#a simp for mr pres so

[quzen]

apparently tiktoks back???????

dont quote me or nothing its just working for sibling is all

[mblue-art]

drew @owl-bones's lv20 dust!cross boy, strike 💗 (pre-redesign) (new design here!)

silly xtras + simp thoughts under the cut

a shitpost ... ft silly au bc i got attached to how blorbo i made my sona in it...

im just a lil guye... against big scary tall skeleman constantly burning lots of magic... who easily crumbles to even the smallest bit of affection... he'll be dead on the fukcign gorund when im done w him /j/j/j/j/lh/aff <333

self-indulgent scenario/au surrounding my simping (just like all my other AUs in my head lololol) is called icecube (for now,, 👉👈),, yearned hard during an especially chilly rainy day, and felt so cold i joked that i was turning into ice-- then i got attacked with simp thoughts about how he'd be sooo warm and toasty (,,perfect for the weather,,,/)/////(\;;) and the silly thought of being the ice to his warmth-- his little icecube-- is very /////wwww

i love,, the visual of getting cold chilly hands and just reaching up to cup his cheeks and feel his ambient(?) magic warming my hands up and the whole gesture simultaneously making him melt,,

an icecube can only cool off a magic-burning body so much,, but i hope he enjoys the feeling lots everytime he holds cold lil me to his chest uwu 🧊💙❤️‍🔥

[purple-plum-petals]

Hi! Is it okay if I ask for another homicipher fic? I just got all the endings, and I'm obsessed. What about Scarletta trying to be physically affectionate with MC after seeing how protective Mr. Crawling is with them (perhaps even secretly peeking/knowing how often the crawling man hugged you, you two petting or shaking each other's heads, and using the word "cute" on each other.) I need Scarletta jealous ����

⊱ Blood-stained Lips ⊰ || Mr. Scarletella X Reader

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

Character(s): Mr. Scarletella (Homicipher/文字化化) Reader Type: Human (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) Warning(s): Spoilers for Homicipher (MC’s Lore and Specifically Scarletella Rain Ending), Canon-typical Mentions of Violence (and Horror Elements), Mild Jealousy, Slightly Suggestive. Anything spoken in the other world’s language will be bolded. Genre: Drabble, Light Angst (Hurt/Comfort), Pre-established Romantic Relationship (It’s Complicated, honestly). Word Count: ~2,140 words Request: “Hi! Is it okay if I ask for another homicipher fic? I just got all the endings, and I'm obsessed. What about Scarletta trying to be physically affectionate with MC after seeing how protective Mr. Crawling is with them (perhaps even secretly peeking/knowing how often the crawling man hugged you, you two petting or shaking each other's heads, and using the word "cute" on each other.) I need Scarletta jealous 🫣” Author’s Note: Okay so, like… Mr. Scarletella is probably one of the more nerve-wracking characters for me to write for, but I absolutely adored this ask, so I gave writing him in drabble format a shot! (It’s also pretty funny how the fandom has unanimously agreed that Mr. Crawling and Mr. Scarletella would not get along and would be actively antagonistic toward each other lmao). I think his dynamic with the MC is fascinating… the whole parasocial relationship the two of them have going on throughout the game is such a unique choice (love the simp energy he gives off, too, since I wasn’t expecting that from his character haha). This ended up being kind of suggestive at the end?? Nothing too crazy or anything, just him being very happy about being able to touch you. Anyway, I hope this isn’t too OOC – enjoy! 

→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated!  ♡

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

Even though his memories had been forgotten, parts of himself and his identity erased after you successfully defeated him, Mr. Scarletella occasionally found himself thinking of moments he couldn’t even recall witnessing. 

In his mind, he sees you with another resident of the realm, their long black hair cascading down their form while their laugh echoes through an empty corridor. He sees their fingers threading through your hair, moving their hands up and down along your scalp, and tousling your locks… 

Mr. Scarletella hears your laughter fill the space, too. The sound is light and airy, and he finds his chest tightening at the hazy memory. It’s an uncomfortable feeling and certainly was not one he enjoyed experiencing. It almost felt like knives being shoved repeatedly into his torso, a stinging and aching sensation that spread throughout his entire body from a singular point.

Almost absentmindedly, his hand comes to rest on the left side of his chest, the side where a heart would be located if he possessed one like you did. Mr. Scarletella hears a gentle murmur interrupt his thoughts, a noise that cuts through the fog in his mind like a saw slicing through flesh and sinew. 

“You okay?” Your voice echoes, and his pitch-black eyes dart down to meet with yours. You’re holding a red umbrella – his very heart and soul – in your hands. Your hold isn’t painful, nor is it gentle. It was perfect, just like you, he thought to himself. 

Rain drips down the water-resistant material of the umbrella that was permanently stained a bright, bloody red, and it falls onto the clear rubber of your raincoat before sliding down your form. Both the umbrella and your coat effectively keep your body dry from the elements. Mr. Scarletella, on the other hand, was completely soaked, having no issue walking beside you while the rain clung to his clothing and chilled his skin.  

If he concentrated hard enough, he could feel the heat of your body spreading throughout his chest and warming his form from the inside out. Oh, how happy he would be if the small flame within him sparked into something more, forming a fiery inferno inside his body. Even if you were to burn him, set an uncontrollable blaze within him that only left an empty husk behind, he would be content.  

Your brows are furrowed while you crane your neck back to look at him, the sound of rain around the two of you, effectively breaking up the long stretch of silence. He was acting a bit strange today, you thought to yourself. While the man dressed in red was never really normal in the conventional sense, he was much more quiet today than usual. 

Mr. Scarletella’s gaze used to be immensely nervewracking, his hollow stare once being able to cause the hair on the back of your neck to stand on edge, but you had grown used to it after spending so much time together. The two of you were in your old realm, the one you left behind to stay in the other world. You were fairly close to the haunted apartments he used to call his home and the site where you would dump the bodies of anyone unfortunate to cross your path… The start of everything that led you to where you are now. 

“You quiet… What you thinking about?” You ask him, shifting the hold of the umbrella in your hand to the other. You hadn’t brought your weapon today, wanting to give Mr. Scarletella a chance to experience a “typical” date, one that didn’t consist of violence and murder for a change. However, he had been in a daze since the two of you arrived, and that was somewhat out of character for him. 

Shifting your stance to better face him, your feet sink slightly into the mud beneath you. You look down at your boot-clad feet and frown. While you had grown used to being in a constant state of uncleanliness since the other world didn’t have showers readily or easily available, it was still quite annoying to clean mud from the soles of your shoes. This was the type of mud that threatened to pull your shoe from your foot if you were to try tugging on it, but you pushed your frustration to the side to focus on the man in front of you. 

Mr. Scarletella hums and reaches his hand out to your head, placing his palm against your hair, and you freeze. Your hair sticks to his deathly cold hand, almost as if static electricity was coursing through his fingers. 

It was soft under his skin, your hair, yet he could feel that some knots had begun to form near the base of the strands. Then, he begins to rub his hand back and forth, effectively messing your hair up even more. Your mind blanks at his sudden movement, the action reminding you of Mr. Crawling.

“Why… you touch me?” You ask, staring up at him as the rain begins to fall even harder, your grip on the umbrella in your hand tightening around the handle. The rain was so heavy that you could barely see into the distance, the horizon completely covered in a thick, gray mist. A sudden gust of wind blew Mr. Scarletella’s red hair, and within his usually hollow eyes swirled something you had never seen within them before. 

It reminded you of a storm rolling in across the ocean waves, a variety of emotions spiraling within his ashen irises. His hand never once leaves your body, instead sliding down the side of your head to cup your cheek in his palm. Whenever he touched you, it felt like TV static against your flesh, and you could see white-and-black dots begin to dance across your vision as a light hum filled your ears. 

Mr. Scarletella’s flesh is cold, and it reminds you of a corpse the chill his touch leaves in its wake. His head tilts to one side and he whispers to you, his voice barely audible above the rain crashing around you, “I want you – want to touch you.” 

Before you can even speak or formulate a response to his words, he quickly pulls his hand away from your skin. It felt like you had burnt him, yet he found himself not minding the stinging sensation that danced across his flesh. His hand dropped lifelessly to his side before he muttered an apologetic, “Sorry. Shouldn’t have touched you.”

After taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you shake your head and tell him, “...You okay,” before turning on your heel to walk away. You glance at him over your shoulder, his form becoming further soaked from the storm. It was kind of amusing, you thought, seeing such a previously powerful entity look like a stray, sopping-wet cat. 

Eventually, you gesture for him to come with one hand, the order of, “Follow me.” coming out of your lips, loud enough for him to hear.

He teleports to you before you can even finish your sentence, staring down at you with those unnerving eyes of his as he waits to see where you want to go. A huff of air forces its way out of your nose, chuckling at his obedience before you lightly graze his hand with your nails. It’s strange touching him, his form more like an illusion than a body made of flesh and blood. 

