#actually I don't remember if I have post the previous chapters here on tumblr
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Part 5
sorry I bully Gale again X(
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3 durge#my art#actually I don't remember if I have post the previous chapters here on tumblr#rip#sorry for that
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the school-bound kingscholar || leona kingscholar
masterlist characters: Mwezi Miji Trio (OCs), Leona, Ruggie (platonic) genre: Angst contains: (Brief) Swearing, Possible OOC moments (depending on how you view Leona and Ruggie [mainly Leona]) summary: Following the admittance of Night Raven College's newest freshmen, both Kingscholars begin to come to terms with the newest changes in their lives. notes: I AM SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING AGAIN OTZ. Unfortunately, my lapses of writer's block and demotivation have only increased since I last posted. I'm trying to get back into the hang of posting things (as evident by my art account suddenly coming alive again). ALSO! As you can tell by the formatting, I'm actually writing with proper grammar on Tumblr now! Right now, I don't plan to go back to reformat the older chapters, but maybe once I find the drive to do it, I will! Thank you, everyone, for being so patient with me, I really appreciate it <3 parts: [og post] | [previous] | [next]
Leona felt something knock the air out of his lungs. To Ruggie, who stood right beside him in a robe that was a few inches too long, it was hilarious. Seeing the very prince (well, second prince) of the Afterglow Savanna lose his composure was enough to make Ruggie let out a quiet "Shyeheehee" under his breath before he ultimately straightened his posture under Leona's pointed glare.
Nothing could have prepared Leona to see (Name) again. Honestly, he had long since come to terms with the fact that his little sibling was missing, lost to the Outlands and likely a rotting corpse in the middle of nowhere.
He's lying, he could never come to terms with that, no matter how much he deluded himself.
But they were here. They were here and they were walking closer and they looked exactly the same as he remembered them.
Well, obviously, not exactly. But they looked so familiar and yet so different at the same time. Leona didn't even notice the tip of his tail swishing behind him until he heard one of his dorm members complaining about a tickling sensation against his ankles. And that only caused Leona to grumble under his breath and snatch the base of his tail to stop it from moving.
By the Seven, had they changed. They seemed bolder and more confident compared to the last time he had seen them. The way their shoulders were no longer hunched forward and instead rolled back in a pride strut he wished he could attribute to someone who had come to accept their own status or the way their eyes seemed sharper rather than soft and wide with innocence. And their hands. By the gods, what happened to their hands...? No, they had changed severely, akin to the way Leona recalled seeing the royal guards before and after their training.
Something had happened, that much he could figure out. And as much as he wanted to advance the board, reach out, and capture them like a king in a game of chess, he couldn't. Not when they were surrounded by a queen and two rooks.
"Ignore him," Nuru advised, although his words were more of a formality if anything. He knew how well you could handle yourself, but this was a unique situation.
"I know," you replied curtly, flipping your hood back on and sidling up to Nuru's right side. Jabori immediately flanked your other side in turn, followed by Jabali. It was a familiar formation, one that the four of you had cultivated for as long as you could remember.
"It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would," you whisper. However, the sharp pain lingering in your chest said otherwise.
Student after student soon began trickling out of each coffin, repeating the painstaking process of standing in front of the mirror, listening to its spiel about their innermost workings, before joining whatever dorm they were assigned to. Until finally, finally--
"We're done with orientation and dorm assignments?" One of the hooded figures lamented, his hand perched prim and properly on his hip. If you didn't any better, you'd assume that he was royalty or nobility. But, judging from his scent alone, he wasn't.
"Well, that ceremony was as boring as ever," Leona yawned, covering his mouth with his sleeve as he turned on his heels, facing the mass of hooded figures now under his care. "I'm going back to the dorm. If you're in Savanaclaw House, follow me."
He went to take a step amidst the other chattering dorm leaders before the doors slammed open, the handles banging against the wall from the force at which it swung. Leona groaned in response, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Psst, Nuru," Jabali called from his spot beside Jabori, leaning forward to actually see him. "Are you sure this is the right place? We're actually supposed to find answers from..."
Jabali paused and motioned out towards the commotion now terrorizing the mirror chamber. The little gray cat scampered around the floor, setting fire to whatever he could in some strange show of physical prowess and magical ability. "...These people?!"
Nuru said nothing at first. From where you stood beside him, you could tell doubt was beginning to creep up behind him. Lucky for him, Jabori decided to take the lead.
"This is Night Raven College," he points out, pulling back the hood of his robe by a hair to peer over at his twin. "Pretty much everyone here, especially the dorm leaders, are adept at some kind of magic. I mean, look."
This time, Jabori pointed towards the commotion, his finger following the way that the redhead shot a spell in the cat's direction, materializing a red and black collar around its neck.
"It's the best shot we have," he concludes, nodding in support of Nuru. That single gesture instantly calmed Nuru down, his shoulders no longer hunched up and his wings relaxing behind him. You merely smiled and patted his forearm in response. Jabali, on the other hand, grumbled under his breath and crossed his arms in begrudging compliance.
"Fine. But I'm not gonna get along with 'em or nothin'," Jabali huffed, rolling his eyes. Jabori laughed lightly at his brother's annoyance while Nuru let out a single huff of air.
"I wasn't gonna ask you too, either," Nuru hummed, glancing at Jabali from his peripheral. "Same goes for both of you, (Name), Jabori."
"Copy that," you nodded, the quiet chuckle that seemed to bubble from your throat disappearing the second Leona turned to face you and the rest of the new Savanaclaw members.
"You heard the headmage. I'm headin' back," Leona grumbled and, without missing a beat, brushed past the crowd and headed towards the door. Another hooded figure, one who had been standing beside Leona the entire ceremony, let out an exasperated sigh before raising his hand.
"Savanaclaw! Follow me," he ordered, earning a few half-hearted "Yes, sir"s from the rest of the huddled crowd.
You had to admit, it was pretty entertaining watching Jabali and Jabori marvel at the size of the campus halls. And Nuru too, if only he'd have more obvious reactions rather than just a single flick of a wing or a tilt of the head.
While the halls were nothing compared to the Kingscholar home, it was still pretty big. If you were any smaller than you were now, you'd probably react the same way.
"No way they need these doors to be this big," Jabali murmured, lightly elbowing your arm and pointing at one of the classroom doors. Your eyes followed his finger and a snicker managed to escape you. He wasn't wrong, those doors were freakishly huge, both in height and width.
Jabali went to comment on something else before he stopped, his eyes drifting over toward the new mirror chamber everyone had been led to. The doors were held open to accommodate the crowd, letting handfuls of students walk towards a mirror and get sucked into it, the glass rippling as if took wisps of bodies and left nothing in its wake.
"Savanaclaw House! This'll be your only way in and out of the dorm," the same hooded figure that led you all here called out. He had hopped up onto the lip of the mirror's decoration, using one of the rib-like sculptures as an armrest.
"Hurry up and get in! The faster you do, the faster you'll get to claim your rooms," he snickered before skipping ahead of the first dorm member and hopping into the mirror.
The prospect of first come first served seemed to spur on the first years, causing a near stampede of people trying to get into the mirror first. Nuru hooked an arm around your waist while Jabali did the same with Jabori, the two of them finding a single break in the crowd to get away, Nuru through flight, and Jabali through scaling one of the pillars by the wall.
Lucky for the four of you, the mirror seemed to accommodate more and more people as the crowd diminished. Perhaps through how many bodies reached a specific threshold, you thought. Regardless of the magical mechanics, it allowed Nuru and Jabali to let you and Jabori down after a few minutes.
"So many people," you grumbled under your breath, earning a quiet chuckle from Jabori. Nuru and Jabali nodded at your observation before the four of you hopped into the mirror yourselves.
Immediately, the four of you felt the familiar searing heat of the sun beating down on your skin. It almost felt like home if not for the increased heat coming from the fire serving as lights just outside the dorm's entrance.
Jabali and Nuru were the first to shrug off their robes, the former because he finally had enough of the stuffy fabric, and the latter because the heat was already starting to congregate around his feathers. You and Jabori followed suit, although the two of you merely hiked up your sleeves and flipped down your hoods.
Nuru shook out his wings and let out a soft grunt, one of his feathers falling into the sand beneath your feet. Turning to look over his shoulder, he shot the three of you a soft, almost comforting smile.
"Off we go, then," he hums, waving for you all to follow. If it were anyone else, you three probably would've found offense to a command as expectant as that. But it wasn't just anyone else. It was Nuru, the Guardian, and your dear friend.
The inside of Savanclaw was nothing really to marvel at like the rest of the school's campus. It wasn't cramped, per se, but it was quite a bit more tight than to your liking. Luckily, the walkway opened up the building quite a bit with the roped bridges connecting each floor.
Nuru scanned the room for a moment before his eyes landed on a room on the top floor, tucked all the way in the furthest corner. You figured everyone else left it since it was so far and their mentalities were focusing on that first come first served promise your leader from before declared.
Nuru unfurled his wings and shot up past the bridges, making a beeline towards the unoccupied room. He didn't have to go that fast, of course, considering only a few students were lingering in the walkways who sure as hell weren't planning on making the long walk up there.
Jabali seemed to share their sentiment considering his frustrated "Damn it, Nuru" muttered under his breath. A long, drawn-out sigh escaped his lips before he trudged up along the nearest bridge, his hands shoved in his pockets and his robe slung haphazardly over his shoulder.
You and Jabori took a more relaxed walk up behind him, appreciating the familiar decorations that reminded you of your hometown. Of course, that appreciation turned into apprehension at the thought of Mwezi Miji now being unguarded by the main four.
What if something happened? What if they had sent word of an all-out war between themselves and the Dens and you hadn't heard of it since you all were knocked out in coffins? What if they were all already--
"On your right," Nuru called to you from the doorway, his hand shooting out to grab your shoulder. Ah, you had gotten distracted. Nuru shot you a concerned glance, his brows furrowed in the same way they always were when you got stuck in your head before he ushered you into the room.
Jabali and Jabori had already claimed their beds on the left side of the room, Jabali near the door and Jabori near the window. This left the entire right side open for you and Nuru.
The winged beastman glanced over at you, patiently waiting for your next move. You caught his glance and mustered up a small smile before heading towards the bed closest to the door. Nuru subtly lit up at your decision, a little skip in his step as he moved towards the window.
You managed to hold back a snort at his hidden excitement. He always loved the window spot. Maybe it reminded him of when he was small enough to fit through them back home.
"So, what's up with you and that new first year, huh?" Ruggie huffed as he walked straight into Leona's room, leaning down to pick up a discarded shirt and dropping it in the laundry basket. "I've never seen you react that way other than with them."
"Watch your words, Ruggie," Leona growls from the bed, his head already buried in his pillow. His back was facing Ruggie who still stood in the doorway, but with the way his ears were perked up, it was fairly obvious that he wasn't even close to sleeping.
"My bad," Ruggie snicked in response, holding up his hands defensively. "But, seriously, who was that? Someone I need to watch the pockets of? I mean, who else would it be if not roy--"
"Out," Leona demanded, his hand latching onto his pillow and launching it backward at Ruggie, the soft fabric turning into dust and scattering across the floor as he muttered the incantation under his breath. Ruggie yelped and scampered out of the room, throwing the door closed behind him before he could see the pillow disintegrate into sand.
Leona took a single breath through his nose before slowly sitting up. He rubbed at his face before reaching over to the desk placed beside his bed, his fingers curling around the drawer's handle and pulling it open.
Underneath notebooks thrown carelessly inside lay a single photograph. It was small, yet free of any creases. He lifted the books off of it before slipping the photo out, nearly cradling it in his palm.
Back when he first found the photo tucked neatly in one of his notebooks, he grimaced. It was an annoying keepsake, one that only served to remind him of the bothersome family waiting for him back home. But now...
Now the sight of his little sibling smiling ever so brightly while his older brother screamed in the background about a bug in his hair brought the smallest twitch of a smile to his lips.
taglist: @brokenncrown @help-meplz @destinationdesignation @rainys-personal-garden @kalims @sxftiebee @luxaryllis @auld-a @the-dumber-scaramouche @ayra2452008 @tinywho-man @spadecentral @justeclem44 @kenma-izhu @mulandi @sadimon @stormyovent0aster @sn00zl4x @f1fty-f1fty @bloomed-night-flower @madusas-girlfriend @b0nkers-papaya @arandomeroacher @randonamedcl @potabletable @meerpea @luvcalico @chlousp @prettyinblack231 @dindarasuum @elizaboba @ravenlking @reveristmain @lasignoramybeloved @poto-de-michi @sherryuki-callmeyuki @cadit-in-aestus-sidereum @valeriele3 @munchkinkazooie @venusdandy @Leviathansgamerbuddy @poorunfortunatesimp @yarnoverpullthru @potablee @sunnydaze4ever @anxious-chick @silvers-tongue @minteaspoon @kitty-chan33 @hornehlittleweeblet2 @letskeepitsimpleshallwe @atsuki-mitsuri @catgirlwannabe @miss-puregotti @havens-not-here @sacrificialwife1 @cherrykissesss890 @a-random-bored-person @shuriiiewrites @chaos-inperson @1midnightcoffee @mizucika @lunavixia @gasoline-eater @thesirenwashere @rainingdandelion @thomanok @BakabaneSimp @mariesakamari @steruberry @potatohuman04 @illnesscomm @blu3b3rri-p4yn3 @kahunap @turtleducker @BooPleg03 @twst-rui @rotting-nerium @devilfishcafe @marisely03 @angelthoughtz @valka-230 @kih-lux @honestlyyoungcandy
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland headcanons#twisted wonderland imagines#twisted wonderland scenarios#twisted wonderland angst#twst angst#twisted wonderland leona#twisted wonderland leona x reader#twst leona#twst leona x reader#leona x reader#twisted wonderland leona kingscholar#twisted wonderland leona kingscholar x reader#twst leona kingscholar#twst leona kingscholar x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#twisted wonderland ruggie#twst ruggie#twisted wonderland ruggie bucchi#twst ruggie bucchi#black sheep#platonic#twst platonic
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trobed fic recs?
i take my job as an armchair tumblr connoiseur of trobed content way too seriously so here's my giant masterlist of all my favorite trobed fanfics. i didn't cross check this with any previous lists so there may be some overlap but this one is more extensive and will include some older fics. also if it's not listed here that doesn't mean i don't love it, these are just the ones i specifically remembered to write about. please send the authors some love if you have the time to check their works out!
also i did go through all 87 pages of content on the troy barnes/abed nadir tag in order to find some of these. no, i haven't read them all, but i have read most of them.
fitter, happier, more productive by Toft: i've reread this fic so many times and i regularly forget it's over a decade old. if you haven't read any older trobed fics you are absolutely missing out
Advanced Cohert Dating by Aria: classic trobed fic, so cute and in character
Beginner's Relationship Detecting by KlavierWrites: in quite a similar vein to the last one, but i like both!
Fundamentals of Self-Awareness by Rainbowcat: a great lighthearted read, it's one of the most popular trobed fics for a reason.
Homosexuality and Homosociality in Queer Cinema by ama: this might be the first trobed fic i ever read? still so good and a must read for any gay troy barnes truthers
Annie, Abed and the Long Con by callmealvinandthechipmunks: know i've talked about this one before but it's just so great. the shrack plotline is genuinely one of the most canon things i've ever seen written for greendale
Introduction to Unconscious Bias by theimprobable1: i'm a sucker for the trope of troy thinking hes homophobic when he's actually just gay for abed
cardiovascular endurance and the art of recovery by clonetrobed: you guys know i love my abed h/c especially when it's to do with abed's bullying.
His Innermost Thoughts by LeetSpeak: my favorite trobed high school au, definitely inspired me while i was writing mine!
My Angel by orphan_account: trobed ghost fic that did make me genuinely sob
never could be sweeter by clonetrobed: this fic is just straight up a work of art.
Advanced Emotional Reconciliation and Anti-Clone Catharsis by Luuuna03: been a minute since i read this one but it's a great multi chapter reunion fic!
