#actually I am kind of going insane w how big-brain this reference is

[airborneice]

CRIES

WHAT THE HECK WIFE THEY'RE SO CUTEE 🥺🥺🥺 your agenda is correct this is the perfect dynamic for them 😭 like omg their signature colours even line up with the ones in the reference I'm going insane-

do you guys see this. do you see how much Wife is spoiling me with amazing things I have no idea what I did to deserve LOOK AT THEMMMMM this is everything to me 🥺

@hilda-appreciation-week Day 7 - Favourite AU(s)

@airborneice ‘s “Mattieverse”

As if I would pass up the opportunity to draw the kiddos 😌 drawing ref (& rambling) under the cut

Right, so I found this reference on pinterest and not only was it cute, it also played into my "Kaisa calls Mattie 'starlight'" agenda, so I decided to give it a try! Considering Mattieverse canon it would probably make more sense to have Mattie bringing Arwen along? But I just felt like the placements worked soo well with Harvey as the sun & Arwen as the moon (see, I can do sun/moon dynamics platonically, apparently), so here it is! I really love these characters and drawing them was so fun. The definetly deserve the appreciation, and I'd highly reccomend checking out the tagged blog to get to know them if you don't!

[beetsandskzreads]

silent bright summer night

bang chan x gn!reader, y/n works with skz and became their friend (the ultimate dream haha)

genre: tooth-rotening fluff, slight angst with a happy ending

notes/warnings: nothing intense, this is very fluffy, there's brief mentions of cheating, long distance, y/n's exes, fear of abandonment, slight insecurities, deep talks, reader and chan are slightly wine drunk, y/n and chan are whipped, y/n makes it explicit they want to date someone very warm and caring (aka chan), i don't think that's a warning tho djsjs just saying

scenario: on a balcony, at a beach apartment on a summer night of vacation, y/n opens up to chan about their past and current lovers. what y/n doesn't know is why chan is so interested listening to it.

It was 1:01 am when chan and I found ourselves in the balcony that overlooked the city and it's bright lights on a summer night. Skz had gone to sleep right after all of us came back from a night out of lots of fun, buying stuff on stores by the beach, having ice cream, seeing the view of the city lights reflecting on the sea water, appreciating street artists...

The two of us had been talking the whole evening, we hung out as a group but mostly just spoke to each other and laughed at the members jokes, both of us having a sparkle in our eye every time we saw the group happy. There was this unspoken pleasantness, a bliss, calmness in the air but with a lot of excitement. Chan was so happy to be around the sea with "the kids" as he refers to them and being at the beach almost 24/7 this week, it was like his natural habitat, his home, a comfort place. It left you feeling even softer for him, and as you shared your love for the sea, your feelings were at a peak. You liked Chan, and you loved this place as much as he did.

The night was so great, everyone was out like a lightweight as soon as we arrived to the vacation apartment we're in. Chan and I were testing the theory that a glass of wine would help us get drowsy and help us fall asleep as well, since we both have trouble falling asleep and felt nothing but a remaining excitement from the night out. It came to me especially because of the enthusiasm of talking to him, we were connecting so well, I didn't want this to ever end.

And so we drank (one glass quickly becoming the whole bottle) and we talked for what felt like hours on end, that neither of us wanted to cease.

- My ex best friend, she never quite knew how to choose guys, she always went for the ones that would never turn her way, the ones who obviously wouldn't care about her, not because of her, but because they were really careless guys, walking red flags. - I told him, I couldn't remember where exactly the conversation started but we were talking about nice people picking shitty people to date.

- What about you? - he asked

- Me? I barely even like guys, I mean I do, but I'm really picky actually, I don't allow myself to fall for cold people, I wouldn't forgive myself if I took interest in someone rude, I try so hard to take care of myself so I either stay alone that way or I find someone who makes me feel better, who knows how to take care of me, after all we chase happiness, I think a caring person could do that, someone gentle who isn't scared of emotions or who at least is open to face that fear with me by their side.

- I get it, it's hard to get by if you don't have emotional support, a partner should be able to provide that support, yeah. Did you ever... find someone like that?

- Yeah, in the past I did and even now I do know someone more than ideal... I guess my ex partners when I was young were going through a soft phase tho... I guess everyone has an emotional limit they were scared to cross... once I found that barrier the relationship stoped evolving, reached a dead end and so there was nothing left for me anymore and I left, plus, you know, cheating, long distance, a bunch of stuff really... it wasn't meant to be and I'm okay with that.

- What about that someone right now?

Silence ruled for about 3 seconds before I knew what to say. That someone right now is him. Ever since I've known him feels like he's the only man ever, but I don't think I'd tell him that, not soon anyways.

- What about 'em?

- What's that person like? What makes you trust they're any different from your exes?

- Sometimes I fear they're not, but I set the bar really high and I reset it constantly, to make sure I'm seeing it right, sometimes they seem so perfect to me that I wonder what good have i done in my past life to deserve to be around such a bright person. Of course they make mistakes too, but even the way they deal with them is so... mature, it's so easy to just solve things communicating, it's insane to me. Then I remember it's probably because they're eventually gonna leave me too, or just not reciprocate my feelings and after they break my heart I'll probably loose all hope in love, be heart broken for two years until I decide I'm gonna focus on myself again... it's a cycle after heartbreak, but with this person I'm really scared, because they mean more. I'm way too deep in before I've even expressed my feelings, it's gonna be devastating. - I'm rambling, the wine made me do it.

- What makes you think they wouldn't like you back tho?

- I'm not sure I just... it would be too good to be true and it's complicated... he's amazing and I'm just not sure if he'd be into me, I mean, I think I'm lovable and I think I'd be a great lover, I just don't know if I'm his type or if he'd consider me. We have a bit of an age gap, I'm not someone who's typically pretty or specially good looking, I have my charms but I have no idea if that's enough for him to be in love. It's complicated with each others work too... - I notice chan's gaze on me, he has his head leaned on his hand on the table and he's looking at me with bright eyes, eyes that look tired and a little drunk but somehow, he manages to look at me in a way that makes me feel adored, I don't know why you have to make me feel so much love, Bang Chan - Why are you looking at me like that?

- You have no idea how other people perceive you, do you? - he ignored your question, probably because of his drunk-ish drowsy state - Everyone I know likes you, see, you're a naturally kind and caring person, you're attentive to people's needs, you make sure everyone feels comfortable around you... that's so appreciated by everyone. I think you're exceptional y/n, you have this charismatic way of existing, a refreshing and comfy presence everyone can feel, but to me... it feels like home. You feel like home y/n. So... I have no idea who that person is but I sure as hell know they'd be more than lucky to have you as a partner and they're definitely dumb if they let you go.

- Are you dumb? - my heart's pounding quicker as I'm about to do something I didn't plan on doing ever.

- Huh? No, why w-

- Because that person is you... I like you, Chan. In a more-than-friends way - I interrupt him quickly before I lose my newly found courage.

Chan could've sworn his heart stopped for a few seconds. Suddenly sobriety hit him like a truck. It was the alcohol that made you say that, he thought, but he wished it was true and you didn't drink enough to be lying about this kind of stuff, you had a full on conversation and you seemed pretty sober.

- Y-y/n are you sober? - he tries to navigate through the situation.

- Oh my... yeah I am, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, it just rolled out of my tongue. I'm sorry... - you said as you panicked and tried to go back inside, regret filling up all your organs.

"I messed up" your brain keeps repeating as desperation starts entering your body, until Chan grabbed your hand, stopping you from leaving.

- Wait! You don't need to apologize, I'm glad you told me... You didn't think I'd say all that about you if I didn't like you as well, did you? - he asks suggestively.

- I don't know - you blush as you realize what he's getting at - You're just so nice to everyone, I didn't make a big deal out of it.

- Well, you should've made it a big deal, the biggest deal actually because I've been trying really hard to show you how I feel these past few days and you were so clueless I thought you were purposefully ignoring the signs because you didn't like me back.

- I'm sorry Channie, I just didn't want to assume stuff and get heartbroken if it wasn't true.

-Well it is true, so you don't need to worry anymore. I really like you too, y/n. And I've wanted to say it for a while too, I was just wondering if it was a good idea since you work with us, but I can't contain my feelings anyways... you always treat me so softly and you look after the kids really well... It just feels like you were made to be by my side, you're the embodiment of the person I've always dreamed to be with, and these past few days with the kids and you... it just felt like we were the perfect family you know? I don't think I could be without you by my side anymore... - he stops, he's been staring at your eyes the whole time and now they're starting to water.

How could you not cry when he's saying the things you thought you'd only ever hear in dreams?

- Why are you crying sweetheart? - he whispered, as he wipes a tear with his thumb, the other hand holding your hand as he stands closer every second.

- It's just... I'm so... happy - you smile through your tears - I'm so happy to hear that, you said it in such a beautiful way too... I feel exactly the same, it's like I've gained a family with you guys but you... I've grown really attached to you, feels like some parts of you are tangled in my heart in ways I couldn't tear apart if I wanted to... I'm drawn to you and when I'm with you it's comfortable, blissful, it's right. You're so good to me, it's unbelievable, but it's true, and it warms my heart. - you say as your foreheads touch and your smile grows, his eyes showing so much adoration for you, you could melt.

Suddenly you share your first kiss together, a soft yet passionate mix of sensations, and it felt like everything you ever felt around Chan but better.

You stare into each other's eyes, smiling like the little lovely goofballs you both were, noses touching, ocasional little pecks filled with giggles because you were whipped for each other.

- So this means we're exclusive lovers now, yeah? - he asks with a blushing face, a very silent giggle and a huge, uncontrollable smile.

- Definitely, yeah - you answer biting your lip until eventually you let out the largest smile you ever had.

Needless to say, you didn't leave that balcony to go to sleep that evening. In fact, you two watched the sunrise kissing and cuddling, talking about the feelings you had for each other, when they started, why you liked each other, covered by a blanket, not wanting to let go of each other now that you were openly romantic.

Han found you both sound asleep, you on chan's lap, head on his neck as his arms wrapped around you gently, on a chair in the middle of the morning. He obviously called all the members to watch you two as they assumed you two finally got together. All of them saw it coming, Chan wouldn't shut up about you and had written what could be an entire album about you.

They were happy at least you'd be around more often to cook your delicious food. And you both blushed really hard once you woke up to lot's of teasing from the kids, it was fine tho, you liked it just like this, it was home.

[frogtanii]

It’s wind anon! (Imagine me as the screeching seagull meme) just pushing through the week. Getting the test out of my mind—it just sucks because there’s always this one test that I completely mess up on—and as someone who has to deal with all honors classes and my grades tend to be good, every time I fail to meet up to expectations my stress skyrockets. (Imagine a world where grades don’t matter and school is learning based rather than mark based...) Family pressures too—okay, wind anon is done ranting.

The update! The drama—I was there the moment it updated and I saw the comments rush in and I was laughing real hard.

But my reaction to the update!

Osamu POV :0!!! The insecurity... “all it did was remind him that he was alone”— I empathize because gosh, that is so real.

The attachment to Meiko though... his emotional state is on a very unstable tightrope. “Osamu had Meiko and he used to have Daichi and Iwaizumi...” that entire section has all my red flags raised. He’s going to completely break when everything comes out.

The loud clang startled me though. I was like “!!!” But it was our YN! Our kind, wonderful YN!! Trying to get snacks wwwwww.

Osamu thinking YN is cute :0 I be having a lot of thoughts about that but him squishing it down is fair. He considers himself to be in a committed relationship (though Meiko does not reciprocate and I am ready to fight regarding that) but I can respect his devotion (even if it is very misguided).

But. “After all, you were the reason Atsumu hated him now and never spoke to him anymore.” My gosh. What do I even say about this? Because the blame is entirely thrown off. I mean, you mentioned before Atsumu had a specific reason for believing in you over Meiko so I’m still waiting for that but Osamu is thinking something wrong but it’s a human action. It’s so easy to blame people to make yourself feel better. And your brain can do it without you realizing the depths of what has been thought.

Osamu being angry (!!!) and being a complete utter douche. YN literally just wanted a bag of chips and you’re here, crowding them in the pantry and being hostile. I don’t have much to say about it because he realized his mistake but by then he already stressed YN really badly and I am...(long sigh).

Atsumu to the rescue. We appreciate Atsumu very very much in this house. It really sucks that Osamu and Atsumu are confronting like this—I mean, Atsumu has been fighting a bit and Osamu had not really been listening to Atsumu on his own end prior to this confrontation so I’m...exhausted and a bit sad in the “It can’t be helped” kind of way.

“Osamu allowed him to, too in shock and ashamed to protest, much less fight back.” It couldn’t be helped considering how everything developed but...it still hurts my chest a bit, y’know? And then Osamu tries to apologize and I’m ready (so so ready) for them to communicate because they desperately need to—

But then Meiko comes in (I am...ready to throw stuff at her. Lots of stuff. Packing peanuts. All squeaky and annoying and bad for the environment just like she is—or something like that, I dunno, I’m half dead because I’m dealing with cramps rn) and all my wishes for them to finally have that much needed conversation where Osamu can finally break down and cry—all my wishes are turned to ash like.

(Angry Wind anon noises)

Meiko rubbing her makeup all over Osamu’s shirt like he is a rag. What in the... And her 4 inch heels please, I cannot, why, I can’t deal with this, I can’t, don’t make me get close to her because I’m like Yachi (stressed out of my mind). Please don’t do this to me. But yeah, Meiko with her poor makeup that doesn’t stay on her face. What the heck....

