#a) the age thing is non negotiable guys

[hatterhare]

this has been me since the beetlejuice, beetlejuice trailer dropped bc i have been bombarded by beetlebabes content ever since, and it absolutely disgusts me to my core what is wrong with people

[jaeyunzzx]

watch me. — felix & chan

Contains non negotiated voyerism, walking in on, pervert!felix, amab reader, bottom!chan

chan who can’t keep his mouth shut for more than five seconds, no matter how many times you tell him to be quiet his mouth shoots back open; shameless moans falling from his tongue whilst your cock showed him no mercy. chan who feeds off of the way your body’s slide together, the way your sweaty abdomen feels pressed against his back has him almost crying; he loves feeling so close to you, it was like you guys were merging as one. chan who is blissfully unaware aware of his best friend standing in the doorway, the door wasn’t open fully but it was just enough to see what was happening, although you could already tell what was going on from a mile away.

felix who, despite his best efforts, can’t help but watch chan get fucked into the mattress, his thighs shaking and eyes squeezed shut. The younger knew it was wrong to watch but he just couldn’t help it, he’s always wanted to see you like this, and now he has the perfect opportunity. felix who allows his hand to snake down his body, cupping his crotch harshly as his ears picked up every little sound, the main thing being chan’s endless moans and pleas for you to not stop.

“Ngh!- fuck right there! Please y/n..please don’t stop!-”

felix gasped at chan’s words, the pure filthiness of it all went straight to his twitching cock, he wondered if it was him who was getting fucked; would he say the same things? He felt dirty for watching, and by now he was sure either you or chan had noticed him, but all his shame left his body; all felix could focus on was the way you fucked chan and how his palm slowly worked at his dick through his sweatpants.

a/n: this is a lil short but I’m trying out other writing styles and this has been in my drafts for ages.

@ihrtlixx don’t repost/translate any of my works!

[lafleshlumpeater]

hi i’ve been trying to find someone perfect for my request cause tbh it’s one i’ve been thinking about for a while and i think your writing and style is absolutely amazing and idk i want you for my request. i understand you usually write fem readers but if you could please make like a gn!reader i would really really really appreciate it!! i was thinking a luke castellan x reader and everyone always jokes about you guys dating but you’ve never really had a crush on him. and then he suggests you guys just start fake dating just to make it better, and then you end up falling for him and just like yeah. fake dating to lovers yall please. thank you so much for even considering!!!

OMG. ANON. you flatter me too much, ilysm for this. i hope i did this justice and i'm so sorry for the long wait <3 (there will definitely be more than one part to this!!)

warnings: gn!reader (pls lmk if i accidentally used any gendered language so i can fix it), teasing, percabeth being 'that' couple- it's not really specified whether this is book!luke or disney!luke but for any future requests if you'd like a particular one don't be afraid to ask <3

luke castellan masterlist

“So,” Annabeth begins, clearing her throat, and just from the teasing cadence lilting her voice, you already know what she’s itching to comment on. You exhale, rolling your eyes and praying internally to every god in existence that you know of to spare you from this incessant battle. “You and Luke, training together.” She makes a pretence at nonchalance- you know her better than that.

“Yes, Annabeth,” you sigh as you take a sip of water. “Just like how practically everyone else in camp has also done. You included.” Excluding Percy, it was non-negotiable; Luke was the most experienced and skilled fighter at camp. Everyone was eager to learn a thing or two from him, and understandably so.

“Yeah, but, like- the chemistry.” The blonde counters, rubs her hands together deviously. “No-one else in camp has that with him.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with your boyfriend.” Percy; the main instigator of all of your friends, and even campers who you didn’t even know too well, encouraging the idea that there was something inexplicable going on between you and Luke Castellan. You couldn’t sympathise with the notion whatsoever- apparently, two people being of the same age and occasionally passing time together who also happen to be paired up with one another in most affairs (no doubt with the meddling of Chiron, which Luke himself seemed blissfully oblivious to), meant they were suddenly applicable for a relationship which goes beyond the boundaries of platonic.

You didn’t get it whatsoever.

“Speak of the devil,” Annabeth starts, the remnants of her scheming smirk blooming into something more genuine and pure at the sight of her boyfriend walking towards the pair of you. 

“I saw Luke just now.” The playful quip forming regarding the lack of greeting from him dies on your tongue. You couldn’t be dealing with this now- all you wanted was a productive day of training followed by a bitingly cold shower. Instead, you’re being verbally taunted- by your friends, no less- about how good of a match you are for the Hermes boy. It’s a painstakingly obvious reminder about how life never goes a demigod’s way.

The tall boy jabs a thumb vaguely behind his shoulder, his free arm sneaking around his girlfriend’s waist. Absently, she leans into him, the sickeningly sweet reaction automatic. “He was like, completely red in the cheeks. Blushing. And then he tells me the two of you were sparring just now?” His lips quirk into a grin, all teeth and mischief. “Very interesting.” You open your mouth again, with no particular retort in mind. “Oh no, but it’s all coincidental,” he continues, feigning a solemn tone. “Right. That’s my bad.”

Annabeth snorts at Percy’s antics as he holds his hands up as if in mock surrender when you swat at his shoulder. “We were sparring, Percy. Obviously he was going to be red in the face. Out of breath and all.”

He nods gravely, lips set in a straight line. You narrow your eyes, distrustful towards the mirth shimmering in his irises. “Out of breath from being so close to you.” He swoons as if imitating Luke, hands clasped together and batting his eyes up at an unknown entity- you correctly assume this imaginary being is supposedly you.

Before you can tell him off like you have oh-so-many-times in the past, he sobers up of his own accord, lips twitching from the effort of suppressing a well-humoured grin. His eyes flit to somewhere behind one of your shoulders. “Hi, Luke.”

You turn on your heel instantly. He’s standing in front of you, cheeks still tinted a delicate pink, a mere ghost of what Percy had sworn to, hair ruffling slightly in the breeze, the muted colour of his eyes a stark contrast to the startling neon of his camp t-shirt. You curse your friend to the high heavens, taking a mental note to throttle him later. “Hey.” 

He nods briefly to all parties, before redirecting his attention to you. “I forgot earlier. I’d like to talk to you about something.” He shifts slightly, repositioning himself so he looks less uncertain, back straightening and arms folded across his chest. “If you don’t mind.”

You glance behind you at the indiscreetly tittering couple, obviously amused at your expense. No matter how oblivious Luke may have been towards the magnitude of your mutual friends who were certain that the two of you were destined soulmates and it was just a matter of time and waiting, he wasn’t blind to the fact that the common belief was there. Especially now, with Percy and Annabeth whistling and hooting in a manner which was meant to be encouraging behind you. As if they didn’t take years to acknowledge that they had painfully blatant feelings for one another.

“No, yeah, we can talk,” you say casually. The two of you begin to walk, side by side, facing forward. For a few beats, there’s silence.

The quiet itself isn’t uncomfortable- the anticipation and tension of waiting for what he has to say, is.

“I want to say sorry,” Luke commences, simultaneously shattering the silence, previously only permeated by distant chatter and careless laughter. Fixing him with a befuddled frown, you rotate your head to look at him- he’s facing forward, hands are stationary in his pockets, side profile the only thing in your field of view. “I don’t know when or how, but for some reason everyone has the idea that I’m…” You watch him ponder for a moment or two, wondering how to phrase the predicament in a manner which isn’t too blunt. Dread climbs up your throat. “- romantically interested in you.”

Oh. So he isn’t as oblivious as you’d hoped.

“No, it’s all good.” You muster a polite smile, though you’re internally dying. Whether it’s from the fact that it’s being mentioned aloud, or him actually acknowledging it, or the way you can see two of your siblings brazenly ogling the interaction in your peripherals as you try to ignore them in vain, you’re clueless. “It’s not your fault… or anyone’s really.”

“I know,” he says, a tad quicker than you finish. He raises his eyebrows, suppressing a self-satisfied smirk directed in the distance. “But anyways, I think I have a solution.”

Your interest is piqued. Anything to stop the rumours that the two of you had kissed behind the Apollo cabin, to silence the snorts and innuendos thrown at you whenever Luke’s name was mentioned in your vicinity. “Really?”

He swivels to face you, halting the little stroll. You mimic his movements. “A possible solution. I mean, it would definitely work, but-.”

You tilt your head at him quizzically. “Then why is it only ‘possible’?”

He inhales. “It involves you. A lot. And you might not want to do this.”

“Do what?” Your impatience amplifies with Luke’s every ambiguous phrase. What is he thinking of?

He looks around, ensuring there’s no-one in earshot. “Date me.”

He says it so coolly, so quickly, you think you’ve heard him wrong. He must be talking about the weather, or about the arrival of a new camper, or-

Your eyes are fixed on him, jaw slack. “What?”

Eyes widening in understanding, he realises his mistake, backtracking quickly. “Not, like, dating-dating. Fake dating. Pretending to be in a relationship.” He lets it sink in for a second. “Everyone would shut up about how good we are for each other, and how we should start dating, because we actually would be. Or it would look like it, anyways. But it’s your choice.” He gauges your expression as you mull it over.

He has a point. Multiple, in fact. It’s not that you’re disgusted at the prospect of being paired with Luke- you’ve just… never considered it before, the thought foreign. The relationship between the both of you has always been friendly, borderline formal, even. So it would be nice to live your life without the unrelenting teasing and mocking from half the camp…

“Sure,” you say, attempting to mirror his casual demeanour. “I don’t mind.” His surprise directed at your compliance is evident; his eyebrows arch slightly.

He smiles at you, bemused, eyes reflecting the golden rays of sun beaming down from the summer sky. “Cool.”

An uncertain, electric thrill rushes through you. Nothing like this has ever happened before, and it’s so exhilarating already, and even more exciting. The pair of you shake on it- what’s the worst that could happen?

idk how to feel about this but i hope you like it<3

taglist: @doyouknowwhoyouare13 @explosiongamora @brutal-out-here @absolutely-existing @quickslvxrr @bibliophile-dendrophile

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

[shiningshenanigans]

If I had a nickle…

For every time I shipped a guy and a girl…

Where the guy comes from a semi-privileged background and stable home life (albeit with a very dysfunctional family who is kinda mean to him)…

and the girl is a scavenger who has been fighting to survive her whole life because of a totalitarian regime…

and they’re forced into a situation where they have to work together and kinda start getting attached to each other…

and the guy is HOPELESSLY head-over-heals besotted and in love with the girl and, like, doesn’t even try to hide it… 

and the girl… kinda likes him back? But like it’s hard to tell? Because like I said, Girl has been fighting to survive her whole life, and is still very much in survival mode, and her fight-or-flight response is so through the roof right now it’s hard for her to feel that way about anyone at the moment…

also there’s kind of a rebellion/revolution going on against the totalitarian regime I mentioned earlier, and Girl is very focused on killing The Leader of said totalitarian regime, so romance is kinda the last thing on her mind…

but also their love is like this weird powerful force that’s fueling said rebellion, so she can’t really get away from it?

