#act 3 deconstruction

[iriemorning]

voiceless

and the aural progress of things.

it always looks worse before it gets better. ever notice that? how things tend to fall apart right before they come together? like a storm hitting hardest just before it passes. like a lump in the throat that refuses to go away—until one day, you finally speak up, and it’s gone. it's free, away with the wind.

i didn’t have a voice before. not really.

not in the way that mattered.

but now i do.

and if i hadn’t gone through everything—the silences, the failures, the moments i let myself shrink—there wouldn’t be anything for me to say. people want the bloom without the mud, but that’s not how it works. the lotus only grows because of the dirt it pushes through.

and it’s funny, isn’t it? how easy it is to envy someone else’s success. to look at what they have and think, oh, must be nice. but we don’t always see what came before—the late nights, the rejections, the sacrifices. all we see is the result, never the work behind it.

and then there’s anger. the kind that rises up when you care too much to stay silent. we are often stigmatized that being angry should be scandalized. but anger isn’t always about destruction—it’s about love. i get angry a lot. but i won’t waste that energy on someone i don’t care about. if i am mad, it means it matters, it means you matter. i’m angry because i love you. if i didn’t, i wouldn’t even bother.

there are a lot of things that make me angry in my waking life. but the ones i actually speak up about? those are the ones that matter. those are the things i refuse to be voiceless about.

[tethys-the-aquatic-sea-godness]

Sarevok, his mother, and revenge

There are very few known information about lady Anchev, not even a canon name, but there's enough to know she mattered to Sarevok. The memory of her murder followed him through adulthood, and it's a huge part of his character. It's also one of the motivators behind his betrayal of Rieltar Anchev.

As usual, my rant is down there.

All that's really known about Sarevok and his mother is found within his diary.

"He [Rieltar] mentioned mother in our conversation: how I wasn't to be unfaithful to him as she had."

"I had a dream this night. My mother was talking to me, but as she did her face became bloated and discolored. Her voice became weaker as she spoke to me, telling me to save her from Rieltar. I could see the garrote cutting into her neck, but I did nothing. It was only a dream."

"Terribly sorry, 'father,' but my true parentage calls and you are in my way. I shall be sure to instruct the doppelgangers in the exact manner Rieltar should die. I think a garrote would be perfect for the task."

-> I will never not be obsessed with this. The way Sarevok writes about both of his foster parents tells much about his feelings toward each of them. He refers to Rieltar by his first name or as "'father'" with quotation marks. However, he always refers to lady Anchev as "mother", even "My mother". It's a rare touch of sentimentality from him. His mother has no name, but she's the only character who gets an entry in Sarevok's diary that's not related to his plans.

It's interesting to see where the introduction of lady Anchev is.

-> The first entry about Sarevok's foster mother is right after the first entry about Gorion, Charname's foster father. It's a structural choice to have both parents who mattered to Charname and Sarevok follow each other on the page. It shows how they mirror each other as a parental figure, but also how they diverge, as Gorion is still alive at that point, but lady Anchev is dead. They also both unsettle Sarevok, albeit for different reasons. In true parent mode, Gorion was the one to spot Sarevok was up to something.

Now, let's look closer at the entry introducing lady Anchev.

It's the retelling of a dream (*cough* what you call a nightmare when you're not repressed *cough*), and from the way it's structured, there's reason to believe it wasn't intended to be there. It starts with "I had a dream this night", followed by lady Anchev's murder with graphic details, but Sarevok minimizes the previous lines with "It was only a dream". It reads like Sarevok woke up disturbed by his dream, went to write it down right away then minimized what happened when he saw what he wrote. He couldn't erase the ink, and crossing it out would've been even more telling than the words themselves. Note that this is Sarevok's diary, it's not supposed to be read by anyone but him, but there's still this reflex of minimizing anything that could be perceived as a weakness.

There are a few things to take into consideration when looking at lady Anchev's death. First, memories can get distorted, second, it's a dream, so not everything should be taken literally. Typically, when lady Anchev talks to Sarevok in his dream.

"Her voice became weaker as she spoke to me, telling me to save her from Rieltar. I could see the garrote cutting into her neck, but I did nothing."

-> Lady Anchev was strangled by Rieltar with a garrote, she would've had no air to shout, much less form a coherent sentence while her brain was running out of oxygen and her trachea was being crushed.

It's more likely Sarevok's own guilt speaking through her. His "but I did nothing" reads like an accusation at himself, and more importantly, an admission of failure and powerlessness. Hence the immediate minimization. The language he uses is also worth a closer look: "telling me to save her from Rieltar". She's not asking him to do it, she's telling him to save her. It's phrased like an order and reinforces the impression it's Sarevok's inner dialogue rather than anything lady Anchev ever said. The kind you'd get when you'd try to get yourself to move, but your body doesn't follow.

Sarevok has this dream as an adult, at the height of his power and on his way to godhood. Yet, he still cannot save his mother, not even in a dream. That's the powerlessness this dream/memory throws him back to. The child he was when that happened was unable to save his mother, nor should he be expected to, but Sarevok views that as his own inaction, not his inability: "I did nothing." Rieltar is the murderer, yet he's only mentioned in the dream. Technically, he's not even there, it's only Sarevok, his mother and the garrote. Sarevok's dream frames him as the cause of her death because he "did nothing".

It adds internalized self-recrimination to Sarevok's character, which fits his past as an abused child. The structure of the dream rests the responsibility of action on Sarevok rather than Rieltar, making the one who was 'weak' take the blame. Sarevok's quest for power remains even after his resurection because it's something rooted in his past, not his taint. The weak are to blame for what happens to them because they aren't strong enough to defend themselves. That's the twisted mindset he learned from Rieltar, because he's been the weak one at his mercy. The murder of Sarevok's mother is important, because it's the starting point, it's when that idea starts to sink in. Discovering he's a Bhaalspawn only cements that mindset by giving it a 'predestined' element. His very nature is to cause pain. It doesn't matter that it's not true, it becomes part of his misbelief and further taints how he interacts with the world around him. A part of that behavior is minimizing or outright dismissing anything that could make him 'weak', such as being upset by a nightmare of his mother's murder.

Even though Sarevok claims "It was only a dream", his plotting of Rieltar's murder contradicts that.

"I shall be sure to instruct the doppelgangers in the exact manner Rieltar should die. I think a garrote would be perfect for the task."

-> Sarevok has many reason to kill Rieltar, some purely practical, but this, this is personal. Yes, he tries to lure Charname and their party into killing Rieltar, but how hard does he really try? He charms the whole city of Baldur's Gate, but lets his front crumble after a couple of valid questions from Charname? Charname's cooperation isn't necessary because he has set everything to frame them for the murder anyway. Sarevok isn't present when Rieltar dies, because he's busy having an alibi, he can't do the deed himself, or say anything he'd want to say, but he makes sure Rieltar dies in a manner where he'll still get the message. One that tells him exactly how long Sarevok has waited for this, how long Rieltar was fooled. Ever since her.

You don't get to know more about Sarevok's mother, not even in ToB, but there's a dialogue you can get when talking with Sarevok. It's a dialogue you get if you take his offer to swear a binding oath post resurection.

Sarevok: "[...] You have no remaining grudges from our earlier matches?" Charname: "No, not really. You paid for what you did." Sarevok: "I… paid for it. You do not still feel anger over what I did to your stepfather?"

-> There's a lot Sarevok did to Charname in BG 1 they could be mad about. Framing them for murder and sending multiple assassins after them among the most prominent. But the one Sarevok's mind goes to, the one he considers the most impossible to forgive is killing Gorion. Sarevok thinks of the emotional reason not to forgive him, not the attempts on Charname's life, which are numerous, but the murder of a caring parent. Because it's something he relates to. He held on to his grudge for years before he could do something about it.

When Sarevok is finally in a position to get revenge, he goes all out. He writes a letter to justify his absence at Candlekeep to Rieltar. The last sentence is interesting, because it's probably the only true statement in the letter.

Father, [...] I am also writing to tell you that I cannot attend the meeting at Candlekeep. [...] I am sorry that I will not be at your side. Sarevok

-> Sarevok is sorry he won't be there when Rieltar is killed. He'll have to be satisfied with knowing he was the one to make it happen.

The thing about Sarevok's revenge against Rieltar, is that it doesn't stop with killing him. No, that's too easy, too little. Sarevok also destroys everything Rieltar worked for. The iron conspiracy, the development of the Iron Throne on the Sword Coast, all of that was Rieltar's project at the start.

"While this is a great blow to the Iron Throne, it is the perfect opportunity for Rieltar to approach the Throne high council with his proposal."

"The Iron Throne council has agreed to support Rieltar's plan. He has been given all the resources he needs, as well as leadership of the project."

-> Sarevok took over Rieltar's own plan and once his control was total and his own personal goal (being named grand duke) was within reach, he ran this entire, brand new, branch of the Iron Throne into the ground.

"I have been sent from Sembia to determine why this branch of the Iron Throne has foundered [...]."

"I will not debate that he [Sarevok] is in control, but whatever his plans, they certainly do not have the good of the Iron Throne in mind. He has abandoned us in favor of his new position [...]. We are simply to be cast off, and I would not be surprised if the marches the Flaming Fist through here tomorrow as a show of his stance on mercantile crime!"

"I only know business, and what he is doing makes very little economic sense. [...] As it is, he is seemingly intent on abandoning us and launching a bloodbath of a war."

Valdis (Charname): Then you won't mind if I help myself to your coffers, will you? Pang Wallen: Bah, they are nearly empty regardless! Sarevok has been making decisions on the sidelines for some time now, and it has cost us all plenty. He does not seem concerned with profits or much of anything! The iron shortage became his pet project, but he has used it to inflame tensions instead of build business! He's brought us down as sure as if he was some 'hero'. [...]

"He throws away gold like it was copper, and uses our best laid plans to inflame governments instead of bargaining for wealth!"

Tralithan: Oh, wonderful. I recognize you from the descriptions given. You are the one accused of murdering our leaders, are you not? I suppose you are here to exact revenge or some such? Well, we are already defeated by one of our own and do not need you. You would do better to focus your efforts on Sarevok, rather than beating up those already beaten. Valdis (Charname): Why would he turn his back on the Iron Throne? Tralithan: Because he was never interested in us in the first place. [...]

