#abusive ex talk

[monsterqueers]

Im just really annoyed about how people just fucking hate it when the kids they were jealous of and hated in school for not also getting bad grades also report being fucking traumatized by the school system.

Yeah sorry school traumatizes everyone, even the 'ex-gifted kids' you fucking hate because god forbid someone wasnt exploited and overworked the same way you were.

Sorry a group of predominately neurodiverse people experiencing burnout and how their upbringing of being only valued for their academic performance totally fucked their ability to function in the real world dare talk about this pain where you can see.

Its not being privileged and ~humblebragging~ to report emotional neglect from your parents centered around you having to get perfect grades to receive any scrap of love.

Wishing violence on them for talking about it and finding each other isn't cute either.

And because these people need it stated extra clear

This post is NOT saying other groups of people 'had it less bad'. This is about a specific phenomenon of vitriol towards a oft neurodiverse group of people commiserating about how they were screwed over by the system under the label 'gifted kid' NOT whatever else you are imagining im saying. <3

[curiouscatastrophe]

Alex Hirsch has a drawing of Ford sucking Bill's face in his house right now... just think about that...

[normal-posts-4-normal-people]

Halsin is an abuse victim the same way I am an abuse victim ( doesn’t really get why what happened was definitely fucked up and regularly makes jokes about it )

[nomstellations]

the vore community has been, and will continue to be a place that is unsafe for both minors and victims of any form of abuse or grooming suffered within it. people have proven time and time again that they will refuse to acknowledge or in fact, violently defend abusers for any reason they can cook up because they do not want to face the consequences of doing so- all people want to do is consume vore content thoughtlessly and if ignoring their favorite artist's grooming allegations means they can do it, then so be it. ignorance is bliss- that's why so many blogs around here are still firmly in the "i don't care who interacts with me!!" boat if it means they don't have to think about it. believe it or not, you have to think about your actions in a kink space even if you don't see it as one.

you can't just excuse away the harm you're enabling with "i didn't know," or "i don't want to talk about that, i just wanna vibe and look at pictures of people eating each other!" that is still enabling, that is still causing harm, and that's just proving to hurt people that there's no one they can trust and when it comes down to it, no one will stick up for them when they open up about the things they've suffered. it's always the victims who are wrong for standing up for themselves or calling attention to people that have been or are still doing harm (especially if they aren't cordial and nonthreatening in the way they talk about it, even though they have every right to be upset), because there's no way your favorite artist could do something bad! their art is too good! their writing is too well-done to be made by someone bad! so it must be them who's wrong, because the abuser said so and the victim was mean! why don't we all attack the victim for daring to open up and nitpick how they did it, because surely that is what prevents people from being hurt! ignore how nobody's actually done any of these things, btw (and if they did, they get ignored immediately).

at worst, these people are callous and cruel and are abusers themselves. at best, these people are enabling harm to be perpetuated because they don't want to acknowledge it. or they're too scared to be dogpiled too, or whatever other reason there is. this culture this community fosters needs to die out or people will continue to be used and abused.

this blog will never come off hiatus. not while this place and people i used to admire and trust continue to prove themselves to be the kinds of people that will justify the sexual abuse i endured for years in this community.

[eat-a-dicker]

stolas cheating on stella doesn't mean he's a bad person, stolas cheating on stella is a bad thing because as two high class rich people enforcing the rules of an oppressive society goes, stella obviously cares about those rules and regulations and is angry about the social indignity of being cheated on. stolas, as someone participating as a part of the violent regime, should have recognized that this was going to happen and instead blew her off as a stupid dumb harpie (because she is) and didn't expect her to actualize her threats into violence because he thought very little of her.

[mikonawa]

Astarion being so clearly repulsed by sex is so important to his character and I wish more people would recognize that.

his body is finally his and having sex isn't what he wants to do now that he has his freedom.

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

My hot take is that it should have been Rebecca, not Ted, who talked to Jamie about his father in 3x11. Here are my reasons:

1. So much of Rebecca's arc is about recovering from an abusive relationship while her abuser is still, somewhat unavoidably, part of her life. Her experience with Rupert and Jamie's experience with his father aren't identical, but she knows better than anyone else at Richmond how it feels to have someone like that turn up at her place of work, and how stressful their planned encounters are, even when they're just in the same large stadium and don't need to directly interact.

2. As the owner of the club, Rebecca almost certainly knows what happened at Wembley, and she's not only well-placed to make practical arrangements like getting James banned from the match (since none of them knew he wouldn't be there) but also, as of 3x10, has come to terms with with her relationship with Rupert — both the good parts and the many, many bad parts — in a way that enables her to interact with him when necessary without massive emotional distress, while also keeping very firm boundaries in place. Basically, she, unlike Ted, could offer advice based on relevant personal experience.

3. Jamie could finally find out that Ted didn't have him sent back to Man City — while it would be nice for Ted to say it, Rebecca is better placed to give the full story, and she and Jamie have a lot in common when it comes to expressing their hurt in a way that leaves a lot of collateral damage.

4. Explains why they're hugging in the finale.

[pwurrz]

no actually i think people should be allowed to mourn a large part of their childhood while also being able to talk about how they aren’t supporting an abuser’s actions by feeling grief over their passing.

i think people should have the right to talk about the complexities of human emotions and acknowledge that difficult feelings, especially grief, are never black and white without being accused of being an abuse apologist OR being accused of being a heartless monster with no compassion.

[rxttenfish]

i understand why OP turned reblogs off but yeah. yeah thats just entirely it isn't it.

[sugusatodyke]

Being a lesbian online means seeing that goddamn statistic in every comment section on posts that mentions lesbians

[starredforlife]

if u assume people should just know better then you assume they are trying to offend or annoy or hurt you on purpose or they don't care that they are doing that, which is not only shortsighted but also a bit meanspirited--to believe someone close to you has the worst intentions with you. please talk abt what bothers you and assert boundaries with the people you love even if it's scary or if it feels like the other person shouldn't have to be told something 'so simple'!!!