#actual message a buddy of mine sent me.

[keo6323]

[wosoamazing]

Against All Odds

Summary: You find yourself with a career ending injury, but Beth and Viv, your guardians and Leah are there for you. Based on this request.

Warnings: Death (mentions of fact Rs parents are dead), allusions to cancer, very bad knee injury, hospitals, paramedics, passing out, one section contains talks of Leah’s endometriosis, a bit sad -> Let me know if there is anything else.

A/N: I really liked this when I first wrote it, but I don't know anymore, maybe just because I hate editing so I was projecting my feelings about editing onto my fic. But anyway I hope you like it.

You were part of the AWFC and the Lionesses, however football wasn’t the only sport you played in at a professional level, you were also a Track and Field athlete, you were a youth world champion, but not many people knew, the Soccer seemed to outshine the Athletics, so no one found out. It was getting close to the stage of having a discussion with the British Olympic Association about whether you were going to do both Football and Athletics at the olympics or whether you could only do one, and if you could only do one whether you got to make the choice or if they did. But that conversation was no longer needed. Team GB wasn’t going to be at the Olympics for Women’s Football so you only had one choice, and that was Athletics, however there wasn't really the question of whether you would qualify or not. It was a certainty now that you were going to the Olympics, considering the fact you were running sub 10.6 for 100 metres. You actually qualified for the 2020 Olympics but you were only 13, so it was decided you weren't going, even though you were faster than some of the athletes you were just too young.

You were one stride away from the finish line, you had done it, shown that even despite your age you deserved to be at the olympics, that last stride would cause you to have run sub 10.7 at the qualifiers, which was a good time, since you hadn’t trained in 6 months, due to the World Cup and England Olympic qualifiers. However that last stride went wrong, you still made it across the finish line, but something went badly wrong, a shooting tearing splitting pain went through your knee as your body collapsed onto the ground, tears were streaming out of your eyes, your surrounds were a haze, heaps and heaps of bright yellow people surround you, they were paramedics you think, they were asking you questions, but it hurt too much to process anything. Your brain was also preoccupied with the fact that you would most likely not be going to the Olympics this year, or maybe even never. You weren't dumb, you couldn't actually process what the paramedics were saying, nor had you seen your knee, but there was no way this was a simple injury, your knee felt like it had exploded, a bomb had gone off, this was a big injury, if the pain causing you to be on the verge of passing out wasn't enough to tell you this, the immediate arrival of like 10 paramedics was definitely enough to tell you something really bad had happened. Your world was literally crumbling around you, you needed football and track, you didn’t want to face the fact that you might never get to be a pro again. You thought you heard someone say something about moving you onto a stretcher and to the ambulance before you passed out.

_____

“Viv, has she sent you a message? She isn’t replying to any of mine, she should be here by now.”

“Maybe it's just run over time and so she is still racing.” Viv replied, trying to comfort Beth.

Beth and Viv were two of the three teammates who knew about your athletics. You couldn't really keep it from them, considering you did live with them, the trophies, the photos, the ‘shrines’ you had. Leah also knew, as you went to the same school and due to the schools sport buddy system she was your sport buddy, you messaged her almost daily since you were 10 and looked up to her so much, she was an inspiration to you. However, Leah never realised how much you actually did idolise her until she saw said ‘shrines’ when she came into your room the day you were setting it up, to give you a present. She looked around the room, above your desk she saw your Mum’s last olympic Jersey framed, with photos of you and her at the track surrounding it in a heart shape. There was also a single photo in the middle of the heart of you and her, you were holding a massive trophy and a huge grin was plastered on your face, but she couldn't help but notice how weak your Mum looked she was in a wheelchair, then it clicked that was the last time your Mum saw you run. You had just won your first junior athletics championships, in that photo, it was a week before your Mum died. Leah knew that because you told her one day, when she asked you which sport you would choose, you said you would forever do both. She then saw the photo from your Dad’s military honour funeral, along with his cap hung next to it, above your dresser which was placed just next to your desk, another heart surrounded it, but this time it was photos of him and his platoon wearing their Y/L/N bibs watching your races at the championships while they were deployed, a photo of him in rehab, kicking a ball to you after he lost his leg and was learning how to use to prosthetic one so he could go back to duty, the photo of your Dad’s platoon surprising you at on of your competitions just after you Dad had died on duty was also there. Between the two hearts was a family of the three of you, you were only small, it hurt her to think that was most likely one of the last family photos you had, you were just so young. She then turned to see what the third ‘shrine’ you were in the middle of making was. She saw you placing framed letters, certificates, medals, and photos in a heart shape around yet another item and photo of someone who helped you massively and inspired you, expect this time she felt her heart grow warm, it was her england debut shirt, she had signed and gifted to you, along with a photo of you mid jump into her arms, after the 2020 Euros Final, celebrating her win with her. You saw your so called shrines your three lifes, your Athletics life which was inspired by your Mum, your everyday life which you attributed to your Dad, and your Football life which was inspired by Leah.

There was also another reason Beth and Viv knew about the athletics and that was because you had no other family, and someone had to sign permission slips, and when you moved in with Beth and Viv and they become your legal guardians according to the state, meaning that they were the ones now required to sign permission slips, so they knew everything.

—

“Viv, I’m going to go call her,” “Okay,” Viv said as she saw Leah walking towards her.

“How did she go?” Leah asked Viv, “We don’t know she hasn't replied to us.” Viv said as Beth started walking back over.

“She wont answer,” “Shit” the next three minutes Beth and Viv continuously called you.

“Beth we need to go now,” “What why,” “She got hurt badly, she is in surgery currently,” “Why didn’t they call us, to get consent for surgery. Shit, it's bad, let's go.”

They rushed off from training, and drove as fast as possible to the hospital. Leah stayed to inform Jonas and finish training before she quickly found herself, driving to the hospital, knee bouncing, hoping you were semi okay.

_____

When you woke up from surgery Beth and Viv were either side of you, holding your hands in theirs. A doctor walked in shortly after you woke up, to update you on your condition.

“Split Patella. Torn MCL and meniscus, partially torn LCL. Patella ligament was torn slightly in half vertically due to the separation of the Patella. Pins in the patella, sutures in the LCL and Patella ligament, meniscus was cleaned and sutured. In the end we went with a graft to fix the MCL in hopes to have a better recovery. No one actually can figure out how it happened, but it’s lucky your didn't tear your ACL or PCL.”

“Yeah but everything else is torn or split, would prefer just an ACL”

“Sorry about that, she comes with a bit of an attitude,” Beth said, as Viv glared at you, you just glared back, you were right after all, he was making it seem like nothing, when literally everything was stuffed.

He just dismissed it and continued “You’ll be lucky to walk normally again, let alone run or play football again. And even if you do somehow ever get back to running or playing football it will never be anywhere near the professional level.”

“I want a new doctor please,” You said to him blankly

“Hey, that's not very nice” “Yeah well I’ve seen what happens when doctors don’t have hope. I don’t want this halfwit in charge of my recovery, if it was up to him he would probably just put me in a wheelchair and be done with it. People come back from injuries that seem impossible to come back from. People lose limbs and still go back to war, it’s not impossible, as long as you’re not lazy. Just someone get me a new doctor. And you can go, I can’t believe you even got to operate on me.” He scoffed and walked out. You were fuming, your breath increased, your face turned into game mode and your nostrils started to flare, Beth and Viv knew that had to do something, so they tried to comfort you.

“Hey it's okay” Beth said as she rubbed her thumb on the back of the hand she was holding. You turned to her and glared at her before yelling at her. “No its fucking not, this isn’t okay, nothing about this is okay or fair or fine. Just leave, I want to be alone.” They both slightly jumped before quickly getting up and leaving. You felt your response was a bit harsh, but it was nothing compared to how you were actually feeling in this moment.

After 5 minutes the door slid open and a body slinked into the room, and sat on a chair near the end of your bed. It was Leah. She just smiled at you before she looked down at her phone. You felt a small tear roll down your cheek, the first one since your surgery, you quickly wiped it away and sniffled, however that caught the attention of Leah, and soon your single tear turned into more tears. She didn’t say anything, you didn't know if that was because she didn't know what to say, or if it was because she knew nothing she said would help. She did however get up out of her seat and walk towards your bed. You tried to shuffle over but your leg was holding you in place, you looked at her longingly. She looked at your knee and back to you, checking if thats what was the problem, you nodded. So she ever so carefully shifted your leg as you moved and then climbed onto the bed. You immediately moved closer to her, so that you were almost on top of her, and just melted into her comfort, as she held you tight.

After a while Beth and Viv walked in. “I’m sorry” you mumbled, feeling bad for pushing them away.

“It’s okay, you’re in a lot of pain both physically and emotionally, but we want you to know we are going to be here for you every step of the way. Okay.” you nodded, Viv sat down in the chair and beth sat down in her lap.

_____

When the fourth new doctor of the day entered the room, you jumped the gun, speaking before he could speak. “If you’re going to tell me I’m never going to play again or if you are a phycologist or some shit you can go, I don't want to hear it. Untill this hospital can find me someone who isnt a fucking sissy I won’t talk to any of you, and if they cant I’ll go somewhere else, another country if I have to.”

He sat down on the ‘doctor’ stool before wheeling himself on the chair closer to your bed, he leant forward slightly, and looked you directly in the eyes before he started speaking. “Well, I’m here to tell you that my team and I can get you back to playing pro. I’m not going to lie, its not going to be easy, its going to be fucking hard, harder than anything that has ever happened to you, everything combined. But we have done some research on you and had some conversations to people and we believe you can do this, we believe you are the right type of person, that you have the right support system and most of all have the determination, to not only now prove that dumb doctor wrong, but to show the universe that you won't break, nothing they throw at you, will cause you to break. So what do you say?”

You nodded slowly, looking at him before looking at Beth and Viv, almost seeking permission or maybe just reassurance, they both smiled and nodded at you, Leah squeezed your upper arm with the hand she had wrapped around your shoulders. You turn back to the doctor.

“I think like you,” “so is that a yes” “yes”

_____

He wasnt wrong, this was fucking hard, you were in agony, your face was scrunched up as tears streamed down from the first minute of rehab. You were told that you could stop if you needed to, but you weren't going to, you wanted to keep going, you needed to keep going, you needed to get back to playing.

Beth had been watching your first intensive rehab session from the window along with Viv and Leah. 10 minutes into the session she couldn't bear to watch, she walked away from the window before she broke down, she couldn't bear to see you in such agony. She was second guessing her choices, maybe you were pushing yourself too far, maybe they shouldn’t have signed the consent forms, after all you were only 15. Viv and Leah followed her, Viv wrapped her arms around her and tried to comfort her. 

“Maybe we take away the consent forms, she shouldn't be doing this.” Beth said, as she started to calm down slightly.

“No you fucking wont. She needs this, you may not entirely understand but she does, this is her absolute world. You don't get it.” Leah snapped back at her.

