#act 3 deconstruction

[iriemorning]

voiceless

and the aural progress of things.

it always looks worse before it gets better. ever notice that? how things tend to fall apart right before they come together? like a storm hitting hardest just before it passes. like a lump in the throat that refuses to go away—until one day, you finally speak up, and it’s gone. it's free, away with the wind.

i didn’t have a voice before. not really.

not in the way that mattered.

but now i do.

and if i hadn’t gone through everything—the silences, the failures, the moments i let myself shrink—there wouldn’t be anything for me to say. people want the bloom without the mud, but that’s not how it works. the lotus only grows because of the dirt it pushes through.

and it’s funny, isn’t it? how easy it is to envy someone else’s success. to look at what they have and think, oh, must be nice. but we don’t always see what came before—the late nights, the rejections, the sacrifices. all we see is the result, never the work behind it.

and then there’s anger. the kind that rises up when you care too much to stay silent. we are often stigmatized that being angry should be scandalized. but anger isn’t always about destruction—it’s about love. i get angry a lot. but i won’t waste that energy on someone i don’t care about. if i am mad, it means it matters, it means you matter. i’m angry because i love you. if i didn’t, i wouldn’t even bother.

there are a lot of things that make me angry in my waking life. but the ones i actually speak up about? those are the ones that matter. those are the things i refuse to be voiceless about.

[famewolf]

honestly, I think I'm going to wait awhile longer to finish bg3. been working on allowing myself time and space to let my whims flow where they may, and I recognized I was getting stressed for not having finished it in a 'timely manner'

me shaking myself: it's a fucking game!! play it as much or as little as you want!!!

[captain-clive]

As a GM you have to be prepared for every possibility, your players can take your storyline and move it any reasonable direction and as long as it makes sense then it shall be.

Even if said direction is to shit in a blender.

[velvees-archive]

At 20 years old, Miles Edgeworth’s only mentor tells him never to step foot into his opponent’s territory lest he fail to crush them in court. 4 years later, Edgeworth enters Defendant Lobby No. 1 to warn opposing counsel Phoenix Wright about Redd White’s decisive testimony.

Some post-AAI1 reflections + how Phoenix unravels Miles from the very moment they meet again.

After playing through the original trilogy, up to 4-2 on Apollo Justice, and all of Ace Attorney Investigations 1, I couldn’t help but jot down my (admittedly incomplete) thoughts about Phoenix and Edgeworth’s relationship, especially as it pertains to Miles’ “unraveling,” or his departure from von Karma’s teachings.

We already know von Karma had no love for Edgeworth. Crushing the late Gregory Edgeworth’s legacy under the guise of mentoring his son (and eventually ruining his career at its peak) was von Karma’s last act of hatred towards the departed.

From Miles’ perspective, however, von Karma was an accomplished teacher to whom he owed his gratitude and career’s success. This is important because Edgeworth’s actions are fundamentally motivated by his desire to express his “gratitude,” repay debts, and honor legacies.

His debt to von Karma compels him to strive for the perfection his mentor obsesses over. Achieving perfection takes the form of absorbing von Karma’s teachings, among them the AAI1 screenshot from earlier: only face your opponent in court, and make sure you crush them when you do it.

We know for a fact that the “demon prosecutor” internalizes von Karma’s teachings. He follows them to a T.

So, following 15 years of indoctrination, 4 years of putting the von Karma creed into practice, and an entire childhood AND early adulthood’s worth of gratitude, you’d THINK Edgeworth wouldn’t dare dishonor him…

Until he does, by coming to the defendant lobby to speak to his “enemy.”

Prior to playing AAI1, I thought the impetus for Edgeworth’s character development was 1-3, wherein he reevaluated the facts of the case and helped Phoenix get Dee Vasquez a guilty verdict. I still think 1-3 was the first time he consciously acknowledged the possibility (keyword: possibility) that his prosecutorial upbringing wasn’t..sound…(lmao!)

But with this AAI1 von Karma and Bratworth interaction, I now believe it was 1-2—with Edgeworth subconsciously disregarding his mentor’s teachings and Phoenix acting as the catalyst—that shows us when he first strayed from the path of a Von Karma.

An aside: Do I think AAI1 Bratworth was perfectly characterized? Not at all; he’s much too noble for that era of his life, though I don’t think it affects my case.

Edgeworth is a man full of contradictions. He comes to the defendant lobby to tell Phoenix his case is hopeless, though he has no obligation to disclose—nor has he ever set a precedent of disclosing—decisive witnesses’ information to his opponents.

He tells Phoenix he’ll do anything to get a guilty verdict, yet he warns the defense that his witness’s testimony will be considered infallible, prompting the player (Phoenix) to dissect the following testimonies with more care.

He tells Phoenix not to expect any special treatment from him, yet his very presence in the defendant’s lobby is in direct opposition to his respected mentor’s wishes.

It takes just one appearance from Phoenix for the filaments of von Karma’s indoctrination to unravel. 4 years into his career, Edgeworth has met many attorneys—most notably, Mia Fey—who embody Phoenix’s faith in his clients, yet none could shake his foundations like Phoenix Wright.

Edgeworth may have not been ready to turn a new leaf upon his first encounter with Phoenix, but the fact that a loose thread from his childhood (that’s emblematic of his innocence, his dreams, and dare I say his father’s drive) ultimately leads to his unraveling is poetry if I’ve ever seen it.

TL;DR Phoenix deconstructs Edgeworth like he was born to do so. The moment Phoenix decided to chase after him, Edgeworth had already lost.

[sarshles-cheescake-li]

Some fun translation facts about Yingdu...

-Xia Fei doesn't necessarily call Vein "warm-hearted." “热心肠" doesn't mean warm-hearted, as in compassionate. It's based on 热心, or passionate. You use it for someone who's helpful, whom you can expect to speak up for people, but not necessarily someone who's "warm." It's more a comment on someone's willingness to get involved in other people's business than their kindness.

-Laoban (老板) is a pretty common way for employees to refer to their bosses. Distinctive from surname-laoban (e.g. Li-laoban), since surnames are usually used if 1. you need to distinguish between several superiors, 2. you're trying to appeal to someone (aka basically talking them up), or 3. you're on somewhat-equal ground with the person, socially, and using it literally because they're the boss of a company. Other terms like -xiansheng (先生)/-nüshi (女士)depending on the person's gender) and -zong (总) may also be used, but laoban (without a surname) is the most "casual" without being informal. Informally, you might use surname-ge (哥)/jie (姐) (common between people of similar ages with an authority/respect gradient, sometimes used casually between friends for an older person), lao (老)-surname (more common the older you get, typically for seniority or generation gaps, but some older folks will use it universally for their friends who are around the same age), dage (大哥)/dajie (大姐) (implies a more familial relationship, but not as explicitly as gege (哥哥) or jiejie(姐姐)). In short: Xia Fei's "laoban," in terms of word choice, is pretty normal socially -- unlike in English where "boss" is kinda a weird term to call someone as their default name. What makes it silly is the fact that he uses it very informally.

-Cheng Xiaoshi calling people 帅哥 (hottie) isn't exactly correct. The shuaige/meinü (美女) (handsome man/beautiful woman) combo is just a pretty common compliment to give someone. It doesn't have to actually imply attraction, and it is often more of a "wow, this person's conventionally attractive" thing. Of course, I'm not saying that that is exactly how Cheng Xiaoshi meant it -- with that tone and context, it could go either way.

-Same logic applies to 美少年 (handsome young man), except it has far more of a teasing/ironic implication, especially when preceded by 美少女 (beautiful young woman). So far as I can tell, 美少年 kind of refers to the same kind of vibe and appearance as… a twink, just without the queer undertones. The bi-coding of that scene would actually require a second layer of linguistic irony that's kind of difficult to explain, although, rest assured, there is still a pretty bi way of reading it.

