#accidentally goes live once too but viewers only get a good 10 seconds of him asking for help with the darn thing

[cutieodonoghue]

mandomera week day 5: vacation - (featuring completely fake space instagram™)

When Omera asked if they could go on vacation, Din immediately agreed without question. They would take two weeks- two long, wonderful weeks- to visit a few quiet planets with natural beauty as their peak selling points.

After a week of casual hikes through rich green forests, soft orange sunsets against violet skies, and warm ocean water on bare toes, Winta insisted upon putting a camera on them both. Amidst the tidal wave of laughter that came when Din uttered, “What do you want me to do?” (“Just smile, silly!”) the girl snapped a few blurry action shots. 

At the end of the trip, Omera treasured Winta’s pictures from their family vacation the most. 

[narugen]

my brain cooked up a rly good hoshimina idea while i was in the shower

featuring best friends (begrudgingly) hoshina and narumi, siblings narumi and kikoru, exes or something but not quite narumina (not plot relevant. just a bit but only mentioned like once briefly). pet shop owner kafka, mina who’s a pro athlete (subject to change.) but works there some days to help out, and hoshina a barista at the coffee shop down the road (where mina is a regular at) and neighbours hoshimina

okay so narumi drags hoshina to the pet store (where hoshina got his german shepard) and is like. i think i need to adopt a cat. and hoshina is like with what money bc he knows that pro gamer/twitch streamer business is like . not there at all (narumi L) and narumi is like Of course kikoru will be paying (they don’t even live together. they’re next door neighbours bc kikoru couldn’t stand the idea of living with narumi who’s a MESS)

(context is kikoru’s parents are both gone 🙏 and narumi used to visit the shinomiya’s a lot so he’s basically their second child and kikoru’s older brother ok - they both inherited some money but kikoru got the larger chunk of it)

and hoshina is like i really do not think she will. and mina who’s on shift that day is like: “you again?” to narumi and hoshina is like oh this Beautiful person was not here when i bought the dog last time. Hello. (does not say this nor does he let it show on his face that he’s been dazzled by this pet store employee) (narumi notices IMMEDIATELY) and narumi is like, “mina-san, hear me out-,” and hoshina has to do a double take bc narumi NEVER addresses anyone with honorifics.

“i’m busy. go away.” she says and that’s clearly Not customer service to someone u don’t know so hoshina instantly realizes narumina know each other but doesn’t question it. instead he decides he needs to stock up on pet food for his dog (number 10 LMFAO. jk. maybe) and leaves narumi to be a big baby where the kittens are.

mina, back to customer service mode, asks hoshina if she can help with anything and hoshina is just like Too stunned to speak bc girl should be a Model or something not here selling pet food and he’s like Oh i got it don’t worry (not letting it show on his face)

they leave and narumi is like LOL you’re a loser and hoshina is just like i don’t want to hear that from you. ever.

they return the next day ANYWAY because narumi is ITCHING to get the fucking cat and hoshina is driving (narumi has his motorbike but is #lazy) and narumi makes kikoru come along to try and convince her to pay for the cat’s adoption fees and all its necessities

kikoru enters the store and LOVES the cats but no she will not be paying a single cent for it. narumi u can go fuck urself. and narumi is like but u can come over and play with it. and she’s like ur just gonna make me pet sit while u game for ur 20 viewers. (cue narumi rage noises)

and mina just SIGHS because narumi please leave me alone . god but at least hoshina is there (mina visits the coffee shop hoshina works at most mornings but i guess with the rush hour he never noticed her but mina has been like eyeing him for ages okay.)

anyway kikoru also goes wow she’s gorgeous when they’re back in the car after they leave empty handed and hoshina is just happy to have seen mina again :) and then narumi is like lol guess what. we used to date and they both do a double take (hoshina trying not to be obvious abt it and narumi is like HAHA!) kikoru is saying shit like narumi is too ugly too loser too disgusting to have seriously dated someone as beautiful as her and hoshina in his head is like Yeah. wtf. and that’s how hoshina finds out narumina were classmates in uni .

anw that’s not rly important but i do want to emphasise that mina doesn’t have any other friends aside from kafka so narumi checks up on her (to her own annoyance) every once in a while (accidentally became daily) and hoshina is like Hm. okay.

ANYWAY. one day hoshina come back from walking his dog and SURPRISE guess who’s his next door neighbor that he somehow never ran into despite living there for two years. ashiro mina 🕺🕺🕺 he’s like Too flustered to speak and mina is like (playing it cool) you were with that nuisance weren’t you (knows who he is)

and he’s like um yeah. unfortunately. and she just nods (HER BRAIN IS SILENTLY WORKING IN OVERDRIVE TRYING TO MAKE TJE CONVO LAST LOBGER BUT SHES SOOO OSHIT TALKING AND SOCIAL INTERACTIONS) so she gives up and decides this is where fate takes her. she has yet again failed to get the attention of the really cute guy. (also she knows they’re neighbours)

but. BUT AN OPPORTUJITY ARISES when she unlocks her door and one of her cats ZOOMS out and she’s like ??’!&:&:$ and with her fast reflexes manages to grab it before it disappears and she holds in her arms and quietly chides it for being naughty and HOSHINA. hoshina found dead in a ditch because Oh That’s So Cute. the stoic pet store employee who hisses out insults to narumi (understandably) has an endearing side.

“does that happen often. you reacted pretty quick.”

“it’s not the first time but i swear my cats are good.”

and hoshina raises an eyebrow and is like. Multiple? and DING DING DING MINA HAS FOUND A CHANCE. she goes do u wanna. see them. and hoshina IS ALSO GOIING YIPPIE here’s my chance so he’s like Ahem Yeah . Sure. (panicking) but asks if her cats are okay with dogs first or if he shld bring his dog in (who is By the way. being very excited about mina and has been wagging its tail trying to get her attention the entire time. the moment mina smiled at it. hoshina died)

and yes! her cats are in fact okay with dogs so they enter her apartment and mina stalls at the entranceway bc she can’t remember if she’s cleaned the place recently or not but it’s thankfully NOT in a mess. hoshina laughs at the sheer amount of cat related items in her place and is like u must rly like cats huh.

(which would also explain why she told off narumi in the pet store for being too impulsive “don’t adopt if you can’t even take care of it. idiot.”)

ALSO ALSO. pro athlete moment comes in when mina has to travel to do whatever sport i haven’t decided and she needs someone to pet sit (would ask kafka but kafka was like Hey u like that guy don’t u why not ask him and he’s Literally ur neighbour?) so . More shenanigans. and mina is like crazy abt her cats so she’s like can we please video call every other day i know it’s annoying but i have to see my cats. and hoshina is just swooning thats so cute (mina then realizes its a bad idea bc seeing her not crush eye candy with HER cats playing with them and looking adorable IS SO BAD FOR HER HEART) and heahZ oh my goodness. I love love.

ARGHHH also hoshina eventually finds out she’s a regular at the cafe he works at when his coworker (i’ll make it one of the platoon leaders) greets her with ashiro-chan! and hoshina has to try not to burn himself on the coffee machine.

(from then on he memorises her order and makes sure to be the one who makes it and oh my god he writes cute things on her cups and gives her bonus goodies) . dies

HOW DO I END THIS I WANNA WRITE IT. but i cant get them going out too suddenly either there needs to be build up. pet play dates. ohhh one of her cats falling sick and she doesn’t know what’s wrong and she’s so so worried and hoshina is there to comfort her…. SLEEPOVERS when hoshina’s something idk maybe his shower stops working or something idfk and he crashes at her place. oughhhhhh

WHEN MINA GOES FOR HER MORNING RUNS ON THE WEEKENDS HOSHINA STARTS JOINING HER WITH HIS DOG (dying)

WHAT IF THET WENT CAMPINGTOGETHER. god okay i need to like find an ending i guess they get together BUT HOWWWWW im always stuck at endings damn.

[shokano19]

Dr stone characters as types of TikTokers

Warning: Contains manga spoilers for new characters! You can skip those you don’t know! 

Not sure where this idea came from exactly but I got super into it and it was really fun. Consider these to be my headcanons for a dcst AU where they don’t get petrified and instead everyone is TikTok famous. 

Senku

- science 101 - makes educational videos aimed generally at students struggling at school with subjects like biology, physics, chemistry, robotics, engineering, and astronomy, explaining them thoroughly and in a simpler form - random astronomical facts #n - goes live when he’s about to do a reaction experiment - wants to show his viewers how exhilarating science can be - rarely shows his face - tries to incorporate humour into his talks - it becomes evident he’s passionate or excited about the subject by his little chuckles - “visiting my father at NASA before rocket launch” - Taiju sometimes takes over his account as a lil prank - on everyone’s for you page with minimal effort - 14M followers

Gen

- magic tricks - social science veteran - shares psychology hacks he learned throughout his career - props his phone on his cola bottles to film himself - CEO of accidentally dropping his phone on the floor - Senku’s fanboy. Reacts to Senku’s videos on occasion by acting extra and makes a huge deal out of rare pictures of Senku - posts cut scenes from his magic show then makes separate videos revealing how he performed a certain trick - cynical, dark humour - makes his viewers question their moral compass - gets a lot of compliments for his hair - 10.5M followers

Chrome

- step by step 3 minute crafts - Senku’s fanboy #2. Video duets with Senku by building the same things as him, praises Senku a lot  - geology student studying mineralogy - storytime! - regular shout-outs from Senku - always has his precious rock/crystal collection displayed behind him as he films a video and makes sure to show them off every once in a while - 2M followers

Kohaku

- trash talks men without stuttering - films herself in front of a mirror most of the time - zooms a lot into her face and stares into the camera while speaking, looking dead inside - dimmed disco lights - ironic and sassy - usually spits facts about anything she talks about - confident vibes - ayo famous relative check (Lillian Weinberg’s niece) - her duets are cruel - 1.9M followers

Ginro

- the POV - makes relatable yet obscure videos - some questionable scenarios no one can explain - yes he wears a big towel on his head when impersonating girls   - includes Kinro in his videos a lot - anime weeb - always posts at unholy hours - refined sense of humour - majority of videos are taken in his bedroom - lowkey annoying - video replies to hate comments by either faking acting hurt and crying or sarcastically going along with them as a massive fuck you - 69k followers and he would like it if it stayed that way

Kinro

- beautiful scenery shots - only has a few videos, mostly nature and places he went to with his family and friends - “top 5 places you must visit this summer” - secretive about his account, no one except Ginro knows about it - 7.9k followers - after a while he switched to making ASMR?? which gained him fame overnight and now has …. - 45k followers (Ginro’s current worst fear being Kinro surpassing his own follower count)

Magma

- unpopular opinion guy - reacts to popular tiktoks and attempts to review them (for fun, he’s a jerk for clout) - loud af, angry & narrow minded - makes valid points sometimes - dislikes kohaku’s content (probably because he feels called out) - tried to cancel Senku and failed miserably - a lot of people disagree with his hot takes - ignored the haters but got some serious threats :( - considered quitting making tiktoks so he took break - apologized to those he insulted after some reflection time - now half of his account are just apology videos - people follow him for the tea  - 500k followers