"He secures himself as leader of the Iron Throne and then all but destroys its mercantile credibility by practically sacking it!"

-> At this point of the story, Sarevok has more or less won (he's not aware Charname has escaped yet), the Iron Throne has served its purpose and he no longer has a use for it, however, there's no need to destroy it. The scapegoat of the iron crisis was always Amn and most people ate that up. Sarevok could let his plan runs its course, without making another move on the Throne. Instead, he ruins the Iron Throne and targets them with Baldur's Gate's guards. It's a bit of a disservice to his plan, because he already had their leaders assassinated, now he's ruining their business. He knows how the Throne works, he knows they'll send people after him, he just doesn't care. He knows he can defeat anything they throw at him at this point. Sarevok doesn't run Rieltar's operation into the ground because it serves a purpose for him, he does it because he wants to. He doesn't only kill Rieltar, he destroys everything he built on the Sword Coast.

It's not the only time Sarevok makes a 'scorched earth' plan against someone he has a personal grudge against, the other being Gorion's ward and the Candlekeep chapter, but that should've its own post.

Conclusion: Sarevok's affection for his mother is showed in a subdued and repressed way. There's never any vocal expression of it, but it's in his thoughts even when he doesn't want it to be, like his dream. It's built in his plans when he wants Rieltar killed the same way he killed her. She's not the only reason Sarevok tears down all of Rieltar's work, but she's a fundamental one.

"I think a garrote would be perfect for the task."

It's the last sentence of Sarevok's diary. This is what the one insight you get into Sarevok's mindset in BG 1 closes on. He doesn't talk about himself or his future godhood here, indirectly he talks about her. Sarevok denies it matters on paper, but unconsciously contradicts his claim. It hints at where Sarevok's weak points are. He's not fully self-aware, he doesn't overcome pain or weakness, he denies that he experiences either.

It never is 'only a dream'. Lady Anchev is haunting Sarevok. Killing Rieltar and ruining his work isn't just about her, but the closing statement of his diary is.

[famewolf]

honestly, I think I'm going to wait awhile longer to finish bg3. been working on allowing myself time and space to let my whims flow where they may, and I recognized I was getting stressed for not having finished it in a 'timely manner'

me shaking myself: it's a fucking game!! play it as much or as little as you want!!!

[captain-clive]

As a GM you have to be prepared for every possibility, your players can take your storyline and move it any reasonable direction and as long as it makes sense then it shall be.

Even if said direction is to shit in a blender.

[incognit0slut]

Devil’s advocate

Softcore Spencer doesn't feel any remorse when it comes to this strange arrangement involving sex. Neither do you.

Category: Smut (18+) Word count: 3.6k Content: fem!reader, dom!spencer, bratty reader if you will, implied age gap, unprotected p in v, spit kink, overstimulation, squirting, and kinda fwb or (more precisely) not-exactly-friends with benefits a/n: it took me more than 3 months to post again and it will probably take me another for the next post (kidding) (maybe not). try to imagine this spencer for a better experience

-

Spencer isn’t a good man.

A quiet verdict, a fault line.

A truth etched into the grain of his being that is unmoved no matter how many times people say otherwise.

He’s made a habit of the dissection — words, meanings, intent. A lexical autopsy, combing through every definition in the dictionary if it meant finding just one that could give weight to the well intentioned affirmations spoken by those who’ve shared his life through fourteen years of cases. From friends to mentors. From people he considers family. Even his mother has taken part in the exercise in her own way, quietly revising the definition of goodness to fit the shape of her son.

His love for her isn’t enough to convince him.

And he loves her, deeply, enough to bear the fragmented reality she clings to without complaint. Still, her confidence sounds like a desperate attempt to defend a virtue that, as far as he can tell, simply doesn't exist. Her faith in him is stubbornly rooted in wishes rather than proof. Pretty, fragile things wilting from reality. She doesn’t see the cracks hidden behind the glassy surface of his supposedly endearing charm.

Like most people never do. The brilliance of his brain blinds them. They think his mastery of facts or ability to weave information into careful answers is a reflection of some deeper moral foundation. Assuming that the man who can recite obscure case law from memory and deconstruct a lie with nothing but tone and syntax must also be someone incapable of harm. That someone who thinks in algorithms surely knows the difference between right and wrong and essentially follows it. Articulate, therefore righteous.

What lazy math that they run.

The truth, however, is far less romantic.

If there’s anything genuinely good left in him, he likes to believe it’s the act of waiting. Patience still sounds noble enough. It casts him as a silent benefactor, gifting others the space to sketch their own truths while he quietly collects their misconceptions and spends them like counterfeit bills.

He’s getting good at it, too.

Exchange his intelligence for wisdom.

Detachment for strength.

Emptiness for depth.

Little trades, so small and constant they almost feel natural now. As long as he keeps showing them the version they’ve come to accept, no one pauses to wonder if those long months locked inside his own head have carved him down to something less than whole. Selfish, perhaps, letting them cling to these illusions. But it’s a comfortable deception. They get the man they want, he keeps the truth to himself, paying nothing but time and silence for whatever reward comes from that carefully preserved silence.

After all, waiting is nothing more than delayed gratification, isn't it?

And this right here is what he’s waited for, to have you like this — warm and wet and dangling precariously off his bed.

A decadent reward for every second of restraint.

Purely carnal. Blasphemous in its perfection.

Your body curves at an angle that looks uncomfortable, a leg hooked over his shoulder, another barely hanging onto the edge of the mattress with the cool air licking your calf. Common sense tells him a complaint is warranted, yet not a murmur of discomfort escapes your pretty lips. You seem perfectly content to let him mold you into whatever shape he wants. Harmless, he insists, just a mutual indulgence between two consenting adults.

But morality has a way of souring sweet things — and maybe he should be ashamed.

Should be embarrassed at the way he finds satisfaction in this.

Should feel something other than pride watching your brows pinch together in pleasure.

Should care that he’s reduced to fucking you with all the desperation of a man who likes being selfish. It’s statistically uncommon for someone with his level of empathy, yet he stitches hunger into the tender curve of your body, scoring endless sensation with needles that prick and sting but never draw enough blood to slow him. Only if he distanced himself from you could he see the cruelty he’s gouging into the very seams of your skin.

He does no such thing.

He can’t. Not when he’s buried inside you like this, when your breath splits apart into fragile little pieces with weak fingers clawing at his back. Not when his selfishness feels bottomless, a craving so raw and wide and insatiable he's never dared give it a name — but somehow you seem to understand.

Understand what, though?

That he can’t help himself? That despite all the logic, all the reasons why he shouldn’t let himself have you, he does?

That he doesn’t regret it, not even a little?

No.

Good men don’t do this.

But you’re no saint either.

Innocence wears your face, but never fit so poorly. You’re trouble in its finest form — beautifully packaged, masterfully delivered with a smokey laugh that glides over the fine shiver pebbling across his skin as you offer a sly, “You’re getting sloppy.”

The smug little curl of your lips has his heart leaping in his throat, and he would have joined in your laughter if it weren’t for the way your breathless tone slithered into his ears. His brows draw together, sweat dripping down nose as he shakes his head to free the damp strands of hair clinging to his skin.

“Am I?”

“Mm.” You tip your head back against the bed, exposing the lovely curve of your neck. "Your age is starting to show.”

He finally huffs a laugh, lowers the leg hooked over his shoulder and trails up the inside of your thigh. “That’s not very nice.”

Your teeth briefly catch your lower lip.

“Neither is slowing down right when it’s getting good.”

“You think I’m slowing down?”

You faintly nod. “It’s actually cute how you’re pacing yourself. Should I be worried about your knees?”

That earns a sharp, almost affronted look before his palms grip both your inner thighs, followed by a sudden thrust that sends you back against the mattress. He thinks he’s regained some semblance of power over himself, until you let out a breathless little moan and continue to taunt him, arching your back with full insolence but only half the mockery. Docile in appearance alone when you’re flaunting your nipples in blatant invitation.

“That the best you can do?”

A hand flies to your breast, curling around the supple meat as he catches the stiff bud between his knuckles. “You’re acting brave tonight.”

“Sexually frustrated,” you admit with an exasperated sigh, rolling your hips. Urging him to move again. “Spent the whole day picturing you fucking me stupid and got exactly nothing.”

The corner of his mouth twitches.

Nothing feels almost insulting considering how easily he coaxed you through his apartment.

He tries to bend lower, and sure enough, there’s something that feels suspiciously like age nipping at his lower back. A dull throb he quickly swallows as his mouth find your nipple. And toys with it, rolling the taut peak between wet tongue and wetter teeth, each slow suck a deliberate rebuttal that the way he’s been driving his cock into you for the past twenty minutes is anything but nothing.

Your fingers slip into the softest surface of hair.

“Fuck me harder.”

He turns his attention to your other nipple. “That still wasn’t enough for you?”

“If you have to ask, then clearly not.”

His mouth closes around you again, laps slow, teasing circles, all the while you grind your hips, shamelessly trying to fuck yourself with every delicious tug of his lips.

Instinctively, he starts rutting his hips in response. Little thrusts of his cock easing inside you inch by inch. “You have no idea what you’re asking for.”

“I have every intention of finding out,” you counter, pulling him by his curls. “I know you can do better.”

His gaze touches yours.

You smile lazily.

“Go on. Show me.”

His eyelids dip in a slow, dangerous blink, and lets his nose brush the soft swell of your breast. Lingers. Smells the powdery scent of jasmine and honey consuming his senses.

What part of himself can he exchange this time? What currency of half-truths still has any value left?

The answer, adamantly, is etched in the narrow space of his mouth and your skin, a hush too charged to disguise. He doesn't think he owes you anything in counterfeit tonight. No borrowed patience. No repurposed kindness polished thin by repetition. The second you ask for more when he’s been giving you nothing less is the moment every polished veneer he’s spent years perfecting shatters like chipped glass.

So he gives you the one thing he’s never bartered — himself, stripped of caution.

Because no matter how many labels others slap on his name, you’ve never bought into a single one.

