#actually i like fries better
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Hi Tumblr so how does this work,, um hherees my horrortale sketches
#undertale#horrortale#sans undertale#sans au#sans#horror sans#undertale au#horrortale aliza#sans horrortale#horrortale sans#uhhhh burger#actually i like fries better#with a little ketchup?#perchance.
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GARRUS VAKARIAN: DATABASE IMAGE ACCESS.
> PT. 1 : 2160, 2166, 2170.
> all files backdated according to user preferences: (terran_coordinated.calendar).
#mass effect#mass effect fanart#garrus vakarian#mass effect garrus#castis vakarian#solana vakarian#turians#alien#palaven#artists on tumblr#illustration#art#scifi#video games#milkyart#garrus retro#I want to make more of these so I'm giving it a tag#headcanons go as such:#turians have a downy coat from birth to toddler age after which actual feathers develop - which molt during puberty.#they're the color of the plates since feathers are modified scales! so for the vakarian siblings they're silvery.#child garrus playing spectre - solana already annoyed by it back then. but hey at least he's using sources for his make believe? nerd#first time castis takes him shooting it's a live target. have fun kid I hope this won't awaken anything in you or do irreparable damage#castis voice: I didn't raise him like this!#well buddy someone did.#also - hard to see but the leaves and tree trunks have a metallic sheen :-)#god this took SO LONG ive never done something quite like this before! also wanted to do landscape for once.#social media is so hostile to this format but I think 3 images is a good workaround#will make a detail post later on... the faces are probably getting fried by tumblr :(#oh I gave castis the comic markings. they look way better and imo make more sense. and we don’t talk about me:a here
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black sails is revolutionary because it begs to ask the question what if weird internalized homophobia externalized as brutal heightened violence but make it lesbian? what if we add a lil attack dog beside stoic goddess trope to that lesbian? And wrap it up in some of the best most poetic writing you've ever heard
#with a side of trickster gay tragic soulmate fries#max is a genuis who deserved better but wow jesus christ what a pen on this show#camille watches#black sails#that ppl would even DREAM of calling any of it subtext or not actually queer is insane actually#its even gayer than i remembered#we start off ep 1 with divorced lesbians and then#the man became a pirate to escape grief of having lost his gay lover and then gets into a toxic relationship what the fuck else do u want#MULTIPLE poly/thruple relationships...like? who is doing this#PLUS to take beloved literary characters like Flint and John and just make them canonically gay??
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Me: Hey, you know, I loved CotL, and Hades 2 is coming out... I should try and finish Hades!
*About an hour into Hades, exhausted, brain fried from the constant fast fighting*: Oh yeah...
#Hades#Hades 2#cotl#Cult of the Lamb#Spouse and I wanna play Hades 2 when it comes out but I don't want to til we beat the first one (in case they're related)#but Spouse doesn't care so gjdndn#i LOVE the game don't get me wrong!!#i just have to take a LOT of breaks while playing#so. trying to like. 'speedrun' for lack of a better word is. Definitely Not going to happen gkdnej#last time i played i DID actually manage to beat Hades (the character) TWICE but it took. A while. And i would be exhausted afterwards#i feel kinda hypocritical bc how much i play and enjoy Lamb but. i also get to take breaks from fighting by spending time with the Cult?#and am also still mentally fried after fighting for too long so...#probably gonna have to watch some kinda let's play/summary as much as i don't want to
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OOPS forgot to take pictures for my one year anniversary on testosterone cause I went on a walk with my bf and then ate a lasagna garfield style so uhmm here have some pics from the last few months ok?
