#actor is the 'would you still love me if i were a worm' boyfriend though change my mind

[marshmellowtea]

Actor Mark: Babe. Babe. Wake up. Babe, wake up. I need to ask you something. Y/N, still half asleep: Mm? Yeah, what is it? Actor: … Actor: Would you still love me if I were a worm? Y/N: … Y/N: Well, I still love you even though you asked me this asinine fucking question, so I’d say the answer is yes. Actor: Oh good. Yay :D Y/N: … Actor: … Y/N: … Actor: Okay but what about if I was— Y/N: BABY IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING. GO BACK TO BED.

[synonymouswithanonymous]

😊 Sidenotes

Random thoughts if anyone reads sorry as always for length. If I use "you" I'm referring to a specific "group" or type of haters.

Sidenote: I've been a fan of Johanne Milland since 2021 (venus). I've seen her posts these last 3 years, and she's never come off as anything other than sweet, kind, goofy, nerdy, funny to me. So I'm not seeing anything that would make me think she's "toxic."

I usually go for neutral opinions of celebs, I'm more into their characters than them as people. like I love, love, love Mr Darcy, but not into Colin Firth or Mathew M. Even though I do follow several celebs. 😊😊 BUT, I've always liked Johanne, she just always seemed sweet and funny to me. I'm glad they (AHA &JM) found each other. I'm glad they're happy. Maybe she's already his "twin flame." 😊😊 as someone mentioned recently.

In order to know someone's personality, you have to actually talk with them over a period of time. In person. NOT from social media. People are so much more complex than what's shown on social media. Think about everything you do and see and think in a week. Think about how you would feel if someone saw your social media and thought to themselves I know all about this whole person, and I'm going to diagnose them as a toxic psycho. Bc they saw their social media over a year. Nahhhhhhh you've got to be kidding with that silly tripe. People are so much more than that. So I'll rely on people that actually do know her....her boyfriend, his fam, co-workers, his/her friends (seems like tight group).

That to me is all I need to solidify my opinion. 😊 I trust that people who actually know her, know her better than the people who want to hate her. The people who are eager to hate on her for everything, Bc she's dating this actor. The people who want to dehumanize her (Really? Bitch, whore, leech, tick, worm, granny, toxic, psycho, manipulator, and a slew of nicknames later). And you want me to believe you're an objective Observer? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 you won't even quote the woman correctly. You call his Mother a "toxic pushy asskisser" bc she publicly likes her son's GF. You call all his friends who like her ass kissing leeches and more awful nicknames. Again you want me to believe you're legit looking at her objectively?

This is exactly what happened to Fanny, and every other woman he's ever been near. I mean people actually said Fanny was a bitch and they hated her. It's still on some of the main blogs, Oct 2021. They were "glad" she was getting hate bc they "hate her." She got so much heat for a cheek kiss at a premiere, AHA took the picture down. Now some want to pretend that never happened bc she's "safe" now and the focus of hate is now on his GF. There was a post/or preface to a post that said "before anyone freaks/flips out that's his sister." I mean people even wrote about how it's sad that he can't even be seen near a woman without the assumptions or that woman getting hate. I agree, that is sad. Don't even get me started on the nasty things they said about MK. Most of that's been deleted but it still happened. So many of his friends and family had to go private just to keep their photos off of fan pages (they supposedly got messages too). Bc some people want to talk about respecting his privacy, while trying to squeeze info out of every crevice they can find. That's not respecting his privacy. Then they say his own GF, doesn't respect his privacy (the lack of sense here is appalling, or is it bold hypocrisy?). I'm sure she knows what her OWN boyfriend is ok with sharing to the public. She knows their personal privacy rules they have, not yours.

Then there are the emotional blackmail and hoax people. From the girl who got him to talk to her bc they were threatening self harm If he didn't talk to her. To the fake secret marriage girl. Then there was the "4 year long artist/hawk" which turned out to be someone talking to themselves and trying to convince others that is was real. You gotta admit, celebs gotta deal with so much BS. I'm not convinced the latter isn't among one of the frequent anons (people have been sending me thoughts on this, could be wrong but it's interesting, I doubt they would just stop their obsession fullstop). Trying to "turn/convince" people against the woman he actually loves bc their fantasy life was bombed by reality. Bombed like Hiroshima. They're very concerned about controlling how other people view her, especially in the future. Personally I think they've already lost that bc so many view her as I do, or are neutral, and her followers are increasing. Good for her! And why does it make them so angry that he thinks she's beautiful? Or that loads of people think she's beautiful? And wonderful?

I think by now he's aware of these consistent behaviour patterns some fans use. He's even blocked some fan pages in the past bc of their overreaching nature. I wonder if that's why they took so long to go public? Bc they knew how some were going to react. no matter what. I wonder if he's used to that or if it's still mind-blowingly bizarre? A possible 7-8, 4-5 officially, months is awhile to not be fully out. But with "insufferable fans" like these I don't blame them. I hope he warned her. I'm sure he does think several fans are "crazy" and jealous. It's not like he'd be wrong to feel that way either.

I'm glad they don't pay attention to it very much.

I also wonder at why people haven't posted this infamous Vikings con logo on a bag picture? Is it bc you wouldn't see it unless you zoomed in? I can't remember seeing a logo, but I wasn't looking for one either. And I certainly wasn't listening to background voices in her videos to try to hear if AHA's voice was there.

Also I don't think that's toe fungus lol. She dances in her musical, she's on her feet a lot. It looks to me that she might have bruised toes/nails. Dancing can wreck your feet. Dancing can break your toes, the bridge, break nails, etc. It gets hot under lights, your feet swell in shoes too. The swelling rubs your toes on the shoes. The toes always get it bad, especially the big toes. 😊😊 personal opinion, been dancing since the age of 4, I sympathize fully with foot pain.

ahhh twas super long, lol. Oh well like I always say I don't expect anyone to read, these are my thoughts on these things. 😊😊😊

[thisisgonnafuxkinkillme]

Pro Heros Find You Crying

Warnings: tw for body image, mentions of death of pets

Yagi Toshinori/All Might

You were home, alone, when you found out. It wasn’t a particularly big issue, and it wasn’t something that someone else would necessarily care about, but to you, this was the final straw. 

An actor from your childhood, someone who you watched constantly as a child, someone who, albeit from a screen, saw you grow up, passed away. You never got to even meet him in person. The closest you’ve ever gotten was him noticing your comment on a livestream of 12 other people, and smiling.

You never got to thank him. For everything he’d done for you. 

Tears fell from your eyes uncontrollably, dripping from your eyelashes and dropping onto the floor, your clothes, the keyboard. 

Soon, though, you felt dreaded sobs making their way from your core all the way through your vocal cords. They shook your body like an earthquake. Sobs don’t care what they break inside you. They just need to get out.

What no one else would understand about this, though, was that your tears weren’t just being spilled for the actor you never got to thank. No, these represent so much more.

Your childhood is officially gone.

Just as that actor will be grieved, buried, and will rot in the ground with dusty fake flowers above his grave, your childhood will be filled with maggots and worms.

The thing about childhoods, though, is that they still live inside you, even when they’re over.

You always found this fact a cruel one. Even now, you could feel the worms burrowing into your childhood, eating away and destroying all the memories you’ve tried so hard to keep in tact for all these years. 

You sobbed for him, yes. But you were still grieving your loss as well.

Cold, bony fingers met your shoulder. You jumped, yelping at the sudden touch.

“What?! What do you want?!” you screamed. You aren’t usually this ornery, but the embarrasment of being this upset over something so menial, plus the shock of someone else being home with you, caused you to snap.

"What happened?" He gently asked. He met your seemingly angry tone with nothing but pure kindness and sympathy.

"I-I'm so sorry, Toshi...I didn't mean-"

"I know, pumpkin. I know."

He took you in his arms, pulling you towards him.

In between sobs, you explained what happened.

"oh...I see... That does sound like a lot for you to be dealing with."

He stroked your tear stained cheek.

“But...I hope you know that just because you’re older, it doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to be a kid sometimes. You can still get excited over stuff, and cry over things that seem silly, and have wonder about new things. As long as you keep a piece of your childhood with you, you never have to say goodbye.”

Once you calmed down, he took you out for ice cream: something you haven’t done since you were barely 10 years old. 

Aizawa Shouta/Eraserhead

You quickly clicked your heels into the staff restroom, closing the door behind you and shakily letting out a sigh of relief. You knew you didn’t have much time left before the tears started coming once you got that text, so you decided it’d be best for you to go ahead and have another teacher deal with your class for a few minutes while you let yourself deal with this, alone.

You re-read the text one more time. Maybe it wasn’t what you thought it was.

Y/n... I’m so sorry, but your dog was put to sleep today. 

You shook your head. No, maybe she meant to say that he was taking a nap. Maybe he was still waiting for you, at home, in his little bed...

A sob escaped before you had the chance to control it as you pictured his little black and white face peacefully sleeping on his doggie bed. 

You had that dog for years. He’d been there for you when no one else had, and though he couldn’t speak, you always knew he silently understood what you needed when you needed it.

Now, he was gone.

You covered your mouth, trying your best to supress the sounds of sorrow escaping your lips. Maybe, you thought, if I don’t acknowledge it, it’s not real.

But deep down, you know that’s not true. 

The door to the staff bathroom begins to creak open. 

“Hey, someone’s in here!” you croak out, the tears were even audible in your voice.

“Yeah, and now I’m in here too,” the teacher replied, shutting and locking the door behind him. Something you had forgotten to do.

It was Aizawa, the very teacher you had just asked to watch your students ‘for a moment’.

Before you could ask about them, he mentioned, “They’re fine. I put on a movie for em... but you, on the other hand, are certainly not.”

He took his place next to you on the dirty tile floor of the school restroom, against one wall. He handed you a tissue, noting but not mentioning the fact that you were a mess of tears, ruined makeup, and snot. You gladly accepted, blowing your nose.

Neither of you said much for a good five minutes. You forced yourself to calm down, as to not embarrass yourself in front of him, but the tears were still there, festering below the surface.

“So, what’s got you so upset?” 

That little question was all it took for you to break. You tried, unsuccessfully, to say it. The three little words, “My dog died,” but no matter how much you strained, all that came out was a mess of choked up sobs.

You shakily handed him your phone. His eyes darted to the text, and he instantly understood. 

Aizawa was not one for any physical touching, ever. Even though you had been dating him, he still never really enjoyed holding hands, hugging, or anything like that. 

Today, however, was a totally different situation. He turned to you, opening his arms wide, gesturing for you to ‘come here’.

But you didn’t need anything more. 

You did, and he silently cradled you, rubbing your hair. 

Truthfully, he didn’t know exactly what to say. What could you say? 

Once you began to calm down, he stroked your jaw lightly.

“What was his name?”

“...Theo.” you answered plainly. 

“You loved Theo a lot, didn’t you?” 

You nodded.

“You know, what’s so funny about losing a pet is that...it’s incredibly hard,” he sighed, “Even harder than losing humans.”

Aizawa continued, “It’s because we don’t have anything to gain from lying about loving them. We just do. Animals love their owners completely unconditionally, never needing any reassurance that you love them back a hundred times over. That’s not something that many humans have.”

You nodded.

“ I just hope you know that...you did your best for him. He couldn’t have ever asked for a better owner to share his life with. You did good, y/n,” he whispered. You shot him a shaky smile. Really, your heart was aching more now than ever. 

“You don’t have to do all that. I know you’re not doing well, still. Please, go ahead and go home for the day. I can take on your class, no problem,” he assured.

“...can you...come over after work?” you asked. He nodded.

Taishiro Toyomitsu/Fatgum

It’s been almost a year since this pandemic began. You wonder to yourself, how long can that be an excuse for you? 

You had gained weight. A lot of it. You suffer from secret binge eating, indulging yourself greedily in all your favorite comfort foods. Usually, you did this at night, which worked out even better for you, since your boyfriend usually had night watch and was not at home. 

Stretch marks were always a normal sight for you, ever since you hit puberty, but the ones on your stomach have started to move upwards, like vines trying to find the sun. They stared back at you in shades of purples, pinks, and browns. 

You ran your fingers over your now bumpy skin.

Other girls don’t look like this. Other girls are happy with a miniature bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, a granola bar for lunch, and maybe a tiny serving of pasta for dinner. They are the beautiful ones. They must be happy, right?

Your fingers unrelentlessly pinch and pull at your stomach, your thighs, your love handles. All fat.

Each tiny action reminded your body that you hated it. 

Did you even ever love your body? Even when you were ‘skinny’? 

Your eyes met with your face, staring back at you in your mirror. You saw flashes of the girl you once were, tiny memories of a once happy girl.

You couldn’t hold back the wail of grief that racked your whole body. You turned away from the mirror, curling up on your floor. 

That wasn’t any better.

The remanants of last night’s binge surrounded you. Wrappers from your favorite ice cream bar, discarded chip bags, and candy containers scattered your floor.

You suddenly remembered that he’d be home soon, and scrambled to collect all the evidence through your blurry eyes.

Each piece of trash reminded you of your failure, your lack of self control. Your uselessness.

You sobbed harder. 

“Y/n, darling, I’m home!” that peppy, familiar voice announced from the entranceway. You took a deep breath, scooting all the trash under your bed and wiping your face.

You greeted him, a faux smile plastered on your face.

He began to speak, but when he got a good look at you, he paused.

“What happened here, sweetie?” he asked, touching your face. His hand was chilled from the outside air.

“N-nothing. I’m fine,” you lied, forcing the smile a little more.

He squinted his eyes, sitting down at the kitchen table. 

“Go ahead an’ tell me what’s going on with ya,” he offered, patting one knee.

“Baby, it’s nothing. You need to go to bed, I know you’re probably exhausted.”

“The only thing exhausting me right now is you. I’ll go to the bedroom if that’s whatcha want, but I’m not goin to bed until you tell me what’s wrong.” 

Fatgum made his way into the bedroom, quickly slipping into his house clothes before sliding into the bed you both shared.

Before you could join him, he paused, adjusting himself.

He then pulled out a popsicle stick that you neglected to remove from the bed when you made it this morning. At the sight of it, you turned away from him and covered your face.

He was now wholly confused, but ready to deal with whatever it was that was upsetting you. He reached out, pulling you to him. You wanted to protest, but you couldn’t find the strength to anymore.

He rubbed your back in small circles, cooing, “let it out, babydoll...that’s it, good...”

Once you had calmed down quite a bit, he tilted your chin up towards his face, making you make eye contact.

“What have you been hiding from me, love?” he delicately questioned.

You said nothing, but slid out the pile of trash from the night before.

“This...is from last night,” you stated plainly.

You tensed your body, ready for the ridicule, the mocking, the ‘i’m just concerned for your health’ comments. 

You looked up, to see if he could actually see what you’d just shown him. He did. His eyes were dewy yet understanding.

He stood up, placing his arm around you and pulling you towards him.

“I understand,” he whispered into your ear. You clenched your fist.

“No. You can’t understand.” 

You looked up at him, with now angered eyes.

“You’ll never understand, Tai. Never.”

“What do you-”

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO STAY FAT FOREVER! I DO!” you screeched, covering your face. You never yelled at him before, or anyone else for that matter. But this issue you’ve been dealing with was one that no one ever saw from you. It was a raw, bleeding subject, one that you felt as if you’ve just poured a great deal of salt on.

“Darling...” he whispered, pulling you close to him, “What’s wrong with being fat, honey?” 

“Are you kidding?” you spat, “I don’t look good like this, Tai. I don’t fit into my clothes anymore, I-”

“Number one, you most certainly do look good like anything. Number two, I will buy you new clothes.”

You were starting to get frustrated.

“Tai! I’m telling you, I fucking hate myself, okay? I hate my body! And, sometimes, I hate you for pretending to love something that I know you hate, too!”

He pulled you away from him, looking you in the eye. He was serious now.

“Don’t you be puttin words in my mouth. I have never ever, not even once thought about hating you or your body,”

“That’s a lie, Tai! How could you ever love me when I look like this?”

“How could you ever love me when I look like this?” he retorted, gesturing to his fat form. 

You gasped. You didn’t really have an answer.

He knew you wouldn’t, either.

“So, now tell me, y/n... what’s so wrong about being fat?”

You clung to him, apologizing in between sobs.

He hushed you, cooing,” There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, it’s okay. I love you, sweetie.”

You sniffed, “I love you, too.”

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 43 - watching notes

The sun is setting on this show for me and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet 😔

(As if I will! Ha. Imma blog about nothing else the next ... probably years)

Last time on Sophie watches the untamed: We're still in the restricted section. The twin love-struck idiots of lan and wwx found the Collection of turmoil and suspect Jin Guangyao of intentionally bringing about Nie Mingjue's qui deviation.

As much as I love the "hihi. Wwx is wearing his boyfriend's underrobe" aspect of this, I also like the visual incorporation of lwj's colour scheme into wwx's clothes. (Not just through the undertone, his black tone also has slight grey seam.) It's as if now that they are finally fully committed to each other, wwx is displaying it for all the world to see

Jin Guangyao tore out a page to hide the evidence. That's not how to do that!!!

