#about the autho

[nartml]

Oh my fuck.

The entitlement some of you people in the fandom have. It's baffling. Absolutely mind-boggling.

Tell me, how the fuck were you raised and where exactly did you find this audacity? The sheer audacity.

Fanfiction is fucking free, it's beautiful, it's a community. It's an art.

So many people, including myself, go on and on about how amazing ao3 is and how insanely good the writers are.

The reason for this is, they do it because they love it. They hold such passion and love for it; the writing, the characters, the story. And they want to share it. They do it with their heart.

Now how dare you trample on it like this? Act as if you're entitled to it. As if you're fucking owed something, as if it's merely a product you paid for.

It's a gift and all you should be is motherfucking grateful, nothing less.

Not a curse word vile enough to convey what I feel exists.

Fuck yourselves.

[sjolldorei]

there's just something about my dracthyr that i find insanely pretty and hot. like. look at their fucking hips, their waist, their THIGHS oh my god their thighs with the little patch of lighter coloured scales in the inside, following down the underside of the tail. their clumsy stompy feet, their GORGEOUS thwap thwappy tail with the cute little spikes on it. their arms, their massive fingers, their soft little palms and their dainty little talons. look at those chest/shoulder spikes, look at the texture they add i LOVE them. i love their giant floppy wings always dragging behind them, wings that show emotion like a catboys ears. little twitches of joy and fear and curiosity.

and have you seen their face??? their stupid little goofy face?? everything is new and exciting and they cannot hide their joy look at those teeth!!!! rows of little lovely needles!! their little lizard tongue that flicks around when they talk, their gorgeous glowing eyes and their massive massive shiny horns.

i love this fucking idiot so much i think they're increadibly hot and loveable.

[takeutothemoon]

In the same Vien: when they think India is just one homogenized culture, and also think that people from Pakistan or Bangladesh are from India.

Like, there's too much variety in those places to just flatten it down like that

yes!! i remember a sri lankan author once saying (paraphrasing here) that people consider south asian rep to mean india (of course even then usually the middle class hindu rep(usually north indian too lol)). i don't know who or if that's even exactly what she meant but the sentiment remains

[its-tea-time-darling]

comment i got on my newt/teresa fic lmaoo

to those who don't get it why i find that amusing: while i appreciate fandom culture around headcanoning a certain sexuality for a character and deriving joy from it, it amuses me that

1) people seem to think a fictional character's sexuality needs to be policed in fanfiction, the medium where fans make up fictional content on fictional characters bc they derive joy from it 2) that people talk of newt being gay as though it was canon, when it in fact was one (1) tweet trashner made for clout, and the newtmas fanbase is the one he's continually trying to milk for money and attention bc that's the only thing he's got left to do for publicity since his publisher dropped him for sexual harassment allegations.

before i hit post, i want to highlight that luckily, this isn't a mentality i've seen around in the maze runner fandom for a long time, or that i feel is rampant. i just have Thoughts TM about this, and getting a comment like that prompted me to spell them out again.

loads of love to the tmr fandom for being one of the loveliest places on the internet. <3

[popponn]

im suffering through a backpain rn so all i will offer for a while are rebblogs with madman babblings. and here, for anyone who are interested (whoever u r, ily.)

[kitsunabi]

How is YaoYao's serious showdown killing me every time, I've been at it for the past *checks logs* 9 rounds.

[theangrypomeranian]

when your fave fic updates with a note from the author saying she hasn't decided of your otp is going to end up together at the end of the story

[monimccoythings]

Random headcanons of Alastor and his child!reader

This will mix headcanons from both the living and the afterliving times.

Tw: Controlling behavior, implied cannibalism, references to murder.

This is not proof read so I apologize for any grammar and vocabulary mistakes.

Your home is always filled with music. Be it the radio, a record player or him singing. There's always someone playing a tune. Even now at the hotel you can always find him in one of the common rooms humming a song or with his cathedral radio on.

Loves dancing with you, you'll be helping him cook and next thing you know he is swirling you around the room, music mixing with your combined laughter.

From a very young age, he will teach you to love the radio. He is immensely proud of his job (the legal one) and wants to share it with you.

Likes to treat your wounds and illness the traditional way, just like he used to when you were alive. You got a scratch? He is cleaning it for you and bandaging it up. You are down with something? He'll wrap you in blankets with a hot water bottle and feed you old family remedies and warm soup. If the wound or illness is way too severe to his liking, he will immediately make it go away with a snap of his fingers, otherwise he just likes to act like your caregiver and mother hen you.

Really loves to pull the 'single hardworking dad' act that makes the mothers and female teachers at your school swoon. He is not really interested in pursuing anything further with them, but boy, does he enjoy the attention.

He likes to check on you while you are sleeping. Sometimes he just stays there, quietly watching you sleep, his ever present smile growing bigger as a sense of pride fills his chest.

Lots of dad jokes, I think he's the only one who could pull it off and have everyone laugh. It goes with his radio host charisma and personality.

He does your hair. This man has singlehandledly researched and become well versed in the art of braiding hair. Braids, pigtails, or just brush it, you call it, you got it.

Alastor loves control and having power over people, he is the kind of dad that will subtly talk you out of doing something he doesn't approve of, just using his inmense charms and smooth talking skills to convince you into thinking this was your decision after doing some critical thinking. "Cher, I don't think you should do X, how about you do Y instead?" "I'm sure your friend is too busy to hang out today, why don't we go to the ice cream shop?" He won't ever put you down or make you feel bad about anything, but if you are deviating for the path that he has already set for you (the safe path) he will immediately persuade you to go back to the right way, his way. In Hell that aspect of him has become a million times worse, since he has already lost you once and has become someone with many dangerous enemies who wouldn't hesitate to use you to get back at him. His overprotectiveness and controlling behavior skyrocket when he becomes a demon, which eventually will come back to bite him in the ass.

Doesn't like having anyone question about your biological parents. He is your parent. You don't need anybody else.

Alastor is not fond of physical affection, unless he is the one initiating it. But, since he has had you since you were a baby, he has mostly grown used to your touch. He has become proficient enough in detecting your moods that he knows exactly when you are going to need a hug, a kiss or some other kind of physical comfort, so he can get ahead and start the contact first. He admits that one of his favorite ways nowadays to show affection to you is ruffling your fluffy hair, lightly tickling your ears, his eyes fill with joy when your ears get all twitchy.

Your room back at the hotel is a carbon copy of the one you had back when you were alive, but bigger, and with a private old timey bathroom. Alastor likes to come in whenever he pleases, he is the unliving embodiment of "I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your parent by coming in anyway". He even said so once. Word by word.

You can't stand Mimzy. Sorry, it's a fact, she always gets your name wrong and only comes by if she needs something from your dad. She seems to not be very fond of you either, can't understand why in Hell Alastor would waste his time so willingly just to take care of a snooty brat that ain't even his. But your father seems to like her enough, so you swallow up your critics.

When he was alive, and came back from a 'hunt', he always brought a little memorabilia for you, maybe some old watch, a fancy toy or trinket the victim had on them at that moment. Whatever little thing that wasn't too incriminating and pretty enough to be worthy of you. Now that you know the truth, you can't stop wondering with dread if every little thing he gifts you belonged once to a poor tormented soul that crossed in his path.

Might had fed you human remians in his stews. He utterly denies it, claiming that he would never do that to your delicate stomach. But the suspicious way his eyes quickly dart around the room, makes you think otherwise. It was the Great Depression after all, food was scarce. You'd rather not dwell too much on it or you will never eat anything ever again.

He is a monster, and it pained you to have been so blind all these years, but even after discovering his true nature, the only thing you could say about his parenting before that terrible night of the discovery, was that he was an excellent dad, a tad bit overbearing and overprotective, but a great parent nonetheless.

