#a real testament to her relationships with them tbh

[qvrcll]

posing (as a playboy centerfold)

summary: loving ellie is as simple as it can be. the routine you fall into is painless, so easy it threatens to tear past what has been. but can you ever set still this palpable, throbbing heart that feels for her?

warning: showering together, nudity mentioned, mention of injuries / old wounds / stitch wounds, established relationship but pining still, just some word vomit tbh !!

a/n: hi! it’s been a WHILE! but i’ve seriously gone through a rollercoaster of emotions because i came upon the realisation that being burnt out can make it seem like you’ve literally lost your ability to write and in my fear of trying to keep up with requests, i literally couldn’t write a single sentence i could like. this is something i’ve managed that i don’t completely hate :,] college melodrama is coming soon btw!! thank u to every single one of u who has shown it support, i love u all :,]

bathing with ellie is a simple, domestic routine you fall into. there’s no set-back’s, no restrictions and no effort on either end as you perch yourself into the commodity of the tub, body spent and leeching with the spread of its efforts. there’s that bruise you’d bottled on the trip with tommy for supplies on your thigh that still remains despite your effort to rid of it. if you want to search for them, your bruises and wounds show, even against the kiss of the water in the tub, red, tinged mauve and showing up blood orange with time. there’s history in everything, you think, as you relax against the ceramic sweep against your body, before her voice sounds,

“what are you thinking about?”

you turn your head, smile already swallowing your face when you catch the height of ellie against the bathroom door. she’s half naked, jeans shimming down her hips as she quickly presses her palms against the wall for balance. she snickers when she sees you comically flout your arms against the edge of the tub, goading with a smile as you take it all in. take a while to just admire her.

“take a picture, it would last longer,” she presses on, the laugh spent in her voice as she’s bare now, completely. there’s the bruise on her shoulder from last week, when she’d caught that foetid fall upon the stone and hedge of her foes, or the blunting image of that stitch wound she’d given herself after she’d cut the skin open on that abrasive ground maria had always warned everyone about. her arms are littered with the testament of her past endeavours — scratches, marks, something admirable and accomplished that she’s glazed with that makes it incredibly hard to skirt your eyes off of. and she’s level enough with you to notice the lucidity of your stare. but instead of words, she joins you in the bath.

the water oddly rises and sets with her body behind yours, some of it sneaking onto the floor but you can’t seem to care when she’s pinioning her weight against your back in a way that’s so obvious, it burns — her fingers, lithe and callous as you’ve discerned them to be, roam the tight space between you and the water and you look at her with that knowing glare, that slip of your shoulders that ask ‘ellie, where do you think your hands are going?’ and she’ll laugh against that safe-spot she’s borrowed into the liberty of your neck. and the further she goes, the more she presses into your skin slovenly little kid who’s got a hint of candy for the very first time, the more you’re realising none of this ever does stop. this loving, this push-and-pull de-facto she’s got going with you, this lambency you’ve let live inside of you.

it’s all so real that it scares you.

you turn around, promptly, facing her but not really. your eyes are as assailable as they can be, but they’re sprouting lower, sailing on a nerve and landing on the skin of her arms, the brawn of her shoulders. she catches your ambulant gaze and fixes a smirk, is in the thick of a smirk, when her body goes cold like meat in your very tub.

“what… are you doing…?”

her voice is far from its usual front, now reduced to an embarrassed purr as she regulates the feeling that punches against her like a brute. tries to fine-tune the notion that you’re quite literally touching her, feeling the skin of her mid section, assessing it like you were to be the town’s next medico. you look up, obviously, because you’ve never heard her this splintered before, thinking you’ve vaulted too far before you’re realising with a lissom smile that oh, she’s so very flustered with you just feeling her.

“what does it look like i’m doing?”

you poke her on, watch her face burst into flames, her words mitigate into quiet fluxes of ‘i don’t know what you’re doing… just like… touching my belly? what are you doing?’

and you literally have to carve the words out that you’re admiring her. reaching for her scars in spite of the intrusion of the water. pawing the rough and unearthed parts of her in the wet of it. coursing her like wet mud for excavators to dig through. like she’s the moon strung on a string. but you can’t. can’t fit the words onto your tongue, even in the teeth of your belief, even if you splice and section it to be statable.

your love for ellie is taking a space in your heart, lettering something illegible, holding the memory of her so close, so taut, that all you can say is,

“i love you.”

© 2023 qvrcll. Do not repost any of my works on any platform.

[idyllic-affections]

DON'T.... BECAUSE KAVEH'S YOUNGER!SIBLING BEING ANGRY IN THEIR STEAD.. im so sorry for swarming ur inbox but ydbihsjakdas

i could just IMAGINE their arguments about it

"she's our MOTHER, you don't disrespect her like that!"

"yeah, but she ABANDONED us!"

"she didn't abandon us-"

"YES SHE DID! she ran away and left us here, in sumeru, because she was hurting. i know."

"she deserves to be happy-"

"but what about us? what about me? what about you? she sounds SO much happier with our step siblings, and she doesn't even visit us! you can't keep defending her!

you can love her all you want, i don't care. you say she's our mother, but she's been absent ever since dad died."

"you have to understand-"

"I DO UNDERSTAND! and you took care of her when she was sad. you took care of me because she was sad. you were a child too, and you were more of a mother to me than her!"

"don't say that-"

"just because she's my mom doesn't mean i have to like her!"

kinda projected here but good god this makes me wanna explode. i like to think kaveh's younder!sibling has been going through that "rebellious teen phase", but it's not a phase, it's just how they are after growing up with a pretty absent mom and dead dad. they see how much their brother suffer, they 100% wanna help him, but they're going through it too yk??

imagine how frustrating it is for them whenever kaveh talks about their mom and he always says nice things about her but they could see the sheer bitterness, guilt, and melancholy in his eyes. they can't help but hate her for not being there for them (i like to think they're maybe an infant or very very young when it happened) n making their big bro, their parental figure, go through this horrible mess.

n they just kinda grew up with that hate w/o telling kaveh bc they didn't wanna add into his plate of problems. but the hate slowly manifested with other stuff until they went from 'not wanting to cause trouble for kaveh' to 'i cause trouble because i can't control myself and i need to release my anger on something else'

so ya i think kaveh's younger!sibling would be temperamental n people see them kinda like a bully, opposite of kaveh :( even if kaveh raised them kindly, i think reader's hatred to their mom saved them from copying kaveh's self destructiveness...

which caused kinda of a strain in their relationship when reader became a teen

(on the flip side for some reason i think reader would get along with alhaitham more (which would hurt kaveh tbh) bc alhaitham's mentality clashes so much against kaveh's n it's probably what reader needs more... they probably preferred alhaitham's "you're allowed to get angry at things you felt was unfair, even if she's your mother" than kaveh's "she still loves us... she just- she just needed to move on to be happy. she deserves it.")

sorry i kinda developed a whole reader here and maybe this is incoherent blabbering im gonna hide now >q< feel free to ignore !!

NOOOOO NO DON'T HIDE I AM HEARING YOU OUT SOO MUCH RN WE ARE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH

ohhh the strain that would come as a consequence of that rage and pain... sigh. parentified kaveh is so real, honestly, because with how bad faranak's mental health became, she definitely would not have been able to raise her youngest child. kaveh would be the one to raise them. kaveh would be the one they ran to when they scraped their knee. kaveh would be the one to kiss away their tears. kaveh would be the one to help them with homework and little things like that.

it would always be kaveh.

(and i think faranak would be painfully aware of the way they no longer come to her for comfort and consolation, but i don't think she would be able to feel bad about it until years later, because she's already so... fucked up. she would just be glad that someone was nurturing her child, even if that had to be kaveh.)

i think [name]'s anger would be a good and important testament to how well kaveh really raised them, though.

(but of course, it would also prove dangerous and self-destructive which i mention a bit further down in the post!!)

one who values themselves is one who feels angry when mistreated.

and [name] is fucking livid, for both themselves and kaveh. [name] is aware of faranak's neglect. because kaveh taught them to love themselves more than he could ever even hope to love himself. kaveh raised them well, even if that responsibility never should have been his in the first place.

so it honestly hurts them both when they fight like that.

"don't you dare disrespect her, [name]. you have no idea what she did for us." "what she did for us?! what the hell-- kaveh, she left us for some random fucking guy neither of us have ever met! how can you not see what's wrong with that?!" "do not talk about her like that. she did her best. doesn't she deserve to be happy, [name]? doesn't she?!" "oh," they'd scoff, "so 'her best' is abandoning her kids, parentifying her oldest son, and running from her past like a fucking coward?" they would roll their eyes and turn away at that point. "no, kaveh. she doesn't. neither of us are, so why does she deserve to be happy?" they'd then leave.

and consider this dialogue somewhere in there:

"she isn't my mother. she didn't raise me. you can like and defend that woman all you want, but she never was and never will be my mother."

they care so much about what kaveh went through for them. they are so painfully aware of the sacrifices he made to raise them. you know how parentified oldest siblings are usually the only ones aware of the abuse and neglect, whereas the younger siblings they raised think their parent is an angel who did no wrong? it's the opposite here.

and [name] getting along better with alhaitham in their teens... you are so right. they would.

i can imagine them fighting like this in alhaitham's home, and when [name] finally gets pissed off enough that they just leave to cool down, kaveh also retreats and stays in his room for a bit. but a few minutes later, when he comes back out, alhaitham is gone.

he left after [name], because a pissed off teen out wandering alone in sumeru and possibly sumeru's wilderness is unsafe.

