#about living in a world where you have been defined as an outcast

[pinksilvace]

well. now I REALLY need to replay pyre

[emblazons]

Thinking about how people who only (or primarily) understand Mike’s arc through a “hes queer and coming to accept it / struggling with heteronormativity/will get his happy ending when he gets with Will” lens are missing at least half of what defines his arc in the wider context / themes of the show.

Forewarning: long post (& also maybe an unpopular opinion)

Even as a queer person myself, I know that his arc isn’t solely about embracing his queerness (though it’s inherently interlinked). In Mike, you have a character who is being radically challenged by both external circumstances and his own decisions through a journey away from all kinds of forced conformity (social, familial, romantic & heteronormative) and into someone self actualized enough to live how they want…while also being strong enough to accept that they made mistakes along the way. Someone who is learning to be brave enough to say “this is who I am, what I enjoy, and what/who I love…and while it took me a lot of time to figure it out, now I can exist in the world embracing that even though it will take consistently resisting the tendency to accommodate people who think it’s unacceptable.”

Like. Even from a time before puberty (see: S3) Mike wants a life that stands apart from what’s expected of him in every area, not just in choosing a romantic relationship with another guy. He wants to continue to be a nerd and “child at heart” even though something else is repeatedly demanded of him by everyone from his parents to El in his romantic relationship. He wants to be a writer and someone who takes those nerdy interests into his adult life (cue aggressive gesturing toward the duffers themselves) and grates against all that’s been constructed for him even when he’s not (yet) brave enough to challenge it directly. Mike liking boys/loving Will is just “the final nail in the coffin” of his social and societal nonconformity—not the first (or the last) aspect of what makes him different from Hawkins or the life he was made to believe would suit him best.

Even the fact that Mike has a desire to be “normal” comes from an insecurity and fear that choosing what he truly wants will lead to him being outcasted and losing the people he cares for entirely—which is partially motivated by his queerness yes, but that also has a basis in his general interests and personality…which becomes especially obvious when you realize we are repeatedly shown that he is punished/has his wishes ignored in all areas he doesn’t conform, even long before we get into a plot where it’s clearer he likes boys.

We see it in how his parents have already started to demand he put boundaries on the time he spends playing his “childhood games” the very first scene of season one, how they demand social acceptable emotions from him when Will is missing, and how Karen & Ted want him to give up toys in S2 when he’s showing signs of depression (because they think the issue is him growing up, not that he’s struggling with loss or guilt for what happened to El).

We see it in how his own father comments about taking his CA trip away from him after calling Hellfire being a group for “dropouts” in S4 (implying that he is failing on an academic and social level that matters to wheelers—and that Nancy is good at).

We even see it in the way everyone from his bullies to his own girlfriend threaten and take things away from him when he doesn’t conform to social expectations...from Troy telling him to jump off the cliff to save Dustin in S1 (as punishment for the one time Mike stands up for himself in the gymnasium) to El jumping straight into breaking up with him and spying on him when he doesn’t do exactly what she wants him to in Season 3.

All of these moments are critical to understanding Mike as a person because they show us that, even without addressing his queerness, Mike’s desire to conform to socialized expectations involves but is not solely about him moving out of heteronormativity—it’s about him moving against everything that WASP, patriarchal, heteronormative and capitalistic and performative “wholesome American” values…and how he is learning to move past the fear of what will happen if he steps outside the lines in general, even though he already knows he hates those standards.

Mike’s “coming of age” arc is about finding the strength to choose the “path less traveled” in all areas of his life—even when it means (potentially) losing the support of the people he cares about. It’s about starting from a place of privilege and becoming okay with being outcasted from it in a way your insecurities never let you be before (which is inherently different than Will, who has always been shown to have some kind of support not just for his queerness but his artistic endeavors as well). Mike’s lack of support is why he starts from a place of deep insecurity, yes—but it’s also why him learning power of choosing to be himself, even if it means “losing” people when he’s honest about who (& what) he is will be universally powerful.

You don’t need to be queer to understand the power of what it means to know you will be okay even if people leave you. You don’t need to be queer to understand the power of stepping outside social expectations or your family’s way of raising you. You don’t even need to be queer to understand the weight of breaking up with someone you were only with to satisfy what you thought you should do, rather than be with who you want to.

The power of being strong enough to overcome your insecurities in order to “step out of line” and live and love as you want to is universal, and a stunningly brave choice no matter what or why you chose to do so. The fact that Will will be there waiting to love him in that honesty with himself is beautiful, yes—but it’s not the only lesson to be learned for Mike’s character.

Mike starting out with everything the world (or, at least America) tells would make you happy, realizing he is not happy with those things and rejecting them knowing it might have consequences is what makes his arc powerful, because he is learning (exactly like his sister Nancy) to be brave enough to accept those consequences (which for him are getting dumped, and feeling like he’s being left behind by some of his friends) to follow his own heart.

Even though The Duffers aren’t writing this into a tragic ending (aka: he’s not going to die or be left alone, because the duffers writing is inherently designed ro champion the outcast), these are the things that have (and will) make him relatable even to an audience that doesn’t know queerness. Erasing the fact that his lesson is the bravery it takes to follow your heart solely to talk about him liking guys (even Will) is to undermine his humanity, and the lessons to be learned from him by even the most general an audience.

TL:DR - the heteronormative aspect of Mike’s character is not the sole or even inherent issue within Mike, though heteronormativity is inherently built into his struggle.

There are deep dives on how his arc is also about a war against toxic patriarchy, toxic masculinity, emphasis on capitalistic and academic accomplishments over artistic ones, and even conformist relationships (whether they’re queer or not) that should be explored for his character—and I for one like him too much not to move out of just “this boy is queer because xyz” and into “let’s talk about Mike in terms of the wider scope of his cultural context and upbringing.” 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

[thegirlking]

Lacie and Lottie's contrasting characters

This might sound like quite a reach, because they never even met in canon, but I feel like there's such an interesting contrast between certain aspects of Lottie and Lacie's characters. They are two Baskerville women, whose very different status in the family shapes them into almost complete opposites in terms of self-expression, beliefs, experiences and relationships.

It's just interesting to think about some of the themes reflected in their characters and what they reveal about the Baskerville family. Some messy, self-indulgent analysis ahead.

Different personas and the subversion of archetypes

It's obvious even from their character designs that Lottie and Lacie present themselves very differently - and their personas seem dangerously close to some...problematic archetypes.

They could have easily been a shallow embodiment of harmful tropes - Lacie The Manic Pixie Dream Girl vs Lottie The Femme Fatale - but that's thankfully not the case. Even with somewhat limited screen time, both are given enough depth to be complex women who defy those archetypes.

What's more, I think it's safe to say that their outward personas are also kind of an "armor" - something that helped them protect themselves and deal with their respective circumstances.

Lottie comes across as this vicious Femme Fatale with cynical views of the world and its necessity for cruelty. It makes sense that she presents herself this way. After helping carry out the Sablier massacre, having to live with the blood on her hands, having to survive in a present where her family has been brought to ruin and missing a leader...she'd definitely need to become (or at least adopt the persona of) someone a little tougher, sharper and even a little more cruel.

But she's ultimately not just some dangerous Femme Fatale and a cynic who only sees the ugly in the world - deep down, she's much more warm and caring than she seems. And by the end of the manga, it's clear that she does have love for the world too, proven by her promise to Glen.

Lacie, on the other hand, appears to be this wild and free-spirited girl, who loves the world despite its cruelty. Lacie is someone who has been branded a cursed existence and is fated to die for it - she's also someone who refuses to be defined by victimhood. She needs to be this dreamy and free-spirited girl, needs to look for meaning in her tragic life and find beauty in the cruel world around her - otherwise she'd be swallowed by despair and loneliness.

She's also much more complicated than a Dream Girl archetype and despite her love for the world, she's not really some idealist either. She bottles up her painful feelings until almost the very end, but when we do get a glimpse into them, it becomes clear that she's a lot more human and vulnerable than she seems.

The two sides of the same family

The most obvious connection between Lacie and Lottie is the fact they are both part of the Baskerville family...only their experience and understanding of "family" couldn't be more different.

For Lottie being a Baskerville is what allows her to find and create a loving family for herself, to form meaningful bonds with other people like her - the former outcasts, lost children wronged by the world, who have now found a new beginning and a place to belong. It's certainly not a perfect family, but you can tell the love, respect and loyalty between Lottie and her little group is genuine.

But for Lacie, due to her position as a Child of Misfortune, being a Baskerville could never become a salvation from being a mistreated child - it only elevates her mistreatment to a different level.

In reality, being a Baskerville is what shatters her ability to have a normal family and leaves her with a twisted version of it: a cruel father figure who willingly corrupts their relationship in a despicable way (I'll go back to this later) and a loving brother who is bound by his "duty" to become his little sister's executioner. There is no doubt Oswald loved Lacie more than anything in the world, but it's clear that her impending death at his hands weighed heavily between them and denied them the happy sibling relationship they deserved.

Loyalty, rebelliousness and who is truly free

Lacie and Lottie's personal sense of freedom and ability to think for themselves is a major theme for both characters and is (seemingly) established from their first appearance.

Again, Lacie is quite clearly characterized as someone rebellious and free-spirited. She has her unique beliefs, displaying that she is capable of thinking for herself. She doesn't simply accept things - she questions everything. Not only is this the impression you get from her, but she's directly described like this by Jack.

Meanwhile, Lottie is positioned as being extremely devoted to her Master Glen. It's not that she's portrayed as "submissive", as much as she can easily come across as something of a brainwashed cultist. She helped carry out a massacre on her Master's orders without even understanding the reason why - and when confronted about it, her response is simply that the Baskervilles are "built" to obey Glen, that's just how it is.

This sounds like a far cry from Lacie who questions everything.

But the reality is a little more complicated.

The key thing here is how Lacie and Lottie's different circumstances and status shape their personal freedom. They both exist within a system that reinforces Glen's absolute power, but Lottie is Glen's valued subordinate, while Lacie is Glen's glorified prisoner sentenced to death.

Lottie's freedom isn't being limited in a traumatizing way like Lacie's freedom has been. Like I said, Lottie found home and purpose with the Baskervilles, she wasn't being mistreated in that family, so of course she's fiercely loyal to it. Unlike Lacie, whose little acts of rebellion serve as a coping mechanism for her bleak circumstances, Lottie has little to no reason to rebel against her Master and family.

And yet, even in her first appearance (despite pretending that she doesn't mind committing any kind of violence for her Master) Lottie is clearly looking to understand the events of 100 years ago - and that already shows that she's capable of questioning things. What's more, despite the claim that the Baskervilles obey Glen by nature and can't defy him, despite Lottie's own established loyalty to Glen, she does have the agency and the ability to defy her Master.

It takes her some time to overcome her Baskerville beliefs and make the decision, but once she realizes she can't support Glen's current path, she ultimately follows her own morals and does the right thing.

And as for Lacie...for all her free spirit and rebelliousness, she has been physically and emotionally trapped by her fate, conditioned to accept it and that makes it very difficult for her to actually rebel against it. She doesn't want to die and is terrified by that fate, but she bottles it up - and it's debatable if she ever genuinely considered the possibility of running away. She seems to find the idea of running away with Jack almost laughable.

Maybe at that point it's understandable, considering her pregnancy which...made her fate even more inescapable in a way. But even outside of that, I don't think she could even begin to imagine a future where she's allowed to live her life.

Which is not to say Lacie's personal beliefs are somehow fake and should be dismissed, let alone looking down on her for not saving herself - she was a victim of a violent cycle and her personality only highlights that violent cycles are incredibly difficult to escape, regardless of how strong and free-spirited someone is.

Power dynamics, unhealthy relationships and Glen

This kind of echoes the previous point, but let's also take a look at it through the lens of Lacie and Lottie's relationships with (their respective) Glen.

Lottie's loyalty to Glen isn't something unique - it's a part of the Baskerville identity - however, she’s arguably the Baskerville whose loyalty is the most heavily emphasized during the story.

What’s more, she's implied to have some romantic feelings for her Master, which adds a unique layer. On paper, the combination of her absolute loyalty and her feelings for him sounds like it could develop into something pretty toxic. It raises several red flags - being infatuated with a man who has power over her, believing said power is absolute and cannot be questioned, remaining devoted to him even after he orders her to kill innocent people.

