#accept yourself to be accepted by others (kanji)

[pikahlua]

Oh? Please, Madam

What Izuku rejects is the opportunity to be Katsuki's SIDEKICK. He doesn't reject being a hero or competing with Katsuki. He rejects working FOR/UNDER Katsuki. Which is hilarious because Katsuki accepts (apparently multiple times) showing up as a guest lecturer to help out Izuku's class. Katsuki tells Izuku that "If everyone is special, no one is special," which has the potential for SO MUCH DOUBLE MEANING. But what there is no ambiguity about to me is he's basically telling Izuku "Hey, notice this. I'm treating you special. You're special to me. NOTICE."

It's also implied that Izuku sees Katsuki more regularly than he sees most others from their class, which is emphasized by the previous chapter when Aizawa complains to him about Katsuki's behavior in public affecting his ranking. Katsuki basically tells Izuku he needs to start thinking about himself more, and he also ends their final interaction with a "See ya [later]." Katsuki is NOT talking about Ochako, but Izuku takes some of his advice as the impetus for going to talk to Ochako (specifically they just wanna talk more after the dinner since the dinner is now over and they didn't get to talk). So what was Katsuki thinking of? I personally read his "See ya later" as "You'll figure it out, just go handle what you gotta right now and you can catch up to me later."

Hilariously, Izuku calls Katsuki out for being the one to say "If you don't start thinking a little more highly of yourself, you won't notice the things you should." Izuku's response is basically, "Look who's talking." Again, the potential for double meaning here is painfully obvious. He could be referring to SO MANY THINGS and we're meant to infer what that is. WE GET TO GUESS. Izuku could be saying "You did stuff just as bad as what you're saying," or "You're STILL not noticing something, Kacchan."

And Izuku taking inspiration from Katsuki's words to go talk to Ochako is meaningful in another way--IT MEANS IZUKU LISTENED TO HIM. Katsuki is having an influence on Izuku in a way to improve who he is just like Izuku did for him in high school. Izuku takes Katsuki's advice seriously. NO ONE HAS EVER GOTTEN HIM TO UNDERSTAND THIS LESSON BEFORE NOW. It ends with Izuku and Ochako deciding to talk more, but what it shows us is the beginning of Izuku considering himself more. If Izuku follows Katsuki's advice long enough, he'll end up back in the competition with Katsuki just like Katsuki expects him to. That is just as easy of a conclusion to make from the theme of "inevitability" that Shouto gives us (and that Izuku also takes to heart).

This ending implies that inevitably Izuku's gonna catch up again, basically. Things will continue to change. So yeah, we get a beginning where he and Ochako meet up to talk, but it's just a beginning. It's one night of chatting. They're seeing if something's there now (which kind of implies that there wasn't much there before), but it's left open-ended. And I think it's left open-ended what happens with Ochako on purpose because anyone can read how that ends up however they like. You just have to decide as a reader what's "inevitable" for Izuku Midoriya from this point on. Me? I've decided Izuku is taking Katsuki's advice to treat people who mean more to him better. Ochako is just the beginning. Izuku has other people in his life he needs to show love to as well (because that's what this is, Izuku is learning to show people that they're important to him, that he loves them, because saving people doesn't do that--he saves EVERYONE). And then maybe he'll start to see how the people who love him treat him special too, like guest SPECIAL (same kanji) LECTURER KATSUKI BAKUGOU.

tl;dr there is a lot left open to interpretation and it's probably on purpose, read the chapter however you like, just like we did with the last chapter.

...and my interpretation which is the correct one is that Katsuki tells Izuku, "Here let me show you how to love people, damnit!" to give him the character development everyone has been begging for him to have for years, to realize that saving people doesn't mean they're special to him if he's known for saving everyone ever, so like, maybe go show them you care in OTHER ways, Izuku, and also I'll be waiting right here for you to come show you love me you jackass (and he does, he does come show him that)

[cmdrfupa]

Prologue

all warnings and chapters can be found here.

Hiromi x Reader

The room reeked of power—a sharp blend of smoke, leather, and the subtle tang of whiskey that lingered on polished wood. Hiromi Higuruma sat with his back straight, his face an unreadable mask of calm. The table before him was littered with contracts, each one marked with red seals and neat rows of kanji spelling out his future. He skimmed them without truly reading. The words didn’t matter. The decision had already been made.

“You understand what’s at stake,” his adoptive father spoke with a boom from the seat across the table. His voice was deep, unyielding, each word an order cloaked in false reason.

Hiromi glanced up. He didn’t need a reminder. The opposing family had been circling like vultures, looking for any sign of weakness in their organization. The marriage wasn’t just an alliance; it was a lifeline, a way to ensure their control over contested territories while keeping your family in check. It was strategy.

“Of course,” Hiromi replied, his voice steady.

His father leaned forward, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Good. Then there’s nothing more to discuss. The arrangements are already underway.”

There was no room for protest. Hiromi knew better than to argue with the man who had raised him. Gratitude was the chain around his neck, the silent weight that kept him tethered. But as his father spoke, Hiromi couldn’t help but think about the woman he was being ordered to marry.

He’d heard of you, seen one horribly snapped photo of you and accepted it. He had never met you, though rumors painted you as this quiet, stubborn woman who despised the yakuza lifestyle you’d been born into. Hiromi wondered if you’d would hate him, too.

“Do you have anything to say?” his father asked, a challenge hidden in his tone.

Hiromi met his gaze, his expression unflinching. “No. I understand my role.”

That was the truth, wasn’t it? He had spent years playing the obedient son, the loyal consigliere. What was one more sacrifice in the name of the family?

—————

On the other side of the city, you sat in your bedroom, hands clenched into fists as your mother fussed over wedding plans.

“This is for the good of the family,” your mother spoke sweetly, holding up a delicate hairpin as if it would somehow soften the blow.

Your jaw tightened. “I don’t want to marry him.”

Her mother sighed, setting the hairpin down with an exasperated clink. “You think this is about what you want? You’re not a child. This is about survival.”

Survival. You hated that word. It was the same justification they’d used for every compromise, every betrayal of the values you once thought your family held. Survival had cost you your freedom, your voice, and now, it seemed, your future.

But you didn’t argue further. What was the point? You had no power here and you certainly wouldn’t have it anywhere else.

Your gaze drifted to the window, where the city lights stretched endlessly into the darkness. Somewhere out there was the man you were being forced to marry. A stranger.

Closing your eyes, you tried to imagine his face. Cold, calculating, cruel—he had to be, if he was a consigliere for a family like the Higurumas. The golden boy of his family and one day the head. You wondered if he felt as trapped as you did, or if this was just another business deal for him.

Either way, you would find a way to hold on to whatever pieces of yourself you could. Even if it meant playing a role in a world you hated.

_________

The drive into the city was suffocating, despite the chill in the air. You sat stiffly in the backseat between your mother and father, your hands folded tightly in your lap. The leather interior smelled faintly of cigar smoke, a scent you’d grown up associating with every decision you’d never been allowed to make for yourself.

“This isn’t just about you,” your father said, his voice breaking the heavy silence. “It’s about our family. You understand that, don’t you?”

You didn’t answer right away, staring out the window at the blurred city lights.

“I understand,” you said softly, though the words tasted bitter on your tongue.

Your father grunted in approval, adjusting his tie as he glanced at you from his peripheral. “Good. Then listen carefully. This man, Hiromi—he’s not like us. He comes from this family of clever, calculating types. The kind of man who’ll see through you if you don’t keep your wits about you. You need to be strong, but not too strong. Respectful, but not a pushover. A good wife.”

The word made your stomach churn. “A good wife, yes.” you echoed, your voice flat.

“Yes,” he repeated, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “Your job is to make him trust you. Make him see you as someone worth protecting. That’s how you secure your place—and ours—in this world.”

You turned to face him then, anger flickering in your chest. “And what about what I want?”

Your father’s jaw tightened, and he shot you a sharp look as if you were the enemy. “This isn’t about what you want. It never was about what you want. Get that through your head.”

Your mother reached over and squeezed your hands, a silent apology that should be coming from him instead of her.

