#accidental aphrodisiac nonsense

[distracteddream]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you for the tag, @andthekitchensinkao3! How about a bit of the Accidental Aphrodisiac Nonsense? (Behind the cut for Mature in this snippet.)

“Tell me no,” Loki growled as he crowded against Mobius. “Deny me and I’ll get you back safely to the TVA.”

Mobius licked at his lip, watching Loki’s eyes track the movement. “And if I don’t?” Mobius dragged his hands down to Loki’s hips, holding him in place as he flexed his thigh against Loki’s erection. If his mind hadn’t already been made up, the way Loki shuddered and bucked into him would have done it. “What if I enthusiastically tell you yes instead?”

Loki’s gaze snapped to his. “Say it then.”

Mobius stretched up on his toes, whispering in Loki’s ear as to lover. “Yes, Loki.”

Tagging @mirilyawrites @hauntedcoyote @wolfpup026 @in-my-loki-feels @loki-is-my-kink-awakening @rin-love-is-green - what are y’all working on?

[brairslair]

op monster trio x fem!reader nsfw headcanons

EVERYONE IS 18+ (minors need to scram)

a/n: remember, these are hc’s and just my opinion!

don’t forget to like, reblog, and comment to support my work! mwah <3

“just enjoy this”

luffy:

very talkative and vocal during sex

always just says whats on his mind

“wow, you’re so wet for me already”

“you look so pretty when your face scrunches up like that”

“that feels good. go faster”

not shy at all about moaning and can get really loud sometimes

like there will definitely be noise complaints

kinda a pleasure dom, but can also get really needy sometimes

wants to make sure you feel just as good as he does

“does that feel good?”

“how’s this?”

“you like it when i do that?”

loves bringing food into the bedroom (obviously)

aphrodisiacs? yes

licking whipped cream, hot fudge, caramel, etc, off your body? yuh huh

and his stamina is HIGH

he also gets really excited about trying new things, and will try pretty much anything once if it’s something you’re into

one of his favorites is mirror sex

spreading you out on his fingers or his dick and making sure you watch yourself

he just wants you to see the beautiful view that he gets to see

plus then he gets double of you, and more you is always good

loves when you get vocal, so if you’re on the shyer side he will definitely work overtime so he gets to hear you

will make it a game to see how loud he can get you

he also speaks portuguese bc it makes sense and also i said so !!!!

sometimes his language setting accidentally switches to portuguese when he’s fucked out

“vou meter em você ate você gritar meu nome”

goes crazy when you say his name

even crazier when you get so cockdrunk that you start babbling nonsense

honestly he can’t help but laugh

like full on belly laughing like a maniac while he’s breaking your brain

but he just thinks you’re the cutest and he can’t contain himself

sometimes he’ll have a conversation with you while you’re in that state, acting like he can understand anything you’re saying

“feels good huh?”

you’ll whine out something indecipherable in response

“yeah i know!”

he’s always happy if you tell him what you want and how you’re feeling

because he just loves you so much and he wants you to enjoy it too

because he thinks you deserve the world

can also get pretty dominant/demanding sometimes without even realizing it, just because he’s so blunt

he’s just a man who knows what he wants and goes for it

if he’s especially needy, he gets a little more rough with you

holding your hair as he fucks your mouth, because your eyes look so pretty when you look up at him like that

or fucking you hard and fast to chase his own release, leaving bruises on your hips from how tightly he’s gripping them

even then, he’ll always do frequent check ins to make sure you’re still enjoying it

messy kisser

loves kissing and licking and nibbling all over your body

definitely leaves marks

he’s also not shy about PDA, (mostly because he does not understand the social construct of what is and is not appropriate to do in public), so he loves when he gets to see his love marks on you the next day

thinks u look rly pretty with his love all on you

he’s really good with his mouth

could eat you out for hours, and wont stop until your whole body is shaking

big fan of face sitting

definitely more of a tits guy

always smiling into your kisses, wether he’s sweetly kissing your lips, leaving a trail down your body, or teasing your clit

loves to make you squirm, so edging you is definitely fun for him

he likes seeing you be all needy for him, especially since he’s usually the needier one (can you blame him)

definitely also challenges himself to see how many times he can make you cum in one day, and keeps track of his records

really enjoys using his devil fruit powers on you too, and laughs in excitement when it makes your eyes roll back

always gets you both water and plenty of snacks afterwards, falling into a comfortable conversation or putting on your favorite movie

zoro:

you’re the only person he feels comfortable enough to be this vulnerable with, and he trusts you with his life

you are always his number one priority, no matter what, and that naturally carries over into your sex life

he’s extremely attentive to you, in and out of the bedroom

knows your body better than he knows his own

always knows exactly what you need and just how to make your eyes roll back

he’s a “just relax and let me take care of you” kind of guy, and all he cares about is making you feel good

after all, you always make him feel good, even without doing a single thing

but of course he soaks in anything and everything you graciously give him

he quietly feels undeserving of your love, so he’s really big on being praised

your sweet words only spur him on to make you cum even harder

usually more of a soft dom

but if you ask nicely, sometimes he’ll let you take care of him when you know he needs to just relax

he’s gentle with his strength and careful not to hurt you

likes to fuck you hard but slow, wanting it to last as long as possible

he lives to hear your pretty noises of overstimulation as he makes sure to hit the right spots with every agonizing thrust

your legs held over his shoulders so you can feel every inch of him

doesn’t pick up his pace, even when you’re trembling and trying to move your hips against his

“i’ve got you. just enjoy this”

not super talkative, but definitely gets more vocal the more comfortable he gets being intimate with you

lots of grunts and groans against your neck

sometimes an occasional moan or curse will slip out

when he does talk, it’s soft and low, whispered for only your ears to hear

his voice gets a little deeper when he’s like this, and it grounds you and shakes you to your core somehow at the same time

he loves kissing you, and pouring every feeling he can’t put into words onto your lips

rly likes watching your face to see every pretty little expression you make

likes seeing how good he’s making you feel

also really big on eye contact

wether he’s fingering you, eating you out, fucking you, you’re giving him head, whatever, he wants to look into your eyes and watch them as they get all glassy

“hey, look at me. keep your eyes open”

a little bit into dacryphilia , because it feels so intimate to him

making you feel so overwhelmed with pleasure that it brings you to tears, then kissing all your tears away as you fall apart for him

he’s also really good with his fingers because of how much dexterity he’s built up in his hands from all those years of swordsmanship training

the reason he also has insane stamina ^

if you get bratty with him he’ll get bratty back (he’s a part of the sassy man apocalypse)

sometimes if you’re being particularly bratty, or when he gets cocky after a really good training session, he can get a little more riled up into being more talkative and commanding

but he still never loses that softness, because to him you’re angel on earth, and his love and adoration for you is overflowing

“if you’re that needy, just ask for it. don’t need to make a fuss”

“that’s it, keep going”

“go ahead, you can let go for me”

“tell me what you want me to do and i’ll do it, but you have to use your words”

if he’s feeling really confident, he might pin you against his surface of choice while he ruts into you, licking into your mouth to savor your taste

^ he feels guilty at first for being rough with you, but any fears of him being selfish fly out the window when he hears you moan his name all desperate and hoarse and fucked out

“you like it when im rough like this, huh?”

“what was that, honey? you gotta speak up”

“i know you’ve got one more in you, baby, don’t hold out on me”

no matter what, he always makes sure you cum at least twice before he does

he’s not super into pda, but he secretly loves when you leave marks on him

especially when you scratch up his back or his chest

they feel like battle scars and make him feel all proud and shit

he’ll “discreetly” show them off walking around topless, but he’ll still glare at anyone if they make a comment about it

he also joins the pda train anytime he sees you talking to another man that isn’t a part of the crew

or any time he’s drunk off his ass ^^

thigh/ass guy

he loves feeling your body shutter and twitch from his touch

he doesn’t smile too often, but you sometimes get lucky enough to see it

he’ll hold your jaw up and smile lazily into your sweet kisses while he fucks you deep with his fingers

constantly longs to show his devotion to you, and takes his time to make sure you feel it

lots of sleepy and lazy sex

also shower/bath sex

he lives to hear your sweet sounds

he will not stand for it if you try to hide your pretty little noises from him

“c’mon, don’t do that. let me hear you”

“don’t get all shy on me now”

“there’s my girl”

he’ll always put a pillow under your hips

he likes to wrap his arms around your waist to pull you as close to him as possible

he also just finds it really hot when you arch your back

he’ll fuck you so good that you genuinely cannot stand after he’s finished with you

then he’ll run you both a warm bath, hold you to his chest, and wash off your body and your hair as you both relax into the comfortable silence

sanji:

worships the ground you walk on (seriously considered starting a religion)

loves to be romantic and set the mood

cooking you both a nice intimate dinner, lighting candles, peppering rose petals, giving you massages, etc etc

but once you guys actually start getting intimate, he cannot WAIT to get his hands on you

but he still respects you and treats you like a fucking queen, because to him you are

not an exaggeration by any means either, he will build you a throne

he asks permission before kissing you

won’t touch you unless you give him permissiom

will do or say genuinely anything you ask him to, no questions asked

but will also pathetically rut his hips against your clothed cunt while you make out and cum in his pants if you allow it

he can get rock hard just at the sight of you

not even in a pervy way, it’s just that you’re sooo sexy and everything you do is like his siren song

definitely a sub

loves receiving, and feels blessed with every ounce of pleasure you grant him

but making you feel good gives him just as much pleasure, because he worships you after all

knowing he’s the one making you feel good really gets him going

he’ll worship your body for HOURS with no expectations to receive anything in return

he can get off untouched just by knowing he’s making you feel good

loves eating you out, and is extremely talkative

more than willing to be on his knees for you at any time

loves praising you (of course) and is always eager to encourage you

“you’re the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen”

“you taste so sweet, mon amour”

“want you to cum so badly, sweetheart”

“please let me help you come undone my love”

he loves when you praise him too

however, he also goes crazy when you get a little mean

likes it when you use him for your own pleasure after a restless night or a frustrating mission

or when you edge him for hours as punishment for making a flirtatious comment towards another woman (atp he only does it to get this result)

he is also not beneath begging !

sucker for romance during sex too

loves holding your hand while he makes you see stars or while you let him use your mouth

kissing all over you while you both fall apart

babbling and whining against your lips about how much he loves you

loves when you mark him up, and will proudly show them off

practically gets heart eyes every time he looks at you, but his eyes are BULGING when he sees your perfect tits

loves sucking on them while you ride him

very cheesy and dramatic lines and pet names, but they all come straight from his heart and he means every single word

really likes it when you pull his hair

definitely whimpers and whines and moans your name like a prayer

says “thank you” when you let him cum because he’s so polite

probably has a breeding kink

definitely has low stamina at the beginning of your relationship and doesn’t last very long, but builds it up over time

still makes sure you’re more than fully satisfied even if he’s already finished

would let you tie him up, blindfold him, gag him, whatever you want, and he would enjoy the fuck out of every second

he would still complain and whine about not being able to touch/see/praise you a bit though

super passionate kisser

also always extremely sensitive, because it’s you

lots of cuddles and kisses and sweet words after the two of you are done until you fall asleep with your limbs tangled

asks are open!

[cellphishthekaiju]

Fan-girl Ramblings: My [1st] Custom Tav, Hestra Lumeth

Being so absorbed in BG3 as of late, figured why not write nonsense about my Tav (inspired a bit by a Twitter post about voicing their background) and since I write some 'serious' fan-fic about this woman... why not do a lengthy post explaining her?

*Usual warning of spoilers and a lot of this is made up from my deranged mind.

Hestra's 'natural' name is actually Keryx, born to Archdevil Zelinor, a succubus, and Veestan Lumeth, a high elven nobleman from the 'secret' city of Ny'nahil [in a valley somewhere within the Greypeak Mountains].

The 'story' goes is that Veestan wanted to recapture his glory days as a troubadour and decided he would seduce and bargain with a devil; specifically a native to the Fourth Layer of the Nine Hells, Phlegethos. Whatever bargain was made resulted in Keryx's birth; an Infernal contract cosigned to flesh.

*Though born to a devil, Keryx was born as a Tiefling and not a Cambion (since her mother is the devil, not her father). She does not inherit any Succubus-related abilities though does 'attain' the traits of the Fierna Bloodline, giving her a natural suave charm and inverting a tiefling's natural 'aura' to unsettle others, instead appearing alluring to most who encounter her and remain within her proximity for an extended amount of time. After her 'reforging' in the Pit of Flame, she developed a couple of succubus traits, mainly the ability for her musk and bodily fluids to behave as aphrodisiacs.

As per the bargain, Keryx was taken to Faerun to be left in the care of Veestan until her thirteenth year, but he wanted nothing to do with his bastard devil and so abandoned her in favor of reliving his fame.

For his vanity and blatant disregard for his own child, Yorilnth banished Veestan fron Ny'nahil and stripped him of all his wealth and titles, bequeathing them to Keryx as his sole (and rightful) heir once of age to utilize her inheritance. In the interim, Yorilnth, reluctantly, became mother to an unwanted tiefling child.

Yorilnth is no ordinary high elf, but an Ancient Silver Dragon that has called Ny'nahil her lair for several centuries now. Though there is no monarchy, the residents of Ny'nahil and her clan refer to her as 'queen'. Keryx was raised, mostly, by Yorilnth and Alioth, the clan's egg keeper, and experienced a relatively lovely and 'normal' upbringing. Keryx grew especially close to Razsermerjur, Yorilnth's youngest child, and the two treated each other as siblings.

Upon the hour Keryx turned thirteen, a Bone Devil suddenly arrived in Ny'nahil and dragged her down to Phlegethos, nearly killing Razsamerjur as the dragon, valiantly, tried to protect their sister from her fate.

For the next twenty-ish years, Keryx was raised in the ways of her Infernal heritage. Every day was a test of survival as Baator was not a kind place to mortals, in any capacity.

Zelinor hated Keryx, being the living embodiment of a great embarrassment yet could not cause harm to her due to the contract she, literally, gave birth to. Yet, Keryx developed a very sharp wit and talent for duplicity and seduction despite the disadvantages of her breeding... skills Zelinor took advantage of to the point Keryx found herself serving as a Justiciar of the Diabolical Courts, when not being utilized as a whore.

To ensure the contract wasn't 'accidentally' broken, Zelinor assigned one of her Cornugons to guard Keryx, with the ulterior intention to test Keryx's ability to charm and seduce. This is how Keryx and Esilith became intimately involved with each other. Keryx seduced her guardian and the two became, madly, enamored with each other.

Through the course of their relationship, Keryx picked up the moniker and stage name 'The Infernal Siren'. With Esilith at her side, the pair wracked up quite the body count. Keryx was so 'in love' with the cornugon, she put herself through horrendous physical trials and torment, such as having her body modified to be the 'perfect' lover and even endured several days within the Pit of Flame (which ruined most of her body and burned away parts of her soul). However, their relationship quickly turned violent when, in a fit of jealous rage, Esilith stabbed Keryx through the heart after learning she was to be 'married' to a another devil.

With her heart rent in half, but alive, Keryx had the brilliant idea to have a variant of an Infernal Engine grafted to her heart; an iron music box that would serve as a spell foci for her infernal bardic work, which solely had relied on her singing voice. Over the course of a year, Keryx wrote a song & performance that came to be known as the 'Song of Ruin' but required the use of her 'music-box heart' to complete the ritual; driving entire armies and cities to ecstatic destruction by instigating orgies and various acts of debauchery until all that were subjected to the song perished, either from sheer exhaustion or violent madness.

The Song of Ruin attracted the interest and attention of the Lords of the Fourth; Archduke Belial and Archduchess Fierna. Keryx served them as, primarily, a saboteur on various fronts of the Blood War as well as other layers of Baator.

At some point, Keryx grew homesick for Faerun and tried to escape, unsuccessfully, several times before entering a contract with Archduchess Fierna to return to the Prime Material Plane... as long as she fulfilled her obligations to create cults and worshippers for Fierna so the Lady of the Fourth could increase her power.

Upon returning to Faerun, Keryx immediately returned to Ny'nahil. Yorilnth, Alioth, Razsamerjur... despite her long absence, Keryx was welcomed home and her family sought to heal what they could of the scars, both physical and mental, that the Nine Hells had left upon her. Keryx struggled to adjust to being a Faerunian, however... and Fierna made her pay for her insubordination.

Archduchess Fierna tormented Keryx with nightmares until the tiefling broke and she attempted to corrupt Ny'nahil. The ritual never finished, as she fled when she realized what she had wrought upon her home.

Adopting the name Hestra while on the road (and rarely ever revealing her surname), Hestra wandered the Sword Coast for a number of years (often carrying out her contractual obligations to Fierna) before starting to settle in Baldur's Gate. She becomes a 'silent partner' with Rizare (a Deeva prostitute turned business owner), wrote and sold plays to theatres around the city and occasionally turnrf sects of the Baldurian aristocracy or common folk to the worship of Fierna.

She further hides her identity by wearing a Ring of Disguise Self that makes her appear more 'normal'; Infernal eyes hidden behind green, tattoos and scarring all smooth flesh

Despite having a string of paramours from all walks of life (though she never physically engaged with anyone, resorting to charm spells to gaslight her 'lovers' into believing otherwise), Hestra staunchly refused to intimately commit to another.

Then the Absolute Crisis happened... Which is where my fan-fic writing tends to focus with this character (with a sprinkling of post-game or AU nonsense).

Hestra was leaving Baldur's Gate, via the Black Dragon Gate, intending to take one of her plays on tour when Absolute Cultists nabbed her and imprisoned her on the Emperor's Nautiloid.

The adventure wasn't all bad, despite being infected by illithid.

Made new friends, saved Faerun and fell (very hard) in love with Lae'zel of Creche K'liir.

And the rest, as they say, is history. I drabbled very long about my Tav, hope you enjoyed. Maybe I'll do more... cause I have a few more Tavs and other OCs.

