#a proper to-be-taken-seriously age right there

[langernameohnebedeutung]

I can officially say I'm 30 today!

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well😊

I’ve been stalking your blog for a while and I love how you write the dc boys and was wondering if I could request a head cannon or small blurb?

So, one of my guy friends has a list of things written in his iPhone about his girlfriend, like her favorite food, flower, color, possible gift ideas, any and all anniversaries, etc. just a long list of everything he can think of pertaining to her. It got me thinking about Jason/Tim/Dick having something similar on their phone for their SO. Maybe the reader finds it one day while scrolling through their phone and they just 🥺❤️❤️ while their boy get flustered lol

Dick

Dick had a list on his phone specially made for you and while to some it would seem like what he had listed were mundane or not all that interesting, but that couldn’t be less then the truth to him as everything pertaining to you was worth jotting down and remembering.

From the way you liked your tea/coffee, your comfort movie and or tv show, right down to the way you always wanted to go on a date to a proper aquarium one day, all of this and so much more was taken into account as Dick often used this knowledge for brainstorming your next date night.

He takes it extremely seriously as he wanted everything to be worthwhile for you and also the fact that he’d get to see you smile as brightly as you did, it was his Achilles heel and Dick wasn’t ashamed to admit it.

So one day when he was writing down ideas on where to where to take you for your next date, you were just so happened to be in the room to take notice how on he left his phone open as he went into another room for one reason or another, and got curious as to what he had been so concentrated on; and what you found was enough to melt your heart.

In an extremely long list was filled to the brim with things about you that dick loved/took notice of and adored that even you yourself didn’t notice doing half of these things. It was like as though Dick saw more to you than you ever did and it made you feel…well loved.

‘Aww Dick. Is this list all about me?’ You asked as you read further down the list as Dick burrowed his face into your neck as he held you from behind after seeing you read the list on his phone.

‘It’s not like I can deny it now can I darling,’ he said, tightening his hold on you as he felt his cheeks fluster slightly, he’s not use to someone reading his innermost thoughts and feelings and now that someone has he’s not use to the feeling he was currently experiencing.

‘There’s even stuff in here that I’ve told you ages ago.’ You exclaimed, looking over at him with adoration. ‘You’re amazing you know that.’ You praised him, kissing his forehead softly.

‘So I’ve been told but it means a hell of a lot more when you’re the one praising me.’ Dick chuckled as he kissed your neck, keeping you close as the list on his became long forgotten as you continued to smother your dickie bird in affection.

Jason

Jason’s list about was seemingly never ending with how often he was adding onto it with things that you did or have started doing just recently that he couldn’t get enough of.

He had things such as how you’d snuggle up in bed in one of his hoodies, cuddling the pillow on his side of the bed close to your chest whenever you were missing him and stuff like how you latch yourself onto him from behind and chomping down on his shoulders and biceps when you wanted some attention from him.

Anything and everything you did that made his heart melt into a puddle was there and as mentioned beforehand it was growing on a daily basis.

So when you came across this list of his, you couldn’t help but feel as though you were seeing yourself through his own eyes for the first time, and seeing just how serious he was about you from his long and detailed list on just about everything you’ve ever done before and during your relationship.

There were even parts where he would go on about how cute you were during certain moments and how he’d take you to special places for dates when given enough time, and being amazed at how he’d remembered something you had brought up in passing several months ago.

Jason had taken every single detail about you and show just how much he loved them by keeping a list of them on his phone so that he doesn’t ever forget. Perks of being a hopeless romantic who’s read every Jane Austen book in existence. You had consumed his mind, body and soul and this listen only proved it as you delved in just how much you seemingly were on your pretty boy’s mind, much to his embarrassment.

‘Sweetheart.’ He droned from behind you. ‘You weren’t learnt to see that.’

‘Why not?’ You asked, holding his phone close to your chest, pouting, wanting to read more of his list about you and your many, many, many attributes that he adored like no other.

‘It was meant to be kept a secret so that I could surprise you on our next date.’ Jason told you with flustered cheeks at the fact that you now knew just how deeply he thought of you.

You only smiled at him as you peppered his face in kisses. ‘You’re such a hopeless romantic.’ You teased. ‘I love it.’

‘Only for you sweetheart, only for you.’ Jason murmured as he leaned in for more face kisses.

Tim

‘You shouldn’t be reading that.’ Tim would say when he found you reading the embarrassingly long list that he had specifically made for you and everything he’s known about you since you started dating. Tim was smart to take safety procedures in most things, but he seemingly forgot that you could easily access his phone that he had left open by accident.

‘Why not, are you embarrassed?’ You asked, smiling at how hellbent your boyfriend was on getting you to stop read in the list that he himself had made.

‘No, it’s just-‘

‘I’m only teasing sweet Tim, I think it’s really sweet that you made a list all about me.’ You interpret him as you reached out to hold his hand, squeezing it reassuringly when you felt his nervousness, kissing the back of it for good measure.

‘You really are a pain.’ Tim groaned as he plopped himself down next to you, still not over the fact that he was left his phone open for anyone to read just how badly your hold over him was, he thanked god that it was you who came across it rather then his siblings. Tim would never be able to live it down if someone like Damian or Jason or god forbid Dick had found his big little list about his perfect partner.

It had everything from your comfort foods, to that childhood plush that you held tremendous sentimental value towards, and things that you’ve mentioned once or twice that didn’t seem like much but were more then worth writing down and kept for future reference.

He couldn’t help it, there was so much about you that was worth writing down as you meant a lot to Tim and he found often found himself coming up with complex ideas for something as simple as your future date nights. Most were mainly date nights spend at home but neither of you were complaining if it meant spending quality time together, regardless of where that might end up being.

‘Well that’s odd because if I was then you wouldn’t have made the equivalent to an Google docs on me.’ You cheekily said, bumping your shoulder with his as he groaned, covering his face with his hands but the tips of his ears were beet red. God he was cute when he wasn’t being sarcastic and a smart ass. ‘I hate you.’ He said, voice muffled by his hands.

You smiled as you kissed the hands covering his face before leaning your head against his shoulder. ‘I love you too Tim Drake, more than anything.’

[bethanydelleman]

do you have any theories on why wickham turned out the way he did? his background sounds humble but not dirt poor as i know steward was a really valued job at the time. and as the elder mr. darcy liked him, he probably had a better life than plenty of boys. correct me if i'm wrong but i don't recall any mention of a mom or siblings, so darcy was probably his main childhood companion. it's just horrible to think that over the years he went from seeing darcy as a friend to someone he could ruin. and he was prepared to ruin georgiana's life, not just take all her money but cause a scandal so she might not ever get married again. and if darcy hadn't found lydia he'd probably just leave her where she was with no way of getting home and destroyed the bennets. like why? everyone was nothing but nice to him his whole life and all he does is hurt them and enjoy doing it. when you think about it kind of sounds evil.

From what I understand, Wickham was a failure of a system whereby a rich person would choose someone poorer to patronize. We can see other examples of this in Emma (Jane Fairfax & Harriet Smith) and especially Mansfield Park (Fanny & William Price).

The idea was that the rich would find someone worthy of improvement, sponsor their education, and give them the ability to raise into the gentry class. This sounds like what Mr. Darcy Sr. tried with Wickham, but in this case it was a failure. What ended up happening isn't that Wickham was grateful, but he ended up feeling entitled to the life of a Darcy. The novel's implication is that Wickham had a bad character, which education could not improve, and that Mr. Darcy Sr. was deceived in because Wickham had a veneer of decency.

From Darcy's Letter:

Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates, and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge; most important assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman’s education. My father was not only fond of this young man’s society, whose manners were always engaging, he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities, the want of principle, which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which Mr. Darcy could not have.

Wickham's account:

“We were born in the same parish, within the same park; the greatest part of our youth was passed together: inmates of the same house, sharing the same amusements, objects of the same parental care."

In Mansfield Park, Sir Thomas talks about how difficult it will be to maintain the distinction between his daughters and Fanny, their adopted niece, and when I think about how Wickham turned out, I think this is meant to be taken seriously (even though Sir Thomas and Mrs. Norris screwed up massively):

“There will be some difficulty in our way, Mrs. Norris,” observed Sir Thomas, “as to the distinction proper to be made between the girls as they grow up: how to preserve in the minds of my daughters the consciousness of what they are, without making them think too lowly of their cousin; and how, without depressing her spirits too far, to make her remember that she is not a Miss Bertram. I should wish to see them very good friends, and would, on no account, authorise in my girls the smallest degree of arrogance towards their relation; but still they cannot be equals. Their rank, fortune, rights, and expectations will always be different. It is a point of great delicacy, and you must assist us in our endeavours to choose exactly the right line of conduct.”

Fanny feels grateful for what the Bertrams give her, even though it's scraps of a real education. Wickham ends up feeling entitled, even though he is "liberally bestowed" and that may have been the problem. He was treated too similarly to Darcy and felt that he was a Darcy, only to find out the patronage didn't go as far as he wanted.

Wickham comes off to me as one of those people who is ALWAYS innocent in his own mind, someone else is always the cause of his misfortunes (he's like Willoughby in that respect). So when he tells Elizabeth about how he lost his inheritance, I think he believes what he is saying. He does think Darcy cheated him somehow even though he was in the wrong. Darcy becomes the tyrant because Wickham refuses to be the villain of his own story.

In addition, I don't know if he would have seen Darcy as a friend. Darcy is one of the few people who can see through Wickham and a con man would hate that. Wickham's dislike of Darcy may well have started because he hates that Darcy can perceive and judge the real him.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Champion of the World **^

Part 2 of Music Producer! Harry blurb as requested in the notes by @totodiamond :) I just did a proper one shot for it.

Warnings: Oral (f receiving), fingering, sex, mentions of death and loss, cheating.

WC: 9k

LAST WARNING... If you haven't read the BLURB first you can do so here.

The reception of Y/N’s band’s new album was expected to be pretty promising. Granted, their music wasn’t “mainstream”, but Harry had insisted that they have 2 singles on the album to get them more on the radar and well, it had worked. Their second single had a more indie-pop feel and swept the nation thanks to a TikTok posted by their label. Because of it’s popularity it really helped hype up the anticipation for their album release and it was projected to do really well. They were also projecting that the second single would be the “song of the summer”. And well, they would start to tour in August so they would be busy from August until next May. 

The topic of tour seemed to be the most frequently asked question as she navigated through the room at the album’s launch party. This was their first headlining tour, they had opened on a few tours for several shows with their EP and first album, but this was the big one. Their self-titled album. Because this is how they made a name for themselves. It was a lot to take in and the more people asked the more overwhelmed Y/N felt. There were people everywhere and she was slowly starting to get anxious and she just needed a little break so she headed outside to catch some fresh air. When she got out there someone was smoking off to the side and the scent just called to her. She hadn’t smoked in years, but she was feeling nostalgic, so she went up to him and bummed a cigarette off of him before the man headed inside. She had just taken her first drag and it felt so familiar that she smiled to herself.

“Seriously?” She heard and immediately recognized the voice and turned to her right to see Harry walking over to her with a disbelieving smirk on his face. She was partially hidden behind a giant palm planter for this very reason, she didn’t want a scolding from anyone about her smoking. She knew cigarettes were gross and bad for you, but she was feeling nostalgic when the scent reached her nose and she gave in just this once.

“I know, I know…but I haven’t smoked in maybe 4 years, it’s just this once. Don’t narc me out to Richard.” She said to Harry of their manager as he stopped before her, still smirking.

“Gimme that.” He said extending his hand to her and she frowned.

“Fine. Just one more though.” She said to him and he laughed softly.

“Relax, I’m not gonna put it out. Nor will I narc you out.” He said to her lowly and she smiled at him as she passed it on over, “D’you mind?” He asked as he raised it to his mouth and she shook her head.

“Go for it.” She assured and he proceeded to put the filter between his lips and inhaled for a few seconds before letting the smoke flow out from between his slightly parted lips as he exhaled.

“Wow, I haven’t smoked in ages either.” He said to her with a smile, “It’s as awful and comforting as I remember.” He added and she chuckled.

“Yeah…” she agreed.

“I promised myself I’d never do that again…thanks.” He joked and she shrugged.

“I’m sorry for tempting you. I’ve heard that I tend to bring out the worst in people…” she apologized with a half smile on her face.

“No you don’t.” He shook his head, “You bring out the wild side in people, but it’s only because you’re so effortlessly cool and yourself. Like people want to impress you. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.” He said and she smiled.

“Is that what this was? You trying to impress me?” She teased him.

“No, I have some dignity.” He countered with a grin and she laughed loudly as he chuckled, “Nah, I saw you walk out in a bit of a rush and just wanted to make sure you were alright.” He explained, “So are you alright?”

“Yeah, it just got a little overstimulating in there. Too many lights and voices and questioned and smells…it was a lot.” She said and he hummed as he took another drag before handing the cigarette back and she immediately took a drag.

“Oh, the shitty parts of acquiring fame…”

“Yeah.” She giggled as the smoke billowed out of her mouth. He started at her lips for a few seconds as she glanced off somewhere else. Her lips were slightly swollen and looked so smooth and juicy from whatever product she had on them. He’d been dying to kiss her for months, but he didn’t want to start anything with her while they were actively involved in a professional relationship. 

“Are you excited for the tour?” He asked after a few beats of silence. And she wasn’t annoyed when he asked about it, but maybe it’s because it was him.

“Yeah, we already start rehearsals next week! I think we need to re-work the setlist though…but we’ll see once we run the full show through.”

“Are you guys rehearsing here?”

“Yeah, we’ll stay in LA.” She confirmed, “What’s next for you?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve got a couple offers on the table for different gigs, just not sure what to choose.” He confessed and she hummed.

“Well which one has you most excited?” She asked and he bit his lip pensively.

“Ummm…I’ve been approached to compose for an indie film…” he said and she gasped in surprise.

“Oh? That’s so cool, Harry!”

“Yeah.” He smiled, “I haven’t really done any original compositions since…maybe grad school?” He said with a questioning expression, “So it’s not out of my skillset, but I’m definitely out of my depth and out of practice. I’m sure I’m rusty, but it’s something different than what I’ve been doing the last few years, you know? So it seems the most exciting and challenging.”

“Yeah. That’s really sick. What’s the storyline? If I can ask.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, ummm, it’s one of those dystopian love stories…so like the world’s gonna end in a few weeks and we’re all gonna die and it’s about like making peace with yourself and living in the moment, finding the beauty in the tragedy…that kind of thing. I really liked the script, it’s so realistic and well written. I’ve even considered going for one of the lead roles.” He said to her and she smiled.

“Oh? Acting too?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled timidly.

“Well aren’t you multitalented!” She smiled as he smiled bashfully, “Well, it sounds really cool, definitely sounds like something I’d watch. If only to hear your compositions.” She said and he smiled.

“Hey, if I say yes maybe you can sing on a track.” He suggested and she smiled.

“Yeah, I’d be down.” She assured as she flicked the ash off of her cigarette before taking another drag and exhaling, “Do you want another?”

“Yeah, last one.” He said and she chuckled as she passed it over to him. Once he took his drag he held it out to her.

“I’m good. You can kill it or…kill it.” She said and he smiled as he stepped over to the little ashtray over the garbage bin and extinguished what was left of the cigarette before stepping back over to her.