[vkelleyart]

Deal Announcement: WHEN THE TIDES HELD THE MOON (Erewhon, Spring 2025)

If you've been with me on Tumblr for a while, then you may already be familiar with this title and been waiting for this particular update, and all I can say is thank you endlessly for patiently sticking it out with me! I am so incredibly pleased to announce that WHEN THE TIDES HELD THE MOON has been acquired by Diana Pho at Erewhon Books/Kensington Publishing as an illustrated adult historical fantasy!

Tor.com has published a blush-inducing article which features some insights from me about what inspired the story, reactions from Hugo Award-winning editor Diana Pho on what drew her to the book, a downright tear-jerking endorsement from the incomparable TJ Klune, and my original concept art of Benny & Río. I hope you'll take a moment to read it at the link below!

This project is the culmination of a lifelong dream to write and illustrate my own books, and there are no words to convey the depth of my gratitude to Diana for the gift of seeing it be delivered as an illustrated adult work. Infinite thanks must also go to my unstoppable agent Saritza Hernandez, my phenomenal critique partners Anna Racine and Mark Duplane, and the many experts who generously and enthusiastically donated their time and resources in the middle of lockdown to help me bring 1911 Brooklyn, NY to life, including:

Virginia Sanchez-Korrol –– Professor Emeritus of Puerto Rican & Latino Studies, CUNY Brooklyn College

David Sharp -- President, The Waterfront Museum

Jamie Salen, David Favaloro, & Lana Rubin –– Marketing Director, Director of Curatorial Affairs, & Collections Manager (respectively), The Tenement Museum

Adam Realman -- Artistic Director, The Coney Island Circus Sideshow

More details about WTTHTM's release will be forthcoming, but in the meantime, thank you all again for believing in this story and supporting it when it was just a humble MerMay fic. I can't wait until you meet Benny and his beloved Río in print in 2025!

[secretsofdbz]

So I finally caught some sleep (I woke up at 4 am, 20 minutes after the announcement, and slept a bit more after my last post announcing his passing).

First of all, this is going to be my panel: "See ya later guys, when you die we'll meet again!"

The hematoma that's mentioned in the statement announced in his passing implies a head injury (so perhaps he fell, perhaps something fell on his head, and the internal wound may have not be noticed)

The last artwork he did that was published was this new Sandland one to celebrate the upcoming series. It was revealed on March 4th, so after his passing. We don't know if it's the last artwork he did (he may have drawn this earlier and it was revealed later, who knows.

I'd also like to share some other statements, in no particular order:

Toyotaro's:

Masako Nozawa (Goku's VA) statement:

「コメントできる状況にございません」 -> "I am not in a position to comment."

(aka she was too shaken)

Nozawa update:

「信じたくない。考えたくないという気持ちで頭の中が空っぽです。それでも、お会いするたびに鳥山先生がおっしゃってくださった『悟空をお願いしますね』というお言葉を思い出すと、『私の命が尽きるまで悟空のそばにいよう』と気持ちを保つことが出来ます。先生、空から私たちを見守っていてください。どうか安らかな旅立ちでありますように。」 I don't want to believe. My mind is empty because I don't want to think about it. Still, every time we met, Toriyama-sensei said to me, "I'll take care of Goku for you, won't I?" When I remember your words, 'I will stay by Goku's side until my life is over,' I can keep my mind on it. Sensei, please watch over us from the sky. May you have a peaceful departure.

(Mayumi Tanaka, the voice of Krillin who was requested by Tori super early on will probably say something at some point too).

Oda (One Piece author) statement:

It is too early. The hole is too big. Sadness washes over me when I think that I will never see him again. I have admired him so much since I was a child, so I remember the day he called me by name for the first time. On the way home from the day you used the word "friend" for me and Kishimoto, I remember being overjoyed with Kishimoto. I also remember the last conversation we had. I was one of those who took the baton from the days when reading manga made you a fool, and he also created an era when both adults and children could enjoy reading manga. He showed us the dream that manga can go worldwide. It was like watching a hero going forward. For not only mangakas but also creators in various industries, the excitement and emotion of the time of Dragon Ball serialization must have taken root in their childhood. His existence is like a big tree. For the manga artists of our generation who stood on the same stage, Toriyama's works became more and more important to me as I got closer to the same stage. I even felt being scary. But I am just happy to see the aloof man himself again. Because we love him on a blood level. With respect and gratitude for the creative world he has left behind. I pray for his soulful rest in peace. May heaven be the joyous world he envisioned.

And Kishimoto's statement (the autho of Naruto)

To be honest, I don’t know what to write or how to write it. But right now, I want to tell Mr. Toriyama the things I always wanted to ask him and my feelings. I grew up with Mr. Toriyama’s manga, Dr. Slump in elementary school and Dragon Ball in high school. It was natural for me to have Mr. Toriyama’s manga next to me as a part of my life. Even when I was feeling down, the weekly Dragon Ball always made me forget about it. It was a salvation for me, a country boy with nothing to do. That’s how much I enjoyed Dragon Ball! When I was a college student, Dragon Ball, which had been a part of my life for so long, suddenly ended. I was overwhelmed by a tremendous sense of loss and didn’t know what to look forward to. But at the same time, it was an opportunity for me to realize from the bottom of my heart the greatness of Mr. Toriyama, who created Dragon Ball. I want to create a work like Mr. Toriyama’s! I want to be like Mr. Toriyama! As I chased after Mr. Toriyama, the sense of loss gradually disappeared. Because it was fun to create manga. By chasing after Mr. Toriyama, I was able to find new joy. Mr. Toriyama was always my compass. He was my inspiration. I may be bothering Mr. Toriyama, but I am grateful to him without permission. To me, he was a savior and a god of manga. When I first met him, I was so nervous that I couldn’t say a word. But as I met him more and more at the Tezuka Osamu Cultural Prize jury meeting, I was able to talk to him. I will never forget the time when I talked to him about how much fun Dragon Ball was, like a child with Oda-san, as Dragon Ball children, and how he smiled a little shyly. I just received the news of Mr. Toriyama’s death. I am overwhelmed by a tremendous sense of loss, even greater than when Dragon Ball ended… I don’t know how to deal with this hole in my heart yet. I can’t read my favorite Dragon Ball right now. I don’t even feel like I’m writing this text properly to Mr. Toriyama. Everyone in the world was still looking forward to Mr. Toriyama’s work. If one Dragon Ball wish really comes true… I’m sorry… It may be selfish, but I’m sad, Mr. Toriyama. Thank you, Mr. Akira Toriyama, for 45 years of wonderful work. And thank you very much for your hard work. To the bereaved family, I pray that you will find peace and comfort in the midst of your grief. I pray for the peaceful repose of the soul of Mr. Akira Toriyama.

