#a tear ran down | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

unclearblur · 1 day ago

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You know what I've been thinking about?? Matthew Michael Murdock who's been sexually confident and cocky for years but it all had to start with someone right?? RIGHT??

And you're the girl from college who he lost his virginity to. Who made him a whimpering, shaking mess. It's your pussy that had him crying out in ecstacy. It's your lips on his cock that had his eyes rolling back. It's your soft hands that left him trembling.

His first time with you, with ANYONE, had you teasing him until his hands shook when clasped yours. Had you on your back guiding him into you as he fumbled kissing you. Had you smiling on his lips as he choked on gasps and -

"Oh fuck- oh holy shit you're everywhere"

And Matt. Poor, poor Matt has been obsessed with you ever since.

Your scent around campus drives him wild. Has him hard and leaking in his pants. Has him lifting his head like a starving dog scenting a treat. Has him dazed and stumbling in search of you.

It leads to the two of you coincidentally running into each other often. It leads to study dates late into the night. Of hot chocolate and delirious jokes about your eccentric professors. Hesitant hands stroking wherever they can touch. Whispered confessions over the phone in the dark.

It's soft and sweet and everything either of you could ever want. It's reassuring and grounding and vulnerable.

Matt's never felt this way before. Never rolled over and exposed his soft underbelly like this before. Not until you.

And when your application to your actual Dream University is accepted? And all of your dreams are within reach all you have to do is wait until the end of the semester?

And Matt overhears your plans to move? To leave.him.behind?

Oh Mathew is devastated.

It brings his abandonment issues all rushing back. Of course you're leaving. Of course he's not enough for you to stay.

Why didn't you tell him? Why didn't you tell him you planned on leaving? Were you ever going to tell him?

So Matt self destructs.

He didn't need a soft love. Trembling hands and choked whimpers weren't for him. Soft secrets in the dark under your favorite blankets were just a lie. The taste of hot chocolate in the twilight hours is now bitter and acrid on his tongue.

He breaks things off. Doesn't give you a chance to explain it's an exclusive summer program. A bootcamp really - for all the aspiring professionals to make connections and maybe score internships. Yes there's a chance to transfer to your Dream University but that's not what this program is for.

But you can't get a word in. His voice, always so soft and caring with you, turns dark and growling. He's so angry and hurt, you can't get him to listen to you. Can't get past the walls he's built so high up you don't stand a chance of reaching the other side.

Of reaching him.

So the semester ends and you leave for your summer program brokenhearted. Not understanding what happened for him to switch like this on you.

But your broken heart makes you hyper focus on your program and you astound everyone. You're offered an internship that you couldn't have even dreamed of before this. And the professors at this program and the working professionals offer to write you a recommendation to actually transfer to your Dream University.

And you wonder.

Why not?

What's holding you back at this point? You don't have Matt. Did you ever have Matt, an insidious voice murmurs in your ear. Were you even important to him if he could throw you away so easily? He didn't let you defend yourself, explain and soothe away his hurt and anger to save what you both had together.

Yes. Why the fuck not.

So you accept. And you transfer and you think you move on and before you know it years have gone by. When you look in the mirror there's barely even a hint of the brokenhearted young girl that left for that summer program and never came back.

But you do go back. To New York, that is. And you find yourself near Hell's Kitchen. Your new apartment isn't quite within the boundaries but it's close enough to explore.

Close enough that you hear about the new legal practice that takes on cases no one else will. Nelson & Murdock.

And you think about your friend Foggy, who has been quietly but enthusiastically cheering on your career and your success from afar. Who was sad to see you leave but so fiercely proud of you. And who you've been emailing and texting often enough throughout the years that he's aware you moved back. So you text him to meet him up for dinner.

You spend the dinner catching up with the little odds and ends you don't think to mention over email or text. You laugh over shared memories of goofy professors. You reminisce on concerts and albums. And you resoundly avoid asking about Matthew Michael Murdock.

Foggy is kind enough to not mention him either.

The night runs long and the both of you are decidedly tipsy. You both promise to meet up regularly for dinner or coffee now that you live a lot closer to each other. Foggy tugs on his coat and helps you with yours when you fumble.