“So, should I keep myself open for your next album or has the illusion of having me produce your albums died?” He asked with a grin and Y/N laughed aloud at his question before biting down on her lip to suppress a smile.

“Ummm, I’d say keep yourself open…I think I need to give you a fair shot.”

“Oh… OK.” He smiled contently, “Good. I’ve got some really great ideas for some of the songs we cut from this album that can help kind of establish your sound for the next one.” He said.

“Geez…already? Everything moves so fast here.”

“You’re definitely not in Kansas anymore…” he smiled at her and she rolled her eyes playfully, “Don’t roll your eyes, you know you want to laugh.” He said to her and she finally did but shook her head.

“I’m not even from Kansas! I just went to school there!”

“Yeah, but the rest of your band is, and it was formed there, so whether you like it or not, you’re now from Kansas - well according to Wikipedia you are - so the joke works.” He said smugly.

“You wikipedia-ed me?”

“Well, I wiki-ed the band before I agreed to work with you guys. You’ve seriously never googled anything about me?” He asked her incredulously.

“Eh, kind of…I mean, I googled narcissistic personality disorder, to see if you met the criteria for it…” she said and he laughed loudly and she smirked, “When I realized that I was reaching, I googled your birthday and discovered you’re an Aquarius, and well…that explained a lot. Like how you’re so great at your job but also a control freak and kind of a dick.” She teased and he shook his head.

“I see how it is…” he hummed in mock offense and she reached out for his arm, her hand rested against his bicep.

“I don’t think that of you anymore, just to clarify. It was before when I was still mad at you. I’m sorry. You’re perfectly normal according to the DSM-5.” She assured giving him a small, reassuring squeeze and he grinned.

“Yeah, thank you for stating the obvious.” He chuckled as her hand started to slip away from him and he grabbed it in his, which made her look up into his eyes. Her heart rate starting speeding up as her eyes met his own before he glanced down at her hand, “This is nice.” He said to her as his thumb grazed over the sunburst ring on her middle finger. She looked down as well and felt her tummy flutter at his innocent, but very intimate gesture.

“Thank you. My sister gave it to me.” She replied, her hand still in his. He hadn’t made a move to let go and she hadn’t made a move to pull her hand away from his either, so their eyes met again as their hands came down, still connected by their middle fingers being hooked together. The tension and electricity buzzing between them was extremely obvious.

“It’s gonna be weird not seeing you guys every day.” He said to her and she smiled.

“Yeah…everyone’ll miss you, if that’s any consolation.” She said with a small smile and he smiled down at the ground and asked his question before he could talk himself out of it.

“What about you? Are you gonna miss me too?” He inquired before looking back into her eyes and she smiled bashfully.

“Gee, I don’t know…what do you think?” She asked playfully and he chuckled.

“I mean can you blame me for asking? Your messages and feelings towards me are kind of hard to read.” He said and she hummed as she bit her lip pensively and then glanced up to his eyes before placing her hands on chest and tiptoeing to graze her lips over his. Her eyes flickered up to his.

“Does this clear things up for you?” She asked with a soft smile and he smirked.

“Ummm, it’s still a little murky.” He teased.

“Oh yeah?” she responded quietly and he hummed teasingly, “Let me make it clearer then.” She whispered before pressing her lips to his. His hands immediately found their place at her waist as hers slithered up to loop around his neck. Their soft and playful kisses soon turned into languid and hungrier kisses as the seconds passed them by in their dark little hiding place.

Harry now had Y/N up against the wall with one hand around the back of her neck and the other against the wall as he sank his teeth into her bottom lip before sliding his tongue in against her own. Her beautiful, breathy moan made his ears perk up and ring. It was such a beautiful and sensual sound, he wanted to put it on a track; layer it in somewhere and commemorate it as the beautiful and artistic sound it was. Her index fingers were hooked into his trouser’s belt loops, keeping him as physically close as she could. She wanted to disappear into the night with him and see where they ended up. The tension between them had been building for months and well, they hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks after they finished production on the album, so she assumed that the tension would dissipate with time. But she was discovering that hadn’t affected her longing for him, not even a little bit. 

“Do you wanna get out of here?” He asked her quietly, and admittedly with a smidge of uncertainty, as his nose skimmed down the length of hers in a delicate and playful gesture.

“Yeah.” She whispered and nodded her head in a double confirmation to him that she wanted to be alone with him.

“Alright.” He smiled against her mouth and she smiled as well before he grabbed her hand and pulled her around the building towards where he parked. He was given a spot right out back instead of having to valet, which would be a waste of precious time with her. So they hurried around to the back and they got inside and took off. He was in his classic, white Mercedes with the top down, so when they were leaving, they were inevitably papped. And as much as she tried to keep her head down to avoid being recognized as the woman in his car any comparison in outfit would easily prove that she had in fact left her own launch party with Harry, her producer.

“God, they’re everywhere!” Y/N griped as they finally got on the main street and were stopped at the traffic light.

“And there’s more.” He said to her as he cocked his head to the people who had followed them on the sidewalk up to the light and were snapping pictures of them in the car.

“Jesus.” She huffed.

“Wait, where’s your stuff?”

“Oh I didn’t bring anything with me, just myself.”

“Not even your wallet or phone?”

“No, I mean, food and drink were provided and every person that I would be texting was there tonight.”

“Richard forbid you from bringing your phone, didn’t he?” Harry asked with a smirk and she sighed.

“OK, yes, he did…he said something about me sulking in the corner all the time or whatever.”

“You do look very unapproachable when you’re on your phone. You’ve got this like…broody, angry face going on.” He said trying to mimic it and she laughed loudly before they took off as the light turned green.

“That’s not my angry face, if anyone should be familiar with my angry face it’s you.” She reminded and he chuckled, “S’my concentration face. Like sometimes I get ideas and I start writing them in my notes or other times I’m reading a book or an article and it’s like so loud that it takes extra willingness to concentrate.” She explained and he smiled at her.

“Well maybe don’t read at parties.” He suggested and she glanced at him incredulously.

“If I don’t read at parties how will I maintain my reputation as mysterious and elusive, Harry?” She asked jokingly and he grinned.

“You’re so annoying.” He muttered as she giggled beside him.

“So where are we going?” She finally asked and he turned to her.

“Ummm, wherever you want to go.” He shrugged and she hummed pensively.

“Take me to…a place that means a lot to you.” She said and he chuckled.

“Here?!” He asked and she nodded, “God...this is my home, tons of places mean a lot to me.” He chuckled as he thought about it, “OK, I’ve got it. Hang on!” He warned with a big smile as he sped up and just made it onto the 405-S ramp. 

Y/N’s hair was whipping back with the wind as they sped down the freeway. He was blasting Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac which made her feel like she was the main character because before he played it he said it was dedicated to her elusiveness and mysteriousness, which she appreciated. Soon he was signaling to get off on La Cienega and as they continued driving down the street she saw the giant Randy’s Donut donut and she gasped.

“You know, I’ve  never actually been here before! Is this where we’re going?” She asked happily and he chuckled.

“It’s not, but we can stop if you want?”

“It’s alright.”

“You sounded so excited, like you wanted to stop. So I’m gonna stop.” He said as he started to slow down as they approached the entrance and she smiled at him.

“Well, if you insist…” she hummed and he chuckled. They found a spot to park and walked over to the window. It was 10pm but there were still a few people in line waiting to be served.  “What do you get?” She asked him.

“Usually the maple raised, wheat and honey cake, or the red velvet one if I’m feeling particularly fancy.” He said to her and she smiled.

“That does sound good…” she said as she peeked around a few people to get a better look at the menu displayed on a big screen inside. “They have a fruity pebbles one.” She gasped.

“Such a child.” He joked.

“I didn’t say I was going to get it. Fruity pebbles are just super nostalgic and they smell amazing.” She defended.

“That’s true, they do smell divine…”

“Oh, they have blueberry…that’s it. That’s the one I want.”

“OK.” He chuckled. 

As they stood in line Harry couldn’t help but notice that a few guys in the other line were ogling her a bit too much for his liking. They were obviously young since they were being obnoxious and loud, trying to get her to turn around, but she didn’t seem to be taking the bait. He leaned in closer to her and grabbed her hand, which caught her by surprise and she glanced up to him and he smiled down at her. 

“Is this OK?” He asked her lowly and she nodded as she scooted a little closer to him as a light breeze blew over them and made her shiver. She was in a thin little party dress and her platform boots and the night was only getting colder, they were due for more rain over the weekend. He wasn’t even wearing a jacket he could offer her so he just pulled her in front of him and hugged around her waist. He couldn’t help but smile as her hands came up to his and she slotted her fingers in between his. She smiled as his warmth pressed into her back  and she just leaned her weight back on him. He leaned down a bit to reach her ear before he spoke, “That’s what I mean when I said people are always trying to impress you.” He said quietly and her body shook with a giggle.

“How is being obnoxious impressive?”

“I literally have no idea.” He chuckled as they moved up in the line.

“Hi, I’m so sorry to interrupt.” They heard from beside them and turned to see a younger girl and her friend standing a few feet away, “We really like your album.” One of the girls said with a nervous smile.

“Oh! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.” Y/N smiled happily, but she kept her voice down as Harry let her go so she could talk to the girls who started gushing about how pretty she looked. Which they were right, she looked beautiful. 

Well, to Harry she always did, but she did just a little bit more when she had events and things to do. Often times he felt that when people did themselves up for events they went so overboard that they barely even looked like themselves, but not Y/N. She had mastered this effortless look that proved that a little goes a long way; she was almost ethereal. He liked that she didn’t care to hire a glam team to turn her into another Hollywood starlet clone; she and the rest of the band did most of their looks themselves. He recalls that at the BRITS earlier in the year she was crammed between him and Kassie, smearing some eyeshadow onto her eyelids and getting on her mascara just minutes before they would have to walk the carpet. Witnessing that made him like her even more. That was what drew him to them in the first place, their authenticity, and well if anyone was a champion of unapologetically being your authentic self it was her. She made everyone feel good about exactly who they were and he loved that about her.

“Harry, would you mind taking a picture for us?” She asked him and he shook his head.

“Course not.” He smiled as one of the girls handed over her phone to him. He took several and then handed it back.

“Can we get one with both of you too? You’re like a total icon.” The girl said to Harry and he shook his head bashfully.

“Hardly.” He said to her humbly as Y/N asked the person ahead of them to take their picture. After they got a few pictures the girls said their goodbyes and got back into the line. As soon as she and Harry stepped up he boxed her in between his body and the counter. “Hi, can I get a blueberry cake, red velvet cake, and a…large? Crewneck?” He said to the woman at the window and she nodded.

“What color for the crewneck? We have gray and navy blue.” She said.

“What color?” He asked Y/N softly and she glanced between him and the cashier.

“Oh! For me?”

“Yeah, you’re shivering and I don’t have anything in my car.” He said to her and she smiled at him.

“Ummm, I’ll get the gray one.” She said to the woman who nodded and then gave them the total before rushing off to grab their stuff. “I’m paying you back.”

“Absolutely not. This is your first time here, so think of it as a commemoration gift.” He said to her and she shook her head. “And if you ever try to pay me back I will return it to you in pennies.” He said and she laughed as she shook her head.

“You’re something else.”

“I know, love. I know.” He hummed.

“Here you are!” The woman said as she returned with the sweater and a baggy with their donuts.

“Thank you!” He and Y/N said simultaneously before walking off to the side. “Gimme these.” Harry said grabbing the donuts from Y/N and he gripped the bag between his teeth as he helped pull the crewneck over her head as she got her arms into the sleeves. Yes, it was oversized on her, but crewnecks were meant to be baggy, they just were. It was a bit long as well, it was a bit shorter on her than the dress she was wearing and it made him wonder what she’d look like in his own clothes. He liked wearing oversized things just as much as everyone else, so he’d imagine that she’d look absolutely swallowed and adorable in his hoodies. They walked back to his car hand in hand before they each had to get into their own sides and as they sat down she turned to him.

“I have to tell you something.” She said and he looked a little bit concerned but nodded, indicating for her to go on. “I really, really love that you don’t open the car door for me.” He looked at her with narrowed eyes, “I swear I’m not being a smart ass or sarcastic. Like when guys do that it just…bothers me because like…. I have functioning arms, you know? Like I can do that myself, I don’t need help! And it’s not like one of those general polite things, like holding the door open for someone who’s behind you! Like that makes sense, because it’s more than one person coming through the door! But in the car only one person can get into the passenger side so why does someone else even think to touch my door?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I can see you’re very passionate about this.” He grinned and she sighed and nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I am…for some weird reason. It’s just relieving and it just might be by favorite thing about you.” She decided and he grinned.

“Seriously? My unwillingness to participate in benevolent sexism is your favorite thing about me?” He asked for clarification and she smiled.

“Yes.” 

“It can’t be anything else?” He asked and she rolled her eyes up as she hummed pensively.

“Mmmm… no. That’s it.” She confirmed and he chuckled.

“I’ll check again at the end of the night if that’s your favorite thing about me.” He said smugly and she turned to him with a grin.

“What’s that supposed to mean? What are you insinuating?” She questioned and he smirked.

“You’ll see…” he hummed as he started the car and they took off. They only drove a few more minutes before Y/N saw the Sizzler’s on her left and then the Forum right up ahead. “Oh…interesting.” She said and he smiled at her.

“Yeah.” He said to her and she hummed, really anxious now to see why this particular place meant a lot to him. They kept driving straight and went around the back of the lot and he wheeled to a stop. It was desolate tonight, which was rare. He put the car in park and she turned to him and he smiled.

“So when I was 14 we came here on a family vacation. Like my parents and sister and aunt and uncle cousins…I’m the baby of the family by the way.” He disclosed and she smiled as he shared this, “So…my oldest cousin discovered that Coldplay had a show and he’d missed their show in England and he wanted to go. My sister was also a fan and I mean, I was too.”

“Yeah, it’s Coldplay!” Y/N said and he chuckled.

“Exactly! So my cousin convinced the adults to let us get tickets, they didn’t want to bring me along because I was the youngest, but I wanted to go. Anyway, saw Coldplay, my first concert ever.” He said and she smiled, “And afterwards we were waiting to get picked up, but my stepdad got lost and ended up going another way so we were just hanging out, right over there because it was well lit.” He pointed to where the trailers and trucks were usually set up, “My cousin and sister went up to see the merch and I just waited there, with my other cousin like they told me to.” He recalled, “And then out of nowhere a couple girls started panicking and Chris and Will walk on over to say hello.”

“No way!” Y/N giggled with surprise and he nodded.

“Yeah! And he was so kind to everyone. I didn’t have anything with me to get a photo or an autograph. But I was the only child there so he gravitated my way, asked where I was from and he was happy to hear that we were from England. And me being the brazen kid I was, I told him I also sang and wanted to start a band with my friends from school, like they did. And he told me that he was rooting for me, to believe in my music, and to never give up on my music. And…so I never did.” He finished his story and she was smiling so brightly. His story was so wholesome it made her eyes well up, that was so beautiful! What an experience to have with someone.

“That’s so amazing, Harry. Like so fucking cool!” She said with excitement and he hummed and nodded.