And finally one of Toriyama's close friends Masakazu Katsura (Video Girl AI author) also had this to say:

I feel drained and unmotivated. I don’t want to write a comment like this. But I’ll write something. Once I start writing, I’ll have so much to say that it will probably turn into a long text, but I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. I apologize for the rambling, as my thoughts are still not in order. Looking back, all I have are fond memories of the times we spent together – whether it was visiting your house, having you stay over at mine, or going out on trips. Every time we talked on the phone, we would laugh so hard that we would get tired. You were a funny person. You were perverted, cute, sharp-tongued, and humble. We collaborated on some manga projects, which were also a lot of fun. But 99% of the time, we never talked about manga. As a manga artist, the gap between the way we saw things and our level of skill was too great, and I never really felt your greatness. I know it now. But when I was with you, I never felt it at all. That’s just the kind of person you were. That’s why I still can’t think of you as anything other than a friend, even though you were a great manga artist. Last summer, before I had surgery, you heard about it somewhere and sent me an email. It was really rare for you to send an email, and it was so full of concern for my health. We’ve been friends for 40 years, but that might have been the first time I felt such kindness from you. I thought it was going to snow. You know, you usually only talk about jokes or nonsense. What the hell, you shouldn’t be worried about other people, right? I called you a little before that, and I was feeling sick all over, so I said, “I’ll probably go first, so have a farewell party for me, Toriyama! And make sure you give a speech, because it’ll make me look good!” But you didn’t keep your promise. I really regret not calling you after you emailed me. I just can’t believe that I can’t talk to you on the phone for hours anymore. There are so many things I want to talk to you about. There are so many things I want to say. Even if you don’t care about what I have to say, you can just zone out like you always do. I just want to talk to you again. The last thing you said to me was “OK” in response to my email asking you to contact me again. That’s just not good enough. I’m so sad.

And the Dragon Quest LEGEND, Yuji Horii, too...

I am still filled with disbelief at the sudden news of Mr. Toriyama’s passing. I have known Mr. Toriyama since I was a writer for Weekly Shonen Jump. At the recommendation of my editor, Torishima-san, I decided to ask him to draw the illustrations for the game Dragon Quest when we were launching it. For over 37 years since then, he has drawn countless charming characters, including character designs and monster designs. The history of Dragon Quest is one that has been intertwined with Mr. Toriyama’s character designs. Mr. Toriyama and the late Mr. Sugiyama were longtime collaborators on Dragon Quest. I can’t believe they’re gone… I can’t find the words to express my sorrow. This is truly, truly a tragedy.

Torishima, his "evil editor" (the one the Mashirito from Dr Slump is inspired by), also put out a statement:

"The last time we worked together was on the book we published last year, 'Dr. Mashirito's Strongest Manga Technique.' In that book, 'Torishima and Toriyama Back Then' was the last manga we made together. 45 years, thank you very much. Mr. Toriyama, you were the best manga artist I have ever known."

(this is what he's talking about)

Jackie Chan statement:

"Akira Toriyama-sensei, thank you for creating so many classics, they will always be with the world, farewell 🙏"

French president Emmanuel Macron:

the tweet reads "To Akira Toriyama and his millions of fans who grew up with him",

The authograph says "for Ma-ku-ro-n president" (to President Macron); the hand-drawn parts are the little Goku and the dragon balls surrounding him, alongside the autograph. It was drawn over a printed paper (as per custom when getting an autograph)

The date indicates it was given to him during the Olympic Games in Tokyo.

Yabuki Kentaro (To Love Ru's author) (link to the tweet)

Takao Koyama (screen writer for 90% of the episodes and the movies) says Toriyama was sick for over a year at this point. He himself is pretty badly sick as well.

Hiroki Takahashi (Makafushigi Adventure, first DB opening)

Hironobu Kageyama (Chala Head Chala and everything else)

"Singing 'CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA!' is the biggest medal in my life! The loss of the sun is too much to bear But the power of Toriyama-sensei's works Will continue to be a strong light And may it illuminate people all over the world. May you rest in peace."

(some more of the Editorial department of Jump can be found here, with a good browser extension you should be able to get the gist of it)

Feel free to reblog with your favorite manga panels, interviews, trivias, and let's pay a homage to his life and work, alright??

[haru-natsuka]

The fate (Anastacius x Female Reader x Claude)

Chapter 6: Obelian Emperor

The couple, though formally married, harbored a deep and profound hatred for each other. Their relationship was so damaged that it seemed impossible to mend. Every interaction between them was laced with bitterness and resentment, their words filled with sharp barbs and their silences laden with tension and suppressed anger. Despite their formal union, their marriage was nothing more than a form of torture, each one trapped in a suffocating cycle of hatred and hostility towards the other.

Female reader will be named as Celestial

"Athy, comes here!"

Despite the empress's attempt to call the young princess to come closer, Athasia seemed to be frozen in shock, as if her life was flashing before her eyes. Her body trembled as though she was caught in the middle of a terrible nightmare, unable to move or escape the situation. It was as though a wave of fear and panic had paralyzed her, causing her to tremble and freeze in place, unable to comply with the empress's command.

Claude paid no mind to the empress, his focus completely on the child. His face was expressionless as he studied her features, taking in every detail with a critical eye. This was the second time that Claude had seen the child's face, and his reaction was far from warm and welcoming. Instead, he maintained a cold and stoic demeanor, leaving the child to shiver in fear at his unfeeling gaze. It was a far from pleasant encounter for the young princess, as she faced Claude's cold and emotionless stare. What a warm welcome he provided to the young princess.

The small, velvet bag that the princess had been holding in her hand suddenly fell to the ground as she lost her grip, and some of the jewels inside spilled out. The sight of the jewels scattering out caused the princess to grow even paler, her eyes wide with fear and trepidation. It was as though she was filled with horror over the prospect of what might happen next and the consequences she might face for stealing the jewels from the palace. Her secret and long time effort had gone to waste.

"That face... I've seen it before"

Claude's voice was cold and emotionless as he spoke at the end of his breath. His words seemed to come out with a hint of recognition, as if he had seen the princess's face before. As his mood soured, a coldness seemed to settle upon the atmosphere around them, as if the very air had grown icy and chilled. The atmosphere became ominous and tense, as if the entire environment was responding to the emperor's dark emotions.

Athanasia was fixated and entranced by the emperor's presence, studying him intently. It was a surreal moment for her, as this was the first time she was face to face with her supposed father who had abandoned her since birth.

"Yes, was it that dancer from Siodonna. You look like that wench"

Claude spoke with cold and detached tone, referring to his late concubine and addressing her as "that wench" rather than by her name. It was clear that he had loved her dearly in the past but now held nothing but hatred towards her. He was a self-centered and ungrateful individual who only cared about being loved and did not reciprocate those feelings in return. He was someone who was selfish to a person who had loved him. Diana and Anastacius

"And I think I remember what that wench named you. I believe it was Athanasia"

Claude stepped closer to his daughter and crunched down to her level, tugging her chin to make her look up at him. The sight of Athanasia looking so frightened, as if her soul had left her body, was something the empress had never seen before. Unable to hold back any longer, the empress picked up a nearby vase, not caring about its worth or any consequences she might face, and threw it at the space between Claude and his bodyguard, Felix.

"Don't you dare to come any closer. Never EVER TOUCH MY CHILD" The empress's voice rang out with a fierce protectiveness, her words carrying a weight of authority and determination.

Celestial glared at Claude with a deep-seated hatred, her eyes burning with anger. Without hesitation, she scooped up Athanasia in her arms, placing her head on her shoulder, effectively shielding her from the sight of the tyrant.

Despite the injury she had inflicted on her husband earlier by throwing the vase, she showed no regret or remorse, as the pain she had caused him was not enough to diminish the hatred she felt towards him for his past transgressions. Claude observed the interaction between the empress and the princess with a glint of curiosity and intrigue in his eyes.

"Interesting," he said wryly, his eyes flickering between the empress and the young princess.

"She's not even your child, yet you treat her as one. I've never caught that the two of you being this close"

His words were dripping with sarcasm, as he seemed to derive some sort of perverse pleasure from witnessing the bond between the empress and the princess. With a wave of his hand, Claude used his power to take control of Athanasia's body and lift her into the air. The young princess, now suspended in the air, found herself in Claude's grasp, her small figure dangling from the emperor's grip, as if a marionette being controlled by a puppet master.