Meanwhile, Lacie's relationship with her own Glen is established as something very different. Lacie doesn't seem to hold much respect for his position, being comfortable addressing him informally and talking back to him in a teasing manner - and this almost creates the illusion of some kind of equality and "normalness" between them, despite their power imbalance. (To be fair, it wouldn't be completely unfathomable considering they are supposed to be family.)

But it's no surprise Lacie isn't worshiping at Glen's feet. It fits with Lacie's notorious free spirit and beliefs, already shown during her encounter with Jack as a teenager.

And what's really interesting, we see that her unique philosophy about questioning everything is the opposite of what she was told by Glen when she was a child.

At the very least she wasn't brainwashed by him - in fact, she seems pretty disconnected by the whole notion of Glen's absolute power and the need for absolute obedience, something Lottie claims is a core part of a Baskerville's identity.

The juxtaposition is so interesting, because those dynamics are rather deceptive - while Lacie's relationship with Glen/Levi is revealed to be a lot more sinister than it seems, Lottie's relationship with Glen/Oswald ends up a lot less toxic than expected.

Lacie's relationship with Levi ultimately adds another layer to her tragic fate. No, he didn't manage to brainwash her or break her spirit, but he most definitely groomed, manipulated and conditioned her to think of her death as something inevitable - and this grooming and conditioning also make it very questionable if she could actually defy him, despite her sharp and seemingly unafraid attitude.

Sadly, I think Lacie really internalized the idea that her death is inescapable, hence why she never considered actually running away. Instead, she clung to the "silver lining" of saving the Core from loneliness and while this might have brought some comfort to her, it doesn't change the horrific nature of the way Levi manipulated and exploited her. The rhetoric that she's going to die anyway, so it's fine for her body to be exploited is just so inherently dehumanizing. And it's very important to note here...the fact she probably didn't see herself as a victim in this situation and didn't behave as a "perfect victim" doesn't make it any less horrible and doesn't make her complicit in her own abuse. None of it is her fault.

On the other hand, Lottie's relationship with Oswald not only doesn't really turn into something toxic, but becomes a vehicle for her positive growth. Lottie proves that she isn't actually a cultist, a puppet, a foolish follower - or at least can choose not to be any of these things and be an individual with her own morals.

There's a lot to say about the cult-like nature of the Baskerville family and how everyone was a victim of it - that's why Lacie seems like such a unique person, but in the end, her beliefs couldn't really protect her from being victimized as a part of the cycle and on personal level. Lottie might have not held Lacie's unique beliefs, but she's able to unlearn harmful Baskerville ideas about absolute obedience and she's able to defy Glen - it helps that she was not subjected to grooming, raised as a human sacrifice or abused by Glen in some way.

I think this is a good place to note - because I know it can come across this way - that my goal here isn't to pit two female characters against each other, let alone demean either of them. The point also isn't to portray Lacie as nothing but a victim, while praising Lottie's character at her expense.

Of course, Lacie isn't "just" a victim. She remained her own person and did her best to create some power for herself within bleak circumstances. She had a lot of impact on those close to her and the world around her - and that's beautiful and important, but it doesn't make her life (and death) any less tragic.

The comparison to Lottie is very intriguing to me, because Lottie is the clearest example of a Baskerville woman who is a regular member of the family. It's not that Lottie's life is a fairy tale, but my focus is that Lottie was not treated like an anomaly, a cursed existence or a prisoner in the family. And when you look at a woman who actually found a home and purpose with the Baskervilles, who wasn't abused and oppressed in a dehumanizing manner, who had a proper support system and was treated with respect, who had actual freedom - it really highlights how much was being denied to Lacie and the horror of her fate becomes even more impactful.

[crow-raven-crow]

Wing Anatomy for Monster

Since I've made the reader an Avian outcast (people with the characteristics and/or ability to turn into birds, common name from folklore) I wanted to share where I'm getting my anatomy references from

series page is linked in the title

I found this photo on a quick google search and dug into the article

The art is by Daniel Puente and I put the article link on their name.

The readers wings run very large - being able to enclose herself and/or multiple others in their hold if she so pleases, something she does to Larissa often as she's fallen for the comfort her lovers wings provide. They're larger than her arm span, and, when exposed in a resting position, can be seen over her shoulders when facing her front.

This piece (sherlock fandom hi hello i see you i miss it too. this is a sherlock fanart) from Moriartea-Cup is how I like to imagine the readers shoulder blades as well

Where the wings meet skin is a touch that I love to think about - I think that when the reader has her wings out, that there are sections by her shoulder blades that contain scattered feathers around the base, the closer they are to the blades the more feathers that appear until they erupt into wings.

When the reader has her wings concealed, I like to think that where the base of her wings are is still covered in her black, shiny like metal feathers - always giving out who she is regardless of if they're concealed, like two stripes of void along her back.

Since the wings are dark, I imagine the bird form being a Crow or a Raven (look at my username like hello LMAO). The wings are strong, a force thats enough to knock down hundred year old trees with a swipe and that can send a rush of wind with enough force to knock most enemies down. They taper down, like the image above, the closer they get to the end. Most of her feathers towards the end are longer, but along the marginal and primary coverts they run small. It's a small detail, but I think she likes to keep some of her fallen feathers, putting them in scrapbooks for frames. Sometimes she catches Larissa with some smaller ones in her updo, dark feathers pinned along strips of silver - she loves to catch it, her heart full that she displays their relationship to all. Larissa definately has a necklace of a feather that fell off during their first date, one she had duplicated in the same white as her hair to give the reader a matching one to represent her.

Her nails can turn into sharp talons whenever she pleases, but the harder material along her fingertips are always black as well, unless painted over by a lively student who loves pinks and blues (i love Enid). They can cut through almost anything.

Since she's traveled around the world, it's hard not to imagine her wings are untouched. Scars, small and big, litter the place where her skin and the feathers meet. The ones on her wings show with no color, the feathers still growing but in white instead of the signature black.

Her true form hasn't been revealed in the story, but can be both big and small - it just depends on the situation at hand. I add that it wasn't revealed in the story to have Larissa pick up heavily on her other characteristics. The description of the monster in the story running large with sharp claws, something fast and almost barely seen.

Thanks for reading this if you took the time to. Character building is so fun for me and I love digging into aspects of each one, even if they're small. I hoped this helped with any visuals that I described in the first chapter - there may be more to come. Heres the link to the series page if you're interested in reading it :)

Thanks for indulging me

~ 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐯𝐲𝐧

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

[swordmaid]

obsessed with shri’iia... can we hear ab her relationship with minthara (if you're so inclined) 🖤

yes!!!!! we can def hear abt drow knight yuri!!!!! I’ll put it under the cut bc it got sooooo long but tldr to me they’re like princess in the pauper but like, deranged 🫶

ok so the most fundamental thing about them is that minthara is born as a baenre noble while shri’iia is not — as in she literally doesn’t belong to any house because her own mother chose to leave her own house via self sabotage (which is a whole other thing) and that difference is a defining thing about their relationship and character since social class is so important in menzoberranzan and power is what they’re expected to pursue - something minthara is born with and something shri’iia never had.

so bc she wasn’t born with power and she was born in the braeryn (where the outcast and the non-drow lived) shri’iia was desperate! to rise above her station bc as a drow it was a disgrace! she was living in such means - or so the lolth propaganda taught her. like if drows were meant to rule why was she born amongst the non-drows who were most likely slaves at best? and why doesn’t she belong to any house? already she has that insecurity and frustration that she isn’t living up to what is expected of her so shri’iia jumps on any means possible to rise above her station - and by any means I mean any means. she does not care what she does or what happens to her, all that matters is that in the end she joins a house that has power bc that’s what’s she believes has been robbed of her, and she believed lolth’s teachings wholeheartedly (that’s the seed of her knightly devotion and also if you don’t believe in lolth you literally will get killed so it’s part actual belief also part survival tactic). her one saving grace is that she got recognised by lolth and gave her those trials to do in her dreams and she succeeded it.

after she succeeded said trials she became an oath of the crown paladin for lolth and that’s when she gets recognised and invited by one of the noble matriarchs to join their house! yippee! but not really yippee since that matriarch was like ok babes you can join us only if you swear fealty to ME (and lolth) and you will do everything for ME (and lolth) bc lolth paladins are pretty rare and I want to use you for my means (lolth’s means) bc no one knows you here in high society and you’re gonna be my attack dog at best, person I keep in the attic at worst so what do u say. shri’iia’s like: I absolutely see NOTHING wrong with that 🥳🎉 it all worked out in the end! I get to join a house! and have power! praise lolth! huzzah 🎉🫶 except that once she joined she doesn’t even have any power herself bc she’s kept away in a tower unless her matriarch wanted her to hunt down someone for her. she does not have any freedom anymore, not autonomy over herself bc it belongs to her matriarch now and didn’t she agree to those terms? she got outplayed so HARD but shri’iia does not see it like that. when you’re used to being in the dirt you will not be complaining abt being left in the slightly nicer mud!

but minthara didn’t have to do any of that. she already had everything shri’iia is so desperate to have, or to even taste. she does not have the same desperation and insecurity as she already knows her place in their world, and all she will have to do is to defend and keep it. they’re in the two ends of their social hierarchy, and that’s such a defining thing about their dynamic bc of how social class is sooo important in their society even though they’re now both away from it in terms of game events.

ok so that’s the shri’iia context ^ 😮‍💨 now we can talk about the ACTUAL drow knight yuri

so the thing is, the reason why shri’iia was sent up the surface in the first place is to investigate the drows that went missing since among them was a baenre daughter and her entourage. her assignment was to get that info and kill them if they’re traitors or if they’ve decided to flee to the surface (bc that’s like anti lolth behaviour ew) but she gets kidnapped by the nautiloid before she ever reach the surface, and when she crash landed on the beach she’s disoriented, scared, and that’s the first time she’s ever seen the sun ever. shri’iia spends the whole of early act 1 paranoid and scared she builds up this whole elaborate lie of how she’s always been born in the surface, and she’s a travelling paladin who goes from places to places helping out and doing good deed (cough) essentially denying her whole drow identity and faith to lolth which leads to her oath breaking and losing lolth’s favour. that in itself leads to a whole existential crisis for her (which is a WHOLE other thing but I won’t add it here bc I haven’t event talked about minthara yet sobs) so when the time comes to kill minthara, shri’iia’s original plan was to humiliate her first in-front of everyone by killing her army then her last bc executions need to be public! but when the time comes and she actually needs to kill her she hesitates (bc of said existential crisis and lost of faith/lost of oath) that she knocks her out instead.

minthara being the reason for shri’iia’s oath breaking though which leads her to this big journey of self transformation / realisation / reclaiming her autonomy olivia wilde nod.gif

so when she actually recruits minty in act 2 shri’iia is undergoing that metamorphosis ^ and she’s a more realised version of her self, but still developing. compared to minthara shri’iia still has room for the insecurity and self doubt, and what’s interesting to me is how the roles flips over and shri’iia - the lowborn girl from the braeryn - is now the one that minthara has to follow and when it’s usually the other way around. she’s now the person in power - something that she’s been craving since she was born - but she does not wear it well, not when she’s still having her own insecurities. so minthara guides her in some way.

and the thing is they’re both drow exile atp and in game shri’iia was also a vengeance paladin bc crown oath is not available lol but to me I can see shri’iia assimilating herself better to the surface culture than minthara. shri’iia is more open to change (and she is changing) compared to minthara who is so certain about herself that she knows what she deserves and does not. the nature of their oaths (which is their driving force and what defines their characters for me as they’re both paladins) are different too where minthara is more focused on getting revenge as a vengeance paladin, whereas shri’iia is more focused on pursuing freedom and having free will with her new oathbreaker role. like that contrast is soo interesting to me bc in the surface they’re similar but they’re not, they’re so different in the parts that matters. and with minthara guiding shri’iia on how to lead, I think she will help her how to be more comfortable living in the surface and I think in general, even with their differences, they both find comfort in knowing that the other is there and they’re not completely alone in the surface. like I like the idea that they’re always speaking in drowic with each other especially I hc shri’iia does not speak the common tongue well (like she knows the basic and well enough for simple convos) so it’s a relief for her to have someone she can fully communicate to.

this is saur long augh 😭 sorry I love to yap but their dynamic is so interesting to me… feels like they’re two sides of the same coin…. and honestly if minty was an earlier companion I would’ve romanced her with shri’iia but sadly she comes in act 2 and that’s the halfway point of shri’iia’s character development that it wouldn’t make sense to me if she suddenly pursues her 😮‍💨. also she’d be trading in one morally questionable white haired red eyed elf for the other morally questionable white haired red eyed elf which is kind of funny lmfao

[myvoide]

Eliazer [Part two? 🤨]

Yes! Eliazer has an AU counter part! Hes used for another one of my friends D&D camp and while they're the same person, their backstories and apperinces are different, This Eliazer is tweaked for my friends world since their logic works a bit different [looking at you @warriorblood1] Here he is anyway! [long post ahead much lore yes yes]

base by: rainbow-v-e-i-n-s on deviantart

For the sake of the post, and the fact i already have shown off OG Eliazer, this Eliazers nickname is Eli! [and if you havent seen the post, OG Eliazers nickname is just E lol]

I'll go ahead and list off their differences first becuase its easier and then get into detail about Elis spesific traits

Eli starts traveling a year or two before E does [yes i dont know their exact age sue me]

Eli had to actually die to "activate" his aasimar traits, so he died in the spell-explostion that E was merely burnt by!

