#a) the age thing is non negotiable guys

[hatterhare]

this has been me since the beetlejuice, beetlejuice trailer dropped bc i have been bombarded by beetlebabes content ever since, and it absolutely disgusts me to my core what is wrong with people

[blushweddinggowns]

Eddie guessed that it was his own fault for waiting the last second to get a new one. He thought that he’d be able to wait it out. He was on the edge of graduating from his apprenticeship at the shop, so, so close to being able to afford the apartment completely on his own. But then his boss had to go and make it clear that nothing was happening until the New Year, a solid three months away.

His paycheck to paycheck life style wasn’t gonna cut it for that long. And that's how we found himself desperate enough to post a Craig’s list ad. What did he think was going to happen? That he’d get the creme of the crop? No. The only applicants he’d had were a chronic cigarette smoker who couldn’t wait to light up until after the apartment tour, a middle-aged guy who immediately told him that his ferrets free-roaming around the house was a non-negotiable, and some dude who wore polo shirts and looked like he fell out of a highschool rom-com. 

He should have chosen the smoker. But no, he had to go with the eye-candy. Despite the fact that he knew Steve would never look twice his way, even with the low odds that he even liked men. 

But he couldn’t help it. 

Eddie had been a failure when it came to romance ever since he moved out of his uncle’s place. Twenty-four years of conservative small town bullshit, all culminating into a completely lack of ability when it came to getting laid. Three more completely dedicated to making something of himself out in the city. He hadn’t been prepared to ward-off the model with the puppy dog eyes and the sob story of his last place flooding. 

Though in his defense, it wasn’t just from his extremely horny mind. Steve seemed polite enough when they first met. He was surprisingly sweet for someone openly wearing Ralph Lauren. So when he said that he could move in immediately, Eddie was sold. He didn’t even think to question Steve paying his first month of rent in cash. He was just relieved the worry about getting kicked out was officially gone. 

The first week had been fine enough. Eddie met a few of his friends who were helping him move in. It was a gaggle of twenty-one year olds, oddly enough.

“I was their babysitter,” Steve had sighed when Eddie asked about it, his eyes fond, “They got a little too attached. Now I’m an underage uncle for life.”

It was cute, another point towards Eddie’s slight pining. But then, Steve went back to work. 

Eddie didn’t care that he worked a night shift. He could understand that, tip-based work was pretty lucrative. He was pretty sure Steve was a bartender or something considering the crazy hours. He could handle a few bumps in the night while he got situated.

What Eddie couldn’t handle was Steve’s multi-hour long, middle of the night routine. He’d get home at three a.m. 

And yeah, maybe Eddie hadn’t been totally upfront about the downsides of this place when he got Steve to sign the sublet. Despite the price, their walls were paper thin. The advertised “soundproofing” of the place had only applied to hearing the neighbors. You could hear everything in this place, from the front door to their insanely loud showerhead. A fact that he assumed Steve would catch up on without Eddie having to act like an RA. 

With him and Gareth having basically the same schedule, Eddie had forgotten just how loud things could be. But Steve quickly gave him a reminder. Without fail, he’d hop into the shower first thing, the sound of the water pounding against the ceramic more than enough to wake Eddie up. Not to mention the singing. The good quality of his voice did not make up for the fact that it was tortuous at night. 

But it didn’t stop there. No, then he’d go to his room and talk for hours. Eddie had no fucking idea what kind of freak was sharing a five a.m. time table, but it was killing him. Whoever it was knew how to rile Steve up like no other, his laughter so clear through out the night that Eddie couldn’t focus on anything else. It was a lot, it was intense, and Eddie was losing his fucking mind. He tried to find time to talk to him about it, be civil about the whole thing. But when Eddie woke up Steve was dead to the world. When Eddie got home from work, Steve was already gone for his own. 

That’s how he found himself here. Wide awake for the fourth night in a row while Steve’s voice streamed through the walls. Every passing second had his pathetic crush on the man dissolving more and more. The last bastion between Steve and Eddie telling him to fuck off. 

an excerpt from my soon to be exchange fic. Of course I'm an extension needing bitch 😩😩😩

[jaeyunzzx]

watch me. — felix & chan

Contains non negotiated voyerism, walking in on, pervert!felix, amab reader, bottom!chan

chan who can’t keep his mouth shut for more than five seconds, no matter how many times you tell him to be quiet his mouth shoots back open; shameless moans falling from his tongue whilst your cock showed him no mercy. chan who feeds off of the way your body’s slide together, the way your sweaty abdomen feels pressed against his back has him almost crying; he loves feeling so close to you, it was like you guys were merging as one. chan who is blissfully unaware aware of his best friend standing in the doorway, the door wasn’t open fully but it was just enough to see what was happening, although you could already tell what was going on from a mile away.

felix who, despite his best efforts, can’t help but watch chan get fucked into the mattress, his thighs shaking and eyes squeezed shut. The younger knew it was wrong to watch but he just couldn’t help it, he’s always wanted to see you like this, and now he has the perfect opportunity. felix who allows his hand to snake down his body, cupping his crotch harshly as his ears picked up every little sound, the main thing being chan’s endless moans and pleas for you to not stop.

“Ngh!- fuck right there! Please y/n..please don’t stop!-”

felix gasped at chan’s words, the pure filthiness of it all went straight to his twitching cock, he wondered if it was him who was getting fucked; would he say the same things? He felt dirty for watching, and by now he was sure either you or chan had noticed him, but all his shame left his body; all felix could focus on was the way you fucked chan and how his palm slowly worked at his dick through his sweatpants.

a/n: this is a lil short but I’m trying out other writing styles and this has been in my drafts for ages.

@ihrtlixx don’t repost/translate any of my works!

[bunny-1111]

Skiing together with Teddy ??

omg, I LOVE this, skiing and snow day with teddy:

...

Many things came along with the opulence of Theodore Nott

That included a minimum stay of two and a half weeks at his favourite ski lodge every winter.

Not just your winter, Theodore would have you both fly to the opposite side of the world for a good ski, insisting on going from England to New Zealand just for the Southern Hemisphere snow, not going to waste.

There's something so captivating about Theo in his all-black ski attire, leather gloves, and cashmere scarf. So discipline in his sport.

You watch his grip tighten on his ski sticks, and he turns a corner, or his strong legs whip through the thick snow.

His muffled chuckles behind his mask as he laughs at your occasional slip, his gloved hands helping you up and planting you back on your feet with his hands lingering on your hips or waist, his voice teasing "Gracful, Darling"

He also insists on sharing a hot tub, his excuse being that it’s “necessary for sore muscles.”

Snow angels, the print of his body on the white snow much larger than your own

Theo rolls his eyes when you force him to build a snowman, fighting back a smile when you jump up and down when its finished, to tease you he'd take a bite out of the carrot nose you jammed into the snowman

Theo is an experienced skier, so it's rare if he does fall, but he does everything in his power to not fall, just the idea of falling is humiliating to Theodore.

If you get worried the slope it too steep or high he's voice drips encouragement, "Come on ,champion you can handle this" pointing below, "I know you got this, I wouldn't let you go down if I thought you weren't able to." when you finally take of with Theo beside you he'd scream out "atta girl!" kissing you when you both make it to the bottom

He'd help you jump into your heavy ski outfit, fitting it to your skin

BONUS: someone guy bumping into you mid ski and those losing his shit

Gliding down the snow felt so natural to you, the wind that fought against your speed, so refreshing, your body aligned to the rhythm of the slope, until just as you leaned into another turn, a blur barreled into you, sending you sprawling across the snow.

Pain immediately hit your shoulder as you tumbled, skis tangling awkwardly beneath you. Before you could even catch your breath, the figure—a man about your age snapped, “Watch where you’re going, yeah?”

You stared at him, stunned and winded, your reply stuck in your throat, pulling your mask down the only thing to leave your mouth was the smoke of the cold air, from your now heavy breathing.

Theo was there in an instant. He skidded to a stop, snow spraying in the direction of the man who crashed into you, his jaw set in a way that made your stomach flip for an entirely different reason.

"You want to repeat that?" Theodore's voice cut through

“I said—” the guy started, but Theo cut him off, stepping closer, his tall frame casting a long shadow across the snow.

“You crashed into her.” Theo’s tone was sharp now, his anger contained but unmistakable, like the stillness before a storm. “And instead of apologising, you wanna run your mouth?”

"Look, man, she was in the wa-" he protests again

"you apologise before this snow turns red on your fucking account, got it?" this time Theo was interrupting him

After the chaos, Theo insisted no more skiing for the day, that he would carry you everywhere, and you could sit by the fire sipping hot chocolate, non-negotiable.

Reblogs comments and likes are much appreciated my loves x

[lafleshlumpeater]

hi i’ve been trying to find someone perfect for my request cause tbh it’s one i’ve been thinking about for a while and i think your writing and style is absolutely amazing and idk i want you for my request. i understand you usually write fem readers but if you could please make like a gn!reader i would really really really appreciate it!! i was thinking a luke castellan x reader and everyone always jokes about you guys dating but you’ve never really had a crush on him. and then he suggests you guys just start fake dating just to make it better, and then you end up falling for him and just like yeah. fake dating to lovers yall please. thank you so much for even considering!!!

OMG. ANON. you flatter me too much, ilysm for this. i hope i did this justice and i'm so sorry for the long wait <3 (there will definitely be more than one part to this!!)

warnings: gn!reader (pls lmk if i accidentally used any gendered language so i can fix it), teasing, percabeth being 'that' couple- it's not really specified whether this is book!luke or disney!luke but for any future requests if you'd like a particular one don't be afraid to ask <3

luke castellan masterlist

“So,” Annabeth begins, clearing her throat, and just from the teasing cadence lilting her voice, you already know what she’s itching to comment on. You exhale, rolling your eyes and praying internally to every god in existence that you know of to spare you from this incessant battle. “You and Luke, training together.” She makes a pretence at nonchalance- you know her better than that.

“Yes, Annabeth,” you sigh as you take a sip of water. “Just like how practically everyone else in camp has also done. You included.” Excluding Percy, it was non-negotiable; Luke was the most experienced and skilled fighter at camp. Everyone was eager to learn a thing or two from him, and understandably so.

“Yeah, but, like- the chemistry.” The blonde counters, rubs her hands together deviously. “No-one else in camp has that with him.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with your boyfriend.” Percy; the main instigator of all of your friends, and even campers who you didn’t even know too well, encouraging the idea that there was something inexplicable going on between you and Luke Castellan. You couldn’t sympathise with the notion whatsoever- apparently, two people being of the same age and occasionally passing time together who also happen to be paired up with one another in most affairs (no doubt with the meddling of Chiron, which Luke himself seemed blissfully oblivious to), meant they were suddenly applicable for a relationship which goes beyond the boundaries of platonic.

You didn’t get it whatsoever.

“Speak of the devil,” Annabeth starts, the remnants of her scheming smirk blooming into something more genuine and pure at the sight of her boyfriend walking towards the pair of you. 

“I saw Luke just now.” The playful quip forming regarding the lack of greeting from him dies on your tongue. You couldn’t be dealing with this now- all you wanted was a productive day of training followed by a bitingly cold shower. Instead, you’re being verbally taunted- by your friends, no less- about how good of a match you are for the Hermes boy. It’s a painstakingly obvious reminder about how life never goes a demigod’s way.

The tall boy jabs a thumb vaguely behind his shoulder, his free arm sneaking around his girlfriend’s waist. Absently, she leans into him, the sickeningly sweet reaction automatic. “He was like, completely red in the cheeks. Blushing. And then he tells me the two of you were sparring just now?” His lips quirk into a grin, all teeth and mischief. “Very interesting.” You open your mouth again, with no particular retort in mind. “Oh no, but it’s all coincidental,” he continues, feigning a solemn tone. “Right. That’s my bad.”

Annabeth snorts at Percy’s antics as he holds his hands up as if in mock surrender when you swat at his shoulder. “We were sparring, Percy. Obviously he was going to be red in the face. Out of breath and all.”

He nods gravely, lips set in a straight line. You narrow your eyes, distrustful towards the mirth shimmering in his irises. “Out of breath from being so close to you.” He swoons as if imitating Luke, hands clasped together and batting his eyes up at an unknown entity- you correctly assume this imaginary being is supposedly you.

