#according to the coworker who came up to me with the idea about it in a rush

[sleepinglionhearts]

here, have some of the things that have been in my sketchbooks for a while

[unhingedgirlythings]

FUCK IT

SUMMERY : Reader gets her date interrupted when Hotch calls up asking for her to get to the BAU. Reader rushes over still dressed up and a certain dr can’t keep her eyes off her teehee.

Tags:fem reader , a huge amount of awkwardness, reader is over her love life

A/N: I WANTED AWKWARD SPENCER REID, bare with me tho cuz I haven’t written a fanfic since I was 13 and it was horrible so please be kind and let me know your thoughts :))) enjoyyy.

——————///—————///--——————///——————

You were used to your phone ringing at the WORST possible times, I mean with your job that was something you just had to prepare yourself for. Serial killers don’t take a break just so you can have a girls night out or take a nice relaxing bath after a long day. Although never in your life did you imagine the wave of relief that would wash over you as the all too familiar ringtone blared from your phone. Normally you would groan and feel your body grow more exhausted whilst hesitantly picking up the phone, but not tonight. Nope. Fortunately for hotch, you couldn’t have answered the phone faster. “what’s up” low and behold hotch was on the other end requesting your presence ASAP!

You tried to hide your glee as you glanced over at the douche-ist blind date that the great quote on quote “matchmaker” of the century Garcia, had raved on about the week before. To be fair the date didn’t start off bad, it was actually the most decent one you’ve had yet. Honestly you were ready to finally praise Penelope for actually finding you a decent man to take your mind off the unrequited school girl crush that you had on a certain “kid” genius. somehow you escaped the dude who clearly was stuck in some frat boy mindset, well not without some snarky comment made towards you which you shut down a little harsher then needed but seriously you couldn’t hold back anymore, you had no idea what possessed Penelope into thinking you would EVER consider going home with the king of fucking douchebags (most likely the biceps and tight clothing that the man sported). Nevertheless here you were speeding down the freeway, thinking way too hard about your love life completely blanking and forgetting to drop by your apartment to quickly change into something more work appropriate.

Before you knew it you’ve parked your car, walking into the cold air. A shiver runs down your body and the shock hits you when you realize. Here you are in a little skimpy black dress that clings to your curves in “just the right way” according to Penelope before shoving you out into your car heading to that horrible excuse of a date, “ahh shit. Fucken seriously! Of course this is just my luck … I mean at least I look good” groaning and mumbling to yourself, you make your way into the building. You knew Hotch would be understanding, I mean you never know when you’re gonna be called in and it sounded urgent so yeah, sometimes you and your coworkers walk in with inappropriate work wear. You will never forget the time he called everyone in at god knows what time, Spencer had walked into the room with his pjs sporting a fluffy dress robe, you seriously thought someone was going to have to perform cpr on you that night.

Walking into the building in heels was definitely a pain in your ass, but you managed as you pushed the briefing room door open. A low wolf whistle from Derek Morgan was the last thing you needed right now “damn sweetheart, who knew you could clean up so nicely“ As you make your way into the room, you playfully roll your eyes at him.“haha very funny” you cringed as everyone’s attention was now drawn to you. while taking a seat next to JJ, wishing to be wearing literally anything else “Sorry Hotch, i came straight from..” you hesitate for a second, glancing around before continuing “A date, but this sounded important so I didn’t have time to change”The stoned faced man simply nods at you “It’s fine. You're here, right now we have a lot to cover” He starts debriefing the team, leaving no detail out of the case, no matter how brutal, you tried your hardest to give him your unwavering attention, but you could feel someone’s eyes on you. And out of the corner of your eye see him. Spencer.

His stare was hot and intense, and fuck was it making you become a flustered mess. You glanced at him from your peripheral trying your best to be subtle about it, it was getting harder and harder to focus on Hotch and the case, not Reid. But when his puppy dog eyes drifted up, down and all over your body, your body involuntarily reacted, slightly squirming in your seat. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes turn and lock onto his gorgeous brown ones, a smirk graces your lips as he finally notices your eyes now on him. Looking like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he turns pink from the embarrassment and shame of being caught, and god did that make your head spin. Now it was his turn to awkwardly squirm in his seat while staring at Hotch with all his attention. You giggle under your breath at his fumbling awkwardness. Before you know it everyone around you starts to pack up their things and stand up, leaving you confused. Of course you spent the whole debriefing paying so little attention to the case and more on Spencer.

Sighing, you pull the hem of your dress down as you stand trying to save yourself from even more embarrassment. “soooo how did it go? Was he as yummy as you’d hoped?” Garcia wraps her arms around yours as you try not to stumble down the stairs towards your desk “you, my love are officially banned from meddling in my love life” you could already hear the trail of complaints bouncing around in her head as you plopped down onto your desk chair, reaching for the new case folder hoping to catch yourself up before take off in the morning “aww come on I for sure thought you’d be jumping his bones, all those rippling muscles, who In Their right mind could resist” the thought of the man you had seen a few hours prior put a foul taste in your mouth, causing your face to scrunch up in disgust “he was a complete dick, he legit referred to himself as an “alpha male” AN ALPHA ,Only thing I wanted to jump , was off a building at that point” a defeated look from her was all the conformation you needed, no longer were you going on blind dates, and your love life was back to being non existent and sad “sorry Pen I tried, I really really tried, you just have horrific taste in men like my god do we need to get you some help. These guys are basically human garbage” whilst looking up your eyes naturally drift and settle on Spencers desk frowning as you watch him, his heads buried in the case file whilst obsessively jotting down notes like some multitasking god, your heart couldn’t help but pine after his more, the looks you shared moments before didn’t help your case either. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you drag your eyes away trying to spare yourself from going into one of your Spencer Reid spirals. You look up at Penelope already disliking the pitiful look she was giving you “are you sure your ready to give up?, I mean I know this cute guy who would be super into you, he's just your type “the new voice startled you, turning in your seat you’re met with Emily smirking down at you whilst leaning against your desk inserting herself into the conversation with JJ beside her “wow ok fun, are we all just gonna just dive head first into my personal life?, don’t we have a case to work on?” trying to deter the subject of the conversation off of you was a bust, as the women you call friends gleam down at you with a shared look “yeah no this is too entertaining to sit out on.” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now, letting out a groan you leaned back in your chair covering your face in hopes of hiding the redness in your cheeks “sweetheart, what you need is a good ol one night stand, get a certain pretty boy out of your system” if you weren’t already melting into a puddle of embarrassment, you definitely were now “Morgan shut up please for the love of everything holy”

you could only pray Spencer wasn’t paying attention to the little group that was forming at your desk, maybe he was being good and reading the case file like the rest of them should be doing but of course luck wasn’t in your favor tonight “what are we talking about?” Before you could shut the whole conversation down Morgan happily answered Spencer “oh, we were just discussing Y/L/N’s love life. I think she needs a good root, what do you think?” that stupid smirk Morgan was happily wearing was enough to make your blood boil, now you truly wished to disappear “ok ok that’s enough” you shoot up from your seat avoiding any eye contact with Spencer not wanting to see his reaction to your humiliating red face “conversation over, my love life is going back to being non existent, thank you for your concern but it’s over, officially dead so no more talking about it.” you snatch the file off your desk ready to get the hell out of whatever situation you found yourself in “i'm going home to at least get some sleep before we leave tomorrow or I’ll be a zombie all day” with that you hastily made your way out of the building and into the cool night air once again.

wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes to provide some warmth, you slowly make your way to the car park. Before you could make it to your car you could hear foot steps getting closer and closer until they were right behind you, stopping along with yours once you had reached front of your car. Quickly spinning around you slam them onto the car's hood, arm in your hand, face down and pinned.

“Ow ow ow ow Ow!” Shit. It was Spencer. The man you’ve been daydreaming about and here you were pinning him to the hood of your car. “oh shit sorry, my god, don’t walk up on me like that holy shit Spence you scared me” you pull away off him whilst letting go of his arm and backing away a little. Spencer lets out a hiss of pain as he pushes himself off the hood, rubbing his arm to try and relieve the pain “sorry I was just trying to make sure you got to your car safely. It’s late a-and” he looks at your dress whilst clearing his throat looking away awkwardly “are you ok? you seemed upset in there” he looks back at you whilst giving you a smile that made you wanna pass away on the spot “yeah I’m ok, just having your dating life put on full blast in front of the team like that can be a tad embarrassing” silence was the only response you were met with, you glance up at Spencer trying to think of something, anything to say in this moment “you look really nice by the way, it’s unfortunate your date turned out that way.” His eyes meet yours, your breath gets caught in your throat as heat creeps up your neck to your face “t-thanks” tugging on the hem of your dress you smile sheepishly “not the most comfortable outfit, honestly wish Pen let me wear my sweater but you know”

“Penelope” you both say, you giggle as Spencer chuckles. “Oh by the way, I thought you may want these, may help a little tomorrow” he hands you the notes he took from the briefing, Your fingertips brush against his, the feeling of warmth from his hands sends a shiver down your spine. “Thanks Spence. I appreciate it” you stand there longer than needed before you start to turn away from him. “You know, that even though there aren't any hard statistics, it’s roughly estimated that every 1 in 3 or 4 blind dates actually end up as a success” he rambles on, looking back at him you try to pay attention but you can’t stop your eyes from sifting down towards his lips “so there is a chance” his voice fades away as his words become background noise and your thoughts become louder and louder, all you could think about was him, the feeling of wanting only grew stronger with each passing minute. It didn’t help that his lips were tempting you, calling you in. you couldn’t hold yourself back much longer, will power growing weaker and weaker “fuck it” your body moves before commen sense had its time to put a stop to whatever ridiculous thoughts you had muster up, suddenly your lips press onto his without thinking it through. It was short and one sided yet sweet, the faint taste of coffee and sugar overwhelmed your senses

The sudden realization hits you hard as you push yourself off Reid, the feelings of regret and fear settles itself in your stomach making you feel sick “Sorry I wasn’t thinking, shit sorry, forget that happened ok” you back away keeping your eyes glued to the ground in fear that you’ll look up and only see rejection written on his face. What in the hell possessed you to do that?, why the fuck did you do that, the only reason you kept your feelings shoved down was to protect your friendship with Spencer, nothing meant more to you then the bond you both shared and now you’ve ruined it and for what? A stupid kiss? “wait, uh No no it was just unexpected I didn’t hate it actually quite the opposite” your head snaps back up at a red faced flustered Spencer Reid “don't apologize“ his warm hands warp around your cold ones as he steps closer to you once again “did you um maybe want to try that again? Only if you want to though I don’t want you to regret anything” you giggle as he starts to nervously stumble over his words, this time more confident in your actions your lips find his for the second time tonight.

The taste of coffee meets your lips again as your body relaxes into the kiss, which is very reciprocated this time. The warmth radiating from Spencer chases the cold night air away. As your bodies shuffle closer together. you both hesitantly pull away from each, you wanted to stay here in this moment for as long as possible but of course your bed was calling your name along with the early flight departure. “I should go” you really didn’t want to “I know“ his hands stayed on your waist for a moment before slipping away “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” the sweet look on his face drove you crazy, the urge to say fuck it and stay with him for the remainder of the night was overpowered by the sleepless night before, you settle for placing a goodnight kiss on his cheek instead “night Spence” winking you open your car door and make your way in, you turn the car on and roll the window down to call out to him as he backs away with a smug smirk on his face “sweet dreams pretty boy” with that you drive away replaying the events of tonight in your mind, god you couldn’t wait to get the case over with so you could finally have a date that wasn’t going to end in ruins, especially with the man you’ve been crushing on since your first day, yeah no you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight now.

[steveseddie]

asking for a friend

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles | prompt: shopping | rating: t | wc: 1000 | tags: modern setting, meet-cute, steve works at target, eddie is a gay disaster, chrissy & eddie are best friends

read on ao3

Eddie hates Christmas shopping.

Every year he puts it off for as long as he can only to end up at fucking Target on December 23rd surrounded by screaming children, mean parents, annoyingly loud Christmas music and more desperate last-minute shoppers.

This year is no exception but Eddie does have someone else to blame.

Steve. Target’s hottest employee.

Eddie saw him for the first time a few weeks ago. He was at the cash register, looking both sexy and adorable in a tight red shirt and a Santa hat as he wished customers a Merry Christmas with a smile that made Eddie’s knees weak.

Knowing that he’d probably embarrass himself if he tried to talk to him, Eddie left the store, flustered and giftless.

A few days later, he came back and the guy– Steve, according to his name tag– was greeting people at the entrance. Eddie didn’t even make it inside that time.

He made a few more attempts but Steve was always there. Restocking toys, fixing the decorations, dressing up mannequins. And every time, Eddie turned on his heel and left.

As Christmas approached, Eddie started getting desperate so he gave Chrissy twenty dollars to find out when Steve wouldn’t be working. She welcomed the money and the excuse to talk to Steve’s coworker, and told Eddie that Steve wouldn’t be here today. And even if Eddie hated the idea of shopping on Christmas Eve Eve, it was his only option.

At least he only has one gift left.

So of course that’s when Eddie sees him. Steve helping a little girl reach a Barbie from the highest shelf.

