#actually either way i probably should be eating those bc knowing the people who frequent that pathway

[antelabbitsghost]

ripped my thigh open stealing wild blackberries from my old elementary school without it ever occuring to me that they Might Not Actually Be Blackberries. feel like this explains a lot about me

[sinkix]

Haikyuu!!│Boys going grocery shopping w/ you! HC’s│Ft. Bokuto, Nishinoya, Terushima, Kuroo & Kunimi

I had this late night idea and just HAD to follow through, the chaos would be O F F T H E C H A R T S. Thank you to @deathcab4daddy​ for helping me brainstorm some good characters for this post lmao I love you bby and can’t wait to do a collab. <3

E N J O Y ~ 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

BOKUTO:

WHEN I TELL YOU THIS BOI PICKS UP EVERYTHING IN SIGHT LIKE A 6 YEAR OLD

 I FUCKING MEAN IT.

“(Y/N) we need this” 

“Bokuto we do not need a 7th jar of peanut butter.”

 “But (Y/N) it has a squirrel on the front-”

“BOKUTO I SWEAR TO GOD”

Tries to drift on the edge of the cart like something straight outta CSGO and the cart nearly obliterates under his weight.

V e r y l o u d u n e c c e s s a r i l y.

Everyone always stares at y’all when you’re going through the isles bc ur literally escorting a man-child sprawled in a shopping cart who’s going “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” at everything he sees like he’s a toddler at the zoo who’s never encountered a chimpanzee before.

Unless you have a bottomless bank account do NOT take him shopping of any kind he is LETHAL.

When you’re at the check-out he turns it into a basketball competition and tries to launch everything perfectly on to the conveyor belt.

Volleyball player? Nah this sis with the NBA now.

Do not ask him to go get something, he will return with at least 9 items you didn’t need and everything BUT the item you requested

He turned up with a whole ass pineapple, a jar of jam, a stick of butter and a bottle of olive oil.

Like,,,where is the correlation in those items???

Once made the mistake of asking him to grab some pads from the hygiene section and specified it HAD to be with wings

Boy showed up ten minutes later and looking very confuzzled.

You questioned why he has a pack of wingless pads in one hand and a can of red bull in the other.

He said it’s because they didn’t have any with wings so he figured the Redbull would suffice and do the job for you.

i-

NISHINOYA:

Can literally fit him in the little cart seat made for kids and he LOVES it lmaoooo IT’S SO CUTE MY HEART.

HE JUST SWINGS HIS LEGS EXCITABLY WHILE YOUR GETTING STUFF AAAAAAA

Ppl give you such weird looks though bc you have a guy who’s at least 14 years older than the intended demographic sitting there and raising his hands in elation over you copping a cookie dough pie and chucking it in.

Again, another who is VERY LOUD FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

Get’s out of the cart after a while bc his legs be growing numb and begins roaming around.

Someone came back with a feral Noya in hand stating “Is this your child” WNDKJWEFNWJEF.

M’AM HE’S LIKE 18 EXCUSE YOU.

Was salty about it for the rest of the day.

Just ruffle his hair and call him Senpai 

Problem solved.

Picks up tons of exotic fruit that look more like plastic or fuzzy poisonous plants and begs you to get them.

“Noya what the fuck is that.”

“...a Pitaya.”

“...”

“Can we get it-”

“no.”

“(Y/N)-”

“I SAID NO DAMMIT”

Last time you bought some strange fruit he took it to practise and got Tanaka to spike it LMAOOO

IT SPLATTERED E V E R Y W H E R E

AND OVER DAICHI’S SHIRT.

He begged you to no longer allow Noya to purchase weird fruits from then on since he is like a child with a nerf gun.

He once picked up a phat wrinkly purple fruit and turned to you asking if it was an overgrown raisin.

“Noya sweetie that’s a Date.”

HE FULLY TSK’ED AND THREW IT BACK SINCE IT REMINDED HIM OF DATE TECH I CAN’T.

My boy out here defending Asahi even in the Grocery Isles.

We stan a loyal king.

TERUSHIMA:

Another one who tries to stand on the ledge and the cart wheels almost collapse because it wasn’t designed to hold the weight of a young adult.

Oh young adult??? Sorry I mean’t MAN CHILD.

He treats a shopping experience as a time to practise his aim apparently because he ALWAYS THROWS SHIT AT YOU TO THE POINT YOU’RE THREATENED TO BE KICKED OUT.

Definitely picks up phallic looking objects and places them against his crotch, snorting and saying “Like what you see (Y/N)?”

Homeboy is stood there in front of a wife and child presenting his cucumber appendage for the world to see.

He once grabbed a pair of fat ass melons and pressed them against his chest, shaking them and belting the lyrics to ‘My Milkshake’ while begging you to SQUEEZE HIS MELONS.

“Look (Y/N) they’re bigger than yours!”

I just- 

I give up.

Constantly tries to sneak mutli-packs of energy drinks into the cart to the point you’re convinced he is going to keel over from heart failure and kidney stones by the age of 20.

Has his airpods in 90% of the time and treats the isles as his personal dance floor.

He busting them MOVES and performing the MJ moonwalk while in the dairy section.

ONCE HE SLID TOO FAST AND SLIPPED ON HIS REAR IN FRONT OF LIKE 12 PEOPLE LMAOO

He was DEAD silent the rest of the trip.

Probably the most serene shopping experience you’ve had to date.

The checkout clerks occasionally hit on Mr. Sore-Ass over here.

Until he opens his mouth and they realise he’s a total dolt and question how you have the patience for him.

You don’t know either honestly.

The whole bagging experience is spent with them shooting you sympathetic glances as if to say ‘sis you shoulda’ left him at home’.

Yes, yes you should have.

Never a dull moment with Teru as your shopping partner.

KUROO:

LITERALLY LIKE A MIDDLE-AGED MAN OR A TODDLER WHEN Y’ALL GO SHOPPING THERE IS NEVER AN EVEN MIDDLE-GROUND.

Frequently cracks lame-ass food puns or dad jokes that make you want to crawl into a hole and die.

You have competitions on who can come up with the most and the loser always faces a penalty.

Kuroo and creating penalties do NOT mix safely so you better hope you win.

“I love you a waffle lot.” 

Proceeds to hold up a wrapped waffle.

Ok that one was kinda cute you’ll let it slide.

“I ap-peach-iate you Kuroo.”

Cue HyenaLaugh.mp3

“Want a pizza me baby? Bitch peas, doughnut take me lightly.”

You changed your mind.

You didn’t talk to him the duration of that shopping experience, no penalty could be as horrifying as what just came out of his mouth.

“(Y/N)... sometimes I feel like you don’t carrot all.”

You slapped him with said carrot and obviously had to pay for it after.

You forced him to eat it raw.

He is the definition of Neutral disaster when you go shopping.

Shitty food puns aside, he is actually very responsible when making sure you both get what you need.

Not without tons of poking, prodding, and blowing into your ear while you’re trying to decide what ingredients to buy for dinner.

You contemplated serving him a plate of bubbling snot and moulded broccoli seasoned with rosemary.

Bone apple teeth, bitch.

Ofc you didn’t because he always pulls out the puppy eyes and cuddles card after since he knows he’s well and truly rattled your patience lmao.

Actually picks really healthy food options?? Being the captain of a team he has the responsibility of keeping his health in top condition and leading by example so at least he knows the right ingredients to make a bomb-ass and nutritious meal ig.

Y’all always bicker and tease each other at the checkout which is usually great amusement for the clerk serving you as they often smirk and perceive you as an old married couple.

Which tbh you kinda are, it feels like it at least.

Still such a big asshole though lmao you never leave the store without your sanity being scathed.

KUNIMI:

Honestly just wanted an excuse to make jokes at the expense of the Aoba Johsai teammates.

and what better candidate for cracking these than Kunimi.

He’s a very chill partner to have tag along with you on your endeavours.

Not without some grumbling and groaning on his part though, lazy bitch.

You always finish shopping trips with a busted lung at how much you have been laughing though with some of the SHADY ASS REMARKS HE MAKES ABOUT THE OTHER TEAM MATES.

You were outside the store when you both spotted an angry looking Doberman tied to a nearby post.

“Smh who let Kyotani outside again.”

You hadn’t even set foot in the store yet and he was already spitting flaming insults.

[Walking up to the automatic double doors]

“Damn Oikawa move out of my way.”

Oikawa just tryna live and he keeps getting roasted for his flat cheeks 

#StopOikawaAssShaming

Ten minutes of scouring the store later he picks up a spikey Kiwano and compares it to Iwaizumi’s hair.

Proceeds to beg you not to tell my boy Iwa because he KNOWS he will get decked to the gym floor.

Passers by often wonder why you’re wheezing and producing noises like a boiling kettle.

When I tell you no one is safe, I mean N O O N E.

“These Yule logs really out here looking like Matsukawa’s brows.”

The finisher was when Kunimi picked up a turnip and said 

“Huh, kinda looks like Kindaichi.”

I just-

He could roast a whole chicken in minutes from the burn of these comments I stg.

You can now never look at the Seijou team without various foods or inanimate objects plaguing your thoughts.

Thanks, Kunimi.

[bi-rising]

hey I just saw your post about PCOS being a hormonal issue not a gyno one while I was surfing the tag. I was diagnosed a couple months back and all my gyno did was a 2 min ultrasound and then prescribed me birth control. I would like to have actual help and more info on it but I'm not sure who I'm supposed to go to for that. Seeing as you were in a similar situation I'd appreciate your help.

seems like gynos really suck with pcos, don't they? 🥴 warning you now, this is going to be a very long post, because i'm essentially writing out absolutely everything i did and everything i've learned, so strap in for a ride aldksfjasldf

the first thing to do is research, research, research. i spent a whole week constantly on pcos websites (such as pcosaa and this article, tho fair warning, the article does use academic speech so it might not be the easiest thing to read) and watching videos and doing what i could to inform myself. the way you can know if you're looking at a credible resource is how the source defines pcos: does it pose it as a reproductive system disorder? or an endocrine (hormonal) disorder? if it talks about it as a reproductive system disorder, then it's probably wrong.

please note that i am not, obviously, a medical professional, but this is how i understand pcos works. i'll use me as an example just so i can use first person perspective, but it applies to pcos patients in general.

so, my cells are insulin resistant. that means that when i eat, my body releases, lets say, 100 (x measurement) of insulin. because my cells are insulin resistant, they say "hey, i'm only gonna use 50x of that insulin". but they still NEED that 100x to function. so my body releases ANOTHER 100x of insulin, so my cells go "ok i'll take 50x" and so while my cells now have the 100x they're supposed, to i now have 100x insulin floating around.

that extra insulin not only wreaks havoc on many systems of the body, it is the reason why most people with pcos that goes untreated end up with type 2 diabetes. the extra insulin is also converted (or spurs the creation of? i'm not entirely certain on the how here) into testosterone and other androgen (male) hormones. so your body has too much insulin, and now it has too much testosterone, too. that extra testosterone is what fucks with your reproductive system and prevents the follicles on your ovaries from maturing (which is what the 'cysts' are). it also often creates increased facial hair, acne (especially on the 'beard line'), and worse body odor. between the testosterone and the insulin, it's nigh impossible to lose weight.

also note that because your body has to release more insulin for your cells to get an adequate amount, you likely crave carbs and sugars (salty/crunchy things and sweets), and you're likely frequently fatigued, bc your body isn't, well, working correctly and it's taking more energy to perform basic functions.

secondly, take all this information that you know to your doctor. i legitimately wrote down some notes about this process in a little notebook and took it with me so that i wouldn't forget/get too anxious to bring any of it up. i also wrote down the things i had been doing to help up to that point (working out, what my diet was, etc etc) and what i was concerned about. lastly, i also wrote down what medications and supplements i had heard of in my research to see what my doctor thought of them.

my doctor's first 'attack' choice is ozempic--it's a weekly shot that helps to regulate insulin levels and also is pretty good at helping weight loss. be aware though that most commercial insurances don't pay for this, but if your doctor is good, they'll try to work around that so that you're not paying a frankly outrageous amount for it. also look out for sometime this fall, my doc said that the ozempic manufacturers are trying to get ozempic approved for weight loss (it's approved for other things) and that should help bring the price down?? anyway, that's my doc's preferred method, but because of my finances, we currently can't do that.

his second attack, which i'm now on, is metformin. it's a medication mostly used for diabetics that helps with blood sugar levels which, again, is that insulin issue. my mom has been on it for 14 years bc diabetes runs in our family anyway, so it's perfectly safe for long time use and definitely helps with keeping either away from or within the pre-diabetes phase. again, i've only been on it now two days so i can't say anything for me but we'll see how it goes lmao

he also approved of me using omega 3 (fish pills) supplements because they help balance things out in general, not just pcos, and he was good with me using spearmint, too. i'm starting out on one cup of spearmint tea a day and see how that effects me, but i've heard of people having up to two spearmint supplement pills and a cup of spearmint tea a day, too. spearmint is a 'defense', as far as i can explain it: it has (tho limited) research that it lowers the testosterone levels in women with pcos. so while it doesn't help with the insulin so it doesn't attack the source, it can help with the testosterone aspect, aka facial hair, acne, etc. i've also heard of cinnamon supplements and inositol supplements helping, but i didn't get a chance to ask about either of those from my doctor, so make sure if you want to give those a try, you talk about them and make sure they won't interfere with any of your other medications and get your doctor's approval on them, first.

