#a racoon with a sniper

[soukokumychildren]

(Poe: You're in good hands Someone: Huh? Karl: Headshots person from twenty feet away Poe: Well, paws) So I was discussing that in my AU Poe definitely takes his sniper skills more seriously, then my friend went off the rails and we began throwing back and fourth ideas, so then it came to this and I had to draw it... I present to you Karl with a Sniper Rifle

[gophergal]

Shout-out to women who don't shave. Y'all have the right idea cause that shit is annoying

[ask-redsoldier-tf2]

Sniper appeared for only a brief moment, quietly greeting Soldier with a short hello. He had something in his hands, once he held it out it appeared to be a cockle shell. He said something about raccoons, how ‘enrichment wise’ they like seashells and something about feeding habits. He figured that the Soldiers Lieutenant companion might enjoy it.

@thecozycamper

Soldier just accepted whatever Sniper gave him with a small salute, walking off in the opposite direction to give it to the raccoons that were expecting him near the back of the base

[bread-is-my-life]

We. Need. Sniper. With. Possum. >:D

Your style is quite cute!! What about the Sniper hanging out with a possum or or like a kiwi Sniper??

I didnt know what kiwi sniper was until now and im grateful just for that!! KIWI SNIPER....

This man is adorable,,, what da hale

[robin374]

Sniper with a s/o that is really into fashion n skincare, like a ken/barbie , but likes sniper bc he a racoon in the garage that they adore

Sniper with a S/O who's into skincare and fashion

Notes: omg you right, he's a garage racoon. Now you've given me another nickame for him thank you.

>>Absolutely loves to watch you do your skincare. He's always behind you admiring your face and how you apply your products. However, in terms of fashion he will wait for you to be comfortable enough to change clothes around him, because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

>>He still doesn't know how he managed to be in a relationship with you. I mean, have you seen yourself? You're pretty asf, cool, a greek sculpture, an art masterpiece made carefully by an old artist, an angel, a beautiful entity that made an adveturer fall head over heels for them. Thet's you, the love of his life. The one and only.

>>And he's... there... Throwing piss at people.

>>Also, he just asks random questions that can be a bit morally questionable.

"Is there any skincare face mask made out of piss?" "Sniper, you should really stop with that piss obsession you have, it's starting to worry me." "...Piss off."

>>After building up some courage, he will start to put his arms around your waist while your in front of the mirror doing your skincare routine. He will kiss your neck because he doesn't want to bother you or stop you.

>> He will try to help you with your outfits. Key word: try. He only dresses for his work, he doesn't know more of fashion. Or he will say what everyone wants him to expect. "You're better with your clothes off..." I'm looking at you reader, you made me write this. Are you happy? (I hope so)

[moon-0f-m4rs]

Mercs with a borrower friendo :3

(this is my 1st time writing anything so ummmmm...... hiii)

Scout

Yaps, yaps and yaps more,, and ya gotta bear it. Like, whenever he was annoying anyone else in the team, they'd just walk away or get him to get away. But now,, cant do nothing about it. At first he definitely took advantage of it, but over time i feel like he'd pay a bit more mind to not being too insufferable. Also, therapy sessions every now nd then. Man needs a bit comfort even if he can't admit it. Hes not that bad when it comes to handling, can be gentle, but also sometimes can get a bit too careless. Oh but he teases alot, alooot. Would get u snacks, but never try bonk..... u'll explode 😓😓

Solider

Before even getting found out by him, you had to have a tiny american flag in ur bag whenever you went out. If you didnt, this guy wouldnt adopt you as THE AMERICAN BORROWER YOU ARE!!! And since, say, you did.......... best dad ever. 10/10. Well i mean,, accidents happen quite some timesss.. (racoons.. or his idiocy) He keeps an eye on ya tho, 24/7. Also, youre probably his only voice of good sense that could shush him down whenever he gets a bit dum dum, thats appreciated by everyone.