My heart is breaking for Lan Xichen. He looks like a man standing on a train track and watching the light speed towards him in horror while he's unable to move away

Feels like exactly no one on this show is getting their happy ending

*thinks about yi city and cries forever*😭😭😭

"Wangji, Jin Guangyao,in my eyes, is a totally different person from how you and other people see him." And we all know that lwj knows exactly what that's like

PARALLELS! 😭

(Sorry, I have a thing for those)

And lwj looks so pained

Thinking about it, it's now the man lwj loves against the man lxc loves (in whatever way. I still ship them. Not sure if its "canonically" romantic though). They can't both be right, so ... one of them is going to get their heart broken

Great, first the Yunmeng brothers, now the lan brothers are breaking my heart 🥺

Lwj says he's visiting "Grand Master", that's Lan Qiren right? What happened to him anyway? Haven't seen him in ages

I love how, even though it is wwx's word against jgy's right now, lan Xichen is still genuinely kind towards wwx

The whipping scars! I hadn't even thought about those anymore 😳

I'm probably going to get my heart ripped out soon, but before that

"You are not qualified to talk to me."

Sickest. Burn. Ever.

Also, no disrespect to the actor, but that's a backpfeifengesicht if I've ever seen one

(Backpfeifengesicht: "German compound word for a 'face that should be slapped'. Ex:. When GWB smirks on TV, my German friend Uwe tells me that he sees a 'Backpfeifengesicht'." Urban dictionary)

He went to burial mount after wwx was killed??? 🥺🥺🥺

I've noticed something with lwj. When he's distressed, he won't look people in the eye or not even at their faces, just in their very general direction. To me it seems like he almost... can't? Any thoughts on that? Cause I'm intrigued but I can't think about it too much right now cause I'm already writing half an essay in this commentary again 😅

Oh fuck YOU Jiggy!!!

Holy shit ... holy shit

Lan Wangji 🥺🥺🥺

He fought against everyone?

This is how he showed his grieve???

He went to the place wei Wuxian had called home and ... what? Protected or ot so they wouldn't desecrate it? To search for him? To ... what?

Oh god, Wangji! 😭

That image... I'm speechless. It's so powerful

He's half-mad with grieve and kneeling in the ruins of his dead loves home, having fought himself to exhaustion and I'm... not okay 😭😭😭

He had to repent for THREE YEARS??

Oh no, you don't

Holy ...

Holy shit

How can my heart break and be so full at the same time 💔🥺

Lan Wangji ... my love

I'm ... so proud of him and yet so sad

Here he is at his lowest, finally standing up to the orthodoxy he knows to be wrong

This is inhumane 😳

The corporal punishment of the lan sect always was but THIS

Fuck them

Or Lan Qiren specifically

That's his nephew. How can he even look at himself?

"Eradicate evil. Establish laws. Than goodness will be everlasting."

IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY!!!

WHAT EVEN IS "GOODNESS"? WHOSE VERSION OF GOODNESS? DEVINE EVIL! HOW FAR REACHING INTO THE PRIVATE SVERE SHOULD THUSE LAWS BE? DOES IT STOP AT "DON'T STEAL FROM PEOPLE OR AT "DON'T PICK YOUR NOSE AT DINNER"?

what I'm saying is: there are about 200 ethical question ls being raised by this rule alone!

And now lan Wangji had 3 tears to contemplate them

Wwx asking "why would he bother ...?" BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVED YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!

Ohhh! We're getting their parents' story 😱

Oh this IS a Lan episode 💙

So another Lan falling quickly and never looking back?

I'm sensing a pattern here 🤨

Wait what?

Let me get this straight:

Their father loved a woman who DID NOT love him back and then killed one of his teachers

(And I hope we find out why. That sounds like there is a REALLY interesting story there)

Then he takes her to cloud recess and DESPIT HER NOT LOVING HIM, marries her, fathers two children with her (um... how voluntary was that????) locks her up (as punishment for the murder?) then locks HIMSELF up and then fucks of and leaves his children with their uncle

What kind of disaster human being was their dad????

Did he do the right thing WHEN HE MARRIED AND PROBABLY RAPED A WOMAN WHO DIDN'T LOVE HIM???

NO!!!

The fuck kinda question is that ??

If you have to marry her against her will and then lock her up, guess what? That's not love, that's wanting to possess someone

I hope that maybe the connotation is different in the og Chinese,but I'm not holding out much hope

That explains why Qiren is such a lovely character through 😒

But god, my heart breaks for lwj and lxc :'(

Little Lan Wangji!!! 🥺🥺🥺

Oh darling ...

Oh no ...

Look at him look at his crooked little headband😭😭😭

He went there every month!!!

Oh Wangji 💔💔

Stubborn, steadfast, loving Wangji!

That seals it. I KNEW why he was my favourite character

He isn't so passive all the time, because he feels too little! He feels entirely too much!!! 😭😭😭

And that explains why lwj was so worried about wwx's demonic cultivation harming him!!! 😭

Oh god, it was such an old hurt for him. I had no idea 🥺🥺🥺

All of these characters need a therapist

Lxc playing the flute to what ... deal with his emotions? Express his grieve? Remeber their mother? (And god, do I want to know more about her!!) Either way, It's making me tear up 😥

"It's so difficult to determine others personalities depending on our perspective." Welcome to the human condition, my friend 💙

And that's love

I ... wish I could show you my face right now

I'm smiling through tears right now

It's so utterly beautiful

He looks so vulnerable here! With his hair (almost) down

And given what we've just learned, that's remarkable!!!

He closed himself off became the immovable stone-faced second Jade of Lan and yet, somehow, wwx wormed his way into his heart and sure, both of them needed to overcome a lot, but here they are, vulnerable and open,not letting their parent's fate decide theirs

I'm... *sniff*

I can never get enough of lwj with his hair like this!!

It's so domestic, so soft

And look at his face! 😭

And mister "alcohol is prohibited" is now serving it 😭

Oh my god this scene is so beautiful

I'm speechless

Was the second flute Jin Guangyao as well?

At this point I'm just expecting more plot-twists

He looks so young! 🥺

Both of them are exhibiting so much growth in this episode!! Wwx realising that the fact that the cultivation world had always looked for a scapegoat and that he himself was just the most convenient target, that it's not to any personal failing of his, that's HUGE!

And I'm so proud of him :')

Lwj starting to play in the distance :')

This is so utterly peaceful

My heart is bursting 😭😭😭

The music, the scenery ...

Also, both thinking they have a clean conscious!!! 😭😭😭

Again, it's them holding the same morals that's important! I cannot tell you how happy that makes me!

(But wwx still cannot drink like a normal person :D)

The contrast to lxc sitting alone couldn't be starker 😔

Wait, why are there puppets at burial mounds again?

Are we going back to burial mounds? I'm weirdly excited 😅

Aaand Jin Guangyao just proved to them that he's lying. Poor Xichen

Yup, I'm pretty sure his heart just snapped in half

Little Apple!!! I've missed him 😁

Gosh, they're laying it on thick with the domestic husband bliss this episode and I'm here for it.

I love lwj's soft smile when he looks at bunnies so much!! 🥰

Bunnies, bunnies everywhere

It's the invasion of the bunnies

Who ever is the show runner *banging pots and pans together* IT'S GAY!! cab you all hear me? These two love each other! It's G - A - Y!!! Gay!!!

Probably

Lwj's shocked look when wwx says that he's not popular with little animals, as if to say "how dare they!" :D

Holy shit ... HOW MANY SCENES CAN THEY INCLUDE IN THIS EPISODE THAT MAKE THEM LOOK SO GODDAMN MARRIED???

Is wwx sitting side saddle?

Wwx plays wangxian :')

He finally remembers how lwj recognized him :')

Sneaky, show, very sneaky :D

Wwx about to casually steal some melons, lwj *wordlessly takes out money* ^^

MIANMIAN!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!

I'd given up hope that we'd see her again!!!

I'm so happy I could burst!!!

Lwj's little exasperated head-shake before he stands up from crouching behind some hay 😂

Aww, look at her family! 😍😍😍

She build her own live :')

And look at this badass woman protecting the ones she loves!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WEI WUXIAN??? You don't remember her???

You better remember my wife!!!

Aaand another freeze frame. But I'm willing to forgive it because THIS EPISODE WAS SO GODDAMN BRILLIANT!

It made me realise why I was so drawn to lan Wangji as a character. Of course he is mu favourite character! He ticks every single box

Let me explain. My favourite characters almost always share the following characteristics: seems either cold and distant or ethereal and aloof, as if they are above such puny human things like feelings™️(bonus if they're actually not human and their argument is "I'm [insert species]. We can't feel [insert emotion they are definetly feeling very strongly]"). then, over the course of the story, we (along with they themselves because they were in denial) discover that it's not that they feel too little, they feel entirely too much. They're a sea of emotions so deep that the surface is calm, but don't you dare be near them when the storm is coming because all hell will break loose. (extra bonus point if that storm involves them rebelling against the oppressive society they were born into and adhered to until then because they realise their consciousness won't allow it any longer.) afterwards they realise that making themselves vulnerable once in a while is actually a good thing and they proceed to fuck the Rebel™️ who they've secretly been in love with the entire time, a feeling they only now allow themselves to act on

The last part sadly isn't always canon, but who has ever had time for that?

You know what this episode made me realise most of all? The Lan sect are just as human as the rest of them. In fact, they seem to be especially prone to acting rashly on strong emotions. (I don't remember the exact story, but didn't the founder of the Lan sect also have some kind of tragic love story?) It should be obvious, but the impression you get is that they are so detached from their wants, so rigorous and disciplined in their righteousness, that they are almost super-human. But no. Thise 3000 and some rules? They weren't born out of some enlightened mind that had the secret of live figures out, they're a crutch. Abiding by them without question rids one of responsibility to make even the tiniest moral choice for oneself. But that won't work because a) they're bounty to contradict each other at some point and b) that's not how human beings work. They're messy and unpredictable and beautifully complicated. The way Lan Qiren choses to apply them, he completely disregards that. At that point, the rules aren't there anymore to grant a harmonious society, but simply for their own sake. (Or maybe as a wall to hide behind)

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose

I think this liveblog has been the longest so far. I'm sorry for going on so many tangents, but lwj's backstory hit me really hard. I hope you guys weren't too bored 💚

(I also apologise for the mountains of typos that probably accumulated in this post. I'm too tired to check.)

[fanatic1997]

Fireworks

Summary: You need a date to your family’s cookout and your roommate, Tom Holland, happens to be a pretty decent actor. However, he also happens to be the guy you’ve been crushing on for months.  

Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Fluff (No FFF spoilers) 

Here’s just a small blurb. I should be updating my other stories but hopefully this will help me get out of my writers block. Let me know what you all think!

You wrung your hands nervously as you stood outside your roommates door. You had practiced how to ask Tom for days now to accompany you to your families cookout on 4th of July. In all honesty, you had worried you wouldn’t recover from the emotional distress you would feel if he would say no to pretending to be your boyfriend. I mean, that would basically put on a billboard that he didn’t like you in that way and that would hurt.

“Hey Tom,” you walked into your roommates bedroom and instantly regretted your decision of not knocking as you walked into a freshly showered Tom wrapped in only a towel hanging much too low on his hips.

He yelped and you turned away immediately. You could feel your face flush and you felt hot all over. Even though you had turned away from Tom, you still covered your eyes with your hands.

As if you could ever wash away the image of a shirtless, wet Tom from your memory.

This didn’t help your crush on your adorable roommate at all. Well crush was much too strong of a word. You would call it an   emotional inclination to your roommate slash best friend. Yup, that’s all it was, a small soft spot in your heart for Tom that was totally rational since he was such a sweet, good looking friend.

Crap. Even you didn’t believe yourself. You had it bad for your roommate.

Tom chuckled, pulling your hands that covered your eyes softly back down to your sides. “I’m decent now,” he laughed slightly.  He felt his ego rise seeing your blush. His plan was working.

He had been working up his courage to ask you out for months now. He actually had feelings for you since before you had moved in. Tom had wormed his way into getting you to move in with him and he had worked hard to plant his seeds of you finally seeing him in a romantic light for months now.

Your flush returned when Tom didn’t move away from you and held you hands in his. This was doing wonders to your heart.

“My family is having a cookout tonight. And they’ve been nagging me to bring a date. And you’re a pretty decent actor so could you do this for me. I’ll do your chores around the apartment for a month?” You rushed through, feeling your confidence waiver. You were begging by the end of it; you were tired of fending off your mother’s insistent comments of your biological clock ticking and her desire for grandkids (even though you siblings had already procreated). You were 22 for God’s sake. Your biological clock was not ticking at all, but your mother was still persistent.

Tom put a hand on his chest “decent, I’m better than decent darling.” You rolled your eyes at his cocky attitude.

Tom pretended to ponder your proposition. He absolutely would never pass up on this opportunity but he enjoyed making you squirm. “So we have to hold hands, call each other pet names and kiss,” Tom raised an eyebrow questioningly.

You felt the heat rise again in your cheeks. “We can avoid the latter by saying that we don’t like PDA,” you sate lamely. And you watched Tom ponder your proposition some more.

You felt regret wash over you. He was going to say no and you panicked. “I mean you don’t have to say yes. I can ask Harrison or maybe just put up with every body’s comments one more holiday,” You backed up to his door, trying to end this awkward conversation quickly and make a mad dash before you were overwhelmed with your emotions at having his rejection.

Tom felt jealousy pit in his stomach at the idea of you taking Harrison instead of him to your family’s get together. He had never met your family before so this was going to be a big step and the idea that you would even consider taking Harrison instead of him made him upset. He wondered when you two had gotten close enough for him to be an option.

Tom shook his head, “No I’ll do it. But I want to add something to your proposition,” Tom smiled seeing your eyes light up, thankful that you wouldn’t have to put up with your families stupid comments but you squinted suspiciously at him. “I absolutely refuse to clean the restroom. You know your bad aim in the mornings,” you started and Tom chuckled holding a hand up to stop you. But his face flushed at having his lack of ability in controlling his bladder in the mornings discussed.

“I won’t tell you what it is until we drive off from your parent’s house,” Tom eyes sparkled with a new emotion he hardly ever let you see and you recognized it as flirting. Before you could ask about it however, he rushed to change the subject.

“What time are we leaving?” he asked quickly and he smiled seeing your eyes light up. He hoped this meant more to you than just a fake date. He didn’t let you agree to his new condition because he recognized your desperation and he knew you had no choice but to say yes.

It’s not like you would say no anyways. You heart soared at the thought that Tom agreed to be your fake date. _________________________

3 hours later....

You regretted bringing Tom to your family’s cookout.  Your mom wouldn’t stop harassing Tom.

“Look at his biceps sweetie. I bet he could pick you up over his shoulders” she commented as Tom sat and ate another taco, hiding his embarrassment, but he ate up the compliment. He was glad he had hit it off with your mother already. Although, he wished she would stop loading his plate up with more food. You had already whispered to him that he could say no but he refused. First impressions were everything and he need your mum to like him.

Tom had held your hand during the whole event which had passed off your relationship pretty well. Even your brother had given him the whole big brother talk.

You watched your father smile happily when Tom refused the beer he had offered him. You had rolled your eyes at your father’s overprotectiveness but you were impressed with Tom. He was really trying to get your family to like him.  

Unbeknownst to you, your mother had seen the looks Tom threw your way when you weren’t looking. She had even seen the way he held you slightly close when the first fireworks lighted up the sky. Even though she could tell some of the pet names were forced, there was an obvious chemistry between the two of you.

The two of you were now sitting next to each other, watching the fireworks light up the sky. You watched your mom load up a to go plate for Tom since it was already getting late and you laughed. Tom had laid on the charm quiet thick but you appreciated him.

“I’ve never seen my mom this friendly to any of my other dates before,” you smiled and Tom only shrugged before a spike of jealousy hit him.

“How many have you brought home to meet your mum,” he asked casually, taking a sip of his coke.

“Well actually” you pondered the question. You never really had brought home a date. You had been picked up by dates before but you never really had introduced them to your mother. “I think it’s just you now that I think about it,” you said a little embarrassed.

You watched Tom smile before leaning in and pecking you on your cheek.

The fireworks were coming to an end and you felt your heart pick up its pace since Tom hadn’t leaned away. He stayed a few milimeters from your face and you noticed his eyes glance down to your mouth for a fraction of a second before he leaned in ever so slightly.

“What I want in exchange for this is a date tomorrow, a real one,” he whispered.

Your only answer was to lean in and place your lips onto his. Tom surprise washed away quickly and he reached up to caress the nape of your neck and to hold you steady.

Tom’s lip moved over yours expertly. He nipped at your bottom lip, asking for access and you were just about to give it to him when you heard shuffling behind you.

You stopped immediately, frozen when you remembered that you were technically not alone.

“Oh don’t mind me sweetie, I’ll go back inside. You guys can continue,” you mother threw the both of you a wink before walking back into the house. You heard her say something about grandkids before she disappeared.

You laughed. “I think my mom will be really disappointed if I don’t bring you home for the holidays.”

“I think I’ll be dissapointed if you don’t bring me for the holidays love,” Tom smirked before once again capturing your lips with his. 

[skullsandwineglasses]

To Dear Myself Review/Rant

If you’ve had the patience to watch all 45 episodes until the end, then you probably know what I’m going to talk about in this review. I feel like it’s pretty unanimous that the ending was awful. 

It’s a slow burn slice-of-life drama. I don’t normally watch these types of dramas and instead go for the ones that are fantastical and far away from reality so that I can completely get lost in another world. But Liu Shishi and Zhu Yilong are familiar faces, and I’m more likely to start a bad drama with familiar actors than a good drama with unfamiliar actors, because I’m basic and want to invest as little attention and mental effort as possible (it takes work to warm up to new faces). 

