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delicrieux · 4 years ago

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—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”.

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing. word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie: y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!”

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

queen rly went from 🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing.

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.”

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall.

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets.

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout.

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #myso #make you say oh #imagine #imagines

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raphaellalacognizi · 2 years ago

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Erica!! How was the concert? (If you feel like talking about it, of course)

literally i will be talking about it (the best night ever) for the rest of my life

even just walking in was amazing- there were so many people who were also dressed up, so many people who also looked so happy to be there, so many people who i saw myself in- i knew it was going to be a great night

(side note: i am so much poorer now because i spent my entire paycheck on merch, but i got my boy zone shirt, 3/4 of the mystery shirts (and one ray dupe), and the sparkly silver mikey fuckin way shirt)

but devil master was great! (i couldn’t understand a word, but their sound and their aesthetics were fuckin a)

and midtown!! holy shit midtown!!! they were absolutely fantastic! they just kept thanking us and reminding us they were from nj and thanking mikey and thanking us again, and you could really feel how excited they were to be playing (i’m honestly a little sorry i didn’t get more video of them, but my phone battery was running low as it was, and i had to conserve its life for my chem) (also, i found myself incredibly attracted to gabe saporta almost as soon as he walked out on stage because wow. wow.)

and then MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE! literally the moment the (forever-long) foundations intro started we were standing. i was lucky enough to have gotten middle floor seats (so a bit behind the pit) so i could SEE them!! i could see their faces!! and i swear i felt like i was losing my mind when i saw gerard’s outfit (it looked so nice! the cardigan, the pockets on the dress- literally i want that outfit so bad). every song was a banger, even if i am a little disappointed i didn’t get to hear vampire money live, but CHA GIRL GOT PLANETARY!! (actually, in the video i took, you can literally hear me begging “please, god, PLEASE” after gerard starts the introduction and mentions dancing, because that’s the kind of person i am.) local danger days stan stays winning. then add Boy Division and Mama and Scarecrow and Famous Last Words and literally every other song they played. GOD. god.

i took small videos of most of the songs they performed, but i was mostly trying to live in the moment, so any of the videos i took were grainy and far away, but audio-wise not half bad. i’ve spent like an hour today rewatching them and marveling at the fact that like. i was there. i saw that. i heard them! i got to experience the specialest band in the world right there, playing for me and all of my new best friends (like Daniel and Toni, who had the seats on either side of me and were so fucking friendly, and that girl who reassured me i wasn’t flashing the entire stadium when i was walking up the stairs out of the arena).

it’s literally incomparable to anything i’ve ever done before, and probably anything i’ll ever do again. it was literally the best night of my life.

#i’m tearing up a little just thinking about it again #asked and answered #armillaryspheres #mcr #mcr houston #my show

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myclownjunction · 3 years ago

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A loyal guard dog! Karl Heisenberg x Reader Part 1

It’s a Reader x Karl Heisenberg fanfic will be long, the reader can turn unto weredog (half-werewolf half-dog, also possesses healing abilities) Reader was a dog-like trained human since her childhood she was kidnapped and forced into death-fights with other scum. As the story goes her ex-boss was killed by Heisenberg and she automatically took his side and became his right-hand in the factory. (Inspired by the movie Unleashed aka Danny the dog)

WARNING!! GRAPHIC, SCENES, GORE, BLOOD...YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

'These kids were getting on my nerves' y/n sighed as she took turns and twists fast knowing just like her owner the factory-like her five fingers on her arm, as there were trespassers her job was like any guard dog's job, catch, bite, fight and kill protecting the factory when your master was not around, the collar on your neck, (insert favorite color) was wrapped around your neck together with a dog tag that said whom you belonged to. The reason for the chase was few teens that decided to be brave to take something from the factory to show off in front of their friends had no idea that you were the guard dog of this place as they mocked you for being a girl you called for the Soldats to join you then they started to run and hide. But as always in any good horror movies, each of them was dumber than the other, 'What fear makes with people, right?' you thought, outrunning some Soldats to help them get them dead, you were in the 'Scavenger room' that's how you called it, it was littered with any metal junk you could think of I've been trained by my ex-master that got killed by Karl Heisenberg and he got excited to have someone as obedient as me and I was happy to change the shitbag of the owner I had! Walking as quiet as possible not to startle my prey I walked around a few steps and stopped sniffing the air I felt the sickening strong smell of a female perfume-making me smile as I started talking just like my owner taught me, "You know I fully understand you kid, you wanted to hype on being in constant danger, take a trophy and show off in front of your friends". I smiled and then dropped my smile continuing "You see your friends don't care to come and see you, to save you, they all left!" as I finished my sentence I heard the shuffling looking straight where the noise originated "It's not true, it's just ...t-they would leave me!" I chuckled at her stuttering she was terrified, "Come on kid, you know that it's true...I mean everyone gains some and loses some, let me get this deal for you! You come out and we talk normally and then my master shall decide your faith! It's fairer than to hurt yourself..." I paused licking my sharp fangs and smiled tasting my victory "...you wouldn't want it, right? You seem like a nice kid so how about you come out and we talk!?" I heard silence for few moments then a rather cute girl came out as I smiled and showed her to come closer walking behind her I took the metal chair that was sitting nearby and guided towards her telling her "Come on now take a seat, it's going to be a long talk!" and turned a bit around as she stood there with her nose higher than Lady Dimitrescu's size 'Ohh so we're going to be bitchy, I know perfectly how to be one too!' I said to myself as I turned around my eyes glowing yellow "I said SIT!" pushing her to the chair as she fell onto it holding for her dear life as I proceeded to smile as soft as possible not scaring her with my fangs. "You see kiddo, there are different types of dogs, right?" I looked at her and she nodded for me to continue as she almost becomes one with the poor stool

"So as a guard dog, my responsibilities go from protecting my owner to protect his property, right?... Right! A good dog is a dog that follows its master's rules and then you drop in like a shittone of scarp on my head, causing havoc in the factory that I...PROTECT!" she gulped audibly and then fired up a question that I knew will drop from her mouth. "You don't look like a dog to me and these things what are they?" she practically screeched making me flinch and let out a growl as she was scared and it made me madder, I jumped and snarled in front of her face showing my fangs to her making her flinch and start crying as I continued "I.AM.A.DOG!!" breathing heavily I was just like Heisenberg, blowing the fuse for the least stupid thing or worse stupid person "I am modified to be a dog I was taken away as a kid and I am LOYAL to my master!" she whined and looked away from my face, continuing I said "I didn't ask for this but here we are! You dropping on my head the soldats running around like moronic idiots and your friends...And I badly want to end you up but I cannot without my master's permission." She was trembling as I felt a shift in the air Heisenberg was home I was absolutely happy and delighted that he's finally back "What the actual hell did happen here Y/N? It looks like a frikin hurricane went through here and...?" he walked closer and seeing me as I bowed my head as a sign of respect and he turned the nod his smile growing up even more as he removed his hammer and slammed it into the closest wall "Well, well, well what do we have here, my loyal dog has caught a trespassing rascal!" he smiled his charming smile looking at the girl up and down, he tilted his head "Was she the only one that caused the havoc in my factory?!" I nodded my head and said, "They were greeted warmly Sir, and also taken care of!" I heard him chuckle "So doll I'm gonna let you go and of course there's one but in this! So you like games...I presume, yes!" he looked at me and winked I knew what he had in his mind a chase that never ended well for the pray I smiled and nodded "It's a simple game you'll try to find the exit as I count from 10 and if you outrun my Good girl, you'll be free and run away far away, far away!" as he walked towards the girl that had the face that you need to see, it was disgust, revoltingly consumed by fear. I stood on end tasting the chase I could transform thankfully to Karl, he helped me with the modification making me even more agile, faster and all the senses sharpened by 10, maybe even I was more weredog, but it didn't matter I was waiting for the command! Then I heard her standing "You're crazy, both of you!! You are two twisted creatures that don't have a heart...you want to kill me...maybe I look dumb but I'm not I know you killed my friends! You're disgusting...BOTH of you!!!" she screeched making Heisenberg not happy at all the silence was so thick you could slice it with a knife, she stood terrified and she understood her gravely mistake as Heisenberg summoned his hammer and his smile dropped "Let's see what are you made of doll!" he raised his hammer and slammed right in front her feet making her scream and run away "10,9.." I started shifting turning and ready to run after her, baring my teeth I waited for his sign, "8,7 you better run faster doll my sweet y/n is fast enough to get cha!" as we heard her heading to the lowest levels 'What a stupid idiotic, person' I thought as Heisenberg continued "6,5,4...3" I was ready to spring forward as he smiled victoriously "2 I'm sorry kiddo but 1, it's SHOW TIME! Now let me get this straight girlie, we're not the only residents in this factory so if you see someone or rather somethig...You better run!" he laughed I knew that he was talking to her though the com of the radio. He turned to me holding my muzzle and smiled "Let's do it kid I want you to give her a good chase just like with the others and let her regret bringing her excuse of an ass in here, make me a proud puppy and you'll get big reward today" he winked as he scratched my ears "FETCH!". I bolted from my place picking up the smell immediately as I raced through the factory I picked up the smell and started removing pieces from the metal furniture that was in my way I felt it then...it was a trap! The heavy metal of the crane fell on top of me earning a yelp and whine as it trapped me under its weight I heard a maniacal laugh "You're but an excuse of a dog, your master shall die and pay for everything as for how am I going to do this it doesn't matter I hope you die stupid disgusting mutt!" she walked away as I tried to crawl from underneath the metal part I felt it lift and give me way out as I crawled I felt my bones and joints snapping back in place I was healing that was one of my many bonuses. I leat out the most terrific roar shaking the factory the come came to live "Come on sugar, daddy believes in you tear that bitch apart!" I howled and raced through the fabric searching for her and I saw her almost getting out of the building I made a shortcut and jumped in front of her snarling and baring my teeth as a warning sign but she screeched "You damned mutt, how did you survive the trap, nothing this will end you!" she took out a gun making me even madder and aimed it at me "Die you disgusting creature!" there was a whine and a roar I snapped my jaws around her neck tearing it to sherds,splattering blood everwhere, the last thing I remebered the gurling sounds and thum and them Heisenbergs' screaming my name as the adrenaline pumped through me I didn't felt how many bullets I got from this cunt but everything I remember is thudding of my heart, Heisenbergs’ pleads and curses to stay alive and then I was wrapped into darkness, feeling only how someone pickd me up and carriedn me somewhere... To Be continued...

#karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg x reader #karlheisenberg #karl heisenberg x you #karlheisenbergxreader #heisenberg x reader #re8 heisenberg #kalr heisenberg x you #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #karl heisenberg resident evil #resident evil fanfic #my fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #heisenberg imagine #A loyal guard dog fanfic #part 1

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spicymayo1983 · 3 years ago

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Hiya. More Poe Dameron smut and fluff for everyone to enjoy. You and Poe both live on the rebellion base on D'qar.

I've always imagined that Poe would be excited about becoming a father, regardless of the circumstances, and be a loving and supportive partner.

For some reason the idea of fertile Poe is sexy to me. Lol. Having a bunch of cute, curly haired space babies.

You are a member of the black squadron and a respected X wing pilot in your own right. You've made some stupid decisions in your lifetime but never any like this one.

After a few too many drinks you ended up enjoying a steamy, completely unprotected one night stand with Poe Dameron.

And now you're pregnant with his child. How will you cope raising a baby with a man you barely know?

Warnings, unprotected sex, some angst, breeding kink, not for anyone under 18.

You're not afraid to admit it. You are a different woman altogether when you've been drinking.

But even for you, the mess you're in is something even you couldn't have predicted.

Now all you have are memories, regret, and a positive pregnancy test. You stare at that little stick with the two lines on it and the memories flood back, you can't help but smile a little.

Six weeks earlier.....

It's your best friend Yasmela's birthday. You and the rest of the black squadron are celebrating with adult beverages abound in a cantina located on the rebellion base D'qar.

The leader of the black squadron, Poe Dameron, who's also a bit tipsy, has been eyeing you all night.

Okay, the two of you have been exchanging mutual flirty glances. You haven't been entirely innocent, it's hard to ignore anyone, but especially someone as gorgeous as him, when it's obvious that he's checking you out.

"Well do you like what you see?" Poe asks, laughing a little, attempting to break the ice.

"What would make you think that?" You reply, giggling a little.

Poe notices the flushing of your cheeks, brought on by a combination of drinking too much and the situation currently at hand.

"Ohhhhh I'm making you nervous". Poe continues, slurring his words a little. "You're normally such a quiet girl, y/n, I barely know you because you won't talk to hardly anyone".

"I'm a simple woman devoted to defeating the first order". You reply, smiling a little.

"So am I, but I believe in letting loose every once in awhile". Poe teases as he brushes back his dark, curly hair from his face.

"So you're also a simple woman?" You reply, bursting into laughter.

Soon both of you are laughing uncontrollably. So much so that you have tears in your eyes.

"No, I wasn't the last time I checked". Poe continued, his laughter calming a little. "What I meant was that I'm also devoted to bringing down the first order but I like to have fun from time to time".

"Come on, dance with me". Poe asks, a devilish smile appearing on his face. "Let's have some fun".

You soon find yourself stumbling along to a latin cha cha cha dance that he's way better at, even intoxicated, than you.

You fall down laughing at one point and he scoops you up immediately. Even when you are sober you have two left feet and your dance moves are less than elegant.

The room is spinning, you feel like you're going to puke, but you're having a blast with your handsome companion.

"I think I need to sit down". You tell him, struggling to stop yourself from throwing up.

Poe helps you get safely to a nearby chair and table, once you are seated he fetches you a glass of water.

"Thank you". You reply, smiling gratefully and slowly sipping the cool water. "I know it's still a little early but I think I need to get home and sleep this off".

"That's okay, but let me walk you home". Poe tells you, helping you stand up again.

On the way back to your quarters the two of you realize that he lives much closer so it would be in your best interest to crash on his couch for the night.

Once at his place Poe gets you another glass of water, you are sobering up and no longer feel sick.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" You ask, quickly downing the refreshing beverage.

"I might not know you that well, on a personal level".

He explains, removing his boots. "But you're a brave pilot, you were there when the starkiller was destroyed, I take care of people I respect".

His words of praise shock you a little. They mean so much, especially coming from someone like him. Your face immediately turns bright red, Poe leans over, kisses you on the lips and says,

"And one of the most beautiful women I've seen".

Without another word exchanged you continue kissing, you gaze into his beautiful dark eyes and silently beg him to continue, to go beyond those delicious kisses.

Poe picks up on your silent cues and hungrily unbuttons your shirt. He manages to quickly unsnap your bra, revealing your breasts and erect nipples.

You can see an impressive looking bulge forming in his pants as he buries his face between them, you sigh in delight as you lose yourself to pleasure and take in the scent of his soft, curly hair.

Your panties are practically drenched by the time Poe starts to tenderly kiss and nibble on your neck, his hands wander between your legs and you gasp in anticipation.

He unzips your pants and helps you out of them, you are indeed soaking wet, his hand slides between your legs again and teasingly strokes you over your underwear.

You haven't trimmed in quite awhile so you have a decent bush growing. He doesn't seem to mind, though, Poe actually seems to enjoy the look and feel of it.

"Take your clothes off now". You demand, laughing a little. "I feel weird being the only naked one".

Poe obliges and strips down for you. Revealing a tan, trim and athletic body. Strong without being over the top. He's hung, and thick, with a nice patch of dark hair.

The two of you decide to move things into the bedroom. He immediately spreads your legs wide and starts to massage your clit as he inserts two fingers inside of you.

As Poe keeps his fingers inside of you he begins to suck and gently nibble on your throbbing clit, with a low whimper you cum for him, squirting in the process.

With your legs still spread Poe enters you, you easily accommodate him because you are still extremely wet.

"Oh creator you are so wet, and so tight". Poe moans as he penetrates you. "You feel amazing".

Both of you were still tipsy and had neglected to ask about birth control. Even though you weren't on anything you assumed he was.

He's a gentle lover, he teases you by sliding his entire length in, and then all the way out again.

As you are impaled on his body you squirm and cum with Poe deep inside of you. Your own orgasms trigger his own release, but you are gripped onto him too tight and he can't pull out in time.

He cums inside of you, the warm sensation is unfamiliar because you have never let anyone inside of your body unprotected.

"That felt amazing". Poe confesses as he passionately kisses you and pulls his soft cock out of your body. "I'm sorry about the mess, I really tried to pull out".

"Don't worry about it". You tell him with a nervous laugh.

He gets you a towel and helps you clean up, soon after he rolls over and falls asleep.

Well, you thought he was asleep.....