“What the fuck?” Eddie mutters, hiding behind a mannequin. He peeks around it to make sure he isn’t imagining things, after all he’s been thinking about Steve a lot lately so maybe–

Nope, that’s definitely Steve. He’d recognize that ass in those pants anywhere after watching him through the store’s windows.

“What the fuck?” Eddie repeats, balancing the gifts in one hand so he can call Chrissy.

“Hello?”

Eddie growls. “Chrissy, you bitch.”

“Hello to you too, Eddie.”

“Don’t be cute,” he snaps. “You’re a liar.”

“What?” She asks, confused. “Wait, where are you? I can barely hear you.”

Hell. “Buying Christmas presents.” Same thing really.

“Isn’t it a little late for that?”

“Duh! But I had to wait until Steve wasn’t working, remember? Well, guess who’s here?”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I might’ve– gotten a little distracted talking to Robin and couldn’t remember if he said the 21st or the 23rd. Whoops.”

“You had one job, Cunningham!” Eddie groans. “I want my twenty dollars back.”

“Sorry, I spent them already.“

“On what?”

“Your Christmas present,” she giggles. “Hey, maybe this is a good thing. Talk to him!”

“Fuck no, I’m leaving. Fuck Christmas, it’s a capitalist consumerist ploy anyway.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” she says but Eddie is already heading for the exit.

“I’m not! I just don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“Eddie–”

But Eddie doesn’t hear what Chrissy has to say because in that moment he knocks over a pyramid of toys and faceplants amidst the boxes, his phone and his gifts flying from his hands.

Eddie groans, both from the pain and the embarrassment. He can feel his face already starting to burn and he seriously considers staying there, buried in toys, forever.

At least until someone says, “Christ, are you okay?” and Eddie has no choice but to roll over only to immediately wish he didn’t when he sees Steve leaning over him.

“I’m fine,” he mutters. “What are you doing here?”

Steve offers Eddie his hand, his eyebrow raised in amusement. “Helping you?”

“I mean, here,” Eddie gestures around them. “You aren’t supposed to be working today.”

“That’s not what my manager told me,” Steve jokes while clearly confused.

“It’s what Chrissy told me,” Eddie says, letting Steve effortlessly pull him to his feet.

“Chrissy? The blonde who flirted with Robin?” He asks. “I was confused why she wanted to know if I had any days off.”

Eddie hangs a hand from his neck. “She didn’t. I did.”

Steve frowns. “So you could avoid me? Is that why you never came in or bought anything?”

“It’s just that I always embarrass myself in front of hot guys and I was trying to avoid that!” Eddie sighs. “Obviously, I failed.” Then he realizes what Steve just said and blinks. “Wait, you noticed me?”

Steve’s lips stretch into a flirty grin. “Of course, I always notice cute guys.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, hiding his blush by tugging some hair across his face.

Still grinning, Steve bends down to pick up Eddie’s gifts. “So, want me to ring these up for you?”

Eddie gestures at his mess. “What about the toys?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell Jason to clean it up,” Steve smirks. “He’s our newest hire. And he’s a dick.”

Eddie chuckles. “Okay.”

They bring the gifts to the cash register and Eddie tries not to blatantly check Steve out as he does his job. Steve’s wink probably means he fails.

“All done!” He says, giving Eddie his bag and the receipt. “Merry Christmas–”

“Eddie.”

Steve grins lopsidedly. “Eddie.”

“Thanks, um, Merry Christmas.” He waves awkwardly.

Then thinks, fuck it. He already embarrassed himself anyway. “Hey, uh, when do you get off?”

“Asking for a friend?” Steve teases.

“Nope.”

Steve’s face splits into a grin. “I’m done in an hour.”

“Wanna get coffee with me? There’s a nice cafe a few blocks away.”

“I’d love to,” Steve says, “I put my number in the receipt, text me and I’ll tell you when I’m on my way.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up, he checks the receipt and chuckles. “Cool,” he says, stomach fluttering as he walks away, almost knocking over another toy display because he can’t stop glancing back at Steve.

But he makes it out without embarrassing himself and he has all his gifts and a date with a hot guy.

Maybe Christmas shopping isn’t so bad after all.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for purposely ruining a woman's hair?

I (19f) am a licensed hairdresser fulltime. A bit of backstory My best friend (same age) got married this year to a man who is older than 28 but younger then 35. I tried to discourage her and explained that the age gap is fucked considering the guy is the same age as my mom (like if my mom dated someone my age it would be fucked and my friend said that but its fine because "we grew up with him" and i said that made it worse).

He actually was my neighbor for most of my life. He wasn't a bad person, always seemed good, but obviously I dont think highly of him now. We all went to similar events like festivals and saw each other, but we never hung out. He saw me and my best friend a lot together and when we became 17 he started talking to her. It was a whole "meetcute" story according to my friend. Neighbor who she saw and thought was cute for years happened to invite her over in the pouring rain because I got delayed and didn't meet her at my house in time and her parents had already dropped her off.

They started dating the day she turned 18 and got married soon after she was 19.

Mary, the mother of my neighbor and now my best friends MIL (turning 50f) has been vocal about not liking me for literally my whole life. I've been called trouble, a nuisance, trash, etc. Made slutshaming comments because I got a belly button ring, called me a exotic dancer to my face because I was dancing and shaking my hips and butt, and then a whore when I wore a tank top and shorts...just The stereotypical "Christian" white woman.

Mary is talking constantly to my friend, her son adding in, that I'm a bad influence and now my friend is pulling away.

Well long story short (too late i know sorry want to give background info but it turned out to be like a lot) Mary came into the shop. She asked for a cut and color and I was the only one available. She visibly sneered but agreed and made snide comments the entire time I tried to figure out what she wanted. She wanted red. A natural red. And I was going to do it, but then she said I needed to make sure I washed my hands so I didn't get her dirty and then when I glared at her and asked what she meant by dirty because my hands were clean she laughed and said "oh I didn't mean no offense sweetie".

So I went and brought out the book that has hair color samples and stsrt showing her reds. I asked her if she wanted E3 or 5A for example, those aren't at all but you get the idea. She said she wanted red, so I went "oh like 4A" which was FIRE HYDRANT red. I knew she wanted naturalish and NOT that but she verbalized yes yes that 4A.

So I did. It came out bright red and she started yelling and screaming. My coworkers heard her say which one she wanted and we pulled the book out and showed her thats what she had verbalized, so I'm off the hook.

But now im like...that was a bit mean? I mean she can redye it, and my work gave her a discount. I didnt chop her hair off or do anything out of what she asked, but I know damn well she didn't want that. My friend texted me really upset accusing me and I played dumb. She's already pulling away from me and now I feel its going to be worse because of this...aita?

What are these acronyms?

[captain-mj]

Graves obsessed with Price killing Shepherd VS. Price obsessed with Graves in that suit FIGHT

No but seriously, I'm loving this, thank you for always being the fucking boss when it comes to PriceGraves

I like to think when Graves does find out Price has been jerkin it to him in the suit, he gets offended because that's not even his best suit! So he just casually puts on his best one and takes some definitely not work appropriate photos in it and leaves them on Price's desk as a thank you for killing Shepherd :3

I'm combining like... so many people's asks into this because I got a ton of asks along this idea! I hope everyone likes it <3

Graves knew that Price had killed Shepherd. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. Nor did it come as a shock that he found it attractive. Murder was always a good turn on for him.

No, the true surprise of the night was that Price found him attractive in a suit. And that none of his friends (coworkers? Family?? Graves was unsure) were unhappy about this.

Right now, they were trying to do an... intervention? Of some kind? They were currently going over a list of his crimes to date, most of which were stuff they had also done, just framed in a significantly worse light..

Graves was wearing a suit at the moment, having been wearing one for a meeting that he was going to have with Farah and a few higher ups in the Russian government. It was supposed to be just a few things to smooth over everything and she thought his presence might be helpful. Alex would also be there and he was also in a suit. Apparently Gaz had been particularly excited about it. Not excited enough to overlook Price's... interest though.

He was listening to them talk to Price about all of the bad things. They tried to get Alex to pitch in but he just vouched that Graves was a pretty nice guy, just goal oriented. When he had a mission, he didn't stop.

Graves appreciated the comments. He looked at himself, thinking about his much more expensive, much more fitted suit. They had only gotten through Ghost, the least talkative one, in the time that Graves was listening, so he took this as an opportunity.

Graves went back to his room and got redressed. He put on some cufflinks, even added a few rings. This was his chance to maybe get Price as obsessed with him as he was.

They had moved on to Soap who was ranting at length about the fact that Graves shot Soap in the shoulder, which wasn't even correct because technically it was one of his Shadows.

Graves waltzed in, pretending to be fixing his sleeves. "Alex, I think the time zones got me a bit messed up. How long until our meeting?" He glanced at them and he made sure to look... unimpressed.

Price grabbed his jacket and immediately put it in his lap. Graves almost smirked, but instead, he just glanced around at them.

Soap and Gaz looked defeated. Graves wasn't good enough at reading Ghost to figure out his expression. He thought it was acceptance honestly. Ghost had known Price the longest according to what he had heard and he must know what Price looked for.

Graves talked to Alex for another moment, hearing Gaz whisper shout at Price "Really?? You're bricked up right now??"

Alex answered, clearly trying not to smile. "Actually, we should probably go now. We'll be back in two hours, guys."

Graves waved at them and if he made sure to make eye contact with Price, fluttering his eyelashes before leaving, Alex close behind.

Alex waited until they were out of earshot of the two of them. "He's down bad."

Graves smiled. "Yeah... Might have to take him on a date. Think if I treat him somewhere fancy, he'll let me take him home?"

"On the first date?? Probably if you wore a suit."

-

Graves groaned as he came home. The meeting ran late but he was excited to be home to take a shower. He went to take off his jacket before Price cleared his throat.

Graves glanced at him, in the dark, beanie on and in civvies. "Was this what Shepherd saw in his last moments?" He motioned to him.

Price nodded and took a puff of his cigar. "Yeah, it was. Different shirt though."

"Ah..." Graves felt his mouth go dry. He was so hot it made his head dizzy.

"Am I making you nervous, Commander?"

"Not at all, Captain. I'm actually glad I'm talking to you."

Price leaned back and spreading his legs a little more, as if getting comfy. "Really?"

"Interested in dinner with me?"

Price's expression didn't change as he slowly took another drag. He was luckily Graves didn't mind cigar smoke. "I wouldn't mind it."

"There a particular reason you covering your lap right now?"

Price didn't look away. "You're sexy in those suits. You changed on purpose."

"Knew you'd see right through me, even if your team can't." Graves slid his jacket off, not missing the way his eyes lingered. "Be nice to me and I'll wear a suit on our date."

Price laughed softly. "Right..." He stood up and walked closer, clearly looking Graves up and down. They were both too confident. Headstrong. Ambitious.

The sex was going to be mindblowing.

"I look forward to our date, Commander."

"I said dinner. Not a date."

Price's eyes widened a little, reminding Graves of the puppies in commercials. Quickly, he corrected himself. "Of course it's a date, Captain. I'll see you tomorrow night?"

Price nodded but he took a moment to admire the view before leaving.

[papurgaatika]

Knead Me, Need You

Pairing: Massage Therapist! Joel Miller x F! Reader

Summary: you were overworked, overstressed, and long overdue to get a massage. You just didn’t realize that getting one would come with a very good-looking massage therapist or the thoughts that filled your mind every time he touched you Tags: no outbreak AU, massage therapist! Joel, no reader desc. Gentle Joel, dirty thoughts, Joel is a tease, the reader is pent up as HELL, mentions of fingering, no actual sex, LOTS of sexual tension, pet names (darlin’ and sweetheart are used), Appreciation for Joel's arms, 18+ Word count: 2.7k

A/N: I very desperately need to get a massage and woke up from a dream about it so there’s that!! Also a huge lovely shoutout and thank you to my wonderful beta readers (@joelsdagger @carlynkurin and my lovely Laur) who have saved me from making the weirdest grammar mistakes and also fuel me with comments such as “IM (S)CREAMING” yall are real ones xoxo

Remember that TLOU is created by a zionist so please look at the resources at the end of this fic and in my bio on ways to donate and educate yourself!! 🇵🇸

You hate your job. Okay, that wasn’t true. You don't hate your job, you just hate the commute. And sitting at your desk all day. And the fact that you always decide that heels look better with your outfits. So you didn't really hate your job, you loved being in charge, but your back was paying the price for it. Everyone in your life has heard you complain about your back hurting at least once. Some of your coworkers had found you with a stash of the stick-on heating patches in your desk and that led to the office pitching in to get you a certificate to one of the nicest spas in the area for your birthday. 

You weren’t sure if you would use it, you barely had time to sit down and fully wash your face. How were you supposed to relax for a full hour and a half with some stranger touching you? The answer came to you one Saturday when you rolled out of bed and could barely stand because of a crick in your lower back. A groan falls from your lips before you throw yourself back onto your bed and grab your phone, making quick work of dialing the number on the back of the voucher. You let out a sigh of relief when the receptionist tells you they have availability later in the afternoon, and you tell her you’d take the appointment. You’re just about to hang up before her voice comes through your speaker again “Oh, and just to let you know, your therapist will be male, is that okay?” 