Before you can tell him off like you have oh-so-many-times in the past, he sobers up of his own accord, lips twitching from the effort of suppressing a well-humoured grin. His eyes flit to somewhere behind one of your shoulders. “Hi, Luke.”

You turn on your heel instantly. He’s standing in front of you, cheeks still tinted a delicate pink, a mere ghost of what Percy had sworn to, hair ruffling slightly in the breeze, the muted colour of his eyes a stark contrast to the startling neon of his camp t-shirt. You curse your friend to the high heavens, taking a mental note to throttle him later. “Hey.” 

He nods briefly to all parties, before redirecting his attention to you. “I forgot earlier. I’d like to talk to you about something.” He shifts slightly, repositioning himself so he looks less uncertain, back straightening and arms folded across his chest. “If you don’t mind.”

You glance behind you at the indiscreetly tittering couple, obviously amused at your expense. No matter how oblivious Luke may have been towards the magnitude of your mutual friends who were certain that the two of you were destined soulmates and it was just a matter of time and waiting, he wasn’t blind to the fact that the common belief was there. Especially now, with Percy and Annabeth whistling and hooting in a manner which was meant to be encouraging behind you. As if they didn’t take years to acknowledge that they had painfully blatant feelings for one another.

“No, yeah, we can talk,” you say casually. The two of you begin to walk, side by side, facing forward. For a few beats, there’s silence.

The quiet itself isn’t uncomfortable- the anticipation and tension of waiting for what he has to say, is.

“I want to say sorry,” Luke commences, simultaneously shattering the silence, previously only permeated by distant chatter and careless laughter. Fixing him with a befuddled frown, you rotate your head to look at him- he’s facing forward, hands are stationary in his pockets, side profile the only thing in your field of view. “I don’t know when or how, but for some reason everyone has the idea that I’m…” You watch him ponder for a moment or two, wondering how to phrase the predicament in a manner which isn’t too blunt. Dread climbs up your throat. “- romantically interested in you.”

Oh. So he isn’t as oblivious as you’d hoped.

“No, it’s all good.” You muster a polite smile, though you’re internally dying. Whether it’s from the fact that it’s being mentioned aloud, or him actually acknowledging it, or the way you can see two of your siblings brazenly ogling the interaction in your peripherals as you try to ignore them in vain, you’re clueless. “It’s not your fault… or anyone’s really.”

“I know,” he says, a tad quicker than you finish. He raises his eyebrows, suppressing a self-satisfied smirk directed in the distance. “But anyways, I think I have a solution.”

Your interest is piqued. Anything to stop the rumours that the two of you had kissed behind the Apollo cabin, to silence the snorts and innuendos thrown at you whenever Luke’s name was mentioned in your vicinity. “Really?”

He swivels to face you, halting the little stroll. You mimic his movements. “A possible solution. I mean, it would definitely work, but-.”

You tilt your head at him quizzically. “Then why is it only ‘possible’?”

He inhales. “It involves you. A lot. And you might not want to do this.”

“Do what?” Your impatience amplifies with Luke’s every ambiguous phrase. What is he thinking of?

He looks around, ensuring there’s no-one in earshot. “Date me.”

He says it so coolly, so quickly, you think you’ve heard him wrong. He must be talking about the weather, or about the arrival of a new camper, or-

Your eyes are fixed on him, jaw slack. “What?”

Eyes widening in understanding, he realises his mistake, backtracking quickly. “Not, like, dating-dating. Fake dating. Pretending to be in a relationship.” He lets it sink in for a second. “Everyone would shut up about how good we are for each other, and how we should start dating, because we actually would be. Or it would look like it, anyways. But it’s your choice.” He gauges your expression as you mull it over.

He has a point. Multiple, in fact. It’s not that you’re disgusted at the prospect of being paired with Luke- you’ve just… never considered it before, the thought foreign. The relationship between the both of you has always been friendly, borderline formal, even. So it would be nice to live your life without the unrelenting teasing and mocking from half the camp…

“Sure,” you say, attempting to mirror his casual demeanour. “I don’t mind.” His surprise directed at your compliance is evident; his eyebrows arch slightly.

He smiles at you, bemused, eyes reflecting the golden rays of sun beaming down from the summer sky. “Cool.”

An uncertain, electric thrill rushes through you. Nothing like this has ever happened before, and it’s so exhilarating already, and even more exciting. The pair of you shake on it- what’s the worst that could happen?

idk how to feel about this but i hope you like it<3

taglist: @doyouknowwhoyouare13 @explosiongamora @brutal-out-here @absolutely-existing @quickslvxrr @bibliophile-dendrophile

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

[kittyit]

well let me start off by saying that neither ww1 nor ww2 were actually called that during their durations so expecting any country leader to stand up and say "hey this is ww3 right here" is non-sentical, it would be a career suicide (in the reasonable parts of the world anyway, not USA). The image of ww3 is almost universally used as fearmongering and announcing it at any official capacity would send the world into panic mode, which is very counterproductive to any party.

Notice how any currently ongoing grab for land (by which I'll be further meaning Russian invasion into Ukraine, genocide in Gaza and Azerbaijan occupation of Artsakh though I'm sure there are more things I'm not fully in touch with) explicitly avoids being called war as well. They're always reclamation that, special military operation this. This is entirely intentional because nobody wants a fucking war but minds a military operation.

That aside now think about the ongoing issues too. War in Ukraine, Ukrainian side is supplied by the western powers/NATO, Russian side is supplied by Iran, North Korea, China. This is basically repeating the lineup of the cold war with some adjustments with Ukraine as a testing ground for weapons. But we'll have to examine that further than just Putin loosing his marbles at long last because this is a part of a long lived imperialist pipe dream of restoring USSR/Russian Empire; it is geopolitically motivated at the top levels and xenophobically at the low levels. Not that Putin and his underlings don't believe Ukrainians are lesser people, they just don't care about that as much as they care about conquering the parts of Ukraine that are the most resource lucrative - the eastern coal, steel and previous stone mines, the southern parts with open access to black sea, famously lucrative Ukrainian agrarian regions. They already profit off it so this is neither simply political agenda nor a blatant cash grab, it's both a fascist, imperialist ideology combined with a land grab rush. Which they are winning.

And if we look into Armenia vs Azerbaijan situation then you'd notice it looks very similar. Azerbaijan #1 ride or die ally is Turkey, and Armenia is located very inconveniently in geopolitical terms, nevermind the fact that it has already suffered a genocide and had land taken. It's common knowledge that Turkey also has a pipe dream of restoring the Ottoman Empire. Source: 1) they tell on themselves constantly if you pay attention 2) the entire invasion of Cyprus for no fucking reason in 20th century 3) the tongue-in-cheek diplomacy with Greece for ages. Both Armenia and Azerbaijan were once part of the Ottoman Empire, and while it is doubtful that Azerbaijan would officially join Turkey provided an opportunity, they're close allies to the point where things like borders don't really matter (Russia and Belarus are similar, though there actually was an attempt to unite them legally that kinda fell through). But Turkey is in NATO and is posing as an overall Good Guy so Erdogan would never actually put his act where his mouth and ideas is. Now "tiny irrelevant" Azerbaijan, supplied by Turkic weaponry (which is nothing to scoff at - they do supply NATO fyi)? Easy. And there we have another ethnic cleansing and an open intend to go whole way.

Now some were suprised by Russia standing aside in Artsakh when they were supposed to help their ally but you can't miss out on the context that Armenia was never a full hearted ally of Russia and was basically forced to join the alliance out of fear of eradication, and Russian troops were actually on site of Artsakh helping the Azeri side. This has not come as a surprise to Armenians who were wholly aware of their political situation, because we need to keep in mind that Putin is friends with Erdogan (because he helped negotiate the Black Sea routes with Putin - remember that?), and by extension is married to the "let's restore the Ottoman Empire" imperialist dream. It holds little threat to him because one, Erdogan owes Russia in both economy and help with Artsakh, and two, Russia does still have more military power than Turkey has.

Putin's hand and approval partially guided the invasion in Artsakh and fully guides the war in Ukraine, he is also on good terms with Netanyahu, Israeli soldiers in Gaza use Russian's handbook on propaganda and public relationships. Also China is supplying Russia and North Korea, so there's also that. Also Russian presence in Africa, forgot to mention that. On the "western" side we have America and other NATO members supplying Ukraine, Belarus is so fully immersed into Russia people forget it's a state, Poland and Baltics all but openly stating they're preparing for invasion in case Ukraine loses and ceases to exist - which is will, and sooner rather than later. What's in it for USA? Land and money, mostly tbh. It's not about defeating Putin, it never was (Trump fucking loves him but nothing will stop him from switching up when Putin inevitably attacks Poland/Finland/etc as he has already stated he intends to), but trapping already broke eastern Europe in even more unpayable debt which they will be forced to pay off in labor and resources, as well as some ideological boost of morale? Please.

Empires' dick measuring contest, doesn't that remind you of anything? It will be more complicated than both of the previous world wars because we also have late stage capitalism and propaganda machines unlike anything humanity has ever seen before, but structurally, it will be more reminiscent of ww1 than ww2.

We don't call it WW3 despite how many countries are involved politically and financially *yet* because nothing has so far happened on American or Western European soil nor have either started a draft, but I think it's fairly safe to say we're in the beginning years of one, think 1939, especially with a fascist government rising to power in USA. So my answer is yes, ww3 full swing in the following 10 years is almost guaranteed, but we're kind of already in one in everything but name.

That said, I might be biased, seeing as I am Ukrainian.

thanks for sharing your thoughts. honestly this is out of my wheelhouse as I'm slowly understanding more and more geopolitics but I appreciate you explaining your perspective and it's valuable to hear from a Ukrainian sister. wishing you nothing but the best

[centrally-unplanned]

In news from a different world, last December J-pop idol Miho Nakayama passed away, quite shockingly so at the age of 54. I have no connection to her music or acting, but of course I do appreciate her role in the very early history of video game development and dating sims via the 1987 Famicom game Nakayama Miho no Tokimeki High School, which I have discussed before. I decided to play the game "in memoriam", as it were - it does in fact have an English patch, and you can see a playthrough of said patch on YouTube here. It was time to experience my very own 80's high school idol love story <3.

To the surprise of no one, this game sucks. It essentially had to, no real fault on the developers, but that doesn't change the facts. It is working with incredibly limited graphical capabilities of course, with the average scene looking like this:

Which just isn’t enough for “ambiance” immersion to work, every setting is generic by definition. That can of course be saved by a good plot or gameplay, but neither shows up here; there is barely any story to speak of. Main Guy goes to new school, meets “Mizuho”, realizes she is secretly pop idol Miho trying to live a normal life, they start dating, and paparazzi-types and the pressures of her career get in the way such that eventually (based on your route progression) she breaks up with you or you stay a couple and ride off into the sunset together. Literally by the way, a friend loans you a motorcycle so you can escape the press:

You might be saying “surely you are skipping some things” but I assure you it is nothing important. Neither Miho nor the main character have any personality to speak of, and your time is filled generally by comedic hijinks or just the mechanics of progressing the relationship. There is a fat-faced friend who gossips about school, you have a family that ~exists, there is a stuck-up rich girl you speak to about twice before she kidnaps you in order to serve you drugged food so you will date her (as was typical for 1980’s courtship norms) which happens solely to make you late for a date with Miho to create drama, and so on - it is all as tiresome as it is irrelevant. You can even poke your head into the girl’s locker room at some point, the crown jewel of filler content:

This isn’t even arcade-cabinet-strip-mahjong levels of hot, I know video games of the era could do better than this! Though for all the extraneous plot beats and side characters, I did like “The Trio”, a group of cackling girls who follow you around like a Greek chorus taunting you for your desires:

In another game these fey spirits would devour your organs at the right moment, mad respect. 

