#abusive dean winchester

[flowersintheimpala69]

Idk how sam keeps it together cuz personally id kms if my brotherhusband was always telling me im too violent too gentle too cold too sensitive too too much of a pansy a freak an abomination and that he loves me so much and all he wants is for me to be happy yet he hits me more often than not but it’s my fault because i fucked up and I let myself get manipulated again and it’s my fault for getting violated and that he can barely look at me I disgust him sm but if I die he’ll kill himself to be with me like how does sam handle all that

[strawlessandbraless]

Live

Laugh

Lobotomy

[opheliasam]

god he (dean) used to be so different my chest hurts

[anassemblageofpassions]

The thing abt john winchester is that he is too complex for the majority of the spn fandom and for a good portion of the writers on the show too.

Because at his core john is about love over everything else. When he looks up at his sons (yes, up, the fact that they’re both taller than him>>>>>), there is love seeping achingly from every single pore of his being even as he abuses them, as he destroys their souls beyond belief. He does it all entirely out of love. And he is so, so wrong for it. A part of him knows it. But he wants to keep dean alive, and he wants to keep Sam pure. And he loves them so much. And he damages them so horribly. John Winchester is the foundation upon which they are both built, they only become more of what he made them as the series goes on. Sam stops fighting it, Dean continues to mold into his image no matter how hard he tries to fight it.

Hell puts them both on steroids, but their individual trauma responses that influence this are the foundations that John built into them. No wonder azazel wanted sam to win so badly. John Winchester crafted his sons into alastair and Lucifer’s ideal victims, respectively, and dean was a better (worse) john than John ever was. John held out in hell. Dean acquiesced to his abuser despite all of his efforts to fight him, and he’s never been the same since.

Sam fought like hell, and he fought destiny, but at his core, he did what John always wanted him to by doing what dean wanted him to do, and then he stops fighting at all, loses the fire he showed john in adolescence that john immediately notices when he returns in s14.

And the sad thing is. They filled their roles so well that John is saddened by what they’ve become. He didn’t want dean to break. He didn’t want Sam to be dimmed. He’s sad to see what Sam is like in s14. In the process of recovering his wife, he ensured he would mold his sons into what he wanted them to be, and when he got what he wanted, he was devastated.

John Winchester is so driven by love and grief and he’s so filled to the brim with both that it’s painful to watch him on screen because he destroyed his family because of it. And he wanted this all along but he didn’t realize what he’d have to give up to get it.

[ladylightning]

the way the absence of john winchester haunt sam and dean in ways that are more real than any ghost they have ever faced. the way john echoes so loudly in the narrative even in episodes he’s not mentioned, in seasons where he never appears. the way john possesses dean when he’s angry and sam when he’s grieving. the way john is the one true god of the narrative, the absent father who does not answer prayers or phone calls. the righteous man who does not break in hell but breaks down and hands his child a gun. john and the memory of his holy mary. john the prophet and his sacred text. john and his prodigal son that he knows has to die. 

[panicroomsammy]

Supernatural 6.7, 4.21, 5.14, 6.6, 6.11 & Succession 1.8

[serendipity0930]

Day Six (May 1st): Autonomy / Abuse / Trauma "Cherry Wine" by Hozier // 04x04 / 02x03 / 01x01 / 09x01 / 06x06 / 04x01 / 11x17 / 08x23 / 10x23

[stay-pos-cos]

I think that the Supernatural fandom doesn't give Dean Winchester enough credit or hold John Winchester accountable nearly enough. I would argue that John's abuse (mental, emotional and physical) and its constant effect in both boys lives is constantly downplayed by a majority of the fanbase.

The parentification of an elder sibling has been proven to cause lasting issues and we see this throughout the show; when Dean is overly protective of Sam, treats Sam's life as more valuable than his own, can't picture a life where he's not needed, and his dismissal of Sam as a valuable contributor in an equal partnership. Dean is often criticized both in canon and by fans for being overbearing and codependent on Sam. This is a direct result of John Winchester's inability to parent.

Dean's emotional repression is shown to be caused by his father's militant behaviors and approach to parenting. Dean doesn't see his feelings as valid or important and thus turns to repression or unhealthy coping mechanisms as illustrated throughout the show. His alcoholism, violent outbursts, and unhealthy relationship with sex are all coping mechanisms he uses not to feel.

Through flashbacks (and some dialog) the viewer is show that Sam is more resentful towards John than Dean, and that he even holds resentment towards Dean for being the "perfect little soldier".

