#about going as far as playing with a taken heart especially if it's from someone like oryx

[lemonlover1110]

𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

Toji Fushiguro

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x babysitter!f!Reader

Summary: After not hearing from Toji for some time, he requests your services again. Too bad you now have a boyfriend...

Warnings: MDNI, babysitter!Reader, Smut, Cheating, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex (f. Receiving), Age Gap (Reader in 20s, Toji in 30s), Reader's Parents and Toji are friends, Cute baby Megumi is adorable, Reader literally cheats while her boyfriend is on FaceTime

10k Event Masterlist

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

*practically a continuation of babysitting service but you don't have to read the first part to read this gsohgsoh

After babysitting for your parents’ friend, Toji, you leave for college again. You forget about your hookup just as fast as it happened, since you don’t really see Toji. You’re barely in town, and when you are, you don’t see him. He doesn’t call for your services again, which disappoints you momentarily, until you meet someone new. 

This man isn’t just a hookup though. You spend almost every possible minute with each other and you go on dates. You’re happy with him, you swear he’s the man that you’ll marry. But sometimes you have to spend time away from each other so you don’t get sick of each other. 

So once a month you go back home alone for the weekend since your university isn’t too far away. You usually lounge around in your home and be absolutely lazy. It’s a well earned break after studying so much– But this weekend your parents tell you that someone needs you to babysit. You pray that it’s some new neighbors or a friend that you’ve never met before since you doubt that you can handle seeing Toji again. 

He creeps up in your mind sometimes, especially when you’re aroused. You hate how he comes into your mind when you’re having sex with your boyfriend. That’s the only time Toji comes into your mind. His touch still lingers on your skin even after so long. You’re convinced that Toji is just a hookup that you’ll never be able to forget, and you’ll compare every guy that you come across with him.

You’re disappointed when they mention Toji, and they can see the disappointment on your face, making them question why. Is Megumi a misbehaved kid or something? They’re taken back when you tell them quite the opposite, Megumi is great. You assure them that you’re fine, and you’re excited to take care of Megumi again.

When you get to his home, he’s ready to go on a date. He trusts you enough to know what to do since this isn’t your first time taking care of Megumi; maybe you feel a twinge of jealousy, and you feel unappreciated when the man doesn’t bother to look you up and down after you put on a special outfit simply for his admiration. 

But you move on past it. You don’t spend more than five minutes with him before he’s gone, leaving you alone with Megumi. You put on a jacket to hide the rather revealing outfit choice for the night, and you focus your attention on the boy who wants to play some board games with you.

“Daddy sucks. He never wants to play.” Megumi shares when you set up the game. Megumi has no one else in the house, and the boy can’t teach the dogs how to play a board game. It’s not as fun since there’s only two of you, and he barely comprehends the game, but you enjoy yourself regardless. 

You’re focused on the game so much that you don’t hear the front door open, and you’re startled when you catch a glimpse of Toji. You put your hand over your heart that beats at a rapid pace. You can’t help but ask, “Why are you here so early?”

“I forgot something.” Toji answers, and he’s about to head upstairs but his feet stop. He has the urge to go to the table and join you two, which is what he ends up doing. It’s sweet, and it brings a smile to your lips. Luckily, you’re not too into the game so he’s able to join without a problem.

His phone begins to ring, but he ignores it. He has bigger matters to attend to, like showing you two how he’s much better at the game. You have a feeling that it’s his date, and you feel bad for her for a moment. It doesn’t take too long for you to forget about her and focus on Toji and Megumi.

“Let’s order some food. What do you two want?” Toji offers, and Megumi shouts out what he wants for dinner, which makes you agree since you have no preference for anything at the moment. You continue playing until the food gets there.

You try to leave after eating since your service is clearly no longer needed, but Megumi asks you to watch a movie and you can’t refuse. His adorable little face doesn’t let you, so you stay to watch the movie until he falls asleep. Toji takes him to his room, and you pause the movie.

You doubt he wants you to stay considering the only reason you were here was to take care of Megumi– But he would’ve asked you to leave the moment he decided he wanted to play with his son. You grab your phone from your purse and look through it while you wait for Toji to come back. Toji holds a stack of cash when he walks back to the couch and he asks, “How much for tonight?” 

“Hmm… I guess tonight is free since you did stay. It was easy.” You answer as you stand up from the couch. You sweetly smile at him, and you begin to walk towards the door. When you walk past him, his hand goes to your arm which forces you to stop. Your sweet smile turns to a smirk, and you try to disguise it.

“You’re not done here.” He says, and you try to act innocent.

“How so, Mr. Fushiguro? Megumi is asleep.” You respond. You bite down your lip as you try to read the look on his face. His hand goes to the zipper of the jacket that is far too big for you, and he pulls it down to show your rather revealing outfit.

“You know damn well.” He finally acknowledges the outfit that you put on for him, and you purse your lips together. It was only for teasing purposes, that’s what you remember. It’s the first time that you’re sad because you have a boyfriend, one that you adore more than anyone.

“I have a boyfriend, Mr. Fushiguro. If I’m right, what you’re implying is inappropriate.” You share, and you watch as the man furrows his eyebrows. A boyfriend has never stopped Toji before, and this won’t be a first. 

“We can just make out a bit, nothing crazy.” Toji responds, and you tilt your head to the side. Toji raises his brow, “What? It’s just some kissing, does he think that’s cheating? Or would he be scared that I can do it better than him?”

You bite your tongue as you look Toji up and down. It is cheating. But maybe you’ll listen to him because your body begins to remember his every touch and you’re turning into putty at the mere thought of him touching you again. But you fight back the obscene thoughts that run through your head. 

“It’s wrong, and it’d break his heart.” You say. A sly smirk comes to his lips.

“It wouldn’t break his heart if you don’t tell. How is he going to know? I’m not going to tell.” Toji tells you, taking two steps toward you before he looks down at you. He licks his lips before speaking lowly, “Just some kissing between two friends, a secret within us.”

“Are we friends though?” You ask, and he nods in response. His hands go down to your waist, and you know that with him it won’t stop just with kissing. He wouldn’t want to just kiss. “Can you stop at kissing?”

“Yeah.” He responds, and his lips go down to meet yours. You’re hesitant before kissing him back, but you give in. Your tongue enters his mouth and presses against his. Toji picks you up as the kiss deepens, and he carries you to the couch. He lays down on the couch and you lay on top of him, knee on either side of him. He doesn’t stop at mere kissing as his hands roam through your body, his hands squeezing your tits before they go under your skirt. He doesn’t really touch your pussy, just playing with the waistband of your panties. 

You both hear a phone ring, but you ignore it as his tongue wanders around your mouth. The sound fades away, and Toji’s fingers begin to rub your clothed cunt. The last thought in your mind is your boyfriend, you’re about to let this happen again without a single problem.

The second time the phone rings, it irks Toji. It’s not his phone since he turned it off. He pulls away and orders, “Check who it is. They’re annoying.”

You do as he says, grabbing your phone and checking who’s calling. Guilt rushes through your body as you see the incoming facetime call from your boyfriend. You get completely off Toji and go to the armchair that’s in the living room, fixing yourself up before answering the call.

“Hey babe…” You try to be cheerful, putting a fake smile on your face. Toji clicks his tongue, and you pray that he doesn’t make his presence known. You watch through your peripheral vision as he gets off the couch and gets in front of you on his knees. “Sorry for not answering, I fell asleep. Waiting for this kid’s dad to get home.”

Toji smiles as your boyfriend assures you that it’s fine. Toji spreads your legs, pushing your panties to the side. You’re so close to hanging up the phone and asking Toji what the hell he’s doing since this is a bit more than just kissing– But he begins to kiss your cunt, and you never really specified. You’re not complaining.

His tongue licks up your folds, and you bite down on your lip for a moment. You try to continue having a normal conversation with your boyfriend, telling him about your weekend so far. Toji’s tongue begins to flick your clit.

Two of Toji’s fingers run through your folds, getting them wet with your slick before he pushes them in. His fingers are so thick and long, it causes a soft moan to leave your lips, and your boyfriend asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” You respond. You look down at Toji for a moment, and you see his mischievousness reflect in his eyes. He’s enjoying this. He loves hearing your boyfriend as he tastes you on his tongue. “How are you doing though? T-Tell me about your day.”

Toji’s mouth detaches, saliva connecting his tongue to your cunt. His thumb takes the place of his tongue. You have to bite down your lip to not moan as he makes you feel so good. Toji smirks before commenting, “You taste so good.”

“What was that?” Your boyfriend asks, and you could kill Toji. 

“What was what?” You act confused, and you play it well enough for him to drop it. Toji tries not to chuckle as his mouth attaches to your clit again. Your hand goes to his hair and you push his head.

Toji makes it his mission to moan against your cunt, wanting your boyfriend to hear. You can’t risk it anymore, you have to smile, and you tell your boyfriend, “I have to go, babe. Megumi woke up.”

You hang up the phone before he can say anything and toss it to the side. You glare at Toji’s hair while his mouth works wonders, and his fingers hit every right spot in your cunt, “You’re a piece of shit.”

He can’t say anything, he can only hum on your cunt. He knows he’s a jerk, but that doesn’t stop you from moaning as he eats you out. You throw your head back as you feel pressure build up in your lower abdomen. 

“Fuck– Toji.” You finally moan his name, and for once in his life he feels jealous that he doesn’t get to hear that every night. Your boyfriend lucked out– Even when you’re here cheating on him. Sure, Toji initiated it physically but you chose your outfit for a fucking reason. 

“Shit, shit, shit! I’m gonna come.” You announce, your hand gripping the armchair. You see white as you reach your climax, and Toji moves his fingers in and out of you a couple of times before taking them out. His tongue keeps flicking your clit since he just can’t get enough of your taste on his tongue. 

You have to pull him away from your overly sensitive clit, and Toji swears he could die a happy man. You come off your high and you frown, warning him,

“If you caused too much trouble, you’re going to be sorry.”

Toji has never wanted to be sorry in his life before, except now. You hate the smug look on his face, and you click your tongue, “You’re a fucking jerk.”

[josephquinnswhore]

Little bird - joel miller x female reader

summary: joel is a merciless hunter for sport, seeking many anew victim when he comes across you. who changes everything.

word count: 3.8k

content warning: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE CONSUMING. joel is basically a psycho? he kills for sport, control freak, stalking, murder, dubcon, age gap, power dynamic, manipulation, gaslighting, forceful face fucking, reader spews on Joel’s cock, blood play, forced proximity, m orgasm, fingering, m and f oral receiving, f orgasm, pet names such as; little bird, birdie, princess, daddy.

Joel had adapted to the outbreak effortlessly, without thought, like a bird jumping from its nest, like instinct. It is in his nature alike to theirs, to adapt through the conditions to ensure survival for their species without second thought for consequence. Even after what had happened to his daughter.

The instance of her unnecessary death had sent Joel spiral into this mindset, serial killing and torture. Not even out of necessity, supplies, he just found a sense of control in the act.

He is constantly covered in blood, his hands, neck and clothes all had stains on them. But he found comfort in the act of squeezing his large hands around someone’s frail neck, seeing the light fade from their eyes.

Paired travellers were his preference. The men always tried to be heroes, and Joel found it amusing that they always thought they’d beat him in battle, underestimating Joel's pent up rage and obsession for control. His strength is unmatched—survival skill and pure animalistic rage is channelled with each plea for mercy.

He’d seen many people around him change, good hearted folk who had clawed so far deep into the instinctual rage of strength and determination within themselves. Just so they had what it takes to survive this world.

But Joel—this darkness was raging inside of him before the outbreak, before any real need to access this side for survival had even come into play. With decades of experience, he had become skilled at stalking, especially. Observing.

Often he had thoughts about doing bad things to women and men that he acted out on. He couldn’t find a goddamn ounce of sympathy within himself as he hunted people, stalking his next victims through every state and terrain.

It was sport for Joel, a comfort as he realises that everyone’s life is in his hands, that he gets to decide who lives and dies. That he remained victorious. Too brutal and savage for anyone to defeat.

Notoriously good at what he did, he had more blood on his hands than probably anyone, finding the stalking as exhilarating as the kill.

It had never been anything more than that, until now.

Until he had seen you, two days prior.

He had taken one glance at you, and his feet of their own accord, had started trailing you. Following from a distance as the memorises the size and depth of your footprints in the snow. Since then, he’d been listening in on the two of you bickering about how lost you were, namely you—terrified about where you were, and where you were going.

Walking through the thick snowfall of the mountains, carrying that overloaded bag that made your shoulders sag. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d see your face crumble in pain as you try to adjust the straps of the bag, or beg the young man you traveled with to put some items into his own bag to take some weight off your shoulders.

Watching every interaction between you and this man from the past two days, he could conclude that he was your boyfriend. He hated this boy, the way he walked ahead of you, made you keep first watch after a gruelling day of travelling.

You don’t argue or seem to mind which Joel concedes is a product of this being a constant for you.

He gathers that more than likely, you didn’t understand how you were being taken advantage of. That this boy didn’t care about you, not the way he did.

The thought infuriated him, sending a rush of heat through his body as he clutched onto the falling bark of a tree he had hidden behind, observing you through the forest, the only thing that separates you from him, is a small clearance of flat ground to your small, makeshift camp.

A natural formation of a cave like structure made of rock. All you had to keep you warm was a freying sleeping bag and the arms of the boy wrapped around you.

Joel thinks about all the ways he’d take care of you. Giving you his thick, insulated winter coat, lighting a fire for you in his cabin. Keeping watch the entire evening so you could rest your fragile body.

The more he thinks, the more he fuels his own obsession. He wonders what your skin feels like under his own sinful ones, wonders what your cries would sound like, if you’d give into him or run.

For the first time in years, he doesn’t want to kill, he doesn’t plan on wrapping his thick hands around your neck to crush your oesophagus. He doesn’t think about reaching for his sharpened hunting blade and driving it to the hilt into the soft, warm flesh of your neck.

No, you were different. So pretty, so mistreated. He had to take care of you. Bring you into his warm hands like an injured bird in need of delicate care.

You’re exhausted beyond belief. The old boots you wear are barely holding together, even with the duct tape you’d wrapped around the collapsing soul, and even that was wearing off the front of the shoe.

You know you can’t risk sliding them off for a moment to dig your fingers into your heels to relieve the ache, in fear of infected, or people.

It’s not ideal to stop here, in the middle of the snowfall, freezing your asses off. You’re so lost, and afraid.

There’s a sense of bitterness rising inside of you as you watch your boyfriend sleep, you love him, with each beat of your heart… but you needed to sleep too. If only.

Hours pass of you staring into the clearance of trees and snow, of nothing. Not a bird, not a wisp of wind. The lack of anything happening only fuelled the burning in your dried eyes, lulling them to close, just for a moment.

You don’t know that you’d fallen asleep, standing upright against the tree you were keeping watch from until you’re awoken by a blood curdling scream.

Shaking you out of your slumber, you turn to see your boyfriend is gone from the makeshift camp.

A sense of dread buries itself deep into your skin.

“No.. fuck.. no! Jacob!” You cry out, ignoring the ache in your feet as you run back the way you heard the scream. Holding your handgun in front of you cautiously, there’s another scream.

But it sounds like it’s encircling you. Surrounding you from every direction.

“Jacob!” You scream back, tears welling your eyes.

This was your fault.

A spec of blood catches your eye, like a trail of a clue leading you to a horrific mystery. But you follow, urging yourself to run as you come to see your boyfriends body tied to a lonesome tree in front of a small nearby cabin.

“Jacob… Jacob it’s me,” your voice cracks, tossing your gun down onto the snow as you reach for the tightly knotted ropes that had him restrained against the tree. Jacob’s voice is muffled by a rope fastened into his mouth, keeping his head upright against the tree.

Despite his desperate attempts to warn you of the looming predator behind you.. it’s hopeless.

The blood has created a small pool around him, seeping into the snow. “I’m gonna help you okay? I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. I’m gonna get you out of this.”

A sound behind you makes your fingers freeze in place around the rope, the familiar sound of the hammer of a gun being pulled back—ready to fire.

Frantically, you look to the ground and realise that your gun is no longer where you’d tossed it. The only evidence of it was a deep imprint in the snow.

A deep, southern voice carries strong through the short distance between you, sending a nauseating shiver down your spine. “Hands where I can see ‘em.”

You raise your hands above your head, kneeling on the ground, eyeing your boyfriend with tears in your eyes, mouthing to him with a tremble of your jutted bottom lip. “I’m so sorry.”

“Turn around.” The deep voice instructs.

Obeying, you turn your body towards your captor, on your knees with your hands still in a surrendering gesture. Eyes stuck on his shoes that were in much better condition than your own, practically new looking.

The cool metal of your own gun traces the shape of your chin, lifting your face upward to meet the gaze of an older man. His dark brown eyes shift as he takes in every feature of your face, committing every detail to memory.

You’re even prettier up close.

“Please don’t do this, I .. we don’t have anything to give. We’re starving as it is and our supplies are worn.” The plea goes ignored, but you’re desperate.

“I’ll do anything, just help Jacob, don’t let him die like this,” you beg, fat tears rolling down past your waterline.

So pretty when you cry. Those bright, big eyes begging him to help you. It’s exactly what he wanted.

“Oh? You’ll do anything will you?” Darkly, he chuckles. “Remember this promise, little bird.”

The man holds your gun in his hand and grabs at you, one hand grasping the back of your head and bringing it flush to his crotch, rubbing your soft face over the hard bludge of his cock.

A breathy moan escapes him at how you protest, the palms of your hands against his thighs attempt to push him away.

“Tss. Maybe you don’t care about your little boyfriend after all, do you?” He scolded you.

A dry sob slips past your cracked lips, seeming to give up against the harsh grip of the man. A twisted rumble from within his chest vibrates against your palms splayed on his jeans.

“Unbutton my jeans and take out my cock,” the older man sneers, in a means to humiliate you.

Your cold, trembling fingers work at the tight button, and it pops open with a sense of release as his stomach slightly overhangs the right fitting denim. The zipper is freezing—but you manage to keep your fingers pinched around the small zip enough to pull his jeans down to expose him.

More tears fall down your face as you fail to accept what was happening.

“Tell me you want this cock, little bird.”

At your silence, the man redirects the barrel of your gun to your boyfriend. “You think I won’t fucking shoot him again?”

With his booming, threatening promise of violence against Jacob, you utter nonsense.

“I want your cock,” voice cracked thickly as you force the words out.

The man growls in approval, bringing the gun back to you, tracing the barrel of the weapon against your lips in a tantalising threat.

“If you try anything, including biting.. I’ll blow your fuckin’ brains out princess.” The utterance through gritted teeth sends your blood cold.

He had no intention of actually killing you, but the way you were trembling beneath him was a good sign you believed it.

“Now be a good girl and swallow your daddy’s thick cock,” he hums, forcing the thick, blunt tip through your parted lips.

It burns, how far his cock has stretched your lips wide open, the intrusion so far deep into your mouth makes you gag around him, but that doesn’t deter him at all. Pushing further into your mouth, down the back of your throat.

“Fuck little bird, knew your mouth would take me perfectly.”

Tears, snot and saliva all accumulate at the base of his cock, urging his hand to force you closer to him. Holding his cock down your throat, legs trembling beneath him at the feel of you struggling, gagging against him and the palms of your hands frantically trying to push him out of your mouth so that you could breathe.

He pulls halfway out of you, and with that a small amount of bile from your throat coats his cock. Your mouth was so perfect, warm and stretched out for him. Taking him so well. Nothing deters this man from taking exactly what he’d dreamt of you these past two days.

The constant reminder of the gun pressed against your temple was forcing you to endure this. It would save Jacob, it would ensure survival for the two of you.

It hurts, the way he’s fucking himself into your throat relentlessly. The pace is brutal and each growl makes your stomach feel sick.

The worst part is that your body is reacting to this, the slick between your legs is gathering and becoming incredibly uncomfortable.

“Gonna swallow my cum, birdie, fuck.. can feel my cock down your throat.” He can see the thickness down your throat too, swollen full of him. He cums with a strangled groan, the sight of his cock twitching down your throat sent him over the edge.

“Such a good girl, ain’cha?”

You’re completely fucked out. Eyes blown wide and red from the tears you shed. He pulls his cock out of your mouth to trace the outline of your plump lips.

“Please let us go now,” the hoarse request is met with a twisted cackle.

The man stuffs his hard cock into his jeans, the outline of it is impossible to ignore as you look up at him with a pleading gaze.

You had done everything he’d asked, and perfectly too.

Which is why he had to do this.

“Sorry, birdie. But I can’t let you go now.”

He brings your gun upward to Jacob and pulls the trigger. Five pounds of pressure against the trigger causes your boyfriend's head to fall limp against the tree, a gaping, bleeding hole in the middle of his forehead.

“No!” Your voice cracks as a guttural scream tears through the air.

No part of your body is listening as you will it to move, for your legs to carry you to stand and run, but they’re numb from being knelt on the icy ground so long.

The man shoves you onto the soft, snow. Your head is right beside your lifeless boyfriend’s body. “Jacob.. Jacob please,” you beseech, hoping that he’d somehow be able to save you.

Your arms are flailing against his chest as he crawls on top of you, the weak attempt gains a thick hand down the front of your cargo pants, and a hot growl against your lips.

“Maybe I don’t need to clip your wings after all, birdie, seems this pretty fucking pussy is already wet. Don’t pretend to fight me, princess. She wants this.” Without warning, one thick finger pushes inside of your weeping cunny, before pulling it out.

A protesting whine rolls off your tongue as he removes his finger, before you could stop yourself. He sucks your juices off the digit. And his eyes darken.

“Been thinkin’ bout how this sweet pussy would taste, knew it would be perfect.”

The older man sticks the same finger that had just been inside you, into one of Jacob’s stomach wounds, coating his finger in the warm, red blood.

He thrives off the mortified expression that causes your face to scrunch up, wiggling as he brings the bloody finger down to your lips, forcing it into your mouth.

But as he retreats his finger past your lips it’s now stained red, albeit clean. But you reject it, gagging against the metallic taste, spitting the blood onto the snow in a messy spatter, some of it sticking to your cheek and chin.

“You’re sick!” A crooked smile stretches the man’s lips at your accusation.

“No, no little bird. This is exactly what you need. A real man to protect you, so that this..” he gestures to your boyfriend. “Doesn’t happen to you, I’m sure you don’t want that, do you?”

The condescending tone is lost on you as the griping reality of fear ensnares you.

Your throat aches at your attempt to swallow the saliva in your throat, bobbing thickly. The small notion of you shaking your head appeases him greatly.

“I’ll take care of you. All I ask is that you don’t run, or I will clip your wings, understand me little bird?”

A second nod seals your fate.

“Believe me when I say you made the right choice, you were comin’ with me either way.”

Turns out that the small, wooden cabin belonged to this man. He had kept his large hand on the small of your back the entire time he showed you around. His homestead was fully furnished with food, supplies, furniture, even toilet paper.