Anyway, all of this plot filler is used to stretch out the non-story but in that task it gets a helping hand from the game mechanics, which are a classic example of arbitrary progression gatekeeping. Half the dialogue options are just variants of the same core emotion, and the right answer is inscrutable. You get moments like this one, where Miho is apologizing to you for a misunderstanding:

And all of these answers are pretty dismissive? But the right answer is A, the meanest of them! Guess she has a type, but since you as a player haven’t negotiated her safe words yet you don’t know that and are just gonna facecheck your way through these.

As the cherry on top the advertised “facial expression” system is actually a letdown - it is very rarely used, most dialogue options don’t ask for it, and when they do you have six options:

But you actually never use half of these, and 90% of the time the correct answer is “normal”. At least this was bad in a “too easy” way, so it doesn’t waste your time, but you could just remove it as a mechanic and miss nothing. All of the “interactive” elements could be replaced by linear narrative, actually, and nothing would be lost.

Besides the competitive media mix aspects of the game, obviously. Which is what it is all about, right? This ain’t some random 8-bit idol, this is Miho Nakayama! And even in-game she is pretty cute, I do like the design for the close-up convos:

The glasses-for-disguise are nice with her moe eyes, the details of the shading really pop in an 8-bit context, and really the whole framework of the UI as this sort of flip picture book is adding value here (as opposed to being irrelevant in the location shots). They even give her a bunch of different outfits on your dates because as the heroine she deserves it:

“Ash, those first two are literally just palette swaps” “No man, look, the red one is using dithering to create a fade effect on the colors, implying a more complicated pattern like plaid thatching, while the blue one uses bold lines to imply a striped coat”. It was impressive in 1987, alright! This girl has no textual personality but there is life in this design that stands out from its peers.

But of course it isn’t the in-game graphics doing the heavy lifting here. As mentioned before, this was a “Telephone Game”, where players would be prompted at times to call phone numbers Nintendo had rented out to hear voicemails Nakayama had recorded. These voicemails are, to the best I can tell, lost to us - I have not found an existing recording online. They were only up briefly actually, for a few months after the game was released - this was not an era where longevity for games was considered important. We do have transcripts of them though, and I can imagine that picking up your house phone, calling a phone number, and getting the actual voice of the “character” in the game talking to you - making your heart go doki doki if you will - must have been pretty cool.

(Miho even travels throughout the game, and the phone numbers - according to this blogger - actually use location-appropriate area codes so it feels like you are really calling Osaka or Hokkaido! Very cool…unless - according to another blogger - you got hit with long distance calling charges for your pursuit of troubled love, as was reported in the media at the time. Now that’s authenticity?)

This mechanic is essentially a ludomantic experience that is impossible to capture today, because voice acting in video games is incredibly common; so much so that it would come off as gimmicky to make someone go through such a multi-device process. But since the Famicom couldn’t make vocal sounds, it had to make you use your phone, which created the simulacrum of actually calling a real human outside of the game to talk to. That is pretty neat!

As mentioned, the media mix came bundled with a competition - the winners were the first 16,000 players to submit a “Best Ending” record via the barely-used Famicom Disk Fax system. As helpfully explained in the instruction manual alongside photos of the IRL Nakayama:

And the big prize of a VHS tape of behind-the-scenes Nakayama stuff has been preserved, and is easily available if you want to watch it. Don’t though, it isn’t worth it; it is primarily b-roll footage of her doing typical day-to-day tasks and softball interview questions about “what is her type” with generic answers, stuff like that. Solid C- for the genre. But still, you didn’t know that when competing, right? The pressure to get your game file in was fierce.

I mentioned how the game essentially “had to be bad” at the start, and I want to dig into why that is. In my initial post I linked, I actually made a false statement - I said the development time for the game was “2 weeks”. I said that because the game’s Wikipedia page in English says it and so it is common trivia on the net, but I don’t think that it is true. Even when I typed it in that original post, the back of my mind was going “wait, that can’t be literally true, it is very hard to make a game that fast in that era - these guys are coding in Assembly!”, but I sort of hand-waived it away as, oh something like they were harvesting an existing game prototype or somesuch. But I believe this fact comes from a mistranslation of interviews like this one:

岩田: 坂口さんは『ファイナルファンタジー』の開発を終えて、『トキメキハイスクール』に合流さ��たんですか？ 坂口: ええ。チームの何名かが合流して、３カ月間くらいでしょうか。で、最後は１０名くらいのメンバーといっしょに京都にやって来て、２週間くらいカンヅメになって、なんとか開発を終えることができたんです。

Or:

Iwata: Sakaguchi, did you join the "Tokimeki High School" project after finishing development on "Final Fantasy"? Sakaguchi: Yes, that’s right. Several team members joined the project for about 3 months, I think. And then near the end of development, about 10 of us came down to Kyoto and we holed up for around 2 weeks until we somehow managed to finish the game.

So what is going on here is the game’s development was a joint production between Nintendo - in Kyoto at this time - and up-and-coming game company Square in Tokyo. And yes, they were literally working on Final Fantasy right before this game, and switched gears to tackle this new project. Or at least some of them did, for 3 months, and then famed-director-of-Final-Fantasy Sakaguchi came down to Kyoto and lived out of a hotel for two weeks doing crunch to finish it off. That fact, probably because Sakaguchi is the famous person reporters would care about, got transformed into the idea that the whole game took 2 weeks to make. 

In this same interview they talk about how, at the end of that crunch, they all went out for drinks to celebrate…until they got a phone call about how the motorcycle in the ending credits is glitching out and flying off the screen, which they thought was a hilarious, beautifully fitting bug for their time together. And that is hilarious, the primary reason I am recounting it, but I also think it goes to show that this was a hot mess of a game dev process. 2 weeks or ~3 months, both of those are not enough time. And with two companies in different cities, doing crunch out of a hotel, wrangling with a record label for a pop idol’s permission, setting up phone line recordings and VHS tapes and a bonus competition using experimental fax machines, all aligned with a media blitz? All for a game genre that honestly hadn’t been done before? I have checked, and you can authentically argue this is the first ever dating sim, at least on a console. People overstate what it is inventing - it is pulling tropes from romance anime and manga, of course - but even that process of transference is tough. This wasn’t a genre yet, and in a way they weren’t even trying to make a dating sim. They were trying to make an event.

One that today you just can’t experience. Very few people care about Nakayama Miho “like that” anymore, we aren’t seeing the commercials or the magazine ads or buying the discount unofficial strategy guide that invented a fake protagonist and never used Miho’s name because they didn’t have the rights. Today you play the game just because it is a game, and when you hit the phone numbers you tab over to a transcript of the voicemails…or maybe don’t even bother. The game was just a vessel for the hype. That doesn’t make the game good, by the way, I don’t want to go that far. The game was a not-very-good vessel for the hype, and an anachronistically better team could have made a better game. It isn’t really worth playing, in the end. But it is worth researching! As an event, it is really cool. As a piece of history, it is probably unique. And I respect the team behind it for that.

[shiningshenanigans]

If I had a nickle…

For every time I shipped a guy and a girl…

Where the guy comes from a semi-privileged background and stable home life (albeit with a very dysfunctional family who is kinda mean to him)…

and the girl is a scavenger who has been fighting to survive her whole life because of a totalitarian regime…

and they’re forced into a situation where they have to work together and kinda start getting attached to each other…

and the guy is HOPELESSLY head-over-heals besotted and in love with the girl and, like, doesn’t even try to hide it… 

and the girl… kinda likes him back? But like it’s hard to tell? Because like I said, Girl has been fighting to survive her whole life, and is still very much in survival mode, and her fight-or-flight response is so through the roof right now it’s hard for her to feel that way about anyone at the moment…

also there’s kind of a rebellion/revolution going on against the totalitarian regime I mentioned earlier, and Girl is very focused on killing The Leader of said totalitarian regime, so romance is kinda the last thing on her mind…

but also their love is like this weird powerful force that’s fueling said rebellion, so she can’t really get away from it?

And she acts super cold and indifferent toward him but the second he’s in any kind of danger she immediately throws herself under the bus to save him…

(by the way they balance each other out really well, because Guy is not really much of a fighter, but he’s super charming and good at negotiating with people so he helps Girl grow in that area, cause she’s really bad at it)…

and they’re being mentored by a slightly cynical middle-aged man who “loves a good drink”…

(who totally has a crush on his cute-but-brainwashed-by-the-badguys female superior)…

oh yeah and remember The Leader of the totalitarian regime I mentioned earlier? He’s, like, weirdly invested in their love story and has been watching it unfold this whole time…

(and we don’t really know why he’s so obsessed with them, other then that they remind him of a situationship he was in ages ago, which ended really badly because he was paranoid, so now he’s living vicariously through them while at the same time scrambling to maintain the fragile power of his regime or something like that)…

and he keeps using his power to make them play weird games where he constantly tries to pit them against each other and get one of them to kill the other… 

(he actually does almost brainwash the guy into killing the girl at some point, but Guy wakes up and is like “Naw man, I’m in love with her, I will endure endless psychological torture before I do that.”)

and don’t forget, “This series is actually incredibly profound and thought-provoking and has some really deep things to say about freedom and government control and the value of human life, but for some reason nobody wants to talk about those things because all they care about is shipping drama (even though shipping should be a non-issue because the narrative makes it 100% clear who the cannon romance is)…”

…I’d have two nickels.

Say it with me kids…

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 1 - MONTH MINUS 6 - THE CONSULTATION

The specialest of special thanks to @ayviedoesthings for creating the original Dragon HRT story, and a big shoutout as well to @kaylasartwork, @welldrawnfish, @nyxisart, and @deadeyedfae for their takes on the concept! Every one of you is inspirational, and your work gives me so much second-hand gender euphoria!

NEXT

---

"Miss Alexis, please come in."

I look around as I walk inside. Between the doctor being a balding middle-aged man and the office looking like any generic doctor's office, I'm honestly a little disappointed. I was hoping the infamous source of therian HRT would be a little more… I don't know. Exotic? Unique? I was half expecting the walls to have before and after photographs of clients, but I suppose when it comes down to it, this is a serious medical facility, not a beauty salon. I walk up to the desk and sit down in the chair.

"Now I understand you wish to be a… a tiger?"

I'm unable to suppress my euphoria at the idea, and I start grinning and nodding. "A white tiger! I haven't changed my fursona since I got one, it's about time I start embodying it!"

"Indeed… And I see on your medical history that you are transgender." He mutters under his breath, "Just like all the others…"

I give a little smirk. 'All the others' are the reason I'm here. If this guy is handing out meds that can turn people into dragons or fish or bats, then a tiger should be easy, right? It's a mammal, and not much bigger than a human, relatively speaking. I had even given some thought to the rumoured "Fifteen Minute Shortcut", but when it comes down to it, even if I did have the ungodly pain tolerance to withstand such a rapid transformation of my bone structure and musculature, I… don't really want to do it quickly. Mundane HRT has already been such an absolute gift in terms of euphoria from noticing the slow and gradual changes, I want to keep that up. I want to notice the little things.

"Now I'm afraid there are some requirements to be settled first…"

Oh boy. Here comes the bureaucratic bullshit. Everything that's been put in place to make sure Our Children don't Make A Terrible Mistake. When it comes down to it, bodily autonomy only counts when you're not one of the weirdos. The instant you decide to be capital-d Different, people start falling over themselves trying to talk you out of it.

"First of all, I see that you have been taking human hormone therapy for a little over six months. We do require a full year of human treatment before beginning therian treatments, and I'm afraid that is fully non-negotiable. There are matters of biology that require the body to be a certain degree of… receptive."

I was afraid of this, but at least it's not a deal-killer. Another half-year is bearable, even if I am going to be shaking with anticipation the entire time.

"I also see you have letters from a practicing physician and a social worker, but we do require a second psychologist to be involved in the process."

Okay. Absolute horseshit, but not impossible. All I've got to do is find another social worker or psychologist. And pay them for several months of sessions. And hope they don't decide I'm crazy for wanting to throw away my humanity. I can feel my expression souring…

"It's also required to live as your desired species for at least a year before beginning the process."

"What." I'm leaning forward and glaring at the doctor before I fully realize it. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that, without the… the requisite biology, or the inborn instincts, or the… the habitat!" I let out a frustrated growl. "Am I supposed to fly off to India or Bangladesh or somewhere, and start camping out in the wilderness??"