Suika (aged up)

- the animal lover - mainly videos of Chalk being adorable, Suika teaching him tricks…and him wrecking the house - “animal crossing new horizons island tour” - “my top 10 favourite cartoons” - 11k followers

Tsuakasa

- long political talks - disputable ideals - renowned martial artist  - became famous after appearing on a broadcast program with Gen and won against him in mental battle - informs on what’s currently happening in the world - has a lot of supporters as well as haters - “today’s society is flawed because - ” - encourages viewers to write their opinion in the comments - reads every single comment as well as replies to them - occasionally talks about his childhood, the good and the bad - 7.6M followers

Ryusui

- chaotic - reviews popular console/pc games of any genre - youtube channel linked in his bio - the type to walk into his bathroom and say funny shit - bombards Tsukasa’s comments section with stuff like “drop yo workout routine plz” or “your hair looks so soft I bet it smells like roses” to which Tsukasa can only reply with “please leave me alone” - generally in everyone’s comment section. He’s everywhere - bi king - super friendly and approachable - ayo rich house checkkkk XD - flexes on his personal mini yacht  - 5M followers

Francois

- quick, stylish and helpful cooking tutorials - shares rare recipes - pro decorator  - worked at 4/5 star bars, restaurants and clubs - non-binary icon - sometimes in the background of Ryusui’s videos until a lot of people asked about their relationship and revealed that they also works as Ryusui’s personal chef - 3.2M followers

Ukyo

- variety content creator - gives walkthrough’s of his job as a sonar technician - sneakily exposes his workplace’s secrets while he’s at it too - likes to gather the kingdom of science and make dumb silly videos together - archery tips for beginners - starting a new language tips - video reacts to tiktoks he finds interesting - became popular after appearing in one of Gen’s q&a videos - after that he collaborated with many others such as Senku, Chrome, Ryusui - close to everyone - appreciated for his talents - 980K followers

Yuzuriha

- fashion icon in the making - shares her everyday outfits - talks about her favourite clothing and where she bought them from - DIY accessories - cute couple videos with Taiju - fun sewing lessons! - promotes her online shop - 330k followers

Hyouga

- the type to stand in front of the camera and cover the screen with writing instead of speaking - known for his lip care routines (owns a lot of lip glosses and lip cosmetics) - occasionally takes off his mask for lip care videos - Homura is always behind the camera helping him film - kudayari spear practices - Helps Homura promote her Instagram account - tries to keep an aesthetic - trips abroad vlogs - 770k followers

Mozu

- cringey e-boy - lip-syncs  - dances  - it’s so obvious he’s fishing for attention - secretly films Kirisame for a laugh, ends up with him running for his life as soon as she finds out - expect to get second-hand embarrassment - exaggerates a lot - needs to be stopped - does tiktok challenges with Kirisame (has to beg for her to agree) - Kohaku, Luna, Gen and Nikki have him blocked - Hyouga and Kirisame are literally the only ilr friends he has :,( - 420k followers

Luna

- popular girl wannabe - desperate to get on the for you page - everyone loves her though <3 - poses in front of the camera wearing her best clothes while cute music plays in the background - complains about how she’s STILL single - pros and cons of going to med school - reads a bunch of funny tweets and almost dies laughing - recently started following Senku and can’t shut up about his content - 200k followers

Bonus: all of them tried at least once, if not more, to recreate complicated dances that went viral on tiktok. Yes, even Senku.

Coming up with usernames for them is beyond me right now so feel free to add to these however you like!  ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

[jikook-is-soft]

JIKOOK FIC REC

I made this whole thing once before and accidentally deleted it and had to do it all over so RIP me. This time there will be less oneshots but that’s because I’ve read a fuck ton of chaptered fics this year so get ready. 

ONESHOTS

The Arrangement: Jikook are roommates in the BTS dorm and often find themselves sleeping in the same bed. the problem is Jungkook keeps waking Jimin up with his morning wood. Jungkook is in denial about his gayness and Jimin is hiding his until they come up with a little plan. Jimin will help him get rid of his boners so that Kookie’s sexual frustration will go away and stop waking Jimin up in the morning simple right? This is low-key really hot but I wish it was longer. 

A Knight’s Duty: Who doesn’t love a little porn with a plot am I right? Jungkook is in charge of guarding the crown prince Park Jimin, and it’s no secret that Jimin likes to get up to more than inappropriate things with the pretty knight. Read it read it read it

Thigh Highs: This one is super cute and super hot all at the same time. Jungkook comes home to find Jimin wrapped up in blankets and christmas lights. When he asks Jungkook to unwrap him he finds that Jimin is only wearing a t shirt and some thigh high socks. I swear this is some actual shit that Jikook would do, it makes me giddy. 

Live in Osaka: oh boy I LIVE for this oneshot. It’s based on the iconic vlive where Tae cock blocks Jikook by coming into Jungkook’s hotel room. you know the one “Jungkookie isn’t wearing any clothes” and Jimin hiding in the bathroom, yeah that one. Anyway this fic does a good job of describing the gay chaos that was this vlive. 

The Adventures of Jikook boyfriends: Okay this is precious. It’s a series of 12 oneshots in which Jikook are domestic as fuck. It’s so cute and fluffy (with the tinniest hint of smut) and definitely worth the read. 

White T-shirts and Brown Timberlands: shit. yes. okay. I swear this is an emotional rollercoaster. It made me laugh and cry and smile. Jimin and Jungkook have been together for eight years and Jimin realizes that it’s finally coming to an end as he holds the divorce papers in his hands. YOU GUYS, if this doesn’t hook you right away I don’t know what will. Don’t worry it has a happy ending, but that doesn’t mean it won’t make you cry. 

Okay those are the only really good oneshots that I’ve read in a while so now on to the juicy stuff, the Chaptered fics. There’s actually so many of these that I’m not sure I’ll even have time to put them all down but I’m going to try my darn best. 

CHAPTERED FICS

Comfort in lies: First things first TRIGGER WARNING there is rape and non consensual activity in this fic so if that bothers you in any way this may not be the one for you. That doesn’t dominate the whole story though. It’s canon compliant and is mostly about how Jungkook and Jimin come to terms with their feelings for each other. It made me cry big time just a warning. Their relationship in this is so pure and precious and not toxic like a lot of fics. Highly recommend this one (36 chapters)

Like Fire, Like Stone:  YES YES YES. This is yet another fic that made me bawl like a little child. It’s a shadow hunters AU but don’t worry you don’t need to know the show to enjoy this (I’ve never seen it and still love this fic). Jimin and Jungkook are childhood best friends that become each other’s Parabatai which is a bond made between two soldiers that connects them spiritually in order to help them in battle. The thing is parabatai are forbidden from being anything more than platonic, which is very hard for Jungkook when he starts to realize he may feel more for Jimin than he should. Please read this, it’s so good. (12 chapters) 

High For This: It’s easy to grasp. Jimin is a stripper and a certain young Jungkook starts to pay for all his time. It’s here that Jungkook convinces Jimin to be his BDSM sub. This is cute and sexy and also angsty. But still good check it out (18 Chapters)

All Your Glory: Fucking yes, this is so great. Jungkook and Jimin are both from rich powerful families that also happen to be sworn enemies. The two are supposed to hate each other and they somewhat do when they aren’t fucking each other’s brains out. Fuck buddy AU meets enemies to lovers AU meets business men AU. it’s fucking good okay? Read it (11 chapters) +a second part to the series. 

Whiskey: out of all the fics I’ve read in the past couple months this one stands out in my mind a lot. All I have to say is that if you read this please please listen to the music that goes with it because it’s an experience. Jimin is an omega cam boy but even with all the thirsty alphas watching him Jimin won’t ever succumb to his natural instincts, he’s independent and doesn’t need an alpha. However that changes when one of his viewers sends in his shirt and his smell sends Jimin into heat. this fucking hot and Pyscojimin has a twisted little mind that I love. (15 chapters)

crushes are the plague (and I caught your fever): Jungkook is the school bad boy and everyone knows that he has a reputation. However what people don’t know is that he’s dating the school angel and class president Park Jimin. this is so freaking cute but also really hot and I love it so much. (30 chapters)

Longing: a yearning desire: cry’s in Jikook. This is a soulmate AU in which the first words that your soulmate says to you appears on your wrist when you turn 18, unless your soulmates has already died. When Jungkook turns 18 his wrist is blank. This is really beautiful and Jimin is so soft here? I love love love this one so check it out. (11 chapters) 

Cherry: AAAHHH. Good old ABO fic. This is actually the sweetest thing it gives me butterflies inside. Jimin and Jungkook are childhood neighbors and best friends. When they are young they can’t help but sent each other and nuzzle into each other’s necks even though their parents get angry and try to stop them. Jungkook likes that Jimin smells like cherries. This is so freaking good you guys. there’s fluff and smut and angst and everything nice. (25 chapters)

Where you Belong: if Daddy kink makes you uncomfortable do not read this fic. I personally find this one absolutely adorable. Jimin thinks that he may be a little and decides to sign up for a website in order to find a daddy where he meets Jungkook. (There isn’t really any age regression here it’s mostly just Jimin being fragile and soft). It’s very sweet and soft (30 chapters)

(my heart beats) for you: Oh my God this one is so freaking cute. Jungkook becomes friends with Park Jimin who gets bullied at school. He thinks Jimin is the most adorable boy he’s ever laid eyes on from the day they meet and well into their older years. This warms my heart. There’s fluff and smut here which is a perfect combo. (4 chapters) 

Times Six: Okay I am SO SORRY. I know this is utter filth and completely fucking crazy but I HAD to add this fic. I don’t want to go into too many details and keep you from being surprised. Jungkook gets chosen for a super secret scientific project. As it turns out, super genius Park Jimin has succeeded in human cloning. When I say this is udder filth I really don’t say it lightly so please be cautious and good fucking luck to anyone that reads this one. (5 chapters) 

Falling for you again: Okay I remember reading this but I don’t actually remember if I liked it or not. I think I might have? who knows I read too much fanfiction. Anyway Jungkook gets into a car accident that leaves him badly damaged and erases his memory, specifically the memories of his boyfriend Jimin. The tags say happy ending so I assume that this one won’t make you cry too much....(4 chapters)

Into You: I read this a long time ago but I do remember liking it. Jimin is a very famous model and Jungkook is his bodyguard, but the fans don’t have to know that they are actually much more than that. There’s fluff and there’s smut and there’s angst so what more do you want. (7 chapters)

Expiration Date: Yes yes yes, a million times yes. I’m just going to add part of the actually story summary because they can put it into words better than I can “The age old story of two people that love each other so much that they are reincarnated because their bond is stronger than death. Take that, multiply it by 20, and switch the word love with hate.” Basically Jimin and Jungkook are like the opposite of lover soulmates. They are reincarnated and in every life they find each other, but the thing is once they meet all their memories of their past lives come back and they only have three months to live before they die and have to start it all over. THIS IS SO GOOD READ IT (30 chapters)

