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sacred-treasure · 2 months ago

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𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙧

𝗙𝗨𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗨𝗥𝗢 𝗧𝗢𝗝𝗜 𝘅 𝗙𝗘𝗠!𝗥��𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥

Summary: Toji comes home after a long shift to you, his sweet roommate, asleep on the couch. His innocent admiration turns into something darker as he gives into repressed desires

Warnings: dark content!!—dubcon, somnophilia (touching over clothes, reader orgasms while asleep), age gap (toji's in his 40s, reader's in her early 20s), pet names, smut, 18+, do not read if any of these are upsetting to you!!

Word Count: 2.75k

Author's Note: This is loosely based off of @holeforzenin's Roommate Toji series. That version of Roommate!Toji would not do something like this, but the idea of that dynamic had us both reeling and I absolutely had to write something about it!!

Toji was tired. No, exhausted.

He’s honestly not sure there’s a word in the dictionary that can truly sum up the total depletion of energy from his overworked muscles. Each work day is never just as short as the schedule says and with him working a blue collared job, there’s absolutely no way he gets to clock out unscathed.

Every night he comes home to a silent apartment, a cold bed, and dinner already packed up in two tupperware containers in the fridge. They have matching sticky notes attached to them; one says “dinner!” and the other says “for lunch!”, and if he’s honest, he finds the little smiley faces you draw beside the messages endearing. But he probably would never admit to it. Not to your face, at least.

He’s used to the hum of the microwave as he lets the scent of spices from your cooking fill the small space of the kitchen. Toji may not be good at expressing it but he’s truly quite thankful to have you around the apartment. It’s hard enough having a job that demands every waking moment from him—not to mention the stacks of billing statements sitting on the dining table—but having to plan meals after each night is truly something he doesn’t have time for.

But tonight, he has something better than a homemade meal waiting for him.

Toji unlocks the front door with one of the keys attached to the old carabiner hanging off his belt loop, the simple action feeling immensely laborious. Grabbing hold of the doorframe, he toes off his shoes one after the other and neatly sets them beside your pair of converse, the soles scuffed and worn with their age. When he finally raises his head, he’s met with your sleeping form draped across the couch.

Typically, you finish separating his meals after eating a portion yourself and spend the rest of the night in your room studying until your brain physically can’t cram any more information inside of it. He never asks for your attention, though he misses it dearly at night, and tends to cling onto the memories of your laughter filling the living room.

A sudden applause snaps him back to the present and he turns his head toward the sound. The television is still on, one of the old cartoons you mentioned you grew up watching plays softly in the background. He scoffs and shakes his head at some joke that falls flat before stepping with heavy feet further into the apartment until he’s towering over the couch where you lay.

The light from the screen bathes your face in a warm glow. He takes this moment to really commit your features to memory, although he doesn’t know the exact reasoning behind his actions. The scene from the show changes and the colors illuminating your face alter their hue. He thinks you look pretty like this, peaceful at last after all your running around between chores, classes, and work.

Toji doesn’t even think before reaching down and tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. Your nose crinkles from the tickle of his finger brushing across your cheek, but your eyes remain shut. A smile tugs at his lips as he finds the action kind of adorable.

His eyes begin to wander lower as he focuses on each one of your steady breaths. The rise and fall of your body is accentuated by the thin tank top that clings to your chest, the strap beginning to slip off your shoulder and exposing another inch to the line of your cleavage. He feels heat slowly begin to crawl up his neck and he immediately fixes his gaze on the wall above your head.

“Fuck, Fushiguro, you know better,” he scolds himself.

Has it been a while? Yes. Has he ever viewed you in that light before? Well, if he’s honest it has crossed his mind. He can’t exactly blame himself. All he’s had time for is work and barely getting enough rest before doing it all over again the next day. There hasn't been time to even think about getting into a relationship, much less having time to find someone for sex.

However, having a cute, young girl in the house certainly makes things interesting. He’s only had thoughts that involve you for a brief moment, and the second he realizes what he’s imagining, he forces himself to stop.

Though, there’s something about this scene that stirs in his stomach before settling below his belt. It’s a feeling he can’t name, but one that isn’t altogether unfamiliar. It’s something akin to lust, but there’s another emotion curled around it—guilt, or maybe shame. He knows the role he plays in your life and he knows damn well he shouldn’t even be considering something like this.

But today Toji is just too tired.

That indescribable feeling in the pit of his stomach returns but for once, he allows it to stay. His fingers reach for the remote to the television, sparing only one glance to press a soft button to mute the sound before placing it back on the table.

You look so pretty like this: hair sprawled out across the throw pillow, lips parted slightly with silent snores, pretty legs draped along the length of the couch. He doesn’t know why, but even with all the immense tons of guilt, he can’t stop himself from sinking down on the cushions beside you.

He tells himself he’ll only touch for a second. That’s all—he just needs one second to feel your warmth. But once his hand finally touches you for himself, he wonders why the hell he hasn’t done it sooner.

Soft doesn’t even begin to scrape the surface of just how heavenly you feel. His calloused palms lightly trail over the length of your shin, fingers curling around your smooth skin before brushing his thumb over your knee. Each touch is soaked in affection in its own specific way. Toji’s emotions blend and create something new he’s never felt before.

He lets out a heavy sigh through his nose as he halts his movements altogether. Reasoning and desire fight within him, his head is screaming protests that are ignored as his body’s instincts win the internal battle.

As he shoves the remaining guilt aside, that small spark in his stomach roars to life.

Toji leans down and presses his scarred lips to the bend of your knee. The touch is featherlight and innocent in its own way. With the close proximity, he can smell the scent of your body wash layered underneath the sweet smell of the lotion you lather yourself with after each shower.

The contact of his warm skin is met with goosebumps and he watches with awe as they scatter along the expanse of your leg. A smirk tugs at his mouth when he sees just how sensitive you are, even while unconscious. His eyes trail along your thigh, watching as the bumps spread higher and higher before they disappear under the hem of your pajama shorts.

The thin matching set you’re wearing does nothing but aid in the sense of guilt he’s already drowning in. It reminds him of how vulnerable you look like this, but he tries to reason with himself that he’s been good up until now, right?

His rough fingertips glide over your thigh but come to a full stop when they’re engulfed in the warmth pooling from your core. He hasn’t felt anything so welcoming in months—he doesn’t remember the last time he felt another person’s presence, besides the little moments he’s spent with you. But sexually? He feels like a goddamn teenager all over again.

The twitch of his cock behind his jeans is undeniable and he’s gritting his teeth in frustration at just how easily this is getting to him. But still, he presses on, his thumb swiftly pulling the hole of your shorts to the side and exposing your pink panties.

“Shit,” he mutters to himself in the otherwise silent room. The tension is so thick he wonders if choking on the air would be enough to kill him or if his racing heart would give out first. His hand moves of its own accord, traveling down to the worn denim and cupping the growing bulge below his belt. It’s screaming for relief, for any kind of friction, and his palm does little to stop the continuous blood flowing to the area.

Toji hesitantly reaches for your clothed center, his fingers pressing gently to the supple skin between your thighs. The heat nearly makes him flinch and he swears he hasn’t felt something this soft in his entire life. You let out a quiet sound from his touch as you stir in your sleep. His eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights but you merely change the angle of your arm before drifting back off once more.

Toji swallows once before continuing, his eyes trained on the barely noticeable line along the center of your panties. His thumb reaches blindly to the gentle slope of your body and makes contact with your clit. He applies the slightest bit of pressure, smiling as he notices the way your leg twitches, unsure of whether to close or not.

Your head turns and your eyebrows pull together in pleasure at the slow circling of his thumb. On a particular hard press, your breath hitches before breaking off in a pitchy whine. He’s absolutely certain he’s never heard anything sound as sweet as that noise and he’s determined to hear more.

He runs his pointer finger along the center of your folds and watches in awe as the fabric darkens immediately from your slick. He feels his body react strongly to the sight and suddenly his own underwear are sticking to him after a rush of precum leaks from his swollen tip. His freehand curls around his cock and squeezes just underneath the head, refusing to loosen his grip.

The sensation of the damp fabric sticking to your most sensitive area has a shiver creeping up your spine and your skin pebbles once more. Toji’s lust-filled, green eyes follow them in their wake up until they dive under the thin material of your tank top. Your nipples harden in response, peeking the fabric as they stiffen.

This is the most restraint Toji has ever shown in his life, he’s absolutely sure of it.

Every nerve in his body is set alight and is screaming out to touch you more, touch you the way he truly wants. His mind floods with the most perverted images: your eyes shiny with unfallen tears, his name falling from your swollen lips, you seeking him out when you just can’t finish yourself off. Every scene piles on top of the one before until anything left of his conscience is fully submerged in the thought of you.

“T…Toji?” Your voice weakly calls out into the quiet space, shattering the silence. His eyes immediately lock onto yours, taking in the dazed expression on your face. You’re blinking sleep out of your eyes but still drowning in the unconscious fog you were just under.

“Shh, shh, shh,” Toji placates gently, neither of his hands even attempting to stop their motions.

“W-What are you doing?” The tremor in your voice is notable as your gaze casts downwards, watching his wrist moving between your thighs. You gasp at the feeling, suddenly aware of how alarmingly tight the coil inside your stomach already is. “Mmm, Toji, I don’t know if you should be—,” you attempt to warn him, but he cuts you off once more.

