#actually i have one more cent but its like a half-cent tbh

[wyllzel]

the thought occurred to me while playing through "return to ostagar," but now i'm almost certain that cailan's body here is meant to evoke saint sebastian 👀

this could be a reference to saint sebastian's role as "a defense against the plague"—i think it's pretty safe to replace "plague" here with "blight," given that cailan was one of the few to actually take the blight seriously and attempt to fight it (however misguided his actions were)

but saint sebastian is also a notable figure of "homosexual desire (indeed, a homoerotic ideal)"—which makes me think that anora wasn't as successful in her influence over her husband as she might have believed... and which i think can be reinforced by cailan's strong interest in the grey wardens (who in da:o's ferelden are a largely fraternal organization)

[thedemonscrawler]

HEY guess what you can do with wool? That's right!

DYE IT

With food coloring and kool-aid!! And also acid dyes, which are designed for this, but acid dyes can't be used with cookware you put food in, and Kool-Aid packets are 50 cents.

.. did they go up in price? Didn't they used to be 20 cents? Anyway

Tbh a big part of the allure of spinning my own yarn is dying either the fibers or the final product. I just like the sense of independence that comes from going "ah, I need a color, and I have a lot of white and a handful of dyes!". I did this a lot with my posable critters too, though acrylic and polyester are a lot more strict about what dyes will actually work.

(Though tbh? Soaking acrylic faux fur in watered down acrylic paint, waiting for it to dry, and then taking a slicker brush and brushing out the clumps will get you pretty far!)

The evidence of crimes past with that paint permanently on there. I think this fucker is almost old enough to make its own Tumblr account (but not in Australia 8()

I digress! Because I haven't been dyeing acrylic, but KERATIN!

I did actually try dyeing a chunk with the same semi-permanant magenta dye I use on my own hair, cos like. Hair is also keratin.

Actually, it was supposed to be a bisexual gradient from pink to blue, but when it came time to heat set the color, the manic panic blue just fucking vanished.

Lesson learned: Ion Color Brilliance is a good brand, Manic Panic is not.

My bestie has inquired about me spinning the yarn and knitting them a scarf, so I wanted to make what was basically a mockup of the different ways you can spin the fibers to get different colors effects. And also I got Kool-Aid this past grocery visit and have been chomping at the bit to use it.

@sivilityy enables me <3

BEHOLD, MY CHILDREN!

Dyeing wool with kool-aid or food coloring is very easy!

Step 1: Soak wool in warm to hot water with about a 1/3rd of a cup of white vinegar for 15 to 45min. The vinegar is a mordant, something that helps the fibers take up the dye.

Step 2: Mix your dye of choice into a pot of warm to hot water, close in temperature to the soaking bath. The more kool-aid or food coloring, the stronger the color. I was going for pastels, so I used half a pack for the blue and pink, and a single drop of yellow food coloring for the yellow. The purple... 8') We won't talk about the purple.

Step 3: Fish your wool out of its soak, give it a gentle squeeze, then plop it into the pot. I like to scoop out some of the vinegar water and pour it into the pot as well. For insurance!

Step 4: Heat your pot to just below boiling. You want steam, but little to no bubbles. Agitation + heat or sudden temperature changes = felt. You can't spin felt. If you want to to make felt, though, now you know.

Step 5: leave your wool at simmering for around 30 min. How do you know when its done?

it fucking sucks all the color out of the water. How sick is that?! In the few batches I've done, I haven't always gotten it to be clear like that but don't stress it. About 30 min seems to be good even if there's still some color in the water.

Turn off the burner and let your creations cool down in their soup. Or, if you're impatient like me, run your hottest tap water into a different pot, then pour your wool into the slightly cooler but still hot water, so it doesn't get a HUGE temperature shock. Don't use cold water, or you're gonna get felt! Give em a rinse in the hot water to get any extra color out.

Let 'em hang and dry, and you're done!

So far all of mine have felted a little bit? Which hasn't been so bad, I've just needed to fluff them up a little once they're dry. I want to try indirect heat with a steamer basket and see if that helps, but I only got the one basket and 4 colors this time, so I used the pots.

SCIENCE

[itsdappleagain]

ALRIGHT EVERYBODY LETS GET GUSSIED UP FOR THE LUCKY CAT CAPER!!!!

this is SUCH a solid episode. i love this one as well- the outfits, the slapstick, the action. all really good!! alrighty

today's post title pictures are some of my own, from my trip to san fran a few years back!! I'll share some of my favs- I visited or photographed every major caper location on the trip!!

there's me in chinatown, the golden gate bridge, alcatrez, fisherman's wharf and the pier, and good old karl himself!

alrighty- enough pictures. sorry for the long intro! notes under the cut as always :)

YEAHHH THE FLASHBACK TO CARMEN'S FINAL,,, YEAH. i forgot the episode opened like this tbh. i know everyone and their mother has ALSO pointed out that this scene is bathed in red light so i will AGAIN not beat a dead horse but just yes. color theory <3

i love the tiny little oh shit moment on shadowsan's face. like he hadnt quite realized how good she was

GOD THIS GETS SO BRUTAL he's pawing her around like a cat with a pompom

YEAH THE WAY SHE JUST GETS. DESPERATE AS THE FIGHT GOES

her waking up from the nightmare with that culmination of stress. the timer going off correlating with the phone. still being half in the dream when she talks to player and then realizing when he starts talking to her...

this is such a human moment for carmen i love it so so much. she's failed. she is tired, having nightmares, maybe has a headache. she's making mistakes and she's a little bit out of it, she's stiff from sleeping....she's a PERSON and i LOVE IT SO MUCH

or in much less eloquent terms SLEEBY CARMEN <3333

i love the setup for next episode here. its not overbearing; it doesnt feel like a setup episode but it IS and it hints at shadowsan's true motives almost right off the bat

the sigh and "i don't know" is weirdly smooth animation i love it

that pickpocket is soo smooottthh

also i have to know what carmen was doing in san francisco the night before that a. gave her a headache when she woke up and b. made her so tired that she just dropped her pants on the floor and passed out. because it seems to me like carmen sandiego got drunk and had a great time last night.

also. she has just woken up and is picking an outfit for a NIGHTTIME CHARITY GALA. SHE SLEPT IN SO LATE HEHHSHAHJ their sleep schedules are all so bad

carmen looks great in that shot where she opens the curtains sorry not sorry

carmen's hotel is just outside the transamerica pyramid!

in fact it is quite reasonable to assume that she was staying at the hilton. i have solved the mystery that no one asked me to solve

karl <333

cable cars weren't running when i visited sf </3 i was heartbroken

FREE KARL

i dont know look at her reflection

carmens feet are shaped like shoes and i dont know how to feel about that. why is her heel a heel

this dress was the most spectacular thing they ever put her in and the amount of time she wore it was criminally short

they also should have put her in a white dress shirt more often??? hello??? i see it in the closet??? put her in a fucking suit once in a while....that waitress getup in tsonts was THE SHIT

SHE LOOKS STUNNIIINGGGGGGG IN THAT DRESS

i also love that she's thinking about zack for the car, then player for the stamp. her writing is so good this episode...at the start at least

ten million cents, she chuckles, as if the stamp wouldn't still be worth a hundred thousand dollars

i love how casually she is willing to spend 10 million VILEBucks

i love how they call her the generous lady in red too- like they arent expecting this room to be able to afford a ten million dollar stamp and BID on it

L O O K AT THAT DRESS GOD ITS SO GOOD. THE STRAPLESS THE CHOKER THE ELBOW GLOVES THE CLUTCH PURSE AUGHHH ITS SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE IT MORE

THE CONNECTOR IN THE BACK? THE FANCY COMM EARRINGS? CHEFS KISS

chase and carmen had the exact same smirk when they saw the other in the fog i know it

i love their dynamic actually they are so funny together. egypt in season 4 highlights it so well but also. like here. the teasing the banter chase taking everything way too seriously in comparison to carmen treating him like a joke

its close to the cigarette aesthetic, to be honest, and it does not cause lung cancer. so this tiny flashlight i salute you for being hot

CHASE AND JUST TRYING TO GRAB HER DSJHKJWGD

THE SHOE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY AJHKJDFH IT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

poor carmen running around barefoot in the fog now

juliump scare

they stick those where in the world/where on earth references in there every opportunity they can with chase <3

julia is so short wheeze

MIP MIP MIP

that is for sure a bun i am not sure how mime bomb's beret made that shape

this episode is just chase getting jumpscared

he shoes mb away like a stray cat wheeze

the signed/mimed description of carmen is so on point i love mime bomb

go shadowsan go. send tigress <333 i love that he knows carmen so well even now that he knows she would enjoy one-upping tigress on this again

the "betrayed us and took a new name" thing from brunt is. carmen is transgender and brunt is the phobic about it i dont know it reads heavily okay

maelstrom and his democracy

FINE FINE SEND WHOMEVER

brunt has the cleaners on telepathic speed dial damn

the absolute muscles of steel mime bomb must have to sit in midair like that holy fuck

vile's lucky cat. meow. cat girl hand

carmen trying to watch subtly and stay hidden. girlie those are your opposite of strongsuits. weaksuits

mime bomb moves so cartoonishly and i love that. yes this is a cartoon. but. he is more of a cartoon

the music timing with carmen's face as she realizes its a shop FULL of lucky cats is so good

ILL TAKE THE TCHOTCHKE

carmen needs to stop saying "or what? you'll (insert bad thing here)" because the person she's saying that too ALWAYS says "yes exactly that"

luck cat store owner voiced by julia's va beloved. deserved better. glad she got cash in the end even if carmen was an aloof little prick about it and didn't even apologize