Pyro

Dress ups, tea parties and some arson on the side since he provides u matches. At first he was way too curious about you to be gentle, but over time he learnt to be carefull. Likes touchin u, prodding and tapping and stuff. Keeps him aware ur real and not am image in his head. He would definitely make crafts for u, like just minature sized objects or something like that. Would get really attached, so, you get scary dog privilege :3

Demoman

Wee lil' friend you are hes rather fond of. Hes caring and protective all the time. When he gets sloshed, he just becomes grabby, clingy nd loud. At times, just cuz hes used to do so, tries to get you to drink sum with him (if you're an adult ofc). This guy stuffs pepole up with granades on a daily, but would never hurt someone smaller than himself. Sometimes u gotta remind him to be quieter, but tbh, if youre living next to an everyday battlefield, your ears should be well used to it by now.

Heavy

A presence he doesn't rrly mind. When hes not in battle hes a quiet man, just going through his day, so having a tiny bud on the shoulder is no issue. He'd be pretty scared of handling said bud tho, ees hard to be careful when being beeg man. But you can always just stay in the pocket or as i said already, shoulder. Guaranteed food around him too. Heavy does not mind sharing sandvich with leetle leetle friend.

Engineer

Workshop assistant :D Every borrower must know how to make tools, atleast the basics, and i feel like he'd be amused by these but in a positive way. He would definitely make tiny functioning thingys for ya. And now if we dont care about the amount of noise, a small wrangler to you and you can shoot with his sentry meanwhile hes occupied with something else on the battlefield. Super fun and caring guy, one of the few that know what personal space means tbh.

Sniper

Rather antisocial typa guy, so if you're around him then its either just sitting in silence or a small talk about either his job or whatever you have to offer. I also dont feel like he'd be overly touchy in any situation. He sometimes can offer you resting somewhere on him; hat, shoulder, pocket, whatever you like. But thats for whenever he's not sniping. He'd rather not get startled by a move and miss the shot.

Medic

It all.. ALL depends on how he found you, what mood he had and overall what was his first thought he had about you. And if it was all somewhat positive, then another assistant you are. He could get a full review of how it is when inside of a human body from u!!!! fun ain't it? :D He wouldnt really go out his way to be careful, at first at least. Later on he might give some respect, if you prove yourself to be productive and entertaining that is. Archimedes would definitely be interested in you, taking you as their own.

Spy

He wouldnt be too invested in you, maybe sometimes taking you on the battlefield as a extra set of eyes or something. Also it would be a pain to even spend time with him since his smoke room would be a literal gas chamber. But maybe he'd let you just ride along in some pocket, as long as you kept it clean, and just.. do spy duties idk. Maybe if he got you some of your own mini gadgets then mini spy???? hhhmmmm??? im outta ideas for him idk

hon hon france

uuhhh... yea (this took me like 2 weeks my god)

[mingot-studios]

Hazbin Fortress - Demon forms

Scout - Rabbit

Soldier - Racoon with useless eagle wings

Pyro - Gas mask-headed flame

Engineer - Robot

Heavy - Bear

Demo - One-eyed sea monster

Medic - Plague doctor dove

Sniper - Kangaroo

Spy - Crab

[tf2heritageposts]

this is my formal request for you to tell us about the furbies. i need to hear this.

on it

THE TEAM'S OPINIONS ON FURBIES

scout: thinks they're scary as shit and doesn't want to be around them(hi jeremy) soldier: has no idea they aren't actually alive and has like three racoon furbies he keeps with his raccoons. he orders them around as if they were alive and gets mad when they don't do what he asks. they are covered in bite marks

pyro: ultimate furby collector. they have every color of the original 1998 and furby babies, as well as a few of the other models. if you need a specific furby, pyro has four of them. they somehow have five HI-C furbies and three kid cuisines. it's theorized they black mailed people for them

demoman: he has a long furby he made with engineer that's the skunk model with custom eyes. he absolutly loves the thing and wears it everywhere(mostly arouund scout to piss him off)

engineer: he LOVES modding furbies, and he and pyro have a symbiotic relationship where he repairs any of pyro's furbies and also mods them anyway they want. he made a long furby for demoman, and has one for himself too(it's a color change one he got from pyro)

he does so much shit to these guys it's awesome

heavy: he has one that he shares with medic, it's just a simple tuxedo medic has considered trying to put some organs in it and actually make it an animal(who'd probably wanna die) but heavy has said no. he likes the little guy but he usually takes the batteries out when he's too noisy and just reads with him.

