#a whole damn meal in two slices

[l0nelyish]

It‘s about that sandwich!

natasha romanoff x fem!reader

prompt: where you just can’t help but stun Natasha… and maybe get on her nerves? she doesn’t know which one it is.

nothin but pure fluff and nat being pouty af

lil bit of grumpy nat x sunshine reader if you squint.

3rd pov

„That‘s it.“, Wanda turned around, confused. Witnessing Natasha angry, sure thing. Witnessing her confused? never.

“What’s the matter with you, everything alright?”

Natasha huffed, pouting almost childlike. It’s so not like her to seem this openly frustrated, but she couldn’t care less. “Do I seem alright to you? No. This is the fifth time this month she’s been emptying one of the pbj ingredients before i could make one for myself.”, she dragged her eyes across the room, almost analyzing as in ‘hide and seek’. Where could you have been? And why do you have to steal ‘her’ ingredients? Natasha was bothered by you, yes. Extremely.

Wanda took another look at Natasha and chuckled: “Damn, does a peanut butter and jelly sandwich really have that much value to THE black widow? Oh my Lord.”

Natasha almost wanted to hit Wanda in the head with her slices of bread. It was really tempting, she had to admit. The witch shot her a knowing look, most likely hearing her thoughts. Again, the Russian woman huffed. Her temper was really not her strongest suit. Especially not after provoking it.

“It has a decent amount of value, thank you. What do you want me to say? ‘Oh my God! I can’t live without a pbj sandwich! Help me!’ ?”, Natasha shot her a glare, sarcasm being her best suited form of selfdefense. She truly is a witty woman.

On the other side of the kitchen aisle, Wanda tried her best not to fall into a laughing fit. Never has she ever seen Natasha this distressed, this fuzzy. And then, after really considering who they were discussing, she sent her friend a knowing smirk:

“Are you really this cranky about two bread slices or is it because of your ‘definitely not crush’ ?”

Natasha stared at her, eyes blown in shock: she got caught. Again. She usually wouldn’t let someone else read her this easily, but since this is you they’re talking about, and it’s Wanda she’s talking to, there really is no reason to facade it. Still, she tries to deny: “I told you a hundred times, I don’t like her! I can’t even stand her. I mean, she empties the food. What am I supposed to eat now?” So wrong. Even Natasha knows her whole act of trying to hate and blame you for everything is not working and it’s just her best shot at ignoring the rising feelings she’s got for you. But could anybody blame her, really? When you were this excited, extremely beautiful, empathetic and shiny human being?

You entered the kitchen, unaware of the ongoing dispute. Hot on your heels, you scanned the room and reacted to Natashas last sentence: “Did Steve forget the groceries? Are you hungry?”

And just like that, after merely 5 seconds, Natasha dreaded holding a grudge. Her whole demeanor snapped (no pun intended) and her eyes gazed almost neutrally into your warm gaze: “Someone emptied the whole peanut butter jar. And now I can’t make my dinner.”

Surprisingly, you sent her a goofy smile: “Oh! That must have been me, I’m extremely sorry, Tasha. I do have another half of my pbj sandwich left though, I was about to refrigerate it.”, you held up your plate. She gave it a look and panicked internally: were you really about to share your meal? As if gathering her freight, you again sent her a toothy smile and handed her the leftover half. “Enjoy!”, was all you stated, leaving both women standing around the kitchen isle. Plus the pbj sandwich, which Natasha stared at for longer than necessary. The corners of her mouth started to form a smile, which after some contemplation she insisted on not following through.

Wanda, who encountered the whole interaction, had a huge smirk on her face.

Natasha on the other hand, without having to look at her friends face, mentally face palmed herself for always getting so stuck up around you.

“Don’t.”

“I didn’t say anything… but enjoy your meal.”, with that, Wanda left a flushed Natasha stood in the compound’s kitchen.

The widow took another look at your, no her, plate. And after a year, she still can’t wrap her head around it:

What was she going to do about you?

[cinnbar-bun]

Would you be willing to write what kind of fan would ace, sabo, shanks, and law for the reader!! I loved your last one!!!

You got it dude! Sorry for taking so long.

Ace, Sabo, Law, and Shanks- Reversed AU HCs

AU: In which YOU are the character of a very famous franchise, and they are regular people who are fans of your series.

Note: GN!Reader, crack, very unserious, SFW

Part 1 with Straw Hats here!

Ace

Broke ass guy who can’t afford anything for you minus like, a bootleg or something small. Has buttons of you. 

Highkey think he would be a menace and just wear something so off with you on it (you are free to decide what that looks like). 

If people ask why he’s got you on his phone or like a keychain of you, he just beams and responds that you’re the love of his life and refuses to elaborate. 

Lies, he WILL be elaborating and making it everyone’s problem. 

Marco wants him to shut up about it. 

Thatch jokes around often and makes cakes of you for Ace on his birthday or something. Ace refuses to eat it for like two seconds before he’s quickly trying to fight off the others from taking a slice. 

Whitebeard has not realized you’re fictional and still asks about meeting you soon… he just wants to meet the one his son keeps raving about. 

Ace has to lie and it becomes a whole ‘my partner is in Canada, actually they can’t see you now.’ 

Whitebeard is so impressed with the fact you travel all over the world <3 wow, you must be so worldly! 

Sabo 

Rich boy who I don’t think would directly get merchandise of you, but he would totally buy things that have your signature color or remind him of you. Very subtle things. I could see him buying one expensive figure of you, but otherwise it’s just subtle things he will proudly wear in public. 

Doesn’t have much time for gaming, so I don’t think he would be playing the mobile gacha games but he will admire the artwork and units of you. 

This is actually a partial truth, he had them at one point but was sinking so much money into your units that Koala had to step in and get him to stop this addiction. 

He’s been doing his best okay… but your alt unit is so tempting he wants to GET IT HE NEEDS TO GET IT LET HIM ROLL ONE MORE ONE MORE ONE MORE- 

Sabo’s phone is now under parental controls and he needs Koala or Dragon’s permission to download or buy any in-app purchases. 

But he’s like, so normal about this, okay? He doesn’t have a problem.

Likes to eat your favorite snacks or food on your birthday as a sort of ‘celebration’ of you. Again, pretty subtle things like buying a dessert you like from that one bakery, or ordering a meal that you ate one time on the show. 

On second thought I could see him having special editions of the manga, but that remains in his office never to be borrowed by anyone. 

Law 

“Why the hell would I be into this?” 

Acts like he’s above watching cringe animes when he’s got better taste in his consumption of media like House MD or Scrubs or something. 

But you know, he’s always getting dragged into silly shit with his friends so everyone is forcing him to watch this popular anime with over 1000+ episodes. 

Law feels like performing surgery on himself with no anesthesia at the sheer number of episodes. 

It isn’t until like 400 episodes in when you’re introduced and everyone swears they can see the light in his eyes return and he’s entranced. 

Suddenly this is his favorite show, although he refuses to entertain that. 

He totally has a few figures of you, but when asked, he just yells that they’re Bepo’s and he’s keeping them safe. 

The others know he’s not going to buy merch so they just buy him silly trinkets of you and he tries to keep lowkey and hidden so no one knows about his love for you. 

He’s not the same man he was 400 episodes ago. He still can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad one. 

But you’ve invaded and latched yourself into his mind and damn it, he’ll keep you there. 

Shanks 

Cringe but free. 

Buggy got him into this show (Buggy made a slip up once and has tried to deny that he’s liked this series since) and Shanks casually watches a few episodes when he’s free. 

Has a couple of figures that a kid Uta always wants to play with (hell no, put that shit back!!!) 

Lies to Uta whenever she asks who this figure is of and he dramatically will hold the figure of you and tell her this is, in fact, who her other parent is. 

Great job, Shanks, you weirdo. Of course, Uta knows when she’s older that he’s lying out of his ass, but when she was younger she was deadset on meeting you. 

So Shanks was forced to include her in his watches so she can see her ‘other parent’. Shanks makes wild stories when Uta asks why you’re in the TV and says you’re so so cool they just had to make a tv show about you. 

He’s the kind of guy who forgets Uta is a kid and whenever something super violent or adult happens, he goes ‘oops’ after a few seconds and shoddily covers her eyes, to the point she can pretty much still see everything. 