“I got really lucky that night.” He said softly “And well, whenever I get stuck or feel insecure or like I’m losing my touch I come here and it reminds me to never give up on my music. To continue believing in myself…so that’s why this place means a lot to me.”

“And well, you’ve produced for Coldplay now. Did he remember you?” She asked and he chuckled.

“He kind of did, mostly because I was a British child at one of their LA shows.” He said as they laughed softly, “He didn’t remember what we had spoken about or anything specific. And I did tell him and thank him because, if he hadn’t said that to me I’d definitely be in a whole other world, you know? It was cool and so fucking unreal for someone like me to have that full circle moment that so many people never get.” He expressed and she nodded, “And you know, those of us that get to spend our lives drowning in our passion, making art, literally getting paid to live and experience the best life has to offer just so that we can commemorate it with our art…like we’re so fortunate and so fucking lucky. It’s hard to remember that sometimes with the dark sides of this industry or even just the fame. But this is the best thing that will ever happen to you, Y/N. And what you do now that you have this platform matters more than ever. And that’s why I like you and the band, you guys are so down to earth, you’re in it for the art, you’re in it to have fun, you’re all so genuine and yourselves…never change that. Because as long as you stay in tune with yourself, even when you get stuck or feel like giving up, you’ll find your way back.” He said with certainty. And as he looked back to her she was watching him intently and then nodded in understanding at what he’d just advised. “Sorry, that got super deep, super fast-”

“It’s alright. I mean, we were bound to get deep when I asked you to bring me someplace meaningful to you.” She said and he shrugged and smiled.

“True…”

“And I know that I’ve got this like look about me that screams “I learn on my own” and “I don’t care what anyone says”, but it’s just that, a look. I promise that after the whole thing with Dr. Auclair I started taking in and listening and considering everything you’ve said to me. So I just want you to know that I listened to what you’ve just said to me, and thank you because after feeling so overwhelmed by everything tonight I just… I really needed to hear that. And I’m not going to forget it.” She shared and he smiled as he reached for her hand she smiled as he slotted their fingers together. “H, hand me the aux.” she said and he grabbed his phone and gave it over and she turned the phone away from him to type something out and then she locked it before grabbing his hand again and second later “Champion of the World” started to play over the car’s speaker and he smiled down at his lap before turning his head to look at her.

“Nice one.” He said softly and she smiled brightly at him. She was in love with the way he was looking at her in this moment. Her smile slowly started to fade as she just took him in intently. She was memorizing the details of his perfectly sculpted face, memorizing the indecipherable feeling he was emitting through his eyes. Whatever it was, it was undoubtedly a good feeling. She started to lean in and he joined her in the middle as their lips met with blazing passion as these big, beautiful emotions surged through and between them. “Do…” he paused as his lips smashed into hers once more, “d’you wanna…go back t’mine?” He rushed out with his exhale before their lips met again. He felt her nod ‘yes’ but he wanted to hear her say it. He need to, so that he knew for a fact that he wasn’t imaging that Y/N, this marvelous and radiant person, wanted him too. “Hmmm?” He insisted.

“Yeah.” She mumbled, “Take me home.” She said quietly. It was so hard to tear away from her after she said that to him.

It was just a 20 minute drive to his house in the hills and the whole time they held hands. Once they got there they wasted no time in getting inside and to his bedroom. They were undressing on the way there. It was giggly and clumsy because for some reason she was leading while Harry called out directions to her, but her unfamiliarity with his space was showing as she bumped into things along the way. When she finally got to his room he picked her up from behind and flung her onto his bed. She shrieked as she landed on the mattress with a muted thump. Harry soon climbed over her and kissed her through his smile.

“You’re so fucking pretty.” He hummed into her lips and she smiled. “I can’t get over it.” He exhaled before they started making out again. 

Y/N whimpered as his erection rubbed over her dribbling pussy. Well, over her panties, but she was so sensitive that he might as well have been rubbing himself bare through her folds. A wave of warmth pulsed through her body as his lips moved down her neck. She arched her back as he started to snake his hands under to get her bra unclasped. He did so quickly and dexterously before pulled it away from her body and sucked her nipple into his mouth. She hummed with pleasure as the other was fondled with intent. He wasn’t being delicate with her and she loved that. 

“Oh fuck…” she chuckled as he bit down on her nipple for a few seconds before sucking it hard. She was so wet for him that she was squirming as her cunt throbbed and pulse with need, “Harry. Harry, please.” She keened as she tried to find his hips with her own, “Need you inside. I need to feel you so bad.” She muttered into the dark as he sucked his mark on her breasts.

“Need me, baby?” He asked her before continuing to kiss down her body.

“Yes. Yes, I need you so bad…fuck.” She groaned as he kissed over her clothed cunt. He patted her thigh and she lifted her bum and he dragged her panties down her legs as he kissed right over her clit before licking through her slit and flicking her little bud a few times. “Harry, fuck that’s so good!” She whimpered. His licks started getting heavier and languid, sloppier even. She could feel his stubble and mustache tickling her already hypersensitive pussy as he moved his head from side to side with intent. Y/N tangled her fingers in his hair as she thrusted up to his mouth, grinding herself against him. She noticed that he grew more whiny and vocal as she used him and tugged at his hair and it made her even more aroused.

“You like when I use you to get off?” She asked and his lips turned up in a smile as his eyes fluttered up to hers, “I’ll take that as a yes.” She hummed before biting her lip and moaning, “Fuck, that’s perfect!” She praised him as he sucked her clit, brushing his tongue over it each time he’d suck it in, “Fuck…” She sighed with a smile, “y’suck my clit so good.” She panted as her tummy tightened deliciously with pleasure, “You’re gonna make me come!” She whimpered and he moaned against her, causing her toes to curl as her walls started to pulse hard and fast as she vibrated from the inside out. “Oh fuck!” She shrieked as Harry sunk two fingers into her without a warning and started to fuck her in time with his sucks on her clit. Not slowing down for a moment as she started to come.

Her hips wriggled around and her back arched as she trembled as he pulled yet another orgasm out of her without even letting her come down form the first one. Her ears were ringing and she was covered in goosebumps as the waves of pleasure rippled through her. Finally he started to slow down and then gently eased his fingers out of her.

“Taste so good, baby.” He hummed against her mound before kissing and crawling back up to her mouth. As soon as he was within reach she crashed her mouth onto his.

“That was the best head…holy fucking shit. That thing you did with the sucking and the tongue?!” She expressed with a bewildered smile.

“Enough to update your favorite thing about me?” He asked with a grin and she hummed pensively.

“I think not.” She said and he chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re such a turd.”

“Thank you.” She grinned and he chuckled. “Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I like still want to have sex with you. Like really badly.” She said and his eyes widened as he chuckled.

“Yeah, ummm, sorry I was just giving you a little break.” 

“I don’t take breaks.” She hummed as he leaned over to grab a condom from his bedside table.

“Well, good to know.” He smirked as he knelt up to get it on himself as she repositioned herself against his pillows. Watching him roll down the condom with lustful eyes and a kiss-bitten lip held down beneath her teeth. He was so fucking perfect that it was almost physically painful. And well, Y/N could admit that he was also perfect inside, like where it counted. She pressed herself to sit up and pushed herself up to pull his head down to meet him in a deep and searing kiss. He let himself fall into it and continued his task blindly. When he shifted above her she laid back down as he guided his cock down to her entrance where he gently prodded at her leaking and tight little hole a handful of times before he surged into her. His thick cock pushed her walls apart as he glided in, in one fluid motion.

“Harry!” She gasped, back arched and body tense as he plunged in to the hilt with very little resistance, “Mmmmm you’re so deep!” She whimpered lowly.

“S’that where you wanted to feel me, baby? Are you getting what you wanted? What you need from me?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yes, Harry…” she sang breathily as he started to pulse his hips, his tip nudged into her g-spot over and over and over, her breath was hitching and her legs trembling.

“Fuck, you’re squeezing so hard…” he hummed in delight, “Come for me, baby. Cream on my cock.” He panted and she moaned loudly at his filthy words as she came undone. She was coming so hard, she’d never had an orgasm solely from having her g-spot stimulated, it was game changing. A pressure had formed inside of her that she had never felt before, but it was as he had said, that’s exactly where it ached for him and he was satiating that perfectly.

His thrusts slowed down as she settled from her orgasm, but he kept going, slow and deep, not really letting the entire feeling fade. Extending and milking the pleasure for her as far as humanly possible. And it was happening as he groaned and picked up his pace. When he started going he knocked his head back and grunted with each deep pump of his cock into her. She was so wet, the sounds of her arousal sopping her up for him were unreal, she’d never been that wet before. She was certain of it. 

“I’m so close. Getting so close.” He groaned lowly as his hips started to snap harder with each dip into her pussy. One of his hands slid up from her waist to her breast, kneading it and playing with it as he brought them both closer and closer to the final orgasm. She was a fucking goddess, he wanted to obsess over her until he had learned every single detail of who she was. “Fuck, rub your little clit. Want you to come with me.” He said and she immediately did as he said. Her orgasm started to build at double speed than before. She was quickly right on the edge with him, holding on just a little bit more, trying to get the most out of this moment together until their bodies demanded their climax. “Oh shit…oh…oh… fuuuuuck.” He grunted before he started to moan as his orgasm overcame him. His desperate thrusts and gorgeous sounds pushed her over the edge. The fact that he was vocal enhanced everything for her, it brought a feeling of pleasure to her that she’d never experienced. As they lay there in satisfaction, recovering from those incredible, earth shattering orgasms she spoke up.

“I like that you’re not shy with your sounds. It’s really attractive.” She hummed as she ran her finger nails down his arm that was draped over her body.

“You know, I usually am more of a heavy breathing kind of guy. But with you being how you are, I don’t know, I just felt like I didn’t have to hold anything I felt back.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah…you can, do that with me, you know? For like anything you need…Not hold back I mean.” She added, “You can not “hold back” with me anytime and for anything.” She rephrased and he was just smirking as she tried to un-confuse herself. She only stopped when she felt his body shaking before he burst into laughter.

“I got what you meant the first time, baby.” He assured and she shook her head as she laughed. “And I want that for you too. To not hold back with me.”

“OK. I won’t.” She smiled as she confirmed this to him.

After that night everything between Y/N and Harry changed. Any rational human would think that falling in love after one night together was completely insane, but that’s exactly what had happened. The two spent time together every single day up until the day Y/N and her band left for tour. With his newfound time alone he decided to follow through with auditioning for that film he was asked to compose for and after a few nerve-racking weeks he’d found out he’d gotten the part. Obviously, Y/N was happy for him and they celebrated over FaceTime. But now that he had a new gig he needed to just take some time to get the compositions together. 

Harry worked diligently on the film score for three months. He only needed 4 pieces as there would be other songs weaved through out the film. And then it was off to filming. Filming was in Canada and that went on for 8 months. Y/N had been able to visit after the band’s tour ended, but it was just for two weeks as they were heading back into the studio soon. And just like that it had been a year apart. Because he was working on his film, he couldn’t produce their next album, though during their down time over the next holiday he did give it a listen and share some insights with her. And then the following March he got some bad news from back home about his father and he headed back for a few weeks. 

When he returned he was really upset about it, but he had solely come to break up with Y/N. His dad didn’t have very long apparently and he’d been away for so long that he decided that he needed to be there with him for as long as he could. He was going to look after him until the end. And well, Y/N completely understood why he wanted and needed to do that. It was sad, but amicable. And for the first few months they continued their routine of chatting regularly, but she soon discovered that it was just prolonging her pain. She wrote a song from it that she called “Good Grief”. It was about grieving the beautiful things, remembering them with love, and simultaneously talking about it being hard to let things like that go. That song launched them into an entirely new era and things took off for the band which ended up putting even more distance between the two. Harry also didn’t move back to LA, so they didn’t even have a chance to easily see each other and with each decision pulling them further apart they inevitably fell out of touch. 

It was three years after their break up now and the two were doing well. Y/N was about to be engaged. Well, she assumed she was. Her boyfriend, Riley had been extra odd all week and her friends and family were oddly unavailable so she was expecting it. Harry had just moved back to LA after all that time, he just needed a change of pace after looking after his dad for one year and then dealing with the aftermath of it all for the next few. He was excited to come back, reconnect with some old friends…and of course, talk to Y/N. He hadn’t moved on, he hadn’t loved anyone like he had loved her and he just wanted to be back in her life, in nay capacity. She was it for him, he knew that for certain.

It was a day like any other, except for one thing…she was craving a donut. But not just any donut, a red velvet donut from Randy’s. She knew it was completely ridiculous to be driving out to Inglewood at 4pm for a donut, but she was alone for the evening and had nothing better to do since apparently everyone in her life was mysteriously busy. She got in line for the drive thru and as she glanced out of her window absentmindedly she saw a very familiar face walking over to the back of the line. She smiled wide and her heart did flips and her stomach fluttered with butterflies at the sight of him. Of seeing him here of all places. Her mind went back to that night he brought her here. How perfectly wonderful that had been.

“Harry!” She shouted out the window and he glanced in her direction and his lips widened in a smile as he waved. “I’m gonna get out!” She shouted and he shot her a thumbs up and got out of the line to meet her where she parked. She rushed out of her car and straight into his arms. He hugged her tight and spun her around as they laughed and greeted each other with enthusiasm. “Wow! How insane to be running into you here!” 

“I know…” he shook his head.

“What brings you to LA?” She asked.

“I’m moving back actually. Just touched down and figured a little detour wouldn’t hurt.” He said and her eyebrows raised.

“Oh, that’s good. It’ll be nice to have you within reach.” She said with a smile and he nodded, “I’m sorry about everything with your dad. I wanted to call or something, but I didn’t know if I even had the right to since we haven’t talked in a long time.” She explained herself. 

“You always have a right, Y/N. Love of my life, remember?” He said and she smiled.

“Light of my life.” She said as she reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. 

They got their donuts and talked for a bit before they headed off. She waited a few days and this intense need to see him again didn’t go away. So she talked to the band about it, they knew each of them the best and well, they all agreed that maybe they needed a better form of closure. So she reached out to Harry and asked him if he wanted to go for lunch. And he accepted, which is what led them to their meet up at Seabird’s Kitchen.

“You look pretty.” He complimented her as he hugged her quickly.

“Thanks. I rushed over from a meeting I had this morning.”

“Ah, work attire.”

“Yeah.” She giggled, “So how are you settling in? Are you back at the old house?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Nah, got something smaller. Got rid of that place a few years back.” 

“Oh, I didn’t know.” She pouted, “So many amazing memories there.” She hummed and Harry nodded. 

“So what’s up?” He asked her and she sighed.

“Well…as you know, what we had together it was…magic. Literally heaven on earth.”

“We were pretty perfect weren’t we?” He smiled fondly and she nodded.

“Yeah…and ummmm, well I’ve never really been able to 100% move on because well…there were just a lot of things left unsaid because we kind of broke up and then you went back home. And I guess I just…didn’t want to talk to you about that when I knew that you were dealing with so much already.” She explained and he hummed. “I guess I just needed closure on a few things because…well, I ummm….” She swallowed thickly, she had no idea why she felt guilty saying this to him, but it just felt wrong to tell Harry this information, it didn’t make any sense, “I think I’m getting engaged really soon.” She said and his eyebrows shot up.