“This is where you’ll sleep.” He opens a door, and there’s no windows, just a bed. Accompanied by a giant lock on the outside of the door.

He wouldn’t need to clip your wings, if he could cage you in.

“Sit down,” he orders, and you obey, still in shock as your brain tries to swallow the past hour of events whole, not allowing you to process it.

The wooden stool creaks, and he silently fills a bucket of warm water and sits across from you on a chair at the dining table.

Delicately scrunching a small cloth in his hands to wipe the dried blood off of your face, he leans in toward you, an almost soft expression plastered as he concentrates.

“If you’re good f’me we’ll give that friend of yours ‘o proper burial. Would you like that?”

The sweetness of his voice lured you in, to stare into his deep brown eyes, to take in the concerned shape of his pinched brows.

“I.. I would like that.”

He hums, you were learning quickly. Once he’s happy with your face being cleaned, he stands, picking up the aluminium bucket by the handle and pouring it down the sink. Clunking as he sets it back on the floor.

“Let’s go bury him then.” Before he changes his mind.

The snow was too thick for Joel to penetrate the soil with his shovel, so he had just cleared a foot of snow and tossed the young man into it, burying him under the frost, stacking a few rocks on top of the unmarked, unnamed grave.

He’s impressed and grateful you don’t run away though the process. That would implicate some serious issues and more importantly, require some kind of punishment.

Joel was willing to do anything to train you, to ensure that you never ran from him. In that regard, since you did stay, he felt he would reward you.

His bed is warm, the duvet is thick and the smell of him brings a sense of security to you for some reason, despite all that had happened.

“When you appease me, as you have today. I’ll reward you.” He coos, gently lying you down onto his soft bed, crawling between your legs, hastily shuffling your pants down your legs.

His face is directly between your thighs, and he parts them softly.

“I can smell how badly you need me, little bird.” He groans, pressing hot, open mouthed kissed to your inner thighs, slowly, agonisingly closer to your core.

He’s surprised when you impatiently nudge the back of his head closer to you. “That’s my girl.”

The curve of his nose rubs against your swollen clit, his tongue darting upward and into your pussy with a newfound passion.

He growls against you, the notion sends a vibration through you, and you let out a soft whimper. Thick hands ground themselves in your hips, dragging you downward in the bed so his face could delve deeper into your hole.

The wet muscle is skilled in it’s explorative ministrations, licking a long stripe from your core to your swollen clit.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get some attention too.” The promise he utters to your neglected clit is fufilled as he clamps his mouth around the bundle of nerves and sucks on you, the pressure causes a suction that feels electric.

Your fingers stiffen as they grasp onto his unruly curls. Coaxing him for more, more more more.

And he gives—the tip of his tongue skilfully, slowly working you closer and closer to the edge you’d never been brought to before.

Your thighs instinctively clamp shut around his head, keeping him buried there, not wanting him to stop.

“Please, please, please need more,” your unintelligible begging implores him to double down on his ministrations.

He can feel that you’re going to burst against him, slowly, and slowly he was winding the burning hot coil inside of you, the pressure was becoming unbearable as your thighs quake and tenable at his command.

Two of his thick fingers are swallowed by your constricting cunt, clamping down as you cry out at the intense sensation. His fingers expertly work you, pumping deep inside of you, calloused fingertips hitting the spongey flesh inside of your slick hole.

“Fucking.. need you..” you’re slurring your words, and he’s convinced that your hole would swallow him if you pushed him far enough between your legs. He could feel how greedily your pussy was swallowing his fingers. Desperate for release.

In an act of desperation, you begin to forcibly rut your pussy against his face as you raise your hips, tiring of his pace not being quiet enough to give you what you needed.

“Please.. please I want to cum.. gonna cum..”

At the increase of friction, and him allowing you to use his face your orgasm comes crashing over you. Your pussy constricts around his fingers as he works you at a slower pace through your climax.

A delicious string of babbling moans and praise roll past your lips.

Thighs jittering with a delicious tremble as they finally relax from their tight vice around his head.

“Thank you.. thank you..” the faint, inarticulate cry was all he needed for him to grin against your pussy.

You’re left heaving, and he’s mesmerised by the way your chest rises and falls at his performance. It’s something he has become enticed with—seeing you alive. Breathing.

It’s unusual for him, admiring the life within you when he was so used to taking it.

And now, as he pulls away from your pussy, lying beside you in his bed. Your body in his arms.. he knew he’d made the right choice to keep your life.

“You did so well f’me little bird.” The praise falls on your ringing ears, but all that’s returned is a vulnerable whine.

Not bothering to correct him after a moment of silence, you can’t help the words that feel petulant to ask. “Who are you?”

“Joel. And this—is your new home.” He croons into your tangled hair.

All for a moment, in the blissful ecstasy you forget how you ended up here.

[sunshineandspencer]

Friendly face (Part 2)

A/N: I may have misjudged the amount of people that would love receptionist x hotch, and I never planned on a part 2 but I will always succumb to peer pressure.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Receptionist!Reader.

Summary: Now that his favourite receptionist works on his floor (with absolutely no intervention from himself), Aaron finds himself almost as smitten as his son.

Word Count: 609

Warnings: fluff in a way that my heart hurts

part 1 here!! and part three!!!

While working in the main reception had been interesting over the years, it was nothing compared to working on the BAU floor.

Firstly, the team had taken to her so well, and everyone absolutely adored her. Penelope especially, considering she now had someone that constantly stayed back just like her. Spencer, too, is an absolute sweetheart that she would probably die for.

Whenever they came back from cases, she always had a new batch of whatever she’d been baking just for them.

However, the team found out about her ‘first come gets two’ stipulation that she had, and didn’t like that it constantly went to Hotch. Plus he’d go on to get a third that supposedly went to Jack, but Morgan was convinced that he just eats it on the way home and his son doesn’t see a crumb.

Being accused of favouritism, especially with the Unit Chief, wasn’t something she expected, but she embraced it readily. Played into it, actually.

Absolutely adoring the way he would pretend that he hadn't ever taken two - “let alone three Morgan, get a grip” - but then made a big thing of packing two small paper-wrapped treats into his bag in full view of the team.

Accompanied by her soft giggles from the receptionist desk that she desperately tried to hide as they all walked out.

Although, her absolute favourite times at the BAU were when JJ and (especially) Hotch’s kids visited. They now swarmed her desk, asking so damn cutely for candy and treats that she’d happily sneak to them.

While Henry was adorable, Jack was absolutely her favourite.

Today, as she walked into the bullpen to sort out some files, she was met by the joyful giggles of the younger Hotchner boy running at her. Until she had a mess of blonde hair buried into her stomach that nearly ran her over.

“Oh~! How is my favourite Hotchner!”

“Good.”

The voice that responded wasn’t exactly the one she had expected.

It didn’t come from the muffled face buried into her pastel pink cardigan, it wasn’t high pitched and excited - moments away from begging for another candy - and it certainly didn’t belong to the younger Hotchner currently lolling his head back to look up at her.

Instead, as she looked up, she was met with the amused glance of Aaron Hotchner. A man who appeared far too smug for his own good.

Deciding to blatantly ignore the other agents as he walked over to them, ruffling his son's hair and talking softly. Easing the files from her hand.

“Don’t knock her over Jack, or she won’t give us biscuits anymore.”

The boy pouted and she knew she could never deny him anything, looking up to smack Aaron’s arm softly. Giving him a playfully scolding look.

“I would never deny my favourite Hotchner anything.”

“I should think not.”

Neither of them delved into whether or not she meant Jack or Aaron. Knowing it wasn’t worth getting into right now - he’d interrogate her over their dinner on the weekend.

With a gentle brush to the small of her back, Aaron slipped past her towards his office, and she looked back down to Jack. Smushing his little cheeks and leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead, leaving a pink smudge behind that left him giggling all over again.

Whispering down at him that she would never withhold treats from him, and sneaking him off to grab some more while his dad wasn’t looking.

Not realising that he was looking from his office, that gentle smile on his face to see his son so comfortable with someone else.

To be so comfortable with her.

Want more?! Good!

[ellecdc]

hi again tehe! can i request poly!marauders or poly!wolfstar (whichever you choose) with a reader who's touch starved? like she just really wants a hug and a night at home cuddled up with her boyfriends but she's afraid to ask 🥺🥺🥺 maybe they tell her she doesn't have to ask for anything like that, cue the hurt/comfort?? thank u so much if you do decide to do this babe!!

hi darling!!! so I took this in a bit of a direction (I hope you don't mind): touch starved reader who also happens to be James' sister and it's a secret relationship!! this was so fun - thanks for your request

poly!wolfstar x potter!sister reader

You didn’t even have a right to feel this way right now; this had been your idea.

The three of you had been hesitant to announce your...unique relationship to your friends on account of you being James’ sister. But it was you who had decided to keep your addition to the relationship a secret. You liked seeing Sirius and Remus out in public knowing that they were stealing furtive glances your way every so often. You especially liked the shared looks, the hidden touches, all of the intimate moments you had right in front of everyone that no one ever saw.

But today...today, it hurt.

You felt so unbelievably dejected all day, feeling as if you were crawling out of your skin with want. You wanted to be held, caressed, comforted, squeezed. 

But you were left having to wrap your own arms around yourself and hope for the best.

You’d gotten to the Great Hall and sat in your usual place across the table from Remus and Sirius, each of whom shared a soft smile and wink at you in a secret hello while James lamented about the Chudley Cannon’s most recent win. You felt someone’s foot – Remus’, if what you were feeling was indeed a pair of converse shoes and not Sirius’ Doc Martens – gently nudge your ankle and tried to let that be enough for now.

But it wasn’t enough, because immediately after dinner the gang all gathered together in the Gryffindor common room to set up for the party, and then immediately after that, you and the girls left to change, and by the time you were finished with that, the party was in full swing. 

So, you were sitting on a loveseat pushed up against your brother who was gesturing dramatically as he recounted the Marauders latest prank on Slytherin whilst your boyfriends sat across from you, Sirius’ head in Remus’ lap as Remus ran his fingers through the other boys’ hair, both of their eyes on James as they corrected various pieces of his story. And whilst this view would usually warm your heart or cause butterflies in your stomach, right now it filled you with grief and longing.

It wasn’t fair to even ask because it had been your idea, but why did it have to be you? Why were you the one who had to sit here and pine? The one who had to find ways to comfort themselves while affection was given and taken freely between the other two as often as their hearts desired.

And then you felt guilty because you were happy that they had this with each other. But you wanted it for you.

“Prongs! Do you wanna go see who might be interested in a round of truth or dare?” Sirius asked, interrupting James mid-sentence. You figured that if James a) hadn't been as tipsy as he currently was or b) didn’t really want to play truth or dare, Sirius’ interruption would have vexed him.

“Great idea, Pads.” He opted to say, jumping up to go ask partygoers who may be interested in a game.

“Come on.” He said to you quietly then, gesturing with his head for you to follow him and Remus up to their dorm.

You felt simultaneously overjoyed at the opportunity for alone time with your boyfriends, and nervous that you were about to get a scolding for your sulking.

You walked through the door and Remus closed it behind you as Sirius turned to give you a look laced with concern. “What’s the matter dolly? You seem far away.”

Your eyes welled and your sinuses filled painfully as you let out a whimper. “I’m sorry.” You moaned miserably.

Sirius look like you had ripped him in half as Remus rushed to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Awe, dovey.” He cooed. “What’s going on?”

“It’s silly.” You cried, tightening your hold around yourself as you looked to the floor in shame.

“It’s not silly if it has you this upset, baby girl. Please? What’s the matter?” Sirius begged, taking a step towards you.

“I...I just- ugh.” You tried, looking to the ceiling as if you could convince your tears to ebb through sheer determination.

“I just missed you guys today.” You said, sobbing halfway through your sentence.

“Oh, dovey.” Remus moaned commiseratively. He turned your body towards him and pulled you flush to his chest, and you were abashed at how quickly the tension left your body as you melted into his embrace. 

“Sweetheart.” Sirius called to you. His tone sounded like it wanted to be chiding, but it was too full of love to do much other than make you whimper in response. “You mean you’ve been feeling this sad all day because you wanted a hug?”

You were so unbelievably embarrassed, but you knew there was no point in lying so you nodded miserably into Remus’ chest.

Sirius scoffed. “Well, that just won’t do.” He stated as he came up behind you and hugged you awkwardly between him and Remus, causing you to chuckle wetly.

“It doesn’t have to be like this; you know that, right?” Remus murmured into your hair. “Pads and I are more than ready to tell James.”

“Been ready for far too long.” Sirius pouted behind you.

“I just...I don’t... I don’t know. I don’t want to tell him.” You argued.

“But I want to be able to hug my sweet girl whenever she needs a reminder of how loved she is.” Remus countered.

“And I want to snog you in front of the whole Great Hall so that they all know exactly who you come home to at night.” Sirius added.

You made a sound between a laugh and a groan as your burrowed impossibly further into Remus’ chest.

“James came first...” You admitted, voicing your greatest insecurity. “I don’t want him to have an influence on this. I don’t want to have to share this with him.”

Remus hummed in understanding, but you could feel Sirius shaking his head behind you.

“He’s already been sharing this with you, and you with him; he just hasn’t known he was.”

“He may be miffed at first, you’re right about that.” Remus conceded. “But that won’t change the way that Sirius and I treat you, and he won’t stay mad forever.”

“He’ll likely be the most miffed to find out we’ve been hiding this, quite frankly.” Sirius concluded.

You sniffled and rested your ear against Remus’ chest, listening to his heartbeat as he rubbed soothing circles into your back, and Sirius trailed his hands up and down your arms.

This is all you wanted, right here. You didn’t want your brother to know. Not yet. Because though you trusted Remus and Sirius, you knew that some things were bound to change once James found out.

“It hurts me too, not being able to reach out to take your hand at breakfast. To not be able to carry your books and walk you to all your classes.” Remus said.

Sirius hummed in agreement. “And I’ve wanted to punch every single bloke I’ve ever seen even look at you right in the mouth. And I can’t, because that would be weird, and it sucks.”

“We have to tell him eventually, dovey.” Remus pressed seriously. “I don’t want you feeling like this for a single moment longer.”

You groaned in protest, but you knew that it was futile. You were going to have to tell your brother, or he was going to find out. Either way, one day James Potter would know that his two best friends were dating his twin sister.

“Can we tell him tomorrow?” You yielded. Remus physically deflated and you heard Sirius sigh in relief.

“Oh, thank gods.” Sirius whispered.

“Thank you, dove. You’re so brave.” Remus said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

Had anyone else said that to you, you would have thought them to be patronizing. But you knew Remus truly meant what he said. 

“And just in case James does condemn me from the Potter Manor, I’ll just go stay with Moons.” Sirius said jovially.

You knew that would never happen, and you knew that Sirius knew that would never happen. Which meant he’d only said it so he could see you smile.

“I love you.” You said reverently as you lifted your head from Remus’ chest. “Both of you, so much.”

Remus smiled in adoration whilst Sirius looked proper chuffed with himself. “Still can’t believe a disowned blood traitor managed to land the two most perfect wix in all of Hogwarts.”

Remus snorted. “I still can’t believe this poor half-blood half-breed werewolf managed to pull two of the most wonderful wix in the school.” He countered.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “I can’t believe I ended up with such saps.”

“Oi!” Sirius barked at you whilst Remus sucked in a dramatic gasp.

“You little minx.” He growled at you before he pushed you backward onto the bed and laid his long body across the top of you. You groaned dramatically, pretending as if you were suffocating under Remus’ weight even though you could tell he was supporting himself in such a way to keep the brunt of his weight off of you, even though this is exactly what you’d been looking for only moments before.

“Sorry Pads, now you gotta go play truth or dare with Prongs while I coddle our poor girlie.”

Sirius scoffed indignantly. “Fine! But if I pick truth and someone asks me who the best snogger in Hogwarts is, I’m saying Y/N!” And with that, he fled the room. 

“You know what?” You said calmly. “If he lets it slip when neither of us are there, that means we don’t have to deal with the fall out.”

Remus chuckled and nosed affectionately at your cheek. “Fine by me.”

Fine by me, indeed.

[dustpages]

Entangled Feelings (Mina)

WC: 7.5k

It could have been either bless or a course, you didn't know yet. She was the only person you could call family, yet her demeanour was far off from what is the classic representation of a good parent.

Mina adopted you when you were still a child, you had no memories of your biological parents. 

You have had the best education she could afford to give you, and she wasn't even that bad as a person to be around while you were growing up. She was fun to be around and was her fun to play with you to video games during your spare time.

Yet Mina didn't renounce to hang out with her friends and go partying when they had the chance, you had seen her coming home more than a few times wasted, but nonetheless the day after she was always up before you preparing breakfast for you. 

You weren't blind, you had always known Mina was a drop-dead gorgeous woman. Attractive but cute, able to stay at home wearing a flannel pj for a long weekend and going out all decked out like she was about to strike everyone's heart, and surely she could do it.

When puberty hit you, it did hard. Your hormones were galloping like thoroughbred, especially thanks to Mina and her mini dress she used to wear when she was around the house, and she could tell the effect she had on you. During the the years some of her panties went missing, and weird stains on her tops; all of that was a fun game for her. She was teasing you all along, and you were powerless against her. 

It was Saturday afternoon, Ginza, Mina wanted to go shopping with you tagging along. You weren’t enjoying the experience in the slightest, you didn’t like trying on clothes and most of all you found it unfair to carry all items in the shopping bags Mina bought. 

“Come on stop whining, you are just carrying the few things I purchased like a man should do for his woman. Now let’s head to the Fendi store there’s a new bag I wanna look for, if you are gonna be a good boy I will treat you to tonight’s dinner in my favourite sushi place”

During the dinner, glass after glass of the finest Krug champaign, Mina removed her white heels and without anyone noticing started rubbing her right foot on your tights and then manoeuvred to your pelvis area.

Taken aback by her actions you felt stunned.

“ Bloody Nora, what are you doing?” You yelled-whispered 

“I am just getting started, this is your treat after all. You have been a good boy for your mum” She praised you continuing the massage on your lower area.

Blue balls are what you got in the end. Mina received a text from her friend Sana, who invited her to a private party in a disco in Roppongi.

“I’m gonna fetch Sana by taxi and then we will head to Roppongi, you should get home and bring the shopping bag safely home. Our  business will be postponed” she smiled 

Mina didn’t even bother to ask you if you wanted to join her and Sana. 

“ Are you gonna party dressed like that?” You complained 

“ Of course I am. What’s the point of being all decked out if I cannot show off? Are you afraid I can receive some attention because of my outfit?” She mischievously retorted 

“ Suddenly I see, what I could not see, so suddenly you are showing your true colour. What kind of married woman goes out wearing a mini-skirt to show off her bare legs?” You raised the tone of your voice.

“ Someone who wanna have fun, goodnight baby ” Mina raised her arm to call a taxi and in the blink of an eye, she went off.

Gobsmacked you got home an hour later, shattered for carrying all the bags you tossed on the sofa. 

“Fuck off, how can she have gone to that party dressed like a hoe” You complained on your own.

5:12 in the morning. That was the moment you heard someone stumbling up the stairs.

Mina managed to enter your bedroom and let herself fall on the bed, landing inevitably on you. Jolted awake you tried to move Mina from your body, but unlucky she had arms and legs spread wide open like a starfish.

“ For god sake Mina, can you move you are smashing me?” you demanded 

Mina repositioned herself above you with her legs around your belly and her arms straightened on your chest, in this way, you had the chance to look at her face. 

The red lipstick was all ruined, the black eyeliner was all dripped down. She stared into your eyes for a few seconds before lowering her face and trying to kiss you.

“ Never in a million years, I will let you kiss me with those filthy, dirty lips of yours; which god only knows what they have touched” You pushed her back and raised your torso sitting on the bed.

“ You have to think incredibly high of yourself to come here in my room after having had some kind of affair with someone a few hours ago” 

“ I might have indulged myself with two salesmen tonight but I’m not satisfied in the slightest, I am still horny and needy. Please me.” She said 

At this point, you stood up pushing Mina off of you. You went berserk, the audacity she had to cheat on your father and the family's trust. Might have been the alcohol, might have been the natural bitchy demeanour, but you couldn’t bear to look at her so pretentious and bratty so you swiftly but not too harshly slapped her on her left cheek.

“ I don’t want a hoe in my house. What you did tonight is daunting to process. I am gonna sleep in the tatami room, you can stay here or wherever you like but stay away from me” You didn’t even look at her

As you were about to leave the bedroom.“ Your father knows it, he gave me his permission. I can prove it.”

“Stop it already. I don’t give a flying fuck if my father allowed you to be a free spirit while he is away. I can’t stand to live under the same roof with someone who acts as you do” This was your cue to leave 

Morning came, and you woke up with your lower back soaring due to not being used to sleeping on the floor. Mina entered the tatami room wearing a pair of trousers and a crop top T-shirt. “I am so sorry for my demeanour about last night, I shouldn’t have come to your room in the first place, let alone tell you about my night out. What can I do to make it up for you?”

“Don’t go and fuck around like a whore, you should be better than that. When Dad told me about your needs and that it was my new duty to help you with that I felt ecstatic, now I could have the chance to have sex with the woman I have been obsessed with for the last few months. Still, I was unsure about myself. I am not gifted as my father is down there and I have no experience.” You looked down

Mina closed the gap between you two and raised your chin with her right hand. “ I’ll not joke around the dimensions are not important but they are not paramount, if you know how to use your body you’ll have no problem at all. Plus from what I have seen you don’t seem so small either. I can teach you, and you can please me. It’s a win-to-win situation.” Mina softly kissed you on the cheeks.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch but I have been so horny since your dad left, it's so frustrating, so now, we are gonna have the first lesson if you don’t mind. I'll squeeze you dry until I'm satisfied". "Now, just take them off~" she sighed as you bit her neck. You put your hand into her trousers.

 "Don't rush into it" she whispered, she grabbed your hand and put it on her breast. Her tits aren't huge, but still satisfyingly handful. You slipped off your T-shirt, throwing it to the side. You leaned forward, kissing her breast through her bra, your hands worked their way up, slowly pulling her bra up. 

Your lips teased her breast, biting as she moaned. Your hands trailed down her hips, into her trousers, going right to her underwear.

Mina’s pussy was soaking wet, the love juice pouring onto my thighs like honey. You kneeled and helped Mina to remove her trousers and underwear. Inserting two fingers into her hole "Yabai" she moaned, as your fingers curled inside of her. She moved her hips down, pushing your fingers deeper into her pussy. Your pace quickened a third finger was adamant to be shoved in Mina’s fold. Her walls were closing around them, her hands pulled your hair causing your head to throb. You did not stop, increasing your pace, her pussy walls continued tightening as her body suddenly shook. She came as more of her pussy juice gushed onto the floor galore, shaking like a leaf during a tornado. She placed her hands on your head trying to stand still, as her orgasm subdued you removed your fingers from her womb and gave taste to her juice.

“You know it tastes like honey.” You stood up and not so gently pushed Mina on the tatami mattress. 