Celestial watched in horror as Claude effortlessly lifted Athanasia mid-air using his power. The sight of her child being helpless in the emperor's clutches fueled her anger and determination to protect her daughter at all costs. The scene brought back painful memories of that fateful day at the Ruby Palace, and the sound of the princess' crying still echoed in her ears like a haunting reminder of the tragedy that unfolded. She clenched her fists, her lips trembling with a mixture of anger and fear.

"Let her go!" she demanded, her voice shaking with urgency. "Release her immediately, you heartless monster!" The emperor's tone was chilly and emotionless as he spoke to the empress, his eyes fixed on her with a cold, penetrating glare.

"I sent you to learn etiquette," he remarked, his voice biting with thinly veiled irritation. "It seems your lessons have been ineffective." He paused for a moment, his gaze remained on the empress as he unleashed a subtle threat.

"Do not test my limits, empress," he warned, his words laced with a dangerous undertone.

"If you want her, come out yourself and take her from me"

Claude challenged her, well aware of the empress's inability to defy him. Only few knew the reasons behind the empress's confinement within the Emperor Palace, as he was the one who bounded her to the place. Celestial was bound by the constraints of a spell he had placed upon her long ago in exchange for Athanasia safety. It was their agreement back then.

The empress's heart ached with a deep sense of hopelessness and despair, a sorrow etched upon her features as she stood motionless, watching helplessly as the emperor carried her child away from her. She stood there, frozen in place, her hands clenched into tight fists at her sides as she fought back the overwhelming emotions coursing through her.

"Give her back to me. Claude, I'm willing to do anything! Stop killing the people I loved!"

@fluffy-koalala @happydeertraveler

Chapter 5 << Previous, Next >> Chapter 7

[acanthawrites]

Found on quora - don’t ask me about my google searches, sometimes in the middle of a the night I just need answers.

Why do fandoms ship SasuNaru?

SHORT ANSWER: because Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is the most developed of the entire manga and because Kishimoto doesn't know how to write good female characters.

A LONGER ANSWER NEEDS TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT MORE DETAILS.

The two presumed love interests of the show, Hinata and Sakura, are more often than not, shallow lovesick girls who didn't do anything to really build up their relationship with Naruto and Sasuke. Hinata was always hidden behind a tree stalking him, keeping the distances, even when Naruto needed a friend more than anything else. She was “shy", ok, I get it, but her attitude is incredibly annoying, especially since she had such a good introduction. She could've been so much more than a cute girl serving as human shield when the narrative needed her to.

Sakura chased after Sasuke all the time, confessing her love left and right, but she never really took into account the guy's feelings towards her. When she was little, she even asked Sasuke to bring her with him to carry out his revenge plans. Naruto, even as a young boy, never contemplated such a choice, because he wanted Sasuke to be happy and healthy and he knew that, by severing all his bonds, Sasuke would've fallen into darkness and despair even further. That's the difference between the obsessive kind of love showed by Sakura and the completely selfless kind of love showed by Naruto. Even to this day, Sakura is merely chasing after her adolescent crush. She didn't even have the time to actually get to know Sasuke since, after the war, the guy was away from the village for 2 years, then when they reconnected he almost immediately impregnated her and after 1–2 yrs at best, he went MIA again, on a super secret mission that prevented him to return home even once in 9 yrs… He couldn't write trivial letters to his family, but was in contact with Naruto all the time, communicating crucial Intel for the village (sharing classified info isn't supposed to be more difficult than writing personal stuff to a wife?). Sasuke didn't even recognize his daughter's face when he saw her... So much for a beautiful love story! At least, Naruto and Hinata actually spent time together, before becoming husband and wife and after, as a family with two beloved children.

The point is: had kishimoto written his female leads a little bit better, their role as realistic love interests would've been more widely accepted and even welcomed. There's no particolar need to “ship” two male characters together, so if many people do it with this particular “couple”, is because Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is far from being the mere byproduct of trivial fetishization.

Now, clearly shonen manga aren't, usually, concerned with pairings and relationships; nobody really wanted or expected romance to be the main focus of the story, but kishimoto spent a hell of a lot of time describing in fine details the love between Naruto and Sasuke, filling the narrative surrounding them with symbolism and tropes usually found in romantic literature. Just to mention some:

Spiderman horizontal “kiss" (after Sasuke collapsed at the end of the first VOTE fight);

thinking about the other in bed, or under the starry night sky with a hand on the chest, wishing to be reunited soon;

declaring the intention of dying together;

Noticing the compatibility of fire and wind as elements that always amplify and compliment each other;

Begging on the knees, in front of the Raikage, to avoid the other’s execution;

having a full blown panic attack at the thought of the other being executed;

Never giving up on saving the other even when everybody else already did;

I could go on, but the point is:

Why did Kishimoto portray this relationship in a purposefully ambiguous fashion?

There isn't a clear cut answer even after years. It's possible that the author liked to '’troll” the audience by leaving some suggestive images here and there… Heck, he even drew a wholeass front-page with Naruto and Sasuke wearing necklaces with each other's face on them! But simple fan service doesn't cut it for me. I don't think it was just that.

Kishimoto decided to write a love story from the beginning to the end, however it was a platonic love between two people of the same sex.

It was platonic because Kishimoto never stated anything different: his original idea of making Naruto and Sasuke a couple is just fake news spread by a Spanish forum that became viral for obvious reasons.

It wasn't even a brotherly love, however, since Naruto himself said that, despite the whole reincarnations thing, he is not Ashura and Sasuke is not Indra. Their relationship is unique, infact, it didn't end in tragedy like the other ones. They didn't grew up as brothers from the start, they learned to love and understand eachother through years of suffering and pushing-pulling.

Naruto is Sasuke's most important person, his one and only… while Sasuke is for Naruto the ideal he always attempted to reach. Their relationship is perfectly balanced, because they push each other to be better, neither is the doormat of the other, while their marriages are very unbalanced, with passive and submissive wives who see them as Gods.

So in the end, this love story between two men is something bound to create confusion among the fans. Kishimoto didn't avoid to make things complicated and allusive since the very beginning of the manga (two rivals kissing is obviously just for comedic purposes, but it definitely set the tune for other events. Sasuke even remembered this kiss when he was convinced Haku had killed him, almost as it was an episode he actually gave some thought to). It's all a matter of interpretation: fans can see more than just a friendship or something different than brotherly affection because the author purposefully drew/wrote questionable situations/dialogues. However, it was never Kishimoto's intentions to make SasuNaru a canon couple. Especially since the next gen needed to be created and two gay men can't have biological children togheter anyway.

Sasuke and Naruto are soulmates and they don't need to share a carnal relationship to be the best love story of the manga.

At the end of the day, I think this was Kishimoto's plan all along (or at least since Sasuke's introduction): writing about the most powerful kind of love one can think of, capable of surviving everything, even unrelenting hatred.

People can easily see this concept as something else and I myself would've loved a NaruSasu ending, to be quite honest, but what we need to refer to, while discussing this kind of topics, is always canon material. Canonically, Naruto and Sasuke are two heterosexual males, married with children.

[mrpuzzlessimp420]

Mario Simulator (Joke Fic)

Chapter 2

Warnings: Mention of Lobotomy, Blackmailing, Kidnapping, Plotting Murder (none of these are taken seriously)

Ships: Marware, SMG34, BatteryAcid (Mr Puzzles x Orange Juice)-Mentioned

An idea popped into Mario's head, quite surprising as he probably didn't have any braincells left.

A very... unique idea.

You see, there was something actually... unnormal about Mario.

He was what you would call...

A yandere.

Now Mario wasn't your Ayano Aishi "I've never felt ANY emotions before Senpai!" yandere, he was your "though emotionally stunted still had emotions" yandere.

His entire life he had never felt strong emotions before which wasn't questioned by literally anyone as they just thought it was just because he was you know Mario or because he had been implied to be lobotomized in that one episode.