So both of them kinda get in a feedback loop where when he gets something, she wants it, and when she wants to do something, he’ll do it when it comes to you. 

You are a staple in that household. Shanks isn’t the best at maintaining your figures but he does remember to dust you off once in a while (mostly after Uta screams at him to keep it in good condition). 

He’s tried to get into the card game (Uta insisted), but he finds the rules too hard and difficult, so him and Uta made an easier version (which he often lies about to be able to win). 

His luck is crappy too when it comes to the blind packs, so when Uta got the rare card of you he was practically gonna wrestle it out of her. 

He’s also weird and rich enough to get any crazy or out there merchandise of you if he felt like it.

[bug-bites]

LET THEM COOK!

tw: none! just pure fluff :]

pairings: task force 141 x gn!reader (can be either platonic or romantic)

summary: cooking with tf-141 heacanons :3

characters: simon "ghost" riley, john "soap" mactavish, john price, kyle "gaz" garrick, and gary "roach" sanderson

notes: first batch of headcanons yurrrr 🗣️‼️💯 (sorry if they're a bit ooc im abt to eep :P)

john price

he's a cook from the heart type of guy and it always turns out (surprisingly) really good

most of the recipes he has memorized are probably comfort meals or hangover cures

this man is so well meaning, standing behind you and helping you with every damn thing no matter how small the task. he does the thing where he holds your hand when you're chopping anything with a knife or stirring and guides you. it gets a bit overbearing but he's trying his to help

probably acts like you have never seen an oven/stovetop before and is constantly reminding you its hot as if thats not the whole point of it

he likes playing music while he cooks with you (most likely a shared playlist between the both of you) he likes humming along to it and he likes it even more when he can hear you hum along with him

the meal he defaults to making with you is probably chicken pot pie that tastes just like home

kyle "gaz" garrick

this man can BAKE. cake? muffins? cookies? he's got a recipe for it and you bet your ass its a damn good recipe.

he probably enjoys having the great british bake off in the background while he cooks

out of all the guys in TF-141, gaz is probably the one you should trust the most in there with you. when its the two of you in the kitchen not only do you get things done efficiently, it ends up being super fun with minimal chaos!

you definitely made each other those super cute lunchbox cakes for each other at one point

as much as he loves trying new recipes with you, making strawberry rhubarb pie from scratch with you is one he will always default to. he prefers his slice with a side of whipped cream <3

john "soap" mactavish

i dont think any of the guys are completely incompetent in the kitchen, when left alone in a kitchen soap could probably make a pretty good meal. emphasis on him alone in the kitchen

but when it is you two in the kitchen it will take a lot longer than expected or go to shit (but will still be edible!)

gets into flour fights with you even if the recipe doesn't call for any. he just grabs it out the pantry and WHAPOW it looks like the pillsbury dough boy just fucking exploded

he also keeps eating things he's not supposed to. raw cookie dough, batter, straight up flour, etc he probably took a bite or two for "taste testing purposes" of course. he's lucky he's got an iron stomach because if his immune system was even the tiniest bit weaker food poisoning would be beating his ass

one thing that you would enjoy making together would probably be crème brûlée. of course he get the honors of the little blowtorch part but you could get away with doing a few if you ask very nicely

gary "roach" sanderson

he takes the smaller tasks like chopping things up, washing fruits and veggies, or keeping the countertops organized and he does a really good job at whatever small task you give him

ask him to slice something up for you and trust they will be in the most perfect even slices you have ever seen in your life

if you're baking together he would love watching whatever delicious creation you made together rise in the oven. he likes just sitting criss cross applesauce on the floor, feeling the warmth radiating from the oven as he watches the baked goods cook. the first time he did this you didn't realize he was just sitting on the floor so you tripped over him

your go-to thing to make together is definitely chocolate chip cookies. roach likes putting small designs on top with chocolate chips like hearts, smiley faces, or just cuss words because he's silly like that

they come out really good but if you share with someone else make sure you don't hand them one that says "dick" in all capital letters

simon "ghost" riley

he has all the measurements with him and a scale to measure ingredients so you think he's precise and it will be all fine right? wrong. sure he measures his ingredients but if he goes over he probably doesn't try to fix it. ghost is the type of guy to shrug it off and adds it to the bowl anyways. to him measurements are suggestions

this bitch doesnt level his measuring cups

this usually goes well for cooking but for baking not so much

has forgotten to add in seasonings on a number of occasions so right before you put it in the oven you have to do a whole checklist to make sure that everything that should be in there is actually in there

favorite thing to make together is probably pesto pasta. most of it is measured by heart which he definitely appreciates and also less dishes to wash!

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Let's Talk Collard Greens.

I know it's more of a Southern thing, but Texans outdo the old south a lotta times, as far as cooking goes. That's one of the reasons it's so damned hard to find a really good Mexican restaurant out here. Now, when I'm feeling fairly good, and I'm just looking through the produce to see what they've got, I can get inspired by ingredients. I think that's the best way to put it. Sometimes something will grab my attention and I instantly grab IT and put it in the basket. Thus with these organic collard greens, which you must admit are absolutely gorgeous, even after two days in my crisper:

But first things first. I'll wash these and set them aside, then get busy with choppin' the onions and garlic. CAUTION: COLLARD GREEN PORN AHEAD:

Grab a big yellow onion (not "sweet"), and most of a pod of garlic. Let those sit for a second while I take three slices of that glorious bacon out of the package, all together, and use the kitchen shears and cut them into 1" slices, and put them in my daily driver cast iron. Let them get nice and browned on the edge, getting slightly sticky to the bottom, scrape and throw in the chopped onions. Mix around and let cook until they're about to be clear, then put the garlic in, and turn the heat down and turn your attention to those glorious greens:

I have a specific way I slice and chop them that is FAST, and EFFICIENT, and easy to do. First. lay a leaf flat, with the "front side" of the leaf face down, so that the spine is sticking up. Now make two cuts, one on each side, as shown, and yank the stem out. Then take the next leaf, stack it atop that one and do the same again. Repeat until the whole bunch of greens is de-veined, all the stems gone.

Now, take that stack and ROLL IT, like it's a big fat cigar. Roll the whole stack together. Like so.

Now slice that stack with a santoku or whatever yer knife of choice is. That's it!

Once that roll is sliced, throw 'em in with the onion garlic and bacon.

Get 'em coated, throw in about 2 cups water, deglaze the bacon goodie from the bottom, and throw in about 3 chicken boullion cubes, and a goodly amount of black pepper.

Now let that cook down. Another 20 minutes or so, yank the lid and check, and you should see this:

Since the aim is to make this a "One Bowl Meal", I am gonna add two items of convenience. First, the can of Fire Roasted Tomatoes and Green Chiles (99 cents at GroceOut), and the can of cooked white beans (been in the cabinet for months). Just do it.

Mix things up and put it on medium heat and let it simmer while your rice cooks. It should end up lookin' like this:

Once your buttered white rice is done, use a fork and flake out a nice bed of of it in a wide, shallow bowl. Ladle a couple ladlefulls of that bacony goodness.

Hopefully you will see the method in my madness of adding the canned goodies. Beans are perfect with greens, protein! and the RoTel always adds that Texas kick to whatever it is. Rice gives you your starch, and bingo. Perfect meal in a bowl.

Also, if you require more heat with this, I suggest splashing your bowl of goodness LIBERALLY (lol) with this:

You could also use HAM instead of bacon, but bacon never fails. Sometimes I use both, if I can.

Y'all enjoy! I'll get back to playin' 45s after I eat this bowl o'goodness.

[lokisis]

I have made soup (magic potion) to feel better myself, so now I pass the recipe unto thee:

Ingredients

6 cups vegetable stock (or chicken stock) (broth works just as well)

1 cup uncooked wild rice

8 ounces baby bella mushrooms, sliced

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 medium carrots, diced

2 ribs celery, diced

1 large (about 1 pound) sweet potato, peeled and diced

1 small white onion, peeled and diced

1 bay leaf

11/2 tablespoon old bay seasoning

1(14-ounce) can unsweetened coconut milk (or see cream sauce option below*)

2 large handfuls of kale, roughly chopped with thick stems removed

fine sea salt and freshly-cracked black pepper

Stovetop Method:

1: Heat (an extra) 1 tablespoon butter or olive oil in a large stockpot over medium-high heat. Add onion and sauté for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until soft and translucent. Stir in the garlic and cook for an additional 1-2 minutes, stirring occasionally, until fragrant.

