#actually feel so sick about noa

[coinflict]

I feel like throwing up it's never gonna get better

[rekino2114]

Fem!kaiser and fem!ness with a cold reader

A/n:I've decided that I'm gonna do a blue lock post basically every week (or just when I feel like it) because again it's my current obsession. I wrote this because I am currently freezing to death (when am I not?) And i didn't feel like doing a request (the next bllk posts will probably be requests though) I chose kaiser and ness because i assume it's colder in Germany.

Fem!Michael kaiser

Michelle is naturally used to the cold. She has a higher body temperature and she had nothing no cover herself with when she was a child so she's used to it

She also already knows that you don't do well with the cold. She saw you shiver and freeze a lot during those cold days spent together in the streets of Berlin when you were children who only had each other (I love childhood friends to lovers kaiser and will mostly write for her with that in mind or implied)

But she still definitely teases you for being unable to withstand a bit of cold temperatures. She doesn't actually mind, though, since she thinks you look adorable bundled up in blankets

She doesn't like seeing you uncomfortable, so when she sees the temperature is getting colder and you're shivering, she asks you to cuddle and tells Ness to bring a blanket

You two just cuddle and watch whatever football match is going on, with kaiser constantly complaining about every mistakes the strikers do and saying how you two could do so much better

If there's no match currently going on, you'll just watch the highlight reel of your most recent match while she's constantly complimenting you on every action you did during the game (she expects you to do the same)

She also likes to take long warm baths with you. It's an opportunity to warm up and get even more comfortable together. You don't do much most of the time. Just wash each other and talk about whatever comes to your mind, it's one of the more relaxing and calm things you do in your relationship and it's also perfect to make yourself warm

If you have to play during a cold day or in a cold place kaiser complains to noa about it, while he looks at her like "wtf am I supposed to do about it" but then gives you some gloves specially made for the cold to help you

"Schatz, are you really that bothered by a bit of cold, I thought you'd be used to German weather by now"

"I think you of all people should know how I am with cold temperatures"

"Don't worry I know, should I ask ness to bring a blanket or two?"

"Yeah I'd like that thanks"

"Of course, anything for you, schatz."

Fem!Alexis ness

This girl is literally the definition of would do anything for you. It's genuinely concerning how fast she says yes to anything you ask her

You could literally ask her to help you hide a body, and she'd somehow already have a shovel and know a perfect spot to do it. Your happiness is literally the most important thing in the world to her, and she will do literally anything to make you happy

So the exact moment she saw you shiver even once she already went to grab 3 heated blankets, the softest pillows in all the buildings, and two cups of your favorite hot drink that she somehow made in record time

Cuddling is one of her favorite things to do with you (don't ask her which one is her favorite she genuinely couldn't decide) and the fact that it's cold means that she gets to cuddle with you basically always. Cuddling with Alexis genuinely fells like heaven she's so damn warm and comfortable it's insane. She also can adapt to whatever your cuddling preference is. If you like being the little spoon, then she's an amazing big spoon and the same goes for the opposite. She's at least top 3 best cuddlers in blue lock change my mind

If you have to go anywhere when it's cold she'll offer to go instead because she doesn't want you to get sick or even slightly uncomfortable with the cold. But if you do have to go then she comes with you, tells you to wear warm clothes and holds your hand the entire time both to warm it up and because she loves doing it

If you have to play in the cold then she tries her best to make you comfortable, including bringing hot tea in a thermos so she can give it to you to drink during break time

"Are you alright y/n? Do you need anything else?"

"N-no it's fine lexi, I already have everything I need"

"Are you sure? More tea, maybe? Are the blankets warm enough? Should I put on a movie? Or maybe a match? Do you-"

"Lexi please calm down I'm fine it's not a big deal"

"But you told me you didn't like the cold, I'm just doing anything I can to make you warm and comfortable liebling"

".....I swear every day I fall more in love with you, do you wanna cuddle? I'm sure your love will warm me right up"

"Awww thanks so much y/n, I love you so so so so so so so much, of course I'll cuddle you, the cold has nothing on me, especially if It's for you"

[maochira]

Noa, Chris and Lavinho becoming your father figure

Basically, you're part of a team of younger players for Bastard München/Manshine City/FC Barcha, your coach gets sick/injured so Noa/Chris/Lavinho become your coach for a while (separate headcanons for each character btw)

Tags: gn!reader, hurt/comfort(?), implied child neglect by reader's parents/father or them not having a father figure in their life, reader is a teenager

This was requested by this anon and lucky you I thought about a scenario like this for my Blue Lock OC and Noa a lot last week, so I already had stuff for this in my silly little brain. Also this is probably my favourite thing I've written for this blog so far!!

Requests are open!

Series masterlist

Noel Noa

-you were quite excited when you heard Noa would be your coach for a while

-and to your surprise, he was very impressed with your skill, so one day after training he asks you to stay longer to talk to you

-he didn't intend it to go like this, but your conversation ends up going a little deeper and you reveal stuff about your home life to him and let's just say Noa,,,, some sort of fatherly instinct kicks in very quickly

-he already acts a bit like a father figure to the entire team during training, but man, hearing about your home situation just makes him feel more fatherly about you

-after talking to you, he can't stop thinking about that conversation. He has a hard time falling asleep that night

-after that, he starts treating you as if you were his own child. He always asks if you ate enough that day, and in case you didn't, he's already prepared because guess what? He got some food for you

-during training, he treats you exactly like the rest of the team. But before practice, during breaks and after training? He's so fatherly towards you, some of your teammates started asking if you're related

-at first, it's a bit confusing for you, but you quickly start seeing him as more of a father figure as well

-when your usual coach recovers and returns, Noa stays in contact with you. He knows the times when you're at practice, so whenever he has the time, he will stop by to ask how you're doing

-if it rains, he will INSIST on driving you home. In no circumstance will he let you walk home/to the bus or train stop in the rain. He'd be way too worried about you getting sick

-also, he gave you his phone number and made it very clear that no matter for what, you can call him at any time

Chris Prince

-he's super excited when he gets to be your team's coach and wants to get to know every member, so during your first practice with him he lets the entire team play minigames and takes aside one player to talk to them a bit

-you're the last one to talk to him, and you actually talk so much, practice is already over but you stay because talking to him is so much fun and it's the most comfortable you've felt in a while

-but the lighthearted tone of the conversation changes immediately when you mention your home situation. You stay in your lighthearted tone because honestly, you're not that concerned about it. You're doing well, considering your circumstances. But Chris changes to a more serious tone, while you attempt to keep everything lighthearted

-and because of this, Chris gets so fatherly towards you. Like Noa, he doesn't treat you any differently from the rest of your team during training, but whenever he gets the chance to talk to you, you just notice he acts like a father would

-he's upset when he finds out your usual coach has recovered so he soon wouldn't be your coach anymore

-even when he's not your coach anymore, he comes to almost every single match of your team. And whenever you're not on the field, he will passive-aggressively ask your coach why he benched you. No matter what the answer is, he will insist that you should be playing because he genuinely thinks you're one of the best players in your team

-you have each other's phone numbers, so every now and then he texts you and asks how your day or week has been, if everything is okay at home and if you need his help with anything

Lavinho

-he's literally a huge bundle of joy when he's asked to temporarily be the coach of your team

-always joking and messing around with you and your teammates

-one day, when he walks past your team's locker room, he overhears you venting about something from your home life. He knows he shouldn't, but he stays to listen for a minute or two

-and then the realisation hits him. He notices how neither of your parents ever came to drive you to training, pick you up after it, or even watch your matches. No one ever came.

-he waits at the exit for you to leave the building, and when you do he asks to talk to you

-you're so nervous. You've never seen Lavinho as serious as this, so automatically you think you've done something wrong or you're gonna be benched for the next match

-but to your surprise, he admits he heard you venting to your teammates. He apologises for listening and explains he's concerned about you

-he tells you how it's okay if you don't want to tell him more than what he's heard already, but he really wants you to know that because he's your coach for the time being, he'll also be a safe person to talk to about anything

-you really appreciate his concern and offer, but you plan to keep your home life away from your soccer life as much as possible

-well, at first you do. As time passes on, you find yourself asking Lavinho to talk after practices more and more often

-he very soon becomes a father figure to you, and he treats you as if you were his child

-also stays in contact with you after your usual coach returns, he really tries to come to every match you play in and cheers for you the loudest

-he probably gets happy tears in his eyes every time you score a goal

[tinderbox210]

I just realized out of the blue that maybe a part of the reason why I like Noa and Mae so much as a ship is because they remind me a lot of Lucas and Skye from Terra Nova.