“Let me take care of you. Just like I always do, right?” His deep voice is different than you’ve ever heard before. It’s rougher now, something gravely laced into his tone that isn’t the usual fatigue that you’re used to hearing after his late night shifts.

“I take care of you, don’t I, sweetheart?” He presses further, awaiting an answer. You hesitantly nod your head before resting it back against the pillow you had been sleeping on, letting the sensations of his experienced hands roll over your tired body.

“Attagirl, there she is. I got you,” he mutters to himself as he sees your eyes beginning to flutter shut. He pulls his hand away from your clit and begins to rub the inside of your thigh soothingly. His touch makes the slight panic flea your mind, he can physically see the tension leave your body as you give into your unconsciousness lulling you under the waves once more.

“So good for me…” The whispered words fall on deaf ears but he smiles at your features falling back into the peaceful state again. His cock is pulsing faster than the rise and fall of your chest, aching to be freed from the old denim of his jeans. But he focuses all his attention on you instead.

He brings his calloused palm back between your legs to cup your covered pussy once more. This time, he tugs at the bow at the center of the waistband, watching with a stifled groan as the panties bunch up between your folds. The action only defines your body even further and he has to bite back the urge to tear the fabric entirely.

“You’re fuckin’ ruining me,” Toji grunts as he presses his thumb back to your clit. He moves quicker this time, determined to make you feel good. He applies more pressure on each circle around your sensitive spot and your body begins to reel from it all.

Your thighs shut around his hand, rocking up into his touch subconsciously. Small whines begin cascading from your mouth and it only spurs him on further.

Toji doesn’t slow his actions when he notices you coming for him. He merely watches as your back arches, hips chasing after your orgasm as breathy, broken sounds spill past your parted lips. Your stomach clenches, thighs tensing as your hand comes to weakly push his larger one away when the pleasure blurs into overstimulation.

“Tojiiiii.” Another weak whimper escapes your slumber as your leg faintly twitches with his slow circles. Pride soaks the smile that adorns his face and he can’t even help the whispered praise that leaves him.

“Good girl. Did so, so well,” his speaks softly, the words dripping with adoration. You begin to move again and his eyes follow to your fingers that softly curl around his palm. There’s a fondness in his chest as he watches you reach out to him, looking for his support even in your subconsciousness.

Any remaining energy is completely drained from your body after the orgasm he brought forth. He watches your body fall into a deeper sleep than before he even interrupted, your chest reverting to its slow rise and fall. He gives a light squeeze to your curled fingers before standing up to finally retreat to his room for the first time tonight.

“Get some rest, pretty,” he whispers against your forehead as he bends down. His lips press a gentle kiss to your temple as he cups the back of your head, the act completely innocent in nature.

When Toji finally sinks into the soft mattress of his bed, he’s drowning in the memories of what just occurred. His cock still aches for his attention, swollen tip flushed and shiny with precum. He frees himself from the confines of the denim, wincing when his hard length slaps up against his stomach. The same hand that brought on your orgasm wraps around his thick dick. It doesn’t take long until he’s spilling white, a choked back grunt stuck in his throat as he pictures your soaked panties.

The next morning, the both of you dance around each other with a thickness in the air. Toji’s unable to meet your eyes due to the knowledge of what he’s done.

“Did you sleep well?” You ask innocently from the kitchen counter, your back facing the man twice your age. Toji chokes on his coffee, setting the mug down all too fast while clutching his chest.

“Shit,” he curses as he catches his breath. “Y-yeah. Guess I did?” The statement twists highest at the end and comes across as more of a question. “Late night. ‘M beat. How about you, kid?”

“I slept okay, I think? Had a weird dream last night,” your voice grows quieter as the flashes of Toji’s face foggily return to your brain. “Felt so realistic, though…”

#chelsea writes ᕱ⑅ᕱ #this was a CRAZY ride cause i just realized i like this……..#but i’m learning that i can like things in fiction and not in real life CKSKDKS #anyway!! i hope y’all like it!! first full length fic! :D #toji fushiguro #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji jjk #toji x reader #toji x you #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #fushiguro toji smut #fushiguro toji x reader #fushiguro toji x you #anime smut

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afortoru · 1 year ago

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I might look alright from outside but deep down im in desperate need to buy a suncream 🥲

#𝓂𝑒 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓈 ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ #im just....dare i say...too busy #absolutely packed schedule...#gonna meet the prime minister tomorrow #🙄🙄🙄🙄#literally me to myself...girl go get a suncream... you're out at 1 pm in tge afternoon...with no scarf on?!?!?!#desiblr

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cherryredstarz · 4 months ago

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Little Dove

A/n: Sylus is such a girl dad ��🥺I tried to mirror this similarly to Little Apple for consistency, lemme know if I should do this for the other lads boys

Cw: pregnancy, cute baby, fluffy dad Sylus

You’re pregnant.

Your periods a month late, and you were worried how you’d tell Sylus; not that you didn’t want to have a baby—his baby no less, but it wasn’t exactly planned.

The twenty eight year old was absolutely thrilled when you showed him three positive pregnancy tests (he’d been determined to knock his girl up). Sylus will take care of your every need and desire, leaving no room for wish or want in your heart—cooking healthy meals for you and the baby, flying in foreign snacks you’re craving, and many, many back massages.

You’d never seen the stoic leader of Onychinus so happy. He was going to be a daddy. And when you went to your ultrasound appointment and learned you were having a little baby girl, Sylus was over the damn moon. A mini-you. A tiny little girl with your eyes and hair, your nose, your smile, everything.

Sylus had everything prepared for the nursery—he’d painted the walls a soothing blue himself, contrary to his usual red, as you painted little stars and flowers on the walls to imitate wallpaper. He’d ordered traditional wooden furniture, and you watched from the couch as he put it all together instead of having it premade. He’d take you shopping for baby clothes and baby toys, giving you his black card and telling you to go wild. After all, your baby deserved to be spoiled.

He’s had a hospital bag packed and ready to go the month you shared your pregnancy—not that you’d be going to a hospital; he’d flown in a team of highly certified and competent physicians (he’d kill them all if anything happened to you or your baby) for the last month of your pregnancy.

As soon as you go into labor, Sylus will call in the physicians and make you as comfortable as possible. Surprisingly, you have a very easy birth. Don’t get it wrong—it still hurt, but you had no tearing or complications. When the head physician gently placed your tiny girl on your chest—only seven pounds, you began to cry. Sylus was worried at first, until he realized they were happy tears, and relaxed.

It was your baby—you and the love of your life just had a baby together. Your tiny family was utterly perfect.

Sylus is a doting father and husband—constantly taking care of your little one so you can fully rest and recover. He’ll stay up with you during feedings in the middle of the night (man has no sleep schedule), rubbing your back and whispering sweet words of encouragement. He’ll feed your little one breast milk from bottles during the day as you nap or take time to yourself, finding that sparkle in yourself again.

His tiny girl, his Little Dove, is just dozing against his chest. Her tiny eyes are squeezed shut, her little lips in a firm pout. Funnily enough, she came out looking just like him: little white fluff (albeit curly like your own), and red doe eyes. It was almost as if your genes didn’t even try to compete—but she has your nose and eyebrow shape. A perfect mixture of both him and you.

His Little Dove coos softly, her tiny hands trying to clench on his shirt, her little feet kicking a little. Sylus will soothingly stroke her tiny back, and gently kiss her tiny forehead.

His Little Dove.

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suliigwp · 1 month ago

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HIII omg i love your writings!! got this idea while i was in the bathroom blasting alchemy by taylor swift and you were the first writer i thought of that i know would slay this! Reader is a known singer but she doesnt really write love songs which charles is completely fine about. His friends ask and tease him about it and he brushes it off then one night on one of her tours she sings alchemy for the first time while charles is watching from the crowd. His whole world stops and maybe even tears up then he just goes on for days bragging about it. HUMOUR AND FLUFFF WHATEVER U WANT THANK YOU SO MUCH

WHERES THE TROPHY?

Charles Leclerc x Singer! Reader | fluff

SULI: hiii omg you have no idea how much it means remembering me first🥹 thank you soooo much!!!!! — very cool because I actually do have a singer!readers series coming up but none of the love interests is Charles sadly— but I really love singer au's and this was so much fun to write! Thank you so much for requesting, love you, hope you enjoy🫶

I'm absolutely obsessed with this song — stream "The alchemy" now!!!

Warnings: none, short and sweet, Twitter post at the end

Charles liked to think he had you figured out.

At least, the version of you the world didn’t get to see — the quiet one, the tired one after long studio nights, the version that wore his hoodie to bed and snuck kisses onto his shoulder when you thought he was sleeping.

He liked being the silent inspiration, the person behind the curtain. You were his in private — that was more than enough.

"She doesn't write love songs."

That was the line Charles Leclerc had come to know and love. He’d heard it in interviews, read it in headlines, and smiled through every late-night talk show where someone inevitably asked, “So, do you really not write about him?”

The camera would zoom in, the crowd would laugh, and you’d flash that sly little grin. “Don't worry, if I wrote a love song,” you always said, “you’d know it.”

Charles didn’t mind. In fact, he was fine with it.

You were his.

Even if the rest of the world liked to think you belonged to them.