(i feel like [name]'s anger could translate into ambition. hmm. pyro vision [name], maybe?)

kaveh knows they get along better with alhaitham nowadays, and i think it hurts him so much. but... he also does want what is best for them, and maybe. just maybe he is not best for them anymore.

(little does he know, they cry a lot to his roommate about just... wanting their brother. but not being able to open up to him like they used to because he'll only keep making excuses for their mother. and he'll only keep hurting himself in the process. and they don't want to see him destroy himself.)

alhaitham would validate their feelings more than kaveh would. he believes they should be pissed. he's not good with tears and feelings in general, but he is rather decent when it matters. and it very much matters when it comes to kaveh's mentally and emotionally wounded younger sibling.

i think alhaitham is better for them at this point in their life. and, you know, i feel like... in a way, he could help them learn to be less destructive. because also i feel like [name] is self-destructive in their own way, too. they get pissed and push away the people they love (aka kaveh). and they're hurting themselves in the process, but it's in a less obvious way than how kaveh is hurting himself (all the overworking, constantly doing everything for everyone, etc etc).

alhaitham is so blunt and straightforward and it would be refreshing compared to the mental gymnastics kaveh does to justify what faranak has done. and honestly, the factual truth is that [name] is allowed to be angry. alhaitham knows that and he's very clear about it.

and hear me out--

[name] enrolling in the akademiya, but instead of the expected darshan (kshahrewar or something similar)... they enroll in haravatat. just a thought.

they're probably just kind of mean in general compared to their brother, and i think that comes as a surprise to a lot of people, but i mean... who can blame them?

they need to go to family therapy HELSPDKDHSKGA

[hamsterclaw]

Hei Rei, I'm watching a show and it made me think of one of your stories.

Currently watching Couples Therapy. There's a couple called Mau and Anna I think. I find him absolutely infuriating, he brings out an aggression in me, just as much as Namjoon from Love does. They're not the same btw, but there are similarities.

There was one moment when Mau described why he decided Anna was the one and the way he described her blew me away. It sorta shifted my "throw the whole man away" narrative I decided on within 5 min of meeting him (Love Namjoon makes me feel the same). But then he is the same stubborn man who refuses to see her.

He loves how emotionally connected she is to life, and recognises his inability to experience it in the same way yet completely dismisses her emotions and ways that she needs him to hear her. It's so irritating and I cannot stand him. But those glimpses help me understand why people connect to Love Namjoon so much.

I've been in OC's corner from the beginning, I want better for her, I want more than glimpses for her. But I can see how all this history and all the ways in which they see each other and understand each other cannot be discounted. But god do they both make me angry.

Anyway, I don't know what my point is with this. I guess to let you know your character is so similar to this real human man and they both make me angry and justice for OC and Anna hahaha

Basically, it's a testament to your amazing writing, character development, and ability to make me feel so strongly about your characters, even when I haven't spent time with them in a while. They're just lurking in my brain, waiting for me to have another development about them.

Lia - this full blown analysis had me alternating between screaming and hiding behind my hands. Writing is so personal and one reveals so much about oneself especially when writing about people and relationships. It’s why there (intentionally) isn’t much detail about me on this blog because i feel like i give so much of myself away otherwise in the characters and stories i write.

It’s exactly like you’ve said: relationships are complex and there are reasons people are drawn to each other even when from the outside it seems wrong. Agree love Namjoon infuriates me too and so does the OC tbh. I’ve been thinking about them a lot as I’ve been plotting the ending to the series because I desperately want to do justice to them both.

I love the questions you’ve posed and the thoughts you’ve shared. I’ve been asking myself similar. Are the glimpses of love and respect enough? Are they both stuck in their inertia, sticking to what’s familiar in their shared history because it’s easier than cutting ties completely?

The last story for them will be called ‘all we need’ and i’m going to try my best for them both. Thank you for your ask because honestly? I’m humbled and blown away that these characters i’ve written have got you thinking about them. I could not ask for more.

[charmixpower]

Quick question: what would be a perfect alternative Winx x Specialist pairings in your honest opinion? Like, if Bloom didn't date Sky, Stella didn't date Brandon, Flora didn't date Helia (I mean, she would be with Mirta, but the show's heteronormativity says "Fuck you" to us), Musa didn't date Riven, Tecna didn't date Timmy, Aisha didn't date Nabu/Roy/Nex.

Boyfriend swap???

Okay then XD

Bloom:

I've begun my "I don't care for Bloom/Sky" era except I love Sky unlike most people who believe this. He's literally a wet cat of a man. Bloom's and Sky's relationship is based on Bloom wanting the prince charming of her dreams, and Sky wanting to be normal by being with someone nomral. Both of these things are very much not true and are pretty unrealistic of them.

Bloom/Brandon

Brandon is the only one of the guys that would be able to roll with the insane shit that Bloom is ALWAYS caught up in without missing a beat. That's it, that's the only reason. No hesitation, no surprise, simple acceptance.

Stella:

I cannot believe you're making me break up Brella I will NEVER forgive you for this /joke

Stella/Helia

Why? Helia is the only person Brandon has ever considered a threat to his relationship, and I think that's funny as hell. Helia's commitment to the bit and acting utterly insane (see: holding off a monster only for Flora and letting the other Winx die ig, throwing someone through a table) would match Stella's ultra dramatic energy perfectly. Stella starts a bit and Helia acts like it's her last dying will and testament. Also, Helia seems to not trust himself as a part of a team (esp in the comics) and Stella's Stella ness would drag him out to hang out with everyone more often in s2 helping with that. On the other side Helia would barely care about Stella's looks, like they'd probably dating after Stella drops her "cute blonde ditz" mask, so he'd inform her of how much he likes her real personality so often

Stella/Timmy

I think it would be cute. Stella keeps him in her purse and she thinks he's so adorable. Timmy is being lavished with attention and he will try his best to let Stella know she's the best person he's ever met

Flora:

I genuinely forget that in canon Flora and Helia are supposed to be together. Mirta my beloved disaster lesbian

Flora/Riven

I have too many shippers of these two following me to not see the appeal. I have read the essays and I am convinced they could be EXTREMELY cute. Riven helps Flora be more assertive and not exclusively do things for others, and Flora helps Riven connect with his emotions and other people. Adorable

Tecna:

I don't ship Tecna's aroace ass with Timmy in the first place, or anyone for that matter so this is gonna be difficult

Tecna/Nabu

She'd eat everyone alive. He's the only non Timmy person who'd survive

Musa:

Despite Rivusa being my otp, breaking it up is a lesser crime than breaking up Brella who are soulmates. You still will not be forgiven for your transgressions /joke

..... Uh

Uhhhhh

UHHHHHHHH

okay, so, Musa has like, so many problems. Specifically relating to relationships, and tbh she needs someone who can understand her. Someone who understands why she's so clingy and can go hot and cold bc they're the same way and having a relationship is very hard when your mentally ill

Musa/Timmy

But only s1 Timmy who told Riven and Sky to shut the fuck up. I feel like he's the right balance of kind and willing to push back on Musa getting codependent or having a mood swing on him without being intimidated (and Brandon would feel trapped in this kind of dynamic)

Aisha:

IN MY AU ANNE IS A SPECIALIST SO CAN I SAY ANNE???? No? Rip

Aisha/Sky

Personally I think it's funny and they'd balance each other out and have similar focus on the mission priorities. Also Aisha starts off in my thing finding Sky super annoying for Diaspro related reasons but they have similar childhoods and reacted in almost opposite ways and I feel that that's a neat dynamic

[destinyc1020]

I really like yr dissertations so ur fine lol i b writing novels as well wen i comment 😭

Yea honestly Kaias book club is good n she has great quesions for her guests n seems passionate about it. With her being so young and just the ignorance she has about nepotism/her priveldge it just makes her seem out of touch. Shes nt as bad as other nepo kids bt it dnt help her that shes moving away from the skill shes good at (modeling) and the thing she seems to want to do (acting), shes nt currently good at. This was the art comment: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ellendurney/kaia-gerber-said-nepotism-isnt-how-art-is-made. i remember ppl clowning her for it cuz she def got a starring role in AHS cuz she auditioned with her mom and her unintentionally calling her acting "art" is just 😬 (n like u said prob due to her being naive she mignt nt even realize her being ignorant). JE n Kaia looked miserable going to that Academy Musuem thing lmao bt they seemed fine IRL most of the time

Welp Kaia learned wat NOT to do after dating Zs ex lmaoo talking about loving that man wen they only lasted a yr.. gurl 🫣. She eems to b a fan of Z now so good for her lol

W/Austin i def agree Kaia seems like a safe choice. Theres a difference between a older woman (or just a woman around his age) who is prob established in her career and mayb wanting the nxt steps in her personal life (marriage or kids) vs a 21 yr old who is still figuring out wat she wants bt has the financial means to hang out with her bf a lot more and prob isnt thinkin bout her future rn. Austin is the best bf Kaias had so far based on how her parents seem to really like him so i think their all relieved in that aspect. i think Austin dsnt like to b single for too long either tbh. i really dnt know how this relationship bout to go lol

Thnx Anon! 🥰

Glad you enjoy my dissertations lol.