thirdly, ask about what else you can do to help yourself. my doctor stressed the importance of a proper night's sleep, as well as advised to try to cut back on carbs and sugars (IMPORTANT NOTE: some people claim that you HAVE to be on a keto diet to get results with pcos. WRONG. please don't do this. keto diets are entirely unsustainable. and cutting back on carbs and sugars does not mean cutting them OUT, it just means if you want a snack, try reaching for a protein or a vegetable instead of a carb. but don't limit yourself!! please, be conscious about what you eat, and remember that sometimes yeah, a slice of cake or a serving of chips isn't going to kill you or set your pcos back. don't risk getting an e.d. just for the sake of your pcos). he also told me that the best exercise that i personally should do is either HIIT exercises or cardio, and to do at least an hour a day, even if it's 30 mins in the morning, 30 in the evening--and to work up to that so even doing ten minutes a day, then increasing it from there, is healthier and better than jumping straight into a whole ass hour. he also told me to aim for a certain heartrate. i don't remember the formula he used, but for me at 22 (based on age) he wanted me to try to aim for 150-160 bpm. again, especially with exercise, that was what he recommended for me. you're likely different from me, so ask your doctor and see what he says.

fourthly, and perhaps most importantly, DON'T BOTHER WITH A GYNO. all of this that i've gotten done for me was from my family doctor, so just the guy i go to for yearly check ups. see if you can do some routine blood work to give him (or her) as wide of a picture as possible, and then go in and talk with a regular doctor about this. a friend of mine also has a friend who actually goes to an endocrinologist to get her pcos sorted out, so that's also an option. gynos seem to just treat the symptoms; birth control gives you a regular period by helping with your estrogen, but that doesn't decrease your testosterone OR do anything with the insulin. my doc is keeping me on birth control pills just so that i have a regular cycle so we can watch and see if anything else happens to it, so it's okay to stay on the birth control, but ultimately, birth control pills don't do anything for pcos.

i know it's difficult and probably kinda scary/anxiety inducing if you're younger or just have anxiety, but you've gotta advocate for yourself in this case. you have to show the doctor that you know what you're talking about and that you're able to call him out on his bullshit if he doesn't take you seriously. also, if your doctor is helpful, don't be afraid to be frank with him about what your gyno did. like i've said with my experience, i got the validation of knowing that my gyno was wrong by explaining to my doctor how he treated me. you deserve better than what your gyno did, and you deserve to actually be treated as a person and your disorder be taken seriously.

i'm wishing you the best of luck, and i hope that you'll be able to get the help that you need 💕💕💕

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #332

i’m even more tired than before to try and think up song lyrics, i’m pasting from Word and then fucking off to bed lmao.

What was the last video message you received on your phone? I think it was a clip of Doris (Sara's beardie) eating and just being her perfect self? Was your last birthday cake homemade or store bought? Store-bought. One thing you miss about middle school? Shit, nothing. Middle school was the worst. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people? No. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. Would you ever pierce yourself? No. I am very much about having a professional do your body mods/art. Plus, I have tremors in my hands. Do you live in a safe neighbourhood? Supposedly. We haven't lived here nearly long enough to know. What is the last thing you did that shocked someone? /shrug Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Only always. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yeah. Do you like your license photo? I hate my permit picture. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favorite? Not very, but I like 'em enough. I always say my favorite is Deadpool, but I know he's technically an anti-hero, but whatever. If you don't include him, uhhhh... maybe Spiderman. Have you started watching any new TV shows recently? No. Have you ever been able pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? No. :( At least, not to my recollection. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. There's actually a winter treat 'round here that you make with snow and sugar called snow cream. Good stuff. What is the messiest area in your home? Right now, the spare room/my wanna-be "office." What’s your favorite computer game genre? Still horror, like video games. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? I'm completely financially dependent on them still. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I eat like, stupid fast, but without being messy. People *cough*Mom*cough* will absolutely point it out, but I seriously can't help it. Making a conscious effort to eat slow feels way too weird. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Tell me what's on your mind? I've been considering yet again reaching out to some tattoo parlors and asking if they're open to hiring someone to handle the front desk and take care of business besides actually performing piercing and tattooing, given my tremors. My group therapy has kinda been encouraging me to use the possibility for social exposure, and besides, I'm very comfortable in the environment and just general aura of tat parlors. I'm sure I'd have to answer the phone, handle money, and obviously talk to costumers, but I know and accept that. I've been at such a stagnant point with my social anxiety in particular that I have to start pushing back harder, and doing this I feel would be one of the most relaxed, social job positions I can hopefully handle. I don't dare to even try this though until I get vaccinated to protect my immunocompromised mom. Writing this all out has actually been pretty encouraging about this idea... Do you wish you never dated someone you dated? Yeah, Tyler. It was such a "I'm lonely and he was nice in high school, so we'll try it" situation. I got nothing from it. Are you scared of growing old alone? Pretty badly. What are you listening to right now? I'm listening to/semi-watching John Wolfe play the remaster of Resident Evil 2. What breed was the last dog you saw? He was a German shepherd. Would you ever go swimming during a thunderstorm? No. Any time a thunderstorm was brewing and I was in the pool, I'd always get out. What is the next concert you will attend? Mom and I plan to see Ozzy when/if he reschedules his tour after he had to cancel with his Parkinson's diagnosis. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :/ What's the highest science class you have taken? I don't know, actually. What makes you squeal like a school girl? No shame, seeing Mark and Amy do something cute together actually does this, lmao. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) Do fictional ones count? Because in that case, the Halo of the Sun from the Silent Hill franchise. I'm getting it tattooed somewhere at some point, I'm thinking the left side of my neck. I'm either gonna fashion it in a way where it looks branded on or carved into me. Have you ever been on anti depressants? For all of my pre-teen, teen, and some of my adult life. Apparently, I've only had one truly educated psychiatrist out of no less than a dozen I'd seen, because he fixed me right up. He taught me that those who suffer from bipolarity should avoid anti-depressants; they ramp up your bipolar symptoms. Instead, mood stabilizers are favorable. And what do you know, after I was prescribed a stabilizer and a catalyst for that medication, my depression decreased dramatically and became handleable. Have you ever starved yourself? Kinda. What’s the stupidest name you’ve ever given a pet? I had a guinea pig named Harry Potter. For no particular reason lmao. I'm not even a Harry Potter fan. Do you have nice legs? God no. Do you like fedoras? Okay so I know I am in the strong minority, but I actually do, haha. What is your favorite food group? Carbs. @_@ Have you ever got told that you should be a model? No, but one of the most flattering indirect compliments I've ever gotten was being mistaken for one. Jason's phone wallpaper was one of my favorite pictures of myself with my first snake, and someone asked him if I was a model. ;v;' What song is in a language you don’t speak, but you love it anyway? "Donaukinder" by Rammstein is one of my faves. Who’s a villain you sympathize with and why? SOBS Darkiplier bc his origins are so damn tragic and unfair. What book do you think should be directed as a film? Was The Giver ever made into one? I don't remember that book well, but I do recall it being absolutely beautiful. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? No. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Yeah. I have thousands on the Silent Hill wiki, where I'm one of the admins. I'm also a content moderator at the Team Ico (Shadow of the Colossus devs) one. Every now and again I used to go on the meerkats wiki as well, where I mainly fixed the fucking nightmarish grammar. Very briefly, I edited at the Dragons of Atlantis wiki as well. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? Not very, but of course I still acknowledge the risk and am more conscious of hand washing and stuff. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? Snapchat, I don't actually use my Twitter, I don't have a personal Instagram... There may be more, idk. Is TikTok a "social media platform?" Because I don't have that, either. What was the name of the first porcelien doll you got? Never had one, given I was afraid of dolls as a kid. What’s your favorite Paramore song? "Decode." Would you be happy with a life without romance? To be entirely honest, I'd feel like I was missing something. Was your childhood happy? Mostly. What fundamentally matters do you? Love, kindness, peace, all that gooey stuff. Is true world peace ever possible? As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think so. The human population is far too big to come to a unanimous agreement on anything. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yeah. Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No. I'm getting more into the idea of owning invertebrates (I jabber enough about wanting tarantulas, and there are others, like mantises, I'm interested in as pets), but black widows, I'm not into the idea of having. Too venomous for me to be comfortable risking. If you have a job, what is the longest shift that you've worked? N/A Do you know all of the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody?" FUCK YES I DO. ^ Do you sing it with all of the different voices? sho nuff Do you own more than one copy of a certain book? No. Do you like interpreting poetry or just reading it for fun? Both. I love symbolism, so I get joy out of digging for subtle meanings in poems. Do you have a favorite Dr. Suess book? Yeah, it was always Green Eggs and Ham. Do you watch The Walking Dead? If so, favorite character? Not the show, but I've watched let's plays of the games, haha. In which case Clementine is inarguably one of the best female characters in a video game universe. Who has/had the most mature romantic relationship you’ve seen with your own eyes? Uhhh. I mean I never saw them much, but probably my late grandmother and her last husband. He was fucking incredible to her, and Grammy adored him as well. They helped each other so much and just obviously had the purest love between them. When was the last time you got something for free (legally)? What was it & have you enjoyed it so far? Lmao do balls in Pokemon GO count? Their occasional free boxes are the reason I can play the game because PokeStops are essentially non-existent here, so yes. What is the one fruit you can’t stand to eat? How about vegetable? The first one that came to me were oranges. I enjoy orange juice, but I just caaaaannot with the white veiny shit that you can't totally get off when peeling it. Without that, I might actually enjoy them, but idk. As for vegetable, asparagus is absolutely abhorrent. When’s the last time you actually recited the pledge? If you aren’t American, do/did you have anything similar in your country that you do during a time at school? Probably not since high school. Last person you shared food with? Ummm I have no idea. It's really just Mom and me here and we eat our own stuff. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? I believe it waaas... "Down In The Park" by Marilyn Manson, maybe. If your life was a TV show, what would be the theme song? My inner high school emo just screamed "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Gahdamn, there's a lot. I don't feel like going through a mental list in my head and then describing why. A character (in anything) you wish hadn’t been killed off? Vol'jin; I think the entire WoW fanbase will forever be pissed about it. It was THE most "lul we dunno what 2 do w/ him anymore, let's let a totally random, unnamed, unimportant demon kill him" like what the fuck, Blizz. Most of his "oomph" was in the book, and I just really wish they'd done so much more with him in the game. Has anything “cute” happened in the past week? Off the top of me noggin, no. When did you last say “I love you”? Did you mean it? Yesterday to Sara. OF course I did. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Hi, PTSD, how are ya. Have you ever slept all day? Essentially. When I was on a larger dose of my anxiety med, I physically couldn't stay up for barely even five minutes, and when I'd lie back down, boom, I was OUT. I stayed on that dosage for I think just that one day, it was so bad. Can you have kids? Well, I have a functioning menstrual cycle, so I would assume so. Doesn't mean I will, though. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Only black. Do you like eating sour things? Hell yeah, I love sour stuff, candy in particular. Do you like pickles? fuuuuck yeah Did you ever have a really close friend move away? Yeah, in elementary school. I feel bad I can't remember her name at the moment... What's the most creative thing you've ever done? I mean, I guess the things I've written in RP. What's the most creative thing someone has done for you? For me? I don't really know. Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows? Sure, they're some of my favorites. What’s something you’d like to be better at? Social interaction. Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? Yeah. Do you think you would make a good parent? No. I know I wouldn't. The only time I ever wanted kids was with Jason, and honestly, I really hope I don't end up with a man because I never want to deal with that urge again and make a mistake. I'm just in no way emotionally fit to be a mother. How many best friends do you have? Just one. What do you cry over the most? My PTSD, honestly. I never sob about it anymore, just shed some tears. What language did/do you take in high school? Latin for one semester, then all four available for German. Which sports do you follow? None. Who was the last person you talked about marriage or having kids with? About marriage, Sara. Kids, the subject was lightly touched upon with Girt, though "with" was never a part of it, but obviously implied seeing as we were dating with long-term in mind. Have you ever been in a house fire? No, thankfully. Have you ever made out for one straight hour? them is rookie numbers Are you any good at remembering phone numbers? No. I literally don't even know my own, nor my mother's. I need to fix that. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt. Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? No. If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Save it to go towards Venus' terrarium. Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? Well of course! I'm unashamed to watch any "kids" movie I enjoy, like Disney ones. Most "kids" movies tend to be better than those intended for adults, it seems... Are you afraid of mice? Oh no, I adore mice and I think had a pair as pets before I got rats. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I can't really answer this; I haven't gone on nearly enough vacations to develop a theme. I can say confidently though it'd probably be something small. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? One or two with Sara, yes. I know we at least watched the weeping angels episode. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Warriors by S.E. Hinton. Sometimes I wanna get back into them, but I am YEARS behind and more into Wings of Fire anyway, so. I don't read nearly enough for both. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Literally no trick seems to work for me. I just suffer lmao.

[feuilletoniste]

Are you genuinely stupid? Being a pedophile online is dangerous bc fiction does affect reality and yall are constantly grooming children too. I dont want to hear that pedophilia is the same as being lgbt either bc it isnt being lgbt isnt inherently being attracted to people who have no ability to consent. You are really gross and if you really are a pedophile please seek out help...

