#aaron hotchner x emily prentiss x jennifer jareau fanfiction
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cloudlessly-light · 1 year ago
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heyy could i request something jotchniss
sub jj , sub emily and dom hotch ?? thank you love ur writing :))
A/N: Hey Anon! I know you asked for sub JJ, but I can’t for the life of me picture JJ as a sub, so I hope switch/sub JJ is okay! This one also is a little more Jemily than I usually write, but I wanted to switch things up.
Title: Don’t lose your focus  Summary: After JJ and Will split up, JJ feels lost for a long time, luckily for her, she finds exactly what she needs with Aaron and Emily. Word Count: 4,4k Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smut, oral, threesome, restraints, sex toys, anal, double penetration, Dom Aaron, Switch JJ, sub JJ, sub Emily   
When Will and JJ decided to split up, she was lost for a long time. Her life became Henry and the BAU, splitting time between trying to be the best mother she could be while also balancing her work that she had no intention of leaving. They decided to split their time with Henry, shifting days and weeks to make it work for both Will and JJ but it was hard, it was harder than she’d wanted to admit.   
For a long time after, JJ felt like half a person, like something was missing. She felt guilty because she wasn’t spending enough time with her son, felt a longing for something besides being a single mother. She loved Henry with everything she had, and the guilt for feeling like it wasn’t enough was an everlasting presence.    
But JJ and Will make it work. A year passes, then another one and Henry is turning 4 and JJ has almost been able to ignore the itch that something was missing.    
And then that night happens.    
She’s spending an evening at Aaron and Emily’s house. They had been together for almost two years now, happy in a way that makes something ache in JJ’s chest. The jealousy was bitter on her tongue, the feeling of possibly never having the kind of happiness that her friends had a realization she’d rather not have. She pretends that she doesn’t feel something warm in her belly when Emily looks at her a certain way, or that Aaron’s heavy, warm hand on her shoulder doesn’t give her goosebumps. She didn’t want to admit that she felt something more than friendship towards them, she had ignored those feelings for so long that it felt like second nature by now.   
But then Emily kisses her. It’s soft and so sudden that JJ steps back with wide eyes searching brown ones.   
“What are you doing?” She asked just as Aaron came to wrap an arm around Emily’s waist.   
“I think she kissed you.” He answers before Emily has the chance to, an unfamiliar look in his eye that made her gulp. “Did you like it?”    
She looked between them, from the amused smirk on Aaron’s face to Emily’s dark stare, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth and JJ couldn’t lie to them.   
“Yes.” She breathed and she swore she saw them both relax slightly. Aaron took her hand, tugged her closer and Emily’s soft hands landed on her hips. For a moment she was lost in them, confused and excited as Aaron leaned a little closer to her.   
“Should she do it again?” He asked and JJ is nodding before she can think about it. Emily’s lips are more insistent that time, soft and careful but an urgency behind her kiss. When they break apart and JJ looks between the pair she feels like the part of her that she’s been missing, finally fell into place.     
*   
That night she ends up spending hours in their bed, watches the way Emily submits to Aaron, how Aaron worships her, studies the different ways they bring pleasure to each other. And to her. It’s a new world, until them she had never been one to explore. But they come along and it’s like a buffet of pleasure that they lay at her feet.   
In hindsight it shouldn’t have surprised her that Aaron had a thing about control even in bed, it shouldn’t have made her pause that Emily gave herself utterly and completely to him. That their trust led to exploration of pain and pleasure.    
Aaron teaches her how and where to hit the whip across pale skin, Emily watches with hazy eyes as JJ gives herself to Aaron. She never knew she had a thing about control as well, not until she got to experience it herself.    
With Aaron, she was never in control. With Emily, she always was.   
“I’m giving you my permission to use her.” Aaron had whispered against the shell of her ear. “Poor thing needs two people to tell her what to do.” His hand wraps in her blonde hair and pulls harshly, causing a breathy moan to fall from her lips. “But at the end of the day you know who owns you, don’t you?”   
“You do.” She gasped and she felt his grin, feral and dark against her neck.    
It’s new, it’s exciting, it’s exactly what she needs.   
She lets herself fall in love with them, explores what it means to be in a relationship with not one person, but two. And she’s never been happier.    
*   
It’s another year and they all live together, not caring what people might think because they were happy, they were working.   
JJ is sifting through files in her office when the door closes and she looks up to find her girlfriend leaning against the dark wood, a familiar look on her face.   
“Do you need something?” She arches an amused eyebrow when Emily shakes her head and pushes off from the door.   
“I’m bored.” She says as she sits on the edge of JJ’s desk.    
“We’re at work. Why can’t you enjoy a slow day?” JJ muses as she stands from her chair and fits herself between her spread legs. “Does Aaron know you’re in here?”    
“Nope.” Emily grins as JJ grabs her hips and squeezed. She pulled her closer by wrapping her legs around her slim waist. “He’s in a mood.”   
“Is he now?” JJ smirked when Emily nodded, her dark eyes already focused on her lips. “And it has nothing to do with the fact that you’ve been acting like a brat since this morning?” One hand moves from her hip to tangle in dark hair and she tugs hard enough for Emily to hiss. JJ places soft kisses up the column of her throat. “He’s already texted me everything you’ve been doing, and what we’re going to do with you when we get home.”    
Emily whimpers at her words, fear and excitement in equal measure spreading through her.    
“And he also told me that if you came in here trying to distract me, to tell him.” JJ keeps one hand tangled in her hair while picking up her phone with the other, quickly sending a message to Aaron. “And we both know that I’m his good girl.” JJ nips at her throat before stepping away from the brunette, leaving her dazed and aroused.   
“JJ-” Emily tries reaching for her but she barely has time to stand from the desk before Aaron is walking through the door with an angered expression on his face.     
“What did I tell you about leaving your desk?” He walks towards Emily and easily pushes her to her knees on the floor. Then he reaches for JJ and kisses her. “I knew I could count on you, sweet girl.” He whispers against her lips and she feels her cheeks heating and lips tug upwards at the praise. When Aaron looks down at Emily any trace of softness is gone and he scowls. “Pathetic, aren’t you?”    
Emily looks up at them with wide eyes, a flush creeping from her cheeks and down her chest. She licked over her bottom lip as she nodded, wordlessly agreeing to his harsh words. But JJ knew how much she loved it, how much she craved it.    
“Please Aaron-”   
“Quiet.” He ordered and stepped back from her, urging JJ to follow him. He looked at Emily kneeling on the dirty floor of JJ’s office, still sometimes not believing his luck, that both Emily and JJ both gave him this, that they trusted him enough to do so. “JJ will think of a suitable punishment once we get home.”    
She can’t ignore the tingle down her spine when she hears the way Emily tries to muffle a moan.    
*   
JJ and Emily get home earlier than Aaron that day and JJ plans to take full advantage of that fact. She hasn’t stopped touching Emily since they got in the car, let her hand linger on her thigh or tangled in her hair, drew her nails up and down her arm. Emily was always so receptive, breathy sighs and low moans, pale skin flushed as her eyes pleaded for more. 
“Get the strap.” JJ orders and she sees the way Emily tries to hide her excitement and she smirks. She gets undressed while waiting for her girlfriend to find the harness and dildo and watches in amusement as Emily tries handing them to her. 
“Get naked and put it on.” She almost chuckles at the way Emily’s eyebrows rise high on her forehead. Emily almost never wore the strap, but JJ had plans.  
“Why?” She asked and JJ grabbed her jaw with just enough pressure for it to hurt. 
“Because I’m telling you to. Because you clearly think that misbehaving is the way to get you what you want.” She tightens her grip and Emily hisses at the pain. “And because I fucking said so.” She all but spat the words in her girlfriends’ face, she didn’t let go until she was nodding in her hold and JJ pressed a kiss to her lips. When they broke apart Emily’s eyes were hooded, her tongue sneaking out to lick her bottom lip and taste JJ.
She watched as Emily undressed, a look of uncertainness on her face and JJ couldn’t help the low hum of amusement. She let her gaze follow the harness up smooth thighs, lingered on the fake cock bouncing between Emily’s legs as she walked slowly towards the bed.
“Lay down.” JJ instructed while pulling out the leather cuffs and then straddled her girlfriend’s waist. She smiled when her center pressed against Emily’s stomach, the brunette clearly feeling the wetness on her skin and she whimpered. She fastened her wrists in each cuff, spreading them wide apart before moving off the bed again to take in the vision of Emily tied down with a look close to desperate on her face.
“Baby-” She started as she watched the blonde at the end of the bed. “I need you.”
JJ scoffed, the sound sarcastic as it fell from her lips.
“This isn’t about you.” She said and Emily slumped slightly. “You’ve been greedy, we have treated you too good.” She moved around the room, grabbed lube and then climbed back on the bed. “So until Aaron comes home, you will lie here and you will let me use that gorgeous body of yours until I’ve had my fill. You will be quiet, you won’t touch, you’ll be good, for once in your life.” JJ gently caressed a flushed cheek, then leaned down to let her lips graze Emily’s. “Is that clear?”
“Yes.” She breathed, her entire body already hot, arousal pulsing between her legs but she resisted pushing her legs together to relieve some of the ache. She moaned quietly when JJ kissed her, opened her lips to an insistent tongue and when she pulled away, Emily almost whimpered at the loss. She watched as JJ smeared the lube on the fake cock, her eyes zeroed in on the way it looked huge as the blonde straddled it.
JJ slowly sunk down on the toy, let her body get used to the delicious stretch. She moaned, her eyes closing as she settled over her girlfriend, a lazy smile on her face as she did.
“Fuck, that feels good.” She whispered and Emily bit her bottom lip in response. She started to roll her hips, then lifted herself up and down and when she moaned louder Emily’s hands balled into fists. JJ knew that this was torture for her, that Emily loved to touch, loved to bring her pleasure. She was watching JJ with pleading eyes, the brown orbs so dark, pupils blown wide and it only made her move her hips faster.
Emily couldn’t keep her eyes off JJ, from the way blue eyes rolled back, to the parted lips, watched how her thighs tensed with each movement, how her abs clenched as she rode her faster. She could feel the need to touch only grow, wanted to wrap her lips around pink nipples and grab onto blonde hair and feel the way she would clench around her fingers.
She was moving faster, hips twitching as the pleasure built inside of her. She rubbed her clit and shuddered as her head fell back.
“You’re such a good toy for me to use.” She panted and Emily buckled up in return, clearly trying to get some relief on her clit. “So good for me.” She rubbed her clit faster as her hips grinded onto the toy.
“Fuck!” Emily moaned before she could stop, the base of the dildo pressed right against her clit with each movement of JJ’s hips.
If she hadn’t been so close she would have stopped, would have stuffed something in Emily’s mouth as a reminder to keep quiet, but she could feel her orgasm building and her need for release was bigger than her need to punish. She leaned over her girlfriend, steadying herself with one hand next to Emily’s head as she continued to ride the dildo, blue eyes locked on brown.
“Fuck you’re so pretty.” She gasped as Emily whimpered. “You look so pretty when you’re this desperate.” The cuffs rattled against the headboard and JJ felt Emily push up against her again and it was the last push she needed to crash into an intense blur of pleasure. Her body trembled as her hips jerked desperately against Emily. She gasped, her forehead landing on Emily’s shoulder as she let her orgasm wash through her until all that was left was the subtle quivers. She let herself relax for a little bit and only sat up when Emily squirmed slightly.
“JJ, please.” Her voice was thick with want and JJ lifted her head with a grin on her face.
“I’m going to sit on your face and you’re going to make me come again.” She chuckled when Emily nodded quickly and then carefully sat up again, then moved off the toy. The silicone was covered in her slick and Emily’s eyes widened at the sight. JJ unclasped the cuffs, a small reward for her and then removed the harness before settling above Emily’s face.
She was quick to wrap her arms around JJ’s strong thighs, let her hands trail up and down smooth skin and sighed happily at finally getting to touch her. When she tasted JJ’s arousal she moaned, the sound muffled as she settled above her. Her tongue moved through slick folds, dipped inside of her and JJ gasped, her hips slowly rocking against her tongue.
She sucked her clit, kept JJ against her with a firm hold around her thighs. She wanted her to come on her tongue and she didn’t let up until JJ was grinding onto her face.
Sometimes it amazed JJ how quickly Emily could make her come, but only a few minutes later she was moaning and gasping. She fell forward as she came, Emily’s tongue insistent on her clit, drawing out the pleasure for as long as possible.
Emily didn’t stop licking and sucking on her clit until JJ had relaxed, only then she dipped her tongue inside of her, still feeling the way her pussy was clenching.
“Good girl.” JJ moaned and sat up again. She could see Emily slick on her thighs and she smirked to herself. “Again.”
Emily whimpered, her brain hazy from arousal, her clit aching and pulsing. JJ still hadn’t touched her and she was going insane. But she loved bringing both her lovers pleasure, so she happily pushed her tongue deeper inside of JJ, a low whimper escaping at the heat of her. She alternated licking over her clit and dipping her tongue inside of her and JJ’s moans slowly got breather and louder.
“Just like that.” JJ whispered, her eyes closing at the pleasure her girlfriend was causing as she built her up again. When she opened them only a few moments later, Aaron was standing in the doorway, watching them with a smirk.
“Somone’s been having fun I see.” He said, eyes moving from the harness on the floor to JJ’s flushed face. He walked across the room and JJ leaned forward, supporting herself on Emily’s hips as Aaron leaned down to kiss her. His hands were warm as he trailed them down her body, fingers rough when he tweaked her nipples, earning a gasp from her.
“Is she making you feel good?” Aaron could see the pleasure on her body, could tell that she was close to coming and JJ nodded.
“She’s so good with her mouth.” JJ’s eyes rolled back when Emily sucked her clit hard.
“I know she is.” Aaron cooed as he started to undress. “How many times has she made you come?”
“Twice.”
“But almost three times now.” He smirked as JJ’s body started to tense. “How many times has Emily come?”
“None.” JJ forced out, barely able to listen to his dark voice as she got closer. “She hasn’t earned it.”
Aaron chuckled as he pulled off his boxers. He was already hard just from watching them, his hand fisting his cock and slowly rubbing it.
“She must be desperate by now.” He kneeled on the bed and JJ forced herself not to come just at the sight of him in front of her. “Show me how we she is.”
She pulled Emily’s thighs wide apart and she felt the moan vibrate against her clit. Emily hated when they talked about her like she wasn’t there and they knew it, they also knew that it only made her wetter.
“My my…” Aaron’s smirk was dark when he saw just how wet she was. He climbed closer to them, settled between Emily’s thighs and let his cock fall onto her clit. “What are we going to do to you?”
“Fuck, fuck-” JJ’s desperate moans caused him to look up and he grabbed her blonde hair in a tight fist.
“Come on, let go and come on her tongue.” He kept his hold on her hair as JJ came with a strangled groan. Her eyes closed tight as her hips buckled and then Aaron kissed her, swallowing up her moan.
“That’s my girl.” He mumbled against her lips, only letting her fall to the side of Emily’s body after she had stopped trembling. He watched fondly as JJ laid down beside Emily, her breathing still heavy and eyes glazed over. Then he looked at Emily, who was licking her lips, obviously still tasting JJ on them. She was panting too, her body covered in sweat.
“Gorgeous, both of you.” He mumbled and grabbed the base of his cock. He slapped the tip of it against Emily clit and she jerked with a breathy whine.
“Please, please touch me.” She pleaded and he chuckled.
“Look at you, even begging for it. Looks like JJ has done a good job putting you in your place.” He slapped his cock against her swollen clit again, the sound obscene. “Put on the harness, baby.”
JJ smiled widened and she moved from the bed, quickly adjusting the harness and getting back on the bed. She was tired, her body sated from the orgasms she’d already had, she knew that Aaron could tell as he kept slapping his cock against Emily who’s whimpers only got louder and breathier.
“Lay back, you deserve the rest.” He winked at her and bit back a smile as she laid back beside Emily who was fisting the bedding to keep from reaching out or taking matters into her own hands.
“Aaron, ah-” Whatever Emily was going to say died on her lips when Aaron suddenly slapped his hand on her clit and her thighs closed automatically.
“While I do think it would be fun watching you come just like this, I want your ass tonight.” Aaron mused casually, ignoring that Emily was grinding into his hand until he slapped it again, the sound loud as Emily let out a sound somewhere stuck between pain and pleasure. “Ride her, show us how much you need it.” With those words, he moved back enough for Emily to scramble to her hands and knees, and easily straddled JJ’s slim hips.
JJ’s hand rested on Emily’s thighs as she sat down fully, taking the entire dildo in one smooth thrust.
“You didn’t even need lube.” She smirked at the gasp that fell from Emily’s lips as she started to move. She pushed her hips up, earning a loud moan from her girlfriend as she found a pace. But she didn’t get to enjoy the sight for long, soon enough Aaron was behind them, pushing Emily down until she was laying down flat against JJ.
JJ kept her eyes on Emily’s face as Aaron slowly pushed inside her ass, she loved the look of somewhat pained pleasure on her face, loved when Emily took both of them and she knew that they did too.
“Oh my God…” Emily sucked in a breath and burrowed her face in JJ’s neck as she adjusted. Aaron was stroking calming hands over her ribs and back, JJ was holding her thighs as they gave her a few moments. “Move, please move.” She panted and Aaron was the first to pull out, setting the pace as he fucked into her with a growl.
“Perfect, my perfect girls.” He caught JJ’s eye over Emily’s shoulder and smirked at the way her mouth had fallen open. He thrusted harder and both women moaned as Emily was pushed down on the dildo that pressed against JJ’s clit.
They found a rhythm, Aaron fucking into Emily and JJ weakly pushing up against her, too tired to do much else, but it was more than enough. Emily was moaning and groaning, her senses overwhelmed from being denied for so long to feeling everything. She bit down on JJ’s shoulder, knew that she was bruising her skin but didn’t care. She was already close to the edge, getting there quickly to no one’s surprise.
“You can come.” Aaron grunted behind her before she even had the chance to ask. His lips were hot against her ear, his stubble rough against her and it was perfect. She tried moving between them, her hips jerking as she got closer and closer, until finally she came with a scream.
JJ gasped when Emily tensed above her, felt her body tremble as she came with her and Aaron’s name on her tongue. She caught Aaron’s satisfied grin as he peppered kisses along Emily’s shoulder and neck, not stopping his heavy thrusting until Emily was coming down with heavy breaths.
“JJ,” He said as he moved higher on his knees and she looked up at him with wide eyes. “Do you want to watch for a bit, rest?”
“Yes, please.” She loved watching her lovers together, loved that Aaron knew that.
Emily whined when Aaron slipped out of her, his hands warm as he helped her off JJ’s lap and onto her back again. She reached out to hold JJ’s hand just as Aaron pushed back inside her ass and her eyes closed in pleasure.
“Look at me.” Aaron mumbled and two sets of eyes looked up at him. “You can touch her freely.” He said to JJ who rolled onto her side, pressing against Emily’s body and letting go of her hand. “And you can come as much as you want to.” He looked to Emily who smiled gratefully at him. He loved to bring them both over the edge as many times as possible, but giving either of them free range like this was unusual.
Emily’s train of thought came to and end when JJ’s fingers pressed inside of her, the palm of her hand grinding against her clit just as Aaron started to thrust harder inside of her, making her bite her lip to keep from screaming out too loudly.
“She’s already clenching.” JJ said in awe, she loved that Emily always came so easily for them.
“You wound her up good, baby.” Aaron told her through slightly labored breathing. He moved to grab Emily’s hips in a tight grip, leaving new bruises over old ones as he thrust as hard as he could. He had been longing for them for hours so he knew he wouldn’t last long.
“Fuck I love watching you.” JJ whimpered as she looked between Aaron’s strong body and Emily’s trembling one. “You’re so close, again.”
“Yes, yes fuck yes.” Emily pulled JJ down for a rough kiss, her soft lips muffling the needy moans. When they broke apart she looked up at Aaron. “Kiss me?”
Aaron smiled at the simple request, that in a moment that was anything but tender, Emily would crave something so simple as a kiss. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, a low groan rumbling in his chest when JJ’s nails scratched through his hair and keeping him against Emily.
“Come again, sweetheart.” He mumbled when they broke apart and he was back to kneeling between her legs. Her ass clenched around him hard and JJ’s hand moved faster and Emily wouldn’t have been able to hold back even if she tried to. She came again with a cry of pleasure, her back arching and eyes closed tight as she gave in to the pleasure.
“That’s it, that’s it honey.” JJ mumbled against her ear, her hand slowing but not stopping as Aaron continued to fuck into her. She could feel his cock, could feel Emily’s clamping walls and she felt a rush of arousal settle between her legs.
They didn’t stop, Emily coming two more times until Aaron was grunting his pleasure against JJ’s lips as he spurted inside Emily. They were a mess of sweaty limbs and harsh breaths and pleasured daze as they laid tangled on the bed after.
“How about we shower, and then we’re doing that again?” Aaron smiled as JJ nodded on his left and Emily hummed happily on his right.
It was strange, how time could change everything but JJ had never been happier that it had.
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sweatervest-obsessed · 3 months ago
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Y/n: see how Garcia brought the shots back to the table?
Prentiss: very thoughtful.
JJ: very demure.
Morgan: what the fuck—
*hotch arrives*
Garcia: see how Hotch was late?
Prentiss: not very mindful.
Reid: not demure.
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pathologicalreid · 1 year ago
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nicknames | S.R.
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in which you meet the team for the first time, and receive your first nickname
who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader
category: fluff
content warnings: reader is referred to as a girl. i have this headcanon where when reid's IQ gets slashed to 60, he'd get so distracted that he'd run on autopilot, hence the willingness to handshake.
word count: 591
a/n: happy finals szn! this fic has been rotting in my brain for weeks and i finally decided to flesh it out. and maybe you should like and reblog this if you enjoy it (no pressure tho)
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You were still filtering through your entry paperwork when the rest of the team filtered into the bullpen. David Rossi, who had helped you land this job in the first place, nodded in your direction before disappearing into his office. “Hey!” Someone called from across the bullpen, “Y/N, right?” Emily asked, setting her go bag in the chair at her desk before making her way over to your desk.
Smiling in response, “It’s nice to finally meet you,” you responded, reaching your hand out for her to shake. It was nice to be in the BAU, complete with a promotion from Special Agent to Supervisory Special Agent.
JJ walked over next, waving, and introducing herself as the communications liaison. “I’ve heard a lot of great things from your old CARD team,” she said, “I’m sure your skillset will come in handy here.”
You nodded in affirmation, “That’s the hope!” You answered, smiling at the prospect of your old team singing your praises.
Next, Derek approached, reaching out his hand for you to shake. Of course, you obliged and grinned at him. Part of you felt like you were meeting celebrities, the BAU was a big deal in the bureau. “Derek Morgan,” he introduced himself, “How long were you with CARD?”
“Five years,” you responded, it was a long time for anyone to deal solely with child abduction, but your team had the best rate in the bureau. Besides, you found the work rewarding.
Morgan’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “that’s impressive.”
You nodded, “Thank you. I’m really looking forward to working with you all.”
JJ looked behind her, “Oh, have you met Garcia?” She asked, peeking around the corner to where the technical analyst's office was.
Glancing down at the cat-shaped stress toy that she had given you when you arrived this morning, you smiled, “Yes, she was the first to greet me this morning. I think I’m just missing Dr. Reid.”
As if on cue, the young doctor walked into the bullpen, he had a worn leather satchel over his shoulder and looked like he might be talking to himself, “Reid!” Emily called over, getting his attention, and causing him to change course, approaching your desk. “Come meet, Y/N.”
He adjusted the strap of his satchel over his sweater before you reached out your hand for him to shake. “Oh, he doesn’t…” JJ began, but her voice trailed off when Dr. Reid shook your hand.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Dr. Reid,” you said, smiling at him. It felt good to know you had finally met the entire team.
He gave a close-lipped smile in return, “Reid is fine, or Spencer.” He said as you each dropped your hands to your sides.
Noticing everyone looking back and forth between the two of you as if you had already managed to do something wrong, you gathered all of your paperwork in your hands, “I should get this to Hotch.”
The rest of the team got the message and started to disperse to their respective desks, Reid’s being adjacent to yours. “Welcome to the team, pretty girl,” Morgan said to you before turning to his own paperwork.
You hugged your paperwork to your chest as if you were protecting it. Quietly, you muttered, “I really hope that nickname doesn’t stick.”
Across from you, there was a short laugh, almost a scoff. “It will,” Spencer responded in the same reverent tone. For a second, you thought it might be a joke, but you could tell by his facial expression that he was serious.
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lillaberry · 16 days ago
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Tell me im not the only one who thought of dr spencer reid
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reidmarieprentiss · 4 months ago
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masterlist ♡
my requests are open! i'm comfortable writing for any sexuality, gender, and/or specified reader preference! my basic model is a fem!reader x male!character because that is how i myself identify and who i am attracted to -- so if you want something else just lmk!! <33
click here for my taglist :)
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꩜ -- angst ♡ -- fluff ꕥ -- smut
Spencer Reid
Series
★ Bridges to Belonging ꩜ ♡ ꕥ— Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six (18+) Part Seven (18+)
★ Finding Home Again ꩜ ♡ ꕥ— Part One Part Two (18+)
-- -- -- Extras -- Jeans ♡ ꕥ Migraines ꩜ ♡ Bar ♡ Stood Up ꩜
★ i love you ꩜ ♡ ꕥ— Part One Part Two
★ Short Shorts & Long Hair ꩜ ♡— Part One Part Two
★ Too Sweet ꩜ ♡ ꕥ — Part One Part Two Part Three
★ Make You Feel My Love ꩜ — Part One Part Two Part Three
★ Something Better ꩜ — Part One Part Two
★ Breaking Point ꩜ ♡ — Part One Part Two
★ Too Damn Young ꩜ ♡ ꕥ — Part One Part Two
★ Red ꩜ ♡ ꕥ — Part One Part Two
★ Lost in Translation ꩜ ♡ ꕥ — Prologue Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four
One Shots
Whispers in the Dark ꩜ ♡ ꕥ
Set 'Em Up, and Knock 'Em Down ꩜ ꕥ
Needy ♡ ꕥ
Capturing the Queen ♡ ꕥ
Sweet & Sour Motivation ꩜ ♡ ꕥ
Moving Forward ꩜ ♡
Love in the Club ♡ ꕥ
Lost & Found ꩜ ♡
Strawberry Lemonade ♡
Not Her ꩜ ♡
Ghost of You ꩜ ♡ ꕥ
Textual Tension ♡ ꕥ
Hookups & Holdouts ꩜ ♡
Better Late Than Never ♡
Illicit Affairs ꩜ ♡
No More Misunderstandings ♡
Forever & Always ꩜ ♡ ꕥ
Depollute Me ♡
Say Don't Go ꩜ ♡
Oops: Wrong Person ♡ ꕥ
Blurbs
Silent Echos ꩜
Second Chances and Serendipity ♡
Ink Impressions ♡
Love in the Details ♡
The Hardest Goodbye ꩜
Ride 'Em Cowgirl ♡
Home in Jeans ♡ ꕥ
Car Wash ♡
They Were Never You ꩜ ♡
Rewritten Plans ꩜ ♡
Dare Ya ♡
Cream Cardigan ♡
Picture You ♡
Tummy ꩜ ♡
Home with Migraines ꩜ ♡
Matchmaker ♡
Always You ꩜ ♡
Home From The Bar ♡
Bedroom Eyes ♡
Federal Beach Investigation ♡
Stood Up & Home ꩜
Good Boy ꕥ
The Profile of Attraction ♡
A Reid Christmas ♡
Asks
A Gentle Embrace ♡
Southern Charm ♡
Cinephile ♡
Where We Were Meant To Be ꩜ ♡
Love Doctor ♡
Not Strong Enough ꩜ ♡
Birthday Surprise ♡ ꕥ
Technicalities ꩜ ♡ ꕥ
Lucky ꩜ ♡
I Love You, I'm Sorry ꩜ ♡
Languages of Love ♡
Wounds: Physical & Emotional ꩜
Chip Taylor
Something's Gotta Give ꩜ ♡ ꕥ
Juno(OH) ♡
Hometown Glory ꩜ ♡
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cuddleprofiler · 26 days ago
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STITCHES — When you save Aaron and land in the hospital.
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Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader, BAU x platonic!reader
Genre: Fluff, Whump & bickering
Warning: Kidnapping, getting shot, daddy issues (tell me if I missed any)
Word Count: 6k
A/N: Even if it's 3rd Nov officially here but I wrote this for Hotch's bday. It's not based around bday but I couldn't get an idea for that, so....Positive criticism is welcomed.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON HOTCHNER
“Y/L/N.”
“Y/L/N. Wake up.”
You heard a displeased sound, but all you could see was darkness.
“Y/N. Wake up!”
You heard the sound again.
“Y/N, as much as I would have wanted to let you sleep, this is not the situation.”
What is he talking about? Oh! Wait a minute. Who is he?
You tried to open your eyes, but it felt as if you had just returned from an exhausting shopping spree, stuffed to the brim and struggling to wake up. But that wasn't the case; there was no time for shopping now.
Your attention drifted to the sensation of someone's fingers wrapped around yours, pressing gently. The pressure wasn't hard, but it was enough to pull you from the depths of your subconscious, urging you to wake up and resist the temptation to whine for “five more minutes.” Suddenly, the memory of what happened rushed back, and your eyes flew open as if you hadn't been trying to wake up at all.
You glanced around frantically. The scene was tilted at an odd angle; everything seemed askew. That’s when you felt something—or rather, someone—shift beneath your head. 
As soon as you attempted to move, you were hit with the familiar ache of someone who had just completed their first day at the gym.
“Y/L/N! Y/N! Calm down, calm down,” Hotch urged in his ever-composed voice.
Your eyes locked onto his warm, chocolate-brown ones, filled with care and concern. His irises darted left and right, never leaving yours, even for a moment.
Your gaze then fell on your wrists, turning red from the ropes being tied too tightly around them. But that wasn’t what was important. What was important was the fact that your right wrist was tied to his left, and his right was tied to your left.
“Who ties hands this way?” you exclaimed, looking up at Hotch with the innocent curiosity of a child in kindergarten, eagerly seeking answers from a teacher who loomed over you.
“I think it’s part of the ritual they perform before disposing of their victims. They want to create an emotional connection before they end their lives by manipulating them.”
You nodded in understanding, trying to focus your vision, blinking several times to clear the fog from your eyes. Suddenly, everything faded to black.
When you came to again, your head rested on Hotch’s shoulder, and both of your hands lay haphazardly on your thighs.
“It’s a symptom of the drug—losing consciousness for a few minutes,” he said.
“You let them drug me?” you questioned, a hint of disbelief creeping into your voice, sure that he would protect you.
He looked at you in confusion, his expression scrunching up as if you were an alien rather than the agent he had known for months—someone he had never fantasized about(why would you think that?)
“We’re being kept captive,” he said, as if he were reminding you.
“We're kidnapped.”
“You could say that.”
“Being formal about this doesn’t change anything, Aaron. We are kidnapped,” you insisted, your voice rising as you widened your eyes to look into Hotch’s, which had narrowed as he stared intently at you.