It also wasn't questioned when he started acting coo-coo crazy over Mr Puzzles as they just cracked it up to just be Mario being Mario.

So hiding this fact about himself from others was as easy as forcing your friends to kiss for a tiktok trend.

But like any yandere (insert-literally-any-character) fanfic, Mario had some roadblocks that stopped him from being with his one and only true loves...

Rivals.

Now Mario was used to having rivals, love related or not but Orange Juice was a special case.

Unlike the others, Orange Juice was actually dating Mr Puzzles which meant that if he just straight up murdered him, Mr Puzzles would be depressed, wear grey/black hoodies all the time and be emo and Mario couldn't have that! Being emo was the greatest sin of humanity!

He'd had to think of a plan to get Orange Juice and Mr Puzzles to break up or for Orange Juice to be extremely toxic so when he goes to kill him, Puzzles wouldn't be a sad depressed babygirl!

Unluckily for him, Mario was a number 1 lazy boy and didn't want to go through all the effort of figuring something out so he thought of the next best option: get someone to figure it out for him!

Now how would be his unwilling victim?

Saiko?

No she has had to much character development that she would drop kick him into the sun if he asked her to revert back to the days she was crazily obsessing over Boopkins (really though, Boopkins??)

Luigi?

No he was weird in his own way that Mario didn't want to deal with.

SMG3?

Maybe.

He'd probably need some sort of blackmail though.

Luckily for Mario, he always kept a copy of SMG3's gay little diary on hand, just in case.

A loud rigging bell went that snapped Mario out of his thoughts, it was the end of break!

And he didn't get to eat his spaghetti-flavoured apple :(.

Moving on from that, Mario knew what his next move was. At lunch he would kidnap SMG3, blackmail him to make a plan that would get Orange Juice and Mr Puzzles to break up, force him to help in the actual plan himself and make him promise to never tell anyone about the situation ever.

Yeah that seemed like a solid plan, what could possibly go wrong?

The next two lessons went by like SMG4 and SMG3's will-they-won't-they relationship that will probably never be canonized because of half of the fandom's homophobicness and their insistence that their brothers.

Right as Mario was considering drowning a random girl in a bucket of full of acid because of how clingy she was being, the bell went signalling it was lunch.

He ran out of the classroom with no time to lose, not even caring that the teacher yelled at him that "the bell doesn't dismiss him, she does" or whatever that crap was.

After searching for what felt like weeks, he finally found SMG3 packing up his stuff in a classroom that was now empty. His face slightly smiling at a image on his emo skull phone.

It was now his chance!

Mario grabbed a black bag out of thin air and, without SMG3 noticing, put it on SMG3's head and tightened it.

Now all he needed to do was find a dark, empty room that no-one would dare walk near to.

The broom closet! (DID YOU GET THE BROOM CLOSET ENDING? THE BROOM CLOSET- The author is then choked to death because they referenced another piece of media)

Dragging SMG3's lifeless body that definitely was losing oxygen by the second and not at all trying to hide himself, waving to others whenever they passed who just chalked it up to be Mario being Mario. When he finally reached the broom closet, he dumped the poor man in it, locking himself and SMG3 inside.

After finding a chair that definitely looked out of place in a broom closet that only held brooms, he placed SMG3 on it and tied his hands behind the chair with some spare rope.

Realising he needed SMG3 to talk during this blackmailing, Mario finally took the black bag off of SMG3's head.

"What the hell Mario?" SMG3 shouted after panting for oxygen for 4 minutes straight, his voice not being heard from the outside as the closet was noise cancelling.

"Mario wants you do to something for him." Mario said sinisterly, which was hard to tell due to his voice only being voice clips.

"Hell no I'll do something for you! Last time I did so I was humiliated on the internet!" SMG3 argued, not wanting anything to do with Mario.

"Well.. Mario has your gay diary sooo.. :D" Mario said, grabbing the copy of SMG3's notebook out of his skirt that has pockets.

SMG3 immediately freezed up, a pink blush spreading around his checks.

"Y-you wouldn't leak that would you?" SMG3 asked, sounding extremely nervous. No one could see his deepest and darkest thoughts and know about his massive crush on SMG4.

"I won't if you do this for me.." Mario stated as menacingly as he could, leaning down to SMG3.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife...

"Fine... I'll do it..." He said, giving in to Mario's demands.

"Yippeee!!" Mario squeaked, though he was sad he didn't get to use his brand new cringe memes machine to torture SMG3 with but he could use it at another time.

"What do you want me to do then? Make spaghetti for you? Force me to a dumb challenge? Humiliate myself on camera?" SMG3 asked.

"Help me commit murder." Mario said blankly.

"Yeah sure why not." SMG3 stated, he selled bombs on the black market for a living, murder wasn't that extreme that he wouldn't do it. "Who is it and what's the plan?"

"Actually I wanted you to make a plan for me" Mario rubbed the back of his head, pulling a silly face while doing so.

"Of course you did.." He said, not surprised at all.

"Well to be honest, I need your help to get Orange Juice and Mr Puzzles to break up so I can go kill Orange Juice." Mario stated, extremely casually.

"Honestly wouldn't take you for a yandere type of guy"

"The author's friend thought it be funny."

"Well, I've already thought of some ideas so let's plan this!"

30 minutes later and they had already made a Plan A, a Plan B for if it goes wrong, a Plan C etc. Now all they needed to do was set it into motion...

(part 3 coming whenever I feel like it babieee-)

[intermundia]

i'm curious, have you ever talked here about your opinions on star wars' politics and the jedi involvement with it? if not then i'm very curious about your thoughts on it. i understand star wars' politics are quite basic and non-radical (republic good dictatorship bad) and i don't necessarily disagree with it but i wonder if the jedi shouldn't have been more involved and possibly more radical (to the left) instead of just, idk, not giving their two cents on it. i know it's a hot take but it seems to me they would benefit more if they were more into politics. i would love to know your thoughts on it.

So, I think the answer depends on if you want a Watsonian or Doyalist explanation. If we’re looking though the lens of fictional in-universe reasons, we know that the Jedi HAVE tried being directly involved with running the government—it led to thousands of years of destructive civil war in the galaxy, with splinter groups of dark side users attempting to seize supreme executive power, and the Jedi militant about preventing it. They willingly surrendered power to the representatives of the people of the galaxy for a reason, not out of negligence or indifference to galactic suffering, and we should always remember the history.

The Jedi chose to work inside the guiding structure of a sovereign civic government, outside the Order and answerable to the people as a check on their power, as they are not democratically elected. It takes strong democratic civic institutions to fight against greedy corporate ownership of society. Would the Jedi’s direct, undemocratic lobbying or enforcement have been enough to change the minds of everyone and reinforce community bonds? I simply don't think it would, and the risks of them trying are unacceptably high. The Jedi are powerful Force users, and that’s always relevant to consider.

You have to be careful when what you Can do becomes what you Should do becomes what you Must do, despite any collateral damage, especially when the range of your potential is broad. The Jedi know intimately that the more powerful you are, the easier it is to feel entitled to interfere and impose your own judgement, which is dangerous, as it will always be based on partial information and informed by unconscious bias. If you do not stay impartial or only help in limited ways, you can begin to lose your sense of perspective. It is also a self-reinforcing behavior, and the consequences rise for getting pulled into a control loop that dives into the dark side out of greed can lead to considerable fallout for you and society.

You can easily begin with good intentions but be corrupted over time by even the smallest original selfish impulses snowballing on each other when the consequences don't stop you but instead encourage you to further exert control. There’s a children's story about not giving a mouse even one cookie, because it will always take more afterward. The wisdom of the Jedi is in their restraint. It may seem frustrating that they don't interfere whenever and wherever they see fit, accepting that they cannot stop some particular injustices, because their intentions are to prevent a worse evil from happening later.

