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wanderers-archive · 4 months ago

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Hi, Raze! How are you? Are you doing well and taking care of yourself? 🥺

I have a request for you since I saw you had it open, but take your time with it, no need to rush 🫂

Can I get one 🍮 with some 💧 for Xiao and a reader who is just feeling insecure about themselves in general (it's one of those days)? You can choose the flavour for whatever is comfortable with you 🤗

Thank you, and just know that you're doing amazing and I'm proud of you for always doing your best <3

Mistakes

Genre: angst, comfort┆pairing: Xiao x reader┆warnings: reader degrading herself, readers mother keeps degrading reader towards everything they do. Crying (if there's more please let me know🙏💕)┆

notes: I had an idea for this a long time ago but I didn't know how to do it properly😭 so here I am, a few months late doing this😖😖. I got carried away and I didn't read your ask properly😭😭 it's supposed to be readers own thought not someone else making reader insecure, so sorry lost I got your request wrong, just ask me again if you want me to redo it, did the first part at like midnight and I was already halfway when I looked back on it 💔💔

Summary:being at one of your family gatherings alone was always sormthing you never looked forward to, even if you did miss your siblings, being the center of attention at the dinning table once all of your relatives took their seat, had tears in your eyes, always saying something about your body, how no man wanted you, how you would never satisfy your boyfriend with how ugly your body looked.

'You look horrendous in those types of clothes ___, did you really think your 'boyfriend' would feel satisfied by your body, I mean you can't even dress properly and act submissive now and you expect him to love you?'.

Those words said by your own mother ringing in your ears on your way home, had tears brimming in your eyes.

They had asked you if you had a boyfriend, you nodded slowly expecting them to berate you, surprisingly they had bakced off and wished you well with xiao. Sitting at the dinner table had more tension then ever before,

"well.. ____, since you have a boyfriend now, when will you introduce him to us" your grandmother started the conversation,

"um, well, maybe in the near future but not now, since hes very busy and his work is very demanding.. " you had kept your gaze on your plate before hearing a bang on the table and the food om your plate lightly lifting off the table

"____! Where are your manners?! Your grandmother is talking to you! Can't you look her in the eyes and show some respect! " your mother screamed at you as your other relatives just kept quiet or looked at you with concern since this was the first time they saw your mother act this way towards you.

Seing that you were visibly shaken, your grandmother interrupts your mother from speaking any further and put her hand over yours.

"____ dear, I think it's time for you to go home and rest, you look like you have been tired, if you want you can call your boyfriend and pick you up? " your grandmother had spoken to you with her gentle voice that comforted you everytime your mother had .

You nodded to your grandmother, before your mother had uttured out a single word, you grabbed your bag and walked out of the house.

Before you went out the door, you heard muffled shouts in the dinner room, you had made out what they were talking about.

"Why did you say that to your child!? Are you out of your mind!" That was the last thing you heard before you walked away from the house you called home.

Now you're back in your shared home, laying on your bed trying to hold back your tears. You spot your mirror in the corner of your room, walking towards the reflective surface with you in the middle of it. Lifting up your shirt, you look at your stomach, you hated the way it made you look bloated in tight shirts.

You stare at yourself with disgust and frustration, coming closer to the mirror, inspecting every inch of your face seeing the flaws your mother pointed out throughout your entire life.

Your vision becomes blurry from the tears pooling your eyes, wiping your tears away but they kept coming back. You lost your balance and fell down on the floor, sitting on the floor for a few minutes trying to calm your self down. You took deep breaths as you fiddled with your fingers, you looked around the room spotting the clock, the time almost midnight so you wiped your tears for the last time and stood up with shaky breathing and walked to your bedside table, picking up the glass of water and drinking it before you layed down ok your bed, covering your self with the blanket.

You closed your eyes trying to fall asleep yet failing, your mind wanders back to the reunion, thinking about what your mother said and how none of your other relatives defended you from her, only your grandmother had defended you from the person who swore to love you until the end of her life when she gave birth to you.

Hiccups and sobs could be heared throughout your shared bedroom as xiao opened your front door, he was expecting you to come up to him and greet him like always. Xiao walked further into the living to see if you had fallen asleep, seeing as you weren't in the living room, he walked towards your bedroom to hear mumbled sobs.

Xiao had gently opened the door to avoid waking you up if you had fallen asleep, instead he was greeted with the sight of you hugging a pillow while shaking, he had froze in front of the door, not knowing what to do, he walked towards you and sat down by the edge of the bed.

Feeling the bed sink by your feet, you looked towards the edge of the bed to see Xiao sitting down not facing you and looking at the floor.

"Oh.. Xiao your back, how are you? And why are you sitting at the edge of the bed?" You had reached out for him, grabbing his forearm and pulling it towards you softly, making Xiao lean towards you, flinching at his hand reaching to your face, specifically your eyes, had xiao becoming concerned, as they were surrounded by a red hue looking as if you had finished crying.

"____, did...Something happen at your family reunion? " Xiao held your hand, his gaze towards you had soften and trying to tone down his voice..

" no, nothing went –*hic* went wrong at the reunion" you towards your bedside table with a red and puffy eyes. '' you're lying because your eyes say a different story....if you don't mind, do you want to talk about it with me? I know I might not know what to do, but maybe...you'll feel better if you talk about it to me?" Xiao placed his hand on top of yours, trying to comfort you the best he can.

