#about to be crying in an airplane bathroom rn

[kat-simss]

Little vent post here, but uh. If someone is breathing hard/loudly and you don’t know if that’s uncharacteristic of them, DON’T FUCKING POINT IT OUT

[s0urte3th]

huffy bitch

[outerbankies]

new light epilogue: new world — rafe cameron

new light series masterlist

summary: a year after you went out for drinks with rafe cameron, you’re building a life together.

pairing: rafe x reader

warnings: swearing, alcohol, mentions of sex

a/n: i’m not crying ur crying!!! for anyone who’s following along with the blurbs: i’m probably going to go back and fill in some things that take place during the time skip between part 12 and this, but this is really how i wanted to end the story for now because i always pictured it ending like this. so i hope you like it! probably going to take a tumblr break after this and focus on the shit i have going on in my life rn, so if i don’t get to any asks/comments on this right away that’s why! can't wait to read them when i get back, love youuu

my writing

and make a new world together, babe

JUNE

you’re absolutely sure he doesn’t know this time?

Um… I’d say pretty sure

graham. i swear to god

We’ve been really busy with grad shit, I promise he’ll be surprised! He acts a certain way whenever he knows you’re coming

Nora agrees with me

and he hasn’t been acting that way?

Nope. Been kinda mopey since he came back from California actually

fuck i love him

okay thanks! let me know if anything changes

Sure thing. See you soon Y/n/n

You finally put your phone in airplane mode, slipping it into your bag and trying to take a deep breath and relax. You double-checked that your heels were still in your bag, ready to be switched into once you were in the car on the way to Rafe’s ceremony.

It’d been quite the journey to this point. You, Davis, and McCall had all overslept that morning, getting a little too wrapped up in the previous night’s graduation festivities. Your friends had been packing up and trickling out of your college town in a steady stream since graduation last weekend, but last night was the big hurrah with your core group before your senior trips and new jobs took you all in separate directions, much like the rest of your lives from that point.

You’d all sleepily stumbled into the car that morning, you begging McCall to push the speed limit in her Tesla while you attempted to sort your carry-on bag out in the backseat. They’d dropped you off with cheek kisses and promises to see you in Hawaii the next day, Davis sneaking a few condoms into your purse that were very embarrassing to watch the TSA agents sort through when a stray bottle of primer had flagged you for inspection.

But you were here, in the first-class seat paid for by none other than Ward Cameron, the dress you’d shimmied into in the last plane’s bathroom not nearly as wrinkled as you’d expected, your sneakers laced tightly (after serving you well when you had to book it through the Denver airport to make your connecting flight). You were on the plane, you were headed to Georgia, you were going to make it to Rafe’s graduation ceremony just in time.

And he had no idea.

You hadn’t originally planned to come at all. Timing wasn’t on your side, because your graduation trip that you’d booked months ago started the exact day of his ceremony.

When Rafe told you his date, you hadn’t even blinked, already setting a reminder to tell Davis his travel agent would need to book you a different flight for the day after. But your boyfriend had tugged your phone out of your hand immediately, using his height advantage to hold it out if your reach.

“No. Baby, we talked about this. We wanted to enjoy our last months of college separately with our friends because we’re spending summer together anyways,” he reminded you. “You’re not missing your senior trip for me.”

“But Rafe, you’re coming to mine. And it’s your graduation,” you said. “I wouldn’t miss the trip, just be a day or two late.”

“You guys are all moving apart. I don’t want to be in the way. We can just celebrate when I come out to California after, alright?” he’d said, kissing your forehead. “It’s really not that big of a deal, sweetheart. Just another stupid weekend with my family, except I’ll be wearing a cap and gown this time.”

That was the exact second you decided to pack the issue up and pretend you were over it—looking into Rafe’s eyes while he shrugged off his achievement. You’d already wanted to be there for him, but that conversation solidified it for you, especially since you hadn’t been able to pull off a surprise trip yet.

You failed miserably in February, trying to sneak into his house for Valentine’s Day. Imagine your surprise when you came down the escalator, expecting Graham and Nora to be waiting for you. Which they were, just with Rafe at their side, holding a bouquet of roses with a shit-eating grin on his face because he’d figured it out.

You’d resolved yourself to missing his big day, prepared to watch through Sarah’s FaceTime footage, making sure Nora would send you a million pictures of him in his regalia. But the weekend before, when Rafe came to your graduation, your mom on his arm as he helped her down the stadium steps, his other hand holding onto Beckham’s while Agnes was wrangling Barron because Beau walked off on a work call, proudly wearing the pocket square you’d had made for him that matched your blue dress—you literally had no choice. Rafe waited for your entire entourage to congratulate you before he wrapped you up tight in his arms, twirling you around and whispering praises and dreams of your futures together, but you were listening with one ear while your mind raced to put a plan in place.

You called Sarah that same night, when you were able to sneak away from your dinner long enough.

“Hey, Sarah. So, I was thinking of coming out for Rafe’s grad—”

“Shut up,” she gasped immediately. “You have to. He’s literally gonna love it.”

“Really? Is… is your family gonna be okay with it?” you asked, really referring to one person in particular. “I’m not looking to intrude.”

“Oh, my dad’s right here, let me ask—”

“Oh, no, Sarah—”

Sarah’s voice faded into the background for a bit, and you could hear Ward’s timbre faintly for a little while, your nerves building.

“Thanks, dad, I’ll let her know,” Sarah said, before redirecting her attention back to you. “He says he’ll buy your ticket.”

You had to refrain from gasping. “No. That’s—I was gonna fly straight to Hawaii after. For my senior trip.”

“Yeah, he says not a problem. Can you text me your email so he can book it ASAP?” Sarah asked. “He’s looking at the flights right now.”

“Um, yeah? Yeah. Yes, I can do that. Please tell him thank you for me.”

“Cool. See you there!”

And that was that—Ward booked you the ticket and sent it over with absolutely no questions asked, first-class from California to Georgia and then from Georgia to Hawaii. Rafe had already committed to continuing his work at Cameron Development like he always planned, but Ward was still laying it on pretty thick these days.

You loved feeling like the source of Rafe’s courage to stand up to him, even if you knew he always had it in him, all on his own.

—

“You don’t think he saw me, did you?”

“Y/n, we were literally a hundred rows up in the stands. And I’m sure he’s half-drunk, there’s no way,” Sarah laughed, arm linked in yours as you both hobbled through the grass in your heels in search of Rafe. You’d both had your fair share of champagne at the hotel before the ceremony.

“I just want him to be surprised,” you reply. “So bad. He got me so good when he came out to surprise me in April.”

“He’ll be surprised, I promise. He’s been moping all—there he is!”

Rafe looks up from where he’s shaking Ward’s hand and accepting a hug from Wheezie, smiling and waving at his other sister.

It takes no time at all for him to see you then, his mouth dropping open.

“What are you doing here?” he calls, cutting through the group around him to wrap you up in his arms. He knocks into you so hard you have to hold his cap on his head for him, laughing giddily when he lifts you off the ground. He sets you down, surveying your face, hands brushing your shoulders and hair and back like he’s trying to memorize you. “You’re not here right now. This isn’t real.”

“I’m here, I’m here! You didn’t think I’d actually miss your graduation, did you RC?” you tease.

“No fucking way. Baby, your trip,” he says, face falling.

“I know. I came straight from the airport, and I have to catch a red-eye to Hawaii in about five hours,” you say, shrugging. “But it’s worth it. I’m so, so proud of you.”

“Y/n/n,” he groans, blushing.

“And after two failed attempts, I had to get in at least one surprise before you left Georgia for good,” you tease, flicking his tassel. “I’ve owed you since your birthday.”

“You never owe me anything,” he sighs, hand slipping to the small of your back. “God, I love you so much.”

“I love you, too. You’re really surprised, right? Graham didn’t let it slip?”

“Fucking Graham knew?”

“And Nora, and Cody, and Sawyer. Sarah and your dad,” you list, smirking at his blush. “Everyone but you.”

“I swear I had no idea. When did you even book it? It must’ve cost a fortune this close, sweetheart,” he murmurs, finally leaning in to plant a kiss on your lips. “Let me cover it.”

“Actually,” you say, voice dropping to a whisper after you plant a kiss on his cheek. “Your dad took care of it.”

Rafe just rolls his eyes, kissing you again, a bit longer this time but still wary of his family around him. “I guess we’ve moved officially into the bribery stage.”

“Yep.”

“Whatever. I don’t care. I’m so happy you’re here,” he says, smiling down at you, arms locking around your waist. “You know you didn’t have to come.”

“Will you stop? I wasn’t gonna miss it, Rafe,” you remind him. “My boyfriend’s a college grad, I’m not dating down anymore.”

“Oh, give me a break. You have one week on me, Einstein. Besides…” You look up at him in confusion as he trails off, fitting into his side as he walks you back toward his family. He takes his cap off, reaching over and placing it on your head instead. “You’re always gonna be dating down when you’re with me, baby.”

—

After a stuffy dinner with the Camerons, you and Rafe had just enough time to sneak away and grab a drink with Rafe’s roommates and some of his friends before you had to head back to the airport.

But Rafe seems unconcerned about time, making you both stop over at his house and marching you right upstairs, the two of you dodging half-packed moving boxes and knocking into spare beer cans when Rafe practically slams you into the kitchen counter the second you’re both inside.

“Sorry, would’ve made everyone clean if I knew you were coming,” Rafe says, cheeks bright red.

“No, I like it. Cody told me you all cleaned for a straight week before I came last time,” you laugh, breath hitching when he bites at your neck, dress strap already sliding off of your shoulder. “This is the more authentic college boyfriend experience.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t get that last time. You texted me two days after you left that you were still hungover,” he laughs, leading you up the stairs. You’re thankful that at least his bed is still made, your favorite blanket of his tucked to one side. Your side. “And sore.”

“Yeah, hadn’t drank like that or hooked up with a frat boy that many times since I was a freshman,” you say, laughing loudly when he pouts. “C’mon, we’re on a time crunch if I still wanna see Nora before I leave.”

“Oh, excuse me,” he laughs. “Forgot she’s the real reason you come out here.”

“Exactly, that’s my girl.”

“Well you’re my girl,” he says, finally getting your dress up and over your arms. He pauses, leaning back on his haunches when he sees the lingerie that’s underneath. “Are you wearing my school colors?”

—

You both stumble down the street to the bar, you wearing the leggings and sneakers you’d shoved to the bottom of your bag plus one more of Rafe’s shirts—a favorite you’d been eyeing for a while, waiting for the right moment to take it.

