#a secret's worth

[earth-ambassador-jim]

My brain has assigned "The Draw" by Bastille to @rosemaidenvixen 's fic "A Secret's Worth", so here's a song art thing. Enjoy!

I am so pleased that Jim's four fingered hand being his right one lined up with the "In my right hand, there's the great unknown" line in the song.

Congrats on finishing your fic @rosemaidenvixen !

[rosemaidenvixen]

A Secret's Worth

Chapter 37: Barbara

Ao3

“Did you remember to pack extra socks and underwear?”

“Mo-om!” Jim’s face turned lobster red as he descended the stairs to the main floor.

Barbara chuckled as she picked up the cooler, holding Jim’s contribution to the potluck, from the dining room table “Sorry sorry I know I’m hovering,” she fell in step behind him once he reach the floor, the two of them heading out the front door “I just worry about you,”

And she was worried. 

It wasn’t like this came out of nowhere, she’d known for over a month this was coming. But the summer had flown by, June and the first chunk of July passing in a flurry of therapy appointments carpools and outings and texts with other parents. And now here they were, Bon Voyage only minutes away. 

The two of them headed down the porch, Barbara’s throat tightening when she saw the van idling by the curb. She was so so worried about Jim going through with this. But she knew that most of her worries were anchored in her own paranoia rather than reality. 

This was perfectly safe, they had a plan in place and Jim was a responsible young man who could take care of himself.

That didn’t make it any easier to let him go.

“I promise it’ll all go ok,” Jim hefted his bag higher over his shoulder “We’ve got a game plan, and I packed four pairs of underwear,”

He flashed her a reassuring smile, making her heart clench in a way that both stung and relieved “I know I know, now let’s not keep Mary’s moms waiting,”

The two of them approached the van. Darci’s grinning head poking out an open window “About time, we were considering leaving without you,”

“No don’t!” Toby’s voice rang out from inside the car “He needs to come with us so I can smoke him at horseshoes!”

Barbara left the kids to it and stepped towards the driver's window, nodding at the two women in the front seat “Julie, Amy, good to see you,”.

“Barbara, good to see you to,” Julie repiled with her own nod “You need a hand?”

“Nope I’ve got it,” Barabra stepped around to the back of the car, popping the trunk with her foot and sliding the cooler inside before shutting it again. Around the side of the car Jim had already placed his overnight bag inside and was about to step in himself.

A surge of emotion overcame her and before she knew what she was doing Barbara darted towards him and snagged Jim in a tight hug.

“Love you kiddo, have fun and stay safe,”

Jim was stiff for a few seconds before he softened into her embrace, returning her hug with one of his own “Love you to mom, I promise I’ll be fine,”

Her heart swelled, Jim nestled snug against her. In that moment Barbara wanted more than anything to hold Jim close and never let him go.

But she let him go, stepping back onto the sidewalk while Jim climbed inside the van. Flashing one final smile towards her before shutting the door. Less than a second later the van pulled away from the curb. Through the open window she could see Jim waving at her as they went.

Barbara tugged her lips up into what she hoped resembled a grin, giving a jerky wave back.

Then the van rounded the corner past a grove of trees, both it and Jim vanishing from sight.

Now it was just Barbara, standing all alone on the side of the road.

Jim was gone, heading the furthest he’d ever been from her reach, and he wouldn’t be coming back for two days.

Stomach going tight and eyes starting to water, Barbara forced herself to pick up her feet and move back towards the house.

This was perfectly safe, Jim was a teenager, a smart mature responsible teenager, he could look after himself.

He wouldn’t be alone, he’d have his friends, and responsible adult supervision.

This was fine. This was necessary. She and Jim needed to learn how to function separately from each other.

But god was it hard.

Jim was far away and if anything changed or something happened and he needed help she wouldn’t be there and she was so so worried.

Barbara stepped through the front door, shutting it behind her and leaning back against the wood. Closing her eyes and pulling in a deep breath.

And that was ok.

She was worried about Jim, and that was ok. It didn’t make her smothering or overbearing or paranoid. It was ok to worry about her son while he was away on an overnight trip. Now what was she going to do with that worry?

Realistically if something did happen she would get a call from Jim or one of his friends or another adult. She should keep her phone fully charged and on her person at all times in case of an emergency, and unless something did happen that was all she could do. But she shouldn’t just sit and stare at the phone all day waiting for it to ring, that would change nothing and help no one.