The rest of the ride passed in silence, the weight of his words pressing down on your like a stone.

When the car pulled up outside the Higuruma estate, you felt your pulse quicken. The house loomed in the distance, its dark silhouette framed by meticulously trimmed hedges and iron gates.

As the car came to a stop, your father turned to you.

“Remember what I said,” he murmured, his voice softening for the first time that evening. “This is your life now. Make the best of it.”

Your driver opened the door and your mother gently rubbed your back as you stepped out of the car behind your father, the cold air biting at your skin as you stared up at the house and the dozen people standing like statues to greet you.

—

The ink was drying on the contracts by the time Hiromi left the meeting and stepped outside. His family stood sharply, holding umbrellas down the walkway as he stepped into the cold night, waiting to take you and your family in for the first of many dinners.

He wondered how much of himself he’d lose to this marriage.

The answer, he suspected, was more than he was willing to admit.

And as he watched you step out of the car, he felt as if he was destined for doom no matter how this played out.

[habitual-truant]

"Naoto isn't trans! Kanji isn't gay! You obviously don't understand their character arcs at all!"

I'm allowed to be critical of the homophobic and transphobic narratives that are in persona 4. Obviously in canon kanji is straight and Naoto is a cis girl, but it pisses me off when people decide to say "you don't understand their character!" because I do. I KNOW Kanji's arc was about toxic masculinity. I KNOW Naoto didn't like being a girl because she wasn't treated fairly and taken seriously for it. I KNOW they aren't queer. But they should have been.

Throughout persona, a person's shadow has been some part of their unconscious mind, the exact part varying from game to game, but the general consensus being that it's the part of the self that's unknown for whatever reason. In persona 4, its the part that is repressed and rejected. Characters defeat their shadow and gain their persona from accepting that their shadow, a manifestation of the things they hate about themselves, is in fact a part of them. It's not exactly the same for Kanji and Naoto though. Kanji's shadow is the result of internalizing what others say about him as the truth, and Naoto's is the result of rejecting what other people think of her, and repressing the reasons why they think those things. Unlike the other characters who's shadows entirely come from their own emotions and thoughts, Kanji and Naoto's shadows come from how other's perception of the two affects them.

Kanji's shadow is a "gross pervert" that lusts over men. Based off of the other characters and how they defeat their shadows, you would think he has internalized homophobia, and that by accepting his shadow, he accepts being gay. But, its the opposite. Kanji accepts he's straight despite liking feminine things. He accepts that he's NOT gay. I understand the intentions. I know his shadow was the way it was because he was accused of being gay and made fun of for liking girlish things, and he internalized it. I know his arc is about toxic masculinity and unlearning it. But Kanji was attracted to men before his arc. He all of a sudden magically becomes straight after accepting his shadow. "But he had a crush on Naoto, who ended up being a girl!" Yeah, I understand. Doesn't change the fact that Naoto presented as a boy, and was completely socially transitioned. At that point, Kanji had literally no reason to think that Naoto was a girl, he completely saw her as a boy. The writers backpedaled on his attraction to boys. It implies being attracted to the same sex is something you can change, and that it's worth changing. Not to mention, his entire arc is played off as a joke. his shadow is a "pervert queer" because its "haha funny" for a masculine man to like men. It's a mockery.

Naoto's shadow isn't nearly as insulting, showing the main focus of Naoto's arc; nobody respects her as a detective because she's a teenage girl. However, Naoto herself says she doesn't like being a girl when her shadow reveals the fact that she's a girl. Yes, it's because she's ridiculed and disregarded because she's not a man, but she's still uncomfortable as a girl and actively chooses to present as a boy, even after gaining her persona. She is undeniably transcoded, at the very least, before she accepts her shadow. She accepts that she's not taken seriously, that she IS all the things that people look down on her for being, and that she IS actually a girl. Again, while not doing a complete 180, the writers back out of Naoto wanting to be a boy. Even though her arc isn't as abysmally insulting as Kanji's, it still sells the narrative that trans people need to accept that they "aren't trans, just pretending,"

No matter how you look at it, the "moral of the story" for both Kanji and Naoto is that being gay or trans isn't something you should accept about yourself. Both Kanji and Naoto have queer themes in their stories, even if the writers backed out and effectively gave the opposite message. They're queercoded, end of story. For us queers to reject the homophobic + transphobic themes and decide "no, actually these characters ARE gay" is completely reasonable. Who are you to tell us that we aren't allowed to reject the honestly disrespectful writing from a triple A game franchise? Why wouldn't we dislike the way the characters are written? And why do you only complain when its the two characters that are so close to being queer rep?

I 100% understand and respect people who disagree with the headcanons, but those who mock and make fun of people who do consider Kanji and Naoto to be queer? That's something I can't accept.

TL;DR: People choose to interpret Kanji and Naoto as queer because of the queer themes in their arcs. The same themes that the writers completely backpedaled on, and ended up implying harmful things on instead.

[cyziel]

i'm thinking about yosuke again and it makes me so annoyed because of how hard atlus dropped the ball with him. it's very obvious that they made his character arc with the intention of him being a closeted high schooler in the year 2011 that struggles with internalized homophobia who learns to finally accept himself, but then randomly decided to cut out the payoff to all of the setup so it just makes him extremely homophobic. the whole game is about accepting the part of yourself that you hate, and yosuke coming to terms with his bisexuality throughout the course of the story fits into that theme perfectly.

it's small stuff like this and so many other moments that make much more sense with the context of him originally being planned on having a romance route. he projects his idea of "manliness" and what's "right" onto both others and himself to make up for the social stigma placed onto him by society; he's trying to convince himself that he's "normal" so he can fit in. him feeling ostracized because he's the manager of junes' son is a blatant parallel to this, and the two of them could've easily been intertwined.

"i like you" in japanese is "ore, omae ga suki da" 《俺、 お前 が 好き だ》 -> known as the most common form of a love confession in japan and is almost always used romantically, especially given the context

this is an obviously repressed queer kid who has been struggling to grasp his sexuality and growing feelings for yu; there is so much subtext throughout the game that has all culminated to this moment—or at least, should've culminated to this moment. but it didn't.

funnily enough, i don't think it was atlus projecting their bigotry onto him at first until p4g, but making a genuine attempt at a good character arc that, much like the rest of persona 4, misses the mark in the worst way possible despite being so close to saying something meaningful (cough kanji and naoto). it's like they chickened out at the last second, but "forgot" to take out the parts that just make him a homophobic asshole with the context removed—and then even doubled down on it in p4g lmao. the thing i'm confused about is that hoshino (the former director of the persona series who is extremely disgusting and bigoted) was... already in the company when the lines were recorded??? so i'm baffled as to why they were allowed to come up with it in the first place before deciding against it.

this could've been really great and realistic representation that could've helped other queer people who were going through the same thing yosuke was—especially in the year 2008—and i'm super disappointed that they decided to cut it. persona 4 is about confronting the problematic elements about yourself, and i cannot think of a greater example of this than yosuke and his internalized homophobia.