Hotch had never seen you like this. You were usually the one to shy away from confrontation, avoiding discussions as if you were facing a gallows. You would opt out of outings with promises of future plans, crafting convincing lies that most believed—except for Rossi and him, who saw through your facade. He didn’t know you had this fire within you.
“You said this would be safe. We’d go to the party to meet your colleagues and return home soon,” you said, accusation lacing your voice, making Hotch set his eyes on you, anger evident in them.
“Yes, but you also knew the dangers lurking around in the city right now, didn’t you, Y/N/N?”
“But you didn’t put a sign saying ‘idiot’ in front of your name, did you? You have years of experience dealing with danger; you walk around with that stoic ‘I am the boss. Don’t mess with me’ vibe, and you’re saying you didn’t know what you were getting into?”
“Like you knew what you were getting into? You came in with roses to propose that day, right before I was leaving, with your enchanting face and beautiful wide eyes. Yet none of those things told me about your lack of common sense and respect.”
“Oh, please! Like you have a lot of common sense. You know what? You should drink your coffee with some sugar. Maybe it will help sweeten your bitter tongue.”
“Yeah, like the amount of sweets you consume did yours?”
“Don’t go after my sweets.”
“Then don’t comment on my coffee.”
“Then what should I comment on? Huh? How you can’t keep your hair in place? Seriously, how do those strands keep falling on your forehead?” Your gaze drifted toward the way his hair fell, then back to his eyes, and finally to his lips.
He noticed where your eyes wandered but kept his expression neutral. By “neutral,” he meant hiding how his heart plummeted at the brief longing in your gaze.
“Y/N, have some dignity when it comes to my hair. You use serum to tame the jungle of your morning madness and keep it presentable throughout the day.”
Your train of thought was interrupted by Hotch’s unexpected remark. For a brief moment, your eyes met his, a spark of connection flickering before you both returned to the weight of the situation.
How does he know I wake up with a jungle for hair?
Your mind wandered back to the other day when you were telling the girls about this, who then suggested you get some hair products while Hotch and Rossi walked by.
He remembers such trivial things about me.
Stop it! He’s a profiler. It’s in his nature to remember things about people. Don’t flatter yourself, Y/N.
The team had profiled the unsubs to be from the upper class; they had the means to enter these sorts of parties without striking to anyone as odd. The way the victims were disposed of spoke about the unsubs being used to ostentation without meaning to, fitting into the norms of upper-class society.
You and Hotch knew you would be abducted. It was part of the plan; you basically set the stage to lure the unsubs in. Initially, you and Hotch were reluctant to go—more you than him because you found him attractive. You were sure you wouldn’t be able to take your eyes off him the whole night, especially as the people at elite parties dressed to the nines, and you were sure the way the whole team was looking at you would make you drool all night. You pressed your lips together, trying to stop yourself from imagining your handsome boss in a tight shirt, flexing his arms, showing off his muscles.
No, no, no! There’s no way I would be able to focus on catching the unsub.
However, none of them accepted your “no”—not even Hotch. He told you how you would be the perfect choice, seeing the pattern of female victims remained the same—one that you would fit. He turned you slightly toward himself by your shoulders, looking you right in the eye, promising that nothing would go wrong and that he would be there the whole time with you. Promise!
What you didn’t know was that they would hurt you to make you comply. The female victims had fought back; you would have to do the same. But none had been hit in the head—either they weren’t, or you were the unfortunate one. If so, the coroner made a grave mistake, and you would deal with him when you got out of here because your head was pounding like crazy. You were sure you had at least a mild concussion
You and Hotch had strategized in his hotel room the previous night, reviewing case files and delving into the plan to demonstrate a temper akin to that of the unsub and to display behavior contrary to the victims.
“What if we don’t show fear?” you suggested.
He raised an eyebrow, and seeing his expression made you gulp. You hadn’t thought much before speaking; it was a bad habit, but sometimes you couldn’t help yourself.
“Elaborate,” he prompted.
When he nodded, you continued, speaking slowly to avoid waking the sleeping bear that resided within Hotch—the one that got angry and lectured people. 
“So what if we show other emotions? Throw them off? They’re organized and live for perfection. Fear is part of the torture they perform, but they won’t be able to if we don’t let things go their way.”
“What do you suggest we do?” 
He seemed impressed, his tone hinting at approval. You looked down to hide your blush, and as you pondered your next idea, you began pacing the floor while Hotch sat in his chair. After a while, he realized it had been too long since you started pacing and opened his mouth to stop you.
“Argue!”
Hotch widened his eyes in disbelief. “You want us to argue while we’re kidnapped?”
“Yeah!”
He was trying to match your enthusiasm, but he struggled to comprehend your willingness to argue with him—let alone with anyone. “Are you sure?”
You turned to him, feeling a seed of insecurity beginning to take root. “I think the idea could work well, sir. However, there’s a chance it won’t be effective with me. You can choose someone else from the team if you’d like.”
He immediately recognized that he had done a poor job of reassuring you. “I want you to be there. With me.”
“Are you really su—?”
“I am, Y/N. We will go to the ball and execute the plan.”
You nodded your head, without any further arguments. He used anyone's first name on the team only when he was quite serious.
Before you could speak again, one of the unsubs struck both of you, causing you to flinch in pain.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” one of them yelled, his brows knitted in frustration. 
If anyone asked them, they would surely return the two chuckleheads they had kidnapped. You two were effectively ruining their game.
“All of the previous ones shivered in fear before us, begged us to spare their lives, but you two are… bickering?” He toyed with the knife in his hands—the same knife you suspected had been used to stab the female victims multiple times. Stuffing down the feeling of emptiness inside, you forced a sweet smile.
“See, first of all, we were arguing, not bickering,” you huffed, feigning annoyance at their mislabeling rather than genuine fear.
Things I do for this job!
“Exactly. And what are you saying about fear? Try living with this woman—she's a walking nightmare!”
He means dream, actually.
You gasped. “YEAH! You didn’t see the nightmare when you happily accepted my proposal. Oh! Or at the altar?”
“If I had, I wouldn’t be here, wearing the ring, would I?” he retorted, giving you a fake smile—more mocking than sincere.
The team had taken care of the rings for the whole undercover mission and made you guys wear them in front of them.You closed your eyes slightly, suddenly remembering the embarrassment of that moment, the heat rising in your cheeks.
The way your cheeks were turning red, Hotch was glad this was a mission and he was not actually married to you; otherwise, he would never be allowed to set foot in the house after the stunt he just pulled. He was definitely sure of that. You were clenching your fists. He wondered whether they were for beating him up or controlling your anger.Your eyes betrayed your frustration, the one you were trying to hide.
She’s a wonderful actor.
“I’m telling you, Aaron. Shut up!”
The way your name rolled off your tongue sounded so soft and fluffy that he could hardly believe it. He knew his heart would ache when you went back to Hotch. He pursed his lips.
“You always complain about me not giving you enough time,” you said, your voice harsh. He nodded in acknowledgment.
You and Hotch could see the team surrounding the room, clad in FBI vests with guns trained on the unsubs. When you glanced at Hotch, he signaled for you to proceed with the plan.
He knew it was risky, but it was a solid strategy to shock them. You were against it. Your face had turned horrified the night before when he explained his plan. It felt as if he had promised you paradise and then snatched it away. You were hesitant at first; he understood, but eventually, you warmed up to the idea.
“Tell me, why should I make time for you when you're always busy at the FBI? In your office, having an affair with your case files,” you said, your tone dripping with feigned anger.
“Like you aren’t in the office, working so hard that you don’t even remember your husband works in the same place.”
Your heart stopped for a moment. You mentally squealed at his use of the term ‘husband.’
How much I wish it were real!
“Wait, what?” one of the unsubs asked, his voice filled with disbelief.
“What?”
“What did you guys just say?” His tone was low, likely from the shock of realizing he had kidnapped two FBI agents.
“You’re FBI?”
“From everything we’ve said, that’s what you gathered?”
As the realization hit him and he raised his gun to shoot you and Hotch, Morgan and Emily barreled into the room, swiftly disarming them. Thus, ending your and Hotch’s plight.
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“You know, for being a parent, you are quite adventurous.” You said to Hotch as you walked down the stairs, who in turn moved his head toward you. You were so close that one move and your noses would touch.  
“What can I say? Being with you brings out my inner talent,” he answered back, continuing the funny banter you had begun.  
You chuckled quietly. “Oh really? Then I probably should tell Garcia about this. She would be really happy for you to try new things.”  
“No. I’m pretty happy that those types of adventures are out of my comfort zone,” he added.  
“Getting kidnapped comes in your arena, huh?”  
“Absolutely,” he let out a laugh.
Lost in the bickering, neither of you noticed anything else. You were so invested in winning and being lost in each other’s eyes that you paid no heed to your surroundings.  
The team and the detectives were searching the place for any other evidence or things that needed their attention. Hotch, being the boss, should have been there. He knew that. You knew that, but neither of you made any attempt to move, staying in your place and bickering like an old married couple.
Unbeknownst to you, the hours spent in captivity had forced you out of your comfort zone with him. You were trying to retreat back to your ‘before-you’ self, but it was proving to be a challenge. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it. Hotch was grappling with similar feelings.  
He didn't interact like this with anyone on the team, except Dave, but he had known him before he became Unit Head. When he transitioned from prosecutor to agent and had a wonderful life—not the broken one like now—Dave had been a part of that life. It was easier to share things with the man who had seen him evolve into the man he was today. He would always understand where he was coming from.  
On the other hand, the others were too young to be burdened with his matters. They didn't know much about him, and it would be foolish to share too much with them. However, you were the exception.
Suddenly, your gaze landed on a figure at the top of the stairs, his finger poised on the trigger. You instinctively pushed Hotch aside, but you couldn’t move yourself.  
Though you had some inkling of what was happening, you felt no pain. Instead, you saw shadows moving around you, felt a shove, and then you were falling, like a ragdoll.  
For a fleeting moment, an unfamiliar fluttering stirred in your stomach—not the kind that came for him, but something more alarming.  
What the hell? Why does it hurt?  
You closed your eyes, wishing the pain would vanish as if it were a fleeting thought. When you opened them again, you found yourself in someone’s arms, both of you on the ground, the ceiling above seeming impossibly high. Your head rested on his forearm.  
Honestly, it was getting hard to put together what was going on. You closed your eyes again. But soon, someone was patting your cheeks, asking you to wake up!  
Rude! What happened to manners?  
As you opened your eyes to scold the intruder, you were met with the most beautiful brown eyes you had ever seen. Had you been more lucid, you might have noticed the worry and glistening tears in those eyes. You raised your hand to touch Aaron's face, but it felt impossibly far away.  
I need to eat more. I have no energy.  
Aaron caught your hand in his.  
“It's okay, Y/N. It's okay,” he said softly, a tone you had never heard from him before.  
I want to hear his soft voice every day.  
A sharp pressure at your wounds made you gasp. You gripped the person’s wrist, trying to stop him, but he didn’t flinch, continuing to apply pressure. Pain shot through you, relentless and overwhelming.  
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.”  
He was feeling the pain of getting you shot. One minute, you both were talking, and the next he was on the floor while Reid shot down the assailant.  
Hotch grabbed you instinctively, lowering your hand to keep you safe before you could fall hard. His focus was solely on you, blocking out the chaos around you. Just moments ago, he was teasing you, trying to draw you out, and now he was fighting to keep you with him. He never saw the attack coming, but you had, and you had acted heroically to save him.
This moment shouldn't have happened. He took off his jacket hurriedly.
Your darting eyes and panicking face pulled him out of his train of thoughts—more of a train of depressing thoughts. He clutched your hand, trying to provide some comfort, some sort of… anything to keep you from feeling only numbness. To keep you here.  
Your breathing grew shallow, and he could feel your heartbeat racing beneath his fingertips.  
“Y/N, listen to me. Look at me,” he urged in a firm yet gentle tone, and you complied.  
“Take a deep breath. Copy mine.”  
He guided your hand to his chest, demonstrating as best he could.  
“I know it’s hard. Please, just try,” he said, watching your eyes flutter open and close.
His sole purpose was to comfort you, to ensure you lived. You had to— for the team, for your family, for him.  
He pursed his lips and scanned for the paramedics, who should have been there by now. He fought the urge to shout for them as your blood soaked his clothes at a pace that terrified him.  
Your groans sent a chill through him, a reminder of the stakes.  
How could I have made such a mistake? What did I do?  
Dave appeared as if summoned, taking the jacket from Hotch and applying pressure to your wounds. You winced at the pain, squeezing Dave's wrist to distract yourself.  
“It’s okay, it's okay, it's okay, Y/N. Don't worry. I need to do this. I’m sorry, but it's required.”  
“It hurts,” you said, tears in your eyes.  
“I know, I know, Bambina. I’m sorry.”  
“I’ve called the paramedics. They’re stuck in traffic,” JJ rushed in, her voice laced with frustration.  
“Tell them to hurry!” Hotch snapped.  
“I have, but they said it’s going to take time,” JJ replied, anger and helplessness evident in her tone.  
“It’s okay, JJ,” you said, trying to comfort her despite your own pain.  
Hotch’s mind immediately wandered to Kate. Just how similar the situation was. So much blood had been on the road in New York, and he was trying to stop the bleeding while Kate spoke whatever came to her mind. How he tried and failed! Failed Kate. Failed in protecting you. Today again, he had been placed in a similar situation. However, he wouldn't let you lose your life today.  
“Make it stop, Aaron. Please, please, please.”  
“I’m trying, Y/N.”  
He was sure your cries would forever haunt him. The pleas to save you would plague his mind like how Hayley's death did.  
“Hotch.” He looked at you.  
“What happened?”  you asked him, dazed.
“You were shot.”  
He could see the delirium in your eyes, the blood still flowing, your head tilting to the side. 
“Hey, hey, Y/N. Open your eyes. Keep them open.”  
“You're being mean.”  
“I would rather be mean than let you lose your life, Y/N,” he said in a desperate tone, wanting you to stay conscious until the medics arrived.  
“WHERE ARE THE MEDICS?”  
He yelled, succumbing to his instinct to urge them to hurry. 
“Don't yell, Aaron, please.”  
“Okay, sweetheart. I won't.” Neither of you noticed the slip.  
As sirens wailed in the distance, he gathered you into his arms, pressing his jacket to your wounds, and rushed outside, placing you on the gurney. He relayed the necessary information while clutching your hand, reassuring you both that everything would be alright. It had to be.
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He looked down at his hands. Covered in blood—your blood—they were crimson, reminiscent of a child's crayon used for innocent drawings. Yet today, the red staining Hotch's hands and sleeves, which he had dismissed, marked your act of sacrifice to save him. Save him. He chuckled bitterly at the thought.
Why on earth would she save me?
He thought about the numerous times he let someone down in various ways. Hayley always topped the list.  He had ruined the one good thing in his life back then—the thrill of their early relationship.Guilt wrapped around him like a suffocating embrace every time he was away on a case.Not being there with her, even for a day, felt like a punishment.
However, as time flew, he gained more responsibilities, going from being a newbie on the team to being the Unit Chief when Gideon took the teaching job at the Academy. From worrying about not being home for a day, he became worried about how to solve cases and how to tell his wife he wouldn't be there again.
It was a mess. His life was a mess. He was a mess. And you put your life on the line to save the man who didn’t have anything in his life to live for except for his son.
He could feel the coldness of the hospital’s black seats, on which he was adamantly made to sit. While he tried to give a stare, he was no competition for Dave, who just raised an eyebrow in response. 
“How on earth do you plan to help her if you constantly try to land in the hospital, Aaron?”
With an audible sigh, he dropped into the seat beside Garcia, who muttered words that sounded like “She’s going to be okay” and “Don’t worry, Penelope. She’ll come back and confess her love.” Hotch had no idea what she meant.
His eyes drifted toward the operating room. He didn’t know how long he had been staring, lost in thought until he felt a hand resting on his knees. Morgan had placed his hand there, a silent reminder to stop bouncing his legs.
“She’ll be alright,” Spencer said, his voice filled with such conviction that it ignited a flicker of hope in Hotch’s heart, warming the void that had settled since he had held you in his arms, your blood and life slowly leaving your body.
He was struck by how quickly you had integrated into the team, despite having joined not long ago.
He couldn't help but reminisce about the first time you entered the bullpen. He always laughed at that memory. You looked like a child who had entered their favorite toy shop, looking around in the hope of buying the whole shop, even if it was impossible. He could see the way your eyes lit up at every scene they captured.
He concluded that it was probably due to being in the BAU, chalking it up to your dream. If you had such wide, radiant eyes at the prospect of meeting unsubs, then he needed to order an evaluation, stat.
Lost in thought, he didn't realize when he stopped and was basically in your path until you bumped into him and jumped two feet back as if you had just been electrocuted. Maybe you did, because he felt a spark through his body when you made contact. He shook his head slightly, hoping not to be noticed, and focused on your apologizing self.
“I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“I didn't see you there, Sir. I was—”
“No worries, Agent. It happens,” he reassured, sensing your anxiety and hoping to quell the panic rising in you.
He didn't know why, but the way you reacted stuck with him. As time went on, he couldn't help but notice how you reacted to things. It was rather wrong of him to profile you, but after being on this job for so long, he did it naturally. He sensed that your fidgeting stemmed from some past trauma, a lingering shadow you carried.
Once, Garcia and Reid came into the office, looking downright nervous.
“Sir, we want to ask you something, and we don't know if you’re gonna get upset, but we need to ask. We don’t mean it in a negative way—”
“Yeah, it’s just we’ve noticed things and thought we should clarify. We know you couldn’t do it, but—”
“What is it?” Hotch asked, hoping to get them out of the awkward situation they had placed themselves in.
“Have you said something to Y/N?”
“In what context?” He didn't know where this was going. He talked to you about many things—from cases to asking about your mental health to your godson’s picture, which you kept on your desk, and whose soccer game you attended where you met Aaron—and he knew they could be talking about anything.
“Sir, we’ve seen the way she fumbles and the constant fidgeting with her bracelet. So, we thought you had scared my new favorite pookie,” she said, now herself looking scared to stand in front of her boss.
“No, I didn’t, Garcia and Reid,” he said, addressing the genius as well, who looked at him with fear, the expression screaming, If you scare my friend, I won’t leave you. “I am not aware of the reason she does it, but I’m pretty sure I’m not behind it.”
At that moment, the reason for your anxiety walked onto the floor, flanked by a cadre of guards. He was a significant figure, an employer who provided for many—but to you, he was the man responsible for your fear.
“Agent Y/N Y/L/N?” the doctor called out.
“Yes.” The answer came in unison, and the team exchanged glances as Hotch stepped forward.
“The operation was successful. We’ll keep her under observation for a few days, but she’s going to make a full recovery.”
They sighed in relief at the news and thanked the doctor, who walked away smiling. Hotch felt his knees ready to collapse with the sheer amount of relief he experienced. He shuddered, thinking of everything that had happened during the last few hours. Hearing the news about you brought a smile to his face. His professionalism faded into something more intimate, a shared feeling of happiness growing inside his chest at the thought of you being okay again.
Suddenly, a commotion drew their attention—doctors, senior staff, arriving to greet a man Hotch didn’t recognize.
“She’s doing okay now. The bullets went through, but we repaired the damage. She’ll be just fine,” one of the doctors assured.
Then the gruff voice reached him. “Are you SSA Aaron Hotchner?”
“Yes.”
“I’m Arthur Y/L/N, Y/N’s father.”
“Hello, sir.” Hotch extended a firm handshake.
“And I assume this is the team, right?”
Everyone either nodded their heads or, in some cases, gave a little wave. However, the common factor was that they all looked confused.
“None of you got injured?” he demanded.
Hotch maintained his stoic demeanor while Emily replied, “No, sir.”
Arthur snorted. “Shows Y/N’s incompetence, doesn’t it?”
The team stiffened, sensing the tension. Hotch narrowed his eyes. “Excuse me?”
“I know, I know. She isn’t cut out for this agent thing. I’ve known her since she was a child. I know her capabilities.”
Morgan and Reid exchanged incredulous glances, fully aware of your remarkable capabilities in fighting, learning, and prioritizing. Rossi shot them a warning glance, suppressing the urge to confront the man standing before them.
Hotch opened his mouth to respond, but the audacity of Arthur Y/L/N cut him off, allowing the tirade to continue.
“Her decision-making ability was nonexistent from the very beginning. If I hadn’t guided her, she wouldn’t have even finished her studies—she’d probably be stuck with a GED or something. I know, Agent Hotchner, it takes a great deal of skill to thrive in this field.”
No, you don’t, Hotch thought, anger simmering beneath his calm exterior.
Mr. Arthur Y/L/N sighed as if he couldn’t help but stop, having so much to say but not wanting to expose his problem child.
“I hope, Agent Hotchner, you make the right decision now. You’ve seen how she ended up in the hospital. What good could it do for her to stay? If she leaves the FBI, your headache would vanish. I have my son handling my business right now—he could do something for her.”
Listening to him talk about you—a friend, a daughter figure, perhaps even a future lover—filled everyone with rage, yet no one dared to speak. They knew Hotch would take care of it; he didn’t need their help.
“Listen, Mr. Y/L/N. Y/N is the most hardworking and dedicated agent I’ve ever encountered. So don’t you dare speak ill of her,” Hotch said, stepping closer, his anger simmering as he examined the features you had inherited from this man. The thought of you living under his shadow sickened him.
“The decision I’m about to make is to have you removed for speaking against a federal agent and trespassing when she doesn’t want you here.”
“How would you know that?” Arthur challenged.
“I’m pretty sure she never contacted you after moving out. You must have people watching her closely; you got here too quickly for someone who wasn’t even contacted. By the way, I just remembered—you aren’t her emergency contact.”
Hotch was. A fact he was pretty joyful and grateful about, despite how he felt he had broken your trust.
“A father having his daughter trailed just to know about her speaks volumes. Do you know she’s afraid to speak because she doesn’t want to be a bother, doesn’t want to be scolded just because you used to talk to her like that? She cut all contact with you so she wouldn’t have to be near you, so it would be best if you leave before I take drastic measures.” His voice rose, startling Garcia.
Now, everything fell into place for everyone in the room, and their hearts broke.
How could a father be like this?
They had encountered many men like Arthur, but they had hoped that beneath your caring exterior lay a loving family—something none of them had ever known. But they forgot that none of them had any chance of that; otherwise, they wouldn’t be in the BAU.
“Jack is lucky to have you as his father.” Your comment now made more sense in Hotch’s mind.
“She’s just another agent to you. You can dispose of her. No need to make a fuss,” Arthur continued with a crooked smile.
“She’s not an item you can dispose of. She’s a person, an individual. She’s special to many people.”
“Oh yeah? Who is she important to? To you?”
“Yes. And if I ever see you near her without her permission, I won’t hesitate to get a restraining order. I’m letting you off this time because you’re her father.”
“I will end your career, Agent Hotchner,” Arthur threatened, a dangerous glint in his eyes.
“Try your best.” Hotch turned and walked toward your room, leaving Arthur to simmer in his anger.
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“What a pretty face to wake upto.” you said, making him move his head from the window he had been looking out of, thinking about your father. You looked at him with a soft smile.
As you offered the compliment, Hotch felt an unexpected warmth flood his cheeks, a rare blush creeping up beneath his usually stoic demeanour. His heart quickened, betraying the calm facade he so often maintained.
It was a warmth that contrasted sharply with the wan smile Arthur had worn. Hotch felt a surge of protectiveness.  Hotch was sure he would have done something if your father hadn’t left quietly. However, he was certain of one thing: he wouldn’t have regretted it. He would never regret standing up for any of his teammates—especially not for you. Hotch smiled softly.Yes, you bore a resemblance to your father, but you radiated warmth and humanity that set you apart. And you had a very pretty smile.
When you finally woke up, it felt surreal. Before you sat the man of your dreams, the one who had invaded your thoughts for months.
I know I have a crush on you, but geez! Stay out of my dreams!
You squinted at him, still dazed.
“Was he here?”
“Who?” Hotch feigned ignorance, but you shot him a look that he recognized as one Dave had taught you.
“How do you know?”
As far as he knew, no one except the medical staff had been in your room.
“Your face. I have a talent for reading expressions, especially yours.”
“Seriously?”
“No. The nurse mentioned you argued with him earlier.”
“I’m sorry for—”
“Don’t. You did me a favor, Aaron.”
“Wow! Your name sounds nice,” you mumbled, and Hotch felt his heart swell. He knew the medication had you loopy, but he was genuinely flattered.
“Then also—”
“Shhh. Just listen. I would have fought him too.”
Your gaze held his, and he felt the weight of everything between you—the unspoken connection, the shared warmth. His usually stoic expression softened as he grasped your hand.
“You’re not alone anymore, Y/N. I’m here for you.” He smiled, and you returned it, a spark igniting in the air between you. For the first time in a long while, there was hope.
From the doorway, the rest of the team watched, unable to tear their eyes away from the chemistry crackling between you and Hotch. It was a warmth that cut through the sterile chill of the hospital, a bond forged in adversity.
“What just happened?” Prentiss whispered.
“I believe we just witnessed the start of a love story,” Rossi replied with a knowing smirk.
“Bossman is in love,” Morgan added, grinning.
“Well, it’s better than watching them steal glances at each other and be awkward,” JJ said, smiling at the prospect.
“Actually, it’s going to be more. They’re bound to evolve into more affectionate gestures,” Reid chimed in.
“Nooo. It’ll be cringeworthy, but the blackmail potential would be priceless,” Morgan teased.
“Oh my! We can use this for their wedding speech!” Garcia exclaimed.
“Wedding?” Rossi raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves,” JJ admitted.
“Yeah, probably they won’t even start dating anytime soon,” Prentiss added.
“You haven’t been in love, Em. I’m telling you, they’re going to get married soon,” Garcia insisted.
But in that moment, as Hotch stood by your bedside, he felt the flicker of hope—perhaps even love—beginning to ignite in the space between you. A new chapter was unfolding, filled with promise, support, and a chance for happiness.
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mrs-kmikaelson · 4 months ago
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What's in a Name?
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader Summary: 5 times you and Agent Hotchner questionably cross paths over the years, just for him to watch you walk away (+1 time you don't). Warnings: long asf, murder, violence, addiction, unhealthy coping mechanisms, corruption in government, allusions to abuse, one made-up case, hotch is a lil ooc (not rlly), and reader has grey morals (lmk if there's more) Eps incl: S1E21 (secrets and lies), S3E20 (lo-fi), S4E1 (mayhem) Words: 24.4K
Masterlist | Bonus (no.6)
a/n: this is the longest fic i have ever written. guys, one section is literally 10k words long— and i didn't notice!! it's too long for one part (there's a 1k block limit on tumblr) so the bonus is linked above and at the bottom. it took me... a while. so i hope u enjoy! might do a part 2. also i'm only on s4 of cm rn (even tho i know too much alr) so pls don't spoil. ly guys!!
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1. The myth
Quantico, Virginia, 2004
The interrogation room was cold and your fingers felt frozen against the metal of the table, but you doubted it had anything to do with the fact that it was December. If anything, you'd bet good money that as soon as you stepped out of the room, the heat would return. You'd bet good money that a certain Agent Hotchner sitting across from you had fucked with the AC unit.
Nonetheless, you didn't show your discomfort, keeping a poker face.
Well, as much of a poker face that you could keep.
You had a smile on your face, a twinkle in your eye. While you preferred not to spend time in police stations, this really was turning out to be quite interesting.
Agent Hotchner didn't seem to hold the same opinion as you. The frown on his face was unmoving, his expression stone cold. High-strung, you thought, and then you wondered what crazy things he might've seen to make him that way.
You turn to the man sitting next to him (the boy really), and asked, "Does he ever smile?" You pointed to the man in question to emphasize your point, even though it was clear as day who you were referring to.
Spencer, as you'd learned his name was, looked somewhat flustered at your question, like he wasn't expecting you to speak to him, but he ignored you regardless. You took that as a no. "Ms. Y/L/N, you're known throughout the United States and many other European countries as 'The Angel of Death.'" Your smile widened at your nickname. "They say that, as soon as you contact someone, they're as good as dead."
"Oh? Is that what they say?" Your voice was sly and teasing.
Spencer ignored you yet again. Rude. "You send them a message through various online media, and then they mysteriously turn up deceased."
"Do they?" you drawled.
The stoic and silent Agent Hotchner took this as his cue to speak up. "As of late, your existence has been nothing more than a rumour, an urban legend amongst criminals and internet sleuths. A myth."
You hummed.
"But your recent attempt on Congressman Baylor has failed. You got sloppy," he deadpanned. "You went for a fish bigger than you could handle, and now the myth is likely headed for life without parole unless you tell me who you're working for."
You were silent for a moment as you held his stare, and he thought that finally, he was getting somewhere with you, but then you broke that silence with a giggle so bubbly it was almost hard to believe you were assassin.
"That's cute," you remarked.
He narrowed his eyes. "What's cute?"
You shrugged nonchalantly. "The fact that you think you can convict me."
It was Spencer this time that spoke up, his voice soft in comparison to the jagged edges of his partner's. Perhaps this job hadn't broken him yet, you thought. "Y/N, arrogance isn't gonna get you out of this."
You snorted. "No, trust me, this isn't arrogant. It's self-assured." You didn't give them a chance to get another thing in. "Tell me, what exactly has your technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, been able to dig up on me?" You saw slight alarm flare up in Agent Hotchner's eyes, surprise in Spencer's. "She's FBI, yeah, and you guys sure do like to play by the rules, but she isn't an agent like you, Hotchner. She must get impatient, bend the rules, perform some illegal activity that you don't question because it helps you with your case. That's why I'm a bit surprised that, even though she likely did run an illegal background on me, she didn't find my records. I mean, they're not that sealed. I bet I could unseal those bad boys right now."
He's lucky you didn't put money on that bet, because you would've won.
Aside from his eyes, no emotion other than irritation showed on his face. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, you poor sweet things." Another chuckle left you. "Have you ever heard of this little thing called immunity?"
Hotch was quick to dispute. "No. You do not have immunity."
You contested, "Oh, yes, sweetheart, I do. And if you had checked my pockets for anything other than a pistol, then perhaps you'd have noticed this." Since they hadn't cuffed you, you reached into your back pocket easily and pulled out your badge, the words Central Intelligence Agency catching their eyes immediately. 
Hotchner scoffed, the most emotion you'd seen from him since you met. "You're CIA?"
You cocked your head. "Y'know, for some of America's supposed best minds, I'm a little unimpressed."
Reid leaned forward in his seat. "You're—"
"Yes, I am. So your girl back at HQ seemed to miss a few details about me, and you have missed more than a few details about this case— if a case is even what you could call it." You stood up and rested your hands on the table, getting bored of this game already. "What you have, SSA Hotchner and Dr. Reid, is not a serial killer. I hope your victimology analysis picked this up already, but the quote-unquote victims you have are all bad people, people who have broken the law in irreparable ways. And when I say irreparable, I don't just mean Bill Clintoning it up with minors, despite many of them having done that. I mean selling government secrets, espionage, treason. Things that threaten national security, things that my bosses do not like. I'm sure you catch my drift, don't you?"