Fortunately she’d planned ahead on a distraction.

Pushing off the door and striding into the kitchen, Barbara grabbed the spiral notebook and pen off the counter and the totebags off the floor before heading back outside.

Running errands, and not just the grocery store.

First she’d run by the hardware store to pick up spare home repair supplies, then hit the department store for new clothes and sheets, and finally the grocery store to stock up.

With all Barbara had planned she should well and truly be able to distract herself from Jim’s absence for the rest of the day. Of course after she was done….

Well by then enough time should have passed to take the edge off.

Despite these rationalizations, Barbara still felt dark clouds lurking at the edge of her thoughts as she hopped inside the car, tossing her items onto the passenger seat. Visions of all the ways Jim’s little trip could go horribly wrong. Fighting the knee-jerk urge to shove the thoughts away, Barbara tried to address them as she pulled out onto the street.

His secret being exposed, his friends would cover for him.

A medical emergency, those were just as likely to happen here.

Mauled by a bear…well  the bear might actually lose.

The thoughts acknowledged, Barbara now tried to let them flow away. It wasn’t easy but she was getting better. Like Rose said, there was a big difference between acknowledging and working herself into a lather. 

Jim was gone on a two day trip. He was as safe as reasonably possible but she was still worried. And that was ok. Learning to cope with her worries was an important step for both of them. It was still so so hard, but that was ok to.

Barbara found herself saying that a lot lately.

It had been a month and a half yet somehow felt like it happened both yesterday and centuries ago. A month and a half since James had blown everything she thought she knew out of the water, since she’d started seeing Rose, since her entire way of living for over a decade had been flipped on its head. Leaving her adrift in uncharted waters, unsure of where she was headed or what currents would pull her.

A month and a half and Barbara still hadn’t quite found her bearings.

The blue and white Lowes sign came into view as she pulled into the parking lot. Barbara parked at the far end, the walk would be good for her, and grabbed her notebook.

Alright, time to get out of her own head and be productive.

She hopped out of the car and strode into the store.

And her time in the store was very productive. She bought spare light bulbs, nails, and screws. Looked at the fridge and freezer units, they didn’t actively need one right now but it couldn’t hurt to get some ideas for the future, and had a lovely conversation with a man in the PPE section. 

His name was Mike, he was from Milwaukee and he was here for his son’s graduation from engineering school in Los Angeles.

So when Barbara got back in the car she checked her phone, finding no new messages from Jim or the others, and she was pleased to see the better part of two hours had gone by, and she was still more or less put together.

Next stop, Macys.

Macys proved to be much more hectic than Lowes, because apparently July was an appropriate time to start a back to school sale, but despite the crowds Barbara still managed to get everything she came for and a few sale items.

In fact the trip was so busy that it wasn’t until she got back to the car that Barbara realized she hadn’t thought about Jim once during her rush for sheets and sale price t-shirts.

And after checking her phone, seeing no new messages or texts, she realized she didn’t feel bad about that.

Barbara felt not good, but better than she thought she would as she pushed her cart down the aisle at the grocery store. Jim had gone away for the weekend, and while he wouldn’t be back for a while, so far the sky hadn’t fallen, no catastrophe had happened, and no one had called her with bad news. Barbara had been trying to convince herself all day that this was going to be fine, but only now was she really starting to believe tha–

Her cart rounded the corner and her good mood crashing down to the ground and her heart shooting straight up into her throat.

She hadn’t seen him since that awful night, so much time had passed she’d been starting to hope that he’d left town of his own volition, but here he was. Blinking back at her from across the soup aisle.

His nose had a crooked hunch to it that hadn’t been there before, he’d likely never gotten it properly set after it had been broken, but the man in front of her was still unmistakably James.

For the longest time neither one of them said anything, just staring at each other with the creaking of other shoppers' carts and the store’s radio droning around them.

James was gaping, his mouth flapping open and shut like a fish before he finally managed to get words out.

“Barb I…I’m sorry,”

That broke the spell, shattering the bubble that had formed around her mind and letting rationality crash back in.

Seeing him again brought up a whole storm of conflicting emotions, one that she was nowhere near prepared to untangle. But through all the chaos in her mind one thought was clear.