Yea Kaia's book club seems great. I've seen a couple of them over the years actually. I'm all for ppl enjoying whatever hobbies make them happy, and reading seems to be an avid hobby of hers.

Her mom Cindy is actually pretty smart. She graduated with honors and had a full scholarship to attend university for Chemical Engineering if I'm not mistaken. So maybe Kaia takes after her mom's intellectual side.🤷🏾‍♀️

But, like you said, she's still very young, naïve, and basically been living in a wealthy, southern CA bubble her whole entire life imo.

Granted, she's had some life experiences that many young women her age have never had, but she's still been pretty sheltered and just comes off as a little out of touch with the "real world" if you ask me.

Again, it's not a huge slight in itself, but more so just a testament to the fact that she was born in wealth, and she's only 21 lol 😅

I'm sorry Anon lol 😅 I couldn't with this article you linked. See, yet again.... You can tell that she's a sweet girl, but very naïve..... just in MY opinion lol.

I don't think she realizes that her mom doesn't have to call in to beg people to put her on the runway or in films. I don't think she realizes that just by being Rande and Cindy's daughter, she automatically has a leg up just due to her name ONLY.

And ummm.... according to what I've heard... 👀 Supposedly, some hard-working actresses who've come from nothing and have had to WORK their way up, have complained about losing parts to Kaia Gerber, even though they are better actresses. 🥴 Again, sip or spit, but that's just what I've heard. 👀

So yea, some people aren't happy that she's been getting a lot of opportunities (even in the modeling world) just for her name and familial background only.

Re: Austin....

Like I said before, I REALLY don't seem him settling down anytime soon. I'm not getting those vibes from him. I'm sure he loves her and her family, but he seems more focused on his career rn imo. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Plus, they haven't even dated each other for 2 years yet. Idk why some fans are pushing marriage on them, or trying to make it seem like she's "the one".

I personally would not advise someone (especially an ACTOR) who travels a LOT for a living, and works away from home for months out of the year, to go and put a ring on a girl he's barely known not even two years yet. 🥴 Could it happen? Yes. But I wouldn't advise it.

I know he doesn't like to be single for too long (a lot of ppl don't lol 😂), but if he and Kaia do break up one day, my advice to him would be to take a sabbatical and just be SINGLE for a few months lol.

Based on what I saw during the awards season, I'm sure he'd have PLENTY of female options (young AND old! 👀) if he and Kaia were to ever spilt up rofl 🤣 So he doesn't have to worry about not having any options.

Idk how the rlshp will go, but they seem happy, and I can't hate on them. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I don't get the vibe that they're endgame though. Idk why, but as of right now, I'm just not seeing it. Plus, Leo DiCaprio has dated a ton of young, pretty models all his life. If they were really what they're cracked up to be, wouldn't you think he would have married one of those women by now, or at the very least, made one of these models his life partner by now? Leo's longest rlshp has been Gisele Bundchen, and they were together for 5 years. He to this day has not been in a rlshp longer than that. So, obviously, dating models isn't really the endgame for him either! You would think that after all these years, he would try smthg different since the young, 25 year old model thing hasn't been working out lol 😆

Anyway, I just hope Austin is staying smart in his decisions. Kaia's family has always kind of made me give them the side-eye.... Supposedly, female employees from Rande's business have accused him of sexual harassment.... 👀 I remember the days when Kaia looked like she may have had an ED 👀..... The son, Presley, has been giving signs to me that he's been crying out for help for years.... 🥴 They've allowed their daughter to date grown men ever since she was a teenager.... 🥴👀

Idk... part of me wants to tell Austin: "Austin run! Please run.... there's smthg off with this family!!!!" 😬

But hey, it's not my life lol 😆 And who knows? Maybe one day she will be Mrs. Kaia Butler. 🤭

[dulcewrites]

Forgive the roasting of aemond in this post, but what op said about alys also got me thinking real hard tbh. Cause in what way a person would forgive and willingly procreate with someone who mass murder and decimate their entire city(?) if not from a stockholm syndrome or if they have a secret agenda. Also in the book, in the end alys comes out and declare that her son is aemond's right heir of sth idk.

The idea of consensual alys x aemond is appealing but I wanna see seduction- spellcraft in action. It would be a true testament of her power if she can bewitch someone as logical and rational as aemond imo.

I read show Aemond more as someone who puts on a front of being self assured but because he has not been able to work through things he’s gone through, it’s all an act. I think when real emotions come in (like maybe anger towards someone who took his eye), a lot of that rational behavior goes out the window. I think he could fall for someone without much coercion if put in the right situation.

Also I would be surprised if alys had a healthy or great relationship with her family, so I personally don’t see her caring that much about them dying but that’s just me. I wouldn’t mind if they do a mixture of both like maybe she uses something to make him spare her life but then they create an actual bond

[pynkhues]

did you hear about the new show redrum jenna bans is producing... they have my attention... would prefer good girls to not have been cancelled lmao but. they have my attention.

I hadn't heard about it yet, anon, but oh my gosh, that sounds like so much fun! I'm delighted by Jenna producing and Carla Banks-Waddles showrunning too. Carla wrote some of my favourite eps of Good Girls 2.05, 2.09, 3.02, 3.10, and 4.06 (!) Show description below if other people are interested too :-)

Redrum is described a sexy, swampy dark dramedy/thriller about two best friends — Jess and Sadie – who host a podcast about New Orleans’ most infamous serial killers. But when they make fun of the wrong sociopath and people close to them start to turn up dead, our friends, who are grossly ill-equipped for this unfortunate circumstance, realize they have to do what the police haven’t: find the killer before they become the victims of their own story. Let the good times roll.

[evakuality]

Matteo - Episode three

Social Media - There’s so much of it this week!  At the time, I only followed a couple of accounts and then only saw the rest when it was posted to the tag.  I think I’m grateful for that.  This is absolutely overwhelming, the sheer volume of things the characters were putting out.  But it’s also really nice that we get all this normal teenage life stuff.  It really does allow an immersive ‘this is real people doing real stuff’ feeling to everything.  Particularly people like Kiki and Sam who have little to do with the plot.  It keeps them real and alive through a season where they were a bit more sidelined (and I love that Matteo and David’s little trip later on keeps them alive in a way that doesn’t overpower Amira’s season - this is a really clever way for the producers to keep fan favourites active without having to shoehorn them into places where they don’t belong).  I am also a bit concerned about some of this though - how on earth did the boys not get in trouble for filming the dancing girls and posting it to social media?  At most schools I know that would have resulted in some serious discipline action.  However, the most fascinating thing about the social media is the party at the end of the episode.  Sara didn’t start posting much on her stuff until much later in the evening (the reason this post is so late is because I was waiting to watch through all the social media before I worked with it - and there was so much for so long that I was able to notice the patterns in it in a way I didn’t at the time) and then Leonie took over and it was interesting what she chose to show and how non-perfect it all was compared to what Sara was trying to do before she got really incapacitated.  I know it’s not technically part of this episode but the text string between the two of them the next day where Sara panics over how Matteo might take seeing her in such a sloppy drunken state is very telling.  She really really wants to put on a show to make sure he’s not turned off by her not being ‘perfect’ - again, this is all very subtly done but there’s a really strong push to show how much of what is put onto social media isn’t a real and true depiction of who we really are.  And of course that’s most important for Matteo himself.  He’s still very actively putting on a front and it’s only partly to try to cover for the fact that he’s interested in boys not girls.  He’s really not happy or at ease with pretty much any aspect of himself, but he’s also not really willing to show it to anyone.  Except David.  Which we’ll see as we go through the clips.

Clip one - Matteo’s shelf in the fridge is so sad!  Someone (a parent maybe?) should really be making sure he has food and is looking after himself.  We touched a bit last episode on food and nurturing and what we see here is Matteo very much not nurturing himself.  Even more so than Sara, he has no care for his own wellbeing.  Also he’s relying heavily on other people (Hans in this case) to do the heavy lifting for him.  It’s also a major contrast to the playful, if disgusting, sandwich he made with David.  Here it’s really just about putting something in to his body and there’s no thought for anything other than basic survival.  Which is, tbh, a good metaphor for Matteo’s approach to his life at this time.  The chat with Mia again veers close to things that are difficult for Matteo - he’s wearing David’s beanie, trying to get that bit of closeness to him, but then Mia starts asking awkward questions about why the kitchen was so terrible and what Matteo was up to and it’s all a bit tough.  Matteo tries again to deflect and lie to cover his tracks.  Which... is he ever going to learn?  This lying is forever getting him in hot water when he’s caught out.  Jonas even calls him out on it, basically saying ‘if you’re going to use me as an excuse then give me a heads up first’ showing that he has Matteo’s back, but is incapable of helping him if he won’t help himself.  At this point, of course, Matteo has closed off because there’s a lot he finds too hard to talk about but Jonas is already giving those hints that he’d be there for Matteo if only Matteo would let him be.  But at least Mia’s pushing serves one purpose - Matteo makes contact with David again and they manage to connect and get over the little hitch that David’s ditching caused.  Both are still hiding bits of themselves from each other (David more so obviously), but both are quite happy to make these connections and are comfortable with each other.  That David responds is so nice; it sets up the dynamic so different to the original and Matteo is much more secure in David’s friendship than Isak was with Even at this point just because of this.  Then of course Matteo does the gay test, and it’s clear he already knows but he’s just sort of trying to work through some things.  It leads to some of the things he says later that are quite unfortunate (both to the boys about the dance teacher in this episode and to Hans later about the ways to be gay), but I think there’s a genuine desire to figure out what gay might look like rather than any truly homophobic stuff.  societal expectations and stereotypes and our own internal biases mess with us big time!!

