#abel angst just for you <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[skyloftian-nutcase]

The word break? (for Abel 🤣)

Legend raised an eyebrow as he watched the tired man continue to split wood for the group. "Have you ever heard of taking a break? You're almost as bad as our Ordonian."

Abel ignored him, but the burning in his muscles was certainly bothering him more... nothing could get the image of his son crying out of his head, though, and so he pushed his body until it screamed more than his boy's haunting sobs did.

[formulakracing]

america's princess - t.w.

pairing -> popstar!reader x toto wolff

word count -> 3.1k

warnings -> age gap relationship, cursing, slight angst (mostly online hate), toto is completely down bad and would do anything to make reader content, yadayadayada

a/n -> this fic was inspired by this ask! i hope you enjoy this one babe! <3 if you guys enjoy this one, i may consider expanding the au :p

"it appears that i have one more guest tonight. abel, would you please join me on the stage?"

in that moment, the sound that floods your ears is deafening.

abel tesfaye, also known as the weeknd, strolls onto the stage, bearing a dazzling grin as he approaches you. donning his signature sunnies, he pulls you in close, wrapping you tightly against his chest.

you can barely hear the words as the crowd roars. the flash from the phones is blinding, fans desperate to capture what was to come.

"i am so proud of you, pretty lady."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"th-hank you," your voice falters, threatening of tears as your head swivels, surveying the arena.

never in your life would you have predicted that you would be standing here, performing for a sold out crowd of tens of thousands of people.

people who banded together for one sole purpose.

to watch you perform.

and although you were on the verge of completely coming undone, the humility crashing over you like a tidal wave, you were well aware one thing.

the show must go on.

no matter what.

swiveling on your heel, your fingers curl around the microphone, bringing it to your plush lips, "i think you guys will like this one."

shooting a wink, you hold you breath as darkness swaths the stadium. all around, there are hushed murmurs, brimmed with anticipation. there are a few shouts here and there, but you remain still, your chest heaving as the adrenaline pumps in your veins.

a singular spotlight illuminates the stage, showering you with a silvery glow.

almost as if you were bathing in moonlight.

abel lingers to your left, remaining in place. in your peripheral, you catch him dipping his head, flashing a brief thumbs up.

this was it.

now or never.

as the notes begin, fans scream. in the first few rows, you can make out a band of girls of girls jumping in place, jostling with excitement. never in your life had you seen so many phones raised in the air, each of them pointed at the stage.

"i had a vision," your voice, oh so tantalizing, overcomes the stadium, the crowd growing silent. almost if as they were in a hypnosis, completely and utterly entranced by the scene unfolding before them.

"a vision of my nails in the kitchen. scratching counter tops, i was screaming. my back like arched a. my position couldn't stop you were hitting it

and i shouldn't cry, but i love it, star boy. and i shouldn't cry, but i love it, i love it, star boy."

as you move across the stage, twirling about, abel starts in, maintaining eye contact, raising an arm as he points.

"i just want so see you shine 'cause i know you are a star, girl."

inhaling a breath, you join in, the euphoria only growing more and more intense as it builds in the pit of your stomach.

"i just want to see you shine' cause i know you a star, girl."

with each note hit effortlessly, you finish the song, beaming as the stadium erupts. abel strides toward you, bringing you in for one final embrace before the lights dim. you feel his lips press against your cheek, and he murmurs something you can't quite decipher.

you wish you could make out what he said, you really did.

but you were too busy riding that high.

that feeling that left you buzzing, your fingers and toes trembling as you take a step forward, to the center of the stage. clearing your throat, you scramble to formulate a coherent sentence as the crowd chants, begging for just one more song.

"thank you, new york city. thank you for having me! madison square garden, you will forever be my favorite! from the bottom of my heart, thank you! be safe getting home! and remember to pick up after yourselves! goodnight!"

shifting your body, you begin to exit the stage. your crew flies forward, swarming you with congratulations as the stadium lights fill the venue, affirming the end of the show.

shaking your head, you graciously accept a bottle of water from your manager, nearly downing it. furrowing your brow, you can't help but notice the expression plaguing her features.

"come on hun, let's get you to the dressing room."

"what about abel?"

"we'll call him later," your manager waves a hand, almost dismissing the fact that you just performed with one of the largest artists in the world, "he let me know that he was on a tight schedule anyway. i'm sure he'll have some free time later on."

"are you--"

"i'm sure," she interjects, "come on now, let's go."

as she leads you down the maze of hallways, security in tow, you can't help but sense that there something slightly off. the energy all around was bursting with electricity. yet, it wasn't tense.

it was almost as if she was bursting with a secret she could no longer keep the way her cheeks were dusted pink. it didn't help her case that she was swaying slightly, almost fidgeting.

the walk to the dressing room felt like it was an eternity, the hallways never-ending. it was one turn after another, but you finally made it. however, before you can enter the room, your manager darts forward, her hand wrapping around the knob.

"allow me."

"is everything okay?" your heart is racing, thudding against your rib-cage as she nods, a little too fervently.

pushing the door, the two of you enter the room. however, your manager leaves the door propped open, rather than closing it shut. taking your hand, she almost tugs you toward the array of couches.

"okay! now close your eyes."

pursing your lips, you cock your head, "can you please tell me what the fuck is going on? you're acting really weird. are you sure everything is okay?"

"y-yes! there's just one last surprise for you! and i can't contain it anymore! i'msorrybutijust--"

"what is it?" you press, "you can't just say something like that and not--"

there's a tap on your shoulder, a brassy yet familiar voice rumbling from behind.

"some performance you put on tonight, miene liebe."

spinning on your heel, you nearly collapse at the sight before you.

toto wolff, team principal of mercedes amg petronas, and well, your boyfriend towers over you, an exquisite bouquet in his grasp.

a sob rises in your throat, and you can't help but melt into his arms. scooping you up into his embrace, he nearly crushes you against his chest, a hand cupping the back of your skull. nuzzling into his polo, you catch the scent of his cologne, tears streaming as strands of german roll of his tongue.

"h-how did you get here?"

a chuckle rumbles in his throat, "i pulled some strings. let's just say it was a work perk."

"i'll give you two some privacy," your manager clears her throat, "just text me in you need anything, hun. we'll let you know when it's time to board the bus."

as she darts out of the room, you raise your head, ensuring that the door was closed. toto hangs onto you, his hands beginning to roam. blinking, you almost study him, the realization that he was actually there starting to sink in.

tonight, he was clad in a dark leather jacket, a crisp white polo stretching across his toned chest. as always, he left the first two buttons undone, a chain glittering as it rested against his collarbone. khakis stretch down his legs, the team principal opting for a pair of loafers.

his brunette locks were swept up into their typical messy updo. he wore a silver watch on his wrist, the piece screaming luxury and wealth.

god, he always dressed so simple. but it was classy, put together. the look of a man with status yet graced with humility.

and that was the type of man toto was.

there was no elaborate story on how the two of you met.

you were introduced to toto wolff through a mutual friend.

and that mutual friend was none other than lewis hamilton.

it was a warm weekend in austin. a brand had invited you to attend the united states grand prix. at the time, you were on the uphill slope of your fame. you were a household name, an opener for the 1975. well-known but not large enough to sell out stadiums. it was a unique tour at the time, as your sound was a tad bit moodier, teetering on that line separating alternative and pop.

little did you know, that weekend would change the entire trajectory of your life.

at first, you were apprehensive about attending. you did like formula one, as your dad was a lifelong fan. yet, this was the first time in your life you were presented with the opportunity to not only watch a grand prix, but witness it from the paddock.

it was an offer you could not refuse.

so, naturally you accepted. the only stipulation was that the brand had to provide two more passes. one for not only your dad, but your mom too. they deserved to experience the weekend just as much as you did. after all, they were the reason you existed.

they were the ones who ignited your passion for music. they were the ones who supported you when you were just throwing together tracks in your bedroom.

so, the three of you flew out to austin. in the airport, you received a notification, from instagram. it was a message request. but not just any message request.

a message request from lewis hamilton.

in the message, he expressed his excitement that you were attending the grand prix, as he was a "big fan." he shared that he hoped to get a moment to introduce himself and show you around the mercedes paddock.

what sort of twenty-one year old would refuse that?

as fate would have it, you got your opportunity to meet with lewis. he showed you around the paddock, providing a full, in-depth tour of the garage as well. of course, you were a flustered, giggly mess.

never in your life would you have dreamed that you would be on lewis' arm, cracking jokes with the seven-time world champion.

and that is when you met toto wolff.

that weekend, he was a tad stressed. mercedes was not quite performing to their caliber, and the press was churning out headlines left and right. and with max verstappen completely dominating the track, the dream of another constructor's title was slipping away with each passing day.

the team principal was deeply invested in a conversation with his engineers when this giggle filled his ears. it was airy and light, reminiscent of a summer breeze. it only grew louder and louder, toto figuring that lewis was wooing another model.

however, as she came around the corner, toto realized that he was fucked.

completely and utterly fucked.

you were wearing a pair of light denim jeans, paired with a plain black short sleeve shirt. the material was smooth, hugging your frame in all of the right places. it was slightly cropped, as he could see the soft skin of your abdomen whenever you raised an arm or waved.

your hair was put together in a simple do, one for comfort and long-wear. from where he was, he could pick out the gleam of jewelry, with numerous rings on your fingers. you were wearing a plain pair of shoes, opting for comfort.

you were wearing makeup, the tones and hues accentuating your striking features.

and god, when you turned, facing him, toto swore he was done for.

however, it would be weeks before the team principal could even muster up the courage to ask lewis for your number. well, he had to do some eavesdropping at the grand prix to make sure lewis had your number in the first place. once that was knowledge was secured, he decided to act.

at first, the british driver was intrigued, confused on why his boss wanted his new friend's number. it didn't take very long for lewis to register what was happening. well, the way toto was stuttering and blushing did help.

however, across the ocean, you were working on an ep.

not just any ep.

an ep produced by the weeknd.

following austin, lewis was able to provide you with some connections. who knew that a formula one driver had so much access to the industry? regardless, you were extremely grateful for lewis' help.

and from there, the rest was history.

well, at least the fame.

coined america's princess, it was difficult for toto wolff to avoid you. he saw you nearly everywhere. on social media. in advertisements. at the paddock during race weekends.

since you were so close with lewis, you were starting to make more appearances in the mercedes garage.

which worked out in toto's favor.

although he did have your number saved in his phone, he wanted to get to know you first. the real you, in person. not over text. so whenever he was given the chance, he would strike up a conversation with you in the garage. sometimes he would take an early lunch just so he could catch you in hospitality.

then there was the night in brackley.

during a slight break in your tour, lewis invited you over to brackley for a weekend away in the countryside. you were a little burnt out, aching for some change in scenery. the nights on the bus were growing a little too long. the days were starting to blur together.

you ended up booking the quickest flight overseas, ready to just spend some time away from it all. it only took eleven hours and you were at the mercedes headquarters, laughing harder than you imagined possible. lewis introduced you to george, the two of you hitting it off instantly.

who knew that a popstar and two formula one drivers would be such a good mix?

before you knew it, lewis was suggesting drinks. george was on board, goading you to join them for a few rounds at a local pub about twenty minutes from the headquarters. it would just be a few shots, something to take your mind off things.

one thing lead to another, and you somehow ended up in the passenger seat of toto's luxurious coupe.

well, lewis and george were there too. the team principal did not expect to spend his night babysitting, but it was better than waking up to a tabloid headline in the morning. the team principal drove all three of you straight to his sprawling mansion. he ordered the boys to the guest rooms, while he helped you to his bed.

well, it was more like he carried you to his bed.

he maintained his distance, although every fiber of his being desperately wanted to touch you. to finally relish the softness of your skin. to hold you close. to feel you against him.

he maintained his composure. actually, he was quite proud of himself for keeping it together.

that was until you uttered those four words.

"stay with me, please."

it only took two steps until he was right there in that bed with you, burrowing under the covers so that you could nestle into chest. you fell asleep instantly, your lips parted ever so slightly.

and in that moment, toto had never seen anything so beautiful. so ethereal.

and that was how your relationship started. it was not an easy feat, as social media speculated. fans lurked, attempting to snap photos of you with your mystery man. the internet was full of sleuths, and they went to great lengths to puzzle the pieces together.

of course, there were a few moments in which you both slipped up.

every grand prix was excruciating. you couldn't even be in the same room as toto without the fans spreading wildfire. you had to be careful about what photos you posted. you had to dance around questions in interviews, the reporters desperate to divulge the truth. you were constantly hounded by the public on whether or not you were in a relationship.

who was he? what did he look like? how old was he? what did he do for work? was he in the industry? was it abel? or lewis? the two of you were pretty close. maybe it really was him all this time.

yet, you wouldn't share those private details. not until you were ready. there were people who knew, but it was only a select few. only those in your inner circle.

one day, the world would know who america's princess was dating.

sure, you were ready to share. you were chomping at the bit, actually. you wantd the world to know that you were dating toto wolff, team principal of amg petronas.

but were you ready for the storm that would follow? could you handle all of the press? the accusations on social media? the way people would talk about you?

would you lose your crown?

as you lay your head on his chest, toto's fingers dancing along your jawline, down to your neck, you can't help but shake this nagging sensation.

someone had to have seen toto at the show.

you didn't know who, but someone must have spotted him. there was no way you could miss him.

"something on your mind? you're rather quiet."

his voice breaks through the silence, grounding you back to earth. you shake your head, clearing your throat.

"i'm fine. just tired from the show, that's all. i'm not ready to leave you either."

"i know, my love," toto exhales, pressing a tender kiss to your temple, "we'll be together soon. only a few more weeks."

as the words fade in your ear, there's a ding on the table. licking your lips, you sit up, reaching for your phone. it was more than likely a text from your manager, or a message from your mom congratulating you on the concert.

however, as the screen lights up, your jaw goes slack, the phone nearly sliding out of your grasp.

it was a notification from X, several of them actually.

your fingers tremble as your eyes scan over the post. sensing your distress, toto straightens up, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"what's going on? tell me what's -- oh fuck."

the post was a photo of the two of them. it was grainy, but it was no use. all of the evidence was there.

it was a photo of the two of you after a night out. a series, actually. you couldn't quite distinguish where you were, but you could make out that it was you. with him.

your bodies intertwined, back against the passenger door of his car. one hand was shoved underneath your shirt, the other wrapped around the base of your neck, the world crumbling away as your mouth found his.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[lunajay33]

The Teller Girl Part.9

•❤️⛓️💸🌹•

Summary: Being Jax Tellers sister made for a crazy life, being Gemma’s and Clays daughter made it even crazy, but being surrounded by bikers made you feel safe but what’ll happen when you can’t deny your feelings for a certain Scotsman anymore?

Pairing: Chibs Telford x f!reader

Content: Age Gap, bit of angst, smut, violence

Part.8

•Masterlist•

With the help of Chibs and the club I was slowly able to heal from the loss of my baby, Chibs even gave me a photo of him as a baby as a way to put a face to my baby boy, a way to heal, it’s been a few months since all that shit went down, things had settled with the club and other gang stuff, bringing the club back to what it was

Today is Harley’s birthday and the words Chibs said to me before rang in my mind everyday, we still had her, she still needed her mother and I’ll be damn if I don’t give her everything she needs

I’ve got everything done, Teal and purple cupcakes, balloons and decor, sure it was probably over the top for just a one year old birthday party but she’s my little girl and every year I have with her will be celebrated

Everything is set up in the back yard now I’m just waiting for everyone to come, the crew, just keeping it small not wanting to take the attention away from my Harley

The rumble of motorcycles pull up to the front of the house and I could hear their loud chatter already, I hold Harley on my hip, adjusting her little dress that was also purple and teal matching everything, with a little flower clip in her hair

“Here they rowdy boys come baby” she giggles looking up at me with those brown eyes

The back gate swings open and they filter in, Bobby, tigs, happy, Opie and Lyla, juice, Gemma, Jax and Tara and Abel, and of course Chibs

Harley spots him and squeals

“Daddy!” She babbles and Chibs comes and swings her around then holding her close as she plays with his goatee

“Look at ye lil lassy, pretty in yer wee dress just like yer mommy” he says looking back at me pulling me into a kiss

“She missed you today” I say running my hand through his hair, his cologne and smell of cigarettes grounding me

“Aye and what about ye?” He smirks as he squeezes my hip

“You know I always do”

“Oh come on did we come here for a Harley or to watch you guys fall in love again” Jax groans making me blush realizing everyone was watching us

“Right everyone, drinks and food are on the table over there, I’ll get the fire started and let’s have fun” the guys got settled and everyone was having fun, we opened gifts, Bobby got her a dress with an American flag on it, typical, other gifts from the others bike related that came in baby form

We thanked everyone and most settled around the fire, Chibs and I sitting at the picnic bench, Tara and Jax on the other as Abel and Harley play in the sand box

“Haven’t seen you in a while Tara how’ve you been?” I ask trying to be nice for Jax even if I don’t really like her

“Fine, we found of the baby is a boy” I felt a squeeze on my heart and I try not to let it bother me

“Tara…” Jax groans

“What it’s not my fault she lost the baby” she sighs glaring at Jax and that’s when all the pain floods back

“Ye get yer gash outta here before I do Jackie boy and it won’t be pretty” Chibs voice full of rage, Jax grabs her arm and pushes her out the gate, I look down at my belly where it should be full and round by now

“Shite baby” his hand rubs my back

“No its….its fine I’m not gonna let her break all the healing I’ve done” he kisses my temple and pulls me close

“He’s still with us baby girl” I nod holding his thigh

“I’m fine my love, how about you get me a cupcake so I can eat my feelings” he smiles

“Ye got it darlin” I kept eating until there was 3 wrappers in front of me my face probably full of purple and teal mouth full of chocolate cake

“Why do you stay with me” I say looking at Chibs who looked completely amused as he wiped the icing of my face and sucked it off his thumb

“Because yer mine”

•

Life went on day by day, Chibs at my side reassuring me everyday that I was his reason to wake up everyday, that me and Harley were the light of his life

Over time I felt whole again knowing I’ll always have the club at my side, that Harley will grow up with a group of men that’ll kill for her, that’ll protect her no matter what, that she has a father that adores her, that I have a ol man that worships the ground I walk on

Chibs got a divorce from Fiona and proposed to me on Harley’s second birthday, we had a simple wedding where Harley was our flower girl and Abel our ring bearer

And there is no other life I’d want to be living without him by my side always and forever

•

Kinda a crappy ending but I ran out of ideas, if you have any other chibs request my inbox is open!!