(bonus: the closet is made out of glass)

[blessingera]

my reasons why i love rui

hello!

before that, i would like to say that rui is the most unique characters in project sekai in terms of his design and lore.

look at his passionate in robots. so cute and sweet.

okay, first of all, i wanna say that his hair designs is something pretty. the combination of purple and cyan in his hair depicts diversity, as if clpl describes rui as a character who accepts diversity no matter what. if we can take this with semiotics, purple means wisdom, and cyan means calm. it means rui sees the diversity by wisdom and peaceful.

you know, i also love to spell his name. since rui's name in kanji means "variety" and his hair colors mean "diversity" if i say this with semiotics study, i think there is an implied relationship between the meaning of his hair colors and his name in kanji.

remember about his bloomfes story? i can say his character development is something realistic. we can see his 5 stages of grief there. i remember when elementary school rui was in denial-anger situation because of his loneliness and slowly in middle school (also high school) he began to accept his situation, while going through bargaining and depression.

here is the denial side of elementary school rui. (translate from japanese: "in other words, i wanna deny the lonely me-")

and here is the way rui accepted his situation and being patient. (translate from japanese: "because we know pain, we can be kind to others, and because we know sadness, we understand the importance of smiling.")

he is the gentle person and has a sincere heart. the way he treats his friends is very appreciated. he also really treasures every moment with his friends, especially to tsukasa, his positive influence. he knows how to empathize and return the favor to someone. even though he was considered as a weird, crazy, freak, or something out of the box, he is a genius and has 1001 ways to explore something interesting in his own way!

bonus: rui has a history being tsundere when he was in elementary school and it makes me adore him so much, hahaha.

don't forget that the way he speaks english fluently was something sexy, i admit it. you should know his sexy aura increased by 12000% during he speaks english!

i also love the way he bonds his good relationship with his mom. remember about his "revival my dream" event? he trusted his mom when she said that it's okay to be a weird and indirectly said "just be yourself". his mom understood his feelings, and rui did too. he is such a kind boy, isn't he?

okay, that's all about kamishiro rui in my opinion! here is my favorite costume from his card "tasogare no kagayaki" (yeah, i love tactician rui so much i could die without him).

thank you!

[symphonic-scream]

Okay.

New Arcana Swap

(tag for now is Transboy Haru I need a new name for this I know)

Anyways. It's been like 2 hours here's everything I have so far

So it's a Fool Haru au, but as a trans guy. He's been transitioning since the year before he started high school, and he's had top surgery. Now he's in his final year, and he's being shipped out to Tokyo after a summer in Juvi, all for something he didn't do

Toranosuke Yoshida as the Hierophant with Goro as the Hermit too it's. This ex politician who has been adopting these kids who's rich and important parents abandon them

Emperor Makoto. And then with Makoto, she's been "staying" with Kobayakawa as a pupil and StuCo Prez, and once he's confessed, she reaches out to her sister and returns home to live with Hanged Man Sae. She's sorta non-binary genderfluid? She doesn't have a term coined yet. But pronouns vary each day

Makoto: thanks, so much. For saving me, for helping me find my sister again, for accepting who I am, and- and for loving me,

Haru: oh, Mako dearest,

Makoto, crying: d-dont look at me like that, Loverboy. Just- let's hurry, the others are waiting

(in case you couldn't tell yet, this is Okujima)

Haru: hey why are you so close with that pharmacist?

Yoshida: oh, cause. I take pills?

It's cause Goro's on anti-psychotics lmao

It's how he so easily got Haru in with the counsellor Death Maruki

Maruki: yep, I see your files are completely true. So, I'll get you set up with your old regime of hormones

Haru: just like that?

Maruki: yep, but I also have to give you anger management sessions. Your parole demands it

Haru: ...I understand. Just, thank you. For understanding who I am

Chariot Shiho and Lovers Futaba, and the Temperance is Kanji-

Cause his husband is the Judgement and their wife is Fortune-

Moon Joker, Magician Ryuji (he's a lil lizard), Star Ann, Empress, uh, Yusuke?

Shiho a recovering amputee. She got in an accident that ended her volleyball career, but she's trying to not get too depressed about it

She cost them the national title. She ends up starting her training again to aim for the Paralympics, and manages the school team

Shiho: hey, why was Shit Head calling you a girl?

Haru: I, I'm trans,

Shiho: THAT BASTARD! Urgh, I'm so sorry, I know a teacher who'll help report that bullshit. I'm Shiho Suzui, school cripple. Nice to meet you, transfer boy

Haru: thanks, I'm Haru Yoshida. Thanks for not, freaking out on ke

Ryuji's a little bearded dragon in the real world

And MORGANA! He's like, Shinya's age? Human

He's playing the hero, trying to take down the Yakuza that ruined his family and left him alone, but he's young and scared, and the group saves him and he moves in with Yoshida too and he's like Haru's little brother

Goro: you're getting soft, old man.

Yoshida: maybe I am. Or maybe, I'm finally doing what I was meant to all along

He runs a homey beef bowl shop and Haru helps out, and Morgana sits at the counter slurping his noodles and Goro studies away in the back booth. Little family of three brothers

Goro: thanks for changing my heart, I guess

Futaba: no problem, man

Goro: ...I, feel like I need to tell you all. My mom was schizophrenic, and I've been being treated for it since Yoshida took me in. I, I'm gonna get myeds adjusted too. So I can be reliable for you all as navigator

Shiho: whatever you need to be yourself, and to be healthy

Haru: and if you end up like that again, we'll race back in and save you

It's shown in how his palace would change every other day. Like if you wait too long the infiltration route changes

Once he's doing better again, he gets back into school, and ends up in the other third year class with Makoto

Goro: your partner is a pain in my ass. They're making it hard to get that #1 spot

Haru: isn't my love so smart?

Goro: fucking gross. Bleh. I'm going to go watch a documentary on serial killers.

Toranosuke and his three sons, such a proud dad

Haru doesn't leave Tokyo at the end of the year. He gets formally adopted, and moves from the attic to the proper Yoshida house

Naoto: so. You're the leader of the Phantom Thieves?

Haru: ...what's it matter how I answer? They got their signed confession.

Naoto: I knew it, there was no way they'd have gotten a genuine one so quickly... Those bastards... Well, hopefully our chat can clear things up. Tell me, why'd you do it? How? The more I know, the better I can help you out

Naoto recognizes the boy from his husband's class roster, from his chats about the transfer boy that seemed to affect everyone around him

Naoto: so. Your dad kicked you out?

Haru: yes. Not for being a boy, he accepted that part of me. No, I caught on about some of his shadier business deals. So, he framed me for assault, disowned me. I got lucky, that Mr Yoshida agreed to house me, otherwise I would have probably ended up back in Juvi,

Okay this is getting too long so MORE UNDER THE CUT BUT WHAT DO YALL THINK LEMME KNOW

Okay. More

Shiho with her slight hobble cause of her prosthetic, and when she just *can't* wear it, she's on crutches, Like at the beach

She wears her leg to the beach, but takes it off when Makoto and Morgana egg her into running out to the water with them. Makoto loads her onto their back until they reach the water and then it's just. Splashing and fun

Goro's reading a book while Ryuji lies on a towel in the sun, soaking in the heat. Haru and Futaba are munching on popsicles and watching the others

Two Jokers

Moon is Akira, and Ren was in Shiho's role

They're Futaba's foster brothers. So that's why Futaba really wants to join up. To avenge Ren. And it's why Akira helps out

Futaba: hey, so Ren's awake. He's going to need physical therapy, but he's keeping all his parts. He's, also going to testify. He won't be returning to Shujin,

Akira: he's going to finish at Kosei. It'll be a better fit for him

Makoto, fluid, having more they or he days but still having she days. Masc she days, but still

Coloured bandanas around their upper arm for their different days. Now embracing their baby punk side

And smiling so much more, back home with their sister and able to be themselves with support, and having friends and a sweet boyfriend

Hifumi for the Faith and. Justice Kasumi and Sumire TRSUT ME

Haru: hey!

Makoto, wearing a dark red bandana: hey Loverboy, can I get a kiss?

Haru: course, love. How's my girl today?

Makoto: feeling great, Sis and I are going out tonight. She said you're welcome to join if you want? And then maybe come over after later to "study"?

Haru: how can I say no to you?

[yatsurinamikaze]

Wager (first) - (second) - (third) - (fourth) - (fifth) - (sixth) - (seventh) - (eight) - (ninth)

tw// shit show, cringe, word vomit, objectification, shitty writing, grammatical errors, curse words.

Oikawa Tooru x Reader, Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader

Summary: They strike a bet. The Wager? You.

Days blur into weeks, and the routine you’ve built with Ushijima becomes a comforting rhythm in your life. Despite the initial awkwardness, you’ve grown close in a way that surprises you both.

You help him plan his diet meals, carefully balancing his protein intake with the right amount of carbs and nutrients. In return, he patiently assists you with your Japanese writing, his calm and methodical approach guiding you through the intricacies of kanji and grammar.

