#absolute batshit time we live in right now

[terriblygrimm]

i literally cannot believe what i just read

..failed to settle a legal dispute over whether state abortion bans OVERRIDE a federal law requiring hospitals to provide stabilizing treatment

what the everloving fuck is happening in this country rn

the supreme court, the highest ‘justice’ in america is legitimately trying and FAILING to figure out whether hospitals are required to give patients stabilizing treatment?????? they’re trying to figure the legitimacy of (i.e. find a loophole around) federal law??? are you joking???? it’s like a bunch of elementary school kids are being quizzed on a book (the constitution) they just read!!! what kind of jacked up backwards timeline are we living in right now???? this is honest to god my last straw

please, please vote.

it’s absolute pathetic baby steps, and unfortunately this is where we are right now as a human race (for some strange unfathomable fucking reason) but at least if you vote blue you’ll be able to live another day. doctors and hospitals won’t be outright hijacked by politics and you can go to the hospital without fear of literally dying in a place that’s supposed to save your life.

Biden administration tells doctors they must provide emergency abortions | AP News

The Biden administration told emergency room doctors they must perform emergency abortions when necessary to save a pregnant woman’s health, following last week’s Supreme Court ruling that failed to settle a legal dispute over whether state abortion bans override a federal law requiring hospitals to provide stabilizing treatment.

In a letter being sent Tuesday to doctor and hospital associations, Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra and Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services Director Chiquita Brooks-LaSure reminded hospitals of their legal duty to offer stabilizing treatment, which could include abortions. A copy of the letter was obtained by The Associated Press.

“No pregnant woman or her family should have to even begin to worry that she could be denied the treatment she needs to stabilize her emergency medical condition in the emergency room,” the letter said.

[dwaekkicidal]

thoughts on owner channie w puppy seungmin & kitty reader w owner lino  >ᴗ<?

the way i started pacing my room after reading this and waiting for my computer to turn on so i could write something LMFAO-

also u must be in my walls or something because ive been going batshit crazy over hybrids lately but i havent told anybody? get out of my head???

do NAWT ask me how this has 1.4k words... i will not explain myself.

nsfw below the cut» x reader mainly but mxm at the very end

anywhoooo.... onwards!

so lets just say that we have owner!channie who doesn't know what to do when his puppy!seungmin becomes a brat all of a sudden. he's growling at every male hybrid he looks at, not listening when channie tells him to do something, and even humping + cumming on a pillow or two (definitely more than that but channie doesn't have to know that)

and then he's meeting up with his best friend, kitty-owner!lino, who mocks his best friend for not being able to prove himself as the "head dog of the house"

he keeps up this teasing up until channie describes a few more behaviors that rings alarms in lino's head and he realizes that his friend's stupid mutt is just going into heat!! and lil ol' channie didn't think that far ahead so he's absolutely not prepared to deal with his puppy's first heat alone

but then lino reminds him that he has a pretty, well-behaved kitty sitting at home with no mate and her own heat on its way soon~ so they agree to have them meet and plan everything out

the first time you meet, seungmin is absolutely losing his shit >< he can smell you before he sees you and you just so smell so. sweet. his heat makes the smell a million times worse and he just wants to eat you alive. more figuratively than literally but he doesn't think he would mind taking a chomp or two-

and channie is absolutely mind-boggled that the stupid brat he's been dealing with all week is suddenly being good, all thanks to the mere presence of another hybrid.

little does he know it's only thanks to how hard seungmin is biting his cheek so that he doesn't bend you over right here, right now in the middle of this park where everybody would see

after that they move fast, thanks to seungmin's heat starting early, and lino prepares you as much as he can before helping you settle into channie's guest room

channie even put a mini fridge in there- filled it to the brim with both of your favorite drinks+water, put a huge stack of blankets and spare clothes on top of the dresser, and filled a few dresser drawers to the brim with snacks

channie took the week off of work while lino opted to "work from home" and they stayed close by, camping out in the living room together and "reluctantly" listening closely so they could hear any possible calls for help from either of you

but no matter how much preparation they made, they were not in the slightest prepared for how almost feral seungmin became

the first few hours were the most unbearable, it was hard for you to get used to this stupid, insatiable mutt and his unnecessarily big knot. but you did get used to it eventually!

it only took multiple rounds and your poor cunt getting overfilled with his cum, much to his dismay. it only made him angry and pushed him to fuck into you even harder as he whined and complained about how you "need to take it better" so he could fuck a litter or two into you.

& both men could hear the growling as well as the plap plap plap of seungmin's balls hitting your poor, abused cunt >< your moans and cries bleeding through the walls to the point where channie thought for a second he would get the cops called on him for a noise complaint

but he stopped worrying about that when the few seconds of silence were disrupted by even more sobs and begs for seungmin to give you his pups!

though, minnie took such good care of you after each round!! he made sure you drank enough water and was good on snacks until lino came in with the bigger meals for both of you. but, that was all thrown out the window when he found himself rock hard, yet again.

he just couldn't hold himself back from folding you into every position he could think of that would keep you below him, at his mercy, and keep your pretty, puffy pussy ready for him at all times

channie felt like it was constant. like the two of you had spent every minute of those days drooling over each other and fucking each other's brains out.

which to some degree was true... neither of you could deny that, but you both still got... occasional breaks! they may or may not have been short-lived before seungmin was ready to go again, but nobody needs to know that!

all that your owners needed to know was that, by the time seungmin's heat was over, you were well bred and he felt like himself again!

but- oh! would you look at that? your owners came in to help you guys clean up after the fact, but it appears that seungmin managed to trigger your heat... but not to worry! he is very keen on repaying you for your help and is already shoving his cock into you before lino can even get out the door~

so,, maybe you guys weren't exactly done yet.

bonus;

puppy!seungmin realizing he had a lot of fun misbehaving during his heat so, now that you and him are well acquainted and hang out multiple times throughout the week, he goes out of his way to make his owner's life miserable~

fucks you into every surface he can think of: the dining table, the kitchen counters, the bathroom sink, the bathtub/shower, the coffee table, the couch, against the windows, in the middle of the hallway, channie's desk...

channie's bed

& seungmin always makes sure you make the biggest mess possible so that he can see the veins on channie's neck pops out when he blames it on his "instincts"

it pushes ALL of channie's buttons. not only does he have to clean up the insane amounts of cum all around his place, but he also has to smell sex literally everywhere all while he "can't" get his dick wet :((

so i bring you: owner!lino who lets owner!channie fuck you, his eager kitty, into the mattress all the while puppy!seungmin is all but tied to a chair.

lino watches over him and makes sure that he doesn't touch himself, cum, or even look away from the bed, for that matter

double bonus; mxm continuation of ^

lino's got his big, veiny hands jerking minnie off only to pull away and leave him leaking when he almost cums for the nth time :((

& channie's never subjected him to anything like this before so he caves a lot sooner than any of them thought; tears prickling his pretty boba eyes and his cock an angry red as it twitches with each apology that comes out of his lips

but.. oh! their pretty kitty is too tired to go another round? 'oh im sorry minnie.' poor pup. 'what will we do with you now?'

it doesn't take long for channie to fold. he loves his puppy and he would do anything to make those stupid tears go away- even if that means splitting him in half on his cock <3

he'd always thought about fucking his pretty mutt, but never thought it was on the table until those big, begging puppy dog eyes stared up at him all watery and his puppy was sitting there begging him to help him :(

he can't help himself when he lays down and lets seungmin have his way with his cock! but then all of a sudden lino joins in- letting his kitty take a nap and rest while he slides a hand around seungmin's waist and the other in his hair

he controls his hip movements like this and snaps at channie when he tries to tell minho to 'just let him do what he wants.'

no. no. no. absolutely not. 'stupid pup needs to learn his lesson.'

lino makes them change positions so that they can eiffel tower him; lino fucking his throat raw while channie's dicking him down hard enough to make the boy feel him in his tummy <3

& he's making the biggest mess all over the sheets!! a mixture of drool and precum soaking dark spots into channie's previously clean sheets, the realization making something in channie snap hehe

yea. im sick in the head over this. thank u anon i love you so much

[etz-ashashiyot]

You know how sometimes arguing a point is losing?

Like if you engage the argument at all you are inherently putting up for debate things that should never be up for debate and the argument itself is degrading?

You see this with interpersonal gaslighting:

A gaslighter doesn’t simply need to be right. They also need for you to believe that they are right. In stage one, you know that they’re being ridiculous, but you argue anyways. You argue for hours, without resolution. You argue over things that shouldn’t be up for debate  – your feelings, your opinions, your experience of the world. You argue because you need to be right, you need to be understood, or you need to get their approval. In stage one, you still believe yourself, but you also unwittingly put that belief up for debate. In stage two, you consider your gaslighter’s point of view first and try desperately to get them to see your point of view as well. You continue to engage because you’re afraid of what their perspective of you says about you. Winning the argument now has one objective :  proving that you’re still good, kind, and worthwhile. In stage three, when you’re hurt, you first ask, “What’s wrong with me?” You consider their point of view as normal. You start to lose your ability to make your own judgements. You become consumed with understanding them and seeing their perspective. You live with and obsess over every criticism, trying to solve it.

[Source]

But you also see this on a broader societal level, with people asking unfathomably awful questions about minority groups, such as:

[Source]

It should go without saying, but no group of people should be forced to explain that yes, they really are real people, dickheads. The question doesn't deserve an answer; it deserves at best a disgusted eyeroll + "Are you a Nazi?" and at worst a punch to the face.

There is also the related phenomenon of the "when did you stop beating your wife?" type questions. The question is framed as a yes or no question, but the real answer for the innocent is: "I've never beaten my wife and never would." But even that answer still dignifies the question with a real response and puts the idea in the mind of the listener that hey maybe that's a real possibility and this guy is lying because of course he wouldn't just admit that. Now I don't know what to believe, but I'm skeptical.

Even if he answers, doubt has been cast on his character and many people (maybe even most people) neither have the attention span to listen to his full counter argument and supporting evidence nor are invested enough in strangers' lives to take the time to dig for facts on their own. Critically, it comes from a good impulse that shouldn't be repressed or taken too far in the opposite direction; namely, that we want to believe survivors and make it socially acceptable to speak out about abuse.

This leaves us with the uncomfortable reality that balancing believing survivors and whistle-blowers against not automatically believing allegations that very well may be false and/or in bad faith is a very tricky balancing act indeed. Because of this, people tend to struggle with taking survivors seriously and with presuming innocence until guilt has actually been proven, both. And as for the latter, this is at least partially due to the same psychological factors underlying the Don't Think of an Elephant problem.