Fits Like A Glove by human_tennis_elbow: super cute trobed proposal!!
just you and i tonight (why don't you figure my heart out?) by r3medialcha8s: the day r3medialcha8s starting posting on a03... you just had to be there. their impact
the things we don't write in our autobiographies by fffggghhh: similarly to prev, the fic that put user troybarnesbabygirlconfirmed on my roster. god bless my insanely talented mutuals
Assignment Extension Rejected by ChrisSucks: speaking of talented mutuals this fic is criminally underrated
when it comes to a lot of the authors on this list i could put like every single fic they've have ever written, and there's so much i didn't get to, but this post took me ages so im gonna call it done.
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Okay i got an emil notification about your NQK update before your tumblr post?! Now that surprised me!
It's like 1 AM and i don't think leo is the only one with Insomnia - ngl i felt that am getting called out 😂 - So we start and i think because it's been a long time friend the previous NQK chapter i really forgot that F!Donnie is now " Donatello " whil F!Mikey js "Michaelangelo" and brain was flipping between "huh? Is that the youngest or the eldest?!"
So we start right off with with F!Dee getting jealous and boy oh boy i believe little ol' Donnie will find this exciting and more of a "parent figure approval" 😂
The talk goes to the bandana and i kid you not i remembered previous fics where some F!Leo/s had either put the other masks as a nice accessory ir put it on his sword and just hung it there as a memory (forgot the fic).
So this makes me think of "How F!Leo would make of the bandanas AFTER he make peace with decades of war?" It really makes me excited thinking about it 🤩
Also it made me think - don't know if i asked before but - does F!Leo still can open his portals and travel? (I know in other fic he can but what about the Canon fic NQK?).
It's kinda sad how Leo's still holding on to the masks but still understandable because well... It's been decades of WAR! That can't be just brushed under the rug with a nice few months in the lair. So until F!Leo finally decided when he can " move on " he deserves to keep the masks with him...
F!Leo hugging ghost!F!Dee was so sad and somewhat... Bittersweet? Because he's glad he can see/talk and almost hug his twin but that's about it, he wants to be greedy and have the two of them, april, his dad back home but that would be too much (And am sure he would be worried about 'Don't push your luck' type of quote or he may lose everything).
But AHHHHHHHHH AM SCREAMING FOR THE ART PIECE YOU MADE! SURE IT'S SAD BUT THE COLORS AND ART STYLE IS REALLY WARMING ME UP AS IF IT'S - again - A BLANKET!! I LOVE THIS FEELING 🩷🩷🩷🩷
Then que F!Mikey entering the chat (lmao ngl thought that was little mikey) and took a pic lol!! I don't know if he can take picture of ghosts but imagine if you can use mystic power or ninpo to see ghosts in the picture?! That would be awesome, F!Dee & F!Raph would mess with so many people.
And then here comes Dracum entering the chat 🐐😂 MF i can imagine him entering the room with sandal in hand ready to beat F!Mikey up especially after hearing "I used it to lift a blanket up" 😂😂😂
But it was so surprising to me when be gave him a "therapist" card, from the color purple i thought it was from either Donnie or 🤢 Big mama 🤢
But god i love a soft carrying dad draxum like my next door neighbour! Always welcomed 🩷
That's all for my review for the chapter! It was such a great treat since it's been a while! Am still gonna keep my eyes - and phone - open for any updates because LORD I LOVE NQK🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
LMAO YEAH that's because I really wanted to publish the chapter that day but was already crashing when I posted it, so couldn't make a Tumblr post until the next day 😂
Hehe we'll see what Leonardo will do with the masks! First of all, wash them, probably :D He has a weird relationship with all of his keepsakes, re: the Raph-like prosthetic arm. He doesn't want to get rid of them but seeing them also still hurts, despite everything :')
Yes NQK Leonardo can use his portals!! He just hasn't had a reason to do that in the main fic (yet 😎)
God. Fug. Dang dude. "Don't push your luck or you may lose everything" legitimately made me tear up. That whole paragraph contributed, actually. "HE WANTS TO BE GREEDY" like ajkhjdsfhj how dare you (/aff) hit me with an emotional bomb like this all of a sudden. He does. He wants all of his family, he doesn't think it's fair that only three of them survived, and this brings us back to the enormous guilt he feels for not being able to save everyone.
Donatello is there with him, not in flesh but literally in spirit, he can be hugged and talked to, but Leonardo wants him to live. It's so freaking heartbreaking. I as the author have the power to bring him his family back, in flesh and blood and bone, but like I said ages ago, that's not what NQK is about. It's about accepting loss and healing and finding happiness, and about family and love. They can't change the past any more than what they've already been graciously given, the only way is forward. ;_;
BUT THANK YOUUU for liking the drawing, it makes me go 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 so bad jdfhj (and to make it worse, I made a different version which I'll post here later)
Ninpo ghosts show up in photos normally!! At least in NQK universe they do 😂 Too bad for Donatello, can't do all the crime if he can be caught in 4K
Soft caring dad Draxum ftw<333
THE THERAPIST CARD. Oh my gosh Draxum does NOT trust Big Mama one bit, rest assured, and Donnie has no such connections. No, the light purple colour is actually referencing... drum roll... THIS GUY
Yes Tev is now a yokai and a part of NQK universe but no, she won't show up in the fic so no worries about me actually bringing in non-canon characters. "Leonardo Goes To Therapy" is not a chapter I want to write, nor sprinkle in the appointments in detail, so it all happens off-screen 😂
Thank you SO SO SO MUCH again for reading and spending your precious time writing this comment!!!! It made me so happy but I'm a little sorry that this reply got so long and rambly XD ANYWAY ILYSM
#Of course I'm Leonardo's therapist in-universe. I'm the one giving him his happy ending after all#fic: not quite kintsugi but close#tervdraws#tevvie
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"7- Poor Buttercup! My heart broke for her in this chapter! 😢
7 - She's going through it.. You wait till the next chapter 🫠😬"
"8- Butch is the best boyfriend Buttercup could ever asked for! 😭
8 - 😬😬😬"
"you're all going to hate me after I post this next chapter 😬 Like chapter 8 is.. I'll just say sorry now."
...Oh my God... BRICK!!! DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!! 😭😭😭😭😭
Lol! Can't wait to see how you are gonna break my heart to pieces! xD 🥲
And honestly, don't worry too much. We're not going to hate you. I actually started caring about the greens (especially Buttercup) when they get involved in some heavy shit like this. I only read your fanfic for the Reds, I never cared about the Greens nor the Blues (especially the Blues). And that's not because you didn't write them well, it's just that they always were meh to me. xD
But the last chapter you did really made me care about Buttercup and sympathize with her. So, what you're doing is a good thing for her character (even though it was so painful to read! xD 😭).
So, don't worry and do what you do best. 🙂
And this is an Ask, so I should ask you something! 🤣: So, you said you don't know when you will update after chapter 8. Does that mean chapter 9 is not written yet? Because I remember you saying you had written until chapter 11.
Another question: When exactly do you think you will release chapter 8?
Hi! Love to hear you've become more invested in the greens! They're a close second to the reds for me - it's the blues I struggle with, which I think is clear in my writing. I do need to work on it. But yeah I'm with you, they reel me in the least too, however I want to get better at writing them in a way that does peak my own interests let alone anyone elses! Yeah I have written up to chapter 12 I do believe.. I am not 100 percent on that though as I haven't actually sat down & looked at any of my writing in a long time. I'm tackling tumblr first, then ao3 & ff.net! Then I'm going to look at updating. I'll be updating Prophecy first. I can't give you an actual date, or any idea of when it will be, how soon it will come etc.. But it will be soon. As I said in my previous response, things have been tough personally for me at the moment, but I'm trying to find my joy again & one of the ways I am doing that is to try and get back into writing. I miss it deeply. I'll try to be a little more forthcoming with general updates from here on out anyway. Thanks for sticking around regardless! MF
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Daily Blog June 27, 2023
Arg! I'd hoped to spend sometime planting the pretty flowers I bought yesterday but to my dismay I discovered an invasive weed was mixed in with my Shasta Daisies, which are just about to bloom. The kind of weed that attaches to your clothes and skin. Gloves came out and two hours later, I made a huge dent. Flowers tomorrow.
I had mentioned there were would be additional categories I'd throw into the mix and today I have one I've been anxious to get to. I'm going to call it Magical Elves. They are the people who help make fandom run. I mentioned @phoenixacid in an earlier post, who has been hosting @hd-fan-fair for ten years. This category will cover folks like her and that do even more...yes, even more...
What I'm reading:
On the Discord Drarry Fans Writers and Artists there is a channel for recs. I stole this one from there but then discovered I'd already read it. However, it was long enough ago that I don't remember all of the details. I think I read it when it first came out and before I hopped back into fandom in spring of 2021. The Ordeal of Being Known (146k) by @lou-isfake. I'm only on chapter 3 right now but I just love this Draco and his Oscar the Grouch house-slippers and his house-elf Timsy. The writing is so fresh and clever, I find myself smiling most of the time. Here's the summary, which I think gives you a flavor of the writing style I'm talking about:
When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter. Features fuzzy cartoon slippers, devious house elves, 90s music, and lots—LOTS—of memories. Ron is annoyingly hot, Hermione sees right through you, Harry is a powerful idiot, and Draco is a reclusive masochist that would buy an entire city if it would make a kid happy. (And Pansy is "5'2, I wanna dance with you, and I'm sophisticated fun.")
Go read The Ordeal of Being Known on AO3.
Hit the Keep Reading!!!!!
Magical Elves:
The first person I want to highlight in this category is actually someone I've met in person at HP Cons and we've stayed in touch over the years in real life. *hugs darlin* You've probably seen @sassy-cissa's name as an author or maybe an email asking you about a fic for a fest but I'm betting most of you have no idea how much she's done for fandom for more than a decade and half, especially for Drarry fandom.
Let me list the ways in how awesome she is:
Current modding responsibilities:
25 Days of Draco and Harry (started in 2009) What 2009 ? Oh my! And do you know she reads each and every story posted for the fest and comments, too! HD Mpreg Fest – (started in 2011 – I've been modding since 2018) HD Fan Fair/Career Fair – co-modding since 2019)
Previous modding responsibilities:
Co-mod for H/D Erised from 2014 to 2018 Moderated the H/D Prophet from about 2016 to 2021
See that last one H/D Prophet. Take a look at the link just for a moment. Every Drarry WIP that was updated that week was listed, fests' status, drabble prompts, etc...Every single week. The prophet soon closed down after a few more months due to lack of participation (fandom had moved away from LJ).
Communities owned and/or Maintain:
On LJ: Slythindor100 and HarryDraco Mpreg On Tumblr: H/D Mpreg and Slythindor100
In addition, why yes there is more, Sassy writes, too, and beautifully! Sassy-Cissa (on AO3). Over 109 stories, mostly Drarry, some Hermione/Severus and a few Harry/Ginny...but as she put it....(but they usually end up divorced or Ginny dies). *snicker*
And she's on FanLore! And she also betas for some of the best.
So I know this is long but I just want folks to be aware of those working in the background, making our experience here in fandom enjoyable and filled with lovely content. They truly are magical elves. Sassy doesn't post much on Tumblr or on Discord but she does pop-in now and then. Next time you see her name, you'll now know who she is.
Tumblr Tidbit:
Did you know that you can edit the text below the Keep Reading line on your post and it will make the changes to all reblogs of your post. Edit above and sorry the reblogs will show the original. This comes in handy if you're making a Masterlist of works or something else that has lots of links or needs to be updated frequently.
Happy Tuesday and Sorry this was so late. My ancient computer decided to crash multiple times. Rom
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Reading Log 2024.04 - April
Previous: Reading (Watching) Log 2024.02-2024.03 - February-March
Reading languages: German, English, French, Japanese, not listing which was what. (There's also been some feeble attempts at Chinese.)
Titles are as I’ve read them either first or most and thus remember it for that title mostly
Not going to bother putting in the original titles of translated reads unless there is something worthy of note to it
Cursive titles have been completed
Some notes' content may be subject to repetition here and there, as I also copied some older notes from casual conversations over and didn't go through any rounds of cutting things down.
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APRIL
I now have a new phone lockscreen wallpaper. (See entrance image. It's from How to Survive as a Villain's webtoon a.k.a. To Be or Not to Be chapter 71). The moon being pretty, and a thing for me is kinda self-explanatory given my alias names, but usually you find images with moons to have them being all on the upper part of the image, because obviously moons are up there in the sky. However, for phone lock screens this is incredibly unpractical, because on the upper part is the time display and that one's white... So this one is perfect with the moon not being on the upper part but the lower part of the image. I wonder what blossoms there are supposed to be. I'd guess peach blossoms (with the village being called literally Peach Blossom Village, but wasn't it supposed to be summer in that timeline? And peach blossoms bloom in March to April.)
I found out that you can add any number of tags, but tumblr kicks everything bar the first 30 somethings upon saving and among those displayed only the first 20 actually will count for showups if you want to filter posts with that hashtag. Or like search on the phone app. What the heck. What do you mean I need to actually choose the most important ones now each time. D:
Maybe I should try do monthlies after all, so there won't be as many tags to begin with.
I feel like this is gonna just be a rambling about one particular series this month anyway...
I have learned something new this month. The Chinese have a slang word called 'dog blood'. It's apparantely coming from theater where death scenes were enacted with dog blood and first was about extended nonsensical farewell speeches of death scenes but eventually expanded to describe all sorts of cheap cheesy lines in general. Or in other words, this is basically synonymous to what I call bad, rotten or trash cheese.
Light Novels:
7th Time Loop v2
Brunhild v1-2
By the Grace of Gods V12
Dragon Live Online p8-11.5
Hell Mode v3p1-3
How to Survive As a Villain Novel ch46-57, ch181-183, Ch58-75, ch209-210, ch206, ch196, ch76-136 (and some other random scene cheery picks completely out of order)
Is it wrong to pick up Girls in a Dungeon v9
Mushoku Tensei v1p1-6
The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p15-56
The Eminence in Shadow v2p6-8
The Executioner and Her Way of Life v1
The Faraway Paladin v1-2
The Saint's Magic Power is Omipotent LN v2p1-v3p6
Unnamed Memory After the End v1p16-22
Unnamed Memory LN v1p1-2
Wolf and Parchment v4-5
Your Forma v4
Manga:
Aiko und die Wölfe des Zwielichts v1-3
Ano Natsu ga Houwa suru. ch17
Are You Okay with a Slightly Older Girlfriend? Ch2.4-16.1
August 15th
Buta no Liver wa Kanetsushiro ch35.1-2
Dance in the Vampire Bund The Memories of Sledgehammer v2ch5-8
Delinquent Daddy & Tender Teacher v3
Domestic na Kanojo v5-8
Don't Call Me Daddy
Ein schicksalhafter Bund mit dem Fuchs v1-v2ch11
Fake it to Break it Ch1-8.3
Feng Yu Jiu Tian ch1-4
Flying Witch v11-12ch73
Get the Moon
Goblin Slayer The Singing Death v4ch16-19
Goblin Slayer Year One v8
Goblin Slayer v12
Hallo, ich bin eine Hexe und mein Schwarm wünscht sich einen Liebestrank von mir v3ch15
Hiso Hiso v4-6
How I Attended an All-Guy's Mixer Ch1-4
In Sachen… Geheimnisse (v3)
In Sachen… Vertrauen (v2)
Intoxicated East Wind Skimthrough
Iron Cock Skimthrough
Isekai Transporter ch1-4
Isekai de Ane ni Namae wo Ubawaremashita ch18.1
Kakan no Oukoku no Hanagirai Hime ch12.3-13.1
Kakko Warukute Kakkoii Kimi v1
Ki ga Au to Iu Koto wa v1
Kijima-san & Yamada-san Ch17.3-24.2
Knitter's High ch27.1-2
Koisuru (Otome) no Tsukurikata ch82-83
Kono Koi wo Hoshi ni wa Negawanai ch12.3-13.1
Korsar der Liebe v1-3
Like Milk & Honey v1-2
Living With My Brother's Wife Ch12-15-48
Lonely Castle in the Mirror v1-3
Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru ch31
Maid-san wa Taberu dake ch48
Mein Isekai-Leben v1-v4ch12
Mir dir im Wunderland v2 (ou of order read)
Miryou no Otome to Katabutsu Hittou Majutsushi no Hatsukoi Kiroku bangaihen3-4
My Awkward Senpai Ch71-75
My Elder Sister v5-6ch44
My Not-So-Fair Lady is Doomed! (But Not If I Can Help It) Ch1.1-4.1
My Roommate is a Cat v6-8ch24
My Unexpected Marriage Ch1-10.2
Okazari Ouhi ni Nattanode, Kossori Hataraki ni deru koto ni Shimashita ~Usagi ga Iru no de Hitorine mo Sabishiku Arimasen!~ ch25.2-26.4
On or Off v1-4
Rebirth Two Lives I Still Love You ch0-2
Ryuko v2
Sasaki & Peeps v1
Shuumatsu Touring ch37.1-2
Soko ni Suwaruna
Suicide Notes Laid on the Table Ch20-35.1
The 6th Loop: I'm Finally Free of Auto Mode in this Otome Game Ch1.1-3.2
Tokyo Aliens v7ch29-33
Unamed Memory ch36.1-2
Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi ch38.1-3
Yomei Ichinen to Senkokusareta Boku ga, Yomei Hantoshi no Kimi to Deatta Hanashi ch11.1-2
Webtoons:
Breed my Dear Enemy Ch182-194
Fall in the Night with You Ch72-73
Flowers in the Secret Place Ch89-155
Her Atypical Story Ch0-5
Ice Lamp: The Chronicles of Kira Ch45-48
Taberare Usa ch99-101
The Blind & The Homeless Ch8-42
The Goddess of Healing Ch67-79
To be or not be Ch24-95
Notes:
To Be or Not to Be (reread on Comikey in progress): So well, the first time was a bit not as attentive and then too quick on binge last month so I simply started from the beginning again. And it's so funny in hindsight that it took me until starting the novel to realized this fellow is just about as aroace as you can be (who slowly drops into a demi-romance). Like, I should have had caught the hint latest with this:
(Difference between a brotherly love or one between lovers)
This is, if you think about it, not the sort of question you'd normally ask, especially not when somebody just confessed to you and there is no homophobia theme nor desperate denial at play, and you don't even doubt that it's meant seriously and can even see that the feelings are genuine. It's.... totally a question I'd also ask, tho. No wonder, this entire progression of that romance and him taking so long to catch on just felt so plausible to me.