She didn’t want this man anywhere near herself or her child ever again.

Barbara pulled her cart back, turned on her heel, and immediately started walking the opposite direction. From behind she heard James’ shoes slapping against the linoleum as he struggled to catch up.

“Didn’t you hear me? I’m sorry.”

“That’s nice.” Barbara said, please at how sharp and clipped her tone came out, rounding her cart around the edge of the aisle.

“I messed up bad and let you and Jim down, and I’m ready to do whatever it takes to make it up,”

“Good for you.”

This time she heard a falter in his steps, stopping for a few moments before continuing on after her “Look Barb, ever since I left, things have been hard,”

He darted around to the front of her cart, blocking her path and causing her to halt in her tracks “Will’s bar didn’t work out, for the past five years I’ve been working odd jobs and living paycheck to paycheck. And Heather….Heather cheated on me,”

Another step towards her “I need help getting back on my feet, if you could find it in your heart to just let me stay with you for a few months, six tops, I promise I’ll be there for you the way I should have been all this time,”

Barbara narrowed her eyes, staring at him for a few more seconds before steering the cart around him, walking further down the aisle, exiting it for one of the main corridors of the store. James still following on her heels.

“Barb look I’m pouring my soul out here,” a petulant edge crept into his voice “I’ve already apologized, what more do you want me to do?”

She didn’t slow down, or even turn her head “Go to Vegas, become a millionaire, or go to Hollywood and become an actor. Quite frankly I don’t care what you do, but there is no place for you with me or in my family,”

An abrupt shuffle and a rustle and suddenly James was kneeling on the floor in front of her cart, several other shoppers stopping and staring at the sight.

“Barb I…I fucked up real bad, there’s no way around that. But these past ten years have been so hard. It took me all that just to realize how much you and Jim mean to me. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness,”

No one moved, all the other shoppers staring at him in stunned silence, while James looked up at her, expression pleading.

For a moment Barbara was so taken aback all she could do was stare, mouth agape.

Then his laughter, cruel and mocking, from when he’d learned exactly what he’d done to Jim echoed in her mind and all shock vanished. Replaced with searing rage.

Barbara glared down at him, feeling her lips pull up into a snarl, cold fire smoldering in her chest.

“James let me make this clear. I don’t care about anything you have to say because your actions have proven that you don’t care about Jim and I,” her voice was icy and diamond hard “Whether or not you’re sorry is irrelevant, you’ve burned every bridge between us. And how dare you try to manipulate me by causing a scene in public.”

James flinched back at that, kneeling there on the floor face twisted up in a wince. Someone in the small crowd around them coughed.

“Dude, just get up,”

Not wasting a second, Barbara strode past James and pushed her cart to the front. She paid for and bagged her groceries without incident, all of them fitting in a single tote bag over her shoulder. For a moment she’d started to believe that she’d evaded James for good, but just when she was heading out the doors James darted in front of her again.

“Look Barbara I don’t want to do this, but if you don’t give me a hand I’ll take custody of Jim,”

Hearty laughter burst out of her, drawing stares from the other shoppers and employees around them entering and exiting the store “You’re going to try for custody after ten years of no contact and zero child support? Please do, let me know how that turns out,”

For a few moments James just stared at her, blinking in surprise, then the pleading look dropped off of his face in an instant, something dark taking its place “Don’t laugh Barb, I know your biggest secret. Now either you help me out or I’ll expose Little Jimmy’s ‘condition’ to the whole world,”

That threat sent a bolt of fear through her, heartbeat stuttering, but she dared not show it “You sure about that?” Barbara kept her shoulders square and voice steady, looking him dead in the eye and trying to project a confidence she didn’t feel “Because you have no proof and I’ve got five witnesses willing to say that Jim’s an average teenage boy. Not to mention with the trespassing and assault charges against you I don’t think anyone in Arcadia’s going to be inclined to believe you,”

James’ face darkened further, expression stony and all traces of remorse gone.

Or maybe they’d never been there in the first place. Maybe she was seeing James’ real face for the first time.

“You’re going to regret screwing me like this Barb,”

The cold certainty in his words chilled her to the bone, having to fight to maintain her poker face as she stepped around him and walked out the door “You did this to yourself James,”

Barbar headed out to her car, constantly glancing back to make sure James wasn’t following. Tossing her bag in the backseat before getting in herself and locking all the doors.