Why am I discussing this?

See the thing is that these types of discourse have all been used, heavily, against the Jewish community, especially since Oct 7th, but really going back hundreds of years.

If you want to be our ally, you need to be on guard for how people use this rhetoric to accuse Jews of absolutely batshit cookoo bananas allegations (like being lizard people or having horns, or secretly running the world, or killing Christian babies to use their blood in our matzah, etc. etc.) and get away with it. Now obviously if so many people weren't already racist towards Jews as a people and had a vested interest in maintaining their supercessionist cultural worldview from Christianity and Islam, it would be a lot harder for this to work. Alas, the past 2000 years has created a bit of a snowballing effect.

This culminates in the effect described so well by Sartre:

Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

— Jean-Paul Sartre

Right now, Jews are facing extreme levels of these types of rhetorical abuse, and are receiving very little help in the way of pushback.

We have to stop trying to explain ourselves and start just naming these tactics instead.

[flying-fangirls]

As a music, religion, and literature nerd, the Dies Irae has been one of my favorite go-to pieces of trivia for a long time, which means that this line:

Has been driving me batshit BONKERS since part 42! And also as a semi-professional media analysis yapper, I figured I might as well dive into the exact reasons I jumped up and audibly gasped upon first hearing this line and have subsequently lost my mind since then. So!

Here is why I think that the Dies Irae is the perfect analogy for John and Arthur:

Religion

Let's start with the most straightforward meaning: "Dies Irae" is a Latin term, and it translates to the "Day of Wrath." Or otherwise known as the Judgement Day, the foretold second coming in Catholic canon, when Christ will "come again in glory to judge the living and the dead." It's at this Last Judgement where God will wield perfect justice to send the worthy to everlasting peace and the unworthy to everlasting punishment. (everyone say "thank you" to excessive childhood Catholic lessons for burning this into my brain)

There's a kind of irony to the fact that Arthur so vehemently rejects Christianity and religion as a whole, and that John spends much of his arc trying to distance himself from the role/identity of a god, yet both are given this incredibly religious title, effectively restricting them from ever forgetting the presence/influence of religion in their lives.

This title has a couple layers though, because we have to consider why it's the Day of Wrath specifically that represents Arthur and John. Now, I don't think I have to tell you that those two are bursting with anger 80% of the time. But I am going to tell you that those two are not just angry, but moreso "divine fury" incarnate.

The Day of Wrath, the Final Judgment, is the final and eternal judgment of God on all: "For now before the Judge severe / all hidden things must plain appear; / no crime can pass unpunished here." (Dies Irae, Dies Illa). The final Judge, the all-powerful God, can see the objective morality of every single person, and is thus the sole, rightful determiner of fate.

This assumption of their right to perfectly and single-handedly decide others' worthiness shows up over and over, not just John and Arthur's actions, but also in how they describe these judgments.

When Arthur kills the widow on the island, it's not because she was dangerous, but because she was a cultist who "deserved" to be punished.

When John and Arthur need to get rid of Mr. Scratch's stone, John says they should give it to "criminals" who are "deserving of this curse." Even though, just moments before, Arthur refused to give the stone to Oscar because to do so would be to cursing him to a fate of eternal suffering.

And I can't go into every single detail about the entire Larson plotline because this post would double in size, but it obviously needs to be included here. Possibly the strongest tie between this arc and the idea of the Dies Irae is Arthur's conviction through it all. Arthur vows that he is going to kill Larson in divine retribution not because he wants to, but because he has to. He even goes so far as to admit that killing Larson will be a mistake, a cruel and overly-bloodthirsty action that goes against his compassion. But killing Larson isn't a choice to Arthur, it is the unavoidable punishment for Larson's sins and Arthur is simply the enactor of justice. Just like the Final Judgment, there is no sympathy, no hesitancy— the judgment is absolute, divinely ordained, and cannot be stopped no matter how undeniably horrific it is.

If we look at the Catholic Catechism, principle 2302 states that it is sinful to kill out of desire, but that it is "praiseworthy to impose restitution" and use violence to "maintain justic." So even if Arthur has intent to kill, his actions count as divinely sanctioned. He is acting as the hand of God's punishment.

Over the course of Season 3 and 4, Arthur's fiery rage dies down to a more gentle simmer, but his conviction only seems to grow, and John follows suit. Despite previously reprimanding Arthur for his unquestioning wrath, John eventually becomes just as convinced that Larson "deserves" to face a wrathful reckoning. The "fact" that Larson is wholly unforgivable and is fated to receive eternal punishment becomes more indisputable in their minds, and they both stop questioning the morality of their intentions, entirely convinced of their judgment.

Throughout the story, Arthur and John insist upon the importance of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, and say that these are the values that guide their every action. Yet, time and time again, they approach certain people with nothing but wrath and resentment. It's a sharp contrast to the benevolent figures they make themselves out to be, and Arthur and John are often blind to the contradiction because, in their eyes, they are still following those values in every action. And in the moments when they do recognize their horrific words or actions, they still cannot let their judgment go, convinced that it is their "duty" either way.

In Part 35, Arthur says "Just because you can't make the hard decision, doesn't mean it's wrong." This is exactly how John and Arthur view themselves. They know that some of their actions are harsh and violent and painful, but they are don't view that violence as wrong, because they are enacting that violence in justice. They move through life with carefully-selected destruction, culling the world of those they view as unforgivable sinners, and punishing them with divine righteousness. Arthur and John carry righteous fury in their every step, bringing the Day of Wrath down upon the world around them.

Now, there's already a ton of meaning just in this religious allusion alone. However, there's another application of the Dies Irae in modern culture, which brings us to the second side of this title:

Music

Back in the 13th century (sounds like a familiar setting...), friar Thomas of Celano wrote a poem for and about the Dies Irae. The poem was recited at Requiem Mass (church services to honor the dead), and it ended up being set to a Gregorian chant tune.

Over time, this melody has been used by a variety of composers, but the one we're focused on is Hector Berlioz. In 1837, Berlioz used the Dies Irae melody as part of his narrative symphony, Grand Messe de morts, in order to communicate that the main character had died. Then a lot of other composers saw that and said "Hey that's a cool idea!", and started also using this melody to represent death in their music. Nowadays, it's a fairly staple part of modern film and musical storytelling. If you've listened to literally any major soundtrack, then there's a good chance you've heard this motif (or a variation of it) used before. It's often subtle, sometimes loud and obvious, but no matter what, it reveals the inevitable presence of death. (essentially, the Dies Irae=death)

Now, obviously there's something tragically ironic about Arthur being likened to a musical motif when he tries so hard to distance himself from it, and there's something tragically ironic about John being associated with such a dark piece of music when he shows so much fascination and joy toward the art. Again, though, we've got some layers here. Yorick doesn't just compare Arthur and John to the Dies Irae, he literally defines them as the Dies Irae, a full embodiment of it.

Even before the story started, Arthur lost both of his parents, his friend and wife, his daughter, and his best friend.

John, when he was part of the King in Yellow, knew only how to harm and attack. In the Dark World, he falls back on this fearful lashing out with violence, harming even more people.

And throughout the story, John and Arthur seem to bring devastation to everyone else around them: Lilly the buopoth, Oscar, Noel, Collins, Daniel, Larson and Yellow.

The arrival of Dies Irae musical motif in a film always indicates that death is approaching or that is has already struck— a host carrying its blight to spread onto others. Just like the musical motif, the arrival of Arthur and John foretells the near-arrival of death. They play a duet together— John and Arthur, and death— always singing and dancing around and with each other.

These two never succumb to death, always finding a way to slip through its fingers and survive every situation. But they cannot escape death's presence because they are death's partner— singing the melody to death's subtle harmony. They cannot escape death because they are its host— destined to carry and spread devastation to death's victims. From the moment you meet John and Arthur, you know that death is inevitably approaching just a step behind, waiting to strike you down.

Whether it's the religious or musical side, we can see that John and Arthur are the literal embodiment of these allusions. They carry these powers and ideas in their every action and word, in their every step, in their very breath and blood.

Arthur and John. The hands of God's justice. The enactors of divine fury.

Arthur and John. The hosts of blight and destruction. The partner of death's song.

The man himself. The voice inside his head.

The Day of Wrath. The Dies Irae.

[crag-dreams]

It’s the Saturday before Election Day 2024 here in the US, and stress/anxiety/fear/etc… is pretty high for a lot of people. That’s warranted, because another 4 years of Trump/GOP rule will harm so many people. You should do whatever you need to manage the next few days (including voting if you haven’t already), but I really want to encourage you to stop giving polls and “close race” media coverage much / any of your time or consideration.

Polling processes are wildly obsolete for how Millennial and Gen Z voters act compared to Gen X and Boomers (this is not a dig at these generations, just a factual observation). Polls are also easily manipulated to return a desired result, and the people running polls have a vested interest in getting your engagement. Keeping the results tight keeps eyeballs on them.

Similarly, the 24/7 media environment needs you constantly on edge and worried so you keep checking in and listening. They have no interest in a boring election or landslide victory. The majority of journalists have not risen to address this moment with the deliberate, in-depth reporting that we need. It’s far easier to throw together click-bait headlines to pump their numbers. It’s why they spend days covering the tiniest slip by Harris/Walz (and previously, Biden) while giving Trump/Vance a pass on every insane thing they say. Trump is *incredible* for news companies. He is so outrageous that their headlines write themselves, and as long as they don’t follow-up to truly report on him in a way that would end any other politician, they have unlimited content. Whatever you think about Biden, just remember: a single debate performance that wasn’t great was seized upon by the media (because it made for great engagement) and ended his candidacy. Trump can say the most batshit things (they’re eating the dogs!), and they minimize it at every opportunity, because he is good for them. They are sacrificing their journalistic integrity and responsibility at the expense of real people’s lives and rights.

So, what do we do if polls and most news coverage isn’t useful? Remember:

Trump lost the 2020 election. The Electoral College is the only reason it was even close. People were fed up then, and they are even more fed up now.

Roe was overturned by an activist Supreme Court that Trump is responsible for. In virtually every state-level election since then, the results have been outstandingly positive for Democrats, including in the Deep South™. This is why so many GOP politicians have stopped talking about abortion, even going so far as to remove their position from their websites, or directly contradicting themselves when asked about it. The only person making a decision about a woman’s body should be that woman, and these predominantly white dudes still don’t realize how badly they fucked up.