“Now go on. Fuck me.” Mina spread her legs and arms, waiting for you to put it in. You aligned yourself with her entrance, pushing in slightly. There was some resistance, but you could push past it and inside. You felt Mina’s pussy stretching to accommodate you. Mina’s walls pushed against your cock, and you both moaned. Mina’s cunt was tight and wet. You pushed in more. Without  further ado, no time to adjust was given to Mina’s walls, you rammed her pussy like a maniac, grabbing her hips and pushing her towards you.

Various positions were tried, fluids of all genres soaked the tatami mattress, and curses and blasphemies were yelled. Half a dozen of used condoms were scattered near the wall.

“Mina I cannot take anymore, I am about to cum” Mina kept riding you like she was trying to win a race at Ascot.

“Don’t come yet, I am about to. You have to pleasure Mommy once more.” Mina arched her back backwards as she rode her climax out, and then collapsed on your chest. Swiftly you helped Mina off of you and you removed your condom.

“Suck me off like you mean it Mina” Mina placed her lips above your member and bobbed her head up and down swirling her tongue around the tip. With your hands you pushed Mina’s head against your crotch even more, engulfing your penis in her throat. And within a few more minutes you coated Mina’s mouth in white, and as talented as she was not a single drop of jizz went out of her mouth.

With a resounding pop, Mina removed her lips from your member. “ You aren’t bad at all for a newbie. With my training, you will become perfect”

As both of you stood up, you abruptly pinned Mina to the wall almost choking her. “ No more fucking around you get me Miss. You have me now.” 

“ This is the possessive little boy I want. Fuck me like you did this morning or better and I have no reasons to look for any other man.” She smirked and rolled her tongue teasing you. 

It was a Friday late afternoon, you were climbing the stairs to go to your room. Passing by Mina's room you saw a multitude of clothes scattered on the floor, and Mina was in front of her mirror trying on the umpteenth outfit.

" Nope.. It's not hot enough" She commented about the outfit she was wearing. 

She looked up and noticed you entering the room.

" Come here, you need to pick what dress I should wear tonight"

You stood in front of Mina. " And why should I pick the dress? I'm not your boyfriend"

Mina's smile was like the sun breaking through the clouds on a rainy day. " Well, you might not be my boyfriend but you are my son, and your opinion matters. So come on, what dress do you want to see on me tonight?"

You felt a bit awkward, but she had put you in a situation in which you couldn't say no. So, you started trying various dresses on her. It took a good half an hour to find the right one. The final pick was a silver glowing top which left her back totally exposed , a leather skirt with black stockings and leather boots. You were feeling uneasy but you couldn't say no to Mina.

" So you really wanna wear that?" You asked Mina for the third time.

" Yes, I really wanna wear this. Now I wanna see how you wanna dress up tonight." Mina said.

" Me? Why should I dress up? I've never been told to go clubbing tonight." You retorted. 

"  Didn't I tell you that I'm inviting you out tonight with me and my friends?" Mina questioned. 

" No, you didn't." You said.

" Well, I'm inviting you. We will have so much fun together!" Mina's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

You were stunned. " I don't want to go clubbing, it's not my thing." You protested.

" Oh, you need to go with me and have fun. Come on, say yes, pleeease?" She begged you with her puppy dog eyes.

You couldn't resist her begging. " Fine. Let's get this over with." You gave up.

" Yay!" Mina shouted. " Now let's choose your outfit for tonight!" 

The next hour was a disaster, Mina was trying on different outfits on you like you were a mannequin. You didn't like it but you didn't want to make her angry. Mina decided you had to wear a black skinny jeans with a white tight T-shirt and a pair of sneakers. She had picked you up a brand new pair of black skinny jeans and she helped you to wear it. Her hands were feeling your body as she was checking if the fit was perfect.

"These jeans are too thight, I can't move my legs" You complained in front of your mirror. 

" It's fine, you look perfect, they aren't that skinny, you can move around, and you can wear it tonight" Mina insisted.

 You decided to not fight her, after all she had already won. She was the one leading this game.

Mina drove you to the club, you were feeling a bit anxious. You had never been to a club like this before and you were feeling out of place. Mina got out of her car and came to open your door for you.

" Come on, let's go inside!" She said with her signature smile.

Inside the club, the lights were flashing everywhere and the music was blasting your eardrums. The people were dancing as if they were possessed, it was like an inferno.

" This is insane!" You yelled to Mina.

" Isn't it? Come on let's go to the VIP area!" She shouted back.

Mina pulled you through the crowd, you felt like you were gonna pass out due to the heat. The VIP area was less crowded but still quite hot. Mina's friends were there already drinking and dancing.

" Here you are!" Mina shouted to them. " This is my son!"

Mina's friends were quite peculiar. You would expect a woman to have more female friends than males, here wasn't the case. In the group there were 4 girls, Mina included, and 6 men. 

All of them stared at you two with weird looks, Mina was the most shining star in the all universe and you were just an average young boy.

Her friends welcomed you two and one of her male friends came to Mina and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

" I'm so happy to see you. I've missed you." He whispered in Mina's ear. 

Mina was blushing a bit. " I'm glad to see you too! This is my son, isn't he cute?" Mina said and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Her male friend was taken aback by her question. " Yeah, whatever. I don't really care about him, you know who I am focused on" He said biting his lips.  

You didn't really like how he was acting, he was too flirtatious and Mina was playing with him like a cat with a mouse. 

You didn't care for her flirting, it was her life and you knew she wasn't gonna stop, you were a bit jealous but you were trying to ignore it.

Mina was getting a drink for her, and she asked you if you wanted one too. You refused, she pouted a bit but then she shrugged and took a sip of her drink. It didn't take long for her to start dancing, and her male friend joined her soon after.

They danced for a while, Mina was really moving her hips and her friend was getting more and more close to her. You were feeling more and more uneasy, the more they were dancing, the more he was getting close to her. You didn't know what to do, you felt like you needed to protect Mina from this creep but he was a friend of her and she was enjoying his company. 

 You didn't know what to do. 

" I think I'm gonna go outside for a bit.” You said to one of Mina's friends who were remaining at the table.

You didn't bother to wait for an answer and you went to the outside. You needed some fresh air, you were feeling like you were gonna faint. You didn't know how to process the feelings that were rising in your chest. You had always known Mina was a woman with her needs and her life, but seeing her like that made you feel weird. You didn't know if you were jealous or possessive of her, or maybe it was another reason why you felt this way. You just knew you needed some fresh air and a bit of time alone to think.

After 15 minutes you went back inside the club, Mina and her friend were still dancing and they were even closer than before, her arms were around his neck and he had his on her waist.  You felt like a dagger was piercing your heart, you couldn't watch Mina and this man dancing anymore. You needed to get away from there.

You went to Mina and her friend who had his head on Mina's cheek. " Come on Mina. I know you like me, if not we wouldn't have been dancing for a while now. Don't be a prick tease" He said to Mina.  

Mina laughed off, at that moment you went to her and stated that you were about to go home because you weren't feeling well.    

" I can go home by cab if you need to keep staying here. I've already called one indeed." You affirmed biting your tongue.  

" Oh, I don't like to leave you alone. I will go with you then" Mina said to you. 

" There is no need. You are having fun obviously and I am not feeling like staying here, I don't want to be a burden to you." You bowed and proceeded towards the exit of the club.   

  The fresh air immediately helped you to relax a bit,  you felt a bit better now that you weren't inside that hellhole anymore. You heard the sound of Mina's heels getting closer and closer to you, you didn't turn around, you kept looking at the traffic.

" What's the matter?" Mina asked you once she got near you.

" As far as I'm concerned I've already informed you about what I am about to do, so your presence here is utterly pointless Mina" You scoffed. 

" Why are you being like this?" Mina asked you, her voice was a bit softer than usual.

" Never mind. Look a cab is coming here" You stepped forward and raised your arm.  " Good night Mina. See you tomorrow"

The cab arrived and you went inside, you didn't look back at Mina once.

You went straight to your room as soon as you arrived home, you were feeling like shit and you wanted to be alone. Your head was spinning and you felt like boiling, luckily you were able to plop on your bed before you passed out due to the high fever.

The next morning, you woke up with the most horrible headache and your fever had risen even more. Mina was there beside your bed with a thermometer in her hand. She was wearing a white satin nightgown and her hair was untied.

" Good morning! How are you feeling today?" Mina asked you with a gentle smile.

" I feel terrible" You whispered your voice was hoarse and your head was pounding. 

Mina put her hand on your forehead, she felt your temperature. " Oh my poor boy, you are burning up"

" Don't pity me now, when last night you were all over your fucking friend." You said.  

" Oh, my son, you are so cute when you're jealous" Mina pouted her lips. 

You glared at her, you were feeling so angry you couldn't think straight. You didn't know why you were feeling so possessive of her, but you just felt like you needed to protect her from everything and everyone. 

"Please tell me you didn't fuck him last night" You pleaded. 

" Of course not! You are such a stupid boy. He isn't even the type of man I would go out with." Mina said and you felt relieved.

Mina got up and went to your bathroom. She came back with a glass of water and a pill. 

" Here take this, it will help you to reduce the fever."

You took the glass from her hand, she helped you sit up so you could drink it. You swallowed the pill down and gave Mina back the glass. She sat on the bed beside you and caressed your head.

" I'm so sorry if I made you feel like this. You know you are the only one I care about, right?" She said.

You nodded and she wrapped her arm around you pulling you close. You felt like you were gonna die of fever but you were so happy Mina was holding you that it didn't even matter.

Mina helped you to take off your clothes and she tucked you in, she didn't leave your side once during that whole day. She fed you and bathed you, she was taking care of you like a mother should do with her child. You felt so loved and grateful to have her as your mum. 

Mina took a week off from work to keep an eye on you. " Mina thank you for being here for me" You said.  

" Anytime for my son. I am so sorry again for the other night. I promise you that you are the only one I care about in this world" She said to you and kissed your forehead. 

" I'm feeling better now" You stated. " Sucking your tits would make me feel even better" 

 You smiled.

Mina chuckled. "  You are such a horny boy"

She moved her lips closer to yours, and you wrapped your arms around her waist and pulled her to you. You started kissing her neck and you could feel her breath quickening. You pulled off her T-shirt and her bra and your hands went straight to her breasts. She was moaning louder as your lips went down to her nipples. You licked them, sucking and nibbling them softly. You moved your hands to her shorts, unzipping them and pulling them off of her. She was completely naked, you couldn't resist anymore. You pulled down her panties and pushed two of your fingers inside her pussy. You felt her juices dripping on your fingers.

She moaned louder, you knew she was close, but you wanted to make her cum even harder. You moved your fingers faster and you could feel her pussy walls tightening around your fingers, she was cumming and you felt her pussy squirting her juices everywhere. You didn't stop, you kept moving your fingers and she kept cumming until she fell on your chest panting. 

She smiled at you, she was so happy and content. You kissed her softly and she giggled.

" You are such a horny boy" She whispered. " But you are my horny boy" 

"Let me rest tonight and tomorrow I'll fuck the shit out of you"  You promised her.  She nodded and went to her room. You fell asleep with a smile on your face, you were so happy to have Mina as your mother. You knew you would do anything for her.  You were so in love with her. You knew that your feelings weren't right but you just couldn't help it. You loved her for the person she was. You knew that you would always protect her and love her no matter what. 

The next day Mina woke you up kissing your collar bone.  You opened your eyes and looked at her. She was wearing a black satin robe with nothing underneath. Her hair was down and her makeup was light.

" Good morning. How are you feeling?" She asked you. 

" I'm feeling great. I need to fuck you." You answered.

Mina smiled and crawled on the bed to your feet. She started to pull down your boxers, revealing your cock. It was hard and ready for her.

" Oh my, look at this. Looks like someone needs a blowjob" She giggled. 

She bent down and started sucking your cock. She was moaning and groaning with her mouth full of your cock. You watched her as she was sucking you. You were so turned on by watching her. You held her hair back so you could see her better. She was swirling her tongue on the tip of your cock, you were so close to cumming. She kept sucking and moaning until you exploded in her mouth. You watched as she swallowed all of your cum. 

" That was delicious. I can taste your love" She smiled and kissed you. You felt her tongue against yours and you could feel your cum in her mouth.

" I want you" You mumbled liking her ear lobe.  " I need you" You pleaded with her.

Mina laughed and lay down on the bed. She spread her legs for you and you knew this was it. You moved between her legs and she pulled you on top of her. You felt her hands moving on your lower back as you entered her. You felt her pussy stretching around you. You felt like you were in heaven. She moaned louder and louder as you started moving inside of her. You could feel her pussy walls closing around you. You were moving faster and faster inside of her and you could feel her juices dripping on your balls. You were getting close but you didn't want to stop. You kept moving and groaning until you felt her cumming underneath you. You felt her pussy squirting everywhere and you withdrew your cock and with the head, you rubbed her clit.  You watched as she was cumming even harder. You could see her juices dripping on her legs and your cock. You felt her shivering underneath you and you knew you should stop.

" Mina, do you want me to stop?"  You asked. 

" Please don't. I'm so close to another orgasm" She pleaded. 

You shoved your length inside her womb and grabbing her legs to have more grip, you plowed in her pussy mercilessly.  Mina was moaning and screaming as loud as she could. You could feel her juices dripping on your balls as she was cumming once more. You felt her pussy walls tightening around you as she was squirting even more. You were so close to cumming but you didn't want to stop. You kept moving inside of her and moaning. 

" Mina, I'm about to cum"  You said.

" Please fill me up. I want to feel you inside of me" She begged.

Your hips were in overdrive. With a few more thrusts you filled her womb with your cum.  You felt your cock throbbing inside her as your seed filled her pussy. You watched as she was cumming once more. You could see her juices dripping on her legs and your cock. You felt her shivering underneath you pulled out of her and laid down beside her.

" I love you Mina"  You whispered.

" I love you too my horny boy. You are mine from now on baby boy” She smiled.

————————————————————————————————————————

Mina was beautiful it was obvious to you but today was entirely different. She had chosen a black leather jacket and a tight, sexy jeans skirt. Her top was a tight jeans piece of fabric that hugged her curves perfectly and showed off the swell of her breasts. To finish it all, she wore white heels accentuating her long legs.

Her hair cascaded down her shoulders flawlessly and her makeup was spot-on. She looked like a million quid! But what caught your attention was how well she carried herself. An air of confidence about her made you weak in the knees.

All of that preparation to attend a concert on the first row, with me trailing behind her. King Gnu were her group of choice.

King Gnu, the band was known for its unique music. The lead singer Daiki Tsuneda was an average guy, you would have never paid attention to him on the street if you had run into him. But the moment he stepped onto that stage, something about him changed. He oozed confidence and charisma. The crowd was entranced by him. Mina, too.

Mina was dancing to the music, her skirt rising higher with each movement. She was a sight to behold in her sexy outfit, dancing seductively, her body moving to the rhythm of the music. And she was enjoying the show, her eyes were glued to Daiki. She looked at him with a look of pure lust. She was in a trance and she didn't even notice you staring at her. 

Daiki during a particular song decided to go down the stage and into the crowd,  Mina's eyes widened in anticipation. You felt a sense of jealousy creeping into your heart. He was playing on the edge of the crowd and he looked like he was in a daze, like he was entranced by the crowd.  He was looking right at Mina and she was staring at him. You watched in awe as they locked eyes for a moment. You could see the spark of attraction between them. 

Mina looked like she was about to melt under his gaze and you felt a pang of jealousy. The song ended and he moved on, but he kept looking at her, even as he was performing for the crowd, you saw his eyes wandering back to her. Mina looked like she was in a trance, her body swaying to the music, her eyes locked on Daiki. 

She looked like she was under his spell like he could make her do anything he wanted. The concert ended and Mina clapped enthusiastically. She turned to you and you could see that she was flushed. "That was amazing! Did you enjoy the concert? Oh my god, he is so hot. I am so wet just watching him." She squealed. You felt a pang of jealousy.

"Let's get out of here," she said and took your hand, dragging you towards the exit. You trailed behind her, her hand holding yours tightly. She was in a hurry and you stumbled behind her, trying to catch up. She stopped at a corner and looked around before pulling you into a small alleyway. "I need to feel your cock in my pussy. I am so wet and horny just thinking about Daiki." She said, her voice breathless and husky. She pressed herself against the wall and pulled you towards her. She spread her legs, revealing her wet panties. 

" Are you pretending me to fuck you in this filthy and miserable place while you are so wet thinking to that singer?" You questioned. 

"  Yes, I need it. I need to feel your cock in me. I am so wet. Please baby, I am begging you" She pleaded, her voice cracking. You saw the desperation in her eyes and it made you weak for a second.

" Me fucking you while you are picturing having sex with that singer, won't happen. Never in a million years" You laughed and stepped back. 

 She looked crestfallen and her face fell. " Don't tell me you don't want me." She said, her voice small. 

" Of course I do, you are bloody sexy today. But you need to understand that a no is no, even for someone like you" You said mocking her.  

She looked at you for a moment and then she smirked. " Fine, I will go find someone who wants to fuck me. I am so wet for you, but you don't want me. I'll find someone else." She said and turned to walk away. 

" Go ahead, you are just bluffing. You wouldn't dare to do that." You laughed and crossed your arms across your chest. She turned around and glared at you. 

" Watch me," She said and stormed off. You laughed and followed her, wondering what she would dare to do.

 She walked through the crowd, her eyes scanning the faces. You could see her sizing men up and discarding them. She was finicky about her partners, and anything regarding her life.  You followed her, amused at the scene. She finally stopped in front of a man and looked him up and down. She smiled and you could see her confidence in full bloom. 

" Are you looking for a good time?" She asked him, her voice husky and seductive. The man's eyes widened and he looked her up and down.

" I beg you pardon ma'am. I'm not sure to have understood what you said." He retorted politely.  Mina pouted. 

" Don't be shy. I want to fuck. Are you in?" She said, her voice confident. The man looked at her in surprise and then nodded. 

You had fun enough and it was time to stop her show,  you tapped the man on the shoulder. " Sorry, she is busy, my apologies." You said and pulled Mina by the elbow. She struggled to free herself but you were stronger. 

" You cannot stop me. I am a grown woman and I can do whatever I want" She said and struggled even more. 

" Sure you can, but I'm quite confident you will follow my lead now" You retorted and kept dragging her.  You heard the man saying " It's okay, I understand" and Mina let out a frustrated groan. 

In a swift motion you lifted her over your shoulder like you would do with a sack of potatoes. She  kicked and screamed in a way a child would do but you didn't budge.  

You reached the car and opened the door. You set Mina on the backseat and she crossed her arms and legs. 

" You are a brute and a jerk, you know that?" She spat out. 

" I might have been abrupt but not a brut." You laughed.  

" You cannot dictate to me what to do, I am not a child." She pouted.

" I adore you when you act like this" You said. 

 She glared at you. 

" I hate you!" She screamed.

" We both know that's not true." You smiled and kissed her forehead. She looked at you like she wanted to rip your head off. 

" I am going to make you regret this!" She threatened. 

You laughed and kissed her forehead again. " I am looking forward to it." You said and closed the car door, driving back home. Mina was silent all the drive home, her arms and legs crossed. You could see the anger in her eyes. You could sense her seething, and you were glad about it. It made you feel powerful to see her so angry. 

The moment you entered your house, she jumped off the car and ran towards the house, slamming the door shut. You parked the car and entered the house, following the sound of her footsteps. She had locked herself in the bedroom. You knocked on the door and waited. 

She opened the door and glared at you. " Leave me alone!" She screamed.

" Are you done throwing your tantrum?" You asked, amused. 

She looked at you like she wanted to kill you. " You have no idea how angry I am." She spat out. 

You nodded and started to undress and when you had only you boxer on you looked at Mina. 

" Take off your clothes." You ordered her. 

 She glared at you. 

" Are you kidding me?" She retorted. 

" I am dead serious." You said and she glared at you for a moment before she crossed her arms and legs. 

" I won't take off my clothes, you cannot force me." She said, her voice petulant. 

" Mina, I can see your nipples through your shirt, you are aroused and you want my cock in you." You said, your voice husky. 

" No, I am not." She said, but you could see the blush rising on her cheeks. 

" Don't lie Mina, I can see through your lies." You said and walked towards her. She glared at you and she tried to run away from you, but you were quicker and you caught her. You held her against your body, feeling her curves. She struggled to free herself, but you held her tightly. 

You lowered your lips to hers and kissed her deeply. You could taste her arousal on her lips. You could feel her heart beating fast against your chest. She struggled for a moment and then she gave in, kissing you back passionately. You could feel your cock throbbing against her body and you knew she could feel it too. 

" Still mad Mina?" You asked.  

 She moaned and you could hear the need in her voice. She was so horny, it made you laugh. You held her against your body and walked towards the bed. You threw her on it and she bounced a bit before looking at you. You undressed her and threw her clothes on the floor. She was left in nothing but her bra and panties. You admired her body, her curves, her skin, everything about her was perfect. 

You kneeled in front of her and removed her panties, spreading her legs open. She looked at you with desire in her eyes. You could smell her arousal and you knew she wanted your tongue on her pussy. You teased her for a bit, rubbing your hands on the outside of her pussy, and then you licked her clit. She moaned loudly and you could feel her body shivering under your touch. 

You sucked her clit into your mouth, making her moan even louder. You could feel her pussy tightening around your fingers. You knew she was close to cumming. You rubbed her clit with your tongue and you could feel her pussy spasm. She came hard, screaming in pleasure. 

You stood up and removed your boxers. Your cock was throbbing with desire. You positioned yourself between her legs and aligned your cock to her entrance. 

" Tell what you want me to do" You smirked.  

She looked at you with lust in her eyes. " Please, please fuck me!" She begged. 

" Where do you want me to fuck you?" You teased. 

She looked at you and you could see the frustration in her eyes. 

" In my pussy, you stupid brat!" She screamed. 

You laughed and entered her slowly, watching her face. She was beautiful in her pleasure. You started fucking her slowly, watching her body move under yours. She was moaning and panting, her legs wrapped around your waist. You fucked her slowly, feeling her pussy tightening around you. 

" Harder, please, harder!" She moaned. 

You obliged, grabbing her hips in your hand  and pounding into her. Her screams of pleasure were loud and clear. You could feel your orgasm approaching. You fucked her harder, feeling her pussy tightening around you even more. She came again, screaming loudly. You felt your orgasm approaching and you came hard, filling her pussy with your cum. 

You collapsed on the bed, holding Mina in your arms. She looked at you with a satisfied smile. " I guess I deserved that" She said. 

" Yes, you did" You retorted and she pouted. 

" Are you still mad?" You asked. 

She shook her head. " Not anymore" She said and you kissed her forehead. 

" Good, because I am not done with you yet." You said and she smiled. You kissed her deeply. 

You rolled her over, made her lying on her stomach.  You stood up and positioned yourself in between her legs. She spread them open, her pussy wet and gaping wide for you. You slapped your cock against her ass cheeks and she giggled. 

 You teased her entrance for a moment and then you shoved yourself inside her. She moaned loudly, arching her back.

