#a true tumblr girl boss

[widgenstain]

One thing that annoys/confuses me about biopics is that for some reason we always need to look at "heroes". Came from nothing, gained influence, faced hardships, prevailed and was a hero in the end. Why not focus more on how people are heroes until they get actual power, which then more or less slowly corrupts them? This has happened way more often in real life, is more historically accurate with most biographies anyway and makes for a much more interesting narrative too imho.

[girlbob-boypants]

And like sure I *could* have been more well written on my very quick offhanded post, but it was a quick reaction to someone unironically using the tags "femce|" and "fema|e manipu|ator" on all of her posts multiple times per day and getting NO interactions while rb'ing almost exclusively aesthetic posts.

It genuinely does boil down to girl your basic human rights and sense of community!!

[thestargirlboss]

[bhavcore]

Once you find WhatsApp stickers cool that shit b addictive af 😭

[glamourbean]

People are just as wack as me but I'm so uncomfy expressing mine irl

its crazy growing up and realizing how deranged everyone is and how many problems everyone has. in such mundane ways. your waiter at olive garden believes in q anon. the woman doing your x ray just moved in with a guy she met a week ago. your insurance agent is a hoarder. etc.

[bread--quest]

It's 2012 somewhere. Welcome.... to Night Vale Tumblr.

👁️ nvcr-official

Hi guys! I'm Intern Sarah! Excited to be joining you all!

👁️ nvcr-official

To the friends and family of Intern Sarah, she was a good intern and social media manager, and we are sorry to see her go. We will work to find a new intern as soon as possible.

83 notes

🦉 dark-owl-records

CALL OUT POST FOR CECIL PALMER

hes gotten away with shit for too long and im sick of it. tl;dr horrific intern mistreatment with no compensation, mountain denier, homophobic

keep reading

❌ number-one-moonhater Follow

Hey uh. Aren't you a company account? Why are you posting this

🦉 dark-owl-records

L + ratio + god forbid women do anything + your music taste is trash

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

Isn't Cecil literally gay?

🦉 dark-owl-records

he's homophobic

🪼 jeebyfish Follow

he has a husband...

🦉 dark-owl-records

yeah and he won't fucking shut up about it

2,500 notes

🤫 cecils-private-blog

Carlos hasn't liked any of my woodcarving posts in THREE DAYS!! I'm so scared what if he's going to break up with me :((

👁️ nvcr-official

Cecil he's your husband he's not breaking up with you. also this isn't a private blog you just put private in the url

🤫 cecils-private-blog

HOW DID YOU SEE THIS

4 notes

🏜️ sandeater Follow

tamika flynn spotted in ralph's dairy aisle "slaying" the milk

🦂 scorpiansscuttle Follow

op i know this is a joke but one time i was in the ralphs dairy aisle and there was some butter up on a really high shelf and someone said "don't worry, i'll get it" and i turned around and it was fucking tamika flynn

☁️ average-weather-enjoyer Follow

fake story :/

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

No it's true I was there

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

TAMIKA FLYNN??

🏜️ sandeater Follow

what the fuck is happening on my post

8,345 notes

👁️ nvcr-official

can you guys please stop sending cecil weird shit... i don't want to have to explain to my boss what a dilf is

27 notes

🐚 mariella-shella

Hey guys!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently! I entered a hole in the wall and when I got out I realized I didn't know how long I'd been in there, or where I was, or who I am, and I'm not sure that I'm still the person who entered that hole however long ago. Anyway, the normal posting schedule will resume as soon as I remember what my normal posting schedule was, and if I'm still the person who had that posting schedule!

🌪️ sandstorm-gf Follow

omg mariella!!! missed u so much girl glad ur back!

🐚 mariella-shella

i miss me too

42 notes

😎 Anonymous asked: Response to the homophobic allegations?

🎙️ cecilpalmer

Huh??

🎙️ cecilpalmer

@nvcr-official What does this mean? Is it new slang?

👁️ nvcr-official

uhhhh dont worry about it buddy

50 notes

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

hey guys im in quarantine for eating wheat and wheat byproducts uh...send asks?? i might be in here for a while lmaooo

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

oh lights in the sky its been 5 years since i made this post

☁️ glowcloudapologist Follow

how's it going op

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

i miss my family

506 notes

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

hey if anyone remembers anything about the person running this blog can you tell me? trying to recover the fragments of my identity from the void of memory lol

🥔 potato-enthusiast Follow

you were really hot

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

FUCK YEAHHHHHH

89 notes

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just a reminder that new residents of east night vale are fully welcome to interact with this blog!!!! you will not be harassed and any hate will be blocked. this blog is safe even if this town isn't sometimes <3

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

This is so sweet, thank you so much! Just so you know, even though it's officially called East Night Vale now, a lot of people still call it Desert Bluffs! Just thought you might want to know :)

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

i'm not calling it that sorry

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

What??? Why??

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just kind of sucks. as a name

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

?????????

170 notes

🐄

⬜️ kentuckymeatshower_deactivated11051983

what does this mean....

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

another great post from huntokar herself

16,683 notes

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

🌲 little-miss-ectoplasm Follow

you don't like pine cliff? 👻 oo ooo?

👁️ nvcr-official

NIGHT VALE SWEEEEEP

806 notes

😁 the-happy-smiler Follow

Hi everyone!! Since Twitter went down, I figured I'd try my hand at this Tumblr thing! I'm so excited to meet all of you!! Hope you're ready for some pictures of CENTIPEDES!! Feel free to AMA about the Smiling God!

👁️ nvcr-official

I

🦉 dark-owl-records

N

🎙️ cecilpalmer

T

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

E

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

R

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

L

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

O

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

P

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

E

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

R

21,983 notes

[lizzy06]

Kuroo Tetsuro x Reader Fic Recs!!(Tumblr/AO3/Wattpad)

Haikyuu! Fic Rec Masterlist

Nekoma Fic Rec Masterlist

I Dare You✨✨✨ by Orphan account(oneshot, fake dating, fluff) Kuroo needs a girlfriend for a week. You're determined to make him regret asking you. [COMPLETED]

Soulmate au ✨✨by @haikyuu-imagines-and-others (oneshot, angst, fluff)[COMPLETED]

 Bed Head ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, humor, slight smut)Kuroo’s hair was an undeniable nuisance. It was a shame, though, because it was here to stay.[COMPLETED]

 The Deal✨ @oreosmama (oneshot, angst to fluff, slight smut) Kuroo needs your help wooing the pain in the ass cheerleader that’s your lab partner. But what if Kuroo wasn’t actually trying to pursue her?[COMPLETED]

 Forgive In Time ✨ @oreosmama (oneshot, angst)Kuroo always teased you, joked with you during class. You couldn’t help but grow feelings for him. Evidently he didn’t return them.[COMPLETED]

Just a Little Confession ✨ @oreosmama (oneshot, angst to fluff) A confession to Kenma doesn’t end as well as you thought it would, but luckily a tall, kind third-year is there to save the day. Still, confessions suck, and relationships are hard to read sometimes.[COMPLETED]

 Pumpkin Eater✨ (angst)(Part 2 Options: Second Chance or Never Again)  @oreosmama Last night, your friend sent you pictures of Kuroo with some girl at a random club. In short, not only was he a liar, but he was also a cheater, and you couldn’t stand to be with him after this.[COMPLETED]

Through the Summer and the Fall ✨ by @intomymindspace (oneshot, death, angst, happy/open ending) For eight short lives, you have loved each other. On your ninth, you are finally able to see it out to the end. (9 lives, haha, get it? Because he’s a Nekoma and they’re cats) [COMPLETED]

the in-between ✨by kuroopaisen (friends to lovers, fluff, nekoma manager! reader) Kuroo decides to tutor you in chemistry... but in return, you have to be nekoma's manager.[COMPLETED]

I miss you by @novanekoma (two shot, angst) main lyric of inspiration: I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything, but I know I miss you[COMPLETED]

Assistance Required by SweetCandyLiar(fluff, tooth rooting)You are Kuroo's Assistant, and boy are you tired of being stuck in the office until midnight because your boss is a workaholic.[COMPLETED]

Provocateur ✨by QuillMind (friends to lovers, childhood friends fluff, smut)The so-called 'provocation expert' of Nekoma High School actually had an equal back in the day, in the form of you, his and Kenma's childhood friend. After eight years, you've moved back to Tokyo for a surprise reunion, but considering you're no longer children, everything can't be the same, can it?[COMPLETED]

soulmate au  by @hold-my-hand-kuroo (oneshot, angst, fluff) aka the soulmate au where everyone is born with a book quote on their chest, and soulmates are people who share the starting and ending lines from the same book, and kuroo’s just unlucky. [COMPLETED]

somewhere only we know ✨by wanderwithme (wanderlustt)(oneshot, fluff, friends to lovers)Four times Kuroo proposes to you—and the last time he does.[COMPLETED]

broken by @tooruluv (oneshor, angst, ex lovers)[COMPLETED]