It's hard to appreciate counterfactuals, like yeah the galaxy fell after a thousand years, but we have no way of knowing what suffering would exist in those same thousand years if the Jedi had not surrendered large parts of their political discretion to the Republic. When they did, there followed a golden age of peace that it flourished for a long time before undergoing a crisis where a Force user took over again, before returning to civic governance with a New Republic. If we look to the OT and beyond, that's what the division of Luke and Leia represent, in a way. Leia has a different perspective and priorities and channels of power. Luke should be a warrior monk who occasionally touches the divine in his quest for peace, not involved in politics.

If we’re looking at it through the lens of the author, I think you have to resist the urge to try to make the Jedi into some real-world equivalent religious paramilitary force, or leftist group despite caring a great deal for those values. You have to remember that it's space opera, it's myth. They're theatrical characters demonstrating the ideal of public service without recompense, an impossibly good group of people with legitimate and earned moral authority, who act in the best interest of peace and collaboration, as inspiration to children to model in their interior lives and moral understanding of the world. They're conceptual of pro-social hopeful generous spirit in our hearts, glorious moral knights with glowing swords, not politicians at desks yk.

They're an icon of something that every person can choose to do in their own lives, not just something we can demand from public servants. I know this may be a bit unsatisfying intellectually, but you have to keep the genre of Star Wars in mind, the space opera has mythic logic and operates in the realm of symbolism. When Lucas uses scientific sounding and political sounding language, he's still trying to communicate with the 10-year-olds who don't care about the complexities and nuances of the real world. It's about narrative shorthand and moral signaling that symbiosis, mutual thriving through selflessness, is better than greed, selfishness, and cruelty. That's the genre, you know? Making the Jedi into politicians wouldn't serve the narrative purposes of Lucas's epic story.

[luvly-writer]

"XOXO"

Ch. 7 Angel and Ivy

-•-

Autho's note: I am trying to post as long as I have a free space. I am genuinely excited for this story and it has me going. Hope you enjoy another chapter!

Warnings: None

Taglist: @w31rdg1rl @mxtokko @loonymoonystuff @grandstrangerphanthom @1lellykins

Masterlist:

"Tim...Tim...TIM! Are you listening to me?!" Snapped Y/n. She was currently taking a bubble bath with Tim on the phone as they discussed their next move. On the other hand, Tim tried his hardest to divide his attention between the girl and the case board in the apartment. He had his headpiece on as he observed the evidence in front of him. "Yes, angel face, I am listening"

"What did I just tell you then?" she quipped sounding exasperrated.

"If you must know, you just told me that I must make an appearance as your date for the winter debutant dinner because now that your parents are aware of my existence and that it is quote-on-quote serious, they want to meet me and that it is important that I make a good impression especially since Mr. Morris is going to be there."

"Hmm, good, you were listening. As I was saying. Ever since the picture of our kiss, every time we go out to dinner or lunch, or brunch, or just any time we have been pictured together these last few weeks, they throw remarks on how good of a man you could actually be for me when Morris is right there. They keep inviting him for dinner, Tim! They are still pushing! They still see this as a temporary thing and not something serious!" she said exasperated.

"It IS temporary" he adds hearing her groan.

"Timothy that is so not the point! You have to make the impression of the century so that they turn their attention to you or at least consider you a runner-up in the race. I can't keep on hearing about which opera Francis enjoys more and which book I should read next to have conversation topics with him and what play is playing so that Francis can take me with him to see if we give it a chance-"

"His name is Francis...Francis Moris?" asked Tim containing his laughter. He put on some gloves and began examining a new formula that was found by Jason at Avery Park. "His parents didn't love him I see, with a name like that?" He said as he began to laugh

"THAT IS SO NOT THE POINT" She whined.

"Are you sinking on the bubbles again?" he asked amusedly. In the last few weeks, they had actually started finding out that they enjoyed each other's company. Having to share many dinners, brunches, lunches, and even some breakfasts, they found some common interest reluctantly. "Yes but only because there is this stupid boy unwilling to focus on the important details. My life is on the line." she grumbled

"I can assure you it isn't" he quipped back and laughed once again as she let out a string of curses. "It might as well be, Tim!" she said.

"Since you won't take the downfall of my life seriously, what are you doing?" she asked boredly

"Inspecting some substances that were found in Avery Park for Batman," he said taking notes on what he was seeing.

"Substances on Avery Park? That sounds...messy. Please tell me that none of the rouges are planning to attack this weekend. We really do need to make that apperance." she said leaning back and closing her eyes.

"Well, we hope not. Poison Ivy has been extremely suspicious the last few weeks. We have no idea when or where or if she might strike." he said.

"Hmmm, probably at the Chefield's gala in three weeks. He is making a new investment in the small clearing in Avery Park intending to build a new power plant that will go directly to his hotel. It's close to a small river and all the construction will cause major damage to the already decreasing green areas of Gotham. It is a pity, that place is beautiful. Clara, Satine, and I would escape there every once in a while to have a picnic." Y/n expressed as she finally began getting out of the bath and drying herself. Tim's eyes opened, this was new information to him and it helped the case greatly.

"How do you know this?" He questioned

"Oh, through Satine. She has been trying to convince Senator Gomez to decline his contract. If that doesn't work, Clara has all the information ready to blackmail him into declining. She will tell his wife that Satine is not the first one of his lovers and that the real reason the kid's maid had to be sent away was because she was pregnant with his child. Plus, my mother and Mrs. Chefield have tea every second Saturday of the month, and because of so, I got early access to the invitation. This also means that if he doesn't believe Clara's threats to air him, she will tell me so that I let it slip to her during one of her meetings with my mother. Either way, the options are either he declines or his career and family life are over. I am sure that a cheating scandal and an unsupported child with the finishing touch of a divorce won't look good for the upcoming elections."she explains leaving Tim amazed.

"Who would have known you three were bitches for a good cause" he said making her laugh, a sound that was surely growing on him.

"Like the bitchy Charlie's Angels" she joked as a response

"Whose Charlie then?" he asked

"I don't know, sometimes morality and justice, sometimes revenge, sometimes self-gain, depends on the highest bidder," she responded, her tone full of humor.

"On a serious note, you really think that is when she will strike?"

"Oh absolutely, good thing it will probably be canceled so, people won't be harmed right?"

"You have no idea the advantage that you have granted to us," he said as he began typing a message relaying this entire information to Bruce.

"It's a good thing to always have connections, I guess," Y/n said as she finished her routine and got ready for bed. She placed her cell phone on the pillow next to her head as she got comfortable. She had to fight the yawn that was escaping her. Unfortunately, Tim heard it and stopped what he was doing.

"Before you go, what color is your dress for the debutante's dinner? I want to match my tie with it."

"It's light blue with a lot of sparkles," she said with a dreamy tone.

"You like your sparkle don't you?" he asked amused at her cute tired state.

"Who doesn't?! Sparkles are the highlight of Christmas. Snowflakes, ornaments, snow, everything sparkles! Plus, who doesn't love Christmas? It's the best time of the year!" she said, sleep-slurring her voice. "You don't have to match...thank you though" she said.

He smiled at his phone. "Good night, angel face. You can barely speak coherently." "Yeah, stay safe and warm tonight, Timmy. I need you there."

"Of course, angel. I will be there. Thank you for the information on Poison Ivy." he answered before hanging up. Every day he learned something new about Y/n. She had this facade of being a stone-cold bitch yet, once you work past that she really was just a girl. She was sentimental, always keeping every letter and small sweet thing given to her. She was sweet to the elderly and surprisingly never acted snobby with anyone who worked for her. The maid, butler, and drivers were always treated fairly and you could see that they cared for the girl. She tipped fairly in the restaurants and had a surprisingly good sense of humor. Given another circumstance, he had deduced he was sure they would have been friends...maybe even more.