WE HAVE OTHERS YOU KNOW im so sorry lucky cat shop lady you deserved better

bait and switch

"keep the change" okay you still destroyed a shitload of her beautiful statues and didn't even help her clean it up. didn't apologize or. look at her. but fine

mime bomb. thats it thats the post

see the comical shifty look around is so fucking funnyyy

MIME BOMB COULD NOT BE MORE SUSPICIOUS IF HE TRIED HE'S SO FUNNY

the running in place gag never gets old

HFDJSFGDS

carmen just being half surprised and half impressed that they arrested mime bomb. yeah

also her just standing blatantly on the rooftop and NO ONE notices her wheeze

JULIA LISTING OFF ALL OF HIS MISHAPS IS SO FUNNY

the graffiti just being giant x's and o's dhfjdasg

mime bomb. is skrunkly

chase thats how you get sued you have to list the miranda rights in murica

julia <333 yes. yes yes yes

i gotta know what mime bomb was signing that made chase interpret "an elephant giving you a pedicure while spreading cheese on a baguette on Bastille day"

julia immediately giving a perfect translation. they are so funny

the expressiveness of chase and mime bomb combined makes for some GOLDEN freeze frames

julia shielding her mouth the wrong way. good job girlie. you tried. he can still see everything youre saying though

chase's neck disconnects from his head!

considering chase and julia never showed any form of identification mime bomb could hypothetically press charges for kidnapping

MIME BOMB OFFERING THE FLOWER AND THEN CHUCKING IT WHEN TIGRESS GETS ANNOYED WITH HIM IS JUST. HIS ANIMATION AND CHARACTER ACTING ARE SO GOOD

all of 26 cents buys mime bomb out

i like julia's little lean on the wharf railing. she's usually just sitting or standing up straight its cool to see her do something

this chase scene is so goood

btw unrelated but this girl is my favorite background extra?? they use her in a TON of bg scenes so. pointing her out to you so that you will notice her forever in other scenes

poor chase. his poor coat. his voice is screaming I LOVED THAT COAT from the future

hehheshgdh carmen is so frustrated that it happened AGAIN with tigress and the stupid thing in the pocket wheeze

HES SO HEARTBROKENKDJSDGFDSG

THE LAMP POST TRANSITIONS BETWEEN EVERYONE RUNNING ARE MY FAAAVORITE I LOVE THOSE

SHE JUST DUMPS THAT GUY OUT OF THE CAR LMAOO

zack using a lil racing metaphor!!! because!! yeah!!!!

this chase scene is so fucking good with all the cars GOD the music and driving through san francisco and everything AUGH

what if the car had just hit chase and he went flying

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I AM NOT INVITING YOU ALONG! I CANNOT BE SLOWED DOWN BY "CAUTION WORDS"

chase is so funny he really sets himself up to fail

i feel bad for julia in this one though. you can see the buildup to next episode when she finally yells at him. shes fucking tired of this shit and yes she should be

carmen is your mom when you go 5 miles above the speed limit

she's one to talk, obviously, seeing as one of the first things she ever did in zack and ivy's presence was run a red light, almost cause an accident, and then fly into an open construction pit, ruining the car she stole from them

the concern in carmen's voice as she attempts to get zack to not crash into a building in an attempt to go up the wall

PLS CARMEN JUST GOES FLYING WHEN THEY GO OVER THOSE HILLS

the little sideyes the other two faculty give when shadowsan and brunt are squabbling shdshgfsdgh

i got to bike across the golden gate bridge it was super cool

THE WOMAN BEAMS HERSELF FROM A FOUNTAIN PEN, SHE CAN DO ANYTHING. well its some kind of respect women juice. maybe not the right kind though

the terror in julia's tone after watching chase not look at the road for a solid minute

annnnd there he goes

julia being done with his shit is so funny i love her

go sheena. scaling the whole ass bridge with her fingertips alone

carmen again sacrificing politeness and basic human decency for a quip </3 oh well

i love that cs color theory post thats like. the golden gate bridge is the epicenter of carmen's power and tigress was a fool for challenging her there

wow look its carmen becoming distracted and disadvantaged by valuable objects people throw at her again

not sheena showing carmen where she put the stamp too. nice job tigress

this showdown is pretty cool

carmen is SO efficient about it she just slides and boom its over. AND she steals the phone

she does look pretty awesome holding the stamp with two fingers though. god

STEALING THE PHONE WAS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT

plus she outed him in front off the whole faculty which is only funny if you dont know what happens next lmaoo

stamp of approval. laugh

tigress just sadly sitting there is also very funny

AND JULIA DRAGGING CHASE OUT OF THE WATERNDSDV

HERE WE GO TRANSITION SENTENCEEE

GO GET HIM!!!!!

WOW i can't believe this Saturday is already going to be the season finale. I LOVE the french connections caper so I am VERY excited for the next episode!! hopefully I won't get so far behind this time. to be fair I was doing state testing and presentations and shit but hopefully the worst of that is over.

alrighty- until next time for the chase dies and then carmen dies caper!!

[bonefall]

Theres a cat called Silverhawk who trained Thistle, maybe he could give Tigerstar a life? IIRC Silverhawk died attacking a riverclan patrol so maybe his could be something along the lines of never backing down?

Also i think spottedleaf would make her. too involved yknow? Shes already sneaking out to help firestar and is (i think) a major part of the plot, while i DO like the whole curse thing it also makes scourge killing Tigerstar feel cheaper (rule of cool, tigerstar losing all 9 lives was cool as fuck because it meant the stakes were higher and firestar wasnt 9 lives safe anymore. It ruins the moment a bit by saying "yeah scourge just killed him normally it was the space cats who took his 9 lives").

Honestly my two cents i think badgerfang's in canon life was super dope. Tigerstar basically brushing off Badgerfang bc of how young he is and ignoring Badgerfang's blatant warning of "dont underestimate ur enemy", effectively dooming himself. Maybe not Badgerfang who gives the life, but i do think it could fit that someone, a half clan cat maybe? tries to give him a life but its brushed off completely bc Tigerstar refuses to believe that a half clan cat has anything of worth to say.

Silverhawk actually got backstory in TBC-- he tried to kill his leader because his son was deputy, and got them both killed in the process! He doesn't have a confirmed Clan yet, but I keep imagining it was RiverClan tbh.

The one who died on the RiverClan patrol was Thistleclaw himself. In my rewrite, that patrol is now the same one where Sunfish was murdered; Leopardfur killed Thistleclaw in revenge.

Anyway, I was a little worried about using Spotty too much. She's popular and I love writing for her so she does come up a ton. I didn't just pick her for no reason though-- she was actually very close with Tigerclaw when they were kids, and her death in the crossfire of a ShadowClan invasion is one of Tiger's few regrets.

He knows she plays tricks but underestimated her; and she gave him a curse instead of a blessing.

But no no, don't think for a minute I'd legitimately set it up like Scourge only killed Tigerstar regularly lmao. Nooo. It would still be the bloody, painful, suffering-nine-times unzippening that it was in canon, even if Spotty laid a curse on him. It would be more like... giving him an extra second's opening.

But if Spotty's not popular I'll do Leopardfoot's instead, telling him that he can still stop this. But he won't.

I generally don't like the "Reluctance Lives" that happen in canon because they backed themselves into a corner and decided that every ceremony MUST end with 9 lives. Every life being given is probably at least several more months of leadership-- a Spirit that does not want the Leader to live longer simply should not give one.

In spite of everything, his mom would still love him and want him to have another life.

[myers-meadow]

"so what im struggling with" *perks up in 'I overthink everything about fantasy'* May I offer my two cents? *heaves up a tome of thoughts*

"does raphael sleep in human or cambion form?" Material Plane snooze are in human form. Nine Circles snoozes are in cabion form.

"but horns" "how does he sleep with them? theyre quite large and tall and wide. extra soft pillow?" *points to that last thing* Yes! And/Or uses his arms like pillows on which to rest his head/cheek/chin.

"then theres the wings" "does one sometimes go underneath? when spooning are u in between the wings? or is he a belly sleeper?" *clears throat* Spooning the fiend can mean you get to be nestled between a pair of powerful wings. Since fiend is big and might sleep on either belly or on side, you either spoon him by laying on top of his back like an undersized security blanket or by laying on one of his wings and it feels no different to him than having slept on one of his arms. Alternatively, big fiend sleeps on side and you spoon him by laying underneath both wings and either scoot further up his body with your arms around his shoulders or scoot further down his body with your arms wrapped around his midriff. Final option (and my personal favorite) is big fiend sleeps on his side, you spoon him by scooting further down his body with your arms wrapped around his midriff, and you use the strong base of the fiend's lower wing as a pillow for your head rather than resting your whole body on it.

"is it easier/more comfortable to then sleep in human form? or are devils so used to cambion from that it doesnt matter to them at all?" Matter of opinion. Not having to deal with horns, tails, wings, and taking up more space has its advantages, but fiends tend to see mortals as lesser (think Raphael's 'I am no mortal!') and I can see a fiend's fiendish form being a point of pride. Also, working around their horns, wings, and tails is indeed likely just second nature to them.

*tome closes with a satisfying 'thud'* Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Sorry for the rambling mess that you didn't ask for.

AAA thank you!! bless!!!!!! ✨🌻

this is actually a GREAT help and a great inspiration!

I do have follow up questions though; so strap in. If you lay underneath his wings, are they heavy? I imagine a pleasant kind of weight, bc i do find weight on top of me when sleeping to be comfortable, but it must also be somewhat inflexable bc of the cartilidge, and it has a few pointy spots as well (as does most of him seemingly).

Aww poor Raphael with pins and needles in his wings after you slept on them half the night 😭 hahahaha. Perhaps you should massage the feeling back into them? :))

Arms around his midriff sounds like heaven.... *dreamy sigh* As well as the 'undersized security blanket' option. I'd love to be his undersized security blanket <3. That also sounds comfy tbh, esp bc im a belly sleeper as well.

i was thinking about the horns being kinda a nuisance sometimes bc i have quite long hair, and despite having lived with it for a while, I still snag it at stuff, sit on it and yank by own head and stuff. It's not the same of course, but playing as a tiefling does make me think so frequently how i would step on my own tail, get it dirty, sleep on top of it awkwardly etcetc sdkfjsdkf.

Speaking of this is making me sleepy.. Wish i could go to bed with Haarlep and have him fuck cuddle me to sleep 🥺💞

Thank you again, this is so helpful and really nice to be able to hear your thoughts!!

xoxo

meadow up past her bedtime looking at images of the (half) devils for references of their wings

[starstrike]

Where do you live and where do you shop because spam's whole thing my whole life is that it's the poor people's meat.