The majority of Trump’s former Cabinet and senior leadership have very publicly turned on him. While it would have been nice for them to do this earlier, it’s unprecedented to see so many prominent Republicans declare they will not vote for him. This doesn’t impact the hardcore MAGA crowd, but it absolutely speaks to more centrist Republican voters.

Trump has been convicted of sexual assault, and he is an adjudicated rapist. He’s been convicted of 34 felony indictments, with more to potentially come. Even though it seems like he never suffers consequences for these legal issues, it costs him voters. People who could justify supporting him before are finally reaching a limit, even if they don’t publicly admit it. (Some do!)

Also, more and more people who voted for Trump in 2016 and 2020 are willing to publicly admit they are tired of him and can’t do it again. His rallies are smaller and smaller, the crowds are less engaged, and, yes, people leave during his rambling rants more and more often.

Gen Z is getting to vote for the first time at any real scale. Say what you will about TikTok and other platforms, but they are more informed and showing up and caring about issues that didn’t move the needle for Gen X or Boomers. Remember the Access Hollywood, grab ‘em by the pussy, tape? That should have ended his original campaign, but it didn’t. Gen Z has found out about that, and it’s just one of so many things driving them to get out and vote. The turnout is going to be incredible.

Because we still use the stupid Electoral College, this election largely comes down to swing states. The Trump campaign has done almost everything imaginable to lose those voters. Whether it’s bashing unions (Trump said a child could do the same job as automotive workers building cars, he bragged about not paying overtime, etc…), immigrants (they’re eating the dogs, GOP-led states demonizing them), Puerto Ricans (calling their home a floating pile of garbage, Trump denying hurricane relief for almost two years), or women (abortion, telling women they should vote how their husband wants them to, Vance thinking their purpose is nothing more than baby-making, stay-home, wait-on-a-man’s every need), they are losing the swing states.

Elections are *incredibly secure and trustworthy.* The Trump/GOP camp has attacked this at every opportunity with virtually no success. The few instances of voter fraud we’ve seen in the last few years are almost entirely from Republicans. They have already started the narrative that the election is rigged if Trump loses. This narrative will only increase as results start to roll in on Tuesday. Don’t even worry about it. They will lose every / almost every single lawsuit they try to bring. It will have no impact on the eventual outcome.

Early voting, including absentee and mail-in ballots, turnout is incredibly encouraging. The higher the turnout, the better, and people are showing up. There’s fatigue and embarrassment on the GOP side (you’re gonna eventually hear from those voters that they stayed home, voted for Harris, etc…), and there’s excitement and motivation on the Dem side.

Are there reasons to be worried? Of course. The Trump campaign is going to try and obstruct the voting process in every way they can. They’re blocking poll monitors in Texas and Florida. Drop boxes in some states have been attacked. Voter rolls have been illegally purged. They’re bringing lawsuits (most of which they’ve already lost) even before Election Day. They’re going to claim fraud. They’ll probably incite violence again.

These are the actions of a desperate campaign that isn’t trying to actually win, because they know they’ve already lost.

So, we can acknowledge our stress, anxiety, and fear, but we don’t have to let it ruin the next few days. Get outside and enjoy (hopefully) beautiful Fall weather. Snuggle your pets. Listen to your favorite albums. Read a great book. Hang out with your people. Vote.

We’re a few days away from a massive weight being lifted from our shoulders. Don’t let it weigh you down until then.

[baejax-the-great]

Absolutely reeling.

So I knew that the origin of "Hector was a great man, moral, noble, better than all of the Greeks" began as Roman propaganda that somehow has made it to now, the year 2023, and is still taught to high school students.

What I did not know was why scholars shit on Achilles as vehemently as they did (and still do).

My copy of Fagles' translation of the Iliad has a preface by a different scholar who I'm not going to bother to name because he's an idiot (and idk probably dead at this point). I read the entire thing, absolutely baffled, because he would cite a part of the text (that I admittedly had not read yet! at all!), quote it, and then come to the most batshit interpretation based on that quote I had ever seen in my life. His general take was that Achilles was a sociopath who had no feelings for anyone other than himself and his own pride, and every action he took (until welcoming Priam into his hut) was done in service of that pride. To support this, he decided that Achilles did not see Patroclus as a person, but rather as an extension of himself, and thus someone injuring Patroclus was them injuring Achilles, and so he did not care about Patroclus, he only cared about his wounded pride.

Yeah.

That sounded wrong before reading the book, and while reading the book all i could think was, "Did we read the same fucking thing???" Put in context, those quotations still did not support his conclusions whatsoever.

But i cracked open Caroline Alexander's "The War That Killed Achilles" last night, and she solves this mystery of "Hector good, Achilles bad" for me right out the gate (which is good because so far I've only read the preface).

Western Europeans by and large learned about the Trojan war from Roman stories, which became fairly popular, and not the Iliad, which was not translated into French or English until centuries later. As mentioned, these were propaganda that cast the Trojans in a much better light than the Greeks because the Romans believed they were descended from Trojan refugees. This starts a trend that is still going on in scholarly circles as casting the Iliad as a war between "barbaric Greeks living in a shitty, lawless camp" vs "civilized, educated, weaving, real-wife-having Trojans," making the Iliad a tragedy in which Homer for some reason skewers his own people and their warlike culture as barbaric while propping up a dead, foreign city-state. This interpretation is still extant and was the postscript to another copy of the Iliad I have.

According to Alexander, scholars closer to Homer's time saw the entire war as a tragedy--both the destruction of Troy AND the destruction of the Greek army. While this is not covered in the Iliad, very few Greeks actually made it home after Troy. Some that did were then outcast (Teucer for example), some were murdered (bye, Agamemnon), some went on to create new kingdoms in other places (Diomedes), but by and large, there was no going home from that war. There was no great victory with all their loot. The entire thing was a disaster for both sides, spurred on by fickle gods.

Back to the more recent European interpretations of this story, one reason Hector ended up cast in such a "good" light, despite being a dumbass who wants to dishonor dead people just as badly as Achilles ever did, was in order to make Achilles look worse. Why was it important that Achilles becomes a villain in this story in which he is very much not a villain? Because Europeans were involved in so much war with each other and the rest of the world that a young, insubordinate man who criticizes his idiot of a commander, decides his life isn't worth throwing away for this war, and refuses to fight to sack a city was an affront to their values. Young men were to be obedient, follow their commanding officers, and colonize the world for queen and country. Achilles suggesting losing his life is not worth it to prop up Agamemnon's war is a dangerous precedent for all the good little soldiers needed to make their nations wealthy.

It's almost funny that these analyses propping up Troy as a beacon of civilization were made by people living in countries so bent on colonizing the world. They identified with the city being sacked and not the greedy sackers of said city, who they were much closer to. And Achilles, educated, morally rigid, emotional Achilles, is recast as a sociopathic asshole who doesn't care about anyone other than himself, unlike all of those other beacons of selflessness among the Greek leadership.

The tragedy of the Iliad is that Achilles is right, the war is pointless, Agamemnon did dishonor the shit out of him, and it doesn't matter because he's going to die in it anyway.

Frankly, given how badly his character has been interpreted for so long, I think the muses owe him an apology.

[graceofagodswrath]

Ok ok ok your "Humans of Transformers franchise are space orcs" rant is out of this world.

I detest with passion when humans are reduced to pets and plot devices when instead the story could be about two alien species finding one another equally amazing/terrifying for their own respective reasons.

Here is my question: do humans and Cybertronians see how eerily similar they are? They have love of music, familial relationships, similar urban infrastructure, societal structure, financial systems, competitive entertainment, organized societies and war, colonialism, recreational intercourse, marriage...

Not to mention, why was it never addressed how similar both species look: bipedal, waists, noses, cheekbones, 5 fingers, chins, facial expressions and sense of aesthetics and beauty? Sure, humans have hair but in rather strategic places.

Veins and wires, blood and energon, metal and flesh, nanobytes and blood cells, Sparks and brain impulses, sexual organs...

Imagine Autobots arrive on Earth for the first time expecting some primitive cave-dwellers, only to encounter a less advanced mini-version of Cybertronian cities (New York, Singapore, London, Rome, Tokyo, Rio, Dubai...) and societies running on scientific, artistic and philosophical development which has no right existing on the ruthless, all-organic planet such as Earth is. Societes run by creatures who 4.000.000 (the duration of their war) years ago were hanging from the trees btw.

Autobots would be terrified.

Lemme make sure this response saves this time, cause it took me a minute to answer cause my first deleted and I had so much written I got unbelievably angry and refused to even look at the tumblr app.

But here we are.

So, this is EXACTLY what I have been thinking about for who k owe how long. It’s also the intro to this wack as fuck universe idea I’ve had in my head a while, and have kinda hinted at in my other works, but I’ve never gone into detail about.

And I still won’t.

Anyways, yes. It’s crazy that we backlit humans so much when any other sentient species is about. Transformers, TMNT, etc (I’m on a one track mind, feel free to jot down any other fandoms I can’t think of). The main theme of these stories? HUMANS SUCK. And that is severely unfair. People want to cry about how much our generation doesn’t give a shit anymore. Have you SEEN the media we feed kids???

That’s why I live Humans are Space Orcs so much. It really puts into perspective how unique and batshit our species is.

So, onto the Transformers vs humans concepts. The ONLY reason (forgoing technoism and general hate towards organics) cybertronians don’t see humanity as an imminent threat, or one in general, is because of size. WE BE SMALL AF. Can’t blame them, I get it. We do the same. Insects? Fuck them mfs.

But have you seen a botfly or tick burrow into your skin? The infection that comes form that? Have you seen ants jump a small animal as a colony and absolutely shred it? Or a spider only biting you, and the horror the venom causes (recluses and huntsman’s specifically). We have a good fucking reason for disliking these mfs.

But transformers? These are organic experiences. Worst they go through are rust infections, spark death, the works. They are not at risk the same way we are. That is why they view organics as small and inconsequential. They have no idea how hard we fight to simply stay alive.

And now the similarities. It’s understandable that they wouldn’t immediately recognize the physical, cultural, and psychological similarities between our species. Transformers are an incredibly diverse race, like any other. But specifically in physical form. Your average cybertronian holds a similar appearance to your average human. We tend to have the same features, just with different names. Eyes, noses, faceplates, ears, two arms, two legs. Sure that’s average for them too. But they are unique because of the fact that they have two forms. Vehicle mode. Their mode decides what they’re second mode looks like, which can create extreme diversity is appearance. Small, large, many limbed or not.