"Can I put my arm around you?" Poe whispers softly.

"Sure, go ahead". You reply, smiling a little.

The two of you fall asleep spooning, he's the little spoon with his arm wrapped around you, with his face resting on your back.

The entire experience feels very warm, intimate and tender. You're a little surprised by how soft and affectionate Poe is.

The next morning both of you wake up with horrible hangovers. Poe gets up and cooks a simple breakfast of waffles and toast, not only is he the best pilot in the resistance but he's also an excellent cook.

You are enjoying your meal despite the awkward silence that has suddenly developed between the two of you.

You've crawled back into that shell that adult beverages had liberated you from temporarily.

Despite the fact that you enjoyed yourself the previous night you still feel ashamed and somewhat dirty from the encounter.

You've never done anything like that before with anyone, let alone the leader of the squadron.

What was everyone else going to say if they found out?

"Your secret is safe with me". Poe assures you, leaning over and kissing you on the forehead. "I won't kiss and tell".

"I've just never done anything like that before". You tell him, smiling weakly. "When I'm drunk I'm a different woman".

"If you feel like I took advantage of you I'm truly sorry". Poe continues, his smile fading. "I just got carried away in the moment".

"Oh no, I wanted it to happen". You reply quickly, your weak smile coming back. "And it was magical, you were very respectful and it felt great".

With those parting words you get dressed and walk home. You bump into your friend, birthday girl Yasmela, in the hangar later that afternoon when you are doing routine maintenance on your X wing.

"Everyone saw you leave the party with Poe". Yasmela teases, a bright smile appearing on her face. "Tell me every raunchy detail".

"Poe walked me home, I passed out on my sofa, the end". You lie, your face getting slightly flushed from anger.

"Salemm saw you doing the walk of shame this morning". Yasmela continues, a mischievous glint appearing in her eyes.

"Just fucking stop it! Okay!" You snap, displaying a rare flash of anger. "Absolutely nothing happened between us! End of story".

Yasmela looks slightly taken aback by your outburst. But she soon smiles and says,

"Okaaaay, y/n, I get it, I'll be leaving now".

Your friend slinks off into the crowded, noisy hangar. You know for a fact that she doesn't believe you, and that she will do her best to find out what truly happened.

Flash forward back to six weeks after your encounter with Poe. After experiencing sore breasts, morning sickness and terrible mood swings you reluctantly take a home pregnancy test and discover that it's indeed positive.

You're terrified, and you have no idea how your secret can be kept now.

End of part 1

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron smut #star wars #star wars smut #poe dameron x you #poe dameron imagine

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jasontoddiefor · 4 years ago

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Remember that AU in which Anakin is a single father in witness protection after turning on his boss and falls in love with Obi-Wan? Here’s more. Read on AO3!

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Anakin thought he wasn’t seeing correctly when he stared into the face of Dooku Serenno. Anakin had met the man plenty of times in the past, in the part of his past he thought he could l finally leave behind and forget, more or less at least. He couldn’t believe it. Everything had been going great lately. He had gotten a part-time job to keep busy when the twins were gone and the FBI wasn’t breathing down his neck, the twins had adjusted wonderfully to Kindergarten and had made plenty of friends, and Anakin had a boyfriend.

An absolutely perfect man miles out of his league whom he didn’t deserve and still stayed with him. Obi-Wan was too good to be true sometimes. He was caring and thoughtful with his every gesture, adored the twins and never even minded it when they talked about Padmé. Anakin hadn’t even thought about dating again before meeting him, his status making it more than difficult, and even without that – Anakin loved Padmé. He couldn’t imagine not being in love with her and had always assumed that immediately would deter anybody who could see past the whole single-father of twins and yet Obi-Wan never even looked jealous. If anything, he encouraged the twins to speak of their mother.

Anakin had known that he fell hard and fast for people, but the thought of Obi-Wan someday not being there had already become unbearable.

And now he was staring at Dooku.

Dooku, who knew all the blood that stained Anakin’s hands, who had seen him at his worst and walked through the aftermaths of one of Vader’s infamous tantrums. The fragile peace Anakin had found was threatening to fall apart just because of his presence.

“I believe should be asking you that,” Dooku spoke up icily. “What are you doing here, Vader? What do you want from my grandson?”

“Grandson?” Anakin echoed. Right. Dinner with Obi-Wan’s family of which Dooku was a part. Anakin couldn’t see any resemblance between Obi-Wan and Dooku – but Obi-Wan had said that he was adopted. And yet, still-

Still – how could somebody as good as Obi-Wan come from the same family as Dooku. The bastard was to blame that Sidious had gotten away with as many of his crimes as he had. Sure, Sidious had also threatened him, but the man had been stupid enough to help Sheev Palpatine once. He should have known what it would lead to. The only reason Anakin hadn’t mentioned any of that to the agents holding his leash was simply that there were more important people to worry about than the lawyers Sidious had made use of. His enforcers were much more dangerous and more likely to kill you.

“I didn’t know about this,” Anakin continued.

Dooku rolled his eyes. “Obviously… But neither did I. I thought you were dead.”

“I am,” Anakin hissed. “Vader-” Anakin paused to look around as if anybody could overhear him. It was stupid, but he had just walked into the guy who was the reason he was short an arm. He figured he could allow himself some paranoia. “Vader died four years ago and I do not plan on resurrecting him.”

“So you will just content yourself with bringing your enemies down on my family?”

Anakin felt his rage begin to boil up. That was absolutely not the case. He had done everything he could to ensure his family was safe and that nobody near him would ever learn of the secrets he was hiding.

“I didn’t-“

“Daddy, daddy!”

The door was ripped open again and Luke was staring at Anakin with wide eyes, utterly excited. “Daddy, Obi-Wan’s daddy is even taller than you!”

“Oh?” Anakin crouched down in front of his son, keenly avoiding looking ta Dooku. He knew that if he did so now, he would lose all his calm. He needed to get away from this situation for a moment.

He never should have invited Obi-Wan over, never should have spoken to him-

“That’s impossible, sweetheart,” Anakin said seriously. “Are you sure?”

“Yes!” Luke shouted and took Anakin’s hand to pull him inside. “Daddy, you have to come see.”

Glancing back at Dooku, Anakin allowed himself to be dragged away by his son. He made a gesture that hopefully conveyed that Dooku should shut his mouth and focused on Luke instead.

Luke led him into the living room. It was small but cozy and half the dishes were already put on the table. The food looked amazing, much more extravagant than anything Anakin was used to for homemade dinners and his and Obi-Wan’s dates had all been homemade dinners because Anakin was a paranoid bastard who didn’t want to leave the twins home alone with a babysitter.

Anakin kind of wanted to throw up.

This was so normal.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had done that-

No, he could. Over five years ago, in those last months of Padmé’s pregnancy when they had thought they had escaped Sidious and were just happy together. They had eaten breakfast in bed and cooked together and wondered how they would handle all this with a child as neither had been particularly used to running a household on their own. They had tried to figure out what house to buy and how to paint the nursery-

“So you’re Anakin Lars, yes?”

The man Luke had led him to was indeed taller than Anakin, though not by that much. He had long hair, pulled back into a ponytail, and a kind smile. He seemed like a nice man, utterly unbothered by Leia sitting on his shoulders and braiding his hair.

“Yes, Sir,” Anakin said.

That was how you still introduced yourself to your partner’s parent, wasn’t it? Anakin wasn’t slipping back into yes, master, no, master, I will try, master-

“It’s nice to meet you Anakin,” Qui-Gon said warmly. “And no need to call me Sir, please. I’ve been waiting to meet you. Your twins have already had a lot to say about you.”

“Ah yes. They talk a lot,” Anakin said lamely. Could this situation get even anymore out of control?

“Honestly, Father,” Qui-Gon then sighed and looked past Anakin to where Dooku must be standing. “What have you told this poor boy? He looks like we’re going to eat him alive.”

“I have done nothing-“

“We used to work together,” Anakin quickly intervened. “I gave Dooku’s company a hand when it came to their cybersecurity and somebody still managed to get to Dooku. Don’t think he’ll ever forgive me for that one. It was a huge loss, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Dooku gritted out in-between shut teeth. “Tremendously.”

“Is that work I hear?”

A new man entered the living room from the kitchen it looked like. His black hair was a mess and he mustered the group in front of him with interested eyes. This must be Xanatos then, Obi-Wan’s other brother.

“I thought we said no work talk,” Xanatos continued and then held his hand out to Anakin. “Nice to meet the guy who made my brother act like a schoolgirl with a crush. I’m Xanatos.”

Anakin took his hand. “Anakin.” Vader, Vader, Vader. “Lars. Niece to meet you. Obi-Wan has told me a lot about you.”

“All good only, I hope?” Xanatos asked with a smirk that was borderline flirtatious.

“Stop flirting with my boyfriend!” Obi-Wan then shouted from the kitchen as well and moments later walked inside with a couple of bowls in hand. “Please just ignore him, Anakin. He’s an idiot. Qui-Gon dropped him too much on the head as a child.”

“Hahaha, very funny,” Xanatos replied and then finally sat down in his cha. “I was a teenager already when Qui-Gon got stuck with me. You, however, itty-bitty Oafy-Wan-“

“Boys,” Qui-Gon’s voice rang out. He sounded a little tired, this arguing must happen more often then. Anakin only hoped that Luke and Leia wouldn’t turn out like that. “I apologize Anakin. I fear you get to see all of Obi-Wan’s bad sides today. The of them are not as well behaved as your children.”

Qui-Gon looked up to Leia who was content sitting on his shoulders and smiled. “You are a little princess, aren’t you, Miss Leia?”

“Yeah!” Leia agreed. “And when I grow up, I’m going to be president.”

“I will be a knight,” Luke spoke up. “And I’ll save daddy from all the bad guys.”

Anakin smiled slightly. If he had something to say about it, his son very much would not ever even see one of the ghosts haunting Anakin.

“Don’t worry, I can take care of myself.” Anakin shot Dooku a meaningful look. They could settle this later, but he wouldn’t ruin this evening for Obi-Wan.

“And what is that smell? I would give an arm and a leg for that dish.”

The twins, long used to his jokes, still giggled while Obi-Wan only rolled his eyes, Qui-Gon and Xanatos looked confused and Dooku-

Dooku was pale.

Was it- No. It couldn’t be but-

Well, Perhaps the tyrannical lawyer was feeling a little guilty about Anakin’s predicament.

Oh.

Oh, this could be fun.

#obikin #Anakin Skywalker #obi wan kenobi #star wars #fanfic #in an endless universe AUs #im having way too much fun with this au

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smol-jinyoungie96 · 3 years ago

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The Devil Judge - Episode 6

Hi again! I just finished watching Episode 6 and man I was not prepared for any of it.

At all.

From the first time since they introduced Elijah to the storyline, she is portrayed as a teenager who despises her uncle for allegedly killing her father, but the a few episodes later they shows her softer side,She might hate Yohan but at the end of the day he is the only living family she has.

So the possibilities are that she masks her worries for Yohan behind the anger because sometimes, years worth of anger and pain might overpower any other emotions we have.

It is genuinely endearing to see that despite her openly showing her hatred towards him, she also pays close attention to him. For an example she knows that he doesn’t have a love life, or that he never stays out overnight. These are little things that she observes but never shows.

When Ga On and Elijah are talking, something that occurred to me is that she is just a child.

She’s 16.

The storyline makes us think about all the suffering for Ga On and Yohan but even Elijah carries a lot of it. All she has left is Yohan, but she has to live every single day wondering if he truly killed her father or not. She doesn’t have anyone she can talk to and that’s a lot on her plate to carry it all into her adulthood.

Elijah says “Yohan ruins everything that is close to him”

My guess is that he doesn’t do it in an intentional, destructive way but because everything that he has seen since childhood is violence, deceit, abuse, selfishness and destruction. May be pushing people away is his way of keeping them safe because I highly doubt that he received the help and the closure he needed when he was a child.

The child actors are so so so good! Their acting and the way they let out emotions through their eyes was amazing!

In the beginning, when Kang Yohan makes Sun Ah jump, for a split second it makes the viewers think that he has been a manipulator since an early age, but then as the story progresses,

he catches her stealing multiple times and interestingly, he hears her telling the caretaker that she is worried about him because he is leaving the basement a lot and that she is worried about him when she, was the one who suggested that he go out when his father was not around,

Imagine being in an abusive household, getting another child who is roughly your age trying to see it you could connect with only for her to start playing games.

He didn’t trust her then and he doesn’t trust her now, she never gave him a reason to.

I don’t think her interest in him is on a romantic light at all, it is more of an obsessive love.

Yohan saying “threats are useless, because I have nothing I wish to protect” is really just a bad move from his side.

So he doesn’t have Elijah? He doesn’t have an annoying little pest living in his house who resembles his brother?

Him saying that will only motivate her to dig deep to find what matter to him.

When he asks her what she wants and she says that she doesn’t care who he goes after as long as he stays away from the SR Foundation, it made me think that she is not stupid.

She is cunning and she just knows that telling Yohan to stay away from the foundation will only make him do the exact opposite. So there is a chance that it could be a trap?

Why did she take the cross chain from Yohan? Two possibilities, either it’s because she still likes it, or because she knows that it IS precious to Yohan, if she has it, she also has a reason to make him come back to her.

Coming to Elijah’s growing attachment to Kim Ga On,

he cares for her like a father would to his daughter, he cooks for her, he makes an effort to spend time with her, he covered her while she is sleeping etc.

No matter how much she tried to push him away, he is still there, he is becoming a constant in her life.

I’m not saying that Yohan doesn’t care for her.

Nobody cares for her more than he does probably but Yohan doesn’t openly show it.

When you’re a child, sometimes the thing you need the most is a solid presence of an adult and what she doesn’t get through Yohan, she gets through Ga On and well.. he also looks exactly like her father.

So it makes sense that she is showing a sort of a possessive attachment towards Ga On as if she is afraid that she will lose the one constant in her life.

It was wrong for Ga On to take Elijah out to meet Soo Hyun without asking Yohan first and it was also wrong of Yohan to chuck him to the wall like a ragdoll and to accuse him of taking Elijah to see a cop.

It’s obvious why Yohan is worried about his niece after everything that went down with Jung Sun Ah, but i feel like he shouldn’t have hinted towards going after Soo Hyun just to make a point.

Because for Ga On, Soo Hyun is all he has. He is already too neck deep into the Lion’s den and having the spotlight on Soo Hyun is a trigger for him.

The scene with Minister Cha and the other two women.

That was definitely Elite vs. Elite.

They are all at the same social status but when the times call for it, Minister Cha has the ability to make them drop to their knees.

The interaction between Jung Sun Ah and Minister Cha initially began with insults being thrown, belittling Sun Ah but now it has developed to a place where they help each other.

Minister Cha helps Sun Ah with the Foundation work and in return, Sun Ah helps her with taking revenge on Yohan.

Terrifyingly interesting.

Jung Sun Ah knows that Kim Ga On means something to Yohan, her first target is Ga On himself.

When it comes to Ga On, Min Jung Ho is a father figure, she already had a plan in mind when she made that biker lady trick Ga On.

When he asks Min Jung Ho, even he says that he suspects Kang Yohan and Yohan already threatened Soo Hyun so in his mind, the gears will start to work because he knows from experience that Kang Yohan really doesn’t mind going berserk when he wants someone out of his way.

Then the attention comes to Oh Jin Joo. Sun Ah is smart for this. The way she slowly poisons Jin Joo’s mind with that whole conversation about only men’s pictures being on the wall, for a moment is feels like she is encouraging Jin Joo to be ambitious but later! When the two associate judges are together, you just know that Sun Ah already got inside Jin Joo’s head when she goes “does he look down on me or something?”

Oh Jin Joo idolizes Yohan. So for her to slowly turn against him..

So technically her plan is to turn the baby associates against Yohan.

Bad lady

Coming back to Ga On struggling, he keeps seeing things that makes him rethink his intuitions when it comes to Yohan.

First it was the children playing with the ruler and now it’s a group of weird cult going around flogging people because “According to Kang Yohan, he will accept people’s wishes and flog terrible human beings”

So once again, the public adapting barbaric punishments from what they see in court, does make Ga On rethink about his choices.

Soo Hyun’s Attack

Obviously Yohan is keeping tabs on both Soo Hyun and Ga On, but then again, the drama really has their way of making the viewers think hard, For an instance,

The phone conversation Yohan has, the guy says “there is a chance she might know about the transfer”

Indicating that, to viewers again it makes us think that Kang Yohan really may have had something to do with the bribing or that they might actually go after Soo Hyun, but we all know that Yohan would never and it was pretty obvious who it was with the gloved hand,

So in conclusion,

biker lady attacks Soo Hyun, takes the passbook, gives it to Sun Ah who then plots with Minister Cha but unfortunately,

The threat Yohan made against Soo Hyun is too fresh in Ga On’s mind so obviously he suspect him first,

They highlighted that god damn German scissor too many times in Episode 6 and of course it is the same scissor Yohan stabs literal inches away from Bambi’s face.