You spend evenings together watching volleyball matches on TV, analyzing plays and strategies. Sometimes, you share the poems you’ve written, reading them aloud while he listens intently, his quiet presence reassuring you in a way you hadn’t expected. It’s a steady rhythm, and you find yourself liking it—liking him.

One day, when you visit Ushijima’s school, Semi catches you in the hallway, his expression sheepish as he approaches.

“Hey, Y/N,” he begins, rubbing the back of his neck. “I, uh… I wanted to apologize for the whole texting thing. It was a stupid joke, and I didn’t think about how it would affect you. I’m really sorry.”

You grin after accepting Semi's apology and say, "Alright, Semi, I forgive you… on one condition. You have to serenade the team with a song of my choice during the next practice."

Semi, looking a bit nervous but curious, asks, "What song?"

You pulls out your phone, scroll for a moment, and then show him the screen with a mischievous smile. "I think you’d do a great job with ‘Barbie Girl’ by Aqua. Full performance, choreography included. And no backing out!" You point a finger at him.

Semi’s eyes widen, but he knows he has to go through with it.

The next practice has everyone cracking on the floor as Semi belts out the lyrics, much to the amusement of everyone around. Even though it’s embarrassing, he takes it in stride, and you can’t help but laugh the entire time.

He smiles in relief looking at you, and just like that you become a part of their pack.

Meanwhile, your interactions with Tooru have shifted into a delicate, unspoken dance. When you pass each other in the hallways, there’s a moment, in slow-motion—a fleeting exchange of smiles, eyes lingering on each others for just a heartbeat longer than necessary—before one of you looks away.

True to his promise, Tooru took care of the bullies, and they’ve since apologized, leaving you in peace. But the distance between you and Tooru remains, and it’s a chasm you’re not sure you want to bridge.

One afternoon, you’re leaving the chemistry lab, distracted by the constant pings on your phone, when you hear a familiar voice coming from an empty classroom nearby. You pause, your heart suddenly pounding in your chest.

“You’ve got no idea what you’re doing to me, do you?” Tooru’s voice is low, almost a growl, dripping with flirtatious intent.

A girl’s laugh follows, breathy and playful. “Maybe you should show me, Oikawa.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you feel a sick twist in your stomach. You can’t help but imagine the scene unfolding behind the door, Tooru’s hands on her, his lips close to hers. The thought makes your blood run cold.

“You really want that?” he says smugly, his voice dangerously smooth. “Because once I start, I’m not going to stop until you’re begging for more.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Your heart races, your hands trembling as you try to steady yourself. You told yourself you were over him, that you’d moved on, but hearing him like this—hearing him with someone else—makes you realize just how wrong you were.

Your breath catches, and before you can stop yourself, your phone slips from your hand, clattering loudly against the tiled floor. Tooru's eyes snap towards you. Panic surges through you, and without thinking, you turn and run, your footsteps echoing through the hallway as you flee towards the parking lot.

“Y/N!” Tooru’s voice calls after you, sharp with concern, but you don’t stop. You can’t stop. The air feels too thick, too suffocating, and all you want is to get away, to escape the reality that’s crashing down around you.

By the time you reach the parking lot, Tooru catches up to you, grabbing your arm and spinning you around to face him. His eyes are wide, searching yours for an explanation.

“Hey?” he demands, his voice tinged with frustration.

You wrench your arm free, the anger and confusion bubbling up inside you until it spills out in a rush of words. “What?”

Tooru comes to a halt in front of you, his expression filled with worry and confusion. “Are you… are you okay? What happened?”

The concern in his voice, the genuine worry in his eyes, only serves to fuel the fire burning inside you. How can he ask that? How can he pretend like he doesn’t know what’s wrong?

“What happened?” you repeat, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt. “You were all over her!"

He looks taken aback, his brows furrowing as he tries to make sense of your outburst. “I thought that’s what you wanted! You’re the one who said we should move on, and now you’re getting upset because… what? Because I’m trying to do what you asked?”

The raw emotion in his voice cuts through your defenses, and you realize, with a sinking feeling, that he’s right. You did want to move on. You told yourself that you had. But the truth is, your heart never really let go.

“I don’t know what I want!” you shout, the words spilling out before you can stop them.

"We..we are broken up yn." Tooru says with sincerity.

The tears threatening to spill out earlier, find its way streaming down your cheeks. You whisper, "So what Tooru? It obviously hurt."

Tooru’s face softens, and for a moment, he looks as if he’s about to reach out to you, to pull you into his arms like he used to. But instead, he steps back, his expression torn between anger and something softer, more painful.

“You need to make up your mind, Y/N,” he says quietly, his voice strained. “Because I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep waiting around, hoping you’ll choose me again. "

"I..Im not asking you to wait." You look down.

"I’m leaving for Argentina after the year ends. I got an offer to play volleyball there, and I’m not going to pass it up. " Your head snaps up to look at him. This is all too soon and sudden for you.

He repeats, "I’m not going to pass it up", he takes a brief pause, "Not unless I have a reason to stay.”

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you breathless and reeling. “Argentina?” you whisper, your voice barely audible.

He nods, his eyes locked onto yours. “Yeah. This is my dream, Y/N. But you were always a part of that dream too. I need to know if you still want to be a part of my life, or if it’s time for us both to move on.. for good.”

You’re speechless, the weight of his ultimatum pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket. You don’t know what to say, what to think. The confusion and hurt are too overwhelming, and all you can do is stand there, frozen in place.

Tooru’s shoulders sag, and he looks away, the resignation in his expression breaking your heart all over again. “Just… make up your mind, before it's too late. ” he says, his voice so soft it almost gets lost in the evening breeze. Then, without another word, he turns and walks away, leaving you standing in the parking lot, alone and shattered.

Masterlist

[daily-hanamura]

I kind of wished that the persona 4 cast wasn’t stuck in a narrative where the main theme is ‘always accept the role thrust upon you and if you don’t like it, just force yourself to like it’. Yukiko actively wants to leave Inaba and create her own life, but is portrayed negatively when doing so, with her character arc involving her accepting the role thrust upon her. Don’t get me started on Naoto. I know you’re the Yosuke guy, and was wondering what are your thoughts on this when applied to Yosuke?

I want you to know that being called "the Yosuke guy" is now my greatest achievement you've made my day everyday for the last week

I do agree with you, and I think it was one of my initial issues with P4 where, for a game whose entire narrative is about being true to yourself, it sure falls back into that tired sense of social conformation a lot. It's grating, right, because it feels like what they really mean to say is "be yourself! but not too much and not in a way that makes other people unhappy and make sure you're still living up to other peoples expectations because that's the real reason why you're unhappy with yourself, you haven't accepted who we want you to be (which is the real you that we've decided) etcetc" and it just undercuts the emotional impact of their self-acceptance (see also kanji and rise). (dw I know P5 also kind of has the same problem, and I can go into a whole thing about the limits of transformative narratives written by capitalist corporations but i wont. today-)

I think with Yosuke though, it's really interesting because his character arc is more so tied to his relationship with Inaba as a place, rather than his fundamental self-perceptions. It's established early on that Yosuke hated the town for various reasons; he's a city boy who wants excitement and connection, but most of the town hates him so he's shit out of luck and it gives him little reason to like the town back. As the game progresses, he starts to like the town -- "it's not about where you are, but who you're with", so it's his friendships (and having people who accept him for who he is) that makes the place meaningful for him. And, at the end of the day, Yosuke did get what he wanted - excitement and connection.

But he's not tied to Inaba.

In P4AU, it's revealed that Yosuke's struggling to figure out what he wants to do in life, but by the end of it he tells Yu that he wants to leave the town and go to college with Yu in the city, and that he wants to see the world and experience more things for himself. It fascinates me because it very strongly implies that Yosuke's arc isn't complete as we're very expressly told that he's still developing. It stands in contrast to the other characters who have effectively been fixed into some role or position (Yukiko as an inn manager, Rise as an idol), and unlike them, Yosuke hasn't been permanently relegated to the things that he starts off hating. He hasn't been written to stay in Inaba or even to continue working at Junes after graduation, instead he gets the opportunity to try things. imo this makes his arc more situational (and therefore layered) - Yosuke's perspective on his circumstance matures, but who he is as a person doesn't have to change, and he's not forced to make a trade-off with the wishes he had at the start.