2: Add in the vegetable stock, wild rice, mushrooms, carrots, celery, sweet potato, bay leaf (I personally use TWO leaf of bay) and Old Bay seasoning. Stir to combine.

3: Continue cooking until the soup reaches a simmer. Then reduce heat to medium-low, cover and simmer for 30 to 40 minutes until the rice is tender, stirring occasionally.

4: Add the coconut milk and kale to the soup, and stir gently until combined.

— Taste and season with salt and pepper (plus any extra Old Bay seasoning, if you would like) as needed. (Keep that mf Old Bay on standby you will need extra!!)

I add a whole hand shredded rotisserie chicken to the soup before I add in the coconut milk and kale

If you use olive oil, veggie stock and no chicken then its a vegan meal!

5: Serve warm and enjoy! Goes great with a warm baguette!

Get better soon, my liege

Damn. How can you afford this

Half joking. Thank you for the recipe. I'll see what I can do with our... limited supply lol

I feel so bad for constantly complaining.. it's what I do to soothe myself. But I appreciate everyone being so kind to me anyway. Imagine a blob fish out of water holding tissues and an ipad

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

It's Make a Terrible Comic Day! Because it's approximately Fuck degrees out with a heat index of Hell, I decided to share my favorite summer recipe. I credit this with saving my sanity when I lived in a South facing apartment without central air. Actual approximation of a recipe under the cut.

This is a very forgiving recipe that you can mess with a lot and it'll still come out great. Originally it was this recipe here, but it's very far removed.

What I used today:

About half a package of soba noodles, boiled until done and rinsed in cold water to stop the cooking

Two bell peppers, one red and one yellow, julienned

One cucumber, partially peeled and sliced pretty thin

One pound of carrots, cut into thin matchsticks by hand because the store didn't have any matchstick carrots and you couldn't find the grater

At least a cup if not 2 of frozen corn because damn you love corn

A package of green onions, sliced. I think there were 6 in there.

A big handful of cilantro

Firm tofu, squeezed of excess liquid and left to sit a bit in some soy sauce, lime juice, and rice vinegar. Crumble it up so it looks like feta.

You can go wild here. Radishes. Cabbage. Red onion. Crushed peanuts. Snow peas. I'm gonna try edamame next time. If you think it'll go well together you have my permission to go nuts.

Give that whole thing a mix in the biggest bowl you own and then in a littler bowl make a dressing. This has literally become vibes to me so I'm not even gonna guess at measurements.

A lot of lime juice

A little less rice vinegar than that

A good glug or two of honey

More ginger than that (I use the squeeze bottle stuff)

At least as much canola oil as lime juice

A good few shakes of toasted sesame oil

Salt and pepper

If you weren't a weenie like me you could add Sriracha or red pepper flakes here but I'm weak

DO NOT COMBINE THE SALAD WITH THE DRESSING UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE!!!

The salad and the dressing will keep in the fridge seperately for several days, but once you mix one into the other you're locked in to eating it or it'll become a soggy greasy mess.

I love prepping it for work, it's a lot of chopping but you can make a huge batch that's several meals (or enough for a pretty good group).

[ghoul-foolery]

Flufftober, Day 15

Impact Play / Cooking

Prompt List - Kink/Flufftober Master List

//

> Cooking > Nora >Tags: Fluff, Nora wants grilled cheese > Words: 600

//

It starts as a little, wayward inclination one morning that strikes her during a meager breakfast. They eat canned green beans, barely heated through, with a couple strips of dried meat. It makes her long for an omelet; fluffy egg, covered in sharp cheese, loaded with vegetables and doused in hot sauce. With toast, of course. A slice of perfect sourdough bread loaded with butter.

And that’s where Nora’s thoughts catch.

Bread. Sourdough bread.

Nora imagines tearing through a flaky crust as they walk. She imagines cutting thick slices to pair with breakfast, lunch, dinner. And then on a particularly strenuous day she can’t help but think of sinking her teeth into a perfect grilled cheese sandwich. Decadent melted cheese, and crispy bacon on toasted sourdough bread, dipped in silky tomato soup.

The trip to the Boston Public Library is a total waste of time. The place is a mess, and the books that had been left behind are barely legible. And the place is a death trap.

Outside of being pregnant, she doesn’t think she’s ever wanted to cry over something as frivolous as a food craving. When Hancock gifts her with a book filled to the brim with bread, and spread recipes she damn near does. By the end of the week she has sourdough starter tucked away in a corner of Hancock’s office. Whitechapel agrees to feed it when they are out.

It’s two failed starters and a whole month later when Nora finally gets the chance to bake some bread and by that point she’s become proficient in making her own butter, and cream cheese, and has a deal made with Daisy. If she keeps bringing in milk, then Nora will share everything she makes.

Cheese is a different beast entirely, and it only becomes achievable when Hancock brings her a gift in the form of an ancient, stained, recipe card. He passes it to her with a smile, knowing damn well that he might have made her whole year with a simple index card.

Nora knows she had an easy life pre-bombing, but the whole entire process of acquiring ingredients and learning how to make everything from scratch has really put everything into perspective. Cheese, bread, and butter were such simple things, cheap things that she could go buy on a whim — and now it takes scrounging, and time, and resources.

She actually does cry when she takes her first bite of cheese. It isn’t the sharp cheddar that she’s dreamt about, but it’s delicious. It’s a soft white mass that cuts and tears easily. It’s springy against her teeth and gently tangy on the tongue.

Cooking such a simple meal becomes a whole event. The bread is worked and baked fresh that morning, with cheese that had been made just the day before. The tato soup takes more time than average, sifting out seeds, pulverizing the produce, and straining out the chunks is a bit of an ordeal but it’s worth every single second.

Daisy takes a bite of her grilled sandwich, and delights in the way the melted cheese stretches and the bread crunches. All the time was worth it.

MacCready brings the steaming bowl to his lips and guzzles it down despite the searing heat. All the effort was worth it.

Fahrenheit comes back for seconds. All the failed attempts were worth it.

Hancock’s eyes light up when Nora brings him a portion to his office. He dips the corner into the soup, and his whole body sags as he takes a bite. Cooking for the people she loved was worth it.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my SIL leave my wedding?

I got married a few weeks ago to my husband, whom id been dating for nearly 8 and a half years beforehand.

I never got along with my fiance's sister, shes always been the spoiled brat type. Like, she gets away with literally everything and gets nearly everything handed down to her. It doesn't help we all went to school together and she was primarily one of my bullies, but her behavior up to now has lead all of this to happen, and on my wedding day no less. His sister is 32.

I'm gonna preface this by saying: Navy Blue was my gown color, the bridesmaids, what SIL was, were supposed to wear white. She had agreed to it as well. The other color was Gold; and the entire wedding was nautically themed. I also asked the bridesmaids, including SIL, to not wear anything extremely revealing (as SIL tends to wear very revealing clothes that literally sometimes have private areas of herself show out, she's not a curvy girl, so it's not the clothes hugging her too tightly, which even if that were the case that would somehow be infinitely better than her wearing what she does and the way she does currently).

The day before the wedding, SIL informs me that she bought a very pretty dress for the wedding. I tell her that that's great and if she wouldn't mind sending me a picture, which she does. The dress was white in the photos, and she was in the dressing room it appeared like when the photos were taken. I told her the dress looked beautiful, because I really did think it did look pretty, and she typed me a message about how excited she was for the wedding the next day.

The next day comes around and the wedding is about to get started. SIL was about an hour to 2 hours late on arrival, so we initially started the service without her. We waited as long as we could.

Around the time when the pastor asks "does anyone object the groom or bride" or whatever, she comes bursting in (oddly at the most convenient time) in a RED and BLACK dress, that literally hugged her so tight her boobs looked like they were gonna pop from her chest at any second. At any shift of the chest, a nip slip would have been certain. The whole damn service looks to see my SIL, standing in the damn door, crying about how 'we started without her' and how 'it took her forever to find the perfect dress.'