So the immediate similarities probably wouldn’t jump out to them in an odd way. There’s also the idea that because they’re so spread out in the universe, they’ve seen other organic races that are also similar. Pairs of every body part could be the common denominator among species.

That goes culturally too. War, love, music, government, politics, it’s all a natural form of sentient evolution. Another common denominator. It’s how it’s done that makes it unique. And the similarities between human and cybertronian culture is uncomfortably familiar.

I think that’s why cybertronians are seen being closest with humans rather than other species in the shows and comics (obviously because the audience is human and they need relation to characters but shhhh forget that for a sec). This is where the theories start.

Let’s say cybertronians begin to recognize the weird similarities between our species. The really, really weird stuff. The itty bitty details. Like:

- how we also mainstream kissing on the lips as the top tier romantic gesture.

- use verbal tone and cues for our language.

- have intensely complicated interpersonal relationships in the exact same manner.

- suffer from extreme mental health issues like depression, anxiety, PTSD (I totally headcannon that forms of adhd, autism, and ocd exist in cybertronian society, have y’all not seen my boy rodimus prime??)

- will also destroy each other in the name of our gods, until we have a common enemy.

That’s just the basics I could come up with. The only time I actually saw a moment where a transformer genuinely take a moment to realize that humans can be a threat, was in transformers prime. Episode 6 of beast wars (I think, correct me if wrong), where Miko beats the ever loving fuck out of an insecticon (I think) and upon Megatron hearing this, just goes blank Kubrick stare for a hot second. Man had an ugly realization that did not fit in with anything he had experienced his whole life.

AND THEY NEVER FUCKING ADDRESSED IT EVER AGAIN. Sick of this shit. Could’ve had the most badass character development, where the humans actually proved useful and did something (it would have fit Milo’s character so perfectly too) and scared the utter shit out of the transformers. BUT NO. They continue to be annoying as fuck.

One thing I loved about TF Prime was that it canonically turned Unicron into Earth. And humans came from the earth. Which relates humans beings and cybertronians so hard. Cousins Fr. We are the cybertronian equivalent of organics, and transformers the inorganic equivalent of humans. The individuality, the chaos, the culture, it clicks. There is so much material to really go into it.

But they never do. Don’t get me wrong, I love Transformers lord and just discovering more without humans being involved. We’re just annoying af at this point. But there is so much u tapped potential in transformers actually taking the chance to LEARN about us. But we’re just friends (pets) to these mfs.

That’s why I love TF Earthspark so far. Transformers ingrained into human culture because they’re not from Cybertron, and cybertronians having to adapt to human culture because they have no where else to go. Granted, it’s a kids show. There’s only so much they can do. But I’m excited for where it’ll lead. It really shows how much of threat and ally humans are, and how we are just as diverse as cybertronians.

I need to write another fic about cybertronians meeting humans their size from our world tho. Need to continue my old piece. Would give me so much life. Y’all help motivate me, college draining my ass.

[featherandferns]

can I request 29 with fluff pls pls pls

29. "So Happy It's Thursday - make an acronym out of that..."

content warnings: underaged drinking

jj maybank x fem!reader

hungover

Hindsight vision is 20/20. A few things are hard to judge until after the fact, like whether you should take the risk not bothering to buy a parking ticket, or when you experiment with a new recipe without consulting the all-knowing internet first. Other things? Other things you can assume that you might have made a poor choice before facing the consequences, like voting an arrogant millionaire into presidency. In this case, it fell in the latter category. 

You and JJ had gone on an absolute rager last night. Seriously, the two of you went batshit. It started with an innocent joint being shared out on the hammock. Your legs were tangled with his, groaning whenever he stuck his foot near your face and nose, batting them away as he laughed. The joint sparked the munchies, which then somehow turned into a can of beer to accompany it, followed by another and another. Soon enough, John B, Kie and Pope were returning back from a day of fishing to find you and your boyfriend completely hammered, painfully cawing your way through karaoke in the chateau’s living room. The night only stretched on after being herded into the spare bedroom. The Pogues were hoping you’d both sleep it off but instead the two of you had lazily made out with one another until the early hours of the morning, as hands and fingers only wandered. 

It was all fun and games until now. Your blaring alarm woke the two of you up. It rung loud and grating like a foghorn on a ship. Groaning, you bat blindly at your phone screen. 

“Shut that crap off,” JJ grumbles into the pillow. 

“I’m tryin’,” you mutter in reply. You squint through the sunlit room and make out the time on the screen. Then you remember the date. Shit. “We got school.”

“Fuck that shit,” JJ groggily replies. 

“Amen,” you agree, rolling over. You tuck your head into his side and sigh, trying to drift back off. Pope had other ideas. The door swings open. 

“Come on! We gotta test!” Pope hollers. 

The chorus of groans and complaints from you and JJ seem almost rehearsed they’re so perfectly in tune and time. Kiara appears next, tossing an old t-shirt and breakfast bar at the two of you, and later John B with a final warning. 

“Let’s go, let’s go,” he calls. 

Knowing that the next step was benign physically dragged out of bed by your friends, you and JJ begrudgingly get up and get dressed. Every movement is at snail’s pace. Your head feels like a bowling ball: heavy atop of your neck. Your mugginess fails to dispel alongside your headache as the morning stretches on. Somehow, someway, you’re herded into the back of the Twinkie. JJ slumps against the wall, half-asleep, and you lean against his side. 

“Well,” Kiara says knowingly. “You two seem lively.”

“Fuck off,” JJ sighs, eyes shut to try and save his banging head. 

“How you guys feeling today?” Pope chides. 

You crack an eye open and glower at him through the hangover. “So Happy It’s Thursday - make an acronym out of that…”

His smile falters with that whilst Kie and John B snigger. Sighing, you curl up into JJ’s side. 

“We’re goin’ back to bed after this, right?”

“Damn straight we are,” is your mumbled reply. JJ presses a kiss to your forehead and you smile against his shirt. Sober or hungover, the two of you went through it together.

[broadwaydivastournament]

BROADWAY DIVAS SUPERLATIVES: Wait...WHAT???

Elaine Stritch's first orgasm during "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?": Crazy cantankerous Elaine Stritch was never one to mince words. Perhaps a crowning achievement in her many instances of raw candor, Elaine revealed the story behind her first-ever orgasm in an interview with "30 Rock" co-star Alec Baldwin in 2013. Elaine starred in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? on Broadway and during the national tour, 1963 and 1965, respectively. She would have been in her late thirties.

"But I wanted to tell something intimate about myself to John [Turturro] about when he was interviewing me. I told him that when I was doing Virginia Woolf and when George and Martha had their scene together and George said, 'Our son is dead.' You know, that big scene? 'Our son,' he yells in my face, 'is dead.' And I went 'No!' At the height of my force, I said no to him. And I had an orgasm for the first time in my life... So this is how important that moment was on stage to me. This is unbelievable, you don't know." -source

Gertrude Lawrence (almost) drops dead during "The King and I": On August 16th, 1952, one of the great stage divas of this world--and rumored lesbian--Gertrude Lawrence collapsed backstage after a Saturday matinee of The King and I. She was admitted to a hospital shortly thereafter, and by early September, the Tony-winning star was declared dead. She was buried in the iconic champagne "Shall We Dance?" gown, and became the first person for whom Broadway dimmed the marquee lights for. She was 54. And so began the long-standing King and I curse (I say tongue-in-cheek) where every subsequent Anna Leonowens has had some terrible tragedy befall them. -source

Julie Andrews declines her Tony nomination for "Victor/Victoria": We live in a cruel and unforgivable world where Julie Andrews does not have a Tony Award. The closest she came was in 1996 where she was nominated for Victor/Victoria. As the sole nomination for the show, Julie announced that she would withdraw her name for consideration in protest on behalf of her egregiously overlooked costars and creative team. She was thought to be a locked win at the time, and though her name did remain officially on the voting ballot, the award ultimately went to Donna Murphy for The King and I, making an awkward situation for everyone involved. -source

Marin Mazzie's "pussy on fire" incident during "Passion": Well, I'll let her tell you all about it.

Patti LuPone and the ALW Memorial Pool: Patti LuPone and the infamous lawsuit that cost ALW a million dollars for breaking her Sunset Boulevard contract. Patti had an iron-clad contract that stated she would be transferring with the production to Broadway, but news broke that she would be replaced by Glenn Close. Patti, who was at the theatre when she found out, went absolutely batshit and trashed her entire dressing room. Her feud persists to this day with several ups and downs, as is her right as a Diva-with-a-capital-D.

More Polls

Honorable mentions:

Stephen Sondheim sex dungeon

Bob Fosse's womanizing and finally him collapsing in separated wife Gwen Verdon's arms and dying shortly after.

The affairs of Broadway

Anti-vaxxer Laura Osnes tanking her promising Broadway career and now performing as a circus singer.

[welldonekhushi]

Okay guys, I'm back and.. I needed a short break after what happened in the MWIII campaign. Words can't express how shocked I was when I reached the end of the campaign and.. it left me in confusion, denial, depression and anger.

I'm putting a "read more" below because, if there are people who still haven't played MWIII, I'll keep ya guys safe.

Our theories before were constantly revolving that who's gonna die and what worse is going to happen.. it first pointed towards the fate of Price or Gaz. But, turns out we were jinxed. JINXED.

The campaign was.. okay but at the same time I felt it was small. Quite rushed. I did have a light of concern over their release date when MWII was currently trending. I was reading others reviews of how they felt about the game and yes, I agree with the same. But I wanna talk about Soap's fate this time..

Soap, who JUST started his journey, like, the one who only appeared in MWII and hoped we would see him more develop in the further games to be just.. killed off? When were they moments away from achieving victory?

So only because it's called MW3 ✌🏻 and you wanted to give us all a nostalgic experience you'll.. give them the original plot treatment? Both Soaps in the Modern Warfare universes.. died under the hands of Vladimir Makarov but in different circumstances.

This is where I got a bit angry at Price because, why didn't you kill Makarov instead of taking him in custody in Verdansk?! That guy is a walking grim reaper, and if Price took that action before, not just Soap but MANY more lives would have been saved. Soap was a man who was ready to take immediate action but always got backed off because of being bound to orders.

The end scene when they took out his ashes.. it broke me. Like, how unexpected this can be? Well, though I know Makarov already gave a warning that he was going to kill him off in the heli scene, but.. it's just not it? Like, honestly, I was hopeful Soap would survive.. it's disappointing for me, as someone who loves him so much, like anything.

