#aaaa im not sure if its the sleep deprivation

[bl-inkstone]

mini ramble in tags while i try to decide which piece to work on

[holly-fixation]

like on one hand a small part of me that shrivels and cries and evaporates at angst and hurt/no comfort wants to think "sephis dream tidbit is suffering from Dream Logic and that's why it's so stark and empty" (i don't remember their url but i think it was on thunglr someone was saying 'please god let this be like when you have a dream at your house but it's a walmart with a secret library your dad owns' kind of thing) and that he at least had a bed and maybe one bedside table for the world's worst glass of water. MAYBE he was just sitting on a crate because his 10000% sleep deprived brain interpreted heli chair as crate. maybe that crate is his only other piece of furniture help help help HELP

on the other hand that throats angst like it'll run away before i can have it: maybe he DID have a slightly less desolate room before episode 1 and part of his punishment is to be deprived of a room that isn't just a holding cell that maybe has a bed off screen but tbh i wouldn't put it past hojo to multitask with punishment and also "we need to see how little my perfect specimen can survive on so we know just how much it can be plopped somewhere to kill and we don't even need to hurry back for pick up" like sure he will concede seph needs to sleep, that's why there's still one shitty little blanket left in the FUCKING CHAMBER. SORRY ITS ALL HITTING ME but if there is anything off screen and for this fictional characters sake i hope there is some sleeping arrangement but episode 1 might have cost seph his cot or horrible hospital mattress on the floor on top of everything else.

i believe? it was altocat (hi i also come to your inbox to shout regularly LMAO) who mentioned that before seeing the dream the hc for sephs room was more like a glass box so he can be observed at all times and that is grotesque (eating it with my bare hands reveling in it enjoying pain) but with the dream room being a box with a single entrance/exit makes me feel sooooo much worse for seph if that truly is where he's kept. like he already knows he's being watched and observed and recorded at all times, but there's only one way in and out of the room and he has to watch everything and everyone come in and walk out of there and there's nothing he can do to stop them

and to cope his brain (or the jenova cells taking advantage of the depression weakness or the some other third thing I AM IN AAAAGGGOOONNNYYYY) take him back to the terrible room where nothing good has ever happened because it's the only constant he's had that isn't hurting him directly and overtly. and his mommy is there and loves him and when i think of it as "childish" it feels a bit wrong bc that usually comes with an insult but it really is just like..... first of all 14 is nearly infantile and he was NOT socialized as a kitten so his regulation is horrible at best and non-existent at reality but it really is just like. very young child self soothing.

and THEN!!!!! the fanon over the years being sephs very nice apartment in the shinra building but he never decorates and is hardly ever in it hurts so much more now. like of course he doesn't decorate HE HAD A BOX. HE DOESN'T GO IN THERE BECAUSE HES ONLY EVER HAD BOX. AAAA

also hahaha i saw your tags about not really having an idea of who i could be im new here and just like staying anon in boxes, thank u for allowing anon spots for me to wail in. ep 2 is going to smite me

Look I will fully admit the "dream logic" argument doesn't fly if Angeal's pink/purple haze dream is accepted as true.

Although this is the first time I've seen someone say the room might be a punishment and not his actual bedroom. But if it is a dream, why would it be in his punishment room and not his actual room? I don't know. But everything we learned about Sephiroth this episode hurts.

[ozzy-bozzy]

so personally i stay up late on my phone or computer playing games or just on social media.. so i was wondering if i could request how the boys would react to a s/o who stays up all night and is suuuper sleep deprived, please?

hiya love! Pls i do this every night :.) thanks for requesting! I hope you enjoy!

Reki would definitely stay up late a lot of the time

he gets distracted watching skate videos on his phone

or making a new deck

but, he would also probably be the one to suggest you both try and sleep

and if you have problems sleeping, he’ll do his best to coax you asleep

he might suggest cuddling to get you comfy, or maybe watching a movie together

Beware the movie, Reki is not making it out awake

He tries!! He really does!! But you’re his comfort person and he just knocks out when all tangled up with you !!