Other than that, I still think the first season (up to their first separation) is a pretty great adaption, it takes shortcuts and adds some more flourish at places. The second and third seasons however, after reading the novels now feel excruciatingly chopped, although it still manages to do the most important scenes right. But much of its worldbuilding and side characters is just gone, and some things are still there but don't exactly make any sense - like that hairband from eunuch Zhao that snapped, it ever was only shown intact in the webtoon, but when Xiao YuAn goes to bury his box of mementos there is Hong Xiu's hairpin this broken hairband. Or the list of names of fallen soldiers. Other little changes make sense, and some just seem clunky. (Like this whole "I want to bed him" in the last arc has an entirely different vibe considering they had been at it before already unlike in the novel.) And my complaint after the first read that the last third just seems way too focused on the two MCs with zero inclusion of the side characters or expanding the world, the novel in fact is like that still in that arc, but it already has done all that in the second season, which was nearly entirely cut in the webtoon (or if you look really closely there are some one-liners or random panels showing it) and does some more in the extras, which the webtoon doesn't adapt. Still it does get many of the most important scenes right and the art remains pretty. (Except the last third still has me had this eyelashes issue. Whyyyy.)
How to Survive As a Villain Novel ch46-57, ch181-183, Ch58-75, ch209-210, ch206, ch196, ch76-136 (and some other random scene cheery picks completely out of order): When you go like, let's read it slowly so it lasts longer!! and that even works, but then you just start reading backwards and then all across all over the place out of order anyway. Oh, well....
I already got some clear aroace moods with Xiao YuAn in the beginning that I read last month but upon reading on.... this fellow's really about as aroace as you can be without naming it. It even goes all the length of establishing him as somebody who doesn't understand it at all, has to ask about it, and questions the veracity of the answer at places. (And I still think the "sexual orientation" bits on the official character bios on both him and Yan HeQing are a complete riot. 😂) They both look very demi to me; if that original novel is to still apply Yan HeQing falls for somebody who extends their hand when he's in anguish and suffering and over that emotional attachment he develops feelings (and then it's a dam breaking). For Xiao YuAn it's obviously very slow burn and building one little pebble atop another until a wall that makes him feel safe has been built.
What I thought was incredibly interesting tho, Xiao YuAn still comes off as pretty ace even after all is said and done. And he doesn't exactly know it - he continues to live with a misconception that's just incredibly widespread and not known. In that same scene from the above webtoon snippet he asks Yan HeQing what sort of like/love is he even refererring to. Does he know the difference, is it a brotherly/comradery feeling or one between lovers. That's also what is in the webtoon in Chinese (I actually went to check that one out), but the novel (which scene I also went to check out, at least what web version I could find in Chinese) has him be much more crude and to the point to put that question between that brotherly like/love or if it was one where Yan HeQing would want to have sex with him. (Which he answers rather clearly as having very much some voracious appetite for him in that respect, the answer is still there in the webtoon.) Now put this next to each other. That's his idea: The love of lovers is something that includes sexual desire. Sound familiar? Uhu. He even suggests in lieu of answering him that they simply do the deed. In order to learn and find out. The man's got some very wrong ideas right there. A few of them seem way too dumbly familliar.
The hilariously funny part is, Xiao YuAn proceeds to be incredibly unhinged about this spice stuff afterward. He is going for it, he does the most outrageous things, but he does them in a way that just feels entirely clueless or he realizes just how extreme they are after it's already done or shortly about to be done and he reflects on it and feels incredibly stupid. And most of all, if he causes a dam break in Yan HeQing who, all seduced and riled up, can't help but eat him up rather ravenously he always winds up wailing for him to please stop, because kinda, he didn't have that in mind at all so much. It's like he never really is aware of what he's gonna get himself into and doesn't really learn his lessons either. But also, once he gets touched, he is plenty able to feel sexual pleasure, he doesn't exactly hate it. It's just... it seems more like a passive body reaction, a sort of being okay with it, rather than an innate desire out of attraction? He never seems actually thirsty for it (unlike Yan HeQing who is incredibly straving for it, but knows it and restrains himself constantly.)
He's the first to initiate and propose them doing it and is notoriously stubborn about getting Yan HeQing to do it, but also says it's not like he is in a hurry (or like coming off as badly wanting it because of an actual proper desire like Yan HeQing always has), but it's just he feels like they'd never get the right timing to do it at all otherwise. It makes him sound desperate, like he feels a duty to actually do it and guilty for not doing it, almost as if he has to prove something. And whenever Yan HeQing kinda distances himself from him for whatever reason his go to is to try seduce him and break his self-control for forced up intimacy. (And then just winds up regretting it, because it's too much.) And it seems to entirely not align with what he actually wants and needs most fo have exactly that connection he seeks. After that last dramatic reunion in the third part where Yan HeQing is so out of himself and selfcontrol he wants him so badly tied to bed and everything like those innermost desires he once told him (but never actually executed like that, because he doesn't want to hurt him), Xiao YuAn instead just wants to hug him. He's wanting physical intimicy, but it's more about lying in one another's arms for a peaceful sleep. Every single time when he's still oblivious to it all, but clearly already attached, he just has Yan HeQing accompany him to spend some quality time together. He's the one who wants to have dates even as they weren't named such and even has to explain that thing about it's simply to just spend some good time together to him. (All the while Yan HeQing is so thirsty wanting to steal kisses from him.) And whenever he fawns over the man, it's kinda suspiciously in just aesthethic ways...? (well for what I've read anyway.)
30% of it feels more like a sort of playfulness, a sort of stubborn competition, fueled by those "tyrannical president" antics, which trope he entirely is not, but spent his entirely past life being forced into being and still very much influences his thought process. Almost as if if he doesn't get Yan HeQing to jump at him, it's like he is lacking in attractiveness, something that chips away at his self value. Another 30% is him appearing like he considers it the thing to be done, almost as if he owes it to him, especially as he knows that Yan HeQing's wants in that regard run much deeper and notorious. Yet another 30% is him kinda just enjoy everything before the actual act. Like as if getting him to do it is the goal rather than actually doing it. He clearly enjoys the teases to break Yan HeQing's defenses, his self-control, his stoism. And even as he knows some of his things are kinda outrageous, he, to some extend, still enjoys them. It's kinda the same thing with his fixation on terrible tropes and cheesy lines and everything 'dog blood', it's excruciatingly terrible, all trashy, but he can't help but also kinda look forward to it. The last 10% are... really just him having no darn clue. Like however did he think that red silk bondage was a good idea??? 😂 Maybe I should not laugh as me, surely I'd be just as dumb myself if it ever came to be...
Other than that I quite like how the isekai/transmigration thing plays out.
Xiao YuAn doesn't really get to be all OP or a sort of cheater because of being from a modern world - that is not as a plot device. There are some indications and little details that he does bring in some modernization, like proposing that meritocratic exams system the actual historical China also has had, but it's never really played as a plot point that flaunts his superior knowledge or anything. What he ultimately winds up tackling - corruption, decandency - are things entirely the same still in the modern word and he's also struggling with it all the same as he would in any modern world as well. He knows the future by the plotline, but beyond having a better grasp at insight to their character and be nice to them Hamefura-style, it's at the same time also kinda the obvious thing to do as a decent person. And he's having plenty ability to have an insight on human nature and getting other people liking him even without the cheat skills from the novel plot as his time in the TaoYuan village proves.
I still absolutely do not like that bit about Xiao YuAn's brother, he just remains a complete plot device, but that the doppelgänger from Wester Shu gets to wake up in the modern world as him to improve on his own depression and helplessness was a nice touch. (One the webtoon should have rather have, when it had them actually have a conversation with each other, rather than how in the novel Xiao YuAn only every saw him from a distrance and asked about him. He remained a completely stranger there, so him kinda not having as much compassion to upkeep his past identity's honor seems more plausible. Especially as he's introduced as a good guy, unlike that Nothern emperor who is a scummy villain (and then even he got to have a little bit pity left for him by the original book's ending for him with is love affair.))
That and how it's part of how Xiao YuAn has a few deep seated traumata and in that way that they don't seem obvious at all, because he drowns it all in his smiles, his goofy riduculousness, his apparant ability to just let grudges go when all he does is just to bury them and run away. All that load, it didn't just magically disappear in his new life, no, they come to wreck him even in this new world. He has baggage and a new life doesn't magically fix it nor is this fantasy escapism world it the solution to it in the end. How many isekai tales actually make use of this oppotunity to add some more emotional development? We never really learn much about how he lived his life in the modern world, but little insight is there only describes titbits to establish the origins. But it was never really addressed in his childhood and it wasn't cured at all either, nor is it likely that it's curable at all. Those scars are there and with his futile struggles they only got worse culmating in his rash and terrible decisions. What ultimately keeps it in check and just puts a lid on it without erasing it, is being showered with that love he was missing his entire life by Yan HeQing and his found family in the village and also realizing how the easy way out of it has devastating consequences.
Speaking of that found family, it's really too bad, that got cut so much in the webtoon. While there is still a tinge of it with Lin Shengling getting all touched that Xiao YuAn's place is kinda his maiden home of sorts and Xiao YuAn and all accepted in that village with really close bonds with especially the Zhan family, which family to begin with is a patchwork family. Yang LiuAn and Xiao FengYue kinda become brothers of sorts to him, and old lady cohabitating with them is a sort of motherly aunt there. There's just no ill will in that village (which is its whole point with being kinda called a little paradise on earth.) And also it's just got these beautifully blossoming trees. (Now are those peach blossoms or not??)
Oh and speaking of found family and all closeness and intimicy that there is and which is being perfectly aknowledged as something Xiao YuAn holds dear and misses and seems just so attractive, even as he is perfectly fine with living in the capital with Yan HeQing, which the latter also perfectly respects and encourages. There is also this bit in the extras about Hong Xiu, how it was Xiao YuAn, who tended to her worst fears she never expected anyone to expect and treated her with gentleness, a sort of she hadn't phantomed to ever get. And as the man speaks fondly and caring about her and Yan HeQing get jealously concerned over "do you like her", Xiao YuAn is all he's probably jealous about the girl again, but also that Hong Xiu never was part of of his harem. And then he has this to say to him:
Way to just get things right. (And she definitely ripped a hole into his heart, once she was gone and even keeps visiting her grave years later. Also really too bad that the afterwards about how curruption cut short his support for her family forcing her sister to become a maidservant, too.)
Other than that I just want to scream: Why could I not discover this a mere two darn month earlier?! That the pre-orders for that Singapore Rosmei edition is already closed and me not having entirely any idea at all how to get it anymore sours me, doesn't help at all, that apparantely that edition is gonna get some new unrelease extra chapter (although that is to be in v3, so technically I won't be missing that one............ whenever the other two volumes are going to be released anyway.) Apparantely there's even another chapter exclusive to some Chinese Edition from a publisher called Via Lactea and I have absolutely no idea how that one's supposed to look and how to get it. And to learn this right when I pondering about looking for some Chinese proxy for getting the books in Chinese, too, now obviously I want that edition to learn what that extra chapter is about. Hhhhnnnng. (Apparantely there's also a Spanish edition licensed with the art of the Rosmei edition, but I know no Spanish...)
Other than that, I still riducilously miss out on those footnotes the aggregator sites have just went and killed. Also, I just found out that the one single site that had the extras beyond chapter 210 kinda did some move and the entire title has vanished from that one's new site. With that there's porbably no place to read the fantraslation of it anymore. (At least for that one I had the epiphany of going though all the chapter sites to make a safecopy last week, I don't really want to know how dkfhkdjfhkjdfh I would have been, if I missed out on reading them just like that from one day to the other.)
In any case, this one as rekindled my interest in the Chinese language, too. Linguistically/writing style speaking this novel is also highly up my alleways. It's chock full with idioms (I image them to be complete utter pain to translate), historical references in those idioms, but also it has all that meta stuff about tropes and everything along with modern slang usage. And it's just having the right amount of twinkling parody of tropes, indulging just enough in it for some guilty pleasure but still managing to have an well build up emotional rollercoaster plot of its own that dances with Xiao YuAn's goofy ludicrousness at times in one hand and heavy hitters in the other. And considering, that it has not newly invented any wheel whatsoever - about every single element in there is something that on its own you can find elsewhere as well - but still manages to get me this invested into it is kinda rather impressive.
Speaking of impressive---
Mein Isekai-Leben a.k.a. My Isekai Life v1-v4ch12: Now that on the other hand is an entirely different sort impressive, or more like, I am astounded by it. Which is to say if I had to use one word to descibribe it it's 'listless'. This is an incredibly listless OP MC cheat skills power-fantasy. It's also... incredibly boring. Brainless. Everything you get to see here is something that has been done elsewhere in way, way better already. I only read all those vols because I just happened to have them there and then I just kept going after the first volume because I wanted to know how in the world is this managing to survive at all. It's a manga adaption of a light novel, both are sitll ongoing and runnning. How does this manage to be this reasonably popular to warrant this??? (After v4 I still didn't really know, so I gave up.)
Wolf and Parchment v4-5 (5 sitll in progress): Ok, so volume 4 was kinda okay in the end, not so much a slog anymore, although the the conversation between Even and Col about how Col would definitely go and prioritize Myuri was pretty interesting, putting into question how long he's gonna last to stick to his he's gonna be a priest and not just take Myuri's handand he's still all that's never gonna happen. (Like hell it won't?!) Then volume 5 started and I was kinda blown by surprise over that bit about them being in this weird space of having a bond, about how she keeps calling him brother despite also saying she is romantically in love with him, because there is no other way to qualify this at all and him also realizing the weird place he is with his attachement to her, too and then the whole crest thing is there, and how every single one involved with it immediately understands it's significance. Something for them, only the two of them, something special, but it's not lovers or marriage. Something else. And it's also hard to get, because how in the world are you gonna explain two people with no tangible relation neither blood nor marriage, wanting to share a crest together? are you just gonna pretend something that pleases general plausibility, while it kinda contradicts its actual purpose? Owoooh, how cool is that. I suppose I really had no trust in this series (or media in general) that this wasn't going down your bog standard romance route.