[soleilnomoon]

nsfw where y/n accidentally eats an aphrodisiac but zoro doesn't understand what's going on and he just wants to train in peace (but in the end he gives in please)

ahh so sorry this took forever, ty ty for your patience 😊💛 i do love disrupting zoro's peace with nonsense & i had fun writing it; i hope you enjoy <3

2.7k words, fem reader (no pronouns), nsfw, 18+, mdni; a bit of angst, there's some fluff if you pretend that zoro not choking her is fluff, smut shenanigans; feat. zoro being a lil mean (he's a petty bitch when he's jealous im sry), reader being dense and pouty and ridiculous, a wild sanji appears! other cute things like: pussy slapping, oral (f receiving), fingering, yk the vibes.

the last thing you remember, is a small, obnoxious voice in the back of your head saying don’t do it; but the thing is, once you’re told not to do something, you feel that much more inclined to see it all through. it’s sound logic in your opinion, one that you employ whenever — and, more importantly, wherever — you can.

except this time around, you fuck up in a slightly irreparable way.

from an outdated catalog, you order what you assume is an herbal tea to help with sea sickness among other various ailments. and while you can’t exactly pronounce or read most of the names on the ingredients list, you assume that it will be remotely harmless. it’s tea, after all. so, imagine your surprise — once the water is boiled, once the bag has been steeped, once the hot liquid settles in your stomach — when it feels like everything has stared to slow down around you. something shifts inside of you, suddenly it feels as if your body’s been transformed into a gelatinous thing, your organs bouncing against one another, your legs nearly give out when you try to stand up.

naturally, you feel a little off.

it starts again with a small itch underneath your skin; no matter what you do, no matter where you scratch, the itch remains — spreading all over your body, making you wholly too sensitive to touch, which is a fucking shame as your crew mates are always touching one another in some way. you’re not exempt from that, although today you do your best to keep your distance, finding it rather difficult to let anyone’s touch linger for longer than a moment. in the middle of the day, during your quest to avoid your crew mates, you run into sanji — or collide more like — and he reaches out to steady you, as if it’s a regular occurrence for him. which, it is, but that’s not the damn point right now.

you’re in the middle of a crisis.

he grips your shoulders firmly, lips set into a straight line as he checks you over; once he’s satisfied, his playfulness comes back. “where are you running off to?” you choke out a small laugh, one that makes you look less panicked and more like your usual self. he has absolutely no idea that you really do need to run away from him, and you maybe feel a little bad that you’re lying to him — however, in your defense, you’re certain that if you don’t find a way to alleviate that bothersome ache in between your legs, you’ll riot. now, normally, that extreme way of thinking would be cause for concern, but given the circumstances, you’ll forgive yourself for this transgression.

sanji raises a brow at the way you can’t seem to stop fidgeting, your snap your fingers quietly, almost as if you’re trying to ground yourself. he’s unsure why you would feel the need to do that, but he doesn’t press the issue. “i haven’t seen you all day.” his words are harmless, you know that, but he carefully drizzles them onto your skin — slow-moving, honeyed, potentially life-ruining — and they bring an inescapable heat to your body. your self-preservation is practically nonexistent right now; and you know that if you’re not careful, you’ll cross a line and may not survive in the end.

you’re sure this must be some punishment for a crime you committed in a previous life, because it makes absolutely no sense why his hands sliding down your arms makes you want to—

“nowhere,” you blurt out suddenly, cheeks deeply flushed as you shimmy out of his hold, “i’ll… talk to you later.” your words are rushed and jumbled, but you’re beyond caring; you work your legs as fast as you can, hoping sanji won’t think to follow after you. if you had better sense, you wouldn’t have drank the tea without properly investigating it first; but you’re foolish, so very, damn foolish.

something hot rolls over you, making it difficult to think straight; without realizing, your feet take you to the very last person you should be around right now.

everyone knows that when zoro’s training, he’s not to be bothered unless absolutely necessary; yet there you are, disrupting his focus. typical. you pop up behind him breathless, throat dry, chest heaving as if you can’t quite catch your breath — everything about you is clumsy and loud, so he sighs when he turns around to face you.

“what is it?”

you blink slowly and absently lick your lips; his question lingers in the air and circles around you — a solemn vulture, ready to tend to the dead. while normally a lush, vibrant place, your mind goes blank. zoro narrows his eye at you and your newfound silence. it’s suspicious, really — you’re a chatterbox, one that he constantly tells to shut up, albeit this is mostly done out of affection from him — so he’s unsure if this is a trick on your part, but he refuses to participate.

“make it quick, i need to get back to training.”

despite knowing that he really does want you to hurry up, you can’t bring yourself to say anything. not out of fear of upsetting him, but because you’re not sure how he’d react to you telling him the truth. clenching your teeth, you consider your options, rocking a bit on your heels as you look around; again, he thinks you’re being strange and refuses to beat around the damn bush any longer.

“spit it out,” he says gruffly, annoyance buzzing around inside of him. he’s trying to remain as patient as he can, but you’re taking too long and if he lets you have your way, he’ll be standing there all day waiting.

“okay, okay,” you squeak, voice lowering as if you’re afraid of someone hearing you, “there’s something wrong with me.” the words tumble out of your mouth faster than you can manage, making you stutter over them, further confusing the thick-skulled swordsman before you. his frown deepens, and he prompts you to repeat yourself. slowly.

it's his turn to blink at you stupidly. “why would you drink it without knowing what it would do—”

you let out a strangled noise, frustration piling onto your chest the more you talk about this. “i get it, i messed up, can you just help me out?” the flush hasn’t left your cheeks if anything it burns so badly that you refuse to keep eye contact. because the longer you stand near him, the more you struggle with keeping your hands to yourself; the longer he looks at you, the more you want him to see all of you. with a sigh, you explain all of the things that happened to you — in detail, since he insisted and you’re too wound up to fight him on it — which leads him to understand that the tea you drank contained an aphrodisiac of sorts.

why else would the idiot cook even seem remotely interesting to you if that wasn’t the case?

it’s not out of jealousy, he tells himself as he places his swords down carefully; but maybe a part of him likes that you came to him instead of anyone else. he refuses to give it a name and won’t think about this any harder than he already has; he has a feeling that if he lets it fester, it’ll turn him into a lovesick fool — like sanji — and there’s no coming back from that.

somewhere in between his sly smiles and teasing comments, zoro’s presses you against the wall, mouth every bit as sinful as it is disrespectful when he drops a playful kiss on your lips. he’s testing the waters — to see how much you can take before you implode; unfortunately, his experiment is short-lived, you’re already pulling him back, annoyed with his games. you almost tell him to fuck off, but you need him — and you refuse to keep on suffering like this by yourself. your lips are on his rather quickly, soft and eager, tongue flicking against his bottom lip before slipping inside of his mouth.

kissing zoro is a risky endeavor; it’s all-consuming, dizzying, and electrifying at the same damn time. if anyone were to ask you what year or century it was, you wouldn’t have an answer for them. not one that makes any sense, at least. when he slips a hand into your shorts, you turn into putty. your panties soaked, arousal clinging to your skin when he pulls the fabric aside. you should feel mortified at the startled cry you let out when he strokes down your slit, fingers thick and rough, hips rolling forward as you try to tell him to hurry it up. he chuckles at your impatience, which only makes him want to tease you more, but he understands that you’re in a precarious situation — one he’s set on solving right away.

“i know,” he says against your ear, goosebumps prancing along your arms when his fingers rub circles on your pussy, “don’t worry, i’ve got you.” you want to ask him what he means by that, but by the time the question forms in your head and travels to your mouth, zoro’s pulled off your shorts and panties before boldly thrusting his fingers inside of you. with trembling legs, you cling onto his shoulders, press your face against his chest as he thrusts his fingers in and out of your tight hole. the moan you let out is loud enough to rouse the dead —which only encourages zoro to pump his thick fingers faster. he enjoys the way you can’t stop whimpering, and the way that you squeeze around his fingers; that level of desperation arouses him, but he ignores the growing bulge in his pants to take care of you first.

something tells you to keep your voice down, but with how fast zoro’s fingers are fucking you, it’s damn near impossible. and when you place a hand over your mouth to silence yourself, he slaps your pussy in retaliation. you stare at him incredulously, stumbling over your words, hating the way your hips bucked from the force of the slap. zoro, in turn, gives you a dark look, one that fizzles out whatever smartass remark you were ready to give him.

you’re not sure what possesses you, but when he thrusts his fingers back inside of your pussy, thumb rubbing firm circles around your throbbing clit, your head spins, making you say something ridiculous. “s-sanji would’ve nev—” he swallows the rest of your words when he kisses you roughly, teeth tugging on your plump lip. his tongue is commanding, stroking yours with such familiarity that you have to remind yourself that this is real. the kiss is more sensual than necessary, making you forget your point altogether. he knows the only reason why you mentioned the cook is to rile him up, and while it did work, he refuses to let any it fuel his jealousy. he has things to do today, after all.

“if you wanted the damn cook so bad, why did you come to me?” his voice is gravelly and husky, a dangerous combination for you given your current state. you want to tell him that you don’t want sanji, that you want him, but you’re also quite childish and petty at the most inconvenient times. you know, you know, you know. you’ll work on it one day. possibly. he doesn’t expect an answer out of you, especially when he drags his tongue down the length of your neck, nipping and biting your soft skin. you know that once he’s through with you, you won’t be able to face the others for a while.

by the time he inserts a third finger, your skin is littered with dark red marks and his hand is coated in your slick arousal; it trickles slowly with some of your wetness spilling onto his wrist. and since he’s so damn chivalrous, he holds you steady as you thrash against him, hips bucking wildly as you moan his name loudly. you’d forgotten that you were committed to keeping quiet, but with zoro you tend to be louder than necessary. he loves it though; his smirk is proof enough. he pulls his fingers away, much to your disappointment; you pout, grab onto his arms, and ask him why. grinning slyly, he tells you to watch your mouth and kneels before you.

zoro grabs your leg and drapes it over his shoulder, his tongue running flat along your slit, giving your pussy a long lick before dipping inside. you thread your fingers through his short, messy hair, grab the strands roughly, moaning louder, breath coming out in shallow puffs as he devours your pussy. you’ve never known zoro to be a messy eater in general, but the way he messily slurps and licks, flicking his tongue against your clit hard, making you tense and shriek. you’re sure everyone’s heard you by now, but you’ve lost the capacity to care — not while zoro’s eating your pussy like it’s the only meal he’ll consume for a long time. he should probably ease up, and almost considers it until he remembers that you brought up sanji and what he wouldn’t or would do with you.

he slips a finger inside of your needy hole as his tongue circles around your clit. you know you won’t last longer at this rate — it’s a miracle you lasted this long anyway — but he starts sucking on your clit hard and you lose the remainder of your sanity. the orgasm claims most of your life, and your voice is incredibly hoarse by the end of it. zoro works you through the orgasm, finger pumping in and out swiftly, his tongue flicking your clit repeatedly, which only prolongs things. your wetness drips onto his chin, some of it landing on the floor. you’re so embarrassed by it all — by the shameless way you rode his face, by how needy he makes you feel without even trying — and you’d hide your face if zoro wasn’t so busy ruining your life.

“zoro,” you say softly, feeling weak but you still manage to yank on his hair hard enough to catch his attention. when he finally does pull back, he takes a breath and licks your arousal from his lips. he knows that sooner or later he’ll have to take care of his erection — it presses against the front of his pants painfully, and it takes everything in him to just walk away from you — but he’s not done training and he’s wasted enough time as is. you know you shouldn’t ask for more, but the desire to seek him out later grows stronger by the minute. you watch him for a moment, admire the broadness of his shoulders, the thickness of his arms, until you remember that you’re half-naked and that anyone can come in and see you like that.

your embarrassment nearly triples as you trip over yourself trying to get dressed again; your hands shake and your legs can barely hold you up, but you can’t let him see just how much he affects you. you whisper a soft, thank you before taking off. you still feel his lips and hands on your body, and you feel like you’re being burned alive. despite finally finding relief, a different ache plagues you, crawls around your lower abdomen and throbs so much that you decide to sleep the rest of the day away.

with his back turned, he can pretend that he’s composed, even though he’s everything but — he knows there’s no way he can go back to training after he had his fingers and mouth in your cunt. if he were the poetic sort, he’d say it was the highlight of his month, but thankfully he’s not. still, it doesn’t stop him from looking over his shoulder, watching the way you scurry off, hips swaying, ass even more appealing the longer he stares at it. when you’re finally out of sight, he lets out a defeated sigh, internally berating himself for getting too carried away. if he had more discipline, he’d have been able to resist you more — or, that’s the lie he’s going to tell himself until he starts believing it.

[nagaparadise]

So, as a way to keep this blog more active, along with imagines, I’m introducing a sort of mascot that you can freely interact with!

Feel free to ask absolutely anything, from the tamest sfw to the raunchiest smut! Just be sure to check out the rules before asking!

Since it got kinda long, here’s his introduction and rules below the cut!

Name: Rune

Pronouns: He/Him

Age: Unknown, possibly hundreds of years old

Hobbies: Also unknown. Rune is truly an enigmatic Naga, who seems to only appear when summoned, either by intentionally, or even just unconsciously thinking about him. How he spends his free time is an utter mystery, with some believing that he could be travelling throughout time and space, testing his strength by fighting in various arenas, or that he could be a denizen, or even a ruler of the underworld.

Personality: Rune is a straightforward, no-nonsense naga who might come off as grumpy, but has a sensitive side (although he’ll never admit it). He doesn’t speak much, if at all, and prefers to keep to low grunts and growls, or to let his actions speak for him. He is serious about his physical fitness, and takes pride in his strength, often leading him to be somewhat competitive.However, that doesn’t mean that he’s always working out, and enjoys taking his time enjoying being surrounded by nature. He doesn’t spend much time around humans, but isn’t hostile towards us at all. In fact, he’s very curious about us, and the differences between humans and Nagas. Rune also has a bit of a possessive side, and once something catches his attention, he will get what he wants.

Description: From head to end of tail, Rune is about 19 ft/579 cm, and stands at 8 ft/243 cm when sitting upright.

-He has wild and fluffy white hair that spikes out behind him, and reaches to his mid back.

-Two thick horns adorn his forehead, and curve towards the top back of his head, much like a horned viper.

-His sclera are pitch black, while his irises are a bright gold, intense enough that they feel like they’re looking into your soul.

-His face is sharp, and the row of teeth that line his mouth are even sharper. A long forked tongue is stored within, and only reveals itself when necessary.

-He does produce venom, however, this venom is completely non-toxic to humans, and instead, has some...aphrodisiac qualities.

-His skin tone is almost like marble, and his body is very muscular, yet oddly soft to the touch, especially his chest and biceps. Shallow scars of unknown origin decorate his body and tail.

-His tail is black, with a purple iridescent sheen. His underbelly has a lighter shade of purple, and white spots line the back of his tail, once again much like a horned viper.

-Also, he has two sets of arms, one set in their usual place, and the other set springing from his back.

-At the end of each of his hands contains a mouth, complete with tongues, dull fangs, and venom of their own. However, these mouths aren’t always prominent, and appear during...special occasions, much like his tongue.

(Now for the smut crowd!)

-Of course he has double cocks, slightly iridescent like his tail, and stored just under where his tail begins and torso ends.

-They’re thick, and have a slight curve. The head comes to a point, not sharp, but not dull, either. The midpoint of the shaft flares out with a small bump which has shallow ridges, and ends with a sleek base.

-When in heat, a bump on only one cock will inflate much like a knot, and release more amount of cum than the other.

Rules, or guidelines when interacting with Rune:

1. Nothing is off limits! Seriously, have fun, and ask whatever you want! Rune is down for anything and anyone! (Although he may act a little grumpy about it)

2. When asking him about something in say, a sexual manner, make sure to say if you want to engage in an act with him or not. I don’t want to accidentally overstep any boundaries just in case someone asks something sexual, but isn’t intending to act on it. (example, asking how he feels about oral vs asking to give/receive oral) Rune respects consent!

3. Unfortunately the RP aspect is limited to your ask and his answer. I can’t exactly go on for full RP sessions, as I don’t want to end up clogging the blog with RP posts.

[kyouxa]

Diabolik lovers: Reiji x Yui

This NSFW scenario has been requested by @diafan4eversakakmaki​​! Thank you for enjoying my fanfics, I didn’t write in forever so I hope you enjoy it regardless! (Feedback etc. as well as requests are obviously welcomed, I’d be happy!)♡

"You have a fever!?" escaped uncontrollably from Yui's lips, as she brought in Reiji's breakfast. Almost angrily he slapped her hand off his forehead, calling it 'utter nonsense'. 

"You know… it's okay if you rest and do nothing, I can do whatever you had planned today! Really, I'd be happy to help you out!" Yui explained with a bright happy smile on her face. While sighing and heavily breathing, Reiji agreed to her request and handed her a list. "I'll bring you your tea before starting with the list, okay?" Yui asked, while putting down the tablet with food on Reiji's bed. Before being able to leave, Reiji grabbed her hand and asked her to bring medicine before starting with the chores. Closing the door behind her, Reiji frowned as if he knew something was going to happen. 

"Nfu~♪, it's rare for anyone to ever leave Reiji's room with such a big smile. What's going on, Bitch-chan?" Laito asked while getting closer to her. Totally caught off guard, Yui tried her best not to make it as obvious as she could. "E-Eh? Ah—! It's nothing. I might just… um… caught a little fever or something like that and Reiji offered to take care of me! And because of that, he needs some medicine!" 

"Medicine? Why would he need some if you're the one having the fever?" putting a smirk on his face, Yui already knew very well she was caught lying. "F-Fine… I need medicine for Reiji-san. He caught a fever and I don't know if we have—" but before being able to finish her sentence, Laito pressed a bottle in her hand. 

"Nfu~, this should work. Just add a bit in his tea and he should be fine a few moments after." he claimed with a dirty smile on his face. Being extremely naive as she is, she accepted the bottle and hurried downstairs to fill in a cup of tea for her lover. 

Satisfied with the result of the tea, she added a few spoons of the substance of the bottle to the tea. "I wonder… will this really help him?" questioning her decisions, she walked upstairs and knocked on Reiji's door. As she finally got the signal to enter, she didn't waste any second. 

While carefully approaching her sick boyfriend, he instantly tried receiving the tea from her hands. After innocently enjoying the tea for a bit, Yui tried getting up from his bed to begin her chores.

Yui's POV

As I tried getting up from his bed, I felt his hand grabbing my arm and pushing me back. “Reiji-san!? What's wrong?” I asked, not understanding the situation I´ve gotten myself into. 

“What did you put in this tea, answer me this instant!” he almost yelled with an angry voice.

“It´s medicine, just like you asked me to! Why are you so--” I tried to reply to him, as I suddenly felt sweat running down my spine. Knowing I made a mistake to trust Laito-kun, I was scared of what I actually put in the cup. But before I could ask any further questions, he got on top of me. Accidentally moaning by the sudden pressure of his body weight, he leaned over to steal a kiss from me. 

As he felt me trying to forcefully push him away, he pulled back. As I tried looking into his eyes, I noticed the sweat running down his red face. Instantly regretting my earlier happiness, he started trailing kisses along my neck as he ripped my shirt off my body. Knowing exactly where this was about to go, I tried my best to resist for the last time before he spoke to me. “Do not push me away, and rather take responsibility for your doing. After all… it is your fault for drugging me with an aphrodisiac.” 

As my eyes widened to his response, I fully understood that all of this was Laito-kun´s plan from the very beginning. The panic I had when he started, now turned into softness and understanding for his situation. “Okay… I will take responsibility.” I answered calmly. 

