#accidentialconfessional

[always-angelic-aspie-alice]

When I dream at night, I want them to play out like this: romantic, perfect, eternal, beautiful, magical, with just a touch of reality.

Too bad I don't live my life like I live my dreams. At least, I can see ballets in real life.

Late last year, I saw The Sleeping Beauty by the Victorian Ballet Company. It. Was. Amazing.

I'm still into ballet-core, TBH. Just not as heavy-handed as I was late year with it. I had an Instagram about it and everything.

Now, I'm essentially less ballet-core, but more me?

I suppose I still love aesthetics. But they are not my whole identity, being, soul, personality, life, lifestyle. Aesthetics are only part of my life. They are an expression, but they are not the total sum of my life.

Still, I look forward to when I can wear my I Love Billie satin light pink ballet slipper-inspired shoes out again. They surprisingly don't go with everything.

Yet, I long to dance again. To feel. To move. I was going to re-start dancing earlier in the year. But due to a massive flare-up upon a flare-up, I had no choice but to watch and consume dance instead.

Some-time, it will be real. For real. For me. Some-time, I will be allowed the freedom, the gift, and the opportunity to dance again. Even if it's just a beginner class. I don't care. I need it.

Midsummer Nights Dream, New York City Ballet Production