The drama started off promising: it introduced obstacles that normal couples and families would face. Obstacles like money, social class, infidelity, unemployment, workplace competition, the value and desirability of “aging” women who prioritize work over love. It was relatable, even though some of these are unfamiliar experiences for me, a psychology grad student in her mid-20s. I didn’t expect this drama to be inspiring. I didn’t want this drama to be inspiring. But I wanted it to be at least logical, if not realistic. The drama seemed to promise reality though, which I held out hope for, but instead it butchered the character arc for most of the leads. 

[spoilers ahead]

The devolution of Li Si Yu and Chen Yi Ming’s relationship was laughable. 

LSY is afraid of marriage, while CYM believes that the ultimate goal in life is to get married and have a family. They don’t see eye to eye on this, and so the pressure causes them to break up. I respect this. It’s a common problem: you can’t really move forward when one isn’t ready to settle down, and the other isn’t willing to wait or support them. CYM is portrayed as a calm, composed, and morally upright person who feels uncomfortable when LSY makes a questionable decision. But CYM is also a hypocritical person who suppresses his feelings. Whenever he’s displeased, he acts as thought everything is fine until he can’t hide it anymore and explodes with unbidden rage. He punches the roof of the car, he slams the desk. It’s a little scary tbh. LSY is portrayed as a passionate and impulsive career-driven woman. She has to make tough decisions, and you understand why she makes them. Whenever she’s unhappy, she’ll let you know. The drama seems to set up a character development arc for these two flawed characters. 

LSY starts her own company, but then fails, and ends up learning that while it’s important to fight for what you believe in, but you shouldn’t be too caught up in whether your fail or succeed. It’s the classic “it’s about the journey, not the destination” kind of lesson. 

After a bout of heartbreak, CYM is swept off his feet by the manipulative Wang Ziru. She lies to him, evades him, controls him. At this point in the drama, we think that LSY is better off without him because he seemed to have moved on so swiftly. CYM and WZR seem to have a calmer relationship than the one he had with LSY. They never argue. We see that he’s easily attracted to confident, powerful women, but expects them to settle down with him when they’re not ready. For a third of the drama, he’s happily in love with WZR and doesn’t think about or interact with LSY (except when he comes to her office to tell her to shut her company “for her own good”). It looks like he completely moved on.

LSY on the other hand, misses him. She’s always looking at the only picture that she’s saved of them together. She still loves him. 

I liked that they introduced Guan Xiao Tong as a potential love interest for LSY. Despite being over a decade younger than LSY and constantly being looked down by her because of this, I thought he was quite mature. I also liked how LSY wasn’t “moved” by him. The typical drama would have her eventually reciprocate his feelings and make him her rebound. Yes, she was amused by him, but she knew that he wouldn’t grow up fast enough with her, and so she never led him on. It made their relationship wholesome. Even though LSY  wasn’t attracted to him, I liked how the drama normalized a potential may/december relationship between a woman and man. Though I don’t think I can forgive the drama was making him disappear so abruptly after he found out that his dad was struggling financially. Maybe the drama implied that GXT was too busy “growing up” by helping with his dad’s business so his relationship with LSY came to an end and that he was no longer relevant to drama, but that wasn’t made clear at all. 

Zhi Zhi also stopped appearing after the 3rd last episode of the drama when she decided not to marry the misogynistic Su Li Xing and to instead stay in Shanghai for her career, which also implied that there could be a chance for her and Liu Yang to get back together (their storyline is a whole other can of worms, but I have to admit that no other drama, movie, or book has made me cry as hard as Zhi Zhi confronting the mistress and then getting publicly slapped by her husband. Not sure if it was the drama itself that had the power to move me, or if it was because I watched that scene at 3am on a Thursday, or because it reminded me of some personal experiences, but either way, I sobbed hella hard that night).

But back to LSY and CYM. In the last 2 episodes of the drama, they start appearing together in scenes again. There are some unresolved emotions. There is still attraction. Nervous, longing, awkward glances. After nearly 20 episodes of believing that a reconciliation is impossible, you start wondering if the drama is hinting that they’re gonna force them back together in the last 2 episodes. CYM sells his apartment to support LSY’s project. Haowen tells LSY that CYM still calls out her name when he’s drunk (although it’s still unclear if this was just a gimmick to distract her to sign the sale agreement). 

CYM can’t give WZR a straight answer about whether or not he still loves LSY. He punches Gong Jing in the face for cheating LSY out of her shares. 

And even after all this, guess what happens? He confronts WZR. She tells him she lied to him to help him preserve his dignity. She tells him she had to do underhanded, unethical things in order to save the livelihood of an entire company that she’s responsible for. He’s moved. He’s grateful for her thoughtfulness towards him. He stands by her. He chooses her. 

I mean, what? Does he really love her that much that he’s willing to look past everything she’s done? All the crimes and hurt she’s committed? I don’t need to him to get back together with LSY. I don’t want them to. I think he’s a terrible character who believes that happiness and fulfilment only comes form finding a woman who’s willing to let him love and dote on her. But this decision just doesn’t match the morally upright character we’ve been sold with at the beginning of the drama. LSY only made one morally questionable decision, of which she apologized for, and yet CYM was already questioning whether or not they should continue their relationship because he felt like they were going different ways. And yet he forgives WZR? Because he loves her? But? What about those ambiguous, uncomfortable faces he made when he was with her? Like that scene when he helped take off her coat before she went into the awards ceremony, and he stood back, leaning by the door, staring off into the distance looking sad and regretful?? What are we supposed to make of those scenes and expressions? I probably shouldn’t victim blame, especially since WZR created an uneven power dynamic in their (lowkey toxic) relationship, but I’m just not sure what the scriptwriter was trying to do with this plotline. It felt like they were condoning WZR’s behaviour (despite saying she was arrested in a voiceover) because CYM forgave her. Or were they condemning CYM’s passiveness? Again, not clear.

And then the final scene with the women marching on happy and hopeful, and then men staring out onto the city skyline looking lost and depressed? Female empowerment is great, and it was nice that they were all single at the end (except for Xiao Ling, I guess), but was it really necessary to tear men down to emphasize this? But then again, the drama kind of had to since they wrote shitty male characters. I just dislike creating the winner/loser dichotomy. 

I respect that Liu Yang is working his way towards forgiveness and has found what he’s passionate about. But I don’t know if he’s forgivable, because what he did was pretty unforgivable, but he’s showing growth and is working towards redemption, which is somewhat admirable. 

Haowen went from being the most level-headed one to becoming the most impulsive and obsessive one. 

CYM is just blank. Absolutely blank. There is nothing interesting about him. At first you pity him for being the one who’s always chasing after LSY and being the one to give in first for the sake of the relationship, but then you realize that he’s just trying to mold himself into what he thinks is the “ideal” boyfriend, which he thinks is someone who is able to succeed without the help of his girlfriend. He thinks it’s weak to rely on the help of his girlfriends, which is ironic since most of the career moves he made in the drama were directly because of his girlfriends. 

Anyway, I could just go on about how much I didn’t enjoy this drama, and other people on youtube and mydramalist have ranted more eloquently about this. I usually don’t write drama reviews unless there’s something I’m deeply unhappy about. 

My recommendation? Don’t watch this. But if you’re curious, don’t be afraid to jump and skip scenes. There are no likable characters. Even Zhi Zhi doesn’t start to become likable until she decides to leave her husband. Is this a feminist drama? Yes to the extent that it normalizes women in their 30s who are single and career-driven (which is a pretty big deal in China where unmarried women over 25/27 are considered “leftover” women), but I’m just not sure whether the plot does justice to these women. The verdict is still out on that. Thoughts?

Oh and one final qualm that I have with this drama is the LSY and WZR never had a final face-to-face confrontation. After everything that WZR did to LSY, LSY never got to interrogate WZR. WZR could have even gave LSY some final parting words. Instead, CYM took LSY’s place and the drama made it seem that WZR was only answerable to him and no one else. There was just absolutely no closure from this messy, messy drama.

[ereri-lost-and-found]

Heyy so first of all I wanted to tell you guys that your blog is so good ! Aaah it's nice to have so many people willing to dedicate themselves to help fans find ereri fics :') and your 100th follower giveaway !! You are just adorable

Why, hello there little Strawberry! Your kind words just put you on our ‘nice’ list! These ereri elves were determined to make you a list that makes it feel like the Holidays! Please take a peek below for an early Christmas gift from us to you; we won’t tell Santa!

While this is our first list of Christmas fics, please feel free to comment below and share with us some of your favorites! Tis the season to share ereri, fa la la la la fa la la la. 🎶🎄🦌⛄

A Christmas Carol by FraBee

(Rated E, 22 456words, complete)

Levi Ackerman hated a lot of things: people, dirt, noise, crowded spaces, wasting his money on things like paying his employees, getting together with his relatives…But there came a time of they year in which all these things came together, a time he despised with a passion: Christmas.Which was, undoubtedly, the dumbest, most expensive and irritating holiday of them all.So, like every year, he refused to go spend time with his nephew (Farlan Church) and made his secretary (Eren Jaeger) stay in the office ‘till late on Christmas Eve, not caring if the younger had plans that night.He knew everyone hated him, avoided him, but that’s exactly what Levi wanted: to be left alone.But on that Christmas Eve the spirit of his dead colleague (Erwin Smith) and three others (Historia Reiss as the ghost of Christmas past, Sasha Brauss as the ghost of Christmas present, and I have no idea who the ghost of Christmas to Come is) will change his mind, but most importantly his heart.

a modern day christmas carol by acidtowns (Rated T,10 774 words, complete)

Three spirits visit Levi on Christmas Eve to tell him to get his life together.

Christmas at the Ackermans by zhedang (Rated T, 8 611words, complete)

An incredibly self-indulgent fic in which Mikasa asks Eren to do her a favor and go pick up her “sort of” cousin Levi from the airport and oh no, he’s hot.

Christmas Cleaning by raindrop_rouge (Rated G,2 361 words, complete)

Christmas has come and gone, and Levi only has one thing in mind: cleaning up. Eren, however, does not seem 100% devoted to cooperating.

Baby It’s Cold Outside! by ReluctantHero (Not Rated, 8 603words, complete)

Eren has been a huge fan of Actor Levi Ackerman since he was a child.Now he’s doing his first big roll on a TV Christmas movie and get to work with his long time idol.Will they hit it off?

sit it out by elliewritesthings (Rated T, 14 081words, complete)

However, when he steps out from between the shelves he freezes in place, brows furrowing as he stares at the chair, his chair, that’s currently being occupied by someone that is not him.Well, that’s unusual, he thinks. During the current semester, Eren has never seen anyone sitting in his chair. In fact, the seats by the window are rarely taken, and even now there are plenty of available ones just few feet away, but Eren wants this one. Annoyance bubbles up inside him as he glares at the person who’d so rudely stolen his chair. Though all he can see is the back of the guy’s head, Eren can tell that he’s a grade A asshole.

Sweeter Than Expected by inkshaming (Not Rated, 18 144words, complete)

Though he had the best of intentions, Levi finds himself out of his depth when it comes to expressing his new-found affection for a college student who’s a little down on his luck. He’s about to find out that, when it comes to Eren, there’s really no such thing as ‘too sweet.’An Accidental Sugar-Daddy AU.

home for christmas by elliewritesthings (Rated M,7 069words, complete)

He’s so not over it, Levi surmises, slumping down on the table as he keeps stealing glances in Eren’s direction. Damn it, the man has only gotten more handsome while he’s been gone, that bright, beaming smile and those lively eyes making Levi’s heart beat faster even though he’s all the way on the other side of the room. There are a couple of new gray hairs at his temples, and Levi figures it tells quite a lot about him that he’s able to spot something that minor from across the room. Coming back had been a terrible mistake because he can feel himself falling all over again and it’s even worse the second time around - he’s an adult now, for fuck’s sake, and it’s downright ridiculous that he’s still not over his little crush.

Homebound by Gootbuttheichou (Rated E,6 546words, complete)

When Michigan is hit by a blizzard, Levi and Eren find that they are unable to fly back to their home state for Christmas- so they make do by celebrating it on their own.

Murphy Christmas by SimplyTsundere (Rated T, 5 739words, complete)

After adopting two unfortunately mischievous kittens, Veterinarian Eren Jaeger discovers his new neighbor isn’t the most friendly person when he gets awoken by kittens screaming in his face. The straight-laced, attractive man scoffs at his presence and goes on about his morning. Eren feels terrible for the first impression and decides that he should apologize properly: with some wine. He returns that afternoon to apologize only to wind up in a series of unfortunate events. Little did he know that his fateful meeting would lead to much more than a bloody nose, a glass of wine, and a proposition.

Check Me Out by Attack_On_Feelings (delsol) (Rated E, 6 219words, complete)

Itchy green polos, bailing coworkers, rude suburban moms, and one very attractive costumer.Based on the prompt: Some asshole customer is screaming at you for doing your job and I can tell that you really want to yell back but I’m assuming you can’t so excuse me I’ll do it for you

Wasabi, Or All the Things We Leave Behind by Silicu (silmil) (Rated M,4 916words, complete)

Levi hates Chriastmas, Eren loves hot chocolate, Hanji is going to suffer and Mikasa is creepy. Oh, and Erwin and Armin might take over the world.

Late Night Coffee by iStygianEmpress (iDarkEmpress) (Rated T,7 390words, complete)

For days, Levi has been receiving gifts from an anonymous sender.  He doesn’t have any idea about who the sender is, but whoever it is seems to know him very well.Levi also has a crush on Eren Yeager, his daily late night customer who seems to worm his way to his heart.Gifts, jealousy and couple sweaters ensues.Who knows? It may become his warmest Christmas.

Endearing Proposal by sweetkokoro (Rated M,3 151words, complete)

Levi and Eren spend their Christmas Eve in downtown Chicago. They’re in Navy Pier and do many fun activities. Towards the end of the day they head towards the big Christmas tree and there, Eren makes an endearing proposal.

Frozen Nipples by BreadHood (Rated G,902words, complete)

Winter is coldHange is annoyingLevi is pissedand his nipples are frozenso why not look for a boyfriend along the way?

Holiday Happenstance by slugworthingtonjr (Not Rated,3 551words, complete)

Eren always waits until the last minute to do his Christmas shopping, and it always sucks. This year however, he manages to collide with another shopper, sending the man’s coffee everywhere. It should’ve made the night worse, but somehow it made it better.

Titan Trees by sciencefictioness (Rated M,5 492 words, complete)

Eren found the perfect Christmas tree for the house. Or he thought he had, until Levi shot him down brutally. Now Levi needs to find a way to make it up to Eren.

C'est la vieby joouheika (Rated E, 11 641 words, complete)

Eren’s cousin Krista just had to come out on Christmas day.

Of Mistletoe and Shitty Fake Boyfriends by TheSpazzBot (Rated T, 13 819words, complete)

Eren wouldn’t say they were friends. Hell, he wouldn’t even say they were acquaintances. But he supposes that ‘Fake Boyfriend’ does have a ring to it.

[summerseachild]

Because I am a glutton for punishment, I rewatched season 3.

The story so far: For those of you following along, I’ve been gearing up for watching the GoT I haven’t seen (the back half of season 5 and beyond) by rewatching the stuff I HAVE seen. It’s been... an experience. I’m coping with my fury by squeeing over the things I loved and foaming at the mouth over the things I hated. 

The finale aired between my season 2 and 3 rewatch, and I am full of snark, but everything is also hilarious.

3x01

1. GHOST IS THE GOODEST BOY. Also everyone BE NICER TO SAM. Every time I see Kit and Rose together on screen I go, “Awww they’re gonna be married.” So happy this show brought them together.

2. Ciarán Hinds as Mande Rayder was SUCH epic good casting. I want to watch all of Rome now.

3. Davos is a salty old cat with nine lives and I was SO happy to see him alive. And then he RISKS ONE OF THEM being loyal to Stannis. That’s some Ned Stark levels of honor.

4. Michael McElhatton’s voice is so amazingly creepy I love and hate it all at the same time.

5. That first scene we get with Tyrion and Tywin is A LOT. Tyrion just wants a little bit of recognition and it’s SO SAD. (Also how did Tywin have the lions put up in his office so soon? SO EXTRA.) And wtf is up with Tywin intimating that Tyrion might be a bastard? So glad they dropped that. Who ended up Lord of Casterly Rock though? DOes AnYoNE EveN CaRE?

6. Sansa and Shae playing the game with the ships is... so cute. We overly imaginative people have all had that friend like Shae who’s like WHAT IS THE POINT OF PRETENDING.

7. Ok teenage Drogon cooking his food in midair before eating it was pretty cool.

8. Is that the Stranger on the wall of the building where Margaery talks to the orphans? In the middle of the seven pointed star? It looks CREEPY.

9. The epic Queen-off between Margaery and Cersei IS ON. (For the record Cersei’s armor dress is FANTASTIC.) Also, Jack Gleeson saying “charitable” like it’s a word in a foreign language he’s never heard before is GREAT.

10. You can see the seeds of Missandei being a fantastic diplomat for Queen Daenerys. :( Also, I wonder if Jorah knows she speaks Valyrian as he watched all of this unfold...

3x02

1. I wonder if what Talisa says about how Westerosi are viewed across the narrow sea, as barbarians who smell, is accurate. It makes sense...