-Xia Fei's contact name for Liu Xiao means "client who doesn't mind his own business/is nosy/bothers me with a lot of things/is hard to please" or that general vibe. Basically, annoying, but very specifically the high-maintenance flavour of annoying.

-When Vein tells Xia Fei to "脾气收敛点" (or, well, Xia Fei promises to do so) as in to control his temper, the 脾气 he uses doesn't exactly mean temper, in the sense of anger. It's more of how thick your skin is, or how tolerant you are of bs (although it's also dependent on context). In the context of Xia Fei using it, it comes closer to "stop being so impulsive and reacting to people who don't need reacting to." So, more like "control yourself." Notably, 脾气 can also refer to when someone's whining. Like, if my roommate is acting all annoyed at me because I called potatoes ugly (they are extraordinarily ugly), I might say to her “发什么脾气呢" (what are you throwing a fuss about) as a joke.

Another fun fact: some nicknames for the Yingdu trio on Lofter are 鸟木哥, based on ���, 非文哥, based on 斐 (both of these are deconstructions of their names), and 静脉哥, based the Mandarin term for Vein, as in the blood vessel.

English internet: I'm going to shorten this six-letter long name into two letters so it's easier to type.

Chinese internet: I'm going to lengthen this two-character name into three characters so it's funnier to type.

[euniexenoblade]

Favorite Music of 2024

You've been beaten over the head with every music reviewer's best of 2024 lists, so I'm not going to make this super long or robust. My top ten list, though it may have some surprises, will not be that shocking. But, I do hope that somewhere in this post you discover something new. There's a lot of music out there, be open minded and try new stuff.

That all said, here's my top ten releases of 2024:

10 - She Reaches Out to She Reaches Out to She by Chelsea Wolfe

When I first heard this back in February I was pretty disappointed. I'm a huge fan of Wolfe, her album Apokalypsis is tied for my favorite album of all time, but as she's gotten away from the sound of that album, I've become less and less interested in her work. The more she gets into doom metal and adjacent genres, the more I feel like her work isn't as original or as interesting as when she was a nobody ethereal wave goth rock musician. Her team up with Converge for Bloodmoon I did sort of refute this though, showing that Wolfe is definitely great in these intense metal genres.

When I first heard She Reaches Out I was surprised it didn't channel the sludge metal of Bloodmoon or the doom concepts of Hiss Spun. I didn't feel as captivated as I had with her previous works. But, as time went on, I would find myself coming back to She Reaches Out, and with each new listen I found myself noticing little things I hadn't before. Ultimately, this was an album I had rejected for not being what I wanted it to be, instead of actually listening to what it has to offer. Frankly, this is probably one of Wolfe's best albums. If you've never listened to her work, this is probably a very good place to start, it's easy to listen to and at 42 minutes it doesn't overstay it's welcome.

Favorite Songs: Dusk, House of Self-Undoing & The Liminal

09 - TANGK by Idles

Much like the previous album, Tangk took some time for me to appreciate - and seeing Idles perform the majority of it live helped tremendously. Idles being this 'leftist punk band that's also not a punk band and makes songs I have a hard time describing to people' have put out so many intense, intelligent, silly, complex albums that coming into Tangk it feels almost like a slowdown. Compared to Joy As An Act of Resistance or Crawler, this album feels slow, or quieter. And described by members as songs about love, it just feels like there's less going on.

But, as I listened to it more and more you find there's such pretty instrumentation on this album. The piano, the synthesizers, the word play, there's so much here to love. It's not the most hard hitting punk album ever, but it's a fantastic listen. And considering it's my most listened to album of 2024, it has to be included on this list. Idles has succeeded at not being pigeonholed as a "punk band," and it's fantastic.

Favorite Songs: Dancer, Grace & Hall and Oats

08 - I Lay Down My Life For You by JPEGMAFIA

Ok, legit, if you took Jpeg off these tracks and made an instrumental version of the album, it'd be so fucking awesome. I'd listen to it just as much. I adore the music and samples on this album. This album might have the best beats of any hip hop album this year. It's such a good fucking album.

And thankfully, Jpeg is great on top of that music. I'm not the rap expert here, so take my opinions with a grain of salt, but I truly believe that Jpeg is one of the best in rap right now, top 5. Possibly top 3. I don't have much more to say, this album is great beginning to end.

Favorite Songs: Sin miedo, Exmilitary & JPEGUltra!

07 - Chromakopia by Tyler, The Creator

Tyler is easily in the top 3. Yeah, Kendrick's number one, that's fine. But Tyler is absolutely one of the best there is right now. Whether you're getting his insightful deconstruction of himself and others like in his song Take Your Mask Off or you're getting his silly lyrics like in Sticky, Tyler is creating some of the best music and best bars in the industry. Beginning to end Chromakopia is an impressive piece of art. No one else is making music that sounds like Tyler, go listen to him.

Favorite Songs: Take Your Mask Off, Like Him & Thought I Was Dead

06 - Soul Kiss by Frost Children and Haru Nemuri

Haru Nemuri? The Japanese noise pop artist I adore? Collaborating with Frost Children, the indie trans hyperpop duo? What?!

Two totally different artists from two different worlds came together and made an EP that absolutely blew my tits off. Soul Kiss is only 19 minutes long and it's one of the best releases of the year. Please just listen to it.

Favorite Songs: Burn, Bad Thing & Daijoubu Desu

05 - You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To by Knocked Loose

I've heard so god damn much metalcore in my life, and despite a soft spot in for heart for the genre, it's very rare that a band can do something different or new within it. I also would never think to compliment a straight edge album, people in that group tend to have a weird sense of superiority, a holier-than-thou attitude towards everyone else. Yet, sometimes people come out of it being incredibly great people (or at least entertaining).

You Won't Go etc. is an anti-Church album. At times I questioned if Knocked Loose was a Christian band (boooo) but after actually looking at lyrics I realized that I can't actually discern that. The lyrics are definitely anti-Christian Church though. If they are are bunch of Jesus freaks, then they're really digging through their identities of such on this album and questioning what shape their faith takes (or perhaps losing it). It's honestly a nice theme that's thoroughly embedded in the album. It doesn't feel preachy or annoying, but angry and introspective.

And, of course, all this information is just toppings for the beauty of the music. This goes hard, full of interesting riffs, great vocals (none of them clean, by the way), and it sounds magnificent. It's actually really short too, so easy to digest.

Favorite Songs: Suffocate (featuring Poppy), Sit and Mourn & Don't Reach for Me

04 - “NO TITLE AS OF 13 FEBRUARY 2024 28,340 DEAD” by Godspeed You! Black Emperor

It's no surprise that GY!BE would make one of the best albums of the year, they're post rock legends by this point. The surprise is that they're great people who want to bring attention to the genocide in Palestine.

For many decades the people of Palestine have been under a brutal assault by the Israeli government. At the time of the new GY!BE the death toll was 28,340 - mostly children; a year later and the death toll is a staggering 45,936 - mostly children, mostly civilians. You can not call yourself an anarchist or a communist or a "leftist" or "anti-war" and support Israel's actions. Even now with a ceasefire, Israel continues to kill the innocent.

Help out if you can, plenty of people need help. Maybe check out the aforementioned album if you're a fan of post rock.