Which was really an intricate scene, Jinyoung and Jisung as actors played it so beautifully. The unhinged anger and the disappointment in Yohan and the way Ga On realized that the man behind him is actually genuinely dangerous.

You can see the exact moment when that fear and realization sinks in Ga On.

That Yohan could hurt him badly if he wanted to.

Ga On functions on emotions when he’s not being a judge, so if he had actually taken a breather before provoking his boss with violent tendencies, he might have realized that Kang Yohan is just too smart to do something like that so out in the open.

There’s no doubt that Yohan really lets Ga On get away with a lot of shit he does.

But for some reason, the way he warned Ga On to never again attack him, felt like his first and last warning to me.

I absolutely LOVED the way Minister Cha thought that Yohan would crumble in front of her but my man just tells her to do whatever she wants… she should know that he wouldn’t be Kang Yohan if he didn’t wasn’t hundreds of steps ahead of them.

Something that I admired in the last scene is despite how annoyed or how mad Oh Jin Joo and Kim Ga On are at Yohan, when things get heated professionally, the two baby associates were so worried about him and they were completely ready to stand by his side even when they didn’t know any actual detail. Proud of my babies 🥺

But then, Kang Yohan accepting the allegations and Dr. Safety’s random appearance right at that moment seemed a little sus.

Almost too well timed.

Kang Yohan confidently asking the public to judge him because he knows that the public is on his side especially now that the reason for the money transfer is out in the open.

Kang Yohan’s decision of counterattacking the the Dream House Project right when the public take his side was a very smart move.

It was Minister Cha who tried to drag him through the mud but in turn he targets every single one of them socialites.

The last part felt like he was actually declaring war. The drama isn’t about poor vs. rich. It’s all about the internal works of the powerful class and I can’t wait to see how intense everything is going to be.

Lastly, the preview for Episode 7.

Why on earth did Yohan decide to bring out Ga On’s parents’ death and their case to the media?

Why take him to the jail?

Why rip open wounds from 13 years ago?

I know it’s stupid to jump in to theories and conclusions before we watch the episode because he always has a reason for everything he does,

But it made me think for a second was it because he wants to push Ga On to the limit until he breaks to the point where he has to solely rely on Yohan?

Because i get that Min Jung Ho is the parental figure in Ga On’s life but if Ga On were to ask him intense questions about his parents case, Min Jung Ho wouldn’t be completely honest with him, probably for Ga On’s safety but also there might be somethings that needs to stay hidden,

But Kang Yohan isn’t like that. He would be blunt and brutally honest if Ga On started asking him questions about his parents.

If Ga On were to rely on Yohan, that would also mean that Yohan would have control over him, either to use him as a pawn or to control Bambi enough to keep him safe and out of being targeted.

Lastly, am I the only one who is suspicious of Min Jung Ho?

If you made it this far again, thank you for reading my stress rant.

Now i’ll go back to silently stressing about next week because i have nothing better to do.

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #406

“turned on all the lights, the tv, and the radio / still, i can’t escape the ghost of you”

Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you have any rare medical conditions? I believe AvPD is considered to be a rare mental disorder. Do you have to carry an epi pen? No. What color is your mailbox? I think it's black. I don't pay attention. Would you ever want a job working with animals? I'd love to. The thing is, without a degree in something, my duties working with animals would almost certainly involve cleaning up after them, which I am WAY too squeamish with fecal matter and vomit to do. It's extremely embarrassing, but I've never even been able to clean up after my own pets if they ever had an accident or got sick. I obviously couldn't do it with random animals. Did you have a good high school experience? It's... so odd, retrospecting on high school. In some ways, it was the best time of my life because of my memories with my friends and especially Jason, but at the time, I absolutely loathed it and was horribly depressed. But at least I saw a future for myself. I took better care of myself, all that stuff... That Brittany would be fucking mortified to get a glimpse at who she becomes. Have you ever watched any Monty Python movies? Which one is your favourite? I know I've seen some of at least one. Would you ever get a "below the belt" piercing? Nah. If a couple is married, do you think there should be any legal punishment if one person cheats? No...? Like don't get me wrong at all, I am firmly against cheating under any circumstance, but for there to be legal retribution seems extreme. What is the greatest source of anxiety for you? My future. Are there any hallucinogenic drugs you’d like to try? Nah man. What made you choose your current job? I'm unemployed. Do you feel uncomfortable on the dance floor? Or are you confident with you dancing abilities? Oh hunny, you won't see me on the dance floor. Unless MAYBE if the Cha-Cha Slide comes on, or the Cupid Shuffle. That's as skilled as I get, haha. Is it exciting to you to imagine having an affair with a teacher? ... No??????????? It's fucking creepy. Adultery isn't exciting. Do you like your smile? No. I absolutely look high when I smile. What is something silly that you believed to be true when you were a child? That I could invoke the traits of any animal, which I just referred to as my "animal powers." Like for example, if I "called upon" a kangaroo, I could jump higher. I was a weird fucking kid. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you completely connected with on a mental/emotional level, but did not find physically attractive in any way? Was physical intimacy a problem? How did it work out? I was never really physically attracted to Girt, but it was never a big deal to me. I cared way more about his personality and how much he cared about me. We were never really "intimate," per se, we just would give each other a simple peck. It didn't work out, but not at all because of physical things. He was just too much of a brother to me. What classic or cult movie have you never seen and have no desire to? Hm. I know there's some, but I'm blanking. Does The Human Centipede count here? Like everyone knows about it, so I would assume it does. I have ZERO desire to see a second of that repulsive movie. Have you ever taken a real liking to a band/singer you never ever....ever thought you'd enjoy? Maybe Melanie Martinez? Her voice is so cutesy, as are some of her songs, but I really enjoy how dark her lyrics can be. People who know me would probably be shocked to hear I thoroughly like her. After seeing the movie Avatar did you suddenly view our Earth as ugly and/or boring? If you have not seen the movie, do you think it’s worth your time? I've seen a little bit of it, but I never finished it because I was very tired and chose to go to sleep. I actually do want to see the full thing, though; it looks very good. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? My parents are truly incredible with helping me the best they are capable of. They helped me pay for school, among other things, but I doubt they'd help with my first home, whenever that is. I wouldn't really want them to, either, because that's my responsibility for sure. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? I love video games, and horror is absolutely my favorite genre. I also love fantasy games though with deep stories. I've never been the best at playing super long games, like Final Fantasy games, even if I'm seriously invested in the story, though. I burn out. Have you ever sewn a garment? No. Are there any plants in the room you’re in? No. I don't bother with plants. What’s your highest level of education? Some college. What’s the most important thing in any kind of relationship? Proper communication, probably. If you wear lipstick, what’s your favourite colour to wear? I only really put on lipstick to occasionally take a picture, and it's pretty much always black. Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? Somewhere in the middle, I guess? Are there a lot of dragonflies around your house? I've never seen one around this house, and I doubt I ever will because it's too urban. When we lived in the woods, however, I saw them a lot. Of all the Disney couples, which one would you say is your favorite? Kovu and Kiara came to my mind first. Do you think it is cute/funny or disgraceful when a child swears? It's shocking, more than anything. You don't expect it. I don't believe it should be encouraged, but only because children just don't know when swearing really isn't appropriate. If/when you have a baby, how do you think you would want to decorate its room? I don't want kids, but I'll entertain the question and assume this is before the child is born and develops interests. Whether it's a boy or a girl, I'd probably go with a cutesy animal theme. Would you more likely buy a shirt with a picture of Mickey/Minnie Mouse, a Winnie the Pooh character, Snoopy, Hello Kitty, or Tweety Bird on it? None, honestly. Perhaps like, a gothic Hello Kitty. Of all the states you have been to, which one did you have the best experiences? Putting aside the AWFUL heat and humidity, I probably had the best time in Florida. I loved all the palm trees, seeing so many lizards on my grandma's patio, and going to Disney World was a blast. I liked that swimming pools were always warm, too. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to? No. I was madly in love with him, so no regrets on that. If your boyfriend ever hit you, would you dump him? HA, BYYYYEEEEEEEEE MOTHERFUCKER. ZERO hesitation. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? He did, but I honestly don't know if he meant it. Is there anything you want to say to someone? It'll probably go unsaid for the rest of my life. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? Yikes, hard pass. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? Noooo thank you. Did you wake up in the middle of the night? I always do. Does your animal sleep with you? My cat does. Venus obviously sleeps in her terrarium, but she is in my room. Last color you dyed your hair? Red. Will you keep your last name when you get married? Very unlikely. I don't like my last name. What are you looking forward to? Hearing back again from the woman whose wedding I shot literally two years ago. I thought she ghosted me, but she messaged me the other day about seeing the pictures again and going through them to actually buy some. I don't know why the hell it took her two years, but whatever, I guess? I spent two whole hours resizing the files and re-adding the preview watermark (I deleted the OneDrive folder for space forever ago, but I have the files still), so I hate to sound like an ass, but she better buy something. Between sweating my ass off on location when I shot the wedding, editing those 100+ pictures two years ago, and now re-doing the previews, I have invested so much goddamn time into them that yeah, I think I have the right to be pretty damn salty if I don't hear back from her again. If your significant other cut sex out of your relationship for any reason, what would you do? It'd be whatever. I mean sure, that sort of intimacy is a very special part of serious romantic relationships to me, but I can live without it pretty easily. What was the last thing you said out loud? "Thank you for dinner" to my mom. She brought home Hardee's. Who are your godparents? I don't believe I have any. Do you like Gushers? omggggg yes Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? Nope. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favourite character? Uhhhh what was it... The Shining, I think? I didn't really develop a favorite. Do you have a friend whose name starts with ‘L’? Describe him/her. Lisa. <3 She's one of my WoW friends. She'll talk your ear off, but I don't really mind. She is SO sweet and caring for other people and loves to cook. She recently had triplets, and seeing as she had a son only months before accidentally getting pregnant with the triplets, she's obviously been MEGA busy so we haven't talked much lately. When you’re being kissed do you like it when they hold your face? Yeah, but not too early on. Doing that has a promise of seriousness and passion in it to me, and it would probably weird me out if that happened too soon. Last thing that made you cry? My health. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah. I don't think it would look good on me. Do you enjoy being outdoors? If it's cool outside and I have a place to sit when I want to, yeah. Do people tell you that you have an accent? Only sometimes. It's definitely not as bad as your average Southerner, though. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? Ha, what nice timing. I think they're very pretty, but I believe I went over in a recent survey how I don't encourage their usage in consideration of veterans with PTSD as well as being conscious of animals and the absolute terror it can cause for them. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? So my sister is a children's social worker, and she shares a LOT of stories with Mom (and me, if I'm present) that I can't listen to. The ones that involve pedophilia and/or rape, especially from the child's very own parent(s), I just cannot listen to. Period. It's so fucking repulsive and just unimaginable to me how even a monster of a human can commit something THAT goddamn vile. What’s your opinion of root beer? I'm not a big fan. I mean I can tolerate drinking some of it, but I don't really *enjoy* it. Have you ever seen The Breakfast Club, and what’s your opinion of it? I have, and I didn't get the appeal at all. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Oh god, I did. Those things are so creepy. If you had a baby boy, what would you name him? Damien, most likely.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''the ordinary world'' by the hit house

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black-wolf066 · 4 years ago

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An Au where Five dies young in the apocalypse.

(((I originally wanted this to be something more happy-ish, despite the Au idea, but my Muse demanded angst; so angst it shall have. Warnings for the general Klaus-ness of... well Klaus (he's my favorite of them all so I’m not hating on him, but we all know the warnings that come tagged with his name by now) as well as mild language and again angst.

This story is posted over on my Ao3 account under the same pen name (blackwolf066) I would link but due to people posting phishing links, I'm weary to do so. The story is called [Not an End of All, Only an End of Something])))

Klaus is not quite twenty-four, just a little over a year before the inevitable publishing of Vanya's book, when Five pops up out of the blue. And at the worst possible moment too as Klaus OD's on the ground of some seedy alleyway.

When he wakes up in the back of an ambulance, he thinks it was all just one big twisted hallucination. But then he looks over the EMT's shoulder and sees a glaring, near murderous Ben, which is not an uncommon sight at all considering where he landed himself (again). No, it's the pale figure standing beside Ben, a very rattled and pale ghost with the face of little number Five and--

"Well, shit."

Is all he can really articulate.

Ben just glares harder.

After coming to grips with it (he will never come to grips with it) and after hearing Five's sad tale; he seeks out the rest of their living siblings.

Really, he shouldn't have even bothered.

Much like how no one believed Klaus about Ben in the beginning, they sure as hell don't believe him about Five, or the bullshit he spits about the apocalypse being real (courtesy of Five telling him and Ben what all had happened after he disappeared). Klaus truly believes his brother's story, the proof of it clear enough on his ghostly corpse. The layer of soot that was too ashy and grey to really be grime. The slight wheeze to Five's words even though the boy was dead and no longer needed air. The hollowness of his cheeks and the clothes that hung too big on his too small, bony frame.

It’s a scary thought, to know that all of humanity rests on Klaus' shoulders; and all because none of his siblings could be bothered to give Klaus the time of day.

"We're all doomed." Five puts eloquently.

Klaus hisses at him, but he knows Five is right. He's the last person anyone should put their faith in and yet Five didn't have much of a choice.

Klaus didn't need the reminder.

Nor did he sign up for this shit.

(None of them did, not Ben and surely not poor little number Five, who Klaus still has a hard time keeping long bouts of eye contact with; the image of his too small brother and the clear suffering he had gone through, far worse than when Ben had appeared all bloody and shadowed in the corner of his room at Seventeen).

Meanwhile the Commission are left scratching their heads and wondering what in the hell happened. What killed Five in the first place? Was it the starvation that did him in; or the ashy air that caused his lungs to stop filling altogether? Or was it the expired Twinkie that was the straw that broke the camel’s back?

(They don't dwell on it for long. What will be will be and all that jazz)

With two nagging brothers instead of one, Klaus has a harder time chasing and keeping his continued highs. Though he doesn't want this responsibility, would rather sit back and watch the world burn during his lower moments of weakness; Klaus finds, much like Five, that he doesn't have much of a choice either.

(The disappointment on anyone's face had always been a natural state in regards to Klaus. He was the family fuck up after all, the useless number out of the lot of them; and that included Vanya. He was used to it by now, but to see that disappointment on his kid brother, hurt more than he'd ever like to admit aloud).

So he gets clean, or clean enough, no longer allowed to go for the harder stuff (the topic of Sobriety is a fight Ben and Five realize they will never win). Klaus needs something if he's to do this with his sanity still intact, the ghosts are just too damn loud, too unpredictable and too uncontrollable (not like he could ever control them in the first place) to really go full on cold turkey.

At least it's a start in the right direction, so Ben and Five will take whatever they can get at this point.

With no leads other than a glass eyeball no longer in Five's possession, there isn't much Klaus can really do but wait for nightfall and break into the Meritech facility; a company he had never even heard of (until that day) that apparently the eyeball originated from ("Obviously it came from there, Klaus, pay attention!"). With Ben and Five acting as his lookout and scout respectively (to warn of any security wandering the building as well as to point out all the cameras to duck around and avoid), it doesn't take Klaus long to find the file room, but none of the files on hand have the serial number Five rattles off and they're back to square one.

Between the span of the next six years, the harbinger of death will lose an eye and none of them know when exactly that will happen or who said harbinger will be.

And life continues on.

Klaus manages to get a job despite his record, and even a small apartment to live in. It's a shitty little studio in an even shittier part of town. It's all he can really afford, but it's the home he made for himself and his brothers and he couldn't ask for much more.

Vanya publishes her book, and though Klaus silently cheers on her ballsyness (even--deep down--understands why she did in it the first place) he would have liked it better had she not callously attacked him like she did everyone else. He debates on using the damn thing for kindling in the fireplace, but somehow can't bring himself to do it; not when it's the only picture he has of his sister despite the betrayal he feels burning in his chest.

It sits collecting dust on the bookshelf instead.

Then one day Vanya randomly appears in their ghostly midst and Klaus is honest to god ready to throw hands.

"You know this is not what I ever had in mind about getting the four-corner squad back together again." Klaus mumbles.

"There never was a 'four-corner' squad," Five grunts, "You always just invited yourself along anyway."