“You owed me anyways,” you tell him, swinging your hands back and forth, tucking in close to him as you dodge more and more drunk graduates the closer you get to town. “I was the only one who had protection on hand.”

“Oh, sorry I already packed my condoms because I didn’t think my girlfriend was going to come spend five hours in my city,” he laughs, pulling you under his arm with a kiss on your forehead. “But remind me to write Davis a thank you card.”

“There he is! Cameron!”

Rafe’s roommates and a couple friends you recognize are on the patio when you both arrive at their favorite bar, all dressed in varied forms of their regalia, and all drunk. Graham waves the two of you over, eyes lit up as he accepts a hug from you. “Did you get him, Y/n/n?”

“You fucking idiot, dude,” Rafe laughs, dapping him up. He looks accusingly at his other roommates, Cody and Saywer. “Guys, our place is a mess right now.”

“She wanted you to be surprised!” Nora says, sidling up to you with two White Claws and a hug. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks, I can’t,” you say, accepting the hug but not the drink, waving at his other roommates. “Have to get back to the airport in like an hour.”

“Oh come on, that’s enough time for a drink,” Cody says, grabbing the can out of Nora’s hand and popping the tab before shoving it into yours. “You only graduate college once, Y/n/n.”

“Hey, man. Ease up on her—” Rafe starts, only to stop himself when you take a long swig, shrugging. “Alright. Never mind.”

“One won’t hurt,” you say.

Rafe settles into a bar chair, arms around your shoulders so he can tuck you in between his legs while you both talk to his friends. You check in with him every now and then while you, Saywer, and Nora talk post-grad, always getting a blissful smile and usually a sloppy kiss in return (“I’m good, baby”), especially the more shots he accepts as the night wears on. You knew he and Cody were going shot for shot tonight, which never ended well for either of them.

Nora walks off once a friend from the other side of the patio announces that Graham just ate shit, dragging Saywer with her to help, and you finally turn around in Rafe’s arms, knowing your time together is running out.

“How are you? Sad?” you ask, rolling your eyes when he downs the rest of his beer, throwing the cup into a recycling can nearby—a far cry from the way he’d crushed it and thrown it on the ground last time he brought you to this bar. You had set him straight pretty quickly.

“Mm. A little,” he says. “But how can I be that sad when you’re here?”

“Sap,” you say. “Love you.”

“Love you, too. Can’t believe we get to spend the summer together. And the rest of our lives,” he says, eyes glassy while he thumbs at your cheek. “We finally got to the good part.”

“It hasn’t all been the good part?” you tease, leaning up to kiss him.

He hums against your lips, pulling off and looking at you in consideration. “Of course it has. But everything’s better when I’m with you for real. Just feel right whenever I’m next to you, baby girl.”

“You keep sweet-talking me like that and I’m gonna make you call your dad to tell him he needs to change my ticket.”

Rafe stands up straight, digging around in his pockets for his phone. “Say the word.”

“Stop,” you laugh. “We’re not doing that.”

“Alright, alright. Did he get you a car? I’ll call it,” he says, nudging you back so he can stand up. You say bye to his roommates and friends, stumbling back against Rafe when Cody literally slams his entire body weight into you, making Nora and Graham promise to come to visit you both in California that summer.

Rafe confirms the driver’s coming before pulling you back into his arms on the sidewalk outside the bar. “My California girl. All the way out here for me.”

“Just for you.”

“Love you so much, seriously,” he says. “My dream girl.”

You roll your eyes at his lessened filter, even if it makes your heart sing. “Love you, too. Now go celebrate with your friends.”

He groans. “Do I have to? I can probably just book the seat next to yours. We’d have fun in Hawaii.”

“Rafe, you’re drunk. You’re coming out in a week to spend the whole summer with me.”

“So? Think about it,” he says, snapping excitedly. “And we still haven’t fucked on a plane.”

“Rafe!”

He laughs, kissing your forehead. “I’m sorry. That was out of pocket. I’m really drunk.”

“Oh my god,” you laugh, extracting yourself from him as a black car pulls up. “Please get home in one piece and take some painkillers before you go to sleep tonight.”

“Maybe,” he shrugs. “Safe flight. Thanks for coming, baby. It means a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me.”

“Now I’m blushing, Y/l/n,” he groans. “Seriously. Have a good trip, I expect at least one bikini picture a day. But that’s a minimum.”

“Yes, sir,” you say, getting in one more kiss before slipping into the car, body on fire when his hand rests over the front of your throat, pulling off once he’s had enough. You roll the window down once you’re settled into the SUV, blowing him a kiss as your driver pulls away. “Love you!”

Rafe pretends the kiss knocked him back forcefully, definitely aided by the alcohol in his system, catching it in his hand and putting it in his pocket. He smiles big, cupping his hands around his mouth to shout after you. “Love you more!”

—

JULY

“I think I owe you an apology, Rafe.”

Rafe looks over where Beau had approached him, begrudgingly tearing his eyes away from where you’d been pushing Beckham on the swing in the backyard.

You’d been nothing short of a wreck all week leading up to the last time you’d get to see the kids before you left them for good. They’d known for a while—Rafe recalls the night in early May where he’d left a party when you called him sobbing because the day came where you explained to them that you wouldn’t be with them forever. Apparently, they had both cried, which made you cry, and then Agnes cried—it was an entire mess. Rafe felt helpless in comforting you, and if he hadn’t just surprised you in California a month before that, he would’ve been on the next flight. He definitely checked after he heard the wobble in your voice when you said good night to him.

He knew tonight was going to be hard, so he’d been watching you like a hawk because of it, asking Beau to repeat himself.

“Sorry, what’s that?”

“When we first met, last fall?” Beau reminds him. “I feel like I came on too strong.”

“Oh,” Rafe nods, shaking his head like that conversation hadn’t partially led to him breaking up with you. “No worries. At all.”

“I never told you this, but I got a bit of a scolding from my lady over that one,” he laughs. “And yours, actually. I’m surprised she even let you shadow me this summer.”

He has Rafe’s full attention now. You stood up to your boss for him? “Really?”

“I could tell she hated it,” Beau laughs, sipping from his whiskey tumbler. “She tip-toed around it for as long as she could.”

“Well, I’m sorry if that was—”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s one of the reasons we liked having her around for so long,” he says, smiling fondly. “So, back home you both go?”

“Yeah,” Rafe smiles, turning back to watch you. You’re sitting in the grass now, talking with Agnes, both boys running around the two of you. You switch between keeping an eye on the kids and listening to Agnes like it’s second nature. He catches your gaze momentarily and you shoot him a half-smile; he can tell by the look in your eyes that you’re just barely holding it together. “Moving her home in two weeks.”

“Very nice. Well, I loved having you at the company this summer,” he says, shaking Rafe’s hand now. “And you probably don’t want to hear this, but I have a job waiting for you anytime you want.”

“I—can I be honest? I love it out here,” Rafe admits. “And I love Y/n, and Y/n loves it out here. But I really just can’t picture us settling down anywhere but home.”

Beau laughs. “Settling down? You two are what, 22?”

“Yeah,” Rafe blushes.

“You have plenty of time to settle down. You could spend a few years out here, go somewhere else. Travel, go back to school. Then go home, have your babies, work for your dad, whatever,” he says, patting him on the back. “You two have a whole life ahead of you. Don’t ever rule anything out.”

“Yeah,” Rafe says, considering. “You’re probably right. I mean, we’re gonna go home for now, but. It’s not like we have to stay there?”

“Absolutely not,” Beau agrees.

“Thanks for everything, man. Really, for the guidance, for taking care of my girlfriend for all these years,” he says. “She loves you guys, really.”

“Anytime. Good luck back home with your dad,” he says. “We plan to sail by there in April, I think? Let’s talk again then.”

—

Rafe all but chases you to the car after you’re both done saying goodbye, a little underwhelmed by your reaction if he’s honest. You’d just squeezed them both extra tight, hugged Agnes and Beau, and started right down the path outside, barely giving him time to catch up after he bid them all goodbye as well.

“Y/n,” he calls, racing to catch up with you as you pace down the walkway. He grabs your hand but you shake him off instantly, making his heart sink. “Are you okay?”

“Please unlock the door.”

“Shit, yeah. Sorry, baby,” he says, fumbling with your keys in his pocket. You don’t even wait for him to open the door for you, slipping into the car so quickly he almost misses it, sighing before walking around to get in the driver’s seat.

“You need to drive now,” you say quietly.

“What?”

“I really don’t want them to see me cry again, Rafe,” you say, voice wobbling. “Please.”

You finally face him, giving Rafe a clear view of your red-rimmed eyes, and he’s backing out within seconds. Not without pressing a kiss to the side of your head first. “Of course, alright. Let’s go.”

You’re barely out of the gate before he hears sniffles. He looks over and you’re not even blotting your tears as soon as they fall, just letting them stream down your face, which is how Rafe knows you’re really upset. He reaches over to rest a hand on your leg and you clutch it immediately, and he can feel your tremors. He gives it a few blocks before he’s pulling over.

“Rafe, what are you—”

He’s rounding the front of your Jeep and coming to open your door back up in an instant.

“Rafe.”

“Stop, are you okay?” he asks.

You immediately shake your head. “No.”

You click your seatbelt off, falling into his arms immediately when he tugs you out of

the car. He’s sure the two of you look crazy, pulled over in this nice neighborhood, holding each other on the side of the road. And Rafe couldn’t care less, only focused on the way you’re breaking down in his arms currently. He can’t remember the last time he saw you cry like this, but it was probably because of him.

“They’re never gonna forget you, sweet girl. You probably made such a difference in their lives, you don’t even know.”

“Rafe,” you sob, just digging your head into his chest more. “Beckham won’t remember anything about me. Barron might, but—”

“Breathe, Y/n/n. I’m serious, you’re scaring me,” he says softly.

“I know, I know,” you say, pushing out of his arms to collect yourself for a second. You fan your eyes, wiping some of the mascara streaks you’d accumulated as much as you can, Rafe reaching out to help. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Just want you to be okay.” Rafe tucks some hair behind your ear, pleased at the way your shoulders are less shaky, your cheeks a bit drier. “Are you?”

“I will be. They were just my little buddies, you know? When I got the job, I just never thought…” you trail off, your face crumpling again. “I didn’t think I could love anyone that much besides my family.”

The joke falls off his lips as a reflex, before he can even think it through. “Not even me?”

“You don’t count,” you reply quickly.

“I don’t count?” he asks, grabbing your chin.

You shrug, a little smile finally gracing your features. “Wouldn’t really be fair to anyone else.”