Then promptly burst into tears, fumbling for her phone with badly shaking hands. Somehow managing to pull up her contacts and bring it to her ear.

“Hello Rose?”

--

Barbara stepped through the front door, setting the last of her bags down on the floor while it swung shut behind her. She trudged over to the recliner and collapsed down in it, letting out a gusty breath. Today had been exhausting, in more ways than one, but at least it was over.

Sunlight streamed in through the windows, blinds open since Jim was on his trip, it set later this time of year. Nearly six o clock and it was still bright out. And it was just about time for…

Her phone chimed to life, Barbara fumbling to answer it, tapping the screen and holding it close to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey mom,” Jim’s voice rang out

“Hi kiddo,” she replied, a soft grin spreading across her face

And just like that, hearing her son’s voice so bright and happy, all the stress and anxiety of the day melted away “It’s good to hear from you. How’s your party going?”

“Great!” Jim said with a deep laugh. Too deep…

“Wait Jim have you…changed already?”

“Yup, about fifteen minutes ago,”

Despite herself she shot forward in her seat “But it’s so early?”

“Up in the mountains the sun sets earlier I guess, but it’s fine. I’m out in the woods, tent’s all set up for the night, but the gang and I are going to meet up later for snacks and scary stories. Well they’ll have snacks, I’ll have the wrappers the snacks came in,”

A soft laugh escaped “I’m…I’m glad you’re having a good time,”

She was, she really really was. She was glad her worries were for nothing and everything was going ok and Jim was having a fun time without her.

But she’d be lying if she said it didn’t sting a little. Jim, her little boy, had outgrown her. Jim was off on his own and doing just fine without her.

Which was good. He was fifteen, it was only natural for him to be more or less independent. But knowing how right this was didn’t do anything to stop her from feeling left in the lurch.

“Yeah….hey mom?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for letting me come on this trip…I know it’s a big change,”

From out of nowhere a crippling ache struck through her chest, burning surging up behind her eyes “Of course sweetie,” Barbara was careful to not let the sudden wave of emotion color her words “I want you to have a good time with your friends,”

“It’s just, for so long thinking about the future, what I do with all this…it scared me, I didn’t think that there was any way I could be happy. But now when I think about what comes next and everything we’re going to do together, for the the first time ever I’m excited about it,”

Her glasses fogged “That’s great hon,”

“I mean…for years I thought I was trapped, with the way I was stuck in the house, but I guess in the end I wasn’t nearly as trapped as I thought I was. Does that make sense?”

“Y– yes, yes it does,” she tried but wasn’t quite able to keep the tremor out of her voice.

“Thanks mom, I hope you’re having a good time to,”

“You know it, alright I don’t want to keep you from your candy wrappers,” that was a lie, she could talk to Jim for hours, but the longer she stayed on the line the greater the risk of him hearing her cry “I’ll talk to you later kiddo,”

“Ok, bye mom, love you,”

“Bye sweetie, Love you to,”

A tap of the screen and she was alone again. For a few minutes she stayed where she was sitting back in the chair, blinking away the remains of tears with Jim’s words echoing in her skull, observing the empty house in a whole new light.

Jim wasn’t a little boy, he didn’t need her the way he did when he was five. That was good for him, he was old enough he should be independent and living his own life. At first she’d felt left behind, but maybe this was a good thing for her to.

Barbara didn’t have a young child with complex needs that had to be figured out as they went along. Her child was a teenager now; confident, self reliant, and had a rich social life with friends his age. He didn’t need her–

For the first time instead of bringing pain that thought made her feel so dizzyingly light.

She could get in the car right now, drive to Arcadia National park, paint the sunset, and drive back at midnight while hitting every roadside attraction on the way. And Jim would still be A-ok hanging out with his friends at their party. Right now Barbara could do anything she wanted and Jim would still be fine, the whole world seemed to be opening up to her. She could explore museums, pick up old hobbies, paint the town red with her fr–

Before she realized what she was doing Barbara was lifting up her phone again and pulling up her contacts, raising it to her ear as it rang. Only three rings and the other person picked up.

“Hello?” Nancy’s voice echoed out.