Favorite Songs: Raindrops Cast in Lead, Pale Spectator Takes Photographs & Babies in a Thundercloud

03 - Laughingfish by Black Dresses

Anyone that knows me or has paid attention to any of my 'best of the year' lists would have seen this coming. Black Dresses is one of my all-time favorite groups and I love all their work. And since this is supposedly their final hurrah, the girls apparently breaking up and ending the project (for the second or third time so who knows I guess), this album feels especially raw, aggressive, sad, and melancholic.

If you've never listened to Black Dresses before, please go do it. Whether this album or another. They were a trans woman duo that made some of the best electro-industrial music ever and if that genre interests you then you'll adore their whole discography.

Favorite Songs: It's Probably Fine, Zero Fantasy & Wounded Animal

02 - GNX by Kendrick Lamar

You knew it was on this list somewhere.

2024 was definitely the year of Kendrick Lamar. GNX doesn't hit the incredible heights of To Pimp a Butterfly, but it's catchy and entertaining. There's nothing I can say about this album that hasn't been said by a million music reviewers, so I'm just gonna be shallow. It sounds good. Squabble Up and TV Off are fun and Luther is phenomenal. I love the way SZA and Lamar duet on Luther, it sounds beautiful. The only real negative I can think of is that the music to the titular GNX is dogshit. Like, he had to know it's dogshit, so I'm sure it's a decision he made on purpose for some reason, but the art of it is lost on me. Honestly, my hate for that beat is the only thing putting this at number two. GNX is probably the spiritual album of the year. Probably.

Favorite Songs: Squabble Up, Luther & TV Off

01 - Monarch of Monsters by Vylet Pony

OK WAIT BEFORE YOU JUST SCROLL PAST ROLLING YOUR EYES

Yes, Vylet is the trans lesbian MLP edm and synthpop musician. Yes, she makes brony music (pegasister music?). But this album is so much more than that. Abandoning her usual style of edm or synthpop, she instead has created a marvelous alternative rock album (I've seen it both described as noise rock and progressive rock, both are true) with the lyrical equivalent of an existential crisis.

If you're unfamiliar with Vylet's work (that's fair), she often writes up these albums with intense lore and characters, there's an entire fan wiki just to keep track of all her works and their characters and lore. But, all of that pales in comparison to Monarch of Monsters, it literally comes with a novella when you buy it on bandcamp. There's no easy way to explain this album, it's topic matter spans from trauma, to suicide, to love, the zoomed out look at it being that the traumatized can themselves become the abuser, or at the least grow into something they hate to see in the mirror. All this over music that seems inspired by Swans, Black Country New Road, and The Mars Volta. From power pop songs that you can dance to, to the 22 minute Sludge that feels so depressing, overwhelming, dark, suffocating you with it's sorrow (a good thing, somehow) - the song equivalent of an inescapable dread.

This album is outstanding, and it feels nice to put such an underrated artist on this pedestal so more people might listen to her. There was no other album like Monarch of Monsters this past year, hell there has been no album like this in the 2020s so far. Please give it a try. Brony music can be good sometimes (I am now tarred and feathered).

Favorite Songs: The Heretic (Woe is Me), Sludge, & Pest

For my full top 50 list, click the read more.

Monarch of Monsters by Vylet Pony

GNX by Kendrick Lamar

Laughingfish by Black Dresses

"No Title as of 13 February 2024 28,340 Dead" by Godspeed You! Black Emperor

You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To by Knocked Loose

Soul Kiss by Frost Children & Haru Nemuri

Chromakopia by Tyler, The Creator

I Lay Down My Life For You by Jpegmafia

Tangk by IDLES

She Reaches Out to She Reaches Out by Chelsea Wolfe

Songs of a Lost World by The Cure

The New Sound by Geordie Greep

No Name by Jack White

Bright Future by Adrianne Lenker

A Lonely Sinner by Samlrc

Where Do the Butterflies Go by Dude Central

Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation

SMILE! :D by Porter Robinson

Imaginal Disk by Magdalena Bay

13" Frank Beltrame Italian Stiletto With Bison Horn Grips by Xiu Xiu

I Saw the TV Glow OST

This Ain't the Way You Go Out by Lucy Rose

Sky Hundred by Parannoul

Brat by Charli XCX

Night Palace by Mount Eerie

Everything is Longing by Sonagi

No Hands by Joey Valence & Brae

Assembling Symbols Into My Own Poetry by Alice Longyu Gao

Hotel la Rut by Joanna Wang

For the Rest of Your Life by twikipedia

Scattersun by Fax Gang & Parannoul

Shinbangumi by Ginger Root

Bando Stone and the New World by Childish Gambino

Girl With No Face by Allie X

Digital Nightmare by TWRP

未成線上 by Ai Higuchi

Negative Spaces by Poppy

シューティング スター (Shooting Star) by Various Artists (Hello!Project tribute)

Praegustator by Kid Dakota

放生会 by Sheena Ringo

Unbound by Chelsea Wolfe

The Great American Bar Scene by Zach Bryan

Fission by Dead Poet Society

Moonbow by The Fever Haze

Concrete Jungle (The OST) by Bad Omens

Slash-&-Burn by Daoko

Bucchigiri Tokyo by Hanabie.

Lost Corner by Kenshi Yonezu

High School Musical by Crystal Tea

Hole In My Head by Laura Jane Grace

[drchucktingle]

DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #1

hello buckaroos chuck tingle here to talk on my book camp damascus. i am very ADVERSE to spoilers and even though i LOVE discussing art i never want to discuss a book too soon, gotta give buckaroos a chance to read. i have been trying to find a balance of WHEN and HOW to have these talks because there is a lot to discover in camp damascus, and i finally think i have found safe way to do this.

i am going to write some posts talkin about various subjects relating to camp damascus themes and symbols and ideas. i will title these posts DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS and give them all the hashtag: "deconstructing damascus". if you do not want to be tempted you can go into your tumblr settings and MUTE hashtag "deconstructing damascus" until you are ready to come back and trot in this way.

i am also going to put all spoiler content below a READ MORE line so that buckaroos will not stumble upon it. you must click below to open these words up.

(EDIT: PART 2 IS HERE)

(EDIT: PART 3 IS HERE)

(EDIT: PART 4 IS HERE)

alright buckaroos lets trot. WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW

DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #1: NEVERLAND

camp damascus is about SEVERAL things thematically, but i think in BROAD STROKES you can narrow this story down to two ideas. the first is about control through infantilizing victims of religious or conservative organizations, keeping them 'young and naive' forever, and the second theme is about taking a story and using the same text to pull out whatever viewpoint you want. in other words, there are MANY readings within a story and us readers see whatever story we want.

i will dive deeper into these topics in later DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS talks, but both of these concepts relate in some way to THIS discussion, which is the story of peter pan and neverland

camp damascus is about text having many interpretations, and so as a sort of META ART PIECE i wanted camp damascus to have many interpretations. i did this by creating thematic layers on top of each other in the SAME STORY, like a cake. in the case of camp damascus we have BIBLICAL LAYER, FAIRYTALE LAYER, and LITERAL LAYER.

today we are going to talk about the fairytale layer.

peter pan is the story of wendy darling, who is whisked away to a magical place known as NEVER NEVER LAND by peter pan, who is an eternally young boy. nobody ever grows up in never never land. in camp damascus we have rose darling, who is a resident of neverton, a small town in montana where all of to children are kept young and naive to their own true adult nature for as long possible. this is done in many ways, for instance all of the KINGDOM OF THE PINE kids act and talk like teenagers when they are technically adults (rose is 20). they are all still in high school due to intervention of the church. the practice of oppressing someones natural sexuality and growth into adulthood a way of keeping them young and 'innocent'. the KINGDOM KIDS are perpetually stuck between childhood and adulthood. when you are reading the book, there should be something about this age and behavior discrepancy that feels a little strange.