This is like an example bingo card, lol.

Quick question for you, Anon -- if places like the AO3 are such bastions of CSEM, why has no one, and I do mean no one, ever done anything about it? Surely the FBI would want to take down such an incriminating site, right? If this content is soo harmful, why has nothing been done -- and, in fact, why would organizations dedicated to prosecuting actual predators continuously say that they don’t want to be sent examples or art or fiction? Riddle me that, okay? I’ll accept your answers on my desk next Monday.

“Being a pedophile online is dangerous”: It’s no more dangerous than being anyone else online, Anon. “Being a pedophile” does not predicate being a child molester, or someone who actively seeks out minors to groom and abuse; it simply means that you have an attraction. You might be conflating that word with someone who has pedophilic disorder, which is marked by uncontrollable impulses lasting longer than six months -- I’m not a medical professional, but this is easily accessible information if you bother to read it properly. Just because someone is attracted to a certain demographic does not mean they will ipso facto be a creep about it. Got it?

“bc fiction does affect reality”: Actually, I’m doubling down on my spitballing from a couple of days ago. Fiction is inherently neutral. It has the ability to influence people, who can then influence reality, but words on a page are not going to physically leap up and smack you, or rape you, or kill you, because that’s not possible. You’re removing the middleman here. Don’t do that, please. The cause of abuse is abusers, not whatever influenced them to abuse someone. That’s a typical justification tactic. We can certainly look into what influences might have contributed to the abuse -- in fact, I strongly encourage it -- but the influences themselves are not to blame for the actions of a person. Mind control isn’t real, and brainwashing doesn’t work like Hollywood thinks it does.

“and yall are constantly grooming children”: Constantly? Yowch. Don’t we ever take a break to sleep or eat or go to work? (NB, no clue who “yall” are, here.)

“I dont want to hear that pedophilia is the same as being lgbt either”: And that’s fine. If someone is saying that, I encourage you to unfollow and/or block them. Mute certain words, blacklist certain others; the tools of the Internet and social media are at your disposal, Anon.

“bc it isnt being lgbt isnt inherently being attracted to people who have no ability to consent”: I don’t think I ever argued that pedophilia should be included under the LGBT acronym -- in fact, I don’t much care for the LGBT acronym, myself. If I ever did draw a connection, it was probably to say that people draw that connection, quite frequently actually. You do know queer history, right? You do know what religious groups have been saying about us for ages, right?

“You are really gross and if you really are a pedophile please seek out help...”: I personally think I’ve made it abundantly clear that I am in no way shape or form interested in children, yet somehow this misconception abounds. It’s nice that you think I should get help, though. Here’s a bit of personal information for you, Anon -- I’ve been seeing a therapist, taking medications, and managing my of experiences since (probably) before you were born. Do you seriously think I would have gotten this far in life without any of those things? I mean, who do you think I am, a white man, or something? Sorry, neither!

I do always find it hilarious when these messages close with ad hominem. Do you think I’m going to take you more seriously because you called me gross and told me I need help? Honey, get real. I don’t care what you think about me, because I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. Don’t waste your time.

[chuuguins]

weird asks that say a lot for LUNA: 4, 8, 9, 12, 15, 19, 21, 29, 32 and 36

oh this is fun !! i’ve never really answered questions abt myself on here so...

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

depends on the school probably. i switched schools about seven times between the ages of 5 & 11 so i had a lot of different teachers. probably annoying, easily distracted and awkward. honestly, i have no idea?? one of my teachers probably would have described me as clingy because i really liked her haha.

8. movies or tv shows?

both, but i also go through phases. right now i’d say tv shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

okay, this is going to sound kinda weird but...the air. there’s just this smell in the air that is...summer to me? it smells like sunshine. god, this sounds so stupid. fresh grass is a great smell, let’s go with that.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

i don’t have creative playlist names so this isn’t that interesting but it’s probably my kpop playlist which is named ‘k-bops’ bc...it’s full of bops?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

i was really good at not reading the books we were assigned bc i was extremely lazy. the two i remember actually reading were the outsiders and the wave. the outsiders is obviously a classic that everyone should read, but the wave was an interesting one. it’s a novelisation of a teleplay and it’s basically about a teacher who does a social experiment with his class and it goes too far. i think it’s also based on a true story? it was REALLY interesting. theer’s also a film version. i would read it again. 

actually, i always think more about the plays that we performed or read in drama. the laramie project, blackrock and eating the wolf are the ones i remember the most and definitely pieces of creative work that i would revisit. the film version of blackrock has a small appearence of health ledger, fun fact!

19. sleeping position?

i don’t understand people who can fall asleep on their backs. i have to sleep on my side cuddling a stuffed animal (i rotate between two). i also move a lot during the night.

21. obsession from childhood?

so many things! i’ve always been an obsessive person i guess. is this just your way of getting me to admit that i was a horse girl? let’s just list some off then. the little mermaid, horses (the saddle club), high school musical, disney channel in general, hairspray, rockfish (basically the christian version of h-i5!). idek so many things. i often got really fixated on strange, niche things as well. i once wrote a crossover fanfiction between high school musical and bridge to terabithia. yep.

29. best way to bond with you?

talk to me about your feelings or let me ramble about a mutual interest. i can bond with you really quickly if we talk about kpop (esp if you’re into girl groups) but i think having deep conversations about feelings is a big one. i like listening and helping people and i love encouraging them and cheering them up so i’ve found these things make me bond with people faster. 

32. top five favorite vines?

despite being a frequent tiktok watcher (yeah yeah, i know) i actually never watched vines. not much anyway. the only vine i can think of and frequently quote is the one where that australian kid goes “pepsi bottle. coca cola glass. i don’t give a damn!” 

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

i have no idea but it was definitely one of those ones with the white block text on the top and bottom and an image in the middle like that baby with the fist or whatever?

send me some weird questions either abt me or an oc !!

[cchilyoja]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   tagged by the always wonderful @foxcharmed tagging:    anyone that follows me, sees this on their dash & wants to do it :)

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO. Well, he is the main character of the show, but seeing as there’s only me & @legcndreportr that write character from the show, I’d say, the RP fandom for it is tiny, but I think a lot of people that watch dramas like the show & the characters.

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I mean, he’s played by Ji Chang Wook, I mean, obviously yes. Have you seen just how many fan JCW blogs there are on this site? Understandable. Honestly, and truly.  ]

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I’d say he’s very skilled & flawed. There are many things that he can do, many things that he is good at, but the slew of both traumatic and just plain shitty things that had happened to him over the early years of his childhood, combined with HUGE abandonment issues that he has never really dealt with. All of that can make certain mundane things a lot harder than any 007 stuff that he sometimes does. ]

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I think, even though I love the character, obv been RPing him for years. I hate that people don’t STAN the other characters as much, especially the other main female characters that are just as interesting, complex and worth loving. But alas that is the world we live in. ]

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO,he is the main story, if you know what I mean. But no, seriously, he is the main character. 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ Yeah, but tbh, I find it that in the show, the two main characters are equally sorted in the first place, Jung-hoo is nothing without Young-shin. There would be no development, no revelation about his life, childhood and interesting complex storytelling and showing without her.  ]

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. [ One would assume that I should put YES for this, buuuut, while HEALER is known to the criminal underbelly, police and those that would want or need to hire someone like him, the general public has no idea. Which is exactly what he wants, because attention isn’t really a useful thing in his line of work, or just the way he lives his life.  ]

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ Good when it comes to how skilful he is, but bad as a person. His character arc really goes a looong way from where he is in episode 1. Like the first thing we see is him playing a tennis VR game, complaining that he can’t pick the character he is playing against to have less clothes (that being a computer-generated character but still), which isn’t really all that interesting and for sure not someone I’d be all into writing. And also his lack of care when it comes to what he does, like the guy he was protecting also in ep 1. Ends up dead, and he’s annoyed bc the police think he killed him, the fact that he’s dead, he couldn’t care less. ]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —   I’ve been writing him for over two years, and it’s just no fun to just follow the canon. He has developed overtime on his own, and besides that, I just never really like any CANON fully. When it comes to the show, bc there are only 16 eps, and as with most dramas there is only one season. So I’ve taken the liberty to expand on the canon and to create Jung-hoo as I think he’d be, away from the scenes we can see him in.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —   For me personally, I really found it interesting that the mother that abandoned him, married someone else and had a whole new family, after his father died. Jung-hoo cares for her, meets with her, gives her money etc. He doesn’t hate or resent her, I think that shows a lot of compassion but also emotional intelligence. He has this me vs the world outlook, way of life, mentally, however you want to call it, but is in desperate need for someone to SEE him. Like acknowledge his existence, to stay, to love him. He is incredibly skilled & capable, everything you’ve seen 007 do, he does it better. Also I’ve made sure to include diverse verses so there is a way to explore pretty much anything under the sun that you could think of.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —  I think he can’t really move past the whole I hate everyone & I need someone. So he goes back and forth, it is difficult to create a meaningful connection. I’ve been lucky to do that but that’s also bc I’ve written with some people here for years. 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   I had taken a few years break from RP, which used to be like one of my main interests, writing in general. And then I was getting into just watching Kdramas, watched HEALER, and I was instantly like I HAVE TO WRITE HIM, and never looked back really. 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   Auditory stimuli, be it music or just sounds. For example, when I write I tend to use programs or websites where you can put different sounds in the background like thunder, rain, wind, chatter etc. Watching yt clips, seeing people on my dash tbh, like people that I follow also inspire me bc they make me go I WANNA WRITE WITH ALL OF THEM.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ I think I tend to have all of these feelings, sometimes I’m like, yeah, this is Jung-hoo, this is exactly what I wanted, sometimes I’m like who am I writing? But I just focus more on me enjoying writing him, than thinking if people think I write him as they think I should.]

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [I have a bunch of headcanons about like the smallest of things, like the fact that I don’t think he likes wearing socks is one of them, but,  I don’t write them or post them on here. I’m not sure why, I guess I prefer to sort of just sprinkle them in the threads??? ]

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO [ Kinda. I also write fanfiction & I had started this original one with sort of Jung-hoo in mind but not really him. I realized I really like writing starters, I think that’s probably like an unpopular opinion or way of thinking but I really enjoy starting the thread, and I kinda sometimes think starters are like drabbles, I’m not making sense. ]

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [ Depends on my mental state. Like sometimes 100% and then other times it’s like what am I even doing?? ]

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. [ I enjoy how I write, if that makes sense. I’d like to think that I can switch it up now and again, keep it fresh, I def know that I’ve evolved over the course of the years I’ve been RPing ]

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   Sure. I’m fine with that. I just think that the INTERNET does not know how to compute that, or people on the internet. It’s either, you can do no wrong or you should die a horrible death. It’s like either STAN or HATE. And it’s also somehow part of the rp community here on Tumblr. Where there’s just either fake praise or just unnecessary hate. And then there is a bit in the middle where like you can talk and exchange ideas and thoughts. But it is not the main focus by any means. If anyone wants to tell me to change something, or to do something diff, sure, let me hear you out, you might inspire me to improve. But that rarely happens. 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — Of course, I think a lot of people are like this. Talking about my character gives me muse for the character. Like we could be talking how he’d eat a salad and I’d be like, okay now I have to write a novella about this other thing I’m inspired about. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  That’s weird to me just bc I feel like when I read someones headcanon, this is how they, and them uniquely see the character, so I can’t really disagree with that, I can have an opinion for sure. But that’s like someone being I like this band, and you say, no you don’t, it just doesn’t make sense to me.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  Same with the previous one. Like I often find blogs where they are writing a character that I either love from a show, move, book whatever, or it’s a canon type character that I find really interesting, like the idea behind it, but then I read their writing and then I go, aaaah okay nooo, no NO. And it’s never personal, it’s like, we ain’t gonna mesh, which is fine. And if someone is like that with my writing, fully understandable, just don’t be a dick about it, and we’ll be cool.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  Couldn’t really give less of a shit really. RP to me is this little bubble where I am this fictional person that can do and try everything. It is in no way connected to any other aspect of actual reality or my life. The only connection is if I have to take a hiatus or smth, but like even if I write OOC things, it’s about IC stuff. I have other social medial for real life, this is just my RP bubble. So if someone is wasting their time hating a fictional character, they have bigger fish to fry. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —   Sure, English isn't my first language so mistakes happen. If I see someone make a mistake and the write with me, I just change it when I reply to them, but I don’t point it out bc you never know, someone people could be okay cool thanks, and someone else could really feel down on themselves, which would be bad, and I wouldn’t want that to happen.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  —  I’d like to think so, especially that I’m easy to approach and talk to. I don’t take many things seriously, not just on here but like in life. So I’m always open to any idea anyone might have. I’ve been lucky with the people that I’ve been following & those that have followed me, a huge percentage is just really dope people, nice to read their writing, nice to talk to, great to write with. And I hope that it stays that way, so we can also have this as some kind of mental break from life :) 

[sybcritics-blog]

( lee jooheon, cismale, he/him, 24. ) — CHOI JUNGWOO, better known to the authorities as VULCAN, has been working for the kumiho for around SIX YEARS as a JANITOR. rumor has it, they can be DARING & KALEIDOSCOPIC but also IRASCIBLE & SYBARITIC which is why blood-stained hands, all black wardrobes, crooked smirks, and weaponry makes me think of them.

hey  demons,  it  me,  ya  girl,  gem  ...  back  at  it  again,  only  this  time  my  character  is  worst  than  the  first  one.  which  is  saying  something  because  oof  minwoo  was  an  absolute  disaster  !  so  if  that  gives  you  any  idea  as  to  how  this  shithead  is  gonna  be,  that  should  be  a  clue  !  

again,  his  whole  backstory  isn't  completely  figured  out  but  i  have  what  i've  already  figured  out  below  the  cut,  as  well  as  his  basic  information,  personality  &  some  wanted  plots  i  have  for  him  ! 

if  you  want  to  plot  with  this  lil  pyro,  smash  that  like  button  &  i'll  come  to  you  !  or  of  course,  if  you  like  d*scord  better  than  tumblr  feel  free  to  add  me  on  there  (  @𝕨𝕚𝕟𝕂𝕃𝔼𝕍𝕠𝕊𝕊!#9330 )  &  we  can  plot  from  there  !

