#acting the way this person did is disrespectful to the band and to everyone else in the audience

[copia]

the one negative thing i have to say is that please don't be screaming every single line and pushing into the barricade mid-show and fake hyperventilating through the quiet parts so that my short recording of the piano intro to atlantic is dominated by some heavy breathing from behind (to that person, it's not just you in the audience)

[tomssexdoll]

Fire and Ice

PAIRINGS: Tom 2010 x Female reader

CONTENT: ANGST + SMUT + FLUFF

SYPNOSIS: Tom and Y/N have been enemies for years, they go to the same university and he is such a pain in the ass. One day at a party they get into an argument, one slap leading to him giving Y/N a taste of how he really felt about her.

A/N: if you want to be tagged or i accidently missed your tag comment on my pinned masterlist <3

WARNINGS: dom!tom, sub!reader, p in v (missionary but turns into riding), mutual masturbation, LOTS OF TEASING AND KISSING, arguing (some violence but only a tiny bit)

Tom kaulitz was my "enemy", he was in the same university as me and much to my luck, every single class I was in. He was a pain in the ass, a real asshole. He always teased me, only choosing to be an asshole to me and nobody else.

I didn't really know why he chose me to be his personal punching bag, it's not like I ever did anything, he was always just like that, trying to target me in any way he could, finding flaws and running with them.

He acted like an immature teenager, throwing paper balls at me just to spite me, he was disrespectful, always invading my personal space. I was sick of it, I came close to just punching him in the face multiple times and he loved it, he loved the reactions he got out of me.

One day, I got invited to one of his friends parties at their mansion. It was gonna be quite a big party, filled with hundreds of people I didn't know. My friends were going and I decided to not let Tom dictate my night, wanting to have fun without him disturbing it like he always did. I got dressed, wearing a skimpy red dress that accentuated my curves, paired with some black louboutins. I chose a simple makeup look and straightened my hair, keeping it down.

We arrived quite late, walking inside the mansion and admiring the interior design, walking outside where everyone was. We were greeted by the host and given some drinks, the music blasting in our ears and the smell of alcohol wafting through the air. We looked around to see a majority of people in the pool, splashing around and having fun, the cool night air breezing against our skin.

He was in the garden, talking to some friends. He was already quite drunk, wearing a white t shirt with some random band on it, dark blue baggy jeans and a leather jacket. He had a cigarette in one hand and beer in another, taking occasional drags from his cigarette, blowing the smoke into the night sky.

I walked over to the cooler, I had already finished my drink and rummaged through it, finding bottles upon bottles of beer until I spotted a seltzer can, I grabbed it and cracked it open, taking a small sip.

Toms eyes caught me from across the yard. He muttered something to his friends before saunting over, his movements confident and purposeful. He stopped a few feet away, eyeing the rink in my hand with a smirk. I was with my friends, they just settled with the beer and we started to talk.

Tom interrupted my conversation, his voice loud over the music, "not drinking tonight?" he teased, tipping his beer bottle towards my seltzer. His tone was mocking, as if he didn't believe I'd have the self control, "or are you on a special diet?" he pouted sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and looked him up and down, "fuck off Tom, go back to your deadbeat friends, I'm sure they'd love your company right now," I winked, making a blowjob motion in my mouth, with my tongue, my friends chuckling with me.

Toms face darkened, he stepped closer, towering over me. "You've got a smart mouth on you," he growled, leaning in, his voice low, "careful...it might get you into trouble.." he paused, his gaze flicking to my lips. I bursted out laughing, "aww I'm so scared, mr tough guy! Get the fuck out of here Tom," I turned back to my friends.

Toms hand shoots out, grabbing my arm and spinning me back around to face him. His grip is firm, almost painful, "you think this is fucking funny?" he sneered. "You think you're better than me?" he raised his voice, looking at my friends, a cold glare. "Hey! Don't talk to my fucking friends like that, have some respect!" I raised my voice back, shoving him off me.

He stumbled back a step, surprise flashing across his face before his expression hardened again. He took a step forward, crowding my personal space, I had to admit, he was kind of sexy when he was mad. "You push me..I push back.." he gave me a small shove, "you shove me, I shove harder," he said darkly.

I slapped him harshly across the face, the sound of the slap echoing, catching everyone's attention, "get the fuck away from me Tom!" I screamed. His head snapped to the side, for a moment he was stunned, his hand coming up to touch his reddening cheek. Then his eyes narrowed dangerously as he turned back to me, "you fucking bitch.." he grunted, his chest heaving with intense anger.

Without warning, Tom grabbed my waist and threw me over his shoulder, "you think you're fucking tough, huh? You think you can mouth off to me and get away with it? I don't fucking think so!" he yelled, marching inside the house as I kicked and screamed.

"GET OFF ME YOU BASTARD! FUCK YOU!" I kept screaming obscenities at him, clawing at his back and kicking his stomach, but he didn't budge, my blows to him were like tiny punches. He laughed at my attempts to escape and bursted into an empty bedroom, sitting me down on the dresser.

He stood in between my legs and looked down at me, his eyes burning with rage, "look at me.." he growled, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look up at him, "why do you have to be so difficult all the time, hm?" he said lowly. I scoffed and looked at him in disbelief, "you were the one that fucking started it Tom, don't start with that shit!" his jaw clenched, his hands fisting at his sides.

"I don't give a fuck whether I started it or not, you don't get to just slap me around whenever you feel like it," I furrowed my eyebrows, "and you don't get to taunt me whenever you feel like it, you're such a fucking hypocrite!" I raised my voice, I could physically feel the anger rising in me.

"Shut your mouth.." he hissed, grabbing my chin tighter, "oh fuck you Tom, shut your fu-" he silenced me with a brutal, passionate kiss, crashing his mouth against mine, his hands gripping my thighs painfully tight. He kissed me rough and hard, his teeth biting into my lower lip.

When he pulled back, we were both breathing heavy, chests heaving. "You fucking infuriate me.." he growled, "oh shut up you love it," I glared at him and smashed my lips into his once again, passionately kissing him, our tongues fighting for dominance.

He groaned against my mouth, his hands coming up and tangling in my hair. He kissed me back just as passionately, his anger morphing into desire. He grinded his hips against mine, showing me just how much he does 'love it'.

"You're such a fucking cunt..I hate you.." I grunted against his lips, he chuckled, "you hate me, I hate you," he muttered, his mouth moving to my neck. He sucked and bit at my skin, marking me, "but we both know you'd beg for me.." he smirked.

I rolled my eyes, "wipe that shit eating grin off your face, you're not smart," he chuckled and kept kissing my neck, trailing up to my jawline, "cmon baby.." he pouted, "stop fighting me, let me make you feel good.." he whispered in my ear, his breath hot.

I bit my lip and turned my head to the side, "mmmh...stubborn girl.." he moved his hands down my body, grabbing my thighs and pulling me closer to him. His grin widened, knowing it'd irritate me. He slid his hands under my dress and gently grazed his fingers over my panty covered pussy, letting his fingers drag along, teasing me.

"Tom.." I gasped, looking up at him, "that's it baby...relax.." he cooed, his voice filled with sarcasm. "Oh fuck you.." I reached my hand out and grabbed his bulge, squeezing it softly, "not so fun when it's being done to you, hm?" he inhaled sharply as I groped him, his hips jerking forward into my touch.

"Careful.." he warned, but his voice was strained with pleasure. He grabbed the straps of my dress and dragged them down my shoulders, letting them slip through my arms. He then reached behind me, gently gliding the zipper down, in one swift motion he took my dress off, revealing myself to him.

I was barely wearing a bra and panties, I had a black thong on and a skimpy lacy bra, my tits practically spilling out of my bra. "Fuck you're gorgeous.." he groaned, diving his head down and kissing my neck once again, leaving a new trail of hickeys.

"You walk around looking like that.." he spread my thighs wider, growling softly in my ear, "it's asking for trouble.." he trailed his kisses down to my collarbone, then my cleavage.

I gently pushed him back, grabbing his belt and sliding it off. My fingers focused on the buttons of his jeans, letting it fall down and pool at his ankles. His shirt followed soon after, I trailed my fingers down his abs, watching as he stood before me only in his boxers, his erection strained and his muscular physique on full display.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in, using one of my hands to bring his hand to my wet pussy, "don't be afraid.." I smirked, my words laced with playfulness. "Mmmh.." he hummed, slipping a finger beneath my thong and into me.

He pumped in and out slowly, his thumb rubbing circles over my sensitive bud. "And what am I afraid of exactly..." he whispered, "of this...?" he added another finger, causing me to moan softly.

"Mmmh..good girl.." he praised. I used my free hand to trail it down his stomach to his lower belly, then to his boxers. I slipped my hand inside and found his hard cock, pulling it out and slowly jerking him off in time with his thrusts.

His eyes rolled back as I jerked him off, his hips rocking against my hand. He curled his fingers deeper inside me, fucking me with his hand as he toyed with my clit. "Fuck...fuck!" he panted, his free hand fisting on the dresser.

I leaned in and kissed him passionately, speeding up my movements on his cock, my hand rapidly gliding up and down his shaft. He groaned loudly and sped up his movements, rapidly pumping his fingers in and out of my needy pussy, curling upwards to drive me crazy, hitting that spot inside me that I loved.

"Mmmh!" I whined against his lips, we continued our movements together, getting each other off. The kiss got more passionate as things got more heated, our orgasms approaching rapidly. I felt a fire in my stomach, a burning sensation I desperately needed to satisfy.

I could feel his cock twitching in my hand, desperate for release, my pussy also throbbed against his fingers, my clit sensitive and aching. "You're so fucking sexy..oh fuck..gonna cum.." he grunted, his chest heaving, his hand on the dresser unfisting and coming to my thigh, holding onto me tightly.

I moaned and rolled my eyes back, my orgasm coming crashing down in time with his, he let out a low, guttural moan against my mouth, his hips jerking forward as he spilled into my hand. He rested his forehead against mine, breathing heavily, "bed..."he mumbled, lifting me and carrying me to the bed, throwing me onto it, "now.." he crawled up towards me, hovering over me.

I grabbed his face and kissed him passionately, I needed his lips on mine, forever. He kissed me back fiercely, years of pent up frustration pouring out. His tongue dominated mine, teeth clashing as he pinned me to the bed. He settled between my thighs, breaking off the kiss, his chest heaving as his fully erect cock pressed against my core.

He moved his hands down and yanked my thong off, then moving to my bra. He practically ripped my bra off, grabbing my tits and squishing them together, shoving his face in them, licking and sucking relentlessly, "so good..fuck..these perfect fucking tits..oh god.." he groaned, licking and sucking my nipples rapidly.

"Please fuck me.." I whined, my hands roaming around in his hair. He kept feasting on my chest, his mouth and hands everywhere at once. He licks and bites at my supple mounds, his calloused fingers pinching and rolling my hardened peaks. He pulled back, his eyes hungrily taking in my heaving chest, "look at you..so desperate for my cock...hm? Aren't you?" he growled.

When I didn't answer he reached up, his hand fisting in my hair and pulling on it, bringing me close to his face. "Aren't you?" he repeated, his voice raised, I nodded eagerly and whined, "please...give me your cock Tom, stop fucking teasing!"

He chuckled and spread my legs, hooking his arms in my thighs and pulling me closer, his tip prodding at my entrance, waiting impatiently. With a grunt, the thrusted forward, burying himself inside me in one smooth motion.

"Holy fuck!" I gasped, he didn't give me time to adjust, immediately starting to piston in and out of me at a brutal pace. He grips my thighs hard, his fingers digging into my flesh as he fucked me mercilessly, "TOM!" I yelped, holding onto him tightly, my tits bouncing wildly as his thrusts kept increasing.

He grinned wickedly, loving the way I reacted to him. He leaned down and kissed me hard, swallowing my cries as he continued to pound into me. "You take me so well.." he groaned, his hands squeezing my backside. I whined and kept kissing him, I could almost feel him in my throat.

He suddenly flipped us around so I was on top, he sat up against the pillows of the bed and grabbed my ass tightly, lifting me up and slamming me onto his cock repeatedly, I rolled my eyes back, the intense pleasure causing my body to shake.

"I can't take it! Too much!" I cried out, his eyes darkened and he thrusted harder, "you're going to take, every. single. inch." he said, his words in time with his thrusts. "Understand?" he whispered sadistically, I nodded and whimpered, my legs trembling uncontrollably.

He smirked arrogantly, knowing he was overwhelming me, but he loved it, he loved how I fell apart against him. He continued to lift and drip me onto his lap, his powerful arms handling me with ease. "Touch yourself...touch that sensitive clit baby, show me how much you love this cock stuffed inside you.." he grumbled, guiding my hand down.

"I've waited so long for this moment, everytime I see you I can't stop thinking about how fucking hard I'd make you take my cock..the sounds you'd make.." he whispered against my skin.

I rubbed shaky circles on my clit, my mouth slightly agape as I felt my orgasm rapidly approaching, I was being sent into a state of pure ecstasy, my vision going blurry. "Cmon, cum for me baby!" he yelled, placing his hand over mine and speeding my hand up, "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" I moaned loudly, my pussy clenching around his cock tightly as my orgasm came crashing down.

He groaned loudly "this pussy is so fucking good, fuck!" he slammed me down one last time, burying himself to the hilt as he exploded inside me, cum leaking down my walls. He held me tight, his face buried in my neck as he rode out his high.

"Oh my god...fuck..." he panted, "that was amazing.." I whispered, my chest heaving as I tried to calm down. After a while of settling down, I got up, my shaky legs walking over to find my clothes, as I went searching I caught a glimpse of myself, something on my neck.

I turned to look, my eyes widening as I saw my neck and chest were FULL of hickeys. "Hickeys? Seriously Tom, what are you, 12?" I groaned, running my fingers over them, he chuckled and came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and inspecting them, "fuck..I did a number on you didn't I," he pressed a soft kiss to my shoulder, "oops.." he mumbled.

"Lets get out of here, yeah?" he turned me to face him, his eyes softer now. I nodded softly and gathered all my clothes, sitting on the bed to get dressed. He put his clothes back on, adjusting himself and taking my hand, guiding me out of the party.

tags: @ballhair @bills-wife-1 @bkaulitzlover

tags: @ella1289 @billsdolliest @tomscumdoll

tags: @tomsfuckdoll @tomkslut @miyukafujii

tags: @itsangelll

[spikrock]

how i feel every mtp character was mischaracterized by the old fandom

basically me describing my icks about mtp fics that ive seen from like 10 years ago/kinda sorta my personality hcs. bear with me here, because they are all my headcanons/opinions and i dont want to make it sound like i think my ideas are the only way you can see the characters...(talking into the void)

Alice: she loses her spunkiness! she becomes a perfectly sweet and agreeable person in almost every fic ive read. i dont see her like this. in my mind, alice is a good mix of kind and understanding with hot headed and stubborn. everyone in the band loves her and she’s easy to get along with, but that doesn’t mean she’s perfect. i feel like fics always wrote her as the mom friend, and i dont really like that. i feel like it’s just because shes the only girl (ive read very few fics where caterpillar is written as a girl) alice really doesn’t scream “mom friend” to me. i see her as pretty chaotic and impulsive. she’s kind of immature, but she always has good intentions in mind and most people in her life admire her, so it’s easy to miss. you know? 

Tarrant: ouuugh boy. in my mind, tarrant is a lovable idiot, his ideas are wacky, sometimes he says things that make zero sense to anyone but him (and maybe thackery and mally), and he’s typically bad at reading a room, being cheerful most of the time (even if his friends arent). most fics i read write him as this! which is great, because i think it’s pretty close to how i see him. he’s pretty much always written as comic relief, which is fine by me. 

my problem starts with how the other characters treat tarrant. they act like hes annoying…ive read so many fics where tarrant will say something a little wacky and every character in the scene side-eye one another and go, “okaaaay, tarrant…🙄” or something similar, and it makes me mad!! so many times i see scenes where alice is “apologizing” for him, when all he did was…talk? be around? the bandmembers are his friends…they aren’t treating him like that, alice would NOT feel the need to apologize for him either? in fact, if alice felt like anyone was making fun of tarrant behind his back she’d fucking kill them. im so serious. 

Mally: not that cool. mally is a LOSER. and i say that with the most love imaginable. he’s got zero game, he’s fairly awkward when he’s not playing or on stage, he fails at like everything, he’s literally insane, and he doesnt think any of that is true. in mally’s mind, he is THE coolest and most special-ist person on the planet at all times and in all ways. he’s so lucky he wasnt subjected to fandom nowadays where people talk about killing their favorites with rocks or whatever. he wouldnt stand a chance. 

fics write him too cool, and too “normal”, if im being honest. this is something that happens to both mally and thackery, and idk. he’s insane!! hes a weirdo!!! the name of the band is MAD t party, i feel like they should all be at least a little crazy. idolmouse was giving them EVERYTHING in those shows and they just threw it all away 😔 the disrespect…

Thackery: they make him way too shy and quiet and nervous when he isnt like that at all. thackery, in my mind, is definitely quieter and less showy than his bandmates, but he’s still as energetic as they are. he, unlike some of his other bandmates, is fine to step back and let someone else be the center of attention. he just wants to be along for the ride; he doesn’t mind what songs he needs to learn for the shows or what they need him to do, he just wants to play in a band with his friends. none of that means he’s overly shy or timid or anything, though. i don’t really know where they got that? the most i see is when he’d hide behind his ears sometimes. but other than that he's always getting in people's faces and jumping around and they just forget hes silly as if thats not one of his most endearing traits like cmon now

and…it hurts even more because you can really tell while reading the fics that it’s because of the ship dynamic with mally that they write him this way. its really frustrating to me. i dont see them as opposites, more like slightly different variations of weird. 

Absolem/Adonis/Caterpillar AUGH whatever: ive only ever read one fic where they write caterpillar as ladypillar so maybe i should just put absolem but whatever.. too serious. too stoic. they basically just copy paste his personality from the 2010 movie. why? i dont know. he gets plenty of personality in the shows but old fics really just ignore that... his ass is NOT wise he plays the fucking keyboard in a band at disneyland 😭 he doesnt know shit 😭😭😭

he’s sort of just around to give advice to people. im just saying they could stand to let him be funny once in a while...hes just so serious even though he doesn’t really act that way on stage. i do like the idea of him being more like that when the bands first getting started but eventually coming out of his shell and letting himself have fun with the rest of them. and almost every caterpillar performer made him really aggressive lmao, i think they should’ve leaned into that it would have been funny. like he just punches someone in a fic. idk. i think we should let absolem hit people

Chessur: in the few fics ive read where chess does much of anything, he’s basically got the same problem that absolem’s got where they just sort of copypaste his movie-self, even down to the way he speaks. i REALLY hate that, they usually make absolem and chess talk all elegantly, esp compared to the other characters. its just really weird to me and makes them feel out of place. 

but out of all these characters, chess being the one that writer’s struggled to do much with makes sense. he’s behind that drumset all the time, he doesn’t get much explicit character shown, so i mean, what else were they gona turn to? going back to the 2010 movie is the next step ig. but also, i mean, it’s possible. it’s not like the performers NEVER did anything, because they did. you can still get a personality and come up with a character that isn’t just tim burton’s chessur but a human. 

i see chess as the quietest in the band; he isn’t shy, he doesn’t not want to be around his bandmates or anything, he’s just sort of quiet, unless someone speaks to him or he’s teasing someone lmao. i see him and mally as pretty similar, but neither of them like acknowledging or admitting it. hes meanspirited, but actually very caring and nice, you just gota know him. and hes closest to alice, so ofc SHE knows it. all his sarcastic comments to his friends are just how he says he loves them <3 if you ask, he’d tell you that he only joined the band because he knew they needed a drummer, but it was really cus he wanted to hang out at the tea party (he rarely went before because he and mally genuinely did not get along before the band) i think chess is the type to never talk and then randomly drop the most profound shit anyone has ever heard. idk, does any of that make sense?

so yeah. i know mad t party fandom was all about doing whatever you want with these characters cus there really wasnt much to base anything off of, but i dont think that really applies to their characters?? really just the stories? like they DO have characters and personalities. when people would say things like theyre acting when theyre on stage...that is so weird to me because thats literally just what the show itself is. where is the fun in saying that theyre not actually like how they are on stage? 

this is just a peek into how i see these silly little band guys…ive wanted to share my hcs for a while now, but like. my mind is just spaghetti. i know everything i want to say, but writing it down and putting it out there is just sooo hard. i hope the 5 people who will see this post will understand sort of what im trying to say here. thanks for reading if you read the whole thing thats insane. gold star fo you.