Fair, Klaus thinks, and smirks faintly at the twin smacks that resound in the apartment from Ben and Vanya hitting Five's arms. The little gremlin’s hissing as he threatens and dares them to do something like that ever again, do nothing to lighten the fact that Vanya is still very much dead and standing in the middle of his apartment.

"It would explain why I never found Ben or Vanya among the rest of your bodies." Five states sometime after Vanya is filled in on the whole stopping the world from ending shin ding.

Klaus doesn't ever meet her eyes the entire time they talk; skirting around the guilt laden looks she keeps shooting in his direction upon learning he was speaking the truth this whole damn time.

(Meanwhile the commission is scrambling to right this wrong, and they almost go back to save their bomb from getting hit by that car, until they realize the apocalypse is still happening)

Which is fitting, really, that where Vanya ends the world the first time, it's Klaus that ends it the second time (the commission just don't know it quite yet).

And god doesn't that just suck to know he was the cause of his brother's suffering, even if the whole damn thing was nothing more than an accident.

Reginald still kicked the bucket (ding dong the abusive bastard’s dead). Harold still somehow managed to get his hands on the damn journal and was still hellbent on getting his vengeance against the umbrella academy; even without Vanya by his side.

With his living siblings distracted in their fight against Harold and the commission (still believing that Harold is the fuse somehow in all this chaos), Klaus is still kidnapped, tortured and forced to go cold turkey (but this time it's because he knows too much, Hazel and Cha Cha being sent out to find out how Klaus even knew about the apocalypse in the first place). He still gets saved in the end, still ends up back in time alone, fighting in a war because he was too scared to use the briefcase again and end up somewhere far worse. He still gains and then loses the love of his life (his Dave, his everything). Still dies, talks to dear old daddy and comes back--to the land of the living where his dead siblings all hover worriedly around him.

And all of this spirals with Klaus being absolutely and utterly done with everyone's shit: with the added scary bonus of secondary powers he didn't realize he even had (nor can control) due to said cold turkey experience.

In the end Harold really was the fuse, and the world is ended because his ghostly siblings couldn't penetrate the fog of Klaus' panic attack to calm him down (a panic attack induced by a mix of PTSD, the complete lack of faith his living siblings still have in him, and the resulting battle that ensues as Harold strikes the mansion).

His already uncontrollable telekinesis goes ballistic when the mansion explodes from C-4 Harold had planted around the block. He doesn't see the fighting that results from it, he doesn't see Luther rip Harold's eye out either (an eye he gained from pissing off the wrong people at the wrong time in his incarceration). All he hears is the fighting, the loud explosions, and the crumbling of the building around him. All he can smell is the smoke. All he can feel is the heat of the flames as they begin to lick teasingly at his skin and before he knows it, he finds himself back in that god forsaken jungle.

And so, ends all of ‘something’.

it's not a moon chunk to end everything in a fiery blaze of death, but an earthquake as Klaus' power unintentionally shifts the tectonic plates enough to set off every volcano in the world (dormant or otherwise).

Oh well.

C'est la vie

What will be, will be.

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gizkasparadise · 4 years ago

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kdrama rec/review: bridal mask

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: bridal mask / gaksital Episodes: 28 Genres: historical, action, drama, romance, tragedy, people screaming each others’ names in all capital letters 2006 anime style Spoilers in the Rec: im going to try to avoid them. im really, really going to try. but no guarantees If You Like, You’ll Like: zorro, robin hood, v for vendetta, chicago typewriter, vigilante shit, kate beaton comics on My Nemesis, mr sunshine, watching people become progressively unhinged, bad guys that become good guys, good guys that become bad guys, Parallel Narratives, cat and mouse games but they’re both cats, 2010 hair in a 1930s world, people in a room together internally thinking does he know that i know that he knows?

Rank: 9.5/10

GAKSITALLLLLLLLLLLLLL PREMISE

set during the japanese occupation of korea in the 1930s, bridal mask centers on lee kangto, an absolute shit weasel. like. good god, what an asshole. anyways.

kangto is a korean police officer who is employed by the japanese--meaning he’s essentially a rat/turncoat to his own people and supporting their colonization and abuse of power. it’s especially fucked up because kangto’s older brother was tortured so much by japanese police officers that he’s essentially lost his mind. people hate kangto. straight up hate him.

as a lieutenant in the imperial police, kangto’s been working to catch members of the korean resistance movement, but left and right he’s been thwarted by...

THE BRIDAL MASK (gaksital in korean)

a mysterious figure who wears a mask resembling a korean bride’s traditional makeup. bridal mask is essentially zorro, fucking up shit left and right and generally making kangto lose his shit. he makes it his goal to be the one to apprehend and arrest this mysterious figure. seems straightforward, but as kangto’s search for the bridal mask continues, and the people around him are drawn into the hunt, it’s clear that shit’s not what it seems.

MAIN CHARACTERS

lee kangto/sato hiroshi/lee young

a korean man who works for the japanese as a police officer. 0% approval rating from the koreans and maybe a 5% approval rating from the japanese. kangto’s initial goals for joining the police force were to help his family get out of poverty, but his morality’s been cha-cha sliding progressively darker the longer he works for the police force. he becomes obsessed with catching the bridal mask and everyone would like him to really quit being an asshole but he will not.

catch phrase is bingo! takes over the nightclub stage when he’s feeling swaggy. would shoot the love interest. shoots pretty much anyone wearing a mask, really, then yells about it

oh mok dan / mild spoiler: esther / spoiler: boon yi

a patriotic korean woman associated with the independence army, mok dan commits acts of subterfuge and gathers intel against the japanese forces. her day job is a performer at a circus, where she lives and hides out from japanese officials whenever shit goes awry. when lee kangto sees her getting saved by bridal mask, he assumes she’s the bridal mask’s lover and therefore intends to use mok dan as The Bait. mild spoilers it turns out she was once childhood friends with lee kangto’s best friend, kimura shunji

wears many amazing suits. has no problem with spitting or shooting. fears no boxes. can take a punch or 5. basically my dream girl it’s fine

kimura shunji

a japanese man and kangto’s best friend. coming from a family of influential, imperialist asshole samurai cops, shunji is the black sheep as he works as a music teacher for korean children, and is generally against the corruption and abuse of power when he sees it. basically the only one kangto’s never a straight up asshole to, including his family. the two practice what appears to be kendo together (i know jack shit about martial arts), and shunji’s a capable fighter. my default is to assume shunji is everyone’s favorite character, because he is my favorite character :’D, but if not i think he’s definitely the most compelling in the series.

wears bowties when he wants to dress to impress. rides bicycles both happily and tragically. has a thing for a childhood friend who saved his nanny. will give you a ride home after you’ve been tortured. save this man from his family.

ueno rie/ra ra/ spoiler: chae hong joo

a korean woman from a rich family that was murdered by the independence army who later became a gisaeng. as a gisaeng, she crosses paths with a very important japanese man who later adopts her into his family. because the japanese police keep fucking up the apprehension of bridal mask, her adoptive father calls her to korea from japan in order to kill the vigilante

stealth fave?! will step all over you and makes grown men cry. hyper competent and hardcore. bridal mask’s best dressed (try again with the bow ties next year, shunji). men are weak

the bridal mask GAKSITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the mysterious figure either ruining or making everyone’s day. dramatic horse escapes. dramatic rescues. generally just drama. symbolically destroys japanese flags/insignia a lot. GAKSITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS SELECTED BY HOW MUCH THEY ARE MY FAVORITES

mok damsari

mok dan’s father and a general in the independence army. v good at being rescued dramatically. knows how to make an exit and also bombs. dispenses life wisdom when he’s got free time in between rounds of being torture

lee kang san

kang to’s older brother, who joined the independence army and was tortured by the japanese police to the extent that he’s now lost his mind/severely mentally ill. dude just needs a hug or 20 and to never chase after a car ever, ever again because it makes me sad.

katsuyama jun

ueno rie’s bodyguard, which is amusing to me because she can clearly kill anyone she needs to, so it’s kind of like he’s a butler as well. stoic af, says maybe 20 lines in the entire series, but look, he’s cool

i dont like any of the japanese police officers because they’re dicks so they don’t get a feature :|

Drawbacks

the production value is something you gotta settle into LOL. there’s the cheesy martial arts sound effects, sometimes it skews a little narmy, but once you get used to it and once the show gets progressively darker (and how) you adjust and then don’t notice it

my main #1 beef: mok dan starts to disappear in the last fourth of the series. like she’s still there, but she’s doing bullshit like making soup and just sitting at a table with nothing to say. as a character that’s so important in the first half, it’s severely disappointing the route that her narrative takes toward the end/she does become something of a satellite character even though i still love her

there are main character deaths--more than one. some people would say the ending is bittersweet but to me i think it’s straight-up sad (which is fine with me/appropriate for the story, i just know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea)

there’s torture and for the most part it’s shown / it’s not off-camera

shit gets dark. the first handful of eps might lull one into thinking is something like zorro or robin hood, but there’s a lot of fuckery and death by the time you get to the end

Reasons to Watch

i mean, it’s fun! which is a messed up thing to say about a dark show, but there’s a lot of twists and the show’s an extended game of cat-and-mouse that’s a good time because the audience knows certain things but the main characters don’t. the drama of it all!

Now That’s What I Call Character Arcs. kang to + shunji’s respective character arcs are amazing and are referred to as the best part of the show for a reason. you’ll hate and love them both throughout the series and it’s great. shunji was my favorite

i love both the female leads a lot. they’re totally different in personality and the sides that they’re on, but they’re both compelling and they have their own troubles and goals to work through

one of the main characters looks around the chaos happening and decides to just fucking leave all these people behind forever lmao i love it

acting is great! some people knock on mok dan’s actress but i thought she was perfectly fine for the character

i’ll admit, i’m into characters who become progressively unhinged and the actor who plays the character who does is so so A+

there’s romance but gd does it get dark sometimes. this is a plus or a minus depending on who you are lol

Final Thoughts.

#bridal mask #gaksital #joo won #park ki woong #jin se yeon #gizka does kdrama #gizkarec #kdrama #GAKSITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL #!my post

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vaguely-concerned · 5 years ago

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even MORE mandalorian ep 3 observations

this episode is so dense there’s just so much stuff in it!

- every single moment of baby yoda looking around in wonder and trepidation and trying to get mando’s attention is a fresh dagger in my heart. dishonorable mention to when he sees the small-ish alien in the spacesuit in the market and makes a quizzical noise and looks up at mando because it so perfectly matches up to how babies go ‘???’ at their parents to get explanations and reassurance. also the baby totally gets bad vibes off the storm troopers immediately and glances up unsettled but all full of trust like ‘dad why are we here?’ aUGH this short walk is probably going to haunt me and mando both for the rest of our lives

his little mouth falling open when he sees the doorbell eyestalk thing haha he’s doing the shocked pikachu face!

- when dr pershing is scanning the baby and it looks uncomfortable you can see mando moving forward just a little bit. dad instincts clearly screaming and kicking to get to the surface there lol

with the reveal in episode 7 that the empire dude is kind of an unironic mandalorian fanboy... boy this whole thing feels real weird

- if my eyes do not deceive me I think mando’s hands are actually shaking when he reaches out for the beskar. you’re welcome I didn’t want to be alone in knowing this

- you might find yourself wondering how many bars of beskar the reward consists of and who would be enough of a loser to pause the show just to count them out. I can inform you that it seems to be 20 altogether, 10 per stack. (i’d really thought they’d go for 30, just to twist that fucking salt-encrusted knife in the wound)

- “My armor has lost its integrity; I may need to begin again” fhsakdlfhds OH MY GOD he was not kidding; on the first watch I was just thinking about the breast plate but if you look closely half of his armor is just loosely tied on with rags fskdjfhask everyone else probably realized this before but what can I say I’m slow and easily amused

like yeah okay that’s a line with great thematic resonance and importance -- yes, he is going to have to change and essentially start over -- but also... poor mando had to clean his muddy armor post-mudhorn and then after bending the pieces back into shape as best he could he resorted to TYING THEM BACK ON that is one of the funniest and most endearing things I’ve ever seen, this is the way motherfuckers (Actual Engineer Kuiil watching him and shaking his head like ‘well that looks like so much scrap metal to me at this point but you do you kid’)

- just like in episode 1: while the armorer is preparing to work the camera occasionally cuts back to mando and every time there’s the sound of people screaming in the background fklhdsalkfhsda it’s just so UPSETTING

they keep zooming in on the melting Empire symbol in this one -- it’s definitely meant to underscore the general unease of the situation both because of the baby and the y’know empire part, but is it also hinting that mando might be flashing back to something to do with the purge too in a less direct way? :Ia

- relatedly: the armorer remains so fucking cool. I love how her design tells you that she’s clearly a part of the group but also something more, between the gold and the fur and the more refined/owl-like helmet shape. she looks so sturdy, like you might as well try to move a mountain. she also looks timeless compared to the others, you can absolutely believe she’s the personification of their traditions. (traditionally mandalorian armor has just looked. really really silly to me so huge kudos to the design team of this show making me go HELL YEAH whenever I look at mando or the armorer)

- cha boy pulling up to the club with a fresh new colour scheme lol it was nice of the tribe to give him a new cape and... idk what you’d call that fabric stuff he wears under the metal armor but it’s all in a unified Look now. ‘this would be appropriate for your station’ huh, so is he pretty high up their ranks? is this a seniority thing? some of the mandos in the background look very basic compared to mando, paz vizla and the armorer -- is it possible that a lot of the older mandos died in the purge and they fought to save the younger ones? this group does seem very focused on protecting the children (the foundlings are the future)

- hahaha mando has his hands tightly curled into fists the entire time he sits during the talk with greef karga -- his whole body is going ‘actually. this. is FINE I can’t believe how fine it is I can totally keep going like this’ through gritted teeth. so much good hand acting in this ep! and I love how in this new armor he’s coming out of his indifference and apathy -- what are the empire remnants doing here in the first place, actually? what the hell do they want with a baby? he comes alive a bit and it’s incredibly satisfying

- it really takes him all of twenty seconds after noticing the missing metal ball to make up his mind to do this completely buckwild thing. I love him

- credit to dr pershing for trying to shield the baby with his own body even though he’s a bespectacled noodly scientist with no weapons up against a dude in full armor and the wrath of gods in his bearing right then.

- the baby opens his eyes and realizes who’s carrying him while they’re inside the base and he leans his little head against mando’s chest 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 too bad this happens when mando is too preoccupied literally roasting a stormtrooper to notice but I saw it and I cried

- that little uh jump almost? when mando opens fire when he’s surrounded by the bounty hunters? YES WONDERFUL. and he’s still so gentle when he puts the baby down ;___;

- you know mando’s grappling line is in many ways the polar opposite of his flame thrower. reliable. sturdy. incredibly versatile. unflashy but gets the job done. look at how well your brother is doing, flame thrower, why can’t you be more like him

also he does seem to sort of like greef karga even though he doesn’t trust him very much (and rightly so haha), and karga’s regret that mando broke the code doesn’t seem entirely rooted in losing his best man either. like they clearly don’t understand each other (or at least karga VERY Does Not Understand how mando actually works under the surface, when he’s not just going through the motions) but there’s a sense of mutual respect there anyway. I wonder just how long they’ve been working together (this being star wars... how much do you bet we’re getting tie-in novels explaining just that lol)

#star wars #the mandalorian #meta #I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM YOU HAVE A PROBLEM #hands down still the best episode tho #it's as full of Stuff as episode 7 but it holds its emotional core better (though tbf it also has less to do since it's mid-season)#debora chow knows her stuff #grabbing a few minutes between family stuff to post this haha

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noona-kisses · 4 years ago

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Search Query: WWW (Series Review)

Search Query: WWW popped onto my radar when it was announced last year because it was a Noona Romance -my favorite kind of K-drama. Sadly, I didn’t get to watch it then because I was busy with my job at a Korean hagwon, applying for jobs in Japan and preparing to move, and then later actually moving. I was able to watch it recently, though, and I really wanted to put my thoughts about it down, because I have many. Future reviews of dramas will probably follow a 2 episode per post format; basically following the weekly airing styles. This one, however, will be a basic overview of the series and my thoughts on the ups and downs of it. I’m ready and willing to have discussions, because I have A LOT of thoughts on this drama and I’m always interested to see how other people interpreted things.

So let’s get it started!

Synopsis:

Bae Ta Mi is a 38-year-old director at one of Korea’s two biggest web portal sites, UNICON. Due to UNICON’s corrupt Korean infrastructure, Ta Mi ends up fired from her position and beginning at new job at UNICON’s main competitor, BARRO, with only one goal: to destroy UNICON. Along the way she ends up meeting Park Mo Gun (often written in subtitles as “Morgan”), the 28-year-old CEO of the gaming music production company Millim Sound and begins a complicated relationship with him.