You freeze for a second. On one hand, you didn’t love the idea of some random man touching you, especially considering it was a full-body massage. But on the other hand, you really didn't have a choice, your back was going to give out if you waited any longer. You mumbled out a quick “That’s fine, thank you!” before hanging up and making your way up to change your clothes. You decide to opt for something more casual, before grabbing your keys and wallet and heading out of the house. 

This place was fancy. Like much fancier than you had expected and suddenly your outfit felt too casual and you missed your heels. You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you filled out the forms they gave you. No, you haven’t had a massage before, yes you wanted to focus specifically on your back, and you weren’t sure how much pressure you wanted. You hand the clipboard back to the receptionist with a smile and she lets you know that he’s just about finished with his last client and he’ll come back for you in just a few minutes. Your knee is bouncing of its own accord, nerves finally kicking in. You are about to be naked in front of a man who is then going to rub his hands into you. Taking a deep breath, you remind yourself that it’s his job. He does this all day, five days a week. You keep reminding yourself that it’s just a massage, you’ll be okay. You finally start to believe that, nerves dissipating and your heart settling back to its resting rate, and then you see him. 

He’s all broad shoulders and a kind smile walking out to the main area, before turning in your direction, and your mind blanks for a minute to fully take in how attractive this man is. His arms were gorgeous and you couldn’t take your eyes off of them. His t-shirt was pulled tightly over his bicep, riding up just enough to let you see a peek of skin that was untouched from the Texas sun. His arms were thick, the muscles defined and prominent, veins standing out against the smooth skin. You were enraptured watching his arms move as he signed off on some papers and grabbed the clipboard with your forms on it. Images of his thick fingers in unspeakable positions flooded your mind; tugging at your hair while his other hand was on your hip, dragging over your lips and pushing them into your mouth, letting them curl into your aching cunt while he holds you down. 

You were lost in your thoughts until his voice was saying your name and pulling you out of your depravity. You smile at him shyly and stand up to shake his hand “I’m Joel, and I'll be your masseuse for today, it’s a pleasure to meet you darlin’.” if you thought that he was attractive before, hearing that accent made you weak in the knees. The slow drawl of his words was smooth like honey and sent butterflies straight to your core. He takes the paperwork from the receptionist and gives it a quick scan before tutting at you lightly. “Overworkin’ yourself? Don’t worry, I'll take good care of you today.” You feel your face start to heat up as you follow him back through the halls into his room. You stepped inside to be met with a dim warm light, and soft music playing through a speaker. 

“So is this your first time coming in for a massage?” he asks, half leaning against the door. 

“Is it that obvious?” you half laugh, heat rising in the back of your neck. You bit the inside of your cheek, eyes locked on his. He laughed softly with a shake of his head and you think you might die on the spot. It’s so unfortunate that he’s so hot. 

“No, darlin’ it said it on one of those forms they had you fill out, I just wanted to go over how it all works with you.” you nod and look up at the man, waiting for him to go on, “I know it said you wanted to focus on your back, do you mind goin’ a little bit into why?” 

You sigh and press a hand into your lower back, “So I sit at work a lot, and granted my posture isn’t great, but I woke up this morning and it was worse than it had ever been” You tell him about your job, about being overworked, about your stupid half hour commute. He keeps his eyes locked on yours, only dropping to flick over your waist for a moment, and then back onto yours. 

He lets you explain where exactly you were hurting before he glances at his watch and lets you know that you should get started sooner rather than later. “Just go ahead and get dressed down to your comfort level and then just lay down with your face in the cradle sweetheart. I’ll knock before coming back in and then we can get started.” You smile and give him a nod, taking a deep breath once the door shuts after him. You make haste to strip down and fold your clothes leaving them in a little pile on a shelf, leaving your panties on much too aware of the wetness that was pooling into them. You grab your phone and lay down on the table, scrolling through your email and replying to a few new ones from your coworkers, knowing fully well that they can barely get things done without you. 

A knock on the door breaks you out of your thoughts and you let out a small noise of acknowledgment that you were ready, slightly hesitant. You watch as Joel opens the door and steps in, eyes immediately flicking to your phone. “Can’t have that out darlin’, this is your time to relax” he says gently, grabbing your phone and setting it down on the shelf next to your clothes. “I’m sure work can wait.'' He shoots you a wink and your face feels flushed. You let your face fall into the cradle, eyes shutting before you feel his hands grazing your body over the sheet slowly. He’s barely touching you, his touch is feather-light, so why do you feel like your body is on fire? His fingers make small circles on your scalp as his thumbs press gently into the base of your neck. Your eyelids flutter softly, the pressure he was applying immediately melting away your stress. His fingers work on your neck, not pressing too hard but not so soft that it wouldn’t help at all. You feel him work in the same place for a few minutes to get rid of a knot, likely from staring down at your phone or hunching over your computer all day, before he takes his hands away. 

“Alright sweetheart I'm gonna move the sheet and start on your back, if that’s alright,” you nod into the face rest, letting out a deep breath when his hands hit your skin. You figured his hands would be as strong as the rest of him looks but he was surprisingly gentle and warm. The smell of roses and sandalwood fills your nose as his hands press softly between your shoulder blades. You let out a soft sigh when his fingers dig into your skin “That pressure alright darlin’?”

You manage to mumble out a weak “yes” and let your eyes fall shut again. You don't know why he’s doing this to you, why this man is making you all hot and bothered while he just does his job, but he is. His hands feel like heaven on your lower back, fingers creating circles to try and get a particularly nasty knot out right above your tailbone. A sound leaves your mouth, a little too close to a whimper for your liking and you feel the blood rush to your face but Joel doesn’t even mention it. 

“You're real tense sweetheart, it’s a wonder you didn't have to come in before today” he mutters as his fingers work their way back up your spine. A trail of goosebumps follows after his touch as your back almost arches into his hands. Almost. You catch yourself at the last moment, sparing yourself from what would be the most embarrassing experience of your life and would also likely get you banned from the spa, which would truly be painful because lord, did Joel know how to use his hands on you. His fingers were soft yet somehow held just the right amount of strength in them to work your pain away, the way the heels of his palms would dig into your skin when he focused on a specific area, he was just too good at this and it was making you a little bit crazy. 

Your eyes were still shut, your body more relaxed than it had ever been when you heard him tell you to flip over so he could work on your legs. In your half-asleep state, you seem to have forgotten that moving too fast will not only make your head spin but will also make the sheet covering you drop. You managed to catch it and pull it over your chest, eyes wide and staring at him. “Oh my god I'm so sorry-” you start but he cuts you off with a shake of his head before clearing his throat. 

“‘s alright sweetheart” his eyes flick down to where you were clutching the sheet. Your breasts were spilling out of the top almost obscenely, a small sheen of sweat from the warmth of the table (and his hands) covering your skin. “Just lay back down, ‘m gonna work on those legs now.” He turns to grab the oil again, and you weren’t certain because of the dim lighting in the room, but you could have sworn there was a light blush dusting his cheeks. You lay down with your head in the rest, still clutching the sheet at your chest before he takes it out of your hands and brings it over your chest fully, leaving just your collarbone and neck exposed. He moves to a corner before picking up a bolster to put under your knees to prop them up slightly. 

You let your eyes fall shut as you feel his hands skim your calf. You bite back a gasp when his hands, god his hands are huge, encompass your ankle and bring it up out of the sheet, bending it at your knee slightly. You wet your lips with your tongue and find your mouth drier than it had ever been as he moves your leg into a good position for him, your calf almost grazing his chest. You feel yourself clench around nothing and feel your panties dampen at the closeness of him. He lets your foot down, tucking the sheet under your hip so that it doesn't slip out from under you, and you can feel your heartbeat everywhere. His fingers were so strong yet so gentle on your calf, rubbing out the tightness in your legs.  As his fingers made their way further up your leg you felt like you were on fire. His hands were pressing into the muscles, nails softly tracing against your inner thigh and it made you feel weak. You couldn’t get the image of those same fingers the ones that were trying to help you relax, rubbing circles over your clit or digging into your hips as he held you in place, out of your mind. It was filthy really, how pent-up you were. How depraved the thoughts you were having about this man, this stranger, were, but you couldn’t help the wetness pooling between your legs from growing.  He presses into a specifically sore spot, dragging something between a yelp and moan from your lips. “I'm so sorry-” your words were quiet, barely audible over the light music he had playing in the room. “Don't worry about it sweetheart, just means I’m doing my job right” he was fucking with you. He had to know what he was doing to you. Had to know that while he was working on the muscles of your legs, you wanted those strong fingers inside of you, talking you through orgasm after orgasm with that sweet southern voice. 

You close your eyes again, trying to stabilize your heart rate and keep it from pounding out of your chest “Alright sweetheart, I'm gonna wipe you off and then I’m sorry to say, but we are done for the session” You nod your head before feeling the warmth of a hot towel wipe against your legs, attempting to brush the idea of him wiping you up after pumping you full of his cum out of your mind. You take a few deep breaths before he turns the lights up slowly, letting you adjust to the change. “Alright, I'm gonna step out and grab you some water. I’ll meet you up by the front darlin’” You smile at him and say thank you before moving to change into your clothes, knees slightly wobbly from just thinking about him. Your panties are embarrassingly wet when you stand up, and you press your face into your hands trying to shake this out of your system.

You manage to step out of the room without having your knees give out,  eyes still slightly blurry from being half asleep through the whole appointment, and walk back out to the reception. You blink a few times, adjusting to the much brighter lighting, and see Joel waiting for you with a cup of water. “Pleasure working on ya sweetheart, I hope I’ll see you again soon” You take the water and say your thank you to him before watching him walk back into the backroom, and oh my god was his butt always that cute? 

You turn back to the receptionist with a smile, when she asks how the session went. “Good, yeah no everything was amazing” You bite on the inside of your cheek softly, the ghost of his fingers still on your skin. You get checked out, making sure to give him a hell of a tip and book another session with him in a few weeks. You take his card and twirl it around your fingers as you sit in your car. Joel Miller- Licensed Massage Therapist- Austin, TX. It was going to be a long hard few weeks without seeing him, but you had some ideas on how to keep yourself, and that dull ache in the pit of your stomach occupied, and every single one of them included thinking about Joel Miller and his fingers. 

A/N: From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free READ: This account stands with Palestine unequivocally, and so— I require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this. DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.  Thank you for reading, and free Palestine

[dayseternal-blog]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Bunny-senpai!!! 💕

I answered an ask similar to this one last year in March and I don't think my answers have changed...

I rewrote each blurb haha, so it's not an exact copy-paste from before.

1 “It’s No Secret” - Rated M, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata returns to Konoha after 5 years studying abroad in the Moon Kingdom. She just wants to enjoy her last year of high school as a normal girl, but blossoming love forces her to confront her future. - My top fave. Back then, I wrote this like I was possessed. This story consumed my mind, and I was posting chapters every 1 or 2 weeks. I'm amazed at myself from back then. No, it's not my technically best writing, but I was having so much fun thinking up all kinds of scenes!!! Oh, to be a fanfic writing newbie all over again. Major love to everyone who's read this flirty teenage shenanigans mess and enjoyed it!!! One day I will write part two 🥺

2 “Nightdreams” - Rated E, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto and Hinata find comfort in each other after the war. - This fic idea came to me sometime after I read agitosgirl's "A Special Friend," and I wanted Moooooore!!! I wanted more of this hurt/comfort dynamic between NaruHina!!!! So bam, the fic almost wrote itself, it flowed so easily (except for when it didn't). I'm so happy that people reread this fic, and then tell me that they're rereading it :D. Once in awhile I reread it, too, and think, oh, I should fix that sentence, or whatever loll, but I don't. I kind of think it's nice to leave it as it is, imperfect in little ways to bother me. Please read this fic and recognize that I was copying Katarinahime's writing techniques throughout.

3 “Awkward Jocks” - Rated G, 1990s High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. She knows that if he were to ever ask her out, she would accept in a heartbeat. After all, he’s the star quarterback and basketball player. Plus, she’s liked him since…forever. But when her home phone rings, and he’s on the other line, she hangs up. - It's interesting to me that even after all the fics I've written over the years, it's a few of my oldest fics that take the top 3. I guess I really have been trying to write for myself since the start. This one is based off of my ex-coworker's love story. Even though I don't work with her anymore, I still think of her as my role model for good leadership. When you read this, I hope you can feel how much I love her!

4 “About You” - Rated G, 1970s High School AU, One-shot. A summer job at the Dole pineapple cannery, graveyard shift 10 PM to 6 AM. A long bus ride into and out of town. Two teens, shy beside each other. - This is my most personal fanfic. Based on stories my parents told me and stories I found online from people of their generation, I tried to dive into their time using NaruHina. Ever since I was inspired to write after reading emmykay's "Torch Song," I had wanted to write a fic with Japanese-Hawaiian pidgin dialogue. This fic is close to my heart, but it's not higher on the list because there are inaccurate details that bother me 😅. I'm thinking of writing a fic about my great grandparents' generation one day, I've done a ton of research for it! Anyway, I'm so happy that others love this fanfic, too.