GHOSTED. by wanderwithme (wanderlustt) (fluff, angst, oneshot)In which Kuroo (a "ghost") falls in love with you (not a ghost).[COMPLETED]

Unrequited by @watevermelon (oneshot, fluff)Years of unrequited feelings and longing looks for your childhood best-friend Kuroo, it was only when he was in the arms of another that he finally realized his true feelings for you; when it is almost too late.[COMPLETED]

“i guess we’re soulmates” by @mirakeul (soulmate au, oneshot, fluff)Soulmate! au where you can write on your skin and it will show up on their skin. You were being bs-ed by yours, Tetsu as he continues to pester your life[COMPLETED]

Hey by Deranged-Gongzhu (soulmate au, fluff, humor) You heard 'hey' for the nth time and you are sure ur response doesn't match [COMPLETED]

Songbird ✨by @sincerelybubbles (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)[COMPLETED]

Dangerous Soulmate by @mango-bango-bby (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)[COMPLETED]

soulmate au by @haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles (oneshot, fluff) soulmate has the same tattoo as you[COMPLETED]

soulmate au by @haikyuu-dream (oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]

Retrouvailles ✨by dudeandduchess (arranged marriage, hate to love, angst, fluff)She was raised to believe that her future marriage was one that was fated, until she met him— the one and only Kuroo Tetsurō. She loved him, he hated her, and he reminded her every single day until she just gave up on him— on them— or did she, really? [ONGOING]

Dating! For science by hqprotectionsquad(oneshot, fake dating, requited love, fluff) Kuroo’s tweaking his AI program for his senior thesis and he just needs one thing left to make this true to life: a fake girlfriend or You. [COMPLETED]

Just Friends by crescentsteel(fluff, angst, smut)You are friends with Kuroo. Friends with benefits that is. You like the set-up, but you end up getting more than what you bargain for.[COMPLETED]

Treasure You ✨ by IndigoWriterNSFW (oneshot, fake dating, friend to lovers, smut) Your parents don't believe you have broken up with kei so u make kuroo your fake bf to convince them [COMPLETED]

heartbreak girl ✓✨ | unrequited love, angst kenma x f!reader x kuroo by @tooruluv | teaser | pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 (final) |[COMPLETED]

rookie by laculite(fluff, smut, pinning)you’re tired of a lot of things; school, your nymphomaniac neighbour, the rising price of fuji apples at your local grocery store. but mostly, you’re tired of being the only that isn’t getting any. or at least, the only one who’s never gotten any before. [COMPLETED]

Public Transit✨✨ by Orphan_account (train, 18+)Your heart pounded, knowing you were being touched, and he was watching you.[COMPLETED]

Somewhere only we know✨ by wanderwithme(wanderlustt)(oneshot,fluff)Four times Kuroo proposes to you—and the last time he does.[COMPLETED]

Reverse Psychology by PetitePandaBear (oneshot, fake dating, fluff) Kuroo insists that you join him to play a prank on Kenma. [COMPLETED]

I Want the Real Thing by Orphan account (Fake dating, friends to lovers) “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” [COMPLETED]

excuse you  ✨by @mitsuki-murakami (oneshot, fluff, jealousy)[COMPLETED]

zero o’clock✨ by @mitsuki-murakami (one shot, angst, fluff)[COMPLETED]

How He Shows You Affection by @jayeray-hq(oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]

He’s My Best Friend by @jayeray-hq(oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]

Domestic Deity? Or Dud?  by @jayeray-hq (oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]

good luck, have fun by wanderwithme(wanderlustt) (oneshot, fluff, slice of life, smut) In which you're a gamer, Kuroo is not a gamer, and Kenma plays an unwitting wingman.[COMPLETED]

Cut From the Same Cloth ✨by Geezfries(fluff, angst, smut)Kuroo is determined to win over Kenma's new friend, who can't stand the sight of him (or so she says) [COMPLETED]

And that's how Kuroo got a girlfriend thanks to Kenma by addictedto__you (oneshot, fake dating, fluff)You're out shopping with your friends, when you decide to stop at GameStop to buy a new videogame. There you bump into a very shy blond haired guy... [COMPLETED]

The Rhyme and Reason for Rhetoric✨ by momothespicy (momothesweet) (smut, fluff) He's a punk who needs a tutor. You're a fanfiction-reading nerd. You know how the rest goes. [HIATUS]

[iamthat-iam]

"Ego", The Final Boss

Olivia (she prefers to be called Liv) has been on quite the spiritual journey for a couple of years. She was born and raised Catholic, then as a teen she decided to leave the church because it didn't resonate with her. She went through a law of attraction phase, followed by law of assumption, and finally, she found non dualism from a few Twitter and Tumblr accounts.

The message, from what she gathered, was that she needed to fully drop the ego in order to realize her true self/true nature and to experience whatever she wanted. She even read a few books where realized masters have spoken about their own personal journeys of dropping ego and how life is generally more peaceful for them now that they've done so.

Now, Liv is one with a troubled past. She would give anything to become an entirely different person with no childhood trauma, and just a happy life all around. She meditated every single day, practiced "sitting in silence", and tried her hardest to detach from her "ego."

She stopped enjoying her usual hobbies out of fear of identifying too much with the character. She would go out of her way to correct thoughts that she felt were "too related to being the person." Needless to say, her mental health began to go downhill very fast.

One of her best friends, Marcus, decided to check up on her one day through face-time. "Hey sis! How have you been?! Haven't seen you in a while."

"Hey..." Liv answered. "I'm not doing all that great to be honest."

"Yeah I figured that. That's why I reached out to you," Marcus stated. "I'm worried about you. It seems like you barely leave the house. Everytime myself or anyone else tries to make plans with you, you either cancel last minute or come up with some bogus excuse as to why you can't come out."

Liv had to laugh because everything he said was true. "So I'm guessing you didn't believe the story about my pet rabbit dying."

Marcus cackled. "GIRL. I've known you for years and not once have you ever had a pet rabbit. Stop playing."

"Okay let me tell you what's really going on with me," Liv began, "So a few months ago I found this 'spiritual practice' called Non Dualism, and the premise of it is you need to 'let go of ego' in order to realize your true nature as God, or Awareness, whatever you want to call it. Also you get to experience whatever you want."

"So this is the reason why you've stopped enjoying your usual hobbies, and why you've stopped having a social life?" Marcus inquired. "I'm going to be honest here. As your friend, I feel like I owe it to you to tell you the Truth even if it isn't what you want to hear. I don't think that this 'practice' has helped you one bit. Either you have misinterpreted the message, or these people are spreading misinformation. Never at any point should you sacrifice your mental health for the sake of 'becoming enlightened.'"

"I don't know what else to do," Liv started to cry a little. "I just want to become a different person living a life full of happiness, one without trauma and constant reminders of my horrible past. I hate being this broken person!"

"It's okay hun, I totally understand," Marcus consoled her. "I can help you. You remember my family guru right? She hates being called that, but I don't know how else to refer to her. Her name is Sage. My family has gone to her for spiritual advice and healing for years."

"Yes, I remember her! Didn't she help your mom heal her lower back pain?" Liv asked excitedly.

"She sure did. I can give you her number if you want!"

After Liv ended her face-time call with Marcus, he gave her Sage's number. She immediately reached out to her to schedule a day where they can meet up.

- -

One day, Liv arrived at a beautiful park to discover Sage already sitting on one of the benches waiting. "Hi! I don't know if you remember me, I'm Marcus' friend Liv."

"Yes! Hi Liv, it's nice to see you again," Sage reached out and gave Liv a warm hug. "Now what can I help you with?"

Liv sat down next to Sage. "Well, I discovered Non dualism a few months ago, and I'm not sure if I misunderstood the message or not, but I thought you had to let go of ego in order to realize your true nature as awareness. And after you realize this, you can experience whatever you want. So long story short, I stopped enjoying life because I thought I had to do that in order to be enlightened."

Sage hesitated for a moment, and then smiled. "Think about it this way.. if it's true that our true nature is awareness, or God, whatever label you put on it, why would you have to go through these unnecessary steps in order to 'become' it? If that's what you already are in the first place?"

Liv opened her mouth to reply, then closed it again. Maybe Sage had a point.

"Here are my thoughts. If anyone is telling you to 'drop the ego', it's bullshit," Sage chuckled. "The point of Non Dualism is realizing that you were always awareness. You were always the awareness behind everything that seems to appear. The ever-stretching, limitless silence that can take on the form of anything. The ego is just a thought. The idea that you are not already fully realized is also just a thought. In reality, there's no ego or person here to let go of. No person here who needs to become 'fully realized.' Just drop the idea that you are a limited human that has to become something, and you'll be golden."