“Oh!” He said and quickly morphed his surprise into a smile instead of the frown that was clawing itself to the surface, “Congrats!” He smiled brightly. He knew that she had a boyfriend…but he doesn’t know why it never felt real to him. Maybe because he hadn’t heard it from her own two lips. Or perhaps because he was far away so it didn’t feel like a reality to him? Who knows, but reality hit him over the head with that one and he could feel his heart breaking over her once again.

“Thank you.” She forced her smile as best as she could. As she looked down at his hand she could very easily picture herself holding it in hers. She could see herself enjoying it and her heart warming as she pictured their fingers interlacing together. As if no time at all had ever passed. It made her feel afraid now as all of it started rushing back to her.

“Hey, are you alright?” Harry asked her and she nodded.

“Yeah, I just got distracted.” She shook her head, “Ummm, well anyway I just wanted to I guess give us the proper goodbye we deserved.” She said and he nodded with a broken heart but he stayed for 3 hours, catching up, joking around, talking, reminiscing until it was time to go. Harry was walking Y/N to her car since she had parked quite far down the street. And when they got to her car she had him hop in so that she could give him a ride back to his car. And they hummed to her music playing from her phone as they made the short drive over, and soon they were just saying their goodbyes. He was hugging her over the console, mentally saying a different kind of goodbye to her that was making his heart wilt in his chest. They were about to pull back when “Champion of the World” started to play and she smiled as she relaxed in his hold before pulling back a bit, their foreheads pressing together and it felt like no time had passed at all.

“We’ve been here before.” He whispered and she hummed in confirmation as her eyes fluttered shut to give herself a moment. This was hurting far more than she expected it to. It felt like they were breaking up all over again and this time it was her choice and he was complacent in her decision. It felt wrong to be saying goodbye to each other twice. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna fall out of love with you.” He said softly and her eyes fluttered open and she slightly frowned as she looked from his eyes to his lips a couple of times before just doing what her intrusive thoughts had been telling her to do since he’d shown up this afternoon. She surged forward and slotted her lips against his. 

Harry didn’t hesitate to kiss back. One deep kiss led them to a stolen peck, then another, and then a deeper kiss, and more and more. It felt like they were kissing to makeup for the three years they hadn’t been able to kiss. There was still so much love between them, Y/N supposes it had just been dormant this entire time he was gone. And she had indeed missed how it felt to be completely and undeniably gone for someone. There wasn’t another thought running through her mind in that moment, so as they pulled away she knew that she was still in love with him. She had been this whole time.

“Fuck…sorry.” He whispered and she shook her head.

“I kissed you, so it’s alright. I’m sorry, if I kissed you and you didn’t want to kiss me.” She apologized.

“I’d never not want to kiss you.” He chuckled and she smiled with a heat in her cheeks from his flirtations. “Do you regret it yet?” He asked teasingly and she shook her head, but she wasn’t smiling. She was completely serious.

“I can’t regret anything that happens between us. It’s just a proper goodbye, yeah?” She said sadly and he nodded wordlessly.

“Hey, you better invite me to the wedding. Just because it’s not me, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there or that I’m not happy for you. OK?”

“OK.” She smiled and with that he got out and they went their separate ways.

She cried the entire way home and she felt completely heart broken. Like she had lost him all over again and she couldn’t be getting married to someone when she was in love with someone who wasn’t the person she was supposed to marry.  She was so absolutely confused and it was affecting her work horribly. They were in the middle of some writing sessions for their next album and she was not being even a little bit helpful. Her mind was elsewhere. And it was like that for two whole weeks and everyone was fed up with her. 

“Dude what is wrong with you?” Kassie asked her and she groaned.

“I don’t know…I’m really distracted.” She fibbed and everyone sighed, “I just…can’t do this today. Sorry, guys.” She said before gathering her things and heading out. When she got to her apartment Riley was there  making dinner and it made her heart sad that it wasn’t Harry.

“Hey, love!” He smiled and the smile faded as soon as he saw her face.

“Ummm, he’s back. And I asked to see him.” She said to Riley who sighed. He had been there through the entire break up, between her and Harry. At the time he was a session musician who’d been hired to play on one of their songs. But he was so nice and thoughtful. But he also knew the love that she and Harry shared for each other. In a way he always expected their paths to cross again, but he’d just hoped that it wouldn’t affect her. But he still did, in every way apparently.

“When are you seeing him?”

“It was two weeks ago.” She said and he nodded. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I was just hoping to get some closure on some stuff. But then I…I realized that I’m still in love with him. And I kissed him.” She confessed everything, “I’m really sorry.”

“Jesus, Y/N.” Riley said with disappointment.

“I know…I should’ve told you right away but I was trying to figure out what I should do.”

“There’s only one thing to do, Y/N. You said you’re in love with him.” Riley shook his head, “You know, I always knew this would happen some day.” He said lowly, “I was stupid for thinking you’d pick me though.” He said as he made his way towards the couch and grabbed his sweater and he furiously slipped into his sneakers, “Please, don’t call me when this all blows up in your face.” He said with spite before he slammed the door hard on his way out. 

She frowned, obviously she deserved that, but he was a good guy. He hadn’t done anything wrong, he just….wasn’t the love of her life. Maybe she was foolish for thinking that things could start back up with Harry. Well, it’d been a few years, they’d been through plenty of things on their own, it was safe to say that they were pretty different people now. But the way things felt were exactly the same, it wasn’t just nostalgia. Being with him made her feel alive and in control and like everything would be alright. She was a bit stuck with her next step, as she weighed out her options. She sighed and decided to take a drive to the place that always helped her think.

The sun was setting as she placed her hands on the white rails of the Forum parking lot. After Harry left she’d made it her special place to come think. He had given this place a new meaning to her and it felt like the best place to decide on whether that goodbye they had was the final one or if she should give in to her desires and go after him. She stood there for a few minutes, just the sounds of the city around her.

“Why am I not surprised to see you here?” She heard and turned around to see Harry in his shorts and hoodie, smiling brightly and she smiled back.

“What brings you here?” She asked.

“Feeling a bit stuck…And you?”

“Same.” She responded. They were quiet for a little bit before she spoke up, “I think we’re feeling stuck over the same thing.” She said to him and he glanced to her, his eyes soft as he looked over to her.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Whether it’s too late for us or not.” She said softly and he hummed as he looked at her.

“Well what do you think?” He asked and she bit her lip.

“I told Riley we kissed…he told me not to call him.” She said and he frowned.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” She said softly and he glanced up into her eyes with a gleam of hope, “I’ve been in love with you this whole time. Waiting for you. I want us back. I-if you’ll still have me.” She offered a hopeful smile and he grabbed her face and leaned in to kiss her.

“Course I’ll have you.” He hummed with a smile, “You’re the love of my life.” He said softly and she smiled against his lips.

“And you’re the light of my life.” 

As always, all feedback is appreciated!

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[shout-it-out13]

This fandom I swear

So I know I’m basically screaming into the void here but I have seen some seriously alarming tendencies of both parasocial behaviour and now downright infantalisation regarding Yoongi’s DUI incident

Now I’m a big fan of Yoongi, and I’m just as fond of the “lil meow meow” memes about him as anybody else, but it just doesn’t apply in this case.

Let me spell out the obvious (because then takes I’m seeing is downright worrying):

1. Min Yoongi is a 31 year old man. Not a baby or a teen, a whole ass adult, in his 30s. Thus him being of legal age, makes him as fully subject to the law, as any other legal adult of legal age (or even those of minor age, persecution of underage people is very much a thing, and even if he wasn’t an adult, he would still have received criminal punishment).

2. Him and the company appears to not have worded the translation properly, it was on a proper scooter, not on of those electrical scooters. And even if it was, it still probably would have counted, operating anything from a plane, car, boat, tractor, scooters etc counts as a DUI.

3. A DUI is a serious offense, no matter what the outcome is. It’s fortunate that this situation was so mild, nobody got hurt nor no personal damages, it still is a serious offense and should have be treated as such. Yes, we shouldn’t be treating this situation as if he hit and killed somebody, but he still could have, and this needs to be taken seriously.

Min Yoongi, a man in his 30s (a grown ass man of legal age, whom I’m seeing getting his criminal offense downplayed like nothing happened by those both of legal age and those not), committed a crime, as mild as the situation was, is a serious situation and for that break of the law, he deserves to be punished for it. And the fact that there are people treating like he did nothing wrong is just idiotic.

The amount of parasocial behaviour (friendly reminder, you will never truly know any idol, youtuber, celebrity, actor etc if you don’t personally know them (no meeting them multiple times and borderline stalking them and learning evrry single detail you can about them online doesn’t count) and infantilisation in this fandom is insane.

Stop putting people you look up to on such a high pedestal until the point where you think they can do nothing wrong (like some armys are doing right now, with a man in his 30s)

I love Yoongi, I still look up to him even after this, I’m glad that he wasn’t hurt and that this doesn’t hurt his military service. I hope he learns from this, faces whatever legal punishment they give him, and hope that he can regain his license again in the future.

I hope he, the company and most importantly the fandom, recognises how serious this situation is and stops going “poor little meow meow” or “I’m in love with a criminal” (no you don’t, nobody in the fandom knows who and how BTS are in their private lives (private lives whom they are fully entitled to keep hidden from overobsessive fangirls who thinks stalking people counts as knowing them. They’re people, not objects nor saints, please treat them as such) over a man who commuted a criminal offense, aka broke the law and now needs to face said punishment.

I know I have been repeating myself over and over, but with the amount of braindead takes seen in this fandom regarding theses legal grown men, is just painful.

[ak319]

Yan General Sister? x Fem reader

NOT INCEST!

This is the 2nd scenario I wrote. Hope you love it too.

Warnings: Possessive toxic behaviour, forced marriage, dub-con, violence, blackmailing, forced pregnancy

1799 , September:

The whole family sat after so many months and I couldn't be more happier. We were having dinner, all my sisters and I along with their children, one of the babies by the name of Harlow, a boy of 3 months was in my lap playing with his fingers and I swear it is the cutest sight ever. I was sitting on the left of Jara, who was sitting at the head of the table. Every few minutes she would nudge me or comment to make me eat or feed me something like a baby. Everyone else paid no mind as they were used to this and adored how Jara took care of me despite being so serious and cold all the time. But seriously, even Harlow might be thinking right now " Umm, who is the baby here?"

"Master Jara?" My second older sister, Demelza spoke grabbing everyone's attention. Demelza and Jara had taken our parents' role after their death. Demelza even after getting married paid heed to the needs and responsibilities of our estate and her younger siblings.

"I was thinking, now that Flora is engaged so why not we start looking for a proper suitor for (Y/N)."

I kept looking down at Harlow's round head , not because of shyness but due to fear of what would come next. 

"No." Phew.

Demelza nervously laughed to break the tension in the room.

"No what Jara? . Umm , it would take time to find a suitor and by then (Y/N) would be mature-" My other sister , Edith tried to reason .

"I said no. She's still not of age. Focus on Flora's marriage preparations for now."

Then I felt her gaze on me and I was right, she was glaring at me.

"Go to sleep instead of sitting here and not even eating." What!? I ate two steaks , what the hell does she want?

"Fine." I handed Harlow to Golda , his mum  and stomped to my room.

I was furious at how she ordered me around but also was happy that she didn't give Demelza permission for my marriage. Perks of being her favourite!

I woke up to a baby crying from the other room beside mine and it sure was Harlow. He quieted down moments later when probably Golda started feeding him. But now, I couldn't sleep and needed to eat something sweet so got out of my room. As I was walking sleepily down the candle-lit hall, I heard hushed voices from Jara's study which used to be my father's once.

I couldn't get rid of my curiosity and made my way sneakily to the door. Now I could see my older sister Demelza and Jara arguing about something. Demelza was standing beside Jara who sat on the study chair looking as if she was in deep thought but still had her signature frown on her face. She was wearing a loose white shirt which indicated that she was about to go to sleep.

"It's---it's just not right."

"Who are you or anyone else for this matter to decide whether it's right or wrong?"

"Jara , (Y/N) is our sister and that's what everyone knows her as. She too believes it . And if you were to ......marry her , then what would people say?"

WHAT!? DID I HEAR THAT CORRECTLY? AM I IN A NIGHTMARE? I pinched myself and no, it was real. My stomach churned up and my body started sweating even in the cold night of September.

"SHE'S NOT MY OR YOUR SISTER! Stop saying it. I've never seen her that way nor is she blood-related so I don't give a damn about people and if anyone does raise questions or has a problem then he or she can talk to my sword ...anytime." 

Wait .....not blood-related? This can't be. No. Am I adopted?. Is this the reason I don't look like any of my sisters? I can't believe it. For (YOUR AGE) of my life, I felt as if this was my family when it isn't? 

I rushed back to my room and after locking it, cried heavily on my bed. I tried to console myself that this might have been just a dream and soon fell asleep.

1 month later:

No one talked about my marriage after that night and I too somewhat recovered from the trauma but I always felt scared and nervous around Jara thinking about what she had said about marrying me. My questions about her being a bachelor were now clear, she had her eyes on me. Shameful. Utterly disgusting. I always looked up to her as my mentor, my sister and .....second father. How can she say that so easily? I just prayed every day that she would forget about what she had said.

After the grand marriage of Flora to the son of the Duke, everything had begun to settle for everyone except for me as now I was left alone in the mansion with Jara but thankfully Demelza had offered to stay for some days before leaving and I couldn't be more glad. Perhaps I can go to her house for some time if only Jara allows it which I hope she does. Even if she doesn't, I would rebel with every fibre of my body. I am not staying here for a minute.

"(Y/N)? What's all this?" Demelza entered my room and was shocked to see my suitcase packed.

"I am going with you."  I said with a grin as to melt her heart but it must've failed terribly as she stared at me.

"Did you ask Jara?

"No, but don't you think it's been long since I have stayed with you and I will miss you awfully if you go."

"I can't take you if Jara doesn't allow it which she would never. You never stayed with me before so why now (Y/N)? Are you hiding something from me? Is everything alright?" Me and hiding? I think it's you all who have been hiding a lot from me. I kept my mouth shut because I didn't know what reaction I would get if I told her I knew my identity.

"No , just thought it would be great.."

"(Y/N) , I don't mind taking you but you know Jara.... and actually , that's why I came to talk to you."

We both sat down on the bed and she took my hand in hers.

"(Y/N), I know it's going to be heavy for you at first but I know you are a very brave and kind girl and will understand me. " She pursed her lips and breathed in for a minute and I could tell what she was going to say.

"You were adopted and it's not a joke. You are our mother's friend's daughter. Your real mother was Kyla and she had eloped with someone and couldn't take care of you as she was young and not in good financial conditions. When she finally came to take you, it was too late. You were 13 and our parents had recently both passed, on top of that Jara---she didn't allow you to be taken away. Your parents however tried their best to get you but Jara had enough and she....exiled them. " I couldn't believe that Jara could be this cruel.

"How can she do that?! I have the right to meet them , to be with them."

"I know , we all know you do. But she -----listen (Y/N)-

"I heard both of you that night!. Just needed to hear the whole story. And now, I am not staying here for a second. Please, Dolly, take me to my parents." I called her by her nickname as my eyes teared up thinking what my parents must be going through. She was shocked to hear that I heard them both but she nodded gently. 

