#a snotty mean horse??
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finally watched centaurworld s2 and is becky apples malandrewâs mother serious question
#as soon as he was like my mother has been missing for years or whatever#I was like becky apples????????#like if she ran off to the human world and stayed there long enough would she just turn into a horse?#a snotty mean horse??#centaurworld
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Drew Starkey characters
Rafe Cameron
* indicates smut 18+ ONLY
Imagines
One Hell of a Night* (ft Poly!Kook Topper and Kelce)
Itâs strictly platonic between you and the three kook boys to anyone else, but when youâre alone itâs a totally different answer. A daunting game of cat and mouse lands you in an interesting position one Friday night.
Sex Tape* (Cam boy!Rafe AU)
Rafe agrees to let you be in one of his shows on the agreement he gets to make a sex tape with itâŚturns out you like being the slutty star of the show
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy* (Cowboy!Rafe AU)
When you see that Rafe Cameron is looking for new ranch hands, you jump at the opportunity. Youâve heard the rumors about him being a cowboy casanova and plan on keeping it professional, but his blue eyes and thick southern drawl make it harder than you planned
Throat Training*
Rafe really likes training your throat hoping that one day he can use it to his full advantage
Let Me Help* (ft Topper and Kelce)
After hearing what JJ and Pope did to Topper, you decide to join in on the plan for revenge. Turns out you like seeing your boys get mean way more than you thought
Princess*
Rafe likes having your throat full. He also really likes making fun of you for it
Lines*
Rafe does lines off your tits
Blurbs
Rafe gets an idea when he sees your silk sleeping mask and it becomes a new thing for you two*
After care with Rafe
Rafe getting you all worked up and mocking your moans*
Car sex with Rafe*
Rafe gets a handjob after you get your nails done and loves how they look gripping his cock*
Rafe likes when you get off on his thigh*
Overstim! With Rafe*
Sub!Rafe*
Comfort!Rafe
âShh shh baby, I know I knowâ*
Rafe makes sure you know how much he loves you
Angry Rafe using you to get his frustration out*
Rafe spanking you after you tease him all day*
Getting Rafeâs initials tattooed under your tits*
Mean sex with Rafe*
Rafe x Bimbo!Reader*
Rafe punishes you after you make a snotty comment about hisâŚskills*
Giving Rafe road head*
Reassuring Rafe
JJ catching his kook gf giving Rafe road head*
Trophy wife!Reader
Original trophy wife request*
Rafe gets a blowjob while on the phone*
Rafe spoils you at the spa and finds himself roped into a couples massage*
Rafe fucks you on the new guys desk to show him who you belong since he doesnât seem to understand*
Rafe buys you a diamond necklace with his name on it
Rafe takes care of the creepy guy that wonât leave you alone at work when things get physical*
Rafe finds your âtoysâ and uses them against youâŚliterally*
Showering with Rafe quickly turns sexual when he uses the showerhead to his advantage*
Youâre jealous of Rafeâs newest business conquest*
The new guy at work treats you like shit not knowing who your husband is*
Rafe keeps his promise of making you beg after the events of the new guy disrespecting you*
Rafe with a breeding kink*
You get hurt at the office and Rafe panics (AKA hurt/comfort)
Teasing Rafe at a business dinner*
Rafe takes care of you while youâre on your period
Taking care of a coked out Rafe
Poly!Kook!Boys x Kook!Reader
How your relationship with the boys started
You tell Rafe heâs your favorite during sex, a little white lie doesnât hurt anyone*
Growing tired of your bitching when they stop spoiling you for a few days, Rafe teaches you a lesson using his belt*
The boys find out youâve been lying to them about whoâs your favorite and plan their revenge*
The boys handle a pogue that made you uncomfortable. Nobody touches their girl and gets away with it
The boys have a game of who can make you come the most and the hardest, you find out and make your own game*
What the boys do when you take too much coke
The time Topper went too far against your boundaries and your other two boys took care of it (1/2)
The time Topper went too far with claiming you and Rafe got jealous* (2/2)
Pregnancy scare
The boys take care of you after you have a few too many drinks*
The boys doing lines off your body*
Cowboy!Rafe AU
Fluffy/flirty moments with Cowboy!Rafe
You pick flowers for Cowboy!Rafe after a long day at the ranch (blushy and shy Cowboy!Rafe)
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CLOVIS X POSEIDON! READER
Warnings?: Tiny bit of angst but mostly fluff
People can talk A LOT.
You know that because almost immediately after being claimed by Poseidon the entire camp was buzzing with people talking about YOU.
Even as you hid behind the Poseidon cabin you could hear everyones whispers, and you could practically see the fear in their eyes.
you thought after spending years unclaimed In the Hermes cabin people would be happy you got claimed even though a small voice in your head knew why they weren't but they weren't. Instead they all avoided you, friends of over 3 years? gone like the wind.
Your alone, especially since Percy went missing. Annabeth cant even look at you, It hurts.
tears cloud your vision and you sniffle slightly. Maybe somebody can hear you, but behind the Poseidon cabin was somewhere nobody would go.
Crunch
oh you were wrong.
"Sorry, I thought nobody was..sorry." A soft voice flooded your ears, a familiar voice. It was Clovis.
You quickly wiped at your tears and coughed, turning your face away so he couldn't see your red puffy eyes and snotty nose.
"why are you even here,Clovis." it came out harsher then intended, but Clovis didn't mind. he just sat next to you with a soft smile.
"Hey, I heard you got claimed by Poseidon."
A wave of anxiety and anger washed over you, "So what?!" you whipped around to look at him. You knew you didnt look intimidating, nobody could with teary eyes and a wavering voice.
But you couldn't stop yourself from wishing that he'd think you were terrifying and leave you before you got even more attached.
You wished Clovis would just go away, get angry at you, shout, hell angrily fall asleep and dream about hitting you. but he didn't. He let you yell, and wave your arms, and cry out of frustration.
Because as soon as you tired yourself out and sat down again, he'd be there to comfort you.
"Ya'know, even if your a big 3 kid..it doesn't mean anything to me." He began, moving closer to you. Staring at him like he was crazy made him shrink into his oversized orange shirt.
"I know your angry, and tired, and you probably hate me right now but..even with that stupid claim-" he grabbed your hand, and you didn't feel like pulling away for once.
"Your still..you. The same person who laughed at Mr.D once and got 3 weeks punishment of cleaning the horse stables."
you Snickered,and suddenly the tears on your cheek felt numb. he intertwined his fingers with yours, he loved your laugh.
He loved the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, he loves how your always in trouble, he loves you. Not the claim, or your godly parent, you.
But right now he knew that you didn't need to know that. Because right now you needed a friend, living proof that your claim doesn't change anything.
You needed Clovis, your best friend.
and when you needed Clovis, your lover, he'd be there like always.
Idk how many words this is.
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AOT HCS MODERN AU! What pet you guys own
Eren-
he has a dog Iâm not even gonna lie, he comes across as a dog person, he doesnât care what breed but prefers big dogs specifically German shepherds he bought a dog when yâall moved in together and heâs actually really close with the dog, you named the dog bobo you chose the name cuz you thought it would be cute, the dog is very attached to eren
armin-
a cat, an orange tabby cat. Armin comes across as a more calm less crazy person meaning he would want a cat to chill and read with. He named the cat tangerine cuz itâs orange. You bought him the cat for Christmas one year since you didnât know what to get him. Itâs the wholesome moments, when you see him on the couch after work holding the cat, you fall in love all over again with your gentle small ray of sunshine
Jean-
you may think that he has a horse but your very wrong, he has an annoying green parrot that calls you mom, you can simply walk by the change and youâll hear âfood mom?â And you eventually get used to it and get another parrot for them to play together and stop bugging you
connie-
oh you poor unfortunate soul, him and that tortoise. Jk he has a dog still, you poor unfortunate soul, him and that dog do everything together, he has a border collie that joins you two in everything, taking a shower, the dog is at the door, using the bathroom?, the dog is staring into your soul, trying to leave? The dog is following you out the door. The dogs same is bacon cuz the dog loves bacon
Reiner-
Bull dog off the bat, he has a big dog strong like him, they wrestle on the living room floor all the time, go on walks, play fetch, chase little kids- wait- what?! Yeah, they think itâs funny to chase children in the park especially the snotty teenager brats over in the corner doing some not so innocent things, the dog is a female named Presley very energetic and playful but donât expect any unwanted visitors there will be none, middle of the night a robber comes ainât no way that person getting out alive, maybe in a body bag but not alive.
Bertholdt-
a tortoiseshell cat with gold eyes, you guys went to an animal rescue center for your anniversary and he fell in love with this cat, he was begging you until you said yes I mean how could you not?! Heâs batting those pretty green eyes while on his knees with the cat âplease can we get her? Iâll do anything my loveâ it was a yes in that very moment and next thing you knew you were on your way home with a cat named pineapple donât bother asking how that name came across his mind but itâs always nice to see him in one of his weird sleeping positions with pineapple splayed across his chest on her back
Erwin-
a lazy pug named Mr. Thereâs no question just a fat lazy pug that sheds buckets of fur.
Levi-
you begged him to get an animal and he kept saying no until he came home to you having bought one without his permission, he glared and looked pissed until that fat fluffy black cat looked him in the eyes with her emerald ones. He caved in. The cat was named jasmine and he allowed you to keep it because cats are very hygienic and easy to take care of. He hates changing the litter box but will do it for Jasmine. And when he does actually sleep itâs curled up with you and jasmine and absolutely precious, jasmine sits on his lap when heâs doing work and he shares his food with her all of the time strangely enough she loves lettuce, youâll be in the kitchen making salad and sheâll prance over and sit there meowing for lettuce
I hope you guys liked this, please comment your thoughts and send me requests and donât be afraid to give me feedback â¤ď¸â¨
#connie springer#connie x reader#aot x reader#aot headcanons#levi ackerman#levi ackerman x reader#bertholdt x reader#bertholdt hoover#aot x reader fluff#jean x reader#jean kirstein#eren jaeger#eren x reader#reiner braun#reiner x reader#erwin smith#erwin x reader#armin arlert#armin x reader
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Kingdom Pines AU
In a land far away their were two kingdom that hated each other.One of the kingdom was rolled by two twins King Stanley and King StanFord.And Stan adoption his grandchildren, Fords great niece and nephew and go on adventures , were they slay dragons and ride horses. Dipper is in love with a girl with long blonde hair.
If you like the time pirate chapter book you might like this.Also (based on the adoption au make by keleficent and marehami on AO3.It's not associated with the AU but just with a Fantasy coat off paint.And take a lot of Disney Princess movies stuff and Romeo and Juliet,Princess diary's.
Chapter 1. We were the kings and the queens
Once upon a time in the year 1918 off the coast of Middle East this story takes place in early November. It's still autumn, it's colder, the leaves are falling.There were two small kingdoms. One of them was ruled by the The Pines family and the other was ruled by the Northwests, the Northwests richer and their subjects were mean and snotty. So the two kingdoms didn't interact much.
The first kingdom was named Gravity Lands; their castle was gray and blue; it is ruled by two kings who are identical twin brothers. King Stanley wore a red and black robe and a gold crown. He has a girlfriend, an ex wife maybe? named Marilyn .And King Stanford wore a green and light brown robe and a gold crown. He has a husband named Fiddleford.
"How is the disagreement over money the villagers are having what do you think we should do to stop it" Ford asked "well I don't know I was waiting for them to figure it out but I guess I can ask the Committee what they think" Stan answered. The committee is made up Fiddleford and Marilyn ,Soos and his wife Melody.In the children's room were the twins prince Dipper and princess Mabel. They are both recovering from when they sprain their legs they were trying to climb up a tree. And their Grunkles were to busy giving a Press conference bragging and not paying attention.,They're getting better with medication and resting.
They just turned 12 years old, they are the king Stan's grandkids and king Ford's great niece and nephew . The kings are going to adopt them. They were living in the castle because their parents died in the war 3 weeks ago. In their room their beds were on the opposite side of the room,
Dipper's side the walls were blue, his side had books on the shelves. It was a little messy with clothes and toys on the floor.Dipper was on his bed reading on Mabel's side her walls were purple with drawings on the walls. On her bed were stuffed animals, and toys on the floor she was on her bed knitting a blue sweater.Just then Soos came in. He is the royal helper."Hey dudes, it's bath time, who wants to go first?" he told them, "I will'' Mabel went and took her bath. Both Kings were waiting to help her.
And after her bath they both help dry her off and helped her get on her light purple nightgown it has a small red bow tied around her waist, she brushed her teeth then, Stan put her on his lap and he brushed her hair ."Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford thank you guys for helping me, with my bath" "it was our pleasure" Ford put on her socks they love doing this kind of stuff for their daughter it make them feel like parents "don't mention it sweetie, are you excited to maybe ride horses tomorrow" he asks ."Yes I bet you can't ride"
"That it" he tickles her, she giggles he stopped Ford gave her a piggyback ride and put her on bed "alright bed time", Stan tucked her into bed. "Good night daddy"she yawns "good night pumpkin I love you"he kisses her head "I love you good night my dear"Ford kissed her cheek "good night papa" "case your dreams go take on this whole world but to me you'll away be my little girl " they both to her quietly sing and she falls asleep.