Liv's jaw dropped to the ground. "You're telling me it was THAT SIMPLE THIS ENTIRE TIME?"

Sage laughed heartily. "Yes it is. Why do you think it took masters like Lester or Sri Nisgardatta months or YEARS to 'realize Self?' because they spent so much time trying to get rid of an ego that doesn't exist!"

Liv let out a sigh of relief. "So there really is nothing to do. I can't believe I exerted all that effort for nothing. I do have one more question, how can I experience whatever I want knowing I'm awareness? I want to be a completely different person with a different past."

"The person you think you are now, and the one you want to be are both illusions. You, as awareness, can 'choose' either one like a costume. Everytime you think about this ideal version of you, you've already experienced it," Sage grinned.

Suddenly a wave of emotions flooded through Liv, a mixture of relief and happiness. She felt the urge to give Sage a tight hug. "Thank you so much for helping me today."

"You're so welcome, sweetie."

Good for Liv, she has finally accepted her omnipotence and freedom to experience anything!

[scoonsaliciousupdates]

Unwanted: Chapter 24, Undercover - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, exotic dancing, underage drug use, implications of human trafficking, poorly translated Russian

Word Count: 1.8k

Previously On...: You returned back to the safehouse. Sam told you Bucky's been trying to avoid Cunthrage, but you're done caring.

A/N: I'm not going to lie, I love Dimitri. <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

You spent the next few days in one of two ways: your work hours trying to find out as much about Kozlov’s silent partners as possible, and your off time looking for someone to fuck the memory of Bucky right out of you.

You were coming up empty on the former, and even worse on the latter. It didn’t seem to matter how many guys you found to put their dicks in you; none of them did what Bucky could do to your body. You’d at least learned from your mistake with Bad Decision #1 and had gone out and bought a large pack of condoms. You weren’t going to run any more risks in that department. 

As you entered the floor for the start of your next shift, Henchman #2– Dimitri– you reminded yourself, approached you. 

“Cherry, yes?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Boss vants you to dance in his private lounge tonight,” he said, gently herding you in the direction of Kozlov’s suite of rooms.

“Okay,” you said hesitantly. “Is there a private party, or…” You left the thought hanging, hoping Dimitiri would fill the silence.

Bless his heart, the idiot did. He leaned down to whisper conspiratorially as you walked together. “Zer is big boss with Kozlov tonight,” he told you, and your heart nearly stopped. You couldn’t believe your luck. “He vishes to see ze best talent, and Kozlov ask for you special.” Your eyes glanced down to your bangle. Were they about to try and make you their latest offering for the auction block?

“Big boss?” you asked, feigning ignorance. “But I thought Kozlov owned the club. How can he have a boss if he is the boss?”

You’d stopped now in front of the doors to Kozlov’s rooms.

Dimitiri laughed, as though you were just a silly girl who couldn’t possibly understand how the world worked. “Kozlov owns Viggle Room, yes. Dis iz true. But big boss is from large group zat funds club. Very secret group. Very scary.” He raised his hands like monster claws and laughed. “Kozlov calls zem– how do you say? Gidra.” Hydra.

You gasped, and Dimitri mistook your surprise for fear.

“Oh, not to worry, little dove! I zink zis group not so scary as zey pretend to be. Gidra all talk.” He held up his hand like a puppet. “All ze time, Gidra is ‘blah, blah, blah,’ yes? No action.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, hoping you weren’t pressing your luck with your question.

“Zer is somezing Gidra iz looking for. Zey vant it very bad. Very, very bad. Zey look for long time, yes? But never find. Dimitri think, Gidra cannot be good at job if ze cannot find zis zing zey are to be looking for, no?”

“Well, what are they looking for? Maybe I’ve seen it.” Yeah, you were laying it on a little thick now, but you wanted to keep the man talking to see what other nuggets of intel he was willing to drop in your lap.

“Aw, little dove iz very sweet to ask. But Dimitri doez not know vhat zis important zing iz. Kozlov never say.” “That doesn’t seem very nice of him,” you said, hedging on a bet to gain move of the man’s confidence. “You’ve always seemed like a very good employee for Mr. Kozlov. Very loyal, very brave. He should reward you by trusting you more.”

Dimitri’s chest puffed up a bit at your words. “Little dove is kind. Dimitri iz not worried. Kozlov will tell if Dimitri must know.”

Well, that failed.

Dimitri knocked on the door, and after a moment, Kozlov answered, shirt half unbuttoned and nose already red from having snorted something. Wonderful, you thought. This’ll be great.

“Cherry Pie, boss,” Dimitri said, presenting you to Kozlov. The look the club owner gave you as he eyed you up and down was downright lecherous and you had to suppress the way it made your skin crawl.

“Ah, ze little dove, at last!” Kozlov exclaimed, throwing the door open wider. You glanced over his shoulder and could see a few other men, among them six or seven of Kozlov’s top girls in various states of undress. “Come, come,” he motioned you inside. “I have friendz I vish you to meet!”

If you had been expecting Kozlov to walk you up to each man and introduce them by name, you were sorely mistaken. Instead, he put his hands on your shoulder and addressed them as if you were an inanimate object.

“Gentlemen, I present our Cherry Pie! She haz only been vith us a short time, but she haz proved very popular, and has much talent. Show them vhat you do, little dove.”

He smacked your ass, your cue to begin your dance. You tried to keep your focus on the men’s conversation as you gyrated to the music, but one of the other girls danced her way over to you and tried striking up a conversation.

“Hi! I’m Chloe! I hope you don’t mind; I watched some of your sets. You’re such a good dancer!” You smiled in her direction, not wanting to take your concentration from the men, who seemed to be comparing the girls against one another. 

“How long have you been in the business,” the girl– Chloe– asked you.

“A while,” you murmured

“No wonder you’re so good, then!” She smiled brightly as she bent over and shook her ass. “You’ve had time to practice. I just started. My stepdad set me up at this place. I guess he used to play cards with Mr. Kozlov? That’s how he knew the club needed more dancers.”

That caught your attention and you froze momentarily. “How old are you?” you asked her. You turned to really look at her. God. She could have been you fifteen years ago.

Chloe leaned in close and whispered in your ear. “Eighteen,” she said with a giggle– you didn’t believe her for a minute, “but my stepdad said if anyone asks, I’m supposed to tell them I’m twenty-one”

Your stomach turned, and you felt for a moment like you might be sick. “Why aren’t you in school?” you asked her, trying to keep the sudden tremble out of your voice. 

Chloe shrugged as she turned in a seductive circle. “My stepdad says we need money more than I need school right now. He said once we’re back on our feet, I can go back.”

“What about your mom? What does she say? She can’t agree with that.”

Chloe’s face fell, and the churning sensation in your stomach intensified. “She’s sick.” Her voice was so soft now you had to strain to hear it. 

Your breathing began coming faster, your pulse picking up. This was wrong. “You shouldn’t be here, Chloe,” you whispered to her, desperation in your voice.

Chloe frowned and paused her dancing. “I know I’m not as good as you, but I’m a fast learner. I’ll get better.”

“No,” you interjected quickly. “That’s not what I meant. I mean you shouldn’t be in this club, you shouldn’t be a fucking stripper. You’re just a kid. You should be in school, getting an education, not shaking your ass for some scumbag stepfather.”

A heavy crease appeared between Chloe’s brows. “He’s not a scumbag,” she countered. “He works hard, but the money’s just never enough. Mom’s medicine is expensive, and we don’t have insurance.”

“Then he should have gotten you a job at McDonald’s or something, not making you show strange men your tits for money!” you hissed. 

Chloe took a step away from you. “You’re not better than me,” she said, and you could hear the hurt in her voice.

“I never said I was,” you began.

“Ladies!” Kozlov called, interrupting you and drawing the girls’ attention back to where the men were sitting, “come, it iz time to share some party favors!” 

On the table were lines of coke, one prepared for each dancer. “Who vill go first?” Kozlov asked with a grin.

Chloe stepped forward, casting you a cold glance. 

“Ah, Chloe! Come, come, love.” You wanted to scream, to swipe your hand across the table and send the white powder flying across the room, but it was vital you maintain your cover. You didn’t have nearly enough information to risk blowing it over some, well, blow.

The men murmured appreciatively as Chloe bent over, making sure to point her ass in their direction, as she snorted the line up her nose. It was obvious by the ease in which she did it, with no hesitation, that this was not her first time. You closed your eyes.

One by one, the other girls stepped forward to do their lines. You noticed how the men murmured amongst themselves as each girl stepped up, as if they were judging them. And then it hit you.

This was a test. 

They were determining how well you each followed orders, how much resistance you would put up. You watched as some of the girls sniffled and sneezed as they inhaled; these were the girls who made the men seem happiest– you knew they were pleased to see a girl who apparently had never done coke before willingly do so just because a man told her to. They were judging your submissiveness.