The fans, the cameras, the interviews — they all wanted pieces. But Charles had long made peace with being the part no one else got to hear in the songs.

Because you didn’t write love songs.

Everyone said so.

You said so.

And Charles believed it. Until the night you didn’t.

...

back, first year of dating

“You still haven’t written a song about me,” Charles teased from the couch, bare feet on the floor, one arm lazily slung around your waist. His eyes were half-lidded, lips curled into that soft smile he only gave you when the world was quiet.

You rolled your eyes, brushing your fingers through his curls. “You say that like you’re not already in every other one.”

“Yes, but I want the main character treatment,” he said, dramatically pressing a hand to his chest. “The standing ovation. The bridge that emotionally ruins people.”

You just laughed, kissed his cheek, and said, “Maybe when you win Monaco.”

He groaned. “Cruel woman.”

...

He hadn't told you he was coming.

You were in the middle of a sold-out run through Europe, and Charles was drowning in simulator sessions and car debriefs. But when he saw the gap in his schedule, he booked the ticket quietly, packed light, and told his engineers he was leaving for “something more important than tyre degradation.”

Barcelona was a quick flight from Monaco. Your show there had been sold out for months, and he knew better than to try and sneak in through backstage. So he did what no one expected:

He lined up like everyone else.

He didn’t tell you. You were always happiest on stage, and he wanted to be just another face in the crowd that night. Just a quiet, anonymous dot in a sea of lights and sweat and noise.

Hood up, cap low, a simple black tee that did nothing to hide how gorgeous he was. He bought a pit wristband from resale (triple the price, but whatever), pushed into the crowd, and waited.

His heart beat harder the closer it got to showtime.

He didn’t know why. He’d seen you perform dozens of times. Hell, he’d watched you rehearse in sweats with a tea bag hanging out of your mouth. He lived with you.

But something about tonight buzzed different.

The lights dimmed.

The crowd erupted.

And then you appeared.

...

You always had a certain way of standing still — calm, rooted, like you didn’t need fireworks to be the most magnetic person in the room. Charles felt the shift the second you stepped up to the mic.

“This one’s new,” you said softly.

The crowd stilled.

“I wasn’t planning to play it live yet, but…”

You paused, and smiled.

“He’s here tonight.”

The girls around Charles screamed.

He went still.

No.

You’re not—

The opening chords were simple, soft. A rhythmic pulse like a heartbeat.

"Shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads, Champagne sticking to the floor"

The lyrics felt so close, so personal, Charles swore you were staring right at him, even though you couldn’t see him through the crowd.

"Cheers chanted, cause they said, There was no chance, trying to be The greatest in the league"

And then.

Then.

“Where’s the trophy? He just comes running over to me.”

Charles’s knees nearly buckled.

The lyric struck him like a punch to the gut.

He didn’t even breathe for a second — chest tight, hands shaking, mouth parted in stunned silence.

You remembered.

Monaco.

That day.

The crowd, the flags, the win — his first home win. The one he had chased like a ghost for years.

He remembered the noise, the champagne, the cameras flashing. But more than anything, he remembered you, standing behind the barrier, tucked to the side — quiet and glowing and waiting.

He hadn’t even thought.

He just ran.

Straight to you. Through the crowd. Past everyone. Helmet barely off.

You caught him in your arms like you’d been waiting there your whole life.

“Where’s the trophy?” the reporter had asked him after.

And he’d smiled before glancing over at you.

...

By the time you hit the final chorus, Charles had completely given up pretending he was okay.

His eyes were glassy. His cheeks were damp.

A teenage girl next to him elbowed her friend and whispered, “That guy is, like, sobbing.”

He didn’t even notice.

When you sang the last line and let the guitar fall quiet, Charles couldn’t move.

The stadium exploded in sound.

You bowed.

The lights went out.

And he just stood there — one hand pressed over his heart, whispering the lyric under his breath like a prayer.

...

Backstage, everything felt like static.

You were mid-change when a tech knocked on the greenroom door.

“Uh… sorry, there’s a guy trying to come back here. He says he’s your boyfriend? Hoodie, cap, extremely beautiful—kind of panicked?”

You laughed, heart already racing.

“Let him in.”

Charles barrelled into the room like a man possessed.

“You—” he said, voice raw.

You turned, makeup still smudged, hair frizzing from sweat, and barely had time to open your arms before he was there — pulling you into him like he hadn’t seen you in years.

“Monaco?” he whispered.

You nodded against his chest.

He pulled back just slightly, hands cupping your face, eyes red-rimmed and earnest. “You remembered.”

“Of course I did.”

“You wrote about it.”

A breathless laugh. “You wrote about me.”

You shrugged playfully, nose brushing his. “Guess you’re the main character now.”

His grin cracked wide and helpless, and then he kissed you. Soft, slow, deep — the kind of kiss that says thank you and I love you and I’m never letting this go.

“You’re screwed now,” he whispered, grinning against your mouth.

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to brag about this forever.”

...

And he did.

The next morning:

And for the rest of the season, no matter how many podiums he earned, Charles had one answer to every post-race interview:

“Where’s the trophy, Charles?”

“She’s probably watching from home.”

Taglist, comment to be added;

@angstynasty @cryinghotmess @mits-vi @dramaticpiratellamas @mimisweetz @mrssaturday @chiara8104 @moonlight-girls-posts @linnygirl09 @rue-t @danielricroll @the-vex-archives @trees-are-books @blodwyn4u @yoruse @ccrickett-t @l-a-u-r-aaa @multifans-things @woderfulkawaii @azrinableuet @mayax2o07 @everyday-is-sunday365 @devilacot

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em1i2a3 · 23 days ago

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Business

Pairing: Bob/Robert Reynolds/The Sentry/The Void x Thunderbolts!Fem!Reader

Summary: After a night on the town with your old field ops team, you return to the Watchtower in hopes of making a drunken confession to Bob that will change your friendship forever.

Warnings: Fluff, and Some Angst, Reader and Bob are friends and aren’t dating, Mentions of heavy drinking, reader drinks until they are very drunk/tipsy (it is described), Drunken Confessions (and the embarrassment that comes with it afterwards lol), Mentions of throwing up/Hangovers, Reader is kind of hard on themselves regarding love, Bob takes care of the reader while she is in this drunken stupor and he kind of secretly loves every second of it? We are finally attacking the good old Drunken Confession Trope y’all and I frickin love it!!!!

Author’s Note: Y’all I frickin adore a good old love confession trope, like holy crappppp. This was a request from ‘Book anon’, amazing request, thank you a lot for it, I absolutely loved writing it for ya <3. Hope it’s what you’re lookin for! Also…It’s Rhett Abbott Friday…Y’know what that means…Double updates :p

Word Count: 8,137

The bar was absolute chaos.

It pulsed like a living thing–thick with music, sweaty bodies, and the pungent scent of spilled beer and a cocktail of various colognes mixing together, sharp and heady in the humid air. It clung to your skin, warm and damp, tasting like salt and gin and smoke from the overworked fryer in the back kitchen.

There was a faint haze that clouded the enclosed space from people sharing vapes and sneaking off to the alleyway to have a quick cigarette–but this was all normal for a Friday night at a downtown bar. Normal for a place like this, where you didn’t come to relax, you came to drown something.

The ceiling fans spun lazily overhead, which did nothing to help the heat, it just pushed the warm air in spirals. The walls were exposed brick, cracked in places, and plastered with old concert posters and handwritten signs advertising ‘$6 shots if you tip well’ and ‘No Vaping Inside (We See You)’. Every surface glistened faintly with condensation or sweat or both, and the wood beneath your elbows was sticky with spilled drinks and the ghosts of a thousand stories.

Somewhere to your left, the jukebox warbled the opening chords to a song that had no business being that loud, and someone shouted in recognition, fists raised. Glass clinked, a cheer erupted near the dartboard, and the bartender didn’t look up once–just kept pouring with the efficiency of a soldier who had seen war in shot glass form.

You and your old team took up four stools near the far end of the bar–just close enough to the speakers that conversation came in shouts and fragments, but far enough that you could pretend the chaos wasn’t swallowing you whole. The bar was packed shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers, but around your little carved-out corner, it still felt like them–back when your life was smaller, rougher around the edges, but easier to understand.

Benji, always the loudest and boldest, lifted his beer with exaggerated ceremony, nearly tipping it as he stood one foot on the stool’s lower rung. His cheeks were already flushed, the sleeves of his worn flannel pushed up past his elbows, one of them singed at the cuff from a mission he still refused to talk about. His knuckles were always bruised, and there was a faded tattoo peeking from under his collar that said ‘Viva La Prague’–something that he regretted getting when he woke up the next morning.

“Cheers to Y/N!” He bellowed, beer sloshing over his knuckles. “For finding time in her very demanding, top-secret, super glamorous Avenger-adjacent schedule to come slum it with us mortals for one night.” Calla let out a sharp laugh and clinked her whiskey glass against his. Her laugh was sharp like broken glass but warm beneath it–always had been. She still wore the same dog tags under her tank top, still had that scar across her forearm from the rooftop extraction in Marrakesh. She had this permanent smudge of black eyeliner beneath her eyes like she never fully washed off the field, even now.

“Damn right,” She said. “You realize you’re sitting next to someone who’s brushed shoulders with some of the most dangerous people on this planet?”