And she acts super cold and indifferent toward him but the second he’s in any kind of danger she immediately throws herself under the bus to save him…

(by the way they balance each other out really well, because Guy is not really much of a fighter, but he’s super charming and good at negotiating with people so he helps Girl grow in that area, cause she’s really bad at it)…

and they’re being mentored by a slightly cynical middle-aged man who “loves a good drink”…

(who totally has a crush on his cute-but-brainwashed-by-the-badguys female superior)…

oh yeah and remember The Leader of the totalitarian regime I mentioned earlier? He’s, like, weirdly invested in their love story and has been watching it unfold this whole time…

(and we don’t really know why he’s so obsessed with them, other then that they remind him of a situationship he was in ages ago, which ended really badly because he was paranoid, so now he’s living vicariously through them while at the same time scrambling to maintain the fragile power of his regime or something like that)…

and he keeps using his power to make them play weird games where he constantly tries to pit them against each other and get one of them to kill the other… 

(he actually does almost brainwash the guy into killing the girl at some point, but Guy wakes up and is like “Naw man, I’m in love with her, I will endure endless psychological torture before I do that.”)

and don’t forget, “This series is actually incredibly profound and thought-provoking and has some really deep things to say about freedom and government control and the value of human life, but for some reason nobody wants to talk about those things because all they care about is shipping drama (even though shipping should be a non-issue because the narrative makes it 100% clear who the cannon romance is)…”

…I’d have two nickels.

Say it with me kids…

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 1 - MONTH MINUS 6 - THE CONSULTATION

The specialest of special thanks to @ayviedoesthings for creating the original Dragon HRT story, and a big shoutout as well to @kaylasartwork, @welldrawnfish, @nyxisart, and @deadeyedfae for their takes on the concept! Every one of you is inspirational, and your work gives me so much second-hand gender euphoria!

Next

---

"Miss Alexis, please come in."

I look around as I walk inside. Between the doctor being a balding middle-aged man and the office looking like any generic doctor's office, I'm honestly a little disappointed. I was hoping the infamous source of therian HRT would be a little more… I don't know. Exotic? Unique? I was half expecting the walls to have before and after photographs of clients, but I suppose when it comes down to it, this is a serious medical facility, not a beauty salon. I walk up to the desk and sit down in the chair.

"Now I understand you wish to be a… a tiger?"

I'm unable to suppress my euphoria at the idea, and I start grinning and nodding. "A white tiger! I haven't changed my fursona since I got one, it's about time I start embodying it!"

"Indeed… And I see on your medical history that you are transgender." He mutters under his breath, "Just like all the others…"

I give a little smirk. 'All the others' are the reason I'm here. If this guy is handing out meds that can turn people into dragons or fish or bats, then a tiger should be easy, right? It's a mammal, and not much bigger than a human, relatively speaking. I had even given some thought to the rumoured "Fifteen Minute Shortcut", but when it comes down to it, even if I did have the ungodly pain tolerance to withstand such a rapid transformation of my bone structure and musculature, I… don't really want to do it quickly. Mundane HRT has already been such an absolute gift in terms of euphoria from noticing the slow and gradual changes, I want to keep that up. I want to notice the little things.

"Now I'm afraid there are some requirements to be settled first…"

Oh boy. Here comes the bureaucratic bullshit. Everything that's been put in place to make sure Our Children don't Make A Terrible Mistake. When it comes down to it, bodily autonomy only counts when you're not one of the weirdos. The instant you decide to be capital-d Different, people start falling over themselves trying to talk you out of it.

"First of all, I see that you have been taking human hormone therapy for a little over six months. We do require a full year of human treatment before beginning therian treatments, and I'm afraid that is fully non-negotiable. There are matters of biology that require the body to be a certain degree of… receptive."

I was afraid of this, but at least it's not a deal-killer. Another half-year is bearable, even if I am going to be shaking with anticipation the entire time.

"I also see you have letters from a practicing physician and a social worker, but we do require a second psychologist to be involved in the process."

Okay. Absolute horseshit, but not impossible. All I've got to do is find another social worker or psychologist. And pay them for several months of sessions. And hope they don't decide I'm crazy for wanting to throw away my humanity. I can feel my expression souring…

"It's also required to live as your desired species for at least a year before beginning the process."

"What." I'm leaning forward and glaring at the doctor before I fully realize it. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that, without the… the requisite biology, or the inborn instincts, or the… the habitat!" I let out a frustrated growl. "Am I supposed to fly off to India or Bangladesh or somewhere, and start camping out in the wilderness??"

"Miss Alexis, please, I'm afraid these are… are the requirements set forth by the guidelines of -"

"Guidelines!" I slam a palm down on the desk between us, before letting out a frustrated breath. "Just that… Guidelines. You know, and I know, that a lot of people have come to you already, with a lot more… exotic requests. Flying animals? Aquatic animals? A fucking DRAGON??"

The doctor seems taken aback, maybe he didn't expect this level of resistance.

"What is even the natural habitat of a dragon anyway? Or the diet? Or the behaviours in the wild?? It's a mythical creature for gods' sakes, there's no firm evidence they even existed!!" I stare at him, unblinkingly, with what I dearly hope is a predatory glare. "But I do get it, though. You have to be absolutely sure I won't regret it. Liability, or whatever. …Maybe we just need to know how hard I can BITE."

Something changes in his expression. ...Malice? No, not quite. A sort of… satisfaction, maybe.

It was a test. He wanted to know whether I'd just roll over and accept the impossibility of my quest, or whether I was prepared to fight for it.

Joke's on him, just getting human HRT was such a godsdamned hassle, I already know how to fight.

He adjusts his glasses. "Perhaps there is something I can do for you… Let me get you some forms."

[writingforatwistedworld]

Wanted to write something self-indulgent so that I don't get too burned out from only doing requests.

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsebility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, masquerade event spoilers, obsession, unhealthy relationship, religion

My works are meant for entertainment only! Nothing in here is meant seriously nor exists to offend any religious/cultural/... group

Player is a real God

God of justice and kindness

My my, it seems like you have chosen to have a fanatic like him to be your follower

Oh, that was only a small side effect of him being him? Whoops...

But let's be honest, this man is obsessed with the idea of non-magicians being “pure” so you could probably imagine that he is all in all a rather... uh... not-so-negotiable person once we are talking about his goals and ideals

So here you are, standing on the tower, battling him with the others... you the poor magicle-WHAT IS THAT??!

I guess your patience was finally done so you just decided to end things once and for all... or maybe your justice senses or whatever was lingering and you just wanted to slap him really bad in the name of “justice” (nah you were just annoyed)

After all of that Malleus being creepily mushy the celebration happened and whom do my tired and totally not overworked eyes spot in that crowd? Exactly. The guy who you just slapped into the next world for a few seconds

But why the heck are his eyes holding such an interesting light... annnddd he is your follower. Mhm. Yup. You have seen that look before

Now that he can't just take everyone's magic with a few weeds he might as well search for another way to reach his goal all whilst following you and praying like his life depends on it

To be honest... he probably thinks it does

But how could he resist such a perfect diety like you? The scared lein one hand, balancing good and evil and a soft look in your eyes...

Yes, you are truly a God worthy of his attention and devotion

But my my seems like some students have gone missing... haven't they questioned your authority just a few days ago?

Since “Yandere themes” is in my warnings you probably already have a hunch about what is going on

A God that knows nothing but pure kindness, treating non-magical and magical beings alike all whilst making sure that those that deserve punishment when needed is something so good he wouldn't even be able to have that kind of existing in his dreams

But whoops, seems like you are real and here right beside him after all

And if you turn your gaze away? This must be his fault for not getting rid of magic sooner

Soon you will see him with even deeper eyebags mumbling something about “needing to prove himself useful”

Please talk and stop him, we don't need another crisis

[johannestevans]

My Top Stories for 2023!

In case you missed ’em: these were my most popular works of fiction and non-fiction of the year!

It’s very nearly 2024, and it’s been a big year for me! 

I’ve published so many short stories and new essays, I had a great time at EasterCon and BristolCon, and have published pieces with several new (for me!) publications on top of moving into my new apartment. I’m now based in Yorkshire instead of Ireland, and that means I’ll be attending a bunch more conventions and other events across Wales, Scotland, and England as well as still going back to Ireland from time to time. 

Firstly, as a big thank you to all my supporters and to ring in the new year, I’m currently doing an end-of-2023 giveaway! Sign up here! 

On 01/01/2024, I’ll be drawing a winner of the giveaway, and they’ll receive by post / mail signed copies of my paperbacks, Heart of Stone and Gerald Poole and the Pirates, vouchers for my eBooks, some badges, and some other goodies that will be contained in the parcel. 

Secondly, I wanted to remind people who’ve had a little bonus or gifted money and want to treat themselves that as well as being able to subscribe for access to all reader-locked works on Medium, by any authors, for $5 USD, I have a Patreon where I publish almost all my works (barring those that might be against Patreon guidelines, of which there currently aren’t many), there is an option to pay annually on Patreon! 

You can subscribe to me monthly on Patreon for access to my works at £3 / £6 / £10.50 / £17 per month — there’s no difference in the benefits of these tiers, just that you can choose to support me with a subscription for what you can afford. 

If you subscribe annually on Patreon, you get a 16% discount on what you would ordinarily pay monthly, and you get full access to everything for the duration of the year’s subscription! 

With that intro done, let’s get to my top 24!

My Top 12 Fiction Pieces of 2023

January 2023 — Erotic Short: Running the Table

A trans man is the favourite pocket on the pool table.

Rated E. Cis M/trans M/cis M. 4k. Featuring consent play with a prenegotiated rape roleplay, object insertion (not sanitary, not safe, just sexy), double penetration, begging, tears, size difference, age difference, lots of anal play, belly bulging.

Jock and Phineas first appeared in Centre Pocket, where Jock initially makes the threat of the pool balls.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Ao3

February 2023 — Erotic Short: Fresh Bounty

A bounty hunter takes a young wizard to the king’s court.

1.7k, rated E, cis M/trans M! Power play with a lack of negotiation, but fully consensual enthusiasm for it, cockwarming, threatened overstimulation, D/s, implications of public use, and sex on horseback!

CW for a mention of it in dirty talk, but no animals are actually abused, harmed, or looked on sexually.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

March 2023 — Erotic Short: Purpose-Built Toy

A stretchy supervillain goes up against five huge superheroes.

3.2k, rated E. Trans M/5 alien Ms with alien cocks. There is absolutely no redeeming plot features in this, it’s just horrible unrealistic porn with lots of come inflation, objectification, humiliation, and belly kink.

There are several consent issues in this fic, where the trans guy is basically being turned into a fucktoy for these aliens without anyone asking how he feels about it — with that said, he’s really into the whole thing, and absolutely does not want to opt out.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Ao3

April 2023 — Erotic Short: Slime Breeder

An elf is used as a distraction as his party fight a gigantic slime.

3.5k. A trans masc elf getting fucked from all ends by a giant slime creature, used as a seedbed by it, then played with by his variously gendered friends in the aftermath.

Mildly to very dubious consent here, but Sam is absolutely enjoying himself by the end of it — featuring a giant slime monster, aphrodisiacs, tentacle sex, encasement, choking, oviposition and egg-laying, cumflation, overstimulation, anal, oral, and vaginal penetration, objectification, lactation, milking. All that fun and beastly stuff!