Only ever being under Reiji-san´s mercy, turned completely normal to me in our sex life. And now… I was supposed to take responsibility for my mistake. As I decided to take over control, he still ordered me exactly what he wanted me to do. Switching positions, I was the one on top, and he was on the bottom for the first time. I took off his pants and underwear, leaving him as naked as asked me to. Clearly I began to get embarrassed over the situation, trying to keep in mind who I´m doing this for. 

“Suck me, Yui” he said under the drug's control, as I began to feel my face turn strawberry red. Not waiting too long, I started off slowly, kitty licking the vein on the bottom of his member then slowly sucking on the tip. He started to complain, but before he could say anything I eventually took him fully in my mouth. He immediately moaned and threw his head back. I started deep-throating him, making sure to graze my teeth over his sensitive tip whenever I came back. 

“Ngh, faster.”

I picked up the pace, bobbing my head and sucking even faster. He moaned out loud, as I felt his cum over my mouth. Before receiving any orders, whether to lick it or not, like he usually does, he flipped us over and turned me around. Making me lay with my stomach down and my ass up, he took off my skirt and the underwear I had underneath. Not even preparing me, he just straight up thrusted into me. I screamed and tears started streaming down my face, as he pulled my head back to kiss me on the lips. 

“The pain will go away sooner than you will realize, you will be fine.” he said soothingly in my ear as he trailed kisses all over my back. Little by little, the pain faded and I eventually started calling out his name. He smirked and started pounding into me relentlessly, hitting my prostate on the first thrust. I screamed and he started going even faster, making me come all over him. Not like this stopped him or the drug from working. 

He lifted my hips up and started going even faster, again making me gasp as orgasm after orgasm came crushing on me. After about seven rounds of sex, I was completely exhausted and laid down, while Reiji was still pounding into me. 

“H-How do you even… have this much amount of stamina?” I tried to ask before he started going even faster again. Slowly losing myself to the pleasure, I eventually gave myself completely to him.

“Nfu… sounds like they're having as much fun as I expected. It's a pity I couldn´t join them directly, maybe next time then.” Laito mumbled to himself as he stepped away from eavesdropping on the door.

[antikate]

And now for some snake venom

An entirely ridiculous self-indulgent thing for @summerofspock And the Great British Snake Off. 

Bite The Hand

(4929 words) by Anti_kate

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom:

Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Male OC demon

Additional Tags: Snake venom aphrodisiac, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Fuck Or Die, angsty sex, fucking while pining, Venom WTIYS, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dubcon, Porn Without Plot, Blow Jobs, Accidental biting

Summary:

It had been someone in hell’s idea of a joke, he suspected, down in the corporation department. Give the tempting snake demon aphrodisiac venom. And yes, he’d used it a few times, back when he’d been new to the world and what he could do in it. But it had been about as subtle as threatening to bash someone over the head with a brick if they didn’t sin, and frankly he thought it was unfair. So he’d just... not bitten anyone. Until now. When he’d accidentally bitten his best friend, and injected him full of venom. Lust venom.

(Yes I have posted two fics today no I don’t know why I guess it feels like the end of the world and I’m trying to get all the nonsense words out before we’re all huddled around oil drums telling each other about our favourite Netflix shows. Anyway! Have some smutty angst if you feel like it!)

[musutofu]

【 Dating Kaminari 】

Kaminari is under the impression that there’s more than enough of him to go around. That there’s nothing wrong with playing his cards until he gets a winning hand. Only he never keeps his cards long enough to get a winning hand. His reputation as a flirt is well known and he’s tried his luck with anyone that’s piqued his interest at least once. It’s all in good fun and nothing really comes of it. With a reputation like his it’s hard for anyone to take Kaminari seriously when he gives them the time of day. So when he actually takes a genuine interest in someone it’s almost impossible to tell.

Capturing his attention for longer than a few days is hard, but to have Kaminari padding after you like a lovesick puppy for more than a week is absolutely unheard of. You can’t even remember what you did to get him to be so consistent with his advances. You’ve always been kind to him, you’d even go so far as to say you’re friends, but this was something else entirely. One day he just suddenly wanted you something bad and everyone had to know. Kaminari himself couldn’t even figure out why he had to have you but he did. That’s not to say he didn’t get distracted every now and again, yet somehow he always came back to you. If he weren’t so liberal with his affection you’d almost think he legitimately cared for you.

It’s hard for Kaminari to prove himself loyal after you’ve seen how he acts around the people he claims to like. Everyone is like a passing fancy to him and for the poor souls that expected it to be something more, they’re left confused as to where they went wrong. Having his attention is like seeing the sun for the first time, but once it’s gone it feels darker than before. And you’re not about to let this playboy mess with your heart like that. There is no hostility in your rejections, but there is finality. A finality that Kaminari refuses to accept. For reasons he can’t explain he only has eyes for you and he isn’t about to take no for an answer.

After a lot of convincing you decide to give Kaminari one, and only one, chance to prove that he could be loyal and treat you as a boyfriend should treat their significant other. And it becomes apparent quite quickly that Kaminari has absolutely no idea what he’s doing when it comes to dating. He’s never made it this far with anyone but he absolutely can’t mess this up. He showers you in compliments and gifts and hopes it’s enough to convince you to stay. But old habits die hard and he eventually slips up.

He is always open and honest with you and even though you weren’t there to see him mess up, Kaminari caught himself in the act and the guilt eats him alive. He knows the consequences of his actions but also knows that you took a chance on him and he blew it. In his mind, he absolutely deserves whatever comes next. You, however surprised, yourself with your reaction. You’d gone into the test run of a relationship not really thinking it was anything serious and expecting to break it off within a few days, but Kaminari had held true to his words for months and instead of being indifferent to his slip up, you were angry. And anger meant passion. Somehow while you were busy not believing Kaminari actually liked you, you’d taken a liking to him.

When you finally made your relationship official without the test run pretense Kaminari was quick to let everyone know that you were completely off limits to absolutely everyone. He’s possessive to a fault and doesn’t want anyone swooping in and taking you from him, especially since he knows all the tricks people could use to woo you away from him. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, he actually trust you a whole lot more than he trusts himself but he trusts everyone even less than that. If someone even looks at you in a way he doesn’t like they’ll be reminded that you’re off the market with a quick and mostly harmless burst of his Electrification Quirk.

Touchy doesn’t even begin to describe how Kaminari gets when he’s with you. He’s adopted your personal space as his own and doesn’t seem to even notice how close he gets to you whenever you’re around. He unknowingly gravitates towards you until he’s close enough to actually touch you. If you’re standing while he’s sitting he’ll pull you into his lap. If you’re empty handed in his vicinity he’ll thread his fingers through yours. If you’re standing in front of him he’ll rest his head on your shoulder or head. He doesn’t expect you to suddenly shift all your attention to him or really notice at all, it’s just a habit you’ve yet to show him he needs to break.

To Kaminari, laughter is the best aphrodisiac. He’s made it his personal goal to make you laugh at least once a day and has yet to fail. He’s constantly texting you funny things he found while scrolling through his social media or relaying stories about something particularly comical that happened during his day. His jokes or anecdotes no matter how corny or situationally funny never fail to make even your worst days that much more bearable. With enough convincing he might even play a prank on you, but only once in a blue moon and only if the rest of his friends are willing to share the blame for instigating.

He may not be the most intelligent on paper, but Kaminari is smart in his own way. It’s more street smarts than book smarts, although he seems to know something about everything. Some days he’ll start in on a subject he’s particularly interested in at the moment and ramble on to you about it in his way that makes the most full subjects seem interesting. He always feels embarrassed after his long rants, apologizing for boring you with his nonsense and being uncharacteristically quiet for a while afterwards. No matter how many times you reassure him that his long tirades about music of art are just as interesting to you as they are to him. It’s easiest to encourage him when he starts in on a topic both of you are equally interested in. If that’s the case you two could talk for hours without noticing.

After a particularly exhausting day, or accidentally overshooting his Quirk abilities, Kaminari likes to cuddle up to you while he charges. It had started after he went dumb for the umpteenth time and it was too much of a hassle to get him off you after he made himself comfortable. Now he purposely comes to find you when he needs to charge or just when he wants to nap. If he’s lucid he’ll make a joke about holding his whole world in his arms even if he’s seconds away from passing out. Conversely, if Kaminari ever notices that you look particularly lethargic he’ll pull you on top of him to return the favor of being a body pillow.

There’s an entire folder on his phone dedicated to pictures of you. Most are candids you hadn’t even noticed he’d taken, some are of you catching him in the act of snapping the photo, a few are of the two of you together, and all of them bring a smile to his face. He likes knowing that he can see your smile even if it’s not in person. His phone backgrounds are always pictures of you. As requested his lock screen is always a flattering photo seeing as you were so up in arms about people seeing pictures of you that weren’t up to your standards. Kaminari hadn’t gotten the fuss as he thinks every picture of you is beautiful but he complied nonetheless. Now only a handful of people with his password get to see his “less attractive” background.

He bought you a necklace with a single lightning bolt charm very early in your relationship. He’d intended it to be another one of his courting presents but decided it was probably too early to give you something that so obviously symbolizes him. He saved it until later in your relationship and gave it to you on a special occasion. Now it’s hard to see you without it around your neck, even if you’re angry with him. To Kaminari it’s a symbol of all the struggles he went through to be able to call you his and for people to believe he doesn’t mean it as a flavor of the week sort of deal. It reminds him that that you accepting his confession was a choice, just as you wearing the necklace is and he works everyday to make sure you never regret it.

Kaminari was afraid to say I love you at first. He’d fallen so far down the rabbit hole of being a flirt that he was afraid you’d discount his words as something he’s said to plenty of people before you without actually meaning it. But once the two of you make it past that awkward phase of your relationship, he starts to say it more often. It’s still not a common occurrence, but he says it when he thinks it’s needed. Like after a particularly bad day or a strenuous fight. Because he needs you to know that even if it isn’t always sunshine and blue skies he’s willing to stay by your side and work for the love he had to earn.

[distracteddream]

Would love to know a bit about your Accidental Aphrodisiac Nonsense, some of my very favorite things all in one 😅

Muahaha! Thank you for the ask!

This is very much what it says on the tin. Lokius are on a mission and Mobius decides one drink won’t hurt. The drinks have an aphrodisiac effect and lead to Mobius confessing how much he wants Loki. The feeling is mutual and, after some enthusiastic consent, acted upon.

I want this to be smut but also what gets them to admit how they feel about each other. Mobius is so professional and by-the-book and Loki is afraid of rejection and being vulnerable so they both need a little external push.

Plus I get to write Mobius saying “Yes, Loki” after we hear so much “Loki, no” in canon!

Ask Meme

[hope-for-olicity]

Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - March 29th, 2019

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them. This and all previous Fabulous Olicity Fanfic posts can be found on my blog.

Run to the Water multi-chapter Complete by @someonesaidcake - The year is 1912, Oliver was 9 and far too old to be babysitting that nonsensical girl Felicity whose parents owned the cattle ranch where his parents worked and lived, but she won him over with oat and raisin biscuits and soon became his little blonde sidekick...with a completely unrequited crush on him. Years later she returns from boarding school and more than bush fires ignite in the changing times.... https://archiveofourown.org/works/7455738/chapters/16942293

Re-Airrow 2x23 by @lostolicityscenes - Holy Smoaks! Here we are at the finale. This was another fast paced and tightly plotted episode with so many epic Olicity moments. But, one thing I still wonder about is how much Felicity knew going into the mansion. She seems genuinely shocked when Oliver says I love you, yet later in the episode Oliver replies “we both did” when she says “you really sold it.” So I wrote this sort of AU that casts that first scene in a different light. I think he meant to say it, but realized how much he MEANT IT in the moment. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed Season 2 of Re-Airrow. https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/183631815031/re-airrow-2x23

Will Fate Allow? multi-chapter WIP by @mindramblingsfics - Seeing her parent's marriage dissolve at a young age made Felicity yearn for a healthy marriage of her own. She thought she'd finally found what she was looking for when Billy Malone showed up offering her what her heart desired. She thought she was happy and had everything she could want, but things began to unravel. Slowly she turned to someone who had become an unparalleled constant in her life...Oliver Queen. Oliver and Felicity are the definition of polar opposites. He is the mob boss that strikes fear in the hearts many, while she is seen as the sweet girl next door, but there is more to both of them underneath the surface. Along the way, they become connected to one another leading to their lives being intertwined forever. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16521596/chapters/38699951

Not My Dog by @sentence-fragments - Oliver lost his dog. https://archiveofourown.org/works/8298470

Hey Baby, I Think I Wanna Marry You by @felicityollies - prompt: impaired judgement - After a night of drinking and laced brownies, Oliver and Felicity find themselves fooling around. What they didn’t expect was for one of them to propose marriage. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11034534/chapters/26572173

It Takes Two by @mogirl97 - When Oliver Queen finds himself short of a partner for his upcoming Crossfit competition, he resigns himself to having to drop out... until he walks in on a blonde stranger in the gym and has a change of heart (in more ways than one) https://archiveofourown.org/works/11788236

Forgotten Treasures by @muslimsmoak - Oliver and William are trying to find their way with each other and it doesn’t help Oliver when he finds will’s green arrow action figure thrown in the garbage. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11806263

Impaired Judgement by @wetsuiton - Felicity takes a bullet for Dinah and gets super cute and loopy on the pain meds https://archiveofourown.org/works/11084547/chapters/26651937

The One Where Drunk Felicity Checks an Item Off Her Bucket List by @wrldtravler - With the help of a little liquid courage, Felicity finally attempts to check off the most unthinkable item on her bucket list with a little help from the Hood. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11819325

The Fan multi-chapter WIP by @leuska - For the past couple of months, Felicity Smoak, previous child star known to the world through her alter ego Lisy the Tech Whiz, who ended her career and her growing popularity at the age of thirteen rather abruptly, has sporadically received disturbing notes and gifts in her mail. Police believe the notes to be just little tokens of appreciation by a former fan. Despite having left the spotlight over a decade ago and living in anonymity since, the fan mail keeps coming, increasing in frequency as well as intensity. The last drop is when Felicity receives another letter with a love note. A scary, ominous note. A note written in human blood.FBI director Amanda Waller tasks her best Agent to the case. Oliver Queen, a criminal profiler, is currently working on a special task force formed between SCPD and FBI to catch a man dubbed the Start City Slasher, who has murdered at least three young women in the past nine months. Agent Queen is not thrilled with the prospect of holding a former princess’ hand through her problem with a simple stalker while a serial killer is still at large. However, once meeting her, Oliver finds there is nothing easy or simple about Felicity Smoak as their worlds start to intertwine. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726573/chapters/41820368

Do You Remember multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - Eight years after Oliver and Felicity became teenage parents, they have everything they could have ever hoped for and more. They have a good life in a nice house. Their marriage is happy, and a second baby is on its way. The calm they have settled in is interrupted abruptly when a stalker starts terrorizing Felicity. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17409059/chapters/40978307

Impaired Judgement by @cruzrogue - John Diggle is out of it by an aphrodisiac truth drug and its awkward field mission. He tells Felicity how he appreciated her and then it leads to how he thinks she is very beautiful and sexy and how he tried to control himself in the beginning before Oliver got a clue and they were just friends. When Oliver shows up Diggle needs his help too. John has no clue what was said. Oliver and Felicity promise to never tell him. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11806272

What's Yours is Mine by @laxit21 - This is some pure, unapologetic fluff. I’m not sorry. https://laxit21.tumblr.com/post/183633727946/whats-yours-is-mine

PrepPy GoThic LoVe multi-chapter WIP by @cruzrogue - New Freshman at MIT, Felicity wants to party and she meets another drunken party guest Oliver and they hit it off. Not really thinking of consequences have a wonderful time together. Oliver been to two different schools and this one he finally wants to do better because of a beacon of hope that rubbed off on him with just one night a passionate gothic girl changes him for the better. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11805543/chapters/26631204

From Somewhere Within multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - Their connection has always felt natural to them, safe and secure. But others tend to fear what they don’t understand, and as far as their enemies are concerned, the world isn’t ready to accept two people who can know each other the way that Oliver and Felicity do. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16009244/chapters/37356257

To Sacrifice the Sun multi-chapter WIP by @emmilynestill - Oliver and Felicity are ARGUS agents working on a mission in Mexico, the two share some very important history. http://archiveofourown.org/works/7510744/chapters/22505918

One Night multi-chapter WIP by @suttons-brady - Felicity paces back and forth in her bathroom, fingers playing with each other in front of her stomach and her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. How the hell did she get here? She prides herself on being smart -- on being a genius, actually. Hell, she skipped eighth grade! So how in the hell had she ended up here, burning a hole in the floor of her bathroom, waiting for a flimsy plastic stick to tell her if her life is over? http://archiveofourown.org/works/11076792/chapters/24706029

Providence multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated - Will Queen has struggled in silence in the year since he was shot. But when a shadowy crime lord known as Domino targets the only woman Will’s ever truly loved, fate forces him to confront his demons in ways he never could have imagined… Whether he wants to or not. Amelia Prescott has fought to take control of her life since learning two years ago that her personal and professional worlds were manipulated by others. But nothing can prepare her for just how hard she'll have to fight to set her own course, especially when her heart belongs to a damaged man and a crime lord threatens her every professional move... And her life. Destiny brings them together, but as chaos reigns and personal demons haunt Will and Amelia both, it may also threaten to tear them apart. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17919056/chapters/42308753

Love and Little Cupcakes multi-chapter WIP by @christinabeggs - Felicity loved sweets so much that she paid no attention to her lovelife. Until Thea Queen came into her store wanting fabulous cupcakes for her sixteenth birthday. SO ADORABLE! http://archiveofourown.org/works/12400539/chapters/28216053

I Regret Nothing by somewhereelse Season 2 Missing Scene/AU. Drunk! Oliver is sassy. Sober! Felicity is over it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823810

Wait, Did I Already Do That? by @laureningall - Thea is a woman on a mission. She wants to take Felicity out for a ‘belated bachelorette party’. Needless to say, a busy day leads to impaired judgment and some unintended consequences for Felicity during her night out on the town with the girls. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11837235

seemingly impossible (but not untrue) multi-chapter WIP by @alexiablackbriar13 - Young genius historian Dr Felicity Smoak unknowingly and accidentally calls up a bewitched alchemical manuscript within the Oxford Bodleian Libraries - a book that has been lost for centuries. Descended from an old and distinguished line of witches, Felicity wants nothing to do with magic, despite her unruly and powerful abilities. But her discovery of Ashmole 782 sets the world of creatures stirring; with a mystery afoot and new, dangerous magical abilities manifesting for her to navigate, she is approached by the enigmatic vampire biochemist Professor Oliver Queen, who seems to have a deep interest in both the manuscript… and her. Based on A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16224353/chapters/37923743  