And Meiko’s scent... gross. Like, brown sugar, cute, nice, baked goods do smell really nice, (ever add a bunch of vanilla extract to a recipe? It like, perfumes around everywhere, it’s insane and wonderful) but chances are (because it’s Meiko), it’s overbearingly sweet. Chinese food (I do not trust her taste in Chinese food to be frank), I happen to come from a Chinese family, I have Chinese food for dinner like everyday, it would take a lot to be able to get that sort of scent on you. And I do mean a lot. And hairspray??? Chemical? I do not,,, I,,, Osamu, why would you breathe that in? It’s gonna be real bad for your lungs? And we already know Meiko smokes as well—your lung health, please value it—

And then the Suna entrance. Wonderfully done fr0ggy!

Final thoughts, I am very much projecting onto Yachi rn. Yachi has been in the house for less than a week and she already has to deal with this. The company should give her a raise. My gosh.

Anyway, might as well do a thoughts/headcanon thing because it’s been a while and my mind is still on gem/jewel stuff (so hope you don’t mind!)

Okay, so Kenma I think would go with a warm colored gemstone, and citrine would work well with him! “Protection against evil thoughts” because we know Meiko has ramped up is insecurity and lowered his self-esteem.

I mentioned this before last time but Sakusa is definitely onyx. That black is iconic, and “sharpening wit” would make sense with his grace for word play and snark.

Akaashi is an interesting one...I think sapphire. I mean, sapphire can have many colors besides the classic dark blue, so that’s one thing, but it’s known for “loyalty and a pledge of trust” which Akaashi gave. I think it’s suitable for him.

Suga...initially I was thinking pearl would match him in terms of appearance, but actually looking at my reference, turquoise would work really really well with him. “Protect from evil, maintain virtue, bring good luck”. Would work well.

For Atsumu and Osamu I wanted something that could represent their duality. My first thought was gold and silver. I mean, it’d fit in terms of appearance but I’m not sure that would be the best comparison. Gold doesn’t rust so it fits Atsumu who never fell for Meiko’s tricks. Silver has been said to vanquish dark/evil beings (vampires, werewolves, the classic silver bullets and stakes). It would be interesting to see if the comparison will apply to today’s update :D!

I like how my brain shut off and couldn’t remember anyone else for a second—anyway, Oikawa... every time I think of him, I want some hue of blue wwww. I guess Aquamarine “soothing influence” would work. Since he joined YN’s side, he has been able to see the big picture and be a voice of reason. He’s thoughtful and I think aquamarine which encourages long relationships is suitable because that is what he wanted. So yes, aquamarine.

Bokuto...is a tough one. I’m trying to still keep with their color schemes a bit. I think carnelian would work. “Health, luck, bold energy, warmth, joy”—it would represent him fine. It’s a bit more orange than I would prefer but it suits him so I think it’s okay.

Iwaizumi... emerald? I mean, he does suit green tones, and “rebirth, regeneration, new hope” would work just fine for him.

Right now my brain is complete mush and I can’t think of anything for Kuroo and Daichi. Like, Kuroo would be red, sure, but the more famous ruby/garnet I think don’t represent him fully because he is still rather contained. Hmm, would need to think about them more.

But I’d like your thoughts on this too :D!!

I wanna do something suitable for all colors for YN, so opal! YN has many different parts and colors and is overall a very vivid person—if you tilt opal, you see more and more faces and things underneath being brought into your eyes. YN may be seen from many different perspectives, but YN is always beautiful and amazing. So opal is what I think YN would be.

Anyway, I’ll end here :D! Need to eat lunch. Much love towards you fr0ggy! Make sure you eat and rest up too~ drink some water or any other fluid to hydrate! And keep warm too. Much love to all the fans and supporters and ask senders too! It’s really awesome seeing and hearing from all of you and seeing new faces with the old. Love the excitement and points you all bring up—makes my brain happy.

MAJDKD I NEED TO POST THE NEW CHAPTER BUT I HAD TO RESPOND TO THIS FIRST BESTIE ILY N I LOVE TUIS — I AM OBSESSED W THE CRYSTAL (??) STUFF??? IVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT BUT I THINK YOIVE EXPLAINED EACH GEM N WHY SO BEAUTIFULLY I AM IN LOVE W U KITH KITH UR SO LOVELY HAVE AN AMAZING DAY (sending u good vibes n anti-stress love >333)

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

em

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

what if i told you i’ve been rereading this every day and that it still gives me butterflies……. 😔😔😔 you are too sweet to me i’m abt to combust

mickey!!!!! my beloved!!!!!!!!! this is a late reply but i have sm i wanna say and thank you for…….. my dearest little sashisu soldier <33333 i can’t tell you how glad i am that you enjoyed their dynamics 🥺 your approval means sm to me!!! i hope you know that!!!! and as always i just wanna thank you sm for reading and taking the time to write out so many thoughtful comments </3 i don’t ever wanna stop saying it bc !! you deserve to hear it !!!!

ok i'm one line in and i just already need to say that you're so right about suguru belonging in the kitchen it's the mother instinct in him yk i can just see him there soooooo clearly wahhhhh AND I CAN HEAR HIM HUM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HE WOULD ALWAYS HUM WOULDN'T HEEE very long dreamy sigh i love him so much

instant mickey realness IT’S THE MOTHER INSTINCT IN HIM SO TRUE ‼️‼️ and the humming…. VERY glad that you see the vision takahiro sakurai did too good of a job voicing him i can’t stop thinking abt his smooth silky voice… 😞😞 sighhh. he would sing you to sleep if you asked nicely. 😞😞😞😞 SIGHHHH

WAITTT SUGU WITH GLASSES???????????? SUGURU??? WITH GLASSES????????????????? ARI???????????? SUGURU GETO WITH GLASSES???????????? YOU PUT GLASSES ON HIM??????????????? MICKEY FOUND DEAD IN A DITCH PART TWO THIS IS A DIFFERENT DITCH BTW THIS ONE IS ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE OTHER ONE

AND THIS ‼️‼️‼️ YOU GET ITTTTTT recently he’s been rotting in my brain … like actually……. glasses and piercings are my go-to when it comes to a no curses au sugu :33 esp a uni au…… he deserves to be the best looking man on campus and for that he needs both. no but fr sugu w glasses takes me OUT he makes me feel like a werewolf under the full moon 😔😔 insanity

GRUMPY LITTLE SHOKO😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭FUCKKK THAT'S SO FUCKING CUTE SHE'S A LITTLE ANGRY LOOKING KITTEN OK

SO TRUEEE THIS IS HER <33333

she’s just soooo grouchy in the morning :(( can’t stand loud noise or . any kind of noise. gets clingy too but doesn’t like it when any of you cling to her….. sugu might be the master of the kitchen but shoko is the queen of it what she says goes!! sugu has 100% made satoru eat his breakfast alone in the living room after he made a bunch of noise and pissed her off 😔😔 tragic (but it’s ok bc he dragged you with him <33)

i think a forehead kiss from him would fix me i would never complain about anything ever again. please suguru.... just one smooch....

need to point out every single Real thing you say (i’m copy-pasting 90% of your rb) BUT NO ACTUALLY THOUGH isn’t he such a forehead kisser…. have we talked abt that before 🤔 we might have…. but it’s true he’s a forehead kisser and he’s a hand kisser :33 only man Ever!!

okay what the fuck my heart just stopped....... sugu calling you "love" 🥴🥴🥴🥴no i am not okay by the way LOVE IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING TO CALL YOUR BELOVED BC THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE REALNESS 😵‍💫😵‍💫 ”my love” is my ultimate petname from sugu i think …. he kind of explodes every time he says it bc he thinks it’s soooo romantic and devoted and he’s Right <3

WORLD'S OKAYEST BOYFRIEND??????? ASJHASHAGSSJAGSDJASDGJAGSDSA PLEASE I'VE NEVER NEEDED SOMETHING AS BADLY AS I NEED THIS FUCKING MUG YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE GENIUS ARI

HEHEHE I KNEWWWWW YOU’D UNDERSTAND MICKEY………. i need it so bad too 😔😔 LOOK AT ITTTT IT’S SO PERFECT

toru fucking LOVES it btw i hope i made that clear in the fic!!! you and sugushoko gave it as a gag gift bc you were expecting him to get all huffy and pouty but. it just made him so happy…. that you referred to him as your boyfriend……. 😔😔 he’s so happy to be Yours he barely even notices the okayest bc he’s staring at the boyfriend. maybe he has selective sight idk. he drinks out of it with pride (as he should!!)

ari i think your brain is getting too big i just might need to kiss you stupid a little YOU UNDERSTAND THEM ALL SO WELL IT KINDA MAKES ME MADDD LIKE WDYMMMMM HOW ARE YOU LIKE THIS HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD i just know you spent ATLEAST one of your lives with them

MICKEYYY I CRIED 😭😭😭😭😭 i am kissing you sillier we’ll both be stupid by the time i’m done….. YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THIS AND MOVE ONNNN arisashisu……. the forbidden selfship…………. no but i’m actually so happy that you think i wrote them well 😔👉👈 they mean the world to me and i know they do to you too. so i gotta do them justice!!

obviously i love all of them but satoshoko dynamic is just... something special..... they mean so much too me satoru sneaking into her room to make sure she'll sleep???????? i'm gonna cry again i think their dynamic is just soo good too wahh i wish we could see more of them overall:(( but yk thank fuck we all have you!!!!! idk what the fuck we'd do without you smhhh. die probably.

NONO SPEAK YOUR TRUTHHH satoshoko will always have a soft spot in my heart…. (sugushoko is probably my fave though 😵‍💫) THEY’RE JUST :((( i think they understand each other so well!! without words!!! they are so so fond of each other. and they don’t need to say it bc it’s just There….. I’M STILL HOPEFUL FOR MORE SATOSHOKO CONTENT BTW we can only hope 🙏🙏 idk how much of the leaks you’ve seen mickey (or if you’ve read the manga) but chapter 220….. T_T is so special to me.

SHOKO. I. SHOKO- I. I CAN'T THINK. WHY'D YOU HAVE TO MENTION HER THIGHS WHAT THE FUCK ARI WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CONTINUE ON LIKE THIS??????????????? AND THEN OH????? SHE KISSES YOUR CHEEK???????????????????? BROOOOOOOOOOOO????????????

>:3 SHOKO THIGH REVEAL HOW R WE HOLDING UP……… i cried a little writing it. they’re soft and cold 2 the touch + extremely important to me that she has some stretch marks bc i think they’re gorgeous. imagine her in her oversized bf shirt just walking around … stretching ….. and the shirt rides up a bit 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 hold me mickey i’m abt to explode into a million shoko shaped pieces

see and there you go again with the little details that make me go even more insane bro i can hear the institution calling my name they're gonna take me away if you continue on like this WDYMM HE'S PULLING YOUR CHAIR CLOSER TO HIM AND CURLING HIS LEG AROUND YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

NOT THE INSTITUTION 😭😭😭😭😭 STAY SAFE DON’T LET THEM TAKE YOU FROM ME physical touch bf toru is Real and true and alive <333 gets sooooo clingy in the morning he’s your overgrown housecat. i also think the chair move is?????? insanely good???????? it speaks 2 me. he’s so strong. it’s so easy for him to move you closer. (he’s also 100% the type to just reach over and PULL you into his lap while you’re literally having dinner w a bunch of your friends ??? he has NO shame and everyone else is just like ”here we go again”….)

...the.... silver.... in... his....... lip piercing....................... they're having a moment buT I'M HAVING AN EVEN BIGGER MOMENT WAWAWEEWA SUGURU WITH A LIP PIERCING OH HOW I LOVE YOU SOOOO ARIII KISS KISS KISS C'MERE YOU DESERVE SO MANY KISSES FOR THIS

LIP PIERCING SUGU IS REALLLLL YOU GET IT i was worried people would miss it bc i only mention it like twice here 😭😭 BUT IT’S SOOOO IMPORTANT IT COMPLETES THE LOOK him and his glasses and turtleneck and piercing…. i fear i’d have to kiss him silly <///3

WHAT DID I JUST SAYYYYYYYYY I WILL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT YOU EVER. NEVER EVER. I JUST CAN'T. I DON'T HAVE IT IN ME I SIMPLY CANNOT. "THE SUN LETS HER GOLDEN HAIR FLOW"???????????????????????????????? THE SUN CONNECTS THEM ALL EVEN WHEN THEY'RE NOT TOGETHER FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I PROMISE I'LL BE A GOOD HUSBAND OKAY I'LL BE SO GOOD TO YOU YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO WORK EVER AGAIN YOU CAN JUST READ BOOKS AND WRITE AND SUNBATHE AND EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD BECAUSE YOU JUST DESERVE IT YOU DESERVE IT AND YOU WILL GET IT

MICKEYYYYYY HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE YOU 🥺🥺🥺🥺 my sweet sweet little honeybee i’m soooooooo genuinely overjoyed that you liked that bit it literally came to me in a vision i wrote it out and just stared bc???? who wrote this??????? 🤨🤨 ALSOOOOO EXTREMELY RELEVANT that paragraph in particular is HEAVILY inspired by disco elysium…. the writing style and the personification………. shivers my beloved <3 she’s everything 2 me

also mickey….. we were supposed to have a spring/summer wedding weren’t we 👀👀 almost time… would u prefer wearing a dress or a suit i’m gonna get the finest seamtress just for u!!!!!!!!!

diabolical. every post you make just changes me. i am not the person i was before reading this. i've been altered. for good. i'm gonna be on my death bed and i'm gonna be fucking quoting your art. trust. granpa mickey grandma mickey what the hell are you saying?? be quiet child this is a love story and you will fucking listen actually this is a story about love those are two different things and this author will teach you tell you all about it

also had to mention this bc 😭😭😭 ”be quiet child this is a love story and you will fucking listen” YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LOUF I LAUGHED OK pls be gentle w ur grandchildren 😭😭 I’M HONOURED THOUGHH pls make sure to feed them lots of mickey drabbles too bc honest to god i don’t know anyone who writes intimacy as effortlessly as you. it makes me insane i know i’ve said it before but i don’t think it’s normal for so many of your drabbles to linger in my brain i am constantly thinking of roomie gojo and office gojo and sleepy sugu and

i love you so bad. my heart feels so warm. i am making tiny sentences. because i feel like i'm floating rn. and it's kind of hard to make sense of what i'm typing. thank you. for writing. and thank you. for being. idk what the world did to deserve you but i'm so glad you're here. here's a good old sloppy loud mwah! i hope your day has been good to you i hope you slept well i hope uni isn't bullying you too hard. eat well, drink well!! i love u<333333333333333333

MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!!!!! i hope the kisses find their way to you <333 over the big wide sea <3333 MICKEY ik i’ve been repeating myself!!! as. is customary for ari posts BUT I NEED YOU TO KNOW that ily + i appreciate you + you inspire my writing every single day!!! and motivate me obv but that should go without saying …. i’m just very happy to be friends w you <33333 knowing that my writing can warm your heart even a teeny tiny bit makes me feel so happy…. i am kissing you and gnawing at your arm affectionately. sashisu loves you <3

(this was the only sashisu meme i could find in my jjk folder 😞😞 disgraceful but i hope u will accept it)

dear spring, stay forever ; satoru gojo, suguru geto, shoko ieiri

synopsis; just another mellow breakfast shared between you and your partners. (you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of it.)

word count; 3.8k

contents; sashisu/reader (poly relationship!!), gn!reader, all of u are whipped, lots of petnames, literally just breakfast fluff, it ended up kinda sugucentric on accident (not my fault btw he just really loves making breakfast for u that’s on him), also ended up kinda sappy at the end (that’s on me), implied no curses au, they’re in their twenties but it isn’t specified, everyone is eepy and in love <33

a/n; a little breakfast fic bc i love mornings and i love them :33 (tagging my beloved sashisu soldiers @catchuuu @staryukis i am making breakfast for both of u btw ☕️🥞) pls listen to spring thief by yorushika it’s the most sashisu song ever

as always, suguru is the first of you to make it into the kitchen.

he’s humming. it’s soft, a low lull of his voice, beckoning you closer like the call of a siren. sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms, fiddling with a pan, sizzling and simmering and breathing in the scent of pancakes; it pairs well with the espresso steam from the coffee pot to his right, the vase of hydrangeas by the windowsill.

it’s a sunny morning. the perfect setting for the start of your day, an atmosphere you can savour, like the gradual sipping of your soon-to-be morning cup of coffee. somewhere outside your vision comes a morning symphony, chirps and songs by cicadas and robins. splotches of sunlight splatter against the windows, the kitchen table, the floorboards — illuminating the man in front of the stove.

something in your chest constricts, when you look at him. a tenderness uprooted, a fondness watered and trimmed, a hungry plant only satiated at the sight of this; the back of his head, raven locks cascading down his broad shoulders in obsidian waves, hair put up into a lazy half-down bun. a little messy, a little too breathtaking for words. wearing a black turtleneck that hugs his waist just right.

you should be used to it, by now. suguru has always been an early bird, always the first to rouse from his slumber, only ever contended by shoko and her occasional bouts of sleep-deprivation. he’s always waiting for the three of you, just like this — in front of a sizzling pan, adjusting his glasses by the kitchen table, cooking or reading or simply reminiscing. content to stir in the peace and quiet of the morning hours, before the world wakes up. 

and he’s always taken to preparing breakfast for the four of you, always ready to greet you with a smile and a cup of freshly made cappuccino. he enjoys taking care of you, all three of you. always has.

(it wasn’t any different back when you were kids. suguru was always the first one in the dormitory’s kitchen, messing with the rusty french press or making a grossly bitter smoothie for himself. he was snarkier, more roundabout — but no less thoughtful. grumpy little shoko would always get the last bitter pumps of espresso, and sleepy little satoru would get a french toast if he asked nicely enough. and you? 

you got to see them, be with them. that alone would’ve been enough. the steaming cup of cappuccino left on the kitchen counter — a little too tailored to your taste to be a mere coincidence — was always nothing more than an added bonus.)

the soft humming falters, for no more than a beat or two. suguru shifts his weight from one foot to the other, and suddenly you can’t resist the temptation.

with clumsy steps, heavy feet weighed down by a sleepy sense of numbness, you stumble towards your target. it’s a familiar waltz, five steps to reach him, a warmth that spreads throughout your body in tandem with the curl of your arms around his waist. slumped against him, cheek squished against his upper back, you hold your breath.

silently, you wait. one, two, until you hear the familiar roll of his breath; a delighted little sigh that slips from his parted lips.

when suguru cranes his head to get a glimpse of you, his amber eyes are leaking adoration. a sense of liveliness, a joyous spark — like a firefly, the flicker of a rusty lighter. he looks well-rested, dark circles long faded, only the dimmest remnant of them still visible beneath his eyes. 

he holds your gaze, steady and kind, and then he’s leaning forward; eager to press his lips against your waiting forehead. glasses slipping ever so slightly down the bridge of his nose. the kiss is chaste, familiar. warm, warm, a faint heat that simmers in your chest, a tiny firework of a feeling. even the metal of his piercing feels warm on your skin. 

you melt into his spine, fingers searching for a pair of hands that find yours first — his thumb rubbing tender circles over your forearm. practiced, memorized, that familiar waltz of motions. he lingers against your skin, breathing in satoru’s favorite strawberry shampoo. you’ve been stealing it for weeks now. 

suguru’s lips curl up into something amused, still not quite willing to part from you. 

but then he does. turning towards the stove, reaching for the coffee pot with one hand, the other securing your own and lacing your fingers together. he gives them an affectionate squeeze, still resting on his lower stomach. a silent greeting that he always ends up voicing anyway.

”g’morning, love,” he croons, a little raspy, but sweet and nice. honeyed and deep, sending pleasant shivers down your spine. you hear him pour something into a cup. ”how did you sleep?”

all you can give him is a tired grunt, stretching your limbs out, blinking sluggishly to shoo away the drowsiness. suguru knows what to expect; he simply smiles, endeared, pouring steamed milk into your favorite cup. with a clink of his spoon against the ceramic, he adds the foam, stirring it carefully.

then he’s shifting his weight, angling his face towards yours, and pressing the rim of the cup against your lips — not before blowing on it gently. he watches as your eyelids flutter, waiting for the hum of contentment he’ll hear once you have your first sip. and he gets it. the rich aroma stirs you into a more awakened state, and a single taste of the creamy foam has you standing up a little straighter, humming in sleepy delight. suguru smiles, crow’s feet hidden behind his glasses. 

you accept the cup with a grateful squeeze of his palm, and he makes sure it’s steady in your hold before he faces forward again. another sip, and your throat feels a little less dry, your mind a lot less sluggish. so you answer his previous question. 

”… slept well,” another tiny sip. it’s hot, warming you up from the inside. ”i would’ve preferred waking up to you, though...”

a low chuckle bubbles up in your boyfriend’s throat. it makes you want to pout, but you smile instead. traitorous lips. 

he’s looking at you again, unable to help himself, reaching over to brush some loose strands of hair away from your face. ”aw, ’m sorry,” he coos, teasingly, sickeningly sweet. ”but then you wouldn’t have woken up to a fresh cup of coffee, hm?” 

now you really are pouting. he shifts, until you're standing chest to chest, and kisses it away. twice, for good measure. he must be in a good mood.

he usually is, at this time of year. when the air starts smelling of honeydew and snowdrops, and he’s awoken by barking dogs, luscious sunbeams splattered on soft bedsheets, the pitter patter of sudden spring rain. when the apricot trees outside your apartment complex begin to bloom; a flurry of sickly-white kisses pressed against your windows, sticking to the locks of your hair. it gives him an excuse to run his fingers through it. even when shoko whines for him to cut it out, and satoru purposefully shakes the branches to make the tiny white petals even harder to find. he must like having his hair ruffled like a misbehaving dog. 

they make suguru sigh and sigh, exasperated, but there’s always a smile waiting somewhere out of view. he’s not very good at hiding it.

(he likes the apricot trees. likes watching them change shape, colour, likes waiting for them to wither and blossom and turn into fruit.

once they’re ripe enough to pick, i’ll make marmalade for us.)

the morning waltz continues. while suguru continues to flip his pancakes, you sleepily decide to set the table. fondness erupts behind his eyelids at the gesture, small as it is. you stand on your tiptoes to reach the highest shelf, just to grab satoru’s favorite mug; one you all got him for his 19th birthday, a heartfelt message of world’s okayest boyfriend etched into the front. it was meant to make him pout and whine, but you’ve never seen him drink out of anything else at home.

you place the cup on the table with a soft thunk, along with plates and cutlery. suguru has already brought down a cup for shoko, seated on the kitchen counter next to him, soon to be filled with the same rich espresso he always drinks. he’s waiting until she joins you both, so it doesn’t end up going lukewarm. there’s nothing shoko hates more. you can practically hear that grumpy scoff, see her cute little frown.

your sleep schedules differ from day to day. suguru is always up early, satoru always sleeps in. shoko fluctuates between the two. you usually end up rousing from your slumber whenever the bed starts to feel a little too empty — a fact you doubt they’ll ever quit teasing you about.

that differs from day to day, too. sometimes you sleep with suguru, sometimes the other two, sometimes all three. you have your separate rooms, but always end up with your limbs intertwined one way or another; even if one of you comes home late or falls asleep on the couch watching tv. satoru can’t sleep without hugging someone, and suguru can’t fall asleep unless he knows you’re all sleeping well. shoko isn’t picky, but you know she feels safest when she’s linking elbows with you, or touching pinkies with suguru, or snoozing on top of satoru’s chest like a weighted blanket. as for you… 

you’ve gotten way too used to their touch to ever go without it. last night, you ended up in suguru’s room, tucked underneath his chin, while satoru snuck into shoko’s bed to convince her not to pull another all-nighter. you’re assuming it worked.

”mm, smells good. you makin’ pancakes?”

a bubbly, groggy voice spills into the air, just as a light breeze flits in through the window. soothing, refreshing. you turn your gaze towards its source.

and there they are. sleepy satoru, and grumpy shoko, the former clinging to the latter like an overgrown koala. satoru seems to be in high spirits, calling out to you with a smile, blue eyes glimmering like a sunny sky; but you can tell he’s tired by the way he’s stretching out his limbs, only wearing a pair of pyjama pants. and shoko is silent, blinking drowsily, twitching when his loud voice buzzes in her ear. she makes no move to push him away. 

suguru gazes at them with a smile, in tandem with you, nothing but fond. loving, in the way the amber of his eyes gleams and swirls with promises of something everlasting. he’s a little intense, honestly. but you wouldn’t have him any other way.

and, admittedly, your sleepy little partners are a sight for sore eyes. 

shoko meets your gaze, and finally decides to shake off the man with an arm over her shoulder. said man huffs, but makes no move to follow her when she stumbles into your arms. 

her limbs find their way around your midriff, her chin to the curve of your shoulder. her hair is loose, almost as long as suguru’s, messy and brushing against your cheek. your hand goes to smooth down her back, the fabric of her oversized shirt, soft and laced with the scent of laundry detergent. she yawns, right by your ear, lips jutted out into a small pout, and something in your chest returns. a hungry plant, drinking up her raspy voice, the glimpse you get of that mole beneath her eye. her stretch marks, when she pulls away and her shirt rides up enough to expose her thighs. little lightning bolts.

”morning,” you chirp. she presses a tiny kiss against your cheek, dangerously close to your lips; sometimes you think she does it just to tease you.

”hey, how come i didn’t get a morning kiss?”

shoko turns her head, finding satoru’s accusing stare. he’s pouting, tilting his head, already making his way over to suguru. but she only rolls her eyes.

”you’re such a baby.”

”you know you love me!”

suguru stifles a puff of laughter, leaning back against the kitchen counter, elbows resting on the marble. watching his partners with barely contained delight. satoru notices, grinning softly, throwing his arms around his boyfriend’s neck.

satoru’s kisses are always sloppy. you hear that drawn out mwah! even without looking at the pair, even without seeing his lips against suguru’s jaw. a phantom warmth sprouts on your skin. 

”good morning, handsome,” he purrs, low and rumbling through his chest, pressed flush against suguru’s — their heartbeats mingling together. soft skin against smooth fabric. there’s mischief in those aquamarine eyes, something teasing, and it makes suguru want to return the favour. 

”good morning, baby,” he presses his lips against satoru’s cheek. voice muffled against his soft skin, silky and deep. ”you kinda smell.”

a moment passes. the calm before the storm.

satoru blinks, barely registering shoko’s dry chuckle from behind him — and then furrows his eyebrows together like an irritated cat. a scandalized noise builds up at the base of his throat, and he glares at the man in front of him, frustration only growing when he notices that suguru isn’t returning the favour. his gaze is still fond, like an artist admiring a marble statue, drinking in his pouty boyfriend’s fluffy hair and droopy eyes and rosy lips. flattering, but the damage has been done.

”oh, i see how it is,” he withdraws his arms and takes a step back, crossing them with a hmph. ”bullying your sweet boyfriend first thing in the morning, huh? have you no shame?”

”sorry. you just look really bulliable today.”

another offended little noise. he turns on his heel, messy strands of hair swaying with the movement, glaring at shoko instead. ”unbelievable. and during women’s history month, too!”

”you aren’t a woman, satoru.”