to capture this effect i also tried to create a book that was both categorically YA (young adult) and adult horror. there are topics and conversations and situations that should feel like you are reading a 'younger book', then moments of violence and layers of complex themes that feel like an adult book. it should straddle this line in an uncomfortable way.

now to the story itself. camp damascus is NOT a retelling of peter pan in any way. the plots are not the same at all. however it uses peter pan as a literary allusion in order to discuss the themes listed above. these references are to reinforce the idea of keeping buckaroos young and under the churches control by any means necessary.

many do not realize that the original peter pan character was quite a bit more sinister than the cartoon version. here is a quote from the original text about HOW neverland worked to keep the lost boys young:

“The boys on the island vary, of course, in numbers, according as they get killed and so on; and when they seem to be growing up, which is against the rules, Peter thins them out; but at this time there were six of them, counting the twins as two.”

yes CAPTAIN HOOK is the big villain, but peter pan himself is just as brutal. this is where we get PASTOR PETE BEND, the current head of camp damascus. in his own way he is HIP AND COOL AND ETERNALLY YOUTHFUL just like peter pan, but he also falls into the roll of a ruthless captain who will do whatever it takes. to pull apart his name we have pete, as in peter, and bend. what is another word for bend? hook.

kingdom of the pine members wear a red band round their left wrist, which is where the hand of their prophet as severed. you can also note that when pete bend he uses a weapon he uses his left hand, which is pretty notable for someone who is right handed. consider where a certain captains weapon is permanently affixed.

also working for kingdom of the pine and camp damascus, under the direct orders of pete bend, is DR. SMITH. dr smith is a jolly henchmen with a white beard and glasses. despite his drab office he sits in a blue and white striped chair. i should also point out that a version of the name smee is smeeth. just SAYIN.

WILLOW is another interesting one. after her time at camp damascus she gets into photography. she turns to NATURE and TRUTH and as she takes these photos her finger is steady and rhythmic like a clock. click. click. click. click. click. could these photos eventually be the downfall of pete bend?

when we see willow early on she is drinking for a coffee mug with a certain reptile on it. her last name is crogall, which translates to the name of a specific animal in scottish gaelic. rose also goes to meet willow where she lives, one town over from neverton in a little village named lebka rock. i will let the buckaroos figure out what that means.

there is actually much more than this (who is saul for instance?) but i think i have said all that buds need to know to enjoy this layer.

thank you for reading. FEEL FREE TO REBLOG but try not to put spoilers in the tags. i will talk on OTHER aspects of CAMP DAMASCUS soon and i hope this has inspired you to look at the text in a brand new way. LOVE IS REAL

[iriemorning]

the false oddities of the heart and mind

it’s not heart versus mind. it never was.

we talk about them like opposing forces, like rivals constantly at war. like one has to win, like one has to be sacrificed. but that’s never how it works, not really. i feel things first—raw, untamed, gut-deep. then my mind steps in, not to fight, not to contradict, but to interpret, to organize the chaos into something i can understand.

they have separate functions. one gathers the data, the other makes sense of it. one moves, the other maps. it's not about one being stronger than the other. both exist because they have to, because they complete the circuit.

a magnet needs both positive and negative poles to work. electricity needs both currents. the tides need the push and pull of the moon. why should we be any different?

we are not made to choose between feeling and thinking. we are meant to let them dance around the halls of our lives, as it takes two to tango.

[mysterystarz]

just keep falling for

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x g!n reader

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, boatload of an oblivious but perceptive reader, kuroo really doesn’t know how to get the obvious out and reader cannot really tell him they know what he means

notes: rewatching hq and i literally fell in love w everyone again — dedicated to all kuroo fans, not proofread at all

also i haven’t written in so long so my style is all over the place so pls critique me and also my hand slipped

reblogs and opinions are appreciated <3

kuroo was taking an awfully long time in the locker room.

standing in the gym, you watched as the first years helped with deconstructing the volleyball nets for the day. while you offered your help, they politely declined, suggesting you wait to accompany their captain out to advertise their great work.

normally, kuroo was quick. any jokes that happened inside the locker room were quick to reach your ears, and you knew how much he tried to include you in everything.

you leaned against the wall, watching the clock tick for a whole minute before opting to pace around the gym.

little did you know, kuroo was having a meltdown inside the locker room.

“kuroo!” yaku yelled, brandishing his towel. “you need to get a grip. stop freaking out. you’re supposed to be the composed one!”

“seriously kuroo,” kenma agreed, “why are you acting so surprised. it’s not like this is new news.”

“guys,” kuroo began, raking a finger through his hair, “this messes up everything.”

“is this about y/n?” lev asked, finally entering the locker room. “did kuroo finally do something about that crush?”

“enough!” kuroo sighed, sitting down at one of the benches. in the span of the last ten minutes, kuroo had one of the most dramatic realizations of his life.

he liked you.

you, his best friend and his other half. you, who cheered for him at every game and even lended him cool analogies to use in captains speeches. you, who stole his jacket and ran away from him, leaving him to chase you as far as the two of you could run.

he wasn’t sure what had changed. somehow, you’d entered his head, and with every pump of his heart, you sunk deeper and deeper into his bloodstream.

“did you seriously not know?” yaku asked gently, “because if you ask us, it was obvious from the very start. you hold them in such high regard.”

“i didn’t,” he admitted, turning to meet yaku’s eyes. “i didn’t know and now, i don’t know what to do. we’ve been friends for ages….i don’t even think they see me that way.”

“just tell them kuroo,” kenma said, not looking up from his console. “they like you a lot, they’re not going to say no.”

the team voiced their agreement, and began to file out of the locker room at last.

“sorry to keep you waiting,” he smiled, meeting your gaze as he walked out of the locker room.

“no problem,” you said, returning a grin of your own. “was there something going on in there?”

“nahhhhh,” he laughed, “someone was just having a meltdown about how to do a proper confession.”

“confession?” you rose a brow, and kuroo silently cursed himself for letting such a specific detail slip.

for a moment, you were stunned. as you walked, you considered all the possibilities.

you knew lev had been racking up quite the fanbase through his games, and you also knew how yaku was starting to branch out a bit more. if kenma had a prospective partner, you would’ve already heard of it by now.

unless…unless it was kuroo having the meltdown.

you pondered this detail as you walked out of the school doors, holding them open for your lanky best friend.

“hey dork,” you began, “who are you planning on confessing to? it was your meltdown, right?”

kuroo felt his heart drop in his chest. curse you and your quick connections.

“what makes you think the meltdown was mine?”

“because i would’ve known about everyone else,” you smiled confidently. “you would’ve told me.”

kuroo simply looked at you, distracted by your smile and the way it lit up your eyes. if only he could put it into words.

you had a way of making him nervous.

“i’d tell you details if you stopped smiling at me like that. too bright — it’s hurting my eyes.” he teased.

what he didn’t expect was for you to laugh and immediately drop your smile, transitioning to a serious face.

“tell me now,” you huffed, “i deserve to know who’s on your mind these days.”

he sighed.

if there was one thing worse than your uncanny ability to read his mind, it was the lack of that ability to tell that you were the only person he ever thought about.

kuroo got home, resting his bag on the floor of his room and immediately dialing kenma. he picked up in an instant, and kuroo couldn’t help but be thankful for his setter.

“kenma,” he sighed, “this is like one of your games. impossible.”

“let me guess. y/n didn’t catch a hint?”

“they know it’s me” he groaned, “they know i had the meltdown. they know there’s someone in my head. they keep trying to ask me who it is, but i can’t just say ‘it’s you’ can i?”