You fucked her slowly, watching her ass moving under your thrusts. You could feel her pussy tightening around your cock. 

" Harder!" She demanded. 

You hold your grip on her ass cheeks and sped up your pace,  pounding into her. She screamed in pleasure.

" Take it Mina, good girl."  You said. 

She moaned and you could feel her pussy spasming. She was close. You fucked her harder, feeling your orgasm approaching. 

" Cum for me baby." You demanded. 

She did. She screamed loudly, her pussy milking your cock. You came hard, filling her pussy with your cum again.

You pulled out and she turned around looking at you,  a smile on her face. You held out your hand and helped her up. She stood in front of you, your cum dripping out of her pussy. She smirked and wiped her pussy with her fingers, tasting it. 

You laughed and kissed her. " You are something else, you know that?" You said. 

She nodded. " I know. Now, what do you want to do?" She asked, rubbing her hands on your chest. 

" Shower first then we will see"  You retorted. 

She nodded and walked towards the bathroom. You followed her, watching her ass move as she walked. You couldn't help but smack it. She looked over her shoulder and smirked. " Oh, that is how you want to play huh?" She teased. 

You grinned and followed her into the bathroom. The water was already running. You entered the shower and grabbed Mina's waist. She leaned against you, her ass pushing against your cock. 

" Mina we should shower and then sleep. Tomorrow I want to go to the beach with you" You whispered in her ear softly.  

She nodded and turned around looking at you. " Yes, that sounds lovely. Let's shower and then sleep."

You nodded and she started washing your body, her hands rubbing your chest and arms. You smiled and did the same with her body. She giggled and you could feel her body shivering under your touch. You washed her hair and she leaned against your chest, moaning softly. You turned off the water and grabbed two towels. You handed her one and dried yourself with the other. 

" It is better if we sleep in my room, the bed sheets in your room are not clean at all." You laughed.  

" I know, I made a mess on my bed" She smiled.  

You nodded and handed her a T-shirt and a pair of panties. " Here wear these." You said. 

She nodded and put them on. You did the same and then you went to your room. She climbed on the bed and you followed her. You held her against your chest and she smiled. " Goodnight baby" She whispered. 

" Goodnight Mina" You whispered back and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes and you watched her fall asleep. You smiled and kissed her forehead again. She was perfect and she was all yours. You had her and she had you. You could feel her heart beating against your chest and you smiled, she was yours. Forever 

[meazalykov]

thanks for your help

kika nazareth x platonic!aitana bonmati x reader

summary: aitana does you a huge favor

after two seasons at barcelona, you had finally found your rhythm. adjusting to a new city, a new club, and a new pace thanks to aitana.

she had taken you in when you transferred from psg, and now, she was like the big sister you never had. she had been there for you through it all—whether it was the pressures of the game or the simple moments off the pitch. the two of you spent countless evenings together, whether it was eating out or at her place with her girlfriend, the christmas when you didn’t fly home being one of your favorite memories.

aitana’s home was warm, welcoming, and filled with love, the way her girlfriend looked after you both like family.

that bond grew even deeper when you were there to witness one of her biggest achievements—the ballon d’or. you’d never forget that night. watching aitana step onto the stage, the joy in her eyes, your chest swelled with pride. 

you clapped until your hands hurt. she deserved every bit of that recognition. afterward, at the celebration dinner, aitana had pulled you aside and hugged you tightly.

when you played benfica in the champions league towards the end of the 23/24 season, your thoughts were far from distractions. at least, that was until you noticed one of benfica’s players during warmups—a girl whose presence seemed to command the pitch. kika nazareth. 

even from a distance, she stood out. there was something about her—the way she carried herself, her confidence, her undeniable talent. she was beautiful, that much was clear, but you weren’t the type to let yourself get carried away by a crush, especially with football at the forefront of your mind.

after the match, as you walked back to the locker room, something caught your eye—aitana, talking animatedly with kika, laughing like they had known each other for years. you blinked in surprise, wondering how aitana knew her. curiosity getting the best of you, you approached them hesitantly.

"oh! y/n, come here," aitana called out when she spotted you, a smile on her face as she gestured for you to join them. 

"i want you to meet kika."

you swallowed the nervous lump in your throat, stepping closer to them. kika turned her attention to you, her eyes sparkling with amusement as aitana continued, 

"y/n, this is kika. kika, this is y/n."

“nice to meet you,” kika said, her voice smooth, playful even, as she extended her hand. instead of the quick handshake you expected, her fingers lingered against yours, sending a jolt of warmth up your arm. 

“i’ve heard a lot about you.”

you felt your cheeks heat up, the sudden rush of shyness catching you off guard. 

“uh, yeah, nice to meet you too,” you mumbled, glancing between kika and aitana.

"oh, she’s cute when she’s shy," kika teased, a grin tugging at the corner of her lips. she didn’t let go of your hand right away, and the contact made your heart race faster than any match had.

aitana chuckled, clearly amused by the entire situation. 

“y/n is never this shy. i wonder what’s going on.”

you tried to laugh it off, but your voice came out weaker than you intended. after exchanging a few more pleasantries, you and aitana headed back to the locker room. as you both walked in silence for a moment, aitana nudged your arm with her elbow, a teasing smile still on her lips.

“you okay?”

“yeah,” you replied quickly, maybe too quickly.

aitana raised an eyebrow. 

“you sure? because i’ve never seen you get that shy around someone before. you like her, don’t you?”

you hesitated, then shrugged. 

“maybe… i think i might.”

aitana’s grin widened. 

“i knew it!” 

“how do you know her?” you asked, trying to steer the conversation away from your flustered state.

“mutual friends,” she answered, her tone casual but her smirk suggested she knew more than she was letting on. 

“i can put you on to her, you know.”

you laughed, shaking your head. 

“sure, if you think it’ll work.”

what you didn’t know was that kika was already planning on moving to barcelona at the end of the season. aitana knew, of course, but she decided not to tell you just yet, figuring it’d be more fun to let things unfold naturally.

when the new season came and kika officially joined the team, it didn’t take long for you to feel the pull between you two. she was outgoing, charming, and effortlessly funny, which made it easy to be friends despite your initial nervousness. 

you were the same age, which helped a lot, and with aitana in the mix, you spent more and more time together on and off the pitch.

one day after training, aitana cornered you with that same mischievous smile. 

"so, when are you going to tell kika how you feel?"

you blinked, taken aback by the sudden question. 

“what? it’s too early for that.”

aitana crossed her arms, giving you a knowing look. 

“too early, huh? i don’t think so. besides, she feels the same way.”

your eyes widened in surprise. 

“wait, how do you know that?”

aitana’s smirk faltered for a second as she realized she had slipped up. 

“uh… well, I mean, I just… you know, I have my ways.”

you stared at her, speechless. 

“you’ve known this whole time?”

aitana shrugged, grinning like a cat who received churu. 

“oops?”

weeks later, at a dinner with aitana, ingrid, mapi, esmee, frido, and ellie, you found yourself sitting beside kika. it was one of those cozy evenings where the conversation flowed easily, laughter filling the air. 

the restaurant had benches instead of chairs, and at some point during the night, kika casually placed her hand on your knee. the gesture was so natural, so intimate, that it took you a moment to realize what was happening.

you felt a flutter of nerves in your stomach, but at the same time, you didn’t want her to move her hand. you glanced at her, trying to keep your expression neutral, but you knew your face must have been giving you away. 

kika, on the other hand, acted like nothing was out of the ordinary, continuing to joke with the group as if she wasn’t driving you a little crazy with her touch.

just as you were starting to relax, your phone buzzed. it was your mom, calling from home. you excused yourself and went outside to take the call, the cool evening air helping to calm your nerves.

the call lasted longer than expected—almost twenty minutes. when you finally hung up, you turned around to see kika standing in the doorway, concern in her eyes.

"everything okay?" she asked, stepping closer to you.

you nodded, trying to steady your breath. 

“yeah, just my mom checking in.”

kika studied you for a moment, her gaze softer than usual. 

“you look beautiful tonight, by the way.”

her words caught you off guard, and you glanced down at your outfit—simple levi jeans and a brown cashmere sweater. 

“thanks,” you replied, your voice quieter. “you look beautiful too.”

there was a pause, the air between you thick with something unspoken. kika stepped closer, her hand brushing yours as she looked into your eyes. 

“i… i can’t keep this in anymore. i really like you, y/n. more than a friend.”

your heart skipped a beat, the confession sending your mind into a whirl. “i… i like you too,” you admitted, feeling the weight of the moment between you both.

without another word, you both leaned in, your lips meeting in a soft, tender kiss. it was slow, sweet, filled with all the emotions that had been building for months. 

when you pulled back, you shared a shy smile, the world around you fading as the connection between you deepened.

“we should probably head back inside, its chilly” you whispered, though neither of you moved right away.

back inside, you and kika sat closer than before, your legs brushing under the table as you rejoined the group. you pretended like nothing had happened, but aitana’s sharp eyes didn’t miss the way you were now sitting practically glued to kika’s side.

later, as you dropped aitana off at her place, she turned to you with a grin. 

"so… you and kika?"

you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. 

“yeah, we’re dating now. thanks to you."

aitana laughed, leaning back in her seat. "i knew it. you're welcome!"

“yeah ha, thanks for your help!”

masterlist

[exhaslo]

Puzzle Pieces Ch.7

(Mafia!Miguel x Shy!Reader)

Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch.4, Ch.5, Ch6

Warning: Eventual Smut so Minors DNI, mentions of abuse, blood, murder, language, fluff, bullying, mentions of sex

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been far too long. Far too long since you've stayed alone with a man overnight. Your nerves were kicking in as you kept thinking about staying over at Miguel's place. You knew that he would never take advantage of you, but the nerves. The nerves wouldn't go away nor stop the thoughts.

Unable to stop shaking, you gasped as you dropped the order you were wrapping on the floor. Prepared to be yelled at, you shrunk and covered your ears. To your surprise, none of your coworkers yelled at you. They just quickly made another order and had to wrap it for them again.

You apologized and redid the wrapping, glancing around. You've seen these guys scream and yell at each other whenever someone fucks up. How come they didn't do it to you? Recalling Miguel, you started to wonder if he had a hand in this. Miguel was a regular and someone who did use the supermarket for something else that you still didn't know.

Could he have said something?

Playing with your sleeves, you tried to calm down. Could Miguel have said something to your bosses? The thought did make your heart flutter. How much was this man going to take care of you? You needed to find a way to return the favor.

"(Y/N), go take a break." Your Supervisor told you. You flinched and nodded,

"S-Sorry," You whimpered, hurrying off to the breakroom.

Right as you left, your Supervisor exhaled loudly and walked over to the small seating area in front of the deli. He placed a sandwich in front of a woman holding a newspaper.

"You got patience. I could never sit and watch someone for eight hours a day."

"That's why I got hired," Jessica said, lowering her paper, "You and I both know it isn't going to last forever. Miguel always gets what he wants."

------------

You held your bag in your hand, waiting for Miguel's text. You had prepped last night and the manager allowed you to leave your duffel bag in her office for your shift. Stepping outside the supermarket, you gasped lowly, spotting Miguel exiting his car.

"I was just about to text you," Miguel hummed. His driver rushing out to take your bag, "Would you like to go anywhere first before dinner? There's still some hours of daylight left."

"O-Oh, hmm..." You covered your mouth, trying to think as Miguel motioned you towards his car, "I-I'm not sure, there is...a few things I've been wanting to see..."

"Name them,"

Once you were both in the backseat of his car, Miguel brought you in for a deep kiss. He loved seeing how dazed and red you get each time. It was so addicting seeing your innocence. As you started naming some places, Miguel informed his driver to take them to each one.

Before they left, Miguel made sure to signal Jessica a good job and for her to go back home. Miguel was determined to make sure nothing gets you stressed or worked up. Especially not after seeing those scars.

Right as he leaned back into his seat, Miguel eagerly waited for a report from Miles. There was so much anger inside of Miguel that he needed to let it loose soon.

"Thank you, Miguel," You whispered, resting your head against his shoulder. Miguel wrapped his arm around your waist,

"Of course,"

---------

You were exhausted. Miguel had taken you all over the city, sightseeing a bunch of places you had wanted to visit. You felt so happy and loved. But mainly exhausted. All of that walking around since he couldn't drive into those places, did take a toll.

Rubbing your eyes as you sat back down in the back of Miguel's car, you whimpered a small yawn. Once the car started to drive, you immediately fell asleep.

---------

Miguel resisted a chuckle as he watched you sleep against him. Wanting to make you comfortable, Miguel adjusted you and had you lay your head on his lap. Miguel's jacket resting over you as a blanket. It was funny. Normally Miguel had women lay down in his car for other reasons, but this was nice.

As Miguel played with your hair, he felt his phone buzz. Assuming that it was Miles, Miguel hurriedly answered.

"Update?"

"Weeeeeeeeell," Lyla forced a laugh, "That mission you sent Miles on turned out to be a road trip."

"Que? (What)"

"See, Gwen and Hobie found out that Miles was going out of town and decided they want in. Then they dragged Pavitar with them, so to make sure they didn't mess up the mission or do anything stupid-"

"Don't say Peter-"

"I had Peter go supervise them," Lyla laughed.

Miguel couldn't handle hearing anymore. He hung up, groaning lowly. It just had to be the youngling of his group. They kept adding to his stress. But, at least Miguel had you.

"Shall I take you home, sir?" Miguel glanced up at his driver,

"Yes. Perhaps take out will suffice for dinner instead." Miguel replied, adoring your sleeping visage.

The last thing Miguel wanted to do was overstimulate you. You were fragile. His reports from Jessica were very detailed in what got you to tick and explode. It took every ounce of willpower for Miguel to stay back whenever Jessica reported you crying over a stupid, angry customer.

But, you won't be working there much longer. Arriving at his penthouse, Miguel carefully picked you up and carried you upstairs while his driver grabbed the bags.

You looked perfect in his arms. All nuzzled against him, sleeping peacefully. Why didn't you appear sooner in his life? Miguel was going to treat you like the queen you deserve to be. His precious little wife. A title so fitting for you.

Miguel had his driver leave the bags on the counter and told him to enjoy the rest of his day. With ease, Miguel took off both his shoes and yours and proceeded to take you to his bedroom. Miguel placed you on his bed, kissing the top of your head before leaving to order some food.

"Que duermas bien mi conejito. (Sleep well, my little bunny)"

-----------

It was quiet. Your felt yourself start to come too as you shifted slightly in your sleep. You felt relaxed and comfortable. Slowly opening your eyes, you titled your head at the different, yet fancy ceiling. Miguel must have taken you to his place.

Gasping, you shot up, covering your face since you realized that you fell asleep. How embarrassing! You looked around, seeing that you were in his room, but no sign of Miguel. Laying back down, you felt yourself sink into his mattress.

"It smells like him," You whispered, holding his pillow close.

Your cheeks started to warm up as your heart pounded against your chest. You were really at Miguel's place. You wanted to feel like everything was moving so fast, but it also felt so right. It was corny, but you felt like Miguel was filling in the missing pieces.

"Ah, you're awake. Did you rest well?" Miguel asked as he entered the room. You quickly released his pillow and sat up,

"Mhm, s-sorry for falling asleep,"

"Don't be. I made you exhausted after a long day of work," Miguel sat beside you, cupping your cheek, "I got us some take out. Ready to eat?"

"Yep,"

You took Miguel's hand, giggling softly as he lifted you off the bed. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, enjoying the moment. Miguel held your hand as he showed you around his penthouse, at least until he took you to the dining room where dinner was waiting.

"T-This place...is...is so big. It...It must feel really lonely," You whispered.

Miguel glanced at you in awe. Every other women would compliment on his place, saying it must cost a fortune, or make a sly comment about him needing a maid. Yet, here you were, worried about him. It was funny how much Miguel loved you.

"Not too much since I'm only here so a short time. Unless I get a reason to home won't, I'll stay out working." Miguel handed you a plate.

"T-Thank you,"

You watched Miguel as he set the plates, finding him much more attractive. This was new. You sat up, wanting to help him, but Miguel insisted that you'd sit and relax. As Miguel set the plates, you picked at your sleeves. He was so nice to you. So understanding.

Perhaps, you could tell him your secret. It was something hard for you, but if you were going to be serious with Miguel, you wanted him to know. You were just worried about his reaction. What if he decided that you were ugly? What if he didn't want anything to do with you afterwards?

"(Y/N), what's wrong?" Miguel hurried to your side, wiping your tears away, "Tell me, mi amor (my love)."

"I-I'm so-sorry. I-It's just...I...I want...w-want to t-tell you s-something b-but...but I-I'm scared...t-that you'll w-want n-nothing to do...w-with me." You sobbed.

Miguel knew you were scared due to your worse stuttering. He held you against his chest, letting you cry. Miguel had a rough idea that you wanted to tell him about your scars. Hell, Miguel wasn't sure how he would react. Stroking your hair, Miguel sighed softly,

"(Y/N), I never want you to be scared of me. You can tell me anything. I'll still love you all the same," He tried to reassure you.

You sniffled, trying to calm down. You apologized for ruining dinner, but Miguel dismissed it. He reassured you once more, and told you to eat. Miguel wanted you to have some energy before telling him anything.

You agreed and ate beside Miguel, still sniffling every now and then. Once finished, you offered to do the dishes, needing some more time to calm down. Miguel said he was going to shower. That gave you some time.

Once dishes were done, you quickly looked through your bag for your pajamas, puzzles and cookies. When Miguel came out of the shower, you proceeded to enter. You grabbed Miguel's hand, slowly bringing him back into the bathroom.

"(Y/N)?"

"I-I was...in a....v-very bad relationship...b-before. Which, which is why I'm s-so scared...I-I really...really...like you Miguel. I-I want y-you to understand...m-my fear,"

"Of course,"

You closed your eyes as Miguel held your cheeks in his hands. He kissed your forehead, giving you motivation. You hummed lowly and slowly started to take off your clothes.

---------

Miguel watched you, telling himself to relax no matter the outcome. You needed his support, which was something he was not used to giving. His brows furrowed as you took your pants off. There were cuts, scars and a few cigarette marks.

Miguel felt his blood boil. Tears were streaming down your cheeks as your body started to shake. You were gripping the bottom of your shirt, hesitating to pull it up. Miguel almost didn't want you too, but this was for you.

"Lo mataré por ti, mi conejito. (I'll kill him for you, my bunny.)" Miguel whispered as he gave you a deep kiss.

Miguel watched the sparkle in your eyes shine as you made eye contact with him. His hands rested over yours, helping you remove your shirt. Miguel inhaled deeply as he observed your body, which was covered in those marks as well.

"S-Sorry...f-for not being-"

"Beautiful?" Miguel interrupted, needing to change your mindset, "You didn't make these marks, but they don't cover your beauty. (Y/N), I'll get revenge for you, but I need you to love yourself as much I do." He whispered, kissing your hand.

"B-But-"

"You have no idea how much I'm behaving right now. Seeing you shaking in front of me, ready to be devoured."

Miguel chuckled lowly as your face turned bright red. He captured your lips in another kiss before taking your hand and showing you how the shower worked. He smiled, watching you nod and hold his hand tightly.

You were warming up to him, and Miguel liked that. Letting you shower peacefully, Miguel made sure to compliment you once more. He stepped out of the bathroom and returned to the dining room, to make sure everything was cleaned.

To his surprise, he saw your cookies. A smile formed against his lips as he placed one in his mouth despite hating sweets. To his surprise, it wasn't too sweet. It felt just right. Feeling his phone buzz, Miguel looked at a text he received from Miles.

'We have a name.'

"Tch," Miguel hissed lowly, calling the kid, "I want more than just a name. I want everything on his fucker. If you guys find him, bring me to me."

"Whoa, guys? It's just me-"

"I can hear Hobie and Peter in the background," Miguel said unamused. Miles laughed awkwardly,

"Okay, fine. Hobie's asking if we can rough him up a bit?"

"No. Leave that to me."

Miguel immediately hung up upon hearing your call. He returned to the bathroom with a grim look on his face. Miguel was going to make sure your ex paid for what he did to you. For damaging his precious future wife.

You belonged to Miguel.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

next chapter <<<Heavy smut

@migueloharacumslut @18lkpeters @deputy-videogamer @leahnicole1219 @synamonthy @thedevax @jolynesposts @thraetor @freehentai @2099hitmylineyline @vvampir3s @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @secretadmirerisnowonline @jadeloverxd @bunnibitez @oharasfilipinawife @randomgoosegame @lilbanas @daisy-artfield @axi-moore @mimiemie @darkfairy102190 @jazzyj1011 @mcmiracles @innercreationflower @spoderssimp @thel0velykey190 @moonvoidpng @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @scaleniusrm @love4saturn @nyxgoddessofchaos13 @slutty-chronicles @ghstypaint @migueloharastruelove @brainmatterdump @a060403 @trendyharold @yannauauau @kimivixen @angel-xx-1 @nxrdamp @miguelzslvtz @lynxslokley @wafflefries786 @pochapo @what-the-jams @flaps200 @ii-angelsrolltheireyes-ii @nakimushiohime @tojishugetiddies @aya-world @supercowgirl04 @mysteris-things @daisy-artfield @mcmiracles @alexa4040 @llama--drama @kpopscoups17130000 @havkjhdecs @ruexvn @tojishugetiddies

[muffinsin]

Hey everyone- did someone say Halloween HCs? Here’s some fluffy ones since it’s upcoming! A little early, but there will be some more Halloween-themed posts on the 30th and 31st!🎃👻🙌👀

Let’s get into this!🙌

Masterlists

Cassandra is easily the one to get most excited around Halloween

Keeping track of months and time can be a little difficult at the castle, as especially Cassandra and Daniela tend to only watch out what season it is, rather than what month

As such, usually around the later weeks in August, when it’s beginning to get slightly colder, Cassandra can be found moving about the castle, swarming right to her older sister to ask her just what month it is

To excited for Halloween to care much about whether her sister is busy and too impatient to wait, she usually either catches her working, or-

something Bela appreciates even less

- swarms right into her bedroom, waking her up for her very important question

Still groggy from sleep, the eldest only ever pulls Cassandra in bed with her, shushing her when she attempts to ask again and again for Bela to check her calendar, groaning for the overly excited woman to sleep

Really, Halloween gets her excited like a child on Christmas morning

And as such, the moment Cassandra awakens in the morning after such incidents, she shakes her sister awake too, whining and demanding for her to check the calendar already and explain to her how much longer the sun will have to set and rise again until her favourite holiday is finally around the corner

Unlike her sisters and mother, Cassandra spends all October anticipating Halloween, rambling excitedly to prisoners about it before she finishes them off, occasionally even feeling vulnerable enough to slip into her sister’s room and ramble there, unsure and uncaring whether Bela is actually listening

Around the night from the 30th to the 31st, Alcina hosts a yearly event, a ball-like celebration allowing her daughters and the staff to celebrate Halloween, even to dress up and eat to their heart’s content

At the night of the 31st, Cassandra is out terrorising the village. She giggles whenever she reasons: she’s got a reputation to keep up!

