#a wanderer's journal

[backroomsjournal]

Currently on: Level 974 “Kitty’s house”

Finally here. Originally, I’ve planned to visit as many level 37 sub-levels, but I’ve ended up here.

I can’t complain, especially if I’m sitting on pink bed, eating marshmellows and staring at this immense Hello Kitty toys collection.

The only thing I hate about this level is the owner of house themself. They’re harmless, but like one of the B.A.S. members said: “With backrooms entities, you never know”.

I’ve already been in few level 37 sub-levels - 37.1, 37.4, 37.7 - and I was really getting sick of everything being so much the same.

I get deja-vu while writing this.

I have to end for now. Kitty’s coming.

[triflingthing]

A journaling session followed by a little surprise from the angel beside us

[jacobhubertusart]

Saturday, 2023/02/25, by Jacob Hubertus.

[wanderersjournalpod]

Wanderer's Journal is casting for season 2!

We are more than halfway through the release of season 1, and season 2 plans are forming.

If you want to be a part of it, check out our casting call or share it with anyone else who may be interested.

We can't wait to hear from you!

@audioauditions

[wanderers-archive]

Hi, Raze! How are you? Are you doing well and taking care of yourself? 🥺

I have a request for you since I saw you had it open, but take your time with it, no need to rush 🫂

Can I get one 🍮 with some 💧 for Xiao and a reader who is just feeling insecure about themselves in general (it's one of those days)? You can choose the flavour for whatever is comfortable with you 🤗

Thank you, and just know that you're doing amazing and I'm proud of you for always doing your best <3

Mistakes

Genre: angst, comfort┆pairing: Xiao x reader┆warnings: reader degrading herself, readers mother keeps degrading reader towards everything they do. Crying (if there's more please let me know🙏💕)┆

notes: I had an idea for this a long time ago but I didn't know how to do it properly😭 so here I am, a few months late doing this😖😖. I got carried away and I didn't read your ask properly😭😭 it's supposed to be readers own thought not someone else making reader insecure, so sorry lost I got your request wrong, just ask me again if you want me to redo it, did the first part at like midnight and I was already halfway when I looked back on it 💔💔

Summary:being at one of your family gatherings alone was always sormthing you never looked forward to, even if you did miss your siblings, being the center of attention at the dinning table once all of your relatives took their seat, had tears in your eyes, always saying something about your body, how no man wanted you, how you would never satisfy your boyfriend with how ugly your body looked.

'You look horrendous in those types of clothes ___, did you really think your 'boyfriend' would feel satisfied by your body, I mean you can't even dress properly and act submissive now and you expect him to love you?'.

Those words said by your own mother ringing in your ears on your way home, had tears brimming in your eyes.

They had asked you if you had a boyfriend, you nodded slowly expecting them to berate you, surprisingly they had bakced off and wished you well with xiao. Sitting at the dinner table had more tension then ever before,

"well.. ____, since you have a boyfriend now, when will you introduce him to us" your grandmother started the conversation,

"um, well, maybe in the near future but not now, since hes very busy and his work is very demanding.. " you had kept your gaze on your plate before hearing a bang on the table and the food om your plate lightly lifting off the table

"____! Where are your manners?! Your grandmother is talking to you! Can't you look her in the eyes and show some respect! " your mother screamed at you as your other relatives just kept quiet or looked at you with concern since this was the first time they saw your mother act this way towards you.

Seing that you were visibly shaken, your grandmother interrupts your mother from speaking any further and put her hand over yours.

"____ dear, I think it's time for you to go home and rest, you look like you have been tired, if you want you can call your boyfriend and pick you up? " your grandmother had spoken to you with her gentle voice that comforted you everytime your mother had .

You nodded to your grandmother, before your mother had uttured out a single word, you grabbed your bag and walked out of the house.

Before you went out the door, you heard muffled shouts in the dinner room, you had made out what they were talking about.