"If only our parents were alive, I would've taken you but now..." She whispered before wiping my tears "You can't leave because ......Jara has sent me to tell you that from now--you are her betrothed." She stated firmly as if trying her best not to cry and not take pity on me but I knew she loved me very much.

"NO! No, please Dolly , I -I can't marry Jara . She--she's..she is like my sister-

"Ssh, don't say that!. She doesn't want you to say it anymore." She put her finger on my lips and now she was shedding a few tears herself.

"(Y/N) ---I am so sorry. I am--stuck between you and," She paused and cleared her throat.

"And what?!" She ignored my query and continued.

"You have to marry her . Perhaps then you can meet your parents."

"NO! I don't want to stay here! Please Dolly , I am ---scared of Jara. " I screamed and begged her but then my bedroom's door was thrown open and there stood Jara. I closed my eyes and turned my head  furiously to the other side as Dolly moved closer to me as to shield me.

"You will stay here and be my wife. That's not a choice. So quit whining. And yes, maybe I'll take you to your parents if you bear me a child first." My eyes bulged out at her bold statement as I shook Dolly to say something in my defence.

"Jara! Give her a break, please. I am talking to her! . "

"And it's clearly not working. I have called for the arrangements to be made by the end of the month. This wedding will take place no matter what happens. And remember what we talked about, Demelza." Dolly nodded desperately and I looked at her confused. After the monster left when I asked her, she brushed it off and hugged me tightly whilst continuously whispering apologies.

"Dolly , there must be a way!."

"There isn't (Y/N). Her men are everywhere even on the borders. There's no way for you to run otherwise I would've helped you run away myself. Believe me." She broke away and held my shoulders tightly.

"Now, Jara is,I know strict and many other things but she loves you perhaps....too much. She won't do anything to you ever. I promise you and if she does, I am just a letter away, love. Hmm? Look at me, let me see you smile." 

I shook my head.

"She's bad. I hate her, Dolly. I hate her."

"Every person has a good and bad side, there's no need to be afraid. You will live like a princess you are." She kissed my forehead and all I could was silently protest.

Amber's POV:

"And now my dear students, we are going to move to my personal favourite, hehe! And possibly the most daunting part of the estate, perhaps the reason millions of people visit it." Our guide announced as our group followed her to a wing at the interior of this palace.

Our eyes were met with a large painting on the right before the chamber's door. 

"This painting, my dear students is chilling and well normal at the same time. The woman in the uniform you see is General Jara Armani herself and the girl sitting on the seat is her wife Lady (Y/N) Armani!." My feet turned cold and goosebumps travelled all over my body and I was pretty sure I wasn't the only one as the room had gone eerily silent. Every eye stared at the painting like a hawk. We had seen countless paintings on the way here ranging from Armani's ancestors to the four Armani sisters and their belongings. But this was the first time we had seen the infamous General and her wife. 

We had read so much about Jara Armani in our textbooks, due to all the wars she participated in and not forgetting the "LOVE STORY" of her and her wife who was once her "sister". The whole world knows, some people perceive it as a fairytale whilst others as a scary story. I perceived it as the latter.

"The cute baby that you see in General's hands is Sir Richardus who grows up to be Admiral Richardus, who defeated the Blue robes in his youth by building the strongest fleet the world had ever seen at that time and the second cutie pie in her mother's lap is Elena Armani, born shortly after her brother. She was known to be very intelligent and also beautiful just like her mother. She grew up to be a scholar and also was her brother's trustee and advisor. Now, coming to the parents. So Lady (Y/N) was actually..."

The guide began telling about Lady (Y/N) while my mind thought about what the poor girl went through after marriage.

 Both were married in 1799 and the wedding was not that grand considering the General was getting married. Even though the King had attended himself still, the wedding was unpretentious as Jara wasn't a fan of extravagance. And even though everyone had their questions about why Jara was marrying her "adoptive sister", no one had the guts to question her. You can say, not even the King. Let's just say those who did---were never found.

After the wedding, Jara was more possessive of her wife. (Y/N) was only allowed to leave alongside her wife. When Jara went to battles, (Y/n) was on lockdown. Her sisters were no longer permitted to meet her in Jara's absence as General feared that they would fill (Y/n)'s ears against her even when they didn't and just wanted to meet their baby sister or--- their sister-in-law. 

Within a year, (y/n) gave birth to Richardus and shortly after, the next year 1801, gave birth to Elena. This wasn't it as she went on to give birth to five more children, two sons and three more daughters. However, this painting is the only painting with Lady (y/n) and with her first two children as Jara wasn't a fan of painting and her wife being displayed along with her children. It is said that the painter who rendered this portrait is never to be seen again after it. Some people say Jara killed him by gouging his eyes out immediately or exiled him but it could be just rumours. It disgusts me that people romanticize a relationship Jara and (Y/N) had. Some people even say that this painting is fake because Jara would never allow her wife to be painted but the chances of this being true are thin because it was specifically ordered by the King that every General and Prime Minister had to have a painting of them and their spouse as per tradition and Jara had no other option but to obey the King as she never disobeyed the royalty, almost as if the King made this law to purposefully piss off Jara and test her patience. Yeah, he was indeed a waggish guy.

This original painting was only found in the Armani estate and was worth millions. You can't find it on Google or in any book because people do it in the honour of Jara Armani. Again disgusting. Honouring the acts of such a person? Absolute bullshit.  Those people are actually Jara's descendants. They are the ones who don't let it go public. They are either still scared of Jara or just don't want to disrespect her when it comes to Lady (Y/N). Which sounds very odd to me. How can someone be scared of a dead person?

There is an incident that is very famous regarding Lady Demelza . When General Jara had gone off to battle, she had come to take (Y/n) with her as the latter was feeling very stressed and sick during her first pregnancy. Demelza ought to keep (y/n) with her until her sister would come back so (y/n) wouldn't feel lonely. Convincing the guards was something which came easy to Demelza. She was desperate to spend time with her sister and wouldn't let Jara or her minions stop her at all.

(Y/N)'s POV: 

 January 14th , 1800:

"Dolly? Do you think , after the baby is born , I'll get to meet my parents?" I asked my sister as she massaged my  feet softly.

"If she has promised then ..yes because one thing I know is that Master Jara never breaks her promise."

I nodded and sighed, relaxing back into the soft pillows. The cookies that Dolly had made really lifted my mood up and the glass of warm honey milk I had gulped down, was now making me sleepy. I heard her chuckle.

"You should sleep now,"

"But stay here , please."

"Yes I am here , don't worry sweetie. Rest now and goodnight little pumpkin. Can't wait to meet you." She caressed my bump and then covered me with the fur blanket. Minutes later we heard shouts and I woke up , half asleep.

"What's happening? Dolly?"

"Stay here, I'll check."

"But-"

"Shush. Lock the door." 

She carefully got up and walked out. I got out of bed and wore a shawl around my body. I locked the door but then heard Jara's voice. I gasped .

'She is here!'

I opened the door and upon reaching the staircase , the words my ears caught on , made me nearly faint.

"Not only did your husband betray me on the battlefield but you did too by bringing my wife here without my consent. So here is your reward." I saw her throwing  Mr. Cynrik's head on the floor , who was my brother-in-law.

"AAAHH! CYNRIK! NOOOO! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME! CYNRIK!" Dolly fell down on her knees, near her husband's head. Still screaming and wailing while I just saw the scene unfold like a statue.

"Stop crying over a traitor. And go bring (y/n) , I am taking her home."

"DIDN'T YOU ONCE THINK ABOUT ME OR MY CHILDREN! CURSE YOU JARA! CURSE YOU!"

All I could remember after that was pain and lots of pain as I fell down on the floor . Jara had carried me away and took me to the nearest nursing home where I gave birth to my son. Here my baby cried and on the other side my ears still rang with my sister's cries . My wife however , was unfazed by all of it. She had forgiven me for staying at Dolly's due to the sudden 'homecoming gift' I gave her.

"Richardus , how does it sound (y/n)?" She kissed my forehead as she sat beside me , holding our child.

I gave her no response. I felt her nudge me with her forehead lovingly. This damned love of hers. It has taken everything away from me.

"I want to see Dolly."

"Don't you dare say her name . Ever. You will not meet her from now."

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! PLEASE! I BEG YOU LET ME MEET HER ONE LAST TIME!"

" Don't take advantage of my patience. We are going back to the capital, right now." She handed me the baby, or should I say Richardus, and stood up.

"Maersa! Ready the carriage!."

"Yes ma'am." The man outside the room ran for his life to do the assigned task.

After that , I was taken back to the prison which Jara called home with our son. Despite my pleas, Jara didn't listen and I could never find out how my sister and her children handled themselves after this horrid incident as that was the last time I saw her, hugged her, talked with her, laughed and cried. She couldn't even be there to see Richardus or any of my children. It all happened just because I was too whiny to go with her and felt stressed. Only if I stayed in the mansion like an obedient wife that night.

The threat that Jara had given to Dolly before our marriage finally came true. Dolly's personal maid had disclosed to me that Jara had threatened to kill her husband if I didn't marry her which reminded me of the time when she was scared of Jara as she was trying to convince me of this forsaken marriage.

After Richardus was born , I demanded Jara to find my parents but she always found a way to make an excuse and eventually I let it go and focused more on my "HOME" and children. I had accepted the fact that Jara had lied to me. She was intimidating and just two times worse than she was before when I was younger. More protective and obsessive. 

It is written in her will which she told me herself proudly whilst combing my hair like she did every night , that if she dies before me then I was to be killed as well because

"You are deemed to be only with me, love."

Like every other night, once she finished combing, pulled me lightly to her embrace as she settled on the bed. Her lips began to trail feathery kisses on my neck.

"I think Richardus deserves a little sibling, doesn't he?" She bit on my collarbone and groaned.

I push her away almost as if my body reacted on itself.

" It's only been 8 months--- I can't have another one...so soon." I don't know how I became confident enough to behave like this. But it was also liberating ...to some extent. To say "No" to her albeit knowing it was futile.

Her eyes darkened as she pulled me back again, this time not so gently.

"You don't get to decide that. If I want one, I will have one, wife."

I shook my head violently, hoping that she would be considerate.

"Jara--please. Try to understand." A gasp nearly left my lips as I was promptly pushed onto the bed with her hovering above me.

"You said your vows which were to keep me happy and obey me." Her hand untied my robes, the other one gripping my leg.

"So do your duty now."

Amber's POV:

"So, this is how (Y/N) had to spend her life now as, 'The General's Doted Wife'. She died of food poisoning the next day after her wife's death. Tragic, sad and yet very haunting". The guide, Rose, ended her speech while clasping her hands together. 

"Okayy now , let's move on to see their grand room now shall we?"

You might be wondering why I knew so much at the age of 15, even the secrets which this woman didn't know about.

It is because these two were my great-great-great-grandparents. I was from the line of Jara's third son, Dorian who was really close to (Y/N) when it came to understanding her trauma. He was the youngest child. The other children were more or less just like Jara. Ruthless. That is because she raised them to be like that. They were probably too scared to stand up for their mother anyway. That is why (Y/N) had asked Dorian to keep her diary. I had read everything in her diary and---it really changed my perception of this 'great family'. I scoffed in my mind thinking about my other cousins who were such fans of Jara Armani. I hope she is suffering in the deepest depths of hell.

Here is the link to the first part which is a platonic one.

Scenario 1 (Yan Gen sister)

[writerdream22]

THE GREAT- Jujutsu Kaisen x OC

Can be found on Wattpad through my profile: @ avalonant

────────────────────────────────

0. THE HEIR

Yutaka Endo had taken a drastic decision. He was well aware of the fact that it was frowned upon to teach Kage to a female member of the clan, but his granddaughter was his last resort in order to keep the family's traditions alive and restore its name in the Jujutsu World.

Chizuru was indeed way too young to be taught the technique. But she had shown a great aptitude in the manipulation of cursed energy since the day she was born, so Yutaka knew that he had made the right choice.

Not that he had any other options, anyways.

His only son, Hansuke, had refused to learn how to use Kage and opted to craft a technique of his own.

His daughter Hekima, on the other hand, had been deemed unsuitable for the task by the other members of the family.

This, along with the fact that he knew that he would not have been alive long enough to teach it to his grandson, led the leader of the Endo clan to appoint Chizuru as his heir.

The only thing left for the man to do was to announce it to the other members of the family.

──────────────────

1995

"Are you crazy?" the scream of Hansuke Endo resounded in the living room of the clan's main residence "She cannot be the last one to be taught Kage, let alone the next leader of the clan! What has gotten into your mind?"

Yutaka sat in front of his son, unfazed by his words.

"Considering that it was you who refused to learn it, and thus are now unable to pass it down onto your children, you cannot come here and make any demands on the matter. Your son is yet to be born, and even though Chizuru is just six years old she has proven to be up to the task" he paused "I have taken my decision. She will begin training with me next year"

Hansuke groaned in annoyance. He knew that he couldn't do anything to change his father's mind, so he sat up and got out of the room, soon followed by his wife.

It was clear that from that moment on Chizuru was not going to live an easy life. But it was, hopefully, for the best.

──────────────────

1996

Yutaka stood in front of his granddaughter, in the middle of the old training room which he hadn't walked into in a long time.

"You need to pay attention, Chizuru. As next leader of the Endo clan, you will have to know Kage like the back of your hand" he explained, to which the young girl nodded in response.

"You will learn the art of Jujutsu and master the use of cursed energy. I don't have much time, so you will need to catch on as quickly as you can. Understood?"

Chizuru smiled widely, holding up the wooden replica of his grandfather's katana, before exclaiming "Understood!" and copied his motions as he got into a fighting stance.

Yutaka hoped to find some sort of interest in her eyes, and he got exactly what he wanted.

──────────────────

2004

Chizuru grew up to be magnificent.

She had great potential, her grandfather could see it. His other grandchildren were similarly powerful, but it seemed like they were unable to understand the seriousness of their role.

If only Yutaka could be there just a little bit longer, he would have been able to teach her even more.

But fate had other plans.

If you're reading this I, Yutaka Endo, son of Haruki, have departed from the mortal plane.

Even though it was disclosed that you would be my successor, I know that it will be your father who will take on the role of clan leader until you become of age. It will hopefully be for your best, as you will be able to get a proper education and strengthen yourself even more.

I have already arranged for you to start attending Tokyo Jujutsu High as soon as you turn 15, which is very soon.

You have a great burden on your shoulders, one that I have imposed on you, and I hope that you will not divert from the correct path and fall victim to your family's wrongdoings.

There is much that you still have to learn, but you have to let time run its course.

I have faith in you, little dove, and I trust that you will do great things.

Farewell for now,

your grandfather.

And so began Chizuru's story.

A/N

If you have any suggestions or would like to point out any mistakes in my writing, please do

Feedbacks are always appreciated!

[distantlaughter]

Exclusive Interview- Nico Rosberg

Originally published 23 January 2014 on transfermarkt.com (x)

Nico Rosberg has big plans for 2014. The Formula One pilot is desperate for a shot fighting for the Formula One championship and would love to become champion with Mercedes. "It is time for a proper clash" he says in an interview with Transfermarkt. But we spoke to the 28-year-old German mostly about his second love – football. Since he was a little boy Rosberg supports FC Bayern.