”i could be.” 

you huff out a breathy laugh, taking a seat by the kitchen table while your lovers bicker. sipping from your cappuccino in silence, soaking up the mellow morning mood. until you feel satoru staring at you; eyes like marbles, big and bright, rich with mirth. his pout fades away, and he closes in on you with a smile. troubles forgotten. 

before you can greet him, he’s leaning down to leave a fat kiss on your forehead — messy, uncoordinated, but loving. a coo on the tip of his tongue. when he’s this close you can see his dimples, those tiny freckles that only come out in the light of the sun. 

you feel him smile against your skin, pulling back to speak. parting his pretty, glossy lips. ”and good morning to you, my dearest.”

he’s silly.

your lips bloom into a sweet grin, honeyed nectar on your teeth. he’s illuminated by the light streaming in through the window, a little disheveled, with his cute bedhead and bare chest exposed. a giggle slips from your lips, and your voice carries a melodic lilt, coming out as a soft croon. ”good morning, sunshine.”

satoru blinks. just once, before the telltale signs of his excitement start to show; his face brightening, breaking out into a cheshire grin, something sweet in the way his eyes crinkle. like folded origami, like messily cut fruit. citrusy and smooth.

before you can protest, those strong arms are reaching around your waist — hoisting you up into his arms with a coo of c’mere. he spins you around, just once or twice, and chuckles at the way you let out a sleepy yelp. even after stilling, he doesn’t put you down, only guiding your legs to wrap around his middle; his naked chest and muscles pressed flush against you. he’s warm, one large palm on your back and the other on your thigh. he touches you like it’s muscle memory, every ridge and dip, every part of you he’s already long mapped out.

honestly, you don’t understand how he can get so overcome with joy so early in the morning. but who are you to complain when it means getting smothered like this? 

”oh, and i smell great, by the way,” he suddenly huffs, directed at the partners behind him. he’s quick to smile down at you, tilting his head and searching for approval. ”don’t i, baby?”

for a second, you’re tempted to join in on the teasing. some part of you wants to. unfortunately, it loses against the parts of you still mesmerized by the splotches of white inside his pretty eyes, those cute little freckles. so you nod.

”yeah,” you breathe. inhaling, taking him in, sunlight and strawberries and laundry detergent. ”you smell like spring.”

his smile continues to blossom, turning sweeter by the minute. brighter than the sun. he throws a victorious glance behind him, delighting in the simultaneous roll of their eyes — before finally putting you back down. he wastes no time in plopping down on the seat to your right, dragging your chair closer to his, until they’re pressed against each other. curling a leg around yours. so clingy in the morning. 

suguru and shoko are quick to join you. they blink slowly, sipping on their cups of espresso, a rich aroma spreading throughout the kitchen. it blends well with the plates of pancakes suguru scoots towards you, drizzled with the syrup satoru likes. he’s attentive, making sure you’re all comfortable, rising to his feet when shoko asks for a single cube of sugar. she’s started to mellow out a bit, no longer as grumpy, soothed by the bitter taste on her tongue. and satoru keeps your leg locked in place beneath the table.

it’s hard not to feel nostalgic, like this. when spring is blooming just outside your window, when all three of them are just the same as you remember. some things have changed, sure, but they’re still so unapologetically them. loud voices, rude eye-rolls, teasing comments and all.

they munch on their pancakes, sip on their coffee, and you chat about what to do when you all get home. what movie to watch, what food to order, what food to make because suguru doesn’t think you’ve been eating enough homemade meals lately. bickering and bantering. smiling.

(it feels like high school every day.)

shoko is the first to leave. she glances at the clock on the wall and stutters out a string of curse words, a mutter about being late. suguru plays dumb when she accuses him of not reminding her on purpose. she kisses you again, right under your jaw, and lets her clingy boyfriends give her one kiss each on the lips — despite her protests that they’ll mess up her lipstick. then she’s heading out.

”goodbye, doctor!” satoru calls, cheery even as your girlfriend rolls her pretty eyes.

”don’t call me that yet,” she snorts, adjusting her scarf. ”there’s still a good chance i’ll drop out. or cheat my way to a doctorate.”

so she says, but you all know her. you catch that glimmer of amusement in her eyes, something smug in the way she straightens her back. a little embarrassed, maybe. but the faith you have in her makes her glow.

then it’s satoru’s turn. he’s whinier, about it, ignoring the alarms on his phone on purpose. suguru has to bribe him, promising him kikufuku and take-out and an extra tight hug when he gets home. only then does he get up from his seat, untangling his leg with yours.

”do i have to?”

”yes, you do,” suguru tuts. ”the kids have an exam today. be responsible.”

another pout. but he listens, slipping on his sunglasses, putting on a coat and stealing a sip of your coffee that only makes him grimace. he has you both kiss the taste away, and you indulge him, because he’s silly and stupid and yours. 

and then it’s just you and suguru. he has a day off, and you don’t have to leave until later. the kitchen falls silent, back to a mellow morning rhythm, that quiet waltz of motions and sunshine. suguru pours you more coffee, gazing at you from across the table, and you thank him with a smile. he adjusts his glasses and flips through the morning newspaper; absently, you wonder if shoko and satoru would’ve teased him for it if they were here.

what the four of you have is an odd arrangement. but that’s what all of you are, anyway; a little odd. 

and as you sit there, serenaded by cicadas and morning birds, senses caressed by cappuccino foam and apricot blossoms and a hand holding yours over the table… you think to yourself that even if everything shattered around you — if the earth stopped spinning or the stars crashed through the roof of your apartment — you’d probably still keep on living. you’d do it, if only to continue chewing on these memories, these mornings, like savouring the faded flavour of an old piece of gum. over and over again, until you can’t tell where your teeth end and where the gum begins, so that you’ll always be able to taste it on your tongue. for the rest of your life.

it’s melodramatic, yes, but they are too. you’re sure suguru is pondering a sentiment even more dramatic, right now, even heavier with devotion. something so sappy you’d have to hide your face in your hands and beg him to stop talking. 

and, lo and behold, he suddenly speaks up. 

“are you happy?”

the question breaks you out of your silent stupor. you look up from your plate, his amber eyes already taking you in, drowning you in fondness. he’s smiling, and he’s looking at you like you’re spring personified. the silver of his lip piercing catches the light of the sun. a couple apricot petals are stuck in his hair, woven between his raven locks. 

you blink. inside your chest, something unfurls, twists and turns, grows and withers all at once. a whole garden of love, just for them.

you lean forward, elbows on the table, and brush through his bangs. petal caught between your fingertips. when you lean back, you’re smiling.

“yeah,” you answer, truthfully. inhaling the scent of spring. “i’m always happy when i’m with you.”

a breeze caresses your cheek, your hands, and the whole apartment smells of apricots. suguru seems pleased, returning to his cup of lukewarm coffee, a little clink of ceramic against porcelain that strikes you as distinctly heavenly.

soon, you’ll have to leave. you’ll have to manage without their jokes and banter and touches, without them, for a grueling number of hours, one tortuous lecture after another. but they’ll be waiting once you get back — and tomorrow, you’ll have breakfast again, just like this. forever and ever. you never want the coffee to run out, never want the apricot trees to wither. you want to stay greedy for a long time to come. 

and you’re sure they feel the same.

the sun lets her golden hair flow throughout the city, melting rivers and warming benches. she falls across shoko’s lecture hall, sneaks into satoru’s classroom, kisses her way up suguru’s neck. you let a sigh slip past your lips, and the sun breathes it in again. a vein of joy awoken, slumbering inside your veins; and you smile.

it’s springtime, now, a little warmer. 

(here’s to another year together.)

[aspenflower17]

Finding You (Part Eight of ??)

So, if anyone is willing to do a reaction video/voice recording to this part, I would love it... A lot.

Anywho, if you’re new here, please stop and go read the other parts to this fic. The link to Part One is right here.

The Lovelies:  @simpingforsatan​ @naimena​ @hachimochi​ @wrathandgreed​ @magi-minminxiii​ @rensphilia​ @a-dream-at-night​ @chloelikesobeyme​ @getbehindme-satan​

Satan/F!Mc

Word Count: 2.059

Trigger Warnings: angst

“Satan?”

A jolt ran through his body. Was that?...

“Is that you?”

His head snapped up to reveal Mc. Standing in front of him. Like she had never left. She looks really resistant though. Why does she?... Oh! Smile! Smile stupid!

Her anxious look melted away, and she grinned back at him, “I can’t believe I actually found you.”

Wait, she was out looking for me?

“Your brothers are out looking for you. I ran into some of them yesterday.”

“They’re out looking for me?” That’s what you’re going to ask about? Not her? How she’s doing? Anything?

“Yeah…” Mc clapped her hands in front of her body nervously, “So, I’m not sure if you remember me-”

“Of course I remember you!” Satan blurted out rather loudly. His eyes took in her look of growing astonishment but glee, and he could feel the walls he had built around his newfound emotions crumble, along with his carefully crafted facade. The last time he had been this unguarded was… No. I am not thinking about that right now. She’s here; that’s all there is. Everything will be alright now. 

She looked down demurely, a blush on her cheeks. A lock of her hair fell over her face and he was about to brush it behind her ear when she spoke again, “That makes me so happy to hear. I was really worried you wouldn’t.”

“How could I not?” He couldn’t hide the tenderness that creeped into his voice. She was just so beautiful. 

“Well, I figured interactions like that were either common place or not worth remembering,”

Wait? Didn’t I tell her she’s the only person I’ve ever been in love with?

“- And I’m sure I was annoying-”

Huh?

“But you were so kind and patient. Even writing me that note. I still have it you know,” she blushed again, surely saying more than she had meant to, but Satan was still trying to process her words. A silence creeped in between them, which she nervously filled, “I really took your advice to heart. You opened up a world for me I’m not sure I could’ve found otherwise, so I wanted to come back and thank you.”

“I… Uhh… To what exactly are you referring?” He knew his voice was flat, but he couldn’t help it. His mask had plastered itself to his face as a defence mechanism. He really didn’t understand what she was saying, and he watched as she registered the change in demeanor.

“Well, when you helped me out as a child. I got separated from my brother, Luke, and you helped me back to Purgatory Hall.”

Satan’s mind went completely blank before all his thoughts came rushing in at once. Oh. I forgot. When someone goes to the Celestial Realm they lose their memories. She doesn’t remember being human. She doesn’t remember being an exchange student. She doesn’t remember me.

Some part of his brain had been working on the particular exchange in question, “Luke’s your brother right?” He was surprised that anything was coming out of his mouth, much less anything even pertaining to the memory, even as it felt like everything inside his mind was breaking. Cracking like glass.

“Yes,” her words were enthusiastic enough, but her face told a different story, “I was hoping you’d remember. I know I probably wasn’t that interesting to talk to back then, but I can assure you I’ve learned a lot since then. I’ve read every book on your list multiple times. Well, except for Candide. I really didn’t like that book,” she was babbling, nervous at his lack of reaction.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. It was nice to find someone willing to learn. I wouldn’t have bothered with the letter had I found you boring,” Satan was trying his best, but he couldn’t keep the hollow, offhand tone his voice had taken. I haven’t spoken to her like this since before the trip to London.

“Hah, uh, good to know,” Mc laughed, “Oh, I heard you went to my show. Oh, if you don’t know, I’m Jane Doe.”

“I did go. I couldn’t get out of the maze.”

“Oh, sorry about that. I told Diavolo, that is, Lord Diavolo, that the maze was a bit big and the amount of work he had me bring was insane, but he said something about people that really wanted to get to the center, would. I think it did rush a lot of the people that were there, since the discussions I had were a bit lackluster, but, uh, yeah. I wish you could’ve made it,” she spoke haltingly at the end, seeming to lose a lot of the steam she had when she looked at him. 

It’s because my expression hasn’t changed at all.

They stood there in silence a bit before Mc broke it, “So, I’m going to head back to the castle, I guess… Ummm, yeah. Thanks for the… talk. Okay,” and she turned around with a sad look on her face.

Before he could process what he was doing, he had grabbed her wrist, “Wait!”

She turned around, pretty shocked by his actions. He dropped her wrist with an embarrassed cough. He could feel his cheeks burning up, and he had to look away, “I mean, could I walk you there?”

Mc’s mouth worked wordlessly for a second, before stuttering out, “Y-yeah, if you w-want.”

Satan kept his hands behind his back, as they started walking, not trusting them not to betray him again. He knew he was stiff but the cracks in his mind threatened to shatter with one wrong move. He kept looking over at Mc as slyly as he could. She was holding the wrist he had grabbed, and seemed a little uncomfortable. He cursed himself for not being able to speak. This is all I’ve ever wanted since she… left, and I can’t even talk to her. Even about something mundane like the weather. Why am I so weak sometimes? 

As the silence stretched on, he could feel the awkward atmosphere increase. Say something! What’s the point of having this much knowledge if I can’t even figure out what to say? He almost sighed as the castle came into view, simply because it meant relief. Soon, they were at the front gate and then the front doors.

Mc coughed quietly, grabbing Satan’s attention, “Thank you for walking me here. I appreciate it,” she smiled at him though it was small.

Oh no you idiot. Say something! Anything!

“Of course. It was a pleasure.”

Seriously, that’s all you have to say?!

Mc raised her eyebrows slightly, nodding a little bit, seemingly unconvinced, “Well, bye then.”

“Yes. Goodbye,” Satan said, and he actually turned around and started walking away, though his brain was screaming at him to stay. He heard the door shut behind him, the sound making him flinch. Once he was out of the gate, he finally shattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucifer was tired. Not only had they been out searching for three days, the only lead they had gotten was someone who said Satan had come around asking about the art show. Lucifer had even been in contact with Diavolo to ask if Satan had been to the castle, but it had been a negative. He wasn’t sure why he was so insistent to find Satan this time around. He’d never worried too much about his disappearances before as long as it didn’t affect his schooling. Something inside him was worried about him though.

He slung his coat over his couch, and a sound further in his room made him freeze, quickly gathering his power.

“That’s why you didn’t tell us, isn’t it?”

“Satan, where have you been and why are you lurking in my room?”

“It’s because she doesn’t remember us.”

The pain in Satan’s voice caused Lucifer to stop. Deciding it was easier to have this conversation when he was willing to talk rather than trying to force him, “Yes, partially.”

“And the other part?”