Oregon and safeway. Looking online, I don't think it's marked up. I just wait out big sales on nicer meat and freeze that shit. A 12 pack of spam on amazon is 3.68 a pound. A two pack of spam at walmart is 4.77 a pound. Chicken breasts and thighs from safeway butcher block are on sale for 2 dollars a pound right now. Got bone in pork chops for 77 cents a pound for a saint patty's day sale. The cheapest I've seen spam on sale is 2.84 a pound. I figured I'd get some at that price. But that week, I bought 3 pounds of medium-quality bacon at 2.77 a pound instead. I cut most of it in half, then plastic wrapped and froze it in chunks of 10 half-pieces of bacon. Packing it took about 10 mins. Lasted me months. Safeway has a meat sale almost every week tbh. Something is on sale for cheaper than spam most of the time. Preparing those meats might take "more work", except... it doesn't. Rub a chicken breast with olive oil and slap paprika, salt, and pepper on that bad boy. Put it on tinfoil on a sheet pan. Bake it. 0 dishes. Takes about 25 mins. 3 mins of labor. You have to thaw it the night before, maybe. Making spam taste good means making rice and pan frying at the minimum(unless you know smth I don't) or some kinda sandwich, which uses more spoons than oven baked chicken. For me, at least. In conclusion, I have no idea why spam is the "poor people's meat". Maybe it used to be, but it isn't actually cheaper! Is it just coasting on its reputation? To me, the only benefit is that it's pre-cooked and lasts forever without freezing. Also, spam musubi is yummy. Spam, as far as I can tell, is something you buy because you like it. Not because it's cheap. Also, on a $2 a pound sale, one chicken breast with rice is about the same price as top ramen with an egg cracked in.

IMO, paying attention to sales is the best poor people's meat. I just browse the safeway app from my bed. And safeway isn't even a particularly cheap grocery store? I think their sales are just pretty good and easy to navigate. I hope someone out there gets some benefit from my budgeting essay haha. But frfr do your math and scope things out. You might be surprised what you'll find.

[parcai]

My Opinions on PJO (and the entire Riordanverse)

Okay so this is going to be a really messy post, but I think I just want to put my two cents out there on just everything, not really explaining why, but just listing my stances. I’ve gotten a few questions about it on FF especially, asking why I don’t include certain characters a lot, or why I don’t like this, or what do I think of that, etc, etc, so here’s basically a loose summary of my opinions on all that ish. Buckle up, ig, bc this might be harsh.

Just a few weeks ago, I got a question asking why I rarely write Leo into my stories. I just said it’s because he never fits in the plot. That was partially honest, but not the whole thing.

Full disclosure? I hate him. I hate his characterization, I hate his development (*cough* or lack thereof *cough*), I hate that he’s Rick’s idea of a sensitive male character, and I think the only people who really like him are kids who just don’t know any better which is not their fault. Actually, I think that’s the case for a lot of Rick’s flaws. His younger, easily impressionable demographic misses it all, and it’s depressing to think that they’re being raised with the understanding that all of this is okay. (I hope they find their way to Tumblr eventually and educate themselves).

I dislike HoO Annabeth especially, and I only like her in people’s fanfics or in bits of PJO.

I despise Rick’s idea of POC characters, especially Piper, and I say that as a POC person. (It makes me even more mad because as a successful author, he had the resources to hire consultants on all his POC character depictions. I don’t think his racist portrayals are purposeful, but rather a direct result of ignorance. But ignorance should be held accountable as well). The only POC person who’s okay is Beckendorf, and that’s probably because Rick never talked about him too much, giving him zero opportunities to fuck him up. I won’t say much about Frank or Hazel for the same reason as Beckendorf: they barely exist. There are def a bunch of poor portrayal moments for both of them, though. (In fact, none of the OG HoO characters got much development at all, and I feel like I don’t even know them, but that’s a separate rant.)

I only like Solangelo because of the fandom, but the canon version is trash. It was a last minute resort to give Nico a romantic interest because he couldn’t come up with a better idea, and it has no development whatsoever. The only reason he probably made them a bigger part of his universe and spin-off books is because he saw how much the fandom loved having representation and he fed off it. Shameful.

Speaking of feeding off fan reactions, Jason’s death in TBM was a cheap money-grab. Most of Rick’s recent books are straight fanservice (like for Solangelo), and when Rick saw that his sales were falling as HoO progressed, he decided to reel back in his original readers by killing off Jason.

Calypso was basically an object and a prize for Leo, so thx for that. Over half of his female characters are Strong Women™ which is a fucking knife to the gut. (And the ones who aren’t are portrayed like villains. Big whoop).

In Kane Chronicles, Carter is portrayed as more useless than Sadie despite knowing more about the mythology and growing up with their father. (Oh, and he’s expressed multiple times as being darker skinned than Sadie. Coincidence? Perhaps.)

In Magnus Chase, the Norse Gods are fucking jokes. At least in PJO, the monsters were fearful, and only the giants were stupid. (Notice I did not say the same for HoO). You’re seriously going to tell me Thor’s just a stupid asshole? Really? Really? At least pretend the stakes exist.

I think that’s about it off the top of my head. Man, that’s like a weight off my chest.

Finally, I just want to say that I understand it’s a children’s series, and I understand it was a decent effort to start being progressive for its time, but tbh, I’m sick of people pretending children’s books are exempt from criticism.

If they’re intended for younger audiences, shouldn’t we actually hold them to higher standards? Wouldn’t we want the best of the best for our youth? This is part of the reason I encourage criticism on my fanfics, and when my book comes out, I want y’all to criticize that shit. If I fuck up a POC character, call me tf out for it. If my representation of a certain group isn’t good enough, fucking call me out. In the second book esp., there are going to be quite a few POC characters (there only 3 in bk 1 as of now; there’s more LGBTQ+ though lol), and I’m trying my best to do a lot of research, but I also fully admit that I am capable of messing up.

I’m not saying Rick did a bad thing by trying to be inclusive, but I am saying he started to get lazy with his research (if he even researched at all), and it shows. I’m not saying to cancel him like JK bc I think he has the potential to grow if he chooses to do so, but I think it’s time we take him down from this pedestal and stop pretending he can do no wrong and acknowledge that there are things that aren’t right about his books as well.

I am saying complacency will kill this nation if we don’t get a mf grip. We can only improve as a society by holding ourselves and each other accountable. If you want me to expand on any of these criticisms, hmu, and I’m happy to explain.

I think I will be writing a post on my female criticism really soon bc I see a lot of posts about the racism recently (which is equally as important, and those threads are well-written and incredible) but not so much about the other things. I think I’ll write one on the female one, the Solangelo one, and the Jason one, and maybe the Magnus Chase one, because I’ve had a lot on my mind about all of those recently.

[adashelbysgirlfriend]

Polly’s Daughter - Headcannon

request ; Hey! Would you consider making headcanons for being Polly's lost daughter and how she would react to the daughter just appearing one day telling her that they just told Polly that she's dead to keep her away? And how Polly would react and treat her afterwards + how the rest of the family would? 💜

i think this is a genius idea tbh; mainly because i refuse to believe in a world where Anna Gray isn't alive. I just need Polly to be happy? i don't think thats asking too much. So yer, thank you for this - you've fuelled my domestic fantasy where Polly has a full family and is never sad again. This one also hits hard for me because my mum was adopted as a baby, and I've always grown up wondering who my biological grandma is - so however you are and wherever you are granny i hope youre rocking on and having a good old time!

i kinda wrote this from like the readers point of view? i don't know why i just liked the flow better that way. Anyway, i hope you like it! and NEVER hesitate to send in a Polly related request because i ADORE the woman. Iconic. 

i feel like she’d grow up dreaming of a your mum coming to find you 

because you were a few years older than 

but with every birthday and Christmas without so much as a card, it would kinda harden you into hating Polly for leaving you like that 

being moved to Australia and completely giving up on her ever trying to find you 

trying really hard to not repeat your mothers mistakes

being as responsible as possible

finally ending up with a family that keeps you around long enough for you to build up some sort of trust system and being a second mum to their other kids

you'd found out your mother was looking for you and freaked the fuck out

shock turned into anger

the woman who left you, didn't love you like any decent mother would, now wanted to meet you on her terms

absolutely not 

no way

especially when you heard that the Tommy Shelby of Small Heath was the one putting feelers out for you 

but being brought up in the care system (or lack there of it) had made your mind somewhat deviant and street smart 

you also knew quite a few undesirable members of society, some of which had a level of power

it wasn't hard for them to formulate a fake paper trail 

and just like that, Anna Gray was officially dead

you stayed in Australia but never felt settled again after that 

as you got older, became an adult, the earlier anger turned into hurt

why had she left you?

why did she want you back?

i feel like these emotions would brew for a while but it would take a personal event to make you finally snap and want to go find Polly

you’ve always been careful with sleeping with men and not becoming a mum yourself so young but like you end up a month late for your period and are convinced   you’re pregnant

queue storm of Angst 

never feeling so close to understanding your mums decision as this

you go to the doctors and you aren't, but it sticks with you

or maybe its just when you have to leave your new family and move out alone, you realise how hard it is to be by yourself in the big city and also how much you need family

you go to Birmingham a month later

youre SHIT scared

and not just because youre well aware of the status your mothers family has

massive fear of rejection 

youre well aware of the time thats passed in-between her looking for you and you actually showing up

 what if she doesn't want to see you anymore?

what if she does but youre just not what she expected and she doesn't want to know you?

standing on her doorstep for like a good half hour before knocking

which alerts the boys that something fishy is going on 

her coming to the door and you just standing there like a lemon with no clue what to say even though you've been literally planning this moment for as long as you can remember 

finally getting the words out and making Polly the speechless one

she definitely doesn't fully believe you 

she wants too, with her whole heart, but she doesn't think its possible for you to be alive so she thinks its some sick joke by one of their enemies 

she definitely slaps you

you slap her back obviously 

she's crying and shouting and you’re crying and shouting

everyones confused

Tommy and John coming out to break up whatever going on

“who Tommy?! who would send some whore and have them to pretend to be my Anna?”