Regardless, we continue the wedding because I don't want my special day ruined, and I decided to put the fact she didn't even have the right color on and the fact she arrived nearly two hours late to the whole thing behind me.

That was until she touched my fucking cake.

We hadn't even done the cake cutting yet, and I see my SIL helping herself to TWO slices of the cake my husband and I have not been able to cut yet, as we were waiting to cut it later in the evening back at our hotel for our own private time to celebrate our marriage, but no. She was helping herself.

I decided to march up to her, I pulled my husband along the side with me as well. He was equally upset that she was eating the cake that was supposed to be for us; we had a timed eat event that was themed after the hobbit meals and dinner was the last meal. (None of the meals were so big and fattening that it would be unhealthy I promise lol). I look at her and ask her what shes doing, to which she just looks at me and says

"I didn't wanna wait anymore. I got bored."

At that point, I did pull her hair and push her around a bit before my husband's friend pulled me away and my husband ushered her out the door. My husband doesn't think AITA, but his family says I should have handled it differently even if she did several things she was told NOT to do, she did it anyway, and immediately attempted to shift it to being bored.

AITA here? Was I unjustifiably upset?

Note: Everything down to a T was mentioned and explained several times before the wedding. The colors, what would be happening with the meal after the service, what would be on the menu per say, and so much more. She literally and intentionally does this ALL the time, whether it's a formal or casual event.

What are these acronyms?

[mrhaitch]

HIHI Mr. Haitch! I’m sleepy so if this doesn’t make any sense I’m so sorry I had no proofreading brain cells today :). Anyways I hope the week is getting better for you and I wanted to say that baby Haitch IS SO DAMN FUCKING ADORABLE!!! I JUST WANNA BITE AND SQUISH THE HANDS!!! 😭🥺 anywhosies… have fun eating a bunch of cucumber :)

Rate your knife skills from 1 - 10. 1 is AHHH I LOOKED AT IT AND NOW IM BLEEDING?!? HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN? 10 is I looked at the *object you want to cut* and it cut itself perfectly.

What did you eat today? Did you enjoy your meals? Which component of each meal was your favourite?

How much money would it take for someone to pay you to crash your car?

FUN FACT: Agatha christie was a nurse (or smt like that) during WWI which helped her write her murder mysteries. To the point where all but one of her poisons used to kill people are real and described scarily accurate down to taste, smell and even symptoms. But this was to the point where it ended up saving a baby’s life since a nurse who read Christie’s books recognized a type of poison by the symptoms and they were able to diagnose and save the baby when they otherwise wouldn’t have guessed it.

I'll have to make a lot of sandwiches.

1) Probably a seven? I'm no slouch, but nowhere near that whole "slicing a carrot into a flower" level some people seem to be on.

2) Today I've had half a bagel, two protein shakes, a couple of biscoff biscuits, and two chocolate bars. Usually I tend to take a sandwich box with mixed nuts and fruit but I've since run out. I'll likely have a full meal when I get home, but I've gotten into the habit of eating very plainly for my first two meals during this bulking cycle (I was previously taking sandwiches as well as a shake for lunch at work but I was ballooning significantly). The food was okay, it did the job and I'm eating with intent at the moment. Favourite part were the biscoff biscuits.

3) Nope. Never. I'm not good with cars or being in cars anyway and deliberately crashing is nightmare fuel for me.

4) That's actually pretty amazing.

[blacksmokebarbarians]

How about Sammy getting all excited because you’re giving him a special gift you’ve been hiding from him? 🥰

yes. yes. YES. its his birthday, we've got to do this one.

Preparation had begun many weeks ago, when you first wrote out the plan for how you wanted Sammy's birthday night to go. Fairy lights, dinner on the porch, and of course, his birthday gift! The whole shebang. While you had begun becoming rather reserved and secretive as the days inched closer to his special day, Sam grew more and more anxious to know what was going on.

"Oh, come on, Doll, Can't you just tell me what's going on?" He begged, leaning against the kitchen counter as you made breakfast one day. It was the week before his birthday, and he had been growing rather anxious to know what you were up to.

"You can wait a week." You giggled, flipping the pancakes that sizzled on the skillet.

Well before his actual birthday, you treated him like a prince. In all honestly, you couldn't help yourself. He was always so sweet to you, it was in your natural nature to give him special treatment, even if it was a week before his big day. You made him breakfast, took him out on little day trips, and made sure to cuddle up close to him when the night came.

He groaned gently, his brows furrowed as he crossed his arms. "Could I at least get a piece of bacon for the troubles?"

You shook your head with a laugh, handing him one of the prepared slices that you had already finished cooking. Ever since you had pledge to go vegan with Sam, you had been practicing all of his favorite recipes. You found that cooking rice paper with certain seasonings and syrups grew to taste like your favorite piece of breakfast cuisine.

Once you finished up breakfast, the two of you sat and ate, listening to the record that ran in the next room over. "Is it.. a surprise party with the boys?"

"Nope."

"A camping trip?"

"Nope"

"Is it a--"

"Samuel. Hush."

"Finee." He grumbled, finishing off his orange juice. You admired him as the sun from the window shined down on his tanned skin. How did you get so damn lucky? He was like a dream come true, and you had the pleasure of spoiling him when they time finally came.

April 3rd.

It was finally time. The day started off just as any other day had-- the two of you tangled in each other's arms, a nice warm breakfast, cuddling on the couch. When the afternoon finally neared, you sent Sam out to get some wine of his choice from the store to get a chance to set up. The second he had left the house, you were stringing up the fairy lights, finishing off dinner, and setting up a nice candlelit table for the two of you. You had slipped on your dress just before he had arrived. As you heard the jingling of his keys just outside the door, you stood, readily awaiting his entrance.

As the door finally creaked open, he stopped, looking around in awe. You could hardly tell if the look on his face was confusion or absolute shock. "Happy Birthday, Darling.."

Sammy shut the door behind him, his lips curving into a gentle smile. He could hardly get a word out as he looked around, holding the bottle of wine to his chest, "Baby.." He finally got out. His eyes finally met with yours as he stepped forward. "This is beautiful.. Thank you.." He said gently, his open hand wrapping around your waist, leaning down to kiss you gently.

As you slowly pulled away, you took his hand in yours, guiding him to the dining table which was elegantly set. "Anything for the birthday boy!" You grinned, sitting down opposite of him.

"Seriously, honey, thank you." He smiled, admiring you as you began to pour each of you a glass of wine.

The two of you began to dig in to dinner-- Sam leaning back in his chair out of pure delight. "This is wonderful.." He hummed gently, savoring each bite of his meal. "I'm glad that you like it. I've had this all planned out for nearly a month now.." You explained, taking a sip from your glass.

Finally, as the two of you finished off your supper, you stood, Sam's eyes following you intently. You went to the nearby shelf that held all of his favorite records, pulling one down before setting it on the turn-table. "Music and dinner?" He asked curiously, perking up as he watched you place the needle. "You bet." You hummed, walking over to the table, holding a hand out to him. "Come on, Birthday Boy.." He looked up to you for a moment before taking your hand, following as you led him to the livingroom. You began to sway with him gently to the beat of the music.

"This is nice.." He whirred, placing his hands on your hips gently, following your lead. As the two of you swayed together, you rested your head against his shoulder, smiling wide. He left a gentle kiss against the top of your head, humming along to the tune.

"I love you, Sammy.."

"I love you, darling." He murmured, holding you close. You listened as he began to softly sing along to the lyrics of the James Taylor album. His soft voice vibrated against you as he rested his cheek against the top of your head. As the song slowly came to an end, you looked up to him. "This isn't the last of your celebration." You teased gently. His eyes widened as he whined, "I knew this wasn't it! You've been too sneaky lately.."

You slowly shifted away, gesturing for him to sit on the couch. "What is it?" He asked curiously. You could tell that he was attempting to be contained, but his excitement was about to burst. "Oh, come on! Just tell me already!" He begged. You walked upstairs for a moment, leaving him drenched in suspense. Finally, you came back to the living room, carrying a large box with you. Setting the wrapped box down in front of him, he raised a brow. "You are so devious." He chuckled.

