#actual criminal

[ubejamjar]

Nahri Sohl (Non-WoL)

"It is not my preference to see to matters personally, but I will see them done." [Overwatch, Moira O'Deorain]

B A S I C S

Name Nahri Sohl Nicknames Nahri does not suffer nicknames, you will address her properly or you will not address her at all. Age Somewhere in her 40s, maybe 44 or 45. Nameday I haven't decided, but she is most certainly a summer child Race Hellsguard Roegadyn (As far as she is aware) Gender Genderfluid Orientation Lesbian Profession Proprietress of the White Alyssum entertainment hall; aspiring member of the Syndicate; Teledji Adeledji’s personal demon; blackmail (it's a very lucrative business)

P H Y S I C A L   A S P E C T S

Hair Black as coal and always kept short, always mussed like she just rolled out of someone's bed. Eyes Pale blue Skin: Deep bronze Tattoos/Scars: Nahri has horrible slashing scars covering up a tattoo on one of her wrists. The image is indiscernible beneath the gnarled flesh. She does not speak of it, everyone knows better than to ask.

F A M I L Y

Parents Shining Sapphire A wealthy Ala Mhigan merchant and otherworldly beauty. She was ruthless and over-ambitious, and she drew attention from the wrong people, which got her killed. Ambiguously Important Father A Roe or maybe Hyur who might've had a very distant claim to the Ala Mhigan throne. He was killed in one of King Theodoric's purges. Nahri never knew him. She's probably looking into it though, just in case she has claim to Ala Mhigo herself. Siblings: Elle de Marinterre - Older half-sister Nahri knows of Elle but has never met her. Allegedly Elle "stinks of human decency". Elle would try to build a relationship with her sister, but Nahri would never cooperate. She is a botanist. Grandparents: Dead, most definitely dead. In-laws and Other: Miray: An Ul’dah woman with dark hair, bronze skin, a voice like summer rain. She drinks her coffee hot without cream because she says it tastes like sunlight in the desert. She left Nahri after finding out how she was making her fortune (spoiler: it was very illegal). Ajisai Kawanami : Nahri is only nice to her because the Warrior of Light is a capable tool and tools must be maintained else they lose their edge. Pets: I have a hard time imagining this woman having a pet. She's just too busy.

S K I L L S

Abilities: Thaumaturgy To survive in this world, one needs a competitive edge and a fireball seems like a very good place to start. She joined up with the Thaumaturge's Guild when she first arrived in Ul'dah, because if the Ul'dahns would not lift a finger to help her, then she would help herself. Nahri just loves to play with fire, it makes things so much more interesting.

Sleight of Hand Good fortune comes to those who know how to pluck it from well-off pockets. Nahri understands that one cannot make something of nothing and sometimes ‘something’ needs to be borrowed from those with too much. She is also good at card tricks and cutesy street magic that she is very proud of. In another life, she might’ve been an entertainer.

Business Sense Some people might call Nahri’s tactics theft or underhanded, but those people are beggars at the table.

Hobbies: Blackmail, drinking top shelf liquor, falling in love with every woman who reminds her even vaguely of Miray, reading cheesy romance novels, fencing, gambling, making new problems to avoid her personal problems

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: Altruism is something people would not associate with Nahri Sohl, but she does see to it that one's basic human needs are met. She does not care about your tragic backstory. She does care that you are starving and nobody is lifting a finger to help. She's very "give a man a fish, teach him to fish, and then leave him to sink or swim." Most Negative Trait: Ambition rolls off this woman like waves of heat in the desert air. She knows exactly what she wants and how she's going to get it. That's not inherently bad thing. It's just she's willing to "do away" with anyone who gets in her path. She'll find all your dirty secrets and she'll use them against you however she pleases. She’ll put you in the ground if that’s where you suit her.