Rafe’s body goes warm from head to toe, and he pulls you back into his arms for his own reasons, pressing kisses to the top of your head over and over. “Can I take you home, now? Or do you still need some time?”

“No, no. I’m good,” you sigh, shaking out your shoulders and getting back into the car. “Thanks.”

Rafe kisses your forehead once he’s back in the driver’s seat.

“I love you, Y/n/n.”

“How much?” you ask.

He laughs despite himself. “How much? What kind of a question is that?”

“Enough to give me a baby?”

Rafe’s mouth goes dry, he nearly slams on the breaks, arm instinctively reaching out to catch your body against the seat if he needed to. “Excuse me?”

“A baby.”

“A baby? Like… a human baby?”

“Yeah. I could give you one like right now,” you say matter-of-factly.

Rafe laughs again. “Jesus Christ, Y/n/n.”

“I’m serious! What am I gonna do without them?”

“Can we at least start with a dog?” he says, pulling up to a stoplight. You have a sly smile on your face when he looks over, and he just rolls his eyes. “Or a fish, or something, like—fuck. You can’t just say shit like that to me without warning, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” you nod. “Warning: I’m about to tell you that I want to have your baby.”

“Y/n.”

“Rafe, give me a baby.”

“We’re 22.”

“And?”

“We’re babies.”

—

“I’m gonna miss these tacos so much.”

“Me too. Should we book our first visit with Wren and Delilah now, or…” Rafe trails off, smiling.

You roll your eyes from your position on the floor, sitting across from Rafe in your empty living room. Davis and McCall had both moved out last week, and Rafe had been helping you slowly but surely sell all of your furniture and ship back your things, so the townhouse was practically empty at this point. There were just a few more things to pack up tonight before you left the keys for your landlord and headed off. Rafe was gonna miss it out here, too. He loved visiting you when you were still in school and loved spending the summer living with you even more. Rafe really felt like he made a place from himself in this part of your life, which was hard for him at the beginning. But you’d made all of your favorite places his favorite places too, cleared out half of your bathroom so he could fill it with his stuff—way too much room for him, he ended up letting you reclaim almost all of it. You both joked about it being practice for when you moved in together one day, but to Rafe the joke became less and less funny every time he woke up to you pressed up against him, your hair a mess. Every time he came home from a day in Beau’s office to you answering emails at your desk, reaching up to give him a kiss before you wrapped up for the day and you two went to dinner. Every time you brushed your teeth together or planned recipes to make and went to buy the groceries for it, bickering over organic produce or vegan substitutes.

He loved every single second. All of it.

Rafe shakes his head. “Are you sad?”

“Yeah,” you admit easily, shrugging. “I dunno. Think I’m done crying.”

“No, you’re not,” Rafe laughs.

“No, I’m not. You might have to physically drag me onto that plane tomorrow.”

Rafe smiles as he finishes his food, but he can’t help the sinking feeling he gets watching you look around, taking in your empty college apartment.

“You’re sure about this, right?”

“What?”

“Moving. Leaving.”

“Rafe…” you say, frowning.

“Don’t—don’t do anything just for me, I mean it, Y/n/n,” he says. “Say the word and I can help you find a place out here, I’m sure Beau has something he can rent to you, or—”

“Woah, woah,” you say, scooting closer to him. “What are you talking about? I’m not staying out here, Rafe.”

“But do you want to?”

“What are you saying right now?”

“I just, fuck.” He sighs and takes his hat off, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand and running his fingers through his hair a few times before settling it back on his head. “I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing you to move home. ‘Cause, I know when we broke up—baby, you know I’d long distance you from like, Bali at this point, right?”

“Bali.”

“Yeah, or like. I dunno. Somewhere really far. Complete opposite time zones,” he says. “I know I could handle it. If it’s what you wanted.”

“I want,” to say, knocking your knee into his, “to move home. At least for now.”

“You’re just so sad,” he says. “I don’t want to make you sad.”

“You’re not making me sad,” you reply. “Well, you kind of are right now, actually.”

“Sweetheart.”

“No, stop.” You nudge his knee with yours again, resting your head on his shoulder. “I wanna be with you, Rafe. Of course I do. But I promise you being home too is just a bonus.”

“I didn’t think it’d be this hard for you to leave, I guess. I hate seeing you this upset, and if I had any hand in it, I’d hate that even more,” he murmurs.

“Well of course I’m sad, Rafe. I made a life here, I made friends, a home. And now it’s time to move on,” you explain. “It’s sad, but that’s how it works.”

“But that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“No regrets?” he says, finally facing you.

“Not one. Plus—I dunno.”

“What?”

“I feel like this might not be the last time I live out here. Or… we live out here?” you shrug, voice going quieter. “If that’s something you’d want one day.”

“Yeah?”

“Just have a feeling. When Agnes and Beau get back, I dunno. We can see what happens.”

“Beau practically hired me already,” he admits.

You roll your eyes, kissing his cheek. “I’m sure he did.”

“I liked working for him. I could see it. One day,” Rafe shrugs, not wanting to put too much stock into it right now.

“Wherever I go, Rafe… you know you’re part of my plan now, right? Am I part of yours?”

You are my plan, he thinks. “Of course. Always, from here on out.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

You finally lean in to kiss him, seemingly satisfied with how that conversation ended up. But then you groan. “God, can’t believe we got to spend the entire summer living together and now we have to go back to sneaking into each other’s parents' houses.”

Rafe clears his throat, huffing a laugh before going to kiss your head.

“Yeah, that’s crazy.”

—

AUGUST

“You said we’re gonna be quick right? I already told Blythe we were on the way.“

“You guys are like, besties now, huh?” Rafe smiles, turning into the neighborhood.

“I think dragging both of our inebriated boyfriends out of that club in St. Bart’s while she talked the police down from citing both of you for public intoxication really brought us together,” you deadpan.

Rafe grins while he faces the road. “That was a fun trip, wasn’t it?”

“Baby, we literally lost Kelce in a foreign country for three hours. And had to send the deckhands to look for him because we were all too drunk.”

“They found him though, right? He was fine. And they got their tip,” Rafe shrugs. He pulls up to the listing he wanted to swing by before the wedding you were en route to—some friend of Ward’s, you think. Or maybe one of Topper’s cousins. You’d been back in Kildare less than a month but you were already settling back into your bustling social calendar, now combined with Rafe’s. Wedding season was always busy, but you don’t see yourself getting sick of twinkly-lit, champagne-clouded dances with your boyfriend to old love songs anytime soon. “Anyways. We’re here, come inside?”

You reach over the console, putting a hand on his chest in shock. “Are you asking me to come up for a drink? Rafe, I’m usually more of a fourth or fifth date kinda girl.”

His eyes narrow. “Hold on, I bedded you in between our second and third date. Who were you waiting for the fourth date with?”

“Let’s go inside!” you announce, kissing his cheek and undoing your seatbelt.

Rafe doesn’t let you get far, bringing your face back to his with a firm hand under your jaw. “Easy just for me, huh?”

“I will literally stay in the car,” you warn him.

“No, no,” he rushes firmly, almost startling you as he scrambles out of his own seat. “C’mon, I want you to see this one. Need your opinion.”

He comes around to open your door, and you can’t help but notice the nervous look on his face as he stares at the house. It’s white, one story with a nice front porch. It’s a little south of where you two grew up near the Island Club, tucked into a nice neighborhood of mismatched houses instead of in one of the newer subdivisions that were popping up in this area of town. You’ve always liked this area of Kildare—it can feel really homey compared to Figure 8.

“Rafe,” you say, calling for his attention. His head whips back around, holding his hand out for you as you step down from his truck.

“Sorry, you got it?”

“Yeah, just,” you say, adjusting your dress around you so it falls how it’s supposed to. “Okay, there.”

“You ready?”

You look at him oddly, still slowly nodding your head.

“Alright, come take a look.”

“Why are we here again?”

“Rose just wanted me to check on some staging stuff for her,” he says quickly. “Her assistant was supposed to finish up yesterday and she hasn’t had time to come see for herself.”

“Oh, alright,” you nod as he unlocks the front door, hand on your back guiding you inside. You glance around briefly before instinctively grabbing his arm, steadying yourself as you slip off your shoes.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about shoes for this one,” he says. You pause.

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. We’ll only be here for a second,” he says.

“Okay,” you shrug, leaving them as is.

Rafe grabs your hand, leading you through the entryway and into the main area of the house. “It’s a rental. What do you think?”

“The windows are gorgeous,” you say, looking out to where they overlook the water in the distance. It’s tucked a bit further into the neighborhood, but you can still see the horizon past the rest of the houses. “So much light in here. And Rose did a great job with the staging.”

“I’ll tell her you said that,” Rafe smiles.

“How many bedrooms is it?” you ask, peeking around to the hallway leading to the other side of the house.

“Just one, and then there’s a sunroom up front,” he gestures. “You really like it?”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling at him. “It’d be so cute for a young family or something. The backyard and everything. I like the white cabinets.”

“Or,” Rafe starts, taking a deep breath, squeezing your hand tightly. You cock your head, waiting for him to continue. “It might be perfect for two college grads who just moved back home, and are already sick of sneaking into each other’s parent’s houses after waiting a year to finally live in the same city again?”

You freeze mid-nod as Rafe pulls a spare key out of his pocket. He lifts your connected hands, placing the key in your palm and closing your fingers around it.

“Rafe Cameron.”

And then you take one more look around, everything shifting into place. There’s no flyers on the counter, no water bottles or any freebies for any prospective renters.

Rafe hadn’t used the coded door lock (you should’ve noticed, it made your heart flutter the few times Rafe took you to check on listings for Rose and Ward and tried to hide the fact that he used your birthday as his entry code), the key already on his key ring. He didn’t make you take off your shoes, or even wear the little covers like you do sometimes so you won’t track in dirt. You glance over his shoulder to the hallway again, noticing his golf clubs leaning up against the closet door.

This isn’t for show—this house is leased.

“You—you didn’t.”

“It’s totally fine if it’s too fast. I told my dad I wanted to rent a property because I’m more than ready to move out, and of course you’re welcome any time if you still want to live at home or, I don’t know, find your own place maybe?” he says all in one breath. “But, sweetheart… I’d love to have you here with me. Permanently.”

“Rafe fucking Cameron,” you say, tears already building on your waterline. “Are you sure?”

“Baby, of course I’m sure,” he tuts, hands on your shoulders. “Like I said, it’s just a rental. Month-to-month, so nothing serious if we ever wanna move back to the mainland or find a new place here or—“

“No, Rafe, don’t—this is serious. I want it.”

“You do? You wanna move in together?”