---

fun facts:

tim started caller her angel face after the post. He originally said it sarcastically because of how much of a nightmare she can be, but stuck with it just cause he really thinks she looks and is an angel. That’s her contact name.

Y/n loves it.

-•-

[bestworstcase]

actually comparing the divine ultimatum in the sanctioned version of ‘the two brothers’ to what the god of light really said to ozma is interesting. the received version is:

if your kind has learned to live in harmony with one another and set aside their differences, then we shall once again live among you, and humanity will be made whole again. but if your kind is unchanged, if you demand our blessings while still fighting amongst yourselves, then man will be found irredeemable and your world will be wiped from existence.

and the sanctioned version is:

If they are worthy, we will take their forms and walk among them as equals. If not, we will take back our gifts and start over elsewhere. […] Humanity will make it plain. If they come together in unity and find a way to destroy the evil in the world and within themselves, then they are worthy. If not … we will let them burn.

there are… two interesting alterations here.

#1, "we shall once again live among you and humanity will be made whole" becomes "the gods will take human forms and walk among us as our equals." gestures at ‘the gift of the moon’ and ozpin’s commentary thereupon…

One interpretation of this story focuses on the fact that the people caused the problem in the first place. But in my view, it is only natural for us to want to bring more light into the world and “reach for the sun.” And on the brighter side, if you’ll excuse the pun, people were also part of the solution. They not only replaced the sun, a celestial gift from the all-powerful God of Light, but also improved upon it through their own ingenuity. Most importantly, they could not have accomplished this magnificent, godly feat without uniting for a common purpose in a way they never had before. The world once was divided between day and night, light and darkness, but by coming together, and overcoming their inherent jealousy and resentment, people made the darkness just a little bit brighter for all.

…wherein ozpin sidles right up to the precipice of I Stand With My Damned Wife: it’s "only natural" to "reach for the sun," used here explicitly as an allegory for the gifts or blessing of the "all-powerful god of light," whom humanity "replaced" with something better through their own "ingenuity" (even the smallest spark of hope is enough to ignite change, and in time, man’s passion, resourcefulness, and ingenuity led them to the tools that would help even the odds) by uniting for a "common purpose" (when banded together, unified by a common enemy, they are a noticeable threat).

he also echoes the closing passage of ‘the shallow sea’ here in naming jealousy and resentment as the problem ("And the descendants of the Humans who turned away from our god’s great gift have always carried envy in their hearts. To this day, they resent us for reminding them of what they are not and what they never can be."), which suggests he did understand exactly what salem meant when she quoted that myth in relation to the brothers—that the brothers were jealous and resentful because humankind had risen anew without them and had no need of their old masters any longer.

he’s still talking about humankind setting aside their differences and coming together, of course, but whereas in previous commentaries ozpin frames this as a difficult ideal to strive for lest we all destroy ourselves, here his tone turns hopeful: coming together is more than possible, humanity has done it before to replace the gods’ design with something greater.

gestures at until the end. "to live free, or die, it’s all the same/the enemy was right, there’s no reclaiming/in waves of shame/we’re desperate to make amends…"

the essential problem for ozma is this: by the time he becomes headmaster ozpin of beacon academy, he’s come around to salem’s thinking on the mandate, to whit that redemption is impossible and thus the only choices are to accept death or to try, once more, to fight for humanity’s freedom. yet he still believes in the infinite divine authority of the gods—he is certain that rebellion can end only in death—and moreover he believes that what he’s done is unforgivable, that it is impossible to make amends. and he is also unwilling to just give up and submit humankind as it is now to the final judgment; his hope is gone but his conscience compels him to keep trying, because he can’t bear to condemn the whole world to death.

hence the book. on its face ‘fairytales of remnant’ is a propagandistic hit piece on salem but read from cover to cover it’s also a desolate apology and plea for forgiveness: history is important and we must listen to each other, he writes in the forward. here is the story about (the witch) the warrior in the woods, who deserved more help than she was given. here is a story about a foolish man who sacrificed his wife and children to appease the cruel, fickle sun. here is the myth you quoted to me once: i didn’t understand you then, but i do now, and there is a deeper truth in this story than i knew. here is my favorite story; it’s about a huntsman who still grieves his wife and a family that finds each other again after parting ways in acrimony.

here is a story about a foolish king who destroys himself out of fear that he will make the wrong choice, and the love that saves him. here is the nightmare i have about you, told as a cautionary tale against projecting our own evil onto the face of others we fear. and here’s a story about we humans scapegoating those who were changed, hating and fearing our own loved ones because they do not look the same. here is a story about me, and my failures, and the girl whose trust i shattered, and i will leave it to you to decide if i am worthy of forgiveness. here’s the story that tore us apart; the only good ending i can imagine anymore is the one where humanity replaces the gods. and this story is about my grief, my despair, and why i keep trying.

and here is a story about you, and the hero i was before all of this; look far enough ahead, and the hero becomes a villain, but hopefully the reverse can be true, too. here is a story about humanity coming together to replace and perfect our god-given gifts; maybe we can’t be fixed, but we could start over. i keep telling these stories because i am afraid and uncertain and i want to believe that all of it really mattered.

like beacon tower, built in the image of her prison, the book is a cry for help hidden between the lines of a hollow condemnation. in the thousands of years between then and now, he’s corrupted "the gods will return to rule over us all" into "the gods will be remade in our image," because ozma doesn’t want to save the world unless she can still be in it.

and #2, ozma says the quiet part out loud.

"if you demand our blessings while still fighting among yourself," the god of light tells him, "mankind will be found irredeemable."

take these words at face value, and the divine mandate doesn’t actually sound unreasonable: mankind mustn’t approach the gods with a sense of entitlement, and they should try to cooperate with each other and work through conflict peacefully. that’s within the realm of difficult, but not impossible. but…

taken into context as the divine answer to salem’s defiance and the rebellion against the gods, his true meaning is that mankind must come together in obedient submission to their creators, repudiating salem and all she stands for. it is her "selfishness and arrogance" for which all of humanity stands condemned.

ozma grasps this. i’d wager he understood it the moment salem told him of the rebellion and why the gods ended their "experiment" the first time. and so his telling of the task he’s been given is more honest: humanity must "find a way to destroy the evil in the world and in themselves" to prove worthy.

in ‘the two brothers,’ the "evil in the world" is explicitly the grimm, whom the god light disdains as unliving creatures formed from malice and hate for no purpose but "destroying all that is good in the world." the god of darkness protests that the grimm are more than that, chiding his brother to remember that they are the same. and the brothers made humans by combining their natures into one being, just as dark made grimm and light made animals by "[giving] their essence to their creations."

what then does it mean for humans to "destroy the evil in the world and in themselves"? keep in mind that the humans in the myth do not do anything even notionally wrong: the brothers go to war with each other and "wreak havoc," and terrified humans "prayed to their gods and asked if they were being punished, […] asked for forgiveness, […] begged for mercy." this is mankind’s sole participation in the divine feud, crying out to the gods in anguish why are we being punished? (COUGHS IN JOB.)

in ozma’s account of this story, there is no wrongdoing, no sin to redeem—no justification for humanity to be condemned. instead, the brothers attempt to go their separate ways and find that they can’t, having given too much of themselves to their creations to leave the world, so darkness suggests that they take back their gifts, "reclaim our power and wipe this experiment from existence." no no, says light, we should give them a chance to prove worthy first.