Then King Ford came in to talk to Dipper "may I have a word with you" "ok Grunkle Ford''Ford sat down on his bed."I know we didn't have much luck last week trying to find dragons, and then you children got hurt but let's try again when you healed" "I hope we can. I've never seen a dragon up close before, maybe we can look in the forbidden woods'' Dipper suggested ."NO absolutely not you know the rules no going in the woods by yourself and no going to the Northwests, castle "
"It's time for your bath" Ford added seeing how he has dirt on his legs,arms and face a little. and smells like BO and pee "no I don't need a bath" Dipper interested,"everyone else has had their bath you stink you need one badly" Stan told . Dipper gets out of bed and tries to make a run for it Stan closes the door and Ford picks him up and puts him over his shoulder carrying him. "I'm not a bag of potatoes" he grumbles. After his bath the kings both help dry him off. Dipper brushes his teeth Ford helps the sleepy Dipper, put on his pj's. His pj's were green Dipper sits on Ford's lap and he brushed Dipper's hair.He looks at the green brush
"Is this your brush?" Ford asks, " see how the brush has a lot of brown hair ."No it's Mabel's why do girls shed so much" Dipper asks them "I don't know it will be a mystery" Stan picks him up. "It breaks the scientific laws of nature, " Ford told him.
Then Stan carried Dipper and tucked him into bed "good night goober I love you" Stan kissed him on the head "Grunkle Ford do you think we'll find a dragon tomorrow". "Theirs is a possibility come on time to rest I love you"Ford kissed his son on the head he falls asleep.They both quietly sing"the monster gone we on are own but you're daddy here beautiful beautiful beautiful boy".
The Kings looked at both of their babies sleeping happily and soundly the Kings leave and do some work in the Library then they go to bed.Stanley's bedroom is a red and gold color "Hey there babe" Marilyn put her hand on Stan's shoulder they kissed and she helped him up they hold hands and go to bed. Ford's room is gold and green he goes to bed where Fiddleford was waiting.
Chapter 2 Long live all the magic we made
The next day the twins ate breakfast feeling 100% better. Mabel went horseback riding with, ladyWendy she is a servant/friend. Mabel rode a palomino pony named Buttercup Mabel is wearing, a purple dress and her hair was in braids. Wendy road a buckskin named spirit, Wendy was wearing a green dress.Stan came to watch them ride around, in the backyard they raced and jumped over stuff. Then after they get off Mabel sits on the ground, and pets her pony she can talk to all animals. "You like being ridden, you think it gives you a purpose" she talks to buttercup.
"What is she saying," Wendy asked."She said she loved our ride today," Mabel told her. They take care of the horses and head back to the castle, "you did great out there pumpkin" Stan congratulated them. "Thank you it was fun" Waddles squeals and walks, inside "Waddles said he wants a treat" she gives her pig his treat. After Stan and Mabel do some painting together she sits on his lap and they have a lot of fun. "I have a crush" she told him "oh what's their name" "her name is April"."That's great you should talk to her at the party tomorrow how could she not love you sweetie" he replied "thanks I had fun with you daddy" she smiles "Aww I did too" he kisses her on cheek.
Dipper sat on the floor of his closet holding a picture of his mother and sister he misses her so much.And he thinks it's stupid but he wants to be held by his beloved mother he tries to be a man but he started crying a little.Marilyn was waking in the hallway and she heard muffled cries and opened the children room.And finds Dipper crying he looks up at her and hides the picture from her.
She sit down and asks sympathetically "what's the matter kiddo" "I'm ok it's dumb" he sopped wiped his tears.She sees the picture and says "you miss your parents'' he nodes and begin to bawl his eyes out she picks him up and hugs him in her lap.He knows he has the words best dads him and his sister could ask for and they give good hugs .But he thinks about how he misses being hugged by a mother figure she knows she can't replace his mother.But she knows both children need someone like her. She finds it hard to cope with the loss of her son as well. "It's ok buddy you're cool granny Marilyn is here" "thank you" he smiles just then they hear Ford calling for Dipper ."Well you better go" he grabs his bag "you two be careful out there" she told him "we will bye".
Ford,Soos and Dipper walk through the woods to find the dragons, they see gnomes,a bottomless pit ,a couple unicorns and an evil triangle. But no dragons they walked up a hill and they found a cave where the Soos made a lantern. They walked further in the cave and it got very dark. But then they see a huge red sleeping dragon"wow its ginormous" Dipper looks amazed, "this is the coolest thing I've ever seen dude" Soos told them then the dragon wakes up Dipper draws his sword. But then it runs towards him King Ford draws his sword "get behind me boy NOW" Dipper listens. Ford points his sword at it then it flies out of the cave, and into the forbidden forest. And breathes fire."dad that was amazing". "Yea let's go home" Ford said worriedly.
They all eat dinner together in the gold and brown dining room.The bowl and silverware are silver colored for dinner they enjoyed chicken stew with a garden salad. That Soos made for them as the chef.Soos and Melody 6 children eat with their mother.They talk and laugh during dinner.After dinner they clean up and then the Kings call over the children and sit them down and explain. That they have been taking care of them for 3 weeks and they would love it if they could make it official. Mabel read it out loud and translated it from Hebrew into English "the legal guardianship of Catherine Green and Michael Pines' children Mason,Alex, Pines and Mabel, Ariel,Pines
will be gifted if signed by StanFord,Frederick Pines and Stanley,Caren,Pines. The custody agreement will be approved if both parties signed ''.Dipper stated happy crying and Mabel stated too they look at the paperwork it already has the king's signatures on it.The twins joyfully signed and hugged their adopted fathers they are over the moon that their son and daughter. Trust them and love them just like they do and always will. They proudly frame and hang the adoption papers above the fireplace.In the living room so everyone in the Castle can see them.
Then kids had their baths, it's raining outside Mabel sat and watched it she is brushing her hair with a fork she heard another princess did it a lot and it worked. So she decided to give it a shot.She put it down and her cheeks soon looked as wet as it was outside raining .
"Dipper I hope mom and dad will be back from their trip soon" she knew that their parents are dead.They just haven't got the time to reach out write a letter she thinks.It doesn't feel like they are gone it seems like they're on a long trip somewhere where they can't see them can't talk to them. She keeps forgetting that they're not here. That they're not coming home.Tears begin to build up in her eyes and make their way down.
"I wish mom and dad were still here", he walked over and she started crying more he hugged her. "Well I wish they were still alive too" he started to cry a little bit and she hugged him tighter. "I remember when we saw they bodies it WAS SO SCARY " she sobbed "it was HORRIBLE THEY WERE COVERED IN BLOOD AND they were...DEAD " she cries more "and they never coming back Dipper" she was staring to breakdown in tears he hug her and said "I know I want dad and mom too badly But we have Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford,Soos,uncle FiddleFord,granny Maryland and me, people that love us I love you"
Dipper comforted her. "I love you too Dipping sauce"They hug and dry their eyes, and sit there for a bit then the Kings come to tuck them into bed Mabel crawls into bed. Ford took the warm pink blanket and tucked her in "good night, my dear how are you feeling" "I'm tired good night papa I love you" he kissed her on the head and she fell asleep. Dipper crawls into bed Stan takes the blue blanket and tucked him " are you ok Dippy" Stan asks.
"Yeah I'm ok good night Grunkle Stan " Stan rubs Dipper's head softly and he falls asleep "I love you" he whispers "The kings leave "do you think we're doing this right,it's only been 3 weeks since they lost their parents. And we havenât been the best caretakers."Stan asks him. Thinking about the kids playing and falling out of the tree."Well thatâs is true to some extent but I think this is what they would have wanted for the children to be happy and safe". Ford hugs Stan and they go downstairs. They were fun, great uncles but now they need to be the best parents possible "remember when we were that age we were inseparable" Ford asked him "yea seems like only yesterday we would get in a lot of trouble" Stan chuckled.
"I'm surprised we didn't get hurt or worse we have to look out for each other because there was no else too" Ford added. "Remember when we were 12 mom was still alive and we had no cares in the world I miss it" Stan remember being a kid and having no work no kids no worry ."But look at us now I never thought I would have kids of my own even at 55 years old but now we have two wonderful children"
Ford told him.He and Ford didn't always get along as they became teenagers sometimes would argue with each other over dumb things.And also they're father only planned on having one son to take the throne. And he hated Stanley because he was younger and a troublemaker. He emotionally and physically abused him making him feel worthless.The queen would try to stop him but it wouldn't help she patch up and comfort her son after.He wanted StanFord to be king he thought he would make a good king except he despise his sons love for boys.
He also manipulated Ford in to hide all his feelings and told him he was only going to be king because he was born first no one else would trust a freak like him to rule.Both brothers agreed that neither of them wanted to be king alone. And Frederick had been tormenting their lives for years. So when they turned 18 they kicked Frederick out with the help of their mother the queen. It was her kingdom.And he was banished from the kingdom and if he comes back he will be thrown in the dungeon but he Long dead by now."Yup that's for sure I love those kids I would die for them" Stan replied and with that they both went to bed.
Chapter 3 The night you danced like you knew our lives would Never be the same
The next night everyone is getting ready for the ball the entire kingdom is welcome , everybody has washed up and are putting on fancy clothes. Mabel is wearing a light pink and white, with puffy sleeves ball gown. Her hair is wavy with flowers in it, her silver tiara on top. Marilyn finishes helping her put the last flowers in her hair. She also has little glass slipper flats. Dipper is wearing a blue and white shut.And on top of his head is a silver crown, and little black shoes. They had downstairs stairs where they saw Grunkles dressed up. Stan is wearing a black and red shirt.
And a gold crown on top of his gray hair. Ford is wearing a green and white shut. And a gold crown on top of his white and gray hair. "You look great my dear" Ford holds her hand and twirls her around her dress blows around he picks her up and holds her she smiles. "You clean up good when you actually take a bath" Stan teased Dipper Ford chuckles.Dipper sick his tongue out at him.Then all the guests arrive, Fiddleford comes over he is wearing a yellow shut and puts his arm around him and kisses Ford on the lips he blushes.Marilyn holds Stan's hand she is wearing a purple dress her short White hair has a rose in it. Stan kiss her on cheek she smiles.The family mingle with the guests and the kids eat dinner.
Mabel dances with Wendy and Soos the Kings talk to their subjects, Dipper walks over to the punch bull to get a drink. When he sees a girl with very long blonde hair in one big braid. She was in a purple dress "Hi I'm um I am Prince Dipper of Gravity Lands". "Hi I'm princess Pacifica,it's nice to meet you " then they go outside on the balcony. "I've never been to a ball before. I bet my family could hold a better one ""oh really" he said sarcastically "but we never have or at least I've never seen one I'm always locked up in my tower," she admitted."
"Oh why are you locked up in your tower? '' he asks, '' none of your business dork,"she said as he played and fidgeted, with the roses and cuts himself. "AHH '' he yells in pain as she wraps her hair around his cut. And started singing and her hair started glowing he blush and the cut is healed. "Umm thank you" just then the big grand blue clock in the ballroom strikes 8:00 pm "I have to go now my parents will kill me goodbye " she runs off,"wait when will I see you again" he looks for her but she is gone.
After the ball is over the kids are getting ready for bed Dipper looks out the window at the forbidden forest. Mabel walked over to him "hey I just met this handsome boy, his name is John but I also met my crush she's pretty and her name is April and I don't know who I should ask out" "well that tricky umm ask the one you know more out". "Ok thank you I don't see you that much" "umm can I tell you a secret". "Sure bro bro anything"
"Well I talk to this girl and she is cute and super pretty" he giggles. "Oh somebody's in love" she teased "and she has magic hair but she said she has to leave and I think she is in the forbidden forest". "oh but you know daddy and papa won't ,let you go there or if she is a Northwest,". "I know but I got to do something" just then the kings came to put them to bed."Children I have story to tell you" Ford told them he sat on Mabel's bed the kids crawl on it get comfort. Stan sat in a chair beside them "I will tell you the story of Hansel and Gretel, they're twins like you too" he tells the children.
"I think we've heard this story before when we were little" Dipper complains "you can go to bed if you want" Stan remind he "fine". "Start the story already PLEASE" she begs "once upon a time they're where two twins a brother and a sister they live in the woods in a house with their mother and father. Their parents was having a hard time finding food for the children. The children were hungry" "this when they find the house made of candy that's my favorite part" Mabel interruption him. "Not yet... one day they're father had to cut down some wood so Hansel and Gretel sat by the fire and ate one piece of bread then they fell asleep together."Aww we sometimes do that" Mabel said "yea we do" Dipper agreed. "Anyway.. the twins woke up one morning and were playing in the forest and they saw a house made of candy and cake."
"I want to live there and eat the whole thing" Mabel told them "I bet I can help with that" Stan mentioned. Ford starts the story again a little peeved that he keeps getting interrupted "Okay.. Then the children began eating the house. Then the door opened, and an old woman came out. "Ah, my dear children, come here you must come indoors and stay with me, you will be no trouble." So she took them each by the hand, and led them into her little house. And there they found a meal laid out, of milk and pancakes, with sugar, apples, and nuts. After that she showed them two little beds, and Hansel and Grethel laid themselves down on them, and thought they were in heaven.She was downstairs getting ready an oven she used to eat them."
"How could she eat kids, what's wrong with her?" Mabel said upset "yea that's gross" Dipper agreed ."I know she crazy She was getting the oven ready, then Hansel gave her a push, so that she went in , and Grethel shut the iron door upon her, and they both ran away, and left the wicked witch to burn miserably.The twins go home to their mother and father live happily together until the end" Ford finishes the story. "Ok it's bedtime" Stan got Mabel under the blanket he tucked her in and gave her stuff dog Wattles sleeps on her bed. And Stan kisses her goodnight Ford rubs her head softly she falls asleep .Dipper gets into bed Ford tucks him in Ford kisses him goodnight.And Stan rubs his head softly he falls asleep the kings closed the door.
Chapter 4 Promise me this That you'll stand by me forever
The next morning There's a knock at the door Soos answer it a older woman with red hair and formally dressed says "good morning sir my name is Kelly I'm am with the BAPP British administration of proper Princess." "Oh ok just a minute mr. Pines there a teacher lady at the door" "huh...what do you mean Soos" "hello your majesty I'm am with the proper princess administration and we want to help you niece to prepare her for Royal duty's".