Noa and Lucas have actually a lot in common if you think about it. No, I kid you not, Lucas is basically what Noa could turn out to be if he took one wrong turn too much and doesn't have his ape support system:

both are highly intelligent, much more than most around them, making them special among their kind

Noa was the only one able to fix the broken staff while Lucas was the only one able to make the portal go both ways

they both have fathers with important roles in the community (Koro is Master of Birds and leader of the clan, Taylor is the commander of Terra Nova and war hero)

both were closer to their mother and struggle to live up to their father's expectations

both lost a parent in a brutal attack they had to witness (and partly blame themselves for it)

both live a long time in the forest isolated from interacting with humans

they both have a prominent scar (Noa has the visible mark left by the electric staff and Lucas has the marks from the Nykoraptor attack)

both connect with and catch feelings for a girl belonging to the "enemy" who lies and manipulates them and ends up betraying and almost getting them killed(!!!)

important hand holding scenes with someone giving an important object to the other (the circumstances are vastly different, still...)

also Lucas and Skye got an intense foreheard touching scene which I really need Noa and Mae to have too

there are also some interesting similarities between Skye's and Mae's character, with both having a personal mission that they are willing to go to great lengths to fulfil (Skye doing everything to save her sick mother, Mae doing everything to save humanity)

from the looks, Skye and Mae could absolutely be sisters

both Lucas and Noa have the same striking green eyes, while both Skye and Mae have both blue eyes (okay, I'm not sure about Allison's eyes but they look blueish to me)

In conclusion, I'm absolutely thinking about a Terra Nova AU now where they don't go to the past but end up building the colony in a parallel dimension where apes have evolved into the dominant species. And who's to say that there can't be dinosaurs on the planet of the apes?

[pistatsia]

Ness-

Just looking at him makes me feel sick. Kaiser is really the centre of his universe, huh. Ness doesn't care about Isagi, doesn't care about Noa, doesn't care about his stake - all he wants is for Kaiser to be happy.

His happiness is in Kaiser's happiness.

I was afraid that eventually in the manga their relationship would come down to Kaiser going too far/losing completely ugly at some point (which would play well with the whole 'naked king' theme) and Ness becoming disillusioned with him, but apparently I was wrong. But that's even worse, isn't it? Ness doesn't believe he can be loved just because he's like this - a funny guy who looks like a puppy and gets happy and angry too easily. He thinks love has to be earned, and he tries and tries and tries, every day doing everything he can to keep Kaiser looking at him. I tried to convey that thought in float, and it's- It's just awful, isn't it? All of Ness's feelings are centred on Kaiser, his every achievement is for Kaiser, his every action, thought, character, deed is for Kaiser. He centred all of himself on him, completely subordinated himself to his desires and dissolved in him without a trace.

Now imagine that because of losing to Isagi, Kaiser leaves him behind, blaming him for it? Who will Ness be without Kaiser? Would he be Ness we know? Would he even exist without him? I'm sure Ness himself thinks the answer is no.

Without Kaiser, Ness would just wither away.

Also very interesting is that Ness looks happy talking about Kaiser moving to Real - he agrees with it. This is something I've been curious about for a long time (ever since Kaiser's motivation for Blue Lock was revealed), as I was surprised that Ness was so calm about the fact that the main person in his life was going to leave him indefinitely, leaving him alone. I mean, he's actually reasonable in that respect. He not only understands that this is how sports work, but he also accepts those rules. For what? For Kaiser's happiness, of course. But honestly, that just makes me feel worse.

It means that for Kaiser's happiness, Ness is willing to suffer endlessly in loneliness while he plays at another club.

Only to see at least the ghost of a smile, only to hear a shadow of praise, only to catch a fleeting glance.

[where-is-your-boy-t0night]

very rough and incomplete bullet points from aizas perspective of the story

feliks and aiza were childhood friends, they even survived the transition to secondary school!

however since beginning secondary school, aiza found just about any and every reason to dislike herself. shes insecure, like most young girls of her age, and being shoved into the 'cool' crowd didnt help. everyone is so judgy these days, right? at least she still has feliks.

aiza makes some really good friends. shes got an established close friend group now, actually, which is awesome. her main girls are noa, sabrina, evie and samara. nice.

aiza compares herself to everybody. literally everybody. she overthinks a lot and she perceives herself to be lagging behind, or something like that. she makes many an attempt to ensure that nobody else can think the same.

once she and feliks were about 14 they were closer than ever. romantic, even, which was new. aiza was extremely nervous to mess this up, but she was so excited to have a boyfriend, and especially for that boyfriend to be someone she already knows is great. their relationship is perfect, for a time.

feliks is being weird with her... for some reason. aiza tries not to overthink it, for once. its not like hes avoiding her. noa tells her that hes probably just also nervous because, after all, this whole intimacy thing might be new for him too. aiza doubts that it is, but at the same time maybe her bff has a point.

out of the blue, she spent almost the whole october week break no contact with feliks. at first, its whatever. hes probably just busy with homework or something. this was, however, an unlikely scenario. feliks hates homework. aiza becomes worried for him and catches up with him at school once they return. why isnt he explaining himself..?

"i cant go out with you anymore." or something along those lines. oh god. aizas whole world crumbled in front of her eyes right then. why? what changed? what did she do to deserve radio silence? not a single clue, but it must have been her fault. oh god.

aiza felt like every insecurity she had before had been magnified by about 500 times. what if all of her other friends secretly couldnt stand her and wanted her to leave them alone? what if noa thought she was boring and bland, unfunny and embarrassing? she must want a different best friend. she should pick sabrina or evie, they were so much more interesting and way cooler than aiza. she felt sick.

she tried to put on a brave face. if her friends asked her where feliks had went (she had no idea herself) she would tell them that he was just being a huge jerk and she didnt want anything to do with him anymore. she wished that were true.

noa would come to hear almost everything aiza had to say about feliks. 'almost' meaning just her anger, not her sadness. aizas sadness was private, for when she was alone. like when she felt like crying into her pillow at night.

her anger manifested in her throwing things at her bedroom walls, or feeling the need to walk right up to feliks and scream in his face. she hated him she hated him so so so much. what the hell made him think he could do this to her? after all their years of friendship?

at the same time, she didnt really hate him. she didnt understand how she felt, actually. he lingered on her mind much more than he deserved to.

she found out that enzo was friends with feliks now, which she found from the oh so trustworthy source of information which was karim, obviously. she didnt know enzo that well. anyway, she found him on the yard after she heard of this, and mildly confronted him. feliks is not someone you want to get close to, you know. she couldnt tell what enzo thought about her. was that skepticism in his expression? wanker.

aiza didnt hear much more from or about feliks at all, he had stopped talking to all of his other friends too, it seemed. this didnt make aiza feel any better, but at least it wasnt just her. she spoke to izak privately about it. he was feliks' best friend, the two of them could relate to each other on that. he didnt know much. their conversation became deep, though. aiza misread the situation and kissed izak... oops. he was not happy about that.

maybe aiza shouldve felt worse about what she did, especially since izak had a girlfriend already, who was evie, who was one of her closest friends. but she didnt feel that bad. she kind of didnt like evie that much anymore, anyway. (she felt terrible and scared, mostly in case noa or sabrina reacted badly to this... if they were to find out.)

once evie found out, there was a big argument in the refectionary. the perfect place to shout about something if you want the entire year to also hear about it. even feliks heard about it.

...who is nikita?