                                         BASIC INFORMATION.

full  name:  choi  jungwoo. nickname(s):  jun,  woo. age:  twenty-four. date  of  birth:  october  31st. birthplace:  daegu,  south  korea. current  location:  seoul,  south  korea. ethnicity:  korean. nationality:  korean. gender:  cismale. pronouns:  he  /  him  /  his. orientation:  pansexual. crew  position:  janitor. occupation:  instagram  model  /  youtuber.  (  eboy  basically  ig  ) language(s)  spoken: korean,  english,   chinese,  japanese,  spanish,  greek,  thai  &  french.

                                    PHYSICAL  APPEARANCE.

face  claim:  lee  jooheon  (  joohoney  )  of  monsta  x. hair  color:  changes  frequently,  currently  dark  brown. eye  color:  brown. height:  6  '  1  ". weight:  175. build:  athletic. tattoos:  far  too  many  to  count. piercings:  multiple  in  his  ears,  a  tongue  piercing,  nipple  piercings,  a  scar  on  his  right  brow  from  an  old  brow  piercing.

                                                       HEALTH.

physical  ailments:  alcohol  abuse,  drug  abuse  & lactose  intolerance. neurological  conditions:  back  pain  &  occasional  migraines. allergies:  pollen,  mold,  dairy,  shellfish. sleeping  habits: 3-4  hours  a  night,  restless. eating  habits:  mostly  junk  food,  fast  food  &  take-out  but  he  does  enjoy  going  to  fancy  places  every  once  in  a  while  as  well  as  cooking  meals  at  home. exercise  habits:  jogs  every  morning,  is  in  a  boxing  group  that  meets  every  week. body  temperature: hot  natured. addictions:  alcohol,  tobacco,  drugs  &  sex. drug  use: frequent. alcohol  use: frequent.

                                          PERSONALITY. ( PT 1. )

label:  the  cataclysmic. positive  traits:  daring  &  kaleidoscopic. negative  traits:  irascible  &  sybaritic. fears:  large  bodies  of  water. hobbies:  boxing,  card  games,  video  games,  reading,  cooking,  comic  books,  jogging. habits: tbd. quirks:  tbd.

                                                 FAVORITES.

season:  fall. color(s):  black,  red,  green. music:  isn’t  super  picky,  doesn't  care  for  country. movies:  mostly  action,  suspense,  horror  &  comedy. sport(s):  watches  baseball  &  hockey. beverage(s):  anything  but  sparkling  water. food:  fast  food. animal:  dogs.

                                                     FAMILY.

father: tba. mother: tba. sibling(s):  younger sibling, nineteen. children:  n/a. pet(s):  german  sheppard  puppy. family’s  financial  status:  upper  class.

                                                     EXTRAS.

zodiac sign:  scorpio. mbti:  entp-a.  (  the  debater  ) enneagram:  type  eight. (  the  challenger  ) temperament:  choleric. hogwarts  house:  slytherin. moral  alignment:  chaotic neutral. primary  vice:  lust. primary  virtue:  pride. element: fire.

                                                BIOGRAPHY.

born  in  daegu  sk  to  a  lawyer  and  a  police  officer,  jun's  life  was  always  pretty strict.

they  always  made  sure  he  was  living  like  they  wanted  him  to,  cracking  down  and  making  sure  he  was  behaving  &  that  his  grades  were  at  the  top  of  his  class.

little  did  they  know  that  their  son  found  ways  around  having  to  obey  everything  they  said,  sneaking  out  of  his  bedroom  window  to  roam  the  streets  of  daegu  in  the  middle  of  the  night  &  things  like  that.

that's  also  where  he  first  found  his  interest  in  fire,  seeing  people  mess  with  small  bonfires  /  fireworks  all  the  time  caused  him  to  grow  curious.

so  one  night  on  one  of  his  adventures,  he  approached  a  group  of  kids  that  were  probably  only  a  few  years  older  than  him  and  they  allowed  him  into  their  group  &  allowed  him  to  start  messing  with  the  fireworks  himself.

it  was  from  that  moment  on  that  he  started  to  rebel  a  little  bit  more  with  each  day  that  passed,  eventually  sneaking  out  &  staying  gone  the  entire  night  only  to  sneak  back  up  through  his  window,  get  2  hrs  of  sleep  and  then  head  to  school.

parents  never  figured  out  about  it  though,  he  was  good  at  lying  to  them  &  anyone  with  any  sort  of  'authority'  so  he  was  able  to  continue  pleasing  them  &  pretending  to  be  this  pefect  son  all  while  living  the  life  he  actually  wanted  to  live.

the  only  thing  that  came  as  a  shock  to  his  parents  was  him  moving  out  at  the  age  of  sixteen,  getting  his  own  apartment  and  whatnot  so  he'd  stop  having  to  hide  how  he  wanted  to  live  or  have  to  sneak  out  of  his  own  home.

however,  to  them,  they  just  thought  he  wanted  to  become  more  of  an  adult  &  so  they  never  really  questioned  it  or  checked  up  on  him  without  warning.

he  had  just  turned  eighteen  when  he  was  approached  by  the  mastermind  after  getting  into  a  fight  at  a bustling  club,  leaving  the  other  person  laid  out  on  the  ground  while  jun  barely  had  any  injuries  whatsoever.  

the  mastermind  offered  a  job,  keep  people  quiet  or  clean  up  after  the  ones  who  can't  and  you'll  get  paid  shit  tons  of  money...  who  was  jun  to  turn  that  offer  down?

a  few  months  after  that  is  when  his  instagram  persona  started  forming,  posting  his  outfits  on  the  app  started  to  cause  people  to  follow  him  &  ask  for  more...  n  before  he  knew  it,  he  was  getting  agents  messaging  him  offering  to  be  HIS  agent  &  allow  him  to  make  even  more  money  just  by  posting  the  simplest  of  things  on  a  daily  basis.

again,  who  was  he  to  really  turn  down  the  offer?  especially  considering  the  fact  he'd  already  grown  a  taste  for  all  things  expensive.

&  thus,  jun's  double  life  began  once  more,  though  this  time,  both  sides  of  his  life  were  things  he  truly  enjoyed.

                                       PERSONALITY. ( PT 2. )

the  Worst...

short-tempered  as  heck,  will  snap  on  people  for  breathing  in  his  direction  wrong  if  he's  in  one  of  those  moods...

loves  violence... it's  a  problem.  will be  that  asshole  who  starts  bar  fights  just  so  he  can  fight  someone  ksfjghsdf

.... if  you  haven't  figured  it  out,  the  boy  loves  to  play  with  fire.  constantly  burns  stuff,  always  tries  to  take  things  of  other  peoples  to  burn  them.  also  likes  to  ... possibly  set  empty  buildings  on  fire  only  to  watch  them  burn  down.  yike.

can  be  extremely  goofy  &  joking  one  moment  and  then  the  biggest  grumpy  asshole  the  next.  all  really  depends  on  his  mood  at  the  time.

when  he's  in  a  good  mood  though,  he  loves  to  mess  with  people  &  joke  around  or  just  go  explore  the  area.  day  trips  are  his  favorite  thing  in  the  world  even  though  he  won't  admit  to  it.

however,  when  he  isn't.... don't  mess  with  him  bc  he  will probably  try  and  snap  ur  head  off  or  yell  at  you  for  the  dumbest  shit.  probably  figures  out  he's  being  a  dick  a  little  too  late  but  will  still  own  up  to  it  and  apologize  eventually.

a  bit  of  a  wild  card,  honestly.  you  never  know  what  mood  he's  going  to  be  in  or  what's  going  on  in  his  head  at  any  given  moment.

a  heaux,  shock  shock...  but  like  actually  really  bad  abt  it,  constantly  has  some  new  hook  up  or  something  like  that.

this  is  a  work  in  progress  as  well  so  that's  all i've  got  atm

                                                   PLOT IDEAS.

someone  from  his  past  who  knows  that  his  father  is  a  police  officer  &  constantly  gets  on  his  ass  for  all  the  stupid  shit  he  does  bc  they  don't  want  him  getting  caught  let  alone  his  own  father  finding  out.

his  go  to  person  for  all  things  stupid  as  fuck.  getting  high  on  the  roof?  check.  getting  drunk  &  dancing  on  the  bar?  check.  walking  around  seoul  at  4  in  the  morning?  check.

the  fire  &  ice  combination  we  all  want  for  our  muses,  they  fight,  bicker,  try  to  throw  hands  w  each  other  even  but  at  the  end  of  the  day,  they  actually  care  about  one  another.

someone  who's  able  to  see  the  softer  side  of  jun,  either  by  just  being  around  for  his  'down'  days,  or  finding  out  that  a  sleepy  /  just  woke  up  jun  has  a  tendency  to  be  soft  and  a  tiny  bit  needy.

the  jokester  friend  who's  always  pranking  jun  &  jun  tries  to  one  up  them  &  get  his  revenge.

the  LOATHING  plot...  idk  what  it  would  be  for  but  they  just  literally  can't  stand  each  other  &  they  make  sure  it's  known  to  the  world.

someone  who  puts  up  with  his  instagram  persona  and  goes  on  shopping  trips  &  appears  in  the  dumb  videos  he  uploads  to  both  instagram  &  youtube.

speaking of,,,,,  the  'dating'  rumor.  basically  they're  really  close  friends  &  are  seen  by  the  media  together  a  lot  so  people  just  assume  they're  a  thing  &  start  getting  hashtags  about  them  trending  as  well  as  all  the  other  fun  stuff  that  goes  along  with  that.

will  add  more  as  they  come  to  mind  !

[loveinclined-archive]

headcanons : silly stuff

RE: CASSANDRA-ISMS

when cassandra was nine, she was walking home with dulcie and keandra through one of the huge buildings where griffins nest, and a bunch of griffin eggs hatched…and all imprinted on cassandra. cassandra had no choice to but to care for the babies, with the mother griffin moving into the family’s front yard.

her mothers were not happy.

cassandra will sometimes speak in a singsong voice, just because she’s used to it, and it’s not really weird to her to do it- she’ll also do it to convey different emotions if she’s talking with someone who knows capellan enough to get it.

an amazing headcanon that sammun came up with is that a singsong voice is also cassandra’s like slurred voice- when she’s tired or drunk.

as the boys get older, cassandra isn’t as afraid to swear around them- by now, it’s nothing they haven’t heard before…but she’s always careful not to swear around the boys & splinter

however she still does not let the boys swear casually- if its out of anger, or surprise, she’ll let it slide, but other than that…she’ll make them go brush their teeth. this comes from her misunderstanding the concept of washing someone’s mouth with soap- she thinks the goal of it is to simply clean their mouth. donatello has the best dental hygiene bc of this

cassandra always has party poppers on her, without fail. she carries usually 2 or 3 in her bag or pocket, and it’s gotten the point where she’ll use them for the most mundane of things. just did the dishes? time to fucking party. mikey’s been cooking? party popper. donnie made something cool? that gets TWO party poppers.

the best time though is after a battle, when everyone’s tired and aching, and suddenly cassandra’s just. popping party poppers.

cassandra probably hasn’t been around a lot of animals/pets to be honest?? like her family didn’t have pets on capella, ioavis was exclusively populated by ioavians, she might have encountered these huge, lizard like beasts pyrrites used as horses on pyrrah, but she never got attached to them…

so mikey’s cats & of course, spike, are cassandra’s first experiences with pets! and tbh? cassandra loves cats. don’t even try to talk to her if there’s a cat in the room that she hasn’t encountered before, because she’s going to try to befriend it.

cassandra wouldn’t get a pet cat because she knows they unnerve splinter, and she feels like it’s fair because she’s pretty much the same way with dogs. it’s an unspoken rule- splinter wouldn’t introduce a dog into the family because she’s scared of dogs, cassandra won’t do that with cats.

anyway it should be noted that cassandra looks down on fortune-tellers/clairvoyants who pass off their visions as Fate and Unavoidable. she’s more lenient if the clairvoyant genuinely did not know that fate really…isn’t a thing (at the very least, to the rest of the galaxy). but on the whole, cassandra will be quick to “correct” them and will honestly talk down to them.