If you show signs of being sleep deprived during the day, Reki tries to keep you present

He’ll make sure you stay hydrated so you dont get headaches

He’ll drown you in his hoodie and let you snuggle up in it for a nice afternoon nap

Might tell you to nap while he and Langa skate

Hell, half the time you’re not even gonna be stuck staying up on your phone or struggling with insomnia, Reki is dragging you out to go to S with him

In conclusion, you’re both gonna be sleep deprived to some degree

Langa would be way less sleep deprived compared to you or Reki

He can just reset after like 2-4 hours of sleep its not fair

But he’s definitely will take care of you while you’re sleep deprived

He’ll make sure you have meds incase you get a headache

He usually carries around a hoodie for you to wear

He likes to think staying warm and cozy and just drowning in his scent will make you sleepy

And it probably will tbh

But when you guys are hanging out with Reki at the skatepark or something he’ll take breaks and let you lean back against him and snooze off

If you’re with him late at night, he rather you talk to him and slowly tire yourself out instead of staring at your phone

He says it keeps you awake

It probably does

Langa will also make sure you get plenty of rest if you get to sleep in and will wake you up at some point so you dont sleep in for the whole day and will make sure you eat something!!

He helps you from letting your sleep deprivation drive you into a depression hole :)

please im so happy i got to use my new banners and everything aaaa

[fictionfixations]

Wilbur & George Ghost Hunting (Sam & Colby[?] Video)

aAaa

i watched a ghost hunting thing (this is spoilers and me in my sleep deprived mind lol ig ?? the videos like a few weeks old but its really late so no link haha, thumbnail sobs and its 4 am i watched it at like 3)

oddly enough my favorite part of it was them doing the estes method, wilbur specifically, besides the flashlight section where they were asking questions in the tunnel

i just find it really interesting

i think basically

you get blindfolded and you hear these things that the ghost tells you through something that im not 100% sure of but i think you put headphones on so you like i think only hear what the ghost is saying in answer to someone else outside asking questions and you have to say those but youll hear it more likely without faking it due to sensory deprivation

its terrifying

no but they were actually going somewhere with when wilbur was doing it compared to george so like holy fuck?? anyway i have school today so i should sleep but i cant because yknow woo but like ill probably have a test today sobs i kinda wanna almost try writing something in my sleep-deprived mind with ghost hunting but like i dont know anything ive only just been introduced to new shit because yeah no phasmophobia doesnt have the most recent stuff like this one thing i forgot the name of but dont wanna ruin my search history with ghost hunting shit currently thats really cool in how to communicate without the spirit box with yes-no, numbers, emojis- i think i just learned that the spirit box might be cycling through words that the ghost can use but i dont know how that works or how the ghosts can see that? i dont know D:

but then theres stuff like the cat ball that lights up when something touches it

like a sensor

and theres a music box that plays music when it senses movement and shit bro its slightly conflicting with my ghost hunting knowledge from phasmophobia sobs with like haunted possessions thingys aaa

[tumblunni]

M A X I M U M C O Z E

Morning update from the bonn! You guys will be happy to know i slept great and feel so much happier! I actually managed to sleep thru the whole night from 6pm to 10am the next morning. Still feel a lil groggy cos i mean one good nigt's sleep doesnt cure a whole three weeks of bad sleeping patterns. But maaaan i feel so much more good in the brain and soul. Fell asleep in my clothes tho cos i didnt unpack the pyjamas yet, lol!

Ok plans for today is just to unpack and be happ and try and get back to a good mental state. It was so damn surreal and sad when i got to visit here for a few hours last week and it was like i barely recognized it and i still couldbt caln down cos i new it was only a temporary visit home. And my brain was still kinda stuck that way yesterday, i couldnt believe i was really here and really got to stay here again. Emotional numbness to prepare for imminant sads, i guess. But waking up in my maximum coze bed with my dumb beautiful collection of cuddly plush pokemons has really helped me believe its all real, yknow?

ANYWAY! plans for today!

Might not actually do all of these today cos yeah take it easy and become the happyness again and get some more sleep yeah yeah. But this is what i need to do this week yeah!

Unpack the big ol pile of suitcases! Just pretend its like unwrapping birthday presents! Really big cumbersome ones that dont contain any presents!

Pack everything back away where it belongs uuuuugh tiresome

Un-hide the computer, tv, etc. Basically gotta move all the furniture in every room cos i was paranoid and wanted to hide every valuable thibg in the place a hypothetical burglar woukdnt look (under the bed etc)

Hook up the pc again and transfer all the stuff back over from the laptop. I feel bad that i spent so much money on Big Chonk Laptop and hardly even used it cos i wimped out after three weeks...