Finally, there were only two of you left: you, and a redhead you knew went by Birdie. The poor girl looked terrified and was shaking her head. You stepped forward.

“Ah, little dove,” Kozlov cooed, “I vaz vondering vhen you vould come play.” You took a deep breath to steel your nerves, bent down, and snorted the two remaining lines yourself.

You felt the rush hit you almost immediately. “Oops,” you giggled, “sorry, Birdie. I guess I got a little greedy.” There was no mistaking the gratitude in the other girl’s eyes– it was obvious to her that you had snorted the second line so that she wouldn’t have to. 

You could already feel your heart begin to race, and for a moment, you almost felt like you had two heartbeats. Kozlov came up behind you and wrapped a lanky arm around your waist. 

“Naughty, naughty, little dove,” he smirked at you. “I vill have to punish you later,” he whispered in your ear. It sent a shiver of repulsion throughout your body, which Kozlov must have taken for anticipation, because he pressed his hips into your back, and you could feel his erection press against you. 

From there, your memories of the night became hazy. You had brief flashes of awareness– grinding against one of the visiting men– kissing another dancer– Kozlov’s hands all over your body. You knew the situation was not ideal, that Sam would be furious with you. Hell, you knew you could potentially jeopardize the entire mission, but in the moment, you realized that all the pain, all the anger and rage you’d been holding in because of Bucky– all that was just gone, as though it had blown away on the wind. And though a tiny voice in the back of your head was telling you you’d regret everything in the morning, for the moment, you were grateful.

<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->

[rekino2114]

Presenting your profile to the ace attorney girls

A/n:I got inspired by a post I saw and decided to make it with the girls mainly cause i LOVE writing stuff that fits with the gameplay of a game if that makes sense, please tell me you understood that

Let's pretend that you can show profiles in every game

Ngl putting the tags on this might have taken more time than writing the fic itself (I literally exceeded tumblr's tag limit)

Maya fey

Maya:Oh hey, it's y/n. Do you know what they're doing now? I'd like to go on a date with them

Phoenix:....we're in the middle of solving a case.

Maya:so? There's no wrong time to go on a date with your partner

Mia fey

Mia:y/n? What about them?

Phoenix:they're your partner aren't they?

Mia:Yes, that is true....although I'd like it if you could keep that private. I am your superior, after all

Phoenix:s-sorry boss

Lana skye

Lana:.......

Phoenix:........

Lana:what is it?

Phoenix:nothing I just thought you'd have a stronger reaction to seeing a picture of your s/o

Lana:I don't like to mix my work and personal life, ask Ema if you're really interested

Phoenix:(how does she have an s/o at all with that attitude?)

Ema skye

Ema:That reminds me, if you see y/n, please don't tell them I was eating snackoos

Apollo:hm? Why?

Ema:they.....might have put me on a snack ban cause I spilled fingerprint dust on their clothes

Apollo:......why were you carrying fingerprint dust in your home in the first place?

Ema:......y-you don't need to know that

Franziska von karma

Phoenix:prosecutor von karma might I- ow what was the whipping for?

Von karma:that was for carrying a picture of y/n without their permission

Phoenix:I keep photos of everyone involved with- ow! Again?

Von karma:that was for presenting it to me

Phoenix:why are you mad at me for tha- WHAT ABOUT NOW?

Von karma:nothing, I just felt like it

Phoenix:........

Adrian andrews

Andrews:Oh,that reminded me. I should probably call y/n and see how they're doing

Phoenix: You must really love them

Andrews:Of course, after celeste's death, they were the only good person I had in my life. They really are so so important to me

Iris Hawthorne

Iris:......y-y/n

Phoenix:they're your partner right?

Iris:yes....they-they're the only person involved with me that didn't get their life ruined by dahlia, I couldn't be happier about that

Trucy wright

Trucy:Please don't tell y/n about this, but I'm preparing a super cool magic show made just for them

Apollo:oh that sounds great.....I'm not participating in it am I?

Trucy:Of course polly, who else is gonna be my assistant?

Apollo:(and when did I agree?)

Vera misham

Vera:.....y/n!....

[She draws a heart on her notebook with a smile on her face]

Apollo:I think that's the most emotion I've seen out of her

Trucy: Yeah she probably loves her s/o a lot

Athena cykes

Widget:y/nnnnnn, I love them soooo much

Athena:*blushes* w-widget!....s-sorry boss

Phoenix:it's alright, I know how widget is, that just means you really love your s/o and that's great

Athena:Yeah you're right, I do really love them a lot

Juniper woods

Woods:*blushes* t-thena, don't go around showing me y/n's photo randomly

Athena:Sorry, Junie, but there's nothing wrong with that, right? After all, they are your partner that you love sooo much

Woods:*blushes* If you continue like this, you're gonna make me die of embarrassment

Kay faraday

Kay:there they are! The person who stole my heart

Edgeworth:........

Kay:Get it, Mr Edgeworth? Cause I'm a thief

Edgeworth:yes I got it, I didn't laugh because it wasn't funny

Kay:come on!

Justine courtney

Edgeworth:judge Courtney, this is your romantic partner correct?

Courtney:Yes, they are, y/n is my fiance actually,John is very happy to have another parent figure other than me

Kay:Wow, it must be nice of him to have both of his parents

Courtney:.........shall I remind you that technically he has none of them

Kay:......o-oh yeah I forgot, sorry......eheh

Edgeworth:were you jealous of him?

Kay:........a-aren't you too?

Susato mikotoba

Susato:Is y/n in need of something?

Ryunosuke:oh no I just wanted to speak to you about them

Susato:oh alright then

Ryunosuke:you were really ready to go to them?

Susato:Of course, I'd do anything for them, I want to be the best girlfriend they could ever have, just like I want to be the best judicial assistant you could ever have

Gina lestrade

Ryunosuke:Hey Gina I wanted to-.....w-wait where's the picture?

Gina:you looking for this oddo?

Ryunosuke:....I thought you stopped with the pickpocketing

Gina:Sorry, but I'm gonna keep it, it's of my s/o, and we don't all have fancy cameras like Mr sholmes

Ryunosuke:Scotland yard doesn't?

Gina:Nah,we do, but the boss won't let us use it for "personal purposes." trust me I tried

Esmeralda tusspells

Tusspells:Oh, you have a picture of y/n perfect! Do you mind selling it to me?

Ryunosuke:Hm, why?

Tusspells:I want to make a wax statue of them to celebrate our anniversary but can't use them as a model since I want it to be a surprise, so a picture would be perfect

Ryunosuke:sorry but I need this for the case

Tusspells:Should I remind you what position your detective friend is in? I'm sure you need all the money you can get

Ryunosuke:.......that's fair

Maria gorey

Gorey:That's y/n.....why do you have a picture of them?

Ryunosuke:o-oh you know for case-

Gorey:You know it's been a while since I gave them a gift. Maybe they'd appreciate a real heart to show them my love

Ryunosuke:ok ok I'll throw the picture away (every time I'm near her i feel like she wants to kill me)

Espella cantabella

Espella:ah y/n, they're so sweet

Layton:they must be very important to you am I right?

Espella:yes they treat with so much love and kindness, they truly are the light of my life

Layton:ah young love is so beautiful

Darklaw/eve belduke

Darklaw:no

Phoenix:w-what?

Darklaw:if you want to ask me about y/n then don't. Do you want to end up on trial for disrespecting the high inquisitor?

Phoenix:o-ok (with how scary she is y/n must feel very protected)

[masha-nikita]

The Archetypes of Red Rose, White Rose

I need to balance my brain out due to sudden onset of depression. It is the result. Rommel is probably the only general who, even if you draw him from the back, he's still recognizable- flowers, a camera, and love for beauty. Rommel has a Venus-Mercury conjunct with a direct Neptune influence; he is going to appreciate artistic expressions.

In fact, this colored-doodle with an unintentional Mucha vibe has the energy of his wife Lucy in mind. According to some sources, Rommel wrote home to Lucy daily, as it was reported to be his mental crutch- I imagine it to be transcendental emotional support, not unlike my own experience, my own relationship with our Tumblr community here. Whether you guys interact with me directly or not, you keep me alive. My sincere thanks to you.

Lucy was a formal dancer in Danzig with a decent middle-class background, her father seemed to be a land owner- Lucy being able to do art, probably added to his admiration for her- fellow artists, angelic companionship.

I suppose he did need emotional supports, and a lot of it-- Rommel is the only high commander with whom Kessering "the smiling Albert" did not get along-- which is a feat. After all, Kessering was very renowned for his exceedingly cordial and diplomatic temperament. The same could be said of von Rundstedt, the calm, gentlemanly, old Prussian field marshal. These two could put up with some bad BS from any one else, except Rommel. He was too intense, too mentally off-balance, too difficult to deal with for his colleagues.