likewise, anyone who tries to pass off bad deeds as simply being “fate” will be regarded with scorn from cassandra. and those who try to write off their good deeds as their destiny will be assured that their deeds were of their own doing- they chose to be good.

i should probably talk more about this- in my lore, fate & destiny do not exist. of course, the concept of them exists but most of the universe knows it to be false. prophecies aren’t a thing, and if they are, they’re more of guidelines than “this will definitely happen.”  if this conflicts with someone else’s lore, i’d love to talk about it and reach some kind of middle ground! but yes, fate does not exist in my lore.

cassandra has definitely taken the boys trick or treating before.

if we’re going off “hello, clairvoyant?” canon and not….canon canon, then splinter might have taken them once before? since they are like 6 years old in ‘hello, clairvoyant?’

paola paints ‘seams’ onto the boys so they look like they’re wearing costumes

it takes a few years, but cassandra Goes All Out for halloween. decorating the lair, watching halloween movies, etc.

she loves to dress up too tbqh. she’s been a witch, a knight, and a pirate before.

gosh but i can see paola dressing up as vivi from final fantasy and joining them.

all versions of cassandra need glasses- classic cassandra usually wears contacts, but keeps her old glasses on hand in case she needs them. hellion has either healed or eyes or hasn’t, but just refuses to wear glasses.

when she counts on her fingers she starts with pinky

she adores fruit, especially chocolate covered fruit. she also loves crunchy peanut butter. her family has caught her just eating peanut butter straight out of the jar with a spoon many times before. her favorite food ever is pop rocks, and is usually eating them at the worst possible moment.

cassandra has a habit of speaking without really meaning to, especially when she’s got a lot on her mind.

hope everyone likes pumpkin spice, bc that’s the only flavored food cassandra’s buying for all of fall. even those nasty pumpkin spice m&ms

the boys definitely played with cassandra’s hair a lot when they were younger- they were absolutely fascinated by it at first and honestly still are. sometimes the boys offer to brush her hair for her because they like playing with her hair

cassandra really likes picking people up. not like flirting but like physically picking them up and carrying them places. she likes showing off her strength and likes being close to ppl when she carries them.

cassandra’s always very affectionate but on holidays like national cuddle up day (january 6th), valentine’s day, national kissing day (july 6th), national hand holding day (today) give her and Excuse™ to be even more affectionate

i can totally see cassandra liking superman (last of his kind? very powerful but also a nerd? hmm…sounds familiar).

it takes a lot for her to get drunk, but once she is drunk…goodbye emotional barriers. she cries 500% more but usually it’s happy crying. and she’s vERY likely to blurt out a love confession when drunk.

cassandra is also extremely clingy when drunk and will lean on you or lay on you.

cassandra loves to sit in the tree in the dojo. sometimes she’ll sit in on the boys and splinter training and just sit up there watching them. cassandra likes being up high and swinging on stuff, so she probably sits on the tire swing a lot too.

cassandra cheats during family game night unless someone says “mom don’t use your clairvoyance.” in her mind, if you don’t remember that she’s clairvoyant, that’s on you.

cassandra would absolutely learn how to do card tricks to impress the boys- maybe even just on her own. cassandra’s that person who will pull out a deck of cards at a party and will do magic tricks to get out of having to actually have meaningful conversations with people

glow in the dark stars are something unique to earth, and cassandra is just in love with them, so she puts them all over the lair on the ceiling, in her bedroom, in paola’s cabin, and in her spaceship. glow in the dark stars everywhere.

cassandra makes sure all her kids know how to sew. leo got really good at it and can actually make some p decent looking stuff- he’s best at stuffed animals tho.

whether or not cassandra is weaker than her partner, if they’re sparring she’s still gonna throw them off by kissing them

everyone cassandra knows has, at some point, gotten some form of winter gear that she’s made from her for christmas or during the holiday season. it’s generally the first holiday you spend with the family, honestly. cassandra just wants to make sure everyone’s warm enough during the winter

cassandra absolutely taught the boys how to play their instruments. in addition, she taught raph how to play the trombone.

as the boys get older and start to push away cassandra’s affection (for the sake of being “cool” and “mature”) her heart breaks a little more every time they reject a hug or kiss on the cheek/forehead.

since cassandra herself struggles with being organized and neat, her rule is that the common area, kitchen, dojo and lab have to be clean. the boys’ rooms can be as messy as they like, but everywhere else has to be clean

gross thing cassandra will do to freak people out: put food that maybe shouldn’t be eaten raw in her mouth and cook it in her mouth, then stick her tongue out so people can see it. however, she can’t cook with her inclination- at least, not well.

cassandra smells like cinnamon & apples & campfires & (sometimes) sweat. she might smell like smoke if she’s just got home from work, but she usually takes showers right away after getting from responding to a fire.

since cassandra has both time blindness from her adhd, and also an incredible awareness of time as it moves due to being an augur, cassandra’s perception of time is really messed up. you will frequently hear her say “time isn’t real.”

[sinkix]

《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here 

✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧

Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library. 

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off. 

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating??? 

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would  also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

[surveystodestressme]

72.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 18

1701. How will tomorrow be like today? i don’t know yet 1702. How would you react if a stranger pinched your bottom? i’d probably smack them 1703. When was the last time you went on a date? ummm, jack and i don’t really go on dates anymore.  or at least, we don’t call them dates. 1704. Have you ever ridden a horse? yes. 1706. What is almost over? i don’t know

1707. What should you be doing that you are putting off? calling my college to set up orientation 1708. How much would you have to change physically before you would no longer be yourself anymore? a lot 1709. How much would you have to change mentally before you would no longer be yourself anymore? ^ 1710. Would you rather be famous or notorious? neither honestly 1711. Would you rather have a necklace that’s dripping with diamonds or a blueberry farm? blueberry farm 1712. Could you take first place in a beauty contest? probably not 1713. Who is the biggest hypocrite you know and why? i know a lot of them 1714. Would you consider yourself to be more opinionated or bitchy? opinionated. 1715. How long is it until your next day off? it’s my day off right now 1716. What sound is annoying you right now? nothing at the moment 1717. Imagine you’re taking a vacation with 4 people. Who are they? jack, wyatt, jake,and rebecca 1718. The five of you travel by plane. Suddenly your plane crashes down over snowy mountains. The pilot and the air crew and all the other passengers die. The only way for you to survive is for one of you to get eaten by the others. Who will it be? lol idk honestly maybe wyatt, he’s got the most meat 1719. Anorexia and obesity are two life threatening eating related disorders. Why is it that when it is discovered that someone is an anorexic they are rushed to the hospital, but when someone is obese they are not rushed to the hospital? that’s a good question 1720. Who is your favorite smurf? never watched that 1721. Why do you do things that you know are bad for you? i don’t know 1722. How important is testing to education? i feel like people think it’s really important but intelligence (in my opinion) is not based on how well you can take tests.  1723. What food group do you eat the most of (bread and pasta, meats and eggs and fish, fruits and vegetables, milk and cheese, sugar and butter)? probably meat 1724. Who is the most adorable person you know? some girl i know has a little baby and she’s really chunky and cute 1725. If you had to spend a half hour locked in a dark closet with someone from school or work that you don’t normally hang out with who would you want it to be? uhhh... i don’t know? maybe one of the theater people because they’re all funny and wouldn’t make me feel awkward about the situation lol 1726. How often do you masturbate in a week? recently at least once or twice a week 1727. In the USA people work a full third of the year for the government, due to taxes. How do you feel about this? it sucks 1728. Should people be allowed to use cell phones in their cars? absolutely not.  some people can’t even drive without their phones as a distraction 1729. Have you ever been in the room while a human baby was born? nope. 1730. Have you ever been in the room while an animal baby was born? no. 1731. Did you see the video The Miracle of Life in school? no. 1732. How do you feel about having a baby? don’t want any children 1733. Have you ever had a tooth pulled? no 1734. Who are you waiting for an email/call/note/visit from? my boyfriend. 1735. What are you counting the days until? until i can move out and have my own place with jack 1736. What is the greatest temptation for you? my boyfriend? lol idk 1737. How do you resist it? i don’t

1738. Who is your knight in shining armor? jack ig lol. 1739. If you were walking and someone behind you yelled “HEY YOU!” would you turn around? probably 1740. Do loud noises make you tense? sometimes 1741. Has anyone ever told you that your epidermis was showing? not in those terms lol 1742. Would you rather work or stay home with the baby? work bc i wont have a baby anyways 1743. Would you rather have people agree with you all the time or tell you the honest truth? tell me the honest truth. 1744. Will you/have you gone to your high school reunion? i probably wont bc i wont even be living in the same state hopefully 1745. What do you think of your yearbook picture? it’s ok i guess 1746. Are you more of a hunter or a gatherer? gatherer. 1747. If you ever were to visit Hershey Park, the theme park based on the chocolate candy, would you enjoy going to the spa where you can be treated to a whipped cocoa bath, a milk and honey bath, or simply a chocolate fondue skin wrap? none 1748. If someone asks you to read a poem they wrote, will you really take your time to try and understand what they wrote and tell them what you think or just read it quickly and tell them that its really good? i’m not too good at interpreting poetry, but i’ll try my best 1749. Do you feel that if a coincidence occurs it means something? maybe 1750. Were you beautiful as a child? not really lol 1751. Do you think that it is okay for a homosexual or a woman to become a priest? yeah???? i don’t think it matters either way 1752. Which would you rather give up forever, religion or sex? religion. 1753. What comes to mind when you think of these places: Canada? maple syrup UK? british people USA? bald eagle Australia? kangaroos and giant crabs Germany? hot german women Italy? spaghetti 1754. What does your favorite bumper sticker say? i don’t have any 1755. Have you ever taken a shower with another person? yes. 1756. What bath toys do you have, if any? none lol 1757. Would you rather propose to someone you love or would you rather be proposed to by someone you love? i’d rather be proposed to bc i feel like i’d make it awkward or i’d do it wrong 1758. How can you reject someone nicely? idk 1759. What kinds of diary names make you interested enough to check out the diary? - 1760. What do you think are three common passwords people use to secure their diaries? birthdays, names, or a bunch of random numbers 1761. Pick an object in the room. Give that object a name. lamp - lampy 1762. What is the quickest way to make you blush? compliment me 1763. Do you usually feel that you deserve it when other people compliment you? yeah, ig 1764. If you were to start your own business what kind of business do you think it might be? video games idk 1765. What is one of your pet peeves? bad drivers 1766. What question do you get asked too frequently? do you still talk to the last person you kissed? 1767. You notice a ring is priced $40.00, but the cashier only charges you $10.00. Do you mention this to the cashier? probably not 1768. Could a kiss on the ___ be considered cheating? Cheek? Lips? Nose? Hand? Ear? Neck? if it’s not a family member, then yes.  if my significant other kisses another person ANYWHERE and i find out about it, unless it’s the hand, maybe, i’m not going to be too happy about it and i would expect the same response from him if i did that 1769. Would it bother you if your lover occasionally flirted with others? yeah 1770. How long has it been since you last played truth or dare? it’s been a while 1771. Should people who are living now be obligated to do things that will make the world better for people who will live 100 years from now? not obligated, no 1772. Imagine you have a dream in which someone you care for acts mean to you. Is it possible you will still be angry with this person when you wake up? it’s happened before but no i shouldn’t be bc it’s in my own head not something they actually did 1773. Have you ever left someone a note with a picture in it? If yes, how do you do it? idk 1774. What do you fear more, death or pain? death 1775. Are the questions still interesting this far into the survey? somewhat. 1776. Do you like the cartoon Inspector Gadget? its ok 1777. You know how Gadget wears the same outfit all the time, and his closet is full of outfits that are exactly identical to the one he wears? If your closet was full of just one outfit that you had to wear everyday what would it be like? idk i dont think i could wear just one thing all the time 1778. Would you rather time travel to the future or the past? future. 1779. Would you rather know how the world began or how it will end? how it will end.   1780. Would you rather meet your ancient ancestors or your great great great great great great grandchildren? ancient ancestors bc i know i wont have grandchildren of any kind 1781. Out of these 4 which is most important (1=most, 2= second most, 3 = 3rd most, 4 = least)? Curing diseases such as aids, cancer: 4 Preserving wildlife areas: 1 Ending terrorism: 3 Building colonies in space: 2 1782. In your opinion should every child be entitled to a good education? yeah 1783. What news item are you tired of hearing about? fucking politics. 1784. Speaking of 9/11 the anniversary is coming up. What will you be doing? it’s already passed. 1785. If this were a recipe for you, how would it go? 2 cups: 1 cup: ½ cup: A pinch of: A dash of: Mix well and bake until: Add: Serve: idk man 1786. Which of the following would YOU be more likely to survive: A fall from a 3 story building Driving a car into the water neither lol, i can’t swim very well and i know i wouldn’t survive that fall 1787. What philosophy was manifested in the communist manifesto? idk. 1788. Who is your exact opposite? jack is pretty different from me 1789. Would you rather have serenity or insanity? serenity. 1790. What do these phrases mean? Moulin Rogue: Le voyage sur le bateau: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir: i have no idea 1791. What is the longest distance you have ever walked? oh i have no idea man 1792. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato believes that beauty truth and justice all basically mean the same thing. What are your feelings about this? ehhhh 1793. How did you first begin to assert yourself as independent from your parents? no more asking their permission for things, having my own car, and eventually moving out 1794. If you had a magic bracelet, would you use it to gain luck, money, health, creativity or love? money. 1795. What would you do if every time you used your magic bracelet something bad would happen to someone else? i wouldn’t use it probably 1796. This is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be that she fell in love with him then and there, although she didn’t even see him after the funeral ended. A few days later, the girl killed her own sister. What is her motive for killing her sister? she's crazy???? 1797. Have you ever intentionally hurt someone’s feelings? i dont think so 1798. What do you think of Franz Ferdinand? don’t know much about him. 1799. What do you think of the band Modest Mouse? never heard of them 1800. What do you think of Morrissey? ^

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #175

“imagine living like a king someday, a single night without a ghost in the walls.”