I just started a Happy series you can read here! The Lion & Lamb

Taglist: @vixennox1864 @word-scribbless @uknowmesstuff @transparentbouquetturtle @ilikebandzzs @tommyflanaganfan-blog @youngadult9016 @prettylittlepsycho03 @staley83 @buckysteveloki-me @bonnyclydecat @itsmytimetoodream @stories4you04-x

[deleteddewewted]

Supermarket Romance P6

Demetrian Titus x Gn! Reader

S: Titus and you meet up at the supermarket to help him find a compression sleeve for his leg. He's excited to spend time with you and receive help. He opens up a but more about himself and you soon realize that the mysterious stranger is actually just as vulnerable as you.

MDNI

W: Some Abelism, Angst, Fluff, Feelings Are Discovered, Chairon Is Mentioned, Lust and Feelings

If you want to buy me a Ko-fi

Taglist: @kingmagnificolover @garlickedbreads @eliferraris @justeverythingnothingelse @absent-still @laura-naruto-fan1998 @lichkingofangmar @hatsubara-8chan @riokunova @sk-3-tch @futtorliya @missmannequin

Previous/Next

Titus was waiting outside the supermarket on a bench that was placed near the entrance, his cane leaning against the wall next to him as he awaited your arrival. He had forgone pants again and instead went with loose shorts as he had concluded that he might need to try on some of the compression sleeves. He wore his brace again, his leg was acting up and he needed the support to walk. This weather did not agree with him. His leg and joints complained as he got dressed to leave his home and he hoped that this trip would be quick so he could go back to his warm home. Though, the anxiety wouldn't let him rush you by texting you or calling you. He wanted to see you as this would be the first time he would be purposefully spending time with you.

He looked out towards the parking lot, his car parked closer to the store as he didn't feel like walking all that much on the way back. He thought about leaving his cane in the car at first, maybe it would make him look less pathetic, and yet he brought it with him. You had seen it already and hadn't made a negative comment about it. He looked down at his leg brace and wondered why you hadn't mocked him. He was abnormal in appearance, his once unscarred and clear face was now draped with age and uncanny injuries that would leave anyone starring in horror. He was deep in thought to the point he hadn't noticed you calling out his name.

“Titus! It’s good to see you again! Come on, you’ll get sunburnt if you stay outside.” You stopped in front of him, a smile plastered on your face. You looked comfortable, baggy oversized pants that he could only assume were pajama pants and a loose shirt that hung over you like a tent draped your body. You were in your sleeping clothing.

"Yeah, when i said i got locked out i mean i got locked out." You explained while giggling.

"I dont know what possessed me to leave my house without changing first but i guess this is the look for the day. Hope you don't mind being seen with me looking like a hot mess." You joked, your eyes lingering on his own as you waited for a response.

"Not at all. Its understandable." He replied back. He tried his best not to stare to much but he couldn't help but think you looked like a child who had stolen their parent's clothes. You were drowning in your clothes and he knew you probably were more comfortable than he was. How he envied you and your lack of care for others' opinions on your apperance.

"Let's head in. The suns only getting hotter and the weather is going to get cooler later on. Maybe if were lucky we'll get rain tonight."

“Of course.” He stood up, grabbed his cane, and used it to lift himself up from the bench he was sitting on. His leg began to tremble, he didn't feel stable putting weight on it. He looked down and glared at it, his face red with embarrassment.

“Here," You get closer to him, bending down to wrap your arm around his waist and under his shoulder, "Use my shoulder.” Titus tensed for a moment as he felt your body next to his own, your hand placed next to his side as you leaned in to give him your body as a support. He relaxed and took your support to get up and find his footing. You both stood there for a moment, you holding his waist as he tried to lean his weight away from you in fear that he would crush you with his weight.

“Thank you.” His voice was soft, almost like a whisper as he thanked you.

“No problem.” You reassured him with a smile. You waited for him to feel comfortable walking before letting him lead the way inside the store.

Once inside, you ask him to follow you to the far right side of the store towards the pharmacy. Titus followed close behind as you made your way down the different departments before reaching your destination. A long line of people were waiting to pick up their prescriptions by the pharmacy counter as you walked past them towards the aisle you were intending. Placed right next to the pain medication and muscle cream was a wall full of different types of braces, compression sleeves, and mobility aids. Titus was almost embarrassed to say he didn’t know this section of the store existed. In his defense, he didn’t get his medication from the store, he just picked it up at the pharmacy at the hospital. And in the cases in which he needed muscle relaxers or creams, he ordered them online because he didn't want to interact with a cashier. You stopped in front of the giant shelf of items and began looking through them before turning to face him.

“Let’s get you something that’s tight enough to smooth out under your clothes but not too tight that it’s uncomfortable. Would you say your leg is a Large or an Extra Large?” You crouched down and started pulling different colored compression sleeves, some were adorned in fun patterns while others were neutral colors like black or beige.

“E- Excuse me?” He stuttered out. He blinked at you, hoping to get clarity on what you asked him but none came to him.

“Extra large it is!” You pulled a skin-toned sleeve and pressed it against his exposed leg to see if the color matched. It wasn't an exact match but it was close enough to not be noticeable at a glance.

“Do you want something that looks like your skin color or do you want to go with the basic black sleeve?” You ask as you grab another sleeve.

“The black sleeve should suffice.” You nodded at his comment before undoing it from its hooked packaging. It slit out in one piece and handed it over to him.

“Go ahead and put it on, see if it feels comfortable or not.” You watched as he slipped it on, his other leg flexing as he balanced on it to slip the sleeve over his shoe and pull it up his leg. He hiked it up as much as he could, you could still see the defined muscles under the fabric. You had to pry your eyes away from the mouth watering sight.

As he placed his leg down he began flexing and unflexing his now covered leg and swung it a little just to see how it felt. He liked the tightness and the appearance, it was oddly subtle in appearance since it looked like leggings under his shorts though it was only one sleeve. This worked for him. He liked that it fit with the hobbies he had which were mainly working out. He worked out often and no one would question it, maybe this would also let him wear his leg brace without feeling like he stood out in public.

"It feels good. Almost like a tighter and thicker layer of skin." He commented. he continued to watch as it moved smoothly over the leg brace and didn't prevent his mobility. He wished he would have found out about this sooner.

"Does the size work?" You asked, watching as he examined his leg.

"It does. I think this is perfect for my needs."

"Let's get you some variety so you don't have to worry about doing laundry all the time." With that, you both grabbed a few colors that Titus liked and looked over the rest of the aisle for things he might want to try.

He enjoyed your presence and the patience you showed him. Not only did you not rush him but you also helped him find other items that might help him. From a specialized heating pad meant to be worn on the lower back, to informing him of the joys of a full body massage, you helped make Titus feel more comfortable seeking alternative help for his problems. This was enjoyable in a way he didn’t think it would be. You both probably spent an hour or so just walking up and down the aisles looking around before he even noticed that it was getting late.

“Y/n, I'm sorry for having taken up much of your time. It’s late, allow me to thank you properly for your help.” He offered.

“Titus, don’t be silly. I’m happy to help a friend out. You don’t owe me anything.” You reassured him. You had found an empty basket and had been using it to carry much of his things so he could browse without issue.

“I insist. Is there anything you would like to get?” He insisted. He looked at you directly, hoping that you would agree to get something so that the guilt of spending your time would vanish, but you disagreed.

“Not really from here but, again, don’t worry about it. I’m happy to just hang out with you.” You patted his arm hoping that it would make him stop insisting as it was getting harder to not cave in. His eyes were just too expressive.

“How about this. I’m hungry and don’t feel like cooking. Would you allow me to invite you to a quick meal?” He offered. You don’t know how he managed to do it but this behemoth of a man was making puppy eyes at you unknowingly and it softened your resolve.

“Fine…” You managed to choke out. Your face began heating up and you hoped that he couldn't notice it as he stared at you.

“Perfect. Let me pay for these items and then we’ll find something to eat.” You didn't know what to expect but he put out a small smile that was almost unnoticeable but it engrained itself into your memory. The edge of his mouth quirked up and his expression eased as he looked down at you. It made something in you flutter to life and it left you wanting to see that smile again.

You joined him as he checked out, item after item was bagged, the total of everything slowly amounting to a number you could only dream of having reflected in your bank account. You helped him carry some of the items to his car before hopping into the passenger seat and waiting for him to join you. He didn’t start the car's engine right away, instead, he sat in his seat and waited for a moment before turning his key and bringing the car to life.

“Is there anywhere you personally want to go?” He asked as he pulled out of his parking spot.

“I still have an hour to kill before my landlord shows up, so why not a drive-thru?"

“Perfect.” He drove the two of you to a place close to his apartment. He asked if you wanted to eat in the car or if you wanted to come to his apartment and eat there to which you replied that you would love to go to his place. He feared he might have rushed your friendship, that he might have coerced you into going to his home, but when you agreed he couldn’t have been more ecstatic. He pulled into the drive-thru window of a McDonald's and began listing off the items you both wanted from the menu before thanking the employee and pulling to the next window. He grabbed the orders and paid even though you had tried slipping your card to the employee only to be physically blocked by Titus' body as he handed them his credit card. He drove to his home, meals sitting on the back seat with the rest of his bags as the two of you sat in silence.

"I don't think I ever really told you what I do for a living, did I?" You started the conversation, hoping to kill the silence.

"I made an assumption that you were an artist. Maybe an art instructor."

"I wish. Art teachers get paid consistently. I'm a freelancer." You murmured.

"That sounds fun. You have the freedom to chose what projects you want to take on."

"But I dont have guaranteed employment or pay." The conversation died again but Titus, maybe out of curiosity, reignited it again.

"What's your end goal for your career?" He asked, curiosity dripping from his voice.

"I don't know, Titus. At the moment I just want to be able to pay my bills without worry." You sighed, almost looking deflated in the passenger seat as you looked at him and then out the window without adding anything more. He pulled up to his home and parked before unlocking the car doors and unbuckling his seat belt. He didn't exit just yet, he sat there mulling in silence before speaking.

"What would it take to achieve that goal?"

"Something that's going to be long-term or semi-long term. My last client ended their contract with me cause they claimed they found a 'quicker alternative'." You explained, "Apparently, AI is 'revolutionizing' the business so they no longer need actual artists when they can get art for free." You mope. Titus didn't know how to best comfort you as he didn't understand the greater issue that was being underlined but he did provide you with a hand on your shoulder in a small gesture of reassurance in the form of a smile.

"You will find something soon. I can feel it." With that, you both got out of the car and grabbed the bags from the back seats before entering his apartment. His home was unassuming from the outside, colored in a light beige paint and the door painted brown. When you entered, it was as bearing as you would have assumed it would be. No pictures, no decor, nothing that would scream that someone lived here was evident anywhere in the space except for some blankets on the couch. The kitchen was cleared of cups from its countertop, there were no coffee bags out, no cereals that he might enjoy, there was nothing. Everything looked like it was part of an Ikea display, devoid of personality and it made you sad as it most likely indicated that Titus didn't feel this place was home but a shelter to sleep in.

"I usually eat at my desk, so this will be a welcomed change." He commented.

You smiled up at him before placing some of the bags on the kitchen table and sitting down across from him as you unwrapped your burger and fries. You ate with gusto as you hadn't had take out in a long while. Having not had the budget to order out or even get a cheap meal, you had missed the taste of frozen oil patties and salty fries drenched in day old boiling oil. From the taste to the smell, this cheap meal had been the best thing you've had in a while.

"You seem to be enjoying your meal." Titus teased. The edges of his lips lifted as he watched you eat. You practically inhaled your food and choked on it when he started talking.

"It's been a while since I've had fast food. It's oddly good after a while." You explained, a smile still stuck on your face as you ate. He noticed how crumbs clung to your mouth, your cheeks puffed as you continued to chew on your food. It was a pleasant sight.

"I agree. During my service, i longed for the days we could go off base and purchase food and items we didn't have the luxury to be given." You nodded at his comment before placing your food down and grabbing a napkin to clean your hands.

"You served?" You asked.

"Yes, for a long time." He said it with a sense of longing. You could see it in his eyes again, what he meant. He looked like he was recounting old memories in his mind.

"Must have been one hell of a career if you stayed for so long." You joked, a chuckle escaping you as you resumed eating.

"I would agree. I truly enjoyed what I was doing." The conversation ended as you both continued eating, Titus looked pensive as he ate. He stared at an abandoned piece of food wrapper before he directed himself to you.

"What type of work do you usually make?"

"I usually do illustrations and paintings. I loved traditional art as a teenager and had a focus on it but once I got the chance to study further I opted into graphic design and digital art."

"Why did you expand to graphic design?" He asked.

"My parents told me they would only help with college if I picked up something that would 'pay me money' in the future but i still continued learning and going to fine arts courses." You took another bite out of your burger, chewing a little aggressively as if it had personally offended you.

"You are a jack of all trades, Y/n." He said, voice soft and laced with kindness.

"I guess I am. Just not good at implementing them, I guess." You fired back.

"Would you mind showing me some of your work?"

"Sure, it's mostly on my socials. Let me pull up my profile." You clicked away on your phone before making your way around the table and showing him. Your work was beautiful. Large pieces on canvas that you painted and digital artworks that demonstrated people or environments impressed him. He wasn't one for the arts, the most he did was sing drill songs and drunk karaoke that he didn't even remember from when he was a young soldier, but this was something else. He felt something when he looked at the painting you had depicting a woman lying in a bed of flowers, her brown skin and face delicate as light beads of sunlight showered her face in what could only be described as an angelic touch. Many other drawings of friends, neighbors, and employees of the supermarket were drawn digitally. You even had one of Chairon where he was flexing and showing off his prosthetic arm. Every drawing was outstanding in his opinion and they reflected you perfectly. You had some other posts that depicted your graphic design work, it was just as fun and artistic, to say the least.

"These are beautiful, Y/n. You should submit them to a gallery." He complimented. He turned to face you and he was nose to nose with you. You were so close, he could smell your perfume and get a whiff of your natural scent. Warm and almost honey-like, you were addicting to the point he almost leaned in closer to get a better smell. He couldn't help but let his eyes drop down to your lips which were slightly open. If he wanted to he could lean in and plant a kiss on them. He turned his head to look back at your phone and asked you to explain what one of your sketches was, hoping to distract himself from the fluttering feeling in his stomach. These impure thoughts about you, they were random and unnecessary. He shouldn't be thinking of you in this way, you were clean of sin, clear of damage

You on the other hand were internally panicking at the closeness. God, his scent was strong. He smelled of smoked wood and something you could only describe as masculine musk that clung to him. It was pleasant but it lit a flame in the pit of your stomach you weren't sure how to address. When he had turned around it was almost as if you had gotten staring at him, like he knew you were thinking about him and the way he looked. You got a better look at the faint marks that decorated the right side of his temple, some of them had raised scar tissue from what you could assume was shrapnel that had gotten lodged there and had to be removed, and a long scar that cut through his hairline. He had another set of scars on his nose and cheek that looked more befitting a man who was prone to danger than the gentle soul you had gotten to know. His eyes on you were electrifying, god you want to lean in and kiss him even if his lips were a little chapped. But you don't, instead, you take note of his red ears and how the blush trails down to his cheeks.

You both parted, creating distance between the two of you as you realized you might be making him uncomfortable, his posture was stiff and his breathing shallow. You thanked him for the compliments and asked him if there was anything else he wanted help with so you two could plan further ahead.

"There is nothing that truly comes to mind though I didn't know our worlds were so small."

"What do you mean?" You cocked your head to the side.

"Chairon. He's the security guard at the gym i go to. How did you two know each other?" He explained while gesturing at your phone.