Before Agent Hotchner could respond, the door to the interrogation room was opening, and a smirk automatically arose on your face. About damn time. 
A man who you instantly recognized as Jason Gideon stood in the doorway. You briefly met once, but you doubt he remembered you. His face was stern, too, and reluctance shined through his voice. "Hotch, the Secretary of Defense is here, and the DOD is demanding she be released."
You maintained Hotch's stare all the while Gideon spoke. The clench in his jaw was small, but you caught it. Something told you this man didn't like to be challenged—you'd keep that in mind.
Eventually, he nodded.
You grabbed your coat from behind your chair, stowed your badge away and flashed them your million-dollar smile. "Well, it was nice meeting you, boys. Let's do this again sometime, yeah?"
Then you were out the door, and Hotch thought that if he went forever without seeing you, it'd still be too soon.
And when Congressman Baylor was found dead a few hours later, he wasn't surprised.
2. Smile
Langley, Virginia, 2006
"I've got the personnel files all set up for you guys. Video, whatnot—it's all there in the conference room. Now if you have any questions, feel free to talk to my senior officers. This is Gina Sanchez, she's the Associate Director of Field Operations. And that guy up there is Kruger Spence, the Assistant Director of Operations. The lady with him is his second-in-command, Olivia Hopkins. And then there's, of course, my boss."
Gideon's brows went up. "Your boss?" he echoed. The rest of the team's confusion was just as palpable. When he was brought in by Bruno Hawks to assist the CIA in finding their mole, he assumed he was the one running point. As far as he was concerned, Hawks didn't even have a boss that'd be there.
"Yes, she's flown in from an assignment to help with this case." Right on cue, you walked out of an office, heels clicking on the floor and the same smile on your face that Hotch could remember from two years ago. "Meet Director Y/N Y/L/N; she's head of a CIA black ops initiative and envoy from the NSA."
Your voice was smug. "Oh, trust me, Bruno, we've met before." This time, Hotch couldn't conceal his scoff. He felt Elle glance at him in confusion—she's the only one who didn't know who you were. "Agent Gideon, it's a pleasure to meet you formally." He shook your hand, albeit unenthusiastically. "Agent Hotchner, I knew I'd be seeing you again." He rolled his eyes, making your smile widen, but out of his strong urge to be polite above all other things, he shook your hand, too, pulling away as fast as he could. "Dr. Reid." He nodded back to you, almost hesitant. You nodded to the rest of them individually. "You two I haven't met, but you must be Derek Morgan and Elle Greenaway. I wish we had more time for pleasantries, but lives are on the line, so I'd like to get moving ASAP."
With that, you swiftly turned and walked back to the office you'd made your own. You didn't often spend time at headquarters, but a mole in the Agency was enough to pull you away from the case you'd been working previously.
As you left, you heard Reid explain to Elle in a hushed tone, "That was The Angel of Death."
You stifled a chuckle. Let's see if Agent Hotchner's team was as good as they claimed to be.
You and Hotch stood on either side of Bruno on the platform as he spoke to the entire office, Gideon off standing alone, seemingly in thought. "Now, we all know why BAU and Ms. Y/L/N are here. They have their job and we have ours. And we're down to the wire on this. Aaliyah Nadir risked everything, and now she and her children deserve our fullest attention. Let's find her."
They all walked off after Bruno dismissed them, all but Gina Sanchez. You glanced at her from the corner of your eye as she went to talk to Agent Gideon. You didn't hear their conversation, but you saw the hostility painted all over her face. Interesting.
After she left, Gideon made his way over to where you were standing, speaking quietly. "We think the agent who's tipping off Hassan may have had some kind of extreme event in their life."
"Something that distorted or redefined their belief system," Hotch added.
Bruno was quick to get defensive. Why, you weren't sure. "No, every agent undergoes regular psych evals. You know that. They're trained to cope with extreme events"
"Well, whatever turned this agent must not've been something you can train for," you cut in. You didn't miss the way Hotch glanced at you.
Bruno gestured outward with his hands. "Well, you're welcome to everything I have. Every op undertaken by these guys is on file."
You snickered a bit under your breath. Your ops certainly weren't "on file."
"What about the ones that aren't on file, like the wiretaps of the Saudi Embassy?" Hotch questioned.
"Those don't even exist," Bruno said. You didn't confirm nor deny that statement.
"How long has your department been running operations in Riyadh?" Hotch turned to Bruno, back straight and eyes sharp.
"We have a declared presence in Riyadh, monitoring US interests there. You know that. Now if that's all, I have an informant to save." You hummed as Bruno walked off, finding his attitude quite intriguing.
"And you, Agent Y/L/N?" You turned to face Gideon. "What do you think?"
You tilted your head. "Aren't you and Bruno friends? Why not ask him?" Because he had the same feeling you have.
He responded without missing a beat. "You don't have a belief system—this job is all you believe in."
This caused you to chuckle. He wasn't wrong. "Good profiling, Agent Gideon. And yes, I have my suspicions, but until further information is gathered, I'm not at liberty to discuss them. For everyone's safety." You gave one last glance to Agent Hotchner. "I look forward to see what your team has brought together."
Not long after your talk with Hotch and Gideon, you stood with the latter and Agent Greenaway in a supply office where the body of Olivia Hopkins was lying dead.
Gideon turned to you expectantly. "It's your job to clean house. You do this?"
You scoffed. "If I wanted to kill a CIA senior officer, believe me, you wouldn't have thought it was a murder at all." You glanced around the room you were in. "And I certainly wouldn't have done it in a federal building."
He must've believed you because he ended his line of questioning there, turning back to Elle. "Have any other agents seen the body?" When she shook her head, he replied, "Good. We can use this to our advantage. Get the others."
You met up with the rest of the BAU in their designated conference room as Gideon quickly explained the situation. Your suspects filed into the room shortly after, each confused and annoyed. You analyzed their body language closely, standing next to Agent Hotchner.
"You're pulling us away from our assignments?" questioned Kruger. "There's a woman out there whose life depends on us."
Defensive. Self-centred. Rude. But not your guy.
Gina was the first to ask where Olivia was, which was either genuine or she was covering her ass.
Hotch was the one to answer. "Olivia Hopkins was murdered 10 minutes ago. Her neck was snapped."
"Just like John Summers," you drawled.
Kruger let out a scoff, but you kept your eyes on the other two as he spoke. "What are you talking about?" Gina looked spooked, but Bruno's expression was cold, even as he tried to imitate warmth. "You're lying. Where is she?"
"Right now, she's dead," you emphasized, not really caring to be sensitive.
Kruger looked at you like you'd just killed his dog. "Look, people don't just... get murdered inside the CIA."
Gina looked at him with betrayal in her eyes as if he were a traitor. Shifting blame.
Hawks spoke up. "I realize the enormity of this, but Hassan Nadir is still out there looking to kill his wife, and I need every agent on this." You tilted your head. Deflecting. He didn't even acknowledge that his own colleague, his responsibility, was dead.
Gina was the first to leave the room, deeply frazzled. Gideon followed after Hawks, but you didn't go with him. You stayed in the room with Hotch while the rest of his team filed out.
You weren't expecting him to talk to you, let alone ask for your opinion, but he did. "What are you thinking, Y/L/N?"
You hid your surprise, nodding to the door Gina and Kruger walked out of. "My money's not on her; it's not on Kruger, either."
He furrowed his brows, lowering his voice. "You think Bruno Hawks is the mole?"
You shrugged your shoulders. "Bruno's been leading this unit for all of, what, ten years? And he hasn't advanced at all? Someone like him must have higher ambitions, like leading the Agency one day, but that's not in his cards. Gina Sanchez and Kruger Spence have bright futures here; Hawks is already at the end of the line. So what's the next best thing in this city besides power?"
Realization dawned upon him. "Money."
"And by the looks of the old car he drives, that's something he's lacking, but something that he wants," you deduced, pausing. "But I'll let you continue your investigation."
He caught your hand just as you turned away, and you ignored the small spark that was sent through your body. His eyes were earnest and curious, but most of all you realized that they were beautiful. "Y/N, what's going to happen to the mole when we find them?"
You ignore the unfamiliar flutter you felt after he said your name for the first time, and it's then that you remember Hotch was a prosecutor. Before he was unit chief Agent Hotchner, he was just Aaron Hotchner, a man who valued balance and believed in justice. Even now, after climbing the ladder, he still didn't seem to understand that his own government was different.
In matters like these, the United States government didn't value justice.
They valued revenge.
But still, if not just to help him retain his faith in his country, you shrugged and told him, "The scales will be evened, Hotchner." 
Then you pulled your wrist out of his light grip and walked away, and he couldn't tell if he wanted to know what you meant.
Sanchez and Morgan were on their way to rescue Aaliyah and her children, and then you were made aware that Hassan was already there.
Bruno turned to Gideon. "Look, we can't arrest him. This is still a CIA matter. You do know that?" He then turned to you, like he was expecting to you to back him up.
You shook your head as Gideon said what you were thinking. "How are you going to explain this to the Saudi government?"
"Explain what?" he fired back. "This isn't happening."
You crossed your arms. "That's not how this works, Bruno. You don't just kill a Saudi diplomat and get away with it—that is how wars begin."
He scoffed at you. "Look who's talking. The Angel of Death, giving me a lecture on in-house cleaning."
You narrowed your eyes and stepped forward. "I don't know who the hell you think you're talking to right now, but you need to double back because, at the end of the day, what I. say. goes."
Bruno opened his mouth to argue, but Jason mediated, "Let's just get Aaliyah and her children back alive. We'll worry about Hassan's life after."
You gave Bruno one last hard stare before you turned back to the screen showing the Nadirs with Morgan and Gina outside. "Make the arrest, Morgan," Gideon called out. "It's FBI jurisdiction. You're in charge."
You listened to them over the comms. [FBI! Let the lady go and put the gun down. I said, put the gun down!]
The movement of heat on the screen told you that Hassan listened. [Diplomatic immunity, my friend], he said, and you chuckled.
[Uh-uh, you got it wrong, my friend. This container hasn't passed through customs. Officially, we're not on US soil. Summers was a smart man.]
Suddenly, you heard Gina's voice. [That he was.] Pause. [Drop the gun.]
The feed cut in and out as the figures moved out of the container. Confused, you called out, "Morgan, Sanchez, what's going on?"
Hawks turned to you and Gideon, and you wanted to wipe the smug look right off his face. "You two still certain that Gina isn't the mole?"
Gideon ignored him. "Morgan." No answer. "Morgan, what's going on?"
[Gideon, we got a situation here.]
You raised your voice. "Gina, don't do this. Do not do this."
"She doesn't take orders from you," Bruno snided. 
You took another step forward to him. "Listen here, asshole—"
Gina cut in, [Bruno, what do you want me to do?]
"Gina, you put down that gun. That is an order—"
[Bruno?]
This made you turn to Bruno, and if you were in an animation, smoke must've been coming out of your ears. "Hawks, I swear to god, if you don't stand down, you will be endangering the security of this country—"
Bruno only responded to Gina. "You know what to do."
[Say it!]
"This is not your call. It is not your fucking call, Bruno."
He finally turned to you. "This is strictly in-house and you know it."
"I don't give a damn. It is still not. your. call."
"Finish him."
"Gina, don't you dare do this."
[You're going to cut the visual feed, right, Bruno?]
"Of course. Cut it now. Cut it," he ordered, and the feed was off before you could even protest.
And then you heard four gunshots. 
You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. White hot anger rushed through your veins in contrast to your normal playful demeanour. Meanwhile, Bruno turned to Gideon, saying, "I want to thank you, Jason, for your help."
You stayed quiet as Gideon responded, too angry to speak. "Why?" He paused, genuine disbelief evident in his tone. "Why'd you turn against everything you believe in?"
"What are you talking about?"
"When someone asks you how you feel about... losing one of your colleagues, the only human answer is 'I feel guilty,' isn't it?"
Bruno nodded and mocked, "But as you so brilliantly deduced, Kruger Spence is the guilty one." Following that statement, you watched as Elle walked up to where you three stood, a tiny paper in hand that she gave to him. Based on the ignorant smile that graced his face upon reading it, you could guess what it said. "Ridiculous," he deflected, tucking the paper into his jacket pocket. "Absurd."
That's when you snapped out of your anger-induced stupor. "No, Bruno." You shook your head. "The only thing that's absurd is how arrogant you are to believe that you're getting away with this."
Bruno pursed his lips, flashing you a sarcastic smile. "Unfortunately, with Hassan now dead, you have no proof."
"Oh, you son of a—"
Dr. Reid cut you off, announcing to everyone, "Actually, Hassan is alive and well. He's en route—that's all the proof we'll need." At this, you let out a chuckle. You certainly didn't need that proof, but it was nice to prove Hawks wrong before he was sent to where he deserved to be.
He clenched his jaw, stepping closer to Gideon instead of you, likely because he knew he couldn't shake you. "You are a fool if you think they're going to put me in prison with all that I know." He glanced at you and your lips quirked upward, because this was true.
"Why'd you have to kill Olivia?" Elle interrogated. She was straight to the point; you liked her. 
"Economics," Gideon replied, staring straight at Bruno. "Olivia was looking into your financial records when you snapped her neck."
Elle scoffed under her breath. "So she knew your dirty little secret."
"Which one?" Bruno asked. "I have so many."
You stepped closer to the trio. "The one that involves you cashing out through Hassan, maybe buying a real Rolex instead of the fake you don so proudly."
You could see Bruno's façade cracking, his frustration leaking through. "Twenty-million from Hassan will go a very long way to help occupy my mind on a beach somewhere."
Gideon wasn't fazed. "The only beach you'll see is on a postcard I send you from my vacation. Let me have your gun."
Knowing there was no way out of this, Bruno did what he said willingly, but he still had to taunt. "You know, I think the consequences of what you're doing to me, my friend, are going to be a lot harder to live with than you think."
Jason stared at him without blinking, and he stared until Bruno walked out, escorted by agents left and right of him. You found it comical, that petty thieves were escorted to the back of police cars in chains, yet a man who nearly started a war could walk out freely.
Well, you supposed Bruno Hawks wouldn't be free for much longer.
And it was your job to see to that.
You were packing up your things in your office when a knock sounded. You turned to see a raven-haired man in a suit standing there, a hand in his pocket. A grin came to your face. "Agent Hotchner," you greeted. "Congrats on solving the case."
He let out a chuckle that surprised you. Aaron Hotchner didn't look like a man who laughed often. "Yeah, well, thank you, but I have a feeling you knew from the beginning."
Your grin widened. "Ah, I just needed proof." You continued to pack your things. "And besides, I wanted to see what your team was capable of."
He hummed, and you thought he'd leave after that, but he stayed, looking around the room with a careful interest. "No pictures," he noted. "No personal artifacts. It's extremely clean in here—untouched, almost. How much time do you spend here?"
You fully turned to him after that, giving him your full attention. With comments like those, that must've been what he was after. You crossed your arms, but the smile never left your face. "Perceptive, Hotchner," you remarked. "Profiling me now?"
He shook his head. "Not profiling, just observing."
Now it was your turn to hum, looking him up and down. You found that you liked what you saw, visually, but the implications to what you saw weren't very fond. "Well, what I observe, is an accomplished man in a nice suit, but you don't wear that suit because you're unit chief, you wear it because you got used to it as a prosecutor and now it makes you feel on top of things... professional. You're stiff and stoic, but that's because you like to separate your work life from your home life. At home, with your wife and kid, you're lively and relaxed, but that's also to compensate for the fact that this job takes a lot out of you; you're not home often, and that puts a strain on your marriage, which is why you haven't called your wife once today." Your voice was soft as you delivered that final blow. Hotch looked both uncomfortable and, surprisingly, impressed. But thus far, nothing about Aaron Hotchner was what you were used to. "Tell me, Agent Hotchner, was I correct?"
Hotch lightly snorted, but he didn't answer. Instead, he took to staring right back at you. You'd been stared at by bad men, murderers, rapists, terrorists and the like, but for some reason, his stare bothered you. You turned back around and packed one last thing into your bag. Then you walked toward the door, stopping just before you made your exit like an invisible barrier was holding you back. 
You patted his shoulder, telling him, "You should smile more, Hotchner. It'd suit you."
And then Aaron watched you leave for the second time in his life, except this time—for reasons he couldn't begin to fathom—he hoped he'd see you again.
3. The games we play
Washington, D.C., 2007
The air in Washington was always crisp. There was something different about it—like you could smell the power in the air, like you feel it. When you were home, in your apartment, it was suffocating. There was enough politics in this city that you could drown in it, politics you didn't care for. You saw enough of it as is.
Nevertheless, you weren't home often, so it wasn't too troublesome. Today, however, you were home, except you weren't here to rest.
You stepped out of your Mercedes as soon as you parked, locking the car and walking straight into the alleyway. Men in blue stood in your path, hands out. "Ma'am, this is a crime scene—"
You wordlessly held up your badge, effectively shutting him up. With red climbing up his neck, he nodded and lifted up the yellow tape for you.
When you made it past them, there was a woman in a red dress there. She'd be beautiful, you thought, if she weren't sprawled out dead on the ground. Her dress was so dark you almost couldn't see the blood stain. 
But the blood pooled around her was a telltale.
Next to her body was a card with typed-out letters and numbers that appeared random. 
But you knew better than that.
There was a woman taking photographs of the scene and a detective analyzing it. He was just as confused as those officers when you showed up. "Excuse me, who are you?"
You gave him a short smile. "Detective Walker, I wish we could've met under better circumstances. I'm Y/N Y/L/N." You held one hand out and simultaneously held up the other with your badge. "I've been instructed to take over this case."
He furrowed his brows. "I'm sorry, Ms. Y/L/N, but I've already alerted—"
"Detective Walker."
At that, you screwed your eyes shut and cursed under your breath. You recognized that voice—hell, you recognized the sound of his footsteps. And he was exactly what you didn't need.
Composing yourself, you spun around with your signature smile. "SSA Hotchner."
Hotch looked momentarily stunned at your being there, but that was quickly wiped away. "Y/N. What are you doing here?"
"Well, if you mean in the city, I live here. And if you mean at this scene, then that's because it's mine." You paused, letting that soak in. "This is my case."
Confusion was visible on his face. For a second, you thought it was cute. "No, this is a BAU case. Series of murders, victimizing high-level escorts—forgive me, but I don't see why this would require a CIA presence."
Of course, you don't, you thought, but for once, you didn't say what you were thinking. Instead, you explained, "I understand that 4 women have died in the past week, but believe me, Agent Hotchner, that is not the case I'm here to solve." When his brows knitted together, you elaborated, "These women are not the targets of these attacks."
"What do you mean?" 
You sighed, pointing over to the woman's body. "See that card over there?"
"Yeah, it's the unsub's signature."
"No, it's more than that. It's not a way for him to get off; it's not something he does compulsively. It is a taunt," you stressed. "Those letters aren't random. They're part of a code."
"A code to what?"
"A code to an NSA file recording every single undercover operation the United States has in foreign countries." Like your words were a vacuum, they sucked anything lighthearted out of the atmosphere—if there was any to begin with—and left tension in their wake. "6 high-level analysts have parts of that code. I'm guessing that 4 of them are already dead." You glanced back at the dead body before looking back at Hotch. "The unsub isn't a serial killer, Agent Hotchner. He's a traitor with a mission to annihilate everything in his wake."
After looking at the scene, you sent Detective Walker away, telling him it wasn't personal but this case was too sensitive to be worked by local police. They didn't have the clearance nor did they have the means to help. You asked him to send you all of his evidence, and he complied easily, but someone wasn't so easily persuaded.
"You're going to need help."
You snorted. "Thank you, but I think I'll do just fine without it." Just as you reached your car, Hotch grabbed your wrist. 
You turned around, but before you could say anything, he spoke. "You could use my team, and you know it."
Your eyes ever so slightly narrowed. "All due respect, Agent Hotchner, but this is above your pay grade."
He held your stare for a few seconds until you saw his jaw tense. He glanced to the side before he exasperatedly muttered, "Please, Y/N." He looked up at you. "I want to help with this case."
Unknowingly, you straightened your back. Aaron Hotchner surprised you more and more each time you saw him. The corners of your lips curved upward, but something about your smile was more sincere. "You're not a man who says please much, are you?"
He rolled his eyes and neglected to answer. "Does that mean you'll accept our help?"
You paused. Was that what you meant? Your mouth didn't correspond with your brain as you replied, "I'm running point on this." Hotch's shoulders imperceptibly relaxed and he nodded. "I'll tell Detective Walker to send his stuff over to the BAU. I'll meet you there to brief your team." You turned away before you could see him nod a second time.
You don't know why you said yes, but you did. On the drive over, you told yourself it was because he was right, you could use some extra hands, and it helped that the BAU were good at what they did.
Yes, that's why I didn't send him away. 
You didn't explore any other option.
Hotch got to the BAU before you but waited for you to arrive before walking into the building. To make sure you got to the right place, you reasoned. 
You went through the typical security procedure: removed your guns, walked through the metal detector, and showed your ID. In the elevator, you cracked a couple jokes that he didn't laugh at, asshole, but you nearly caught him slipping at one.
"This city's so damn power-hungry that even the serial killers would prefer a fucking computer code over sex. What a nerd. Hey, how often does that happen in your line of work, Hotchner?" You turned your head for his response when you saw his lips twitching.
You let out a dramatic gasp. "Agent. Hotchner. Are you..." you lowered your voice, a devious smile crawling to your lips. "smiling?"
His efforts to suppress his little smile failed after that. "Let's focus on the case, Y/L/N."
"Sureeee," you drawled. The elevator dinged and opened. "Better be careful, Agent. I might just start thinking you have a soul."
He shook his head at you and walked out of the elevator ahead of you so that you couldn't see him as a full smile graced his face. However, once you got to the conference, Hotch erased any sign of that smile and walked in full-stride.
You gave the room a cursory glance, duly noting that they must've spent a lot of time in here. You noticed immediately afterward that some faces were missing, and on the other hand, some new ones had appeared.
You followed Hotch to the front of the room in front of their TV. 
"Everyone, this is Director Y/N Y/L/N from the CIA. She'll be leading this case—and as some of you may recall, she's already worked with us on an investigation about a year ago," he announced, subsequently gesturing around the table. "Y/N, this is SSA Emily Prentiss, SSA David Rossi, our communications liaison Jennifer Jareau, and our technical analyst Penelope Garcia."
You nodded, smiling at them. "It's nice to meet you all—"
"You're— you're her."
You turned to the blonde with pink highlights that'd cut you off, Penelope, and furrowed your brows. "I'm sorry?"
"Oh my god, you're her," she whispered, her eyes wide and her face awestruck. "You're The Angel of Death."
You held back a laugh. "That is what people to tend to call me, yes."
She opened and closed her mouth repeatedly before eventually blurting, "I— you're an icon. I've read some of your code before in snippets, and it's beautiful. And, I mean, when you can code like that and then do what you do, it's no wonder that the government would want you all to themselv—"
"Garcia." At Hotch's command, Penelope's mouth snapped shut and snickers were heard around the table. "We are here to work," he told her, trying to be serious, but you could hear the amusement hiding behind his tone.
"Yes— yes, Sir. Work. Working," she said, but her eyes remained trained on you even as she spoke.
Morgan laughed, swivelling his chair toward you. "Sorry, angel. She gets a little..." he twirled his finger next to his head, "Comicon-y whenever things involve computers."
This snapped her out of her trance and made her whip around to point her finger at him. "You better shut it, Morgan, before I show everyone those pictures of you at Comicon with me."
His smile dropped. "Babygirl, you wouldn't."
"Oh, yes, sugar, I would."
Hotch exasperatedly cut their very entertaining banter off. "Work."
"Morgan, you've been to Comicon?" Without even looking at him, you could hear the smirk in the man's words.
"Leave it, Rossi. You heard the bossman: we've got work," he changed the subject, but based on the fiery look being sent his way by Reid and the teasing one by Emily, you'd bet that this conversation wasn't over.
Hotch signalled for you to start, so you stepped forward, got a little more serious for his sake, and began, "The serial killer you've been phoned in on is not a serial killer. The women he's killed are unfortunately collateral damage to a much bigger problem." Behind you, pictures of the paper left next to the bodies appear on screen. "The unsub is going after high-level members of the NSA who have fragments of a specific code. He's been leaving those fragments at the crime scenes. So far, he has 4—there are only 2 more. Once he gets the last two, it'll only be a matter of time before he's able to unlock a classified file, detailing every undercover op we have or have had in other countries."
The room was quiet. Morgan was the first to question, "So, he's a whistleblower?"
"No, not necessarily. Given his M.O. and need to taunt us with these papers, his goal isn't to expose the government—it's only a stepping stone to what he truly wants, which is chaos."
Emily spoke up next. "Well, he's clearly a narcissist, and he's sadistic at that. Otherwise, he wouldn't have killed these women like this."
Dr. Reid nodded, keeping his eyes on the file in front of him. "Craves control, finds a way to manipulate the situation and mold it into what he wants it to be." He looked up, talking with his hands while explaining, "Narcissists are devoted to themselves and will further themselves in whatever way possible. They lack empathy and find enjoyment in causing others pain, stemming from their grandiose sense of self-importance. Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb were drawn in and obsessed with Nietzsche's idea of Übermenschen, supermen who possessed such high intelligence that it put them above the law. They later confessed to the police that they sought to commit 'perfect crime.' This unsub is likely suffering from the same sense of entitlement."
Rossi tipped his pen at him, agreeing, "Yeah, he's arrogant and he believes he can get away with this, hence the taunting. All he wants is to feed his ego, but he hides behind the whistleblower façade to absolve himself of blame."
"And he's impatient," Derek added. "4 bodies in one week. We don't have much time before he strikes again."
"No, we don't," you said. The screen changed to display the pictures of two men. "The last two people with the code are Malik Hussein and Ethan Torrie. I believe he'll go after Ethan first; he's in D.C. for this big gala tonight. That's where the unsub will make his move."
Emily looked between you and Hotch, almost as if she was unsure who she was addressing her question to. "So what's our plan?"
You, too, glanced at Hotch before looking back at her, splaying your hands out in front of yourself. "Well, we only have one course of action: wait for the unsub to approach Ethan."
Unexpectedly, Hotch interrupted you, saying, "Y/N and I will go in undercover." What? You held yourself back from widening your eyes and whipping your head around. "The rest of you will be waiting for our signal. Garcia, can you get us on the guest-list?"
"Already on it, Sir."
He nodded, firing orders away, "Alright, Morgan and Prentiss, I want you both to go back to the crime scenes. Talk to the owners of the establishments, bartenders, doormen—anybody who could've seen the unsub leave the building with the victims. Garcia, consult with CCTV footage. Rossi and Reid, I want you looking at his M.O. and why he didn't leave the men there with the women. JJ, contact The Post and tell them not to run the latest murder; it's imperative we keep this and the unsub's true motives out of the press. Y/N and I will go over tonight's plan."
They all voiced their confirmations and, like clockwork, filed out of the room until it was just you and Hotch left standing. The air suddenly got heavier—with what, you had no idea.
It felt different, old and new all at the same time, like everything and nothing you'd ever felt before. You couldn't pinpoint it, couldn't describe it.
Growing bored of the silence, you raised a brow, repeating, "'Y/N and I will go undercover?'"
Hotch, who was in the middle of collecting his things, paused and raised a brow of his own, turning to face you. "Yes. Is there a problem?"
You looked him up and down, taking your time and not bothering to be subtle about it. After a moment, you responded, "No." A smirk slowly came to your face. "Let's go over that plan."
He maintained his stare for a few seconds, reminding you of when you met. Eventually, he nodded and got to it. All the while, your mind ran rampant—but not with the case.
Agent Hotchner continued to surprise you.
And you'd be sure to return the favour.
After planning for hours, you and Hotch came up with a decent story. He'd be going as himself. You'd pretend you were his girlfriend, his tag-along for the party, with a fake identity. His presence would make sense, but if people found out Y/N Y/L/N was there, they'd start to wonder things that this plan couldn't afford.
Your name wasn't widely known, nor was your face, but at a party like this, you had to be careful.
That's what you explained to Hotch.
"I don't understand. Nobody knows who you are. Not even Garcia could figure out who you really were when we met." He furrowed his brows in confusion.
You sighed, "There's going to be a lot of powerful people there, Hotchner. Everybody knows The Angel of Death, but there are some big fish in Washington that know she's Y/N."
This seemed to confuse him more. You surmised that he didn't like not knowing things. "Why do you say it like that—say your name as if it's not your name?" 
You gave him a look.
His eyes widened. And for the second time that day, you found yourself thinking that Aaron Hotchner was cute. "It's not your name?"
"Why do you think Penelope had such a hard time finding my credentials?" you inquired. You went on before he could answer. "I take it she didn't find my records at The Academy, either. She found that I went to Caltech, but she didn't find yearbook photos or my social media. She found that I grew up in Massachusetts, that my parents are dead, that I was born in '79. But otherwise, I'm a ghost, aren't I?" Your voice was somewhat playful.
Hotch didn't seem to find the humour in what you were saying.
"So everything about you is a lie." It wasn't a question.
Your eyes glinted with amusement. You leaned in to where he sat across from you on the other side of the table. If you didn't know any better, you'd say that Agent Hotchner stiffened. "'Nothing more than a rumour, an urban legend amongst criminals and internet sleuths. A myth,'" you whispered. "Does that sound familiar?"
He didn't respond.
"As you said, Agent Hotchner, I am a myth. I am not meant to exist. So find me another identity and show me that you're up for the task before this entire plan is derailed by a name."
Your memory was cut off by a knock at your door. You swiped your lipstick across your lips and they immediately quirked upward right after.
You took your time getting the door. Whether Agent Hotchner realized it or not—or rather, whether he was willing to admit it or not—this was a game. And you were nothing if not a damn good player.
Without knowing it, he started it when he picked you up off the street that day in '04. He moved another piece on the board when he walked into your office in '06. And then he asked to work on this case.
It didn't matter what he thought about you or what your name really was. All that mattered was the next move.
You opened the door and his eyes immediately widened on their own accord. They travelled down your body, tracing the outline of the red dress you'd picked out, finding the slit on the side. But this was all within a split-second.
In the blink of an eye, his eyes were back on yours. If you hadn't been paying attention, you would've missed it. He was hoping you did.
But you didn't.
You did, however, miss his ears going red when you turned around, leaving the door open as an invitation inside. 
"You're wearing a suit," you noted, smirking. "How out of character for you."
You heard the door shut, and then footsteps behind you. "Funny, Y/N."
You chuckled. "Please, I know you think I'm hilarious."
He lightly shook his head as you stood in front of your mirror, putting on your earrings. He took that moment to look around your apartment, eyes scanning over your living room. No pictures anywhere, no plants or art. You had a couch, but no television. He glanced to the adjoining kitchen. There was an espresso machine, but he was willing to bet that if he checked your fridge, it'd be empty. 
"You can stop trying to profile my apartment," you informed him, still adding the finishing touches to your outfit. "I don't stay here often."
"I can tell."
He watched as you picked up your heels then went to sit on the couch to put them on. He tried not to let his eyes wander, instead trying to look around the room some more, but even without having his eyes on you, he still couldn't get your picture out of his head.