medic: as previously stated, he and heavy share a furby and he wants to so bad make it real with fucked up mad science or whatever, but heavy just says NYET each time. he has, however, gotten one from pyro and is in the process of making a horror

sniper: he has an alligator one and he always has the batteries out. he usually chills with it or takes it on hunts. he sometimes pretend feeds it the food he hunts and cooks

spy: "do you think i'd have a fucking kids toy? what kind of simpleton do you take me for?(he has the bejewelled furby)

[team-headcanons-2]

Silly blu/red difference hcs. part 1, might continue later, this is very long

Sniper: -both have glow in the dark eyes due to austrailium exposure growing up

BLU -is a clone of red sniper -trying to build an identity outside of being a mercenary and being a clone -owns a camper van and lives in it -likes nature a lot and has a little journal cataloguing it -burn scars on the right shoulder and scar on the left cheek from meet the pyro and meet the spy

RED -og guy, sends money to parents etc etc -very like the meet the sniper video -lives in the base, owns a camper van but only uses it for travel -likes nature in a casual way, prefers to camp with their van -Y dissection scar from medic experiments. can turn his head 180 like an owl due medic once again Spy: -both are fancy fucks and went to the same spy school

BLU -slightly worse than red spy on the field, but more intiuitve than red. picks out the most important enemy merc at the right time, knows a spy when he sees one -great distraction spy. really great at catching attention when he wants to -NOT blue scouts dad, but will be, simply dating his mother and is looking out for scout on the field. -was infact the Spy in Medic's fridge, -more dramatic in action than red. is his weakness

RED -better spy on the field. those chain stabbing spies. can stop a push with the right timing. great at knowing what and where his team's progress is to do his own things. -great at disguising and acting. ambassador user. -is blue scouts dad. absent father. unaware he is a dad. really misses that boston woman -rather similar to expiration date spy -more attached to his items more than he realizes. is his weakness

Soldier: -both were originally one Jane Doe. used to be roomates with Merasmus before being cursed to be split into two, each half is like a wisdom vs intelligence thing. differentiates each other due to that. -has slight "mind-sharing" pseudo-telepathy with each other. treats each other as brothers/rivals -both are actually surprisingly smart. but only sometimes in rather specific situations though, never bothered sharing knowledge they both know

BLU -Jane W. Doe -wisdom half -takes care of the raccoons, unaware he also became a were-racoon, he is unaware of being one due to following a strict sleeping routine like any good American soldier would, so he sleeps trough the transformation. -magic adept, knows to cast a few spells -knows a lot of techniques and war tactics. great at identifying enemy strategies and countering them

RED -Jane I. Doe -intelligence half -Part bread monster due to teleporter incidents. bite is really strong and can eat whole bird with no problem. medic has banned everyone from bringing bread on the battle field because of this -magic adept, knows his way around magical contracts -knows a lot of history and war facts. great at identifying enemy weapons and what they do and how to counter them

Ooooooo

[39472034658449305249465224devils]

hai big bro

Assuming this is for the ask game,

Thief, maybe. I think im just getting that from "Racoon fursona" but I also think it could fit your personality. Despite what it could sound like on the surface, quite a few FE thiefs tend to be soft hearted and have a short of quirky sillyness to them. The GBA period or Awakening is where i feel like you'd be. Potentially Fate's "outlaw" version as well. Thieves tend to be young adults, teens and even children. They often appear as early game recuitables as an enemy or 'green unit.' In some titles, thieves have the ability to open chests and locked doors without keys.

Some thieves from this period includes Colm, Gaius, Chad and Matthew

Other picks

Pupil

when "little boy in fire emblem" comes to mind i usually think of classes like Pupil. It is exclusive to Sacred Stones, with it's single unit, Ewan. It is a "trainee type" class. (Meaning starts very low which allows potential for better stats than others later, you could say the inverse of a pre-promoted unit who doesnt have much left in terms of stats to grow. This can make the class have really high potential for being totally broken later on. espessially in sacred stones with the Summoner being up the Pupil's promotion tree.) I wish more of these ever existed, when i tried to rom hack more characters into the class it broke because it was built for him alone lol.