Have you ever had a teacher hit on you? Not to my recollection. Have you ever seen your ex’s new partner? If so, what do you think of them? I don't know or care if he currently has one. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? Done it twice now, it's not difficult if you're picky and serious with who you date. Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? Well my mom was somewhat aware of things that were happening. What was the last piece of candy you ate? Good question. I got my tongue re-pierced because of a bar length issue with swelling, and now this one is just shy of long enough to disable me from biting down entirely (they're snake eyes, so across the tip). I'm only just getting back into eating soft things very slowly unless I want pain, so candy's a no. I have to wait no less than three weeks to get a correctly-sized bar, and it's only been just over one aaaahhh. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted? No. Is your room painted or wallpapered? Painted. What is the best kind of pizza in your opinion? I'm an American I stan them meat lovers. Is there something that someone has done to you that you cannot forgive? No. Well actually idk, I still don't know for *sure* if I forgive him. Like I'm completely over it and it no longer affects me, but I could never ever ever ever look at him even remotely the same or even consider trusting him. I don't think that's supposed to happen when you forgive someone. Have you ever broken a plate/bowl? Accidentally by dropping. What is your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? I don't think so. Do you know anyone who has a homosexual parent? No. What type of music could this world live without? Pure screamo (no, not as a carpet term for metal). Are any of your pets “overweight”? No. Who’s the last person you cried over? Does myself count? Did the house you grew up in have a fence? Yeah, but not all around. What’s your YouTube channel name? 0zzkat. Who of your FB friends has the cutest toddler(s)? Uhhhh idk. Anastasia's baby girl is pretty cute, I guess. Did you decorate pumpkins this year? No. :/ They were totally gone the day we were gonna get one (the day before Halloween so no, we weren't that surprised lmao). What’s the craziest color you’d dye your hair? More like what color WOULDN'T I dye it? What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Uhhh. Idk. Name a video game you can play over and over again? Shadow of the Colossus. I've beaten it around 30 times. Would be more if I didn't lose the disc, buuut it's actually coming in the mail now! What is something that will make you laugh instantly? Don't show me that fucking Linkin Park "crawling in my crawl" worm video. Name a movie you wouldn’t watch solely based on its name? None come to mind. What’s your dearest souvenir? *shrugs* What was the last strong scent you smelled? Probably coffee bc of Mom. Have you ever been in an unconventional relationship (long distance, polyamorous, same gender, age gap, etc)? If so, what challenges did this relationship present, and were they worth overcoming? Long instance + same-sex simultaneously. Distance is fucking hard when you really want each other's company, especially for emotional support. Being same-sex makes me nervous due to potential violent homophobics, especiiiiaaaally living where I do. I do it regardless, but even just holding hands leaves me worrying some asshole is going to cause a problem. I know my sister's husband isn't at all fond of it either and I'm 99% sure he's why Sara's never met the kids. But anyway, all those things are absolutely worth it. Would you ever consider something like a poly relationship, assuming everyone involved was alright with it? What are some things you think you would or wouldn’t like about it? Absolutely not, because I strictly believe in the exclusiveness of love. What is the most unhealthy relationship (whether friendship or romantic) you’ve ever had? What made it so unhealthy? Do you still talk to each other? Colleen, probably. We are just about the antitheses of each other, yet we were "best friends." We disagreed too frequently, she was drama-ravenous, we kept leaving and coming back, etc. No, we don't talk now, and I refuse to ever do so again as friends. Have you ever been abusive in any way? Were you able to change or make amends, or, in general, what do you think people should do to make amends in that situation? No. I absolutely do not believe in "making amends" with your abuser. Keep them the fuck out of your life. Have you ever forgiven someone for being abusive or allowed someone toxic back into your life? Did this person change for the better or not? Toxic... you mean Colleen? Did it too many times, and no, she didn't. Do you feel like your age matches your emotional development? If not, what age level or maturity level do you feel best represents where you’re at? Part of me says no, another says yes. I guess it depends on the subject. What is one thing about your personality that embarrasses you, but you can’t seem to change it no matter how hard you try? Have other people called you out on this embarrassing thing? Being socially awkward as all hell, and yes. When was the last time you did something “meant” for children? Do you think it’s okay for adults to do these things (ie. watch cartoons, have stuffed animals, dress in cute clothing, etc), or do you think there’s an age beyond which it becomes unacceptable - and if so, why? I was playing Spyro just earlier today lmao. In almost all cases, no. I do believe that something like a full-grown adult playing pretend with dolls or something may be questionable, but even then there's not a real reason I can give you. What was the last thing to “trigger” you (as in, in a true mental health sense, I’m being serious here) and how did you cope with it? What kinds of things do you tend to find triggering? What do you do either avoid or face your triggers? Something PTSD-related, but I can't remember exactly what it was, I guess because I got past it pretty quickly. There are certain songs I should avoid, I canNOT look at the medicine I ODed on, I don't like seeing or being near large knives at all... If you’re diagnosed with anything, do you feel that it accurately represents what you’re experiencing? All of them, yeah. What is a complaint you have about the mental health industry or about the type of treatment you’ve received from a mental health service? Have you ever had any particularly bad therapy experiences? I feel that too many people working in the field care far more about the pay than the people. I can't guarantee a professional truly cared about what I was dealing with until Holly Hill. I've had one particularly horrible psychiatrist that threw diagnoses and pills around like they were nothing (the most ridiculous being ADHD, which I in no way exhibited), and a long-time therapist I had was pretty bad, something I realized only after I started with my current one. She was strict about that "you've got an hour, you're staying an hour, you're leaving no later" shit, and we always ran out of things to talk about so I'd just be sitting there super uncomfortably and numerous times start crying because I felt so awkward, and she'd just take it as a sign that I wasn't telling her something. She drove "and how does that make you feel" and "what're you thinking of" into the goddamn ground. Yeesh, having been a mental health patient for so long, I could really write a novel here. When was the last time you realized you might be the source of a problem and NOT someone else? Hm, idk. I'm so uninvolved with others that that's a hard question to answer. What are some minor physical discomforts that really bug you (eyelash in your eye, a wedgie, rumpled socks, etc)? HAVING THE BOTTOMS OF YOUR PANTS GET WET. I hate chapped lips, too. Do you prefer vertical or horizontal stripes? Horizontal. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? No. Are you ticklish? YEAH. Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? No. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? I wouldn’t. Have you ever been in a submarine? No. Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna? Only hot tubs. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. What was your first alcoholic drink? A Mike's hard lemonade. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Idk, I was a baby. What was your first detention for? Too many tardies. Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid? No. Have you ever been on radio? No. How long has your longest ever phone call been? A few hours. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? Ummm I guess some kind of chicken is common? When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? Idk. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? Uhhhh how am I blanking, I change my mind on things every five minutes. Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together? Sara's both my girlfriend but also the only "friend" I ever hang with now even tho we live several states apart lmao. I was there two weeks, so we did an array of stuff. Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else’s dreams? Hell, I barely ever remember my dreams. Jason still shows up maybe ehhhh around or maybe less than once a month, and I have no clue why other than maybe there's some PTSD effects I don't actually detect or something? It's not like I think about him much, so I really don't see why he shows up, but the theme is constant: awkwardness seeing each other again, and he sometimes tries to get back with me (thank FUCKING GOD even in my dreams, I don't). Sara's in some dreams that I remember. Mom, maybe. What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know? Nothing. What is something you do to feel better when you’re scared? I'll usually turn to YouTube for a distraction. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? Mom. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? Probably Bite Me by idr-who. I actually don't remember. What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed? Another sensor came off the keyboard. :') I dunno about fixed. Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)? Butterflies and semicolons. Hence my semicolon butterfly tattoo. Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences? Yeah. What do you get complimented on the most? My hair. What is something unusual that you find attractive? why does?????? everyone hate fedoras tbh?????????? What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last? BOY this varies so much like fuck. Sometimes I don't eat breakfast at all, sometimes I do right when I get outta bed. Dinner can be at like almost 10:00 with Mom's schedule, or I may have it like five hours earlier. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I'm getting into a horror LPer and I'm binging her Silent Hill playthroughs. How would you describe your overall aesthetic? I like pink but bloody guts and brains are cool 2. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? N/A What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Play video/computer games. Have you ever been close to drowning? No. Do you watch any Japanese anime? Not currently, but I've kinda had the urge to pick an interesting one up? Do you have someone who is protective of you (father, brother, etc.)? Mom and Sara above anyone else. Where was the last place you went, that you hadn’t been to before? Uhhhhh good question. I don't exactly go to new places often. Do you have any bad habits you aren’t working on changing? If so, do you ever think you’ll try to break them? I don't believe so off the top of my head? Then again I think everyone has little bad habits they don't try to improve upon, but I can't think of anything serious. When was the last time someone surprised you with their reaction or behaviors? I'm sure something with Mom, but idk what. Are you good at committing to things like Nanowrimo or Inktober? Nope. What is your preferred method of expressing yourself? Writing. Or drawing if I'm in the mood. Have you ever reached out to a crisis center for mental health support? If so, how was the experience? I tried to reach the suicide hotline via their online one-on-one chatroom because I was too afraid to actually call, but I ended up waiting I think 45 minutes before the OD happened. When was the last time you did something you were afraid to do, and how was the outcome? I drove at night and ordered food at a drive-thru myself. It went well. What is one positive thing you believe about yourself? I have a strong sense of right and wrong. What is something you have been through that has made you stronger? Depression as a whole. Other than money, what is something you wish you had more of in your life? Social life, success, and motivation to name a few. Is there anything that you tend to ignore for the sake of your sanity? Sure. Mental health stuff flares up sometimes if I think about some things too deeply. What was the last thing you argued or debated about? Did you eventually agree, or did you have to agree to disagree? Getting rid of Bentley, and neither, really. Mom knows we shouldn't have him for a world of reasons, yet she refuses to try to find a far more suitable home for him or at least talk to Nicole about it (he's her dog, but she doesn't live here), who's never even paid him almost any attention. I could rant about this for hours. What is something you wish was different about your family? THAT WE WERE CLOSER. What is your main struggle or focus in life right now? Getting out of the house/becoming more of a functioning adult. Are you more dramatic or stoic? I'm neither extreme, really, but I'd say I'm much further from stoic. Are you on medication for anything? If so, do you feel like it helps? Have you ever been afraid to take medication or had a particularly bad experience with it? A lot, but the only ones I feel don't work are the ones for my tremors and knees. I was on one med for a while that I was scared to take because it made me vomit (safe to say I wasn't on it long), and even my life-saver med made me sick at first, but I took prescription nausea pills to ride that out as my body adjusted. Do you prefer having long or short nails? Short, but not too short. When was the last time you had an argument with one of your parents? Idr. Do you tend to eat the same few things all the time or do you vary your intake? Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? Are there any commonly enjoyed foods that you don’t like? I'm picky and definitely have a limited palate. Some foods I can think of for the last question include fried chicken, BBQ, watermelon, tacos, all cheeses but American, aaaand I'm blanking again in an area I should have a book about. Do you have good body image? Do you feel more confident about your body or your personality? What is one thing about yourself about which you do feel particularly confident? Ha, as if, so personality. I like how open-minded I am. How likely are you to compliment other people? How do you react or respond when you receive a compliment? What are your favorite types to receive? It depends on the person, the atmosphere, and my anxiety level. I sometimes fear complimenting people because I don't want someone to be like "um why is she talking to me?"/"is she flirting with me?"/"why did she notice that?", etc. I become so giddy (at the very least internally) when people compliment me because of how my self-esteem is, and I really appreciate them. The compliments that mean most to me are regarding my photography. With how badly I want to be a successful photographer, people seeming to genuinely like what I do has actually made me smile like an idiot and giggle publicly. It just means a lot to me. Describe the last thing you reblogged? How many posts do you tend to reblog during a day? A clip of Mark having a fit over a dog in RDR2. How much I reblog varies greatly; depends on how much I get on Tumblr that day, what I feel like sharing at that moment, what I queue... Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Do you listen to your friends’ advice when they give it to you? Depends. If it's Sara, I usually do. What’s the last kind of soup you ate? Vegetable. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It is pierced. The most memorable time that you skipped school, what did you do? I don't recall. Did you ever have a favorite teacher in high school? What made them your favorite? Coach Collie. He was very friendly, wise, his sense of humor was great, he cared deeply for his students, was super chill, shared life advice all the time, etc. etc. Can you think of a time when you were really obviously judged by your appearance? What happened? Not that I recall. What’s something your mother told you growing up that you actually listened to? Mind your manners. What are three emotions you experience regularly? Stress, content, but also discontent. What is your favorite Halloween candy? Reese's. Is there anyone who refuses to communicate with you? *shrugs* What was the last lengthy packet you filled out? Something for vocational rehab. Is there something you still can’t do even though you’re an adult or might be expected to do this thing? I don't have a job or drive. When was the last time you congratulated someone? Were you happy for them, indifferent, jealous? When I found out one of my closest high school friends is pregnant. I was obviously happy for her. What would you say is your STRONGEST emotion? Maybe not the most frequent, but the most intense? And what emotion do you feel most weakly, even if you might feel it more often? Anger; envy (but it's not often). Have you ever gone somewhere in your pajamas? What makes this acceptable or unacceptable to you? Plenty times, but it depends on my level of shits given and the location. Honestly wish pjs were more acceptable in public places cuz like why not, you've got clothes on, just don't go around where everyone can totally see your dick, ass, or tits. Other than the usual things like IDs, etc, what do you always carry with you when you go out? My phone. What type of photography do you enjoy looking at? Do you take any photos yourself, and if so, what types of things do you prefer to photograph? LOTS!!!! I particularly love fantasy-styled portraiture or macabre work, and omg give me soft lighting. I'm a sucker for emotive or conceptual portraits and the like. I like to photograph an array of things, but my faves are nature and animals. Have you ever gone out for the Black Friday shopping rush? Did you enjoy it, or not so much? Or, what’s the busiest shopping day you’ve ever experienced? Nope. Busiest shopping day I indirectly experienced was when I worked at GameStop during the holiday season... nope. It's a small store and it was flooded. I hated it. Idk about one where I/my family was the shopper. Do you enjoy reading diaries or stories you wrote from when you were younger, or does it embarrass you? If you’ve kept them, was there a particular reason for hanging on to them so long? No. No. No. NO. I can't stomach going any further back than '15 at the RP forum because fucking cringe. All old stuff like physical journals and such, they're long gone because I never want to see them again lmao. What would you say was your first true hobby? What about your most recently developed one? Hmmm, probably video games were the first things I was *really* deep into. Recently developed... good question. Is there one thing that throws off your mood more than others, whether it be lack of sleep, lack of food, heat/cold, etc? I'M FUCKING /CRANKY/ IF I'M HOT. Serious lack of sleep makes me moodier. What is one common area of life in which you feel you have little to no experience (college, children, marriage, etc)? Work and independence. What kinds of things are you likely to complain about? HEAT. If it's hot to me, you're gonna know. I'll complain if my stomach especially hurts, sometimes with other pain. Do you like to put any extra effort into your food in terms of presentation, or do you prefer to just put it on a plate and eat it as it is, no frills? I don't cook, so. But I'd definitely be the latter. When was the last time you were mean or rude to someone else? How about the last time someone acted that way toward you? I hung up on this insurance agency or whatever they are that call me every other goddamn day. I dunno about the second question. What kinds of things are most likely to make you lose your temper? Have you ever done something regrettable or embarrassing while angry? I fucking dare you to ridicule the mentally ill in front of me. Goddamn dare you. For the second part, not to my recollection. Do you have a large dog? No, both our dogs are medium-sized. If not, are you afraid of them? Not at all. Do your parents know that/if you smoke? I don't. What is the reason you last received money? Mom borrowed some from me so she was paying me back. Is anyone in your family sick? Not to my knowledge. Are you very upfront about things or do you "beat around the bush"? The latter, typically. Do you ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? Not really anymore. Middle and high school? I was all about it. I wrote only one poem this year. How many bones have you broken? None. Whose house did you visit last? My sister Ashley's. Have you ever bought a fragrance by a celeb because you liked who it was? No. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia.