" Gotcha....but no we don't need your help so you can just tell your king George that.... " "Stanley what's going on here" Ford interrupt them Mabel run up to them and listens.Stan points at Kelly "She wants to train Mabel to be a better princess" "well I don't know we should think about it and contact you at a later time" Ford jesters for her to leave. " Wait don't go I want to be a proper Princess" "are you sure pumpkin" Stan asked her "yes I do I need to if I'm going rule the kingdom and it could be fun"she replied Kelly said "we start tomorrow 7:00 am" then she left.
Mabel and papa do some kitting she shows him how to kit himself a yellow sweater and he loves it and wears it the rest of the day.Stan went downstairs to get some work done.To Managing the kingdom. Then Ford and her bake some cookies. Fiddleford helps them and she puts a lot in her mouth Ford laughs at his cute daughter. FiddleFord puts the cookies in the jar Ford kisses him on cheek Fiddleford blushed.Then Mabel asks "uncle FiddleFord how did you guys meet" "well honey take a Seat do you want to start darling"FiddleFord asked him.
"I was a young teenager sitting outside under a tree writing I was lonely .I had always wanted to be in a relationship but the person I loved was too shy to talk to me and so was I". "I reckon was too shy to speak to you because you were so handsome" Ford blushed "Aww thank you babe.Anyway if it hadn't been for your daddy we might have never made a move" Stan pushed Ford to talk to him and invited FiddleFord to sit at a little table in the park. For the two of them to fall in love "And bye goalie it worked we had been together for years" FiddleFord looked into his eyes. "I think we will be for years to come right babe" Ford lovingly told him " absolutely darling" they kiss. Meanwhile Dipper sneaks out to the stables
He tells Soos he's going on a quick Trailride "ok dude have fun" Soos was taking care of the horses He rode out to the forbidding forest Dipper was looking around when he saw a tower. He thought this might be it "Pacifica Pacifica let down your hair" he yelled. Then noticed it was locked and he climbed the tower,and when he got to the window he unlocked it.
And out came lots and lots of golden hair. She puts her hair on a bar on top, and slides down "thank you but I don't need help getting down." She brags Dipper grumbles and notices how much hair she has then he slides down. "You have a lot of hair" "I know dork" she says sarcastically "anyway what you want to do now".
They rode around the red yellow and orange woods on a bay appaloosa pony named Dreamer and had a picnic on the grass. "what are your parents names are they as weird as you " she ask "oh umm my parents aren't alive anymore so my great uncles take care of me umm there twins" she got quiet and regretted asking then said "oh I so sorry I wish I knew my parents the king and queen save me when I was two"
"why do they lock you up in your tower" he asks "because they uses my hair and I'm not allowed to leave my mom tell me she much pretty than me that makes me feel upset it hurt when I left my tower that night they were not happy" "oh Pacifica gosh I'm sorry let go back" he doesn't want her to be in even more trouble than she already is. She flipped up his bangs and saw weird dots on his forehead. "What's that, are they zits" "umm it's my birthmark" he bushes "oh so that's why they call you Dipper".
"Yes my real name is Mason"he said embarrassedly "I like Dipper it's unique" "umm thank you" he looked flustered. she moved closer and kissed him on the cheek,"wow you smell nice" he giggled as she bushes at him. Afterwards he returned her to her tower, said goodbye and rode home.They do this for a few weeks without getting caught.
Chapter 5 How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
Kelly getting her things together in the living room to teach Mabel. A giant rulebook,heels, a brush. "Ok dude I'm ready to get this party started" Mabel excitedly yelled "first off a princess should never yell unless there is a frog in her hair" she told her. "I kiss a frog once" she added Kelly Roll her eyes "anyway you should speak well and what on earth are you wearing" she was talking about her faded blue and brown dress. "Oh this is my play dress so I don't get my other dresses dirty I kind of like it"she gave Mabel a White dress to change into.
After that she fix her hair into a giant bun on her head.And some makeup "You put the tiara on" she tells her Mabel dose then it falls on the floor "I'm sorry". Then she has walk in hi heels she takes her first step forward then a few more. "Very good almost there" she fall Face first on ground they move on to tea party " finally something I'm good at" Mabel takes sip of tea and a bite of cupcake "mmm that was good" then she burps loudly. " That was a good one .... I mean Excuse me" she blushes Kelly looks frustrated.
"The most important thing that you must do is to be perfect. That means not yelling,waking to heels correctly,you have to know everything about your kingdom how to run it properly you subject look up they expect you to be calm and in control. And you have be quiet and very feminine. Let's Resume later maybe your have better luck" with that she left.
The next day the kings go to wake up the kids and see that their noses are a little red."Are you ok sweetie" Stan pats her head "AHH-OWOW" Dipper sneezes " Aww you sneezes like a kitten".She coughs every time one sneezes the other coughs, Ford makes a call for some help. Stan puts his hand on her forehead and she warm then he puts his hand on Dipper's forehead and his warm too.Soos comes with a thermometer, medicine, breakfast and tissues.
"Open your mouth please" Ford put the thermometer in Mabel's mouth itâs 108f "look like a fever" .Stan handed Dipper some juice he drank it ,Ford walked over to Dipper bed and took his thermometer. And he had a fever too Stan give Mabel her medicine "here you go pumpkin" she drink it,
"do you want some pancakes"he ask "no"she replied Ford gave Dipper he medicine"drink please"."This is disgusting'' he moans Mabel coughs Dipper sneezes Mabel starts shivering Stan take another blanket and wrappers it around her and rub her and she warm up she smiles at him he softly rub her head Ford opened a window a little bit to let the cool, air in and sick air out then Stan tucked Dipper into bed. "You kids get some sleep '' he said. "Call us if you need anything" Ford says "feel better soon dudes" Soos added.They go downstairs to let them sleep. Later they feed them matzo ball soup and medicine. They go back to sleep, then after dinner they give them their warm baths to help with their colds .That night the Dads go to cheek in on they're children they are sleeping. They look worse than before and paler. Ford feels Mabel's forehead and
she burning up she whimpers "Soos get me a cold washcloth PLEASE and get two just in case ".She starts having chills Ford take her blanket and tucks her in.Stan moves Dipper over to her bed he feels burning hot he looks worriedly at Stan. He puts the cold washcloth on his head Ford tucks him in Dipper close his eyes Ford carefully climbs into their bed and puts Dipper on his lap and runs his 6 fingers through Dipper's hair Stan puts Mabel in his lap and put the wet washcloth on her head Ford looks worriedly at his daughter and holds her hand .Stan rubs her hair softly she gave him a small smile they"then she slept.They stay in the whole night there and watch their babies they both to make sure they are ok they are worried something will go wrong.
They remember the night they were born when they thought something might go wrong.Dipper had a hard time breathing. He was turning blue after he was born. That was the first time he scared them and his parents. But the doctor saved him and after their mother got to hold her newborn twins then Stan held Mabel she wrapped her hand around his finger and Ford held Dipper he grabbed Ford's shirt they then they swapped them and held the other babies were so small and helpless.Just like the children are now they don't have their parents to protect them. But now they have their adopted daddys to take care of them. They are very worried they will lose their babies.
But little by little more medicine,sleep and soup the kids get better. And their dads are right there to take care of them and soon they are no longer sick. And they can get back to doing fun stuff.
Chapter 6 I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
Mabel was in Stan's bed room him and Ford were having a conversation about the Princess training. "Guys I just don't want to do it again because it's not me how a dress or act and it's a pressure on how the kingdom sees me" she told them as she played with her hair. "Well we understand" Ford comforted her "don't ever let anyone ever change you my dear." Stan tells her "Sweetie don't worry about the kingdom you'll have your brother to help you and your already perfect princess to me." She hugs him.
Later the Pines,Soos and Melody ,Wendy and Fiddleford and Marilyn were in the forest Mabel had found unicorns, pegasus and earth ponies. And she was having a lovely conversation over a tea party. The boys didn't mind being at a tea party . Stan and Marilyn sat down next to each other and cuddle a little.Mabel was wearing a yellow ball dress and Wendy was putting a bow in Mabel's hair, her and Wendy were talking about horses,dresses and girl stuff.
Dipper was wearing a dark blue, White suit and brown pants . Later the kids climbed up a small cliff Dipper made it to the top first, Mabel got their last she tried to pull herself up but started falling down, Dipper quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "Thank brother" she said "you're welcome little sister" he teases her "by 5 minutes that's what mom said" she reminds him he smiles.
They could see the top of their dads gray hair and Soos too after they went back to the castle. They sit down on the couch Mabel in Stan's lap he snuggles her and Dipper in Ford's lap he cuddles him "Grunkle Stan who was the king and queen before you guys" she asked.
"Well your great grandma was the queen before us. She was the oldest of 6 sisters. She passed away when you two were born."Stan answered. "Yes I believe she in her early 50s when she passed The passing down of power goes to twins usually.Your father my nephew didn't want to be king"Ford explained
"And he and your mom were in the military so he can't be king" Stan told them. The kids started to feel sad. Their eyes filled with sadness, they remember being in the war zone after they had passed and their bodies bloody lying on the ground with bullet holes in them the kids remember crying and sobbing. The kings were there hugging them. Those first few days were the hardest. It is so tragic that they were only 29 and 30 years old.Ford rubs Dipper's back slowly Stan cuddles Mabel to help her "we sorry if we made you feel sad" Ford looked at both of them. "We know you kids are very sad losing your parents."Stan tries to comfort them "and we know we will never replace your mother and father but we love you so much"Ford added.
"It's okay to cry if you want"Stan reassured them "I want my MOMMY AND DADDY" she sobbed "me too it's not fair if someone was there...maybe " he let the tears fall. "I know it's not Dippy" Stan rubbed Dipper's cheek to comfort his son "I miss daddy would get my flowers" she sniffled "I really miss Mommy she brushed. My hair and she......was caring and there was no one else that could replace her ." Tears build up in her eyes and run down "I WISH SHE WAS HERE " she yelled.
"I I miss......Dadddy a lot he was the only one who understood me if I was there I could've done something" he try to wipe his tears away but they just kept coming "There was nothing you could've done, it's a horrible situation my boy" Ford hugged him but that wasn't helping "why did they have to KILL HER AND NOW SHE GONE" he yelled sobbing in anger . His yelling scared Mabel a little bit and she started crying more . "It's okay sweetie I know they love you I lot I'm sorry you both have to go through this "he let her keep crying to get it.
Out he holds her close and rubs her and because he's trying hard not too breakdown in tears as well.He lost his son and his beloved daughter in law it hurts him as much as it hurts them.But he holds it together for the children ."It really isn't fair I wish no child had to go through this specially you children" Ford comforted and held the crying boy.A few minutes passed .
They both give turns giving the twins kisses on the head and they comfort their babies for a while.And talk about the good things they remember about their parents.The king's know that the hole left by their parents wasn't ever going to be filled.And the children will probably never not be sad and frustrated at the loss. But the best thing to do is to not forget and talk about and work through the pain together as a family.And they take a little nap together Fiddleford see them and take a blanket and tucked them in he runs his hand though Ford's hair lovely Ford smile in his sleep then the kings cuddled and snuggled the children .
Later they receive a letter from the Northwest that they need to come over to their castle immediately to have a meeting. So the Pines got in the pumpkin carriage and rood off.They walked in and sat down in the living room. "Have the children go play in the other room. Well, we talk" Preston told them "and tell Pacifica she is awful at the piano and make her stop playing that horrible noise" Priscilla tells them as the kids went into the ballroom. And they see Pacifica in a pink dress, with her very long hair playing on the piano.She is not the best but she is not bad at it.
"Oh Dipper what are you doing here you didn't tell me you have a sister" "I'm his twin sister my name is Mabel are parents are, talking" ""can we play with you" he ask. "Sure dork lets dance" Pacifica got off the bench and grabbed Dipper's hand. Mabel started playing the piano. She is wearing a yellow dress and a yellow bow in her hair, she started slinging "tale as old as time, true as it can be barely even friends. Then somebody bends unexpectedly" Pacifica and Dipper dance slow and close
"just a little change,small to say the least". She lays her head on his shoulder, he blushes "both a little, scared neither one prepared" he twirls her around "beauty and the beast". Then he kissed her and she blushed when they sat down.The doors few open the parents were arguing "why are we here" Ford asked ���because you're grandson Mason has been dating my daughter"Preston yelled
"And what that's crazy" Stan yelled. "Is that true that you disobeyed us?" Ford asked. "Well yes it is, we've been, hanging out" Dipper admitted ."you went to no the Northwests, castle alone"Stan yelled "there's a reason you don't talk to the king and queen were trying to protect you"Fold told him "I'm sorry I know that was wrong I just started talking to her and I feel bad I want to help her I love her" Dipper apologize . "It was my idea to keep sneaking out so he would stop using my hair" Pacifica told them.
Chapter 7 One day, we will be remembered
Pression angry, stopped over"Pacifica Northwest you are no longer the princess of this kingdom and, you shall no longer exist"Pression yelled. "I wish we never adopted you little rat" Priscilla added.He draws his sword and tries to kill her but Dipper stepped in the way of the sword, and it cut half of her hair and the rest disappeared. But the sword also stabbed Dipper's side, making a small wound.
He tried not to cry but he fell to the ground. Pacifica cried and held him. Everyone ran over Mabel hugged the other side of him, she looked at Stan and Ford she yelled "DADDY,PAPA please don't let him die too" she sobbed "is there a doctor in the castle" Ford yelled. "It's okay daddy here" he ran over to her and rubbed her back "This is all your fault he's hurt"Stan shouted back at Pression Ford took a piece of his shut, and tied it tightly around Dipper's wound.