Distractedly, he heard you absentmindedly ask, "Hey, whatever happened to Gideon and Greenaway?"
He looked at you to respond, seeing you get up. "Things with the job. Certain cases take more of a toll on others." He didn't explain that Elle spiralled or that Gideon lost everything he held dear. He preferred not to think about it.
You tilted your head. "Did things happen with you, too?"
He didn't answer, instead opting to suggest, "Let's go over the case one more time."
You nodded and let him get away with it.
Hotch schooled his expression. "You're Deirdre Carter. You're a CPA. We met years ago on a work conference but hit it off recently. We've been dating for five months."
"Dating," you repeat.
His brows furrowed. "Yes." He didn't understand why you were hung up on it until he saw you glance down at his hand. It's then that he realized he was still wearing his ring. "Oh."
Your voice got softer, and you didn't know if that was part of the game or not. "Look, Hotchner, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I can do this solo."
"No—" he sighed, looking down at the ring he'd worn everyday for years on end. "I'm divorced. I guess I just wear it out of habit," he revealed.
"Oh."
He took it off and stuffed it in his jacket pocket. "Let's head out," he said. You nodded, leading him out.
And you didn't mention the ring again.
Once you got to the building, you met Derek, who was in a secuirty uniform, at the front. He momentarily disabled the metal detector for you so that the guns on your thigh and in Hotch's boot weren't caught.
In the hall, the music played ceremoniously, an orchestra of jazz players working tirelessly to entertain D.C.'s wealthiest and most powerful. The President would be making an appearance later. You hoped to get this done and get out of here before that happened.
Your eyes found Torrie within a minute, subtly signalling his location to Hotch. He was by the bar, a redhead on his arm. The two of you went that way.
He ordered you drinks at the bar that he wouldn't drink, but as soon as your martini was in front of you, you were picking it up and taking a sip.
"What are you doing?" he hissed, talking through his teeth. "We don't drink on the job."
You smirked at him. "You don't drink on the job. I'm just keeping up appearances." You then took the olive and bit into it. For some reason, you enjoyed getting under Hotchner's skin.
He rolled his eyes at you, likely about to reprimand you again, but a voice in your ears stopped him. "Do the two of you have eyes on Torrie?"
Hotch turned to you and brought his hand to your face, cupping your cheek. To those surrounding you, he was just a man caressing his girlfriend—hell, the leap in your chest told you that you nearly bought it. But you knew he did this so that the mic hidden in his sleeve would be at your mouth. You held his stare, a sweet smile gracing your face as you replied to Rossi, "Yes. By the bar."
"Good. Prentiss is on the floor with the ambassador if you need her."
You leaned into Hotch, too, running your hands down his suit jacket while he glanced around for Emily. "Got it."
The next voice you heard was Garcia's. "Hello, my lovelies, I am watching you on camera. Hotch, to your left is the door through which you'll take our bad guy. It's being guarded by Reid and JJ as we speak."
You lowly thanked her, to which she stammered out a "you're welcome." Hotch took his hand away from your face and you removed yours from his chest, cursing the part of yourself that missed his touch.
If you weren't on a case, you'd have thought more about how pretty his eyes were.
The music suddenly changed, becoming a slow song. Your eyes darted behind Hotch to see Ethan and his date making their way to the dance floor. You downed the rest of your martini then grabbed onto his hand, wordlessly pulling him to the floor.
You felt him lightly tense when you put your hands around his neck. "Relax," you whispered. "Just go with it."
At that, he eased up, wrapping his hands around your waist. You moved to the beat of the song, taking control of your dance while he kept a close eye on Torrie. No one had approached them yet, you gathered.
The dance came easy to you, too easy, like it'd been rehearsed or like it was something you'd been doing all your life. Your feet moved synchronously like they had a mind of their own. You didn't have to think about it—it just happened.
It was funny, almost. The stiff and stoic Aaron Hotchner could dance. Your mind went back to when he smiled in the elevator earlier. It made you wonder what he was like before. Before he was a profiler or unit chief.
You know you were different before you were in this life, before you became Y/N.
You wondered what would've happened if you met back then, when you were just you and he was just him.
And just as soon as you started wondering, you no longer wanted to think about it. Instead, you asked him, "Did you ever think you and I would be dancing together like this when we met?"
He glanced down at you then looked away. "No." A ghost of a smirk came to his lips. "I thought I'd be putting you behind bars."
You chuckled. "I know. It was quite entertaining."
"To you, maybe." He glanced down at you again. "I don't like being blindsided."
"Oh, I know." When he glanced down at you this time, he saw your eyes twinkling. "That is precisely why it was so entertaining, Agent Hotchner."
He chuckled under his breath, and something in you fluttered. "You're something else, Y/L/N."
You hummed, murmuring, "And don't I know it?"
He was gonna say something else but then something in his expression changed. He was back to stoic, eyes hardening. You straightened your back and stopped dancing. "7 o'clock," he muttered.
You unwound your hands from his neck, turning around to see a man beelining at Torrie from across the room. But if you had your way, which you would, then he wouldn't make it to Ethan at all.
With Hotch hot on your heels, you headed his way, moving through the crowd effortlessly. Just before he was about to reach them, you inconspicuously unholstered your gun from your thigh and pressed it against his back, stopping him in his tracks.
Hotch caught up to you, standing to the side and obstructing the view. "Careful, friend. I wouldn't want to shoot you in front of all these people, but I will." As a warning, you clicked the safety off. 
The man tensed as Hotch grabbed his arm. Your voice was sweet in comparison to your sour words. "Now, you're gonna follow him or I'm gonna pump you full of lead. Capisce?" Neither you nor Hotch waited for a response, leading him towards the side doors that Garcia had notified you of.
Upon getting there, Reid and JJ opened the doors without a word and closed them immediately after you'd gone through them.
As soon as the doors closed, the unsub twisted Hotch's arm, prompting him to yelp. Simultaneously, he knocked the gun out of your hand, sending it thudding across the floor. 
He shoved you against the wall, knocking the wind out of your lungs. Meanwhile, Hotch threw a punch his way. A crack resounded through the hallway followed by the unsub growling. He threw a punch back that Hotch narrowly dodged, but in one quick motion, he pulled Hotch's tie, catching him off guard.
In a flash, he had Hotch in a chokehold, fighting for breath. You acted quickly, reaching for the knife sheathed on your thigh, running up behind the ubsub and holding it to his throat, causing him to go rigid.
"Let him go or I slit your fucking throat," you spat.
He didn't ease his hold, making you bring the knife closer, knicking him. "I said, let. him. go."
Begrudgingly, he let Hotch go, who was gasping for breath. You let him catch his bearings for a moment, but you had to alert him, "Hotchner, the cuffs."
He coughed but nodded, grabbing the cuffs from his pocket. You took them from him, shoving the unsub against the wall just as he did to you and pulling his arms behind him. You wrapped the cuffs around his wrists and tightened them until you heard him grunt.
"In case you didn't get the memo, you're under arrest, asshole."
Knowing this would never reach a courtroom, you didn't read him his rights or tell him what he was being arrested for. He knew.
Where he was going, he'd never forget it.
You and Hotch stood to the side in an alley after you'd shoved the unsub into the back of a black sedan, watching the car drive off. 
"I know that you're just itching to interrogate him," you commented, your voice echoing in the night. "But trust me, that's somebody else's job now." You felt Hotch's eyes on you, but you didn't look at him.
His stare burned into the side of your head. "That wasn't a cop car," he said.
"No," you finally looked back at him. "it wasn't."
"Who was driving that car?"
"A CIA agent."
"And where is he going now?"
"To pay for his crimes," you slowly answered, narrowing your eyes. "Stop worrying about it."
He stepped closer to you. "He should be doing that in a federal prison, with a sentence decided by a judge and a jury. The families of those analysts, those women— they deserve closure."
You shook your head, an incredulous laugh leaving you. "You still don't get it, do you?" Your voice was teasing, but your undertone was hard and serious. "A trial means telling a bunch of people, including civilians, about ops that are not meant to exist. It's just not gonna happen."
Hotch kept staring at you for what felt like forever but was really only a few seconds, giving you the urge to squirm under his gaze. For some reason, you didn't like the way he was looking at you. Finally, he looked away, exhaling, "It's not right, Y/N."
Somewhere, deep inside, you felt a pang. You touched his shoulder, softly telling him, "You should know better than anyone that the law isn't about right and wrong." 
He still didn't look at you.
You sighed. "Thank you for your help, Agent Hotchner." You patted his shoulder one last time and then left the alley, walking through the door you came out of and, in doing so, you felt something change. 
The game was over.
You just couldn't tell who won.
By the time Aaron had noticed this change, he tried to follow you, but when he opened the door only to see an empty hallway, he realized it was too late.
You were gone.
And he didn't know why that disappointed him so much.
4. Unpredictable
New York, New York, 2008
Whenever Aaron was in New York, he liked to pick up good coffee and eat good food. But as he stood over a dead man's corpse, he felt his appetite vanish.
He and his team stood at the crime scene, analyzing it. It was different, but he couldn't shake the feeling that everything about these murders were different. There was something off about them, and he couldn't figure out exactly what it was.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a black car pull up next to the yellow tape, the Mercedes logo glinting in the light. He furrowed his brows then shook his head, thinking better of it. Stop thinking about her.
"Uniforms are rounding up witnesses."
Detective Cooper and Brustin's arrival made him look away from the car and toward them instead. "Doesn't sound like anyone got a clean look," Cooper said.
Morgan looked up at the security camera that should've caught everything but in reality caught nothing useful. "It's over in a flash," he remarked. "He's probably gone before anyone even realizes what's happening."
Right beside him, Kate asked, "Is this what it felt during the Son of Sam?"
Just as Brustin was about to answer, a new voice sounded from behind them. "Son of Sam is the least of your worries." His breath hitched. They all turned around, and Hotch instantly realized that he was right: that car was yours—and now you stood right in front of him.
You gave him a glance but then your eyes were back on Kate. "What you should be focused on is another 9/11."
Kate lightly scoffed. "My apologies— who are you?" 
"Y/N Y/L/N, CIA," you introduced yourself, flashing your badge. Recognition briefly flickered through her eyes. "And you must Kate Joyner, head of New York's field office." To be polite, you held out your hand, and she reluctantly shook it. "I'm here as the Agency's delegate, and I'll also be representing Homeland Security for the time being."
"Homeland Security?" You looked to Morgan. "It's nice to see you again, angel, but what does Homeland Security have to do here?"
You went to answer, but Joyner cut you off, "I'll ask the questions, Agent Morgan, thank you." Your eyes widened slightly in surprise, and a quick look at Derek told you that his did, too, but then Kate was looking at you again, waiting for you to answer.
Your mind was brought back to the situation at hand. You glanced at Hotch once more to see he was already looking at you, but then you looked away. "I have reason to believe that this guy is more than a serial killer. In fact, I have reason to believe this is more than one guy."
Kate crossed her arms. "What are you suggesting?"
Every time Hotch had seen you, no matter how serious the situation was, you were lighthearted, amused, knowing you'd come out on top. But this time, your voice was devoid of its usual playfulness as you disclosed to them a fact that changed their entire investigation.
"If I'm right, Agent Joyner, then we're dealing with terrorists."
Once the initial shock from your revelation died down, you told them that you'd explain everything back at the field office. Unexpectedly, Morgan asked to ride back with you and you obliged, figuring his company wasn't too bad.
Hotch stared at you the entire time as you got in the car, and he continued to stare at you until you sped out of sight.
You didn't look back once.
"So, terrorism, huh?"
You glanced at Derek and smirked, finding that playful nature again. "I told you, I'd explain at the Bureau."
He shook his head at you, a similar smirk on his face, then he quizzed, "Hey, did Hotch happen to tell you why Joyner's giving me attitude?"
You furrowed your brows as you came to a stop light, turning toward him. "What makes you think I've talked to him?"
Derek snorted. "Please, every time I've seen the two of you together, you're all flirty—even when he was still with Haley."
"So what? I've flirted with Spencer before—doesn't mean I wanted to get into his pants," you defended.
His smirk widened. "I never said you wanted to get into the boss' pants."
"You insinuated it."
"Why, angel? Do you want to get into his pants?"
You deadpanned, "No, I do not." Despite yourself, you couldn't stop red from crawling to your cheeks.
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that." Right after, the light turned green, as if saving you from whatever this was. Then the teasing disappeared from Morgan's voice, replaced with curiosity. "Wait, so you're seriously telling me Hotch didn't call you?"
"Yes, Derek. That is exactly what I am telling you," you insisted, then you glanced back at him. "But to answer your question, Kate doesn't like you for the same reason she doesn't like me: power." He stared at you confusedly, so you elaborated, "Word on the steet is that the FBI wants to reassign her, and you're their star replacement."
"What?" Shock laced through his voice.
"What, are you telling me you actually didn't know?"
"No, I thought the Bureau was so proud of itself for stealing her away from Scotland Yard."
"Well, don't ask me to explain FBI politics to you. I'm in an entirely different organization, my guy."
Derek groaned in exasperation, making you laugh and forget about Hotch, even if it was only for a second.
By the time you and Derek got to the field office, you were all business, unlike any time Hotch had ever seen you.
With the team gathered around you, you stood in front of the evidence board and started, "The unsubs' behaviour is questionable. They're disciplined, they're using countersurveillance. They take a quick shot then leave the scene immediately, not stopping to watch or enjoy the kill at all. There is nothing sexual about it, and that is because these killings are not the work of a serial killer. They're methodical. They look like mob hits at first glance, simulate gang initiations. They seem random, but they're not. The murders, just like the Death card you received, are a smoke screen."
Kate cut you off. "How can you be so sure?"
You suppressed your irritation at being interrupted and kept calm. Cooly, you explained, "Murders like these create panic— not just amongst the general population, but amongst law enforcement, as well; it is terror. It serves their greater goal." You gestured with your hands as you spoke. "The murders simulate a bombing. From there, they station someone to watch, gauge how long it takes police to respond."
Understanding flashed through Morgan's eyes. "At which point they bring in a second bomb."
"Exactly," you affirmed. "The goal is always to take out a first round of civilians, followed by a second wave of emergency responders. It's trial and error—it's how they practice. And if someone catches the shooter, that's fine because we just end up thinking we have a murderer; the cell is never compromised. And in creating such panic, they ensure the most urgent response time short of a bombing. It's by far the smartest way to plan for a terrorist attack."
You crossed your arms, giving them time to absorb your words. You didn't expect anyone to respond so soon, and you certainly didn't expect that person to be Hotch. "It's a theory, Y/N." His voice was soft, and that seemed to only add fuel to the fire.
You resisted the urge to scoff, sharply retorting, "Isn't any profile?"
He didn't answer. Perhaps that was the smartest choice; he didn't want to pick an argument with you, not now.
Hesistantly, Spencer spoke up, "I think— I think she's right." He walked behind you to the board, picking up a red marker and circling spots on the map before turning back around to face you. "I think they're targeting points of entry. All the murders have taken place near a bridge or tunnel."
"Holland Tunnel, Midtown Tunnel, Manhattan Bridge," Emily muttered.
"If bombs went off, emergency response would shut down any ability to get in or out of the city," JJ remarked. "It's— it's like people would be trapped on the island."
It looked like you had everyone convinced, even Hotch—despite his reluctance to believe you—but for some reason, Kate Joyner just couldn't let up. She crossed her arms. "I still fail to see how you came to the conclusion of multiple shooters."
Unbothered, you replied, "Having followers do the shootings would ensure they're willing to kill or be killed for their cause."
She countered, "But is there any evidence that that's the case?" 
You narrowed your eyes, going to respond when someone's ringtone sounded. Derek picked up his phone and put it on speaker. You could almost thank whoever it was for stopping you from saying something you would or wouldn't regret. 
"Talk to me, babygirl."
Penelope's voice came through the phone. "Okay, I have bad news then badder, connected news. What would you like me to start with?"
Derek glanced up at you, then at Hotch. "Gimme the bad news, Garcia."
"Alright, well, I was looking at the surveillance footage from the murders, specifically the most recent compared to the previous, and found something very, very off. I'll share my screen with you." Emily turned on the laptop on the table closest to all of you, and the footage immediately appeared. Silently, you watched the videos one after the other, and you had a feeling that Garcia was just about to vindicate you. "You guys see what I saw?"
"Well, he sprints off in one and walks calmly in the other. It's two entirely different demeanours," Morgan said.
"Exactly, my dove. So check it out, I did a digital perspective analysis rendering on all the shootings we have footage of. Now the first two were inconclusive, but again, in the last two, I found something très weird." Garcia did a freeze-frame, her analysis software appearing. "Your calm, walking type—he's about 6 foot 1." The screen changed to the other scene. "But your sprinter, he's like 5'9", 5'10" tops."
While the air in the office got colder, you stood there holding back the urge to smirk. You saw both Morgan and Hotch glance at you from the corner of your eye, but you only turned to Kate, seeing somewhat of a defeated expression on her face.
"Is this evidence enough for you, Agent Joyner?"
That surveillance footage was enough confirmation for you, no matter what Joyner had to say about it. Following Garcia's revelation, you walked away from the team's makeshift conference room and walked into the bullpen, pulling out your phone and dialling Homeland Security.
You notified them of the situation at hand and that you were expecting something big soon, but not yet, telling them not to act without your say-so. It was of vital importance that you controlled the situation; you couldn't let the unsubs know you were onto them, so you couldn't make any moves just yet, either.
You hung up the phone, sighing. You hated cases like these. Being The Angel of Death was something you got used to; you could control that, but dealing with a cell like this wasn't just more challenging—it was unpredictable, and unpredictable was something you weren't quite fond of.
You turned around and nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw Hotch standing right behind you. Your hand slapped against your chest. "Holy shit, Hotchner, don't they teach you not to a sneak up on a girl in FBI school?"
Something almost like a smile came to his lips, the last thing you were expecting from him, especially at a time like this. "I'd hardly call that sneaking up on you. And according to you, you've been to 'FBI school,' so you should know."
You scoffed. "Regardless." Hotch's eyes remained on you, and the corners of his lips never went down. An uncomfortable silence then settled between you, despite the loud bustling in your surroundings.
You were hoping you could've gone this entire visit without speaking to him alone.
He must've noticed this, because his next words were, "You've been avoiding me."
You tensed ever so slightly. You'd been here all of five minutes, and he thought you were avoiding him. "I have not been avoiding you—"
"Yes, you have."
"We have bigger problems to deal with. Not everything is about you, Hotchner."
"Why are you avoiding me, Y/N?" You hated how his voice sounded, calm and soft. You hated the fact that he was even asking you this right now. You wanted him to be the stoic guy he always was. You didn't like this. And deep down, you knew that that was why you were avoiding him.
You didn't like the unpredictable.
And Aaron Hotchner was just that.
In lieu of responding, you dodged the question, biting back, "Why do you care?"
Hotch stilled as if you'd just hit him with the question of the century. It was then that he realized he didn't know. He couldn't answer you because he didn't have the answer himself.
He didn't know what he was going to say when he opened his mouth, and he supposed he never would, because a second later, a phone rang.
A sigh left his lips as he went to pick the phone up off some agent's desk, and you watched as the stoic man you knew returned. Yet, for some reason, you weren't as relieved as you thought you'd be.
"Hotchner." Kate chose that moment to walk out of her office while Morgan and Rossi came up from behind you. Hotch's voice became grave. "Does it look it could be one of our guys?"
Derek took the words right from your mouth. "What's going on?"
Hotch put down the phone. "We've got eyes on one of them," he answered. "He's on the subway platform at 59th and Lex."
"59th—? We could've been right there." He looked at Kate with an accusatory glare. The fury that lit up in his eyes and the way she refused to look back told you there was a conversation between them that you missed.
Over the phone, you heard Garcia let out a shaky breath, telling you all that the unsub shot the woman.
Kate paced. "Where the hell are the police?" 
Meanwhile, you picked up another telephone from the adjacent desk. "This is Y/N Y/L/N with the CIA. We have a murder suspect on 59th and Lex, subway platform. Hurry."
You slammed the phone down as you heard Penelope fret, "God, he's getting away."
"Garcia, can you get eyes on him above ground?"
A few clicks were audible as she responded, "He's heading west on 59th Street."
Kate spoke up, stating what you already knew. "If he makes it to the park, we've lost him."
"We lost the visual," another woman said.
Derek scoffed while Rossi questioned, "Are the police on the scene?"
"Negative."
And just like that, without another word, it was clear to everyone in the room that you just lost your only suspect. 
You pinched the bridge of your nose, cursing under your breath. Next to you, Derek made his frustrations much more known. "We could've had that guy," he snapped.
Kate finally looked at him. "Even if we were on that platform, odds are he would have moved onto someone isolated."
This didn't console him at all. "Maybe, but it was worth taking a shot—"
"I had every available man on the street."
Morgan stepped forward, seething. "And I suggested to you that you use this team." Realization came over you. Now you understood why he was so angry; Kate let her resentment of him get in the way of the case, and that decision may have just cost you a life.
Just as you thought Hotch couldn't get any more unpredictable, he scolded, "Morgan, second-guessing doesn't do us any good right now."
Your brows raised, but he didn't look at you, nor did he look at Derek. 
"Hotch, we have a possible terrorist attack coming. How am I supposed to look these cops in the eye and tell them that we're actually here to help them?"
Hotch's reply was sharp. "We're here to present a profile. That's what we need to do."
Derek ignored him, pressing, "I said to put as express stops. 14th, 42nd, 59th— and that's exactly where they hit—"
"It's not your place to have this discussion." This time, Hotch did look at him, and his eyes were hard.
Immediately, you cut in, spitting out his name. "Agent Hotchner." Hotch's eyes went right to you. You stepped forward, firing, "We have six bodies. And right now, I have to call Homeland Security and tell them that we not only have another one, but we also just lost a valuable chance to find one of the perpetrators."
"Which is exactly why we need to stay focused."
"Focused?" Derek echoed. Then he took a step closer, standing eye to eye with his boss. "From where I'm standing, all your focus is on her."
Kate's head ducked down, and from there, it didn't take much for you to connect the dots. All of a sudden, it made sense why Derek had asked you about Kate earlier instead of going straight to Hotch.
And to think that, just a few moments ago, he'd been going after you.
With a tick in his jaw, Hotch commanded, "Take a walk. Now."
Derek stared at him for a split-second before walking off without another word. 
"You know, I think I'm gonna take that walk with him," you muttered. And just like that, it was as if Hotch realized you were still there.
He went to say your name, but you were turning your back and walking away before he could even utter the first syllable.
Unpredictability. What a fickle thing.
You hated it.
You found Derek at a nearby bar, the closest bar to the field office. Contrary to what you said to Hotch, you didn't come looking for him; he just so happened to find the same place you did.
Before you even pulled out the barstool, he was sighing. "I know. I was out of line."
You lightly snorted. "I'm not here to chastise you, Derek." He looked up at you, surprise flashing through his eyes. "I'm just here to drink." Right on cue, the bartender came up to you and asked you wanted to drink, to which you ordered brandy, neat.
When said drink arrived in front of you and you downed it in one go, it prompted him to ask, "Aren't you still on the job?"
A slight chuckle left you. "Morgan, I run an entire CIA ops division and then I also get asked to do things like this." You then deadpanned, "Trust me, I can hold my liquor."
He held his hands up in surrender, an amused expression on his face before something serious took it over, wiping the smile from his face. "I'm sorry about Joyner, by the way." When you look at him confused, he explained, "I didn't have to say that. Not in front of you."
You sighed. Not this again. "Derek, I have nothing going on with your boss. So whatever the deal is with him and Kate is absolutely none of my business." For some reason, the words stung coming out of your mouth, and you didn't like it one bit.
He left it alone and didn't press the issue further (thankfully). You glanced at the beer in front of him. You nodded toward it, stating, "You haven't touched that."
He glanced at it. "Guess I don't have the appetite for it right now."
You hummed. "Or you want to go back."
He let out a long, dramatic sigh, nearly making you laugh. "I have to apologize to her, don't I?" This time, when you nodded and he ran a hand over his bald head, you did laugh. "Fucking hell."
You sarcastically patted his shoulder. "Don't sweat it, sweetheart. I'll walk back with you."
"Sweetheart?" you heard him question as you stood up, putting enough money down for both of your drinks. "And now you're paying for me? You're threatening my manhood here, angel."
"Get over it, Morgan."
And as he let out a hearty laugh, you let yourself pretend that you didn't have a different agent on your mind entirely.
Upon getting back to the office, you suddenly wished you'd had another drink as you were informed that there was not only another shooting, but Detective Cooper was shot after he and Prentiss chased after him.
Kate seemed to have taken Derek's suggestion and sent the team out on the streets in the hour and a half you were away. In that time, Prentiss and Cooper nearly got one of the shooters, but he was fast; he could've gotten away. Yet he stopped and shot Cooper, prompting Emily to fire a shot of her own.
Suicide by cop.
You hung up the phone, walking back into the room after telling Homeland that you'd be calling with another update soon. "Three shootings in one day," you said, catching everyone's attention. "They're ramping up to something."
Morgan held his phone up in the air and wiggled it. "Yeah, well, while you were on the phone, Garcia called. They hacked into at least one camera at every scene and have been watching from day one."
You cursed under your breath just as Kate called your name. "Y/N." You looked up at her in half-veiled surprise, seeing her standing with her arms crossed, a somewhat uncomfortable look on her face. "Aaron told me more about your position in the CIA, how you're more well-versed in situations such as these." It looked like she had a hard time getting the words out, despite the sincerity in her tone. "I'd like you to take the lead on this." 
You were sure that the surprise must've shown on your face, courtesy of fatigue, but you quickly masked it and nodded. You took one deep breath, and then you dived in. "We need to hit the ground running." You turned to everyone individually as you gave them instructions. "Rossi, I'd like you to talk to the Commissioner. He'll be familiar with you." He nodded and left the room. "Derek, you brief Homeland Security, tell them I sent you. I want them to know we're expecting them to strike any minute now."
"You got it, angel."
You turned to Emily, who was already ahead of you. "I'll head to the hospital, check on Cooper, and brief Detective Brustin."
"Good. And Spencer—"
He (with a creepy accuracy) anticipated what you were going to say before you even said it. "JJ and I will talk to the Port Authority Police."
You nodded then realized that left only two people, unwelcome dread filling you. Out of a stubborn attempt to prove his earlier claim about avoiding him wrong, you looked to Hotch but still didn't meet his eyes. "Agent Hotchner, you and Kate should speak to the mayor. I have to make some calls to the DOD. We'll all meet back here as soon as possible. We are crunched for time, but the one advantage that we have is that they don't know we know they're watching."
Everyone who hadn't already left nodded and got to their tasks. Hotch looked like he wanted to stick around and say something to you, but as you said, the clock was ticking. 
You called the DOD and briefly explained what Homeland Security had likely already spoken to them about, that you saw a terrorist event on the horizon. They told you that, luckily, the Deputy Secretary of Defense was in town, only ten, maybe twenty minutes away from where you were. 
Quickly, you gathered your things and made your way out of the building. At the exit, however, you found exactly who you didn't want to see.
Hotch and Kate.
They hadn't left yet.
They stood outside the door, facing each other. He had his hand on her elbow, and he was saying something you couldn't make out. Whatever it was, it made her lips upturn.
You couldn't recognize the feeling that crawled through your veins at that moment. The green monster and you hadn't been acquainted in a while, but for some reason, she was showing up, making your body her home, and you hated it.
Shaking off whatever it was you were feeling, you pushed the door open. Hotch noticed you first. "Y/N," he said. He took his hand off her arm. A weight was lifted off your chest.
"Agent Hotchner," you greeted, promptly turning to the blonde and doing the same. "Agent Joyner. I've gotten word that the Deputy Secretary of Defense is in New York; I'm heading to see her."
Kate nodded. "Good. Aaron and I are on our way to the mayor's office now." She turned, starting to walk away, and then you realized she was heading in the same direction as your car.
Fuck. They parked next to you.
You started walking, too, Hotch now at your side. Kate was ahead of you guys. You're sure that Hotch could naturally walk faster than you, but he remained at your side. This is deliberate, you thought.
Your conversation from earlier hung in the air. With Kate gone, the tension between you was now palpable. But he wouldn't say anything, you assured yourself, not with her in earshot.
But perhaps you underestimated him. With every meeting, Aaron Hotchner continued to surprise you. He had become unpredictable to you.
Yet, the two of you would soon bear witness to just how unpredictable life could truly be.
Just as you were nearing your vehicles, Aaron opened his mouth to say something, but a loud boom cut him off.
Before either of you could register it, you were sent flying backward, shockwaves rippling through your body.
And then everything went black.
New York City has never been so quiet, you thought, blinking your eyes open. And you've never been able to see the stars in this city, either, but tonight, you saw them just fine. Part of you wondered if you were dreaming.
No, not a dream. A hallucination.
There's been an accident.
The thought hit you like a ton of bricks as pain erupted in your side. A groan left you unwarranted. You went to touch it then hissed at the throbbing. There was no blood there, though, no wound, so it must've been the bones.
Nowhere else hurt—not that bad, at least. You tested yourself, trying to sit up. It hurt to do so, but you did it. And when you did, you were met with the sight of an SUV, up in flames.
No, not an accident. This was planned.
But it wasn't your car. It would've made sense if it were your car, if you were the direct target, but you weren't. Your mind ran a mile a minute. Why would they blow up a random SUV?
It's then that you remember it wasn't a random SUV. It was Hotch's.
Hotch and Kate.
They were with you.
With that realization, any and all intellectual thought escape your grasp. You shot upward, the pain becoming nonexistent as a surge of adrenaline flowed through your body. "Hotch!" you screamed. No answer. "Hotch! Kate!" No one answered. "Aaron!" You continued to cry his name but no one answered.
Tears you welled up in your eyes. It was lost on you that you hadn't cried in years. It was equally lost on you that this was the first time you'd ever said his name.
You spun around, letting go of a breath you didn't know you were holding when you spotted a man in a suit, standing there, just staring at the fire. You jogged over to him and called out his name, but he didn't move his head. You tried again. "Aaron." No response. "Aaron!"
Finally, he looked at you. A plethora of emotions could be seen on his face. Confusion. Anger. Fear. Then worry. "Y/N," he breathed. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine." That was a lie, but you could handle the pain well. You had good experience. "Are you?"
"Yes, I think so." 
You took a quick moment to examine him, the cut by his brow, the blood by his ear; you think back to how he didn't respond to your calls. Concussion, you thought, and a ruptured ear drum.
You take ahold of his arm, gently but firmly, and slowly asked him, "Aaron, where's Kate?" 
He blinked, glancing back at the wreck and then back at you. You watched him swallow. "I—"
"Hey! Are the two of you okay?"
Your eyes and his simultaneously snapped to the voice that'd just appeared, seeing a scrawny kid stand in front of you. Like a switch had been flipped, the abundance of emotions on his face dissipated into one.
Determination.
"What's your name?" he questioned.
The kid looked at him, confused. "What?"
Hotch repeated, "What's your name?"
As if he thought you two were crazy, he glanced between you warily. "Sam," he replied.
Hotch didn't look at him or acknowledge his name as he ordered, "Call 911." 
"Yeah— yeah, I did."