“Well, how do you tell your family that their favorite human is back from the dead, but is now an angel who doesn’t remember them at all so no, you can’t just go see her? Lord Diavolo also told me not to,” Lucifer answered, walking over to his fireplace to start it.

“That’s fair.” The lack of emotion in Satan’s voice made Lucifer frown slightly.

“Well, I was saved from trying to explain it since you so flippantly announced it at breakfast,” Lucifer goaded, getting the wood to ignite.

“Oh, yeah, I did do that. Sorry.” The admission of guilt had Lucifer flipping around to make sure it was actually Satan in his room, and the sight that met his eyes made him gasp. It was Satan, but he looked awful.

“What happened?” Lucifer asked, voice hushed.

Satan didn’t even lift his eyes, “I searched for her. She found me. We talked. She only remembers me from a meeting we had when she was a young angel. I made a fool of myself. She’s back at the castle. I’m…” he left the sentence hanging, his eyes more dead than after the funeral. Not that Lucifer remembered much about that time himself.

Lucifer sat himself in the other chair, staring into the fire. If Satan was ready to talk to him, he was not going to ruin it.

“I didn’t think I’d be able to hurt like this again. I thought I’d locked away my feelings and learned to cope, but one sight of her and I crumbled. All my defenses gone. She got in and then broke me. I had to walk around cracked, ready to shatter at any moment. The impossibility of the situation would make me laugh if I could.”

“She did know you though.”

“Huh?”

“It may not be the memory you want, but she does remember you. Was it a bad memory?”

“... No.”

“That’s something then,” Lucifer could feel Satan’s incredulous look without looking over. He drug out the moment, going over to his liquor cabinet and pouring himself and Satan a glass of demonus, “The way I see it, you have a chance to win Mc’s heart again. You get to watch her fall in love again. You get to have all your firsts again. There’s a lot of entities out there who would be jealous of your position,” he offered Satan the glass, which he took but didn’t drink from, before he continued, “Take Luke for example. He saw the opportunity to become her big brother, and he took it. I hear from Diavolo they’re quite close now, and though he doesn’t always admit it, Luke absolutely adores his little sister. He took his chance and never looked back.”

“... You think I can win her back? I am a demon and she is an angel now.”

“Your differences in station didn’t stop you when her lifespan was only going to be about a century. Wrath incarnate fell for a weak human who couldn’t even stay alive long enough for you to see her grow old. Why would her being an angel be a problem? If anything, though she is still young, she has obviously learned a lot in that time. She is more your equal now then she was before.”

“How would that even work?”

“How did your relationship with her before work? How were you planning on it ending?”

“... No. No. I could never ask her to fall for me. Never! I know how agonizing it was for you guys. I could never hurt her like that!”

“There’s more that can happen to an angel than falling,” Lucifer grunted, “I also don’t think it’s your choice on if she falls or not. That’s her decision to make.”

Satan sat forward in the chair, glass clenched in his hands, green eyes reflecting the flames. When he didn’t speak for a while, Lucifer decided to try another tactic, “I know Lord Diavolo has absolutely no problems with you two being together and completely condones the match. I… I as well think it’s a good match up and I believe you can win her back with no problems. The question is what you’re going to do?” He looked over, bringing his glass to his lips. 

Satan hadn’t changed positions, but his eyes now showed determination, “I need some parchment and a pen.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Nine

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 28

catch me completely ignoring dark cybertron lmao

yeahhhh so I'm just gonna skip dark cybertron bc no thanks. I did read the tf wiki articles for the issues tho, which is more than I did in the past, so at least now I kinda know what happened, though I had to suffer thru reading about dark cybertron to learn stuff about it. yikes. reading ABOUT dark cybertron further enforced my decision to not actually read thru it

anyways. the best part of dark cybertron was when chromedome threw prowl off that cliff. that was baller lmfao

a 1 page recap of dark cybertron is about all I can handle. thank you

ooh, the 6 months later smash-cut, I fucking love itttt

nautica’s here!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy I love her. also brainstorm, and I love their friendship sm

hvbjdkhfbshdfj god I love them. they have such a fun dynamic 

everyone eavesdropping on a therapy session vhbhdjkhafbhkjsdf. hipaa laws mean nothing as usual 

the casual reveal of captain megatron, oh god 

the title fucking slaps, as usual. this is one of my favorites - ‘world, shut your mouth.’ great stuff, and a song title/reference to boot! and this being part 1: towards peace...chefs kiss

and then we flash back to 6 months earlier...yknow now that I'm rereading this, mtmte has a LOT of framing devices used - there's story-within-a-story, flashback/flash-forwards, storytelling with narration, etc...I love it

god hbvhjakdfbshjkdf rodimus saying ‘magic’ and then the little *magic = science rodimus doesn't understand HBGKJHSDBFKHJSDF my idiot boy ily

rodimus roasting prowl is my fav hbfjdkafshsbjkf ‘maybe the knights can help us find a cure for your personality’ ily sm

and then prowl agreeing w/rodimus a few panels later about megatron’s guilt...

optimus...don't you think that making yourself chief of justice is...maybe a bad idea...like, maybe there's a conflict of interests here...just a little bit of bias...a bit too much history, perhaps...

the fact that all the big roles in the trial were given to high-ranking autobots who were heavily involved in the war...I see that cybertrons justice system is as much of a farce as their medical ethics and patient confidentiality laws 

the ‘you BROKE the MATRIX’ panel is so good bjhkdhfbajskhdf

rodimus: LISTEN dad I just wanna resume my space cruise with my frat bro ship I have no interest in politics

psychiatrists HATE him! local former warlord refuses to recognize the validity of psychological analyzation of people’s actions

ravage casually breaking hipaa laws and chilling in megatron’s therapy session like >:3

I love rung...he’s so good at like, passive-aggressively cutting right to the heart of someone’s issues, and he’s so generally mild that you can’t even really get mad at him 

the sudden inclusion of megatron as a major character in mtmte is kinda jarring at first - mostly, for me at least, due in part because I didn't read dark cybertron so this is like, megatron’s introduction as a relevant character in general - but I feel like jro does a great job laying a lot of intrigue down from the very beginning w/his character - like, I already want to know more about what his whole deal is, even though we have, ostensibly, seen pretty much all of his story play out already 

rung name-dropping froid...i remember that made me lose my shit bc cmon. FROID....jesus christ

rung and megatron: holy shit! we’re suddenly being drawn in a 90s-esque sci-fi tron-looking retro-futuristic style!

interesting that megatron sought rung out, and not the other way around

RIPTIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my favorite sharkboy is HERE

CREWDITIONS...YES....

‘we’re not allowed to take anyone who might remind rodimus of prowl’ vhbhjdkshfbhaskfd brutal

I love nautica so so much. a perfect autistic scientist after my own heart

I adore that nautica brought chromia along for moral support

hgvbjdakhfbhsj and then swerve saying that rodimus hates ‘trisyllabic names’ and nautica is like....but....‘rodimus’.....

and then nightbeat busts in to get all bbc sherlock on they asses hgbfhjadkfbjaskdf

WHY was perceptor at the crewditions if he was already part of the crew lmao

ooof, and then we have megatron flipping out when chromedome, a mnemosurgeon, shows up

also damn the autobots were rlly like okay so we wanna speed this trial up so lets just like, probe megatrons brain, that seems completely ethical, especially when you consider the history of shadowplay and stuff that our previous government had

I know important stuff is happening but megatron is holding a CUBE and I love CUBES so I'm distracted by that. C U B E

and then right after a scene where we see chromedome willing to perform mnemosurgery again - despite rewind’s like, dying wish for him not to - we hear that he’s been locked up in his room rewatching rewinds goodbye message over and over again :( I'm fucking depressed

I love nightbeat, he’s so funny and kind of an asshole

and then you see more missing letters behind them next panel...clearly nightbeat is right and there’s a mystery afoot...OR somebody is fucking with the ship’s lettering as a prank, which is a plot point I would absolutely buy

yeahhhh skids is right, chromedome is clearly Not dealing 

the dramatic graffiti on megatrons door...I wanna know who spray-painted ‘die’ everywhere like they're reaper overwatch

oh god. whirl vs megatron

really cool red lighting tho

GOD its so brutal, all the stuff megatron said about how he told the cons not to kill whirl...and doesn't that end up being false anyways? so he was just saying it to dig at whirl, which is awful

also I'm never over the fact that literally everyone - including megatron and whirl - blames whirl for ‘turning megatron violent,’ as if the entire Point isn't that whirl was a tool for a corrupt system, and if it wasn't whirl it would've just been someone else, and megatron turning away from pacifism was inevitable given the circumstances, AND also a choice on his part, so he really only has himself to blame for his OWN ACTIONS

bye bye whirls right arm, see you in lost light 

‘people never stop changing’ that IS something I say all the time...damn you warlord grandpa! how can you steal my philosophies?!

ohhh man and then rewind’s goodbye message being different....oooh

AUGH the fact that whirl was basically trying to goad megatron into killing him, just like he did in issue 1 w/cyclonus...It Hurts Man

also I do love the hint at who he’s talking to w/whirl shooting megatron with the bow and arrow earlier, and we know that atomizer is a fan of those

ok, but here’s where my philosophy diverges - megatron talks about throwing away his past and starting new, but I think that you have to learn from and build on your past...either way, megatron’s arc is one that I enjoy greatly from a character writing standpoint, and I'm excited to get it underway, especially w/how controversial it is lmao

big ole double-page spread...I like how you can pick out individual characters in the background crowd, which is crazy cause that's a LOT of people. also how come cosmos is so HUGE

phewwww 4.6 billion cybertronians died in the war, that’s INSANE. that's like, an incomprehensibly huge number. is there an estimate for their current population? I bet its not a lot. no wonder jro leaned into reproductive themes so much in mtmte/ll - of course the continuation of your species would be a concern for many if your numbers have been that greatly reduced

optimus w/his fancy tyrest-lookin crown

oughdajbfsbdf and the fact that megatron ALSO murdered 100 BILLION non-cybertronians...bruh. I feel like they maybe should've dialed those numbers back a little to allow his ‘redemption arc’ to run a little smoother lmao. but also I admire the commitment either way

and then we end w/megatron doing captain stuff, and seeing The Coffin...and we never did see rodimus in any of the flash-forward parts of this issue, did we???? I love how concerning that is. where's my BOY

also of course we gotta remember the warning from way back at the beginning of mtmte: ‘don't open the coffin’....

and so begins mtmte s2! man I love s2. I love mtmte in general lmao. s2 takes on the impossible w/the whole ‘megatron redemption arc’ thing, and I know that’s like, a divisive plot point and stuff, but from a writing standpoint I enjoyed it a lot...I think it was pretty much as well done as it could've been given the enormity of the task, and I thought it was a really interesting direction for the story to go in 

also espec if it’s true that hasbro was like ‘hey jro put megatron in your story and give him a redemption arc’ rather than jro like, planning/asking to do it 

anyways. I doubt ill talk much abt the disc horse(tm) here bc this is just for fun and also my own personal opinions and whatever, but I for one am excited to reexperience this stuff 

so yeah s2 off to a strong start with some wild shit already happening! cant wait to read more!

[mikmaqs]

so i took the plunge and watched promare (2019)

this morning i set out on something i have intended to for some time now, ever since seeing the very mixed opinions on the film. here's my take as an indigenous person, viewing indigenous/minority representation in this movie.

i will add that i am not jewish, which seems to be what most parallels get drawn to. this is just my view as an indigenous person w a long history of myself and my people dealing with oppression, so if jewish people have anything to add, absolutely feel free to do so, because i could have very well missed some things. that being said, let me compile my thoughts.

so, to begin with, i'll state my positive feelings on the movie to get out of the way the things that i did find enjoyable. then, i'll touch what i thought was...eh. less good, or downright bad.

first of all, the animation and color scheme of this movie really was beautiful, and a pleasure to look at (i.e. lio's volcano rage sequence, the promare itself, etc). interesting stylistic choices and enjoyable animation are, i hear, relatively intrinsic to the studio trigger brand. i can't verify, because i haven't ever viewed a studio trigger film before this to my knowledge, but that's what i get through the grapevine. the use of vibrant colors is very pleasing to look at, though it could probably be used as a murder weapon for anyone with color sensitivity or epilepsy, which is...less good, but the appeal was there. just know that it's very bright and a little flashy before viewing.

secondly, i enjoyed the character design more or less...except for, uh, a few things i'll mention later. generally, it was nice, and not an eyesore.

thirdly, the soundtrack was pretty good. i did find a few songs got reused a lot, but that's not exactly a this specific movie problem anyway, and generally not even much of an issue. it didn't unground me or anything, just was noticable enough to make me note it during viewing.

basically, as a whole, the aesthetic value of this movie is very good! credit is given where credit is due, so, yeah, i can say i did enjoy that part.

now, there's...a fair plethora of issues with this movie.

what i gather from this is i can, like...kind of see what they were prooobably trying to do here. like, i doubt they FULLY intended to make such a horrible approach at issues of social justice and racial equality, but, uh. yeah. it wasn't good. and i hear they've done similarly distasteful things, so who knows what the inner workings were with this. at best, it reads as insensitive and uneducated, which is not really what you want in a movie. the aesthetic value is not much if the storyline is sort of trash.

first thing i notice is that the minority group (the burnish, for those who have not viewed) is given a destructive ability and, apparently, an innate urge to........burn things down.......because........the promare......speak to them. like maybe that was just poor thinking, but the first thing you should not do is make the minority group inherently violent and destructive with the whole "the flames talk to us and tell us to burn shit so that's what we do" thing. personally, it reads to me as "oh these poor people inherently violent and horrible" and it's. um. unsettling. of course, the burnish hold pride in never killing for no reason, which makes this a bit more salvageable, but not good.