“Oh. So I don't understand what it's like to have a serious injury that takes you away from the thing you like doing, and I don't understand what it's like to lose a parent.”

“That's not what I mean Beth, and you know that.”

“Oh so what do you mean then.” Beth replied snarkily.

“You don’t understand the uncertainty of whether you will get to play or not, you knew you were going to come back, she doesn’t, she won't ever know until she gets there. You don't get what it means to know you are going to miss out on something that is 100% a given, well something that was 100% a given. She said to me when she was 10, that she was going to win an olympic record for her Mum, and that is something that was almost guaranteed to happen this year, she was going to become the youngest person to hold an 100 metre olympic record for her Mum and now she might never win an olympic record let alone go to an olympics. I was going to captain my country in a world cup that we had a very good chance at winning and that was taken away from me, that certainty, the thing that shows who we are and what we have strove for just gets taken away from us. And yes you did miss out on the world cup too beth, but this is different. Your injury meant something different with your Mum too. Your injury gave you time with your Mum. Her injury is taking her away from her Mum.”

Beth just nodded at Leah, not knowing what to reply, Leah was right, but it didn't make seeing you like that any better. Leah walked away and opened the door, joining you in rehab, she sat on the side of your good leg, speaking encouraging words to you the whole. Which admittedly did help.

_____

Beth and Viv came to some of your rehab sessions, but they struggled watching, they couldn't deal with they were the reason you were in pain, it's what you wanted to do, but if they didn't sign the consent forms you wouldn't be in this much pain, but they knew deep down this is what was best.

Leah was there for you every rehab session she could be, she was in a different position, she understood how Beth and Viv felt and would feel the same if she was in that position, but she wasn’t. She felt differently about this because she was in that position and so she was determined to be your constant through this. She was so insistent on that, that when she had an endo flare-up really bad you had to instruct her to stay home, she tried using the excuse that because you were in pain and still doing rehab she should too, you told her that was dumb, and you had to be in pain to get better, she needed to rest to get better. The main reason was that the past few days you had started working on walking without assistance, and if you passed the tests today you would be able to, well more like strongly encouraged too, walk without assistance in small intervals, it would only be max 30 mins a day in total currently but it was something. But you didn't want Leah to know this. You wanted to surprise everyone.

You did exactly that in their next training session.

“Are you sure about this?” Viv asked you concerned

“Yes, are they all in there?” you replied.

“Yeah Jonas said we had a meeting to be there by 8:10, we messaged and said sorry we will be 5 minutes late.” Beth replied and you nodded

You crutched your way into the centre and gave Viv your crutches just as you neared the dining room entrance, Beth went ahead of you as you walked, albeit very slowly, behind her into the dining room. All heads turned to you, no one expected you to be there, you hadn’t had a day off from rehab since you started, and as you were doing external rehab you hadn’t seen much of the girls.

“Oh we thought you were Jonas, do you know where he is?” Kim asked.

“Yeah he is just behind u-” “Wait Viv, why are you holding crutches that are definitely not your size” Steph asked.

“Holy fuck kid, you’re walking,” Katie said when she finally realised that you were walking, once everyone realised that you got your crutches back from Viv, standing without your crutches was painful, everyone came up and hugged you and congratulated you, except for one person, the one person that you really wanted to surprise. You continued looking around the room thinking you just missed her or something but your search was interrupted by a hand on your shoulder, “She isn't in here kid, she is with the medics. I can take you to visit her if you want.” Lia whispered in your ear, you nodded your head.

“Beth, Viv, I’m just going to take Y/N/N to see Leah,” Lia told them, they nodded their heads.

“Leah, I have someone who would like to see you,” Leah chimed through the door, 

“What Lia, you can't say that about yourself,” “No, it's not me who would like to see you, it’s someone else” and with that Lia opened the door for you and you walked into the room cautiously, Lia followed behind you holding your crutches.

“OMG Y/N/N you're walking” you just grinned and nodded at her, she went to reach out to you for a hug but before she could she winced in pain and retracted into a ball. 

“Le, I think you need to go home, I told you, you shouldn’t have come today,” Lia said as she walked to her side, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“Can Y/N come?” Leah asked timidly, “I’ll check with Beth and Viv first but yes.” Both you and Leah perked up at that

–

You entered the house a while after Lia and Leah, considering you had to get up the stairs which wasn’t the easiest task to do with crutches, but you managed it. You walked into the living room, and saw a photo, a photo you had hanging on your wall, it was bigger on this wall though, and sat next to what you could only assume was Leah’s Euro Final Jersey framed and her medal. You thought that it was sweet she had hung that photo of you up. You decided to sit on the couch and wait for Lia or Leah to come back out and talk to you, however you quickly fell asleep. You had basically been sleeping, eating or rehabbing since your injury so it wasnt out of the ordinary. Lia came out to check on you but found you asleep, so she decided to leave you asleep.

_____

You were lying in your bed, when Beth and Viv returned from their game, you were now getting a day off rehab every week, to slightly allow your body to rest. You had begged your rehab team to let you go to the game, but they said no, but they did mention maybe next week, so you were determined for that to happen. But currently you were in your bed tearing up at the thought of playing football, you were so determined to just get back you had forgotten about why you wanted to get back to it so much, the family feeling, the feeling once you scored a goal, the feeling of winning with some of the closest people in your life, the feeling of being free, having nothing else on your mind other than the game. You were in sobs by the time Beth and Viv had opened your door.

“Oh Baby, what’s wrong?” Beth asked as she went to sit beside you on the bed. 

“I-I’m s-so-sorry,” you cried out, Beth pulled you into her side, wrapping her arms around you, you buried your head in her chest. Viv walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in next to you, before she started to rub your back.

“There is nothing to be sorry about, it's okay to cry, what you’re going through isn’t something small, and isn’t something easy.” Beth reassured you.

“No. I’m sorry for yelling at you the first day in the hospital, and for being mean to you both when you’re just trying to help me, and that you have to look after me.”

“It’s okay, we’re here for you Kleintje, this injury hasn’t been easy and won’t be, so if you need to get mad at us sometimes that is okay. And we will always look after you, we love you, we wouldn’t want to do anything else than help you when you’re sick or injured.” Viv replied.

“But you shouldn’t have to look after me, it's not your fault I dont have parents.” Beth was surprised it took this long for the emotions of your parents not being able to look after you to hit, she felt it while she was recovering from her ACL and she didn’t have her Mum. The date also hadn’t slipped her mind for the entire day. She felt as though this conversation, this set of emotions, would be something you would prefer to have with just Beth, someone who understood in what you felt, she was older so it was easier on her in some way, but it doesn't make it hurt any less, it just meant she understood what was happening to her Mum where you didn’t. She looked up to Viv, and gave her a soft, sad, warm smile. Viv picked up on what Beth was silently communicating. Beth had a small tear roll down her face before she looked up at the roof, Viv wiped the tear away and kissed her quickly before she got up and headed to the door.

“I’m just going to have a shower, let me know if you need anything.” Viv said, she really didn;t want to leave you two but knew she needed to.

“Thank you,” you mumbled before she shut the door, she knew that it wasn't just for helping you, but for leaving, even though it went against everything in her being.

“I-I’m sorry,” “It’s okay Vivy understands. Can you sit up for me quickly?” You did as Beth said, she sat more upright resting her back against the pillows on the headboard, before pulling you onto her lap, you sat parallel to the headboard leaning your side into her, resting your head against her shoulder. You pulled your good leg into a ball, trying to feel safe. Beth wrapped her arms around you tightly, and started slightly rocking side to side. She kissed your forehead before she started talking again. 

“Y/N, it's okay to be upset, every date is just as important as the other. Today means something, every date means something. Today marks the start, and that’s just as important as the end.”

“It’s hard Beth.”

“I know it is, but you’ve got this, I’m here with you, I’m here for you, I understand, you never have to explain anything to me, I get it, but just know that she loves you, and she would be incredibly proud of you.” You felt a drop of water hit your shoulder, Beth was crying now too.

“I-I love y-you, th-thank you.” She nodded, you knew she wouldn’t be able to talk, you were struggling to talk, your tears choking back your words. She unwrapped the arm that was in front of you and you saw her moving her hand towards yours, you quickly grabbed it and held onto it tightly. You sat there soaking up Beth’s comfort, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

_____

Commonwealth Games 2026

“We’re here trackside with Y/F/N Y/L/N who at just 17 years old has broken 4 records today, 3 officially and one unofficially. She has just finished her first competitive 100m back since her career ending injury, with an absolutely insane time of 10.45. Giving her a second gold medal of the day.”

“An absolute masterclass out there Y/N/N, how do you feel?”

“Honestly amazing. On a high. I-I can’t believe it. Let alone find the words to express it” you said puffing.

“How’s the knee feeling? Recovery mustn’t have been easy.”

“Yeah no, the knee is feeling great, recovery was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I had some fantastic people surrounding me and helping me and guiding me through it all. And I just wanted to give a massive thank you to Tim and his team. Without their belief, fantastic skill set and unbelievable knowledge I probably wouldn't even be here competing today, let alone standing here with a gold medal. But also to all my teammates, and to my parents who made me who I am, I love you both.”

[taeiun]

just a little sick with love.

synopsis: it spills out too fast; hard to contain this blurted confession about you (in other words, txt when asked about you during an interview)

who: txt's choi line x gn!reader

categories: a little smth extra fluffy, interview style scenarios

warnings: might be ooc here? reader is referred to as "pretty" and "beautiful" a few times (not in a physical appearance context really), love and babe and jagiya are used as petnames, use of "yn" in the fic, mentions of food and drinks

word count: 0.9k

interviewer: ...but, while we’re on the topic of romance, i’ve heard through the grapevine that you’re currently in a relationship. now, i’m just dying to know, and i’m sure the viewers are too, about who you’ve been seeing so, what can you tell us about them?

✧ YEONJUN !

yeonjun: well to start, they’re the love of my life. [he laughs and runs a hand through his hair with a hum] they understand me in ways no one else would, not even the other members. i can be choi yeonjun with them, you know? not just an idol on stage, not just yeonjun of tomorrow x together. being with them… it’s like walking into a cold room after being out in the sun all day. 

interviewer: aw, that’s sweet! how did you get to meet them? 

yeonjun: i spilt my drink on them. [he smiles sheepishly] i was in a rush and wasn’t looking where i was going. we bumped into each other and i ruined their shirt. i offered to pay for a new one but the thing about yn is that they’re stubborn. they refused so i asked if could take them out lunch instead. things kind of went from there.

yeonjun: now, they send me tiktoks and reels that remind them of me when we’re away on tour. they surprise me with roses after a show win and always welcome me with a smile, no matter how tired they are. yn is the best thing that’s happened to me and i can’t see myself without them. 

interviewer: wow sounds like i might need to sweep them off their feet for myself! [the interviewer laughs]

yeonjun: [he lets out a tense chuckle that ends in a sigh] ah… yeah no, tough luck buddy. they’re mine and always will be.