Appetite For Stars: Okay so you’re going to read the summary for this one and go “what the fuck”, but hear me out. The first chapter is defiantly uncomfortable so let’s get that shit out of the way. The second chapter is the reason that this fic is on here and don’t worry their is no pedo shit or underage sex. The second part to this fic is something I find very interesting so don’t get turned off by the first part. I”ll let you dive into this one alone (2 chapters)

Redo: Gonna be honest don’t remember this one too well, it was pretty far back in my ao3 history. Jungkook tries to get over his ex by having a one night stand and soon finds out that that one night stand just so happens to be his new roommate. (7 chapters)

Mono no aware: Ah the old “We were married and got a divorce so I haven’t seen you in years but suddenly you show up in my life again trope”. I think you can probably guess how this one goes, I highly recommend (10 chapters)

Tastes like victory: Why are there so many fics where Jimin is like a fragile stripper? Where does that even come from? But this fic is still really good, Jungkook is an underground fighter that meets Jimin, he teaches him how to defend himself from some nasty clients. (13 chapters)

Twelve: A New Chance: This one has a very interesting concept. For every person that you fall in love with it leave a mark on your skin. Gold is the most rare meaning that person is your soulmate. Black means mutual love, you may not be destined for each other but you’ll love each other none the less, and red means unrequited love. So far Jimin has 11 red marks. (13 chapters)

Coconut Head and McThiccens: Holy SHIT. Okay this might be my favorite fic on this list. I kid you not this is one of the softest and cutest jikook fics I’ve read in my life and I can’t believe I only found it recently. Jungkook is super boring and emotionless, almost like a robot. Jimin is the asshole of the school that everyone avoids because they know that he’ll tear the shit out of them if they get too close. However, Jungkook seems to be immune to anything Jimin does no matter how hard he tries to get a reaction, it frustrates Jimin. please please please read this oh my God you won’t regret it. It’s not finished yet there are still two chapters to go, but the author is updating soon (33/35 chapters) 

Alrighty I think that’s the end of this Jikook fic rec. There are more chaptered fics that I didn’t add to the list just because they weren’t special enough for me to remember/recommend. Enjoy all the jikook!

[icebirdsmateforlife]

reach for the sky (part 1)

Sid works a shitty job and uses his free time to put workout videos on the internet. Geno does the same, from the other side of the world.

A/N: Hello! :) Anybody still here? I promised new fic, and I finally have something for you. This is part 1 of a multichapter story and I’m going to update it as frequently as I can manage. Chapter 1 is just over 3k. Low rating, but it’s most likely going up to Explicit in future parts. This is going to be a SidGeno fic, of course, but there will be mentions and later an appearance of an ex-boyfriend/sometimes-hookup, just in case that’s not your thing. Okay, I think that’s it. Special thanks to @sheepassisted for the encouragement. And thank you also to everyone who’s sent me nice messages while I was gone, that really meant a lot. <3

“So,” Sid says, smiling into the camera. “You guys did a great job, making it through the whole thing. Let me know if there’s anything specific you’d like to work on and I can put something together for you in one of my next videos. Have a great day, and I hope to see you back next week.”

He’s been saying those same sentences so many times by now it comes out on autopilot, and he knows it probably sounds a little rehearsed, but he still gets enough views on his channel. So all things considered, it probably doesn’t matter that much. He gets himself a bottle of water from the kitchen and leans back against the counter — he’s going to have to get in a proper, longer workout for himself later, but doing these little videos is fun. More than he’d expected when he started doing them, honestly. It’s fun to do something that he hopes will inspire at least a few people.

He doesn’t bother showering. He’s headed for the gym anyway once he’s watched through the video to make sure it’s usable. He doesn’t usually do a lot of editing, unless he screwed something up during the routine and has to start over. But today’s video should be fine; just a quick fifteen-minute thigh workout for beginners.

His phone rings, and he goes to pick it up off the coffee table.

“Hey, Flower,” he greets, and takes another long drink of water.

“Dinner tonight,” Flower says without greeting. “7pm, my place. Bring wine.”

Sid laughs. “What if I have plans?”

Flower huffs out a breath. “You will cancel them. It’s rude to turn down a dinner invitation from your best friend.”

Sid doesn’t have plans, and he doesn’t feel like cooking either, so this works out rather well. He also doesn’t feel like being alone. “Don’t you teach yoga until 7?” he asks, and Flower sighs.

“Cancelled. Burst pipe in the wall. Looks like we won’t be able to use the room for at least a week.”

“Oh. Well, that sucks.” Sid puts down his water. “Is it just the yoga studio, or -”

“The rest of the gym is fine,” Flower assures him. “You can go work out right now like I know you want to.”

“Okay,” Sid says, relieved. “I’ll see you at 7, okay?”

“See you then,” Flower says. “Don’t forget the wine,” and hangs up.

Sid smiles, drops his phone onto the couch, and gets his camera. He has a video to check and upload and then he can go and have some fun. He also has to put all the furniture back where it belongs, since the only way to have enough space for all this in his tiny apartment is to shove everything to one side of the room, allowing him to film in front of the empty wall by the window. It’s not the most convenient, but it works.

***

There are a lot of things that Sid enjoys about doing his videos. Reading through the comments isn’t usually one of them. But it’s a necessary part of this whole thing, since he needs to know if what he’s doing is helpful at all, or if anyone has comments or requests.

It’s not that he gets any hate in those comments. Most of them are very nice, just the usual “great workout!!” or “I’ve been doing this every day for a week and I’m feeling much better already, thanks!” He likes those. It’s why he’s doing this. To help people feel better in their own bodies, especially people who maybe can’t afford a gym membership or anything like that. People should be able to do stuff and learn about ways to exercise without having to pay money they might not have. Exercise is for everyone, after all. So, yeah. Most of the comments are really nice. It’s the few that comment directly on the size of his arms or butt and specific things they’d want to do with them that make him uncomfortable. Luckily, he’s learned to mostly ignore them when they happen.

He’s back home early and has some time before he needs to leave for Flower’s place, which is just down the block anyway. So he settles in with his laptop and finally tackles the comments from last week’s video: a simple 20-minute core strength workout.

It’s all a lot of the same. The nice stuff that makes him smile, and then there’s one request for a cardio routine that makes him wince — he’ll do it but it’s not his favourite thing to do — and one comment in what looks to be Russian, judging by the letters. And because it might be something important, some legitimate criticism or maybe another request, he copy and pastes it into Google translate.

“Nice workout,” it says. “I’ve been looking for something like this and it’s perfect. Thank you and greetings from Russia! Sorry, my English isn’t good. Maybe I’ll study for next time.”

Sid smiles. He’s not one of the popular people on YouTube and having a viewer from all the way across the planet is kind of nice. He types a message into the translator, “Thank you for watching! I appreciate it. Let me know if there’s anything you’d like me to record next!” and copy and pastes it into a reply. He doesn’t do replies often, but he wants to this time.

***

“Did your ass get even bigger since I saw you two days ago?” Flower greets him, pulling him into a quick hug and then slapping his butt as Sid walks past him into the house.

“Haha,” Sid says, and hands Flower the wine. “What’s for dinner?”

He likes hanging out here, in Flower’s small house. It’s comfortable and welcoming and he’s been here a lot since he moved into the city and met Flower. Who immediately took him under his wing and befriended him with a determination that Sid truly admires. Sid has other friends, but he sometimes thinks he’d be lost without Flower.

“Hi, Sid,” Vero says, and Sid smiles at her and hugs her, too. She moved in not that long ago, and he’s still getting used to her being here when he comes over to hang out. She’s nice and he likes her and considers her a friend, but it feels like Flower is settling down, maybe starting a family soon. He’s a few years older than Sid, but the thought still makes Sid’s head spin a little bit. He still feels like he barely even has his life together, still struggling to even pay rent some months, and his best friend has a house and a career and is probably going to get married in the not too distant future, to the same girl he’s been dating since he was a teenager. It’s all so stable and safe and grown up. It’s not that Sid is jealous, but...okay, maybe he is a little bit jealous.

“We’re ordering pizza,” Flower says. “I was going to make chicken casserole, but I think the oven’s broken.”

“Oh, that sucks,” Sid says.

Flower waves a hand. “We still got a microwave until we can have it repaired,” he says. Sometimes Sid envies his ability to always stay positive no matter what.

It’s a nice evening — the pizza is good, the wine is good too, and Vero has the best stories about the customer’s at the small boutique she works at.

And yet Sid can’t help feeling a little down all through dinner, and even when they move to the couch to keep talking until a second bottle of wine is gone as well.

It must be nice, he thinks, to have somebody to come home to. Somebody who is happy to see you. He’s never lived with anyone like that and hasn’t even dated in...well over a year now, and he’s lonely.

But at least he has friends who love him, and he knows that’s worth a lot. So he keeps smiling and ignores the worried looks Flower keeps throwing him.

***

It’s a little after 10 when he gets home that night and finds he accidentally left his laptop open earlier. He just means to close it, but when the screen wakes up as his finger brushes the touchpad, he thinks it can’t hurt to refresh the open page just once to see how many views he got on his new routine so far.

There are a few already, but also a notification. He has a message. He doesn’t get messages often.

When he sits down on the couch and opens it, the profile photo is the same one from the Russian commenter earlier, but this time, the message is in English.

“Hello Sidney,” it says. “Sorry bad English. You are very nice. I like video. Watch more from you, also very nice. I write you to practice English. Sorry if this strange. But I like your video. Have a nice day. Greetings. Evgeni.”

Sid reads it, then reads it again, and then hits reply. He may not reply to comments much, but with messages he always makes a point of writing back to people to say thanks or give advice if they ask for it. Evgeni’s message definitely deserves a thank you.

“Hi Evgeni,” he writes. “I’m glad you like my workouts. And don’t worry, your English is fine. Way better than my French for sure. I hope you have a nice day too and I hope to see you back here in the future.”

He hits send, then puts his laptop down and stretches his arms up over his head, stretching out his back before he gets up and heads towards the bathroom to get ready for bed. He has to be at work early tomorrow to open up the store. He’s not really looking forward to it — hates his job, to be honest — but he does have bills to pay and food to buy so it’s not like he has a choice. So as much as he’d love to stay on the couch for another half hour and listen to this podcast about random funny facts that he’s found a few weeks ago, it’s definitely bedtime for him.

***

There is a new message when he checks his phone over breakfast the next morning. It’s from Evgeni. Apparently he took Sid’s “I hope to see you back here” as an invitation to keep talking to him, and Sid can’t really say he minds. He likes talking to people. And he admires Evgeni’s dedication to learning English.

“Thank you Sidney,” Evgeni writes. “I’m glad you think my English not so bad. I’m work hard, try be better. But not have people for talk with English, so maybe much is wrong. You say to ask if there’s video we want. I’m think do some warm up maybe. Is very important. People forget sometimes. Greetings from Evgeni. Have a nice day.”