5 “Matcha” from “Shared Vows” - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Naruto calls Hiashi “father” for the first time. - According to my previous blurb, I picked this one because I loved how I structured it, I thought I wrote it really well. I also loved the notion of Naruto finding his own family. On deeper reflection, I think I also picked this one over "Finally Home" because I have a not-so-secret agenda for reconciliation between Hinata and Hiashi, fed by my own family's dynamic with my dad.

If I were to recommend any one of these for someone to read, I'd say they should start with Nightdreams or Matcha as an intro to some of my work since canon universe fanfic is always easier to digest.

[yanderes-galore]

Could I request a scenario where romantic yandere Spitfire falls in love with pegasus reader who works as a janitor for the Wonderbolts.

Sure! I'll see what I have for this plot! :) I struggled a bit so I'm sorry the story is shorter than I wanted it :(

Cleaning Duty

Yandere! Spitfire Scenario

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Employer/Employee dynamic, Unhealthy power dynamic, Manipulation, Implied talking/eavesdropping, Forced relationship, Intimidation, Abuse of power/position, Harassment, Very toxic themes.

You'd think being so close to the Wonderbolts would be fantastic, right? They're the best aerial acrobatics group in all of Equestria according to most. Cloudsdale is known for them.

Admittedly, you did think they were cool. Although you weren't fanatic about them. To you, they were simply your employers.

You took the job of janitor for the Wonderbolts Academy specifically. However, if an event calls for it, you'd be there to clean up too. It's a bigger job than most would think.

You don't mind it... the pay is okay and you sometimes greet the Wonderbolts themselves. You mostly kept to yourself. It was better to be out of the way anyways.

The Wonderbolts didn't tend to pay you much mind. Most of them, at least. Spitfire, the popular commander and leader of the Wonderbolts, put you on edge.

Of course there's the obvious reason... she was your employer. Spitfire had hired you and expected you to do your job. A job you did well, luckily.

Then there was the staring. The fellow pegasus always looked at you with a strange intrigue in those orange eyes of hers. You tried to ignore it whenever it happened, choosing to focus on your work.

Spitfire intimidated you due to high status in your eyes. Although she always came to give you the money you were owed personally. Each time you took it you tried not to look her in the eyes.

Some of your coworkers would joke that the head pony had a crush on you. To you... it's a cruel joke. A joke that was plausible just enough that it could be true.

You tried to ignore such a thought.

Spitfire? The leader of the Wonderbolts? With a crush on you, a janitor?

Not a chance.

"Have you not seen the way she looks at you?" Another pegasus asks you. "Doesn't it SCREAM crush to you?"

"Not sure what fantasy you're trying to push... but I want nothing to do with it." You sigh, turning away.

"You can't just deny something's up...!" They say, you shake your head.

"Think about how I feel, will you? Just drop the conversation." With that, you trot off.

You never understood why ponies were so invested in you and your employer. You hated to even think of the idea. Spitfire was just... making sure you did your work... must be.

Any sense of denial was purged when Spitfire approaches you out of the blue hours later.

"You look nervous." Spitfire comments when you stop doing your cleaning to turn. You were... but tried to play it off.

"Oh, it's nothing ma'am. Just had a strange conversation with another coworker."

"Were they causing you trouble?" Spitfire asks standing beside you.

"No...."

"That doesn't sound like a very confident 'no'."

You look away from her... thinking back to the conversation you had hours prior. Spitfire notices your hesitant gaze and moves in front of you.

"You know... we can drop the formalities if it's just us. You just call me Spitfire, and I'll call you (Y/N)."

Your body jolts in nervous surprise at this. Oh, Celestia...

It is true.

"Alright... Spitfire."

She grins at this, having noticed your shock before.

"May I ask what you were talking about with this coworker of yours?"

"... it was nothing."

"Come on... I'm all for a bit of gossip."

That look in her eyes told you she already knew what was up. You don't want to tell her in case you're wrong... in fact, you don't want to be involved.

"It was private, Spitfire."

"... that's fine." Spitfire hums, circling you like some shark. "I already overheard."

Your blood runs cold.

"S-Spitfire..."

"Hearing you say my name and my name alone is euphoric..." Spitfire chuckles. "Ever wonder if the rumors are true?"

Spitfire steps closer, almost nose to nose with you.

"Ever wonder if maybe I do like you like that?"

"Please... I just want to work-" You turn away, but Spitfire just follows you.

"It's the chance of a life-time." Spitfire teases, confirming the rumors you hated to hear were true. "Not many get to date a Wonderbolt. Much less a janitor...."

"I don't want this, Spitfire-"

Spitfire's silent, coming beside you and looking you over. It's as if she's enjoying this. Spitfire's enjoying the power trip.

"I have so much to offer... I can make you a cadet who trains under me... you have such strong wings..." Spitfire purrs, brushing over your wing. "I'll keep things secret if you wish. The rumors will go away... I'll make sure of it."

You whimper when Spitfire tilts her head to see your reaction.

"I'll even give you a pay raise if you really want it."

You're shaking, slowly and nervously trying to decline her again.

"I'm not looking for anything..."

Spitfire frowns, forcing you to look at her again.

"Then what if I threaten your job... your reputation? No pony would hire you..." Spitfire threats. "I promise your life will be good if you're mine. You could have so much more if you say yes...."

You realize there's no getting out of this, not with Spitfire's persistence....

---

You had no choice but to give in. You knew this was wrong... yet you were scared. Spitfire could ruin you.

So you complied... you now dated in secret.

Spitfire was amused and pleased when you accepted her offer. Truthfully she was going to have you one way or another. Even if it required clipping your wings.

Luckily she didn't have to do such an act. You accepted her order... she always loved obedience. In exchange, she teaches you tricks, ups your pay...

... and gives you all the affection anypony could ever want.

You no longer had to be on cleaning duty. If anypony asked about your promotion, or even eluded to your relationship, Spitfire kicked them out of the academy.

She did promise there would be no more rumors... no matter how true.

Spitfire would give you all she has to offer and more... because she "loves" you... and you're hers.

"See? You can have everything... as long as you're with me... my newest Wonderbolt."

[strrvnge]

Reflections || Prologue

Pairing : Stephen Strange x Reader

Summery : after the blip Stephen has to face one more enemy; his feelings for you

Warnings : idiots in love, Stephen being in denial about his feelings, blip trauma, fluff that will potentially turn into angst (you know me)

So this is the prologue of this idea based on this ask that instead of a one-shot I decided to make into a series. This part is written from Stephen's point of view.

Stephen Strange had been many things in his life. An excellent example of a student according to his professors, one of the most well acclaimed neurosurgeons the world has ever known,a cocky asshole according to his coworkers, a womanizer according to all of his ex (heartless dick was the term used more often)But what he did not expect to be was a hero.

Stephen Strange was a universal hero, saving not only half of earth's but the universe's population. Now little children drew pictures of him, dressed up like him for halloween, people asked for photos and autographs they even made pages dedicated to him on social media. He was known, loved, admired, recognised by millions and if you excluded the blip his life was a dream. For a man like him who sought perfection in each ascept, in every little detail of his life, it all was a dream, his world was some short of utopia.

And then you came into the picture. You, you, lovely you who just had to turn his world upside down.

Don't get him wrong, he didn't hate you. How could he (that didn't mean he hadn't tried in the past). But how you made him feel was just enough to destroy everything. Well who is he kidding?

The truth was that he hated it. Everything that revolved or had anything to do with you he simply hated it. How his stomach twisted every time he smelled your perfume, that painful feeling of anticipation when he was to see you, how his palms get sweaty when you were around,how he smiled with the mere thought of you, how his heart beated uncontrollable when he talked with you at the point of paining him so much he just wanted to rip it out of his chest.

No, he hated it with all his heart. Utterly and completely. Perfection was about control and the way those feelings struck him was everything against it. There was no control in falling in love, how the heart suddenly got a mind of its own, how it defied logic, how it made him act like a seven year old stuttering and tripping over his words

(but it made you laugh. Humiliating but perhaps worth it)

To his eyes Stephen was nothing great but escpecially when it came to the matters of his heart he was also a coward.

"Good morning" he snapped himself out of his thoughts entering the kitchen where you had already woken up early and made tea.

"Oh hi" you beamed him a smile and he violently bit down his tongue to hold himself from smiling back. "Want some tea?" Stephen hummed, unable to talk, eyeing you quietly up and down however your every careful and precise move as you made him his tea (as always choosing his favorite cup, adding the perfect amount of honey just like he liked it).

You had known him many years (not so many without the blip but still), living with him in the Sanctum his apprentice he liked to call you thought you were practicing the mystic arts a long time before he did. You weren't friends, he wouldn't use that word. You were patient and understanding with him at the first period of his studies but after becoming Sorcerer Supreme for some reasons you still kept your distance.

Only for everything to chance with the blip. After coming back everything was different alongside you too, no matter how much you both tried to cling onto who you used to be. Things had changed because of the desperate need to connect with something somewhat stable he could perhaps call you now a friend.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked

"Yeah, you?"

He knew you were lying. There was a very specific type of uncomfortness clouded over the futures of your face each time you lied, an easy to spot uneasiness he had come to easily recognise after times of observing your beautiful face. He couldn't really blame you though. After five years being blipped he too avoided closing his eyes, afraid he'd be dragged back into that cold darkness.

"Yes" he said, his hands reaching for the cup you held to him, your hands accidentally brushing against each other for a mere moment enough however to memorize that softness of your touch.

"Thank you Y/N" finally he said and only now you met his gaze.

He could say your name a million times, repeat it for an eternity and never get bored of its godly sound.

Every morning it was the same dream, the same nightmare. You in the kitchen making his tea so beautiful, so lovely,warm, so oblivious of the caos you caused inside of him, so close to him you were almost his. Until he said your name and brought himself back to reality. And just like that you felt cold, distant , putting him so far from you in the most cruel way keeping him away. You stood so close to him yet you weren't his, perhaps you'd never be.

His heart once again beated faster than he could catch on while his thoughts tripped over one another, all the things he wanted to tell you, all the things he couldn't say becoming a mess as he starred into your eyes. Before finally saying in a surprisingly calm and steady voice "You know you can wake me up and you can't sleep right?"

"Am I interrupting something?" Suddenly Wong walked in, uncomfortably standing in the middle of the kitchen looking at you two as with his entress you immediately broke eye contact, one of you staring at the floor while the other at the ceiling.

"No. I was just gonna check those books you asked me to" you quickly said, leaving your cup on the counter before hastily walking away from them.

Wong observed as Stephen's eyes drafted on your back followed your figure till you completely got out of the room, like a sad puppy staring at its owner leaving them at home and leaving. He fakely coughed trying to get his friends attention back to him.

"What?"

"You're such an idiot"

[fuck-customers]

So about a month and a half ago, OSHA came to my work for an inspection. (Y'all may remember it- I couldn't find the specific post to link, but I wanted to report to OSHA but chickened out and didn't want to put my personal info, OSHA came anyway and I later discovered a coworker also reported)

And since then, I have not heard a single peep about it. And none of my coworkers are even aware that they showed up at the store. I only am aware of it because I was literally there when the rep came to the store. I was the one who she asked to call the manager for her. And the employee who made the report is obviously aware and she confided in me that she was the one who reported it. (I haven't seen her since- not because she quit, but because we simply have not been scheduled together- or else I would ask her)

So I was wondering wtf was going on with it and tried to find any info online. And I discovered that the investigation is still ongoing. I also found this:

"The first step is to meet with all staff involved with the inspection, discuss what occurred, and then draft a narrative report describing exactly what occurred during the inspection. Make sure to include relevant photos, notes, etc with the report. This process should begin immediately following the inspection while everything is still “fresh” in everyone’s minds. Waiting until months later will yield much poorer results. This information can end up being critical to any appeal process."

My boss didn't do ANY of this. The literal only people who even know that OSHA came are those who were actually on the clock the day that the rep came in and MAYBE members of management were informed, but I seriously doubt it.

It's been almost exactly 2 months as of the date I'm writing this (Feb. 10) and I haven't heard a single peep about it. I have no idea if the store was found guilty of the violations, what exactly the violations were, if the store is going to be shut down (according to the OSHA report section of their website, this is not my store's first offense) or literally anything about it.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[autie-j]

So my coworker/annoying neighbor/Friend we'll call S, has recently learned about this new holiday called Christmas. There are many traditions involved with Christmas, but the biggest one according to S is the tale of a man named Santa who visits every Christmas and brings gifts for everyone. He liked the idea of the holiday so much that he wanted to share it with the entire town. Literally everyone in town got involved in the holiday activities and the spirit of the thing 🙄. And S kept trying to get me to join in on the festivities, but I refused. I don't believe in any of this Santa nonsense, and I refuse to play along with S' silly games. Literally everyone in town stayed up all night by a big Christmas tree to wait for Santa to arrive, while I was nice and comfortable in my warm bed. Okay, here's where I miiiight be the asshole. The next morning, shocker, Santa never came! Everyone in town went home in disappointment, but S stayed out there a little longer. So I took this as an opportunity to gloat. Might have went a bit too far, he was all sad looking and on the verge of tears and I made him stand in front of the tree and say "Santa Claus" while I took a picture and laughed at him. He burst into tears and said it was a stupid holiday. But then he surprised me by saying he still wanted to give me a present, that he didn't want me feeling left out when Santa came. It was a clarinet, hand crafted out of drift wood, and it even had my name on it! I'd never received such a thoughtful gift before! I felt like a...I felt like a...I felt like a...(haw hee haw) big jerk!