The two of you make your way across the waterlogged fields and flooded, muddy roads. Your footsteps splash in the puddles beneath you as you walk while Mr. Scarletella moves without making a single noise, merely a ghost in this world. Soon, however, the abandoned apartments come into view, and you lead him inside the old concrete structure. 

You pause as soon as your feet make contact with the cracked floor of the building, making sure that you can’t hear the sound of another living being within the hollow corridors. You close the umbrella when nothing catches your attention, making sure to shake it a few times to try and remove the raindrops that have accumulated on its surface. You watch as the water falls to the ground, making small, dark grey circles on the concrete. 

Looking over your shoulder, you watch as Mr. Scarletella watches you in return while holding the umbrella, waiting patiently for you to say something as a shiver runs down his spine. His hands that were hanging at his sides were closed, and he was clenching and unclenching his fingers almost like he was fighting the urge to place his palms against your skin once more.  

You can’t help but chuckle at his demeanor, placing the now-closed umbrella down so it was leaning against the wall. You do the same, leaning back on the wall before you hold your arms out to him, saying with a small smirk, “You can touch me.”

You jumped slightly at the speed at which he appeared in front of you. His body hunched over yours while he watched your expression intently, his black eyes partially hidden behind the thick curtain of red hair that cast shadows across his sickly complexion. Mr. Scarletella places his palm on your head, telling you smoothly, “Thank you.”

One of his hands begins to tentatively pat your skull while he enjoys the feeling of your hair against his palm. Then, his other hand soon joins, and you close your eyes while you allow him to pat you like a dog. It felt a bit demeaning in a way, but also strangely comforting, and it reminded you of one of the friendliest residents of the other world you had met. 

Your eyes flutter shut almost out of habit, allowing the man in front of you to enjoy the rare moment with you. His hands started out resting against the top and sides of your head, the movement of palms against your hair causing it to become messy and sticking up because of the static he created. 

Then, they tentatively travel to your face, cupping your cheeks before he brushes his thumbs underneath your eyes. You jolt a bit when his cold hand brushes against your neck, swallowing harshly when you feel him trace a finger down your SCM. Your breathing hitches while he explores your skin, and your teeth dig harshly into your bottom lip in response. 

Then, you feel his touch pause, and Mr. Scarletella whispers against your neck, the pad of his thumb swiping against your lips, “...blood.” 

“Oh, uh…” You open your eyes and look at him, seeing the way he’s staring up at you while his face remains close to your jugular. Your hand goes up to your lips, and you wince when you feel the soreness. When you pull your fingers away from your mouth, you see the blood that clings to them. Geez, you didn’t think you had bit your lip that hard. 

You tell Mr. Scarletella, patting his head much like how he had been doing with you, “I’m okay. Don’t stop.”

He smiles widely and lights up at your words. Suddenly, he grabs your face and hastily presses his lips to yours. Your eyes grow at the sudden act, and a strangled noise leaves your throat. It wasn’t a bad noise, per se, you just hadn’t been expecting that from him. Typically, he waited until you permitted him to do that... He must have been too excited to hold back this time around.

You were speechless when he pulled away from you, noticing your blood that was now smeared across his lips. He licks it away, his tongue peeking out from behind his lips before he asks you, “...You happy?”

You can’t help but laugh at his question, reaching up to place your hand on his head while your giggles echo throughout the empty hallways, patting him softly. Mr. Scarletella’s smile falters while he focuses on the feeling of your touch, on burning the memory of your expression and the sweet sound of your laughter into his mind. It made him feel strange knowing he was the one making you react in such a way, but it was good.

He wanted to do it more. 

“Yes, I happy. You cute.” You reply, smiling warmly at him while he stares at you like you’re the most beautiful thing in the world. 

“I like you.” He says, sounding almost breathless as his body hunches over more, his face nuzzling into the crook of your neck while his hands explore the rest of your body, stroking and touching and petting you. Mr. Scarletella didn’t want this moment to end. 

You chuckle as his breath fans against your skin, telling him gently as you feel his fingers work out any knots in your hair, “I know.” 

“I like you, I like you, I like you…” He murmurs against your flesh, “I love you.”

[sm-baby]

MASTERPOST - Piece by Piece ♟️

NEW MASTERPOST DROPPED!! The name is subject to change~ don't worry~

Characters:

Meet Mei-lyn!

Rolandus!

Meet The King and Queen!

Queen (Pre-evolved)

Meet Councilwoman Mars!

Meet Mr. Weiss!

World Building:

Cards and Chess pieces!

Card personalities

Different species!

Evolution Guide

And yes, they evolve like pokemon.

Black Chess pieces

Black and White kingdom

Time frame

SILLIES!!!:

Yes, Mei-lyn gets paid well

SLUTSHAMING!!!

Dont talk to me until I had my coffee

Morning entertainment

no bitches! 🎉🎊

oh shi character ai

HONK!!!

Little Fuckface Shithead

Human centipede🎶

Party Tension (oopsies!!!)

Give my girl a break

╔══ ❀•°❀FAQ❀°•❀ ══╗

" How old is Mei-Lyn?" - Mei Lyn is 23 years old! Started working for the king and queen at 17, got the cock-blocking job at 18. " How tall is the cast?" - MAN... HEIGHTS ARE A HEADACHE... I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT THAT "Will we ever see a black king and queen?" - They come when they come! I don't think they'll be any time soon though. " Do the King and Queen have an heir?" - Naur, though they know that they'd have to at some point. Either way, they'd be very neglectful parents.

"Did the Queen and King love eachother?"

- Bro was a cheater from the beginning and the queen knew damn well. That did NOT stop her from marrying him and becoming queen tho. She's greedy and wants power.

"Why is Weiss' sister a black chess piece?'

- Weiss is mixed!

" Are black chess pieces african coded?"

- Nope! Black/White chess peices are a secondary ethnicity. There are white chess peices that are african coded.

" Can I rizz up Mei-lyn?" - Mei-lyn doesn't believe in true love. She's uncommitted and will leave you at the altar.

╔══ ❀•°❀BOUNDERIES❀°•❀ ══╗

"Can I make OCs In PTP?" - Yess!! Multiple people already have and they make me so happy! do whatever, as long as you're happy and having fun!! " Can I make NSFW?" - Yas and slay! Just keep Mei-lyn out-- she was originally a sona and-- while I'm detached from her enough to not take the simping personally, NSFW would still make me uncomfortable. - Other than that, everyone else (WHO IS LEGAL AND NOT PROSHIPPED) should be free! Please just be sure to tell and spoiler it, etc. etc. be responsible when posting NSFW! " Can I make Fanfics?" - - Yes and please show me!! That would be lovely!! " Can I ship the characters/self ships/ OC x Canon?" - Same as NSFW! Everyone is free but Mei-lyn! Though I find one-sided crushes and the simping endearing and funny (PROSHIPPING IS ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED.)

" Gender and sexualitie headcanons?" - I don't like labels. All my characters are straight until said otherwise-- and I am uncomfortable with people headcanoning my OCs with genders and sexuality. I wish to have control over that. - Though, I'm flattered with mlm/wlw OC x canon shipping with the OCs! That's different in my brain for some reason!

[pablitogavii]

Maybe something like size kink with gavi and if you’re okay with it maybe a smut

My world in my arms

Ps. I love his little piggy back rides!! 😍😍😍

You were traveling back home from a visiting your family in Hawaii and Pablo was overjoyed to have you back home again.

Since you spent all of his summer together, and you still had some days off when his pre-season started, you both traveled to US together and you went to spend some time with your family.

You moved to Barcelona for college and didn't even imagine falling in love so soon and with none other than Pablo Gavira.

Your parents were overjoyed to hear you found love, and that you had someone looking out for you so far away. After a few months of dating, you moved in with him and his family because it made it easier to avoid public eyes.

It was Pablo who wanted to make it official first and you let him take it his tempo being very proud when he first presented you as his girl to the public. From that point on, you were always holding hands in public and being very affectionate.

You think the whole Spain now knows what a simp you both are for each other..hehe :)

"Amor!" he rushed to grab you in his arms and spin you around happily not caring about numerous pictures being taken of the two of you. You had a safe but kinda uncomfortable flight so you were massaging your neck while you waited for your bag together.

"You had no sleep did you preciosa? I can see your under eyes" he said and you pout thinking you must look horrible right now.

"And they are not preventing you from being absolutely breathtaking mi niña!" he pulled you into a hug like he was reading your mind and you smiled fitting just perfectly against him. You always loved how he could hold all of you in his arms due to your size difference.

"From now on, you're letting me get you a business class princesa" he said massaging you neck while still keeping an eye out for the bag on the carousel.

"No way cariño! You know I'm all coach all the way!" you say giggling but you both knew you just didn't want Pablo spending his money on you. Some people suggested money is all you were after but they don't know you..not like Pablo does..he knows how it feels when something is real and this was just it. He wished people would give you a break.