Because Eli didn't know he was an aasimar/didnt get his traits until later in life, theyre still developing! hence the natural ginger hair turning white, the yellow eyes, and the smaller wings [this also means he cant control his wings super well and they react with his emotions and subconcious a lot more then E's do, so if he gets spooked his wings shoot out hehe]

Elis home town in now in the middle of Fuck All No Where: Woods edition

Instead of having A toxic goddess, he actually follows a goddess of the people, she loves and considers all her children! but he is in a loyalist town to a toxic empress who is dead... maybe.... ill talk more about this later

Eli's patner is a fire genasi! [rip krevin] and Eli just doesnt know whats happened to him! i dont even know whats happened to him! he could be dead! sadly i dont intend on showing the fire genasi off, even though he has a super cool character design, because when i first made his design it was with this chibi base and while the base works for average people with minimal character traits to their physique [and to quickly get character design out of the way] it doesnt for someone whos supposed to be pretttttttty buff,,, so im gonna try to find better bases so i can learn from them like i do now!

Wow! thats all i can really think of? there are other small things like Eli isnt as flirty or sexually active as E or that Eli snuck out of his home town without telling anyone thats all pretty low on the level of importance

the biggest thing to say is that Elis hammer is a courting gift from his lost lover since hes a weapon smith and that his cloak is stolen from his mother when he snuck out at night

Anywho! the summary of his story issss,,, Eli spent a lot of his time in the woods surrounding his village becuase he was an outcast, he may not have been an aasimar at the time but he showed excelent signs of being a good healer so two of the priestesses started teaching him the way of his goddess and some healing spells and other religous things. this pulled him out of school from a young age so he never learned to read or write. he also blindly followed everything that was told to him, making everyone else in the town think he was incredibly nieave and gullable and kinda outcasting him more.

When Elis lost lover came to town he was completely foreign and not very welcomed, no one wanted to hang around a fire genasi in the middle of the woods. But Eli, having learned to treat everyone equally and with kindess from his goddess, encouraged the towns people to just let him stay a few nights.

and then a few nights turned into a year or so, Eli and his love definently had some kinda of relationship but it was never difined, they just lived day to day and while his love tried to make hints for Eli, Eli didn't really catch on. But near the end of Elis beginning his love kind of opened his eyes? made him question his loyalty to a empress hes never seen. hell his love mentioned a war but Eli has never ever heard of this war.

this is great of course because then the rebles attack his village to try and make sure the loyalists dont try and,,,,,,, kill more people lmfao ANYWAY Eli ends up questioning his whole life after waking up as an aasimar and in a state of panic and paranoia he flees to just literally anywhere and now hes with his life long destiny friends so thats great

the next session will be this saturday im so excited bc sometimes its voiced and i get to do a silly russian accent, this session will be over text but like! now i dont have to focus on maintaining the accent so yippe!

[travelerwanted]

Because I was asked to do this...

I'm going to preface this right now that I am no politician, nor am I any expert. Hell, I didn't even start college. A friend in the UK asked me to write this and gave me the questions so that I am going to attempt to the best of my knowledge answer. Again this is all @eastoniablog's fault though hey if it opens a conversation I'm all for it as long as said conversation stays respectful.

Now let's see what I have to work with.... Again I am no expert, just a normal over stressed, over worked, GenXer trying to make sense of things. Politics is WAY out of my field of expertise.

What's going on? (Had to have her clarify that this was about politics because oh man... loaded question alone here)

Oh where to start with this one... I guess I'll start with the fact that we are one fucked up country. I mean we have two main political parties, there are others, but sadly they don't get much say in anything because how our political system is set up, those with more funding usually get put on the ballot and those who can't get the funding, are usually ignored because "no one cares".

Not everyone really fits into either party and not everyone who is of legal voting age votes. but back to the question. Two parties, the Democrats and Republicans. Guess the easy way to define them would be the Democrats are the party that isn't controlled by the church.

(And I'm going to state here I'm not against Christians, I know several awesome ones, but I am against how at least with American Churches, it's convert or die (Or you go to hell, though I would rather spend an eternity there than in Heaven if it's all filled with the kind of ilk that forgets that their savior preached "Love Thy Neighbor" and traveled the known world with mostly a group of men, whores, and other outcasts). I'm Pagan, I've dabbled in church a few times, and ya know what, not a single one that I have been a member of practice what the book teaches. I may be a bit more biased because on top of being Pagan I'm an opinionated Ace woman who has known friends and family who are also Alphabet Mafia unalive themselves because of the propaganda American churches shove down our throats on a daily basis. Now with that said.. )

The other party are the Republicans, which Donald Trump is a member and has royally fucked over, because of him they proudly are showing their racism, and hatred of women (I mean really with that election and the last one ANY male that voted for him that has a daughter should be investigated in my opinion, because anyone who idolizes a man that idolizes Hitler and wants to sleep with his own daughter... Needs to have their head fucking checked!) , as well as the fact that they think people are stupid. Those who don't follow that sack of garbage, are so far into the Sunday Book Club Cult that they believe anything that a homophobe preacher tells them to believe without ya know actually reading the book themselves. This is the party that is trying to make abortion illegal because "Life begins at conception" while pretty sure the book claims that live begins when the infant takes their first breath, but again what do I know? (I've read the Bible a few times, not an expert on it, but it's not that hard to read it for yourself) This is also the party that the leader of Texas's government belongs to, and he loves life so much that when the power grid failed in his state in a winter storm, he went on vacation (In the middle of Covid lockdown mind you) and let people die from the cold.

why is this happening?

I think I covered the basics... I may have missed some points. But really everything going on now is basically because the Republicans are butt hurt that their 'god' Trump (really you listen to some of them talk and praise the ass... and some of them being women like WTF, he's stated on air that he would sleep with his daughter, and oh gods I'm not even going to go with where he wants to grab those of us who were born women.

Though to be honest, the problem didn't start with him, it probably started back in the 80's with Regan, and well the GOP (Grand old Party aka Republicans) Just kept at it once they had a taste of power. After all they're the ones that started the trickle down economics that the US is stuck with since Regan, and yeah... it doesn't work. But they refuse to give up power. And now the Republicans know if they lose control they're party is doomed (it kinda is already because of the shitstorm Trump is and was)

3) why is the cycle of voting even just continuing

They keep running the vote because the Republicans don't want to give up control, so they keep going for a recount until either the democrats give in or they get what they want.

4) I've seen comparisons to Evergiven please explain

I actually had to give this one a quick glance and I think it's because America happens to be a bigger player on the world stage, and everyone's at a standstill until we figure out what way our government is going to act.

The Ever Given was a container ship that basically froze up world trade while it was stuck in the Suez Canal for over a month. Again I'm not sure if this is why but it's the only reason I can think of. Again I am not big on the political stuff, or even really current events. The news here in the US just keeps pissing me off with all the babies getting killed by bullets because a collection of cells have more rights than a grade schooler in a school, where they're supposed to be safe. Hell the man who terrorizes those kids with a gun have more rights than those kids and their mothers right now.

5) why are all you guys glue to your seats with popcorn and laughing?

The laughter isn't joyous. It's strained laughter, the kind that you do when you have pretty much lost all hope because let's face it you know you're screwed and it's laugh or cry.

And the popcorn... It's cheap. WE spend BILLIONS on the military and they can't track all that money, and using only a fraction of that money would end homelessness and hunger in this country. Hell we have the biggest military, are the only country that happens to have bases in other countries, and we can't take care of our own citizens, which for many parts of the country, the military prey on, making it seem like that's the only way that they'll ever make a survivable income. And then the US Government treats them like shit when they are medically discharged because of trauma and injuries that were caused by doing their job in the service of their country. We have homeless Vets, Young and old, with mental trauma that they can't afford to care for, or is the cause of the crippling debt that put them on the streets...

6) what's this about beating a record?

Not so sure about this one. Again I don't pay too much attention to what's going on. I know I should but for my mental health I feel it's safer to just get little glimpses now and then, and try to keep my head down because I happen to be living in a town that is very anti me.

And lucky number 7: why is this vote so important anyway?

This one, well, the vote on who the speaker of the house is going to be will tell us how well the Senate is going to be working with the President. If the Republicans control it, they're going to make sure nothing gets done out of spite just because Biden happens to be a Democrat. And they love making it look like the president is an incompetent fool (while their own Presidents in the past have had the inability to actually speak clearly, Bush couldn't string a sentence together to sound like he was smart to save his life... and Trump is the village idiot's toenail).

I hope that answers some questions, now I'm going to go back to things that I know more about.

[harmony-of-political-science]

"I Am Her": Shea Diamond's Anthem for Intersectional Resistance

The lyrics of the song "I Am Her" by Shea Diamond powerfully connect to the key arguments made by Kai M. Green and Marquis Bey in their article "Where Black Feminist Thought and Trans* Feminism Meet: A Conversation."

Challenging Dominant Identity Categories

At the heart of this connection is the song's central theme of the singer's identity as an "outcast" and a "shadow" in society - someone who is marginalized, misunderstood, and forced to exist on the fringes. This directly relates to the article's discussion of how Black feminism and trans feminism challenge the limitations of dominant identity categories like "woman" that have historically excluded and erased the experiences of Black, transgender, and other marginalized individuals.

The lyrics "There's an outcast in everybody's life and I am her / There's a shadow in everybody's front door and I am her" echo the article's argument that Black feminism has highlighted how the category of "woman" has been narrowly defined in a way that fails to account for the experiences of Black cisgender women, who have been marginalized and rendered as "excess" to this limiting conception of womanhood (Green and Bey 439). The singer's self-identification as "her" - the outcast, the shadow - suggests a refusal to be confined by restrictive notions of gender and identity.

Capturing Lived Experiences of Marginalization

Additionally, the lyrics' references to "issues and problems", "not being able to sleep at night", and feeling like "a sin" in "a hell of a world" capture the lived experiences of marginalization, discrimination, and oppression that the article argues are central to the intersections of Black feminism and trans feminism. These lyrical details powerfully convey the challenges and struggles faced by those existing at the margins of society.

Resilience and Self-Affirmation

However, the singer's resilience and pride in proclaiming "I am her" despite these challenges also resonates with the article's call to make visible those marginalized narratives and lived realities that are typically obscured or excluded, even as efforts are made to be more inclusive. The lyrics powerfully convey the singer's resolute self-affirmation in the face of marginalization and oppression.

Despite expressing the difficulties of being an "outcast" and a "shadow" in society, the singer defiantly proclaims "Oh you know I am her," demonstrating a resolute pride and ownership of their identity. This directly connects to the article's argument about the need to move beyond merely demanding inclusion or representation within existing, limited frameworks, and instead push towards a more expansive and inclusive vision of liberation that fundamentally reconstitutes the very terms and terrain of feminist politics (Green and Bey 440, 444).

[welcome-to-the-nunyverse]

Symphonies & Stories on Saturdays!

Where I take songs I heavily relate to GAC and discuss it.

This week’s song: Machine Learning by J. Maya!

A song about feeling programmed wrong, somehow. Growing up not particularly fitting in. And, as a result, having to try really hard to actually conform to what people around you want.

And this relates a lot to the backstory of Charlotte Clarke.

[ID Start

Image 1: Cropped digital drawing of my character, Charlotte - a 13-year-old with black skin, brown eyes, brown curly hair braided into cornrows leading up to puffs with different colored ends (red tips on viewer's left and blue tips on viewer's right), and thin body. she wears a magenta hoodie with a white outline of a butterfly. She grins and talks to someone off-screen.