2. OH SHIT THEON GETTING TORTURED IS IN THIS EPISODE I WAS NOT READY

3. Latest on a List of insults Brienne puts up with from Jaime: “giant towheaded plank.” He is such a shit. And the way he SWITCHES on a dime from so obviously baiting her to being DEAD serious with the “we don’t get to choose who we love” line... so very him.

4. Sansa and the Tyrells! Those gardens are SO incredibly pretty, and Diana Rigg is SO GOOD as Olenna. May I have half her wit when I’m her age. Getting info out of Sansa on Joffrey was SMART.

5. I love that we get a sense that there are different cultures and languages North of the Wall.

6. HOLY SHIT HI MACKENZIE CROOK I FORGOT YOU WERE IN THIS YOU ADORABLE STRING BEAN.

7. Reeeeeds! Jojen and Mira were so exciting when we first met them...

8. BROTHERHOOOOOD Without Banners SO COOL. And underused.

9. Jaime and Brienne are AT A BRIDGE and NOTHING IS OK enjoy the hand while you have it ,Jaime my love.

3x03

1. Lannister family musical chairs is SO GREAT and Tyrion and Cersei have SUCH BITCHY FACES AT EACH OTHER.

2. They tell Chuck Norris jokes about Brynden the Blackfish, don’t they.

3. Stannis: Men have been trying to kill me for years. Me: Well maybe they need to send a WOMAN TO DO IT. (yeeeeaaaaah Brienne)

4. Dany is a woman with a plan and watching Jorah and Ser Barristan freak out about her possibly giving up one of her dragons is kind of funny.

5. I had forgotten how COMMITTED Ramsay is to his “helping Theon” ruse.” Fuuuuuck.

6. Jaime losing his hand DOES NOT GET ANY EASIER TO WATCH.

3x04

1. Jaime Lannister and the No Good Very Bad Deathwish huuuurts meee. It’s so good Brienne was around.

2. Varys and the sorcerer in a box.... SO CREEPY. Do we ever get resolution on that?? Anyway it made me flat out terrified of the implacability of Varys’ revenge at the time, and Conleth Hill PLAYS IT.

3. The Sept is SO PRETTY way to go CGI folks. That whole scene is just GORGEOUS with the light framing Margaery and Joffrey and Cersei moving in and out of shadow...

4. Theon’s “all he had to do was be” re: Robb hit me RIGHT IN THE FEELS also wow show Theon was really Gay For Robb and you will not convince me otherwise. (Watching him pour his heart out to Ramsay makes me physically ill... whYyYYy am I sober...)

5. I still maintain that show Brienne is WAAAAAY meaner than book Brienne about Jaime’s “leave me alone I’m dying” phase in ways that are really out of character and I HATE IT. Also losing a HAND is not “a little bit of misfortune.” And SHE WOULD UNDERSTAND THAT.

6. Cersei being like “I’ve been listening more than your sons” to Tywin. And Tywin being an ASSHOLE in response instead of FUCKING TELLING HER HOW TO DO BETTER with Joffrey makes me so angry.

7. “If Robb Stark falls Sansa Stark is the key to the North” YOU DON’T SAY VARYS

8. I am... sadder than I remember being about Jeor Mormont dying.

9. I. Like. Anguy. What HAPPENED to him? Also Beric is... intense, but I love him. (And Thoros was IN THE KEEP the day the baby Targaryens died?)

10. And ARYA GETTING TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT MYCAH TO ADULTS WHO LISTEN YES GOOD.

11. Dany hands that Dragon over COOL AS A CUCUMBER WHAT A QUEEN and theN the reveal that she SPEAKS FLUENT VALYRIAN AND DRACARYS AND I THINK I LOVE HER EVEN MORE OUT OF SPITE THIS TIME

3x05

1. Sandor Clegane trying to CHOP HIS OWN WOODEN SHIELD OFF HIS ARM because it’s on fire... wow. That whole scene is IMPRESSIVE. That was a fight that was TRIGGERY AS FUCK for him with all the fire and he still came out on top.

2. This is the episode where Jon and Jaime both get baths! Jon’s was a lot more fun. He got to have sex first. Jaime’s is preceded by being like “take any more of my arm than you have to and die” to Qyburn and a lot of screaming.

3. I CAN BE YOUR FAMILY ALSHAKDHSAG I AM SO ANGRY ARYA AND GENDRY DON’T END UP IN THE SAME PLACE. IT DIDN’T HAVE TO BE SCHMOOPY IT JUST NEEDED TO BE TOGETHER.

4. Every time I see Catelyn looking empty and far away in these scenes I see the Lady Stoneheart that could have been.

5. ROBB DON’T TRY TO BE YOUR DAD LISTEN TO YOUR MOM AND WIFE AND UNCLE. UGH RICHARD’S ACTING IN THAT EXECUTION SCENE THOUGH IT HURTS ME.

6. Beric Dondarion’s voice is amazing. I’m noticing voices more this time around...

7. Shireen Baratheon! What a precious little Princess! Her friendship with Davos is the best thing ever and SHE DESERVED BETTER.

8. Jaime and Brienne in the bath is funny when Jaime’s a shit until it gets very very serious and everything hurts and both of them are better actors than this show deserved. Jaime remembering URGING AERYS TO SURRENDER PEACEFULLY MAKES WHAT HAPPENS IN THE END HURT. He... hasn’t told that story to many people in its entirety and aaaaahhhh my feelings and him telling Brienne MY NAME IS JAIME I CANNOT WITH THEM.

9. Grey Worm is so handsome, and the more I see of Jacob Anderson in the behind the scenes stuff the more awesome he gets.

10. Ugh Cersei my love don’t be so smug about Tyrion and Sansa (Also Tyrion BRINGING UP TYSHA HOLY SHIT I FORGOT) Cersei and Tyrion both look so miserable at the end of that scene I just want to FUCKING THROTTLE TYWIN. Which is how I felt in the books here so KUDOS TO ALL INVOLVED.

3x06

1. I LOVE that we get to hear the Faith of the Seven’s version of “Jesus loves me” and I love that it’s Sam who sings it.

2. Meera holding Jojen while he has his vision/seizure like she’s done it a thousand times before... so sweet. I love that taking care of those who need it is just... part of who she is, and we need more people who are caring AND badass.

3. I forgot that Arya got an archery lesson from Anguy and I love it.

4. Melisandre being like WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU RAISED BERIC SIX TIMES to Thoros is great. Who knows what any of that means now but in the moment wow. Also WTF I FORGOT THEY GAVE GENDRY TO MELISANDRE

5. Ygritte asking Jon if he’s staring at her ass while climbing is so great. Way to know how good you look, girl!

6. Everyone at Riverrun: GROW UP EDMURE.

7. Jaime Being like BRIENNE DO NOT STAB BOLTON I GOT THIS = friendship goals

8. Cersei and Tyrion talking about their impending miserable marriages and not being entirely awful to each other gives me a bit of joy even as I weep for all of them.

9. I laughed for a long time at Varys line calling the Iron Throne “The Lysa Arryn of chairs.”

10. That last shot of Jon and Ygritte kissing is SO PRETTY. Everything at the top of the wall is, really.

3x07: GET BEHIND ME WENCH DON’T YOU SEE THE BEAR

1. Oh GRRM wrote this one. Cool.

2. Brynden Tully calling Walder Frey a wet shit is delightful. I love him so.

3. Do we ever find out if Talisa was telling the truth about writing to her mother? Or any sort of mention of her again since she’s nobility in Volantis and it might be a thing that she got murdered? No?

4. TORMUND TALKING ABOUT FOREPLAY IS HYSTERICAL HE IS THE BOYFRIEND BRIENNE DESERVES

5. Protective Dragons are Protective

6. Please TAKE OUR SHIP AND OUR GOLD AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF ESSOS: the Yunkai emissary, basically.

7. Poor Gendry. What a way to find out your dad was King Robert... Melisandre has a flair for the dramatic.

8. Jaime is bad at goodbyes especially when Brienne called him Ser Jaime instead of Kingslayer.

9. Ygritte threatening to blacken Jon’s eye if he tears her hypothetical silk dress.. THIS is how you write a badass girl who also likes pretty things.

10. Jaime jumping into that ring and continuing to throw his influence around for Brienne... yes good. He’s lucky that bear didn’t get his FOOT TOO though. And that last “Sorry about the Sapphires” to Locke as he’s leaving.... he just can’t help himself he HAS TO POKE PEOPLE VERBALLY EVEN WHEN IT’S DANGEROUS.

3x08: the One with the Other Other Wedding

1. Travels with Sandor and Arya is such a good show.

2. Davos trying to read is SO CUTE. And Stannis coming to Davos for advice and free him says a lot about a Stannis’ character at this point in the show.

3. Hey! It’s the first Daario!

4. Tyrion tried so hard to be kind. I’m glad he and Sansa seem to end on good terms.

5. Cersei being like “I see how you are trying to be my friend and I want NONE OF IT” to Margaery and then telling the story of house Reyne is a power move.

6. Joffrey moving Tyrion’s step stool at the wedding  was a DICK MOVE but I love the look Tywin gives people who are laughing. (And Tyrion And Sansa making the best of a bad situation and Sansa weakly smiling at him when he makes the the joke about the wine before the ceremony is sweet)

7. NOBODY CARES WHAT YOUR FATHER ONCE TOLD YOU YES CERSEI MY QUEEN 👑

8. Tyrion pretending to be drunker than he was to get him and Sansa out of that room and away from Joffrey and the bedding ceremony is SO SAD but smart.

9. Sam cooing and fussing over that baby is the sweetest thing ever.

10. SAM KILLING THAT WHITE WALKER IS LIKE NEVILLE KILLING NAGINI CHANGE MY MIND WAIT YOU CANNOT HE’S SO BRAVE AND I LOVE HIM

3x09: The Rains of MY TEARS ABOUT THE RED WEDDING

I have a RUM and coke ready to go let’s do this

1. Robb asking Catelyn’s advice after he didn’t listen toher about Theon and the Ironborn :...(

2. Those POOR FREY GIRLS are they ok? I hope Arya didn’t kill any of them since they didn’t ask to be Walder the Worst’s daughters and granddaughters.

3. Grey Worm stepping into a leadership role ❤️

4. So... was Castle Black abandoned at the END of Jahaerys’ reign? I feel like the castles were mostly manned at the beginning of his reign? Gotta check on that.

5. In which Jon and Arya are both concerned about innocent small folk.

6. I FORGOT HOW CLOSE ARYA GETS TO THE TWINS

7. I ALSO FORGOT HOW CLOSE BRAN AND RICKON GOT TO JON. And... So much warging and direwolf action!

8. Daario Grey Worm And Jorah make a badass team gotta say.

9. HOLY SHIT MY WIFE JUST POINTED OUT THAT ROSLIN IS ANNE FROM THE MUSKETEERS. I knew I loved that face in a way I hadn’t before when she took off that veil!

10. Byyyyyyeeee Shaggy and Rickon and Osha!

11. Robb and Talisa decided to name the baby Eddard  right before shit went down and I am NOT OK.

12. Fuck me that song HERE WE GO FOLKS.

13. Ugh Catelyn figured out what was about to happen right before. I had forgotten that. All the things that weren’t ok any of the other times are still not ok.

14. GREYWIND NO and now the crying

15. Catelyn with her knife to that Frey girl’s throat is so desperately sad Michelle Fairley BROUGHT IT and I hate everything

3x10: Of Course I’m watching this right after the Red Wedding what do you suggest I do instead? Sit on the couch and cry? (Because that’s definitely what I was gonna do if I didn’t start the next one.)

1. I never noticed Sandor picking up the FREY banner very intentionally smart man. Which I am choosing to focus on because...

2. if I never see Robb’s body with Greywind’s head again it will be too soon.

3. Tyrion and Sansa talking about how to get back at people who laugh at them like they’re friends ❤️❤️❤️

4. Any man who must say I am the king is no true king TELL IT LIKE IT IS TYWIN.

5. Tywin: 1 Joffrey: -15 I’ve been waiting for that throwdown for a while now.

6. Tywin really believes what he’s saying about putting family first. And that STORY ABOUT NEARLY DROWNING TYRION OMG.

7. Ugh Sansa knooooows about the RW and Tyrion just walks away because he’s the last “family” she wants to see.

8. Scary stories at the Night Fort! Like the Rat King... Bran’s a good ghost story teller.

9. WHAT A TRANSITION TO WALDER FREY after all that talk of guest right

10. Can’t wait for dogs to eat Ramsay because Theon’s pleas to be killed turns my stomach and make me see red all at once LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU BASTARD

11. Oh jeez this is where we get the Reek thing in the show. Theon says his own name twice before Ramsay hurts him enough he calls himself Reek and Alfie is SO GOOD I HATE IT

12. Oh right Sam & Co are in the Nightfort too!

13. Yarra not being ok with Balon abandoning Theon GIVES ME LIFE. She’s just so disgusted with her dad AS SHE SHOULD BE.

14. Greyjoys DO NOT DO AS THEY ARE TOLD and I love Yarra.

15. Don’t talk too much shit about highborns Gendry You’re gonna be one.

16. Varys and Shae talking is SO INTERESTING. I... think Varys has some points, and I think she should have listened, taken the diamonds, and peaced out of King’s Landing.

17. That Cersei and Tyrion scene where they talk about her children keeping her alive HURTS MY SOUL SO MUCH.

18. Arya stabbing the fuck out of that Frey bragging about sewing Greywind’s head on gives me SO MUCH SATISFACTION. Also Sandor being like “TELL ME next time we’re gonna do murder, ok kid?” Is THE BEST.

19. I love that Davos is the one we get to see reading the letter Maester Aemon writes.

20. DAVOS MAKES A CHOICE AND IT’S THE RIGHT ONE. Do you know how to swim?? No. ... Don’t fall out. 😂

21. Jaime is hoooooome in King’s Lannister and I have Lannister feels spilling ALL OVER THE PLACE.

22. Oh right and Dany has a whole bunch of people calling her mom in whatever variety of Valyrian they speak in Yunkai. That was a thing. 

[ginger-and-mint]

How about ficlet where a nice vampire and his human boyfriend spend the night in the estate of an Enemy Vampire Hunter to allay his suspicions about them...which includes the poor, underfed vampire having to finish an immense meal of human food. He remains calm, eats everything, gives no sign of discomfort, and walks with his boyfriend back to their room, where he collapses on the bed because his poor belly isn't used to holding solid food and the boyfriend comforts him.

So I’ve decided that this is the same vampire from this thing I wrote before. His name is now Theo(dore).

Here’s some hasty backstory for him:

shortly after being turned, he was taken in by a group called the Coven, who taught him how to survive as a vampire.

the Coven’s schtick is that rather than exsanguinating random innocents, they create hit lists of people who’ve committed crimes and their members prey exclusively from this list as a form of vigilante justice.

eventually something happens which sours Theo to acting as judge, jury, and executioner and he leaves the Coven.

around the same time (possibly relatedly? idk yet) he meets Darren, who becomes his boyfriend

now he’s sort of living in the shadows, hiding from the Coven and other people who want to kill him, ‘cause being a lone vampire is dangerous….

CW: mentions of blood-drinking (implied to be fatal) and nausea.

Theo knew she was a vampire hunter. It was neither ignorance nor stupidity that got him to the point where he was sitting at her dining table with a fake smile plastered on his temporarily-defanged face.

The whole Coven had been terrified of her. After all, she was like something straight out of primetime TV—a successful lawyer living in a beautiful suburban home with her husband and three golden retrievers. She volunteered with underprivileged kids, made generous annual donations to the local animal shelter, and in her spare time, she tracked down vampires and killed them dead.

“If anyone in this city’s gonna kill you, it’s Selena Chang,” one of Theo’s old Coven buddies had once said. “She’s ruthless. She worms her way into your social sphere and flips the lid on your coffin, so to speak. She’s so bad that if she started tracking you tomorrow, you’d be out of the Coven until you could shake her. If you could shake her.”

“Shit, really?” Theo had said. “What would I do?”

“You’d figure something out. Or not.” A toothy grin. “The only thing you can do is convince her you’re not a vampire. Ignore her and she’ll stake you in your sleep. Try to reason with her and she’ll sweetly agree to let you go, and then stake you in your sleep. Basically, one wrong move and you’re dead meat.”

Theo had thought about that a lot since leaving the Coven. One of his small comforts was that he didn’t have much of a social sphere these days, unless you counted the late-night clerk at the corner shop where he regularly went to buy ground beef and aspirin. But he’d forgotten about Darren.

Darren still had a normal life. He didn’t think twice when a friendly new face showed up at his aerobics class and struck up a conversation. One evening, Theo had gone over to Darren’s place and found the face of his nightmares sitting on his boyfriend’s sofa with a glass of blood-red wine.

She had invited them over for dinner a week later. “My husband loves to cook. He’ll be delighted to have guests.”

“That’s kind of you, but um… the buses stop running your way pretty early,” Theo had said nervously. “And we, uh, we don’t have a car.”

“Oh, that’s no trouble,” she’d said with a smile. “You can stay the night in our guest room. We have plenty of space.”

And that’s how Theo had ended up staring down a plate mounded high with vegetarian lasagna, steamed broccoli, and creamy mashed potatoes. There was a big basket of rolls on the table and chocolate cake had been promised for dessert.

It was probably delicious. From the look on Darren’s face, the smell must’ve been irresistible. But Theo’s body reacted to it as though he were looking at a plate of spare car parts. No water in his mouth. No desire in his guts. Just a vague nauseous hunger. He’d sucked as much juice as he could from a packet of cheap ground beef that morning, but that’d been like a drop in an empty, empty bucket.