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Ao3

May 2023 — Erotic Short: The Mermaid and the Fisherman

A wanderer meets a mermaid, and the two of them work to understand each other.

This short is also available for purchase on Smashwords as an eBook, and is originally from September 2020.

7.3k, rated E, M/M. A young man fleeing home has taken up residence in an old fishing cabin on the west coast of Scotland. He is observed, very closely, by a mermaid from beyond the maerl beds nearby.

Featuring cultural differences, humour, oviposition, cervix penetration, mild chem sex from the mermaid’s aphrodisiac, some rough sex, some mildly dubious consent, stuffing, belly bulge.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

June 2023 — Erotic Short: Agony and Ecstasy

An abbot takes a stranded sailor on for… personal duties.

6k, M/M, rated E! Age difference, virginity kink, some naivety, some oral and anal, first time enthusiasm.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

July 2023 — Erotic Short: The Stasis Box

A prisoner is frozen in time with his holes still accessible for the crew of a mining vessel to use.

5k, rated E, trans M/cis M but hundreds of other people. A trans twink agrees to be involved in an experiment in lieu of his year-long prison sentence — he’s placed in a stasis box, frozen in time, with his holes still accessible for the crew of a mining vessel to make use of.

This is honestly one of the most fucked-up things I’ve ever written, it goes big on the sci-fi body horror fucky horniness.

Full consent is given throughout, the twink knows what he’s in for. Featuring medical kink, fingering, anal and vaginal fingering and sex, sensitivity, time stop, big overstimulation, mind-break and ahegao, objectification, huge come inflation, gaping, come vomiting, general degradation.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

August 2023 — Erotic Short: The Interview

A workplace roleplay with age difference and some hearty degradation.

Rated E, 4k, cis M/trans M. Younger boss/older prospective employee, pre-negotiated roleplay, degradation and humiliation, daddy kink, nipple play, PIV, riding, sex in the office, casual sex, bareback. The older man is fat, but none of the degrading language is about his body or his size except for commenting on the size of his chest — the degradation primarily is about his age and assumed loneliness.

Words used for the trans man’s body are tits and chest, one comparison to a cow’s udder; cock, cunt, hole.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

September 2023 — Erotic Short: Training Toy

A cheerleader loans out his favourite toy to the football players.

3k, rated E, trans M/many cis M. Continuing on from Stuck.

A cheerleader trains up another student to be a good fucktoy, and shares him out to local football players — featuring D/s, multiple orgasms, mild bimboification vibes, training, multiple penetration, degradation, objectification, anal, vaginal, and oral, big penetrations.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Ao3

October 2023 — Erotic Short: A Gift For the Wolfmen

A young man in a brothel is invited to join a quartet of hulking wolf-like warriors.

6.4k, rated E. Two trans men, both being gangbanged by four cis wolfmen with huge cocks.

Fantasy universe with adventurers and so forth. Featuring stuck-through-wall and grope boxes, body writing, vaginal, oral, and anal play, huge come inflation, size difference, knotting, power dynamics, virginity kink, objectification and dehumanisation, degradation, humiliation, breeding kink, body modification, mentions of lactation and pregnancy, and enthusiastic consent throughout.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

November 2023 — Erotic Short: Confession and Penance

A priest takes a hands-on approach to addressing a worshiper’s poor working habits.

11k, cis M/M, rated E! Tiernan, a manipulative workaholic who only ever relaxes during Mass services, is taken aside by Father Mullen when it all gets to be a bit too much. D/s, BDSM-approach to enforcing self-care, spanking, painplay, bit of a priest kink but it doesn’t go into that aspect too much, faith. Also some anal.

Note that by definition consent’s an issue here because this is the very definition of religious abuse, especially because Tiernan is a CSA survivor and references past CSA by another priest. Content warnings for the religious abuse and references to the CSA throughout, as well as dubious consent in other sexual situations. For all that, though, the tone is generally light-hearted and is more dark humour than dark drama.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

December 2023 — Erotic Short: Knight Tactics

An elf serves as a distraction and an exhaustion tactic for a bandit camp. By letting them fuck him.

3k, trans M/loads of cocks, assumed as cis M. Amaethon gets himself stuck in a wall so that the bandits will work out their stamina fucking him rather than fighting off the king’s guard.

Stuck in wall, free use, fully (and gleefully) consensual whilst pretending he isn’t, mild belly bulging and come inflation, gaping, exhaustion, messy and come-spattered, etc. All the fun stuff.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Ao3

My Top 12 Non-Fiction Pieces of 2023

January 2023 — Fast “Who am I?”: A Fun Game to Play with Friends

A silly fun game to play rapidly with your friends and loved ones in 2023.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

February 2023 — Our Flag Means Death S01 E01: Close Textual Analysis

Examining OFMD E1: Pilot in close detail and liveblogging/analysing the text.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Ao3

March 2023 — Ringing The Devil’s Doorbell: A Light-Hearted, Practical Guide

Let’s talk sex! Vulvar and vaginal stimulation for fun, pleasure, and profit.

Contents:

Preface

The Anatomy of the Vulva and Vagina: the actual anatomy of the vulva, it and the vagina’s attendant parts, and how everything fits together

On Testosterone: the effects of testosterone as a HRT treatment on the vulva and vagina in the context of sexual pleasure

(I don’t have any specific advice in regards to different intersex configurations or further genital and hormonal diversity, but that section might nonetheless be semi-relevant; there’s also some notes on vaginal atrophy that might be relevant if you’re menopausal or similar)

Stimulating the Vulva and Vagina: ringing the Devil’s doorbell, dancing about in his vestibule, and then running into (then out of) (then into) (then out o — ) his house

Additional Reading: more resources and links

Read on Medium

April 2023 — The Precarity of Subscription-Based Income

We’re basically busking online. No wonder we have anxiety about it.

Read on Medium 

May 2023 — The Straight Male Gaze on Pretty Male Gays

How does it feel when straight men want to fuck us?

A quick little intro — I went ham on this one. I watched A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge and it just gave me a lot of feelings.

Warnings throughout this piece for discussion of the film’s gore and violence, the homophobia both in- and out- of universe, sexual violence, homophobia in general. I use a lot of slurs in this one because I self-identify with a lot of them, and a lot of this piece is about the ways in which queer identity is weaponised and not weaponised against us.

Bon appetit.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

June 2023 — Passing Privilege: Through My Eyes, as a Trans Man Who Passes

Second puberty and the waves we send through the spaces around us.

On Medium / / On Patreon / / On Tumblr.

July 2023 — Yentl: A Trans Man Studying Talmud is Distracted by Gay Thoughts

Yentl (1983, dir. Barbra Streisand) and Yentl the Yeshiva Boy by Isaac Bashevis Singer.

On Medium / / On Patreon.

August 2023 — Barbie Isn’t Anti-Men — It’s Anti-Toxicity

Patriarchy does damage to us all, and Barbie (2023, dir. Greta Gerwig) clearly depicts that.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

September 2023 — Close Reading: A Deep Dive into the Process

An in-depth guide into applying analysis to a piece of text and extrapolating meaning.

A close reading is what we call an in-depth analysis of a piece of text, which might be in the case of fiction a short story, or for novels and novellas might be a portion or an extract from the text.

On Medium / / On Patreon.

October 2023 — Looking For 🍑🍆💦: A Beginner’s Guide to Grindr for Trans Men

Approaching Grindr (and cruising culture) as a trans man.

Read on Medium

November 2023 — As a Trans Man, Why Do Doctors Always Want to Get Me Pregnant?

I’m so tired of fielding questions about my “lost” fertility.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

December 2023 — Uncling Duties

A selection of conversations with my friends’ cats, Kira and Bercow.

On Medium / / On Patreon.

[americascomic]

Hello. I sat here for a good 30 minutes trying to think of best how to ask this question without giving the online version of an annoying exposition dump, so I hope this somewhat makes sense: I’ve found myself, increasingly, having conversations with the more tenderqueer-esque queers in my life surrounding slurs- specifically slurs like faggot and tranny. I’m a trans guy, and I was told by another trans guy of the genre of person i just mentioned that only gay men can reclaim the word faggot, and trans women can reclaim the word tranny. I thought this was a stupid and gatekeep-y idea, and told him so, but i have been genuinely wondering if this is just a manifestation of terminally online induced queer infighting or a form of ignorant transmisogyny on my part. Is tranny a slur directed at and only to be reclaimed by trans women? Or is it just another tick in the barrel of a long line of slur speciation discourse?

I think the short answer of who can say what slur is "this is terminally online bullshit"

And my second answer is "this is a conversation that mostly people under the age of 30 have, and people mostly online have." I think the age is important - it's feels like it's a developmental phase a lot of queers go through, where they negotiate their identity." So, like I'm patient (if a little irked) when I see it on my feed. Or hear some dipshit socially awkward t-femme at Bluestockings rudely chime in to a conversation I'm having with a friend.

and I sometimes put it as a hypothetical;

I'm telling you right now, as a trans woman, in my lived experience, people of your exact intersecting identities are only allowed to say the word "tranny" on a Tuesday and "faggot" on a Friday. If you forget, remember 'tranny' and 'Tuesday' starts with 'T' and 'faggot' and 'Friday' starts with 'F'

Like, that's absurd for me to ask. And so I think that kind of forces the thought that at the end of the day I'm the one asking it. There'll be no consensus on this issue.; you have to decide for yourself whatever or not to respect one point of view over the other.

We say "listen to black people" but I had this moment in my life where IRL I did a call-out of Nazis in my community and a Black friend told me that I was talking over people of color and another thanked me for speaking up in a way that they wouldn't be listened to. Who is right? Neither. Both. You have to decide for yourself and have a strong sense of race. Same with interacting with our own queer community.

Who can say what queer slur where and when is a thing that can never be litigated online. It's such an interpersonal person-to-person thing. There's no pundit square that can fit all slurs and all identities and all experiences.

in the case of the teen in the previous story who told me not to use the word "tranny," I immediately retorted that people say that word to me on the street and spit at me, which means they recognize it as a thing of power and so I will use that power. And I don't think she'd ever had copped to it, but I think changed her mind because she was saying "tranny" over the next months.

I think for some of this shit, us trans women policing who can say "tranny" is us just doing a proxy war for transmisogny. Like, we get transmisogny in our community, an AFAB person queer person of some type who could probably leverage their privilege against us says "tranny," I can see it irking some. But, have you met a trans woman? Everything irks us. We're reprehensible.

And, I think in terms of your conversation and your friend. I dunno, I think of who-gets-to-be-lesbian discourse. I see so many people online twist in the wind trying to justify to others that they're a trans masc lesbian, or a non-binary lesbian or a bisexual lesbian and I'm kinda sitting there on my ass wondering why they're trying so hard to get probably the dumbest people online to justify our identity. Like, we're hear, we're queer, get used to it. I sometimes feel of the matter that we're all a mass medium as one and just going about shit without apology as a way to force people to confront our humanity.

Iffen you want my personal feelings on the matter, you're just as impacted by the codified violence of the state that's imposed on us and so we're all faggots at the end of the day. But the t-girl sitting next to me might feel differently, and you have to negotiate with that. Sometimes times calls for moments of respect and sometimes it's a matter of saying "fuck it" and doing the thing you know how it is.