While she rarely attends her mother’s yearly celebration, uncaring for the amount of people attending, she does love to dress up

As freshly reborn spawns, Alcina always found it cute to dress the three as some kind of trio

Such as the times they all clung to her, still too young to walk, in little bat outfits that even sported small wings coming from the back of their onesies

Or even the time Alcina dressed them as Lords, allowing the eldest to go as her, Cassandra as Heisenberg and little Daniela as Donna, though the then young thing quickly began to chew on the veil that her mother eventually had to remove from her head

The pictures of the outfits haunt them still whenever the mother of three shows them off proudly, laughing at the shy whines she receives in return

No, these days Cassandra is certainly not seen in cute, little costumes

She finds, she already is pretty scary, would not even need to dress up

And still, she likes to add to her look occasionally

Her favourite costume by far is to put on a white, skin tight dress and “play” with her favourite prisoners all day, until the white is red and her entire body is covered in blood

Often, her sisters join her in this look, unintentionally warming their mother’s heart and making her clutch her chest in adoration that they still wear a trio costume

They don’t quite understand, but are willing to put up with the pictures taken from the woman, only whining and hissing about when they’re picked up and they complain about all the blood smearing again

Of course, they couldn’t possibly be clean!

While the trick or treat tradition certainly isn’t lost at the village, Cassandra sees little use for it, interested in no candy bars that could be offered to her

No, she hardly cares for such things

But, occasionally, Cassandra and her sisters like to create a similar game, carrying around a large bag and collecting limbs and pumpkins they find outside

By the end of the night they curl up on top of Alcina’s bed, emptying the bags and fighting about who has found most, as their catches are usually just dropped in one pile and all sisters insist they won

Alcina usually watches them bicker for a little bit, sometimes even playfully attack and swipe at one another until they tire themselves out and sleep curled up on top of her large, warm bed

She’s never one to stop them, of course, even when her sheets are bloodied after, sometimes even pierced or slightly torn when the three flex their claw-like nails in their sleep

Daniela, a somewhat opposite to her older sister, finds the most exciting thing about Halloween, is that it means Christmas is right around the corner!

Still, there are some joys in the holiday she regularly looks forward to

Such as getting all the candy!

Unlike her older sisters, Daniela loves sweet food and, above all, likes to snack on candy stolen from the kitchens

Only is she already energetic as is, and often finds herself carried by Alcina after racing through the castle and breaking a thing here or there, whining when she’s scolded and her candy is taken again, rationed by the mother of three to save her some scratches on her expensive floors

Halloween, though?

She gets to eat as much as she wants!

Usually, this means the following series of events;

Daniela searches the kitchens for candy, storing it all inside her own version of a bucket; a hollowed out head of whoever annoyed her last and looked particularly beautiful to her,

Then, terrorising the village with her sisters and taking all the candy that is fearfully handed over as quick as possible

Then, she’s found back at the castle, eating and nibbling on some of it while she listens to her sisters ramble about this and that

It’s honestly just entertainment to her

Afterwards there’s a period she’ll whine for either of them to play with her, feeling a burst of energy that she needs to let out!

And usually, this means Cassandra plays chase with her around the castle

As Daniela giggles, her older sister usually becomes more and more annoyed, frustrated she can’t catch up to her younger, faster sister

Of course, she feels delight at this. She’s always been the fast one, after all

And she only gets more and more giggly and excited when Bela inevitably has to join in to catch her again, both her sisters chasing her and trying to cut her off as she runs and swarms

While they try to get her in order for the bundle of energy to sleep at last, it’s all a game to Daniela

One she is very good at, and one she loves dearly

Eventually, she will be caught, held up by Cassandra while Bela scolds her half heartedly

She only ever giggles at them, playfully biting at her older sister’s finger when it waves in her face before demanding she’s tired

Ah, but she gets to sleep in Mama’s bed on holidays!

And as such, the holiday of Halloween ends for her when she’s curled up on top of Alcina’s warm chest, the blankets heavy and comforting, her mother’s fingers combing through her hair to help her fall asleep

Peace. Happiness. Comfort

Lastly, there’s Bela

Now, Halloween isn’t her favourite holiday

Especially, that is, when she awakens in the middle of the night with her younger sister’s dark golden, wide eyes staring at her and her hands shaking at her shoulder eagerly

Or when she must fight Daniela to calm down after she’s overly excited and energetic

Or even when countless maidens, drunk on their happiness and confident due to the wine they’re allowed at Mother’s celebration, begin attempting to court her in cheesy ways

One even going so far as to dress as a vampire merely to offer biting at her neck!, whereas another made a lame reference to offering up their neck while dressed as Dracula’s fair maiden

As if she needed permission to tear out one’s throat!

Her younger sisters snicker as they watch the women attempt to court her, only ever earning a head shake or an eye roll in return

They know; none of them are worthy of their sister, anyway, but find it amusing to watch her turn each of them down until she grows so annoyed she grabs them by the wrists and demands they begin their hunt early

Despite all of this, the Halloween holiday is certainly the one she’s most interested in, historically speaking

The idea of the celts that this single night is when the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead is thinnest, and all sorts of mischievous spirits roamed about, is intriguing to her

She isn’t overly superstitious, being a woman who turns to logic instead

And still, she likes to light pumpkins and scare her adorably naive youngest sister occasionally, telling her the ghosts of those they wronged will come this night and find her, should her costume not suffice

She laughs to herself whenever Daniela runs off to find Mother, demanding she doesn’t let the ghosts catch her

As they grow older and more mature, this proves a little harder to pull off, as even Daniela begins to realise her sister must be messing with her

Still, a few scary sounds and candles suddenly going out and naive Daniela runs again, swarming and whining to Alcina while the two older sisters laugh to themselves

She is a caring sister, really. She deserves this little break on Halloween, though, and all know it

As such, Alcina only ever sends her a look as if saying: “Really, again?”, but never has her stop with her ghost stories that send her younger sister hiding away for a good while

All in all, Bela also finds certain enjoyment and satisfaction in the holiday, smiling by the end of it when she gets to fall asleep and know; Cassandra will not disturb her precious sleep again anytime soon

[cheynovak]

Shadows and Songs 2

Azriel x Y/N female Illyrian

Summary: Azriel saved Y/N. Her wings where taken from her. She barely survived, the only thing she remembers during recovering is hearing a voice sing.

Warnings: Nothing explicit, build up tension, fight, anger, ...

English isn't my first language.

Please do not copy my work. Likes, reblogs and comments are welcome.

The days that followed were quiet, but not in the way they’d been when I first came to the House of Wind. Back then, the silence had been suffocating—too thick to breathe through, heavy with memories I wanted to escape. Now, it was… strange.

The inner circle seemed to envelop me almost overnight. Whether it was pity or something else, I didn’t know. Rhysand especially seemed determined to make me feel like I belonged. He’d offered me a job, his tone so charming it nearly had me agreeing on instinct. But I’d declined, respectfully but firmly. A job meant staying close, and I couldn’t. Not with Azriel still looming in the shadows of my mind.

Still, I accepted Rhysand’s offer for a small rental apartment on the outskirts of Velaris. It was cozy, not far from the river. Small enough to feel manageable, and with just enough space to let me breathe on my own. Moving there meant I wouldn’t have to see Azriel anymore—not by chance, not in passing, not in the ways that tied me up in knots.

I thought about telling Rhys the truth of why I needed to move, why staying wasn’t an option. But when his easy grin softened into something warm and understanding, I decided not to explain. Maybe he knew anyway. Maybe all of them knew.

***

In the weeks that followed, I adjusted to my new normal. Mor dragged me into town a handful of times, her unyielding enthusiasm pulling me along even when I resisted. Amren stopped by the apartment once, bringing a book I hadn’t asked for but found myself engrossed in that same night.

Cassian, dropped by regularly, he helped me learning how to walk properly, with an insufferable grin and stories that always left me laughing despite feeling bad. Losing my wings meant also losing my balance.

But he also to talked about Nesta. The way he spoke about the older sister made my heart warm. That man was in deep and I was all for it!

He sounded like my brother, and I started to feel at ease with him around. Just like my brother he didn't need much from me to understand how I felt and what I needed to cheer me up.

Feyre, even convinced me to sit by the river with her one afternoon, painting the rolling hills beyond while I listened to the hum of Velaris around us.

Well, she painted I watched quietly.

They’d all seemed to adopt me in their own ways, the warmth of their camaraderie spilling into the cracks I’d been hiding in. For once, it didn’t feel suffocating to let someone in.

But Azriel?

He didn’t come.

At least, not directly.

I could feel him lingering—watching from a distance even when I couldn’t see him. Sometimes it was a shadow I swore moved unnaturally as I walked through the city.

A pull in my chest while I lay in bed at night, a push whenever I was insecure about going outside. An emotion that wasn't mine popped up when I was alone.

Or the faint feeling of being watched just before I looked over my shoulder. He wasn’t there in person, but I wasn’t free of him either.

He didn’t say a word after the night he’d rejected me, though. Didn’t explain, didn’t try to mend the rift growing between us. And I didn’t ask.

Distance, I told myself, was for the best. Yet no amount of distance dulled the memory of that kiss, the ghost of his touch on my skin.

Some nights, I found myself sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into nothingness as my mind replayed the way he’d kissed me—soft at first, then desperate, like I was the air he needed to breathe.

And the way he’d pulled back. Shut me out.

“You’re hurt.”

“I can’t take advantage of you.”

The words played on an endless loop, twisting into something bitter no matter how hard I tried to let them go.

Azriel didn’t see me as more than broken, and I couldn’t stop wishing he did.

***

The knock at my door startled me, sharp against the quiet of my small apartment. I glanced at the clock, sighing. It was early—too early. My immediate thought was that Cassian had come to drag me to some ridiculous training session with Nesta and her friends.

Rubbing at my eyes, I pulled the door open, preparing a playful excuse to avoid the day. But the words died on my tongue as I saw who it was.

Azriel.

His presence filled the small hallway like a shadow curling at the edges of the room. He wasn’t armored like he usually was for his missions. Instead, he wore a simple shirt and dark pants that did nothing to downplay his quiet strength. His wings were tucked behind him, the faint light from outside framing him in a way that made me momentarily forget how to speak.

“Hi,” he said softly, his voice low and even, yet there was a slight hesitation there.

I froze, swallowing hard, trying to muster a response. Anything. But his gaze held mine, the weight of it making the words stick in my throat.

After what felt like an eternity, Azriel cleared his throat and spoke again, “It’s the Winter Solstice.” His tone was gentle, like he was testing how I might react. “I came to… invite you to join us. At the House of Wind.”

I blinked at him, and he quickly added, “Rhys is already half-expecting you.”

The mention of Rhysand made the offer feel less intimidating, like there was no way I could refuse even if every nerve in my body screamed to keep my distance.

Azriel waited, his expression unreadable except for the faintest flicker of unease in his hazel eyes. As though he didn’t know whether I’d slam the door in his face.

“I… okay,” I finally said, stumbling over the single word. “I’ll come.”

His shoulders seemed to relax just slightly, a subtle shift most people might not even notice. “Good,” he said after a beat. “We’ll have dinner, with friends."

He nodded once, almost as if reassuring himself. And without another word, he turned and left, disappearing down the stairs before I could respond or second-guess my agreement.

I closed the door, pressing my back against it, my heart racing.

Azriel. Inviting me.

Just the memory of his eyes on mine—soft and distant but unmistakably steady—left me mesmerized. Solstice at the House of Wind.

This was going to be… complicated.

***

Dinner at the House of Wind was far more tense than I could have ever imagined.

The Inner Circle was warm and welcoming, laughing and teasing over wine and a beautifully prepared feast. But beneath the surface, tension churned—its source unmistakable to anyone paying attention.

My gaze flickered to Elain, Feyre’s sister, who sat poised and ethereal, the picture of soft beauty. Her eyes, however, were daggers as they locked on another female at the table. Gwyn.

Gwyn had just thanked Azriel for her Solstice gift, her fingers brushing the delicate jewel hanging at her neck. It caught the light, shimmering beautifully, though not nearly as brightly as the gratitude in her smile.

Elain didn’t share that gratitude.

Her posture stiffened, her lips tightening just enough to make her disapproval clear. She hadn’t even tried to mask her reaction, the jealousy rolling off her in subtle, tense waves.

Azriel, meanwhile, seemed caught between them, his hazel eyes flickering nervously to Elain as though bracing for whatever venom she might spill.

And it was then, watching that exchange, that it all hit me.

He was in love. Or at least it was complicated. No matter the moments we’d shared, no matter the way my heart pounded every time I was near him, Azriel already had two stunningly beautiful women vying for his attention. Both of them more suitable, more radiant, more... everything I wasn’t.

I wasn’t a fool. I didn’t belong in this game, not with Elain looking like she belonged in a painting and Gwyn glowing with confidence and kindness. Showing up every morning training with them, showing him what she's worth.

The meal continued, but the knot in my chest only grew tighter. Every time Gwyn glanced at Azriel with a soft smile or Elain shot him a look of thinly veiled hurt, my stomach churned.

Eventually, the tension in the room became suffocating.

I set my wine glass down carefully, the noise of it meeting the table louder than I’d intended. All eyes flicked to me as I stood, smoothing the skirt of my dress. “Cassian,” I said, my tone steady despite the emotions warring inside me, “would you mind flying me back down? I think I’ve had enough for tonight.”

Cassian frowned slightly, the humor slipping from his expression, but before he could answer, Azriel stood abruptly. “I’ll do it.”

I turned to face him, a smirk playing on my lips—one laced with bitterness I couldn’t fully hide. “Sorry, Azriel,” I said, “but it seems you invited a few too many girlfriends tonight, I think your occupied.”

My words landed like a slap.

The entire table froze, and for a moment, the only sound was the crackling fire behind us.

And then Elain spoke.

Her voice was sweet, but the bite underneath it was impossible to miss. “Her too?"she asked sharply, her gaze narrowing at me. “What, you first try Mor then me, Gwyn and now her, placing a bet on more than one horse, are you?”

The weight of the room shifted as everyone turned their attention to her. "Trust me he's not interested in me." I spat out. "He made that very clear."

Azriel looked as though we'd struck him. His jaw tightened as he stared at her, shadows flickering darkly around his feet. His voice, when he finally spoke, was low and tightly controlled. “You handed me the necklace back, Elain. That was a clear sign to me ."

It took a moment for her to respond, but the hurt simmering in her eyes didn’t waver. “And you immediately ran to someone else?”

Gwyn, sitting on the other side of Azriel, looked stunned—her hand hovering over the jewel at her neck, her cheeks coloring with embarrassment.

Gwyn said, her voice soft but firm. “I didn’t even know—”

I didn’t wait for her to finish.

“Cassian?” I asked again, pulling everyone’s attention back to me as I ignored the thick, stifling tension brewing at the table. I wasn’t part of this, didn’t want to be part of it. “Please?”

Cassian shot Azriel a curious glance, his hazel eyes narrowing as though weighing some unspoken argument, but when Azriel said nothing, Cassian nodded once. “Of course.”

Without another word, I turned on my heel and strode toward the door, willing myself not to look back.

The burn of humiliation followed me as I left, but I didn’t falter. I didn’t dare let them see how much it hurt—how small I’d felt sitting at that table, surrounded by people who saw each other but somehow never truly saw me.

And yet… as Cassian led me toward the balcony, I felt the faint, familiar brush of shadows curling near my feet.

“Y/N, don’t go.”

Azriel’s voice cut through the cool night air like a blade, sharp and desperate.

I froze mid-step on the balcony, Cassian stopping beside me. I glanced at him, his brow raised as he looked between me and Azriel. He seemed torn between stepping aside and staying to protect me from whatever this was.

“Give us a moment?” Azriel asked, though his tone was more of a command than a question.

Cassian looked to me, silently asking for reassurance. I gave him a small nod, forcing down the lump rising in my throat. Without a word, Cassian stepped back inside, leaving Azriel and me alone in the moonlit quiet.

Azriel turned to me, his wings flexing slightly as though he couldn’t quite settle. He stepped closer, his eyes scanning me with an intensity that left me breathless. “How is your back?” he asked softly.

My anger flared.

“Really!? That’s what you have to say to me?” I snapped, my voice rising. “How’s your back?” I gave a bitter laugh, stepping closer and glaring up at him

"After everything. Y-you turned me down, Azriel. You acted like I didn’t matter. And yet you’ve been spying on me, haven’t you? You damn well know how my back is! It's horrible, I can't proper walk, I miss flying, there are days I try to walk around my tiny apartment afraid I bump then into my furniture."

"Other days I wish you just left me there."

"You would have died!" He snapped at me.

"Good! Then I wouldn't have been such an inconvenience to you!"

Frustration bubbled over, and I shoved his chest. It was like hitting a brick wall, my push barely moving him as I stumbled back from the force of my own anger.

"Well, it's you who made a fool out of me in there." His expression didn’t waver, though his jaw tightened. “I don’t know what you think there is between us,” he said quietly, shadows shifting at his feet, “but it’s just you… falling for the guy who saved you.”

“No!” I shouted, my hands trembling as I clenched them into fists. “I know what there is, Azriel! You’re just too damn afraid to admit it!”

He didn’t move, his hazel eyes locked on mine, his expression inscrutable. But he was listening—I could see it in the way his shadows stilled, the way his wings tightened against his back.

I stepped closer, my chest heaving with each breath. “I feel you when you’re near,” I said, my voice shaking but firm. “Even when I can’t see you, I feel the pull. And I know you feel mine, too. I see it in the way you watch me. I feel it in every step you take toward me only to stop yourself before you cross some line you made up.”

Azriel’s gaze flickered to my lips for the barest moment before he caught himself. "That's not..."

“You’re just too scared to admit it,” I continued, my voice softer but no less raw. We were toe to toe now, the air between us crackling like lightning. “And you know what, that’s fine, Azriel. You don’t have to accept it. But don’t you dare deny it. We’re ma…”

The words caught in my throat, but before I could finish the sentence, two strong hands wrapped around my cheeks.

Azriel pulled me against him with a force that knocked the breath from my lungs, and his lips crashed down on mine.

It wasn’t soft, wasn’t tentative—it was full of unspoken words, of frustration and longing. His hands anchored me to him, one sliding up to tangle in my hair as if I might vanish if he didn’t hold on tightly enough.

I melted into him, every thought, every doubt evaporating under the weight of his kiss. The world around us blurred until there was nothing but him—his touch, his lips, but the raw intensity of the moment was quickly over shadowed by my pride and anger.

The anger churned hot in my veins as I tilted my head back and slammed it forward, cracking my forehead against Azriel’s nose. The resounding *crack* echoed in the air, and Azriel stumbled back, a startled shout escaping him.

“Fuck!" he hissed, his hand flying to his face. He pressed against his nose, wincing as he pushed it back into place, his glare sharp enough to cut. “Why the hell did you do that?”

I ignored him completely. My eyes locked onto Cassian, who stood near the doorway, accompanied by the rest of the guests, his brows lifted in stunned amusement. “Listen, Cassian,” I ground out, “if you don’t take me down right now—”

“No!” Azriel roared behind me, his shadows swirling angrily at his feet. “You stay right here, we're not done!”

I didn’t even flinch at his command. I kept my focus on Cassian, who looked at me with something close to apology and pity. “Sorry, Y/N,” he said, hands raised in surrender. “He’s still my brother. Can’t interfere.”

My lips twitched in irritation as I snapped, “Fine! I’ll take the fucking stairs."

I stormed toward the staircase, but before I could so much as take two steps, strong hands grabbed me by the waist.

“What the hell, Azriel?” I shrieked as he lifted me clear off the ground and tossed me gently back onto the balcony.

“You’re not walking down those stairs in this state, you can't even walk them when you're calm and you know it!” he muttered, his voice clipped. “I’ll take you home—once you cool down.”

"C-cool down?!" I repeated, my voice going shrill as I whirled to face him.

Behind Azriel, Rhysand let out a low whistle, his violet eyes sparkling with amusement. “Oh-oh…” he murmured, clearly entertained. “Azriel, I think you forget who you’re dealing with here. She’s still Illyrian, you know.” Feyre bumped her elbow in his side, mouthing "not helping!"

Cassian laughed, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “Yeah, Az, even I know better than to tell a female to ‘cool off.’”

Azriel’s lips twitched, as though suppressing the urge to snap back at them, but his gaze stayed focused on me. He shifted slightly, trying to block my path, but I wasn’t having it.

“Move,” I ordered, pushing past him toward the stairs again. But before I could make it even a single step this time, he was faster.

Azriel’s arms scooped me up in one swift motion, his wings flaring wide as he stepped off the balcony and into the open sky.

I didn’t have time to protest before we were airborne, my apartment coming into view below us. My anger surged, words tumbling from my mouth without thought. “Put me down, Azriel! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Making sure you get home in one piece,” he said calmly, though I could feel the tension radiating off him in waves.

“By manhandling me?” I snapped, my fists pounding against his chest in frustration. “You don’t get to decide how I leave, or when, or who takes me home—”

“Yes, I do,” he interrupted firmly, his voice low but unwavering. “When you’re so mad you can barely think straight, and when the stairs would leave you pacing for hours, yes, I do.”

"I can barely think straight!? You kissed me while all your girlfriends are in the other room." But as much as I hated to admit it, some small, quiet part of me knew he wasn’t entirely wrong. I still wasn't fully recovered.

Still, I glared up at him. “You’re infuriating.”

Azriel didn’t respond, his mouth twitching as though holding back a smile. The tension between us hung heavy in the air as he descended, landing softly in front of my apartment. Without a word, he set me down on my feet, steadying me with a hand on my arm.

But he didn’t pull back immediately. Instead, he held me there, his gaze lingering on my face, searching for… something.

My breath hitched at the weight of those words. I should have said it. Should have walked into my apartment and slammed the door in his face.

But I couldn’t. He walked me back inside and we stood in front of my door. Waiting for one of us to say something... anything.

--

Taglist:

@mich0731 @winchesterwild78 @paintedbyshadows @lilah-asteria @nancymcl @hobby27 @kindollss @shadysoulangel @tele86

[misscammiedawn]

The Only Murder Alter I Respect

CW: abuse, neglect, sexual assault, incest, harm to an infant

"Oh, I am one yet many."

In my last article on The Murder Alter we spoke a little about the history of the Murder Alter trope in fiction.

To quickly recap, fiction has a fascination with depicting those with dissociative identity disorder as being inherently evil. The roots of the trope come from misunderstandings of the text of Jekyll & Hyde, assuming Hyde to be a personification of evil rather than the disguise of a man who wished to indulge in socially unacceptable actions.

To cut the long story of the previous essay short; Jekyll loses control of a physical transformation, the potion only draws out "evil" within him in the way that he is able to act without fear of consequence. All the evil of Hyde belonged to Jekyll. Alas, the play version of the story hit London about the time of the Whitechapel murders committed by Jack The Ripper and the public began to compare these real life murders to the plot of the play, going as far as accusing the lead actor of being Spring-Heeled Jack.