"Call 911— tell that there's been an explosion."
"Sir, are you okay?" His eyes darted to you. "Ma'am, are you hurt?" Momentarily, he glanced down, his eyes catching the gun on your belt. He looked to Hotch, finding the same thing. Stunned, he looked back up. "Are you guys cops?"
Hotch's eyes were still on the fire. "Call 911. Tell them... that a— that a federal agent—" Without warning, he took off running towards the car, yelling, "Kate!"
"Hotch!" You went to follow him but the kid stopped you.
"Okay so you want me to say you're a federal agent?"
You turned around, eyes blazing. "Call 911. Tell them that there's been a car explosion, involving two FBI agents and one CIA officer." You barely finished your sentence before you were running after Hotch.
By the time you got to him, he was taking off his jacket, about to shield himself and run right into the car but you stopped him. "Aaron!" 
His eyes darted to you then travelled behind you. The dread painted on his features mixed with relief, but you couldn't tell which emotion was stronger. You turned, following his line of sight, and saw Kate lying on the ground, a trail of blood leading to her body.
Without missing a beat, you both ran to her, her coughing becoming more audible as you got closer. Aaron got down immediately, and her first words were, "My purse. I can't find my purse."
He shushed her. "Don't move, don't move."
"Aaron, my purse."
Shock. She's in shock.
If only just to placate her, Hotch glanced around for it. "I don't think you had one," he said.
"I must've dropped it," she gasped, moving her head.
"Kate—" you cut in from above, "Kate, you need to stop trying to move."
She looked up at you, her eyes widening at whatever she saw. "Y/N. Y/N, what happened?"
You ran a hand through your hair. "I don't— I don't know. A bomb. An IED, I think." You glanced back at the car, your mind going back to the same race it was racing in before you found Aaron.
"An IED?" she echoed. "I have to get up."
"No. No, no, no. Lie down. Lie still. You need to lie still," he pleaded with her.
Suddenly, she caught your attention back. "Am I moving my legs?"
Hotch shushed her again at first, then he questioned, "What?"
Both of you glanced down at her legs at the same time. You resisted the urge to cup your mouth.
You were gonna be sick.
Weakly, she asked again, "Am I moving my legs?"
You didn't have the heart to answer her. From the looks of it, neither did Aaron, because he changed the subject. "I'm going to have to turn you and see where the blood is coming from," he said.
"Do it."
"Alright? Okay." He turned her while you focused on the sirens wailing in the distance, getting closer. The sound blended in with Kate's crying until it was all one and the same to you.
Police cars and ambulances soon pulled up just ahead of you, maybe a hundred yards away. You stood taller, yelling, "Officer down!" When they didn't come any closer, you flailed your arms. "Officer down! Here! There's an officer down!"
Kate's voice, ever so quiet, cut through the noise like a knife. "They're not coming." You turned to her, seeing her look at both of you defeatedly. "We told them not to. Remember?"
Your own words rang through your head. The goal is always to take out a first round of civilians, followed by a second wave of emergency responders.
The reality of the situation struck you. They weren't coming.
"The first wave of responders are the targets," she got out. "ESU orders are not— to let anyone in until the area is cleared."
"No." You shook your head. "I'm not taking that as an answer."
"Y/N—"
"We are getting you out of here, Kate, come hell or high water." Your previous aversion to her no longer mattered. She was lying on the ground covered in blood, unable to move her legs. All that mattered was getting her out.
Without wasting another second, you ran toward the barricade. ESU officer braced their rifles, but you had your badge ready as you stood a safe distance away from them. You were trying to think calmly, as calmly as you could. Your ribs stung as you held the badge up in the air.
The words were spoken in an erratic panic. "My name is Director Y/N Y/L/N, I'm a senior officer of the CIA. Behind me are SSAs Aaron Hotchner and Kate Joyner. She is injured— badly—"
A man stepped forward and cut you off cooly, "I understand that, ma'am, but I have orders not to let anyone in—"
You lost it. "Screw your orders! She can't fucking move!"
"Ma'am, my orders are what they are."
"Your orders are what they are," you repeated under your breath, a humourless chuckle escaping. "What's your name?"
He squared his shoulders. "It's Captain Warner, ma'am."
"Well, Captain Warner," you spat. "Allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is Director or Agent Y/L/N, not ma'am. Director. And I am quite familiar with your orders, Captain; I gave them. You are here because I made the call that put you here. And, so help me God, if you don't listen to this order, I will make the call that relieves you of your position."
Warner didn't appear to be shaken, but you could see the cloud of doubt floating in his eyes. You'd think that anyone would grapple for their job, but Warner was being difficult. "I apologize, Director, but I can't do that."
Your nostrils flared. You were just about to continue telling him off when an awfully familiar voice sounded, asking for someone in charge. Your eyes widened. "Derek!"
Derek's head snapped your way. "Holy shit. Y/N!" He came running towards you but was stopped by the same officers that kept you from crossing the barricade, holding up their guns.
"This area is restricted," he said.
He held up his badge. "I'm Agent Morgan, FBI. That's my friend—"
"This area is restricted," Warner repeated, barely looking at him. "I will take care of your friend. Now go back to the Federal Building. There are evac marshaling spots. Check in and make sure they know where you are."
Morgan held his ground, stepping in front of Warner and retaliating, "I am not about to do that."
"Get out of my face or I'll have you bodily removed, Agent."
"Derek." You caught his attention. "Hotch and Kate are down there."
He spun around. "That's my boss down there!"
"My orders are what they are." 
You scoffed at the recycled statement while Derek argued, "I don't give a damn what your orders are!"
"I get it, Agent, but we've been told by you" he gave you a glance "'Responders are the targets.' So, until the blast site is cleared, no one goes in."
Morgan looked back at you then back at the Captain with a renewed resolution, trying a different approach. "You're Marine Corps, right?" Warner didn't respond, looking down. "Right?"
"Please. Go back to the marshaling point."
"I'm not doing it." He pointed to the site. "I'm not just going to let my man lie down there like that."
As if on cue, Hotch screamed, "Someone! Damnit, we're here!" You nearly flinched at the sheer pain in his voice, and Derek certainly didn't look unaffected, either.
"'Never leave a man behind.' You do remember that, don't you?"
Hotch kept screaming as Morgan and Warner stared each other down. It seemed that he must've gotten to him, because within just a moment, he said, "Go."
Derek didn't waste another second, immediately running to you and grabbing onto your shoulders. "Y/N, are you alright?"
"I'm fine! I'm fine, it's Kate."
He nodded and then took off following with you trailing closely behind, but not before you gave Captain Warner a pointed glare.
When you got to Hotch, the kid was back, seemingly tending to Kate as Morgan explained, "They're not letting any ambulances down here until they clear the scene." He glanced at the kid like he just noticed he was there. "Kid, you've gotta get behind the barricades. Let's go." The kid didn't move. "Go!"
"Go, Sam." At Hotch's word, the kid got up and ran, but your attention was focused solely on Kate, checking her vitals.
"Talk to me. Can we carry her?" Morgan barely gave him time to respond. "Hotch, can we carry her?"
"No, I tried. Morgan—" he paused, intaking a shaky breath, "she's going to bleed to death if we don't get her out of here. We've got to do something."
Derek's phone ringing cut off whatever he was going to say. He picked it up immediately. "Garcia, I got Hotch and Y/N, but listen to me, you got to get somebody down here right away. You hear me? Right now." You didn't hear what Garcia said next, but it caused his head to snap up. "What? You're absolutely sure?" He glanced at you then to the kid who you realized never left.
The kid held his hands out like he was asking what you were waiting for, causing you to tilt your head, confused.
Morgan hung up the phone and then his next words shocked you. "Hotch. The kid. He's the bomber."
Your eyes went wide before instantly going to Hotch. "Are you okay to stay here?" you asked.
He didn't even think about it. "Go."
With that, you and Morgan took off running. The kid bolted, leaving you to chase after him.
Despite the heels on your feet (that luckily weren't stilettos) and obvious bruise to your side, you couldn't feel pain. All you feel was the pure adrenaline pumping through your veins. You hadn't been so ready to fight in ages. The anger coursing through your body was unparalleled.
This kid wasn't getting away with this, and you'd make sure of it.
You chased the kid down the street, Morgan ahead of you. An ambulance passed you while you ran, and you prayed it'd be heading Hotch's way.
You kept chasing after the kid, turning a corner and he was gone, but Morgan was already heading down the stairs for the subway, so you knew he was down there.
You ran down the stairs, skipping steps as you went, following Morgan's lead and pulling out your gun. Civilians filled the station, evacuating. "Out of the way!" you screamed, pushing past them.
"Move! Where'd he go? Where?" Some pointed straight ahead, so you kept running.
You got down to where the subway was, but by now, it was empty. You came to a stop next to Morgan, holding up your gun.
"Show your face, you son of a bitch!"
No one showed. You nodded to the train and panted, "Morgan, I'll take the back. You take the front."
Heaving, he nodded, going for the front. You entered the train with your gun held high, pointing it on either side of the door. You walked through the cart slowly, checking beheind yourself periodically to ensure the kid wouldn't sneak up on you.
You pushed open the door to the next cart warily. It was just as empty as the previous one. You went for the next cart. Nothing again. You met Morgan in the middle. "Nothing," you said.
"Me neither. But there's a door at the front. I'm thinking he could've hopped through there," he told you.
You nodded and followed him there, accepting his help and jumping down. Carefully, with your gun and flashlight in hand, you walked on the tracks, avoiding the power supply. You shouted, "We know you're in here, kid. Show your fucking face, you coward!"
A noise sounded, making you turn around to check it while Morgan continued forward. "You've got nowhere to run, man. You hear me? There's nothing down here for you."
"Is that all you see?" At the sound of the kid's voice, you spun around, moving your flashlight around. "Huh? Darkness?"
You caught up to Morgan, and then the kid showed himself. Your flashlight revealed his shoes lying on the ground while he slowly walked on the rail, balancing himself like this was a game. You cocked your gun. "You listen to me, you little shit. This is not a fucking game. Get your ass off the tracks and put your hands on top of your fucking head. Do it now."
When he failed to listen to you, Derek yelled, "Do it now!"
The kid did as you said, but not to listen to you. It was to mock you. "You will lose in the end," he said.
Derek moved forward. "Shut up. Shut your mouth."
"You wanna know why?" He continued on like he'd never said a word. "Because you fear what we embrace."
Before you could do anything, he took one foot off the track and put it on the third rail. "Get off the— no! No, no!" Derek and you were forced backward as the light blinded your eyes. Without even lifting your eyes up, you knew undoubtedly that the kid was dead.
He just killed himself right in front you.
"Damnit." You reached to run a hand through your hair but you were stopped by the stabbing pain in your ribs, suddenly reappearing. You hissed, "Ah, shit."
"Y/N?" Within a blink, Derek was in front of you. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"I'm fi— fuck." Your knees buckled, but Morgan caught you, holding onto by your waist. When that caused another hiss, he switched his hold to your arms.
"I think you might've broken some ribs. How the hell didn't you notice this before?"
"I— it didn't feel this bad before."
Morgan cursed under his breath. "Your adrenaline is wearing off. We need to get you to a hospital."
"No, I'm o—" a sharp stab cut you off, making you grunt. "Fine. But what about Kate?" 
"We both saw that ambulance drive their way," he reasoned. "They're gonna be okay. Look, if we get back and they're still there, we can stay, alright?"
You thought over his proposal and eventually relented and let him lead you off the tracks, giving in to the pain. You just hoped that he was right, that they were okay.
Please let them be okay.
You arrived at the hospital in record time, passing through the streets like light work. After receiving confirmation that Hotch and Kate were at Saint Barclays, he drove the two of you there, too, insisting that a doctor see you despite your equal insistence that you were fine.
Now, you sat on an ER bed. You had a few cuts here and there but nothing too deep; you were given sutures for one cut across your cheek. The doctor wasn't looking at you right now; she was looking at your chart, giving you time to glance around the triage room.
You weren't a big fan of hospitals, never were. They were never a source of good news, and every hospital you stepped into smelled the same, like bleach and chemicals. When you were younger, you were convinced that this was to cover up the smell of death.
That wasn't too far off.
The doctor pulled you out of your revierie, snapping the chart shut. "So, Ms. Y/L/N, I've ruled out the possibility of a collapsed lung, but you've broken 4 of your left true ribs," she informed you. "From what your partner has told me, you've over-exerted yourself, and thus exacerbated the issue."
"I'm a CIA officer and had to chase a suspect," was the only explanation you offered.
She deadpanned. "I understand that, Ms. Y/L/N, but you've just made your healing process ten time harder."
You gave her a short smile. "I've been through worse."
She looked at you for a few more seconds before she sighed, re-opening the chart book. "I can prescribe you some medication for the pain."
You declined perhaps a bit too quickly. "No, that's alright."
Slowly, she looked up at you, her eyes questioning. "No? Why not? I can imagine you're in a great deal of pain right now."
At her inquiry, you were reminded of someone else's interrogative questions. Hotch's voice filled your head, Why do you say it like that—say your name as if it's not your name?
Your mind travelled back to a time you weren't Y/N. There was a girl with a different name who wore your face, a girl you separated yourself from entirely. She didn't grow up thinking she'd have a future in law enforcement—she didn't even think she'd have a future at all.
She hung around the wrong crowd and picked up bad habits, habits like oxycodone and amphetamines. But you weren't her anymore.
You were 7 years sober.
You'd rather not explain all of this to the attending in front of you—you'd rather not explain it to anyone. Instead, you just said, "I have a high pain tolerance. I can handle it."
She stared at you warily, but otherwise, there wasn't much she could do but accept your decision. "I'd advise against that, but it is your choice."
You pursed your lips into what you hoped was a small smile. "It is."
She kept her persistent stare until she eventually gave up, leaving the makeshift room. You didn't wait long before you left, too, jumping off the table and pushing back the curtain. You walked through the halls in search of the tan-skinned man you came in with, avoiding looking anywhere but ahead of you.
Hospitals were unpredictacle.
You didn't like that.
You turned a corner, and as if you just had good luck, Derek was there, already walking your way. 
He raised a brow at you. "You all good, angel?" 
You fell into step beside him, letting him lead the way to wherever you were going and flashing him a flirtatious smile. "Never been better, muscles." It wasn't a total lie; the pain had mostly subsided, and you'd felt worse in your life.
Morgan didn't bat an eyelash. "Well, that's good because we need to get moving. The team's on the way."
At the mention of the BAU, your thoughts were re-directed. Without stopping, you glanced over at Derek and gave him a quick once-over. He seemed normal: he was flirting with you, no signs of dejection. So Hotch must've been alright. Still, though, you felt compelled to ask, "Hotchner and Joyner. Are they okay?"
If Derek noticed the small blip in your voice, he didn't say anything. You weren't sure if you even noticed it, either. "Hotch is fine, back to barking orders and being a drill sergeant. Kate's in surgery, though."
You couldn't explain the wave of calm that came over you at that moment. You couldn't explain why you even cared.
But you did.
You nodded in response and changed subjects. "Has anything happened since the first blast?"
"No. Nothing."
An exasperated sigh left you. "That doesn't make any sense. Something should've happened by now." You ran a hand through your hair, your gears turning. "I mean, why go through all this trouble just to hit a single SUV with a few agents? Why not wait until we were in our cars?"
"I don't know," he replied. "What I'm still stuck on is why the kid would stay knowing we'd figure him out."
"Yeah, why would he stay—" suddenly, you halted in your tracks, cutting yourself off as memories rushed to the forefront of your brain.
[Thank you for your input, Ms. Y/L/N. The Secretary of Defense is unavailable at the moment, so the Deputy Secretary will be fielding all defense matters for the moment. She happens to be in town, and she'd like to be briefed in person, if that's alright.]
Yes, I can do that. Just send me an address.
Then you heard the voices of Secret Service agents in your head: I'm sorry, but this hospital is on strict bypass.
"What? What is it?" Derek's voice shook you out of your reverie. You looked up to see him standing in front of you, a worried expression on his face. You would've laughed if it weren't so serious. He probably thought you had a concussion—and while you didn't, what you were going to say was worse than that.
"Derek," you started.
Your tone must've scared him because he stepped closer. "What?"
You paused, mulling over the details in your head. Secret Service was here. Someone important was in the building, someone like the Secretary of Defense. And that bomber just so happened to stick around until an ambulance showed up, taking Hotch and Kate straight here. 
Sam didn't wait until you were cars, and that wasn't a careless mistake. It wasn't because he was so excited that he couldn't wait. It was because that blast wasn't meant to kill you, not on impact.
It was meant to take you here.
When you made up your mind, you took a step closer to him and lowered your voice, not wanting to attract panic in spite of the fact that it'd happen, anyway. Your voice was rigid.
"I think there's a bomb in this hospital."
After quickly explaining your theory to Derek, you parted ways; he went to go find the team while you took off to find the head of that Secret Service detail.
Any uneasiness you felt being in this hospital increased a tenfold, no longer because of the fact that it was a hospital but because it could blow any minute now. You knew you weren't scared, though—and maybe you should've been, but this was the job.
You found the SS soon enough, calling out to them, "Hey, men in black!"
Your volume turned heads, including theirs. The bald man stood up from where he was leaned over on a counter and greeted you first, leading you to believe he was in charge. "Ms. Y/L/N." So he knew who you were. That made this a lot easier.
You didn't waste any time. "The Secretary of Defense is in this hospital, isn't he?"
"Ma'am, I know you're high up on the ladder, but—"
You cut him off briskly, "There is a bomb in this building, and it's rigged to assassinate the Secretary." 
The agent whose name you didn't ask for stiffened but adapted quickly, ordering the agents behind him to hit the alarms all without looking away from you. "Where is it?" he then questioned.
"The ambulance my colleague drove in, I believe." The word colleague tasted wrong on your tongue, but you didn't have the time to dwell on it. "Is it already in the basement?"
"Yes."
"Okay, then you need to evac the building. You need to get the Secretary and everybody else out of here right now."
"We can't do that," he answered. "He's undergoing surgery as we speak."
You were sure that the next words to leave your mouth would be curses, but before you could even get them out, a band of rushed footsteps became audible from behind you. It didn't take you long to recognize who they belonged to.
The footsteps stopped where you were. You glanced to see the team surrounding you, Derek on your left and Hotch on your right. So he was alright. You held back a sigh of relief and kept your eyes off him, directing all your focus to the task at hand. 
Silently, Morgan handed you a Kevlar vest. You nodded to him in thanks and put it on while Hotch hurriedly interrogated, "The paramedic I came in with—do you have eyes on him?"
The Secret Service Agent briefly glanced at you, to which you nodded, prompting him to turn over a computer playing a live feed. 
"Is that a cell in his hands?"
Rossi pressed onto a mic on his chest. "Garcia, can you remote access the grid I'm in and jam all the frequencies?" She said something you couldn't hear and then he added, tone clipped, "There's a bomb in the basement of this building."
Garcia worked quickly, disrupting the satellite feeds in your location within seconds. You could tell she did this by paramedic's actions on the screen. "Look. He's coming back," Prentiss said. "He's going to detonate the bomb manually if he has to."
"Where did Morgan go?" At Hotch's abrupt words, you turned to your left but Derek was no longer there. He'd snuck off while you were paying attention to the feed, and you had no doubt as to where. 
His appearance on the computer screen confirmed your suspicions. You sighed, before tiredly voicing, "He went to find the ambulance."
Hotch's voice was incredulous. "Alone?"
Rossi didn't share Hotch's surprise. "Let's head down."
You were off before he even finished the sentence, trusting the Secret Service agents to do their jobs well enough while you all did yours. You removed your gun from your holster, holding it up and jogging through the now empty hallways with tunnel vision.
You barely noticed the others behind you until Hotch somehow got ahead of you. "He's going to the basement," he called out.
You think it was Emily that replied. "Stairs."
You pushed the door to the stairwell open and Hotch entered quickly, scanning the area with his gun as he moved. It was eerily silent, the only sound being the alarms in the distance and your footsteps rapidly hitting the stairs as you took them two at a time. 
None of you said a word.
By the time you reached the basement, the alarm was non-existent. Your loud footsteps became quieted, soundless with the precision only people like you could have. You could hear a pin drop. 
At the end of the hallway, you wordlessly split into two groups: you with Hotch and Rossi, and Prentiss with Reid.
Hotch led the way while you and Rossi covered him. Your bomber was sitting criss-crossed against the netted gate, gun tossed on the ground with a cellphone in one hand and a knife in the other. Fuck.
You could only pray that Morgan got out before that signal came back online.
You had your gun in the air, even though you knew what was gonna happen. You all did.
Rossi's voice cut through the air. "FBI."
The bomber didn't flinch, staring at the ground with a lifeless look in his eyes. He was a dead man. 
He raised the knife to his neck—and if you weren't with FBI agents right now, you would've shot his shaking hand and knocked that knife straight to the ground. You would've forced him to take accountability—perhaps not in a courtroom, but in a place that would still enforce a semblance of justice.
But you were with FBI agents. And Hotch reminded you of this as he spoke up, "Put it down. It's over."
Yes, it was. Because the coward slit his throat thereafter, and the knife clattered to the ground.
Slowly, you lowered your guns. You holstered yours, and then you were walking away. You didn't spare the body another glance. It wasn't a life lost.
Either way, he would've died. It just shouldn't have been on his terms.
Emily was behind you. She flipped her phone open and then you heard a sigh of relief. "Garcia just messaged me," she told you. "Morgan's okay."
Spencer and Rossi let out their own sighs while you muttered a small "Thank God" under your breath. You hadn't known Derek Morgan for long, but he was good, and he felt like a friend.
You didn't have many of those.
You got back to the floor you were on in little time, and everyone parted ways, likely going to rest. The night was over—this was over. You, on the other hand, still had some administrative work to do, starting with checking on the Secretary of Defense.
But before you did anything, you stood there. You stood there and watched the team trickle out of the area, everyone but Hotch. He was still down there.
You went to glance back to see if he was coming up but then thought better of it, choosing to walk away instead.
He's fine, you thought. He was fine.
And so were you.
You got off the phone with the DOD, your last in a long line of phone calls, telling them that the threat had been eliminated as far as you were concerned. You would've been out of that hospital ASAP, but they asked you to stay there until the new Secret Service detail arrived, and you couldn't really say no.
The lack of action suddenly made you more aware of your surroundings. Your senses returned to you; the smell of bleach became more pungent, and the fluorescent lights seemed to just bounce off the white tile.
With nothing else to focus on, the pain in your side returned, too, but you were good at handling pain. It hurt to breathe, but the alternative was relapsing, and you'd come too far for that.
Normally, when you were craving drugs or just stressed, you'd find a drink. It wasn't the best coping mechanism, but it worked. Alcohol wasn't strong enough to hook you; it was just enough to sate you, to take your mind off the pills.
However, you were in a hospital, and none of that was around. So you went looking for the next best thing: coffee.
You found a mini coffee bar in a nearby waiting room, right next to a vending machine. It was one of the automatic ones that took capsules. The selection was pretty shitty, but you weren't exactly expecting premium Italian coffee, so you plopped a pod into the machine, anyway.
You waited for your coffee to brew in silence, listening to the sound of the machine whirring. The PA dinged in the background and footsteps were muffled. You had a habit of listening for those, for footsteps. Most times, like now, if you weren't preoccupied, you could detect them right away.
You sensed Hotch when he was 5 feet away. You could recognize his footsteps so easily, but that was the habit.
You told yourself it was the job.
Without turning around, you quietly greeted, "Agent Hotchner."
He returned your greeting, grabbing a styrofoam cup and going to stand next to you. "Y/N." His voice was as saccharine as the sugar you poured into your coffee.
 You hated that, and you hated what it implied.
The case was over. The threat was defeated. And now you were alone together with a conversation unfinished, a conversation you'd much rather not have.
To think that, when you last saw Hotch in Virginia, you were all for the game, the chase. But now it felt like the roles were reversed. This was different. He shouldn't be talking to me.
But he was.
"Yo—"
You cut him off, "How's Kate?" Low blow, Y/N. The breath of air he sucked in made you look up from the creamer to his face. His eyes were no longer on you; they were on the machine as it poured his coffee, but you understood. You could taste apology on your lips before you even said the words. "I'm sorry."
Hotch nodded, grabbing his coffee from the tray when it was finished brewing. "She wasn't in pain," he said. That's all there was to say, really. She wasn't in pain when she died, nor was she in pain when you found her.
Kate Joyner was dead the second that blast hit.
But you spoke none of this. You went to grab your cup, intending to walk away, but Hotch stopped you, placing his hand on your arm before you could fully turn away. You stopped yourself from intaking a sharp breath.
"You're avoiding me."
He said it so plainly, like you were talking about a case or the weather, like this was normal, like the two of you didn't see each other every other year at most, like you weren't you and he wasn't him. It made you want to screw your eyes shut, but you didn't. As if to prove a point, you turned yourself toward him fully, facing him head on.
"I'm not."
"You are."
Your eyes narrowed. "I'm not an unsub, Hotchner. I'm not gonna fold to this interrogation tactic."
"I met you as an unsub," he retorted.
"But I wasn't." You let out a little scoff, half amused, half annoyed. "How would you know if I was avoiding you? You didn't know me then, and you don't know me now."
"But I want to."
Whatever reply you were expecting, it wasn't that. Your breath got caught in your throat. His voice was still so soft, a harsh contrast to the cuts littered across his face. He took a step closer to you. "I want to know you."
You blinked once in shock, almost like you were checking if you were hallucinating, but when your eyes opened, he was still there. When you blinked a second time, it was in realization.
He's just been told Kate's dead, and now whatever pain meds they gave him are kicking in.
Reality slapped you across the face. You took a step back, slowly shaking your head. "You don't want to know me, Hotchner."
He took another step forward. "I do."
Another step back. "You don't." You shook your head again, emphasizing your point. "You really don't."
"Y/N—"
The shrill sound of your ringtone cut him off, and you'd never been so grateful. You picked it up immediately. "Y/L/N." The lady on the other end got to it quick; all you had to do was agree. "Okay, I'll be there momentarily. Thanks."
You hung up your cell, snapping it shut. You gave Hotch a glance before you were looking away, letting your eyes wander everywhere else. "That was the DOD. Secret Service is here. I have to go check out with them." You didn't let him get a word in. "I'll see you around, Agent Hotchner."
And then, just like every other time Aaron Hotchner had ever been in your proximity, you were leaving. In his grasp one second, in the mist in the next.
He watched you walk away wordlessly, not knowing when he'd see you again, words he was going to say dying on his lips.
And then you were gone.
He let out a long sigh, and then looked to his coffee on the mini table, spotting a similar one right next to it. 
You left your coffee there, he realized.
With all the other things you left, too.
5. The gavel and the gun
Southbridge, Virginia, 2008
You didn't find yourself down in Virginia too often, not unless you were on business, but Derek assured you that tonight was about everything but that.
"I'm breaking you out of your shell, angel," he said, making a turn on Curtis Drive. "You need to get out more."
You snorted. "One, I don't have a shell. Two, I am literally out so much that my apartment collects dust, and three," you held up a third finger, despite his close attention to the road, "that's bullshit. You just want me to score you some hot chicks."
He let out a burly laugh, something you'd gotten used to after hanging out with him. "Baby, I don't need you to pick anyone up for me. I can do that all on my own."
"What, are you afraid that I'll steal all your girls, Morgan?"
His reply was swift. "Couldn't do that if you tried, Y/N/N. You're still hung up on Hotch."
Your jaw nearly fell, but you were used to this banter you had. You quipped back, "Please, the only one hung up on anyone here is you. You want Garcia."
He choked on his own spit, making you throw your head back and laugh. He didn't see that one coming.
You caught onto Derek's feelings for Garcia early on, but they became especially prominent when he was buzzed one night and told you she was the one on call with him when he drove that ambulance into the field.
That was six months ago. And now, you were in Derek Morgan's car, trying to coax him into asking out a woman with whom he violated many HR regulations.
Derek clearly didn't have a response which only made you laugh harder. You patted his back while he recovered. "Caaaaareful, muscles. I don't want to die on my way to a bar. I'm literally in the CIA—that would be so heavily anti-climactic."
The only thing he heard in that sentence was his nickname, snapping out of his stupor. "Okay, this 'muscles' thing is starting to feel less like a compliment and more condescending." 
You huffed out a little chuckle as he put the car in park. "And 'angel' isn't?"
He furrowed his brows, opening his door. "You love that name."
You copied his movements, getting out of the car before pointedly looking at him. "Yeah, when the words 'of death' follow it."
He snorted. "Cryptic." He held his arm out for you, to which you obliged, wrapping yours in his before walking into the estabishment with him.
You would've responded and teased him further had you not been cut off by an oddly familiar voice. "Morgan!" Your head snapped to a table where not only the object of your teasing stood, but all of their crime-fighting friends. From afar, you watched Penelope's eyes widen behind her glasses. Then she squealed, "And Y/N!" 
To her credit, she did look just the slightest bit embarrassed when people turned to stare at her.
She still wasn't used to you. And God, was that comical.
A smirk crawled onto your face as you walked to their table, glancing at Derek and recalling your earlier quip. "Ooh, careful, Morgan. Your girl's a fan. I might just take her."
For a guy that nearly died in the car at the mention of her, he didn't seem all that startled. In fact, a smirk of his own graced his face. "I doubt you'll be focused on Penelope tonight, angel."
Your brows pinched together, but before you could question what he meant, you reached the table. JJ and Emily greeted you with wide smiles, the latter pulling you in for a hug that was surprising but not unwelcome. Garcia followed right behind her, hesitantly wrapping her arms around you. You cleared this hesitancy by embracing her tightly. Goodness, she's precious.
Over her shoulder, you mouthed to Morgan, Don't fuck it up.
When you let her go, Rossi tipped his glass at you while Reid just gave you an awkward wave. For his benefit, you resisted the urge to laugh.
You spun back around to flash a smug smile at Morgan, eager for him to see that you weren't fazed by this little surprise he so clearly wanted to jar you with, but then your eyes locked with a darker pair and you realized, oh. They weren't the surprise.
He was.
"Y/N."
What was this feeling? Winded? Was it— breathless? You couldn't describe it; you'd only felt it a few times in life, and you didn't know why you felt it right now. Eventually, you realized you had to answer. 
"Hotchner."
You were going to fucking strangle Derek Morgan.
If it wasn't considered rude and you weren't surrounded by a horde of profilers, you would've been texting Derek furiously. It didn't help that the only spot left at the table was next to the man you'd be texting about.
Derek was fun to party with—you went out with him all the time—but whenever he invited you out with the rest of the BAU, you politely declined and came up with whatever excuse was available. Clearly, he caught on to the reason.
You've been avoiding me.
And maybe that was true.
A gasp broke you out of your thoughts. You looked over to see Penelope jumping out of her seat. "Oh, my god, I love this song. Derek, get up right now, we're going to dance," she all but demanded.
It's then that you noticed that JJ and Emily had already beat them to the dance floor, and Spencer was being talked up by some girl at the bar. 
No— "Alright, alright, calm down, mama, I'm coming." You glared daggers at him as he flashed you a sly grin, then he wrapped an arm around Penelope and left. He left you alone with Hotch and Rossi.