especially when part of the next scenes of the movie include lio (the leader of the burnish) losing his shit and having to be stopped by the white savior trope. like. well. this is unfortunate now isn't it. of course, i can't be positive galo is white, but i'm referring more to the "majority saves minority from...being a minority" thing that plays out here. like. imagine john smith stopping pocahontas from going into a rage and spearing people or whatever white people think we do. yeah that's basically what happens here and it's................yeah!

the only truly enjoyable characters were the burnish honestly. like. my dear fellow indigenous/minority i'm so sorry you have been subjected to this badly written movie. lio fotia i'm so sorry. you were the only character i liked.

and theeeen the parallels to the holocaust come in, and this is where it gets, uh, uncomfortable. more than before.

so this guy named kray foresight (what a name, huh) has an insane little superiority complex and thinks he's jesus or something. come to find out, he's a burnish — way to villainize the minority but without the "but they're people too" redeeming part, studio trigger — who is...doing experiments, human experiments, on the burnish to power his spaceship.

it's as weird as it sounds.

but the point right now isn't mr foresight's silly little spaceship adventure, it's the parallels to the human experiments conducted at concentration camps (promare has those too, by the way, but they're more of jail cells here) by doctors working under the nazi regime. most know by now about the horrific experiments conducted on people during the holocaust, majorly jewish people among other smaller percentages of other groups (poles, yugoslavs, actually mostly any minority the nazis could find and didn't like). the parallels to jewish oppression are staggering and impossible to ignore or not notice, for me anyway, and this is from someone who isn't even jewish. i'm sure watchers who are notice it even more starkly.

did i mention the whole symbol surrounding the burnish is a pink triangle?

gee. i wonder where we've seen triangles to identify a minority group before.

oh yeah. the identification tags used to separate jewish people from non-jewish people the nazis created.

funny how that works out.

there's also the way the star of david appears throughout the movie. or the several other parallels that exist within the film.

and the "genocide cultivation beam", whatever the fuck that means.

and the way the movie ends with the burnish just...not being burnish. identity: gone, white: savior, hotel: trivago.

yeah. the whole conflict of "the burnish keep setting shit on fire" gets solved by "well, we'll get rid of what makes them burnish as if we couldn't just settle it in another way anyone with a brain could think of". but, you know, plot is apparently more important than respect..

and all that aside? there's still more issues.

like the incredibly racist caricatures of Black people, y'know? the whole "big bulky deep voiced animalistic" racist rhetoric? yeah. yeah, they got that too. it takes about half a brain cell to notice it, and it's so hard to stomach, as a bipoc. i'm a poc, and even when it's not my race, it's so difficult to watch these poor, distasteful portrayals of real life oppression and real life people.

tl;dr, promare is a very well animated movie with a nice soundtrack, but that does nothing to wipe away the VERY large issues within it. if you are going to be interested in the characters and media, i IMPLORE you to remain VERY critical of every flaw and never excuse it. be sensible about your interests. i enjoyed lio as a character, but do i condone the issues in this film? fuck no, and i feel bad the poor guy had to be part of it. fork over the rights to lio fotia to me i'll treat him better than studio trigger ever did.

as always, be critical of your interests and listen to people affected when they bring something to your awareness. you can like characters without excusing the grossly evident issues of a piece of media. none of it is okay or excusable, regardless of what the intent may have been.

like i said, if anyone has anything to add, please do feel free to do so, and let me know — i'm always ready to listen and look at different viewpoints, especially of those affected by this media. ❤️

[jacksjoke]

yo! i've been following your tumblr mostly just for cql because aha :^) you know how it is :^) but it's left a void in my chest. i know you rb a lot of content for other shows, so i figured i'd ask you for some recs (and the best places to watch them uwu)!! thanks so much i'd die for u

Hello anon!! I totally get you 💀 I’m gonna assume that you want me to rec BLs, so I’ll tell you only the ones that I’ve liked best and why, where I watched them, and possible trigger warnings as well for you :)

So first up is my favorite: Theory of Love

Who stars in it: Off Jumpol (as Kai) and Gun Atthaphan (as Third), aka OffGun, aka icons and best friends who we stan to this very day

Why I recommend: I adore this show for so many reasons but overall the vibe is just so good dfhkhkhj It references like a trillion rom-coms and I won’t spoil it but there is a literal montage of some classic rom-com scenes done by the main characters that is just so fucking hysterical, I cry every time. There’s also a compilation here of movie posters that they recreated to imitate some classic rom-coms as well, which made me DIE from emotions I tell you what. This show is just so funny and makes fun of itself with characters that you genuinely grow to adore. Kai is a chaotic dumb of ass bisexual and we love him in this house (as infuriating as he can be lmfao). It’s so rewatchable GOD 10/10 would recommend.

Warnings: There is no sexual abuse in the show of any kind, except for one scene that is just a kiss and very mild, so I think you’d be all good there. :)

Where to watch: I watched it on YouTube! Here’s the link to episode one part one

History3: Trapped

Who stars in it: Jake Hsu (plays Shao Fei) and Chris Wu (plays Tang Yi), aka weirdos who can’t stop laughing while filming and being dumb in general and I love that for them and me

Why I recommend: I loved it. The main couple is adorable with so much chemistry and I will be totally honest, they remind me SO MUCH of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Like on the rewatch I just did of this show, I couldn’t believe the similarities the character Shao Fei has to Wei Wuxian and his counterpart Tang Yi has to Lan Wangji. Like. When I tell you I was shook the house, I mean it. But the side couple is ALSO iconic the house and the CUTEST like if you don’t want to adopt Zhao Zi and also officiate his wedding by the show’s end, I’d be shocked dfhhkghdjkl All in all, it’s such a funny show with very tender, heartfelt moments that are to die for. This show has it all: plot twists, cops falling in love with mobsters and vice versa, a character whose goal in life is to just eat as much good food as possible… amazing.

Warnings: The show has fighting and violence but seeing as you watched The Untamed, I’m assuming you’re okay with it lol There is an instance where one character tries to rape one of the leads by drugging him, so keep an eye out for that, but I think it will be obvious because he starts to pass out and you will know whether you feel you have to skip the scene or not. He isn’t undressed, it isn’t anything remotely graphic, but he is groped by the asshole I won’t name man fuck that guy but that’s all!

Where to watch: I watched it on newasiantv, link to ep1 here

Dark Blue Kiss

Who stars in it: Fluke Gawin Caskey (Mork) and Podd Suphakorn (Sun) aka two of the most gorgeous and sweet dudes alive fdhgldfhgdk AND BL vets, New Thitipoom (Kao) and Tay Tawan (Pete)

First off: dshhgdksj If you haven’t seen Kiss Me Again or Kiss the Series you might be a little confused. Dark Blue Kiss is sort-of-a-continuation-but-not-really of those other two series, and it sort of adds to the experience if you have seen them. If you want to, just watch Kiss Me Again and I think you’ll be okay honestly; it’s just because you might want context of the characters (Pete and Kao, their friends etc.) and their relationships to one another going into Dark Blue Kiss.

Why I recommend: NOW two of the leads, Sun and Mork, have one of The Best relationships in any BL I’ve ever seen because they have real conversations and have real conflict and issues that they work to get through. Rain (Sun’s younger bro and Mork’s bestie) is an absolute delight and their story arc throughout the show is so iconic we just have to stan. I won’t get into Kao and Pete fhhkhdj because I just have Opinions on fucking w characters/relationships for the sake of drama and that’s what I think this series did to them, unnecessarily ahem But otherwise it’s funny and real and again if you dont literally love Mork and Rain and Sun by the end of it did you even watch the same show???

Warnings: There is a brief scene where one character tries to get w another who is like get tf AWAY weirdo lmfao but there is no actual abuse bc they are stopped well in time to avoid it

Where to watch: I watched Dark Blue Kiss on newasiantv as well because the episodes on YouTube tended to not get subbed as quickly as I wanted which you will understand if you watch this lmao. Here is the link to episode one of Kiss Me Again as well as a link to episode one of Kiss the Series if you feel like watchin those two beforehand

Tharntype the Series

Who stars in it: Gulf Kanawut (Type) and Mew Suppasit (Tharn) aka those two guys who you might see do a shit ton of fanservice that I diligently ignore because I hate fanservice lol This show exists in the same universe as another BL that I am reluctant to put on here lol but will get into later on.

Why I recommend: BEFORE YALL FLAY ME ALIVE djkhgldhgfdjhhkjd OKAY LISTEN genuinely, on a very real level, I FULLY understand why a lot of people here refused to watch this show or couldn’t finish it. You’re totally valid and legit I almost stopped after ten minutes because I was like here we go AGAIN. However! I was so drawn in by the acting that I wanted to give it a chance, and I’m SO GLAD that I did. Gulf and Mew, as well as Mild (who plays Techno) and Kaownah (who plays Lhong) and everyone else who acts in this show, is incredible and their chemistry is insane. I would say it’s some of the best chemistry and acting I’ve seen, BL or otherwise. You get angry at the two main characters interchangeably and I truly feel that that makes it real, you know what I mean? There is no oh he’s in the right, fuck that other guy 100% for either of them. They are both real, flawed men who grow so immensely throughout this series where by the end you’re so proud of their development and the love they find for themselves and in each other??? Because it doesn’t feel like we’ll get there, but they DO. And it’s BEAUTIFUL. We’re getting a second season, which to me is always a tad worrisome because I do think it ended very well and if they fuck with everything (cough KaoPete) just to fuck with it and stir the pot I’m gonna be Upset. But for now, it’s amazing and speaks on topics that aren’t ever addressed. It’s an unfortunate reality in BL that the way so many relationships begin is through sketchy-consensual (drunk, coerced) or flat out like non consensual sexual shit, and this show dives into the aftermath of sexual abuse, the mental impact that has on a person, and how damaging it can be if left unattended. I would give it a chance. I really do think it’s a well done series. Oh and Techno is so relatable and the only one with a brain cell in this show half the time jkdfhhdlkj

Warnings: Like I said, this show is not an easy watch at times. Very often, in fact, it can be difficult. There is homophobic language, two of the characters (I dont want to spoil everything) have been raped in the past, one as a child (which is NOT GRAPHICALLY SHOWN, don’t worry) and the other as a teenager/young adult, which is sort of shown but not in too much detail. Another character in present day “does stuff” to another that isn’t totally consensual, more than once (which is probably my biggest problem with the show and the one thing I really can’t excuse because like bro I don’t care how big your crush is, don’t be an asshole, point blank), but every other sexual thing in the show is consensual and very much wanted

Where to watch: Here is episode one on newasiantv if you want to give this a shot :)

He’s Coming to Me

Who stars in it: Singto Prachaya (Mes) and Ohm Pawat (Thun) aka just two adorable boys

Why I recommend: This show definitely has one of the more unique plots among BLs. I won’t spoil it, and as with all of these I recommend going in without looking up plots because like I know for me movie trailers etc just tell me everything and there doesn’t seem to be a point in watching the movie if I know so much beforehand. The main characters are cute together, there are funny moments and moments that make you cry. And it’s a happy ending, which we love to see :)

Warnings: There is a major character death, no blood though, and you will understand in context that it isn’t as bad as it seems right now lol Nothing that isn’t consensual, which is a miracle in these shows. Overall wholesome content. There is like a weird storyline with one of the character’s moms which was Different to say the least dfjhdflhgkjf but it didn’t ruin the show for me or anything

Where to watch: newasiantv seems to be my go-to lmao

3 Will Be Free

Who stars in it: Joss Way-Ar (Neo), Mild Lapassalan (Miw), and Tay Tawan (Shin). If you watch Dark Blue Kiss or any of those before this, you will recognize Tay and Mild as Pete and Sandee (just friends in those shows). Joss is just such a funny, sweet guy and so is Tay Lowkey biased for them and I honestly often favor TayJoss’ chemistry over TayNew, which I think is controversial lmfaoo but it has to be said lol and obviously Mild is a badass actress and talent so having her here is amazing

Why I recommend: So this is the only BL thus far to feature a polyamorous relationship, which is sort of crazy but I’m so happy it’s been done at least once now. The three have such amazing chemistry and you really grow to care for each of them as individuals as well. They’re just really awesome and I adore them and miss them every day fdjghfdglhkjd There’s also a trans actress!! :D

Warnings: There is quite a bit of gun violence bc one of the character’s father’s is a mob boss. Two side characters are killed, one much further into the show so it hurts even MORE, and one of the other side characters therefore to me doesn’t receive the ending they deserve; it was very messy and I think they deserved better. A woman is in an abusive marriage to a man, which sucked and I skipped a lot of it even though it wasn’t necessarily super violent. I just don’t like that stuff ://

Where to watch: Surprise surprise, newasiantv

Until We Meet Again

Who stars in it: Fluke Natouch (Pharm) and Ohm Thitiwat (Dean), Earth Katsamonnat (Intouch) and Nine Noppakao (Korn). Fluke and Earth invented being friends like……they are so fucking cute and they are both actually queer (have been in public relationships with men) which is always so rare to see and really great :)

Why I recommend: Side couple TeamWin is absolutely iconic. I adore them with my whole body so if for nothing else, watch it for them LMAO But for real InKorn is such a cute couple and PharmDean has a very nice relationship too; they talk about consent and have healthy communication which is so refreshing lmao

Warnings: The show does open with a double suicide by gunshot. I won’t say who, but it is in there. The two main characters have flashbacks/PTSD/nightmares (one worse than the other) which you will understand in context if you watch, but it’s definitely worth the watch

Where to watch: This show is currently airing and I watch it on YouTube; here’s the link to episode one part one

Love By Chance

Who stars in it: Perth Tanapon (Ae) and Saint Suppapong (Pete), Mean Phiravich (Tin) and Plan Rathavit (Can). This is the show that is in the same universe as Tharntype, but the actors who play Techno, Tharn, and Type are different actors in this show than from Tharntype. It’s confusing and messy lol

Warning: I’m putting this before the why I like it because I think it’s necessary for this one. I hesitate to even put LBC on here because there is so much of this show that just makes me uncomfortable. When I first watched this show, the second BL I had ever watched, I had no knowledge of BLs, the actors, or really anything to do with any of this world. So, having grown up with film/tv life where every actor is 27 playing 17, it didn’t occur to me that the actor playing 18 would in fact be 17 instead. Perth was I think 17 or possibly 18 while filming (I don’t know exact dates), which includes sexual scenes that I didn’t even feel comfortable watching BEFORE I knew his age, let alone trying to rewatch the series while knowing about it. I am 20, and was 19 last year when I watched this, so it really skeeves me out to watch those kinds of scenes (BL or otherwise) if actors or actresses aren’t at least 18 or 19. It seems weird because I’m 20 and a queer girl, not like a 50 year old pedophile or something like that, but for my own comfort I tend to skip the more explicit stuff. On my first watch, I skipped the Tharntype, TumTar, and Techno storyline because frankly I didn’t care. Going on to watch Tharntype the Series, I was even happier to have skipped so that I didn’t have to go in with a preconceived idea of the characters from having watched LBC. One of the characters in this version of events is raped or coerced into sex; I don’t even know the details because I just couldn’t be bothered to give it a chance. I firmly believe you can watch this show without watching any of their storylines (and skipping over the more sexual stuff, if you feel you have to), which I know sucks to say bc the actors are all good and I like their other work and them as people, but I just couldn’t do it. It is of course up to you.