"Chairon bought me a coffee this one time. I was in line and I was waiting to order. The prizes at the shop had increased but I didn't know, so when it was my turn to pay and I was short a few cents, Chairon who was behind me offered to pay the remainder." You talked about the other man with a fond smile on your face. Something about it made Titus feel relieved but something akin to a knot began to form in his stomach.

"Was that the extent of your interaction?" He asked, his eyes focused on your face hoping to see your reaction.

"Nope! Chairon and I became friends, kinda. Sometimes he gives me a ride or advice on how to fix things around my place. I'm not handy at all." This brought a bitter feeling to Titus.

He doesn't dislike Chairon being a good person, the man has always been kind, but he didn't particularly like that he was close to you. This felt like a defect Titus needed to fix. Like he was wrong in some way and he needed to realign his thoughts for thinking so bitterly of a man who has done him no wrong. This knot in his stomach only grew tighter as you reaffirmed the other man's good nature and it left him feeling ill.

"It sounds like you two are close." He commented blankly, hoping that the acrid feelings weren't evident in his voice.

"Chairon's an amazing guy. He's sweet and funny and always there to support you even at your lowest. I'm sure you can find a friend in him too."

"I have. I'm... grateful." He smiled at the memory of the younger man helping him through a panic attack he had recently. Not only did he not judge Titus, but he was helpful. He had brought him cold water and a wet towel to press against his head as he spoke him through it. Chairon had empathy for him that no one else had shown him outside of his small group of friends. It brought him hope and reassurance even though they didn't know each other all that well.

Lost in thought, Titus hadn't noticed your phone begin to vibrate or you checking it to see who had been calling you. The call ended and a notification popped up with the name of your landlord attached.

"Oh shit, it's my landlord. I have to go!" You start to clean up your mess, empty food wrappers and greasy takeout bags were all thrown into the trashcan that stood by the table. Titus followed suit, worried that you would leave in a hurry before he could offer to drive you home. He clears his clean wrappers and also throws them away and makes his way back towards you.

"Let me drive you home. It's late and I don't feel comfortable letting you go home by yourself." He pleaded. You tried not to look at his eyes but the pretty blue eyes he possessed had you in a chokehold. He looked concerned, his crow's feet growing deeper and somehow making him look more handsome. You blushed as you averted your eyes, urging in your mind to reply already as he only seemed to grow more dejected as the seconds ticked by with no response.

"Sure, that would be nice." You managed to push out, cheeks still in flamed and growing hotter by the moment.

"Great, let me grab my keys and we'll go." He made his way to the kitchen counter and grabbed his keys before heading towards his front door, opening it, and holding it for you. He waits until you're out before locking his door and guiding you back to his car. He seats himself in the driver's seat, you following suit as you buckle yourself in beside him. He turned the engine on with a quick flick of his keys and drives off towards your home with the help of his GPS and your directions.

The drive grows quiet as you looked at the window and watched people and cars pass you by. The sky had grown dark and the air cooled as the winter months neared. You liked this time of year and also dreaded it. It was usually nice weather and allowed you to have an excuse to hoddle up in your home in blankets and hoodies. But it also brought on a horrifying electricity bill due to the heater being used the most during this time. You wondered what Titus would think about doing during the winter. It was already starting to take a toll on him, you could see the heating pad on the couch and a mini heater nearby on the floor. You wondered if he worried about the bills like you did. You doubted it since he looked to be doing well for himself but it was still a nice thought, that maybe you and him were not so different after all.

As he pulled onto your street he took note of the state of the neighborhood. Old homes that have been left to rot or have been neglected were everywhere. Even as he pulled over and parked in front of your home he noticed how the paint on your homes walls not only had yellowed over time but also had begun to peel. He understood that people were struggling, and he had no place to judge as he was practically living like he was homeless when he was deployed, but this was something else. He wondered what had led to this being that situation you were thrown in, if you felt comfortable or even safe in this place you called your home.

He noticed a man sitting by the porch with a cigarette in between his fingers. The man waved at you both, no smile present as he he did. You sighed, annoyance already settling in as you began to unbuckle your seat belt. You were about to open the car door but was stopped by Titus' hand reaching out and grabbing you by the wrist. His hold was loose, almost as if he feared that he might hurt you if he tightened his grip.

"Do you want me to... stay until he leave?" You listened to him but the words didn't process. You merely blinked at him.

“I’ll be fine, Demetrian.” You pull your arm away and he gives way without hesitation. He nods at you but not before telling you that he has no issue with waiting if you don’t feel comfortable being left alone.

“It’s sweet of you, but the most he’s going to do is give me a nasty key fee since he had to replace it.” You reassure.

“Well then, I’ll see you some other time.”

“We’ll talk soon. I promise.” You gave him a reassuring smile before closing the car door and making your way over to your landlord. Titus watched as you and the man spoke before shaking his head and driving off.

You eyed Titus’ car as it left, turning to watch it drive and take a turn that made him vanish from your sight.

“Is that your boyfriend?” Your landlord joked. His breath smelled of nicotine and it made you scrunch up your face in disgust.

"No, he's a friend I made when grocery shopping."

"You always get attached to the weirdest people." He comments before leaving your porch and walking towards his car. He peels off with no regard for the other cars on the road or the speed limit. You enter your home, the new key unlocking the door without a hitch, unlike the one you had before. You're home was a mess. Canvasas, sketch paper, portfolios, and drawers filled to the brim with tubes of paint and brushes. The space felt full and yt to you it was empty. You had no pets, you had no other person to share the space with. You were alone coming to live out here just as you were back home where you were always last to receive praise or recognition while your sibling got all of it.

[ambrosiagoldfish]

Wanted to do this random Adam QnA thing I found on Twitter here cause I thought’s it be fun!

(I encourage you too as well ^o^)

(Credit to the original poster on Twitter of course !!)

100% my Fav, if my Tumblr wasn’t an indicator of that lol. A major reason being that he has so much more to his character than first glance (especially in terms of angst for fics) he very clearly has some self worth issues and puts that into his personality by making himself more palatable to a larger audience would enjoy. (Mean Rockstar persona) Also him looking for validation from Sera was already a huge indicator that there’s more to him than ‘Haha funny evil fat man >:)’ But I do really like Angel, Lucifer, and Vaggie a lot.

Adam ships are complicated for me. Let’s get the obvious ones out of the way, I LOVE AdamsApple, GuitarSpear, and more recently GuitarGate. But While AdamsApple is my major one, I only like it if it’s done right. I dislike when they make, for example, Sinner Adam get treated like garbage by Lucifer and he’s in charge of ‘punishing’ Adam or something like that. IDK the concept just seems toxic, which I know, the ship itself WILL have inherent levels of toxicity, but it still rubs me the wrong way. Just my opinion tho

As for ships I don’t like, I’m pretty open with his ships but one I’m not a fan of is GuitarPrincess. There’s nothing illegal with it, so I’m not going to attack you for it. Im just not a fan of it. Another one is probably Alastor x Adam. I just don’t see it. They both oppose eachother in literally everything. Adam hates Jazz, Alastor loves it. Alastor doesn’t seem to like people more powerful than him and only respect them because he’s afraid of them (just my theory) and he clearly didn’t respect Adam because he completely underestimated how strong the first man would be. but ship what you want within reason OFC

Sigh I wish. I LOVE the concept of Sinner! Adam because IT JUST MAKES SENSE! The whole show is about redemption and how bad of a soul can actually be redeemed in the hotel. Him being reincarnation as a sinner would be both the perfect karma for him, but also the perfect test for Charlie. She couldn’t turn him away, even if she hates him. She’d be a massive hypocrite for letting Alastor work with her and also just general defeating the purpose of a hotel being completely open to all sinners.

But…. Something I’ve had a constant fear for about Adam coming back as a sinner is, that Lute might kill him. I just feel like it’s something that COULD happen as her view of sinners becomes even more warped. I just wouldn’t want that to happen, to bring him back only to kill him would be worse than just not bringing him back at all.

As for what I would want to happen, I’d like to see him and Lucifer ‘reconcile’ and to know more about what actually happened in Eden. With them reconciling, I also don’t want it to be solely on Adam to do, Lucifer also has to be able to accept that he hurt Adam and pretty much fucked him up for life. I don’t want the entire blame of the issue to be on Adam because it just seems like a waste of character development for BOTH of them.

Whether or not Adam will return in season 2… I would say he won’t. I think Abel is there to fill his absence BUT I do think we’ll get him in Season 3 (maybe even teased in the end credits of season 2 maybe?) I do want him to return, but I want it to be handled with care. I want him to have a redemption arc because it’d suck if characters like Lucifer, Vox or LILITH are given a slap on the wrist for what they’ve done in the show. And I ESPECIALLY don’t want them to kill him after he returns or make him a joke character to be bullied 😔

Hmmmm, I’d like to think he’s a good dad for the sole reason that I love Dad! Adam content, but I can see it going either way TBH. Abel seems more open to people and less of an asshole, so he probably thinks of Abel as a Wimp. But I think that his view of Abel was heavily affected by what happened with him and Cain. He could potentially see Abel as nothing but a child because he see’s him as helpless after witnessing his death. (Similar to how Sera sees Emily)

My main and only hope is that they don’t make him an Abusive deadbeat or something (if they do I WILL ignore it lol)

Does this need to be answered if you know me? Here’s my masterlist 😏

I WISH I HAD MERCH OF HIM 😭😭 I’ve been trying to work on a Plushie of him literally all year with my mom but it’s been so hectic that we never got to finish it. We’ve gotten the base design done and only need to figure out blueprint stuff. But he’s currently made of scrap material. If I EVER get him done I will definitely post it here!

Well I have a plethora of them but some main ones are:

He has abandonment issues and has a hard time connecting with people.

Insecure about his looks (Face, BODY, and voice)

Speaking of body, he’s plus size 1000% IM NOT SORRY. That is a Fat Man, 😤

And lastly, he’s a closeted bisexual, you’re telling me he knew who Angel Dust was (a famous GAY pornstar in hell) but not Alastor? One of the scariest, infamous Sinners out there? Really? He has done things he is not proud of, one of which being a man named Steve.

YESSSSSSSS. How can anybody call him ugly, I SWEAR. Mask, hot. His face? Hot. Everything is hot. As for the main thing attractive with his design, with the mask, definitely the LED face, don’t know why, it’s just so NWAOHSKAIAB. And without mask, I loooooove his eyebaggs/eyeliner and also his stubble. It’s just those subtle details of character design that shows that he’s definitely not in the best head space (eyebags, stubble, and paler skin being big indicators of men’s physical indicator of their mental health not doing so hot) so I just love him a lot!

I would like to see him interact with Saint Peter and Emily (they HAVE to have the most hilarious interactions. Those innocent angels meeting the vulgar first man would be a dream come true 😭) and also Abel and/or Cain. If they make him a sinner, it’s more than likely he would have interactions with Cain at some point. Not to mention, I’d like to know how Abel died. Cause in the Bible he was the first human to die, but in Hazbin, Adam was the first. So maybe Cain killed Adam then Abel? Or maybe Abel was sent to purgatory and was only let out after Adam died? Who knows!

(And I can’t put the picture here cause of the photo limit but)

10: What would you do if you met Adam IRL

’ll take him to my penthouse and I’ll freak it. >:)

[fandomficsnstuff]

Old Lady - 5

(Warnings: Some danish words with the translations afterwards. I’m fine with not doing danish like this if that’s what you guys want but unless you guys let me know, I’m going to keep doing these, I hope that’s okay<3 Also some angst, a beautiful wedding, a little more angst and some more danish)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The second their bikes stopped and they got off, you couldn’t help but grin, running over and hugging Juice tightly “welcome back” you stated softly as you parted from him, giving his cheek a brief kiss before turning to Bobby, hugging him just as tightly “going a little viking with that beard?” you teased, gesturing to the two braids and he smirked and stretched out his arms “you know me, the depiction of a real viking” he fired back and you chuckled “så kommer du måske i Valhalla den dag du dør og møder Odin og Tor. Det kan være at du så også kunne lave noget stegt flæsk med persillesovs, er sikker på at i ville elske det(then maybe you’ll get into Valhalla the day you die and meet Odin and Thor. Maybe you can make fried pork with parsley sauce, I’m sure you guys would love it)” you said smoothly, Bobby frowning at you with great confusion, making you giggle “I lived in Denmark, remember? I actually picked up on a few things” you stated with a wink, Bobby laughing as he patted your shoulder before moving on to the others. You turned to Tiggy, smirking and before he could say anything you hugged him tightly, eyes closed for a brief moment “welcome back, Tiggy” you whispered softly before parting from him, Tig grinning from ear to ear “now THIS is a welcome party!” he stated loudly with joy, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you shook your head “I’m not sucking your dick, that honor goes to my old man” you stated teasingly, Tig adjusting his pants around his crotch as he followed you away from the bikes “but you’ll let me watch?” he asked in a low voice, a smirk on his lips and you chuckled again “if you behave like a good boy” you teased before walking over to Happy, wrapping your arms around him as you welcomed him back, Tig still looking at you, specifically your ass “yes mommy” he groaned under his breath and to himself before he once again adjusted his pants before his attention was forced away from you as others came to welcome him back.

You parted from Happy to hug Jax tightly, he even lifted you a little off your feet “shit! You got fatter while I was inside?” he joked as he put you down, a scoff leaving you “maybe, but you definitely got uglier” you shot back, Jax grinning at you before hugging you tightly once more. You moved on to Clay, smirking at him with your arms crossed, Clay smirking at you before opening his arms, welcoming you in a tight bear hug that had you chuckling. “Welcome home, Clay” you stated softly, eyes closed as you hugged the large man, one of his hands on the back of your head, just like when you had been a little girl. “Thanks, sweetie” he murmured before letting you go, patting your shoulder as you parted.

This was home. As fucked up as it was, this was your home. Tiggy with a boner from hugging you, laughing and chatting with Bobby, Chibs holding your hips, Juice making you smile, Gemma and Clay adoring each other not too far away, Opie and Lyla hugging each other, Jax and Tara cooing with Thomas, Abel having fun with Happy. This was your family. This was your home. The thought making you smile and you looked over your shoulder at Chibs, leaning into his touch, eyes closing in bliss for a brief moment before opening again, taking everything in, the family reunited and soon Lyla would marry Opie, hell, you even had a dress picked out, which Lyla, Tara and Gemma had of course helped find, all of you going out to shop with Lyla, since she had already found her wedding dress, and looked gorgeous in it. It wasn’t traditional, but it was her, and that was the most important part.

-----------------------------------------------------

You couldn’t stop grinning as you watched Piney lead Lyla towards the altar, standing at Chibs’ side as you clapped, catching Lyla’s eye as she walked by, a grin on your lips as you threw her a brief wink, watching her walk up to Ope, leaning into Chibs as the two of them settled in front of one another. The ceremony was in true Sons style, the last vow Opie made to Lyla was proof of that, Chibs putting a hand on your thigh, higher up that what would be seen as appropriate if it had been a normal wedding, which it luckily wasn’t. You laughed briefly and smirked at him, his hand gripping your flesh in an almost iron grip that sent sparks through you, his eyes on you, pupils dilated and you smirked, leaning up, lips brushing against his ear teasingly “as much as I enjoyed being watched while you fucked the life out of me, I’d prefer if you did so after the ceremony” you whispered, biting the lobe of his ear before looking back at Lyla and Ope, clapping and grinning while Chibs’ hand ventured up an inch further, his lips near your ear as he leaned down “careful wha’ you wish fer, might fuck ya right here” he whispered before biting your earlobe, just as you had done with him.

As it grew darker and the ceremony part of the wedding was over, you were looking at the dance floor with a soft smile, the slow song making you wish that Chibs was here, holding you like the others, swaying gently with you. But you knew it was club business that kept him from you, it just didn’t help the sad feeling you felt, watching the others sway on the dance floor. “What’s the long face for, chica?” you heard a voice ask, looking over your shoulder at a man, eyes locked on him as he moved to sit in the empty chair across from you, his patch making it obvious who he was. Mayan. “My old man isn’t here to dance with me, that’s all” you stated softly, this was neutral ground, may as well act civil. “Your old man left you here all by yourself? He’s either stupid or an idiot” he stated with a smirk, a scoff leaving your lips as you studied him, a polite smile still on your lips. “What’s your name, Mayan?” you asked with a small smirk, the man seemingly not taking offense to the tone you used when referring to his club “Mateo” he stated with a nod and a smirk, your head moving in a single nod as you picked up your beer, looking around and taking a sip. “What’s your name, chica? You gotta have a beautiful name” he flirted lightly and you couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking your head as you looked back at him, eyes slightly narrowed. “So, I tell you I’m not free and you flirt?” you asked, Mateo shrugging with a smirk as he leaned back in the chair. “Can’t help it, a beautiful woman like yourself… shouldn’t be left alone” he stated confidently and you couldn’t help but laugh briefly at how bold he was, your eyes studying him before sighing softly “(Y/N), my name’s (Y/N)” you stated briefly, watching him smirk and nod “sounds like a name an angel would have-”

“Easy now, see that guy over there? The Son with the president patch?” you asked calmly, gesturing to Clay, Mateo looking over his shoulder and nodding, making you smirk “practically raised me. The V.P patch? Like a brother to me, so is the groom” you stated casually, Mateo merely looking back at you with the same smirk “you tryna scare me off, hermosa?”