Clip two - There’s not a lot of difference with the dancing girls clip, but it’s nice to see David again and the interactions between him and Matteo are a lot more natural than with Isak and Even.  I guess because these two are in the same year, it’s much easier to pass off knowing each other and so Matteo really is a lot more casual than Isak ever was.  The tone of the ‘why does he have to be so gay’ is different here too - Matteo’s much more low key and subdued when he’s called out on ‘why do we insult gays’ and he’s apologising fairly quickly.  It really is much more obvious that he’s trying to work out what ‘gay’ is than trying to distance himself from the idea of being gay.  He has a lot of issues and a lot of stuff to work through but it’s entrenched in an entirely different way to the og even though the words are almost exactly the same.  The power of acting and body language!!  Of course, this makes sense for both characters too - Isak and Matteo have different experiences and different lives and so they each act in a way that makes sense for them.  I’m super impressed that the same conversation can look so different - both actors are very very good.

Clip three - This scene with Matteo and Sara works much better for me than the one with Isak and Emma.  But perhaps that’s because Sara is allowed to be much more of a rounded character rather than a plot device.  We can say all we like (and Leonie is so clearly right there with us) that Sara needs to wake up and see how badly Matteo is treating her, but the way this is developing makes it clear why she thinks and acts the way she does and we can have a lot of sympathy for her even while rolling our eyes at how obviously this is not working out.  This right here is the moment where Matteo really should have said ‘yeah sorry, this isn’t working for me’ but he chooses not to because he still wants that security of having ‘someone’ if the thing with David turns out the way he expects it to (eg, David and Leonie being a thing).  He wants the ability to hide and say ‘see, there was nothing there, I have a girlfriend so I’m not at all upset that David has one too’ and it’s shitty behaviour and it’s totally unfair to Sara, but at this point Matteo can’t see beyond his own needs.  Sara is very clearly not happy with the situation and she rightly feels sidelined and unappreciated but she is still willing to accept his word when she puts those words into his mouth.  She’s still invested in this fantasy in her head and she is carefully scripting it so that it goes the way she wants it to.  Like last week when she was talking over Matteo to avoid hearing anything he’s saying, here she’s literally telling him what to say to get the outcome she wants.  Leonie has quite obviously got a better handle on the situation, but Sara doesn’t want to hear it.  Sara, again bless her, is very open about what she wants and needs from a relationship and how she’s feeling.  She refuses to take Matteo’s very half-hearted attempt at sweet talking her at face value and demands some accountability.  But it’s the very nature of those demands that sets her doom.  She tells him what she needs and he gives it to her - only it’s a very pale and weak imitation of what she would really like.  He uses her communication skills to play her.

Clip four - I loathe how no-one takes Matteo’s wants and needs into account, pretty much ever.  He’s in such a rut of being used to just going with the flow that even when he tries to assert his own wants people straight up ignore him.  It’s sad that he allows Kiki etc to basically commandeer his home for their party but it’s very much in keeping with how everything else is going.  Last week, Kiki was super irritated because she had a picture of how things were going to go (they would have their event and Matteo would host it) and she couldn’t deal with things not being under her control.  I suspect that if Sara hadn’t been with them and hadn’t done the speaking for Matteo, he would have been bullied into doing what she wanted then too.  He clearly doesn't want to do this , but at least he uses it as a way to get closer to David.  ‘Well, this party idea sucks, but maybe I can get this guy I like there’ and so he goes right up to him and invites him.  While he’s quite checked out of significant parts of his life, when Matteo really wants something he’s not scared of going after it.  Of course, as we see in later events, this gets him in trouble at times.  But for right now it’s nice to see him taking some small control of his life.  This is only possible, of course, because he was able to connect with David fairly quickly after he left last week.  The fact that they are able to do this is testament to how easily they do understand each other and even while its awkward, this relationship doesn’t have the underlying tensions that the one with Sara does.  It’s awkward in a positive way.

Clip five - there’s lots going on in this one.  The studying and how little interest and engagement Matteo has with it.  The consequent stalking of David on Sara’s account, the flow over into looking for David’s favourite movie, and of course Hans and his intrusion into Matteo’s quiet space again and then his attempt at using grindr.  It’s a slow, fairly quiet clip and yet Matteo ends up doing a lot in it.  It shows again, I think, just how much he values his time by himself and how much it works for him to be allowed to do things at his own pace.  I’ve said before I really enjoy seeing the characters in their own environments being chill and just hanging with themselves.  It shows us a lot of how they are.  In this case, Matteo moves very quickly from the boredom of the studying to things he has more interest in.  Like David.  He’s restless and disengaged, using all of his tricks to try to distract himself (playing with plants etc) and then very quickly giving up on what he should do.  I like that we get these sorts of smaller, lower key indications of how much David means to him as well.  It’s not big grandiose expressions of interest, but he watches the movie because David likes it.  He can’t even let himself stare at the picture for too long because it feels like a huge admission (he literally breaks eye contact with it and looks away the way he often does with David himself).  It’s in these unguarded moments in his own space that we really see Matteo and he’s a mess, but he’s a mess who really does want connection and to find meaning with someone.  

Clip six - We all love this one, right?  It’s such a nice moment with David and their almost-kissing is very intense.  But there’s a lot going on before that that I also want to look at.  First, the way the boys call Matteo a ‘player’?????? how???? That’s his girlfriend?????  He is playing her and stringing her along when he shouldn’t, but he’s not playing the field which is generally what we mean when we say this sort of thing.  He has one girl and that one girl has made it pretty clear that he is hers.  In many ways Matteo would be better off if he was playing the field - then there’s no expectations and he gets a rep as a ladies man.  But this works better for him - he can sort of fall into it and follow along with it without having to put any effort in at all.  She literally speaks for him, even.  I have always found it fascinating how much Matteo keeps to himself in this clip.  He hugs the walls like they’re his home and Sara is out there in the middle and there’s such a disconnect between the way they’re both acting.  How would Matteo have coped with the expectations Sara outlines about sex had she not got so blind drunk she had to be taken home?  It seems like it would have led to something very awkward and maybe she’d have finally got the picture.

Laura's little visit to see Matteo is cute too.  Obviously she knows that David is interested and so she checks him out.  It’s a shame it’s interrupted by Hans who then monopolises Matteo, but she was quite deliberate in finding him and speaking with him and I love the sibling support.  David’s shirt he chooses to appeal to Matteo is hilarious too.  The thought process (and the discussions with Laura at home beforehand) must have been brilliant.  ‘I always wear black and am mysterious and aloof and cool, but to attract this boy I will wear a white shirt with a stupid picture on it’ - that it does attract Matteo just shows how attuned David is to his future boyfriend.  Maybe he’s stalking the instagrams too - the Matteo Monday and Florenzi Friday do suggest that this is something that might appeal to Matteo.  

Hans and Andi bother me too.  In much the same way that I dislike that Sara assumes that Matteo not wanting sex with her means he’s gay (like?  It’s okay not to want sex!!  It doesn’t say anything about your sexuality), I don’t like that Hans has talked about Matteo to Andi and allows him to be so forward and aggressively sexual with someone who is very obviously not willing to be out.  I know Hans is trying to be there for Matteo and to encourage him to accept himself (I think it’s pretty clear that he knows or thinks Matteo likes guys).  But this is a party with all of Matteo’s friends.  What did they think would happen?  Why did they think he’d react in any way other than the one he does?  Hans looks confused when Matteo pushes away and leaves, but why?  This behaviour is entirely consistent with everything we know of his character. That it ends in an actual panic attack makes it all much more sad and difficult to watch.  Honestly, outing people when they’re not ready is not cool and Hans should know this.

The panic attack itself is so well done.  There’s no dialogue and yet we can see very obviously how Matteo is feeling and just how ‘normal’ this is to him.  He has a set of behaviours that he follows to try to take the edge off.  He throws things (this is his go-to when he’s stressed and he does it a LOT), he tries weed and he finally tries music and sitting by himself, cuddling a cushion for comfort.  I know a million people have discussed this at length, but I don’t think we can speak about this clip without at least touching on it.  Everything about it is done so well and it all combines to allow Matteo’s feelings to shine through.  I love that it’s allowed to happen at a party and that we see very clearly how these things can be overwhelming for characters.  I won’t go on anymore, but it’s just great and the acting is so perfect.  I genuinely think this small part of this clip is probably my favourite acting out of everything in this show.