2 + 2 Equals a Family multi-chapter Complete by @mogirl97 - When Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak both reach for the last Lego Batman set on the shelf at the same time one December night while holiday present shopping for their kids, they have no idea that their chance encounter is going to change their lives. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11853030/chapters/26760468

With the Speed of an Arrow multi-chapter WIP by @academyofshipping - Oliver Queen’s elite and silver-spoon life has taken some blows in the past few years, but he is still the carefree billionaire everyone knows of and loves. When his role in the family business is in jeopardy and he is introduced to a motley of new people, his status quo is threatened. With a changed perspective, Oliver realizes his feeling for his best friend and anchor-in-life, Felicity Smoak, may be more than just platonic. OR A modern adaption of Jane Austen’s Emma with a gender swap* and no island. *Knowing that gender is not binary https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559846/chapters/38799857

The Proposal multi-chapter WIP by @spaztronautwriter - When Felicity Smoak finds herself in a bind, she enlists the help of her assistant Oliver Dearden to help keep her from being deported and losing her job. The problem is, in order to do so, they kind of have to get married... http://archiveofourown.org/works/13727445/chapters/31538406

Overwatch multi-chapter WIP by @it-was-a-red-heeler - A burglary attempt convinces the Mayor of Starling City to hire Smoak Technologies to strengthen his security. But between the sassy AI watching him 24/7 and the personal trainer with his own reasons to kill him, Oliver may wish he’d stuck with his baseball bat for protection. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500640/chapters/41221793

// @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @wrongshipper // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 // 

[hinduthatrecallsallincarnations]

After Salem is defeated (Red vs Blue, S15, E5):

Ozpin/Oscar: "Why don't we start with a simple question?" Lisa Lavender: "Nuhuh. We just risked our lives coming from continent to continent and our careers for answers. Our questions first." Raven: leans back in her chair "What do you want?" Lisa L.: "We want to know what happened after your supposed defeat of Salem." Jaune: sighs exasperatedly "Lots of bullshit. I don't even know where the fuck to start." Yang: "Is this before or after we turned off the Temple. Because if it's before, this is gonna get NSFW real quick." Weiss and Blake: "WE PROMISED NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!" looks at each other, then looks away sheepishly with a blush Lisa: confused "Wait, what Temple?" Qrow: "So, Salem had a bunch of these Temple tower things surrounding her personal tower, and each one did a different thing. The Temple they're talking about is the Temple of Procreation." Ozpin/Oscar: "It was meant to be a sort of failsafe should she succeed in subjugating the planet. This way, she could raise the humans in her image - quickly, too. It was..." looks around awkwardly "...effective." Jaune: happy "Oh, yeah. After we killed Salem, we partied fuckin' hard!" Yang: pleased "Y'all keep saying that! It all felt normal to me!" Raven: "You were a virgin before the events at Salem's base of operations." Yang: sharply looks at her "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!" Raven: smugly opens small portal, and sticks her finger in it Yang: blushing, swats away finger floating next to her Raven: quietly retracts finger and deactivates portal Nora: "Oh, and these two" points at Weiss and Blake "are just mad because we locked them in a closet together." Weiss and Blake: looks at her "SHUT UP!" Blake: "And put on some fucking clothes!" Lisa's Cameraman: "Why is she naked?" Lisa: annoyed "That's your first question??" in realization "Ah, that must be why the planet was in an aphrodisiac-like frenzy for a little while." Weiss: sharply "THE SUBJECT!" Blake: sharply "CHANGE IT!" Raven: "To actually answer your question, after the events with Salem, we decided we all needed some R&R." Qrow: "We fuckin' earned it. Even Ozpin agreed!" Ozpin/Oscar: "I decided that if I'm going to have one last life, I may as well make it a normal one." Jaune: "No more adventures? Fuck yeah, I was on board! I'm tired of running around doing the adults' job!" Ozpin, Qrow, Raven: pointedly looks at him Jaune: purposefully ignores them Blake: "Ozpin told us of this isolated island and set us up here. There was an old left here and we cleaned it up." Ruby: "Everyone acclimated to the peace in different ways." points at Yang "Some of us were naturals." Yang: smug "Don't hate the player." Ruby: "Mom got hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically to Salem to prevent having to deal with Uncle Qrow." Raven: indignant immediately "LIES! SLANDER!" Ruby: "But, you said-" flashback Raven: "I am now hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically to Salem to prevent having to deal with my dumbass of a brother.'   end flashback Jaune: "Mrs Branwen wasn't the only one having a hard time adjusting to inaction." Everyone: turns to Weiss Weiss: annoyed "What?" Ozpin/Oscar: amused "Fortunately, we found a tutor." flashback Weiss: "Help me, Yang. Help me to be the laziest." Yang: sitting comfortably on the ground, mock nirvana pose "You are not ready, grasshopper." Weiss: snaps "WHAT THE FU" end flashback Raven: "It...didn't go well..." Blake: "Turns out, this island had some native life forms never found before, but...they weren't the nicest." flashback Weiss, Blake, Yang: running the fuck away from a growling noise Yang: "RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" Blake: "I CAN'T DIE AS FOOD! OOOOOH, THE IRONY!" end flashback Ren: "While we were debating whether or not dying as food was ironic" turns to Nora "Nora made friends with them." Yang: "Because of course she fucking did." flashback Nora: stands proudly on top of gigantic monster, petting it "Oh, who's a good girl?! Who's a good girl?!" Raven: shouts up "Corgis are better!" Ren: "Nora! Get down from there!" Weiss: "Tell it to fight me!" end flashback Weiss: angrily "And then Blake somehow burnt down our only forms of nearly modern shelter!" Blake: "Okay, first of all, lube isn't normally flammable! And B, it was just a simple mishap of dropping the entire bottle on top of my fish scented candles!" Ruby: "You were trying to shove the candles up your ass!" Blake: "YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!" Jaune: "And since eighty percent of our rations burnt down with our forts, fatass over here" gestures to Ruby "decided to eat some native mushrooms that deceptively looked like cookies." flashback Ruby: walks up to some mushroom cookie looking things "Hello, sexy." a moment later Ruby: running around everyone in slow motion end flashback Blake: "After debating long enough, we figured that they somehow reversed the effect of Semblances, so Qrow ate some." Qrow: annoyed "Turns out, they don't." Everyone: silently staring at him Qrow: narrows eyes "I'm not explaining what happened." Raven: "He was sent to another dimension." flashback Qrow: in a dark place, alone, echoing words "Hello?" end flashback Ozpin/Oscar: almost laughter "I told them afterwards that it actually increased the potency of their Semblances by 5,600%." Nora: "Oh! And while everyone was arguing on how Ruby's Semblance increased in potency by going slower, we formed the best band ever!" Ruby: "NORA! CLOTHES!" Nora: "Sheesh! Alright!" leaves room Qrow: leans forward excitedly "Oh, yeah! And we even got Raven to sing!" Raven: blushes, looks away "Oh, God." Weiss: honestly "She can sing very well! We sang many duets!" Yang: "Turned out, my mom was an old k-pop singer during her time at Beacon!" Lisa: "How did you convince her to tell you that?" Blake: "We didn't. Oscar suggested it." Ruby: "Ugh. While that awesomeness was happening, Nora somehow built an entire robotic army to invade the area just so we would have something to fight - since Grimm weren't in the area." Jaune: "But they malfunctioned, so they started fighting the wildlife instead!" flashback Everyone: staring at the vibrant display in complete and utter silence Ozpin/Oscar: "I have seen many amazing things in my life. But this...this takes the fucking cake." end flashback Blake: "It was the first we'd ever heard the professor swear, too, so that just tells you how crazy it was." Yang: almost laughter "And then Raven convinced Qrow that Ozpin fucked the first Maidens." Qrow: "Hey! It was to be expected!" Raven: grossed out "That ain't happening." Ozpin/Oscar: "I wasn't inviting." Jaune: "Nora found a new enemy. One that would keep her occupied for the rest of our time here." flashback Nora: "FOR FAR TOO LONG, WE HAVE BEEN OPPRESSED! CRUSHED UNDER THE WEIGHT OF OURSELVES! IF WE DON'T START STANDING UP TO OUR MORTAL FOE, GRAVITY, THEN WHO WILL?!" nearby Oscar/Ozpin: "Are we really going to let them do this?" Qrow: "What the kid said." Raven: amused "Why not see where it goes?" later Nora: "CHAAARRRRGGGEEEE!" Raven: drives everyone into the ocean end flashback Nora: glares at Raven Raven: unperturbed "I told you I couldn't drive." Jaune: annoyed "But that just meant that team RWBY both had the tactical advantage in amount of people and equipment." flashback Nora: "Gentlemen, we simply cannot allow team RWBY to have superiority over us! WE MUST TAKE THE FIGHT TO THEM!" Jaune: "Oh, Remnant Christ." end flashback Blake: "It made us realize that this whole Team RWBYNPR thing wasn't going to work, so we attempted trying to use forms of government to decide the leader..." Ozpin/Oscar: "Oh. Qrow, Raven, and I weren't there, actually. Did it go well?" RWBYNPR: looks at each other flashback Yang: "I vote Anarchy." Blake: sharp sigh "You can't vote Anarchy, you dumbass." Nora: "MONARCHY!" flexes with Magnhild in hand "The one wielding the gigantic hammer is worthy!" Weiss: "Plutocracy." Yang: "Huh?" Blake: sighs Plutocracy is a form of government where it is indebted to and/or controlled by the rich. It can transform any other kind of government into a plutocratic version of itself if the rich come to power." Ruby: "Technocracy." Yang: "What?" Blake: sighs "Technocracy is a form of government where those of knowledge - like weapon engineers, for example - would lead the government in lieu of politicians and businessmen." Yang: "Oh!" Ren: "Timocracy." Yang: "Not to sound like a broken record, buuuuu-" Blake: sighs "Rule by the worthy." Jaune: "Patriarchy." Yang: looks at Blake "That's obvious." Nora: "OOO! I know! How about Malarkey?!" Blake: "Nora, that's actually not a form of government. It just means meaningless talk and nonsense." Everyone: silently stares at one another   end flashback   Blake: looks at Ozpin/Oscar "Malarkey won." Nora: comes back "Oh, yeah. Everyone thought I was dead just because they couldn't find me." Raven: "Turns out, she was just..." trips over words a bit "...sk-skinny dipping." Blake: "And then Ruby, out of a prank, decided to spike my meal with some of her damn mushrookies!" Yang: in bliss "I'm so proud of her!" flashback Blake: randomly teleporting "HO" snap "LY" snap "FUCK" snap "ING" snap "SHIT!" Nora: in the distance "Has anyone seen my tanning oil?! I accidentally put on some of Blake's lube instead!" Ren: "NORA! CLOTHES! We have guests!" Raven: crashes vehicle "I CAN'T FUCKING GET IT!" end flashback Blake: "So...here we are." Jaune: "It's been awful!" lamenting "Instead of a peaceful retirement, it's just the SAME damn SHIT, with the SAME DAMN PEOPLE!"

[johnsonandcoulson]

Here you have the list of prompts! We put together all your great submissions plus a bunch of nonsense we came up with, so hopefully it’ll manage to get the Cousy creative juices flowing~

As we mentioned, feel free to grab any prompt, or a bunch, or all of them, mix them up as you wish and write/make something with them. We’re planning to keep this going for all of August, so if at any point you want to send us some more prompts, please do! We’ll just post the ask under this tag.

Please remember to tag your posts as #cousyinspace (plus any other pertinent tag of course) so we can reblog your amazing work! The prompts are under the read more, so go ahead and bookmark, like and/or reblog this post for your convenience. THANKS SO MUCH, AND HAVE FUN! ♥ ♥ ♥

bureaucracies are the same everywhere in the galaxy (and we know how Daisy feels about those)

accidentally space married

Daisy and Phil steal a spaceship!!

universal library (for our darling space nerds)

Trapped in escape pod

Space Oddity by David Bowie

Coulson can find Daisy because of their "connection"

virtual market

Space Gladiator Quake!

Daisy tells Coulson about the time she dreamed about the two of them being the last people on Earth

weightless

Safehouse on Dark side of the moon

A Spaceman Came Travelling

Daisy and Phil find out more about Daisy's Inhuman origins while in space. Maybe they encounter some Kree?

Space station

After coming back from space our duo reminisce while looking at the starry sky while sitting in Lola, bonus Daisy tries to impress Coulson with her space knowledge

meeting telepath/empath aliens who reveal too much

Coulson as a damsel space princess who gets Sleeping Beautied or Rapunzeled etc and needs to be rescued

room escape (space version)

Phillip Coulson, A Princess Of Mars 

Coulson seduces Daisy no gravity a bonus

Ground Control by All Time Low

Daisy and Coulson are sent to retrieve an object from an alien "Forbidden Zone"

Space prison break

Daisy joking about 'Boldly Going' with Coulson

alien beach

One catching other eating cake in space

Daisy & Phil dress up as Han Solo and gold bikini Leia respectively :)

space pirates

tides in the universe

awkward decontamination shower moment leads to not-so-awkward making out

An alien (Inhuman?) prince wants to marry Daisy for diplomatic reasons. Daisy seems to consider it seriously (it's not like she's ever getting married or finding love anyway). Coulson feels conflicted ;P

"ships that pass in the night"

Walking on the Mood by The Police

stranded

"who knew so many space foods were human aphrodisiacs?"

interspecies romance

Star Wars references

Daisy as a foretold chosen one princess who rejects royalty and teams up with the locals to bring down space fascists

space walk

Proving to each other they arent Skrulls

stars

Getting back to Earth is going to cost some money. Daisy finally gets to tick "robbing a casino" off her list - a casino in space! 

universe-in-a-bottle

Blade Runner mood

[destielhiseyesopened]

GISHWHES Pregnancy Advice

Item #181: Let’s see a (SFW) 2,000 word essay published on twitter in 140 character bursts. (no attachments, etc.) about the best way to get pregnant for the 10th time. (I’m sorry, but I promised someone this would be an item.)

Read on Twitter

So you want to have another baby. Splendid! Most people stop after six or seven, but you my friend are not most people. Not content with enough kids to merely fill a baseball team, you're kicking it up a notch and having enough to use as pins in ten-pin bowling! (Note: actually throwing bowling balls at your children is frowned upon, and is illegal in many jurisdictions.)

Trying to conceive for a tenth time has many unique challenges that you may not have faced during your first nine pregnancies. But heed this friendly advice, and you'll be well on your way to welcoming a bouncing bundle of joy. Again.

First, a few considerations for before you start trying to become pregnant. Before you start your attempt for number ten, it's very important that you discontinue using birth control. While it's true that some people manage to conceive despite using birth control, it's an enormous hindrance in the vast number of cases.

Now is a good time to start taking a folic acid dietary supplement to help prevent neural tube defects in your future baby. This does not apply to all acids, however. Practice extreme caution in ingesting acids, and only consume the ones which are healthy dietary substances. Amino acids are recommended for daily consumption. Hydroxylic acid is highly beneficial and should be drank as necessary to remain hydrated. Hydrochloric acid and sulfuric acid, on the other hand, are extremely dangerous and should under no circumstances by consumed by anyone trying to become pregnant, or anyone trying to remain alive.

Be sure to choose an OBGYN you feel comfortable with, as this will become an important relationship through your pregnancy. You will see your OBGYN very often to ensure that you and your growing child are healthy.

Let's review some of the basics that apply to conceiving any pregnancy, not just the double-digits attempts. As with your previous pregnancies, this one will begin shortly after you and your partner do a little mattress mambo together. Your body will not spontaneously become pregnant without your partner's cooperation: a pregnancy always requires a contribution from both parents, whether it's the first or the fiftieth.

A few simple considerations can help your partner maximize his “contribution” (so to speak). First, he should be wearing boxer shorts instead of briefs. Sperm develop best at a temperature slightly lower than body temperature, which is why the testicles dangle slightly away from the rest of the body in the first place. Scrunching them right up next to the body, therefore, kind of defeats the purpose of this little evolutionary strategy. Similarly, he should avoid hot tubs, saunas, and other scenarios that would expose his little swimmers to unusually high levels of heat. Also, you may want your partner to temporarily change his diet if he happens to be in the habit of eating copious amounts of soy products, because the phytoestrogens in soy can interfere with sperm production. Assure him that he can go back to scarfing down tofu and edamame after you successfully conceive baby number ten. He doesn't need to avoid soy for the duration of the pregnancy, just for the process of initiating it.

When you're scheduling your evening (or morning, or midday) activities for the week, keep in mind that you don't need to do the deed every single day. Sperm can live for several days inside your reproductive tract, so getting it on every two or three days is sufficient. If you prefer more often then by all means have at it, but don't feel bad about going out to a movie instead from time to time.

Generally, the best time to conceive is at the midpoint between one menstrual period and the next, but cycles are not always regular so there is no guarantee at any point of the cycle. Women have even become pregnant from doing the nasty during their menstrual period! Some guides will say that the best day to conceive is fourteen days after the last menstrual period, but knowing your own body is more reliable than trying to follow one-size-fits-all “rules”.

Most women do not need to carefully track their ovulation in order to get pregnant, but if you're having difficulty or want the piece of mind, there are tests to tell you when you're ovulating. These tests use hormones in your urine (much like pregnancy tests) to determine when you're ovulating. Some women also track their basal body temperature, looking for a slight increase that indicates ovulation has occurred.

But what about couples who are using in-vitro fertilization? Well in that case, your embryo may well be ready and waiting for you already! In many cases, IVF produces more embryos than are ultimately used. So if you used IVF for your previous pregnancies, there's a good chance that you have extra embryos in cold storage, which just need to be thawed out and transferred into your uterus. If not though, or if this is your first time using IVF, you'll have to make more. This is decidedly less fun than making them the unassisted way, but the end result will be the same: your tenth adorable little munchkin.

So those are the ways in which conceiving your tenth pregnancy are the same as the previous nine. But what about how the double-digits differ? It's a little known fact that there are, in fact, a great many differences between the first nine pregnancies and the subsequent ones.

One aspect that becomes very important from the tenth pregnancy onward is position. No, none of that “man on top for a boy, woman on top for a girl” nonsense. That's purely an old wives' tale. The positions that aid in conception are decidedly more acrobatic in nature than what you may be used to. Try doing the deed while balancing on a high wire, or while swinging from a flying trapeze. The more adventurous among you may wish to incorporate other circus elements into your lovemaking routine. Get jiggy with it atop a trained elephant. Have a friend throw knives at you while you're in the act (assuming your friend is a highly trained knife-thrower, that is). If you want to get really freaky, invite several friends to join you inside a clown car. The atmosphere of childlike wonder that a circus instills will surely give you an edge in creating another child wonder of your very own.