Transfermarkt: Why FC Bayern?

Nico Rosberg: Because Bayern were the first club I encountered. Again and again. When I was at my parents there was always football running – every Saturday. There you could see all clubs. But during the week, there was mostly Bayern. I learned to love them during the Champions League evenings – something happened between me and them.

Transfermarkt: And this "relationship" had it´s peak last May in London?

Nico Rosberg: No, unfortunately not. I couldn´t be there as I first had to win my home Formula One race (laughs). The Formula One is not very lenient in that respect. But in the driver´s paddock luckily football is a hot topic and everyone has his favourite club. Felipe Massa for example is also completely crazy about football and so are the English drivers. During the Chmpions League final we Germans obviously had the upper hand! I was extremely happy.

Transfermarkt: Your fondest football memory?

Nico Rosberg: Hmm…probably the summer of 1990. I was only just 5 but I still remember that we were in Sardinia at some friends' place. And our parents were totally taken by the World Cup fever. The final we watched on a boat everyone was edgy and I couldn´t really understand that at my age, but with the final whistle it was pure joy. And I just repaetedly jumped from the boat into the water because I was so happy. I think I even managed my first somersault – long before Miroslav Klose used his as a trademark (laughs)

Transfermarkt: Do you have a Bayern Shirt?

Nico Rosberg: Of course!

Transfermarkt: And what name is on the back?

Nico Rosberg: Via the national team I was able to meet some of the players and they visited us once at the Monaco race. Really great guys! So my problem is: If I had Müller on my kit it wouldn´t be fair towards Robben who I also really like – Or Schweinsteiger. No, I couldn´t decide for one.

Transfermarkt: But a shirt without a name is not cool!

Nico Rosberg: I do have a name on the back: Rosberg. That was the least problematic! (laughs) But seriously, the shirt was given to me by Philipp Lahm with signatures of all players and Rosberg was already printed on the back. I thought that was excellent.

Transfermarkt: Last match in the stadium?

Nico Rosberg: I manage that very seldom. Last time I was seen in the Allianz Arena was in the end of 2011 against Dortmund. Wasn´t so great, we lost 0:1 against Dortmund and the goal was scored by Götze – luckily he now plays for the right club (laughs)

Transfermarkt: At the best club in the world?

Nico Rosberg: Definitely. It is impressive what an extremely strong team has evolved. Now even with international flair through Guardiola. You don´t see a Bayern team as great as this one very often, and only many, many years ago.

Transfermarkt: Is that a motivation for Mercedes to become the best team of Formula One?

Nico Rosberg: That´s difficult to compare. We started building the team up basically from zero. But this phase is past us and it took long enough. It is time for a proper clash now, regarding the results.

Transfermarkt: Do you envy the "winner gene" of Bayern?

Nico Rosberg: No, I think it is about your very own motivation. This will to win every single time. And I can say about myself that I do have that. I am extremely ambitious. I want to solve every task and I am definitely not good at losing. Winning gives me enormous joy and makes me even more hungry for winning again. Whoever wants to get to that feeling needs to have the ambition to come first every time.

Transfermarkt: Are you comfortable with a ball yourself?

Nico Rosberg: Not great, but a little bit. Football has been my second favorite hobby. I played in a suburb of Monte Carlo in a club some years ago. Well, actually I only went to the training as I had cart races every Saturday. But as I said, I am not very talented. I think with racing I have chosen the right path. Funny really, that I was so much better at it. In the end both sports are about similar things. You need eye-foot-coordination for one and eye-hand-coordination for the other. Let´s just say: My foot is better for stepping on the gas then playing passes (laughs).

Transfermarkt: Is Formula One more likely to compare with football where the whole team is working with the star or with Tour de France, where the whole team is working for the star?

Nico Rosberg: Good question, easy answer: The team, the whole machinery is working for two drivers. We are the ones who have to convert the work that hundreds of colleagues have done for month and every day again in the end. And we the drivers drive for our team but also against each other. That is a very special situation. The tactics might change within a season. At some point we start driving together for the team. That is a whole different spirit. Like it was at the end of last season. We just wanted to beat Ferrari in the constructors ranking and come overall second. When we reached this goal it was an amazing feeling for everyone involved. From start to the end of a season the approach can change.

Transfermarkt: Back to Bayern. How many titles will it be this season?

Nico Rosberg: As good as we currently are we should basically win the lot. If in the right moment luck is on our side. Luck plays a big part as well of course.

Transfermarkt: There is a Bayern fan talking. What about the German national team?

Nico Rosberg: They have every chance of becoming World Champions in Rio. What a great goal to look forward to. Seriously, which team is really better than the German team? We have so many so good players. The chance is there, so I think it can happen!

Transfermarkt: But you will only have a chance of watching it on the TV, right?

Nico Rosberg: Yes, it looks that way. TV, live ticker and on the mobile. I seldom miss a match. Even in the engineer meetings I take a look at my mobile or internet-TV - in secret of course, nobody must know…

Transfermarkt: Be careful then. And thanks a lot for the interview.

[driftward]

Folks what keep to themselves are folks what stay alive out here. It don't do nobody no good to go pryin' too much into anyone's history. We all got our secrets to keep. And some people, well, they're tryin' to leave a past behind.

Best let sleeping hounds lie.

A Desertwalkers story

The Woman Who Was

The war was over.

Ada Fairlight stood on the platform as behind her, the train left, to continue on to its next destination.

The military was done with her.

She had long been done with it.

Nobody was there to meet her at the station. She made her way to the carriages, and made her way home.

“Your brother wanted to be the one to welcome you home,” her mother had said later in the evening, in a rare moment of something approaching softness. “But some days, his condition is worse than others. I’m afraid he is not lucid tonight.”

Ada nodded, understood.

The accident. She had been there for it. She had come out fine, but his lungs had been burnt, scarred. His breathing would never return to normal again. And so they wrote, while she was still serving, and he was at home.

He never complained in his letters. They were always light, easy, like he had been. Simple stories of days as they passed, simple questions into how she was doing, simple updates on the social going ons of home.

She watched him as he slept, and left him alone.

She was there when he was awake, and offered what scant comfort she could.

She held his hand, and told him where she would be going, and he squeezed, and smiled, and winked, and was his usual warm self, full of a light she did not deserve.

Go, he told her. He would keep in touch.

Her mother, for a blessing, fully approved of the undertaking.

Too old for proper courtship, and too young to be taken seriously as a family matriarch, Ada supposed.

Well, she was the second born, her mother said. Never should have expected much of her, went unsaid.

It didn’t matter. She did not want nor need her mother’s approval, anyroad.

And so, former Captain Ada Fairlight changed, becoming graduate student of natural and physical studies Ada Fairlight, as she started life at university.

~*~

Ada Fairlight spent most of her time in the library.

There were a few students who, like her, were former military. She had become a pariah during her time of service, however, and that history ensured that she would not find camaraderie with them.

The other students, she simply did not find much in common with. They were younger than her, turning to university as they came of age, rather than first having had to go and meet the needs of the nation.

And so she existed, feeling somewhat outside of the shared human experience.

But in her studies, she found wonder.

In the rules and rigor of mathematics, in the exploration of theories still being formed. In the ways it could be applied to try and bring understanding to a world she frequently found confusing. In the quiet hours, all by herself.

“Pardon me, is this seat taken?”

Well, perhaps not all by herself.

“Not at all. Please, help yourself,” said Ada, barely glancing up. Some young woman. Hyur. Very blonde.

She turned her attention back to her work.

“Say, I hope you don’t mind me asking… but what is it that you’re studying?”

“Mathematics.”

Ada resisted the urge to return the question, as would have been polite. The woman made an interested noise.

“You know, I’ve always wondered. I see you in here a lot.”

“I am here a lot.”

“…right. Of course.”

Social obligations surely met by now, Ada settled back into polite silence.

“It’s just-”

Fury take her.

“Uhm, well, it’s just, I was wondering… you seem very very smart, and I could use some help. I was thinking… uh, perhaps you could help me… study?”

Ada slowly looked up to see the woman rubbing the back of her head and looking down at the tabletop, smiling slightly.

“I am certain there are tutors available for just about any subject you may need help in.”

“Well, sure, but that’s not the same! And, well, lots of them are scheduled out sennights in advance. And, well, I was thinking…”

The woman’s voice trailed off towards the end of what she was saying, to the point that she was practically mumbling. Ada looked around, seeing if there was anybody nearby who could possibly be bothered.

“I understand that it is simply polite to keep your voice down in here, but there is no need to keep so quiet that I cannot hear you.”

The woman shot up in her seat and screwed up her face, and when she spoke, her words hammered out like a stampede.

“AndIAlsoThoughtThatYouLookedLikeYouCouldUseAFriend.”

She took a deep breath in, and continued, a bit slower.

But only a bit.

“And I thought I would like a friend, too,” she finished.

Ada peered at her curiously.

“Well,” she said, carefully choosing her words. “I suppose that one of the advantages of learning in a university setting is that the students are able and meant to help one another out.”

“Right! Yes. Exactly! If you help me, well, maybe I can help you, too. Like, I could buy you lunch or something.”

“I am more than capable of affording my own lunch, thank you.”

“Right. Yes. Of course.”

The woman looked crestfallen, and mentally, Ada sighed.

“But I shall commit to working with you as best as I am able, anyroad.”

The other woman’s face positively lit up, and Ada just shook her head.

“Lyse, by the way. That’s my name. I’m Lyse.”

“Ada.”

“Oh, I’m so excited! This is going to be great, just you wait and see!”

Ada was not so sure. But, well, she was just being polite for now, and her new ‘friend’ would surely grow tired of either her or her reputations soon enough.

~*~

Lyse did not grow tired of her.

They began to meet regularly in the library. Lyse sometimes asked for help with mathematics or sciences, and Ada helped as she was able. In the library, they would talk about class work, course loads, and Ada found she was helping Lyse on matters of personal management more than anything.

Ada found herself often annoyed, at first. She never expressed it, of course. To do so would be impolite. But the woman was simply an endless font of energy, nearly always moving even while sitting, with a tendency to be impulsive and brash. Ada attempted to temper the latter as much as possible.

And after they were done in the library, they would move to lunch, where Lyse would truly light up, always seeming to have something new to say. Ada was as polite as she could manage, as polite as she had learned to be. Quiet, demure, perhaps not as deferential as mother would have liked, but mother was not here right now.

However, she did know her role. Listen politely. Ask small probing questions. She had no talent for social games, but Ada had dealt with socialites and would-be heiresses in her debutante days. She was certain that any day now, Lyse would realize that Ada was no benefit to her social movement or standing, and would drift away.

But for as much as Lyse talked, she listened, and asked questions of her own. At first, Ada thought they were simply being polite at one another, but she gradually began to realize that Lyse’s interest was real. She was paying attention. An off-hand comment about an injury from sports, and Lyse showed up the next day with a soothing balm. Conversations on favorite foods, and Lyse suggested a new spot to eat the next day that was rather to Ada’s liking.

Ada found herself warming to her, and doing likewise in return. Lyse liked dance, so Ada learned about the arts she was versed in, to be able to speak to them more intelligently. Lyse could be disorganized, but a new notebook later and Ada was able to remind her of important things she needed to tend to.

Simply favors exchanged for favors owed, of course.

But sometimes it was not just one side for the other. What was meant to be a light comment on a naturalist expedition they read about in one of the periodicals resulted in a dramatic shift in their activities in the library as the subject drew both their interest, in slightly different directions.

The library turned out to be a great source of news, as the great age of exploration launched in the wake of war. They spent many an hour in the library, poring over articles describing naturalists and explorers as they swept the world, discovering cultures, peoples, animals, lands, and more. Lyse read excitedly of the latest explorers while Ada indulged in the discoveries they made.

“Cor, Ada, all these adventures, all this excitement, all these peoples being met! And not in the name of conquest, but in the name of cooperation. I dare to think this may be the beginning of a new era of peace.”

“Indeed,” said Ada. “It is almost as though our civilization is growing up.”

“Huh,” said Lyse thoughtfully, and then they spent many hours talking about just that. And both were definitely excited to continue to read about it. Diving bells exploring the ocean, sailing ships returning from distant shores. An expedition to the far south, to explore the pole. Journeys to the far East and far West, and more. A new era of peace and understanding, that was Lyse’s position.

Ada gave more thought to what it might be like to explore those frontiers. She liked to imagine herself doing such things, and began to take on studies that might help her with that goal. Lyse, as well, shifted, beginning to make new connections with like minded individuals, arranging social meetings and expanding her arts, such as they were.

The semester ended, but at the beginning of the next one, they continued their traditions. Studying together in the library, and sharing lunch right after. Lyse began to expand her social circle, meeting new people and making new friends, but she always made time for Ada, even beginning to show interest in matters outside of their study sessions.

As did Ada herself. She knew Lyse’s dancing and demonstrations were important to her. She was part of one of the performing troupes on the campus, putting on shows. Ambassadors of peace, Lyse described them as. Telling the story they wanted to show the world, through theater, dance, showing off as many cultures as they knew about and could learn about. A dazzling show for a campus eager to learn of the worlds they were reading about from the explorers that were meeting the world where it was.

Lyse spoke much of it, and it was clear it was important work for her. And so Ada, without telling her, made a point to go see one of the shows.

It was magnificent. She had known Lyse had a physicality to her, it was obvious just looking at the woman, she had a build that spoke to a high level of athleticism. But watching her perform was something else entirely. They were putting on an adaptation of a show from the Far East, about the first meeting between two of the cultures from there. Each of the cultures shared their stories, visited one another, and when it came to teaching each other their sports, Lyse featured prominently on the stage. She was grace, and she was power, and she was incredible.

As the show ended and the performers took their bows, Ada thought for a moment that Lyse spotted her in the crowd. She did not draw attention to herself, however. This was Lyse’s night, Lyse’s performance, and Ada did not wish to be a distraction. So when the group began to break out and the crowd began to leave, Ada was quick to make her way out.

She was only a little bit down the street when she heard her name called out, and turned to see Lyse running to catch up to her.

“You came!” she said, breathlessly, as she caught up to her.

“I thought you would stay with the group and help them with break down,” said Ada.

“I asked if it was alright that I left it to them. Don’t you worry, they told me to go. I’m glad you came.”

“I am glad as well,” said Ada.

They walked along quietly for a bit.

“So… what did you think?” asked Lyse.

“I am hardly an art critic, Lyse.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not asking for professional criticism then, isn’t it?”

“Well,” said Ada. “You were rather a better performer than I would have guessed.”

Lyse held a hand to her chest and staggered. “Oi, such backhanded praise!”

“What?” said Ada. “That is not what I - I mean - what I meant was, uhm. Uhm. Well.”

Lyse laughed, and Ada sighed, squeezing her nose.

“No, you are right, I do not know why I said such a horrid thing. Your group was… very engaging. And you are, you were, a delight to watch. I hope you will do more.”

“Oh, I certainly intend to,” said Lyse, clasping her hands behind her back and leaning forward to look at Ada. “Seriously though, thank you for coming to see me.”

“Think nothing of it.”

They walked along quietly for a few moments, Lyse with a spring in her step, and Ada looking up at the skies wondering why Lyse was friends with someone so daft.