(Last pic should not be used as a canon reference image.)

(Hoshidian) Archer (+ class into -> Sniper), Fates. Bow units can tend to be characters who have a hard time facing things head on, either out of a strategic mind or an anxious character. You fit the personality of an bow unit as well as the literal playstyle of their usage, at least i see you as the type of person who is while close to friends, seeks continuing distance from strangers and in deep general day to say need of space and room to back out if the going gets tough, maybe a little more than the average person's approach. You're not purely just a linger support though, you're present socially and by no means just hide away. You just need the mindfulness of a quick retreat is all. (also i suppose the reasoning behind thief and a magic class. similar playstyle as archers due to low health pool.)

or 3H sniper? idk i feel like youd appreciate the little hat

[hopefulnightlady]

completely unhinged könig headcannons from a completely unhinged girlie🥰🥰

He wears the sniper hood because he has a whole ass family at home in the austrian mountainside. Married. Four kids. NONE of them know what he does. Half of the year he works at a tourist information spot, doped up on enough anti anxiety meds to kill a horse. The other half of the year he lets out all that anxiety fueled customer service rage on the battlefield. His family thinks he's in germany visiting family and working there as a math teacher or something.

Ducks through doorways which he would fit through, Always walks straight into ones he doesn't. Curses profusely

Has impeccable road rage, folded into his deteriorating Honda civic. Would die in that tin can to show someone whos boss on the streets.

The tiny village he lives in has no feral cats so instead he's feeding an actual army of racoons. They follow his orders. sometimes. Hes planning on a crow task force next

Sometimes when he is off the field, he needs to Feel Something, so he goes out and buys as many cans of soup as he can carry. He peels the labels off and picks 3-6 at random, mixing them together and eating the result. The Thrill keeps him going.

Has like one (1) friend, which he made while buying/eating his trash soup. They make it together sometimes.

Anyways i thinks thats all for now lemme know if you want the nsfw version i promise they are just as insane. Bye

[ask-redsoldier-tf2]

erm sir what’s a raccoon

Soldier: Similar to a fox, obviously! But, you can usually see them in trashcans and they're gray and black, not orange and black.

They're also a bit fatter and rounder.

[justcrayzstuffs]

MY TF2 Fanart!

Homka MLPxTF2 AU on my style!

lil' Archimedes doodle

Kiwi!Sniper (GIF)

Solly eating a hamburger

Pyro in da box!

Racoon!Solly Doodles

Chibi!Heavy?

Sniper on a Crop top

[fuzzydreamin]

OC's as Obscure References

Thanks for the tag @bokatan💖 No pressure tags: @raid3r-r4bbit @serknighted @ss-bullseye

Under the cut for length~

Name: Nora Diane Sosu

Animal: Poodle Colours: Blues and Browns Month: November Songs: Sanctuary - Shelby Merry Gravity of Love - Enigma Gravity - The Superjesus Number: 88 (atomic number of radium) Plants: Chrysanthemum, Marigold, Begonia, Roses Smells: Florals and Traces of Cigarettes Gemstone: Blue Sunstone Time of Day: Sunrise Season: Spring Places: A personal office filled with books and an overpacked desk, A lively living or dining room, A grassy hill as the sun rises or sets Drinks: Cold-brew Coffee, High End Alcohol, Fruity Cocktails Element: Water Astrological Sign: Scorpio Seasonings: Rosemary, Mint, Cardamom Sky: Sunlit golden clouds in a blue-orange hued sky Weather: Clear Weapons: Heavily Modded Sniper Rifle, Magnum Pistol, Serrated Knife Social Media: Discord Make-Up Product: Bright lipstick, for leaving marks on others Candy: Turkish Delight Method of Long Distance Travel: Boat or Vertibird Art Style: Art Nouveau Fear: Loss of Control (Herself, Situations, Finding herself responsible if others die, etc) Mythological Creature: Banshee Piece of Stationery: Fountain Pen Three Emojis: 🌟⚖️💋 Celestial Body: The Sun