"Go ahead, darling. Open it."

Without any hesitation, Sam tore the wrapping paper from the rectangular box, throwing it off to the side. As he ripped back the paper, a large logo was revealed that read 'Fender'. His eyes lit up as he looked up to you. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Keep going!!" You encouraged, watching as he opened up the cardboard. Once the box was open, he took the foam exterior off, exposing the new tan jazz bass beneath. The gleam of excitement twinkled in his eyes as he picked it up, admiring the new instrument.

"Baby, this is amazing! I've been looking at this one for months now!" He practically squealed, looking over to you. "Thank you so much.. For all of this, Really. I couldn't ask for a better birthday." He assured.

You leaned over, pulling him into a gentle kiss before he escaped away to test out his new bass.

[catchyhuh]

breakfast facts

WARNING!!!! DO NOT EMULATE THE MADE UP EATING PATTERNS I JUST MADE UP FOR THESE MADE UP PEOPLE IT WOULD PROBABLY BE BAD FOR YOU. ESPECIALLY ZENIGATA REALLY REALLY DO NOT EMULATE ANY OF TH

lupin:

must eat as soon as he wakes up or he’s fucked. not even like fully a physical stomach thing its just mentally he Must start his day with food

kellogs commercial table. the cereal, two slices of toast, one butter, one jam, apple, like bacon and eggs n shit

scarfs it down in two seconds. as a result no one else will make his breakfast for him becuase its kind of annoying spending 2 hours cooking at 7am so the princess can inhale his perfectly crisp bacon like the poltergust 3000 

yes he complains when he has to do it himself. so every day yes. it just wasn't practical to do the whole shebang every day so he whittled it down to his toast and eggs. but you know if he could,

the king must feast. he gives himself a stomach ache damn near every day he gets his food the way he actually wants it

jigen:

eats what’s provided honestly. you could say that about every meal but he just doesn’t care too much esp with his breakfast

he’ll complain (he’s particular about waffles and pancakes needing to be a certain amount of savory to justify them existing in a MEAL meal and not just as a dessert) but not too a huge extent. honestly he’ll eat whatever

doesn't have a huge appetite early in the morning, usually balances it out with a big lunch and even BIGGER dinner. he's gotta ease into those heavy hitters man he's delicate bro

cawfee. cuppa joe. He hates it. jigen doesn’t like it despite dressing like a keurig machine gijinka and having the symphonic cadence of a coffee grinder. it just doesn’t taste good to him (it's that deceptive scent dude) that said {sleep hcs incoming soon} sometimes he needs some to jumpstart him like an old car. again, complains, but goes through with it

fujiko:

special k commercial table. the cereal. the side bowl with random dollops of peanut butter and mixed other nuts and oats (?) i guess it’s oats, the GRAPEFRUIT oh i know she’s a grapefruit bitch!! pb honey spread on an English Muffin too. like some. idk there’s a cinnamon stick involved YOU GET THE VISUAL

funny thing is she doesn’t even eat half of it. she just goes with the muffin, bowl of mini wheats, maybe two pieces of grapefruit ingested as she leaves the table. whoever passes the table next is expected to handle leftovers. breakfast leftovers. that's an insane concept now that i type it out

cawfee. she either drinks it with a thousand disgusting artificially flavored creams or she chews the beans raw. presentation vs functionality is a key aspect of ms mine's internal struggle

complex relationship with fast food coffee shop chains as a result

goemon:

another guy who loves the Big Breakfast by tom cardy but unlike lupin (who loves his beauty sleep too much to wake up early) and fujiko (who usually gets her non-lupin boytoy of the month to make it for her) goemon actually gets up asscrack of dawn early to prepare a meal fit for a king

perfectly fluffy rice. hand squeezed juice. absolutely decadent vegetables. impossibly picturesque omelette. but just normal ass sara lee bread though he doesn’t have THAT much time on his hands

funny thing is he's definitely the most normal about it. goemon just. eats his breakfast. he might raise his eyebrows in slight surprise at how good the eggs taste today or something but really its just. food. all these other weirdos either take 10 years to eat a piece of toast or just inhale their food but the guy who dresses and talks like its the 18th century wins the normal award here

has emphasized the importance of eating breakfast to others before despite easily functioning without it. wake him up at 4 say “no time for brekkie dude we gotta go steal the fire hydrant of the louvre” and he’ll be like Done no problems

zenigata: i know i mentioned it before but NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR DO NOT FUCKING EMULATE

haha.

he’s very bad about it VERY bad about it always getting yelled at by third parties. they go “what’d you have for breakfast” and he shrugs and they go "oh god did you even eat" "ONE BOILED EGG HAS PROTEIN IN IT!!"

its amazing the stature you can get while still being the guy who eats half a protein bar for breakfast and doesn’t actually sit down for a meal again until like 1 am. really i cannot emphasize enough don’t try this at home

HES JUST SO DAMN BUSY! but if he could he’d take anything. unlike jigen, who just doesn't wanna start a fight THAT early in the morning, zeni just loves every breakfast food! muffins eggs potatoes pancakes cereal the random ass fruit he LOVES it 

god help the hotel with a free breakfast when this guy comes in. or that is, if he didn’t sleep until 11 AM because he was up lupin-ing all night.

in conclusion: they would all love a trip to the mcdonalds breakfast menu drivethru. they all get a hashbrown. would you believe me if i said i only remembered the mcdonald’s commercials after typing that

[siberat]

Prompt idea: Belly motorboating/kissing. Bonus if that belly is painfully full after being stuffed to the gills lol

It felt like an enormous bowling ball was resting on his midsection, pressing down on his frame as he lay on the berth. His frame felt so heavy. Every move felt damn near impossible! It was as if he was trapped in the stickiest glue that refused to give up its hold. Thankfully, the berth was soft and cozy. Silk sheets definitely added luxurious comfort.

Just how did he end up in this predicament?

Swer/ve groaned. He knew the answer: his big mouth. This time, he didn’t talk himself into trouble but ate himself into trouble. All because of some stupid bet. And his pride. The bet: a bunch of ‘B/ots at the bar claimed that one of his advertised dishes was a scam. You know, if you can eat this whole meal, it’s on the house! Now, why would the minicon offer something he didn’t stand behind?

The meal can be consumed in one sitting.

And the bets were made. Credits slammed on the table, and mechs jeeringly told the barkeep to put his mouth to good use then and prove it.

Usually, he’d talk his way out of it, but upon seeing Blu/rr place his bet, the red and white bot changed his mind.

Blu/rr was betting in his favor, claiming he could devour this whole meal in one sitting.

How could he back out now that his crush was cheering him on?

So, Swer/ve gobbled up the large turkey feast, which consisted of an extra-large portion of cyber turkey, twice-baked lithium potatoes, creamy mac and cheese with little slivers of bacon sprinkled on top, stuffing, and, of course, two generously sized dinner rolls.

It was a struggle to get that smorgasbord of a meal down his throat, and he had the food sweats to prove it as he set the silverware down on the empty plate. He was about to gloat when a large slice of cherry pie sat before him. Suddenly, he remembered this menu item included dessert.

No one knew who groaned louder: Swer/ve of his belly.

But now he lay, painfully stuffed belly up on a silky-smooth berth. He was a richer mech tonight! But that’s not what revved his engines the most. The fact that he laid in Blu/rr’s berth was the best reward possible.

All throughout the feast, his idol was the only mech rooting for him, giving him encouraging words and adoring smiles as his optics raked up and down his rounding frame. Pri/mus, it looked like Blu/rr would rather use his servos to touch and fondle his flab!

Swer/ve wouldn’t have objected, but he did have a bet to win.

He felt the berth shift around him. Peeking up, he received a wondrous sight! Blu/rr was crawling over him like a cybercat, engines purring as a trail of kisses traveled down his chest and onto the belly’s crest.

Swer/ve couldn’t stop staring. Seeing those lips pursed as they kissed at the taunt paunch was ever so alluring! Seeing those doe-like optics stare up at him just ground his gears! Feeling that tongue dart out to have a taste of that bloated belly nearly fried his circuits. Soon that mouth sucked gently at protoform- licking where it was taunt and sucking where adipose accumulated.