“Well, everyone,” said Selena Chang with an impenetrable smile, “dig in!”

Theo put a lump of lasagna in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. It felt like a pebble dropping into his stomach, but he sighed and smiled as though it had been delicious.

Everything was packed with garlic, of course. There were whole cloves of it in the lasagna and the potatoes had been whipped with garlic butter. Garlic wasn’t gonna kill him, but it wasn’t gonna make him feel very good either. He’d learned that very soon after he’d been bitten, when he’d woken up in the middle of the night ravaged by bloodthirst. At the time he’d mistaken it for desperate hunger and so he’d dug some garlic bread out of the freezer and devoured the whole thing. God, he’d never been so sick.

From the way his stomach was starting to feel, he guessed today would probably smash that record. But Selena Chang was staring him down and he wasn’t ready to die yet.

So he smiled and talked and ate and hurt and hurt and hurt.

- - -

As soon as the guest room door shut behind them, Theo collapsed backwards onto the bed, groaning.

“Are you okay?” Darren asked.

“Urghhhh. No.” Theo wrapped an arm over his stomach. “I can’t believe I got everything down, ugh. Feels like I’ve eaten rocks.”

“That was a lot of food. Even I’ve got a bit of a bellyache from it. Those potatoes were heavy. And that cake was—”

“Oh god, shut up. Ughhh. I need—I can’t—can you—?”

“Of course.” Darren pushed Theo’s hands away and unfastened the belt he was struggling with.

Theo groaned as his belly surged outward. It felt more like a nauseous wave rolling through his stomach than a relief. “Ohhhh, god… d’you think she’ll stake me through the heart if I puke all over her guest room?”

“Probably. Just for ruining these fabulous Egyptian cotton sheets.” Darren sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked Theo’s hair. “You did so good back there.”

“Yeah? You think I convinced her?”

“Absolutely. I almost believed you were having the best meal of your life. You didn’t look uncomfortable at all.”

“Huh. Guess I’m better actor than my high school drama teacher gave me credit for…. Oh my god, I feel so sick! Like I’m stuffed full of garbage.” Theo put a hand to the side of his belly. It was swollen. Nothing compared to how full and round it used to look after he’d had a proper feeding, but that was a different kind of swollen than this nauseous, achy misery. That was a wonderful, contented, satiated sort of swollenness….

He dropped his voice to a whisper. “I want blood.”

Darren put his hand over Theo’s, gently rubbing the bloated belly. “You want to put more into this thing?”

“I could fit a couple raw steaks in there. God, I really could.” Theo had to swallow the saliva that had filled his mouth. His stomach gurgled—stuffed full and yet still so, so hungry….

Darren stared down at him, eyes soft. “Theo… if you need to, you know I’d let you—”

“No way. I already took from you last week, I’m not gonna—”

“But I’d let you.”

“No. You need it more than I do.” He paused, taking a quick breath. “I can’t, anyway. My stomach is upset as hell and if I puke blood under this roof, I’m as good as dead.”

Darren’s fingers slipped down from Theo’s belly to one of his jutting hipbones. They slowly traced up to where his ribs were showing through his skin.

“You need a proper meal,” he said quietly. “I can see you wasting away. You can’t survive on beef drippings and a pint or two from me every other week.”

“Yeah, well, what I am supposed to do? Climb through a window and drain the nearest helpless virgin? If I take anyone from the Coven’s hit list, they’ll find me, and you know I don’t want to be like them anymore—”

“I know.” Darren slipped down to lie on the bed next to Theo. “We’ll figure something out.”

“If I murder any more people, I’d deserve a stake through the heart! I can’t let myself—”

“Theo! We’ll figure something out! Okay?”

Theo shut his mouth. He briefly considered the word we and what a beautiful, wonderful word it was.

“But we’re not gonna figure out anything out tonight, are we?” Darren went on.

Theo cleared his throat. “Maybe we could figure out how to settle a stomach that hasn’t handled any solid food in over a year?”

Darren carefully pushed up Theo’s shirt and planted a kiss on the crest of his churning belly. “There. Did that make you feel better?”

Theo let out a short, painful laugh. “Try a hand on my belly and a kiss on my mouth,” he said, and he sighed as Darren obliged.

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

I answered a lot of shit cause i was bored. enjoy or don’t i don’t fucking care

1: Name: Cheynne.

2: Age: 21

3: 3 Fears: Dying alone, never finding actual love, everyone dying but me because of something I could have stopped.

4: 3 things I love: Music, Good movies, Good acting and good accents in movies.

5: 4 turns on: Good smile, Nice eyes, If you look like you could kill me, nice hair

6: 4 turns off: Being a dick, Entitlement, if you act as if I owe you something, not telling me I upset you or did something wrong and then being an actual dick when telling me whats wrong.

7: My best friend: IRL? Myself. Online I have many.

8: Sexual orientation: Asexual panromantic

9: My best first date: Didn’t have one

10: How tall am i: 5’2. 5’3 if I stand up all the way.

11: What do I miss: When I felt true emotions.

12: What time were you born: 3:02pm

13: Favorite color: Black. Because it is the absence of all colors and I just like it,

14: Do I have a crush: On people I know? No. On actors yes. Many.

15: Favorite quote: “never more quoth the raven” and or “all we see or seem is but a dream with in a dream”

16: Favorite place: My bed.

17: Favorite food: Pizza or Chicken

18: Do I use sarcasm: no…none….

19: What am I listening to right now: Barns Courtney “hellfire”

20: First thing I notice in new person: Eyes or How they speak, like volume and tone.

21: Shoe size: 8.5 or a 9 depending

22: Eye color: Greenish hazel

23: Hair color: Natural is like a dark brown

24: Favorite style of clothing: Comfortable, leggings and my hoodie

25: Ever done a prank call?: Not that I can recall

27: Meaning behind my URL: I liked how it sounded in my head

28: Favorite movie: Currently…jeez…uh either CA:CW or CA:WS

29: Favorite song: Gasoline by Halsey

30: Favorite band: Don’t have one currently

31: How I feel right now: Dead inside…like normal

32: Someone I love: Love is very hard for me cause of things

33: My current relationship status: Single

34: My relationship with my parents: ummmmmmmmm Emotionally destroying. My father(s) can fuck off. And my mom is just a whole can of worms

35: Favorite holiday: Halloween

36: Tattoos and piercing I have: I have 2 tattoos one on my back and one on my wrist. I had my labret and my nose at one point.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want: *shrugs* idk man

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: Cause I hated myself. Idk actually it was in like 2012 so

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: We don’t speak so

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: Hahahaha you act like I have IRL friends and family who actually care. no

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: My mother..yes

42: When did I last hold hands?: 2-3 years ago

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: less then 5 minutes

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?: yep

45: Where am I right now?: My house. On my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: Myself.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: depends on what I am doing or where I am.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: Fuck no. thank god

49: Am I excited for anything?: Um Avengers: IW, Season 3 of Animal Kingdom, and Joe coles newest movie.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: every time I leave the house.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: Last Friday, One of my bosses left the store I work at.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: Ew. I don’t like having to see my mom kiss her boyfriend.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: Yes and No

55: What is something I disliked about today?: Waking up to some shitty shit.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: Finn and Joe Cole o I could tell them they are actually so amazing at every role they do. Sebastian Stan. And Bill Skarsgard

57: What do I think about most?: Fanfic ideas

58: What’s my strangest talent?: I can do a weird thing with my middle fingers.

59: Do I have any strange phobias?: Holes in things. But only sometimes

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Behind

61: What was the last lie I told?: Idk honestly

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: Online

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: Yes, and Yes

64: Do I believe in magic?: I mean if I didn’t my witch sisters would be a little peeved at me.

65: Do I believe in luck?: Yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?: grey and rainy

67: What was the last book I’ve read?: smoke gets in your eyes: tales from the crematory.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: yes

69: Do I have any nicknames?: yes

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?: I worked in a deli and my hand slipped one night and I needed 6 stitches. My finger is forever warped from it

71: Do I spend money or save it?: both

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?: yep sissors

74: Favorite animal?: Sloth,

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: watching “redlight” Cillian Murphy in that movie. Hes amazing

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: Well he is just a fallen angel right, god cast him down and all archangels have no last name so.

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: You are my sunshine.

78: How can you win my heart?: Understand my past is very fucked up and in such has caused me to become a very unemotional and uncaring person at times.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: Finally

80: What is my favorite word?: Cunt

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: @roman-ova @imaginesoverreality @animalkingdom-anonymous @bookofreid and so many more so

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: Fuck off

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: Yes

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: Teleportation.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: How people really feel about me.

86: What is my current desktop picture?: A gif of Pietro from AOU

87: Had sex?: Nope

88: Bought condoms?: nope

89: Gotten pregnant?: nope

90: Failed a class?: many

91: Kissed a boy?: yes

92: Kissed a girl?: a few

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: nope

94: Had job?: yep a few

95: Left the house without my wallet?: yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet?: when I was young and very dumb

97: Had sex in public?: Nope

98: Played on a sports team?: Only in PE and I wanted to die

99: Smoked weed?: Nope

100: Did drugs?: Nope

101: Smoked cigarettes?: yes

102: Drank alcohol?: yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: Nope

104: Been overweight?: Still am bitch, hypothyroidism is a whore

105: Been underweight?: nope

106: Been to a wedding?: Yes.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: every day

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: yeah

109: Been outside my home country?: yep

110: Gotten my heart broken?: yep

111: Been to a professional sports game?: yes, hockey, basketball, and baseball

112: Broken a bone?: nope,

113: Cut myself?: I self harmed for 9 years so

114: Been to prom?: yep

115: Been in airplane?: yes

116: Fly by helicopter?: Nope.

117: What concerts have I been to?: Warped tour 2011, blood on the dance floor like twice.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: Bitch….every day

119: Learned another language?: Yes German 1 and 2 in high school

120: Wore make up?: yep

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: nope still am bitch

122: Had oral sex?: nope

123: Dyed my hair?: yes. All the time

124: Voted in a presidential election?: yep in the…2016..

125: Rode in an ambulance?: over 12 times

126: Had a surgery?: yes 2.

127: Met someone famous?: Yeah one of the guys from La ink and a few authors

128: Stalked someone on a social network?: yeah…who hasnt

129: Peed outside?: yes

130: Been fishing?: yes

131: Helped with charity?: yeah

132: Been rejected by a crush?: every time

133: Broken a mirror?: yes

134: What do I want for birthday?: My family to actually give a shit about me.

[marksburyscripts]

Season 1, Episode 4-- Love and Loss

Google Doc

[Inside a local coffee shop. Day. Christine and Victor are sitting at a table. The faint bustle of the cafe can be heard]

CHRISTINE

Thanks for agreeing to meet with me. Even if you’re insisting on recording it.

VICTOR

Well, you texted asking if I wanted to get coffee even though I never gave you my number, so I'll admit I was a little hesitant. 

CHRISTINE

A girl's gotta have hobbies. Also the internet exists. 

VICTOR 

...That doesn't exactly reassure me.

CHRISTINE

I'm sure not much does nowadays.

VICTOR

…What do you want from me?

CHRISTINE

Nothing. But I think we both have some questions. 

VICTOR

Yeah, absolutely. 

CHRISTINE

I'll go first. Tell me about Erik.

VICTOR

...Who?

CHRISTINE

Right, you probably don't know him by that name. Let me rephrase it. Tell me about your son.

VICTOR

[Clearly knowing exactly what she’s talking about] I-- I don’t know what you’re talking about.

CHRISTINE

Please, Victor, I know what happened. I just wanna hear your side of it.,

VICTOR

...How much do you know?

CHRISTINE

Just what he told me. The experiment, the fire. That you left him.

VICTOR

Listen, that’s--

CHRISTINE

That’s what, Victor? You abandoned him, you left him to die, you--

VICTOR

I was scared, okay?! I was nineteen, I-- I was a kid! In case you haven’t figured it out, I wasn’t exactly the picture of perfect mental health! I set fire to a public fucking building! That alone ruined my life, forget about what happened after! Did it tell you about that?

CHRISTINE

Yes, he did.

VICTOR

Then forgive me if I’m lacking in empathy. My friend, my boyfriend, and my family are all dead, and the only other person I have has been in a coma for almost a year. Maybe I handled the situation wrong, but it has taken everything from me.

CHRISTINE

What’s their name?

VICTOR

What?

CHRISTINE

Your friend in the coma. What’s their name?

VICTOR

...Henry.

CHRISTINE

How did you meet?

VICTOR

...We were in the same class in first grade. There was this kid who would always ask for my lunch, and I was too nice to tell him no. So after recess one day, Henry put a pocketful of worms in his desk.

CHRISTINE

Solid strategy.

VICTOR

It worked. I never had a problem again, and Henry and I were inseparable ever since.

CHRISTINE

And what’s your favorite memory with him?

VICTOR

Look, this is sounding suspiciously like a therapy session, and I don’t think--

CHRISTINE

Please, just humor me. Tell me something about him that you can hold onto when things get hard.

VICTOR

...We were twelve. I was asleep, but… you know in those bad romance movies, when the guy will throw pebbles at the girl’s window to get her attention? That’s what he did. I didn’t have my glasses on, so I could barely tell that it was him. But after I let him in, I… I could tell he’d been crying. And… you know, Henry’s always been so sure of himself. See… his parents, they’re... they’re good people, they really are. But they’ve always had plans for him. His dad owns a garage downtown, he always expected Henry to take it over. Not to mention, that was when he started to realize he wasn’t completely straight. That’s not a secret nowadays, he’s very open about it. But in middle school, that might just be the biggest taboo in the world. Not so much nowadays, but we’ve come a long way since then. It got to be too much, he got overwhelmed. I didn’t know any of that until then. He’d never opened up to me that much. I’m not good at that sort of thing, at… comforting people. But I did what I could. I listened, I sat with him, I told him that it would be okay. I let him stay the night, and before I knew it, he was feeling okay enough to start joking around again. Nothing was the same between us again since that night, but not in a bad way. We were more open, we could tell each other anything. He’d always been the strong one. But now he didn’t have to be. ...I know how that sounds, and it’s not the fact that he was upset that makes it my favorite memory with him. Obviously. It’s just… that was the moment that we really connected. More than just a couple of kids who liked to hang out after school. That was the moment that I really understood him as a person, and-- And I knew that if I ever needed someone, he’d be there for me. And you know what? He always was. After the… after the fire, once I was out of the hospital, he drove the six hours to make sure I was okay. He stayed with me for two weeks. Sat with me during my trial, helped me choose a therapist when they told me I had to in order to stay out of prison. I think he would have stayed longer if I hadn’t insisted he go back. He had school, after all, and his classes were starting up for the semester. I didn’t want him to miss any time for my sake. Elliot offered to come up, too, but he was working, and leaving would have upset his boss. Plus, explaining the reason behind it wouldn’t have helped his situation. So… it was just me and Henry for those weeks. I-- I didn’t tell him what had happened, I…. [He takes a moment to gather himself] Look. I don’t know what you’re trying to do. But Henry got lucky. There’s still a chance that he’ll be okay. But he is the exception, not the rule. I-- I don’t know why it told you everything, but if it suspects for a second that you and I are close, then--

CHRISTINE

You don’t need to worry about that.

VICTOR

Yeah? And why’s that?

CHRISTINE

[Matter-of-factly]  Because he’s in love with me.

VICTOR

[Laughs, then realizes that she’s serious] Oh. Oh. W-- Wait, then-- Then you two are--

CHRISTINE

No, we’re not. Homicidal tendencies are a big turn-off for me.

VICTOR

...That’s fair, I guess.

CHRISTINE

Also kidnapping.

VICTOR

[Audibly chokes on his coffee] I’m sorry? Did-- Are-- are you okay?

CHRISTINE

Yeah, I’m fine. Maybe a little traumatized, but.

VICTOR

Yeah, I can imagine. Listen, I-- I am so sorry, I--

CHRISTINE

Stop.

VICTOR

What?

CHRISTINE

You don’t need to apologize. It wasn’t your fault.

VICTOR

Isn’t it?

CHRISTINE

Literally no. You weren’t even there. I don’t even know whether or not you were still in the state. You had nothing to do with it. 

VICTOR

...Okay. I told you my part. Your turn.

CHRISTINE

Where do you want me to start?

VICTOR

How did you meet it?

CHRISTINE

He found me while I was working on a show. I was still living in Maine, still trying to find a decent job after graduating Ingleside. You know that theater downtown, across from the library?

VICTOR

No.

CHRISTINE

Well, it’s there. And they do a holiday show every winter. It was September, so we were just starting rehearsals. I’d done shows there all through school, so I was familiar with every inch of that place. Or… I thought so, at least. After rehearsal one night, I realized halfway home that I forgot my music booklet. Luckily, I made it back before my director left, and she let me go in to grab it.  I knew I’d left it in the basement, which isn’t as creepy as it sounds. That’s where the bathrooms are, the dressing room, all that. It’s nice, honestly.  I remembered leaving it in the corner. So when I didn’t see it there, I figured that maybe someone took it with them to give it back to me tomorrow. But I still looked around, just in case. That was when I heard a voice. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from but… [Audibly smiling, almost dream-like] Victor, it was beautiful. And… familiar.

CHRISTINE (Cont.)