Why I recommend: Basically I recommend this just for TinCan lmao and on the chance that you do decide to watch Tharntype, it pays at the end to have a knowledge of the LBC characters because again they are in the same universe and it won’t be as cool if you don’t get it right away like WHAT!!! You know haha so yeah There is going to be a season two dropped sometime this year, focused I believe on TinCan, so I’m literally so fucking excited. Dreams are coming true

Where to watch: I found this show on both Dailymotion and newasiantv

Hey again anon it’s been a minute dfhlhghjd I’m sure this is way longer than you thought and probably don’t want HA but I wanted to be as thorough as possible for you and anyone else who might be new here you feel So some shows I didn’t get into that I watched include Great Men Academy, Together With Me, 2Moons and 2Moons2, Love Sick, ’Cause You’re My Boy (aka My Tee), History3: Make Our Days Count, SOTUS the Series, History2: Crossing the Line, (currently airing) Why R U?, and 2gether.

If you get through the ones I talked about above and want me to talk about these other ones, I’ll do that too!! I hope this helps you and others :D ✌️ ✌️

[communionnimrod]

So like a lot of fun plot ideas, this came about through convos w @gooberfeesh.  This particular one came to us as we were laughing over how crazy fast Hermann types, mix with how skilled a programmer he is how OKAY YEAH he probably did some hacking in his day lets be real.

This also feels appropriate to finish and post with SDCC coming up, lmao (yay con exclusives).  Please enjoy Newt begging Hermann to hack a website for him!   <3 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Convention exclusives sucked.  Newt hated them.  Or, well, he wanted to hate them, but damnit, he LOVED them.  He was not ashamed to admit that when he lived over in America he had done some ridiculous things and spent a stupid amount of money to get some sort of con-exclusive toy or comic.  He was a collector, he lived for this kind of shit.  

Obtaining exclusive stuff was more difficult when you were on a completely different continent than the convention, though.  Even more so when you didn’t have the ability to hop on a plane and fuck off for a few days to go get it.  Newt didn’t think the PPDC would appreciate him disappearing from the Shatterdome and temporarily abandoning his work for (what they would dismissively consider) a toy.

Even IF said “toy” was a limited edition Trespasser and Knifehead statue bundle, intricately sculpted, both of them standing at 17 inches tall and basically perfect.  Newt might have drooled on his keyboard when he saw their prototype reveal.

He definitely cried a little when he saw the news that an insanely limited amount of them were going to be released to buy online.

The only problem was that it really was an insanely limited amount - a whopping 200 would be available for online purchase.  Newt knew from experience how stressful and unpredictable this kind of thing was.  They were likely to go quick, super quick, with high chances of the website crashing or checkout carts freezing.  If Newt wasn’t able to get one bought, he’d be devastated.  He had to hatch a plan, use his big and awesome brain to figure out a way to guarantee he wouldn’t lose this challenge.  They were bound to be options.

The morning they were to become available, Newt was up unnecessarily early.  It was a lot like how he used to be on Christmas Day - bouncing into the living room at 5am while his father was still sound asleep and his uncle wouldn’t be over for hours still.  He was too excited to keep sleeping.  Too nervous.  But!  He tried keeping his nerves at bay the best he could, because he had a PLAN.

An hour before the website was supposed to update, Newt eyed his lab partner carefully, watching him clack away at his computer.  Then, grinning, he wheeled his chair across the lab, sitting backwards in it with his arms draped across the back, only stopping when he slid and bumped into Hermann’s chair.  The man sighed.

“Can I help you, Newton?” he asked, glancing over at Newt, peering at him over the rim of his old man glasses.  Newt loved when he did this, loved the way it showed off his gorgeous, long eyelashes. Buuuuut he needed to focus.  He could dwell on his practically out of control, inappropriate secret crush on the other man later.

“Yes, actually, you sure can,” he grinned, leaning forward and resting his chin on the back of his chair.  “My awesome lab partner, intellectual colleague, all around good guy.”

Hermann regarded him, his dark eyes slowly slanting with each new compliment that came spilling out of Newt’s mouth.  It was a suspicious gaze, one Newt was no stranger to, but he kept grinning anyway.

“What do you want?” Hermann asked, his voice flat.

“Amazing that you should ask, dear Herms!” Newt exclaimed dramatically.  He could hear Hermann growl and open his mouth, no doubt to protest the nickname he despised so much, but Newt didn’t give him the breathing room to start that old argument.  “I was gonna see if you could do me the coolest, most awesome favor in the world and put your out-of-this-world hacker skills to the test for me.”

Hermann stared at him.  Newt leaned forward and rested his chin on his arm, waiting.  Hermann continued to stare.  Newt started bouncing his leg.

“I am not going to hack anything for you,” Hermann finally said.  

“Come oooooon,” Newt groaned.  “Please??”

“Whatever prank you want to pull, I’ll have no part of it.  Absolutely not.”  Hermann turned back towards his monitor.

“Oh!  No, dude, no prank!” Newt started to explain, straightening and nudging the other man’s chair until he looked over again.  “I don’t want you to hack someone.  I just … maybe want you to slightly hack into a website for me so I can buy something before it officially releases?”

Hermann’s eyebrows lifted in disbelief.  Disbelief turned to annoyance, which turned to exasperation, before going flat again.  It was quite the facial journey, really.  One that Newt would totally have appreciated if they weren't on a time crunch.  His leg kept bouncing.

“Absolutely not.”

“Hermaaaaaaaaann-”

“What in the world is so crucial that you would have me do something like this??”

“UGH here, I’ll show you.

Pushing closer and turning in his chair, Newt commandeered Hermann’s computer, ignoring the protest from his lab partner and the way he pushed at his shoulder, trying to get him out of his personal space.  Intent on convincing Hermann to help him, Newt pulled up a web browser and went to the site in question, navigating through until he found the page for the bundle.  Then, beaming, he turned back towards Hermann.

“That.”

“.... kaiju toys,” Hermann mumbled, staring.  “Of course it’s kaiju toys.  Dear lord.”

“Kaiju statues, and yes,” Newt corrected.  “Look at them!  The attention to detail is incredible, it’s the closest a company has ever gotten to accurately replicating their bone structure and skin tone.  And there’s only gonna be, like, 200 of them available.  It’s super limited.  And I super need it.  It’s not like I’m trying to steal one, dude, I’m gonna pay for it, I just … want to be able to pay for it before the plebeians and resellers of the world also have the ability to buy it.”

There was silence for a few moments.  Newt glanced at the clock on Hermann’s computer nervously.  He bounced his leg some more.  Hermann took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose and sighed, before putting them back on.

“I cannot believe you’re asking me to do something like this for you,” Hermann grumbled, shaking his head as he took his keyboard back into his possession.  He started typing, eyes on the screen, and Newt slowly started to grin, the previous anxiousness fading from his expression.  “Thinking that I should take my valuable time away from my breach prediction model to use PPDC-issued computer equipment, on a PPDC server - provided and funded by the United Nations - to illegally hack into a toy selling website so that you can purchase kaiju toys.”

Newt watched in amazement as Hermann worked, his slender fingers flying across the keyboards so fast it was almost inhuman.  How the man didn’t make a million typos, he would never understand.  He couldn’t keep the awe off his face, and for a moment he wondered how lovestruck he looked.  Thankfully Hermann was WAY preoccupied and Newt had time to compose himself.  That was a topic that didn’t need to see the light of day.

“I could have my credentials revoked,” Hermann continued, still huffing over the whole ordeal.  “Were I to get caught.”

“Yeah but you never get caught,” Newt sighed dreamily, watching the website coding on the screen, the back door that Hermann was slipping them in through to open up the cart just moments before the item went live.

“Indeed, which is lucky for us both I suppose,” Hermann replied, snorting.  Then, after a moment, he pushed his chair back, sliding away from his desk slightly.  “Here.  Make your purchase quickly, so I can close this.”

Newt was beaming as he slid in, plugging in the proper information and buying the combo.  Done and done.  It went through without a hitch, and moments later his phone was chiming with his email confirmation.  Oh my god, he’d gotten it.  He was gonna get those beautiful babies.  Unable to contain himself, he let out a whoop of joy as he moved back, letting Hermann come back in to close everything off and remove all trace that they were there.  Newt didn’t miss the soft, amused smile the man had on his face.  It made his heart skip.

Once he was done, Hermann removed his glasses again and turned to face Newt, arching an eyebrow.

“I believe this earns a week without you making some sarcastic remark about my wardrobe,” he said expectantly.

“Sure, no prob,” Newt agreed without even thinking about it.  Rolling in, he snatched Hermann’s hands, lifting them and blowing on the tips of his fingers.

“What are you-” Hermann practically screeched, moving to yank his hands back, his cheeks going slightly pink.

“Fastest guns in the Ol’ West,” Newt smirked.

“... Excuse me?” Hermann asked, his face still flush, clearly missing the reference.  Newt was too happy to care.

“Nothing, man,” he said, standing up and clapping a hand on Hermann’s shoulder.  “Thank you Hermann, seriously.  I owe you one.  Like, more than clothing comments.  I’ll buy you dinner the next free night we have, ‘kay?”

“Um … a-alright,” Hermann agreed softly, nodding.

“So, back to work!” Newt exclaimed, clapping and turning to walk off towards his side of the room.  He didn’t miss the way Hermann huffed again behind him.

“You could at least take your damn chair back with you…”

[zealoptics]

The Outsiders by ZEAL Rider Ian Wood

Words by **[Ian Wood](https://www.instagram.com/eanwood/)** | Photos by **[Jordan Ingmire](https://www.instagram.com/jordaningmire/)**

The sound of explosions stir me from a deep slumber. The bombs may be going off thousands of feet away but the blasts shake me from my dream world. Barely awake I sit up to investigate the violent action, bouncing my head off the bunk above. The “rude” awakening knocks me back down, a dry mouth from the propane heater running off and on all night reminds me where I am. Rubbing my eyes to adjust to the light, and a quick pull of the window blinds, reveals a winter wonderland. The bombs that stirred me from my fantasy world are the result of hard working ski patrollers doing their best to keep us safe from avalanches in the available side country. Comfortably nestled in my 16 foot tiny home, I am amidst the cascade mountains in Washington state. From the looks of my neighbor RV’s we have received a healthy amount of fresh snow over night. Rolling out of my bunk and placing my feet on the noticeably cold floor sends a quick signal to my brain that its going to be nice blower pow. Where are my slippers?. . . It’s 7 o clock in the morning and the chairs don’t start spinning until 9. With the resort lifts and split board trails being accessible out my front door I have plenty of time to get ready. Living in a trailer in the parking lot of a resort, you build morning routines. So much time spent by yourself allows you the freedom to do what you want, when you want. Meditation has made it into the start of my day, followed by a nutrient packed fruit smoothie. Somedays I listen to an audio book or inspiring tunes, maybe a quick stretch, and then I put on my space suit for the wild frontier. Isn’t this what we are striving for our whole lives? - Complete freedom, nobody telling us what to do or how to live. Shouldn’t we be fine tuning physical/mental health with joy, adventure, and a lust for life? I chuckle to myself as I ponder the perspective of my life, how did I get here? - 32 years old, no kids, no wife, no mortgage or salary career, living in a trailer that is smaller than some peoples closets. If you were to write this down and read it to someone, they would feel sorry for me. If they were to see my smile or feel my energy as this pervasive lust for living, they just might question the way they look at life.

Growing up in a capitalist nation where economy is god, and success is based upon the amount of things you possess, I had all the proper training to be a compliant citizen. In the West at 5 years old we are shuffled through a school system that is based more on conforming than education. It appears to be preparation for the 9-5 world with a vibrant brochure selling the restricted life of a weekend warrior. All the tv shows portraying the “happy” rich people with all their possessions, living in big mansions, surrounded by “beautiful” people, contribute to a thorough brain washing. The deep irony is when these movie stars, symbolizing the ultimate success of the american dream, often end their own lives in misery. I can’t say how this country is viewed from the outside but it seems that a lot of foreigners come here in hope of acquiring financial wealth and pursuing this illusion. Interestingly enough this nation is comprised of foreigners. We are all immigrants except for the few indigenous natives who have almost been entirely snuffed out. The trouble begins when necessities are far surpassed and endless desires are sought one after the other. The core issue is these desires are never filled and endless consumerism runs rampant. A bi product of this foolishness is a nation that suffers from severe obesity and malnutrition simultaneously. Unfortunately the PNW of the United states is a major influence in this worlds over consumption. Amazon, Microsoft, Starbucks, and Costco are just a few of the fortune 500 companies located in Seattle. A city surrounded by natural wonder, with the pacific ocean on one side and the cascade mountain range on the other. I was right on track to be another cog in the wheel, another poor sap in debt living pay check to pay check. Buying a bunch of things I didn’t need, to fit in or look good in some one else’s judgement. This is one ideal this nation whole heartedly promotes. This constant hunger for more leaves the blind consumer in debt regardless of socioeconomic status. It’s easy to get lost in this society living beyond their means. Look at our national debt for reference as to how we are taught to spend money. From this path… I slowly strayed. The mountains called and as the famous John Muir quote states; I had to go!