You throw your arms around his shoulders, giggling when he lifts you off the ground. “Of course I do. I was thinking—I thought you didn’t wanna move in with me.”

“Wait, what? Why?”

“I dunno,” you say, fanning your eyes where tears had collected. “After we came home, it just never came up and I thought maybe our trial run in California scared you off because of my skincare or my smoothies or how much I cry—”

“Are you crazy? No. I loved living with you,” he says quickly. “I haven’t slept right in weeks unless you let me come over.”

“The sweetest boy,” you croon, squeezing him tight. “I’m literally so in love with you right now.”

He hugs you for a second longer, letting you down when he hears a sniffle. “Baby, you spent so long on your makeup.”

He blots his thumb under your waterline like you’d taught him, wiping any mascara residue on his black pants.

“Because I didn’t know my perfect boyfriend was going to surprise me with a perfect house on the way to this wedding,” you huff, pulling out of his hold and taking a deep breath. You look around, taking the place in with fresh eyes. Your first home with Rafe, the beginning of your life together. “I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it. C’mon, let me show you our bedroom.”

—

“What would you have done if I just absolutely hated the place?”

Rafe laughs, tugging you in closer as the two of you sway around the dance floor at the reception. “Pretended it actually was a listing, then gone and found a place you liked. And probably died a little inside.”

“Nice, that makes sense.”

“You do actually like it though, right? If not, I can—“

“Nope, I already have plans for that sunroom,” you smile, leaning up to kiss him. “Our sunroom. All the plants you’ve got me are gonna look so cute in there.”

“I think the porch could fit a swing,” he says, cheeks red.

“And the backyard will be perfect for our future dog.”

“Dogs. Plural.”

“Plural?”

“Yeah. Like at least six,” he laughs, kissing your head. “I can’t believe this is it now, baby. We’re just doing life together from now on.”

You reach up and push some strands of hair that had fallen out of his gel back for him, fingers tugging at the ends where they’re flipping up near his shirt collar.

“Rafe, I’m not sure I wanna stay here forever.”

He nods, hand tightening on your back. “I know, me either.”

“You mean it?”

“I mean it. Maybe one day, yeah. I’d wanna stay here for good,” he explains. “Especially if Dylan or Sarah and Wheez stick around, too. I just want—this is our home, sweetheart. It’s where I fell in love with you. I want to end up here one day, I want our kids to grow up with their cousins and grandparents.”

You lean up and kiss him, because that’s the first time he’s ever brought up kids on his own. And he still meant way in the future, but it was something to confirm he’d thought about it, too. “Me too.”

“And I have to give it a shot with my dad. If I ever want our relationship to work in the long run,” he sighs.

“I get it,” you assure him. “I’m gonna worry about you, but. As long as you know I’m here for you.”

“I do. And I love you.”

“I love you. I’m going wherever you go from now on, Cameron.”

He twirls you around. “Like I’d go anywhere without you, anyway.”

“True.”

“Can’t let you out of my sight. Somehow I tricked you into falling in love with me, now I just have to keep an eye on it.”

“Think that might’ve been the other way around,” you protest. “I’m pretty sure I’ve somehow had you on lock for years, RC.”

“But there were no tricks. I’m actually surprised that not everyone who’s ever met you isn’t in love with you.”

“Even if they were, none of it would matter,” you say. “Not if I have you.”

“You do have me. You always have.”

—

@moniamaybank @downbytheouterbanks @littlementalpolaroids @fangirlvoice @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @pogueslandia @loveylangdon @oopsiedoopsie23 @sodasback @rafeseggplant @cooper8224 @rafeyybabyy @lemur46 @cameronsrafe @judayyyw @irlpadfoot @synonymforlame @mildkleptomaniac @ilymarkchan @sofiatheseconf @hockeyshmockey @supersouthy @coffeeandcrimeshows @emptyloverofmine @gublerspublers @infinitleyethereal @nerdypartytrashpsychic @mrs-cameron @tcmhollnd @nicavass @sakikos @catonthesideoftheroad @jemimah-b99 @depressinq @svechnibrock @lostaurorax @wildflower98 @babygirl2022 @lieswithoutfairytales @painlesslies @messagesinthesky @orrsoared @destourtereaux @sammywilscn @tylernagle @anonymousobxfan @lilacsandwhiskey @mardema @princesspogue @alwaysclassyeagle

[spencersmagic]

can we talk about how most all artists have developed their creative voice through the pandemic and the other horrible, life-changing things we've gone through? it's bittersweet, but so beautiful at the same time, to see my favs expressing themselves in such unique ways.

billie went from being purple to golden, harry is writing such sweet, coffee-shop-y, 90s soft disco/indie music, rosalia wrote a freaking collage instead of an album, mitski is getting louder in some strange way...

here's my opinion of harry's house:

music for a sushi restaurant: felt very 90s video game energy. i woke up and the first thing i did was listen to this, and i want to set it as my alarm. i would wake up with a smile on my face, ready to complete my little tasks of the day.

late night talking: i really just wanted to get up and dance. the harmonies are amazing. just. wow.

grapejuice: right off the bat, i'm horny. it's a hot song. H de horny, de harry, de "here i am: comeme todo el grapejuice". i want to have sex to it. the counting? my insides are twirly. but it's also weirdly romantic? like, we know, harry. you've had sex and it feels great.

as it was: disco crying. it feels like sobbing in the floor of a narrow bathroom at a party hosted by someone who hasn't acknowledged you all night. you can try to fool us with the jumping, fun music video but we know the truth. it's sad.

daylight: the lyrics. he's on the roof and they are on an airplane???? he's trying to reach them. i'm crying. also at 1:05 when the drums come in???? it feels so helpless. he's trying so hard. + the ending? devastating.

little freak: you're walking out of the bathroom at a party after crying. tear-streaked, lights everywhere but on you. you're insignificant. little do you know, someone is watching you as you look down to your feet. they're forcing their twitching hands to stay still, and if they don't concentrate hard enough, their body might just intuitively reach to you.

matilda: sobbing in big sister. literally, crying in the library in front of the books i study for everybody but myself. "you don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own". also that 7th on the outro?? goosebumps. i am a new person after listening to matilda.

cinema: okay i was definitely spiraling and this is the best. i can't wait to get the vinyl and listen to this at 2am. "do you think i'm cool too, or am i too into you?". that's it. the adlibs on the last 45 seconds. i'm alone this evening at home, and i'm definitely going to scream the adlibs. pray for the neighbours.

daydreaming: okay harry we get it. you're good at sex. you're a romantic guy.

keep driving: summer. listening to this song after failing my drivers test. driving in a convertible with a bandana on your hair, eyes closed and arms in the sky, laughing with your whole chest. did he just say side-boob? as he should.

satellite: bo burnham spiraling vibes. it's so bittersweet. you know when you're hanging out with a friend and someone they know comes up and starts talking to them? and you're standing on the side, waiting to be interesting enough to resume whatever you were doing? like a satellite.

boyfriends: i genuinely don't give a shit about harry's sexuality, but i hope he finds peace. now, onto the commentary. men are trash. it's vulnerability, it's trying over and over again. what's worse: it's asking him to try. it's him dismissing you. it's confusion. this one broke me.

love of my life: again - the harmonies??? hyperventilating rn, and im not even joking. a love letter. AAAAAH THE PIANO THINGY. I'M SHAKING. THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

[florenceandthemachine]

sweet nothing (e, 1k) for @eddiesdiaz (and anyone else needing a little buckley-diaz family love rn)

“Hey, Buck? You and Daddy are in love, right?”

The question, though surprising, definitely brought a smile to Buck’s face as he shifted Chris in his arms, keys in one hand as he went to the door. They had just spent the better portion of the day in a flat, near-desert stretch just out of the city limits, where the air was dry and clear and there wasn’t a car for miles around. Chris had been dying to try out one of his birthday presents—a remote control airplane from Aunt Sophia, with an extra large controller so Chris could grip it easily. The thing basically flew itself, honestly, but that didn’t stop Chris from lighting up with pure joy as he made the plane circle lazily around them.

A day in the sun, a quick stop for dinner, and Chris was about beat, cuddling into Buck’s arms as he hip-checked the door of the Jeep closed (Buck considered himself getting off lucky, honestly—he got to carry Chris while Eddie had to empty the car? No comparison there).

He hummed happily as Chris nuzzled into his shoulder, keys turning in the lock. “We sure are, kid. I love your Daddy, and he loves me, and we both love you very much.” As if the universe was confirming that fact, he felt the key knock against the simple gold band against his ring finger as he pocketed his keys, thumb rubbing over the inside of the band—an instinct that he had developed very quickly in the three weeks since Eddie had proposed.

“And you’re gonna stay with us forever, right?” Chris asked, punctuated by a yawn, glasses discarded from the moment he fell asleep in the Jeep. Buck gave a small chuckle as he flicked on the lights in Chris’ bedroom, helping him pull his shirt off over his head and change into pajamas, his little body slowed by hours of exertion in the best possible way.

“Buddy, not even an earthquake or a tsunami could keep me away from my favorite Diaz boy—that’s you, by the way.” Buck said with a stage whisper, giving a little wink as Chris giggled. He was glad that he had finally gotten to the point where he could talk about the tsunami without breaking out in hives; Chris was a huge part of that, undoubtedly, his tiny spirit doing wonders to move Buck past his own trauma.

Chris had taken an instant shine to talking about the wedding, which, in retrospect, wasn’t that surprising—to a kid, Buck figured that a wedding was basically a big party with his entire family and all his friends.

And cake. Cake really had been the primary topic of Chris’ questions when it came down to wedding-talk.

As Chris walked himself to the bathroom, Buck opened the bedroom door in time to lean out to press a quick kiss to Eddie’s lips, taking Chris’ classes from his hand, putting them in their place on Chris’ dresser. The little moments, the shared kisses in the hall and the innocence of their intimate moments as a family, that was really what Buck lived for now; even now, as he caught Chris’ wrinkled expression, clearly grossed out by his dad getting a kiss in such close proximity to where he stood as he came out of the bathroom.

Buck felt himself fight the urge to yawn as Chris did again, rolling his shoulders to get some blood flowing as he helped Chris into bed, pulling the covers up tight around him as he turned on the fan on his bedside table. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Chris’ head, grinning as the kid giggled again—a far cry from the grossed-out reaction he had to Buck kissing Eddie in the hall. “Hey Buck?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“I’m glad that you and my dad are gonna be husbands.”

Buck felt a smile spread across his face as Eddie slipped into the doorway behind him, his hand on Buck’s hips as Buck’s hand hovered over the light switch. Chris’ eyes were already closed as Eddie pulled him a little closer, chin resting on Buck’s shoulder easily as Buck beamed. “Me too, buddy.”