“And still somehow manages to answer my texts,” Rye added dryly, raising his own glass with a faint smirk. He was the quiet one, always had been. Broad-shouldered and sharp-eyed, more thoughtful than most gave him credit for. You used to joke that his blood ran cold–until the night he’d broken protocol to drag Benji out of a firefight with nothing but a cracked riot shield and a broken rib. He didn’t speak much, but when he did, it landed.

You flushed at the array of comments, ducking your head with a half-laugh, fingers curling loosely around the rim of your mint mojito. The ice had melted, watered the drink down to something limp and barely sweet–just the faint herbal bitterness of wilted mint and cheap rum. You sipped it anyway. It gave your hands something to do. Something to hold onto in the midst of all this.

“Please, guys,” You started with a tight laugh, trying to wave it all off. “You always make a big deal out of this stuff when it’s really not.”

Calla scoffed, swirling the ice in her glass. “Sure. You’ve got a god on your team. And the Winter So–”

“Bucky Barnes,” You interrupted quickly, not looking up from your drink when you corrected her. She smirked over the rim of her glass.

“Alright…Bucky Barnes. My apologies. Didn’t realize it was so formal.” You sighed and took another sip of your wilted mojito.

“We’re also still in a fight for the rights to the name, technically. So I’m not an Avenger. I’m a Thunderbolt.” Rye gave a low grunt and brushed that off with a lazy wave of his hand.

“Please. You guys saved New York City from that big shadow guy. Don’t tell me you’re not on the same level as them.” You groaned, hand lifting to your temple.

“That big shadow guy is the alter ego of the god you’re referring to,” You muttered, rubbing the thin skin on the side of your head with a sigh, “Just saying…And on top of that he’s out of commission so…Technically we’re down a god.” Calla tilted her head.

”Well that must mess up the team dynamic.” She replied, letting out a huff of a laugh. You didn’t answer–not right away at least. You just stared into the half-melted swirl of your drink and felt something subtle crack open beneath your ribs.

Because from the minute they brought up The Void, or Sentry…Your mind went back to him again…

Bob.

You had done everything you could tonight to keep your thought off of him. You came here to be loud, to get drunk, and to surround yourself with the memory of who you were before he started slipping under your skin like golden light through fractured glass.

But now that his name tiptoed through the caverns of your mind, it was impossible to ignore the ache. That slow-burning, bone-deep, stomach turning pull that never left–because he never left. Because he was always there, buried within the little things that littered your life.

Like the way he’d appear in the observation deck above the training floor when you were running combat drills. You’d feel it first, that prickle at the back of your neck that you got when you knew his eyes were on you. That hush just beneath the noise. When you’d glance up mid-round, panting and flushed, there he would be. Leaning with his forearms braced against the railing, light brown hair tousled, and sleeves pushed up, with his eyes locked on you with the softest kind of focus.

When your eyes would meet his, he’d smile–small and startled, like he hadn’t expected to be caught, and then came the little wave. That dumb little half-wave of his. Fingers lifting slowly, shy and gentle, like he was suddenly shy about the fact he was watching you as if you were under a microscope.

You’d raise your hand in return, trying not to blush, and he’d disappear a minute later��quiet as he came–leaving behind the weight of his presence like the last warmth from a sunbeam that had already moved on.

You told yourself it didn’t mean anything. That he probably watched everyone. That he must have waved at someone else like that, and visited them when they were training too. But still…The moment never left you.

Then sometimes you’d catch him in the kitchen before dawn, getting breakfast ready for you before a whole morning of briefings.

It didn’t matter how early you got up, how quiet you were when you crept into the kitchen, or how late the last mission had run. He was already there. Pajama pants hanging low on his hips, t-shirt wrinkled and inside-out, hair sticking up like he’d rolled out of bed ten minutes ago–because he had. Just for this.

He never said much. Just hummed quietly under his breath, something tuneless and soft, his mug of tea steaming beside the stove as he stirred eggs in a pan like the world wasn’t sitting on his shoulders. There was always a banana sliced with precise, practiced symmetry. Always a small bowl of whatever fruit hadn’t gone soft in the fridge. Always coffee waiting–and not just brewed, but made right. The exact way you liked it.

He never asked how you took it. He just…Knew.

At first you thought it was a coincidence. Then a fluke. Then you thought it was something he specifically did just for you because he was trying to tell you something he couldn’t say with words.

But then you noticed the post-it notes. Little squares of yellow stuck to the fridge door, each one penned in Bob’s unmistakably neat handwriting–slightly slanted, soft around the corners like he hesitated before each letter. A dozen gentle reminders. A dozen invisible kindnesses.

“Leftovers in the container–help yourself :)”

“Made a plain omelette for you Bucky! Check the top shelf!”

”Yelena! I picked up your favourite fruit snacks!”

And you realized…He remembered everyone.

He remembered how Yelena peeled her oranges in one spiral and hated blueberry yogurt. He remembered Bucky’s low tolerance for spice and how he liked his food seasoned well but not with crazy amounts of experimental ingredients. He remembered how Walker took his coffee too sweet and how you once mentioned you liked banana slices with cinnamon–once–and they had shown up on your plate the very next morning. He even remembered specific details about Alexei’s odd meal plan and attempted multiple times to get it right for him.

He was kind to everyone.

Consistent. Gentle. Attentive.

And not just with you.

And that realization sat in your stomach like a stone.

Cold and sinking.

Because all those moments you’d hoarded like firelight–his quiet glances, his shy smiles, his soft waves from the upper deck–they weren’t yours. They weren’t special. You’d just made them feel that way. You had done that. You’d built a shrine to him in your heart based on borrowed things.

And God, did it hurt to realize that.

The ache in your chest twisted, sharp and punishing, because you’d let yourself believe. You’d let yourself hope.

You wanted a sign. Just one. Something undeniable. Something that said:

I see you the way you see me.

But it never came, Instead, you had small waves, and breakfast, and polite, crushing kindness.

He haunted you in the gentlest ways imaginable.

And it killed you every single time.

You inhaled sharply through your nose and blinked hard, forcing your eyes back to the present, back to the bar where Calla was laughing at something Benji said and Rye had his glass tipped back like he was trying to disappear into it. The room swam in noise–booming bass, clinking glass, a woman’s voice singing a chorus in a key she couldn’t quite reach. It all blurred around the edges.

And maybe that was what you needed tonight.

To blur the reality you were facing a bit.

You slapped your palm lightly on the bar, catching the bartender’s eye with practiced ease.

“Shots,” You called out over the music, voice a little too bright, a little too loud. “Four of ‘em. Tequila, preferably please.” Benji whooped. Calla raised her brows. Rye didn’t say a word, but his smirk deepened.

And you smiled. You smiled like it didn’t hurt. Like your heart hadn’t just folded in on itself. Like you weren’t standing knee-deep in the quiet ruins of all the little almosts that Bob had given you without ever meaning to.

You would drink until your body was louder than your thoughts.

You would drink until your head buzzed louder than the ache in your chest.

Until the weight of his quiet love for everyone drowned out the way you had foolishly wanted it to be just for you.

So when the bartender slid the shots across the bar, you didn’t hesitate.

You knocked the first one back with shaking fingers.

Bitter. Clean. Empty.

And you welcomed the burn.

——————————

The city blurred past the window of your Uber, a smear of neon and streetlamp gold, glowing through the raindrops that had started falling sometime after shot number three. Your head lolled slightly against the window, eyes half-lidded, the hum of the tires and your own pulse making everything feel distant–like you were underwater. Or watching your life from outside your body.

By the time the car pulled up in front of the Watchtower–a steel-and-glass monolith that sliced through the dark sky of New York City–you were barely holding onto the thread of consciousness that guided your limbs.

You fumbled with the handle before the driver even came to a full stop, murmured something that was half “thanks” and half “sorry,” and stepped out into the night on legs that didn’t quite feel like yours.

The heels were a mistake. You knew it the moment your ankle gave a soft warning twist on the slick pavement.

You wobbled, caught yourself against the doorframe of the Uber with a slurred curse, and gritted your teeth as you leaned heavily against the side of the building. The clutch in your hands was trembling. Or maybe that was just you. It took three full tries before you got your fingers to actually grip the zipper and tug it open.

Keys. Where the hell were your keys?

You muttered softly to yourself–nothing coherent, just a trail of “come on, come on, come on’s”–until finally your fingers brushed cold metal and closed around it.

You fumbled the key into the reader by the glass security panel. The red light blinked once.

Then again.

Then turned green with a chirp.

“Ha,” You breathed victoriously, stumbling inside, your shoulder knocking against the side of the lobby door as it whooshed shut behind you. The interior lighting was dim and moody, the kind of atmospheric glow designed to look expensive and feel exclusive. Everything in here was marble or glass or brass-accented. Everything screamed quiet money and polished silence.

You certainly did not match that aesthetic, not tonight at least.

Not in your tiny black slip dress, silk clinging to your damp skin like it was reluctant to let go. The hem was hitting high on your thighs, dangerously close to riding up with every step. The plunging neckline had been a power move at the bar–now it just felt…Exposed. The thin straps had slid halfway down your shoulders, and the delicate silver jewelry at your throat glittered faintly under the chandelier lighting–dainty hoops, a little pendant, the layered rings on your fingers clinking faintly against your clutch.