Naturally, it can be difficult to get in the mood when you've spent all day chasing around your first nine kids. Wiping runny noses and washing jam-covered hands are hardly aphrodisiacs. After a long day of potty-training your toddler and a long evening of helping the grade-schoolers with their homework, it's understandable that you may not have much interest in doing the horizontal mambo. But fear not, for there are a plentitude of ways to spice things up in the bedroom! While your partner is tucking the last of the ankle-biters into bed, try browsing the internet for some erotic fanfiction starring your favorite fictional characters. No matter what fandoms you're into, there's guaranteed to be some nice filthy smut out there to get your engine revving. You can even take things further by cosplaying the characters and acting out your favorite scenes. Don't worry if you've never cosplayed before. It can be as simple as putting on a flannel shirt or a trench coat!

A word or caution, however, about food-based aphrodisiacs. While you may be tempted to serve nothing but oysters and asparagus, this is counter-indicated in efforts to have a tenth baby or beyond. Make no mistake, they are still as effective as ever. But that's exactly the problem: the last thing you need right now is to accidentally encourage your teenagers to hop into bed with their high school sweethearts. You're trying to make your tenth child, not your first grandchild! So reserve the sexy-making foods for date night, and keep them off of the dinner table the rest of the week.

Another aspect that is more important than it was for previous pregnancies is the location where you try to conceive. The bedroom may have served you well up until now, but it has reached the point of diminishing returns. Your reproductive tract is getting bored, frankly, and needs some variety to kick-start it back into action. This is the perfect time to add some excitement back into your love life. Take a romantic vacation to Venice and bribe a gondolier to let you make private use of his boat. Alternatively, go to Paris and bribe a night guard at the Louvre to let you do the deed under the watchful eye of the Venus de Milo. Or stay closer to home and get frisky in the ferris wheel while the kids ride the carousel below. For the hardcore adrenaline junkies out there, sneak into your local zoo after hours to knock boots in the tiger enclosure.

An additional element of the surrounding environment that can have an effect on your odds of conceiving is the soundtrack. It is said that listening to Mozart can enhance a baby's brain power, and the same goes for sperm. Classical music helps sperm to swim faster and in the right direction. You'd be shocked at how many sperm make a wrong turn after conventional intercourse, and end up in the spleen or left brachial plexus instead of finding their way to the fallopian tube where the egg is lurking, waiting to reel them in. Therefore, to maximize your chances of conception, consider hiring a string quartet to perform for twenty to thirty minutes after coitus. If it's out of your budget to hire a live string quartet to play Mozart, blasting “Rock Me Amadeus” by Falco on loop is an acceptable alternative.

Seeing any rabbits hop through your back yard is an auspicious sign, given their prodigious breeding rate. If they linger before moving along, feel free to ask them for advice in growing your own litter. Approach slowly, holding out offerings of carrots and alfalfa, and be extra careful to be respectful at all times. It's a little known fact that rabbits get their immense fertility by siphoning off bits of fertility from other animals, and if you upset the rabbit it may decide to punish you by stealing a heaping portion of yours. On the other hand, if your heart is pure and your offerings are worthy, the rabbit may bless you by sharing a portion of its own fertility instead.

If all else fails, don't be afraid to turn to witchcraft. Once relegated to the fringes, witchcraft is gaining more and more popularity these days. For best results, find a wizened old crone who lives in a hut on the edge of a swamp and ask her to make you an enchanted fertility amulet. Alternatively, she may offer you a mysterious blend of herbs to brew up a tea that has a putrid smell but, surprisingly, doesn't taste half bad. You can also cast your own spells, right from home, using common household items such as salt, a broomstick (traditional or Swiffer Wet Jet®), assorted herbs, and several dozen crystal obelisks. Instructions for using these ingredients can be found in a beginning spell book from any occult book store.

So now you know everything you could possibly need to know to be successful in your quest to bring yet another precious little goblin into the world. But as you well know, having done this nine times already, this is just the first step in a much longer journey. There's a name to pick out, a nursery to re-paint, diaper company stock to invest in, and so much more to do between now and the birth of the newest member of your family. So for now, before the kids come home from school and the daily cacophony begins again, take a moment to relax. Have one last glass of wine before you have to swear off it for another nine months. Then take a deep breath, and get procreating!

[lillaxtrigger]

Young hope: Chapter 20

Along the rough surface of a thin plank of wood, a metal nail is repeatedly driven deeper into the sheet by an ordinary hammer; the tools hard iron soon pounding upon a thumb holding the nail in place. Withdrawing her pinching grip back from the wood and nail, an orange haired girl curses out upon her accidentally self inflicted injury. “God dammit!” “You alright there, Mally?” Standing beside her be a young farm girl with a surprising hulking figure, looking down upon the small skater with concern and worry. “Yeah Bluebell, I’m fine. Just not used to working with tools is all. This stunt girl wasn’t raised to be a handywoman.” “Think ya might be more comfortable working on the gardens?” “Nah. Think your sisters got that covered.”

Looking away from their project, both gaze towards the garden along the corner in progress; a darling blonde tilling the dirt bed with a hoe in her hands. A short breath leaves her lungs before being joined by a short, orange haired lass garbed in a pink dress; a packet of seeds held in the little girls grip. “I got the seeds you asked for Persi. Are they the right ones this time?” she questions. Taking the packet from the girls grasp, the bubbly blonde looks closely at its label; a small click leaving her lips. “Tsk, sorry Chrissy; I asked for the onion seeds. You wound up grabbing the garlic ones instead.” “Ahh! Again!? Sorry sis. Always keep mixing those two up. I’ll go get the right ones.” Rushing out from the garden, the little girl hears a piece of advice shouted by her big sister: “Just make sure you read the labels next time!”

Watching as Chrissy frolics back inside, Mally takes a glance back towards the half finished garden. “Your little veggie garden there’s looking pretty great so far.” she compliments. “Thanks. Hoping to convert this whole backyard here into a little farm. Already picturing where we’ll set up stuff.” Pointing back towards the garden, Bluebell explains how: “Obviously, we’ll have the garden right along the corner over there. The elevated ground is perfect for the crops to grow.” Her finger than trails off along the fence, halting near the other side where a couple of oak tree’s stood beyond the fencing and adding how: “Gonna build the sheep pen around there somewhere. Hoping the trees there will give em plenty of shade.” The farm girl then retracts her point back, pointing to where they stand and continuing with: “Planning on pitching the pig pen here. Lower ground will make plenty of mud for them to play in.” Her pointing trail finally ends near the house, where Bluebell explains that: “Finally, we’re wantin to set up the chicken coop near the house. That way, we don’t have to go far when carry baskets full of eggs. Least, that how I’m wantin to set up our little farm.” “Didn’t you mention something about having a farm back in Farmsville? Why are you aiming to set up another one out in the suburbs?” her guest can’t help but question. “See, our mom wished to move back into town so we’d spare time on going to and from school. But, we still want somethin to make us feel right at home; so we figured to just make a mini farm right in our little backyard. Why not? Plus, it’d probably save us a ton of bucks on eggs and vegetables. You’ve seen how crazy expensive produce is around here?”

Echoing to their side, the pair hear the sound of clacking wood; glancing over to see the blue boy approaching the back of the fence with bunches of long wooden stakes under his arms. In a single bound, the indigo haired angel leaps over the chain link fencing secluding the backyard. “Hey uh, where exactly you want me to set these.” he questions. “Back of the fence is fine, thanks.” Bluebell suggest. As the angel sets the planks leaning upon the fence, the chilling breeze of falls frozen breath blows across the backyard; the chilled air causing Tore to shiver. Feeling Jack frosts signature calling card brush past; a curious question sprouts out from his consciousness. “I-I don’t get it. Why are you guys setting up your farm up when winters banging on your door like a furious tax collector? Don’t plants die out in the freezing cold?” Answering his question be the bubbly blonde towards his right, explaining that: “That why we want to get’em in the ground as fast as we can.” Digging her hoe through the ground, Persi tills over the soil as she continues with: “Best to plant them now before the ground freezes over and the snow blankets the ground.” “Why the hell would she do that?” a familiar voice pushes.

A fair way from the blondes abode, Raleigh travels towards the home with another young man; both garbed in light fall attire to coat them from the cold. He continues his burning question addressed to the blonde boy beside him with: “Why would she want us to come over to help out on a farm that’s gonna die in the middle of winter? It makes no fucking sense.” “Might seems like nonsense to you. Make perfect sense to me.” the other boy remark in a southern drawl. “Tsk, of course it does.” “See, some vegetables can sustain themselves underground during the winter, sometimes even prosper and multiply like rabbits with aphrodisiacs in their drinking water. Crops like carrots, peas, onion and garlic can fight through winters icy embrace and grow, ready to be harvested just in time for spring.” “Not surprise that a country bumpkin like you would know about shit like that.” Raleigh jeers. “Course I do, city boy. I’ve got me over 10 years worth of farming metal under my belt. What’s a city slicker like you got to bring on the table?” “Have you really been on a farm for a whole decade?” Tore wonders.

Along the porch of Persi’s backyard, everyone was enjoying fresh cups of hot cocoa; the steam rising out from their cups blowing with the soft winds. The blue boy sips on the delectable chocolate his cup has to offer while Persi confirms his question with: “You bet! Moved over to the Canadian countryside right when a was around 6 and spent 10 long years helping my daddy out on his farm; teaching me everything he knew about farming, gardening, and tending to farm animals. I hope this mini farm we’re building here will be half as good as the one back then.” “A nuclear meltdown in a neighboring town couple years ago urged our mom to move back down the country and in Townsville. Eventually Pop’s caved and packed up. Driving all of his farm animals across the border and setting up shop over in Farmsville. We’ve been back in town for, want to say, over half a year now and he’s just now raking in some profits off his harvests. More than we made back in Canada actually.” Bluebell adds. “We’ve only been here around a month now. Moving down from Canada too, funnily enough. Mom said something it being about our dads job, but that’s really all she gave us.” Mally chimes in. Hearing mention of their father makes her brother look away, taking another sip of his warm mug of liquid chocolate.

Taking a sip of her own cocoa, the skaters eyes trail off to the side; soon taking notice of the pink dressed little girls eyes staring upon her with a charmed glimmer. “Uh, hey...Chrissy, right? Something...ya see something on me or what?” Upon her words does the little girl before her suddenly fluster, looking away from the skater as her face blushes brightly. “Mmmn...You, uh...You have very pretty hair.” Running her hand through her own long, but kinda messy strands of hair, Mally responds by thanking her with: “Oh, uh...thanks. It’s not really anything that special. I mean it does get kinda messy when I pop off my helmet, but other then that its-” “Will you go out with me!?” the little girl blurts out from the blue. Hearing this takes Mally aback, spitting out whatever cocoa she was sipping. “Whoa whoa whoa! What!?” “Chrysanthemum Rodgers! How many time do I have to get after ya for asking somebody out from the blue like that; especially somebody you just met. You know better.” “Uh, yeah. Beside, age gap might be a bit big between us. Sorry kid.” Glancing back towards the girl garbed in pink, she witnesses the girls spirit beginning to break before her eyes; the light of her welling tears reflecting the fall sun. “But, uh...Ya- ya know something kid?” From the wood of their porch, Chrissy shifts her gloomy gaze back to the skater; hearing her finish with: “There isn’t anything stopping you from asking again in about 10 years or so.” Hearing this almost immediately makes the little girls disappointment do a 180; her gaze shining brightly as she frolics back inside. Looking back to one another after the brief encounter of sudden confession, Mally and Bluebell can’t help but let out a light giggle.

Her giggling dying down, Bluebell can’t help but hear her older sister say out loud: “There you two are!” Turning her gaze towards the entrance of their backyard, she finds her leading in a pair of teenage boys inside. “Yo Persi...sup?” Raleigh smoothly greets. “Afternoon there, Miss Rodgers.” the cowboy endearingly greets. The middle sister approaches the entering duo; looking down upon the one in the beanie with a distrusting glare as she asks aloud: “So, Sis. This the guys that cousin Cayenne says keeps failing to hit on ya?” The boys surprise gaze turns sour upon her remark; turning away as a soft scoff passes through his lips. “Yep, this is Raleigh. He’s really super nice, offering to do all kinds of stuff for me.” The other boy then cuts in, introducing himself as he shakes her hand with: “Afternoon Ms. Bluebell. Last I saw ya, you were as small as a sprout. Gotta say, you grew taller than a beanstalk in a children’s fairy tale.” “Uh, thanks? How do you reckon ya know me.” she wonders withdrawing her hand. “Shoot, guess it has been a while, hasn’t it? Should’ve figured you wouldn’t have recognize me. Last time I saw ya, you were only three years old.” “Don’t ya remember Bluebell? This the friend that I told you about. The one that I had before we move up the country?” “Hang on a sec...You’re Levi?” Bluebell questions. “Eager to meet ya ma’am.” the cowboy introduces.

“I thought I’d invite both of them over so they could help us out with the farm. Sound great, doesn’t it?” “Yeah, figured I got the time. So what the hell, why not?” the city slicker explains. “Well, I’m more then happy to help a friend out.” Levi mentions. “Nnnnh…I ain’t too sure about this Persi.” Bluebell worries. “Oh come on, B.B. You brought over Mally and her brother and they’ve been loads of help.” Persi’s points out, presenting the blue boy sitting over on the porch steps. In his attempt to warm himself, Tore attempts chug the hot chocolate down all at once; lifting the mug up as high as he can. Unsurprisingly, this fails to end well, as the boy winds up burn his whole mouth. “Ah! My mouth!”

“Besides; I bet with their help, will get it done before the sun even starts to set.” Turning towards her two guests, the bubbly blonde proceeds to enthusiastically ask: “What’dya say boys. Ready to get down and dirty?” “Oh yeah.” Raleigh suggestively states. “I’d be more than happy too.” Levi declares. Toward the blondes carefree attitude, the middle sister can’t help but let out an anxious groan under her breath.

“What are so worried about?” Mally wonders. Both her and the hulking middle sibling pound their hammers upon the wooden plank to hold the wire frame of the chicken coop in place. “Like your sis said: We’ll get all this done faster with more cooks in the kitchen.” “That ain’t what I’m really worried about. Just on edge about who she invited over is all. Persi doesn’t exactly have the best judge of character when it come to strangers. Levi I can look past. She’s know him before I was even born. But that Raleigh fella is another tale to tell. Like I said, we’ve only around these parts for like six months or so. Most people around here are relatively new to us. I just don’t want my sister to wind up riding with wrong crowd is all.” “C’mon Bluebell. Ya got have more faith in your sister than that. The bonds that she forges with others is her own responsibility, and I’m sure she knows that. If she doesn’t go out and meet all kinds of people, how else will she grow?” To all that, the hulking middle sibling can do not but look down in concern; know all too well her words be true. Though her statement does little to expel the worry within her, something that Mally can clearly see. “Hey, even if those two do wind up being a couple of assholes, ya got Tore and I here to kick their asses off your property.” she offers, punching her fist in her palm. This seems to uplift the cowgirl a bit, looking back towards her guest and thanking her with a simple: Thanks Mal.” “No prob, B.B.”

Returning swiftly to work, the skater instantly hits her hammer upon her thumb once more; the pain causing her to curse aloud. “Fuck!” “You alright?” “Yeah, just bashed my thumb again. God! Wish there was some way to this done faster.” “You’ll wind up hurtin yourself hurrying like that. Gotta go slow and steady with this. It ain’t no contest.”

Though disappointed, the skater slowly drifts back towards hammering the frame on; the pain of her thumb slowly starting to fade. Mally’s attention is swiftly baited however when hearing the sound of kicking hay, turning towards the other side of the backyard and witness Raleigh juggling the bails of hay up in the air. One by one does the city slicker kick the bails up high, soon setting his sites towards the edge of the fencing. As the bails drop down, Raleigh kicks the hay out towards the end of the backyard; stacking them all in a perfectly balanced tower in one fell swoop. “That good for ya, babe?” he asks, his eyes gazing towards the bubbly blonde. “That’s amazing. You stacked them so high so fast. I bet the sheep will just love it there. Snacking on the bails of hay while in the shade. It’ll be like a little vacation for them.” Hearing these compliments coming from Persi, a little slick smile peeks between the city boys cheeks. That smile swiftly dissolves upon hearing the sarcastic call of her other guest. “That’s cute.”

Glancing over, his sites turn towards the blonde cowboy standing beside the garden. “You got a problem with how I stack things, cowboy?” Raleigh questions him. “Not really. I’d say your little juggling act wasn’t that bad. Had a little bit of flair to it really.” With this compliment does Levi start to wonder to the plow set towards a line of of grassy ground. “Though flair ain’t gonna get ya far in the farm. The true spirit of the farmer...” The cow boys takes a tight hold of the plows handle with both hand, finishing his statement with: “Is in the soil of the earth!” Effortlessly, the cowboy pushes through the grounds before him; uprooting the grass covered earth and uncovering the fertile soil buried underneath. Levi’s might makes way for a whole row of agricultural potential to flourish, adding another row to Persi’s growing garden. The bubbly blonde herself approaches the new column of fresh soil, complimenting the cowboys efforts with: “Goodness Levi, you cleared a whole row of grass in no time flat. With you helping us, we might get the garden ready super fast. Just imagine all the vegetables we’ll grow here.” “Yep. That’s what years of hard farming labor will grant ya. Molded me like an expert sculpture with the pick of agriculture.” This display of earthly strength makes a small growl escape from between the city boys teeth; gazing upon the cowboy with a burning bitterness.

The darkness of a passing shadow below however draws everyone’s attention above. gazing up towards the sky to find a figure eclipsing the sun; a square haul over their back. Like a descending meteor, the figure quickly begins to plummet towards the backyard; the darkness pulling back and revealing the figures flowing blue hair. Upon the ground does the angel land, his heavy descent quaking the very earth beneath his feet. The haul he holds above his head revealing to be dozens upon dozen of wooden planks and stakes tied together; the blue boy setting the load of wood aside to shiver from head to toe from his flight through the cold fall skies. “Oh god. You guys know how fricken cold it is up there? Practically about to freeze my hide off. Need something to warm me up fast. The bubbly blonde comes to his side with a steaming cup of cocoa, offering the warmth of her drink with: “You can have my cup of cocoa. It’s still-” Upon the offer does Tore instantly swipe the hot chocolate from Persi’s grasp. “Warm?” The blue boy pours the blondes drink right into his awaiting mouth; drizzles of cocoa dripping down his chin as he gurgles down the warming elixir. Finished downing her drink like guzzling alcoholic, a relieving breath escape from his lungs; adding how her drink was: “Ahhh...so scaldingly good...” Persi’s attention then turn towards the pile of wood the boy had been carrying, brushing her hand against its course surface. “Did you really carry all this wood yourself?” “Yeah...Your mom told me to get some more wood from the depot on the other side of town...” From the depth of his white coat pocket, the blue boy pulls out a credit card with a bubbly background; handing the card towards Persi and requesting: “Can you give her credit card back for me.” Taking her mothers card back from the blue boy, she looks back to the load with a bubbling excitement, mentioning how: “This is amazing. All these thick stakes are perfect for setting up the pens.”