That's part of the reason Castiel is such a great foil for Dean, both are loyal to absent fathers' but while Dean was born with free will he follows his father's orders unwaveringly until sometime after his death, Cass a being created without free will breaks free of the command of his father and from his father's mission, becoming for all intents and purposes a Prodigal son like Sam.

Dean's adherence to his father's word is, much like Sam's rebellion a response to continued and repeated abuse, neither brother is perfect. And their father was the furthest thing from it.

[wormieapple]

please understand that i will never and can never condone John Winchester’s actions but some of y’all really don’t understand what “he did the best he could” means.

he neglected and at the very least emotionally abused his kids, and there’s a pretty good argument that he might’ve physically abused them as well. he isolated them, prevented them from forming any lasting relationships outside of immediate family, left them alone for days if not weeks on end with firearms and very little food. And that’s not even the half of it. and everything he did was a manifestation of grief and drive to protect his family. which does not in the slightest justify how he treated sam and dean, but it does lay out his morals and motives pretty clearly.

He loves his kids, he really does. and while struggling to deal with his own trauma he was doing everything he could in his mind to keep them safe. but that doesn’t make his best enough, not by a long shot. that doesn’t even make his best efforts good efforts. at the end of the day he abused his kids and royally fucked up their ability to cope with their own grief and trauma in ways that i cannot touch with a 10ft pole rn or i’ll be writing 57 essays right here and now.

and again i hate john just as much as the next person but he did not set out to abuse his kids. he didn’t have nefarious intentions when it came to how he raised his kids. he was a good person who turned into an abusive asshole due to grief, paranoia, and alcoholism. and it makes perfect sense that sam and dean still love him even if they recognize the damage he did to them. because they also know how hard their dad tried, and they’ve said as much several times. and i get it cause that’s how i grew up. my dad did everything he could despite his grief, despite his depression, despite working 14 hour days in poverty and homelessness, and he still neglected and emotionally abused me. not because he was a bad person, but because he had no tools to deal with everything he was going through. and his best wasn’t enough, his best failed me. and i still love my dad cause not every memory was bad, and he does truly love me and my siblings. And i’m lucky in a way that sam and dean never were because my dad recognized where he failed us, owned up to what he did and tries everyday to repair the damage he did.

I have closure, and that’s something sam and dean could never really have. but they do have the clusterfuck of emotions that is he tried his best and it wasn’t enough.

[aliusfrater]

im normal

[sammygender]

tldr

[flowersintheimpala69]

I love Dean and sam’s relationship because Dean will do something astronomically horrible to Sam and then when Sam finds out deans dosent apologize to sam and instead goes into an emo self hating spiel like “I’m the worst 😞😞😞 I’m horrible 😞😞😞 I hate myself. We got a break up😞😞” and what he wants Sam to say is “nooo babygirl ur ass so fat don’t kys no ur the best big brother” but what sam will actually say is “yea actually what u did is pretty horrible wtf” then Dean will get angry and be like “u don’t get it Sammy I HAD to kill ur friend and allow an angel to possess you and put rat poison in ur smoothies I HAD to because it was to help u!! I’m helping u can’t u see I’m helping u ur so ungrateful!!” And so sam is iced out and disregarded for like two episodes until he eventually is like “ur right Dean u did what u had to do I’m the bad guy I’m sorry” and then Dean takes sam back cuz he can’t live without his brother-husband-girlfriend but he’ll still bring the thing up years later and use it against sam and somehow frame it to make sam look bad. Nobody is doing it like them.

[inbredbrotherhood]

The way Sam sits up when Henriksen alludes to the possibility of John having molested Dean at some point is so telling. Not outright saying that John actually did do something to either of them but following along with the running undertone of CSA being a recurring trauma that Sam and Dean have both possibly experienced at the hands of their father — Dean more than Sam, however. (Sam tends to be implicated to have been molested by Dean at some point, enough that Dean holds some sort of mental power over him rather than an outright acknowledgement that both of them would be complicit in an incestuous relationship).

Also, side note: Dean is more visibly upset about being separated from Sam the he is by the accusation. He makes an expression more associated with pain than anger, but never looks disgusted by the obvious attempt to rile him as Dean is known, by Henriksen at this point, to attempt to defend his perceived innocence.