“And I’m glad you’re going to be my dad, too.”

Buck felt the air leave his body in a soft whoosh as Chris’ words sunk in, his grip on the doorframe suddenly white knuckled. He felt, more than anything, the smile on Eddie’s face as the arm around him tightened, leaning his head in ever so slightly to brush against Buck’s jawline. When he was able to breathe again, recovered from his stunned silence, Chris was already asleep, the activities of the day finally winning out and pushing him deeper into the pillows. It was all Buck could do to lean down, giving another barely-there kiss to Chris’ forehead, and click the lights off before he closed the door behind him. 

Eddie was there, as usual, all soft smiles and strong touches to show there was no room for argument there—there was no chance that Chris or Eddie would see him as anything else, no matter how loudly his self doubt screamed otherwise, no matter how much of a fuckup he was afraid he would be. 

Chris wanted him to be his dad. Eddie wanted him to be his husband. Buck didn’t know how he got so lucky at this point in his life, but he certainly wasn’t going to let it go—even if it did feel a little selfish to drink it in like he wanted to.

Clearing his throat, Buck sunk into Eddie’s arms with a small smile, trying to inject some levity into the situation as they stood in the middle of the hall. “You better watch out, Diaz. I’m going to be the best dad ever.” Buck said, tactfully ignoring the wetness in his voice, thoroughly unprepared for the soft look that crossed over Eddie’s face as he leaned in for another kiss. 

“Oh, Buck. You already are.”

[imagine-organization-xiii]

May you do organization members in an airport or on a plane? If it hasn’t been done already

Sorry to bother lol I love your blog!

You aren’t a bother, love!! We discussed this in the chat and it was pretty great, so everyone: a lot of credit to Dochas, Matthew, rue, and Icestream Glimmerwing, and azul.chiaki

-

Plane rides are wild with the organization members, whether it’s a public flight with a bunch of people or just the fourteen of them scattered across the aisles. Some of them have no idea what ‘personal space’ means, someone is inevitably going to get locked in the bathroom the entirety of the flight, and there’s going to be one who’s going to almost get thrown out of the plane. It doesn’t matter if they’re going to a business meeting across the world or to an amusement park or on vacation or something - it’s going to be chaos.

Xigbar reclines all the way back in his seat no matter who he’s around. He won’t kick seats if the people around him are nice and quiet, but be an asshole and you’re going to get kicked throughout the entire flight. Will absolutely want to join the mile high club or sleep with the flight attendant.

Vexen and Xaldin will inevitably get stopped at the baggage claim. Vexen will not get strip searched. Xaldin usually will. There will absolutely be some sort of fight or argument - Xaldin is complacent, though annoyed to know that he was singled out because TSA Agents are usually awful - but rest assured that Vexen and probably Xigbar will get pulled out of line and almost arrested.

TSA Agent: *finds a bottle of hand lotion in Vexen’s bags* Sir, you aren’t allowed to bring this on the plane.

Vexen: It’s just lotion! My hands get dry very easily and this is an expensive brand!

TSA Agent: We need you to dispose of it, sorry for the inconvenience.

Xigbar, from where he’s standing behind Vexen in line and is listening to the conversation: Don’t let him fool you, that’s his jack off lotion

Vexen, tired and fed up with airport security and Xigbar: Sir, this man has a weapon in his pocket.

Xaldin and Lexaeus need that first class upgrade, but it’s expensive so they just binge a bit on the expanded “Comfort Plus” seats. Their limbs are just too big to fit on the tinier seats.

But there are some people who inevitably end up in first class. Saix is usually the one who orders the plane tickets in the first place, but you can bet your ass that Xemnas is going to call the airline to immediately update his ticket to first class so he doesn’t have to be by himself with the other org members. Turns out, Marluxia does the same thing. This man rolls up to the plane with Starbucks and wearing Gucci sweats and bypasses all of them (usually with Larxene) to go to first class and everybody is like ‘what the hell’

Turns out, well. Neither Xemnas nor Marluxia realized that they both upgraded their seats, and neither are happy to realize that they ended up sitting next to each other in first class.

Marluxia, to the flight attendant: Ma’am, I will give you $500 if you kick this man off of the plane while we’re in the air.

Without fail, Zexion is always mistaken for a minor. The staff at the airport keep stopping and asking him if he’s looking for his parents and he gets so aggravated he just goes, “No, my parents are dead.”

Vexen and Lexaeus end up having to rescue him because they feel bad and they can see how aggravated he’s getting. Xigbar tells their flight attendant that Lexaeus and Vexen are Zexion’s recently married adopted gay dads and both Lexaeus and Vexen have no idea why everyone is congratulating them.

Some random stranger: I know you don’t know me, but I just want to tell you that you’re really inspiring and it’s so sweet that the two of you adopted that nice boy.

Vexen and Lexaeus: what the fuck are you talking about

Luxord ends up sleeping through most of the flight. He inevitably falls asleep about fifteen minutes in, eye mask on, mouth open, ear buds in his ears and music blaring loudly. It annoys the shit out of anyone who sits next to him because Luxord will inevitably tilt to the side and sleep on their shoulder through the whole flight. The only one who puts up with it is Xaldin, who usually ends up falling asleep, too.

Axel, who ended up sitting next to Luxord: Hey Zexion, can I borrow one of your pink highlighters?

Zexion, who’s busying himself with doing one of those foreign language programs on the in-flight TV’s: Uh, sure. What do you need it for?

Axel: I’m going to see how much I can draw on Luxord’s face before he wakes up.

Zexion, handing a stack of multi-colored highlighters to Axel: Go nuts, man

Poor Xion. This sweetheart has to go to the bathroom before the plane takes off because she hates airplane bathrooms, but she doesn’t want to go by herself. Demyx offers to go with her so he can pick up some food from one of the little fast food places. They both head back and SURPRISE! The plane left like ten minutes ago without them.

The others don’t find out until like halfway through the flight when Larxene is like “Hey, Roxas, can you give this to Xion for me?” And Roxas (who hasn’t looked up from his game system in like three hours) looks to Axel on one side of him and an empty seat on the other side and is like “she’s not sitting by me, I think she was sitting by Saix” But Saix is already four mimosas in and is half asleep and Xion is definitely not sitting by him.

“Lexaeus, have you seen Xion?“ “No, she was sitting by Demyx.“ “Uh, great. Have you seen Demyx? Both of their seats are empty.” “WHAT“

Email: 2:42 PM

To: Lexaeus, Saix, Vexen, Xaldin, Xemnas

From: Demyx

hey we got left at the airport and xion is crying rn what do i do lmao

[ademonwithinternet]

Hi. how you doing. I was wondering if you have any music suggestion becasue I have been overdosing on stuff like "airplanes-BoB" and "faster car-loving caliber" for the last 3 days (seriously I listened to airplanes for about 15 times jsut today)

i absolutely have music suggestions!!! ill give u categories cuz i dont know what music u like (i dont know those songs,,, but listening to a song 15 times in a day is #relatable)

demon’s official music recommendation list 

emo love songs (my favourite genre):

i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

first day of my life by bright eyes

don’t haunt this place by rural alberta advantage

whatever you do by brandi carlile

a thousand years by christina perri (shut up djskfhsdkhf)

heather by conan gray

drops of jupiter (tell me) by train

your song by elton john

vibe-y songs that aren’t necessarily good music but are vibes (also lizzo is a goddess so): 

sidelines by laura dreyfuss

ca va ca vient by vitaa et slimane

je danse encore by bilal hassani

like a girl by lizzo

good as hell by lizzo

vibe-y songs but a different vibe (a needed vibe rn):

wake me up by avicii

dear god by XTC

andy by the front lawn

dark days by pup

the joke by brandi carlile

fucking. ashes by celine dion. judge me all you want its a good song

cry songs:

grow as we go by ben platt

ease my mind by ben platt

in case you don’t live forever by ben platt

waving through a window from DEH

for forever from DEH

the goodbye song by george salazar

broadway, here i come by george salazar

michael in the bathroom from BMC

terrible mental health, need understanding (aka my twenty one pilots top choices):

guns for hands

migraine

friend, please

truce

not today

taxi cab

march to the sea

(all by twenty one pilots)

i spent so long on that hopefully u find something u like *peace signs* my music taste is impeccable

[szopenhauer]

Think of a movie and now give me that movie title: random Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 

Quote a line from that movie:

Name a song: random MARUV & Boosin — I Want You 

What’s a line from that song? Baby turn me, turn me on All night long What’s the last word spelled backwords of that line? GNOL XD Whats the relationship between you and the last person you texted? my fiancee What would your name be if you replaced T’s with S’s & A’s with E’s? Zuzenne Would you ever legally change you name to that? nah Your boyfriend/girlfriend say they can’t hang out & it’s been two weeks. You? ok How often do you think about death? all the time Where were you when you had your first sleepover? Your house or a friends’? friend’s - P.W.

Are you hungry?: thirsty

What did you buy last time you went to the store?: food? bread not food? trinkets - for example - two books and a tiny stuffed dog

Do you think stained glass windows are pretty?: I don’t know tbh

Are you a chocoholic?: not at all

Have you ever been carded when buying something? : not even when I was buying cigarettes

Do you have a favorite highlighter color?: yellow

Do you have a flashlight?: I do

Do you like watermelon?: nah

Has anyone ever walked in on you while you were on the toilet?: obvi, many times but usually just family members

Do you like a lot of ice in your drinks?: noooo

Have you ever painted a room?: bathroom Have you ever petted a donkey? from what I remember

Out of all 24 hours, which one is your favourite? hmm... Have you ever been in a lighthouse? nope

What time are you planning on going to bed tonight? no idea Have you ever been bit by an animal? yeah Did it rain today? kinda What was the name of the last dog you pet? it was my dog - Łasuch Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? sure Are you constantly judging people? could say so Have you ever had anything stolen from you? sorta Which would you rather, a snowy day, sunny day, rainy day or cloudy day?: cloudy or sunny maybe rainy but definitely not snowy How long have you ever spent away from home? month? Has your luggage ever been lost at the airport? Did you get it back? - About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? few Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? no What scent of candle do you burn the most? we don’t For what reason did you last cry? ugh... What kind of surveys do you wish there were more of? deep

Last time you were attacked by an animal? this summer? Are you paranoid all the time or just during the night? more often during the day actually  Have you ever dated someone without knowing their name? last name, not first, I was a stupid kid and was dating a guy online once and several boys at camp just to show off somebody likes me that way even tho I wasn’t really interested nor knew anything about those matters

If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, how much do you really eat? a tiny bit If you need to ask a question in class do you raise your hand? of course How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? once, currently Do you have to see something to really believe it? jak niewierny Tomasz - często Have you ever gotten so dehydrated that you passed out? I’m surprised that I didn’t :x If your friend was being cheated on, would you tell them? absolutely Do you always assume the worst? that me indeed Are you sick and tired of life? sadly Have you ever been busted for under age drinking? I wasn’t drinking underage, I still don’t drink  Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? 1 and a tik tok Have you witnessed a fight at school? bunch

What is your favorite time of day to run? when I’m late for the bus lmfao

When was the last time you talked to your mom? recently Do your parents crush your dreams? sometimes Did you sleep in today? I didn’t Do you hate sleeping in? I love sleeping in  How late do you consider too late to sleep in? noon, 11am is already late  How long have you had a smartphone? less than 5 years Do you keep lists of names that you like? even tho I don’t want kids :P Have you ever butt-dialed someone? it happened

First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed, like *that*; M.