“being direct is actually a good idea.” kenma suggested, “go retry that level kuroo. maybe you’ll have some luck this time.”

with that, kenma hung up, leaving kuroo frenzied with an emotion that felt a lot like hope.

sitting and staring out the window, you wondered if now was a good time to acknowledge your growing crush on nekoma’s middle blocker.

he was everything you could ever ask for. thoughtful, sweet, laughably charming, and with a nerdy twist that made him a dork and undeniably your other half.

it didn’t help how handsome he’d become over the years either. he’d gotten taller and taller, his eyes golden and his hair endearingly messy. he was solid from all the days spent practicing, and after every embrace, you were left craving more.

as much as you didn’t want to admit your discomfort, the sensation hovered over you like a fog.

the idea of kuroo having feelings for someone else was bittersweet. you adored him — you really did, and his happiness was yours.

but….you couldn’t help but wish that you could both be happy. that he’d see you the way you’d always seen him.

someone to just keep falling for.

the next morning, kuroo came to grab you from your house for the daily walk to school. he’d made an effort to make sure his tie was on incorrectly in the hopes that you’d fix it for him.

you greeted him at the door, breaking into a grin upon seeing his disheveled state.

“come inside,” you sighed, dragging him by the hand into the foyer. he stood patiently as you reached for his tie, straightening out the edges and meticulously smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt.

“it’s almost like we’re married.” he teased, happy at the flustered expression that shot onto your features. “what? cat got your tongue?”

“shut up tetsu.”

“i don’t want to.” he said, looking into your eyes. he hoped that there was something conveyed in the silent space between you. the tenseness was all but palpable.

“oh.” you whispered, cupping his cheek. “so this is your confession? a messy tie and a lot of cheek.”

“of course,” he smirked, “you’re the only person i’d do that for.”

©mysterystarz all rights reserved, please do not plagiarize, translate, or modify my fics in any way even if credited

[borealing]

i was going a little off about how well the squid game 2 narrative is put together as an act 2 of your classic act 1: establish, act 2: deconstruct, act 3: destroy (either the system or the players) dystopia narrative (in this case the act is a season but e.g. in the hunger games it was books) but unfortunately i was with my parents and cheering when thanos got chin stabbed and to defend (?) myself i said "i promise im not enjoying this as much as it seems like i am. im actually enjoying it more"

[class1akids]

Sorry if you've answered this before but what did you think about Shouto's storyline? Would you say he is well written?

This would take a very long essay, but yes, I think Shouto is overall one of the best written characters in the manga:

Design - he has a unique, memorable design that reflects well what his character is about (his challenge to make somehow a full whole out of two broken halves)

Backstory - Shouto has one of the most complex backstories that ties him to two other important characters and the backstory itself is a reflection of the greater themes. We know more about Shouto's family than about the MC's.

Goal and motivation: Shouto's main arc is about emancipation and a search of identity. He starts the story of wanting to be not-Endeavor, who is a hero, but is the villain in Shouto's story. Shouto's path is set from birth to become a great hero, and it's difficult for Shouto to learn to want the things that Endeavor wants for him, and to understand he can do it in his way and for his own reasons.

Flaws: Shouto has relatable flaws - both big and small that are linked to his backstory. He can seem aimless, groundless, indecisive because he has little sense of self. He's blunt, and rude even sometimes, he's cold and dismissive as he's entrenched in negative emotions. Once his initial edginess is melted away, new flaws surface: he's clueless because he grew up isolated.

Strengths and weaknesses: Shouto's biggest strength and weakness is his genetically engineered perfect quirk and the brutal training regiment he was under since childhood. The early training both gives him an edge, and also a huge disadvantage in the form of PTSD, entrenched bad habits - making Shouto's challenge to be able to grow both mentally and to conquer and understand his quirk.

Journey: Shouto has one of the best quirk development arcs in the series as mastering his moves and all his upgrades are firmly tied to reconnecting with a family member or hitting a milestone in his healing. In Act 1, he reconnects with Rei and masters fire. Act 2 is about his relationship with Enji and culminates in flashfire. Act 3 is about Touya and peaks in Phosphor - Shouto's biggest move - that is a perfect culmination of the family history, journey, both good and bad and Shouto synthetizing everything and affirming himself as not-Endeavor.

Connection to the wider themes: Shouto is an anchor character. He anchors Class A to the pro hero world. And he anchors the Todoroki family plot to the main Deku - All Might (OFA/AFO) plotline as an Origin character. So Shouto's search for his identity both as hero and as a person, is also a meaningful exploration of the entire Symbol of Peace deconstruction.

Shouto is also a balance character: the theme of heroes who can save both families and strangers, ice and fire, left and right - you get it.

Network of power: Shouto is the earliest example of a big Deku save that results in a short-term loss, but then his power-up pays off in that Shouto comes and saves Iida - someone Deku couldn't have saved alone. So it's an early manifestation and validation of the theme of reaching out.

Rich and varied relationships: Shouto has well-written interactions with all of his family members, especially with Endeavor and Touya, but is also a key character in Class A. He's got a strong friendship with Deku, a dynamic relationship with Bakugou with also interesting interplays of the Todofam and BKDK plotlines, a really underappreciated, but extremely well-written friendship with Iida centered around bad vs good legacies, emotional support, and a circle of inspiration. Shouto has good, meaningful moments also with a number of other characters: Momo, Kirishima, Sero, Inasa, Tetsu just to mention a few.

These all add to a pretty deep and rich character who feels very human and empathic with a rich storyline that's deeply embedded into the story.

[lostboiking30]

Some night time thoughts while I’m sick in bed with Covid.

I want to preface this by saying that I have been aware of Wicked since 2004 and was active in the fandom between 2005-2009. I never watched the musical live(I know what happens tho-thank you for the slime tutorials), I read the book in like 2006 and I listened to the obc obsessively. However, I did fall out of the fandom maybe around 2010 and Wicked became less centralized in my life as I got older. Before I saw the movie, I hadn’t listened to the soundtrack for about 5 years. So it’s been awhile, but needless to say, I *adored* the movie.

I’m gonna be talking about some stuff in act 2 so if you are only familiar with the film, there are 🩷✨SPOILERS✨💚 below.

I’ve been active in a lot of discourse over Glinda being a “villain” in Wicked over on Threads and a lot of people are big mad about this take. And a lot of what I am seeing is that

1) people are assuming that folks who take this stance have only seen part 1

2) defending Glinda because they see themselves as her

3) are assuming that people calling Glinda a villain are simply being reductive and not seeing the nuances in her character arc.

On a related note—I find interesting is that everyone seems to be in agreement about who the “Wicked” one is in “No One Mourns The Wicked”

Now back in the early aughts when I was a teenager, I was admittedly more focused on Elphaba and Glinda’s romance than I was either of their characters, but at the time, I hadn’t seen the play, so all I had to go off of was the book and the OBC and as much as I enjoyed the book, the musical seemed more my speed because of how whimsical it sounded, which was more in line with my hopeless romantic heart that just wanted Glinda to get on the broom with Elphaba and forget about everything and fly off to their happily ever after.

Well…fast forward 2 decades later. I’m 33 now and within the last two decades, one of those decades has been spent in therapy after realizing that I was trans masculine, neurodivergent, and traumatized not just by the shit that happened in my family, but by the near constant political and social disasters we have all collectively been a part of for the last 10 years. The decolonization, deconstruction and radicalization I’ve experienced truly changed the lens on this story and the impact it’s had on me.

Watching Glinda in the first part of the movie was fascinating and entertaining because of how smart her character is. Someone described her as Machiavellian and at first I thought maybe that was giving Glinda too much credit, but the more I think about it, the more I think I agree.

