#absolute degenerate

[weepingtalecowboy]

If dark can mind control people (black blood and all)

then if he ever decides to possess four because he is the smallest

That poor thing is getting wailed on by four maniacs who are not above friendly fire and murder

Much less resurrection or torture

Dink is gonna be trapped in literally hell

If he isn’t gonna be driven insane by the colors arguing first

[hazyange1s]

salliers meme dump because I’ve seen a lot of these floating around lately (the two of them need to be studied in a lab)

[prettyboy-basement]

. . . searching . . . c o r r u p t e d f i l e . . . cunnilingus.exe (aventurine x ftm!reader)

he had to work fast. otherwise...

"aventurine... i'm getting bored."

your thighs wrapped around his neck, squeezing hard. he choked and patted them.

"h-hey..." he gasped. "i want to breathe..."

"but you're boring me..."

keeping your attention and desire was a hard task, indeed.

as one of the most important assets of the ipc, your pleasure, attention and desire was of utmost importance.

"loser."

"ngh! l-let me just continue..."

he pried your thighs apart and kissed into you, licked into your cunt. his nose bumped gently against your cock, making you huff.

"is that all you can give me?" you threw your head back, sighing loudly. "where's that doctor? he's way better at this."

he resisted a scoff and simply pushed your thighs up to your tummy. "listen. i'll make you feel really good."

"as if." you rolled your eyes. "you can't do jack shit, can you?"

he was about to shoot back, but you grabbed his collar and threw him onto the bed. he barely had to to catch his breath when you firmly sat on his face.

"mmh?!"

"shut up." you ground down on his face hard. "this is what you're supposed to do, right? so take responsibility and do your job, stoneheart. we aren't stopping till i say, got it?"

most of the time, aventurine hated his job.

[respocked]

I am 1. very unserious 2. learning digital art, so here is Julian, Garak and Ziyal at a Marlok Gan concert - and if you don't know who Marlok Gan is, you should probably 1. read my fic where he comes from (https://archiveofourown.org/works/63713482) 2. idk, start stanning immediately?

[prouvaireafterdark]

IWTV fans on Twitter: why are the show’s numbers not great?

Also IWTV fans on Twitter: let’s discuss spoilers for the last two episodes openly without tags and in Twitter spaces so everyone knows exactly what happens

[pleasesetmywagononfire]

It is my belief that we have entirely too many stories about a loser boy getting the girl. My solution to this is loser GIRL gets the girl thank you for coming to my ted talk

[fireflylitsky]

MASSIVE thank you to @moonamayillu for drawing my sweeties SO beautifully, I cannot stop swooning over how pretty this is 😭😍

Flustering this girl is basically Hidan's hobby. He's very good at it.

[servegrilledcheese]

2023 Tumblr Top 10

1. 1,745 notes - Aug 2 2023

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“i’m maxis match” “i’m alpha” yeah well i’m a creep i’m a weirdo

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have any of you barbecued the infants yet

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Created by TumblrTop10

[cilil]

So far I have found that Manwë's role as Lord of Winds/Lord of the Breath of Arda has at least four unique applications in smut:

Never out of breath -> probably no gag reflex either -> gives amazing head

Can't drown -> ideal for water sex as well (looking at you, Ulmo)

Controls air -> breath play possibilities

Lightning -> electrostimulation and immobilizing partners

[salirophiliac]

came back just to say pat mcafee should absolutely go fuck himself

[weepingtalecowboy]

Four has game lol

Fanfic prompt: I just realized that from all of four's ships

His lover is usually

As dark and bitter as a black coffee laced in poison with psychological damage

So obviously he has a Type

Like shadow and Vaati

But it gets more hilarious if you remember that almost all the villains of Hyrule warriors meet the standards

Ghirahim

Volga

Cia

Dark link

Like all the hyrule warriors had to do was drop the hero of the four swords on them and get rid off the biggest problems of the war

And watch him slay (without the s) all the villains

And four's harem of evil demon sorcerers would even get along with eachother

Like getting used by an evil overlord that never was satisfied by anything you do (Vaati and shadow would let Ghirahim and Dark join the club)

Shadow likes dragons

Cia and Vaati can speak about sorcery

And Cia and shadow can speak about how little they respect boundaries

Dark and shadow are both the “evil” side of a hero

Like it is a match made in hell

The fanfic potential and just how weirdly okay four is with this situation

Would make warriors look like a saint

Tune is cringing at this devastating development

Queen Zelda is both weirdly fine and very unsettled by four and his harem

[boxeom]

Thinking about how weird Caleb would be about you having an oral fixation.........

[prettyboy-basement]

. . . searching . . . found ! dumb boytoy (asra x ftm!slime!reader)

"mr. asra! look what saw!"