So ScarSoap's now an angsty ship? Because let it be for both universes — OG and Reboot, Scarlet's going to be left behind? Welp, I'm more sad now, lol.

Otherwise, the expectations I had for the campaign were somehow, not met to the fullest but let's talk about the good things.

Price killing off Shepherd. YES, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. I freaking knew that he was going to die and my prediction called itself right. But, now that Price killed a 4-star General, he's gonna go rogue. You mean, batshit, crazy and unhinged Price on the move?!

Julian Kostov. The man. Bro, like, when he was featured in the reveal trailer, I was just hoping that he'd play the role of Makarov well and guess what? He did! I absolutely loved how he portrayed the man and he looked intimidating and twisted like a true psychopath. Truly, he could compete with the OG!Makarov and it's proven! Hats off to the actor, really <3

Price DOESN'T die. Neither in my beliefs, Farah and Alex. A relief. A pure relief, for real. The trailers showed him passing out but glad he's good in one piece. But, did that happen for the cost of killing Soap? :')

Graves and Shepherd betray each other in the conference, LMFAO! Who knew they were going to turn their backs on each other. Graves really had nothing to do with this, he was just a man following orders.. the problem lies with Shepherd, and always has.

Now, these guys said we're gonna release the "full campaign" on November 10. You mean.. the early access didn't show much of the story? So there's hope? OR NOT? Sigh, I don't want to think about it.. I just don't. I've been delulu, haha

Anyways, these are my thoughts for Modern Warfare III! What do you feel about it, let me know in the comments!

[nyaagolor]

Merry DL6mas!

I wrote an inordinate amnt of words about Edgeworth and MVK and dynamics and meta and w/e, stuck it below the cut so I don't obliterate ur dashes

So originally I wanted to make a relationship flowchart for all the characters and then realized that the amnt of caveats would make the image entirely text so I’m just forgoing the image altogether and doing this group by group starting with the VKs bc DL6mas and whatnot. It’s an essay and also unorganized so um. Have fun or apologies in advance? 

Anyway. I think AA1 intending to be standalone and then getting these additional games does some fun things to the characters but especially for Manfred. I’m of the opinion that he was not created or written to be deep or nuanced or anything. He’s the final boss, we weren’t supposed to get more on him, he’s honestly just a symbolic representation of the forces Phoenix works against rather than a character in his own right (in AA1 at least). He’s cartoonishly evil and that was supposed to be it— and then we get JFA and Franziska and suddenly Manfred gets all this retroactive characterization as the story is built beyond its initial parameters. That’s part of the reason why I’m so interested in him— all this new information comes exclusively through other characters and insinuations rather than him actually being on screen up until Investigations and even then it’s like 4 lines. We get more on Manfred, yes, but it’s a shadow on the wall. I’m sorry to bring up allegory of the cave about the gay lawyer simulator but w/e I’m a melodramatist, it’s an allegory of the cave situation. The reason I bring that up is because I don’t really think about Manfred in the same way as other characters; I piece together how I think of him though his relationships and impact on others rather than as an independent dude. His past is inconsequential to me and the ppl who flesh him out are the real troopers but he matters to me more as a vessel for narrative themes than anything. This is all to say that everything I’m doing is conjecture and just kind of filling in the gaps based on my current understanding of the text. Headcanons for the broad and far-reaching audience of me, myself, and I. 

That being said. The whole spiel I just went on about “Manfred as defined by his relation to others” works quite nicely as tie-in to how he feels about Edgeworth, because I think Edgeworth occupies this symbolic space in MVK’s mind. Yes, Edgeworth is a kid he mentors and who lives in his house and who he is legally responsible for, but Edgeworth is also this physical manifestation of his failures. Edgeworth is a child, yes, but to MVK he’s a ghost, a consequence, a punishment. He may not be a VK, but he IS karma (sound the turnabout melody I am kissing you on the lips for this line btw). 

This also means that the way MVK views Edgeworth as an extension of his own thoughts about the DL6 incident rather than solely as his own person, which is something that changes pretty drastically over time. The way he talks about and to Edgeworth goes beyond who and what Edgeworth is as a person because for MVK, there was always an aspect of the self in there, and MVK interacting with Edgeworth is as much a reflection of his own identity as it is how he feels about Miles. 

If there is one thing the entire VK family does extraordinarily well it's projection, and I think MVK has been doing this since he brought Edgeworth into the picture (and before that, but it’s only relevant to me now). This is personally how I rationalize how absolutely batshit half of MVK’s actions are. I know the actual reason is “we expanded the characters around him which necessitates certain actions to drive the plot and inconsistency results from this expansion” blah blah blah paratext more or less confirms this, but we are going full Watsonian in this bitch. 

I have talked at length about the actual medical stuff around gunshots and how bullets are typically removed from joints specifically because of how badly they damage the surrounding tissues over time, I’ll link the post if anyone is curious, but tldr bullet wound symbolism. I bring this up now because I think the bullet acts as a physical representation for DL6, it literally and metaphorically tears him up inside. No one else knows about this murder, most people have forgotten the penalty, but he never did, because he can’t. For someone who has structured his entire self on the idea of perfection, this is an event of unprecedented magnitude, and the living proof of it is eating dinner at his table every night. MVK sits with the weight of what he’s done, and whether or not he feels justified or guilty or w/e doesn’t even matter because it’s making him lose his goddamn mind. His behavior gets more intense, more irrational, because before he was just a massive, scheming, paragon of perfection (and corruption but shh) but now he is in this inescapable cycle as the result of his choices and his choices exclusively. I don’t propose to know nor care about how he felt about it or what the specific emotions he felt were because they’re not particularly important in my mind, only that the lingering ghost of DL6 is driving MVK kinda bonkers and that drastically alters how he interacts with Edgeworth and Franziska. 

I’ve seen a lot of debate about why MVK took in Edgeworth, but my hot take is that he actually doesn’t know. I don’t think MVK ever processed DL6, I think he is filled with contradictory feelings (how ironic) and that this is what eats at him through all those years. Why did he take in Edgeworth? Because he felt guilty? Because he wanted to train him into everything his father hated as a twisted kind of revenge? Because he wanted a prodigy and saw himself in Edgeworth? It’s all of them, it’s none of them, it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t know. Why did he prosecute Edgeworth right before the statute of limitations ended? Was it revenge? Hatred? A way to test his prodigy? To project his own gnawing nest of emotions onto the person he felt embodied the incident? Same deal. (the real answer is that it doesn’t really matter bc we were not supposed to think about it this hard but. Shh. dw about it.)

I don’t take much interest into Manfred’s inner world because I ultimately think that a lot of his actions, while completely under his control, are him acting on impulse, on him doing irrational things because DL6, in a sense, killed him too. He comes out of that elevator a different person (not worse (can’t go down from rock bottom), not better, just a different kind of asshole), but destroyed from the inside out by a murder he committed. He’s so arrogant, so entitled, that he could never let this go, and I think that drives so much of the insane shit he tries to pull. He has centered his life around the axis of DL6 and he will always be pulled back into its orbit. The further we get from DL6 the more time he has to think, the more it tears him apart, the more the contradictory feelings about it rear their heads in turn and create this guy who is just desperate and angry. And when it’s days before the statute of limitations he just becomes completely subsumed by it all. He was always cruel, but now he’s cruel and desperate and completely willing to drag everyone down with him. The desperation is the important part. 

I will say though that he is, irrefutably, his own downfall. He molded Edgeworth in his own image, he created Phoenix Wright the defense attorney as a consequence, and it is the two of them who send him to his death. He is the one who planned the murder of Turnabout Goodbyes. From beginning to end, it’s his own hand. Manfred is one of the only characters in this series whose actions are not precedented by extenuating circumstances. It’s allllll him. He’s the bitch. He has been and will always be a selfish prick and for as much as he is lashing out because of DL6 he does so by dragging others in. 

Extremely long prelude to say that I think how he treats edgeworth varies so wildly over time and is so irrational in its presentation because of everything I mentioned before. He is Edgeworth’s greatest kindness and his worst nightmare— at the same time!! Multitasking king. He takes in Edgeworth as a snap decision for reasons he doesn’t entirely understand, and I think because of that he never quite views Edgeworth as a son (at least in the traditional sense). Edgeworth is not his child in the same way that Franziska is his child (and we will get to her in a different post I promise), but he’s not just some random kid either. Manfred is emotionally tied to him through DL6, and I think the fact colors the way that Manfred treats him. It’s a dynamic that I can’t really put a label on, because it’s mentor/student with so much extra baggage that it feels different than that. There is an emotional connection between them, a sense of atonement and revenge, and I don’t think either of them will ever be able to articulate what that means. Manfred does not address Edgeworth as his child, and I think there is an attempt in his language to distance himself from Edgeworth, but he finds himself drawn to Edgeworth all the same (bc Edgeworth is DL6 etc etc). He did not ask for a child, he does not WANT a child, but he has one! Get fucked!

MVK is obsessed with his own image, with this idea of perfection, and insofar as Edgeworth is DL6, Edgeworth is an extension of MVK. He pushes his ideals and tactics onto Edgeworth the second Edgeworth decides he wants to be a prosecutor, because even more than Franziska, Edgeworth is MVK’s living legacy. He is quite literally Manfred’s midlife crisis and I think Edgeworth wanting to be like him and becoming this Demon Prosecutor is this insanely fucked up kind of catharsis in MVK’s mind. And as Edgeworth becomes more like him, as he takes up MVK’s mantle, he becomes a mirror— that is where shit gets fun. I don’t think I need to spell out the ways in which MVK was simultaneously caring and cruel to his kids— you’ve seen Sound the Turnabout Melody, you’re seen Turnabout Goodbyes, we know this song and dance. 

The more time Edgeworth spends around him, as Edgeworth reflects more of Manfred back at himself, MVK simultaneously becomes proud and revolted. Edgeworth is growing beyond the consequences of DL6 and into a mirror of his adopted father figure mentor person. He is, from the ashes of DL6, becoming Manfred von Karma, and I think that drives MVK insane. He is becoming firmly entrenched in MVK’s life at this point. For as much as Edgeworth is DL6, he is now MVK himself. He becomes a walking contradiction, and Manfred’s projection then manifests as this rapidly oscillating clusterfuck of reactions. Edgeworth is out of his control but he’s super important to MVK— recipe for disaster. 