And then of course we have the stuff after everyone else has left.  Again, a million people have discussed this in a million ways, but I love how this scene again shows how easily they get each other, how good they are at communicating with each other and how quickly they get on the same page.  Matteo has no trouble at all saying what he thinks and pressing for information.  This parallels Sara in some ways - she is like this with Matteo, making her wants and needs clear and putting herself on the line.  Again, this is all very good set up for later on when Matteo finally finds himself in her position and realises just how much his behaviour hurt her because he’s living her side.  However, unlike Matteo, David is quite clear and honest back.  And that’s why they can so quickly move into a potential kiss.  As with Matteo and Sara, there are close ups as they lean into each other, but somehow it feels like there’s more space for them to breathe here.  The camera allows them both to be in the frame naturally, whether Sara is often invading into Matteo’s shots.  Here, they’re both on board and both want it.  I like that Matteo gets a moment to be open and himself after his experience with Andi.  It must take a lot of courage to do this after he was so badly affected earlier.  Testament to David’s calming presence which reassures rather than pushes, and how honest they are with each other - there’s no way David could miss how relieved Matteo is when he finds out that Laura is David’s sister not his girlfriend.  They’re both very brave here - David for telling Matteo he looks good and Matteo for trying to take that next step even after his panic attack.   And I think that’s a nice place to leave this.  Because that’s already such a lot and this has all already been said before.  

[very-feral-lesbian]

Oh yes I can totally see Taylor having hoped to get a little info simply because of how she acted to get his phone earlier in the season. That's always been a bit of theme with her. Even down to how they had her admit she wasnt the driving force to ditching the BTS filming she did of the 118. I can see it coming down to both of them having to choose a side TBH. And maybe that really has been the plan all along. I had a cold all last week and did an entire rewatch and honestly you see the writing change for Eddie and Buck right after Bucks injury. They went from cute funny bros to definitely more. And you know with all the characters you have to imagine the writers have story arcs they are building. That's why I think Anna and Taylor were placed in the stories in the capacity they were. They were never meant to be real significant others but character development if you will. Thats why I'm watching Eddie the closest because the Anna storyline just doesnt make sense unleas he's exploring deeper themes of his identity he hadn't considered do to his growing dependency and feelings for Buck. As a special needs father also choosing Buck as a gaurdian has deeper implications than your typical he's yours till 18. When he says fight for him he knows Christopher will always need an advocate. I wouldn't be surprised if some of his not wanting to confront his Buck feelings also has to do with not potentially taking Buck froM Christopher.

i think taylor represents more of bucks attitudes and feelings about himself from season 1/2and he’s just simply not that person anymore. buck has matured exponentially since those episodes. he has grown into himself as a person and learned about his wants and needs not only in relationships but just in life in general. i just think that she was good for him at one point in his life but he’s no longer benefiting him.

i definitely agree with you that there have been points where the writers have shifted buck and eddies relationship, not only did it get more significant after buck was injured but also after the well and of course after the will.

sometimes when I start to think about eddie putting buck in the well as chris‘s legal guardian, i get a little shocked that that’s something that we even got. that is a huge, huge deal coming from eddie. eddie is extremely protective of chris and it is a true testament to how strong eddie and bucks bond is that they have known each other for approximately 3 to 4 years and he is more comfortable with him around his son than his own parents, grandparents, or even aunts/sisters.

and due to his protective nature over chris, him having feelings for buck is complicated for him, he’s going to be hesitant about allowing that relationship to get to another level, in fear that if it goes wrong and that buck will abandon chris. but we all know that that would never happen. buck is such a parent to chris and would never let that get in the way. they just need to allow themselves to explore that relationship, and it’s going to take time but it will be beneficial for both of them as well as chris.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. Why is no one talking about one of the most stupid things we've seen in this webtoon thus far? I'm talking about the fact that H&P deadass pull a "I nominate Hades as an attorney to defend me in this case uwu" and the mf accepts (clearly the had it planned) although he is part of the jury.

Now, I don't have fast pass but I really hope this whole thing is forbidded by Zeus in the next episodes. It makes no fucking sense! Hades is not a lawyer, and as a god is not associated with law/justice (him being a king doesn't excuse this, he is there to "judge" not to defend the accused).

This really proves that absolutely nothing works against Persephone ever. She is able to get away with murder and have zero consequences for her actions, all while the smurf plays daddy with her, spoils her and defends her in court WHICH SHOULD NOT BE EVEN POSSIBLE LMAO.

From OP: It’s allowed because ‘loophole’.

2. I would like to add to what that person said about the characters looking too stiff. Literally that panel towards the end of ep. 179 where P said "I nominate Hades" is the best example of this. Wtf is wrong with her hand? It looks like a wooden doll with her arm extended like that. The only explanation I have for this (aside from the fact that the art style sucks big time) is that she's trying to imitate the art style on the ancient Greek amphoras (amphorae?), but even the scenes depicted on them had signs of natural movement, with the bodies looking much less stiff of course.

3. Anyone else wanna mention the backgrounds are also just not there at this point? Like she was already bad with this in the beginning but at least there was some sketch up lines to give the impression they were in a real space, but now it’s literally just blank voids of color and that’s it, and often not good use of color either (why is the above land pink while the underworld is blue? It makes it hard too tell what’s going on). There aren’t even establishing shots to at least give the readers an idea where they are and then becoming abstract about it, it’s all abstract and flat, which doesn’t help when the characters also are so lacking in character design and aren’t really doing anything pose or action wise. The world around them don’t even seem like actual places, it just seems like a set, and a very cheap one at that. It just ends up looking so boring in all fronts.

4. I don't know why it's only happening now but Persephone's eyebrows have started to piss me off lately. Why are they pure black? And when did they become so thick? It doesn't fit in with the rest of her fair and hairless appearance, it just looks like her brow artist did a piss poor job on them.

5. it honestly makes me sad looking at the first few lo episodes. were they perfect? god no, but at least the art was unique and had some actual thought put in it, but by around episode 25 or so you begin to notice the style is becoming less and less, until you have what it is now which is completely different, and not for the better. i know styles change and all, but this is a case where it got so much worse, losing its unique factor to look so generic and lacking instead. it make me sad.

6. Ive noticed LO fans dont seem to enjoy any other greek myth works, only LO. for example there's a huge overlap in PJO fans liking Hades Games and BoZ, and Hadestown fans towards TSOA, and so on and so on, meanwhile LO overwhelmingly don't even read other HxP stuff like Punderworld and openly hate stuff like PJO. They tend to only consume LO while claiming to be "big myth fans". It reminds me of Potterheads who claim to be big book nerds when they've really only read the series and nothing else.

7. its truly a testament to how bad the writing is from RS in that she honestly thought it was a dramatic twist apollo and artemis of all people were children to zeus, despite looking exactly like him and not like their mother. also, tbh, the fact hera humiliated leto and treats the twins like garbage, it is any wonder theyre being depicted so negatively in LO? theyre only used to prop up hades and p's "friendships" to eros and daphne. artemis is even the "bad" maiden. it's all so stupid.

8. the thing to me is no retelling of myths will be perfect, how could they be? but LO takes the cake at claiming its so researched and is the actual truth and is 99%+ correct (both from rachel's words as well as by her fans) with both refusing to even admit to any mistakes and refusing any critique, especially from greeks themselves, that's where the issue is to me. you cannot claim to be so well researched only to be upset when people notice the many obvious inaccuracies. that's not how it works.

9. there's a part of me that wonders why LO has never featured any MLM romances like poseidon, zeus, or apollo's many male lovers, but then i remembered she doesn't care about poseidon and both zeus & apollo are both evil to her, her made up WLW romances are terrible, and all relationships that cant be used to prop up hades and persephone are made cruel and abusive, so maybe that's a blessing in disguise that she's so bad at even remembering LGBTQ+ relationships, much less depicting them.