[prettyboykatsuki]

Lurking in ur askbox tn sorry but…… alpha nagi n omega reo x beta reader who doesn’t comprehend they’re being courted until they walk right into full-on synchronized rut/heat and are entirely overwhelmed 🫣

Also I simply have to insert them everywhere so: prime alpha gagamaru who’s so casual abt it that its simultaneously surprising but also he couldn’t possibly be anything else. Never pulls rank or commands or anything but he’s so big and bulky and feral u feel silly for thinking he could be anything else; prime fodder for an alpha x alpha relationship I feel. And beta Noel Noa who everyone v much assumes is an alpha and could def pull the most quintessential omega anyway but has always been drawn to other betas and couldn’t care less that the world thinks ur plain. In fact? Let them he’ll happily keep you all to himself.

i love when u lurk in my askbox pluvi.. kisses u one hundred thousand times.

i LOVE. the dynamic with all three. because it's so appealing but its especially appealing with those two because they already have a really clear dynamic. i like to think you know that they're a pair as is, so you don't think any of other their cycle lust will involve you. you plan it preemptively, to kind of be on the sidelines for that one sexual activity. you're very involved in the relationship otherwise, but you understand that alpha/omega cycle just have nothing to do with you. so you're prepared to be a supportive cheerleader.

but then you walk into the room one day, and both of their cycles are early and they're both pawing at each other. you go into emergency mode, but nagi doesn't even let you get past the door to leave again. you've never, ever seen him like that. not even during soccer. there's a commanding timbre in his voice that is definitely effecting reo, and you but in a different way. not controlled but shocked mostly kjfdjds.

you get roped between them so easily and it's so utterly intense and neither of them give you room for air. if nagi isn't busy getting you off, it's reo who's humping you so desperately you can't find it in yourself to leave. the only way to describe it as too much. despite having slept together all at once before it's nothing like you've ever felt and your beta body simply does not produce the adrenaline to keep up with it but you have too anyway....... it is such a sexy dynamic..... insane and sick.

PRIMA ALPHA GAGAMARU... you're so right. he's so nonchalant about it but not in the way nagi is where he's bothered. he's just really casually an alpha and very accepting about all of his processes and desires. it's a good pairing for alpha x alpha but esp for an alpha reader that finds it tiresome for that being at the forefront of what people consider in relationships... love that actually... he rlly works well with any type i think.

and also big agree at beta noel noa. whiteboy of the century. he is really just some guy he just pulls anyone naturally youre incredibly right about that. i also think beta x beta is good for him it feels most natural to him!! i can also seen an alpha woman but specifically and only that. he's neutral to everything else and dislikes alpha men jkdsfs

[noamurphy]

⸙  mikey madison, twenty six, she/her  │  there they go,  THE ICARIAN,  greenhike’s own  NOA MURPHY. they’ve lived around here for  TWO YEARS,  but i mostly see them frequenting  BONNIE’S. if you stop to chat with them, don’t be surprised if they're  SELF-CONFIDENT  and  ALTRUISTIC,  since people often say they remind them of  TAPPING ACRYLIC NAILS ON WOODEN COUNTER TOPS , MURDER MYSTERY NOVELS STACKED ON HER NIGHTSTAND, AND DRINKING COFFEE LIKE HER LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

i. THE BASICS

NAME: noa talia galin murphy

AGE: twenty6

DOB: october 31st, 1998

HOMETOWN: boston, mass

OCCUPATION: barista @ camp greenhike

ZODIAC SIGN: scorpio

ii. THE BACKGROUND

Noa, in true fashion, was the product of a loveless marriage. Her father was heavily involved in criminal activities, his whole family part of some crime organization. Her mother, in some sick form of rebellion slept around so it was a miracle that Noa was actually her father’s child. ( #mommy and daddy issues anyone? asdfghjkl )

Despite her mother’s near iron grip on her life, attempting to control every aspect so she wouldn’t follow in her father’s footsteps, Noa struck out on her own prerogative. From a young age it was obvious that Noa’s mother didn’t truly love her, not in anyway that could make the young girl feel safe. So she did what any kid did . . . rebel.

Noa got into all manner of trouble and mischief as she grew up, not to get her mother’s attention but to feel something. Her dad was surprisingly attentive, trying to keep her out of trouble and spoiling her to some extent. When he actually saw her ( did anyone really expect her sadistic mother to actually let the one loving parent see her child? ).

It was towards the end of her college years ( oh yea, this rebellious babe is smart asf when she applies herself ), that she got involved with some things that eventually had her running to Greenhike at the prompting of a pseudo uncle of hers. It was how she got to town a couple of years ago, and has been working as a barista at the camp itself ever since.

She actually changed her name when she moved to town, figuring a fully fresh start was exactly what she needed. Shedding her old last name, she took up a new one and settled into a life that she truly loves. ( also catch her being vv interested in the lore surrounding the camp bc she's a #nerd )

Listen babes, at her core Noa is whiskey in a teacup. She loves pretty things, murder mysteries and has always had a knack for attracting chaos. She has a decent sense of self-preservation but an even stronger taste for adrenaline highs that surely are too dangerous. A "one more chapter", "one more coffee", "it can't be that bad, right?" type of person. A reluctant leader type, smart asf but tends not to apply herself unless forced, and will risk anything for those she cares about. Bribe her with Agatha Christie novels and mango smoothies.

[dragon-queen21]

hey :) ! I saw your kuma bear agere edits a while ago when I was browsing through the kb tag and thought, “huh. That’s pretty cool” and didn’t think much of it. After some weeks, I would be thinking about it again and go to search for it. I felt strangely happy? Like, yeah, this makes sense. Yuna would probably do that cause of everything that has happened. So, now I’m asking this after pondering it for a couple months. The point of all this is: do you mind sharing some hcs you have about kuma bear? Or some edits. Anything really, it can even be about someone other than Yuna or about her relationships with anyone else. I just feel really happy when I see someone else enjoying kb and making edits and stuff. If not, thanks for posting your kb edits :). I really like them! Have a nice day ^^

dbsjbdjdbksnsi You have no idea how long I have waited for the chance to ramble about Kuma bear :D I know theoretically I could have done so at anytime without prompting but still

This ask is so dear to me you have no idea, thank you so much, this made my whole week! Anyways!