If you would like, I can draw you a card that says "Amber, a hot trans woman, says I can say 'faggot'"

Finally, I'll say I wrote a couple paragraphs for you so I'm going to force you to return the favor and just challenge you to sit on your ass and ask yourself in honest ways what the word means and what it means to you and what's beautiful and what's ugly about the word. That - an internal process - a lot more valuable thing worth to litigate then everybody in-community being cops to each other.

And then after that, I always like to challenge people to look beyond the debate. This post I made on the matter is about a dead trans teen. It's nice to debate words, but it's also nice to look out at our wonderful, annoying community, name problems we see that creates material struggle, and then imagine solutions.

[green-kat331]

My Friend Spider-man

Pt 1 : Friendly Neighborhood Reporter

(Non-specific! spider-man x reader)

A/N: This is a spider-man from no specific universe, game, comic, or movie, so let me clear some stuff up about Peter. He's a college student (about 18-19 y/o), and He's an intern at the Daily Bugle. You have been his friend since high school and are also in college and working at The Bugle.

warning: Gun, Swearing?

Walking through the streets of Queens New York is no easy task. 

Your satchel bounced on your hip with each quick step. Today, you had to bring in your most recent reports to The Bugle. Something about a recent sports award or a shiny prize of some sort, you were practically asleep writing the damn thing. Judging by the busy crowd, you weren't gonna make it to save yourself from Jameson's lecture. Although the only thing he ever seems to talk about recently is Spider-man. 

The web-slinging hero has been on everyone's mind recently since yet another save from a superbad villain. You can still see caution tape on a few buildings if you just walk a few blocks. 

Now you're waiting towards the crosswalk when suddenly your arm is harshly pulled into an ally, and a gun is held to your stomach. A man cornered you and demanded your bag. 

"Hand it over, and I won't have to use this one you." 

"I- I swear I don't have anything very valuable in here for you to take. I have reports for my job that's it- I don't even carry a lot of cash on me—" you stutter through your stunned state trying to negotiate your way out of it, even though you know it's pointless 

"I said hand it over!" He demands a little louder now. 

Then another man runs into the alley, about the same age as the first man "Yo hurry up, we gotta get outta here," he whispered 

"Alright! I got it," the first man answers and starts to forcibly pull your bag off your shoulder, but you held on tight. The shaking forced the latch to release, and most of your reports spilled out of the bag. At the same time, the man shot the gun into the air, forcing you to let go and cover your ears. The two men ran out of the alley and into the city streets. 

You're left now alone with no choice but to salvage the papers you could. You held up the report by its edge. Now stained due to water and mud, the text was barely visible and the color was an ugly shade of brown. 

"Ugh...Dammit, " you mumble. To be frank, your pride was more hurt than anything. They were clearly disorganized and young. It felt like you got robbed by a couple of teenagers. 

You look around for any way to hold or dry the pages without damaging them. 

Suddenly, a loud scream catches your attention, then a loud bang makes you jump, and you see the guys that just robbed you wrapped in webs and stuck on a dumpster. Staring in confusion, you wonder where the hero that dropped the men off might be. 

Your question was soon answered. 

"This belong to you?" A voice says now behind you. 

The suddenness of the voice made you jump and turn around. you see the web-slinging vigilante hanging upside-down holding your satchel. You take a step back and stare at the masked hero. He tilts his head in wonder, then comes down from his web and hands you the bag properly. 

"Uh... thank you, Spider-man" A smile couldn’t help but appear on your face

"What this? Oh, it's no problem. Just doing what any good ol' Samaritan woulda done." He expressed even waving his hands in the air and leaning on the alley wall.

You chuckled a bit at his casualness. He spoke as though he'd known you forever. Guess they don't call him 'Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man' for nothing.

3 years he's been at this. For the entirety of your senior year, you've been invested in the good deeds he has committed. Whether it's helping an old woman or keeping the green goblin from blowing up the entire city. 

"So you, Report for the Bugle?" He asks, pointing at the papers. Coming out of your own thoughts. You see the muddy report with the mentioned newspaper logo in bold.

"yeah.. Yeah!.. Don't worry about Jameson. Trust me, not everyone there thinks he's right 100% of the time, especially about you. I don't read his blocks about you anyways," you ramble, kneeling down and picking up the rest of the reports.

"You a word-of-mouth type of person?" 

"... yeah... you could say that..."You respond 

Awkward silence

"...sorry... it's my first time getting robbed, Soo… Y' know I'm still...processing... Well maybe you don't actually know what it's like cuz- y'know-- you're spider-man.. i mean have you ever been robbed? sorry! That''s a stupid question. of course not" You ramble nervously tucking hair behind your ear and rubbing the back of your neck.

He chuckles. Then kneels down, and takes the papers from your arms, also doing his best to shake them dry. He puts them back into your bag, then shoots a web out of the ally "Next time you need my help, be sure to holler and I'll come swinging for you." he says with a wave and swings away. 

You wave back, staring at where he disappeared from, calmly you walk out of the ally preparing yourself for Jameson's lecture, but little does he know a spark of inspiration appeared from that brief encounter. 

Hopefully, today will be your day. 

---

You walk into The Bugle, moving past all the other reporters and editors running around the room. The sound of printers and typing almost made you walk right back out of the door, but you pushed through. 

"Hey,(____)." You hear Peter say. 

If you had to pick the most likable person in the office, Peter Parker would take the #1 spot every time. While people gave you sly looks for being a 'kid' in the work place. He never failed to greet you each morning occasionally with a coffee if you're lucky. 

You quickly greet him back, then immediately go into Jameson's office. 

"You're late." He states, not even bothering to look up at you. You rested the urge to choke him. 

"I know - I uhh I ran into an issue on my way -" 

"Put them on my desk then get working on the other files. They're on your desk. I want these all done by the end of the day" 

As you begin to take the files out, you try to talk, "I was actually thinking of asking if I could -"

"Jesus, they're filthy. Print out more and—" 

"I WAS ROBBED!" You finally shout, interrupting the prideful man "on the way here, that's why I'm late and why the papers are.. like that..." You finished now calmly.

He pauses 

"Well you’re alive arent you? Did they take anything?" He asks. You sigh. Finally, he listened. "No. That's what I wanted to talk about. My stuff was given back because Spiderman caught them and returned my items. I want to do a report on him and all the great things he's done. ," 

"The great things!? He is a menace! We shouldn't be celebrating his crimes -" 

"—I won't even ask for payment on this report. Come on, Mr. Jameson, why spend the entirety of your career shouting in papers and broadcasts about something you don't even like? For a few months is all I ask, I'll shine a different light on the vigilante while also doing my usual reports. 

The older man thinks for a moment. "Think of your blood pressure," you quickly add-in. He glares at you, knowing the numerous lectures he receives from his wife about it. You were right, and he gives up after taking another puff of his cigar he turns his chair towards you "fine you'll be put on reports about Spiderman and current events. Your first print is at the end of the week, and I want the ones on your desk printed by the end of the day." You nod and turn to walk out of his office. Looking out the glass panel, you make eye contact with Peter, who was messing with his camera. You look back at Jameson who was angrily scribbling on his notepad almost ripping the pages. 

"You're wrong about him, Jameson. He's good for this city." 

"You're lucky. You're a good reporter. I don't pay you to be biased and sentimental. Just get the job done." 

"... you don't pay me much of anything anyway." 

"I decided to give the kiddies a chance. I've been feeling generous this year. Don't make me regret it. Now go and get those reports PRINTED!" 

Quickly, you run out of his office, avoiding yet another burst eardrum. you slam the door and rush towards Peter with a giddy feeling in your stomach. You grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to your desk. 

"Peter Parker, you are not going to believe what gold I have struck today!" 

He stared at you with wondering eyes. "What- what? why? What happened just now?" 

"I got put on the Spiderman reports" 

"...the what now?" 

"I'm doing reports on Spiderman! Isn't that exciting? My days won't be filled with just writing about middle school basketball and what ducks are fed at the parks. This is something real, something new, something exciting, and you're going to help me!" You state. He still looks at you bewildered. Leaning in close you grab his hands in between yours.

"Peter Parker, you are the best photographer I know. You have captured numerous and damn near impossibly close images of Spiderman swinging around and in some of the most perfect poses ever." His eyes avert yours for a split second as he blushed, clearly flattered by your praises

"Now I'm relying on your skills to get pictures of him in action, I wanna see him being the hero we know he is. Defeating bad guys and saving civilians! They need to know that he's actually helping people. Like you, like me." 

Peter thinks for a moment, then looks into his camera. "You really think he's doing good?" 

"I think he's doing great. Nothing like what Jamison makes him out to be." 

He gives a quick smile, then walks over to his desk and grabs his bag. "So what are you gonna be doing?" He asks 

Before taking a seat, you grin at your friend.

"I'm going to get whatever little piece of info I can get on the guy."

You smirk and turned back to your desk, you can't think too far ahead now all you need to focus on was getting these reports out of your way. although you couldn't help but wonder about Peters's nervous expression.

shrugging your shoulders you pull open your first file.

Hours Later….

You drag yourself and your bag into your apartment doors nearly collapsing in the hallway, your roommate peaked out of his room.

“Damn, you look like shit,” he says laughing at your misery.

You glared at him putting down your bag and keys. The journey to your bedroom was torturous, your back ached and your eyes felt like they were about to fall out of your head. Staying till the end of the day to finish reports made you want to abandon The Bugle altogether. even though it isn't the latest you've come home due to the heavy amounts of work Jameson decided to give you. But still, who would've thought a rookie like yourself would be placed on a task so much larger than you really knew what to do with. It made you kick your feet into your mattress as your eyes slowly succumbed to exhaustion.

Tomorrow you were gonna do whatever you need to. You were gonna get an interview with Spiderman. 

____________________________________________

Also on AO3 in case you prefer to read fics there

[ego-meliorem-esse]

you spoke about Arthur's capability to love but what about Francis? Is his view of love jaded by the years? I think the one who still holds some sort of romantic streak is Alfred, who's obviously the type of guy to have huge hopes and dreams about love, mostly unrealistic and over the top only focusing on getting what he wants. Just wondering, I find your view interesting

OH boy! I mostly agree with youu!

François is someone whos been around for so long that any kind of expectation of 'true love' is thrown out the window, even burried in the depts of the Seine, erroded with the ages. Though, has always been self serving, naivity of youth still gave him hope and belief in love to a certain point. Now however, he is still romanticising the concept yet never practicing it himself. He can read love poems, watch sad french movies shot in black and white, yet he is a cynical man. It's the duality that makes this man so complex.

Speaking of complexities and duality: Alfred is a good example of someone who is both idealistic yet observant. In his heart, deep down there hides a spark of desire for that 'human love' he sees people experience. However, he is intelligent enought to know that will not happen. not only due to his nation-person nature, but becouse of who he is. Alfred is willing to sacrifice anything and everything to get his way. "If I can't play by my rules, I'm playing a different game" sorta thing. that usually doesn't work out well with love and such strong emotions. He isn't willing to negotiate, he isn't willing to settle and he isn't willing to let someone else 'win'. I wanted to use the word selfish so many times, but frankly I don't think it fits. He isn't selfish in the pure sense of the word. Whatever he does is guided by the belief that he is doing what is best and optimal. In a sense his 'selfishness' comes from having a hard time seeing other ways and perspectives on certain matters.