[eggnogablog]

Friendship is so underrated

I’ve been having such a great time hanging out with my new friends from work. It took me a long time to learn how to be a good friend, and to find people who were willing to be good friends back. The two people I’ve been getting to know are a girl from Kenya and a boy from Brazil. It’s also just nice to hang out with coworkers close to my age, since many people I work with are in their forties or older.

I mentioned in my last read-more post that I have a crush on my coworker, the Brazilian guy I just mentioned. He knows that I am dating someone from EHarmony (as in, we’ve had two dates and scheduled a third). Yesterday, he came to me and said, “I really want to go to this restaurant with you, since it would be awkward to go alone. But I don’t want to get in the middle of your relationship.”

See, he just got divorced, and his ex-wife was at least emotionally cheating with someone from work, if not actually cheating. So he’s very aware of the need for proper boundaries. I immediately told him, “It’s fine! I already told him about you and he is okay with us hanging out.” I started dating EH-guy around the same time that I started hanging out more with Brazil-guy.

I wish I could just transfer my crush on Brazil-guy to EH-guy. Because EH-guy is very nice! And cute. But we just don’t know each other that well yet. 

At the moment, I’m just trying to ignore the crush and never act on it. We keep boundaries up; we rarely touch each other, and if we do it’s in safe/platonic ways. But it’s harder to ignore just how much better suited Brazil-guy and I are to each other than this EH-guy is. We share the same religion, we have similar though not identical political views, we’re avid non-fiction readers, we’re passionate about our shared profession and what in it needs to change, and we’ve both lost our same-gender parent and been recently dumped. We have so much to talk about that it’s hard to find a stopping point, but silence is also comfortable. Even though English is his third language, I find it easy to understand him, and he’s a wonderful listener.

If he weren’t going through so much right now, and didn’t seem to need a friend so much, I would be trying harder to distance myself from him. I know this extra time with him will only prolong my feelings. But I am being very strict with myself about it. No daydreaming, no touching, and any thought that tends to romance I sharply cut off.

I kind of wish he would indicate an absolute disinterest in me. It might make that strictness easier. I feel that I’ve gotten prettier due to body recomp, better habits, etc. But that doesn’t mean he is or ever will be attracted to me. That’s not how attraction works. I can quietly hope for it, but I would also be so concerned if he wanted to date anyone right now. Like they JUST filed the paperwork. He’s struggling with the idea of being single again. At least he still has the cat and his work friends. We will help him move to a new place for a fresh start next month. Sadly, he’s also transferring roles at work, so we won’t be able to chat there. But maybe this will mean we can hang out more outside of work?

The thing is, I love this friendship. I have never had many friends at one time. It took me some time to make friends since moving here a few years ago. And even though he’s almost everything I’ve been looking for in a husband, I refuse to jeopardize this friendship or make him uncomfortable. I’m trying to live in the moment and focus on non-romantic goals. It’s possible that in a few months or a year, my friend will be interested in dating again, and he might consider me as an option. But I can’t bet on it, nor should I treat our friendship as a waiting stage for that not-so-likely future. 

All I can do is keep working to be good and glorify God. It’s important to bring my desires to God, so that He can purify them and remove those that do not accord to His will. That which it is not right for us to receive, God does not grant. “Desire is prayer; and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be moulded and exalted before they take form in words and in deeds.” (S&H p. 1:11)

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Game over, you lose!

Que sera, sera

(Bound, but the string wins.)

Marinette was a normal girl with a normal life.

Two bakers for parents, a job that she had followed them into instead of going to college. A coworker that was also her best friend. A ‘mild’ coffee addiction that had become so expensive that her parents had added coffee to the menu so they could use it as a business expense. Really, there were a million other girls like her in Paris.

Well, other than the fact that she had a soulmate.

She hadn’t found them yet, even at the ripe age of twenty-five, but she was willing to wait. Her parents were soulmates, and they were so happy that she knew it could only ever be worth it.

But, for now, she must wait.

Do her job, like the normal girl with a normal life that she was.

Like now. She stood behind the counter, giving the American tourists their weirdly early lunches. At least she was almost done with their lunch rush. Just a few customers more before she could switch with Adrien and let some of her frustration with rude customers out on some dough.

“Alright, I’m at the front, I need to order,” the last man in line said. “I’m just going to stick you into my pocket. Hold for a minute?”

Marinette’s eyes caught on the man’s when he shoved his phone into the breast pocket of his business suit, and for a moment she swore she knew him. She swore that he knew her. Because there was something there, a moment where they scrutinized each others’ faces, in that way you only do when you recognize someone but can’t quite place who they are or where you’d met. But how could they have met before? He was American, she was French. So, she looked away, down at the cash register.

“Can I take your order, sir?” she asked, putting a little bit of an extra accent into her English. She found that it often pleased Americans to have a sense of ‘authenticity’, and was happy for the extra tips.

She felt his gaze linger for just a moment longer before he looked away as well.

“Well, according to a random old guy on the street, this is the place to come for croissants and coffee,” he said, and she was surprised to find that he spoke perfect French. “So, I guess I have to try those.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You take the advice of random people on the street?”

He shrugged, a small smile on his face. “He was very convincing. And it’s not like I would know any better than the locals.”

“Mmm. Maybe I should send Adrien out to try and nab tourists, then,” she said, her eyes gleaming with mirth as she set his order on the counter. “Thanks for the business idea.”

He swiped his credit card without even waiting for her to tell him the price.

“It’s what I do,” he said, lifting the cup to his lips.

Her eyes widened, and she reached a hand out even if she knew she couldn’t reach him in time, trying to warn him that the coffee was still hot.

But she was too late, and the man was burned.

And so was she.

He gave a small hiss of pain. She mumbled a curse, her hand flying up to her mouth as something bitter and way too hot curled itself over her tongue.

Neither of them cared that much, though.

Because their eyes locked once again, and suddenly the familiarity from earlier made so much more sense. Of course they had felt that they had known each other despite never having met, they were soulmates. People always talked about how eyes were the windows to the soul, and theirs must have recognized each other.

Marinette slowly reached down and pinched herself.

She was awake. And, from the man’s slight wince, so was he.

Slowly, he lifted his phone back to his ear. “Actually… I think I’ll call you back.”

He set his phone down on the counter, and sent her a tiny, if awkward smile. “You know, when this day came, I always thought I’d be… smoother.”

She giggled. “If it makes you feel better, I had a whole speech prepared.”

“If you want to tell me when your break is, I’d love to hear it…” His eyes flicked down to her nametag. “Marinette.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

“Well…”

“Tim,” he offered.

“Well, Tim, I get off in about two hours, if you want to go get lunch with me. Though I’m not sure either of us will be able to taste it now that you’ve gone and burned us.”

He laughed, and she wanted nothing more than to make him laugh like that for the rest of time. Wanted to bottle the bright look in his eyes and the faint blush dusting his cheeks.

He leaned forward, his chin coming to rest in his hands, a smile on his face.

And, for just a moment, the world around her changed. It was still Tim, but he was younger now, probably just out of high school. It was still Tim, but now there was a mottled bruise forming on his jaw. It was still Tim, but his face is twisted with anger and there was very real hatred darkening his eyes.

But she blinked, and it was gone.

He smiled at her still, and she returned it, however hesitantly. She had never met Tim before, so her mind must have conjured up the image as a form of self-sabotage. Or something like that. She wasn’t exactly all that well-versed in psychology.

She didn’t have to be to know that the look on his face at that moment was nothing but kind and, possibly one day, loving.

“It’s a date, then.”

“Sounds like it is.”

[hostileheart]

All to tell (John Phillips X (fem) reader)

second FF upload to tumblr if you have any suggestions let me know thank you// to sum this one up you both work as interns at your father's company and it seems that he knows more about you than you anticipated TW for heavy sexual content and non-con elements

You lived in upstate Maryland for as long as you could remember, traveling briskly for your family's work related reasons or for a blissful summer holiday. You yourself never got out much at all, surrounded by the comfort of your home and your private college. Despite living in one place for that amount of time you still found yourself unsociable, purely out of choice. It was a rare occurrence to make conversation with anyone your age about any non school related subjects. There was no real reason to, having a one track mind makes it easy to accomplish what you wanted to. Which was exactly why your father had chosen you over your brother to take an internship at the company he was employed at. You felt dubiously guilty about the endeavor, most of the people starting an internship at the business were sons of other wealthy, dull, like minded middle aged men. On the eve of your first day you pondered to yourself about all the opportunities this could open for you, what type of impression you were going to make upon your father’s coworkers, your mind strains at the mere thought of the possible creepy touchy older men whose eyes would pin you down as you were simply trying to file paperwork, when they would make that so sickening small talk people do. Rest assured if anything was to happen you could leave whenever you pleased.

The next morning came too soon, as most Saturdays do good or not. Taking your time in the dawn of the morning to get ready and to leave promptly at 7:45 am. The car ride was silent as most times no matter the occasion are entirely. Arriving at the front doors of the company you noticed how everyone had said hello to your father with a sense of high respect, understanding why due to his high position, however not truly understanding why. You were introduced to his team members, then promptly placed into a room with other interns. Young men are already standing up to introduce themselves to try and be friendly. This sickened you, you despised it all, not being able to tell if their intentions were pure or not, this reminded you of intermediate school all over again. you briefly waved to them in a somewhat friendly way to signal you didn’t wish to be bothered. There was one young man who did not stand up to introduce himself, however had been staring at you the entire time. He seemed too familiar however you could not place a name to his face at that given moment. In order to figure out his name you put a plan in action, within the next five minutes you would use the restroom, it being down the hall from his desk. Why would you put this amount of effort just to find out a man’’s name? You didn't know why entirely it made you feel ill to a degree.

Five minutes passed and you stood up walking slowly, passing his desk, eyeing his name plate which was engraved in silver John Phillips. It hit you then that you had met him on numerous occasions, your fathers knowing each other well. However you were to never speak to him directly on your own accord. Reality came crashing back as you found yourself stopped for a moment in front of his desk spacing out for as it seemed no reason, his eyes on you the entire time not saying anything back. You collect yourself and walk into the women's restroom. Covering your mouth as you stood in front of the mirror, he looked so different from the last time you saw him, his eyes still soft yet his gaze was completely solidified. It almost aroused you, you smiled to yourself trying to control your own thoughts.

he liked you. Oh, he really fucking adored you. He liked the way you walked, and how your voice sounded. He liked how you looked when you had no idea he was watching. His watching had gone on for months, as a matter of fact you interning here was all a part of his plan recommending you to his father for the open position, John knew way too much about you more than what was comfortable.  He liked how quiet and lonesome you were, and he liked to think he could one day own you, to be the only person in the entire world to know and understand your deepest thoughts and feelings. 

As you were in the restroom he laughed to himself, slipping his hands in his pockets, knowing that this was only the beginning of his plan. Normally he would not put this amount of effort into anything, this type of behavior being completely foreign to himself he savored it constantly thinking about his new found interest, his newfound obsession. He utterly adored every part of you. He craved to know more about you. It pained him how silent you are.

You walked out the restroom after two minutes, just standing in front of the mirror adjusting your hair and lipstick. You once again pass by his desk, however something grabs onto your wrist, you look down immediately and low and behold it was John. Your eyes squint as you look up at him, quickly pulling away from his grasp. “y/n, was it?” you look around before answering with a nod “I’m John, John Phillips, we had met before at a couple of company dinners, anyway if you need any assistance with anything i’ll be around and might I add that you made quite the impression.” He smiles before composing himself, “thank you” you say with a soft tone. You smile to yourself, as you sit down quickly continuing your paperwork for another hour before your father’s assistant comes in and directs you to run down to the copy room and file something for the security office. “And John Phillips will be directing you to the security office once you file all ten copies which shouldn’t take too long.” His assistant spits out before quickly leaving you to file,

John walks up to you and says “Here send me five so we can get this done quicker” He says placing his hand on the back of your chair, you feel his long dark brown hair draping over your head. You groan to yourself “Sure thank you” you send him the documents and sure enough within the next seven minutes you both were finished with the files. You look back at him as he stands up with the papers in hand and he walks over to you, you notice the way he walks, making you grin so different from the rest of the guys who had worked here, way less formal. “Ready?” you ask him as he walks over to you “Yep yep”

a tensed silence fills the air around you two, he speaks up again “ Still in high school?” you shake your head in disagreement “Graduated last year, started a private college recently.. What about you?” he looks over at you and nods “ Yeah in my last year now, well what college?” you bite your lip before answering, debating if you should tell him or not “uhh.. John Hopkins University” John Smiles and looks over to you “ Oh really? I applied over there, what's it like?” you watch his facial expressions wisely, “Just as you would expect” you sigh

You look up at the door title starting ‘SECURITY ROOM’ “we’re here it seems.” you state as you reach for the door handle, he quickly opens the door for you allowing you to walk in front of him, he shuts the door behind you two locking it without your knowledge. You try to flip the light switch, he watches you “So the lights don’t work in here they never fix it apparently it makes it easier to look at the computer screens, and most times nobody is in here unless it’s a PM shift the paperwork we have is for the PM shift” he states. “ I see okay, how often do they have you do this” you question, “ not too often” he answers quickly, drawing his eyes away from your frame.