-----FP Spoiler/Mention-----

10. The whole trial thing just puts into perspective how much plot points go off the rails. I was actually looking forward to finally hearing from Demeter that Persephone IS a fertility goddess and them having a argument before the trial, but then it just left on a Clift hanger. And then oh wow Hades is being her lawyer, which??, pretty sure that’s not how that works but okay whatever he’s going against his brothers. But he doesn’t even make an opening statement because the other side does instead. And then Hermes shows up and his backstory starts and everything gets so muddled. I’m not an expert on court cases but seeing the witness be called up right after and the other side just make a bunch of shi up instead of stating a pathos but accurate opening statement hurts my brain. Not to mention the jury and people just speaking out at random? Like can Rachel just write something serious for once? Or at least somewhat accurate? Legally blonde had a better comedy court case scene than whatever this is.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

Want to add onto the TSR discourse but too scared to reblog because this is a hot take. TSR was a broken trope. Zuko was totally showing off for Katara, demeaning Aang so he'd seem like the proper choice for her, and she was silent and then hugged him, indicating her approval, but she doesn't choose him. I really wish Bryke would explain why they had Katara be that OOC if they weren't going to put her with Zuko. I'm not complaining, but TSR was total ZK setup that didn't come off in the end.

im gonna have to agree to disagree with you, anon. tsr is an episode about three things:

- katara and her mother

- katara's anger, grief, and guilt

- katara and forgiveness

zuko desperately wanted katara's approval and forgiveness, yes, but he was not romantically interested in her. in literally the previous two episodes we see that he's still hung up on mai. and tbh, zuko was pretty entitled in his demand for katara for forgive him ("Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you?"), too, which is reflective of both his insecurities and his upbringing. so, no real romantic vibes there.

katara hugged zuko because she was finally at peace with his presence in the gaang. prior to and through most of tsr, katara was heavily struggling with zuko being there. she didn't trust him because of how he'd manipulated her (e.g. with her mother's necklace), how he'd tried to kill her (book 1 was rough for zuko, let's be real), how he'd betrayed her in the crystal caverns, how he'd helped azula kill aang (even if someone doesn't ship kataang, they can't deny that aang is incredibly important in katara's life), and how he'd hired an assassin to hunt them down. not to mention she hates the fire nation because of what they've done to her people and specifically her mother. katara forgiving and hugging zuko is a testament to her strength. it is katara allowing herself to let her anger out before letting it go (like aang advised her). there's no romance to it.

you can argue katara was ooc in tsr, i guess, but that's kind of the point. katara is angry. she is hurt. she is confused and maybe scared and clearly frustrated. katara had been combating her internalized guilt and anger at both herself and her mother for so. long. and tsr is when it finally comes to light. so sure, maybe it initially seems ooc, but really i think it was simply the straw that broke the camel's back. katara finds herself forced to acknowledge how she blames herself for her mother's death and how much she blames her mother, too, for leaving such big shoes for her to fill.

tsr has its issues, sure, like any ep, but none of them have to do with z.utara, because the episode was never about their relationship.

it's about katara, and kya. plain and simple.

[clare-with-no-i]

Your commentary & reblogs on Ron and Hermione got me thinking- why dyou reckon they took so long to confess their feelings for each other? I've always thought it's because hermione had a fear failure of rejection and Ron seemed to like women that were conventionally beautiful (Madam Rosemerta Fluer, etc). He also said something about some girl's nose being off center. And these comments probably made hermione more insecure...it's been so long since I read the books tho and I don't recall if there was anything else . Would love to know what you think if you want to answer 😀

oh man. this is REALLY not my area of expertise LOL.

but I'd say it's just because it crept up on them both really slowly - one of the things about this book series is that we see them from eleven until eighteen, and with this, we see their growing consciousnesses about looks, dating, etc etc. Ron is absolutely pointedly shown as paying attention to the "attractive" girls in HP more (justice for Fleur Delacour, who was mistreated in the books from mf day one), but I've always thought that this is somewhat an attempt to juxtapose him with Harry, who's so intently focused on his feelings for Cho that he doesn't even process that there are other women around him who are 'potential partners' - figuratively, or in the case of the Yule Ball, literally LOL.

in the first part of the series, Romione's relationship is soooo slowly introduced to the reader. tbh, in many ways, we're left questioning why they're even friends throughout many of the books - but in Book 4, we see Hermione give her first real insight into Ron's behavior when he and Harry are on the outs, which shows a moment of solidarity between the two 'best-friend' characters that we rarely see; this, combined with how she's reintroduced midway through as the desirable, attractive girl that came out of nowhere, is such a testament to how blind Harry is to hers and Ron's relationship. the narrative focus is through him, and because of that, there are so many things that are left to inference and so-called 'behind the scenes.'

I haven't gotten to many of their overwhelmingly positive interactions yet (aside from the iconic "you asked a question, and she answered it!!!") as I'm still midway in GoF, but once I know more and can dissect it, I will let you know!

[ziracona]

claud/jake/dwight anon here! maybe i’ll just go by wisteria since i’ll be popping up in your askbox from time to time :D

shippy hcs would be wonderful! i was referring to them as an established poly relationship post fic; i actually saw the comment where you were talking about how claudette can fit into different relationships and thought that was so fitting (and such a testament to the beauty of her character, but thats another long winded ask to send another day). once again, thanks for putting out ILM into this world. it’s a joy to read, reread, and treasure <3

Alrighty Wisteria! 

Also I’m glad because I initially read it that way and was halfway to answering when I was like ‘wait,’ but my instincts were correct haha.

Claudette/Jake/Dwight is an interesting poly ship. It’s funny, because obviously both of them love her and she loves both of them. Just, I don’t think her priority has ever been having a romantic relationship, and neither has theirs. I also think it just kind of...wouldn’t occur to Dwight or Jake that that was a thing. Like, they know about polyamoury, they know it exists. But I feel like straight up there’d like, be an escape anniversary party or something, and she gives them both super heart felt gifts she clearly loved to make, and they’re both touched, give hugs, pass her their own sweetly made things, last little group hug, she’s like “Love you guys” and as she runs off to go give out other gifts to other loved ones, Jake’s super sincerely like “You too,” and Dwight’s like *looks at him, looks at her, smiles* “Yeah. Love you.” and she’s gone, and someone who they were chatting with before (probably Meg, Nea, or Ace) would joke something like “Why didn’t you two just also marry Claudette? You’d be such a happy trio” casually offhand, and they’d be like “Haha yeah!  ... ... ... haha...yeah.... ? (O_O);” type thing that would have to happen, because otherwise they just like, wouldn’t think about it. 

Once they did, though, I feel like it would definitely be the same event that clued them both in, so they’d both be like “Hmmm” at the same time, and pick up on that, and talk first, and be like “...Yeah, I mean. Maybe? But would she even be comfortable with that? Is it weird?” And Jake, who has the most secure identity in this area, would not really have any issue from the get-go and would mostly be like “Boy am I stupid for this never occurring to me once”. Dwight would need more time to think and talk stuff through and figure himself out, but is a lot more comfortable than he was. Claudette would be the last one. They’d both approach her at some point, and it would be incredibly awkward and kind of a disaster despite the fact they practiced and thought they had a gameplan, and she’s just like, “What? ...What?” and confused, and she’s a very worry-prone person, so she’d be like “Oh no, did I do something? Is this bad? Do they just feel bad for me? Since I’m not dating and they want me to feel included? Is this a bad idea? What do I even actually want?” and since she’s got the least experience dating, she’d take the longest to think things through. Would talk to Meg, and Quentin, and Philip, and her parents, and Ace. And they’d all help, but Meg would be the most help. Because Meg’s simple. She’d just say, “Well, do you want to be dating them both?” and Claudette would be like, “Well. I don’t know. I love them. And it might be nice to have a romantic relationship with someone I love someday. But I don’t know if this is how I want that, or if it would be good, because I have no idea what this would look or feel like,” and Meg would be like, “Well then why don’t you just like, go on a few dates/hangs like you’re dating, and see if it’s fun and good, or uncomfortable and bad, and if you three all feel like it fits and makes life even better, go for it, and if it turns out to be a mistake like that time Jake and I really thought we’d get some hella traction making out, then say ‘Well that was awful lol. Friends it is!’ and Susie and I will take all of you for drunk lazer-tag.”

And that works, because well, it’s more sensible than any amount of introspection without experience, or thinking, or worrying is. So they give it a go for like a week, and it’s awkward as hell for like the first fifteen minutes, but this is a trio of people who’ve known each other so long and been so fundamentally entrenched in each others’ lives for years, and love and trust each other so completely and deeply, it really can’t be that awkawrd, and everyone has prepped best they can, and kind of laugh at themselves, and just like, spend the day at theme park, and get food, and laugh and talk about life like always, but just this time with a kind of romantic shade, and it’s nice. And there’s a lot of days like that--not all so big, more just, at home, hanging out, doing whatever. And it is weird, because none of them has done this before, but. It’s also fun. And none of them have any weird kind of favoritism insecurities, because they were already pretty well and equally entrenched in each others’ lives before, and it’s fun. Jake is strategic because he’s kind of the planning mind behind this, and gets advice from Meg, and they marathon a lot of Leverage with only Jake knowing this is a sneaky ploy to help the other two get more comfortable, because there’s just not a ton of good filmic poly trio rep, but damn if that show hasn’t got a great one. 

I think the trial period just kind of hits the end of it’s week and Jake and Dwight are like “So do you want to keep going?” and she’s like “...Yeah. : ) “ and so they do, and it’s like that for a while. They all move at their own paces, and in their own clearly discussed (and, as well as they know each other, usually already mostly known) comfort zones, and it’s fun, and nice. It also helps that everyone else is not just supportive and chill, but most of them are like, goofily into it.

They’ve been dating for like, four months before any of them explicitly calls it that officially. But it’s cute. Jake wants it to be official so he gets people anniversary gifts and then is kind of embarrassed but more pleased with himself, and it’s very cute and goes over well.

Everyone puts in work to figuring out how to keep this healthy and good, since none of them had a lot of preexisting knowledge for being with multiple people. They all do that their own way. Claudette spends hours and hours doing research online and checking for tips from people online, and really works hard to be a good girlfriend, and it’s very sweet. Meg and especially Quentin both have no real idea how to help her, but clock a lot of hours trying and doing pretty good. So secondarily do Nancy and Susie.