Worried that he might lose his son he tries to keep Dipper calm and try to think of what else to help "We need to get him some help" Stan said worriedly as he was getting ready to pick him up he already lost his son he wasn't going to lose his grandson either. "Daddy please help me"Dipper started to cry Stan not sure what else to he sang to him "the monster gone we on our own but you're daddy here" Stan held hand and rubbed it gently.Ford joined in "beautiful beautiful beautiful boy" he ran 6 fingers through his hair.
Then Mabel hugged him more and tried to use her magic and love for her brother to heal him. A few minutes later he whispered "hey it doesn't hurt any more". "Oh thank goodness"Pacifca hugged him, Stan removed part of Dipper shut and there's nothing left but a small stair. The kings take Pacifica and the twins home. Dipper's stair felt sore the next couple of days,
Pacifica lives with them. She has her own room near Soos and his wife Melody's room. Her room is purple and enjoys her life. She can't use her magic hair anymore but she loves the new freedom she has. She spends a lot of time with Soos and Melodyâs 6 other children. And he grows a Bond with her.They takes care of her and helps her with schoolwork.They are they're for her when she has a nightmare and comfort her back to sleep.Then Soos and Melody offers to adopt her Pacifica agrees and she gets a loving mom and dad .
Pacifica talks with Wendy and plays games with Mabel and Dipper. She never had the chance to be a kid but she has never been happier.Dipper and her do still love each other but now they'll never be separated.They can't wait until they are older and how much stronger their relationship will be.
Stan and Ford helped the children with school and taught them how to run the Kingdom a little bit. They also try to make every day fun for their children and let them enjoy being kids for as long as possible.They all celebrate their first Hanukkah as a family and they enjoy it very much.And the fathers try to keep twins from getting hurt physically and mentally they try their hardest.Mabel asks out the girl she likes and they date from a few months. But they release that feeling that is different now and they are growing in different ways and they decide to break up.Mabel takes a break and makes some new friends. Discover a new hobby.Then when she is a little bit older she tries again with a sweet boy named Charlie.
Dipper and Pacifica grow closer. Stan and Ford try their best to raise their son and daughter. They do a pretty good job. They have help from Fiddleford ,Maryland. They feel happy they were chosen to take care of the children. They feel glad they saved that girl from her abusive parents. And no matter what they would always have each other as a family.The boys have a handful raising two teenagers it's hard sometimes and the fathers don't agree with the kids.But the twins love their fathers they are the best parents they could've asked for.
And when they were all grown up, they had children of their own Dipper and Pacifica had fraternal blonde hair twins one boy one girl .Mabel marries Charlie and they adopted siblings one with black hair and one with dark red hair a 7 years old boy and a little baby boy.Together and all 4 of them ruled the kingdom together.The End.
#gravity falls#dipper and mabel#artists on tumblr#pines twins#stan pines#gravity falls fanart#mabel pines#gravity falls fandom#dipper pines#ford pines#fanfiction#fanfic#my art#grunkle stan#gravity falls fanfiction#archive of our own#dipper x pacifica#dippifica#ford x fiddleford#Sweet fanfic#dipifica#pacific northwest#pacifica x dipper#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford x stanford#the book of bill cipher
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I wonder what would happen if the Chain had not only Twilightâs Epona but also Warriorsâ Epona? I mean, I know I havenât finished Hyrule Warriors yet but I can imagine that a war horse of Eponaâs size would be slightly terrifying to enemies. I definitely imagine Epona crushing enemies and traitors alike underneath her hooves and probably enjoying it when it was traitors that tried to hurt Warriors. It also helps that Epona is most likely a small Shire horse which is one of the tallest horse breeds.
I can also imagine Warriors spoiling her to high heaven after battles were done. Like once the battle was over and they were safe, Warriors starts pampering her. If he wasnât injured himself, he would clean the blood and guts off of her and make sure she is ready for next battle. Gives her extra treats when he can. Plus other things that horse owners do because I donât own a horse.
After the war, Iâm sure Warriors started spoiling her even more. That girl is spoiled but not afraid of kicking anyone who deserves it. Snotty nobles? Deserve it. Women and men who were told no? Totally deserved it. Cia? Definitely deserved it and probably more. ďżźLegend? OK maybe she shouldnât have kicked him but she doesnât like the âpretty boyâ nickname and comments.
All and all? I need more war horse Epona!
#linked universe#lu warriors#hyrule warriors#lu epona#loz epona#Warriorsâ Epona is a war horse#how has anyone not explored with that?#Epona has definitely crushed skulls like a watermelon
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New Chapter! The Foreverlost (A Wolfstar BotW AU)
Chapter 3: Locked Momentos
âRon, youâre doing it wrong .â
âAlright, letâs see you try it then if youâre so good at everything .â
Remus closed his eyes tightly, trying to focus on tightening the saddle and situating his bags. Hope, his newly gifted horse, turned her head around to nudge at his side and he ran a hand along her mane trying to drown out their talking. He sighed deeply and returned to fussing with the packs.
â Potter , stop touching me.â
âIâm not touching you.â
âYes you are!â
âNo, Iâm no-â
His knuckles were turning white where he was gripping another strap. He tried counting his breaths, but the bickering behind him only grew louder. âYouâre the hero of time,â he mumbled to himself. âYou canât kill the younglings. You canât kill the younglings. Heroes donât kill younglings. Itâs not a very heroic thing to do.â
âYou know we can hear you, right,â Dracoâs snotty voice drawled out.
Remus paused what he was doing and turned around on his heels, widening his eyes as big as he could. He let out a loud, exaggerated gasp as if it was the most shocking thing he had ever heard. â What ?!â
âYouâre such a dick,â Ron said, rolling his eyes. âI donât understand why he has to ride with us anyways.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean, Weasel?â
âYou literally have wings! You donât need a horse!â
âJust because you have no useful abilities-â
Before another round of childish arguing could ensue, Remus flung himself up into Hopeâs saddle and maneuvered her around so she stood in the middle of them all.
âGet on your fucking horses and shut your mouths for five blessed minutes, I am begging of you !â
The four of them all looked at him with owlish eyes, obviously surprised by his outburst. Harry was the one brave enough to follow after him with a quietly mumbled â Yes sir .âÂ
Not bothering to look back to ensure they were following, Remus nudged Hope forward towards the other end of the Hogsmeade Pass. He didnât have to worry about it anyways because not even five minutes later he could hear the foursome already biggering amongst themselves once more as they trailed him. But at least now they were doing so in whispers.
Remus looked up at the sky, an eyebrow raised as if to show the goddesses just how unfunny he found this whole thing. As they finally emerged from the narrow confines of the Hogsmeade Pass, the land of Hogwarts unfurled around them in all its breathtaking glory. Verdant meadows carpeted the rolling hills, dotted with wildflowers that swayed gently in the breeze. Towering trees stood tall, their lush canopies casting dappled shadows upon the earth below.
Remus couldn't help but feel a pang of astonishment at the sight before him. It was as if he were seeing Hogwarts for the first time once again, his memories of the land he had once known so well now rendered as mere shadows in comparison to the vibrant reality spread out before him.
The brilliance of the landscape, illuminated by the golden rays of the sun, was almost startling, just as it had been when he had exited the cave. The contrast between the darkness of his memories and the radiant beauty of the present struck him deeply, stirring a deep longing within his soul.
Lost in his thoughts, Remus gazed out over the land, his eyes tracing the contours of the familiar yet changed landscape. Ignoring the distant bickering of the four champions behind him, his mind became shrouded in a grief that seemed to blanket him like a heavy fog.Â
Diagon, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts . The very names whispered through his memories, conjuring images of days gone by, of journeys taken along roads he knew as intimately as the lines on his own palm. But now, as he stood upon this once-familiar terrain, he realized just how vastly different everything appeared.
A century. Honestly, it was a mere blink of an eye in the grand tapestry of time- especially when one is apparently connected to destiny . Yet it was that same blink of time that had wrought an immense impact upon the kingdom. Nature had reclaimed much of what had once been tamed and cultivated, weaving its wild tendrils through the remnants of civilization.
Where once there were bustling villages and cultivated fields dotted everywhere across the land, now there lay untamed wilderness, reclaiming its rightful place in the cycle of life. Trees stood tall and proud, their branches reaching towards the heavens, while foliage carpeted the earth, reclaiming the wilderness that had once been driven out.
Remus felt a pang of sadness wash over him as he beheld the changes wrought by the passage of time. The land he had known so well had become a stranger to him, its familiar landmarks obscured by the march of nature's relentless advance. Heâd thought he would find comfort, despite his gaping memories, in at least the familiarity of this land, but even that had been lost to him.
âDo you need guidance,â a soft voice spoke to him.
Remus startled, his head snapping around to find Hermione watching him thoughtfully. Her dark eyes were scrutinizing, but soft. Like she could read his thoughts as easily as a book and she understood.
âOh,â he said, clearing his throat. âI suppose I didnât consider how different everything was going to look. I never really needed to think about where I was going before.â
â The map , Moony.â
Eyes flickering up, Remus could have sworn he heard Prince Siriusâs voice again. Barely a murmur, like it had been carried on the breeze, but still full of the same exasperation. He looked around at the other champions, but Hermione was still only looking at him while Ron and Harry were messing around with their weapons. None of them seemed to have heard the Princeâs voice.
âPerhaps Draco could fly ahead for us and guide the way?â
âAbsolutely not,â Malfoy snapped. âIâm not a pet to be ordered about.â
âEnough,â Remus groaned, already seeing the way Ron was opening his mouth again to quip back. âNo need to get worked up, Malfoy. Iâve got a map.â
Pulling the map from his bag, Remus held it out and watched as the ink began to bloom just as it had before across the parchment. Opening up the first few folds, he marveled as the same wild landscape of Hogwarts began to bleed across the page out in black and grey. At least on paper, much of the land actually seemed to be the same. There werenât as many markings for stables, villages or shops, but the true core of Hogwarts was similar enough to what Remus remembered. As the last of the Gringotts Mountains were drawn into existence, a red line was trickling its way back down the map and stopping just shy of Hogsmeade.
âWell, thatâs convenient, eh,â Ron said, whistling through his teeth as he peered over Remusâs shoulder. âWhereâd you get something like that?â
âUh, Iâm not sureâŚâ Remus mumbled, watching as a tiny crescent moon was blotted right over top of where they stood. âI think⌠I think the prince left it for meâŚâ
His voice trailed off as he tilted the map one way and another, unfolding further parts of the pages and watching the ways that it grew and expanded. It brought him a startling amount of comfort for just a map. But watching the familiar rivers and mountains, the unchanged valleys and few recognizable town names all be laid out before him brought a sigh of relief- despite all that had changed and all that he was still missing, he had the map and the map would lead him true.
Looking towards the north a bit, he wondered if the prince knew just how much he needed this. The castle wasnât visible from here and he hadnât seen that little spark of light amongst the malice since heâd left the Plateau but he hoped the prince could feel his gratefulness, or that he somehow could see.
Read from the beginning here
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Baggage - Chapter Two
An Apple A Day
Fic Masterlist
Thereâs still a child at the manor and Gisbourne is being driven insane.
*Itâs going to be hard to melt this heart, so he is still going to be dickish for a while.
Guy woke with the dawn, less grumpy than he had been the night before. Locksley always had that effect on him, every step away from Nottingham made his breath come easier and his shoulders lighter. For a moment, as the sun started to peek through the wooden shutters on his window, he imagined how he might feel if he was far, far away from Vaisey and his machinations. It was a nice idea, he thought bitterly as he rose, tugging on a black tunic and pants that werenât made from leather. He fucking hated the leather, it was hot, unforgiving and made him stink to high heaven, but he had an image to uphold and that was as black as the uniform he wore.
The stable was his favorite place in the early hours. No-one else was around, they knew better when he was in residence, and he could busy himself with physical labor to help ease the rage that burned inside of him constantly. Maybe one day, the guilt would ease too.
The morning sun was high in the sky before Guy took a break for water. It was January, but all the lifting and shoveling had him dripping with sweat and he reached down to pull off his shirt, stopping abruptly when he realized that he wasnât alone. Sitting up on the wooden railing, staring at him silently, was the little girl. With an audible groan he pulled his shirt back down and glared at her for invading his quiet time.
She held out a jug of water and he took it with a snarl, drinking deeply before handing it back. The fact that she didnât back down from his stare was surprising. Most grown men usually cowered in the face of it. He took her in for a moment, a tiny little thing, not that he had any experience with children and nothing to compare her with. He disliked children intensely as a general rule, with their snotty noses and constant whining. Why anyone would choose to procreate outside of inheritance was beyond him. That was why he had been so angry at Annie for allowing herself to get with child. He still wasnât sure he was the childâs father, assuaging some of the shame he felt at using the babe to bait Robin Hood.
âWhy are you still here?â he snapped, tying his horse to the railing so he could groom him.
She shrugged and continued staring, her wide eyes making him feel very exposed and uncomfortable.
âMiss Agnes said I had to fetch you for breakfast.â
âYou can tell Miss Agnes That Iâm busy.â
âShe said I wasnât to come back for my own breakfast unless I brought you.â
Of course she did, he thought. Well it would serve her right if he let the brat go without breakfast. He wasnât a damn charity. He honestly didnât care. But the child just sat there, staring, her stomach rumbling loudly, the noise driving him mad. His private time was apparently over for the day. Handing the brush to a stable hand he left instructions and then started his stalk up to the manor. The girl remained where she was until he stopped and turned around.
âWell?â he gestured toward the house and started walking again, ignoring her when she ran past him and into the house.
She was out of sight when he entered, most likely in the kitchen, and he was glad of it. He sat in front of the fire, plate on his lap as he ate, remembering a long time ago when heâd had many days with no breakfast and shuddered. That was why he held on so tightly to anything he gained now, and why he was prepared to be so ruthless to get it. He would never be weak again, never starve in the streets again.