The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p15-56 (that's somewhere into chapter 2): I am making some progress in reading that one off, but admittedly even I am surprised how slow going it is sonsidering how hyped I was about it before its release and then put it off for health reasons because I totally expected I'd just binge with in a marathon with no regard to sleep and food. If I had to put a finger onto it, it's kinda, the first chapter wasn't exactly uninteresting, but also really not very getting be invested either. The second chapter just entirely starts of with discomfort with having this Chinese classmate sobbing about how he is terrible in school and his father is livid about it and just the general vibes of Chinese mentality. Like. Ouch. And it also immediately stiffled my interest in Chinese again that How to Survive as a Villain has sparked up again. Distancing from that language is kinda like distancing from that general mentality for me and looks like I still can't really separate them enough to just enjoy the language without having the culture behind it poison me.
Unnamed Memory After the End: Still very much at the start, but it docks onto where the first series stops before the grand time skip. It also just picks up on a few things that were left unaddressed in its second half. And here is me wondering, if Myralis and Valt will show up again or not. How it ended for them - which by world mechanics has to be a bad end and then they don't even get mentioned - still feels narratively very unfair to me, with all the effort spent on describing their motives and backstory.
Flowers in the Secret Place - finished: This is another series I just read though chapters over chapters wondering why even, until it kinda went decent enough somethiing around chapter 70? from 155 chapters. The only reason I looked into it was because the art is kinda decently pretty. The reason I made it across the first chapter was that.... the MC wears bunny hair ties. Yes, stupid reason, but here we go. The male MC is possitively annoying, the second male lead is much more interesting but takes a whole while to pick himself up. The backstory and its resulting triangle constellation actually winds up being decently interesting.
Rebirth Two Lives I Still Love You ch0-2: Same author as How to Survive as a Vilain, different artist, which... doesn't look exactly bad, but not even half as appealing. This one's also not Isekai, but Regression. Also it looks incredibly cheese. Motivations for reading on were a bit low, but maybe it just takes a bit? Knowing me I will check it out anyway...
My Unexpected Marriage Ch1-10.2: This isn't even an Isekai, but it uses the Isekai cheat skill trick of using some pretty modern contemporary things and common sense, put them into an Ancient-y setting to make everything run overly smoothly for the MC. In terms of plot and characters I cannot say I am wowed. Nevertheless, it is set in Ancient China-ish of a setting and even if the female MC's big eyes innocent gentle shoujo face kinda clashes with the rest, there is definitely some effort spend on all the wardrobe and ornaments. It's pretty enough to keep going. The mystery plot that points to court intrigue is okayish enough, too.
Mushoku Tensei v1p1-6: The way the horny is put in really is a bit "...", there it really just goes, does an overly genuinely touchy feely monologue about how someone is great and how the guy is emotionally touched and everything, only to destroy it with the twist that he stole her unwashed panties. It was a whole block of text about how in his previous life he was a shut in a loser, somebody with serious problems, social anxiety and getting out of the house issues included and the girl took him out for a magic exam, insisted it had the out there and he really is unconfortable with it, you can get really into how this little bit is just a major milestone for him, something nobody in his old life has managed or even tried. But then it just had to goe like and then he remembered that he still had those unwashed panties in his room that he had stolen some month ago. Argh.
At least that horny father seems to have at least some punches to get, and the setup of this guy being a completely loser, but actually it's not like he always was, he was even better but never learned modesty and that being his entire downfall out which he has now learned. This character is a pretty well set up antihero, he is all sorts of terrible, but in that one moment where Truck-kun came he pushed that whoever away with no regards to himself. (and it doesn't get flaunted as that one big good deed.) He also helped Sylphie, and that started without any horny ulterior motives either. (I was half wondering there actually if, with all that attraction to her, when he still thought she was a he was opening up some queer route, but looks like not.) He, at the bottom of his heart, does not seem to be a bad guy, and he has some serious baggage, that he is trying to treat himself with this new life and gets the occasional unintentional help. Will be interesting how his own inhibitions and knowledge about all the bad things of himself bring him on the road to serious betterment. But then also. He is already entirely, totally hopelessly horny cringe.
Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru a.k.a. 7th Time Loop ch31: (That's the chapter about Arnold and Rishe talking about the ring, once it was delivered). I wanted to scream at Arnold and Rishe rocks with giving him a piece of her mind like that and also totally underestimates the amount of heart flutter she gets into when she goes and gives the man such a free pass to court her. A very wide load of good faces.
Intoxicated East Wind, Iron Cock, August 15h, Feng Yu Jiu Tian: Stuff from the artist of How to Survive as a Villain's webtoon from some 10 years prior. You know when you like one thing of somebody and then go check out the rest? And then you find out it's dubCon, nonCon, rapey, horny porny whatevers and melp. And by the translator's note from August 15th, apparantely that title is some slang euphemism for buttocks. Because the moon is the roundest on that date, so it's the perfect moon so it's buttocks. I'm like what? The art also look nowhere nearly as good as the artist is able to be pull off in How to Survive as a Villain. I wonder if they are going to have some new work. Couldn't find anything from after its end in 2022.
Don't Call Me Daddy: Nice to have some adult characters there. Like adult and then elderly. And how homophobia has wrecked their life, but it's not even the main theme. Again some discussion about different sorts of wants, but uh, the one that solves that one was that guy getting... a boner from a kiss? Huh. What would ye have done, if he didn't? (Well probably that would have been an entirely different story I guess...)
Domestic na Kanojo v5-8: Collection of notes made upon/right after reading the vols:
v5: Let's continue the exhibition of the worst of cheese afflictions. But I did not see that escalation downwards coming... okay, cheese affliction puts other people into danger, both intentionally and unintentionally... Actually the latter case is even worse as it is a danger of livelihood one... ....... ok, wait, isn't this already sexual harrassment now???
v6: Just go for them both already, those sisters don't even look like they'd mind it that much.
v7: Your cheese affliction is gonna ruin your life.
v8: So, now we have blackmail, coercion, extortion and a kidnapping as well as faking somebody's identity without their knowledge nor permission. Alright….
….. this however
(Title: How to recover, panel 1: My humble self has a bun, panel 4: RESSURECTED, the bun: HAND OVER THE SNACKS)
.............. is just some supreme truth out of complete nowhere.
Are You Okay with a Slightly Older Girlfriend? Ch2.4-16.1: I thought this was called into quesitonability because of the age gap and at the beginning I had some qualms, because she is outright deceiving him, but that gets wrapped up quickly enough and then I thought it was just gonna be cheese with age unsecurities, but I suppose if those massive boobs didnt alrealy make an indication, this thing's just way to much flaunting them and playing the horniness bits in way too much of an extremely.... kinda dumb way. With a tint of seriously thinking about these issues. (Also mentions of kink and no shaming allowed there, that sister knows how to enforce authority.) And that makes it both hard to outright drop, but also a pain to suffer though...
Brundhild v1-2: Volume 1, 'Dragon Slayer" is a revenge story out of titular Brunhild's love for the gentle and wise dragon, who is killed, gone haywire. She does all her misdeeds wholly aware for what they are and how innocents are getting in the crossfires and how it'll land her in hell - where she can never be together with the dragon again who went to paradise and had very much warned her to not go for revenge when he fully knew he was gonna get slain. She… is kinda, well, yandere isn't the right word, but she definitely is very much badly obsessed by things and worst she knows it herself, that the one she loves doesn't want it and still doesn't stop. I can't say I was wowed, but maybe that's partly because I read it in French and for the second half I was in deadline before expiry pressure and forced it though without looking up a bunch of words I wasn't too sure of. It feels pretty conclusive, so volume 2 'Dragon Princess' at first was incredibly confusing, with it having a Brunhild as a MC again and also some other guy having the same name as v1 Brunhild's brother. And suddenly the dragon is an evil one. Was wondering, if it was some sort of reincarnation next life plot, but then the personality of the characters are very different. Eventually it turns out to be a prequel. V1's Brunhild and her brother were names after the characters of v2 who lived centuries before them and in her family those famous names were often bestowed to children again. V2 I think is pretty good, interesting characters, has some more side characters, very good world building, again a love story but it's entirely different, also very much different ending and lore and it twists your expectations for the world coming from v1 and then actually winds up explaining v1's worldbuilding, which in v1 I thought that outside of the dragon island on its own was, uh, kinda, yeah, it's sorts of just there?
V2 also has a side character who suffers from not feeling love of any kind and having little empathy. Yet he is not entirely unfeeling either and he can be very much devoted looking much the part almost as if there was love. It looks a lot like it's the usual story about yeah and then this magnificent awe inspiring good natured lady is gonna make him find those traits again. It ultimately does not play out this trope the way you'd expect and I thought that it had the galls to do that was downright courageous.
#rambling#reading log#light novel#manga#webtoon#statistics#how to survive as a villain#to be or not to be#my isekai life#the case files of jeweler richard#wolf and parchment#unnamed memory#flowes of the secret place#my unexpected marriage#mushoku tensei#7th time loop#dont call me daddy#domestic girlfriend#are you okay with a slightly older girlfriend#rebirth two lives#brunhild#this villain emperors gotta charm the male lead to survive
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idk what’s been happening lately but i miss the era of bucky barnes stories where he’s the actual character. not a biker, step dad, fuck boy, etc. don’t get me wrong!!! i love your stories but i feel like all of the BB fandom on this app has disconnected from his character :(
//
^^^^^No I agree with this anon so much. They're all great and were all written by very talented writers on here. But these past few months,I've been trying to find Winter Soldier Bucky fics,basically canon Bucky,where reader had an encounter with Bucky as Winter Soldier in the past and now she meets him again as Bucky. It can be dark or non dark,reader can be an avenger,agent or just normal civilian,just anything because I'm so desperate for a fic like that and Google and Tumblr search didn't work for me. And so far,I only found 2 fics like that (which I'm so grateful for both fics being series with multiple chapters. Made the search worth it. I would hug the writers if I could). And that too,not on Tumblr but on AO3,in the James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader tag that had 705 pages which I then also had to filter out with 'Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes' tag and the pages came down to 25. I stopped at page 13 and that's how I found those 2 specific fics that I'm looking for. I haven't scrolled through all the pages yet so maybe there's more of what I'm looking for. And maybe not all writers are using the 'Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes' tag even if they're writing canon Bucky so that means there's more. But yeah,I was confused as Winter Soldier & Bucky recovering from being the Winter Soldier is is Bucky's main lore and yet I filtered it out,705 pages dropped to 25.
Like,I'm not complaining at all. And I'm so sorry if it came off like that. I'm not even a writer so I don't want to complain. I know how hard writers work while juggling work and personal life at the same time. I actually read every new Bucky fics posted here no matter how they're written. And I'm happy that many people still remember and love Bucky in 2024,so much that they would still write fics about him. Without the Bucky fics posted here daily by bunch of great & talented writers,my daily life would be dull & boring. But the anon ask above reminds me of the time recently when I simply trying to find Winter Soldier Bucky fics and found just a few of them and I was just thinking to myself "Damn....... Where did all the Winter Soldier/Avengers Bucky fics gone to?". Anyway,I sincerely apologize for my yapping.
I understand what you mean, anon. I have said whatever I had to say in the previous ask and unfortunately, I have nothing else or new to add
I will say though, if you can't find the fics you're looking for that might be a sign that maybe you should start writing! That's how I started out, I never thought I'd be a fanfic writer one day but here I am.
Also if anyone has any recs for the kind of fic that anon is looking for, please leave them in the comments below
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that's a relief! the fact that you remember your anons makes me feel very warm and fuzzy 😭 happy that you think of me when you listen to chase atlantic 🫶 speaking of kaiser... that man was a literal menace during the previous bllk chapters omg i fucking hate him (holy shit i think i fell for him deeper 😞 my taste in personified red flags is extremely questionable) nonetheless, i'm looking forward to your next works!
really glad you've been faring well and your ao3 move is doing good. i get your point and i agree w/ it. tumblr's system is shit. some authors get like 700+ likes from posting a twt p0rn link?? i have nothing against them, if that's what some people prefer then so be it. but seeing the small authors who pump out actual high-quality content and not getting enough appreciation for it is saddening. in the first place i downloaded tumblr solely for the purpose of reading fanfics and poetry-related stuff. now all i see are twt p0rn links flooding my feed and that never ever fails to tick me off (come on man i just want to read some fics with good plots 😞). the main reason i haven't deleted this app yet is because of some authors i follow (including you), who actually work their asses off for their readers. that's something i highly appreciate. i'll admit—ao3 is better when it comes to giving smaller authors justice. at least you won't have pussyass anons coming after you in the most passive-aggressive way possible for no reason :D
i wish you the best of luck! ❤️
– 🌷
Apologies for responding to this late; I really like uncomfortable by chase atlantic and heaven and back is giving me some ideas... gonna start working on that when i'm done with this wip - Honey. I love like Aiku, he is literally the biggest red flag you can find in bllk (smh Idek why I fell for him - literally saw him and said yes.) I love him sm After reading his panels and guessing everything right about him, we're soulamtes my soulmate is actually Sae though... but we don't walk about that I'm waiting for the next chapter to drop so that i can see the loml 😭 Rant ahead so feel free to skip - Exactly the point. Like here's the thing about the author community on tumblr. I've usually stuck to my own blog cause of it - when you get buddy with some authors; it comes with its own set of problems cause when they get dragged into some kind of a discourse, everyone they've spoken to get dragged into it as well, even readers come up with some really crazy theories regarding content, similarities etc etc. It's one of the reasons that i'm not a very author to author interactive blog with just dropping in here and there. Not to mention that authors tend to stick to their own online circle and getting into one isn't as easy as it looks? They will judge you by the amount you have reblogged which shouldn't be the case tbh. And i don't reblog other author's works since i stopped reading things 2 years ago here and ever since I started writing ff i only checked the tags for seeing if my work turned up or not. Rather than preferring an author and author relationship, i prefer having one with my readers since they are the ones to hype my works up and send me good feedback. I feel really bad for small time authors on this platform cause authors who have dominated one fandom, entirely; are getting into smaller fandoms - and with their huge followings, they tend to take most of the space and fame compared to small time authors who have some really good quality content. Like was taking one or even two fandom/s not enough? But then its always the same story of "what's wrong with being a multi-fandom blog?" or "We're creating free/ quality content so what's the problem?" The discourse and the toxicity here is actually never ending, it's something that I've been noticing for four years now... and it was high time that i moved to ao3 cause here both authors and readers are toxic, cause authors are trying to keep readers down sometimes and readers... some of the them report your work even if it takes hours to create it. Not to mention that it even escalates to getting death threats which is another level of extremism cause of the lack of sensitivity that there's an actual breathing live person on the other side of the screen. Coming to the links that people attach to their posts and decide to post them, half the time I just think about the 15k notes from giving a visual from twitter that's not even their own content to begin with. Like yes, there are people who like erotica on the internet but in fandoms, its more of the literary work compared to a visual unless its drawn. and it makes me think how easy it was to make that and here you have some of us just... slogging it out or working hard on every line since it's more handmade compared to this. and what's weird is that authors seem to not pick up that queue and continue doing it. My opinion might seem harsh but it is what it is.
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hey there. i'm another anonymous author on ao3 who's doing the same thing you are, sort of, in the sense that i posted a fic about the milkman under the anon label to keep it separate from other things. i do that for a lot of fics actually, but i digress. (i swear i use proper capitalization in them, lol.)
i just wanted to pop in here and just tell you how enthralling your writing is. like, seriously. it's kind of ridiculous how much i enjoy your prose—it reminds me of how i feel whenever i crack open the hannibal fandom tag. despite writing a fic in the category, i don't even simp for the milkman, and yet i tore through all of your fics in the collection in a matter of hours.
i dunno. i just felt like you deserved to know that you're doing really, really well, and you've gotten me invested in a series about a character and doppel and reader that generally speaking, i treat more as a facilitator for crazy introspective angst in my own work. your doppel POV and francis POV fics were so good that, despite not checking the series on the first, i legitimately recognized the style blind. then bookmarked the whole thing. i love how literally nobody in the series is 'normal'. i love how you write the insert character as attentive, focused, but human. i love how you write francis' apathy as a person who had no choice but to get used to seeing faces in a stagnant yet revolving door. i love how you write the doppelgänger, and the irrationality of a creature that only knows love as hunger.
you're killing it, is what i'm getting at. i hope you keep chugging along, my friend. this is what the medium is made for.