“Hi Nancy it’s Barbara, I was just wondering…” she trailed off, suddenly unsure.

“Wondering what?”

“I guess, I mean…it’s still early tonight,” Barbara stammered “And I was wondering if you wanted to go out and…I don’t know, maybe do something like hit up a restaurant or–”

“Count me in!” 

“Are you sure? I mean I don’t want to interrupt your evening–”

“Barbara reruns of Mistrial and Error are still going to be here tomorrow. Now you get your car started while I head over, we’re hitting the town!”

A smile tugging at the edges of her mouth and excitement she hadn’t felt in years bubbling up in her chest, Barbara stood and all but ran towards the door.

[glazedcroissant]

I absolutely adore the meta knight battle in the forgotten land

Speedpaint pspsps

[greatestwizardofthisage]

i would like to personally thank siobhan thompson for organising the bad kids secret santa

[khaopybara]

❝I love you, my naughty girl.❞

LINGLING KWONG as FAHLADA THANANUSAK and ORM KORNNAPHAT as EARN SANITHADA episode 8 of THE SECRET OF US

[iliothermia]

wip

[heybiji]

(and is that not reason enough?)

[agentravensong]

ghost trick is a video game that's about these questions: "when something bad happens to you, what do you do with that trauma?" and "when you do something terrible, when you make a terrible mistake, what do you do with that guilt?". it's about fate and family and hope and truth.

but, equally, crucially, it's also propaganda for the best little doggie in the whole world

[150en-main]

Things that give Etho nosebleeds: pop and stress from Cub's labyrinth.

From Hermitcraft S10#11: Roof, Rockets & Rage! [1:17:12]

Welcome back Labyrinth of Puzzles

[speakofcompersion]

"I'm in this orange-themed room. It's supposed to represent an underground tunnel. I play a recluse in this story. Someone building their own world, digging tunnels, and staying hidden inside them. Going outside can feel a bit scary. Being out in society can give you anxiety and fear, but in your own space you can feel secure and at ease. I've reflected on those feeling, which inspired this song. Nevertheless, society isn't as scary as it seems. There are a lot of amazing things out there and lots of ways to help tackle challenges. That's the message behind this video. Through this music video, i hope to inspire you to step out bravely [into the world]. Don't forget, mansae ('yay')!" - Onew [from '만세' MV behind]

[mommytimmy]

[steambend]

zutaras are about to be baited so bad for the second time in a row and frankly idc can i get ten more scarf scenes please

[rosemaidenvixen]

A Secret's Worth

Chapter 38: Jim

Ao3

Jim leaned back and stretched against the bike rack just outside the front of the school, basking in the early morning sunlight. He’d gotten here super early, it was a full half hour until classes started, but he was in no rush. Content to enjoy the gold and peach light of the rising sun and the peaceful quiet while he waited for the others.

Twenty minutes later he heard the clicking of a bike approaching, turning to see Toby pedaling up to him.

“It is not fair how you can get up so obscenely early,” Toby huffed, dragging his bike to the rack and locking it in next to Jim’s.

Jim just chuckled “Hey we all have our strengths, but I know what will ease the pain,” he patted the white box sitting on top of the rack next to him.

Toby’s eyes widened “What i–”

“What is that?” Darci sped up to them on her own bike, eyes sparkling.

Jim just gave her an easy smile “You’ll have to wait until Mary and Claire get here,”

“Well that could take–”

“I– I’m here,” Mary pulled her own bike up, panting.

Toby raised an eyebrow “What’s with the wheels, I thought your Mo dropped you off in the mornings?”

Mary scowled “My moms caught me sneaking out to go on a date with Mallory, now I have to bike to school for two weeks,”

“Bummer,”

Behind them Jim saw a familiar car pull up against the curb and pushed himself all the way upright “Looks like Claire’s here to,”

A station wagon with a bright yellow ‘Baby on Board’ decal came to a stop by the edge of the curb, the side door popping open and Claire hopping out and moving towards them.

“Hey guys,” Claire said with a wide smile “Ready for the first day of sophomore year?”

“Technically we had our first five days last week,”

Mary snorted “Orientation and whatever the heck ‘Mole Spirit Week’ is don’t count,”

“Sounds like someone lost their school spirit,” Darci said in a sing-song voice.