You can’t make out John's facial expression or tell his body language the dim computer screen light in the background only outlining both of your bodies.

John had slipped his hand in his pocket palming his bulge softly, his dick hard, your breath being rapid from the tension of the moment, the silence filled the air other than your own breath, thinking of things to speak about you walk around the room in the darkness and stare at the computer screen and the things scattered across the desk. “They keep it rather messy here, don't they?” John doesn’t answer. A minute of silence, any minute more would make you want to leave. You look around to your sides obviously not seeing him, He then presses himself against your backside, leaning his head over your shoulder and tilting it in the direction of your face. “It’s dark in here for a reason y/n” You don’t move, you can’t even if you wish. His touch against your skin made your body shake in fear, your mind absent as he was too. “I know you remember me, don’t you?” he whispers directly into your ear. “What if I don’t” your lips quivering as you fearfully turn to him.

It’s not like you weren’t enjoying it, as a matter of fact, you adored every second of it, you’ve thought about this since the first time you saw him years ago. “I’ll make you remember me” he grins as he places his hand around your throat, turning his head to yours to get a better peak of your face. "Why are you doing this John?" You spat out, voice shaky. He answered you by shoving his hand beneath your tight pencil skirt and under the constricting material of your tights. You quickly shut your eyes as you felt his fingers on the fabric of your thong. He presses his hardened dick against your ass. His fingers pushed past your underwear and dragged along your core. You attempted to look away from him, but John's grip on your throat brought you back. "Don't look away, now," he laughed at you.

You observed his face as he fit his fingers inside of you. Your hands reached for his throat. You didn't try to throw him off of you, you just held onto him as he fingered you. His fingers stretched you out painfully. You could feel tears stinging your eyes as he pushed in and out."So tight", he commented, grinning and teasing you.

He tore his fingers from you and leaned forwards to kiss you. You could feel the ends of his hair falling on your face. His erection rubbed against your ass aggressively. You wanted to spit at him, bite him, do something, but you weren't sure how that would turn out for you.

John pulled your skirt down as far as he could. You could hear his belt buckle jingling as you anticipated him. As you waited, you could feel the skin around your throat getting sore from John's hand, he leaned over and ripped open your tights with one motion. He fumbled with his boxers, his dick slipping out of them quickly. He slides himself between your thighs, never inserting himself inside. You muffle out moans from his sweaty and salvia-covered hand. “I know you need it, don’t you” he whispers into your ear, he tightens his grip around your throat. You nod, turning away in embarrassment, your breathing heavy and knees weak. “Say it then.” you shake your head looking down, “Please…please John I can’t” You turn away from his gaze, “Too fucking bad whore.” He chuckles and pushes you away from him against the desk, he conceals himself by zipping up his pants. He grabs your chin and pulls you close, almost spitting in your face. “If you tell anyone about this I’ll tell management, and your father just about what a whore you are for getting off at work. “I won’t I’m sorry” You whisper out in fear as you step towards him grabbing his hands softly, his disposition softens as you look up at him. He walks over to you and grabs your chin and plants a kiss on your forehead and wipes away your tears, pulling you into his arms. This became a thing you two did every time you both were there at the same time, sneaking away but never actually fucking. It was killing you, it was killing him. You began to admire him slowly, this admiration was picked up by the other interns who oftentimes would tease you both about it.

One night, you were alone walking back from a cafe late at night. You were a completely oblivious woman you never once noticed him. He observed you unlock the door to your house, which was close to St. John’s private boy’s Academy, with your key. He glanced at you as you closed the door as he passed your street. There were no cars in the driveway. You were home alone weren’t you? Oh, how easy it would be to just to.. break in. John couldn't help but get aroused at thinking of all the things he could be doing to you right at that moment.

He'd been watching you all day. He saw you shower, a red flush across your body as you stepped out of the hot water. He saw you shift into pajamas and do your classwork. Everything was going according to plan. He slowly made his way through your home, guessing where your room was. His feet were creaking on the floor, and by the way, your TV turned off, you had heard him. He opened the door, only to be greeted by your fearful expression. “John! What are you doing here?” you look at him in shock “You left the door open princess, could've been dangerous. Don’t worry I locked it for you” He grinned as he stepped towards the edge of your bed frame. Looking around your room, he looks back at you. “Cool shit you got,” he says as he sits down next to you. “Thanks John” You sheepishly whisper out. You eye him down looking at his attire, casual rich guy’s son bullshit but paired with a silly graphic tee which made complete sense for him. “I’ve missed you in more ways than one,” he says, getting up and then laying over you “John..” you sigh nervously, your body shaking with anticipation “We shouldn’t”. He tilts his head, his long hair falling over your face, he tilts your chin up. “Nobody is home and I came all this way don’t back out now”.

He says as he bites into your neck holding you down by your shoulders. You whimper in pain, as he rubs his erection against your leg, you unbuckle his belt and unzip his boxers. He quickly removes your top revealing that you weren’t wearing a bra, how exciting. He grips your breast tightly, admiring your body with every touch. John doesn’t waste any time, shoving his fingers inside of you pumping them in and out rapidly, this alone was enough to get you off, but John knew it wasn’t enough for him.You felt abruptly vacant as he pulled his slim fingers away from you. You practically whined before you felt his mouth prodding at your entry. His hand pressed against the side of your thigh, gripping it tightly as he looked up at you “John"! You moaned as his mouth worked wonders.

He was eating you out like he was starved. His tongue was moving eagerly and his finger was pressing harder into your clit..your climax building up. You were simply... right there.

"J-John"! You cried out. "I- I-- fuck"!

He was moving his tongue faster if possible, his gentle dark eyes trained on you. You bit the inside of your cheek, hips convulsing as you came, he licked the inside of your thigh before removing himself from between your hips.

 He grabs your shoulders as you both stand up he pushes you onto your knees shoving the finger he used to fuck you with inside your mouth, his dick slapping your forehead “suck my fucking dick whore.” you obey shyly as you grab the base of it, deepthroating it slowly, your eyes water with tears as you push it inside your mouth as much as you can. He looks down at you and pushes his hair out of his face whimpering softly as you wrap your lips and tongue around him,, he grips on to your hair and pulls you away, then quickly pushes you onto your stomach against the edge of the bed. He grabbed your hips instantaneously, pressing his tip against your entrance, you felt him shove himself inside you quickly, he began to fuck you, his metal rings digging into the sides of your hips, sure to leave a mark “Such a good slut for me” he chuckled as he thrust into you roughly and slowly, flipping you over to face him quickly he grabs your hips and pushes your legs closer to him, grabbing one of them and putting it over his shoulder Your toes curled and your eyes rolled back into your head .John watched intently, feeling you clench and convulse around his cock. He felt his orgasm approaching and feeling you fall limp beneath him was the breaking point. John kept a close eye on you as you seemed out of breath as your feet curled and your eyes rolled up into your head, he watched you helplessly squirm underneath him this was his breaking point, he groaned in pain and in arousal, his hair and body shaking as he thrusts into you rapidly, releasing his hot cum inside of you. “You're mine” He groans out and falls to your side  grabbing your cheek and kissing you softly “and i’m yours” He whispers out before, cleaning you up and getting dressed. “I’ll see you again y/n” he smiles before exiting out of your window and heading back to his dorm. This was for sure a score for his loser stoner virgin ass.

[smallswingshoes]

I love learning about other cultures so much, but like the little stuff that doesn't occur to you to share, yknow?

Like, I'm born and raised American, but my mom is from Sweden and only came here as an adult. Something she told me was that they didn't have air conditioning in Sweden cuz it hadn't been warm enough there to really need it, so she had no idea what a/c was when she came here. That's so fascinating to me! Like, it never occurred to me she wouldn't know!

A coworker of mine, Hazem, was born in America and grew up for a little bit here, then grew up for a while in Egypt and became a pharmacist there. (He's now doing his tests to be a pharmacist here.) He's a practicing Muslim and we talk about interesting cultural differences and I said something about how the Christian trinity looks polytheistic to Jews so Christiniaty looks polytheistic to Jews. He was confused because Christinity doesn't always believe in the trinity and I was like !!!! What??? I'd never heard that here, but to him it was super obvious and must be more commonplace in Egypt. I'm sure there are Christians in America who don't believe in the trinity, but I had literally never heard of that and he thought it was the most obvious thing. Clearly it seems much more common of a belief in Egypt than here. That's so fascinating!! The way the culture must be different because of that is just so interesting to me!!

I had a coworker briefly named Narak who I think was from.... oh fuck this was years ago so my memory is hazy, but I think from Cambodia? And we had an interesting discussion one time where he actually asked me if I was white! Because I look white but I'm also Jewish, so I consider myself conditionally white. Because of this, I sometimes talk about myself in a way other white people usually don't to him, I think. And it was an interesting moment because it was clear that the way Americans imagine race is so clearly not the default in other cultures! Before him, I've literally never been asked before in person if I was white. Cuz most people just assume I am white. For him, there was obviously a different understanding of race than the typical white American perception of it. It was so interesting!!

Narak and I also talked about how Americans are weird about food from animals that still have their head! Something that I had also learned from my mom! I told him I'm a bit more used to it than other Americans cuz of my mom, but I'm also a little freaked out by animal heads sometimes. He told me about how he'd like kill his own chicken and pluck it and cook it and that was pretty normal. I thought it was pretty cool! He also mentioned that he had actually had dog as food and I was curious what it was like and he told me the meat was pretty tough so you had to like boil it for a long time or something similar to make it more edible. That's so interesting to me!!! Like, I've heard (usually white) Americans be racist about dog as food, ofc, and heard others rebut that, but I'd never really heard that the meat is actually really tough and doesn't taste all that great on its own, at least according to Narak. That's interesting to me!!

Or like how my Russian immigrant customers/patients were some of my favorites! (I'm a pharmacy technician.) The women in particular actually scared my coworkers a bit because they could be very demanding of good work. If you were new, they would tell you to get them an employee who knew what they were doing. 🤣 But we had one regular who, if she liked you, would give you a chocolate. I actually loved these customers because, even tho they seemed harsh to a Midwest American culture, to me they were very no-nonsense and always knew what they were picking up and what they needed and what it was supposed to cost. It was such a different attitude from my other customers!

Or like another coworker I had, I think her name was... Victoria? Vivian? It started with a V, I swear. Anyway she was Hmong and I was Jewish, so neither of us were super tapped into Christian practices. On Ash Wednesday, she had to ask me why people had like black stuff on their foreheads. I told her it's Ash Wednesday and it's some Christian thing every year. She asks me why they do that and I'm like, "I'm Jewish, I don't know!!" 🤣 I also asked her what the dumbest like white person question she'd ever gotten was and she told me someone asked her once "are you Asian or are you Chinese?" That was the funniest fucking thing to me. There are so many problems with the structure of that question.

I just love these neat little differences in cultures from across the world that you just wouldn't know about unless you spoke to someone, yknow? They're not stuff that would normally be, like, in textbooks or travelogs or something because they're things you wouldn't think to point out to others unless it came up, usually. I love hearing about these little cultural differences that pop up and make some conversations so interesting. The lack of a/c in Sweden, how commonplace it is/isn't to believe in the trinity in Egypt, how race can be conceived so differently, that dog meat is really tough, how Russuan women can be delightfully demanding customers, how a Jewish woman and a Hmong woman can be equally confused by Christianity. I honestly love little cultural moments like this; I think it's a great argument against homogenization or assimilation. I get to learn so many interesting little tidbits about other places that I never would have even thought to have thought about!! It's honestly so sad to me how Americans like me can easily go our whole lives without ever learning this type of stuff or even recognizing that other cultures can be so different! Other cultures tend to be much more aware of this sort of thing than we are and it sucks. Not only because it's a form of oppression for Americans to be so America-centric, but also because you're missing out on so much by forgetting there's anything outside of America.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

For Every Action, A Reaction - Chapter 3 - Action and Reaction

Pairing: Raven Scientist (Victoria Van Gale/The Raven Leader)

Summary: Taking a step back from our poetry nerds, this instalment focuses on academic research projects, less than legal shenanigans, and most importantly, two coworkers who are smart enough to be geniuses in their respective areas but apparently not enough to confess.

Over the span of two decades.

Seriously.

Somebody has to do something. Before all their students lose their minds.

Complete!

Notes: HAPPY HILDA S3 TEASER EVE!!!! Posting this today instead of Thursday as usual because I Do Not want to compete with the fandom's hype tomorrow kjsdkjsdfh

Thank you to everyone that read this! If all works according to plan, this won't be the last you'll see of the Carpe Diem verse :)

Read it on ao3: (Carpe Diem verse) (previous chapter) (this chapter)

She should have studied engineering. Everyone in her family had told her that. If you’re already going to submit yourself to STEMS bullshit, better to do it in a prestigious area, at least. But no, she just had to follow her “passion” for weather sciences. Now she couldn’t even plan a sabotage smoothly. Pathetic.

Of course, she knew her ways around electronics well enough; the lab was scattered with a couple of inventions of her own that aided her in one part of the project or another. But her gadgets were always either very simple, or related to the area of study she was actually an expert on. This, though? This was neither.