"Miss Alexis, please, I'm afraid these are… are the requirements set forth by the guidelines of -"

"Guidelines!" I slam a palm down on the desk between us, before letting out a frustrated breath. "Just that… Guidelines. You know, and I know, that a lot of people have come to you already, with a lot more… exotic requests. Flying animals? Aquatic animals? A fucking DRAGON??"

The doctor seems taken aback, maybe he didn't expect this level of resistance.

"What is even the natural habitat of a dragon anyway? Or the diet? Or the behaviours in the wild?? It's a mythical creature for gods' sakes, there's no firm evidence they even existed!!" I stare at him, unblinkingly, with what I dearly hope is a predatory glare. "But I do get it, though. You have to be absolutely sure I won't regret it. Liability, or whatever. …Maybe we just need to know how hard I can BITE."

Something changes in his expression. ...Malice? No, not quite. A sort of… satisfaction, maybe.

It was a test. He wanted to know whether I'd just roll over and accept the impossibility of my quest, or whether I was prepared to fight for it.

Joke's on him, just getting human HRT was such a godsdamned hassle, I already know how to fight.

He adjusts his glasses. "Perhaps there is something I can do for you… Let me get you some forms."

[lalune9x]

chapter 354 got translated today and man. yoojin one shotting a guy while being hand cuffed? top tier yoojin moment, hes truly the only one who could be the mc of s classes 10/10.

but tbh the way that part is written is kinda difficult to envision. if you have the time, could you sort of step-by-step what happens there? its a very short scene, only like 3 lines of text max, it just happens so fast that i couldnt read the action well enough to understand it.

omg yeah I love that scene so much, you don't expect it at all so it's kind of shocking, but then it also makes perfect sense because of how disgusted Yoojin is by the guy threatening a kid, especially his brother, and the fact that the guy was still posing a threat to the people Yoojin cares about. It's like the perfect storm of things that would motivate Yoojin to coldly off someone.

and honestly the action was a bit hard for me to understand too. I think it's not written that well in the first place, like the details aren't there in korean. but below is my personal take on that overall scene, with my minor interpretive embellishments to flesh out the physical action sequence! basically I think the most important details to understand are 1. Wanyong is standing across the table from Yoojin, 2. Yoojin moves to fully sit on top of the table with his knees on top of it facing Wanyoung (that's my interpretation since the novel only says he raised his body up on the table and sat), 3. the motion he does is like a back roll (뒤구르기) off the table.

I found this video that might kinda help visualize the roll? although in this video the motion is as if Yoojin used the leg closer to Wanyoug, but the way I visualize it is Yoojin twisting his body more towards Wanyong and using the leg farther from him in order to get more momentum... I might be wrong about that though.

edit: thinking about it more, I'm less sure that what the author wrote physically makes sense lol, but it specifically says he drove the guy's neck using his knee into the table's edge by "rolling/twisting my body fully as if doing a back roll" (몸을 뒤구르기 하듯 완전히 굴리며 그대로 테이블 모서리를 향해 내 무릎을, 개새끼의 목을 내리찍었다), so...

(Chapter 353 + 354 excerpt below the cut.)

---

After being dragged around and moved over long distances repeatedly, I was genuinely exhausted, not just saying it. I didn't care about dinner or anything else, I just wanted them to let me rest already. But the place they led me to, down a plain, empty corridor, wasn't a bedroom. It was a small room with the atmosphere of an interrogation room, where a middle-aged man was sitting at a table.

"...Your face looks familiar," I said.

The middle-aged man looked at me and smiled.

"Long time no see, Director Han Yoojin."

His intonation and lip movements were Korean. Was this guy Korean?

One of the Chinese hunters twisted my arms behind my back and handcuffed me. Them suddenly acting like this made it clear that the middle-aged man in front of me was a non-Awakened.

"Oh, how delightful to meet a fellow countryman in a foreign land~" I drawled. "Or at least that's what I should say. But who are you, again?"

As I approached the table, the middle-aged man stood up, his lips twisting into a sneer.

"I was part of the Hunter Association. Thanks to Director Han—"

"Oh, I remember now! You're Wanyong-ssi. Your family name is Lee, right? Wow, no wonder these Chinese guys seem to know so much about me. You've really been living up to your name, Wanyong-ssi."

My Poison Resistance was one thing, since many people at the hospital knew about it, but my 'Sapling' Skill had been kept top secret. I'd only told the Association about it during our negotiations about the Awakening Center.

At my words, Wanyong's face suddenly contorted, and he seized me by the collar. 

"You little shit, you're all talk!"

"As if I could out-talk you. How much did you blab about me, huh? Your face is nice and shiny, so it seems you've been treated well."

"I was the Director of HR for the Hunter Association—!"

"Yes, Wanyong-ssi, I said I know that already."

His face contorted even more—he looked like he was about to hit me.

"If you've sold out your country to get where you are, it makes sense to just live quietly. So why did you want to come see me? What else did you sell off? Being the head of HR, you must have leaked all of the Association Hunters' abilities. Good thing Director Song isn't officially part of the Association, huh? The Association wouldn't have just thrown you out, either. They would've made you sign a contract to keep your mouth shut, so I guess you got a nice 'bonus' for opening it."

Just in case, I temporarily turned off my Curse Resistance. If Wanyong-ssi suddenly made an about-face and embraced me, it might nullify his curse. He spat out a string of curses in response to my words. Had he not been able to lift the curse he'd gotten as a penalty for breaking his contract? He seemed physically fine, so I wondered what kind of curse it was.

"I worked my way up in the Association from the very beginning!"

"I heard about that. You played a big role in kicking out the early members, didn't you? Those who kick people out are bound to be kicked out in return eventually. Life goes round in circles, doesn't it? Seems you got what you deserved."

Did he meet me just to vent his frustration? That didn't seem likely. I never expected the people expelled from the Association who had managed to avoid prison would live quietly, but I also hadn't expected them to start selling information so quickly. Even if I had known, there wasn't much I could've done to stop it.

'They should write stronger contracts.'

But the Association had to consider human rights issues, too. They couldn't write stuff like 'your head will roll if you talk.' That was also why they often turned a blind eye when hunters hid their skills or stats during registration.

"Did you bring any friends along with you? How's MKC doing? I heard they teamed up with China as well. Did you sell off a lot of information about the Rearing Facility? What about Haeyeon?"

When I mentioned Haeyeon, Wanyong-ssi's grip on my collar tightened. He yanked me partway onto the table. The sharp edge of the metal table hurt.

"Younger brother or older brother, both bastards…" that guy muttered through gritted teeth. What did Yoohyun have to do with this?

"Why are you dragging someone else's younger brother into this?"

"Don't you know that when that little shit Han Yoohyun first awakened, the Association tried to take him in? Well, that bastard caused quite a mess."

I knew about the Association temporarily taking Yoohyun in for protection, but a mess? As I involuntarily frowned, Wanyong’s mouth started running again. His mouth was clearly much livelier than mine.

"Since he was a minor and an S-rank, we tried to persuade him to join the Association. I told him that if people found out a kid who had no other resources was an S-rank hunter, his family wouldn't be safe either."

…I recalled how cold Yoohyun had become when he returned after having been gone for a few days. So the Association bastards had been feeding him that nonsense. It wasn't entirely wrong, though. If Yoohyun and I had remained on good terms, there definitely would've been people trying to take me hostage to exert control over an S-rank hunter who had no backers.

But to threaten a kid with that kind of talk? What kind of adult did that?

"As you said, he was just a kid. And you tried to make him bow down to you by using his family? You filthy fucking bastard."

Trying to manipulate a child by exploiting his weakness. It was utterly disgusting. Even between adults, using family as hostages was a dirty move, but he was a minor. Rage flared up inside me.

The bastard sneered. "Do you know that fucking brat destroyed the temporary accommodations for high-rank Awakened and beat down all the Association hunters? We tried to persuade him as nicely as possible, but fuck, that little shit threatened to kill us if we interfered with his plans to create his own guild—"

"He did a good job, then," I said.

My Yoohyun was clever. Before he got Seok Shimyung's help, I had worried about how he would manage to establish a guild by himself. But it turned out he'd been ordering around scumbags like the guy in front of me. I was glad that kid had an easier time than I thought.

"You failed to use his family as leverage against him, and since he was an S-rank hunter without any weaknesses, you must have been terrified. Because if you pissed him off, he could've just killed you all and gone overseas, where he'd be welcomed. So you had to quietly clean up after my little brother to stay alive. Thanks for that. Really, thanks."

Once Yoohyun actually established the guild, threatening them like that wouldn't have worked. Because if he wasn’t careful, it could have negatively impacted the guild. But before that, even if they tried to cause a scene by threatening to publicize the situation, he had nothing to lose. After forming the guild, there was a chance it could have become a weakness, but Seok Shimyung probably handled that well.

Wanyong spat more curses. I glanced around to check my surroundings. Two hunters were guarding the door, and Chu Huoyun stood beside them, looking bored. There was one more guard standing by the table, but he wasn't that close. He didn't seem like a high-rank hunter, either.

"So, Wanyong-ssi, do you still have connections in Korea? Although the Association has been cleaned up, it hasn’t been completely overhauled, so I’m a bit concerned."

We had only excised the most critical parts. Although internal cleanup was ongoing, it was impossible to completely eradicate the rot.

The edge of the metal table. Would it work? I should've worked out more.

"I can't escape from here anyway, so how about you just tell me who the spies are?" I suggested, then said, "Ah, this position is uncomfortable."

Grumbling for him to let go of my collar, I casually pulled myself up fully to sit on top of the table facing him.

"You think I'd tell you that?" Wanyong said. "But I can offer you some advice, Director Han."

Hmm, was this perhaps one of those moments? Where the one who defected first tries to convince the other person to join them, saying something like, 'If you want an easier life, too~' I've seen scenes with that kind of 'comrade' talk before.

Either way, this guy would keep leaking information from Korea, and he had also threatened my little brother.

"Really? Someone who picks fights wants to give advice?" I asked. "You're terrible at your job."

"You picked the fight first! After you got fussed over by all those S-ranks, I wanted to come and enjoy seeing you get dragged in here—"

I threw my upper body backward hard. My back hit the table and the bastard gripping my collar stumbled, falling forward across the table beside me. At the same time, I kicked off its surface and raised my leg over my head towards him. My bent knee made contact with the back of the bastard's neck, and as I twisted my whole body backwards like I was doing a back roll off the table, I drove my knee — and the bastard's neck — down toward the table's edge.

Bang!

That loud impact noise accompanied the sickening crack of his neck breaking. One of the Chinese hunters rushed forward a moment too late and grabbed me. Wanyong's body slid off the table and collapsed onto the floor.

"Healer—shit, no, he's dead!"

A knee strike alone was dangerous enough. With the metal table adding to the force, a non-Awakened would have a hard time surviving. Chu Huoyun leisurely strolled over and nudged Wanyong's body with his foot. Then he turned his gaze to me. I smiled as if asking if he had a problem.

"You're more ruthless than you look."

[americascomic]

Hello. I sat here for a good 30 minutes trying to think of best how to ask this question without giving the online version of an annoying exposition dump, so I hope this somewhat makes sense: I’ve found myself, increasingly, having conversations with the more tenderqueer-esque queers in my life surrounding slurs- specifically slurs like faggot and tranny. I’m a trans guy, and I was told by another trans guy of the genre of person i just mentioned that only gay men can reclaim the word faggot, and trans women can reclaim the word tranny. I thought this was a stupid and gatekeep-y idea, and told him so, but i have been genuinely wondering if this is just a manifestation of terminally online induced queer infighting or a form of ignorant transmisogyny on my part. Is tranny a slur directed at and only to be reclaimed by trans women? Or is it just another tick in the barrel of a long line of slur speciation discourse?