Toby nodded sagely “Oh she definitely needs a school spirit transplant,”

That earned the two of them a groan from Mary.

Claire rolled her eyes at their antics, gaze landing on the white box “Hey Jim, what’s with the box?”

He grinned back at her, reaching over and picking up the box “Glad you asked. Since I was able to get an early start today, and mom gave me some cash for snacks, I decided to grab us a treat, celebrate the start of the school year and all,” he held the box out and opened it up, revealing five giant cinnamon rolls, oozing with gooey filling topped with generous dollops of frosting, four sets of eyes simultaneously widened.

Toby’s jaw dropped “Are these from that fancy bakery that opened last week!? How!? They sell out almost instantly and preorders are backed up weeks,”

“I got up at the crack of dawn, took the long way around town to school, and stopped by just as they were opening,” 

“So that’s why I didn’t spot you at the canal,”

“Ok clearly adding you to our friend group was a good choice,” Mary said, eyes locked on the open box, slowly edging closer.

“Glad to hear it,” Jim held the box out further “Go nuts guys I didn’t bring them here to look at,”

They took his advice, whipping their hands into the box and tearing into the cinnamon rolls. Soon the five of them settled back, leaning against the wall and bike rack, each munching on their own roll.

Claire finished hers first, sucking her fingers clean of frosting before speaking up “So…the drama department is doing Romeo and Juliet this year, I was thinking we should all try out, that way we could all work on the play together,”

She pulled out a flier which they immediately started passing around, all of them murmuring curiosity, Jim included. But when it came to him and he spotted the times he could actually feel the fluttering hope in his stomach sputter and die.

“Sorry but I won’t be able to be in the play. It runs too late and I have to get home early because of…you know,”

“But rehearsals end way before– that, so it shouldn’t be an issue,”

Jim forced back a wince as he handed the flier back to Claire “Yeah for now, but as the season goes on, daylight savings and all, it’s going to start happening later,”

Claire blinked at him, eyes going wide “Oh…sorry,”

“Here’s a thought,” Mary cut in “Maybe you wouldn’t be able to act, but if Ms. Janeth is ok with it you can be a stagehand and just duck out before it starts getting dark,”

“That…sounds like it could work,” Jim felt a soft smile slowly spread across his face.

It wouldn’t be the same, not exactly, but they could all still work on the play and have fun together.

“I’ll talk to Mrs. J,” Toby said, siding up to Jim and flashing a grin “I’ll give her the ol’ Domzalski charm,”

Mary fixed him with a look “Toby we talked about this,”

Darci just rolled her eyes “How about we all talk to Ms. Janeth during tryouts on Thursday, strength in numbers and all,”

“That sounds good,” Claire added

Jim found himself nodding along “Works for me,”

“And I can give her the Domzalski charm,”

Jim laughed as Mary, Darci, and Claire simultaneously groaned, the giddy energy staying with him even as they broke apart and drifted towards their lockers. He was halfway through spinning the combination into his locker when it hit him.

It was this exact day last year when it happened.

The thought startled him so much for a moment he just stood there in front of his wide open locker with the door swinging in the air.

Getting hit with so much sadness and despair that he couldn’t handle it. Completely breaking down crying under the weight of the hopelessness to the point where he thought he’d never be happy again. Even though he knew it was a year to the day it felt like it happened just yesterday and a thousand years ago.

Jim still could very clearly remember just how utterly crushed he’d been, he didn’t think he could ever forget that. But after everything he’d been through over the last year all that misery felt so far away.

A year ago he’d thought his life was over, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Things had been hard over the last year, incredibly so, but he’d gained three new friends, learned so much, took back his life and made it his own.

Thinking about what would happen after high school still scared him a little, but now it also thrilled him.

There was a lot of uncertainty ahead. He still didn’t know what it was he turned into, he might never know. What changes he might go through as an adult. Facing the struggles of college and jobs. 

But whatever was ahead of him he wouldn’t have to face it alone. 

A gently warmth blooming in his chest, Jim reached out and grabbed his locker door, halting its swinging

Maybe bad things would still happen, as he got bigger he might have to eat more and more meat to survive, his dad might come back and stir up trouble again, more people might get close to his secret; but no matter what happened he had friends and family to help him through it. He didn’t have to face the unknown all alone. 