This might be because Yosuke is Atlus' favourite character of the contrast between Yosuke's city background and the rest of the Inaba folk. There's a guy in the school who talks about how most people who finish high school in Inaba just go on to get jobs, and very few actually leave for college and beyond. It's something deeply realistic and reflective of human geography IRL, because that's very common in small communities. A fear of the outside world because of how isolated they are (and Inaba kind of is - remember how Yosuke said they barely had cell connectivity up until recently) means they tend to look inwards instead of out, so there isn't as strong an awareness of what else there is out there and a belief that your options are basically just that (it also makes it all the more impressive that they have surprisingly well-traveled teachers). Yosuke, on the other hand, is very much connected to the internet and the outside world, and he also tends to think about the things that he's missing out on more tangibly.

It makes for a very interesting parallel with Yukiko, who had grown up in Inaba all her life and also expresses that same interest in wanting to go out and see the world. Yukiko's idea about the kind of options that she has is weirdly limited for someone who is supposed to be at the top of her class. When you meet her at the bookstore, she talks about getting a job license so she could leave town, and her first thought was interior decorator (do you even need a license for that? it's not a chartered profession unlike an architect or interior designer, but things might work differently in japan). And maybe she does have a genuine interest in it so I'm talking shit, but it also feels like it's a job that she's aware of only because of the ryokan. As far as I could tell, we don't actually see her express any interest in, say, furniture themes or colour swatches and fabric textures in the way Kanji very clearly does. Her world view, like everyone else, is bounded by the reach of her experience, but because Inaba is so small and cloistered it impedes her ability to imagine beyond that. Even when she's thinking of leaving, her options are still limited to her experiences at the inn. I'm still really salty about how she decided to stay at the ryokan in the end, because something much more satisfying in my opinion would have been for her to get the opportunity to try different things elsewhere in the world, and if she decided that the ryokan was the right thing for her, then, well, fine, I guess? Or some cliche like exploring other inns elsewhere so she could bring that knowledge home. Especially since she had the support of her family and the inn staff, it makes her narrative feel more like an acceptance of her lot in life, rather than a genuine realisation that yeah, this was what she wanted, which was what the game wanted us to think, except it's not convincing. Instead, it just feels like a weird stagnation because her initial wish of wanting to see the world beyond the ryokan was not satisfied.

But hey, guess who does!

Yosuke gets to learn how to make the best of a situation, but ultimately, he's not beholden to it. He - and his writers - understand that he's not done growing, so he doesn't fix himself to a role that he doesn't like. AND IT'S GOOD. I just wish everyone else got that opportunity.

[notayamichan]

🌟 Learning Japanese 🇯🇵

🔔　あたしのガイドは、人が英語を話す向けー　(⁠◔⁠‿⁠◔⁠)

The following guide is based on my personal experience. I am not an authority on the matter and I am still barely a beginner regarding Japanese.

What am I doing?

Learning languages seems non-lienar and that's partly true (at an intermediate level). But, when you're first starting out, there's generally clear goals to work toward.

Your Beginner Goals

Study and master kana

Japanese employs hiragana and katakana in conjunction with kanji. Together, hiragana and katakana make up kana.

Learn the kana (hiragana and katakana)

Learn the difference between kunyomi and onyomi (kanji)

Delve into grammar and establish some foundational vocab

Immerse yourself with input content (movies, shows, etc)

Study and practice a basic form of "pitch accent"

Continue developing your vocab and particle knowledge

Learn about polite versus casual talk and social culture

Use the language (letters, blog, diary, etc)

Seek conversations to apply the language properly

Find and study tests like JLPT to gauge your progress

What can I use?

Duolingo

If this was your first pick, you're naive but not foolish. It'll teach you enough to get help if you're lost in Japan. But it won't be enough to hold a conversation. Give it a try and see if it works for you. Duolingo is free.

I recommend using Duolingo as a supplementary learning tool rather than your primary learning tool

Textbooks and Guides

Many learners and even classes praise numerous textbooks. I for one received a recommendation for Tae Kim's Japanese Guide. So, I'll recommend it to you. Don't be afraid to see out other guides or attempt some textbooks. However, one should always remember that the textbook is NOT demonstrative of naturalistic Japanese.

For example, 「私は猫が好きです」 is what a textbook correctly teaches, though 「猫好きだよ」 is acceptable and more natural in casual Japanese

Building vocabulary

If you want to develop your vocabulary, you can use JLPT anki decks. Anki is a flashcard program for desktop and mobile. You can also use anki in conjunction with a dictionary like Jisho to create new flashcards decks (suited to the words you'd like to learn). You may also pick up vocab from Japanese media (i.e, anime, manga, books, content creators, music, etc).

If you're using Jisho and want to find a word you only know in English, search for it using quotation marks. For example, "school" or, if you want a verb "to learn" ~ it should help. You can spell out Japanese words normally by just typing... i.e, watashi.

Good input versus Bad input

Immersing yourself in Japanese media and culture is good but you need to be mindful of the content you're consuming— take note of the context behind events, interactions, or the relationship of speakers. Be especially mindful of anime and manga— both are known to use hyperbolic language or phrases that aren't commonly used in day to day conversation. Fortunately, some anime and manga do use everyday language, and you can usually find lists.

I recommend using the Tofugu blog to learn about both Japanese language and culture. But if you don't like reading, there are many YT channels like Kaname Naito and NihongoDekita with Sayaka. For general immersion though, here's a sweet vlog channel, a JP Warframe creator, and a natural born otaku.

[thebearme]

Thinking about Yu having a shadow + a palace is interesting because of the possibilities.

But here one idea for it:

Yu's shadow is a malformation of everyone's shadow.

Let's think about it!

Yosuke: The feeling of covering your feelings with surrounding yourself with people; to not be alone. Yu contently surrounding their self's with bonds to not be alone.

Chie: The feeling of surrounding yourself with people that NEED you. To make yourself feel superior and cover your inferiority. Yu is constantly surrounded by people who are willing to traumadump on to them, He is constantly surrounded by people who have "worster" problems then him. Which can easily turn into a "[Blank] has it worse then me" "compared to everyone else I have no issues".

Yukiko: Waiting and longingly wanting someone to SAVE you from your own helplessness. Yu's feeling of the town, their situation, the feeling of wanting to run away from there and go back home. OR! Yu hoping that somebody anybody would love him to get rid of this feeling of inadequates, to help him run away from the the expectations of everything.

Kanji: Hiding Your feelings (and sexuality) with machoness (or being a chad in this case) to protect yourself from denial of acceptance. Yu becoming a chad and is conveniently perfect at everything didn't come out of no where. It's a front that keeps people around, something that gives a machoman leader that no one question.

Rise: Willing change yourself to satisfy others in such big extent and losing yourself in the making. This can be it's own post but heres a summary. In every social link Yu has to say what the person want him to say, do what they want him to do instead of being their self or just being a regular friend. Yu has to be the PERFECT friend, the PERFECT leader, the PERFECT student, the PERFECT big bro, the PERFECT partner.

Naoto: Making yourself more MATURE to fit with the adult of society so you can be USEFUL and not just thrown away. If it wasn't a issue enough that Yu feels like that have the responsibility on fixing their friends problems then Yu fixing the adults problems as well is. Yu makes themselves more mature for their age to be relied on not just their friends but grownups as well.

Namatame: Helping people to the point where your superiority complex turns into a savior complex. In every social link Yu fixes the problems in that person's life.

Adachi: Interestingly enough Adachi motif is what I imagine Yu's original feelings about being in Inaba. Yu knows he's only going to be here for a year, they're not going to be here long. So what's the point of making friends and getting cozy with people if it's not going to matter in the end. Just get good grades, keep your head low and everything will be fine.

!BONUS! Mitsuo: This was explored in the anime but let me still cover this. The feeling that no matter how much effort Yu does to people please, to be useful, mature, manly and ect. It all didn't matter, all his friendships and bonds were just superficial, no matter what Yu will always be a empty human-being and no one would want to stay with a lying manipulative savior complex. So why try fighting it? just accept it, You'll always be alone.