[opheliasam]

sam winchester + being loved captivity

Reassurance to Sierra in High School—Sierra Demulder / For Your Own Good—Lean Horlick / A Self-Portrait in Letters—Anne Sexton / Ask Polly—Heather Havrilesky

[anassemblageofpassions]

No but likeeee. Sam isn’t allowed to have ANY secrets from dean but he’s also not allowed to talk about anything so everything just simmers inside of him because he’s also not allowed to have anyone more important to him than dean but he’s constantly in pain but he can’t tell Dean because dean can’t handle him being in pain so he just suffers in silence and I think the only time he brings up even a smidgen of his pain to anyone it’s rowena, and it’s to help HER. And the only one who knows is lucifer and Lucifer is the one who inflicts it on him. So lucifer knows something Dean doesn’t, he’s hurt Sam in ways dean is incapable of, but dean has also hurt Sam in ways Lucifer is incapable and that infuriates Lucifer. So supernatural is really just a custody battle between lucifer and dean for everything that sam is, and neither of them will win, and so lucifer will try to move on, he will create jack because he can’t have Sam, because he can’t win against dean, but he will fail, but then Sam will steal jack from him too, and Sam belongs to dean, and everything Sam has belongs to dean, so dean will kill him, and both Sam and jack will be his, but he can’t control jack the way he can control sam when jack is soulless, just like he couldn’t control sam when sam was soulless, so he will force sam to manipulate jack into confinement, and then when jack gets his soul back he will do whatever Dean wants, dean will kill their son but sam will fight him for the first time in forever, and for once he will win, and then everyone will be gone and it will just be sam and dean, sam forever deans even when dean dies, but the thing is, dean never truly had the real sam, he had a sam who cut off parts of himself to appease dean, to be the person dean wants him to be, and I hope that one day he managed to recover himself but he was so deeply conditioned I doubt that he did.

[holylulusworld]

Black eye

Summary: Left with his father Dean tries to find anything to keep on going.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x GN!Reader

Warnings/Tags: Stanford era, mentions of violence/physical abuse, John Winchester’s A+ parenting, hurt Dean, hurt & comfort

A/N: We are getting pre-series Dean Winchester in this.

The bottle hits the wall. It’s one of these nights. The nights Dean fears the most. He’s a brave young man and even fights the scariest monsters. But facing his drunk and angry father turns him into a scared boy.

He stands in the room, hands stuffed into his pockets. Dean simply nods when John blames him for the hunt gone wrong.

It wasn’t his fault, though. John pissed the hunter joining them off, and they had to fend off the monster on their own.

Dean has an injured arm, and a dislocated shoulder because he had to play the bait once again. Still, John blames his son for another failure.

“I told you to follow my order,” John barks. This time Dean flinches. He should be used to John’s outbursts by now.

“Yes, Sir,” Dean replies. It doesn’t make sense to fight with John when he’s like that. Dean just watches his father kick the chair at the cheap motel out of his way.

“You could’ve gotten yourself killed!” John spits while yelling at Dean. “I can’t believe you sometimes!”

“You mean you could have gotten me killed while using me as bait,” Dean gasps after the words slip out of his mouth. He watches his father’s face contort in anger. Before Dean can block the punch, he staggers backward, holding his face.

John lost control. Not for the first time. Whenever things went awry, like Sam leaving for Stanford, Dean was his punching ball. “See, you can’t even block a punch. I raised you better.”

“Raised me?” Dean scoffs. He shakes his head, feeling the pain radiate not only through his arm but his skull too. “I guess you should hunt on your own then or find someone better.”

“What?” John watches Dean grab the keys to the Impala and his duffle bag filled with the meager belongings he owns. “If you step out of that door, you’re not my son any longer.”

Dean stops for a second. He looks over his shoulder at his father, the man he admired for so long. “I guess this means you’ve got no son left.”

Dean paces in front of the house. He didn’t think this through. Not at all. After leaving the motel room, Dean dumped all his burner phones but one. The one he kept hidden from his father.

He didn’t call before coming here. Another mistake. Dean doesn’t even know if the person he’s seeking out is still living here.

“Dean?” He jerks his head toward the now-open door. You watched him pace in front of your house, unsure if he was ready to talk to you. “How did you…”

“Hey, sweetheart,” he seems to be nervous when you step closer to drink Dean’s appearance in. You haven’t seen him since your dad quit hunting two years ago, but you can tell, Dean has been miserable since then.

“What happened?” you carefully touch his swollen cheek. “A hunt gone wrong?” You question as he drops his head in shame. “John…”

“Both,” he shrugs. “He was so mad…and I talked back and then…”

“He hurt you,” you don’t hesitate any longer. Before Dean can change his mind, you carefully wrap him in a hug.

Dean sniffs. “I know it’s late, but I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Come in, Dean,” you softly whisper. “I have been waiting for you to come back. You can always come here.”

“Can I stay too?” Dean murmurs while following you inside your home, only his duffle bag and keys in his hands.

“If you want to, you can stay forever…”

Tags in reblog.