“Is it working?”

“No” he answered with that same cocky and arrogant smirk, a part of you somewhat admiring his persistence, although it was a very small part. “Why did you approach me, Mateo? Your old lady off sucking another Mayan cock?” you fired with a teasing tone you knew Gemma would be proud of, Mateo merely chuckling and looking down briefly “don’t have an old lady, not one as pretty as you, at least” he flirted and you scoffed and shook your head “you’re very bold” you noted, Mateo shrugging “si, especially when I want something” he let his eyes rake over your body and you narrowed your eyes at him “are you saying you want me?”

“Is it that obvious?” he teased and you thought about it before leaning closer to him with a smirk, Mateo mirroring you, leaning closer and you were close enough to actually kiss each other. “Well, Mateo, the only way you’d ever get close to having me, in any way, was if you walked in on me and my old man as he fucked the life out of me” you stated with a wink before leaning back into your chair once more, grabbing your beer bottle and taking a swig. “So, you’re saying you’d let me-”

“No, I’m not. I’m not single, happily together with a man who can fuck me and treat me better than you could ever try to, that enough of a ‘no’ for you?” you asked with slight annoyance, it was fun in the beginning but now it was getting annoying, his persistence despite your direct refusal was starting to make you uncomfortable, your eyes wandering around, thinking of signaling Jax or even Clay but you didn’t want to ruin the wedding and good atmosphere. “C’mon, hermosa, at least let me try” he reached for your knee and you frowned at him, drawing back as you glared at him “I said; no. Not now, not ever, and don’t touch me” you spat, shaking your head at him as you scoffed “I think it’s time for you to leave-”

“Don’t be like that-”

“No means no, ‘ese’, your mommy never taught you that?” you snapped, that uncomfortable feeling in you spurring into an anxious feeling as he didn’t seem deterred by your rejection. “I know you don’t really mean it, c’mon, let me treat y-”

“Do anything, and I’ll treat you to a goddamn bullet in your skull” you seethed and got up, walking over to the table where some of the other old ladies were, your eyes meeting Mateo’s again and you shook your head at him and scoffed before looking back at the other ladies as you chatted with them, Mateo still watching you with a smirk.

It wasn’t long before Chibs walked into the small venue area, your eyes lighting up and you practically threw yourself out of your chair, walking over to him, wrapping your arms around him and kissing him passionately. Chibs grunted lightly, his hands gripping your waist tightly, even as the two of you parted for air. “How’d it go? You send the message?” you asked with a soft smile, hands resting on his chest as you admired him as he did the same with you “aye, think they’ll get it soon enough” he stated with a smirk, a giggle leaving your lips as he gripped your waist even harder. “Now, why is there a Mayan eyein’ mah old lady?” Chibs asked quietly and you couldn’t help but chuckle, gently shaking your head, snaking your arms around his neck, fingers gently scraping along his scalp in a soothing way in an attempt to calm yourself down and not him, something Chibs noticed easily “it’s nothing, it’s-... it’s nothing, he’s just some creep who didn’t understand what ‘no’ meant and thought touching was appropriate” you muttered quietly and sarcastically with a frown, Chibs’ lips twitching up briefly in anger “is he now?”

“Yes, but don’t do anything, Chibby, he’s not worth it just because he reached for my knee, I already told him I had an old man. This is Ope and Lyla’s wedding, I don’t want to ruin it with a dead Mayan” you stated with a worried frown, Chibs looking back at you, noting your worry before kissing you deeply, knowing it gave you a sense of comfort. Chibs groaned softly, eagerly kissing you before suddenly parting from you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and guiding you directly towards Mateo, sitting down in the chair across from him, pulling you into his lap as you let out a brief yelp. You looked to Mateo to see his reaction, Chibs staring him down, his hand around your waist as Mateo glanced at Chibs before giving you a brief head nod “you’re back, hermosa?” he asked with a smirk, your mouth opening to respond when Chibs nodded casually, looking around “aye, she is. Heard yer interested in ‘er? Can’t say I blame ya, she’s got one hell of an arse” Chibs growled, grabbing your hips and ass tightly, smirking at the small squeal of surprise he tore from your lips. “She’s beautiful and I like beautiful things. She’s got a feisty tongue as well, I like it” Mateo stated with a shrug, leaning back in his seat and Chibs looked up at you to gauge your reaction, seeing you looking down in a shy manner. “Aye, she’s a beaut’, ‘er tits are gorgeous as well and that tongue can do wonders. Would you like ter see ‘em?” Chibs asked casually, Mateo shifting a little uneasily in his seat, your head snapping to look at Chibs with wide eyes, having heard his suggestion. “I’m guessin’ you’re her old man-”

“Aye, that I am. Now, I asked yer a question” Chibs stated roughly, Mateo clearly uncomfortable but he put on a brave face anyway, forcing a smirk as he shrugged “of course, I’d like to try out that tongue as well” Mateo stated and you glanced at him before looking back at Chibs, staring at him with wide eyes to try and see if he was actually proposing this or yanking Mateo’s chain. “Yer don’t mind, do ya, love?” he asked in a much softer tone, his hand gently rubbing up and down your thigh in the way he knew you liked, heat forming in your belly as you remembered CaraCara, the rush you felt from Tig staring at you as Chibs fucked the shit out of you, yet this felt different, almost like revenge. Like Chibs was up to something he wasn’t telling. You looked back at Mateo before nodding with warm cheeks, going along with Chibs’ plans for now, whatever those plans were, looking down shyly and Chibs gently patted your hip, telling you to stand up, which you did. Chibs stood up as well, staring down at Mateo “c’mon, I ain’t gonna offer twice, ‘m only doin’ this ‘cause I know she’ll love it” he stated casually, an arm around your shoulders as he led you to a more forested area, Mateo taking a large gulp of his beer, finishing it, before following.

You felt nervous as you walked with Chibs, the taller man noticing, looking down at you and leaning down “don’ worry, love, it won’t be what he thinks” he whispered and you couldn’t help but smile up at him, a giddy feeling in your stomach. “He’s still creepy” you whispered, Chibs chuckling lightly “aye, won’t be for much longer tho’, don’t worry, love, I got you” Chibs whispered, kissing the top of your head before stopping, turning to face Mateo, studying him before turning back to you, tilting your chin to make you look up at him, his lips meeting yours so softly it almost took your breath away, your eyes fluttering shut, leaning into the kiss and he smirked a little, deepening the kiss before parting from you, looking over at Mateo to see him thoroughly paying attention, making Chibs smirk and he nodded to you, stepping back from you and seemingly gesturing to you, Mateo smirking and the second he stepped closer to you, Chibs landed a punch to his jaw, knocking Mateo to the ground and you flinched in surprise at the hit, Chibs simply running a hand through his hair to straighten it as he glared down at Mateo who was slowly returning to reality, processing what had just happened. “You see, mah old lady ‘ere, mah love, told me a few things. Such as how yer didn’t take ‘no’ fer an answer, how yer reached for ‘er without ‘er permission. Ya see, she’s not one of yer brown whores, she’s an old lady. MY old lady. Now I know tha’ don’ mean much for you brownies, but the next time you ever try ‘n lay a hand on ‘er or anyone else, I’ll cut it off and stuff it up your arse, you got tha’, ‘ese’?” Chibs growled before kicking Mateo in his stomach and punching his face once more, leaning down and grabbing Mateo by his kutte, holding him up to face him. “Now, I asked you a question” he growled, Mateo nodding with fear in his eyes, his lip bleeding, nose busted and eye already turning black and Chibs nodded, patting his cheek harshly before pushing him back to the ground and forcing him out of his kutte, spitting on Mateo before turning to you, nodding you back towards the party, opening his arm for you and you quickly joined him, leaning into his side, your heart still stuck in your throat.

As you got back to the party, Chibs sat you down, made sure you had a fresh, cold beer and walked directly over to the President of the Mayans, giving him the kutte with anger in his eyes. “Yer ought to choose yer members more carefully, this one, ‘Mateo’, didn’t understand wha’ ‘no’ meant. I taught ‘im” he whispered with anger, nearly throwing the kutte at Alvarez “now, I’m only giving you his kutte back as a sign of respect, next time he or anyone else lays a hand on mah old lady, or tries to, I’ll send their kutte back with their hands” Chibs warned, waiting for Alvarez reaction, the Mayan standing up to face Chibs, looking down at the kutte before taking out his knife, the music stopping as people looked on with mixed emotions, until Alvarez threw the kutte on the table, using his knife to rip off the patches. Once that was done, he gave them to Chibs, turning to look at you and gesturing to you “we understand what ‘no’ means” was all he said, Chibs nodding as Alvarez put away the knife, the music resuming and people started to talk once more as he walked over to you again, sitting down next to you, putting the patches on the table in front of you. “You-... you got him kicked out?” you asked in shock, Chibs merely glancing over at Alvarez before looking back at you “Alvarez didn’t take kindly to ‘im not takin’ ‘no’ fer an answer” was all he said before leaning back in the chair, throwing an arm around you and you happily leaned into his side, eyes closing as you enjoyed the peaceful moment.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

You were working on one of the cars when you spotted them, power-walking to their bikes and you put down your tools, hurrying over as you wiped your hands on your overalls and white t-shirt that was stained anyway, reaching Chibs with a worried frown on your face. “Chibby?” you asked softly, keeping up with their pace as they walked to their bikes, Chibs stopping to lean down and kiss you softly “tell you when I get back, love” he whispered and you nodded, leaning up and kissing him, stepping back as he moved to his bike, only to turn when you heard the sirens. You glanced at Chibs before looking back at the cop cars as they drove into the lot with the new sheriff, ‘Teddy’ as Jax had called him, so you guessed his last name was Roosevelt or something like that. The sheriff got out and you felt someone stand behind you, the familiar sensation making you lean into his chest, his arm draping over you, over your chest, holding you close and protectively as you both watched the sheriff walk by and walk up to Clay. You watched the interaction, not able to hear anything but suddenly another siren was heard as well as a truck horn, your eyes wide as you turned and looked at a fire truck as it pulled into the lot, lights flashing as it honked for people to move. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding” you mumbled in anger, looking back at Roosevelt with annoyance, scoffing lightly as you shook your head. “Doesn’t he have some paper weights to shuffle? Speeding tickets to write?” you asked in an annoyed tone, Chibs leaning down and kissing your neck softly, lingering there “don’t do anythin’-”

“I’m not going to do anything-”

“I can tell when ye’re about to do somethin’, love, don’t do it. Jax and Ope needs us, just let this get over with, yeah?” he asked softly, hearing you sigh softly before nodding “okay… I won’t attack” you joked lightly, Chibs smirking as he kissed your neck again “good girl” he purred, feeling you shiver against him and you smiled up at him, kissing him briefly before walking back to where you had been working before, ignoring the horn blaring and honking as the fire department walked into the clubhouse, your eyes glaring at them over your shoulder before you got back to fixing the car, laying down on the creeper and sliding back under the car with your toolbox, a frown still on your face as you worked on the brakes, trying to take your mind off of what could possibly be happening to Jax and Opie that would need the club this much that they’d let this slide. It wasn’t long until you couldn’t take it anymore, staring up at the car above you before rolling out, slamming your tools down in the toolbox and practically marching over to the clubhouse, walking inside, eyes wide but just before you could ‘attack’, as Chibs would without a doubt call it, he caught you, pulling you against his chest. “Not the time fer it, love” he whispered, a heavy sigh leaving you as you flinched when the wall was broken down with all the pictures from the arrests of everyone, your eyes closed as you briefly turned your head away “piece of shi-”

“Love… Jax ‘n Opie needs us, we’ll get this done with, then go get ‘em” he whispered again, hearing you sigh heavily before nodding “I know a carpenter… from Denmark… he travels a lot and he’s good, might be able to help rebuild this place, since this piece of shit sherri-” Chibs placed a hand over your mouth as you began to shout the last part, your eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head and your arms crossed over your chest, mumbling something into Chib’s hand and when he finally removed it, you scoffed a little “what’d ya say, love?”

“I said; ‘I’m alright now’” you muttered with a small pout, Chibs leaning down and kissing the top of your head “do me a favor, call that lad of yours, eh?”

“Will do, might even be able to get half the work for free… if he’s still obsessed with me” you muttered, walking outside while getting out your phone, Chibs frowning at the last sentence, looking after you until he couldn’t see you anymore. You dialed the number and put the phone to your ear, a hand on your hip as the phone rang, and rang, and rang… until finally someone picked up.

“Hej, det er Lukas Lynggaard.(Hello, this is Lukas Lynggaard)”

“Hey Lukas! Det er (Y/N), fra amerika? Er du stadigvæk i amerika?(Hey Lukas! It’s (Y/N), from America? Are you still in America?)”

“Hej (Y/N)! Indtil videre, ja, hvorfor?(Hey (Y/N)! For now, yeah, why?)”

“Har brug for lidt hjælp i en by der hedder Charming, den er i San Joaquin Valley of California, tror du at du kunne komme herhen så hurtigt som muligt? Har en væg og nogle døre som skal erstattes, muligvis også et bord men er ikke sikker på om der bliver nødt til at få lavet et nyt eller hvad. Hvad siger du?(I need a bit of help in a town called Charming, it’s in San Joaquin Valley of California, do you think you can come here as soon as possible? There’s a wall and some doors that need replacing, maybe a table too but I’m not sure if we’ll need a new one or what. What do you say?)”

“Hvor stor er skaden da?(How big is the damage?)”

“Stor… har virkelig brug for det her, Lukas…(Big… I really need this, Lukas…)” you begged softly, hearing a long pause before a sigh “lad mig se hvor lang tid det tager at komme til Charming, jeg ringer tilbage.(let me see how long it’ll take to get to Charming, I’ll call back later.)”

“Super! Tak(Great! Thanks)” you hung up, turning around to see none other than the new sheriff, your brief joy instantly gone as you stared at him as he slowly walked up to you. “What kind of language was that?”

“Danish, I spent a few years in Denmark, you learn to pick up a few things..”

“So, why are you here, (Y/N)? Do you work here ooorr….”

“Yes, I work here. And I’m with one who also works here. So, I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know how talking with me could help you with any of your big, important sheriff duties” you feigned innocence as you mocked him, a soft, sugar-sweet smile on your lips and he narrowed his eyes at you “who were you calling?”

“A carpenter, we’ll need to replace that wall you tore down without reason, and the doors, and the table, and whatever else you broke. And don’t act like this was an actual inspection. This was a show of force but you got these people all wrong. They’re mechanics, they love motorcycles and they’re good people. Just because they wear a kutte and ride a harley doesn’t mean they’re bad people. So you can wear your sunglasses and tell them how to dress but it doesn’t change the fact that these people here, the people of Charming know them. They’re the ones who fix their cars, they’re the neighbors who don’t mind giving a hand when the sink is leaking and they’re the people who do blood runs and ride for charity.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“It’s the truth. You’re new here, sheriff, so I’ll give you a tip. It doesn’t matter how qualified you are for the job or where you come from. It doesn’t matter about color or race or what tiny little village or big, loud city you come from. This is Charming. If you want to be successful here in any way, at least sit down with Clay, and not while taking an ax to his table.”

“Are you always this feisty?”

“Only when someone comes into my home and tears up shit just because they’re having a temper tantrum and wants to prove they’re king of the playpen” you finished, still wearing your sugar-sweet smile until it dropped suddenly when you turned away and walked back to the car you had been working on, throwing sheriff ‘Teddy’ one last glare before laying down on the creeper and rolling back under the car with your toolbox.

[frjimdefroque]

!!Hey, so uh, kind of important announcement. This one hurts like hell to make but I think I should say it, because it’s just the truth, and I don’t want to hurt or surprise anyone.

Tumblr shutting down— I generally don’t really believe it’s going to happen, but it could. And that sucks. Tumblr’s just been around for so long and there’s so many communities out here to support it, it’s hard to see it go (if it does).

But that’s not really what hurts. If Tumblr does shut down, I just don’t plan on moving.

I’ve seriously met the most amazing people on here. Genuinely. Lifelong friends if the circumstances were different. I couldn’t shout them all out if I wanted to, there’s just so many people who I love from the deepest parts of my soul. But unfortunately, Sister Imperator said it best.

“Eveything that has a beginning has an end. There just has to be an orderly transition.”

Again, I doubt Tumblr will be gone, and if it has to end, it will be a slow and painful death. I just don’t think I’ll be able to keep up as life continues to move on.

I will be slightly active on Discord (aspiratadinferos), probably not super active since I get busy and just generally don’t like using it. Instagram is the same way, I will not be sharing my private account since… well, that is private. But if you’d like to chat, my DMs are open for chaintheghoul on Insta. (It’s a private acc so you’ll have to follow me first)

One last thing, which I know will upset many of you. If Tumblr doesn’t shut down, when the lore for my characters sort of closes out or their arcs are done (most likely this summer since I won’t be super busy with volunteer work), I think I’m going to end my journey then. It’s been such a wonderful run as Jim, Chain, Terzo (a little bit haha), and Abel. But unfortunately, I just don’t think I can continue to keep up with it all. It hurts, but it’s probably the best choice for me.