The devices would have to be able to induce malfunctioning on every single voice box that the poor, desperate students working for Ahlberg’s project had built, causing enough of a ruckus to at least force them all to stop their practical work and go back to the theory, or at best signal to whoever was responsible for deciding which projects got funding and which didn’t that that was a bad idea. The ‘causing a ruckus’ part was easy enough; what was currently keeping Victoria and her student up and in the lab past hours was the ‘not harm anyone in the process’ part, which either was much more difficult or just seemed like it due to Victoria’s much bigger affinity for bringing shit down.

“You think it’ll work this time?” Raven stepped back from the round device they were working on, made of many strips of metal fused together into the ball shape, eyeing it warily. The design was supposed to help it on the ‘self-destruct’ part, in order to avoid them getting caught, but none of them had made it so far on the test runs yet.

“Only one way to know.” Victoria answered, sounding tired. She was usually excited at the lab; no matter what ridiculous situations that University threw at her, she loved her job. That day had just been so damned long that she was feeling the urge to press a self-destruct button for herself.

And, just as she was going to press on the remote that was controlling their creation in order to test it once again, they heard a knock on the door.

“What the-” Victoria whispered, tensing up as the thought of them having been caught in the act immediately came to mind.

“Here.” She threw the remote to Raven, who only barely didn’t let it drop to the floor. “If it isn’t anyone we should worry about, carry on without me. We don’t have time to waste.”

He looked at the remote as if it might explode in his hand, none too happy about the idea of running the test himself (which was fair, seeing as many of the past attempts had exploded in his vicinity), but the professor had walked away to the door before he could protest.

Knowing her messy bun must look like it was falling apart and there was nothing she could do about it to cause a better impression on whoever was on the other side, Victoria opened the door. And imagine her surprise (and utter relief) when it wasn’t another professor, or someone from the board, or even a student of hers, but rather Kaisa’s girl.

“Johanna?” She glanced at Raven inside, letting him know with a look that it was safe to proceed, and then at the clock. The only reason why students came there was to ask her about her subject or about her assignments. If Johanna decided to quiz her on some artistic bullshit, Victoria was screwed.

The second explanation for her coming here that crossed the scientist’s mind was Kaisa needing help, which immediately shook her off of her exhaustion. But Kaisa would call her herself if she needed, wouldn’t she? Unless her situation was too dire to walk or talk, which was a terrifying thought, but Johanna would hardly be standing there, looking calm albeit embarrassed, if that were the case.

“Hi, goodnight, Victoria.” Johanna shifted her weight from one foot to the other, and why did Victoria get the feeling she was about to be roped into something ridiculous? “Sorry to bother you, it’s silly, but when you have some free time, could you maybe help me with something? It won’t take much of your time.”

“I… yeah, of course.” She only hoped they didn’t need couple’s therapy or anything of the sort, because really they had come to the wrong fucking person if that was the case. “Is this about Kaisa?”

Johanna confirmed her suspicion, luckily still acting coy enough that Kaisa definitely was in no danger, and Victoria offered to give her her number so they could text. There were sheets of paper on her desk, even if most of those were discarded ideas for her ploy that she truly shouldn’t give away to just anyone, but eventually she found an old shopping list she could jot her number down on.

“Professor Van Gale, this isn’t working!” Raven screeched, making Victoria wince when she looked in his direction. There was smoke coming from the device, which was not supposed to be happening, and he was covering his mouth and nose with his lab coat.

“Ugh, just hold it for a minute, I’m coming!” She rushed to give the girl the paper and the most polite ‘good night’ she could manage, before closing the door and rushing to fix whatever nonsense life had in store for her now.

…......

Raven had to hand it to her, the professor put her money where her mouth was at. He only wished her mouth wasn’t at places that left him wondering if she was insane.

Were she any other professor trying to come out on top of a situation, he was sure he would have been left alone to do the dirty work, forced to put himself on the line because he would have been threatened with the loss of his spot on her programme if he didn’t do what she wished. Van Gale wasn’t at all that type of person, though, and maybe that was why Raven put up with everything he did. Instead, she had insisted she could do it all on her own, and he had tagged along because someone responsible had to be present. He told himself it was out of loyalty, but truly it was equally likely that he had lost his mind after so long spending his afternoons in a small lab with her. Anyone would, really.

He had been left with lookout duty, given strict orders to signal her and disappear completely if someone came, lest someone see him and put him in trouble. Raven did his job minutely, keeping his eyes and ears attuned to any odd motions, trying hard not to think about how very easily the professor had picked the lock to the facility that hosted Erik Ahlberg’s project. In the dead of night, the campus eerily quiet and foggy, he felt like he could very well be in a graveyard.

He only hoped his reputation wouldn’t lie there to die that night.

Luckily, the only sounds he heard throughout the whole thing were those of Victoria skillfully attaching their creations to the voice boxes the project worked on, and after less than an hour, she walked back over to where he was and began locking the door again, always wearing a pair of gloves and her hair tied so as not to leave any traces.

“Let’s get the hell out of here, Raven.”

Never had a sentence coming out of his tutor’s mouth left him so relieved.

He tip toed back to his shared student apartment with the hairs at the back of his neck standing on end, still observing his surroundings as if he were on the lookout. Technically, anyone was allowed to walk around campus at two in the morning, but he still might receive questions if he was caught and he didn’t think he could convince anyone about midnight jogging when he was dressed like he was going to work.

Upon arriving home unseen, Raven breathed a sigh of relief, ready to head into his room and pretend none of that had ever happened. Until, that is, he realised that the lights in the common area were on, and whoever was there must have heard him arriving. He did trust the boys he lived with, but just so he didn’t jinx it, he had preferred to keep the whole sabotage thing between him and Van Gale, and he didn’t want to be raising any suspicions when he was now so close to coming out of this story unscathed. So after a beat, Raven dragged himself to the kitchen, figuring a glass of water would do him well, anyway.

“Bit late for you to be up, isn’t it?” Tontu’s voice greeted him from where he was sitting on the couch, knitting. Raven silently thanked the stars that it was him and not Alfred; mysterious as he was, Raven knew that Tontu wouldn’t give him too much grief about whatever lie he told.

“Yeah, I had trouble sleeping and decided to go get some fresh air.”

Just as predicted, Tondu didn’t question him, only muttered something about finding arts and crafts to be very soothing. And then he said something that almost made Raven spit out the water he was sipping on.

“I had been meaning to talk to you alone, anyway. I know something you might want to about the Ahlberg guy. I remember you telling me the project you work on needed some of the grants that go to him.”

Pretending he hadn’t nearly just choked, he attempted to put his most innocent face on as he turned his falsely naive smile to his flat mate.

“Oh, truly?” God, how he hated acting. “What would that be?”

“Well, I was talking to King.”

“King?”

“Yeah, one of the janitors.” Tontu kept knitting like that should have been common knowledge. “You know, Rat King, big guy, smile’s a bit crooked when you tell them ‘good morning’, knows everybody’s business.”

Raven did not, in fact, know. He had no clue why a janitor would be in on, in Tontu’s words, ‘everybody’s business’, much less why the hell he was called ‘Rat King’, but he was almost sure he remembered a tall man who did give him a lopsided smile when he greeted him on his way to work. He wondered exactly what kind of intel the man would have, and if his silence could be bought with anything Raven or Victoria owned if it was something incriminating to them.

“Okay.” He drew on the word longer than he needed to. “What did he tell you?”

Even though Tontu’s voluminous hair covered most of his face, Raven could see the excited smile underneath, which made him shiver, if he were being honest.

“You’re in luck. There is some dirt on him that might just be enough to deal with your problem.”

…......

It was a day. Not a particularly great day, or a wonderful day, or even a good day. But it sure was a fucking day, and Edmund was trying to be more grateful lately.

He was still working on it, okay?

Most of the other students who worked on the project had already been at their testing area on the edge of campus when he arrived, right where the University’s property ended and the forest began. They were doing a general test run today, finally getting all of their voice boxes to work in sync to see if they had the desired effect; small groups of engineers and physicists worked on their devices, each group with at least one Ecology student. This had been one of the only wins Professor Bloom had achieved when the project had been approved, that it would need to have a minimum amount of her students so they could, at least, make sure that the wildlife they were dealing with weren’t being hurt by their pathetic plans.

The Ecology students in the project were, for that reason, usually referred to as “Bloom’s spies” by the other ones who were there working with them. But it was much more of a fond nickname than a jab - even Ahblerg’s students could see that this project was useless at best. They were all only there because there were many openings and it paid well, and they all knew it.

Sure, there had to be one or two engineers there who were actually interested in the inner workings of the voice boxes they had been perfecting for so long, but no one there (other than Erik Ahlberg, who barely made the effort to even show up) actually believed that what they were doing was important. Troll bugs weren’t a threat to anyone, as anyone with more than two brain cells could attest to. Sure, they tend to chomp on leftovers if you leave them out unprotected, and if one ends up biting you it will hurt like a bitch for a couple of hours; but that was it. No poison, no diseases, no imbalance in the food chain caused by them, and they will leave you alone unless you go out of your way to get close to one. Troll bugs were much more afraid of humans than humans had any right to be of them, as was usually the case for beings no bigger then two inches, much to some people’s confusion.

What was worse, they were an endemic species on its way to becoming endangered. Their habitat already occupied a small area, with the campus and new roads being built directly inside it, it had only been getting harder for them to survive. Yet some people had the nerve to complain when they were living directly inside the land where that species had lived since they evolved into existence. And some people even had the nerve to lead a research project to find ways to scare those bugs away.

Edmund, as well as everyone who had worked there long enough, was sure that had Birgitta not managed to put her own students inside the project, Ahlberg would have aimed for killing them, ecosystem be damned.

He nodded grimly to Gerda as he walked by the desk her group was at, and she answered in kind, returning the “it sure is one fucking day” sentiment. So good to be this connected to your friends.

He arrived at his station and noticed that not even the engineer and physicist he worked with seemed happy to be there. Maybe they all knew that if they accidentally harmed the creatures with their invention, Edmund would not be happy with them.

Huh. How nice to be recognized as a bug avenger. That seemed like a reputation he could get behind.

Later than all of them, Professor Ahlberg eventually arrived and gave a speech that was drawn out for way longer than it needed to be. Something about being able to live with privacy and comfort without fearing for themselves. Edmund wasn’t really listening, he had quit paying attention when he realized that the sentence but they’re just fucking bugs would be the only thing he’d manage to think during the entire time he did so. At some point he stopped talking, and led them all to activate their voice boxes at the same time.

When they did so, a loud screeching came from the boxes, which Edmund imagined would be what it would sound like if bells could be out of tune. They all pressed their hands to their ears, having forgotten the possibility of needing ear plugs; the sound frequency was supposed to be unbearable only to the bugs, they were supposed to be just fine. But if this was their ‘just fine’, Edmund thought, than the bugs must be in complete agony.

He was about to shout at them to stop, and as he looked around he saw other fellow ‘spies’ looking like they were about to do the same, when something went very wrong. The screeching began to come into a halt, the pitch becoming lower and lower as smoke began to come from the voice boxes, one at a time. All tests were immediately terminated, though the smoke didn’t cease, and a loud metallic ‘pop’ came from each of the devices. Ahlberg looked at the smoking desks scattered around the campus’ edge with complete horror as engineers unscrewed the soundboxes’ diaphragm searching for the broken component, and finding it without having to look any further.

Inside each of the boxes, there were strips of metal, still smoking and hot, that could only have been part of the machinery but which none of the engineers could remember ever having been part of their system.

Well, Edmund thought as he walked away from their testing area, trying not to look too pleased. Maybe practicing gratefulness does bring good things along.

…......

Later that same day, he walked into his professor’s office with a smug smile that was the universal code for “I have come as bearer of hot gossip”. Bloom wasn’t in as much of a slump as she had those weeks before, but she still didn’t look or sound as cheerful as her former self. Edmund could only guess what had happened, but it was enough to make him feel a little guilty for it, and he’d been trying to make it up to her since then. He had a feeling that the news of Ahlberg’s project having to be backtracked at least several months before returning to full activity would lift her mood up.

It was really getting distressing to have to keep pretending to not see the constant stiffness of her face, or to not hear her sad sighs.

“Ask me how work went today, professor.” He said after they greeted each other, sitting down on his usual chair. Birgitta lifted her gaze from her laptop, where she’d been looking for his most recent copy of his thesis work, and lifted an eyebrow. They didn’t talk a lot about his job at the project, only when it was to complain about it, so seeing him mention it while seemingly in a good mood was understandably confusing. Not to mention, she had known the first official test was coming up soon, and had been seething about it alongside Edmund for a long while.

“Well, how did work go today?”

Edmund leaned forward a bit, compensating for his lower tone of voice.

“It was disastrous.” That alone was enough to visibly capture her interest. “We went to test the machinery all at once to finally see if it would have the desired effect, but something inside every single one of them exploded and the soundboxes stopped working completely! We will all have to go back to the first stage and plan the devices out from scratch. It’ll take forever, maybe by then the board will agree to give that funding to something a bit less useless, at least.”