And bad things might happen, but maybe good things would happen to.

For the first time in he didn’t even remember how long, Jim could think about the future with a smile on his face.

He was still grinning like an idiot, practically dizzy with giddiness, as he tossed his bag into his locker, which was why he only caught the tail end of Eli’s ramble.

“--monsters with stone for skin!”

Jim jerked violently, heart yanking up and down, locker door slipping from his hand during his panicked flailing. Reaching out with shaky hands to slam it shut with much more force than needed. Leaning against the locker with both hands, trembling against the metal, Jim slowly turned around, desperately hoping he hadn’t just heard what he thought he had.

Eli was standing in the corner speaking rapidly and making large sweeping gestures with his arms as he talked, gathered around him were some wide-eyed freshmen and a few unimpressed looking upperclassmen. Jim shoved down the sudden spike of anxiety, if nothing else he’d gotten good at doing that over the last year, forcing himself to act casual as he walked over towards him.

“What was that you were saying Eli?”

Eli looked up sharply at him, a wild glint in his eyes “On my way to school this morning I saw two monsters with stone for skin fighting under the canal bridge!”

One of the others, Seamus, he now recognized, gave a sharp bark of laughter “Get real E-lame, if you’re going to make stuff up at least be creative about it,”

Jim didn’t allow himself to so much as twitch, but on the inside he was practically melting with relief. He hadn’t left the house before he’d changed, and he hadn’t been anywhere near the canal this morning. No way Eli spotted him while he was blue. Chances are Eli just saw something else from a distance and got confused.

“I’m not lying!” Eli’s voice was shrill, nearly a shout “There are monsters in Arcadia living right under our noses!”

“I don’t think you're lying Eli–”

Eli spun towards him, face practically radiant with gratitude, making the next part hard to say.

“But don’t you think it’s more likely you just saw some guys in motorcycle gear duking it out than actual monsters?”

“I know what I saw, it was monsters!”

Seamus scowled and opened his mouth to no doubt say something else scathing, but before he could get a word out first bell rung, scattering the loose gathering as they all headed for their classes.

Eli was harmless. Whatever he’d spotted this morning wasn’t Jim, and it wasn’t like any of his conspiracy junk had ever held water before. 

Nevertheless Jim was still on edge when he sat down in Mr. Strickler’s class for first period just before second bell run.

“Alright students quiet down,” Mr. Strickler strode to the front of the room, hands folded behind his back as the room settled into silence “I know the Punic wars might not seem like the most exciting conflict in history, but that’s just for those who don’t know better….”

Jim pulled out his notebook and started quickly scribbling down notes, doing his best to force Eli’s talk of monsters out of his head and focus on the lesson Strickler was–

James Lake

His heart shot up into his throat, jerking in his seat and snapping upright, pencil dragging a sharp line across his paper yanking his notebook to the side. 

��Dude you ok?” Toby whispered from the seat next to him.

Jim’s eyes flickered towards the front of the room where Strickler was still talking about the Punic wars while pointing at different parts of his projection while all eyes in the room were on him.  

No interruption in the lecture. No one looking his way.

“Did…you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“It’s– never mind,”

Toby raised an eyebrow but turned back towards the front of the room. Jim shook his head and discreetly pulled in a deep breath. He must have imagined it, no need to freak out five minutes in to his first class.

He regripped his pencil and straightened his notebook just as Mr. Strickler turned around to face the room again.

“Now pay attention because this will be on your first test…”

Heartbeat slowing, Jim lowered his gaze towards his paper and went back to jotting down–

James Lake

He somehow managed to keep himself from jerking again, pencil in an iron grip and a slow shudder creeping up his body. Something slimy curling in his belly, Jim looked up again and discreetly looked around the room.

There was no way that it was Mr. Strickler saying his name, and it didn’t look like anyone else in the room was calling him either. Was his mind just playing tricks on hi–

James Lake

His heart dropped down into the pit of his stomach, pencil tumbling from his grip.

Nope. Not imagining it. There was an actual voice in his head.

“Is there a problem Jim?” Mr. Strickler’s cool voice cut through his mounting panic.

Jim looked up at him–

James Lake

Mr. Strickler and everyone else in the room didn’t so much as flinch.

Yep it was only him. Jim was hearing a voice calling his name that no one else could. That wasn’t good. At all.