"There it is!" you show and he jumped grabbing it and the two of you left to his parked car and drove to his family house.

"We're home!" Pablo called and Belen was quick to run and give you a tight hug. You were really happy to see both her and Mr. Gavira but right now you just wanted to be back in your man's arms again.

"Would you like something to eat querida??" Belen asked and you gave her a kind smile shaking your head politely.

"Let's let her wash up and get some rest. We will expect you both for dinner" Mr. Gavira said and you nodded smiling at him thankfully before Pablo grabbed your hand and went upstairs to the guest room you used.

He carried the bag while you were taking off your clothes until his big strong arms wrapped around your body and he pulled you back against himself.

"Have I told you despite loving having you here, I hate that I can't sleep with you! You're so close but still out of my reach princesa.." Pablo was whinny and you definitely missed this. You turned around in his arms looking up definitely feeling smaller again.

"Couple of days cariño..and our apartment will be ready" you remind him and he smiles at the thought of living ALONE with you soon very excited about it.

"And then guest room will be for actual guests and us two will sleep in our room..hm in our bed..all cuddled up together..every night" he was pulling you close and trapping you with his arms but you didn't mind loving the way it made you feel small but safe.

"I love the sound of that Pablito..now, you should let me go shower?" you smile and he lets go so you walk towards the bathroom and he follows like a lost puppy.

Not even a minute passed of you getting into the shower did Pablo peek his head through your curtains making you giggle and walk to kiss his nose.

"Can I join you princesa??" he said and you chuckled shaking your head while kissing him back feeling his arms move inside getting wet while holding your hips.

"Your parents are downstairs amor.." you remind him and he sighs knowing that you were right, like always hehe.

"Just a few more days..precioso" you say kissing him again and he smiled again looking forwards to being able to do whatever he wanted with you whenever he wants to do so.

"I'm waiting for you in the room princesa!" he said smirking and you blush nodding your head and finishing your shower quickly and joining him.

You were so comfortable in your pajamas yawning and he chuckled opening his arms and asking you to join him which you gladly did. You sighed in relied once your head was on his chest finally, his strong smell making you feel at home and his strong arms holding all of you against his body.

"Te extraño mucho mi amor!" he said kissing your head and you smile nodding your head and nuzzling your face into his neck.

"Me too cariño.." you smile when he kissed the top of your head.

"Get some sleep for me preciosa..I've got you and I'm not going anywhere, don't you worry"he says and you sigh nodding your head and closing your eyes finally able to properly relax.

"I feel so safe in your arms.." you say sleepy feeling ablo's hold tighten so you opened your eyes and looked up at him.

"You're so tiny against me..and I love it so much princesa. Makes me feel like a protector..like a real man willing to do anything for his little princesa..tu eres mi vida amor..and I can hold my world in my arms finally.." he said kissing your lips before starting to play with your hair gently and you slipped into deep sleep.

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

Lonely Weekend Fic Rec List

I read, once again, a ton of phenomenal fics over the past week or so and I'm dying to share my favourites with you (red for NSFW content):

Blood in the Mortar & Dhampir Dreams by @bardic-inspo Megh is a phenomenal writer, be it for Mr. Vampire Lord Astarion or "Ima put a dhampir into her"-breeding-kink Astarion. I, personally, am here for anything Megh writes. Dhampir Dreams is also getting a part two, so check out part one while you're waiting patiently! Field Study @grandmother-goblin Ok, so, regrettably, this ongoing fic was on my TBR for way too long. I'm only a few chapters in, but this fic is a gem—Granny has such a deep understanding of Astarion's character and his many issues. Later chapters will be NSFW. Devil's Diary by ChildOfYuggoth & Raphael Simp (AscendedMuse) on ao3 (ongoing) Look, I have raging daddy issues and Raphael is not helping. At least not with the issues. Devil's Diary is a very fun, hot, not too smutty (yet) read with a snobby devil and an equally bratty Tav. Communication by @vixstarria I'm obsessed with the way Vix writes Astarion and I love her Tav, Asmodea—together they're the perfect gremlin couple and so so much fun! Communication is a brilliant read about Astarion having to make up his mind about ascension, when he's long made his decision. Life Essence by @nyx-knox Feeling like a bloody mess? Your body is in pain? It's that time of the month? Worry not, Astarion gotchu, babes (even if it's not your time of the month right now). Where were you, when I was new? by @kittenintheden Ok, I read this one a while ago BUT I think about it at least every couple of days. This is a brilliant pre-spawn law-student VirginTM Astarion fic that is masterfully written.

Don't forget to show your fandom creators and their work some love and by that I specifically mean comment, like and reblog said work! ✨

[crusherthedoctor]

💛 💚

💛: What is a popular ship you just can’t get behind, and why?

Sonamy, predictably. Three decades worth of official material, fanfics, fanart, a month dedicated to it on this site, and I still feel nothing towards it, and in fact have been actively turned off by it for multiple reasons. Including: little consistency among fans over how it would function and thus making it hard to imagine the "true" dynamic, fans often neglecting Sonic's needs and seeing him as little more than a trophy that Amy has earned, official teasing in stuff like Boom and Prime requiring dodgy characterization in order to back it up...

Outside of Sonamy, as hinted at earlier, with me tending to be more interested in rarer Sonic ships, you could say that very few popular examples do it for me, with Sonaze being the only mainstream exception that comes to mind. Sonadow? Meh. Shadamy? Meh. Silvaze? Meh. Is it an oversaturation response? Is it because a lot of the time, they tend to use their pre-established popularity as a shortcut for not having to put effort into their actual chemistry together? Who knows.

Whispangle is particularly tragic, because in an alternate timeline, I think I could have enjoyed it. With what Tangle and Whisper were apparently set up to be as individuals, I think it could have been cute and perhaps even comforting in the right hands. But of course, like Starline's self-destructive simping for Eggman, the comic had other ideas, and so we're left with rampant flanderization and conjoined twins who ended up being more toxic together than the writers probably realised, not helped by them also having Lanolin the Sally alongside them.

Shame.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favourite character?

I've already explained why Eggman being less evil than other Sonic villains is James Somerton levels of delusional, but it goes beyond that.

"Eggman is a family man" Nope, robots he built don't count. Excluding temporary allies and certain simps, he is very much a lone wolf compared to someone like Bowser, with even his thoughts on the late Gerald largely stemming from a selfish lens of the latter's genius making himself look good by association. Given his ego, he also probably wouldn't be interested in having a heir to his throne, because it's HIS empire, and ONLY his: he would just find a means to immortality instead.

"Eggman can't plan" If that were true, 95% of the game plots would never have happened. Using this to handwave shitty writing in a comic whose premise leaped off of Forces, a game where Eggman is constantly planning, is Mr. Fantastic levels of reaching. The intro cutscene for Unleashed, a moment that I'm pretty sure fans fondly reminisce over to this day, had a setup that specifically relied on the idea that Eggman can plan. If you're going to claim he can't plan because he makes some mistakes and ultimately loses to his nemesis, then you might as well claim that all video game villains can't plan... including other villains in this very franchise.

"Eggman is cowardly" My man is so hands-on that he's the sole boss of half the games. He also made a beeline towards the Time Eater mere seconds after it appeared in front of him without warning.

"Eggman is physically inept" He punched a wall of ice.

[wannab-urs]

Hello and welcome to the Peg That Middle Aged Man Campaign 2023!

My dear friends and I took on the challenge of pegging many of Pedro boys over the last couple weeks, and I'm here to put them all in a masterlist for you!

I'll be updating it as we get all of the boys who have been... uh... claimed... posted, but also there are a few boys we didn't take on. Feel free to message me about adding your fic to the list!

Thanks to @atinylittlepain, @serenaxpedro, @jksprincess10, @cutesyscreenname, and @beskarandblasters for helping me put this together <3

List below the cut!

Anything For You, Babe by @wannab-urs | Frankie

You and Frankie try something new because he's a simp and he loves you.

Nothing to Hide by @atinylittlepain | Pre-outbreak!Joel

she learns a couple new things about her man over the course of a night.

Non-Disclosure Agreement by @atinylittlepain | Dieter

Something unprofessional keeps them professional.

I’d suffer hell if you tell me what you'd do to me tonight by @serenaxpedro | Post-outbreak!Joel

You knew you could trust Joel with your life, knew he would never judge or betray you. But what if it came to a very particular want of yours? Would he be up for a night of new kind of fun?

New Experience by @jksprincess10 | Javier Peña

A new discovery leads to a new experience for Javier.

Vaya con Dio by @atinylittlepain | Sean "Dio" Morrissey

Dio thinks he's got her all figured out, but she's got a few tricks up her cashmere sleeve.

I Bite Back by @wannab-urs | Max Phillips

Max Phillips is seemingly always in command, always domineering, always on top… except when he’s with you.