And for good measure, a few bites were added in.

And those servos? They kneaded at the soft, dough-like flab along his sides. Fingers dug in and gently pinched, slapped, and groped at love handles as if they were stress-relief toys. Thick thighs were tickled and traced. Swer/ve’s cooling fans whirled to life. This touch sent electric-like pulses to surge throughout his scorching frame, causing him to wiggle and squirm. Suddenly, the minicon felt so alive… and on fire!

Pri/mus, when was the last time the barkeep felt so cherished? No one ever paid him any attention- aside from demanding another drink. Yet here he was, laying in his crush's berth, getting all the compliments his spark could desire. Hearing Blu/rr gently moan as his mouth worshiped the now grumbling beast while hands lavished was just too much! And seeing a sly smile appear on the racer’s face was too good.

However, that should have been a clue. The other’s helm dropped out of view as the servos smooshed the flabby underside of the tummy together. Swer/ve squealed in laughter (and a few burps) when that face shook within his tummy flab.

Pri/mus. He can now say he had his tummy motorboated

…….

sorry I didn’t get into more detail about the painful aspect. I’ll have to make sure I copy the prompt to my laptop when I write. Hope you like! I had to take this down a bit for tumblr. lol.

[oh-cawsh]

9 people to get to know better

thanks for tagging me @ghostradiodylan !!

1. Three ships: Rylan my beloved they do no wrong. theyre the epitome of awkward bashful and honest gay summer teen romance with the perfect contrasting note of horrific life threatening monsters which is unsurpassable genre peak. and yeah ngl its pretty rare that i get behind a ship but two others i can think of are amity/luz from the owl house (but mostly in season 1 because they do cute anxious crushing stuff and after that they just kind of turn into supportive gf A and supportive gf B), and legosi/louis from beastars because how do you just gloss over neurotic homophobe slut ptsd theatre twink x weird brooding puritan loser freudian pervert and the fact that it does WORK too like hello

2. First ever ship: i wanna say gregg and angus from night in the woods?? i remember i was in that weird sexual orientation puberty where you literally know you're gay but it's not like a consciously meaningful part of your identity so i remember seeing them and thinking wow that's cool that they're boyfriends i guess idk. also i'm inexorably drawn to their existence for some reason and my lockscreen is them cuddling with the lazy morning light peeking through the curtains

3. Last song: My Kink is Karma - Chappell Roan, im a sucker for moody electronic pop and that album DELIVERS

4. Last film: i watched the first three movies in a pirates of the caribbean marathon with some friends which ngl after the first one feels like trying to suck sugar water out of a sock 😶 the last film i personally chose to watch was the 1976 Carrie! it was nice being able to watch it and appreciate it as an adult with an education and not a teen recluse going "yeah carrie you show those villain highschoolers what's what"

5. Currently (re)reading: Shakespeare's Twelfth Night! i have my old copy from highschool open next to me and the 2012 shakespeare's globe production up and i just sit and sift between watching and reading and analysing it, just like when i first learned it in class. i'm not really sure why i wanted to reread it again in the first place, but i find it kind of soothing to read older texts where the language and culture's a little ways off from its modern successors. i find it calming to kind of pull those stories back in a way we can understand with its old contexts and writing, and see more and more of that timeless human experience shine through. sudoku for english nerds i guess LOL

6. Currently watching: my watcher's stamina has actually gotten so shit im ngl like i actually haven't watched a show in months 😭😭😭 the last show i watched was bluey (which was pretty good! (and pretty indicative of the kind of attention span ive got these days 😂👌))

7. Currently consuming: this horrible like nutraloaf nightmare bowl i made because my appetite was really poor today and at 5 pm or so i was like ugh well id better eat something quick and dense if im not gonna have a proper meal so i insulted God and put together reheated smashed potato (in the microwave so they lost all their crunch and flavour) + dried roasted edamame beans + peanut butter + regular butter + cheddar + yoghurt + whole salted almonds in a bowl and had a slice of walnut fig cake as a side. that thing needed a censor bar like i was in the trenches trying to get that down im ngl. eating that meal took more energy out of me than what it gave back like i knew i made something unholy and then immediately paid for it like it was so frankenstein and his monster right there on that kitchen counter

8. Currently craving: literally anything after that like god damn 😭😭😭😭😭 otherwise ive been hankering for a good chana masala and naan combo cus there's literally never a day where i'll turn south asian cuisine down like aw man i shouldve just gone out and got some of that to eat today ugh god damn it

also im ngl i don't really know who to tag cus i only started having a presence on tumblr like barely a month ago and ive only meaningfully interacted with like 3 people since then so um!! whoever's out there lurking around on my blog if ya wanna participate feel free! and either way, thanks for readin my ramblings regardless :)

[chanshoesunite]

24 Days of CHRISMAS: Day 10

Content info: slice of life, bang chan x fem!reader, neighbor!chan, neighbor!reader, borrowing some flour from the hotties next door, part 2 of mini series

Word count: 1269

Warnings: just dorks falling in crush

“Did you use up all the flour?” Hare yells from the pantry to where you’re sitting at the breakfast bar. You woke up way too early after staying up so late and, as soon as you found your best friend in the kitchen, expressed the wish for chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.

“Of course not,” you yell back. “What would I have used flour for?”

Your housemate comes back into the kitchen. “Well,” she sums up, “if you want pancakes, you better run over to the Millers and get us a cup of flour.”

You pause. You haven’t mentioned your discovery that the family next door seems to have moved out, let alone your late-night encounter with the new neighbour. Should you tell your friend? Your fear of humiliation and your desire for pancakes are fighting a war within you.

“Can’t you go?” you mutter.

Hare throws her hands up. “Listen here, Besty,” she says with an amount of energy that should be illegal at 8:30 a.m. “I am supportive of you having an exam, I’ll cook you breakfast, lunch and dinner AND do all the dishes. But that little walk over there won’t hurt you.” She cocks her head. “Or is this about something else?”

You quickly jump up. “No, it’s fine. You think they’ll be up yet?”

Hare frowns. “Dude, they have six children. How would they ever sleep in?”

You nod. No point in stalling, you have to do this. “I’ll be right back.”

You can feel Hare’s gaze on your back as you leave the kitchen. Pausing in front of the hall mirror, you assess your outfit. Your colourful jumpsuit is cute, and your hair is died in fresh pastels – you are a whole damn meal. Slipping into ballet flats, you skip out of the door, down the two steps, along the short garden path and into the street. You try not to overthink the absence of toys on your neighbour’s lawn as you approach the house. It takes you only a second to notice that the family’s name sign is gone, though. You gulp, but there’s no turning back now. And so, you ring the doorbell.

There seems to be some activity going on already, because faint music can be heard even through the closed door, and voices are mixing with the hiphop beats. You only wait for a few seconds before-

There he is.

And he is SHIRTLESS.

You stare at the undeniably gorgeous man – he is not much taller than you, but he has shoulders for days, veined arms to die for and an unruly mop of hair the colour of burned caramel that falls into his twinkling eyes. For a second, he seems confused, but then he smiles, and dimples adorn his face.

“Ah,” he pronounces. “Backstreet Girl.”

You blush. “Hi, Nick Carter,” you shoot back, and he laughs. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure if the Millers still lived here.”

He leans against the door frame, and he has no business looking this good doing it, especially not when wearing nothing but black gym shorts. “They moved out last week,” he explains, and you notice a pronounced Australian accent in his speech. Yum. “Did you need something from them?”

Another face pops up behind Backstreet Aussie, and the sweet round cheeks remind you of a hamster. “Oh, hi,” he greets you enthusiastically. “I’m Jisung. Are you our neighbour?”

You smile back – it’s good to have some distraction from all that naked skin on your duet partner. “Hi, yeah, I’m YN.”

“Hi, YN!” There’s another boy, beaming like an angel under his freckles. “I’m Felix. Do you want to come in?” Another Aussie. Jisung isn't, though - could he be British?

