#abusive!beck

[lockandkeyhyena]

can you break the chain?

[firedragon1321]

You ever just have a scene and every time you edit it, the torture increases? Like every time my brain sees the draft it's like "hmmm...I can make him worse."

Was it necessary to have one of my characters brutally whipped and tortured for this scene? No. Will it give me a Neat Little Christ Metaphor I can rip apart later since he's just a sixteen year old kid? Yes. Will this create more trauma later down the line for all involved. Absofuckinglutely.

I can make him so much worse. :)

[hello-eeveev]

fell into a bit of a cr transcripts rabbit hole and can I just say once again that I am so in love with Astrid Becke and I feel like the wizard fandom should be more in love with her too

[ominous-faechild]

MODERN EXISTENCE

CHAPTER 1: MORE OF THE SAME

CHARACTERS: ✦ Beck Molleur ✦ Dahlia Molleur

story intro moodboard table of contents < last chapter next chapter >

(if it's possible for you to read and listen to lyrical music at the same time, please listen to the music provided ❤️)

NOTE: this story is centered on two characters in a codependent, toxic marriage. Exact content warnings about the relationship will not be given for plot reasons, so if you have ANY possible worries about that subject matter, I beg of you to be cautious before reading this story. Thank you.

Most topics are implied—haunting the narrative rather than being displayed openly—and this story depicts how one can be trapped in that sort of relationship. It has portrayals of depression, self-hatred, and implied abuse... although I would still like and encourage you to read it.

Countless images flashed through Beck's mind.

Flooded streets, loose wreckage of destroyed buildings, and rows and rows of suffering people.

It was always like this. Beck was constantly tormented by these kinds of visions. Visions of pain, destruction, and death. Anything and everything going wrong around the world was stuck in his mind, constantly playing again and again and again.

Whether he closed his eyes or had them open, tried going about his day normally or not, he was tormented by visions of misery.

Still, Beck now had his eyes closed, cheek pressed up against the back of a couch, and noise-cancelling headphones over his ears playing soft, calming music.

With his senses stifled, it was easier to focus on the visions. It was easier to see what he shouldn’t be able to see, hear what he shouldn’t be able to hear, and move what he shouldn’t be able to reach.

The soft music coming from his headphones calmed Beck. He’d seen so much suffering in his life that he’d long-since grown almost numb to it, but… that didn’t mean he was okay with it.

He still wanted to help.

So, when he could, when things were “a little too bad”, Beck made an effort to use his powers for good. He’d make small changes where he could—fill in a pothole that’d been untouched for years, trip up someone on the attack, make a stray noise to draw someone’s attention near danger, or manipulate information that could otherwise destroy people’s lives—and try to help people.

… for once in his life.

“Sometimes I for-get… the world doesn’t want me…”

A whole roof had been torn off its building by the vicious winds of a hurricane. It tore through the air, flying toward another home—and suddenly steered away, crashing into the street instead.

“And I won-der where… all of my friends are…”

Hundreds of miles away, cars were bottlenecked at an aging bridge… one that had long-since been shut down for repairs. Not that it’d ever been repaired—but still. It was supposed to be closed.

People were desperate to escape the hurricane, though.

They risked the bridge, and if it hadn’t been for Beck watching over it? It would’ve cracked under the weight of their cars, plunging them all into the hungry waters below.

“But then I remember… I’d pushed them all a-way…”

So much destruction, so much panic, so much chaos—and Beck did his best to help everyone he could in small ways.

To avoid detection.

For plausible deniability.

Few people believed in magic, so what else were they going to believe? That a god walking among them—one they’d otherwise blame for their misfortune—was looking out for them? Or that the wind moved just in time? That the bridge was just a little sturdier than the architects and scientists believed? That Their God, whichever one or ones they believed in, was looking out for them?

Yes. Far better for people to assume those than the truth.

They’d all agreed on that thousands of years ago.

“So where am I? Who am I?” the song continued, melancholic.

“And what will I do… when I don’t ev-en have me?”

The couch shifted under Beck, tilting him to the side, as something landed on his shoulder.

Beck flinched, mind abruptly returning to his body.

Snapping his eyes open, Beck quickly turned to look at what had disturbed him—

A pair of bright green eyes—on the most beautiful face he’d ever seen—met his.

Despite her soft smile, Dahlia's eyebrows were furrowed slightly in concern as she stared at him expectantly.

“Who will I be?” the song continued.

Dahlia was a woman Beck knew well, though her face had changed countless times over the years. Now, she wore one of a brown woman with angular features and a mane of long, curly brown hair. She sat against the couch with one knee, her hand still on his shoulder, and the scent of her lilac perfume washing over him.