He builds Edgeworth up, teaches him everything he knows, starts to treat him like a son while at the same time irrevocably traumatizing for the rest of his life. He loves who Edgeworth is becoming while hating everything he stands for, and I think this absolute garbage pile of a child-rearing philosophy is as much a projection of himself as anything. It was never about Edgeworth the person. At first, MVK does not care in the slightest about Miles Edgeworth and it is only when he does, even a little bit, that shit hits the fan in my mind. Edgeworth the physical manifestation of DL6 is being overtaken by Edgeworth the Demon Prosecutor, and MVK starts to be proud of him— but this is an eventuality he did not plan for and cannot do anything about. For both of them, it’s personal now, and no amount of pushing each other away is really going to fix that. 

Anyway I don’t think literally any of this was intended. Manfred is not this deep, I am making literally all of this up, but it’s fine. If you got this far I salute you. Miles time. To pivot to Edgeworth’s POV for a while, I think that from the very beginning, Edgeworth looked up to MVK. It’s not the same idolization that Franziska does, but it’s up there. Obviously he idolized his father, but DL6 not only served as a complete evisceration of his family but also his ideals. Gregory the man was dead, but if criminals can kill his father and get away with it, that collapses the foundation on which Miles built his understanding of justice. Gregory the defense attorney– his ideals, his legacy, his philosophy– he died in that elevator too. Edgeworth pivots, completely independently, from a man who wants to protect to a man who wants to punish (and I firmly believe that this was his own decision and not Manfred pushing him into it, if MVK had not adopted him he still would have become a prosecutor just not so much of a dick). 

But so Manfred takes him in, and was spectacularly ill-equipped to handle this. I always saw Manfred as emotionally distant on the best of days (he’s born in the 50s what did u expect) but for Miles, who he barely considers a son at all, he isn’t capable of being the emotional support he needs. He never would be and never wanted to be. That’s layer one of baggage. What MVK does provide for Miles, though, is a purpose. Miles does not wallow in his father’s death, because he is taken in by someone who acts as a paragon of Miles’ new worldview. Manfred never lets a criminal get away. He is perfect in that way, and it gives Miles a tangible (albeit impossible) goal to strive for. MVK mentors him in this worldview and gives him the tools to outlet his grief and rage into something productive— fucked up and wrong, maybe, but productive. That’s layer two of baggage. 

For as complicated and twisted and contradictory as MVK’s feelings towards Edgeworth are, Edgeworth for most of his childhood sees MVK as this pillar of everything that is good and treats him with intense amounts of respect. He accepts any cruelty as tough love, he adopts his ideals and his tactics and his suit. Edgeworth needed *something* after the grief of DL6 and MVK is what he got, so Miles latches on and never lets go, for better or for worse. Miles Edgeworth is not Manfred von Karma but he actively tries to take his shape because whether or not it’s reciprocated, Edgeworth loves him and everything that he stands for. Manfred cares about him in that respect at the very least. And ultimately, this is my big take on Edgeworth: I think Edgeworth actively chased MVK. He became MVK on purpose. It’s a result of trauma and built entirely on false pretenses, but Miles is the one who takes the initiative and Manfred indulges him— And then Turnabout Goodbyes happens. 

Everything Edgeworth is, everything he made himself become, is wrong. Edgeworth has molded himself into a person he does not recognize and that person turned out to be a monster. The person Edgeworth idolized, respected, and maybe even loved is the very person who destroyed his life. He is wearing the skin of the monster he wanted to destroy, and he did it on purpose (in his mind). This is not to say he had much if any agency in this situation— this is not a path he would naturally take, this is structured entirely under false pretenses, and he was clouded by grief, traumatized, and most importantly nine, but what matters here is that Edgeworth FEELS like it’s his fault, and the complete collapse of his worldview AGAIN is what drives all the bullshit of RFTA. Edgeworth is not MVK (and you can tell because he is capable of self-reflection which MVK is ostensibly not (or at least unwilling to)), but it still drives him to this complete and utter devastation. He sees Manfred in himself and it isn’t until AAI1/2 that he’s able to see Gregory as well. MVK filled a need for Edgeworth at the lowest point in his life (and absolutely made him worse but that’s not the point). Edgeworth respected and loved Manfred’s ideals, STILL chases the idea of the man, and because of that still cares about him. He becomes aware of who the monster he loved is, and how has to reconcile with what it means to be that person’s reflection and legacy despite knowing— and feeling, and BEING— all the harm he caused.

Those contradictory feelings that I talked about earlier? Love and hatred all mixed together— questions that cannot be answered and actions taken without knowing why? That’s Edgeworth’s final gift from Manfred: he inherits the bullet and the legacy he carries forward. Unlike Manfred, though, Edgeworth takes that pain and shares it, lets other people in, scoffs at the veneer of perfection and allows himself to be hurt and vulnerable and it is only in that way that Edgeworth can break out of VK’s shadow and break the cycle. He holds onto the ideals that he learned from Manfred, separates them from the nastiness and acknowledges the place they came from. It’s obvious in the way that Edgeworth carries aspects of that legacy forward that he’s capable of disseminating everything that Manfred is, acknowledging the way he’s been influenced by him and what he still respects about the man despite it all, and make peace with the rest of it. The cycle of violence and corruption started with Manfred and Edgeworth makes sure that it ends with him too. 

I have a ton more to talk about with respect to his teaching methods and the nitty gritty of how he interacts with his kids but that’s for the Fran post. This is more of the “whys” than the “hows” but I’ll get there :)

Anyway, I think that’s it. I’m sure there’s more that I’m missing but my head is beyond empty rn and I can’t think of anything else I wanna talk about with respect to these two. I know I literally just spewed 3k words about into this textpost but I do love chatting about them (total shock I know) so if u also have thoughts or ideas abt anything related to them lmk :3

[luvendiary]

Hiiiiii could i request a Percy x reader? Where reader has been at camp half blood for majority of her life so she’s witnessed everything, maybe she feels very powerless despite being a half blood, so when Chiron tells her she has a prophecy she’s like wtf!?! And maybe it’s about her sacrificing herself to like help win the battle of manhattan? And protect Percy? And maybe when she dies Percy goes absolutely batshit?

Sacrifices

a/n: i'm so sorry for the delay. these past few months have been hectic. I've just finished my IB assignments and I feel so free. to everyone that's sent in requests, I deeply apologize for making you wait so long. with that said, I hope you enjoy this, and as always, let me know what you think. warnings: mention of blood, violence and a bit of dark!percy

When Luke’s sword had pierced your abdomen, it hadn’t hurt.

You were so relieved to have finally found Percy, that the euphoric rush of adrenaline had numbed any pain that the weapon digging into your flesh could have caused.

It wasn’t until you saw the look on Percy’s face, and was somehow made aware of the gasp that Annabeth had let out that you realized something was wrong. You started to feel cold, and dizzy, and it wasn’t until Kronos pulled out the blade, that you finally felt it. With eyes wide, you silently brought your hand up to your stomach, and when you glanced down at it, you saw your calloused skin tinted a deep shade of crimson.

A small gasp left your mouth, a disbelieving one. This couldn’t be it, right? Then again, you suppose this was what you had always wanted: adventure. And with adventure, comes risks. Now you had to pay the price.

You looked up at Percy, and the sound of his sword clattering on the ground echoed in your ears. He was running to you, though his movements seemed slow. Everything was slow, and everything was quiet. Everything but the sound of your own pained breathing that seemed to be amplified. You felt your knees as they gave out on you, and as you fell, your life flew before your eyes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You were six the first time you realized that older son of Dionysius you had befriended wouldn’t be coming back to camp. He and his group had been ambushed by a group of inferni, and he had sacrificed himself in order to give the others a head start.

Chiron looked at you, as you sat in the first row of the amphitheater, tears running down your cheeks. “We must remember them for who they were, not for their fate. They have reencountered their fallen brothers and sister, and it comes to reason that we will see each other again”, the centaur said. But that didn’t make it any better. You realized then and there that your other friends who Chiron had told you that had ‘moved away’ or ‘decided not to come back to camp’ had probably met the same fate as your friend.

It was Mr. D who had broke the news to you, “Demigods don’t live long kid”, he had said when you came to his office crying that you hadn’t seen his son. “It’s time you knew that, it will save you a lot of pain”. He took out a bottle, and took a big sip from it. His words had not made you feel better, and instead you had run directly to the door, with the intent of getting out, and as far away as possible. Instead, you had bumped into Chiron, who looked down at you with concern, and sudden realization.

“Oh young one…” he lamented.

His deep voice offered you the comfort Mr. D had failed to give you, so you clung to one of his legs as sobs racked your body.

“Couldn’t you be more gentle with her? She’s only six, for the gods sake!”

“Her kind have suffered worse…” Mr. D slurred. “It’s time for her to open her eyes and wake up.”

Wake up.

Wake up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

“Wake up, please. Please wake up, Y/N,” Percy pleaded as he held your body to his.

Your eyes fluttered open, and you saw him looking down at you, his beautiful sea-green eyes were watery. You thought they looked pretty.

Your eyes started to water, though you didn’t know why exactly. Was it because seeing Percy sad made you sad? Or perhaps you were afraid of dying? You didn’t know, but you knew that you wanted to comfort him, so you offered him a small smile and gently raised your hand to wipe his tears.

He let out a sob as he clutched your hand and pressed it to his cheek tenderly.

“Percy…it’s ok…”

He shook his head and shushed you, “No, save your energy. I’m going to get you out of here. You’ll be ok. Everything will be ok.” His voice was desperate, and his eyes reflected it. A storm was brewing inside them.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You were ten the first time another demigod had injured you. It made you feel so weak. You had always been calm, never one to act upon harsh emotions, but this was the first time you realized how much pent-up anger you had been holding onto.

You had been playing capture the flag, and she was on the opposing team. It had been on purpose, you knew how personal these games could get. You understood that. What you didn’t understand, however, was how could she have done this to you.

You pleaded and scurried away from the fifteen-year-old, telling her you didn’t have the flag, and begging for her to leave you alone. She just laughed at you as she showed-off the new blade she had gotten as a spoil from her last quest.

You couldn’t exactly remember what happened, but what you could remember was the pain you felt as the blade cut through the skin on your face. You also remembered the laugh that followed suit, as blood dripped down onto your legs. But you couldn’t remember seeing anything. The blade had cut your eye, and when the other girls realized the severity of the situation, they had fled the scene, leaving you crying and gasping for air alone on the forest floor. It was Annabeth who had found you, and she had called Chiron immediately. By then you had lost consciousness, and when you came to it was by the light stroke of a thumb over your now-healed scar.