Backstreet Aussie gestures for them to turn it down a notch. “Calm down, boys. Don’t overwhelm her.” He turns back to you. “I’m Chan, by the way. To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?” His smile could cure cancer, you are absolutely sure of it. Damn, having a hot neighbour like that will lead to complications, you just know.

You look a bit embarrassed. “Well, if I’d known that we have new neighbours, I’d absolutely would have brought a cake to welcome you, but as it is, I thought the Millers still lived here, and I actually wanted to ask if I could borrow a cup of flour? My roommate wanted to make some pancakes.”

"People still do that? Borrow groceries?" Chan muses. "Cute."

You can feel the blush creeping into your cheeks. Oh, for fuck's sake!

“There is flour!” Felix enthuses, “I made brownies only last night! And don’t worry about welcoming us – we haven’t really shown our faces around here yet, so how could you have known!” He pulls Chan and Jisung aside. “Come in!”

You have been inside the house before, and it feels familiar, but now you first notice the sheer number of trainers in the hall before being led into the open kitchen area. It is still quite bare, but a huge table occupies most of the space, and five more young men are having breakfast there at the moment.

Chan is at your side in a second, and you try not to jump at the proximity. God, he’s cute. He gestures at the remaining housemates. “YN, meet the gang. This is Minho,“ - he points towards an ethereal but obviously grumpy creature who waves his hand dismissively, “Jeongin,” – a boyish looking young man beams at you with a gummy smile, “Seungmin,” – a little wave from the most serious face at the table, “Changbin” – “Hello” a seriously muscular guy says rather sweetly, “and Hyunjin” – the tallest of the group gives a wave as he dances around the table towards an empty seat, an Americano in his hand as he sings under his breath.

“Great to meet all of you,” you say rather shyly, but then the moment is over as Felix pulls you towards the pantry. “What kind of flour do you need?” he asks. “We have self-rising flour, cake flour, pastry flour, whole-wheat flour, coconut flour, corn flour, buckwheat flour, chickpea flour aaaand…” he peers into another bag, “All-purpose flour!”

You are momentarily stunned. “All-purpose, I think?” You glance at Chan in an apologetic matter. “I’m not actually the one doing the baking. That’s all my best friend.”

Chan shrugs. “Oh, yeah, no, I am not cooking for this lot, either, that’s Minho’s job.”

A shout comes from behind them: “AND NOBODY APPRECIATES ME FOR IT!”

While the boys are quick to confirm that of course they would all starve to death without Minho, Felix fills a cup of flour for you and hands it to you. “Can I help you with anything else?” he asks sweetly, beaming at you. God, he is precious. Serious little brother vibes there.

“No, thank you,” you say. “We’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Ah, no need,” Chan is quick to hijack the conversation. Are you imagining things or is he trying to hog you? You eye him.

“Don’t worry about Chan,” Changbin says as he walks past, putting his mug into the dishwasher. “He’s not a fuckboy, he’s just allergic to shirts. It’s an Aussie thing, apparently.”

Chan blushes fiercely and yells, “HEY,” as he chases a giggling Changbin out of the kitchen. Felix shakes his head. “It’s not, I can confirm that.” He looks up. “But hey, how about you come to our house-warming party on Saturday? Bring your roommate. It’ll be fun!”

You smile. “Thanks, we absolutely will!”

You say goodbye to all the boys except Changbin and Chan, who you can hear screeching upstairs, and make your way back home. Hare awaits you in the kitchen. “That took you some time,” she muses, examining you. “What’s new over there?”

You hand her the flour and fall onto a stool. “Oh dude. You won’t believe it.”

~Day 11~

[oculusxcaro]

Two truth and a lie: I've eaten heart before, I can do a handstand, my talons will bleed if they're clipped too short.

Send me two truths and a lie about your muse, and I’ll guess which is which!

The scent of sizzling meat is strong in the air as Khare sets down a plate of steak before Senja. The outside of it has an excellent sear, both sides whacked down on a hot grill for just a few moments before being flipped so that the inside remained tender and rare to the point that it's still legally blue. Sen deserve ten dozen steaks for all the help she'd given the waitress back before she'd even arrived in Gotham but making sure she got the most delicious steak on the house was a good start. "Two truths and one lie... okay, give me a moment to think." Khare hummed as she sat back to watch Sen dig into her meal. A rich and vibrant red was revealed as the harpy sliced into her meal, the meat so tender she barely had to try cutting it with her knife and fork. It smelt amazing, Khare's thoughts drifting back to campfires in autumn and of the meals they'd once shared way before either of them ever stepped into Gotham. She was pretty sure Sen had eaten heart, come to think of it... her memories of their time in the woods together had grown muddled by fear and time, but the rich, savoury scent of meat helped jog that memory some of the first time she'd tried Elk felled by Sen's talons. It had been delicious, better than anything she'd had before or since and she smiled at the thought, plus Sen seeming to enjoy her own meal. "I'm pretty sure you have eaten heart before. You're not one to waste what you catch and... I think I remember you trying not to freak me out about it." Khare chuckled lightly beneath her breath. When Sen had learned a bit of what happened, she'd brought back pieces of meat rather than a whole damn carcass, regular pieces of meat that looked like they came straight from the butchers instead of something that had been walking and breathing not half an hour before. Khare had appreciated Sen's sensitivity on the matter but any squeamishness soon disappated when it became apparent just how hungry the two of them were, from long hours of trekking across harsh terrain and keeping their distance from other, less friendly creatures in the vicinity. That left two other questions though, and Khare pondered as another mouthful disappeared. Her eyes dropped to the knife and fork in Sen's hands, wielded deftly as any regular patron to the diner. She had talons alright, powerful ones that could shred through larger animals but had she ever tried cutting her own claws before? Had somebody else tried? Sen had been a bit... quiet as to her past for completely understandable reasons; Khare had been similarly tight-lipped albeit for different reasons, but it was hard when you were different as not everybody was able to accept you the way you were. "I'm... going with that you can't do handstands. Because I've never actually seen you do one, you know? You might have the muscles but have you got the balance?" Khare said playfully as she leaned forwards. Sen's was looking a lot less full now with most of the steak having disappeared, a single piece left leaving only a bloody plate as to the meal that had once been there.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1174: Mansion Date Night~ (King of Fighters)

9:13 p.m. at Antonov'a Mansion's Dining Room..........

Krohnen is completely awesome struck at what is sitting right front of him right now: his bubbly, level-headed girlfriend, Angel, in a short, crimson red dress that almost matches the color of the lipstick she has on her shiny, luscious lips.

In fact, this might the very first time that he has ever seen her wear a dress, let alone in their date night tonight and yet....he couldn't help but to be mesmerized by her irresistible beauty. Not to say she isn't already beautiful in Krohnen's mind, but-

?????: Krohnenyyyy~

Krohnen: (Immediately Comes Back to Reality) Hm! Yeah? What?

Angel: You're looking a little out of it there, Cookie. You having a slight fever? (Forms a Seductive Smirk on her Face) Or are you just excited to see me this evening?~

Krohnen: ('Scoffs') Please. I feel as normal as I've ever been every time I see your face....But you uhh...(Starts Rubbing The Back of his Head Back and Forth) Do look pretty good tonight. (Starts Blushing) Great even......

Angel: (Giggles Softly at her Cute her Boyfriend is Acting) D'awwww~ Gracias, papi!~ (Crosses her Arms With a Proud Smile) It seems my romantic charms is still as strong as ever, don'tcha think?~

Krohnen: (Sighs While Rolling his Eyes) Yeah, and I somehow always fell for it every date night we've been on so far. (Takes a Sip ofhis Drink) Speaking of which, sorry this isn't the most ideal place for romantic evening. I tried getting us reservations from every fancy restaurants this town has to offer, but all of them are either already full or to expensive.

Angel: (Softly Fling her Hand Down) Oh, it's fine, cariño. I'm having a great enough time here already. And besides, you know I don't care all that much about fancy stuff in general.

Krohnen: Yeah, same here. (Shrugs) But I wanted to at least try and do something nice for you given it's Valentine's Day or whatever. (Takes a Bite of a Well Cooked Steak Antonov Made) Hm. Well, I'll be damned. (Takes Another Bite of his Steak) This might just be the best steak I've ever tasted.