Beck swallowed, then cleared his throat awkwardly as he looked away to stare down at the cushion creased under Dahlia's knee. Every fabric of his being screamed against it, but Beck hesitantly grabbed the earpads of his headphones to slowly take them off.

“Where will I g—?” the song lamented, before getting cut off for overpowering silence.

“Beck?” Dahlia's voice interrupted, warm and gentle. “Everything okay?”

A wave of relief flooded over him.

Relaxing and smiling weakly, Beck hesitantly looked back up to meet her eyes.

“Yeah,” he said awkwardly, “just… was working on some stuff.”

Dahlia's soft smile grew faintly teasing. Then, she shifted to sit in his lap, her knees propped up against the cushions outside of his legs. Her hand moved from Beck's shoulder to his cheek as the other went to the backrest over his shoulder.

“Oh, yeah?” Dahlia asked, her tease leaking into her voice. “Like what?”

Beck felt his face flush as he pressed his cheek into her hand.

Letting out a slow, shaky breath, he turned his face away as he placed his headphones to the side and awkwardly wrapped his arm around her. It pulled her close as he stared hard at the headphones, still faintly emitting sound.

“Just… helping out around the hurricane,” Beck said, his voice subtly thick. “You know… without making it too obvious.”

He let out a small, pained laugh, then closed his eyes as he sank his cheek completely into her hand.

Beck's exhaustion leaked into his voice as he added: “not that anyone would question it, anyways. They just thank whatever god they believe in… or consider it ‘miraculous’ and move on…”

The entire couch shifted as Dahlia moved.

Beck tensed slightly, his breath catching in his throat. He quickly opened his eyes and turned his head to once again look at Dahlia.

His wife shifted to fully sit in his lap, leaning her forearms into his chest, cupping her hands around his cheeks, and meeting his eyes with a warm, loving smile.

“Awe, that’s sweet of you, Beck,” she said, voice slightly teasing still.

Then her eyes closed, and she leaned forward.

Beck took a deep breath before following her example.

Dahlia's hands dropped from his cheeks to rub against his chest as she kissed him gently, then slowly deepened it.

Beck struggled to breathe, but carefully kissed her back. Wrapping his arms around her lower back, he lifted her just enough to cross his legs under her and pull her close.

Dahlia paused the kiss—and Beck opened his eyes, though hers remained shut—to speak lightly against his lips.

“Did you know that?” she asked.

He swallowed awkwardly, looking down, not knowing how to answer.

She didn’t give him the time to figure it out. Instead, she quickly went back to kissing him, moving her hands up his chest and to his cheeks, where she rubbed his jaw with her thumbs.

Taking a slow, unsteady breath through his nose, Beck pulled her even closer and tried to just enjoy the kiss.

I love you, Ver, he wanted to say.

But he bit it back, giving her the moment to do whatever she wanted.

Instead, Dahlia pulled away after kissing him for a few more seconds. Her hands moved from his cheeks to his chest again as he met his eyes with another warm smile.

Beck was too caught up in watching every subtle shift in her expression to recognize his own relief.

“I reserved a restaurant for us to eat at tonight,” Dahlia said, a slight, sly smile on her lips. “Bistro Minuit is your favorite, right?”

Face flushing again—hotter this time—Beck hesitantly tore his eyes from hers to stare at the floor, past her hip. At the same time, he moved a hand from her lower back to place it over one of hers on his chest.

“Yeah,” Beck said awkwardly, his voice thick.

Then he gave a weak, dry chuckle, closing his eyes.

“It’s still open?” he asked, his voice weakly amused. “With how fast time goes by—”

“Uxi,” Dahlia interrupted gently. One of her hands—the one not trapped under his—moved to cup itself around his cheek again.

Beck froze, his breath catching in his throat as he quickly returned his eyes to hers.

But Dahlia still had her warm, slightly-teasing smile on her lips.

Her tease leaked into her voice as she answered: “of course it’s still open. I just told you I made reservations, didn’t I?”

Beck's heart twisted, but Dahlia's face was still soft, easygoing.

“—And, besides, I make sure of these things, you know that,” she finished warmly.

She seems fine. Nothing to worry about.

Beck forced a weak smile in return, but then sighed heavily as he closed his eyes and sank his cheek into her hand again. At the same time, he moved his hand from the one on his chest to cup it over hers on his cheek, lovingly sandwiching it between his cheek and hand.

“Yeah,” he answered, voice thick, but level. “You’re right. Sorry, I’d… I’d like that.”

Feel free to share your thoughts below, regardless of what they are.