"mr. asra, who's this?"

"mr. asra you're so smart!"

asra was going to lose it.

he was just going through the forest when muriel just had to dump you into his arms, not knowing what to do with you.

"i don't want to hurt him. you can take care of him."

and in his arms was a young man made out of... jelly? slime?

when he brought him home, he didn't know what he would expect. but as the days went on and went by, he realized you were just so curious and... cute.

"mr. asra are you okay?"

you were squishy... soft…

"mr. asra?"

"...huh?"

"i was asking if you were okay. the water's been boiling for a while now."

he looked down at the kettle and swore softly, taking it off the heat. you giggled quietly, and asra was sure his heart flew.

he poured the two cups and stirred them before setting them at the table.

"you told me you were curious about something?"

"yeah, why do you wear clothes?"

asra nearly dropped his cup and coughed to cover a swear.

"i'm sorry, what?"

"i was wondering why you wear clothing. i mean, it's super restrictive and i was curious how your body looked..."

this wasn't real. asra was still asleep and he was about to wake up rock hard and he'd need to rub one or two out before opening his shop.

...oh who was he kidding, his mind wasn't this creative. this was actually happening.

"um... well, people wear clothing for modesty reasons. we have been taught since we were kids that our body needs to be covered. along with this, the sun can damage us, and such."

"well then what about when we're just at home and the shop is closed up? why do you still wear clothes?"

asra stared at you and crossed one leg over the other. "w-well, it’s important to practice modesty whenever you can so you don't for- hey!"

he hadn't noticed you slide down to his legs until you forcefully uncrossed them. there, you could see the tent.

"what's this, mr. asra?"

his face heated up and he looked away. well you were curious. "...that is my dick."

"why's it pointing up like this?"

"because... i am currently aroused."

"...what does that mean?"

"it means that my sexual desire is higher than normal-nh!"

you slid your hand over his tent, and asra quickly grabbed your wrist. he panted softly and thought offhandedly how it would feel around his cock.

"goodness, dear, you cannot just do that..."

"oh! sorry, mr. asra!"

"it's alright... quite alright..." you were so curious about it and surely you wanted to see it, right? "...would you like to see what it looks like?"

"you'll let me see?"

"only if you wish to."

you nodded your head quickly and asra swore under his breath. he lifted his hips and pulled his pants and boxers down to his knee, let his cock bob out. you eyes widened at the sight.

"woah..."

he wrapped a hand around your head. "you can touch it if you like.”

you reached up and touched his cock softly, focusing on the tip. his breath hitched, it felt like something he tested some time back, with a fake cunt.

"are you okay, mr. asra?"

"mhmm... it feels... so good..."

you slowly wrapped you hand around it and stroked him gently. his precome leaked onto and then into your hand and you pulled it away to watch it.

"wow... what's this?"

"ah... hah... it's precome... it's something that comes out while i'm relieving myself of my arousal before i come."

"what does that look like?"

he stared at you before pushing his hair back. he huffed out a laugh, and pulled you up into his lap. "you really want to see?"

"mhmm! mhm!"

"alright. hold on tight."

he lfited you up and pushed his cock into you. he wasn't sure which hole he pushed into, if he did even push into one, but be didn't even care.

you felt amazing.

"ohh... oh fuck, darling... you feel..."

"uhnn... w-woah... look at it!"

he looked down and he could see his cock inside of you. well now, he couldn't pass this up. he held onto your hips and thrust upwards, pounding away at your hole, making you gasp and hiccup, clearly surprised at the sudden action.

you whined and held onto his arms, throwing your head back as you moaned out into the shop.

"god, how'd i get- ah- so da-amn lucky- fuck!"

he felt you squirt around him and he looked down, seeing the odd colored liquid drip down onto the chairr.

"holy fuck- ah!"

he held you close and came inside of you. you both sat there for a few moments afterwards, and he looked down once more, seeing his cum pooled inside of you.

"oh... oh wow... what was that, mr. asra?"

"that... was sex. people who love each other very much have sex."

you sat up and watched his face. "do you love me?"

he chuckled and nodded. "very much so, my dear."

you wrapped your arms around him and swished your hips, making him choke.

"i love you too mr. asra! let's live together forever!"

he held your hips. "yes. let's."

[crippled-peeper]

Also 7 inches is going to cause a little pain regardless so no shit??? -Someone with spinal and nerve damage

ur saying all those words but I don’t think you actually know what a spinal cord injury is

[julysn]

blinked and the unwind fandom is suddenly thriving. HI. HELLO GUYS okay drop headcanons let me hear them idk

[losthavenmine]

Rough Magic (1995) for @bonojour