Your heels clicked unevenly against the sleek tile floor, your mascara slightly smudged beneath one eye, lips tinged pink and glossy, though the edges were wearing off. Your hair had frizzed a bit from the humidity, and it was dampened from where sweat and summer air had kissed it. You looked like you barely survived the night.

You stumbled forward, half-dragged by the momentum of your own steps, your shoulder grazing the edge of the marble wall as you made your way toward the elevator tucked at the far end of the lobby. The walls glittered faintly with embedded flecks of quartz, cool and luxurious against the chaos clinging to you like perfume and poor decisions.

You hit the call button with more force than necessary, nearly stabbing it with your thumb. The ring around it lit up in a soft gold halo, and somewhere behind the mirrored doors, gears began to churn.

You closed your eyes and tipped your head back against the cold marble, breathing through your nose. Big mistake.

The room swayed.

Your stomach rolled.

You squeezed your eyes shut tighter.

“Fuck.” You mumbled.

That sickly wave of nausea was curling up your throat now, hot and bitter like it had been distilled straight from regret and tequila. The inside of your skull throbbed, slow and heavy, like the hangover had decided to arrive early and was already unpacking its bags behind your eyes.

The elevator chimed softly.

You pushed off the wall and stumbled in just as the doors slid open, nearly tripping on the threshold as your heel caught on the groove. Your hand slapped against the mirrored wall for balance.

Cool air kissed your bare skin as you stepped into the softly lit interior that reflected your image back at you tenfold. It was quiet thankfully, and you hoped that it would ease the sickly feeling that was brewing beneath the surface.

You exhaled a long, shaky breath.

Then, with a small whimper of relief, you bent to unstrap your heels, one hand bracing on the brass railing that ran along the mirrored back wall. You kicked the shoes off with a graceless thud, the straps tangling around each other as they landed in the corner like discarded evidence of the night you were trying to outrun.

Your bare feet met the cool tile floor, and you sighed as if that alone had peeled away a layer of your exhaustion. It didn’t, really. But it helped enough.

The panel of glowing buttons waited silently beside you. You squinted at it, already swaying as your fingers hovered in hesitation.

You pressed 64.

Then 73.

Then 87, your eyes blinking slowly with a look of concentration like you were solving a puzzle only you understood.

The elevator didn’t move.

“Oh my god,” you muttered under your breath, dragging a hand down your face.

Then, finally, you reached out and pressed 80.

Home.

The right floor.

The correct button glowed back at you, steady and sure, as the elevator gave a soft mechanical sigh and began to rise.

You leaned back against the mirrored wall, shoulders slumping, one hand pressed flat to your stomach as if you could calm the roiling sea inside you by sheer will. The light above your head flickered slightly with each passing floor. The city outside blurred behind the glass wall of the elevator shaft, nothing more than distant, glowing geometry.

Your reflection caught your eye on the polished surface behind you.

You looked…Like a mess.

Not in the beautiful, tragic way either. In the real way. In the mascara-smudged, lipstick-faded, emotionally-gutted way. Your dress clung to your sides, one strap threatening to fall again. Your fingers were still curled loosely around your clutch, your knuckles tight with tension even though you hadn’t realized you were gripping it that hard.

Your eyes–God, your eyes. They looked glassy, like you had put eyedrops in them and they didn’t absorb properly.

You pressed your forehead to the cool mirror, the glass fogging faintly from your breath. You didn’t want to cry. You didn’t have the energy to cry.

So you didn’t.

You just stood there, barefoot and quiet, while the elevator climbed.

And with every passing floor, it felt like you were being carried closer and closer towards the part of yourself you had tried so desperately to drown tonight.

Up.

The elevator gave a soft ding as it arrived at the 80th floor, and the doors slid open with a whisper, spilling warm light and the faint scent of something buttery into the space around you.

You stumbled forward like gravity had suddenly tripled, one hand still braced against the mirrored wall until your foot hit the edge of the elevator threshold. Your clutch slipped from your fingers and hit the floor with a muffled thunk, but you didn’t stop to pick it up.

The living space that unfolded in front of you was dim but alive in the quiet, familiar way that only the Watchtower could be at night. The common room stretched out in soft pools of warm yellow light, lamps scattered strategically along the shelves and corners, casting long shadows over the leather couches and polished floorboards. A movie played on low volume from the TV, some old sci-fi flick that was mostly just flickering blue light across the far wall. Someone had left a blanket thrown over the back of the couch, and the faintest scent of popcorn clung to the air–microwaved, and slightly burnt.

The floor under your bare feet was cool and smooth, and the air here was different–cleaner, quieter. It should have sobered you a bit but it didn’t. If anything, the stillness made the emotional noise inside you ring louder.

You wandered forward like a ghost through the room, mumbling a little laugh to yourself as you navigated around the edge of the coffee table and nearly tripped over the corner of a throw pillow. You caught yourself on the arm of the couch, a breathy giggle escaping your lips.

”O-Oh boy…” Came a soft, familiar voice from the left, and you froze like someone had turned a spotlight onto you, “Someone’s d-drunk.” Your head jerked up, eyes wide, and you found Bob standing just beyond the breakfast bar, halfway between the common room and the kitchen.

He looked soft in the low light, like the moment had rounded all his unintentional edges. He was barefoot in flannel sleep pants and a worn navy blue cotton t-shirt, sleeves loose on his biceps, with the collar slightly stretched from multiple washes. His light brown crown of hair was brushed back like he had ran his hands through it to get it that way–it looked neater than normal. He was holding a glass of water, while leaning on his free hand that rested on the counter beside him, and his deep blue eyes glowed faintly, just enough to reflect the soft lamplight that surrounded him.

Your eyes softened the second they landed on him.

Like the sight of Bob in the soft kitchen glow had physically reached inside your chest and flipped the switch that held you together.

“…Bob…” you breathed, barely a whisper, the syllable thick with alcohol and emotion. His name left your lips like a prayer or a spell–like something that lived under your tongue, always waiting to escape.

You stumbled toward him, your steps loose and unsteady, arms swaying slightly as if you couldn’t quite feel your own limbs. He moved the moment your weight pitched too far forward–quick but gentle, setting the glass down and reaching for you.

His arm caught you right before your knees could give, wrapping firmly around your waist as you let out a tiny gasp, hands clinging to the soft fabric of his shirt.

“Woah–got you,” He murmured, voice quiet and careful, like he was speaking to something fragile. His other hand steadied your arm, helping you straighten just enough to stop swaying.

Your eyes drifted up to his face again. Those soft, blinking lashes. That faint glow in his gaze. The concern furrowed across his brow.

“…Bob,” You whispered again, like saying his name might hold your world together

“Y-yes, yes…” He gave a tiny, sheepish smile. “It’s Bob.” His voice carried that gentle stutter, the same one that made your heart ache even harder when it came wrapped in kindness. “Y-you really are drunk, huh? I-I thought you said you were only going to h-have one drink tonight…” He leaned in slightly, breathing in slowly, his nose crinkling at the smell. “Your b-breath smells like you downed a whole bottle of…Tequila? V-vodka?” You tilted your head back in slow motion, neck jelly-soft, eyes glassy as you stared at the ceiling like it might stop the room from spinning.

“I had…A little more than that…” You slurred, the words tumbling out through a hazy grin as you leaned your cheek lazily against his chest. The warmth of him beneath your skin felt grounding–dangerously so. Bob let out a breath, quiet but pointed, and looked at you with the kind of expression that made your heart twist: equal parts amusement and gentle worry.

“Y-yeah, I think a little would be an u-understatement,” He said, voice soft as his fingers shifted carefully at your waist, steadying you again, before picking up his glass of water and offering it to you.

”H-Here…You need this more than I d-do.” You stared at the glass of water in his hand but didn’t take it. Just leaned forward a little, lips parting to put the rim of the glass between them. Your eyes didn’t leave his–not even for a second.

Bob went stiff as a board.

“…O-Okay,” he breathed, blinking rapidly as he adjusted his grip. “I-I guess we’re doing this then…”

He tilted the glass gently, his other arm still holding you steady at the waist, and you drank–loudly. The slurp echoed in the quiet room like a firecracker in a chapel. Your eyes remained fixed on his while you did it.

Bob made a soft, choked noise in the back of his throat.

Then he laughed. Nervously. Tight.

“Y/N,” He mumbled, trying to keep his voice light, but it cracked a little, “S-stop l-looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” You asked, lips still against the rim, your voice playful and fuzzy with alcohol.

He shook his head slightly, exhaling through his nose with that familiar pinched look he got when he was trying not to say something he shouldn’t.

“L-like you’re gonna jump me or something…”

Your giggle came instantly–high and breathless. “W-why? Is it making you blush?”

“I-it’s not–” His voice pitched up, caught between flustered and mortified. “N-no! I just–It just looks…” He didn’t finish the sentence. Because you were still staring at him.

At his mouth. His eyes. The soft dip of his collarbone beneath the worn shirt fabric. The gentle flex in his arm where he held the glass. The way he steadied you with one broad palm against your lower back like it was second nature. Like holding you up was something he’d always be willing to do, whether you noticed it or not.

And that was the problem.

Because your brain was no longer operating with logic. The part of you that normally weighed consequences and considered timing had packed up and left sometime between shot two and shot four. All that was left behind was this awful, soft, unfiltered version of you–the one that looked at Bob like he was a deity.