[jaeyongdx]

mujin meets him with attitude. in a bad way. jaeyong narrows his eyes at him in equal parts confusion and disbelief. jaeyong, as far as he's aware, was perfectly reasonable and friendly, but if mujin isn't going to offer him the same respect, then...fine.

"it takes like...30 seconds to shoot us a text. 'hey i'm still at the clinic i'll probably be another 20 minutes,' or literally anything. last i checked you have opposable thumbs and should be capable of that much," he replies. still calm, despite the irritation slowly seeping into his tone.

"okay, but...we all volunteer our time for this, yeah, but you not even giving us any indication of if or when you'll show up disrespects the time everyone else dedicates to this because we're supposed to be playing as a group," he points out.

mujin really seems to just not get it. maybe he got stuck with the brain of some stupid creature when he shapeshifted one time and that's why he's acting like this. surely it's not that hard to understand? "we're a band, dude. it's about playing together, not practicing our parts individually and 'keeping up' with each other. why did you even join if you don't wanna play with us outside of...what, shows every now and then?"

jaeyong is more annoyed by mujin's apparent absolute missing of the point than anything about him having a hard time keeping up, mostly because the answer to that question is a no-brainer. (jaeyong does not have a hard time keeping up.)

"we're all just doing this to have fun but we can't practice well without a drummer, and it's not as fun when you don't show up. if you really care so little then just don't come back?" okay, maybe that's extreme – or maybe not, honestly. if mujin doesn't care about the band, it's probably better for everyone involved if they just get another drummer.

"if it's actually like, timing conflicts and you having something else going on, then we can probably have practice on a different day. i don't think anybody would mind changing it if it means everybody can come to practice consistently. i think the biggest problem is us just not knowing what the fuck is going on, you know? you turning into animals doesn't exempt you from using your person communication skills."

it's been a long day. he loves his job, but being whined at by injured cats and trauma-dumped on by dogs who think their owners hate them every time they leave the house really takes a lot out of him. turns out, humans are often shitty pet-parents.

who'd've thought?

while the veterinarians at the clinic are there to perform the tasks they've been trained to do, mujin's knowledge of all species, and his ability to speak to them, simplifies the whole process. however, what the docs and other clinical staff don't realize is that he is the one who deals with the psychic damage from all of this. he's the only one who knows how these adorable little beats think, and feel.

he's the only one who hears them.

the amount of times he's had to deliver bad news is becoming kind of excessive, and while he realizes that's literally just part of his job, it still sucks to see his loved ones suffer. after all, animals, by nature, are innocent. many of them will never harm or bother you unless you provoke them. so, witnessing their trying times and misfortunes hits him harder than when a fellow human being faces similar fates.

is that a little fucked up of him? sure, but mujin doesn't really make excuses for it. in his honest opinion, the animal kingdom feels much more like family than those he shares district x with. there are some people he holds close to his heart—his mom and dad, other creature-hybrids, the few friends he's made here—and there are some who just... don't really matter, and his bandmates in devil's asphalt are individuals he doesn't really know where to place.

there's jisung, who he loves, and there's nari, who hates him, and jihu, who he sometimes forgets is even there, and then there's jaeyong.

oh, song jaeyong. he's the hot one. he's tall, and beautiful, and he's got that charming-yet-crooked smile that's equal parts punchable, and kissable. he's the one the crowd eye-fucks the entire time he's standing beneath those often shitty stage-lights, the type that look like they're about to fall and crush everyone below any second.

mujin agrees with how attractive he is, even though he'll never be someone who feeds his ego. its clearly already eaten way past its fill. for some reason, jaeyong's decided to confront him about his admittedly horrible attendance record, and he won't like, he's equal parts annoyed and intrigued. "do you think i have time to sit on my ass and send a message while i'm at the clinic?" he asks, standing from his seat; still clutching his drumsticks in both hands.

"i get here when i can, okay? besides, we're all just volunteering our time for this. it's casual, you know?" it's pretty dismissive, but he's just being honest. it's hard for him to take anything seriously. "just let me vibe. m'here to have a good time. i practice my parts during my downtime and days off. all you have to do is keep up with me. that's all." he knows it's not that simple, he's mostly being facetious, and it's only because he wants to irk jaeyong a little bit.

what can he say? he's sexy when he's mad.

"you having a hard time doing that, or?"

[chezzywezzywritinghelp]

The stranger things fandom (in my humble opinion) completely misinterpreted Jason’s character. He wasn’t some blatant, cruel bully or cheater or whatever people think of him.

If I was in his place, and the only explanation of what was going on was “assumed cult leader and drug dealer killed my girlfriend”, I’d be pissed, too.

Sure, he was a slight asshole, but he was still A BOYFRIEND SEEKING REVENGE FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND. The police weren’t doing jackshit, and the only explanation, as a rational person, is that Eddie Munson - who had a HORRIBLE reputation, mind you - killed Chrissy.

Even when he witnesses his own team member dying in front of him via supernatural bone crushing, who was right in front of him? None other than Eddie Munson.

Sure, it doesn’t make logical sense that someone could fucking float. But Eddie Munson - not only from Jason’s individual perception - was a renounced cult leader to anyone who didn’t know what DND is.

What the hell is anyone else is supposed to think? Jason was completely justifiable in his actions. He was grief stricken and angry.

ALSO, the first scene where we meet Eddie and Jason is just as justifiable. Calling Eddie a ‘freak’ isn’t the nicest, but Eddie was also being rather rude by disrespecting his passion and insulting literally the entire school (regardless of whether it was funny to us, the audience). As far as the show displayed, he never overtly focused on Eddie. My interpretation was that he judged but ignored, like everyone else.

The other scene where they trash the band’s garage - Jason’s girlfriend was just MURDERED. Sure, there’s no real justification for that, but at the end of the day, he was a teenage boy. Teenagers do stupid stuff.

In the finale, too, what does he stumble upon Lucas and Max doing? Something incredibly cultish. She was floating, just like his friend. Lucas was a member of Hellfire, so Jason does what he thinks is right. He’s trying to SAVE Max.

Jason really didn’t deserve as much hate as he got. He did some messed up stuff, but at the end of the day, it makes SENSE that he acted that way and assumed Eddie to be their murderer. I LIKED his character, because if I was Chrissy, I’d adore the guy. He has flaws, as all teenage boys do, but he was a FANTASTIC boyfriend acting on emotions and whims because he didn’t handle the grief right.

And let’s be honest. Those police were pretty incapable, too, but how the hell were they supposed to know about Vecna, right?

[heartcal]

“who do you believe?”; l.h.

Disclaimer: i didn’t want to write sierra as a bad person because i personally cannot see that, and i know there’s some discourse about her within in the fandom but i don’t want any of that here! so i named the girlfriend after a girl who bullied me in elementary school lol (but another disclaimer: i do not want to see any hate towards the boys’ s/o! pls don’t send any asks that talks bad about them, i will not answer them!)

thank you for requesting! :^)

a/n: while transfering this from microsoft word, the formatting kept screwing up for some reason so if there are some janky paragraphs, i apologize! not too comfortable with this one compared to my previous fic (this feels rushed) but it is long and i did not mean for that to happen lol. enjoy!

if there are any mistakes, please tell me!

pairing(s): not really a mention of luke hemmings x reader but it’s mostly luke hemmings x named gf (rachel/oc) (gender neutral but if i slipped up, please let me know!)

summary: having known luke for years, it was bound to happen eventually. the crush you developed happened before you could stop it, and you did your best to keep it a secret. you told no one, did your best not to show it, so what do you do when his girlfriend finds out?

genre: angst, and mostly angst >:^)

warnings: swearing, luke’s gf being mean, bullying?

wc: 4,057 (she’s a long one)

my masterlist!

You don’t know when it happened, or frankly how it happened, but one thing is for sure: you don’t want to feel this way.

Was it when he bought you a stuffed animal version of a pet you had as a kid, one that you remember so fondly and still tear up about it to this day? Or was it when he would always bring back a certain candy you can only find in its country of origin, and bring as much as customs would allow? Maybe it was when he printed out every photo he could find from the beginning of your friendship to the present day (at that time) and made a scrapbook for your birthday since you cherish memories?

Whatever memory it was, you want to track it down and destroy it. It wasn’t fair that you developed such strong feelings for your best friend, knowing he doesn’t feel the same since he’s taken.

It’s not that he isn’t attractive – far from that because if anything, you wish you could draw just so you can draw him because there’s no way someone can look that good – but it’s more of the fact that he’s your best friend, someone you hold dear to you.

You two grew up together; saw each other’s worst phases, styles, and embarrassing moments (it was well documented towards the middle of the scrapbook). He was with you when you went through bad break-ups, and you with him. Throughout school, you two were inseparable, and when the band got big he made sure to keep you close and to never lose contact. It was hard in the beginning but you two managed.

Now finished with college, you’ve taken on the role of working with the team when they’re on tour and helping plan aesthetics for the next album. He offered the jobs after you struggled to find a job after graduation, and in the end, you enjoyed being with the guys and doing the tasks needed.

Tonight, the band was set to play their new album to an intimate crowd. It was to welcome back old fans and welcome new fans, introducing both sides to a new sound they worked hard on. You couldn’t be any more proud.

You sat on the couch as the guys walked around the room, pepping themselves up and hyping each other. You had finished doing your tasks with the crew and spent your free time watching the band prepare as the audience began to fill in the theater seats.

A nudge on your arm makes you direct your eyes from Michael styling his hair with a nervous expression to the person on your left.

“What’s up?” you asked, smiling at the curly-haired individual.

Luke shrugs, glancing around the room before his eyes land back on you. He has a small smile on his face as he leans back onto the couch, “Nothing.”

You scoff, shaking your head with a smile, “Yeah, sure, ‘nothing,’” you mimic, tilting your head to the side, “I doubt that.”

“What do you want me to say?”

You give him an incredulous look, crossing your arms as you turn to face him. You can tell he’s nervous, like the rest of the team and the band, but he won’t admit it. He’s always wanted others to view him as strong and unbothered, especially when those around him feel off.

He mirrors your position, a smirk on his lips because he knows you’re about to lecture him.

And he’s right.

“Your band has a new album out in a couple of days—an album you guys have worked hard on even when your management gave you shit, mind you—and you’re about to perform a majority of the songs in front of 500. Are you not nervous?”

He shakes his head, smugly smiling as he returns to his position leaning against the couch, watching Ashton dry the wet ends of his hair.

“Liar,” you mumble, uncrossing your arms and taking your phone out to check the time.

“Alright,” Luke sighs, giving in, “maybe I’m a little nervous, but I’m not a wreck.”

He’s still a liar. The success of their last album was astounding, so creating an album to reach that level and hopefully top it was hard enough. Playing it in front of an intimate crowd who may or may not like it was tough.

Luke isn’t cocky. He’s a humble man, but he likes to joke around in stressful situations. He’s used to concerts, so he doesn’t have any anxiety when it comes to performing. But when he is nervous for any reason, he won’t show it. He’ll act cool, completely collected with his head held high in confidence. If he needs to relieve the stress, he’ll either do it himself with a strong pep talk, or he’ll go to you.

“What are you nervous about?” You ask, wanting to make him feel better.

“Will they like it? Will it even chart? Is it too bold?” he continues listing out his insecurities about the album and the performance, finally lifting everything off his chest.

And you listen. The way his eyes stare into yours with slight confidence, covered by worry makes your heart sore. Luke’s kept everything inside and now that he’s listing his grievances, it makes you wonder just what else you can get out of him that he’s kept buried inside.

However, before you can give him your insight on this particular problem, “Luke!”

His head immediately turns to the door, the worry in his eyes fading out into sheer happiness and adoration. Something you’ve always wanted to see directed towards you.

Luke stands arms wide as he captures his girlfriend in his arms for a hug. Her arms wrap around his waist as his arms go around her shoulders, dipping his head down to kiss her on the head.

“I can’t believe you made it!” you hear him speak with excitement, expressing more words of happiness as he guides her to another part of the room.

You don’t miss the way her eyes glare in your direction, and you’re not afraid to give her a look back.

Rachel was nice when you met her. You actually liked her, despite your crush on Luke, and you were rooting for the two. But, a couple months ago during a stressful week, she turned on you. Her attitude towards you shifted, almost as if you had disrespected her and her bloodline. She would always act as if you weren’t in the room, and when plans were made with the boys, she would “accidentally” leave you out. It was embarrassing for you when you’d find out your friends went out, calling you to find out why you didn’t come. Due to the embarrassment, you would go along with it, making up some excuse as to why you were absent.

None of the boys, to your knowledge at least, have caught on to her antics, and you honestly hope they don’t. Whatever it is you did to her, you want to find out for yourself so you can fix it.

With a sigh, you stand from the couch, stretching your arms briefly before wandering to Calum, who stood in the shower room connected to the dressing room.

“Hey,” you greeted him with a warm smile.

He smiles back, finishing his drink before tossing the plastic cup in the trash. He grabs his bass, which was placed on the counter, and holds it out to you.

“You want me to see if it sounds out of tune?” you jokingly ask.

He nods, “Yeah, I feel like one of the chords might be flat.”

You chuckle as you pluck a random chord. His instruments are always tuned before it’s time to play. One of his pre-show nervous ticks was the constant doubt of his instruments being playable.

“It’s fine, Calum.”

The doubt shows on his face as he brings his guitar back to himself, putting it on and checking the chords himself, but it doesn’t last long as Ashton’s voice calls everyone to the center of the room.

Walking with Calum to where the rest of the crew was, you notice how attached Luke was to Rachel. Joint at the hip, arms wrapped around each other; it was annoying.

“Show starts in ten,” Ashton gains your attention, holding up a cup as Michael hands Calum a similar cup before doing the same to Luke. The three follow the drummer’s action as he continues, “let’s make this show fuckin’ awesome.”

The crew cheers, dying down quickly as Michael gives his thoughts, “We worked our asses off for this album, I don’t have any doubts about it. We got this, guys!”

The cheers resume as those with a drink take a celebratory sip before placing their empty cup on a surface near them.

Calum leaves your side to join Michael while Ashton heads to you.

“You excited?” he asks, putting his right arm around your shoulders with a large smile.

“Yeah!” you return the smile, “What about you? Nervous like the others?”

He shakes his head, crinkling his nose, “I’m not too nervous. I’m just happy to play again.”

You’re about to ask him what song he was the most excited to play, starting to get into the conversation but yet again you are interrupted by Rachel.

“Hey, Ash,” she greets him, Luke following close behind her as his arms make their way back around her shoulders again.

“Hi, Rachel,” Ashton nods his head at her – his eyes dance to Luke briefly before returning to Rachel’s, “didn’t think you’d make it.”

“Couldn’t miss your big show,” she smiles, looking up at her boyfriend as she pats his stomach.

Luke laughs, gently pushing her hand away from him, “I’m surprised, too—“ he grabs the guitar a crew member hands him, left arm lifting itself from Rachel’s shoulder as he slips the strap over his head, “—because her schedule did not look clear enough, but here she is.”

“Three minutes,” a different crew member rushes out, patting Luke and Ashton’s shoulders before rushing to tell the others.

“See you after,” Luke shifts his guitar away from Rachel before leaning down to kiss her on the lips – something you wish you didn’t see – and turning around to head out of the dressing room.

Ashton gives you a quick hug, “Excited for the lights,” he mumbles in your ear before turning to Rachel to give her a side hug.

It doesn’t go unnoticed how Rachel’s eyes glared at you by Ashton, but he doesn’t mention it as he heads out with the other guys towards the stage.

As a majority of the crew follow them out, you stay behind to clean up the empty cups and other trash, trying to occupy yourself as Rachel too stayed behind.

Her eyes followed you as you moved about the room, carrying the small plastic bag with you as it fills up with cups and wrappers. You could feel the glare burning into your side and back as you paid her no mind.

When it was just you two left, the bass from their opening song was heard and felt as you finished picking up the garbage.

“For how long have you liked Luke?”

You froze. Your head whipped towards Rachel, wide-eyed as you glanced around the room to make sure it was just the two of you.

“What…what are you talking about?” You can feel an extreme warmth rising up from the bottom of your back, all the way to your face, nervousness clouding your brain as she stares you down.

“Luke—,” she crosses her arms and moves to the couch, “how long have you liked Luke?”

“I don’t—I,” you stutter, your stomach dropping as you realize you’ve been caught.

His girlfriend knows you like him.

“Cut the bullshit,” she spits, “I can see it. You’ve been friends with him for years, you obviously caught feelings for him.”

You shake your head, standing up straight to give off the illusion of confidence. Turning your back to her and towards the door, “I don’t have to talk to you.”

You opted for walking out of the dressing room and go watch the band from the side of the stage, but you made a quick stop in the bathroom to splash cold water on your face.

You did what you could to avoid her during their performance. You knew she was watching you, seething at how you ended the conversation so fast.

Rachel wanted to break you down, find the reason why you like him and separate you two for as long as it takes to make him fall in love with her. She finds you a problem in their relationship because of how close you and Luke are, because of how long you’ve known each other. A threat to her and her relationship.

An hour and a half later, the show is finished and the whoops and cheers from the crowd indicate the album was very well received. That thought swept the interaction with Rachel from earlier under the rug as the boys’ adrenaline spread throughout the crew.

Ashton was first to greet you, sweaty and ready to envelop you in a hug but you’re quick to avoid it, ducking down just as his arms closed around the space where your head was. He laughs it off, heading for his next victim.

Next was Calum, who grabbed a drink from Andy and gulped it down. He had a smile on his face after, only growing wider when he saw you. “I think they liked it!”

“Bass in tune, huh?” you return, patting his back as he passes you to go to the next person.

Michael is the third, taking off his hat (which made you question why he was so worried about his hairstyle that he spent at least fifteen minutes playing with before the show). He stops in front of you, phone in hand as he takes a picture of the two of you: a tradition he started a few tours ago as a joke.

Finally, Luke makes his way towards you, ready to ramble about the show but is brisked away by Rachel. He doesn’t even glance over at you after he’s taken away towards the hall.

Entering the dressing room where the rest of the boys sat, you saw Michael talking animatedly on the phone, Calum laying across the couch with an arm over his eyes, and Ashton wiping off excess sweat with a towel. He was the first one to notice you.

“Ready for that hug?” he asks as you approach him.

“Why not.”

You hug each other, smiling as you pulled away. In the distance, over the cool-down music, you hear Luke’s laughter in the hall. Knowing he’s with Rachel makes you wonder if she’s told him about her suspicions, and that thought alone makes you clam up all over again.

Ashton immediately notices, tilting his head as he asks you what’s wrong.

“Nothing,” you quickly reply, eyes focusing on him.

He notices how jittery you seem, but he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable so he says nothing.

“Guys,” Andy comes in with his camera in hand, “we need to take a few photos.”

The three agree and follow the photographer out. You move to the snack table for a bottle of water, but before you can take a sip, someone clears their throat in the doorway.

You roll your eyes immediately because you know who it is. You don’t pay her any attention and instead take the sip of water you need.

“We need to finish that conversation you oh-so rudely ended,” Rachel moves into the room, keeping her voice down as she crosses her arms.

“We don’t need to finish anything.”

She scoffs, “I asked you a question, and you were so quick to avoid it. I think you’re proving a point.”

“What point?” you turn to look at her, “I know you don’t like me but I don’t know why, can we start with that?”

“Like I said before, I know you like Luke. He’s my boyfriend, and I don’t like how he’s close to you.”

“We grew up together,” you state, standing tall as you glare at her, “of course we’re going to be close.”

“Well I don’t like it,” she huffs.

You shake your head with a sigh, closing the lid to the bottle as you turn your back to her. You were getting angry at the fact that someone who didn’t know Luke as long as you did was hinting that you should stay away from him.

“Stop hanging out with him.”

A curt laugh escapes you before you can stop it, “Are you jealous of our friendship?”

“No,” she smirks, “but I know you’re jealous of our relationship.”

She’s right; you’re only a little jealous of their relationship, but it’s not something you want to risk your friendship with.

You open your mouth to defend yourself, but you’re caught off-guard when nothing comes out. The one opportunity to make her believe you don’t like her boyfriend and you can’t say anything.

Giving up with sinking shoulders, you glance at the door before looking back at her. Grimacing at her knowing smile, “How did you find out?”

She hums, “It was easy. I love him, so I know what it looks like to look at someone you love. You made it so obvious, I’m surprised no one else found out!”

You grit your teeth. You did your damn best to make sure no one, especially Luke or Rachel, know how you feel about him.

“I’m not intimidated by you,” she walks closer to you, arms uncrossing as her hands move to her hips, “but I won’t deny the fact that you and Luke have chemistry.”

“What will it take—” you place the bottle back on the table, “—for you to leave me alone?”

“Do the same to him.”