Not entirely. You catch the edges that don’t quite align, the rougher layers hidden beneath his careful composure. You see past the softness everyone assumes is the entirety of him, the reputation they’ve stitched together from fragments pieced carefully since he was an innocent young boy with oversized glasses and a penchant for knowledge.

Rationally, he is soft. He’s spent a lifetime wrapped in the belief that his gentleness is his sole trait. That it’s all he can embody.

But not with you.

With you, he's whatever he needs to be.

He's whatever he wants to be.

He pulls back just enough to watch your body seize around him, and drags his tongue over his chapped lips, tastes the salt of effort and the musky smell of sex before channeling what’s left of his energy into his core. Then fucks you harder. Shoving every inch back with a strangled noise of his own, savoring the tight pull of your dripping cunt. Relishing the slight roll of your eyes as he pushes deeper, harder, with a savagery that rips breathless whimpers from the back of your throat with each jarring thrust. 

Your moans ride every groaning hinge of the mattress, too, then linger, fogging the dark walls of his room as the wet slap of skin bounces off every surface. Stepping three beats out of time with reason, maybe more, for the way his eyes chase that music down the slope of your belly, following the trail of his thumbs over your mound, over your stretched folds, and pulls the soft skin apart.

His throat rises and falls in time with the motion of his cock — in, out, in, out. For someone so famously averse to germs, the streaks of your slick smearing across his skin outweigh every compulsion, so much so he pries you open even wider and lets a hot ribbon of saliva pool in his mouth. Watches it dribble over your clit. He’s nowhere near coherent enough to care about cleanliness when he can tell how much the slow trickle of his spit sliding down your swollen flesh — a foamy mess now resting heavily on his cock — only seem to intensify your thirst.

You squirm when he moves closer, fingers clawing around his wrist like you’re on the verge of asking for more but can’t bring yourself to say.

Stubborn, he's not surprised.

But he knows you well enough to understand the subtle shifts in your expression. He takes that slightly jutting lower lip of yours as a plea for him to give you what you need, so he smears the extra coat of lube over your clit and rubs frantically. Doesn’t bother to be gentle with it too, not when he’s seen how much you like it under rough hands. He’s proven right when he notices your muscles tensing up.

Your breath stutters. Your body jerks.

He rubs your clit with more pressure. “Good enough for you?”

You swallow thickly, blinking up at him through heavy lids. “Still—fuck—”

“What was that?”

“Still—think you can—do better,” you retort, hiccupping through your words. 

It’s beyond him that you’re still functioning. Your hair clings messily to your forehead, damp strands caught in a tangled halo around your face. Your cheeks are blotchy from where his stubble scraped across your skin, lips kiss-bruised and swollen and somehow still trying to get the last word.

You should be done by now. Boneless, reduced to little more than trembling limbs, yet you still have bits of reason floating around that mush he’s turned your brain into. There’s a spark of energy left to bait him. Foolish, he decides, but if there’s even a sliver of you left untouched, he’ll gladly take every fragment that dares to surface.

He wrenches off your body just long enough to fist his cock, dragging his bulbous tip through the sticky fluids down to the puckered hole beneath, then slaps himself through the mess. If it weren’t for your hips bucking shamelessly, he’d think he was wrong for indulging such filthy impulses he’s never dared to overstep. You can’t seem to discern whether the sharp throb is pain or pleasure, but your cunt flutters around emptiness and aches like it's grieving the loss of him.

One stroke after repositioning himself and he’s right back where you need him, hammering into that devastating spot that sends your pupils scattering upward, leaving nothing but the whites of your eyes. He pulls out and does it again.

And again.

And again.

And again, until he’s certain all your senses have braided into one indistinguishable pulse.

“Oh God,” you moan, trying to press your thighs together out of reflex, but his grip tightens as he pries them open once more.

You feel lightheaded. Your belly rolls, your cheeks burn, drool slips from the corner of your mouth. You’re so far gone you don’t even notice. Too wrapped up in the desperate drag of breath through your parted lips, too busy chasing the dizzy spark bursting behind your eyes. You’re nothing short of raw nerves, lost in the punishing rhythm that keeps tearing you open and stitching you together in the same brutal stroke.

It doesn’t take long for a high, agonizing squeal to wrench free from your throat as your orgasm barrels through you without warning. Steals your breath away, leaving behind only a splintered string of gasps and trembling cries that fall recklessly from your lips as his pelvis hammers into the curve of your hip bone.

And he catches every fractured syllable and synchronizes his thrusts to the quiver of your voice, or maybe he’s simply addicted to the jagged rise and fall of your moans — like a direct stroke to his ego, trophies he hoards greedily.

He ponders how many more of those rewards he can coax from you tonight, how many more heights your body can scale before it finally gives way. He assumes it’s too much to ask, yet the greedy pulse in his veins insists there’s always more shiver to claim, another breathless note to add to his growing collection.

It turns out to be unnervingly easy.

Your second climax arrives in the span of a single heartbeat.

The third steals in like an electric stab, splintering along your spine as he pins you down and pounds hard into you.

By the fourth, your cunt swells and clenches around him in frantic pulses, yet he’s still fucking you relentlessly as if one more keepsake will finally satiate his greed.

Your hand shake when you lift one to trace his bicep, though it ends up as more of a twitchy pawing than anything resembling grace before you blindly scramble up his shoulder, finding his damp mess of curls again. Its wild, humid knot of heat tangles between your fingers as the most wrecked little whine trembles in your throat.

“P-Pee.”

He blinks, straining to pluck your voice over the rush in his ears. The words barely register at first, but when they do, his own pulse comes apart in a hot scatter mess.

“Need to pee,” you fluster again.

And if that doesn’t unravel him to his bones, he doesn’t know what will.

He tucks his hands into the crevice of your thighs. “‘S not pee.”

“What?”

The confusion in your voice is almost cute for someone who usually acts like they know everything. Adorable how you’ve been nothing but provocative all night, only to falter gradually.

“You don’t need to pee,” he rasps. The grip behind your knees tightens, fingers digging into soft flesh as he drives deeper with all the focus he can muster. He’s holding back by sheer will alone now, even when the familiar feeling of his balls growing taut creeps up, but that ache is a small price to pay when he’s painfully aware of what your body is capable of giving.

His cock strikes a deep, delicious spot inside you.

Rearranges your insides until you're wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck,” you croak. “I’m gonna piss your bed.”

“It’s not pee.”

His words barely register when your whole body winds so tightly that your face doesn’t even look like yours anymore. Eyes unfocused, spine bowing, throat bared. The muscles in your neck tighten like cords that it’s clear you’re still trying to fight whatever pressure you’re under.

“You need to relax,” he urges, finding your clit once again. Wide eyes flutter over intense brown orbs.

“Wait wait wait—gonna pee—”

“You’re gonna come again,” he corrects. He sees you puff out a long breath, which is nothing less strained than his own. “Female ejaculation, different glands. Less than—”

His words catch in a groan as your cunt flutters around his thickness.

“…less than ten percent of the fluid is even related to—to urine.”

Annoyed, you tug on his curls and whine, “This isn’t the time.”

“No better time than now.” His hips continue to buck into you with a sharp, hungry rhythm. “You’ll understand if you stop fighting it.”

“I can’t!”

“You can.” Thwack-thwack-thwack. “You will.”

The sound of his balls slapping against the wet cradle of your ass is making you delirious. Even more so when a warm, buzzing sensation sparks in your core and rushes outward, blooming into this intense prick that spreads across your lower belly with startling speed.

“Oh—shitshitshit—”

“That’s it, just breathe through your nose.”

His words falls on deaf ears. “I-I can’t hold it any longer.”

“You’re not supposed to hold it in.”

"I—wa—wait—Spencer!”

“Let it out,” he frets, and closes the last inch of space between you. Foreheads nearly touching, brows pulling together in quiet frustration. “Need you to trust me for once.”

“I don’t—fuck! I am NOT pissing on you—”

“Do it.”

“I can’t—”

“C’mon,” he prods. “Give it to me.”

You sniff a strangled sob.

“Do it.”

You claw at his hair once more, and any semblance of control that you clung to shatters immensely.

You try to follow his words and suck in a sharp breath. Lungs expanding, ribs flaring, and the rush of oxygen pouring into your blood sharpens every sensation to something blinding. A passage of whines pitches upward as his thumb swipes side to side over your tight nub while he slams into you. Once, twice, over and over — until a concentrated surge of pressure around his cock urges him to pull out.

Warm bursts of liquid splashes onto him. Streaks down his damp thighs, the flushed skin of his skin. Seeps deep into the cotton fabric of his sheets with muffled sounds as your heart thunders wildly in your chest. He doesn’t even try to fight the smile that pulls at his mouth the second your eyes flicker with disbelief, or the lazy circle his thumb traces around your sensitive, overstimulated clit. He’s too focused on the way your release continues to mark the bed he intends to sleep in.

"There it is,” he hums proudly, "knew you could do it."

He did. He knew this would happen the moment your breath stuttered into helpless little gasps, but nothing could have prepared him for the reality. His lust blooms unchecked, a fever behind molten eyes, something his vision can’t seem to outrun. Even as his gaze blurs over your dripping hole puckering around nothing, over the tiny bead of precum trickling down your cleft, he’s stunned into silence.

You’re a ravishing mess, and he’s never seen anything so pretty.

You’re on another level of divine that it makes something in his head tick just from the sight. His cock twitches helplessly as he unconsciously inserts himself back through the warm puddle of your flesh, and swears he can still feel you fluttering. Feels the tremor in your sweet, sopping cunt. Hears the faint splatter of droplets beating the sheets with every deliberate stroke of his hips.

He’s long since fallen behind in being a good man, but you certainly deserve something in return for listening to him. So he reaches out, cradles your face between palms that have never claimed to be gentle, and drinks deeply. Tries to steal back the breath you robbed from him.

Kiss, taste, repeat.

Touch, grab, repeat.

But it’s not enough.

He doesn’t think it ever will be.

The dopamine surge won’t last, a notion as clear as the haze of your sweat gluing to his skin. He’s even sure he could rattle off half a dozen papers about reward circuits and compulsive behavior, recite the exact millisecond window in which the pleasure centers will spike and fall. None of it matters when your mouth parts for him and your breath warms his cheeks.