I’m pretty sure eventually they’d have another wedding, legally official or not--and not because any of them really feel a need to, but because they think it would be fun and Claudette should get to dress up too, and tbh it would be cute. I feel like Meg, Ace, and Susie are major factors pushing for this. 

All of their parents think it’s a little weird, but their kids were missing for like 4 years getting tortured in hell, and they’re all reasonable people; they don’t say shit. Also, they all like all the other parties involved, so they’re like “Rat’s don’t understand these things” (this is a Muppet Christmas Carol inside joke I use all the time even though only like 4 people get it but I hope it makes some sense from context lol), but figure they don’t really have to to be happy their kids are happy and loved and doing well.

Meg is like “Fuck why didn’t we think of this. Why have I been supporting it when I could have nabbed her for me and Susie?” and Quentin doesn’t say shit but he thinks very loudly, “I know, right? Nancy and me are over here like ‘same hat’ fml,” but genuinely they’re very happy for the three of them and with the relationships they have. There’s just a lot of love to go around.

While there’s probably some kind a wedding eventually, definitely about as soon as they start dating, Jake and Dwight start calling her their wife. She’s flustered and like “But I’m note! I’m just your girlfriend.” and Dwight’s like “Yeah, but that makes it sound weirdly unbalanced,” and Jake who looked this up for this moment is like, “Well, by Quebec common law marriage standards, you actually are our wife--we cohabitated for over three years in the realm, so,” and Dwight’s like “whoa for real?” and she’s just like : o   But it kinda helps and she accepts it. The downside is Nea hears the story and tells Meg and together they start just fuckin calling all their realm friends their spouses goofily 24/7 when they want shit like “David, my wonderful strong husband, can you pleeeeease get me a sodie from the fridge? : D <3″ and it’s very funny but it’s also pure chaos. Like, so much more than usual.

[noethicalconsumptionunderdisney]

Ranked: Hannah Montana — Mamaw vs. Dolly

So this seemed like a fun one for me to do!  These are two of the most iconic recurring guest stars, so naturally I had to pit them against each other (or, well, pit their episodes against each other).  This competition isn’t particularly serious, but it is a nice excuse for me to talk about some of my favorite episodes on the show.  Like before, I’m going in reverse-order of how much I liked them, or Worst->Best, so I can save the best for last.  

“B-B-B-Bad to the Chrome” (Season Three)

It’s a testament to how awesome Vicki Lawrence is that even in the “worst” episode she’s in, she still brings it and is in many ways the strongest part of it.  This one loses out mainly on writing, and me fucking hating the subplot.  I’m sorry.  “You forgot some really arbitrary timestamp I decided to put on our relationship without telling you, which means you don’t love me” will just never be anything but annoying to me ever, no matter how much I like the couple involved.  Honestly, it was shit like that that made me glad I didn’t do a lot of dating in high school.

The main plot is kind of weak too tbh, but I’m still in some ways fond of it, because it’s very clear that it’s all coming from a place of love.  They replace her car because they love her, and they try to recreate the old crappy car because they love her, and she pretends not to notice because she loves them right back.  The best scenes are the one-on-one interactions between Miley and Mamaw, where you can see how much they understand each other.  It was because of those that I almost bumped this up one… but they weren’t quite enough to sell me on this episode.  Sorry again.

“You Give Lunch A Bad Name” (Season Three)

This one, again, not a very strong episode, but there are a few reasons I liked this one just a little bit more.  Part of it is I’m a sucker for Miley/Jackson centrics, and they strike such a perfect balance of brother-sister solidarity and sibling rivalry in this: the song in the beginning, the schemes, the mimic fights, them immediately pointing at each other when Mamaw asks them who the “guiltiest grandchild” is.  Another part is that weirdly, Lilly and Oliver seem to have more of their natural chemistry in this episode than they do in the one where they’re actually dating.  Case in point, their little quiet communication to leave in the middle of the siblings’ bickering without having to say a word to each other.

What’s interesting about this one is, Mamaw isn’t necessarily wrong that the kids are gonna take advantage of their dad being gone.  That’s exactly what they’re planning to do.  But then she takes it too far and holds on too hard, treating them like they’re 10 rather than 16 and 18 respectively.  There’s a classic conflict here of teenagers thinking they’re more mature than they really are, versus their family knowing they’re still kids but treating them like outright children instead of meeting them where they are. And I think it’s harder for her to accept they’re growing up than it is for Robby Ray because she isn’t around very much to see it happening.  While she recognizes in the end that they had good reason to be embarrassed, that theme of holding on to how things were because she’s afraid of losing them seems to be a consistent one with her in later seasons.

“I Am Mamaw, Hear Me Roar!” (Season Four)

First off, I just want to say that I think having a Dolly episode and a Mamaw episode after “I’ll Always Remember You,” and right after each other, was a really smart choice, especially the way they did it.  Dolly can help her embrace what it’s like to be all-celebrity, all the time, and Mamaw reminds her not to forget her family, and how hard that kind of life can actually be. Not just for Miley, but for the people around her.  They just tie really well into that whole, “She’s always had the best of both worlds, but now she’s gotta learn what living without her secret feels like” theme that late stage Season 4 has going for it.

One thing that always strikes me about this episode is how it puts so much of her actions in context, not just in this episode, but retroactively.  Of course Robby Ray forgot to visit her when he was younger and his own music career was in full swing.  Of course she would panic when the same seems to be happening to Miley, when they can’t take one picture or have one tea without Miley getting hounded by her fans, because she doesn’t have Hannah Montana to hide behind anymore. (Of course, I’m not so sure the timeline adds up there, but I’m gonna let that go because of the point it was trying to make.)  Being smacked in the face with Miley’s fame is really a wakeup call for all of them, but that makes Miley’s efforts to make sure Mamaw understands how much she cares all the more sweet.

“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)

I’d initially put “Kiss It Goodbye” here, but I switched them when I realized I was underrating it— that episode was better than I remembered.  But I like this one, too!

This is Dolly’s first appearance and introduction, and she comes in with a bang.  The frou-frou, the flowers, and of course, the infamous camera that kickstarts the conflict of the episode.  Well, sort of— the real conflict is Miley’s confused feelings for Jake Ryan, torn between “falling all over him,” playing hard to get, and not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her vulnerable.  The way it ends up intersecting with Oliver’s subplot of trying to compile a goodbye video for the principal is brilliant, and that sneaking scene?  Just amazing.

Of course, this puts her right back where she started, and she ends up regretting it when it’s seemingly too late for her and Jake, but her ripping up the flowers is funny, and then Dolly gets to show off her singing chops a little when she and Robby Ray cheer her up in a really sweet scene.  Beyond that, the subplot is… fine.  It’s pretty forgettable, but I liked it okay.  It’s not frustrating like some of the subplots in previous episodes on this list, but not quite as awesome as…

#3: “Kiss It Goodbye” (Season Four)

And with that, we’ve cracked the top three!  This one surprised me upon rewatch.  I knew I liked it, I just didn’t know how much I liked it until I saw it again. I think part of it might be me attributing some of my own feelings about Cancel Culture as a whole and how that’s affected us for the worse overall, celebrity or not, as well as some meta-significance to Miley’s career, both at the time and afterwards.  But let me get into the episode itself rather than getting on those tangents.

Miley starts off being a little careless with her image… but this is understandable, as she’s used to having her privacy, and living without it’s gonna take some getting used to.  Dolly has this legendary entrance in a personalized helicopter, complete with a pink ladder.  She uses her own know-how about fame to help Miley navigate the paparazzi, reassures her after a brutal interview with Colin Lassiter, and then encourages both her and Robby Ray to sing with her at her performance.  While both of them object at first, Robby Ray eventually gets up the courage to go… which is the push Miley needs to get past her fears and get back on the horse herself.

Beyond the main plotline and overall message that I love, it’s really quotable, and has one of the best subplots this show has ever had.  Rico goes practically catatonic because the Stewarts, a family of “idiots” he looks down upon, fooled him, an evil genius with an ego that can’t handle that.  I also like that we see Lilly’s compassionate side coming back in this episode in both plotlines, it’s the one thing I felt season 4’s Lilly was lacking overall, and it was fun to see her point her sharp tongue towards herself for once this season.  And of course, Jackson enjoying Rico’s suffering, but ultimately being the one to help him out of it was perfect, and bringing back the choir from earlier that season was even better.

#2: “I Will Always Loathe You” (Season Two)

Before anyone gets mad that this wasn’t my #1 pick, let me just say for the record that this episode is AWESOME.  Mamaw and Dolly’s rivalry is so explosive and they play off each other so beautifully, and the culmination of that into the “Granny Smackdown” is so well-done.  And look, yeah, I know that there were stunt doubles and probably a mannequin or two involved, but I don’t care, it’s a fantastic scene.  I love Robby Ray trying to make peace and ending up getting dragged into it, I love Hannah Montana awkwardly trying to salvage the situation, and ultimately breaking them up, and I love Jackson and Lilly scarfing down popcorn and watching the whole thing unfold from home.