so it is clear—there is no ambiguity about this at all, because there is no wrongdoing—that the "evil within themselves" that humanity must find a way to destroy is darkness itself; the "essence" darkness gave them, the gifts of knowledge and destruction he blessed them with. the evil in the world is the grimm, and the evil within is the part of human nature that came from darkness.

now. ‘the two brothers’ is of course factually inaccurate, and we know (from the answer to "what is ozpin hiding?") that the omission of the whole rebellion isn’t because ozma doesn’t know about it—he does. he knows. rather, the rebellion is something he actively chose to hide.

why?

the mythical narrative deliberately elides the divine justification for condemning mankind to death in favor of emphasizing the pettiness and indifference of the brothers toward their creations—they intend to destroy humans for no other reason than to regain their former power—and also making a direct equivalence between grimm (the evil in the world) and dark’s gifts to humanity (the evil within), both of which mankind must find a way to destroy in order to appease the god of light. the absurdity of this is underscored by darkness’ explicit admiration for human resilience and resourcefulness in the face of adversity; he’s fascinated by their use of his brother’s gifts, choice and creation.

this is, again, not secret. this is a book that ozpin published and made the cornerstone of the huntsmen academies’ curriculum; ‘the two brothers’ as recounted here is a mainstream, widely-known religious story. ozma is the one who established this religion in the first place, and he’s had thousands of years to nudge the doctrine in the direction he wants it to go.

which is I Stand With My Damned Wife. lol

ozma didn’t believe salem when she "blamed the end of the world" on the gods, but once she told him about her rebellion—as she must have, for him to know about it—he agreed with her that she had done no wrong. the story he has been telling about the brothers all this time is one that casts mankind as innocent victims crying out for mercy, for forgiveness, blaming themselves for the cruelty inflicted upon them by uncaring gods. "the desperate humans prayed to their gods and asked if they were being punished."

in his heart of hearts, this is what he believes. that salem is blameless. that she didn’t deserve this. that she’s right.

he could save the world by uniting the whole world against her and calling on the brothers to condemn her, but he can’t—not only because this world just isn’t as dear to him without her but also because to do so would be a grave injustice, and he knows it.

he doesn’t believe that the final judgment can be averted, and he believes a second rebellion is as doomed to failure as her first attempt. the only salvation for remnant lies in destroying salem—who is the evil in the world (grimm) and the evil within (defiance, easily swaying the hearts of men)—but, she cannot be destroyed.

which gives him time.

ozpin doesn’t have a plan for defeating salem. that’s not the same thing as having no plan at all, necessarily, and salem believes he does have a plan.

gestures at "we shall once again live among you and humanity will be made whole" transforming into "we will take their forms and live among them as equals." and the gift of the moon. and "if you look far enough ahead, even a story with a happy ending may reveal itself as a tragedy, and heroes may turn out to be villains… hopefully, the reverse is also true."

(ozma’s character in ‘the girl in the tower’ is called The Hero. ozpin isn’t referring to her, there, but to himself.)

he’s… trying is maybe too strong a word, but ozpin wants to achieve salem’s preferred outcome (humanity replaces the gods) without a rebellion; ‘the shallow sea’ contains deep truths, he writes, and in ‘the judgment of faunus’ he remarks that faunus depict the god of animals as a "wise and noble" figure while humans portray them as an untrustworthy trickster. in the context of the theological disagreement between salem and ozma, ‘the shallow sea’ becomes an allegory for her opinion of the brothers—she rhetorically positions the people of remnant as the faunus, herself as the god of animals, and the brothers as the envious, resentful humans who refused to leave the boat.

in ‘the judgment of faunus’ a god offers to adjudicate between a group of humans and animals who cannot resolve their feud. if they can’t live in peace, they warn both sides, they will "kill one another off, and perhaps destroy the world in the process." when they agree, the god combines them into one being—the faunus.

in ‘the two brothers,’ the gods of light and darkness are portrayed as two halves of a sundered being, the primordial dragon, who—like the humans and animals in ‘judgment’—are "more alike than [they] realize" but "have grown to see only the worst in each other." they create humanity in an effort to resolve their feud, combining their natures into one being, but this fails to stop the conflict between them. their battle "wreaked havoc" and threatened to "tear the world apart." in the end they agree that, should humanity prove worthy, they will shed their divinity and become mortal men; otherwise, they will "let them burn" and part ways from each other forever.

in… other words, in ozma’s myth, it falls to humanity to decide the brothers’ fates: will they be changed into something new and so find peace, or will they be driven apart forever, destroying themselves and their world?

gestures at ‘the judgment of faunus.’ a god happens upon the bloody battlefield and asks why are you fighting?

gestures at ‘the two brothers.’ desperate humans cry out to the gods why are you punishing us?

gestures at ‘the shallow sea,’ which salem used allegorically to equate the brothers to envious, resentful humans who rejected the chance they were given to change and heal, and so returned to their previous unfulfilling lives. with herself implicitly positioned as the god of animals. this one, ozpin suggests, contains deep truths that everyone should take the time to consider.

looks into the camera like i’m on the office.

he includes ‘the shallow sea’ to represent salem’s theological argument against the divine mandate and offers ‘the judgment of faunus’ as a counterpoint, following the pattern of her allegory: the animals and humans represent the gods of light and darkness, and the unnamed god represents humanity (or perhaps just ozma, mirroring salem’s self-identification with the god in ‘the shallow sea’). i can end your conflict if you agree to let me choose who is right, says the god. (and is that not the intent of the mandate, in the end? for humanity to side with the god of light against his brother, for whom salem is only a proxy? to choose which brother is right?) and then the god’s answer is "neither. both. you are the same."

the primordial dragon and the division of the two brothers is made up. it’s not true. but ozpin chose that version of the story and paired it with the ending where the brothers promise to make peace by becoming human, by combining their natures within themselves and thus restoring their true nature as One Whole, light-and-dark and dark-and-light.

which is ozma’s plan.

or at least, it’s what he thinks might be the answer, even if he isn’t quite sure how to make it happen.

the god in ‘judgment’ is either wise and noble or a duplicitous trickster, not to be trusted, depending who you ask, says ozpin. the only way to unite the world to the brothers’ satisfaction is by destroying salem—removing her from it completely. salem can’t be destroyed… but.

but.

the brothers are fallible. she had lied to them, turned them against each other…

they can be deceived. tricked.

ozma is so fucking good at lying. he drove her into exile, erased her from history. what few people there are who know about her are sworn to secrecy and dedicated to keeping her at bay. if the gods had returned one year before the story began, what would they see? an elaborate performance of unprecedented global peace ruled by a powerful, benevolent cult of the light dedicated solely to slaying grimm for the good of all, with salem barred from participation in civilization, completely ostracized and forgotten.

it doesn’t matter if it’s fake. it only needs to last long enough to fool the brothers while ozma convinces them that he can settle their feud once and for all, if only they grant him the power to make it so and promise to abide by his judgment.

if he can trick them into giving up their power and becoming mortal men, then Everything Will Be Okay. it squares the circle, fulfills his god-given task without sacrificing salem to appease them or sacrificing humanity in a futile act of defiance. but it will only work if the deception is absolutely perfect and that brings him right back to square one, he needs there to be no perceptible conflict in the world when the brothers return lest they rule against humanity and he needs salem to be truly gone—not the common enemy everyone in the world stands against, but gone, so thoroughly rejected and forgotten that she has no presence in the world at all.

aaand the only way to accomplish that is by legitimately fulfilling his task, at least superficially. world peace, no salem, the leading power in every kingdom is a virtuous institution inculcating light’s values in noble warriors who protect the peace. it can collapse like the house of cards it truly is as soon as the brothers have taken the bait and shed their divinity but until then, it has to be so real that even oz himself believes it.