Declaring this, Persi runs back inside with the credit card in hand; Tore looking over in his relief to find the other two boys approaching. Trailing the stack of wood with his leather gloved hands, the cowboys wonders if: “You really carry all by your lonesome?” “Sure did. It wasn’t really that hard to carry them here to be honest. Now flying them through the freezing fall air? Oh boy, that’s a whole nother tale to tell.” “Pfft. I bet it ain’t that heavy. What is this, fucking birch?” Raleigh denies. “Afraid this ain’t no birch. This is the real heavy duty stuff. 100% genuine oak.” Levi hesitantly corrects. Upon the cowboys word does the city slicker scoff at the claim; boasting how: “Big fucking whoop. That ain’t nothing. Should’ve seen the time I juggled a whole bunch of logs back towards a campfire, while they were on fire.” “Whoa, you really did that?” Tore wonders. “You bet your ass. Ain’t no way you two candy-ass bitches could’ve handled the flames?” “Oh really? Betting any of you couldn’t handle a day on the farm. Standing all day in the sun plowing the fields, feeding the livestock, tilling the land. Neither of you can hope to stand a single day of all that hard work.” Levi boasts. “Think any of that compares to a day on the streets? Fighting off gangs, racing through the highway, jumping through the alleyways. The city life would eat you two alive!” These claims spark heated discourse between both Levi and Raleigh, trying to outmatch one another struggles, all the while the Tore sits right in the middle; ever so lost in his own curious thoughts.

Off to the wayside do both Bluebell and Mally watch as the boys make asses of themselves, hearing their metaphorical dick measuring contest from where they stand. The farm girl can’t help let out a tired groan and pinch her nose from the ordeal; admitting that: “I knew this was a bad idea.” From the echos of their argument does an idea pop into the skaters head, a sharp gasp drawing within her lungs. “Bluebell, Bluebell, B.B. Bobby, Blabby, Blah Blah, Bloobby, Baba.” Mally babbles repeatly tapping on the farm girls shoulders. “What? What? What?” Bluebell herself exclaims. “I just came up with the most brilliant idea. You know how we can get this whole farm done in a snap and get the boys to stop taking stabs at each other?” “With good old fashioned hard work?” “Ha ha. No.” Before the farm girl could get her guest to elaborate further, Mally zooms towards the arguing duo.

“Well you can shove that attitude right up your-” Levi nearly insult, but his interrupted by an overly loud fake cough. To their side was the orange hair skater herself, her blue haired brother speaking between the duo. “Hey Mally, Watcha doing?” “Good afternoon, gents. I couldn’t help but overhear your shit slinging argument from across the backyard and have come up with a way to prove who has the bigger balls.” “And how you figure that, huh?” Raleigh wonders, all three of the boys attention locked upon the skater. “We enact...A farming Olympics!” Nothing but dead silents drifts among the trio, the only word to break up the quite being the blue boys: “...What?” “An agricultural bout to test their metal against one another through the art of planting, building, and feeding. Through these trails will the best be determined and the winner stand atop the rest.” Mally announces, recklessly twirling a shovel in her hands. The shovels hard iron end eventually clonks her on the noggin, the skater rubbing her head upon the place of impact. “Oh wee! Now yer speaking my language. This is gonna be easier than leading a flock of chickens to a pile of feed.” Levi boasts. “Oh hell no. You ain’t winning a damn thing. Once I kick your ass at yer own game, you ain’t gonna talk shit bout me again.” Raleigh counters. In that moment does the blue boy come between the bickering duo, begging his sister to: “Can I compete!? Can I compete!? Can I compete!? Please!?” “All three of you shall get the chance to compete. Just give us a moment to prepare.”

Upon turning away from the trio is Mally instantly met with Bluebells disapproving glare. A moment of silence is shared between the two before the skater breaks the quite with: “...What?” “What do ya think yer doing?” “Bluebell, relax. I got this. Think of it this way. This whole olympics’ll keep them from screaming at each other like a couple of kids with the same crush and get a ton of work done at the same time. Practically killing two birds with one shotgun shell.” “Mally, this sounds dishonest.” “What? How in the hell am I being dishonest? I’ll have you know that a single lie hasn’t pasted my lips.” “Yer manipulatin those boys into doing all our work for us.” “Manipulation? Bluebell. There is no hint of the such to be had. I’m just proposing a simple contest of agriculture in the name of goods sportsmanship.” “Yeah, sis. Lighten up?” From their side does the bubbly blonde chime in, adding to the discussion that: “I think it sound fun. It’ll give a chance to settle thing between the boys.” A defeated sigh escapes from the hulking farm girls lungs; soon walking away as she admits: “Fine, have yer little contest. Just leave me outta it.”

The boys meanwhile patiently await for their agricultural competition to be built, all the while mingling among themselves to pass the time. “So you and Persi really go that far back?” the blue boy wonders. “Yep, known each other since we were little tikes. Always playing together in the mud n dirt like a couple of wild hogs in a muddy rainstorm.” Levi explains. “Sounds like you two were really close.” “Yep. Its been so long since those days. A lot has changed since then.” “She ain’t the little girl you once knew anymore. She’s grown into a fine, sexy young woman.” Raleigh slyly adds. “Course, that don’t mean I haven’t changed myself. The merciless hardships of the earth have molded me into the man I am today.” Levi brags. “Hey, you ain’t the only one that’s been through shit. I’ve gotten into plenty of scraps and street fight. Been through all kinds of drag races and wrecks. The fires of the streets made me who I am.” Raleigh gloats. “What about you, blue boy. What’s yer story?” the cowboy asks Tore. The blue angel ponders for a moment upon the cowboys questions, attempting to answer with: “Guess I haven’t really thought of something like that. Only thing that comes to mind is the time I stayed with my grandma for the summer when I was...8? See, she would normally-” “Hey boys.” Before he could explain further, the sound of the bubbly blonde baits their attention from the side; glancing over to find Persi waving towards the three. “We got the events all set up.  Come to the back yard and see.”

“Gentlemen, I’m proud to present to you today, the trails that you shall face.” Mally announces, showing the set pieces making up the events. A set of three shovels set at the end of three lines beside the garden. Three piles of wooden stakes set along the chain link fence. Large sheets of wood set against the unfinished chicken coop. On the other side of the backyard set three cage, each within them different kinds of common barnyard livestock. A drove of oinking pigs. A brood of clucking chickens. And a herd of fluffy sheep. “These seemingly simple tasks will determine the results of these agricultural games. Completing these events the swiftest shall reward you with a single tally to your score. Whoever rises with the most events won shall be declare the king of cultivation! So without further ado. Let these games of earthen labor begin!” All three of the gents rush out towards the set pieces, the announcer herself leaning against the side of the house; the perturbed farm girl standing aside her. “Mal, I’m telling ya, this won’t end well.” “B.B. Will you just chill. I got this.”

The trio prepare for the first event, taking their positions upon the end of the planned columns of soil. Shovel in hand, Raleigh begins to dig straight into the soil; a struggle that only manages to get him only mere inches at a time. The hard fall ground fails to make the task any easier, the city boy having to stomp on the back of his shovel several times before piercing into the dirt. His slow paced dig is soon interrupted, clumps of airborne soil smacking against his figure. The hell! Which one of these assholes is flinging dirt through the air? Gazing towards the direction of the flung dirt, Raleigh witnesses the blue boy digging through the earth with his bare hands. He was seriously digging in the dirt like a motherfucking dog. Jeez man, shovels right there. Doesn’t even look like its helping that much either, barely getting deep into the dirt.

Curious about his rivals own endeavors, Raleigh takes a look towards the opposite end and finds the cowboy simply taking a stance towards the row of grassy dirt. He’s seriously just standing there, not even with a shovel on hand. Looking like he’s ready to punch the ground. What the hell’s he expecting to do? To answer the city slickers question, Levi stomps down upon the earth; uncovering the soil from beneath the grass set before him. With the fertile grounds exposed to the open fall air, the cowboy pushes the empty space towards his front; the softened dirt tilling neatly with his motions until the whole row of soil was ready for planting. His grounds complete, Levi presents his finished work with a proud smile; knowing all too well who the winner is. The cowboys rival looks upon his handiwork with burning gaze; the blue boy behind him rising out from the dirt of his own. So that’s the way old John Wayne wants to play, huh? Then this little contest is about to pick up a shit ton of heat.

The next event took place around the chicken coop, where in contrast to the earthbending cowboys quaking feets, Levi opts to simply hammer in his corner of the wooden sheet one nail at a time. Ain’t nothing better then the steadfast strategy, is there? Least it is compared to the whole blue boys plan. Turning towards Tore, the cowboy had a front row seat to his own show of stratagem; the blue angel pounding in the nails with all his might. His methods might prove to be faster, though they can also be quite reckless. Such recklessness taking the form of the blue boy missing the nail entirely and lodge both the hammer and his whole arm right through the wooden sheet; his limb wedged between the splintered wood and wire frame. Ooh boy. Seems like this kid don’t have the best grasp at being gentle, does he. Practically punching through stuff like a maddening steed straight through the barn doors. In one fell swoop, the blue angel jerks his arm out from the other side of the chicken coop wall, tearing out a good chunk of the wood and wire frame with his arm. Except somehow worse.

Shaking his head towards Tore’s screw up, the cowboys ears soon catch the sound of searing flames. That’s funny, kind of sounds like a wieldin torch. Don’t remember seeing one of them with all the tools. Wondering where the sizzling sounds were originating from, Levi trials the noise towards the other end of his wall. He soon finds Raleigh trailing his finger across the gaps in the wood from top to bottom, a faint orange glow emitting from the city slickers fingertip. Realizing what his rival was doing, the cowboy rush towards Raleigh to halt the potential disaster. What in tarnation does that pyromaniac think he’s doin!? Have those flames of his finally cooked his brain worse than a faulty cookout grill with a broken propane tank. Crazy bastard’s gonna wind up burning Persi’s whole backyard! Approaching the city boy however reveals to the paranoid farm boy another scene. Instead of setting the sheet ablaze, Raleigh had wielded the wood together; the scorch line from his flames having melded the two sheets still freshly hot. Looking aside, Levi was met with the blazing city slickers smug ass smile; looking back and forth between him and the results of his work with vexing confusion.

Standing along the corner of the backyard, the next agricultural olympic challenge the boys had been tasked with next was building the animal pens; each of them given a pile of wooden stakes and hammers to work with. Sledge hammer in hand, Raleigh strikes one of the wooden stakes right into the earth; driving its pointed bottom through the dirt. Ready to set up the next plank, he lines it up to the one he hammered in; pushing it down until it was buried enough for balance. Gripping the hammers pole once more, he swings down upon the stake; this time snapping the wood right in half. Inspecting the broken stake, the city slicker looks over towards his southern rival; noticing how he isn’t even using a hammer to drive them into the ground. Not even has to punch them in, just push them straight down. A glance towards Levi’s boot has him discover the cowboy light stomping on the ground where he places each steak, causing the ground under him to have less resistance.

Witnessing this play out makes Raleigh throw away his broken stake in favor of a fresh one. After pushing it down past the grass, the city boy stands before the stake in a fighting stance. Raising his leg over his head, the firebender drops his foot down upon the wood; striking the stake down straight into the earth. Although his alternating hammer does prove effective, it is not without its drawbacks. Drawing his foot off the top of the stake, Raleigh hisses out as he grabs hold of the back of his ankle. In his agony, the city slicker beheld the cowboy staring down upon him with a prideful smirk, Raleigh looking back with a seething glare.

Both rivals break their stare down when they notice a set of straight shadows slide across the grass. Towards the sky do the boys discover a dozen wooden stakes drifting through the air, the blue angel soon joining their flight. Rapidly, Tore slams the stakes back towards the earth, each of them digging straight through the grassy dirt in single jab. In unison do all of them line together, swiftly forming into a crudely made, but functional animal pen. Levi and Raleigh watch as Tore descends from the air, landing right on the edge of the fencing in a finishing pose. The blue boys pose is however suddenly broken when he looses balance; falling right behind the wooden fencing. Both of his opponent are simply left to stare upon the results of his little performance; gazing onward in pure, unfiltered “What the fuck did I just see?”.

Upon the middle of their competition do they reach halftime, Mally and Persi setting up the pieces for the next events; the bubbly blonde middle sibling approaching as they piece together another pen. “Still don’t think what your brewin is a bad idea?” Bluebell questions the skater. “Nope.” “Not worryin how all this competitive mojo might stir up trouble?” “B.B. Will you simply just relax. The Olympics are halfway through. You really think that any bad blood will boil over the last three events?” “Blood’s been split over pettier thing, Mal. The flames of rivalry are a fickle and dangerous force to stoke.” “Bluebell. Quit yer worrying. How much damage can a simple little contest do?” Persi counters with. Against her siblings words, all the tall middle child could do walk away in a huff; wandering back inside their home.

Once the other fence had been completed, halftime dissolves and the competition continues. Released from one of the cages, a dozen barnyard fowl scuttle through the backyard; the chicken coop door left open for them to wonder into. Though his efforts seem eager and merry, the blue angels proves completely ineffective in baiting the hens to his side; attempting to draw their attention like one would a domestic canine. No matter how much he whistles or pats his knees, none of the fowl even take a glance in Tore’s direction; simply choosing to wander away from the boy.

Their little legs soon pick up the pace however, the fiery city slicker chasing right after the flightless little peckers with not a single strategy As much fire he has in him, Raleigh’s shows to be just as fruitless in his endeavors as his indigo opponent, perhaps even more so. In the midst of pursuing, he reaches is arms out towards the nearest fowl as he draws ever closer. Almost got ya you little fucker. Gonna make some tasty tenders outta your feathery ass. His hands mere inches from the fowl, the city boy lunges forth towards his prey; pouncing at the chicken like a predatory cheetah. Alas, his bounding leap yields only a mouthful of dirt; the barnyard poultry fluttering right out from his grab. Faced with the failure of his impatient strategy, a seething growl escapes from between his teeth, That growl is swiftly interrupted upon the descent his unbound prey, landing right onto Raleigh’s head and pecking at his face. Shielding his eyes against the pissed fowls incessant jabs, he swats the chicken right off his noggin; its feathers spread across the top of the city slickers body. Shaking the feathers off his jacket; agitated firebender watches as his escaped pray wanders further away. Fucking piece of chicken shit. Feathered asshole wouldn’t be acting like tough shit if this was a cooking competition.

Gazing towards the free fowl, the city and blue boy soon see it and the rest of the flock drawn towards a trail of feed; the chickens pecking the tiny pieces off the grassy grounds. Trailing the pecks of yellow has them witness the flock baited into the chicken coop; their southern inspired opponent pouring the feed within the freshly made hen house. Once half of his bag of chicken feed had been drain, he puts is bait down and simply waits; leaning on the side of the coop as he watches the flock of barnyard birds within the backyard gather towards the set pile. Picking one of these specks off the ground, the blue boy inspects the piece closely; tasting the little bit of yellow to find it be nothing but a piece of grain. Don’t really know why they’re all going crazy over this stuff. It’s just wheat. Doesn’t even taste that great. And yet, they gobble them down so eagerly, much so in fact that a passing fowl plucks the piece right from the blue boys fingertips. From there does he watch the last of the fowl rush within the chicken coop; the cowboy shutting its hatch once its feathery hide was inside. Having claimed his victory, Levi simply leans in front of the coop with a proud smirk; a single eye aimed towards his rivals. Seeing his texen rival boasting of his success stokes a burning fury within the firebender as he shakes the leftover feathers from his jacket.

While his humble baiting strategy might have worked on such simple creatures as farm fowl, the same routine shows little success with swine; Levi attempting to lure the pigs set along the backyard. Spreading the bag of corn in front of one of them, the cowboy watches patiently as the hog approaches the food set before it. Though with a few sniffs, the pig simply walks away from the corn, not even bothering to taste the treats before it. Dangit. Why in tarnation are these pigs being so picky? Swine ain’t usually known for having such refined taste like an unhappy french critic dining at a Texas buffet. Saw one eat a whole boot off some poor guys leg once for heavens sake. So what the deal with these hogs? With these thoughts brewing, the cowboy takes a look at the kind of feed he was presenting. Wonder what kind of feed Persi wound up gettin? From the look a things, this stuff here don’t look like much. Might need something else to get their little legs kicken.

Pondering what could better catch the swines attention, the cowboys ears pick up the sound of slipping friction; an all too familiar call of the inexperienced hog herder. Following its call leads Levi to witness the blue angel attempting to simply lift the one of the pigs with his bare hands. The matter of weight be not the issue, Tore easily able to pick the pigs off the ground; holding onto the hog on the other hand proves to be another problem entirely. Try as hard as he might to get a good grip of their leathery pig skin, they always find a way to slip from his fingers. In his slippery efforts, the blue boy grabs hold of a whole hog with both arms; hugging the hog like a long beloved relative coming back from the harsh grit of the slammer. As tight as he holds the hog, the barnyard pig easily slips out from his grasp; scuttling away once back upon the earth.

Out towards the side, the city slicker can’t help but observe the results of his opponents failings. The fleeing pig stops before the farm boys spilt bait, taking the time to closely sniff the unscented corn. After taking the biggest whiff that it could, the swine resumes to wander around the backyard. Witnessing this behavior play out sparks an idea within Raleigh mind, soon strolling back towards Persi’s home. Everyone in the backyard watches as the city boy calmly retreats back within the abode, shutting the back door behind him. Upon seeing this, the cowboy can’t help but form a gloating smile between his cheeks. Guessin all this dirty work is just too much for the city slicker to handle, ain’t it? Can’t even handle somethin as simple as herdin pigs. Probably tryin to worm his way out so he don’t stick around when they announce the winner. That or he’s going to go take a piss. Either way.