What I Liked:

Female Representation:

I didn’t want my synopsis to be too long, so I purposely said nothing about our other characters, but let me make this clear: I was LIVING for the relationships between our three female leads. Bae Ta Mi, Song Ga Gyeong, and Cha Hyeon are all women who, by society’s standards, are unlikable. Ta Mi appears cold to people who don’t know her and she’s not afraid to speak her mind, and she’s extremely confident in her own abilities. Ga Gyeong is clever and cunning, as well as ambitious, and she’ll do anything to achieve her goals. Hyeon is physically strong and opinionated, and she is definitely not afraid to make those opinions known. And these descriptions can’t even begin to really depict what the characters are like onscreen.

All three of them are completely different from the women we see in the typical K-drama. These women don’t need a man to save them, and they definitely won’t let a man distract them from what they want. They also refuse to bow down under pressure. Add to this that all of them are in positions of power in their companies (Ga Gyeong is second only to the CEO, and Ta Mi and Hyeon are both directors) and are the ones calling the shots, and you’ve got some incredibly powerful females. Even our female baddies (Ga Gyeong’s mother-in-law and UNICON’s CEO) are women. The women in this show are powerful, diversely written (some side characters are very uncertain, or man-obsessed, or smart) and the impact this makes can’t be denied. As a 30-year-old woman, I was rooting for all three women and was so happy to see characters that I could really relate to.

Complicated Female Relationships:

Often in dramas I see the relationship between females falling into two categories: endlessly supportive and close besties, or bitter enemies. I absolutely love that this drama went beyond that. It was a clear depiction that friendship can be a maze, and one wrong turn can get you stuck. For example, a flashback and Ta Mi’s own words tell us that her and Ga Gyeong used to be very close and friendly, until Ga Gyeong got married and promoted at work. By the time we really meet them, they’re at each other’s throats. We know, as viewers, that it’s because of complicated reasons (Ga Gyeong is under A LOT of pressure from her mother-in-law and parents to do things Ta Mi doesn’t agree with), but the characters don’t know that, and that’s the point -in real life, you don’t know anything unless the other person tells you. Similarly, Hyeon hates Ta Mi because she thinks she’s sneaky, and basically the root of all of UNICON’s evil. It’s not until she begins to work closely with Ta Mi that she can really see what she’s like, and that she’s more complex than Hyeon originally thought.

Conversely, Hyeon adores Ga Gyeong and still thinks of her as the kind, helpful and honest girl she used to be in high school because that’s what Ga Gyeong shows her. Hyeon rarely sees the side that Ta Mi saw for so long, and it puts a small kink in the relationship when Hyeon realizes Ga Gyeong might not be as good as Hyeon thinks she is. Our trio fight, bicker, and threaten each other even as they protect and save one another at the same time. They aren’t all BFFs by the drama’s end, despite the awesome final scene -but they understand each other more, and I really appreciate that the writers kept that complexity until the end.

Modern Issues:

I really, really love some of the issues the drama talks about. The debate about deleting keywords from the ranking (celebrity vs. civilian, rumor vs. private life) was interesting to watch because I honestly never thought about that before. Western portals don’t use keywords the way the show does, but doesn’t Google still use a dropdown menu of the most searched words? Doesn’t Twitter show the top trending hashtags? Being placed on there could seriously negatively affect a person’s life, and I love that the show tried to create a discussion over whether it was ethical to delete keywords, and how the decision can affect those involved (i.e., actor Ha Min Kyu wanting to die because people are criticizing his former host bar job and Ta Mi almost crumbling under the weight of knowing she pushed for the decision that caused his attempt).

As a woman who is hesitant on marriage, I was also loudly cheering when Ta Mi called Mo Gun out on his assumption that her wanting to live together but not marry was weird. She tells him that society considers his view (getting married) normal, and that he will never have to explain why he wants to get married because no one questions it since it’s expected, while she is always going to have to explain why she doesn’t want to get married because society considers her the odd one. This is especially relevant to Korea, where women are still expected to get married and have kids in their twenties, and any woman who doesn’t want to get married is considered strange.

The drama also talks about the issue of familial obligations through Ga Gyeong and her husband, Jin Woo. Her parents basically expected her to marry well and obey her husband’s family to help their own company out, while Jin Woo’s mother expects him to help her keep Ga Gyeong on a leash and connected to her. Ga Gyeong and Jin Woo both hate their parents, and by the end of the drama both of them are refusing to do what they’re told -which, again, goes against a piece of Korean culture that is still strong to this day. Children are expected to take care of their parents in their old age and to respect them and their decisions. Ga Gyeong and Jin Woo together basically make the point that there is a limit to what children should be expected to do for their parents. Yes, it’s told through the chaebol lens, but the lesson is still important to working class families also.

The drama also has one big issue that’s discussed, beginning to end, through the interactions and relationships of our characters: communication. In today’s world, communication is becoming more and more difficult, even as more forms of communication are being created. And lack of communication causes problems. If Ga Gyeong had been open with Ta Mi about the reasons she was making certain decisions, Ta Mi never would have thought so ill of her. If Jin Woo had been more open about his own feelings and wants with Ga Gyeong, he might have been able to show her how much he cared before she left. Hell, they might even have been able to do something before divorce became a necessity. But there are scenes within the show that also stress how important communication is, most notably when Alex is head-hunted by UNICON. Ta Mi reservedly tells him she’ll support him no matter what, even though she knows they can’t afford to lose him, and it’s not until Brian (BARRO’s CEO) says she needs to tell Alex this, that she does -and realizes he didn’t want to leave, but he felt like he wasn’t needed anymore.

Ta Mi and Mo Gun’s argument about marriage is also an example. They never sat down and really TALKED about it. He just kept saying “It’s okay, I can wait” and Ta Mi never REALLY pushed him to discuss and think about the topic as hard as she needed to. It became a recurring issue in their relationship and was pretty much the main reason they had so many problems. It’s an issue that doesn’t have an easy ending, but if both parties FULLY understand it, then it’s easier to be in the relationship. Another example is Hyeon’s early judgement of Ta Mi. Hyeon never really talked to her. They would argue and debate during meetings at times, but they never really discussed their personal beliefs about their work and why they thought that way. If they had communicated more openly before, Hyeon probably wouldn’t have been as harsh to Ta Mi in the beginning. There are tons of examples throughout the example of why people need to communicate, and I’m thrilled a drama attempted to create a discussion about it.

Men Supporting Women:

In this drama, the women are in charge. Sure, Jin Woo’s family is the one Ga Gyeong is stuck doing the bidding of, and Brian is BARRO’s CEO and the Korean president and all those higher in power in government are male -but it’s the women who are the ones with the real power. It’s Ga Gyeong’s mother-in-law who basically rules KU Group with an iron fist. Ta Mi and Hyeon are the ones who put BARRO on the track to beating UNICON. Ga Gyeong is the one who fights back against the dirty dealings in UNICON. And in the wake of these women are the men supporting them. Jin Woo gently offers shelter and aid as Ga Gyeong fights his mother, and even speaks up against his mom when she tries to have him bring Ga Gyeong back into the fold; Brian gives advice but otherwise lets Ta Mi and Hyeon do what they think is best for the company; Mo Gun acts as Ta Mi’s shield and comfort when things go wrong, but he cheers for her all the way.

I love seeing how much the good men in this show support the women in their lives, and how they show that support. One of the greatest scenes is when Ta Mi and Hyeon make to block the acting CEO of BARRO (Kevin) from walking into the building to sign a harmful regulation. Brian walks in to take his position back and help stop it, but after that the entire scene focuses on Ga Gyeong walking to take her place as UNICON’s new CEO and Ta Mi and Hyeon strutting through the building in pride at standing up for what they knew was right. Brian quickly becomes a background piece as the screen is filled with our three heroines. If more men in reality were like the supporting men in this drama, I know women would be better off.

Music:

This OST is BOMB. I loved every piece of music I heard, from the instrumentals to the voiced ones. Mamamoo’s “Wow” is a power pop song that makes me stand straight every time I hear it, and Elaine’s “Search” always gave me a thrill because I knew amazing things would happen when I heard it. The music can really make or break a drama (I’ve watched some dramas that made me roll my eyes HARD at the song choices), and this one chose its pieces well. The songs fit the scenes and I will most definitely buy the OST in the near future.

What I Didn’t Like:

Ta Mi & Mo Gun’s Relationship:

I’m going to say it: by the drama’s end, the lead romance was easily my least favorite part of the show. Don’t get me wrong, it started off okay and I loved it at first. Their first meeting, how quickly they connected, the small jokes they had -it was adorable, and I honestly squealed a little bit. And then they broke up. Then they got together. Then they broke up again. Then together again. When a couple has a dramatic breakup three or four times in 16 episodes, there is a SERIOUS problem that needs to be addressed, not to mention that final breakup loses its edge because a viewer is left going “I’ve already seen that before.” I understood why Ta Mi kept pushing him away, but I really, really disliked the fact that she was so wishy-washy about it. One push away before a big finale breakup and reunion, fine. But two or three? No, that’s when you know the relationship shouldn’t be happening in the first place.

I also disliked the relationship because of how Ta Mi acted/looked with him after the first few episodes. She always looked tired and withdrawn around him. A relationship isn’t supposed to make you feel or act that way. I don’t think it’s the actress’s fault (I put full blame on the director here), but as characters in a show I should see that the relationship does energize her -but even some of their more active scenes (like the piggyback vacuuming scene) shows her as lethargic and almost uninterested.

But, again, it was the constant breakups that annoyed me the most. As I mentioned above, one of their biggest issues was about marriage: Mo Gun wanting it, Ta Mi not wanting it. In real life, this is an issue that’s a deal breaker with two people. A GOOD writing of this problem is done one of two ways: either the couple agreeing to date and see what happens because they care about each other after talking about it, or the couple staying apart because they can’t deal with the uncertainty. Either way, the couple communicates their wants for the future, discuss possibilities, and then sticks to whatever decision they make. And like I said, one breakup over this is fine. But these two continued to break up over this over and over again and it drove me insane. I got SO tired of their relationship by the second breakup I was tempted to start skipping through their scenes together. That’s a pretty good indicator that the romance needs work.

Lack of Flow:

In any kind of writing, whether it be for a novel or a screenplay, there has to be a good flow. Each scene should glide effortlessly into the next one, and storylines should work together as a cohesive unit, not push the viewer out of the story. Honestly, I feel like this drama would have been pretty damn perfect if the romances for Hyeon and Ta Mi had been tossed out, and we had only focused on the women and their work the entire time. I feel this way not because I hate romance (I love it to death and Hyeon and Ji Hwan were adorable together) but because every time the show went from our heroines fighting in the business world to them giggling with their beaus, I felt like I was watching a different drama. The tone of the drama, and the women themselves, changed dramatically anytime the story shifted to focus on the romance.

In addition, I also felt that the romance was shoe-horned in. I told a friend of mine, “I’m convinced the writers wanted to make the women lesbians and kept forgetting the men even existed.” I still stand by that, because I swooned more during some of the women’s scenes together (Hyeon moving Ga Gyeong out of harm’s way, Hyeon drunk and sharing Ta Mi’s bed, Ta Mi giving Ah Ra her expensive purse) than I did during any of the scenes with Hyeon/Ji Hwan and Ta Mi/Mo Gun. The romantic scenes with them (especially with Hyeon and Ji Hwan) often felt like the writers went, “Oh, yeah, we have to do something with those men” and then wrote them in. This drama isn’t the worst case of incohesive writing I’ve seen (“Strong Woman Do Bong Soon” takes that prize with its identity crisis), but it was bad enough that I had to reorient my brain when we went from business to romance.

Final Episode:

Hear me out: I loved everything about the first part of the episode with the reading of the ethics guidelines, Ga Gyeong destroying KU Group, and the final scene with the car. My issue is definitely not with that. My issue is that over half of the episode is dedicated, yet again, to Mo Gun and Tami’s rocky relationship. I had to sit through almost forty minutes of a woman moping over the man she pushed away and their inevitable reunion. I wanted more of an emphasis on the OTHER side of the story. Where was Ga Gyeong those three months she was gone? What made In Kyung decide to actually help her? How was UNICON faring after Ga Gyeong stepped down? How did the politicians really deal with the revelation Ga Gyeong put out there?

I really wanted to see how our heroines’ actions up to that point affected their lives and the lives of those around them, as well as their relationships to each other. I wanted them to get their payoff for all their work and the fights they went through. Instead, I got a pretty rushed finish to that one and then sat through half an episode of Ta Mi running from her feelings. I feel cheated, almost, and that’s not a feeling I want to leave a drama with. Even though that final scene in the car was GLORIOUS, I wish the drama had done more for this women in the finale than just keep their romantic relationships alive. Or, if they were determined to have romance, focus on Ga Gyeong and Jin Woo, the ONLY couple I cared about in the entire show.

Overall:

Despite my heavy criticisms at the end there, I really did enjoy this drama. I cried, laughed, and cheered with these women. By the end, I felt I had made three new friends and found some awesome role models for myself. Ta Mi, Hyeon, and Ga Gyeong alone are enough to give this drama a high rating, but I’m giving it a 7/10 because despite its faults I did enjoy the ride and for once a drama made me care about the shady business side of its story -that’s extremely difficult to do.

So if you love strongly written female characters who are more like someone you’d find in real life than a make-believe fair princess and who will readily take their lives and their fates in their own hands, you definitely need to check this drama out. I adored it and will watch it again whenever I need a reminder that women are badass and shouldn’t hide it.

#kdrama #searchquerywww #www #searchwww #search www #k drama #k-drama #search query www #lim su jung #lee da hee #jeon hye jin #tvn #review #mythoughts #drama #koreandrama #korean drama

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nobodyeverasked · 5 years ago

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back to you; kim wooseok

(4704 words) - large

Summary: X marks the spot.

A/N: This isn’t a request, but I literally needed to do this or the idea would’ve slipped from my mind (I planned to do this one before their debut, which passed). I literally pumped this out in one day, so I hope you enjoy! I’m working on requests right now, so this is just something to take the edge off in the meantime.

Y/N tried his best to wring out the sweat staining the soft skin of his hands, not to be blinded by the beryl spotlights stabbing into his eyes, or deafened by the ear-piercing applause rumbling the oily black stage below him. The tremors of fear clawed throughout his body, months of hard work that passed like seconds, but felt like years amalgamating into an abyssal conglomerate of nerves bunching at the back of his throat. Produce X 101 was a rollercoaster of any emotion that a human being could possibly feel, and bared every burden that one could carry on their shoulders. It was a nightmare hidden in a daydream, but also the oasis in the desert.

He has made so many friends, and had to hug so many people a bitter farewell, clutching onto their tear-stained blazers and looking into too many glassy eyes…

Too many…

He was able to perform in front of hundreds of thousands of people and was able to hear the chimes of people's voices echo his name from every corner of the venue. He finally felt what it would be like to live in only a fraction of his most desired ambitions, and leave the pinewood floor of the same practice room at Pledis that he danced in for three years - trapped. The mirror that always stood in front of him replaced with a flurry of dancing lights and compassionate smiles.

He reflected on his journey here, and how many of those who held him dear still stood on the giant black ‘X’ in the middle of the stage, how many he danced with, sang with, laughed with, and cried with. The blade of distress wedged itself further in his heart when the numbers and names appeared on that large screen every single day.

As soon as he entered through that doorway, his entertainment company - Pledis Entertainment - shining in blinding lights on the screen behind him, eyes and expectations lingered on him like a cheap perfume, and fortunately, his audition did not disappoint. His reign as a threat, though, only lasted until the night bled into the sunlit sky, the reevaluation.

He lost his voice during the reevaluation halfway through the song. All he could do was continue to dance with the shadows of dejection strewn across his once nervous smile.

As soon as he fled from the prying eyes behind the camera, he felt the frigid shivers of sympathy already boring into his skull. His confidence and his motivation were broken, and his hopes sunk to the pit of his stomach ever since.

He never left the fragile warmth and safety of Han Seungwoo’s arms that day.

His redemption for both respect, and himself, started to build up in front of him as soon as his voice started to come back during his Blood, Sweat and Tears performance and was able to shoot up to first for two episodes straight, finally losing the stares of sympathy, and gaining curved lips of recognition.

He was a considerable threat during the series, placing in the top eleven for almost every episode. He was always commended for his relentless perseverance despite his slip-ups, his sense of humor, his seemingly endless inventory of talents and the bonds that he had with many other trainees that managed to be caught in the heavenly light of his smile. The narrative that was forged through the heat of every heavy breath he drew, and every word sung through his lips made his journey through the first half of the series seem like a breeze, what could have gone wrong?