There are a few things I noticed from Rommel's biography (including the Trail of the Fox, 2005), that allow me to make some observations. His love for Lucy appears to be non-sexual. They had their only son 12 years after marriage. That is a pretty long time, not customary with a Scorpio man who has a 8th house Mars (who is supposed to have at least above average sex drive).

As a matter of fact, Rommel had a daughter with Walburga Stemmer before his marriage with Lucy was finalized. At that point Rommel’s family felt the need to step in and strong-armed him back with his fiancée-- one reason being to prevent the young lieutenant from the pitfalls of sex and alcohol. In my humble opinion, the subtext here might be Lucy would not lead him astray in that regard, therefore his conservative family would rather have him marrying Lucy.

A side note, Stemmer family still holds a collection of hopelessly romantic letters from Rommel. Did Rommel write comparable letters to Lucy at that point in time? A bit hard to tell.

I could not recall which article comments that Rommel was "hen-pecked' in the household, but Lucy was dominant at home, that part had been very true.

Ouch, I don't know, some aspects of this living environment must've been toxic to Rommel no matter how much some folks wants to romanticize it. It is horrible to be in a friend group where there's a mean girl boss who takes pride in ruling over her husband and turning any girl who crosses her into a persona-non-grata. But I digress. Back to my title.

Nevertheless, for me, Lucy being archetypal White Rose still holds water as a concept.

The Red Rose- White Rose archetypes originated from the same-titled short novel by Zhang Ailing, one of the 20th century's greatest female writers. She depicts love's tragedies as Chin dynasty fell apart and China marched into an era of post-colonialism, world war II, civil wars and partisan conflicts-- and eventually, modernity.

White rose is your ideal wife, the guardian of your family's social standing. She is angelic, she seems docile, she reminds you that you are from a place of honor and integrity, not of seedy backgrounds and carnal desires. White rose kills love by loving you, by being stable, by calming you down whenever you freak out. Very slowly, she castrates you, she brings you home to domesticate you.

The Red Rose symbolizes those dark desires, a black hole that sucks you in to have sex with you, a fragrant bed, a sex dungeon you do not have the will power to claw yourself out of. Red rose loves you by conquering you, destroying you and everything you represent and cherish with triumphant strides. Very quickly Red rose tears you down, burns all your bridges, until you are beyond recognition, until you are flesh, blood, fire and desire, a literal mess.

It is implied in Ailing's novel that men invariably choose the White Rose, because they are human, all too human. Marrying her, he regrets it; not marrying her, he regrets it even more. Such is love's tragedy in the face of humanity, and tragedy is the only inevitability in Ailing's universe. That's why I pull Lucy in as a faint through-line in my Montgomery x Rommel fanfics... not that I am going to write any more, I don't think so.

And yes, Red Rose is synonymous with Bernard Montgomery, in my fandom brain's humble opinion.

I know I am weird.

[sadly-never-after]

Music in the EAH Universe and who listens to them Part 4.

This is just an excuse to try to make music puns and share music I think the characters would listen to. (Some of these are even canon by the books!) I don't even like a majority of these musicians but I am fully convinced of my choices here. I marked in colours the one that are canonically part of the EAH Universe.

Since Tumblr only allows 100 inline links for a post I have to make different parts.

Part 1 (Alistair, Apple, Ashlynn, Blondie, Briar, Bunny)

Part 2 (Cupid, Cedar, Cerise, Chase, Courtly, Daring)

Part 3 (Darling, Dexter, Duchess, Farrah, Faybelle, Ginger)

Part 4 (Holly, Hopper, Humphrey, Hunter, Jillian, Justine)

Part 5 (Kitty, Lizzie, Maddie, Meeshell, Melody, Nina)

Part 6 (Poppy, Ramona, Raven, Rosabella, Sparrow, Tucker)

☽𖤓 🏰 𖤓☾ Holly O'Hair ☽𖤓 🏰 𖤓☾

Taylor Quick (It's nice to have a friend, King of my heart, Love Story)

Justin Timberwolf (Can't Stop The Feeling, Perfect, True Colours)

Katy Fairy (Teenage Dream, Legendary Lovers, Love Me)

Little Red Sheeran (Perfect, Shape of You, Happier)

One Reflection (Perfect, Gotta Be You, You & I)

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 🐸 👑 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 Hopper Croakington II 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 🐸 👑 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Wizard (Pink Triangle, I Just Threw Out The Love Of My Dreams, Say It Ain't So)

Ricky Montgnomery (Line Without A Hook, Mr. Loverman, Dont Know How)

Truelove (Tonguetied, Ways to go, Love Will Save Your Soul)

Katy Fairy (Last Friday Night, Thinking of You, The One That Got Away)

Beach Beast (Cloud 9, Prom Queen, Nice Guys)

🥚 🜲 🥚 🜲 🥚 Humphrey Dumpty 🥚 🜲 🥚 🜲 🥚

Eminymph (Lose Yourself, Without Me, The real slim shady)

Lil Swain (Sucker for Pain, Love Me, Mirror)

N-Chant (Rich Money, IDL, Homeboy on a shirt)

Twenty one kings men (Holding on to you, Choker, Johnny Boy)

Wizard (Beverly Hills, Buddy Holly, Thank God For Girls)

🐾🏹🐺🐻 Hunter Huntsman 🐾🏹🐺🐻

Encounter Dragons (It's Time, Enemy, On Top of the World)

Fall Out Book (Centuries, I don't care, Dance, Dance)

OneKingdom (Feel Again, I Don't Wanna Wait, Counting Stars)

Trollplay (The Scientist, Green Eyes, Miracles)

Ever After Authors (Do My Own Thing, Something Amazing, Blind for Love)

𖠗 🌱 ❀ᮬᰰུㅤ Jillian Beanstalk 𖠗 🌱 ❀ᮬᰰུㅤ

Goldie (Call Me, Maria, Picture This)

Corset Suffocation (Rebel Girl, Double Dare Ya, Carnival)

Joan Jett & the Redhearts (Bad Reputation, Crimson & Clover, Bad Karma)

Notting Ham (Champion, White Flag, River)

Encounter Dragons (Believer, Radioactive, Enemy)

🩰♡₊˚・₊ ♪ ✧♫₊˚.✧💃🏾 Justine Dancer 🩰♡₊˚・₊ ♪ ✧♫₊˚.✧💃🏾

D'aulnoy Cat (Kiss Me More, Boss Bitch, Woman)

Lana d'Aulnoy (Blue Jeans, West Coast, Old Money)

FKA Witch (I'm Your Doll, Lights On, Talk To Me)

Fayoncé (Run the world, Me, Myself & I, Dance For You)

Michael Jack-and-the-Beanstalk (Thriller, Smooth Criminal, Blood on the dance floor)

You are trapped on an eight-hour long road trip with these guys and you have to give one of them the aux chord.

[crackers4jenn]

Fic Masterlist - Supernatural (Dean/Cas)

CANON-ADJACENT

TITLE: down the road (WIP)

SUMMARY: Set immediately after the s7 finale, when Dean and Cas get sucked into Purgatory. They stick together to fight their way back out, running into some old friends along the way... and some old enemies. (Or, Brokeback Purgatory 1.0. Dean and Cas work through their issues in monsterland.)

TITLE: every inch of my life

SUMMARY: Post-season 15, in a version where Dean doesn't die and Cas is back from the Empty. Gabriel shows up with some mischief in mind, hurtling them through classic porn tropes.

TITLE: one more time (WIP)

SUMMARY: Set during the s15 divorce arc. What if Cas got captured by a djinn. What if he experienced his moment of ‘true happiness’ while caught in its dream, and it summoned the Empty. What if Dean saved Cas from the djinn, only to have a portal of black goo open up in front of them?

TITLE: lapse and fall again

SUMMARY: A post-finale fix-it fic where Dean doesn't die. Instead, he pulls Cas out of the Empty. Eventually, after the reunion, there's romance and a road trip, but not specifically in that order.

TITLE: like a tidal wave I'll make a mess

SUMMARY: 5 Times Dean and Cas Get Mistaken for a Couple (and 1 Time They Actually Are)

TITLE: and I will pull my whole heart up to the surface

SUMMARY: 15x20 fix-it fic. Heaven feels perfect, until suddenly it doesn't.

TITLE: here's a map, here's a shovel, here's my achilles heel

SUMMARY: Post-15x19. Turns out, Dean doesn't have to ask to get Cas back.

TITLE: sink

SUMMARY: "Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

TITLE: dry and blown like dust

SUMMARY: They worry first about angel doings and once-dormant plagues and monster illnesses from cursed objects around the bunker, but Sam WebMD's Cas' symptoms and diagnoses him with: the flu. Set in s9.