Moments later, Raleigh comes back out; a steel bowl and a bag of popcorn in hand. All within the backyard eye the city slicker as he wonders out towards the pig pen; the boy himself opening the bag of popcorn as he strolls past Levi. After hopping right over the roughly constructed fencing, the firebender pours the unpopped kernels within the bowl and holds the stainless steel above his head. From its base, the bowls reflective surface glows a fiery shade of orange; a sharp popping noise echoing out from within. The single pop soon multiplies into dozens more; almost sounding like a mini gun unloading its payload. Out from the depths of the bowl, popcorn rises out from beyond its steel rim; threatening to gush out and overflow. The scent of his freshly popped kernels drift through the cold fall air; the hogs spread across the backyard taking quick notice of the alluring smell. Levi and Tore can only watch as the swine race past their legs; trying only to not get caught in the stampede. All at once do the herd of hogs flow in like a stream of spotty pink; crowding around the city slickers legs as he spreads the harvest of his instant popcorn. With the last of the hogs drawn in by the temptation of the common theater snack, Raleigh hops over the hogs and rushes out from their pen. After closing the gate behind him; the city slicker simply leans against the gates wood; a smug ass smirk stretching across his face as a single open eye aims towards Levi. Though rather than finding an aggravated glare, all the cowboy could express was a perplexed gaze. Breaking his relishing smile, Raleigh wonders what the cowboy could find so confusing. Wasn’t really that complex to lure a bunch of pigs with popcorn. He soon finds the answer nudging his leg, looking at his feet and jumping back to find the blue boy crawling along the ground and picking any leftover popcorn out from the grass.

Roaming the bubbly blondes backyard next was her favorite barnyard animal by far; Persi’s eyes alight upon witnessing the flock of sheep wander through her yard. Curious of the blondes overjoyed gaze, Mally waves her hand across the blonde fixed gaze; wondering if she was okay. Her merry glare unchanged, the skater resumes watching the competition; noticing the firebender having a bit of trouble leading one of the wool covered lambs to the pen.

Try as he might push against its woolly coat, the stubborn lamb budges not an inch closer towards the wooden fence; simply opting to stay put and munch on the backyards grass. Struggling to force the sheep to march, the city slickers footing slips; Raleigh falling face first into the dirt. Lying upon the ground, he turns towards the front of the lamb; watching as the fluffy bastard leisurely munch on the bubbly blondes greenery. Woolly son of a bitch. What’s it find so fucking appetizing about grass anyhow? If its that crazy for the stuff, might as well see if it can lure the fluffy cottonball.

Ripping out a tuft of the turf, the city slicker attempt to use the fresh picked grass to bait the lamb to his side. Rising from the earth, he presents his handful of greens along the side of the sheep head; the barnyard animal glancing over to the offering. Edging closer to the city boys grasps, the sheep’s mouth gradually opens agape. Yeah, that’s it you over sized cotton ball. Just a little closer. Upon its maw reaching the tuft of grass does the lamb clamps down; inadvertently chomping down on Raleigh fingers. With a seething hiss, the city slicker withdraws his hand away from the lamb; the base of his fingers dripping red from the bite. Woolly motherfucker! Bite was strong enough to draw blood. Would light its woolly ass ablaze if Persi weren't watching.

In his pain, Raleigh catches glimpse of the farm boys endeavors with the fluffy sons of bitches; practically having next to no trouble just carrying one of them over his head. Trekking by, Levi turns towards the city slicker with a prideful smirk; the sheep above him letting out a cute little cry. Seeing that smug as hell smile again get his blood boiling; his desire to punch those teeth out burning ever more intense. That flaming fury is quickly put out when he feels something swoosh by behind him; turning back to find the sheep that bit him disappeared

The cowboy soon feels something zoom right over his head; glancing up to find the fluffy haul he was hauling having vanished. All within the backyard look out towards the rest of the flock,  white and blue streak snatching up every single sheep before their eyes. Their eyes follow the zooming figure as it speeds into the sheeps pen; the white and blue lines encircling the inside as it ascends. Watching the streak fly high in the air, the figure soon slows down, revealing the blue boy flipping through the air as he descends back towards the earth. Landing within the sheep’s pen, Tore presents the results of his speedy performance: An inverse triangle of fluffy sheep. Neither of his opponents can even fathom how the blue boy accomplished such a needless show. More importantly, why would you even arrange them into a pyramid like that? Regardless of their confusion, their ears catch the applause of a single set of hands; turning back towards the house to see Persi clapping for Tore’s performance. Right behind him, the bottom sheep topples over; the blue angels sheep stack collapsing under its own weight. Finding the mess of injured barnyard animals at his back, Tore looks back towards the others with a nervous smile. While the bubbly blonde is left shocked, her hands over her mouth; Mally is frustrated by her brothers lack of foresight, pinching her nose with her fingers.

Once the sheep had been tended to and healed, Mally goes over the tally; the skater nervous to find the scores completely tied. Finding her guest in a nervous sweat on approach, bubbly blonde grasps Mally’s shoulder and wonders: “What’s the matter Mal? You look like yer panicking.” “Scoreboard says here that all the boys are even. I didn’t expect them to tie by the end?” ��To be honest, I really thought Levi would win. Farming’s part of his family. Why didn’t you just make seven events?” “I thought the boys patients would wear thin at 6. We need set up another event fast. Who knows how long we have before things take a turn for the worse.”

Awaiting in the middle of the backyard, the boys could be heard gloating to one another of their accomplishments throughout the agricultural competition. “Yep, leaden those chicken to the coop was as easy as a piece of granny smith apple pie in the summertime. Just givem what they want and they’ll follow ya to the ends of the earth.” Levi boasts. “Ya think so? You weren't lookin too hot with the pigs back there. Practically turning their asses towards you. Me on the other hand, they couldn’t get enough of. Had them crawling all around me.” Raleigh counters. “Stacking those sheep up was fun. Like building a fluffy dorito out of barnyard animals. Lucky I healed them when they collapsed.” Tore reminisces. “Only reason ya wound up winning that is cause the judges didn’t count it as cheatin.” the cowboy condemns. “Cheating huh? Kinda like how you used your earth powers to turn a whole row of grass into tilled dirt in what, like 6 seconds?” the city boy retorts. “That ain’t cheatin. That’s using the skills ya have at yer disposal.” Levi argues. “So I guess it was skill when you saw me wield the chicken coop together?” “That was reckless! Could’ve burnt the whole backyard down with how how fast you were hurryin through. Reason you lost half the event is cause your tryin to rush em like a hopped up jack rabbit running a 20 mile marathon.” “Least I can pick up the pace. You wound up eating everybody’s dust cause you were taking your sweet time. Gotta speed up if you wanna win. Even this blue dumbass here knows that much.” “Setting up the pen was fun too. Just punching them down into the ground. Felt satisfying getting it all together at once like that.” the blue boy recalls. “I bet the fast pace of the city would eat a redneck like you alive. Gotta keep the speed going if you wanna win.” “Farmin ain’t no game. Hurrying through don’t fly out in the fields. Need to be patient and steadfast to last a day out in the farm. Not like a hotheaded jackass like you could ever get that through yer sku-” Levi declares.

Before the cowboy could finish, he feels the hard sting of the city slickers knuckles right in his face; the entire backyard grows completely quiet. Levi withdraws from the sudden blow covering his nose as he backs away; glancing back to see the city slickers arrogant smile. From his between his fingers does red start to trickle out; gazing down upon his palm to find crimson staining his leather. The blood squirts out from hand as he clenches his fist; his whole arm shaking in unkempt fury. Breaking Raleigh’s devilish grin, Levi grabs both sides of the city boys head and slams his face into his forehead. Recoiling from the strike, the city boys eyes aim towards the cowboys stomach; swiftly driving his knee straight into Levi’s gut and nearly making the farmer vomit. Upon the blow does the cowboy clasp his stomach as he kneels; lowering himself to the city boys feet. The pain easing, Levi takes advantage of Raleigh’s open legs and sweeps his feet right off the ground. Falling right onto his ass, the city boy witnesses his rival swiftly rising from the earth and raising his leg to try and stamp him down. Springing off the grassy grounds, Raleigh kicks his southern rival square in the chest. Though the blow knocks him back, the cowboy remains steady and balanced; ready to deliver a charging counter attack. Preparing to swing as he approaches the city slicker, his lunge is soon caught by the blue boy; Tore standing between both rivals with the cowboys fist in his palm.

Upon seeing the boys brawl interrupted do both girls begin to relax, Mally releasing a heavy sigh from her lunges. Winding their nerves back up however, the blue angel grasps the cowboys wrist and flinging him right into his rival, sending both flying across the backyard. The two rivals come to a sliding stop, Levi groaning atop Raleigh as they start to recover from their unexpected trip. “Shoot. Kids got some buck in em” the cowboy admits. “Get the fuck off me!” the city slicker screams. Lying upon the ground does a shadow start to engulf the two; both rivals looking upwards to see their third foe dropping down towards them. Both the fire and earth bender part from one another; splitting off to evade the blue angels descending stomp. Once their blue interloper had landed back on solid ground; Levi and Raleigh lunge at him from both sides. Before their pinching assault could land, the blue boy jumps back; both boys harming one another when meeting in the middle Recovering from their backfiring strike first, Levi swings a hefty punch to the blue boy. The blue angel jumps out from the cowboys swing, flipping in midair to drop his leg down towards his texan foe. With a single arm, Levi blocks the hammering kick mere inches from his face. Raleigh takes the moment of their clash to move in, grasping onto the farm boys arm and kicking Tore square in the face. Right after striking the blue boy back, Raleigh swings off Levi’s own arm and kicks him down with him. Both on the ground, the city slicker springs him airborne with but his legs; sending him several feet in the air and preparing to finish the fight. Tumbling across the backyard, Tore soon sees himself flying towards the chicken coop; regaining his aerial balance and sticking his legs out towards the hen house. From the coops side, the blue boy lands on the wooden sheet and jumps back towards the frey; springing right after the airborne cowboy. The city slicker himself also springs after Levi, ready to finish him in the air. His ascending assault is soon intercepted when his indigo foe punches the cowboy right out of the air. Brushing right past his side, Tore grabs hold of the city slickers passing arm and flings him back down. All three of them soon return to the earth: Tore on his feet, Levi sliding across the grass, and Raleigh crashing down on his back. On the ground, a seething growl starts seeping out between the firebenders teeth; a blaze sparking in his eyes.

Out on the sidelines, both girls watch as Levi and Raleigh arise, Mally’s mind going on overdrive on how to stop the brawl without escalating it further. Beside her does the bubbly blondes worry erupts, causing her to run out towards the trio while begging them to: “Please! Just stop fighting!” Persi’s sudden scamper catching her off guard: Mally jumps to try and pull the blonde back to her side. “No!” she screams in dismay. From her failed capture does she look out towards Raleigh as he stands, a fiery orange aura enveloping the city slickers body. An obvious sign of the battle about to heat up, the skater pulls out her grapple-yo and casts it out towards the retreating blonde.

Standing on his feet, the city boy’s anger comes to an unrestrained blaze; his fists shaking as a furious fire begins to form between his fingers. The bubbly blonde nearing Raleigh as his aura grows intensly brighter; the yoyo’s string wraps around her waist. “I’ve...had...Enough!” From the statement does a wave of flames explode out from his body; Persi jerked away from the furious blaze right in the nick of time.

Before both Levi and Tore, Raleigh’s blazing fury proved at its peak; burning patches of grass surrounding the city boys feet. “Two of you are pissing me off! I’d say its about time to turn up the heat!” Out from the palm of his hand, the firebender casts a ball of flames out towards the blue boy. White wings sprouting from his back, Tore ascends away of the pyromaniacs attack; the blazing ball landing within the backyard garden.

Watching as her seeds and soil are consumed by the burning flames; Persi can’t help but cry out as she pulled back to the side. “My cabbages!” A shadow blanketing over them, Mally and the Persi gaze above to see the blue angel descending down towards the burning boy. Raleigh dives away from Tore’s crashing descent; the impact trembling the entire neighborhood. As Tore was ready to fly after the pyromaniac, he feels something pulling him down; looking below to see his legs sinking into the ground. Glancing to the right, Levi could be seen taking stable fighting stances; the cowboys hands motioning down as his blue foe sinks further into the dirt. “Like a white hornet caught in a flytrap.” the cowboy compares. His lower half submerged, the blue boy delivers a mighty downward punch; further cracking the ground and freeing himself from the earthen prison. As the earthbender watches the blue angel ascend, a bright orange glow soon baits his attention; glancing over to see the city slicker lunging towards him with a fiery kick. The cowboy takes an elevating stance; a slab of earth rising before him and blocking Raleigh blazing assault. His firebending rival on the sheet of ground, Levi shoves the slab away; sending both it and the city slicker on a collision course towards the hen house. Their impact smashes the chicken coop in; the barnyard fowl within scattering out from within their abode. The last hen having escaped, Raleigh busts out of the coop in a blazing eruption; its flaming remains scattering across the backyard.

One of the burning pieces lands before both Mally and Persi, who can’t help but watch as the brawl worsens. As both of them back away towards the house; they hear the distressed voice of a familiar farm girl. “What in blue blazes is goin on out here!?” Turning to the backdoor, both witness Bluebell run to their side; continuing her urging questions with: “Why’re the boys tearing up the backyard?” “We were trying to come up with the next event when they just started fighting out of nowhere!” her big sister summarizes. “Oh! Does this have to do to with that stupid contest you made em go through?” the hulking farm girl asks as she stares down upon the sweating skater. Faced before Bluebells accusing stare, Mally hesitates answering the obvious with: “Uhhh...” Out from the skirmish before them, a white ray shoots out from the blue angel; the beam of light brushing past the farm girls roof. “Maybe?”

Raleigh was in the midst of dodging oncoming rocks cast by his southern rival; city slicker kicking back one of the rugged stones in a blazing coat. Levi catches the burning rock with but a single hand; crushing it in the palm of his leather. The farm boy watches as the city slicker is swept off his feet by the blue angel and his taken in the air via nelson hold. “Got ya now.” “Let me go, you blue dumbass!” Raleigh demands as he struggles in the angels grip. From the ground, the cowboy looks on with a confident grin as he takes a stance, declaring: “Guess it’s like the old sayin goes. Hittin two birds...” Stomping his boot onto the grass, a big boulder burst out from the depths of the earth. With a single kick, Levi shoots the massive rock up towards his airborne opponents. “With one stone!” Trapped in front of the blue boy, Raleigh witnesses the flying chunk of rock coming; realizing that he needs to think fast. The city boy envelopes himself in a coat of scorching flames for a brief moment, forcing his captor to release him. As the Tore recovers from the sudden combustion, the farm boys boulder smacks him out from the air. Both him and the large chunk of rock crash down onto the sheep’s pen; the lambs fleeing out from within the fencing as the blue boy slowly rises.

“Should’ve just done this from the start!” the city slicker declares as he descends back towards the ground. Once having landed, Raleigh sets off an explosion behind him to rocket towards his rival. His burning foe rapidly approaching, Levi takes his sturdy stance and uppercuts the air. Right when the city boy was closing in, a column of rock rises out from the earth and launches him out from his rocketing strike. Tossed dozens of feet in the air, the pyromaniac takes the opportunity to rain down a torrent of flames towards the country kid. Clasping his hands above his head, Levi erects a stone shell to shield himself from the raining pyre; feeling only the heat from within his rocky dome. Something soon breaks through his earthen defenses however and forces the cowboy outside. Out from the rocky shell, the blue angels tackles him across the backyard, causing the country boy to careen towards the pig pen. Crashing through the wooden stakes making up the fencing, Levi slides across the mud ridden ground until the ground slows him down; the pigs fleeing out from the comfort of their pen.

All three of the girls watch as the once peaceful and lively backyard starts to turn into a chaotic war zone. Burning grass and wood, cracked and crumbled earth, fleeing and panicking farm animals; the boys were making a whole mess of the place. “We need to think of somethin to stop this fast, before our house gets caught up in the crossfire.” Bluebell declares. “But what can we do now? There’s no way we can go out there without getting hurt.” Persi warns. Gazing out beyond the ensuing battle, Mally attempts to find whatever she could to halt the growing brawl. Thought looking upon nothing but the remains of the events in her site, she still can put together out a solution with the leftover pieces. A durable stake left under a pile of rocks at the wayside, an untouched hay bail stacked under its burning others, and the bulky farm girl beside her. “What?” Bluebell wonders, seeing Mally gaze in her direction. Right before their eyes, the farm girls witness their orange guest sprint out into the chaos. “What the-! What are you doin!?” “I got a plan cooking! Just get ready!” the skater orders as she heads into the fray.

Dashing across the battered backyard, Mally swerves and weaves around uprooted chunks of earth and burning patches of grass. A white light draws her attention as she moves, looking over to find a careening white ball closing in. The skater slides right under the ball of light; its surface shining upon the girl as she evades its deadly plasma. Once have dodges the ball, she jumps right up and continues her hurry through the yard; the ground under her beginning to tremble. Right below her feet, a wall of unfiltered rock rises out from the earth, elevating Mally several feet above the backyard. With a slanting wall blocking her right, she readies to jump back down, though a look at what awaits below quickly changes her mind. Raleigh blazing right past; leaving behind wide trail of blazing grass behind him. Sheesh, it can’t ever be as simple as jumping down, can it? Always have to have something complicating things. Oh well, at least its starting to look fun. Kinda like those obstacle game shows where you see some poor saps falling into the water. Bet falling into the water face first must sting sometimes.

With jumping straight down out of the question, Mally races across the rest of the wall; feeling the heat from the firebenders flames as she runs through. She notices her footing swiftly beginning to slant down, gazing ahead to find the walls flat surface curving over to the side. With the flames below extending past the point of standing ground, the skater starts to pick up speed. Mally leaps out from the end of her path and slides against the curved rock; running straight across the wall. Reaching the end of her arcing slide, she looks down to find some blazing grass still below her. With a daring leap, the skater kicks against the rock wall; jumping beyond the city slickers scorching flames below. Over the flames behind her, she lands upon the stable ground with a recovering roll; wasting not another moment to sprint towards the burning pile of hay.

Once close to the burning stack of hay, Mally pulls out her trusty grapple-yo and casts it out towards the bail left untouched by the raging blaze at the bottom. As soon as her yoyo sticks to the hay, she jerks the bail right out; the rest of the burning hay collapsing under its own weight. Like an Olympian tossing a heavy hammer; Mally swings the bail of hay around several times before flinging it across the backyard. The bail careens right over the brawling boys, remaining unhindered in its trip until landing right beside Persi and Bluebell.

As soon as she sees the bail land, her site then turns towards the wooden stake buried under chunks of rubble. Just like the hay before it, Mally tosses her grapple-yo out towards the stake, latching right onto the woods flat top. Though she attempts to pluck the plank right out of the rocks, the skater fails to tug out even an inch of its wood out from under the mounds heavy weight. Can’t pull on it too hard; might risk breaking it. Need to break the rocks holding it down. But how?