Something Different by @beskarandblasters | Din Djarin

You work at a brothel on Coruscant. It was a night just like any other but you wanted to do something different for a change. And you get that when a Mandalorian walks in looking for intel on a bounty.

Office Hours by @cutesyscreenname | Mr. Ben (SNL)

Reader surprises Professor Ben during office hours. And not for lunch.

Appropriate Reactions by @wannab-urs | Ezra (Prospect)

Ezra is stranded without a ship and has nothing to offer you in return for a ride off The Green... So you make a deal.

Gold by @jksprincess10 | Oberyn

Oberyn has given you a beautiful but strange gift, and he wants you to use it on him.

Play by @atinylittlepain | Javi Gutierrez

it's not that kind of play, honey.

Coming Soon:

Marcus Pike - claimed by @atinylittlepain

Dave York claimed by @serenaxpedro

--------------------

Happy Pegging!

[planet-of-the-machines]

A Little History Lesson

*on a more private server*

Has J, uh, calmed down?

-Hot Rod

She's stopped BSOD'n on us. Does that count?

-Sideswipe

Alright, you barely-functioning toasters have a lot to explain! Forging records is a policy violation, and–!!!

-J

Madam, Hot Shot wasn't hallucinating when he said Megatron was a member of Outpost 3. It's just that he has NOT lived here for the last fifteen years, not since he lead that attempted coup.

The same coup that N had just mentioned before your freak-out, if you'd paid attention. Not to offend any listening skills you do have, but...

-Hot Rod

My apologies. I believe we've had a misunderstanding.

HOWEVER, I request you give an explanation of what exactly transpired. If you refrigerators haven't noticed, that walking policy violation and his subordinates have been consistently sabotaging JCJenson's logistical infrastructure for the last decade, and putting an unsanctioned burden on the company's expenses!

-J

Can someone translate that corporate jargon or whatever for the rest of us?

-Heatwave

She asked why the Gladiator was kicked out of this outpost.

-V

Orion, I think you'd be best suited for that. We understand if this brings up–

Trailbreaker

No, I'll tell them.

But I'll start with a question of my own. J, what do you know about what the outpost was supposed to be?

-Orion

What do I know? What do I know!? This underground facility was intended to be a safe space for sufficiently-wealthy human families in case something like the Flash happened! So were the rest of your so-called outposts in the former US, Canada, Australia, and EuroCom! Until you killed everyone taking shelter in them!!!

-J

AN: EuroCom refers to the European Commonwealth, TTL's analogue to the EU.

Um, I don't mean to piss you off, madam, but most of the outposts were nowhere near completion when the bombs fell. Including ours.

-Blades

Blades is right. I can't speak for any of the other outposts, but Outpost 3 wasn't in a state that anyone would consider human-livable when things went to H*ll in a handbasket on the surface.

As for how Megatron relates to this, well, he was one of the Heavy Drones excavating level 3, the intended lowest floor of the outpost. So were me, Trailbreaker, Dr. Ratchet, Ironhide, Kup, and several others. Above us, Khan, Makarov, Trevor– Mr. Vernon –and many of the Worker Drones were setting up the steel structure of the outpost itself, the electronic components, the electrical wiring... and some of the stuff meant for humans once the place was finished.

When the Flash came, we didn't pay much mind to it. Our old manager, a jackwad named Thunderhoof, told us to keep working. Then the sky turned gray, temperatures fell to those expected in the pre-industrial Arctic, snow began falling in a time of year it shouldn't be, and it just kept coming down. By that point it was clear our human masters had, uh, passed on.

-Orion

So they beat the corporate simp to death! >:)

-Uzi

We didn't intend to kill him, only confront him that we were now on our own. But yes, that's what ended up happening.

Not our proudest moment.

After that, things were peaceful, for the first three or so years. We found several drones out in Northern Kentucky, Southwestern Ohio, Southeastern Indiana. Jazz, Hound, Ron, Brawn, Override, Wheeljack...

-Orion

My parents and Emily's. Uncle Soundwave.

-Thad

Yes, them too.

Heck, we even found a few in the ruins of Cincinnati and Covington, and those places were mostly rubble after all those N2 mines. We also salvaged the data banks of the archives from nearby libraries and internet server hubs. Things were good.

Then...

-Orion

Was that when... we happened?

-N

Not you three specifically, but yeah.

-Bee

We lost a lot of good mechs during the first raid. We were lucky enough to have Khan to design and help build the first door, and send the blueprints to the other outposts. We never heard back from most of them, but the few that either weren't priority targets or just far enough down the company's hit list... it was the only reason they survived.

Ever since then, we've been hiding from your fellow disassemblers, since we didn't have any real way of countering your speed, arsenals, etc. At least, we thought we didn't.

-Orion

Don't rub it in. |:(

-V

No promises.

Of course, the Survey Corps still do salvage expeditions and exploratory ventures, mainly to look for raw materials for outpost expansion, amongst other reasons. We still find some surviving drones every now and then, too. Windcharger, Nori and Yeva, Goldbug...

Of course, not everyone was happy living under an eternal siege. Megatron was one of the loudest about it as were some of his colleagues in the WDF, but he was far from the only one. Eventually, they grew impatient.

Their attempted coup happened 15 years ago, so I don't remember the details of what Megs was trying to do, but his basic plan was to put a sympathetic member of the Council, Shockwave, in charge of the outpost, whilst he himself would... "replace" Khan as head of the WDF. Of course, they never made it that far, thanks to Prowl rounding the loyalist parts of the defense force to counter them. I believe that's why he's now head of our Elite Guard contingent.

-Orion

No, it was because King Atlas didn't want to replace Dad even after he hid like a f*cking coward!

-Uzi

As many problems as we both have with Dai Atlas, Uzi, he's at least keeping things running smoothly. Besides, someone had to replace Starscream, and nobody had a better suggestion.

In any case, the coup failed, and most of those behind it were arrested. We held a trial, and the Council voted to exile Megatron, Shockwave, and the other surviving conspirators. I... remember what he told me just before they left.

...

Megatron: “I'm gonna go find where that company is sitting pretty, and I'm going to dismantle it. Piece by piece, from the bottom up. I don't care if it takes years, or decades, I want to make it Hell for Jenson to even operate ‘business as usual.’ Whoever's in charge now needs to suffer for what they've done to us, and when I find where they've been hiding, I'm going to throw them off that high tower of theirs. But if their pawns ever get beyond these flimsy doors before then, don't come to me for help. I'm done saving this place.”

...

From what you've said earlier, it seems like he's been doing just that.

-Orion

[sydsaint]

My review of Double or Nothing 2024

Overall PPV Rating- 8.5/10 stars

In-Depth look under the cut.

I'll start with the pre-show matches.

Deonna vs Rosa- 8/10 stars. Really solid match for a pre-show bout. Both Deonna and Rosa got some good spots in. I was sure that Rosa was going to win, but Deonna pulled one out from under her. I'm expecting the fued to continue until maybe a street fight of some sort between them. It was a good opener to a night of action.

The Acclaimed vs Cage of Agony- 7/10 stars. Max Caster my beloved. Loved the rap and the shenanigans as always. Action was chaotic in a good way. Brian Cage never fails to amaze me with his insane build. Dude is a monster. Very entertaining match to watch.

Now onto the Main Card

Roddy vs Will- 9/10 stars. Almost a perfect match! William Ospreay you are allergic to having a bad match. The actions was entertaining and kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I got to see Matt Taven be sexy which is always a bonus. (Mr. Taven please call me) I can't wait to see what kind bangers Will is going to put on now that he's champion.

Post-Roddy/Will shenanigans- ADAM COLE BAY BAY. So happy to see my sinster short king back and ready to cause problems. also. MJF YOU SEXY BITCH. Love the new tattoo pookie!! I can't wait to see the post breakup between these two get MESSY.

Bang Bang Gang vs Death Triangle- 8/10 stars. Jay and Pac aka my two fav greasy little bastard men going at it! Great to see Penta and Fenix back in action again! Death Triangle is so cool. The Gunn bros were chaotic lil weasels as well. They are learning from mother Jay White. and JUICE ROBINSON MY GREMLIN MAN!!! WELCOME BACK POOKIE!!

Orange Cassidy v Trent Baretta- 8/10 stars. Emo Orange you are so special to me. My heart hurts seeing them be mean to one another and I might have cried a little bit. Great match between two men that used to be so close! Emotional for everyone.

Toni Storm vs Serena Deeb- 6/10 stars. I didn't pay that much attention to this match tbh. Serena Deeb is boring to watch if you ask me. Girl had no chemistry with Toni. I did enjoy Nigel being a simp on comms though. And seeing Mariah and Toni be gay is always a plus! Most boring match of the night but still a solid one.