It's hard to keep Alfreds attention on anyone for an extended period of time and Alfred knows this. so in this example, his belief is that it's best to not engage in any long lasting romantic flings and not establish emotional connections. Better for the other person that is. In truth he is vey uncomfortable with exposing a non perfect and slightly unstable side of himself.

The Hollywood smile can hide all.

He's a start up who came onto the superpower playing field at a time when expectations and requirements were too high. A colonial bumpkin who has to prove himself everyday. Prove that he is up to the challange despite actually having the ability to raise hellfire. An echo of "He is too young", "He lacks experience" and "He isn't the sort" following him with every step. I wanna relate this to what you asked about his ability and want of true love: Alfred needs to suceed. He is in a corridor and the only thing he is looking at is the big door at the end. he doesn't have time, nor is he willing to take a break while running to that door. Alfred knows what he want and has to do, so love is a distraction he isnt willing or able to give to anyone for long enought to matter.

Absolutely wild and long rant. i'm sorry if its uncomprehensible or typo infested my autocorrect is not working waaaaaahhhhhh

[spine-buster]

So High School ft. Adam Cole | Chapter 6

A/N: We have a 5600 word chapter here, folks...you're welcome!!!

The morning of October 5th was quiet.  Violet and Austin moved around their bedroom and ensuite as they usually did, getting ready for the day ahead of them.  As she always did, Violet made sure to put two hair elastics on her wrist.  She helped him down the stairs before he sat at the dining table.  He couldn’t have anything to eat because of the surgery, and Violet stood with him on that in solidarity.  But she had to have her coffee.  Coffee was her non-negotiable.  She made herself a quick cup, drinking it in front of him like a tease.  Austin kissed her when she finished so he could have even just a smidgen of the caffeine taste. 

As they prepared to leave, Violet made sure to grab a cardigan before getting Austin’s shoes.  She watched as he hobbled to put it on, refusing her help.  “Can I ask you something?” she asked quietly.

“What’s that?”

“Are you nervous?”

Austin paused before shrugging and shaking his head.  “A bit.  He’s one of the best surgeons in the state for this so I’m not worried about him or anything.  Guess I’m just worried about whether it will go well, because it sounds pretty complicated with the screws.  That and the recovery.  What about you?”

“I’m always nervous when you have to go into surgery and recover from something.  You know that,” Violet said.  “Even when you had that stupid bump in your forehead.”

Austin couldn’t help but smile at the memory.  It was just a small cyst but it looked like a devil’s horn was attempting to burst through.  He got made fun of for months by his buddies and the fans for that thing.  “Bet you’re not as nervous as last time, though.”

Austin said it as a throwaway comment, but he was completely correct.  She wasn’t as nervous this time around because, truth be told, the body part wasn’t as important.  “That was your brain we were talking about,” she commented.  “That was quality of life, Austin.  This is different.  Let’s not talk about that.”

She really didn’t want to talk about it.  She didn’t want to remember the day of the test and how hard she’d cried in secret in fear that he’d never recover and turn into a vegetable by the age of 50.  She didn’t want to remember Austin crying, shaking, and vocalizing all his deepest, deepest fears during a panic attack at four in the morning after she’d already been trying to calm him down for an hour and a half.  She didn’t want to remember the desperate call she’d made to Abigail, now a neurosurgeon, about what Austin was going through.  She could honestly say that the day Austin re-took the test a few months later and was above where he was supposed to be was one of the best days of her life.

Austin noticed her change in tone instantly.  “Hey hey…come on,” he cooed, pulling her down to sit beside him on the bench where he sat to put on his shoes.  He wrapped an arm around her strongly.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” she said, keeping her tears in despite her voice.  “That was just a very hard time.  I don’t want to re-live it.”

“You won’t,” he moved to kiss her forehead.  “I promise you.”

There was a moment of silence between them as they sat on the bench together.  “You’re nervous about the recovery, eh?”

Austin nodded.  “Just…you know…what happens if the bone doesn’t heal properly, or something goes wrong during physio.  I don’t know.  You hear all these stories all the time or you see it happen to other guys and it just gets to you.”

Violet nodded.  “But you’re not like other guys.  You’re the strongest person I know.  You’ll be able to do it because you have more drive than anybody.  No offence to your friends.”

He smiled.  Having someone like Violet in his corner for eighteen years now was the biggest blessing in his life.  He’d been with her now longer than he’d been without her.  He squeezed her hand.  “Love you to the moon, Vi.  No matter how much I say I love you, I always love you more than that.”

***

December at St. Anne’s meant midterm season.  Every girl in the school was anxiously studying, visiting their teachers for extra help, and clogging up the library tables with study groups.  The richest girls had their laptops, but most girls obsessively went over their lecture notes from their binders, making flashcards and quizzing each other.  In three weeks, it would be Christmas Break, and Violet would be enjoying hot chocolate with marshmallows by the fire with her mom and dad.  In four weeks, they’d be in Whistler skiing over New Year’s.  All she had to do was get through seven midterms first.

Austin and Violet hadn’t really talked about the implications of what happened after Connor’s party.  They eventually woke up from the floor.  Austin took a shower and Violet took an Advil.  She apologized again for getting drunk and he told her it was okay.  She thanked him for taking care of her and he told her it was nothing, that he wasn’t just going to dump her at the house alone.  She hoped she didn’t say or do anything to embarrassing last night, she said, because she barely remembered a thing.  Austin told her she hadn’t, that she was just super-giggly but then started to complain about feeling sick so that’s when he decided to bring her home. 

There was a moment at her front door as they hugged before he left to go home.  “Thanks again for taking care of me, Austin,” she’d said.

“I’m there whenever you need me,” he’d replied.

She watched him through the glass of her front door.  When he got to the end of her driveway, she watched him standing on the sidewalk, looking up at her house and letting out a big, wistful sigh before beginning a jog down the sidewalk.

After that, it was back to the bus rides.  Everything was normal. 

Somehow, word had gotten around that she had shown up at a Lancaster West party as Austin Jenkins’s friend.  The two schools were down the street from each other, so it was inevitable, but most of Austin’s and Violet’s close friends didn’t exactly run in the same circles, so she had no idea who was the one to tell, who was the one to spread.  All she knew was that it was the hottest topic of discussion a couple of days later.  While she was trying hard to study for her seven midterms, everybody else wanted to know all the gossip.  Did they kiss?  Did they hook up?  Were they official?

“Who even is Austin Jenkins anyway?” Josephine Kominsky asked one day in the cafeteria before the warning bell.

Violet rolled her eyes.  She had to have told close to fifty girls by now.  Josephine was late to the party.  “He’s one of my friends at Lancaster West.  We live in Manheim and take the bus in every day together.”

And then, the flood began.

“I heard that he’s kissing a new girl every weekend.”

“I heard that he’s hooking up with a new girl every weekend.”

“I heard that Marianne Smith from Lancaster West was hooking up with him last year.”

“I heard one of Annie Werenski’s friends was like, you know, dealing with him for a few months last year.  When I talked to her about it, she was like, ‘He’s soooooooo cute but such a sleaze.’.”

“I heard when he was on the junior football team, he made out with three different girls at the same party.  He definitely gets around.”

“I heard that Amy Price called him the best hook up she’s ever had.”

“I heard that Livvy Eaton called him the best hook up she’s ever had.”

“Can we just…” Violet intervened, getting overwhelmed by everything everybody was saying around her.  “Can we just not, please?  He’s my friend, not just some guy we get to gossip about during school.  Like, my actual friend.”

“How long have you known him?”

“How close to you does he live in Manheim?  Does he live in The Berries like you?  Why doesn’t he go to St. Augustine College?”

“What’s he like?”

“What’s with the hair?  Lancaster West doesn’t have hair rules like we do?”

“What does he want to study?”

“What AP courses is he in?”

“Is he applying to UPenn?  What about Yale?  He better not take my spot at Yale.”

Harper and Abigail eyed her from across the table, and motioned for them to leave.  Violet was so grateful in that moment.  “I’m going to class now,” she stood up, ignoring all the girls who kept pestering her with questions.  She felt like a politician who had just be involved in some huge scandal.  The girls were reporters taking down every word while she was the one trying to come up with diplomatic answers that didn’t reveal too much, if at all anything.  She owed it to herself and Austin not to talk about it, since she didn’t even know what it was.  Why was everyone making such a big deal about her going to a party with a friend?  Plus, the last thing she wanted to do was drag him deeper and deeper into the gossip mill of Catholic school girls.  That was a hell exclusively reserved for boys who were sketchy, assholes, or broke their hearts.

The next day, it was still the hottest topic of conversation.  During study hall in the cafeteria, a bunch of girls sat at a table together going over their AP American History notes.  Beth had eyed her down from another study group’s table, and when they had a break, she eagerly came over to sit next to Violet. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t invite me to the party,” she began, a smile and a mischievous glint in her eye.  Not like Violet would have invited her anyway.  After her comments in front of Austin at the last party, Violet wouldn’t be inviting her anywhere for a very long time.  “What was the party like, anyway?  I’ve never been to one with just Lancaster West people.”

Violet wondered why Beth was asking.  It was a house party, for God’s sake, with other teenagers there.  It wasn’t so different than anything else they’d ever been to.  “It was really fun actually.  Really chill.”

“I bet they talked about, like, NASCAR the entire time.”

Violet furrowed her brows.  “Why would they do that?”

“What else do they have to talk about?  It’s either that or they escaped from their Amish colony.”

“You realize Austin and I live in the same place,” Violet said, a harshness in her tone even she wasn’t expecting.  “When you say that sort of stuff about him and his friends, you say that sort of stuff about me.”

“Oh come on, you know it’s just a joke,” Beth waved her off.  “Did your parents meet him?”

“No.”

“Did he kiss you at the end of the night?”

Violet hesitated.  She didn’t want to kiss and tell, but she knew Beth wouldn’t let up until she knew the information.  “No.”

Beth’s eyebrows rose.  “Wow, really?  That’s shocking.”

“Why is that shocking?”

“Because from what I hear, he kissed the last girl he brought to a party.”

Beth stood up without warning, calling out to Jane Dunfield before leaving Violet at the table to soak in what she had just said.  Violet could feel her cheeks flush red, an overwhelming sense of emotion taking over her mind and body briefly.  She knew she couldn’t let Beth’s words or actions get to her, and she resolved to ignore what she just said as much as possible.

___

The next day, study groups congregated in the library.  Violet, Abigail, Harper, and some other girls were diligently memorizing facts about the Louisiana Purchase.  Beth was fooling around at another table, texting away on her phone.  Probably to Carson, she thought.  Violet wasn’t happy when, in the middle of summarizing the main points of James Monroe’s negotiating tactics in France, Beth nestled her way into a seat at their table, right across from her.