âCan I take your plate?â Agnes was beside him, a look he recognized from his childhood on her face.
He handed it over and waved her away.
âWait!â
âYes, milord?â
âThe child. What have you learned?â
âYou mean is she a spy?â He looked at her in surprise. âIâm not an idiot ye know.â
He narrowed his eyes at her.
âSheâs only seven years old, Sir.â Agnes bristled under his stare. âSays er nameâs Daisy, motherâs dead.â
âThatâs it?â
âShe helped make bread this mornin. Went on an on bout ow she had to work to pay back yer kindness.â
Kindness? There was nothing kind about him, how dare she think this was kindness? The thing was only there so he could establish who had sent her to spy on him, that was it. He couldnât wait to get the baggage out of his home.
âNot kindness,â he growled.
âAgnes started to say something and he leveled her with a glare. Wisely she turned and left him alone. Now that was taken care of for now, Guy went back out to the stable to his horse, snarling at anyone he encountered until they all cleared out and left him alone. He started to comb the horseâs tail, ridding him of the twigs and burrs heâd picked up riding through Sherwood. He was deep in his thoughts and when he stood up to see the girl sitting on the rail again, swinging her legs, he actually started.
âWhat the hell are you doing there?â he took satisfaction in watching her flinch under his dark tone.
âI wanted to give the horse an apple.â she offered timidly.
âThen give it and go away.â Guy snapped.
He went back to his work, ignoring the giggle he heard as the apple was crunched in his horseâs mouth.
âWhatâs his name?â
âHades.â he muttered automatically, not even looking up.
âThe God of the Underworld?â He grunted, wondering how in the hell she knew that.
âHow do you know about that sort of thing?â
âMy mama used to tell me stories.â
He didnât know of even a single peasant who even knew the Greeks existed. There was silence for a few moments and Guy thought maybe the girl was gone, he hoped she was.
âHow many horses do you have?â
He never had been lucky.
âFive.â
âWhat are their names?â
âZeus, Athena, Apollo, Hades and Artemis.â
âAre they all black?â
âNo.â
âWhat colors are they?â
âWhy do you want to know?â
âI just do.â
Guy huffed, his irritation growing with every impertinent question. He quickly finished with Zeus and led him to the pasture to graze, the brat followed him.
âDo you ride all of them?â she was literally walking in his footsteps, trotting along behind him wherever he went.
âI do.â
âDoes anyone else ride them?â
Marian had, he thought bitterly. He had gifted her Artemis and for that moment in time his heart had felt light as she smiled at him. She had looked beautiful riding in the sun. After, after he had made sure to take the horse back, and it had given him great satisfaction.
âNo.â And he had sworn that no-one ever would.
âOh. Thatâs a shame.â
He didnât respond.
âDo you have a lot of soldiers?â
Guy rolled his eyes, about ready to pick her up and throw her out to the road and on her way. God, children were annoying.
âNone of your damn business.â
âWhat about a wife? Do you have one?â
âDoes it look like I have one?â
âYou should get one so you wonât be so cranky.â
The bloody audacity. He had killed men for less than this. Guy whirled around to see her barely a body length behind him looking at him with huge green eyes. An unruly mop of curly red hair fell around her face and she looked to be completely guileless. But he had thought Marian looked the same, once upon a time.
âMaybe Iâm cranky because you wonât leave me alone. I did not invite you to be here nor have I decided what to do with you. Iâm leaning toward sending you on your merry way.â Guy hissed, sneering spitefully when her eyes widened in fear. Then she stood up taller and stuck out her chin, looking him right in the eyes.
âYou are mean!â
âSo?â he shrugged, turning around and continuing his walk across the grounds. He was completely unaware of the peasants who had stopped to watch the unlikely spectacle of Sir Guy being âtormentedâ by this slip of a girl and not flying into a murderous rage.
âYou should be nice to people.â
âI donât need to be nice.â
âWould you let me ride one of your horses?â
What? Guy was confused for a moment at the abrupt change in topic.
âAbsolutely not.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause you wonât be here long enough.â
âBut what if I am?â
âYou wonât be.â In fact he would be throwing her back to the street the moment he got to the manor.
âBut say I was. Would you let me ride one?â
âNo!â he roared.
âWell can I give them apples?â
She just would not give up her incessant questioning. They had reached the manor now and he ignored her last question, instead stepping inside, the baggage following behind him. He strode purposefully to the kitchen where Agnes had already been informed as to the current state of affairs. She was barely concealing her laughter as the Master of the Manor can stomping in with the tiny girl hot on his heels. He was clearly fuming and looked like he could explode at any moment.
âMilord, what brings ye to the kitchen?â
âI told you to do something with this and yet she is outside bothering me.â he snarled.
âSorry milord, children have a way of getting away from ye sometimes.â
âMake sure it doesnât happen again, put the wretch to work.â
Guy stormed off leaving Agnes and Daisy to make dinner. As soon as he was out of earshot Agnes let her laughter free and shook her head. This was going to be good.
Up stairs, Guy changed back into his leathers, his demeanor becoming darker with every lace tied, every buckle fastened. He had left Nottingham without Vaiseyâs permission and if he didnât get back then his personal hell would be made even worse. The Sheriff was extra nasty whenever Guy went against his wishes and no doubt there would be a dire punishment for this latest infraction.
If he had a family, Vaisey would have had to allow him to leave the castle more often, though he would simply be exchanging one nagging pain in his arse for another. This way would have to do, a family would only hold him back from his true goals. He knew now that Marian would have held him back, always wanting or needing something from him, except of course his attention, his affection or his body. Those things would have been thrown back at him with spite while she stole away into the woods to meet her lover. No. He didnât want a wife, and having one wouldnât make him a nicer man, either.
He scoffed to himself as he grabbed his scabbard and sword, fastening the leather around his hips with a heavy sigh. What he obviously needed was a trip to the brothel so he could let off some steam. While he was seriously courting Marian he hadnât wanted to - all he had wanted was her. Since coming home from the Holy Land he just hadnât cared enough to bother with the whole business. A man could only go so long, he thought, and had he married Marian he would probably still be waiting. She never would have let him have her willingly and he would never force a woman.
As he had told the girl, he wasnât a monster.
Downstairs, he made sure the servants knew that he would be gone for several days and looked around with a sigh. He wanted his own lands, his own manor, not something he only gained by forfeit. Had Locksley really been his, he would be the Earl of Huntingdon by now and mostly free of the Sheriffâs grasp. Knowing that, the devious bastard dangled that little morsel right in front of him, and yanked it away any time Guy came close. He was, in the end, he was nothing more than a puppet on Vaiseyâs string.
The kitchen was empty, save for the little girl who sat on a stool watching a bowl of bread dough rise. She jumped up at the sight of him, executing a wobbly and pathetic attempt at a curtsey. He silently packed some food for himself as he would make sure he arrived in Nottingham after dinner. The kid watched him as he packed bread, cheese and a pie, along with several apples. He stopped and looked at her for a moment, knowing he had to send her back to the road where she belonged.
âLetâs go.â he snapped.
The child looked crestfallen and he pushed down the twinge he felt where his heart used to be. He waited long enough for her to grab her little satchel before turning on his heel and expecting her to follow. He let her walk behind him all the way down to the stables, ignoring her little sighs and sniffles. She was lucky to have new clothes and a pair of shoes, a full belly and he saw no reason for her to still be there. No-one had ever helped him when his parents were gone and heâd survived well-enough. As far as he was concerned she either did or she didnât, it didnât matter to him either way.
He saddled Hades while she stood with her head down, body trembling, waiting for him to give her her marching orders. When Guy was sure the bags were secure and the animal ready, he mounted, easily settling into the saddle as though he had been born there. Without a conscious thought he reached back and drew out the apples, holding them out to the girl.
âOne a day, no more.â He said tersely as she took them from his hands.
She nodded to show she understood and he nudged Zeus into movement, barely missing her as he galloped away from the manor and onto the road back to Nottingham without a backward glance.
#richard armitage#richard armitage fanfiction#bbc robin hood#Sir Guy of Gisborne#guy of gisborne#he's totally a dick#but I just love him so much
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Hi! I FINALLY got the chance to play the latest update to "Crown of Exile" and I just HAD to tell you how much I enjoyed the story thus far! The way you offer a variety of responses to all the different circumstances (both plot-wise and emotionally) never fails to amaze me. Not only that, but the way you weave world-building into the progression of the plot always feels so organic and natural. It makes total sense MC would want to learn more about X or Y at that particular moment in the story or reflect on Z after a character told them this/that. My MC is absolutely, totally, 100% pursuing Prince Irus. He is so... dreamy. <33333 And what I really, really appreciate about Irus as a character and the Irus/MC ship is that it's so mutual between them in every sense of the word. It's a give-and-take. There are times when MC steps in to rescue Irus and times when he steps in on MC's behalf. Clearly, Irus draws strength from MC and I think I'm seeing hints that MC is slowly learning to view Irus in that same manner. (Also, as a total hurt/comfort addict, I very much love seeing how the story allows for those moments to be shown in the text, rather than just brushed away or ignored.) No matter what, I'm pumped to discover what happens next in the story and to . Thank you so much for sharing this incredible story with us all. Happy to have the chance to support you and your wonderful project!
Also, Crown the Horse is still amazing. And I love him.
Have a wonderful day/night!
Thank you so much for taking the time to play! I'm really grateful for your support đđź
It means a lot that the choices offered feel organic. This is my first proper IF game and while I've played a ton of IF games for a long time, I've never written one before so it's always nerve-wracking when I offer options because I wonder if it's needed or if there aren't enough choices provided.
I really am bad at world-building so it's really satisfying to know you found the way everything is explained natural. I did my best to keep things simple and not overwhelm people with too much facts and essentially, I've made up everything so there's always doubt in the back of my mind that nothing I've created makes much sense đ
I do love the dynamic with Irus and the MC too and I'm really happy that you're enjoying his route as much as I love writing it đ I think a lot of people expected some snotty, spoilt prince route but that was never my intention. I enjoy romances where it's not about angst, but building each other up and supporting each other.
Thank you very much for your lovely words of support and encouragement đđ I cannot say this enough, but it really puts a smile on my face to know that there are players like you who enjoy my writing and what I've created. It means the world to me so thank you đđ
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YOTO: July
Leonie/Bernadetta. Stars/friends to enemies to lovers.
The first time Bernadetta spots Leonie out by the little fishing lake is after Jeralt dies.Â
She sits on the edge of the dock, with her naked toes just grazing the surface to barely kiss the water.Â
Bernadetta originally snuck out of her room to snag some cake from the mess hall. But as she was creeping along the path, humming to herself, she heard a sniffle, then a sigh and saw Leonie seated there at the dock.Â
Bernadetta doesnât talk to her, just observes her from her perfect little hiding spot outside Petraâs room. The shadows shield her enough from Leonieâs view. Itâs been raining for the last few days so the air is very humid and thereâs little relief; but the sky has opened up and thereâs only wispy remnants of storm colours.Â
Bernadetta has never seen the stars shine so brightly. Varley is an arid region, but the skies are mostly covered by smoke from the factories that produce their weapons. Swords and scriptures, thatâs what her people are known for.Â
She wants to open her mouth to ask if Leonieâs okay, because Bernadetta concerned and Leonie is Leonie. Sheâs like a hornet, strong, fast, zippy. Once, when she was sitting in on a lancing lecture to pass a horse backing riding examâmandatory as she skipped so many of her assigned shifts in the stablesâLeonie got hit several times by Dimitri of all people and did nothing more than stagger back and yell at him âagainâ. She even went as far as to taunt him, asking âis that all you got?â
Something inside Bernadettaâprobably her anxietyâtells her that this is treacherous.Â
Maybe Leonie doesnât want visitors? Maybe she came out here for peace and air?Â
Before she knows it, sheâs calling out her name softly. âLeonie? Are you⌠um⌠okay?â
Thereâs a distinctly snotty sound and then Leonie vehemently insisting sheâs alright, sheâs okay in a salty, tear-streaked voice that insists sheâs not okay.Â
Bernadetta stands in the dark night and says, âI donât⌠um⌠know what youâre going through but uh⌠M-Maybe cake would help?â
âCake?âÂ
Bernadetta feels stupid. âYe-Yeah. Cake always makes me feel a little better. And watching the stars.â
Leonie pauses.Â
âI-I was just going to go watch some. B-But maybe we could. Um. Watch the stars together?â
âThat sounds good.â Leonieâs voice is small.Â
Bernadetta hurries and gets two slabs of cakeâeating a bit of hers on the walk backâsome stale cookies and thermos of tea to bring back to Leonie. She settles in beside her, but not to close and pushes the cake and cookies closer to her. Leonie finds it in her to laugh, and says âYou can come closer, Bernadetta, Iâm just crying, not sick.â
Bernadetta sheepishly slides closer along the dock. Panic rises inside her but it feels different this time. She fights back and tells it that it will not best her. âA-Are you okay?â Then admonishes herself. âS-Stupid Bernie, of course youâre not okayâŚâ
âNo, donât worry.â Leonie runs a hand over her face, pushing back her bangs. âIâm just missing Jeralt. Captain⌠Captain Jeralt.â
âOh.â
âHe was sorta like a dad to me.â Leonie confesses softly, then mutters, âbut I guess you figured that out already.â
âSorta, yeah.â
Thereâs a silence between the two of them for a moment before Bernadetta squeezes her eyes shut tight and says, âI called Alois âDadâ by accident.â
Leonieâs brow furrows and she sputters out a little choked laugh thatâs obviously half-forced, half-genuine. âDo I wanna know?â
âUm⌠my father⌠He isnât good to me.â Sheâs careful with her words, for she thinks that theyâll get back to him somehow. âAlois reminded me of my uncle, Francois. I always felt comfortable around him⌠I called him father a few times.â
Leonie looks at her like she understands what Bernadetta means. Her hand clasps over Bernadettaâs and for onceâand at the perfect timeâBernadetta doesnât flinch. âMy old man wasnât good to me either. Jeralt was.â
âWeâre lucky to have them⌠Arenât we?â Bernadetta asks.Â
Leonieâs voice cracks again. âYeah. We are.â
âStars are pretty tonight.â Bernadetta says.Â
Leonie nods. âYeah. They are.âÂ
â
Leonie is dragging Bernadetta back to her horse. Well, not dragging, but leading her back with her hand in Bernadettaâs. Itâs late at night, after lights out. Leonie insists that sheâs found the perfect spot to stargaze and when Leonie is right, she is right.Â
Bernadetta is shy and nervous and demure and ladylike. When Leonie told her of the plan during the lecture on tactics during battle, Bernadettaâs eyes sparkled in wonder and she murmured in curiosity if it was the same spot that Caspar took her to. She brought a little fabric knot of snacksâstolen hard cheese and breadâand her sketchbook with some thick charcoals.Â
âW-Would you let me draw you?â Bernadetta asks nervously. Leonie canât help but think she looks pretty with that crimson blush and wide eyes. In the back of her mind, she wishes that Bernadetta was a little braver, not for Leonie but for herself.Â
âIâve never had someone draw me.â Leonie muses. âSo yeah, of course.â
The horse is tied up beneath a tree and Leonie half expects to be posed like an elegant ladyâin the back of her mind, she wishes that Bernadetta does that, fluffing up her messy hair, lacing her hands in her lap, tilting her chin up while murmuring ânow look at meâ. But her hair is short and her face is round and her clothes are mismatched compared to Bernadettaâs pretty eyelet nightgown and the little sweater over top of it.Â
Bernadetta is on her feet and pulls her up, sheâs much stronger than Leonie expected. She drags Leonie next to the horse and then instructs her to braid its mane. âOr whatever you do around them. Just act natural.â Bernadetta insists. Her voice is giddy. âLike youâre just in the stables.âÂ
Leonie does so, but itâs hard to act natural when Bernadettaâs big eyes are focused on her. But theyâre not focused on her per se; theyâre focused on a spot next to her, in a space that isnât hers. Does that make sense?