You see, the theater is old. I’m not sure when it was built, but old buildings in New England always have ghost stories, I’m sure you know that. This was no exception. But over the past few years, “activity” had increased. Mostly it was props and costumes going missing, which honestly could have been chalked up to careless actors or stagehands. I probably would have thought the same thing if I hadn’t had reason to believe otherwise. I’ve been alone there more than a few times over the years. Helping clean up after shows, changing between scenes, you name it. And sometimes, I would hear this faint, distant voice. Humming, singing. Crying sometimes. It broke my heart, if I’m being honest.  So of course I knew who was talking to me that night, telling me that my voice didn’t deserve to be “chained to such uninspired drivel”. But that was the first time I actually saw him. Or, sort of. He covered his face, but he was standing there behind me all the same. And yeah. Maybe it was stupid. I know it was. But when he asked me to go with him… of course I did. I was intrigued, this was the adventure I’d always dreamed of. 

CHRISTINE (Cont.)

I didn’t know that there was another room, let alone a sub basement. I’m not sure anyone did. The door that led to it was small and hidden behind the dressing room mirror. If you didn’t know what you were looking for, even if the wall was bare, you might even mistake it for just another panel. But he opened it, and he led me into the dark. We did this every week for months. He would bring me to the forgotten part of the theater he’d made his home. And we would talk, sing, compose. He’s a genius, you know. The songs he writes, they’re unlike anything I’ve ever heard.  Then he told me his story. Your story, too, I guess. And I saw his face. The scars that the fire left him with. It was a shock, but I was willing to look past it. I’m not an asshole.

[A phone notification dings]

CHRISTINE

You can get it, it’s fine. [A long pause, Victor lets out a shaky breath] Something wrong?

VICTOR

I-- No. No, nothing, I-- I’m sorry, I-- I h-- I have to go. It’s-- It’s Henry, he-- Henry’s awake, he just opened his eyes.

CHRISTINE

Oh my God, yeah, go!

VICTOR

Right, yeah, I-- Thank you, I’ll-- I’ll keep in touch, I-- I want to know more.

CHRISTINE

I’ll keep an eye out. Stay safe.

VICTOR

I’m gonna pretend that wasn’t ominous.

[The sound of a bell as he leaves the building, and the recording ends]

NEXT EPISODE➝

[noahsflynn-archive]

i was tagged by @jeffreycombs bc she’s the bestest egg of them all and is v good to me. tag 20 peeps.

last

1. drink - irn bru

2. phone call -  it was from my mum’s phone but i spoke to her and my dad

3. text message - my dad

4. song you listened to - stupid for you by waterparks, and my god i’m obsessed???? i’d never heard it before... i’m listening to the ‘pure pop punk’ playlist on spotify and this song just happened to be on it.

5. time you cried - today bc of one day at a time

ever

6. dated someone twice? - nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it - nope

8. been cheated on - no

9. lost someone special - a couple of people

10. been depressed - ...

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - never been drunk, and i don’t think i’d want to get that drunk

fave colours

12. blue

13. purple

14. pink

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yeah

16. fallen out of love - nope

17. laughed until you cried - yes, i literally did that a couple of nights ago while watching the slow mo guys videos

18. found out someone was talking about you - no? i’m assuming this means in a negative way, so idk i hope people wouldn’t waste their time lmao

19. met someone who changed you - it’s hard to remember what happened in the last year, so i’m going to say yes, just in case dfghjk

20. found out who your friends are - i have the same friends i had a year ago so

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - yes

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - majority.

23. do you have any pets - no *whispers* one day

24. do you want to change your name - thought about it. i have phases of not liking my name, but i could never settle on another if i did so yeah

25. what did you do for your last birthday - on my actual birthday, nothing. things were happening with my family so there wasn’t really a chance. i remember i went out with my mum to buy my present the day after? i really forget what else happened

26. what time did you wake up today - sometime between 10am and 11am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - watching one day at a time

28. what is something you cant wait for - just bc it crossed my dash just now: love, simon.

30. what are you listening to right now - that ‘pure pop punk’ playlist on spotify (blink-182 is on atm <333)

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - there were a couple in my year at school so probably

32. something thats getting on your nerves - hahaha listen, pal, that’s a long list

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube probably, but i use facebook to talk to my friends and twitter to talk to my boyfriend

34. hair colour - brown, but there are bits that are a different shade near the tips because i dyed some of my hair red like 2 years ago and despite my hair growing quickly (and several haircuts) my hair still isn’t one shade dfghjk

35. long or short hair - my hair touches my shoulders (shortish)

36. do you have a crush on someone - i mean, my boyfriend, is that an obvious answer?

37. what do you like about yourself - let’s not open that can of worms. tbh i could have a killer fashion sense if i just... tried lmao

38. want any piercings? - my fucking helix and i got it done, but the piercing kept getting knocked and bleeding and it was too much pain to put up with so i had to take it out

39. blood type - idk wish i did though

40. nicknames - most common one is dani but i have nicknames that are specific to one or two people... e.g. bones, hamy, doodles, i’ve even been called ‘little d’ a lot by someone dfghjk people also referred to me as luna a lot bc of an old username

41. relationship status - in one

42. zodiac - capricorn

43. pronouns - she / her

44. fave tv shows - don’t ask such harsh questions but bones is a pretty safe option

45. tattoos - i wish

46. right or left handed - right but i use my left hand more often than you’d expect

47. ever had surgery - nope

48. piercings - ear lobes, twice technically but i only ever wear one set

49. sport - does watching them count?

50. vacation - no current plans

51. trainers - when i’m not working (or being lazy at home) i basically live in converse

more general

52. eating - nothing, but i told myself like 2 hours ago i’d make myself a tuna and cheese wrap and i still want it

53. drinking - irn bru (it’s a bit 2 litre bottle)

54. i’m about to watch - unless someone has uploaded a new video on youtube, nothing right now

55. waiting for - the food i’m going to make after i finish making this gifset 

56. want - food

57. get married - at some point, yeah, probably

58. career - TO BE PAID MONEY EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS ME THIS GOD DAMN QUESTION. i just want to create. perhaps work in film and television. i. don’t. know.

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs... sometimes.

60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - taller

62. older or younger - older

63. nice arms or stomach - both? but arms i guess

64. hookup or relationship - well, i’ve never had a hookup and i’ve been in a relationship for a long ass time so i guess relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - well i’m personally hesitant as shit but i think it’s good to be a mixture of the two

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - yes, kind of? i mean i’ve had a couple in jelly form or mixed with coke? but not very much at once

68. lost glasses - like the ones you see with? no, i would cry if i lost my glasses. unless my eyes are closed i can’t handle not having my glasses on.

69. turned someone down - possibly?????? it would have been a long time ago dfghjk

70. sex on first date - never had sex so i really don’t think i’m the best person to have an opinion but honestly, you do you. i probably wouldn’t but who knows

71. broken someones heart - no...?

72. had your heart broken - nope

73. been arrested - hahhaa no

74. cried when someone died - like a baby

75. fallen for a friend - yes

do you believe in

76. yourself - not a bit

77. miracles - a little

78. love at first sight - attraction at first sight, a “wow you seem cool and it looks like we might have shared interests and perhaps this could go somewhere” at first sight fghjkl

79. santa clause - do i get an extra christmas present if i say yes?

80. kiss on a first date - i really couldn’t care

81. angels - uh huh

other

82. best friend’s name - i hate this question, so i’m going to go with my oldest friend... sophie

83. eye colour - brown

84. fave movie - so many but i have a massive soft spot for the fast and furious franchise for many reasons that are hard to explain

85. fave actor - a lot.. kristen stewart, paul walker, vin diesel, michelle rodriguez, heath ledger, james mcavoy, etc, etc.

tagging 20: 90% of the people i could tag have been or they won’t answer this so i’m not going to, but if you see this and want to do it, please do, and feel free to tag me in it <3

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine Valentines Challenge - “Do You Feel the Same?” (Rated T)

Kurt is a little annoyed at the couple in the back seat of his car, drunk as skunks and singing off-key, pawing at each other in an ambiguous way. Kurt just hopes that when they sober up, they lose his number so he won't have to give some kind of awkward speech at their future wedding. But is it possible that Kurt has the wrong idea? (2196 words)

Written for the Klaine Valentines Challenge Day Six "Eternal Flame".

Read on AO3.

Close your eyes … give me your hand, darling … Do you feel my heart beating? … Do you understand? … Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Is this burning an …

Kurt cringes as they nail the words eternal flame with gusto, their tequila-soaked voices modulating to pitches that animals would flee from. They were such a nice, normal couple when Kurt picked them up at the beginning of the night. The two passengers crooning in the back seat of Kurt’s Prius, who had introduced themselves as TinaandBlaine (as if they were a Country-Folk singing duo), are now sloppy drunk and belting out maudlin 80s hits. They’re also slightly all over each other. Kurt can’t figure out if that’s drunken first date all over each other or just touchy-feely friends all over each other.

Especially since Kurt had thought that Blaine was flirting with him on the way to the bar.

They repeat the chorus again, sustaining the final note on the word flame longer than necessary, and it turns into a competition. Tina strains to hold it longer than Blaine and fails, laughing and coughing till tears come out of her eyes, which causes Blaine to snort, struggling to breathe.

Kurt rolls his eyes. It’s like he’s chauffeuring the ghosts of high school show choir after parties past. Lightweights would get sloshed on wine coolers and monopolize the karaoke machine. Kurt contends that he has a ten percent hearing loss in his left ear from the amount of times some wannabe diva drank enough to think they could actually pull off ‘Let It Go’.

Regardless, TinaandBlaine’s Power Ballad Hour isn’t the most obnoxious thing that Kurt’s been subjected to. Thus is the life of an Uber driver. It isn’t as glamorous as Tumblr makes it out to be. God, he hopes one of them doesn’t vomit in his car. He so doesn’t need that right now. It’ll take their entire fare coming and going just to get the smell out.

Right before they get the chance to launch into their next number and destroy yet another song that Kurt once held dear, he pulls up to the curb outside the brownstone walkup where he originally picked them up. He puts the car into park but doesn’t kill the engine.

“Alrighty, folks,” Kurt says to the giddy, giggling twosome, “here’s your stop.” Now go. Kurt can’t help it if he’s a little bitter. It’s been a while since he’s been groped in the back of a Prius … or just gone out for a drink with a friend.

He wouldn’t mind doing one – or both – with Blaine. Aside from the public drunkenness and the off-key singing, he seems like a nice guy, fun to hang out with obviously, and the touchy-feely aside (which Kurt wouldn’t actually classify as groping, technically – just a lot of hugging and holding) he seems like a gentleman.

“Are you … are you going to spend the night?” Tina asks, looking up at Blaine with hopeful, moony-eyes.

“I’m really sorry, Tina,” Blaine replies. “I wish I could, but I can’t. I have an early day tomorrow … today.”

“Party pooper,” Tina pouts. “But I understand.”

Kurt watches Blaine reach past Tina to open her door while she snuggles into his chest, but it sticks a third of the way. Kurt’s Prius can be temperamental. He’s about to mention it when Tina says, “Walk me to the door, Blainey?” and kicks the car door the rest of the way open. Kurt bites his lip to stop from saying anything. He doesn’t need a bad Yelp review. Besides, she’s drunk. She doesn’t know better. To be honest, he’s not as fond of this boxy Prius as he was of his Lincoln Navigator, which he had to leave behind when he left Ohio, but this car has been his surrogate baby, and it’s a source of extra income. If there’s any damage, he’s going to have to send her a bill. (He’s thinking of sending her one anyway for that high note she butchered seconds ago. Kurt can hit that note in his sleep.)

“Sure, I will.” Blaine turns to Kurt, eyes shifting left and right like he’s seeing two of him. “Would you mind waiting? I need a ride to NYU.”

“As long as you’re paying,” Kurt says, more snappish than usual.

“Of course, handsome.” Blaine winks, then practically falls out of the car with Tina cackling on the sidewalk.

Kurt’s radio hasn’t worked right since he bought the car, so he beats out a rhythm on his steering wheel while he waits for Blaine to return, trying to find a song that will counteract ‘Eternal Flame’, snuff it out before it becomes an ear worm. Kurt doesn’t watch what he assumes is a long and puke-worthy goodnight kiss, though there’s too much giggling going on for it to be in any way passionate. Still, they’re taking forever.

Kurt hopes that they lose his number. He doesn’t want to be invited to the wedding and have to tell the story of how they fell in love in the back of his car.

“Now, you … you have to … call me in the morning,” Blaine slurs.

“No, no, no, you call me in the morning,” Tina volleys.

“Well, I can’t call you if you call me first.”

Kurt pulls a nauseated face. “How does that make any sense?” he mutters to himself. Drunk logic, he figures.

“Okay, okay, I’ll call you,” Tina promises.

More muttering follows, more giggling, and Kurt slams his head repeatedly on his head rest.

“Come on, Blaine,” Kurt grouses. “She promised she’d call, now let’s go!”

As if he somehow heard him, Blaine stumbles back to the car and, after a brief struggle with the door, gets in.

“Bye-bye, Blainey-days!” Tina yells from the window. “Bye-bye, uh, Kevin … Ken … uh … Uber driver!”

“Bye, Tina.” Blaine sticks his head out the window and blows her a dramatically over-the-top kiss while Kurt opts for a dignified wave. They pull away from the curb, Blaine waving with both hands out Kurt’s rear windshield down most of the block. As soon as they’re out of sight of Tina’s window, Blaine suddenly changes. He sits back in his seat, goofy smile gone, and no more singing.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says in a calm, sober voice. “I know we must have been annoying, but …” Puzzled, Kurt peeks at Blaine through his rear view mirror and sees him examining Tina’s footprint on the door panel. Blaine takes out a napkin from his pocket (or is that a handkerchief? An honest to God cloth handkerchief?) and wipes at it till the dirt and the mark disappear. “There. I don’t think she tore your upholstery, but if she did, please send me the bill.”

“Th-thank you,” Kurt stutters in disbelief.

“It’s the least I can do. You’ve been so accommodating.”

“You’re … you’re not drunk?”

“No.” Blaine chuckles. “I think I pulled it off convincingly enough though. She was pretty wasted. I don’t think she noticed.”

“You did good. You should go into acting.”

Blaine’s face brightens. “I am an actor … sort of. At least, I’m studying to be one.”

“Hey, you had me convinced, and I’m usually pretty good at telling the difference,” Kurt says. “It’s the tequila smell that clinched it.”

“I pulled a Coyote Ugly.” Blaine smiles, but it’s small. “Tequila with an empty beer bottle chaser.”

“That’s very clever, but … why pretend to be drunk, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“She needed to get drunk,” Blaine explains, “and she didn’t want to get drunk alone, so I volunteered. But she’s kind of an irresponsible drunk. I needed to keep an eye on her. Didn’t want her to go off and do something stupid like screw some guy in a bathroom. I mean, I’m all for comfort fucking, but I didn’t want her doing something she’d regret.”

Kurt knows he shouldn’t ask, it’s not his place to pry, but seeing as the first question on his mind was Why isn’t she just comfort fucking you then? he felt this one was more socially acceptable. “Comfort … I hope no one, you know, passed away or anything.”

“No, nothing like that.” Blaine sighs, staring at his hands, toying with his handkerchief. “She just found out that her high school boyfriend’s getting married.”

“Ah,” Kurt says. Been there, done that.

“He was her first love, they lost their virginity together, that sort of thing. She helped him get into college and they broke up when he left high school. Mutual decision, but they remained friends. She had asked him to marry her at one point a few years later and he turned her down. He’s a dancer with the Joffrey and he didn’t think that it was a good time for him. Apparently, now it is.”

“Well that sucks,” Kurt says, heading for the freeway.

“Yeah, it does. Unfortunately, ever since they broke up, she hasn’t made the greatest decisions when it comes to men.” Kurt glances into the rear view. Blaine, still focused on his handkerchief, folds it into a square, but a different small smile dimples Blaine’s cheeks. “She, uh, also has a tendency to fall for gay guys, which is how we became besties in the first place.”

“I see.” Kurt wonders if that was Blaine’s way of dropping a hint. He decides to play it like it was. “Small world. My best friend from high school and I got together for the same reason.”

Blaine’s small smile becomes a bigger one instantaneously. “I see. It is a small world.”

“Yup.” Kurt feels himself blushing, in danger of smiling so hard that his cheeks hurt. “So, actor, huh? Have you been in anything I’ve seen?”

“Not unless you’re slummin’ it watching the student productions at NYU,” Blaine reveals reluctantly. “I was in a short lived student produced play called Hats.”

“Hats?” Kurt sputters in an attempt not to laugh. “Is that an ironic title, or does it speak for itself?”

Blaine sits up to talk closer. When he’s done, he doesn’t sit back again. “It speaks for itself.”

“Ouch.” Kurt side-eyes Blaine, noting his new closeness, his cheek resting on the shoulder of the passenger seat, eyes fixed on Kurt, a smooth smile on his lips, such a departure from the man Kurt thought was slobbering over Tina a few minutes before. “Of course, I played Officer Krupke in West Side Story once, so I’m not sure I can judge.”

“Really? Where?” Blaine seems honestly intrigued. Probably trying to picture Kurt in the role, Kurt surmises. Even Kurt thought that it was an interesting casting decision at the time, especially since he had auditioned for the role of Tony.

“My senior year of high school. Right now I’m attending NYADA as a musical theater major, but I haven’t been in any productions yet.”