It was Wooseok, Kim Wooseok…

Believe it or not, they were actually a couple during Wooseok’s days as a member of Up10tion, however, the twines that fused their gazes and interweaved their fingers slowly snapped, and the tides separating their touches pushed them further away from each other. Wooseok’s hiatus was the final thing that shut their mouths and stopped the peppering of one-word texts that were sent through their phones once every other week. Wooseok - the older - was absolutely bewildered, to say the least, when Pledis showed up on the screen ahead of him and Y/N came in, timidly scampering through the cobalt doorway of the main room.

Many flames burned in his heart and marred his brain. He was thrilled to look into those enthralling eyes once more, to see every single sparkle lining his crescent-moon gaze, to know the stories that hung between those upturned lips, and remember the flavour of the tongue that danced with his. However, his heart hurt just as much as every part of him yearned for his touch, and for his grip to coil around the waist that fitted between his hands so perfectly. He knew that he could only admire his boyfriend from a distance.

He made a fissure so long and wide - created through months and months of silence and habitual excuses - that no matter how close they were physically, their hearts would still be millions of miles away.

The ranks were already being shared, one less person standing on the X, and adding one more spark of sadness to fester in the pit of Y/N’s stomach.

He placed third just before this finale, he could not have fallen so far, he had confidence that he delivered a decent performance, putting all of his effort into every single line of To My World that he had. An uncomfortable, thick heat flourished under Y/N’s navy blazer, and his spirits started to fall with every name that was called. None were his…

“Lee Eunsang from Brand New Music!”

He and Eunsang never talked that much, all they used to share were approving glances of each other’s talents. They shared a mutual admiration for each other, but one that never passed through their anxiously pursed lips. Y/N had no idea how Eunsang could pull of such a vibrant head of scarlet hair, and Eunsang had no idea how Y/N found the perseverance to keep going and staying positive, despite the humiliation that thrashed wildly at him during the reevaluation, and the difficulty of working with unprofessional trainees who already had the lights of optimism fading from their dark eyes. If Y/N made the group - or ‘when’ in Eunsang’s book - he would spill out all of the feelings that were stuck on the tip of his tongue since they spared stares for each other.

“Kang Minhee from Starship Entertainment!”

He liked Minhee, and Minhee liked him, they were on the same team once, and all they could remember was suffering the same storm of hopelessness as they stood in their line, waiting for the ranks of their concept evaluation to be slapped onto that dreadful, black screen. He could still feel Minhee’s head laid limply on his shoulder when they were practicing, the haze of nightfall still felt through the hollow walls and the pale light of the practice room.

“Cha Junho from Woollim Entertainment!”

Cha Junho and Y/N had a connection that hid behind closed doors, and out from under the cerulean lights that lit under Junho’s feet. Y/N was one of the people who was able to see the side of Junho that was barely ever shown, the emotional one. The one that would have Junho heave in fits of relentless laughter when they joked with each other, the one that would cast a blush across his tanned cheeks whenever Y/N would complement his singing, or the one that would silently fanboy over Y/N’s gaze towards the camera.

“Nam Dohyun from MBK Entertainment!”

They never really conversed that much, however, all Dohyun knew about Y/N was that he deserved to feel the blue leather of one of these seats just as much as he did. They usually exchanged glances every now and then, and shared sheepish smiles when and after Dohyun failed to do a pullup. If Y/N debuts, he knows he will never hear the end of it, but he also knows that he will probably soon find something to tease Y/N about on their late-night car rides to the gym.

“Lee Hangyul from MBK Entertainment!”

Despite the vast contrast of the presences that they carried off stage, Hangyul knew that he was immediately enamoured by Y/N’s aura as soon as he performed Blood, Sweat, and Tears. The maturity that bloomed so abruptly in his peaceful eyes and the fires of such graceful intensity that writhed with every movement he made on that stage shocked him, but also brought them together. They could never forget the passive conversations that conquered the starlight seeping in through the windows of their dorm or the warmth of each other’s support that was always cradled close to their hearts.

“Son Dongpyo from DSP Media!”

These two babies were inseparable since the beginning, their combined cuteness shining a light of positivity and happiness that everyone desperately needed. Dongpyo had immense respect for Y/N since he found the motivation to move on after his mistakes during the reevaluation, and was one of the first to hold him in his arms when he stepped out of the frame of the camera. Soon enough, Seungwoo had two kids, both of whom he loves with all of his heart.

If Y/N debuts, Dongpyo hopes to let the candlelights of their emerging friendship to erupt like wildfire, and for their moments together to forever be engraved in their heads.

“Cho Seungyoun from Yuehua Entertainment!”

They barely ever conversed, only sparing glances every now and then, and smiling at each other through the screen when they performed their separate songs. Even though it was never forged into words, the respect for each other was always there - lingering in the sparks of their eyes whenever they watched each other. They would love to see each other grow if they manage to debut together.

“Song Hyeongjun from Starship Entertainment!”

Y/N was starting to get nervous now, he was in third place, and he knew that with people like Yohan, Seungwoo, Wooseok, and Jinhyuk, that there was no way he was going to be seated on one of those chairs, feeling the relieving coolness of that blue leather running under his palms. The shadows of doubt ate away at the flames of hope in his heart, and the tremors of fear and disappointment convulsing through his hands - clenched at his sides. Although his faith was starting to wither, he could not be prouder of one of his best friends, Song Hyeongjun.

They clicked ever since they caught each other’s gaze, the nervous greetings towards each other that haunted their memories fading away as they started to spend more time together, the melodies of their shared laughter forever resonating throughout their heads. They both knew that no matter how bad things got, they would always seek solace in each other, have a shoulder that they could lean on, and arms they could fall into. When they both debut - as Hyeonjun liked to remind Y/N every single day - he wants to make new memories and share more moments, burn the stage and flood arenas everywhere with their boundless compassion.

“Han Seungwoo from Plan A Entertainment!”

Y/N could barely think about how much Seungwoo has changed his life until he was swept into a tight hug, his trance of bittersweet thoughts, and the sour flavour of dread lining his tongue dissipating in the warmth of Seungwoo’s embrace. All Y/N managed to muster was a weak sigh, nestling his head into the curve of Seungwoo’s neck, and relishing in his squared shoulders that he has leaned on and cried into countless times. He hugged him as if it was his last time, the torrid heat pooling between their pressed chests reminding Y/N that with Seungwoo taking third, maybe it actually was.

Reluctantly parting, Y/N walked back to his place on the X. There was the last spot, he thought desperately. However, looking at the heavy heads that were hung around him, he knew that this… This was the end, he knew who the last two were going to be, and he knew who would be taking the twelfth spot of this group, it was not going to be him.

He had to sacrifice everything, waste his breath, hold back his tears and make limitless bonds only to see them slip through his very fingertips. The waves of his self-doubt hurling him further away from the debut that he poured his everything into.

The ringing in his ears shoved him into the pools of anguish, his head dropped too low to see Yohan winning first place and Wooseok - his boyfriend - obtaining second. Y/N may not even get to apologize to the man he still loves.

He was sorry for not being good enough, sorry for holding him back, sorry for not being there.

His heart pounded against his ribs, the lights above him carving out the oily shadows of distress tainting his once hopeful smile, and painting a tapestry of worry along his entire body. He was too deafened by his own mantra of disheartening thoughts to hear the audience ahead of him screaming his name, hoping to help the ashes of his desperation rise into the phoenix of optimism and confidence that he once was.

Everyone perched on their ranking seats were sweating bullets, hands bunched at their sides. The embers of hope blooming in their widened eyes as soon as they realized that their friend - Y/N - was not up here with them, but was on the screen behind them, along with three other trainees.

Y/N was a nominee for the X spot along with Jinhyuk, Minkyu, and Jungmo, however, he was too scared and desperate to notice, his gaze stuck to the floor below him, and his hands draped dejectedly behind his back.

Almost everyone near Wooseok could hear a rough sigh burst out from between his lips as he hunched over, his elbows digging into his knees and his nails wedging into his palm. He could still feel Y/N’s fingers interlacing with his, and he could still hear the faint echoes of the summer rain tapping against their window as they once fell asleep in each other’s arms, nothing on their minds except each other. All he wants to do is hold him, sing with him, perform with him. He wants to kiss him, hug him, embrace him. Talk with him until the sun rose and cuddle with him until the stars died. He yearned to tell him everything that he was too stupid to say, and to fall at his feet, promising to never take Y/N’s untainted love for granted ever again.

Jungmo, Minkyu and Jinhyuk, and Y/N all looked at each other in absolute shock. Looking up at the screen, exhausted and doubtful, he knew for sure that this was the end for him. He saw the other boys, and how much worthier they were for this group, how a relentless fire of hope still danced in their eyes.

He let his gaze fall back to the glossy, black floors, his reflection searing into his mind. His tired eyes, his face shaded with doubt, and his once radiant smile that entranced the entire country - no, the world - now a firm line embellishing his usually joyous features. He barely let the sob boiling at the back of his throat crash through his bitten lip until a hand clutched his, fingers silently threading together.

It was Jinhyuk, watching with heartache as a tear of unmixed anguish finally broke from Y/N’s dull eyes, the sparks of maturity that Hangyul found himself absorbed in, gone, and the healthy glow in his cheeks that burned brighter with every casual smile he shone, erased by the rivers carving into them.

Jungmo leaned over to grab his other hand, bending down and trying to look him in the eyes, but the weights of dejection only pulled Y/N’s head further down, unwilling to look at the person whose dreams that would either be broken, or the person that could make whatever menial semblance of hope he still had perish in an instant.

Y/N’s mangled thoughts finally overtook him, a cobweb of distress and sorrow thickening in his head, the darkness of his insecurities finally bringing the walls of his fragile stability tumbling down. He was too enwrapped by the cacophonies of his own anxiety and sadness, that he did not even hear the host call his name.

“Y/N from Pledis Entertainment!!!”

When the echoes - that felt oh so distant - finally clawed their way into his head, his eyes finally lifted from the floor once again, and his jaw dropped, his teary gaze pried open by the delicate hands of surprise. All of the tribulations he faced with every single week, all of the stress that infected his mind as his rank dropped and rose as it pleased, and all of the tears he shed were finally worth it. Within a fraction of his sharpening vision, he could feel everyone diving in to hug him, all of the happiness and gratitude swelling in his chest bringing him to his knees.

Everyone ranked on their blue leather seats shot up, clapping as they shouted Y/N’s name in symphonies of their own joy. Their dear friend, a kid that they forged so many memories with on and off camera, on and off the show, is going to be debuting with them, they could never feel more proud.

Y/N could barely notice people frantically wiping away his tears for him before he instantly wrapped his arms around the people closest to him, his face buried in Jinhyuk’s chest, and his arms wrapped around both Jungmo and Yuvin, who embraced him just as tightly. Walking down the aisle, and following in the footsteps of eleven of his closest friends, was one of the best feelings that he has ever experienced. Sapphire lights ignited under his feet as he looked up at the young men smiling down at him, all of the memories that he has experienced with every single one of them resurfacing in his mind.

Wooseok instantly jumped up from his chair - much to everyone’s surprise - and ran to Y/N, the younger boy who just regained his composure crumbling to the ground in tears once more when his gaze fell upon Wooseok, who had his arms spread wide open and enveloped his boyfriend in the warmest, most loving embrace that they have shared in months. It felt absolutely wonderful for both boys, to feel the skin that ran between their lips after so long, and the ardor that stirred in their mending hearts. They reveled in the flames of their compassion taking flight in the streams of cobalt light draping over them, and buried their faces into each other’s necks, the scents of their past memories still resonating in their heads even after so long.

“Y/N, baby, I’m so sorry!” Wooseok’s voice shook with tremors of boundless regret, his voice so soft - barely above a whisper - but his words so strong, as if he was screaming from the rooftops they always used to spend time on, the starlight that used to hang over them and their interwoven lips still shining brightly in their minds. “I felt so many things, but I never had the balls to tell you anything! I’m so sorry we stopped talking, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t have been there for you when you needed me! I just want to hold you, hug, and kiss you again… I want it to be just like the old times… Please…”

“It’s okay, it’s all okay…” Y/N barely managed to weave his words together through his breathy sobs. “I would like that, very much… I’m sorry, Wooseok, I should’ve-”

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about, babe…” Wooseok leaned back to wipe away his boyfriend’s tears, still streaming down his cheeks, and glistening in the spotlights still hanging over them. The heat blistering between Wooseok’s fingers singed Y/N’s skin with the scorch marks of admiration, his thumbs gently gliding across his cheeks reminding both of them how much they yearned for their delicate touches, and their interlocked gazes helping them reminisce about simpler times. Much simpler times… “Thank you. I love you, so so so so so much…”

Hearing him say those words after so long, and feeling the symphonies of sincerity lacing his words made Y/N lean his head back on Wooseok’s shoulder and melt further into his loving embrace.

They parted slowly, Y/N’s fingers still loosely entwined with the older’s, and his heart still burning with the passionate flames of a reinvigorated fondness. It has been so difficult, easing into this competition without feeling Wooseok’s soothing hands skipping stones of tenderness across his skin, or having his heart broken with every passing elimination and not having those perfect, rose lips to mend it back together. Hearing ‘I love you’ from him meant more than anything to him.

“Now go, give your speech, you deserve it…” Wooseok pulls Y/N back in for a quick embrace, giving a secret kiss under his jaw before hopping back up the stairs, looking around with a satisfied smile at all the other boys who still had hints of surprise still lingering on their faces.

Dongwook handed Y/N another microphone with a sweet smile strewn across his pale, pink lips. He has watched Y/N grow so much in the past couple months that he has known him, and he could not be more proud of the boy standing before him.

“Hello, I’m Y/N form Pledis Entertainment!” Y/N bowed to the crowd and the screams of congratulations flooded the entire venue, the applause and relentless cheers making the sapphire lights cast upon them convulse to the noise. “When I lost my voice and went to F, I thought I was a failure… I-I knew I was a failure.” All of the fans yell a chorus of ‘NO!’s back at him, causing a weak chuckle to roll off his tongue and through his quivering lips, “but you all made me feel so loved, so wanted - it’s been such a long time…” He looked at the trainers across the stage, at the trainees still standing on the X below him and to all of the people that he made such beautiful memories with. He wished - more than anything - that he could take all of the boys with him. “Whether it be helping me get my voice back, helping me with dancing, singing, or just being a better person - a better everything.” He looked up and around him, watching with a thin smile, flourishing with the tiny sparks of bliss. “You’ve all treated me so well. In this group, I will repay you with everything I have, and give you the Y/N that will not put your faith in vain. Thank you so much!” Y/N let one last sob rip through his upturned lips before giving the microphone back to Dongwook and sitting down in the chair behind him, the gold ‘X’ never shining brighter, and the blue leather resting under his hands never feeling better - softer.

This was it, this was the start of something new. Something better…

Much better…

These past couple weeks with the eleven boys that have somehow burrowed deeper into his heart have been magnificent, and spending more time with Wooseok has made their connection that much stronger, their love burning even brighter than the days they first got together.

They were laying on his bed in their dorm, the dark grey sheets rippling against their interwoven bodies, and the pale moonlight seeping through the windows, draping against them. Wooseok’s hand was lost in Y/N’s hair, mindlessly threading his fingers between his locks and pressing his lips to the knuckles that he pulled towards him. The haze of pure, untainted bliss surrounded them, strumming the strings of their heart and belting a symphony of admiration that soared gracefully throughout the room, nothing but the warmth of their love and the tranquil silence.

“We have so much time to make up for.” Wooseok wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, the fingers that ran along his hands in a haphazard daze making his grip tighter with every one of their interwoven heartbeats that meandered in the peaceful air hovering around them. He did not want to lose Y/N - the biggest blessing in his life - never again.

“Tell me about it…”

“I missed this too, your skin is so soft, so warm…” Wooseok traced kisses across Y/N’s collar bones, the hums of comfort and pleasure that stirred above him, settling into the gelid air of nightfall coiling their bodies.

“I mean, I have been using this new lotion, and you know Areum from Uni?”

“Yeah-”

“She gave me advice on some face masks and primers, I-” Y/N finally looked up to see the older’s stoic expression and his sarcastically lidded eyes, prepared to roll into his skull at any given moment. “Oh, that… Is not what you meant.”