Luke smiled down at you. “We’ll be the most bad-ass campers now that we are matching”.

You had smiled then, accepting the little comfort he had offered you. You did suppose that being similar to Luke made you happy, but deep down, the anger that burned inside of you grew. For now, however, you would allow yourself to rest, until you were strong enough to stand again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You didn’t want to rest. But the thought seemed so alluring. Maybe if you just closed your eyes for a second…

“Open your eyes Y/N”, Percy begged. His voice broke, and it made you want to fix whatever had been broken, but you couldn’t. Not this time.

“We’ll see each other again Perce,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “The gods owe us that at least.”

“No. I’ll fix this. There must be someone”.

“It’s not your fault Percy, we can’t stop destiny”.

His eyes widened, he understood now. “No- Please don’t tell me…Y/N/N…”

“Prophecies choose us. And I would have…” you were running out of breath. “I would have chosen it, if it meant helping you.”

Your eyes were getting heavy now, and your body had gone numb by now. It was a peaceful feeling.

“We’ll see each other again,” you whispered. “I promise”.

You heard Percy sob, and you felt his body shake as he held you close. It was nice spending your last moments with him. It was nice being loved.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You had been twelve when you first saw Percy. His encounter with the Minotaur had left him not in the best conditions.

“The monster got you too,” were the first words he had said to you. “But you got a bad-ass scar out of it. I’m just sore. I don’t think that’s fair”.

You rolled your eyes at him, you had been very much tempted to punch him right then and there. “This wasn’t the Minotaur”.

“Then what was it?” he asked, fascination in his eyes. It was amusing how he thought it was all exciting.

“A worse kind of monster,” you replied simply. Not wanting to go into details.

“You’re the coolest girl I know”, he said, and something gave you the impression that he didn’t know a lot of girls.

That year you had your first quest, thanks to fish-boy. It was also the year you got your first ever prophecy. But you wouldn’t come to know that until a few years later when you asked Chiron why he had insisted on you going with Percy and Grover.

You had felt a numbness go through your body then. There was no way to outrun fate. And if fate wanted you to serve as a sacrifice for the world’s savior, then there was no way around it. Your first instinct was to tell Luke, but you had to remind yourself that he had chosen his path a long time ago. He was the cause you were going to have to sacrifice yourself.

You had been thirteen when you realized that maybe Percy wasn’t so bad after all. And fourteen when you told Thalia you might have a crush on him. Fifteen was when you had your first kiss, and now that you were sixteen, you were afraid that you wouldn’t be able to have a second one.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Percy’s blood turned cold as he heard Krono’s grating voice.

“I told her she should’ve joined me! She would have been safe here!” he screamed. “This is your fault Jackson!”

Percy stood up and gripped his sword tightly and lunged at him. His angry groans fueled every attack. Rage and anger ran through his veins, like gasoline, forcing him to move and thrust his sword harder with every attack. His vision became tinted with red, all that he knew was that at some point during their fight, Kronos’ moves had become sloppier, his mortal body confining him, and his tired gasping was like melody to his ears.

The clang of their weapons echoed across the city as they circled each other, searching for an opening. Percy eventually found one, and with a swift and decisive strike, he plunged his sword into Luke’s chest.

The blond boy fell to his knees, clutching his chest as blood seeped through his fingers. Percy looked down at him, his sword still dripping with blood.

“She would’ve told me to go easy on you,” he said, as he glared down at him, hot tears still rolling down his cheeks.

Luke glanced up at him, blood spilling from his parted lips. “I’ll se her soon…” he muttered.

Percy grabbed his hair and forced him to look up at him, “You wont ever get to see her again, understand? I want you to die knowing that you will rot in the deepest pits of Tartarus, while she will be happy without you.” His voice was like acid, burning through everything it touched.

With that, Luke’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body went limp.

It was done. The prophecy had ended.

But his quest was far from over. He would have her back, even if it was the last thing he’d ever do.

[blackbatcass]

If it’s okay could you recommend comics for the flash fam? I really want to start reading them but I have no idea where to start 😅

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN ANON!! reading flashfam comics can change your life for the better fr, unlike batman comics which usually change your life for the worse. Flash comics are honestly very simple to get into? for the most part you can just pick which era you want to start with, hop on that mainline ongoing and read from there.

this got kind of ridiculously long (i ramble about flash sorry)

i am not by any means a well-read silver age fan so I'll just skip right over those LMAO. if you want to read barry's run i assume you can just read flash v1 up until crisis. if you're interested in reading wally as kid flash he's featured in backups throughout a lot of v1 iirc!

unsurprisingly, my number one rec for the flashfam would be the flash volume 2 (1987). it's got pretty much everything you need. it introduced the speed force, basically created what we think of as the flashfamily, reintroduced & created beloved characters, and built up wally into the loser we know and love today<3 at its core it's the story of wally's journey from the very start of his career as the flash, learning how to fill barry's shoes and be a grown-up. it starts when he's this insane cringe 20 year old loser and ends with him as a full adult who's married with two kids LOL. it does soooo much work for wally as a character it's unreal.

but to keep it real flash v2 is......very long. like Incredibly long. it is 200+ issues and ran for over 20 years. so i can break it down into some smaller pieces & try to provide a roadmap so it's maybe a little less intimidating

the bad news is that the first guy to start out on the run fucking HATED wally for some reason lmfao and it shows. it's painful to read. the good news is he only stayed for the first 14 issues lol so honestly you can just skip those and start at #15 where william messner-loebs took over. now......the messner-loebs era is also not perfect and can be a bit of a slog. I love it in the fond 'wow wtf was all that' kind of way but it is definitely not a masterpiece. there are a lot of unmemorable, bland (occasionally batshit & ridiculous) arcs and he introduces a whole army of mostly forgettable side characters. credit where credit is due there is a lot of good stuff in there, he set up some stuff that is foundational to flash lore (like LINDA!! and hartley!) but it's not for everyone. if you want you can jump in at #31, where wally moves to keystone, or if you read some of it and it's not for you it's honestly fine to just skip to #62 where waid's run begins. #62-65 are a flashback retelling of wally's origin story (basically flash year one) and it's sooo good. essential wally reading.

the waid run is definitely the best section of the comic. it's classic it's iconic it builds the flashfamily it creates the speedforce it introduces bart allen. it's phenomenal. if you are interested in characters like bart, the garricks, johnny & jesse quick, and max mercury they are all integrated into the flashfam over this run. if nothing else i would recommend reading this part. oh and SPEAKING of bart allen, he gets introduced in issue #92! he hangs out in flash for a bit, zero hour happens, and pretty soon after his impulse series starts in 1995.

this is my #2 flashfam rec! if you have been in these tumblr circles at all then you've heard us rave about impulse 1995. it's simply Thee comic of all time. everyone on earth needs to read it im not kidding. it follows bart's life living with max mercury and his daughter helen, trying to adjust to normal life in the past. it's just. it's the best. it's 89 issues long, but honestly it goes by SUPER fast. i would recommend doing what i did and reading impulse and flash in parallel, just to get that organic experience & context. they cross over several times until impulse eventually ends.

ok back to flash v2. once geoff johns takes over..... i mean i won't say it ruins the comic and there is definitely stuff worth reading but i love waid infinitely better. it's really up to you. waid also comes back now and then to write a few chunks.

the flash series doesn't end until 2008. the next big thing after would be flash: rebirth, which. i am not a fan of for obvious reasons (get back in that coffin barry) but it's essential to understanding the plot so i have to include it lol.

i honest to god have no idea wtf was going on during flashpoint & new52. I will not pretend to understand that era. however if you are interested in the modern flashfam & the introduction of characters like ace west and avery ho, there are a couple good places to start! if you want to read williamson's run, you can start at the rebirth flash run (flash v5 #1). wally is eventually reintroduced (thank god) during this run.

if you want to start at the jeremy adams run (which features lots of members of the flashfamily) you can start at flash #768, which runs all the way to #800.

I would personally recommend the current flash ongoing written by si spurrier! it is kind of a lot and I'm in the minority in my love for it but it's interesting, thoughtful, has a role for pretty much every character, and has a lot of really cool cosmic horror elements. i will concede that it is VERY complicated and technical but you can tell spurrier has things to say and honestly it's so rare that a comic makes me think these days that i'm eating it up.

there were also two recent flashfam miniseries that just finished, speed force and jay garrick: the flash! i enjoyed both. they're short and fun.

aaaand that's my list! it is by no means comprehensive and it is very possible i got some things wrong so I apologize in advance. if you have any more questions I will be happy to try and answer them. I hope this was at least a little bit helpful and not even more confusing lol!

[etz-ashashiyot]

Hi nonny,

OHHHHHHhhhhh so this is about Kahanists, Ben-Gvir, and his cadre of absolutely batshit parade of horribles.

Great news! I actually link to articles about what Kahanism is and why it has no place in decent society in my pinned About post.

I have tried to educate people about literal terrorist and terror enthusiast Itamar Ben-Gvir previously on this blog, although now is as good a time as any to link to it as a reminder.

And I have called out terrible behavior on Israel's side in the past as well. (These are just the examples I found while digging for the other links, but there's more if you look.)

Rape, sexual abuse, torture, terrorism, etc. are bad no matter who is doing it and I have never taken another position on that matter. It's fucked up when people do it in the US, it's fucked when people do it in Israel, and it's fucked up when Hamas members do it. No one gets a free pass here.

I don't actually think we disagree on that, at least.

That all said, I still refuse to judge Israeli citizens as a whole or the validity of Israel as a country based on the actions of the absolute worst members of their society. It's awful and the victims deserve real accountability and justice. This is the same standard I use for Palestinians as well. I do not think Hamas is representative of your average Palestinian citizen either*, nor do I think that their right to self-determination should be denied because of Hamas - just that a disarmed and dismantled Hamas is necessary for building a lasting and democratic Palestinian state alongside Israel. But don't take it from me.

*I'm certain someone is likely to come along and argue about the complicity of Gazan civilians in 10/7 and other earlier atrocities. I understand where that is coming from, but at the same time, I think it is also worth considering how Gazans live under Hamas' brutal authoritarian regime and have been intentionally radicalized. I think any future peace project is going to require deep educational work, deradicalization work, and Truth and Reconciliation processes for both sides in order to stick.