“…Can I tell you a secret?” You asked, tipping your chin so your face was close–close enough that you could see the way his breath caught in his throat. Bob blinked at you. His mouth opened, hesitated.

Then: “I-I’m gonna assume you’ll tell me e-even if I say no, so…Go ahead.”

You reached up, slow and heavy with exhaustion and feeling, and placed your hand flat against his chest, right over his heart.

It was warm beneath your palm, beating away with a hard and steady rhythm.

You looked up at him, eyes glassy, lip trembling with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes, and said:

“I’m so…So in love with you.”

The words hung there between you.

Soft. Heavy. Unstoppable.

Bob froze.

His lips parted. His brows lifted. His eyes went wide, and for a moment, the whole room felt like it had been dipped in stillness.

“And you have no idea…” You added with a soft, broken giggle, blinking hard as your vision began to shimmer. “None. Like…Zero. Zip.”

His throat bobbed in a swallow. His hand didn’t move. He just stood there, staring at you, as if any sudden shift might cause you to shatter right in front of him.

“Y-You’re s-super drunk,” He said gently, like he was trying to give you an out, an excuse, “Y-you don’t even know what you’re saying right now…”

But you did. You knew exactly what you were saying. You just didn’t have the filter left to keep it in. You shook your head, slow and heavy, your hand still pressed to his chest.

“I know you don’t love me back,” You murmured, voice cracking on the words, “But I just don’t understand why you don’t…” Your eyes welled. You blinked, but the tears didn’t care. They spilled anyway, hot and unwelcome, trembling down your cheeks with no grace at all.

Bob’s face twisted–not in discomfort, but something closer to heartbreak. He set the glass of water down with a soft clink and a sigh.

“L-Let’s get you to bed,” He said, almost too softly. “Y-you have to sleep this off before you say anything else…”

“I’m fine…” You mumbled, but your knees were already giving out again. Bob caught you–easily, without hesitation–his arms scooping under your legs and behind your back as he lifted you like you weighed nothing.

“C’mon,” He whispered, his voice close to your ear now. “I’ll bring you t-to your room…”

You said something incoherent against his chest, your head lolling. The world tilted, then began to fade as the comfort of being in his arms won the battle against everything else.

You passed out somewhere between the hallway and your door.

———————

You woke to the soft hush of morning light slipping through sheer white curtains–just enough to tint the room in a pale, silvery glow. The air felt still, like it didn’t want to disturb you. And for a second, everything was quiet.

Then the pounding in your head started.

You groaned softly, burying your face into the nearest pillow–warm, faintly smelling like linen and something else. Clean soap. Sunlight. A hint of coffee and cedar and… Bob. You froze, nose still pressed to the pillowcase.

This…Wasn’t your room.

You cracked one eye open, letting your vision adjust slowly to the warm light bleeding into the space. The room wasn’t large, but it was lived-in in a way that felt rare in the Watchtower. Not sterile or pre-designed–personal. Lined neatly across the window sill were tiny cactuses in mismatched ceramic pots, each a different shape and size. One had a little pink flower blooming from the top. You blinked at them slowly, as if expecting them to vanish once the dream faded. But they didn’t. They stayed.

There was a navy throw blanket folded at the foot of the bed, textured and heavy-knit. The comforter tucked around you was cloud-soft, pulled neatly to your collarbone, and smelled faintly of detergent and something…Familiar. Like fabric that had been line-dried in sun and wind. You wriggled slightly, groggy, blinking the haze from your lashes–and that’s when you felt it.

Something pressed lightly against your back.

Not a person. No weight or breath or heat–just soft resistance. You shifted again and rolled your head to the side, squinting down to find a long, narrow body pillow pressed up against you. Positioned carefully. Like it had been put there with purpose. To keep you from rolling onto your back. You were slowly starting to piece together that something must’ve happened last night.

You pushed yourself upright slowly, fingers dragging across your cheek. The room spun a little, tilting like it was on a boat, and you winced at the sensation. Your mouth was dry. Your stomach ached with emptiness and leftover nausea. You swallowed hard, blinked a few more times–and then glanced down at yourself.

You weren’t in your dress anymore.

You were in a soft, oversized cotton tee–light gray, threadbare at the hem, with sleeves that hung down past your elbows. You pinched the fabric and brought it closer to your face. It smelled like him. Like sleep and clean skin and the warm edge of something you couldn’t name without your heart stuttering in your chest.

You looked to the bedside table and found a small glass of water waiting for you. The condensation fogged gently on the inside of the glass. Next to it, a bright blue electrolyte packet lay unopened beside a sleeve of dry crackers–still in the plastic. And beneath them…

A sticky note.

“For when you wake up.”

His handwriting was unmistakable–neat, soft-cornered, careful. Your throat tightened as you stared at the little smiley face he’d drawn after the message. It felt like something private. Like a gift left at the edge of a dream you barely remembered having.

You reached for the glass with trembling fingers, lifting it slowly to your mouth to take a long drawn out sip, grateful for the cool taste against your dry tongue.

The door creaked softly on its hinges.

You turned your head, still groggy, expecting maybe a knock–some warning–but instead, Bob slipped quietly into the room with a laundry basket tucked against his hip. His hair was tied up in a small, slightly messy knot to keep it out of his face, a few strands still falling across his brow. He’d changed since last night. Now he wore a deep forest green sweater that was just a little too big on him, sleeves pushed up to the elbows, and a pair of soft gray sweatpants that pooled slightly at the ankles.

His socks didn’t match.

You stared at him for a second too long–there was something about the way the soft light caught on his face, the curve of his jaw, the loose comfort of his frame that made your stomach twist.

Then his eyes landed on yours.

He froze for just a second before his expression melted into something warm and careful.

“O-oh,” He said, voice low and a little shy. “You’re up.” His smile, small and genuine, tugged faintly at the corner of his mouth. He set the basket gently on the floor by the dresser, fingers brushing his knee as he straightened again. You rubbed at one of your eyes with the back of your hand, the oversized sleeve slipping down your arm.

Your voice came out rough with sleep.

“…What happened last night?” Bob let out a quiet sigh, raking a hand through the wisps of hair that had fallen loose. He didn’t look annoyed. He didn’t even look all that flustered. Just…Tired. Gentle.

“W-well…” He started carefully, shifting his weight a little. “I’m assuming you d-don’t remember much, ‘cause I brought you to your room and… As I was putting you o-on your bed you threw up all over your duvet…”

You groaned instantly, a soft and mortified sound, setting the glass back down on the nightstand so you could bury your face into your hands.

“Oh my God.”

Bob’s voice was soothing, almost amused. “A-and so I had to change you b-because it got on your dress, and I, um…Put you in my bed.”

He motioned toward the room with a tilt of his head, voice still soft.

“I s-slept on the couch.”

You peeked through your fingers, eyes wide and already heating with embarrassment.

“I–you–oh God, Bob.”

“I washed your sheets and stuff,” He added quickly, pointing down to the laundry basket near his feet. “T-they’re clean. I-I used the good detergent, the one that has the stain remover in it…T-They’re good as new.” Your hands slid down your face, palms dragging slowly as you stared at him in horror, remembering that you were wearing his shirt.

”And you changed me?” You questioned, your brows pulling together.

”Y-Yeah? I mean…You had vomit on your dress, and I-I wasn’t going to leave you on the floor of your bedroom…B-But I also didn’t want to get vomit on m-my sheets so…” You dropped your head back against the pillow, groaning louder this time as you brought your arm across your eyes. “I-If it makes you feel any better I-I didn’t see much, I had the lights off and my eyes closed p-pretty much.” You couldn’t help it–you let out a small, pained laugh behind your forearm.

“God, that makes it so much better,” You muttered sarcastically, your voice reverberating through your arm. You heard a quiet shuffle–soft socks brushing across the floor, fabric shifting–and then the distinct dip of the mattress beside you.

It was subtle, the weight of him settling, careful not to shift you too much.

“S-So I’m assuming you don’t w-want to hear what you said to me l-last night either then?” Bob’s voice was quiet–gentle, almost like he was giving you a way out if you wanted it. But it trembled at the edges. You froze in your spot, as your arm dropped from your eyes.

He was sitting beside you with his legs crossed at the ankles, sweater bunched a little around his hip, hair still loosely tied but not it was truly falling out of the knot completely. His brows were pulled together in that way they always were when he was bracing himself for something.

“…What did I say?” You asked, barely above a whisper.

Your voice cracked halfway through, stretched thin with dread. You already knew. Somewhere in the back of your brain–behind the fog of tequila and the undeniable ache–you knew exactly what you’d done.

Bob didn’t answer right away.

He let out a breath through his nose and reached up, fingers tugging the hair tie loose. His hair spilled out with a slow tumble, strands falling across his face before he swept them back with one hand and began fidgeting with the elastic between his fingers.

“Y-You told me you’re in love with me,” He said finally, voice low and uncertain–softer than you expected. He gave a faint, shaky little laugh at the end, like he was still trying to convince himself it had really happened, “Said i-it was a secret, actually…” Your blood ran hot in your veins. Not from the warmth of the blanket, not from the sunlight–but from the kind of shame that makes your throat tighten like it’s trying to hold in everything that’s already spilled.

Bob kept fiddling with the tie, eyes fixed on his hands.