Unless, yknow, they're "wtf are you writing; stfu". Or "men can't be abused." Keep that kinda shit out.

This is a very heavy story, and will touch on heavy topics... even if only through implication.

(Also to those of you who recognize their names... 🙂)

story intro moodboard table of contents < last chapter next chapter >

taglist

@honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @ashirisu @urnumber1star

@the-letterbox-archives @48lexr @aalinaaaaaa @thecomfywriter @an-indecisive-nerd

@seastarblue @rae-butter @mythicalmagical-monkeyman @corinneglass @friedmiu

@caffeinated-starsailor @overwhelmedfernfrond @write-with-will @theink-stainedfolk @industrialideafactory

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@homeforinsomniacs

(interact with this post to join the taglist)

divider by @cafekitsune

[mayapapaya33]

Spirit of embracing change part 1

I see a lot of negative nellies about all the talk of changes with the animation and look I get it. I'm not a fan of all the changes made in TLOVM, but overall, it's a rad show and its pretty fucking cool. So I figured in the spirit of embracing change I'd come up with something I genuinely hope they change in The Mighty Nein animated show.

One of the few things that actually really bothered me in C2, as opposed to my many more minor critiques, was the Mighty Nein's treatment of Astrid and Eadwulf. The Volstruckers are just as much victims of Trent as Caleb is, they are child soldiers all grown up. Their distinct lack of recognition of that and lack of compassion through most of the campaign was always very disheartening. In the end battle their moral compass Caduceus was busy dealing with his burning home, I really wish they had stepped up and been kind rather than their usual douchbaggey selves. I think Beau and Fjord talking Astrid down from killing Trent was great and was the energy I was looking for all along, that whole scene was fantastic and I loved it. But I was really hoping for more.

Beau doesn't trust Astrid and Eadwulf, which sure fine, don't trust them, but like, invite them over for dinner lol. They can be your new fucked up friends on the path of rehabilitation, why are you guys just letting this shit hang? Caleb literally loves them/ used to love them what is happening? Yes Astrid took the job in the Cerberus Assembly, she could be trying to change it for the better, and there's a greater chance of that if you all become friends! You've got your war criminal buddy out there gardening as a proof of concept, keep going! Unlike Essek, Astrid and Eadwulf's situation isn't their fault. (Yes, they are now adults and are therefore responsible for their own actions, but also, come on, what choices did they really have, very few if you're being honest about it).

Unlike Caleb, Astrid and Eadwulf weren't able to escape Trent, but they still helped The Mighty Nein several times, and frankly, the M9 were deeply ungrateful and entitled about it. Astrid let them go! She could have completely screwed them with a well-placed counterspell, and she didn't. They warned the M9 about Trent's shenanigans and defenses. Beau saw Astrid crying in an alleyway and did nothing with that information! Have they not earned ANY goodwill from you people?!?! Christ on a crutch, have some empathy! Sure knock them out if they are getting in your way, don't let them hurt you, but when the dust settles, get over yourself and really help them!

(And before anyone makes a somewhat gross argument about the difference between Caleb's worthiness vs Astrid and Eadwulf being that he escaped, leaving his abusive environment by choice, EEEEEH WRONG his escape was literally having a mental breakdown and being put in an insane asylum which was somehow a good thing! Which goes to show the horrific position they were all in. They couldn't leave voluntarily, they were all trapped, Caleb just as much as the rest. Caleb just had the ?Good fortune? of having his brain collapse under the strain. Caleb has been able to have a life free of Trent for a few years to learn and grow, Astrid and Eadwulf haven't had that opportunity yet, it's just starting right at the end of the campaign. The M9 could have been there for them if they really wanted to.

C3 proves that their relationship is still complicated, as Essek attacks (nonlethally) rather than just having a conversation, but they exchange a polite-ish greeting to/from Caleb so it's still muddled, here's hoping that relationship gets better in future campaigns, fingers crossed! (Caleb, is canonically polyamorous, has two hands and can make copies of himself, I'm just putting that out there. Matt and Liam need to stop breaking my heart lmfao).

Anyway, my hope is that they actually thread together all of the moments from the campaign and now, with the benefit of hindsight, have it weave in and out of the story satisfactorily with the M9 being a bit more cognizant and grateful of the risks they took to help the M9 and their terrible situation. About Astrid and Eadwulf being insanely traumatized victims of brainwashing and abuse. Victims who were trapped living with, working with, and interacting with their abuser on a daily basis for like a quarter of a century.