A final reminder that this is the best summary of my views on the conflict as a whole.

[zyonsay]

Hihi can i request a scenario where max is in a relationship w the m!reader but he accidently reveals it on stream (while streaming w team redline)? Happy christmas :)

Wrong Moment MV1

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: Read the Request above! <3

Reader: Male

Warnings: Slight Angst, Max Emilian Verstappen

Now playing: 'Partner in Crime' by Madilyn Mei

AN: Hey there anon! Thanks for the Request! This turned out to be slightly angsty at the end, i dont know what happened or when it happened lmao I hope that's alright! Merry Christmas sweetheart <3

Your day at work was absolutely horrible. Max has offered to take care of all the costs, so you can quit your work, but you refused. Living on your partner’s costs would just make you feel dependent, and you disliked the idea of that. The application at another workplace was sent, you were waiting for an answer, and you’d be running the hell out of there.

An exhausted huff left you as you sat your bag down and slipped off your shoes, Jimmy and Sassy immediately came running over to you, rubbing along your legs for attention. You gently scratched their chins and pet them a few times before entering the kitchen.  After turning on the kettle, you shuffled your way over to Max’s office. The door opened silently; the handyman was here to oil the hinges last week. Using the opportunity, you snuck up behind your boyfriend. After waiting for a second or two you leaped forward and wrapped your arms around him. Max gasped out of shock, but soon recognized your hands and your sweet scent. Without thinking much, he turned his chair around and hugged you. “How was work baby?”, you only groaned in response, earning a light chuckle from your boyfriend. Comfortable in the warm embrace, you didn’t notice the chat on Max’s screen going batshit. “Ayo mate, who’s that?”, Enzos voice rung trough the room. Startled, you looked behind Max, seeing the screen. Shit.

“You’re live Max?”, your voice was nothing more than a whisper. His friendly eyes widened as the realization kicked in. “Sorry mates, I gotta go.” He swiftly spun his chair around and pressed ‘end stream’. He then turned back towards you; shock still evident in his features.

You pressed your lips together, not knowing what to do with the situation at hand. A quiet sigh escaped you, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were streaming.” Silence.

He gently pulled you closer, holding you as if you were a delicate butterfly, whose wings would break if he held on too tight. “It’s not your fault. I need to call Christian. We need to work this out fast.” He broke the embrace, looking up at you through his golden-brown lashes. “I love you.”

He then scrambled out of his chair, fishing his phone out of his jeans while leaving the room. A singular pearly tear ran down your cheek, though shortly followed by a glistening river. A soft sob got stuck in your throat. This wasn’t good. It wasn’t the right moment for anyone to find out.

Slowly your knees gave in and the sobs erupted from your heavy chest.

[alchemistc]

shoulda been a rockstar

Corroded Coffin makes it. Despite all odds, despite all the shitty crap that went down in '85, Corroded Coffin goes on to have an illustrious career - they win awards and hit the top of the charts and people genuinely fucking love them. They change the fucking genre and then just keep growing from there.

They break up for a time in the aughts, and then when they're all in their middler ages they have a drunken night together and decide to get the band back together - they've got kids now, wives and families and a million other things and one day Gareth's kid pulls out a tape from one of the boxes Gareth hasn't opened in thirty years - spends a week searching thrift shops and ebay for a cassette player even though his dad definitely could find one way quicker and when he finally listens to it he's a little transported, because this stuff is - this stuff is raw, and it's just a bit mean, and - and the vocals are all wrong, the voice is -

Gareth's son brings it to the studio and they all sit around the booth and listen with wistful sad smiles and -

"That's Eddie, bud," Gareth tells him, and he struggles with the memory, trying to think of where he knows that name from but -

"I think we recorded this when you were still a freshman," Jeff says, but that doesn't explain who -

"You mean that guy who murdered those people in your home town when you were in high school?"

And they all sort of blink and pause and hem around the point for a bit but -

"Eddie wasn't - listen, bud, I know what the official version of events is but Eddie - he didn't -."

"He died, right?"

And they all nod solemnly and share quiet looks between them and he thinks probably that's the end of that, and he feels sort of bad about reminding them of their dead maybe murderous friend, but he's a teenager, so he sort of forgets about it after that.

---

The dudes he runs into on his way to the booth give Paul sort of a shifty look, and Paul takes them in - they're both about the same height and they both look very vaguely familiar but they're in the studio and Paul never pays much attention to his dad's colleagues - ones got thick rimmed glasses and a crooked nose and a weird scar on his neck, and the other has a nest of short dark curls piled artfully atop his head and a nervously giddy grin plastered across his face and they're holding hands and Paul doesn't know them, so when he asks his dad about it he just shrugs and tells him they're trying some shit out for the reunion album.

Paul promptly forgets about them, too.

---

Corroded Coffin releases three singles before the start of the reunion tour that fans go absolutely batshit insane for. Jeff doesn't sing in them, which Paul thinks is weird as fuck, because Jeff's vocals are like a cornerstone of Corroded Coffin but the singer in all three songs reminds him of -

"You told me he was dead," Paul says, arms crossed and the tape he'd tossed at his dad still laying in his dad's lap, and his dad sort of maybe panics a little.

"Paul, you can't - he is dead. Eddie Munson died in the earthquake and that's what the whole world knows."

"Who the fuck is Steve E, then?" Because that's what the vocal credits on the song say, and there's definitely royalties going to this Steve E guy, and -

"Paul, you can't tell a soul. According to all government documentation Steve E is Teddy Eller's husband, and he's the vocals on those songs."

"And the truth?"

"That's - complicated."

Paul's not going to tell anyone, but it still sort of pisses him off that his dad won't at least tell him because he can keep a goddamn secret, okay?

---

"You can't play them live," Paul predicts, the day before their first show, and he thinks they all kind of look like dweebs, dressed like they haven't all spent the last eleven years filling out and aging, but they're excited, and they're letting him go on the first leg of the tour, so. Whatever. They can do what they want, a bunch of aging rockers trying to relive their glory days.

But they can't play the new singles live. Not when those songs have a voice that distinctive and that voice is apparently attached to a face that's supposed to be dead.

"That - those songs, we didn't really record them for - it wasn't for us," Gareth tells him, and he maybe, sort of, kind of gets it

It's a shame though, because of everything he's ever heard from CC's discography, these are some of the best.

"You could make it a gimmick, you know. Like - Corpse, or Daft Punk, or - that weird band you like, the ones with the cartoon avatars "

"The Gorillaz aren't weird, Paul, they're art."

He doesn't even bother to respond to the suggestion, and - that's that, Paul guesses.

---

"Shit shit shit -," the guy standing in the wings says, and Gareth sighs, rolls his eyes, grabs Paul by one elbow and the curly haired guy by the bicep and he drags them both further into the bowels of backstage.

"Where's Steve?" he asks, and the other middle aged guy from the studio with a different set of glasses on this time guiltily pops his head out from behind a massive amp.

"Hey Gare," he says with a dorky little finger wave, and Paul stares at them for a beat.

"Holy shit you're Steve Harrington." In his dad's freshman and sophomore yearbook, his dad has drawn devil horns on the preppy kids face. He only remembers because when he pointed it out, his dad had laughed hysterically for like ten minutes and muttered "I didn't draw that shit, his fucking soulmate did that when he was pretending he still hated his goddamn guts."

"Not technically?" Glasses says. "I changed my name when I got married."

"YOUR FAKE-DEAD HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND HAD AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS ROMANCE WITH THE PREPPY JOCK?"

Glasses blinks. Curly haired vocalist grins. "When you put it that way it is kind of cliche. Steve, I want a divorce."

"Oh gross," Paul says, because they're looking at each other all fond and lovey like his parents do right before they start playing shitty 90s love ballads really loudly from their bedroom.

"Super gross," his dad repeats, but he's darting his gaze between the two like he's watching one of those romcoms he pretends to hate whenever mom picks the movie.

"Eat my shorts," Curly Hair says, and it's the single most embarrassing thing Paul's ever heard so he sort of just sneaks away before his dad has a chance to figure out why the fuck they're hanging backstage like they're going to crash the bands show.

---

Paul still calls him Teddy even though the rest of the band drops the "T" any time they're not surrounded by managers and publicists and adoring fans. He's - the single most annoying person on the planet but also the only person Paul knows who can actually hold his weight when Paul starts debating about some obscure piece of music trivia. Teddy runs a D&D game in breaks between cities and fights Paul on game mechanics constantly because Paul hates min-maxing and Eddie doesn't give a shit about it as long as the RP is good, and Steve still puts on one of those stupid fucking masks once in a while and pretends to sing Teddy's vocals while Teddy wistfully watches his husband showboat in the wings of the stage.

His last night with the band before CC heads overseas and Paul has to go back and figure out how to do a summers worth of reading in two weeks, he corners Teddy halfway through a super-embarrasing gyration Steve's doing onstage to a lyric Paul hadn't realized was so suggestive until that very moment.

"Don't you hate it?"

Teddy looks at him sharply, and Paul knows - knows he fucking hates that this is the closest he'll ever get to that rockstar dream he probably spent his formative years imagining. He's got a limp that never goes away, and one time they'd all snuck into the hotel pool after hours and Paul had seen the map of scars across Teddy's torso, and sometimes Teddy reaches for the air close to his neck and makes a surprised face like he was expecting to have something their to dig his fingers into. And sometimes Teddy and Steve get maudlin and quiet and haunted and the band sort of pretends it's not happening until they snap out of it

"You ever heard of Damien Echolls?" Teddy asks instead of responding to the question, and it takes him a second but his mom is obsessed with true crime podcasts and it clicks, eventually. Paul nods solemnly, and Eddie gestures to the stage, where Steve - who is way too old to be as fit as he is, Jesus - is hopping around and hamming it up and actually doing a pretty good job of playing at a rockstar. "I'm alive and I didn't spend a couple decades locked in solitary and that stupid idiot loves me so much that sometimes I can't even imagine not loving everything about me, too."

Paul makes a gagging noise, and Teddy gives him a noogie.

"Yeah kid. I fucking hate it. But there are worse things."

---

It takes him twelve years and a whole ass law degree, but when Eddie Munson is posthumously exonerated, the band releases an EP with a dedication to the founding member of Corroded Coffin and Steve E on vocals. They're new songs, and they get away with it by pretending they'd found an old notebook buried in a storage unit and decided to honor their friend, but Teddy sort of cries a bit when he sees the songwriter credits.

He cries a lot, actually, but then, so does Paul.