I think the short answer of who can say what slur is "this is terminally online bullshit"

And my second answer is "this is a conversation that mostly people under the age of 30 have, and people mostly online have." I think the age is important - it's feels like it's a developmental phase a lot of queers go through, where they negotiate their identity." So, like I'm patient (if a little irked) when I see it on my feed. Or hear some dipshit socially awkward t-femme at Bluestockings rudely chime in to a conversation I'm having with a friend.

and I sometimes put it as a hypothetical;

I'm telling you right now, as a trans woman, in my lived experience, people of your exact intersecting identities are only allowed to say the word "tranny" on a Tuesday and "faggot" on a Friday. If you forget, remember 'tranny' and 'Tuesday' starts with 'T' and 'faggot' and 'Friday' starts with 'F'

Like, that's absurd for me to ask. And so I think that kind of forces the thought that at the end of the day I'm the one asking it. There'll be no consensus on this issue.; you have to decide for yourself whatever or not to respect one point of view over the other.

We say "listen to black people" but I had this moment in my life where IRL I did a call-out of Nazis in my community and a Black friend told me that I was talking over people of color and another thanked me for speaking up in a way that they wouldn't be listened to. Who is right? Neither. Both. You have to decide for yourself and have a strong sense of race. Same with interacting with our own queer community.

Who can say what queer slur where and when is a thing that can never be litigated online. It's such an interpersonal person-to-person thing. There's no pundit square that can fit all slurs and all identities and all experiences.

in the case of the teen in the previous story who told me not to use the word "tranny," I immediately retorted that people say that word to me on the street and spit at me, which means they recognize it as a thing of power and so I will use that power. And I don't think she'd ever had copped to it, but I think changed her mind because she was saying "tranny" over the next months.

I think for some of this shit, us trans women policing who can say "tranny" is us just doing a proxy war for transmisogny. Like, we get transmisogny in our community, an AFAB person queer person of some type who could probably leverage their privilege against us says "tranny," I can see it irking some. But, have you met a trans woman? Everything irks us. We're reprehensible.

And, I think in terms of your conversation and your friend. I dunno, I think of who-gets-to-be-lesbian discourse. I see so many people online twist in the wind trying to justify to others that they're a trans masc lesbian, or a non-binary lesbian or a bisexual lesbian and I'm kinda sitting there on my ass wondering why they're trying so hard to get probably the dumbest people online to justify our identity. Like, we're hear, we're queer, get used to it. I sometimes feel of the matter that we're all a mass medium as one and just going about shit without apology as a way to force people to confront our humanity.

Iffen you want my personal feelings on the matter, you're just as impacted by the codified violence of the state that's imposed on us and so we're all faggots at the end of the day. But the t-girl sitting next to me might feel differently, and you have to negotiate with that. Sometimes times calls for moments of respect and sometimes it's a matter of saying "fuck it" and doing the thing you know how it is.

If you would like, I can draw you a card that says "Amber, a hot trans woman, says I can say 'faggot'"

Finally, I'll say I wrote a couple paragraphs for you so I'm going to force you to return the favor and just challenge you to sit on your ass and ask yourself in honest ways what the word means and what it means to you and what's beautiful and what's ugly about the word. That - an internal process - a lot more valuable thing worth to litigate then everybody in-community being cops to each other.

And then after that, I always like to challenge people to look beyond the debate. This post I made on the matter is about a dead trans teen. It's nice to debate words, but it's also nice to look out at our wonderful, annoying community, name problems we see that creates material struggle, and then imagine solutions.

[green-kat331]

My Friend Spider-man

Pt 1 : Friendly Neighborhood Reporter

(Non-specific! spider-man x reader)

A/N: This is a spider-man from no specific universe, game, comic, or movie, so let me clear some stuff up about Peter. He's a college student (about 18-19 y/o), and He's an intern at the Daily Bugle. You have been his friend since high school and are also in college and working at The Bugle.

warning: Gun, Swearing?

Walking through the streets of Queens New York is no easy task. 

Your satchel bounced on your hip with each quick step. Today, you had to bring in your most recent reports to The Bugle. Something about a recent sports award or a shiny prize of some sort, you were practically asleep writing the damn thing. Judging by the busy crowd, you weren't gonna make it to save yourself from Jameson's lecture. Although the only thing he ever seems to talk about recently is Spider-man. 

The web-slinging hero has been on everyone's mind recently since yet another save from a superbad villain. You can still see caution tape on a few buildings if you just walk a few blocks. 

Now you're waiting towards the crosswalk when suddenly your arm is harshly pulled into an ally, and a gun is held to your stomach. A man cornered you and demanded your bag. 

"Hand it over, and I won't have to use this one you." 

"I- I swear I don't have anything very valuable in here for you to take. I have reports for my job that's it- I don't even carry a lot of cash on me—" you stutter through your stunned state trying to negotiate your way out of it, even though you know it's pointless 

"I said hand it over!" He demands a little louder now. 

Then another man runs into the alley, about the same age as the first man "Yo hurry up, we gotta get outta here," he whispered 

"Alright! I got it," the first man answers and starts to forcibly pull your bag off your shoulder, but you held on tight. The shaking forced the latch to release, and most of your reports spilled out of the bag. At the same time, the man shot the gun into the air, forcing you to let go and cover your ears. The two men ran out of the alley and into the city streets. 

You're left now alone with no choice but to salvage the papers you could. You held up the report by its edge. Now stained due to water and mud, the text was barely visible and the color was an ugly shade of brown. 

"Ugh...Dammit, " you mumble. To be frank, your pride was more hurt than anything. They were clearly disorganized and young. It felt like you got robbed by a couple of teenagers. 

You look around for any way to hold or dry the pages without damaging them. 

Suddenly, a loud scream catches your attention, then a loud bang makes you jump, and you see the guys that just robbed you wrapped in webs and stuck on a dumpster. Staring in confusion, you wonder where the hero that dropped the men off might be. 

Your question was soon answered. 

"This belong to you?" A voice says now behind you. 

The suddenness of the voice made you jump and turn around. you see the web-slinging vigilante hanging upside-down holding your satchel. You take a step back and stare at the masked hero. He tilts his head in wonder, then comes down from his web and hands you the bag properly. 

"Uh... thank you, Spider-man" A smile couldn’t help but appear on your face

"What this? Oh, it's no problem. Just doing what any good ol' Samaritan woulda done." He expressed even waving his hands in the air and leaning on the alley wall.

You chuckled a bit at his casualness. He spoke as though he'd known you forever. Guess they don't call him 'Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man' for nothing.

3 years he's been at this. For the entirety of your senior year, you've been invested in the good deeds he has committed. Whether it's helping an old woman or keeping the green goblin from blowing up the entire city. 

"So you, Report for the Bugle?" He asks, pointing at the papers. Coming out of your own thoughts. You see the muddy report with the mentioned newspaper logo in bold.

"yeah.. Yeah!.. Don't worry about Jameson. Trust me, not everyone there thinks he's right 100% of the time, especially about you. I don't read his blocks about you anyways," you ramble, kneeling down and picking up the rest of the reports.

"You a word-of-mouth type of person?" 

"... yeah... you could say that..."You respond 

Awkward silence

"...sorry... it's my first time getting robbed, Soo… Y' know I'm still...processing... Well maybe you don't actually know what it's like cuz- y'know-- you're spider-man.. i mean have you ever been robbed? sorry! That''s a stupid question. of course not" You ramble nervously tucking hair behind your ear and rubbing the back of your neck.

He chuckles. Then kneels down, and takes the papers from your arms, also doing his best to shake them dry. He puts them back into your bag, then shoots a web out of the ally "Next time you need my help, be sure to holler and I'll come swinging for you." he says with a wave and swings away. 

You wave back, staring at where he disappeared from, calmly you walk out of the ally preparing yourself for Jameson's lecture, but little does he know a spark of inspiration appeared from that brief encounter. 

Hopefully, today will be your day. 

---

You walk into The Bugle, moving past all the other reporters and editors running around the room. The sound of printers and typing almost made you walk right back out of the door, but you pushed through. 

"Hey,(____)." You hear Peter say. 

If you had to pick the most likable person in the office, Peter Parker would take the #1 spot every time. While people gave you sly looks for being a 'kid' in the work place. He never failed to greet you each morning occasionally with a coffee if you're lucky. 

You quickly greet him back, then immediately go into Jameson's office. 

"You're late." He states, not even bothering to look up at you. You rested the urge to choke him. 

"I know - I uhh I ran into an issue on my way -" 

"Put them on my desk then get working on the other files. They're on your desk. I want these all done by the end of the day" 

As you begin to take the files out, you try to talk, "I was actually thinking of asking if I could -"

"Jesus, they're filthy. Print out more and—" 

"I WAS ROBBED!" You finally shout, interrupting the prideful man "on the way here, that's why I'm late and why the papers are.. like that..." You finished now calmly.

He pauses 

"Well you’re alive arent you? Did they take anything?" He asks. You sigh. Finally, he listened. "No. That's what I wanted to talk about. My stuff was given back because Spiderman caught them and returned my items. I want to do a report on him and all the great things he's done. ," 

"The great things!? He is a menace! We shouldn't be celebrating his crimes -" 

"—I won't even ask for payment on this report. Come on, Mr. Jameson, why spend the entirety of your career shouting in papers and broadcasts about something you don't even like? For a few months is all I ask, I'll shine a different light on the vigilante while also doing my usual reports. 

The older man thinks for a moment. "Think of your blood pressure," you quickly add-in. He glares at you, knowing the numerous lectures he receives from his wife about it. You were right, and he gives up after taking another puff of his cigar he turns his chair towards you "fine you'll be put on reports about Spiderman and current events. Your first print is at the end of the week, and I want the ones on your desk printed by the end of the day." You nod and turn to walk out of his office. Looking out the glass panel, you make eye contact with Peter, who was messing with his camera. You look back at Jameson who was angrily scribbling on his notepad almost ripping the pages. 

"You're wrong about him, Jameson. He's good for this city." 

"You're lucky. You're a good reporter. I don't pay you to be biased and sentimental. Just get the job done." 

"... you don't pay me much of anything anyway." 

"I decided to give the kiddies a chance. I've been feeling generous this year. Don't make me regret it. Now go and get those reports PRINTED!" 

Quickly, you run out of his office, avoiding yet another burst eardrum. you slam the door and rush towards Peter with a giddy feeling in your stomach. You grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to your desk. 

"Peter Parker, you are not going to believe what gold I have struck today!" 

He stared at you with wondering eyes. "What- what? why? What happened just now?" 

"I got put on the Spiderman reports" 

"...the what now?" 

"I'm doing reports on Spiderman! Isn't that exciting? My days won't be filled with just writing about middle school basketball and what ducks are fed at the parks. This is something real, something new, something exciting, and you're going to help me!" You state. He still looks at you bewildered. Leaning in close you grab his hands in between yours.

"Peter Parker, you are the best photographer I know. You have captured numerous and damn near impossibly close images of Spiderman swinging around and in some of the most perfect poses ever." His eyes avert yours for a split second as he blushed, clearly flattered by your praises

"Now I'm relying on your skills to get pictures of him in action, I wanna see him being the hero we know he is. Defeating bad guys and saving civilians! They need to know that he's actually helping people. Like you, like me." 

Peter thinks for a moment, then looks into his camera. "You really think he's doing good?" 

"I think he's doing great. Nothing like what Jamison makes him out to be." 

He gives a quick smile, then walks over to his desk and grabs his bag. "So what are you gonna be doing?" He asks 

Before taking a seat, you grin at your friend.

"I'm going to get whatever little piece of info I can get on the guy."

You smirk and turned back to your desk, you can't think too far ahead now all you need to focus on was getting these reports out of your way. although you couldn't help but wonder about Peters's nervous expression.

shrugging your shoulders you pull open your first file.

Hours Later….

You drag yourself and your bag into your apartment doors nearly collapsing in the hallway, your roommate peaked out of his room.

“Damn, you look like shit,” he says laughing at your misery.

You glared at him putting down your bag and keys. The journey to your bedroom was torturous, your back ached and your eyes felt like they were about to fall out of your head. Staying till the end of the day to finish reports made you want to abandon The Bugle altogether. even though it isn't the latest you've come home due to the heavy amounts of work Jameson decided to give you. But still, who would've thought a rookie like yourself would be placed on a task so much larger than you really knew what to do with. It made you kick your feet into your mattress as your eyes slowly succumbed to exhaustion.

Tomorrow you were gonna do whatever you need to. You were gonna get an interview with Spiderman. 