He tries to catalog the way your pulse thumps beneath his thumb, the microscopic tremor in your lashes, the sweetness of carbon dioxide exhaled against his tongue. It becomes another unsolved equation, a tangle of variables his doctorate never prepared him to parse. There’s only the thunderous beat of his own heart and the simple, staggering fact that you’re here, giving when he has taken so much.

But there is no safe dosage of you that will let him step back unscathed. One hit becomes two, two becomes habit, soon habit feels indistinguishable from necessity. An addiction he can’t refuse when it would only mean denying himself the only thing that makes him feel alive.

And if that makes him weak, he might as well be weak for you — again and again until there’s nothing left of him that doesn’t carry the imprint of your name. To ruin or to worship, it makes no difference to him.

He’ll fall to his knees just the same.

Your pulse begins to settle into a calmer rhythm in the hush that follows, and he scatters small kisses along the corner of your jaw, up the sweep of your cheekbone, pausing at the hinge of your lips. The gentle weight of his mouth has you shifting along wet sheets, every muscle tensing at the unexpected softness threaded through his touch.

Tenderness, in your world, feels foreign. Unfamiliar. Ill-fitting. And truthfully, he isn’t much better when it comes to you. Sharper tongues seem to be the better fit for two people who know how to fight more than they know how to surrender.

His lips skate beneath your chin instead, slides along the sweat slick column of your throat and hums, “Think you can do that again?”

Avoidance. It’s the language you both speak fluently.

The stiffness in your body bleeds out with your next exhale.

“…depends on your skill, old man.”

That's it. He can take another one of your barbed little comments. Another sly jab delivered with that pretty pout of your mouth. In fact, he finds himself almost craving it. Your taunts fuel the heat beneath his skin as much as they test his patience, and patience is something he's mastered after all. So he continues to grind his hips. Rubs the tip of your clit with the fine coarse of hair dusting his belly before you’re writhing again.

Peculiar, how easily his selfishness devours reason. Logic. Decorum. How quickly a man who’s built his life on discipline can find himself unraveling for something as simple and devastating as the way you gasp his name.

A good man would’ve stopped at the soft mist pooling in your eyes.

Spencer keeps going.

"If a God is a dog and a man is a fraud then I'm a lost cause." Devil’s Advocate—The Neighbourhood

[velvees-archive]

At 20 years old, Miles Edgeworth’s only mentor tells him never to step foot into his opponent’s territory lest he fail to crush them in court. 4 years later, Edgeworth enters Defendant Lobby No. 1 to warn opposing counsel Phoenix Wright about Redd White’s decisive testimony.

Some post-AAI1 reflections + how Phoenix unravels Miles from the very moment they meet again.

After playing through the original trilogy, up to 4-2 on Apollo Justice, and all of Ace Attorney Investigations 1, I couldn’t help but jot down my (admittedly incomplete) thoughts about Phoenix and Edgeworth’s relationship, especially as it pertains to Miles’ “unraveling,” or his departure from von Karma’s teachings.

We already know von Karma had no love for Edgeworth. Crushing the late Gregory Edgeworth’s legacy under the guise of mentoring his son (and eventually ruining his career at its peak) was von Karma’s last act of hatred towards the departed.

From Miles’ perspective, however, von Karma was an accomplished teacher to whom he owed his gratitude and career’s success. This is important because Edgeworth’s actions are fundamentally motivated by his desire to express his “gratitude,” repay debts, and honor legacies.

His debt to von Karma compels him to strive for the perfection his mentor obsesses over. Achieving perfection takes the form of absorbing von Karma’s teachings, among them the AAI1 screenshot from earlier: only face your opponent in court, and make sure you crush them when you do it.

We know for a fact that the “demon prosecutor” internalizes von Karma’s teachings. He follows them to a T.

So, following 15 years of indoctrination, 4 years of putting the von Karma creed into practice, and an entire childhood AND early adulthood’s worth of gratitude, you’d THINK Edgeworth wouldn’t dare dishonor him…

Until he does, by coming to the defendant lobby to speak to his “enemy.”

Prior to playing AAI1, I thought the impetus for Edgeworth’s character development was 1-3, wherein he reevaluated the facts of the case and helped Phoenix get Dee Vasquez a guilty verdict. I still think 1-3 was the first time he consciously acknowledged the possibility (keyword: possibility) that his prosecutorial upbringing wasn’t..sound…(lmao!)

But with this AAI1 von Karma and Bratworth interaction, I now believe it was 1-2—with Edgeworth subconsciously disregarding his mentor’s teachings and Phoenix acting as the catalyst—that shows us when he first strayed from the path of a Von Karma.

An aside: Do I think AAI1 Bratworth was perfectly characterized? Not at all; he’s much too noble for that era of his life, though I don’t think it affects my case.

Edgeworth is a man full of contradictions. He comes to the defendant lobby to tell Phoenix his case is hopeless, though he has no obligation to disclose—nor has he ever set a precedent of disclosing—decisive witnesses’ information to his opponents.

He tells Phoenix he’ll do anything to get a guilty verdict, yet he warns the defense that his witness’s testimony will be considered infallible, prompting the player (Phoenix) to dissect the following testimonies with more care.

He tells Phoenix not to expect any special treatment from him, yet his very presence in the defendant’s lobby is in direct opposition to his respected mentor’s wishes.

It takes just one appearance from Phoenix for the filaments of von Karma’s indoctrination to unravel. 4 years into his career, Edgeworth has met many attorneys—most notably, Mia Fey—who embody Phoenix’s faith in his clients, yet none could shake his foundations like Phoenix Wright.

Edgeworth may have not been ready to turn a new leaf upon his first encounter with Phoenix, but the fact that a loose thread from his childhood (that’s emblematic of his innocence, his dreams, and dare I say his father’s drive) ultimately leads to his unraveling is poetry if I’ve ever seen it.

TL;DR Phoenix deconstructs Edgeworth like he was born to do so. The moment Phoenix decided to chase after him, Edgeworth had already lost.

[sarshles-cheescake-li]

Some fun translation facts about Yingdu...

-Xia Fei doesn't necessarily call Vein "warm-hearted." “热心肠" doesn't mean warm-hearted, as in compassionate. It's based on 热心, or passionate. You use it for someone who's helpful, whom you can expect to speak up for people, but not necessarily someone who's "warm." It's more a comment on someone's willingness to get involved in other people's business than their kindness.

-Laoban (老板) is a pretty common way for employees to refer to their bosses. Distinctive from surname-laoban (e.g. Li-laoban), since surnames are usually used if 1. you need to distinguish between several superiors, 2. you're trying to appeal to someone (aka basically talking them up), or 3. you're on somewhat-equal ground with the person, socially, and using it literally because they're the boss of a company. Other terms like -xiansheng (先生)/-nüshi (女士)depending on the person's gender) and -zong (总) may also be used, but laoban (without a surname) is the most "casual" without being informal. Informally, you might use surname-ge (哥)/jie (姐) (common between people of similar ages with an authority/respect gradient, sometimes used casually between friends for an older person), lao (老)-surname (more common the older you get, typically for seniority or generation gaps, but some older folks will use it universally for their friends who are around the same age), dage (大哥)/dajie (大姐) (implies a more familial relationship, but not as explicitly as gege (哥哥) or jiejie(姐姐)). In short: Xia Fei's "laoban," in terms of word choice, is pretty normal socially -- unlike in English where "boss" is kinda a weird term to call someone as their default name. What makes it silly is the fact that he uses it very informally.

-Cheng Xiaoshi calling people 帅哥 (hottie) isn't exactly correct. The shuaige/meinü (美女) (handsome man/beautiful woman) combo is just a pretty common compliment to give someone. It doesn't have to actually imply attraction, and it is often more of a "wow, this person's conventionally attractive" thing. Of course, I'm not saying that that is exactly how Cheng Xiaoshi meant it -- with that tone and context, it could go either way.

-Same logic applies to 美少年 (handsome young man), except it has far more of a teasing/ironic implication, especially when preceded by 美少女 (beautiful young woman). So far as I can tell, 美少年 kind of refers to the same kind of vibe and appearance as… a twink, just without the queer undertones. The bi-coding of that scene would actually require a second layer of linguistic irony that's kind of difficult to explain, although, rest assured, there is still a pretty bi way of reading it.

-Xia Fei's contact name for Liu Xiao means "client who doesn't mind his own business/is nosy/bothers me with a lot of things/is hard to please" or that general vibe. Basically, annoying, but very specifically the high-maintenance flavour of annoying.

-When Vein tells Xia Fei to "脾气收敛点" (or, well, Xia Fei promises to do so) as in to control his temper, the 脾气 he uses doesn't exactly mean temper, in the sense of anger. It's more of how thick your skin is, or how tolerant you are of bs (although it's also dependent on context). In the context of Xia Fei using it, it comes closer to "stop being so impulsive and reacting to people who don't need reacting to." So, more like "control yourself." Notably, 脾气 can also refer to when someone's whining. Like, if my roommate is acting all annoyed at me because I called potatoes ugly (they are extraordinarily ugly), I might say to her “发什么脾气呢" (what are you throwing a fuss about) as a joke.

Another fun fact: some nicknames for the Yingdu trio on Lofter are 鸟木哥, based on 枭, 非文哥, based on 斐 (both of these are deconstructions of their names), and 静脉哥, based the Mandarin term for Vein, as in the blood vessel.

English internet: I'm going to shorten this six-letter long name into two letters so it's easier to type.

Chinese internet: I'm going to lengthen this two-character name into three characters so it's funnier to type.

[kadisiyuswyrd]

MCR GAYLIST MASTERPOST

Hello, gays. I'm in the process of making a video & I'd like some input.

(I blame @cordspaghetti for keeping Alpharetta Gerard in my mind)

As the title implies, the video will rank every MCR song based on how gay it is in chronological order (more or less). Hopefully, it'll be released the first day of the new Black Parade tour (July 11, 2025). No promises, though.

[Edit 6/30/25: Oh man this is not releasing on time...I did not realize how much moving would tire me out. Also Delatrune chps. 3 & 4 took up some time...Me and Google Docs were not on speaking terms for a week.]