"Why did you say that to your child!? Are you out of your mind!" That was the last thing you heard before you walked away from the house you called home.

.

.

Now you're back in your shared home, laying on your bed trying to hold back your tears. You spot your mirror in the corner of your room, walking towards the reflective surface with you in the middle of it. Lifting up your shirt, you look at your stomach, you hated the way it made you look bloated in tight shirts.

You stare at yourself with disgust and frustration, coming closer to the mirror, inspecting every inch of your face seeing the flaws your mother pointed out throughout your entire life.

Your vision becomes blurry from the tears pooling your eyes, wiping your tears away but they kept coming back. You lost your balance and fell down on the floor, sitting on the floor for a few minutes trying to calm your self down. You took deep breaths as you fiddled with your fingers, you looked around the room spotting the clock, the time almost midnight so you wiped your tears for the last time and stood up with shaky breathing and walked to your bedside table, picking up the glass of water and drinking it before you layed down ok your bed, covering your self with the blanket.

You closed your eyes trying to fall asleep yet failing, your mind wanders back to the reunion, thinking about what your mother said and how none of your other relatives defended you from her, only your grandmother had defended you from the person who swore to love you until the end of her life when she gave birth to you.

Hiccups and sobs could be heared throughout your shared bedroom as xiao opened your front door, he was expecting you to come up to him and greet him like always. Xiao walked further into the living to see if you had fallen asleep, seeing as you weren't in the living room, he walked towards your bedroom to hear mumbled sobs.

Xiao had gently opened the door to avoid waking you up if you had fallen asleep, instead he was greeted with the sight of you hugging a pillow while shaking, he had froze in front of the door, not knowing what to do, he walked towards you and sat down by the edge of the bed.

Feeling the bed sink by your feet, you looked towards the edge of the bed to see Xiao sitting down not facing you and looking at the floor.

"Oh.. Xiao your back, how are you? And why are you sitting at the edge of the bed?" You had reached out for him, grabbing his forearm and pulling it towards you softly, making Xiao lean towards you, flinching at his hand reaching to your face, specifically your eyes, had xiao becoming concerned, as they were surrounded by a red hue looking as if you had finished crying.

"____, did...Something happen at your family reunion? " Xiao held your hand, his gaze towards you had soften and trying to tone down his voice..

" no, nothing went –*hic* went wrong at the reunion" you towards your bedside table with a red and puffy eyes. '' you're lying because your eyes say a different story....if you don't mind, do you want to talk about it with me? I know I might not know what to do, but maybe...you'll feel better if you talk about it to me?" Xiao placed his hand on top of yours, trying to comfort you the best he can.

You didn't respond for a good few seconds, contemplating if you should or shouldn't say to him what your mother had said to you at the reunion,eventually, you agreed to talk to xiao about what happened at the reunion.

A few tears were shed by you as you recalled what had happened at the reunion, as much as xiao wasn't much on the comforting side, he was great at the listening side even if he couldn't comfort the best way, but his way of comforting was your best way of comforting and you wouldn't want to replace it with others.

Towards the end of your story, xiao looked a little angry or frustrated, maybe both. "What's wrong Xiao? " your voice was above a whisper, an eerie silence filled the room as Xiao still haven't replied to you, instead he held your hand and rubbed the back of your palm.

"... If you have anymore of those events you call 'family reunion', make sure to call me. I will accompany you so your mother won't be able to say such words to you. " Xiao raised your hand close to his lips, kissing the Beck of your palm, you just stared at him while your mind was formulating a response to his words he directed towards you.

Sobs left your lips as you hung your head low, your tears falling onto the blanket covering your lap. You didn't know what to say, so you nodded your head signaling that you agreed to let him come with you to any family related events.