I am at a loss for words for your words which I wish to put up in a frame and smile at it forever. I don't know what to say other than thank you. Thank you for reading and enjoying it. Thank you for sharing what you thought of it.
I have never written for Hannibal. I know he's a cannibal and that's it. My previous fic experience from hyperfixations is DHMIS and Lies of P. I don't know if that says something about me. I also have a SinoAlice fic and Poppy Playtime fic on anon with separate tumblr accounts haha.
What are we doing here anon. Two weeks ago I knew nothing of That's Not My Neighbor. It has been 12 days and I've written like 20k words (17k if i cut out the verbatim repetition from povs). I honestly thought I'd make Perfect and never look at again. But then. Everyone was so nice and the brainrot increased. Where are we anon. (We are simps I think, for the setting and possibilities and potential if nothing else. )
Also YOUR SPELLING BETRAYS THEE
I know not this anon's preferred title but BEHOLD! The only fic that could match the description, the only anonymous fic I know that uses the characters as a vehicle for introspection and which spells doppelgänger with the screaming a with dots over it!!! Read it if you haven't it's so good and also leaves me speechless. The grief!!! The feels!!! It has a softer doppelganger that I also quite enjoy and so many little sad moments. I beg of whoever stumbles upon my blog to read it!!! Also to mind the tags because HOO BOY they are Tags.
This too, is a shining, wonderful piece of fanfiction. May it prosper through the ravenous attention of simps and nonsimps alike.
#argentior answers#ao3#fanfic#francis mosses#that's not my neighbor#francis mosses x reader#this glass tastes of blood and milk
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Beautiful Anomaly (Part 7): Morpheus x FReader
Gif from tumblr user "the-darklings" post: https://at.tumblr.com/the-darklings/matthew-calling-wanderer-lady-dream-killed-me/psm2s17nu4so
Morpheus x FemReader (present day, its a little hard to explain)
A couple of disclaimers:
1.) This is all based on the Netflix show and I have 0 background on the graphic novel it is based on (so don't expect it to be faithful);
2.) This is a fan work, the only benefit I derive from this is sharing it with the community.
AN: Hello thank you for your patience. This is going to be shorter than the other chapters but don't worry we'll pick up where we left off in Part 8. Btw I have gleaned that some of you may or may not be comfortable with smut or sex scenes (there's none here don't worry and I don't proclaim to be very good at them), and just so you know, Part 8 onwards I'll do my best to save the love scenes for the very end part so it doesn't break the flow of the story but you can leave without having to read it.
For those of you who are new. I highly recommend reading the previous parts first because I don’t know if you will understand everything without first reading those.
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4/ Part 5 / Part 6
Taglist (if you want to be a part of the taglist just comment requesting so) : @winxschester @true-queen-of-mischief @laydreams @memento-mora @daydreamin1220 @kuchokitty @fate-huntress @igotanidea @mikariell95 @seninjakitey
"What do you think will happen once we go to the Threshold?"
"Knowing my sibling, they may probably use any means to turn us against each other."
"But what would be the point?"
"It doesn't matter. They are simply fulfilling their urges. Whatever they do doesn't need to have a point. Only that it has fulfilled my sibling's whims."
You take a breath as the portal to the Threshold opens and taking his hand (only for safety since you haven't went into the Threshold from the Dreaming for as long as you can remember) you two emerge through it. You immediately let go once you've ascertained that you safely made it from the Dreaming into the Threshold.
"Dearest sweet Life. It's been awhile since you've been here. Although why you would choose to be here with Dream is almost beyond my understanding."
"We know what you've been doing my sibling. And I have previously warned you of the possible consequences that should occur."
"Hmm as far as I remember, your threats were only about your affairs, not the affairs of others. So this really shouldn't count."
"Both of you, stop it. It is me who has been the most injured this time Morpheus, let me have my say. And you, Desire will give me answers." You say sternly looking at both of them. You wait for Morpheus to briefly take a step back before turning your attention to Desire. He doesn't leave the area but he does allow you to have the space to lead this confrontation.
"What is your point in your recent machinations against me? Is it because I sent Despair crying at her failure in making me remove my mental barriers? Last I checked we were quite civil during the lifetime I gave the world Melike. Tell me Desire, short of the unreasonable what do you have against me?"
Desire makes a scoff before a sarcastic laugh. And as most of the time you've seen Desire, their smile doesn't reach their eyes.
"We are still civil Life, you may not believe me for I can feel your urge to punch and strangle me right now, but I truly do care for you. As for what you may think are machinations working against you and serving as obstacles as you live your lifetimes, I'm actually doing you a favor."
"Well sorry for being concerned that my life and the world was in danger. You are the only person apart from Despair that could have told Mark Gal Lanes of my abilities as well as the mental bonds I have with all of my children. Do you realize that had I been forced to do what he demands, not only would mine and his life end but also that all life as we currently know it would also end?"
"But it didn't." Desire moves to put themselves closer to you. Not quite personal space invading yet but definitely to force you into being more rigid that you involuntarily cross your arms on front of your chest in your disapproval.
"I knew that your desire to save the world and do your duties was too strong for that to happen. And I also knew you were smart enough that you wouldn't be naïve to simply rescue your child without bringing harm to yourself. As I've guessed you were able to ask help from others, and Mark Gal Lanes didn't really pose a threat to you."
"You're evading my question Desire, what was the point of having him abuse my daughter, and through her suffering not only was I placed in danger since it is no secret that I would help my children but I was also made aware that someone outside the magical community knows of the bonds that I have with my children and the misconception of what my powers can do. Will you please just get to the point? If this is for some sort of revenge over what I have done or if this is for me refusing to simply do what you will beyond reason then just say it already."
Desire laughs, and it makes you uneasy for it is clear that from their non-verbal response that the answer is not one of your guesses.
"The point dearest Life, is that this is all a test for your benefit." You feel yourself raising an eyebrow in confusion.
"And what was it for? That I am still the barometer of balance of the Endless family?"
"Oh you're quite mistaken." They say as they show you a huge smirk.
"It wasn't to test you. It was to test Dream." You feel your eyes widen and his footsteps towards the two of you.
"Have you not considered the threat I gave you last time." Morpheus says, his tone low and almost growling.
"Oh I have considered it, and this is hardly any of your affairs big brother. You volunteered to involve yourself yet you still had the choice not to do so."
"I do not like being played with sibling."
"Morpheus please allow me." You tell him with warning to back off.
"What were you testing him for? And get to the point please." You say in a tone that hopefully left no room for further side comments.
"Life, I know you're a lot smarter than that. But because I do care about you, and while the way that you think gives me immeasurable entertainment, I'll tell you." Desire responds with a grin that makes a part of you uneasy.
"This was to test how Dream here would react and how compatible would he be for you."
"As what?"
"As a romantic partner of course. Isn't that what you've been doing all this time Dream?"
"But why take the initiative to set this up?" You ask before Morpheus could respond.
"I've already said that I do care for you, even though you obviously don't always see it that way. Dream here has not only blamed me for the past failures of his romances, but as you know has a tendency to overreact and even sabotage them completely of his own doing."
"I was doing what I thought was right."
"Which isn't always the case. Just because Nada defied you didn't give you any reason to place her in Hell. Calliope was one of the lucky ones who left you before things got worse between the two of you over what happened to Orpheus." Desire says with unhidden wrath. Even though it wasn't directed to you, you nevertheless felt the sting of his words.
"Don't forget brother that no matter what you do, I know what any being desires, even you and even Life here. And I will be damned if she more than anyone would suffer the consequence of your affections when you yourself are either ignorant of it or simply refuse to see it."
"Do you Desire? Or do you want her for yourself?"
"Oh please Dream, if I wanted her for myself, I would've manipulated her desires a long time ago."
"Since I am your test subject, what was all this to prove?"
"It was to see what you would do, what you would say if something were to happen to Life beyond the ordinary hazards of her duties."
"You were the one who placed me there in the first place!"
"A risk I would rather take than you being heartbroken by this oaf over here who couldn't even directly tell you his own desire for you."
What?
Wait
What?
"Isn't that right Dream? There is no use denying it."
"You've been known to lie."
"All three of us has. And honestly brother, you are the worse among us here in this case. You know of her subconscious thoughts even though you give her the agency to choose what to do with them. You've known for awhile even before you two argued over your silly little contract that caused you two to disconnect. And yet you did nothing to let it be known to her."
You find yourself looking at Morpheus as he glares at Desire.
"Morpheus? Is that true?"
"Oh that's not even the worse part of it. One of the things I despised was that he had the gall to say he does things for the sake of his love for you. Haven't you noticed dear life that most frequently he would only engage in romances only after some arbitrary hidden confirmation that you've somehow stopped loving him and have moved on to one earthly lover to the next? I may know the full extent of your polyamorous heart apart from you, but to him and his fixed ways he would rather be the mournful regretting lover over something that was never his to possess. You can ask him for the details later when the two of you are alone, but that Hob Gabling contract? He did that to understand humanity yes; but most of all it was all made in an effort to woo you with sudden new insights on humanity. And we all know how that turned out."
Maybe it was just because you were still asleep and dreams are hardly the time to have so many information simply dumped on your human brain. But you feel dizzy from what Desire has just revealed to you. You could even sense that right now they aren't even lying.
"Again Desire, what was the point of all of this? Was Despair making a visit to me just this the entire time?"
"The point in everything so far, has been to expose Dream's flaws as a lover. You more than anyone already know of his flaws as a being. But a lot of times you are blind to his flaws as a partner. Recently he has been starting to make attempts to actually woo you and I had to act. I know how both of you are when you two experience heartbreak. The Endless may be unable to recover if you were to experience the ultimate heartbreak from Dream of all beings."
"I would never do that to her."
"You say that now, but your history says otherwise. Life is one of us Dream, she is above a mere mortal that you could condemn to the deepest parts of Hell or a Goddess you could simply leave. She is the reason why we even exist and why mortals think of us. If after this you still decide to pursue her and if she will still have you, I will be closely watching your ways. Because if you two should break each other's hearts, the possible consequences will be felt by all of us more than just a vortex."
"So is this it then? You would rather there is discord in our relationship just as the two of us resent each other? Just so she would become closer to you and -"
"Let me stop you right there Dream." Desire says in a dangerous tone that wouldn't allow room for any argument or interference.
"It is not up to me what happens next. And I'm tired of you blaming everything you do simply on me. I may have played a part - I am the embodiment of desire after all. But what you do with those feelings is on you, brother. Whatever your relationship with Life is, it cannot go on any further. This mutual longing ends after this conversation, Death is not the only one tired of this. And I am putting most of the blame on you."
Morpheus lets out a sarcastic chuckle matching his expression.
"Why?"
"You knew of her feelings. She didn't know about yours. She didn't tell you of her feelings out of insecurity. You didn't tell her that you knew of it or that it was returned out of some sick sense of focusing simply on duties. A pathetic excuse that lead to a torture almost worse than death. Not knowing if what you feel would be returned or would change anything. All this coming from the being who began having feelings for Life the moment he discovered that she had survived the latest mass extinction."
"And what is my fault then?" You quickly ask sensing that Morpheus may do something that he may regret later on.
"Simple, you've survived wars, assassinations, affairs, espionage missions, sabotages, and many kinds of betrayals. And yet despite that courage, you didn't have enough to risk it all and simply tell him your feelings. Had you done so then maybe many things could have been different. I'm not saying you've never loved anyone else. But for some reason Dream is the exception to that."
You forget how you awakened from that conversation. If there was one beneficial thing that came out of it it was that it didn't allow you to forget your dream once you've awakened. You and Morpheus agreed to discuss what you've learnt in the waking world on the weekend when you were free. You both needed sometime to process and discussing it while the revelations made by Desire may only lead to more discord than actual communication.
Thankfully, for that weekend you had your apartment to yourself for whatever might happen. You take a breath before using your powers in your immortal aspect to take his sigil out of what you now call your sub-space after watching many sailor moon episodes and reading a lot of sailor moon manga.
"Morpheus, Dream of the Endless, I stand in my living space as I hold your sigil. If you are free I'm ready to talk of what we've both learned from Desire."
"Wait for me, I'm coming through. Just keep holding my sigil." You hear his voice from the sigil and before you know it you hear his movements from behind you. You turn towards him and on his hand you see a familiar glowing rose (the glow coming from inside the stem and is spread all over after exiting the rose's stamen and pistil) with two branches. One branch had no thorns while the other had plenty of them, both of them at the same height and their leaves positioned diametrically opposed to each other.
"You were going to call me?"
"We did agree to meet on this day, I didn't know who would call who."
You two take a seat once again across each other. Both of you were tense, possibly nervousness of what is to come and how this may force both of you to change your relationship. A part of you wished that it would have remained the way it was before Desire had interfered. But you also knew that Desire was right in saying that it was a test that was needed and that this longing which you've only learned was actually mutual, needed to stop. The consequences for longing too much for two beings such as yourself and Morpheus could be more disasterous if nothing was done about it.
You're the one who begins.
"How long have you known?" He straightens his back and moves himself forward towards you.
"When you first arrived in what would now be called Malaysia, during the early days of humanity."
"Just after you've condemned Nada to Hell?"
"Yes, but back when I came to that knowledge I wasn't in the appropriate mindset to study it further. And when I began to really notice that it never went away, you had already moved on with one or two lovers. Who was I to distrupt your life like that. And so I too moved on."
"But from what I understand there were times when neither of us had lovers or commitments. Why didn't you tell me then?"
"I could ask the same of you. For all this time I had thought your feelings for me was something you thought shameful and wished you didn't have. Whenever you fell in love, you almost always didn't mind sharing your feelings to their recipient. But whenever I felt you speak of your romantic feelings towards me, it was almost always in a hushed conspiratorial way. Almost as if you had a shameful secret that you wish you could be free of. At first I thought it was because I was not mortal, but then neither were some of your lovers. You've fathered children with Goddesses, had three daughters with the Grim reaper, a subordinate of my sister, among others. With all that considered, I had thought that you thought negatively of how you feel for me for you have done nothing acting on those feelings."
You take a deep breath, taking a moment to collect your thoughts before you finally let out your own confession.
"I don't remember when it became something more. Looking back now you were probably right in not doing anything at first."
"Why?"
"Like with many of my romances, it started with infatuation and so I thought nothing of it. I didn't think it was worth telling you since you've probably encountered your fair share of being infatuated upon, I didn't see how this is supposed to be different from all the others. Infatuation could simply fade away once the façade of perfection or unhealthy obsession has been broken."
"So you did nothing hoping that it would fade away?"
"Yes, plenty of times a crush is just a crush nothing more nothing less. I always thought it was similar to what Petrarch or Dante Alighieri had to their muses that they barely knew anything about. The people and beings around me had often thought that it was simply devotion to you or whichever being they thought I was committed to. It's what happened to majority of the people I find myself attracted to. Over time it's simply an acknowledgement of what attracted me to them, then reflecting what I wanted in a relationship. It didn't occur to me that these feelings would only deepen and would simply be somewhere in the background. Not always interfering with how I lived but nevertheless there."
"But what we had was different from Petrarch or Dante. Aside from Death and Lucienne, I always considered the two of us to be close. When you had an issue with me, you have always managed to make me receptive to such criticism without me feeling threatened."
"Which is why I thought it would simply fade away. I am more than aware of some of your flaws, what you seek to do, and the burdens you have. When I realized that it had become deeper than what I had first thought, I still hesitated to tell you because of how focused you were on your duties as the King of Dreams and the prince of stories. I never forgot how you played a big part in saving me before the previous Universe was destroyed."