TITLE: Mr & Mr Winchester

SUMMARY: "No pet names, I popped the damn question, and you're the girl." (Or, Dean and Castiel: fake-married. Set in a hypothetical s9.)

TITLE: lights down low

SUMMARY: When Dean comes to, it's with a fuzzy, head-pounding disorientation. He's on his back, on the ground, that much he immediately knows, where there's an overgrown lawn cushioning what must've been one hell of a landing. (Or, my excuse to do a canon-compliant Dean/Cas rom-com.)

TITLE: the morning when it's clear

SUMMARY: Post-8.02 Purgatory fic. When it all goes to shit, and obviously it does, it feels like the world is splintering open. That's probably because it is.

✨

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

TITLE: 99 problems (and a stitch ain't one) (WIP)

SUMMARY: Dean gets a job at a craft store to woo and date ladies, but his plans backfire because his boss is the v. annoying but v. dreamy Castiel, who might be the actual temptation.

TITLE: Wedding Guy

SUMMARY: Cas slips Dean his number at a wedding, and a friendship/relationship takes off from there.

TITLE: on higher grounds

SUMMARY: (based off a tumblr post) charity collector cas who has a spot outside dean’s favourite book store in town and who always looks so cold despite the huge scarf he wears so dean takes to bringing him hot chocolate every day and cas gets this little smile every time he sees dean coming down the street

TITLE: a way not steep

SUMMARY: Dean's twenty-six and his roommate's a guy who cries during E.T.

TITLE: like only a best friend could

SUMMARY: They're both 18 now and Cas is going off to college and Dean's. Well, Dean's probably headed for a fun future of 'would you like fries with that?' and sometimes it scares him so much he thinks about running away too. Like their dads.

✨

CROSSOVER/FUSION

TITLE: Filming Jesus

FANDOMS: Community, Supernatural

SUMMARY: God is not here, Dean. (Or, Jeff and Annie meet Dean and Castiel. Set during Community s3 and SPN s5.)

TITLE: 11 characters that never were the slayer

FANDOMS: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, The Office, Community, Glee, Parks & Rec, Gilmore Girls, etc etc.

[the-marron]

All-Forgotten Fics of Yours Truly

You know who constantly forgets to post stuff on Tumblr? Me.

And so now when I tried to find a link to one of my fics I couldn't because it's physically not there 🙃 I am a pro at social media. So now I decided to do a round up of all the Guardian stuff I haven't posted before, just for archival purposes 😅

Guardian

1. To wild uncharted waters

Summary:

Tonight, Shen Wei is abandoning all of Aoguang’s laws and heading towards the shore, for the second time in his entire life. All for Kunlun.

Also known as mermaid!au, written for @birdbird-blog ❤

2. What happens to the heart

Summary:

“I bring an offering,” he starts, feeling the oddness of the words on his tongue. This is not an offering, not exactly. It’s not incense and gold worthy of a god, it’s not a string of worshipful words either, and yet with who they are, The Ghost King has no other word for it.

There is nothing else a ghost can offer to a god.

Novel-verse, an attempt at happy moment between Kunlun and Shen Wei

3. Spellbound

Summary:

Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei Vs Ancient Couples Counseling

Also known as duck!SW fic

4. The Way of the Househusband

Summary:

Zhao Yunlan vs household chores feat Shen Wei's existential crisis

Technically this one appeared on my self-rec post at some point and it was added to the art that inspired it but I technically didn't publish it here myself, so here it is. Domesticity, dear people, what else can I say.

5. hold every memory as you go

Summary:

Wang Zheng was her first girl friend. It sounds sad when she thinks about it, that the first woman she felt true connection with was a dead girl found by her boss and Da Qing in the woods, but that's still a fact. She didn't have true friends before, not like that.

Also known as: not a fix it people, just Zhu Hong post-canon, thinking about everything she's lost and learning to move on with hope

6. I've got a dream

Summary:

“I swear, if it turns out you have no idea where we are going, I will murder you and leave your body for the crows to find,” Chu Shuzhi said conversationally, stomping through the mud with the air of a man condemned to an unjust punishment. The object of his anger, Zhao Yunlan the Adventurer, just shrugged without turning back. Chu Nianzhi was certain that he had heard worse threats in his life, he used to work at the court after all. Though, in what capacity, Zhao Yunlan had never disclosed – ever since Nianzhi and Shuzhi met him at the inn, winning a strange map from a crowd of very suspicious looking men, all that they managed to get out of him was that he was on an adventure.

Written for an event, it has Chu brothers having The Time of Their Lives (Not) thanks to Zhao Yunlan who Apparently Has A Wife

7. Wish You Were Here

Summary:

Instead of falling asleep, Shen Wei gets to experience the millennia of longing, year after a lonely year.

Written for a friend, featuring, well, lots of loneliness

And I think that's all from Guardian? The rest was here because of the Guardian Bingo, I am pretty sure

And now, as my treat from me to me, the forgotten Luolins:

Luolin [WEILAN DERIVATIVES]

1. Unscathed [WIP]

Summary:

“Well, hello,” the man said, his lips tugging up in a smile. Not prepared for that, all Lin Nansheng could do in reply was to cough shallowly, the exertion of the chase getting to him. “You can let go, comrade, I won’t run.” Despite the lightness in his words, the voice was hushed, as if trying not to attract more attention. And yet, Lin Nansheng found himself letting go. The stranger used his free hand to support the bundle pressed against his chest.

---

A bitter and disillusioned Lin Nansheng gets pulled into much more excitement than he bargained for.

Post-canon longfic that I am still trying to write despite the lack of time. Totally not known as Godzilla AU, not at all good sir.

2. A Practical Arrangement

Summary:

It was a pure accident that Luo Fei and Lan Xinjie knew each other, and that the lady came to Cen Zimo with questions about a possible accommodation for her friend was a sign from the heavens. Luo Fei wasn’t convinced of course, but the argument of 'practical arrangement' swayed him in the end.

Technically it's not Luolin for it features an outsider POV of another deriv that has romantic plans re: LF, but let's be real here, I wouldn't break up Luolin for anyone so it's Luolin through and through. Sorry, Cen Zimo. (I am not)

3. we devour, like a falcon in the dive

Summary:

A quiet moment of trust that morphs into something much more.

Based on art, first attempt to give these two an actual happy ending and not an ambigious one

4. only a touch of dust remains

Summary:

He knows what he will find when he opens the door. He's known for a while, he's been preparing for it but still, the moment his hand touches the handle, he hesitates. He never hesitates, there is no reason for him to do so – there is nothing that can surprise him.

Angst. Outsider's POV. Did I mention angst?

5. All in the Scheme of Things

Summary:

And then Wu-laoshi brought in Luo Fei – a tall, handsome man in a well-tailored suit whose words were outpaced only by his thoughts. It was with relief that Lin Nansheng realized that they didn’t manage to discuss anything and would have to meet again – he had a good excuse to see Luo Fei again.

Modern Teacher!au, a prequel to one of my fics from Weilan Derivs week 2022.

6. Unmoored Academicals [CROSSOVER]

Summary:

A foreboding sense of familiarity washed over Zhao Yunlan. His mind had one, final thought of’ not again’, before the vortex of time opened for good and swallowed everything around him. -- The 'DCU moonlights as Shanghai University' crack that wouldn't leave my brain, with a dash of academia humour

Yeah, I wrote it mostly for crack reasons, but also to appreciate that while there are some similarities between them, SW and LNS are very different, as are LF and ZYL - it is a bit of a love letter to BY and Z1L's acting abilities, dressed up as a crack about a university jumping dimensions, just like Pratchett would have wanted

7. The man you seek is long gone

Summary:

After returning from Hong Kong, Lin Nansheng tries to find out what happened to Luo Fei. -- Mostly canon compliant with some fix-ity changes added

Presumed dead fic, because everyone needs one 🤗

8. It's falsehood's flame, it's a crying shame

Summary:

There is a man at the door, dressed in a rather expensive-looking suit, looking around with a faint air of distaste. He has a cane in his hand and a certain confidence around him – Lin Nansheng notices all of that, but it is dulled by the realization that the man is really handsome. * In an alternate universe, Chen Moqun becomes a crime boss instead of the Station Chief. Lin Nansheng follows him either way, until he encounters an unexpected complication in the form of Luo Fei.