Name: Alberta Jefferson

Animal: Racoon Colours: Greens and Black Month: July Songs: Lion - Hollywood Undead Cancer - My Chemical Romance The In-Between - In This Moment Number: 101 (vault) Plants: Acanthus, Cowslip, Rainflower, Fungus Smells: Leather and Machine Oil (Also very slight Ozone smell to ghouls) Gemstone: Apache Tears Time of Day: Twilight Season: Autumn Places: The great outdoors on a wide open road, A bar packed with friends, A lonely dark corridor or side room filled with old tech Drinks: Pure Water, Regular Nuka Cola, Cheap Beer Element: Air Astrological Sign: Cancer Seasonings: Ginger, Parsley, Saffron Sky: Cloudy and Green Before a Storm Weather: Stormy Weapons: A3-21's Plasma Rifle, Modded Baseball Bat, Various Explosives Social Media: Tumblr Make-Up Product: Eyeblack Candy: Gumdrops Method of Long Distance Travel: Walking or Driving a Run-down Van Art Style: Grafitti Fear: Feeling/Being Trapped Mythological Creature: Chimera Piece of Stationery: Scientific Calculator Three Emojis: ⚙️⚔️☢️ Celestial Body: Uranus

[ask-the-tf2-mercs]

I feel rly bad for Medic bc he can never have his real amount of fun :( he can't even have his darn blueberries I sent! I gave them to Medic for a reason, Sniper! You might be my fav but your an asshole 😤

Anyways, here ya go! *Dumps a giant pile of blueberries onto Medic* I stole one of Merasmus's spell books that involved magic food so those blueberries might be haunted or something, but it's more than enough for your eye experiments!

On a separate note, you should tell Merasmus to heighten his security because this book was surprisingly easy to get despite the feral racoons.

Sincerely, wind anon with a magic book with food spells now! 🌬️

Medic: [crawls out of the blueberry pile, looking at them before sighing] ..if I'm honest, I wasn't even upset by not getting the blueberries. I have to clean this up. But I don't want to, so.. [walks over to the window and leans his head out it to call out] SNIPER, there's more blueberries in here for you!!

Sniper: [shoves him aside and leaps through the window into the pile]

Medic: [dusts his hands off and walks away] That takes care of that!

Merasmus: [appears] MERASMUS DEMANDS TO KNOW WHO STOLE HIS BOOK-

Sniper: [hisses at him]

Merasmus: [blinks] ..Merasmus.. no longer wants his book back. [disappears back home]

[ao3feed-tf2ships]

Doom Mates: Enemies to Hate Fuckers!

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/51269455

by TheoForman

Soldier learned through experience and watching a few of his friends at RED that ‘hate fucking’ is a thing, but the problem is, no one on his team would ever, ever, be willing to ‘hate fuck’ him because they all love him so much. So, what’s a guy to do when he figures out that’s something he thinks he needs?

Fill a man’s domicile with hidden sour cream, set their washing machine on fire, bury their taped up fridge, and burn their body when they are screaming at you and your racoon sanctuary that used to be the home you two lived in together. Of course.

But then what’s a man to do? Well, seduction is in order. But it’s a tall order…IN DOOM MATES: ENEMIES TO HATE FUCKERS

Words: 22521, Chapters: 2/2, Language: English

Series: Part 6 of All is Fair in Love, Sex, and War!

Fandoms: Team Fortress 2

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M, Multi

Characters: Merasmus (Team Fortress 2), Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Engineer (Team Fortress 2), Scout (Team Fortress 2), Sniper (Team Fortress 2)

Relationships: Merasmus/Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Merasmus/RED Soldier (Team Fortress 2), RED Sniper/RED Soldier, BLU Engineer/RED Engineer/RED Soldier (Team Fortress 2), BLU Scout/RED Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Sniper/Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Scout/Soldier (Team Fortress 2)

Additional Tags: Hate fucking, Knife Play, Dirty Talk, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Spanking, Rough Sex, Tentacles, magical sex, Forced Servitude, willing servitude, phermones, aphrodisiac, Light Dom/sub, Light Bondage, new relationship dynamics being established, focuses almost entirely on Merasmus/Soldier, but the others are present in a few scenes, somewhat slow burn for the hate fucking

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/51269455