“You know,” said Lyse. “I thought when I first saw you that you looked kind of sad and lonely.”

Ada just raised an eyebrow at her, and Lyse smiled, sunny and beaming.

“But I know better now. You just like to lose yourself in your books, exploring your own sort of inner world.”

“We cannot all be such bright social butterflies as yourself, Lyse,” said Ada, and Lyse laughed.

“You’ve been helping me with my studies all this time! Maybe I can help you be more sociable.”

Ada looked at Lyse, considering. She was not sure she was very interested.

“You have more than repaid my assistance,” said Ada. “I do not think you thought of how much I would be eating when you offered to buy me lunches.”

“You pay more than half the time, don’t think I haven’t noticed! And I enjoy your company, so that’s hardly anything.”

Ada reconsidered. Mother had tried to impress upon her, often, the importance of making friends, establishing connections, and developing some measure of influence.

And she was a Fairlight.

“Well,” she said, “I am willing to try.”

“Cor! That’s great! Here, let’s try this on. Go ahead and stand up straight, and give me a big ol’ smile, let me see what I’m working with.”

Ada did as she was told. Right. Smile. Tight lips. Squint a bit, but not too much. Or was it show teeth? Which was more ladylike?

Lyse made a face. “Well, let’s work on that a bit, shall we?”

They both continued to chat, as they walked home. And the next time they met at study, Lyse had brought notes and cards for Ada to review. Ada continued to help Lyse with matters of science and maths, and Lyse spent many long hours helping Ada, working on the little unspoken social rules that she admittedly had trouble with.

In this, Ada had to admit, Lyse was a much better student than she was.

Politeness was the angle they ultimately worked on. Etiquette had rules, and Ada was already very polite. Lyse nudged her into exploring that further, and Ada took to it readily.

“You know,” said Lyse one day. “You came to see my performance, but I’ve never gone to see you at anything.”

“I do not think you would find the mathematics gymnasium of any great interest.”

Lyse squinted her nose and frowned up at Ada. “That sounds like a nonsense thing, but you say it in such a straightforward manner I almost believe you.”

Ada looked flatly at Lyse for a moment, and then winked, and Lyse threw her hands up in the air.

“Cor, and I thought you were unreadable before, you’re almost inscrutable now! I never should have taught you how to do that!”

Ada laughed at that. It was true, Lyse had managed to turn one of her weaknesses into a strength. Ada was bad at forcing facial expressions, but had a good neutral face, it turned out. Just needed some work, Lyse had felt, and they had worked on it.

Lyse thought it might be why few people were willing to approach Ada. Ada was of the opinion that it was just because she was generally unlikable, but had never pressed the point.

“Alright, be fair now, Ada. Wait! You’re in some sports, right? Tell me about that.”

“Well,” said Ada reluctantly. “I do play rugby.”

Lyse lit up at that, and sure enough, at the next meetup, she was there. She introduced Ada to a friend of hers afterwards, and the two exchanged niceties. He was in fencing, and Ada expressed she had long had an interest in such.

The semester break came, and with it, Ada went home.

“You certainly seem to be enjoying yourself at university,” her mother commented. “Good. The family is increasing our investment in some industrial and shipping concerns, and I would have you help with our business in such.”

Her brother was weaker, but still warm and kind with her. She spent as much time with him as she was able when he was lucid, silently vowing to find a way to help with his condition.

And then, the next semester began. This time, with Ada on the fencing team, and Lyse cheering her on.

Lyse’s social circles and influences continued to expand. She began to invite Ada to more and more events, and Ada went, of course. Lyse came to her matches, it was literally the least she could do. Favor for favor, support for support. And, Lyse opined, it was a good opportunity to test Ada’s social skills. And so after performances or during parties, Lyse would always bring Ada around to talk to people. She was kind and exuberant and excited as she introduced Ada to people, always introducing her as being far smarter and far more interesting than Ada thought she was.

For her part, Ada tried to play along. Ever polite. Downplaying her own part in conversations, while trying to lift Lyse up. Being supportive. Being as kind as Lyse was. Trying to keep up what she saw as her end of the bargain.

And their study sessions continued, too, as well as their lunches together. However, more and more often, Lyse was inviting others to lunches. At first, Ada did not mind. It was just lunch, after all. However, as she met more and more people she did not know, she found it increasingly uncomfortable.

But of course, it was good for Lyse, good for her to form relationships, to improve her social cachet.

Ada began to make excuses at the end of their study sessions as to why she could not make it to lunch so often. It did not matter. Lyse had found her people, and Ada was happy for her.

“Ada,” said Lyse one day, after Ada had begged out of another luncheon. “I notice you don’t come to lunch nearly so often.”

“I make my own arrangements,” said Ada. “And I do have other studies I need to get to. I am in the upper classes, now, and need to begin to prepare for my final study.”

“Hmn. Just so, I sort of miss our lunches,” said Lyse, thoughtfully. “Say, here’s a thought. How about we go out today? Just you and me. It’ll be like old times.”

“What of your friends?”

“They’ll understand.”

Lyse reached a hand out, and just put it on the table, palm up.

Ada looked at it for a long moment, then reached out, despite herself.

“Okay,” she said.

And as she clasped Lyse’s hand, she felt not the usual twinge of discomfort she felt when touching someone else, but something else instead. Warmth, searing warmth, a heat that seemed to travel up her arm.

And when Lyse smiled, oh, that warmth was coming from a sun.

“Great!” said Lyse, pulling Ada to her feet, and Ada followed.

“I notice,” Lyse said, some time later, “You seem uncomfortable with new people.”

Ada just shrugged, continuing to eat her sandwich.

“Maybe we should just agree to meet like this at least once a week. Just lunch, with just you and me.”

“You do not have to.”

“I - I want to. I said I miss this, didn’t I? And I do. You’re my first and dearest friend here. And I like it when I’m with you. When you’re all quiet and thoughtful.”

“I like this, too,” said Ada quietly.

“It’s all the people, isn’t it?”

“A… little bit. I am sorry, I do not mean to be a bother, but it can be a bit much.”

“Gods, Ada. You are not a bother. I don’t even think I need to tell you that. You’ve been a big help since the moment I first met you, and you’ve been really very kind, so don’t try to be all modest. I like you, alright?”

Ada just nodded.

“You know,” Lyse said, after letting a companionable silence pass, “I always had hoped I was doing you as much of a favor as you were me. Taking you to performances, introducing you to people at soirees. But if that’s too much for you, you don’t have to do it, you know.”

Ada considered. It was bad enough that Lyse was proposing giving up her lunches for her. And Lyse was right. It was a favor. Ada had met people through Lyse, made a few friends, had managed some small exchanges of favors of her own. A helping hand here and there usually returned to her in some manner. Her position on the fencing team, for one.

And Lyse was always so happy when Ada was around, happy to bring her around, happy bringing her to talk with others.

Well. Favor for a favor, then. Lyse was helping her. She would continue to help Lyse.

“I do not mind,” said Ada. “I am perhaps better with large crowds. Easier to, ah, blend in, I think.”

Lyse studied her face carefully, and Ada was careful to reveal nothing.

“Well, so long as you’re sure,” she said.

Ada was sure. And afterwards, she was better able to schedule her time. Some lunches with Lyse, the rest for more studying.

It was nice, she had to admit.

Lyse continued to have more events, and Ada increased her efforts to put in a good showing at them.

Efforts that, apparently, did not go unnoticed.

Ada was deep in a medical text book in the library. One of the days that Lyse was having lunch with her other friends, when someone came up to her table across from her.

“Captain Fairlight,” the man said, stiffly.

Ada looked up at him. She did not recognize him. Elezen, like herself. Small face, small eyes, dark skin, dark hair.

“Formerly,” she said. “I would think it quite rude for anyone to use their rank after they have separated from the service.”

The man leaned on the table, glaring at her as he did so.

“I’m certain you want others to think so. Or perhaps you think yourself so able to escape your history?”

Ada looked at him, blankly, then turned her attention back to his hand. He was rather closer than politeness should have allowed.

“I have made no secret of who or what I am.”

“Oh? And does the Princess of Ala Mhigo know she hangs out with a disgrace?”

Ada wondered how much trouble she would be in if she pinned his hand to the table using her stylus.

“Do not be ridiculous. Ala Mhigo has not had a monarchy since their civil war. And I am certain the Mad King left no heirs for so much as a courtesy title.”

“You know who I am talking about.”

Ada was bewildered. “I am certain I do not. And pardon me, but who are you, anyroad?”

The man just snorted, and turned away. “Someone who knows Colonel Mirkasch. I wonder if he knows what you’re trying. Watch your station, Captain, and watch yourself.”

Ada just stared at his back as he walked away.

“What the bloody hell was that all about?” she wondered aloud.

She brought up the bizarre interaction with Lyse the next time they had lunch, and Lyse just sighed and shook her head as she listened.

“Oh, gods, Ada,” she said when she was finished. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault, I think.”

“I do not see how,” said Ada.

“He was talking about me,” said Lyse.

Ada frowned, looking at Lyse.

“…you are no princess,” she said, slowly, and Lyse laughed.

“Cor, of course I’m not! And nobody around here would call me that, anyroad. But, back home, my family does have a bit of a reputation.”

Ada thought about it for a moment.

“If you wish to tell me, I will listen. But if you wish me to leave it alone, I will. I know who you are, Lyse. That is enough for me.”

“That’s very kind of you,” said Lyse.

After a moment, she offered her hand, palm up. And Ada reached out, and clasped it.

“My family’s been involved in Ala Mhigo politics in one way or another since the Mad War,” said Lyse. “Most recently, my father, Curtis, was part of the group that helped get them back on their feet properly. And my sister, she worked with Louisoix.”

“Wait, Louisoix?” said Ada. “The famous naturalist Louisoix? Ambassador for peace Louisoix, the one who disappeared a few summers ago?”

“That one, yes.”

“And your sister?”

Lyse sighed. “Died during the more recent war, I’m afraid.”

“Oh,” said Ada. “My condolences. I should not have asked.”

“You didn’t know. I should’ve told you, though.”

“Wait. If she worked with Louisoix…” Ada thought about Lyse’s work, the themes of her performances, her ideals that she followed. “Ambassador for peace. … I am a little embarrassed that I did not put it all together before now.”

Lyse smiled at her, and reached forward to hold Ada’s hand in both of hers.

“I didn’t want to scare you off. Here, at university, in a foreign nation, I had a chance to be a nobody for a little bit. And it worked there for a while, didn’t it? I mean, smart as you are, you didn’t know who I was. But now you do. And the work that I do - I like to think I’m doing it, at least a little bit, for her. For my sister. But also I’m doing it for myself. We all do.”

“We?”

“I stay in touch with some of her comrades. Most of them have travelled across the ocean to the west - they seem to think there’s some kind of hulaboo that might be happening over there or something. I don’t know about all that, but I know my work is here. And I think I’d like to keep doing it.”

Lyse rubbed the back of Ada’s hand, just staring at the table. “So now you know. Yes, I’m known as the Princess of Ala Mhigo. I’m not a real princess, of course. But I’m becoming better known through my work. And our message is getting out there, and the troupe’s becoming more of a thing. Probably spend my last few semesters here traveling as my thesis of sorts. Spreading our message and showing people how we can be better.”

She took a deep breath in, and let it out slow. She continued to hold on to Ada’s hand.

“I understand if this is all a bit much for you. Look, I promise, I’m not so important as all that. I mean, I’m not naive, I know names mean something, and I know that social rank is so important to your people, but really, I… am just Lyse Hext, university student. Doing my best. I promise.”

Lyse looked sad, more than anything. Which made no sense.

“I know,” said Ada. “For what it is worth, I am sorry as well. The man was right on one matter. I am Ada Fairlight. Former Captain Fairlight.”

She took a deep breath in, and she told Lyse the story. Of the ship she was on, of what it was like to be an engineer. Of the accident that damaged the ship badly, killed several, injured many. Of the investigation she did afterwards. Her findings. Bypassing the chain of command to report said findings. The trial afterwards. How, even though she continued to serve, it was effectively the end of her career.

And she even told Lyse things she did not mean to tell her. About how her brother got injured in the accident. How even now, he had not recovered, and probably never would. Of how she had felt that day. Of how she had not really felt since that day.

Lyse listened, sympathetic, until the story was done and Ada was just staring at the table. She raised a hand to her eyes, and wiped away the wet that was there.

“I am sorry,” said Ada, hoarsely. “None of that is any burden of yours. And I should be no burden of yours, either.”

“Ada, why?” said Lyse. “Why do you say such things?”

“I am a pariah among my own people,” said Ada. “And you have so much you wish to accomplish. That man. That man, whoever he was. He was right. I will hold you back.”

“I don’t care,” said Lyse, heatedly.

Ada was just silent.

“I don’t care,” Lyse repeated, louder. She reached her hands up, to almost touch Ada’s face, but hesitated, stopping just shy. And across that small gap, Ada could feel the warmth coming off of Lyse, the heat of her hands.

She leaned forward, and oh, that touch.

And now she was crying. Unwinding. Too much history. Too much time. Too many feelings, and they were all big, and overwhelming, and Ada was suddenly very very tired and wanted to go home and go to sleep, but she was crying, and she was in Lyse’s arms, and Lyse was just holding her.

“I have to say, none of this quite makes sense to me,” said Lyse. “But I don’t care about any of that. So what if you’re a - a what you said. A pariah. I don’t care about your military, I don’t care about what you did. You did - you did the right thing. And you know what? If this Colonel wants to hold a grudge and make trouble for you, why, I’ll make trouble for him right back.”

“You should not,” said Ada between sniffles.

“I will! Don’t think I won’t.”

Lyse’s hands were in her hair, soothing, warm. Lyse’s body was against hers, holding her, hot as a summer day. Searing into her. Ada used that, to anchor herself, to focus. To fight through the warmth. To find herself. To wrestle herself back under control. To stop this embarrassing display.

To be who Lyse needed her to be.

She stopped crying at last, and weakly returned Lyse’s embrace, before pushing her away, gently. Lyse let go, and Ada sat up, pulling out a handkerchief and cleaning herself up.

“It’ll be alright, you’ll see,” said Lyse. “Just… maybe you’re Captain Fairlight, sure. But to me, you’re just Ada Fairlight. And I can be just Lyse Hext. And we can each just be ourselves. Alright?”

Ada nodded. “…alright.”

She was so tired.

“…and I love you,” said Lyse.

Ada looked over at her. And after a moment, she reached out a hand towards her, and when Lyse took it, she squeezed.

Warmth like sunlight traveling up her arm.

“I love you too,” said Ada.

When the next semester break arrived, Ada sent home nothing but letters. She stayed on campus, sharing a dorm with Lyse. It was only a few short sennights, but the two made the most of it. There were no events to attend, no responsibilities to undertake. Just them, sharing. Sharing stories. Sharing dreams. Sharing of each other, and Ada found out that Lyse’s tongue was as warm and kind as she was, and Lyse found Ada’s curiosity capable of plumbing any depth.

Lyse was like a sun, almost too hot, almost burning to Ada, but it was kind, and it could be gentle, and it could be more. Nights spent with bodies intertwined, and it was a kindness Ada did not feel she deserved, but it was bestowed upon her anyroad. Palms pressed to flesh, fingers entwined in hair, gasps for sweet air, and that sun made its home in Ada.