Upon thinking this does Mally hear a familiar voice cry out from above; glancing above to see her blue brother careening down towards her. Thinking fast, she jumps towards the buried piece of wood as she yanks on her string; retracting herself towards the stone wreckage and from the blue boys crashing descent. Rocketing towards the rubble at breakneck speeds, the skater sticks her legs out towards the top of the rocks and breaks the stone holding the stake down with a single kick.

After she’s freed the wooden stake from under its stone prison, Mally aims the point towards the home like an Olympic javelin thrower on last; the last throw to determine the finale. With a running start, the skater makes the toss; watching as the stake flies across the fresh war zone of flames and earth. The wooden planks flight is nearly intercepted as Levi careens right in its path; the stake’s splinters brushing past the earthbenders chest. Past the careening cowboy, the wooden planks tip drives itself in the soil next to Persi and her sister. From across the torn backyard, both could hear the skater calling out to them; Mally requesting that: “Persi! Start building a seesaw with the hay bail and stake! Bluebell! Get on top of the house and wait for my signal!” Without so much as a word between them, both girl start to act upon the skaters orders; Bluebell heading towards the side of the house as her sister pulls the wooden stake out from the dirt.

Mally herself starts to race back towards the house at full speed, but is stopped in her tracks when both her brother and the cowboy clash in front of her. Pushing one another back, Levi stomps his boot onto the earth and coats his foot with the rock. With his foot covered in stone, the farm boy kicks the blue angel away; the stone shell breaking off upon impact. Drawing away from the earthbender, Tore shoots out a bright white beam towards his southern opponent; Levi erecting a stone slab in front of him to block the oncoming ray. On contact does the beam break the cowboys stone defense to pieces; though this fact fail to discourage him as he punches the remains of his shield at the blue boy. The barrage of rock swiftly approaching, Tore blocks the stone onslaught with both arms. Seeing his winged foe distracted by the bombardment of rock, Levi aims to follow up with a powerful stomp; raising his leg above his head. Though before he could slam his cowboy boot upon the earth, his other leg is swept right out from under him; looking back as he falls to see the Raleigh’s devious grin. Having swept his earthbending rival sturdy footing, the city slicker kicks Levi out towards the blue boy; Tore lowering his guard just in time to be knocked over by the careening cowboy. Both of his foes down, Raleigh streaks towards the two; Mally taking the moment to continue her race back towards Persi’s abode.

Back at the sisters home, she returns just in time for Persi to finish the crude makeshift catapult; glancing above to see the hulking farm girl standing on top of the roof. As Mally positions herself on the other end of the seesaw; she hears Bluebell question: “When ya want me to jump?” “Give it a second...”

Watching the fight wage on, she witnesses her brother fling the cowboy high into the air; the blue angel chasing after the ascending earthbender. Seeing the blue newcomer ready to finish off his rival, Raleigh launches himself towards the duo in a burst of flames. In the middle of the air, Levi draws whatever loose earth was nearby and molds its over his hands; combining the rock into a set of stone cold fists as he begins to descend down towards his approaching foes. With all three of the boys on the verge of colliding, Mally finally gives the call. “Now!” Upon her word does the hulking farm girl jump off the top of her home, slamming herself down onto the other side of the seesaw with all her all her might. The sudden shift in weight successfully rockets the skater high in the air; Mally pulling her grapple-yo as she flies towards the trio.

All three of the boys ready to give their all in one final clash; Tore flying up with a ready fist, Raleigh rocketing with a fiery kick, and Levi with a stone covered slam. Intercepting this clash be a lone yoyo that wraps itself around the blue angels arm. Tracing its string, the blue boy witnesses his sister close by; keeping a tight grip of her grapple-yo’s string. “Mally!? What are you-” The boys question is swiftly interrupted as his sister jerks him out from his charge; Mally swinging his brother towards the street smart pyro. Raleigh’s fiery kick is swiftly put out when the blue boy slams right into him; the pyromaniac joining Tore in his unplanned midair ride. Both boys swinging out towards the descending cowboy; Levi can do nothing but look towards the oncoming duo. “What in tarna-” Forced into their undesired ride, Levi’s stone fists are broken upon impact. All three boys within her hold; the airborne skater swings them back towards the earth like a mighty hammer. Tore, Raleigh, and Levi slam straight into the ground; the trio finally down for the count.

“Yes!” Mally cheers upon her success. Her smile swiftly deflates as she begins to descend; looking under to see herself falling towards a set of sharp stones. The skaters succeeding cheer swiftly turns into a panicking scream; closing into the jagged rocks below her. Before she could feels their cold stone jamming into her; something sweeps her out from her impaling fate.

Feeling the light touch of skin at her back, she opens her eyes to find herself in the arms of Bluebells older sister, Persi. “What the- How...” Glancing down, she found her host hovering several feet above the ground. “Since when could you fly!?” “I’m sorry. I always could have. I have a whole bunch of powers I could use since I was a little kid. But I...don’t like using them. Not in front of my sisters. I don’t want them to feel bad for not having any. Every time I think of how jealous they might be of the fact that they weren't born with powers, it makes me feel terrible. So even when they’re not around I...” Though the farm girl continues to explain herself, most of it goes right over her guest; Mally far too distracted by Persi well developed chest. Oh god...Look at them...There so close…So lush and beautiful… Blushing red as a beat, she tries to turn back to the farm girl and listen; returning to the end of her statement as she asks her: “...You know what I mean?” All the bright red skater could respond with was with a fast repeating nod.

Lying upon the broken earth, all three of the boys slowly begin to rise from the cracks; droning moans escaping from their mouth as they begin to stand. Grasping his backside, Raleigh gets onto his feet first and follows with: “Fuck...My spine...What the hell happened?” Back on his feet, Levi looks towards the destruction their war has wrought; his site drawn to the cracked earth and burning wood. “Fella’s...We took things too far is what happened.” the cowboy proclaims. The last to rise, Tore joins in the farm boy’s guilt by mentioning: “Yeah, this place ain’t looking too good. All the stuff we made in the olympics just scrap now.” “Things probably wouldn’t have turned to shit if you two didn’t make things worse.” the city slicker blames. “Come on now, Pedrosa. Ya’ll had just as much handiwork in this disaster as we did. Ain’t gonna do ya any good passing the blame like playing hot potato with a pack of lit TNT.” Levi reminds him. “Oh, and your such a fucking saint? Going on how much a big deal you are now how shitty I am? Maybe this wouldn’t have started if you’d just shut your damn mouth.” “Easy for you to forget how short of a fuse ya got. One little quip and yer quick to the draw.” “Yeah man. You just straight up punched him outta nowhere. That ain’t cool.” the blue boy adds. “Kinda funny coming outta your mouth. You were practically begging to get a part in this stupid contest. Stepping in and making us look like shit with your flashy acts.” Raleigh counters. “Good point. What makes you think you can just butt in and turn this whole love triangle into a square like a meddlin mathematician?” the cowboy wonders, his gaze aimed towards the blue boy. “Love? What are you on about? I ain’t into any of that junk.” “What?” the city boy utters. “I never really given that kinda stuff much though; if any at all.” “Then why were ya so eager to compete with us?” Levi asks. “Cause it’s so much fun. Testing your metal with others and see what they can bring to the table is exciting. And the two of you were just awesome to fight with.” Pointing towards the Raleigh, he compliments him with: “You with your sizzling hot fire powers. I really felt the heat when you were shooting out those sick flames.” His finger drifts over towards Levi; praising his powers with: “And you with your rock hard earth powers. You really know how to make stone pack one hell of a punch.” Both rivals dart their gaze towards one another and realize their rash judgment.

“You don’t think we could pick up where we left off someday, can we?” the blue angel offers; extending his hands to both of the boys. To his offer, the cowboy cracks off a small smile, a hearty laugh escaping from his lungs. “I’m liking the cut of yer jig, blue boy. I’d be happy to tussle with ya sometime soon, partner.” Levi promises, taking Tore’s hand with firm shake. “You seriously begging me to kick yer ass?” A small snicker escapes from Raleighs smile as he reach for the blue boy’s hand. “I might just take you up on that offer someday.”

Though their comradery is freshly formed and their personal squabbles sorted, their smiles are swiftly shattered when a wayward shrill reaches their ears. “What in the world happened out here!?” All three look back towards the house, witnesses a mother holding a blonde baby girl in her arms; her furious gaze glaring out towards the trio. “Which one of you destroyed the backyard!?” The boys eyes drift towards one another, realizing how much deep shit they’ve dug themselves in.

A short while later, the boys could be seen restoring what they could of the backyard farm. Along the dirt, Levi plows whatever earth that he had uprooted in his struggles against the boys; making sure the ground is leveled just right. “Suppose this is what we get for having our grand smack down in the middle someones backyard.” the cowboy admits. Tore punches the each wooden stake back into the ground one by one; slowly building back the fence that he had tackled the cowboy into. “It ain’t that bad. Least there making us clean up just the backyard. Who knows where else our other shots probably landed.” the blue boy mentions. Raleigh wields the walls of the chicken coop back together; his burning fingers trailing across the cracks of the wood. “Don’t really know why the girls are making us do all the work. It’s there backyard, ain’t it?” Raleigh questions. Pushing some rock back, Levi denies the city slicker with: “Ain’t their fault that we caused most of the mess. Gotta clean up our own dirty deeds like a major dealin with a botched trade deal in the middle of a depression.” “English! Do you understand it!?” Tore screams, both of the boys looking confused as all hell.

Out from the side, Mally watches the boys work out their mess; a satisfied sigh leaving past her lips. “Glad to see them fixing the mess they caused. Hope this teach’em not to take things too far. Wonder what mom’s got for us back home?” Pondering this, the skater readies to part; her departure quickly put on hold when she bumps into a familiar figure. Looking above, she found her hulking host staring her down with a discerning glare. “What?” From Bluebell’s palm does she present Mally with but a simple hammer; her gesture being all she needs to understand what her host requests out of her. “Ugh, Fine.” she submits, a defeated breath escaping from her lungs as she heads over to join the boys in their efforts.

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Wanted to do something short and sweet with this after the huge Chapter that I did last time. Figured that I could do something simple and lighthearted this time around to relax. First time writing with Levi and describing his rivalry with Raleigh and it was loads of fun thinking how they play off each other.

Levi and Chrissy belong to: @princesscallyie

[easyweight101]

Celexas Cream Review: Don’t Buy Before You Read This!

What is it?

Celexas is a sexual enhancement product that claims to help users “do more” during sex.  This product is designed to help the body feel more energized, burn fat and improve sex drive and performance.

Celexas reportedly works by stimulating the blood flow and at the same time increasing metabolism, resulting in weight loss and erectile function. The Celexas website claims this product also works to increase energy and regulate hormone levels in the body.

After looking at a variety of drugs, dietary supplements and more, we’ve found Viritenz is the best enhancement solution available for sale. An herbal blend of ginseng, tongkat ali, tribulus terrestris and more, work together to increase libido and erectile function, as well as improve performance and keep the reproductive system running smoothly. To learn more about the many benefits Viritenz can provide, click here.

Do You Know the Best Male Enhancement Supplements of 2017?

Celexas Ingredients and Side Effects

The Celexas website does not feature an official label, but they have chosen to list the active ingredients on the product webpage. Here’s a quick look at what you’ll likely find inside this product:

Yohimbe Extract L-Arginine Maca Maritime Pine

Yohimbe Bark Extract: Yohimbe is an evergreen tree found in Western Africa and its bark is used in a number of natural remedies. Yohimbe bark works to stimulate the circulatory system, and produces an enhanced feeling of arousal—a combination of aphrodisiac and vasodilation effects, which makes it a choice herbal solution for ED.

Side effects may include nausea, headaches, vomiting, sinus pain and congestion, irritability, anxiety, increased blood pressure, insomnia and tremors.

Additionally, yohimbe may cause kidney failure, heart attack, seizures and racing heartbeat.

Maca Root Extract: Also known as Peruvian ginseng, maca is a root crop known for its many health benefits, which includes improved athletic performance and energy levels, as well as its effect on male sexual performance and fertility.

Maritime Pine: An extract found in the bark of a pine tree, this ingredient is thought to improve physical stamina, energy and athleticism, as well as naturally treat erectile dysfunction. It may also help treat male infertility and offers a number of benefits ranging from clear skin to heart health.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, headaches and mouth ulcers.

L-Arginine: An essential amino acid, L-arginine is a precursor to nitric oxide, a substance that brings blood to the extremities, the brain, and the penis, allowing for better erectile function.

Read more about how you can increase your libido, boost performance and more, all without a prescripton.

EDITOR’S TIP:Combine this supplement with a proven male enhancement pill such as Viritenz for better results.

Celexas Quality of Ingredients

Celexas only relies on a few key ingredients to deliver the long list of benefits advertised on the website. It’s not exactly clear if the main purpose of this product is to boost sexual function or is targeting those with weight loss goal or who want to have more energy in their day-to-day life. The ingredients do have a host of sexual benefits, but may help with at-the-gym performance as well.

Of the four ingredients listed on the site, we did not like that yohimbe was included. While it can be a useful herb for stimulating sexual function, much in the way a prescription ED medication can, this natural aphrodisiac still poses many of the same risks, without any of the regulation of prescription meds.

Additionally, we were unable to find much independent information outside of the site evaluating the formula from a objective point of view.

Check out our hand-picked guide to the best natural male enhancement supplements.

The Price and Quality of Celexas

Celexas is seems to only be available through the dedicated Celexas webpage if the user opts to sign up to receive a free sample. The consumer is expected to enter their information and likely will be enrolled in an autopay cycle which predictably ships out an order of the supplement each month until the customer chooses to cancel.

What we thought was a bit strange was, the website never actually mentions how much the product costs, only providing a call to action for the customer to “rush my order” and sign up for the trial.

Unfortunately, this product cannot be found elsewhere on sites with a better reputation or at the very least, greater pricing transparency.

See which male performance solutions our review experts rated best — click the link for more.

Business of Celexas

The company that manufactures Celexas is known by the name, Based Capital, LLC and their contact information is listed below:

Phone: 844-688-6199

Email: contact@celexas.com

Address: 12924 Pierce Street Pacoima, CA 91331

Based Capital hardly has an online presence, despite being the company behind several male enhancement products, health supplements and more. We were unable to find much information about this company under this name nor the brand, Celexas, but there are a number of reports filed under their other ventures.

A brand known as Beauty Impressions, also a Based Capital brand, received an F rating from the Better Business Bureau.

Also, if you type in the business address, this company appears to be using one associated with a pet store in Pacoima, CA.

Here’s a look at what past consumers have had to say after dealing with this company:

“Total scam, maybe a class action lawsuit is the way to go, since so many people have had similar experiences. They’ll probably just open another business and keep doing the same thing.” 

“I accidentally signed up for the free trial, and I could not cancel my subscription. Ended up having to cancel my card and report fraud to avoid a lifetime of $200 charges. Don’t fall for this nonsense.”

“I was asked by a lady on the phone if I wanted auto renewals when the trial ended and said “no.” Sure enough, I was billed about a week later for almost $200. The trial itself turned out to be the same as agreeing to this scam. “

The Celexas website itself is kind of outdated, despite the fact it says it was designed in 2017. The copy on the homepage is a little confusing and at times, uses grammatical errors or simply doesn’t follow the conventions of the English language.

There are no scientific data sets or clinical studies, or even a clear function of the product. It seems as though the creators of the site are either unclear what they are selling, or trying to do too many things with one product.

Customer Opinions of Celexas

Unfortunately, we had trouble locating any reviews directed toward Celexas itself, rather than the company Based Capital and the problems people have had after trying to do business with them.

Because Celexas is only available for sale through the dedicated product page, there are few accounts of people who tried his product on their own and reported their experience.

Based on the lack of information about the formula, the strange company background and the fact that we don’t even know the price, there’s little evidence suggesting this product is worth a try, and that’s before taking into consideration that there are zero customer reviews available.

Learn more about the different herbal male enhancement supplements out—click here to see what solution is right for you.

Conclusion – Does Celexas Work?

After taking a look at Celexas and the business behind it, we do not recommend this product as a viable male enhancement solution. The formula contains yohimbe, an ingredient with a known risk of particularly dangerous side effects and the Based Capital comes off as a company trying to mislead their consumers.

Based Capital raises a lot of concerns. They make several male enhancement products, as well as operate in the health and beauty space. This is not a problem in and of itself, but some of the companies they operate have accused the firm of fraudulent business practices, including a predatory free sample “sales” technique, which automatically enrolls consumers in monthly billing cycles.

Plus, Based Capital is using the address of a pet shop, so it’s not clear if they are using an address that does not belong to them, or if they are selling a range of supplements under different names from the pet shop.

In addition to the transparency problems occurring at the highest level of this business, the Celexas website does not even list the price, which seems a bit strange in most e-commerce contexts.

For all the reasons outlined above, we recommend finding another male enhancement product with more information available to the customer from pricing to formulation and more.

We’ve looked at a lot of male enhancement products, and found Viritenz is the most effective natural sex pill of its kind. Made using an herbal blend containing maca root, long jack and more, this supplement is a healthy, proven solution for erectile dysfunction and low libido.

Viritenz is made following strict GMP policies, and undergoes regular testing to maintain a certain standard of quality. Learn what Viritenz can do for your sex life and beyond, click through for more.

from Easy Weight Loss 101 http://ift.tt/2mNyiqU via The Best Weight Loss Diet In The World

[distracteddream]

Accidental Aphrodisiac Nonsense! (seriously, has no one asked about this yet?? 👀)

😇 I’ve posted 2 snippets of this before on Sundays and I really want to get back to it. Loki and Mobius are on a mission at an other-worldly bar which serves all its patrons, let’s say, mood enhancers. They are both very, very into it and the aphrodisiac gives them the little push to act on their desires. And act on them they do!

(Behind a cut for spice.)

The confession was out before it registered. Mobius had the briefest moment to realize it and see the feral, greedy glint in Loki’s eyes before Loki swooped in and kissed him.

Mobius moaned low in his throat at the feel of Loki’s lips on his. His fingers curled into Loki’s shirt and rather than shove him away, Mobius tugged Loki closer and held him in place.

Loki tilted his head, Mobius’ lips parting as Loki deepened the kiss. His fingers slipped into Mobius’ shirt, brushing lightly over his clavicle. Mobius shivered, Loki’s touch cool against his heated skin.

His head was swimming. Mobius had wanted this, wanted Loki, for so long. He’d fantasized about it. About what it would be like. About what Loki would feel like. Taste like. How he would sound when-

Loki made a wanton noise as Mobius boldly pressed his thigh against Loki’s crotch.

The TVA’s files, while extensive, never captured the little details like this and Mobius wanted to learn them all.

Loki’s hands slid up to cup the sides of Mobius’ throat. He broke the kiss, thumbing Mobius’ lower lip. It felt swollen, sensitive, and Mobius opened up and sucked Loki’s thumb into his mouth.