All of this leads to my idea that Shadow Yu will hold much more respect for the IT then Yu but still babys everyone. Thinking that he's the ONLY one that can fix you by becoming what you want. Shadow Yu would constantly traps you, making sure you don't LEAVE the palace so you don't LEAVE HIM.

[kamsspice]

i'm playing P4G and i just got to the part where the gang are in the camp and yosuke tells kanji to prove to him that he's straight and can i say, the conversation i've seen surrounding this topic is so frustrating.

people insist that "it's how a teenager was in that time" as if it excuses the fact that he said what he did. people focus the narrative on the status quo and as such, we shouldn't criticise the writing because that's how things are. but none of the conversation considers the impact of the supposed status quo on the individual - kanji in this instance - and how it makes them feel. because to excuse yosuke's words and discredit the homophobia is to say he was justified in the words that he said. that he is right to feel uncomfortable about the possibility of kanji being gay because of his Shadow Self. but nobody ever questions Yosuke's assumptions are wrong. It's up for Kanji to prove to Yosuke he isn't like that.

and it's just really annoying because it implies that for Kanji to not feel made other, he shouldn't behave in a certain way. it's never questioning whether yosuke's line of thinking is wrong. and it's just annoying watch it all play out without being able to push back properly.

and it pisses me off even more when people genuinely give a pass to team atlus for being for the gays because of the options to joke that you are gay because the reality that being gay in their stories is a joke.

this game really is a glimpse into what it was like to be queer in the 2000s and for a game whose thesis is to accept the other part of yourself that you hide, it doesn't seem to give that same grace for its queercoded character.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Hi!!!! I'm a big big big Kanji Mochizuki Lover.

And If you don't mind, I've been wanting to write a smut that revolves around him neglecting his arrange wife and her trying to go out on date but he realized that he has fallen for her after all these years.

Thank you so so so so much!

OF COURSE! I love this idea.

The First: Kanji Mochizuki x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.5k

tw: smut

masterlist

"Kanji?" Mochi looks up from the papers on his desk, his eyes focusing not on words - but on his wife. You're standing in the doorway of his office, wearing the nightgown he'd gotten you for your birthday.

"Hmm?" You shift nervously, looking down at your manicured fingernails before glancing up at him. "What's going on?"

You open your mouth a few times before finally coming out with the information. Your request comes out softly and timidly. "Our anniversary is coming up soon and..." You pause. Mochi pushes back from his desk and leans back in his chair, frowning. "I was wondering if we could... I'd like to go out and spend some time with you."

Mochi isn't sure why he didn't measure his words more carefully. Maybe he could have avoided the consequences if he had. "I'm swamped with work this week," he begins, rubbing his face. Your face drops as soon as he speaks, and your eyes glaze over with tears. "Maybe we could figure something out when I'm not so busy."

"It's fine," you rush out. "We don't have to do anything..." Mochi watches you turn around and close his door, then listens to your retreating footsteps. And then he's left to think about the past, present, and even the future.

The arrangement had been swift, somewhat unexpected, but altogether acceptable. You were beautiful, kind, quiet... A year ago, though, Mochi didn't have a marriage as a top priority in his life. He'd been knee-deep in Bonten and unfocused on things of a domestic nature. Mochi's father and mother thought it high time he married, though, and that's how you waltzed into his life.

You don't know the real him - he pays good money to ensure all of his shady business stays away from his home, including the pesky Haitani crew - and Mochi would like things to stay that way for your benefit and protection. He gave you enough money to live comfortably; what you did with that money didn't concern him. Mochi even had sex with you semi-regularly, and he thought it was satisfying enough...

"Oh, god." He leans back in his seat and realizes the truth that's been staring him in his face. Mochi jolts up from his office chair and rushes toward your shared bedroom. Before Mochi can reach the door, he hears you murmuring to yourself in shaky tones.

"It's okay," you chant to yourself, and Mochi peers at you through the crack in the door. "It's fine. I'll just... try harder." You turn from your perch at the dressing table, and Mochi sees the phone against your ear. You pause, listening, then nod slowly. "I know, mom." Mochi's heart stops. "I'll do better. I can be a good wife, don't worry about it. Bye."

A sick feeling settles in Mochi's stomach. You toss your phone onto the bed and wrap your arms around yourself before biting your lip. Tears track down your face, and you cry silently, wiping your tears away with trembling hands. Part of Mochi wants to let you have your moment alone - this wasn't meant for him to see. But the other part of him wants to comfort you - this was a problem he caused.

He presses the door open, and remorse floods into his veins as you look at him and hurriedly wipe your tears away. "Hey," you breathe, wiping your hands on your dress. "Sorry, I was just--"

Mochi shakes his head and cups your cheeks, rubbing at the tear marks and your swollen eyes. "I haven't been a decent husband, have I?" You don't reply, but a fresh set of tears is enough of an answer for him. "We should talk about it."

"That's the most comforting thing you've ever said," you reply sadly.

"We should discuss it over dinner. I'll order whatever you want."

"I'm not hungry." The admission makes Mochi even more remorseful, but you sit on the bed and pat the space next to you. "We can talk right here." Mochi does as you say and sits beside you, taking your hands in his and inhaling deeply. Finally, he lets the breath go through his nose and nods.

"Ask me anything."

"Do you care about me?" The question comes out quicker than anticipated, and Mochi tilts his head.

"I do. Deeply." If only you knew how much.

"Why aren't you intimate with me?"

"We have sex," Mochi begins slowly. "I'm not sure--"

"You don't hold me afterward. Often, I feel that you'd rather be somewhere else once things are done. Like it's a chore for you."

"I--" Your face changes. Brows furrow, eyes narrow, and suddenly, you're pissed.

"And you're always so busy." Mochi flinches, looking away from your displeased face.

"Bonten is..." Before he can retract his words, the one thing he'd kept from you comes to light. Your face morphs into shock, and you tug your hands away from his.

"Bonten."

You know what that is. Who they are. What they do. Mochi gets to his feet, placing his hands in his pockets before pacing the room. He can hear your angry admonitions already, each bringing him shame and regret. But when your mouth doesn't open at all, he turns to look at you.

And you're there, hands in your lap and eyes watching him for any sign of danger. But there he is, just pacing around the cage of a house he's trapped you in like a big cat, surrounding you with lies and half-truths. You have every right to be angry and scream at him... but you're silent.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this," he rushes out, running his hands through his hair. "You're innocent in all of this, I know. I should have told you when we were engaged. But I just thought if I could keep this one part of my life out of that mess, I could--" He breaks off, his words choked up in his tightening throat. "But it turns out that I can't do any of this right."

"Oh." His mind stops working overtime when your voice pipes up, just as soft as ever. "I suppose I don't really know you, do I?"

"And I don't really know you," Mochi replies sadly. "You have every right to divorce me." It's his final gift, his final way of making things right for you. "I'll sign if you want to leave; give you the house, whatever you want."

"What if I just want to get to know the real you?" Mochi stops pacing. You get up from the bed, walking over to him in that flimsy little thing he got you to appease the requirement of a birthday gift. He supposes he got lucky because you wear it often. "Hi," you begin, sticking out your hand for a handshake. "I'm y/n. It's nice to meet you..."

"Kanji Mochizuki," Mochi replies, shaking your hand firmly and smiling a bit. And it's silly - the show of reintroducing yourself to your wife of a year - but somehow, it works.

It works so well, in fact...

"Mochi!" Ran shouts from across the street, waving his hand at the giant. "Thanks for bringing your wife this time!"

"It was her idea," Mochi asserts. "Watch your step, sweetheart," he murmurs, and you hop lightly over the puddle before smiling back at Ran.

"Bye, Ran! It was nice to get to know you!" Mochi can hear Ran laugh from the other side of the street, but he only waves to the purple-haired man and opens your car door. "I can't wait to get home," you breathe, and Mochi chuckles.