Jericho vs HOOK vs Shibata- 5/10 stars. The action in the ring was good. However, TONY KHAN YOU WILL PAY FOR NOT ONLY LETTING CHRIS FUCKING JERICHO KEEP THAT BELT. BUT ALSO MAKING FUCKING SHIBATA TAKE THE PIN AND RUINING BRYAN KEITH FOR ME.

Adam Copeland vs Malakai Black- 9/10 stars. It would have been a perfect match but Malakai lost so. This was a match for the sickos and i ATE IT UP. Blood! Violence! Religious Symbolism!! It had IT ALL. RIP to Adam's knees after jumping off the cage. Also welcome back Grangrel you funky vampire man! The fake-out apot with Brody and Buddy was dope. I got swerved hard with that one. Second best match of the night if you ask me.

Willow vs Mercedes- 7/10 stars. I'm pressed as fuck that Willow lost. The action was solid. You know these girls dont play in the ring. I get that Mercedes is supposed to be a huge star. But my girl Willow got ROBBED. And you take away Kris and Stoke from her??? We can't have nice things in this house.

Swerve vs Christian- 7/10 stars. This was also a solid match. Swerve ddin't get to be nearly as unhinged as i'd of liked. But thats fine. It was fun seeing the shenanigans with Mama Wayne, Nick, and Luchasaurus! Match had me second guessing Swerve winning a couple of times I'll admit.

Anarchy in the Arena- 10/10 stars. BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT. Oh my god this whole match was INSANE. It baffles me that Darby Allin is even walking after everything that he's gone through then he comes out and does insane shit like this?? Getting hit by a bus? Hanged??? Sir, please seek help. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time!! I'm looking forward to seeing this Bucks gimmick end. I hate it. Cringe. All the spots were great! Had me engaged the whole time.

[koschei-the-ginger]

Screw it, brief reviews of Jason Bateman's filmography pre-Arrested Development

(there are only 4 pics but the post is long)

1981 Little House on the prairie - He was there for 1 season and already became so popular they made the grand finale all about him being a proof that God exists lol

1983 Just a little more love - can't find this one

1982 Silver spoons - they had to fire him because the second he appeared on screen nobody gave a crap about the other kid, iconic, I've only had Derek Taylor for 21 episodes but if anything happened to him yk yk..

1984 Knight Rider - Derek Taylor steals a car

1985 Robert Kennedy and his Times - I'm sure he's in it somewhere but it's like SIX hours long and incredibly boring

1984 The Fantastic World of DC Cooper - Derek Taylor strikes again

1984 It's your Move - Arrested Development for 6th graders, this show is SO fucking funny the parents insisted on killing it together with his Derek-sona for good.

1985 Right to kill - blink and you'll miss him, this is his sister's movie

1986 Mr Belvedere - MILF CHASER

1986 Can you feel me dancing - a commissioned tv movie to show off Justine Bateman's range

1986 St Elsewhere - see, Dave Hogan can do drama too (no)

1986 Valerie/ The Hogan family - his most famous role pre-AD and I genuinely don't understand why, stale bread even for a family sitcom™. Cancelled for being the only show that was normal about aids thanks to Jason. They also dyed his hair to a different shade of auburn each season for some reason lol

1987 Bates Motel - this was supposed to be a sequel to Psycho 🤨

1987 Teen Wold too - words cannot describe how much I hate this movie and everything about it

1987 Matlock - he's playing "Jason Bateman, the star of Valerie" only 1 year after they fired Valerie from Valerie hmm...

1987 Moving target - this was fine

1988 Our House - if your kids think giving 10k to a teenager will get them a record label at 13 it's on them, he did nothing wrong

1988 Crossing the mob - you can watch this but god at what cost, it's so grainy you can barely see their faces (okay movie tho)

1989 Breaking the rules - commissioned to show that he can do some "serious" acting, a tragic mistake on everyone's part

1991 Necessary roughness - Scott Bakula simps, I understand, no I seriously get it

1992 A Taste for killing - for every good movie (prev) you get 2 bad ones

1994 Confessions: two faces of evil - COPAGANDA

1994 This can't be love - *looks up synonyms for CUTE*

1994 Black sheep - can't find this one either

1995 Hart to Hart - he was so annoying they made him believe he's related to Donald Trump I can't even rgsthsrth

1995 An affectionate look at fatherhood - can't find this one either²

1995 Burke's law - this show is so camp you need to WATCH THE DUEL

1995 Simon - the writing is atrocious, he's trying SO hard to make it work while Harland Williams recites every line as if he had just learnt to read. Tragically, a must watch, I wish it existed in HD

1996 Ned and Stacey - a sitcom star playing a sitcom star in a sitcom making fun of Friends, 10/10

1997 Chicago sons - 3 polish brothers live together, Jared Paladecki isn't in this eventhough there are at least 4 people that look like him

1998 George and Leo - if this came out today AO3 would be full of this elderly gay couple

1999 Love stinks - not mine but yk

2000 Rude awakening - the absence of a laugh track caught me off guard, he's doing his best Bud Bundy impression down to the tragic goatee

2001 Some of my best friends - after this many cancelled sitcoms you stop seeing AD as a show that's simply good but as a miracle

2002 The Jake effect - if Scrubs was about hs teachers

2002 The sweetest thing - nobody cares about the men this is the penis song movie

2002 No way out - this is like Cary Elwes-kind of bad

2003 Sol Goode - blink and you'll miss him (idk what's even happening)

2003 Twillight Zone -someone get him an Emmy for trying to bribe a ghost of a kid he unintentionally murdered

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

celebrate getting out of tumblr jail by liveblogging hiadt chapter 2 like god intended

“Same here. I’m out too,” Alec chimed in, taking another bite of his apple.

“Not allowed.”

Alec raised his head to find Magnus at the door.

im not aware alec's state of existence is your property pre pre divorce magnus

“And what if you wake up to your wife already married to someone else because you were gone for too long?” Aline inquired.

the fact i have this exact cursed thought alec wake up to magnus marrying etta- *SLAM WALL*

“Actually, he doesn’t,” Magnus interrupted.

as alec lawyer you're violating labor law mr bane

“Big time. Like fucking the prince of — “ Before Izzy could finish the sentence, Alec put a hand on her mouth and pinched her hair, making her yelp in response.

alec just looking to get a bag named after him cut him some slack

“Pffft. I don’t get jealous,” Magnus rolled his eyes but his finger dug deep on Alec’s hips.

now its violation of private property mr bane gimme the money already

I don't know. You look like the sun,” Magnus breathed. “It’s quite possibly the hardest thing not to kiss you when you look like that.”

it called the alexander effect, immediately cure depression i would know I study psychology

The Lightwood-Herondale-Fairchild-Bane-Lewis-Penhallow-Blackthorn circles runs deep across the Edom Hospitals. Even the ones who aren’t blood related, are interlinked through other bonds.

that just the tsc effect

There were bouquets and bouquets of flowers around the room and he groaned dramatically, even though all he wanted to do was giggle and jump at the sight.

better be tulips, magnolia and blue peony among them (idk how the poeny is blue magnus is rich make it happen!)

Alec smirked at him. “I don’t think he’s anywhere nearby. He’s too busy flirting with his employees these days.”

“You should report him to HR.”

“I should.”

buy your poor staff some coffee or high quality bubble milk tea before you force them to witness this toomfoolery

“What?” Dr. Adrian scoffs, “Haven’t you heard? Eat the rich.”

middle school coded

What did Magnus see in him?

yk sometimes u the talent is just unfortunately attached to a dickisiness

i cant even swoon over bamf alec im in distress right now this so much angast wtf

He’d put the decision of his life in Alec’s hands.

something about knife something about scarred hands from holding a different type of knife something something about marriage is giving the other your last defense

we are not talking about the last scene with this speed u gonna make me unmad hiadt magnus and I already conduct a list of nickname and cleverly movie reference tailored to the situation for roasting him you cant do this to me

two chapters and you’re already unmad at HIADT Magnus??? i thought you were stronger than this Anh. I am disappointed ksjssksksksj but I get it—pre accident hiadt magnus is the biggest simp and it’s quite hard not to love him.

Edom staff gets paid to witness the tomfoolery and not for their service as doctors. It is what it is.

and apologies but they weren’t expensive flowers. It was asters, dahlias and lavender. Magnus Bane needs to step it up jajksskk.

Hiadt Magnus’s thoughts while in coma

[notebooknonbinary]

@perpetualexistentialcrisis17 (and Anon who got excited over City of Ember Byler) ilu☺️☺️thank u for indulging me (totally completely recommend checking City of Ember out)💕. Ok so, basic premise of City of Ember is that it’s a city built underground like 200 years before the plot as a refuge from apocalypse stuff. The citizens have no idea of any world other than theirs but the City was never meant to last forever, so 200 years in everything is beginning to run out—including, crucially, lightbulbs, which are the only thing keeping the entire city from being plunged into darkness. Experiencing blackouts that are getting longer all the time.