“I…uh…have to go to the bathroom,”

One of Mr. Strickler’s eyebrows quirked up “Class just started,”

James Lake

“I really really have to go,”

Snickers and giggles filled the room.

“Alright then, just hurry back,”

Jim managed to give a frantic nod of thanks as he practically raced out of the room, Feeling Toby and the girls’ eyes on him as he went. 

In some part of his mind he knew it was bad he was having another big moment of public weirdness on the first day of school after the one he’d had last year. But the bigger part of him was focused on the literal voice in his head. He managed to make it to the end of the hall before it hit him again, much louder than it had been in the classroom.

JAMES LAKE

Ok, mysterious voice was getting louder. But was the volume increasing or was Jim getting…closer? Only one way to find out and he literally had no other ideas.

Moving through the school, the voice getting steadily louder as he went, Jim found himself standing in an open side door without even realizing it, staring at the open street ahead of him. For a moment he hesitated, imagining all the trouble he’d be in if he was caught ditching–

JAMES LAKE

Jim gritted his teeth and took off sprinting down the sidewalk. Running and running guided only by the voice in his head.

JAMES LAKE

Leaving pavement behind he raced down a dirt trail towards the canal. Slowing but not stopping when he reached the edge. Scrambling down the concrete he slipped and tumbled, landing hard on his hands and knees on the concrete. For a moment he stayed like that, palms stinging and knees throbbing, kneeling on the ground, panting.

JAMES LAKE

He froze.

That time the voice hadn’t been in his head. 

Slowly lifting his head up. Jim spotted a pile of gravel underneath the bridge, in the same direction that the voice had come from. He pushed himself upright, taking small, cautious steps towards the bridge.

“Hello? Anyone there?”

No reply, either from inside and outside his head. The only sound the distant rumble of traffic on the road above. Stopping right in front of the pile, Jim saw that what he thought was gravel was actually some very coarse rubble. Seeing nothing else but bare concrete around him, Jim got down on his knees and started sifting through it, not even sure what he was looking for.

Until he touched something that wasn’t rock.

Jim froze for a second before he closed his fingers around the object, cool and smooth in his hands, and pulled it out.

When he saw it he was so stunned he couldn’t move, kneeling in the bright canal marveling at the bizarre object in his hands.

The closest comparison he could make was to a pocket watch, but this was like no pocket watch he’d ever seen.

It was about the size of his phone, round, made of a shiny silver metal surrounding a sky blue face. There were hands and writing on it, but not in any orientation or language he’d ever seen, fixed together with gears sporting gargoyle-like faces in an incomprehensible jumble.

While Jim was still struggling to figure out what exactly he was looking at, the voice came again, emanating directly from the pocket watch, but softer, and almost…comforting.

James Lake

Then there was a sound almost like a sigh of relief and the pocket watch went silent.

Jim’s breath caught in his throat. For a few moments he could only stare at the object, then he slowly raised it to his ear

“Uh…hello? Anyone home?”

Nothing but silence. The voice was gone, and somehow Jim had a feeling it wouldn’t be back because it had done what it was supposed to.

But that still left him with far more questions than answers.

Adrenaline slowly draining away, Jim stood back up straight and turned the object over in his hands, trying to spot any other markings or clues that could give more insight.

As he examined the not-pocket watch he was hit by a sudden wave of awareness. Jim was standing in the canal in broad daylight talking to an inanimate object. If anyone going by saw him they would report him for truancy, or worse call his mom.

Mysterious voices and pocket watches aside he needed to get back to class.

Jim shook himself off, sliding the pocket watch into the back pocket of his jeans before making his way back up the side of the canal.

Despite the craziness that was his life, mysterious talking watches was a new one. What was this thing? Why did it call his name? What did it all mean?

Jim let out a breath as he planted both feet on the dirt bordering the canal, turning and heading back in the direction of the sidewalk that led to the school. Feeling the constant press of the object’s shape and weight in his pocket.

Well whatever this was, he wouldn’t have to tackle it alone, he’d have his friends to help him figure it out.

[sideblogdotjpeg]

ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally

(+ cropped versions !)

[bre4yd]

Some scotts and their gem (idk i havent watched secret life /j)

[willthespy]

*riptide starts playing*