"Eager to get warm?" You peer up at him with a sultry look, and Mochi feels his pants restrict a little.

"You'll see."

When Mochi gets you in the door, you practically drag him to the bedroom and strip him out of his clothing. "Baby," Mochi hurries out, trying his best to hold on to some semblance of decorum. "Maybe we should slow down and take it easy?"

"I can't," you breathe, getting to your knees and pulling on his belt. "I need you right now."

"Hey," Mochi pants as his slacks fall to the ground. "Love, don't you--" But when his dick finds a warm, wet home in your mouth Mochi groans long and hard. "I'll shut up now." You hum, and instinctively, he knows it means "thank you." Mochi laces his fingers around your head, and his eyes flutter closed, allowing himself to relax and let you do as you please.

"Listen, big boy," you murmur, licking up the side of his cock. "I want you to fuck me tonight."

"I won't last long if you keep sucking me like that," he groans, toes curling painfully. "So, come 'ere." Mochi doesn't even want to take off your clothes when you settle into his lap. His fingers slide your g-string to the side and cradle your hips as you fist his cock hard enough for him to wince.

When you slide your plush cunt over his cockhead, he knows he's done for. Every shred of Mochi's sanity goes out the window, but before he shuts the latch on it, he whispers huskily, "I'm so in love with you, babe."

"I know," you practically sing in his ear as you bottom out on his cock. "Funny how that works when you really get to know someone."

[giuliadesu]

you were 22 when you wore his name between your collarbones.

... & THEN?

two more years had passed. the red string kept sitting snugly in front of your apple watch (another gift from atsumu on a previous birthday), not fading nor giving signs of wear. you took the habit of fidgeting with it whenever you felt stressed or when you were lost deep in focus. sometimes you’d bring the bracelet to your lips and give it a little kiss, as if he could feel it despite the distance — this would usually happen when you were watching msby matches or when you knew the setter had an exam.

it came a little bit as a shock when you realised that you loved him. and not in the way two friends love and care for eachother, but in the “i’d take the first plane to you and drop my life here if only you so much asked” kinda way. yet, it made so much sense: the fluttering in your chest whenever you spoke with him; how you cherished every text message, every silly little picture, every gift — despite telling him you didn’t want to be spoiled and that he didn’t have to waste (spend, atsumu would correct) money on you. he made you feel safe, accepted, loved in a way that felt magical. you’d never experienced such affection directed at you, so thinking and knowing someone would go out of their way just to be with you and spend time together was unreal.

at some point, you felt confident enough to reveal to him the full extent of the bad blood in between your family and you. starting from how they never supported any of the things you were interested in or you applied yourself to, going as far as making fun of it in front of friends and acquaintances alike. finally, when the acceptance letter from the university reached your inbox, it felt as if breaking free from heavy chains that constantly and painfully held you down. you moved, got a part-time job to support yourself and be completely independent from your family; despite that, they paid the university fees simply because you lied when telling them what was the major of your choice. that greatly helped in saving money and actually build your freedom.

when atsumu heard of all that, he became furious. he took it upon himself to never let you feel alone, unwanted or unsupported. you were his first thought in the morning and the last one before he went to bed; your pretty face was constantly on his mind. 

he quickly realised he was deeply, madly in love with you. there was no other possible explanation for the warmth he felt when he was with you — albeit virtually. the setter decided to show you every aspect of his life and personality. you were the first person he would call right after a match; showing you his famous pr smile when they won, or the dark shade of his eyes when they lost. your voice always managed to soothe him and bring him back from the post-loss frustration that made him see red.

considering how important you were to him, atsumu was determined to keep you in his life for the longest.

ŌSAKA, 10:00

atsumu had been thinking for a long time if the object in front of him was something appropriate to gift you. his profession as a pro athlete allowed him not to worry about the price of many things, so it was safe to assume the problem didn’t lay in the actual cost of it. there was a black, open box sitting on his bed; inside, his jersey and shirt sat neatly folded, and on thom of them a small velvet box, black as well. the real treasure was guarded in the smaller box: an only-platinum necklace consisting of the kanji making his surname (宮), completely studded in small diamonds. the chain was almost invisible, and he knew the length would have been perfect for it to rest precisely in the soft spot between your collarbones. 

glancing at the clock on the wall, he realised he had to cut his contemplations short: the express and private courier he hired to deliver the present would arrive by his apartment soon. sighing, atsumu closed the box and sealed it properly so it wouldn’t break (and to shield it from prying eyes). after the courier assured him the package would have top priority and be delivered within ten hours, the setter decided to make use of his day off and go to onigiri miya.

“i need you to teach me how to make a very specific kind of ramen.”

“you do realize i make onigiri, yes?”

“oh for fuck’s sake, osamu! we both know you are capable of preparing way more than onigiri!”

two hours later, a steaming cup of ramen sat on the wooden counter of the shop. it had a creamy color, being made with coconut milk as a base for the soup; the udon swam contently together with fried tofu, shiitake mushrooms, spinach, lotus roots, an egg and scallion.

osamu leaned on the countertop, white rag hanging from his shoulder. he had never seen his twin so focused on something that wasn’t volleyball. he was certainly impressed.

“is it for her?”

“... yeah. she once told me it was her favorite dish. man, i sound like an idiot, learning to make what she loves the most when i don’t even know if i’ll ever see her.”

osamu  was about to reply, when he felt his phone vibrate in the backpocket of his trousers. fishing out the device, he read the message.

“hey ‘samu, can you teach me how to make fatty tuna?”

YOUR LOCATION, 12:00

it was a surprisingly chill day. you went for a walk at a park near your house, got a new plant for your apartment, and finally managed to get a present for atsumu’s graduation. while you couldn’t be there in person the msby family (plus suna and osamu) made sure you were there: they kept a constant facetime call, so you could witness the setter getting his degree — and you could also see the look of pure happiness in his eyse when he noticed that somehow you managed to be part of such an important day.

when you reached your doorstep, you noticed a medium size box waiting for you. a smile made its way over your face: it had happened enough times to know that neatly placed and packaged boxes with a small japanese stamp meant atsumu had sent you something.

bringing the box inside, you went over to your bedroom, resting the present gently on the fluffy blanket you kept over the duvet and grabbing your macbook. you quickly shot the pierced guy a message, asking if he was available for a facetime and an unboxing.

“hey cutie! i get you received a little something?”

a pair of silver snakebites appeared on the screen, together with a happy smile and two dimples.

“you wouldn’t happen to know why there was this waiting for me, don’t you?”

you smiled back at him, taking in the fact that he just got out of the shower — a msby towel was around his neck and wet blond hair framing his features.

“me? i don’t know what you’re talking about.” the wink atsumu sent you made a swarm of butterflies take flight in the pit of your stomach. was it really that effortless for him?

you spent the few minutes it took you to open the heavily sealed box chatting a bit and keeping atsumu company as he finished his dinner.

when the lid came off, you weren’t expecting to see another small package. setting it aside (as the setter instructed you), your fingers came in contact with soft, black fabric; pulling it out, you realised it was his jersey and his uniform. the fresh smell of clean sheets was mixed with something more musky and cold, similar to mint.

“you can’t imagine how much i had to beg in order to have a new set! i had to pretend i lost part of my uniform.”

your eyes darted to the screen in bewilderment. this was his uniform. with his smell.

“atsumu, i don’t even know what to say… is it really okay for me to have this? you don’t have to get in trouble for me.”

chocolate eyes softened immediately, the smirk replaced by a sweet smile, and a little blush spreading to his ears.

“i remember you told me that sometimes you hate the fact that you can’t hug me, so i thought this would be a cool alternative, albeit not being the same thing.”

atsumu swore his heart stopped beating when he saw you hug the clothes tightly to your chest and bury your face in the fabric. maybe for your next call he could hope to see you wearing them (and that’s exactly what you did).

“now you can open the smaller box, bubs.”

the nickname made you giggle like a child. you kept the clothes on your thighs while reaching for the black velvety box. your mind brought you back to when he gifted you the red string that still adorned both of your wrists.

“atsumu, i swear to the kami i’m going to kill you. how much did this cost?!”