Do you like going to school sports games? eww, boring Have you ever worn your boyfriend’s clothes? guy from camp gave me his cap for a day Have you ever stolen your sibling’s clothes? I had to wear them when she was growing up, gross Have you ever loved someone and HATED it? later? Do you like Starbucks or would you rather just have water or something? just water lol Have you ever walked into a door before? po maturze zapomniałam, że woźny zamknął drzwi, które się same otwierały i walnęłam w nie, raz przytrzepałam sie w futrynę bo za szybko skręciłam w nocy do pokoju, mama uderzyła mnie drzwiami jak byłam mała i stałam za blisko wejścia dzwoniąc do domu więc spadłam ze schodów, a ojciec stuknął mnie tymi dworcowymi przy wiadukcie i wylałam na siebie sok - to chyba wszystkie przypadki Do you know anyone who’s like, psycho-religious? fanatic? my uncle is one of those Have you ever been stuck on a ski lift? luckily never been there to begin with Do you know who Nancy Sinatra is? ain’t this the gal who sings “those boots were made for walking” or smth like that? Have you ever bought anything from an airport? I wasn’t there so... If I asked you who you were gonna marry a year ago, you would say; omg Do you snore, talk, sleepwalk, or drool? drool at times, sorry also roll/kick around and fart ^^” When you woke up this morning, what was your first thought? I was wondering why Nat fronted If you could start completely over knowing what you do now, would you? possibly

If you drink coffee, do you have a favorite flavor & brand? If so, what? not applicable Have you ever personally known a pair of Conjoined twins? woah What is your first thought when you see people kissing in public? "get a room” Would you ever consider being a professional stunt-person? I have no abilities/skills/health etc for that kind of job and it’s really sad actors get prizes for stunt-ppl’s work

How about a Mailman? my father was and that ruined his body so I doubt it (Besides Hello kitty) Do you have a favorite Sanrio character? If so, Who? Hello Kitty is evil Do you flinch when strangers touch you? don’t touch me! Can you remember the first time you went to a movie theater? I believe Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it? I have strange interests... Do you actually like the taste of Diet Soda? didn’t try and don’t plan to What brand of toliet paper do you normally use? I don’t give a shit ;) Do the Charmin bears make you feel uncomfortable? xD fact that they’re red makes me uneasy On average, how many cans of soda would you say you drink daily? zero Did/do you ever stick your chewed -up gum under tables? I spat it on grass when I was younger and had stuck it in my hair years before as well but every other gum I trashed properly Can you remember the last thing you watched on the news that upset you? that’s why I avoid news How do you feel about red lipstick, is it whorish? it’s my fav but I no longer use makeup What is your definition of feminism? fighting for equal rights between women and men like pay in workplaces Are you comfortable in shorts? am not So, have you watched that Bob’s Burgers show? Do you like it? fragments 

Do you ever get the feeling you dont belong? always Do you believe actions speak louder than words? good actors will use both ways to lie

If your friend tried to commit suicide infront of you how would you react? how, why, who, when etc. Ever had a rumour spread about you? plenty Have you ever tried to impress someone before? majority of my life and I hate myself for that If someone jumped on your back what would you do? die? If you had a child and they turned out just like you would you be happy? poor kid... If you could choose the gender of your child what gender would you choose? not that I want kids but girl

Name three people you want to meet in Heaven. from those who died or are alive rn?

What could be the theme song of your life? I was taking a quiz today and they gave me Kero Kero Bonito - I'd Rather Sleep

Do you have any embarrassing health issues? :( Who do you wish you could talk to? grandma and/or brother Do you lose or misplace things a lot? very rarely lose, misplace more often but still usually same item like my scissors What was the name of the street you grew up on (if you don’t live there now) I live here! Does it still feel like summer where you live? it’s too cold for that Do you have a Paypal account? I wish Have you ever had a brand or company reach out to you on Instagram? polyvore What is the last thing you purchased from Etsy? I have no bank account to be able to buy stuff there Do you sell on Etsy? I’d like to someday Do you have a favorite aunt, and if so, who is it? aunt Alice Who is your favorite cousin? no one Have you bought next year’s calendar yet? yup What year did/will you turn 30? 2022 What’s a food that you like, but it makes you feel sick? no comment Do you like the name Addison? sounds like a shoe Is there anything that you regret getting rid of? ... Have you ever stood up to a bully? couple of times Do you own striped tights? nude and transparent Have you ever made your own Halloween costume out of clothes from ur closet? yep When was the last time you received a hug? this day Do you have anyone who hugs you regularly? dad? Would you rather have the bottom bunk or top bunk? bottom Window seat or aisle seat? window, aisle if in church  Have you ever thrown up on an airplane? that’s one of the reasons I won’t fly Have you ever seen anyone else throw up on an airplane? that’s another... Have you ever gotten sick in the car? almost Do you still wear clothes from the children’s section? whoops you got me What color is your watch? I need to buy watch for Nat... What color was the last pair of flip-flops you wore? last time I was wearing flip flops was before middle school and they were pink I suppose Were you born in your favorite season? in the worst! Have you eaten oatmeal lately? regularly... Do you enjoy editing photos? if not a snapchat filter selfie then I prefer them “natural” What is your favorite app on your phone? Choices forever! lately I begun playing The arcana and it’s pretty good, Lisa downloaded Addams family mystery mansion or smth but it’s not that cool and I used to play the detective story which was awesome <3  Do you answer your phone every time it rings? hell no Do you like to decoupage things? scrapbooks/collages are way better How many tabs are open on your browser right now? 9 with this one but I forgot to close the background music 

How many times have you had sex within the past two years? Guesstimate? personal How many times in a month do you go to the movies? How much do you spend? not at all

When was the last time you heard thunder? Where were you at anyway? this month? home When was the last time you were in trouble with your parents? If so. it’s complicated Do you know anyone who claims to have the ability to see the future? I have dreams that come true and my parents do, also my gf When you go to the movies, do you actually watch the movies or not? ... what else would I do in the cinema? oh, you mean kiss and such? waste of money Do you love or loathe the Eurovision? I don’t mind it Have you ever wielded a sword? wanna try :D If you were famous would you want a statue or a building names after you? what for Can you erect a tent? hope I didn’t forgot How tall is the tallest person you know? didn’t ask Have you ever ridden a camel? might try What’s your opinion on rats? cute

[drews-diary]

My new laptop got delivered yesterday. So, in order to get myself used to the new keyboard that is much wider than the one I was using I have decided to tell a very detailed story on here about a few very small events. 

This is going to be a recollection of my past encounters with 5sos. And I do not recommend that anybody reads it because it is going to be incredibly detailed so that I am able to look back on those days. 

The first time I ever met 5sos was back in 2017 when they played at the Pentaport Rock Festival that was held in Songdo. They played a 50 minute set that started at six on the last day of the festival which was August 13th and it was a Sunday. 5sos landed in Korea on Friday though, and I went to see them at the airport. 

I was really really so fucking nervous to see them for the first time and I wasn’t even completely sure if I had the right flight info so things were kinda crazy. I remember that day bcuz my friends and I went to the movie theater to watch the 2017 version of Beauty and the Beast and we also took pictures in the mall’s photo booth that day. We were originally going to have dinner together too but I saw that luke had posted a story of him in what looked like an airplane so i apologized to my friends and I headed home so that I could make my way to the airport. I used the LAX and Incheon airport website to figure out what flight they were on and then started to get ready.I hadn’t written my letters in advance even though I had already bought their gifts so I wrote down a few lines for each member with shaking hands. I also wrote a longer letter that was addressed to the band as a whole where I wrote down a bunch of things that I really liked to do in Seoul should they get the chance. I don’t remember the specifics of what I wrote though, I wish I took pictures of what I said to them. I remember the flight was supposed to arrive around 9:40 pm that night so I left my house at around 7:30 pm. That was probably one of my first times ever skipping a meal because I did not have dinner that day. For their gifts I got Luke a set of temporary tattoos bc he didnt have any at the time and I thought it would be funny. I got Michael a mask that said 접근금지 which is basically do not approach bc I knew he was antisocial like me and maybe he could make use of it. I got Ashton a bandanna, which I knew he hadn’t worn since 2014 but in the summer of 2017 bandannas were a really big fad in South Korean fashion and I thought it was a really funny coincidence. And finally for Calum I got matching towels for him and Duke. I remember when they stepped out into the airport I couldn’t breathe. Like, I was quite literally shaking and I couldn’t even scream. I love all four of them but I knew who’s lane I was in so I made a beeline for Calum. I tried to wait patiently but honestly I was about to start hyperventilating and people were pushing me so I just made my way up to him and asked him to sign my iPod touch which was what I carried around with me at the time because I wasnt allowed to have a smartphone until I graduated high school. Honestly I wasn’t even able to say anything because I was so nervous I just handed him the iPod and the pen and he knew what to do. Either way he signed it for me and my hands were shaking the entire time I couldn’t believe it. It is still one of my most prized posessions. I handed him my gifts that I had put into this blue ryan (the lion) shopping bag and went “this is for you” honestly i was shaking so hard and looking back I am impressed that I was even able to get out those words. He looked at the gifts and then back at me and went 

“For me? Aww, thank you”

let me tell you I nearly fucking died. He said aww to me. CALUM HOOD. SAID AWW. TO ME. fuck. And then I forgot how to talk and somebody else butted in and pushed me out of the way so I didnt get to ask him for a picture. Once I regained my senses I somehow made my way back and got a selfie with him. I later put that photo into my portion of my school’s yearbook when I graduated so that everybody in our school was forced to have a copy. While we were taking the photo my right should slightly touched him and let me tell you that felt really weird. Not to be pervy, it was just something that happened. But then they had to leave and I followed them out to their van and waved until the van was out of sight. I took the subway home that day just like how I got to the airport. I was shaking during both rides out of either anticipation or disbelieve, the difference is that on the way home I cried a little bit. 