Sid thinks about it. It’s not actually a bad idea. He always focuses on the actual workouts; he’s mentioned the importance of warming up and cooling down a number of times, but he’s never actually made any videos for it.

He hits reply and writes back.

“Hey Evgeni, that’s a great idea, thank you! I’m going to think of something and put together a video. Two videos I guess. One for warming up and one for cooling down? I think there should be both. You’re right, people shouldn’t forget about it. Thanks again, I appreciate your input. Have a great day too!”

He has no idea what time it even is in Russia, but when he thinks about it he realises that Evgeni lives in the future and it must be the middle of the day for him already. Whatever. It’s never too late to wish somebody a good day.

He has to leave for work then, to spend his morning offering advice on running shoes and protein powder while his coworker is working the counter. It’s exhausting, having to smile and answer the same questions over and over all day, re-folding clothes that customers leave in a heap somewhere, and explain patiently that no, he can’t conjure those shoes out of thin air in size 10, but they can be here in two days if he orders them now, okay? It’s the opposite of fun most of the time. But it’s what he gets paid for, so he has no choice. It’s just not exactly what he dreamed of doing with his early 20s.

He doesn’t get a chance to check his phone again before lunch, and he’s not even surprised to find a new message from Evgeni. He’d sort of been expecting it at this point.

“Hello Sidney, I’m glad you like idea. I think is very important. I’m sure you don’t need idea from me, but some yoga is good stretches. Easy. Can be good for start. I’m do some videos also, lot of warm up I get idea from yoga. But is all Russian. Sorry. But I’m sure you will have very good idea without me. I will watch for sure. Greetings from Evgeni.”

Sid bites his lip and puts his sandwich down. He’s never much liked yoga, no matter how much Flower keeps poking him to try it, but now he’s curious. He follows Geno’s username to his channel, and yeah, there’s quite a collection of videos up there. He can’t read any of the titles, so he just clicks on the shortest one, which is just a little over six minutes.

What he sees is...not quite what he expected.

Evgeni is tall. Really tall. With long skinny legs and a quite impressive upper half. And his face is...Sid knows he should probably focus on the video instead of staring at the guy’s face, but Evgeni has gentle, sad eyes and a smile that makes Sid smile too, and there’s just a sparkle of something a little mischievous in his expression. His nose is a little big and his lips are chapped and his hair looks just a bit sweaty and he’s beautiful.

Sid doesn’t think he really has a type. But he does like tall and athletic. And, apparently, also a kind face and bony feet and very large hands. And a really nice butt, honestly.

Evgeni’s voice is soft, and the gentle rhythm of Russian is almost soothing to listen to as he does a lot of the same stretches that Sid likes to do, but worked into a nice, easy flow that looks a lot like Flower’s yoga.

Sid watches the entire video and then locks his phone and goes for a walk around the block before his break is over.

He knows he should reply, but it suddenly feels weird, now that he knows that this guy who’s been sending him messages looks like...like that.

He feels shy, all of a sudden. Which he usually isn’t. Only around very attractive Russians, apparently.

He will write back later, he promises himself. It’s just been a while since he’s really allowed himself to look at people like that and Evgeni really has very impressive shoulders. Sid feels a little ridiculous.

It was just a dumb workout video, for fuck’s sake. So what if the guy has a kind face and really large hands.

Maybe he should call David, see if he’s dating anyone right now. It’s been a while since they last saw each other, and obviously Sid’s loneliness and need for physical contact that’s more than a hug has reached a critical level. David would laugh at him for years if he found out that Sid got turned on by watching a stretching video, even if Flower used to tease him that “Perron is perfect for you, he’s as sexually attracted to gross and sweaty as you are.”

But no, he tells himself. He’s just frustrated in a lot of ways right now, but he’ll get over it. And write back later.

***

Later turns out to be that evening, once he’s home and has had dinner and nothing more to do for the night.

“I’ve checked out your videos,” he writes to Evgeni. “I don’t understand what you’re saying, but maybe I’ll try to follow along to one anyway. It looks fun! Maybe I will get some new ideas for my own warmups from that. A fresh perspective and everything. Thank you, Sid.”

He doesn’t expect a reply that night because of the time difference, so he leaves his phone in the kitchen, settles in front of the TV, and puts on a hockey game.

Hockey is always a nice distraction from everything. He’s been in love with the sport ever since he was a little kid. Never had the money to actually play it for any long stretch of time, other than with friends on frozen ponds, but it’s still his favourite.

So yeah. Hockey is always a nice distraction. It just can’t distract him tonight from the thought of a beautiful man with a kind face and a soothing voice, doing athletic things in extremely short running shorts that leave nothing at all to the imagination.

***

There is a message the next morning. Sid reads it sitting up against the headboard, before he has even made it out of bed.

“Hello Sid! So happy you like video! Sad we live far, maybe sometimes we can make video together if closer. But I’m sure yours will be very good. Maybe I’m make video in English one day for you. Need much practice first. If this too much, sorry, but this messages not best way for talking. So I’m give you email. Ignore if you don’t want, I will not be angry. )))) Greetings from Evgeni.”

And then there’s an email address at the bottom of the message and Sid puts his phone down on his pillow and hides his face behind his hands, grinning, takes a breath. Are they becoming friends? Because that’s what it feels like. He’s not sure it’s such a great idea, but...

But it would be rude to turn down an offer of friendship like this, wouldn’t it?

The weird sort of melancholy from yesterday has left him, too, and with it the uncomfortable feeling of embarrassment at noticing the simple fact that a person he’s talking to is quite objectively attractive.

He feels like himself again.

So Sid does the only thing he can do, picks his phone up, copies Evgeni’s email address, and opens his email app.

It’s only polite. That’s the only reason he’s doing this. Anything else would be crazy. They’re pretty much living on opposite sides of the planet. So he’s just being nice to someone who was nice to him first and who is nice to talk to. Making a new friend in the process wouldn’t be the worst thing either.

And learning more about Evgeni’s thoughts on mixing yoga with regular workouts definitely can’t hurt. It’s a sport. All sports are good. He can always get into a new sport. Evgeni knows more about this particular one than he does, obviously, even if he seems to use it sparingly judging from the videos Sid has definitely not marathoned in bed before falling asleep last night.

“Hi Evgeni,” he starts his email. “This is Sid. I agree that emailing is much easier than talking through those messages. I’ve been thinking a lot about learning more about yoga, now that I’ve watched your video. Since you say you’ve based some of your stretches on it. I have a good friend who is a yoga teacher. He’s been trying to get me interested for years. If I tell him that I saw your videos on the internet and now suddenly want to learn, he’s going to be so mad. That’s going to be a lot of fun. Do you do any actual yoga off the internet? Or is that just what inspires you? Thanks again for giving me your email address. Sid.”

He hits send and feels pretty good about everything as he rolls out of bed to start his day.

Part 2

[heather1815]

My little test subject: Chapter 10

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, and Chapter 9

Angsty Tomtord fic with slight Paultryk on the side.

Warning! This fic contains: Foul language, scenes of torture, use of medical tools, drug use, self-harm, suicidal tendencies, violence, self-neglect, blood, and a little bit of stockholm syndrome and force feeding. Viewer discretion is advised.

It's another stormy day in England. It's been raining for several days now, and the weather shows no signs of stopping. Hopefully, one of these days, the sun will finally get a chance to shine through again. But until then, the people of the town will just have to endure it.

A lonely figure climbed the steps towards his apartment. His coat and hoodie soaking wet from the rain. He carried four plastic bags, overfilled with groceries. Shaking himself to get rid of all the water still clinging onto him, he managed to toss the hoodie back from over his head; revealing his bright ginger hair into view.

Walking along the corridor, Matt stopped in front of an apartment door; not his own, but of his companion. Anxiously, he began to knock on it. "Edd? Are you there?" He called out, pressing his ear against the wooden surface to hear anything. But no answer. "Come on Edd. open up, buddy! It's me! Matt!"

It's been nearly a month since they got the dreadful news about their friend's unfortunate passing. And worse still, it was the last time since he'd seen his green hooded friend. Edd took the news hard. He locked himself in his apartment, and refused to go out. He didn't talk. Matt is pretty sure he hasn't been eating either, considering he never saw him go buy any groceries as of late. It worried him a lot.

Matt was helpless in this situation. He came by Edd's door every day, more than twice sometimes, to knock repeatedly, and call out to him only to be met with more silence; resulting in him going back to his own apartment in defeat. He'd tried everything at this point. He knocked on the door multiple times, so much so his knuckles were starting to turn a light shade of purple. He rang the doorbell to the point it broke. He called Edd's phone constantly, but it was never picked up.

"Edd? Please talk to me!" Matt pleaded through the door, still knocking. "Please? I just want to know if you're alright." He leaned his forehead against the door tiredly. He's been doing the same routine every day. Matt wasn't sure how long he can keep this up. How long Edd can keep this up. But for Edd's sake, he needs to keep going. They already suffered so much in the past. And now, with him gone…

Sighing in defeat, Matt backed away from the door; staring at it intently. He began to make his way to his own apartment. He was standing directly in front of his door, keys in one hand, about to open it when he hears an unexpected noise.

He stiffens at the sound, dropping his keys in the process. The loud buzzing noise echoed in his ears. But the weird thing, is that the source of the sound seems to be coming from the apartment left of his.

His apartment.

Cautiously, he tiptoed his way towards the door and pressed his ear against it. The sound was definitely coming from within.

Matt backed away, fearing a burglar might've broke in. Or maybe a deranged homeless person, making use of his friend's stuff. He retreated into his own apartment, dropping the groceries on the counter before grabbing a bust of his own face as a weapon, in case whoever was inside attacked him.

Shakily, he approached the door. The buzzing on the other side still loud and going. With a startling realization, Matt noticed that the spare key was still lodged in the lock. Somehow, whoever was inside found out about the key's location beneath the fire extinguisher.

Trembling from head to toe in apprehension, Matt turned the door knob. He paused, gulping and dreading what he may find waiting for him. He braced himself. Swinging the door open, it slammed against the wall. Matt let out a terrified shriek as he held the bust in front of him like a shield, waiting for the worst to happen.

"Hey Matt!"

At the sound of his name, he stiffened and did a double take at the sight before him. "E-Edd?" He was not imagining things. His friend is really standing right in front of him; currently vacuuming the floor. That would explain the loud noise he heard. "Is it really you?"

Edd chuckled, seemingly amused by his shocked reaction. "Of course, silly!"

Matt breathed out a sigh of relief, his shoulders sagged as he relaxed. Now the spare key in the door made sense, and he felt the sudden urge to laugh at his overreaction. "Oof, thank goodness!" He put the bust down, no longer having need for it. "You scared me for a moment there." He laughed half-heartedly, before it trailed off into an awkward cough as the reality of the situation suddenly hit him. This is the first time they've seen each other since that fateful day. Recalling his friend's reaction and all the countless days he had spent calling out to him at his door, worry instantly gripped him. "So… H-how- how are holding up?" He asks hesitantly, afraid of setting the green hooded man off by saying the wrong thing.