Cleaning! Cos not everythibg stayed frozen in time, alas. Gotta (ugh) wash out the stinky moss from the fridge and freezer. I got all the food out before i turned them off, but there must have been crumbs somewhere.

Do all the dishes i didnt have time to do before i left. Lol im surprised that didnt get moldy! Seriously its like half of my kitchen covered in dishes cos i was rushing to clean and pack everything and thats just what got left til last.

Introduce new build a bear workshop plushie alolan vulpix to the rest of plushie kingdom. His name is bubblegum! Im sure i shall always look at him and have fond memories of how i conquered this hellish experience.

Hopefully at some point today the internet repairman will call, so i have to deal with that. Atleast being scared of bigger things helped me become less scared of talking on the phone, lol!

GET FOOD. GET FOOD FOR BONN.

Generally go out and walk around le neighbourhood also because I MISSED EVEN THE LAMEST SCARIEST PARTS OF THIS PLACE! But lol that means i need to unpack my shoes and binder first, i wish i could remember where i put them but i was just kinda flailing wildly in a GET HOME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE trance

Put some credit on the electric bill stick thingy. Could maybe manage to put 5 quid on the heating one too cos seriously the weather keeps flipping between hot and cold and im sure actual winter is gonna start soon.

But make sure to still GET FOOD FOR BUNN! consume sustinance upon this fine morn. Aaaa i only have 15 quid tho but i can get basic Bread n Juice and i just have to wait til friday now.

Actually ehh dont get the heating. Cos the minimum credit is 5 quid and i could use that for foods. Heating is a friday thing! I have all my cool hats to cover up my greasy hair if i dont have a shower for a few days, lol

Go see the new library finally aaaa!!! I hope it was worth the wait!!!

DO LETS PLAYS! or just some kind of recording somethingy! Ive missed being able to even do that, cos i mean no privacy in the hospital and stuff. And again, less scared of that right now cos im still riding the wave inbetween a bigger fear and being safe from that big fear, yknow? Perfect time to try and practise all the social anxiety stuffs! Iwas thinking fibally do that dramatic reading of the bootleg kingdom hearts thing, or that years old accent meme or something

Be happy at a well spent day of good privacy and being myselfness, and have a good sleep again. Woo!

So yeh those are PLANS and for now im gonna go scour the cupboards for the slightest food related thing cos i need to take my meds with food. Then maybe finish off the last of that energy drink just so i can shake off the sickly sleep deprivation funk and go out to the shops while the weather is still good. By the power of scarier bigger things, i am conquer my fear of basic shops sociality!! (..probably)

[phantomrubies]

If Infinite was going to get an redemption how would you like to see it happen? he deserves love and support to get through what he went through and has the potential to be redeemed and fix the damage he did, he just needs someone too care for him and help him

aaaa well, lemme see. i’ve stated in a couple of asks prior to this one that i can see gadget/the avatar going to search for infinite post-forces; hence why they left!! since infinite vanished and his fate remained a mystery, i find it plausible?? after a while of determined seeking, i imagine gadget would finally find him, alone and in hiding while recovering or smth. since being defeated, he’s adopted his desperate “i’m not weak” mindset even further because he took it hard and is desperately trying to tell himself otherwise from what he thinks. he expects no pity from gadget and is surprised when he’s told that he’s not weak at all; that defeat still doesn’t make him weak, and most certainly not pathetic.at first he rejects gadget’s attempts at aiding him because he thinks he shouldnt need help, but gadget persists. as annoying as it is he can respect the determination at the very least and is almost just a little touched that someone came back to look for him after all his terrible deeds. gadget is determined that nobody gets left behind, not even infinite. he reassures him often that he’s strong, that he can still better himself as a person, and that there’s a second chance. it takes a while for infinite to truly believe it, probably a few months or so, but he appreciates having gadget by his side. gadget shows him love and compassion and positivity, and teaches him there is beauty in the world. its pretty slow burn to the point infinite doesnt even notice his outlook changing at first.the resistance and most people in general are wary and sceptical of infinite but he gradually proves himself by committing good deeds and helping to rebuild their world, even if he can’t undo his past actions; which he heavily regrets. gadget doesnt brush off how bad it was for infinite’s sake, but he does make sure to let infinite know they dont need to define him if he continues to better himself and tries to be sure he isnt dwelling on it too much. i can also see any surviving members of the jackal squad seeking out infinite too, and they also show him support. idk sdfggf im a lil sleep deprived rn and this isnt even anything solid im just kinda rambling, sorry kind anon but i rly appreciate the ask regardless !!