At least Rossi's still here— "You know, I think I'm going to get another drink." You're kidding.
Apparently, he was not kidding. Rossi got up, and you could've sworn you saw him wink at Hotch before he left for the bar.
And then there were two.
Fuck.
Now that the others were all gone, you felt his proximity much more prominently. If you moved just the slightest bit, your knees would touch. You hated that the thought even crossed your mind.
But you couldn't leave. If you left, then it'd be obvious that you were, in fact, avoiding him, and you didn't want it to be obvious. It shouldn't have been obvious because there was nothing there to avoid; the two of you were nothing, so you had no reason to avoid him.
You were nothing.
Even if, for a second, you might've felt something.
"What's wrong?" His voice cut into the tension like it was butter. But the question didn't sound like concern; if you didn't know any better, you'd say it was almost teasing. 
You finally looked at him, turning your head and realizing he was closer than you thought. Close enough to see the specks of green in his eyes and the locks of hair falling over his face. Close enough that you could push those locks back if you wanted to. And you wanted to. 
But you didn't.
You schooled your expression and raised a brow, causing him to elaborate, "You were much more flirtatious when we didn't know each other."
Of course, I was, is what you wanted to say. Of course, you were; that was before whatever happened in D.C., before you danced with him and before you let him down. Before reality came knocking and showed him that you were polar opposites, that he was a man of the gavel and you were a woman of the gun. Before he confronted you. Before he told you that he wanted to know you.
So, of course. Of course, I was. Because what the hell was I supposed to do with that?
That's what you wanted to say, but you didn't. Instead, you countered, "Why do you assume something's wrong? Maybe I've just lost interest in our game."
Hotch looked at you like he knew that was a load of bull. He looked you up and down like he could see right through you, and you hated that, because if he looked hard enough, he just might. You thought, for a second, he'd drop it, but then he came back harder. "Is that because you're not winning?"
Taken aback, you laughed to hide how astounded you were, looking away as you deflected, "You must've been one hell of a lawyer, Agent Hotchner." 
He let you re-route the conversation, humming. "I was good at my field," he admitted, pausing briefly. "I actually got my nickname while I was working at the DA's office, Hotch."
"Oh?" you uttered, disinterest shining through your voice that you hoped he'd pick up on.
"Yeah. And now it's what everybody calls me." Another pause. "Everybody but you."
You turned back to him. Clearly, that's what he wanted from you with that statement. He was looking at you expectantly, waiting on you for something—you just didn't know what. "You dwell on what I call you?"
He shrugged like he was unbothered. "It's just an observation. You refer to everyone using their first name, even Kate. At one point, I think you even said our names consecutively. Agent Hotchner and then Kate."
Shit, you didn't remember that, but he was probably right. It must've been a blip, you must not have been paying attention. Still, you shrugged right back at him. "I don't put that much thought into it."
He continued like you'd never said anything. "You said my name after the blast." You stiffened. "Repeatedly. And then, once we were in the hospital, you were back to formality."
You forced a smile onto your face in attempts to mask the discomfort. "So?" you said. Like you weren't affected. Like you weren't surprised that he noticed or equally surprised that he was calling you out on it.
"So," he repeated. "What's holding you back from saying my name?"
Damnit, he had you. He had you, and he knew it. You knew he knew it based on the fire in his eyes, fire with intent to burn.
But you had more. 
You had walked through fire; you were forged in fire, so this was a challenge you'd accept.
You leaned in closer, just until your mouth was next to his ear. He inhaled sharply. Good. Slowly, you breathed, "What's in a name... Hotchner?"
When you leaned back, you were met with a thrown-off-Hotch, but you didn't stick around to savour the image. You hopped off your barstool and left the table, opting to go dance with Emily and JJ as opposed to let him have the last word.
If you had it your way, he wouldn't get another word in for the rest of the night.
If only you could always have it your way.
You danced with the girls the rest of the night, Hotch forgotten. The others were elsewhere, off on their own. They were good company, and it was nice to hang out with other women. Eventually, the dancing wore them out and they decided it was time to head out, making sure to exchange numbers with you and add you to their group chat before they bid you farewell.
Something told you they were a little more than friends, but you weren't sure if they even knew that.
Alone, you decided to get off the dance floor, making your way over to the bar to text Derek. It was getting late; the bar would close soon, and you wanted to head home. But when you opened your phone, you already had a message from him—timestamped an hour ago. Furrowing your brows, you clicked on it.
Sorry, angel, but Pen opened a window for me and I had to take it.
If you know what I mean ;)
Please don't kill me. I'll send a car for you when you're ready.
Audibly, you groaned, closing your eyes in exhaustion. Of course, he shot his shot with Garcia on the night he's meant to drive you home. And you couldn't even be that mad about it. 
You sighed, accepting it and going to open your Uber app when a voice queried from behind you, "Are you alright?"
Fuckkkkkk, you were really hoping he left by now. Reluctantly, you turned around, facing Hotch. "Yeah, Derek was my ride home, but he um," you paused, wiping a hand across your face, "he got lucky."
"With Garcia?"
You laughed at how transparent it was and how quick he, their boss, was to get it. "Yeah, so I'm just gonna catch an Uber home."
"Don't be ridiculous; I'll drive you home." You were shocked at how quickly he shot you down, looking up at him to see he was being totally serious.
"No, you are being ridiculous. I live all the way in Washington."
He shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing, like you were friends and his offer was normal. "I live in Arlington—it's not out of the way. Besides, would you rather pay for an hour-long car ride or have me drive you for free?" 
Honestly, you'd rather do many things besides let Hotch drive you home for an hour, so you excused, "I'm good for the money."
He rolled his eyes. "It's 1AM, Y/N; I'm not gonna let you take an Uber home." He nodded to the exit. "Come on, let's go."
Now you rolled your eyes. He'd made up his mind, despite your disapproval. Yet you still glanced down at your phone, debating it. You supposed that he was better than a total stranger, and it was only an hour.
Maybe you were tired and your judgement was impaired, but for some reason, you obliged. "Fine."
You didn't know if it was a trick of light, but for a second there, it looked like Hotch's lips quirked upward.
For a second.
The car ride was silent if not for the music drumming lowly in the background. You didn't crack any jokes or say anything playful or innapropriate; you were a silence filler, you hated silence, but you'd rather sit in silence than talk to Aaron Hotchner any longer than you had to.
His presence was already pushing it.
If Hotch noticed how quiet you were, which he likely did, then he didn't comment on it. You were sure that he was profiling you silently, though, the same way you were silently profiling him.
He wasn't driving his official government vehicle, but it was still a black SUV. Not a Tahoe, though; it was an Escalade. It wasn't too proud or boastful but it wasn't too unassuming, either. Expensive but not too much of a head-turner.
A glance to the back displayed a car seat. You suspected that his son was with his ex-wife, since he was here at one in the morning and not at home. He was a stable father, and you could tell.
You knew what instability looked like.
The CD he had in when you got into the car was the White Album, Beatles. That, you could've guessed easily. It fit.
The car was clean. It smelled like peppermint and his cologne. If you opened the glove box, you'd probably find a gun. He carried two on his person while working, so he probably had one in here and then another at his place.
Prepared.
But what neither of you were prepared for was the sudden downpour of rain.
Hotch turned on his windshield wipers, then you saw a flash of white followed by a loud clap of thunder. He cursed under his breath, and you then cursed yourself for finding it attractive. "It's a storm."
"I can see that."
He ignored your quip. "Well, we're already in Arlington. My apartment is two minutes away—we could stop there until it's clear."
You held back a sigh. Regardless of your feelings, it was unsafe to drive in this weather. That's why you agreed. "Okay."
He wasn't lying about being two minutes away. With in no time, you were in front of his complex. Running inside barely did anything; you were drenched after being outside for maybe ten seconds.
The thunder was loud and continuous; the only place you didn't hear it was in the elevator. Then it returned once you were out, walking through the halls to his apartment.
You were on your phone while he unlocked the door, checking the weather app. This time you couldn't repress the sigh that left you. "Forecast says this storm's going all night."
"Oh." He opened the door, holding it open for you. "Well, you can stay the night." What? "I'll drive you home first thing in the morning."
"Um—"
He gestured to his living room, suggesting, "I'll take the couch. You can have the bed." Well, it wasn't really a suggestion, and you didn't have much of a choice, either.
So you nodded. He said something about going to change and fetch you clothes, and then you were alone in Aaron Hotchner's foyer.
You. In his apartment.
You thought back to when you met him, in an interrogation room as he accused you of being a serial killer. And you were a killer, just not that kind. Yet, now, he willingly had you, a gun for the government, in his apartment. This was the same Aaron Hotchner who prosecuted criminals, who hunted down evil, and believed in justice and court of law. The same Aaron Hotchner who frowned upon your unseriousness and grey morals. And he was also the same Aaron Hotchner that stood next to you in a hospital waiting room and told you he wanted to know you.
God, it was ironic. Him wanting to know you. You didn't know if he understood what that meant, what that entailed. 
He was the gavel, and you were the gun.
And that was that.
He walked back into the room after a good three minutes, changed into attire more informal than you'd ever seen him. He wore a button-down and jeans to the bar, but you didn't imagine you'd ever see him in sweats.
"Bathroom's on the left," he told you, pointing to it. "Feel free to use the shower. I left some clothes on the bed for you, and if you need anything, I'll be out here."
You nodded, saying a quiet "thanks" before you walked past him to his room. You'd skip the shower; you didn't have any underwear for that.
Closing the door, you took a moment to scan his room. Bed in the middle, navy blue sheets. Window facing the door, dark red curtains covering them. There was a closet to the side, likely filled with suits, then a dresser across from the bed for ties and everything else.
There were two nightstands on either side of the bed, a frame on one. When you got closer, you saw it was a picture of a little boy with a grin so wide that it brought a smile to your face. 
On the bed, Hotch left you a pair of grey jogging pants and a worn blue hoodie with George Washington University painted on in chipped white in the middle. You changed out of your wet dress, and all hesitation for wearing Hotch's clothes went out the door the second you put on his hoodie.
The sweatpants were just as comfortable, despite having to pull the drawstrings immensely far. You could fall asleep like this no problem, but then just as you went for the bed, the light cut out, drowning you in darkness.
You're kidding me.
There was a knock on the bedroom door soon after. You weren't sure if you could find it without stumbling or knocking something over, so you just shouted, "Come in."
Hotch's head poked in, illuminating the room with the flashlight on his phone. "It's the whole neighbourhood. Do you want a candle?"
Yes, I do. You had a thing about sleeping in the dark, but like hell if you were gonna tell him that. A CIA agent, afraid of the��dark—you weren't telling anybody that. "No, I'm good, but um," why am I stammering? "Could I get some water, please?"
"Yes, of course." Hotch was quick to leave the room for what you requested, and you were quick to follow him. He was the one with the flashlight.
His kitchen was barely visible, but you caught a glimpse of a few drawings on the fridge. When he lit a candle and placed it on the counter, you saw the the drawings were finger paintings, one of a whole child's hand. Again, you couldn't stop the corners of your lips from curving upwards.
Aaron Hotchner. You'd seen the prosecutor, the profiler, the unit chief, and now the father.
"Here." Hotch's voice cut through your thoughts as he handed you a glass of water. You didn't even hear when he turned the tap on.
You wordlessly took the water, thanking him with a nod. He stood there as you took a sip, watching you with a gaze that felt scrutinizing but probably wasn't. He was good at hiding what he was thinking, but you could still tell that he was thinking, nonetheless.
In a split-second decision, you lost the battle with yourself not to engage in conversation. "What? Did you poison this?"
He ignored you, like always, and questioned, "Are you afraid of the dark?"
You just barely stopped yourself from choking, masking your cough with a chuckle. "What?" How the fuck did he guess that?
Vaguely, he added, "You seem like the type."
"Oh, 'I seem like the type?'" you echoed. "Is that your normal-person way of saying 'it fits with my profile?'"
He shrugged. "More or less."
Another chuckle left you, this time unforced. You were wondering if he was drinking before you and Derek showed up. This confidence and nonchalance was new, but amusing. Maybe you had one too many drinks, too, or maybe something about this version of Aaron was drawing you in, but you indulged him. "Okay, Hotchner. Give me my profile."
He paused, looking at you like he was debating if you really meant it but you saw the moment he made up his mind, decision flashing through his eyes. He gave you a once-over, but not because he needed to; you had a feeling this profile had been brewing for a while now.
"You're a control freak," he started. "This doesn't just shine through in your work—it also appears in your day-to-day life, like your overwhelming need to fill silence or dislike for the dark. This comes from a period of your life when you weren't in control, and now you have to control every situation you encounter. You come off as easygoing, but in reality, you're closed off. You hide behind jokes and arrogance because you don't want people to know the real you, but every once in a while, she reveals herself. She cares, but you can't have that be used against you, so you pretend you don't. You don't have many friends because that opens doors, and you are afraid of what is behind them. That is why, even as you stand in my kitchen, wearing my clothes, you still refuse to say my name. It's a defense mechanism, a way for you to create distance because, as much as you deny it, you feel something."
Somewhere in his explanation, he got closer to you. He never broke eye contact, not once. He stared at you like you were a puzzle he was waiting to solve, and he had too many pieces. You suddenly wished you'd never asked.
You intook a deep breath. "Ho—"
He cut you off, voice now just above a whisper. "What are you hiding from, Y/N?"
What am I hiding from?
Your eyes involuntarily darted down to his lips, and he caught it. He took another step closer, and you let him. What am I hiding from?
Your breath was shaky as Hotch leaned down, resting his forehead against yours. One movement and your lips would touch. You wondered what it'd feel like. To kiss him. To stop hiding. 
What are you hiding from, Y/N?
You leaned in, and then just before your lips met his, the lights turned back on.
Just like that, you pulled away, the sound of your racing heart concealed by the sound of the heater kicking back on. "I should— I should get back to bed now." You kept your eyes on the tile.
"Y/N—"
"Um, thank you for the water—"
"Y/N."
Finally, you looked up at him, concern and confusion swimming in his eyes, and you understood it. One second, you were on the verge of kissing, and now you were on the verge of tears. You didn't understand it, either.
But this, whatever it was, it couldn't happen. This was a lapse of your judgement. He was Aaron Hotchner, the prosecutor, the profiler, the unit chief, and the father: the gavel. You were Y/N Y/L/N, the hacker, the director, the addict, and the killer: the gun. 
This wasn't gonna happen.
So you loaded a round into the chamber, put your finger on the trigger, and took the safety off. Then you aimed it at yourself and fired, "You're a good man, Aaron." Too good for me.
You think he was too shocked by his own name, and that's why he let you walk away.
And as you closed his bedroom door, you had a feeling that it wasn't the only door you just closed.
6. A lie is the truth (link)
taglist: @flow33didontsmoke
extra a/n: guys i'm so mad ab this block limit and how this can't be one part but wtv!!
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forhappysake · 11 months ago
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imagining-in-the-margins · 4 months ago
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CM Friends-with-Benefits Challenge
The following are prompts including friends with benefits/situationships!
This event is over (Masterlist here!), but you are welcome to use any of these prompts. If you would like to be added to the existing Masterlist of entries, please check out the Rules below!
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🥰 Song Prompts 🥰
"Sex" by The 1975
"Too Sweet" by Hozier
"dress" by Taylor Swift
"august" by Taylor Swift
"Casual" by Chappell Roan
"Dinner & Diatribes" by Hozier
"Close to You" by Gracie Abrams
“Stuck in the Middle” by Tai Verdes
"Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell Roan
"I Wanna Be Yours" by Arctic Monkeys
“Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?” by Arctic Monkeys
💌 Dialogue Prompts 💌
“I’m just in it for the snacks.”
“No wonder you’re single…” (joking?)
“So... what’s the stance on cuddling?”
"You deserve something real. I want us to be real.”
“We’re just friends with benefits.” // “Right, and the benefit is being madly in love.” (sarcasm?)
“We’re… friends. With benefits.” // “Without sex? What’s the benefit?” // “My delightful company, asshole.”
"I'm your boyfriend without the benefits." // "Do you want the benefits?" // "Yes—No... I'm your fluffer!" ('New Girl')
“What is up with those two lately?” // “They’re sleeping together.” // “Yeah, right. Imagine… wait, seriously?”
General & NSFW Prompts Below!
🌹 General Prompts 🌹
Someone figures out the situation. A and B try to figure out how.
A is blindsided by jealousy when someone shows an interest in B.
A and B try to be normal so no one knows. Literally everyone knows.
A is so worried about B falling for them that A fails to realize A already fell for B.
A realizes they are happier with B than any actual significant other they’ve had.
A is totally B’s type, which has never worked out before. As a result, A keeps sabotaging things.
A agrees to a situationship with B because they think it's the only way they'll be able to have them.
A reaches out to B for a hookup but gets rejected, and they each struggle with their disappointment.
A is treating the arrangement like a formal business deal. B gets tired of it and shuts them up with a kiss.
A and B used to be friends with benefits. When they meet again later, the arrangement is still appealing.
A has to leave town for a long time. They have one last night with B but don’t tell them. They’re gone in the morning and leave B wondering what they wanted to say the night before.
Anything else you can think of!
💋 NSFW Prompts 💋
A completely defies B’s expectations of what they’re like in bed.
A and B decide to hook up one last time (or maybe not the last...)
A agreed to take B’s virginity as long as B didn’t catch feelings. It seems like B didn’t. A did, though.
A and B's no-judgment rule means they're finally comfortable to ask for what they've always wanted to try in bed.
A is annoyed with B, so they start loudly complaining/joking about their situationship. Angry/playful sex ensues.
A and B have never felt truly satisfied in bed until there were no strings attached... it definitely wasn't because of finding the right partner.
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Happy Writing!
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juniperskye · 4 months ago
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I choose you.
Sneak peek: After a one-night stand, you find yourself pregnant. You choose to take some time off to get your life in order (aka ready for a baby), when Hotch stops by to make sure you’re okay. You confide in him and after a late night of talking, and months of mutual pining, Hotch offers to help you raise the baby. With this newfound dynamic, how will Hotch handle you working in the field? How will your lives change?
Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader
Fluff/Angst
Word count: 7599 (OMFG sorry)
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited I've been working on this for so long...I did my best- please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! My blog is 18+, minors DNI, implied age gap (kinda?), secret relationship, mention of period and menstrual cycle, mention of doctors and hospitals, mention of typical pregnancy related care, secret pregnancy, mention of pregnancy, Hotch being a little smothering lol, mentions of canon typical violence, some language, team members meddling, mention of Jack, no mention of Hailey (she just doesn’t exist in this – Hotch  has always been a single dad), no use of y/n. I think that’s all, let me know if I missed any!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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“Hey, you’re looking a little green there sugar.” Morgan said, gently nudging your elbow.
“Yeah girl, keep it to your side!” Emily laughed, pushing your file further onto your desk.
“Alright, if I was contagious, don’t you think you’d all be sick by now? It has to be from something I ate…I guess it’s time to clean out the fridge.” Shaking your head you got back to work.
“You know the most common causes of nausea and vomiting are infections (like the stomach flu), food poisoning, motion sickness, pregnancy, and migraines. We can rule out the stomach flu given that none of us have gotten sick, and motion sickness since we haven’t travelled in a few days. I’d say food poisoning seems most likely, and it should pass soon given that it typically lasts anywhere from 12-48 hours.” Spencer rattled off.
“Thanks Spence.” You smiled.
Your mind began spiraling, this little bout of vomiting had been going on for far longer than 48 hours. Was it possible something at home was contaminated and you’d had “never-ending” food poisoning? You thought about the other conditions Spencer had mentioned, no to the stomach flu, no to motion sickness, probably not food poisoning. You had migraines, but definitely weren’t currently suffering from a spell…so that left. Nope. No way.
Could it be possible? When was your last period? Shit. You pulled out your phone and opened the Flo app and your last charted period was…EIGHT WEEKS AGO. What the fuck? How had you missed that?  After pondering for a few minutes, you realized that around that time, the team had a particularly tough case where children were being kidnapped from malls in Alabama. The case had a happy ending, but it had taken seven days for you to catch the guy.  You had chalked up the missed cycle to stress – it happened sometimes.
After excusing yourself, you made your way to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, you made two calls, one to your primary care physician, and then one to the OBGYN that they referred you to. Thankfully (pure luck truly) they had an opening tomorrow morning.
You quickly made your way to Hotch’s office to see if he would allow you to come in late tomorrow. He was usually understanding about these things since you guys really have to take any doctor’s appointments you can get with your ridiculous schedule.
You knocked on the door frame softly, taking note of his nod, granting permission to enter. You walked cautiously to his desk, trying to work out the phrasing of this request in your head.
“I can hear the gears turning in your head, what’s going on?” Hotch questioned.
“Sorry Hotch, I uh, I just have a quick question for you.” You began. “You see, I haven’t been feeling great the last few days, so I called my doctor, and they can squeeze me in tomorrow first thing. Would it be possible for me to come in late so I can make that appointment?”
“Is that all? Of course, just come in when you can.” He finally met your gaze, offering a subtle smile.
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**8 weeks pregnant**
You sat, bare legs causing the sterile paper beneath you to crinkle, the noise seemed to echo in the otherwise silent room. You had left a urine sample when you first arrived at the office, and they had just taken a blood sample. The nurse had asked you a million questions and you had to fill out nearly 20 different forms.
“Alright, so the urine test came back as positive for pregnancy.” The doctor informed you.
“Wow, um okay. So, what are the next steps?”
“Well, we are going to send your blood in to check your HCG levels amongst other things, that will give us a pretty good estimate as to how far along you are. We will give you a call when those results come in. I am going to send you home with some literature on what foods, medication, drinks, over all activities to avoid as well as some recommendations for prenatal vitamins and a prescription for some anti-nausea medication. There is also a card in there with the triage number in case of an emergency. So, what questions do you have for me?” The doctor concluded.
“I uh, when will I need to come back in? Also, I am a field agent with the FBI, I guess I’ll probably need a doctor’s note as proof of pregnancy, and then one later down the line I suppose, excusing me from duty.” You inquired.
“Once we get your HCG levels and can get a better idea of how far along you are, we will give you that call and then we will schedule your next appointment. Based on your last cycle, we will probably have you come back pretty soon for a transvaginal ultrasound and then your following appointment would be around your 12-week mark. As for work, I can get you that document now and then yes, as your pregnancy progresses we will discuss changes that will have to be made at work. Did you need a note for today?” She answered.
“Okay, that sounds good. And yeah, a note for today would be great. Thank you.”
Thoughts were racing through your head, the things you’d have to buy, getting your apartment prepared, telling the father (what was his name again…Michael? Brady? You’d have to figure that one out), telling your boss and the team, the changes to your body? Oh god, what have you gotten yourself into?
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The second you stepped off the elevator your stomach twisted, and you darted to the bathroom. After emptying the contents of your stomach, you rinsed your mouth out and made your leave. What you weren’t expecting was Hotch on the other side of the door.
“Oh, sorry Hotch.”
“No need to apologize, I just wanted to see that you were alright. JJ let me know she saw you running in here.” He explained.
“I-I’m not feeling too great honestly. Do you think, maybe, I could head home for the day?” you queried.
“I think that is a good idea, you should get some rest. You know, you have a bunch of time off saved up – I’m not telling you to use it, but if you wanted to, it’s there. Do you need a ride home?” He asked.
“No, I think I’m okay. And I also think I am going to take you up on that suggestion. Do you think I could take like the next four days?”
“Absolutely, I’ll submit your time. You head home and get some rest. I’ll let Garcia know, that way she won’t call you if a case comes in.” He said.
“Thanks Hotch.”
“You’re welcome. Do me a favor, let me know when you get home safe.” He requested.
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**9 weeks pregnant**
The next four days passed by in a blur, you had read through all the information the OBGYN sent you home with, you’d gone and picked up your medications from the pharmacy, cleaned your house, went grocery shopping, and you gotten your results back from the doctor. You had gotten the call yesterday that your HCG levels had placed you between 8 and 9 weeks pregnant and you had scheduled your ultrasound for the following Wednesday. You’d have to tell Hotch everything when you’re back at work tomorrow.
You also made a very awkward phone call to Jensen (damn, you were wayyy off) and he had been very pleased when you informed him that you didn’t want anything from him, he agreed that it would probably be best that way. You didn’t need to be tied to some one-off forever anyway, this was for the best. You just hoped your child wouldn’t resent you for not having a present father.
A knock at your door shook you from your thoughts. You checked your phone, 7:32 p.m. and a notification from Uber Eats that your tacos had been delivered! You paused your movie and shuffled to the door, checking the peephole once, then twice to confirm the identity of this visitor. You made quick work of unlocking and opening the door.
“Aaron? What are you doing here?”
“I came to see how you were feeling. I also ran into your delivery guy.” He explained.
“Come in, I ordered enough for two if you’re hungry?” You posed.
“I wouldn’t want to impose.” He shook his head.
“Not at all, come on in.”
You quickly realized that you were in sweats, a t-shirt, and slippers. You looked to Aaron taking note of his jeans and t-shirt. Casual looks good on him; you’d always thought so. You offered him a drink and invited him over to the couch, making yourselves comfortable and digging in. To the others, this may seem odd, a late-night taco date with your boss and your couch, but this was your normal.
You and Aaron had quickly realized your similarities when you first joined the team. You both had a stone exterior with a warm and fuzzy interior, you were closed off, but loyal and caring. These are the similarities that made your fast friendship so easy. The two of you hung out often, you had regular dinners together, went to movies or had movie nights, you went to the park with him and Jack, and sometimes…you even slept over. You didn’t share a bed or anything – except once when you first moved to your current apartment – your guest room hadn’t been set up yet. He was easily the person you were closest to, which is why it was terrifying to love him. You couldn’t lose him. So, you bottled up your feelings and enjoyed these moments with him.
“So, you’re feeling better then?”
You opened your mouth to reply when you felt it. That tightening lurch in your stomach. You brought your hand to cover your mouth and jumped up, desperate to get to your bathroom. You had barely made it before you were expelling your dinner into the porcelain bowl. You heaved until there was nothing left. It was only then that you felt the warmth of his hands brushing your hair back and rubbing circles over your spine. You slowly sat up and rested back against the bathtub, Aaron leaned against the counter.
“I guess it’s a good time to mention we have a mandated weekend off. I figured you were feeling better if you had ordered tacos.” Aaron teased.
“I was feeling better. And thank God. I could use the extra two days to get my shit together.” You laughed.
“What did the doctor say?” He questioned.
“Well, she uh…” You started.
“I shouldn’t have asked that, I’m sorry.” He apologized.
“No, Aaron it’s okay. I just – I found out that I’m pregnant.” You blurted.
“Oh, that’s – wow congrats. I didn’t realize you’d started seeing someone.” He muttered.
“Thanks, and I’m not. It was just some guy I met while we were in Alabama.” You grumbled.
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With Aaron’s assistance, you made your way back to the couch, not before quickly brushing your teeth. After he saw that you were settled, he went to the kitchen and grabbed your anti-nausea pills, some crackers and a ginger ale for you.
The two of you sat and talked for hours, you told him about your doctor’s appointment and the phone call with Jensen. You expressed your excitement and nervousness, both of which he met with reassurance. Aaron was quick to tell you he thought you’d make a great mother and that he, along with the rest of the BAU, would be there for you every step of the way.
The night continued on with the two of you curled up on the couch watching movies, Aaron refilling your ginger ale as needed throughout the evening. Your position had shifted slightly the longer you sat there, you had laid down, your head resting on a pillow against Aaron’s thigh, his hand delicately running through your hair. You turned your head to look up at him, the movement drawing his gaze to you.
“Can I tell you something?” You asked.
“Anything.” He whispered.
“I’m scared to do this alone. I don’t want the kid to grow up and hate me because they don’t have a dad. Plus, I always thought when I had kids, I’d be settled…ya know?” You spoke softly.
“You’re not alone in this.” He replied.
“I know Aaron, that’s not what I meant.” you sighed.
“I could do it.”
“What?” You sat up abruptly, turning to look him in the eyes.
“I could raise the baby with you, I mean if you want. I just, I always wanted a big family, and Jack has asked about having a sibling on more than one occasion, plus we’re close already…” He rambled.
“You would do that for me?” You gasped.
“Of course I would, I’d do anything for you.” He smiled softly.
“So how would this work?” You questioned.
“It’s late, why don’t we head to bed, and we can talk logistics in the morning.” He said, patting your knee.
“Okay.” You smiled.
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You woke up the next morning and had to remind yourself that last night was real, Aaron had in fact offered to raise your baby with you. You got out of bed and padded your way to the kitchen. Upon entering you were met with the sight of Aaron in his sweats and a T-shirt, gliding around your kitchen, making breakfast. This felt so domestic, and you couldn’t help the pain in your chest at the fact that this isn’t.
“Good morning!” You greeted.
“Good morning! How did you sleep?” He replied.
“I slept well thanks. You?”
“Pretty good actually. So, how are you feeling about my offer?” He queried.
“I’d like to take you up on it, as long as it’s still on the table. But I think we need to lay out some ground rules, or at least figure out how we would do this.” You explained.
“We’re doing this then! And I agree, we need to sort out all the details.” Aaron suggested.
Aaron and you talked about it a lot over the next few hours and had come to an agreement on nearly all subjects. Aaron would attend doctor’s appointments with you, the child would be raised by you and Aaron and for all intents and purposes, Aaron would be known as dad, when the kid is old enough, you agreed that honesty is crucial, and you’d explain that Aaron isn’t their biological dad. You had agreed on bringing the child up in a loving home and allowing your child to find their own way in religion and politics, neither of you fond of pushing either of those things on a kid. You had also agreed on the importance of education, family time, immunizations, etc.. There were a few things though, that you still weren’t sure of.
“So, Aaron, I guess I am just curious on how we would address a few things. Like with the team or anyone that asks – you’re the father? Or do we tell them there was a sperm donor? Are we honest about the situation? And what about us? Everyone is going to think we’re together. Also, the living situation, you mentioned you want to be around to help but going back and forth from my place to yours, it’s not fair to us or to Jack, what do we do?” You rattled on.
“Okay, slow down. I think with the team and family, we can tell them the truth…to anyone else, I’m the father. If that’s okay with you? For the living situation, I ugh well I was thinking, maybe we find a house? I know how crazy that sounds, but I would be closer to you to help out and Jack could be close to his sibling, at least for a while. It wouldn’t have to be permanent.” He let out a nervous chuckle. “As for us, I don’t want to complicate things sweetheart. I can’t say I’ve never thought about us…maybe we just take it day by day.” Aaron was trying to gauge your reaction.
“That all sounds perfect. We will take it day by day, see where this journey takes us.” You say, reaching to hold Aaron’s hand.
Aaron brings your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss to the back of it. You can’t help the heat that rises to your cheeks. His admission of thinking of the two of you as more than friends, lingers in your mind. You wondered how long he’d been thinking like that but figured you could ask him another time. The bubble you were currently in was far too precious to burst.
“So, should we start house hunting?”
Aaron chucked at your excitement and nodded happily.