“What?”

“Leave him alone, unfriend him,” she shrugs, “simple as that.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you walk around her to the door, ready to end the conversation.

“Do that or I’ll tell him,” with a harsh tone she walks towards you, grabbing your arm to stop you from walking.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Okay,” another voice from the doorway makes the two of you jump, “that’s enough.”

Ashton walks into the room, grabbing Rachel’s hand and removing it from your arm.

“W—” she stutters out as she watches the tall man move to stand in front of you.

“I came back for my drumsticks—” his eyes shift to the object sticking out of his bag before dropping down to Rachel, “—but instead I find you, what, threatening a good friend of ours?”

Rachel is speechless while you’re frozen. It was embarrassing enough for one person to find out about your crush on Luke, but now Ashton might know and you want to go into hiding.

“Let it go,” you tug on Ashton’s shirt to get his attention but he doesn’t move.

“Telling someone who’s known your boyfriend longer than your relationship to just abandon him is low, Rachel. Don’t think the way you’ve been treating our friends has gone unnoticed.”

You hear more footsteps approaching the room, and now you wish the ground can swallow you up. You don’t want all this attention on you.

“What’s happening here?” Michael says as he peeks into the room, Luke behind him as Calum leans against the other side of the doorway.

“Nothing—,” Rachel tries to deflect but with four pairs of eyes on her, it becomes too much. Tears start pouring out, and you’re in disbelief.

How can she be the one crying after she was the one who was rude to you?

Luke immediately rushes in, creating a beeline right to her side to wrap her in his arms.

His eyes dart to yours, an emotion on his face of something you’ve never seen, but you know it’s not good.

“What did you do?”

You’re taken back by his tone and the way his angry eyes stare you down. It hurts because instead of staying neutral and finding out what exactly happened, he immediately chose a side: a side of someone he’s known for only for a short amount of time.

“Mate,” Ashton speaks up for you, “I think you’re asking the wrong person that.”

“No,” Luke’s voice raises, eyes moving from yours to stare into his band mate’s, “I’m asking the right person.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, your eyes welling with tears as the weight of everything happening within the last ten minutes starts to bring you down. Your eyes move away from the ones boring into yours, and with a tremble in your voice, “I didn’t do anything. She’s the one who started—.”

“Bullshit!” Luke’s roar cuts you off, “Absolute bullshit, because if she started it, then why is she the only one crying?!”

The two other guys move in to the room to mediate the situation.

“Luke, calm down,” Michael’s hands raise to the motion of ‘calm down’ as he tries to get Luke’s attention.

“There’s gotta be more to the story,” Calum moves to your side, checking on you briefly.

“Don’t,” Luke states as he watches Calum grab your shoulders to move you out of the room.

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Ashton questions. He watches Luke soothingly rub Rachel’s back, wiping her tears with his free hand.

“My girlfriend is crying and you two were the only ones in here,” Luke replies, gently grabbing Rachel’s arms so he can look directly into her eyes, “what happened, babe?”

“I asked them—,” Rachel sniffles, continuing her façade, “—if they needed any help cleaning the room earlier and they yelled at—at me and told me to go away. Then after the show when you guys went for your photos, I came here to apologize to her, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.”

She was selling it; the tears, the sniffling, the stutters, and hiccups. A great actress who knows what she wants.

“That’s not true,” you inhale, your ears feeling warm and ringing, “she has had a problem with me lately and I don’t know why!”

Luke scoffs, shaking his head, wrapping Rachel in his arms again.

“C’mon,” Michael mumbles, wanting to leave the room.

Ashton turns around, watching your face go from pleading to blank as the tears fall from your eyes. He turns his head to face Luke, “You’re unbelievable,” he grabs your shoulders and starts to move you out of the room, “let’s go.”

Michael is already out of the room, the tension too much for him and ruining the after-show vibe. Calum is waiting by the door ready to help lead you out. Ashton has you turned around, pushing you towards the door.

“Wait, Luke,” you mumble, getting out of Ashton’s hold and turning back to face Luke.

He doesn’t look at you, sighing as he rubs Rachel’s head as it’s against his chest.

“Please,” you plead, begging him to look at you and when he does, you ask, “who do you believe?”

“What?”

“Who do you believe, Luke,” you gulp with a sniffle, “me or her?”

For a moment, you think you see hesitation. His jaw tenses as he stares you down, his best friend for years and someone he turned to when times got tough. He then looks down at the girl in his arms, someone he loves crying into his chest.

He sighs again, this time soft, before looking up to meet your eyes. He does notice the tears, the pain etched on your face as his other best friends watch them. “I believe Rachel.”

“This is fucking stupid,” Ashton mutters as he gently grabs your shoulders again to lead you out of the room.

You let the tears fall freely, not meeting any of the boys’ eyes as you kept your head face down.

You’ve lost your best friend. He chose someone else over you, a lie he chose to believe.

Whatever it was that made you catch feelings for your best friend, you wish you can find it and destroy it, along with any other memory you’ve made with him. After tonight, you want him erased from your cherished memories.

---

part two!

[bbhyeoliskooks]

hellooo !! can i request a reaction for txt when they see that an idol from a different boy band has a crush on their idol!s/o bc they think that idol!reader is single,,

❝𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭, 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬!❞

TXT’s reaction to seeing an idol from another boy band have a crush on idol!you and obviously getting jealous.

Genre: Few cups of fluff ~!

Warnings: Maybe suggestive from jjuniebug... or so...

(so sorry this took so long my gosh 😭😭 also i liVE FOR THIS??? HONESTLY??? LIKE LITERALLY I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THIS AND BE THAT PERSON SKLFDJ catch txt getting a bit jelly over hereee 😏😏 n e way, yea hope you like it lots and that it makes up for the time being losttt 🧍 btw... i’m so sorry if i get one of the members from another group’s personality wrong :(( just know i can always edit it since i don’t want to make any of you mad~~)

최 연준:

° 𐐪𐑂 YALL DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIM I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE THIS VIVIDLY IN MY HEAD KSJFDS

° 𐐪𐑂 Anyway... the two of you would be backstage, chatting it up a storm and congratulating each other of how great your guy’s performance was for a VERY long time- enough for it to be suspicious

° 𐐪𐑂 No one could really suspect a thing tho... like... the two of you were being very cautious just in case about that, however it was a bit too crystal clear to see that there was some attraction between the two of you 😏

° 𐐪𐑂 And you know how as I said, quiet?

° 𐐪𐑂 Well,,, haha,,, I guess I forgot to mention one thing

° 𐐪𐑂 It’s-- as obvious to the staff... idols... people who walked there that you absolutely were in la vie en rose with each other~~

° 𐐪𐑂 Because up close, any sane person would definitely see there was something going on between you and Yeonjun with the soft yet playful flirting in both of your eyes

° 𐐪𐑂 Are we that shocked??? you’re dating in secret so obviouslyyy 🥺🥺

° 𐐪𐑂 how scandalous~~ hehe~~ (i’m kidding, it’s really not scandalous at all???)

° 𐐪𐑂 ++ Sometimes Yeonjun would get bold and make physical contact with you so... I mean he knew no one was going to spread rumors to snakes like Dispatch and... why not when he could show everyone he loved you the most?

° 𐐪𐑂 Before talking and catching up about some random stuff, you ask him if you can go to the bathroom first and ofc he says yes bc he’s best boy !

° 𐐪𐑂 ... cue the 5 minutes later...

° 𐐪𐑂 so after you’re done doing your business and all... you come face to face with??? GUESS WHO???!! TAEHYUNG FROM BTS???!!!

° 𐐪𐑂 **insert gasp**

° 𐐪𐑂 You pretty much did after you accidentally bumped into him

° 𐐪𐑂 but it was all good actually ! you were just dying inside since you just embarrassed yourself in front of the one of the greatest people in the whole entire world

° 𐐪𐑂 Taehyun was really sweet about it tho and he only smiled at you, making you grin back at him easily since the atmosphere wasn’t as awkward anymore

° 𐐪𐑂 “Ah, you’re Y/N from (), right? I love how you performed today! I’ve been listening to your songs for a while but I have to say that I adore your voice much more,” he complimented with a smug wink

° 𐐪𐑂 You just gaped at him, feeling your ears burn up immediately

° 𐐪𐑂 “M-my voice?! Taehyung, that’s so sweet of you to say! Thank you so much!”

° 𐐪𐑂 From then on, the two of you decided to talk more about yourselves and got to learn more

° 𐐪𐑂 All that time and you didn’t realize you could enjoy talking with someone so much and how you weren’t nervous in front of him at all???

° 𐐪𐑂 Bc by now, you would be a stammering mess before him because he really was one of the coolest guys on earth

° 𐐪𐑂 And yea that’s Taehyung for you 🥺 he’s such a sweet boy like mom i love him

° 𐐪𐑂 It had just reached almost 10 minutes of both of you talking, and it was time for the boy to go on stage and perform

° 𐐪𐑂 You were a bit sad since you probably couldn’t get to know him more as a good friend considering both of your schedules...

° 𐐪𐑂 but luckily ! Taehyung was enjoying this too and he pulled out his phone, ready to ask you something he’d been meaning to for a while

° 𐐪𐑂 “Do you think I could treat you sometime? Actually, I’d love to get to know you if you’d like and it’s okay for you to say no,” now the boy in front of you went from confident to shy in a second, his hand flying to the back of his neck to nervously scratch it

° 𐐪𐑂 Eyes widening with excitement, you were going to jump at the opportunity to say yes until-

° 𐐪𐑂 Pulling you close and wrapping his arms around your waist from behind emerged Yeonjun with a not so hidden sour expression as he held you tenderly in his embrace, not daring to ever let you go

° 𐐪𐑂 “Taehyung Sunbaenim! The staff told me to come get you for your performance! You better hurry up and go there, so you won’t be late.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Well... at least Yeonjun’s tone was polite but both you and Taehyung could obviously tell it meant something else- more like back off, which you weren’t surprised

° 𐐪𐑂 Getting the hint Taehyung took a few steps back, giggling at the evident passive aggressiveness from the boy

° 𐐪𐑂 “Thanks, Yeonjun! And I’ll be sure to be there, thanks so much for the heads up.”

° 𐐪𐑂 You couldn’t help but groan quietly at the tense atmosphere now and how the boys waved goodbyes at each other- although you were sure your boyfriend was more than happy enough that the “predator” went off by himself

° 𐐪𐑂 Once Taehyung was gone, you were surprised to hear how silent Yeonjun was behind you, biting his lips so as to not mess up and say anything disrespectful

° 𐐪𐑂 Nonetheless, you had to say that you were worried about the sudden change in his demeanor

° 𐐪𐑂 “Jjunie, is there anything wrong?”

° 𐐪𐑂 “I’m so sorry,” he muttered, burying his head into your neck, “I shouldn’t have acted like that... I know Taehyung Sunbaenim didn’t mean any harm or you either... I promise I won’t do it next time.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Knowing he truly felt sorry, you just turned around to look at him more clearly, lifting up his chin so that he’d cheer up even from the tiniest bit of affection

° 𐐪𐑂 And. Oh. My. Gosh. His. Adorable. Puppy. Eyes. That. Shine. So. Brightly. You. Fall. In. Love. Every. Time.

° 𐐪𐑂 “It’s okay Jjun,” you cooed, cupping his cheeks, “But don’t be so jealous next time, you know that you’re the only one I see.”

° 𐐪𐑂 True to your words Yeonjun seemed to cheer up at this and smiled brightly, the one that always made your heart melt whenever you see his face flowing with ardent joy

° 𐐪𐑂 But yea, remember how we all know he has such a shocking duality?

° 𐐪𐑂 ... we were absolutely not ready for Yeonjun to quickly slam his hand against the white boundaries of the room, almost pinning you to the wall if you could call it that, and whispering in your ear so teasingly it made you crazy:

° 𐐪𐑂 “Now, how about you make it up to me for leaving me back there for 10 minutes? I think you deserve a good punishment from me, baby.”

° 𐐪𐑂 gosh.... i just... okay moving on with the holy water???

최 수빈:

° 𐐪𐑂 Fridays where you had to MC was certainly the best because you got to spend it with a very special someone~

° 𐐪𐑂 A very special someone who would do their very best to make you laugh and succeed at it every time he forgot to say his line

° 𐐪𐑂 A very special someone who encouraged you to be confident even in front of your favorite idols whom you were dying to talk to

° 𐐪𐑂 A very special someone who comforted you when you thought you weren’t good enough in front of the TV screen... and someone who cheered you up by giving helpful advice with soft kisses on the nose as well~

° 𐐪𐑂 Oh wait, who was that very special someone?? You guessed it! Only the sweetest boy ever, Soobinnie from TXT !

° 𐐪𐑂 You couldn’t be more than happy to say yes to interviewing idols with him even if the questions were already scripted with a small piece of paper

° 𐐪𐑂 Every moment with him in front of the cameras was heaven to you, to hear his perfect voice echo inside the walls in the room

° 𐐪𐑂  Perhaps the idols behind you could tell you were whipped for each other at this point... you honestly wouldn’t be surprised but you didn’t want to release the fact that you were dating since it wouldn’t do good for both of your images

° 𐐪𐑂 This time, the idols behind you were the one and only Stray Kids !

° 𐐪𐑂 An excellent group with excellent music~ (maybe I should stan, hehe)

° 𐐪𐑂 The questions only took a few minutes since they were just talking about their song, but you had to say you enjoyed every single second of it

° 𐐪𐑂 And with the bunny grin on Soobin’s face, it looked like he was pleasant himself too

° 𐐪𐑂 Although, every good thing has to come to an end~!

° 𐐪𐑂 The cameras just turned off after getting the perfect cut and you were waving off to a few of the members when one of them came up to you with a huge smile on his face

° 𐐪𐑂 You noticed he had a lot of freckles on his face which definitely made him even more prettier, and you welcomed him with the same expression back

° 𐐪𐑂 “Hi, Y/N! I hope I’m not bothering you, but I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your songs. Oh sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Felix, if you didn’t know,” he looked off to the side shyly but didn’t expect to see you kindly answer him back

° 𐐪𐑂 Honestly, he looked really sweet ! But you were wondering why he made some time to talk to you all of a sudden before catching up with the rest of his members on a time crunch

° 𐐪𐑂 “No, it’s okay! Actually, I’m happy you came up to talk a little since I wanted to say that I love your songs as well. Um, did you need me for anything?”

° 𐐪𐑂 The boy just shook his head, moving closer to you so you could at least hear him better,

° 𐐪𐑂 “Well, I sort of do... if it’s not too much to ask, do you think I could maybe take you out some time? And it’s fine if you say no! But I’d really like to get to know you.”

° 𐐪𐑂 The heat of your ears was a bit too much now, and you could feel yourself becoming a wee bit too warm in your outfit

° 𐐪𐑂 ...you couldn’t lie to him, he seemed like a nice boy and all that you’d definitely love to have as a friend but how were you going to tell him you were already taken if both your boyfriend and you agreed to keep the relationship a secret in the first place?

° 𐐪𐑂 From beside you, you could hear Soobin sigh longingly, waiting for you to come talk to him after a while of not seeing you

° 𐐪𐑂 He was a few feet away from you, staring down at the situation as if that was going to do any better and scare the other boy away

° 𐐪𐑂 What do you expect??? The bby boy misses you sm :((

° 𐐪𐑂 And he gets very polite so he won’t be able to do anything until it gets too far for him 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 Seems like the type to accidentally get the wrong order thanks to the mcdonalds staff but accepts it anyway bc he’s too scared nice to say anything (just like me for example)

° 𐐪𐑂 As I was saying, the two of you just glanced over at Soobin who had a somewhat grumpy look on his face, leaning on his hand while sitting down

° 𐐪𐑂 The sight was definitely something to see... it only peeked obvious jealousy but it looks like the dude from Stray Kidz wasn’t able to see it just yet 😭

° 𐐪𐑂 But to you, who absolutely knew Soobin inside and out not mentioning the fact you dated him, could tell that boy was CLEARLY in envious pain watching this

° 𐐪𐑂 “Yeah, of course! I think we’ll be really great friends too! Maybe once our schedules are free, then we can meet up somewhere.”

° 𐐪𐑂  Subtly nodding your head to where the jealous bby was sitting, you hoped it would be enough for him to figure out in the meantime

° 𐐪𐑂 Felix, seeming to understand what was happening between the two of you, just chuckled handing you the tiny paper of his number in hands

° 𐐪𐑂 “Okay then! I hope we can be good friends in the near future. Just let me know whenever you want to hang out, and we’re good to go!”

° 𐐪𐑂 And with that, the other boy left, scrambling to catch up to his group which was already far away

° 𐐪𐑂 It was silent for a few minutes until Soobin heaved out another sigh, but it was instead one of relief once he saw that every staff and performer was out of the room for a little while

° 𐐪𐑂 “He obviously likes you,” he muttered, sticking out his bottom lip to create the most precious pout you had ever seen, “it’s not fair at all... why does everyone have to like my significant other?”

° 𐐪𐑂 You just smiled knowingly at his tone and pulled him up from the floor-- did he always feel like this whenever someone asked you for your number?

° 𐐪𐑂 Taking his fluffy cheeks in your hands, your thumb rubbed against his cheekbone before booping his nose with a teasing touch

° 𐐪𐑂 “Soobin, I love you, silly. There’s no one who can ever compare to you, okay? It’s alright to get jealous sometimes, but

° 𐐪𐑂 He puffed out an amused chuckle through his nose, satisfied at the answer you gave him, smirking that omg smirk that really had your heart beating too swiftly like the first time you met him

° 𐐪𐑂 “I’m really lucky to have you... I swear every single person on this Earth is in love with you? But now that you’re encouraging me like this, I feel just fine. But... just in case, could you promise to stay by my side forever, please?”

° 𐐪𐑂 He held out his pinky finger, gazing at you expectantly as if to wait for your answer, but wasn’t it evident enough?

° 𐐪𐑂 It really was impossible to say no to those puppy dog eyes 😌

최 범규:

° 𐐪𐑂 It wasn’t hard to miss that Jongho from Ateez liked you more than everyone else usually did

° 𐐪𐑂 Beomgyu could certainly tell

° 𐐪𐑂 Yes he was staring at the other boy’s reaction for some time (although it was mostly you) while your group was performing and he could see that same boy squirming with excitement whenever it was your turn to lead the stage

° 𐐪𐑂 Yes he was deathstaring him down when they shook hands, but at least he was polite enough to smile back when all the cameras were flashing in their faces

° 𐐪𐑂 And man... did he hate it as much as he tried not to show that jealousy itself

° 𐐪𐑂 Of course he thought nothing wrong of Jongho !

° 𐐪𐑂 Truth be told, he actually wanted to become friends with them since he found them to be such a talented and strong person who could easily break apples with just a flick of his wrist

° 𐐪𐑂 it intimidated him sure sskdsd like what if he was the apple in jongho’s hands instead...

° 𐐪𐑂 OKAY IM GETTING OFF TOPIC IT MUST BE BC ITS LITERALLY 2AM ON A MONDAY NIGHT

° 𐐪𐑂 But when it came to you.... Beomgyu really had no chill in wanting needing to protect you always like omg pls 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 The glares he sent poor Jongho who didn’t know the two of you were in a relationship was laughable man

° 𐐪𐑂 Maybe it was bc of his hairstyle he didn’t know 🧍 but he would for sure figure that out soon enough when he was brave enough to finally come talk to you after your performance~

° 𐐪𐑂 This choreo was exhausting but you were starting to get the use of it after tons of practice and performing !

° 𐐪𐑂 You were happy tonight with how it came out, so you were going to ask for your breathtaking boyfie how it looked in order to appease that weird craving for his opinion

° 𐐪𐑂 When you came to the backstage where everyone was congratulating you, you weren’t the very least bit surprised to see Beomgyu waiting for you

° 𐐪𐑂 but instead of the usual cheerful mood-boosting smile he had on his face, was the sour frown that had you thinking curiously in your head what the matter was

° 𐐪𐑂 Before you could even ask him what was wrong, someone cut in and you weren’t able to ask him just yet

° 𐐪𐑂 “Wait, Y/N, before you go! Can I just say that you did really well on the dance tonight? I mean you always do, don’t get me wrong, but I think you did extra amazing for this one.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Excitedly you smiled, whooshing behind you to see that it was one of your favorite idols from one of the greatest bands in the universe

° 𐐪𐑂 “Oh gosh, really? Thank you so much! I wasn’t planning on

° 𐐪𐑂 Under his breath Beomgyu muttered to himself as he was watching this, “oh look, here comes the boy trying to steal my bby..”