To see more, read the first chapter of this essay.

-

In my view a vulnerable minority of any kind being a villain is offensive if they are handled with no respect. If their stereotype overwhelms their role as a character.

For the case of a murderer or serial killer character we have to ask their motives. Many pieces of fiction will assume that the existence of trauma alone is a motive. In recent years there has been a trend of giving irredeemable characters trauma in their 'sympathetic backstories' to justify their wanton killing without any regard that they are actually communicating that abused people will become abusers or worse killers themselves.

It's not the kindest sentiment to put out into the world.

In Split, a horrible movie that I absolutely despise, the evil "Beast" personality spews out this horrible line of dialogue:

"You are different from the rest. Your heart is pure! Rejoice! The broken are the more evolved. Rejoice."

To be clear, as mentioned before, traumatized victims are far more likely to be the victims of violence, not the perpetrators of it. Trauma does not make someone strong, enlightened or more capable. It makes us traumatized.

Then there is the absolution of guilt which becomes the argument that people with DID have no responsibility for their actions. The first chapter of this essay mentioned the real life cases of Gein and Milligan being unfit for trial by reason of insanity and being held in mental care facility.

In fiction, however, this trope was taken to extremes with the case of Primal Fear (and again, more recently, with the Joker sequel) with the idea that a successful DID based defense would allow "not guilty by reason of insanity" lead to a release upon a miraculous cure of the condition which the fictional characters were faking to escape their crimes.

Not the kind those with the real life condition need the public believing, especially when we currently have the McLean Hospital that specializes in treatment of dissociative disorders assuming that people seeking treatment are faking for attention.

Even if they had a character whose murderous alters motives were not stigmatizing and they took responsibility for their actions, there's still the matter of them being sympathetic. Typically the split personality trope is rolled out to reveal a twist villain in the third act. If there is an evil alter responsible for the crimes they are typically hidden from the audience until the very end to keep the audience in the dark.

For a hyperbolic example of how bad this trope is, the movie Adaptation presents the trope to the audience as lowest common denominator slop wheeled out for a reaction and born from the worst instincts of a dedicated writer.

Donald Kaufman: Okay, well here's the twist. We find out that, that the killer really suffers from multiple personality disorder, right? See, he's actually really the cop and the girl. All of them are him. Isn't that fucked up?

Unrelated to this essay but Adaptation marks the only time an alter has been nominated for an Oscar along with their host. Technically.

The point is, we cannot sympathize with the person depicted as having DID if their condition is kept hidden for the sake of a surprise reveal at the end of the story.

There are other considerations but in tallying some of the reasons this trope is harmful and horrible, I now want to turn the topic to more positive things because I find that a blanket statements are not helpful. The stigma of depicting a person with DID as a killer is harmful, this is undeniable. It paints all with the condition in a negative light.

But surely it is possible to depict a character with justified motive, agency for their actions, a chance for audience sympathy and an accurate depiction of the illness.

Now, for the sake of spoilers, I am going to be talking about a murder alter and thus revealing their identity is going to give heavy spoilers to the media that they are from and for engagement sakes I am tagging this article with that media's name.

So. Below the cut will be a discussion of a character who can easily be read as having DID who fits the parameters of a murder alter and yet I feel is compassionate representation of this mental illness and an incredibly written system.

Be aware that these spoilers will completely break the intended experience of reading this media. But knowing the media is a spoiler alone.

Essentially I've written myself into a corner of engagement because the only people who can safely click through already know half the stuff I'm going to say which means I am encouraging the click from those who have never heard of or enjoyed this media while knowing that I am breaking the entire experience by talking about it.

So we're going to do a readmore and trust y'all to know that there are massive spoilers below.

Tumblr audience, allow me to introduce…

Beatrice, The Golden Witch.

Ahaha.wav ~ Ahaha.wav ~ Ahaha.wav ~ Ahaha.wav ~ Ahaha.wav

Though Beatrice is the murder alter in question, let's talk about who she was prior to becoming the lord of the Golden Land.

Let's talk about...

Sayo Yasuda.

Yasu was a meek and timid young thing, only having known a life at an orphanage which trained young people to become maids and servants for high society families.

Raised in a childhood where they were forced to work, despite being timid, forgetful and clumsy; Yasu did not know the love and affection of a family. Moreover after being brought on to work for the Ushiromiya family, the younger staff of the house, all in their late teens, resented and bullied the young child for being a burden to their duties and because they were inexplicably given favor by the head servant, Genji and the head maid Kumasawa.

Yasu was only 9 years old as this happened. Going to school and working long hours as a servant. Berated for being slow, weak, impolite and forgetful.

Their only ally within the orphanage was an elder maid, Shannon, who was capable and would always advise (but never take over) and encourage Yasu. Young Yasu wanted to be just like Shannon when they grew up.

They shared a room and would talk long into the night, Shannon always quietly encouraging the young kid.

Shannon was Yasu's first alter.

The isolation and bullying and exhaustion of working and studying constantly made it so they were desperate for any company, encouragement and acceptance. The only kindness they had ever known had been given by coworkers. So of course they would imagine a perfect, kind and loving maid to be a friend and keep them company in the endless isolation of their lonely room.

Dissociation, the absence of awareness of what one is doing or what is going on around one, is a normal process that occurs from time to time. Fantasy stories and characters created by the preschool child often take on a separate reality. Imaginary playmates may be an enjoyable fantasy, an expansion of experience, a way to fill loneliness or boredom, or a process for working out fears and ambivalent feelings […] If, however, a child’s experience continues to be either frightening or non-supported (no soothing or opportunity to process the upsetting situations that have happened), dissociative experiences are likely to continue. As dissociation continues, more and more of the child’s perceptions, feelings, physical sensations, or knowledge of the world become stored outside active awareness and the child’s internal sense of self becomes disrupted. The perceptions, feelings, and knowledge are still there—they have, after all, been sensed and processed in some form by both the brain and the body—but they are shut out of active awareness. Because this “shutout” or dissociation protects the child from negative situations, the child is less likely to develop coping mechanisms that do not damage the sense of self. Consistent learning and the building of consistent friendships are difficult for the child. If there is no intervention from supportive, consistent care-giving or therapy, this fragmentation is highly likely to continue and, in many situations, increase as the child grows up. - Sandra Wieland (Dissociation in Traumatized Children and Adolescents)

When a child is bored and left unsupported and under-stimulated they will begin to engage in their imagination. This is a natural and normal part of childhood but without consistent connections, support or care they will continue to dissociate their experiences without building a stable sense of self. These components of dissociation, compartmentalization and a lack of stable identity are what cause a child to develop DID.

Yasuda, without friends or family, was unable to establish a stable identity. In fact they were unable to establish a stable name or relationship to their own body.

Sayo Yasuda was born Lion Ushiromiya. For reasons I have decided to avoid discussing in depth, Lion, assigned male at birth, was placed into the orphanage by the head servant of the Ushiromiya family after a tragic "accident" nearly killed them as a baby and severely injured their body.

The name Yasuda was given to protect the child from their own family, the servants thought it would be kinder to have them raised as a servant than to be raised as an Ushiromiya. Due to the injuries of the child they could raise it as a woman and lowered the age of the child by 3 years to avoid the family seeing a young servant the same age or gender as a baby that died.

Within the orphanage the children are given 'blessed names' that they are called while working. They keep their true names hidden spare for those they love and trust. As Yasuda has no one who will say their name, they instead are called Shannon or 'Yasu' when she is being punished. She came to despise the name.

Shannon, the alter, is the maid that Yasu is being trained to become. The young child hearing this other name imagined it as a completely separate person.

Moreover, Yasuda was weak and exhausted from her constant school and work schedule and would often find herself drifting in and out of consciousness, letting her mind fog while she was working on tasks and forgetting things. A common enough experience within dissociation that I need not elaborate in this essay.

The eldest maid of the island, Kumasawa, would tell local folklore and tall tales, spinning tales like a grandmother would to their grandchild. The tales of a shrine that sealed an evil demon, a ghost of Beatrice the family head's deceased mistress whose spirit is said to reside in the sealed off VIP room.

In time Yasu began believing in this lore and began blaming her forgetfulness and losing track of keys and cleaning items on the ghost. On Beatrice.

In the face of abuse and neglect, especially at the hands of those they love, children need enough psychological distance from what is happening to avoid being overwhelmed and survive psychologically intact. Preserving some modicum of self-esteem, attachment to family, and hope for the future requires victims to disconnect from what has happened, doubt or disremember their experience, and disown the “bad [victim] child” to whom it happened as “not me.” By holding out some sense of themselves as “good” disconnected from how they have been exploited, abused children capitalize on the human brain’s innate capacity to split or compartmentalize. That “good child” might be precociously mature, sweet and helpful, perfectionistic, self-critical, or quiet and shy, but, most importantly, he or she has a way to be acceptable and safer in an unsafe world. Splitting or fragmenting in this way is an ingenious and adaptive survival strategy—but one with a steep price. To ensure that the rejected “not me” child is kept out of the way (i.e., out of consciousness) requires that, long after the traumatic events are over, individuals must continue to rely on dissociation, denial, and/or self-hatred for enforcing the disconnection. In the end, they have survived the failure of safety, the abuse, and betrayal at the cost of disowning their most vulnerable and most wounded selves. Aware that their self-presentation and ability to function is only one piece of who they really are, they now feel fraudulent. Struggling to stay away from the “bad” side and identify with the good side, they have a felt sense of “faking it,” “pretending,” or of being what others want them to be. For some, this conviction of fraudulence engenders resentment; for some, shame and self-doubt. For both groups, the legacy of the trauma remains alive rather than resolved. - Janina Fischer (Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors)

Yasu disowns her experiences so well that when she is punished for not doing her job completely or misplacing items that she zoned out on and lost track of. Over time the existence of this ghost. Of this witch became a firm fact and thus the witch, the ghost of the family head's mistress looking for a body, came to possess Sayo. At first it was misplacement, but as the teasing and bullying persisted she began to believe this witch was real and picking on her. So the witch became real and it began happening.

"This isn't the first time this has happened. Whenever I look away, ...keys, handkerchiefs, pencils, erasers...all of them vanish almost right away. Even though I was planning to use them later, or just wanted to put them in their proper place, they disappear as soon as I turn around. It isn't someone hiding them as a prank. It's happened many times when I'm the only person around. ...Everyone always says I'm too careless and forgetful, they laugh at me... get mad at me. I do try to be alert, but like some kind of bad joke, I lose things easily when I forget about them for even a short while.So, sometimes, I think 'this eraser is gonna disappear sooner or later', and I stare at it. But at those times alone, it doesn't disappear. Nothing disappears when I'm alert.But as soon as I think I'm safe, and the tension relaxes just a bit, then something else will disappear...! Why is it always me?"

The second of Yasu's many alters was born of her shame and frustration. She was only 9 years old and expected to work as an adult while enduring schooling with no friends or familial love.

Having trained herself to imagine the shape of entities not of the natural world, she gives shape to the witch.

"Without turning around, ...I slowly let my range of vision fill the entire chapel. It was as though the viewpoint of my soul was floating out from the shell of my head. ...See? ...Inch by inch, ...my range of vision is floating out of my head..... and drifting upwards. As I looked down at myself, standing there with head hanging and eyes tightly shut... The eyes of my heart....very slowly.... rose to the ceiling of the chapel. And when I looked down from there... I saw myself, standing in the center of the chapel, ...and the witch standing behind me."

This is the experience of dissociation. Particularly in children. To disconnect from the events of the moment and what is going on in our own body and "examine" the area surrounding us. Many have described it as viewing the world through a floating camera.

Our own imagination is painted in this way. Our old therapist, while diagnosing us, noted that the way we described locations in memories was a big hint to them that it was what we were experiencing.

In making friends with the witch, Yasu had a new friend. To one side the ideal maid, Shannon, and the other the witch Beatrice who pranked people by stealing items or leaving windows open. In reality Yasu would switch to Beatrice and play pranks on the other servants. Many would not even believe that it could be the meek and timid girl, especially as she grew older and became more capable as a maid at the house. A mixture of confidence and an interest in mystery novels allowed these pranks to become all the more believable. The servants were mean to Yasu or claimed witches do not exist and then Beatrice would punish them with pranks.

A small start but for the first time in her life a part of the system had a way at lashing out at a world that was so cruel to them and the myth of the witch began to spread through the serving staff and as the superstition grew, the myth continued to grow. Beatrice, both demon of the island and ghost of the master's dead mistress as a single entity, became a known superstition, acknowledged on the island.

"Everything went completely white, and my mind stopped. Once again, that tingling sensation slid up my body. I could feel it all gather in the fingers of both my hands... and come out the tips of my fingers. It was unfathomable, indescribable, ...unknown sensation. My head went blank, and I couldn't think at all. I could do nothing but abandon my soul to the sensation."

From a first person perspective we get to see Yasu switch into Beatrice and punish her fellow servant by stealing her keyring and hiding it.

It's here I address the original thesis of the article a moment. Why is it that this game's use of the murder alter trope is so acceptable and praiseworthy to me when I despise it being used in any other media.

Firstly, I want to address the name Sayo Yasuda. In most of the media mentioned prior to the readmore the identity of the killer personality and the existence of DID is hidden until the final act. Here, we are learning of the existence of DID at the end of the story but we had been introduced to all the alters in the system.

Spare for Yasuda herself. This chapter she is being introduced to us along with her condition and it is not in the way of revealing that the entity known as Beatrice is a dissociated personality. We are taken through a history that justifies the existence of a dissociative disorder and shown how one experiences the symptoms. We are introduced to forgetfulness and zoning out long before we are introduced to other identities as voices that Yasu communicates with and this, deep into chapter 7 of 8, is the first time we have a switch described from a first person perspective.

Though the groundwork of dissociative disorders have been long established. In the essay about Ange Ushiromiya's trauma memories. we spoke about how Ange had learned to maintain alters in her own mind and Maria's personality shifts had been seeded as early as the first chapter.

The existence of DID was not treated as a reveal either in narrative or psychologically. It was carefully presented with respect to the symptoms of people who live with the disorder and treated with care.

DID is not an excuse for the killing. So the minority being a culprit is not stigmatizing, the author has understanding of the disorder and depicts it with kindness.

But that only handles one of our issues with the trope. So it is not wheeled out as a last minute twist and it depicts the disorder with stunning accuracy.

But still, the idea of a murder alter is an ugly and repulsive thing and even here in stealing keys Yasu is abdicating responsibility to this witch. One of the other things that I hated about the trope was the motive being excused because of trauma and responsibility falling to an 'evil personality' that the innocent host cannot control and so far the game appears to be committing both of those sins.

...well, let's continue...

Upon experiencing the power of 'magic' when Beatrice possessed her, Yasu tells Shannon that she no longer wants to live as a servant but wants to become a witch like Beatrice. She decides to become the witch Beatrice.

The witch above is renamed to Gaap and the alter who had the name she hated, Yasu, takes the name of Beatrice the Golden Witch for herself, imagining her new form and changing her behaviors to match, taking on the voice of a lady of high station and decides on weaknesses such as seeing her reflection.

In DID there are no 'original selves' or 'real one'. We spoke about this a bit during our essay on Mr. Robot.

A "host" simply refers to the part that is most active within the system. In her book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors, Janina Fisher describes the "host" personality as the most predominant "going about normal life" part. There is no original because the child failed to integrate a stable personality and the "going about normal life" part Fisher describes by definition is a dissociated part unaware of the impact the trauma holds on the nervous system.

It is so important in treatment to understand that all alters in a system are real and equally as important to the functioning of the whole. I bring this up the character we are following had their birth name, gender and age changed by caregivers and now has voluntarily erased their own name; opting to adopt the name of Beatrice.

After co-fronting with the witch she realized how wonderful it felt to let go and not exist, to let herself exist as a magical being of imagination rather than a pitiable servant.

In real terms the traumatized part that had suffered so much retreats from reality to escape her pain, taking all of the negative experiences away from the other alters and sinking into their unconscious mind. There, inside the safety of their imagination, Beatrice begins working on creating her 'golden paradise', an internal world of dream and magic where she can safely reign as the ruler.

We know from other chapters that this coping mechanism is eventually taught from Beatrice to Maria and then from Maria to Ange. If generational trauma is the theme of Umineko then generational healing is too and Ryukishi is well aware that the imagination is a powerful shield for those most hurt by the world.

In changing her 'form', Shannon was left as the new host of the system and as Shannon had never met Beatrice, the dissociative barriers between the parts solidified and Shannon is left alone.

The scene where Shannon fronts for the first time, alone and confused is truly emotional. She is confused by the inconsistencies in her understanding of the world and slowly starts rationalizing. Had she always been alone? In a single bed? She begins adopting traits that Yasu had embodied when she was the host, such as a love of mystery novels. Speaking to herself until she falls asleep.

Shannon was the name of the servant and earlier in the story we learned her real name was Sayo. She adopts the 'legal identity' and the one who had been fronting the entire time until this point opts to exist within the night, pranking the house and keeping the myth of Beatrice alive.

If the responsibility and agency of DID depictions in media was an issue to overcome then here we see that though there are barriers of dissociation between the parts, Beatrice and her pranks are not evil in nature and we see that in all her parts there is communication and genuine care within the system.

Which brings us to motive.

In bad media the culprit is unsympathetic and driven to wanton crime for little reason other than "hurt people kill people" which is inaccurate and a dangerous thing to imply.

Shannon continues working on, unaware of her history as Yasu and the bullying that she had endured when she was younger. She has a hobby of reading mystery novels and speaks about them with the head maid. She sometimes gets praise from the head servant. She's happy.

Right?

But the loneliness had not been dealt with. The Ushiromiya family were still cruel to her. Though Shannon is an ideal maid by design and convinced herself to be happy with her lot in life the unchanged circumstances still trigger the pain that her heart ached and called for salvation.

And so Beatrice's presence makes itself known again within their shared mind and Shannon began imagining a rose garden where the golden witch would share tea with her. She wanted to allow Shannon to join her in the "world of witches", "the golden land" an innerworld she built within their mind.

Shannon rejects the offer, as if such a thing could be and leads Beatrice to become curious as to what could possibly be worth living for in the real world.

There Shannon, with Beatrice in the back of their shared mind, witnesses the Ushiromiya Family Conference where all members of the family gather, including the grandchildren of the family head and there Beatrice witnesses Shannon forming a relationship bonding over mystery novels with the series protagonist Battler, 6 years before the massacre.

The pair discuss their love of novels and in that conversation the mutual understanding of both the fictional characters and the author is that a murder should have a passionate motive.

Shannon takes on Battler's perspective and begins reading all of the books that Battler enjoys, completely infatuated with him. The pair got to have a short fling. Every time Battler visited the island they would talk about their shared passion and enjoy the time stolen. It couldn't work in long distance. Battler says that when Shannon quits service of the family she can come to him out in the world.

Battler promises he will ride in on a white horse and save her from a lifetime of servitude.

Beatrice understands instantly.

"It takes two to create a universe" magic must be shared and love is the most important element. Something that even the endless witch Beatrice cannot create with her magic. It is the first time in their shared life that the system formerly known as Sayo Yasudo has been offered love from another human.

She's enraptured by it.

...and then in the time between visits, Battler's mother passes away suddenly and his father instantly marries his mistress who he secretly fathered a daughter with while married. Battler is disgusted by his father and leaves the family, abandoning Shannon.

Beatrice, wounded for the part of her in deep pain, pulls Shannon into the innerworld and comforts her; telling her that she needs to succeed at a trial to have faith and wait for Battler to return. That if she doubts him then he will not come. She even argues that Battler leaving the Ushiromiya family was an attempt to make it so that he could marry her without the family name being an obstacle.

Magical Thinking is a symptom of dissociative disorders where the mind generates beliefs between unrelated events despite the absence of any plausible causal link between them. Much of the effects of DID, particularly during the denial phase, are born from the ability to rationalize inconsistencies and inconvenient truths in the shared life.

In this case the idea of losing the love that was offered to them for the first time in their life was more than they could handle and thus they chose to believe that it was still there and that if they held faith and waited it would come to them.

When one dissociates from their emotions they are able to rationalize and intellectualize their situations and continue their trained habit of enduring. When Shannon's ability to rationalize the years of silence fails she blames herself, as she is able to rationalize and intellectualize her own actions and has no way of knowing Battler's. Thus if she blames it on her lack of faith she can hold to hope and endure the years.

But the trials continue.

Letters are delivered from Battler to everyone at the family conference. Shannon is neither mentioned nor receives a letter at all (there is a possibility that George destroyed it, but that is a theory). Her faith shakes but the bud of love in her heart simply cannot die.

...and now the love that had once given Shannon so much hope and life had become yet another source of pain and trauma and so once again Beatrice reached into Shannon's heart and claimed the bud of love. She would take it into herself, another trauma for her to hold. Leaving Shannon confused, disorientated but happy again.

In order to keep Shannon's heart saved from pain she created a new alter, a brother named Kanon.

Kanon would be a quiet and guarded boy who was deeply protective of Shannon and who shielded his own heart. Born wary of other people and their motives. He will make for a calloused heart.

Shannon once again allows her mind to dissociate from the pain in her heart and once again became an ideal maid, free from the hurt of her past or the love.

In 1984 Kinzo, knowing he is to die soon, commissions a painting of his former love, the original Beatrice, with an epitaph that once solved would lead someone to the family fortune and chose who would be the inheritor of the family after he dies.

At least this is what the family were lead to believe. It is theorized in universe that Kinzo had come to recognize that his child/grandchild was alive and in the house and wanted to apologize to her and thus make up for the sins he had committed against his mistress and their daughter.

Another part of the tragedy was sealed the moment Kinzo began this process.

With the help of Genji, who knew their birth identity, Beatrice solves the riddle and becomes the inheritor of the family fortune... and she is also given the truth to their birth, their original name and the identity of their father and grandfather.

During the entire sequence the child of many names is disconnected, overwhelmed, confused and not able to summon the confidence of her witch self. She cannot bring herself to take the seat at the head of the family and asks that the servants of the island pretend nothing had happened, opting instead to continue waiting for Battler.

It was said that if Battler did not show up to the island in 1986 or showed up a year earlier or later then the tragedy would have been avoided.

But as it stands. Tragedy was inevitable.

Beatrice largely goes into dormancy after inheriting the family fortune, choosing to let Shannon and Kanon continue their life on the island. Searching and waiting for the magic that is beyond her, Love.

And so we get the events at the start of Chapter 2 and 3.

Shannon and Kanon are living as servants of the family as the tensions between siblings becomes more and more tense. But as time goes on Kanon and Jessica, who lives on the island, become closer... and George proposes to Shannon.

The first 2 hours of chapter 2 depict Shannon, a being who has made to think of herself as nothing more than furniture for the family to use, feeling love bloom in her heart and despair over the fact that the Ushiromiya family would never allow her to marry, filling her ears with poison and abuse; as the family speak of a political marriage with George and Shannon's heart is threatened with heartbreak again she calls out to the witch Beatrice and the alter in her heart awakens again to comfort and guide her.