Do not worry, however, we’re not done yet. I’m still here to write depressing angst and torture your characters, even if it will end eventually.

Keep your head up, kiddo, we’ve still got a few miles to run. I promise, I’ll hold your hand the whole way.

And with that, I give full permission for Ray to take over as Jim when I’m done (/j. Anyone can do it idgaf. Actually, MAKE AN ARMY OF JIM DEFROQUES IN MY NAME!!!! ..just wait ‘till I’m done LOL)

One last thing I want you all to remember. No matter what happens, no matter how dark life may seem, please, always to be yourself. It’s such a gift every day to be able to see you. Just who you are.

I promise, this isn’t the end, nor the beginning of the end. Just a new chapter for each of us. Thank you all for the core memories. Through life and death, I promise to carry it all with me <3

-Charlie :)

damn. that was a lot more heartfelt than it should have been. I PROMISE IT AIN’T OVER YET. I STILL HAVE SOME ANGST LEFT IN ME 😔💔

[celestiall0tus]

Adamsapple Fluff Week - Day 1 - Garden/Night Sky/Wings - Breathe

SIDE NOTE!! I am not capable of writing pure fluff, but I will be participating in this. So, expect fluff with angst because pure fluff bores the shit out of me. Anyway! For @adamsapplefluffweek starting March 9th for any others out there! Enjoy the continuation from the Angst Week!!

~~

Day 1 || Day 2 || Day 3 || Day 4 || Day 5 || Day 6 || Day 7

            Lucifer mindlessly strolled through the hotel as he was wrapped up in his thoughts. It had been a week since Adam’s involuntarily reunion with Cain. Charlie had granted Adam time to recover as the wounds Cain inflicted on Adam were deep and ran the risk of scarring. He had tried to see Adam a few times, but Adam seemed absent. He was worried about the impact of seeing Cain and everything else Adam was dealing with.

            Lucifer considered a little longer what to do when an idea crossed his mind. He snapped his fingers and teleported to the bar. To his relief, there wasn’t anyone there yet. He took a seat as Husk turned to him.

            “What can I get you, your Majesty?” Husk asked.

            “A listening ear,” Lucifer answered.

            “Adam?”

            “Yeah. Uh, he’s not doing so well.”

            “No kidding. Man hasn’t been down for his usual soda runs. Cain did a real number on his old man.”

            “Would you… would you know the whole story with Adam and Cain?”

            Husk raised a brow. “You don’t?”

            “Sadly, no. I admit I wasn’t able to keep tabs on humanity outside the souls that ended up down here. And that day was the first I met or heard about Cain.”

            “Well, it’s not a pretty tale. We were told Cain was a farmer and Abel a shepherd. They both made offerings to God, and God refused Cain’s in favor of Abel’s. In a jealous fit, Cain killed Abel with a stone and was cursed.”

            Lucifer furrowed his brows as his face twisted in confusion.

            “What’s with the face?” Husk asked.

            “That… are you sure? That… that doesn’t sound right,” Lucifer remarked.

            “Look, it’s what we were told.”

            Lucifer let out a nervous laugh. “Right. Not concerning at all. Anyway! I’ve tried to talk with Adam since I patched him up, but he’s just… out of it. You know?”

            “He did get his ass kicked by his exiled son. And judging by those wounds, I imagine he’s still in lots of pain. Not to mention the shit he’s already going through.”

            “That’s why I want to do something. The little guard pointed out how no one had really given him the chance and antagonized him. Sure, I’ve seen you retaliate, but only when he’s being an ass to you. But what else has been done?”

            “Cherri is probably the biggest offender. She’s still hurt over Sir Pentious and has made it her mission to make Adam as miserable as possible. Him ignoring your love confession didn’t make things any better. Nor did your reaction. Made worse since Lyre’s arrival as they’re using her to toy with Adam.”

            “What? How?”

            Husk looked around, then leaned forward. “That Lyre, she’s some sort of former spymaster. I thought the guards Adam has were bad, but Lyre is far worse. Cherri, and Angel, have been able to pry information from Lyre and get her to go along with their schemes.”

            “What? But how? Does Lyre have something against Adam, or what?”

            “Not that she’s let slip, though I doubt it. Lyre is more so easily bought. All it takes is some books and she’s in.”

            Lucifer hummed. “O-kay, but I still want to do something for him. Maybe give him a place all his own. You know? A place where he can really feel safe.”

            “That would be nice. I can’t imagine he’s enjoying his time. And I’m sure a change of scenery could help his mood. Plus it would be a way to escape Cherri’s wrath.”

            “Then it’s settled! Good talk, barkeep! Good day now.”

            Lucifer teleported out of the bar area and searched for Lyre. He struggled with his nerves as he checked each sitting room. He had made a point to avoid her because of her similarities to Sera. He had thought he could stomach any form of Sera after all this time, but Lyre proved that wrong. His search came to an end as he found her in one of the last sitting rooms. He offered a nervous smile while she stared at him with her stoic expression past her book.

            “May I help you, Lucifer?” Lyre asked.

            Chills ran up Lucifer’s spine as Lyre’s voice carried too much of Sera. “Uh, I wanted to talk to you.”

            “That’s a switch. You usually avoid me.”

            “Yeah, well, uh, I want to make a deal with you.”

            Lyre snapped her book shut as her full attention was on Lucifer. “Why would I make a deal with you?”

            “Well, you see-.”

            “It’s about Adam, isn’t it?”

            “A-and if it is?”

            “There is no if. You have done a poor job of concealing your own feelings towards the wayward fool. The stares at his poor, wounded face. The puppy dog eyes as you gaze longingly at him as he leaves. You want so much to be with a disgusting creature that you put no effort into hiding it. You’re lucky most are too wrapped up in their own woes to notice the so-called king wanted to be made the first man’s bitch.”

            Lucifer flinched. “W-well, yes, I do want to be with him, but that’s not what he needs now. He needs people to help him. And I want to help him.”

            “Then why are you bothering me with intentions of making a deal?”

            “Because I heard about you being used to torment Adam. I want to make a deal so you don’t ever again.”

            “Is that so? Judging who your source is, I wager they told you my price. Do you have something worth what you’re asking?”

            “I may have a library with restricted texts that are only for my and Lilith’s eyes. That could include you if you don’t help Cherri.”

            Excitement and hope flashed in Lyre’s eyes before they faded. “Very well. I accept this.”

            “Excellent! I’ll get you a key, and-!”

            “The garden,” Lyre cut in.

            “Huh?” Lucifer asked.

            “Adam misses the Garden, Eden. If you want to make a place just for him to feel safe, make it like Eden.”

            Lucifer’s eyes widened as fear held him in a chokehold. “H-h-h-how did you know what I was planning?”

            Lyre snorted and opened her book again. “You already got that answer. Do with it what you will.”

            Lucifer staggered back as he teleported to his tower. He fell back and dug into a pile of rubber ducks. He took several deep breaths as he struggled to collect himself. He crawled out of the pile and scooped up the Adam rubber duck he had. He held it close as he felt his nerves calmed, his heart stopped racing, and his breathing was even. He sighed and looked down at the Adam rubber duck. He gave it a kiss on the forehead before he placed it back on his worktable.

            Lucifer took a deep breath before he stood. He pulled up a chair to his table. He shook himself off and cracked his knuckles as he got to work.

~~

            Adam laid on his bed in complete darkness aside from the light from Lightning’s battle suit. He stared at the wall, lost in his thoughts over his encounter with Cain. The fight with his son played on loop in his head as new details surfaced and was like a stab each time. The pain and betrayal in Cain’s eyes. The shadows of twisted, chaotic energy that shrouded Cain periodically. The brief moments Cain reverted to his humanoid form, clutching the mark on his chest in pain. The tears Cain cried as Adam looked up, battered and broken from Cain’s wrath. It all mixed with ancient memories of those early days. His refusal to listen to Calmana and Azura to the arrival of the angels and a mysterious woman. His hope for their return even as they branded Cain and tossed him into the pit with Lucifer and Lilith. The blind obedience as they left and had abandoned them again, leaving them without either son.

            “Fuck. Hey, Lightning?” Adam whispered.

            “You speak. And here I was enjoying the silence,” Lightning remarked.

            “Fuck you too.”

            “What’s up?”

            “You work for that shadow bitch, the one that summoned Cain. Are they close?”

            “And if they are?”

            “I… I want to see him again.”

            Lightning shifted nervously. “That may not be the best idea.”

            “Yeah, well, what else seems to be new.”

            “Wait, do you… feel bad? About what you did to Cain? After all those years of demonizing him?”

            Adam flinched. He tried to sit up as pain tore through his body.

            “Don’t sit up so fast. You’ll reopen a wound,” Lightning scolded.

            “Well, listen here, bitch, fuck you. Alright? Did you think maybe I was still hurt when I did all that? He took away Abel from me!”

            “Did he really, or are you just trying to cover up the fact you-.”

            “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

            Lightning grunted as she moved closer. Adam leaned away as she got up in his face.

            “You were powerless. You were no where to be seen. If you must blame Cain for what happened, add yourself to that as well. You. Did. Nothing.”

            A knock interrupted Adam and Lightning. Lightning stood as Rain stepped inside.

            “Lucifer is here to see Adam,” Rain announced.

            “Let him in,” Lightning ordered.

            “What? Don’t-!”

            Rain ignored Adam as she let Lucifer in, then vanished. Lucifer closed the door behind him and moved through the darkness to Adam’s bedside.

            “What do you want?” Adam snapped.

            “Oh! You’re talking again! That’s a relief. I was getting worried. A-anyway, I have something for you,” Lucifer said.

            “What makes you think I want anything from you?” Adam spat.

            “Maybe you should see what it is before you get angry for no reason. Besides, you’ll love it. Now, hold out your hands.”

            Adam snorted and rolled his eyes but obliged. Lucifer placed a red, crystal guitar pick in Adam’s hand. Adam raised a brow as he looked it over.

            “Uh, thanks? I don’t typically use guitar picks, but it’s cool, I guess.”

            “Well, there’s more to it than meets the eyes. May I?”

            Adam watched as Lucifer placed the guitar pick in the palm of Adam’s hand. Lucifer hesitated before he placed a hand under Adam’s and closed his fingers around the guitar pick. Red sand swirled around them both. Adam heard Lightning yell, but it was cut off as they were teleported away. Adam’s eyes widened as he saw he was in a lush, vibrant garden full of beautiful, hellish plants and flowers.

            “What… is this?” Adam asked.

            “A paradise all your own. I’ve been thinking on what Lightning said that we haven’t been really giving you a chance. Then the barkeep told me of what Cherri had been doing, and it all sank in. I thought it might help if I offered you a sliver of paradise,” Lucifer explained.

            “Right. Me and who else?”

            “Just you. This garden, it’s yours. There’s no way in or out without that guitar pick.”

            Adam frowned as he looked down at he guitar pick. “Why are you doing this? First the talking to me when I wanted nothing to do with you. Then you patching me up after my fight with Cain. Now this? What are you playing at?”

            Lucifer sighed. “I know it’s not easy. Being ripped away from everything you’ve ever known. Or, well, knew for a long time. To be in a place where you don’t feel welcome. To be faced with everything you’ve ever done. It… it sucks. I had thousands of years to adjust, and I still can’t say I fully have. You’re an ass, but you don’t deserve to go through all that. No one does. So, I thought this would help.”

            Adam blinked as he looked around. It was far from what he had back in Eden which was full of lush, vibrant green forests, no shadows and only light, and with chatter of countless animals to live with him. Here the plants were darker and almost sinister-looking, but carried a strange beauty of their own. Above him was a glass ceiling that gave way to a fabricated night sky like he saw after Eden. A thing he originally hated but grew to love for the stars and calm. He stared up at the stars, entranced by them until Lucifer cleared his throat. He blinked and looked down at Lucifer.

            “So? What do you think?”

            Adam frowned. A small part of him wanted to refuse this gift. He wanted to refuse anything from Lucifer after everything, but he couldn’t. He hated that he couldn’t bring himself to blame Lucifer for everything. He hated that he started to realize truths he never wanted to face. Above all, he hated that it was Lucifer that gave him something like this while Heaven never did when it was all he ever wanted.

            “It’s… it’s not Eden, but it’s still something. Thank you,” Adam remarked.

            Lucifer smiled. “So, uh, I can leave now, if you like. You know, explore your paradise on your own, without anyone. I know you don’t exactly like anyone here. Me particularly. So, I can leave.”

            Adam furrowed his brows as Lucifer’s struck a cord with him. He had admitted he hadn’t wanted to talk with Lucifer before, but something felt different. The idea of Lucifer leaving bothered him and he wanted Lucifer to stay.

            “So, yeah, I’m going to-.”

            “Stay,” Adam interrupted.

            Lucifer’s eyes widened. “Come again?”

            “Fuck, clean out your ears. You can stay, but I don’t think I’ll be exploring. Everything still hurts from that fight. And… I just….”

            Adam trailed away as he looked up at the false sky and the stars. He sighed as he stared up at them until feathery wings fell around him. He looked down at Lucifer, who sat next to him and put his wings around Adam. He expected the urge to push Lucifer away to consume him, but it wasn’t there. In its place was a warmth he hadn’t felt before.

            Adam allowed himself a soft sigh as he stared up the sky with Lucifer. He noticed small sounds like a babbling creek and animal calls from within the garden. He was taken back to those peaceful days as everything that plagued him seemed far away. A smile slipped onto his face as sleepiness washed over him. He leaned over and rested his head atop Lucifer’s.

            “Thank you for this. I know it’ll never be Eden, but it’s so much more,” Adam whispered.

            Lucifer smiled. “You’ve been through a lot. I think you earned more than a break.”

            Adam hummed as he closed his eyes. He listened to the sounds of the garden as he fell into the first peaceful sleep since Eden.

[rius-cave]

So, why do you think Adam was said to be the first human soul in Heaven while Abel clearly exists?

Honestly, I have four theories:

1: Abel’s soul was stuck in a sort of purgatory (I know the concept of a “Purgatory” is probably different in Hazbin but I’m talking about a place that’s like in between Hell and Heaven you know) and they kinda pulled him out of there. This is personally my favorite because it also has the potential to be Abel and Adam angst 😌

2: This is more of a crack theory and not actually serious, but, Abel is Lucifer’s son and therefore technically isn’t the first full “human” soul to enter Heaven.

3: This one is based on a comic I saw on Twitter, where Adam saw Cain attack Abel, ran to Cain absolutely devastated and furious, raised his hands at him, and Cain stroke him with a sort of spear in panic because he thought Adam was going to end him. Adam died right then and there and went to Heaven, while Abel was still alive and bleeding out. Eventually Abel died of blood loss and went to Heaven as well. Like this one too.

4: Yeah and here’s one I dislike and don’t think is likely. This one says that in Hellaverse Cain killed Adam instead of Abel. I just find it stupid.

I'm gonna be so fr with you, I think the actual real explanation is that they forgot about Abel when they wrote that line LMAO DGJDFG

but BUT! If we want to play Matpat and come up with an in-universe theory, hmmm..... well, before we knew about Abel being in Heaven, I really liked the theory that it was because he actually went to Hell. He would've been a prideful person in life, which could've been part of what pushed Cain to kill him, and because of that he actually ended up being the first person in Hell. Obviously that doesn't hold up anymore which bums me out LOL

I think another possibility apart from the ones you listed, is that maybe Cain never actually killed him at all. Maybe he did something else to Abel, or the whole Abel story was just a cover up and Abel ran away instead. It wouldn't surprise me if they deviated slightly from the biblical story for drama

..

...

.......

(MINOR SPOILERS COMING FROM THE LEAKS DON'T READ THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS) Abel running away for whatever reason would be consistent with what was shown of him in the leaks, since Abel doesn't seem to like taking decisions and lacks a backbone lol

[agendabymooner]

satellite ! max v. x ofc (hearth sister!ofc)

“i’m here, right here. wishing i could be there for you.”

summary: when the news of the downfall of her racing journey broke out, max verstappen promised to never let her down like that ever again. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)

content warning: confrontation and good crying sesh with max and ofc, panic attack, alludes to smut (not graphic), use of explicit language, angst, set in vs fashion show 2016

note: 300 FOLLOWERS?! you guys are insane and i love you all so much!!! thank you!!!

masterlist

[translation: i’m just putting my french fluency into use. thank you paris!]

tagged victoriassecret, steviemarlz

liked by danielricciardo, aimeeyh, max33verstappen

comments have been limited

charles_leclerc such a heartwarming caption from you ❤️

sylvieeford charles leclerc? hardly know her 🤐

landonorris my best friend ate 👏 liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford thank u best friend

tillymarie ughhh you girls make me proud ❤️ liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford i’m always eager to please 😍

danielricciardo when the mini boss can do anything >> liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford call me barbie 😉

max33verstappen what a beaut 😁 liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford don’t get too soft on me now, caddy 😂

Her standard was Max, and god, did that ever ruin her chance to have a rebound. Whenever she got the chance to go on dates, she seemed to cower from the thought. As if she was worried about not getting along with the said dates.