"Oh, I'm fine actually." Edd responded. His voice held the same cheerfulness Matt was so used to hearing. In fact, nothing about him now would ever indicate the sadness that he once felt when they learned about their companion's whereabouts. "I went to fetch you for breakfast early this morning, but you had already left." He went on, still vacuuming the floor. "I made pancakes! They are on the counter if you want."

Glancing in the direction of the kitchen, Matt spotted a stack of freshly made pancakes; steaming with butter and syrup as the contents melted down over the sides. His mouth couldn't help but water at the sight. Edd's pancakes were always the best. His stomach voiced its opinion rather loudly, and Matt recalled that he hadn't eaten anything before going out. And so, he was more than happy to take the offer. "Thanks!"

He moved to sit on one of the stools by the counter, taking a fork and knife out the drawer, Matt began to scarf down the pancake hungrily. In the process, he couldn't help the hum of delight escape him. It's been so long since he'd last eaten one of Edd's infamous pancakes! He usually saves making them only for weekends or special occasions.

"Where did you go anyway?" Edd's question brought him out of his meal, and he glanced up at him.

Matt swallowed before answering. "Oh, I was just out in the market buying groceries. Nothing much." He answered, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

In that exact moment, Matt's eyes shifted and fell on the other end of the kitchen counter. His face contorted into a puzzled expression. Another stack of pancakes laid before him, neat and untouched. Syrup and melted butter coated its sides, but this stack was implemented with a fancy swirl of whipped cream at the top, and various blueberries were scattered around the plate. Matt tilted his head. Is it Edd's? Guilt instantly overcame him. Edd went out of his way to make breakfast for the both of them, even waits for him to come back for them to eat together; and yet he goes and eats his own stack without a second thought. Matt chuckled dryly. He did always say I'm absent-minded. He mused with a pang of sadness.

"Well that's great! After you finish eating you can help me clean up this place. It's a mess!" Edd's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Sure! No problem!" Matt responded through another forkful of pancakes. "But why exactly are you cleaning T- I mean! Cleaning the apartment for?" He couldn't help but ask. It was weird enough seeing him look so cheerful, much less finding him here in all places. Although he does not condemn Edd for being happy per say; but something just doesn't feel quite right here.

Edd's answer was enough explanation.

"For when Tom comes back, silly!"

Matt instantly chocked on the pancake he was so fondly eating before. Fist beating against his own chest to clear up his throat. He coughed, gasping for breath as he stared at Edd; disbelief was shown on his face.

"I mean, just look at this dump! It was a lot worse before I got here, I tell you that." Edd continued. Matt's shocked reaction went completely unnoticed by him. "But Tom can come back any moment, and I want to surprise him. Just imagine how glad he is going to be when he finds his apartment clean again!"

Now things were starting to make a little too much sense, and Matt wasn't sure he was ready to handle this. Suddenly the pancakes have lost their appeal, and they look a lot less appetizing than they were. The chunk that was still in his mouth felt dry, and tasteless; he swallowed the lump in his throat with great difficulty. His stomach churned with discomfort. His eyes accidentally wandered to the opposite end of the counter, to where the other stack stood.

Those pancakes weren't meant for Edd. But for him.

Matt felt his legs start to quiver. "E-E- Edd?"

"Oh! And I went ahead and bought a few bottles of Smirnoff for him. The original ones this time!" He kept on going. "Placed them in the fridge already, and threw away all the diet ones. That really was a stupid move on my part! I just hope he can forgive me…"

Matt pushed away from the counter, and stood up from his stool in shaky legs. He stared at Edd; weary, anxious, scared, but most of all, worried. He had no clue what to do in this situation. Edd is obviously in denial about the whole situation. Should Matt remind him of the truth, and risk upsetting him? Or should he just go along to spare his feelings? He cares so much about him, and his wellbeing; he really wished he could keep the pain away. But deep down, Matt knows that being delusional about the truth won't do Edd any good either.

Concerned, and yet determined, Matt stepped closer to his friend.

"I'm nearly done with the living room. The kitchen is mostly cleaned, except for the dishes, but we can do that later! Then it's Tom's room next." Edd was still ranting. His voice joyful, with a closed eyed smile on his face. "When we're done I thought we could, maybe, play some video games or something to pass the time until he comes back. I don't wanna leave in case Tom returns and we're not here to greet him!"

Matt approached him with apprehension. He raised one of his hands and shakily placed it over his friend's shoulder. He felt Edd stiffen at the contact. He did not turn around, nor did he stop vacuuming the room. Matt sighed. "E-Edd, you know as well as I do that…" He paused, trying to find the best way to break it to him without further harm. "That he- he isn't coming back."

The vacuum cleaner turned off.

Matt took a step back, withdrawing his hand away. He stared at Edd anxiously, waiting for the outburst to happen. Instead, the man in the green hoodie glanced back at him over his shoulder; still smiling. "Don't be silly, Matt. Of course Tom's coming back!" He told him, voice filled with optimism. Though Matt could tell it was rather forced. "Sure, he was upset with us when we last saw him… But he just needs some time to cool off, and before you know it, Tom's gonna be back like nothing ever happened!" He beamed. "Just like you said!"

Matt stared at him in dismay, sadness brimming in his blue eyes the more he observed his appearance. Judging by the dark bags beneath his eyes, he could tell Edd hasn't been getting a wink of sleep as of late. "Edd…" He tried to reach out once again, only for him to take a few steps back; his smile faltering ever so slightly.

"Just you wait and see! Tom's coming back, and everything will be alright again." Edd kept insisting, his voice wavering for a tiny fraction as he turned away from his ginger companion. "And then we can watch Return of the insane zombie pirates from hell 6: The final revenge of the curse! And who knows, after that we may go on more adventures just like… We once used to." The volume of his voice got increasingly lower as he went on, turning into a mere hushed whisper by the end.

"E-Edd, you're scaring me…" Matt shrunk back, genuinely unsettled by his friend's behaviour. "Please, snap out of it."

The man in the green hoodie looked back up at him, with a large smile plastered on his face. But what really got Matt's attention, aside from the creepy smile, was the fact that there are tears spilling from Edd's eyes. He was trying, and failing miserably to keep up the illusion despite Matt's protests. "What do you m-mean, Matt?" He asks softly, shaking his head. "Snap out of… What? Exactly?"

Matt gulped. A freezing chill spread around his insides with a sense of dread. He could feel his own eyes start to water the more he stared at his friend. This situation was rapidly running out of control, and Matt was in the verge or bursting into tears himself. He was only able to get a hold of himself just for Edd's sake. He is in more distress than himself, and he needs to be strong enough to console him.

He lurched forward suddenly, throwing his arms out and around Edd; enveloping him in a tight hug. Matt felt him stiffen in his hold, but he did not step away. "Edd, please, I know this is hard to accept… But you're gonna have to, sooner or later!" He sniffled, trying his damn hardest to keep himself from trembling. He held in the tears that were threatening to spill over, and he tightened the hug; at this point, he is unsure whether or not he is actually doing this for his own comfort or for Edd's. He buried his face in his friend's shoulder, afraid of uttering his next words loud and clear. "He is never coming back."

Edd clenched his fists.

"What do you know?"

Matt looked up, confusion replacing sadness. He glanced at Edd, and was shocked to find him glaring at him through glistening green eyes. "Edd?"

"You know, Matt, I never took you for being sceptical type. If you even know what that word means." He told him coldly.

The man in the purple hoodie flinched, and reared back; completely baffled by Edd's sudden change in attitude, and spontaneous rude demeanour. "I'm just- I'm only trying to help you!"

Edd shoved him away, breaking the hug. "I don't need your help!" He states confidently. "I know that I am right! Tom is going to come back."

"Please listen to me!" Matt begged, hardly containing his emotions at bay. "No matter how much you wish otherwise, he isn't coming back."

"Yes, he is!" Edd insisted.

"Tom's dead!"

Edd flinched for a millisecond, before glowering at him. "You know what? Since you're so discontent with the way things are, why don't you just leave?" He snapped. "The door is right behind you, and I can clean this whole place on my own. But when Tom comes back, don't come crying back to me hoping he'll forgive you!"

His words genuinely hurt Matt, and he felt painful tug in his chest. "Edd please!"

"Get out, Matt." He demanded as he turned away from him, crossing his arms. "You already caused enough damage."

The ginger haired man stared at him in dismay. He was torn between insisting or heeding his words. But considering how upset Edd is, he opted for the latter. Defeated, Matt began to head out. When he reached the door, he shot one last glance at his friend over his shoulder, sad to find him still with his back turned to him. He sighed and left the apartment, silently closing the door behind him and leaving Edd to his own devices.

The man in the green hoodie breathed out a sigh of relief, attempting to calm down his troubling thoughts and rebellious emotions. With Matt gone, he can now go back to his task of making Tom's home presentable for his return. It's the least he can do for his eyeless friend, after what he put him through.

Once he made sure everything was set and done in the living room, he pulled the vacuum's plug off the socket, and moved to his next destination. Tom's room. Walking along the corridor, Edd fumed quietly. "Stupid Matt. What does he know about Tom? Can't even get his fricking name right at the best of times! Why should I listen to him? I know I'm right! Tom is fine, and he will come back! Why is that so hard to believe?" He ranted, grumbling under his breath even though no one is around to hear him. His heart clenched whenever he remembered his eyeless friend. Although it hurts, to Edd; it was best to keep on remembering than to forget him entirely and pretend he never even existed. He should know… Edd regrets what he did, but the memory was simply just too painful to keep. But he won't make the same mistake twice. He owes Tom that much.

Finally, he reached the end of the corridor where he stood before a lone, blue door. Swiping his troubles and thoughts aside, Edd grabbed the door handle. Hopefully his mind will be too distracted with his current task to think of anymore problems. But as he twisted the knob, and opened the door with a resonating creak, he found himself growing anxious at the sight he was met with.

The room is a mess. Absolute shambles!

Dirty clothes were scattered all over the floor. Many bottles of Smirnoff were littered around the room, some of them are even shattered. The mattress had large gashes running along its surface, the stuffing and springs from within are poking out in tufts. The bed sheets were piled in the far corner of the room in a messy bundle; as if they were tossed away in a careless fashion. The pillows were shredded, barely even scraps, with clumps of feathers lying around all over the place. One of the wardrobe's doors was barely hanging on its hinges, while the other door had a chunk of it missing. Some of the drawers were missing from their cabinets; and although the window blinds were close, a little bit of light from outside shined through the broken gaps. The only thing that's remotely in good condition at all is Susan, leaning against the wall in the corner; but only because the base had already been through so much and looks better in comparison to everything else.