Featuring @binesetakeout as that sexy lil binch in the top left corner
#shut up max#ill take some tomorrow okaayyyy#not Thursday though because my bf and i are gonna try making salmon fried rice because my grandparents gave me some salmon!!#and we keep forgetting about it#anyways uhm these are in order from oldest (September 30 2023) to newest (April 20 2024)#its been so fun and im very grateful to have such strong support amongst my friends throughout my first year on testosterone#lots of ups and downs but the ups have far surpassed the downs#i say that over all for everything the past few months btw not just about my hrt#so many fun times but ive also been sick more in the past few months than i had been in the past like three years. like actually#not to mention the $5000 worth of car repairs#but i wouldnt trade any of this away for anything. i love my boyfriend and my bestie Andi and all my friends#and i love living my life and im soooo free now#it gets so much better guys i promise. i love you
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i am slow cooking the most delicious of concoctions in the kitchen rn
(my tags are so long lol whole half ass recipe down there)
#idk its some bastardized recipe for something called mongolian beef#well can it really be called bastardized when i actually fuckin improved it#like all there was originally was fucking soy sauce garlic brown sugar and onion#LITERALLY NO SEASONING#so i took my earned skills and actuallly made it good#the sauce is now flavorful and doesnt taste like garlic soywater#(the meat gets slow cooked in the sauce thats how i know how the sauce tastes)#added a teeny bit of mustard powder and cumin(half TBsp) added some ginger and onion powder(TBsp) and upgraded garlic to black garlic(TB)#it contained 1/2 cup of soy and 1/3 cup of Brown sugar#also replaced the water with beef broth(half cup)#theres also some oil(i did reg Veggie oil cause i dont like Sesame/ 1TB)#you serve ontop some seasoned/fried rice and mixed peppers/veggies thatve been lightly seasoned and fried in a skillet#the meat(1 1/4 Lb.) gets cleaned and sliced into strips#you leave the strips in a heavy salt solution to leach it/tenderize it(you can use other methods but this was what i had on hand) then rins#(you leave it in the solution for ATLEAST 30 minutes)#pat the strips down dry and using a 1/4 cup of Corn starch you coat the strips entirely#you then put the meat into your sauce and stir it around until the meat is entirely covered in it#then slow cook for however long you want(im doing 8 hours for some REAL tender shit)#alot of these measurements were eyed balled (except starch and liquids)[im skilled at this]#i will update yall once ive tasted the finished product#i went a little light on the seasoning but i dont have certain ingredients i want/can obtain so i had to make do(plus my parents cant shiit#DO NOT ADD EXTRA SALT TO THE DISH#leaching the meat and the soy sauce already has enough salt content#THE STARCH IS NECESSARY PART OF THE DISH#you can achieve black garlic by slow cooking regular garlic FOR WEEKS#longer = better#also i recommend using minced Ginger instead of powder for better flavour
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Instant sugar rush...then a slow painful death.
#me doing art for a meme that is still relevant (at this time) LIKE A BOSS!!!#*ahem*#twitter meme#art challenge#ocart#ocs#oc stuff#Theo#grimace shake#grimace mcdonalds#memes#comics#orginal art#digital art#my art#i actually have no idea what this shake tastes like#but something tells me that im better off#but now i am in the mood for a fast food burger and fries XD
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Another personal take on today's Neo-liberalism-- how IT is the OTHER SIDE OF THE SAME COIN AS ALT-RIGHT WINGERS (ya know how "new age spirituality" is now becoming synonymous with CULTURAL APPROPRIATION and ABUSE APOLOGISM and NO ONE IS BATTING AN EYE ABOUT IT)....
Just saw a post from a "trans person" about how it's "ableism" to call out an abusive person who is IN THE HIGHER SPECTRUM OF NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER because "being a narcissist is a mental disorder"... are you fucking kidding me???
(fyi, mirroring is a form of MALEVOLENT manipulation - mirroring is something that a lot of ABUSIVE people in the HIGHER SPECTRUM OF NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER DO TO HARM OTHERS).
And I just smdh.... reactive liberalism will excuse anything these days.
...reminds me of American/"Western" kids who are groomed to think being "trans" is about ASSIMILATING to the hetero-normative PERSPECTIVE AND EXPECTATIONS of GENDER EXPRESSION.
it's the same type of oppressive heteronormativity???? (this is why I don't vibe with folks who say shit like "the youth today are kinder" -- NO THEY ARE NOT. they've become more SKILLED at mimicking societal conventions).
OPPRESSION TODAY HAS BECOME MORE INSIDIOUS.
Y'all really need to stop thinking in BINARY.
Just because someone's gay, doesn't mean they can't be racist, or classist, or oppressive??? Just like, just because someone adheres to the identity politics of "latinidad" or any other "non-white" identity doesn't mean they're "progressive"????
(I used to run decolonizeyourself.tumblr.com and decolonizeyourselfarchive.tumblr.com)
....Just because some "westerner" identifies as "trans" doesn't mean they know shit-all about "ableism"!
Please stop throwing around the word "ableism" whenever folks talk about ABUSE that are coming from a person with NPD.