Image 2: Digital drawing. In the forefront, Charlotte rests on a tree, back turned to the audience. She wears a light green sweater with light jeans & light green boots. She stares off at a school campus past a green field. In dark yellow lettering is the words "Maybe I'm just not friend material..."

ID End]

Like the Espositos, Charlotte has a gift and a curse. Unlike the Espositos, Charlotte actually interacted with society growing up. She mingled with normal people, and she did not fit in with them. From her curse to her unnaturally colored ends to her own personality quirks—she was an outcast. And she does not know how to “fix” herself to fit in better.

She grew up bullied and ostracized because of it, a social pariah.

And this relates a lot to this song! With lyrics such as the intro:

Don’t stare at them for too long

Laugh some, but not too much

And sing the words to that song

But only the chorus

If someone says they want you

Don't flinch, just let them touch

It doesn't really matter what you want

And bridges such as:

Make social calculations

Know when you're supposed to cry

Fake real communication

Rehearse your scripted lines

Is living a performance?

Depends how it's defined

Forget that all your friends don't have to try

And:

Be just what they expected

Don't come as a surprise

They might take you for granted

That's just a part of life

If you stick with the program

Maybe one day you'll be

More than a machine learning how to please

They’re lyrics that showcase programming to adhere to what people want, to fit in with the majority. Charlotte, her whole life, tries to adhere to the norm around her, because she hates this bubble of loneliness she has around herself. The problem is, however, that all these rules are hard for her. It’s less like she’s actually interacting with the world, but following a script in a play that everyone else seems to already know the lines for, while she just got them.

And then there’s the general chorus:

I know you wanna be yourself

Like everyone else

But you've always needed help

Memorize the manual

You're hopeless on your own

If you make it look natural

Then nobody will know

The story of the robot

Who knows they'll never be

More than a machine learning how to please

This just reiterates the point of her attempting to fit in. Throughout her elementary and middle school career, she has been inflicted with harsh treatment by her peers and teachers. She’s always punished by teachers for things outside of her control, bullied by her peers for those same things, and finally in 7th grade absolutely humiliated for it.

She tries so hard to prove her humanity to people that already put a label on her of what she is. She wants so badly to have a human connection with someone.

And that’s when the closing for the song comes in, where it’s a softer & slightly different version of the chorus beforehand:

Just memorize the manual

You're hopeless on your own

If you make it look natural

Then nobody will know

The story of the robot

Who had a secret dream

To be more than a machine, more than a machine

To this, I imagine it’s that beginning part of book 1 of Gifted and Cursed, the meeting scene of Wolfgang and Charlotte from Charlotte’s POV. Where she sees a chance of human connection with the new boy at school, someone who has no pre-existing opinion of her. It’s a new opportunity of what she’s always wanted: where she can prove her humanity to at least one person.

And that’s it for this analysis! See ya next Saturday :3

[firstcurse]

The clocks symbolism.

Written  in  response  to  an  anon  1000  years  ago  but  here  I  am  finally  pulling  out  the  clock  post.  

Like  I  mentioned,  I'm  also  going  to  be  adding  another  post  to  this  one  that  I've  made  more  recently  so  yeah,  I  told  you  I  had  plenty  of  nonsense  left  to  repost. So  my  interpretation  of  the  clocks  and  their  symbolic  value  is  BASCIALLY  that  Henry  is  very  much  not  a  fan  of  social  constructs.  Keeping  in  mind  that  Henry’s  time  of  living  was  the  50s-80s.  If  you  think  the  world  is  an  oppressive  shit  hole  now,  boy  do  I  have  news  for  you;  it  was  a  thousand  times  worse  in  Henry’s  time.  It  is  largely  due  to  social  constructs  that  Henry  suffered  as  he  did,  as  someone  who  was  an  outcast  to  social  norms  and  was  unable  to  completely  conform  to  societies  ridged  view  of  right  and  normal,  because  ists  and  phobes  are  still  a  thing  now  and  they  were  a  lot  worse  back  then.  

This  was  a  time  when  you  could  get  hate  crimed  for  wearing  the  wrong  clothes,  being  an  actual  minority  was  a  nightmare. Ultimately,  and  on  the  surface,  “Time”  represents  humanities  greatest  social  construct  of  all  and  clocks  symbolize  time.  Henry  /  Vecna  as  a  character  is  out  to  dismantle  and  destroy  the  status  quo  due  to  his  lived  suffering  and  oppression.  This  is  a  righteous  and  fair  conquest  in  Vecna's  mind.  For  my  portrayal  of  Henry  and  Vecna  I've  been  leaning  heavily  into  religious  and  cosmic  horror  tropes  as  well  which  I  think  are  canonly  present  in  the  character.

For  example,  I  wouldn't  say  Vecna  is  just  doing  what  he's  doing  because  of  his  life  expereinces  and  his  personal  struggle  with  systematic  oppression  and  the  horrific  abuse  and  exploitation  he  suffered  at  the  hands  of  the  government.  ( Though,  imo,  thats  understandable  enough  to  me,  like  put  yourself  in  his  shoes  for  a  sec  and  tell  me  how  you'd  be  handling  it  bc  I'm  not  too  proud  to  admit  I'd  go  a  little  insane  too. )  

BUT  FOR  ME  PERSONALLY,  I've  viewed  him  as  and  written  him  as  a  messianic  archetype  and  tropes  surrounding  divine  and  prophetic  journeys  are  also  heavily  used  and  refenced  here.  Very  apocalypse  but  in  the  sense  of  the  literary  genre.  You  can  read  about  some  more  of  my  thoughts  and  references  on  that  here.  Vecna  is  associated  heavily  with  the  end  of  time  and  doomsday  but  I'll  get  back  to  this  shortly.

In  my  headcanon,  based  on  what  we  saw  in  canon,  Henry  would  practice  his  psionic  abilities  on  the  grandfather  clock  that  existed  in  his  childhood  home.  He  would  use  his  mind  to  wind  the  hands  back  and  forth  as  he  wanted.  This  was  a  big  moment  for  Henry  in  my  headcanon  because  it  was  the  first  time  he  was  able  to  consciously  and  purposely  manipulate  a  “physical”  thing  with  his  powers  and  also  it  came  with  the  realization  that  he  could  essentially  check  out  of  societies  expectations  of  him  because  he  had  powers  unlike  anything  else  in  society.  

Suddenly,  he  couldn't  be  entirely  bound  by  societies  expectations  and  pre-defined  role  for  him  and  this  was  incredibly  alleviating  for  him  as  an  autistic  child  in  a  time  period  where  the  outlook  of  life  for  an  autistic  person  was  grim  to  say  the  least.  (  Once  again,  the  social  and  political  climate  for  minorities  in  this  time  was  utterly  horrific  I  cannot  stress  this  enough  and  how  understanding  that  is  important  to  understanding  a  lot  of  themes  in  ST  in  general. )

GOING  DEEPER  AGAIN,  I  view  the  clocks  as  also  symbolic  of  Henry’s  imprisonment  as  well.  He  was  trapped  the  Hawkins  Lab  for  20  years.  He  spent  20  years  of  his  life  just  waiting  for  that  nightmare  to  end  because  the  fact  is  Henry's  alleviation  and  revelation  of  his  powers  and  desire / hope  for  freedom  was  short  lived  and  absolutely  destroyed  when  he  was  imprisoned  by  Brenner.  He  didn’t  know  how  the  end  would  come,  he  didn’t  know  if  he  would  grow  old  and  die  or  if  he  would  be  killed,  or  if  something  miraculous  would  happen  and  he  would  be  freed  somehow.  None the less suddenly  the  destiny  and  direction  Henry  had  within  his  reach  was  torn  away  from  him  and  he  became  a  slave  to  the  Lab  and  Brenner's  project. This happened more than once.

MY  personal  interpretation  that  I’ve  got  going  on  until  canon  tells  me  something  different  says  Henry  was  trapped  in  the  lab and the lab was  a  place  where  clocks  and  lights  were  a  conduit  to  reality,  to  the  real  world,  the  world  outside  of  the  lab.  In  that  lab,  time  was  all  Henry  had.  Both  things  have  become  symbolic  to  Henry  as  a  result.  So  naturally,  the  same  remains  true  of  his  time  as  Vecna,  in  the  upside  down.

 He  spent  years  trapped  in  the  upside  down,  a  place  without  society,  without  civilizations,  and  literally  without  time.  This  was  a  place  he  came  to  like.  We  don't  really  know  what  Vecna's  time  in  the  upside  down  looked  like  just  yet,  and  I  have  my  working  theories  about  it  that  I  might  mention  in  another  post  sometime  because  I  have  written  about  them  but  anyway  -

Merging  Hawkins  with  the  upside  down  kind  of  represents  a  sort  of  a  “propaganda  of  the  deed,”  but  in  a  way  that  seems  true  to  the  horror  genre  again,  with  the  aesthetic  kind  of  being  that's  he’s  become  an  agent  of  doom,  he’s  heralding  in  the  “end”  of  the  world  (  particularly  as  it  currently  is  )  in  which  an  “end”  is  considered  the  furthest  part  to  the  flow  of  time  and  therefore  can  also  be  represented  by  a  clock.  Henry's  counterpart  character  is  Kali. Her  name  represents  the  Goddess  Kali  who  is  symbolic  of  things  such  as  change,  doomsday,  time,  rebirth,  etc,  which  are  all  pretty  specifically  relevant  to  Vecna  as  well.

 Each  victim  brings  him  closer  to  fulling  this  "prophesy"  each  victim  is  symbolized  by  the  chiming  of  the  clock. Four  being  the  magic  number  also  seems  to  be  symbolic  because  we  have  the  four  points  of  time/day:  Morning,  afternoon,  evening  and  night  that  can  be  attributed  to  time   as  well  but  four  itself  is  also  an  important  number  in  esotericism  because  it  represents  the  four  seasons,  the  four  elements,  and  otherwise  is  a  number  that  represents  the  earth  and  the  natural  world.  Briefly  mentioned  by  me  before,  its  also  possible  five  is  the  true  number  here  because  it  feels  likely  Vecna is  actually  the  original  sacrifice  which  would  bring  the  real  number  of  sacrifices  up  to  five.  

Five  is  also  an  important  number  in  esotericism  because  it  largely  represents  humanity, contrasting and complimenting number four.  I  probably  could  make  another  post  to  talk  more  about  this  but  I  have  mentioned  in  the  linked  post  above  a  lot  of  the  religious  and  heavily  esoteric  themes  in  the  show  that  were  made  particularly  obvious  in  season  4 so yeah, trust me on this I'm not as crazy as I seem. I've  also  talked  about  this  before  but  in  my  POV,  a  lot  of  Henry’s  manifestations  as  Vecna  are  symbolic  to  him  on  a  very  personal  level.  He’s  walking  psychological  horror,  and  he  very  much  represents  PSTD,  depression  and  trauma,  abuse,  suicidal  tendencies,  etc  and  these  were  intentional  themes  outside  of  canon,  and  most  of  them  are  things  Henry  suffered  himself  in  canon.

 Things  that  had  an  emotional  /  mental  /  physical  impact  on  Henry  as  a  human  are  repeated  and  projected  outwardly  through  Vecna  and  Vecna’s  “curse”  in  a  highly  supernatrual  way.  I  actually  have  a  whole  separate  post  covering  a  bit  more  of  that  because  I  know  the  D*ffers  referenced  a  lot  of  iconic  horror  media  and  you  cant  tell  me  the  Ring  and  Silent  Hill  weren't  in  the  reference  pile,  though  that  I'll  repost  later  too,  lol. Like  you  said  the  spiders  are  obvious  but  THIS  is  how  the  clocks  factor  into  him  in  my  opinion.  Like  the  spiders  they  mean  something  to  him  on  a  personal  level  and  I  do  believe  theres  a  lot  more  to  the  spiders  than  just  "Henry's  favorite  animal"  as  well,  which  of  course,  I've  ALSO  talked  about  in  detail,  but  everything  that  meant  something  to  Henry  has  become  very  twisted  and  ominous  as  Vecna  and  thats  all  intentional  IMO.