“Did you girls hear about Violet’s little rendezvous with Austin Jenkins from Lancaster West?” she began, making Violet roll her eyes.  By this point, it was old news.  Midterms were starting in two days – didn’t she have anything better to talk about?  “Wait till you hear what I’ve heard.”

“Oh, give it a rest—” Harper began, only to be cut off by other girls.

“—Did you hear the Annie Werenski thing, too?—”

“—What about what Livvy Eaton said—”

Beth nodded her head like the cat that got the cream.  “I’ve heard he’s kissed almost half the girls in the junior class at Lancaster West,” Beth smirked.  “He’s a good kisser, too.  Knows how to use his tongue.”

“Beth,” Harper stressed.

“What?!” she demanded innocently.  “Wouldn’t you consider that a compliment?  I know I’d like to hear that I was a good kisser.  Besides,” she shrugged her shoulders, “I also heard he’s a…how should we say…favourite with the girls.”

All the girls at the table leaned in except for Violet, Abigail, and Harper.  Violet found herself feeling hot again.  “What does that mean?” they all whispered one after another.

“Oh come on.  You guys can’t be that innocent,” Beth played at them.  “You know exactly what that means.  With those baby blues?  That hair?  Who can blame any one of them for hooking up with him?”  Beth eyed Violet for her reaction, but she was keeping the best poker face alive.  “Don’t worry.  He’s always got condoms.  Keeps them in his wallet.”

“This is all bullshit,” Abigail was the first to speak up.  “You’re talking out of your ass like you always do Beth.”

“Am not,” Beth glared at her.  “Carson told me all about it.  But trust me.  You want a guy with a bit more experience.  That way it’s not all awkward the first time he sticks it in you,” she gyrated her hips forward, making the chair loudly scratch against the floor and all the girls burst out in a fit of giggles they had to stifle quickly or else the librarian, Mrs. Foster, would shush them.  “Or are you going to make him wait till marriage?”

“Shut up,” Violet sneered.

“Get back to your table.  We actually want to study,” Harper said sternly. 

“Never even mind,” Violet muttered, closing her giant textbook loudly and gathering her notes and flashcards quickly before standing up abruptly.  “I’m going to talk to Mrs. Brooks in her office.”

___

Violet was sitting alone in the library the day before midterms began going over her AP French verb conjugations.  She was speaking them out loud, quietly, to herself, while listening to French music on her iPod.  Surely that would help her ace the midterm.  Traditionally, the day was a skip day and girls would stay at home to study, so there weren’t a lot of girls around – no big study groups taking up every table at the library.  But there were a few girls scattered around…

…and one of them was Beth.

“I come in peace,” Beth said, approaching Violet’s table.  Unlike the previous days when Beth had done this, there wasn’t any mischievous smirk on her face as she sat down across from Violet, no glimmer of gossip in her eye.  If anything, she seemed a lot more paired back than what Violet had experienced.  Harper and Abigail must have really laid into her the day before once Violet stormed off.  “You left yesterday and I didn’t get to apologize.  The condom thing was inappropriate.  I was just trying to be funny.”

It wasn’t exactly an apology, but Violet would have to accept it if they were going to move on.  “Yeah, thanks.”

“And about Austin…” she began, treading on murky waters.  “I’m sure he’s fine.  I mean, if you’re friends with him it must mean something.  Are we good?”

Violet didn’t want to engage.  She just wanted to be left alone with le conditionnel.  “Yeah.  Sure.”

“Good,” Beth nodded, licking her lips slowly.  There was a moment of silence between them.  “I totally get why you have the hots for him, by the way.  Everybody needs a bad boy in their life at least once.  It’s good to get that phase over and done with now.”

Violet furrowed her brows.  “He’s not a bad boy at all.”

Beth rolled her eyes.  “You know what I mean.  Shabby, not chic.  Super rough around the edges.  Wrong side of the tracks.  We all need our fix before locking in the guy who’ll become the investment banker.  This is totally that situation and I love that for you.”

“This is not—I—what are you on, Beth?” Violet’s whispers were getting louder, causing their librarian, Mrs. Foster, to eye them through her glasses.

“Violet.  Come on.  Be realistic.  You have nothing in common with him besides taking the bus together every day.  Your family vacations in Whistler and The Algarve.  Does he even own a pair of skis?  Has he ever been to Europe?—”

“—Beth—”

“—I mean, is he gonna need to get grants for university?  Loans?  Is he even going?  Is he even, like, smart enough to go?—”

“—Beth, I swear to G—”

“—What’s your dad gonna say when you bring him home and he sees some trashy guy from Lancaster West—”

“Shut up!!!” Violet finally exploded.  Her hands had crashed down on the table and she pushed her chair out from under her, the angry energy in her exploding out in every direction as she stood glaring down Beth.  “God Beth do you ever just shut the hell up?!?!”

“Miss Schwarzkopf!” Mrs. Foster said sternly from behind her desk.  “Vice Principal Hanley’s office right this instant!”

“But Mrs. Foster—”

“Now, Miss Schwarzkopf.  Do not make me pick up the phone and make the call myself.”

When Violet looked back at Beth, there was a smug smile mixed with genuine shock on her face.  Violet was almost embarrassed that Beth made her crack, but at the end of the day, Violet wanted to stand up for Austin.  Beth was being pretentious, the worst thing any girl at the school could be.  She failed to recognize how lucky she was to be going to St. Anne’s – maybe her parents never instilled humility in her; maybe she tuned out every time their teachers reminded them how lucky they were to be studying at one of the best schools in the state.  Violet wasn’t that person, and she wasn’t going to engage with those types of people.  And for her to call Austin trashy?  Uncalled for, and so wrong on so many levels there could be an AP exam for it. 

This was it. 

___

Austin noticed something wrong on the bus home to Manheim.  Violet wasn’t as talkative, wasn’t as bubbly as she usually was.  This was going to be their last ride together until the New Year, too, since Violet’s mom was going to drive her to all her midterms – a nice insurance policy just in case something happened with the bus.  He knew midterms for St. Anne’s were starting, but Violet never really got super stressed about her academics.  He could tell something else was bothering her, but he could also tell she was wrestling with herself about whether or not to bring it up.  He tried to make her laugh, tried to pique her interest in something, but her laughs were empty and her interest feigned.  The entire bus ride had gone this way.  Until he realized it didn’t have to be.

With only a minute to go in their commute, and with Violet already having pulled the cable to signal for her stop, he decided to speak up.  “Did something happen at school today?”

She looked at him, shocked, wondering how he knew.  Her father always told her she took after her Italian mother’s side of the family – she wore her heart on her sleeve – instead of his stoic German side.  “Maybe,” she mumbled.

“If I get off with you, will you tell me what happened?  I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like, not genuine.  Something’s bothering you and it’s stopping you from being you.”

What could Violet say?  They had only known each other for a few months, yet he could read her emotions automatically.  It was an incredible feat.  “Can I ask you a question?” she asked, biting her bottom lip and not making eye contact yet. 

“Always.”

She finally looked at him.  “Will you promise not to get mad?”

“Why would I get mad?”

She sighed.  “Word got around that I went to Connor’s party with you.  I obviously don’t even care about that, but this past week all the girls at school have been asking questions and talking about you.  It’s literally all they talked to me about – not even midterms.”

“I don’t even know any girls at your school,” he said.

“I know, but—”

“—No no, like I mean it,” he stressed, an almost confused look on his face.  “I know nobody at your school besides you.  How would they even be talking about me if they don’t know me?”

Well, that eliminated around 75% of the rumours that were being said to her and shoved in her face all week.  The bus pulled in to its regular stop in The Berries and they both got off.  They were lucky it was a fairly mild winter day or else they’d be freezing their asses off.  “Welcome to being a teenage girl at an all-girls school,” she quipped.

“What’d they say about me?” he asked as they began to walk.

“Do you really want to know?”

“If it’s bothering you this much that you want to talk to me about it, then yeah I’d like to know.  That way you can at least hear from me whether the rumours are true or not.”

Violet hesitated.  Was she really going to do this?  If she was going to feel any sense of normalcy again, she guessed she had to.  And now that the cat was out of the bag with Austin, he had to know what was being said about him too.  “I��well, I guess the main things are that you’re really popular with the girls at Lancaster West…if you catch my drift,” she began.  “When you were on the junior football team, you made out with three different girls at the same party.  That you kissed the last girl you brought to a party like Connor’s and that you’re kissing and hooking up with new girls every weekend.  You keep your condoms in your wallet.”

Austin took a moment to soak it all in.  “Wow,” he almost chuckled out.  St. Anne’s girls were hardcore with their gossip.  “That’s…that’s a lot.”

“I didn’t believe any of it,” Violet let out quickly, feeling like she needed to establish that early in the conversation.  “But I just…I want to hear it from you, I guess.  We…we can be open about that sort of stuff, right?”

When Austin looked at her with his big blue eyes, she almost melted right then and there.  “I don’t kiss or make out with a new girl every weekend.  I’m with my dad every other weekend anyway so that’s, like, impossible.  When I was on the junior football team, there was a homecoming party where I made out with one girl, not three, but because I was the new guy on the team everybody made a big deal about it.  I haven’t kissed or hooked up with anyone since my ex-girlfriend last year.  And I don’t keep condoms in my wallet.  You can check right now if you want."

Violet was almost embarrassed for how stupid she felt.  She wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t believe anything the girls had said.  Why did she have to ask him and bring it up?  Austin had never given her a reason to doubt anything.  He’d always been so nice and incredibly kind – probably the nicest and kindest person she knew – and here she was giving those rumours even 0.00000000001% of credence.  “Thank you for being honest,” her voice was small.  “I hope you’re not mad at me.”

Before he realized what he was doing, Austin’s hand laid gently over her forearm.  Even through three layers of fabric, they both felt the electricity.  “I’m not mad, don’t worry.  But can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Why didn’t you believe it?”

“…Because I actually know you,” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “I just knew you weren’t the kind of guy they were trying to make you out to be.  You’re cool and nice and you’re super polite and just, like, a good guy – a decent human being, you know?  The guy they were talking about…whoever it was, it wasn’t you.”

He couldn’t help but smile.  “Thanks, Vi.”

There was a moment of silence between them.  Violet knew that she had to tell him things, too.  It was only fair.  “For what it’s worth…I had a boyfriend last year too, from St. Augustine College.  We only ever made out – actually, we broke up because I wasn’t ready to, like, go further, you know?  He kept trying to pressure me and I didn’t like that.  And there were guys I kissed in freshman year, like two or three of them, I think, but uh…that’s it.”

Austin didn’t like hearing that she had felt pressure from her ex-boyfriend to go further than what she was comfortable doing.  He felt an overwhelming sense of wanting to punch the guy in the face, even though he had no idea who he was or what he looked like.  He’d felt the same way when he was carrying her drunk and she told him some guy had spiked her drink at a party.  Austin may not have been terribly book-smart, but he was definitely street-smart, and read-between-the-lines-smart, and so he knew exactly what she was telling him without actually saying it: she was still a virgin.  He thought to how the nickname for St. Anne’s was the ‘Virgin Megastore’ and, well, it fit the bill with Violet.  “I’m glad you broke up with him if he was pressuring you,” he said.

“Yeah.  Thanks.”