You didn't respond for a good few seconds, contemplating if you should or shouldn't say to him what your mother had said to you at the reunion,eventually, you agreed to talk to xiao about what happened at the reunion.

A few tears were shed by you as you recalled what had happened at the reunion, as much as xiao wasn't much on the comforting side, he was great at the listening side even if he couldn't comfort the best way, but his way of comforting was your best way of comforting and you wouldn't want to replace it with others.

Towards the end of your story, xiao looked a little angry or frustrated, maybe both. "What's wrong Xiao? " your voice was above a whisper, an eerie silence filled the room as Xiao still haven't replied to you, instead he held your hand and rubbed the back of your palm.

"... If you have anymore of those events you call 'family reunion', make sure to call me. I will accompany you so your mother won't be able to say such words to you. " Xiao raised your hand close to his lips, kissing the Beck of your palm, you just stared at him while your mind was formulating a response to his words he directed towards you.

Sobs left your lips as you hung your head low, your tears falling onto the blanket covering your lap. You didn't know what to say, so you nodded your head signaling that you agreed to let him come with you to any family related events.

After you calmed down, you though about what Xiao said earlier when you were crying, specifically the last part. 'I will accompany you so your mother won't be able to say such words to you' you know that Xiao dislikes crowds and events with lots of people he doesn't quite know. "... Are you sure you want to come to every family event? I know how much you hate crowds and such, I don't want you to come and feel uncomfortable" you close your eyes for a few seconds, feeling them become sore because of your tears.

"I do not mind being uncomfortable but I also don't want you to hear words that make you think thoughts that make you dislike parts of your body" Xiao placed his hand on your cheek—showing the side that only you can see once in a while—he gently caresses your eye, wiping the tears left over from you crying.

He gently pulls you closer, patting your hair as if he was lulling you to sleep and since you just finished crying and all the events that happened, you fell asleep almost immediately.

Once xiao felt that you were asleep, he layed you down on the bed and covered you with the blanket. Xiao just sat next to you, looking at you while you sleep, he abruptly stood up thinking that he was creepy for staring at you when you were sleeping, he walked inside the bathroom and washed up since his body was splattered with dry blood.

After he washed up, he sat on the opposite side of you on the bed. Xiao layed down next to you and admired you when you suddenly opened your eyes to look at Xiao in front of you. "I thought you had fallen asleep?" Xiao was taken aback and giggles left your lips when you saw xiao's reaction. "How should I fall asleep when someone so handsome keeps looking at me while I sleep? " you tease Xiao while you come closer, putting your hand on his red hued cheeks, meanwhile, xiao just closes his eyes tightly and grumbles that you should just fall asleep. "Alright, alright. I'll sleep now, just promise me, when I'll wake up you'll be next to me. " you take your hand away from his cheeks and lay on your back, facing that ceiling closing your eyes, trying to fall asleep. "I promise, even when you're awake, I'll be here next to you" xiao takes your hand in his and places a tender kiss.

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chemicallywrit · 5 months ago

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Happy Audio Drama Sunday! What a week! Let’s talk about some shows!

🕷️ Ghosts in the Burbs continues to be the kind of quiet horror that creeps into your brain. This last multipart story has a twist that makes me genuinely worried about the fictionalized Liz Sauer of the podcast. She seems overcome by anxiety and a lack of trust, and I worry it will make her vulnerable to supernatural or mundane attack. And all that would do is reinforce her fears! Hang in there Liz.

📻 @breakerwhiskey HARRY DID WHAT? Suddenly this tenuous, teeth-gritting relationship makes sense. Of course our hero feels betrayed! Of course they never really reconciled! Note that it’s out in the open, I wonder if real reconciliation is on the table.

🌺 @wanderersjournalpod is so fascinating, not just because of the framing device, but also because Marigold tells on themself in this surface humorous story about accidentally poisoning themself. She is starving. Both Marigold and Pluto are in tricky situations and neither of them seems to be reaching out for help from anyone but each other. Is it by necessity, or are they just stubborn?

🦀 What can you say about @thesiltverses? These episodes, mostly monologue, set the scene for whatever the finale will bring, and I can feel the tension building. I have to pour out the accolades for the actors, whose work embodying these roles has been incredible, especially B. Narr.

🌳 My best friend @worldgonewrongpod is back this week and I love this small town drama over creepy trees. Being from small town Colorado myself (although not quite this small), it felt comfortingly familiar. I can’t help but see the parallels between the book banning campaigns in small towns all across the US, which work about as well as shooting trees. This show continues to, in a friendly gentle way, destroy me.

✊🏾1972 wrapped this week! I love a historical drama, and I cheered out loud when Angela Davis was declared not guilty, even though like. That’s a historical event. It wasn’t a surprise. At the same time I found Shirley Chisholm’s campaign so heartbreaking, even though she didn’t. I’d like to be as forgiving and smart as Chisholm, I think. Even though she lost, what she did mattered; even though Angela Davis was in jail for years for no reason, it mattered.

⚙️ In Inn Between news, GET READY FOR THE FINALE KIDS. The penultimate episode is out, and our early access folks will see this season wrap this week. Now I gotta like. Write season six. Pray for me, hopefully this one won’t take a tear and a half.

That’s it for this week! 😘

#audio drama sunday #ghosts in the burbs #breaker whiskey #wanderer’s journal #the silt verses #world gone wrong podcast #1972 podcast #inn between #audio drama #audio fiction #fiction podcast

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