Regressor Yuna headcanons

~~~

~You can’t tell me that Yuna wouldn’t have severe trauma considering she’s been on her own for so many years and her parents genuinely just didn’t care where she was or what was happening to her.

~Yuna probably would have regressed a couple times before she got summoned to the other world but never actually knew what it meant. Probably vent regressing when she got too lonely. Maybe she researched a couple things online and found the term age regression and just brushed it off because, “well that couldn’t be me, I don’t have childhood trauma I must just be over tired.”

~Then when she meets Fina and her family and everyone else it just suddenly hits her like “oh. I had a really bad childhood huh? This is what a loving family’s supposed to be like.”

~After that she has a harder time not regressing whenever she gets back from a mission just from the overwhelming feeling of love and safety

~So Yuna gains the ability to turn Kumayuru and Kumakyuu into cubs. I forgot what she does to earn this power so I’ll instead share the idea that has been rotating around my head. She gains the power due to accepting her own regression.

~Yuna carrying around her bear cubs everywhere with her when she's small like they’re stuffed animals.

~Making childhood snacks like pudding and needing someone to tell her when regressed to stop eating desserts or she’s going to make herself sick

~The shyest little cub whenever she’s regressed. I feel like she’d trust Fina if she tried to coax Yuna out of her room but otherwise she just hides away.

~Fina doing her best to watch over Yuna when she’s small. She'd would definitely know how to look after her considering she took care of Shiri for years. And if Yuna gets really embarrassed she just tells her that it’s her way of making it up to her for all of the things she’s done. (Also Fina would probably be a regressor too but that’s for another post entirely)

~Probably made a bunch of little gear for herself but is 90% of the time too embarrassed to use it and even less so around anyone.

~Fina and Noa being very proud at being the “older siblings” whenever Yuna is small.

~Cliff is 100% father figure material for Yuna while she's small. Noa probably mentioning something about Yuna regressing and Cliff just going into protective father mode.

I have a lot more thoughts for this series (lot of found family material tbh) but I am going to cut myself off here before this post gets any longer than it already is <3

[venting-dont-like-it-dont-follow]

my shoulder hurts and it's making me angry. people aren't responding and it's making me angry. my music doesn't feel right and it's making me angry. people are downstairs and they are talking anf it's making me angry. my breathing is too loud and it's making me angry. people aren't giving me attention and it's making me angry. i'm angry and it's making me angry. this bout to be my make or break. nah kidding. i wouldn't do that to him. this post isn't aimed at anyone i just feel like i'm losing my mind and writing it out always helpes. me. it's like 1 big outlet for all of my feelingss and emotions. just working trough them one by one. im not sure why im so irritated all the flipping time. or at anything. i asked mods in a friend server to yime me out cuase i wasnt sure if id snap. and noe im just venting everthing here in the case that it helps. because i dont want to snap. so instead im leetting it all out in one big text post. i hate what you did to e Pelle. i hte what you fucing didi to me. do you understand how you've ruined my fucking body. do you understand how violated i felt. mom do you understand that you pushed me until i broke and then you kept pushing. you broke me. always expecting more, never letting me get rest. you wanted to do whats right. but it wasnt working. dad you were emotonally absent at best an d downright abusive at worst. pascal. youve ever beliueved in me from the start. always doubting me and telling me my depression was fake and for attention. do you know a couple of the scars on my keg are cause of you. hope you are proud. alex. your great. but you never listen and always talk. im sorry im the only one that listens but doesnt men that you cant or dont have to listen to me. thats not how it works. Noa. fuck you for ruining whatever a friendship was supposed to mean. ive never dared to make friends with anyone or a long time since i met you. i hope you rhink about me with fucking regret for how you treated me. do you understand that ive looked at you wih disdain for ever entering my life. the 1st person to ever show me fucking kindenss and it was out of goddamn oity. fuck you. i wanted to thros and pull you from that fucking bike back when i saw you years ago. Tamara. youre stupid for expecting me to just do everything you say. im not a dog and im not a slave. im sick of people telling me how to live my life, who to interact with. and wwho i need to be. the only one ive truly and wholly forgiven is my qpp. cause he fucking showed compassion evenw hen we were on bad terms. and we repaired it bit by bit. and god i relaise im broken. im a shell of a person but fuck. im alive but i dont know i i'm living you nknow. and who fucking knows. none of this might make sense and i might just be causeing a big ruckus ffor nothing. kinda wanna put thi on on my maina ccount but i wont. anbd lastly. fuck you . yeah. fuck me. becaue i let people wall all over me and convince me of whats right and wrong or months. fuck this. ugh. i think im don ater abusing my keyboard ot a good 12 minutess. that., does oddly feel better actually. nive

[the-monkeies-girl]

21. with Noa? 🤭

21. Listening to someone's heartbeat.

The golden brown horse jerked suddenly, having hit a bit of toughened terrain and in the gist of getting themselves, along with you and Noa, to get itself situated once more, your eyes so curious as to how the Ape you had such a tight grip on managed to wrangle the strong animal with one hand on the reins, the other grasping at your thigh in a subserved way to tell you that you needed to hold on tighter as you traversed over the hardened landscape.

You had done just that, hands digging into themselves as you had a harsh grip around his waist, Noa taking in stride the feeling of your forearms pushing into his lower navel, never painful at all, but leaving him wondering if that was a parallel to the feeling he got when he looked at you for too longer and began taking in the details about you that those just passing by would deny seeing. 

The Chimp liked them --- all the smaller aspects about you that he knew you were unable to admit that you disliked, but it was clear to him that that was the case. Your smile, something so Echo to him the first time that you had met, the blunted nature of your incredibly unnatural teeth ( at least to an Ape whomst had such sharp canines ) became his favorite thing, but you often covered it up out of preservation that any other Ape might make fun of you for it.

The fidgeting of your fingers when nerves rattled your mind, Noa found cute and a good signal to him that you needed to be calmed. Noa shifted his horse once more, finally allowed himself to loosen the grasp he had on his animal friend and peered back at you, your eyes meeting the one you could see as he was only able to turn his head half way. ‘Okay?’ Noa signed, your gaze captivated in the way that… Despite his fingers being so thick, they were so long and the elegance of which Noa gave himself to sign was undoubtedly something that caused the words to run dry when you imagined the fingers against your throat. Only nodding, Noa was quick to turn his attention facing forwards once more to ensure another tussle like that didn't happen again, or worse.

Drawing your bottom lip in, your arms remained tight around him and enjoyed the feeling of the thinner skin of his lower stomach tickling at your forearms as you encased him in a backwards sort of embrace. Nothing particularly affectionate about the position itself, but you still felt a swell of heat radiating down your entire body, Noa able to detect the agile shift in your scent as confirmation that the interest he had in you was silently returned. 

Resuming the position you had before the horse took a turn and jolted, you tilted your head and let the side of his rest against his shoulder blade. The passing foliage in front of your eyes and great pass time as you felt you would get too nauseous if you looked forward like Noa was. Explaining motion sickness like that to the Ape was not on your mind today, you chuckled softly, breathing in deeply and taking the tones of scent from the thickets of fur you were resting on in to scrutinize them pleasingly.

That only lasted a moment as your attention was sorely drawn elsewhere, eyebrows tightening in on themselves. You could have sworn that it was the hooves of the horse beating against the ground, so rhythmic and in time to each other as the four feet glided, but there was another softer pulse to it. Noa’s heart beat was so vague in the wilderness, the side of your face pressing in a bit more in hopes that the closer you got to his actual skin and not the embellishment of fur he had would get you inside of his chest so you could savor in the organ pushing blood throughout his body. It was strong, you noted, letting lips fall open as you began keeping conscious time to it.

Faster than your own, it was heady with pleasure at keeping Noa alive, something you felt sorely envious of as if you wanted to crawl into his ribcage and do it for him. As if they had a mind of their own, your hands unlocked themselves from the death grip of his waist and you drew them upwards to rest against his pectorals, left being tickled by his browned fur soaked at the tips with a honey color, your right hand vaguely tracing the scar that Noa had resting there. He had stiffened at that, bringing his biceps out to allow you to properly slot yourself into the new location they wanted to be in, his heart taking it a step further for your ear as it began beating quicker, harder. Silent but deafening confirmation that feelings were mutual. 