After you calmed down, you though about what Xiao said earlier when you were crying, specifically the last part. 'I will accompany you so your mother won't be able to say such words to you' you know that Xiao dislikes crowds and events with lots of people he doesn't quite know. "... Are you sure you want to come to every family event? I know how much you hate crowds and such, I don't want you to come and feel uncomfortable" you close your eyes for a few seconds, feeling them become sore because of your tears.

"I do not mind being uncomfortable but I also don't want you to hear words that make you think thoughts that make you dislike parts of your body" Xiao placed his hand on your cheek—showing the side that only you can see once in a while—he gently caresses your eye, wiping the tears left over from you crying.

He gently pulls you closer, patting your hair as if he was lulling you to sleep and since you just finished crying and all the events that happened, you fell asleep almost immediately.

Once xiao felt that you were asleep, he layed you down on the bed and covered you with the blanket. Xiao just sat next to you, looking at you while you sleep, he abruptly stood up thinking that he was creepy for staring at you when you were sleeping, he walked inside the bathroom and washed up since his body was splattered with dry blood.

After he washed up, he sat on the opposite side of you on the bed. Xiao layed down next to you and admired you when you suddenly opened your eyes to look at Xiao in front of you. "I thought you had fallen asleep?" Xiao was taken aback and giggles left your lips when you saw xiao's reaction. "How should I fall asleep when someone so handsome keeps looking at me while I sleep? " you tease Xiao while you come closer, putting your hand on his red hued cheeks, meanwhile, xiao just closes his eyes tightly and grumbles that you should just fall asleep. "Alright, alright. I'll sleep now, just promise me, when I'll wake up you'll be next to me. " you take your hand away from his cheeks and lay on your back, facing that ceiling closing your eyes, trying to fall asleep. "I promise, even when you're awake, I'll be here next to you" xiao takes your hand in his and places a tender kiss.

Permanent taglist: @thelost-in-time

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[luzho]

okay. i’ve been dissatisfied with how with the last drawing i focused on the wrong thing and missed the whole fucking point (it is a cartoon); and felt like i sorta wasted the wonderful the bear au. so. here’s the sketch for the new one! i’ll attempt a more efficient rendering for…. two cartoon guys trying to run a teashop in ba sing se.

[chemicallywrit]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! What a week! Let’s talk about some shows!

🕷️ Ghosts in the Burbs continues to be the kind of quiet horror that creeps into your brain. This last multipart story has a twist that makes me genuinely worried about the fictionalized Liz Sauer of the podcast. She seems overcome by anxiety and a lack of trust, and I worry it will make her vulnerable to supernatural or mundane attack. And all that would do is reinforce her fears! Hang in there Liz.

📻 @breakerwhiskey HARRY DID WHAT? Suddenly this tenuous, teeth-gritting relationship makes sense. Of course our hero feels betrayed! Of course they never really reconciled! Note that it’s out in the open, I wonder if real reconciliation is on the table.

🌺 @wanderersjournalpod is so fascinating, not just because of the framing device, but also because Marigold tells on themself in this surface humorous story about accidentally poisoning themself. She is starving. Both Marigold and Pluto are in tricky situations and neither of them seems to be reaching out for help from anyone but each other. Is it by necessity, or are they just stubborn?

🦀 What can you say about @thesiltverses? These episodes, mostly monologue, set the scene for whatever the finale will bring, and I can feel the tension building. I have to pour out the accolades for the actors, whose work embodying these roles has been incredible, especially B. Narr.

🌳 My best friend @worldgonewrongpod is back this week and I love this small town drama over creepy trees. Being from small town Colorado myself (although not quite this small), it felt comfortingly familiar. I can’t help but see the parallels between the book banning campaigns in small towns all across the US, which work about as well as shooting trees. This show continues to, in a friendly gentle way, destroy me.