At this point in the writing process (just finished Bullets this morning) I think Everyone Hates the Eagles is their gayest song. Prison, Mama, & To the End are up there, though ("he's not around he's always looking at men," I mean...c'mon).

I'm not too good at lyrical analysis, though, nor is my knowledge of MCR as robust as I'd like, so I'm interested to hear different queer readings of their songs.

As unserious as this video concept is, I actually want to approach it from a really earnest lens. Tier lists are already so subjective; gayness is such an arbitrary, amorphous label. I want to play around with the inherent stupidity of this.

There are some fundamental questions that I still haven't really answered but would love to explore:

What does it mean for something to be queer / gay (weird)?

What does it mean for something to be straight (normal)?

I really have no conception of what normality is anymore. I find strange things normal, normal things strange; when I act normally I feel strange, but am called strange when I think I'm acting normally...

3. How does rock music manage to attract both extremely gay and extremely straight fanbases (e.g. Nirvana, Queen, Misfits)?

Nirvana's fanbase always surprises me because the band was so left-leaning and anti-machismo, but because they sounded rough and masculine they attract these really weird, pretentious assholes. The way that rock music oscillates between hypermasculine presentation (leather jackets, jeans, shirtless, hairy) and queer theatricality (David Bowie, early Queen) is really interesting to me in general. It's a genre that's been sexist and feminist, homophobic and relentlessly queer in the same decade.

4. Is there value in deliberately ambiguous queer representation?

This question makes me think of iLLi. She emerged from ambiguity and I think that's part of her appeal. Fanfiction is grasping at straws to make something beautiful and whole. Isn't the ambiguity sometimes preferrable—to allow unique fan interpretation?

Not all of these questions need to be answered in the video, but I want them on my mind while writing. Part of me wants to make a normal tier list video, another part wants to kind of deconstruct it...but. this video is shaping up to be a behemoth as is, so maybe I should avoid scope creep and keep my ambitiousness in check.

We'll see how it goes. I'd love to hear from y'all.

(Also, big shoutout to @angstics who is, by my estimation, the seminal queer MCR scholar. I've been referring to a lot of their writing during the research process.)

Below is a list of the sources I'll be referring to during the script writing process. This is a living document, so expect this list to expand in the coming weeks. Cheers.

—Kay

Research w/Notes:

This article is a fun look at the early days of the band. It features a fun story about a sickly Gerard getting punched by record exec to give him energy to record his vocals. It worked.

Blistein, Jon. (2021). How a Sucker Punch Fueled the Rise of My Chemical Romance. Rolling Stone. https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/my-chemical-romance-rise-book-excerpt-sellout-dan-ozzi-1247331/   

One of Gerard's answers during his famous 2014 Reddit AMA. Mainly focused on his answer to question 5 about Drowning Lessons and its status as MCR's "cursed song."

Way, Gerard. (2014). Reddit AMA https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2i1840/comment/ckxylaq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button 

A really thorough video about queer (sub)text in You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison. A helpful resource. souryogurtgirl. (2024). My Chemical Romance's Gay Anthem? YouTube. https://youtu.be/jDP5_Kl36ms

A TRACK BY TRACK BREAKDOWN OF TBP. Hell yeah.

Great MCR essays. The essay SEX & VIOLENCE is the most interesting to me, at least in relation to this video. Love & suffering is such a deeply queer idea. The "queering of violence" is so central to MCR's lyricism. Love how the essay points out the importance of Gerard's delivery, that's something I want to highlight in my own analysis.

"Honey This Podcast Isn't Big Enough for The Both of Us" is not only a great resource for MCR fan discourse, it is just really entertaining podcasting. Maren & EJ are playful, yet insightful. Their episode on the demo lovers has been helpful to try to parse the storytelling of Bullets and Revenge.

Slowly diving a bit more into queer theory for this project. It's daunting, but interesting! I feel like queer time—the idea (to my understanding) that queer people's life trajectories are distinctly different and possibly even incompatible with the traditional straight narrative of getting married, having a kid, entering the job market, etc.—may prove a helpful concept, especially in relation to TBP.

Writer Kathryn Bond Stockton literally describes queer children as "ghosts" because many of them cannot yet verbalize their queerness and are they given a roadmap for what adult queer life will look like. I mean...that's very Black Parade coded.

Haven't read this read this yet, keeping it here to get back to it! I really want to understand the link between queerness and theater, there's gotta be some historical context that explains that a bit more clearly for me.

A cool talk Gerard did at LA Comic Con just a little bit before the reunion tour was announced. Some good nuggets about how the they approached the band and general insights on his creative process. Also, Gerard talks about how medications helped him manage his depression which was helpful when researching Sister to Sleep which is all about using medication to handle mental health.(The audience is so horny for My Chem...just saying "Frank" or "Ray" or a song title will get screams.)

[iriemorning]

the false oddities of the heart and mind

it’s not heart versus mind. it never was.

we talk about them like opposing forces, like rivals constantly at war. like one has to win, like one has to be sacrificed. but that’s never how it works, not really. i feel things first—raw, untamed, gut-deep. then my mind steps in, not to fight, not to contradict, but to interpret, to organize the chaos into something i can understand.

they have separate functions. one gathers the data, the other makes sense of it. one moves, the other maps. it's not about one being stronger than the other. both exist because they have to, because they complete the circuit.

a magnet needs both positive and negative poles to work. electricity needs both currents. the tides need the push and pull of the moon. why should we be any different?

we are not made to choose between feeling and thinking. we are meant to let them dance around the halls of our lives, as it takes two to tango.

[theferbtones]

HERE ISSSS MY COMPREHENSIVE FIRST THOUGHTS ABOUT THE FIRST PART OF PHINEAS AND FERB SEASON 5 (FROM THE POV OF A LONG-TIME SUPERFAN)

SPOILERS BELOW!!! DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW EPISODES OKAY!!! THANK YOU MUAH

General thoughts:

animation is actually quite good! I think summer block buster / license to bust were noticeably rusty but everything else was pretty good + there were some moments that were really well animated. especially in the b plot scenes

I like that they overdubbed phineas' lines in the theme song! I think that should have happened a long time ago!! like, yeah im used to the original lines, but it sounds more cohesive in my opinion

adding onto that I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT THEY DIDN'T REMAKE THE INTRO OH MY GOD THANK YOU DWAMPY THANK YOU TH

Voice acting was great! There were some wacky moments but like overall I didnt have any issues with any of the voices. I feel so bad I was so concerned because there was Candace’s theme song takeover and Ashley Tisdale’s voice sounded so autotuned there but in the show she sounds just fine. All the new VAs did great as well (ily David errigo jr. as ferb)

Buford’s bread bowl hot tub joke the whole season was really funny to me. Honestly, buford overall was SO awesome this season. he was carrying the backyard gang

I also quite liked ferb and baljeet so far. my sillies

---

Episodes:

Summer Block Buster / Cloudy With a Chance of Mom

great way to reintroduce the characters. Im glad we didn’t linger much on the school part and we jump right into summer

The twist with Linda being vaporized was perfect. I liked how the gang interacted with cloud Linda.. seeing Candace be emotional is always SO important to me okay

Idk what else to say. Super solid beginning, great intro song, summer is starting right now is a new fave for me

Submarine Sandwich Submarine / License to Bust / Dry Another Day

I love how normal these episodes were!! Really feels like they could fit into season 2 or 3

I don’t have a ton to say about them other than I really liked them all. seeing Candace finally get her license felt like a proud parent moment lol. loved the callbacks to mud mud world!

Deconstructing Doof:

NOT what I expected from this episode but I was not opposed to it! The therapist character was insane but it was interesting. I liked having a Candace and doof duet again… love seeing when the connections are acknowledged in the show :smiles:

Linda was really pissing me off in this episode though. girl pay attention to your daughter oh my god!!!

Tropey McTropeface / Biblio-Blast!

oh my god. Tropey mctropeface I laughed SO hard at some of these gags. It was an out there idea, but I loved it! Zoetrope god canon. thats all I have to say

Dont have much to say about biblio-blast either it felt like a standard episode (good) 

I liked the part where they all jumped into the air high school musical style. Did they make it just to include in a trailer? Probably… but I still like it. 

A Chip to the Vet / More Than an Intern

the vet episode had SO MUCH potential. But . I did not like it thaaat much. Perry and doof’s fighting was cool, but otherwise the big invention for the day just felt too similar to phintastic ferbulous car wash :’(

Also WHY ARE WE USING SCREAMING GOAT IN 2025. THE EPISODE DID IT NOT ONCE NOT TWICE BUT *FOUR TIMES*. SERIOUSLY it really took me out of the episode

I like that its canon that ferb went feral. Feels in character

More than an intern was good and I liked seeing carl’s life outside of owca.. I feel bad for him. Im glad he got to vocalize some of his feelings

Also the setup and payoff with ferb in more than an intern made me laugh

The Aurora Perry-Alis / Lord of the Firesides

aurora was OK, nice to see monty again! And the scene with Perry and Stacy!!! I liked the song in this episode as well

also why do the Flynn fletchers keep going on cruises. these guys are loaded /silly

I feel like lord of the firesides was fun at first but it was too repetitive if that makes sense… the song was a banger though

The Candace Suit / Agent T (for Teen)

the Candace suit is horrifying. Can’t wait to see more of that freaky thing

Loved seeing buford be a little freak honestly. Loved the continuity regarding the “I have life sized molds of all of my friends”

Why did Isabella make fun of Candace for liking ducky momo

STACY HELPING WITH OWCA / PERRY. ITS ALL WE WANTED. ITS ALL I EVER WANTEDDDDDDDDD YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO NOTES GREAT EPISODE PEAK PEAK PEAK PEAK PEAAAAAKKKK I LOVE AGENT P AND STACY FOREVER AND EVER

The Haberdasher / Out Of Character

I LOVED THE HABERDASHERRR I like learning about the extended OWCA staff! Such a fun episode. For sure going to be one of my faves from this season

Moth doof was weird but in the BEST way possible. reminded me of my OCs (if you know my OCs... you would understand what I mean.)