“More comfortable.” You uttered to him haphazardly, your voice muffled as you had been pressed so aggressively into his taut shoulder, feeling the swing of the muscles themselves against your cheek.. Noa only nodded at that, not looking back at you in the moment as he raised a hand, letting it rest against the ones you had placed on him. Both, from tip to tip, his fingers elongated, palms touching at the back of your hands and setting the delicate skin there on fire. He urged you then with that action. 

Make sure my heart doesn’t jump out of my chest, and if it does, make sure you catch it for me.

[wroteonedad]

Discussing 'Pachinko' (2017)

Reading. One of those things that I love the idea of doing, but ultimately also the one thing I never really getting round to doing. Reading has been the one thing where I have always said, 'I'll read tomorrow' and then tomorrow just never comes. When I do read, I usually forget everything that had happened prior to when I picked the book up which is usually about 6 months before. Pachinko, the second novel by Min Jin Lee, did not have that effect on me. I hate to say it, but I have been reading this novel for over a year, and all of a sudden I am obsessed with it, near to the point that I simply cannot put it down.

It was one of those books that I'd picked up on a whim while visiting the bookstore, a book with a cover that I was visually drawn to straight away. I knew nothing about any aspects of Korean and Japanese history featured and I knew nothing about the author. I think I understand now.

Pachinko is theoretically three novellas within one book. Each section of the book represents the next generation of the family or a whole new branch of family life. As the novel begins, it feels more focused on Sunja, the daughter of a crippled fisherman in a boarding house which resides near the sea in South Korea in the early 1900s. It feels like for this section of the book, Sunja is carrying all of the hard work and caring that comes with the boarding house. Her back must hurt from carrying the weight of this boarding house on her shoulders. So during this section, Sunja ends up meeting Koh Hansu as a blooming adolescent to which she ends up falling in love and falling pregnant with his child. Hansu is a rich fluently Japanese speaking man and later in the novel, it is revealed he is actually part of the yakuza and that is how he has managed to make his fortune. The yakuza is the Japanese version of the mafia.

Sunja quickly finds out after making love to Hansu that in his eyes she is nothing more than a mistress and finds that he is already married to a woman in Japan and has daughters with her, not slay. She quickly asks him to no longer be apart of her life and she is left with the devastating realisation that she now has to disappoint her family, falling pregnant and not being married. This of course is a huge deal in the early 1900s and is enough to be deemed not good enough to be a part of mainstream society.

Baek Isak then visits the boarding house on his way to Osaka where he is visiting his brother. Yangjin discusses with the tuberculosis ridden man how Sunja has fallen pregnant with another man's baby and Isak decides to marry Sunja because he believes that he will die soon from all of the illnesses he has had in his short life. He promises to care for Sunja until the very end. The only problem with Isak is is that he is like a Victorian street urchin and is constantly sick with something,,, this is something that Yangjin considers that could be a problem for Sunja in the future. The newly wed couple then move to Osaka where they live under the same roof as Isak's brother Yoseb and wife Kyunghee.

Sunja gives birth to her firstborn with Koh Hansu, Noa. She is also working a job and sold a watch that Hansu had given her in order to make enough money to survive, much to Yoseb's disapproval.

Book 2

The novel jumps further in time to a world where Sunja now has Noa and Mozasu (Isak's birth son). Noa becomes the more academic of the two brothers, spending much of his time learning Japanese and reading.

Not long after Mozasu is born, Isak gets caught reciting The Lord's Prayer when everyone is supposed to be worshipping the emperor and he is quickly thrown into prison; which is absolutely insane by the way. They leave the guy to rot away in prison for quite a chunk of time and only release him when he is on the brink of dying so he is able to see his family for a short period of time before perishing.

In the time that Isak is in jail, Sunja and Kyunghee open up a stall at the market where they sell their own homemade kimchi. The business does well and the two are approached by an owner of a restaurant who pays them to cook for their place. In a time where Japan gets struck by World War II and everything begins to become scarce very quickly.

A few years later the restaurant is forced to close due to the War, which is also conveniently the time that Hansu decides to re-enter Sunja's life.

That night he tells Sunja that he is actually the owner of the resturant and that he has been manipulating their family all of these years as well as tracking them all down. He knew that Sunja had sold the gold watch that he gifted her all those years prior. The absolute fiend for controlling people then decides to send the entire family over to a country house in the middle of nowhere where they would spend the rest of the time in the war working. He makes a bunch of accusations and false claims to Sunja telling her the family need to leave straight away because their home probably wouldn't be there by tomorrow. He also decides to reunite Sunja with her mother Yanjin and pretty much drops Yoseb back off to the house later in the war after he becomes horrifically injured from all the bombings.

When the worst of the war passes, the family returns back to Osaka where Noa and Mozasu continue studying. Noa ends up leaving to go to university in Tokyo where he studies English Literature while Mozasu ends up dropping out of high school where he gets relentlessly picked on for being Korean to the point he was fighting all the time and after the night of being picked up by the police over it, he then begins to work in Goro's pachinko parlour,,, to which he ends up getting promoted. He falls in love with Yumi, a seamstress who wants to live the American Dream, except they have a child together and Yumi ends up dying in a car accident shortly after.

Noa on the other hand, is sleeping with a girl who makes comments about how she finds it weird that Hansu is Noa's mentor and is paying for everything, she accuses Hansu of being the real father of Noa and that is how he finds out Isak was never his father after all. The same night, he goes for dinner with Hansu where he learns everything, as well as all of his history in the yakuza. Noa is ashamed of this, he is honest with the way he feels like he can't live with himself knowing that his own blood is corrupt. He returns him to have a go at Sunja for not being honest with him, drops out of university and runs away. He sends both his mother and Hansu money every single month to go towards lifestyles and to pay back for his university experience, he feels as if he owes it.

Book 3

The main synopsis of this section is to discuss Noa and Mozasu now that they are both adults in their 40s with children. A school friend of Mozasu, Haruki ends up having the most insane plot twist in the story. The man works as a policeman and has an entire gay plot, despite him being a well beloved man as well as having a wife and children.

Hansu being Hansu decides to hire private investigators so he can locate where Noa is residing. At this point he has one son and three daughters with his wife, he is now considered a Japanese resident and also runs his own pachinko parlour in Japan. When Hansu tells Sunja about this she wants to find him immediately. They drive all the way to the correct area where Hansu tells Sunja it is not a good idea to speak to him and that they should wait longer before making any form of physical contact. As soon as Sunja sees her son, she comes rushing out of the car to speak to him. Noa tells Sunja about his family, the disgust that comes with being Korean and how he has to lie to everyone about who he is because his boss hates foreigners and his wifes mother would not allow him to be around if they found out he was Korean. He promises to call Sunja that night and when he doesn't, Sunja innocently thinks it is because Noa no longer has the home phone number anymore. In actual fact, he took the whole seeing his birth parents again very, very badly.

Mozasu becomes a rich man, rich enough to literally hire famous singers to attend his son Solomon's birthday party, so if you're looking for a fictional sugar daddy then you've come to the right place. Sunja's mother Yangjin passes away after giving Sunja one last mouthful about how awful Hansu was and that Noa deserved his fate because he was born 'a bad seed'. At her funeral in the following chapter, it was revealed that Mozasu's partner Etsuko has a daughter who had had an abortion a chapters prior had then moved in with the family and spends the entire funeral trying to make a move on Solomon? I think that Hana is a character that needs to be studied in the history books.

Fast forward a few years after Yangjin's funeral and it feels like Mozasu, Sunja and Hansu simply don't exist where the book begins to revolve around Solomon's blossoming from adolescence into early adulthood where he shags his future stepsister ???? Many a time, moves to New York for university, falls in love with Phoebe and then moves back to Japan with her to begin his post-grad job. He becomes a major gambler and tries to save not like other girls Hana who becomes an alcoholic and flees from everybody she ever knew until she tries to rekindle her flame with Solomon over the phone when he's still in New York. I've said this before in the paragraph above, but Hana NEEDS to be studied. Other than her complicated relationship with her mother, how did she end up like this? Every time I read about what she's doing, I end up feeling like that picture of Ben Affleck looking stressed out and smoking.

As the end of the book hits, Solomon's life literally falls apart. He ends up working for a big banking company where his boss Kazu wants to buy a property from a Korean woman so he can demolish it for the land he wants for a golf course. She refuses because she doesn't want to sell to a Japanese person so asks Solomon to do it for him. He approaches his father where he can get a guy who knows a guy help to achieve the deal he wants. Ironically two days after getting the land, the 93 year old lady passes away peacefully from a heart attack, however Kazu places the blame on Solomon and the yakuza and fires him from his high up position.