Speaking of anxiety.

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was on the go, and to say that it was nerve wracking would be quite a shame. You would think that she would be alright with walking down the runway now— but to know that some of her peers were here to support her, three days after the last race? Yeah, she might as well shit on her pants. 

She had everyone else to be nervous about; Lady Gaga was there for fucks sake. She was in the same room as Adriana Lima and Elsa Hosk. Hell, even Abel would be performing during her segment— why was she nervous about seeing her driver friends while she walked down the runway? 

She supposed that no one had seen her pose in her underwear before. That, and that they all grew up with her— it was weird to see your childhood friend all grown up, dressed in lingerie and nothing else. 

Not that Max Verstappen hadn’t seen that months ago. 

Fuck, Max was going to be there! 

She knew she was nervous. She just didn’t realize that it was because of him. Why would she be nervous? After all, working together had a major effect on their relationship. And… sleeping together once. 

Because he didn’t bring it up anymore after their conversation that day. He was friendly with her, but not once did he mention that he wanted to do it again. She wasn’t sure if it was because of their workplace relationship or their general friendship, but she was sure as hell that it hurt. Not that she would ever tell him that. Not especially after she found a woman clinging to him at their next race’s afterparty. 

So it did hurt. But as a prideful daughter of a miserable mother, she kept a straight face and smiled at everyone. 

After seeing him that night, she kept their relationship as civil as it could be— only listening to him “Maxplain” everything he could speak about, and offering him advice whenever he needed it. She failed to mention a lot of things in her life— like how Abel was performing tonight. Max only found out through their friends hours prior to the event and while it pissed him off to no end, he couldn’t afford to upset Sylvie on her special day. This was her day after all. She was debuting as a VS model. 

Tilly and Aimee had managed to see Sylvie and Stevie before the show as they prepared. They had mostly spoken about how they were able to get to the location easily and how Soren fussed when Tilly left him at Toto’s watch. 

“The boys are there,” Aimee pointed her head towards the direction of the audience, “I told them not to be foolish this time around.”

“Did you tell them to behave and not bark?” Stevie giggled, making Sylvie cackle. Sylvie’s makeup artist shot her a warning to not ruin her makeup by crying in laughter. 

“They know not to,” Tilly rolled her eyes, “those men have PR managers to answer to otherwise.” 

“I think George and Alex were only there chilling,” Aimee said, “I didn’t think someone could have anxiety even if they’re just an audience— not until I saw Max.” 

“Max? Why?” Now that piqued Sylvie’s curiosity.

Tilly answered, “I dunno. It must’ve been the adrenaline from Abu Dhabi, if you were to ask me. He’ll be fine once the show starts.” 

The beating of her heart slowed down when her segment started, only focusing on the front and had only given Abel a look of indifference before making her way through the middle, posing with her head tilting slightly to the right. Walking back, she glanced on her right and watched Max’s eyes stare at hers. 

She kept her head in his direction for a moment, not even realizing that she walked past Abel as her ears muted his song and voice, only paying attention to Max before looking back in front of her and walking off. 

Max knew that she had seen him with his not-really-girlfriend in each race, and it was extremely stupid of him. Rebounds shouldn’t be a thing at all, he told himself. He knew how he felt about her, yet after spending some time with her in a bedroom, he seemed to chicken out and not tell her about the love he had for her.

He always wondered how she went from insulting him jokingly to having a civil conversation and agreeing to everything he said. It was wrong. Why didn’t she say something about it? They agreed not to lie to each other, did they not? 

He seemed to feel like a hypocrite just saying that. But he was more than willing to admit that she was just as beautiful as she was before. He only started to feel different when they shared an intimate moment with each other, one that he’d like to relive for as long as he could breathe.

But they weren’t even aware that admitting would have to take time. After all, there were more problems to solve. 

Partying had never been a priority for her, if you were to ask, but Kendall insisted that Sylvie come along before the younger girl could even dive headfirst into her work throughout their break. The third Hearth daughter only nodded and dressed up as nicely as she could, only deciding that she would only drink one glass of daiquiri. What she didn’t know, however, was that Kendall had invited her guy friends to join them at the party. She had never felt so annoyed— why wouldn’t Kendall tell her in the first place that she’d invite them? Not that she wasn’t enthralled at the thought. Some warning would have sufficed. 

But it wasn’t their presence that made her want to go home. 

Everyone was too busy dancing to even sit in their booth, leaving Sylvie behind while she scrolled through her Twitter. She liked the peaceful atmosphere that the club could offer in a booth. And her blocking Abel was definitely something. 

Her eyes found a tweet that left her blood running cold. No.

“Sylvie’s Failed F1 Career: Explained”

From top to bottom, the story of her discontinued journey in Formula One was splayed out in a gossip website— a rather accredited one, while you’re at it. People would normally say not to believe what you see on the internet, but the truth was published and spread in the Formula One community and show business. 

Nobody knew what had happened before. Not until now. Whoever the fuck were these anonymous sources, they were nothing but assholes. Everything in the article was detailed from head to toe. Some stuff that people didn’t know were put up for everyone to see and shame her with.

Then panic started to spread across her body, her feet stumbling up as she marched down towards the dance floor, her hand gripping on Max’s shirt as she dragged him to a seedy area of the club no one had ever stepped foot on. 

“Mustang, what—“

“Cut the bullshit, Max,” she spewed out venomously before she shoved her phone in his hand. “Did you do this?” 

His eyes peered down on the article on screen as they widened. He looked up to see her teary eyes appearing once more. 

“No,” he answered honestly, but she wasn’t having it.

“You knew what happened, you’re the one who reported me, Max,” she cried out, her body shaking in anger and panic as she continued, “you saw that. You told the officials—“

“But that doesn’t mean I would fuck your career over!” Max exclaimed in frustration. “I told you that if you had somehow given me a heads up that they were kicking you out, I would have gone back and made them review it. Me not being there when you were being questioned was the biggest mistake I’ve made, because I know you. You’re honest. I would’ve known. I would’ve admitted that I was wrong if I heard you speak for yourself.”

“Then why do this? If you respect me then why do this now?”

“Sylvie, schatje,” he took a deep breath before looking at her again, “I would not— for the life of me— treat you like that. God, I would never forgive myself if I did. So I swear that isn’t me.” 

He didn’t even realize how bad their situation was until she started crying and crumbling in his arms, the music still tampering with the hysterical sound of her sobs. He tried to comfort her right there, but the loudness of the club only messed with both of their emotions and anxiety as he picked up their stuff and hailed for a cab. 

It didn’t take him long to find his room as she continued to cry in his arms. She spoke about her worries about her career as she sobbed, not wanting to lose her job in Red Bull and as a model because of this disaster they both called a lie. How was she going to explain all of this to her family? She asked herself as she sniffled, wiping her tears away. She hadn’t even realized that Max was crying too. 

All of this happened because he believed his friends who couldn’t give anymore shit about him. All of this happened to her because of him. All he could do now was apologize with tears. 

“I- I- I’ll do my best to fix this,” Max stammered, wiping his tears away to hide it away from her as she looked up. “Let me please help you fix this. This was my doing and I- I can’t hurt you like this, Sylv. I can’t afford to have you lose your career because of me. Just… please, forgive me and let me help.” 

“Please, Max,” she whispered. “I can’t be silenced anymore, Max. I- I need someone to speak for me.” 

“We’ll be speaking for you,” Max promised, leaning his forehead against hers. “I’ll… I don’t care if it ruins my own career, I just know yours cannot be ruined because of me. I’ll be here for you, schatje. Just have me.”

[grim-the-dog]

Music themed Five asks!

A song that reminds you of your Five and why

A nostalgic song for them and why

A song that would play over a fight scene for them.

A song that reminds them of [pick a or multiple favorite characters] and why

A song that they love to run to

A song they don't actually like but a close friend LOVES so they pretend to like it

Any specific bands/artists that they're super into

Songs they constantly request Radio Abel to play and what Jack and Eugene think of those songs

Songs they constantly ask Sam to play and what he thinks of them

Who at Abel does your Five think has the best music taste and why

You're gonna regret this, I have so many songs picked out for him. Might link a playlist with the answers here.

• "A song that reminds you of your Five and why"

Dead Bite by Hollywood Undead, July by American Murder Song, and Despicable by Grandson. All 3 songs reflect his struggle with being seen as a monster and untrustworthy, plus his self depreciation. He will, however, embrace that "monster" side later on.

• "A nostalgic song for them and why"

Dynasty by Rina Sawayama. He can't remember much about his life before the labs, but he remembers that his parents fought a lot and also put a lot of pressure on him. He deeply resonates with the song and wants to leave his own mark, not his family's.

• "A song that would play over a fight scene for them."

STFU! by Rina Sawayama, Wolf in Sheep's Clothing by Set It Off, and good ol' Monster by Skillet.

If you want angst, Est-ce Que Tu M'aimes? by GIMS when [spoiler: finding Sam after Moonchild], and Yellow by Coldplay for his final stand, when it comes.

• "A song that reminds them of [pick a or multiple favorite characters] and why"

Sam: So Far Away, by RED. Sam was the first person to approach Five without fear, and has since become a rock in his life.

Janine: Fireproof by Pillar. She's very strong willed, and he deeply respects that.

• "A song that they love to run to"

RUNRUNRUN by Dutch Melrose, and Runnin by Adam Lambert.

• "A song they don't actually like but a close friend LOVES so they pretend to like it"

Sam absolutely makes him run to HOT TO GO by Chapell Roan.

• "Any specific bands/artists that they're super into"

Rina Sawayama. The hyperfixation is through the roof after watching John Wick 4. Also any edgy early 2000's music. I'm talking Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Skillet, Simple Plan- any edgy Pokemon or Sonic AMV you can think off, those songs.

• "Songs they constantly request Radio Abel to play and what Jack and Eugene think of those songs"

He makes them play and lot of Måneskin, and honestly it gets everyone hyped because of the rhythm. It does get a bit old after a while, however, so he switches to Raury to mix things up a bit.

• "Songs they constantly ask Sam to play and what he thinks of them"

A lot of Rina Sawayama, mainly XS, STFU!, and Eye For An Eye. But if he's feeling vulnerable enough, he will ask for Chosen Family and Holy (Til You Let Me Go). Lots of trauma for this boy, especially regarding his gender identity and sexuality.

Sam can tell if Five is going to ask to stay at the comms shack that night just by the music he's asking for.

• "Who at Abel does your Five think has the best music taste and why"

Janine, as she introduced him to a lot of classic and modern Rock and Alt music. He will spend the majority of his free time with an old iPod she let him have. He has definitely found solace in music, the louder the better.

I loved this ask, and I swear I put way less songs than I wanted to. Thanks!

[jadarnr]

Hello everyone!

Back here after 4 long years… Breaking the ice with my fave #OTP game…

List 10 OTPs without reading the questions:

1. Crowley/Aziraphale (Good Omens)

2. Belle/Rumple (Once upon a time)

3. Christina/Owen (Gray’s Anatomy)

4. Olivia/Fitz (Scandal)

5. Violet/Dietfried (Violet Evergarden)

6. Daria/Trent (Daria)

7. Liza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist)

8. Gintoki/Tsukyo (Gintama)

9. Elijah/Hayley (The Originals)

10. Esther/Abel (Trinity Blood)

Now answer:

1. Remember the episode when you started shippin' couple number 6?

“Road Warriors”. Trent looked EXACTLY like my first high school crush 😛

2. Have you ever read a fanfiction about the #2?

Just ONE? C’mon are you kidding me??? Who do you think you are talking to?

3. Has a photo of 4 ever been on your screensaver/profile photo/Tumblr?

Mmmh no, not this one

4. If number 7 suddenly split today, what would be your reaction?

Well… they official never got together so… That would be good news because at least I would know that they were together at least for a while 🥲

5. Why number 1 is so important?

Firstly because it unleashed my unconditional love for David Tennant 😍 And secondly... well I report what I once read on somewhere (maybe here):

Aziraphale and Crowley somehow check all the boxes for me in terms of a perfect ship.

Forbidden Romance? You’ve got it. Friends to Lovers? Yep. Pining? Check. Mutual Pining? Double check. Idiots in love? I have not seen two dumbasses more in love. Slowburn? 6000 years. Historical Romance? Yes is an understatement. One thinks they aren’t good enough for the other, while the other is head over heels for them? Absolutely. Miscommunications leading to angst? You could’t find two individuals who are worse at communicating. Bicker like an old married couple? “Oh lord, please heal this bike”. Pet names? angel. Are very soft but also bastards? Yep.

6. Is pair number 9 funny or serious?

Serious… too much sometimes. Elijah, you needed to loosen up a bit 🙄

7. Of all the couples which one has more chemistry?

Mmmh… hard question. I’d say 1,4,9

8. Of all the couples which one has the strongest bond?

9 no doubt about that 😭

9. How many times have you read/seen things about the couple number 10?

Unfortunately there is very little material around.. 😭2-3 noteworthy fanfictions, a few dozen drawings. (Esther/Abel shippers, wherever you are, step up!)

10. Which of the ships lasted the longest?

Number 9 and 2. And number 1 of course. No one can convince me otherwise 😬

11. How many times, if any, has number 6 broke?

None! Because they were never together 😩

12. If the world were suddenly in a zombie apocalypse, which would survive between 2 and 8?

Number 8 no doubt!!!

13. Has 7 ever had to hide their relationship?

IF they were together, I would say yes. But wait! Maybe they were together and hid it too well!!! 😝

14. Is 4 still together?

It is not clear to us or to them

15. Is 10 canon?

Definitely NO

16. If all ships participated in a Hunger Game in pairs, who would win?

It would be a very tough competition between all of them.

Now I DEMAND a fanfiction about it. That would be awsome

17. Have they ever tried to sabotage couple number 5?

No need: they sabotage themselves 🙄

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and even afterwards?

Number 1

19. Did you spend hours a day going on tumblr or Ao3 for number 3?

No, never did for 3. In the end, it was the one they gave the end that made the most sense. Let them rest in peace like that.

20. If an evil witch told you to split one of the ten, who would you choose?

Then again considering the fact that they would have to be together to do that and practically none of the 10 are... I'd say I'd sacrifice four.

YOUR TURN!!!

[thejesusofsuburbiabutcringe]

The Idol, Smiling Friends, Fanfiction, and Manipulating Yourself for Your Art: A Text Post Ramble Essay

I love the show The Idol. Very few people do, so I can say that I'm its biggest fan. Before I found Smiling Friends, The Idol was my show (still is, but they share, lol). It's a hugely influential piece of art in my life for many reasons, including being the reason why wrote my first published, lesser know piece of fanfiction, "An Idol Client: A Smiling Friends x The Idol Crackfic". The Idol was why I began writing fanfiction. This show was the reason why I opened AO3 for the first time when I was searching for fanfiction of it (which does exist, btw). So, in a weird way, The Idol is why the fic you have all come to love, "You're the Only One Tethering Me to This Earth", even exists. The question I have come to ask myself was "why do I feel so strongly about this show?" It's not even the obvious answer of it having my beloved Abel Tesfaye involved in it, it was something different, I have come to learn through my recent ponderings.

At its core, the reason why I have attached myself to The Idol so strongly is because of one overarching aspect: the depiction of manipulating yourself for your art. Tedros' cult revolves around him literally torturing his followers to create the best music they can make by means of physical, mental, and emotional abuse, but Jocelyn is the main person of this system. She joins Tedros and eventually falls into his rituals to help her regain inspiration for her music career. What she goes through in the name of improving her art and making it the most genuine version of itself is downright horrific, specifically how Tedros adopts the role of her deceased mother to recreate her physical abuse towards Jocelyn to make her use her trauma to make more genuine songs. The thing is that this actually works because the music she makes from this jumpstarts her career again. It's a horrifying situation, but intensely compelling for an artistic person such as myself. The thing is that I "get it" on a deep level.

For extremely fucking obvious reasons, I don't believe that anyone should have to literally torture or harm themselves to create great art or that such things are aspirational, but boiling it down to a core summary of 'great art is always genuine and pulling from real life things to make it will make it great' is what I hold onto. I have this Tedros quote lamented onto an old writing notebook of mine that basically encapsulates what I personally take away from this:

"All that trauma, you're going to turn into inspiration. You're going to tap into it. You're going to feel it. You're going to face it. You're going to remember it, and you're going to let it wash all over you," (Tedros, Episode 3, "Daybreak").

If you should watch any part of The Idol, watch the dinner table conversation in Episode 3 (where this quote comes from) because it is genuinely an excellent piece of television, as vouched by many non-fans as the best moment in the show. This is the most potent piece of dialogue from the whole show, and I hold it extremely close to me. It speaks to me deeply because I do this. This wasn't something I adopted just because the show influenced me to do it since I did this long before the show existed. When I saw it, it made me feel seen. I don't relate to Tedros' cruel methods of extracting inspiration out of people, but the baseline idea of converting pain into great art is what I hold onto (he had a good idea, but terrifying execution, lol).