Y/N tries to stifle a screech into Wooseok’s shoulder as he was heaved up and tackled back into the bed, the older’s smirk searing into the younger’s chest, and their legs intertwining as soon as their gazes interlocked once more, the starlight caught in their stares, new galaxies of wonder forged with every blink. Wooseok buried his nose into the curve of Y/N’s neck, upturned lips seizing supple skin, and a sigh of alleviation seeping further into it.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I meant…” Wooseok’s eyes shone with the sparks of his admiration - ones that never died - the moonlight that bathed his pale skin glossing over his magnetic lips, and entwining with the gentle, brown waves that swathed his forehead. “But it’s like my hands never forgot you, I’m glad.”

“Me too, Seokie…”

Their soft smiles weaved together in a seamless dance of sweltering admiration, hands, and fingers - surging with the warmth of compassion - wandering over skin in cherishing touches. All of the painful memories, harbouring nothing but painful silence and vague, heartless texts, dissipating in the haze of their euphoria, and the mist of twilight settling between the languid pulses of their lips. Blissful embers took flight in the peaceful currents swelling throughout the room, all of the tiny habits that lingered in their minds, and shone under the barren abyss of the night performing under the spotlight of their heavy breaths after so long. Like how Wooseok would always roll them over and have the younger’s precious thighs seize his waist, or how Y/N would edge his teeth into his boyfriend’s lip every once in a while. It was the little things, the shifting of touches, and the feathery kisses that trailed their jawlines, that made them happy.

They both pulled back, lidded eyes - pulled down by the weight of the heavy dusk - and lethargic smiles gracing their features before they drifted off to sleep, Y/N still laying on Wooseok’s chest, and the latter’s nose buried in the head of hair that was still marred by the scorch marks of his delicate touches.

“Oh-” The opening of their bedroom door went unnoticed by the peacefully sleeping boys as Yohan popped his head through the crack he made for himself, the tangle of limbs on the bed casting a bright smile across his lips. “Yep, this ship is definitely sailing.”

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aviewfromtheclouds25 · 5 years ago

Note

Is Aaron’s breakdown meeting your needs? I feel like it’s going the way I want it to and I’m really enjoying it. But seeing other people’s comments, I feel like I’m on my own.

I’m enjoying it. There’s a few of us, so you’re definitely not on your own! I don’t tend to post my thoughts on individual episodes unless there’s something specific I want to pick out, but I’m happy to share them so feel free to message me if you ever feel like you’re watching a different show to the majority of your dash haha.

I’m not sure what it is other people might not be enjoying. Most of the negativity I see is in relation to the Wendy/Luke aspect? And the odd comment on Liv/Chas… But personally I’m loving everything about Aaron’s breakdown and so far it is going exactly as I expected. I mean, we’ve clearly had the slow burner we anticipated with the signs to his unravelling throughout. It’s lasting for months, again as we anticipated. It’s all about Robert. (#WeAreBlessed.) Liv’s already been inadvertently hurt and it’s about to lead to her having another seizure. (And they’ve shown her deterioration to that pretty well, I think, too!) And Aaron’s finally started to lose that sliver of control he had which is what was enabling him to stay in the denial stage and focus solely on his revenge… But when he can’t stay in denial any longer and has to confront his reality, then we get the grief… Which is how we end up at Robert’s car on Thursday! (Yeah, I’m excited!!)

So, here’s why I’m enjoying Aaron’s breakdown so much:

1. Robert and their relationship is obviously at the centre of it. So we may be down half of Robron, but technically it’s still about Robron, you know. #Blessed

2. The Robert mentions! I mean, this just doesn’t happen nowadays. A character leaves and they just go into that void of lost characters who are lucky if they get mentioned once a year frankly. But Robert? Robert’s still all over the place like he’s still a part of the show and that is just so unusual in this era of soap. Which brings me to;

3. It’s actually fundamentally character-driven. Remove Wendy/Luke from the equation, everything we’re getting from Aaron’s perspective is emotionally charged. It’s the characters and their relationship driving it. We live in an age where soap - actually, most television - is, on the whole, incredibly plot-driven and fast-paced. Because the digital world has made the race for TV ratings and the instant gratification which comes from the readily available social media paramount and integral to a show’s success. This is why so much is drama, drama, drama, because they need people tuning in and they need people talking about it. But occasionally, Emmerdale do still take the time to deliver some character-focused stories. And that’s what we’re getting with Aaron. Not only are we getting Robert still being an integral part of the story despite having been written out, we’re also getting nods to Aaron’s history and that consistency with his character. They are not making Aaron just go and do some nonsense to cover up the fact that they’ve forgotten Robert ever existed or just how important he was to Aaron. Because they absolutely haven’t.

4. I just mentioned this one: Aaron’s character. We discussed ages ago that the most effective way to separate Aaron from Robert is to take Aaron in a new direction. That’s what we’re seeing here. However, I also just mentioned how this all ties in with Aaron’s history, too. And that’s what I’m loving with this aspect; the juxtaposition between the two. Past Aaron, and the Aaron he becomes now he’s lost Robert. We know when they were parted in 2017, they both resorted back to being the Aaron and Robert of old. The ones before all that growth they’ve been through together over the years. It used to be their safety net, the only other constant they each knew before they became each others’ anchor. So when that anchor was taken away, they clung onto that safety net. Well Aaron’s anchor has been taken away from him again now. He’s freefalling so he’s grabbed that safety net like he always does, and we have the return of the “chavvy thug” if you will. But there’s an added dimension. And it feels somehow darker. He isn’t just lashing out and reacting to things like he’s always done. He’s calculating, he’s manipulating, and he’s threatening. He’s attempting to intimidate Wendy/Luke. These are all very much Robert’s methods of getting to someone. The difference is Robert prefers to get into someone’s mind, whereas Aaron tends to rely on his physical presence. So we have the Aaron of old, and this Aaron with a slightly different edge merging together. Because let’s not forget this isn’t the Aaron Livesy who first walked into the village, or even Aaron Dingle. This is Aaron Sugden-Dingle. And remember, Sugdens don’t do self-pity. They do revenge.

5. The parallels between Aaron’s breakdown and Robert’s breakdown in 2017. I know I keep talking about them but it really is amazing how similar they are, and I’ll never stop obsessing over the similarities between these two idiots because they really are the perfect match. So we have not being able to sleep; seeing Liam about it but with an ulterior motive; drinking heavily; feeling empty; filling that emptiness with a Plan - an excuse for revenge against the family they blame for losing each other; total apathy to anything other than The Plan; reckless crime; Liv getting hurt when she gets caught up in it; blatant lying; crazy facial expressions masking their dead eyes… And now we’re about to get Aaron’s eventual emotional release when he loses that armour of denial, just like we got with Robert when he finally told himself he had to let go of the hope. I might have missed something, but you get my point haha. The way they grieve over losing each other is so strikingly similar because so, too, is the way they love each other. Because they really are two halves which fit together to make a whole, because they found in each other what they’d always longed for in their lives. Because they had always longed for the same thing.

6. Oh, and Danny’s acting. I assume this is self-explanatory, though. :’)

If I’m honest, I have struggled to really enjoy quite a lot of the storylines and the show in general over the last year, but Aaron’s storyline is not one of them. I am genuinely loving it right now!

#the fictional village now Robertless #can you tell by the length of this ramble that I am genuinely loving it?#haha #sorry I couldn't reply to this sooner though #but you're definitely not on your own :)

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find-the-eyes · 5 years ago

Text

I’ll Try Anything Once, Chapter 49

Written by: Erin, Beth, Sol, Allegra Edited by: Erin, Sol

“Did I tell you we have a party to go to tonight?”

Nick looked up from his textbook and closed it abruptly, glad to have an excuse to abandon his schoolwork. “No...it’s New Year’s Eve, right?”

“Yeah, it is. Someone should get you a calendar,” Alex laughed, “you want to go get ready? We have to be there at nine.”

“Do we have to walk there?”

“I think so. It’ll be a 20 minute walk.”

“... I don’t know if I can…” Nick trailed off with a sigh.

“That doesn’t matter for now. Just get ready, alright?”

Nick nodded, standing up and stretching. Alex smiled at Nick’s slightly-too-small t-shirt riding up over his stomach, exposing a strip of pale skin. Nick noticed Alex’s gaze and playfully smacked his shoulder with a giggle. “D’you think I need to shower?”

“Yeah, sure,” Alex replied. “I could...do you need help?”

“I think I’m good.”

“Oh,” Alex said, his expression falling as he watched Nick retreat down the hall on his crutches. “Are you sure you can stand for that long?”

“I dunno. Maybe? We’ll see,” Nick shrugged. “I’ll just sit if I have to.”

Alex bit his lip as Nick shut the bathroom door behind him. “O-okay.” He slowly returned to the living room, sitting down on the sofa and flipping on the TV. He tried his best to focus on the cooking program that was on, but every time he heard a little sound coming from the bathroom, his attention was diverted. He’s fine. Don’t worry about him. He can take care of himsel-

THUNK!

Alex leapt to his feet and bolted to the bathroom. “Nick?!” He yanked the door open and threw the shower curtain aside to find Nick standing upright, clutching a bottle of shampoo.

Nick gasped and whipped around to stare at Alex. “What?!”

“I…” Alex faltered. “I heard a noise and I- I thought you got hurt-”

“Oh, yeah. Dropped the shampoo. I’m fine.”

“Oh...uh...okay,” Alex said quietly. “Are you sure-”

Nick frowned. “I told you I was fine…”

“Sorry, love,” Alex said quietly. He backed out of the bathroom and shut the door behind him sheepishly.

Alex returned to his spot on the sofa, his heart still pounding and his mind still reeling with worst possible scenarios. He wanted nothing more than to make sure Nick was okay, watch over him at all times, help him with small tasks. But Nick was recovering, and Alex needed to accept that, needed to stop treating everything like a life or death situation.

A short while later, the boys headed out of the flat, fully bundled up to ward off the winter chill. Nick had decided on a red button-down shirt and a pair of sparkly black bell-bottom trousers, while Alex had changed into a pink shirt and black skinny jeans.

As they slowly made their way to the party, Nick’s already shortened breath became even more ragged as he began to recognise his surroundings. It looks like we’re near the… No, it can’t be…

Turning the corner, his eyes confirmed what his brain already knew: it was the abandoned building where he used to live. Bad memories came flooding back momentarily, until he noticed that it didn’t look quite the same as it did before. Whilst it was still clearly derelict, it looked somehow tidier from the outside, as if someone had fixed it up: the front door had been painted a bright blue, and the broken windows had been boarded up with plywood that was painted bright colours.

As Nick paused to examine his old haunt further, he realised that he could hear music coming from inside the building.

“Alex,” Nick looked at his boyfriend with befuddlement, “what is going on?”

Alex beamed. “Surprise,” he said, giving Nick a peck on the cheek. “While you were in the hospital, Paul and Bob and I helped fix the place up. It’s still not perfect, but it’s way nicer than it was before!”

Nick could only stare at the building, his mouth agape. Alex noticed this and began to panic. Oh shit, was this not a good idea?

“Nick, are you ok?” No response. “Nick? What do you think?”

Nick wasn’t sure what to think. Did he really want to venture into a place with so many bad memories?

Nick’s contemplation was interrupted by Alex placing a hand softly on his shoulder.

“I promise it’ll be ok, Nick.” Nick gazed at the taller man, who gave him a reassuring smile. With that, Nick linked one arm with Alex’s and they slowly began to make their way inside.

Nick’s jaw nearly dropped as he saw his former home. The lights inside were bright, broken lightbulbs replaced by warm, yellow light. The walls were painted white with splashes of bright color on the back wall. Fairy lights framed each window, the broken panes replaced with brightly painted plywood.

The once uninhabitable building was now a beautiful space filled with people and upbeat music. It was completely unrecognizable apart from the rafters above them, but even that had been cleaned up and decorated with lights, colourful paint, and tapestries.

“What do you think, Nick?” Nick awoke from his mesmerized state and stared slack-jawed at Alex for a moment before replying.

“I love it.” He barely managed to whisper, still in shock.

Alex, just able to hear Nick’s soft words, carefully wrapped his arms around his wide-eyed love. “Do you want to go sit down? I’ll bring you a hot chocolate?” Nick beamed at these words.

“I’ll be right back, then.” Alex helped Nick into a soft armchair and kissed him on the cheek as he went to find his love a nice, warm drink. Nick continued exploring the room with his eyes. He just couldn’t get over how neat and cosy this former hovel had become.

Nick was jolted out of his trance by a new presence next to him. He looked over, expecting to see Alex with a warm cup of hot cocoa. Instead, he was greeted by a pair of legs swathed in hot pink leopard print leggings. He looked up and saw a bright pink sparkling vest that left little to the imagination, and looking up further still Nick saw a familiar, grinning face.

“Dino?”

“Hi Nick, you look wonderful this evening.” Dino, though as gregarious as ever, wasn’t quite as flirty as he normally was: no lewd comments, no intense stares. Knowing that Nick hadn’t been at his best, Dino knew that now was not the time to hit on Nick; that could wait for another day.

“You seem well! How are you doing?”

“Um, I’m better. Thank you.” Nick smiled at the sparkling man in front of him. Despite what Alex had previously said about him, Nick liked Dino. He was unusual, but friendly, and seemed to genuinely care about Nick's wellbeing.

As the two were chatting, Nick noticed some shuffling in Dino’s vest. Dino, upon noticing Nick’s curiosity, reached inside and pulled out a tan and white rat in a vest that was just as sparkly and pink as Dino’s. Nick gasped at this wondrous sight.

“You remember Peanut, yeah?” Dino proudly showed off his beloved pet.

Nick nodded and grinned as Peanut twitched her little nose and started making her way towards him. She eventually curled up in a ball on his lap.

“She likes you!” Dino beamed with pride, grateful that someone else loved his rat almost as much as he did.

“Thanks for the birthday gift,” Nick said softly, remembering the rat plush he had at home.

“You’re so welcome! I saw the rat plush at IKEA and knew I had to get it for you! Have you named it?”

“Not yet,” Nick laughed, patting Peanut again.

“Maybe Steve? After my rat?”

Nick kept laughing at the prospect of a rat named Steve. “Maybe!” He took the opportunity of a short silence to look up at Dino. Nick never understood why Alex hated him so much — he was always kind and polite, at least to him. Maybe things were different at art school.

As soon as Dino got back to rambling about his new rat playground, a cup of hot cocoa plopped into Nick’s hands. Alex sat down beside him and squeezed his arm gently.

Nick laughed as the warmth from the hot cocoa gently misted his face. “Sure is strange being back here,” he sighed.

“In a good way?”

“Of course! It’s beautiful…” Nick trailed off as he kept looking around the space.

Suddenly, Dino and Peanut scurried off in a pink-vested blur. Alex looked to Nick, confused as to what Dino could be scurrying towards. However, upon approaching the dance floor, Alex saw that Paul was away from the DJ booth.

Upon seeing Dino approaching Paul, Bob froze from behind the DJ booth. Shit. Being left alone to manage the music was difficult enough — but having to watch Paul flirt with Dino, powerless behind giant, clunky headphones?

Bob shook his thoughts away and refocused on the task at hand — making sure that no one at this party got bored of the music choices. There was only an hour left until midnight, after all, and he had to play bangers while not wasting all of the good songs. Despite his focus on his task, he couldn’t stop looking up at Paul and Dino — is Dino flirting? Why is Paul laughing? What the hell is so—

Bob nearly jumped when he felt a tap on his shoulder. “What—” he removed one side of his headphones and looked up at Alex standing behind him.

“I’ve got it. Prince House Rabbit on the decks,” Alex grinned.

“No, seriously— Prince House Rabbit?”

“Just go get your boy, Bob. We can talk about DJ names later.”

Bob took off his headphones and shoved them into Alex’s hands. “Play the Cha Cha Slide. It always does some good crowd control.”

As Bob walked away, he grinned, recognizing the Cha Cha Slide beginning to play over the speakers. He then heard the unmistakable pat pat pat of Nick scrambling to catch up to him on his crutches.

Bob’s smile quickly faded as he saw Paul brushing Dino’s hair out of his face. “Oh, absolutely not,” he muttered, apparently loud enough for Nick to hear over the Cha Cha Slide.

“Are you okay?” Nick gently nudged Bob with his shoulder, not wanting to lose his balance.

“Yeah, I—”

“We can do something else, if you want,” Nick glanced at Bob and then quickly looked away, “get a snack or something?”

Before Bob could even respond, Nick was wobbling off towards the snack table, where it was much less chaotic than close to the DJ booth.

“Dino was so nice to me earlier,” Nick scooped some pretzels onto a small paper plate, “now I know why you all don’t like him.”

“If he’s nice to you, then—”

“He’s flirting with your boyfriend, Bob!”

“We’re not—” Before Bob could finish his response, Nick was already wobbling away to the sofa near the snacks, trying not to drop his plate.