Out of character was pretty standard but im sad baljeet didn’t actually get a role

Meap Me in St. Louis

sighs heavily. This was for sure my least favorite episode in the season (so far) (I HOPE nothing is worse than this) as someone who really likes the meap saga this episode was such a slap in the face after really looking forward to this :(

What happened to meap’s og actor? Like I understand about Jeremy’s but AFAIK Lorenzo lamas hasn’t done anything crazy. (If he has let me know bc im unaware of it). And WHY did they have to redub the iconic meap soundbite? It was unnecessary… no shame to his new VA but I guess im just so used to the og it caught me off guard. AND WHY DID THEY DITCH THE MUSTACHE TRANSLATORS. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME. HELLO

I just hate how the episode felt like it was trying to meet the requirement of existing rather than actually continue the story? Like, the meta part was fun (AT THE BEGINNING). But it quickly turned annoying and like an excuse to not make things cohesive. Nothing really felt relevant and they just shoehorned each part of the trailer (especially the jerry part).

I liked mitch as per usual and I liked the song that the backyard gang sung (do the tidy up is probably my favorite of the season honestly????), but otherwise it just fell so flat…… meap deserves so much better…

No Slumber Party / The Ballad of Bubba Doof

YEEEEAAAAA VANESSA CANDACE STACY BEING FRIENDS . WE WIN!!! 

The jokes in this episode really landed for me. The friends parody, baljeet falling asleep after his bedtime (so true dude) and Lawrence sleepwalking were all so funny

Ballad of bubba doof was fun, honestly i’m surprised they hadn’t had an episode like this earlier. Ah yes my favorite PnF character: lunch <3

---

Overall, I think the pros were the B plots (all of them were really solid to me, and that’s saying something, because I’m generally more invested in the A plot) and the successful feeling of “more of the same” (in a good way of course). You don’t watch phineas and ferb for something new— well at least I don’t…

Cons were that some jokes that fell flat / went on for too long, and I think there weren’t enough standout songs either. Hopefully as the season goes on we get more iconic song moments.

I can’t wait to watch the rest of the season! I have no doubt that things will find its footing. Its got a really strong start, perhaps I’m just being too nitpicky…

Some things I’d like to see in the future:

More Jeremy?? Please??? Can anyone hear me

Actually just more of the teens overall. Vanessa content… now!!!

I just want to see my favorite guy forever (phineas) sing more OK. Thank you

Also I want another fireside girls centric episode (akin to Isabella and the temple of sap / bee story)

Favorite episodes: The Haberdasher / License to Bust

Least favorite episodes: Meap Me In St. Louis / Chip to the Vet

[thehyperfixationcorner]

Sunny's official hype rating for each episode:

“Summer Block Buster” – The boys decide to ramp up their local summer block party with supersized attractions.

(Hype rating: 8/10. Phineas and Ferb's good at these kinda openers, but it DOES sound a little too much "more of the same". It could also fumble the reasoning for why both Doof and Candace have relapsed. Still, I have high hopes, and the HSM2 opening scene homage could be good!)

“Cloud With a Chance of Mom” – The kids work to save Mom after she is hit by Doof’s inator.

(Hype rating: 10/10. Fr, this sounds like such a promising and different kind of ep, I like it when the kids work together to stop something bad, and finally, a Linda plot that doesn't sound like ass (I don't like Linda, okay)

“Submarine Sandwich Submarine” – The kids build a giant submarine sandwich submarine while Doof steals food.

(Hype rating: 6/10. Doesn't sound THAT amazing, but I love the visual gag of a submarine sandwich submarine.)

“License to Bust” – Candace tries to bust the boys while taking her driving test, and Doof causes chaos in traffic.

(Hype rating: 7/10. A lil simple maybe, but it's a Candace driving ep, and could have a new banger song.)

“Dry Another Day” – The boys build an endless ice luge to beat the heat while Doof brings oil to a waterpark.

(Hype rating: 3/10. Sounds pretty boring tbh, outside of maybe the doof plot.)

“Deconstructing Doof” – Candace and Doof see the same psychologist, who thinks their experiences may be connected.

(Hype rating: 10/10. If they hit the landing this is a new classic.)

“Tropey McTropeFace” – The boys build a giant zoetrope that goes on an adventure of its own.

(Hype rating: 7/10. It sounds very odd and if I had a nickle for every time dwampy used a zoetrope, you know the rest, but hey, at least it sounds interesting too!)

“Biblio-Blast!” – The kids build a massive bookcase that gets attacked by an army of Doof-plants.

(Hype rating: 7/10 too. Like... What could this even be???)

“A Chip to the Vet” – The boys bring Perry to the vet for a checkup and build a pet wash while they wait.

(Hype rating: 9/10. HOW HAVE THEY NOT DONE THIS YET)

“More Than an Intern” – Carl tries to help Perry stop Doof while working three other part-time jobs.

(Hype rating: 9/10. Love my boy Carl, and this feels like a perfect way to give him an episode!)

“The Aurora Perry-Alis” – The Flynn-Fletchers take a cruise while Doof steals shrunken goods.

(Hype rating: 7/10. Normally I hate the PNF Vacation episodes, but this one has a fun Indiana Jones sounding vibe.)

“Lord of the Firesides” – Isabella struggles to lead the Fireside Girls on her own while Doof renews his evil business license.

(Hype rating: 10/10. An Isabella focus ep not about her crush. One that might expand on the fireside girls a bit. GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE)

“The Candace Suit” – Candace puts Mom in a Candace costume in hopes that she’ll finally see the boys’ invention.

(Hype rating: 10/10, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK AND HOW THIS LEADS TO BUFORD IN THE SUIT AND WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHY DID THEY MAKE THIS?!)

“Agent T (for Teen)” – Stacy takes on an agent role with OWCA to rescue Perry from some evil scientists.

(Hype rating: 100/10, INFINITY/10, WORDS DO NOT DESCRIBE. FUCK. YES.)

“The Haberdasher” – After Doof turns into a Mothman and eats Perry’s hat, they pay a visit to the OWCA Haberdasher.

(Hype rating: 10/10. This sounds fucking INSANE, THEY HAVE SOME WILD IDEAS THIS SEASON)

“Out of Character” – The boys build a space adventure film set to help Baljeet learn to act.

(Hype rating: 9/10. Love plots like this, and fun focus ep on Baljeet too!)

[drchucktingle]

DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #1

hello buckaroos chuck tingle here to talk on my book camp damascus. i am very ADVERSE to spoilers and even though i LOVE discussing art i never want to discuss a book too soon, gotta give buckaroos a chance to read. i have been trying to find a balance of WHEN and HOW to have these talks because there is a lot to discover in camp damascus, and i finally think i have found safe way to do this.

i am going to write some posts talkin about various subjects relating to camp damascus themes and symbols and ideas. i will title these posts DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS and give them all the hashtag: "deconstructing damascus". if you do not want to be tempted you can go into your tumblr settings and MUTE hashtag "deconstructing damascus" until you are ready to come back and trot in this way.

i am also going to put all spoiler content below a READ MORE line so that buckaroos will not stumble upon it. you must click below to open these words up.

(EDIT: PART 2 IS HERE)

(EDIT: PART 3 IS HERE)

(EDIT: PART 4 IS HERE)

alright buckaroos lets trot. WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW

DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #1: NEVERLAND

camp damascus is about SEVERAL things thematically, but i think in BROAD STROKES you can narrow this story down to two ideas. the first is about control through infantilizing victims of religious or conservative organizations, keeping them 'young and naive' forever, and the second theme is about taking a story and using the same text to pull out whatever viewpoint you want. in other words, there are MANY readings within a story and us readers see whatever story we want.

i will dive deeper into these topics in later DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS talks, but both of these concepts relate in some way to THIS discussion, which is the story of peter pan and neverland

camp damascus is about text having many interpretations, and so as a sort of META ART PIECE i wanted camp damascus to have many interpretations. i did this by creating thematic layers on top of each other in the SAME STORY, like a cake. in the case of camp damascus we have BIBLICAL LAYER, FAIRYTALE LAYER, and LITERAL LAYER.

today we are going to talk about the fairytale layer.

peter pan is the story of wendy darling, who is whisked away to a magical place known as NEVER NEVER LAND by peter pan, who is an eternally young boy. nobody ever grows up in never never land. in camp damascus we have rose darling, who is a resident of neverton, a small town in montana where all of to children are kept young and naive to their own true adult nature for as long possible. this is done in many ways, for instance all of the KINGDOM OF THE PINE kids act and talk like teenagers when they are technically adults (rose is 20). they are all still in high school due to intervention of the church. the practice of oppressing someones natural sexuality and growth into adulthood a way of keeping them young and 'innocent'. the KINGDOM KIDS are perpetually stuck between childhood and adulthood. when you are reading the book, there should be something about this age and behavior discrepancy that feels a little strange.

to capture this effect i also tried to create a book that was both categorically YA (young adult) and adult horror. there are topics and conversations and situations that should feel like you are reading a 'younger book', then moments of violence and layers of complex themes that feel like an adult book. it should straddle this line in an uncomfortable way.

now to the story itself. camp damascus is NOT a retelling of peter pan in any way. the plots are not the same at all. however it uses peter pan as a literary allusion in order to discuss the themes listed above. these references are to reinforce the idea of keeping buckaroos young and under the churches control by any means necessary.

many do not realize that the original peter pan character was quite a bit more sinister than the cartoon version. here is a quote from the original text about HOW neverland worked to keep the lost boys young:

“The boys on the island vary, of course, in numbers, according as they get killed and so on; and when they seem to be growing up, which is against the rules, Peter thins them out; but at this time there were six of them, counting the twins as two.”

yes CAPTAIN HOOK is the big villain, but peter pan himself is just as brutal. this is where we get PASTOR PETE BEND, the current head of camp damascus. in his own way he is HIP AND COOL AND ETERNALLY YOUTHFUL just like peter pan, but he also falls into the roll of a ruthless captain who will do whatever it takes. to pull apart his name we have pete, as in peter, and bend. what is another word for bend? hook.

kingdom of the pine members wear a red band round their left wrist, which is where the hand of their prophet as severed. you can also note that when pete bend he uses a weapon he uses his left hand, which is pretty notable for someone who is right handed. consider where a certain captains weapon is permanently affixed.

also working for kingdom of the pine and camp damascus, under the direct orders of pete bend, is DR. SMITH. dr smith is a jolly henchmen with a white beard and glasses. despite his drab office he sits in a blue and white striped chair. i should also point out that a version of the name smee is smeeth. just SAYIN.