In a half hour, Bernadetta has a sketch and is showing Leonie it as they eat stolen cheese and bread and gaze at the stars. âI-Itâs not even my best work.â Bernadetta says. âIt looks quite bad really. Oh goddess you hate itââ
Leonie rests a hand on Bernadettaâs shoulder. âNo, Bernadetta. I love it.â
Bernadettaâs face goes red and she hides her face in her hands in embarrassment. She murmurs something unintelligible, and when Leonie asks her again, Bernadetta practically yells, âIâll come to Sauin and paint you proper someday!âÂ
That makes Leonie smile for real, perhaps for the first time since Jeralt died.Â
â
Bernadetta isnât a gambler, but when she does play cards, sheâs a shark. Her mind is hardwired for mathematics, for chance and probability. Itâs probably why sheâs so good at judging when to run and hide and when it play it safe.Â
Leonie however, likes to gamble only when she knows sheâll win. And while she and Bernadetta are friends, one of them is rich and the other is very poor. Leonie looks like sheâs got the upper hand, a cute little smirk and sharp glimpse of the eye, and Bernadetta pulls out a 15-ten, launching her ahead of Leonie and into the final peg.Â
Leonie sighs and hands slides the little gold marks to Bernadetta. âYouâre too good at this.â She sighs. âCrib isnât my game.â
âDonât say that.â Bernadetta insists, taking the change and rattling it in her hand. âI th-think I have enough to get us some tea.â
âWe can have tea back under the gazebo. The professor wonât mind sharing some leaves, and Iâm sure if you ask Lorenz for a teapot heâll lend it. Heâs got like twenty or something. Probably.â
Bernadetta pouts and shakes her head. âI won! I want to treat you.â
âIsnât that a waste of money?â
âShouldnât you hush and let me treat you?â
Leonie canât fight the logic in that and shuts up. But before they can get down to the tea shop down below in town, Bernadettaâs anxiety spikes. âI donât think I can do it.â She mumbles and grabs Leonieâs hand for support.Â
Both girls blush hard. Bernadetta feels a little stronger when Leonie squeezes it back and tells her that itâs okay, that they can to another time. But Bernadetta is adamant. She wants to give Leonie something. They pass a flower seller and Bernadetta, overcome with energy and courage actually asks the seller for a bouquet of sunflowers. Her words come out in one breath, in sentences that linger along and make Leonie wonder why sheâs never like this around her. Bernadetta comes running back with an armful of stalky blooming sunflowers that reflect their golden-yellow light back onto her pallid face.
She thrusts them at Leonie and says, âH-Here! For you!â
Leonieâs never had flowers given to her before. Back home in Sauin when Saint Cethleann day hitâwhich was typically recognized as a day to celebrate forms of loveâpeople would always exchange flowers. Leonie never got a single one, aside from her mother but that doesnât really count.
Leonie blushes hard and takes them from Bernadetta, murmuring a barely audible, âthank you.â Bernadetta must not notice her blush, for she turned away quickly. Itâs a huge stack and Leonie plucks one, a small one that was plucked before it had fully bloomed so the petals are still small and holds it out to Bernadetta.
âBut theyâre for you.â She protests.
âAnd Iâm giving you one.â
Bernadetta vehemently refuses, all the way up to the monastery. That night, when Leonieâs doing a final walk before bed, she takes the small sunflower and leaves it out in front of Bernadettaâs door.
The next morning, when Leonieâs the first one up and doing her morning stretches, she walks past Bernadettaâs door and smiles when she sees the sunflower gone.
â
Bernadetta is hiding behind a table of hors dâoeuvres at the ball. She hasnât danced yet, refuses everyone until Leonie comes over and takes her hand and pulls her to the floor. Bernadetta was never a great dancer, always too jumpy and quick, which is why sheâs probably a great archer. Leonieâs always been light on her feet but uncoordinated when it comes to dancing.Â
So instead of the floor, where theyâll surely bump into people and piss them off, Leonie takes Bernadetta outside where they spin in the grass and collapse in the blades laughing and dizzy.Â
And then, as Bernadettaâs about to get up, Leonie leans in and kisses her.Â
Itâs a short burst of a first kiss that makes both girls burn bright red and their hearts pound so loudly that they can hear it in their ears.Â
All Leonie can think of is âOh goddess, oh fuck Iâm so stupid, oh goddess,â in a repetitive loop.Â
Meanwhile, Bernadetta is staring off into space like sheâs zoning out, her mind awash with âWell, everything makes sense now.â
Leonieâs mouth opens to apologize, to sputter out apologies like what Bernadetta would do; but as she begins to speak, the words die against Bernadettaâs lips as she kisses her again and again.Â
â
âThe stars are prettier in Sauin.â Leonie says.Â
Bernadetta canât help but believe her. Theyâre probably so much prettier against the open fields and bright skies. Wildflowers in the vale. The skies in Varley are shit in comparison, always covered up and smoky.Â
âI want to see them one day.â Bernadetta tells her.
Leonie presses a kiss against her temple. âIâll show you. Promise, Bern.â
Bernadetta curls into her chest, her arms snaking around Leonieâs waist tightly. Leonie laughs and it reverberates through Bernadettaâs entire body. She feels warm, she feels at home.Â
âIâll hold you to it, Sunflower.â
â
Leonie developed a taste for alcohol young. From fine brandy to shitty moonshine, she isnât picky. But she honestly prefers it in her mouth instead of washing it over open wounds.Â
Sheâs had a stash of ginânot her favourite but it does the trick pretty quickâthatâs just right to clean broken skin and wounds. She keeps it stashed in her boot, probably negating its purpose.Â
The arrow is lodged in Bernadettaâs thigh and sheâs been unconscious for a while. She slumped over into Leonie and her grip went limp about twenty miles away from Varley Manor. Edelgard had ordered them to retreat if things looked bad, and things really started looking bad. Leonie had a feeling that the monastery would be either taken by the church and kingdom or overrun with wounded so she ran. It was the bravest thing she could do.Â
Leonie grabbed Bernadetta by the waist and hauled her up onto her horse, ignoring her yelp and her cries that Petra was left behind, that Petra was going to die and leave her siblings behind, that she needs to help Petraâ
Leonie had grabbed Bernadettaâs hands and told her, in a low tone, a warning tone, a tone that she hated, âWe canât help Petra if we die.âÂ
That sobered Bernadetta up. âIâll guide Bennet. You focus on protecting Petra.â Leonie ordered.
Bernadetta nodded, her eyes glistening with tears. The two became a cohesive unitâLeonie guiding the horse, Bernadetta nocking arrows and protecting Petra from a distance as best as she could. Leonie circled around the town of Garreg Mach, fully intending to get back up to where Petra was so that Bernadetta could take Bennet and speed off to safety and Leonie could jump off and help Petra, who was surrounded.
Just as they were rounding the battlefield, another archer came outta nowhere. They missed Leonie but hit Bernadetta with a shrieking cry that made Leonieâs ears pop and Bernadetta drops her bow and cuss loudly.
Instincts drove Leonie to get the fuck off the field. Healers were scarce and her own vulnerary stash was near-depleted from a particularly nasty hit from Alois, who had nearly taken out Bernadetta. Leonie had seen it coming, saw the panic and fear in Bernadettaâs eyes, and remembered that one time, down at the lake, where Bernadetta recalled how similar he was to her uncle.Â
So Leonie had jumped in, Leonie had taken the hit and then knocked the shit out of Alois, ignoring the fact that he had a wife and child at home, ignoring the connection he had with Bernadetta, ignoring the fact that he had mentored her in axe-throwing when she first got to the academy.
Ignoring that he too had lost Jeralt.
Leonie snapped the reins and directed Bennetâwho had been startled by Bernadettaâs high-pitched screamâaway from the field.
âOkay Bernie, okay,â Leonieâs voice was uneasy, and she was trying her best to make it calm. Bennet got scared and in between soothing Bernadetta and the horse, Leonie was stretched thin. âTalk about something. Tell me anything, come on, Bernie!â
Bernadetta was half-sobbing, half-screaming and began spilling the entire story of a five-part saga about a hunter and a princess, a Cinderella story of sorts. Leonie took the reins in one hand and searched for the vulnerary that she tucked into her pockets and fished it out. She handed it back to Bernadetta who chugged the rest of it and cringed.
When Leonie realizes that the gin is in her pocket.âLeonie kept her talking by asking about the book sheâs writing. Each time her voice got too faint, Leonie would shift the reins into one hand and clutch Bernadettaâs arm hard and ask, more like yelling over the hoofbeats, âokay Bern, what happens next? What happens next?âÂ
When Bernadetta doesnât answer, Leonie panics. Leonie isnât used to panicking. Her mind goes through the motions of control, of whatâs right, whatâs logical.Â
We need to stop.Â
She pulls hard on the reins and the horse halts, whinnying in protest. Leonie hops down from the horse and Bernadetta almost falls.Â
Leonie braces Bernadetta and helps her down as best she can. In a panic, Leonie undoes the cloak around her waist and bunches it up to make a shitty little cushion. She tucks it under Bernadettaâs hips. Elevation. Elevation is key.Â
She searches for a pulse, her breath. Sheâs breathing but shallow, and her pulse is weak.Â
Leonie stumbles over cusses. The vulnerary only did so much, and it wasnât enough. First aid, she needs first aid. But pulling the arrow out makes a breeding ground for infection. And pulling out the arrow is not a good idea for the extra blood loss.Â
Now, sheâs wishing she paid more attention to Lorenz in between his patronizing comments and remarks as he tried to teach her white magic. Leonie was almost hopeless. Guy was a jerk most of the time but he knew what he was talking out.
All she has is here and now. Stop the bleeding. She orders herself. She has to stop the bleeding before Bernadettaâs weak pulse goes flat and she stops breathing.Â
Leonie grabs the cloak and bunches it around the arrowhead. Bernadettaâs body flinches instinctively and Leonie feels uncomfortable hope. Donât get ahead of yourself Pinelli. She warns.Â
The professor would know what to do. She keeps thinking that Byleth would tell her what to do. But Professor Byleth is back on the front lines with Edelgard.
She dodges those thoughts as deftly as she can and searches the packs for alcohol. Leonie developed a taste for alcohol pretty young. Bernadetta did too, though she canât hold her booze.
Leonie waterfalls it into her mouth and bitter, intense juniper and florals run over her tongue to take the edge off, breathes a sigh and steadies herself.Â
âIâm sorry Bern.â She says before dousing her thigh in gin. Before the alcohol washes over her broken skin, Leonie is murmuring white magic spells, tripping over the words  and half-crying because she canât lose Bernadetta. She canât. Bernadetta has to live because Leonieâs lost too much alreadyâ
Bernadetta shocks awake and stares at Leonie, eyes dazed and unable to hold Leonie as her focus. Leonie doesnât care. Instead sheâs sobbing and clutching onto Bernadetta and praising the all stars in the sky that the stupid spell worked.Â
â
Bernadetta tries to slow her thundering heart but she canât. Camping sounded more fun on the first night, but after a week, her back is aching and sheâs struggling to find a comfortable way to stretch out without kicking Leonie.Â
The idea, at first, was to try and get to Varley where they could hide out. Bernadetta remembers a few empty houses that they could wait out in for a few days until the monastery is recovered and they can contact the professor.