Not-really (and yet) mafia!au which is also my first Luolin ever, written for @babischlong-six 😌❤

and now I am off to live that cryptid life because there are still at least a dozen weilan derivs fics that I haven't posted here either but I don't have the energy to do it today. Better to do something than nothing and all that ~

[lynn-vdg]

HALLO!!! Im Reading the jjk manga right now so just checking in because it has invaded my brain and rraaaaaaaah jjk jjk jjk… 😭 I BLAME U FOR THIS (I love jjk)

First of all, I LOVE THAT LAWYER SORCERER, he seems genuinely cool and he just reminds me of ace attorney tbh, Edgeworth if he was a jjk character FOR REAL

And this panel is also SO CUTE ONG.. YOU WERE RIGHT YES I AGREE WITH THE FACT THAT CHOSO IS THE BEST. Yuji deserves his brothers for realsies, THEY ARE BOTH AWESOME. And I keep seeing stuff saying how Todo VS Choso would go down, but I kinda think Todo would respect Choso (and ask for his workout routine MAHAHAH)

I’m even starting to get MY FRIENDS to watch it. DeterminedFanartist, aka my pookie 4evahs, IS ALSO WATCHING IT RIGHT NOW!!! My irl bruh called Choso “Cheese” and they ALL SIMP OVER GOJO. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY IRLS SIMP OVER GOJO IT IS CRAAZZZYY…

Maki’s power up WAS DESERVED and oh mah lord… I’m on chapter 202 AND KENJAKU WAS MANIPULATING MAH AMERICAN GOVERNMENT IS KENJAKU 2024 REAL?!?!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩 He’d be my president 🫡🫡🫡🇺🇸🇺🇸🏈🏈🏈🌎🌎🔫🔫🔫💪💪💪

About to read chapter 203 and… no… wtf like IT IS ALREADY STARTING OFF LIKE THIS. A “you will die” IN ANY MANGA THAT ISN’T STATED TO THE MAIN CHARACTER IS NOT GOOD NEWS…

Praying… praying right now I know EVERYONE is dying in this series but pllleaaseee GEGE LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING PLEASE PLEASE DON’T TAKE HIIIMMMM PLEASE NO NO NO PPPLLEAASEEE 💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭💔🥺🥺🥺😢😔😔😱😱😢😢😔😔😔😔

Anyways you weren’t lying when you said you were in your inactive arc, hoping you join me back soon DON’T LEAVE ME HERE MICHAEL MICHAEEEEEEELLLL 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I AM ALWAYS RIGHT! MY TASTE IN MEN IS IMPECCABLE! 😈 And yeah you”re SO RIGHT I fucking LOVE Higuruma (Miles edgeworth looking ass.) I don’t know how Gege always cooks so hard when it comes to characters 😩, Yuji’s and Choso’s relationship especially, HE’S THE COOK WHO COOKED UP OTHER COOKS 🙏 And i’m glad my jjk brainrot virus is spreading throughout the utmv/utc or whatever the flippio you call it at this point-

Also my fucking GOAT Maki out here destroying those dumbass sexists is absolute GIRL. BOSS. BEHAVIOR.

Ya better read up, cause in 3 weeks JJK ENDS. actually crazy but it’s true 😭 I miss it already….

Also, another suggestion, if you haven’t watched or read it is Jojo’s bizarre adventure 🤑, outside of part 1 which I dislike and part 3 which was boooooring, part 4 onwards is absolute peak, ESPECIALLY part 7 and 8 (sadly no anime for those yet 😔)

As for my inactive arc, i’ll try to revive more often, because i’ve actually just straight up been DEAD outside of looking at some random notifications I got, ALSO WHAT RLLY PISSES ME OFF IS WHEN I GET A NOTIFICATION ABOUT A SPECIFIC POST AND I CLICK ON IT AND IT JUST TAKES ME TO MY FEED, Like bitch I came to look at a specific post not search up that specific account and go through their posts 😭

As for why i’ve been dead eeehhh it’s mostly just I forgot a bit about Tumblr and started using Discord a whole lot more, not to mention i’m working on utc games 🤑 (Oh fuck, i’m in the money! I love money 🤑)

Now, my final question before I dump my doodles on you…

“Are you brainrotted because you’re 3dogbones, or are you 3dogbones because you’re brainrotted.”

I would post more doodles but there’s a 10 image limit 😭

[iambic-stan]

Concertina

Writing this story was very therapeutic for me. I hope someone else, cardiophile or otherwise, can get some comfort and reassurance out of it, too.

"I'm not policing what you think and dream," was the lyric I fixated on, though it was only the first verse of the song.  Every explanation of the song "Concertina" I'd read contradicted my own interpretation.  Wasn't it mostly a song about feeling bold enough to be strange, even if it was frightening?  There was applause in the bar when I finished, and made me feel like the risk of a new track selection had paid off.  Tori clapped with the most vigor, as she usually does.

"Girl, who sang that one?" she asked, noting that it was different from my usual selections like Stevie Nicks and Pat Benetar.  I stared at her drink, something with pineapple and gin if I recalled, with this hypnotic red-orange-yellow ombre effect.  Without taking my eyes off of it, I said, "It was a Tori Amos song.  Not a big hit or anything though.  You share a name," I said, lightly touching her shoulder, "You should sing something of hers one night."

"Not if the DJ has anything Taylor," she laughed.  It was fair.  Tori loved to sing Taylor Swift at karaoke, just like how she loved to talk about Gaylor theories, analyze her lyrics, speculate about what her various IG and Tumblr posts might foretell, and scour Stubhub and every other possible site for the least-bankrupting concert tickets.  I was just along for the ride, though I had a couple of her albums at home myself.

"Ok, do something from Lover," I suggested.  

"I don't know.  What if all they have is "YNTCD?" she whined, abbreviating Taylor's divisive LGBTQ anthem from 2019, one that I happened to enjoy despite any criticism.  

"I know you like it, and maybe I'm being a terrible Swiftie, but isn't she just trying to hijack our trauma and claim it as hers?  *Unless* she is gay but didn't want to say so explicitly in the song.  It's great that she gave so many queer people screen time.  I didn't even know who Billy Porter was until I saw the video.  But then again, why did she make it about resolving her beef with Katy Perry?  That was so random.  Anyway, I'll see what I can do...for you, Elena."  She ran her hand down my arm and then squeezed my hand for a second.  She's drunk, I thought, but I appreciated the affection.  Her hand was soft and it felt right--sensual without the suggestion of something more.  I wouldn't want anything more.  

Well, that wasn't entirely true.  I had come to feel at home with Tori over the past year--my first close friend since college who also happened to be queer.  I had lingered longer when hugging her, and since she knew I was asexual, I didn't think she ever took anything the "wrong" way.  At home I had a bright magenta stethoscope that sat on my nightstand, waiting.  But since I'd never told Tori that 1) I loved heart sounds, 2) loved using stethoscopes, and 3) wanted to use one with her, my stethoscope could have been waiting for Godot.  I had strongly considered putting her (the stethoscope--named Alex for my love of Wizards of Waverly Place) in the living room so that Tori could just happen to notice her while we were watching a movie.  But I played the conversation out in my head and felt mortified with every possible script I wrote.  Still, whenever I pictured her wearing the binaurals and listening to my heart, I felt like skipping through a field of daisies.  It just seemed like I was struggling with level one of a video game while ravenously reading walkthroughs of the battle with the final boss I might never meet.  Not that it was a game to me--my love of heart sounds was and always had been one of the most important things in my life.  It kept me sane and grounded, and most of all, it was how I felt close to someone I cared about.

I felt a bit of envy as I watched her throw her arm around the DJ, whose adorable curly head of hair and petite stature brought to mind Jorgeous from one of my favorite shows--Rupaul's Drag Race.  But I wasn't jealous that Not-Jorgeous was enjoying Tori's affection; I wished I could have that sort of magnetism that drew everyone to me and put them immediately at ease.  Trauma had prevented me from being so gregarious.  I watched as four more karaoke singers ran up to Tori, happy to see a familiar face (she was there every week) and get their expected hug.  No, I didn't necessarily want that much attention, I realized--I only wanted the confidence and grace to be completely open with her.

When I heard the first few sharp, synth-laden notes, I knew exactly what song it was.  Tori was deadly serious in her delivery and everyone in the bar turned to gaze at this tall, striking woman who would almost look imposing if her face weren't so soft and kind.  "Combat, I'm ready for combat," she sang, and I was shocked that the DJ would have this track from Taylor's Lover album that we could agree on.  In a moment of accountability that Taylor-haters never acknowledge, the singer tells us she's been "the archer" and "the prey," and feared her propensity for causing hurt as well as her own crippling wounds might make her difficult to live with.  As Tori deftly crescendoed her way into the bridge (I had been given numerous lectures on her distinctive bridges), I felt like my heart beat louder as well.  Suddenly embarrassed, I turned away and stepped onto the bar's patio, my long wrap skirt catching a doorknob in my haste.  I pulled it out and turned to look at the wisteria still bright near sundown and the brick water feature with the goldfish.  There was a couple in the corner deep in conversation, voices so hushed I couldn't make out a single word. That was my last drink, I thought, staring at the crescent moon and the smattering of stars I could see in spite of light pollution.  I felt too much; why didn't alcohol make me numb like it did everyone else?

"Hey, did you like it?" I heard her say behind me.  I turned and saw the sheepish grin on her face.