Ariana Grande understands Glinda and played her so well and I saw that the second she appeared on screen.

Glindas performative “goodness” has always been present but it felt more tangible to me watching this film…and it left a bad taste in my mouth (yay for great acting!) because I have known people like her.

On the other hand, Cynthia Erivo’s Elphaba felt so authentic that I couldn’t help but fall in love with her again. This Elphaba was soft, kind, loyal, empathetic, naive, and unwavering. And because I had just gotten into a big fight with a friend who had called me naive and emotional, well I couldn’t help but feel connected to her again.

When i referred to Glinda as a villain, one person replied “wait til act 2. Listen to ‘No Good Deed’ Elphaba wasn’t all good either” and I thought that was such an odd thing because Elphaba didn’t do things with the intent to harm. She was trying to save her friends. She is actively gaslighting herself in “No Good Deed” with all the things others have always said to her.

Elphaba later admits she’s limited and can’t do the things Glinda that Glinda could do, even though Elphaba is literally one of the most powerful witches in Oz. She wasn’t limited. Her ambition lied outside of herself and her desire to help the Animals. She was tired.

And after spending years doing social justice work, the number one thing I learned, especially during the pandemic, was that this isn’t work one can do alone. It’s a community based effort. Organizing is hard work.

Glinda, on the other hand, was self ambitious, and even though she was slowly beginning to unravel and figure things out, it took her losing almost everything she wanted (her freedom, Elphaba and Fiyero) to figure out she had to change. Similarly to the dance scene in act 1. If Morrible hadn’t given her the wand and told her what Elphaba said, I do not think she would have been as compelled to enter the dance floor.

So here’s the thing. I *LOVE* Glinda. But I hate her. She is so complex for all the wrong reasons, and I know that as someone who is marginalized in different ways, I cannot be friends with someone who aligns themselves as Glinda does. And it’s fucking heartbreaking.

That’s the whole point of Defying Gravity. Elphaba and Glinda cannot continue together past that point.

But they changed some things in the movie. Hearing what Morrible said about Elphie at the beginning of DG, accepting Morrible’s embrace and listening to Oz’ guards yell “kill her” should have been glaring warning signs. Yet Glinda still chose to side with them and uphold the wizards tyrannical regime. Not to mention that Glinda’s decision to help the wizard and Morrible led to the chain of events in act 2. Glinda’s not a good person, even if she felt remorse later on.

And don’t even get me started on Fiyero. Like I get why he became part of the guard but the whole working from within the system is fucked too. I also hated that they never told Glinda.

So yeah. This was a really long winded way of saying that I think movie wicked and stage wicked reflect different moments in time and movie wicked is more appropriate for today’s mainstream audiences. I think Elphaba being played by a Black Woman had a huge impact on how she was played and received. I love that Cynthia Erivo advocated to make her Elphie represent a woman of color and that she included inner child and ancestor work into the character.

Ariana Grande knows the in and outs of Glinda and plays her as authentically as possible. And knowing how much the actors love each other irl really solidified how much I believe Elphaba and Glinda love each other.

I spent way too long on this and it’s all over the place but I’m posting it.

Engage, discuss, and divulge in a respectful manner please. Wicked is very near and dear to my heart.

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

Want You Back | ateez x reader

Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader

Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?

Warnings for this chapter: none

Word Count: 2702 words

a/n: hello!! so I was able to edit a lot today. :') I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by Sunday! Let me know what you think about this chapter, I would love to hear your thoughts on this one! Happy reading! <3

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Chapter 4

You felt off all day.

It was something you couldn’t explain. Out of nowhere that morning, you woke up with a slight headache and a sudden uneasy feeling that refused to go away until late in the afternoon. It was Friday, and you decided to close early due to your bizarre state. You planned a night-in with some warm tea, hearty soup and a marathon of a new series you started. 

Currently, while finishing up cleaning the tables and organising the chairs, you paid no attention to anything and swayed mindlessly to the soft music in your headphones with the fresh scent of lavender filling the room which you were using to wipe the tables down. Your friends had already left for the evening and the skyline of Seoul provided a composed and serene atmosphere, one which you were very grateful for at this time. 

You pondered the cause for your sudden headache and a spike in anxiety. Werewolves rarely got sick, the main reason may be because of exhaustion, but as far as you could recall, you weren’t over-exerting or pushing yourself too hard. While the beginning of your journey was far from effortless, you paced yourself when it came to facing challenges. Because you knew if you overworked yourself, especially since you were still recovering at the time, Jisung wouldn’t hesitate to tell Chan and Minho. You could handle Chan but you were afraid of an angry Minho. 

As you continued to lose yourself in your thoughts and music, you didn't hear the bell of your cafe ring. However, you felt your emotions suddenly shift and there was a rapid electric rush through your body. Following it was a pull you knew all too well.

It couldn’t be?

You spun around and halted at the figure in front of you. He was still slightly dripping wet, his hair damp and his clothes stuck to him but his face glowed beautifully. His eyes sparkled and he panted with a slight smile beginning to form as he looked at you in awe and admiration. 

Song Mingi, your soulmate, and one of the loves of your life stood in front of you in the flesh. It had been six months since you last saw him and the last time you saw him was during the worst times of your life, one that took a lot of therapy to start unpacking. Luckily, Chan knew someone who helped you immensely in deconstructing all the walls you had built. 

You thought a lot about this moment, coming face to face with one of your soulmates and unravelling all the feelings and emotions that had been buried inside you for so long. There were times when you wracked your brain with so many different scenarios, playing out what you would say, how you would act and your responses when they responded. You hoped to prepare yourself for the imminent confrontation but truthfully, you were far from well-prepared.

As Mingi approached you cautiously, you were stumped. So many questions began to flood your mind. What are you supposed to do? Should you be aloof and standoffish? Should you start yelling? Should you run away, let Chan handle it and never look back? 

The main question you had was, did you harbour any hate towards Mingi? Hate was a very strong word and you couldn’t begin to fathom hating one of your mates. Yes, you were hurt, angry and disappointed in them but part of you didn’t want to throw in the towel just yet. If there was any possibility for reconciliation, you were willing to try, albeit you wouldn’t go easy on them.

Something you learnt in therapy was that relationships are a work in progress. It’ll never be perfect like you were told growing up and it didn’t necessarily have to be set in stone with you not having a choice about it. You did in fact have a choice, and while you still believed fate had a role in bringing people together, a real relationship requires showing up, learning from mistakes, taking accountability and trying again if both parties truly care for each other. If not, you knew you had to face the harsh reality of walking away even if it broke you.

You wanted to make it work with your soulmates, and Mingi was the one out of your eight mates who you were closest to after Hongjoong. He was the second one you had bonded with and spent a lot of time together before meeting everyone else. You would describe him as your tall alpha with a soft heart and sweet personality. He wore his heart on his sleeve, he’s a tenderheart and big softie who would seek you out to share his snacks with because he didn't like to eat alone. He struggled with his self-esteem because being the middle child had him being forgotten a lot. You were there along with the boys to give him comfort and show him his worth. Song Mingi is the tenderest, sweetest and softest person out of the entire pack. 

"Mingi..." you murmured.

"Y-Y/N..." his voice broke out in a raspy tone.

The moment he spoke snapped you out of your daze. You just wanted to hug him, embrace him and feel his warmth again. As your finger grazed his hand, he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, stroking your hair and kissing the top of your head repeatedly. 

"It's you! It's really you!" He cried.

That’s all it took for you to break your facade and you broke down in his embrace, sniffles and sobs racking your body. Mingi just pulled you closer.