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed about that, you know.”

“I’m not.  I know that I’m not ready,” her voice was confident.

Austin nodded.  Another silence between them.  Violet watched him as they turned onto her street.  He looked like he was struggling to find something to say.  “Um, can I ask you another question?” he asked.

“Yeah, of course.”

More internal struggle.  Then, eye contact.  “One of the girls that was saying all those comments.  Was it…was it that Beth girl?”

Violet didn’t want to admit it.  But she also didn’t want to lie to Austin, so she found herself nodding her head.  “She’s being horrible,” she muttered.  “Like, just totally awful.”

“She’s been texting me.”

Violet stopped dead in her tracks.  The words made everything stop.  “What?”

“Yeah.  I don’t know how she got my number – maybe she asked through Carson, I don’t know – but she’s been doing it for the past few days.”

“What is she saying?”

“See for yourself,” he dug into his pocket to get his phone.  He flipped it open and went to his messages, clicking on her name before handing it over. 

this is beth from the party wassup

how did u get my #

nvm r u dealing w/ my friend violet?  she’s a prude so don’t bother ignoring me? cute. u won’t be able to resist me for long. i can give u what ur looking 4. hey cutie. keep thinking about u and all the fun we can have 2gether.

stop texting me

awwww. shy? don’t be. i’m anything but shy. c 4 urself. [[IMG_48 sent]] i’ll be @ trevor’s party this weekend. will u? let’s have some fun ;) didn’t get 2 c u @ trevor’s party. this is what u missed ;) [[IMG_85 sent]] hope u ignoring me doesn’t have 2 to w/ violet she has a rep 4 giving guys blueballs. don’t want that 2 b u! all she’s talking about is how u brought her 2 that party

STOP TEXTING ME

[[IMG_92 sent]] [[IMG_93 sent]] <3 <3 hey cutie. will u be @ cory’s party this weekend? we can have some fun ;)

Violet didn’t realize her face had gone red, and she didn’t realize her eyes had welled slightly with tears as she read over the text messages and opened the pictures, only to see Beth in sexy poses with her cleavage out.  In one of them she was even still in her uniform.  The last texts and photos were sent this afternoon, during the time Violet was in the office of the Dean of Students for her outburst in the library.  Beth had gone so far, and for what?  Just to get under Violet’s skin?  “Wow, she’s persistent,” she said sarcastically, her voice slightly shakier than she would have liked.

“I have to figure out how to block her number,” Austin quipped before he actually saw Violet’s face.  “Oh—Oh geeze, Vi—please don’t cry—”

“—You don’t get it,” she interrupted him, slamming his phone into his chest before taking off with an angry huff and the stomping of her Ugg boots, “she’s been awful for days.  I blew up at her today in the library and got in trouble and was sent to the Dean of Students—”

“—Trouble?  Violet, you what?—”

“—You should hear the horrible things she’s saying about you.  She was the one who said you get around a lot and that you keep condoms in your wallet for how often you do.  And it makes me so angry because she doesn’t know the real you.  All she sees is a cute guy with blue eyes and she gets it in her head to play these games—”

“—Vi, please—”

“—And for what?  Just so she can hook up with you?  She sends you pictures of her boobs one minute and then the next she’s calling you trashy—”

“Violet,” Austin said sternly, placing his hands on her shoulders.  It was only then that they realized they were in front of her house anyway.  “Violet, calm down.  It’s nothing.  It’s just mind games.  It’s not like I’m gonna hook up with her.”

“I know that,” she huffed.  She took a moment to recapture her breath, to calm herself and her get her tears and emotions in order.  “I never thought you actually would.  I just get mad when I get used as like, I don’t know, a pawn.  Why does she want to hurt me?”

“That’s something you have to ask her.  But nothing’s gonna happen, alright?  I would never do something like that, especially after how she spoke to me at that party.  But more importantly, I would never do something like that to you.”

Violet took a deep breath in, nodding her head in understanding.  “I don’t like it when people talk bad about you.  Because I know you,” she told him, in a much quieter and calmer voice this time.  “And I know I’ve said it before, but—I trust you, Austin.”

Austin did the only thing he could think of doing, the only thing he could do in a moment like this, and that was to pull her in for a hug.  Despite their coats and layers of clothing, they could both feel the heat emanating off each other because of the moment.  Violet felt him squeeze her tightly.  Austin got a whiff of her hair as she squeezed him back.  “I know you do,” he whispered, their bodies still wrapped in each other’s.  “That’s why I’d never hurt you like that.  And I trust you too.”

Violet was silent as she pulled away.  To hear him say that he’d never hurt her, to hear him say that he trusted her too – nobody had ever said those words to her before.  Not even her stupid boyfriend from last year.  And Austin wasn’t even a boyfriend.  He was just her friend.

…Right?

She looked into his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes.  They were so unique.  On anybody else they’d be their best feature, but for Austin, it was probably near the bottom of the list, only because Violet could list so many better things or qualities about him.  But as she found herself staring into them, her mind and her body only wanted to do one thing.

So she did.

So he did.

In one swift movement, they leaned forward, closed their eyes, and kissed each other.

She felt him kissing her back.  He didn’t just stand there and take it.  He kissed her back.  Once she actually realized what was happening, she pulled away.  Austin was in just as much shock as she was at what they had just done.

She gulped.  “Have a great Christmas Break.”

She dashed up her driveway and into her house, not looking back.

[lucihens]

i know it's been weeks since the finale and this is likely redundant at this point but because i'm deranged about this show i pushed through the mental illness and finally finished my season 7 wishlist for my birthday. this was once over-detailed and the points were really just fanfic prompts, now the points are non-sensical and probably not even s7 specific. so in no particular order of timeline or importance, likely to never happen and straight from the audrey head canon universe: SEASON 7 WISHLIST.

[if you wish]

general (most could happen in any season and are potentially insane.):

- actual bailan conflict

- wopez baby girl unnamed forever, just for a giggle.

- nyla family maybe? she's an only child to me

- grey angst. like i wanna see him fight someone or something

- monica lasts less than 7A, but we see her a bit. unpopular opinion but she's fun. like that's one of my fav characters from jtv manifested once again on my favourite show.

- celina and lucy get a cat. they'd just vibe with it i know it. tim loathes the cat every time he comes around during their reconciliation era. but loves it.

- fire episode. not just a victim in a fire but like the station or one of the characters house on fire, like oo an arsonist terrorising the characters specifically. (maybe nolan like burn his crib down and cause him pain for once.)

- lucy parents. this is non negotiable. like maybe they're in trouble, being harassed/stalked/held hostage or whatever and she saves them, and they, at least, lighten up on the disappointment.

- lucy cousin [not s7 specific]. i know she has one. like a younger, annoying, freeloading male cousin. just give her some family please. and her nana.

- and an ex-girlfriend but that's free for any season. heir to sappho, lucy chen.

- lucy fighting like 50 guys all by herself and winning.

- lucy going undercover at least once and spanning multiple episodes.

- generally any and all lucy storylines that aren't centered at all around tim.

- maybe give her a female friend her age outside of the main characters. someone who helps her in her career and personally. someone on the same level. and give her wesley too.

- lucy critically hurt like worse than D.O.D

- can you tell i yearn for lucy storylines? like that's my main character!

- characters generally struggling with things outside of work and relationships. like illness/disability. (and not for bailey)

- speaking of struggling (!!!!!):: i really want to see one or all of the main characters struggling with their morality/sense of self as a police officer. like we all know the despicablity of cops irl. we know the rookie knows, see: s3. why can't this be a consistent thing? and not just nolan struggling to not come off as white saviour. like all the characters, both white and non white, experiencing personal turmoil about their position on world affairs and how that would (i hope) completely misalign with the mores of the average cop. especially given the state of the world right now, while uncomfortable, it would be somewhat realistic/relatable to our universe, and would be intriguing to watch (either that or i unfortunately learn that the political views of the rookie tyrants are.....).

- fully explored appearance of a k-9 unit.

- the rookie finally goes back to the multiple patrol calls an episode format and stops trying to be like chicago p.d.

- harper and lopez are given the decency to be treated as two separate careers instead of one forever unit. like i love that they're often together and they are partners in the same job but can we stop segregating the characters into unchanging groups? i know there are often exceptions but spice it up a bit please? mix patrol and detectives. but don't make patrol all about detectiving, and don't make harpez one job and the patrols always on the same case. give them calls away from each other. let them all do their jobs separately so you don't perpetuate the above point too much. (but still keep my family together obviously - it's all about balance.) is this point a jumbled mess? i think. look away.

- celina more interesting. please make her more than nolan's miserably failing boot.

- and give nolan consequences!!!!! let this man learn for once! we see he makes mistakes, but he's magically cool and respected again? make him a watchable character by going deeper than nice guy who wants to do good and well, fails yet is picked back up again by everyone else who loves and adores him so much like!!! where's the pain and conflict!

- nyla with a homeless teen or struggling adult who she helps i just thought of this. i know that woman has empathy that runs deep. nyla centric episodes especially talking about her cartel past!!! and with that more angela backstory like why do the women of the rookie have like 5 backstory points and i could write a whole novel about just one male character's.

- feed me the greatest lucy fits and bring back angela's curly hair i'm on my knees and i'm begging.

- more lgbt+ rep

- more disabled rep

- more class rep, especially in the characters themselves, i wanna see a cop struggling to get by money wise. actually that would never happen for a cop nevermind.

- speaking of poor i want nolan to lose everything.

- i'm not a sadist i swear.

- something for aaron that isn't based on 'i was falsely accused' and 'i almost died' like not saying it's boring but i don't want the writers to lack the creative ability to explore him even more. and celina too, give her something beyond her sisters death. these were great storylines but i don't want these characters to become tired and underused.

- the rookie starts rounding out long running and short running storylines for once. please stop making me say 'wait, that was it?'.

- dear whoever runs the rookie: please take yourself seriously again, i know you can do it baby.

- and stop reading fanfic

chenford specific quick fire:

- tim therapy

- lucy therapy

- lucy discovering herself way outside of tim

- tim brain transplant

- just kidding i love him

- tim more therapy

- tim mother

- tim groveling

- lucy deciding to live a little bit more outside of him until she's ready

- tim just chill i don't want more tim backstory i'm good

- lucy win at work

- tim grovel

- timlucy chill, are cool enough with each other

- friends

- reconcile

- take it slow

- tim grovel and therapy

- lucy undercover as part of finding herself

- friendly enough, tim has no influence in her career now like it or not

- lucy badly hurt, tim crazy

- besties while lucy recovers

- besties again, and actually on screen, like i wanna see all those besties moments that we were only told about before

- tim 'you are my entire world together or not' moment

- getting closer, getting heated, getting to actually talking

- maybe arguing

- like i want my years long head canon of them (tim) blurting i love you in an argument like

- i don't know how the rest goes

-

-

- they kiss the end

[rookthorne]

that's right, my Chaos Kittens!

the discord server that I hummed and considered about many moons ago, is finally here and ready for you.

below the cut is a little about the server, and how you can join me.

𝐂𝐀𝐀 𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓

To begin, this server serves as an extension to my library, @rookthornesramblings, and its main purpose is to do so.