[diaryofanormalkid]

So many ppl at work have crushes on me and I’m picking up on it all... 😩🙄

Coworker 1 (let’s just call it beef tings?)

My coworker who I originally had beef with... I’m pretty sure he is attracted to me. Bc he acts so different around me now. Like before, we NEVER talked (but it was his fault).

I was always super civil and casual, would be respectful and try to say hi, but he’d always swerve me off or like pretend he didn’t hear me or ignore me.

I was convinced for the longest time he was deaf/hard of hearing. So then I started becoming louder and waving at him, but even then sometimes it was a lost cause.

But we very sloooowly started becoming more comfortable around each other and forming ways to say hi to each other swiftly but without it being awkward.

And I was honestly over trying to build any form or relationship with him at all, I gave him so many chances, over and over, and just decided one day I’m gonna leave it alone.

He had to know, I was civil/willing to be nice. So it wasn’t like I was the one who had the problem, I always tried to make convo etc. He was the standoff-ish one in this case.

But now... it’s sooo opposite. And it’s all because we started playing this tagging game at work. I already briefly told y’all about it before, but essentially it’s like tag.

And every time it’s him and I there at work, he tries to make any excuse to come close to me or touch me. I’m telling you, this game has become the root of alll our convos lately.

Like it’s been going on for months, this one game of cheese touch. And the times he’s it, it’s like he intentionally tries to tag me and no one else. He acts so different than how he did before.

So when he’s in my personal space, I get so alert and cautious bc IK it’s the most likely the game he’s playing. But it’s the times when he doesn’t have it and still lingers near me 🤔

Like what is he on? How come he does that? I’ll always ask him, ���why are you acting so weird? You’re too close.” In a joking manner even though I 100% mean the words I say.

He’s really tripping though, bc before, he wouldn’t be caught DEAD doing any of this to me. And now he’s even maintaining eye contact for LONG periods of time... it’s so crazy.

Okay so confession. I’ve made plenty of other posts about this coworker before, however many of them just say different titles bc I’ve gone through the MOTIONS with this kid.

He’s been called the manager’s kid on here, my lazy coworkers, but most embarrassingly, I even once called him: my cute coworker. Once upon a time though 🙄

That was when I was new and had no idea how weird this kid was gonna act the whole time I’ve been working here. So cut me some slack, cute/attractive does not mean bf material. AT ALL.

Hear me out though, he IS pretty easy on the eyes. But like, that’s about it. I’m not into him at all. He’s just starting to get me nervous bc it seems like he’s showing signs he likes me??

And I always doubt myself and say maybe I’m just overthinking it and reading in too much on all his body language and actions/energy. Or maybe he is with me?!?!

Because I’ve always been nice, and I’ve always been nice to him, but idk if he’s just now finally realizing that and is now on the receiving end because he finally talks to me?

Either way, I don’t know how I feel about it. My mom always suspected before that maybe he never spoke to me bc he was attracted to me, in which I would immediately respond “nah.”

But now it’s starting to feel like she was right... but i don’t want to think too much about it, it’s not that serious. But also, it bothers me bc I am attracted to him, just not further.

Now it’s like because we both actually hold eye contact, it’s intense bc I am attracted and I don’t people to pick up on that energy from me. The way he looked at me today...

There were actually plenty of looks today. And sometimes I can’t help myself from smiling/blushing. The only reason I can claim it’s a smile is because I’m black...

But otherwise, it’s hard for me to mask my attraction with this sudden reciprocation of him interacting with me. The thing that keeps me grounded is his personality tbh.

Because he’s lazy, inconsiderate, entitled, selfish, probably vain. So it’s a good balance for me, it keeps me focused on NOT letting looks get the better of me.

Speaking of though. He has recently been getting haircuts so much more frequently, and he put in earrings and I didn’t even know he had his ears pierced?!

One of the times I remember he was wearing HEAVY cologne (ngl it smelt good) and mind you, it’s a scent-free Hospital, so I really wanted to ask WHO are you trying to impress?

Bc it couldn’t be me! That day, I just remember how obnoxious he was. He kept walking by, SUPER close to me. As if he expected me to comment on his scent or something 😩💀

Since I knew what he was doing, I definitely was not going to do that. Also, another day, actually two times before he’s done this, he would just come in to work on his days off????!

And I’m like, “okay you seriously don’t have anything better to do but come into work? For what? For WHO?” Like when I asked why he’s here both times, he said “to get food.”

And I’m like????? To get food my ass! He could’ve gone ANYWHERE to get food if he didn’t have it at home and yet he stopped by the cafetaria to eat trashy food 🤔👀

So yeah that was hella sus to me. But idk, lately he’s just been looking hella fine and 😭 it makes me wanna vomit bc this is so uncharacteristic of me to be talking about him like this.

He doesn’t deserve all of my words tbh. It’s just I’m so into the glow up recently. Every time I see him now, he looks too good. Like yesterday for example.

First of all, when he came in the cafetaria he kinda sorta just popped in out of nowhere and he seriously scared me, specifically because I think he had the cheese touch yesterday.

So I jumped up and was like “you scared me!” With my eyes bulging, holding my chest. And then I asked him “why are you here?” And began to cross my fingers so I was immune from the cheese touch.

He began to mumble, as he always does, so I definitely didn’t catch any of what he said except for “my dad...” but eventually I was able to see for myself why he was here.

He came to fill the vending machines. So he came, but he was out of uniform. And that was probably the first time I’d seen him in clothes aside from uniform or sweats in... ever 🤔

So I was taken aback and digging it. Like I def was feeling the look, I was disgusted with myself bc he doesn’t deserve that attention from me, but on here I’ll be honest at least 🙄

Anyways so our interactions were very... idk. Like he seemed like he was TRYING to get some sort of reaction out of me coming in here like that. And I wasn’t having it.

So I didn’t give him one. LOL. But when he was almost done filling the vending machine, he asked my coworker first if she wanted anything and gave it to her.

Then he asked me if I wanted anything, and I said no! Looool. Like very intentionally said no. Even though I could’ve had whatever I wanted before he closed it.

Like I just don’t want him to get ANY ideas or give him any reason to believe I like him, so I just said no. He showed the tiniest hint of... what rejection?

Good. But in so many moments when I catch him saying my name, I like half wanna melt, half wanna cringe bc it’s so weird to hear from his mouth.

And especially like with our past, it’s too weird for me to hear him say my name without me thinking anything of it bc now I’m like “that must’ve been intentional 👀”

Like what is he doing? Idk I am just calculating everything, and all the signs put together tell me that he likes me 🤷🏿‍♀️ he can deny it/say otherwise, but it just feels true.

So obvs for a large part of me, that doesn’t sit right. I’ve been mistreated by him and his family so many times. I’ve also, had SOME nice things done by them...

But he doesn’t deserve that kind of attention from me, as well as he’s not a fit for me anyways and he should know better, I’m not a fit for him either.

However, a small part of me kinda melts at the fact that he might like me. And is also, hella confused bc I don’t know many redeeming qualities that I have to make him like me?

Well I do, but I wouldn’t think those would be things HE would find attractive/make him like me, which I why I find it hard to believe that my mom’s theory of him liking me might be true?

Anyways, when you have low self esteem for a long time and are just now finding self confidence, it’s a little bit tricky when you realize ppl actually DO like you.

But there, that’s the tea that’s been going on at work with HIM. There’s much more but for fear of making this post any longer, ima just wrap it up here 🙄 I’m annoying gosh.

Idk if that’s the case here, or if it’s just unbelievable coming from the past we had that he could ever like me in that way. Maybe find me attractive? But even that’s hard to believe.

[betterbooksbureau]

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

This was a hell of a ride tbh.

Readability: *shrugs aggressively* i found a lot of the language to be a lil dry but it wasn’t, by any means, a chore. There were a handful of big blocks of text that took a little effort to get through, but even then those were mostly shorter sentences, so even my adhd ass could keep track of them.

Re-Readability: it’s probably fine but i dont know why you’d bother when there’s a movie you could watch.

Reccomendability: see re-readability

What I Expected: I mean i’ve SEEN the movie but it was so long ago that all the things i DID remember were either things i know thru cultural osmosis or that were prompted by the reading of the book.

What I Got: i mean honestly it’s fine. Like with The Martian, the Jurassic Park movie seems to me to be a pretty reasonable adaptation, so I got about what I was expecting. Was actually sort of surprised bc, while i dont generally speaking expect dinosaur things to be super scientifically accurate, he DID hit a lot more nails on the head than I had expected. (theres still some stuff that was changed for what is, as near as i can tell, narrative purposes.)

Overview and Thoughts, under a cut bc it got very fuckin long:

ok so. Lets get some general stuff out of the way right here at the top; we have an entire main cast of white dudes (with the exceptions of Sattler and Wu, who are a woman and, i think, asian respectively,) most of whom are described as “skinny” or “slender,” like, ok dude we get it, and then one of whom is described as “fat” and frequently referred to as being, like, messy/a slob/constantly making a mess while eating so, you fuckin know. good show with the fatphobia man.

and then, like, there’s a handful of women with speaking parts but they all exist in this sort of “women can definitely be strong talented powerful people but also there can only be one at a time and also i still want you to know they’re hot” kind of way. Dr. Sattler DOES have one very good zinger wherein the lawyer is like “oh i didnt know you were a woman” and she says “these things happen” and i’m like “yass get him” but that’s about as feminist as this novel gets.

There’s also, like, a reasonable number of black and latinx background characters (which is good bc like, it DOES take place in Costa Rica or w/e) but most of the explicitly black ones are literally maintenance workers, often without names, and, like. idk. at least the crowds were the color they should be, but also? fuck that, gimme some more poc in the main cast.

also for real? a whole story about the doctor in the very beginning of the book probably would have been way more interesting. Gimme Ellen and Manuel or w/e their names are tracking down what the fuck has been happening to these construction workers and burning Hammond to the ground with their bare hands.