Edd stood by the door, completely frozen, as he took in the scene before him with wide eyes. The fact that Tom had forbidden them from ever coming anywhere near his room was starting to make sense to him now; and he wasn't sure that was a good thing. Not taking his eyes off the scene, Edd subconsciously began to feel the walls for the light switch. The room is absurdly dark. His fingers flipped the switch on, but nothing happened. He repeated the motion a couple of times before adverting his gaze away from the room to glance upwards. The lights are busted.

Edd gulped. Making sure to keep the door open with the light from the corridor shining behind him, Edd took slow, and weary steps into the ominous room. The atmosphere he found hanging around in the air felt suffocating and full of dread. It made him nauseous.

A resonating crunch sounded when he took another step. Glancing down at his feet, Edd found various shards of glass scattered on the floor; presumably more broken bottles. Upon closer inspection, Edd took notice of long scratch marks decorating the walls and floor. Odd. Considering Tom never had any pets, nor did he like Ringo enough to let the cat freely wander around his apartment.

Looking around the creepy room, Edd didn't even know where to begin. The vacuum cleaner laid uselessly next to him. It will take a lot more than that just to fix this mess. Maybe the bathroom is in better condition. He decided, heading for the door positioned to his left.

Oh, how dead wrong he is.

He attempted to open the door, but it wouldn't budge beyond a small gap. Edd then tried to forcefully push the door open, but to no avail. Getting frustrated, he started to slam his own body against the door to slam it open. After a couple of attempts, he managed to burst through only for his breath to hitch in his throat, as he gasps at the sight.

Blood.

Blood was everywhere.

The dried crimson liquid was coating the white surfaces of the bathroom tiles, the sink, towels, shower, the curtains; pretty much everything. Edd glanced around wearily, taking a shaky step into the bloody bathroom. He felt as if he just stumbled upon a crime scene from a horror movie or something, and at this point he was half-expecting the killer to pop out and pounce on him at any given moment.

More crunching noises sounded from beneath his footsteps. Edd raised one foot, to see shards of glass scattered on the rug and floor; blood coating their edges. His gaze drifted upwards to look at the sink, and was surprised to see his distorted reflection gazing back at him from the confines of a shattered mirror. Its glass fragments were scattered over the sink in a bloody pile, along with dull, and rusted razors.

Edd carefully picked one of the razors, and lifted to his eyelevel for a closer inspection. The blades are tainted with dried specks of blood, and the edges are crusting brown with rust.

He gulped, a shiver running down his spine as he backed away from the scene. Surely there is a reasonable explanation for all of this? Maybe Tom was trying to shave one day and accidentally hurt himself… and broke the mirror… which hurt him more… which then resulted in the bloodied state of the bathroom. That's reasonable, right?

Edd tried to come up with various possible scenarios that could explain his findings, as well as sooth his ever-increasing worries for his missing friend. This shouldn't be hard! After all, it's not like Tom is secretly a murderer, or that anything serious is going on with him, right?

Little did Edd know, he isn't that far off from the truth…

(Meanwhile...)

Gripping the sides of the porcelain seat tightly in his hands, Tom hunched over and hurled out whatever contents still resided in his pitiful stomach. The taste of bile was familiar to him by now, and his throat ached with how often this seem to happen. A comforting hand gently patted his back. "There, there… Just let it all out, buddy." Paul tried to soothe him, looking awfully uncomfortable with the situation and not really sure how to handle this.

To say his situation is lame would be putting it lightly.

It hasn't been that long since Tord left the facility, a week and a half at most, and the Red leader had been correct in his assumption about Tom's condition. The eyeless subject was undergoing through a severe alcohol withdraw. He could barely muster up the strength within himself to do anything. Ever since it started, Tom hadn't left the confines of his quarters. Not because he wasn't allowed, but simply because of his constant lack of energy, and weakness in his limbs. Tom once tried to take a walk around the halls, taking advantage of the Norsk's absence in the base, only for him to end up on the tiled floor; curled up into a ball, on his side, in the corner of a corridor with his own arms wrapped around his abdomen, moaning with pain.

Pat had found him and helped him back to his quarters, deeming him too unfit to leave unsupervised. It was degrading to say the least.

Feeling his stomach subside, Tom slumped back; panting for breath. "Feeling better now?" Paul asked, earning a silent nod from his head. Effortlessly picking Tom up, Paul carried him back to his bed. The Brit did not voice any complaint, nor did he make any sort of fuss. He is far too tired to fight against the humiliation of being carried around like a baby. Good thing Tord isn't here to tease him, at least. The Norwegian man would never let him live this down.

Being placed down upon his bed, Tom turned to lay on his side and curled up; hugging his knees to his chest.

"Do you need anything else?" Paul offered, staring at him with concern. Unable to speak, Tom simply shook his head in response. "Pat will check on you soon, alright? You should try and get some rest till then."

Easier said than done. Tom rebuked silently, a spasm rippled through his body and he clenched himself tighter. If he had trouble sleeping before, the withdrawal was a constant hammering against his skull that won't ever let him rest. He watched the Red army Commander leave, the door sliding close behind him, and Tom was once again left alone.

Miserably he nuzzled against his pillow, in a weak attempt of gaining some sort of comfort. His ragged, heavy breathing echoed in the room; the air felt smothering hot and Tom was sweating profusely. His mind is fuzzy, and unable to focus. Tossing and turning in his bed, he tried desperately to close his eyes, rest, and escape the surging pain that wracked his body with so much intensity. But every time he did, Tom would be haunted by the horrific nightmares that continuously plagued his mind. Bodies being torn apart in savage, and horrendous ways by his own hands. It was a hard dilemma. Either he remains awake through the withdrawal, doing absolutely nothing but lay down in pain, vomit, and wait for time slowly pass by. Or he goes to sleep and re-visit his worst fears. What do?

Usually he wouldn't mind going through pain. It keeps his mind busy; focusing on something else other than the primitive urge that fluctuates within him at random intervals. It may not be ideal, but it does its job, and Tom learned to put up with it, and maybe even enjoy sometimes. It's a reliving sensation. But this pain is nothing like a stab or a cut. It was agonizing. Now, whether he prefers withdrawal over shifting it's a different story. It's been a long time since the last time he–

Another spasm travelled through his body. Tom groaned, and curled up tighter on himself. His situation is hopeless by every definition of the word. He continued to pant heavily for breath. His chest rising and falling excessively with his respiration. Through his half-closed eyes, Tom's blurry vision could make out the small, flat circular disc on his bedside table.

The device Tord had given him.

He never used it; highly distrusting the Norwegian man and his intentions. Tom placed it away from himself, swearing through stubbornness that he'll never use it out of spite. But the withdrawal was getting to him. Tom reached his arm out, gingerly grabbing the device and bringing it over to him. "This, is a special device that I personally invented to help users gain a peaceful sleep, undisturbed by nightmares." Tord's words echoed as Tom looked over the tiny object in his fingers. "I created it for my own needs, but I figure you need it more than I do."

In his agony, Tom shrugged and decided to give in. What's the worst that could happen to him at this point? Nothing would ever compare to his nightmares, and not many things faze him anymore. His only concern, was the fact that Tord stated he had created the device for himself. Tom shudders. I swear, if I put this on and dream about some sh#tty hentai, I'm gonna kill that commie f#ck next time I see him!

Not having many options left, Tom placed the device into his ear; doing exactly as Tord had instructed. Feeling the tiny switch on its surface, he flipped it. He tried his best to accommodate himself on the bed, but the constant pain surging through his body was a bothersome problem. Getting comfortable, Tom did not bother in going under the covers; he feels warm enough already. Closing his eyes, Tom buried his face into the pillows, and waited for his fatigue to do its work and put him to sleep.

Being so used to this scenario, Tom was half-expecting the bloody imageries of his recurring nightmares to pop up and make him jolt awake.

Instead, he was met with a rather startling sight.

But in a good way.

A tiny speck of light glimmered in the distance, growing brighter and brighter until it enveloped him completely. Tom was sure if he had any eyes, they would be burning up right now at the light's intensity. The harsh glare of whiteness that blinded him progressively faded away, revealing a clear blue sky above him. Tom blinked in confusion. This isn't his quarters. But then again, this isn't some dark alley for him to shred people in, so there's that. He suddenly found himself laying on solid ground, and something tickled the back of his neck and hands.

Sitting up slowly, Tom was greeted with a huge, lush green meadow; stretching far over the horizon. Flowers of all kinds bloomed all over the place. A passing breeze flowed by, rustling the grass blades as it came and went. A large lake loomed ahead, the crystal-clear water glistened with sparks of sunlight on its still surface, and a large willow tree stood at the edge.

Tom stared dumbfounded at the beautiful landscape he found himself in. He was laying on top of a blooming hill, overlooking the scenery. The cool breeze brushed against him, ruffling his hair just slightly while also refreshing his warm skin. He clenched his hands over a patch of grass, feeling the blades and dirt in his fingers. This feels so real!

Tom stood up in shaky legs, looking down at the hill as the sun shined above him. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes as he felt the wind blow on his face, and stretched his arms out before plummeting forward. Tom rolled down the grassy hill, the flowers softening his fall as he continued rolling until he no longer could, and came to a stop at the very bottom, where he laid on his back; panting for breath as he stretched his arms out to feel the grass and flowers around him. The sensation was so realistic, Tom could've fooled himself into thinking this as reality and not a dream.

He laid there on the meadow for what seemed like ages, appreciating the scent of flowers, quiet setting, and cool breeze. Butterflies would occasionally flutter by his eyes, going from one bloom to another as they gathered around, some even landing on him. Tom continued to stare at the sky, taking deep breaths as he took in the smell of fresh air he hadn't felt in days. He spotted a couple of doves perched on the branches of the willow tree not too far away from him, before unfolding their wings and taking flight. A sense of tranquillity washed over him. Tom folded his arms beneath his head. Real or not, there was no doubt that he was at ease here. No voices tormenting him. No psychotic commie to piss him off. No people to maim. No monster. No problems. Tom could finally rest in peace here. Tom smiled, sighing contently as he slowly closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, he was disappointed to find himself staring up at the bland white ceiling of his quarters. Tom groaned in a mixture of annoyance and disappointment. And here he was, thinking he had somehow escaped this dreadful place and found peace. Tom flipped off the switch on the device, and plucked it off his ear. He stared down at the device in silent contemplation.

He was startled out of his thoughts when the door slid open with a resonant hiss, and Patrick strolled in the room.

"I'm sorry! Were you sleeping?" Pat asks worriedly, carrying a tray with him. "Forgive me, I did not mean to startle you."

"It's fine." Tom grumbled irritably.

Patrick stepped closer to him, carefully placing the tray over the bedside table before sitting down at the edge of the bed. Tom watched as he changed his bandages and cleaned his wounds, his fingers still fumbling with the tiny device in his hand.

When Patrick was finished with his bandages, he moved to the other side to change his IV bag. "Can I ask you something?" Tom spoke up, after several long moments of silence.

Patrick stared at him in surprise. "Of course."

"What can you tell me about this?" Tom questions, showing him the device held in his hand.