ANYWAY  I  hope  that  made  sense  !  I’m  not  saying  its  COMPLETELY  canon  because  as  far  as  things  go  a  lot  of  stuff  is  still  up  in  the  air  and  I  could  be  wrong  about  things,  but  its  what  I’ve  been  reading  from  canon  so  far  and  the  approach  I've  been  taking  in  my  writing.  In  conclusion:  Henry/Vecna  is  not  just  a  senseless  monster,  he’s  the  radical  leftist  activist  that  turns  to  terrorism  to  make  the  centric  protagonists  look  good:  Horror  genre  edition.  Literally  he’s  the  horror  genres  version  of  Magneto  or  Erik  Killmonger.  (  Theres  a  reason  he's  explicitly  related  to  the  former  in  my  canon  /  AUS,  because  ST  also  explicitly  references  X  men  in  canon  constantly,  like.  The  aesthetic  is  real.  )  Its  a  hill  I  guess  I’m  gonna  have  to  die  on  but  at  least  I  know  JCB  is  so  ready  to  die  on  it  with  me  at  this  point.

[fluffyydumplings]

The House And Its Pillar

Pairings: lord!namjoon x commoner!reader

Genre: historical!fiction / angst / poetry / short!fic /

Summary: It was between love and life.. You have to choose! (Warning: either will make you crumble)

Warnings: death / angst / a hint of fluff / talks of treason / talks on difficulties that come with poverty

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: Poetic Pain.. This is what I like to call it - @jayhopely ;) Wrote this on a whim! Namjoon short fic, go! go! go! - don’t bash me for getting historical shit wrong - I tried my best with research and the knowledge I already had

In a world strip off of glory and dusted in grim, she sits there a flower slowly crumbling away as the pillars of her house did.. For someone as fragile as she was, you would expect tears to brim from every intersection of her eyes.. Enough to fill up a well and perhaps enough to drown out the world that bows beneath the feet of those with gold shoved up their throats.. A world where those with sticks hanging out of their necks are ignored, outcasted and belittled..

‘Agashi (miss/young lady).. Do you need help?’ she continued sitting there, unwilling to move.

He wanted something from her, she could tell.. It was either to kiss his fingers or to plough his land.. In a world like this, people like him are everywhere..

‘Agashi.. Are you okay?’

She was more than okay, she didn’t need his help.. She wanted to scream at him.. Scream for him to go away. That his definition of help was her demise.. But what can a person like her do? She wields no power, nor wealth.. Fastened in her hair was nothing but a simple binyeo (hair clip worn often in the past, usually to indicate that a woman is married) made out of wood..

The headdress you wore defined you - it was the living breathing indication of your rank, status and wealth - the more extravagant, the bigger and bolder the headdress.. the greater you are..

Her stomach shrunken from days of food shortage, her eyes void of sleep, and her face crestfallen as the land was.. There hadn’t been rain in weeks, no crops to blossom and no water to quench her undying thirst.. She would cry and let her knees bleed till red marred the soil beneath her, shouting at the sky and blaming whoever and whatever for her misery.. But this fate that has befallen her isn’t only hers to make tears of.. (her late husband cried much much more) A famine and a drought that came hand in hand..

‘Agashi.. Do you need my help? I have brought nourishment with me..’

She cackles.. She cackles.. She cackles so hard her lungs feel like bursting..

Nourishment? Help? She cackles.. She cackles.. The bastard king doesn't even care about the people.. Who is he to care? An eighteenth-century philanthropist? A bored nobleman that has too many grains of rice in his storage room that he can’t help but taunt the living dead with? Living dead - that’s what she is.. She lives only because she hasn’t starved to death yet, she lives only because false hope lines the steps of her damned home.. Or should a place that threatens to collapse on her and brings nothing but doom be called a house?

‘Agashi..’

‘Please leave..’

She was sure he’d slice at her neck right then and there, a permanent tear on her skin - decades and decades required to bring it to a fade.. What a shame, she can’t even fill that tear with gold.. All she has is dirt.. The healed and faded tear, a reminder that he will find her once again.. And when he does, that heedless tongue of hers will be his..

‘Agashi, you look like you need help..’

She cackles.. and cackles.. The man before her - she found hilarious.. His help? She could swear over her life and the tiny plot of land she owned, that his help was not needed. She was ready to crawl on all fours and start screaming, crying, laughing - like a crazy wench possessed by a demon of some sort. She’d rather die now than get help from a man like him.

‘Agashi..’

‘Please go.. Nari (Sir / my lord / your honour - a term used by people of the lower class to refer to those in the upper class), I do not require help.’

‘Agashi..’

In a world where his presence can either bring about chaos or joy, he stands there so close to falling apart.. He’s touched mud before, he’s nearly drowned before.. But that does not change the fact that he grew up with plates made out of jade and never went a day going hungry..

‘Please..’ one look, and that’s all it takes for him to back away and give up..

That day, he hoped to anyone and everyone that he would never see her again.. Because the day he sees her again is the day she’ll lay on the surface of a field somewhere - no longer breathing - waiting for vultures to peck at her.. He does not know of her story, her pain or her betrayals.. He never will... But, he wishes her luck..

That day, he leaves without a fight..

‘You,’ the next time he runs into her again, her dirtied robes are replaced with lace and her hair is tied up all prettily - swept to the side..

In his head, she is smiling.. In reality, she is scowling..

‘Why are you here?’

‘Revenge.’

‘Revenge?’

‘I am here for the king, Nari..’

‘He’s not worthy of that title.. The people deserve better. I am here for them.’

‘And why do you tell me this, agashi?’

‘I have overhead you and your father conversing over at the lake..’

She drops down onto her knees..

‘Please forgive me for eavesdropping in on your conversation, Nari.. I know of how I do not deserve forgiveness.. However, both you and me.. Nari.. We want the same for our country. So, please reconsider punishing me for being ruthless and lacking of courtesy..’

‘Get up..’ his voice - demanding..

She reaches for the hand she rejected years ago..

‘How can you trust me? How are you so sure that I am nothing but the king’s spare pair of eyes? I know you overheard me conversing with my father over at the lake, but how do you know I didn't mean to let you overhear?’

‘You’re a nice person,’ a sad smile grazes her lips, a look that is more foreign to him than the extravagance she is covered in.

‘That day.. Two years ago.. You left water, food and blankets at my door..’

‘Because of you, Nari.. That day, I felt warm.. Both my hands and my heart felt warm..’

‘The king’s a coward.. If you choose to help me, the fourth room of the fourth quarter - I will be there.’

She’s kissed the king, she’s laid with him.. She’s made her way through washing obscenity off of clothes to bathing in a bowl of flowers.. She’s made it far.. And the day she gets high up enough - he will be dead - his body displayed for everyone to see.. Perhaps, she’s doing him a favour.. After all, for once he will be seen - not heard - but seen..

‘Tomorrow, we strike,’ he kisses the side of her cheek, and she moves over to lay her head on his lap.

‘Once this is over, you owe me a bowl of gukbap (rice and soup),’ he chuckles, bending over to place a kiss on her forehead.

This was the day both him and her have been waiting for, ever since they could remember.

The grass was green and the sky was a murky shade of blue..

‘Meet me at the palace’s backdoor.. A carriage is waiting for us..’

What does it feel like to be stabbed in the heart - rivers, oceans, lakes, ponds and puddles of blood soaking through the pores of your once parched skin.. What does it feel like to realise that the last liquid you will ever bathe in is your own blood? What does it feel like to be a king whose death is his people’s triumph?

It has been four months ever since..

‘Y/N..’ his eyes - in them was pain, anger and fear..

‘Why?’ bleeding, he calls out to her.

It has been four months ever since she chose her over him..

Why?

‘Whyyyyyyyyyy?!!!!!’ his screams are trapped in the patches of grass around him - even as they wilt away as the white of winter hits them - his pain they would forever carry.

Why?

Because it felt nice to swim in gold.. They would never understand.. Of how all her life was spent drowning instead of swimming.. Of how she never felt safe, contented or satisfied - just lumps and lumps of anxiety, suspicion and uncertainty that clumped up in her throat.. Helpless, hopeless - she was every terrible adjective in existence and more..

‘Wh-’

The last of what his words were.. cut off.. The same way, without him.. She came crumbling down, the fragile wood she was made off and had disguised with bold red paint depleted to the ground.. Inside, she was proven to be hollow and way too delicate for her own good..

‘Your Majesty, is the gukbap not to your liking?’

‘No.. It’s delectable, Jin.. I don’t have much of an appetite, that’s all..’

‘I needed the warmth of this,’ she points at the dish that sits cold on a tray.

‘But it reminded me of someone I used to cherish dearly..,’ she is quick to add on, ‘His majesty is of course-’

‘Your highness, I might have my head on a platter for this.. But, no one is quite fond of- his majesty.. You have no need to pretend.’

‘It made me sad.. the thought of this person.’

She pauses for a second, the plots of hibiscus flowers that sit outside of her window, making her nothing but awful..

‘It made me sad that I thought betraying you would do me good.. Well, look at me now..’

I’m in pain - she wanted to add..

‘It’s what I want to say to this person...’ she fixes her hanbok, undoing the folds that have formed from sitting down, ‘Do you think he’s doing well, Jin?’

‘I hope he is..’ she flicks the dust off of her window sill..

That’s when she realises - that dust will always follow her around.. No matter where she goes or who she becomes..

[hourglass-dreams]

What your favorite song from Encanto says about you (AKA, what musical number broke your soul the most)

The Family Madrigal: If this is your favorite, you are probably the funnest person to be around. You are so passionate about the people and things you love and I adore that about you. You’re the kind of person to give your friends tours, share memories and stories about your family even when they didn’t ask for it. On the flip side, you often ignore your own problems because you feel inadequate. When anyone asks about you personally, you avoid the topic entirely and hide behind your upbeat demeanor. Remember, you are valid and it’s okay to share details about who YOU are.

Colombia, Mi Encanto: You are extremely passionate about where you come from and I adore that. Like the first one, you are super fun to be around and you just bleed positivity and light.

Waiting On A Miracle: First of all, I relate to you on a personal level. You’re often the outcast and feel left out of things that mean a lot to you. You don’t see your own potential or you feel as though nobody else does. You’ve always been underestimated and undermined so much that you have reached your breaking point. You try your best all of the time but no one appreciates it, and you’re sick of feeling useless because of it. You deserve love and appreciation just like everyone else. Let your voice be heard, you have so much to say and I’m sure the things that you express would help a lot of people including yourself. 

Surface Pressure: You need a hug, seriously. Like Luisa, you carry the world upon your shoulders and you put your entire soul into not showing any sign of being crushed by it. You work so hard for everyone else that you often forget about yourself, and your own limits. Even though you don’t express it, you wish that you could escape the expectations of reality and take a break so you don’t crumble. You feel like your worth is directly tied to what you can do for others rather than who you are as a person. You are a human, you deserve a break and relaxation. Let people help you as much as you help them, that doesn’t make you weak. Let the crushing weight gradually lay off you, I know it’s scary but trust me it is worth it. 

We Don’t Talk About Bruno: There are three possibilities for this. If this is your favorite, you probably just love the ordered chaos of this song and no matter how popular it is, you will always adore the song for what it is. The other option is, you know what it’s like to point fingers at people and not take accountability (This doesn’t make you a bad person, this just isn’t a good way to deal with your issues.). Now if this was the song that broke you, I am giving my heart to you. You know what it’s like to be the black sheep and to be blamed for everyone else’s problems. People have associated you with trouble and misfortune (or it seems that way), you feel completely demonized even when you haven’t done anything. You’re the person people talk about behind your back and it hurts so much that you isolate. Remember that even though it doesn’t feel like it, you are loved and respectable. Your mistakes don’t define you and you do not need to apologize for existing. 

What Else Can I Do?: Again, I relate to you a lot. You’ve spent your entire life being someone other than yourself in order to make everyone else happy and comfortable. You have a specific role to play though it is exhausting and unfulfilling for you, as long as the people around you are happy it’s okay. You desperately want to take control over your own life and live the way YOU want. You’re tired of feeling trapped and you deserve to break free from the mold that holds you captive. You deserve to let your guard down, make mistakes and be who you want to be. You don’t need to be perfect, imperfection is beautiful. 

Dos Oruguitas: You have such a big heart and it’s been ripped out of your body time and time again. When you fall in love, you fall hard and hold on tight so it can’t escape from you. You have been through so much pain and lost something that meant the world to you and it’s caused you to have a harsh grasp on what is currently in your life so it will never happen again. Though it is hard and it takes time, it’s okay to let go and allow yourself to heal and grow. 

All Of You: You are such a sweetheart first of all. Second, you’re the kind of person that helps bring everyone together. You are the person that people can go to when they need help. You have also reached a point where you are content with who you are along with others in your life. I applaud you for that!