"That left me more cautious of vortices and how to deal with them. It was my mistake that almost forcibly killed you. And if the Universe couldn't be saved, then the least I could do was to keep your essence in the Dreaming before this Universe had the right balance of allowing you to live and thrive once again."
"Even when I didn't have consciousness back then? When I was back to my prokaryote and simplified eukaryote forms of bacteria?"
"My birth was triggered from your subconscious thoughts... the very first set of subconscious thoughts in existence. The very first of many. Deep down I have always known that even if you would have forms that didn't have consciousness, somehow in some way you would somehow develop a form that regained it." In your periphery you could see that the sun has now reached its peak and it was time to close the windows. Being in a tropical country, one of the biggest environmental threats was getting sunburnt. You were too lazy to put on sunblock and any more heat would make your cotton long sleeves and loose lounge pants more burdensome than lazy relief.
"Anyway, going back to why I didn't do anything about them. I knew better than to further burden you with something that wasn't yours to deal with in the first place. It was my feelings towards you the recipient. Therefore it is only I who should shoulder the burden of having to deal with them. I thought I was doing you a favor since nothing has really changed except perhaps for my perspective. You were closed off because within you, you contain all thoughts and all emotions of all beings. I understood why you did it because I did the same thing with my own memories. And so I did nothing but feel and silently deal with them hoping that doing so wouldn't cause you more pain and burdens than what you were already dealing with."
"Your feelings would not have caused me more pain."
"Can you really say that? It's easy to say that now with the benefit of hindsight. But in the moment I highly doubt you would have felt that."
"And do you have any idea about my own agony? The anxiety of similar sentiments ignored and possibly considered irrelevant?"
"Is that what you've felt? Was what Desire said true that you've started feeling that way towards me ever since the last mass extinction in this earth?" It was his turn to pause. He looks down before meeting your eyes again.
"Yes, it was when I discovered you have managed to survive it despite it almost entirely killing all life on earth that I realized that I wanted you as my partner." Your eyes widen at this revelation.
"Bu-but I didn't have a human form back then." At this he leant closer towards you from across yourself, his form telling you that it was his turn to confess.
"It was your spirit, your mind, your persistence in managing not only to survive but thrive despite almost entirely dying completely...it was my appreciation of those things about you, and even your own paradoxical nature of needing an environment to be well-balanced for you to even exist that made me realize that I want you."
"Is that why Death began inquiring about my consciousness and spirit way back then?"
"Possibly, there were many times when I was tempted to save you again from the mass extinctions that came before. But Death did not allow me to do so. She always told me that I should have more faith in your abilities. Initially I admit I was skeptical because among all the celestial bodies in this galaxy, it was only earth that allowed for the conditions for you to actually live. And with everything needing to be in balance, I saw it as fragile and awaited the days when you would once again regain your consciousness. The moment you did...the moment you were able to dream again, even though you were not always aware of it...it was then that I did everything that I could to ensure that you would thrive. Only to find myself surprised again and again of how you would survive and thrive without my help after every mass extinction. I found myself fearing for you as each one happened. When you emerged from the last one, I could not resist denying my feelings toward you any longer."
"Then why didn't you do anything?"
"My feelings were not reciprocated. In the span of your existence on earth, my discovery that there may be a chance that you may have also felt what I have been feeling towards you was only recent. Like you I have also fallen for others. But unlike you they somehow almost always end in some sort of disaster."
"I've had disasterous relationships too."
"You have the benefit of being released from them because of the human lifespan. I do not have such privilege."
"I thought those were just a consequence of not falling in love with a mortal. Which is why I was surprised to learn that you and Calliope separated and ended your marriage."
"As you can see this also affects my lovers who are immortal." You take this chance to stand up, stretch and head to the kitchen to prepare for lunch. Your stomach begins growling and unlike Morpheus you still needed to eat. You hear him from behind following you.
"Then was Desire right in also saying that there are plenty of things you've been doing to try to woo me or understand me? Such as the infamous Hob Gabling contract?" There was a pause as you begin taking out ingredients from you refrigerator.
"Yes, I will admit now that it was a mistake. You were right in saying that if I wanted to understand humanity...that if I wanted to understand what you see in it, I should first consult you before anyone else."
"That was your attempt to woo me?"
"No, Desire was referring to my recent involvement with you." You feel your heart skip a beat. Suddenly Emira's observations didn't seem so outlandish after all. It turns out you weren't going crazy or reading too much into his actions as simply wanting to restore the friendship you two have lost after your argument over the Hob Gabling contract.
"You were courting my children so that they would put in a good word for you?" You turn to look at his gaze with an eyebrow raised.
"Only initially."
"And you expect me to believe that?"
"Believe what you want to believe, but even you must sense that I do genuinely care for them."
"So let's say I choose not to have you as my partner, can you say that you would still help them if they call on you?" He nods.
"They wouldn't even need to call me just for me to help them." You let out a breath that you didn't know you were holding.
"Well at least that is settled."
"Life." He moves closer to you. Your bodies nearly touching with only enough space that allowed either of you to still move away.
"Please...I apologize for my past mistakes, for not telling you that I have known about your feelings, for all of it. Caring for Emira, Jared, and Ana all came from how I care for you. I still want you to guide me to become better. I still want to be the few whom you can go to and say almost anything without judgment."
"Morpheus." You take a breath and briefly close your eyes. Even now you can't find it in yourself to stay angry at him for long. Desire was right in saying you also played a part to where you both were currently.
"You say almost?"
"I know better than to usurp Death's position as your first confidant." That made you smile just a little bit.
"I'm sorry for not being open about my feelings. But I'm not sorry for what has already happened. What's done is done, and it seems we have forced Desire's ire."
"That is something that I possess long before."
"My point is that perhaps Desire is right in saying that prolonged longing will only result into greater torment. In my defense I didn't know and I wasn't sure if my feelings would have and were ever returned."
"...And now that our feelings are out in the open...how do you want to proceed?"
"Morpheus." You take a bottle of chocolate flavored soymilk from the fridge. It will do for now to sate your hunger. You'll need to wait to continue your lunch cooking after this conversation is finished. You were not going to involve semi-concentration around tools that could possibly slice your fingers. After opening the bottle with the bottle opener, you take a sit at the dining table and gesture for Morpheus to do the same. He once again sits across you.
"I need time to consider what to do. I'm not even sure if I'm even emotionally or mentally available for a romantic relationship right now. And there are plenty of things that needs to be discussed before that even happens." He now bears a fallen expression at your response, but from what his body is telling you, he also understands where you are coming from despite what he wants to happen.
"Please Morpheus, can we go back to what we were before Desire interfered? While I'm reflecting on how to proceed."
"Of course. And let me assure you that no matter what you decide, I will care for you. I know my previous actions suggest otherwise but that is the truth."
And that ended the first part of your conversation. You spend the week contemplating if it was even worth it after all this time.
"All I've ever known was to love from afar that it almost feels like a hidden trap and something is bound to go wrong." You say as you have a video chat with Tala, Lucy, and Nadia on Friday evening. Tala and Nadia had also reported that they should be finished with the counter spell that would remove the coma from Ana's parents by Sunday and hopefully by that evening, the magical community's cover enforcements - similar to the specialists from Vampire Academy - would arrive that evening and would begin to do their work to set up and make paper trails on why her parents were in a coma and whatever story they've decided on to explain Ana's PTSD to the non-magical public.
"Have you already gone through the practical things in your head?" Lucy asks as she begins the first of many steps of her nightly korean skincare routine.
"Yes, many times. And yet a part of me wants to at least try despite it all."
"Then what's stopping you? If despite the practical issues your heart still desires it then go for it."
"Thanks Tala, but it almost seems too good to be true. How will I know that he doesn't one day get tired of me. Or that one day we both feel like it's better to stop and part ways?"
"Then that day simply comes." Nadia responds as she sips her homemade multicolored cocktail from a large transparent mason jar.
"You're insecure about what could or could not happen. You didn't bring this up asking for advice on your possible relationship with Morpheus, but rather of your own insecurities."
"Yeah Dr. Nadia has a point. You've been in several relationships before, but you're scared of what might happen because both of you are essentially immortal and the consequences may spell disaster for not just both of you but for the whole universe." Lucy says before briefly leaving to wash her face from the cold cream makeup remover.
"Which while reasonable also seems to sound like an excuse of even starting a relationship in the first place. Not to force you it's still your life and your decision but it would really suck if after all this initially unrequited longing you would turn down the chance to make it a reality."
"I think what the three of us is saying, you won't know until you actually try. Give him all the preliminaries, set the boundaries for your safety and for the rest of the universe, and other things that need to be discussed, then give it a try. If it fades back into friendship then it'll go back into friendship. If it becomes something more serious then we'll all anticipate your wedding. But you can't know that unless you take the risk." Nadia says as she takes a bigger gulp of her cocktail.
"Besides you've had relationships with deities and other immortal and anthropomorphic figures before. If you're really concerned about him getting tired of you eventually just give him the condition that your relationship slash marriage is only valid for this lifetime. If he wants to continue being your partner then he needs to romance you and marry you again in your next one. That way if either of you has moved on by then, no extra baggage or having to wait around."
"In my off the record semi-professional opinion I recommend you make that as one of your non-negotiables since inherent in your functions is the unpredictability of your environment in each lifetime."
You find yourself smiling and some of the weight lifted from your shoulders.
"Thank you girls."
"Oh and in my very medical opinion." Lucy says as she returns and dabs her face with a small cotton towel.
"From a practicality standpoint you may want to discuss how reproduction could work."
"LUCY!"
"No, actually she has a point."
"Aren't you asexual Nadia?"
"Tala I could still clinically view sexual stuff. As long as I don't have to see or to be involved in it I'm generally okay with it."
"Going back to my medical recommendation. I don't know if him being the King of Dreams would mean if you two could conceive in the dreaming or if he has control of that within his realm. I don't even know if you could conceive only there, here, or whatever. My point is to keep a condom nearby at all times."
"Can't you just recommend me one of your fellow Gynecologists that could give me an IUD?"
"And how are you going to pay for that without your parents knowing? And you can't use your periods as an excuse to them because your periods are now on a regular schedule."
"Damn, good point."
After sleeping on it you decide to call Morpheus the following day. Exactly one week from your last conversation.
"I've decided I want to try." You could see the delight slowly and subtly creep into his face.
"But there are several things that we need to discuss first before you officially begin courting me. You may want to sit down this could take awhile. Would you mind if I ate breakfast while we discuss?"
"Not at all, go on." You serve yourself your first batch of scrambled eggs while you wait for your baguette to be toasted in your mini oven and for your butter to slowly transition from fridge temperature to room temperature and make it easier to place on the baguette. You intentionally called him at this time since you've anticipated that this would be a very long discussion and it may as well take place while you ate breakfast food, your favorite types of food such as waffles, pancakes, scrambled eggs, and the like.
"First no matter what happens I would like for the two of us to still be friends no matter what. I don't know if or how long the romance between us will last but no matter what happens I want to hopefully still call upon you as dear friend."
"You and I have the same wishes then."
"I feel like I need to point this out since sometimes you can get lost in thought or forget things every now and then." You take a moment to pour orange juice from the carafe into your glass.
"Second, if we do have a romantic relationship, however long it lasts it is only valid for this lifetime of mine." He gives you a pointed look.
"Are you serious?"
"I am, I don't know if and when we'll be tired of each other for the rest of existence. And as Desire has pointed out the consequences of a very aggravating breakup between the two of us could have massive consequences for everyone else. This is a safety measure."
"Then what do you want me to do?"
"Morpheus this is simply giving you the option to exit without any baggage, and for it to be as amicable and painless as possible. We can try being partners in this lifetime and if you still want to continue being partners then romance and marry me again in the next. If you don't, then you become a free again to pursuit whomever you want with no strings attached to me." He takes a breath before you see that he concedes.
"If it makes you feel any better, this is the condition I've always told my past immortal lovers before I allowed them to have a relationship with me. It keeps things from getting messy from one lifetime to the next."
"Is that why the Grim Reaper no longer visits you."
"Possibly, it's also possible that our three daughters are still in the after life and they resemble my form back then too much that he can't help but think of them. Which leads me to my next point about my polyamorous nature."
"I am listening."
"I feel like I need to thoroughly discuss this with you since from what I know of your romantic history you've been exclusively monogamous. And yes this includes your affair with Titania, from what I have heard she was the reason you made that deal with Shakespeare."
"It wasn't the only reason."
"My point is that based on what I know of, you're not one for sharing partners with others."
"I've been cheated on by -"
"And that's not what I mean by polyamory. If there's no consent from all parties involved then that's simply cheating." The mini-oven's bell rings signaling that your baguette is now toasted. A well needed pause from correcting his misconceptions on what polyamorous relationships actually are.
"Also before you bring it up, I highly doubt what the romantics practiced was truly polyamory but more of simply sleeping with whomever they wanted. I have a feeling that there was little to no consent from the cheated party of the free love system they had."
"I see."
"I can't change the fact that there may be some people or beings that I will feel attracted to in the waking world. And I also couldn't control whomever you feel attracted to, so I wouldn't. I cannot predict the future but I do want to establish that if anything should become serious and we are still together, then before it goes further we need each other's consent."
"And if I don't give my consent what happens then?"
"Then depending on the situation I either stop pursuing the other party or breakup with you first before pursuing the other party. Same thing if the situation is reversed."
"I see." He pauses.
"Why do we need to discuss this?"
"Aside from the fact that I am polyamorous by nature, it's also somewhat practical. You don't have a consistent presence in the waking world and a legal marriage requires legal personality to engage in. As powerful as you are I'm not sure your powers could suddenly make you possess legal documents suddenly out of nowhere. At least that's what I know of."
"I may think of a few ways." You give him a pointed look before continuing on.
"Speaking of my nature, do you still want me as your guide?"
"Yes, my position hasn't changed on that one."
"Just checking. You seem overwhelmed from all of the things I have demanded on so far."
"It is surprising, yes. But having heard why you needed them...well I may not thoroughly understand them yet but I could catch a glimpse of why you have them as conditions."
Much of the discussion after that was on practical matters that was just a blur on your mind. Things that plenty of times you had to endure but none of the other Endless have to think about since they've typically observed from afar or at the very least from their respective domains.
Then it was his turn to discuss things that he wanted.
"I hope this won't scare you away."
"What is it?"
"I am courting you with the hope that one day you would be my spouse."
"And your consort?"
"Only if you are comfortable with it yes, our domains influence the other's to a higher degree. But that is not what matters to me. I want to marry you, but I will not force you if the idea of marriage is unsuited for your liking."
"Well marriages have changed now from the past centuries. I wouldn't mind being married to you. But the question is can we get there?" He looks at you with tenderness in his face.
"I hope so."
You then agreed to have your first official date next Saturday.
"In dreams or in the waking world?"
"In dreams, for practical reasons." You tell Emira over the phone as you heat up a batch of pre-made garlic bread.
"And you allowed that?"
"I'm giving him his home court advantage of doing his best to woo me. I already told him it should be something intimate but not chokingly so. Just enough to make my introverted self comfortable enough to not care about anything else but him."
"Isn't that what you already do?"
"Not really actually. I barely remember any of my non-intentional dreams."
"Non-intentional?"
"I mean when I didn't deliberately went to the Dreaming to do something else like going into it to confront Desire with Morpheus."
"Oh I see. You two have known each other for awhile so I have a feeling that it's going to be at least decent."
"I'm hoping it doesn't become awkward either."
"If it ever does, there's always the next one to improve on. At least you're both on the same page about wanting to have a long term. That was always the struggle on my first dates and they would always say 'Oh let's just keep it casual and see where this takes us.'"
"Tell me Emira, do you think I was too demanding of him discussing my conditions before actually starting?"
"Not really. I wish I had the benefit of doing that first with my boyfriend but I think you were just establishing your boundaries. You know him better than I, but no considering what you've told me and how dramatic he can sometimes be, you did good mom."
"Thank you dear. Any advice you'd like to give me before I go into the dreaming tonight?"
"I don't know. I've never dated anyone who was my friend first before the first date."
"Weren't you classmates with your current boyfriend first?"
"Yeah but he was just that, a classmate. An acquaintance at most before he asked me out. So maybe um when in doubt just treat it as hanging out with a friend? Since the two of you want to be friends no matter what. Sorry that's the best I could do since all my other advice is about dating in the waking world and not in the dreaming."