✊🏾1972 wrapped this week! I love a historical drama, and I cheered out loud when Angela Davis was declared not guilty, even though like. That’s a historical event. It wasn’t a surprise. At the same time I found Shirley Chisholm’s campaign so heartbreaking, even though she didn’t. I’d like to be as forgiving and smart as Chisholm, I think. Even though she lost, what she did mattered; even though Angela Davis was in jail for years for no reason, it mattered.

⚙️ In Inn Between news, GET READY FOR THE FINALE KIDS. The penultimate episode is out, and our early access folks will see this season wrap this week. Now I gotta like. Write season six. Pray for me, hopefully this one won’t take a tear and a half.

That’s it for this week! 😘

[moookar]

vaguely how i picture Pluto and Marigold from @wanderersjournalpod :) it’s good go listen

[skyfullofpods]

There's a non-zero amount of ✨denial✨in response to certain podcast-based events this week, as I bring you my thoughts about the fiction podcasts I've been listening to in this week's audio fiction Sunday blog post!

[jaradraws]

cover art + character icons created for @wanderersjournalpod

first episode is OUT wherever you get your podcasts 🏵️📔

[lemonswoop]

Guess what game I'm playing?

[backroomsjournal]

Currently on: level 54 “Stairwell of spirals”

Finally. I’m out from level... I don’t even know what level. I guess I just discovered a new level.

I’m tired. No, that’s wrong word: exhausted.

If you ever go to that “Shiny boutique” (I named it that, atleast for now), find an empty room with silver, glittery walls. 

Then, there should be also silver-glittery stairs. 

Go down the stairs. Soon, they’ll start looking normally. And then you know you’re at level 54.

I’ve been sitting on the stairs for a while now. I got used to the roted smell. 

I’m actually quite happy - I’ve discovered new level, survived and even got spare clothing.

Not that bad, right?

I guess that level wasn’t that bad. I found a way to escape.

But not fully by myself. One of the facelings gestured me like they’ve wanted me to go with them. So I did. I came to this silver room, and then they showed me the staircase. With their long nails, they scratched out on the wall a giant “ESCAPE”.

So I went down the stairs. And now I’m here.

[rexscanonwife]

Good morning. I fucking hate irresponsible dog owners, if you make your local BARISTA pick up your dog's SHIT then I hope you explode a million times

[jacobhubertusart]

Saturday, 2023/03/25, by Jacob Hubertus.

[wanderersjournalpod]

Wanderer's Journal Season 1 Q&A

Have a question for the cast and/or crew behind Wanderer's Journal following our season 1 finale? You can ask away in this form!

We are taking questions until September 20th!

[wanderers-archive]

hi^^

Strawberry pudding with water, please?

(w Kazuha and reverse comfort because reverse comfort is my everything)

Thank you!

┆Genre: angst with comfort┆pairing: kazuha x reader ┆warning(s): the Shogun is mentioned, death, mentions of blood(many times)

ིྀ•˚I'll always be here waiting for you˙•ིྀ

As Blood dripped on the cemented floor, vibrant scarlet eyes were wide eye as he watched his own s/o get impaled in frint of his own eyes.

He ran towards you as lighting had striked constantly, one after the other.

Before the Raiden had the chance to touch you with her spear, kazuha and picked you and left the scene as blood had dripped down his arm.

After running for minutes, maybe even hours, he had looked around to see if people were here, confirming no one was around you two, he had put you down under a small tent to catch shade from the rain, as the lighting hadn't hit near the area,

"[Name]! Goodness, it's going to be okay!" Kazuha had pulled out a bandage from his pocket and was about to touch your wound on your chest, but he quickly retreaded his hand as electricity came in contact with his hand.

"Oh dear, kazuha did you get hurt?" You opened your eyes to see kazuha clutching his hand close to his chest as you hear him hiss loudly.

Kazuha looked at you through with his dripping hair from the rain with an expression you could deciper as lighting had struck far behind him, making shadows on his face.

You took his hand from his chest and pulled it closer to your face to see if there was anything injuries, as lighting struck again, you hear hiccups and soft sobs from kazuha.