[fipindustries]

a great way to get ideas for writing is to grab your favourite tropes, or scenes from a story that you like and then breaking it down into its most abstract elements so that you can understand deep down what is the emotional core of what is happening and why does it tug at your heartstrings, specifically.

for example, to me themes about accepting things that are weird or fucked up, finding human conection by way of being outcasts, finding strength or power in what you saw as your flaws, found family and master-apprentice relationships. these are all things that speak deeply to me. when i coalesce them all into a platonic shape it looks something like this:

an adult who belongs to a special group has to help a kid from that special group fit in the normal world while understanding how unfair it is that it has to be this way.

then i fill in the blanks with specifics that i find personally fascinating for whatever reason, either because its a subject that has been recently in my mind or because is just something im generally interested about exploring in general

example: a neurodivergent teacher who has learned to mask pretty well over the years trying to help an autistic student having a meltdown to calm down and later explaining that yes, it hurts, it really hurts not fitting in but this is the world we live in, but look, as long as you are in my classroom im going to make sure you can be yourself.

but maybe this is too real, maybe it hits too close to home, maybe its too boring and mundane or maybe its about a touchy subject you are not that well informed about, in that case you can put some distance or add some spice via the fantastical

a grown werewolf  teaching a recently converted kid how to deal with the transformations

here comes the magic: i have done no worldbuilding yet, all i know is this premise, in fact all i have really is a scene, that scene. but for the scene to not only make sense but have emotional impact i have to work backwards, build up these characters so that they mean something to us once we finally get to this scene. and then i have to build a world around them where they can fit in. and if i have strong enough characters and a well defined world and a larger cast scenarios, scenes and plot should spring forth organically out of that.

the kid probably has a family and goes to a school, maybe he has to sneak out to the forest to be trained, the werewolf has probably gone through a lot of stuff in their life, do they live in hiding? are they a recluse? how was the kid bitten in the first place? how did he come across the teacher? etc etc tc

[midnightkens]

To Know

The first time Natasha has the thought, she’s seven years old.

The dress is stuffy; the collar feels like a weight around her neck and Mama scowls when Natasha reaches up to tug at it. “For God’s sake, bambina,” she sighs. “Can you give it a rest? You can take it off in a few hours. You know what your father will say if he catches you playing with it again.”

At seven years old, Natasha already knows many things. She can create circuit boards, mentally solve equations that send adults running for their calculators. Yes, she knows many things, but the first thing she ever learned? Howard Stark isn’t a good father. As far as she’s concerned, Jarvis is her father. Natasha knows better than to say all of that. Instead she allows her gaze to wander around the room, taking in the sights of all the other girls in dresses and the boys in their suits.

“I wish I could be a boy,” Natasha tells Mama. “They get to wear suits and I have to wear this dumb dress.”

Mama laughs, and Natasha’s heart soars, though she’s not quite sure why her mother is laughing. She doesn’t laugh much, but it’s one of Natasha’s favorite sounds. “Don’t be silly, sweetie,” Mama says, readjusting her hair bow. “You’re such a pretty little lady.”

Pretty little lady. The words leave Natasha feeling nauseous, and for the first time in a long time, she can’t figure out why.

**

At eight and a half years old, Natasha cuts her own hair. It’s short, a mop on her head, and when Mama shrieks that she looks like a boy and what have you done to your beautiful hair? Natasha grins in satisfaction. Jarvis fixes it and gives her a soft smile. Jarvis doesn’t care that Natasha prefers jeans and t-shirts over dresses, doesn’t care that she cut off her long, curly hair. He loves her just as she is.

When he takes her to the full length mirror to take a look, Natasha’s heart flutters happily and she can hardly contain the rush of excitement. Yeah, she thinks. This is right.

**

Natasha gets detention for refusing to wear a skirt when she’s eleven years old. Pants are more comfortable, she insists. The boys get to wear them!

Dad shouts at her over the phone, hisses that she’ll never be a boy. Natasha aches for the ground to swallow her up, drag her down to the endless void where she doesn’t have to be anything. The words rise in her throat, I’m not a girl, I’m not a girl! But they die as quickly as they rise. At eleven years old, Natasha knows many things. She’s in high school at eleven years old, nearly on her way to college coursework. Natasha doesn’t know how she knows this, but it’s the most important fact that resides in her brain.

Natasha Stark is not a girl.

**

Her body is wrong. When her voice should begin to deepen it remains high pitched, a soprano note that Jarvis and Ana gush over and that she wishes desperately did not exist. Her body begins to grow and change in ways that Ana had told her it would, but Natasha had just snorted and not paid attention to any of it. Her body begins to curve and her chest begins to grow and she bleeds. Natasha spends more time locked in her bedroom, absorbed in her robots so that no one can look at her and her horrible body. Her dainty, feminine, wrong body.

Jarvis and Ana whisper about her. They’re worried. Whenever they ask her about it, Natasha comes up with an excuse. I miss Mama and wish she would come home. Dad was being a jerk again.

Rich families are cutthroat. If Natasha doesn’t conform, behave exactly how they all want her to, she’ll be an outcast. She’ll be sent away to one of those horrible camps a girl at school was talking about and Dad would make Jarvis and Ana stop talking to her.

Keeping Jarvis and Ana was almost worth all of the wrongness.

Almost.

**

That same year, Natasha comes across the word transgender in a book she’s reading. It’s not often that she has to look something up. On a Thursday afternoon, after days of contemplation, she makes the trek down to her school’s library. The other students giggle when they spot her, Natasha the freak, and she sneers at them before turning to the card catalog. It takes what feels like hours to find what she’s looking for. LGBT 306.76. She follows the numbers, dives deep into the nonfiction section and frowns. It’s a small section, but she’ll make do. There she spots a book, She's not there : a life in two genders. Natasha pulls it off the shelf, reads about this person who everyone assumes to be a girl but really is a boy. There he defines the word Natasha saw, the word transgender: a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.

It comes in waves, the realizations and relief and all of it. Everyone around her thinks that Natasha’s a girl, but something inside of her screams wrong! That’s wrong! She’s never had a word for it. And there are more people just like her? Natasha takes the book to a table and reads feverishly, taking notes.

She’ll never be able to do anything about it, but the more she reads, the more Natasha’s convinced of it. She’s transgender. Not wrong or horrible or broken.

Transgender. Natasha has more research to do.

**

She’s thirteen and alone in her room, staring at herself in the mirror. Mama says that she’s turning into a beautiful young woman, albeit not as proper as she would like. The last bit is always said with a tiny smile, so Natasha knows that Mama is joking. Mostly. And dear old Dad? Well, that bastard isn’t even around, so what does he know?

The bruises on her ribs scream in agony, but Natasha swallows down a hiss of pain. Howard isn’t here, but she refuses to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he could break her someday. She may be broken, but at least she has Jarvis and Ana.

Jarvis and Ana, who teach her how to cook. Jarvis and Ana who don’t hit or shout when she burns banana bread and nearly starts a fire, who laugh with her and choose her.

Ana bought her these clothes, these jeans and a black t-shirt that’s just a bit too big on her petite frame and brand new Chuck Taylors. Alone in her bedroom, Natasha pulls her hair back grinning at the sight in front of her. She doesn’t see Natasha, or a pretty little lady or a proper young woman. The image in front of her is young, and a bit too earnest, and dammit, Natasha, why are you crying?

The image in front of her is a boy. He looks about two years younger than her, but she can work with it. Weak, fragile Natasha is gone. In her place stands a boy, an exuberant, funny, genius of a boy. The boy and Natasha reach out; their fingers touch, and Natasha feels more at home than she has since she was eight and a half, her waist-length hair clumps on the floor.

Natasha knows what her name should have been. Mama told her years and years ago, and it felt like it was hers. Anthony. Anthony Edward Stark. “Anthony.” Natasha whispers the name, crossing that line at last. After this there’s no going back. No more Natasha and dresses and bows and heels and skirts. There will only be Anthony and his jeans and t-shirts and sneakers, Anthony and his deep voice and his rightness.

Anthony moves his fingers away from the mirror, lets go of his long hair and the illusion shatters. In front of him stands a girl, a weak, broken girl in boy’s clothing. Who is he thinking? He can’t be Anthony. His mother would never speak to him again; Howard would toss him out on the streets. He’d be all alone. He wouldn’t even have Jarvis and Ana.

He’ll call himself Anthony, he decides. Or maybe even Tony. Anthony’s too posh, too formal, everything Howard loves and all things he hates. Yes, Tony. Tony sounds good, sounds right. He’ll answer to Natasha and wear the frilly dresses and play the part of a nice young woman. The thought sends waves of nausea so fierce that his knees buckle, but Tony can do it. He’s going off to MIT next year. Just one more year and he can be free.

**

Tony doesn’t last a year. Before his fourteenth birthday he’s in jeans and t-shirts, long hair pulled into a ponytail or braid. Howard hates it, tells him he looks like a rat and a slob, but what does he know? Mama’s away on longer and longer trips, which means longer stretches where he doesn’t have to wear those horrible dresses. Everyone still calls him Natasha, and he bites back a snarl and an My fucking name is Tony every time, but he manages. The masculine clothes don’t ease all of it, but they help.

**

MIT is a godsend. For the first time in his life, Tony is free to create his robots, live out from under Howard’s thumb, and finally be himself. The media hounds him, but for the first time in his life Tony doesn’t care. He cuts his hair again and rumors about him being a butch lesbian circulate and he just laughs. If only they knew.

There is just one thing wrong, other than himself. He’s younger than everyone else, smarter and he doesn’t know when to shut up. It’s nothing that Tony isn’t used to. He survived boarding school, and he’ll survive this too.

Then he meets Rhodey.

**

At first, they’re Jim and Natasha. Jim is older than Tony by two years, but they’re in the same year. They share the same general education class, Sociology 101, and they get paired together for a project. They both have single dorms, but two months later, Tony has practically moved into his room.

Jim is now Rhodey, but Tony is still Natasha. He yearns to tell him, stops and starts, the words dying in his throat. In a short amount of time, Tony’s become attached and anyone to whom he attaches himself winds up leaving. Tony’s too loud, too smart, he stays up too late and hyperfocuses on his robots. Rhodey doesn’t care about all of that, but Rhodey will definitely care if Tony tells him I’m not a girl, don’t call me Natasha, please call me Tony. Tony can practically see Rhodey recoil in disgust, shove him away and kick him out of his dorm.

Tony can’t, won’t, risk that.

**

Howard pays for an off campus apartment next year. Tony and Rhodey live in their own apartment, almost in their own little world. Howard doesn’t know that Rhodey’s living with him. Tony had mentioned it, but Howard had just grunted, not even paying attention.

It’s better that way.

**

Tony only binds his chest when Rhodey isn’t home. He knows he’s not supposed to wrap with ace bandages, but he has nothing else and he’s desperate. What he doesn’t count on his Rhodey coming home early, seeing Tony in the living room with nothing but his jeans and an ace bandage binding his breasts.

For a long moment, they just stare at each other, neither speaking. Then Rhodey opens his mouth and Tony bolts, locking his bedroom door behind him.

Goddammit.

**

Tony waits anxiously for a few days, almost begging Rhodey to say something and get the conversation over with, but he never does. Rhodey is good like that. Everyone else thinks Tony is weird, but Rhodey loves him for who he is, not in spite of it as so many people think. That much Tony knows to be true. But if Rhodey knew this about him, then Rhodey wouldn’t love him anymore.

Rhodey is everything. He’s friendship and love, late nights and delirious mornings, comfort and safety, and Tony aches desperately to hold onto him. They sit together in the living room, Rhodey doing homework and Tony fiddling with DUM-E’s arm. Rhodey is calm, but Tony is so tense that he can hardly stand it, and before he knows it the words, “Why won’t you call me a freak?” slip from his mouth. Rhodey looks up at him in surprise and Tony continues. “You walked in on me and you haven’t said a word! Go on! Call me disgusting! Call me a freak! Just get it over with. Dammit, Jim, why can’t you just get it over with and stop stringing me along?”

Rhodey sighs and shoves his textbook away. “I haven’t said anything because I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“Bullshit,” Tony hisses. “I’m a fucking freak and you know it! Everyone else already thinks it, so go on, have at it. Tell me something I don’t fucking know.”