“We’re not dating,” Bob clarified once he met Nick at the sofa with his snacks.

Nick nodded thoughtfully, “then why are you so upset?”

“Because I love him, and I want to date him, but he’s—” Bob sighed, “I don’t think he values me like that.”

“I’m sure he does,” Nick fiddled with a stray piece of thread on the sofa, “he might just not know how to show it.”

“Well, it would sure help if he wasn’t over there flirting with Dino.”

“You’re right,” Nick sighed, wondering if just not talking anymore would be better than possibly hurting Bob’s feelings. He looked over at Alex, who noticed him and made a heart with his hands.

“Do you think we should go get him?” Bob looked over at Paul again. Dino was too close to him, and he didn’t seem to mind. Seemingly, he didn’t notice Bob at all.

“No, we can…” Nick trailed off, realizing just how affectionate Paul and Dino were being. “We can go tell him off later.”

“Wait, Nick--” Bob laughed to himself, “you really used to live here?”

“Yeah, for a few months,” Nick shrugged, “maybe the worst few months of my life.”

“I almost didn’t believe Paul when he told me why we were fixing this place up,” Bob looked around at the elaborate renovation, “you were always just sort of a mystery to me.”

“I lived up there,” Nick looked up towards the rathers, “I’d like to go up there just to see…”

“We can go, if you want,” Bob offered, wanting to get his mind off of Paul and Dino.

“How do we get up there, though? I don’t think I can do the rope ladder yet…” Nick sighed and got up from the sofa, trying to see an alternate way to the rafters.

“We could try the back,” Bob suggested, glancing towards the roped off area past the snack section. “I mean, there has to be a way to get up there back there, you know?”

Nick nodded and slowly made his way towards the roped off area. “Do you know where this goes?”

Bob grabbed a flashlight from one of the cabinets near the snacks. “I thought you would,” Bob hopped over the caution tape blocking off the hall. “Can you clear this?”

“Can try,” Nick clumsily swung over the barrier, nearly slipping in the dust on the floor.

Once Nick was steady, Bob trekked through the hall, blindly leading the way with the nearly-defunct flashlight. The floorboards creaked under his feet, nearly matching the beat of Nelly’s “Hot In Herre” playing from the other room. What the fuck, Alex?

Shaking his thoughts of Alex’s terrible music choice -- he just came over from Greece a few months ago, I should give him a break -- Bob looked over his shoulder to make sure Nick was following him.

“I-I think I should have a break, Bob,” Nick straggled along a few yards behind Bob. He looked around for somewhere to rest, but found that every available surface was coated in a thick layer of dust.

“Just a bit further,” Bob waited for Nick to catch up with him.

Nick, afraid of being left in the dark, scrambled up to Bob and leaned on him. Bob, not wanting Nick to topple over, slid a hand around his waist. “Is that okay?”

“Perfect,” Nick responded, “thanks.”

Bob stayed silent, recalling his day spent with Nick asleep next to him. He didn’t want to admit that they cuddled, but now… now that Paul was off flirting with Dino and he had Nick right here with him…

“... Do you remember cuddling with me, Nick?” Bob asked as they approached a staircase.

“I can’t do stairs yet.”

“But the cuddles, Nick.”

“I know I fell asleep on you a couple weeks ago. I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Bob smiled, “I’m glad I was there for you.”

Nick nodded and broke away from Bob, wobbling towards the stairs on his crutches. “How do I get up there?”

“Try crawling? I’ll— I’ll spot you.”

Nick nodded and got down on his hands and knees. Bob carried Nick’s crutches as he slowly followed him up the stairs, until they reached a door. Bob busted the door open to find a small corridor leading to the rafters.

Bob grabbed Nick’s hand to help him back on his feet, and steadied him on his crutches before continuing into the hallway. Nick’s limbs were sore from crawling up the wooden staircase, but he refused to let the pain show on his face.

“Looks like we’re almost there,” Bob reassured Nick, whose breathing was noticeably heavier. However, Nick was determined to reach their destination without needing a break, and the two of them let the light at the end of the hallway guide them.

Soon the narrow hallway opened up into the large space that was once Nick’s former home, but he hardly recognized it. Two couches and a recliner replaced what used to be a pile of blankets, and strings of lights were wrapped around the newly painted rafters over their heads.

“Oh wow,” Bob broke the silence as they looked around in awe. “It’s so nice and cozy up here.” During the renovation, Bob dedicated his time to painting the walls downstairs and hadn’t gotten a chance to see the rafters until now.

“It didn’t always look like this.” Nice and cozy was the last way Nick would describe this place a few months ago. Paul really did an incredible job renovating the place, even more noticeably so as they approached the couches and spotted a maroon rug on the floor that matched the pillows.

Nick sat himself down on one of the couches, grateful to finally be able to rest, and Bob followed, plopping down next to him on the comfortable cushion.

“Your boyf— I mean— Paul really knows how to fix up a building.” Bob could only respond with a sad laugh, amused with Nick’s caution of referring to Paul as his boyfriend, but also hurt by the reminder that he wasn’t.

The flashy lights from the dancefloor below illuminated their spot, and the booming bass from another awful pop song slightly vibrated the rafters underneath them. Bob smiled at Alex’s continued horrible song choices, but his smile slowly faded when he recognized two figures below them on the dance floor. Bob could spot Paul a mile away, and Dino’s bright pink outfit was hard to miss.

Nick, who had been silently observing Bob from beside him, followed his gaze to the couple. It was uncomfortable for the both of them to watch the way Paul and Dino were pressed against each other, their bodies practically melted together and swaying to the music. Nick felt Bob tense up next to him as Dino then began to lean in until his lips crashed into Paul’s. Bob’s heart immediately sunk, and his stomach churned.

“It makes you sad, doesn’t it?” Nick asked, barely loud enough over the music for Bob to hear.

“More like it breaks my heart.” Bob stared at his hands, afraid to look up and even catch a glimpse of the nightmare unfolding below him.

“I’m sorry.” Nick wasn’t entirely sure what else to say, but he hated seeing Bob so sad. Nick put an arm around Bob’s shoulders as he began to shake and tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Bob knew that he and Paul weren’t a couple, but he still wasn’t entirely sure why. How could Paul say that he loved him, but then sleep with someone else? Did he even mean it?

“Has Alex ever told you that he loves you?”

There was a brief silence as Nick contemplated telling Bob the truth, but he ultimately decided that he trusted Bob and responded with a “yes.”

Bob ignored the slight pang of jealousy stemming from whatever feelings he still had left for Alex. “How do you know that he really means it?” Bob needed to know what true love actually looks like, because he was sure it wasn’t what he was receiving from Paul.

“Well,” Nick started, “he takes care of me. He’s patient with me, and loyal.” Nick had never described Alex like this to someone before, and his heart fluttered as he reflected on the many loving moments they shared. “He makes me feel loved. It’s a feeling, not just words. It’s the way he looks at me.”

Nick’s voice drifted off and Bob wiped his eyes before tilting his head to look at Nick. Nick wasn’t looking directly at Bob, but staring off into the distance somewhere next to his head, his blue eyes sparkling and a small smile tugging at his lips. Bob guessed the look Nick was talking about was the same one in his eyes right now as he described Alex.

Bob confessed his biggest fear, “I don’t think Paul loves me.” Bob looked back to the dancefloor but Paul and Dino were nowhere to be seen, having either shifted out of his sight or gone to another area for more privacy. “He says he does, but how could he do this to me?”

Nick couldn’t even imagine the pain he’d feel if Alex were to ever kiss someone else in front of him. “Maybe you need to talk to him, tell him you don’t want him seeing Dino anymore.”

Bob sighed, “You’re right, it's just hard to get anything out of him sometimes. Relationships confuse him, I think.”

“He does care about you. He looks at you differently.”

“Really?” Bob asked, looking back at Nick who gave him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, like how Alex looks at me.”

Next thing Bob knew, Nick’s face began to lean into his, causing his heart to beat faster. Before Bob could stop him or ask what he was doing, Nick gently pressed his lips against Bob’s cheek. Despite the innocence of the gesture, Bob still felt his face burn, and he missed the feeling of Nick’s soft lips as soon as he pulled away. Bob had forgotten that Nick’s arm was around him until it slipped off as he stood up. “C’mon, let’s not let this ruin your New Years.”

Bob grabbed Nick’s hand to stop him before standing up. “Thank you, Nick.” It felt good getting this off of his chest to someone, and Bob couldn’t imagine a better person to talk to than Nick. Both of them couldn’t seem to stop smiling as they trekked through the corridor, and Bob sensed the beginning of a new friendship.

Nick carefully made his way back down the stairs, and with Bob’s help, the both of them were able to return to the dance floor before midnight. “Let’s see how Alex is holding up,” Bob suggested, locking his eyes on the DJ booth and refusing to let them stray to sights he didn’t want to see.

“Hey, where have you guys been?” Alex asked as they approached him. Nick sensed an annoyance in his stance, but regardless Alex looked grateful to see his boyfriend and his best friend.

“Talking,” was all Bob responded with as he grabbed a nearby stool for Nick and placed it next to Alex’s. When Nick sat down, he caught a glimpse at the time from Alex’s laptop. 11:50.

“What are you thinking of playing at midnight?” Nick asked, peering up at the laptop screen Alex was scrolling on with ravenous intensity.

“You’ll see,” Alex kept scrolling.

Bob leaned against the booth and let his mind wander. He wanted to see Paul and wanted to spend his New Years with him, but he still felt uneasy over the whole situation with Dino. Bob dared to look towards the dance floor for the first time since talking with Nick, and although it was crowded, he was able to spot Paul who was by himself this time, grabbing a drink from the snacks table.

Suddenly, three blonde girls from Alex’s studio art class who were wearing sparkly gold dresses and heels that looked impossible to walk in approached the DJ booth. “Could you play that new Libertines song?” One of them asked.

“After midnight,” Alex sighed, exasperated, adding the song to his endless list of requests.

“And, while I’m here, why haven’t you guys played a gig in so long?”

Alex ignored the question, or couldn’t hear it. This left Nick or Bob to speak up.

“Well…” Nick started, too softly for anyone to hear him.

“Midterms!” Bob interrupted.

“Get back to gigs soon?” The girl inquired.

“Of course.”

“If you see Paul on the floor,” Alex took off his headphones to speak to the girls, “could you tell him to get back to managing his own party?”

The girls walked away, but Paul was already on his way back to the booth. “Well would you look who it is,” Alex said in a bitter tone, “Managed to pull yourself away?” Bob noticed the glare Alex and Nick were giving Paul, and matched it with one of his own. Paul shifted on his feet, obviously uncomfortable.

“Look, I’m sorry I was gone for so long. Can I—”

“No,” Alex interrupted, refusing to give up his spot, “I have a plan. Maybe if you weren’t off with Dino...” Bob almost couldn’t believe how blunt Alex was being by calling out Paul, but he felt a sense of pride. Paul deserved this.

“Can I please be back in charge?”

“After midnight, if you want,” Alex tapped the touchpad. 11:58.

Paul smiled as soon as he heard the song Alex had put on. “Mr Brightside?” He laughed, “I do love The Killers.”

Bob stood up straighter, paying more attention to this song than whatever nonsense Alex was playing before. As the song launched into its chorus, Bob shot a look towards Alex, who gave him a subtle smirk and slightly tilted his head towards Paul.

Feeling a new sense of confidence, Bob rounded the booth to Paul and grabbed his arm, pulling him to the edge of the dance floor.

“Hey,” was all Paul said, and Bob hated that he couldn’t decipher the emotion on his face. Bob felt angry, scared, excited, a whole whirlwind of emotions that almost made him shake. How is Paul not… feeling this?

“What have you been doing all night?” Bob already knew, but he wanted to hear it from Paul, wanted to make him admit it.

Paul couldn’t look Bob in the eyes. “I’ve been with Dino.”

“Why?” Bob responded sharply, running his thumb over his knuckles for support.

“Why not? You can’t put restrictions on me, Bob. We aren’t even officially together.” Bob wanted to hate Paul, but he couldn’t. The lighting of the dance floor cast shadows on Paul’s face that highlighted his best features. He was so beautiful, even when he was breaking Bob’s heart, and Bob just wanted to be his.

“Can’t you-” Bob’s throat closed up on itself before he could finish. Tears threatened to escape his eyes, but he held them back, trying to remain strong for once.

Paul took a step closer to Bob, getting a soft look in his eyes as guilt began to way him down. He hated seeing Bob upset, and being the cause of it crushed him. “Don’t think this means I care any less about you, Bob.” Paul grabbed Bob’s face in his hands. “You mean so much to me.”

“I don’t want you to be with Dino.” Bob managed shakily, pulling away. “I want you to be with me.”

Before Paul could respond, the crowd around them began to collectively count down the minute until the new year. 59, 58, 57...

Bob didn’t want to be here, but he didn’t know where else to go. Paul didn’t love him and Paul didn’t want to be with. He felt humiliated and stupid, and he just wanted to disappear, didn’t want to see the sad look Paul was giving him.

30, 29, 28... Bob looked away from Paul for a moment to catch Alex rushing towards a dark corner towards the back of the room, Nick hobbling on his crutches close behind. Their excitement was obvious from all the way across the room, and for the first time Bob felt happy for them, rather than jealous. After his conversation with Nick, Bob could confirm that there was real and pure love between them.

10, 9, 8... Alex seemed unable to wait any longer as he pulled Nick into a kiss before they both disappeared from sight.

As everyone around them cheered, “3, 2,1, Happy New Year!” Bob looked back at Paul. They stared at each other in silence for a moment despite the celebration surrounding them. Bob waited for Paul to just walk away, go find Dino, to never talk to him again, but instead Paul took a step closer to him. Paul slowly lifted his hand to place on the back of Bob’s head, as if scared he would resist this time too. However, Bob didn’t back away; he couldn’t. His heart hammered wildly in his chest as he waited for Paul’s next move. Paul leaned in slowly, his eyes gravitating to Bob’s mouth and his hand pulling him closer. Bob could feel Paul’s breath against his face as he whispered, “happy new year, Bob,” before connecting their lips. As they stood there, gently pressed together, Bob felt the pain in his heart subside. After a moment, Bob wrapped his arms around Paul’s waist to pull him even closer, feeling almost selfish and wanting the world to know that Paul was his.

Bob didn’t know how much time had passed when they finally broke apart. He pulled Paul into a hug instead and whispered in his ear, “Happy new year, Paul.” It felt good to have Paul this close again, and Bob focused on their matched breathing, prepared to stay like this for the rest of the night.

Shimmering red flashes of light crackled and illuminated the sky above Nick and Alex.

“Pretty,” Nick said, trying not to shiver from the cold. The two boys sat on a concrete ledge they had found along the perimeter of the building, having escaped from the party to observe the fireworks going off from a few blocks down.

“They really are,” Alex responded, pulling Nick slightly closer by his shoulders to keep both of them warm. The sound of another explosion rang in the air before streaks of white light drew lines in the dark sky in all different directions. Every time this happened, Alex could feel Nick flinch slightly, but he didn’t express any concerns, seeming to enjoy the light show more than anything.

The concept of time continuing on without being able to stop terrified Alex, and he often found himself dreading each coming year. In previous years he couldn’t understand how people could celebrate getting older and losing the past, but today he didn’t feel so pessimistic about starting a new year. “What do you think about 2005?”

“It’s been good so far.” Of course Nick’s answer was simple, but Alex appreciated it nonetheless.

“I agree. I’m so happy I get to spend it with you, Nitzki.” Alex found Nick’s hands from his lap and held them in his own as another attempt to keep him warm.

“I think this year will be the best one yet.”

Alex let out a small laugh. “What makes you say that?”

“I have you, now.” Nick looked away from the light show for a moment to speak to Alex. “And Steck.” The mention of their furry companion made them both smile.

“And Bob and Paul,” Alex added.

“Yes, them too. I hope they figure out their relationship.”

“Me too. I really don’t get what Paul��s deal is. Bob doesn’t deserve this,” Alex said, reflecting on the anger he felt towards Paul watching him dance and make out with Dino all night.

“He doesn’t. Bob is a good person.”

“He really is.” The two of them then sat in silence for a while, admiring what they assumed to be the finale of the fireworks show as colorful lights rapidly exploded in the air.

The silence that followed was comfortable. Alex and Nick continued to hold each other in the cold night, and the streaks of smoke lingering in the sky were the only evidence left of the fireworks. A slight sadness fell upon Nick, but he glanced over at Alex again and felt comfort in knowing that not everything beautiful disappeared so quickly.

#we're back!!!!#:)#and please welcome erin to the team!!!!#franz ferdinand #illtryanythingonce

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