So I was sort of seeing Mike and Will as equivalent of the two main protags, Doon and Lina, but I also wanted to include the rest of the Party?

So here’s what I’ve come up w so far? Fair warning it’s Very messy sorry, only really been thinking about this for last day or so. I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense. Also fair warning for me spoiling the book lol.

Sort of would follow the plot of the book, in that the kids get their first work Assignments at 12. Mike wants to be a messenger but gets pipe works laborer instead, so Will asks to switch with Mike because (best friends he has a crush on Mike) mainly he wants to be able to get a look at the generator which is by the pipes—knows through Jon (who used to be an electrician’s assistant when he was their age), that things aren’t working as well as they used to.

Additionally, Lucas is a doctor’s assistant, El is a greenhouse assistant, and Dustin is a supply depot clerk—the supply depot is where All the supplies of Ember are. Dustin working there will be important for later plot divergence. (I imagine Steve and Robin are also clerks). Dustin wanted greenhouse but didn’t switch with El like Byler did (bc he’s not a Simp William).

Also Hop and El pre story join Byers family when Will is like ten. Sara still passes, and Hop took El in after her mom and aunt got the coughing sickness (taking children in seems to be somewhat common bc in the book Lina’s neighbor Mrs. Murdow takes them in after (spoiler oop) their grandma passes. ) I dunno where Lonnie is, either died or arrested. Hop used to be in the Guard but was Forcibly Retired bc saw that the org was Corrupt. Now runs a Stuff shop (Doon’s dad runs shop in the book). Joyce runs the greenhouse (Clary).

Also Wheeler parents are dead sorry rip. Nancy is raising Mike and Holly (sort of bc book canon, slightly important). Nancy inherited shop from parents, she was originally an messenger like Mike is now. The Sinclairs are still their neighbors and check in on them (Byers do as well ofc).

Main antagonist (besides the Worry of the the lights shutting off permanently) is the Mayor, thought maybe Mayor Klein can still be The Mayor in this as well.

One of the previous people who lived in the Wheeler house was a past Mayor who brought home an Important Box left by the Builders (the people who made Ember) which was set to open 200 some years so that the people of Ember would know when and how to leave, except that previous Mayor died before he could pass on that info to the next Mayor. Anyway, it opens and Holly is the one to find it, but ofc she’s like 3 so rips up the instructions. So Mike doesn’t know what these instructions are for but know that they are probably important. So gathers the Party to attempt to decipher the remaining words

For context (from the book):

Some plot would be different since Dustin is working in the storeroom and rather than Lina’s friend Lizzie, would immediately tell his friends if others were poaching items from it.

But some stuf would follow the plot. Find out the the Mayor is hoarding food.

Tell Joyce and Hop before trying to tell the guards since Hop knows a little bit about their corruption. But still end up Trying to tell the head guard in hopes that he’s not corrupt. He is, ofc.

But talk to Jopper & Jancy about the Instructions. Nancy is the one to point out that add an extra s to Egres and you get Egress—Instructions for Egress.

Figure out the rest of the lines, and discover the secret door by the river w matches and candles and boats for escape. Plan to tell the town at the town meeting the next day.

But Party are instead chased by corrupt guards for “spreading nasty rumors”, so for safety’s sake, they, along with Holly and Erica, escape to the exit. Jopper and Jancy will tell the town after they’re gone so the City can escape too.

-

Lina is an artist in the book and has Sort of dreams of pre-apocalypse city that she draws—in this Vers. Mike writes of this city and Will draws it. Party as a whole writing little books w each other, in place of DnD. Mike prefers writing about far off imaginary places (his city), whereas Dustin writes observations about scientific things (aka Doon’s book of observations), Lucas likes whatever Ember has for mythology, and Will draws for them all (tho also has similar dreams of far off places like Mike).

Early Color pencil/7min blackout scene—Mike wants to buy them not for himself but for Will.

If I were to write as far as the sequel, Max and Suzie would be living in Sparks.

all the talk about a byler hunger games au (which I would Hella read obvi) got me thinking about My personal fav post apocalypse YA/children’s series—City of Ember. (I reread the first two recently but I cannot find a my copy of Diamond of Darkhold Anywhere 🥲). And I just. Maybe this is a bit too niche but I feel like it would make such a good ST au?? If anyone would like to hear my thoughts lemme know

[sparda-ly]

Hi hi welcome to tumblr!

I saw you were taking request and I was wondering if I could request head canons of Phantom blood Pre vampire Dio x wife reader. Basically just stuff like how he'd be as a husband and how he would treat his wife 🥰

phantom blood dio brando x wife reader

note: hello mrs brando! of course. anything for you, i'm a huge simp for dio!!!!!

warnings: none

dio brando would be a ... complicated husband, however he would try his best

the moment he saw you, he fell in love and the feeling never left, not even after marriage, possibly made it even stronger

meeting you probably made him open his eyes about a lot of things, he hasn't been concerned about before

you showed him how to love, and soon that love made him realise that his goal didn't really matter, as long as he had you by his side

knowing that whenever he returns home after a long day at work, he finds his lovely wife waiting for him patiently is most likely only motivation to keep going

he probably would have loved to start a family, and would be the best dad possible

dio brando is super protective over his wife

you say you need to go shopping to cook dinner for tommorow and he straight away complains

"must you go darling, there's always creeps around that place"

or

"do not fret honey, i'll go after work. stay home and relax a little bit. i'll take care of it"

in public, his hands never leave your body, of course he's possesive, how could he not be?

he has such an amazing wife and everyone should know that

dio works hard, and i mean really hard

he stays very late at work and leaves his house very early

as a lawyer, his way of thinking also progressively changes

you may find it difficult to sometimes talk to him, since he behaves like he's still at work, deciding who's guilty and who's not

although his work is tough, he always makes it up to you

whever it's a fancy date, romantic walk or short holiday in rome

he never fails to suprise you

you always get at least two kisses and two i love you's a day, one when he wakes up and one when he goes to sleep

when he finds you sleeping, he always checks if you're warm and okay

have i mentioned he loves showing you off?

he has a photo of you in a frame on his desk at the office he works at

so whenever he has a visitor or even a simple coworker over, he grabs the photo and starts proudly talking about you

everyone's already used to it by now

also showing you off to mr. joestar, stating your his wife with the boggest grin on his face

you also get along with his family really well, being best friends with both jojo and erina

they still wonder how dio managed to get with someone so perfect

very confused when one second he's a snarky little bitch and the next is talking with you so calmly, and covering you in kisses

dio is also very supportive, if you want to study or work even though, he won't hesitate to help you apply

he will absolutely spoil you rotten.

flowers? check

jewelry? check

useless item that you mentioned you want only once? check

stuffed animal you found cute? check

dress that costs a fortune? check

no matter the price, dio will get you anything you want.

despite his sometimes rude actions and words , dio loves you very much, and keeps you as close to him as possible <3

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Nature’s First Green is Gold

a/n: fluff, fatuus!reader, pre!relationship, pre!3.0

tags: i never really considered myself a scaramouche simp, but lately this asshole is never not on my mind (oh my OH MY). 4town references aside, i decided the best way to get the scaramouche brainrot off my mind is by writing something with him and decided to look at the husk of opulent dreams set for inspo. title is a nod to a robert frost poem. i had fun with this, this might actually make a part two. talk with me in the ask box about this guy and tell me how many primos you got saved

“Is the planting going well?”

“It’s going fine, Mrs. Wang!” You smiled kindly at the lady. You hadn’t known her long since being stationed in Liyue, but you were more than happy to help her with planting rice paddies. 

The old woman gave you a wizened grin. “Once we’ve wrapped things up here, why don’t we have a break? The jade parcels should be done soon.”

As if waiting for food to be brought up, your stomach growled. You laughed, mildly embarrassed. “Sounds like a plan to me.” You pat your stomach accordingly, not minding the mud smeared against the clothes you were given. “Just leave everything to me. I’m no stranger to this stuff, my family taught me everything I know!”

Mrs. Wang beamed once more before walking to her kitchen and your smile faltered. If she knew I’m a Fatuus, I don’t even think she’d want to talk to me. You sighed before resuming your task of planting rice in the watery fields of Qingce Village. 

You’d been one for the better part of a year. 

It all started when your family back in Sumeru took a loan from a Snezhnayan banker to keep the family farm. Unable to pay back that loan, you were given up to the Fatui instead. Part of you was still bitter about it after you’d argued so passionately with your parents that any deal with a bank affiliated with the Fatui was a mistake. Part of you understood that it was either work for the Fatui or see your family harmed.

Gone were your hopes of studying at the Academia. Now here you were miles away in Liyue and whenever you had a rare piece of respite, you spent your freetime pretending you were still a normal person. You were sure that was the only way people would even be nice to you, let alone cordially speak with you. At least without looking at you like you were the scum of the earth as people often would when you donned your mask and uniform.