° 𐐪𐑂 gosh why is that hot to me i need some help-

° 𐐪𐑂 “Yeah, of course it was! I don’t know about you but you have to know that I practice that dance if I were you since I love it so much!”

° 𐐪𐑂 what.

° 𐐪𐑂 You were so taken aback that you just chuckled nervously before chatting a bit more

° 𐐪𐑂 A few more minutes passed by, and Beomgyu couldn’t stand seeing you laugh at all of Jongho’s terrible jokes

° 𐐪𐑂 To him it was as if you were forcing yourself to laugh at all his jokes, but that really wasn’t the case ksfjsk Jongho was just a funny dude

° 𐐪𐑂 But all that time you were worrying about your boyfie and why he was so sad :(((

° 𐐪𐑂 You hated seeing him in the corner by himself, looking at most likely nothing on his phone and you wanted to talk to him since there could be something wrong

° 𐐪𐑂 It seemed as if the clock saved you bc wow !! Thank gosh the time for Ateez to perform since you needed to help gyugyubear at onceee

° 𐐪𐑂 “Maybe we could switch numbers? Would it be okay with you?” He shyly suggested, something much more different compared to the confident aura he had earlier

° 𐐪𐑂 you would’ve loved to take time for that but noooo :(( beomgyu was getting his stuff and leaving??? IN FRONT OF YOU???

° 𐐪𐑂 “Umm, yeah!” You swiftly agreed, glancing back at Beomgyu who was about to leave from your sight, “but I have to go! I’m so sorry, maybe next time?”

° 𐐪𐑂 poor dude was feeling very confused when you ran away just like that??? but he got over it by shrugging and going onstage since he had better things to worry about skdfjs

° 𐐪𐑂 Hurriedly you went off to Beomgyu, tugging onto his arm so that he’d pay attention to you

° 𐐪𐑂 It took a few tries thanks to the pettiness he was trying to pass off, but eventually you did it... somehow

° 𐐪𐑂 “Is there anything wrong?”

° 𐐪𐑂 “No. There’s nothing.”

° 𐐪𐑂 “Nothing? Are you sure?”

° 𐐪𐑂 “Positive.”

° 𐐪𐑂 “Beomgyu, just tell me what’s wrong, dude 🧍.”

° 𐐪𐑂 “That’s it, you’re calling me dude and I don’t like it all 🥺.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Wait, was that just it 😭😭?? You wanted to die right then and there after worrying so much for nothing and being so tense during your conversation with Jongho

° 𐐪𐑂 “Wait, Gyu, are you being serious? So nothing was the matter?”

° 𐐪𐑂 Well now he couldn’t lie to you :(( at first he was going to act like he was fine but with the way you were looking at him :(( he simply couldn’t !!

° 𐐪𐑂 “Fineee. I’m jealous, and I don’t like it because he’s so close to you. I can’t help it sometimes since I tend to overthink too much but I know you love me since we’re together but I just-”

° 𐐪𐑂 CHUUU !! CHUU !!

° 𐐪𐑂 Seeing him panic and ramble on and on, you cupped his cheeks and pressed your lips against his so he wouldn’t have to be that anxious anymore

° 𐐪𐑂 As much as you loved hearing his voice, you didn’t like it when he got sad about your relationship... so hopefully a little kiss would do the trick?

° 𐐪𐑂 AND YESSS IT WORKED YOU GOT THE BOY EVEN MORE WHIPPED FOR YOU PLSSS 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 After a few seconds you pulled away, much to his disappointment but he was more than happy enough you did that thooo 😏😏

° 𐐪𐑂 “Ahh my bby!! I don’t love him!! I love you!! And so much at that!! I’m glad you trust me with your feelings and told me this, but you always have to remember that my heart belongs to you, okay? It’ll always be and I know you know that too,” you sighed while kissing him yet another time

° 𐐪𐑂 It was such a sweet moment but... how were you getting through this without him teasing you until now??? well surprise, surpriseeee

° 𐐪𐑂 “If this is how you’re going to act every time I get jealous, then I better become jealous even more at this point~~”

° 𐐪𐑂 “Oh be quiet, Gyu, now the mood is ruined 🗿🗿.”

강 태형:

° 𐐪𐑂 “Wait, Y/N... is that you?”

° 𐐪𐑂 From all of the clamorous chaos in the room, you were stunned to hear the familiar but relatively a much deeper voice compared to before in the same place as you

° 𐐪𐑂 It had been a while hearing it and you were tearing up just knowing who it was

° 𐐪𐑂 It couldn’t possibly be him... could it? A few years had passed since the last time you saw him so hearing him in the same workplace as you- well technically the - was almost too hard to believe

° 𐐪𐑂 But no, he was right in front of you, smiling like an angel as always- that same smile that was so contagious it made everyone else in the room light up

° 𐐪𐑂 “Jisung (from NCT)? You’re kidding me right now... But it’s been so long since I’ve seen you! Don’t tell me that I completely am missing the fact that you’re actually here? In this moment? Right now?”

° 𐐪𐑂 He only laughed at you, inching so much closer each second that you felt as if you were witnessing a delusion or something of the sort

° 𐐪𐑂 “No, it’s really me, Y/N! I’ve missed you... do you think we could catch up for a while? Just for a few minutes if that’s okay with you,” he offered, reaching his hand out to you

° 𐐪𐑂 You could only say yes after glancing up to see Taehyun’s reaction, but he just smiled- clearly encouraging you to go so that you could meet up with an old friend during your break time

° 𐐪𐑂 You hastily said goodbye, pondering if Taehyun was really going to be fine with it since you thought boyfriends would become suspicious of what other boys’ intentions were

° 𐐪𐑂 But thankfully, Taehyun being the best understanding boyfriend he was, plainly stated that it was more than great for you to go since you could talk to someone you trust

° 𐐪𐑂 but ahhh you weren’t sure- perhaps you really liked it whenever someone showed their love through jealousy (ofc not too over the top since that’s just toxic), and he didn’t seem to have any interest in becoming sad at all

° 𐐪𐑂 ++ Like you’ve noted before, he wasn’t one to get jealous since he trusts you very much ofc 🧍 but maybe.. just maybe...

° 𐐪𐑂 Your sliver of getting some attention and feeling love was shut down when Jisung brought you along to where he wanted to talk to you alone

° 𐐪𐑂 It was the clean white hallways where really nobody was ! The only people there were the two of you so you easily understood why he chose such a random spot like this

° 𐐪𐑂 And yea.. that’s where all of the getting to know what happened after training started and the two of you, curious to hear a few juicy details about whatever, were completely entranced in alllll of the stories you each had to tell

° 𐐪𐑂 MAYBE FOR LIKE 25 MINUTES OR SO????

° 𐐪𐑂 Taehyun sat in the other room scrolling through his phone mindlessly, but all the meanwhile wondering when you were going to come back

° 𐐪𐑂 He knew it was going to take longer than what he was at the very least patient for, but this long???

° 𐐪𐑂 The poor bby just moped around as he looked through moas’ comments, too bothered about you to answer any of them with a happy feeling

° 𐐪𐑂 And with you? You barely noticed the time, and so did Jisung as well

° 𐐪𐑂 You were both talking about random topics as well so when the line below appeared out of nowhere, there was no lie saying you were paralyzed with shock

° 𐐪𐑂 “You know back then... I’ve always wanted something more, but since we became idols it never happened. These days have always been work, work, and more work but I think that if we make it work, then we’ll be able to love each other well! And you do have the same feelings for me too, right? You told me just before I became a trainee so I never really got time to tell you that I felt the same way.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Oh, the way your jaw dropped when listening to him was just... something that should be hung in a museum

° 𐐪𐑂 W-was that a confession or....? 🧍

° 𐐪𐑂 “Y/N? Is everything okay? You seem to be... spacing out there.”

° 𐐪𐑂 But you weren’t 😭 You were dying inside thinking of how sudden it was and what you should say back???

° 𐐪𐑂 bc you already have a bf and he’d give the whole entire world just to make you happy 🗿🗿

° 𐐪𐑂 The familiar clacks of someone made you jolt, and from that scent you absolutely knew who it was right then and there

° 𐐪𐑂 “Taehyun, what are you doing here?” You whispered, getting up too quickly that could’ve showed how thankful you were for him to come and save you at the last second

° 𐐪𐑂 “Okay, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation! But I had to come get you or else your one hour break would run out and the staff would get mad at you for not coming earlier.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Jisung shot a confused glance at you when your boyfriend kept whispering in your ear, so you just held up a hand to let him know

° 𐐪𐑂 “Ah, sorry, but I think I have to go now! But thanks for the contact, we’ll need to exchange phone numbers next time because I really enjoyed talking to you! You’re such an amazing friend; I’m sure that we’ll become even closer in the end.”

° 𐐪𐑂 If that wasn’t enough of a friendzoning response, then idk what is 😔

° 𐐪𐑂 Jisung shot you a soft smile, albeit you could see a bit of sadness in it... you felt bad but you didn’t have the heart to lead him on like that

° 𐐪𐑂 “It’s okay! Go ahead, it’s more than fine with me. And yeah, I guess we’ll talk more next time!”

° 𐐪𐑂 Without any word, you solemnly waved a goodbye before wondering if Taehyun’s words about the one hour break was really true when not that much time passed anyway

° 𐐪𐑂 “Is it already time for me to prepare? Thanks for letting me know, otherwise I would’ve been dead meat by now!”

° 𐐪𐑂 He didn’t respond, and you raised an eyebrow at his reaction after giggling yourself at your stupid joke

° 𐐪𐑂 “Love? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

° 𐐪𐑂 It was certainly awkward right now, and you hated it more than anything but you couldn’t place your finger on what made him to act like this

° 𐐪𐑂 “Taehyun?” You tried yet again, running faster to catch up on his too quick pace that only dripped of hurriedness

° 𐐪𐑂 And just like that the boy stopped after you called him for the third time, ceasing you in your tracks just to look back at you with a grimace on his lips

° 𐐪𐑂 “You’ve gotten me all twisted, love, that it’s quite pathetic. And yes, I am totally jealous even though I know I shouldn’t be.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Oh... so that’s what it was 😏😏

° 𐐪𐑂 He never admitted he was jealous those other times either so this was just-- wowww 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 “My love, it’s you that I’m with,” you huffed, getting close enough to intertwine his fingers with yours, “and it’s you that I’m going to be with forever, whether you like it or not. You have no reason to be jealous since I completely adore you! I want to be with you, can’t you already see how much I’m whipped for you?”

° 𐐪𐑂 He didn’t answer for a few seconds like you expected, so you pretended to be sad and turn away

° 𐐪𐑂 But when you did, he immediately grabbed your arm-- something you weren’t surprised of since he was the softest boy at heart and couldn’t be too mad at you for too long

° 𐐪𐑂 “Love, don’t go! I’m fine, I already know that and I love you too... it’s just that-”

° 𐐪𐑂 “So you were jealous...”

° 𐐪𐑂 “N-no, I wasn’t jealous- you heard nothing!”

° 𐐪𐑂 You caught him off guard by kissing him on the cheek and booping him on the nose until you could see the softness of his cheeks turn crimson red

° 𐐪𐑂 “Awwe, you cutie. Now let me make it up to you by giving you my utmost attention until break is over!”

휴닝가이:

° 𐐪𐑂 Ahh my bby Hyuka, i’m just so in love with him pls 🥺

° 𐐪𐑂 Well... speaking of which, who wouldn’t be in love with a sweet boy like him???

° 𐐪𐑂 Obviously not you, that’s for sureee 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 N E WAY--

° 𐐪𐑂 You just came back from performing one of your most popular songs and the adrenaline rushing through your body was enough to happily keep you on your toes as you

° 𐐪𐑂 You were really happy tonight and you were hoping to share that same joyfulness with the best boyfie ever, Hyuka who supported you in whatever you chose to do !

° 𐐪𐑂 Why though?

° 𐐪𐑂 Because this just had to be one of your best performances yet !!

° 𐐪𐑂 Like the way how you looked gorg on stage with your charismatic presence 🥺??? You knew it yourself that you looked amazing dancing and singing along with everybody... and the fact that they were fully enjoying it too was the true icing on the cake

° 𐐪𐑂 Kai must’ve seen it, huh? You were itching to see his proud smile and reaction of you since it would definitely make the passionate swelling in your chest boost 100%~~

° 𐐪𐑂 But right now, he wasn’t anywhere to be found :((

° 𐐪𐑂 Usually he’d be waiting at your dressing room whenever the two of you went to award shows together

° 𐐪𐑂 Or he could be at his dressing room and you asked the txt boys but... nooo he wasn’t there eitherrr 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 So... you decided to look for him ! He could’ve gotten lost, who knows ++ there could be some good food somewhere...

° 𐐪𐑂 Searching for Kai, surprise caught your features when someone with a very familiar face passed by

° 𐐪𐑂 Unfortunately it wasn’t your boyfriend whom you were looking for :((( but it was Jay from Enhypen and he seemed like a cool dude !

° 𐐪𐑂 I mean... you needed some idol friends anyway so why not talk to him ?

° 𐐪𐑂 Well, it all started with a polite hi and hello from senior to junior...

° 𐐪𐑂 The two of you ended up talking a little while that you ended up forgetting that your original task was to find Kai and ask him his opinion about your performance

° 𐐪𐑂 Somehow Jay made the conversation flow really easily and the two of you wouldn’t be able to stop talking to each other about literally everything

° 𐐪𐑂 It was like he was an old friend of yours and you were finally catching up... he was just that great of a dude yuh

° 𐐪𐑂 Maybe 5 minutes passed by...

° 𐐪𐑂 or 30, who knows...

° 𐐪𐑂 While Jay was talking, you glanced at the clock on the wall before him and almost gasped from how distracted you were

° 𐐪𐑂 LIKE HOW DID 30 MINUTES PASS BY THAT QUICKLY????

° 𐐪𐑂 and you promised you would get ready by then but now you spent all of your time talking to Jay when you could’ve been catching up with Kai 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 Although that itself wasn’t a bad thing at all, actually ~~

° 𐐪𐑂 You were more than happy to make a new friend in Jay ! And maybe the two of you could at this point be very good ones if you talked a lot in the future

° 𐐪𐑂 ++ You were happy talking to him, so if he was okay with it, then you definitely were !

° 𐐪𐑂 True to your words, you ended up talking to him a little bit more until he told you he needed some time to prepare for his stage

° 𐐪𐑂 A few goodbyes here and there passed between the two of you and he handed you his number to talk whenever you were bored to which you easily agreed

° 𐐪𐑂 And as promised, he was about to go as his shoes made some clickity-clacks against the spotless floor until-

° 𐐪𐑂 “Wait, do you hear that?”

° 𐐪𐑂 You just looked at him and knitted your eyebrows, confused as to what he was saying, “hear what?”

° 𐐪𐑂 and then BOOM! You could definitely hear it now???

° 𐐪𐑂 IT WAS KAI RUNNING OVER TO YOU, PANTING DRAMATICALLY AS HE SNEAKILY PLACED HIS HANDS ON YOUR SHOULDERS 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 You jumped at his touch a little, shocked to see him so suddenly when he was gone for at least 35 minutes

° 𐐪𐑂 “What is it, Kai? Is there something wrong?

° 𐐪𐑂 “No, NO! Nothing is wrong- I just need you to come look at this real quick!”

° 𐐪𐑂 Hurriedly Kai tugged you on the hand and you laughed loudly, following his lead to take you somewhere

° 𐐪𐑂 Jay laughed as well, waving towards your direction as the other boy dragged you along to another place

° 𐐪𐑂 “Alright, bye then, Jay! I’ll text you!”

° 𐐪𐑂 With the grin he was giving back, you were sure he would respond too

° 𐐪𐑂 However, that wasn’t really an aversion to what was going on rn 😭

° 𐐪𐑂 As soon as you were out of sight from everyone, Kai seemed to be a quiet mess, staring down at you like you were doing something weird

° 𐐪𐑂 The two of you were all alone now, but it was close enough to the staff’s room where they did your makeup

° 𐐪𐑂 Although it was pretty weird he was acting this way, considering he was a chatterbox whenever the two of you were together no matter what

° 𐐪𐑂 “What is it, Hyuka? What did you need to show me?”

° 𐐪𐑂 Because of the silence, you couldn’t help but wonder ! What he was thinking in that head of his- you couldn’t possibly be sure at all with the quietness all around you

° 𐐪𐑂 “I didn’t have to show you anything,” he finally responded with a blank expression, “I just had to get you away from a love rival who was obviously fighting for your love.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Well wow that was some bluntness-

° 𐐪𐑂 But a love rival??? You could completely understand why he was acting like this now- and it was all because he was jealous 🗿

° 𐐪𐑂 “Kaiiii,” you whined, pursing your lips tight together and bringing his hands into yours, “I’ve missed you too and I know we haven’t been talking much thanks to schedules but you have to know that I love you the most out of everyone here!”

° 𐐪𐑂 ._. <-- aka the same face he had while listening to you, so you went on

° 𐐪𐑂 You truly found this situation to be entertaining but you weren’t going to say it out loud ! Hopefully he would really see that you were being sincere though because you really did love him the most in the world :(((

° 𐐪𐑂 “Jay may be a great person and all, but you know that it’ll always be you that I choose. And why is that? It’s because you’re the one who stole my heart, not him, you fool.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Now the smile on his face was enough to convince him you were happy enough with the truth you gave

° 𐐪𐑂 Him believing you was one of the best feelings you’ve ever had and you were going to ask if he wanted some ice cream but he beat you to it, taking you by the hand and keeping you close by his side,

° 𐐪𐑂 “I absolutely do have the best bf/gf in the world... I just have to treat them with some ice cream after jumping into some weird conclusions! Also, what’s Jay’s phone number? I might talk to him instead 😏.”

° 𐐪𐑂 ...what were you expecting...

Posted: 4/26/21- 3:00am

(it’s literally monday today and i have school 😭 i didn’t expect to stay up this late but oh well iggg 🗿🗿)

Tags:

[staticscreenwriting]

LOVE LIKE THE MOVIES // BUCKY BARNES // 4

Four - Casablanca

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

“ You dressed up! “

God damnit. He should’ve known. He really should’ve. Sam stands by his side, shit-eating grin splitting his face in two. He should’ve just worn a plain sweater and no one would’ve commented on it.

But then would she look at him with that joyful sparkle in her eyes and that gorgeous smile? Maybe the little dressing up that he did do, and all the teasing comments from Sam, are worth it if means she’ll look at him like that.

“I didn’t dress up.” Doesn’t mean he has to admit it. No now, not ever.

“ Uh, your jeans are cuffed. You’ve never done that!” (Y/N) points out to which Sam chimes in with a loud “that’s what I said!” words dripping with amusement.

“ It’s just my jeans, it’s not a big deal.”

“ And you quiffed your hair!”

Bucky glances towards Sam who stands beside him with the biggest smile any person has ever displayed in all the times humans have walked this earth. His joy at Bucky’s obvious discomfort knowing no boundaries and, if it weren’t at his own expense, Bucky would even find Sam’s amusement quite contagious.

“ You totally did! He totally did! I didn’t even notice. Hi,” he says and shakes (Y/N)’s hand “ I’m Sam.”

“ So nice to meet you, Sam. And you dressed up too! As a sexy Ghostbuster!”

Bucky can basically feel Sam’s ego inflate at those words and he knows, for a fact, he’ll never hear the end of it.

“ That’s right! I am a sexy Ghostbuster. Not a regular one. That’s exactly what I was going for, thank you. Man, I love her already.” Sam says, directed at both, (Y/N) but mostly at Bucky.

“ You look lovely too, by the way,” Sam points out and for the first time since they arrived, Bucky gives himself a moment to take her in entirely. Not just the little things, the twinkle in her eyes, the warm radiance of her smile. Her. All of her.

The blue and white checkered pinafore dress she’s wearing reaches down to her knees, her legs are covered by white knee-high socks and at her feet, a pair of ruby red heels sparkle as the light reflects against them.

She looks beautiful but what really makes Bucky’s heart skip just a tiny fraction of a beat is the fact that he knows who she’s supposed to be and, whether she did it purposefully or not doesn’t matter, he feels included for the first time in so long.

“ You’re Dorothy.” his lips produce words that his brain didn’t sign off on. They just slip out. They hold so much weight that even if he’d acted fast enough, he doesn’t think he would’ve been able to hold them back. They’re so seemingly insignificant but they hold a meaning that Bucky isn’t sure anyone will ever fully comprehend. Steve would’ve but Steve is — not here.

He hopes (Y/N) understands even a small fraction of what it means to him. And when she smiles, he thinks she might.

“ I am. Do you like it?”

“ You look beautiful. “ And she does. She really does.