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**15 weeks pregnant**
The two of you agreed to wait to tell the team, at least until you had settled into your roles as co-parents. You also wanted to wait until you had progressed further in your pregnancy before you shared the news with not only the team, but also Jack. You had expressed to Aaron that you were worried Jack wouldn’t take the news well and he had assured you that Jack would be thrilled with the prospect of having a sibling. Aaron had also informed you that Jack had asked if you could be his new mom once your friendship had grown.
Things had been going well, it had been almost two months since you guys had agreed to do this together and you couldn’t be happier. Aaron had gone to your appointments with you, and that’s where you were currently headed. You had your 15-week appointment today, you’d also be doing some tests to ensure the baby is healthy.
“Alright, did you guys want to find out the baby’s sex today?”
You looked over at Aaron, and he met you with a subtle nod of confirmation. You had discussed this on the way over today.
“Yes we would!”
“You are having a girl, congratulations!” The doctor smiled and made her leave.
Aaron was quick to lean down and embrace you. You were shedding tears of joy, beaming with excitement. He pressed a chaste kiss to your temple and pulled away.
“I wanted it to be a surprise, I scheduled a showing with our realtor. I think you’re really going to like this one!” Aaron gushed.
Aaron drove you over to the most adorable home, judging from the curb appeal, you were thinking his assumption was correct. He helped you out of the vehicle and led you into the home, your realtor was waiting for you just inside the foyer.
“Mr. and Mrs. Hotchner, welcome! Please take your time to look around, I will be in the kitchen if you need anything. Aaron, I am going to make a few calls and see what we’re looking at for this one.” Bradley informed.
The two of you agreed to act as a married couple when looking into homes, Aaron had suggested that newlyweds with a baby on the way might be more appealing to a seller. Though things between you definitely felt more like that was becoming your truth as opposed to this fantasy you’d act out when in the presence of Bradley.
Looking around, Aaron led you around the house, showing you each of the rooms on the first floor, then the second. You ended up in the master bedroom, making your way out on the balcony that overlooks the backyard.
“So, I was thinking, the two rooms downstairs, one would be my office, and the other could be a sort of den or library. Up here, Jack could have that first room, the second could be a nursery, and then the other two well they’d be ours, or one could be a guest room.” Aaron offered.
“If we made one a guest room, that would mean that we…we’d share this room? Aaron Hotchner are you suggesting that we share a room?” You teased.
“Maybe I am.” He declared.
You had been playing this game of cat and mouse for the last three weeks. It had started after you had kissed. It happened in the heat of the moment, the two of you were fighting over him subtly benching you from work, you had explained you were fine to which he admitted how important you were to him and that he couldn’t afford to lose you. Upon this revelation, you’d shared a passionate kiss. An action that you hadn’t discussed or repeated since then.
“Well, I think that could work.” You nudged him gently. “This house is perfect honey.”
“Should we go talk to Bradley?” He posed.
“I think so.”
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**17 weeks pregnant**
“Can you come to my office please?” Aaron asked.
Naturally this caught the attention of the team. You could tell they were growing suspicious of you and Aaron. They used to make jokes about you guys dating all the time with how close you were, but now, taking time off together to go to doctor’s appointments and hushed conversations in his office. You were sure the team thought you two were together. And now, you guessed they weren’t exactly wrong.
“They are totally dating.” Emily insisted.
“No doubt about it. Last week they left early together on Thursday. I guess Hotch called Rossi and told him they wouldn’t be back, and Rossi said he could hear them giggling. He used those exact words.” Morgan explained.
“Hotch, giggling? No way!” JJ chimed in.
“When do you think they’ll finally come clean?” Emily wondered.
“Whenever they are ready, and none of you are going to push the issue.” Rossi declared.
The others grumbled in defeat as they returned to their tasks. Meanwhile, Aaron was informing you that Bradley had left him a voicemail, asking that the two of you return the call when you could.
“Hey Aaron, thanks for getting back to me. Listen I have good news, your offer went through. You guys got the house! I’ll email over some paperwork, and we will talk next steps soon.” Bradley rushed.
“Thank you Bradley, we appreciate it.” Aaron replied before hanging up the phone.
You shared a look before a cheerful squeal escaped your lips. You jumped into Aaron’s arms, hugging him tightly. He was quick to return it, rocking you back and forth gently.
“We got the house! I can’t believe it!”
“We did sweetheart! Do you want to come for dinner tonight, we can talk to Jack?” Aaron offered.
“That sounds great.”
You made your way back to your desk and caught the tail end of your team’s conversation. They had clearly been speculating about the nature of your relationship with Aaron, and after that little display in his office, you couldn’t blame them. You’d have to bring that up tonight, maybe it was time to come clean.
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You were currently cooking dinner while Aaron helped Jack with his homework at the dining table. If this is the life you had to look forward to, you’d be a happy girl. You never felt more at home than when in the presence of the Hotchner boys. You finished up dinner and sent the boys to wash up while you set the table, they returned swiftly and the three of you began eating.
“Jack, bud, we have something we want to talk to you about.” Aaron began. “It’s pretty important and I’d really like you to let me tell you everything before you respond okay?”
“Okay.” Jack nodded, mouth full.
“You know how I’m having a baby right?” You gave him a moment to nod in reply.
“Well, that baby is going to be your little sister.” Aaron explained. “We are going to have this baby, and we’re all going to live together, in a new house. You’ll still go to the same school, but we will live in a house, all together instead of in the apartment.” Aaron concluded.
Jack’s eyes grew wide at the mass of information he’d just received. He glanced from you to Aaron and back to you once more. His mouth fell open, and he took a deep breath before speaking.
“So, does that mean you’re going to be my mom finally? Are you guys getting married? What does the house look like? Will I have to share a room with the baby? And where did the baby come from?” Jack rattled off.
“Oh, well sweetie this doesn’t necessarily mean…”
“Bud, go put your dish in the sink and change into your pjs. When you come back we will answer all of your questions.” Aaron instructed.
Jack shrugged and went first to the kitchen, then shuffled down the hall to change. Aaron knew it would take him a little bit, and he’d likely get distracted before returning, which meant he could talk to you about the first two of Jack’s questions.
“Sweetheart, if I am going to be the father of this baby, would you maybe consider being a mother to Jack? I know it is a lot, but with us living together and raising the baby together, it might make sense for me to formally adopt the baby and you to adopt Jack. That way we really could be a family. If anything happened to me, I would at least know that he’d have someone. He loves you so much and I love you, it just feels right, him wanting to call you mom.” Aaron blurted.
“Y – you love me?” You gasped.
Aaron blushed, having realized his slip up. “I do.”
“I love you too Aaron. And I would love for Jack to consider me his mom, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about us all being a real family like that. As for the adoption, that sounds perfect, I’d have to call Jensen and judging how our first conversation went, it should be a non-issue.” You noted.
“We would just have to get the papers drawn up for you to adopt Jack, his mother signed away her rights when she left us.” Aaron stated.
You looked at him with a saddened expression. The thought of leaving Aaron and Jack breaks your heart, you can’t imagine how she did it so effortlessly. Aaron could see the hurt behind your gaze, and he brought his hand up to caress your cheek, drawing a heat with it.
“Can we go back to a few minutes ago when we both said “I love you” for the first time” Aaron chuckled.
You let out a giggle and nodded, leaning in to meet him halfway for a passionate kiss. The two of you have kissed before, but never like this. Kissing someone who you love and that loves you in return, well that is pure bliss.
“Eww!” Jack shrieks, covering his eyes.
The two of you share a laugh and pull away. Aaron begins clearing the table while you go to get Jack.
“Eww? Eww? Come here buddy! Let me give you a big smooch!” You laughed reaching for Jack.
His laughs rang through the apartment as you jokingly chased him around the living room. When you finally caught up to him, you wrapped your arms around him a pressed a dramatically loud kiss to his cheek. Jack feigned disgust and wiped his cheek off as Aaron entered the room, joining the two of you on the couch with a big smile on his face.
“Alright buddy, I want to answer some of your questions okay?”
“Okay dad.”
“So, let’s start with the house, you are going to have your own room. The house is big with a yard that we can practice soccer in and a pool for us to swim! You will get to see the house soon; we are going to move in just a few weeks.” Aaron explained.
“As for me bud, if you want to call me mom you absolutely can. We aren’t getting married just yet, but we are a family sweetie.” You gently ruffle his hair.
“Okay mom, but you didn’t answer my last question! Where do babies come from?”
Your heart soared at the name, but both you and Aaron choked at his question.
“Uh, we will talk about that when you’re a little older. Go get ready for bed.”
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**26 weeks pregnant**
You were nearing week 26 of your pregnancy and you knew, beyond a doubt, that the entire team knew you were pregnant, you hadn’t really been hiding it other than some loose-fitting tops. None of them said anything, but they were all doing everything in their power to make sure you were comfortable, safe, and feeling well in the office and even more so in the field. 
On your last case, the whole team worked to keep you stuck in the local precinct as to avoid any potential harm. You knew they were just being protective, but your doctor said you were fine to continue field work for at least a few more weeks. You wanted to work while you still could, and you decided to talk to Aaron about finally coming clean to the team.
“Hey, can I talk to you really quick?” You asked, entering his office.
“Am I talking to you as your boss or as your significant other?” He questions.
“Both I guess? Aaron, I think we need to tell the team. They already know I’m pregnant, that I am sure of. But they are acting like I am made of glass, and I would really like to keep working while I still can.” You declared.
“Sweetheart I can’t say I am particularly upset about everyone being extra cautious for you. I want you safe, and they do too. But if you’re ready to tell them, then let’s tell them.” He admitted.
Aaron called the team to the round table so the two of you could come clean about everything. In the last 18 weeks, your lives had drastically changed for the better, and they’d only continue to do so, so it was only right that you have your BAU family involved and around for the joy to come.
“I called you all in here because we have some news we’d like to share with you all.” Aaron said, placing his hand on your shoulder.
You smiled up at him before continuing. “I am pregnant, as you all already seem to know…but that’s not all.” You and Aaron told the team about your relationship, the pregnancy and how it came to be, Aaron stepping in and being the father, the new house and how you moved in together, you told them everything.
The team met you with shocked expressions, before they bombarded you with congratulations, embraces, and some questions. They asked about Jack and his reaction, they asked about the baby’s biological father, and they asked if an engagement was coming soon.
You had explained that the adoption process had already begun for Aaron and the baby, that Jensen was more than willing to waive his parental rights. You’d also told them how Jack started calling you mom and you were planning to ask him if you could adopt him officially in a few weeks and Aaron said an engagement would occur soon enough as long as you’d have him.
To close out your family meeting, you’d politely asked everyone to remember that you were pregnant, not incompetent, and you would appreciate it if they would let you work like normal (mostly) for the last few weeks you’d be able to. They agreed with some apprehension as long as you’d be careful and let the others lead.
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**33 weeks pregnant**
The team had travelled to Colorado for a case, you knew that this would be one of the last times you’d get to travel with the team, so you were going to give this case your all.
For the last month, Aaron had definitely broken his promise and was keeping you on a tight leash. You knew he was only protecting you, but you wanted to do your job. You were damn good at it, and you weren’t going to let anyone tell you otherwise.
“Alright, you are going to stay here and work on the geographical profile with Reid, and I am, going to the latest crime scene with Morgan.” Aaron stated.
“I’d like to go with Morgan actually. I think that my skills would be better suited that way.” You disputed, sending a glare Aaron’s way.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea…” Aaron started.
“Hotch. Let me do my job.”
“Okay go. Be careful, please.” Aaron pleaded.
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Morgan drove you to the latest crime scene and you both looked around observing all of the evidence markers and trying to gather as much information as you could. The two of you were bouncing ideas off of one another when glass breaking sounded downstairs.
Morgan brought a finger to his lips signaling to be silent. You both raised your weapons and made your way to the landing. Morgan leaned around the corner to see if he could catch a glimpse of the intruder from the top of the stairs. When it came up empty, he motioned that he was going downstairs, silently telling you he’d let you know when it was safe to follow.
You didn’t move until Morgan signaled for you to do so. When he did, you carefully made your way downstairs. He went left and you went right, making your way through the first level of the home you noticed a broken lamp next to an open window in the living room.  Before you had a chance to react, a man grabbed you from behind, his arm wrapping around your throat and his gun pressed to your temple.
“Call out to your partner.” He hissed, pressing the gun further into your skin.
“Morgan, in the living room!” You called.
“Did you find someth-” Morgan trailed off, seeing the unsub holding you. “Woah, okay. We don’t want any trouble okay. You can let her go. We can get you whatever you want man.” Morgan offered.
“DON’T TRY TO PLAY GAMES WITH ME!” The unsub bellowed.
“We’re not – trying to play games with you. We just want everyone to leave here unharmed.” You tried to console the unsub.
“NO! LOOK AT HIM! HE’S GONNA TRY AND SHOOT ME THE SECOND I LET YOU GO! I’M NOT FUCKING STUPID!” The unsub cried.
You could tell he was devolving; he was young, intimidated and sick of being pushed around by men in positions of power. Most notably, his father.
“You’re right. He probably will try and shoot. He’s cocky like that. Always walking around like he’s a gift from God himself. Barking orders at his subordinates and making passes at any female employee. It makes me sick.” You played into his delusions.
“He treats you like that?” The unsub wavered.
“He does. And I can’t stand it! I am sick of being treated like I’m less than. Like I’m not good enough to be here! I deserve more, you deserve more. We are strong and capable, and we should be treated as such.” You continued to work this unsub while Morgan slowly moved into position.
“You’re right! If you can see that, why couldn’t he? Why couldn’t he see that I am enough!” The unsub sobbed, his hands dropping to his sides.
Morgan swooped in and handcuffed him after gently grabbing his gun from his hand. The unsub sobbed quietly, realizing the error of his ways. You moved to sit in a nearby chair and Morgan pulled out his phone to call for backup.
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“Are you okay?” Aaron asked, rushing to your side. “This is exactly why I didn’t want you coming with Morgan.”
“Aaron, honey, I’m okay!” You reassured him.
“Hotch, your girl single handedly talked the guy off the ledge. She’s the reason we’re all safe.” Morgan explained.
Aaron looked at you once again. Taking in every part of your body to ensure you had no injuries. He gently takes your chin between his index finger and thumb to glance at your right temple, making a note of the slight bruise that’s developing there.
“I want you to get checked out before we go home.” Aaron informed.
“Okay.” You said, knowing arguing wouldn’t get you anywhere.
After spending far too long at the hospital, you were headed back to the hotel with a clean bill of health for both you and your baby girl. Aaron’s hands hadn’t left you since he’d rushed to your side at the crime scene. They were either holding your own, pressed to the small of your back, or resting on your leg. You knew he was just trying to ground himself in the fact that you were safe.
That night you and Aaron shared a conversation about you going on desk duty for the next few weeks, before your maternity leave started. He was a bit shocked that you didn’t fight him on it…not even a little bit.
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**39 weeks pregnant**
You had been on maternity leave for all of five days and you were already out of your mind. The only thing you were grateful for was the fact that you got to spend so much time with Jack.
Your adoption of him had been finalized two weeks ago and everything was done regarding Aaron adopting the baby. Now, you were just awaiting the arrival of your daughter. You were more than ready for her to be here and out of your body, and while the pregnancy hadn’t been particularly difficult, you were exhausted and bloated and just ready to be done.
You were in the kitchen making lunch for Jack and you while he played in the living room. He’d requested a grilled cheese sandwich with some tomato soup. You had just flipped the sandwich when a contraction hit. The pain washed over you, radiating down your spine and through your pelvis. You took a deep breath and check the time, they were about fifteen minutes apart right now, the contractions kept you up all night and had been consistent all day.
“Okay bud, lunch is served!” You set his food down in front of him on the coffee table.
“Thanks mom!” He smiled, taking a big bite of grilled cheese.
“You’re welco-” a sharp hiss escaped your mouth.
Checking the clock again you realize it’s only been about five minutes since the last one. You take a few deep breaths and look around for your phone, it might be time to text Aaron.
“Mom, are you okay?” Jack asked.
“Yeah bub I’m okay. I think your sister is getting ready to come.” You explained.
“Really? I can’t wait to meet her!” Jack cheered, resting one of his hands on your swollen belly.
“I can’t wait either. Jack, could you uh – could you go grab my phone hon?” You requested.
“Okay!” He wandered over to the kitchen to grab your phone.
You felt another contraction coming on and realized that they were coming one after another in shorter bursts of times. You needed to get to the hospital.
Jack returned from the kitchen with your phone and handed it to you. You were quick to dial Aaron’s number.  It rang three times before he picked up.
“Hey sweetheart. Is everything okay?” He questioned.
“Yeah honey, it – it’s time. She’s coming.”
“Now? How far apart are your contractions? Did your water break? Are you in pain? Should I call an ambulance to come and take you to the hospital?” Aaron rattled off question after question.
“Aaron, baby, contractions are three minutes apart now, my water hasn’t broken, I’m not in too much pain, and please don’t call an ambulance. I will drive myself and Jack to the hospital. Meet us there.”
“I will sweetheart. The go bag is on the floor of the closet, on the right side. And the car seat has already been installed. I am leaving right now.” Aaron promised.
“Okay! See you soon.”
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**36 weeks pregnant**
“Mrs. Hotchner, can we go swimming?” Henry asked.
“Of course, bud, you boys go get your swim trunks on and I will get Nora changed. Okay?” You looked at the three boys for confirmation.
After they all shouted okay, they ran to Jack’s room and the bathroom to change, you walked with Nora upstairs to help her change into her swimsuit.
“Alright bug, pink or green?” You asked her.
“No. Blue momma, blue!” Nora demanded.
“Okay bug, blue suit.” You agreed.
You got Nora changed and brought her into your room, before you changed into your own bathing suit in the on-suite bathroom. When you exited, you grabbed Nora and then made sure the boys were all ready and that they had put on sunscreen. The five of you made your way outside, the boys were quick to jump straight into the pool, and you made sure to put on Nora’s swimming vest.
Aaron stepped away from the grill and wrapped his arms around your waist. He placed a sweet kiss on your shoulder before leaning down and kissing Nora’s head. He went back to the grill and got it cleaned and ready for the burgers you were making tonight.
“JJ texted and said her and Will were on their way. She said to thank you again for picking the boys up from school.” Aaron let you know.
“She doesn’t need to thank me.” You scoffed. “The boys all go to the same school and with me on maternity leave, I have nothing better to do.” You laughed.
“I’m excited to see the team, it’s been so long since we’ve all been together.” Aaron sighed, slipping into the pool with you.
“I know honey. We’ve all just been so busy…that’s why it’s taken this long for us to do this reveal” You hugged him. “Do you regret taking the promotion?”
“Not for even a second. It has allowed me more time with you and the kids. I got to see almost all of Nora’s milestones, and I am so excited for this little one to join us here soon.” Aaron said caressing your belly once more.
“I can’t wait either.” You smiled.
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One by one the team began filing in through the back gate. Derek and Savanah had come in with Hank. JJ and Will had come in and were quick to greet their sons. Emily, Spencer and Penelope arrived all at once saying their hellos and quickly getting into the pool. And Rossi arrived last, he set the cake and wine in the kitchen and made himself comfortable in the lounge chairs on the deck.
Time passed in slow motion, you made conversation with those around you and ate dinner (Aaron and Derek standing over the grill drinking beer…they were arguing over how long to cook the burgers). Everyone got out of the pool and as the adults sat on the lounge chairs, the kids ran around in the yard, playing soccer.
“Are you guys ready?” Dave asked
After you and Aaron nodded, Dave went to grab the cake. You called everyone over to the table and let them know that you chose to reveal the gender this way because you didn’t want some big flashy party, but rather to be surrounded by loved ones.
“So, there’s one other announcement I’d like to make before we do the gender reveal.” You began. “I will not be returning to the BAU after the birth.”
A chorus of “what do you mean” and “why” and “that’s not funny” rang out around you. This was something that you’d been at war with yourself over for the entirety of this pregnancy. Aaron taking the promotion to a director position, it had shockingly allowed him more time with your family, and it provided a safety that his previous position had hindered. It was a culmination of those facts that led you to your decision.
“What does this mean though? What are you going to do?” Spencer was the one to ask.
“I’m going to teach.” You smiled. “I was offered a position, within the FBI, to teach. You guys will still get to see me, and we will still host everyone, but the hours are better, and they’ll allow me more time at home.”
The team exchanged solemn expressions, but ultimately wished you well. They let you know that they’d miss you and the team wouldn’t be the same without you, but they understood.
“Okay! Sorry. Onto a much happier topic – the gender reveal of our baby!” You exclaimed.
Aaron and you each took a wine glass and held them upside down over opposite edges of the cake. The team counted down 3…2…1…and you and Aaron plunged the glasses into the cake. You each brought the glasses up and held them out in front of you, confusion etched on the faces of those standing before you.
“OH MY GOD! It’s twins! It’s twins isn’t it!” Penelope shouted with glee.
In front of you, enclosed in the wine glass were layers of chocolate cake intermixed with blue frosting. And in front of Aaron was a glass housing chocolate cake with pink frosting. The two of you shared a look, one that held nothing but love and adoration for one another and the beautiful life you’ve built with one another. You loved each other more than anything and your growing family was proof of that, Jack and Nora had been thrilled that they’d be getting both a little brother and sister, and in just a few short weeks, they’d make their debut.
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ddejavvu · 2 years ago
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Texting the BAU: Would they still love you if you were a worm?
I'm not sure if anyone's ever done this before, but I was inspired by the AI voice tiktok that I saw of 'Hotch' answering this question! The user that posted the tiktok I saw was 'shiftershiz', I thought their video was really cool and I owe them the inspiration for this post!
This post has Hotch, Garcia, Morgan, Rossi, JJ, Reid, and Prentiss. If you'd like to request a temp agent that I didn't include, or an earlier one that got written off, please do so in my inbox, I'd be happy to make more :)
I apologize if some of these pictures are a bit longer than others, I cut the conversation into two 'screenshots' when I could but sometimes it was easier just to stretch them out a teeny bit.
(Almost) all of these can be read as either platonic or romantic, the only hitch is that I mention Will in JJ's post so unless you're envisioning a throuple that one won't work </3
Images under cut to avoid a long post, happy texting!
Hotch:
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Garcia:
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Morgan:
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Rossi:
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JJ:
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Reid:
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Prentiss:
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marvelwitchergilmore · 5 months ago
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Together
Summary: Aaron Hotchner x Fe!Reader -> The team knows something is up between yourself and Hotch, except Rossi seems to be the only one to put the pieces together.
Disclaimer: Descriptions of sick. Fluff. Jack and Haley don't exist in this fic. Happy ending. Not Proof Read.
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The whole team knew something was up. They just didn’t know what. 
Usually, you were normal with everyone. Chatty. Smiley. Professional. Maybe a little blunt every now and again. 
But not this time. 
For the last week you had been…cold. Well, not with them, at least. 
But with Hotch? You had been as cold as ice. 
But no-one could pin why. 
Even if it had just been small things, like the feeling in the meeting room in the morning when it just seemed to be the two of you, or the small looks you both gave each other – which had started out as awkward, but then quickly turned to shame and clear annoyance, the latter being much more clear on your end. It was definitely clear now. 
From the beginning of the case, you had been quick to change subjects. Always staying on the case, which was normal. But not your abruptness to do so. And when Hotch tried to pull you aside as the others made their way to the main doors, you brushed him off. 
Hotch was someone you never brushed off. Not until recently. 
And when you all landed in Seattle, Hotch was assigning teams for who was driving. But before he could place you with himself, JJ and Morgan, you pushed past him. 
“I’m going with Rossi.”
And Hotch didn’t say a word. 
Instead, he watched you walk away with your go bag, throwing it into the trunk with Dave. He gave his orders to Prentiss on what would happen and she updated you in the car. 
However, forty five minutes into a ninety minute drive, Emily’s voice started to make you feel dizzy. Then the heat in the car felt like it was blasting. So you rolled down the window. But that didn’t help. 
“Garcia said she’s already sent over some case files- Hey, you okay?”
From the backseat, Emily leaned forward to get a better look at you. 
“I’m fine.”
But five minutes later, you changed your mind. 
“Pull over.”
“What?”
“Pull over, I think I’m gonna be sick.”
“Okay, okay. Just hold on.”
The car had barely been put into park by the time you threw the door open, tore your seatbelt away and ran out. 
Less than ten feet from the open car door, the last three drinks and meal you ate came straight back up and soaked into the dry grass. 
You heard a second car pull up behind and then heard Morgan and Hotch’s voice. Dave had already reached you, placing a hand on your back before pulling your hair back. 
“Okay, take it easy. Are you okay?”
You could only hum before throwing up once more. He rubbed circles on your back for a moment before you finally finished throwing up and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. 
“Is she okay? Y/n, are you-”
“I’m fine!” You called out, a little harsher than you had intended. 
Holding out a hand, Rossi signalled for Hotch to stop and stay where he was with the others. 
“She’s okay, she just needs a minute. Emily, do we have water in the car?”
“Yep, here.”
Making her way over, Emily poured some water onto a tissue before handing it to you. You wiped down your mouth and your hand before being handed the bottle by Dave. 
“Small sips, okay? Are you sure you’re okay?”
You nodded, your back still to the rest of the team. “I just need a minute.”
“Aaron, we’ll meet you there.”
It took him a minute before he moved back to the car, but Hotch eventually nodded, calling out they’d see them at the precinct. 
“Do you know what it could be?” Emily asked. 
“Probably just some bad sushi.”
Emily nodded before getting back into the car. 
“Are you sure that’s all it is?” Rossi asked once she was out of earshot. 
And for a moment, you paused. 
“Let’s just get going.”
Things only seemed to get worse from there. 
You managed to hide it as best as you could from the rest of the team, but every hour you had spent a good ten minutes in the bathroom throwing your guts up. 
A couple of officers did question where you had been when they couldn’t find you but hadn’t seen you leave the building. One mention of Aunt Flow and they didn’t ask again. 
Your coldness with Hotch didn’t ease, either. It just seemed to become more frigid. And everyone saw it. 
By the third day in Seattle, Prentiss and Morgan had questioned you on it in the break room. 
“Yeah, what do you have against Hotch all of a sudden? What, one week away from us and you’ve suddenly made an agenda against him?”
“Because I love you, I’m going to ask this only once. Please don’t ask about Hotch.”
Morgan and Prentiss looked between each other, slightly worriedly, but both silently agreed to drop it. 
“But you will sort it out?”
You bit the inside of your cheek. “I don’t know.”
A few hours later, you were coming back out of the bathroom when Rossi seemed to jump out at you. 
“Jeez. Rossi. Give a girl some warning next time.”
Dave smiled. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Have we caught a break?”
“No, but I need to talk to you.”
“What about?”
“About the fact you’re running to the bathroom every hour to throw up.”
“Like I said, it was probably just some bad food. I’ll be okay.”
Only, as you started walking away, Rossi asked you a question. 
“What happened between you and Hotch?”
“Nothing.” You answered, your back still to him. 
“Really? Because I wouldn’t call it nothing. I’d call it strange.”
“Rossi, I’ve asked Morgan and Prentiss-”
“I know, and I heard. But, to be frank, I think you’re lying and you’re too scared to tell anyone.”
“Tell anyone what?”
But rather than voice it, Rossi just gave you a look. It took you a moment before you cracked a little. 
“Rossi…”
“You don’t have to tell me how or what happened, but I’m asking, just find out the truth. You don’t have to tell anyone. But I think the sooner you do it, the better it will be.”
“We’re in the middle of a case.”
Rossi shrugged, “Morgan and JJ are on their way back. Reid’s got it handled here. We’ll pick up some coffee on the way back as a cover. Let’s just go now.”
You seemed to hesitate, and Rossi could see it. 
“Please, for my sanity's sake?”
“Okay.”
Twenty minutes later, you found a pharmacy and picked up a box. 
“Can you wait outside the door for me?”
“Of course.”
And he did. 
Once you paid for the box, the cashier directed you to a bathroom in the back. Except, long after the two minutes were up, you still hadn’t come out. So, Rossi knocked on the door. 
You swung it open and he jumped back a little. 
“I can’t look at it.”
“Well, you’re gonna have to at some point.”
“I’ve wiped it down and it’s got a cap but…can you look? I’m too scared.”
Rossi could see the fear in your eyes. Oh, how two little lines could instil so much fear into people who dealt with crime every day. 
Handing the package to Rossi, he turned it around and pulled it out of the packet. 
“I believe congratulations are in order.”
Turning it around so you could see, you took it back into your grasp as you pushed one hand through your hair. 
“Oh, my god.”
“I think you and Hotch need to have a conversation.”
“Please don’t tell anyone.”
Rossi smiled, holding your hand which he could feel shaking. “You have my word.”
Somehow, back in the precinct, you managed to keep your cool. You’d brought back coffee for the team and, despite the fact you caught Hotch watching you from his seat, noticing your shaking hand, you pulled it back and found a spare pen from JJ’s notepad and spun it over and over in your fingers. 
Thankfully, due to the “food poisoning”, you had been kept out of the field when it came to finding the unsub. However, this just gave you a very large sense of dread. You watched them all run out of the door, Rossi placing a hand on your arm talking directly to you. 
“I’ll look out for him.” He told you before the others could hear him. 
“Thank you.”
Possibly carrying Hotch’s child made watching him and the team run out of the door, without you, made that sense of dread practically triple. Especially considering no-one other than Rossi knew the truth, or at least a part of it, about yourself and Aaron. 
Thankfully, no-one got hurt and the unsub was apprehended in time before he could hurt anyone else. They all came back with looks of relief and tiredness when you saw them, but there was a barely visible look of confusion and perhaps, hopefulness, on Hotch’s face when your scowl at him didn’t seem so cold. 
On the plane ride back, you were quiet. Everyone was, but there was just an air about you that told those paying attention to you that you were in your own world. 
Of course, Rossi knew why. 
But it was tearing at Hotch why he didn’t. 
Pulling back into the office, Penelope greeted you all by the elevator, hugging you all. And handing you some dry crackers and a bottle of water. 
“Thanks, Garcia.”
As everyone said their goodnights, you watched as Hotch walked directly through the bullpen and towards his office. 
“I think there are a couple of things you and he need to talk about.”
You nodded, with a light smile. “You’re right.”
Rossi kissed you cheek before saying goodnight and saluting you before the elevator doors closed. You did a small one back before turning your gaze back to the dim lights coming from Hotch’s office. 
However, first, you ran to the bathroom. 
Sitting at his desk, Hotch was halfway finished with the last of his reports when a knock came to his door. 
Looking up from his desk, there was a slight look on his face that told you he wasn’t expecting you. And you couldn’t be surprised. You’d barely been able to look him in the eye for the last month and a half, and you’d been nothing but cold and if a little harsh with him for the last couple of weeks. 
“Is everything okay?”
“Can we talk?”
Hotch nodded. “Come on in.”
You nodded back, entering, but closing the door behind you. Which made Hotch stand. 
“Is everything-”
“I’m pregnant.”
A silence settled over the room that you were expecting, but still shocked you. And every possible emotion, some you couldn’t even name, passed over his face before he was forced to sit down. 
“Oh.”
“Can I sit?”
He nodded, quickly signalling for you to do so. And so you did. 
“What did…How- When did you find out?”