Pat narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to inspect it. Wordlessly he silently asked the Brit if he could take the device from his hands for just a mere moment. Tom nodded, dropping the tiny disc in the Polish soldier's hands.

"Ah, I see… This is creation #276, The Dreamcatcher. One of Red leader's most prized and cherished creations." Patrick evaluated the object. "Where did you acquire this?" He asks, shooting him a look of suspicion.

Tom glared at him, crossing his arms. He was not in the mood to be challenged. "I did not steal it, if that's what you are asking. Tord gave it to me before he left." He argued defensively. "But what does it do?"

"Did he not tell you?" Pat inquired curiously.

"All he said was that it is meant to help users get a peaceful rest without any nightmares." Tom told him. "But I want to know exactly how it does it."

Patrick hummed deep in thought, scratching his chin. "Well, basically as the name already insinuates, the device fends off nightmares by replacing it with good dreams." He explained. "But it doesn't replace it with any sort of good dreams. The device has a tiny holographic laser that goes into your brain, diving in to your deepest desires and bringing forth to your subconscious."

Tom blinked at him deadpanned. "Speak English!"

"Your nightmares are replaced by your dreams, and your dreams are your greatest desires." Patrick told him bluntly, handing him back the device. "Whenever you use the Dreamcatcher, you will dream of whatever you want the most."

Tom stared back at him numbly, watching as the Red Army General replaced his IV bag, and handed him a plastic cup with the special drink Tom grew so fond of. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" He asked the Brit.

Tom took a sip of his drink, relishing in the sweet taste. "No thanks." He grumbled.

"Alright, you should rest up a bit more." Patrick advised him. "I'll tell Paul to check on you later than usual, so as to not disturb your sleep. Okay?"

Tom nodded, waiting for him to leave the room already. When the door hissed shut, Tom fell back on his bed, staring at the ceiling deep in thought. So the device shows him his greatest desire whenever he dreams? Tom knows exactly what he desires most in this world, and even if it's not for real, he will take it over his nightmares any day, easy.

After hurriedly finishing his drink. He placed the empty cup aside and quickly placed the device back into his ear. Tom turned on the switch and closed his eyes, anticipating sleep. Funny. Mere hours ago, Tom was absolutely against the idea of sleeping, to avoid catching glimpses of his terrible actions. Now he wants it more than anything. Beats laying down all day staring at the wall at least. Tord gave him the device, and Tom will sure as hell make some good use out of it.

He drifted off into sleep once more, and he found himself back in the beautiful meadow; watching as the sun began to set down over the horizon, and lighting the entire sky in orange and golden hues.

[evakfanficsrecs]

I really love AU fics, so I want to know what are your favourites (chaptered). But like really AU changing a lot the story (like That's Not My Name, You Don't Even Know Me, Half Blade and Half Silk... you know what I mean?) And I'm sending you love and luck

Thanks love :’) I’m sending both right back! ♥

Listen, you are lucky you only asked for chaptered fics, because otherwise this would be like 10 times longer (not that it’s not long as it is lmao). Have fun!

P.S. Those 3 you named are some of my favorites too, but I feel like I still need to list them anyway, I’m sure someone else will appreciate it ;)

*

Half Blade and Half Silk by smokeshop ✓ Summary: uni!au; Isak’s friends introduce him to an art student at a college party. He won’t stop calling Isak baby and Isak’s bad at pretending to hate it. College AU where Isak’s past is a little more colorful but Even still won’t leave him alone.

the city of illusions, the city of yearning by elisewinSummary: The whole point of going on a student exchange program is to meet people from different countries, learn about different cultures and so on. Isak, of course, falls in love with another Norwegian while in Rome. 

torches (life’s too short) by xxLeviBech Summary: “My mom used to tell me my thoughts would pour out of my ears if I kept thinking too hard.” Isak threw back another fry, keeping his gaze down. “That’s pretty fucked up, man.” Even deadpanned, making Isak snap his head up in a laugh .“Fuck you,” He giggled, tossing one of the soggier ones at Even and being decidedly unimpressed when he caught it in his mouth. Or, a canon divergence AU in which Isak’s childhood is exponentially more severe – where he can’t remember coming to school without bruises, a bottle of hand-sanitizer, and long sleeves. It’s fine, he’s fine. It wasn’t for his friends, though; and that’s how he wound up here, in a fold-up chair every Tuesday and Friday, talking about his experiences with other post-secondary kids diagnosed with some kind of PTSD. It’s also where meets a guy whose name starts with the same letters as everything, because that’s… exactly what he is.

with love, from anonymous by cosetties & iriswests✓ Summary: secret admirer!au; Isak just wants to get his coffee in peace, Even has a crush, and there’s a secret admirer on the loose.

in better light, everything changes by TimeInABottle ✓ Summary: wrong number!au; “I just checked the revue website and blackmailing people for smoking weed wasn’t listed under the Kosegruppa description"… Isak accidentally texts a stranger (Even) while trying to text Sana.

i guess that’s destiny doing it right by allyasavedtheday ✓ Summary: The alternate universe where Even originally went to Nissen and became friends with Isak and Jonas when they started first year but moved away after his episode at the start of second year only for Isak to never hear from him again. Fastforward to the summer before Isak starts college when he’s travelling around Spain and bumps into a certain someone in Barcelona.

I’m Not A Baby by cuteandtwisted ✓  Summary: childhood friends!au; “This is Even, my bro. The part about him being my personal servant is kind of true though.” “Your bro? Your bro?! What the fuck, Isak? We need to get rid of this whole masculinity thing they teach you at Nissen.” aka, Isak and Even are childhood friends.

love and condoms by kassie ✓  Summary: Isak was about turn on his heels and say “Fuck it” and go home, when a tall, slender-looking boy approached him from down the aisle. Shit. “Finding everything okay?” he asked once he reached Isak, his face entirely consumed by his smile. Judging from his choice of clothing, the boy definitely worked here. And, by the black letters scribbled on his name tag, the boy’s name was Even. Great.. Or: Isak owes Eskild a favor and Eskild sends him out to buy condoms where he runs into a tall boy who is a little too eager to help him.

super rich kids by koolranchkidz Summary: The van was parked on the side of the empty city street, next to an apartment building. The sun had begun to peek out from behind the horizon and the streetlight had been turned off for the past ten minutes. Even heard Jonas grunt, “Fucking finally! Jesus-” from the front seat. He turned to face the other car window and froze in his spot at the sight. He saw a boy coming down the apartment stairwell lugging an over-packed, black suitcase lazily behind him with one hand. In his other hand, the boy was holding a cup of KB coffee with drips of brown down the sides. He couldn’t make out the boy’s face from that far away, but going by his body language, Even could tell he was exhausted. Or: In which Jonas is rich as fuck and takes The Boysquad™ to the Bahamas after graduation, and many, many things happen.

I feel it when you look at me by photographer_of_thoughts✓Summary: blind!Even; “Did you hear about the new guy?“ Jonas asked, motioning over to the other side of the cafeteria. Isak looked up and became rather breathless at the sight of the tall, blonde, and totally gorgeous boy wearing sunglasses. Wait. Sunglasses? Inside? “Must suck to be the new transfer and blind. I hope someone is helping him find all his classes.” Or, Isak and Even learn to see each other.

making new clichés by strangetowns Summary: childhood friends!au; They are young teenage boys who don’t have jobs, and thus don’t have money except for when they beg their parents for allowances. The stunning lack of creativity that goes into their activities just goes without saying. What doesn’t go without saying is this - Even doesn’t care that they don’t do anything exciting. They could be lying on their backs for hours watching the ceiling and he’d still rather be there than anywhere else in the world. As long as Isak is there, he will have a good time. This is a thing he knows to be true. - In this universe, Isak and Even are best friends. Some things are different; some things stay exactly the same.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife ✓ Summary: fake dating!au; Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex’s wedding.

WAKE UP! by cuteandtwisted ✓ Summary: Even can’t stop having dreams about this strange boy. He’s never seen him before. But why does it feel like he’s the only person that ever mattered? Or: Even has no idea who Isak is but he still loves him aka EvenDreams!AU

don’t you keep it all to yourself by colazitron ✓ Summary: coffee shop!au; Isak starts buying daily coffees before school at Kaffebrenneriet around the corner because it tastes better than the coffee in the cafeteria and keeps his hands warm. But mostly because the barista is heart-stoppingly cute. Or: An AU in which Even didn’t need to repeat his last year and instead started working at the coffeeshop Isak passes on his way to school every morning.

i hate your face, it makes my heart skip a beat by Bellakitse Summary: HateToLove!au & tutoring!au; Isak is failing History and his friends have the great idea that their new friend Even should tutor him. It’s perfect except Isak doesn’t like Even or the way his stupid face makes his stomach flip.

Those, who could not hear the music. by UniversalParadox_13Summary: In this story, Isak and Even are ballet students and collide while preparing for a play they’ll be performing in. It’s odd and exhilarating, and does not make sense to their yearning bodies and vulnerable hearts, until it does. But Even is in a steady relationship and Isak has no place for love his life, so there is that.

The Comments Below by DickAnderton ✓ Summary: youtubers!au; Isak is a notoriously lazy gamer living with lgbt icon Eskild. When they invite youtube sensation Even Bech Naesheim over for a collaboration, #Evak is born. But it is not only their viewers who are falling in love.

That’s Not My Name by cuteandtwisted ✓ Summary: one-night stand!au; “Isak.” Even smiled, then licked his lips. “Wanna go back to my place?” - aka: Isak is an exchange student in new york city where he meets a very forward and bewitching Even.

I’m Not in Love by cuteandtwisted ✓ Summary: uni!au; Isak was not in love. Nope. Not even close. Or: Even never transferred to Nissen in his third year, so they meet in college instead. Uni AU in which Isak doesn’t believe in love but Even Bech Næsheim won’t stop kissing him. 

Home Is Wherever I’m With You by cuteandtwisted  Summary: travel!au; “Hi. I’m Even and I don’t usually walk around in nothing but a towel.” “Uh, I’m Isak.” “Isak. Mind if I kidnap you for some fun sightseeing activities?” Or Isak and Even keep meeting in hostels all around the world and never exchanging contact information.

The Notion of Falling by smokeshop✓ Summary: HateToLove!au; Isak hates Even and Even hates Isak and Sana is the only one who knows why.

Things Look Different in the Morning by allyasavedtheday✓  Summary: roomates!au & uni!au; “So,” he says, drawing the word out. “I told Even he could stay here.”Isak blinks, convinced he’s misheard. “Eskild,” he says flatly. “We don’t have a spare room.” Eskild straightens his back, expression turning sheepish. “That’s the other part…I was thinking he could stay in your room?” * In which Even needs a place to stay, kollektivet gains a new roommate, and Isak just really wants to sleep.

Membership Dues by Sabeley ✓Summary: fraternity!au; Isak is pledging Even’s fraternity. Even keeps having to be reminded that he’s not allowed to date the pledges. “It’s a ten-week pledge period. How hard could it be?” Famous last words.