Sam is grinning away like he’s just heard the best news and Bucky isn’t sure if he prefers this to his outright laughter at his discomfort or not. This smirk seems like some inside joke Bucky doesn’t get. Like Sam knows something he doesn’t.

“ Can I get you guys something to drink? Beers? “

“ That would be great “ Sam replies.

“ Grumpy? “

“ Sure.”

He can’t get drunk, that’s one of the little things the Serum changed about him. It’s not like he’s here to get drunk anyway but to feel the enthusiastic buzz that alcohol can wash through your system, would be nice. He hardly remembers what that felt like.

He’s gonna drink some beer either way though. It gives him the feeling of fitting in, of belonging with the crowd. Even if he knows that’s one big lie. Sometimes you have to lie to yourself to keep your heart from breaking.

Kim isn’t a friend. Not really. She’s a friend of a friend who somehow always tags along whenever (Y/N)’s friend group gets together. She’s never actually invited but she’s always there anyway. Tonight is no exception.

She’s dressed in some kind of last-minute DIY deer costume, one of those that have been popular a few years back on Youtube, and the way she smirks at (Y/N) as she enters the kitchen already makes the metaphorical alarm bells go off in (Y/N)’s head.

“ So, I didn’t know you know celebrities. “

“ What are you talking about, Kim? “

“ Oh, you know! “ Kim announces and slides up next to (Y/N), casually leaning against the kitchen counter. “ Do you think he can do some cool tricks with his metal arm? “

“ Who are you talking about? “

Obviously (Y/N) is well aware of who Kim is talking about. There’s only so many people with metal arms and only one of them finds himself at this very party. Still, she doesn’t give Kim the satisfaction of reacting to her ridiculous comment. Maybe, (Y/N) naively hopes, repeating her question will make Kim realize just how rude and offensive her words really are.

“The winter soldier! Who else. That’s him, isn’t it? “

“ No.”

“ You sure? I’m pretty certain that’s him.”

“ His name is Bucky!” (Y/N) clarifies, fixing Kim with a stare that conveys just how serious this is to her. “ And he is not some kind of circus freak or entertainer or something. He is my friend. “

Kim shrugs her shoulders so casually that it sends shivers of red hot rage through (Y/N)’s body. The audacity of this woman. “ Okay sure but he is the Winter Soldier, right? I don’t know why you’re acting so sensitive right now. Chill, girl.”

“ Fuck you, Kim. You are so disrespectful towards my friend. He’s so sweet and genuine and wonderful and he deserves to be seen for all that he is. He is not here for you to stare at like a caged animal and he sure as hell ain’t here to be reminded of his painful past. If you can’t treat him like a normal person, please leave. “

There’s a look on Kim’s face that (Y/N) hasn’t seen on her before. One of utter disbelief. One that lets her know that this was the last thing Kim was expecting. And for a little moment, a huge wave of triumphant enthusiasm crashes over her.

“ Whatever.” is all Kim replies once the shock has settled. With a pout on her lips, she shuffles out of the kitchen and back into the crowd. (Y/N) can’t tell for sure if she’s leaving but there’s no doubt in her mind that at least she won’t be harassing Bucky anytime soon.

A bitter taste settles on (Y/N) tongue, as she thinks about Kim’s words again. About the sick and twisted thoughts that reduce Bucky to little more than a human animatronic. It’s disgusting and so so sad and she just hopes Bucky hasn’t heard her say those things.

As she steps out of the kitchen and rounds the corner though, her hopes are squashed. There’s the usual pain on his face, the one that’s perpetually etched into his features as Bucky leans against the wall. But mixed in between, there’s something else. A confusing mess of emotions she can’t quite place. She knows though. He’s heard every last word.

“ Robin came over, started talking to Sam about some band I don’t know. Thought I’d come see if you need some help. “

“ Bucky, I — “

“ It’s fine.” He interrupts her. (Y/N) doesn’t think it’s really fine. Sometimes people just get so used to saying they feel fine, they actually start believing it. Only fine is not something you want to feel forever, is it? Fine shouldn’t be a permanent state. Fine should be temporary. A path to good. To great. To happy.

“ You sure? “

“ Yeah. I uh — I appreciate what you said.”

“ Oh sure. And I meant it. You’re my friend and you deserve all the good things life has to offer.”

He doesn’t know if he agrees with that sentiment. No, in fact, he’s sure that he doesn’t agree. While he is free of the pain that bound him to Hydra, he will never be entirely free of the guilt his past has put on him. One, he thinks, makes him undeserving of so many things. Like friends. Like happiness. Like love.

And yet it’s nice to know that other people see in him what he may never see in himself.

“ Now let’s go rescue Sam before Robin ropes him into some kind of wedding preparations.”

She says, hands Bucky a bottle, and then grabs his free hand to pull him towards the other side of the room where Robin, dressed as Jessica Rabbit, gestures around wildly as she talks to Sam.

At first, (Y/N) doesn’t even realize it but then she notices that the hand holding hers feels different. It’s not as soft to the touch as a hand usually is. The glove is warm and smooth under her skin but she wishes she could touch the metal. It’s not some kind of weird, misplaced fetishization or some sensationalism. It’s the fact that the arm is a part of Bucky as much as his eyes or his smile or his perpetual grumpiness. And she wants to know every part of him for they make him who he is, and who he is is wonderful.

3 hours.

It’s been 3 hours since they arrived at the party. 3 hours of music he doesn’t get from artists he doesn’t know. 3 hours of staying painfully sober while everyone around him gets exponentially more drunk. 3 hours of pretending not to notice the looks he’s getting.

3 hours and then it got too much. He’s well aware that this isn’t his time. By all means, he shouldn’t be here. Not like this. Stuck in a body that doesn’t match his actual age. Forever reminded of the fact that he’s not meant to be here. Usually, he tries to ignore that. Tries to learn about new things, tries to understand.

This party puts a mirror right in front of his face though. Makes it painfully obvious that this is not where he belongs.

What a party pooper he is. He’d hate himself. If his old self could see him now, standing alone on a balcony because he didn’t like the music inside. His old self would think of him as a coward. His old self is probably right.

“ Grumpy, what are you doing out here, all by yourself?”

For a second the music from the inside spills through the doors and into the serene night, only to be cut off a second later when (Y/N) steps onto the balcony and closes the door behind her.

“ Are you not having fun? “

“ It’s not that. It’s just —”

Just what? Bucky has no idea how to put it into words. It’s moments like this one where having Steve around would be so helpful. He’d understand and he’d know what to say. Steve always knew what to say. Steve just didn’t know when to shut up.

“ You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Ever.” (Y/N) says and bumps him with her shoulder as she leans against him looking out at the New York skyline.

“ I appreciate it.”

“ I was hoping you’d like my costume,” (Y/N) confesses after a moment. “ I feel like I tell you so much about all these movies you missed out on and I don’t know, maybe it’s silly, but I wanted you to feel in the know for once. Does that make sense? “

Bucky bites his lip for everything he wants to say is not something you tell someone you’ve only just befriended a few weeks ago. Never has he felt the need to spill his heart, with all his sorrows and fears and dreams, to anyone. Not until tonight. But it’s too much to burden her with. He can hardly carry the weight himself. To put it on her would be an awfully selfish thing to do.

So he just nods his head and smiles and he says “thank you” like it doesn’t mean anything when really it means the world.

“ Okay well, since I can’t bring you to the party — “ (Y/N) says and fumbles her phone from her dress pocket “ — I’ll just have to bring the party to you.”

For a moment she just types away on the screen before a familiar tune sounds from the speakers of her phone. A familiar tune, to Bucky. One he remembers dancing to when he was a whole other man.

Glenn Miller’s Moonlight Cocktail fills the air and Bucky’s lips unwillingly lift into a smile.

“ If I remember correctly,” (Y/N) says and reaches out her hand to him “ you owe me a dance.”

Bucky laughs and shakes his head, but grabs a hold of her hand anyway “That’s not how it works. You can’t just say someone owes you something simply because you want it.”

She’s so close now. He can see the lights reflecting in her eyes, can feel her chest lift with every breath she takes.

Here’s the thing about loneliness. After a while, you get used to it. It becomes a part of your life, of yourself, like breathing and sleep. You don’t even realize that you’re missing something. Until one day you’re chest to chest with a beautiful girl who thinks you’re wonderful and worthy of her friendship. And it’s then that you realize how lonely you were and how much it hurts and how much you’ve been missing the touch of another.

“ I’ve always wanted to dance through the night. Ever since I’ve first seen Moulin Rouge in the cinema.” (Y/N) says and they start to slowly but surely sway to the music. It’s tentative steps at first, shy and unsure. Barely there moves but there after all.

Sometimes it’s enough for things to be small. The big moments, the important ones don’t need to be big at all. Some of the most important ones don’t demand a lot of space and yet they take up all the space in your heart.

“ Do you remember your first time seeing a movie at the cinema? “ she asks, looking up at him with her starlight eyes.

It’s not a memory he can recall. It’s one of those that have been lost in the shuffle. Like a sweater you love that’s been lost in the laundry or a picture frame gone missing during a move.

“ I don’t. I do remember my last trip to the cinema though.”

“Yeah? What was it?”

This memory is so vivid, it could’ve happened yesterday. He remembers the old dusty velvet seats. He remembers the propaganda spot shown before the movie, the one that put a feeling in his gut as if he’d just swallowed a sack of bricks, now knowing what was to happen but expecting it. He remembers Ruth Dillinger and her gorgeous blond hair and the way it smelled like soap and flowers. And he remembers the movie.

“ Casablanca. Saw it on a date with a girl.”

“ Aw, you took her on a movie date? Lucky girl. “

“ I don’t know if I’d go that far. I wasn’t half as respectable of a guy back then. Was more interested in sneaking a kiss in the dark than taking her to see a good movie. “

“ Did you do the whole, yawning-arm-around-the-shoulder thing?”

“ Obviously.”

“ Oh, you were just a regular casanova, Mr. Barnes? “

“ For sure. “

New York feels alive with the power of possibility. Of a night being more than a night. Of small moments being big and big moments being so tiny and intimate and small. New York feels alive with emotions. Ones Bucky doesn't understand and couldn’t understand. But either way, he feels happier in that tiny insignificant moment than he had in a long time.

“ I’ve never seen Casablanca.”

At that confession, Bucky pushes away from her a little so he can properly look at her, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“ What? It’s a classic. I have good reasons for not having seen most of your movie recommendations, what’s your excuse? “

She smiles bashfully and shrugs her shoulders “ I really don’t know. I just never got around to it. I feel like it’s such an important movie, it asks for a special occasion. Like seeing it at some fancy cinema or in concert or something. You know? “

Bucky only chuckles before pulling her close for another soft sway around the balcony.

Only the serenity doesn’t last very long as the aggressive drumming of some EDM song penetrates the quiet and Sam steps out onto the balcony.

“ Hi guys, uh — am I interrupting something ?”

“ No, no. That’s alright” (Y/N) exclaims, sounding a little flustered as she pulls away from Bucky and presses pause on her phone, plunging them all in silence.

“ I’m gonna get going in a moment. Need to catch an early flight tomorrow morning. “

“ Aw, so soon? Well okay but it was so nice to meet you Sam. You’re welcome at any future party or just drop in at the diner whenever you’re around.” (Y/N) says and pulls him into a hug.

“ I will don’t worry. Told you, I like you already.”

They share another quick hug before (Y/N) excuses herself to get Sam’s jacket from another room, leaving Sam and Bucky alone on the balcony.

“ Do not say a word!” Bucky orders as he notices yet another grin forming on Sam’s face.

“ I didn’t say anything.”

“ But you want to. I can see it.”

“ What would I possibly say, Buck? That you’ve got it bad? You know that yourself. “

“ It’s not like that.”

“ Okay, if you say so. “ Sam complies and lets another silence fall over them.

That’s until he speaks up yet again “ You dance. Man, I can’t believe it. Hey, can you waltz?”

“ Shut up! “

The party is slowly but surely winding down. A lot of people have left by now.

Some are asleep on the couch. On the floor. Against the wall.

A few are still lingering around, talking in low voices. Slurred words, tired eyes, light hearts.

Bucky tries not to step on anyone as he maneuvers his way around the apartment, trying to find the room where (Y/N) put all the jackets. It’s time for him to go, no matter how much he wants to hold onto the moment. He’s tired and the party is as good as over. And anyway, he hasn’t seen (Y/N) in a while.

“ Psst, Grumpy“

(Y/N) peeks out from behind a door, beckoning him closer. As he steps into the room he’s embraced by a warm amber glow coming from a string of fairy lights that frame one wall.

On her bed, (Y/N) sits and leans against the headboard, balancing a laptop on her legs. The wall behind her is covered in photographs. Some of her, some of people he doesn’t know. There are pictures taken at concerts, theme parks, the beach. She’s smiling in most of them. Happy. Memories of a lifetime forever caught on film.

This, Bucky realizes then, is something he wants. Not right now but eventually. To make memories. Ones that last. Ones that don’t get taken away from him. And someone to make those memories with him.

“ Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you,” Bucky asks as she pats the blanket and he sits down on the bed next to her.

“ I’ve been looking for this movie and I finally found a decent copy we can watch.”

“ Now? “

“ Yes now. It’s supposed to be a really good one. I think you’ll like it. “

Bucky’s tired. He honestly just wants to go home and try to find at least a few hours of sleep. But she does it again, that thing where she smiles and his heart does the weird fluttery thing. And he can’t say no to that. Why would he ever want to say no to that?

So he scoots backward to rest against the headboard as well and his eyes take in the swirly white font on the screen spelling out Casablanca over the black and white image of a map of Africa.

His smile won’t be suppressed anymore. It takes over his face like it belongs right there.

"Thought you were waiting for a special occasion?"

“ I was and I found it. Now, what’s the romantic lesson I can learn from this one? “ (Y/N) asks as her head comes to rest on his right shoulder.

Bucky considers it for a moment, tries to recall exactly what happens. Some details are fuzzy, some lost altogether. But he remembers the core of it all. The love shared between two people.

“ It is about sacrificing the thing you want most in life to make sure the people you love are safe and happy. It’s about putting the one you love above yourself and breaking your own heart in order to keep theirs from breaking. Love is selfless, never selfish. And love is worth it. I think that’s what it’s about. “

“ That’s a lovely sentiment. But so sad too.”

Bucky only nods in agreement and as the title credits roll he wonders if he’ll ever get the chance to really figure out love. To fall for someone and love them so much he’d give up everything to see them happy. Even himself.

Though they call it the city that never sleeps, New York seems to grow tired. It grows calm and quiet and maybe for a second it falls into a slumber in the same way that both Bucky and (Y/N) fall asleep, cuddled up on her bed, while Ingrid Bergman flies away on a plane and Humphry Bogard walks into the black of night.

Bucky hasn’t slept in a bed in months in fear of nightmares and terrors lurking in the dark corner of his mind.

That night he doesn’t have nightmares. In fact that night he dreams. Of slow dancing on a balcony with only the stars bearing witness to the moment. He dreams of red slippers and fairy lights and black and white movies.

That night he doesn’t have nightmares. Only sweet dreams.

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[lunawritingspaceoxoxxx]

Unresponsive II

Three months

Three

Three months

Y/N thrived in the art world, their first displayed piece expressed the raw feeling of losing a love that was so exciting and heart racing and trying to manage in this bland, cold world. They glanced out towards the concrete jungle, watching people hustle and bustle around; single mothers, business men, ladies of the night, etc. They sighed, walking towards the canvas, rubbing their face as they tried to create anything from this creative funk. They knew this was coming from the trip to the falling out with Jennie, suppressing it until they couldn’t anymore, breaking down from just feeling absolute shit from just everything, they cried for their lost friendship, for Damiano, for everything that they sacrificed to get her. When they first started dating Damiano, they were in college for communications and journalism and for the most part, they enjoyed it for the most part and they thought it was going to stick for the most part and then they met Damiano. He came through like a hurricane, tearing through their world and showing them more than just their little small town as he sent pictures of places that he toured at, sending love letters and expensive jewelry.And they cherished every single one, keeping them in a small box underneath their bed, unable to stand even looking at them. Y/N rolled their neck as they pulled off their shirt, tossing it to the side as they grabbed a paint can as they stared at the blank canvas in determination.

TWO WEEKS LATER

“‘Up and coming painter,Y/N L/N, has been hospitalized at New York’s mental hospital. They’ve been experiencing vivid hallucinations and long periods of mania, breaking the glass of their high rise apartment. One theory is giving a little bit of insight to why they’re acting like this, some say she hasn’t been sleeping well or sleeping at all. They recently did a painting stream and you won’t believe this, for almost 30 hours. Some say that they didn’t move either, to eat or relieve themselves, so they potentially have an eating disorder as well.’'

Ethan scoffed as he changed the channel, tossing the remote to the side. “Lo sa ancora (Does he know yet)?” Ethan questioned as he opened a bottle of liquor, pouring himself a glass along with Thomas and Vic. “No, but he’ll probably know soon, you know he kept tabs on them. I don’t know why though, I’m pretty sure that they’re over with.” Damiano stepped through the door, looking worse for wear as he stomped through the room, taking the swing of the bottle. “Damiano….” “Just don’t. I don’t want to hear it, I know they’re in the hospital and-” “Dude, we’re just wondering if you’re okay, we don’t care about them-” Damiano stopped as he glared at Thomas, bending down in front of him. “I don’t give a shit how I feel, but you’re not going to disrespect Y/N in front of me. You can do it anywhere else, but around me.” Ethan quietly watched him as he slammed the door shut. “Maybe he’s onto something, he knows them better than us, maybe they’re nice.” Vic spoke up after a while, rubbing her neck as she felt an insane amount of guilt. She knew that Y/N knew that, and the rest of the band didn’t like them. They were so different from Damiano’s partners, none of his partners were foriegn, Y/N was an American and they did things differently than they do. “Are you okay, Vic, you look like you have an idea that none of us are going to like.” Vic was going to make this right and help these two useless lovebirds. “Pack all of your shit, we’re going to America.”

“What do you mean they’re not here? Where could they go?” The receptionist stared blankly at three before grabbing the phone. “If I knew that, I still couldn’t tell you because of HIPAA, if you don’t leave, I will call security.” They quickly stepped out of the building, disappointed as they looked at themselves. “Okay, so we’re going back home right?” Ethan looked done with everything, glaring at the paparazzi that made their way down the street. “We’re going to look for them, I’m not giving up, Damiano is close to shutting down completely and leaving the band. We owe it to him to at least help him either get back together or help him move on.” Vic realized during the ten-hour flight how well Damiano was doing much better with them in his life, they actively made sure that he was eating and remembering important small details. They were a match made in heaven and according to Vic, everyone needed someone to manage in the cruel world. “I know that they have a friend named Jennie, we just have to find where she’s at.”

“The world hasn’t been too kind to you, hasn’t it?” An older man glanced towards the backseat, frowning as he occasionally watched his child sleep. They looked exhausted and ready to throw in the towel from this brutal boxing match. He remembered them, crying into the phone, on the verge of a panic attack as they tried to form a coherent sentence and the next thing he knew, he was on a flight headed to New York. He knew that after the death of their mother, his wife, that they weren’t okay, but it was their senior year of high school and they got into a very prestigious school. They just kept going and going, no time to grieve and he was surprised that it took them so long to do so. As a father, he wanted to protect them from the outside world and yet, he couldn’t be there for them and it frustrated him so much. He pulled into a dirt road, sighing as they made their way down that familiar path. “I just want you to be happy again, just have this snarkier, larger than life attitude, and enjoy yourself. If you didn’t know, I’m proud of you and I’ll make sure that you know that for the rest of your life.”

“So you’re that Måneskin? Not going to lie, I thought Y/N was lying about him, you know? They seem a little...off the rails.” Ethan furrowed his eyebrows at Jennie as she basically walked around naked. “Is there another Måneskin band that we don’t know about? I’m getting sidetracked, where is Y/N? I know they had a breakdown and I thought in America you had to stay there for three days so?” Jennie just looked at the other woman, shrugging her shoulders as she walked into her kitchen, dancing to trashy pop music. “I really don’t know and I really don’t care, I didn’t consider Y/N as my friend. When they came to New York, I just took advantage of that, they were from the South. They came here and wanted to make all of the friends, wanting to get close with everybody and you know what? I could see them, slowly crack and not be their cheerful self and -” “God, no wonder they acted like that, they have you in their right ear, being a negative bitch and making themselves feel like shit.” Thomas spoke up as she pouted, making Ethan and Vic wear a puzzled look on their faces. “How are you making this about yourself? They’re obviously not in a good mental state, don’t make this about you.” Ethan shuffled uncomfortably in his seat as he looked around, coughing awkwardly. Jennie raised her eyebrows at them before she opened the door, pointing out. “Get the fuck out of my apartment and never come back. You’re lucky that I became friends with that hillbilly freak, no one else would ever deal with them.” Once again, they were stumped, they had no leads and they were pretty much ready to give up and call it a day. “...Vic, why are you doing this? Be honest with us, why do you feel this urge to help them? What have they done for you to help them?” “Because Damiano..has become a better person because of them, he’s been worse than this before. He would sleep around, not caring about who he hurt in the process and he was just sinking further and further. Then Y/N came along, they became friends and it took months of Damiano being called out for him to change and during that time frame, he fell in love with Y/N. ...I was jealous, he was more open with them than me. I’ve known him longer than anyone else and it was painful for me to hear him express his dreams and feelings to someone else. I wanted him to express himself with me instead of trying to act like he’s okay with whatever he was dealing with. That’s why I despised them, my jealousy got the best of me and it clouded my judgement.”