“Oh IM the whore? who left who? i can't believe i even bothered coming all this way, all you've ever been is a disappointment, i wish i was dead so i never had to meet you “

Tommy and John feeling like they are watching Polly fight with Polly 

“Pol, its her” 

“How! How can i be her Tom?!”

“Just look at her Pol” 

“Holy shit Pol, its definitely her” - John ever so eloquently adding in his two cent 

ending up inside with Polly

the lads being nervous to leave you two together just incase you fight again but her sending them away

as soon as you start talking instead of shouting, she can take a proper look at you 

and bOY do you look like her

it makes her feel warm and violently sick all in one

she probably actually has to excuse herself to vomit

she just needs to hold you 

its a bit uncomfortable and awkward at first but then it all hits you at once and you can't stop yourself from sobbing 

she's sobbing too 

fuck me man everyones sobbing tbh

just sitting like that for hours, until you have no more tears to cry

“well lass, you’re far too skinny” 

feeding you 

drawing you a bath

putting the fire on for you 

making sure she sets up a bed for you so you’re comfortable and i don't mean calling the maid in to do it, she wants to do it by hand so she knows its perfect

it taking a long time for you to trust her fully 

but Polly literally doing everything she can to show you she will always regret losing you that day

finding out it wasn't her fault

“I didn't want to lose you, you or Michael, they took you away but i never ever stopped loving you. I thought about you every morning when i woke up and every night before i went to sleep, even after i thought you were gone’

meeting the boys properly 

Tommy is cautious of you at first, not wanting to see Polly hurt but he grows to trust you and love you in his own nonchalant  way 

John and you being a comedy double act, you get his respect from day one for straight up fighting Polly fucking Gray in the street, and everyone else enjoys seeing him be torn apart by your humour 

Arthur sees you as his little sister, would protect you with him whole life

Michael doesn't really remember you that well, but you grow to become siblings again

Ada has you over for sleepovers at least once a week, and youre even trusted to look after little Karl for her, she loves you and is the big sister you never thought you needed, but she also respects you for what you've been through and is always checking in and making sure youre okay and reminding you that youre part of a family now

Finn is probably the first ti accept you because its Finn guys, what an angel we STAN 

it definitely takes a while, but youre glad of the day you stepped foot on Polly doorstep

and none of them can imagine life without you now.

[funky-boat-zone]

the lighthouse chronicles: part 2/??

black out

something i’ve learned is that only there’s a 50/50 chance that the episode uploaded and the video’s title will actually match up. so i have to check the episode’s title card every time i click on another one to make sure it’s not one i’ve already blogged

i’ll never get over “snugboat harbor”. it makes this series sound like a soothing set of bedtime stories, which i’d probably prefer tbh

“sufferin’ smokestacks” big mac, i can’t believe you’d steal your own brother’s catchphrase like this!

when has big stack ever played practical jokes? i can’t even think of a single instance within this own series

“maybe it was something you ate” warrior, stop. stop implying that these boats have organs, that’s terrible

sunshine is clearly making fun of big mac, and yet she looks just as scared as tugs!sunshine did in the original series

talking abt the cartoon segments for a minute: salty’s toy boat is alive enough to blink, and yet he’s stashed away in the toybox? (could have just been a visual gag, but i’m taking every thing to its most horrific possible conclusion for The Funny)

if aurora is a lighthouse bulb, she’s probably the world’s most ineffective lighthouse because salty and friends would go blind otherwise

the public domain footage used in the musical segments is the stuff of nightmares half the time.

“what’s that crackling sound” sounds like wood creaking, but ok

one of the scariest moments in the original series, and it’s watered down to less than a minute with ten cents and sunshine downplaying how scary it is the whole time.

hercules’ spiel at the end is weirdly faithful to the original episode, idk how to feel

eight is too much

the musical segment is inexplicably at the beginning of the episode

zak still sounds like a chain smoker in this universe, so at least this show got that right 

it’s not safe to go through the canal.

zak, you don’t get to yell at zb to get away from the bridge when you were the one who made him take it under the bridge in the first place when he correctly guessed that his load was too tall and didn’t want to

don’t talk to me through the fourth wall, salty

one bad day

“nothing’s gonna go wrong today” good going warrior, you’ve jinxed it.

the audio for this episode has a lot of mic pops, so i feel like i’m traversing a minefield sound-wise. fun times

warrior might sink someone bc he just wants to show off his rocks

“my good day is turning into a really, really bad one” warrior, most of your current mishaps wouldn’t have taken place if you didn’t decide to show off your rocks.

“stay here, stinker” does lord stinker really have a choice anyway? he’s a barge

there’s at least a few more fires (using footage from “munitions”) across the series. this harbor is arguably even less fire-safe than bigg city port!

hands off!

oh god, oh fuck. it’s another episode with messed up audio. this is gonna suck.

“someday we’ll be bigger tugs” hey ten cents what the fuck does this mean

also sunshine switches liveries constantly throughout episodes, because they keep using footage from “sunshine”, but it’s especially noticeable here

yes, a wave dragged sunshine into the duchess, much like how zip and zug accidentally jammed a fire barge across the creek that one time.

“the fog rolls in like a new carpet” if i write a book, remind me to steal that.

top hat is the funniest part of this whole damn show. that’s not saying much, but hey. i’ll give him some credit

sunshine is described as having “a lump in her throat”, which raises a lot of horrifying questions (okay i’ll try to lay off the body horror jokes now, even i can tell that they’re probably getting repetitive)

[zanguntsu]

what are ur thoughts on each bleach arc o: like quality wise!

oh boy this got longer than expected. Whoops.

substitute arc: i rlly like this arc! its short but i love how it sets up the characters and i adore the integration between ichigos human life vs shinigami life And i like the monster of the week set up its a fun and its a lot more character focused in the beginning. the fights were very character driven, like with grand fisher, sora, the hollow that went to hell. all the fights felt like they had a meaning that had a strong impact on a character, like ichigo having closure after defeating (he should have killed him tbh) grand fisher.

soul society: one of the best if not the best arcs imo. theres a good amount of development, the fights are good and have emotional weight (ichigo v byakuya, uryu v mayuri, chad v shunsui, yoruichi v soi fon) and the newly introduced characters are interesting! very iconic and cool! there was a lot of character arc conclusions? Closure? like with uryu and yoruichi as well as rukia. the characters are a strong point here too and the introduction of soul society brought in world building and it was something we really needed to see. soul society as the villains was pretty good and it did show them as a threat. its a good arc and had a good cliffhanger ending to the next arc

arrancar arc: its a pretty good arc but this is where i feel like bleach was starting to fall off in quality since kubo didnt plan for the series to go past ss. like the plot was a little repetitive with the rescue arc the placing was pretty bad and its where the kubos problem of having too many characters started forming. there are some pretty good moments though, i really love the ichigo vs grimmjow and ichigo vs ulquiorra fights along with rukia vs aaroniero (rukia development time,,). the arc just felt pretty slow at times ig? But there are some very good moments

fake karakura arc/deicide: i like this arc even though i know half of it was bullshit. there are some good fights, soi fon vs barragan is one of my faves bc her bankai and it was just interesting to see the captains more involved even though i wish they didnt just stand there. like cmon the fate of the world is at stake gang up on ppl u have numbers. i do think its bullshit to have aizen be That powerful (i will excuse the hogyoku use bc thats his trump card and was set up) but having him take down everyone like that was eh. like i know it was meant to show how powerful aizen was but honestly i wish there was a better way. maybe make them all fight amongst each other like with momo but its all mind games and shit i feel like that was a better way of showing how strong aizen was. also speaking of aizen i wish there was more character to him like take away his manipulative badass thing and its just nothing. what drives him to kill the soul king and why? was it loneliness (which is a poor motive tbh), injustice? what brought him on this path? i feel like tousens goals had more to it then aizen tbh

the deicide arc was pretty okay i love mugetsu but im sorry there was absolutely no lead up to him. i love that form but its pretty bullshit that it didnt get as much as a mention in the past and i wish it did bc that would have made mugetsu have a lot more impact. i remember how ppl theorized that it was how isshin lost his powers even though it was proven otherwise but i wish they went with that. but i did like seeing zangetsu again and that touching moment with him and ichigo was good also the rukia and ichigo goodbye was very emotional. was it a good arc? maybe not plot wise but its pretty beloved

fullbringer: oh this is where the quality definitely dropped which sucks because i feel like this arc had a very interesting premise and plot set up. i know that i havent watched/read all of the fb arc but i do know enough of it just not much in between the beginning and end. i wish that the fullbringers had more focus bc they were all forgettable except maybe riruka and they should have had more screentime and the concept of fullbringers is genuinely interesting?? humans with hollow powers is a good concept and its a shame kubo didnt expand upon this more

oh and i have some beef with the villains bc its a fucking tragedy of wasted potential. ginjo is like. almost there to be considered a good villain. hes the previous substitute shinigami and u only bring it up at the end?? thats such a huge chunk of information and it sets up a connection between ichigo and ginjo. idc about tsukishima he can be whatever but i do think ginjo could have been a pretty good villain if he wasnt as blatantly evil. like i know the betrayal schtick is getting old but i would have preferred him as a villain with good intentions, like having him against soul society is a good motive bc ss commits war crimes but it was never clear in this arc (aside from ss monitering the substitutes) but it just didnt feel as strong as a motive to make him do what he did.

one good thing i do have to say about this arc was i do like ichigo in this arc and how much conflict he experiences and we get to see him commit murder although i do wish this had repercussions on him. i feel like soul society’s intervention was unnecessary but thats just me. the fullbringer arc being centered around humans was a good idea, bringing the series back to its roots and i just wish we spent more developmemt with the humans before jumping back to soul society, like more time on the aftermath of the last arc. also this arc should have been the chad arc im dying on this hill.