Two days later was the day of the festival. I am going to try to keep the other details shorter but I left really earlier. I was alone that day bc I decided I would rather not show others what I looked like during their performance. I left my house and I got to the festival grounds around nine, they started letting people in at ten. I immediately ran to the main stage where they would be performing later and six so that I could wait while holding onto the fence (of course I positioned myself so that I was right in front of where Calum would be standing). We had to wait in line again because we weren’t allowed in until twelve. That day I was wearing my waste the night shirt which is still one of my favorite pieces of merch with a pair of pink shorts. I starved the entire day that day and I also made sure not to drink anything so that I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom. I instead took 에이스 which is a type of really high calorie cracker so that I wouldn’t pass out. I also took 박카스 (a small version of energy drink) so that I could take one right before the performance to enjoy the show to the full extent. Around one o’clock bands started to play and I cheered them on with the rest of the crowd because honestly they weren’t bad and I do enjoy music festivals as a whole. But I made sure not to jump around to save up my energy. After a few bands had played, I would say around 3ish maybe the staff were getting the stage ready for the next performers and I was sitting with my back against the fence when somebody tapped my shoulder. 

When I turned around there was this lady and her friend who looked to be in their early twenties (I was seventeen at the time) and she asked me if I liked 5sos, I bet she could tell from my shirt. I told her I loved them and she said she thinks that some guy who was watching the stage from afar was Ashton, as in the drummer and that I should go and say hi. Honestly, this is one of the things that I regret most in my life, I was so surprised I forgot to thank her. I just said “really?” and then grabbed my selfie stick with my ipod attached and I ran off. Thinking back that was so rude of me this woman literally went out of her way to help me and I just ran on her. Ugh, I still think about this sometimes.

Anyways so there I was running and he was looking at the crowd waiting in front of the stage. I would say he was at about a 4? 5ish o’clock angle from the stage. When I approached him I saw that it really was Ashton and he had a body guard next to him, it wasn’t dave. The guard seemed to get wary as I approached but Ashton stepped up first and said hello to me. I am literally about to cry just remembering. I was so fucking nervous. He was wearing the white and black checkered shirt he wore on stage that day. He didn’t have his sunglasses on. Back to what happened, shit i’m shaking rn just remembering fuck. He smiled and said hello to me in a really friendly, approachable way. I was timid as fuck and so nervous so I whispered hi back. He laughed and said hi again and myself being the dumbass I am I said hi again too. This back and forth exchange of hi’s happened about four or five times, each time with ashton smiling bigger than the last and me getting closer and closer to tears just because I was so overwhelmed. Finally he busted out laughing and said “you are so adorable”

ashton. ashton irwin. ashton called me adorable. fuck. I think it was around this point that I forgot how to breathe. I spat out how much I love the band and their music. I was totally blubbering and making a mess out of myself. I was approaching tears at that moment but they hadn’t fallen yet and it was at this point that as he was thanking me and called me adorable a second time (!!) (he said something like “you are too adorable” ohmyfuckinggod), ashton went in for a hug. Whether it would have been a side hug or a full hug I will never know because I was too nervous and overwhelmed to notice. I only realized that he was going to hug me after we had parted ways. I still kick myself to this day. I should have let him hug me fuck. either way he opened up his right arm for me to step in but I didn’t move BECAUSE I DIDNT NOTICE. COME ON BITCH UGH FUCK. either way he just smiled, laughed and thanked me. I honestly wasn’t in my right mind. I told him that I went to see them at the airport but I knew he wouldn’t remember me so I just kept talking. The next thing I said to him was so fucking... ugh. I literally went “Michael is soo hot. Like, I knew he was hot but when I saw him at the airport I was so surprised because he was so much hotter than I thought he was going to be” fuck.

This is true. Personally I find all four of the boys really attractive but it’s true that people in the fandom even back then would call michael the ugly one. The reason I felt strong enough about this to say to Ashton was because when I went to the airport and saw them all in person for the first time, the other three pretty much looked exactly how I thought they would. They looked the same as when I saw them through the screen. But Michael, honestly he looked so much better in person. I dont know how to say it, but he was just one of those people who the camera never did justice. Everybody else was amazingly hot, just like they are on screen, but Michael honestly looked so much better in person. To be fair, I was shocked, and I felt really bad for him because he gets so much hate online for being “ugly” when that was far from the case.

Back to when I met Ashton. I hadn’t expected this meeting to happen, you know, so I had no idea what to say and the comment about michael being hot literally just flew out of my mouth. I didn’t have time to think okay I was totally put on the spot and I was just, I’m just surprised I didn’t faint. Thankfully, he busted out laughing again, and I got to hear that fucking beautiful laugh. The security guard cracked a smile at that one too. I am honestly still so embarrassed about this ugh what did i do. Either way, Ashton laughed at what I said and then told me he would make sure to tell Michael. It was at this point that I figured I had overstayed my welcome. I hadn’t realized it at first because I was too excited about the opportunity to meet him but I felt like I was taking up too much of his time. He probably just wanted to get a look at the stage and here I was, a crazy fan barely breathing, probably red in the face telling him how much I love him and how hot I thought his band member is. Fuck, it’s still humiliating to this day. At least he probably won’t remember it. So i’m the only one left with the embarrassing memory. And here I am writing it all down so that I never forget. 

I quickly asked him if he could tell Calum that I love him. He didn’t hear me at first and said “huh?” I repeated myself and he said he would. And I know that that was incredibly cringey of me but fuck it I said what I said. It was true and it is still true. Honestly, if I ran into Ashton in the streets tomorrow, I would still ask him to tell Calum that I love him because that is just how true that statement is. I then told him that I would be going. I remember mumbling something like “I don’t want to bother you” At this point I still couldn’t properly breathe. He said something along the lines of “oh no, you’re not bothering me” but I knew better and said “no, it’s okay.” And that’s how the interaction ended. I told him I hoped he had a good time in South Korea and I walked back to the stage where I had placed my bag to save my spot. I looked back a couple of times while I was walking and he waved, which I of course had to wave back to. Once I got to my spot I spent a few minutes trying to breathe. When I looked back to where he was he and the body guard were gone. 

A few things about this interaction. First, something I feel absolutely horrible about is that I never told him that I love him. I know it probably doesn’t matter because he’s Ashton Irwin and I’m just a fan but still. I told him how much I love his band and their music and his bandmates, fuck I even asked him to pass along the message to Calum that I love him yet I didn’t tell him that he is also somebody that I love so, so, so fucking much. I still feel so horrible about this to this day I regret it so much. This is what happens when people who are not good at talking to others are suddenly put into a conversation, they forget everything that they want to say, everything that they mean and that they should say and instead just spit out bullshit like omg ur bandmate is so much better looking in person honestly what the fuck drew. that was honestly unintentionally so rude of me. I FORGOT TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM. I FORGOT TO TELL SOMEONE I LOVE WITH ABSOLUTELY MY ENTIRE HEART THAT I LOVE HIM!! honestly what is the matter with me.

The second thing i wanted to add in is the fact that I didn’t get a picture. When I ran towards him it was with my selfie stick and iPod in hand, but I made sure to keep it down in case he didn’t want to take pictures because while we were in a public setting this still wasn’t work time for him and I didn’t want to ask him to take a picture with me if he didn’t want to. And while he didn’t directly say no pictures he had to have noticed my selfie stick but he didn’t say anything that implied he was cool with taking pictures right now so I just didn’t ask. I thought it would be a long shot too but I still took it just in case. I told myself as I was walking up to him that unless he brought it up first I wouldn’t ask for a picture so I am completely fine with what happened. I still think I pretty much intruded on his private time so I didn’t want to force him to do anything. 

I still feel really bad that I didn’t get to thank that amazing nice lady who let me know that Ashton was there. Fuck, I looked around for her afterwards and I think I caught a glimpse of her at some point in the crowd but when I got to where she was she was already gone. I wish I could say thank you even now. Honestly, I must have seemed so rude from her point of view. I just was so overwhelmed and I wasn’t thinking properly and I feel so bad to this day. I don’t remember what she was wearing and if I saw her walking along the street I probably couldn’t recognize her but I still am so sorry and sooo thankful. 

The performance that day was the first time I saw 5sos live. Actually, it was the only time so far but I hope that changes soon and I get to see them again when this whole pandemic is over. It was absolutely amazing. I don’t even know how to put it into words. It was just everything I had ever hoped for and more. I took videos the entire time with the limited equipment that I had. I supplied videos that day to 5sos stan twitter update accounts. It was a good time. I think that performance, the 50-minute set was one of the happiest moments of my life. not joking. 

This ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. But that’s okay. I’m probably going to be the only one to ever read it anyways and the fact that it’s long means that it’s detailed right? It probably just means that I monologued a shit-ton. The purpose of this blog is for it to be my diary anyways so who cares. 

But still, shit this ended up being pretty long. I guess I’ll have to write about my encounters with 5sos that happened in 2018 and 2019 some other time. Probably after finals, which I am procrastinating from studying for right now. 

Also, I wrote the beginning of this sometime in January I think but it is currently June so yeah that sure says a lot about me I guess. Hopefully, I’ll write again soon bc i sure do have a lot of fucking shit to say.

This has been an entry about the two encounters that I had with 5 seconds of summer back in 2017. I know shit’s pretty bad these days and the fandom is basically on fire constantly but I still wanted to write down the good memories that I have. Hopefully I’ll come back soon to write about the times I saw them in 2018 and 2019. I hope I get to see them this year too, but that’s probably not going to happen. I’ll also come back and add details about these incidents when I remember them later on. I want this to be as detailed as possible so that I can come back and read this again and remember everything. I’m not sick, I just have a bad memory. Better come quick to record what happened the other times I met 5sos before I lose the memories. 

[princess-peregrine]

Long post, just keep scrolling

ok watching booksmart, this post is tracking me watching it

Okay movie is open

word doc is open

not going for tabs here I guess

so anyway

was on a site, found this movie called book smart and the cover caught my eye, so now i'm watching it. Also I googled if it was gay and it is so that's the main reason

okay first scene is odd

lol fuck them

omfg I love her already

THEIR DANCING IS THE WORST BEST THING YET

hehehe, ass president

fuck samantha

so the principle is very smart and doesn't like any of them

omfg teacher crush girl I love you

everyone loves this teacher! And so do I!