If I had to pick which one of these episodes was the funniest, it would be this one, no contest.  The subplot here is great too; simple yes, but I think the simplicity works in contrast to just how much is going on in the main plot, and Oliver’s shame at his own involvement in the end?  Wonderful.  The contrast between the two women picking clothes for Miley’s award show, and the decision to genuinely make up after seeing how much it hurt Miley were executed beautifully too.  We don’t get the sense that they’re going to be BFFs, but I do like that the ending scene shows promise, that they’re at least capable of getting along, when they want to.   As Miley says, “You’re trying.  That is all I’ve ever wanted.”

So yeah, this episode?  Amazing.  But… not quite my favorite.

#1: “Grandmas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Play Favorites” (Season One)

Remember when I said I’m a sucker for Miley/Jackson centrics?  Yeah.  This episode was probably where all of that began for me.  (Also the beginning of my feelings about Jackson going from “oh he’s pretty funny” to “LET ME LOVE YOU,” but I’ll try to keep my stanning to a minimum here.)

We start off with what appears to be a fairly straightforward story.  Hannah Montana is meeting the queen.  Jackson has a volleyball game.  Mamaw’s coming to visit, and she’s critical of Robby Ray, particularly his eating habits, she’s tepidly nice to Miley, but treats her as an afterthought, and she heaps praise and adoration and attention onto Jackson by the bucketload.  On the surface, it seems that this is about Mamaw unfairly favoring Jackson over Miley.  Right up until this happens:

“She’s gonna insult the queen and ruin my command performance all because of her ‘little Jackson.’  It’s always about you!”

“Me?!  Well, it’s never about me!  Everything in this family revolves around you!”

One comeback, and the tables are turned.  Yes, Mamaw hasn’t treated Hannah Montana getting to sing for the Queen of England with the respect and admiration it deserves.  But Robby Ray and Miley haven’t been treating Jackson with the respect and admiration he deserves.  When Miley snarks that Mamaw would rather go to Jackson’s volleyball game than her performance, she responds with, “Well, if I don’t, who will?  I don’t see either one of you heading for the door.”  She doesn’t ignore Miley because she loves her any less.  In an ironic turn of events, the reason she ignores Miley isn’t about her at all.

I do like, though, that the episode doesn’t treat this as “two wrongs make a right.”  Mamaw still apologizes for making Miley feel “invisible,” like her accomplishments don’t matter, like she doesn’t care.  Jackson feeling invisible because his dad and his sister and the whole rest of the world treat him that way, doesn’t excuse Mamaw treating Miley that way.  And the fact that all of it’s unintentional, and that the neglect is coming from someone who does, genuinely, love that person, doesn’t erase the harm it causes. This is a lesson for both of them, and Miley comes away with a greater understanding of what her brother goes through.

There is still a part of me that wishes this had gotten elaborated on more in the show?  Not that Jackson doesn’t bring up the favoritism issue multiple times afterward, but it’s not treated seriously very often after this, considering how often it comes up.  It saddens me to think that, for all the efforts they make in this episode to make sure they’re there for Jackson in the end, Miley and Robby Ray still end up falling into the same patterns with Jackson as the show goes on, and worse.   I can’t help but think this pattern of neglect and Jackson’s deterioration into “the family failure” are related, and while I don’t need every single episode to treat it as A Big Deal, the truth is, it is a big deal, and I wish the show had been more consistent in actually taking it seriously.

So that’s my list!  In the end, I think we can all agree Mamaw and Dolly are both pretty iconic characters, and made the show all the richer for being on it.  I’ve loved getting a chance to look at their episodes again, and make sure to stay tuned for my next Ranked post for this series, where I may be talking about another iconic recurring character on this show….  (Hint: one of these episodes is on that list, too.)  Until next time!

[gaykey]

Usual itsay anon here, just finished ep3 of ipytm and i think im having a mild stroke bc im like livid and heartbroken but mostly livid like what the actual fuck... im sorry but teh is such a fucking asshole. He’s a narcissist and he’s so wrapped up in his own bullshit he really makes my blood boil??? I mean, i was already irked by the way he acted when oh aew told him he wanted to transfer, bc honestly if your friend (nevermind your fucking boyfriend!!) tells you he needs to get away from something that’s hurting him you fucking listen and shut the fuck up, you don’t attack them or tell them they are fickle, but i mean ok, he had big plans for the both of them and it was hard to accept the change, i “get” it... but then the way he treated his friend, like he had any right to make her feel bad for choosing something more secure than acting?? He acts so morally superior to everyone just because he sticked to his own path even tho it’s hard, like everyone else is not willing to make the same sacrifices or work as hard as him, when that’s not the case and everybody is build differently. He has zero empathy for Oh Aew, he just worries about how Oh Aew finding his own place in the world affects HIM and is somehow a crime and then acts like it’s about fear of losing him but it’s not, it’s just about losing control over him. And the way he mocked him for the tattoo and his friends and his choices... that’s fucking disgusting ok??? I get that Oh Aew is maybe too dependent on others, too fragile to stand up for himself and it can become a problem in a relationship, but he’s always been that way and Teh had NO right to treat him like that. You don’t belittle people you love and respect, period. And don’t get me started on the whole cheating mess... my heart literally dropped when he got home and had sex with Oh Aew like it was some sort of experiment to improve his acting. And when Oh Aew saw him and jai kissing... The devastation!!! The humiliation!!! MY POOR FUCKING BABY!!!!!! And Teh is so stupid and full of himself he hasn’t even realized how jai manipulated him to get what he wanted from him. He’s really out there thinking he’s found someone better suited for him than his bf of three years who practically loved him for their entire lives (and who’s sacrificing time and energies for his stupid play’s poster!!!! IM LIVID!!!)???? THE DELUSION!!! I really hope he learns his lesson the hard way, with oh aew leaving his sorry ass to achive bigger and greater things... bc that’s the only way he’s going to grow the fuck up and start respecting others.

Ps: sorry for this long ass rant but MY MIND IS BLOWN!!!!! tbh the intensity of my rage is a testament to how good the writing of this show is... it’s like im mad at someone real, that’s how truthful the script is!!!

ok first off anon, i replied to your last message like you were talking about ep 3 because i'm dumb, so, i'm sorry if you got spoiled, or confused 😭

but yeah, to all of this.

this show really does get under your skin and make you feel shit. you get sooooo invested.

no need to apologise, i really enjoyed reading this lol, this was me throughout the entire ep.

also yeah, one thing that really angers me is how teh humiliates oh aew and makes him feel so small? even if it wasn't intentional. he's been doing it for a while, like that scene at the dinner. it enrages me.

god this show is just-

pls, anyone who's reading this and intrigued, WATCH IT.

you won't be disappointed.

[insomniacalrealist]

defy them | orphan black

sooo after my last post inspired (is that the word for that?) some people to rewatch Orphan Black too....I thought about why not start talking about my favourite scenes :P There are a lot. But let’s start with the Cophine scene that made that relationship even more special than it already was. Tbh I’ve been rewatching that scene a lot these days, I think even more than back then when it first aired. The episode as a whole is sooo good. I love the character centric episodes in Season 5. Cosima was my favourite clone since the beginning and yes, I’ve been also a Cophine stan since. And I also liked Delphine from the start.  Watching Season 5 still gives me that feeling of pure joy that we got to see them together again. I think it is a huge testament to the show that they brought her back and also to Evelyne who worked with John and Graeme around her schedule to create that magical last chapter of their story on the show. 

I love all the scenes that they have together in that episode. But as the headline says....the “defy them” scene goes straight into my heart. I do love the flashback at the beginning. Their story comes full circle and that literally with the 360° scene towards the end. That scene still makes me feel so much. And it stuck with me all those years. I’ve been thinking about it a lot these days. I love the way that episode is directed and the way they put the music into the scene. It just gets you. If you’re ready for it or not. I’ve also read some more about the scene, how they put it together and both, Tatiana’s and Evelyne’s thoughts behind it. I did read some stuff about it when it first aired but I found out two weeks ago that the lifting part was coming from Evelyne while shooting. Which, WOW! 

I think now that scene resonates a lot more with me like it did back then. As this quarantine situation goes....you do have time to think about stuff. And yeah, Cophine made me think about love. And that is love that we got to see between those two characters. Real love, with all its ups and downs. Btw...I love when shows do that. Portray real love with all its good and bad things. Raw love. Anyway, so me thinking about love is not something I do on the daily basis because I do not believe in it that much, for myself. I am a sucker for love stories tho. So you see I’m a romantic but don’t admit it. I cut it out of my life. But as I get older, I’m okay with the thought, that maybe I will have something like that in my life. And that would be nice. When I started watching OB I was 22. I can say that the show changed me. As many of us, I’m also someone who loves a lesbian storyline on tv shows :P When I was 15 or 16 I watched the l-word and that was my first glance I got, what it can be like. The couple that really got into my heart were Naomi and Emily from Skins some years later. God, I loved them. And that fucking Skins Fire Episode destroyed me. I just realised that, those episode aired in the same year as Orphan Black came out. And thinking about it now I remember that i started with Orphan Black the same month. And so became Cophine, despite my shattered heart, the second pair (Hollstein came after them. And yes, that’s it. I’m picky when it comes to shipping :P) I shipped so hard. And I stayed hopeful even when Delphine got shot. I think I will never not watch Season 5 feeling this pure joy to see a story with a happy ending. And thinking about it, I know they changed me. Because they showed us that anything can be possible.