“NYADA?” Blaine nods solemnly. “I’m impressed. I applied there, but they wouldn’t take me.”

“Don’t feel bad. I had to kill someone to get my spot.”

“Oh. Then you definitely deserve it.” Blaine’s eyes dart away from Kurt’s face, smile fading as they drive past a sign announcing his exit. “I guess mine’s next.” He sighs.

“Yeah,” Kurt says just as miserably, changing lanes to prepare. “I guess so.

“You know, I had hoped that Tina would pass out on the way home,” Blaine confesses, “so you and I could talk a little.”

“That would have been nice.” Kurt knows that he could just give Blaine his number, ask Blaine for his, but this is relaxing, driving down the highway, getting to know one another. It reminds Kurt of when he first got his license. He looked for any excuse to go for a drive with his friends. There’s something to be said about occupying the same space as someone else, especially in a car. Cruising and road trips – that feeling of going somewhere and nowhere, the only real destination the journey they’re sharing. Kurt’s all for twelve hour phone conversations, getting to know someone that way, but this … he doesn’t know why. This is just better. “Well, lucky for us …” Kurt pauses as he drives past the off-ramp and continues down the highway “… I just missed your exit. We’re going to have to circle back, possibly take the long way …” Kurt shoots Blaine a quick glance “… if you don’t have any objections, that is. I heard you say something about an early morning.”

Blaine smirks, catching on to the fact that Kurt must now realize that was an excuse. Blaine hadn’t wanted to lead Tina on. They’d talked about this before. Blaine is gay, 100%, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. Still, when Tina feels vulnerable, she still tries. He didn’t want to be one more thing she’d regret if she came on to him and he turned her down.

He cozies closer to the seat in front of him. Kurt considers pulling over so Blaine can move up front. “None at all,” Blaine says. “Take the longest route you need.”

[rfa-squad-blog]

Hi! Uhm hc on how would RFA+V+Saeran would do and feel of MC sometimes feels hurt whenever her ex talks to her. She says she had already moved on but she still feel pain sometimes. Thanks!

I’m not sure if we did these right but I hope you like them. Sorry for any spelling mistakes i’m sick AF right now. Also these ex boyfriends say some mean shit so be careful! Love you guys - Mod MC

Zen:

Your ex was such a huge flirt and because of this nature he was basically a playboy

Because of his fickle nature he ended up cheating on you and when you found out it broke your heart and you broke up with him.

It had taken months before you got over him but you were with Zen now for more than two years and you honestly thought he was the one.

You were shopping for the holidays when you ran into your ex and even though you had a messy breakup he was still flirting with you hardcore.

When you basically rejected all of his advances he started to get angry.

“So I heard you were with that popular musical actor Zae or whatever, how’s that going for you?”

“His name is Zen and I don’t have to tell you anything about my life anymore so mind your own business.” You snapped at him tired of being around him.

“Woah, easy there. I was just asking because I know you left me because I had an affair, you know since he’s so popular he’ll probably end up cheating on you too. After all you are very naive. Oh man it was so easy to lie to you.” He started to laugh in that fake laugh of his that you always hated

“Zen would never do anything like that to hurt me. He loves me and will always be a better man than you will ever be.” You spat out.

“I’m just saying that you aren’t anything special and he is a pretty famous guy, why would he even stick around with you? I’m telling you now so you won’t be shocked in the future but he will cheat on you.” You couldn’t stand being around this jerk for a second longer and quickly turned around and walked away.

Even though you were over this jerk it still hurt when you thought about how he cheated on you, and his words today hurt more. You walked back to Zen’s place in a daze.

You knew you weren’t anything great compared to Zen and he could do honestly better.

Your ex’s words started to replay in your head and before you knew it you were curled up on zen’s couch crying your heart out.

One of your biggest insecurities was that you weren’t good enough for Zen, and even though you knew Zen would never stoop as low as to cheat on you it still hurt to hear someone else point out your flaws.

Zen would be home soon and you tried your best to look like you weren’t just crying your heart out, you really did not want to talk about what happened today, especially since your ex’s were always a touchy topic to Zen.

“MC, were you crying your eyes are all puffy? Are you okay? What happened?” Zen said as soon as he saw your face. Well so much for acting as if nothing happened.

Upon hearing Zen’s voice you started to tear up again and in three short strides Zen was right in front of you hugging you tightly and petting your hair.

“Z-zen, you aren’t going to cheat on me are you?” You sobbed out, you knew you were being ridiculous but you couldn’t help it.

“What, MC what are you talking about I would never cheat on you. I thought you knew that.” Zen asked, shock clearly on his face but he continued to hug you tightly.

“I know! I know you wouldn’t cheat on me but ever since I ran into that jerk and he said that since I am basically nothing compared to you I can’t stop thinking about it. I know its stupid. But you are just so amazing, and I-I’m not.” You said in a small voice, saying outloud hurt worse than hearing your ex say it.

At your words Zen grew stiff and he gently pushed you away from you but still held onto your shoulders. He looked furious though.

“Who was this bastard that ever made you doubt yourself. Who is this asshole, tell me right now so I can go kick his ass.” Zen growled out.

You quickly told him about your encounter with your ex and the horrible things he said to you, by the end of your story Zen looked livid.

“Who the hell does he think he is talking to you like that. First of all he was the dumbass who cheated on you and now he tells you are not good enough for me? I am gonna kill this guy. Listen here MC you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You help me grow as a person and you are so kind and beautiful and if there is anyone in this relationship that isn’t worthy is me.”

You looked up at him in shock when he said those words.

“MC I love you so much, you mean the world to me and honestly I would be so lost without you here with me. Please, you mean so much to me don’t listen to that jerk you are so perfect and amazing.” Zen said pulling you closer to him again.

“Zen I love you so much too. I’m sorry.” You said and then he gave you the sweetest kiss ever. You were silly to ever think that Zen would be anything like that toxic jerk.

4 months later you were happily engaged and the next time you ran into your ex you showed him your engagement ring and then showed him the finger before he got another word in.

-Mod DK

Yoosung:

You were chilling with Yoosung and playing video games

It was just supposed to be a quick study break

While the two of you were playing you got a text

It was from your ex boyfriend

“Hey kiddo, I see you’re still playing games. You always did act like a child”

Attached was a picture of you playing video games.

Yoosung took it and you posted it on instagram

Your ex liked to keep tabs on you

And boy did he try to worm his way back into your life at any chance

But you were over it, he never took you seriously

He just treated you like a kid

And so you ended it

That’s part of why you identified with Yoosung

Because he wanted to be taken seriously too.

And so the two of you were a perfect match

You respected and understood each other

So instead of responding to your ex

You took a silly selfie of yoosung and yourself and posted it on instagram for your ex to see.

Seven:

You were waiting for seven to finish work and laying in bed

Your phone vibrated with a notification

Miss me?

Your heart clenched

You knew exactly who it was

Your ex boyfriend who was emotionally abusive

You had finally broken it off a few years ago and hadn’t looked back since

He still tried to contact you from time to time but he had no idea where you lived so he couldn’t get to you

All he could do was text

You always blocked the number

Seven knew about the ex boyfriend but he didn’t know that he still tried to contact you.

He found out that night when he came into the bedroom to see you crying.

You handed him your phone and he saw all of the nasty messages your ex sent you.

“None of what he said is true MC. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met in my life and I plan to spend the rest of my life making sure you know how amazing you are.”

He held you close to him as you fell asleep, reassuring you that you wouldn’t hear from your ex again.

Let’s just say your ex woke up the next morning to a completely useless phone, computer, and toaster.

Oh and an empty bank account

Seven still isn’t sure how he hacked into the toaster tbh

Jumin:

You had only dated once before Jumin.

This guy was an asshole.

All he ever wanted to do was smoke weed and hang out with his friends.

He never made you feel special.

You hadn’t been in the relationship just for the dates but a few outtings would have been nice.

When you finally ended things you had decided to look for a more mature man the next time you decided to enter a relationship.

Enter Jumin. He may only just be sorting out his emotions but dude is hella mature other than when he picks on the RFA members.

He’s got a stable (well paying) job and his own apartment.

You were in love with him for far deeper reasons than that but the fact that he was a real adult only helped things.

You had completely moved on from your ex, or so you thought.

He texted you one night while Jumin was away on a business trip.

Guess you got what you wanted.

You aren’t sure why that text sent a shock to your stomach.

You texted back, slightly confused about his cryptic message.

What do you mean?

His response was instant. I saw a magazine with a picture of you and that rich CEO guy. You’re such a gold digger.

You clenched your hand around your phone in anger and hurt.

Leave me alone. I love that man and not for his money. You’re just jealous. I guess you never grew up.

He texted back something else that was nasty but you chose to ignore it and deleted all of the messages. Tears welled up in your eyes at the nasty names he called you and you fell asleep like that.

The next morning you awoke to the sounds of Jumin moving around in the kitchen.

You ran to him, excited that he was finally home and grasped him tightly.

He wrapped his arms around you and chuckled, placing a kiss on your messy hair.

When you looked up at him he frowned.

“MC, have you been crying?”

You used your phone as a makeshift mirror and sure enough there was mascara dried in tear streaks under your eyes.

“It’s nothing don’t worry about it.”

“MC I will always worry about it. Anything that hurts you hurts me as well.”

“My ex called me a gold digger.” you mumbled with your head down.

“MC, what was that?” He tilted your head up so that you had to look him in the eyes.

You repeated yourself. Jumin was furious.

“How dare he. Love you’re nothing of the sort, you’ve more than proven that.”

He gave you a tight hug and reassured you that the love the two of you shared was nothing superficial. And then after a smouldering kiss he excused himself to speak to seven.

When he came back the two of you cuddled to make up for the time he spent on a business trip.

You aren’t sure exactly what strings he pulled but you never heard from your ex again.

V:

You had told one of your friends from before you joined the RFA about your fiance.

She was curious about him so you explained that he had very poor vision and that is was because of his ex fiance.

You also told her about his career as a photographer.

A few days later you received a text from your ex. He was always rude to you and it didn’t seem as if that had changed in the three years the two of you had been broken up for.

Heard you’re marrying a blind photographer. Good luck with that one.

You didn’t bother to text back. He always said hurtful things.

Your phone pinged a second time, you really downgraded, not like you could’ve done better than me anyways.

That stung. V was your everything.

You let your feelings get the better of you and messaged back.

Why don’t you go mind your own business.

You assumed that would end the conversation but you know what they say about assuming.

Your inbox once again had a notification.

You always were a loser. Thank God we broke up.

You had never been more thankful that you broke up with him when you received that text but the loser comment was a blow to your self esteem.

You let out a high pitched noise drew V’s attention from his office.

He came out to see you curled up on the couch, moping.

He could see alright when he wore glasses and right now he saw you frowning.

He sat down and put your head in his lap, stroking your hair.

“Honey, whats wrong?”

You shoved your phone into his hand and he read the messages.

“You don’t think i’m a loser do you?”

“Of course not love. I think you’re wonderful, you’re the love of my life. If anyone is a loser it’s him. He lost out on the most amazing girl in the world.”

You sat up and moved into V’s lap kissing him on the mouth tenderly.

“Thanks babe, I don’t think you’re a downgrade either. You’re the most important person in my life.”

The two of you spent the rest of the afternoon cuddling.

Saeran:  

Saeran was at the grocery store getting ingredients for dinner.

The two of you were planning to try a new recipe.

You were messing around on your phone when a message from an unknown number popped up.

Thinking it was Saeran trying to mess with you, you texted back.

“Saeran, honey when will you be home I miss you!”

Your phone buzzed with a notification.

“Who the fuck is Saeran, you slut. You always did move on quickly.”

Your blood ran cold and you cautiously texted back.

“Who is this?”

You got an immediate response, “Your ex boyfriend, we broke up a year ago, have you whored around so much that your forgot.”

This man was the worst person you had ever met and the reason that you hadn’t dated for nearly a year before you met Saeran.

Tears ran down your face, they blurred your vision to the point that you couldn’t text back even if you had wanted to. Which you didn’t.

You heard the front door shut and tried to escape to your bedroom so Saeran wouldn’t see you crying.

He came into your bedroom immediately after setting down the groceries and he caught you wiping away your tears.

He pulled you into a loose embrace and pressed your face to his chest saying nothing until your tears slowed.

“What happened?”

His tone left no room for negotiation and you handed him your phone.

By the time he was done reading the short conversation he was fuming.

“I’m going to ruin him. How dare he speak to you that way. You are mine. He has no right to call you a slut. I love you MC. Don’t believe what he said to you it’s bullshit.”

You said nothing and decided to put all of you love into the kisses that you peppered Saeran’s face with.

He picked you up and carried you to the bed where the two of you cuddled and talked until you needed to get up and start cooking.

Later that evening you checked your phone and noticed a picture had been sent to your ex.

It was a picture of you and Saeran, he was kissing your cheek and flipping the camera off.

You giggled and kissed Saeran once again. 

-Mod MC

[ericsonclan]

The Fun of Casual Chaos

Summary: Sophie and Renata have the ultimate sleepover filled with dancing, pizza and lots of laughs.

Word Count: 3029

Read on AO3:

Sophie tapped her fork against her empty plate that was stained with juice left over from the boysenberry pie she had just devoured.

“Want another slice, Soph?” Marlon asked while his mouth was still full of pie. Bits of pie crust flew across the table.

“You know I can never say no to more pie,” Sophie leaned forward and took her boyfriend’s hand. Her thumb brushed against the top of it for a few seconds while Marlon flagged down a waiter.

“Hey there, can I have another slice of boysenberry pie for my lady?” Marlon smiled brightly when he saw how happy Sophie was. Whether it was because of the prospect of more pie or the pet name he had used he wasn’t sure but he bet it was a mixture of both.

“Sure thing!” The waiter gave a friendly smile then turned sharply on his heel to get the pie.

“This date was great,” Sophie commented while Marlon lifted up her hand to kiss her knuckles softly.

“Yeah, that new movie was absolutely awful. It was amazing!” Marlon laughed as he began to recall all of the corny moments.

“That line delivery when the protagonist figured out who the killer was - ‘It was the butler with a butter knife and his grandmama’s monocle!’” Sophie quoted the line in the same tone indication as the actor. It was so spot on that Marlon couldn’t help but snort while he took a sip of his coffee, so much so that the coffee nearly shot out of his nose.

“We gotta see that movie again! But who should we bring with us next time?” Marlon leaned back and thoughtfully tapped his chin with his pointer finger. Sophie soon mirrored her boyfriend before her eyes grew large when the waiter came back with the pie.

“Thanks a million, pal!” Sophie grinned at the waiter who returned the gesture.

“Oh, can I get the check too?” Marlon looked over at the waiter who gave a quick, friendly response before leaving once more. Sophie immediately dug into the slice of pie and devoured it within seconds. Marlon chuckled softly at the sight, causing his girlfriend to glance up.

“Shit, sorry, got distracted by pie. Ummm, let’s see,” Sophie fidgeted with her baseball cap.

“Louis and Clem would totally love the movie,” Marlon offered and Sophie nodded along clearly in agreement.

“True, true. Minnie and Ren would have a lot of fun with it too. Oh! Let's just make it a triple date!” Sophie suggested, causing a smile to appear on Marlon’s lips.

“Sounds good to me. So, speaking of dates, I was thinking we could go to Marsh Park sometime and have a picnic together. Maybe this Friday? You have that day off, right?” Marlon messed around with the zipper on his jacket while he waited for the check to arrive.

“I’d love to but I can’t this Friday. Ren is coming over for the ultimate friendship sleepover. Can we do it on Sunday though?” Sophie noticed that the check had arrived and Marlon quickly paid it.

“Sure, I wouldn’t wanna get in the way of the ultimate friendship sleepover,” Marlon rose to his feet and instantly intertwined his fingers with Sophie’s when she got up. The two thanked the staff of the small diner they had found and were on their way.

“Thanks for being flexible on scheduling, I really appreciate it,” Sophie planted a kiss on Marlon’s cheek. Marlon gave a somewhat dorky smile at that and the two walked on. Sophie couldn’t wait for this weekend and all the fun that was going to come from it.

“Alrighty, I grabbed the drinks and you have the pizza,” Sophie commented as she watched Renata balance a pizza on her head while carrying a bowl of popcorn and candy in her arms.

“Yep! We are all set for the ultimate night!” Renata carefully spun around to flash a grin at her best friend. The  pair wandered to the back living room and placed down their food.

“Okay, Minnie has a gig right now, my dads are staying late at their jobs and Tenn is at AJ’s where I’m sure those two are trying to convince him to play Skunk Me. So the whole house-” Sophie was cut off when she sat down and a loud fart sound emitted from the couch. Renata burst out laughing. Her laughter only grew when Sophie reached to grab the whoopee cushion but ended up setting off another.

“Ha ha, Ren, you better watch out. I heard karma farts are the worst,” Sophie warned but ended up laughing at her own statement.

“I better watch out then. But I’m not afraid - I have the ultimate radar for pranks,” Renata casually sat down on the other couch. Immediately a whoopee cushion went off and it was Sophie’s turn to laugh. Clearly the two of them had the same brain when it came to the opening prank for this evening of fun. Both of them laughed for a minute before Renata hopped up.

“Okay, let's start this off with a classic,” Renata strolled forward and went to where the DVDs were. Running her finger along the rims of the cases, her eyes searched for the movie she wanted. After a minute of searching she found it: 102 Dalmatians.