#ya know how autism is a spectrum#NPD is also a spectrum#except there have been over 50+ years of studies on NPD also as a CULTURAL PHENOMENA#it is a direct PSYCHOLOGICAL “result” of coloniality#and when people think it's “ableist” to IDENTIFY an abusive person's behavior as “narcissistic” - YALL essentially are DEFENDING ABUSE!#systemic abuse!!!!#I was a behavior technician before#the difference between those who need ASSISTANCE in the BASIC function of societal interactions VS. those in the “higher function” spectrum#NOT the same as NPD where those in the “higher spectrum” are more likely to be MALEVOLENT#it is NOT ableism to call out an abusive person for being NARCISSISTIC#reminds me of a friend who used to say “kids today are BETTER PEOPLE than KIDS in the past”#and I was like MY MOM WAS BORN IN 1944 AND MY DAD in 1933 AND THEY never adhered to heteronormativity#ive met YOUNG KIDS TODAY in their early 20s who are all about ~lgbt~ but would perpetuate HETERONORMATIVITY#when my mom was working at a fried chicken place at AGE 60 a bunch of 12 year old Latina kids came in twice to make fun of her accent#and how “dirty” she was.... so are any of you understanding that AGE AND GENERATION DO NOT DICTATE SOMEONE'S “bigotry”????#my mom and dad were actual “progressives” at age 60-90 than most American kids who CLAIM TO BE LIBERAL at age 20????#like even as a 30+ adult I have had LATINAS in their 20s w/ gay and trans friends who would be RACIST AND CLASSIST AND MISOGYNISTIC TO ME?
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throwback to 1 year ago today when I made Lomo Saltado for my friends
#Lomo saltado is peak food and I won’t take criticisms#lomo saltado#Actually as a fact checker I kinda like lomito better (same meat dish but as a sandwich instead of with rice and fries)#Anyways I’m making this again no worries but queued this post bc tbh I think the food looks good in the pic and Ik it tasted fire#Cooking#food#Mylife#Creativendeavors
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hm
i think
maybe
i should talk to my manager(s), ask what the shortest shift i can take is, and adjust my availability
cause uh
timing things tomorrow and im cutting a LOT very close
#i may see if i can work like... a 3-3.5 hour shift instead of a 4#that might fit better monday/wednesdays#and ask if i could be scheduled most future weekends#ill see how tomorrow goes but i might just text my manager and ask if i could talk w her one on one#or the assistant manager anyways#i havent seen my manager around in over a week#but anyways have a 1 on 1 and talk about my availability/scheduling#cause i like the job!!! but my classes this semester are pretty spaced out but not in a way that could fit a 4+ hour shift#or like maybe talk to her and say 'hey if i could be scheduled sun fri sat each week for 7-8 hours thatd be great'#cause that fulfills my part time hours + i get a decent amount of money + i have way more time to focus on that#the only thing is i JUST updated my availability for her but uh. that was before actually doing it in practice#amber's shit you can ignore
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kind of funny whenever (and this happens quite often) someone older than me is like "yeah the world aka US politics went to shit in 2016 it wasn't this ridiculous and bizarre before aaaa it feels different" because whether i Would agree or not is hampered by the fact that i was roughly 11 at the time. like i'll take your word for it boss o7 bc i was a zygote in terms of political awareness. my ass was not paying attention enough before so i have no previous era to compare it to. i was thinking about hex bugs or something that whole time idk
#of course ive been learning more about politics (current and past) since then and have more technical knowledge#but this post is about like. the feeling/experience of it yknow? how politics FELT rather than how they were#because politics kinda seems ridiculous to me in general but i figure the whole '2016 = first election you followed' thing might have a#teensy bit of bias there. just a little#and when my parents and grandparents and auch have said it i assumed it was probably a liberal-not-paying-attention thing#but ive had multiple professors who are about as left-leaning as one can be while still being vaguely capitalist (well. ig i dont know for#one of them. she might be a socialist? anyway) express the same thing so ive been thinking about it some more#I'll never know because i can never be there as an older better informed me but i still wonder sometimes how this like. may or may not have#fried my brain (and many others my age) growing up in that era. like anti-sjw stuff was the first political stuff i Actually consumed.#which is NOT GOOD FOR YOU. anyway my point is i think it probably messed me up but i don't know and may never know. thats all
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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i want to paint, but autism is hungry and needs to be fed 8hrs of skyrim a day