If Battler showed up a year earlier then Beatrice would have reconnected with him and she would have been able to use the family fortune to ride off with him. If he showed up a year later then she would have married George.

But in showing up while Shannon was trying to handle being proposed to. While Kanon was growing close to Jessica. While all futures existed within the catbox at once. Each member of the system has adapted their personality to suit their partner. Shannon is the type of woman George would enjoy. Beatrice becomes the exact type of brash woman Battler enjoys and Kanon was the aloof and distant type Jessica would love.

Only one of these futures could possibly exist.

Every member of the system is marked by their inability to change their fate, even when handed the opportunity. Since birth they have only been able to act as a servant, as furniture and dive into escapism and magic to cope. The pain was not simply the pain of the heart. It was of being alone. It was of being bullied. Of being disregarded. Ignored. Forgotten.

When presented with the gold and the headship of the family the system, we shall revert to calling them Yasu, were unable to risk confrontation with the family. Much akin to Marta in Knives Out, she was a servant being offered a vast fortune with a hostile and abusive family who would never accept her position and so she backed down and didn't risk further pain.

I said earlier that victims of abuse and neglect are more likely to be victims than the perpetrators of violence. Here Beatrice, formed from stories of ghosts, demons and murder mysteries, retreats into fantasy but she actually has the unlimited resources; the "golden magic" to make her schemes a reality and so she attempts to do so as a form of escapism, as a way of letting the "roulette wheel" select her fate as the system are unable to decide for themselves.

We never know for certain what happens in the catbox, though Eva's journal does give us some clarity. We can say for sure, based on the survivor's testimony, that Yasu didn't go through with it. We never find out if they ever could have outside of dreaming. For all their posturing and posing, they were just an abused child desperate for family and love and freefalling into complete despair.

At the end of the day Beatrice is sympathetic, she experiences accurate symptoms of a dissociative disorder, we get to know her alters and understand their motivations and outlooks and her choice to kill the Ushiromiya family is not informed by her condition.

The fact she never successfully kills anyone in the (most likely) true version of the Rokkenjima massacre, she simply cannot bring herself to follow through when presented with the reality of her schemes, does not change the fact that she planned out the massacre and her actions did trigger the tragedy.

Beatrice The Golden Witch is the only murder alter I respect. But she is also an (attempted) murderer who just happens to be an alter. Those two statements have nothing to do with one another.

Though her motive is based upon the pain of her life, she is not a killer for the fun of it and is far from a homicidal maniac. She has a heart. A large heart.

And I respect the fuck out of her.

-

Lowkey this one wasn't my best work, especially after the ISaT entry raised the bar so high for us. Umineko is a fairly dense work and I have been struggling for months to find the words after promising to write about it in the first Murder Alter essay and teasing it in the Ange one. In the end I just decided to get it out.

Thank you for reading.

For more media essays on Dissociative Disorders please check out Media, Myself and I tag or check out the following articles:

Accepting Trauma Memories in Mr. Robot Time Loops and Dissociation (In Stars and Time) A History of Murder Alters Discworld and Plurality Incidental, intentional and accidental representation Gender, Dissociation and Clinical Stigma in The Third Person Recontextualized Memories in Umineko Derealization in Night in the Woods and Metal Gear Solid The Dangers of Hypnotic Personality Play in Penlight System Origins in The Incredible Hulk Relationships with Systems in The Incredible Hulk The Healing Journey in Mr. Robot

[goingmerryfics]

Affection & PDA w/ Smoker, Corazon, & Robin

Content: Gender neutral reader as always. Lots of fluff here! 

Notes* I NEVER POSTED THIS??? I WROTE THIS IN THE BEGINNING WEEK OF MY BLOG??

Smoker

Smoker loves to be affectionate with you. He’s most comfortable when he’s able to touch you in one way or another, and he most definitely will keep you trapped in his arms for as long as he can get once you’re there

He’s not shy in telling people you’re his person, but he also isn’t very comfortable being too lovey in public

He’s got an image to maintain as a Marine soldier, and he’d rather not have you shadowing him on the job both for his own focus and for your safety

The exception is if you crossed paths while he’s on his patrol around town, of course. He’ll light up when he sees you and ask what you’re doing out, and after a quick conversation he’d be just fine kissing you good-bye and promising to see you later. Tashigi makes a comment at how his cheeks have a tint to them, and he’ll grumble something under his breath along the lines of ‘stop talking’

If you’re in public and he’s off the job, he’s got no problem holding your hand as you walk together, kissing your cheek or sitting close together to share a drink

All that to say moderate PDA is fine

Smoker’s favorite way to show affection is to lie on the couch with you with you on top, head on his chest while he plays with your hair or rubs your back- whatever you’re more comfortable with

Of course he also loves to kiss you anywhere and everywhere he can get. Cheeks, especially

He peppering you with kisses and watching you laugh and try to squirm away from him

He’ll get super embarrassed if you two get caught, though

Corazon

Cora is also someone who is very affectionate with his partner, so much so that they are usually covered in lipstick smudges

His favorite spots to kiss are your nose, lips and neck and they are usually stained with his signature colour

He has definitely taken you down with him a few times while trying to give you kisses

Neither of you is really sure how you two ended up toppling over while you weren’t even moving

He’s not shy to show you off to people, either. Unlike Smoker, he doesn’t care who knows about your relationship

But years of living with a certain someone’s attitude has made him wary

Cora pours his heart and soul into the people he loves, and he doesn’t like to share

He knows all too well the manipulation tactics his brother could impose on you to make you feel bad, or worse- to sway you into his arms instead

I fully believe Doffy would steal Cora’s partners. I haven’t seen Cora’s episodes yet so who knows how accurate this is but I’m sticking to it

Cora is extremely possessive over you. So being publicly affectionate with you only comforts him in knowing that everyone believes you’re his

His favorite thing to do is to pick you up, your legs wrapped around his torso, pressing kisses all over you

It doesn’t happen often with how many times he’s dropped you or himself, though

Corazon would love surprise kisses

When you’re alone, he’ll ramble on and on about how he feels about you, all sorts of sweet things

Robin

Robin is not shy about giving you affection, but she is classy with it

With her Devil Fruit powers, she can reach you anywhere to hold your hand or give you some sweet touches

Her preferred method of showing you love, in her motherly fashion, is to gently caress your cheek with the back of her hand

She’ll also keep an arm around your waist or shoulders, knowing how the feeling of being held is comforting to you

She’s comfortable giving you quick kisses and loving words in front of the crew, but in a public setting- especially when you’re all new to the area, she’ll go as far as holding your hand and that’s about it

The best time to give her affection is while you’re out on the sea

Lazy days in the sun, just sitting together while she reads, your head in her lap while she swipes her thumb over your cheek in soft, slow motions

It would be very easy to fall asleep there if it weren’t for the chaos of the rest of the crew

Robin will welcome affection anytime, too. No matter what she’s doing on the ship, as long as she’s in a good mood, if you sneak up behind her and wrap your arms around her or lean down to kiss her cheek in passing, she’ll always end up smiling to herself 

Robin isn’t used to being treated kindly- at least in a physical sense. It took her forever to learn to trust the crew to that point, and a little longer with you because of how intimate your relationship was. So having gotten to this point where you two are happily able to share these precious moments is very important to her

[vienssunshine]

Comfortable?

pairing: Maki Zenin x Reader nsfw word count: 1k content warning: suggestive physical touch/speech, alcohol/drunkenness author’s note: Rewatching season one to prepare for the pain of season two. At least there's Maki!

A layer of haze separates you from the lively party that's taken over Panda’s dorm room. You sway along with the music, basking in the delightful, buzzing warmth that fills your chest. 

However, when the glass bottle centered in the circle of your sorcerer friends spins and stills pointed in your direction, you sober up.

Nobara squeals, clapping her hands together. “Yes! It hasn’t been their turn in forever!”

“I don’t think they’ve gone once,” Megumi comments, taking a sip from his drink. 

"So what will it be?" Nobara asks you, "Truth? Or dare?” 

The first-years are great, but it’s hard to have high expectations for the truths or the dares they’ll ask of you, especially when this is their first party ever. You finish what's left of your seltzer. “Easy, dare.”

“Salmon.” Toge gives an approving nod. 

“What’re you gonna dare ‘em to do?” Itadori exclaims, leaning over Megumi to face Nobara, his eyes wide. 

“I don’t know! What do you think?” she responds with an enthusiastic grin. 

“Calm down, you’re gonna spill my drink,” Megumi groans, pushing a too-eager Itadori out of his personal space.

“This dare better not be as lame as the last ones,” Maki says, sitting back on her hands.

“You might be asking too much,” you say, and she returns the grin you give her, sending a flash of heat through your body.

“Fine,” Nobara scowls, “We’ll come up with a good one.” 

Itadori and Nobara crawl behind Megumi and begin to furiously whisper to each other. So much talking and they’ll probably just ask you to prank call Gojo or chug the rest of your drink. You’d be fine with anything, as long as it doesn't involve her. 

Your eyes run over Maki, she’s leaning back on her palms with a beer by her side. There’s a pink flush spread across her elegant features, no doubt from the impressive amount of alcohol she’s consumed tonight. She looks more entertained than usual as she watches Nobara and Itadori wrap up their debate. You realize you’ve been staring when her golden eyes catch yours, so you divert your gaze, instead looking over to the scheming first-years. When you do, the evil smiles spread across their faces make you question your selection of 'dare'.

The warning glare you give Nobara does nothing to stop her from gleefully announcing the product of their discussion: “Your dare is to sit in Maki’s lap for the rest of the game!” 

To anyone else, the dare is mild, only a little more scandalous than the ones they’ve given so far, and yet, it sends a panicked thrum of your heart splintering through your body. You quickly strangle the sensation; you’re in front of everyone—in front of Maki—so you have to play it cool. With a roll of your eyes, you respond, “C’mon, that was the best you could come up with?” like the request was as boring as heading to the kitchen and grabbing someone another drink. 

“Yep. It’s the dare we chose,” Nobara responds, too smug for your liking.

Pushing down a retort—it would only raise suspicion—you cross the circle of your jeering peers over to Maki. She's sitting on the floor with her legs spread wide and watching you move closer, her gaze piercing. You stop right in front of her; you’re not sure how to go about this.

The smirk that’s been present since the dare was revealed hasn’t wavered. “Go on, you can sit down,” she says.

“You got it!” Panda cheers.

“Shouldn’t be hard, right?” Nobara chimes in.

“Not hard at all,” you respond. You press your lips together, turn, and lower yourself to the ground between Maki’s thighs, sitting cross-legged. Satisfied, the onlookers turn their attention to the next victim of the bottle, Panda. 

Unlike them, you can’t just move on from the dare, you’re required to sit in Maki’s lap for the rest of the game which, though you worked hard to not betray it, is a lot for you. 

Already you’re having so much trouble. You’re in shorts, so you can feel the fabric of Maki’s cargo pants on your knee. And through that fabric, you can feel the thick muscle of Maki’s thighs. Worse, if you move back any further you’d-

Maki takes the weight off her hands and sits up, pressing her chest to your back. Your eyes widen as her hands thread underneath your arms so they’re resting in your lap, fingertips just barely grazing the exposed skin of your thighs.

“Comfortable?” Maki whispers the words centimeters from your ear. You tighten up, overwhelmed by her sudden closeness. It feels like her body is surrounding yours. 

Thankfully, after a second, you remember how to breathe, and then how to talk. “Yeah, I’m fine. Uh, is this okay for you?” 

“More than okay,” she responds. 

Your mind is spinning, but, at the same time, there’s a tingly, giddy sensation filling your stomach, a reminder of how you’ve wanted this, wanted her. 

“Then, is it okay”—you cover her hand with yours, committing it to your thigh and guiding it closer to the space between your legs—“if I do this?”

With her mouth so close to your ear, you can hear her breath hitch at your daring. 

“You’re teasing me, pretty girl,” she purrs.

“Like you haven’t done the same to me?” you retort, looking over your shoulder with a smirk. You note that the flush on Maki’s face has deepened despite her not having drank anything more. 

“Alright, then let’s settle this,” she challenges.

“Fine, let’s,” you agree before turning back to the group, saying, “I’ll be right back."

"You're not copping out on the dare, are you?" Nobara frowns.

"Nope, just going to the bathroom.” 

You untangle yourself from Maki’s arms, get up from the floor, and head down the hall. When you glance behind you, heat twists in your stomach as you see that Maki has excused herself from the party as well and is following you to the bathroom, her cat-like eyes hungry for more. 

[goodeapple]

one more cregan crumb from you.. PLEAK 🙏🏼🙏🏼

if i must 😔✋

“everyone is around here somewhere. i think all that’s left is my sister.” jace says, dropping his duffel next to the couch before flopping down on it with a heavy sigh.

cregan grabs the framed picture off the side table, looking at the pre-pubescent faces of the targaryen kids. jace is all sunburnt baby fat, and luke’s curls are a mop on his head. little joff is splayed out on the quilt they're all sat upon, tucked carefully between his siblings' knobby knees. the only girl, ysilla, smiles with all her teeth and throws up a peace sign with her left hand. it was taken at the summer place they have in pentos- jace had brought him along on holiday last june. 

"the last piece on the targ chessboard. can't say i'm not kinda excited to meet her." the northman hums, setting the picture back with careful fingers, the heavy crystal frame threatening to tumble from his grip.

jace looks at him oddly before recognition dawns on his face. "i always forget you two've never met. which is kinda crazy because my sister's my rock. she's been there for everything."

cregan admires the unity of his friend's family. they're all joined at the hip- heart on their sleeves, everything laid bare for each other to pick and tear apart, but they don't. they love with a tenderness that cregan can't begin to understand. feelings, especially talk of feelings is far from a northern custom.

"only girl outta all you boys- poor lass probably ran away to join the silent sisters." cregan japes, collapsing into the plush sofa with a pleased groan. he hates traveling when it's hot (he's not built for it).

jace snorts, face shoved into a pillow. "yeah right, they'd kick her arse out."

somewhere in the spacious estate, a heavy door slams and syrax and caraxes go barking mad.

"im home! where is everybody!" a clear chiming bell of a voice echos cathedral-like from the foyer.

jace pops up like a fresh daisy. "silli! come 'ere, want you to meet someone."

cregan feels oddly nervous as he catches the fall of footsteps coming up the hall. his heart hammers thickly in his chest as a figure appears in the doorway, sliding into place like she's always been there.

"creg, man, this is my older sister, ysilla. 'silla, this is my best mate, cregan stark."

small fuckin' world.

cregan makes his legs work before his mouth can catch up. he rises, knees like jelly in a jar and edges in for a handshake. ysilla regards with him a careful, calculating look, shock clinging to the edges of her expressive eyes, but meets him halfway.

"pleased to meet ya."

"pleasure's all mine... i've heard so much about you... cregan."

the halloween playlist hooked up to the aux is playing "thriller" for the third time in a row and it would be beyond irritating if it wasn't doing a fantastic job of muffling the pleased moans and whimpers coming out of the coat closet.

"sssooo good, seven hells." the girl purrs, rocking forward on cregan's lap with steady swells of her hips.

floris always throws quite the celebration, but cregan's never had this good of a time.

they've been dancing together all night, a spark ignited between two strangers, kindled by jungle juice and floris' remark of ohhhh my gosh, little red riding hood and the big bad wolf! you two would just make the cutest couple! he hadn't even caught her name- a real one that is, but 'little red' would do in a pinch.

"you're a loud little thing." he whispers at her ear, the guava in her lotion sticky on his tongue from where he'd licked the sweet dip of her shoulder.

"mmm, i can't help it. you have a really nice dick." the cinnamon on her breath from the firewhiskey shots they shared make her kisses melt like butter. cregan dips his tongue into her mouth and takes a sip.

"wait 'till i give it to ya from behind."

"doggystyle, eh?" little red giggles, then gasps as cregan curls his grip over the top of her thighs, dragging her deeper onto his cock. the low rumbling coming from his chest booms like thunder. he's more of a hands on kind of man but he'll take this and die happy.

"gotta live up to my namesake." he unties the knot keeping the ruby red cloak over her shoulders. it sheds itself in a crimson wave, the heavy velvet gliding down her bare skin like ribbon off of a present. his present, one he doesn't intend to spoil.

the big bad wolf, even with carpet burn on his cheeks.

jace looks at ysilla expectantly, blinking at her in that well? kind of way.

"what?" she snaps. he gives her a funny look, shouldering past her with an irritated huff, and repeats himself as he disappears down the hall.

"creg's stayin' with us for the rest of the summer. he's gonna crash in the room next to your's, mum wanted me to give you a heads up. be nice."

the silence between the two not-so strangers is every bit of uncomfortable as you'd think it'd be.

"guess we're neighbors." ysilla murmurs, her tone one of resigned acceptance.

"looks that way." cregan catches her eye and holds it. i can go. he tries to say without speaking. i'll fib to jace and get the fuck out of your house in no time flat, just say the word.

the silence returns and he won't lie- he checks her out. it's such a shame he met her under the glow of dimly lit jack-o-lanterns and purple string lights, because if he thought she was beautiful then, she's a fucking knockout now.

"if you ever need a cup of sugar, just knock on my door." ysilla jokes dryly, an olive branch, complete with her sincere/bashful grin that crackles warmth through the ice in his veins.

"just don't huff and puff and blow my house down, alright?" with a mischievous smirk and a matching wink, she leaves him grinning like a fool. he's staying through october, jace already planning a party to end all other halloween ragers.

maybe cregan and ysilla can make a tradition out of it all.

"you got it, little red."

.

[sl-ut]

sweet cliches

THE FRIENDZONE

pairing: college!abby anderson x fem!reader

description: y/n thinks that abby may have trapped her in the friendzone, and begins to fear that it is far too late to escape.

warnings: VERY QUICKLY AND NOT VERY WELL EDITED, light smut, anxiety, fear of unrequited feelings, reader is a needy hoe, abby is a dommy mommy, swearing

words: 2.1K

date posted: 03/08/23

more college!abby

In general, Y/n was very secure within herself. Of course, she had experienced her fair share of insecurities and would certainly like to change a few things about herself, but wasn’t that the case with all girls in their early-to-mid twenties? She didn’t think herself to be anything special; not the smartest, funniest, or prettiest girl around, but she also didn’t think that any of those things might have made her blind to the fact that her own feelings could have potentially been unrequited. Until she met Abby. 

Abby had been on her radar for around a year before they had even formally met. Y/n was fortunate enough to have had an in with a few of the girls on the cheer team, making the cut with the kind of ease that freshman were scarcely offered. For anyone around campus, it was impossible to not not know Abby’s name and face at the very least–as the school’s star athlete, she was plastered on posters, billboards, and the school’s Instagram for everyone to see, though it was even more impossible for those who were involved in the athletics department to ignore her six-foot tall frame as she barrelled down the lacrosse field, expertly weaving through the opposing team’s defence and hurling the ball into the net with frightening strength. 

It had only taken half a practice for Y/n to be completely enamoured with the upperclassman. She spent the following weeks discreetly finding out little things about her; she was from Salt Lake City, she was in her junior year of Biology with a minor in Classic Lit, and kept to herself more than Y/n would have expected from someone so popular–this, she had determined from the fact that she had only been able to find out very general details about her even from Mel and Nora, who both ran in the same friend group as Abby. 

Nora had quickly taken a liking to Y/n, referring to her almost exclusively as my freshie around their teammates. Y/n honestly did like Nora, and had become somewhat friends with her before she even laid eyes on Abby, but she couldn’t help but wish that she would introduce the two without having to ask her. Hell, she didn’t even know for sure if Abby even liked girls, especially because the only previous relationship she had heard about was with a man. She also didn’t want to let on to Nora that she was interested in her friend in fear of making her believe that she was using her in any way. So, after a long internal debate, she decided that she was going to stick it out until fate came into play. 

The moment finally came early on during Y/n’s sophomore year. A few of Nora’s friends were hosting a party to celebrate the start of the lacrosse season, and of course she would extend the invitation to her own teammates. Y/n hadn’t even expected to see Abby that night, considering that she rarely made appearances at any big parties that Y/n had been to, but the moment that Nora had waved her over to join them on the couch, she couldn’t help but pray that she wouldn’t somehow embarrass herself in front of the intimidating blonde. 

As it would turn out, Abby’s head had begun to spin the moment that Nora had introduced them, her stormy blue eyes following the outline of her back as their mutual friend dragged her away and into the crowd of the make-shift dance floor. The day that she walked into the coffee shop and noticed who was standing in front of her, her heart almost beat out of her chest. She had stood there for a few moments, figuring out how exactly she would approach her without coming off as a creep–though Y/n probably would have folded no matter how she did it. Then, after the brief, but very enlightening conversation, Abby couldn’t wait any longer and asked Nora for her number.

Fast forward two weeks, there was hardly a moment where they weren’t either hanging out, texting, or Facetiming one another. Y/n was initially feeling very certain that Abby was at the very least wanting to hook up with her; when they were together, she was constantly making up excuses to have an arm around her shoulders or a hand on her leg, and when they were apart, she was quick to text back and was always interested in what Y/n had to say. All of the signs were there, but why wasn’t Abby making a move? In other situations, Y/n would have had no issue taking the bull by the horns, but she couldn’t help but fear that Abby might have been looking for nothing more than a friend. 

But how could she only view her as a friend when she treats her like so much more? At parties, her eyes were constantly scanning the crowd for her, pushing her way through the crowd in an instant the moment that she lays her eyes on her figure. When they were together, she treated her like she was the only person in the world that mattered, and always seemed to treat her differently than she would treat her other friends. They had to be something more by this point, but she just couldn’t figure out why she was so hesitant to make a move. 

Even now, as she was tucked into her side in the comfort of Abby’s apartment, the older girl’s arm curled around her shoulders securely as she watched the television screen intently, Y/n was entirely too self conscious of the fact that this was certainly not something that platonic friends would do. She couldn’t help but watch Abby out of the corner of her eye, catching every flicker of emotion that crossed her features. The film had been on for almost an hour and a half by this point, and it was quite possibly the most boring, uneventful movie she had ever seen. 

“Something on my face, pretty?”

Y/n’s cheeks warmed with embarrassment, obviously having been caught staring despite her every effort of discretion. She shook her head quickly, turning her gaze back to the film on the screen to avoid the sky blue hues of Abby’s eyes. The bulge of her bicep clenched behind her head, nudging her to face her once again. 

“No,” she muttered, “Just thinkin’.”

“Thinking about…” Abby prompted, raising her brows with a sly smirk appearing on her perfectly pink lips. 

“Things,” Y/n shrugged, “Papers, practice,” she hesitated before adding, “You.”

“Me?”

She shrugged again, “We’re hanging out right now, of course I’m thinking about you.”

Abby was silent for a moment, “Wanna know what I’m thinking about?”

“Eating raw meat and lifting ridiculously heavy objects?” Y/n chucking, trying to diffuse the growing tension.