Hindsight is always 20 20. Looking back, I can see the friends that pulled me back into the mountains saved my life. Being a product of the NorthWest was a blessing that was hard to fully realize. Some of the greatest outsiders and heroes to exist in the snow world, come from this area. Humans that forever changed the snowboarding world were located all around me and leading lives way outside the norm. They were more like professional dirtbags than Olympians. The skills to be trained into super athletes were there, but they chose to live a life of freedom and self expression. These professionals were less about selling out and more about expressing themselves freely, on their own terms. You don’t have to be a legend to enjoy a similar lifestyle, boarding as much as you can and working as little as you have to. The locals shaped me even more so than the legends. “You work - I ride”, so the saying goes. The slogan “work to live, don’t live to work” comes up often. These people that surrounded me spent their money in a very different manner. Extravagance was a “new” used vehicle that handled the snowy roads in a supreme way, or a rig that could transform into a sleeping domain. Maybe a new gizmo for snow camping or a fancy sleeping bag that packed small and was light. Simultaneously we were becoming more self sufficient and learning how to spend money wisely. I didn’t know it at the time, but these people I like to refer to as the outsiders, were shaping me. As I became an “adult” (I put it in quotations because I think it is absolutely insane that someone being an adult is based on age and not life experience) I came to realize that most people were lost. Year after year, the older they got the more confused they seemed to be. Their connection to what mattered in life slowly dwindled as they bought into the game. Work beat them down and a diet of processed food provided them with no fuel. Coffee delivers a quick blast of energy for a long drawn out day. The ever growing list of how society tries to fill the voids will leave your head spinning. For many years I have pondered, and even now it seems, that kids have it much more figured out than adults! Youngsters are happy chasing dreams and living for the moment. The beliefs that create their realities are still uninhibited, so they are able to enjoy the little things. Snowboarding takes me back to that mental clarity. Every time I strap in, my mind grows a little more silent as the moment zooms in to capture my attention. Pushing skills to a new level can cloud the mind with fear. Making the decision to trust in your ability clears the sky and locks you in where time stands still.

The people I meet in the NW have inspired me to leap into more than just snowboard specific adventures. Every aspect of one’s life effects the other and it’s best to be well rounded. Adventures of every kind can be linked to snowboarding in one way or another. Learning how to navigate the world and trust in your life skills to get you where you need to be is one example. From Yoga, to skateboarding, even dancing, it all can help you with self expression and in turn improve the picture you paint on a board. I started the winter season going to a 10 day silent meditation retreat with photographer/best bud Jordan Ingmire. This shared wisdom solidified the lessons learned from snowboarding. The present moment is the only reality. As soon as we add thoughts or words to things, we have strayed. Our minds are trained in this society to constantly be thinking about the future or the past. Focused on likes or dislikes, we form a craving for the things we desire and try to avoid the things we dislike. So constantly we are planning for the future, or revisiting the things that have already happened. We want more of the things we like and are upset when we get what we don’t want. Both of these judgements are illusions. The images with attached emotions either no longer exist or are an interpreted creation of the future. All of our thoughts around experiences are not truly reality. They are a merely a projection of the mind which in turn creates what we believe to be reality. So those moments while ripping down a line, or riding through a technical part of the mountain, are actually creating the silent mind that brings us closer to the truest reality. Wether you are taking a conscious deep breath sitting in a cross legged position or standing on top of a glorious mountain top, you are training the mind to be aware of what is going on inside of it. Slowly bringing awareness to our daily actions muffles the constant brain chatter and creates space for the only true reality- the present moment. Any one that has been terrified by the raw elements of a mountain has lived through this mind altering experience of a silent mind.

For the last several years I was caught in a whirlwind of dreaming and creation. Desires of achieving fantasies began to develop in my mind and expanded as I shared them with others. The winters had been very active with traveling, working on video projects, and getting caught up in the go go go, do do do. This winter I set out to focus on “being” more than “doing”. Starting the season off in meditation had a huge impact on how I wanted to spend my winter and what I felt was important to focus on. I decided I was going to spend the entire winter at home in the PNW. No distant travels, no video projects, and nothing more than immersing myself in the art of snowboarding. Whether it was with my best friends, the local community, strangers, or by myself, I found room for growth in all relationships. With the climate pattern rollercoaster ride we have been locked into in the NW, it was a risky move. Travel has always been a back up plan for winters that never show up. Japan in January, Alaska in April, the interior mountains of BC , Montana, Wyoming, allow for plenty of Plan B options. With travel comes planning, and with planning comes extensive mental activity. I wanted to get rid of all the things that add to the mind game of winter. That way I could find my place in the mountains with clear thoughts and tuned senses. We are constantly searching for connection to the moment as boarders and one of the best ways to help that process is to alleviate as much mental chatter as possible. I deliberately decided to put all of my eggs in one basket and whether winter came as I desired or not, I was staying and making the best of it. Worse case scenario you can always go adventure on your split board, walk for miles and search around corners you haven’t looked past before. The stars aligned as it became one of the best winters for Washington in many years, with cold temperatures and big storms that seemed to never end. The snow just kept stacking and the energy was high in the PNW. It was a season for the soul. One of those winters where you run into all your buddies on the hiking routes or skin trails. I found myself greeting friends with big hugs and thinking “you know what. . . there are friends on a pow day.” We were riding as many of our favorite lines as we could in one day. Lines that you sometimes only ride once a year because the conditions have to be just right, were getting ridden several times a week. No video cameras, no waiting to get the shot, no worries about landing a trick or how your style was; just pure intimacy with the mountains and the people sharing them with you.

As the planet rotates around the sun the seasons will change here in the PNW. Spring time comes with longer days and stronger ultra violet rays. The rivers flow with snow melt as photosynthesis sprouts new life on the hillsides. T shirts and open vents become common on the touring trails and chair lifts, as winter pow turns to spring corn. Fresh snow can bless us all the way into May, providing up to 7 months of possible fresh snow adventures. The park rats and split boarders rejoice as their favorite season is upon them. In the same day you can lap the park with friends and in the evening tour up to soak in breathtaking views. In strong winter seasons, such as this past one, you can extend your snow season year round. The list of volcanos in the area is long and the adventures bountiful. “Variety is the spice of life”; one of my favorite expressions. Living in the PNW I can’t help but completely agree with this notion. Summer comes and the thoughts of the year ahead are born in the stillness created in the absence of daily snow obsession. Sometimes I worry about what the future holds for the PNW snow lovers. Big money is pushing hard to suck the life out of the mountains. Solace and solitude are being replaced with high speed quads and 4 star hotels. Seattle is growing and you can see the reflection of it in the traffic to all of the hills. Will we just become another destination resort? Will the dirtbag locals living in their cars at the mountain be run off by people commuting 2 hours everyday? Only time will tell. I reflect back on lessons learned in the meditation hall. Be present here in the now, and let the thoughts pass like clouds in the sky. My judgement of what is best is just a figment of my imagination. For now the mountains in the PNW are full of life, love, and soul. Explorers, adventurers, athletes, party people, weirdos, musicians, artists, and of course the city people, all share these beautiful mountains. I hope that one day you have the opportunity to visit this majestic place I call home. We can easily be considered outsiders In a world where so many equate success and happiness to financial status. Every day we strap in we are representing the importance of something greater than that. Outsider: “a person who does not belong to a particular group.” There are enough of us here in the PNW that have formed a group of our own. We are the outsiders and you are welcome to join us.

Ian’s Top Picks

[SHOP ACE](https://www.zealoptics.com/en/shop/sunglasses/lifestyle-collection/ace "SHOP ACE") [SHOP FARGO](https://www.zealoptics.com/en/shop/goggles/select-series/fargo "SHOP FARGO")

Want more? Check out the below and follow Ian’s journey this winter @eanwood.

[doctormelapples]

I want every personal

Sorry this took so long

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

erm, idk but I can list some of my favs? how about “Mr. Know-It-All” by Young The Giant, “Brain Stew” by Green Day, “Swimming Pool” by The Front Bottoms, “Tokyo Narita (Freestyle)” by Halsey and Lido, “Big Jet Plane” by Angus & Julia Stone, and “Doo Wop (That Thing)” by Lauryn Hill

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Do they have to be alive?? How about Beyonce Twin #2

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

I’m sitting right next to a bookshelf wtf. Okay the first book only had a line 12, Book 2: “…glittering sceptres. These shones so brightly September had to shade her..”

4: What do you think about most?

I see photo opprotunities when I walk? like if I’m walking past a house I see the exact angle that I would take a picture of it with and what the frame and coloring would turn out to be? does that count?

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Text or sc?? cuz idk on either tbh sc:goals text:theenks

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Clothes

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I have none, so like,,

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are beautiful, Boys are beautiful, and so is everyone else

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

lol no

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

like yesterday probs

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Strange? idk

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

When I was a child,,, marble

13: What’s your religion?

who’s that

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

being sad or taking pictures

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind absolutely

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

jesus christ

17: What was the last lie you told?

I have a headache

18: Do you believe in karma?

sort of, like maybe not the textbook definition but I do think that you get what you give to some extent

19: What does your URL mean?

listen,,, okay Doctor is because i like doctor who and melapples is a dan and phil reference, okay, i made it when i joined tumblr, I was young and unknowing, okay

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness: I’m too emotionally soft; strength: whom’st’d’ve

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Does phil count, phil counts? It’s Phil

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

almost

23: How do you vent your anger?

ahah, to the world and through tears tbh

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I used to collect izze + snapple tops, then got bored

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting, I like seeing facial expressions

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

whom?

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

It took me FOREVER to think of a sound I hate, and like i had sounds i love when my fingers hit the keys. sound I hate: Fork schreeching on a plate; sound I love: laughs, soft sounds of fingers on skin, leaves crunching as you wak in autumn, or snow in the winter, wind, papers fluttering

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I had stayed at my old school

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

well not really, but aliens absolutely, like, there is no way the universe is so fucking big, and there isn’t life outside of earth

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

My window frame; a notebook

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

somebody is making pasta downstairs

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

what kind of worst? cuz like I believe that no matter where you go you can always get something out of it. Let’s go with my racist ass school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

EAST

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

idk harry styles?

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

42?

how about: to know, be, see, and do what you want

36: Define Art.

Life

37: Do you believe in luck?

kinda like the same way I belive in karma

38: What’s the weather like right now?

It’s been rainy all day and we just had a rainbow. It’s cleared up now

39: What time is it?

1:23:09 AM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

no

41: What was the last book you read?

A graphic novel called March about John Lewis

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

yeah actually

43: Do you have any nicknames?

lila bean

44: What was the last film you saw?

Wonder Woman pretty sure

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

all of the skin on my leg was scraped off once so

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

I’ve had a beautiful butterfly land on me during a meditation session once

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

strawberry milkshakes

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

I’m pan bro

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

yes rip how fun

50: Do you believe in magic?

in my hopes and dreams

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

no, I’m really bad at holding longterm grudges but you better fucking run for at least two weeks if u piss me off

52: What is your astrological sign?

scoooorrrrrppppiiiiooooo

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i save money highkey short term and mass spend it

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A swimsuit. oh shit no wait strawberry syrup for milkshakes

55: Love or lust?

lust

56: In a relationship?

damn i wish

57: How many relationships have you had?

3

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

crying in bed all day tbh

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

my comforter that I’m sitting on lowkey has pink flowers on it

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

listen,,, fuck socks okay no

62: What’s your favourite animal?

cats homie

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

laugh at their jokes + be a pleasant person

64: Where is your best friend?

idk probably sleeping somewhere tbh

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

i don’t pay enough attention soz

66: What is your heritage?

like,,? My dad is from finland probably but otherwise i have no idea, all my family tree has is slavery so

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

fuck dude crying

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

smith

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

hell yes

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

idk i hope so

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

i like can’t really swim that well so like probably get the attention of someone who can and get the dog saved then go to work. but fuck that job tho

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

nah bro, i would try and accomplish everything i wanted, travel, be happy with family, and make friends happy, not afraid

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

bills by lunchmoney lewis

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

or not?

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust, communication, known goals

77: How can I win your heart?

idk bro its pretty easy out here a-fucking-pparently

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

yeah for sure

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Join theatre

80: What size shoes do you wear?

9.5 or 10

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

rip in pieces

82: What is your favourite word?

antidisestablishmentarianism

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

the image of the organ tbh

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

lit, tbh, rip, wild

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

star by brockhampton

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

pink rn, it was just green, i fluctuate

87: What is your current desktop picture?

a picture i took of a car mirror in a violet sunset

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump probs but only if he is right next to pence that bitch will not be president

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

why are you sad

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

FUCKING RUN DUDE CLIMB OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW FUCK THAT SHIT NO GET OUTTA MY FACE FUCK

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

elements my dude. if I had to pick which one it would be wind probs

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The half-hour where I thought I fell in love with someone before they broke up w me a week later

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

no

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

RIHANNA

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Prague 

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

probably, but not that i know of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

omg yes don’t remind me

98: Ever been on a plane?

yups a few times

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

damn y y’all listening to me?

probs something like “jesus christ just shut up and listen to each other speak without jumping to fucking conclusions and preconceived notions of what other people are like kay?”