2 MONTHS LATER

Y/N watched the fields of corn as they seemed to continue on, never ending as the days went on. They were mounted on their childhood horse, Luna, as they explored the unchanging surroundings around them. Everything was the same, albeit, it really wasn’t, people passed away and some left to bigger and better things and the town that they grew up with just faded away. It was a ghost town, hardly anything stayed in town, all of the mom and pop shops shut down as the older generation retired and their children didn’t want to run a store. Y/N was lucky to have such great parents and allowed them to explore and learn everything they wanted to know. They never held that against their parents, they knew that just being the weird kid would have been sheltered because they knew how society treated children who didn’t fit into the norm. ”Whatca thinkin about?” “Nothing really, just relaxing, thinking, I don’t know what else to do, I don’t want to go back to New York quite yet. I don’t want to paint..it just reminds me of him, and losing him was the second worst pain that I've dealt with. I remember when mom died and I just pushed myself through, buried myself in my college work and...Damiano helped me decompress, I lost my rock and I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t want to see me. His group just won Eurovision and they’re getting international attention…” Their father watched them carefully, walking next to them. “Let me ask you a question, why did you and Damiano fight? Let’s start from there.” Y/N stopped Luna as they spun around to face the older man. “We fought because I traveled all the way to Rome and got drunk for two weeks. I thought we were going to spend time together and he would take me to see his favorite places-” “Did you tell him that? Before you confronted him?” Their father gave him that same look that they loved to give. Y/N had this bad habit where they'd daydream about important conversations and not have those said conversations in real life, they looked away shamefully. “No...I didn’t” “You know men are dumb as rocks, you need to tell us everything or we won’t pick up on hints that you drop. When your mother was pregnant with you, she would constantly get mad when I didn’t do things which led her to getting a chalkboard to let me know what I needed to do. Good communication makes a relationship thrive and survive, you can’t be silent and expect him to come to you. Now, do you want with this information, there’s someone who would love to speak to you.” A car sped down the dirt path, unfamiliar with this terrain, stopping as they rushed out of the car. “How did he even..” They urged Luna to slowly make their way back inwards, nervously glancing back towards their father, he only nodded as he urged them to continue on.

“Excuse me? I’m looking for…” Damiano trailed off as he watched them slowly trotted over to him. “..How did you even find me?” “Honestly, I spent hours upon hours looking through our facetimes and I just wanted to see you...I have so much to say and I just….Ti amo e voglio essere con te(I love you and I want to be with you), I’m hurting when you are and I realized that I can’t imagine myself without you. You’ve been there when I was at my lowest and you know me so personally and I don’t want to lose you.” Damiano grasped their waist as he pulled them into his chest. “Damia-” “No, let me talk first, you were absolutely right, we should’ve talked about what we should’ve done when you visited. I was stupid to think-” Y/N covered his mouth, shaking their head, “No, I’m partially to blame as well, I didn’t communicate what I wanted and I ended up causing a scene and I embarrassed you in front of everyone and your bandmates probably hate me even more.” Damiano wasn’t even listening to what they were saying, unable to focus on anything else but them, he quickly took their face in his hands, eagerly kissing as he ran his hands along their body, gripping their hips. “You weren’t listening to a word I said, did you?” “Diavolo, no(Hell no), you’re too distracting for me to focus.” He chuckled, pulling them closer to him, smirking when they gasped. “Don’t give me that look, I’ve always wanted to sleep with my amore on their childhood bedroom, let’s make that into a reality, shall we?”

[escapewithbts]

Unexpected Envy (Part One) - Jimin

———————————————

The back of your throat burned as you downed the last sip of your vodka martini. It was already your third of the evening but you had no plan on stopping anytime soon.

Someone else did, however.

"Hey, do you think maybe you should slow down a little, (y/n)?" you best friend Jimin said into your ear from his seat on the couch next to you.

So controlling, you thought. Who is he to tell me to slow down?

In fact, Jimin's words just made you want to drink more.

"Actually, I think I'll have another. I'll be right back," you told him, standing up and walking away before he could protest.

As you made your way to the bar, you glanced back and noticed his worried expression follow you. You knew his words were out of care, not out of judgement, but that almost made it worse.

You see, you were a walking stereotype. You had fallen in love with your best friend. At first you avoided telling him, too afraid of his reaction. But you thought you saw signs. Thought maybe he felt something, too. So you went for it. You wanted that whole "best friends fall in love fairytale ending" crap.

But you didn't get it. You told Jimin how you felt about him. A week ago to this day as a matter of fact. But it wasn't a fairytale ending. It was a nightmare. He had said the words no one confessing their feelings wants to hear... "I just want to stay friends", along with a "You deserve someone who can focus fully on you" but "I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship because you mean a lot to me". Straight out of a Rom-Com.

What they don't show in Rom-Coms is the hurt. The one who gets rejected cries and eats chocolate ice cream while listening to sad music and watching classic romance movies.

But in reality it's not like that. No, you were so heartbroken you could literally feel the ache in your chest; it had been like that for a week straight. You could hardly sleep. You wanted to go back to the time before you had said anything, when the idea of you and Jimin happily in a relationship was just a figment of your imagination.

You couldn't stop being his friend, though. Not having Jimin at all was worse than not having him as your significant other. So through all the pain, you had to smile, had to pretend like it wasn't that big of a deal. Just play it off and act like you were fine with the fact that you and Jimin were only ever going to be just friends.

But as the week went on it was getting harder and harder to pretend like nothing was wrong, especially since you weren't only best friends, but also roommates for the time being. Jimin was letting you stay with him at his penthouse apartment while you got settled in Seoul from moving abroad. It made everything so much worse, having to constantly see him. And Jimin wasn't stupid. He was almost annoyingly observant, always on alert and aware of what the people around him were feeling. He could tell things weren't okay.

Which is why he invited you to his music label's year end company party. They had rented a club just for the talent, their management and agents and some staff, and everyone was allowed to bring a plus one. So here you were. Jimin's plus one.... but only ever as a friend, of course.

"A vodka martini, please!" you shouted to the bartender over the music blasting through the speakers.

You adjusted your black dress that stopped just above your knees and showed off your shape perfectly. At least you felt like you looked good on the outside.

Suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to see who it was and became face to face with a member of the band TomorrowxTogether. You remembered his name to be Yeonjun, you had met briefly but only in passing whenever you were at events with Jimin and BTS.

"Hi, you're (y/n), right?" he asked, giving you a warm smile.

You smiled back.

"Yes, and you're Yeonjun. I think we've met a couple times."

He nodded.

"That's right. Did you come here with Jimin-hyung?"

You answered with a nod as the bartender placed your fresh drink on the counter next to you.

"Ah okay, okay, I thought so. He's a really great guy, I look up to him a lot. He's also very handsome."

You chuckled politely, impressed by his obvious fluent English.

"Yes, he is."

Tell me something I don't know, you thought.

Yeonjun looked down shyly and continued,

"I hope it is not too bold of me to ask, but is Jimin-ah your... ar-are you two, you know... together?"

Your stomach flipped and you immediately had to take a big swig of your martini.

No, but thanks for the reminder.

You smiled at him the best you could, trying to radiate confidence even though the question had caused the opposite effect.

"No," you said flatly, "We are just friends."

There was that ache in your chest again.

Yeonjun's face lit up at your response. It was cute, in a puppy-dog sort of way.

"Great, well then, I was wondering if maybe... you'd like to dance with me?"

This was perfect, exactly what you needed. A nice distraction from the man who didn't want you who was waiting for you back at the booth. Yeonjun seemed kind enough, and you had just enough liquid courage running through your veins to not care about making a fool of yourself on the dance floor.

Jimin who?

"Yes," you set your fourth empty glass on the bar and smiled, "I would like to dance with you."

Yeonjun took your hand and lead you out to the dancefloor. The music was so loud you could hardly hear yourself think, but you preferred it that way. You and Yeonjun made your way towards the middle, shifting through dancing bodies all around you. You faced each other and starting moving back and forth to the beat.

"I'm not a good dancer!" you yelled to him.

He smiled sweetly back at you.

"It's okay! Just follow my lead!"

He then grabbed your hand in his and twirled you under it, then wrapped his arms around your waist from behind before spinning you out away from him. Your hair swung around you, and you threw up your free arm before ending up back in Yeonjun's arms. You continued dancing this way, him taking the lead and keeping you close while still being respectful. You were having so much fun, and for the first time in a week none of your thoughts consisted of Jimin.

"You're a great dancer!" you shouted to Yeonjun as he twirled you around again.

"I've had a little practice!" he yelled back, earning himself a giggle from you which caused him to grin.

All of a sudden, out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a red blazer shuffling through the crowded dance floor and heading towards the two of you. You knew who it was.

You felt a warm hand on the middle of your back. The mere contact made your heart pound.

You and Yeonjun stopped dancing. Why did it feel like you were both suddenly in trouble?

"Ah, oh, hello, Jimin-hyung!" Yeonjun smiled and bowed deeply at the older boy who had appeared in front of him.

Jimin nodded his head back at him but his face showed no emotion.

"Yeonjun," he replied curtly.

Then he turned to you. The look on his face caught you by surprise. His eyes were dark, his face looked so stoic it almost frightened you. He didn't look like the happy, caring Jimin he usually was. You weren't sure what he was feeling, but he looked almost evil, and dare you say... sexy?

Stop! You scolded yourself. You had to stand your ground.

"(y/n)-ah..." he began, staring straight into your eyes and cocking his head, "it's getting kind of late, don't you think? I'm leaving now and I believe I am your ride."

You noticed Yeonjun's face turn into panic, fearing he disrespected his older hyung by keeping you. But you were your own person, Jimin brought you here but he didn't own you.

"Then go, Jimin, it's okay," you wrapped your hand around Yeonjun's forearm and stepped closer to him, "I'm having a lot of fun with Yeonjun so I think I'll stay."

Jimin didn't take his eyes off yours. Yeonjun shifted uncomfortably but couldn't stop the sheepish grin from appearing on his lips at the mention of you having fun with him.

"But how will you get home?" Jimin asked, clearly impatient.

You waved your hand.

"Oh I'll just take a taxi or something, don't worry about it, I'll figure it out."

There was a pause as the two of you stared at each other. You knew what Jimin was thinking, he was your best friend after all. You could tell he was not happy with you staying here without him, almost like he was telepathically urging you to come with him. But he couldn't fight your independence and knew it was pointless to try. You watched his face fall briefly, like a look of sadness, but then a signature warm, eyes-almost-closed Jimin smile appeared and he reached out to shake Yeonjun's hand.

"Okay, okay, well then you take care of her, Yeonjun," he said in Korean, "She's my best friend, you know."

You internally winced at his use of those words. Yeonjun bowed.

"Yes, of course, Hyung."

Jimin turned back to you. He looked a little defeated, and the side of you that cared about him so much more than you have ever cared about another human being suddenly felt badly about him leaving without you.

He leaned in to you so you could hear him better, his full pink lips barely grazing your ear. Your whole body broke out in goosebumps.

"Just... be careful, (y/n)-ah." he whispered, before stepping back and giving you a smile.

Then he lifted his ring-covered fingers in a wave and turned, disappearing into the sea of people.

*

Part Two

Masterlist

[wisteriabookss]

My ACOSF Review (2/5 Stars)

Please respect my opinions. Not everything I say will be praiseful or nice. While I liked a lot of this book, a lot of it frustrated and bothered me. 

This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk. 

This review will be more of an overall impression, and I will get more in depth about certain characters in future posts. 

I eventually got into the plot of the book, but I don’t think it was as great or creative as it could’ve been. I feel like SJM recycled ideas she’s already used to create the storyline. A quest to find a magic object that can stop a war and save the world? That sentence applies to both ACOWAR and ACOSF. It’s even more disappointing when you know there were other routes the plot could’ve taken but were eventually scratched. It was the perfect set up for an Illyrian mountain setting, it was written in canon, and, unsurprisingly, SJM retconned and changed it. 

The Valkyrie plot was cool, if a bit forced and out of place. Nesta barely starts training, and all of a sudden she wants to recreate a powerful band of female warriors that we’ve never heard of in the context of this world? Honestly, it feels like SJM watched Thor: Ragnarok, and was like, “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.” I thought Helions winged horses would come into play with that, but I guess we’ll have to see.

I thought the Blood Rite plot was gone, but we got it in the end, even though it was rushed. The most beautiful parts of the book happened during the Rite, so I’m glad we got to see those.

The ending of Briallyn was so swift I literally had to go back a page to make sure I read it right. Literally one page, and she’s killed. I expected more. I can’t say I'm surprised by how rushed her death was when I knew the Feysand trouble was approaching, and the number of pages left was getting smaller. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that SJM would save Rhys, Feyre, and their baby. Out of the entire ensemble in Kingdom of Ash, she only had the heart to kill Gavriel, who wasn’t too much of a main character. There was no way in hell she would do that to Feysand. 

I’m sorry, but I do not like the name Nyx. Imagine calling someone Nyx? Did she originally have it as Nick, but just needed to put an X? My eyes were rolling so hard when I read it. Just put an ‘O’ in front of it and end our misery, though I still would’ve rolled my eyes at that name too. The name just reminds me of all the blogger moms who put X’s in their child’s names for dramatic effect that ends up looking like they can’t spell.

I also didn’t appreciate the out of touch colloquialisms in this book either. Prythian doesn’t have a name for anxiety, depression, or PTSD, but they know what lactic acid means?

The amount of sex in this book was something we had been warned to expect, and I think due to the fastness of me reading this book (finished in two sittings), it made it feel like the sex was happening every other page, which it basically was. I’m not going to be mad though because a) it was well written, b) I didn’t feel like it harmed the plot too much, and c) this is the only Nessian smut we’re going to see in canon. But that threesome line with Az. . . y'all know which one I’m talking about. . . the one with the details about certain positions. . .  chile um anyways let’s move on. 

I called it months ago that Emerie would either be Mor or Azriel’s love interest, and looks like it’s going to be Mor. SJM’s writing is fairly predictable, especially when it comes to romantic ships, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about the two of them. I will write about Gwyn and Azriel in Azriel’s chapter review (cause that monstrosity needs a post of its own).

Now about Nesta’s healing arc. Some of it was satisfying and others were saddening. I’m happy that Nesta was able to find purpose in her life, and not believe herself to be worthless or pathetic, but strong and powerful. I’m happy she found Gwynn and Emerie; I love their friendship. I love how they stuck by each other no matter what, and saw the good and potential in one another.

However, even by the end of the book, Nesta still thinks herself as undeserving. Of Cassian, of love. She knows she has it, and she's so grateful for it, but she still believes she is undeserving of it, that Cassian is just so much better than her. A part of learning to love and live with yourself is knowing what you deserve, so why SJM took that from her character, I don’t know. I was continuously disappointed when said she was undeserving of anything, even after she had learned and grown from her mistakes. 

Maybe SJM thinks the belief of being undeserving of one's partner is romantic. I’m telling you now, it’s not. All that does is give unnecessary power to a person you believe you are undeserving of, and this leads to unequal power dynamics in a relationship. Rhys was the exact same with Feyre, so I’m guessing it's a theme.

Speaking of romantic themes, the repetition of the “your mine-im yours” line in this book was nauseating. Your going to make Nesta say the exact same thing her sister said when they had sex? Is there nothing else SJM could’ve come up with? It’s just so weird. And I swear to god if I see Elain do the same thing I’m gonna vomit. 

Nesta apologized to Cassian about what she said to him on Solstice in ACOFAS as if he never called her unlovable. As if he never said he didn’t understand why her sisters love her. He never apologized for that. There was so much apologizing from Nesta to Cassian about her calling him a brute, as if Cassian didn’t say he was “shackled” to her after she clearly explained how she feared she would lose her humanity if she accepted the word mate. Not if she accepted him, but the word. 

For Cassian to routinely tell Nesta to, “shut her fucking mouth,” when she used some attitude against Rhys was comical. Rhys has been bad mouthing and disrespecting Nesta this whole time, and when she shows some warranted attitude in return (not even an insult), Cassian rips into her. It doesn’t matter what he did for you, babe. Not everyone has the same experience with Rhys, so Cassian getting angry when Nesta showing anger at the way she was being treated was wrong. Her experience with him does not become invalidated just because Cassian has a good relationship with him.

There wasn’t a character arc for Cassian, which was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. He thinks of himself as inferior and undeserving as well, and by the end of the book it’s not even clear if that stance has changed. We saw him grow into the courtier persona in the meeting with Eris when Tamlin shows up, but we never see it again. I know there were instances in which he stood up for Nesta, but he also very quicky after that became silent in other moments when they were insulting her. The next book isn’t in his pov, but I’m hoping we see him become more confident in himself and make a firmer stance to protect Nesta (although I doubt he’ll need to seeing as how Rhys kisses the ground she walks on now).

Now onto Nesta’s apologies to the IC. I think Nesta apologizing to Feyre was expected, and I’m glad the sisters had that moment. I am, however, upset that there was never a moment where all the sisters sat down, and hashed it out. Talked about what they’d been through, how it affected them, and how it affected their feelings toward each other. After everything that happened between Nesta and Elain, all that hurt, you’re telling me all it took was Nesta to make Elain laugh by saying “fuck you,” and we’re good? It’s lazy writing. 

Elain telling Nesta that she only cared about how her trauma affected her did not sit right with me. Nesta sat by Elain’s side for weeks when she was in the thick of her struggles, and refused to leave her alone for fear that her struggles would eat her up alive. She constantly looked for anything that could help her sister, and never left her unprotected. Nesta and Elain didn’t communicate after the war, for reasons that we now know was because of Nesta’s guilt for Elain being kidnapped. It is not abnormal when a family member has been traumatized by things that have happened to another family member. That’s expected. Ask any family who has lost a child or had a relative go through something horrible.

Elain is acting as if Nesta has only ever been concerned with herself when she’s spent her entire life concerned with Elain. I made a post long ago about how the IC only wanted Nesta to heal for their sake rather than her sake, and there’s so much more evidence for that than for Elain. Elain’s healing process was able to be understood and encouraged by the IC, whereas they had no idea what to do with Nesta. So for Elain to come at Nesta for not caring about her trauma, a second after Nesta was trying to protect her from further trauma by telling her she didn't want her seering for the Trove, was unwarranted.

Speaking about Elain looking for the Trove, what happened there? Elain had this whole speech where she said she wanted to do something and no one could stop her and then we just. . . don’t hear anything about it again? SJM had a perfect opportunity to do something powerful with Elain there, and completely threw it away. 

Nesta’s apology to Amren was extreme, dramatic, and honestly, unnecessary. Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life,” constantly demeaned and degraded her anytime her name was mentioned, and said she did all this because Nesta used her as a shield against her problems and the IC. Seriously? Nesta using Amren as a shield does not warrant that kind of verbal abuse. It doesn't make her a pathetic waste of life. Amren’s been alive for how long? And reacts like that to an obvious side effect of extreme trauma? No ma'am. Nesta getting on her damn knees was too much, and obviously just another moment, like a lot of moments, that SJM felt the need to make dramatic. And then having the audacity to let Amren say to Nesta that, “the struggle with the darkness is worth it,” when she was one of those people who contributed to that darkness is disgusting.

I didn’t like Rhys at all in this book. Even after he saw inside Nesta’s mind about her experience in the cauldron, he was still wary and rude with her. Literally anytime Nesta showed that she was changing, Rhys didn’t change anything about his attitude or behavior towards her. A moment of regret, and then he’s back to being arrogant ass Rhys. Him not telling Feyre about the baby was also extremely stupid. It’s her body, her life, her baby’s life, his life, and she had a right to know what was happening. Not telling her because you didn’t want her to be “upset,” is a dumb excuse. I thought you always promised to let her make her own decisions, Rhys? What happened to that promise? The one that was a hell of a lot better than the stupid bargain ya’ll made? Though Nesta told her out of anger, good on her for telling her sister. Should’ve happened way sooner. His apology to Nesta was the only one that warranted the dramatics. That is what you get on your knees for.