Lets get to the Good Shit tho:

i had literally completely forgotten about Alan Grant. like COMPLETELY. i spent maybe the first third of the book being like “i’m pretty sure they collapsed grant and malcolm into a single character bc i dont remember grant At All.” and then i finally looked it up and no, my memory had just been completely overwritten by screencaps of Jeff Goldblum.

I love Grant so fucking much though, lets be extremely hecking clear here. My man Grant: loves his work, would hate Ross Geller, love children, loves dinosaurs, DOUBLE LOVES children who love dinosaurs, just wants to learn more things about dinosaurs and dinosaur children, i could go on. Let Dr. Alan Grant Harvest Dinosaur Bones In Peace 2k17.

also? i hate Ian Malcolm a fucking lot. He was introduced and he has spoken maybe 4 lines and i was pretty much immediately over here like “this is the most pretentious fuckboy i’ve ever read in my life.” if my dude was a shakespeare character he would die and come back to life to give a final monologue about the folly of mankind, ok, and its made even more insufferable by the fact that he’s one of maybe like 3 people in this book with ANY sense. but, he does make a pun about his broken leg so, like, i can’t hate him all the way.

the kids are fine, i like them fine, dont have any huge issues with how they’re written tbh.

Hammond has this interesting arc where you slowly find out more about how he thinks and he makes this transition between “this man reminds me of my grandfather” and “oh. this dude is deluded as hell.”

i think we’re meant to read Nedry and Gennaro as bad guys but, like…. honestly if i was Nedry i’d probably feel the exact fucking way he does and i could super easily see someone doing the exact things he does!!! like the only thing i would do different is maybe not shut everything down when theres guests out and also maybe take a map with me when I leave to make the delivery but, like, imho its completely justified. and Gennaro- like. idk i think its difficult to make a solid decision when you’re in his position and i felt like he really pulled his weight re:helping hammond get shit done and i felt like grant and co treated him really unfairly toward the end there bc its a complicated af situation and he’s……………….. one of the first people who A: knew what was going on and B: to whom is occurred that maybe it was a bad goddamn idea and they should pull the plug. like? not entirely without blame but lets be real here he got his shit together about what a mess it was the fastest of anybody other than Malcolm.

I mentioned above that i was sort of surprised about the accuracy of the science? all in context and speaking comparatively, of course, but like there are still people /today/ who dont believe that birds are related to dinosaurs, so it was good as fuck to see my boy being on top of that shit that far back. it seemed to me a lot like the inaccuracies that were there were a mix of “stuff we just didnt know yet” and “for dramatic effect” but like, struck me as reasonably solid tbh.

there WAS one part that i found to be exceptionally hilarious where hammond was like “the market would never tolerate anyone charging a thousand dollars a treatment for medication!” and i just…… shhhhh nobody tell him the state of healthcare in the united states…….

anyway!! it was fine. i wouldnt buy this book, probably, but it’s worth a read if you’re bored and it happens to be lying around somewhere nearby.

[steamishot]

Alcohol talk

I’m on the way to Chicago right now, and I have time to write out my thoughts. Matt took me to bestia last night. He surprised me with the reservation and it was nice that he made the effort to see me knowing I’d be gone for the weekend. I’m touched that he was willing to spend ~$150 on dinner for me so early on. Honestly, I was always envious of ladies who their partner take fine dining. Trying out new food/eating well is one of my top pastimes of choice. I see in my brothers relationship, he doesn’t necessarily have interest in doing that fancy stuff, but he knows it’ll make her happy and therefore does it. I didn’t have that in my last relationship. Actually, it seemed my last partner didn’t really quite understand what made me happy/didn’t quite care. Not that the amount spent matters, but he rarely took me out to new places/interesting places to eat. I was the one who did all the restaurant picking.

The more I think about my last relationship, the more I feel it was based on sexual compatibility and not much more. It makes sense because that was one of the reasons why I wanted to be with him. Getting intimate was sexy and we were just drawn to each other physically. I watched terrace house recently, and one of the hottest scenes in the series was between Noah and Seina who were getting handsy and making out at the bar. They ended up hooking up that night at a hotel. Watching their sexual chemistry reminded me of what David and I had. Looking back, our beginning dates had a lot of fooling around and making out involved and it felt so natural. I don’t see myself acting like that anymore, probably because I’m older now.

With Matt, he asks me questions to know my preferences. He asked me yesterday what my ideal day is like. He also proposed that we go to Napa for wine tasting. He told me his “downfalls”/ or wanted to upfront about his flaws such that he’s quite intense, he’s either 100% on or off, he can be quite cold bc he shuts down, he has time management issues (he’s been late almost every time we hung out), etc. I think it’s respectable that he’s being honest with what he perceives are his flaws, and he wanted me to share something about myself as well. All I could think about at the time was how someone’s “flaws” are subjective. And I’d rather have him get to know me and find out himself. Whatever he mentioned, I could handle it, because I know he doesn’t have bad intentions and is genuine in trying to better his behavior. I thought about what David didn’t like about me, that i didn’t like to socialize with his huge family and group of friends. That I’m not the most verbally affectionate. And that sometimes I’m tired in bed and not as enthusiastic while having sex and he takes it as rejection. Literally those were the top problems he had with me. Listing out his “flaws” like that makes me believe he’s a person of growth, because he recognizes where he can improve on.

I had alcohol while we were talking and felt woozy. I also was not really in the mood to talk much because the restaurant was pretty loud. I tend to shut down when the environment is too stimulating. So I just sat and listened to him, actively listened to him and smiled/acted engaging (without talking much). I like that he’s confident in that me not saying much doesn’t faze him. He didn’t get self conscious and instead he was just like ok I can keep talking about myself. He also said let me know if you don’t wanna talk at all because that’s cool too. He was telling me that he was wild back in the days, went to a lot of raves and partied a lot. And said that he can teach me how to be wild/said I should go out to party. Maybe I seem super innocent but by the way I was drinking my alcohol, he asked if I’ve ever gotten drunk. In that moment i reflected on my younger self, those nights of throwing up, drinking for the sake of getting drunk, I didn’t recognize who I was a few years ago. I wouldn’t consider myself wild. And I think wild is subjective too. I told him that alcohol makes me depressed and anxious. Overall, I was kinda stuck in my own head and didn’t reveal much about myself.

I think we’re a good match because we both like to discover new things and are pretty adventurous. I like his energy, positivity, chill vibes and go getter attitude. He’s such an interesting person and like a very humble doctor. He told me how he was an old lady’s personal assistant before going into med school. How he took a gaps after college/before med school and after med school/before residency and is just chillin.

Because of the damn alcohol, I ended up reflecting a lot. He asked me what my favorite restaurants were yesterday and I realized I haven’t really been to any of them because David and I used to frequent them. I told him I lost 6 pounds in the past two months. And I realized my appetite just hasn’t been the same. Thinking about this had me almost tearing up on my flight because even though I think I’m doing better, there’s just a lot subconsciously that hasn’t healed yet.

This is the first time I feel like there’s equal interest on both sides. I think due to fear of rejection, ive never pursued a guy or shown interest in one like so. I’ve tended to go out with guys who are way more interested in me than I am in them. I’m definitely more shy around Matt because I want to be on good behavior and I like him. But I realize I’m different people depending on who I’m with. Which is true, you do become the people you spend the most time with. When I was with David, I started sexualizing everything, I think because that’s how he was. I didn’t like it at all... I’m in that transition of David-Connie to Matt-Connie but it’s kinda hard without that middle section of just Connie.

I hope matt can be patient with me, while I find myself and my place with him. And I hope we will be worthwhile.

[survivorsentinelislands]

EPISODE 12: SO TODAY IS THE DAY I MAKE MY #MOVE ~Daisy

I hate this challenge. It's been 2 hours and 35 minutes and I’M STILL CHUGGING ALONG. GODDDD! I'm so bored, I hate this challenge. Even writing this confessional is annoying because I have to stop every minute but like I have nothing better to do and I get to practice how fast I can type. Woo. Anyways, I really want to win this immunity but also I'm afraid that if I start winning people will be like 'oh shit immunity threat, let's get her.' I'm so close to the end I can taste it and I really don't want to screw it up. Ned, Daisy, and I are in this final 3 that we've been part of for like a really long time. I talked to Ned to make sure that he wants to bring her and he says that he thinks it'd be our best bet and why not since we've had the F3 for so long? I agree with him. I feel like Ned and I are battling it out between each other no matter who we take to the end so it doesn't matter who we take and since Daisy is the only one we've ever actually confirmed an F3 with we mind as well take her. So yeah that's what we want to do once it gets down to it but first we need to make it through the next two votes before we can do that. If Daisy is really with us, all we really need is to make it through this tribal council because then we'll have a 3-2 numbers advantage. But I really doubt that Josh and Keegan would get together? I could be totally wrong but I don't know. That's assuming that we take out Carson next. Ned and I talked about the order going Carson, Josh, then Keegan. That's fine by me. I just wanna make sure that Daisy isn't gunna leave us behind for Josh. Those two are super close and I really would have liked him to go out last round but fucking Alex had to just self-vote and not answer anyone hflkfjlkdas

If anything does start go crazy or whatever or I think that someone is turning on Ned and I, I do still have my idol. The problem with it is that it wouldn't actually protect us but if one of us has immunity and I know someone is flipping on us then I could play it. Everyone would have to draw rocks so it would nullify their votes for Ned or I and then everyone would be at risk besides whoever has immunity. It would give us either a 1 in 5 or a 1 in 4 chance of going home instead of definitely going home from the votes. But if something like that doesn't happen then I am 100% not playing it. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad that I found it even if I don't play it because I wouldn't trust ANYONE ELSE besides myself with this idol.

I'm really hoping that I win this immunity because I'm driving myself nuts. I'm almost at 3 hours and I'm trying to decide if I want to call it quits then or go for 4 hours. I'm just so bored out of my mind and honestly writing this confessional has been so hard because I keep losing my train of thought because of this stupid fucking alarm. I also want to win because of the whole winning immunity and not getting voted out. Plus right now the only immunity I've won was during the blind round and I'm the only one who knows that I won so this would be one more thing I can say if I get to the end. I know I still have a little ways to go but I feel really good about my chances if I do go. I know there are some votes that I 100% wouldn't get but I think there also some that I would get. Plus I think I would have a really good case if I made it because honestly this merge, I did that. I really did. I just really hope that I get the chance to make my case and I don't get screwed over. Ned said he think the people most likely to flip on us would be Carson or Josh but frankly I could see Keegan flipping on us, too. Josh would only flip on us if Daisy flipped. But Keegan is definitely smart enough to know he probably can't take Ned or I to the end, right? And Carson and I have barely talked like AT ALL! I should really do that because we're in 2 games together and we don't talk for either. How awkward. He also just came for me in the other one so I'm hoping he isn't planning on doing it here, too.

I won immunity! Endurance challenges are my forte, no autographs, sorry. Almost six hours of posting every minute. I went three hours longer than anyone else!

And right down to business, as soon as the results were posted I had Daisy and Ned asking me which way to vote at tribal.

Daisy is really pushing for Sam, she thinks Sam and Ned are a really tight duo who would dominate the game if they were to get any farther. I have no doubts that they talk frequently. Honestly, I would prefer it if the vote was for Ned, I'm not as close to him as I am Sam.

The decision here is do I stick with my loyalties, or do I flip and potentially have an easier time at final tribal? At this point, I'm not even sure if I'd have an easier time at FTC against Daisy. She's been playing a strong game.

I'll see what Sam and Ned say about tribal, and then I'll decide which way to go.

Alternatively, if the plan is for Daisy and Josh to vote Sam, Sam and Ned to vote Carson and Carson to vote Josh, I could use my double vote to vote Daisy or Ned and force a tie. But that's kind of a crazy plan that might not work out in my favour.

i really flopped at that challenge, huh?

i always get such a weird vibe in this game and i HATE it but whatever, i can just hope i stay, bc all i was told was josh

I just told Sam that Daisy is gunning for her.

Having immunity is great because no matter what happens, I can't be voted out tonight.

Drama!

Whew. So today is the day I make my #move. I really hope this pays off. I really hope I can trust Keegan. Because if he flipped on me, I'll probably go home tonight. There are three possibilities for who could go home tonight. It could go my way, and everyone could do what they promised me they would, and Sam will go home. Or Keegan could flip on me, and they could all vote for me instead. Or, Sam and Ned could decide to vote for Josh and including Carson's vote for Josh he could go home. The first two scenarios are the most likely, in my opinion. I really hope this goes my way.

Wooooooo I'm prob not going woohoo. JK u never know but the plan I heard was to vote Sam so I'm going with it

Who's left in this game? Daisy's a snake. She needs to be destroyed immediately. Sssssssssssss. Keegan, Sam, Keegan's extra vote, and I are voting Daisy. She is not a delicate flower like her name suggests. She is a poisonous man-eating flower with a petal named Josh that does whatever she wants. Also, Carson lied to us about voting Josh during the blind round. HOWEVER, Sam and I are thinking about taking him to the end just because he's a massive goat. Ned out.

I was robbed