tybw: wow! this was a trainwreck of an arc! i have. So Many issues with tybw and its where kubos writing weaknesses truly shine. the biggest issues are its pacing which is absolutely abhorrent and it takes up at least a third of the entire series (literally. tybw had 206 chapters out of 686 since tybw officially starts on 480). we had periods where the main cast dont show up for like. 50 chapters. the other biggest problem were the characters. why did kubo think it was a good idea to introduce 26+ characters. why. there is absolutely no time to develop them and while some may receive screentime the majority have no impact to the plot beyond their fights with the characters we actually care about. there is no reason for people to give a shit about them. i can barely remember their names, much less their backstories

and one of the bigger problems was the antagonists themselves. they have a motive and while i understand hatred towards soul society. yhwach’s motives were the worst out of all the villains. i cannot fathom what motivates him because it went fucking everywhere. did he have beef with ss? was he waging war out of self preservation? did he want to end death? like the narrative hints at all of these but it just feels like a mess of a character! i never liked yhwach to begin with since his very concept is awful (seriously? giving a previously thought group of people who experienced genocide a nazi motif? what the fuck kubo). hes a villain but theres no substance. his powers could have been cool but it was on the point of needing a deus ex machina to take him down.

and the fights are forgettable with the occasional good ones (shunsui v that one fuck, rukia v that other fuck) but there are some bad fights (askin v yoruichi, the quincy thor guy). there are some good moments, like all the bankai reveals, it adds more to the characters but it also causes so much jumping around in the plot and this is what happens when u have this many characters and some will be forgotten (so sorry chad). it sucks. some of the fights dragged on longer than necessary and it was just. so much. all of these issues really downgraded the arc and thats what made it the mess it was.

and a lot of the ideas brought in to tybw are criminally underused. ichigo being a quincy may have been wack but i did like the idea but it really only had some sparse moments like masaki and zangetsu development, creating a connection between ichigo and yhwach but that was really it. it was not like his hollow powers which coexisted with the plot and had huge moments and was just a constant presence. you could forget that ichigo was a quincy tbh and we needed more quincy moments. and the soul king was horribly underused because it did have set up from the arrancar arc, it was aizens entire goal! but kubo never really explores the ideas of the soul king and only in cfyow do we really get more info about it and thats no good because the soul king is a vital piece of bleach lore and worldbuilding.

anyways thats my two cents sorry this was rlly long

[bigskydreaming]

Tbh, I really dislike the emphasis of Dick’s importance to the DCU and the various people in his life, like....so often coming back to his ‘innate goodness.’ Because while on the surface, of course that’s a positive thing, I consider it such a double-edged sword, narratively speaking.

I harp on a lot about how I think its not really that productive to label people good or bad rather than specific actions....because it shifts the focus away from the actual action or behavior that caused harm, to the person itself, and again....there’s not a lot that can productively result from that. (Now, when you’re not trying for or expecting anything productive to result one way or another, that’s a different matter).

And the thing is, I personally have just as much of a problem with people being just labeled ‘a good person’ as a bad one, because like....to me, it just devalues choice. Free will. The effort that goes into being a good person, by virtue of trying to do the right thing, do good, day after day after day, because that is not easy.

Like, I dislike “oh he’s such a good person” just pretty much in regards to anything, real life or fiction-related, because again....it shifts the focus away from the deed. It lessons the acknowledgment that whatever they just did to earn that label from someone like....it didn’t happen just because a good person did it, ergo of course it was a good thing. It happened because a person who had an endless variety of choices in front of them, chose, with intent, to do good. No matter what it might have cost them.

And when we’re talking about fictional characters, I have an additional gripe with that, because like....because fictional characters can only ever do what they’re written doing, rather than actually make choices of their own.....narratively speaking, it becomes a trap.

Because that “he’s a good person” inevitably carries with it the weight of expectation. And if Dick, for example, is just so fundamentally seen as a good person...then by extension, everything he does must be good, or at least not that bad - which is NOT a good take to ever have. Like as a huge fan myself, I still never want to catch myself arguing that something that done by anyone else I would say “that’s fucked up,” like, can’t be that bad when its done by a “good” person....like, no. That’s not how that works. And shouldn’t be.

But then on top of that, there additionally comes the double-edged sword that like....because he’s fundamentally a good person, anything ‘bad’ he does, that’s called out or held up or looked at as actually being bad.....is immediately either OOC.....or if its still considered valid characterization....then the inevitable takeaway is that Dick didn’t just do something ‘bad’.....he also like....on top of that he let people down by not living up to being ‘a good person’ who isn’t supposed to be capable of doing shit like that.

And I truly do think this plays into a lot of the reception he gets both in narratives and in fandom reactions to those narratives. There’s this almost tangible weight of disappointment anytime Dick does something that even is just....less than ideal.....because the expectation of being so innately a good person means that he always, always has so much further to fall than anyone else, in most peoples’ eyes. Its the whole feet of clay thing.

Nobody can ever be perfect. Nobody can ever be one hundred percent good, one hundred percent of the time. Yet time after time, its the characters who are deemed most ‘innately good’ in various franchises.....that people tend to seem to be disappointed in the most often.

Like, of course that’s what happens! Because those kinds of expectations are impossible to meet...especially so long as that character is still flawed. Which is literally the flip side of all of this, the ever-present expectation people have for that to be true as well. Because otherwise a character is ‘too perfect’ and thus impossible to truly relate to.

So, even though it sounds like a good thing - “Dick Grayson is so beloved and so important because he’s just inherently a good person”....IMO, the second that starts getting taken at face value, it creates a trap wherein he’s doomed to disappoint.

Because anything he does wrong from that point on, anything he’s written doing wrong, isn’t just him doing something wrong....its him being Dick Grayson wrong. He’s not living up to what readers expect and have internalized ‘being Dick Grayson’ to mean.

And to me, that’s just inherently self-defeating, because how can you explore a character’s humanity if you’ve already laid out from the get go the expectation that he isn’t truly allowed to ever express.....a good half of the emotions, behaviors and mindsets that are simply a part of being human? 

All the negative stuff....y’know, the stuff we constantly hear criticized as being his flaws, when with other characters, they’re simply...part of their characterization? His anger....(even when he has cause to be angry). His resentment....(even when he has cause to be resentful). His secluding himself and avoiding his own loved ones...(even when they’re the ones hurting him).

And we see this play out in the actual comics and fanfic storylines themselves as well. Look at how Bruce reacted when Dick killed the Joker in Last Laugh.....was that just his inability to process his son breaking his own personal golden rule? Or how much of that was just....Bruce unable to process this particular son doing something that ‘wasn’t innately good?’ 

How much of Tim’s canon and fanon reaction to Dick’s decision about Robin is actually warranted, versus how much of it is amplified by the ‘disappointment’ of Dick Grayson having done the unthinkable....done something that hurt Tim, something Tim never thought possible, because Dick Grayson is supposed to be too good to ever have to worry about hurting him in any way too? 

How much of the fanon about Dick being an asshole to Jason at first, or avoiding him or neglecting to spend time with him....is really just ‘the absence’ of Dick being seen on the page at the time, going above and beyond with Jason, the way he normally goes above and beyond with everyone who needs him, and thus.....when he’s not seen behaving as expected, invariably the only explanation must be because well, obviously he hated Jason, otherwise he would have spent just as much time with him as we saw him spend with Tim.

And so on, and so on. It creates this paradigm where the second Dick does anything that comes from a place of bitterness or hurt or anger or jealousy, the second he makes the less than noble choice, takes the less than ideal route, he’s.....somehow....let his family and friends and readers all down just by virtue of doing something so human rather than just so good. Regardless of whatever that thing actually even was, and how bad or not it might have been, just weighed by itself.

*Shrugs* Anyway. Obviously just my two cents, make of it what you will, take what works for you and throw away the rest, I’m just saying.....personally, I think there’s a lot more to appreciate about Dick and his character and storylines when you stop unconsciously measuring all those things against some impossible standard of ‘innate goodness’, and just.....look at his specific narrative choices, actions, stories, and evaluate them on their own merits, decide if they’re ‘good’ or not regardless of it having been Dick who enacted them.

[marlbros]

⋆*       ❪         ⛓️         ❫       ⤻       crashes  through  a  brick  wall  like  the  kool - aid  man  hi  i’m  paige  &  i’m  here  to  present  you  with  neels ,  who  is  a  piece  of  coal  put  under  a  lot  of  pressure  but  instead  of  a  diamond  he  just  turned  into  cubic  zirconium .  if  this  appeals  to  u ,  drop  a  like  &  i’ll  come  collect . 

ʻ   /   let  me  introduce  you  to  a  prized  member  of  our   student government   ,   cornelius  ‘ neels ’ rockefeller .  this   cis male virgo   has  been  a  student  at  our  institution for   seven years  and  is  currently  a  21 year old   junior .   through  the  halls ,   he  has   always  reminded  me  of   timothée chalamet  ,   but  there  is  always  more  than  meets  the  eye ,   like  the  fact  that  both of his parents are having affairs and he’s the only one who knows .  coral  cape  has  made  their  future  just  as  bright  as  their  smile ,   i  assure  you .  ʼ

basics

→  name   cornelius  andrew  rockefeller →  nicknames  neels →  age  /  d.o.b.   twenty  one ,   23rd  august  1998 →  gender  /  pronouns   cis  male  /  he  &  him →  dominant  hand   left

lifestyle

→ born   new  york  city ,   new  york ,  usa → current residence  portland ,   maine ,  usa → spoken languages  english → major  finance → clubs  student  government ,  golf  team → drink / smoke / drugs  yes  /  like  an  absolute  chimney  /  rarely

character

→ moral alignment  true  neutral → mbti istj - t → zodiac virgo → tarot card seven  of  cups → archetype  the  achiever

more

first  born  son  of  his  half  of  the  rockefeller  clan ,  it’s  never  been  a  secret  that  neels  was  favoured  by  his  father .  though  only  minutes  older  than  his  twin  sister  arden ,  the   amount   of   pressure  put   on   his  shoulders   by  their  paternal  figure  was   enough   to   turn   him   into   a   fine   dust  .  it   was   never   difficult   for  neels  to   get   what   he   wanted   from   his  dad  ,  as   the   golden   boy  /  prodigal   son  .  but   best   believe   that   every   joy   ride   he   ever   took   in   the   mercedes   &   every   cent   he   ever   spent   of   his  father’s   money   was   earned .              ⤻     the  eldest  rockefeller  man  was  very  straight - forward  about  his  expectations  for  neels  —-  attend  cape  coral ,  study  finance ,  and  follow  directly  in  his  illustrious  footsteps .  for  now ,  neels  is  still  walking  that  unforgiving  tightrope . 