”A-And then…You told me that you know I d-don’t love you back, and you…Y-You said you didn’t understand why.” The silence that followed was devastating, as you let the moment–that sentence in itself–stretch and breathe. You could hear him picking at the fabric that surrounded the hair tie, not wanting to make eye contact with you, knowing that you would probably recoil into yourself if he did.

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The words were there–lodged just behind your teeth, crowding your throat–but they all fought for space at once. A breath left your lips instead. Just a small one. Shaky. Barely a sound.

Bob kept his eyes on the elastic band in his fingers, stretching it between his knuckles. Pulling. Twisting. Letting it snap softly back into place like it helped him stay focused.

Then, he said it–quietly, gently, and without accusation, “Y-You don’t have to explain yourself…I know you were d-drunk, and…It doesn’t have to mean anything…I-I just–“ He hesitated, his voice cracking faintly around the edges, “I thought you should know that you told m-me. I didn’t want to pretend like you didn’t s-say it.” His profile was soft in the morning light, jaw faintly stubbled, hair falling messily around his temple. But it was the expression on his face that held you in place–something pulled tight beneath the surface, something raw. Not pity. Not awkwardness. No, it looked almost like…

Disappointment.

A quiet kind, the kind he wasn’t even aware he was showing.

Your pulse quickened.

Your fingers curled in the fabric of the blanket as you slowly sat up, the shift of weight creaking faintly beneath you. You swallowed hard, tasting the nerves on your tongue like they might choke you.

“…It did mean something,” You whispered, almost like you were afraid saying it out loud would break the spell–or him.

Bob’s fingers froze around the hair tie.

His eyes flicked to you instantly. Wide. Searching. He didn’t speak at first, just watched you, his chest rising slowly with each breath like he was trying not to exhale too hard and blow everything away.

“W-Why do you think I don’t love you back?” He asked. Your heart stopped and stuttered in your chest.

You looked down, unable to hold that gaze for long. Your voice came out uneven, quiet.

“…Because you’ve never…”

You hesitated. Licked your lips and tried again.

“Because you’ve never said anything to me about it. Ever. And everything you do for me–”

You swallowed.

“It’s what you do for everyone else. You remember things for them. You cook for them. You leave notes for them. You watch their training too, don’t you?” Your voice got smaller, softer. “There are no concrete signs, Bob. Not ones I can trust. And I didn’t want to impose…I didn’t want to make something out of things that weren’t meant for me.”

Silence.

A beat passed.

Then two.

And when you finally glanced up through your lashes to meet his gaze again, you found him looking at you like you’d just said something he didn’t know how to answer. Not because he didn’t want to–but because something in your words had hurt him, more than you expected.

His voice was quieter than ever when he spoke again, “And what if it was meant for you?” You blinked slowly, taken aback by his hidden admission. Your lips parted to say something but nothing came.

Bob’s fingers loosened around the hair tie, and he dropped it on the bed beside him without a sound. His hands now sat quietly in his lap, thumb brushing the inside of his palm before he began picking at the dry skin there.

”What if…I did all those things b-because I felt different when I was doing them for y-you?” Bob turned toward you slowly–deliberately–until his whole body faced yours, knees brushing against the edge of the blanket you still had tucked around you.

His hands remained in his lap, fingers twitching as if resisting the urge to fidget again. But his eyes… his eyes didn’t move from yours. They held steady. Gentle. Glowing faintly with something fragile and unspoken, like a lantern shielding its flame against the wind.

“I d-do those things for everyone, y-you’re right,” he said, voice soft and trembling–but certain, too, like each word had been sitting on his tongue for months. “I-I take care of people. It’s how I… show I care. Because I’m not always good at s-saying the things I want to.”

You didn’t speak. You didn’t dare. You were too afraid that the moment might fracture if you breathed wrong.

Bob swallowed, his eyes never leaving yours. “But when I do those things for you…” His voice dipped lower. “It is different.”

You blinked slowly, breath caught in your throat.

“I watch y-you train because I want to see you be strong,” He continued, his voice gaining weight, trembling with emotion even as he tried to keep it steady. “Because it’s the only time I-I get to admire you without getting caught. And sometimes I want to feel like I’m supporting you, even if it’s just…Just b-being there.”

Your stomach twisted, curling tighter and tighter with each quiet admission.

“I get up early to make breakfast for everyone, s-sure,” He said, his mouth curling faintly at the corners like he was almost shy about it. “But when I’m m-making yours? I’m not thinking about calories or b-balance or what’s healthy. I’m thinking about you.” His hand lifted, hovering in the space between you like it might touch you–but didn’t. Not yet. “I’m thinking about whether your eyes will go wide when you s-see what I made. Or if you’ll laugh and roll your eyes b-because I cut the banana slices too thin. I think about what you’ll say. I think about if maybe…Y-You’ll know that I made it with all the care in the world…”

Your breath hitched in your chest.

“I leave notes for the others because I-I want them to feel looked after,” He said softly. “But yours? I write them slowly. I-I sit there with the pen in my hand and w-wonder if I should sign my name with a smiley face or not. I wonder if it’ll m-make you smile if I write something dumb or sweet, and I-I wonder if you’ll read it twice.” You stared at him, stunned, lips parted. The weight of his words pressed into your ribcage like a tidal swell, heavy and full of warmth, of longing, of something you hadn’t dared to name before now.

“B-but if you’ve been waiting for a concrete s-sign…”

He trailed off softly, like the rest of the sentence was afraid to come out. And then he moved–slowly, gently, like he was approaching something sacred. His hand lifted from his lap with an almost reverent caution, like he didn’t want to startle you, like you might vanish if he rushed this moment.

You felt it before it landed.

The warmth of his palm hovered for a heartbeat near your cheek–close enough that your skin prickled with anticipation, with want, with fear–and then he touched you. His fingers trembled ever so slightly, calloused but tender as they curled to cradle the side of your face, thumb brushing delicately across the high point of your cheekbone.

Your breath hitched–caught and held like a secret between you.

His gaze was steady now. Deep. Quietly ablaze.

“I-It’s this,” He whispered, before leaning in, without hesitation. Just quiet, deliberate affection–like this was something he had pictured in a hundred different dreams but never dared to reach for while awake because he thought he couldn’t execute it as well. He moved close enough that his forehead nearly brushed yours, his breath warm and sweet between you, tinged faintly with mint and something soft like cinnamon–probably from his morning tea. His fingers shifted slightly at your jaw, tilting you just enough, guiding without pressure, coaxing without assumption.

Then he kissed you.

Just the faintest pressure of his lips brushing yours, the kind of kiss that barely registered as physical. It felt like something else entirely–like a promise passed from his mouth to yours. His other hand came up slowly to frame your face, fingertips pressing slightly into your hairline, as he deepened the kiss with such mindfulness it made your whole body shiver.

He kissed you like he was learning you, like he’d waited long enough that now every second had to be savored. And when he pulled back for just a breath–just to look at you, his eyes wide and dark and brimming with emotion–you were already chasing the kiss back.

And this time, when his mouth returned to yours, he took your bottom lip between his.

It was deliberate, careful, and full of devotion.

His lips were plush and warm, and then gently–so gently–he sucked on it, slow and sweet, like he was trying to taste all the years he’d spent not saying what he felt. A quiet sound left your throat, something between a gasp and a sigh, your fingers clutching the edge of the blanket like it might anchor you to the moment.

His thumb was still brushing your cheek in soothing arcs, even as his mouth lingered, coaxing yours open with nothing but affection. Not hunger. Not need.

Just love.

There was no question in the way he kissed you.

No doubt.

He kissed you like this was the answer to every secret you’d both ever buried. Like it had always been building toward this.

When he finally–reluctantly–pulled back, his forehead came to rest against yours, his breath mingling with yours in soft, trembling puffs. His hands stayed cupped to your face, thumbs still caressing your skin like he couldn’t stop touching you now that he’d started.

You barely opened your eyes, afraid to break the spell, but when you did… There he was. Glowing faintly in the morning light, cheeks flushed, lashes low over sea-blue eyes that brimmed with something so open it made your chest ache.

“I love you too.” He said.

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steddiealltheway · 7 months ago

Text

Steve's not really sure when it became a thing.

Maybe it was while Eddie was in the hospital recovering from his injuries, and the kids had forced Steve onto the visiting schedule. Maybe it was after Eddie got out of the hospital, and the kids insisted they continue to honor the schedule. Maybe it had nothing to do with the schedule and everything to do with the fact that Steve and Eddie had become... friends.

This is also a big maybe in Steve's head because he's pretty sure Eddie just hangs out with him from time to time because he's allowed to drink and smoke around or with him - and he's found that Eddie doesn't like to be alone for extended periods of time.

Steve can't blame him. But with his parents' seemingly permanent absence, he's kind of grown used to it whenever the kids and Robin are forced to go back to school.

But right now, Steve is grateful that Eddie has continued their "thing" in which he shows up at Steve's house at 9pm every Thursday - the same time as one of Steve's assigned "Eddie shifts" - with a six-pack in hand.

Only, this week, Eddie shows up with two bottles of wine.

Steve raises his eyebrows at him as he lets him into the house, shutting the door quickly to keep the cold air out.