Meanwhile Hana is dying in the hospital in Tokyo from a disease passed on from a man which is never really fully disclosed. I imagine it would have been from her years of hostessing and battle with alcoholism. She tells Solomon how she was always in love with him and that after being sacked from his job that he should pursue his fathers pachinko parlour and run that because fuck what any Japanese person thinks of the yakuza background basically.

At a family weekend, Solomon's family are asking him about when he is going to marry Phoebe over a home cooked Korean dinner, but discusses with his father how she couldn't get a job in Japan and he couldn't work in New York without a visa. The relationship between the two shortly ends up breaking apart when Phoebe ultimately decides that they both want very different things and packs all of her bags. She leaves the next day. The night before she was in tears and angry, but the next day? A confident girlboss ready to conquer the world.

The end chapter discusses how Mozasu has been using the same desk for over 30 years and ends up as a well respected tax payer, Sunja visiting the grave of Isak to speak to him and deliver gifts and confirming that Noa had killed himself because he wanted to be 'normal'. His father Hansu is under 24 hour hospital care with good doctors over his cancer.

There were a lot of things that I felt towards this book. I feel sometimes with books, especially when a lot of the background is focused on major events in history, they can feel very focused on that rather than the characters. This was not the case with Pachinko, rather it was made apparent that all of these historic events were happening and this is what all of the characters were doing in response to all of it. Every character represented had strong developments and it felt so wonderful to grow up with them, for things in their past to haunt them, but also for them to look back at things they could have changed if they went back to that time period. The book is a super easy read, there weren't many words I didn't understand too which feels like an added bonus. It does not feel like it is over 500 pages long (which it is) and what I am most upset about is that Hansu didn't die after all of the torture and trauma he left for the family.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023 #37-35

That AWKWARD moment you plan on ranking this year’s Big Evil last, and then rewatch everyone and realize some of these NQs were so PUTRID you can’t in clear conscience rank  them ahead of anyone else. Enjoy three acts so irredeemable I have to rank them below Noa! Decade rankings: 112, 111 & 110 / 116 [Above: Brividi, Below Noa Kirel] 29 Dec Update: Now ABOVE Noa, and below Nadir

37.  36. GREECE Victor Vernicos - “What they say” 30th place

I enjoy being right. 🙂 Sorry, but 14 points in a TELEVOTE, (12 of which from Cyprus) in a semi that has the utterly unvoteable Romania and San Marino in it? Greece was and IS the worst in this year. Sitting through it was like watching a stream of meconium ooze from a baby’s anus.

Sure, one could argue that "What they say” was redeemable as like... a laughable trainwreck, and yeah, it could have been on paper. I have to draw a line somewhere, and “somewhere” is where a delegation sends a minor to the contest, SEES the footage of him utterly flunking the live and then does nothing, allowing him to humiliate himself in front of millions of people. Shitty broadcasters to the fucking bottom of the ranking!

But even besides that, the song is just a wretched Ed Sheeran pretend ballad, like someone took a cleaver to “Castle on the hill” and hacked out all the mildly enjoyable mellow parts and replaced them with a stop-motion-like cadence, cursive singing and Sad Boy Emoness. Victor sings that he hates his feelings and my feelings are that I hate everything about his song.

Like, I can’t be the only person so UTTERLY SICK of these misguided self-aggrandising songs that actively try to use real-life mental health issues to provide unsoliicited social commentary for their own personal gain? Be it in a competition or to make oneself appear ~morally righteous~. Enough with the devious white-washing of actual mental health issues. 

 At least that is what I’m forced take away from this shitty song because these lyrics don’t make any fucking sense: Victor sings that “Lost Souls” make sure no one loses their way and “Hurt ones” can’t stand seeing others in pain, and also that he’s both (?) and that he’s got too much on his plate, wanting to save the others (?????) and that it’s TOO LATE FOR HIM (??????) Someone heard this and wasn’t instantly alarmed by how dark this is? WTF?! SICC A PSYCH ON HIS ASS, ASAP!

But of course, any potential complexity is instantly undermined by the visuals. 

Youngster Victor wants to battle, and his team is one lvl 7 Caterpie.

Add in a few selfie backdrops, some happy skipping (again: this song has a messed-up and depressing message) and perhaps most offensive of all: GREEK LETTERS SPLICED INTO ENGLISH WORDS: 

And you are left with an entry that makes me feel ALEXEEV levels of shame. Like yeah it’s all mercenary and insincere and vile but doesn’t change the fact that that Greece sent a sixteen year old with a song about SUICIDAL THOUGHTS to Eurovision and made it... that. BE SAFE, YOUNG VICTOR!!! Preferably as far away from a guitar as possible.😬

-----------------------------

36. 35. SAN MARINO Piqued Jacks - “Like an animal” Joint LAST

THEY KNOW THE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 

... to zero points...x

Congratulations Piqued Jacks, you are NOT last in this ranking. 🙄 Count your lucky fucking stars. 

Talk about an entry that fully earned their nil points in the televote. Piqued Jacks accompanied their accidentally predatorial song with black and red lights. Black and red lights are of course the axe murderer colours which they used to complement the date rape lyrics and serial killer faces.  🙃

Seriously, for real:  

Hide your sisters and daughters from this creep and his eerie obsession with “snake eyes” and “biting tongues” and “butterflies in his ears”. I would be less bad if “E-King” (you’re a grown man, consider a name change) wasn’t this off-puttingly smug or didn’t have a voice like newborn goat choking on its colostrum. “Like an animal” is three minutes of extreme discomfort. The absolute opposite of a “Slay”.

------------------------------

35. 34. ROMANIA Theodor Andrei - “D.G.T.” Joint LAST.

Sigh, this one just makes me feel sad.  As you know I was a Theodor apologist before and honestly, I still kinda like him as a person?

DGT was a shambles though. Theodor was always due to create some discomfort, given that he has never not looked like a Project Runway second boot called Susan and DGT’s lyrics involve *this specific person* talking graphically about being carressed by his girlfriend’s fingers and wanting to rip her clothes off. So yeah a hard sell, but not impossible!!

However, the live was a bare step above San Marino in terms of second-hand embarrassment. An weird musical bisection, an amateur hour act swallowed by the LEDs and utter SILENCE from the audience which thundered over the off-pitch wailing condemned Romania to nill pointer hell.

The acoustic start, WHY? 

The CSI floordrops, WHY? 

The selfie backdrops, WHY?

 The black paint on the naked torso, WHY? 

the shrill falsetto WHYYYYYY?!

And just like how the San Marinese cringe is present but in a lesser form, so is Greece’s shitty broadcaster behaviour. After forcing Theodor to transmogrify his opening minute into an unplugged acoustic version (a decision that completely ruined the song), TVR just called it a day, and happily sent Theodor to his doom with no real regrets. WTF?!

Basically, these three nil point flops (yeah totally counting Greece as one, deal!) are all tied for last place, but I had to pick an order. Greece are the most awful for exploiting a minor. San Marino deliberately chose someone with a very annoying voice and face, so they’re second last. Theodor meanwhile, is actually kinda talented and was mostly the victim of TVR’s lack of involvement, to which I say: If your participations in Eurovision amount to throwing an eighteen year old to the vultures because you’re too bothered to actually support him through the ordeal, Romania, then don’t bother with ESC and just fucking QUIT!!!

THE RANKING

[maochira]

Hii hello! Hope you’re doing well! Could I request the coach trio (with snuffy if you’re alright with that) as father figures reacting to the reader being sad and heartbroken after a breakup? You can do hc or drabbles, anything is fine! Thank you so much!

Snuffy is part of the father figure series now so I'm putting him into every request!! Also I kinda got a comfort in writing breakup comfort stuff shdnnfns I went through a rough breakup last year so this stuff is nice to write!!

Requests open! - father figure series masterlist

Tags: gn!reader, breakup stuff, comfort

Noel Noa

-he didn't see your breakup coming at all, so he was surprised when you told him about it

-doesn't know what to do or how to help you. He doesn't like asking you "How are you doing regarding the breakup?" or anything else related to it because he's so afraid of triggering you

-but he made very VERY clear that you can talk to him about it at any time, so he waits for you to approach him if you ever struggle regarding this

-it breaks his heart to see how in the first weeks after the breakup, you lose interest in the things you loved before and he ust notices how you lack some of your usual habits. He gets so afraid of you losing yourself

-he really can't stand seeing you like this, so he puts extra effort into finding ways to help you. Depending on what you need that day, either distraction or he lets you vent

Chris Prince

-you didn't tell him about the breakup immediately when it happened. You didn't tell anyone, actually

-Chris noticed how something about you started feeling off and you haven't talked about your ex-partner in a while, so he asks you about it and as much as you try to keep yourself together, you break down in front of him and tell him what happened