[swanerotica]

ed youtubers are so funny cuz what the fuck is a fbi frank

[confusedkittensposts]

#the thing that irritates my soul the most is hellers making cas the bad guy for dying#'cas left dean a broken man so many times' - becky he was killed.

@shedontlovehuhself tags on this post made me think, Dean's grief is used as a big proof of his love for Castiel, which is intresting beacuse for a man who breaks after Castiel's death he doesn't doesn't care enough to keep Cas alive or you know about Cas dying.

I'll start with season 8, I have examples before that but I don't want to make this long. Dean changes his memories to make it look like Cas couldn't come out of the portal, and then straight up lies that Cas is dead, which even based on his changed memories isn't given. Then when Castiel coes back he is constantly suspisious, When Castiel confesses to be sucidal Dean does nothing.

Later when Cas says he is likely to be killed after closing the gates of Heaven behind him, Dean again does nothing. I mean the "I Need You" is considered a love confession and yet Dean was ready to let the person he love walk to his death just like that.

In seaon 9, He throws Cas put of the bunker without a second thought, Castiel is dying for like half of season 9 and half of seaon 10 but Dean doesn't even acknowledge it, even though he knew exctlt what was happening to Cas.

And like the only time you can argure that Dean was broken over Castiel is early seaon 13, when Castiel's death was literally their fault. And he did nothing to bring Cas back, like that's what 4 time cas died? And yet Dean prefers performing his grief over IDK thinking Cas would could come back again or looking for a way to do that

A BIG part of fandom also considers the confiessing a crime against Dean, where Cas dumped this big reveal on poor ol' Dean. While Dean himself was "Castiel who???"

[your-daily-snl]

Another Brothers, starring Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney as two unruly brothers who interrupt their parents' Super Bowl viewing party.

Original Air Date: 2019

[mysteriorb]

i love how some interpretations of mysterio seem like a silly 2-dimensional bad guy on the surface, but in reality he hides behind his mysterio persona because he felt inadequate and wanted to be something greater. he craves attention because he felt invisible as a child, and thought that the only way he could have power was by being someone else.

i wonder if because of quentin's neglectful father and dead mother, quentin got a lot of his ideas of how the world works from watching tv. he probably saw confident and over the top supervillains and wanted to be like them. he felt undeserving of love so he wanted people to fear him.

[lockandkeyhyena]

trying to sketch out piece ideas for art class :/

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

🦀🦀🦀

Make me write!! 15 sentences for you!!

I was inspired to turn a three sentence fic into something longer; this is based on this one

“That’s not fair,” Satine says, swiping angrily at her eyes, “what you said to me was cruel and unnecessary and—” “And it was the truth,” Andre interrupts her coldly, and Satine’s stomach ties itself further into knots. “You wanted the truth and you got it. What—would you rather I lie to you? Is that the kind of relationship you want, Satine? One built on dishonesty?” “Of course not.” “We could do that, you know,” Andre tells her, cupping Satine’s face in his hands, studying her like he's at the store trying to decide if the object he's holding is worth the cost. “I could tell you that you aren't often rather frustrating to deal with. I could tell you that you’re beautiful even when you aren’t. I could even tell you that I love you. But you’ll drive yourself mad, always wondering whether or not I really mean it. But if that’s what you want, then—” “No!” Satine interjects, "please don’t lie to me. I want the truth—even when it hurts.”

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Please tag this as "Beck" so I can find it. I'm looking for... another perspective, mostly?

tw discussions of csa, cocsa, sa in general, sexual harassment

so, im 15, and I don't know what "counts" as sexual assault. I have this thing I think a lot when people refer to certain things (basically anything that's not rape or attempted rape) as sexual assault where my knee-jerk reaction is to think (but i would NEVER say this to anyone) "oh, but that's not assault, it's 'just' harassment". and I've never really understood why I felt that way--I thought it was some misogynistic society bullshit--until very recently, when I realized the reason is because if XYZ thing counts as SA, then I've been sexually assaulted.