Jared you are nice, but why

rood, her outfit is a solid six out of ten

OMG the head tilt! She leaned on her and and gazed!

When does the super duper gay happen

omfg

skateboard girl

SHE WAS A SKATER GIRL

oh that was a guy? I really can't tell, the adrogony is strong on this one

ryan is a girl so yes the lesbian

ryan's nickname is avril lavigne

“well with her there'd be more, vagina involved.”

omg the way the music cuts out is so odd

I love her car

I want that car, it has flame paint

I am the girl with the scarf, she is me, like for real, that is me

is she in the wrong, yes she is

this bathroom scene is the kind of conversations I would sit in the middle of and not talk like for real it is so nostalgic

their dick drawings are terrible

I love the hippie, he's nice, he's understandable, fuck the government man

omg shit got darker and more grainy

I love the side character hope

she is just upset other people that care less are smart wtf

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HALL PARTY!!!!

ok I think I see where this movie is going

i'm gonna guess, their gonna have a day to make up for being, stiff, and unloose

yeah that's where it's going

“Who's they?” same

omg the clothes change scene, they are so cute

“THE PANDA” OMFG I LOVE THEM

“i wish, that wouldv'e been a secret, but, you said it anyway”

the parents omg do not deny the mushrooms omg the parents faces

omg the car

“absofruitly” omfg

THE LISCENSE PLATE WHAT TF

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MEEEETH

what, vitamins, the meth was just vitamins

“I BROUGHT YOU TO THE BEST PARTY, MY PARTY”

no one is there, wh, how doe, whe, how could, how tf did he do this

the party girl I love

she was the one on the car earlier

she is high

for sure but I love her what the hell is doing on

oh yeah she admitted, ln drugs

he's wearing a scuba helmet like a daft punk

omg no pls stop

he was so consent talk earlier and now he's nice guy

she lost her virginity in a graveyard and she said her eggs are haunted, I love it

I love her

who is lu an

jump off the boat

oh shit

oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit is she ok

pls lovely haunted rich girl be ok pls

“please don't do your lecture voice”

they got the address

i'm calling malala

she only gets one malala a year omfg I love them

the principle is the uber driver omg

i'm smiling so hard and it hurts bc my cheeks and gums aren't healed and I am in such pain, that a good thing

wtf that book idea sucks

so awkward

“neck deep in ryan” “neck deep, in, what direction?”

omg she's never watched porn

omg sharing earbuds while watching porn for educational purposes

omg omg omg omg the aux porn noises

“is that cardi B” OMASL;KDFADHLKAJSH

they got the wrong address again

how did she get here

gigi I love you

I finally learned her name it's gigi, I love gigi

gigi why are you not at nicks party

the strawberries hit by now?

THE STRAWBERRIES WERE LACED?!!?!?!? SWEEEEEET

one time I threw up in my moms hand and she caught it because she loves me

omg omg omg omg barbie scene

they're dolls I love this movie

“where is my chub” I feel the same

what is the real life equivilant of this

they're naked

“uh molly I have no genitals”

omg is there going to be barbie porn, spread eagle

gigi is amazing I love her

gigi you are wrong on this, and I still love you

omg just say you're bi

“i can't like him because he's a jock” same

slaps molly “how dare you say that about my best friend” so relatable

library studying to find the party omg

the pizza delivery that's how they'll find the party

stowaways

omg kidnapper pizza delivery movie now pls?

“that's your private information” I love this pizza delivery guy

“don't trust people oh my god” he's great

she left her phone omg

“why is my battery so low?” “The porn, we streamed a lot of porn.”

who is it

THE TEACHER I LOVE HER

OMG BEST TEACHER EVER EVER EVER FOREVER THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE THIS MOVIE NOW

Sentinel if you read this the teacher reminds me of you, she's banned from juice

“lucky for you two, i'm a single woman living in los angeles”

they are so great to eachother

ok they're here but there is still half of the movie left, so, what's gonna happen now

oh I know, romance drama hopefully

crush vision

oh pls no, crush vision has made everyone dissappear pls no, don't

THIS BITCH, GET THE HELL OUT WITH YOUR SINGING IN THE RAIL BE BOP DANCE

it's done

still love the hippie

gigi how the fuck

gigi you are perfect and I love you

the teacher is here? For real? Is, that really what's happening?

Ryan is not who I would have had a crush on but I seriously love her rn

everything is going too well

how tf did he get from the murdermystery to there

probably the same way gigi did

he deepthroated the microphone and that is not ok

the hippie is going to try to seduce the teach

he called her mrs. fine. Also his name is theo

AND I'M HERE, TO REMIND YOU, OF THE MESS YOU MADE WHEN YOU WENT AWAY!

Alan?

I don't think he's 20

uh oh kareoke pls don't

i'm afraid

this is causing me stress

what Is going to come of this

hugs

ok that was a stress fake out

this is going too well for too long what the hell is going on here

oh I know this song

swimming in the pool

um, so ryan is jacked

oh so ryan is either bi or straight but this does not bode well

oh shit doesn't bode well for either of them

she's using malala and you just say no bitch

molly you're being a bitch

omg yelling during a party and now everyone's staring

molly you are kind of a bitch now I like you less

molly was totally in the wrong

I love the cowgirl

omg cowgirl is a bitch too wtf

is everyone a bitch

kiss, which I saw coming but, still, get it

so rich kid is there too

gigi I love you

he wants to do airplanes I love him

ok so virginity loss first time scene

black bra

I forget what movie but there was a scene that they said “no one has a black bra if they don't want someone to see” and i'm like bitch black is my fav colour

WRONG HOLE!!!

OH SHIT, she puked, oh crap oh no oh pls god no, this is awful oh poor amy

oh no oh shit oh no oh crud I wanna cry I feel so bad for her she puked oh goodness I feel so bad for her why

oh that's what the scene earlier about her mom catching her puke meant

they didn't hear the clap?

Gigi I love you, also why do you take airplane kids car if you have your own

gigi's real name is annabelle

“Wait where the fuck do you live” omg

twenty minutes still left, what is happening here

but did the teach bang the kid

omg she rolled her r at a kid

she did bang him

teach what the fuck

gigi is at the piano the talented bitch

i'm gonna bet they'll still be late

THEY MADE IT, broke the fence, BUT THEY MADE IT, also his car is f'ed up

omg why is everyone cheering was everyone at the party?

Maybe cause they just crashed a car through

ok so molly was not gay

this kiss was terrible and they should do a reshoot until they take a not ugly kiss

neat speech

her mom is kissing the jilling bear

oh no

oh pls thank god molly

they were kissing the sex panda oh god

omg omg omg omg

cowgirl you are valid

she has stripped sleeves I love

she has a volvo and that adds like, plus twenty aesthetic

gone forever now

not forever, just a year

harmonizing for the ending song, good choice I guess

oh no, now it's sad

fuck

jumpscare

pancakes

omg I love the ending

the ending wow

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nice shit

[sophblogsalot]

This is supposed to be for anon asks but I’m bored and don’t get questions so doing it anyway :-)

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Closet at my apartment is in my bathroom so I don’t pay much attention. But the closet at my moms remains closed lol

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

I do not

(3) Can You Whistle?

I can!

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

“This is America” - Childish Gambino

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

This changed constantly but I think I am feeling blue rn lol

(6) Relationship Status.

TAKENNNN <333333333333jerwejjroejraskj

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

hot af fml

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

not cranky...just tired

(9) How Many Followers?

bruh not a lot lol idk where to see my followers anyway...which is sad bc i’ve been on tumblr for like 8 years now

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Gemini! (i’m cray)

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Hazel

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

Yes!

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

of course..

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

none sadly lol

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

there isn’t a book near me and I did not feel like getting up so oops

(16) Favourite Anime?

If i had to pick i’d say Teen Titans but i’m not really into anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

hmmm...I actually do not remember

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

bad halloween costumes

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

leftover burrito bowl from izzos

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

absolutely

(21) Favourite Animal?

a fox or a great white shark or all the animals ever tbh

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

I suck....no...

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

school nights by 11 pm...weekends tho? that changes dramatically

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

nope

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

ocean!!! I love the waves!!

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

ohhh...any legends of tomorrow blog :)

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

hmm...bottled water sounds v refreshing rn

(28) What Makes You Happy?

feeling loved by my friends and family. simplicity. 

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

ugh..too difficult lol

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

without music. But doing projects I like to listen to music

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

doggy

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

uhhhhhhhhhhh

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

XBOX!!!

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

ocean

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

yeth

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

white!

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yes!

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

lol sadly I spend it

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

a bar wristband lol

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

legends of tomorrow...

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

oh I’m sure I have

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

I think so

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

not really.

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

HATE. I swear I died in a plane crash in another life

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Marley and me, 12 years a slave, fury, toy story 3. lol those were just at the top of my head

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

hmmm..Sunflower seeds

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Queen WITH Freddie!!!

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

not even slightly

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

sometimes

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

I don’t really fear it but if its loud enough it can scare me

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

sure!

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

not too loud

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

carve punkin!!!

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Drunk in love lol

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

summerrrrr

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

sushi...always sushi..

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

too much work

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Female!

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

tea!

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

thank god no. Finals just ended I am home freeeeeee

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

sometimes lol

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

I like growlith 

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Right now i’m going through a twitter phase but usually its tumblr

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

i’m starting to get into it. Used to strictly like snapchat but I kinda dig insta stories now

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

I miss my mom yes

(67) Are You A Virgin?

no

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

ugh idk the name of it lol. some kinda shit for frizzy hair

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

probably a motel room

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

yes!

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

hmmmm....the next suicide squad movie whenever that comes out

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

nah

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

ugh idk lol - me

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

I’m not really biased about eye color

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

I do get excited when I see a swing set but it always made me kinda nauseas being on one haha sad...

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

some kind of cabbage roll thing my dad made. It was good!

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

WAAAAY too many

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

absolutely. Its a human being lol

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

Oh i’m sure

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

duh

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

yes!

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

i used to in high school. not so much anymore

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

closed!

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

made breakfast, went to work, walked my roomies dog and played with her

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

nike shorts and t shirt typically

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

uhhhh....pony tails....

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

used to be a night person but now im a day person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

too many lol but I’ll say i LOVE the tomb raider series!! Can’t wait for the next one!

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

I had a dream once about a t-rex ripping the roof off my bedroom and staring up at it and the stars. I was a tiny kid but for some reason I always remember that one

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

dr. pepper!

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

hmmm...i don’t really know

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

sweats for sureeee

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

like a hot mess

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

lying on the couch with a bad movie on

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

I already have two but if i were to get another one it would be a mati symbol, or evil eye!

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

uhhhhhh