✧ SOOBIN !

soobin: hmm [he takes a moment to choose his words carefully] where do i begin? [the interviewers laughs] yn is my other half. i don’t really know how else to explain it other than that. they’re effortlessly kind and the nicest person i’ve ever met. they never fail to cheer me up after a long day and are so understanding of my needs. sometimes i think they know me better than i know myself. [he laughs]

interviewer: when did you know they were the one?

soobin: i think i knew we were going to work out for sure when the group and i first went on tour. yn took care of odi for me and sent me video updates. they don’t like recording their voice so i asked them why they sent videos instead of pictures and messages. they replied, “because i know you can’t sleep soundly without hearing my voice, soobin.” i was already in love before then but i think that only grew after hearing those words. 

interviewer: if you had to pick between your partner and your career, which would you choose?

soobin: i think that’s an unrealistic question to ask. yn made it clear that they’d never make me pick between our relationship and my idol life. they said i deserved to be happy, to receive the good things in life. for the longest time, i thought i could only have one or the other, a relationship or a successful career, and it wasn’t until i met them that i realized those things could coexist. they’re my biggest supporter and i couldn’t be more grateful for that.

✧ BEOMGYU !

beomgyu: oh, y/nnie! [he visibly brightens] it’s crazy. even though we’ve been dating for a while now, sometimes i wake up and i’m like [beep]... i’m actually dating them. they’re so sweet to me. i’m starting to get cavities from just how kind they are. [he and the interviewer laugh]

interviewer: why them? what is it about your partner that caught your eye?

beomgyu: oh it had to have been their smile. they have the prettiest smile i’ve ever seen and their eyes crinkle in the corners when they do. their laugh is the most beautiful thing i’ve heard. i’d play it on loop twenty four seven if i could. their happiness is infectious. i’ll let you in on a little secret [he leans in, forearms resting on his thighs as he moves to fake whisper to the interviewer] sometimes, they’ll dance and sing around the kitchen when they think im not watching. [he laughs, leaning back in his seat] they probably have way more blackmail on me though. 

interviewer: would you say you’re happy?

beomgyu: i’m the happiest i’ve ever been. yn… they make everything i do worth it. i don’t know what i’d do without them. i wish they could see themselves through my own eyes because i think they’re the most stunning and beautiful, in every meaning of that word, person on the planet.

bonus:

interviewer: is there anything you’d like to say to your partner back home?

yeonjun: hey, babe! i hope you haven’t forgotten about our one year anniversary coming up. [he says in a teasing voice] you better be taking care of yourself properly while i’ve been gone. [he smiles warmly] i miss you. tour is almost done, love. i’ll be seeing you very soon. 

soobin: i hope you’re doing well, love. you better be asleep when this program is airing and i don’t want to see a single text message from you until it’s morning in your time zone. you can get more work done when you’re well-rested. [he smiles] just a little longer, dear. i’ll be home soon.

beomgyu: yn! i can’t wait to see you again, jagiya. there’s so much to tell you and i miss stealing the blanket from you when we sleep. [his expression drops to a serious, but playful one] i’m cashing in that cuddling coupon you gave me for my birthday last year when i get back and expect top tier service.

^ . _ . ^ !? hehe was inspired by a couple cute insta reels that came up on my for you. next txt post will be for ot5 hopefully as long as i have the time

© taeiun 2023. all rights reserved. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim any of my writing as yours.

[hollis-art]

Your taste in fics seems amazing. For the life of me I can't find any star trek fanfictions. Care to share some of your favorites? I would love to hear it :3

heck yeah! sure!

I always save the ones I really like right after I read them, but I can't seem to find the DaForge one I was talking about.

The descriptions I will put after the recs are how I described them to remind myself what they were about (I don't think they help though, because I can't remember them that well,,,) Either way, I'm sure the actual description of the fics are better than the ones I put !!

Data/Geordi:

Flowers- by astraa (hauntedpunk) General data is trying to understand his emotions, he grows flowers and he talks to spot

no emotion that's worth having- orcamermaid Teen and Up data is trying to understand his emotions and how love works. geordi is helping (REALLY CUTE)

every dream i have is sweeter- orcamermaid General, Community (TV) crossover TROY AND ABED GEORDI AND DATA AU???? WHAT! ITS SO CUTE SO GOOD HKJDSAHGDSKJGHDSKJ THEMMMMM

Expectation- justabrain General geordi and data's relationship seen by outsiders, very cute, wedding at the end

all the everything that ever was- squilf Teen and Up picard and Q are soulmates, riker was told not to tell anyone about it (he failed) data and la forge are soulmates too !!! in the background but its still there

Garak/Bashir:

pouring just a hint- susiecarter Teen and Up garak always drinks from bashir's cup before giving it to him, and bashir assumed it was just a quirk of his, but it is actually a cardassian sign of love and trust :)

The 50/50 Consensus- TheoMiller General julian notices that garak is lonlier and stuff is too bright for him so that all gets changed :)

Designs and Alterations- AuroraNova, ConceptaDecency Teen and Up garak has been giving julian coupons, it took a while for him to realize that no one else has been getting them

Balloon Buddies- almaasi General garak and bashir get turned into animals, very silly

The Cupid Computer- almaasi Teen and Up bashir is feeling lonely, so he took a quiz that takes up personal information to show you who your best match/soulmate is

Tell Me You Love Me (Or Tell Me a Lie)- almaasi Teen and Up garak gets a message that he's due to be sent home, (to die, literally or symolically) so he tells jullian his deepest secrets as tradition

Quark/Odo:

your accent mixing with mine- spacebubble Teen and Up the universal language translator is down, odo realizes that quark has his accent when pronouncing words. they kiss

More Forsaken Than Usual- NervousAsexual General instead of being stuck in the elevator with lwaxana troi, odo is stuck with quark

Breathe- Paratale General odo is upset, quark helps him learn how to cry

play it again- nepetrel Teen and Up ((this one is better without knowing the twist, but this involves time travel and kissing :) ))

Conflicts with Interest- katiemariie Teen and Up quark and odo bicker. they're in an established relationship, im putting this here because i really like the fluidity they gave to odo

put down your sword and crown- spacebubble Teen and Up quark is drunk so odo tries to figure out why

Spock/Kirk:

Ten Things I (Love) About You- ItinerantAvthor General this is based on a merther fic of the same premise. spock accidently finds a list that kirk made about him, but there is a space torn out of the top. "10 things i ___e about spock". spock thinks that the logical conclusion is that the word is 'hate'. he proceeds to try his best to not do any of the things listed :) this is the fic that got me into star trek, actually

The prominence of a simple word- Exploding_Space General kirk just keeps calling spock 'sweetheart'

Science Blues- museaway Teen and Up mccoy and spock body swap on accident. they don't tell kirk.

Textual Beginnings- iknewaman Teen and Up wrong number fic!!! Academy era!! kirk finds spock's number on the bathroom wall and decides to text it, its really cute

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves- Se7en_devils Teen and Up spock goes to a cafe that kirk works at, kirk keeps flirting with him and using words of different dialects to do it because he learned that spock is a language professor. very adorable

Letters From Across the Universe- Starlighter_Varda General spock and kirk are pen pals from across the universe. temporary character death (sorta) cried over this, very good. there's a cat named leonard, love him

Something Smart to Do- kianspo Mature (i don't remember what's mature about it. i don't think it was anything bad, if it was, i wouldn't have saved it, or i would've made a note of it) all of the times kirk and spock are 'married' for a mission. very adorable

Miscommunication- sinestrated Teen and Up kirk gets his brain all goofed up, making him call people by whatever nickname he thinks of them by. he tries to avoid spock, knowing full well the word was going to be something sweet (it was)

Pirates, Spies, and Bedtime Stories- lallyloo General spock and kirk get into a transporter accident that turns them 5 years old. mccoy takes care of them

ok i think that's all of the ones I have written down!! (for now) i hope this helps!! :) they're all ship fics because i honestly find star trek kind of boring if you don't watch it for them,,,

[we-are-inevitable]

hollywood au + flowershop/tattoo artist au ? - asper

oh my fuck. oh my fuck

ty for the ask!! @loving-jack-kelly

***

“Charlie!”

A distant thud, and then: “What the fuck are you yelling for? It’s eight in the morning, oh my God.”

Jack only feels a little bit sorry for him. He should probably feel worse; today is Charlie’s only day off this week, having picked up an extra day at the floral shop he works at, but this— it’s important, truly. “Just— Just hurry up and get in here, man, this is— I— Holy fuck.”

“Oh, yeah, of course, make the disabled guy walk to you instead of come to him. Perfect logic there,” Charlie calls out, his voice getting closer and closer with each word, soon emerging from the small hallway in their shared apartment. “What are you freakin’ out over this time?” He says as he rests his cane against the arm of the couch, plopping down and swinging his bad leg across Jack’s lap.

Instead of replying, Jack just keeps staring down at his phone. Staring at the new notifications. Staring at something that has to be a dream. Right? Because, if this is real— if these notifications are actually there, if Charlie sees them too— then this is going to be fucking insane. This is going to completely change his career.

His hands shake, just barely, as he passes Charlie the phone. “Look. Those— Those ain’t fake. Right? Is that a- a parody account or somethin’?”

Charlie stares at the screen for a few moments, takes it in, and says: “Holy… fuck.”

Instagram: davidjacobs started following you.

You have one unread message from davidjacobs.

“I haven’t even looked at the message yet,” Jack says after a moment, eyes wide. “He, like— that’s him? Like, actually—?”

“His account has the blue check mark and everything,” Charlie says in a rushed voice, and Jack watches him scroll through the Instagram feed after clicking on the account. “This— Look, he just posted photos yesterday from a shoot with Prada. Fucking Prada, Jack, that’s— that’s huge! And this one, he’s on Vanity Fair, and—“

“Give me that,” Jack says, reaching over and ripping his phone out of Charlie’s hands. “Did you look at the—?”

“No, no, I didn’t,” Charlie cuts in, leaning closer to look over Jack’s shoulder. “Open it! Come on, don’t be chicken shit.”

“Will you shut the fuck up and let me think?”

“Will you shut the fuck up and let me see the DM?”

Jack groans, then clicks on the messages tab. There it is, right there: David Jacobs, requesting to DM him. Jack can’t exactly believe it. David Jacobs, the man who won an Oscar just over a week ago, has messaged him. David Jacobs, the hottest man alive, pop culture’s current golden boy, Jack’s biggest celebrity crush, has messaged him.

He takes a deep breath and opens the DM.

davidjacobs: Hi, Jack! I’m looking to get a tattoo soon, and a buddy of mine sent me your page. Your work is incredible, and your style is exactly what I am looking for. I’d love to book you for a session if you have anything available. I’ll be in Manhattan for a week starting on the 27th before heading back to LA; do you have any availability? If not, I’d love for you to shoot me a message when your bookings open up. Thanks. DJ xx

“Oh my God,” Charlie blurts out, putting a hand on Jac’s shoulder. “Oh my fucking God, David Jacobs wants you to tattoo him! Holy— Do you know what this means?!”