To be fully transparent, I do mild forms of emotional and mental manipulation on myself in order to write my fic exactly how I want it to be. Some of my readers have complemented me on the angst and emotional moments I write, and that's probably because of what I do to get those moments as impactful as I can. I do what is called "method writing", which is like method acting in movies except for writers, you embody your character's being and tap into your own emotions and experiences to get the most genuine outcome in your story. I lowkey drive myself crazy doing it, but it's not objectively harmful to my wellbeing, so it's chill. I don't condone anyone else to do it, it's just what I do. To tap in to write specific moments, I purposefully make myself sad to get into the right mindset through listening to appropriate music or putting myself into the character's shoes and internalizing their pain. When I wrote Charlie's monologue in Chapter 10, I fully engrossed myself into my version Charlie in that situation and wrote what poured out of my mind in his voice. It sometimes feels like my characters are speaking to me and I transcribe what they say to me.

When crafting Pim and Charlie's complex emotional responses, mental processes, and situations, I reach within. I also use my own angst to craft plot points and character traits to make them feel more real. Like Tedros said in the quote, taking trauma and turning it into inspiration is actually helpful. It makes it all feel more believable. Besides, I find in personally fulfilling to convert my pain into art that other people enjoy, too. I find that it recontextualizes bad things into positive things, like a story I love deeply. It makes those heavy things a part of something more beautiful and bigger than myself. It's healing. I don't find my practices self harming since the product and the process of making it a healing experience, even if some of it requires angst and sadness. Like all good things in the world, balance between the light and dark is required.

So, yeah, long story long, The Idol speaks to me because I can relate to some its core aspects since it reflects how I create my own art. The Idol to Smiling Friends yaoi angst fanfiction writer pipeline is real.

If you made it to the end, thanks, bud. Here's a cookie 🍪

[lostloveletters]

Bruised Fruit Chapter 4 (Michael Corleone x OC)

Summary: In the Bible, Cain killed Abel, and when confronted by God responded, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” But Michael isn’t Cain, and Gloria isn’t God. She doubts he’d answer her if she were.

Note: Thank you everyone who's read the fic on here and AO3! Your support means a lot to me🖤

Warnings: Angst, canonical major character death, emotional manipulation. Sexually explicit content that involves vaginal fingering.

Do not interact if you are under 18 or post thinspo/ED content. I will block you.

Chapter 3 | AO3 Link | Masterlist

“Were you at Guadalcanal?” she had asked, his eyebrows raising in the slightest display of surprise. “I remember reading that article in Life magazine about you. My brother was there, but he won’t talk about it.”

That was the first conversation she had with Michael after Fredo’s brief introductions between them. A clumsy encounter, awkward, even, as she could tell Michael was politely tolerating her presence for his brother’s sake until she couldn’t help but bring up Guadalcanal. Suddenly, Fredo was dead, and Gloria began to suspect Michael had never truly left that island. 

She could only piece together what had transpired on Michael’s disastrous trip to Cuba. No coincidence that Fredo’s death occurred just after Hyman Roth’s assassination made the front page of The Daily News. The bell had tolled both for he and Rocco Lampone, one of Michael’s caporegimes who was shot by federal agents immediately after taking out the hit, according to the paper. 

At the same time, Gloria struggled to wrap her head around Michael ordering his own brother’s death. Perhaps it was her own attachment to Jackie, but she couldn’t imagine a situation where she’d even consider that an option. She and Jackie didn’t talk often, but they were as close as they could be considering the circumstances.

She wouldn’t have even considered the possibility if Michael hadn’t attributed Fredo’s death to drowning when he broke the news to Gloria. Though she tried not to show it, she’d taken pause at that detail. Even after a few drinks, he was a good swimmer, often hanging out at the hotel’s pool with whichever waitress of the week had caught his attention. 

Michael’s eyes widened when Gloria teared up. She’d been able to keep herself composed throughout his mother’s funeral and wake, but not knowing Carmela much at all helped that. Fredo was a better boss than other people she’d worked for in the past. She supposed she considered him a friend.

“He was always so nice, really, everyone at the hotel liked him,” she managed to mumble. “I’m so sorry, Michael. Losing your brother—I can’t even imagine.”

He reached out and caressed her cheek, her tears rolling down her face and onto his hand. He stared at her, silent for a moment. “You’re here, darling. That’s all I need.”

She took his hand from her face and kissed his palm, giving him a weak smile. His gaze was dark, dense and sprawling like the bare trees that hadn’t yet begun to bloom so early in spring. So easy to lose her way if she weren’t careful in the daytime, helplessly lost at night if she dared attempt to do so. She could see herself, so minuscule reflected in his eyes like an omen. 

Finally, she broke his gaze, wiping her eyes. He gave her a hug and a soft kiss on the cheek that lent her some warmth, allowing herself to wallow in his embrace. She sniffled, rubbing her face in his shoulder without care as to the makeup and snot that she’d surely smeared on his clothes. He shifted one hand from around her back to stroke her hair, his fingers getting caught in the microscopic tangles and stray curls she struggled to keep under control. His comfort was all she’d be offered, and she accepted it as long as he’d provide it.

Minutes passed before Michael put his hands on her shoulders, telling her in a gentle voice to take a hot bath to calm her nerves, and that he’d be just outside if she needed anything. Reluctantly, Gloria nodded, though she didn’t leave her spot, even when he was outside, instead staring at her feet, her arms wrapped around herself. She didn’t know why she suddenly felt so helpless, so morose.

Michael glanced back at the house, his young fiance no longer in view. Gloria, Latin for glory. Reminded him of attending mass as a child. Supposedly echoed by choirs of heavenly hosts in the presence of the Almighty, a being so extraordinarily divine that to gaze upon His visage would cause certain death. Until the end of time and beyond that, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria en excelsis Deo. Forever and ever. He sighed. Gloria.

She’d been so deceptively earnest in asking him about Guadalcanal when they’d first met, clumsily paired by his traitorous brother. He almost couldn’t help but humor her question, and the subsequent ones that followed, betraying her knowledge of what transpired on those nightmarish islands but a desire to understand it all the same. She had thanked him for being so honest, a striking smile on her face that made him feel like it was reserved just for him.

He couldn’t afford to let his guard down, but she had made it so difficult, pretty and wild with a gleam in her eye that made him want to indulge her despite all reason. So he indulged her question about Guadalcanal, and then almost every other request she’d made, doing so while stewing in the fact that she was yet another reminder that he was merely a man, a slave to his base desires.

Coaxing her into calling him by his first name had been a bit of a challenge. In every other circumstance, he’d expect to be addressed as ‘Mr. Corleone’. Instead, he was inexplicably frustrated by her insistence on maintaining the veneer of professionalism despite his being uncharacteristically personal with her. So, he brought those damn service medals with him all the way from New York to Nevada. Hadn’t even looked at them since he returned from his exile in Sicily. 

The banquet hall had been practically empty, save for a handful of other employees setting out utensils ahead of Johnny Fontaine’s dinner show that evening. ‘I’d like to show you these somewhere private, Gloria. They’re very personal to me,’ he’d said, his voice low so only she could hear. 

She gave him that same striking smile when she agreed to go up to his room with him. He wasn’t a man many people said ‘no’ to, and she wasn’t a woman who said ‘no’ to many men. A morbid part of him wanted her to, just to see what would happen, test his already dwindling self-control. He could feel it slipping from between fingers when the door clicked shut, wondering how she could be so calm, alone in a room with a married man. Either she’d done so countless times before or hadn’t been expecting him to fold. Probably both.

Her fingers had brushed his World War II Victory Medal, then his Asiatic-Pacific Campaign Medal, then, while he described how he earned his Navy Cross, she finally uttered his name in a raspy lilt. Michael sounded almost foreign coming from her lips, part of this secret they were sharing—hotel rooms and service medals and first names. As soon as she pinned the Purple Heart to his lapel, her manicured hand lingering on his chest for just a moment, his ego howled for a taste of blood. Tiger, she called him, lurking in the dense jungle, fiery eyes stalking his fox-prey as she chased pleasure without a thought for him until he pounced, and, in turn, consumed her, razor-sharp maw dripping with her passion.

Hearing about her other dalliances, never from her but always in passing, made him silently seethe with a raging possession he knew he had no right to feel, but did nevertheless. She had clearly assumed that he would be a quick and casual fling like every other man she saw. He resented those men not just for their proximity to her, but at the ease with which they seemed to be able to cut things off with her. Every time he told himself a visit would be the last, he’d habitually slink back to her in the still of the night. He supposed giving in to those instincts served some purpose higher than simply giving in to desire. If he hadn’t, he would have been alone, without hope for another son.

Little else good had come from his family’s tenure in Nevada, and upon receiving confirmation from Tom of Frank Pentangeli’s suicide, had quickly come to the conclusion that they could get a chance at yet another fresh start in New York. Besides, with the newly created vacuum of power there in light of Roth’s and Pentangeli’s deaths, he needed to move in quickly to maintain control.

Gloria sat in the bathtub, watching her fingers prune beneath the foggy surface. She had run it scalding, tears streaming down her face as she allowed the hot, perfumed water to engulf her. When it had cooled enough to not be painful to the touch, she splashed some on her face. A knock at the door caught her attention.

“Gloria? It’s me.”

“Come in.”

Michael opened the door as narrowly as he could to slip inside, not wanting to chance anyone catching a glimpse of Gloria in her state of undress despite the bathroom being in the master bedroom, which few people were allowed in, anyway. He watched as she pulled her knees to her chest, looking at him expectantly. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, tie nowhere to be found as the first two buttons of his shirt were undone. He looked almost as disheveled as he did that night he appeared at her apartment.

“I decided it would be good for the family to move back to New York,” he said, sitting on the edge of the tub, his fingers grazing the top of the warm, sudsy water. “I’m going to make an offer on my childhood home tomorrow. It should close by the end of the week.”

“Long Beach, right? That’s pretty close to my parents. They’ll be glad,” she said. “Did the people who lived there say why they were selling?”

“An old associate of my father’s lived there, but he died recently. His widow put it up for sale. Doesn’t need such a big place anymore.”

“Wow, between your friend, Fredo, and your mother…it comes in threes, that’s what my dad always says.”

She knew when his thin-lipped smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, it wasn’t so simple.

“Things will be different in New York. Quieter, not as much trouble,” he said.

“So you’re leaving me here?”

He snickered, his smile more genuine as the corners of his eyes crinkled. “I said not as much.”

“I see,” she said, shifting in the tub, her bare breasts peeking from beneath the water, and she gasped as the cool air brushed her sensitive skin. She noticed his eyes on her chest. “You just here to look, or are you trying to go for a dive, tiger?” she asked, her laugh light and airy until his hand dipped beneath the water to squeeze one of her breasts.

“Something like that,” he muttered, gently tugging her nipple before doing the same to her other breast.

There they were again, those eyes like woods she’d lose herself in. This time, she did so willingly as he drew her in with his touch, his arm submerged in the bath water as he slipped his fingers between her folds, watching as she gripped the edge of the bathtub. She lifted her hips, rolling them slightly as she felt his fingers fill her. 

“Michael—fuck,” she groaned when his thumb brushed her clit. “I need more.”

The sensation was odd, for all they’d done in the past, bathtubs had never been involved. Pools and showers, yes, but perhaps they’d both wordlessly come to the conclusion that something about a bath was far too intimate. She could understand why in that specific situation, something inherently erotic about him being fully clothed while she was quite the opposite, exposed and easily accessible for him.

With a curl of his fingers, a loud moan echoed through the tiled room. No one would hear her anyway. As she flexed her legs, calves burning ever so slightly, she tried digging her nails into the porcelain tub, breaking one with the force she used to grip the sides of it. 

“Don’t tease me,” she growled, voice low and husky in her frustration. 

Her eyes met his again, and she was something wild in that forest, a woman-beast with no regard for civility, instead venturing deeper in search of pleasure. It was how Michael had lured her in, carefully domesticating her before she could realize what he’d done. Her body jerked as she felt her orgasm building up inside her, splashing water onto the floor from her sudden movement.

His shirt sleeve had rolled down, drenched despite his efforts, but he didn’t let up, his eyes fixed on her as he felt her pussy clench around his fingers as he worked them inside her, his thumb unforgiving on her clit. Her legs shook as she came, toes curling as more water splashed out of the tub. 

“Oh my god,” she moaned. “Fucking—keep going.”

Her eyes squeezed shut, and a haze overtook her mind as she rocked back and forth against his hand. So engrossed in her second orgasm wracking through her body like an earthquake, she almost forgot he was even there, instead this disembodied figure that existed only to make her cum. If only. 

She shook as the aftershocks of pleasure rolled through her, eyes wild as they opened again, fixed on the man before her, so composed compared to how she’d come apart. 

He pulled his arm from the water, grabbing her nearby towel and drying his hand off with it. Her knuckles were white when she released her grip on the side of the tub, chest heaving as she ran her fingers through her messy, half-dry hair. 

She attempted to push herself up from the tub, and he quickly wrapped his arms around her torso, supporting her as she climbed out on unsteady legs.

“Your shirt—“

“I don’t care,” he said, wrapping the towel around her. “I’ve got others. How are you feeling?”

“Good, really good.”

He lifted her hand, inspecting her broken red-painted nail. “You sure?”

She snickered. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

As she dried herself off, he leaned against the counter, watching her. For a moment, it felt like they were in the hotel room again, no obligations or strings attached, and something inside her ached for that time. She’d always enjoyed it, but she wouldn’t have taken it for granted if she’d known what four years of it would have led up to. 

She grabbed her brush from the counter, combing the knots out of her damp hair. 

“Where do you want to honeymoon?” he asked suddenly.

“I don’t know,” she said, hissing softly as she painfully snagged a knot. “The Hamptons would be nice.”

“Not very exotic.”

“Well it’s not exactly about sight-seeing, is it?”

She could be a tourist any time she wanted, but when else would she have a week where having sex was not only expected, but encouraged? Even in school, she wasn’t one for museums or monuments, finding books far more engaging than the watered down information presented to them. As the likelihood of a summer wedding was rapidly increasing, the last thing she wanted was to walk around looking at ruins or statues in sweltering heat, hardly having the energy to do much else by the end of the day.

“I wouldn’t know.”

Gloria turned to him, her eyes wide. “What?”

He smiled the slightest bit at her shock. “Kay and I married in a small ceremony in New England, and then we went back to Long Island. We didn’t honeymoon.”

“But that’s the best part.”

“You’ll get your honeymoon, I promise.” He wrapped his arms around her bare torso from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder. “So, the Hamptons? Beachfront, secluded–”

“Very secluded,” she emphasized as he kissed her cheek.

Her dreams that night had troubling vividity in which she couldn’t tell whether she was asleep or awake as realistic scenarios warped outlandishly. People’s faces shifted into others, desperately trying to tell her something but unintelligible nonetheless. She woke up in a cold sweat, Michael sleeping soundly beside her. Damn. It was her turn to be the insomniac. 

As quietly as she could, she got out of bed, sliding her feet into her slippers and padding across the carpeted floor, hoping she wouldn’t wake him up. She slipped out the door and made her way into the living room, turning on a lamp for the slightest bit of light. Shuffling into the kitchen, she made herself a rum and coke, trying to remember something from her dreams, but came up with nothing comprehensible.

She wandered back into the living room, turning on the radio that was almost always set to the local rock n’ roll station since she’d been there. The volume of the music was low, but she could still make out the sounds of the familiar songs as she sipped her drink.

“Glo?” a small voice whispered. “I can’t sleep.”

The kids had taken to calling her that, less formal than Gloria without forcing them to call a woman they hardly knew a derivative of mom. 

Anthony emerged from the dark hallway, a teddy bear tucked beneath his arm.

“Me either, kiddo,” Gloria said. “Are you hungry? I can make you a snack.”

The boy shook his head, instead walking into the living room and sitting next to her on the floor. Despite effectively moving into the house, Gloria had hardly interacted with Anthony, though that was almost exclusively his choice. She couldn’t blame him. She still thought it was too soon for her to be living there, but after Carmela’s death, Michael practically insisted.

“Do you know why everyone’s leaving? Daddy says mommy did something bad, but I think he’s lying,” he said. “He lies a lot.”

Gloria let out a shaky breath as she tried to figure how to answer such a loaded question. “He doesn’t tell me much, but I don’t–your mother isn’t a bad person, Anthony. She was just very sad.”

“Was uncle Fredo sad, too?”

“I think so. When you become an adult, you’re not supposed to talk about things like that, and some people have a harder time with it than others,” she explained. “They feel very alone, and they do things they might not normally do because they don’t know how else to ask for help.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, it isn’t. I don’t think things should be that way.”

Gloria knew what Kay did, and though she wasn’t sure if she herself could go through with having an abortion, she certainly wouldn’t condemn a woman’s desperation. Still, she wondered what Fredo had done to be iced out by Michael. She felt almost guilty for considering Michael had something to do with his brother’s death, fratricide was certainly no weightless accusation. Then again, even if she confronted him with it, would he tell her the truth? 