Angel: I know, right? (Take a Bite of her Own Steak and Delightfully Enjoying it Shortly After) Mmm~ Soooooo Deliciosa!~ I can't even imagine how dessert would taste like~

Antonov: (Kicks the Door Open and Walks into the Dining Room Two Plates of Sliced Pieces of Cake in Both his Hands) Did somebody say dessert?~

Angel happily squeals and claps her hands as Antonov put her plate down in front of her. She uses her spoon to swap up one part of the cake and eats it and before anyone knows it, her delightfulnsss meteor skyrocketed from their.

Angel: (Gleefully Enjoying her Cake While Mumbling in Spanish)

Krohnen: (Turns to Antonov woth an Impressed Smirk on his Face) I gotta say, pops. Your meal and cake aren't half bad.

Angel: (Smiles Brightly at her Wrestling Boss) We didn't know you have a knack for cooking, Anty,, you're so talented!~

Antonov: (Starts Rubbing The Back of his Head Back and Forth While Chuckling and Smiling Bashfully) Aww~ Thanks for the feedback, you guys. To tell you the truth, I've been taking an interest in culinary arts for some time now. I even got the chance to work alongside the legendary chef, Gordon Ramsey, in the past.

Angel: (Places her Fonger on the Side of Her Chin in Curiosity) Culinary?

Krohnen: Pretty sure that's a fancy word for cooking and junk. (Turns Back to Antonov) You seriously survived a whole day in the kitchen with Gordon Ramesy if all people? That could've been fun.

Antonov: Make that a month and two actually. After the 14th KOF Tournament ended, I took it upon myself to harness my cooking skills under his wing. And yeah. It was a........challenge to say the least.

Flashback

Ramsey: (Angrily Yelling at Antonov Behind Him) Fucking hell Antonov!! Can't you go any faster steering the bloody mashed potatoes!?

Antonov: (Quickly Steering the Pit of Mashed Potatoes, Under Pressure) Yes, chef! I am going as fast as humanly possible, chef!

Ramsey: Don't even start with that "Humanly Possible" crap! I've seen a literal toddler steer pots more quicker and efficient than you could ever hope to achieve and the fact that you're still doing this five minutes after the order's wait time is already finished shows how pathetic you are- (Suddenly Hears the Sound of Sniff) What the bloody hel- Are you crying?

Antonov: (Already Has Twars Falling From his Eyes) ('Sniff') No sir!

Ramsey: You were named the "King of All Fighters" and have the audacity to shed your own tears inside MY kitchen!?

Antonov: ('Sniff') Chef! I get stressed easily when getting yelled at, chef!

Ramsey: Well, tough shit, winker. You could either pick up the pace, cut the bullshit, and finish cooking like you're supposed to or GET OUT!!

Bavk to the Present

Antonov: (Puts on a Dark, Yet Determined Look on his Face) That man gave me no room to make excuses. And I asked none. All I ever did was slaved over that shoving cooking for paying customers until the day I gave up my jacket and walked out of that kitchen, with my head held high. (Went Back to Smiling) I should definitely give him a call someday. (Walks Himself Back to the Kitchen) Hope he's not too busy these days.

Krohnen: I don't think I could ever see myself working under a hothead like that Ramsey guy anytime soon. (Turns Back to his Girlfriend) What about you, A-

Angel: (Continues Eating her Slice of Cake Until the Plate was Completely Clean Before Looking Back Up at Krohnen) Hm?

Krohnen: Nevermind.

Angel: (Points at Krohnen's Cake) Hey, are you gonna finish that cake of yours, Cookie?

Krohnen: (Raises an Eyebrow) Don't you think you have enough sweets for one night?

Angel: (Raises an Eyebrow Back) Do you know who you're talking to right now? I'm the Toughest Woman in all of Mexico- (Suddenly Let's Out a Small Burp Before Quickly Covering her Mouth) Perdóneme.

Krohnen: (Snickers a Bit) More like the Burpiest Woman in all Mexico if you ask me.

Angel: (Pouts at Krohnen) HUUUUSH! I'm not burpy or gross! Take it back!!

Krohnen: (Chuckles Lightly) Alright, alright, I kid! You're none of those things. You're strong and cute, fun, reliable to an extent and....just amazing all around entirely. (Starts Rubbing The Back of his Head Back and Forth While Blushing Again) I know I don't tell you this as much as I should, but....Deep down.....(Gives Angel his Sliced Cake With a Genuine Smile on his Face) I'm pretty damn lucky to fall for someone like you.

Angel: (Stares at the Cake For a Brief Second Before Looking Back at Krohnen) .......You know. (Put the Plate Down and Move Aside) I think I'll pass on the cake for now. I want something else in mind to snack on.

Krohnen: (Raises an Eyebrow in Confusion) Really? Like what exactly?

Angel: Well~ (Starts Twirling The Front of Her Hair Around) Let's just say there's this slightly tall size treat that's all grumpy and rude on the outside, but ooooh so sweet on the inside~

Krohnen: Sweet, huh?

Angel: (Forms a Seductive Smirk on her Face) Yep~ And he's very yummy too. (Gets Herself Up From her Seat and Slowly Walk her Way Towards Krohnen) Like, the yummiest, sweetest thing I ever have the pleasure of falling head over heels for. (Sits Down on Krohnen's Lap) And his name is the one and only....(Gently Places her Habds Onto Krohnen's Cheeks) Coo-Kie~

Krohnen: It's Krohnen genius.

Angel: (Rolls her Eyes) Krohnen, Cookie, doesn't matter! Momma Angel wants her Valentine kisses right now!~

Krohnen: ('Sigh') Fine. C'mere.

And with that, the rebellious couple skip the rest of their meals and begin to make out with one another. As every since goes by, the session itself has eventually gotten more passionate and sensual enough to the point of Angel unbuttoning the top of Krohnen's shirt collar and start kissing the side of his neck until he gently pulls her away.

Krohnen: Wait, hang on a second. This is a clean dining room. We can't dirty it up by doing it here.

Angel: Right. Right....(Smiles Brightly as Sge Jumps off of Krohnen's Lap) Let's go to Anty's room!~

Krohnen: (Stops Angel by Grabbing Hd of her Arm) Yeah, no. We're not gonna mess up your boss' room again after he went to all the trouble to put this date night together for us. Also, ixnay on the KID being here.

Krohnen walks Angel to the dining room's doorway and shows her Misha sitting next to Ramon and an already sleeping King of Dinosaurs in the living room watching Wrestling on TV.

Angel: ('Sigh') Así es. He's still as wide awake as a cute baby gecko. But what are we supposed to do then? The holiday's is far from over and i am still very much horny tonight!

Krohnen: Don't get your hair in a twist. I got an idea.

Meanwhile at the Living Room.......

Misha: So, you've managed to win a lot of trophies in your Wrestling days, Mr. Ramon?

Ramon: (Smiles Brightly) Eso's correcto, my tiny friend. Most were pretty tough bouts to venture through and endure, but my papa always told me the "the Road to Victory is never easy in the world of Lucha Libré". (Pulls Up his Eyepatch, Showing Off the Scar in his Eye) And I have this scar to represent this crucial lesson.

Misha: (Struck in Awe at What He's Looking At Right Now) Woooooah......

'Door Kicked Open'

Krohnen: (Walks into the Living Room While Carrying Angel in his Arms) Welp, The night's still young, so we're about to head out. Don't wait up-

Ramon: Now, hold your horse there, lovebirds. You can't without give us some details on your little date night of yours.

Misha: Yeah and where are you going in this time of hour?

Krohnen: Date was fun, the steak and cake were both pretty good, and we're heading out to .....do stuff. In private.

Angel: (Happily Waves Goodbye as Krohnen Carries her Outside) See you all in the late morninnnnnng!~

'Door Close'

Ramon: ('Sigh') Leave to Valentine's Day to get them in the mood again?

Misha: (Raises an Eyebrow in Confusion) Mood?

Ramon: It's a romantic type of thing. You'll understand when you get other.

'Door Open'

Antonov: (Walks into the Living Room Carrying Two More Plates of Slices of Cake) Whooooo wants seconds!?~ (Starts Looking Around the Room Before Asking.....) Where the lovebirds go?

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