Doctor Patient Confidentiality by skambition✓ Summary: “Male, maybe late 20s, didn’t carry an ID. Was hit by a car. Broken ribs, lots of internal bleeding, his left hand needs some work, a lot of crushed bones. Punctured lung. His heart frequency shows irregularities, but we’re not sure why. Unconscious. The driver called, he’s in surgery, too.” “Okay, thanks”, Isak said, got his rubber gloves and went into the OR. He was good at fixing people. And he knew it.

take me to the stars by iriswests  Summary: HateToLove!au & friends with benefits!au; Isak thinks Even is pretentious and impractical. Even thinks Isak is arrogant and uptight. They’re not each other’s biggest fans, even if they do happen to have spectacular sex on a very, very drunken night. And Isak doesn’t mean to do it again, but he does, anyway, so now they’re establishing ground rules and deciding that maybe they can keep doing this, no strings attached, no commitments, no feelings, and, most importantly, no need to stop disliking each other.And then it’s not quite that simple anymore.

(✓ - completed fics)

[thisdaynews]

Trump Pokes Fun at Himself. Why Do Only Some People See It?

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/trump-pokes-fun-at-himself-why-do-only-some-people-see-it/

Trump Pokes Fun at Himself. Why Do Only Some People See It?

There’s a common conception, among foes of Donald Trump, that the 45th president tweets every day in a kind of fevered state: alone by his bedroom TV set, wrapped in a smoking jacket or maybe a satin Snuggie, typing in fits of narcissism, defensiveness and self-aggrandizement. And maybe thatishis mood, much of the time. It certainly has been for most of this past week, as the president took to Twitter to attack the “degenerate Washington Post” and the “Impeachment Hoax”—and to drum up votes for “very loyal” Sean Spicer onDancing With The Stars.

But if you’re paying as much attention to all of his tweets,not just his angry, appalling and self-serving ones, you’ll find some striking moments when Trump isn’t just raging outward, but making fun of himself—even showing a wry acceptance of the caricatures favored by the left. He has challenged his followers to find the secret meaning behind his famed “covfefe” accidental tweet. He’s made light of the notion that he would seek a third term, joking about leaving office “in six years, or maybe 10 or 14 (just kidding).” In August, as he was floating the purchase of a certain Danish territory, he tweeted a picture of a gold-plated Trump hotel photoshopped onto a craggy shore, along with the words, “I promise not to do this to Greenland!”He makes cracks about himself in person, too; at a rally in Louisiana this week, he poked fun at the rambling rhetoric that sometimes gets him into trouble: “I do my best work off script … I also do my worst work off script.”

Story Continued Below

These were genuine, self-aware, sometimes even self-deprecating jokes—if you were in the mindset to receive them. Of course, many Trump opponents aren’t. And given his impeachment-triggering behavior and his penchant for crossing the lines of decency, it’s no surprise that many find Trump to be no laughing matter, or have trouble finding lighthearted spots in an ongoing stream of hyperbole and bile. OneNew York Timescolumn called his “A Presidency Without Humor.” Comedy writer Nell Scovell, who has written jokes for David Letterman and Barack Obama, once declared that if Trump does have a sense of humor, it’s confined to the instances when he “clearly chuckles at the misfortune of others.”

But Trump’s winking stance, jarring and inconsonant though it may be with the rest of liberals’ conception of him, is one of the essential, even primal ways the president keeps his base on board, laughing along. For Trump and his defenders, a little gentle self-mocking does more than just warm up a room. It can neutralize his opponents’ attacks. And it can let Trump off the hook even when he probably isn’t joking, as when Marco Rubio argued last month that Trump was only kidding when he declared that China should investigate Hunter Biden.

But it’s most powerful when it makes his supporters feel that they’re in on Trump’s jokes in a way the establishment isn’t. In a sense, this effect is an extension of the 2016 campaign formulation, likely coined by GOP strategist Brad Todd and popularized by Peter Thiel, that Trump’s supporters “take him seriously, but not literally.” Because Trump’s fans take him seriously, they recognize when heisn’tbeing serious, and laugh when his opponents miss the joke. In the same way “Fox and Friends” can make viewers feel as if they’re part of a knowing club, Trump’s jokes give his supporters a way to feel superior to the elites, to mock what they see as a humorless and predictable political establishment. After Trump’s Greenland tweet, one fan on Twitter captured that feeling: “I can picture President Trump sitting in the OVAL, after a productive day, chuckling as he tweets to trigger the left. BEST POTUS EVER!”

This split-screen reaction to Trump’s jokes—fans seeing a twinkle in his eye, opponents seeing creeping authoritarianism—happens offline, too. At a veterans’ event in Louisville last August, Trump joked about wanting to give himself the Medal of Honor: “I wanted one, but they told me I don’t qualify,” he said of his aides. “I said, ‘Can I give it to myself anyway?’ They said, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.” His foes freaked out, and some news outlets covered the crack as if it were a serious statement. But as the Louisville Courier-Journal, the local newspaper, reported from the scene, “Trump was smiling as he said it, and the crowd laughed.”

***

Throughout history,most presidents have displayed moments of wit—it’s part of the charisma required to hold the job—but few have tried as much as Trump to maintain a comic presence. In part, that’s because he holds so many performative, campaign-style rallies, where he revels in the crowd’s reaction. In part, it’s because he communicates so much on Twitter, a platform overloaded with amateur comedians, lobbing their best one-liners into the void.

On Twitter and beyond, Trump is best known for insult comedy, and for his tendency to pick demeaning names for his opponents. (The latest, for obvious reasons, is “Shifty Schiff”—which isn’t as clever as some of his opponents’ nicknames for him, like “Prima Donald” and “Cheetolini.”) Some would say it’s not comedy at all; most would at least agree that’s it’s on the less sophisticated end of the president’s humor attempts.

But even on days when he’s under attack, he often finds ways to slip in notes of self-awareness, sometimes accompanied by a built-in commentary on the political environment. In a recent press conference with the president of FIFA, he joked about wanting to “extend my second term” until the United States hosts the World Cup in 2026, then turned to the press and quipped, “I don’t think any of you would have a problem with that.” On the day of a contentious meeting with congressional Democrats, as the impeachment inquiry accelerated, Trump posted a photo of a frowning Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer and Steny Hoyer, accompanied by one line: “Do you think they like me?”

To be sure, Trump is not the first president to enjoy a little self-parody. But as with all aspects of his messaging, he prefers to do it on his own terms. Obama had an arsenal of dad jokes and good timing at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner; George W. Bush poked fun at his own malapropisms, even calling a White House meeting the “Strategery Meeting” after a “Saturday Night Live” joke. Trump, on the other hand, has griped about SNL impressions and skips the correspondents’ dinner entirely. If anyone pokes fun at Trump, it’s going to be Trump.

Self-mocking humor is riskier and harder to pull off than insult comedy—it requires better timing, more wit and a base of shared information between the teller and the audience. But it has also been a staple of American politics, says Gil Greengross, an evolutionary psychologist at Aberystwyth University in Wales who has studied self-deprecating humor. Greengross’s favorite example comes from Abraham Lincoln, who once, accused of being two-faced, shot back, “I leave it to you: If I had two faces, would I use this one?”

For a politician, self-deprecating humor serves some distinct purposes, says Frank McAndrew, a professor at Knox College in Illinois, who studies the psychology of social situations. Self-mocking is an icebreaker, a way to shrink the distance between a powerful politician and the general public, to give the impression that you’re approachable, despite your exalted address. It’s also a way to offset your foes’ most cutting attacks. McAndrew points to Ronald Reagan’s famous quip, in a 1984 presidential debate against Walter Mondale, in response to a question about his age. Reagan promised to not make a campaign issue out of “my opponent’s youth and inexperience”—a line that at once acknowledged Reagan’s major campaign weakness and neutralized the subject for the night.

With a self-deprecating joke, McAndrew says, “You lead with the thing they were going to trap you with. It takes away their ammunition.” Seen that way, Trump’s joke about the Medal of Honor, told to a room of veterans, was a kind of preemptive strike. A man who had never served in the military was making light of his weakness before an audience of people more deserving—neutralizing a line of critique that someone in the room could have raised.

But the power of self-deprecating humor goes even deeper, Greengross contends: You could actually credit it with helping to perpetuate the species. He points, as explanation, to a peacock. Females are drawn to males with vivid, symmetrical tail feathers, he says, because, on a biological level, a beautiful tail takes a lot of energy to produce. If a peacock with top-notch feathers can be healthy anyway, in spite of trading away some precious physical resources, he’s got to be especially strong; a catch.In the same way, a famous quarterback can afford to mock himself on TV; he has such an abundance of cool that he can afford to give some of it away.

In evolutionary psychology, Greengross says, this idea is known as the “costly signaling theory” or “handicap principle.” If someone with high status is able to thrive in spite of highlighting a weakness, he’s actually displaying strength. According to this principle, a joke from Trump about his political rivals’ hatred of him conveys more than a sense of humor. It also underlines the fact that Trump has become president of the United States while facing down deep hostility—and is now in a strong enough position that he can joke about it.

A decade ago, Greengross conducted a study at the University of New Mexico, where he worked at the time, to test whether self-deprecating humor fit the “costly signaling” framework. Participants listened to audio recordings of people repeating stand-up comedy routines. Some of the joke-tellers were identified as having high status in society; some were described as low-status. Some of the routines were self-deprecating; some were full of put-downs of others. Then, participants were asked to rate the comics on various measures of attractiveness, from intelligence and presumed physical allure to potential as a sexual partner. The study’s subjects consistently ranked the people who used self-deprecating humor as more attractive—but only if they were also described as having high status. If a teller was seen as weak, the act of putting himself down just reminded the audience of his weaknesses.

This is what happens to Trump, it’s clear, when he drops his self-aware jokes on an unwilling audience. In September, for instance, Trump tweeted what seemed like a winking reference to his much-maligned description of himself as a “very stable genius”—followed by a cryptic “Thank you!” It was clear, from the volume of “Mr. Ed” and “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” memes in the responses, that while some people were laughing with him, a lot were laughingathim.

Evolution might also give a reason, beyond some kind of innate humorlessness or “Trump derangement syndrome,” that Trump’s opponents aren’t inclined to laugh him off. Yes, liberals see Trump as dangerous, which makes them more likely to take his jokes about thwarting democracy at face value. But they also see him as low-status—undeserving of the presidency— so his jokes about himself only confirm their low opinion. He thinks of himself as a peacock; they think of him as a turkey.

In front of a friendly crowd, though, Trump is free to unleash his self-mocking self, knowing he’ll get the reaction he wants—provided the subject is right. It’s notable, after all, that Trump’s moments of self-aware humor tend to stem from subjects where he feels on top: his ability to plop a Trump hotel in any location; his ability to win an improbable election; his ability to grab attention with a single, well-placed tweet. These are areas where he can afford to take himself down a notch, and revel in the roars of his supporters.

So far, he hasn’t made many cracks about impeachment.

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