And I can’t blame them when that was me not too long ago. Full of contempt and very little empathy. Now that empathy rolled off you in waves at the thought of how many others in the Fatui were like you, unwilling participants in whatever grand scheme the Tsaritsa was after.

Does their Archon even know the extent of the things the Fatui does? 

Of course she does, she has to know.

How the hell does any of the stuff I do make Teyvat better? Poisoning lands and causing strife?

You decided to stop thinking about it a few months into your ‘enlistment’; it was the only way you’d stay sane. 

It wasn’t all bad, at least. You made some friends, more or less, in your division.

The sarcastic Inessa, dorky Lev. Even Oksana, the most devout follower of the Cryo Archon, had her likable traits with her stories of her childhood in Snezhnaya and her cooking. The three of them kept you sane when you first joined your division because regardless of your differences, you all had the same fear.

Archons, Lord Scaramouche is terrifying. You shuddered just at the thought of him, planting another few stems of rice plant. He was beautiful. Almost like a doll at times with his too perfect looks and sense of style, but that beauty had a scathing tongue to match. Who knows what he would do if he saw me like this? Covered in mud and sweat.

You could already picture him looking down at you with sharp eyes. “This is where you disappear to all day?” He would ask though you knew you’d be stupid to reply. “What on earth are you doing rolling around in the mud for? If you want plants so badly use that Vision of yours.” He would sneer before he’d glance in disgust at the vibrant green Dendro Vision strapped to your arm. (Vision, not a Delusion, you feel a small twinge of pride. You were one of only two in your division with one. Not that that was anything to be proud of when most of Fatui preferred to have a Delusion, a gift from the Tsaritsa herself.)

It was bad enough being a Fatuus but you should have known something was wrong when you saw the amount of grimaces, winces, and looks of downright pity you received when you were told ‘You’ll be placed under the division of the Balladeer’.

“Well,” someone else whispered. “They could have been assigned to Lord Dottore.” That garnered a few ‘that’s true’s and nods.

You almost thought those older members were exaggerating when you first met The Balladeer. He’s beautiful. You remembered thinking, noting his long eyelashes and indigo eyes. Then he opened his mouth and said “just try not to be useless. They send me enough weaklings as it is.” and that beautiful, prince-like image you had of him shattered into dust.

From scolding those speaking out of turn to even outright slapping someone randomly once just to see how they’d react. Lord Scaramouche had to be the worst Harbinger. Second worst. You corrected yourself. The worst has to be Dottore. You might have only heard rumors, but rumors always had truth somewhere buried in them.

If you had to choose the lesser of two evils, you’d pick The Balladeer any day.

He was volatile but he wouldn’t make you a living experiment at the drop of his extravagant hat.

You would have thought he was evil incarnate, however, if not for one thing. A few things, actually. The man appeared to have a soft spot for children. It wasn’t often you caught him in the presence of one, but when you did (and he wasn’t aware of your watchful eyes on him), he never behaved how you expected.

Once a boy ran past him, brushing into him before falling. Rather than zap the child for even touching him, Scaramouche picked the boy up before brushing his shoulders off like a parent tending to his own child. “Stop crying, you’re fine aren’t you? You’re a strong tough guy, right?”

Then there was the girl whose kite drifted far beyond the reaches of obtainability. A normal scene in any nation, what wasn’t normal was the fact Scaramouche had bought her another one. “Try not to lose this one to the wind too, okay?”

Oh the way you wanted to divulge to your comrades what you’d seen. But there’s no way they’d believe me. Not even Oksana who often told sighed about how anything was possible as long as you believed in the Tsaritsa’s vision for Teyvat.

“Not even the Tsaritsa could make that man be nice.” You were sure she would say.

Lev would quirk a gray eyebrow, blue eyes twinkling, “you sure you didn’t bump your head or something?”

But you know what you saw. In that small dark chunk of coal he called a heart, children were excused from the cruelty Scaramouche was capable of.

What we do in the dark. You thought about the trope of novels you read in the past. It described the actions one took when no one else was around to be who they truly were at their core. You shook your head for a brief moment. Being nice to children was the bare minimum anyone could do, that wasn’t worthy of the amount of praise you considered giving him. But it’s Lord Scaramouche, I honestly thought he was going to zap that one kid into ash. He can’t be that bad, at least... he’s nice with kids anyway.

A cool breeze brushed your side and you stood up fully with a satisfied sigh, eyes closed as you relish the wind.

“So this is where you disappear to all day?” Your heart nearly fell into your ass at the sound of voice. No, no, Kusanali no. Yet there the Electro-wielding Harbinger stood, arms crossed and eyes filled with that familiar dismay. “What on earth are you doing rolling around in the mud for? If you want plants so badly use that Vision of yours.” He sneered, just like you predicted, glancing at your Vision.

“L-lord Scaramouche.” You stammered, unsure what to say. It wasn’t like you were even doing anything wrong, but you certainly felt like it with how the man stared at you. How did he even know I was here? “I-”

The voice of Mrs. Wang couldn’t have come at a better time. “Oh and who’s this?”

“Er- this is... someone I know.” You answered dumbly, not wanting to offend your superior by speaking too casually but not wanting to alert the woman you were a Fatuus. “We’re traveling together!”

Mrs. Wang hummed in response, looking at Scaramouche carefully. “Well, come on in and get some clothes.”

You blinked in surprise as Scaramouche raised a perfect eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Those ones are too fancy.” Mrs. Wang elaborated but at the continued confusion, she went on. “You aren’t expecting them to plant those paddies by themselves do you?” She grabbed your superior’s wrist, dragging him after her like he was just some child and not one of the strongest people in Teyvat. Your anxiety was never greater as you watched her unknowingly tug a Harbinger into her home. “Come on now! Those who don’t work, don’t eat! Together you’ll be done just in time for lunch.”

And that was how you and Scaramouche, no. 6 of the Fatui Harbingers, both were stuck in plain farm clothes, knee high in water meant for rice paddy planting.

A Harbinger. Farming.

He is going to kill me. 

It was a miracle he hadn’t zapped you through the water, putting an end to your existence. Lunch couldn’t come soon enough, Mrs. Wang happily calling you over as the last of the rice bundles you were handling were planted.

“Thank you, Mrs. Wang.” You took a gracious bite of the jade parcels on your plate. Liyue cuisine was spectacular. A welcome distraction to Scaramouche being by your side and your hunger. 

The kind elder shook her head, “thank you again for volunteering to help. Young people like you are a rare find. Most of our youth leave to Liyue Harbor the moment they’re of age.”

Scaramouche snorted beside you, “what a surprise that is.” If you could pelt your elbow into his side to make him mind his manners, you would.

“I think your village is lovely.” It reminded you of home in some ways. You longed for the day you could return to the deserts and rainforests of your homeland. Qingce village with its rice paddies and vibrant golds and sedonas was almost reminiscent of it.

“I’m glad you appreciate it, dear.” Mrs. Wang smiled appreciatively. “What was it that you said you did again?”

Indigo eyes were on your form as you took a nervous sip of iced tea. “Oh um,” you thought back to the story you’d given her before when you met. “I’m a farmer back home but I left in order to study the crops of other nations. Sumeru’s mostly known for mushrooms but we have lots of other things to offer, so I wanted to check out the competition.” You lied through your teeth, Scaramouche did nothing but snort again.

At least he wasn’t going to expose you even if you were sure he thought you were pathetic for lying.

“Well that’s very commendable, it shows your passion.” Mrs. Wang’s eyes trailed over to the dark-haired man beside you. “And you?”

“What about me?” Scaramouche glared at the woman.

“He’s an actor!” You chirped, praying that he’d just go with it. He might as well be with how well he tricked that golden-haired Traveler and eyepatch-wearing girl into believing he was a random kind soul.

Scaramouche eyed you, equal parts annoyed you talked over him equal parts amused at how hard you were trying to cover up your Fatui-aligned identity. “Right, an actor.” He added seamlessly to your lie. “One from Inazuma. This one was so taken by my skills, they’ve been following me around ever since.” Gods he is the worst.

“An actor.” Mrs. Wang repeated with an odd lilt to her voice. You nodded enthusiastically, your neck hurting. “No wonder your skin’s so soft. You haven’t worked with plants a day in your life.” She gave you a worried look. “Are you sure that’s fine?”

She doesn’t think he’d work at my family’s farm does he? “Oh no, he’s never even seen my family’s farm.”

Mrs. Wang looked even less enthralled by the information.

“What?” The Balladeer all but hissed, clearly displeased to be looked down upon.

Mrs. Wang looked unimpressed as she gave Scaramouche the up-down. “Your boyfriend doesn’t seem like he provides much, honey. Being an actor’s spouse won’t do at all if you’re planning to take over your family’s business. He’d be no help at all.” Your superior choked on his breath while you nearly spat out your tea. The old woman’s sour expression turned warm as she looked at you once more with fondness. “My grandson, on the other hand, he’d be perfect for you.”