"Don't cry, don't cry angel. I know I have a lot to apologise for. I-I can't even b-begin to explain it. There are no e-excuses for my actions. I'll make it up to y-you. No matter what, I won't ever hurt you like that again."

You felt the sincerity in his words. You knew he was being sincerely honest. You weren't ready to forgive him - you both still had to have a proper conversation about everything. But for now, you wanted to have this moment with him, after so long you finally had your Mingi again. 

It took a while to peel Mingi off you because he kept refusing. He was taller than you and much stronger so it took a lot of convincing that you weren’t going to vanish into thin air once he let you go. He wouldn't even sit if you didn't. When you placed him in a chair and moved away to give him a blanket, some tea and maybe a change of clothes, he bolted upright and grabbed your hand, holding onto it for dear life. 

Your apartment was right above the café. You had a few oversized jerseys in your closet as you were currently experimenting with your style that could fit him but it seemed to be futile on retrieving anything.

Mingi refused to part with you so instead he followed you foot to foot behind the counter as you pulled out one of the blankets from under the counter that you had for safekeeping for the colder days. He stood close by as you made him some tea.

Suddenly, your phone went off signalling a message. Mingi was confused by the sound and intrigued by the device you pulled out of your pocket. As you quickly checked to see who it was, Mingi quickly snatched it from you to see what it was.

"Hey—Mingi!" 

Your shouts went unanswered as Mingi stared at the screen. He was confused by the interface. Who is Jisung? Somehow he exited out of that app and managed to click on Instagram. Your profile was the first page when he opened the app and his brows pinched in even more confusion.

"Is that you?" he asked

You tried to get your phone back so you could explain things to him but Mingi is taller than you.

He pressed on the picture with you and Chan. It was a harmless picture that was taken during Chan’s birthday party with the two of you posing with big smiles as you both leaned against the kitchen counter watching Seungmin and Hyunjin fight over something. Your caption was simple: Happy birthday to my best friend. However, Mingi’s instincts kicked in seeing the two of you standing in close proximity. He felt a low growl wanting to erupt from his throat, his protective senses coming in. But he noticed your smile. You hadn't smiled like that in a long time. It was only with them and the last time was probably when…he couldn’t remember the last time.

You were able to grab back your phone after accidentally stepping on his foot. 

“Ow!” he cried.

“Finally.” you sighed.

"Who is that?" You could hear the pain that was evident in his voice. Even if you did want to be cold towards him, you didn’t have the heart to. It was difficult to remain aloof.

"He's my friend," you answered, "His name is Chan and he was the one who found me in the lake and brought me back with him."

"The lake? You came through the lake?”

You nodded, “Yeah, I don’t know how, all I remember is jumping in and then everything went dark. Then next thing I knew I was here.”

“That's why we couldn't find you. You were in this realm all the time?"

You hummed and nodded.

"Yeah, I…I didn't want to come home…” you stuttered, “I-I couldn't..." you trailed off.

Truth be told, you weren’t 100% certain what to expect from Mingi. There was so much heaviness weighing on your shoulders and in the air, that you couldn’t read what was going through Mingi’s mind or predict his next move.

Was he going to snap at you, ridicule you or berate you?

Mingi felt your uncertainty as the spark of your bond started to drop and he brought you into an immediate hug. 

"I can't blame you,” he started, “We left you with a lot of broken promises, we didn't take care of you like we are supposed to. It hurts to hear that you didn’t want to come back to us but…you were also hurting a lot more than we were."

You didn’t realise the tears cascading down your face. For so long, you just wanted to be heard, understood and comforted. 

"Mingi, we have to talk about all that…”

“Let’s talk now then. At least cover some bases?”

You agreed and brought the tea to a table in the far corner away from the window. You sat opposite Mingi with great effort as he was still uneasy not being able to feel your touch, you saw the way he never took his eyes off you. 

You cleared your throat holding the teacup securely in your hand.

“First of all, I’m really, really, really, really sorry for not realising sooner the damage we were doing to you. I know an apology isn’t even enough. The fact that it had to take you being separated from us, for us to recognise the severity is inexcusable.” he began.

You listened intently, anxious at what he had to say.

“When I discovered how damaged our bond became, it felt like an entire collapse of my world. I don’t even know how to explain it, it was as if the one thing that kept me going was stripped away and I was operating on autopilot with no clear way ahead,” he paused, “My birthday wasn’t the same. It wasn’t a celebration, there was more grief than anything. I always told you how much you meant to me and you going missing showed me just how important you are to me Y/N. You’re my entire world and I can’t bear the thought of living without you. I hate it and I don’t want to live like that. I should have noticed my treatment towards you, I should have told the boys, I should have supported you and been there for you. I’m so sorry for failing you.”

“Mingi…”

“Hit me, yell at me, tell me as it is. Don’t hold back Y/N but please…don’t give up on me. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.” 

“I…I appreciate your honesty Mingi. You seem to be sincere. I thought I would never be understood. It felt like I was drowning in a sea of my feelings. Everyday I prayed one of you would wrap your arms around me and end the nightmare I was living in. All my life…I was taught how to be a perfect mate and to consider your mate as your whole world, but when your mate forgets you, your world falls apart and you’re left stranded in a dark void with no real direction to follow. When I was running from those rogues, it came to my mind that you all were on the other side of town with Lila…”

Mingi grimaced at that realisation. You were in danger and they were so far away from you. He held your hands that were still wrapped around the teacup, rubbing soothing circles to comfort and help you gather your thoughts.

“I always thought it was my fault,” you cried, “I wanted to call out for you through the bond but I couldn’t even focus. I felt like a failure, I thought I failed at being a Luna, and so many questions plagued my mind every day and night. What does Lila have that I don’t? Why am I always a second choice? Why does Mrs Kim hate me? What’s wrong with me?”

Your voice broke as you spoke. Mingi wanted to kick himself for doing this to you. He finally saw the way you had been broken. You questioned your self worth, they made you question your worthiness. You didn’t know how you were so important, you were a precious gem to him, you were priceless. 

“Nothing’s wrong you angel, if anything, something is clearly wrong with the rest of us because we’re plain idiots for making you think you’re unworthy. You deserved to be loved, adored and respected.” he answered.

“It hurts Mingi. All I ever wanted was to be someone's favourite person growing up. I wanted to be the one, you could come to for anything. I wanted to help in any way I could. I just wanted to be loved.”

“And you are loved, my love. I love you so deeply and truly, I really do. I will never let you feel that way again. As long as I live, you’d be showered unconditionally with love and respect.”

You closed your eyes and regulated your breathing to compose yourself. 

“I’m willing to work things out Mingi. But you should know, I’m not sure if I trust you right now. So many thoughts come in, what if it happens again? What if -”

“It won’t. It will never happen again, angel. I know that seems like an empty promise. But it isn't! I promise you, I will make you trust me again.” 

You looked at Mingi with some uncertainty. You never considered love would be like this, you always thought it would be easy. You didn’t know what was going to happen next but at least for now, this was a start.

“Tiny steps. Let’s take tiny steps then. I’ll introduce you to Chan tomorrow, he’ll help you get in contact with the others. Let them know you’re safe.”

Even after all the hurt they gave you, Mingi was in awe at the way you cared so deeply for them.

“Let’s head upstairs,” you said tiredly.

As you both made your way to the apartment, Mingi thought about everything. It pained him deeply to know the hurt they caused you. He made a silent promise to himself that he’ll be better for you. 

That night, he couldn’t sleep. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him and you deserve unconditional and unwavering love. In no way, shape or form were you ever a second choice. You could never be second - you were and will always be first. 

He’ll make things right again. He promised.