____________________________________________

Also on AO3 in case you prefer to read fics there

[spine-buster]

So High School ft. Adam Cole | Chapter 6

A/N: We have a 5600 word chapter here, folks...you're welcome!!!

The morning of October 5th was quiet.  Violet and Austin moved around their bedroom and ensuite as they usually did, getting ready for the day ahead of them.  As she always did, Violet made sure to put two hair elastics on her wrist.  She helped him down the stairs before he sat at the dining table.  He couldn’t have anything to eat because of the surgery, and Violet stood with him on that in solidarity.  But she had to have her coffee.  Coffee was her non-negotiable.  She made herself a quick cup, drinking it in front of him like a tease.  Austin kissed her when she finished so he could have even just a smidgen of the caffeine taste. 

As they prepared to leave, Violet made sure to grab a cardigan before getting Austin’s shoes.  She watched as he hobbled to put it on, refusing her help.  “Can I ask you something?” she asked quietly.

“What’s that?”

“Are you nervous?”

Austin paused before shrugging and shaking his head.  “A bit.  He’s one of the best surgeons in the state for this so I’m not worried about him or anything.  Guess I’m just worried about whether it will go well, because it sounds pretty complicated with the screws.  That and the recovery.  What about you?”

“I’m always nervous when you have to go into surgery and recover from something.  You know that,” Violet said.  “Even when you had that stupid bump in your forehead.”

Austin couldn’t help but smile at the memory.  It was just a small cyst but it looked like a devil’s horn was attempting to burst through.  He got made fun of for months by his buddies and the fans for that thing.  “Bet you’re not as nervous as last time, though.”

Austin said it as a throwaway comment, but he was completely correct.  She wasn’t as nervous this time around because, truth be told, the body part wasn’t as important.  “That was your brain we were talking about,” she commented.  “That was quality of life, Austin.  This is different.  Let’s not talk about that.”

She really didn’t want to talk about it.  She didn’t want to remember the day of the test and how hard she’d cried in secret in fear that he’d never recover and turn into a vegetable by the age of 50.  She didn’t want to remember Austin crying, shaking, and vocalizing all his deepest, deepest fears during a panic attack at four in the morning after she’d already been trying to calm him down for an hour and a half.  She didn’t want to remember the desperate call she’d made to Abigail, now a neurosurgeon, about what Austin was going through.  She could honestly say that the day Austin re-took the test a few months later and was above where he was supposed to be was one of the best days of her life.

Austin noticed her change in tone instantly.  “Hey hey…come on,” he cooed, pulling her down to sit beside him on the bench where he sat to put on his shoes.  He wrapped an arm around her strongly.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” she said, keeping her tears in despite her voice.  “That was just a very hard time.  I don’t want to re-live it.”

“You won’t,” he moved to kiss her forehead.  “I promise you.”

There was a moment of silence between them as they sat on the bench together.  “You’re nervous about the recovery, eh?”

Austin nodded.  “Just…you know…what happens if the bone doesn’t heal properly, or something goes wrong during physio.  I don’t know.  You hear all these stories all the time or you see it happen to other guys and it just gets to you.”

Violet nodded.  “But you’re not like other guys.  You’re the strongest person I know.  You’ll be able to do it because you have more drive than anybody.  No offence to your friends.”

He smiled.  Having someone like Violet in his corner for eighteen years now was the biggest blessing in his life.  He’d been with her now longer than he’d been without her.  He squeezed her hand.  “Love you to the moon, Vi.  No matter how much I say I love you, I always love you more than that.”

***

December at St. Anne’s meant midterm season.  Every girl in the school was anxiously studying, visiting their teachers for extra help, and clogging up the library tables with study groups.  The richest girls had their laptops, but most girls obsessively went over their lecture notes from their binders, making flashcards and quizzing each other.  In three weeks, it would be Christmas Break, and Violet would be enjoying hot chocolate with marshmallows by the fire with her mom and dad.  In four weeks, they’d be in Whistler skiing over New Year’s.  All she had to do was get through seven midterms first.

Austin and Violet hadn’t really talked about the implications of what happened after Connor’s party.  They eventually woke up from the floor.  Austin took a shower and Violet took an Advil.  She apologized again for getting drunk and he told her it was okay.  She thanked him for taking care of her and he told her it was nothing, that he wasn’t just going to dump her at the house alone.  She hoped she didn’t say or do anything to embarrassing last night, she said, because she barely remembered a thing.  Austin told her she hadn’t, that she was just super-giggly but then started to complain about feeling sick so that’s when he decided to bring her home. 

There was a moment at her front door as they hugged before he left to go home.  “Thanks again for taking care of me, Austin,” she’d said.

“I’m there whenever you need me,” he’d replied.

She watched him through the glass of her front door.  When he got to the end of her driveway, she watched him standing on the sidewalk, looking up at her house and letting out a big, wistful sigh before beginning a jog down the sidewalk.

After that, it was back to the bus rides.  Everything was normal. 

Somehow, word had gotten around that she had shown up at a Lancaster West party as Austin Jenkins’s friend.  The two schools were down the street from each other, so it was inevitable, but most of Austin’s and Violet’s close friends didn’t exactly run in the same circles, so she had no idea who was the one to tell, who was the one to spread.  All she knew was that it was the hottest topic of discussion a couple of days later.  While she was trying hard to study for her seven midterms, everybody else wanted to know all the gossip.  Did they kiss?  Did they hook up?  Were they official?

“Who even is Austin Jenkins anyway?” Josephine Kominsky asked one day in the cafeteria before the warning bell.

Violet rolled her eyes.  She had to have told close to fifty girls by now.  Josephine was late to the party.  “He’s one of my friends at Lancaster West.  We live in Manheim and take the bus in every day together.”

And then, the flood began.

“I heard that he’s kissing a new girl every weekend.”

“I heard that he’s hooking up with a new girl every weekend.”

“I heard that Marianne Smith from Lancaster West was hooking up with him last year.”

“I heard one of Annie Werenski’s friends was like, you know, dealing with him for a few months last year.  When I talked to her about it, she was like, ‘He’s soooooooo cute but such a sleaze.’.”

“I heard when he was on the junior football team, he made out with three different girls at the same party.  He definitely gets around.”

“I heard that Amy Price called him the best hook up she’s ever had.”

“I heard that Livvy Eaton called him the best hook up she’s ever had.”

“Can we just…” Violet intervened, getting overwhelmed by everything everybody was saying around her.  “Can we just not, please?  He’s my friend, not just some guy we get to gossip about during school.  Like, my actual friend.”

“How long have you known him?”

“How close to you does he live in Manheim?  Does he live in The Berries like you?  Why doesn’t he go to St. Augustine College?”

“What’s he like?”

“What’s with the hair?  Lancaster West doesn’t have hair rules like we do?”

“What does he want to study?”

“What AP courses is he in?”

“Is he applying to UPenn?  What about Yale?  He better not take my spot at Yale.”

Harper and Abigail eyed her from across the table, and motioned for them to leave.  Violet was so grateful in that moment.  “I’m going to class now,” she stood up, ignoring all the girls who kept pestering her with questions.  She felt like a politician who had just be involved in some huge scandal.  The girls were reporters taking down every word while she was the one trying to come up with diplomatic answers that didn’t reveal too much, if at all anything.  She owed it to herself and Austin not to talk about it, since she didn’t even know what it was.  Why was everyone making such a big deal about her going to a party with a friend?  Plus, the last thing she wanted to do was drag him deeper and deeper into the gossip mill of Catholic school girls.  That was a hell exclusively reserved for boys who were sketchy, assholes, or broke their hearts.

The next day, it was still the hottest topic of conversation.  During study hall in the cafeteria, a bunch of girls sat at a table together going over their AP American History notes.  Beth had eyed her down from another study group’s table, and when they had a break, she eagerly came over to sit next to Violet. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t invite me to the party,” she began, a smile and a mischievous glint in her eye.  Not like Violet would have invited her anyway.  After her comments in front of Austin at the last party, Violet wouldn’t be inviting her anywhere for a very long time.  “What was the party like, anyway?  I’ve never been to one with just Lancaster West people.”

Violet wondered why Beth was asking.  It was a house party, for God’s sake, with other teenagers there.  It wasn’t so different than anything else they’d ever been to.  “It was really fun actually.  Really chill.”

“I bet they talked about, like, NASCAR the entire time.”

Violet furrowed her brows.  “Why would they do that?”

“What else do they have to talk about?  It’s either that or they escaped from their Amish colony.”

“You realize Austin and I live in the same place,” Violet said, a harshness in her tone even she wasn’t expecting.  “When you say that sort of stuff about him and his friends, you say that sort of stuff about me.”

“Oh come on, you know it’s just a joke,” Beth waved her off.  “Did your parents meet him?”

“No.”

“Did he kiss you at the end of the night?”

Violet hesitated.  She didn’t want to kiss and tell, but she knew Beth wouldn’t let up until she knew the information.  “No.”

Beth’s eyebrows rose.  “Wow, really?  That’s shocking.”

“Why is that shocking?”

“Because from what I hear, he kissed the last girl he brought to a party.”

Beth stood up without warning, calling out to Jane Dunfield before leaving Violet at the table to soak in what she had just said.  Violet could feel her cheeks flush red, an overwhelming sense of emotion taking over her mind and body briefly.  She knew she couldn’t let Beth’s words or actions get to her, and she resolved to ignore what she just said as much as possible.

___

The next day, study groups congregated in the library.  Violet, Abigail, Harper, and some other girls were diligently memorizing facts about the Louisiana Purchase.  Beth was fooling around at another table, texting away on her phone.  Probably to Carson, she thought.  Violet wasn’t happy when, in the middle of summarizing the main points of James Monroe’s negotiating tactics in France, Beth nestled her way into a seat at their table, right across from her.

“Did you girls hear about Violet’s little rendezvous with Austin Jenkins from Lancaster West?” she began, making Violet roll her eyes.  By this point, it was old news.  Midterms were starting in two days – didn’t she have anything better to talk about?  “Wait till you hear what I’ve heard.”

“Oh, give it a rest—” Harper began, only to be cut off by other girls.

“—Did you hear the Annie Werenski thing, too?—”

“—What about what Livvy Eaton said—”

Beth nodded her head like the cat that got the cream.  “I’ve heard he’s kissed almost half the girls in the junior class at Lancaster West,” Beth smirked.  “He’s a good kisser, too.  Knows how to use his tongue.”

“Beth,” Harper stressed.

“What?!” she demanded innocently.  “Wouldn’t you consider that a compliment?  I know I’d like to hear that I was a good kisser.  Besides,” she shrugged her shoulders, “I also heard he’s a…how should we say…favourite with the girls.”

All the girls at the table leaned in except for Violet, Abigail, and Harper.  Violet found herself feeling hot again.  “What does that mean?” they all whispered one after another.

“Oh come on.  You guys can’t be that innocent,” Beth played at them.  “You know exactly what that means.  With those baby blues?  That hair?  Who can blame any one of them for hooking up with him?”  Beth eyed Violet for her reaction, but she was keeping the best poker face alive.  “Don’t worry.  He’s always got condoms.  Keeps them in his wallet.”

“This is all bullshit,” Abigail was the first to speak up.  “You’re talking out of your ass like you always do Beth.”

“Am not,” Beth glared at her.  “Carson told me all about it.  But trust me.  You want a guy with a bit more experience.  That way it’s not all awkward the first time he sticks it in you,” she gyrated her hips forward, making the chair loudly scratch against the floor and all the girls burst out in a fit of giggles they had to stifle quickly or else the librarian, Mrs. Foster, would shush them.  “Or are you going to make him wait till marriage?”

“Shut up,” Violet sneered.

“Get back to your table.  We actually want to study,” Harper said sternly. 

“Never even mind,” Violet muttered, closing her giant textbook loudly and gathering her notes and flashcards quickly before standing up abruptly.  “I’m going to talk to Mrs. Brooks in her office.”

___

Violet was sitting alone in the library the day before midterms began going over her AP French verb conjugations.  She was speaking them out loud, quietly, to herself, while listening to French music on her iPod.  Surely that would help her ace the midterm.  Traditionally, the day was a skip day and girls would stay at home to study, so there weren’t a lot of girls around – no big study groups taking up every table at the library.  But there were a few girls scattered around…

…and one of them was Beth.