" 'hic' w-why are you s-so concerned about m-me, my love you were just i-impaled and your worrying about me?!. Why do you k-keep worrying about other people before yourself. " you stared at kazuha through his dripping wet hair from the rain as tears left his eyes and dropped down, dripping to this thighs before hitting the ground.

You shifted in your seat against the pole you leaned on to get closer to kazuha. "____!? W-what are you doing! Stop moving your wound is g-going to keep ble-bleeding! " kazuha had managed to stop you from getting closer to him as blood kept gushing out of your abdomen, his quick hands acting quickly, he wrapped the bandage he was holding around your wound. You embraced kazuha gently as the rain kept soaking the both of you, especially the bandage.

You let go of kazuha and held his hand as blood kept dripping on the wet grass " *hic* _____, you're going to be okay, you won't leave me ... Right? " his voice trailling off, as he gripped your hand tighter, "....im feeling tired kazu, I just want to lay down and sleep" your voice barely heard if you weren't so close to kazuha. Your breathing becoming more shallow as time passes, kazuha pulling you closer to him as you closed your eyes as your body runs cold.

Kazuha held your limp body leaning on his body, his cries getting louder as the rain drowns out his cries for you.

.

.

.

.

"...wake up! "

"Zuha wake up!"

"Kazuha, dear wake up!" [Name] raised her voice to wake kazuha up, as they were getting quite worried as they see kazuha slightly trembling in his sleep, he sat up quickly and looked towards you, pushing himself to hug you "uh.... What's wrong kazu, you aren't normally like this " you expressed "...i..had a nightmare" kazuha whispered "would you like to take a walk to get your mind off? " you suggested "that would be nice" kazuha replied.

┆ritou┆

"If you don't mind, would you like to say what the nightmare was about I may be able to help" [name] insisted, as you said kazuha started to explain his nightmare and how you were attacked by the shogun, how she had killed you almost the same way just like his friend, except you both had fled away from her and how you had died in his arms, as he explained, he started to cry, you reassured him, the raiden shogun had no more intentions of killing more vision holder, especially since the traveller had convinced the Shogun to not kildd anymore people.

"the traveller changed the shoguns mind about us vision holder right? there's no need to worry about that honey, let's enjoy your stay here before going back to liyue, alright honey?" You had intertwined both of your hands on his, grabbing his hands and bringing it to your lips as the cold air travels through the both of you.

Kazuha'ss gaze never left your eyes even when you had closed them to kiss the back of his hand, taking small steps to come closer to you, wrapping his free hand on your waist and bring in you closer to him. Dropping his hand slowly, you had wrapped you arms around his back, lightly tracing random shapes or anything on his back. The cold wind bringing kazuha back from his own mind, going closer towards your ear.

"sweetheart, let's go back?" You had whispered in his ear while caressing his hair gently, almost as if you were coaxing him to sleep.

Kazuha had pulled away from the Hug and nodded his head, seeing as his eyes were slightly hooded from sleepyness you let out a giggle, kazuha had looked at you and tilted his head, like he was asking why you were giggling.

"It's nothing dear, you look adorable when your sleepy, let's hurry back so we can get some shut eye" you had intertwined your hand with his and guided him back to you cabin.

As the cold nights wind softly hitted your cabins window, knowing kazuha wouldn't fall asleep quickly if you weren't next to him, cuddling him to sleep as the remnants of the nightmare in his mind disappeared, he had his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him as if you both weren't close enough, feeling his breathing became even, you relax knowing that kazuha had now fallen asleep more quick then you had anticipated, knowing your presence made him more comfortable, you closed your eyes feeling a sense of excitement of what the day will be like with kazuha once you wake up.

Heart divider by @/enchanthings on tumblr

Notes: I'm not that satisfied with the ending but I had to rush this since this was request so long ago💔

Permanent Taglist: @thelost-in-time

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