-he's never felt his heart hurt as bad as when you told him everything and he feels so guilty. He thinks he did something in the past that gave you a reason to not tell him about the breakup when it happened. But it was really just you being afraid of everyone's reaction because you were seen as "the perfect couple"

-Chris puts so much effort into helping you heal. He lets you put on breakup songs in the car, he buys you your favourite food all the time and randomly checks on you by texting or calling whenever he thinks of you, which is very often

Lavinho

-your first thought right after the breakup was to call him. He panicked so much when he heard your crying voice on the phone and stopped whatever he was doing to pick you up from your place

-he didn't have any ideas where to go, and the first thing that popped into his mind was the soccer field, so that's where he took you. Not to play soccer (unless you want to) but to sit down and talk. He knows that's one of your safe spaces

-you talk to him about the breakup and other things that happened during the relationship for hours. Lavinho even canceled an interview that day so he can stay with you. He really doesn't want to leave you alone like this until you feel a bit better

Marc Snuffy

-you didn't come to your last soccer practice and started isolating yourself in general, which got Snuffy worried about you

-when he asks about it the next time he meets, you lie and tell him you were sick because you don't feel ready to tell him about it

-but the longer you're around him, you feel more and more guilty for lying to him, so you tell him the truth

-Snuffy actually kind of expected it because for the past weeks and months he realized your relationship didn't go as well as it should have, so he was prepared with what to say and how he could help you

-he has SO MUCH good advice and listens closely to whatever you tell him. He figures out very quickly what helps you heal and without him you'd definitely feel much worse

[waiting-on-a-dream]

My Milgram ocs as long palette names because making the twst version was fun

Based on this post from @.fivepointpalettes + later palettes. Let's go!!

Just Friends But We Kiss Sometimes - LITERALLY DAISUKE AND RYUTO I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

Let Me Be Your Unreliable Narrator, Baby! - Every prisoner lmao

Focus On Me (Ignore The Blood) - Suzume, Haku

I Touch You And My Hands Burn My Hands Burn My Hands Burn (What Have You Done) - Daisuke, Suzume

Well First Of All I Am Positive What You Did Is A Criminal Offense / And Second Of All Why Didn’t You Invite Me - Suzume (She seems like the kind of girl who would feel left out when it comes to activities like this)

What’s A Little Murder Between Friends - Rin (This is kind of mean but its funny 💀)

I’m Sorry I Chewed Through Your Walls But You Must Understand I’m Calcium Deficient / Please Be Mindful Of The Evil Yoghurt Demon In The Freezer - I don't know why but these reminded me of Ichiro

Being In Love And How It Sucks Sometimes - Daisuke, Suzume, Rin, Noa (Sad little meow meows)

Do You Remember When You Told Me That You Love Me When You Told Me That You Love Me When You Told Me That You - Suzume

I Loved You I Did So How Did We End Up Like This - Daisuke, Rin, Noa

This Will Hurt You More Than It’ll Hurt Me - And That’s Okay! - Akane, Daisuke, Haruto (They're vibing guys)

I Need You To Understand That I Really Do Want What’s Best For You - And That Simply Isn’t Me - Noa

I’m Always At Least A Little Bit Scared Hopeless And Frustrated - Akane, Yui, Noa, Mayumi (This is the opposite of girlboss)

Can You Help Me Find What’s Wrong With Me / An Unhealthy Relationship With One’s Own Identity - Ichiro, Daisuke, Suzume, Yui, Rin, Noa (They are not having fun)

Biting Into A Rubber Ball Like An Apple While Maintaining Full Eye Contact - Haruto (I think he would do this just to spite someone)

I’m Just A Normal Functioning Member Of The Human Race And There Is No Way Anyone Can Prove Otherwise - Kiyoshi, Mayumi

The Magical Princess’s Strawberry-Scented Battle Axe Of Infinite Bloodshed - Suzume

I Hate Citations Why Can’t You Just Trust Me - Suzume, Noa

Doctors Say You Need A Consistent Amount Of Sleep To Be Healthy So I Consistently Sleep For 4 Hours A Night / Too Cool To Sleep At A Reasonable Hour / I’m Sick But The Bags Under My Eyes Are Sicker / Who Needs Sleep When I Can Just Drop Dead For A Rest - Haruto (I can't- Giving him these palettes are so funny 💀💀💀)

Lonely Sewer Cryptid Looking For Love - Ichiro

The Privilege Of Being Born Somebody Else - Ichiro, Suzume, Yui, Kiyoshi (I don't like what this says about them)

Look At Her Go Biting Everyone Who Comes Near Her Like A Champ - Akane, Mayumi (One day they're gonna snap)

I Apologize If You Found Finding This Place Difficult But You Must Understand I Am Currently Evading Detection And Arrest For Crimes Undisclosed - Daisuke

And If You Thought It Was A Threat It Might Have Been - Daisuke, Suzume, Haku, Mayumi, Haruto

Putting On A Show To Seem Alive / When I Don’t Feel Alive - Daisuke

Time Has Stopped Passing A Long Time Ago - Everyone in Milgram should be getting cabin fever by now, right?

Once Again A Cold Rainy Winter Gives Way To A Cold Rainy Spring - Rin (Him and his seasons theme)

Here’s Cheers To The Man Who Stole My Heart Away - Suzume, Noa

The Sort Of Love You Only Feel When Drunk - Daisuke (Yes another 'On love' reference I can't stop)

It’s Past My Bedtime And I’m Thinking Of You - Rin

Oh Baby Don’t You Know Our Sort Is Locked Out Of Heaven - Haku, Mayumi (I REALLY don't like what this says about them)

You Have To Stop Making So Many Enemies - Haruto @ most of the prisoners (Its actually just the guilty prisoners lmao)

Keep All Body Parts On The Inside Of The Vehicle At All Times As Failure To Comply May Result In Having Them Unwillingly Removed - Haruto (This sounds like something he'd say)

Drowning In A Coffee Cup (What An Awful Way To Go) - Noa

My Overconfidence Is Astounding And It’s A Surprise I’ve Never Been Killed - Haruto (He's lucky my prisoners are all so chill)

I Understand Where You’re Coming From But Where Did You Get The Gun - Daisuke

Well That Was A Little Unnecessarily Brutal Don’t You Think? - Sender: Daisuke (He said he wasn't cut out for his work), Receiver: Akane, Suzume, Haku, Kiyoshi

Tender Words And Hellish Screams - The entirety of Milgram

You Smell Like Nonsense With A Hint Of Melancholy - Noa

I Live In A Room With No Windows / I Haven’t Left The House In Months - People are getting depression from being cooped up in Milgram for so long, right?

Forever Dizzy In This Lonely World - Ichiro, Akane, Suzume, Rin, Noa

Summer Lasts A Week At Best But My Dedication To Sweater Vests Is Eternal So Look Me In The Eye Little Teacup And Melt If It Bothers You So Much - Mayumi

You Can’t Just Ask A Guy Why He’s In Love - Daisuke

Can’t Let It Slip That There’s More To Me Than Little Old I - Kiyoshi

I Know I May Look Like A Real Person But I Am Actually Not A Real Person At All - Ichiro (I don't know what kind of mental illness he has but he sure has one or a few)

You Know How Sometimes An Unwanted Guest Comes Over And You Do All You Can To Make Them Leave While Remaining Polite / Fizzy Brained Children Are So Troublesome - Mayumi (They both apply to her so I'll put it like this even though the palettes have nothing in common)

You’re The First Descendant In A Line Of Workaholics Utterly Convinced Your Willingness To Sacrifice Your Own Health Determines Your Worth As A Human Being And Promptly Working Yourself To Death To Provide Unto Others What You Never Had A Chance To Understand You Deserved Yourself - Kiyoshi, Mayumi

I Am The Mirror In Which You Can See All The Evil In The World - Ahaha, everyone in Milgram

My Brain Operates On Frequencies You’ve Never Even Heard Of - Again, whatever Ichiro has going on /pos

Being Told I’m Allowed To Make My Final Class Project About Any Topic I Want Awakens A Demon Inside Me That Makes Me Subject My Classmates To Only The Finest Of My Obscure Interests - Noa

The Only Thing Greater Than My Ego Is My Impostor Syndrome - Daisuke, Haruto

The Cons Of Being My Friend Greatly Outweigh The Pros - Rin

You Are Who We Say You Are Because Public Opinion Beats Self Worth Every Time - Kiyoshi

Murder And Other Expressions Of Love - Daisuke, Suzume, Haku, Rin

You Locked Me In A Cage And Threw Away The Key And When You Found Someone Better I Was Left To Gnaw On The Bars For My Freedom - Suzume, Rin

What Do You MEAN There Was A Fire - Haruto (Poor warden-san)

A Little Weirdo Driven By Consumption - Ichiro

Your Love Has Brought Me To The Point Of No Returning - Suzume

Go To Sleep In The Morning And Wake Up At Noon Only To Go Back To Sleep Till Evening And Wake Up Full Of Regret And With A Headache - All that sleep deprivation finally caught up to Haruto

A Toast To Our Special Little Brand Of Sin - Milgram~!

The Man Of Wine And Cigarette Smoke / You And All Your Money That You’ve Stolen From The Poor / Thank You For Your Loss - Daisuke (His mafia side makes an appearance!)

Learn To Forgive Yourself - Noa (The only true innocent prisoner here /j)

I Don't Know What's In Your Head Why Are You Asking Me - Haruto (I can imagine the prisoners asking him what went down in their MVs and him going: does it look like I know?)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAO I just saw all the master lists on my feed and they look CLEAN im crying the Karasu one being filled is so funny but also talk about a blessing to Karasu nation

SHREK AND FIONA LMFAOOOOOO WAIT SO REAL I’ve also never watched shrek in its entirety I’ve only watched like clips of it in passing?? Never took the time to actively sit down and watch the whole movie oops that would actually be hilarious though and LMAOO SATOSUGU COSTUME wait nagi Lowk is perfect as Gojo though soooo

Manifesting we both return to normal too this is not fun LMAO it’s ok once the sickness goes away the inspiration will be back x10 stronger trust….

FRRR wait also speaking of im just realizing they skipped over the entire fight scene between Rin and Shidou after the first match????? Not that I care THAT much abt those two but I WANTED TO SEE OTOYA AND KARASUS REACTIONS????? Maybe they cut it there and decided to add that extra scene in ep1 but I’m lowk not happy about that but it is what it is I guess….