"I just thought you'd like to change it up today," Eddie comments nonchalantly as he heads to the living room. Steve wonders for a moment if he knows the secret he's been keeping from everyone, but he figures he doesn't especially when he blabs on, "So, what movie are you blessing me with this week?"

Steve rolls his eyes as he goes to grab the tape and put it in the VCR, but he hesitates for a moment, straightening up to point at Eddie. "You will absolutely tell no one about this, got it? Also, I'm expecting a phone call, but you're not allowed to listen in on it."

"Got it. Scout's honor," Eddie replies with a wink and a salute.

"You were not a boy scout," Steve huffs as he decides to bite the bullet and put the tape in.

Eddie frowns and puts a hand over his heart. "You wound me, Steve. How could you say that?"

"Because I was a boy scout, and we would've been in the same troop."

Once Steve sits on the couch, Eddie leans in and nudges his shoulder. "What I wouldn't give to go back in time and meet a young Steve Harrington. I could've corrupted you sooner."

"I'm afraid Dustin beat you to the corrupting. He's the one who made me watch Star Wars."

"I can always corrupt you in other ways, Steve," Eddie comments, obnoxiously batting his eyelashes.

Steve laughs, used to the blatant flirting during the trailers at this point. "Is that why you brought the wine? To set the mood?"

"Something like that," Eddie says with a soft smile before switching back to his dramatics. "But I'll have you know, I'm a gentleman. Plus, I would like you to remember the first time I blow your mind."

"Blow my mind?" Steve asks, reaching over to grab the bottles. "How would you do that?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Eddie says with a wink before uncapping his wine.

Steve glances at his own bottle for a moment, distracted. "It's a screw top."

"It's cheap," Eddie explains. He raises his bottle and tilts it Steve's way. "Cheers."

"Cheers," Steve answers, screwing off the top and taking a swig. Tastes like wine. And it also tastes like... a bad idea.

"So, what movie are we watching that has you so defensive?" Eddie asks, throwing his arm along the back of the couch.

To that, Steve takes a longer drink. "One of my mom's favorite movies. We used to watch it together whenever my dad went out of town for his business trips. But then my mom started getting more suspicious of him staying at the office late, and then she started to go on those business trips with him. Which now seem to... never end." Steve sighs and settles back onto the couch a bit more, head resting right on Eddie's hand. He quickly gets the hint and starts gently playing with his hair.

Steve's not sure when that became a thing either.

After another sip of wine, Steve finally confesses, "It's The Sound of Music."

A few expressions pass over Eddie's face before he quietly says, "That was one of my mom's favorites, too."

The two of them share a similar look of understanding and painful longing for a time they'll neither get back. They both drink at the same time as the opening notes of "The Sound of Music" ring out.

As the movie plays, the two of them drift closer - as they always do - and Steve notices that he's slowly but surely getting a bit wine-drunk. Which is what Robin calls the "worst type of drunk Steve." Maybe he should've taken her up on her offer to stay the full day.

As the last scene plays, Steve finds himself glancing toward the phone more than the screen.

"You okay?" Eddie asks gently, the hand in his hair moving to cup his face.

Steve can feel the way the wine flushes his cheeks and sits heavy on his stomach when he asks, "When do you realize your parents have given up on you?"

Eddie swallows heavily before grabbing Steve's nearly empty bottle and putting it on the coffee table. He sits back and fully turns to him. "For me, I fully realized a month after I stayed with Wayne. I still hadn't unpacked the cardboard box my things were in, hoping that maybe since my dad had dropped me off my mom would pick me up. But I hadn't seen her in years." He looks back at the TV where the end credits are rolling. "She left promising me she would come back and make a better life for the two of us eventually. I thought with my dad out of the picture, she'd be back. But as soon as I unpacked that box, I gave up on the idea."

Steve shifts closer and grabs Eddie's hand. "I'm sorry."

Eddie looks at him and tilts his head down so he's looking him right in the eye. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry, too. And..." he hesitates for a moment before resting his forehead against Steve's and whispering, "Happy birthday."

Steve's eyes close tightly. It's the words he had been waiting for all day but in hopes that they'd be coming out the mouths of at least one of his parents. Preferably his mom.

There's pressure behind his eyes, and Steve reaches out to squeeze Eddie's hand gently, warning him in his own way that he might fall apart. But Eddie stays where he is.

"This is the first year they haven't called," Steve whispers, feeling one tear fall down his face. "I know they're assholes but... I didn't think they'd be this much of an asshole. God," he breathes out, breaking away from Eddie to lean back against the couch, hands covering his face as more tears fall.

A familiar arm drapes itself around Steve's shoulders tugging gently until he winds up with his head buried in Eddie's neck.

They sit there for a while, Eddie holding him and running a soothing hand through his hair that reminds Steve of the first time Eddie had opened up to him about the nightmares that never went away, and they had ended up in a similar but swapped position.

Maybe that's when this became a thing.

It's a while before Steve speaks up to ask, "Hey, how do you even know when my birthday is? The last person I told was probably Tommy Hagan in the eighth grade. And Robin, of course, but I swore her to secrecy."

"Oh god," Eddie says in a way that makes Steve pull back to look at him fully. Eddie's head lulls to the side as he looks at him with an adorably embarrassed and caught expression. "So... don't hate me for this, but this happened a few years ago. And... do I really have to tell you?"

"It's my birthday, you have to tell me," Steve replies.

Eddie huffs, ever so dramatically, and grabs Steve's hands before confessing, "So, I stole your wallet a few times."

Steve can't help but laugh at the absurd confession. "When?"

"It was back in your sophomore year probably. We had some horrible science class together, and you sat right in front of me, and well... My friends and I made this hypothesis, very scientific, that some rich kids, including you, wouldn't notice if a dollar or two went missing from their wallets." Steve snorts, and Eddie smiles. "And you had this horrible habit of leaving the front pocket of your backpack open so..."

"Occasionally you would steal anywhere from one to five dollars from my wallet? And one time you managed to swipe ten," Steve fills in for him, vividly remembering something he hadn't thought about in years.

Eddie's eyes widen. "So, my hypothesis was wrong."

"No, you're just less subtle than you think you are."

There's a moment where Eddie just stares at him incredulously. "You're telling me, you let me steal from you? And you didn't beat me up for it?"

Steve shrugs, thinking about the first time it had happened, and he had truly considered it, but he realized. "I knew you needed it more than I did. But that's not what we're talking about. How did this lead you to finding out about my birthday?"

"It was on your driver's license, and I ended up memorizing it in case you had a big party that I could sell at. But then it just... stuck." Eddie looks down at their hands for a moment before he looks up and states, "And we're not about to breeze past this. I must've stolen at least thirty dollars from you!" He lets go of one of Steve's hands to grab his wallet off the coffee table. "For your birthday, let me pay you back."

Steve laughs and shakes his head. "You are not giving me thirty dollars for my birthday. And don't fight me on this, or I'll end up telling Dustin you gave me money without hesitation."

Eddie frowns at him and reluctantly puts his wallet back down. He leans over to Steve and cups his face as he plants a kiss onto his forehead. "You're never who I think you are, Steve Harrington."

"Is that a good thing?" Steve asks as his eyes glance down at his lips.

"A very good thing. It means I'll never give up on you," Eddie says with a teasing lilt but Steve knows that he means it.

"Same to you."

Eddie's teasing smile falters as he looks at Steve. One of his thumbs swipes at a remaining tear trail.

Steve's heart beats a little harder and he can't stop staring at Eddie's lips. He wonders when that became a thing.

"There's one thing you could do for me for my birthday," Steve breaths out.

"And what's that?" Eddie asks quietly.

Steve doesn't answer him, he just leans in slowly, closing his eyes when his nose brushes against Eddie's. But then he feels Eddie gently pull away.

"Earlier, I said I wanted you to remember when I blow your mind, Steve."

Steve's eyes flutter open. "I'm not that far gone."

Eddie sighs and mumbles, "I can't believe I'm doing this," and raises his voice to say, "I'll kiss you when I can't smell wine on your breath, deal?"

"Deal," Steve says, holding out his hand.

Eddie laughs as he shakes it, then grabs it to pull them both up.

"Bedtime?" Steve asks. Eddie nods, turning off the TV before leading the way to the kitchen to get two glasses of water before heading to Steve's room.

Steve knows exactly when that became a thing - the second time Eddie was over at his house, and he had a nightmare in the guest room. Steve now insists that he sleeps with him anytime he's over.

When they get into bed on their by-now-established sides, Steve can't help but say, "I think this is the best birthday I've had in a long time." He sighs and reaches out to grab Eddie's hand laying between them. "Maybe next year I'll tell everyone."

"Or we can make up a fake birthday for you that happens to fall sometime next week, and next year we'll pretend that everyone remembered the wrong date."

Steve laughs and squeezes Eddie's hand. "Or next week, I can take you on a date."

"Shh," Eddie quickly shushes him, "This definitely means it's time for you to go to bed."

"I can't wait for you to blow my mind in the morning," Steve says instead of trying and failing to fight Eddie on the fact that he's more coherent than he thinks he is. Besides, the faster he falls asleep, the sooner tomorrow will come.

"Goodnight, Steve," Eddie says, slightly amused.

"Goodnight, Eds."

Much to Eddie's surprise, he wakes up to Steve asking for a kiss. And he very much blows his mind.

#the steddie bug is back and it bit me hard #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #steddie ficlet

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