basically  neels  is  not  #smart ,  but  the  amount  of  effort  he  always  put  into  school  was  borderline obscene .  he  started  building  his  educational  resume   the   first  day  of  his  freshman  year ,  morphing  himself  into  a  real  future  leaders  of  america  type  and  sidelining  any  and  all  unrelated  interests .  he’s  very  dedicated  to  his  own  success ,  because  he’s  always   wanted  to  do  well  without  his  family’s  connections .            ⤻     literally  the  only  subject  he’s  never  had  to  bust  his  ass  at  is  math .  the  man’s  a  math  guru ,  esp  when  it  comes  to  money  math .  money  makes  the  world  go  ‘round ,  and  neels  learned  that  from  a  young  age .  his  affinity  for  finance  is  essentially  what’s  keeping  his  relationship  with  his  father  afloat ,  and  you  can  catch  him  doing  everybody’s  taxes  come  filing  season .

my  man  cornelius  is  all  about  the  emotional  extremes .  he  feels  everything  very  deeply ,  no  matter  how  much  he  wishes  he  didn’t  .  he  has  a  terrible ,  terrible  hair - trigger  temper ,  one  that  can  be  set  off  by  the  drop  of  a  hat  .  it  doesn’t  show  its  face  very  often ,  but  it  doesn’t  help  that  he’s  lowkey  kind  of  a  spoiled  brat  lmao .  on  the  other  side  of  the  coin ,  he’s  a  very  caring  individual  that  wants  the  best  for  the  people  he  loves , and is the worst kind of free falling hopeless romantic . he's in love with at least 4 people at all times .            ⤻     he  has  a  tendency  to  push  away  the  people  that  are  good  for  him  and  attract  the  people  that  might  hurt  him .  his  usual  m.o.  is  finding  the  tiniest  thing  he  doesn’t  like  about  somebody  and  using  that  as  an  excuse  to  cut  them  off .  mans  can’t  keep  a  friend  or  a  lover  to  save  his  gd  life .  the  only  people  he’s  had  as  constants  in  his  life  are  his  twin  sister  and  the  rest  of  his  family .

he’s  currently  the  only  member  of  his  family  that  knows  that  both  his  mother  and  his  father  are  having  separate  affairs .  he’s  known  about  his  father’s  for  a  few  months  after  seeing  some  incriminating  text  messages  while  they  were  out  to  lunch ,  but  his  mother’s  is  a  new  discovery .  he  hasn’t  told  either  of  his  siblings ,  mostly  because  he  wants  to  protect  them  from  such  a  shitty  piece  of  information  lol .  he’s  a  steel  trap ,  though  tbh  his  parents  don’t  deserve  his  secrecy . 

quick fun facts

        ⤻     my   man   loves   a   good   suit  .  he’s  been  rocking  slacks  and  trousers  since  he  was  twelve ,  he  loves  a  good  designer  piece ,  and  if  you  see  him  wearing  jeans ,  something  is  terribly  wrong .  like  seriously  amiss . 

       ⤻     he  chain  smokes   like   fuck  .  only  marlboro  reds  ‘cause  he  likes  the  way  they  hurt  the  back  of  his  throat . 

      ⤻     he’s  obsessed  with  basketball  .  his  favourite  team  is  the  knicks ,  he  knows  everything  about  them  including  all  the  players’  stats  and  the  two  years  they’ve  won  the  nba  championship .  can  he  play  basketball ?  fuck  no .  but  he  still  loves  the  game  lol . 

     ⤻     he’s  a  music  hoe  .  neels  rockefeller  will  only  listen  to  one  band ,  and  that  band  is  fleetwood  mac .  i hate  him .  not  only  will  he  only  listen  to  them ,  but  he’ll  also  only  listen  to  them  on  vinyl .  he’s  disgusting . 

    ⤻     wine  mom  alert  .  this  boy  loves  a  good  red .  he  loves  a  dry  chardy  in  the  afternoon ,  and  a  spicy  merlot  in  the  evening .  hand  him  a  wine  spritzer  and  maybe  he’ll  stop  being  so  fuckin  moody . 

wanted connections

   ⤻     the  one  friend  he  managed  to  keep  .  he’s  shit  at  maintaining  relationships ,  but  for  one  reason  or  another ,  this  person  decided  to  stick  around .  he  appreciates  them  big  time ,  but  he’ll  never  admit  to  it ,  so  don’t  hold  ur  breath . 

  ⤻     exes  .  ex - lovers  or  ex - friends ,  he’s  rolling  in  them .  the  worst  at  being  a  good  friend  or  boyfriend .  the  worst .  very  stand - offish ,  never  shares  his  feelings .  i  truly  feel  bad  for  anyone  ever  involved  with  him . 

 ⤻     bad  influence  .  listen ,  i  don’t  even  wanna  say  that  they’re  a  bad  influence ,  they’re  just  somebody  who  can  manage  to  get  him  to  pull  the  stick  out  of  his  ass  for  a  second  and  have  fun .  must  be  willing  to  hear  about  the  knicks  and / or  fleetwood  mac  if  u  intend  to  give  him  alcohol . 

⤻     studdy buddies  .  he  needs  #help .  though  he’s  majoring  in  finance  and  math  is  his  strong  suit ,  he  struggles  with  virtually  everything  else .  someone  aid  him  lol . 

⤻     gossip queens  .   these  two  get  together  and  tell  secrets  over  white  wine  and  neels  gives  them  unsolicited   fashion  advice  in  a  dry  voice  lmao  .   he  loves  a  good  juicy  piece  of  gossip ,  much  to  his  dismay  —-  so  this  person  is  likely  semi - important  to  him  . 

⤻     the  crush  .   listen  he’s  not  made  of  stone .  in  fact ,  he’s  actually  very  mushy  on  the  inside  and  he  does  fall  for  people  even  if  it’s  only  momentarily  lol . 

⤻     literally  anything  else ,  please  hit  me  up  .  

[bitchsexuality]

@animaliae

ok first off i’m sorry i took so long to reply!! i’ve been busy in the most tedious way possible so my brain’s not exactly my best friend right now. second off: THANK U SO MUCH these were so fun to answer!!

i’m putting all of these in the same post because i started talking and i could not Shut The Up, and i think one atrociously long post is better than four long posts when it comes to like, scrollability. scrollpastability? scroll-Something. and putting it under a readmore too for the same reasons

SO, from top to bottom:

weirdest character idea for D-N-D:

it’s an idea i’ve already had because i can’t come up with anything right now dksjfgbd, but

once i made a druid for a D//N/D-based CRPG who only cast spells when they gave him something edible (in theory ofc, the game didn’t let me eat my summoned bears... thankfully...), so i ended up with nothing but goodberries and several animal summoning spells. then i proceeded to cheat my way through the game, which defeated the point sdfgsd, but it was still fun concept-wise

also made me spend too much time wondering if the entangle spell’s vines could be eaten. i mean you can’t eat the WHOLE thing but maybe you could like, munch on it a little, or try to slurp it up like a noodle. it wouldn’t be tasty, it wouldn’t be easy, and it most definitely would not be healthy, but it’s like. the principle of the thing 

if ur asking yourself WHY i did that… well there aren’t THAT many D/ND-based CRPGS out there and i’d already played that one —several times, in fact— so i wanted to try something different :0

i mean it’s not THAT weird tbh, but he’s the only OC i can think of right now that soooooort of fits? and my brain is like, a tundra of creativity at the moment. a deep tar pool that absorbs all inspiration and drags it, kicking and screaming, to its viscous doom. well you get the idea. or i hope you do because i sure fucking don’t

ideal ending for one of my characters:

hmmmm for like, original fiction characters i more or less have all their endings planned out? most of them ARE ideal because i am fully in control of their destinies and i am also a softhearted lidle bich who prefers stories with relatively uplifting/happy endings. or tbh even the ones that aren’t technically happy are still ideal in terms of character arcs, development, etc

(i might be giving myself way too much credit there though skdjgbdksjfg)

and —though this is super unlikely and mostly just me deceiving myself at this point— i do want to publish what i’m working on rn, so talking about endings would be a spoiler for something that does not exist and probably never will outside of my idiot fool head. so i’m gonna talk about an old OC that i’m not doing anything with anymore!

her name was elina and her entire deal was that she came from a family of very powerful witches who owned a, uh, i guess you could call it an archive? or a library?? idk, it was just an ABSURDLY large collection of magic-related books, and it pretty much contained all known arcane knowledge (though come think of it, “all known arcane knowledge” can’t have been THAT much because the archive was just one room. a huge fucking monster of a room yeah but like. still just One)

so anyway, her family members were very dutiful + responsible when it came to the archivelibraryroom thing, but they were also too traditional for her tastes? like they didn’t bother practicing/using magic, or experimenting, or looking for anything outside of books; they only cared about written things, and even then they did nothing but get the Very Important Books, put them in the archivelibraryroom and forget about them completely

then elina ran into a group of other magic-users who were investigating a weird phenomenon in her hometown, and she asked her family about it, but they essentially were like “oh if it doesn’t affect the books we don’t care lol anyway it’s your turn to clean the archivelibrary now”

but yeah i’m sure y’all can tell where this is going kjdfgbd elina was the typical YA protag in that she was super rebellious, so she turned her back on her family and left her house to help the group of inconveniently yet stereotypically teenage magic-users, made friends, learned about magic, blah blah blah

the issue is that i never gave that story an ending? like the closest thing to it was a vague “uhhhh elina goes back home to find the archivelibrary is burning down and pulls some kind of mysterious water magic out of her ass to save it; then her family apologizes, they begin to respect her and she stays with them to keep caring for the archivelibrary, But With A Progressive Twist”

the issue was that after writing around two chapters i realized i didn’t actually Have a plot, so i didn’t know what story that ending would be... ending... and since i couldn’t think of anything + i wasn’t THAT attached to the characters anyway i just gave up on it

but now that i’m thinking of it again, just for the sake of ending the Story That Never Was, i feel like making her earn the respect of her family just because she saved the books + proved she actually cares about that too is, idk, shallow? out of character? 