Birgitta blinked, something about every last soundbox malfunctioning at the exact same time not sitting well with her. It was just too perfect. The main step towards getting those inventions to actually be put to use disrupting the ecosystem getting completely thwarted like that was too good to be true. It made her wonder if she’d hired some sort of hitman to do it during her sleep walking bouts at night. That sounded exactly like the sort of thing she’d do, especially asleep when her subconscious wasn’t being filtered by any annoying morals.

“That sounds… oddly coincidental, doesn’t it?” There was a smile tugging at her lips despite the suspicious situation, strengthened by the grin her own student was giving her. “What part of the machinery exploded?”

Edmund shrugged, which made Birgitta assume that he didn’t know since he wasn’t one of the students responsible for actually building it. The response, however, threw her off.

“That’s the best part. I don't know, but nobody knows either. The physics and engineering guys are probably still there, because no one recognizes the piece that triggered the system malfunctioning. It was in every single soundbox, yet no one remembers ever having installed it, or what it was supposed to do, or can spot it in the blueprints. I’m half convinced there were some, I don’t know, bug fairies or whatever that didn’t want this to work out. We lucked out so hard.”

But Birgitta didn’t really believe in luck. In karma, maybe - heaven knew how much Ahlberg had yet to receive from it - but not luck. Good things, she believed, came from the love we spread, the people we captivate, the messages we share.

And apparently, they also come from pea-brained scientists who wouldn’t be able to distinguish a terrible idea if it kicked their door open and hit them into next week.

Because it didn’t take hours of analysing this new information and deliberating for the truth to come to Birgitta. She knew what had happened as soon as Edmund had stopped talking. There was only one person in the entire campus who had both the reasons, the means, and the absolute fucking hubris to go and sabotage the largest ongoing research project the university had.

And she was going to have to explain herself.

…......

If there was any activity more depressing than correcting exams, Victoria was unaware of it. Every year, students came excited to learn about clouds and wind and humidity and whatnot. Every year, Victoria had to disappoint them by revealing that meteorology had more to do with physics and calculus than with the “wonder of mother nature” or whatever the hell those hippies who somehow always found themselves in her classrooms had been expecting. You try studying fluid on a constantly moving platform and see how fun it is.

Technically, she could have left that task to Raven, but after having submitted him to their… extra hours last night, she had thought he deserved a day off. She supposed she could have taken a day off too, since she had no classes to lecture that day and any student who wanted to talk to her could just send her an email, but what was she supposed to do? Just stay home? She wasn’t even sure she knew how to, or what the protocol for that even was. Hell, her students might even become worried something had happened to her if she didn’t show up at campus for the first time in… well, since she began working there, truth be told. Not like she had much else to occupy her time with, after all.

She was about to start correcting another (clearly begrudgingly answered) exam when an urgent knock sounded from the door behind her. Her heart leapt to her throat as her mind immediately reminded her that she was very much guilty for something that was very much a crime, and someone in that college had to be smart enough to figure it out. It was all a matter of how lucky she would be in regards of who was the said bearer of the brain cell.

Very lucky, it seemed.

“Victoria.” She would have recognized the voice anywhere, even if she could hardly remember ever having heard it sound that angry. “You better be kidding me right now, I swear-”

Victoria’s best option was, evidently, playing dead. Some small, childish part of her wanted to see how much angrier Birgitta would get if she pretended to be a programmed recording and said that there was no one at the lab and then just not speak any further, but she valued her life a bit more than that. Just a tad bit, but she did. But if anyone deserved to hear it from her, it was Birgitta. Had she never found out, Victoria wouldn’t be able to attest to her morality going so far as to make her confess, but she would feel the need to share it with the woman who had been her close friend for so long. Since she already clearly knew, however (Victoria couldn’t think of any other recent fuck-ups from her part. Birgitta had never answered her last messages but barging on her office weeks later was hardly going to be her way to do it), it would simply be stupid to play dumb. If she at least talked it through, she would have a shot at getting her to not denounce her.

So she got up, and opened the lab’s door to a very angry Birgitta Bloom, her arms crossed on her chest and her eyes glaring at her in a way that, if looks could kill, Victoria would be dead and buried by now.

“Uh, hello!” She attempted sounding normal, even though seeing her again made her heart ache and seeing her like this made her feel like the smart choice was to jump from the window and run from the hills. “Maybe we should have this conversation inside.”

“Maybe we should.” Birgitta agreed, voice icy as she walked through the door that Victoria held open for her without as much as a glance in her direction.

“What the hell.” She wasted no time in saying as soon as they were alone in the lab. “Are you for real? Single handedly putting a halt to the only overfunded project in this university? Have you lost your mind?”

“Well, it wasn’t-” Standing by the door at a safe distance from the fuming ecologist, Victoria was going to say it hadn’t been ‘single handed’, but then realised that it would be better to keep poor Raven’s name out of this. “That big of a deal. Just a little messing with their soundboxes, you see.”

Birgitta squinted in a way that let her know she’d seen right through the slip up. “You know what I mean. It was too big of a risk. People could have gotten hurt!”

“No, they wouldn’t!” Victoria protested, hoping it was Birgitta’s anger speaking and that she didn’t actually think so low of her. I mean, it’s not like she would never hurt people, but hey! Rude! “I promise, I tested it countless times. It was projected to cause malfunction on the devices and then self destroy, but nothing more! My gadgets were the size of a fist, there wouldn’t be much harm done even if it hadn’t been inside the boxes.”

Lifting an eyebrow and looking like she was trying to scan the scientist for lies, Birgitta drew out a “Really?” while she looked around for remnants of that project. There were none. She’d made sure to do away with them all first thing in the morning - which meant she’d taken it all home, burned what could be burned, torn what could be torn, and thrown it all in a ditch in the middle of who the fuck knows where. She hoped Birgitta never found that part out. She might get mad about the littering.

“Yes, really.” Victoria lowered her gaze, feeling uncomfortable with the conversation. She supposed she deserved it, but she really liked it better when Birgitta thought she was only ‘kooky’ mad and not ‘dangerous’ mad. In some ways, it was good she had found out, though. At least maybe she’d see Victoria was not the person she thought she liked and her senseless rejection wouldn’t pain her.

And like she’d heard her thoughts, Birgitta touched that exact matter.

“Does this have anything to do with what you told me?” Victoria looked around the lab, anything but stare at Birgitta’s face as she came to all the right conclusions. “With us not keeping in touch, with you needing to do the right thing…?”

What was more disgraceful, she wondered. That she’d really given that piss poor excuse to someone she loved, or that her actions were so insane that the excuse had begun to make sense.

“It does.” She admitted with a sigh, tugging at the hem of her lab coat. “Birgitta… I don’t expect you to listen to me. I certainly don’t expect you to forgive me. But since it’s out, I have to let you know. I hated that I needed to tell you that. I was looking forward so much to getting to know you in a new way, have been for years, but… the morning after we talked, I realised that if I got caught, and we were dating, people would take you for the head of the operation. Everyone knows you rightfully hate that project, the connection would simply be too easy to make, and then I’d drag you down alongside me without you having done anything wrong!”

Victoria hugged her torso. Her voice had grown louder in her agitation, reverberating against the lab’s walls and machinery, and she noticed it and toned it down. She couldn’t see Birgitta’s face, staring at her feet as she was, but at least the woman was silent and letting her speak. She could only hope that didn’t mean she now feared her. Victoria didn’t think she could survive that.

“I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t take a chance on you taking the fall. So I decided that cutting us off before we even started would hurt less. And here we are. At least I get to tell you all of this.”

Taking the scientist completely by surprise, Birgitta scoffed.

“Maybe you should have let me make that choice, don’t you think?” She asked when Victoria snapped her gaze up to meet hers. Rubbing at the bridge of her nose, Birgitta sighed, muttering a ‘God, I can’t believe this’ under her breath. “Have you ever talked to any of the students who work there, Victoria?”

Caught off guard yet again, Victoria squinted, wondering where she was going with this. “No?”

“Well, I have. And let me tell you, they all hate it. You and I can have our ethical concerns about it, but those kids hate it with the kind of burning passion you can only feel when you spend too long around Ahlberg. Right now, they are all realising that all of their devices went down, at the same time, because of a piece no one can remember having put it there. And what do you think they will do?”

Victoria was about to answer ‘look for the culprit’, her stomach dropping, when Birgitta answered herself.

“They won’t do anything. In fact, I think your work is done forever now, because those kids will probably decide that sabotage is a great idea and try it every time a general test is upcoming. They’ll keep vandalising Ahlberg’s project and getting the money that they need, and honestly, good for them. No one will find out, Victoria, because the only people close enough to actually see how clearly set up this was could not care less.”

Relief would have flooded her. It definitely should at this news that, hooray, she was probably not going to jail! But Birgitta was deflating now, looking more exasperated (and just slightly amused), and something she’d said made her feel even more confused than she was relieved.

“‘Good for them’, really? I thought you were mad, shouldn’t you not be endorsing this?”

“What? Oh-“ Birgitta hummed, realising what this must look like from Victoria’s point of view. “Oh, no, I’m not mad about the sabotage. Ahlberg’s had it coming. What I’m mad about is you pushing me away because of it, and not even caring to explain!”

“I didn’t want to involve you in all of this!”

“Didn’t you, or didn’t you trust me to agree with you?”

The question gave Victoria pause, and she tapped her fingers against one another nervously.

“You may have a point.”

And could she be blamed, really? When the entire world agreed that left was the way to go, Birgitta would follow right if she thought that it was the kind, the thoughtful, the correct thing to do. Why should she expect her to agree to something her own student could barely get behind?

“Maybe.” Birgitta sighed. “Maybe that should have been a reason for you to rethink your plan, not to cut me off entirely.”

Not that it would have been a problem, Birgitta thought to herself, at worst I would have gotten you in contact with some students working there so you could plan it better.

Victoria at least had the sense to look properly chastened (it wouldn’t have been too surprising if she hadn’t), and Birgitta was feeling like she had run out of steam. Being angry was truly tiring, specially at someone she held so dear, and the little ‘you’re right’ that the scientist gently uttered pierced through the rest of her discontent.

It was fine. They were fine. Neither of them had done something horrible, nor had Victoria realised that she’d be miserable dating her or anything of the sort. It was just one of Victoria’s usual shenanigans, albeit admittedly bolder than she’d seen her try before. They were going to be alright.

“Were those all the reasons why you went back on our date, or is there anything else?” She asked, testing the waters. When Victoria shook her head, Birgitta lifted an eyebrow as well as the corners of her lips. “Well, then, is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

“Oh!” Victoria looked at her, blushing. “Yes. I’m sorry. Is there any chance you could forgive me?”

“There is, in fact.” She smiled. For the moment being, Birgitta thought it better to not tell her she’d practically already forgiven it. It would do no good to give her the impression she could get away so easily with that sort of thing. “And is there any chance you’d like to rethink your statement about not going out with me?”

Victoria smiled at her like she was the only sun she would ever really care to study.

And unbeknownst to them, Victoria’s cellphone laid on her desk, awaiting for the moment she’d pick it up and read the messages her student had sent her.

………

Surprising a grand total of zero people, it seemed like the way in which Erik Ahblerg had managed to get all of that funding for his project was… less than legal. According to the information Raven had shared with them (and he refused to say where he’d gotten that from, only that it was a bizarrely trustworthy source), the professor had been bribing members of the research directory and the board of directors to push his agenda forward. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise; aside from money spent on materials and employing the students, it wasn’t an awfully expensive project, and yet it received many more grants than it needed, and now they knew where that spare cash went: into Ahlberg’s and his collaborators’ pockets.

They’d had to look into it, of course. Going to the higher authorities and saying she had gossip on a coworker wasn’t exactly going to lead her anywhere useful. But what Victoria did do, alongside Birgitta and other professors who resented that misuse of the university’s money, was request a thorough investigation of the destination given to those grants. What they ended up with was a long and scandalous list of people who Ahlberg was working in concert with, all of whom were then signed up for longer investigations into the source of their money and their actions in regards to their professional life.

Victoria hadn’t been the smallest bit surprised to see the Lyman sisters’ name on that list. She’d taken great pleasure, in fact, in watching the news of their participation in the corruption spread around campus, feeling like she was Karma itself; the very night the list had first been divulged, she’d called Kaisa and as soon as her friend picked up she hit her with a joyful “Guess what, nerd, I got your revenge for you!”

She knew some part of Kaisa had had to be pleased. No one willingly stuck around Victoria for that long unless they were a little bit fucked up as well.

None of that completely solved Victoria’s underlying issue, however. Sure, Ahlberg’s project was discontinued, and the grants were redistributed around other projects on campus, but hers was still vastly underfunded. It bothered her, of course, to know how far she could go and not be able to do it. But it didn’t make her grieve as much as she once would. Because now, for the first time in years, Victoria had something other than her job to live for.

She had strolls through the campus. She had late night phone calls. She had trips to the botanical garden and to the museums in Trolberg. She had movie nights. She had gentle touches and kisses that made her believe that the world was good, after all.

So maybe she didn’t have it all; no one really did, however much they would like to pretend otherwise, did they? But she had enough to overflow the gap that she’d failed to fill during all these years trying to stuff numbers and research and projects into it.

Victoria had enough to be happy. And now that she knew what that was like, she was never going to let that go.