WILLOW is another interesting one. after her time at camp damascus she gets into photography. she turns to NATURE and TRUTH and as she takes these photos her finger is steady and rhythmic like a clock. click. click. click. click. click. could these photos eventually be the downfall of pete bend?

when we see willow early on she is drinking for a coffee mug with a certain reptile on it. her last name is crogall, which translates to the name of a specific animal in scottish gaelic. rose also goes to meet willow where she lives, one town over from neverton in a little village named lebka rock. i will let the buckaroos figure out what that means.

there is actually much more than this (who is saul for instance?) but i think i have said all that buds need to know to enjoy this layer.

thank you for reading. FEEL FREE TO REBLOG but try not to put spoilers in the tags. i will talk on OTHER aspects of CAMP DAMASCUS soon and i hope this has inspired you to look at the text in a brand new way. LOVE IS REAL

[qoldenskies]

what would ccDonnie be like when he's older in the good timeline?

ooo. thinking specifically as him in like late 20s to early 30s,,,,

i think he would, funnily enough, end up the "nice one" of the four (i think of any of them were that pre-curse it was raph because outside of combat he is noticeably respectful of manners and social rules, and he definitely still comes close in second place in cc). if any of them have kids (not sure if he will? maybe), he'd be the uncle they'd always go to ask to do things, because he'll usually say yes and wont get in hot water for enabling them. he doesn't really act chastising and he's not particularly stern, and there is a bit of that manic glee back. he'll support a little controlled chaos.

he's quiet and a bit of a people-watcher. sometimes the most fun he can have is to step back and watch them all go a little apeshit, without feeling like he's expected to match their energy. he's kind of awkward and quiet around strangers, occasionally standoffish and unintentionally blunt, but once you get him out of his shell a little he's comfortable talking. he'll probably ask a few times if he's talking too much or too loud, but when that energy is fostered he can go on for a long time.

he's still a giver, he's just more open about his intentions, he gets really nervous even well into adulthood when presenting things because that desperation for them to like it is there full-force. still a kicked puppy in the face of perceived rejection. he's pretty introspective and he takes to rationalizing and deconstructing his feelings to cope and self-soothe. he's probably gotten some therapy at this point because i imagine he'd be pardoned from his Various Crimes (<3) due to either the shredder or the kraang, it was just a long and arduous process to get citizenship and find the right one and be able to open up to them. it's not something that entered his life until recently, and it's really been helping.

he likes routines a lot. he's neurotic, still an obsessive cleaner. he likes to bake and his garden just seems to keep growing and growing it's getting out of control. he prefers to plan out his days hour-by-hour out of dislike for surprises and because it means he can plan a lot of outings ahead-- he can handle spontaneity, it just makes him nervous, unless it's a huge disruption, then he gets real upset lol.

talking to him is easy in the way that he's very polite and kind and appeasing, and hard in the way that he's quick to go on tangents and overly explain himself when he thinks he phrased something wrong, or to clarify vague phrasing or etc. he tends to talk in circles and gets nervous when he thinks he's been going on too long. he's effortlessly charming when you can actually get a conversation out of him, so i do think he's well-liked by almost everyone in his life. he's just a very easy person to like, but stressful as fuck to love. he does insist for his own independence and still struggles to reach out unless he needs to, "dont worry about [it/me]" probably comes out of his mouth more than anything else lmfao.

his bite has returned, but its,, subdued. him and raph dont really do it anymore, but he'll joke around with leo. it will come into full force with mikey though. he's the only person he'll get loud and proud around, mostly because the dynamic they've always had doesn't really make mikey get as overtly mean back. he just laughs along with it. the closeness they developed in cw is still very obvious. him and april also back to their older closeness (leo kind of stole his role as april's Official Number One Bestie but donnie TOOK IT BACK AHAHAHA), their relationship has significantly gentled. april likes to do exciting things, but donnie has become the best person to be around when she needs some quiet.

[ilikekidsshows]

Continuing the "mlb sucks as a complex grey morality story that some of the show's defenders claim is intentional and good storytelling" train of thought, mlb simply doesn't have the proper setup to pull this off. Not in terms of Marinette acting ooc (because she really isn't) but because if they wanted to go this direction with the story, they should've signaled it waaaay before the story reached this point.

Take Madoka as a classic example for a magical girl deconstruction. The show does string the audience along about it's true nature for a bit but it shows its hand by the end of episode 3. The show has 12 episodes so that's the 25% mark aka the point of no return aka the end of the first act. The audience now got a taste of exactly what's the tone the story is going for and so they head into the second and third act with proper expectations.

Or look at Steven Universe if we want to look at something more episodic. The first season was very episodic and lighthearted and most of the more complex and grey elements of the story were kept as implications (that would only be elaborated on in later seasons). Then came the finale and season 1 and seriously upped the stakes.

The first episode of season two had Steven react to the events of the finale in a rather realistic way and it's clear the events affected him heavily. This signals the audience that the direction the show is in the show magical adventures can and will have adverse psychological implications on its characters, so when the characters later make bad choices due to their respective damage that still keeps within the tone of the story.

If mlb wanted to pull off the tone switch then at the very LEAST the first episode of s5 should've reflected that this is the kind of story where the protagonist can lose to the main villain they fought for 5 seasons and then go on to enact his will. Obviously some earlier setup in s1 or s2 would've been better, but s5ep1 would've also worked to establish the change in tone for this season. A change of tone that would've felt pretty natural considering the BBEG just got a hella upgrade.

Instead what we get is the heroes trouncing the villain as usual despite all his newfound power, a supposed "wise old man" type character going on about how awesome Ladybug is and groveling for forgiveness for ever doubting it and in general same old akuma fights other than the akumas getting a new gimmick.

The beginning of s5 signals that despite the major loss they just had, everything is going to stay more or less the same tone wise. That's absolutely not the tone they should've gone with if they wanted the end of s5 to launch this complex and grey conflict.

---

Yeah, like, we can't forget that Miraculous has been on the air for eight years and hasn't been rebranded once. At this point, you can't make a smooth transition from straightforward, “don't think about it” type of morality to a complex story of deconstructing the moral values of your hero. Miraculous has a brand identity as a small kids’ show by now, the more actiony cartoon you upgrade to from Paw Patrol. There's a reason the crew behind Teen Titans Go started insisting their series was never meant to have anything to do with the original Teen Titans cartoon when fans got upset at the complete change in direction. You can't claim two completely different shows are actually the same, because that's a lie.

In addition, Miraculous doesn't have a set moral code to deconstruct. Its only value system is “how will this impact Marinette?” because that's the only thing the writers are interested in, and that isn't a morality system at all. Astruc loves to mock fans who criticise him that Miraculous is just too complex for them and to just go back to watching Paw Patrol but at least Paw Patrol has better morals and more consistent lore than Miraculous. Paw Patrol sticks to how things work in-universe and, when new characters get introduced, they dedicate themselves to actually using those characters, something Miraculous only started doing with SEASON 6.

I think season 2 is the sweet spot for most shows that want to break away from being episodic. The first season is the introduction, so viewers often even expect short and compact stories that introduce the characters, world and important lore concepts. The transition to season two is where most shows settle on what they wanna be and do. Steven Universe settled on its expanding universe at that point. Transformers Prime settled on what kinds of stories it wanted to tell at that point. Avatar the Last Airbender started properly focusing on recurring plot elements at that point. And what did Miraculous do that that point? It settled on "some elements from previous episodes might pop up again but nothing will actually change".

At this point, I’d say Paw Patrol is more complex than Miraculous. You could deconstruct Paw Patrol with the stuff they’ve given you. Miraculous doesn’t have anything to deconstruct because the show is that basic and formulaic, except for the writers’ pet protagonist. The only thing Miraculous could possibly deconstruct is its core value of “Marinette must always get the most sympathy” because this show has nothing else with any substance to it. It’s all just smoke and mirrors to make the audience think progress and important things are happening. That’s what all these villain powerup fakeouts are all about, they make you think something cool is going to happen, even as the heroes keep doing the same stuff as always. What whole Miraculous box at Gabriel’s command? It might as well not exist for all the importance it had. What evil cabal of mystery villains? It might as well not exist for all the importance it will surely have.

[mysterystarz]

just keep falling for

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x g!n reader

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, boatload of an oblivious but perceptive reader, kuroo really doesn’t know how to get the obvious out and reader cannot really tell him they know what he means

notes: rewatching hq and i literally fell in love w everyone again — dedicated to all kuroo fans, not proofread at all

also i haven’t written in so long so my style is all over the place so pls critique me and also my hand slipped

reblogs and opinions are appreciated &lt;3

kuroo was taking an awfully long time in the locker room.

standing in the gym, you watched as the first years helped with deconstructing the volleyball nets for the day. while you offered your help, they politely declined, suggesting you wait to accompany their captain out to advertise their great work.

normally, kuroo was quick. any jokes that happened inside the locker room were quick to reach your ears, and you knew how much he tried to include you in everything.

you leaned against the wall, watching the clock tick for a whole minute before opting to pace around the gym.

little did you know, kuroo was having a meltdown inside the locker room.

“kuroo!” yaku yelled, brandishing his towel. “you need to get a grip. stop freaking out. you’re supposed to be the composed one!”

“seriously kuroo,” kenma agreed, “why are you acting so surprised. it’s not like this is new news.”

“guys,” kuroo began, raking a finger through his hair, “this messes up everything.”

“is this about y/n?” lev asked, finally entering the locker room. “did kuroo finally do something about that crush?”

“enough!” kuroo sighed, sitting down at one of the benches. in the span of the last ten minutes, kuroo had one of the most dramatic realizations of his life.

he liked you.

you, his best friend and his other half. you, who cheered for him at every game and even lended him cool analogies to use in captains speeches. you, who stole his jacket and ran away from him, leaving him to chase you as far as the two of you could run.

he wasn’t sure what had changed. somehow, you’d entered his head, and with every pump of his heart, you sunk deeper and deeper into his bloodstream.