because she believed that her family’s fixation on history + Neatly Documented stuff was holding them back and making things worse for everyone. she left her home behind because her ideals re.: magic —that it should grow and change to fit the context + people’s needs, and not the other way around— were so strong

OOF THIS IS GETTING SO FUCKING LONG KSDJGB i’m just gonna stop here and say: elina’s new ideal ending is pretty much that while she ends up in friendly terms with her family —because, in spite of their fundamental disagreements, they never hurt her— she doesn’t go back home and chooses to travel around the world instead, helping people in whichever way possible and freely sharing her knowledge with anyone who’s willing to listen and, at the same time, learning from them

i mean, the concept’s not too original ksjdbg just something i thought of super quick, and that’s just a half-assed attempt at closure for an OC i made when i was like… 9

headcanons about my favs:

ok this one’s hard because i’m not into any like… fandom things right now? i haven’t found anything that rly interests me or that i could see myself being passionate about, which sucks because i do kinda miss being into stuff with Established Content :( 

so i’ve been focusing on my OCs + original stories and such. and i’m not sure if OC headcanons count as headcanons because i control canon so technically everything i come up with IS canon. then again it’s headcanon too because it’s a canon from my head because that’s where ideas come from. okay wait i’m not making any cents here x 

but uhh knowing me i might think of something right after publishing this, so if that happens i’ll come back and edit this post :0

also just saying but if any of y’all know of something i could get into then lmk, i’m open to suggestions! preferably free stuff though... i’m beset by capitalisms

a favorite scene that i loved:

i can’t remember any in particular right now, either from my #content or somebody else’s SDFKJGBDF god my mind 😔 well i mean i’m gonna be a little bit full of meself and say that i’ve written things that i really like, especially imagery-wise, but i Also want to publish those someday… like i’ve also written original/OC-related stuff that i don’t plan on publishing, but i’m not THAT proud of them tbh :/

i was —emphasis on was— trying to write a short story about jasna (one of my D-N/D OCs, a cleric of oghma) that never really went anywhere, but i did post a snippet on my OC blog, and that’s what i hate the least out of all my recent attempts at writing? so i’m just gonna put it here again ig sdfgs (not actually linking to the OC blog post because it’s kind of a mess rn, i need to fix the theme + clean it up a bit)

if you got this far and read all of this nonsensical verbal monster: i love u with all my heart and i would legitimately die for u.

[changji]

Here we go I’m finally continuing our convo from like,, last week LOL but anyway 4-5k for an apartment I’m HOLLERING (yes i did it so you’d laugh) I’ve never lived in an apartment before but I’m pretty sure that’s really expensive for one sksks. Also personal chromebooks? My school literally can’t relate we share them with the rest of the students in the school. Tbh I don’t remember much from twilight so I’ll agree w you so that we don’t fight 🥺🥺

I normally go ham when I’m in a pool,, like I’ll start off w my hair up bc I don’t wanna get it wet but when I leave the pool everywhere is soaked. I haven’t played chicken in years?? Oml last time I played I was on my cousins shoulders and I was Puny. Haha most ppl are like “it can’t be that cold here right” and I’m “oh no it gets COLD” which I hate (but it’s colder in the territories so I’m thankful for where I’m at)

I’d rather it be hotter than colder bc at least there’s ac. I mean there’s heat but at least I can still walk outside without snow and ice everywhere. Don’t even get me started on freezing rain and winter tires and shovelling snow and OEUFIHD as you can see I hate the winter here. Tim hortons is so good I literally inhale iced capps 24/7. They’re pretty much blended frozen coffee but it tastes a lot better than it sounds!! I like to think of it as the Canadian pride and joy

I’ve actually never had timmies canned coffee… i’ve had the keurig pods things but they don’t taste as good as getting them from an actual timmies. But hey you never know maybe we will drink from ice bergs one day LOL. I’ll never back out from being your soulmate we’re literally meant To Be 😤😤 iced blonde vanilla lattes are so Good I’d probably inhale them as much as I do with iced capps if they weren’t so expensive

I didn’t even know that milk was a good portion of the drink,, when I saw a starbucks barista fill my cup with 80% milk I was like “hold up what” Your smoothies must be really good if your family specifically wake you up so that you can make them some hhh baker arella? More like smoothie expert arella. i usually make smoothies with whatever works and is in my fridge, but mango will always have my heart

People who eat pancakes plain should be banned from the world that’s disgusting,, you’re literally eating cooked flour,,,,,, I actually haven’t had waffles in 4 years oopsFrench is a mandatory course in grade 9 where I live but then after that you can choose if you wanna continue it or not. ASL classes seem so cool, I would totally take it if it were an option here. German & Japanese seem so hard; I look at the words and here ppl speaking it and I’m like ??? woah okay what’s happening

I’m terrible at English too, but then again I suck at every language? Is that even possible?? Jisung’s literally talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular skskdkf I am a Chan stan but Jisung wrecks me SO hard I can’t with this man. Pls don’t hurt my head too much with the fic I only have one braincell left bit ilyt 🥺 now I wanna try peet’s but I’m probably not going to the US for a hot minute 😔😔

(AJSDHJF I HIT THE LIMIT OF ASKS IM CRYINF) I saw what happened with ur Jisung drawing and I feel your frustration?? I was drawing a photo for an English presentation on photoshop and instead of closing my reference photo tab I closed the drawing (and i didn’t save it beforehand) so I lost the entire thing. Just thinking about it again makes me So Mad like,, how dumb can I be I literally can’t believe I did that!!

School sucks the life outta me I’m dreading going back and school starts in a little over a month? Fav vampire fic PLS I’m honoured. We fr out here as coffee soulmates look at us go 🤧👊

-

it’s so expensive like. whomst. I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY HOLLERING ITS SO FUNNY (ur so cute ily). living in an apartment is just Constant Stress esp bc i always accidentally slam a door open and make a hole in the wall and we have to pay but like i never learn LOL. the chrome books suck tho 😪 i would never fight w u LOL but i love twilight hhhh

today i just learned what “go ham” means like. i never knew. idk if i’m uncultured or ur weird (BUT ACCORDING TO CHAN WEIRS IS GOOD AND HES RIGHT.) i hate swimming sksks i burn easily and im Not here for it. i see why u would prefer the heat esp w snow, but i don’t have snow so i like winter LOL. i feel like i would die if i had to shovel snow like. i tried gardening and i gave up in .2 seconds. it was tough.

ooh an ice capp is like a frappuccino? i used to love them but they became too sweet. i believe in lattes and lattes only. keurig never tastes as good as the OG, i’ve had starbucks, dunkins, and peet’s keurig cups but it’ll never live up 😪 u r my soulmate and i snatched u, u can’t leave even if u wanted. period. LATTES ARE EXPENSIVE like. i pay $6.70 or smth like that bc of the vanilla flavoring and the extra shots. makes me wanna yeet myself off a bridge but there aren’t lattes in hell.

RIGHT omg the first time i saw them make it i was like. where r u giving me a cup of MILK but it tastes good so it’s okay. my stomach has not been cooperating and hurts whenever i get normal milk so i have to ask for almond and pay an extra 25 cents. like damn i $7 for a cup of coffee. but it’s okay it’s still good 🤧

& SMOOTHIE MASTER ARELLA HHHH my family is also Lazy like. it’s not hard to make a smoothie u FOOLS but i mean ig. they’ll just be hoes and force me to make them 😤 but it’s fine bc when i make the smoothies i’m let off of washing dishes 🤪

if u eat a pancake plain ur wrong on so many levels. it’s so painful to see. like. WHY. and cooked flour,,,, ada ur so funny omg waffles are so good like. it’s crispy but pancakes get soggy and it’s Gross. not here for it

i suck @ all languages too like grammar who? i only know keyboard smashes and incoherent screams. jisung is amazing and i love him w my whole soul. he’s such a good wrecker like whY are u so perfect?? i was bin biased but jisung came and made me double biased 🤧 i’m unloyal.

i don’t believe in no brain cells i believe in broken hearts and that’s what this fic is going for. angst angst and angst. i’ll send u peet’s and u send me tim hortons i look forward to gross and melted coffee 🤪

WLSKKSSK TUMBLR RLY OUT HERE UR SO CUTE AHHH i screamed for a good 5 minutes. i’m still upset. like. why did i do this to myself arella u big dumb. omg and did u save urself for the presentation? it’s worse for u bc like. it’s for school 😔 we can be dumb hoes together it’s okay

OVER A MONTH WHEN DO U START i have 2 weeks and a half. 3 weeks? i start on a thursday which is weird but Go Off. i’m gonna drop a class i’m not up for 7 classes esp w an AP and 3 honors 🤧 why did i take those classes i’m actually an idiot hhhhh

i stan ada and ada only (jk binsung but yk what they don’t count) stan TALENT my coffee soulmate ily

[autumnimagining]

Bandcamp is the best place to buy music these days, hands down. Unless I am very much mistaken (which I guess I would be happy to be in this instance!), it's the only place that does it like that in the music scene at the moment, and it's so so so so good for artists.

On top of everything mentioned above, they also occasionally do events like Bandcamp Fridays where they will waive their cut of profits and allow all, yes all profits to go directly to the artists. This is a fucking miracle compared to what Spotify does. They have also done events for Juneteenth and on behalf of the ACLU where Bandcamp's cut goes to charities.

Spotify is really not that great for musicians. The figures a given artist will get for a stream apparently changes depending on where the streamer lives (which seems... sus to me) but a given stream nets a given artist about $0.003 - $0.005.

That's not even a whole penny or cent. That's half a cent. Per stream. One song, which can take up to a year or more to compose and record, is only worth half a cent. Less than.

If I want to buy the album Optimisme by Malian rockers Songhoy Blues, I can pay £7 on Bandcamp. Interestingly, I can also pay more than that if I really, really like the album. Can't pay less, but I could pay £10. Or even £100 if I really wanted to.