“I— I have to open shop on a Tuesday,” Jack says, almost in a dreamlike state. “I’m fully booked for the next, like, month, but I— I can open shop on a Tuesday, and have him come in, and we can- I don’t know, it would be worth it? He’d tip really fuckin’ well, and—“

“He’s willing to wait for you,” Charlie interrupts. “Holy shit. You’re tattooing an Oscar winner.”

“I’m tattooing an Oscar winner,” Jack repeats, nodding his head.

It slowly starts to sink in. David Jacobs, an Oscar winner, a twenty-three year old with 58.9 million Instagram followers, who’s face is on every ad in the country, Hollywood’s newest heartthrob, wants a tattoo from Jack Kelly. Jack Kelly, whose shop isn’t even that well known. He has about five thousand followers on his personal page, and even less on his shop’s page. He only employs two other artists- a guy named Finch and another named Spot- because he can’t afford a larger space for the shop, and he’s been trying so hard to grow their followings and promote his art, his dream, and now…

Jack takes one look at Charlie, and says, “I think I’m going to throw up.”

And an hour later, David Jacobs’ name is on his books.

[maryellencarter]

okay, this may not be terribly coherent, but i think if anyone in the fandom still follows me, it's important for them to know.

earlier this summer, in addition to my wonderful partner of 6 years @camshaft22 , i agreed to date @johnhawkens , my gaming buddy. i knew he'd had some trouble with alcoholism previously, but he swore he was sober now. after losing my job, i moved up here so we could try to get disability and housing together, because arizona was absolutely horrendous for being homeless and i was not doing that a third time. the social services in this state are indeed much better. however, he had a lot of trouble with various applications falling through, crossed communications, and so forth. after three months in a group halfway house, they couldn't keep him any longer but he had nowhere else to go, so he wound up moving back in with his folks, who did not want him there but were prepared to tolerate him if he kept working hard on his housing.

on friday, november 10, i'm trying to be precise in my dates as far as i've been able to figure out, he got like four different pieces of bad news at once. he dug out some stashed liquor he'd hidden in his room about six months previous (before the halfway house or anything), got drunk, hid the bottle, forgot he hid the bottle, woke up and couldn't find it, assumed his folks had rifled through his stuff while he was asleep, and confronted them about hiding the bottle. this did not go well.

(he's always told me his folks are abusive, and i haven't questioned it too hard as mine definitely were, but i really have to wonder how much is... well, for example, do they actually go through his stuff when he's asleep or does he merely get confused and think they did?)

saturday and sunday, the 11th and 12th, were rough. i comforted him as much as i could, offered to drive up and get him, offered to help with his paperwork, talk to his case managers, whatever. on saturday he told me his father was insisting on seeing his paypal in order to find out if he had bought alcohol, and therefore sent me all the money in it to hold while he deleted the entire account to remove the history. he said he didn't want to get scolded for "unnecessary" purchases like games, which, sure, fine, my folks were like that, but it does mean he can't prove to anybody he *didn't* buy alcohol. (he's set it back up with the same email now.)

on sunday night, the 12th, he went radio silent, except for one DM to me about half past one on monday morning, which as far as i could find out was the last anyone had heard from him. i gave it a couple days, poking him on discord, texting him, calling him, and finally on tuesday evening, the 14th, i started messaging everyone i knew who talked to him, asking if they'd heard anything. nobody had.

on wednesday, i was basically assuming he'd killed himself and i'd missed my chance early monday morning to talk him down. i started looking up obituaries. i started talking about memories of him with his friends, at least the ones i'm reasonably close to myself. and i started to find out that his versions of some stories he'd told me were... weirdly different, from the ways the other people in the same stories remembered them. the other people's versions often seemed more in character to everyone i thought i knew.

we also found out that some of the times he'd messaged us for money lined up weirdly with times he'd claimed to have "drug interactions" making him act strange, and times he'd asked me for a lift. furthermore, i'd recently found out that his free phone "through insurance" was actually a lifeline program phone, which is all income-based through the government, so the time he'd told several of us that he needed a one-time payment to be allowed to keep it... did not fit with how i know the lifeline program actually works, especially since his carrier is verizon-owned and i have the entire verizon internal policy page on lifeline right up here in my damn photographic memory. so we sort of found ourselves edging toward "we hate to disbelieve our friend but we're having trouble making the puzzle pieces fit into the shape he wants".

on wednesday night he messaged me to let me know he was alive. hadn't eaten, hadn't slept, had just been existing in a depression spiral. which, okay, yeah, i've been there. we didn't talk much then because it was my bedtime and honestly i crashed hard from the relief of knowing he was alive.

on thursday, i didn't hear from him. in the evening i called him, and he sounded horrible, couldn't put more than two words together at a time. He told me he'd been having "waking nightmares", and at the time, I was like yeah, that happens to me when I'm off my CPAP, I get so sleep deprived I hallucinate and can't actually fall asleep, it's a problem. I told him he had to get to a hospital, preferably the one near me so I could visit, and he agreed to talk to his folks about it in the morning.

In the morning, we coordinated, his mom and I exchanged numbers, and they agreed to drive him down to the hospital. His mom sounded super happy that he had someone as committed as me who'd be able to give him the support he needed. I met them at the hospital that afternoon -- traffic was absolutely horrendous, so they had to head back home immediately, but they were happy to leave John in my hands, and he indicated he'd rather have me handle it than them as well.

John used to be a 911 dispatcher, so he does at least know that you fucking tell the medics what you've been drinking. Which it seems is why he didn't want his folks around for his intake, because that's when he dropped the bombshell that after running out of liquor made for drinking, he'd continued with isopropyl alcohol, better known as rubbing alcohol.

This hospital has a unique setup where if you're at the ER for psych issues, they don't necessarily whole-ass admit you to the psych ward, they have these little overnight "pods" where you can spend the night and they can assess you. So once John was checked in, I spent a few hours cuddling with him and chatting.

I got his meds list (and eventually found out that combining his particular meds with alcohol will cause hallucinations, hence the "waking nightmares"). He told me enough about the disgusting taste of the rubbing alcohol and how difficult it was to choke down enough to get a buzz off it, that I definitely believe he had been drinking it, although his breathalyzer came back zero so probably not as recently as he thought he had. He also told me that at some point, my best guess is Thursday, he got back in touch with @dukeswonderousmenagerie who let him know that AO3's oxfordRoulette had posted a new Jiglup oneshot; John attempted to read the oneshot, found that his reading comprehension was badly impaired, decided *getting drunk would help*, and managed to down enough rubbing alcohol to get a buzz for about 10-30 minutes (his time sense is also utterly fucked but I can't judge anyone for that), after vomiting it up multiple times.

After leaving the hospital so John could get a night's sleep, I talked the matter over with Leia. I told her the hospital would almost certainly only hold him overnight, especially since he'd told them he didn't have a plan to kill himself. ("He doesn't *think* he has a plan, but if he goes back home he will die," I said.) She agreed that I needed to fight with the hospital doctors to refer him to rehab, or however that works. My bunkmate here at the shelter, who used to be a hospice nurse, told me exactly who at the hospital I should make my case to, but warned me it would be a waiting game.

I hoped to get to the hospital on Saturday morning, the 18th, before they discharged him, and go directly to the doctors. I did not manage this; by the time I got there, John was already sitting right by the elevators and had called his folks for pickup. (He insists that he called me first but couldn't get through, and being a cell phone professional I know I can't quite disprove it, but I sure didn't have any missed calls. I had his number set to ring even when my phone is silenced, too.)

I asked John to let me talk to the doctors to refer him to rehab, a sober house, *anything* but going back to a place where he was already depressed enough to drink rubbing alcohol. He flat-out refused. He told me rehab was the worst experience of his life, and I listened closely while he rambled about it and did not manage to communicate any other reason to me except "I couldn't drink". He insisted he absolutely had to be somewhere he could "get out and about". (He also admitted he'd been able to get an Uber order of alcohol while he was at his halfway house, although he insists that was before I was up here and nothing to do with any of the times he asked me for money or -- God forgive me -- the time I ran a fundraiser for him.)

So he went back north with his folks. I talked to Leia about the conversation I'd had with him, and she was like "I know he doesn't want them to know but we have got to tell his folks to dump out the rubbing alcohol, for his own safety", and I was like "I just wish I knew if that was the right choice" and she was like "I'll do it and take full responsibility, blame me". So that's what we did. Leia texted his mom, his mom told him "we cannot be the support you need, get out of here and call 911 or a rehab".

And John called me, demanded I lie and say it was all a misunderstanding, insisted that if he has to go to rehab or any locked-down living situation where he can't get liquor he will just die sooner. I conferenced Leia into the call, following the plan.

Now, you have to know that Leia does not lie. Ever. Ever ever. I don't think she has in her entire adult life, or something like that. It's her one rule of morality. I absolutely expected her to laugh in his face, "fuck no I will not lie for you, listen to yourself, you have to get it together, man".

Instead, she folded. I did not realize she was so traumatized from the last much worse time I was on the streets, back in 2018, that she couldn't make herself be responsible for someone else being put out on the streets.

I told him, "She doesn't lie, man. Ever." He begged and pleaded and wheedled and demanded, and... She agreed to lie for him. She went -- scary, so scary it wasn't even sexy, scarier than Keith Silverstein Lupin at his darkest, she threatened him that if he ever drinks again he will die slowly and painfully, but he didn't take any of it seriously, which is possible even stupider than drinking isopropyl alcohol.

But anyway, she told John's mom it was all a misunderstanding. She's the worst liar ever, she sounded like she was reading a script against her will, but her normal affect is so autistically flat anyway that Mama Hawkens (this is not her real name) bought it. I did make John convince her to put the isopropyl alcohol in his parents' bathroom past a gauntlet of security cameras, anyway, but he's already bragged to me in the past that he knows how to dodge or circumvent security cameras.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but his mom was right to want to throw him out. Me, I'm saying this. But it was her only possible remaining bit of leverage to try to get him to seek help. And it didn't work, because of me, because I wasn't strong enough to tell him no myself, because I put Leia on the spot.

If he had asked for help, if he'd been "my folks are throwing me out and I have no ride, come up here and get me to a rehab", I would have done it, even if it'd taken all night and had lost me my bed at the shelter. But he didn't. He doesn't want help. He wants enabling. He'd rather be somewhere he can drink, even if he's in fear of his life (I don't know any longer how accurately).

It took me some time to figure out how to break up with him. I've never gone through a breakup before. But if he can and will mess with *Leia's* head that severely, he is not a safe man to talk to, for me or anyone. He will make you sympathize and take his side. He will suck all the money out of you that he can and drink it away. And eventually, someday, he will die.

