#aboutraidenhumor

[bastardsunlight]

Shang Tsung: Raiden... Radiant as ev--

Kidd Thunder: KIDD THUNDERRRR!!!!

Shang Tsung: [SHRIEK] RETRIEVE YOUR ACCURSED CLONE, FOOL!!

Raiden: It does not bite.

Shang Tsung: YES, IT DOES--!!

[bastardsunlight]

@heartrip​ 

im sorry for this

[bastardsunlight]

Ice Cream!

Bite , Spoon Lick , Drink

Go!

MK MUSES 'cause I assume that is what you desire

Raiden - spoon you animals

Johnny Cage - bite, then ragerts

Scorpion - drink because fire oops

Bi-Han - lick--he's the lin kuei honeypot, much to his very chilly chagrin

Kung Lao - lick

Mileena - B I T E

Nightwolf - drink (it's a malted and he's sharing it with Fujin)

Erron Black - bite, no ragrets fuck you Cage

Rayden - [snickering]

[bastardsunlight]

I give you the quality Storm kontent (TM) this fine night XD

//I will take it.

[bastardsunlight]

"No 'shade', brother but I am going to yank it at some point." Raiden wonders if he has used this term properly.

Sometimes I am overtaken by the urge to pull Fujin’s plait. Is this the darkness returning? 

[bastardsunlight]

⚠️ Raiden, for that giant stick up his ass.

“This stick, mortal?” In a tone that says, very clearly, ‘it could be up yours in a moment.’ 

send me a ⚠️ with a reason my muse should be shamed

[bastardsunlight]

I want to grab Raiden's big, meaty chest and never let go.

“Please do not, mortal. That would be ill-advised, as I am a lightning elemental and you would experience... some discomfort.” He does not add that Shang Tsung has the habit of gouging the eyes of hapless mortals whose only transgression is to gaze upon the silvery-white hair of his celestial lover. Raiden can only imagine what might happen should one lay hands upon his divine person.

[bastardsunlight]

[Raiden] Here’s the deal, big guy. I know you’re bound to dodge the FMK I so desperately want to throw your way so in the interest of respecting your lifestyle choices I’ll hit you with this: No lightning. Would you rather fight one horse sized duck, or one hundred duck sized horses?

"I am forbidden from engaging in Mortal Kombat unless directly challenged. Neither of those scenarios include a creature with enough sentience to do so." He crosses his arms, having answered the question to the best of his ability.

[bastardsunlight]

I got this new video game plot

Basically, there's this chosen one except he’s got huge boobs, I mean some serious honkers. A real set of badonkers. Packin' some dobonhonkeros. Massive dohoonkabhankoloos Big ol' tonhongerekoogers. 

'What happens next?!' you ask? 

Thunder god shows up one day with even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. Humungous hungolomghnonoloughongous.

Dramatized version of the OG just in case you needed to crylaugh

[bastardsunlight]

assumption: raiden would go around jump starting people’s broken down cars with his hands, but as an act of kindness or a prank, unclear

//Raiden correct, kindness. Rayden also correct. Prank

[Ur cars]

[bastardsunlight]

//IM

“Get your accursed clone!”

“It does not bite.”

Another one straight from my Krypt™. this is why Shang Tsung never fucking visits when it’s Raiden’s weekend with the Kidd

I’d blame @bastardsunlight but honestly I just wanted to terrorize Shang Tsung and quote vines [insert ‘it’s what she deserves’ here]

Am I ever going to learn to draw proper comics?? no ❤️

[bastardsunlight]

//why would ye hide this in the tags!?

//The wise @sxvethelastdance and I have discussed Kidd Thunder in ridiculous detail and they’ve produced such gems as this:

“Think, how can Lord Raiden remain so calm? He possesses eons of wisdom, but would that not mean eons of stress?

Isn’t he tired of being nice? Would he not want to go apeshit? A baseline upon which Kidd Thunder’s existence operates.”

Which led, naturally, to the speculation vis a vis the Kidd being akin to Raiden’s “angry translator”. He cannot in good conscience “go apeshit” (‘til he does, which is not in good conscience, but an example of repeatedly pushing a gentle person), so the R A G E is funneled into this little entity of infinite chaos.

Someone else in the fandom (I’m sorry, I ain’t remember whomst) theorized that Raiden is the one who taught Liu Kang his trickster shit, and because Liu is who he is, (italic is me, bold is sxvethelastdance)

“Nobody will ever believe you”

Lord Raiden be like today, Liu Kang,  we learn psychological torture

And then he introduces Liu Kang to Kidd Thunder

Kidd Thunder just goes ape wild

“I thought it was a myth.”

“You were mythtaken.”

And this is where it gets divergent af ‘cause ofc we followed a different track entirely, so hang onto your bladed murder hats, kids.

I then suggest that Kung Lao, who is hiding in a tree overhearing this, has heard tales passed down in whispers by his family about a mysterious, tiny figure who looks just about exactly like Raiden, but could not be further from his personality. Naturally, I post a gif of Rayden snickering inappropriately, as one does (if one is Haokah).

Maybe one of [Kung Lao’s] ancestors devoted their life, like every waking moment, to researching what the fuck that thing is.

If anything at all, of course—thus rises the headcanon of the Kung family conspiracy nut. But wait, there’s more, because we can’t just leave shit at “he had a nutty relative who thought Kidd Thunder was a thing and wanted to research it” nope… ‘cause Kidd Thunder IS a thing. I should interject that we have also headcanoned that Kidd Thunder does NOT, for whatever reason, dig Liu Kang. More dialogue incoming; please snicker and enjoy.

Meanwhile Liu is getting his fucking face shredded by the Kidd, who is immensely jealous of him for reasons it cannot and will not articulate.

The hidden scrolls of the Kung family contain a thesis on the Kidd.

But those are very hidden, that relative was considered to be a little bit kooky

We then realized that this could be A Thing™ and so pursued it with the usual level of tenacity—the one that led to Warring Exes and New Kang.

It is said that on their deathbed, this random relative was accompanied by the Thunder god himself and that Raiden told them the secret

A rough approximation of their final words are “I was that close?”

It is said that Raiden smiled

A thing he rarely does

But that’s just an old story. It couldn’t possibly be true.

C o u l d   I t?

So from here on, it becomes less about Kidd Thunder and more about this mysterious Kung relative. If folks dig this, I might go into that, but this’s just a glimpse into how “haha jk… unless [eyes emoji]” literally drives our kreative process.