To give them £7 through Spotify I have to listen to one song roughly 1600 times.

That ain't happening. I like the music of Songhoy Blues, but i'm not going to stream one song 1600 times in quick succession. I'd rather just give them the £7 once. They'll be better off for it - Bandcamp doesn't take nearly as much as Spotify, so Songhoy Blues will probably make something closer to £6, whereas Spotify takes 30% of royalties (in this case leaving Songhoy Blues with £4.90 before their label takes their cut).

I guess (I don't actually know, if i'm wrong please correct me!) Spotify's model is based on the idea that maybe 1600 or more people will listen to one song in a day, so Songhoy Blues would make their £7 in that one day. A lovely idea, but not guaranteed. Especially given that Spotify's algorithm tends to give listeners similar music to what they already listen to so, unless you're someone with a wide-ranging taste in music, chances are you aren't likely to come across Songhoy Blues unless you already like bands that make similar music like Tinariwen (whose music, tbh, slaps).

Bandcamp doesn't have an algorithm. Bandcamp isn't a streaming service. It's a marketplace. It's a web-shop. Most albums that are on there, the artist can set it so that you can try the music out a few times before you buy it, but you really are encouraged to buy the album. Bandcamp also does its Bandcamp Daily articles and features, where they dig up old and forgotten albums that might have never again seen the light of day, or highlight the scene in a given country (like Mexican psychedelia, or French black metal, or Australian R&B) to showcase the incredible variety of music the world has to offer.

Spotify could never. I'm not saying they don't have some good stuff - the Sahara playlist is one on which you can find both Songhoy Blues and Tinariwen and is one I come back to a lot at the moment - and the Similar Artists tab has helped me find some interesting artists. But they're not doing it on the same level as Bandcamp.

if you don’t use bandcamp, i’d really encourage you to spend some time there. there’s millions of artists on there putting out great material, a lot of which never even makes 1 sale, or breaks 10 plays

if you’re new to the site, the front page is a good place to start. you can pick a genre and scroll thru it. by default it puts popular stuff up front, but i’d suggest looking at new releases

most albums have a “music you’ll also love” section at the bottom of the page, so you can start from one thing and go down a rabbit hole. you can find whole scenes this way

or look at the genre tags that don’t show up on the front page! find a sub-subgenre and explore something you’ve definitely never heard before. what’s furrycore? dreamcore? post-hyperpop? progressive extreme metal? melodic juke?

bandcamp also tags music by location. what are ppl in your city making?

going out of your way to find new music can make an artist’s day, or turn you on to something you wouldn’t normally go for. think about it

[radiojamming]

Are you open for requests? Sorry to bug ya if you're not. I find the lack of love for John funny so here is my 2 cents. Deputy and John havin a moment, probs sittin on the front porch of an abandoned countryside home or on one of those little porch swings, watchin the fireflies while talking shit about life/past? Probably end up with mutual quietness, arguing, or that rotted, weathered porch step/porch swing giving out underneath both of their asses and sending them sprawling like dummkopfs tbh.

dummkopf activate! (and omg this prompt is gr8) i’m also using the ages given in absolution, since they make more sense. i like the idea of the seed brothers being way closer in age.

also catch me dodging the ‘how did they get here/when did this happen’ point like a professional. 

- - -

Summer was fading in the Whitetails, only appearing when the sun poured golden light through the ridges and trees, before giving way to fall in the blue shadows. The last few warm evenings were clinging to the season like trembling leaves on a branch. 

Rook was almost loathe to admit that they were enjoying their evening; it was the deep blue kind that turned pine trees black and made mists rise under their boughs. Fireflies flitted through the woods and hovered above the piles of rotten leaves and toppled logs, appearing to dance like golden constellations in flight. Idly, they sipped at their beer (some hipster-label IPA they found in the back of a gas station cooler) and used the heel of their boot to give a little extra push to the porch swing, causing it to creak mournfully on its rusted hooks. 

The part they should have loathed was that John Seed was their sole company. He took up the other end of the swing with a casual stretch of limbs, his legs stretched out and knees bending with the rhythm of the swing’s movements, an identical beer loosely held in one hand. His eyes were half-lidded, watching the fireflies with hazy interest. 

Fate or stupidity (or some combination of the two) had led up to that moment, but Rook wasn’t partial to dwelling on it any more than they had to. What mattered more was that John wasn’t howling mad or doing anything John-like. He almost came across like a regular person, relaxed and slightly buzzed off cheap, watery beer, enjoying one of the last hurrahs of summer with the air of a man on vacation. Once in awhile, he’d roll Rook a look like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for them to pull a pistol on him and finish things up neatly with a nice little bow on top for emphasis. And every time, he was met with them looking back at him with the same sort of summer-induced sleepiness. No man’s land was the term that came to mind, like the porch swing was a no-combat zone, for reasons beyond either of them. Maybe there was a little residual Bliss in the air.

Rook barely registered the soft hiss of a mosquito hitting the buzzing lamp beside them, but the sound seemed to induce something in John’s head, earning a soft, short laugh from him. When Rook looked at him in curiosity, he shrugged with a crooked smile.

“At my foster parents’ house–the first one–we had one of those lamps on the porch, and I used to count every time a mosquito ran into it. One of the farmhands even had one of those stupid tennis racket types, and I was allowed to take it and, I don’t know, declare war on them or something.” 

He talked about his past so sparingly, only allowing bits to come through when they were painful enough to relate to on a torture basis. It was strange to hear outside of that context, especially when it showed a little bit of what life was like for him and his brothers.

Then, he cleared his throat and his smile dropped slowly. “I don’t know why I brought that up,” he said, sounding like he was scolding himself for it. 

Rook indulged him with a smile over the top of their bottle before they took a sip from it. “It’s fine. I kind of like hearing about it,” they replied. It was honest, though. The moments where John seemed like a well-adjusted human being seemed few and far between, especially when his particular brand of mania kicked in. 

The smile that returned to his face came back faded; a secondhand, overwashed kind of smile. “You wouldn’t like to hear all of it, Deputy,” John said, his voice catching on each syllable in a sardonic downward descent. “Most of it isn’t pleasant.”

“I figured,” Rook replied, nudging the porch swing a little more. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s cool.”

They fell back into silence, but were surrounded by all the soft sounds of a dying summer; a symphony of crickets in the ferns, the gentle creak of old floorboards and rusty hinges, a night bird trilling in the pines. Then, John sipped his beer, cleared his throat, and kept his gaze steady on a pair of fireflies turning flickering spirals around each other. 

“You might not believe it, given your… rigid position on your opinions,” he said with all the measured carefulness that Rook was sure he learned as a lawyer. “But if I have to consider any memories you’d call ‘happy’, they’re all ones I have with my brothers.”

“I can believe it,” Rook replied. And they could; it wasn’t as if Joseph and Jacob Seed had been children fascinated with the idea of a murderous religious cult in the mountains of Montana. They were kids once. They must have done things that kids do, regardless of the nightmares brewing around them. John was no different.

John nodded, the drowsy expression coming back over him like a misty veil. “Jacob used to be the only one with a bike, and it had those pegs on it–” His brow furrowed, searching for the word. Then, he shrugged. “I don’t know. The ones you stand on. You know what I mean.”

Rook smiled behind the neck of their bottle and nodded.

“Sometimes he would let Joseph ride it, and I’d always get to stand on the pegs. Sometimes we could manage to get all three of us on the bike at once, which was probably really stupid. I’m surprised we didn’t fall off more.” He laughed softly, although it wasn’t much more than a soft sigh with a smile curled around it. Honestly, it was like talking to another person entirely, like Rook had been given a pass to see what John could have been like, before– 

Rook didn’t dwell on it. That was for a time and place that wasn’t then and there.

“There was a scrapyard about a mile and a half from our house that we used to ride to. No one ever supervised it, so we would just climb around like it was a playground. Everything was rusted and crumbling, but we didn’t actually know what tetanus was, so it didn’t matter. And there was this huge steel coil that had probably been there fifty years, and I’d hide in the middle of it, because kids don’t get killed like that or anything,” John said. The laugh that came after that was stronger, more authentic. “We each had a spot, actually. Joseph liked this steel girder that hung about six feet above the ground. He’d sit on the edge and watch us all the time. And Jacob’s was an old Volkswagen that he’d pretend to drive. Sometimes Joseph and I would get in the backseat and Jacob would say we were driving to Maine or Texas or wherever. We didn’t have family vacations, so that was about as close as we could get.”

His voice sounded so unguarded, and his expression matched suit. Nostalgia softened the cold, hardened edges of his face, making him look boyish, bringing warmth back into his eyes. As the evening turned deep ink-blue around them, he seemed to blend into it like he was part of the scenery.

Then, Rook watched him stiffen a bit, his shoulders rising as he let out a soft sigh through his nose. “That was a long time ago, though,” he said, like he was releasing that particular memory out into the wild. “I haven’t had many chances to make memories like that.”

Whatever terse, cold thing he meant to say next was interrupted by an odd, heavy creak from somewhere above their heads. There was a low cracking sound, and only a split second where Rook and John looked at each other before John’s end of the porch swing suddenly gave way, dumping both of them onto the rotten floorboards. All Rook registered was John’s yelp of surprise before they fell onto him, colliding hip to hip in a way that would certainly hurt in the morning. 

The only thing John had a chance to do was put out his other arm to keep Rook from rolling off the porch entirely, effectively locking the two of them in a half hug. Soaked in cheap beer and already aching, they looked at each other for a long moment before Rook broke up into hysterical laughter. It only took a moment before John followed suit, only to look at his other hand, holding his beer aloft, still half full. Rook followed his line of site before completely losing it, their forehead pressed against John’s shoulder as they laughed so hard that tears formed in their eyes.

“Oh thank God,” they said. “You saved the only thing that mattered.”

“My atonement paid off,” John affirmed with perfect solemnity, only for both of them to burst out laughing again. 

Tomorrow could have brought them to blows again, back on their cat and mouse chase through Hope County. But at that moment, if it were all to fall on a case of John making something like a good memory again, Rook figured it wasn’t a half bad start.