“Sometime in the last twenty four hours.” You answered which confused Hotch, which you could understand. It was a vague explanation. “It’s all been kind of a blur.”
He nodded, understanding what you meant. 
“Does anyone…know?”
You nodded. “Rossi.”
“Dave knows?”
“He seemed to know before I did…kinda.”
“What does that mean?”
“I guess I had a feeling when I got carsick, but denial carried me through.”
“Does anyone else know?”
You shook your head. “No. Oh, and, um, I-I took another test to be sure. H-here.”
With a lot of nerves and a lot of awkward courage, you passed the second test across the desk to Hotch who took it in his hands and looked at it. 
Two bright pink lines. 
Positive test. 
“Just so I’m…clear. You are telling me because I’m…”
“The father?” you questioned. “Yes. There wasn’t anyone before or after you for it to be someone else.”
Hotch nodded. “Okay.”
You both sat in silence for a while, taking in what had just happened. 
“I, well, I haven’t been to see a doctor yet so I can’t know for certain but these tests are usually pretty accurate.”
Hotch could only nod. 
“You’re free to make any decision you wish,” Hotch assured you. “I’ll support you either way.”
You nodded in a small thank you. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to do. With our line of work, it gives you the handbook over why you shouldn’t have children. But, if I do decide to do this…I’m prepared to do this on my own. If I am going to do it, I’d prefer to have you in their life.” 
Your hand absentmindedly touched your stomach and you looked down to it for a moment. 
“But, I’m prepared to do it on my own.”
Hotch took in everything you said and nodded. “Like I said, I’ll support any decision you make but if you do decide to have our child…” 
Those two words settled over the both of you. 
Our Child. 
Our Child. 
Our Child.
“One thing you don’t have to worry about is doing it alone. I want to be a part of their life. And whatever support you need, I’ll try and help with.”
You nodded before looking back down to your stomach. 
Once again, a silence settled over the both of you and it was like he could hear your brain going into overload with information and feelings. But just as he was about to call your name, you looked up. 
Tears were being held tight behind your eyes, but a few words and they were ready to fall free. 
“I’m…I’m scared, Aaron.”
It didn’t take him a second thought before he stood up and met you where you were sitting. As he got around his desk, you stood and he embraced you tightly. 
He swallowed thickly, nodding and placing a quick kiss to your hair. “It’ll be okay.”
A week later, the team had taken notice of the change between yourself and Hotch. It was no longer cold, but it wasn’t what it was. It was something…uneasy. You had both clearly had a tough talk and were on rocky shores, but you were both finding a way to make it work. 
It was also a week later that you had made your decision. 
You were going to have a baby. 
A lot of different scenarios passed through your mind when you thought about what you were going to do. It would be hard, of course. It would be difficult to work the cases you do and not feel a little more emotionally involved. But you also couldn’t help but think that maybe this was a blessing in disguise. 
A part of you had wanted children for a long time, but the thought of actually having them was slipping further and further away the more you worked. 
And, despite you feeling selfish, you wanted a baby. You wanted to see a child, your child,  grow up and have a life of their own. You wanted to make the memories you had as a kid, but with them. 
You knew it would be difficult to do so when you joined the Academy, but part of you always wanted a home filled with the sound of laughter and joy. 
And maybe this was your only chance. 
And in all honesty, Aaron had similar feelings. 
It would be hard, sure. But he also wanted this in his life. He wanted a child. He wanted you in his life, however that would be. 
Of course, neither of you had seen this coming when you had run into each other at the Inn you had found. A halfway stop to your actual destination. Only, rather than continuing on your separate journeys for your week’s vacation time, you both found yourselves unable to leave the small town and the safe walls of the local Inn. 
It was that part of the story the team would forever speculate on once they found out you were pregnant and it was, in fact, Hotch’s baby. 
That was a piece of information they clued together themselves when Hotch called them in for an early meeting, but had confirmation on just a few moments later.
“So, what’s happening here?”
“Are you together?”
“We’re…still figuring that out.” Hotch answered, looking at you.
Neither of you had exactly had the conversation over what you were. Were you a couple? Were you friends? Were you co-workers? Were you just co-workers having a baby together?
HR weren’t exactly happy about the get-together but so long as the relationship wasn’t going to break any codes of conduct within the field, you were both still free to keep working. And more importantly, working together. 
However, over the next nine months, certain things seemed to blur. 
Aaron came with you to every doctor’s appointment, never missing one. When you had both first heard your baby’s heartbeat, you had clutched onto his hand and not let go. And when the sound got clearer, he pulled you a little closer, rubbing your arm and kissing your hand. 
It was a little odd, feeling the baby kick for the first time whilst being stood outside of a crime scene. 
Morgan had been with you at the time, quickly calling for Hotch when your posture and face changed from quizzical to concerned. Only, by the time Aaron had reached you both, you laughed and told them what was happening. 
Morgan then called JJ over as you guided Aaron’s hand to your stomach. And you both shared an intimate moment, just looking at one another, feeling your unborn baby kick at your stomach for the first time. 
JJ was able to confirm what was going on and both herself and Morgan congratulated you before you all remembered where you were and got back to work.
The cold glares you had given Hotch in the weeks leading up to you finding out had disappeared completely after the hug you shared in his office when you told him. And by the time you were entering your second trimester, they had turned into something similar to what they were before everything had changed. 
You had both become friends. 
He had also relaxed a little more around you, which allowed him space to take in what was actually happening. So, when your cravings started kicking in, he would hand you snacks throughout the days. You wouldn’t even know what you wanted at the time and he just…seemed to know. 
And at some point between him attending doctors appointments, helping you with your pregnancy cravings and reading to your belly, you had both begun to live together. 
It made sense, at least for the first couple of weeks after the birth and partly during the pregnancy. If you went into labour, it would be safer if someone was with you. And, it meant he was there when, in the middle of the night, you woke up with braxton hicks and panicked a little before getting checked out at the hospital, just in case. 
Also, small touches began. 
From you holding his hand against your stomach when your baby kicked, to his fingers tracing yours whilst they held that position. Then, in break rooms. They were quick, but light kisses would be pressed to your head or cheek whenever he handed you something. He was always close to you, barely leaving your side when in the field. His hand, always at the small of your back when leading you somewhere. And in the early hours of the morning, his arms would be across you as you both lay in bed, holding you close against his chest. 
Until, finally, one night whilst lay in bed, you asked a question. 
Both facing each other, despite your eyes being closed, Aaron traced repeated patterns from pushing your hair back to trailing his fingers down your arm to find your hand, rubbing soft circles with his thumb. 
Both of you should be fast asleep, yet you weren’t. 
“Aaron?”
“Hmm?”
“What are we doing?”
“Sleeping.”
You laughed a little. “No we’re not.”
“I’m sleep talking.”
“Aaron, I’m being serious.”
With a small laugh, Aaron sighed. “Okay, what is it?”
He finally opened his eyes and so did you.
“What are we doing? About us, I mean. We’re having a baby together, but we’re not together together. We work together, but we also live together. What happens after the first couple of months? Do we…what do we do?”
“I suppose we just have to take each day as it comes and see what happens.”
“I can live with that.”
“Or…”
“Oh, no.” 
Aaron laughed a little and shook his head, bringing his hand back to your face and brushing the hair from it. 
“Or,” he repeated, “we treat this for what it really is.”
“I don’t…” you shook your head. 
“I know I don’t regret what happened that week away. Even more so now, but before…before we both found out. I still didn’t regret it. I don’t. We say we live together out of convenience, but I know, at least for me, it’s something more. Now, if for you it’s still out of convenience and bonding for our child, then we can have this conversation when the time comes. But, you should know my feelings for you run deeper than just you being my co-worker and the mother of our child. Do you…could you see yourself…feeling the same?”
The silence that came over both of you for a moment made Aaron worry. Maybe he had gotten it wrong in his head. Maybe you didn’t feel the same. Maybe you were just caught up in the emotions of carrying his child and, since you were in it together, some form of feelings, similar to that of his, were getting blurry. 
But then you blinked. 
And a light smile graced across your face. 
“I do.”
Your voice was barely above a whisper. But still, your words echoed louder and louder around his head. 
“You…you do?”
You nodded. “I do.”
Aaron took a moment, before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your lips. It was like your first, all over again. Except, this time, rather than a little fear being behind it, considering at the time you were both still co-workers just on vacation, there was nothing but…
Relief. 
More specifically, relief for love. 
For months you’d both been avoiding the biggest barrier between both of you. Too scared and too fearful that the answer to each question would be some variant of “No.” 
And now…
Finally the answer was yes. 
Yes to love. 
Together.
Yes to a life.
Together. 
Yes to a family. 
Together.
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reidreaders · 10 months ago
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Your Insta If You Were Dating Spencer Reid Pt. 8
Warnings: throwing up, a lil sexual
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Liked by ssahotchner, drreid, and 254 others
y/n out n about
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drreid I had the best day with you!
-> y/n 😘😘
davidrossi Have fun kids!
babygirlpg love ur outfit Spencer!
-> drreid Thanks, Garcia!
emprentiss lowkey weird seeing him wear something that's not a suit
-> chocthunder ikr I didn't know he had other clothes
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Liked by chocthunder, jenniferj, and 123 others
y/n 🚨ROSSI SIGHTING🚨
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davidrossi It was nice running into you!
-> y/n it was so good to see you!
chocthunder I have a rossi sighting every day of my life
-> emprentiss real
-> drreid real
-> chocthunder real??
-> drreid @/y/n taught me
babygirlpg they're so bff
-> y/n ikr
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Liked by jenniferj, davidrossi, and 162 others
y/n squealing cause look what I came home to
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drreid I'm glad you were excited! I love you ❤️
-> y/n I LOVE YOU STOP
davidrossi Nice job, Spencer! I can see you're putting those cooking lessons to good use.
ssahotchner Looks good!
babygirlpg im squealing for you this is so sweet!
-> y/n I KNOW
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Liked by jenniferj, emprentiss, and 278 others
y/n I love u @/drreid
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drreid I love you, too!
jenniferj this is so cute!!
babygirlpg I love u guys so much im going to throw up
-> chocthunder im going to throw up for other reasons
-> emprentiss im going to throw up bc they're making me feel so single
-> babygirlpg oh so true
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Liked by davidrossi, babygirlpg, and 215 others
y/n hes so FINE I can't
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emprentiss not y/n being horny on main
-> jenniferj im not even surprised at this point
-> babygirlpg me neither but I wholeheartedly support it
-> y/n thanks penny 😘
ssahotchner I feel like I'm not supposed to be seeing this.
-> drreid Yeah, I wish you hadn't.
-> y/n sorry spence ❤️
idk why some of these pics keep uploading funny so sorry ab that but if anyone knows how to fix it lmk anywaysssss hope y'all enjoyed ily
MASTERLIST
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pathologicalreid · 1 year ago
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newly creds | S.R.
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in which the BAU team wants to see your newly issued credentials
who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader
category: fluff
content warnings: marriage. changing your name. slightly suggestive at the end but nothing explicit.
word count: 498
a/n: first and foremost, thank you so much for 100 followers AND for almost 3k likes i am so astounded by this im just so grateful. i absolutely wrote this while i was supposed to be doing privacy law homework. very proud of the title too. also today is my birthday so legally you have to like and reblog this!!! please enjoy <3
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“So, let’s see it,” Derek prodded as he leaned over your desk, obviously searching the surface of it for something.
You peered up at him, “Can I help you?”
Before he could properly answer you, Emily entered the bullpen. Her eyes found you and she hastily piled her things on her desk before joining Morgan next to yours. “Do you have it?” She asked, dark hair shining as she inspected your desk.
Obviously, you had missed some sort of memo about whatever ‘it’ is. “I have uh, half of a bagel?” You offered helplessly, gesturing to your unfinished breakfast that was waiting patiently for you on top of a napkin.
“Y/N!” Penelope called your name from the glass doors she was rushing through, “Did I miss it? I want to see!”
Spencer rounded the corner of your desk, slowly placing a mug of fresh coffee on your desk, next to your abandoned bagel. “What’s going on?” He asked, carefully bringing his cup of coffee to his mouth to take a sip.
You shrugged, “They all want to see something but won’t tell me what ‘it’ is.” You grumbled, holding out your left hand, “Is this it?” The whole team had seen your ring already, Emily, Penelope, and JJ had even helped Spencer pick it out. You wondered if maybe they all wanted to see the engagement ring with your wedding band.
“Y/N,” another voice called, you resisted the urge to bury your face in your hands as you turned to face JJ. “Did you get the envelope that was on your desk? It got delivered to me by mistake, but I kept it safe while you two were honeymooning.”
Your lips parted, “Oh!” Quickly, you realized what everyone was pestering you about. You and Spencer had just gotten back from your weeklong honeymoon. The both of you got to work first, just to find a package on your desk. Rolling your chair back slightly, you rolled your eyes, “You know, you all could’ve just said something.”
You reached into your desk drawer and pulled out your credentials before unclipping your badge from your belt loop. Handing your creds to Derek and your badge to Garcia, who squealed in excitement, you couldn’t help but smile at Spencer. “SSA Y/N Reid,” Derek said, sounding like a proud parent.
Spencer placed a hand on your shoulder, and you beamed, “I wasn’t expecting them so quickly, I don’t even have my new driver’s license yet.”
“Does this mean you’re both going to answer to Reid now?” Emily asked, smiling at the prospect of confusion.
Shaking your head, you took your badge back, “Not unless it’s a prank. Hotch actually specifically asked us not to do that.”
“Welcome back,” Rossi said, walking into the bullpen and passing your desk. “I sure hope the two of you had the same kind of fun I did on my third honeymoon,” he teased, winking as he continued up to his office.
Spencer choked on his coffee.
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lillaberry · 20 days ago
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Spencer and Penelope were in Caltech the same time?!?!? She dropped out at 18 and she’s 3yrs older than spencer? I cant stop thinking about college au where angsty emo penelope meets this scrawny 15 yo kid and they become unlikely besties to siblings????? Uggghh can someone please write it😭😭
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reidmarieprentiss · 4 months ago
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Hii! I was wondering if you could write something with bartender!reader and spencer? They meet at a bar in one of his cases and he is WHIPPED, she gets drinks for the whole team and he just can´t stop staring at her, maybe penelope also tries to flirt with her? i don't know i love pen and just wanted her to be included in this lmao
Southern Charm
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Category: fluff
Warnings/Includes: alcohol consumption
Word count: 3.5k
a/n: hiii i love this prompt !! i hope this is something like what you were looking for <3333
main masterlist
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After successfully closing a challenging case in New Orleans, the BAU team decides to take a well-deserved break before heading back to Quantico. Will LaMontagne, JJ's beau, invites them to his favorite bar, Jewel of the South, for an evening of drinks and relaxation. Penelope Garcia, who joined the team on this trip to assist with the precinct's outdated technology, is thrilled to unwind with her colleagues in the vibrant city. With the spirit of New Orleans as their backdrop, the team gathers at the elegant cocktail bar, ready to enjoy a night of laughter and friendship, leaving the stresses of the job behind.
As they settled into a cozy corner, Penelope Garcia took it upon herself to ensure everyone had their preferred drink. As she made her way to the bar, Spencer Reid found himself glancing around the room, his mind still half-occupied by the case they had just closed. But his attention was quickly drawn to a captivating figure behind the bar. 
You were busy mixing drinks with an air of effortless grace, your warm smile lighting up the room. Spencer’s gaze lingered on you, his interest piqued by your charm and the way you seemed to effortlessly command the space.
Penelope returned, carrying a tray laden with cocktails and setting it down with a flourish. "Alright, team! Drinks are served!" she announced, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she noticed Spencer's transfixed gaze.
"Looks like our resident genius has found something—or rather someone—interesting," Derek teased, nudging Spencer playfully. "Or should I say, someone has captured his attention?"
Spencer blinked, his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink. "I, um, was just observing how well she handles the bar," he stammered, trying to sound nonchalant.
Emily raised an eyebrow, a sly smile spreading across her face. "Uh-huh, sure. Handling the bar. That’s what we’re calling it now?" she quipped, a knowing look in her eyes. "I think someone should go say hello."
Before Spencer could protest, you approached their table, carrying a fresh round of drinks. "Here you go! Compliments of the house for the amazing work you all do," you said, your smile even brighter up close.
Spencer tried to find his voice, but all he managed was a slightly awkward, "Thank you. You’re so pretty–kind, this is so kind of you.”
Penelope, ever the social butterfly, seized the opportunity to introduce herself. "I'm Penelope, and this is Spencer. And you have impeccable taste in cocktails!"
You chuckled, clearly enjoying the interaction. "Thanks, Penelope. I do try to keep the drinks as interesting as the company. That’s why yours has a special twist," you said, turning your attention to Spencer with a wink.
Spencer flushed yet again, "Oh—oh, thank you. Um, what is it?"
"Pretty boy, why don't you just take a sip and see if you like it?" Derek suggested, grinning from ear to ear.
"Yeah, pretty boy. And don't spare my feelings; I'd be happy to make you something else," you offered charmingly, leaning in slightly.
Spencer took a sip and realized you'd made him an absolutely delicious mocktail. His eyes widened with appreciation. "Thank you so much, this is wonderful."
"Glad you like it!" you replied, your smile warm and genuine.
Emily Prentiss, ever curious, leaned forward. "I have to ask, how did you get into bartending?"
"Yeah!" Penelope added with a playful glint in her eye. "A beautiful thing such as yourself must get a lot of tips."
You giggled at their flattery, clearly enjoying the banter. "Ha! You guys are too much. I'm just putting myself through grad school."
"And the tips?" JJ chimed in, wiggling her shoulders, much to the amusement of everyone.
You leaned in closer, lowering your voice conspiratorially, which put your chest right next to Spencer's face. "I'm not technically supposed to say..." you trailed off, casting a playful glance at Will, who was sitting nearby, "but if Will here promises not to say anything, the tips are phenomenal!"
Will smiled and raised his hand in mock solemnity. "My lips are sealed, good lady," he assured you, playing along with the lighthearted mood.
Spencer was trying his best to keep his eyes forward during the interaction, but they kept drifting over before finally accepting his fate of staring at your chest. His mind was a whirl of confusion and embarrassment, his usual eloquence completely deserting him.
"I'd say Reid over here wants to give her more than a tip," Derek laughed, his voice full of good-natured teasing.
"Morgan," Hotch scolded, though not without a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Realizing how your position had flustered the poor, adorable man, you straightened up, giving Spencer a little space. He was clearly overwhelmed, his cheeks a brilliant shade of crimson.
Spencer, noticing everyone's eyes on him, suddenly felt the urge to escape. "Excuse me," he mumbled, getting up from the table and making a beeline for the bathroom, his heart pounding with mortification and exhilaration.
As he disappeared, Penelope sighed theatrically, casting a wistful look in your direction. "Well, if he doesn't make a move, I might have to!" she declared with a laugh, earning a chorus of agreement from the rest of the team.
You chuckled, feeling the warmth of the group's camaraderie and the genuine affection they had for one another. "You guys are a lot of fun," you admitted, feeling quite at ease despite the little whirlwind you'd unintentionally stirred.
Derek grinned at you, clearly enjoying the playful chaos. "Yeah, we're all sorts of fun. But don't worry about Spencer; he'll be back. Probably with a list of reasons why he shouldn't have left," he said, amusement dancing in his eyes.
You nodded, glancing toward the bathroom with a smile. "I'll have to make sure his drink doesn't get warm in the meantime."
Spencer stepped outside the bar, seeking a breath of fresh air to calm his racing thoughts. The air was humid, clinging to his skin, but it was a welcome change from the crowded bar where the laughter and clinking glasses seemed to amplify his embarrassment. He leaned against the brick wall, replaying every second from the moment he first saw you, analyzing each word and glance.
The way you'd leaned in, the warmth of your smile, and the kindness in your eyes—every detail felt vivid in his mind, refusing to be ignored. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't hear the door open behind him.
"Hey, handsome," came your voice, cutting through the evening air like a melody.
Spencer spun around, his heart skipping a beat. The learned fear of being approached from behind flashed through him for a brief moment before he realized it was you. "Oh, hi," he managed to say, trying to sound composed but failing spectacularly.
"Hey, now," you teased, a playful lilt in your voice. "Don't sound too excited to see me. I'll start to think you don't like me."
"Oh—I, I mean, well," Spencer stammered, fumbling for words. His mind raced to form coherent sentences, but the proximity of your presence and the way you looked at him made it nearly impossible.
"You’re really cute, do you know that?" you said, your smile softening the tension in the air. You stepped closer, leaning against the wall beside him, your eyes glinting with amusement.
Spencer blinked, momentarily caught off guard by your directness. "Um, thank you," he said, his voice filled with surprise and gratitude. "I don't usually get called that."
"Now that's a damn shame," you replied, shaking your head slightly. "What do you get called? Pretty? Beautiful? Charming? Sexy?"
Spencer laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Nerdy, weird, loser," he admitted, the words tumbling out with a self-deprecating shrug.
"Nope," you said firmly, crossing your arms as if the mere idea was ridiculous. "I refuse to believe anyone could have a negative thing to say about you. You’re sweeter than honey."
He met your gaze, slightly bewildered by your unwavering confidence in him. "I have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory, I can read 20,000 words per minute, and I have three PhDs. No one is calling me anything kind. Other than doctor or genius, maybe."
"Sexy," you corrected him with a teasing smile.
"What?" Spencer blinked again, this time in genuine confusion.
"That's downright sexy, sugar," you repeated, your voice low and playful.
Spencer was at a loss for words, an unusual occurrence for someone who usually had an answer for everything. His cheeks turned a deeper shade of red as he processed your words, his heart skipping a beat at the compliment.
"I—uh," he stammered, searching for a response that wouldn’t sound completely ridiculous.
You chuckled softly at his reaction, clearly enjoying the effect you had on him. "Don’t worry, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable," you said, your tone gentle and reassuring. "I just think intelligence is incredibly attractive."
Spencer nodded slowly, still trying to wrap his head around the idea that someone found him attractive for more than just his intellect. "Thank you," he finally managed, his voice sincere. "That's… really nice to hear."
"You're welcome," you replied with a warm smile. "So, what brings you to New Orleans, sugar?"
Spencer relaxed slightly, grateful for the change in topic. "Work, mostly. We just wrapped up a case, and the team decided to take a night off to unwind."
"Well, I’m glad you did," you said, giving him a sidelong glance. "Otherwise, I might not have met the smartest—and sexiest—guy in New Orleans."
Spencer watched as you smiled, a hint of playfulness in your eyes as you leaned against the wall. The evening air was thick with humidity, but there was a certain warmth in the atmosphere that made everything feel alive. 
"Can I get you a drink?" he offered, feeling a sudden burst of confidence. 
“Sure, honey. I’m off in just over an hour. Will you wait for me?” you asked, your voice a smooth blend of charm and Southern warmth.
Spencer was entranced by your spell, your accent adding an extra layer of allure to every word. “Of–of course,” he replied, his voice tinged with both eagerness and a touch of awe.
Your smile widened, clearly pleased with his response. "Great! I promise I won't keep you waiting too long."
Spencer nodded, feeling a strange ball of nervousness and excitement fluttering in his chest. He couldn’t believe his luck; not only had he caught your attention, but now he had a reason to spend more time with you.
"Just hang tight, and I'll join you as soon as I can," you said, giving him a reassuring wink before heading back inside the bar to finish your shift.
As you slipped back through the door, Spencer took a moment to steady himself. The cool night air was a welcome contrast to the heat building inside him, a gentle reminder that this unexpected encounter was real. 
Spencer returned to his friends, who were still enjoying their drinks and each other's company. Penelope Garcia spotted him first, her eyes lighting up with curiosity.
"Well, well, well, look who decided to come back," she teased, patting the empty seat beside her. "Did you have a nice chat with our lovely bartender?"
Spencer smiled, feeling a bit more composed now that he was among friends. "Yes, actually," he said, a hint of bashfulness in his voice. "She’s really nice."
Derek Morgan chuckled, shaking his head. "Nice? Man, she was practically making eyes at you, and you didn’t even notice."
"She was?" Spencer asked, genuinely surprised. "I mean, I thought she was just being friendly.”
Emily Prentiss laughed, taking a sip of her drink. "Spencer, I think you might need to brush up on your flirting skills. She was definitely interested."
Spencer blushed, his gaze dropping to the table as he tried to process this new information. "Well, she said she’d join me for a drink after her shift," he admitted, glancing around at his friends' reactions.
Penelope clapped her hands in delight. "Oh my gosh, this is so exciting! You have a date!"
"It's not a date," Spencer protested, though his smile betrayed his words. "We're just… having a drink."
"Uh-huh, sure," JJ said with a knowing nod. "But you better be on your best behavior, Doctor Reid."
The time passed more quickly than Spencer anticipated. As he sat with his friends, he found himself watching the clock, eager for the moment when he could see you again. 
Finally, as the hour drew to a close, you emerged from behind the bar, having swapped your work apron for a casual yet stylish outfit that seemed to suit you perfectly. Spencer's heart skipped a beat at the sight of you, your presence a beacon of warmth in the dimly lit bar.
You approached the table with a confident stride, flashing a friendly smile at the team. "Hope I didn't keep y'all waiting too long," you said, your drawl a melodic touch to your words.
"Not at all," Spencer replied, standing up to greet you. "It was worth the wait."
Derek raised his glass in a mock toast. "Look at you, Reid, sounding like a proper gentleman."
You laughed, clearly enjoying the group. "Y'all are such a fun bunch. You might have to make this a regular stop."
Spencer felt a sense of ease settle over him, his earlier nerves fading into the background as he focused on the here and now. You were standing beside him, your presence both comforting and exhilarating, and he couldn’t help but feel grateful for this unexpected twist of fate.
"So," you said, turning your attention back to Spencer, "are you ready for that drink?"
"Definitely," he replied, feeling a surge of anticipation. "Lead the way."
With that, you guided Spencer to a quieter corner of the bar, where the noise of the crowd faded into a gentle hum. The dim lighting cast a warm glow over the wooden table, creating an intimate setting. Spencer felt his heart beat a little faster, knowing that this was a chance to learn more about the intriguing woman who had captured his attention so effortlessly.
Spencer settled into the booth across from you, his hands fidgeting slightly with the edge of his sleeve. He offered you a small, bashful smile, the kind that hinted at both his excitement and nervousness. "So," he began, searching for the right words, "I guess this is the part where I ask you about your favorite drink, but it feels a bit redundant given your expertise."
You chuckled, leaning forward with a playful glint in your eye. "Well, I'm always up for a good mystery. Surprise me, Dr. Reid. What would you imagine my favorite drink to be?"
Spencer blinked, momentarily caught off guard by the challenge. He considered your question, his mind racing through various options. "Hmm, I’d guess something classic but with a twist. Maybe an Old Fashioned, but with a splash of something unexpected like lavender or ginger."
Your eyes widened in mock surprise, clearly impressed. "Not bad, Spencer. I have to admit, I do like a bit of lavender in my Old Fashioned."
Spencer felt a surge of pride at getting it right, his awkward charm shining through as he said, "I, uh, thought it might match your personality—elegant with a hint of something uniquely you."
You smiled, your gaze softening as you watched him. "That’s sweet of you to say," you replied, your voice carrying a gentle warmth that made his heart skip a beat.
The conversation flowed naturally, with Spencer occasionally stumbling over his words in an endearing way that made you smile. He was unlike anyone you’d met before, his intelligence paired with a genuine kindness that was refreshing and intriguing.
As you talked, you noticed how Spencer's eyes seemed to light up when he spoke about his work and the things he was passionate about. His enthusiasm was contagious, and you found yourself leaning in closer, captivated by his stories and the way he seemed to pour his heart into everything he did.
"So, Spencer," you said, your voice taking on a more playful tone, "do you always get this nervous around women, or is it just me?"
Spencer let out a soft laugh, his cheeks flushing slightly. "Well, I—I suppose it's not every day I get to talk to someone as captivating as you," he admitted, his honesty shining through despite his awkwardness.
You grinned, clearly enjoying the effect you had on him. "Captivating, huh? I'll take that as a compliment."
"It is," Spencer assured you, his gaze steady despite the flutter of nerves in his chest. "You have this way of commanding attention. It's, um, quite impressive."
You reached across the table, lightly touching his hand with yours. "And you have a way of making people feel appreciated, Spencer. That's a rare quality."
Spencer felt a spark at the contact, his heart beating a little faster. The moment seemed to stretch out, charged with an energy that was both thrilling and a bit nerve-wracking.
"You know," you said softly, your eyes meeting his with a hint of mischief, "I think you're pretty special, too. Not just for your brain, but for who you are."
Spencer swallowed, his mind racing with thoughts he couldn’t quite articulate. He felt a pull toward you, a magnetic force that seemed to draw him closer with every word and gesture.
"Thank you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "That means a lot coming from you."
You smiled, your eyes holding his in a gaze that seemed to speak volumes. As if sensing the moment, the bar around you seemed to fade into the background, leaving just the two of you in your own little world.
Spencer hesitated for a fraction of a second, his mind caught between doubt and desire. But then he saw the encouragement in your eyes, and the decision seemed to make itself.
He leaned across the table, his movements tentative but filled with intent. You met him halfway, closing the distance with a gentle ease that made the moment feel right. 
The kiss was soft and tentative, a sweet brush of lips that carried the promise of something more. Spencer felt his heart soar, the warmth of the connection spreading through him like a gentle tide. 
When you finally pulled back, your eyes locked onto his, a smile playing at the corners of your lips. "See?" you teased, your voice a soft murmur. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
Spencer chuckled, relief and happiness washing over him. "No," he admitted, his voice filled with newfound confidence. "I guess it wasn't."
You grinned, leaning back with a satisfied air. "Good, because I was planning on doing that again," you said, your eyes sparkling with mischief.
Spencer felt his heart skip at the prospect, the evening stretching out before him with endless possibilities. He realized that this unexpected encounter could be more than just a chance meeting.
And as he sat there, sharing a quiet moment with you in the corner of the bar, Spencer knew that he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
“Did you guys see that??” Penelope burst out, her eyes wide with excitement as she pointed toward the cozy corner where you and Spencer were sitting.
Emily turned her head just in time to catch a glimpse of the sweet interaction, her lips curving into a knowing smile. "Looks like our genius finally made his move," she commented, clearly pleased by the development.
Derek, ever the supportive friend, couldn't contain his enthusiasm. “Pretty boy is putting in the work!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together in approval. “I knew he had it in him.”
JJ shook her head with a laugh, leaning back in her chair. "I guess we all underestimated Spencer's game," she said, casting a proud glance toward her colleague.
Beside her, Will LaMontagne joined in the teasing, a playful grin on his face. "JJ, you might have a new travel buddy when you come to see me," he teased, nudging her with his elbow. "Looks like Spencer's found himself a reason to visit New Orleans more often."
JJ chuckled, a hint of amusement in her eyes. "Well, I can’t say I blame him. She's a real catch."
Aaron Hotchner, usually reserved and composed, allowed himself a small smile as he watched the interaction unfold. It was rare for Spencer to let his guard down, and it was heartening to see him embrace this new connection.
"Good for him," Hotch remarked, his tone approving as he raised his glass in a quiet toast to Spencer's success.
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