"Oh, it was beautiful!" I exclaimed.  "I was just out here getting some air is all."  

"I was thinking about what you said last week."  She came closer and put her arms around me as she said it.  My head landed near her chest, and I could almost hear something if it weren't for her thick jacket.  I let myself fall into her embrace.  "I think it would be exciting, actually.  I want to do it.  I've never done that with anyone before," she continued.

I racked my brain and tried to remember what she could be talking about, slowly recalling that I'd had 3 cocktails and 2 shots last week.  There were a few portions of my last karaoke night that I didn't recall at all.  "Wait, what are you talking about?"

She looked at me, her eyes crinkled a little.  Gently, she pushed my hair out of my face.  "You're such a silly drunk and you don't remember any of it," she said, shaking her head.  "You surprised the hell out of me by talking about having a stethoscope and wanting to listen to my heartbeat.  And that you wanted me to listen to your heartbeat.  And I was speechless because that seemed like such a weird, random thing to say.  But then I thought about it and I'm really curious now.  None of my girlfriends ever wanted to do something like that.  Not that you're my girlfriend, but a friend who happens to be a girl, anyway.  I'm down."

I breathed in sharply.  How could I have said all of that without realizing what I was divulging?  My heart was really pounding then, and as if she read my mind, she placed her hand on my chest.  "Oh!" she squeaked, surprised.  "Am I embarrassing you?  Please don't feel that way!  I guess I should've thought you might've forgotten, like that time you went on for like 10 minutes about whether Drag Race All Stars is rigged like you were the only person in the room and had zero recollection of it the next day."  Without really thinking, I quickly placed my hand over hers, holding it fast to my chest.  Her hand so near my heart felt just right somehow.  I closed my eyes and only opened them when she pulled away to check her phone.

"Our Uber is on its way.  I told them to go to your apartment.  Is that ok?  Mine is a mess and Savannah has her boyfriend over, anyway.  He always brings that cheap, stinky weed.  Plus, we could watch more Babylon 5.  I want to see if the praying mantis thing is a 'legitimate businessman' ha."

The N'Grath reference made me smile.  "That sounds great," I almost slur, grinning like an idiot.

Mollie, my dachshund, is almost wider than she is long, so it's a struggle for her to make it up to the couch to properly greet Tori when she comes over.  This night was no different.  "She doesn't even eat that much," I said for probably the twentieth time.  "It's like she just has the worst possible metabolism, poor babe."  I stroked under her chin.

The DVD was loaded, and with the confidence that only alcohol could summon in me, I'd stealthily transferred Alex from my bedroom to the coffee table in the living room while Tori was in the bathroom.  When she emerged, she smiled all big and plopped back down on the couch.  My voice boomed in my head when I picked up the stethoscope and said, "This is Alex.  She was named for Alex Russo, you know, when I was younger.  Well, not that much younger.  But still.  Yes, I know it was a kids' show," I say shyly, wondering why I can't shut up.

Tori laughed and picked her up, turning the chestpiece around over and over again to switch from diaphragm to bell, hearing that satisfying click each time.  "She doubles as a fidget toy, I see," she said.  "Oh what's that?" I had to follow her gaze because I was staring at her chest (not her breasts--give me some credit) rising and falling and could barely think of anything else.  She picked up a pill bottle from the coffee table, one that I usually put away when someone is over out of an overabundance of caution. But I hadn't realized we were both coming back here tonight.  "Spiro?" she asked.  "I used to take that, like in my 20s when my acne was a lot worse.  What do you take it for?" she asked innocently.

I looked up at her, struck dumb and wordless.  We both stared in silence for a few seconds too long, and that was when it dawned on me.  Elena, she doesn't know, you moron.  You're about to ask her to do something intimate and she doesn't know.  Does it matter?  Maybe, maybe not.  I sighed.  This was not the way I wanted her to find out.  What if she changed her mind, decided I'm not one of her girl friends after all?  What if she declared this some kind of "trick"?  What if she got mad, felt betrayed, and blabbed all over social media?  What if it got out at work?  This wasn't something to play with, I realized, and it made me feel like I was suffocating suddenly, imagining all the worst case scenarios. They flicked through my brain rapidly, like someone pressing the lever on one of those retro viewfinders at lightning speed, taking in all of the little thumbnails in a blur.  I gasped and then deliberately began to breathe in and out very slowly and evenly.  I grabbed the arm of the couch as if I was falling.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry.  You don't have to answer that.  It's none of my business," she insisted apologetically.  I could tell she was uncomfortable.  I had made her uncomfortable.  But it didn't feel like there was any escaping it now.  The mood had changed dramatically, all thanks to my reaction to her question, and as much as I yearned for her to listen to my heart and had pictured it many times in the last few months, it was pounding because I was terrified.  She put Alex down on the couch, where Mollie reached over to lick her eartips, and took my hand.  "What's wrong?" she whispered.

I looked up at her and it felt like someone else's voice when I choked out, "I'm trans."  Her brow furrowed.  When she didn't respond right away, I added, in a whispered rush, "I grew up a boy.  I mean I'm not one.  I never was.  I thought you knew.  That's what the prescription is for."  I exhaled loudly, then realized I'd been staring at the floor and not facing Tori.  She let my hand go, almost in slow-motion, and she looked at my body as though she was seeing it for the first time.  Oh god, I winced.  Please don't look for masculine things.  

"I'm such an idiot," she finally said, almost inaudibly.  I stared in horror as she said,  "Why didn't I know?!?"  

I felt my mouth go dry.  My voice was hoarse.  "It's not like I wanted everyone to know," I said.  "It's not like I want to lose my job."

"Oh, Elena!" she exclaimed.  "You weren't thinking it would make a difference, were you?"  When I didn't respond, she wrapped her arms tightly around me, and tears flooded my vision.  "You're one of my best friends.  You're my only friend who will go with me to karaoke, for one," she laughed.  "You're the only person besides my mom who listened to me carry on about my undying devotion to Amari, even after the third time she fucking cheated.  Not my finest moment, but that woman had a hold on me."  I inadvertently let out a snort, remembering her beautiful but treacherous ex. 

She kept one arm around me and reached again for Alex.  "She's probably got Mollie slobber on her now," I pointed out.

"Ha, I'm not worried about it," Tori said.  I watched her insert the ear tips, thinking she had a 50/50 chance of putting them in correctly, and she managed it.  There was something transformative about her wearing the binaurals, and it dried my tears to see it.  She was only about ten years my senior, but in that moment I felt like the child I was always meant to be--one who was free to play how I wanted, with whatever toys I wanted, and just be who I was without being called names I didn't even understand.  She was the older, wiser one who could really see me.  I was safe.  She unfastened just the top button of my shirt and I looked at her face as I could feel the coolness of the metal circle on my skin.

A minute passed, then another, and they were brief but filled with knowing that she could hear me so well.  "That's so cool," she said softly.  "It was fast at first and now it's slow and steady.  I kind of feel like...I know you in a new way," she smiled and looked at my face before looking back down at the instrument.  I felt so happy I thought I could cry again.  She moved the chestpiece around--left and right and center, then between my breasts.  "It sounds different in different areas," she observed.  "Like, the first sound is louder in some places and the second is louder in others."

"You're listening near a different valve each time," I whispered, thrilled that she heard those nuances that most ordinary people don't seem attuned to.  She nodded, the look on her face one of wonder.  I breathed along with her for another few minutes while she listened, and it felt like the sort of connection I only dreamed of feeling, knowing that most people don't "get" this.  I felt almost reborn, and completely satiated. 

When it was my turn to listen, I tried to push past my reservations and self-doubt.  "Is it ok if I put this under your shirt?" I asked tentatively, pointing while holding the chestpiece.  

"Girl, yes!" she practically sputtered.  "After all the poking around I just did?  It's only fair," she laughed.

Mollie jumped up to grab and lick my hand as I moved to place the stethoscope on Tori's chest, and we both had to stop what we were doing to laugh.  When I slipped it underneath her blouse, the sound was clear and strong.  She watched my eyes as I breathed in several systoles and diastoles and it made her smile.  First, I listened for the semilunar valves--aortic and pulmonic, then, gaining confidence in what could have been an uncomfortable endeavor, moved downward to listen properly at the atrioventricular valves--tricuspid and mitral.  Tori leaned forward so I could easily access these different auscultation points.  I stayed at each one for awhile, trying to commit this sound to memory in case we never did this again.  When I was finished, she said, "Wow, that was kind of a vulnerable feeling but not in a bad way."

"You sounded so, so beautiful," I told her softly, and was pleased when that display of raw emotions didn't elicit a raised eyebrow.  This wasn't a night I'd forget anytime soon.

Thanks so much for reading! If you're able and would like to, click here to donate to the Trans Lifeline, a hotline that provides life-saving assistance to trans people, staffed by trans people.