[btstypewriters-blog]

No Matter What

READER x JIN

Genre: fluff; angst; infidelity; Soulmate!AU

Summary: Sometimes its hard to remember that you’re supposed to be in love with him. You know what he’s doing to you, destroying you little by little. But why are you still holding on?

A/N: This plot came to me while listening to Stone Cold by Demi Lovato. ITS SUCH A SAD SONG RIGHT? i feel sad and decided to put everything in this new fic im working on. enjoy~

-SKY<3

Sometimes It's hard to remember that you're in love.

Still in love with him.

And also him with you.

Too many nights were wasted crying over the ruins of what was once a beautiful relationship. Too many hours spent waiting up for him, sleep deprived but still smiling nonetheless. Only to see him drunk, stumbling towards the couch and passing out.

Sometimes he reeks of another woman's cologne, the smell still strong. Or even lipstick marks on the collar of his dress shirt.

It's funny how it all start so beautifully, as if sprinkled by pixie dust. Only laughter and whispers of I love you’s could be heard. But now, it turned itself into poison--a deathly one.

***

The itch coming from your left wrist woke you from your peaceful sleep. An army of butterflies erupt in your stomach, making you feel giddy and tingly all over.

You've been waiting for this moment since you were 5, the moment you realise why both of your parents have each other's name engraved on their wrist.

Today is the day, on your eighteenth birthday, that you'll finally be able to know who your prince charming is. The person who will surely love and cherish you, in happiness and sadness, in sickness and in health. Someone that will love you unconditionally.

You cover the writings on your left wrist with your right palm, your heart beating erratically. You took one one huge breath and slowly lifting your palm from your wrist.

Kim Seokjin. 2016.09.21

The date below the name marks the time you'll meet him. The time you'll finally meet your destined one.

"Kim Seokjin, wait for me will you?" You whispered to no one in particular, but hoping the wind would carry this special message to that special someone.

***

How you met wasn’t as incredible--fireworks exploding  in the background or a mariachi band serenading you. Or like those cliche movies, where they bump into each other, or you accidentally falling in front of him. It was surprisingly normal, but it definitely was as special and amazing.

Kim Seokjin is a tall man with dark hair and an adorable smile. His favorite drink is an iced americano and he works part time at a book store and a local mart.

You were on your way to campus, stopping at a coffee shop you frequently visit. You skipped all the way from home to the coffee shop, excited by the fact that today is the day you'll finally be able to meet Kim Seokjin.

You stepped inside, and went straight to the booth ordering your usual caramel macchiato. You moved to the waiting section and waited for your order, but something caught your eye.

There, your name was written in a beautiful script on a strangers wrist. You blink your eyes multiple times and checking the writing. It's still there.

"Kim Seokjin-sshi?" You ask timidly, trying to suppress the excitement bubbling inside.

He turned his head and smiled, and you swore everything was frozen in place except you two. Your vision blurred out everything except for him.

'He wont be able to see my wrist! Come on Y/N think! What should you do so that he'll realize that his name is written on your wrist?' You waved your left hand, exposing your wrist to him. 'It's a bit awkward but that'll do' you concvinced yourself to not show any discomfort but your cheeks and face disobeys you. Your cheeks heat up, with a shade of red decorating it.

Eventhough it seems impossible, his smile grew even brighter after realising that it's his name written on your wrist.

"So Y/N, would you like to sit with me today?"

'Well classes be damned.'

"I'd love to Seokjin."