But after a few days, Bernadetta sends a message by express to the professor asking for instructions and gets nothing back. And worse, every time she tries to remember the way home to Varley it gets foggier. Sheâs blocked part of it out, the pathways and vale thatâs cloaked in thick, jet-black pines. It would be easier if she could just fucking remember.
She begins to get worried when Leonie gets frustrated with her inability to remember. Leonie will ask questions over and over, trying to figure out a solution, but each time Bernadetta cries out that she doesnât know or canât remember, Leonieâs patience burns away.Â
At least theyâre going back into imperial territory. Most of the noble houses bound together and are in agreement to fight against the church and Kingdom, but thereâs still dissenters and Bernadetta is constantly on the edge of a panic attack.Â
Their plan becomes treacherous and after a week of camping with stolen blankets and in dirty clothes, Bernadetta is done.
âI canât remember the way home.â She says into Leonieâs back.
Leonie stirs a little. Her voice is distant. âYou canât?â
âNo.â
âSeriously?â
âI canât, Iâm sorry, Leonie, I canât.â
âCan you remember the path you took up to the monastery.â
âNo.â Bernadettaâs voice gets shaky. âI⌠I was pretty much shoved in a bag and carried there, I remember nothing. Iâm sorry Leonie, Iâm sorry.â
Leonie sighs and sits up. Bernadetta stares at her frame, lit by the stars. Her freckles melt into her skin and disappear; shame, for they were Bernadettaâs favourite part of her, they looked like a tiny sky painted across her cheeks and down her neck.Â
âThen you have to go back to Edelgard.â
Bernadetta sits up. âM-Me? What about you?â
Leonie is cold and quiet. âI canât go back.â Her voice is defeated. âClaude needs me.â
âYouâre deserting? Sheâll kill you.â Bernadetta says desperately. Her hand finds Leonieâs and holds it tight. âLeo, I canâtâI-I-I wonât⌠DonâtâŚâ
Leonieâs arm comes around her shoulder for a moment and she feels her lips brush her hair. âIâll run with you. Iâll run! W-We can figure something else out! We can go to the kingdom.â
âThey know youâre with Edelgard.â Leonie warns. âThe second someone sees you, or recognizes you, youâre done.â
âBut I donât⌠I canât. I canât be away from you, Leonie.â Bernadetta holds her gaze. The words jumble in her throat, thicken her tongue and take forever to come out but Leonie is patient. âYou make me strong.â
Leonie just stares and holds her hand, her calloused thumb running over the back of Bernadettaâs palm. Sheâs quiet, gentle and attentive as Bernadetta attempts to regain herself and fails horribly. Bernadetta wants to collapse into Leonieâs arms and sob and yell that itâs not fair, itâs not fair, itâs not fucking fair.
âWeâll make it someday.â Leonie promises her. âWeâll just wait and see, okay?  I know this isnât the end, I know it, Bern.â
Bernadetta feels her world come crashing down on her, but Leonieâs holding it up like she always does. Sheâs always so cool under pressure, nothing ever gets to her and itâs one of the reasons why Bernadetta is so intrigued by her.Â
âWeâll head back to the monastery tomorrow.â Leonie decides. âHowâs your leg?â
âFine. Iâll survive.â
It still hurts a lot, and Bernadettaâs moving slower than she should but the important thing is that sheâs alive. She wouldâve been dead without Leonie. Soon enough, Leonie wonât be there to make sure she doesnât get hurt.
âTheyâll take care of it better, Iâm sure they have the supplies.â
Tears prick at Bernadettaâs eyes. Her arms slither around Leonieâs waist. She hugs Leonie tight, trying to remember how sheâs all strength, all hard edges and sinewy muscle. Every since really taking archery seriously, Bernadettaâs slowly become like that, but village life and planting and sowing and hunting since she was a kid has sculpted Leonie into that mould.
Bernadetta focuses on the feeling of Leonieâs body against hers, her steady breathing, the rhythmic gentle thud of her heart. Bernadetta focuses on that for a long, long time until Leonie melts into sleepâsheâs always been a better camper than Bernadettaâthen slowly extracts herself from around Leonie.
She gets up, empties her pockets of her change, they were playing an anxious game of cribbage, trying to pass the time before the attack on the monastery, and leaves her entire coin purse of cribbage winnings by Leonieâs head, writing in the dirt, You win, Sunflower.
She says goodbye to Bennet, leaves all the rations they collected and her cloak because Leonie will surely need it and leaves the campground without looking back.
â
In five years, Bernadetta throws herself on Edelgardâs mercy; Leonie does the same with Claude. Naturally, as both are skilled fighters, theyâre accepted back into the fold.Â
Edelgard keeps a close eye on Bernadetta to make sure she doesnât run and hide. Claude makes sure that Lorenz, who has employed Leonie as a mercenary out of the knowledge of his father, keeps tabs on her.
Bernadetta doesnât dare send a letter to Leonie, though she writes many and addresses them to the hearth in her room. Leonie doesnât either, because she goes where the money goes.
But soon enough, five years lapse and the war goes full tilt.
â
Leonie is thrown from her horse. Bennet, the dumb bastard, rears up when Raphael lets out a roar to gas himself up. The battleâs barely started and sheâs already half-concussed. The one fucking battle, that is the most important and sheâs already messed up.
Leonie forces herself up into the saddle and follows Claudeâs orders. She and Raphael are on the front line, their job is to cut a path through so that their reinforcementsâmagesâcan sneak in and set fire to the field.
It all goes to plan, Leonie cuts down allies and enemies alike, their faces and bodies bleeding together like paint.
There, across the field she sees Bernadetta at the ballista. She looks different. Stronger, more mature, thereâs a fire in her eyes that Leonie never saw before and she keeps murmuring, that canât be Bernadetta, that canât be her. It canât be.
Then it occurs to Leonie that sheâs on the bridge theyâre going to set fire to.
Bernadetta, who left her in the ruins of a ravaged town. Bernadetta, who she thought would have died long ago. Bernadetta, who she would never have imagined in a thousand years to be here, on the front line at the Battle of Gronder Field.
Before she realizes it, Leonie is barrelling towards Bernadetta, screaming her name like itâs the only words she knows. Sheâs breathless, her lungs burning like hell as she pushes poor Bennet, faster, faster, faster.
She feels an arrow graze her shoulder. From the corner of her eye, Leonie sees crimson seep through her shirt sleeve and she cusses. Bernadetta nocks another one and screams at her to stop or sheâll shoot again. Thereâs a wild look in her eyes, a dangerous look, a look that says, âwe have unfinished businessâ.
Leonie feels a lurch of anxiety and stops short of dismounting Bennet.
Thereâs a tense moment of eye contact as Leonie drinks in how Bernadetta has changed. Her hair is different, like sheâs finally gotten used to using a hair brush, and sheâs taller, much taller, almost as tall as Leonie herself. And she looks mature in a bad way, in a way that gives her dark circles beneath her eyes and quaking hands. She doesnât look like the Bernadetta that she kissed, the Bernadetta that she shared secrets with, the Bernadetta that she loved and still loves.
She must have gone back to her father. Leonie shivers as she thinks it.
Thereâs the din of swords and shields. Leonie almost drops her lance. Bennet grows anxious with all the fighting.
âTheyâre gonna light this on fire.â Leonie tells her against the deafening sound. âIf not them, us. You have to move.â
Bernadetta stares at her. âYou said theyâd protect me.â
âI was wrong!â Leonie cries out desparately. âI was so fucking wrong! I should have protected you. But you should have stayed! All you had to do was stay!â
Bernadettaâs eyes flicker behind her. She keeps the bowstring pulled tight as Leonie gets off Bennet and then lets it fly into Leonieâs shoulder. It lands hard and Bernadetta drops her bow, immediately realizing what sheâs done.
Sheâs swearing, half screaming the words and then a cacophony of Oh goddess, oh Goddess, but all Leonie can think about is that sheâs missed that anxious little voice and then realizes, âOh fuck. You shot me.â
Bernadetta is stumbling over apologies before taking action. Like years before, but now in reverse, Bernadetta hauls Leonie on the back of Bennet and snaps the reins hard. She yells at Leonie to tell her about Sauin Village, about her home, about her travels, and Leonie, while feeling the blood ooze from her shoulder and the cloud of adrenaline fade from her mind, can talk only of the stars back in Sauin as they desert Gronder Field and their armies.
â
Bernadetta, Eternal Loner Leonie, Blade Breaker II
After fleeing Gronder, Bernadetta and Leonie were said to be spotted on the run for many, many years, though no official documents or records state this. Folk songs and rumours suggest that they became some sort of heroes to everyday folk, and The Ballad of the Bear and the Hornet, can be found in many childrenâs books.Â
Reports exist that an older woman with a fair amount of battle scars could be spotted inside taverns and pubs with many a great story to tell. These fun nights would follow promptly with a woman who only referred to herself as Bear, coming in to pay her wifeâs tab and give her apologies.
Bonus CF Ending: Upon inheriting House Varley, Bernadetta completed her duties in solitude. When Leonie was called to dispatch some bandits, she and Bernadetta reunited and ended up staying together. Leonie became captain of her personal guard and Bernadetta ascended to become a wise, caring and authoritative leader with Leonieâs help. It was rumoured that in the early days of their relationship, Leonie would sit in and warn visiting dignitaries and politicians to mind their manners when Bernadetta was speaking with a weapon at hand; in respect to this, Bernadetta gave her a golden dagger, engraved with the name Sunflower.Â
#ru writes#3h#fanfiction#I got super fucked up today about bern and leonie and this just came out#Leobern#I canât be the only one who thinks theyâRe neat ok#leonie pinelli#bernadetta von varley#These poor girls are super fucked up and i want them to be ok#Tw abuse#i get the vibe that Leonieâs dad is pretty absent hence the attachment to Jeralt#And we know Gregoire is gonna get the folding chair if Leonie ever sees him#I usually hc bern as a beautiful bi lady but in this she spends 18 years of her life wondering why every man she meets she thinks is mid#EXCEPTING RAPHAEL KIRSTEN#But the second leonie kisses her sheâs like âOH. OHHHHHH OK OK I GET IT NOW!!!â As if she didnât see Petra and Edie and Dorothea and didnât#Think: wow these girls are so pretty i mean beautiful i mean hot i meanâ#year of the otp
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back on the grief train woo woo (day recap) (most serious skip warning yet)
i have a predilectiction to not wanting to record or remember when (like the specific when in time) bad things happen. but in the last couple years of blogging, and i guess the year and change of drawing ive found a lot more appeal of recall. so i wonder if its not so bad to. record the bad. at any rate i dont think. not recording it makes it less real. which i think is the fear. and. my head is doing it anyway.
im doing this coping method questionable activity here instead of a journal becauseeee??? natural format my brains prefers i suppose.
to recap. the bad horrible no good very bad day
- i went to sleep late, as usual. i wake late. same. i prelong getting out of bed. also same. scrolling idly (or 'pre scrolling' the dash. i dont know why i do it)
- screams. screams and distress and misery and comforting a screaming distressed person. various talking down of hysterical lines of thought. (thats not an insult. 1. circumstances 2. understood behavioural trends) the joint and mouth gear i sleep in dont even come off until the screaming is done. have u every pet someones head in a wrist brace?
- lots and lots of crying. more comforting. the gear comes off. i brush my teeth. exhausted sitting and hovering around the. scene of the incident.
- migration to kitchen as food needs win out. all doors shut and all living beings collect. toast is eaten. water drank. etc.
- backup arrives. infomation is gathered. places are looked up and called. plans are formed. actions are taken. i mentally catalogue setimental, soothing, but give upable fabrics.
- i rip up threadbare torn bed sheets. i have to figure out how to get my dead cat into a box.
-he was around 12-15 pounds. we called him toddler sized and shaped. he had a mean punch and strong grasp. i taught him to sit on my shoulders, sometimes.
- realise how much heavier he is now. i cry. i cover him with the sheet. i somehow get it under him. hes stiff. even the tail. i cry. i pet his fur. i sob getting him into the box.
- backup apologizes. im on my knees. wailing. i think. definetly louder than anything ive done yet. backup gestures the dog at me. knowing my situation. distressee entered at some point. gets a hug from back up. i think i am gestured into the hug. i gesture down. im on the floor.
- i wail and am hugged.
- i am invited on the trip to the place. i gestures to my face. my sleep clothes. i dont see it happening. im told i dont need to be strong all the time. i reiterate. i really just wouldnt be able to get my glasses and a mask on.
- i dont see the box. i dont see much. at i dont remember if i have tea now or earlier. i soon as i hear the car go. im crying again. the sister cat meowing didnt help. i dont actually know or belief if that. i have no idea what she experiences. shes a cat. but. yeah.
- blogging happens? sometime happens? people return.
- im told. four years ago he developed a heart murmer. apparently thats a thing. 4 years. bengin to. serious.
- blogging happens. as well as algorithmic irony. i am asked if i want to watch something. i say. shower first. i forget ever song ive ever heard. for a moment. i settle on the album pocket.
- eventually i come down. i get food. we watch a movie. its a good movie. i have a nice exchange with a friend during too.
- i watch some dishes and realise. bizarrely. my old manager might find out about this. the vet was near to my job. the guy was friends with the techs. this was the kind of infomation he would share with me at times.
- youtube videos until the group disbands.
- i start recounting this my head
- i am wearing pjs i dont like. whatever the level for snotty sleeves where u chuck a set in the hamper has surely been met.
- typing this. using a spare pillow case as a hanky
- im gonna go and try and find the horse traqulizer of pleasant youtube videos.
#some shit#animal death#TRULY. this ones for my own purposes. i have no fucking clue what another human being would do being presented with this info and#am not expecting shit nor dick.#just me and my public internet diary okay?
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I saw your post on the German rabbit care guide with interesting views.
As someone who has experience with over 13 adult rabbits and been autisticly researching them to death I can give you some care advice.