I told Mama Hawkens "I still want to hear about any major developments with him, if you'd be willing to text me." I told John, "Don't kid yourself that this means I'd ever take you back. I want to know when you die, so your remaining friends can be spared the pain of not knowing."

*shrugs* I don't know how to end this post. Feel free to ask me any questions. I may be slow to answer. I... I loved the man I thought he was. We were going to make a life together. I'm still crying, grieving. I've lost both my Jigen buddies in about six months flat. But I can't be with someone who can or will even *think* of demanding that Leia lie for them. I know I can't even talk to him again or he'll get right back under my skin. I'm a mess, but I just want my side of the story out there, for when his next poor deceived enabler starts trying to figure out the truth.

edit: I JUST FOUND OUT HE WAS ALREADY DATING SOMEONE ELSE ONLINE WHEN HE PROPOSITIONED ME

wow i guess i have a whole story about my crazy ex now huh *yikesarooni*

[ordinaryschmuck]

I couldn't make it to Friday. I just missed you all so much. I also missed talking with a few friends and sharing opinions.

Like, I just read 10 comics from a Wonder Woman run from the 80s that's honestly pretty good. There's a lot of great panels and pages that I would loved to share and such.

I also recently watched Delicious in Dungeon, as per request from a friend of mine. My favorite is Laios. I'm not one to point out characters who are "autistic coded" like my fellow neordivergents, but I am one to look at characters, point at them, and go, "I'm just like that" when looking at them. I felt that way with Abed Nadir, who I still say is one of the best mirror image I've felt when looking at a character. And while I'm sure Laios isn't actually autistic, to me he is. And given that non autistic people try to tell me that The Good Doctor and Sheldon are good representations of autism, at least let me have Abed and Laios.

I've also made great leeway into my Doctor Who review, almost finishing The First Doctor's run. Though, I very much miss Ian, Barbara, and even Vicki. Screw Steven especially. And Dodo...partially.

And I have one DCEU movie left before finishing this first part of this DCEU retrospective I'm working on. Sidenote, you're going to see real quick why I don't talk about movies and shows that I hate for long periods of time. You would NOT like me when I'm angry.

While I was gone, I also missed some creators on Tumblr who's art and posts made my day. You have no idea how boring a lunch break is when you don't have an endless amount of MoringMark comics to scroll through.

So, yeah, I couldn't be kept away for long...but I am going to start limiting my use on Tumblr. At least, with how much I scroll through it. I don't want another breakdown like i had last Friday and I'm going to limit what I see on here and stay off of Twitter especially. Shit gets WAY more intense on their, especially the shaming. I voiced how heavy my heart felt with everything going on in the world, and I was met with some understanding and care. If I voiced it on Twitter, I'd likely get people calling me selfish and that I don't deserve a break. So...yeah, no more Twitter for at least a month.

But on here? I'm sticking around. Just in a way that I feel more comfortable. Maybe in the future, I'll be comfortable scrolling again, but until then, it's limited Tumblr time.

Thank you all for being understanding, thanks to those who sent kind words and messages, and thanks to one in particular for helping me a lot more during all of this panic and anxiety even before I decided to take a break. I owe a lot to you, buddy.

[namjoonscoffeeshop]

Dear Namjoon | 08

✧ Pairing: Kim namjoon x reader ✧ warning(s): explicit language, suggestive content, mature content ✧ genre: angst,fluff,smut,slow burn ✧ synopsis; You're sent to live with your father and older brother. only that your older brother is in a band called BTS. you meet jimin's friends and automatically get tangled with one of his band members. you're relationship has to be kept a secret but for how long can you keep it that way?

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namjoon was busy all week so we didn't meet much, and once the weekend came my dad said he wanted to hang out so I couldn't sneak out to his place.

"just hang out with dad today and i'll let you go with your mystery boyfriend tomorrow. no questions" jimin tosses your keys on the bed. your sitting on your chair, crossed arms. looking at him

"did he tell you where we were going?" jimin shakes his head "nope he didn't tell me anything"

letting out a sigh you get up and grab your keys "ok then, but you better keep your work and not bother me tomorrow" you point at him with an intense stare

"yeah yeah i'll let you go have time with your boyfriend" he rolls his eyes. as he walks towards the door "but behave yourself" he shuts the door behind him

taking out your phone you text namjoon, telling him if you could come over tomorrow.

- later that same day-

after getting ready, with decent attire. not wanting to make your dad have a fit. you head downstairs.

"you ready?" your dad asks as he putting on his coat

"yes" he nods "i'll heat up the car" he smiles and walks out

"thank you for dressing up normally would"

"oh shut up" jimin just chuckles at your words

"what are you planning to do while we're gone?" you ask him

"oh the guys and me are heading to namjoon's place. we're just gonna hang out"

as you zip up your boots you stop at the mention of namjoon. "lucky"

"you think so?" he laughs "well it's better than being with dad" you shrug

"yeah what ever" he sits on the sofa "try and have fun" you both hear honking outside, a sign that he was ready to go.

"well here goes nothing" you walk out the door

"you got this dad" jimin murmurs

-----

JIMIN POV

once I arrived at namjoon's place everyone was already there, like always we sat in his living room and played against each other.

the only person who wasn't playing was taehyung and namjoon. since taehyung asked him for help on his homework cause he was behind.

jin yells as Mario falls into the pool of lava taking his last life. "my turn" jungkook yells as he takes the control from jin

i was watching them play when a phone that was tugged in the side of the sofa vibrated. i looked at it, i couldn't tell who's it was

taking the phone out from the side of the arm rest it lights up.

1 new message from Juicy thighs

cringing at the nickname "aye who's juicy thighs" i annouce loudly. jungkook pauses the game and everyone looks my why

"what? taehyung asks

"juicy thighs, someone left their phone here" i shrug

namjoon the grins "that's mine" and all the guys looked at him

"damn namjoon juicy thighs, really?" yoongi scrunches his nose as he says the name

namjoon gets up and walks towards me, taking the phone from my hand. he smiles as he looks at the message "well you'd have to see them in order to understand" he smirks, taking his seat by taehyung again

"gross bro is it the same girl you were with at school" now it was me cringing at his behavior

"yeah it is" namjoon's huge as ego was very visible right now.

"now who is it? and how long is it gonna last" jin's brow raises as he asks namjoon

for the first time ever, namjoon just smiles "i'm actually not gonna tell you guys who it is"

"that's a first" yoongi says nonchalantly "leave the guy alone, and start playing before i take the control" yoongi tells jungkook

looking back at the screen, i remembered something. y/n had someone with a nickname too...

"hobi, is it normal for people to have nicknames like that. even for just fuck buddies"

"especially for fuck buddies" he grins

-----

Y/n POV

we got to a restaurant, it was a nice fancy one. we follow the lady who greeted us as to the table. he pulls out the chair for me and i sit down.

"how's school" he asks as he sits down

"it's good" i smile, taking the menu that was handed to me

"do you feel comfortable in your room?" he asks, as he reads the menu. you glance at him before answering "yes, thank you for fixing everything for me"

he smiles "you're welcome"

after we order, it was silent for a little while

"y/n i'm sorry" he rubs the nape of his neck

"i should've been there for you more when you were younger"

"dad, it's in the past. let's just move on from it"

"can you do that?" his voice gives a hint of sarcasm

"hmm i guess not, but i thought that would make you feel better"

"i wanted to reach out when you stopped answering my letters"

"cause i saw the change of handwriting, it wasn't you but your assistant who was writing them. aren't i right?" i cross my arms and lean back

"i got busy and it wa-"

"right" he sighs and looks at the side "i never stopped loving your mother, at some point we were gonna get back together but then i thought you would feel weird"

"don't blame your failed relationship on me"

"what? i wasn't doing that" he says fast "it wasn't even a failed relationship more like meeting the ri-"

"right person at the wrong time, yeah i know. look dad, i'm not interested in the relationship between you and mom. honestly i just wished you'd let me breathe"

i know my parents still love each other, both of them never remarried and my mom never dated again. they were more focused on their careers than anything else. they would fight for that reason, but separating made them closer than when they were together.

"i didn't know being near me was so suffocating" his eyes gleamed with sadness

"you bringing up the past over and over is suffocating, ever since i moved in with you. it's been great, i like it the whole having a dad and all, but i just wish you'd let it go" i sighed, as i massaged my temple

"you like it?" i nod at his words

"that's good then"

the waitress brings food to the able and walks away

"i just wanted to know about everything i missed" he cuts the meat on his plate and switches it with mine, since we ordered the same thing.

"that's what photo albums are for" he looks at me with a sad smile "yeah i guess thats right"

"you didn't miss much dad, everything i remember is with jimin and all the times i saw you. yeah there are memories with mom or some random thing i did in life. but i don't remember the rest" i just shrug, he nods. "let's eat"

the rest of the dinner was quiet

we went home after that.

------

- Next day-

Namjoon answered me late last night saying I could come over around the afternoon if i wanted to.

so in the morning i watched a show with jimin and dad. we ate breakfast together and just heard jimin talk about how they got a lot of offers but that a company called Big hit is catching their attention.

once it hit around eleven i excused myself, as i went to shower and get ready.

i'm not a huge fan of make up, so i just do my eyebrows and eyes at times.

i open the bag i had been hiding in my closet, and i take out the red lace lingerie. i end up wearing a spaghetti strap dress with a grey long sleeve shirt underneath, i made sure i picked a dress that reached my knees. to not have my dad giving me looks that screamed "you're going out like that". with some finish touches i head down stairs. i had told my dad in the morning i'd be going out

"i'm gonna hang out with some friends" both of them turn to look at you

"alright, don't stay out too late" jimin says, but he's glaring at you as he speaks

you dad looks at jimin and then you "or just call if your staying out" you nod and give them both a hug.

once you got to namjoon's place, he had texted you the front door would be unlocked. letting yourself in you take off your shoes as you look around but see no sign of namjoon. you make sure to lock the door before looking for him

you walk to the living room and kitchen but see him no where. you make your way to the staircase, heading up stairs but you kept stopping as you looked at all the photos hanging along the wall. you kept looking at the photos of namjoon when he was small.

suddenly you hear music playing from his room, and begin to make your way there. the door was opened and you see him sitting on his desk. note book open as long as his computer with a small keyboard on the desk

he was writing things down as he played on the keyboard.

"hey" i lean on the door frame, waiting for him to turn to look at me

and he does, he looks at you with a very serious face. his glasses on his face and just like always your heart skipped a beat. he smiles at you and signals me to come closer. he doesn't talk at all.

I walk towards him and he pulls me to his lap, kissing me right away. i part my lips for him, as he french kisses me.

he finally moves back, but leans his forehead on mine "i really needed that" he lets out a sigh

"what's wrong?" his grip on my thigh loosens but he brushes his thumb over it.