"Hahaha don't worry Em, still that's good to keep in mind."
"Oh by the way mom, what do you think of the King Raven plushie for Ana?" She sends through the messenger chat a screenshot of the squishables King Raven plush. Since Ana has officially returned to her still coma recovering parents who are still being taken cared of by the cover enforcement, she's been chatting with everyone of you. Or rather she's talking with everyone she didn't have a mental bond with. And since she can't rely on messenger alone, you all decide to send her a care package containing various items that acts as your "sigils" in case she has no internet and she needs someone to talk to. These things have to also be regular items so it cannot compromise the magical community.
"Is there a smaller version of that? Something cheaper? As cute as it is I don't want you spending too much money."
"Yup, there's a mini version that's about 10 inches."
"That's the smaller one?"
"It's the cheaper one."
"Well okay, if you're sure you want that as a sigil item for your sister."
"I'm sure, is the Plague nurse your sigil item?"
"No, I picked that simply because it's cute. My sigil item is this." You take a moment to picture the jade pendant hanging around your neck.
"A Hello Kitty shaped jade pendant?"
"She loves Hello Kitty and this just so happened to be available when I was online window shopping."
"Is that even real jade?"
"Probably not, I picked it because of the Hello Kitty form and she could wear it always. That way she'll somehow have some form of my protection."
"Okay, good point."
You check the time and it was about 1:47 pm.
"Do you think it's too late to change plans a bit?"
"Please tell me you're not planning on cancelling your date. How can you backout of a dream?"
"No don't worry I'm not planning on backing out. I just feel like things might be a little less awkward if maybe it started with a dinner in the waking world."
"OOH You're planning on taking him out?"
"Not really. Just maybe a dinner here before we move into the bedroom-Not like that."
"Not like what?" You could hear the grin in her voice.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, it's for going into the dreaming not for sex."
"I mean, let's not rule it out."
"Emira."
"Kidding, just kidding. Would you like me to come over and help?"
"That depends are you finished with your case digests?"
"...Okay tell me how it went. Bye mom."
And with that you make your preparations.
Author's Note: I've decided to end it here because it felt right and Part 8 officially begins the start of their courtship.
1.) This is my Hello Kitty pendant that is referenced (the pendant is actually very small so I just tend to hide it under my clothes):
Zoomed out
Zoomed in 1
Zoomed in 2
2.) This is the (mini) Plague Nurse plushie - and yes I only got her because she's cute.
3.) This is Mini King Raven squishable plushie - I don't actually have this one (I'm saving to get the Plague doctor and the grim reaper) but this plushie reminds me so much of Matthew, you'll see why Emira chose this to be her "sigil" (or for the Supergiant Hades fans out there, the "Keepsake"/"Companion") in the next parts.
4.) Just to clarify, all of Life's children with immortal partners are demigods or demigodlike (the point is they can still die) since Life is the mortal half and is what makes them a part of life and death. Currently they are all in their respective afterlives.
5.) I asked my friend whose a fan of the Sandman graphic novels about why Desire and Dream are so hostile and she explained it to me and also gave me some insight into why Desire is the way they are. Since Part 1 already establishes that while Life doesn't entirely trust Desire, she's at the very least civil with them and a little bit more empathetic to them than Dream is. Since Desire is shown in canon to be an antagonist already I've decided to have Desire genuinely care about Life and to have them be the one to force them to confront their mutual longing for each other.
6.) I've also looked into a little bit of Dream's romantic history based from general tumblr posts and how at least according to graphic novel Marvin, Dream has a tendency to want to be the brooding figure and has a way of self-sabotaging relationships. With this in mind, I hope its understandable why Desire did what they had to do. It was one thing for it to happen to mortal women, goddesses and other worldly beings to suffer the consequences of Dream's overreactions, but it's another if Dream will subject Life to the only way he knows how to respond to anything he doesn't like about being in a relationship.
Once again thank you so much for reading :)
#Beautiful Anomaly#Dream of the Endless#The Sandman netflix#The sandman#Morpheus#morpheus x fem!reader#morpheus x reader#morpheus x you#Morpheus x y/n#Dream x reader#dream x fem!reader#dream x y/n#dream x you#Life incarnate#Dream x Life#desire of the endless#Desire
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Tennis AU asks/thoughts based on your asks from Tumblr:
1. All the talk of people hounding Carlos to withdraw from doubles & him withdrawing from singles instead & the shock factor involved with that, well I also don't think he would withdraw from singles.
2. The talk of TK voluntarily withdrawing or being forced to withdraw from doubles to ease up the load on Carlos's shoulder that I think might be something that would happen. I also think he might do that without telling Carlos & then Carlos will have SO MANY FEELINGS about that & then there's going to he a huge argument ending with one of them confessing their love for the other?
3. Re: Them being outed, I think as I mentioned in my comment in ch 6, I think somehow Zane Albright is going to be involved. I think that because of his thinly-veiled comments on TK's addiction (something not many people actually know about). And based on that elevator scene, although it's slightly different from RWRB because *no cameras* I couldn't help but draw that parallel about them being outed and there being a whole shit storm about it.
4. Regarding the US Open Singles final, I also have the feeling that it's going to be a Tarlos match? And then I thought that it would be intense to the level of John Isner vs Nicholas Mahut at Wimbledon 2010?
5. Also is is weird that I wanna see more of Zane Albright in the sense that he plays singles against either TK or Carlos & he looses pretty badly?
6. I'm really excited for the Wimbledon chapter as it happens to be my favorite GS because Roger's success there! And also I remember you or RMD mentioning something about Tarlos & Wimbledon whites! 😏😏🔥🔥🔥
7. And Maureen & JP! Need I say more? The tweets have been hilarious! But I think poor JP is going to he scarred for life after reading Maureen's tweets! 🤣😂
8. Based on your previous statements & all your mentions of places in Melbourne to dine at in the earlier chapters, I assumed you were an Aussie from Melbourne so I set up Melbourne among the cities on the world clock on my phone so I could see what time it is so I could keep up when you posted in the evenings!
9. Reading this fic as the US Open began was pretty exciting! I was looking forward to the US Open a lot this year because it's Serena's last! I'm going to miss her! She's my favorite WTA player!
Sorry if this is a bit too long, I couldn't stop writing this once I started! And I realised this is like the longest ask I've ever sent! I'm loving this fic so much!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾
slowly making it through the tennis au asks!
OKAY BUT THIS ONE - there's a couple of things in here that are bang on the money but I'm not gonna say what they are 👀💀 I just love how in depth you've gone here!!!!
YES I'm from Melbourne so you guys can set your clocks to to the hellish time zone of AEST to find out when I am awake (I sleep like 5 hours a night, so that's basically always).
Thank you for being so invested! Also Serena is the GOAT and you are right to say it.
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Chapter 9, page 36
Start Here
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At this point it feels like we are repeating the same stuff here but - consent is important! So even if you skipped last 3 pages, you still get consent talk.
Want to join the Discord or follow me on Kofi? All the useful links are in the Masterpost! Early access to pages for Kofi supporters every Friday and extra content every Monday.
It feels like the whole point if this chapter was just showing how much people care about Chuuya and Dazai and how much they care for each other.
There are hundreds of Soukoku fics where their relationship is bordering on toxic. I'm here for the soft parts [and angst but love hurts. and is fluffy]
They are meant for each other.
[so this was a long one that didn't fit in tumblr window. sorry for the small font]
Consent is definitely sexy. I cannot imagine anything more enticing than the knowledge that your partner wants you as much as you want them. it must be so intoxicating!
Generally, in Chuuya's life people used him for his power and for what he could do for them. To some point Chuuya accepts it as a part of life [the best example here would be the Mafia. Chuuya is an executive but for Mori he is also a powerful weapon].
Dazai wants to show him that this point of view cannot always be accepted and Chuuya deserves better.
Yasss, some hugging, some loving, all the good stuff.
'Yeah *she says guiltily*.
The Master and Margarita was one of the subjects I wanted to cover in Author's Notes that I will be posting after we finish the comic but since you asked, may as well do it now.
First of all, yes, the subject should have definitely been covered in the main story and it is entirely my fault it wasn't. However, when I got to this part, I realized it should have been covered way sooner than the last chapter.
This is going to be a long rant but a short version would be I probably didn't explain well enough why Fyodor used it and how it relates to his relationship with Chuuya.
Long version is, well, complicated.
From the characters point of view, Fyodor didn't actually need to use The Master and Margarita on Chuuya. He himself is smart and manipulative enough, that he would be able to control an amnesic Chuuya without any enhancements. The reason he even hired Bulgakov and his troupe was because of Hela. Hela was his connection to Dumas and Locke. She gave him the information he needed to get Dumas' blood and cause Locke to erase Chuuya's memories. Later, she betrayed him [still part of the plan] so that Chuuya could land in Agency's hands, where he had a chance at grabbing Atsushi.
The main reason Fyodor actually even used The Master and Margarita was to cause Dazai more distress [you may remember how panicked he was once he found out about Bulgakovs ability.]
Ultimately, while the ability made Chuuya easier to control, it wasn't actually a necessity. It looked important because from Dazai's point of view it could be tragic in consequences, but in reality it didn't play much role.
That's why I said it should have been addressed earlier, preferably in Dazai's flat after Chuuya got his memories back, when Dazai still wasn't entirely sure about his loyalties. As I said before, main reason for using Bulgakov was to get Dumas and Locke involved, and scare Dazai, but a bonus was convincing Chuuya that Fyodor's views on abilities are correct - abilities are a sin, and sinners must be destroyed. Of course, once the ability was nullified, that effect slowly disappeared. However, Chuuya may still hold some of Fyodor's convictions.
The Master and Margarita was never used with intent of getting Chuuya to have sex with Fyodor. That was pure manipulation on Fyodor's part - 'if you're loyal to me, you will do it.' Of course, the ability probably influenced Chuuya's behavior but ultimately sex was coerced through different means.
From mine, as in the author's, point of view - I wanted Chuuya's experience to be more relatable and also using mind control as an explanation for Fyoya would be getting rid of problem way too.
I think I mentioned before, but one of my friends was in sort of a similar abusive relationship and as I got to this part, it felt as if enforcing sex with ability would somehow cheapen the real trauma. If the source of the traume was the mind control, than yeah, sure, that is one terrifying thing to imagine that someone may control you this way. However, it was mostly about physical intimacy and how Chuuya was allowing himself to be used by Fyodor to gain his favor.
At that point if we said 'you were controlled by an ability' would be like saying 'you had no choice, therefore don't feel any guilt about it.' An Chuuya, being the way he is might have thought that either a: he should have known better anyway and wouldn't listen to Dazai, or b: decide that yes, it was all because of an ability, not my fault at all [*happy sexy times with Dazai ensue*]
Not mixing in The Master and Margarita into this conversation/situation actually makes it more tragic and in this case more relatable. Fyodor was using him but Chuuya is struggling with the fact that he allowed it. He could have refused. Nothing was stopping him. Nothing except for his need to be accepted by Fyodor. This seems more like real life to me.
That's why I didn't mention Bulgakov's ability in this situation. I should have put it in sooner. I will know better in the future [hopefully.] I hope this answer satisfies you and clears some things.
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throne and paradise endings, answering questions from inbox, my goodbye :)
it's been a year since i stopped writing throne and paradise, and all copies (save for ao3 which has been orphaned) have been taken down, so i've come alive here just to give you lovelies one last thing:
throne: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801650?view_full_work=true
paradise: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23802184?view_full_work=true
final chapters: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qVmqPV7zzQUNFTCzM9-AeA_hpRVex0CwxDKyFhAD2C0/edit?usp=drivesdk
these are the links to the unfinished ao3 versions of throne and paradise, and the doc is to the final chapters :)) whilst it's obviously not up to my standards and i didn't want to even write the endings because i wanted to leave it all behind, i felt bad since i was two chapters away from the end and didn't leave you guys with any closure from the ending that i'd been building up towards the whole way through. the endings were announced on wattpad (where i offered to give them to anyone who wanted them through dms) but i figured i'd drop it here since a lot of my ao3 fans were tumblr hoes too. i probably should've shown it to you guys earlier but i'm a bit of a coward :)) i literally deleted tumblr and logged out of my account because i was so scared to be back here after what happened LOL well anyways, i hope you enjoy the shitty endings. there's a side stories doc linked in the final chapters one so if you feel like sitting down and reading like 17k of paraathy post-paradise or claudiana, go for it :))
just saying, thanks to everyone who left so many sweet messages in my inbox :)) there were a bunch of questions asking about the deleted/unfinished works, and there were a lot of encouraging comments that honestly, definitely helped for me to gain some kind of confidence to come on here again as toisiit.
i don't mind talking about throne/paradise/whatever if you want to scream about the endings to me and how y'all knew where i was going with it, so feel free to spam me in my dms slash wherever you can find me lol
just a quick little q&a session here since i'm too lazy to respond to each question from my anon inbox individually:
will you ever repost "cripple"?
nope, i've got no intentions to since in the end, i didn't have an actual structure planned out. if you want a brief
Why can't I see any of your ao3 stories from your profile?
again, that's explained up above but i ended up orphaning them to get rid of all traces and links back to me lol i was sick and tired of it. now, i regret it and wish i'd just gone anon instead of ORPHANING THE FUCKING WORKS AND NOT BEING ABLE TO RELEASE AN ACTUAL ENDING but whatever, i kind of tried to make up for it lol
Did claude in intoxicating lose his memories of Diana. Though the characterisation was absolutely brilliant. But i wonder that did he completely stop hating the thing that killed his lover and made his lyf painful(from his pov). Or because he forgot about diana or partially remembered her that he started "loving" athy.
fun fact! i remember when this was sent in and i actually wrote half a mini-essay before i accidentally did that macbook side swipe thing and it took me to my previous page and basically got rid of 2000+ words :D uhmmmm to be honest i don't actually remember what i wrote, but going off the vibes i was probably going for, i think he would have tried to forget about diana (after the ruby palace massacre) and then when he became grossly infatuated with athy, he would have focused on her instead whilst still associating her with diana (without realising it, of course. he just notices how athy's golden hair feels a little familiar, notices how her high cheekbones feel a little similar, the same creamy skin).
he definitely would have forgotten how she killed his lover/made his life painful as he became obsessive over athanasia, and instead wanted to have a claim over her (rather than kill her since she killed diana inadvertently). i'm glad you liked his characterisation as fucking WILD AND GENUINELY PSYCHO TOT that he is lol i was rereading intoxicating to try and gain closure and was like 🧍🏼♂️🧍🏼♂️why is this man so fucking creepy like the way that he talks and acts around athanasia is genuinely gross but in that weird like lolita way... and rereading how athanasia tried to convince herself that he was purely in love with her rather than off doing god knows what genuinely made me pity her before i realised that i was the one who wrote that 🧍🏼♂️🧍🏼♂️
Was intoxicating AU's athy more like diana? Like im just asking because here claude says that he tried to ignore diana's features in athy but couldn't. Which is a foil to what manhwa claude says and how manhwa's LP Athy is portrayed. Btw apart from the claude and felix digression i found the depiction of incest abuse outstanding and very loyal to real cases. Your story was the first that got me studying this crime and its effects and i realised this is the worst form of pedophilia. So kudos.
when i write, i really try to separate what goes on in the manhwa to how i portray the characters as a) i feel like if they're too similar then i can't get away with differences e.g. in paradise, athy being portrayed a total cold-blooded bitch instead of a mature, nice girl meant that when she did cruel things, people didn't find it as weird as she'd been characterised as something else and b) sometimes i find their characters boring so i add spice in other ways LOL it just isn't convenient to write about them in ways that don't fit the storyline i want. i kind of ignore the manhwa now 🧍🏼♂️🧍🏼♂️BUT ANYWAYS, i'd say that she physically resembled diana (pretty sure that was established in the manhwa so i did take that concept and apply it to intoxicating since it did kind of support the reason why claude even got involved with athy in the first place ??) and i suppose they could have been emotionally as well.