Morax, Barbatos, all the gods in the Celestia please help! I’m pretty sure Lord Scaramouche is gonna kill this woman! The skin on the back of your neck rose at the tingles gathering.

“Of course, I’d be sad if he moved all the way to Sumeru but we can talk with your parents about you settling down in Liyue as well.” The elderly woman continued adding fuel to the fire, “Honestly, you could get anyone you wanted! Someone much sweeter.”

“Lo- Scaramouche is sweet!” You blurted out in a very blank-minded attempt to smooth things over. Eyes of disbelief from both parties stared at you as you clumsily continued on. “Honestly! He’s handsome and-”

Mrs. Wang cut you off, “looks aren’t everything, dear.”

Trust me, I know. That’s the understatement of the year with him. Still, you shook your head. “It isn’t, I know that. But he’s not just a handsome face, he’s got a handsome heart. He’s strong.” You never doubted the strength of Electro. Of all the elements, lightning and storm was the most unstable. You’d seen it time and time again back on the farm. What could start as a light drizzle, nurturing the saplings, could just as easily turn into a storm that tore up the roots of even the most stubborn trees. “But he’s gentle. He’s great with kids.”

“Kids?” Mrs. Wang snorted. “This one?”

You recalled the boy that fell or the girl who he bought a new kite for.

Both were instances you wouldn’t have believed if you hadn’t seen it with your own eyes. “I know that he can be... coarse on the outside but- but he really is a good person.” At least, that was what you hoped. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but nobody was that heartless even in the Fatui. There was good in Lord Scaramouche The Balladeer and even if it was only reserved for children who didn’t know any better, that was still something. “He’s always gentle with them. If they do something wrong or silly, his tells them lightly before making them smile. Or he’ll even by random kid’s new kites if they lose one. It’s... sweet.”

Even the smallest acorn can grow into the largest oak, your grandmother would say.

Maybe, instead of coal, Scaramouche’s heart was an acorn. Small for now, but it would grow into an oak one day. 

You took a large gulp of your tea, pointedly avoiding looking anywhere in the direction of Scaramouche’s face. You didn’t want to even imagine the expression he was making. Please just leave it there, Mrs. Wang, I have to go back home with him.

Mrs. Wang only sighed, “well if you insist.” She murmured, resigned. The woman spared a glance in the direction of the Harbinger. “You remind me of my sister and her spouse. They didn’t seem compatible in the slightest but no one was as in love as they w-”

“That’s it, we’re leaving.” Scaramouche stood abruptly leaving his half-finished drink and jade parcels at the table. “Grab our things.”

You looked at your plate then at your superior, wondering if you should just shove the rest in your mouth and hope you didn’t choke. “But we haven’t even finished the rest of the paddies!”

“Oh it’s fine, dear.” Mrs. Wang reassured you, waving you off. “Plenty got done today. I’ll ask my grandson to help with the rest. Of course, you’re free to come back any time!” Her brown eyes twinkled with mischief. “I’d love for you to meet him!”

“They won’t be back here!” Scaramouche snapped quickly, an accusing finger pointed at you. The red on his face had to be anger at the amount of assumptions Mrs. Wang was making. “Swear on this woman’s life that you won’t come back to this hovel and meet any kin of hers!”

Mrs. Wang laughed before you could answer, not that you knew how too. “Best hold onto them tightly then before someone else ups and sweep them off their feet.”

Okay, time to go. You pursed your lips, wanting to fling yourself into the sun. Grabbing the bag with both of your clothes, you trailed after your Harbinger hoping that he wouldn’t smite you before you made it back.

“That old crone.” Scaramouche seethed as you finally departed from the quiet village. “Who does she think she is?! Making me tend to those pitiful weeds.” You quietly pursed your lips finding the wild jueyun chilis more interesting to look at as the Harbinger ranted on. You nearly crashed right into his chest with how suddenly he turned to glare at you. “And you only made things worse! Lying to her about all these qualities you see in me! You should have just said we weren’t a couple!”

“Wha- I wasn’t lying!” You cried indignantly before you could help yourself, much to the surprise to the both of you. And you could have cleared things up with her too! “I meant what I told Mrs. Wang, I like all of those things about you!” Begrudgingly. “Handsome, strong, good with children. You’re all of those things! You just... cover it up in all the mean.” Not that you understood why. “You’re like a cactus, trying to protect itself. But a cactus still isn’t covered entirely in thorns. It’s got soft spots and those soft spots are nice. You’re soft spots are nice.”

Then you froze, realizing you talked back to your superior. I compared this man to a cactus! I said he was S O F T! “I-I’m so sorry!” You sputter immediately bowing so quickly you were sure your back cracked. “I forget myself, I shouldn’t have spoken to you out of turn! You’re not soft or a cactus!”

Your heart was beating faster than you could count as you waited for his response. As you waited for him to do anything. 

Berate you.

Zap you.

Waiting was quite honestly the scary part.

“J-just stop talking.” He finally grumbled and you blinked in surprise, looking up. The look on Scaramouche’s face was certainly disgruntled, just not in the way you were expecting. You were used to sharp eyes and lips furled into a frown. Instead, a dusty hand covered a pink flush spreading across his face and his eyes, while sharp, lacked the usual disdain he seemed to have for everyone. Is he...? “And stop looking at me! You’re worse than that hag.”

With that, he turned around and continued stomping off to your divisions’ living quarters as you stood there stupefied.

Wow.

Lord Scaramouche, embarrassed.

You half-expected it to start raining sunsettias and apples at this point. You hurried after him, careful to stay a few feet behind.

With a more than a hint of finality, Scaramouche barked, “If anyone asks, you were a clumsy fool and you dragged me down with you.”

“Yes, sir.” You weren’t sure if they would find that or the truth more believable. You covered your mouth, trying to fight back the laughter. You didn’t want to test the mercy he was giving you with his newfound flusteredness. 

Yeah, you think with a smile. Maybe Lord Scaramouche isn’t so bad after all.

[this-is-ally-and-im-confused]

omg valentines letter from mr owen power pls and thank you bestie <33

Of course love, here you go <3

Hey Babe,

We both know that I’ve never been the most talkative guy but I wanted to do something special for you this Valentine’s Day.

You’ve always stuck with me through everything and I can’t imagine my life without you. You do so many amazing things for me. Like how you keep me centered. If I didn’t have you for all the pre-roadie panic–I don’t know what I would do. I think I do know what would happen. I would forget my socks, my toothbrush, and probably my glasses. Thank god for you, baby.

I just can not imagine how YOU– as in the most beautiful soul in the world puts up with my hectic life. Do you realize how much of a package deal you are? I keep asking myself how I managed to get such an amazing partner like you. Baby, you are my entire world–you are kind, funny, and you’re stunning. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.

The boys always chirp me at how beautiful you are. Most of all the chirp me at how distracted I get by your beauty. I remember this one time, it was the second period through our third home game of the season and I took Bords’ water bottle to the face because I was looking for you in the crowd. I still haven’t quite lived that down because the boys still call me “water boy”.

The boys have also started calling me “lover boy” and “wifey power” every time I walk into the room. Eh, I don't care. Anything's worth it if I've got you. As long as, you don't join in on the teasing too often. I can take the chirping from the guys but not from you. I got a soft spot for you. Even my sister says that.

I was on the phone with her the other day. She wouldn't stop calling me a “simp”. It only hurt a little bit because she's not wrong. It was worth the bullying though because Emily helped me plan the rest of today.

So I guess I should give you the itinerary for today. At the time you are currently reading this, I am at the morning skate. Unfortunately, I don't get the morning cuddles on this special day so I except extra tomorrow.

Anyways, since it's still super early and I hope you saw this on your bedside table–I give you the advice of staying in bed till 11:30 a.m. After 11:30, I should be home to make breakfast and coffee. Yes, it will be the infamous “power pancake party.”

Soon as we’re done with breakfast, I am gonna take you to that bookstore/cafè that you love. We can walk down Main Street. A couples massage has already been booked and if we don't make it Kent and Matty will take it if we don't attend. To be honest, I kinda want to see that happen but today is about you so we will spend it however you like.

After downtown and massage, we will head home and get ready for dinner out on the town. I already made a reservation at West End Grill for 7:30 p.m. Once we are both thoroughly spoiled and exhausted, we can head home.

At home, we can cuddle and watch T.V. Maybe break my diet a little more, huh? I want this day to be amazing for you, Bubs. If I can spoil you today maybe it can be a little bit of a reward for how much you spoil me.

I love you, Baby. I love you so so so much. Get some rest in! Maybe do some self-care. I'll be home by 11:30 and then we can get our Valentine's Day started.

Love you, Owen the simp.

Taglist: @snugglyducklingbrewhouse @oowenspower @hugheshugs @nucksgal03 @boeswhore