“I come in peace,” Beth said, approaching Violet’s table.  Unlike the previous days when Beth had done this, there wasn’t any mischievous smirk on her face as she sat down across from Violet, no glimmer of gossip in her eye.  If anything, she seemed a lot more paired back than what Violet had experienced.  Harper and Abigail must have really laid into her the day before once Violet stormed off.  “You left yesterday and I didn’t get to apologize.  The condom thing was inappropriate.  I was just trying to be funny.”

It wasn’t exactly an apology, but Violet would have to accept it if they were going to move on.  “Yeah, thanks.”

“And about Austin…” she began, treading on murky waters.  “I’m sure he’s fine.  I mean, if you’re friends with him it must mean something.  Are we good?”

Violet didn’t want to engage.  She just wanted to be left alone with le conditionnel.  “Yeah.  Sure.”

“Good,” Beth nodded, licking her lips slowly.  There was a moment of silence between them.  “I totally get why you have the hots for him, by the way.  Everybody needs a bad boy in their life at least once.  It’s good to get that phase over and done with now.”

Violet furrowed her brows.  “He’s not a bad boy at all.”

Beth rolled her eyes.  “You know what I mean.  Shabby, not chic.  Super rough around the edges.  Wrong side of the tracks.  We all need our fix before locking in the guy who’ll become the investment banker.  This is totally that situation and I love that for you.”

“This is not—I—what are you on, Beth?” Violet’s whispers were getting louder, causing their librarian, Mrs. Foster, to eye them through her glasses.

“Violet.  Come on.  Be realistic.  You have nothing in common with him besides taking the bus together every day.  Your family vacations in Whistler and The Algarve.  Does he even own a pair of skis?  Has he ever been to Europe?—”

“—Beth—”

“—I mean, is he gonna need to get grants for university?  Loans?  Is he even going?  Is he even, like, smart enough to go?—”

“—Beth, I swear to G—”

“—What’s your dad gonna say when you bring him home and he sees some trashy guy from Lancaster West—”

“Shut up!!!” Violet finally exploded.  Her hands had crashed down on the table and she pushed her chair out from under her, the angry energy in her exploding out in every direction as she stood glaring down Beth.  “God Beth do you ever just shut the hell up?!?!”

“Miss Schwarzkopf!” Mrs. Foster said sternly from behind her desk.  “Vice Principal Hanley’s office right this instant!”

“But Mrs. Foster—”

“Now, Miss Schwarzkopf.  Do not make me pick up the phone and make the call myself.”

When Violet looked back at Beth, there was a smug smile mixed with genuine shock on her face.  Violet was almost embarrassed that Beth made her crack, but at the end of the day, Violet wanted to stand up for Austin.  Beth was being pretentious, the worst thing any girl at the school could be.  She failed to recognize how lucky she was to be going to St. Anne’s – maybe her parents never instilled humility in her; maybe she tuned out every time their teachers reminded them how lucky they were to be studying at one of the best schools in the state.  Violet wasn’t that person, and she wasn’t going to engage with those types of people.  And for her to call Austin trashy?  Uncalled for, and so wrong on so many levels there could be an AP exam for it. 

This was it. 

___

Austin noticed something wrong on the bus home to Manheim.  Violet wasn’t as talkative, wasn’t as bubbly as she usually was.  This was going to be their last ride together until the New Year, too, since Violet’s mom was going to drive her to all her midterms – a nice insurance policy just in case something happened with the bus.  He knew midterms for St. Anne’s were starting, but Violet never really got super stressed about her academics.  He could tell something else was bothering her, but he could also tell she was wrestling with herself about whether or not to bring it up.  He tried to make her laugh, tried to pique her interest in something, but her laughs were empty and her interest feigned.  The entire bus ride had gone this way.  Until he realized it didn’t have to be.

With only a minute to go in their commute, and with Violet already having pulled the cable to signal for her stop, he decided to speak up.  “Did something happen at school today?”

She looked at him, shocked, wondering how he knew.  Her father always told her she took after her Italian mother’s side of the family – she wore her heart on her sleeve – instead of his stoic German side.  “Maybe,” she mumbled.

“If I get off with you, will you tell me what happened?  I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like, not genuine.  Something’s bothering you and it’s stopping you from being you.”

What could Violet say?  They had only known each other for a few months, yet he could read her emotions automatically.  It was an incredible feat.  “Can I ask you a question?” she asked, biting her bottom lip and not making eye contact yet. 

“Always.”

She finally looked at him.  “Will you promise not to get mad?”

“Why would I get mad?”

She sighed.  “Word got around that I went to Connor’s party with you.  I obviously don’t even care about that, but this past week all the girls at school have been asking questions and talking about you.  It’s literally all they talked to me about – not even midterms.”

“I don’t even know any girls at your school,” he said.

“I know, but—”

“—No no, like I mean it,” he stressed, an almost confused look on his face.  “I know nobody at your school besides you.  How would they even be talking about me if they don’t know me?”

Well, that eliminated around 75% of the rumours that were being said to her and shoved in her face all week.  The bus pulled in to its regular stop in The Berries and they both got off.  They were lucky it was a fairly mild winter day or else they’d be freezing their asses off.  “Welcome to being a teenage girl at an all-girls school,” she quipped.

“What’d they say about me?” he asked as they began to walk.

“Do you really want to know?”

“If it’s bothering you this much that you want to talk to me about it, then yeah I’d like to know.  That way you can at least hear from me whether the rumours are true or not.”

Violet hesitated.  Was she really going to do this?  If she was going to feel any sense of normalcy again, she guessed she had to.  And now that the cat was out of the bag with Austin, he had to know what was being said about him too.  “I—well, I guess the main things are that you’re really popular with the girls at Lancaster West…if you catch my drift,” she began.  “When you were on the junior football team, you made out with three different girls at the same party.  That you kissed the last girl you brought to a party like Connor’s and that you’re kissing and hooking up with new girls every weekend.  You keep your condoms in your wallet.”

Austin took a moment to soak it all in.  “Wow,” he almost chuckled out.  St. Anne’s girls were hardcore with their gossip.  “That’s…that’s a lot.”

“I didn’t believe any of it,” Violet let out quickly, feeling like she needed to establish that early in the conversation.  “But I just…I want to hear it from you, I guess.  We…we can be open about that sort of stuff, right?”

When Austin looked at her with his big blue eyes, she almost melted right then and there.  “I don’t kiss or make out with a new girl every weekend.  I’m with my dad every other weekend anyway so that’s, like, impossible.  When I was on the junior football team, there was a homecoming party where I made out with one girl, not three, but because I was the new guy on the team everybody made a big deal about it.  I haven’t kissed or hooked up with anyone since my ex-girlfriend last year.  And I don’t keep condoms in my wallet.  You can check right now if you want."

Violet was almost embarrassed for how stupid she felt.  She wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t believe anything the girls had said.  Why did she have to ask him and bring it up?  Austin had never given her a reason to doubt anything.  He’d always been so nice and incredibly kind – probably the nicest and kindest person she knew – and here she was giving those rumours even 0.00000000001% of credence.  “Thank you for being honest,” her voice was small.  “I hope you’re not mad at me.”

Before he realized what he was doing, Austin’s hand laid gently over her forearm.  Even through three layers of fabric, they both felt the electricity.  “I’m not mad, don’t worry.  But can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Why didn’t you believe it?”

“…Because I actually know you,” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “I just knew you weren’t the kind of guy they were trying to make you out to be.  You’re cool and nice and you’re super polite and just, like, a good guy – a decent human being, you know?  The guy they were talking about…whoever it was, it wasn’t you.”

He couldn’t help but smile.  “Thanks, Vi.”

There was a moment of silence between them.  Violet knew that she had to tell him things, too.  It was only fair.  “For what it’s worth…I had a boyfriend last year too, from St. Augustine College.  We only ever made out – actually, we broke up because I wasn’t ready to, like, go further, you know?  He kept trying to pressure me and I didn’t like that.  And there were guys I kissed in freshman year, like two or three of them, I think, but uh…that’s it.”

Austin didn’t like hearing that she had felt pressure from her ex-boyfriend to go further than what she was comfortable doing.  He felt an overwhelming sense of wanting to punch the guy in the face, even though he had no idea who he was or what he looked like.  He’d felt the same way when he was carrying her drunk and she told him some guy had spiked her drink at a party.  Austin may not have been terribly book-smart, but he was definitely street-smart, and read-between-the-lines-smart, and so he knew exactly what she was telling him without actually saying it: she was still a virgin.  He thought to how the nickname for St. Anne’s was the ‘Virgin Megastore’ and, well, it fit the bill with Violet.  “I’m glad you broke up with him if he was pressuring you,” he said.

“Yeah.  Thanks.”

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed about that, you know.”

“I’m not.  I know that I’m not ready,” her voice was confident.

Austin nodded.  Another silence between them.  Violet watched him as they turned onto her street.  He looked like he was struggling to find something to say.  “Um, can I ask you another question?” he asked.

“Yeah, of course.”

More internal struggle.  Then, eye contact.  “One of the girls that was saying all those comments.  Was it…was it that Beth girl?”

Violet didn’t want to admit it.  But she also didn’t want to lie to Austin, so she found herself nodding her head.  “She’s being horrible,” she muttered.  “Like, just totally awful.”

“She’s been texting me.”

Violet stopped dead in her tracks.  The words made everything stop.  “What?”

“Yeah.  I don’t know how she got my number – maybe she asked through Carson, I don’t know – but she’s been doing it for the past few days.”

“What is she saying?”

“See for yourself,” he dug into his pocket to get his phone.  He flipped it open and went to his messages, clicking on her name before handing it over. 

this is beth from the party wassup

how did u get my #

nvm r u dealing w/ my friend violet?  she’s a prude so don’t bother ignoring me? cute. u won’t be able to resist me for long. i can give u what ur looking 4. hey cutie. keep thinking about u and all the fun we can have 2gether.

stop texting me

awwww. shy? don’t be. i’m anything but shy. c 4 urself. [[IMG_48 sent]] i’ll be @ trevor’s party this weekend. will u? let’s have some fun ;) didn’t get 2 c u @ trevor’s party. this is what u missed ;) [[IMG_85 sent]] hope u ignoring me doesn’t have 2 to w/ violet she has a rep 4 giving guys blueballs. don’t want that 2 b u! all she’s talking about is how u brought her 2 that party

STOP TEXTING ME

[[IMG_92 sent]] [[IMG_93 sent]] <3 <3 hey cutie. will u be @ cory’s party this weekend? we can have some fun ;)

Violet didn’t realize her face had gone red, and she didn’t realize her eyes had welled slightly with tears as she read over the text messages and opened the pictures, only to see Beth in sexy poses with her cleavage out.  In one of them she was even still in her uniform.  The last texts and photos were sent this afternoon, during the time Violet was in the office of the Dean of Students for her outburst in the library.  Beth had gone so far, and for what?  Just to get under Violet’s skin?  “Wow, she’s persistent,” she said sarcastically, her voice slightly shakier than she would have liked.

“I have to figure out how to block her number,” Austin quipped before he actually saw Violet’s face.  “Oh—Oh geeze, Vi—please don’t cry—”

“—You don’t get it,” she interrupted him, slamming his phone into his chest before taking off with an angry huff and the stomping of her Ugg boots, “she’s been awful for days.  I blew up at her today in the library and got in trouble and was sent to the Dean of Students—”

“—Trouble?  Violet, you what?—”

“—You should hear the horrible things she’s saying about you.  She was the one who said you get around a lot and that you keep condoms in your wallet for how often you do.  And it makes me so angry because she doesn’t know the real you.  All she sees is a cute guy with blue eyes and she gets it in her head to play these games—”

“—Vi, please—”

“—And for what?  Just so she can hook up with you?  She sends you pictures of her boobs one minute and then the next she’s calling you trashy—”

“Violet,” Austin said sternly, placing his hands on her shoulders.  It was only then that they realized they were in front of her house anyway.  “Violet, calm down.  It’s nothing.  It’s just mind games.  It’s not like I’m gonna hook up with her.”