i tried to maintain athanasia's childish side to really hone in on the fact that claude was doing those things to a child, let alone his daughter. when she is thirteen, she is naïve enough to believe that if she can convince herself that he loves her as a romantic partner, then she will ignore the scorn that they will face if they're found out. she comes to terms with the fact that he doesn't love her that way and so she withdraws, realising that he shouldn't love her as a partner anyway (which is why when they argue later, it is because claude has realised that he wants her as a romantic partner and wants to make her his empress, whereas athanasia wants a father).
when jennette is introduced, she definitely has a grown in the sense that she knows to withdraw, knows to be quiet about what her father did to her, but she also is jealous when his attention is taken away from her. i didn't really think about diana's characterisation since she only appears in claude's single hallucination, but i'd say she was more demure in that scene which does kind of tie into how athanasia changes to become more lady-like, reserved etc after she withdraws from claude? i didn't really think about it lol sorry 🧍🏼♂️🧍🏼♂️
also the claude felix thing was NOT MEANT TO HAPPEN I GOT CARRIED AWAY OKAY it started off as a joke in my server and then i was like lol sure why not and now... 🧍🏼♂️🧍🏼♂️sorry felix you deserved so much better than what claude did to you TOT but regarding what you said about how it was loyal to real cases, i'm glad that i could at least somewhat portray it in that way (of course not glad that it happens, but i'm glad i could at least try to shed some light on these things) !! it would have been better if i highlighted the relationship more and really pointed out that athanasia's view of it was intentionally rose tinted so that she could try to make it seem 'okay', especially as there were some miscommunications about if i was glorifying and romanticising it or not, but all in all, i'm glad you enjoyed it :))
Did anastasius groom claude in intoxicatong AU. Like how did claude revolt and attempt to murder Ana if he was also groomed and was following the same path. Is groomed Athy of the same mindset as groomed claude. Or is she stronger or weaker. And did claude try to vent these same things onto Diana when he first met her,but later he tried changing his mind???
i think i had plans for anastasius to have groomed/sexually assault claude? i just realised how bad that sounds OH MY GOD i swear i don't go around writing about these things anymore oh my god... okay but i think i definitely was going to go down that path, and have that as the excuse as to why claude revolted against anastasius and killed him. in this case, claude would have killed him as a type of revenge (and if you're really going down the cruel, gruesome, dead dove please don't eat trail, he may have topped him as an attempt to gain back his power), and all of his abuse in his childhood could potentially explain why he followed the same path and went after athanasia. in intoxicating, i don't remember if i ever had plans to 'explain' why claude did what he did (as in what actually pushed him to the edge to even consider doing what he did, even if it was initially a test to see if he could push athanasia away) as i was concerned that it may be seen as an excuse, not an explanation.
however, i did have a mini-series called cripple that was meant to be claude's childhood to the ruby palace massacre, which definitely would have entailed all of the above (anastasius sexually assaulting and grooming claude, the revolt etc). using that as a support for the contents of intoxicating, in this case, it could have definitely been a reason for why he went after athanasia. they would have had similar mindsets as children (both wanting attention and love from an older male figure, being innocent and naïve and thus easy to be taken advantage of, not understanding the weight of the situation), but as they got older, they definitely went different ways.
claude would have been furious, murderous, craving vengeance and to destroy his brother in the cruellest way possible because his pride had been tarnished (i see claude as a very prideful man, so having this kind of thing done to him would have driven him to the edge). he would have loathed anastasius, wanting to torture him and leave him to rot. once he withdrew, he would find himself giving in - he would be forced upon whether he liked it or not. he'd be an example of victims who emerge loathing their abusers, vengeful, and full of hatred and distrust towards the world. athanasia, on the other hand, withdrew in an attempt to protect herself but would find herself giving in regardless. i think she would be an example of victims who go back to their abusers anyways, as they find it as a better thing than being on their own. i don't really like to say that athanasia is weaker as it has negative connotations, but you could definitely take it that her resolve was weaker.
again, i didn't think too much about diana's characterisation in intoxicating, but claude could very well have attempted to mimic these behaviours onto her. however, i don't really see it as that. if i briefly imagine the situation, i think that claude would have tried to better himself in a way after killing anastasius and attempting to salvage his pride and regain his sense of control. he knows that what was done to him was bad, was horrible, was something that no other person should go through, and as such, i like to think that claude wouldn't have done any of those things to diana because he wanted to be a better man for himself, and for her as he loved her. however, after her death, he probably would have been pushed to the edge and found himself in a downward spiral, which would explain why when he met athanasia, he would have lost all moral control and would think that it was okay to do something like that to her.
thank you so much to everyone who has supported me since april 2020 when i first started writing throne and paradise, and for everyone who continued to encourage me to keep on writing even when i wanted to stop and give up. i know it sounds a little bad, but you guys really helped me to keep going (in life too), and i really appreciate all of your kind words !! i hope you enjoy the ending as shoddy as it is <3333333
love,
toisiit
#toisiit#toi#wmmap#ao3#who made me a princess#uhh wow this was just off my recommendations#lmfao this was much longer than it was supposed to be#anyways love y'all#<3
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So since I became a rivamika anti ( que my bio ) I apperently lost my right to speak on rivamika 🙄 but this b!tch @ackermanshoe dared me to post a verryy unbiased and veery angry analysis on
Why "call your name" is about rivamika - from Levi's pov.
Since I failed music in high school I don't know shit about music or anything so it'll be purly based on lyrics ok? Ok
• "Call your name" OST on attack on titan, lyrics I'll be pointing out •
Okay so the first paragraph goes
"she lost her brother a month ago (...) and it reminds me when she brings me coffee..."
So apperently if your a delusional rivamika anti like me you'd go under rivamika posts and comments " oMG leVi iS liKe MikAsA's olDeR bRotHer 🥰" but I have to be honest and say that this is pure bullshit 🙄 or whateveRr. Anyway if you're smart like Ackermanshoe and other rivamika shippers ( 🤢 ) then you probably consider Eren as mikasa's brother because of the way she looks after him, and them essentially being a family after mikasa's actual parents died. So in my unbiased theory I'd have to agree that this song is from Levi's point of view, after the war has ended.
( Oh and thank you @thegloomybrat for telling me about this song it's painful :D I love it ! )
Of course from Levi's point of view Eren would be mikasa's brother or something alike because of their dynamic, like I said before Levi is the reality that Mikasa strays away from and he brings her back.
"and it reminds me"
Here Levi digs deep into the past, recalling all his memories not only Mikasa killing Eren but also the war in general. "When she brings me coffee" OKAY IMMA BE HONEST HERE, even if I am a rivamika anti I have to say this is a freaking dead giveaway like (????!!!) Coffee is basically tea but for people who has no will to live and the one person who drinks tea more than anyone else in the series??? Yeah that's fucking right, it's Levi. Since unlike the entire fandom, I'm a SMART anti I can see this fact with my eyes closed. Hence in the first few lines Levi refers to Mikasa loosing Eren ( a month ago ), then he remembers the past when Mikasa brings coffee ( tea ) to him.
" I wish I could be with her till my last day" ( I'm crying 😭 )
Okay so in this Levi's point of view is clear as fuck, he loves Mikasa and wants to spend the rest of his life by her side. Note: this is the past Levi saying he wished he could stay with her until the end.
"she said she gave all her love to me, we dreamt a new life, some place to be at peace" Levi is probably implying that Mikasa cares about him now. Idk how, after reading this verse ANYONE could even think this is about anyone else but Levi and Mikasa. After all Levi's teashop dream and mikasa's desire to have a family all lead to a peaceful quiet life doesn't it? Mikasa returning to a ordinary girl is also her having a peaceful life. " She said She gave all her love to me' idk about y'all but this gives me hints of some promises, it's such a rivamika thing to do in my opinion.
"I lost my dreams in this disaster"
They BOTH dreams of the same peaceful life, but they both had to let go of what they WANT in order to survive, the disaster that got in the middle is the rumbling.
Now for the chorus
"I'm crying missing my lover.."
Okay so idk if I talked about this enough before so I'll quickly touch on the fact that Levi "doesn't know " why Mikasa is SO attached to Eren is because he is jealous. 😒😒 Yeah okay y'all may have won this but even in my anti rivamika Goggles I can see his surpassed jealousy. THINK about it ? Levi is always on the frame when Mikasa is concerned for Eren and he always somehow breaks their convos it's a low-key thing Levi does but the tension is there. It's like when a newborn child is born and the mother gives all her time to the child because it's her child and the father often gets jealous because of it. No matter how you think about it Levi never had someone care for him in such way, even if it ain't romantic, it's jealosuy in some way or another. From his dead mother to uncle Kenny who left him, to countless deaths of his friends and comrades he had to bare it alone and carry it on his shoulder for so long. He is the definition of being lonely at the top, because of his strength. But not with Mikasa, the care she shows for Eren is unlike any other characters care in the series, in my unbiased opinion ( for the 50th time) Levi wants to be treated the same way. And he knows that Eren doesn't appreciate mikasa nearly enough. And no one better then Levi knowns what it's like to miss love from your life.
And so I have to say that he is missing her although he has been living with Mikasa ( and others ) for so long. Let's not forget that Levi is the most emotional character in the anime so obviously if from his POV he said he was crying missing his lover - being loved by Mikasa and added "I don't have the power on my side forever" he knows his weakness and it makes complete sense lmao. Alluding to "humanity's strongest" everyone thinks you're always strong but the fact Levi is actually emotional which is why he doesn't have the "power on his side forever".
"Oh where is my lover" again I have been saying this man is the most patient thing when it comes to mikasa and this is what I mean.
"I'm standing alone (....) Calling out you're name" so this is me referring to my previous post where I mentioned the unnatural amount of time Levi called mikasa's name through out the whole manga. It's sad but Levi has always been alone hasn't he? Even when he had Erwin and hanji and his old squad he was always a lone man due to his powers, I could see the barrier that his power puts between him and everyone else ( apart from Mikasa ofc). But it's strange because y'all remember Mike ? He was thought to be only 2nd best to Levi and yet he was still not nearly there. Interesting.
This could be a example of what I mean I say he is a lone man. After all his future wife and soulmate is literally busy babying another man right Infront of him ( no wonder he looks pissed of all the time lmao 💀 ).
Finally "calling out your name"
"MIKASA? MIKASA!! MIKASA.."
That was 90% of Levi's lines in the recent chapters lmao. I interpret this as Levi knowing this is the conclusion to Eren and mikasa's story and he knows he is the one who can get Mikasa back to reality. He finally called out her name, it's not even a freaking joke, he was literally calling her name and saying her name to himself ughh. Anyway like I said it's like he has accepted a part of him that he kept hidden for a while and now something new has awakened.
IN CONCLUSION, rivamika shippers kinda won this battle 🙄💔 and but tbh as an anti I have to admit that everybody is so wrong if they think this song is about anyone else but Levi and Mikasa 🤡🤡. It's clearly from perspective of Levi from the future who is remembering the past and his feelings for mikasa during it.
(( This is basically all the lyrics and I can't be bothered with the two different lines in the 2nd verse lmao y'all get the idea that rivamika canon yes? Okay.
Can we normalise using #rivamikacanon everytime we talk about them because 🥵
Thank you all for reading my bullshit analysis once freaking again I love y'all so much it's never r a bad at in rivamika Tumblr 😚😚 I hope this made sense lmao ))
#rivamika#levimika#levi x mikasa#rivamika analysis#리바미카#rivamikacanon#its 3 am and i want to pass away ahah 🥴
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Hi Zu 💜 Hope this day treats you well!
First off, I'd like to say that you are helping a lot already, and I'm very very grateful for that. I mean, I literally would have never started this whole thing without your support. Thanks to you, I am here: posting things on tumblr, writing in English, sometimes even communicating with people (well, beside you (x). It really means a lot. Plus, while I don't like my writing, at least I know and almost always remember that there are people who do like what I create. It's a very nice feeling I didn't have for a while. I mostly had only my significant one before. When depression and low self-esteem get the best of me, it's unfortunately not enough. Now it's... a little better. So thank you.
And can we please continue talking about music? Because there are quite a few things I have to say.
I know The Killing Kind is associated with DestructiveDeath, and I'm glad it is, because that lyric comic is amazing. But honesly? In my mind this song is much more about X-tra Dark Cream than about DestructiveDeath. Partly because I don't really like the ending of the DestructiveDeath comic... No, that's not right. I do like it a lot, it's just... doesn't resonate with me. Doesn't click. But as for X-tra Dark Cream, oh goodness, of dear, it is too good to be true. The dynamic between this timeline's Dream and Cross matches this song so well. The lyrics are spot on. I didn't believe myself when I realised this. Hope you'll see it too when I write and post actual chapters!
That's also very true regarding The Death of Me and Fluffynightkiller. This song is obviously about some previous relationships that one cannot let go (and so isn't ready for anything new), and that's not Nightmare's case at all, right? Yet every single line fits perfectly. Only the meaning changes beyond recognition. And I love it! It always brings me so much joy to see a song in a completely new light through a character's experience. One of the best things ever. So this way even "I would tell you I don't miss her cries of love reduced to a whisper" (quote from The Death of Me) fits like a glove! Isn't it fascinating?
And last but not least, there is this little thought I've been thinking for a while. Don't remember when it was, but somebody once mentioned Vocaloids and Miku (I do remember you said your favourite song is Two Faced Lovers though (x), and it reminded me of that one song... And then this thought appeared. But before diving into that, do you have any more songs that you like? Maybe featured by other Vocaloids? Maybe not only Japanese ones?
I've been in love with Kagerou Project and Evillious Chronicles for years. I'm sure you know at least Kagerou Days from the former and Daughter of Evil/Servant of Evil/Regret Message from the latter. And the latter is what I'd very much like to talk about.
You might know the song Gift from the Princess Who Brought Sleep. And suddenly I thought...
What if this were how Nightmare destroyed Dreamtale?
This crossover makes too much sense for me to be comfortable with it (x But I'm eager to share it with you anyway!
Not sure if I'd ever write it though. It doesn't seem as huge as X-tra Dark Cream or Coraline crossover, but... I don't know. For now I just feel like talking about this idea, so here I am. I have lots of details for this, big and small, but for now I'll stop here. Leave you hanging a bit, even if you wouldn't mind spoilers for a thing that I'm not even certain I'd write.
Thanks for listening! And, well, for everything.
Take care! *hugs*
Hi anfie╰(*´︶`*)╯Yep, thanks a lot! How are you today? ♡
Thank you for your ask! I'm really happy to hear that you're doing, even if a little, better lately, that's the spirit (òwó) For me, loving your work is not so much a one-time burst of delight but rather a devoted following in anticipation of a new miracle. So please, keep up the great work! ☆
And sure we can! That ending of @thegrinningkitten's DestructiveDeath comic was quite a surprise for many, I guess, yet still! I'm listening to this right now while trying to catch the connection, to no avail (perhaps it's all the same comic's imprint), that's why I'm so intrigued by X-tra Dark Cream parallel of yours *^* I'll be waiting for your chapters!
That's so right about The Death of Me for fluffynightkiller! (I finally listened to this and god, it is fascinating ☆) I didn't even expect such a hit, despite the fact that we always rely more on a character's experience (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
Oh you do remember! (〃ω〃) That's so attentive and courteous of you, thanks a lot <3 This dynamic song with desperate overtones is meaningful to me (not because of a similar experience, God forbid! (x). But yeah, I do love the other ones and much more since Vocaloids and Kagerou project are my childhood ♡
Such a pleasure to know that our musical preferences are the same! Kagerou Days and Story of Evil (a trilogy) are brilliant ♪ So many different memories are hidden in the same songs... I believe you know Seven Deadly Sins series and these ones as well:
I haven't listened to Gift from the Princess Who Brought Sleep before, but now— for real, what if he made all of them "happy", "like Dream couldn't"?.. Thank you for sharing this with me! ☆ It's okay to store good ideas, even quite big ones x) the main thing is not to forget heh!
Thank you, and take care╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
P. S.
Oh thank you very much, anfie! (〃ω〃) No gifts, please XD But that's so nice and kind of you, you don't have to though I'm always looking for something new by you ♡ Lots of love and inspiration to you too! ☆
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