“I can’t wait to see my baby Oddball!” Sophie excitedly hopped up and jogged over to grab the blankets and pillows.

“I can’t wait to see Cruella De Vil baked into a cake! Top ten cinematic masterpiece moments,”

As soon as the disc was inserted some ads and commercials for older movies started to play. Renata spun around and worked with Sophie to make the ultimate blanket and pillow fort. She scampered this way and that to get everything set while Sophie used her height to hold up blankets at a higher level than Renata could. Renata set up the pillow pillars and placeholders for the edges of the blankets and Sophie let go of the blankets then worked to make the comfiest area ever inside the fort, filled with pillows and their snacks. Renata grabbed the TV and DVD remotes and joined her best friend in their little fort.

“I have to say we have outdone ourselves this time, Soph!” Renata looked around the fort with pride. Looking over, she saw the same pride dance within Sophie’s eyes.

“Yep, I say we did a pretty killer job. Let’s celebrate with a drink!” Sophie cracked open a Jamaica soda for Renata who accepted it gratefully before chugging nearly half of its contents. Sophie opened her orange Fanta and proceeded to do the same.

“Okay, now to see if our mystery pizza is good this time,” Renata rubbed her hands together in excitement then tossed open the pizza box. There stood half of a cheese pizza and the mystery half which this time held a copious amount of caramelized onions and jalapenos. Sophie braved the mystery pizza this time and Renata watched her best friend with baited breath. This was it - it would finally be a good mystery pizza.

It wasn’t. The overwhelming amount of onions mixed with the spicy kick of the jalapenos just didn't vibe with either of them. But soon they moved past that as Renata started the movie before she began to scarf down the pizza. The two friends immediately got caught up in the joy of the movie, commenting on how adorable Oddball was and the other doggos.

“Man, I want to get a dalmatian sometime in the future, They are so cute !” Renata dunked her pizza crust in hot sauce and stuffed it in her mouth.

“Do it! I’m sure Minnie would love having a dalmatian too,” Sophie teased her best friend who was shocked by the sentence for a few seconds but immediately recovered.

“I sure hope so. Because me and the dalmatian that doesn’t have a name are a package deal.” Renata noticed that Sophie was hogging the popcorn and motioned for her to toss some her way.

Sophie grabbed a few kernels and tossed them at Renata’s mouth. “Please, if anything you and Minnie are the package deal that the dog will have to take or leave.” She opened up some skittles and began to toss those as well.

“True, you’re right. Nothing's gonna break me and Minipie apart,”

Soon their focus returned to the movie and they laughed, enjoying all the different scenes. Before they knew it they had reached the iconic cake factory scene. Renata and Sophie cheered on the different dalmatians and other dogs as they took down Cruella De Vil. Sophie crowed with joy and pride when the dogs used the frosting to decorate the cake.

“That’s true art!” Sophie clapped her hands and Renata joined in.

“Can’t forget the cake topper!” Renata added as the parrot flew forward and placed it on top of Cruella’s head. The two friends watched with amusement, chuckling as Cruella De Vil crashed into the shop’s window and got arrested. Both of them cheered and clapped as Oddball got her spots and soon the movie was done.

“That's such a great movie,” Sophie crawled out of the fort and brushed the crumbs off her clothes.

“It really is.” Renata scurried out. “So, you ready for our dance off?” She looked at the redhead with a confident smirk

“Hell yeah!” Sophie returned the smirk.

The pair of friends happily danced to music blasting out of Renata’s phone to warm up before they did their official dance off. It was obvious who was the better dancer. Dancing had always been Renata’s passion and with all the different types of dancing she knew she was able to incorporate different styles together, making cool and unique dance moves to the beat of the song. Sophie, on the other hand, wasn’t a good dancer by any stretch of the imagination. Sophie nor Renata seemed to mind at all though. In fact, Renata loved how Sophie tried to incorporate the chicken dance into a song that it clearly wasn’t meant for before attempting an odd version of the worm.

The friends continued to dance, quickly hopping onto the couches and jumping to the beat of the song. Both of them danced around each other and laughed as the music continued. Soon I Love It by Icona Pop came on and Sophie and Renata shared a smile. Both of them belted out the lyrics and had so much fun dancing to the song that they put it on repeat. They were so caught up in joy of the moment that they didn’t hear Tenn’s quiet voice announce that he was home. He slowly wandered back when he heard the music and saw Renata and Sophie hopping on the couches. Sophie was in the middle of singing when she spotted her little brother.

“Hey Tenn!” Sophie’s smile faded for a moment when she remembered this song had swears in it. Quickly Sophie sung the lyrics louder than the song while she traversed the couches towards Renata’s phone to stop it. “I crashed my car into the bridge, I watched, I let it burn! I threw your shoe into a bag and pushed it down the stairs.” Sophie gave a mighty leap and continued to sing until she grabbed the phone and paused the music.

“Hiya, Tenn! How’s my favorite little artist doing?” Renata hopped off the couch and held out her fist for a fistbump.

“I’m doing good.” Tenn smiled and returned the fist bump.

“I thought I was your favorite artist,” Sophie teased her friend as she walked forward to give her little brother a welcome home hug.

“You’re my favorite tall artist,” Renata pointed out and Sophie seemed to accept that answer and was about to add something but Renata spoke up first. “And before you ask about Min, she is my favorite musician.”

“Dang, I almost got you,” Sophie gave a playful smile before looking back at Tenn. “So, did you have a good time at AJ’s?”

“Yeah! We made our own comic!” Tenn beamed and revealed the comic in his hands. Sophie and Renata both made excited sounds and soon all three of them were looking through the comic together.

“You gotta show Minnie tomorrow since it seems her jig ran super late,” Sophie glanced at the time.

“Yeah, I will. I’m gonna head to bed. I’ll see you in the morning,” Tenn hugged his sister and Renata good night and walked off.

“Get ready for the best French toast tomorrow morning!” Renata called out and Tenn gave a thumbs up before disappearing further in the house. Soon Sophie and Renata got caught up in some games. The time flew by and before they realized it it was three in the morning. Both of them snuck back into their blanket and pillow fort and began to get ready to sleep. The two continued to crack jokes and talked about all the crazy toppings they’d put on the French toast tomorrow. Renata boasted that she’d make the ultimate French toast shaped like a heart for Minnie and would find the perfect ingredients to make it the best it could be. After a few more minutes of talking the pair grew quiet.

“Hey, Ren?” Sophie whispered over to her friend.

“Yeah?” Renata peeked her head out from her pile of blankets.

Sophie was quiet for a second. “I’m glad you're my best friend. You’re always a lot of fun to be around and you’ve helped me through a lot so thanks,”

Sophie’s words made Renata’s heart feel warm and a soft smile pulled on her lips. “Awww, thanks Soph! I’m super lucky to have you as a best friend! Usually at this point people write me off as too much trouble or too obnoxious to be best friend material,” Renata glanced over at Sophie and noticed her frown.

“Yeah, well they’re stupid then. If I ever met them, I’d let them know that it was their loss and that they were dummies to let go of a friend like you!” Sophie whisper shouted and Renata chuckled.

“Thanks. Oh! Maybe chocolate hot sauce would be good on French toast.” Renata’s mind had switched to another lane of conversation.

“Oh! Yes! Let’s try that out. We should get some sleep though,” Sophie yawned and shifted under her blanket more.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Renata rolled over and in seconds was out like a light.

Sophie felt herself drifting in and out of sleep. She kept readjusting her head on her pillow to get that perfect spot. The redhead rolled over to see if she could sleep on her back when suddenly a loud fart sound emitted from under her and Sophie let out a yell and whacked her head against one of the pillow pillars, causing a blanket to fall on her face. “Ren!”

Sophie looked over expecting to see her friend giggling but she was nowhere to be found. It only took Sophie a moment to know where she went. Crawling out of the fort with the six whoopee cushions Renata had hidden throughout it, Sophie tiptoed through the house, making sure not to wake up any of her family members.

She wandered up the stairs and soon stood by Minnie’s bed. Her guess had been right. Renata was snuggled close to Minnie, wrapped around her like a koala. Minnie’s arms were wrapped around her girlfriend. Both of them looked so peaceful and happy. Sophie debated whether she should go through with her plan. After a few seconds she reached out and tapped Minnie’s shoulder. Minnie stirred and looked over at her twin.

“Sophie? What are you doing here? Were you worried about Ren? It's okay, she’s with me.” Minnie mumbled sleepily and felt her heartbeat quicken as Renata nuzzled her face against Minnie’s neck.

“I was looking for Renata but it wasn’t out of worry,” Sophie replied. Minnie noticed the look in her sister’s eyes.

“What did Ren do this time?”

“Fart attacked me.” Sophie’s response made Minnie’s eyebrows furrow.

“Like real farts or-”

“Whoopee cushions. Anyways, can you get up for a second? I wanna get back at her,” Sophie held up the multiple whoopee cushion she had brought. Minnie considered it for a few moments then nodded. Renata probably knew Sophie would get back at her and besides Minnie could always cuddle with Renata after this. She kissed Renata’s forehead and her cheek softly, causing her girlfriend to stir before the redhead untangled her arms and got up. Sophie gave a small thanks then set up all the whoopee cushions. Without warning she slammed her hands down on the cushions, making a loud chorus of farts. Renata yelped and jolted up too suddenly, causing her to slip off the bed.

“Ow,” Renata rubbed her butt and looked up when she heard Sophie’s laughter. “Ah, so these are the karma farts you were talking about. I can’t believe you did this after we had a heart to heart,”

“Yeah, well you started it with the whoopee cushions so I guess now we had a fart to fart.” Sophie’s sentence made Renata  and Minnie laugh. After the laughter died down Sophie headed back downstairs, already knowing that Renata would want to go back to cuddling with Minnie.

The night went quickly after that and as daylight broke Sophie was greeted with the warm, alluring smell of French toast. Entering the kitchen, she saw her dads Matthew and Walter sharing some small kisses here and there as they got the morning coffee together. Walter gave Matthew a hug from behind and kissed his neck before he noticed his daughter. “Morning, Doodlebug. Sleep okay?”

“Yeah,” Sophie walked further in and saw that Minnie was flipping French toast while Renata was working with Tenn to shape the pieces of bread into hearts. Sophie shared a smile with her best friend when Renata looked up. This sleepover really had been a ton of fun and it looked like it would last well into the morning. Sophie’s heart grew warm as she took in the sight of the kitchen. This was gonna be an awesome breakfast.

[njawaidofficial]

Critic's Notebook: 'The Strain' Series Finale Ends With Both a Bang and a Whimper

http://styleveryday.com/2017/09/19/critics-notebook-the-strain-series-finale-ends-with-both-a-bang-and-a-whimper/

Critic's Notebook: 'The Strain' Series Finale Ends With Both a Bang and a Whimper

[Warning: Spoilers ahead for the series finale of FX’s The Strain.]

Sunday night’s TV offerings had a little something for everybody. Most eyeballs were probably focused on either the Emmys or Sunday Night Football, but the programming slate also included Fear the Walking Dead for zombie lovers, the premiere of The Vietnam War for documentary enthusiasts and Ballers for Sen. Elizabeth Warren.

Sunday also marked the end of FX’s The Strain, though if you’re like me, you probably didn’t see or hear much conversation about the conclusion of the vampire saga, which points to how easy it is for a show to go from buzzworthy to functionally irrelevant, while still lasting a reasonably successful four seasons, in a saturated TV climate.

It’s become hard to remember, but when The Strain premiered in 2013, there was a lot of hype behind it. FX was hoping The Strain might be its version of The Walking Dead, an apocalyptic horror monster mash with blockbuster aspirations and also pretensions of quality. The Strain arrived with literary pedigree, coming from a decent series of books by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan. As elevated and reliable as genre auteur as you could hope to find, del Toro was directing the pilot and Lost co-mastermind Carlton Cuse was serving as showrunner. Off his season of House of Cards and a couple movie roles, Corey Stoll was one of Hollywood’s most in-demand leading men, and the supporting cast included actors bringing Alias (Mia Maestro), Lost (Kevin Durand), Game of Thrones (David Bradley) and Lord of the Rings (Sean Astin) credibility.

I really like the pilot for The Strain. It’s slow-moving, but also mighty creepy and when the strigoi (as the show preferred to rebrand vampires) began attacking people with their phallic tongue/sucker things, there was a visceral response that felt much in keeping with del Toro’s body of work.

The series inched along for most of its first season, picking off only a couple humans per episode and leaving some doubt on the strigoi’s commitment to overwhelm New York City with sufficient speed, and, as it meandered, people kept being distracted by silly things instead of the show itself.

There was also Stoll’s wig. It was not a good wig. It was not a purposeful wig. It was written off of the show in the second season amidst claims that they needed Stoll’s Dr. Ephraim Goodweather to have a look that he could change when he became a wanted man in an increasingly vampire-friendly city. Still, the wig became a running joke and a narrative, something it probably wouldn’t have become if the show had been hooking viewers in different ways.

There were the billboards. One of the series’ best vampire-related conceits was the idea that the “strain” of vampirism was carried via white blood worms that, once loose, could crawl into your skin or, more primally, into your eyes. A series of billboards including blood worms crawling into an exposed eye became topics of controversy and conversation in Los Angeles, but maybe the grossness of the billboards kept people from talking about the similar grossness of the TV show?

Then there was Zach, son of Eph and quick-to-become-a-vampire Kelly (Natalie Brown). In no time, Zach became a poster boy for bad cable child characters, a pouting whelp who couldn’t stop whining about his dad not playing catch with him, even as the world was ending. Ben Hyland, the original Zach, was not especially good and between the first and second season, he was replaced by Max Charles under the ostensible claim that they wanted an actor more able to track Zach’s journey into darkness.

It didn’t work, and I guess complaints about Zach are, unlike the wig and the billboards, complaints about the show. The writers got hung up on Zach being important to the series’ endgame because he was important to the endgame of the books, but by the third season and especially into the fourth, the show had nothing to do with the books anymore and Zach had evolved not into a crucial piece of the narrative tapestry, but into one of the worst characters ever to be integral to an otherwise decent program. Things around Zach got darker and darker and Zach pouted more and more aggressively. Like really aggressively. How aggressively petulant did Zach get? He detonated a nuclear device in New York City in the third season finale because his dad wanted to kill his vampire mom. Now that’s pouting. 

After reaching that crescendo, Zach’s four-season plotline was basically: The Master, serving as a surrogate father to Zach, gave him a cute slave girl to clean his quarters. Zach fell in love with her, but she already had a boyfriend and so, having been put in the friend zone, Zach pouted and let her get eaten. I don’t think I’m doing a good enough job explaining how bad this was as a multi-episode arc for a major character in what had already been announced as a show’s final season.

Then, in the finale, Zach detonated another nuclear weapon, this time underground. The first detonation was out of pique, the second was out of love. My favorite hacky Twitter punchline is the one that goes, “In the end, the real [enter show/movie title] was love.” And that’s what The Strain went with for its series finale. The vampires thought they could use human connections and relationships to spread their “strain,” but they failed to properly gauge that our human capacity for love would also be their undoing, because Zach was willing to choose his father over the vampires and blow them all up, safely beneath the city.

This had always been part of the show’s DNA, so I’m only going to somewhat fault The Strain for this and for the repetitiveness of ending consecutive seasons with a bratty kid blowing up a nuke.

What can’t be escaped and what caused the show to have such an unsatisfying finale is that it killed off its two best characters with weeks to go before the end. Anybody who lists favorite characters in The Strain without Setrakian (Bradley) and Eichhorst (Richard Sammel) in the top two positions (in either order) isn’t trustworthy, and I get that their rivalry, dating back to the Holocaust, wasn’t necessarily the endgame of the show and had to be completed early. But that meant we reached the finale and what we were left with was pouty Zach, wig-free Eph and an odd narrative reversion to pretend that the romance between strangely accented exterminator Vasiliy Fet (Durand) and sexually fluid hacker Dutch (Ruta Gedmintas) was meaningful enough to be an endgame relationship. It really was not. We got to the last scenes of the finale and I guess I was pleased that Zach blew up The Master and the sun came back out, but a happily-ever-after for Fet and Dutch meant nothing. When we met Dutch, she had a girlfriend and then she was with Fet and then with Eph and then with Fet, even though Fet had been with some new character I didn’t care about at all as recently as two or three episodes ago. And that’s before we get into how I’m pretty sure Miguel Gomez’s Gus only survived to the end because the writers kept forgetting he was there.

I guess it was an appropriate end in that, at its best, The Strain was a show that often featured great elements, but never knew what to do with any of them. That’s the sort of thing that happens when you have a three-book series as a template and abandon the books and then go from a three-year plan to a five-year plan to a four-year plan. The last season had these spectacular conceptual ideas related to a society in which vampires treated humans as cattle, but other than some prematurely truncated material in a fertility clinic/blood farm, it ducked away from any complicated speculative fiction allegory or imagination and concentrated on a couple separate road trips in search of the bomb and associated parts, as well as Victorian England vampire flashbacks that were just an excuse to keep Rupert Penry-Jones’ Quinlan around, while also letting him wear a bit less makeup for a few weeks.

The legacy of The Strain ends up being not a huge hit for FX, but also not an embarrassment the network should avoid discussing at parties. Instead, it was a show with some cool ideas, a couple great characters, one all-time awful character, some properly disturbing effects and no idea of how to bring it all together. And that’s how you end up airing your series finale opposite the Emmys without anybody noticing.

The Strain