#i'm trying to set up to paint bc i want to!! but every bone in my body says no#i'm gonna feel sad and disappointed in myself if i don't paint because i want to actually *do* something#and not spend this whole weekend having barely even scraped the surface of what i truly genuinely wanted to do#and instead just burn away the time looking at skyrim#i'm not even really having all that much fun playing it!!! but i can't break away from it#which isn't always a bad thing especially on week days but? on a long weekend where i want to enjoy myself??#and i can't because my brain won't let me??? not fun!!!#painting is so boring and understimulating and my brain is way too foggy right now to think about mixing colors and layering#(secretly i don't even want to paint i just want to feel satisfied at creating a thing!!) (my brain is too fried to hold a thought long#enough to do the physical action of painting! it sounds wayyyy too daunting and taxing right now!!)#but if i spend this whole weekend having sat on my ass doing nothing will i feel rested? no!!!#but if i spend all my energy doing A Hobby will i feel rested? also no!!! but then i'll at least have something to show for it#i'm riling myself up and i feel like i ALMOST could make myself paint right now#but as soon as i think of what it will feel like to sit here and focus and move my hands to do the painting my brain screams NO#and sure i can argue i'll feel better if i do it i'll be glad if i do it and it'll be easier once i start#but this isn't the walk i took yesterday (that i was glad i took but still felt like garbage after)#i WANTED to take a walk. i was just struggling with the level of exertion i could manage (walk my neighborhood or drive 30min to the park?)#my brain is latching on to 8hrs a day of skyrim bc that's all i have the energy for#work has been killing me#and it's so painfully bright in my apartment but i can't close the curtains bc i need all the sunlight i can get#i WANT to have the energy to paint and enjoy it but i just don't.... (but i feel like if i Give In to the exhaustion then i'm#no better than my mom who just sits around all day refusing to live her life bc she refuses to take care of herself.#and calls sitting perfectly still—instead of actuvely managing her condition—'not letting her disability win')#(so i don't want to be that. i don't want to waste away like my mom bemoaning how i Just Can't when i totally can!!!#i could push through this exhaustion and hype myself up but the only thing i'm going to be thinking about is Am I Done Yet? Can I Rest Now?)#and i can't convince myself that 'just paint for 30min' is worth it bc mixing paint and setting up is Just So Much#enough that 'just 30min' is a lie and not a legitimate out if i need it to be#i need to commit or not do it. and i just can't......... my eyes hurt and i'm tured and i just wanna play my game#and all this indecision and feeling like i'm wasting time is just making me want to cry. im gonna close the curtains and boot up the xbox;(#personal
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dream of a singular kagamine
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#kagamine len#kagamine rin#rin and len kagamine#len and rin kagamine#rin kagamine#len kagamine#fusion#dreamcore#surreal#bright colors#balloons#ugh i never know how to tag anything anymore bruh 😭 im so tired#wasn't actually originally going for that sorta weirdcore/dreamcore aesthetic but it worked out?? i need to do more legit bgs like actually#the fcked up eyes coulda turned out better but it turns out im not good at drawing conjoined irises... or whatever thats called#double pupils... there's a lot going on there. was also contemplating abt giving them extra limbs but i was nah...#meant to look more relatively normal; and you could argue some sorta symbolism abt rin&len's relationship here too but idk#idk what to type here my brain is fried right now uhhh... no relation to anything ive previously posted. no idea WHERE tf they are#i randomly decided to save a transparent png of them w/ flat colors before i added the bg and shading and everything too#doubt i'll ever use it but?? its here in my files now
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2 lovely enjoyable family phone calls today and I'm fresh outta Talking Juice :( but at least I have plenty of Posting Juice left :)
#ugh I'm so fried idk#i didn't even do That Much this weekend#AND i had an extra day off this week (mostly)#but but but i started new meds and had two dr appts...wait no 3 actually. luckily 2 were short zoom meetings#it's just a bummer cause i felt like i was doing Better but. i should not have let myself get my hopes up#like i would suddenly magically stop being disabled or whatever the fuck i am just bc I'm on new meds!!!#anyway it's ok i got done everything i needed to this weekend I'm Literally Fine#gonna go do very limited pt exercises and then either write or read depending on my brain!!
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Art summary time again (～￣▽￣)～
I may not have such an obvious improvement like last year, but I learned a lot of new techniques and stuff! Also finally got a design for Galvarium (June).. that was the highlight of my year ◕_◕
2021 and 2020's are below!
#my art#Digital art#original character#Bayonetta#Persona 5 royal#Kirby#(it is all Magolor actually but whatever)#art summary#OC#I learned how to draw old people better.. makes me very happy#Also gold/metal! Definitely during the later half I feel I understand the textures of metal more#Over all I'm happy with the stuff I made this year despite the long break I took from drawing + my laptop getting fried!#Leel's art#I didn't really get a whole lot of time to finish anything this month aside from Balder's mugshot but I like how that came out so it's fine#Mad Rabbit#Octavous#(who lost his last name and needs a new one give me a bit to think of one)#Demiascareous Excelorn#Galvarium Alkaheidra#Nightmare Personified#Pandora#(also doesn't have a last name)#Listing all the ocs just for myself so I can find this summary easier when I inevitably lose it (❁´◡`❁)#Finishing off the year with an old man.. This is the second year in a row! Let's aim for three next year
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