"i'm just having a hard time writing today, but i gotta finish it by tonight "

"oh shit, is me being here gonna distract you? i can go home" I try to get up but he holds me down "no you being here is gonna help me not be so stressed" he kisses me again, he tilts my head back

"you help me recharge" he grins as he gives you small pecks on your lips making you giggle

"yeah?" you play with the top of his shirt "do you wanna do it in a faster method"

he chuckles "nope, not right now" he puts his arm under your legs as he gets up. he lays you on his bed "be a good girl and stay here until i figure out the chorus" he winks at you. he sits back on his chair, leaving you dumbfounded on the bed

"my tablet is there if you wanna watch something while you wait. but just use the headphones" he tosses them on the bed "try not to make so much noise" he smiles before turning back to his desk

"did you just treat me like a child" i laugh "but fine i'll be quiet"

grabbing the tablet i see a folder on the main screen that said BTS songs, so i grab the head phones. i put them on as i press on the folder and listen to the songs.

- 30 mins after arriving -

namjoon would occasionally look at me and tell me he was recharging by just looking at me and i would just laugh at him

"i like your music" i say out loud, after being quiet for a long time "we're you hearing all the music?" he doesn't turn to glance at me

"yeah, do you mind?" he shakes his head

"i was gonna show you anyways" i nod at his words and now i'm playing a cooking game he had on the tablet

- 1 hour after arriving-

the tablet was gonna die so i was looking for the charger, opening the drawer he took it out from i find the charger but i also find three boxes of condoms and my eyes widen

then again when we have sex he always does it more than once, my face completely red and hot at just thinking that about it.

you didn't wanna play with the tablet no more, now you wanted to play with him.

after putting the tablet to charge, i grab the box and open it. taking one out. closing the drawer i sit back on the bed "how much longer are you gonna work on the song"

"babe i'm not even close to done" he sighs, i can see how he was annoyed at his own writers block. so i'm gonna distract him.

taking off my underwear i leave it on the bed and walk up behind him, i wrap my arms down his neck with my chin resting on his head. i can feel how muscular his chest is under my hand, i had to hold myself back from pinching his nipple

time to be serious y/n i smile at myself. he doesn't react to your touch what so ever, as he's focus on writing.

"namjoon" i whisper to him

"yeah?" he answers dryly

"take a break" and he stays quiet ignoring you completely, and now you were getting frustrated. "namjoon" you whine his name and he just chuckles

"babe give me just three minutes" he says as he crosses out a line of what he wrote cursing under his breath

you look over at his clock and see its only 2pm.. he can take at least a small break i tell myself. I say this as to not feel guilty for bothering him instead of just staying on the bed like he said.

lifting his arm you sit on his lap again, like you did earlier. he looks up at you, putting down the pencil.

"what's wrong are you bored" he laughs

he holds your hips as you straddle him, "not really, i like spending time with you even if it's like this"

"yeah?" he says with a grin, and you nod

"then be a good girl and sit on the bed, i'm almost done. once i'm done with the chor-" i squirm on his lap and pout, making his eyes open wide "are you throwing a tantrum" he laughs

he stares at you and chuckles "if you're horny just say so" I feel my cheeks blush

"where did my innocent little y/n go" he pinches my cheek, i push his hand away "don't be like that" i say as i massage my cheek cause this bitch pinched it hard.

"babe if you wanna have sex just say it, what's there to be ashamed of. you already said your addicted to it" he winks, his hands leave your hips as they make their way under your dress, but stops mid way.

"look at you, your all ready huh" he smirks as he squeezes your ass with his hands. you just shrug with a smug, feeling confident 

"your still gonna have to wait" he smiles at you

"what?" i pout, my confidence leaving fast

"i need to finish this at least, so be a good girl and sit like this or wait on the bed" he gives my ass another squeeze

"but i'm so wet" i hide my face at the crook of his neck from embarrassment. you hear him snort as he tried to hold his laugh.

"what turned you on this bad" his hand moves in between our bodies as he presses his fingers on my folds, his fingers wet.

i whimper at how sensitive i feel "i opened your drawer and saw all the condoms"

"seeing condoms turn you on?" 

"no..i was just thinking why you had three boxes of them" he fingers rubbing against me

"what was your answer" he slips a finger in and i let out a moan, I can feel how hard he was getting underneath his joggers

"you like doing it more than once"

"good girl" he pulls out his finger making me whine, he brings it up to his mouth licking it

"well since your ready, i'm gonna teach your something new" my heart begins to race

"something new?" he nods

"let me just grab a co-" you take the condom out that you had been saving on your bra strap and he has a smug face

"don't stare at me like that" i wanna cover my face right now, from how he stars at me

"get up real quick" getting off of him he pulls his joggers and boxers down, letting his growing bulge spring up. "let me get the condom" he opens the foil and places it on the top of his harden cock "roll it down" he smirks

"what?"

"you gotta learn to put it on" i move my hands slowly to his, he grabs my hands and places it on his tip "do it" i feel myself getting more wet in between my thighs. i slid the condom down his length "like that?" i look at him

"there she is, my innocent little y/n" he grabs my hands making me  pumps  his length. "alright pick up your dress" gathering your dress you straddle him again, his bulge standing between the both of you.

his hands go on your hips, as he bundles the dress up, holding it "lower yourself on it"

i reach for his cock in one hand as i hover over it. i align it to my entrance. my other hand holding his shoulder tightly

i can hear my heart beating loudly in my ears "hurry up babe" you feel how he twitches under your touch.

spreading your legs a little more you begin to lower yourself on him, feeling his tip brushing against your entrance you groan

i was starting to feel embarrassed, he always took charge in everything. why is he making me do it.

his grip on your waist tightens  "faster" he says, pushing you down on him

"w-wait"

"i can't " he says

you sink into his length a little more, his head finally inside you making you spread your legs even more in order to take him in more. he lets out a grunt as your walls clench around him "fuck how are you still so tight" your wetness was enough to not let it be painful.

"does it hurt" he says slowly, concerned cause he didn't stretch you like he usually does

"no..it feels good" half of his length is already in you

he bites his bottom lip trying not to push you down himself, waiting for you to do it. he lets out a sigh of pleasure once your sitting down completely.

"good" he breathes out, grabbing your hands he wraps your arms around him, his sudden movement made your walls clench even more, you rest your head on his chest

"namjoon"

"i know i know" he chuckles

he scoots closer to the table, making his hips move and you moan out his name

"you know what people call this?" he says, as you hear him click his pen, you shake your head. 

"cockwarming"

"w-what"

"means you just sit there with my dick inside of you" he smirks

moving your head to face him he continues to smirk at you "i told you to wait, since you're so desperate for my dick, you can have it. but you're gonna have to wait for me to fuck you" he focuses on the paper and continues to write.

shocked at what he said you wait for him to say he was joking "wait you're serious"

he ignores me and continues to write. you can feel how your walls clench around him making him twitch inside you, you whisper is name as you try to stay still " namjoon please just touch me" my forehead leaning on his chest

he just chuckles and now you feel irritated "i swear namjoon" i whimper

i hear as he scratches something out again, he's completely focused on his writing

not wanting anymore of this torture i move my hips. he clenches his jaw, but continues to write

i did it again, but faster, making his tip poke me in a weird spot making me moan out his name. he lets go of the pen as he holds your hips "stop moving or i'm not gonna let you go home today" he says

you gulp at his angry tone and just nod

"shit.. i need to get you a sex toy or something" he chuckles

not being able to answer him you just lay your head on his chest, trying to calm down

about a minute passes before he slightly moves causing him to thrust into you. you whine once again "sorry babe, i didn't mean to move" i feel the smirk on his lips as he gives me a small kiss on my neck. and it sends chills down my spin

"namjoon i'm gonna get off" i hold onto his shoulders, but he thrusts upwards making you weak on your legs so you can't get up

"your not listening today" he says as he puts the pen down "i'm done" he grabs your ass as he gets up.  laying you on the bed he spreads your legs resting in the middle he grinds against you. "is this what you wanted huh" you nod quickly, tears streaming down your cheeks. he pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor. his face inches from mine 

"wait"

"what" he says, I could hear he was getting impatient. I reach up to his face, and take off his glasses. 

he leans down to kiss my jaw, tracing kisses down to my neck. he thrusts his hips into me roughly, my mouth agape. i dig my nails into his back.

namjoon thrusts his hard and thick length into you, despite your cries of telling him to go slower "isn't this what you wanted" he grunts and your walls clench around him. he pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it on the side of the bed. 

"your walls clenching around me isn't helping you" he grips your waist as his pace fastens.

he continues to roughly thrust into you, knocking the breath out of your lungs, your nails digging into his back makes him groan but he only felt pleasure from it.

he grabs the end of your dress, and shirt, taking it off your body to toss it somewhere else "shit did you dress up for me too" he smirks as he looks at your lingerie

you can't keep your eyes open anymore, at this point as you call out his name. as your walls tighten around him he knows your close, he lifts your hips even more as he fastens his pace. you feel the knot in your stomach. namjoon continues to pound into you, desperate to make himself feel more. he wants to fuck you raw.

"fuck, y/n" he groans, his brows pinch as he thinks of fucking your raw.

"did. did you just get b-bigger" i cover my face with my hand

"i can't fucking help it, your just so fucking good" and that was the end for me, the knot in my stomach releases, face burying into the crook of my neck he continues to thrusts into me

he continues to fuck you through your orgasm with deep thrusts as you hear him let out little breathes of frustration

"y/n lift your hips" and you do as he says, placing a pillow under you he grabs your waist as he thrusts into you sharper and deeper than earlier

you start to kiss him, moving your hips as you try to help him reach his orgasm.

namjoon growls as he finally comes inside the condom.

"y/n let me fuck you raw one day yea" his face buried in the crook of your neck

"raw?" you ask, catching your breathe

"no condom babe" he sits back, pulling out from you making you whine. his brows pinch as he pulls out.

"as long as you get on birth control we'll be fine" he says as he ties the condom disposing it at the bin

"how do i get that"

"i'll take you to a clinic, but i don't want you to feel pressured to have sex without a condom alright" he stares at me with a serious face

"we will only ever do what you want"

but the idea of feeling him without the condom excited you. you nod, he gives you kiss

"we can always just get the pill jimin gave you the other day along with the birth control" he opens his drawer taking out the opened box of condoms

"wait what are you"

"didn't you just say i like to do it more than once" he smirks, looking down to his cock, you look down and see he's fully erected

"wait no i'm sore"

"nope, i'm gonna tire you out so you let me finish the song" rolling on the condom down his length he grabs your leg pulling you closer to him "now spread your legs for me babe"

let's just say, he finished the damn song and i ended up staying over.