****

AAAA THATS IT GUYS FOR MY COMEBACK PIECEEEE!!! i’m sorry i havent been active.. the burden of school is just weighing me downnnnnn... I’m glad and thankful that a lot of u is still following this blogg!!! I’ll surely work harder to produce imagines and scenarios. like and reblog everyoneee!!!! i’ll post the second part of this story next week <3

feel free to request any scenarios or imaginess!!! just tell me who and i’ll make one. LUVZ

-admin Sky 

[tumblunni]

WHY CAN I NEVER SLEEP WHEN I NEED TO SLEEEEEEP

aaa i’ve been really ill and i didnt get enough sleep yesterday and last week so i really need to take a good ol afternoon nap here i mean why the fuck did i even oversleep til 3pm?? i need to get back to sleep cos i’m still Totally Dying Here

but then AAAAAAAAAA I just got an email from the Re:Legend team!! that really cool game I kickstarted backed for like £700!! They’re opening the mailbox for people’s entries who bought the design a monster tier, and it doesnt say when the deadline is and AAAA I basically did nothing towards designing my monster since last august aaaaa i forgot about it cos there was such a long break between the kickstarter ending and now...

so like FUCK should I just buy a bunch of Monster Energy and try and blitz draw as fast as I can?? I’m already dizzy from sleep deprivation but i mean i cant get to sleep anyway now that im so excited for this!! I can be awake and tired and unable to draw good or i can be awake and buzzed as fuck and dying but DRAWING SWEET MONSTROS

also i also have to design an npc and a weapon aaaa and they say ‘make your anime you to have a place in the game!’ but like.. I literally cannot make a me cos yknow Gender. I don’t know if they’d accept a nonbinary character, or like.. if I’d have the same situation as poor Corlal from Summon Night and get turned male in the dub because ‘its easier’ >_> I just know that the game’s team was talking about how they probably won’t be able to give an answer on whether gay marriage options will be in the game until much later in development. They want to do it but gay marriage isn’t legalized yet in the country the game is being made in, and they’re being published by square enix so we also dunno how much impact they’d have on changing stuff in the game. So yeah I wanted to maybe just make a random npc to fit into the universe instead. But my first idea was ‘gay blacksmith man who loves you’ so EVIDENTELLY I AM NO GOOD AT THIS (i might put him in one of my own projects tho lol, he has a really cool tattoos! his personality is a bit too similar to Blair tho so maybe not in my big dating sim idea. Or maybe I could give blair his tattoos??) And then AAAA they already have a really cool grandpa that I cannot defeat :( look at this grandpa u guys

he’s the mayor and he’s cool and i am very excited to learn more about his personality and stuff cos he looks very silly! HE’S A VENTRILOQUIST WITH AN OWL AND HE ALSO LOOKS LIKE ONE

also this is my current fave of the revealed monsters

and this is my second fave

and this is my third fave

and these are all the cool weapon types and seriously I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DESIGN AAA SHOULD I MAKE ONE OF EACH???

(also greatsword, dual blade, bow and magic staff which were the first revealed and don’t have a fancy splash image)

and just generally AAAAA dis game AAAA I dont wanna miss the deadline and not get a chance to leave a mark on it but also AAAA I don;t know how to draw like fifty things in a week and not have them look terrible and especially if i’m wasting half that week on recovering from illness! SO yeah FUCK U BRAIN AND GOOD HEALTHFULNESS i’m gonna go buy way too many energy drinks and Die

brb lol

...

OH OH OH ONE THING BEFORE I GO, DUH, OMG

here’s a refresher on my monster design so far its name is sombul and it is a sleepy peep WHICH IS IRONIC COS IM GONNA GO INSOMNIAC TO FINISH IT

not sure which colourscheme is better

possible idea if the backer monsters are allowed to have breedable colours/patterns like the regular monsters are

kinda shitty scribbles of a prevolution maybe??

cos the reason I’m so AAAA right now is that we have to have a three stage evo line and i don’t know what else to give it? I had a vague idea for a final form but no clue what to go in-between, so then i was thinking maybe this is the in-between and it has a baby form but i couldnt think of any designs that weren’t just the same thing but smaller T_T final form idea is like a big spoopy four armed ghost knight with an aesthetic similar to NiGHTS but buff? but it’d still be the same scaredy cat sleepy hug monster, it just evolved to look scary so people will leave it alone XD maybe name it Lucidfer or something else thats a pun on awake? or man i don’t know if I’d be allowed to make it a two stage evo??? or a branching one so its still three monsters but in a different order?? I may as well design all of these ideas and be like ‘pick whichever one fits the game best’, i guess? MAKE MORE WORK FOR YOURSELF, BUNNI, THATS A SMART IDEA

aaaa now i will go shove caffeine in my face and die brbrbrbbrbbbbb