There will be roles and tags for each collection, and there is an option to opt in for every one of them or only a few — it is your choice and you have freedom to change your mind, or even select none of them!

PLEASE NOTE: this server is for people over the age of 21. This is due to the nature of things that may be shared in certain channels — it is non-negotiable.

Within the server I have set up a couple of different categories for socialisation:

a place to introduce yourself and know more about myself and your fellow kittens, while also selecting the roles of what you wish to have within your experience.

a section for you to promote your own and other's works, events, and creations, while also serving as a sprinting host and a place to brainstorm with others (and myself).

Within the library section of the server, there are more categories:

channels dedicated to different characters that I write for that are not connected with AUs — so this is where my drabbles and one shots will be found.

an entire lot of channels and categories dedicated to both my Bucky Barnes and Stucky collections — they are listed alphabetically and have 3 channels each, one for chatter, 2 for brainstorming/inspiration.

With all of that said and done, there's only one last thing to add: the link that will take you straight to the discord!

𝐂𝐀𝐀 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃

by clicking the above link, you acknowledge that you are 21 or older.

I can't wait to see you guys there! 💗

[ana-chronista]

jance: 3, 8, 11, 18

3. Who’s more jealous and possessive? Neither really, but of the two, probably Jan. Nace is a much more laid-back guy and when it comes to them getting attention, he's known from the start - even before they got together - just how much Jan attracts so has accepted it as a simple fact. Jan, meanwhile, struggled with his feelings slightly more, because how dare this hot, talented, funny guy be Martin's replacement?! Once he's figured everything out, he has moments where he'd prefer not to have to share Nace's attention, because he had to work so hard to get it (or rather, to accept it - he always had it). The other JO members/crew would be an exception to the rule. 8. Who pops the question? This has come up a few times in similar ask games, and I still really like the idea of Nace meticulously planning everything (finding the ring - designing it, maybe? - and trying to figure out where/when/how to bring it up) only for Jan to blurt it out one night after a gig because he just looks at Nace while high on adrenaline and is just struck by how much he loves this guy. Jan is, of course, completely stunned to find out that Nace had been planning something himself, and that takes some of the pressure off of Nace to actually get on and arrange a nice romantic evening where he can officially ask him, fancy speech and all. Many happy tears are shed on both nights! 11. Who’s more high maintenance? I feel like Nace would have higher standards for the relationship even if just by virtue of age - he's had more relationships than Jan and so has reached more of a stage of knowing exactly what he wants or doesn't want in a relationship. That's not to say he wouldn't compromise on some things (Jan's not an early riser, but maybe Nace can be persuaded to stay longer in bed on account of the company 😉) but other things are non-negotiable: remembering their anniversary, buy Christmas gifts for each other if they've agreed on it, cleaning hair out of the plug hole after a shower. It might take Jan some getting used to as he's more laid back about these things but if it's important to Nace, he's willing to try. 18. Who’s more gullible? Jan, but partly because Nace's poker face is something to be feared and respected. Who would ever believe sweet, innocent Nace Jordan is bullshitting them? Not even his own boyfriend.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, a straightforward person like you deserves a straightforward question.

No matter what you do with them afterwards, who would be the best in bed? That is, the one who would make YOU feel the best in bed?

***

Now...

I know we're all bored and dreadfully in need of entertainment, but what in the holy devil is this?

Not that I'm upset getting this kind of ask, (assuming you're not the same 'Anon' aka the empty account that's taken to sending me BTS feet pics in the last few weeks), but how can I possibly answer this honestly without incriminating myself?

The only solution I see here is to pull something of a smoke trick - to write in my honest answer surrounded by a bunch of dishonest ones. So Anon, the last thing you'll be getting from me is a straightforward answer, despite your straightforward question. :)

*

First, the honourable mentions:

Taehyung - He seems like the kind of lay you meet at a party, he'd approach first chatting you up for exactly 47 mins talking about nothing in particular but he'd sprinkle in oddly personal questions here and there, making sure to keep your glass always full. Just before you dip (47 mins is a fairly long time for a party chat), he'd ask you over to his place to have drunk, languid, lazy sex. For some people, one night stands allow them to become more uninhibited, more willing to try new things etc, and party drugs of various kinds including alcohol can help facilitate that sometimes. But alcohol-fueled, no strings attached, lazy sex hasn't really been my speed for years, so it's a pass from me.

Seokjin - He has a reputation of having a massive cock but much of what the fandom ascribes as BDE for him just seems to me like the typical air of authority anyone in his position would have given the age hierarchy in Korea. In my experience, big dicked Korean guys are significantly more obnoxious than anything we've seen Jin display, they're also really into fairly unusual kinks, for whatever reason, so since I don't get any of those vibes from Jin, I assume he'd be a decent lay but only that. For my tastes at least.

*

The smoke screen:

Yoongi - Getting the obvious suspect out of the way, I don't think Yoongi has the kind of stamina I'm looking for in a good fuck. Which is kinda tragic for me, as you can imagine. The cerebral connection would be there - a non-negotiable for me - and he seems like the kind to not mind a messy tangle on various surfaces if that's how things play out. But could he last longer than the time it takes to stream The Paradox album by Jacob Banks from top to bottom? I doubt it. But I'd be willing to test my hypothesis if given the opportunity.

Jimin - Now, stamina is not a problem for Jimin. I don't really read fanfic but I'm aware he's mostly taken to be the soft bottom in most pairings, maybe because people perceive him to be delicate and feminine especially during sex. While that could be true and technically isn't a hindrance for me, I suspect his natural undercurrent of intensity is brought to the fore during sex. Which I'd like. And that he's more of an equal opportunity kind of fuck. If you know what I mean. So not exactly a switch, and not exactly fully uninhibited but closer to that than the other guys maybe save Hoseok. He also seems like the sort to care more about the where, why, and how of the fuck, than any of the other guys, which I appreciate. But again, I'd be open to testing my hypothesis.

Namjoon - He's clumsy and can't seem to butter toast without everyone around him being worried for their safety and his, but I'm very certain that man knows how to lay pipe. He's been much too unguarded and explicit about it in the past for me to have any real doubts about his experience. I also suspect he's the sort to seek an emotional and cerebral connection with someone, buttering them up with loads of foreplay (somewhat and maybe adorably clumsily), before going in for the kill. Which I'd like. But out of all the guys, he'd be the first to catch feelings. I also think he's the most likely of the members to potentially lurk on Tumblr so Joon if you're reading this, we're both into trying experiments and my DMs are open so feel free to reach out but only after you've already had your rebound.

Jungkook - I think he's a lot more similar to Namjoon in this way than a lot of people think. I can't really go into detail explaining what I mean because well, no, but if stamina was my only requirement in a good fuck, JK would be the only option here. *insert any 'Seven and Jk is a bunny' joke of your choice here* He has this restlessness in most things he does that I find really sweet actually, and I don't think it will be absent during sex. But he'd temper it with being emotionally present, careful, delicate for the whole affair. I like that he's meaty enough to bite into, there'd be a lot of him to hold on to for dear life if we somehow end up on the wall or on a bridge.

Hoseok - He's the sort of guy who knows exactly what he wants and goes straight for it without taking any detours. I think. Not to say he's rough and callous, though I'm not exactly opposed to that depending on the situation, but I suspect he'd be the most likely to directly ask you about your needs, wants, and limits before bumping uglies. Which I'd like too because fully verbalized consent really is sexy. Afterwards though, I think he'd be a cuddler and the biggest one out of the seven. Which I'd like. But I also like to dabble in various things that I think he'd be hesitant to trying because he's conscious about his maintaining his physical health and 'purity'. Maybe. Not a dealbreaker but, you know. I wonder if this vibe I get from him will change after he's done with his military service though, in which case, again, I'd be open to verifying my assumptions with practical experience.

Lol, anyway, there you go, Anon.

[ghostopossumlives]

elaborating on my theory.

I don't think that the upcoming court episode is going to be as simple as Mammon suing Fizz for quitting.

I think that he is going to go after Asmodeus.

As per my previous post I think that IMP is an illegal operation and are basically impersonating Satanic Imps that legally drag down people who bounce on Faustian bargains. I think that the "what overdue paperwork" might be one of those "jokes but actually subtle forshadowing" things like Moxxie's mafia reference.

IMP is going to get a contract that pits them against that spooky man. He's going to turn out to be an undead sorcerer evading damnation. Satanic Imps are going to show up and IMP is going to get busted.

Because IMP is now legally under Asmodeus's authority, he is going to be potentially liable for the fraud.

Mammon is going to use this to try to leverage Satan against Asmodeus and probably is going to act as a Prosecuting attorney.

Because of the way the imps talk about Satan, and the comparatively "nice" state of the Wrath Ring and the fact that most of the organized Imp criminal activity appears to be im other rings, I think that Satan is actually going to be a pretty neutral and lawful figure, rather than a clear ally or enemy like Beelzebub, Asmodeus, and Mammon. Satan is going to be the gruff judge of a court battle between Asmodeus and Mammon. In which he looks down on both of them.

(Also, every character we've seen who hails from the Wrath Ring has been significantly more well-adjusted than non-Wrath counterparts. Even Striker is more mentally well than half of the protagonists.)

I also think that Stella and Andrelphus are going to get involved to try to pile blame on Stolas.

I actually don't think that Stolas or Asmodeus's crimes are all that serious. I think if the book was really that big of a deal than Stella and Andrelphus would have gone after that before trying to have Stolas assassinated. The crimes that they can actually be convicted of are probably quite minor as far as Big Guy crimes go. I think that Blitzø is going to be the biggest criminal in terms of severity of their crime and direct involvement, but because of his friends' love for him, they are all going to be dragged into it.

Viv has said that Satan and Leviathan are going to be the most traditional depictions of Sins, which if that means Inferno lore, then Satan hates Heaven only half as much as he hates sinners, and Leviathan is the Sin most obsessed with fighting Heaven.

Striker clearly has a passionate hatred of the powerful. A trait very reminiscent of Leviathan. I think that Striker is working for Leviathan. I think that Leviathan is attempting to get Stella in charge of prophecies because she is an idiot who wouldn't do the job or pay attention to the prophecied failure of Armageddon. Leviathan refuses to believe that they could fail, and without someone to bring up the prophecy, they can start it.

I think that the Sinsmas episode is going to be less of a typical Christmas Episode and more of a Diehard homage. I think that Leviathan is going to try to time it so that Striker and Crimson take over the building and kill Stolas (to hide the prophecy), Satan (to destabilize hell and consolidate power), Asmodeus (to spark outrage in the common demons and consolidate power), and Mammon (because fuck him and to consolidate power) while the Cherubs and Dorks attack. That way Leviathan can point to the murder of the Sins by the (obviously all dead) cherubs and humans as Casus Belli for Armageddon. "Angels and Humans attacked us and killed our respected Satan, keeper of the peace, our beloved Asmodeus, whose love for Fizzarolli was guiding a new age of demonic progress, and Mammon! Join me and we will strike back against this angelic treachery!"

In the spirit of Diehard: Mammon is going to try to negotiate and get shot. Blitzø is going to be barefoot. Striker is going to fall off the building in slow motion.