That whole scene about him becoming High King had me throwing the book. Amren telling Rhys that the swords were some sort of mother-mary-cauldron-blessed-hallelujah sign that he was supposed to be High King had me fuming. It’s Nesta’s power. It’s Nesta’s sword. That should have never been a discussion. Not everything is for Rhys. These people are so blinded by their love for him they can’t even see how arrogant he is. To write Nesta giving back Ataraxia made me so angry after we just had a whole moment where we find out it means inner peace. I just hope that all of this is not foreshadowing Rhys becoming High King. I know you love him Sarah, but please don’t.

All in all, this book wasn’t too bad. There were some great moments and some bad moments. I think SJM’s biggest issue in her writing is that she doesn’t outline, or at least doesn't seem to outline, not thoroughly. I feel like she uses plot devices willy nilly whenever it’s the easiest solution. There was never a moment where I said, “that was clever!” A lot of it was cool, but not clever. Not creative. She also has a tendency to write very dramatically, in staccato type sentences where everything is made into a big moment, which bugs me a lot. 

I love Nesta. She’s still my fav, and will probably always be my fav. This book doesn’t change that, and as you can tell in my review, most of the issues I had weren’t with her behavior, but with the behavior of other characters. I still love Cassian, even though he made me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

Will I read the next books? Probably. I can’t seem to stay away from these characters or these books, so kudos to SJM for writing them. I know a majority of people have given this book 4 or 5 stars, but I can’t bring myself to give it more than 2/5.

[inamindfarfaraway]

Ideas for the Gauthier-Duong siblings’ akumatized forms:

Kane - Bondsmith

Kane wants to have people’s loyalty and positive regard - themes of entrapment and possession

Has just been denied the love of his stepsister and the right to more family than his mother

Goal is to trap Alison, Noah and Estelle as his loving family - the last push Estelle needs to accept becoming a superhero, because she may typically choose flight rather than fight to defend herself but nobody threatens her dad

Truly loves them and thinks this is the only way for them all to be happy; has a disturbing version of his sweet, excitable kid demeanour

Akumatized item is a keychain with an old photo of him and Alison on it, initially taken off his schoolbag, worn hanging from his akumatized form’s chain necklace with the now blackened photo embedded in his chest armour

Kane acts and seems to Estelle like a ‘golden boy’, wanting to be perfect and make people think he’s perfect to ensure they’ll stay with him (to protect his feelings), his whole outward personality reflecting that, and repressing his negative emotions, now released in full force - wears shiny gold plate armour, a gold mask shaped in a cheerful expression, and black underclothes and tarnished grey skin the armour cannot completely hide

Chain motif representing the possession of people he wants for himself and connections he wishes to preserve and enforce on others - lots of chain accessories, web of chains across his chest converging over the photo that prevents the heroes just pulling it out

Power is to bind people together with magical chains that he can mentally alter the length of - as well as physically restricting movement, gold ones make them get along with the other person and black ones make them reflexively dislike them, affecting only emotions, not thoughts, so people forced to feel good or bad about each other can still name reasons they shouldn’t in a detached, logical way; his plan to get the Miraculous is simply to chain the heroes directly to himself and compel them to give him their Miraculous, since his power doesn’t affect him

Bowerbird defeats him by using Ladybug’s Lucky Charm, a smoke bomb, to obscure his vision (Ladybug and Cat Noir are incapacitated, a black chain between them making them too busy arguing to focus), using her vocal mimicry to trick him into thinking she’s Alison so he lets his guard down, restraining his attacking arm with a perfectly timed Masterpiece before he can attach the chain to her, shackling his other arm with it, breaking the chain net with her paintbrush and smashing the photo

Estelle - Echo

Estelle wants to be listened to - themes of voice, sound and hearing

Feels disregarded and disrespected by her birth parents, especially Violette, and has her trauma from their divorce ripped up to the surface

Goal is to share her sense of loss of stability, security, control and agency with everyone else out of vengeful spite

Bitter, sullen, temperamental, sardonically mocking, essentially Estelle’s worst exaggerated

Akumatized item is her headphones, fused to her head and turned purple with red handprints ‘holding’ the earphones and three jagged crystalline red spikes on the band, constantly blasting music which is generated by her own emotional magic loud enough to faintly be heard externally

Her parents were her entire world and their fighting and divorce her world decaying and crumbling - power affects her environment

Pink skin, long floaty purple dress, long light green hair in pigtails and purple eyes - the colours, clothing and hairstyle she liked and wore frequently when she was eleven, during the divorce, as just prior to akumatization she felt no less helpless than she did then

Motif of red handprints gripping her arms and legs at multiple angles, symbolic of her feeling pulled carelessly and incompatibly in different directions

Doesn’t speak, a red gag stifling her voice

Power is to affect her surroundings through the music she listens to within a radius that expands as her strengthening emotions increase the volume; it differs depending on the genre, her psychological state automatically changing it: a mournful classical track turns the ground into bottomless quicksand (sadness), an aggressive rock song creates indestructible red crystal spikes (anger) and a rousing pop song lets her emit sparkly white light in burning lasers and blinding flashes (joy/confidence)

Bowerboy defeats her by, after repeated frontal attacks fail, realizing the best way to help his sister and save the day is to follow Ladybug’s plan, and distracting her from the safety of a bower while Cat Noir sneaks up to deliver a Cataclysm to the headphones

If they were akumatized in their superhero forms, Estelle would be Flame Bowerbird with a colour scheme based on that species instead of the satin bowerbird and Kane would be Killer Whale, switching the grey and white great white shark for its bigger, more intelligent predator the black and white orca.

[honeypiehotchner]

i knew you (Bucky Barnes soulmate au) -- part eight

Oop another chapter! I knew this would happen because as soon as I say an update might take a while, my brain spits one right out. Enjoy! xx.

Warnings: nothing much! Things are getting figured out and GASP there’s a touch of fluff in the end :)))

The conversation is going exactly as you figured it would. They want to bring Bucky in, continue the process of evaluation and extradition. But, you’re fighting it.

“Bucky doesn’t need to be evaluated and sent away. Bucky is fine, for lack of a better word. Yes, I admit, he might need some sort of psychological help, but that’s no different than any other soldier who went to war. At the end of the day, he’s just a regular soldier who went to war. You have to understand that.”

Everett Ross looks ready to combust. His arms crossed over his chest, he turns to look at Tony who is accompanying me in this meeting. Natasha is off with Secretary Ross to discuss revising the Accords, but will be back soon once we reach a compromising point -- which doesn’t look to be happening anytime soon.

“You’re telling me to listen to her just because she’s his soulmate?” Everett scoffs when Tony nods. “So what if he didn’t bomb Vienna, he’s done other things that we have evidence-- video footage, even, of him doing!”

“Oh, please,” you scoff, drawing Everett’s eyes back to you. “He was brainwashed. It was the Winter Soldier doing those things, not Bucky!”

“How are we supposed to know when he is or isn’t the Soldier, huh? How?”

“Because you can tell,” I snap. “I can feel it, and trust me, the Soldier is a complete contrast from Bucky. If he’s trying to kill you, then obviously he’s not Bucky. But if no one ever mutters those damn words to him again, then he’ll stay Bucky forever, and he can get back on the right track to recovery. Did we burn the book?”

“Yes,” Everett says through clenched teeth. “It’s been burned.”

“Do I get to see proof?”

“You want us to go get the ashes?” He deadpans.

“Please,” you mutter, adding a sweet smile.

Everett’s jaw clenches.

You watch as he orders someone to go find the remains of the burned book just for you to lay your eyes on. You know they’re only tolerating this because you know where Bucky is, but it’s fun to play with them.

While the guard goes to find the ashes, the conversation continues.

“Alright, as I said, he’s assassinated more people than anyone else--”

“He was brainwashed,” you nearly scream. “He did those things against his will. It was HYDRA that programmed him to do those things. He didn’t just wake up one day as Bucky and decide to kill some famous people.”

Next to you, Tony snickers, and when Everett glares at him, he holds his hands up in surrender. “She has a point.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, but then you’re back on track. “Would you seriously treat any other soldier like this? He was brainwashed, Everett.”

“Yes, as you keep saying.”

“Because you’re not getting it,” you snap. “You don’t understand. And you won’t, so I’ll stop trying to make you. But you have to at least have some sympathy. He was a prisoner of war. Would you treat the others like this?”

Everett stays quiet.

“They’re given medals, aren’t they?” You press on. “For their courage. For their bravery. For surviving. I’m not asking you to give Bucky a medal and honor him on national TV. All I’m asking is that you help us convince Secretary Ross to pardon him and to get him the help he deserves, so he can start his life over again.”

Everett says nothing, but he doesn’t have a chance to anyway. Secretary Ross enters the office with Natasha on his heels, as well as T’Challa.

“T’Challa,” you blurt, standing to your feet more out of surprise than royal courtesy.

“Y/N,” he returns the greeting with a nod. “You were right. I almost took out my vengeance on the wrong man.”

“Thank you,” I murmur. That’s one person who has seen the light.

“It is my pleasure,” T’Challa smiles gently. “Soulmates are rare and should never be taken away from one another.”

“Oh, seriously?” Everett’s voice interrupts us. “Soulmates are a fairytale. They are not enough to excuse this.”

“Excuse what?” T’Challa says. Everyone watches the King as he approaches Everett. “Do not take out your anger on those more fortunate than you. It is not their fault your soulmate could not bear to be with you.”

Your eyes widen. Everett wears a wedding ring, a simple gold band, but it must serve as more of a reminder than a vow.

Natasha steers the conversation back to its point. “Secretary Ross has agreed to revise the Accords, on the condition that all of the Avengers sign this time, not just a handful.”

You look to Secretary Ross in suspicion. “What’s the catch?”

“There is no catch,” he shrugs, beginning to pace the room. It’s an annoying habit of his. “We were listening to your conversation with Everett. And I, for one, stand with you.”

Still in disbelief, you stare him down, waiting for more.

“Barnes was indeed a prisoner of war. We don’t see it that way because in the past, prisoners have not been...brainwashed and programmed to assassinate. But he was a prisoner of HYDRA, and to treat him as the villain would be a grave disservice and disrespectful to his fight.”

You keep your face steady, not believing your ears. “What about the revised Accords?”

“It’s being drawn up now,” Secretary Ross announces. “Barnes will be pardoned for all actions, but he will also be required to seek psychological help. Government paid, of course. It’s the least we can do.”

“Okay,” you nod. “What else?”

“Well,” Secretary Ross sighs, clearly annoyed that you can see right through him. “I’m requiring that you sign the Accords as well, Miss L/N.”

“What?” You blurt, looking at Tony. “I’m not an Avenger.”

“Not yet, but you will be,” Tony replies. “You think I didn’t notice you stole one of my AI’s, by the way? If you wanted one, you just had to ask.”

“Stealing an AI doesn’t make me an Avenger,” you mutter. “And sorry. I was going to tell you eventually.”

He smirks. “I know. And you’re right, it doesn’t, but your skill does. You think those combat lessons I got you were for just anyone? No, those were Avenger’s level. Nat designed them.”

Natasha nods in confession. “I’m surprised you survived them. Nice work.” It’s a dry compliment, but it’s more than Natasha gives anyone, so it warms you.

“Yes, it was illegal earlier to try to escape with Bucky, but the fact that you are still standing here, that’s skill.” Tony stands from his chair to walk toward you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “You have the capability to be one of the best. You already are.”

You shake your head. “Tony, this is insane.”

“And so are you, if I do say so myself,” he jokes, removing one hand, but keeping the other to squeeze your shoulder comfortingly. “No one jumps off of buildings with Cap like that, like it’s nothing. You’re just as crazy as the rest of us.”

“Alright, fine, I’ll sign it,” you shrug his hand away, hiding your grin for now. “But I’ll need to think about the whole being an Avenger thing.”

“Deal,” Tony agrees, clapping his hands. “And Secretary,” he turns to Ross. “One more revision that I know Cap will want when he gets here: if we feel we need to go somewhere, we have to go. You can’t stop us.”

Secretary Ross doesn’t look pleased. “Tony, we talked about this.”

“No, but he’s right,” you step in. “It’s better to have the Avengers go somewhere they’re not needed, than to have them sitting at home when someone out there needs their help. It’s better to be safe than sorry, you know that.”

Secretary Ross thinks it over. He shares a look with Everett, who merely shrugs his shoulders in defeat. 

“Done,” he caves. “I’ll have that fixed. Now, where are they?”

“I’ll be bringing them in,” you reply firmly. “And I need to see that you’re true to your word, so this new Accords is going to be brought in and signed by the three of us,” you gesture to Tony, Natasha, and yourself, “and you,” you point at Secretary Ross. “No games.”

“No games,” he agrees. “I will be back with the new Accords.”

On that note, he exits the room, and so does Everett, though Everett does it more in the fashion of a stomping toddler. You roll your eyes when he glares at you through the glass.

“Good work, kiddo,” Tony praises, pulling you into a hug. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” you laugh. “And please tell me you were pulling my leg. I can’t be an Avenger.”

“Oh, that? No, I’m dead serious, sweetheart. We need you.”

“Hate that I’m agreeing with him,” Natasha chimes, a smirk on her lips. “But we do. I really wasn’t expecting you to make it through those training sessions, but when Tony told me you needed more, I was...shocked. Even Steve can’t get through those sometimes.”

Despite Natasha’s added praise, you still aren’t sure. “I still need to think about it. A lot.”

“Think away,” Tony urges. “But we’ll be waiting.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you shove his shoulder. It’s strange, acting so carefree and laughing right now when somewhere in an abandoned building, Steve, Sam, and Bucky are waiting for your call.

Bucky. You need to talk to him. You need to let him know that it’s okay that he doesn’t want to get to know you. Part of you hopes he’ll change his mind, but you know better now than to let that hope consume you.

Instead, you tune back into the conversations at hand. Natasha telling Tony about Secretary Ross’s face when you were going off on Everett. It’s enough to make even T’Challa laugh.

You trust your gut in knowing that everything is alright with Bucky, that they’re still just playing the waiting game. He seems at peace right now, maybe even slightly happy. You wonder what they could be talking about.

+++

“You know, when I told her that your favorite thing to talk about was her, she thought I was crazy.”

“Really?” Bucky feels himself smiling. “It’s the truth, though.”

“I know, that’s what I told her. I still don’t think she believed me,” Steve shakes his head. “I walked her home that first night, and started doing it every time we talked.”

“Good,” Bucky says without even thinking. He freezes after he says it, realizing the tone he just took on.

“I told her you’d kill me if I didn’t protect your girl,” Steve says quietly. “I guess I was right.”

Bucky’s smile deepens, but he doesn’t reply. Sam returns from his jog to say that they’ve given up on the search.

“I just watched three helicopters turn and head back. That’s gotta mean something good, right?”

As if on cue, Steve’s phone rings, and it’s you. He holds up the device to show the other two men. “I guess so.”

+++

Secretary Ross stays true to his word and brings back the revised Accords. To your surprise, he has everything listed, and is the first to sign.

Tony is next. Then Natasha. Finally, you sign the document. Spaces are left for the others, but you’re more than pleased that Secretary Ross is done playing games.

You call Steve to let him know things are settled and that you and Tony are on your way.

Once you arrive, Sam has to offer a sarcastic remark, “Took you long enough,” as he climbs in the backseat of the car. Bucky and Steve slide in beside him, both looking more like best friends than you’ve ever seen before.

Tony waits until they’re seated before taking off. You turn around in your seat to face them.

“So, Secretary Ross’s only stipulation is that every Avenger has to sign this one. But we amended it so they can’t stop us from going somewhere that we’re needed,” you nod to Steve, “and you’ll get your wings back, too, don’t worry,” you smirk at Sam. Finally, your eyes meet Bucky’s. “And you’re pardoned. Fully. I convinced them to see the light, so you don’t need to worry about anything from your past. Secretary Ross did add a clause that states you have to seek psychological help, but it’s fully funded. And I think that’s better than going to prison, you know.”

The slight humor in your words causes Bucky to smile, and you can’t help it when you feel your own lips stretching.

“Thank you,” Bucky says quietly, keeping eye contact, wanting you to know he’s being sincere. “And I’m sorry.”

You blink, forgetting for a moment that Tony, Sam, and Steve are sitting around you guys. For a moment, all you know is Bucky.

“Thank you,” you whisper, fighting back the tears. And as usual, you have to immediately follow it with some humor. “So...does that mean you’re done pretending you don’t know who I am?”

Bucky grins before he can stop himself. “I’ll never do that again, doll. You’re hard to forget, even after all these years.”

Tony clears his throat, effectively full-throttle slamming you and Bucky back to reality.

You quickly turn around in your seat, sinking down as far as you can go and ignoring Tony’s knowing smile.

There’s still more to talk about, things to work out, but at least-- at least he knows you.

[feckin-zicons]

that's why i hate larries, i hate them with all my heart. besides being boring they are hypocrites 🙄

Hey nonnie, sorry its taken me so long to reply but if you’re following me you know I’ve been travelling lately and have been more scatterbrained than usual. Not that I’m ever not scatterbrained, but its been just a little crazier than usual!

Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I hate Larries. After all their delusions can be pretty funny sometimes!

Joking aside, I don’t hate Larries, I love Larries, I’m a Larry, so I really hesitate to tarry the whole group with the same brush. However I do strongly agree with you that there are those who are complete hypocrites. Nothing annoys more more than when Larries ™ treat the other boys, other celebrities, their friends and even family as one more side character to the Larry Show.

In particular when Larries ™ flood comment sections asking or in some cases, ordering people to confirm rumors/the couple being together. The absolute fucking disrespect. Not just because they’re flooding comment sections in videos streams, tweets, what have you, that sometimes have nothing to do with the couple in question, but because its presumptuous and rude as fuck to think they’re owed a coming out- just because they’re fans of the boys.

Stop it. Thats fucking ugly as hell.

While I have no doubt all the boys will one day be out (as referenced by their continued efforts in fighting the closet. I don’t get the sense the boys will just stop at being freed from their contractual obligations). It should and will be on their own terms. Provided they’re not forcibly outed some other way.

Coming out is a deeply personal experience and no one, no one ever, has the right to out someone else. I’ll never not be absolutely furious at the Larries ™ who posted about having ‘receipts’ that would out the boys. Which… tbh weren’t receipts at all but thats a whole other story. I’m also still angry at the reactions after Liams Attitude spread that wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the entitled fandom that peddled ridiculous claims beforehand about Liam confirming Larry to be real.

I mean… What the actual fuck. Setting aside the fandom experience of the time, and boy was it an experience. What right would Liam have confirming Louis and Harry’s relationship? I mean, get some perspective? It doesn’t help that a lot of fandom adults were the ones coming up with, and reblogging those theories and the younger fans ate it up. It would have made more sense for Louis and Harry to do it but idk maybe I’m still out of touch for thinking so. I mean, it felt like every other week someone was talking about Larry coming out. It was such a shit storm oh my god.

Biggest issue I still have with them is that the entitled behaviour hasn’t stopped. For some it seems like, Larry coming out is it for them. Like pack it up, goodbye, shows over, Louis and Harry are gay and in a relationship and everything is rainbows, we get to see cute pictures of them and everyone lives happily ever after.

Yeah, no. Coming out, for anyone, is just the beginning, can’t even begin to imagine what its like for them. They’re still going to need everyones support, and it irritates me that for some fans it seems so fucking conditional.

Time and time again, I’ve seen tweets, and posts, and videos, whatever, going on about Larry coming out and it reads like a fucking wattpad story. Not just that but its always on the assumption by the poster, on the off chance they consider the other 3/5ths of the band and Ziam being a possibility, that Larry will come out first?

What?

I’m sorry but, what?

Everything I’ve seen from the boys tells me they’re all in this together, they support each other and are working through the bullshit as a team. We have all seen the No Judgement music video yes? The merch, posts, double speak etc referencing each other, yes?

I mean, I suppose if you only look at Louis and Harry, like so many do, sure. Only Larry matters, everyone else is a side character in their life.

(Lemme just, scream for a second).

However, that kind of thinking leads them to the wrong conclusions. Like… assuming the SBB/RBB countdown was attributed to nothing, when it counted down to Liam finally being free of Sophia. In the years since, I’ve seen Larries ™ backtrack on claiming the bears had anything to do with the boys, that they weren’t behind it at all, or that they were just trolling the fandom.