L I K E S

Colors: Gold [the way it looked in Miray's hair], turquoise, deep brown, amber sunshine, red like desert rocks, white Smells: Fresh flatbread, sunshine on linen, hot coffee, the coconut sweetness of Miray’s perfume Textures: Silk, fur Drinks: Bitter coffee with a bite of lokum, fresh spring water, the licorice taste of arak

OTHER DETAILS

Smokes: Yes absolutely Drinks: If it's outrageously expensive, it's on the table Drugs: I want to say no, but honestly I feel like Nahri probably does lines of something in her office. If anyone wants to school me on Eorzean drugs, please do. Mount Issuance: She seldom leaves Ul'dah but when she does, she hires carriages, takes airships, and uses aetherytes. She doesn't usually go on journeys long enough to warrant having a mount. Been Arrested: A few times when she was first learning the dance of taking without permission.

tagged by the dear @ishgard ! Thank you!! :D

tagging (with much affection, trying to tag some friends I didn't tag in the last one. If you already been tagged then consider yourself double, triple, quadruple tagged and you get a smiley face sticker from me): @elliewiltarwyn @sailor-artemis @eorzeanflowers @lilbittymonster @flusteredracoons @laladventures @hinganskies @magitekbun @icehearts

[glorifyed]

One summer Tugboat kept coming back into the house and his neck would be wet and he/the mystery substance would smell like….the worst thing you’ve ever smelled. Like….if a dog were to eat poop and vomit it back up (trust me I worked at a doggy daycare and it was FOUL) combined with rotting meat. And for the life of us we couldn’t figure out WHY or WHAT it was.

Turns out the wheelbarrow my roomie had been using to do yard work had a leak, and it had been raining for weeks at this point. So it was molding, rotting, fetid, plant juice leaking all over him cause he’s a Pug so of course he’s going to go to where the stinky things are.

He was so fucking proud 😂

(Photo of the criminal himself included below)

Pets love to show up like Hello i am Mystery Wet :)

[sunriseovergotham]

characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that

[nightmaretour]

"Brain damage" only sounds like a harsh and offensive way to describe brain injuries because people constantly use it as an insult. It's a totally neutral descriptor of what it is. I have brain damage. My brain is damaged. It's not ableist to call it that, it's ableist to call people you don't like brain damaged because you think it's an inherently bad thing to be.

(Yes abled bodied neurodivergents, that includes you)

[smokestarrules]

gotta say I am a huge sucker for how Adventure Time will sometimes just cut to Princess Bubblegum doing something extremely morally dubious like cutting off a tiny person’s limbs with scissors and then sticking those arms and legs onto another tiny person’s limb stumps but then she'll turn around and go like "Good morning, Finn! Are you ready for a sploinking day?" and whatever atrocities she had just been committing will Never be brought up again.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanessa TOTALLY got those Tapes for the FNAF lore..

[ikiprian]

Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

[pastanest]

thinking abt being Spencer Reid’s controversially young gf (post-prison dilf era) and while he’s working a case he calls and is like,

“Dearest ray of sunshine, the heart of my life and reason for existing- Our unsub is gen-z and I urgently require your assistance. Please, what is rizz?”

[hinamie]

realizing how much i like drawing him a million years too late :<

[hotch-girl]

emily prentiss + sitting like this

CRIMINAL MINDS 3.18 // 7.21 // 17.02

[azrail-has-a-vendetta]

I think I need a “Kid Tim Drake gets kidnapped and held for ransom but his parents don’t even pick up the phone so now these criminals are like whelp, this kid is ours now. Sucks to suck.” Fic.

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

UNKNOWN NUMBER: We have your child.

HOTCH: Which one? Emily? Spencer? Derek? What are your demands?

UNKNOWN NUMBER: No, Jack. It’s the daycare. We’re closing soon. Please come get your son.

[allgremlinart]

high school theater is so funny cus like. one year you can have the most cunt wrenching performance of Phantom Of The Opera ever brought to life by 17 year olds and the next year. a really mediocre rendition of Seussical The Musical.

[keferon]

I’m so fucking insane about them you have no idea.

Listen. L i s t e n. My headcanon is. If only Optimus was there when Prowl got mind controlled by the Decepticons. If he was there he would be able to tell the difference. Every other bot just looked at Prowl and went …oh well I guess this asshole is evil I’m not surprised and never liked him anyway. But Optimus would see it. He fucking would

The comics I took these screenshots from are “Optimus Prime” and “Combiner wars”

[sevengoodusesofacadaver]

I was scrolling Pinterest last night and stumbled across these two serving absolutely lethal face cards

[prettyboyweather]

i love him a normal amount-