With food-
Hay is extremely important and not a supplement.
If you want to go with the natural root, it still stands. Wild European rabbits are mostly grazers, only supplementing their diet with greenery and roots when they can/when grass is not available. Hay is the human alternative to constant access to grass. This is why farm rabbits/horses/sheep with rotating grass access don't need hay but stable/pet based and over-wintering farm animals do.
Pellets - you technically only need a small amount. I only feed a bowl full as mine can only have so much access to hay due to their hutch space.
Greenery- you do not need to feed daily. I only feed kale once weekly as it is high in calcium (too much causes bladder sludge). I feed no other greenery unless I have some. If anything too much greenery is problematic as it scours.
Socialization - yes they are social
A very tricky topic. They benefit from pairs but only if spayed/neutered. They will fight otherwise. Only spay/neuter if you can find a good vet as I understand not everyone has access to a rabbit savvy vet.
To complicate things more is the view on mammals. Pet parrots are just as social (if not more) and it is not frowned upon to keep singularly if you provide enough enrichment and human companionship. The same with dogs. However step into the Territory of guinea pigs/rats/ferret/chinchillas/gerbils and of course rabbits and people will throw a fit over it.
It is perfectly fine to keep a single rabbit if you socialize with them and provide enrichment.
Wire floors- not good
It used to be an old practice to have wire floors in hutches. It was done so the droppings and urine would fall into a collection tray umderneath or floor instead of where the rabbits stand. Not now though.
Turns out rabbit feet are delicate and it can cause sore hocks. Some rabbits can "tolerate" it but it is very uncomfortable and gets hot in the summer.
It is better to either spot clean (clean just toilet corner) daily or litter box train instead.
Health to look out for-
Wheezing/snotty paws and face- check with vet for the dreaded snuffles. Technically a name for many things. One is extremely dangerous and if treated early is survivable.
Red urine- red urine is not a problem. Certain food/normal hormones can make your rabbits wee weird coloured. Only be concerned if it is very sludgie (bladder sludge) or it looks like someone has dripped a drop of red dye in it (this IS blood in urine).
Soft stools- cecotrophs being left could mean being overfed or illness. Try reducing food first. True soft stool could be indicative of too many greens but also stomach upset. Check with vet If not overfed greens.
Not eating or pooping- take up the vet immediately. Treated with Oxbow critical care TM. This is a food powder to be mixed with water and syringe fed. It needs feeding every two hours in the morning and every four hours evening. This will stop GI stasis which is fatal for herbivores of any type (especially rabbits).
If you ever need any help with information, feel free to ask :)
Thanks for the information! I certainly appreciate the hassle for wanting to respond based on that random post.
I can say that I'm sticking to those guidelines pretty well, so I don't feel bad about knowing there's something off there hahaha.
The thing about my post was more because of the weird confusion that was generated for me, I didn't trust that site too much to tell you the truth and like I said there were things that sounded very strange. (I mean if it's THAT bad as they make it out to be then I think there should already be more warnings about it and less recommendations).
I'm going to leave this in the blog as a general guide just in case, and more if anyone wants to see. Again thanks đđ
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WIP Wednesday
âDo you remember how we first met? Because Iâve been thinking about it a lot this week.â
If Ajax means in this lifetime, Patâs only lifetime, then yes. It had been his second week at his new school after being placed with his first foster family. He had planned on keeping his head down and never speaking to anyone ever again unless absolutely pressed. Ajax had ruined that plan fairly easily.
âIt was like⌠friendship at first sight,â Ajax says. âWe werenât even in the same class, in the same grade, I didnât even know your name yet, but I thought, I have to meet that kid eating alone in the corner. He looks nice. And that just wasnât like me at the time. I always went along with my friends and did whatever they were doing, never stuck my nose out or did my own thing, but that day I knew I had to meet you, even if they thought I was being really weird and refused to come with. They made fun of me for it, too, after, but for the first time I just didnât care.â
Pat is silent. Ajax had never really told him his side of it. He sat himself down and that was it; they were friends. Thatâs all it really took sometimes. He had never considered it destiny or what Ajax is implying, a reunion of two souls who already knew and loved each other, finding each other again in an ugly middle school cafeteria at a table covered in gum as Pat ate his government-funded slice of flat, greasy pizza.
âAnd you,â Ajax continues. âI mean, you looked at my lunch like it was the worst thing youâd ever seen. Wrinkled your nose at my tomato and cucumber salad, pulling your head away like it stank, and the first words out of your mouth were a lie, âIâm not Greek, if someone told you I was,â with your little, snotty accent.â Pat doesnât remember this part, his hostility. He only remembers that Ajax was nice, that he though he looked nice, and despite everything that had happened in his recent history, he trusted him right off the bat. âI told you no one had ever said anything about you at all, and that I wasnât sharing my meatballs, and you apologized for being a dick and gave me half your cookie so I wouldnât leave. But the truth is I would have stayed anyway. I think I loved you before I even knew you. Didnât need the cookie.â Â
âThatâs very touching, Ajax, but itâs horse shit,â Pat spits.
#the writing it slow but it's happening#I mean this whole section might change again as I rewrite everythihng over and over
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Heads up, âdonât like donât watch/scroll byâ also applies to valid critique of your show.
If you canât handle any criticism about a show we both watch and enjoy, donât get snotty on my post about it like youâre on a high horse.
Critique is a valid form of engagement. In good faith, it comes from wanting to see a piece of media succeed and get better! And I understand some people donât know how to critique properly and that is frustrating, but that still doesnât mean being snotty is a good way of dealing with it, especially if you canât back yourself up when confronted.
#maybe thatâs on me for having such a short post w no elaboration in the main tag#but also maybe donât be an ass because I have an opinion lmao
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I want to try natto and I think I would like it
I mean... I can not just eat, but enjoy plenty of foods most people deem weird or disgusting
Salted licorice? Yes.
Meat jelly? Yes, and with horse raddish paste or extra spicy home made mustard please.
Salted or smoked salo? Yes.
Hot milk with honey and sheep fat? Yes.
Drinks and bread made of fermented rye? Absolutely.
National drinks of Central Asian ethnic groups made of fermented/sour milk with salt? Give them to me.
Salty pickled watermelon? YES.
Berry or fruit kissel with especially snotty texture? PLEASE
#you think I'd be scared of some natto#pfff#oh I also want to try that milk tea with salt and butter
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Today is a rant about what deconstruction means, and what it DOESNâT mean. Deconstruction DOESNâT mean making a âdark versionâ of a trope. It means, in the context of media tropes, to play out whatever trope is in question in the most realistic way possible, and showcase what results. Those results usually are darker or at least more serious than the trope is usually played, but just hurling a bunch of grimdark into a lighter setting doesnât make it a deconstruction, just dark. Letâs use an example. A common fantasy trope is the hero, despite having grown up a commoner, ascending to the throne by the end of the book. Sometimes itâs because he accomplishes some task that, while impressive, really has nothing to do with how fit he is to be king. Sometimes he marries a princess, usually the one he rescued. Sometimes he finds out he was actually of royal descent all along and is the true heir to the throne. However it happened, a young man of no noble background ---and thus, no training in politics or understanding of how things work in court---is now running things. What happens next? The assumption at the end of these stories is that everything will go perfectly right because heâs a good guy. A deconstruction, however, would examine the number of things that could realistically go wrong in putting someone with no experience or understanding of politics on the throne. For instance, heroes are typically quite sympathetic towards the peasantry. Heâs probably going to immediately lower taxes or perhaps do away with taxes on the poor altogether, and began spending from the royal treasury to help build them homes, feed them, pay their medical bills, etc. And if the kingdom is rich enough, this might not be a problem. But thereâs a reason for taxes, and it wasnât just making the kingâs wallet fat. See, thereâs a common misconception that a king could just say âdo thisâ and it would be done Because He Is King. Thatâs not actually true. Soldiers need to be paid (and fed) in order for there to be a standing army (not to mention maintaining the horses, making and repairing weapons and armor, etc), civil servants need to be paid to do their jobs, and the people who are going to build those houses for the poor and grow food for them and tend to their medical needs are all also going to need to be paid. Kings who say âjust do this because I say so for no paymentâ tend not to last. So, our young hero decides, letâs tax the rich more! Tax those snotty stuck-up nobles, they have too much money anyway! And you know what, heâs probably right. Believe me guys, I am all for taxing the rich to support the poor, this is not a rant against THAT. But it is an examination of the realistic consequences for what happens if our hero does that, which is that the nobles start getting pissed at him. And a lot can go wrong for a king when that happens, and the skills that were useful for him as a hero canât really help with it. Yes, he may be able to swing his sword if they try an assassination, but what does he do if they merely withdraw their support? Remember, in the European feudal system (which these sorts of fantasies tend to be based on) nobles made it possible for the king to control the amount of land and people that he did. Each noble operated a particular portion of the kingdom, overseeing and governing it, in exchange for the power the nobles got over the local population. Nobles pledged their loyalty to the king and fought for him because he gave them these privileges; if the king begins to take these privileges and control away, their loyalty may be retracted in kind. Kings also frequently needed to borrow money from nobles for various reasons---maintaining an army was a common one---and could even go into debt to them, causing more problems. He OWES these guys now! And if he doesnât keep them happy, theyâre not going to be inclined to let him borrow from them again, which could be very dangerous if a war starts. . .which it just might, if neighboring countries start getting wind of all this. And thatâs just ONE issue. What about him simply not knowing how things work, how laws are passed, whoâs in charge of what, and basic court etiquette? How about knowing how to negotiate with foreign dignitaries or settle domestic disputes? How about--- The point of this work, if it were a book or a show, shouldnât be âthe feudal system was right actually, tax those peasantsâ or ânobodies should never become kings because they donât know how to do itâ it should be âletâs look at what realistic difficulties someone would face in this situation instead of just assuming everything would go swimmingly because our hero is a good guy, and how he navigates those difficultiesâ and making a story out of that. And probably a very interesting story! It is certainly more serious and down to the earth than the typical âhappily ever afterâ but that doesnât mean itâs a downer either, just a more thorough exploration of how someone could actually change the system from inside, and how thereâs more to it than just getting the âright guyâ in charge. Whereas if you just made it âdarkâ it would probably be that heâs either murdered immediately by his political rivals, or effortlessly manipulated by his courtiers into being a worse tyrant than the previous king, or becomes a worse tyrant by his own choice because he gets high on his own power. Which, yes, all COULD happen, but they donât HAVE to in order to be a deconstruction, and to be honest, I think the first example is a better story---our hero keeps his good goals and good intentions, but is now in a situation where all the heroic skills that got him here are pretty much useless, and he has to learn how to make a difference here without also getting deposed, because if heâs kicked off the throne everything will go back to the status quo. It becomes a very fine line to walk, and a very interesting read, more so (in my opinion) than âeverything is perfectâ OR âeverything is terribleâ. Itâs a whole new kind of adventure! And it CAN have a happy ending if you want, even if itâs not a perfect ânow everything is fixed foreverâ one. Maybe he manages some changes that pave the way for more in future generations, eventually leading to the abolishment of the monarchy and peerage and a whole new system that, while also not without its flaws, is more fair. Again, many deconstructions ARE dark, because examining the realistic implications of something often does lead darker or at least less idealistic places. But just injecting a load of murder and violence and cynicism into a work doesnât make it a deconstruction. It just makes it dark. Which, is fine too, if thatâs what you intended. Dark fairytales, for instance, are very in-vogue and thereâs a lot of great ones out there. Just, darkness alone does not make a deconstruction, so if thatâs what youâre intending to do, youâre going to need to think less in terms of âhow can I make this GRIM and GRITTYâ and more âok, how would this actually play out, realistically speaking?â and going from there. Hereâs some more fantasy deconstruction ideas! - How well do Sleeping Beauty or Snow White actually get along with their new husband, whom they literally never met before they woke up locking lips with him? And why was his first inclination to kiss a seemingly dead girl? - The dragon plaguing the village has been slain! Only, removing an apex predator from an ecosystem tends to have big consequences. Like maybe the deer population that the dragon was eating in addition to livestock and maidens is now out of control, and eating the crops. So the villagers kill them, but now the wolf population, which had also increased due to having more deer to eat, are left hungry, and the livestock starts looking pretty good to them too. So they kill the wolves, and round and round things go.  . . - In a lot of fantasy, all dwarves are miners. Thatâs all they do. Dig dig dig for gold and jewels, no dwarf does anything else ever. Ok. Where does the food come from, then, since they donât hunt or farm? Maybe theyâre bartering for it with the gold and jewels they mine. Ok. So whoâs cooking it? Well, maybe they pay someone who isnât a dwarf to do that. And who makes their clothing and where do they get the materials for it? Maybe itâs the same answer, they pay someone. Maybe the reason that it seems all they do is mine ISNâT because every single member of this sentient species is exactly the same and has the same passions and talents, but because the rocky mountain tunnels that are their natural habitat is not conducive to growing or finding food to eat, or growing the fibers needed to make clothes, etc, so theyâve evolved a society that is largely reliant on bartering with other cultures for what they need, and in order to keep that going so they arenât forced to leave their ancestral home, they NEED to keep mining the gold and jewels that others value, theyâre NOT just obsessively greedy because thatâs Just How They Are. This idea is  not dark and cynical, but it IS still a deconstruction; it takes a commonly accepted trope, asks âwhy?â and âhow would this actually work though?â, and then comes up with realistic answers! As a bonus, this fleshes out the worldbuilding, AND helps avoid some Unfortunate Implications that tend to come with painting fantasy races as monolithic in their culture and mentality (all dwarves are miners, all elves are artsy nature-lovers, all orcs are warrior brutes, etc) Also HERE is a video about deconstruction, both what it is and isnât, using anime examples!
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