KIDNEY BEANS LMFOAJS that’s too funny and now that you mention it I see the vision…but fr maybe they just said Barous special like that so he gets his own color LMAO

Anything next to Karasu bfb looks small LOLLL ok but the kiyora fic was fr so cute…the fact that you basically hit all his main personality traits before pwc and the egoist bible drop though is CRAZY

frrr you can really feel the quality over quantity with kyoani it’s just >>>> also FR also the reason why I basically never watch the isekai genre too (I also just don’t enjoy the one piece art style on top of the way the women are drawn like…)

LMAAOOAA no because it’s actually such an entertaining dynamic but it’s funny cause we see like Karasu and yuki like high giving or something mid match too like canonically we don’t see beef but the dynamic matches their characters so well but wait the subgroups you’re making are cooking omg imagine tabishoken….thats just my lineup of gentlemen like hello??? Also YEAH I am surprised we don’t see much interaction with yuki and Karasu or others in general tbh (maybe it had something to do with his one track mind mindset from the ln because of his eye issues?) wish we had more I need more filler eps honestly also otoya bachira Shidou would probably cause property damage they’d be so out of pocket and chaotic LMAOO

YUKI AGENDA FULLY IN MOTION he was just too beautiful I WAS JUST GONNA BRING UP IGAGURIS FANTASY BECAUSE I FORGOT TO LAST TIME LFMOAAOAAOOAOAIAHSIAOAOAA THAT WAS SO FUNNY FR LIKE WTF the way he imagined Rin smiling and standing all proud like igaguri was his right hand man had me SENDING Shidou as a wingman would be an experience itself like the lead up of prepping for the date would be insane (imagine rseu after oaeu jkjk unless….)

Mmm yuki fic…ok but wait that cast is kinda dangerous wdym Barou as a guard and Karasu taking over yutas role um….that looks like prime swerve material…/j LMAO wait I’m ngl I actually kinda forgot about hollyhock and peregrine while listing that out (clearly) SHDGSHSHS my bad but also wait your workload/plans are kinda insane

ME TOO no because I never would’ve imagined all of our twin moments either like this is insane…Karasu really bringing people together LMAO

- Karasu anon

HAHAHA OMG YAYY i’m glad you like them!! i didn’t want to do smth too complicated given how many characters i’ve written for and probably am still yet to write for…like i know for a fact i’ll need to make barou, yukimiya, and noel noa ones in the future so i didn’t want smth that would waste a ton of time but this is just a simple divider + recolored manga panel (plus unicode for the masterlist label) so it’s really easy to make while still looking nice!!

HAHAH no me too i feel like i generally know what happens in it because of pop culture but when i was younger i didn’t really watch a lot of movies or anything so i never actually watched it!! but omg i just think a shrek and fiona costume for miraeita would eat so hard he would definitely think it’s hilarious (bonus points if we make karasu come with us as the donkey) and HELP satosugu costume with nagi is actually too fire i fear he’s literally the same height as gojo too and he has the pale hair and he’d probably be chill with wearing the outfit becuase it’s just black clothes LMAOAOAO stroke of genius right there

we can only hope 😭🙏🏻 this weekend is halloween weekend so i know for a fact i will be offline because i will be #partyingitup…developing lore most likely 😩 if any guys bother me i’m telling them i have a boyfriend and showing them yukimiya though i am not in the mood after the last time i went out ended up being the basis for the kiyora oneshot 😓

yeahhh i noticed that too i wanted to see karasu being salty and otoya making fun of them…it does feel like they replaced it w the scene in episode one but also i feel like it does a disservice to shidou’s character?? because in the manga they get in a fight because they can’t agree on scoring goals whereas in the show shidou just randomly jumped rin for like no reason SDKFHJS

IT’S LITERALLY THE SAME SHADE AS UNCOOKED KIDNEY BEANS i can’t stop laughing sae slander is so funny but yeah ig barou is just that guy no one can top him or copy him or even that close 😤 speaking of barou i cannot wait for his goal in the u20 match they better put every single drop of their budget into that idc about isagi’s goal or the rin v sae showdown or shidou or whatever just give me five seconds of absolute glory from barou and do justice to the celebration with him nagi karasu (and ig isagi is there too but idc abt him) and i will be happy

HAHAH it’s funny because compared to most of my stories for other fandoms (anything from aot, pomegranate ink, hurricanes/hummingbirds, my one atla fic) karasu bfb is pretty short?? like back in the day i could’ve finished that in a week MAX LMAO i’m getting unproductive 😓 it’s the fall slump happens every year but trust once winter hits i’ll be hit with insane inspiration and write something soul crushing and life changing like pomegranate ink again

yeah the op art style is not for me idk how people simp for characters from it SDKLFJH on the whole i’m more picky about art styles than animation because that’s what matters to me more than the quality of the animation hence why i would rather watch smth like bllk than op even if the animation for op is technically better LMAOOO and yeah i have literally never watched an isekai anime all of my isekai knowledge for the aegislash arc/hollyhock rin is based on those korean villainess manhwas where i’m also really picky about the art style but there’s so many of them that it’s possible to do that

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING like we have a lot of canon evidence of karasu messing with other guys (apparently he was yelling at bachira for being naked and making fun of tokimitsu for not being confident during the day before u20) i think yukimiya is like. the ONLY character we actually never see him slandering or saying anything mean to actually?? probably because there’s nothing TO make fun of SKJDHF but yeah so basically the beef is actually just entirely made up by me but it just always ends up making so much sense that i can’t stop adding it in

LMAO no because karasu barou yukimiya are like the responsible cool adults of bllk (barou = strict father that lowkey also spoils his kids, karasu = problematic fun uncle, yukimiya = role model rich uncle) they would get along so well meanwhile bachira shidou and otoya would be insanely problematic it would just be shidou and bachira randomly getting into beef with strangers and otoya cheering them or like it would otoya trying to teach shidou how to rizz people or smth and bachira critiquing even though he has ZERO experience with which to be critiquing KSLDJFH

SHIDOU IS LIKE AN ANTIWINGMAN TBH LMAOAOA like imagine him introducing a girl to karasu…karasu’s already like bro i am not hearing you out whoever you’ve brought for me is going to be insane if they willingly talk to you 😭 omg wait rseu where it’s the opposite of oaeu and shidou WANTS to set his teammates up with girls and be involved with their love lives but no one trusts him so they’re like “GO AWAY” and he’s like “NO SHE’S PERFECT FOR YOU HEAR ME OUT PLSPLSPLS” and somehow he’s actually right?? like he guess their perfect types every time but no one wants to admit it…wait and instead of aiku + niko we have charles as shidou’s sidekick and instead of being an unpaid intern charles actively makes things more difficult for shidou by ruining his reputation with the bllkers further and making them even less inclined to listen to him

THAT’S LOWKEY WHAT I WAS SAYING like as much as i love yukimiya having karasu and barou also being royal guards would have me SWERVING SO FAST for literally both of them 😭 like serious but gentle guard barou and sassy but talented guard karasu who likes to joke around to make reader feel better when she’s upset??? HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO FALL FOR HIM i think atp if i’m writing for any other character i need to just not even include karasu or nagi in the stories because i WILL swerve for them 100% of the time…barou’s on thin ice i think if it’s just him though i could stay loyal to yukimiya 🤔 wait ykw maybe we should just make the side characters opps so there’s no chance of swerving SLDKJFH change of plans yuta’s role is now going to be isagi and barou is going to be gagamaru (not an OPP per se but irrelevant to the miraverse) /hj okay maybe barou can stay but karasu has got to GO alright wait and instead of otoya as inumaki i’m throwing hiori in because he kinda fits better tbh (he’s not QUITE as mischievous as inumaki but giving hiori a joking side is more believable than giving otoya a serious diplomatic side yk)

HELPP i haven’t even updated peregrine since june and hollyhock since july so i don’t blame you for forgetting abt them anyways yeah the workload is a bit crazy rn hence why i’m trying to not have too many new ideas 😭 also side note ever since posting my masterlists i’ve gotten so many new followers i guess because they probably showed up in the character x reader tags?? so all of my older one shots from the summer are getting revivals (ex fwtkac) which is kinda funny…yk what’s truly insane actually is how popular OTOYA’S bfb is?? i thought the karasu version would be the one that more people read but i think besides seabird the otoya version of bfb might be my bllk fic with the most notes (i’d have to go through and check for sure but yeah) lowkey insane but no complaints ig

REAL i still think it’s crazy how we’re always syncing up…anyways i know i sent you a bazillion tik tok links in the second ask i responded to yesterday (which actually i posted that right as you sent this so ig we were online at the same time LMAO) but here are a few more because the edits are going crazy atm

BAROU EDITTTT bro i feel like i NEVER talk about him outside of our convos but i love him sooo much he’s so fine i don’t understand how he doesn’t have so many more fans

this is fr the audio that plays in my mind when yukimiya comes on the screen LMAOO

THE WAY THEY MADE YUKI SMIRK AGHSHHDSJKSJDNDD thank you 8bit THANK YOU 8BIT 🤩🤩🤩