somehow it's easier for me to comprehend that it was "just" harassment. but basically, there's three incidents that stick out: one when I was 12 and 13, where my friend would repeatedly make sexual comments about me (and even once took off her shirt) and say i probably "liked it" because I was a bisexual girl (note i am transmasc now but at the time was girlmode). those ones are "just" harassment I think but they still really bother me. another when i was 13 when my different friend would 1) talk about how hot/sexy/etc she thought I was, unsolicited, and how she wanted to fuck me. at the time I thought I was okay with it, but looking back it was really only because all my other peers called me ugly all the time so I craved that validation. im pretty sure it made me uncomfortable even if I didn't quite realize. more pressingly, though, once at a party she tried to kiss me without my permission, almost succeeded, and I had to push her off me. everyone laughed, so I did too, treating it like a joke, and then i did kiss her afterward, but I think it was only because she wanted me to and I felt like I'd be "ruining the joke" if i didn't let her. I don't know if that's assault or not, since at the time I kind of thought it was OK bc it was for the bit or whatever. third, when I was 14, my aunt and mom got drunk when I was around. as i went to leave the room, my aunt slapped my ass, and I felt EXTRAORDINARILY uncomfortable, but when I tried to yell at her, she and my mom told me "if your aunt wants to touch you, she can touch you!! respect her!!". that's not the only time she's done that but it's the one I most clearly remember. I really don't know what that is, cause even though it's a clear violation of my boundaries in a place you can be touched sexually, it's not like she was? doing it? for sexual reasons? but at the same time if one of my cis male peers came up to me and slapped my ass with the same joke behind it, same response to my anger, and same brush off affect, I'd almost certainly call it assault, even if THEY weren't actually attracted to me either.

i don't know. I guess i just want someone to tell me what any of that "counts" as, or even just what sexual assault and sexual harassment ARE in general. it's not like anyone raped me. I have a friend whose gone through absolutely God awful sexual trauma, too, at a much younger age and much higher severity and frequency, so I really feel like whatever happened to me isn't that bad a deal, even though it does like distress me and stuff to think about.

-Beck (he/him)

Hi Beck,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through.

Please know that it's considered sexual harassment for someone to repeatedly make sexual comments towards you and insist that you like it. This is similar to catcalling, which is another form of sexual harassment. Someone making moves on you without your consent, including forced kissing, is also considered sexual harassment, and can even be considered sexual assault.

Someone slapping your ass without your consent can also be considered sexual assault, and I'm appalled that your mom defended your aunt's actions. It's a very twisted line of logic because it doesn't take into account respecting your boundaries and your body. If you don't want to be touched, there is nothing wrong with that and it's not disrespectful to set boundaries like that. I think that even if your aunt didn't necessarily have sexual intentions behind her action, your ass is still a private area and it's still assault to be touched without your consent. I have additional terms and definitions here.

It's important not to compare your experiences to others. As someone who was also told "it's not like you were raped", being raped is not The Ultimate Trauma and should never be used to minimize other trauma. Just because you weren't raped, and thank god you weren't, doesn't mean that the experiences you do have don't matter. Your experiences and feelings about them are valid. Comparing yourself to others you feel have gone through worse doesn't help you process or heal from your own experiences.

Trauma is not measured by what happened, because we all deal with it differently. Some people can go through something you may consider traumatic and be fine, while others may develop complex trauma disorders from the same event. That's because we all have different factors that affect our resiliency, such as genetics, environment, preexisting conditions, a history of trauma, tenacity, and more. This is why trauma is too subjective to be quantified by objective events, and rather by the way we process them mentally.

I'm not sure if your mom would be receptive, but it may be worthwhile to seek out a mental health professional such as a therapist, if you can access or afford it. A therapist could help you process your experiences and feelings surrounding them, equipping you with coping mechanisms to aid you on your healing journey.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[lockandkeyhyena]

some more exploratory sketches. while the story itself focuses on the aftermath of the abuse, i wanted to get down my ideas for the dynamic that occurred during the abuse.

alvin is a very self-pitying character, he uses his low self esteem to manipulate others into doing things for him because they feel sorry for him. he genuinely believes he deserves to get whatever he wants because he had a sad childhood and has convinced himself of his own excuses. he believes what he’s saying in the final image, because to face the truth of his actions would be too much to bear. however he’s more scared of getting caught than at the concept that he’s hurting someone.

he would frequently guilt trip ethan into doing whatever he wanted, followed up by rewarding him with good grades and gifts. ethan really looked up to him and viewed him as one of the very few trustworthy adult figures in his life.

[your-daily-snl]

Brothers, starring Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett as rambunctious brothers whose loving parents (Liev Schreiber, Cecily Strong) describe as being "a handful."

Original Air Date: 2018

[vampirecorleone]

"Dana Newman was a beautiful but abused lady who lived in the late 20th century. She had plastic surgeries to alter her perceived flaws, and after a botched experiment that mutilated her eye, she brutally killed herself in a bathtub at the clinic. Her ghost is bloody, naked, and carries the same knife she used to commit suicide." Horror Character Appreciation - Shawna Loyer as The Angry Princess in Thir13en Ghosts (2001) dir. Steve Beck

[w-istxria]

i used to get paid $45/hr to get both emotionally/verbally abused by both management and customers