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Tag list: @eastleighsblog , @sehun096rainbow

[modeus-the-misanthrope]

Damsel feels like the specific Vessel that all the others would refrain from being cruel or mean towards. Like she is at least on neutral grounds with every last one of them. Let's go over the Vessels from most to least "Hostile" lets go in order. (I am leaving out Chapter 3's that are mostly unchanged from their Chapter 2 form, such as Eye of needle and Den)

-Hostile initially-

Fury would see Damsel as something...off. The bottom of her dress soaked in blood, as she sits on a random tumor sticking up from the ground and smiles up at her. Fury would not want to test her.

Beast would react to Damsel the same way a lioness reacts to a baby wildebeast that doesn't run, but instead nuzzles up to her. With confusion and hesitation. She wouldn't know what to do with someone so, unafraid.

Wraith would simply not interect with her, prefering to brood angrily alone. Damsel's very presence would make Wraith recall her happier days, and hurt her.

Nightmare would get no thrill out of hurting someone who doesn't even consider fighting back or being afraid. She would grow bored and apethetic to Damsel very quickly. Treating her more akin to a potted plant than a conversation partner from then on.

Witch would be bewildered by someone like Damsel, someone soo genuine. She would see this easily betrayable vessel and feel a form of sympathy for her. Being like a cool older cousin that looks out for you while also teaching you new swear words for fun.

-Neutral initially-

Burned Grey would feel like she reminds them of better days and act like a responsible mentor figure,

Drowned would just think Damsel is naive and too chipper and ignore her akin to Wraith.

Wild would not directly interact with Damsel in any way. But in her woods, Damsel would always find a cleae way in and out, free from any harrasment by the more aggresive animal life within it.

Razor would stab her. But when Damsel ran out of "new things to show her" while being stabbed, Razor would basically be like Damsel's shadow. Learning to imitate Damsel to better pretend to be normal, but otherwise, wouldn't think too much of her.

Thorn would not trust Damsel, as she doesn't trust anyone initially. But Damsel being willing to sit at the edge of her brambles and chat does slowly earn her that trust. Damsel would be the first friend that Thorn makes among the other Vessels.

Deconstructed just wants to make her happy!

-Friendly initially-

Adversary would bring Damsel along with her to any competition as her own personal cheerleader. And if the event went well, would treat Damsel to some some form of sweet treat on the way out. Damsel would also be the only one that would willingly taste test Adversary's new workout diet ideas.

Tower would demand Damsel praise her, worship her, as she does all others. Damsel would gladly do so, and the two would become fast friends. Tower would treat Damsel like a treasured song bird who always sings the right tune.

Prisoner is well aquainted with her twins peculiarities. They get along great, but also know to take some time to enjoy being away from the other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder after all...not to mention Prisoner does NOT like being confused for her sister, even momentarily.

Specter and Damsel would be having slumber parties and doing eachothers nails by the end of day 1. Best friends, secret handshakes, inside jokes, the works.

Stranger appreciates that Damsel is willing to address all of themself, and not just one face. This earns her the trust and friendship of even her Monsterous facet. Something no one else has done, while being liked by the other facets of herself.

[creampuffqueen]

i am begging people to stop going “but my sensory issues!!!” on every single post about shaving. it is so frustrating and unhelpful for so many reasons

1. you are making it about yourself. you are contributing to the “what about-ism”. bean souping the post, if you will, by derailing the conversation to turn it to you and your personal preferences

2. i’m being so for real when i say a decent amount of y’all are lying about your supposed unshaven related sensory issues. i’m sure there are some people who genuinely experience sensory issues related to having body hair, but when HUNDREDS of comments on a post are all claiming sensory issues? sensory issues are not just things that bother you, or make you a bit uncomfortable. people with sensory issues have their ENTIRE LIVES affected by them, whether that be foods they can’t eat, materials they can’t wear, noises they can’t be around, whatever. i really feel like the term “sensory issues” has been totally co-opted by neurotypical folks who just mean that a sensation bothers them a bit

3. the staunch refusal to look even a LITTLE BIT deeper into your own personal choices is infuriating. you cry “sensory issues!!” and then don’t think any further than that. it’s completely stunting to any kind of productive conversation surrounding women, body hair, shaving, and beauty standards

4. why do you need the approval from people who don’t shave? why go onto a post about shaving like “b-b-but what about me?? i have SENSORY ISSUES, i HAVE to shave every hair below my eyebrows 🥺 can you please validate me?? can you please tell me i’m still a good feminist?? can you tell me that it’s fine i’m upholding the status quo because of my SENSORY ISSUES that FORCE me to shave??”

y’all act like we’re breaking into your house, stealing your razors, and forcing you to grow out your leg hair at gunpoint. no. all that’s happening is people are saying women shouldn’t be forced to shave their body hair, and yet the people who seem to be most upset about this idea… is other women!

again, i am sure there are people who genuinely have sensory issues that mean they absolutely must shave their body hair. that’s not the issue here. the issue is other women jumping into a conversation about shaving, crying sensory issues (likely from a misunderstanding of what sensory issues actually are) derailing the entire conversation, and preventing any kind of successful discussion

and i just don’t understand why! if you truly, absolutely, 100% shave only for yourself and your comfort, that is fine! but that shouldn’t prevent you from understanding the patriarchal influences around shaving, and encouraging other women to do what they want with their own bodies, including not shaving

but your choices and decisions around shaving don’t exist in a vacuum. i highly doubt anyone in this day and age is deciding to start shaving for themselves. you were influenced by the people around you. be that adults telling you it’s a thing grown women do, be that other people your age starting to shave and you feeling left out, be that being mocked by peers and family members over your (completely natural) body hair

if you shave, that is FINE. that is completely valid. be it because of sensory issues or not. but you don’t need to talk about it! you don’t need to go into the comments on posts about not shaving and make it about how you still choose to shave. you can realize that not everything is about you personally, and most posts about not shaving are a comment on society. you can work on deconstructing your own reasons for shaving (and can still continue to shave after doing so if you want). you can help actually contribute to the conversation about the patriarchal influences behind women and hair removal

just. for the love of god, stop crying “sensory issues!!” on every post about shaving. it’s not that hard

[patricia-taxxon]

The original chart for TECHDOG before I even made any of the tracks was basically:

TECHDOG 1: Cute, simple, blunt

TECHDOG 2: Pop, dance, synth

TECHDOG 3: Chill, liquid, downtempo

TECHDOG 4: Dense, bright, Yes And, bliss point before the fall

TECHDOG 5: Spooky

TECHDOG 6: Noise

TECHDOG 7: Empty

Techdog 2 ended up being a lot weirder and more deconstructed sounding than I intended, especially near the end. Techdog 3 just is not even close to what I charted out, lol, its just goofy and fun. It's my favorite lightmode dog though, it feels like watching a thermometer rise until 4 hits. Overall though, the final product ended up surprisingly close to this initial chart.

Techdog 4 took the longest out of any part by far and I was incredibly burnt out after I finished it & realized there were 3 albums left, might be why I don't like it as much. Turns out that making every track into a maximally dense glittering pile of percussion with a very precise emotional aim is quite time consuming, it thoroughly broke the one-track-a-day rhythm I had going and I never quite got back on track. I went into 5 and 6 knowing I needed to take a far broader and more creatively permissive approach or else this thing would never release, so 5 was simply spooky and 6 was simply noise. I feel far more fondly towards those, the darkmode bit is my favorite of the album's 3 acts by a lot, and is where I feel the project really gets good.

keep this in mind if u want to make a 12 hour long album, i guess. do it in order, let it take u by the balls, minimize revisions even more than you normally would. Making TECHDOG was an exercise in murdering my perfectionism lest it never be released at all.