“did you seriously not know?” yaku asked gently, “because if you ask us, it was obvious from the very start. you hold them in such high regard.”

“i didn’t,” he admitted, turning to meet yaku’s eyes. “i didn’t know and now, i don’t know what to do. we’ve been friends for ages….i don’t even think they see me that way.”

“just tell them kuroo,” kenma said, not looking up from his console. “they like you a lot, they’re not going to say no.”

the team voiced their agreement, and began to file out of the locker room at last.

“sorry to keep you waiting,” he smiled, meeting your gaze as he walked out of the locker room.

“no problem,” you said, returning a grin of your own. “was there something going on in there?”

“nahhhhh,” he laughed, “someone was just having a meltdown about how to do a proper confession.”

“confession?” you rose a brow, and kuroo silently cursed himself for letting such a specific detail slip.

for a moment, you were stunned. as you walked, you considered all the possibilities.

you knew lev had been racking up quite the fanbase through his games, and you also knew how yaku was starting to branch out a bit more. if kenma had a prospective partner, you would’ve already heard of it by now.

unless…unless it was kuroo having the meltdown.

you pondered this detail as you walked out of the school doors, holding them open for your lanky best friend.

“hey dork,” you began, “who are you planning on confessing to? it was your meltdown, right?”

kuroo felt his heart drop in his chest. curse you and your quick connections.

“what makes you think the meltdown was mine?”

“because i would’ve known about everyone else,” you smiled confidently. “you would’ve told me.”

kuroo simply looked at you, distracted by your smile and the way it lit up your eyes. if only he could put it into words.

you had a way of making him nervous.

“i’d tell you details if you stopped smiling at me like that. too bright — it’s hurting my eyes.” he teased.

what he didn’t expect was for you to laugh and immediately drop your smile, transitioning to a serious face.

“tell me now,” you huffed, “i deserve to know who’s on your mind these days.”

he sighed.

if there was one thing worse than your uncanny ability to read his mind, it was the lack of that ability to tell that you were the only person he ever thought about.

kuroo got home, resting his bag on the floor of his room and immediately dialing kenma. he picked up in an instant, and kuroo couldn’t help but be thankful for his setter.

“kenma,” he sighed, “this is like one of your games. impossible.”

“let me guess. y/n didn’t catch a hint?”

“they know it’s me” he groaned, “they know i had the meltdown. they know there’s someone in my head. they keep trying to ask me who it is, but i can’t just say ‘it’s you’ can i?”

“being direct is actually a good idea.” kenma suggested, “go retry that level kuroo. maybe you’ll have some luck this time.”

with that, kenma hung up, leaving kuroo frenzied with an emotion that felt a lot like hope.

sitting and staring out the window, you wondered if now was a good time to acknowledge your growing crush on nekoma’s middle blocker.

he was everything you could ever ask for. thoughtful, sweet, laughably charming, and with a nerdy twist that made him a dork and undeniably your other half.

it didn’t help how handsome he’d become over the years either. he’d gotten taller and taller, his eyes golden and his hair endearingly messy. he was solid from all the days spent practicing, and after every embrace, you were left craving more.

as much as you didn’t want to admit your discomfort, the sensation hovered over you like a fog.

the idea of kuroo having feelings for someone else was bittersweet. you adored him — you really did, and his happiness was yours.

but….you couldn’t help but wish that you could both be happy. that he’d see you the way you’d always seen him.

someone to just keep falling for.

the next morning, kuroo came to grab you from your house for the daily walk to school. he’d made an effort to make sure his tie was on incorrectly in the hopes that you’d fix it for him.

you greeted him at the door, breaking into a grin upon seeing his disheveled state.

“come inside,” you sighed, dragging him by the hand into the foyer. he stood patiently as you reached for his tie, straightening out the edges and meticulously smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt.

“it’s almost like we’re married.” he teased, happy at the flustered expression that shot onto your features. “what? cat got your tongue?”

“shut up tetsu.”

“i don’t want to.” he said, looking into your eyes. he hoped that there was something conveyed in the silent space between you. the tenseness was all but palpable.

“oh.” you whispered, cupping his cheek. “so this is your confession? a messy tie and a lot of cheek.”

“of course,” he smirked, “you’re the only person i’d do that for.”

©mysterystarz all rights reserved, please do not plagiarize, translate, or modify my fics in any way even if credited

[leuke-rants]

Webtoon female leads that I cannot stand (part 1):

5) Lariette Blanche (I thought my time was up)

This woman is so annoying and obnoxious, I can't stand her.

Now don't get me wrong, at first her actions make sense: she thinks she that she has only a few months to live so she tries to make the best out if her remaining life

But becoming a guys girlfriend for only 6 months is hella messed up and selfish.

The man she chose is guy who suffers from a curse that rots his flesh and she has healing powers that help with the rot. Abandoning said guy after 6 months would be extremely messed up

I know that Lariette isn't actually dying, so she won't abandon the ml, but holy fuck, she is so obnoxious and creepy trying to make him like her

She ignores his boundaries that he had clearly set from the beginning of their relationship and then she throws a toddler level tantrums when he doesn't act the way she wants him to. Hell, she even hits him a few times. I don't care what anyone says, this is abuse!

Lariette is also a hypocrite. When a guy flirts with her and doesn't take no for an answer, she snaps at him and tells him that "no is no", even if she herself has never cared about the ml telling her to go slow and not to touch him.

She is such an annoying protagonist, I can't stand her her ass

4) Hestia (For my derelict favourite)

As a greek, I feel hella offended about her name. This character does not deserve to be named after our Goddess.

Hestia is very similar to Lariette, she is obnoxious, annoying and wants things to always go her way.

She could have easily lived a normal and peaceful life with her favourite character, but instead she decides to be all over the original fl's business, because she has the incel mentality that Diana owns Cael a relationship because he killed for her, even if Diana never asked him to do anything. The saintess doesn't like murder, I know, shocking news 😒

Hestia is suppose to be a fl in a story that deconstructs the typical manhwa cliches and storylines, but she isn't any different that the others

She is always in the right and the og fl is nothing compared to her. Everyone who loves Hestia is a good person and everyone who hates her is the scum of the earth that deserves to die. Everything just so happens to work out for her because she is the main character and gets exactly what she wants in the end, with only the plot armour protecting her.

I don't have anything alse to say about Hestia, she is a bad protagonist in a bad story

3)Ariande (Sister I am the Queen in this life)

This woman pissed me off so much that I wish I could go into the comic just to beat her up

Ariande is even more annoying that Lariette and Hestia combined. Her "woe is me" personality makes me unreasonably mad, especially when she acts like a spoiled brat who thinks she deserves good things just because she suffered, even if that suffering was her fault and her fault alone

She murdered the king and helped a man usarp the throne in her previous life, but she did it out of love, so it's ok.

The Golden Rule gives a new chance at life to fix her mistakes, but she decided to be as evil as she was in her previous life. Although I understand that she does most of the things because she wants to survive, some of them (like threatening a maid who doesn't like her) are completely unnecessary and if the Golden Rule worked properly she would have been punished long time ago

She is also a huge hypocrite. She claims that poor people don't deserve a chance to become better and don't deserve to be in heaven because of the mistakes they did in their previous, even if Ariande herself was a murderer in her previous life, but it's ok for her to still live in luxury and go to heaven because she is the fl

The only reason this woman is able to secure Ws is because the author decided to lobotomize Isabella. If Ariande was dealing with the Isabella of her previous life she wouldn't stand a chance and the comic would be over in 5 chapters

2)Navier Trovi (The Remarried Empress)

It kinda hurts to put Navier on the list, but I can't help it

Navier was interesting in the beginning, I could understand her struggles and I could empathise with her. Only for me to despise her later on

For one thing, Navier is one of the biggest Mary Sues I have ever seen on webtoon. She is the perfect empress, everyone loves her, and those who don't are all evil leeches who deserve to get tortured and die, she manages to triumph over all her opponents and everything just works out for her without her putting too much effort

Navier has the personality of a wet towel, she is too perfect and the author clearly wants us to see her as such, because all of her flaws are either not acknowledged or are completely ignored.

She is also a massive hypocrite. She didn't like being replaced as empress, but had no problem taking another woman's title. She made such a huge deal about her husband cheating on her, but had not problem when her brother cheated on his fiancé with her lady in waiting. She never gave a shit about slavery until it was one of her simps who got enslaved, suddenly it's bad.

I can go on and on about how Navier is a terrible person and a badly written character, but we'd be here all day. I just despise the way she is written in later seasons and hate the fact that she basically allows criminals to get away with their crimes, so long as said criminal is one of her allies and it benefits her

1) Ariana de Secramise (The Princess's Jewels)

Take every bad thing I said about the previous fls and crank it up to maximum because this is how bad Ariana is

She is the biggest Mary Sue that I have ever seen on webtoon and in general. She is so beautiful that everyone wants her, everyone including her brother gets charmed by her and even the ladies fall for her. She is a prodigy who is an expert at swordfighting to the point where she can beat knights and war generals and her magic powers are second to none.

The author and the narrative go out of their way to present Ariana as a goddess in disguise who has no flaws, even her entire existence is just flaws.

She is swallow character with the personality of a dry wall. Her only characteristic is the fact that she simps for hot men and wants to create a harem. She doesn't have any other personality traits other than horny and she doesn't have any other goals other than to get into men's pants. The only reason she wants to become empress is so that she could legally have a harem and that's it.

She is also a huge hypocrite. She feels disgusted by a man who uses his title and power to sleep with women, even she does the exact same thing.

Ariana took a general from a foreign country, a general who told her that is attached to the queen and king since they took care of him, but our princess didn't give a shit about it. She basically kidnapped a dude, threatening war with his country if he doesn't submit to her. It's bad when an ugly fat man is a abusing his power to get some laid but totally fine when the beautiful girlboss protagonist does it.

Again, I can go on an on about how awful of a character Ariana is, but we'd be here all day.