[itsdannysworld]

Sunkissed (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, Danny Wagner x Reader CW: cursing, sexual implications, angst, SLIGHTLY MILDLY KINKY SEXUAL IMPLICATIONS Summary: adding danny into the mix could be disastrous, but it'll be fun (also i’m thinking slightly short chapters more frequent updates? maybe)

enjoy-

You loved whatever you had with Jake. It had started within two months of knowing each other, and it never got too serious. Both of y’all weren’t ready to commit to a serious relationship, but still wanted sex in your lives. It was rough and fun and exciting and secretive, and you really wanted to keep it secretive. You had always been quite reserved when it came to your personal life, especially your sex life. He however, wasn’t a huge fan of keeping it a secret. He wanted the boys to know you were his and not to fuck with you or catch feelings even though there was no exclusiveness regarding your “relationship”. His possessiveness bothered you, it was hot in one sense but total bullshit in another sense. He had no claim over you to any degree, and good lord did it piss you off.

Breakfast went about as well as you expected. He was mad you left last night and was happy you had gotten caught.

“Look can we just put all this messy fuck buddy shit away for a moment and just enjoy breakfast? I’m really not in the mood to start bickering right now.” You said seriously.

“Yeah y/n. I’m sorry I know it shouldn’t bother me it just does. I won’t bring it up again, scouts honor” He held up three fingers and you laughed at that.

“Babe, you weren’t even a boyscout.” You said between giggles. Despite your laughing what he said did oddly mean quite a lot to you.

Y’alls “relationship” was nothing less of bipolar. That’s part of the reason you both agreed not to fall in love, the results would be catastrophic for everyone. You loved him though, in a weird sense. More like you had love for him, but you werent “in love”.

“Thanks for paying for breakfast, I could have totally paid for mine.” You said as you both walked out of the restaurant.

“Don’t mention it hun, it’s no big deal” He shrugged. He did enjoy treating you well.

“I have to go to the studio today, are you ok with me dropping you off now? You can come if you want?” He offered.

“No way, I’m not gonna sit in a room and watch Sam and Josh argue over if his bass is properly in tune or not.” You giggled.

“I get that, shit gets annoying quickly”

He pulled into your parking lot and you got yourself ready to get out. When you opened the door he reached out for your wrist. You turned back to see him smiling

“I’ll be back tonight darling, wear something pretty for me.”

“Yes sir” You nodded. When you entered the apartment it was like a part of you finally got to rest. You pulled out your phone and noticed you missed a text from Danny.

Danny-Boy:

i’ll be at ur apt in 20, i’m gonna swing by before going to the studio, idc abt being late lol

He sent that 10 minutes ago, which gave you 10 minutes to violently clean your apartment as best you could. You typically kept it spotless but had gotten lazy recently. You heard a knock on the door that pulled you out of your cleaning trance and went to go open it.

“Hey Danny come on in”

He came in and stood awkwardly by your couch.

“Sorry for the ominous ‘can we talk’ message, I wanted to explain but I crashed the second I got home.” He said nervously. His energy was weird, you couldn’t really read him.

“It’s ok, feel free to like actually sit on the couch instead of awkwardly leaning on it” He turned red and immediately sat down.

What the fuck was going on with him? He never was this weird. You sat next to him and leaned into him, he was warm and you couldn’t resist chilling right next to him.

“What’s on your mind Danny-Boy?”

“I wish we had what you and Jake have” He stuttered out. Your eyes went wide and you immediately shot up away from him. The idea turned you on, I mean Danny had always caught your eye. He was kind and funny and god was he beautiful.

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” You said, his body language became more relaxed the second you said that.

“I mean, are you and Jake exclusive?”

“Not at all, in fact I can’t imagine dating him.”

“Good girl”

Oh fuck

You almost jumped his bones crawling on him kissing him with passion. He returned the energy quickly but checked your clock that sat on the mantle.

“Fuck I gotta be in the studio, let me know when you want to do this again” He winked and then practically ran out the door. You weren’t typically the type of girl to entertain two boys at once, but why the hell not?

-hiiiii, ok this shits moving fast so hold on-

[your-local-grinning-cat]

Hello? Hello Hello?

Uh, Hi! You don't know me but I am here to deliver a message and a gift for you on behalf of a friend of mine.

She has left behind this Strawberry Shortcake: 🎂 (ooc// idk if it'll appear as the correct cake since we prob have diff phones but if the emoji looks like any other cake on your end, pretend it doesn't)

And she asked me to recite the following message for you. She would've sent this herself is she weren't so viscerally mortified by you. And, buddy, I don't know what you did but it must've given her quite the scare! I haven't seen her this shaken since that eel guy with the dark streak in his hair kept trying to munch on her head! Anyway, [shuffling through notes] here is the message she left:

"This is an offering of peace. Please do not eat me I will actually die. Like /srs no regeneration no take backsies no second chances die. And I kinda like to keep my head on my shoulders, thank you.

Sincerely, 🍰."

That is all I've got! Do enjoy the free cake I suppose! And thank you for your time.

-☎️ (@aetherphobia)

*eating strawberry shortcake while listening to message*

…okay but if no meant to eat, why cake head? 🤔

I mean… *gestures to the cake I’m eating*

See? Cake is for eating! If cake is head, head is for eating!

It’s not brain surgery - it’s dessert! 😸

[sheepishfreeloader]

I've added a handful of people to my V/RC friends list, some I hang out with more than others, and otherwise I just instance hop in the Sup/erstar Da/ycare a lot since it's pretty popular and full of fandom people...

Sooo one day while playing with one of the regulars I goof off with someone new shows up, and after having a chill goofy time he asks for my Discord. He's an adult so I'm like, yeah alright. First time adding someone from V/RC on Dis/cord so I didn't know what to expect... and I mean, it started out pretty nice cause he seemed like he wanted my attention, buuut my irl friends were uncomfortable that he would spam me for attention all the time. But I'm just delighted that someone seems to have had a fun enough time around me to want to talk and hang out more ya know. So I shrug it off, being needy isn't exactly a crime and I just ignore it when I don't feel like socializing.

I try to be a little more tolerant and open in VR/C... he was nice to my kid friend, but I noticed in one-on-one worlds he made some off color jokes. I expressed discomfort with them and he was cool about it and stopped making them around me, so I was appreciative. I tolerated knowing he made the jokes because he didn't seem to do it in front of anyone but me, and making ass jokes doesn't automatically make someone evil, and he was otherwise nice. Figured he just had a lot of growing to do. I mean, I made ass jokes when I was a teen, and I learned and grew up and stopped being like that, afterall.

We have a few good chats, both in Dis/cord text and in V/RC. It was great! But I can't be around every time he's needy for attention (I think I was like. His only AFAB friend) so he expresses trying to find more cuddle buddies, but he's just too anxious about public worlds. So I'm like okay. I got you. I make a plan to make him unintimidating and easy to sit next to and cuddle with, and with my presence in a large avatar hope to be comforting to him in a public world while we try and attract him someone else to hang with.

Maaan. Here I was, so excited to help out, and then when we do it he just. I don't even know what went wrong. He picks an annoying avatar that he knows might crash people and decides to behave in the most vile way I've seen from him, so much so it shocked the Hell out of me. I'm talking rape jokes, groping girl's jiggle-physics breasts without permission, explicit NSFW jokes in front of minors, threatening to dox a minor's IP address for a small silly annoyance, jokes about women being dumb, being a-ok with a stranger touching my avatar after laughing at his rape jokes, and he tops it off by insulting my fiancé's gender identity (and therefore, mine) while also assuming they're AMAB (and therefore, assuming I'm het). All this in a public world. I was so embarrassed that I brought him there and was being associated with him. Being a bit mean.... even my kid friends know better than to behave the way he did.

I get so uncomfortable and sad that I awkwardly stand up and say my friend is asking me to join her. Not a lie, but I was technically the one who sent the request. He says okay. I see he logs off about 15-20 minutes (unusual, he usually begs me for attention 24/7) after I leave him and then a couple hours later has the balls to message me hi and spam my username at me for attention. What the hell??? Like, that's it? You're a total ass and I leave out of sheer discomfort and that's all I get? Man, whatever. >n>

In hindsight, without giving details about things he shared with me (it would be wrong to share private things even if he was an ass), he only ever acted like he wanted me around to give him attention, not because he was actually interested in me as a person. My attention, genuineness, and openness made him feel emotionally heard and comfortable. But he didn't show any regard for my own emotional or physical wellbeing, he just wanted to spam and beg me to come online to make him feel better about himself, even if it was 1am and I was exhausted. I get it that it's hard to think about other people when you're not in the right mind for it, but you have to if you want to make and keep friends. I may be nice and attentive but I have my limits. I'm too old to have to explain to some guy I've only known for 2 weeks why he shouldn't grope womens' boobs in V/RC or threaten to dox a child over a fucking virtual barrel.

I haven't exactly broken it to him yet that I really don't feel comfortable hanging out with him or having him on my Dis/cord after his nasty behavior and insulting my fiance/me. But woof, lesson learned... just because someone seems really nice the first time you hang out, that doesn't mean they aren't hiding showing off their true colors. So... maybe don't add them on Dis/cord until you know they're not a total prick 😓 you may just end up feeling sad and heartbroken that damnit another adult friend was shitty.

I wouldn't say it was a total waste of two weeks, I mean it was fun until... that. And after I left him in that world I did get to hang with someone else I knew and added two other people, who I'm crossing my fingers are cool. They all cheered me up. But it also always sucks when you have to drop yet another person that you thought was friendly, you know? :^P

[thetruthaboutnolan]

Sorry I’ve been busy and quite honestly not logging into this account for a long time as I’ve been switching between my RP mains and characters when getting on. But got a few messages and decided another short answering session is in order. forgive any typos I'm on mobile a d don't actually care about it screwing up because i type to fast for it, keep up iphone.

Are they are stalking your social media pages?

Not mine, but the person that no life or lawyer having jadedglory psycho is actively stalking with her pedophile friend. It’s a social media that pedophile found and threatened to blackmail him with if he didn’t smut with her or admit she was the ultimately marvel nerd. From what he tells me, he keeps it up and will randomly change the info with stuff that happened between when he was a teenager til now but make it look recent. since he knows and he is right that she continues to stalk it and share it. Funny the pictures haven’t been updated in a decade though, probably should have been their first clue that account wasn’t really active. Now I know it’s hard for them to read without completely spazzing out like the 4 year old losers they are. But they seem to think I’m like 9 different people and had that other blog ran by that thing which also has no life collect the info and pass it around. However I’ll say it again as I’ve been saying it for years I’VE NEVER GONE BY OTHER ALIASES!! I know it’s hard for them to read as their eyes are old for people pushing mid 40. Their one shred of connecting me with the person who is their victim grooming victim is the fact that at a recent point in time we’ve used the same discord. It’s also known that I have and encourage the making of multiple discord accounts. It’s also well known and documented as early as 2015 that I’ve let multiple people use a specific discord account of mine……. You do the math. Hahaha.