“Close, but not quite.” Abby snorted, “I’m thinking about how awful this movie is.”

“Really? You’re the one who put it on.”

“Yeah, well I wasn’t expecting to actually watch it.”

A lump lodged itself into Y/n’s throat at that, leaving her entirely unsure of how to respond. 

“I was thinking about you, too, but not just because we’re hanging out. I was thinking about how pretty you look, how good you smell, how much I wanna kiss you right now.” 

The words flew out of her before she even had a chance to process them. 

“Then why don’t you?”

A moment of silence passed, and Y/n was beginning to wonder if she had crossed a boundary. Perhaps there was a reason as to why she hadn’t made a move yet, something of good reason that prevented her from doing so. Then the moment was over, and the distance between their lips had closed.

Abby’s lips were softer than she had imagined, though she should have suspected as much considering that the woman was virtually inseparable from her chapstick, and they tasted faintly of some kind of melon and perhaps a touch of mint. Her movements were gentle, tentative and curious as she explored the opposing side of the boundary that she had finally crossed. Y/n finally responded, lips pursing against hers and moulding to her every movement. She was pliant to her desires, following Abby’s lead as she curved the large expanse of her palm around the base of her skull.

It was slow, but a silent understanding passed between the two women throughout the interaction. A small whine vibrated from Y/n’s throat, her body melting against Abby’s chest as she tugged her closer and into her lap, fingers sliding down to curl around her clothed thighs. Y/n’s chest heaved, leaning impossibly closer as she tucked one hand into the loose blonde strands at the nape of Abby’s neck, the other sliding down her front to feel the rigid expanse of her abs beneath the cotton of her t-shirt. 

“Mmm,” Abby mumbled against her lips, “Can’t believe I waited this long.”

Y/n ignored her, pressing her lips tighter against hers in desperation. She was almost embarrassed at how needy she had become so easily, completely malleable to Abby’s every will and growing even more desperate as Abby continued to babble on, instead turning her attention to kiss, bite, and suck at the pale skin of her muscular neck. 

“Didn’t wanna make you think I just wanted a hookup,” Abby muttered out, shuddering as Y/n’s teeth raked against her throat. “Hey, hey, you listening?” she pulled her back to look into her eyes, almost moaning at the sight of her hooded eyes, lips swollen and glistening with spit, “Jesus, you look so beautiful right now.”

Y/n whimpered, “Abs, please.”

“Listen,” Abby shook her head, cupping her cheek affectionately, “I like you. A lot. I didn’t wanna rush things, so don’t take this as a quick fling.”

Y/n nodded, pushing closer into Abby’s palm, “I won’t. Thought you were gonna friendzone me.”

“Me? Friendzone you?” Abby laughed, “Baby, how stupid do you think I am?”

Baby. 

Y/n shifted in her lap, “Abby, please. I don’t–I’m not trying to–I need–”

“Tell me what you need, baby.”

She could burst into tears at any moment, “You.”

The next ten minutes passed in a blur of movement and a flurry of discarded clothing, Y/n finding herself pressed into Abby’s sheets in nothing but her baby pink thong, the hulking figure of the lacrosse captain crouched over her having stripped down to her own boyshorts. 

“Who knew you would be such a needy little thing, huh?” Abby smirked down at her, fingers pinching at the hardened nipples of the girl that she’d been so patient to have. She chuckled as Y/n began to babble almost incoherently, “You need somethin’? Why don’t you just ask?”

“I need you, Abs,” she whined, pulling at her with all of the strength that she could muster to feel her lips against her once again. 

“Ah, ah,” the blonde tutted, “Gotta be more specific, pretty girl. What do you need?”

Y/n writhed beneath her, “Please touch me, please.”

“Well,” she grinned, “Since you asked so nicely.”

Abby kissed her lips quickly, chuckling as she chased after her with a whine of annoyance. The blonde pressed a trail of kisses down her body, taking special care to show some love to her breasts before moving even further south. 

“This what you need, baby?” Abby asked, hot breath fanning over her covered mound. “You want me to kiss your pretty little pussy?”

Y/n whined again and nodded anxiously as she wiggled her hips closer to her face. 

Abby leaned forward, leaving a long, soft kiss on her covered clit, basking in the mewling that she received in response, hooking a finger into the waistband of her panties and turning her gaze back up to the frazzled features of the girl below her before tugging them down to her ankles and diving face first into her.

“How’s this for being friendzoned?”

[babygirl-riley]

There was During You Pt.II

Both you and Ghost came to terms of being in love

“I’ve never fallen from quite this high. Falling into your ocean eyes.”

Warnings: fluff, establishment of relationship, mentions of sex, swearing

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst list

pt.I pt.III

You leaned back in the tub feeling the warmth of it relax your muscles. The candles flickering the darkness and the smell of lavender made you relax even more. You heard footstep approach as you felt a hand graze your cheek.

“Care for me to join love?” You opened your eyes for the beautiful caramel brown eyes looking at you. You smiled at him and shook your head. You scoot yourself up as Simon came from behind you, having himself nestled against you, wrapping his arms around you. You played with his tatted arm as you sighed in content.

Simon brought you close as he placed his lips on your shoulder. You leaned against his back even more. “You ‘ight, didn’t go too hard?” He mumbled kissing more up your neck.

You moaned quietly. “No, little sore but nothing too serious,” You chuckled as you looked over a bit to kiss his cheek. “Going rough isn’t always bad.”

He hummed into your skin as he rubbed your sides. Both of you were pent up bad, mission that almost took Soap’s and Price’s life. It was the most difficult one so far for you at least. So when Price gave the go for the task force to have a little leave, both you and Simon went to his apartment. Non stop sex for hours, he was rough against your body. Biting, small choking, his grasps harsher. You could have stopped it at anytime but it felt good everywhere. His back was also marked by you, the scratching from the pleasure that would run through your veins.

“How’s your back?” You asked moving to face him.

“Nothin’ I can’t handle,” He smiled looking at you with lidded eyes. You cupped his cheek and kissed him softly before nestling back into him. It was quiet, a good content quiet. Both of you have been together for over a year never established anything.

Simon noticed the way his actions have changed around you. He made sure you were alright during missions, make sure he was sitting next to you during debriefs, and especially making you your favorite tea he introduced you. Then going to each others flat and staying there until the next mission or work at the base. Simon has been in denial about the sudden change of feelings towards you and so have you.

Simon even noticed by the way he would feel when you looked at him. Giving him a soft smile. The flutter that would fill his chest. The way he changed his actions, being soft with you, making sure you were safe. Even the last couple of months he has taken you out for dinners, activities, or just work outs. Simon never really wanted or needed someone to be around. You. You changed that.

It was the same for you, wanting to be near him. Hear his voice. Make sure you can touch him. Simon never admitted it neither have you. But both of you have shown each other the difference. Both of you too stubborn to say anything but the shift change between the situation-ship to something more.

You noticed the small acts of service he has been doing for you. You have been doing the same, more smiling when he was around, getting excited when you see the skull mask appearing. Making sure he was fine on missions. Leaving small things at his apartment, like a toothbrush. Some clothes being left in drawers.

Simon sighed once more. “You should move in.” You mumbled, your heart rate picking up.

Simon froze from behind you, his hands stopping. You froze as well. It was a long silence before he shifted a bit. “Or you can move into mine,” He offered. “It’s a bit bigger.”

You smiled a bit. “That would be fine, my lease ends in a couple of months.” Simon hummed, going quiet again, the air feeling tense. “We don’t have to though,” You whispered could feel cold sweat starting on your forehead. “I know this is just sex and I don’t want to…”

“Ya think this is just sex?” He interrupted, his voice lowering.

You felt a hitch in your throat, is this the time? What if he runs away from you admitting what is happening is more than the sex? Or close up? Or request a move out of the 141. You inhaled and moved to turn to him. His brown eyes locking on yours, his eyes searching for the answer. His heart was beating hard enough he was sure you could hear.

Simon shouldn’t have said anything, he noticed the nervousness in your eyes. Which made him want to get up and leave entirely. Act like nothing happened. On the other hand he couldn’t move, he wanted to know what is going to be the answer.

“I,” You paused letting out a shutter. “I don’t think so,” His facial expression didn’t move from the emotion he had on originally, you couldn’t read him like this yet. You both never talked about feelings much let alone how you both feel about each other. “Simon…I have felt like this. I think it has become something more. Something that we both are scared of but I know that I am not afraid of us.”

Simon listened closely waiting for the punchline of ‘But.’ Or ‘It won’t work.’ But it never led to that, the sentence ending there. Simon glared for a moment before he inhaled. “I share the same thoughts love,” He sat up as the water moved against your bodies. “I’m…scared as well.”

He had been terrified the last couple of months. When he first realized that the feelings had changed was when your life was almost taken. Bullet just grazing your head. You knocked out from the other bullets hitting your vest, blood pooling from your head. He thought you were a goner until you all reached the medical tent. He paced, he couldn’t sleep, he could barely think as you were being worked on.

When Price came into the room with Gaz, Soap, and him. He thought you were gone but once Price said you were awake and moving. His heart skipped then leaped into full speed. When walking into the tent, he froze, everything hitting him like a freight train. You smiling at him and reaching for him. For him. That’s when he knew he was not in a friends with benefits relationship.

You smiled, the smile that always lightened his mood. The smile that right then Simon could see the light engulfing his dark thoughts of what ifs. Anyone he got this close to, to consider love for always gets taken away. He is afraid of saying it, acknowledging it but now with your comfort smile it went away.

You placed a hand on his cheek. “Me too but Si…I never have fallen this hard before. I don’t know if that scares you more than me but I have to say it I can’t…”

Before you could even finish Simon’s hand went to the back of your neck to pull into a kiss. Simon had been feeling the same way, relief engulfing his chest and veins. Finally he felt like everything was coming together. That he felt safe and loved. The kiss was passionate and basically hit the air out of you. You kissed him back, as your tongues danced against one another. It felt like your world was coming together, fitting a puzzle piece you have been so carefully making.

You didn’t know how it got to the point of you on your bed. He worshiped your body, slowly kissing your body, nipping and sucking on your favorite spots. His hands softly roaming your body. Squeezing your hips or breasts. It felt like you were on cloud 9, your body just feeling adrenaline after a work out. Simon sat back admiring your naked body on the bed. “Fuck baby, what have you done to me?” He whispered crawling back up, hovering over your body. Caging you in. Making you feel secure and safe.

You smiled up at him kissing him tenderly. You wanted this for so long, just watching Simon’s eyes soften whenever you touched him tenderly. You broke the kiss and stroke his cheek. “What have we done to each other?”

[morlao]

Manipulation

Fem!reader x Isaac Garcia

Summary:

You're struggeling to find a date for the summer ball

♡ ♡ ♡

When the teachers first announced the summer ball, you didn’t think it would be such a big deal to you.

School dances are never really that cool after all.

Especially with the teachers around who always find a way to destroy the mood: Either by constantly keeping an eye on the drinks to make sure nobody manages to slip some alcohol in, or by trying to make (really awkward) conversations with their students.

At least, that were your experiences in your former high school.

Maybe here in Colorado things are different, because somehow all of your friends are super excited.

And it´s really contagious!

To your own surprise - a few days later you are pretty excited, too.

One of the major topics among the students (other than which dress would be the perfect fit) is, of course, who will go together.

There are quite a few cute boys in your school and some of them are also very popular among the girls.

Of course most of the girls are all over Cole Walter, the cool guy, the bad boy.

This is going to be really interesting, especially because of the tension between him and Jackie. You can almost bet that he'll ask her, not caring if this will break both Erin's and Alex' heart.

In the meantime, you are secretly hoping for being asked by Isaac.

In school the both of you don't really cross paths, but whenever you visit Jackie, you always end up playing at least one video game with him. He just always seems to be there, whether you and Jackie hang out in the living room or grab some snacks from the kitchen. He appears out of nowhere and always jokes around with you.

While Jackie reacts really annoyed most of the times, you enjoy his company.

"Why is he always there? Katherine promised that we can have the living room this afternoon!"

Most of the time you just shrug. "I don't mind him staying. Maybe our movie choice will scare him away anyways."

Well, most of the time it didn't. No matter what kind of film you chose, Isaac stayed. To your surprise he didn't even play games on his smartphone but actually paid attention.

"That's the kind of films you like?" He asked you once after you and Jackie watched a sappy love story.

"Among other things, yes."

He seemed surprised but didn't say anything about it.

 

♡ ♡ ♡

The weeks pass by pretty fast and most of the handsome boys are already taken.

As far as you heard, Isaac doesn't have a date yet but with his good looks it's only a matter of time until he is taken, too.

You start to get really nervous, as you don't know what to do. Should you wait until he makes the first move - if he even plans on asking you - or should you take action yourself?

Do you even have the courage to ask someone out?

God, why does it have to be so complicated?

You think about asking your friends for their opinion, but first of all this would mean admitting your crush on Isaac to Jackie - and since she basically lives with him this would be very weird.

Second, all your friends were busy preparing their own dates. All they talk about are dresses, high heels and how their perfect evening at the ball would look like.

To be honest, they had pretty high expectations, but for them it was at least realistic.

Unlike you, Jackie doesn't give up that easily when it comes to your date.

"Someone will ask you, you'll see!", she smiles at you as you and your friends enter the ball gown shop. “You´ll regret it when someone asks you and you don´t have a dress. Trust me, the best ones will be taken in a few days.”

Damn, she can be really convincing and she knows it!

♡ ♡ ♡

Three days until the ball and still nobody even seems to think about asking you out.

Slowly you start to get really nervous.

Why does no one ask you?

You have never been insecure about your looks but this situation really makes you doubt. Are you that unattractive? Or is it your personality? Do you annoy people?

Your excitement for buying a beautiful dress and having a wonderful night slowly fades and turns into anxiety.

Why did you even buy a dress… was is arrogant to buy one without having a date, because you thought of course someone would ask you?

Jackie really tries her best to cheer you up, but nothing she says makes you feel better.

You curl up in her bed, hugging her pillow tight to your chest. “I´m not going to the ball… it´s embarrassing to show up alone…”

“I´m sure somebody will ask you. Maybe he´s just nervous.”

"Don't be ridiculous! There are only three days left. All the guys who don't have a date yet, are not going."

"Don't lose hope! Somebody will ask you for sure!"

Jackie and your other friends have been telling you the exact same thing for almost two weeks now.

In the beginning you were very confident and believed them, but with every day and as everyone else in your friend group got a date, you slowly start to lose hope.

And now you are convinced that nobody is gonna ask you.

“Maybe I´m just ugly.”

Jackie lies down next to you and pulls you into a comforting hug. “Y/N L/N, don´t you dare to even think that!”

For a while you stay quiet, trying to find comfort in Jackys words… until your thoughts mess with your head again.

But what if it´s true? What if you´re really ugly?

“I know it´s stupid”, you start again, repeating what you already said several times, “It´s just a ball, maybe I shouldn´t make such a big deal out of it.”

Jackie hugs you a little tighter, her chin resting on your shoulder. “It´s not stupid… I totally understand how you feel.”

Does she really? From what you know, Alex and Cole almost started a fight about who´s going to be her date. You can´t help but feel jealous off her. She has boys fighting over her and no one even thinks about asking you. It is like you are invisible.

Damn, seems like all your favorite high school movies lied! Just because you moved here at the beginning of the school year, it doesn´t make you more interesting among the boys.

But on the other hand… for Jacky the new girl fantasy is true.

“Hey, we can go together if you want”, Jacky starts another attempt and grabs your hand, pulling you to your feet.

A broad smile spreads across her face as she intertwines your fingers and whirls you around, pretending to be on the dance floor already. “We would definitely make the prettiest couple!”

You can´t help but laugh as you pretend to bow and place a quick kiss on her hand. “Mylady!”

This is again one of those moments, in which you realize how much you love Jackie. She is an amazing friend and probably the only one who always knows how to cheer you up.

With a grin she rises an eyebrow. “So we have a date?”

The smile disappears from your face as you sit back down on her bed. “No, I don´t want to crash your date with Alex.”

“Don´t worry about him, I´m sure, he´ll understand. I can go out with him another time.”

“No, it´s… it´s fine. Maybe I don´t even have time to go to the ball…”

Lies and excuses. You don´t really think about your words as you babble on about what you plan to do instead. Maybe you could call your old friends from your hometown. Maybe you could watch a movie with your siblings. Maybe… you stop mid thought.

Are you trying to convince Jacky that you´ll be just fine or are you trying to convince yourself?

You feel the tears welling up in your eyes.

Quickly you jump to your feet again. The last thing you want is to cry in front of Jacky. It would make her feel even worse. Besides, you really hated crying in front of others.

Murmuring something about having to go to the bathroom, you rush out of her room and almost bump into Lee.

“Y/N!” He sounds surprised but happy to see you. The two of you aren´t close enough that you would call him your friend, but you always enjoy talking to him whenever you see him in school or at the Walters´ house.

“Hi, Lee”, you murmur, your voice sounding way too high and on the edge of breaking. Quickly you turn away from him, trying to hide your tears, but he still seems to notice.

His smile fades. “Hey, what´s wrong?”

“It´s nothing…” You try to walk past him, but he blocks your way.

“It´s not nothing! You can tell me, you know?”

“It´s stupid… it´s just…” You sigh heavily. “It´s about the ball… nobody has asked me yet and that really messes with my head. I just don´t understand it. Do boys really hate me that much?”

You do not really expect an answer, but then you see Lee´s face. His eyes widen, as if he just came to a realization. “Em… I don´t…”

“You know what´s up!” You stare at him in disbelief. “Tell me!”

“I´m not sure if I…”

“TELL ME!”

Lee sighs heavily. “Okay, maybe I know something…”

You cross your arms in front of your chest and give him a suspicious look. “What is it? Oh come one, spit it out!”

His hesitation annoys you deeply, as you were never the calm and patient type.

Lee avoids to look you in the eye and stares at his shoes instead. “Maybe it´s just a rumor but… I heard that Isaac tells boys to not ask you to the ball.”

Your jaw drops. “He what?”

Lee couldn´t look more uncomfortable. “Well… I heard Dylan telling his friends, that he wants to ask you to the ball and... when Isaac heard that, he told him that you definitely didn´t want to go with him. He said that you were really picky when it came to boys and… that you always made fun of the boys that you rejected… saying how pathetic they are and that you are totally out of their league.”

Your heart clenches inside your chest and the feeling of betrayal rises inside you. It hurts to hear how Isaac talks about you behind your back.

You´ve always thought he was cool and the two of you always got along well, damn it, you even have a crush on him.

“Thank you, Lee, and if you excuse me now, I have to talk to your brother!” Your voice trembles with anger.

Before Lee can stop you or talk you out of it – which he desperately tries – you stomp down the stairs. “ISAAC GARCIA!”

Damn, you didn´t know you could sound so scary.

Isaac hesitantly comes out of the living room and as he sees you he immediately runs a hand through his hair. He always does that when you´re around, but you never really paid much attention to it until today.

His face freezes as he sees you angrily making your way towards him. “Y/N, what´s up?”

This question finally breaks the camel´s back.

He knows exactly what´s up! Why is he acting so innocent?

Without even considering to greet him or to answer his question, you glare at him. “I hate you!”

He looks at you in shock, his coolness falling off him like a mask. You´ve never seen him this flabbergasted before. With a deep frown, he opens his mouth, about to say something, but you don´t plan to give him the opportunity for questions and excuses.

You turn around and storm out of the room.

“Y/N!” He rushes after you and before you can reach the stairs, he grabs your wrist and forces you to turn towards him. “What´s wrong? What did I do?”

“What you did?!” You break free from his grip and step back, away from him. “You told guys not to ask me to the ball! Can you even imagine how that made me feel? What the hell is wrong with you?”

You try not to shout but the pent-up-anger makes that impossible. If his cousins are home, they definitely heard that. You also wouldn't be surprised if Jackie came downstairs to check on you. Luckily, in that moment you couldn´t care less.

Isaac clearly looks caught. He rises his hands in a defensive gesture. “Okay, you can hate me but please let me explain.”

Does he really think there was a good explanation for this messed up stuff he did? You never thought he could be so manipulative.

“I already know the reason! You´re an idiot!”

“Yes…” He avoids looking at you and stares at the floor instead. “But there´s also another reason.” Again, he runs a hand through his hair and you are surprised to see his fingers trembling. “I told the boys not to ask you, because… I wanted to ask you.”

You feel like you´ve just been hit by a train. Before you realize it, an incredulous laugh escapes your lips.

What did he just say?

You wait for him to laugh too and say it was just a joke – a mean one, but after what Lee just told you, exactly the type of joke you´d expect from him – but instead he lowers his gaze to the ground, clearly hurt by your reaction.

You freeze in your spot, anger slowly turning into confusion. “Why didn´t you just ask me then?”

Your voice sounds much softer now, almost like a whisper, but Isaac still can´t look at you.

“I wanted to but… I got nervous and…” He sighs deeply as he runs out of words to say. “I heard Steve say that he wanted to ask you and I panicked so… I told him not to do it.”

“You´re such an idiot” You barely realize the words that escape your lips.

It just doesn´t make sense! Isaac is not someone who gets nervous or jealous – at least that´s what you always thought. He is way too cool for that – or is that just him pretending?

“Yeah, because I´m in love with you.”

It takes you a few seconds to realize what he just said.

Isaac Garcia confessing his feelings for you had been your dream for almost a year now. A few weeks ago you would have been floating on clouds, but now you don't know what to answer.

Isaac steps closer, looking at you desperately. "I know I messed up but I'm really really sorry. If you want, I can talk to the boys again and tell them the truth."

"You're in love with me?" You repeat his words, still not being able to believe it.

He looks taken aback, clearly not expecting this to be your focus. "Yes, I am."

Slowly you step closer and grab his hand. "Ever since the teachers announced the ball, I was hoping you'd ask me to go with you."

His eyes widen in surprise. "Really?"

Another laugh escapes your mouth. Was he really that oblivious? "Yes! To be honest, I was pretty sure you knew about my crush on you."

"You have a crush on me?" He can't help it, his face lights up like a Christmas tree.

"Wasn't that obvious?"

"No! Damn, if I knew, I would have asked you to be my date for the ball on the very first day."

"You can ask me now." You lift your chin and look at him with a playful smile.

He clears his throat, trying to be formal and keep a straight face. "Y/N L/N, do you want to be my date for the ball?"

"I'd love to."

A huge smile on his face, he steps closer, placing his hands on your hips as he pulls you in for a kiss.

You've been waiting for this moment for so long, you can't wait to feel his lips against yours. And when your lips finally meet, it feels like a fairy tale come true.

His kiss is soft but passionate, sending a pleasant tingling sensation through your body.

His grip gets more firm, almost as if he is afraid you'd change your mind and back away.

To reassure him, you wrap your arms around him, one of your hands softly stroking his hair.

Time stands still. You don't know for sure how long the kiss lasts, but finally you let go of him slowly and look at him, shaking your head with a smile. "I love you, Isaac Garcia, but you're still an idiot!"

"I'm your idiot"