Foggy gives you a hug, and you bask in the warmth of a friend. You haven't seen each other in so long but the friendship picks right back up where it left off. He drunkenly rocks you back and forth in front of the restaurant and makes you promise not to be a stranger or he'll show up at your apartment at inopportune times like he used to in college. You laugh helplessly because Foggy really did have a knack for knocking at your dorm room when you least expected it - when you're taking a nap, when you're having a meltdown about your midterms, when you have Matt's cock so deep inside your pussy all you can hear are his hitched breaths and whining praises.

And you go to bed happy to have met up with an old friend from college. You definitely don't think about the boy who's hand shook when he brushed your hair back, or who's smile made your heart beat so fast you didn't notice his smile turn bashful.

What you didn't anticipate, couldn't have known really, was how drunk Foggy got that night. How he completely forgot to put his laundry in the wash, or the dryer. How Foggy woke up so hungover and late for work the next day he grabbed the first articles of clothing that were still clean.

But the only coat that was still acceptability clean was the coat he wore to dinner with you last night. The coat that was soaked with your scent after spending hours at dinner with you. The coat that he gave you that long, friendly hug in.

So when Foggy makes his way to Nelson & Murdock that chilly Monday morning?

Matt feels like he's going insane.

He can smell something in the periphery, something winding it's way closer and closer to his office. It's awoken something in his hind brain, wiggled something to the forefront that he can't quite parse out.

It makes something in him quiver.

It makes his hands shake. His breathing gets a tiny bit more labored. His chest hitches. There's an excess of saliva in his mouth like he's been starving and there's something he can devour nearby.

So when Foggy finally makes his way into the office, grumbling about how he's hungover as he shakes his coat off, Matt can't fucking breathe. His every sense is honed to a knife's edge on Foggy's coat. All he can smell, all he can taste is the scent that's slowly overtaking everything else.

And it all comes flooding back. The whimpers in the dark. Soft, reverent hands tracing over his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. His voice cracking and begging for you, for more, for salvation. The taste of hot chocolate and something uniquely you on his tongue.

The taste of your bitter tears when he left you before you could leave him.

Matt opens his mouth and sends a quick prayer that he doesn't sound as wrecked as he feels. "Good morning Foggy, " he clears his throat. It feels simultaneously clogged and dry which he never thought possible but there are a lot of things he never thought possible before he met you. "What did you get up to last night?"

Foggy's hands pause while he tries to straighten out his paperwork for the day.

Then he starts rambling.

He never says your name. Doesn't even hint at it. But he talks about meeting up with an old friend that he hasn't seen in years. How he's kept in contact through emails and texts but he hasn't had the chance to meet up in person until now.

Matt replies in vaguely interested hums, not enough to show he's caught on but enough to keep Foggy spilling his words. Matt knows he's not being fair because he can still smell all the alcohol Foggy must have drank last night underneath the sharpness of mint from Foggy's toothpaste. But Matt has suddenly realized he's starving and he just can't help it.

Foggy, always excited and proud for his friends, goes on about your accomplishments. About how successful you've been in your field. About your awards and your colleagues that love you.

And there's an ache in Matt's chest because he knew, he knew you'd be great. He always had faith in you. Always knew you'd take the world by storm. But it still hurt that it took you leaving him behind to do it.

But then Foggy starts talking about how in college he squealed on the phone with you about your summer program that started it all. About how the summer-long bootcamp was intense but it's what propelled you onto your path. About how you never intended to stay longer than the summer at your Dream University.

How you made the decision to stay towards the end of your program. Months after Matt had left you confused and crying, trying your hardest to get him to just stop and listen to you. To please stop, that you love him and you didn't want to leave him.

Then why were you leaving him? Why didn't you tell him you were transferring? Going somewhere he couldn't follow?

The sounds of Foggy's voice and the papers shuffling fade out of Matt's concentration. He can't hear anything but the sound of your voice brought back in striking clarity. The sound of your heart beating truth.truth.truth. to everything that you're begging him to listen to.

All he can think about is how close you are to him now but how he feels so much further away. All that confidence and cocksure attitude he's hoarded falls away in the wake of Foggy's revelations.

And Matt's hands shake.

~~~~

Ok I read this blurb from the lovely @jeffbuckleysconvent and I got so inspired because you NEVER SEE VIRGIN, PATHETIC MATT. AND HES SUCH A TREAT SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME.

#matthew michael murdock #Matt Murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #daredevil #ddba #idk where this came from i read a really good blurb about virgin!matt and it exploded out of me #a tear just ran down my leg #i wrote this on my phone #pls bear with me #how do i even tag this #angst

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