For those that need hand holding, yes, I’ve not been the only one using one discord account since its creation. I originally stated after my second S attempt during the first time I ran my abilities roleplay I had a friend run it for me, this friend even admitted to the members at the time that they were me but would act as ‘Nolan’ so that the troll army hailthehelpful unleashed on me wouldn’t think it won. She saw first hand the disgusting things I was being sent. Then I did jt again to a friend I made though Hollow Grove yes the same man who also helped another friend of ours advertise his Star Wars site a couple of years ago. He also helped the guy find RP buddies by joining servers with his own account as this friend’s pedo stalker was reading everything he posted on the now ‘community’ discord account I guess jt can be called.

Add about three more friends to that then you get to the guy whose personal info was leaked. That’s one of the reason I’ve been active like insanely active on tumblr’s RPC but all these dramatic 40 year olds have only found me on like 2 groups. I’ve been using my other tumblr RP discord account. Now why did I give this guy the discord? Why not, given it to quite a few others. I did it because he said he was going back to jcink and back to the old groups he loved being in, fandoms. His pedophile stalker is ALOT like him they have many of the same likes, dislikes, personal traits, style of writing and coding, and fandom. The only difference is while he keeps it humble, his stalker hunks she’s too ahit and will smite anyone that goes against her since they are a narcissist. So I gave him the log in and told him to have fun. Use it as a shield from his actual account and that he can run to when his stalker goes after him. Not even I predicted it would be his first forum going back, unlucky bastard. but he is bold I'll give him that, id never join that group, The Greed is it? but he apparently wanted to and has gotten onto the group and into speaking with both the stalker and the psycho. funny they cant tell its him, I thought they knew him oh so well.

anyway, right now this guy I met named kev has it under his control. i still sometimes log onto it as its my dumping account now. its where i put my discord layouts, self programmed bots, and dump sone of my links for drama and coding templates.

so have fun psycho stalker @jadedglory cry, scream, rage about this being wrong. the evidence is there and I've said it multiple times years ago. how else does your tiny mind think that your friends victim and myself have been able to join groups and remain so active all this time? because your dumb ass has been single minded focused on one account well now two. don't you have a life? a man? or woman or a hand? Sure don’t got no lawyer. like you need help in many many ways that go beyond psychologically. Some of us over here playing chess while others think it’s checkers and playing themselves hahaha.

anywho, time to get back to baldur's gate that G got me addicted to. But just a few hours, i got a meeting at 11 and admin work to do.

[littlemissidontcare]

If certain anons don't like the responses they get here, why do they insist on posting the same crap every time? They know many here are past tired of the same things they say time and again. I think they just enjoy it. ………….. The ones that point to followers like it's all the 'proof' needed. Or, my favorite, how they're just 'private'. Private couples don't schedule pap walks.

I’m the anon who sent the original ask and I’m actually new here. I only sent the ask here because my gf recommended checking out some new blogs since the ones I used to follow are all dead (celeb as fuck, Kevin, & some PR blog). This blog came up when I did a search for Sebastian’s name. It was not only one of the very few who seemed to post anons asks and not fan fics or just photos of Seb, but it seemed somewhat sane. I believe the og ask I saw said something about the stalkers leaving Seb alone and to let him be but the og message said something like “Annabelle Wallis's nonexistent ass or as far away from her as possible, he is where he is.” And I was prompted to respond.

You may have lived a different life experience that made you come to the conclusions you have about Seb & Annabelle’s relationship, but I have lived a different life and therefore consider different things to be evidence a relationship is real. In my life experience, significant others following close friends and family is an indication they’re in a real relationship, not just fuck buddies or a fling. in addition for a Celebrity couple to have been together what seems like a long time by Hollywood standards yet they’ve had few pap shots done, that is considered private & I do consider that real and not PR, based on my personal experience & knowledge.

I’m sorry if my opinion offended or triggered some other anons, and the blog owner but you all have your opinions and I have mine. The reason I continued to respond was because I consider “🤣” to be mocking and demeaning to my ask. Other anons may not have seen it that wY but again, based on my life experiences, I consider that mocking & childish.

I don’t understand the PR perspective because from my perspective their RS is real, but my opinion shouldn’t have been considered any less value than those who do believe it is PR. Thankfully I was able to talk to anotherAnon on DM and they helped me understand why some were triggered by my ask. If this ask is also in response to that original ask, then I’m sorry but I still stand by my original ask, I think it’s a real relationship. Annabelle may have called for paps to try and get some PR out of it, and Seb may have been upset with her, hence the uncomfortable look on his face but I don’t think that devalues their relationship. If anything jr should be an indication that Annabelle isn’t in it for genuine reasons.

Anywho, this is the last I’ll speak of it. I think I’m just going to agree to disagree & ask that we try to be more civil and respectful of individuals who have different opinions than others. And try to think how our responses may come across. What some may not see as mockery others will, and vice versus. We’re all adults here (I assume?) and should be able to have civilized conversation.

Since you are new I will also say that I do allow both opinions on my blog. I respect those that think it is real, but what I don’t respect is some anons that come here trying to convince us it is real or post things like “he’s obviously with her. Blah blah blah” when we have no proof. Or just some team real trolls that come to start shit.

I’m sorry your first time here was not what you were hoping for, and I’m sure anon who was dming you told you that Seb’s fandom is a rollercoaster ride. Buckle up, buttercup.

[masongrizchel]

Day 215 of 365

We were sad when we found out about the death of our friend's mother. It is really a grieving feeling, and I know it firsthand since I was in the same situation before. It alarmed me when this friend of mine sent to our group chat, "Help me". It reminded me of the feeling that I had during my father's passing. The challenging part is that my dad's funeral was in the province, and no friend of mine was able to give me the kind of comfort that I needed. My girlfriend was also not around during that time. It is urgent, and booking a plane ticket will be expensive for the both of us. And the moment that message was notified in our conversation thread, I cancelled the rest of my plans for the day and gave myself time to comfort our friend. I'm giving him what I think he needs. A company.

I texted my girlfriend. And I told her that we were planning to go to the funeral. I failed to instruct her about the plan. But since this is quite urgent, once I arrived home I waited for her to prepare, and she accompanied me all along. We stayed at the funeral for a few hours. Among the closest friends was a mutual friend of my grieving buddy (who was my classmate during the 6th grade).

"Men don't show emotions, according to him.

which I agree with. We were discussing this, and I participated in that conversation by saying yes. It is actually hard; I made myself firm and strong. I vented my weeping the moment I received a text message confirming that my dad was already dead. I burst out of the laboratory four years ago. Then I cried again during the procession as we approached the grave. I burst out again.

I know there are a lot of things going on with my friend, mentally and emotionally. We will be by his side as long as he needs us. Anyhow, I have to keep up with the supposed postponed activity today. Hays. I thought it was canceled.

[batteredwarriorstillstanding]

Oh yeah....I don't believe I ever got around to even mentioning this with all of the other fabricated crap I felt compelled to refute, but as much as I appreciate your efforts to prevent me from "estimating my own worth based upon what others think and say," as I must have read that meme, or quote at least 50 times during or after incidences that you likely suspected I was doing just that. For one, I do a decent job of not deferring to others for my self image...especially not those who view me negatively. What I ALSO wanted to add, however, is that, of those who actually know me, NONE of them view me the way your buddies persuaded you. There are plenty of people who dislike me, and hold a less than rosy view of me as a person.....and, i must admit, actually know me quite well. But, they don't subscribe to the traits you were told were mine....others that are just as shitty, though. And. Believe it or not,I have kept many friends for ages...oarticularly those I love...and am often described as quite an asset by these people. The only person guilty of allowing others (amd not just any other, but....) to make up your mind for them is you....and, at the very least, it has cost you a loyal friend who loved you more than life.....no need to check back in a year or two to see what else you discarded in favor of a nonexistent image (I am guessing) because I will make sure a message is sent.

[rhokisb]

A Note to You, Now that You're Gone

Hey babe,

Just me again. Still thinking of you every single day. Still wondering where you ended up. If you're watching from your palace in the stars. If you're still dancing on cosmic dust. If you're laughing at our struggles from beyond.

I got little G some presents for Christmas. Sent it to grandma's house. I signed it Tante Lala. I hope he remembers. "Hi Lala!"

Sal's here for Christmas. I did good. Held it together until we got home tonight. That's when I really started to miss you.

Remember when you were pregnant with little man and we went to the maternity store together and I bought those pregnancy leggings and tried on the "baby bump" so we could take a picture of us bumping together? It's still one of my favorite memories. It was one of the last times I saw you while you were still home. I wore those tonight. Nothing was stopping me from turkey and ham. You would have loved dinner tonight. If you moved back you could have come.

I wish I could send you a Christmas message this year. I wish I could call you now, with this headache and heartache, and just lay on the floor screaming "FUCK" with you. In my heart of hearts I know that this year would have been torture for you. I know that HE probably wouldn't have let you see little man for Christmas. I know it would have been more heartache. I understand why you aren't here with us anymore. I do. I really do.

It doesn't make it stop hurting though. I still feel like I failed you, that I wasn't there for you enough, that I should have tried harder to come and see you when you said things were really bad.

I got him Minecraft stuff. A plush dog and a Ghast shooter. I'm not gonna lie, I just...really want little G to annoy the shit out of them with it. I thought you might get a kick out of it if you're up there watching us all.

I choose to believe that you have your phone wherever you are. I send you funny videos almost every day. I Snapchat you. I re-read our texts over and over again. Maybe one day I'll be able to show little man how funny we were and how much joy you brought to everyone who knew you.

I'm so mad I can't tell you about the family drama this year. You'd be howling. Probably be telling me to let it go and to stop being so dramatic, but you know me. I wish I could tell you about how this summer went--despite it being shitty after...you know...you left us. I'd love to send you photos of Sticky and how much she loves me. She pulled me out of the pit, this little 5-year-old saved me more than she'll ever know. Every time she comes and sits with me I just wrap her in my arms and hug her so tight. I know you're not supposed to pick favorites but I have to admit she's mine. I'll do anything for her for the rest of her life. Beans too, of course, but Sticky and me got something special. She reminds me a lot of you. I think you'd even agree if you got to meet her. Little firecracker. I hope that if/when Little G gets to come visit I can introduce them. They're only a few weeks apart in age, and I could see them getting along. Who knows. Maybe your sister will get custody and then they can be besties.

I'll watch "Filth" and "Party Monster" and "Love Actually" this year again. I'll probably still live text you while doing so. I watched "Sinister" recently and laughed at buddy's depression sweater. I asked your mom to grab yours when she cleaned out your apartment. Not sure if she found it or not. I haven't been to see her yet. We both agreed things were still too fresh and we were still both too angry about...everything. But soon. I promise soon.

I hope that, wherever you are, you get to spend this Christmas with Little G. I hope he feels your love surrounding him this year. I hope he knows that you will always be with him. Keeping him safe. Watching over him.

We got things here on the ground, Momma-Bear. The fight isn't over. Not by a long shot.

I love you endlessly, Mags. Forever and always. You're my best friend, that's never going to change. Not in a million years would that ever change. So wait for me. Don't get distracted up there. I'll see you in time.