Rhodey raises an eyebrow. “Are you done?” Tony’s face flushes with rage, but before he can retort, Rhodey’s up and crossing the room, standing right in front of him. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think it was a big deal. Nat, you stay up for three days at a time. You leave circuit boards and wires all over and forget to do your laundry. You’re loud and funny and one of the kindest people I know. This? The, what is it called, binding? It’s not even the weirdest or worst thing I’ve caught you doing.”

Tony deflates and stares at his friend for a moment. It’s not often that he’s speechless, and judging by Rhodey’s smirk, he must be thinking the same thing. “I guess you’re right,” he says slowly. “You really don’t think it’s weird?”

“Cross my heart.”

Rhodey doesn’t think he’s weird. Rhodey doesn’t want to toss him away, discard and abandon him like the trash so many other people believe he is. Tony doesn’t deserve Rhodey, doesn’t deserve his kindness, love, or friendship. But with Rhodey, he feels the safest. If Rhodey doesn’t think he’s weird for binding, maybe he won’t care about the other stuff? Tony’s heart hammers in his chest, his palms sweat and he sits on the floor. Rhodey sits across from him, reaches out and squeezes his hand.

“Rhodey, I have to tell you something.”

Rhodey waits patiently while Tony collects himself. Tony’s never said the words out loud before. Saying them feels like the end of a chapter, one more piece of Natasha gone. The idea of saying goodbye to Natasha is exciting, exhilarating, freeing. Tony takes a deep breath and looks into Rhodey’s eyes.

“I’m transgender.”

** Rhodey has questions, of course, he does, but he holds onto Tony tightly as he explains everything. How he never felt like a girl, how he doesn’t know how he knows, but he knows that he’s a boy. He’s a boy and he wants to die every time someone calls him Natasha, how he wants to burn every dress and makeup palette he owns, how he feels like himself in masculine jeans and t-shirts and suits.

And then Rhodey does something that shocks him. It’s a question. A simple one, really.

“What’s your name?”

And for the first time he gets to respond, “My name is Tony.” Everything falls into place, and Tony sighs, leaning into his friend. Rhodey pulls him all the closer and Tony affirms, “My name is Tony.”

“Okay, Tony,” Rhodey says with a wide grin. “It’s nice to meet you.”

**

A few days later, Tony unlocks the door to the apartment and kicks off his shoes. Midterms suck, and he thinks he might actually eat dinner and go to bed early tonight. He stumbles into the kitchen, eyebrows raising curiously at the package on the table. There’s a note on top of the brown wrapping.

Tones,

Sorry if this is weird, but I just wanted to do something for you. I did research and everything says not to bind with ace bandages, so I got this for you. Let me know if it doesn’t fit.

And I know I didn’t say this before, and I should have, but thanks for trusting me.

--Rhodey

Tony opens the package and gasps when he sees what’s inside. He’s heard of these, but with Howard snooping through his credit card statements, it’s never been safe enough to buy one. The binder is lighter than he expected, but it feels like he’s touching gold. Tony rushes to his bedroom and puts it on, relieved when it actually fits. Then again, Rhodey knows everything about him. This is no exception. He puts his t-shirt back on, messes with his hair and looks at himself in the mirror. For the first time, he doesn’t see a girl pretending to be a boy. He sees himself, Tony Stark, and tears well dangerously in his eyes as he reaches up to touch his reflection. He’s still not exactly where he wants to be, he won’t be until he turns eighteen and can transition without Howard’s input, but the binder helps ease an ache inside of him, the ache that screams you’re wrong!

Tony doesn’t feel wrong, not with the binder, not with Rhodey calling him Tony and using masculine pronouns. No, for the first time in his entire life, Tony feels just right.

[lochsides]

Yellow Metal - cathartic Review

Here’s something I did not expect to be reviewing this week but when Zayn drops a 24 minute rap track, you fall in line. I had to listen to it a couple times through before I could even begin to make sense of my thoughts because my brain sort of malfunctioned. I have never been prouder to be a Zayn fan. He’s such a nuanced songwriter and there is so much to unpack here.

I think this is the most unfiltered version of Zayn that we have ever been exposed to (and possibly will ever be). I am grateful that he said his piece in this because it needed to be said. As a brown woman, I felt so seen by this and I cannot explain what that means to me. Thank you Z, for your unvarnished truth in addressing racism and various forms of discrimination.

I’m doing a short lyrical analysis below the cut, but the TLDR is that this is a fantastic piece of art that deserves to be heard.

I wish he had released this as an EP because that would be easier to review than a single 24 minute song, structurally speaking. So instead, I have picked out some key lyrics, going from top to bottom, that really spoke to me and decided to study the song that way. His lyricism is hard-hitting in this track. It is beyond anything he has ever released before.

“The planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving until we ascend so fuck the fence.” — I have not seen this lyric being talked about in the fandom, because the lyrics that follow this steal the show, rightly so, but I wanted to give this line a moment because it’s important too. To me, this lyric speaks to where Zayn is at with his relationship with the physical world. He’s out on the farm (about which he even goes to say “tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor”) and I believe he’s happy in his space and he feels connected to nature (also see River Road). So it is a poignant and slightly jaded, but valid perspective that he shares on climate change. It’s never leaving until we ascend. The damage human beings have done to the planet won’t be undone until there are no humans left to do damage. It’s a single sentence that says so much about the depth of the climate crisis. I’m doing my PhD on urban air quality so this is something I care really deeply about and I resonated with.

“And until they stop killing colour, it’s fuck the feds.” — Yeah, agreed Zayn. The systemic racism that he calls out here is echoed throughout the song, in equal parts anger and boldness. I love that he isn’t glossing over it with metaphors, which he could easily do and it would be beautiful in a totally different way, but this makes it harder for racists to overlook. There is so much power in calling it like it is.

“Never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a Benadryl, keeping it green in general.” — It frustrates me to no end to see Zayn painted as this drug-addicted lazy musician that doesn’t care about his work, because we know how untrue that is. This narrative is tired and simply boring too, and I won’t get into the racist connotations of it when you consider it against his white colleagues who smoke as much as him but that isn’t one of their defining traits in the media.

“I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work … it was hard work that got me heard” — I love the juxtaposition in this verse. The public/media perception on his career is that Zayn doesn’t put in effort or that he doesn’t want it. This obviously stems from his leaving the band. It goes back to what I was saying before about narrative, when in reality, as Zayn has said on various occasions, he fights to make his own choices. And that doesn’t have to look the way everyone else expects it to (“I beg you, don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt”), he has his own struggles that have helped forge his path, but it is his path that he paved, himself. He works hard to be heard. He has to. It reminds me of something my parents used to tell me when I was younger about being immigrants: you have to work 10 times harder for the same opportunities just because of the colour of your skin or your name on the cv. It’s a harsh truth to grow up with but it was my reality, as it is for most POC.

“This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm you. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here ‘til they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80…” — There is something about the simplicity of these lyrics are the messaging that I love. He isn’t trying too hard to sound poetic but he still manages it perfectly.

“All I've been achieving, clocking miles in this region, moving like a legion. Promise that I made to myself, an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving? Staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving. // I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy. It’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on the mike.” — This is the only 1D-related lyric I’ll make reference to because this song is about so much more than that. That said though, we cannot overlook Zayn’s experiences in the band because that is part of his story. The tongue-in-cheek of “I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving” is hilarious to me. The line about not wanting to be his own enemy anymore and growing up from 17 reminds me of that quote Taylor (Swift) mentioned in Miss Americana about celebrities getting stuck at the age they got famous. I think this verse is similar to that. None of them ever wanted to be in the band and I don’t care what anyone says, Zayn leaving and proving success outside the band gave the rest of them the courage to follow their own solo careers. Sure there was drama surrounding the split but he did it for himself, to tell his stories the way he is now. Whatever else you have to say about him, you cannot deny his authenticity.

“I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane.” — I think this line tells us 2 things, the first being that this song was not leaked. Z knew what he was doing and his twitter likes tell us as much. He didn’t release it for any sort of attention, otherwise it would be widely available on streaming platforms and for purchase. Which leads to my second point, he released this song to get everything he talks about on the track off his chest. Its referenced in other lyrics too, like “now you see where I come from, the world don’t.” This was for whoever cared to listen, not the world. It’s inaccessible for a reason. I love that he threw those lyrics in. It makes the song feel more like a private conversation or listening to a friend rant. It creates a different form of intimacy between himself and his fans.

“Lessons that I’ve learned, I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself. So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt.” — This one is for anyone that buys into conspiracy theories surrounding Zayn’s personal life. He surrounds himself with real people, real friendships, real connections. I have never bought into the bullshit that he has zero autonomy over his personal life. I love the use of plastic melting as a metaphor for ridding his life of fakeness.

“Feeling trapped. This industry is a cage.” — Zayn is obviously not the first person to say it. Many artists talk about how suffocating the industry is ( which he further comments on in the sung portion: “I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this”). Fame is such a wild and unnatural concept and the exploitation and politics of the music industry only feed further into it. The industry being a cage makes me think of zoos and how celebrities are animals on display, when they should be free in the wild. I also really like the musical interlude following this part.

“Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views.” — Zayn toes the line between keeping to himself and speaking out on important issues, sometimes not very well. I am his biggest cheerleader, but I’m not up his ass. There have been many occasions where he could’ve done better. But I cannot fault him for being offended by the State because same, Z, same. I love that he took this song as an opportunity to real speak out, no punches pulled.

“See I’ve been facing the racists from back when I were a kiddie. Born up in 93’. Living in Bradford City, they kicked me out of the school. Said they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p***, still sit in the classroom, chilling. I’m angry now that I’m older cause I see they treat us different. Got me thinking I’m the problem ‘cause they never dealt with these issues.” — See what I meant about no punches pulled. He said that! He said it like that too. There is so much in this verse that I relate to, it hits a little too deep. I grew up as a brown in predominantly white communities where the colour of my skin was the reason I was outcasted. We know when that’s happening, clear as day. The lyric “got me thinking that I’m the problem cause they never dealt with these issues” says it all. I have many racial traumas that I’m dealing with as an adult because the adults around me when I was a child didn’t deal with racism in the classroom. They do treat us different!

“20 years later, I’m still in the same boat. Tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for. Man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? // Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them. ‘Boy your skin is so light.’ Ok motherfucker, take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.” — Zayn talking his shit is my new favourite art form. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? Something that I will always be enraged by is that POC are expected to de-escalate situations of racism. We have to push our feelings down, as Zayn says in the verse, because the institution is against us. All of the institutions are against us. The fact that he takes it a step farther to say that his name makes him a target for racism, even though he is half-white just nails his point home. Also, can we please quit the whole ‘Zayn is white-passing’ bullshit. He alludes to it again later in the song (“asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define”). Its not a compliment to erase someone identity in favour of white-washing them.

“My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.” — Oh, the amount of times we have heard that age old (v. racist) saying ‘{celebrity of colour} is the new [insert white celebrity here]’ as if POC aren’t allowed to succeed in their own right. It is wild to me that Zayn has to deal with this given his level of success.

“Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening. I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine.” — There is a subtle nod to racism (and Islamaphobia) in this line, because of course the brown man is a threat, but I like the way Z turns it around. I also like the rhyme scheme.

“Raised on the benefit for whose benefit? They’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.” — Okay I might be reaching here, but this is just my interpretation. We all know the benefit system in the UK sucks. Being raised on benefit implies a lack of money growing up, but the benefits aren’t really all that beneficial to the families that rely upon them.

“Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause I hit the nerve.” — Well, okay then, just call me out. It’s fine. I seriously feel like he’s talking to me directly with this line. I imagine a lot of us do. Its one of those lyrics that are a bit too honest but that why we love them.

“Cathartic, I’m an artist. Trying to put my heart in” // “Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name.” — So do we have an alternate persona for Zayn now? Alright, I’m down. I think these two lines are tied together, because both are mentioned in the song title. (I think of the song as cathartic, by Yellow Metal, aka Zayn, or Yellow Metal as the name of the EP if this was officially released). The lyrics that accompany both title lyrics, along with the subject matter of the song as a whole, suggest that his heart is in standing up against injustices. I said it earlier, this is the most unvarnished version of Z that we have ever been exposed to. Almost like the complete picture to the puzzle pieces we’ve been putting together over the years.

“They’re tryna kill us with disease.” — Why did this line scream out ‘COVID-19 outbreaks in developing countries’ to me? Again, I might be reaching, but there is a disparity between how COVID is treated amongst minorities, along with many other diseases, and not to mention rich, primarily white countries hoarding vaccine supplies while places like India (and my beautiful Bangladesh and I’m sure Pakistan too) suffer needlessly.

“Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next. Just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around ’til I’m the best.” — I think this lyric shows off Zayn’s sentimental side more than it does his ambitious side, because we know he’s in this for the long haul. Others may doubt that but his fans never have. But hearing him talk openly about being a father on a song is something else. It’s like Khai added this whole other layer of meaning and purpose to his life and it’s beautiful to watch. I’ve been here since the X-Factor auditions guys!! It makes me so emotional to witness him like this.

“Aint many of me around, p***, I’m just different. Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil, fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto.” — God, we’ve been waiting for a fuck the label moment in this house, haven’t we? I won’t get into my theories on his label or his team, but none of us deny the fact that they should be doing more for him than they are. He has the potential to be the biggest thing with the right team and promo because he has a built-in fan base that would go the mile for him. Obviously, there’s also his aversion to promo to contend with and that’s his decision. Even without it, he could shatter every ceiling. Another thing I want to mention about this verse is the nod to the complete lack of South Asian representation in contemporary Western media.

“Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse.” — I’m just putting this in here because it made giggle. Also going to take this space to say how much I love his energy in this song. He knows he’s the shit, as he should!

“Can’t be louder … so free Gaza on my banner.” // “They’re hating on Palestine ways.” — I love that Zayn has always supported this movement, years ago, before being ‘woke’ was a thing. But now, he has a daughter that has Palestinian heritage and I’m sure that makes this hit that much deeper for him, personally. The apartheid in Palestine is heart-wrenching. It’s so strange to me to watch it happen, because I never thought I would witness something like this happening in 2021, yet here we are.

“Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing. We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route. Say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown. I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.” — This verse is straight up savage and I am living for it! I find it hilarious that he called Biden a snake. This verse addresses the truth about politics, that even electing a left-wing leader doesn’t fix the system.

“I’m Tony Stark, still embarking on a dream” // “Gone green like Bruce Banner” // “He taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten.” — And to tie it all off, I wanted to take a goofy moment to mention all the superhero lyrics Z added in this song, really showing his personality because I’m such a nerd when it comes to this stuff and it makes me wish that we were friends so I could annoy him to death about it.

[maxwell-grant]

One last one for the moment; top five superheroes who definitely AREN'T Pulp Heroes, but could be with a little tweaking?

Oof, that's a hard one. It's a hard one because, again, there ultimately isn't that much separation between the two to the point there's enough of a hard line in there to work with, but I guess the cat's out of the bag now that I've staked claims on there being differences between them.

Okay so, not counting superheroes who are deliberately modeled after actual pulp heroes, so no Tom Strong or Night Raven here. I'm sticking mainly with comic book superheroes (barring one oddball exception) since the medium separation is important), who I think could become pulp heroes with some tweaking.

5: Captain America

Sort of cheating because I already covered it here, but I definitely have to include Captain America in here, especially in the stories they actively go for a "pulp" vibe as well as the earliest ones.

Fun fact about Marvel: As Timely, they actually began life as pulp publishers. Not just pulp publishers, but specializing in some of the sleaziest, ghastliest magazines of the era, and you can bet this carried over to their superheroes. Where as DC's superheroes took inspiration from the big pulp heroes such as The Shadow and Doc Savage, Timely's superheroes seemed instead much more inspired by Weird Tales stories and Poverty Row horror films, and even in the 60s, Marvel never really abandoned their horror roots, the trick was just using them as a baseline to create superheroes. In DC, the world's first contact with superheroes begins with the world looking in wonder at a friendly strongman. In Marvel, it began with the world looking in panicked horror at a flaming monster rampaging through the streets desperately trying to not burn everything it touches. It should come to little surprise then that the majority of characters I'm including in this list are Marvel characters.

People think Captain America's first comics largely consisted of him fighting Nazis left and right, but they were actually much more often based around him encountering monsters and creatures of horror, like the above panel where it looks like Cap's staring down the beginning of Berserk's Eclipse (RIP Miura).

The early Captain America comics pretty much consisted of Kirby dipping his toe into the monster comics he'd make in the 50s which would later bleed into the 60s Marvel entourage. They even tried repackaging Captain America into a horror anthology in the 50s titled "Captain America's Weird Tales", just imagine how different the character would be today if that somehow stuck.

Imagine a world where Steve Rogers never became leader of The Avengers, never got to become the shining beacon of heroism of an entire universe, and instead, when he was unfrosted, he woke up to find a world running rampant with crawling nightmares and Nazi tyranny, and he has no idea what's become of his former sidekick. That definitely sounds like the start of a promising pulp adventure.

4: Namor

Another Timely creation. In Namor's case, he didn't so much encounter horrors from beyond imagination, as much as HE was the terrifying thing beyond us ready to rampage upon mankind, whose first on-screen act consists of the calculated slaughter of a ship full of innocents. The first true villain protagonist of comic books. Not just an anti-hero, a villain intent on wiping out the human race.

And not just a cardboard supervillain, but the beautiful prince of a race of ugly fish monsters, a momma's boy who's doing what he thinks is right by warring with surface dwellers. While Namor's become largely defined by his gargantuan arrogance, here, he's almost childlike, despite being much more brutal and villainous here, spurred on by the whims of his mother, who even acknowledges that Namor had no real reason to kill the divers but did so anyway, and now encourages him to genocide. His mom even tells him "Go now, to the land of white people!", and the very last panel of the story even states he's on a "crusade against white men".

The massacre of explorers at the hands of something beyond their understanding. A monster born of an interracial coupling. A race of fish monsters with bulging eyes, antagonistic towards humanity but are shown to have positive traits just the same. A dash of racism. There is no mistaking The Sub-Mariner's pulp horror influence.

A non-white superhuman warrior born from a Lovecraftian horror story, who gradually moves away from his villainous crusade into becoming more of an anti-hero, never truly putting aside his hatred for humanity, remaining a temperamental, unpredictable outcast, with a strong, palpable undercurrent of anger in his stories. I could very easily buy Namor as having crawled out of a Weird Tales story and I can't think of other superheroes whose origins are as steeped deeply in pulp horror.

3: Doctor Fate

Technically we already have a pulp hero version of Doctor Fate in Doc Fate, and I'll get to him separately, but even besides him, the earliest Doctor Fate stories in particular feel very much like he's a character steeped in the worlds of pulp and pulp horror who decided to put on a superhero costume and show up in comic.

He's got a similar set-up to The Shadow, from the pulp Shadow in the sense that he's a mysterious, eerie crimefighter who dwells as a presence more often than an active character and who kills criminals without remorse, always watching and waiting for the right time to strike as a a wrathful old-testament force of vengeance, and from the radio Shadow due to him using superpowers to fight crime while being accompanied by a smart, fierce love interest.

Originally, Fate was not a sorcerer, but instead a scientist who discovered a way to manipulate atomic structure, of his and other things, thus making it appear that he can do magic (although we never see his face, and he's implied to be thousands of years old, before they settled on the Nabu origin). And going back to Lovecraft, a lot of it appears in the earliest Fate stories. Fate was given powers not by a sorcerer, but an alien worshipped as a god. He barely encounters traditional monsters, but instead contends with hidden races, zombie slaves, abandoned alien monoliths, and half man and half fish creatures. Fate may have actually been the very first pastiche of Lovecraft in pop culture.

And of course we can't forget the gloriousness of Doc Fate pulling an Indiana Jones on us.

2: Wolverine

I don't even think you'd have to tweak Wolverine at all. You'd just have to get him out of the costume and Avengers/X-Men associations (although the X-Men have a substantial background in pulp sci-fi stories like Slan and Odd John, so they aren't really at odds here), maybe tone down his powers a bit and, that's it. Logan's already the kind of character who has such a varied sandbox history, whose powers can lead to so many different scenarios, that it's not a stretch at all to picture Wolverine in the usual pulp hero scenarios.

You can have half-naked Wolverine running around in the jungle with animals Tarzan-style, take him to Savage Land if you wanna throw dinosaurs in there. He's already Marvel's foremost "wandering samurai/cowboy" character which was one of the stock and trade types of the pulps. Western? Done. Samurai? Done. Wuxia? Just put him in China and add a couple extra fantasy elements. Wanna make a sword and sorcery story with him? He already comes with a bunch of knives and savagery and ability to survive grisly injuries. Horror? The MCU is crawling with them, or alternatively, tell a story from the perspective of someone who's being hunted down by Wolverine. Wanna tell a detective/noir/post-apocalypse story? Logan's right there.

Wanna have him crossover with pulp heroes? He's lived through the 1800s and 1900s and traveled all over the world, you could feasibly have him meet up with just about any of them. Logan may actually be the purest example of your question, because he's very much not a Pulp Hero, and yet, he definitely feels like a character who could have been one, at just about any point in the history of pulp magazines. He's perfect for it.

1: Wario

WAAA-okay, look, bear with me for a second here, I'm not just picking Wario because I love oddball choices and he's one of my favorite characters, I got some logic to this.

Okay so, the first question here: is Mario a superhero? While I'm usually adverse to calling characters prominent outside of comic books superheroes (hence why I'm definitely not interested in debating whether Harry Potter or Goku or Link or Frodo are superheroes), I do think it's a pretty shut case that, yes, Mario is a superhero. Superheroes don't just come in the form of skintight crimefighters, right from the start comic books have had varied types of superheroes appearing in comics and comic strips. For example, the "funny animal" superheroes are a type older than superhero comics, and they were arguably not only the most successful type of superhero of the 40s-50s era, but arguably defined trends dominating nonfunny animal superheroes, traits that predated or influenced Captain Marvel as well as Otto Binder's reshaping of Superman that defined much of superhero convention as we know it. It's part of why the question of "Is Sonic a superhero" has a very clear Yes as an answer.

So upon establishing that, yes, funny cartoon characters can be and are superheroes too, is Mario one? Well, I'd say yes. He's got an iconic uniform, he's got superpowers, he goes on fantastical adventures, he is both a nebulously general do-gooder as well as having a clear mission as protector of the Mushroom Kingdom. His adventures span multiple storytelling formats, he's got catchphrases, he even dresses up in Superman's colors and has a Super prefix iconically associated with him. Not a superhero the way we usually think of, but a superhero nonetheless.

And Wario? Well, putting aside Wario-Man who's more of a running gag than anything, Wario does just about everything Mario does. He's got all the traits that define Mario as a superhero short of a Super prefix and the selfless mission (which isn't exactly a rule). He goes around and gets into crazy adventures, he picks up items, beats bad guys, conquers the odds, and gets some kind of prize for it. He's got Mario's physical traits, and Mario's costume, and just about the same name short of a single letter. The caveat being, of course, that he's Wario, and so everything Mario is or does has to be exaggerated to gross extreme.

Mario is paunchy and strong, Wario's round and built like a powerlifter. Mario's got a friendly face and a fluffy mustache, Wario's got a massive horrible grin and jagged razors for a stache. Mario is a bit of an overeater, Wario can and will eat anything in front of him. Mario gets around with acrobatics and magic power-ups, Wario brute forces his way through everything and just rolls with whatever injuries he picks up along the way.

Mario gets fire powers by consuming magic flowers. Wario sets himself on fire and barrels around destroying everything in his path. Mario harnesses the elements or abilities of beings around him to clear obstacles and solve puzzles, Wario gets turned into a zombie, a vampire or a drunk to get the same things done. Mario befriends and rides dinosaurs who raised him from infancy, Wario piledrives dinosaurs and then uses their bodies to beat up more dinosaurs. Mario pals around with fellow heroes, princesses and friendly fantasy creatures, Wario pals around with aliens, witches, mad scientists, cab drivers, and lanky weirdos. Mario always ends his adventures joyfully leaping to the next one, Wario usually ends up either cackling in a pile of treasure or completely broke.

Mario races through plains to rescue princesses, Wario invades pyramids to hunt for treasure. Mario jumps through planets with baby stars guiding his path, Wario crashes into the Amazon jungle and fistfights the devil. You can see where I'm going with this.

If you were to take one of Nintendo's heroes to make them into pulp heroes, Wario, specifically the Wario Land Wario, may be the only one who really could do it, because in essence, he's the videogame equivalent of Professor Challenger. He's Bluto moonlighting as Indiana Jones, the weird brute adventurer for weird brute adventures where everything's off limits and you can trust our intrepid hero, who really shouldn't be a hero on all accounts, to deliver us a good time, give or take a couple deaths, scams, shams and oh-damns to complete said mad treasure hunts.