“I know that,” she huffed.  She took a moment to recapture her breath, to calm herself and her get her tears and emotions in order.  “I never thought you actually would.  I just get mad when I get used as like, I don’t know, a pawn.  Why does she want to hurt me?”

“That’s something you have to ask her.  But nothing’s gonna happen, alright?  I would never do something like that, especially after how she spoke to me at that party.  But more importantly, I would never do something like that to you.”

Violet took a deep breath in, nodding her head in understanding.  “I don’t like it when people talk bad about you.  Because I know you,” she told him, in a much quieter and calmer voice this time.  “And I know I’ve said it before, but—I trust you, Austin.”

Austin did the only thing he could think of doing, the only thing he could do in a moment like this, and that was to pull her in for a hug.  Despite their coats and layers of clothing, they could both feel the heat emanating off each other because of the moment.  Violet felt him squeeze her tightly.  Austin got a whiff of her hair as she squeezed him back.  “I know you do,” he whispered, their bodies still wrapped in each other’s.  “That’s why I’d never hurt you like that.  And I trust you too.”

Violet was silent as she pulled away.  To hear him say that he’d never hurt her, to hear him say that he trusted her too – nobody had ever said those words to her before.  Not even her stupid boyfriend from last year.  And Austin wasn’t even a boyfriend.  He was just her friend.

…Right?

She looked into his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes.  They were so unique.  On anybody else they’d be their best feature, but for Austin, it was probably near the bottom of the list, only because Violet could list so many better things or qualities about him.  But as she found herself staring into them, her mind and her body only wanted to do one thing.

So she did.

So he did.

In one swift movement, they leaned forward, closed their eyes, and kissed each other.

She felt him kissing her back.  He didn’t just stand there and take it.  He kissed her back.  Once she actually realized what was happening, she pulled away.  Austin was in just as much shock as she was at what they had just done.

She gulped.  “Have a great Christmas Break.”

She dashed up her driveway and into her house, not looking back.

[ego-meliorem-esse]

you spoke about Arthur's capability to love but what about Francis? Is his view of love jaded by the years? I think the one who still holds some sort of romantic streak is Alfred, who's obviously the type of guy to have huge hopes and dreams about love, mostly unrealistic and over the top only focusing on getting what he wants. Just wondering, I find your view interesting

OH boy! I mostly agree with youu!

François is someone whos been around for so long that any kind of expectation of 'true love' is thrown out the window, even burried in the depts of the Seine, erroded with the ages. Though, has always been self serving, naivity of youth still gave him hope and belief in love to a certain point. Now however, he is still romanticising the concept yet never practicing it himself. He can read love poems, watch sad french movies shot in black and white, yet he is a cynical man. It's the duality that makes this man so complex.

Speaking of complexities and duality: Alfred is a good example of someone who is both idealistic yet observant. In his heart, deep down there hides a spark of desire for that 'human love' he sees people experience. However, he is intelligent enought to know that will not happen. not only due to his nation-person nature, but becouse of who he is. Alfred is willing to sacrifice anything and everything to get his way. "If I can't play by my rules, I'm playing a different game" sorta thing. that usually doesn't work out well with love and such strong emotions. He isn't willing to negotiate, he isn't willing to settle and he isn't willing to let someone else 'win'. I wanted to use the word selfish so many times, but frankly I don't think it fits. He isn't selfish in the pure sense of the word. Whatever he does is guided by the belief that he is doing what is best and optimal. In a sense his 'selfishness' comes from having a hard time seeing other ways and perspectives on certain matters.

It's hard to keep Alfreds attention on anyone for an extended period of time and Alfred knows this. so in this example, his belief is that it's best to not engage in any long lasting romantic flings and not establish emotional connections. Better for the other person that is. In truth he is vey uncomfortable with exposing a non perfect and slightly unstable side of himself.

The Hollywood smile can hide all.

He's a start up who came onto the superpower playing field at a time when expectations and requirements were too high. A colonial bumpkin who has to prove himself everyday. Prove that he is up to the challange despite actually having the ability to raise hellfire. An echo of "He is too young", "He lacks experience" and "He isn't the sort" following him with every step. I wanna relate this to what you asked about his ability and want of true love: Alfred needs to suceed. He is in a corridor and the only thing he is looking at is the big door at the end. he doesn't have time, nor is he willing to take a break while running to that door. Alfred knows what he want and has to do, so love is a distraction he isnt willing or able to give to anyone for long enought to matter.

Absolutely wild and long rant. i'm sorry if its uncomprehensible or typo infested my autocorrect is not working waaaaaahhhhhh

[lucihens]

i know it's been weeks since the finale and this is likely redundant at this point but because i'm deranged about this show i pushed through the mental illness and finally finished my season 7 wishlist for my birthday. this was once over-detailed and the points were really just fanfic prompts, now the points are non-sensical and probably not even s7 specific. so in no particular order of timeline or importance, likely to never happen and straight from the audrey head canon universe: SEASON 7 WISHLIST.

[if you wish]

general (most could happen in any season and are potentially insane.):

- actual bailan conflict

- wopez baby girl unnamed forever, just for a giggle.

- nyla family maybe? she's an only child to me

- grey angst. like i wanna see him fight someone or something

- monica lasts less than 7A, but we see her a bit. unpopular opinion but she's fun. like that's one of my fav characters from jtv manifested once again on my favourite show.

- celina and lucy get a cat. they'd just vibe with it i know it. tim loathes the cat every time he comes around during their reconciliation era. but loves it.

- fire episode. not just a victim in a fire but like the station or one of the characters house on fire, like oo an arsonist terrorising the characters specifically. (maybe nolan like burn his crib down and cause him pain for once.)

- lucy parents. this is non negotiable. like maybe they're in trouble, being harassed/stalked/held hostage or whatever and she saves them, and they, at least, lighten up on the disappointment.

- lucy cousin [not s7 specific]. i know she has one. like a younger, annoying, freeloading male cousin. just give her some family please. and her nana.

- and an ex-girlfriend but that's free for any season. heir to sappho, lucy chen.

- lucy fighting like 50 guys all by herself and winning.

- lucy going undercover at least once and spanning multiple episodes.

- generally any and all lucy storylines that aren't centered at all around tim.

- maybe give her a female friend her age outside of the main characters. someone who helps her in her career and personally. someone on the same level. and give her wesley too.

- lucy critically hurt like worse than D.O.D

- can you tell i yearn for lucy storylines? like that's my main character!

- characters generally struggling with things outside of work and relationships. like illness/disability. (and not for bailey)

- speaking of struggling (!!!!!):: i really want to see one or all of the main characters struggling with their morality/sense of self as a police officer. like we all know the despicablity of cops irl. we know the rookie knows, see: s3. why can't this be a consistent thing? and not just nolan struggling to not come off as white saviour. like all the characters, both white and non white, experiencing personal turmoil about their position on world affairs and how that would (i hope) completely misalign with the mores of the average cop. especially given the state of the world right now, while uncomfortable, it would be somewhat realistic/relatable to our universe, and would be intriguing to watch (either that or i unfortunately learn that the political views of the rookie tyrants are.....).

- fully explored appearance of a k-9 unit.

- the rookie finally goes back to the multiple patrol calls an episode format and stops trying to be like chicago p.d.

- harper and lopez are given the decency to be treated as two separate careers instead of one forever unit. like i love that they're often together and they are partners in the same job but can we stop segregating the characters into unchanging groups? i know there are often exceptions but spice it up a bit please? mix patrol and detectives. but don't make patrol all about detectiving, and don't make harpez one job and the patrols always on the same case. give them calls away from each other. let them all do their jobs separately so you don't perpetuate the above point too much. (but still keep my family together obviously - it's all about balance.) is this point a jumbled mess? i think. look away.

- celina more interesting. please make her more than nolan's miserably failing boot.

- and give nolan consequences!!!!! let this man learn for once! we see he makes mistakes, but he's magically cool and respected again? make him a watchable character by going deeper than nice guy who wants to do good and well, fails yet is picked back up again by everyone else who loves and adores him so much like!!! where's the pain and conflict!

- nyla with a homeless teen or struggling adult who she helps i just thought of this. i know that woman has empathy that runs deep. nyla centric episodes especially talking about her cartel past!!! and with that more angela backstory like why do the women of the rookie have like 5 backstory points and i could write a whole novel about just one male character's.

- feed me the greatest lucy fits and bring back angela's curly hair i'm on my knees and i'm begging.

- more lgbt+ rep

- more disabled rep

- more class rep, especially in the characters themselves, i wanna see a cop struggling to get by money wise. actually that would never happen for a cop nevermind.

- speaking of poor i want nolan to lose everything.

- i'm not a sadist i swear.

- something for aaron that isn't based on 'i was falsely accused' and 'i almost died' like not saying it's boring but i don't want the writers to lack the creative ability to explore him even more. and celina too, give her something beyond her sisters death. these were great storylines but i don't want these characters to become tired and underused.

- the rookie starts rounding out long running and short running storylines for once. please stop making me say 'wait, that was it?'.

- dear whoever runs the rookie: please take yourself seriously again, i know you can do it baby.

- and stop reading fanfic

chenford specific quick fire:

- tim therapy

- lucy therapy

- lucy discovering herself way outside of tim

- tim brain transplant

- just kidding i love him

- tim more therapy

- tim mother

- tim groveling

- lucy deciding to live a little bit more outside of him until she's ready

- tim just chill i don't want more tim backstory i'm good

- lucy win at work

- tim grovel

- timlucy chill, are cool enough with each other

- friends

- reconcile

- take it slow

- tim grovel and therapy

- lucy undercover as part of finding herself

- friendly enough, tim has no influence in her career now like it or not

- lucy badly hurt, tim crazy

- besties while lucy recovers

- besties again, and actually on screen, like i wanna see all those besties moments that we were only told about before

- tim 'you are my entire world together or not' moment

- getting closer, getting heated, getting to actually talking

- maybe arguing

- like i want my years long head canon of them (tim) blurting i love you in an argument like

- i don't know how the rest goes

-

-

- they kiss the end

[ftmforestfae]

Intro and pinned post

Hii shape-shifting forest nymph here 😝

You can call me Ro or Fawn I'm 20 He/They. I'm Queer and Poly currently 1 partner love him so much 😍 partner applications are on pause. Post will be updated if they are reopened.

I love the forest, mountains, mythology, literature, most types of music, and copious different fandoms try something it's a hit or miss but I'll check it out if it sounds cool.

Asks are always open to nsfw notes and requests. Sfw convos always open please ask first in Dms for nsfw.

DNI: Minors, Pedophilia, Racism, Sexism, Transphobia/ Misgendering/ Detrans, Homophobia, Fatphobia, Cis Het Men. Thank you, do not come again.

This is my writing account only I also live on @plantdadftm but I have been hidden by the mist so Disclaimer: this is a writing account only. There will be no personal pictures of any kind.

/!\ This is mostly a ns/fw writing account. /!\

/!\ 18 plus only /!\

K!nk info below the line

Bottom leaning but no pref as Dom or Sub depends on person

Favorites

Orgasm control -Overstim / Denial

Praise and Degradation

Pet play

Intox

Hunter / Prey

Primal play

Group sex

Body Worship / Marking

Gentle dominantion

I enjoy a lot

Toys

Bondage

Voyeurism

Exploration

Light cnc / Somno

Monster fucking / Teratophilia

Negotiable as dom (trust based but enjoyed)

Breeding

Exhibition

Humiliation

Knife play

Feminization

Forcemasc / Androphilia

Hard domination

Negotiable as sub ( trust based but enjoy)

Breeding

Breath play

Sensory deprivation

Impact pain play

Force masc Androphilia / Autoandrophilia

Exhibition

Hard limit

Detrans

Fauxcest

Adlb/ddlg/ddlb/mdlg/mdlb / Age play

Piss/scat

Water sports

Gun play

Pregnancy kink

Necrophila

Beastality (pet play and actual animals are two different things guys leave those non-consenting creatures alone please)

Mummification

Genital clamping

Drugging (like the date r*pe kind)

Feederism

Exterme cnc

Electrocution