You know, despite all the proof otherwise, and some really, really good posts breaking down clues about what the boys were trying to tell us. The moment something might not actually be about Louis and Harry its like all their thinking shuts off. Its frustrating. Really fucking frustrating.

Seriously, fans of the other boys as individulas, not just Ziams, have been talking about the stunts too and how they fit together. Its why we tend to be right, because we’re considering the entire group. They’re still a group. They’re not free until all of them are free.

Just for that Nialls coming out first. Lmao. I’ll call it now. Lets go Niall, whens the baby coming. We all wanna know. Its been years.

Imagine, imagine! Acting like coming out is some race to be won. The fucking audacity.

Go outside and touch fucking grass you absoulte ninny.

I get it, you want to be vindicated, you want to be rewarded for putting your faith in two celebrities being together.

Newsflash you dandelionfluff, its not a race, Louis and Harry coming out isn’t a fucking prize. Thats not what supporting a relationship looks like.

Its worse when someone admits they don’t know much about Ziam or the possibility of Niall being LGBT+, and claim they’re open to it, but then immediately tweet or reblog or sub tweet or tag comment a post or answer an ask from another Larry ™ talking about how Larries ™ are the most marginalized and persecuted group.

???

In what fucking world?

IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?

If we wanna play that game, boohoo, the media claims Louis and Harry aren’t friends anymore because of crazy shippers. Meanwhile Zayn publicly isn’t friend with anyone and “left” the band… despite the Ziam fandom calling the stunt about either Louis or Zayn “leaving” and getting it down to the exact week (the second article coming out a week before about the Ziam kiss pretty much cemented it for Zayn leaving. Which did a lot to fan the flames of the already rabid fanbase when Ziam got two articles confirming a Ziam kiss over the years and Larry got nada. Like that actually means anything).

Not to mention Larries ™ using the hetties and management tactics against the other parts of the fandom to silence them.

Who cares what the media says anyway!  TPTB, 1DHQ, The Sun, The Mirror, Simon and his minions and their unpaid interns have used the media to split the fandom apart and it worked.

Who the fuck cares if the media calls the 1D stans delusional, you know the truth! The truth it out there and you’ve seen it! The truth is coming! Who gives a damn about what some two bit “journo” who failed out of their creative writing course writes? They get worse by the year. If it wasn’t so pathetic and hilarious I might actually feel embarrassed for them. They can’t even come up with new stories and have just taken to copying old articles, but you’re upset with them??? Give it a rest. Honestly.

The sense of disconnect, entitlement and victimhood of some Larries ™ is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh my god they’re Karens. I’m not trying to be insulting, but thats exactly who they remind me of.

I’m not going to say its a surprise to me that so many in the Ziam fandom are POC, LGBT+, and Neurodivergent and any combination of those, but I am going to say I’ve read a lot of Larry fics that just have Het sex made gay. Those in the Ziam fandom just tend to look at facts in a different way than Larries do due to their life experiences. A interfaith, interracial, relationship where one or both partners fall under the Bi umbrella (not saying Louis or Harry can’t be or aren’t Bi+ but rumors, and the way the fandom markets them, puts them firmly in the gay category) looks very, very different than gay or straight relationship. Both looking from outside and being in one. There’s just different dynamics at play that aren’t often realized or understood by the gays and hets.

Its not a bad thing. All relationships are different. The issue is that theres a lot of biphobia/racism/religious prejudice etc that arises from people being unwilling to understand the inherent differences.

Taking myself for example, I’m bi, like, bi as hell, and I don’t understand how gays and hets only like one gender. I just don’t. Can’t wrap my head around it. If someone asks me to choose one gender over the others to prefer I can’t. Its so stressful. My brain goes into panic mode and it feels like I’m being torn apart. My sense of identity is shaken- its a shit feeling. I just can’t lie to myself like that. If other people feel the same well, its no wonder bi+ have such high rates of depression and suicide. Its not about choosing who to like, there is no choice, I just feel attraction to everyone. Aces, I get. Its similar to being the opposite of what I feel, or not feeling an attraction to someone I’m not interested in. Easy. Gays and hets? I’m completely lost on.

Completely, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try and understand where they’re coming from. Its alien to me, personally, but I’m not going to shut down the fact, that theres a fuck ton of people who only like one gender or try and make up reasons as to why they’re actually bi+

I digress, none of the boys fall neatly into the gay stereotypes, its just that parts of the Larry fandom have boxed Louis and Harry into certain roles to fit preconceived notions (likely do to them initially fitting in better with the white, sassy, somewhat effeminate twink thats been plastered all over Hollywood as their “LGBT+ representation” for years. Gag), they can understand better, and only look for proof to back up their theories but don’t look at things objectively.

They really need to get out more and make some LGBT+ friends that aren’t on the internet and talk to some gay elders. They need educating that’s not the often sanitized and insulting Hollywood version, that’s all I’m saying.

They made Louis and Harry more palatable for themselves and its… really gross.

I don’t know, I don’t get it.

Some Larries ™ turned the boys into their fandom and fanfiction stereotypes when they’re so much more than that. The Sony leaks should have been enough to dissuade the fandom, and prove that the brand sold to the broader audience is just that- a brand, and yet… Niall only talks about food and golf and Ireland and is only allowed to be straight or ace. If he exists at all its just to be Capt Niall. Liams slow and dumb and depending on the day he’s either Capt Liam or a horrific abusive homophobe. Zayns just The Worst, a unstable drug addict, and the boys hate each other, and they should have kicked him out of the band sooner because he never wanted to be part of them anyway, etc.

It drives me absolutely around the bend some days. They’re real people who don’t owe anyone anything, especially not coming out.

Yes, I think they will. But they’re not obligated to. They can change their minds, I’ll support them regardless of an “official” coming out or not.

Look, a part of me gets it. They wanna be right, they wanna prove the haters wrong, they want to be able to say I called it all along! The vindication will be sweet.

But like, it takes a quick look at someone other than Louis and Harry to realize theres something hinky going on with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Please listen to their fans who have spent just as much time as you have looking into Louis and Harry compiling together evidence.

It might take a weekend to watch the ILYSM and pterodactyl bros videos and a few more hours looking into some Niall blogs, which isn’t much compared to the hours I know they’ve spent looking into Larry. At least then they’ll have enough information to form an opinion on things.

I wonder, for some, what would happen if Larry didn’t come out, or didn’t come out first, or one of the other boys was outed against their will. Because… I don’t know. It seems like some would rather just be proven right at this point.

I get it. We’re tired. Its been eleven long years. But this isn’t a television show were everything can come to a head with a s3 or s4 cliff hanger and fixed in the series finale. Its real life, and they started off as boys trusting industry veterans who never had their best interests at heart.

Iduno. I just want some Larries ™ to take a step out of the echo chamber, realize life isn’t The Larry Show & co. And especially. ESPECIALLY, that every instance were someone, friends, family, co-works, industry peeps etc support the boys they are SUPPORTING THE BOYS, NOT THE FANDOM. They are not “confirming Larry for the fans” they’re doing it to support the couple, not to cater to the fandom. Please stop confusing the two. There’s a huge fucking difference. Learn it.

[kexing]

Venji has always been endgame: Benji’s attraction to Victor

the first thing I really need people to understand is that Benji is not watching the show, he’s not seeing things through Victor’s point of view, and for the most part of the season he has no idea Victor is struggling with his sexuality. from Benji’s point of view, Victor is straight and into Mia. that’s how I’m going to be analyzing his thoughts and actions (well, guessing mostly because he does lack screen time and insight moments. hopefully we’ll get more of him in season two!!)

btw I’m gonna break it down episode by episode because I’m insane (and I also feel strangely connected to Benji so don’t @ me)

Episode 1 - Welcome to Creekwood

as I’ve mentioned before, you can interpret Benji’s “nice shoes!” line as interest. but even if you’re not willing to do that, I still think it’s valid to consider that he might’ve felt some kind of immediate connection to Victor (if episodes 2 and 3 are any indication of that. and the Call Me Maybe lyrics).

Episode 2 - Stoplight Party

the “Benji attempts to teach Victor how to make a espresso” scene is very much about Victor’s attraction to Benji so I don’t wanna look too much into it. also Benji comes off as (at least for me!) a very attentive and loving person, so his dedication to teaching Victor felt very genuine. but still like...... he did get lost in Victor’s eyes for a moment before the milk spilled akdjksdjjs

then at the end of the episode Benji calls Victor late at night (he even apologizes for that) when he could’ve called Victor at any other time or could’ve just told him at school. and well, (I may be reaching here but headcanons are always good!!) I like to believe Benji couldn’t stop thinking about Victor, which is why he decided to call. for some unknown reason he already feels connected to Victor and wanted to hear his voice and—

let me stop here before I write a whole fanfic because that’s not the purpose of this post.

Episode 3 - Battle of the Bands

oh boy, I’m gonna try to unpack this episode, hopefully I’ll make some sense. I’m very sorry if I fail!

so, Victor and Benji have the Call Me Maybe (cutest) moment, in which Victor tells Benji that he’s going on a date with Mia the next day.

Now. I need you to remember that Victor explicitly told Benji that he and Mia wouldn’t go to the Battle of the Bands and that Benji had already performed when Victor got there and only performed again because his band won the battle (so I’m pretty sure Victor wasn’t supposed to hear the Call Me Maybe cover). therefore this wasn’t Benji confessing his feelings to Victor. if anything, I believe it was his way of dealing with the intense and ever-growing feelings that he has for Victor through his biggest passion (music), pretty much like making a reference to something that you know no one else will understand (since for everyone else it’s just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop).

but then Victor eventually shows up and hears Benji singing Call Me Maybe and for him it’s definitely not just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop anymore. it’s their song

after the performance, it looks like Benji is going to talk to him about it, maybe to try and make it seem like it’s no big deal (since he thinks Victor is into Mia, and he himself is in a long term relationship) but Derek appears and we’re all left heartbroken (Simon & his friends included).

what I’m trying to say is: they are two halves of the same idiot. while Victor is in denial of his sexuality and attraction to Benji, Benji is in denial of his growing feelings for Victor. we love this denial duo

Episode 4 - The Truth Hurts

not much to say about this one BUT. at the beginning of the episode you can see how Victor and Benji are working totally in sync, to the point where they barely need words like the freaking soulmates that they are. honestly, I’m done pretending they aren’t soulmates because this show just kept shoving that into our faces over and over and if you failed to see it then it’s not my problem (or maybe it is since I’m literally spending my time trying to explain exactly that. but I just care too much about these two and I want people to understand why).

then Derek calls and Benji picks up lovingly because he’s a loving person and a caring boyfriend and even though he might be struggling with his feelings for Victor, he’s not about to neglect his boyfriend (shame we can’t say the same thing about Derek) (no I will not stop throwing shade at him).

Episode 5 - Sweet Sixteen

I could try and say several things about this one but for real, BENJI DREW VICTOR AND GAVE HIM THE DRAWING AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT. like! this stupidly artistic boy!!!!!!!!! this stupidly caring boy!!!!!!!!! he could’ve bought Victor literally anything or not even bothered to think of a gift At All, but he took the time to DRAW VICTOR LIKE ONE OF HIS FRENCH BOYS!!!!! what am I supposed to do with this knowledge!!!!

now I’m imagining Benji observing Victor. the way the light hits his face, how his shoulders move, the shape of his hands....... all the while telling himself it’s just to draw Victor!!!!! but that’s still beautiful and frankly thirsty nonetheless.

p.s I was robbed of a scene like that.

Episode 6 - Creekwood Nights

not much to say about this one except the show blatantly telling us that Derek can be real shitty sometimes. also, I wanna talk about Venji’s dynamics throughout the show so bad but it deserves a post of its own so I’m gonna hold my tongue.

Episode 7 - What Happens In Willacoochee

(stays in Willacoochee or maybe it will haunt your gay ass all the way to New York).

oh boy, this is where shit starts going down for real.

so Victor kisses Benji. I’m not going to defend Victor because what he did was reckless and dumb and frankly disrespectful. but I need to say that it was going to happen sooner or later because when you repress something too hard and for too long, it’s bound to come back with full force and explode in your face. I really wish it was in a different circumstance, of course, but also life isn’t always made of perfect situations and shit happens. (and nope, that does not excuse Victor’s actions).

now think about Benji. he’s been struggling with his feelings for Victor, who as far as he knows is straight and in a relationship, and then suddenly Victor kisses him. my best guess (due to his reaction to Victor’s speech in episode 10) is that he thinks Victor isn’t being serious about it, that in no moment that kiss meant anything but curiosity and recklessness, when they both have people to lose (again, he doesn’t know that Victor struggles with his sexuality, much less that Victor has feelings for him).

so yeah, I believe Benji was upset, not only with Victor though, but with himself.

(I’ll come back to this in a second)

no Benji in episode 8 so.......

Episode 9 - Who The Hell Is B

Benji decides to leave the coffee shop. Victor tells him that the kiss wasn’t his fault and Benji says that being around Victor makes him feel guilty, now why is that?

firstly because he’s not a psychopath and the fact that he cheated on Derek makes him feel guilty. but I do believe that that’s not the only thing that makes him feel guilty. deep down he liked kissing Victor. he likes Victor, he’s been doing his best to keep that buried but Victor had to go and complicate things, so now the only way to avoid making a bigger mess is staying as far away as possible from each other. so he runs back to the safety of his relationship with Derek.

(listen, I know the show makes it seem like Benji is super angry and wants nothing to do with Victor but I don’t believe that’s the case. he’s upset and feeling guilty for liking someone else, denial does make you act very hostile sometimes).

Episode 10 - Spring Fling

Benji’s denial continues but (thankfully) it won’t last much longer.

he goes to the bathroom and tells Victor that he’s read his letter and that he does forgive him for kissing him but that that doesn’t change anything, that it’s best for them to stay away from each other.

that’s until he hears Victor’s speech to Derek (which was more to Benji than Derek so). that’s the moment he realizes that Victor actually likes him, that the kiss as cursed as it was had meant something, that they both feel exactly the same thing. that’s what gives him courage to finally accept that he can’t be with Derek anymore because his heart belongs to someone else. (has belonged to Victor from the moment they met) akdjskdjsj someone please tell me to shut up

which leads us to the bench kiss(es) scene. now, these boys are a whole mess because Victor was still technically dating Mia (he did try to come out to her before, couldn’t do it so he decided to come out after the Spring Fling) (good intention, poor execution).

But I also believe this was just lazy writing and they wanted to have a scene where Mia catches Victor and Benji together. it could’ve been done better, they could’ve been just touching foreheads or something but they wanted the full drama so the kiss(es) happened. I’m taking 50 points away from the writers for this. (also does not excuse Victor or Benji since they literally met halfway. these idiots are so in love wtf!)

(I still love them though, and hope they do better in the future, for themselves and for each other).

anyway, I think that’s it! if you read up until this point: thank you so much!!!! I tried my best to understand and explain Benji since the show said fuck Benji stans. hope this helps!

— love, MJ

[gdsplay]

I've been a BB fan since I think 2016, and rn I don't know if i can continue or not. Please help me rationalize this, but do you really think they didn't knew/support him? YB is obvious but GD's insta posts were pretty on the nose. There's also Daesung's building situation, and I know this is old but with the news of YG threatening to kill people to protect B.I., even his old accident seems shady to me... I don't know. I feel like they are some scummy men now, this really isn't an attack at you or any other VIPs I just don't get it. I wish to like them again, but with the situation rn I can't. So I wanna know how you view these situations.

I’m here to debunk some of these assumptions;

Starting with support, what support? They’ve been living in silence since military service. They barely even update their own social media. Ot5’s will over analyzes any kind of picture or post to create a deep meaning behind it in honor of Seungri. These fan’s recently just spammed TOPs Instagram over a Picasso bug picture he reposted from a professional artist/photographer. A deep meaning over a bug… you can think like ot5s and always try to interrupt to create a deep meaning, perhaps what if Seunghyun was calling him a bug? See what I mean it’s all in the head.

The five hands? Well I don’t feel anything bad about it. The members aren’t ignorant. Why should we have to forget BigBang and not value the memories? Daesung used a screenshot and blocked all five faces, he won’t just block only seungri’s. They’re not doing to be petty and repost edited photos let alone full face ot5 photos. GD is very sentimental, it’s not that he’s particularly showing a stance but more so keeping the spirit of BigBang in the lest problematic way which a hand picture from Made was a good choice, a more reassuring picture so fans know they’re not going to disband or retire as a group over Seungri with or without him. I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to speak on any of this burning sun scandal for their own good. Even if it’s against Seungri it will cause chaos from all ends including media. I know it sounds like a good idea but you have to understand the culture over their in handling these situations is nearly similar to how us oversea people address issues. I know ot5 have been disgusting obnoxious about that post, so what? Let them, it can be their last crumb. BigBang are well aware they are now a four member group, they knew it was coming sooner or later just by all of their own quotes regarding it. Why should they announce they obvious? It’s not anyone’s fault that a group of these active fans can’t let go and move on. There’s nothing to explain to them or anyone. The popular attack of ‘contract fans’ thrown, it’s true though, bigbang would not of renewed their contracts as four members if the oath of 5-1=0. The guys would have disbanded or called quits on the band.

As far as that goes the members scolded Seungri for years about his behavior and choice of friend group or the way he treats women like objects. They’ve tried maturing him, even help him to lead him out of the off vibe of friends he befriend. His ‘hyungs’ always wondered where Seungri’s whereabouts are. He would stop hanging out with them, going out for birthdays or celebrations and even being the only member to not physically sit down and meet Taeyang’s girlfriend at the time, someone important who meant the world to Taeyang. He couldn’t even do that for his own brother, everything was business and business only. So they’ve spat that in his face multiple times and wonder why he became distant, wondering where he’s been.

They may of predicted the future but they had no idea about the secret business he was really up too and it’s very ashamed and disappointed to find that out publicly like everyone else. A stab in the back I will say.

BigBang, the hyungs, have always respected women, they’ve never expressed perverted or shady behavior with any of them. Most of GD’s personal friend group is full of women whom he is close with, many feel safe with him and trust him just like the other three. While Seungri on the other hand.. their has been some uncomfortable signs as of body language. He always always been in the running ‘jokes’ or caught too many times with his p0rn watching— more like unhealthy addiction where his personality is pervert-like.

Now don’t take my wording the wrong way I’m not trying to come off snarky at all; The problem is too many of people take what they hear and run with it. Daesungs building? Let’s talk about that, Daesung bought a building back in later 2017 was at? Somewhere around before he enlisted, he seemed to of not studied the building enough more so just a quit purchase. Since around 2005 before BigBang we’re even a thing, making Daesung a minor that building has been running secret sex services their or over a decade. Nobody knew about these acts happening. Daesung didn’t run the building or even work within this building, he was just the owner who at the time recently bought it. What I trust in Daesung is how well he handled the situation compared to Seungri. As soon as the news hit Daesung immediately reached out to the fans and expressed his shock and disappointment about the news accusing him. Right away he apologized making a statement hours after the news to reassure fans. Taking on the mature adult route, he said he will do everything he’s acquired to do to get to the bottom of this accusation. Daesung sadly got thrown under the bus and invoked since he was the owner, now he was doing his mandatory this whole time unaware as well as when he bought this building. He ha:d nothing to do with the tenants, again he onlt owned the building. That would be like an accident happening at your local store, let’s use as an example! Someone dealt with a very disrespectful employee, now is that the owner of the buildings fault or the employee that works there? What would the building owner have anything to do with that encounter, the building owner doesn’t hire the people to work in their building that’s all within management of the building who work their not the owner. Does that make better sense?

Daesung went through about a month of working with the police, Daesung was clear of all charges and he chose to not own the building anymore. At night time the tenants would run illegal activity in secret without anyone’s knowledge, it sure was bad timing but I’m glad he got cleared and quickly. It’s unfortunate he had to be dragged into the mix of that with just buying a building. Perhaps he will be more careful next timeZ. I feel he should of waited and not rush into something right before enlistment since he would be gone. These activities took place for around 14 years beforehand. There is a huge underground prostitution ring within Gangnam no one knows where all the secret hot spots are just the ones who are getting caught.

Unlike Seungri who ignored the news of burning sun first being talked about including himself, not only did he pretend that the news didn’t occur but his reply later in February at one of his solo concerts was ‘I don’t care, I like when people talk about me’ that was his bright and witty choice of phrasing to use regarding a serious scandal about to stir.. I knew then he wasn’t worth my time or support with such a gross and cocky attitude.

These assumptions many have regarding BigBang can be negative judging by what they hear and choose to believe. Which I understand if you don’t follow them you’re not going to know everything or keep up. Just like you I hope to educate and explain further deeper into these issues. This may help or not but I’m glad you came here wanting to know.