“do you like it?”

“of course i do! but that’s not the point-”

“it is; if you like it then the cost doesn’t matter.”

the kanji shone brightly, a stark contrast to its dark hiding place. 

“wait. it’s the kanji for your surname.”

to say you were confused was an understatement. in japan one’s surname was an incredibly important part of their identity; you couldn’t wrap your head around why he was giving it to you. your lovesick brain made the obvious connection that you would take his surname, like a married couple. you hoped your room was dark enough to prevent the bright red to show on the screen.

 “i want you to be part of my family. if your own family isn’t capable of understanding the beautiful, smart and perfect person you are… well, that’s on them. mom loves you, ‘samu treats you like a little sister, you are already a part of this family.”

warm tears started streaming down your reddened cheeks. a few drops fell on the necklace, making it shine even brighter. you took a deep breath. you weren’t ready to confess, but there were still things you wanted him to know.

“miya… it means shrine or constellation. you are my safe place, atsumu; the brightest star in any sky, the sun that warms me up on the coldest days.”

atsumu noticed how you didn’t mention his mother or his twin (despite knowing how deeply you cared for them). he watched you with a proud and love-filled gaze as you brought the necklace up to fasten it around your neck. the setter mentally high-fived himself when the pendant sat exactly where he wanted it to. 

and then he decided he could be even bolder. bringing his left wrist into view, his lips went to rest on the small string.

“i will always be your safe place. you are not alone anymore — i won’t let you go that easily, cutie.”

a smirk appeared on your face, between the tears, as you mimicked his actions.

“i wouldn't even dream of it.”

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© giuliadesu. please do not copy, translate, use in videos or reupload on other platforms and sites. it is strictly forbidden to feed any part of my content to ai.

[alpydk]

22 and 24 :)

22. say 3 things about someone you love.

So going to go with my kid.

Love how curious they can be at times, just off the wall weird, how they listen to the dumb shit I say and add on to it with their own.

"Mummy, what is a ship?" "Like a boat?" "Nooooo, like in games. When people say they want to ship them," "Oh... *me thinking over the smut* um, when people say they want to people to be in a relationSHIP." "Like Naoto and Kanji in Persona 4." "Exactly like that." *Long pause.* "TRIAL OF THE DRAGOOONNNN!"

(A repeat of a conversation last night.)

I like how they love animals and are so great with them. They have autism, so people and friends are more tricky, but they're the most accepting person ever of anyone, really. But when with animals, they're a whole new person entirely, patient, caring, like the animals just get it all. It's amazing to see.

Lastly... That they simply exist. We went through a lot of hell for them. They're a miracle.

24.what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

I was thinking about this the other day and I'm going to go with the art portion of my degree. We had to do this entire display of our work and explain the theme and how we would go about teaching it to a class and I chose "World within worlds."

Now, as you have all seen, I'm not good at art. I was in a class with people who'd been drawing for years and I took this module simply so I didn't have to write huge essays whilst writing my final paper. I fought with the professor over pop art and I fought with her over collages, and I fought over...well everything, but every time I'd go home and think over what we were doing and I'd twist it so I understood it, and she let me. Honestly, an amazing, AMAZING person!

I ended up getting my final paper written earlier and throwing more energy into the art project than anyone expected. After a module of arguing over art processes, art analysis and everything else with my professor, I showed up with this representative of me, basically. I got a very high grade for it and the feedback I got was, "You took everything from the class and made it your own in some way. You've earned this grade and I'm proud of you." I cried, not over my final exam, not over all the stress or pressure or anything else I'd been going through. No, I cried because she saw me and was proud of me. How pathetic is that???

Now, anyway, because I am proud, here is some stuff I did for it.

A stop motion video was one aspect I put a lot of energy into. Featuring my 30+ year old bear Nelson.

Black out poetry, including a large book I made where I took one of the very long academic texts we read, made it into a fantasy novel using blackout, and explained that papers like that were destroying creativity.

And the dinosaur... We'd been given an assignment to take a piece of real art and make it into our own. The professor did not approve of me adding Godzilla and a volcano to a Tate Modern piece, so I went away and made a dinosaur out of Tate Modern... You can see how difficult a student I was.

Right! Enough sappy stuff now! Destroying my angst vibes!

[drowninginyourtouch]

Persona and SMT DO have something to say. About society, about philosophy, about the human condition, about the meaning of life, about love and death and pain and finding beauty in the world despite it being shit. The only reason you think the games atlus makes have "nothing to say" is because youre too stupid and media illiterate to realze that

calling me media illiterate when you misunderstood a tumblr is post is crazy

i wasn't literally arguing that persona games have "nothing to say" because of course they do. they have a story that is being told so in the literal sense yes they are telling and conveying a message. my point was about how the series (particularly persona 4 but thats just cuz its the freshest on my mind n the one ive been playing recently) contains extremely shallow messaging and i feel doesnt fully engage with its subject matter in a way that presents the stories in an extremely simple and tired light. the power of friendship and strength to continue on in the face of pain and adversity have been done to death, especially in anime, which would lead you to believe that in order to make a compelling story that maybe persona 4 has something new or interesting to say about these things? no? ok. truthfully its a loose application of the themes in question that feel sloppily applied to the story especially with how the character writing turns out (persona 4 is about accepting yourself and finding your own truth and multiple social links end with characters back at square one but its bc its their choice to be a static character now or something. also why would a story so heavily about finding your own path and the power of friendship contain so many scenes where characters seemingly make fun of each other for daring to go against the status quo even a little bit ie kanji and yosuke's whole thing). and thats not even going into the character writing which is its own thing entirely nd the thing that prompted the original post you're trying to flame me for

honestly since you seem so passionate about calling me stupid and media illiterate why dont you come off anon and say it with your chest like cmon anon hate in 2025 grow the fuck up

[megaderping]

Dojima was gone the next morning. Of course he was. Last night's events replayed in Akechi's head. Mrs. Tatsumi's tears, the tension as Dojima recorded the events on a clipboard and Adachi just had to make an idiot of himself. None of the adults knew. Nanako certainly didn't know. It was cruel to put them through so much, but a necessary evil. Akechi had to keep reminding himself that as he scrubbed his dishes from breakfast with perhaps a bit too much ferocity.

For the first time in a long, long time, Kanji would not join them on the walk to school.

Perhaps sensing his distress, Yu dared to place a hand on his shoulder. "We'll get him today, all right?"

"We as in just you and the others, I presume…" Akechi had no Persona. It was the logical conclusion to make.

"Nah."

The denial seized Akechi's in a stranglehold. He stared at Yu for several seconds before responding. "You're joking."

"No joke." A resigned sort of smile formed as Yu wiped his own plate with a washcloth. "We can't stop you. Even if I said no, you'd probably go behind our backs, and… Well, wouldn't that just justify all the feelings you've been burying inside?"

It took several more seconds for Akechi to respond. He truly expected Yu would draw the line due to his lack of Persona. "...It'd feel like you were backsliding and that you had no faith in me after all."

"Exactly. Which isn't fair. Even Chie tagged along before she awakened her Persona." He turned to the table and passed Akechi a small list. "As long as you're packing some of these, you'll have the means to protect yourself."

Akechi skimmed the list carefully. Value Medicine, Goho-M, and various odds and ends, like… Tesla Coils? Dry Ice? Pinwheels… "Aren't these ordinary items from the Shiroku Store?"

"Yep. TV world sure is something, huh?" Rather than elaborate, he passed Akechi a surprisingly generous stack of yen. "Here, I'll even cover the tab."

Akechi accepted the money, leaning in close, as if this was all some sort of joke with a pending punchline. "Where did you even get all this?" He paused. "Wait, don't tell me. It's the hands, isn't it?"

"Okay, I won't tell you." Yu grabbed his school bag from one of the chairs at the table. "I know your Shadow's a lot to face, but I hope you know you don't have to do this alone. We all know how much Kanji means to you, so if there's anything we can do…" Previous Chapter | Full Chapter | Read from the Beginning

New chapter drops in about an hour! This time I will try to remember to crosspost on time.