For four years, she had to face the horrifying reality of nearly losing her own brother. She wondered about the worry Michael’s family felt when he was fighting overseas. From what she understood, they hadn’t been very supportive of him joining the Marines in the first place. He had told her that the only person who congratulated him was Fredo, and the only people who regularly sent him letters were his brother, his mother, and Kay, all no longer in his life in some way.

“I’m going back to sleep now,” Anthony said.

She nodded. “Good night.”

He disappeared back down the hallway.

When she heard a door close, she threw back the rest of her rum and coke before making herself another. Some teeny-bopper’s twangy voice faintly played out over the radio, singing his song about heartbreak. The station always played the moodier songs at night, giving way to the teenagers who sounded like lovesick ghosts that haunted the airwaves. “I’m crying,” they’d wail. “My baby left me.” Few said it better than Elvis, “You’ll feel so lonesome, you could die.”

The song shifted to Ricky Nelson’s ‘Lonesome Town’. Despite his talent, she always found it funny, the California boy putting on an accent to sell records. But people put on acts all the time, different masks depending on the scene. She thought back to earlier in the bathroom, and wondered if Michael’s sudden display of intimacy was calculated on his part. His question about the honeymoon had certainly taken her by surprise, enough so that for a few hours, she didn’t think much about the implications of his brother’s death or try to talk to him about it again.

She squeezed the glass in her hand, enraged at the thought of him playing with her emotions while she was in such a vulnerable state, but more than that, angry at herself for falling for it.

[fandomficsnstuff]

Old Lady - 25

(Warnings: A bit of fluff before a whole lot of angst<3)

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You couldn’t stop smiling as you watched Abel drawing, Thomas on your hip while Bullet slept at Abel’s feet. “What’re you making now?” you asked Abel, a hand on his head as you looked over the drawing “let me guess…” you hummed, narrowing your eyes at the drawing before smirking down at Abel “an elephant?” you asked and he laughed “yes!” he exclaimed and you chuckled, ruffling his hair before looking at Thomas, adjusting his shirt lovingly “I really missed you boys…” you muttered to yourself, kissing the side of his head. “Hey, how about a lollipop, hm?” you asked Abel and he grinned at you “yes!”

“‘Yes’ what?”

“Please” Abel stated quickly and you chuckled, ruffling his hair before moving behind the counter, getting out one of the lollipops, walking back around to the table that Abel sat at. “There you go, monster” you gave it to him and he took it, unwrapping it and putting it in his mouth instantly, going back to drawing and you watched him with a smile. Jax had told you very little, just that Tara was okay and she was going to be okay, that the boys were okay and that you needed to trust him… the last part made you worry endlessly though, it meant he was going to do something risky or stupid or impossible. Or all three together. “Hey, (Y/N/N)” Happy called and you looked at him, watching him as he nodded towards Thomas, offering to take him and you frowned “I can hold him-”

“You’re pregnant” he pointed out and you scoffed but relented, giving him Thomas carefully “I’m three months, not six” you pointed out and he shrugged, making you sigh and smile a little. You looked back at Abel, your smile quickly gone as your eyes widened “Abel!” you snapped, Abel grinning mischievously as he pulled the lollipop away from Bullet before he could lick it, Abel putting it back into his mouth while Bullet looked up at him expectantly and you couldn’t help but smile while trying to remain stern “don’t give your lollipop to the dog, Abel” you tried to scold but all you could do was smile as he looked like a mischievous little devil. An adorable mischievous devil. And he knew it, he knew how cute he was and you sighed “no more lollipops for the dog” you warned, patting your thigh, Bullet getting up and walking over to you, jumping up with his front paws on your thigh and you leaned down, petting him and kissing the top of his head before straightening your leg, leaving him to drop down and walk off to find some other place to rest, somewhere where lollipops wouldn’t be shoved down into his face, probably. “You sure you should be up and about?” Tig asked and you scoffed, straightening your back a little as you narrowed your eyes at him “what’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, a hand on your hip and Tig froze up “I-... just meant-”

“Tell you what; when I can’t see my feet anymore because of the literal watermelon sized person inside of me, then I’ll sit back and allow you boys to dick around without the supervision of an adult” you stated sharply, Tig staring at you with wide eyes and you raised your brows at him “got it?”

“Yes, mommy” he muttered without even realizing it and you scoffed, looking away until you heard Brooke groan “oh, ew! Tig!” she snapped, turning away with a cringe and when you looked back, you realized that Tig had a boner, a small smirk forming on your lips. Somehow it was good to know that even while pregnant you could still get him hard by doing nothing. Which really wasn’t all that hard (heh) when it was Tiggy, but still. “You got a problem there, Tiggy bear” you teased, Tig looked down, adjusting his pants awkwardly before shrugging a little “just… I’ll just go, and…”

“Yeah, good idea” you stated with amusement and he nodded and left, a large grin on your face as you chuckled lightly with the boys. Until Chibs, Bobby and Jax came down. Your smile faded at the look on their faces, one of your hands moving to your stomach as Chibs approached and you looked at him and then at Jax, Tig appearing from the bathroom, adjusting his pants casually until he noticed the change in atmosphere. “At six tonight, Patterson will come to pick me up. She’s going to arrest me for the KG-9’s, just me and not the club…” Jax began and you frowned at him, your heart starting to race as you listened to him, his plan. You felt Chibs wrap his arms around you from behind as Jax told everyone of his plan, your knees felt weak and they almost buckled but Chibs caught you, as though he knew this would happen, your heart racing as you clung to him, trying to stay strong for Abel and Thomas, and for Jax.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

You couldn’t help the tears on your cheeks as you watched him hug the boys, his sons, your heart racing and you took Thomas from him, Abel standing by Chibs’ leg, holding onto it while looking up at his dad. “Tara’ll come pick them up after I go” Jax told Chibs, Chibs nodding, holding his face briefly before letting go. You watched as Jax went around, saying goodbye to everyone and when he came to you and Chibs, you watched with tears streaming down your face as Chibs and Jax hugged as they said their goodbyes. “Take care of my sister” Jax told Chibs and he nodded “aye, I will…”

“And my niece” Jax added with a small smirk and Chibs nodded “Tha mi a’ gealltainn, a bhràthair(I promise, brother)” Chibs said softly and Jax nodded, tears falling down Chibs’ cheeks as he turned to you, gently taking Thomas from you so you could hug Jax, and hug him, you did. “I’ll come visit… every day. Every fucking day, I’ll come visit you” you whispered, Jax hugging you a tad tighter “I know… I’ve spoken with Tara, she’ll give you full access to the boys, no matter where they are or when, anytime you want, you can see your nephews” he whispered and you parted from him with a frown, confusion written all over your face “h-how’d you get her to do that?”

“She suggested it” Jax revealed and your lower lip trembled, more tears forming in your eyes and Jax smiled softly at you “hey, it’s okay” he whispered and you felt as though your world was on fire, burning brightly and destroying everything. “Like fuck it is, my brother is going to jail” you muttered and Jax smirked with amusement “won’t be anything new, darlin’... it’s okay” he promised and you nodded weakly, looking back up at him, Jax cupping your face in his hands “take care of yourself, and my niece…”

“Niece?”

“I got a hunch” he stated with a smirk and you let out a brief laugh that bled into a quiet sob. “Hey,” he made sure you looked at him, an accepting smile on his face, calm and collected and accepting of his fate “cheer up, sis, you’re gonna be a mom” he stated and you couldn’t help but smile “you’ll always be my brother, Jax” you whispered and he nodded with a smile “and you’ll always be my sister” he stated and you nodded, Jax pulling you into a tight hug, holding you close. “Take care of Chibs for me, alright?” he asked and you nodded, kissing his cheek as you stepped back, looking up at Chibs, carefully taking Thomas from him, kissing the side of Thomas’ head, Jax smiling at you, tears in his eyes “you’re going to be the most wonderful mom ever” Jax stated, voice breaking slightly and you nodded “and you’re the best father they could ever hope for” you assured him and he nodded, wiping away a few of his tears before stepping closer, kissing your forehead. Jax stepped back, giving you a forced smile but you could see how hard he tried, how hard it was for him to stay strong like this, to not break down in tears.

You were one of the first ones to walk back inside, Thomas still in your arms as you held him, walking over to one of the stools, sitting down on it and leaning back against the counter, your arms wrapped around Thomas as you tried not to cry, Chibs following after you, sitting down next to you and wrapping an arm around you, kissing the top of your head as he held you close, Thomas asleep in your arms as the others went back inside as well, Bullet playing quietly with Zora while Abel played with Chucky and one of his prosthetic hands.

-------------------------------------------------

You gave him a small smile as you walked towards him, sitting down in front of him, putting your bag on the floor before looking back up at him. “Hey…” you started, studying his vacant stare as he looked off to the side and you frowned after a while of silence. “Jax?” you asked softly, trying to catch his gaze but it didn’t work, he only looked further away from you and you nodded, sighing softly. “Jax?... Please, don’t shut me out” you asked softly, seeing tears form in his eyes and as wrong as it may have been, it made you happy. He was still in there, somewhere. You leaned down and dug through your bag, taking out a black and white picture, showing it to him, sliding it over to his side of the table in front of you. You waited patiently as Jax’s eyes moved to the picture, his brows furrowing a little and finally he moved, reaching for the picture, lifting it and looking at it, his brows easing up when he realized what it was. It was a sonogram picture.

“We’re not sure if it’s a boy or a girl yet but we’ve started on names” you admitted quietly, tears forming in your eyes as you watched his eyes water as he kept looking at the picture. “I-I kind of like ‘Jennifer’ or maybe ‘Oscar’” you admitted hesitantly, smiling ever so slightly as you kept your eyes on him “Chibs like ‘Ross’ or ‘Hannah’” you added, watching as a single tear ran down Jax’s cheek. You reached over and held his hand in yours, making him look up at you and you gave him a faint smile “there you are” you muttered quietly, Jax’s lower lip trembling as he smiled briefly, so briefly that you almost didn’t notice it, but you caught it, you saw it. As you held his hand, he looked back down at the sonogram, nodding ever so slightly, sniffling quietly as he gave you back the picture and you took it with a fond smile, letting go of his hand to pack the picture away in your bag.

“I love you, Jax… you know that, right?” you asked with a small frown and he nodded “I love you too, sis” he murmured and you nodded with a smile “I know… I’ve been working a lot at Scoop’s, made a small area in the back for when Tig brings Zora or I bring Bullet, it’s fenced, has toys, food, water, everything. Scoops is starting to look pretty good, actually, almost like a real ice cream shop” you half-joked and he scoffed with a smirk, looking down “almost” he repeated and you nodded “yeah, almost… I like working there, honestly… I like cleaning up the place with Chucky and Brooke, though Brooke has mostly been at Gemma’s recently. I think there’s something between her and Rat.”

“What?” Jax looked up at you and you shrugged with a smirk, leaning a little closer “I think the Rat is getting a bit of secret cheese” you whispered and Jax scoffed with slight amusement as you leaned back in your chair again. “We’ve even begun to have a few customers. They’re rare and few, but they’re there, it’s mostly kids. A couple tried to steal a few things but the boys caught them” you admitted with amusement, a scoff leaving you “they ended up paying half for what they took and worked the other half off, just a day of cleaning up the place, since none of them took a pipe wrench to the window” you joked lightly and Jax nodded with a small smile as he looked down “it’s good you’re looking after the place, and the others…” he stated and you nodded “it’s what family is for. By the way, I demand free ice cream for the rest of my life, it’s simply my price for working there, Chucky agrees” you stated casually and he nodded “deal” he murmured and you smiled at him. A small silence fell over the two of you and you enjoyed it before breaking it, knowing it had to be done at one point or another. “You’re alive, Jax” you said and he looked up at you with slight confusion, making you smile a little more “you’re breathing, your heart is beating in your chest, your lungs breathe air and your blood is rushing through your veins,” you reminded him, leaning a little closer to him “you’re alive, Jackson Teller… so are all of us. Your mother, me, Chibs, Tig, Happy, Bobby… your boys” you said the last ones carefully, watching him tense and you gave him a soft smile, an attempt at comforting him “life is shit, Jax, now more than ever, but those who love you are alive. We matter to you, and you matter to us” you reminded him “plus, Abel’s got some serious skills with a crayon” you added half-jokingly and Jax gave you a half-genuine smile “you can see it when you come out… I’ll come back when I can, okay?” you asked as you heard the buzzer go off, leading you to get up and pick up your bag. “You don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do” you interrupted with a soft smile. “Stay strong, Jackson…” you asked softly, only leaving when he gave a faint nod and you nodded in return, leaving, casting a final glance over your shoulder at him before you were forced out now that your time was up with him.

[ask-harry-fitzgerald]

Harry angst and hurt/comfort with moon <3

this is sorta an alternate version of a scene where I rewrote it to flow more as a narrative rather than a dialogue

also you guys get to see Harry having a mental breakdown in detail!!

Harry couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t see. Too much was happening, today had been a nightmare.

That… strange model (was it a bootleg? Some kind of knock off? Homemade? Just some unused prototype? He wasn’t sure.) had asked him for a reset, which he had willingly provided but-

But something went wrong. Not in the reset, chip was fine. Rather, something had gone wrong in him.

It had started with an off-hand comment, “attachments can ruin a business!” Sound advice, but not one he had wanted his partner hearing. Joe had gotten upset, and to be honest, Harry had done a pretty shoddy job at defending himself, “it’s unprofessional”? What was he thinking saying that? But whats done was done. Joe had stormed off, and Harry had done his best to pretend he didn’t care.

Next was Steven, Harry’s son, one of the people he cared about the most, had come in, more distant than usual, asking after “Chip”

Harry had told him what had happened and Steven had seemed unhappy with him. And then Harry had really fucked up. He had called Steven by his model number, 14-02, instead of his name.

He had recognized the mistake immediately, of course, and corrected himself, but the damage had been done. He had pushed the people he cared about away, again. 

Maybe he deserved that. After everything, after what he had done to Steven.

Maybe Abel would finally be proud of him. He had never liked Harry getting attached to anyone but himself.

He never liked Harry in general, just Scott. There was  a reason he had wiped Harry’s memory, replaced it with thoughts that weren’t his own.

God, maybe that chip kid had the right idea, maybe he should get himself reset

Or better yet, scrapped, let some newer phone take charge of his role in the company, like Steven.

Steven was so much better than him. Harry was the just prototype, Steven was the 02 model, the perfected ai

The perfected manager

But it wasn’t like it was that hard when you had Harry as competition. Joe was a good manager in his own right, but compared to Harry? He was great, hell, Abel looked good when compared to Harry, even that stupid green model Jack had brought in, the one with the faulty voice box and unreliable memory, even he would be better suited compared to harry. 

His breathing hitched, and he felt something on his face. He brought his hand up, and when he pulled it away, it was warm and wet.

Was he crying? God, how unprofessional of him, he hadn’t cried since Joe’s funeral.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he jumped, whirling around to see… someone?

Joe told him he had shoddy vision as a human, and he supposed that carried over to a phone, but he could make out a pale blue color, someone shorter than him and-

“Moon?”

He hated how hoarse and shaky his voice came out, he sounded like he had been crying.

He had been crying, right.

Moon put xis hand up to Harry’s face, cradling the side of his phone softy.

“Hey, Harry, what happened? Are you ok?”

He began to speak, to reassure his loved one, the only one who hadn’t left him yet, to deny anything xe might’ve heard, but all that came out was a strangled sob

“Oh.. would you like a hug at least, sweetheart? i may not know whats happening, but id still like to be here for you.”

Harry move forward, his movements jerky and unsteady as he wrapped his arms around his partner’s shoulders, holding xem close to himself 

“I’ve messed everything up, I’m so, so sorry”

Moon wrapped xis arms around Harry’s waist as he cried into moon’s shoulder, sobs wracking his body.

“something is wrong with me-

I’m bad at being a manager, I’m bad at being a father, I’m bad at being a partner-

Joe thinks I’m shitty, Steven hates me- I’m sure Jack would be disappointed, a-and I don’t even KNOW that chip kid, and I’ve ruined his life too!”

Moon inhaled softly, holding Harry against xem as Harry cried

“Oh no, my dear, you were kind as a manager, sweet as a partner, and steven caring enough to want you to be better is proof you were good as a father too. you just spiraled. which im familiar with myself. its difficult. i know. but you can balance work and relationships. i promise you getting attached doesnt make you weak. having relationships isnt bad for business. you just need to find out how to balance the two.”

Harry took a shaky gasping breath against moon, still speaking against xis shoulder 

“I’m so sorry… please don’t leave me.”

Xe tightened xis grip on Harry, xis tail winding around Harrys leg

“I won’t ever leave you, unless you want me to.”

With that, Harry began to cry in earnest again, holding xem like he was afraid xe would disappear if he let go.

Moon gently soothed him, petting the phones back gently as his sobs turned to shakes, and his shakes turned to holding moon like a lifeline and trembling 

Harry lifted his head, his dial meeting where xis eyes would be.

“I’m really not supposed to get attached but-“

He took a shaky breath, letting to words pour out of him

“-I love you moon.”

@beingofthestars hiiii