And before the break ended and the beginning of the semester marked the world moving forward again, the last thing they decided to share were their futures.

It was a busier semester. They each had so many plans to make, both for each other, but also for themselves. This would be their last great works at the university. Lyse, as she had predicted, would be taking her troupe on tour. They would visit the many countries of the continent, putting on plays and displays of culture, sharing their vision as ambassadors of peace. The journey meant so much to Lyse, for it would end in Ala Mhigo, where she would make her case before her own people and the star.

Ada, for her part, finished her classwork studies and was preparing for an adventure of her own. Their time in the library had made full its impression, and she wished, at last, to follow in the wake of explorers who had gone before. She would not go anywhere that had not already been trod, for that would be too much for her first journey outside of the military. But she would tread those only recently trod paths, to the near east, and then to the far. She would be an explorer naturalist, learning of peoples, of cultures, of plants, of animals. And as she went along, she intended to continue her studies into mathematics, and other sciences she thought may point to the key of the underpinnings of the star.

Exciting and heady days for both of them. Tiring days, as well. There was so much to do. So much of Lyse’s work required her to talk to others, organize social events, and practice, so much practice. Ada had less, really only strongly feeling the need to tend to her fencing, and so she was present for Lyse as much as was physically possible. That it was tiring mattered not. Ada could put on a neutral face and be Lyse’s stoic shadow, ever present.

And Lyse was always so appreciative, anyroad, introducing Ada to everyone, and continuing to tell people in no uncertain terms that Ada was one of the greatest people in the world, smart, clever, strong, fast, and would surely one day be one of the star’s foremost scientific explorers.

It was tiring. But Ada endured.

And at semester’s end, they lamented that they could not share another lovely interlude like they had before. There was too much that needed doing. Lyse had her tour, and Ada had her expedition.

“I’ll write,” Ada said.

“You’d better,” said Lyse. “I didn’t really think it needed to be said, but you had better. If you don’t, I will track you down wherever you are, and when I catch up with you, well. I. I will be most cross.”

“Cross Lyse Hext?” mused Ada. “Why, I wonder what that would be like.”

Lyse swatted her, and Ada smiled. They walked to the train station, hand and hand, and shared one last kiss on the platform before Lyse left to other lands.

Ada stood and smiled and watched and waved.

Her mother, oddly, had approved when she had made the announcement that Lyse was courting her, and that Ada had given her hand.

“Never thought you would manage,” she had wondered. “Well. I suppose I shall make inquiries, then. Good fortune to you, my daughter.”

It had been the closest thing to praise Ada could remember in recent memory.

Her brother, as well, was enthused. He had met Lyse a few times, during the rare times he was lucid and able to be moved, making it to a play and once to their dorm.

“Lucky woman,” he had said, and been all smiles. He had new machinery to keep him company, now, and he was spending more and more time awake, even if less mobile.

Ada wondered if she could make the machinery somewhat more portable, but did not bother him with such problems. Instead she shared what time with him she could, in the days before she got busy, and embarked on her own adventure.

And what an adventure it turned out to be.

She spent time on boats and trains, steam powered machines that she was well familiar with, but it was novel not being responsible for them. She practiced what Lyse had taught her, and though she did not make friends, she did seem to have better luck at making acquaintances. She travelled far, seeing the many worlds and many lands. In the near east, she met with educated men and women, trading stories of their alchemy with lessons of her machinery. In the far East, she saw how the many cultures interacted and exchanged with each other, heard of their superstitions, learned of their ways, learned of their lands.

Wherever she went, she found not new lands to explore, but lands that already had their own explorers of a sort. She was discovering new things for herself, but the only new things overall were of mathematics and pattern. Each peoples were not new, and their lands were only new to her.

These were civilizations, in and of themself, she realized. She looked at them through Lyse’s perspective as well as her own, and she found she was able to see what many naturalist that had gone before her had missed. They were in too much of a rush to make names for themselves and headline new discoveries back at home.

She instead wrote of the wisdoms she found, building her thesis, and sending articles back to her supervisor at the university. New or not, it was all very exciting to her, and she drank the knowledge she found deeply.

And in it all, she was astounded by what she found, of herself most of all. There were no expectations on her, nobody to chaperone her. She no longer had social pressures pushing down upon her. No former military members lurking to remind her of her place and of the stain on her name. No complications of family politics. No mother whose approval she had to win.

Just Ada Fairlight, free and clear. Responsible only to herself. Trading only those favors she wanted to, and able to be free of them as soon as the trade was complete, moving on to the next place.

She wrote, of course. And Lyse wrote back. Lyse’s journey was as fulfilling for her as Ada was finding her own to be. She was so excited to be meeting so many people, spreading her message, and often helping those in need. Lyse was truly in her element, and Ada in hers, and both were better for it. Sweet sentiments were sent back and forth, and if the letters were spotty coming and going, well, that was fine. It was always a delight to make it to a way station and find a bundle waiting, with sennights of love to go over.

Otherwise, during the idle time that she had, sitting in a carriage or riding on a best of burden, Ada was able to turn her mind to those troubles as she wished. She managed schematics for a new machine, and sent a requisition request back to mother for parts from Fairlight’s budding industrial concerns. Paid with for her pension, of course. She would not spend family money on a personal matter. And she made a gift for Lyse, one, and then several.

It was an idyllic time.

Her trip turned, and she began the long trip home. And as she did, she picked up those bundles of letters that were waiting for her. Lyse had sent her news of her successes, her triumphs, and clippings from newspapers. She also sent Ada something of a surprise. Apparently, Ada’s papers were making inroads. She was not famous by any stretch, but she was showing up in journals, and at least one newspaper clipping had a lithograph of her from school, and an article about the newest up and coming exploring naturalist.

It was from the special interests section, and the back of that, but still. Ada wondered who could have possibly found her work compelling enough to write an article about it. She was not exactly traveling to the poles or exploring the so called ‘dark’ continents. Her work was precious to her, but the places she had been had already been ‘discovered’, were old news.

Lyse’s writings also began to turn to their future. Once they were done in university, she would still continue her mission of peace. She wrote of what their bonding might look like, how they would balance their passions, their interests, their lives. She wrote of the many people she wanted to introduce Ada too, and as she got closer to home, Ada got a feeling of gently increasing, well, something. Concern. Fear? She was not sure.

Ada had been by Lyse’s side for summers, now. Keeping up with Lyse’s social obligations. Meeting so many people from so many places. She had been glad to do it, but she had found it tiring. And after a few moons of not having to do it, she realized she had been relieved to not have to keep up with it anymore.

She was not sure she could keep it up again. She felt uncertain, as she got off the ship. Well, she had time. Lyse would still be gone, as her work would take another full semester, and Ada could take the time to write up final reports and finish her thesis.

And give her brother a gift.

Her mother was as warm as she had ever been, greeting her with a carriage in port. Curious, but Ada did not think overmuch on it as they began to head home.

“Daughter, I must confess, when you told me you were betrothed, I was simply glad you were making something of yourself. But the more I find out about this Hext woman, the more I must say, I am intrigued.”

Ada stared out the window watching the streets go by. “Intrigued how, mother.”

“Well, her little organization is doing much for the realm. To add your name to hers will bolster both, I believe. I have had our people talking with hers. Your wedding shall be the talk of us all, I think. Ambassador for Peace Hext, next to the renowned naturalist Lady Fairlight.”

Ada felt something in her chest seize. Outwardly calm, she turned to her mother.

“Whatever do you mean, mother?”

“Well. Do not worry yourself overmuch about it. We can talk more when your father returns from his business trip. But we simply must seize this opportunity. You will be traveling with Lady Hext, I assume?”

Ada’s voice was distant. “We both still have work to do to finish at university before the bonding ceremony. And then after, well, she has her work, and I intended to continue my own. That is a discussion we have yet to have in full, but we have thought about it.”

Ada’s mother waved a hand dismissively. “Yes, yes, of course, of course. Well, with the resources we will have at our disposal, your name shall rise. It shan’t be necessary for you to go out on your own anymore, of course. Why, with your reputation, we can simply sponsor others to go and do that exploring, while you help Lady Hext with her all important work. Her star is rising, and yours shall rise with it. It will certainly be enough to erase any tales of your time in the service.”

“Yes, of course, mother,” said Ada.

She was not sure she was even in the carriage anymore.Fears she had not known she had harbored were rising up within her. She had assumed her mother would be satisfied that she was out of the way and would leave her to her own devices. Lyse could be just Lyse, and she would just be Ada.

Now it was Lady Hext and Lady Fairlight. Now it seemed the fate of the family was riding on what she chose to do, or not to do.

They arrived home, and Ada drifted through the house, lost.

Well, there was one thing she was certain about, and she anchored on it, heading to Alastor’s room.

She found him, lucid, sitting by the window. He had been watching, waiting for her to come home.

“Hey, bigger sister,” he said easily. “Star explorer and fancy naturalist.”

She smiled softly at him. “I brought something back for you,” she said.

“You brought yourself.”

“I brought something else back for you. I worked on it while I travelled. I’d like you to try it on.”

“Sure, of course, of course,” he said, and she stepped smartly over to him. She had created a small machine, to replace the many big ones that kept him from leaving the room as often as he would like. Even now, he was pulling down gas from a tube. She fitted the device to his waist.

“Huh. Ugly. I’ll never find a shirt to match it.”

“Hush.”

He watched her. “Nervous?”

“A little bit. I have tested it, of course, but I am not the patient in question.”

He shook his head. “Not about this. I can see the tendons in your shoulders. Something has you wound up.”

She shook her head, not wanting to talk about it. “Bonding nerves,” she said, which was accurate enough. “Here, try this.”

The machine strapped to his waist, she thumbed it on, and took a tube off of it, and offered it to him. It was bent at the top, and connected to the machine. He took the tube, and looked at it curiously.

“Breathe,” she said, and he nodded. He put the mouthpiece at the end of the tube in his mouth, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath in. And then he wheezed, and began coughing.

“Sorry! I should have said something. It will take some getting used to, but-”

Alastor waved her off, as he took several deep breaths before taking another pull off the machine. His eyes widened, and he held a hand to his chest.

“…sure takes the edge off,” he said. “It does not feel like there are rocks in my chest anymore. I can… I can…” he took another deep breath in, and winced immediately.

“Do not push yourself too hard, too fast,” admonished Ada. “I will leave you instructions for the machine. It will require certain chemistries to do its job, but… it has an analgesic and some restorative compounds. It cannot fix your lungs…”

“But it’ll let me get out and about,” finished Alastor. He looked to Ada. “My gods, Ada. You’re a wonder.”

Ada gave him a small smile. “I had a lot of time on my hands.”

Alastor nodded, taking several more deep breaths, and huffing another draw off the device.

“Do not overuse it,” she cautioned. “Too much may drive your lungs numb, and you could hurt yourself worse.”

“Right. Of course,” he said. “…thank you again. Well.”

He stood up. “I was going to wait, but such a tremendous gift should be given one in return. Stay here.”

Ada looked as he managed to struggle to his feet. Well. Of course he was weak. But now that he had more mobile methods of helping him breathe, in a couple of years, well.

She had high hopes.

He returned, giving her a grin. “I have had a lot of time on my hands, too. Plenty of time to do things like explore that disaster that is our attic. And, well, I was going to wait until you’d been home a while longer, but while we’re exchanging gifts… here.”

He held out a box to her that she did not recognise. She frowned at it. It was a pretty thing, gold, with runes inlaid on it, and a glass window on the top.

And though she did not recognize the box, she gasped as she recognized what was in it.

“I can’t get it open,” said Alastor. “But I recognized what was in it, and I thought, well, maybe you could wear it to your bonding ceremony.”

Ada looked up at Alastor, tears in her eyes. Inside the box was a beautiful amulet, and in that amulet was set a rather large amethyst.

He sat down again, and grinned at her.

“Mother took this away from me when I was so very young,” Ada whispered.

Alastor nodded. “I remember. Part of why I recognized it when I saw it. You kicked up such a fuss when she took it from you. I don’t rightly remember why, but you were devastated. That thing meant the world to you.”

Ada cradled the box in her hands. She tried to open it, but it resisted. That was fine. A problem for later. For now, her precious childhood amulet was back in her hands.

She couldn’t even remember why her mother had taken it. She had almost forgotten about it. But now that it was back in her hands, the memories were coming back, faded on the edges, but strong for all that.

And her mother had forgotten it in the attic. Lost and gone.

Ada became dimly aware of how strongly she was gripping the box. Should have been enough to crush it.

“She had no right,” she whispered.

Alastor sat back in his chair, and closed his eyes. “Well, and when I found it, I remembered how much it had meant to you. And I figured, well, maybe you could wear it to your bonding ceremony. Let mother know you’re your own person now. After all, she wouldn’t’ dare say anything about it during the most important day of your life.”

Ada stared at it.

Just another thing that had been dictated to her.

Her life, in a box.

Something in her slipped, and released. Alastor must have noticed, because he grinned at her.

“Hey, look at that, I helped,” he joked.

“Thank you, Alastor,” she said. She swallowed. “I will… I will send you further instructions for the machine later. How to maintain it, how to fill it. I find… I must go and make a great many arrangements.”

“I know, I know, Ada’s off to see the star,” he said, grinning and closing his eyes with a wave of his hands. “Welcome back, bigger sister. And thanks for thinking of your brother.”

Ada stopped at the door, and turned and smiled at him. “Always,” she said.

The next few sennights saw the Fairlight residence always in motion. There were arrangements to be made, letters to be written, things to buy, people to talk to, and Ada was always at the forefront of it, making inquiries, helping as she was able. The house servants found her distant, but her mother found her dutiful enough. She turned her work over completely to the university, and made plans for one last journey.

Her mother had protested, but Ada indicated it would be a short one. Just one last journey, she had said, before the bonding ceremony and inevitable shared futures. Seeing has she had seemingly settled into a routine of seeming to focus entirely on her future, and was otherwise of sound planning, her mother had relented.

Other than that, her mother had no complaints. Her brother had suspicions, but he kept them to himself.

And Lyse’s letters continued to come in. Ada wrote less often, however. Though her room’s wastebasket was full of correspondence she never sent.

Finally, the time came for her final journey. She burned the papers in her wastebasket, tidied her desk, and set her place in the family house to be absolutely pristine, a final preparation. She packed her tools and her things in her bags, and was on her way.

One last letter was sent to Lyse. It contained a gift, and a few simple words.

Dearest Lyse,

I love you.

I cannot stay.

And then after that, Ada Fairlight ceased to exist.

~*~

A woman stood on the platform as behind her, the train left, to continue on to its next destination. She adjusted her glasses, squinting against the dust and the wind.

It had taken her many moons to make it this far. Travel was often perilous. She had learned much about herself in the intervening time, and had learned enough of the lands she meant to arrive at.

And now she was finally here.

She touched a hand to the amulet around her neck, a beautiful thing, with a lovely amethyst secured in its housing.

It felt to her like freedom. Freed of the box it had been in.

The young Ada Fairlight had grown up.

Debutante Fairlight had failed to secure a courtship, and joined the military.

Captain Fairlight had ended their career.

Graduate Ada Fairlight had left for the world.

Naturalist Ada Fairlight had gotten lost in the wilds.

None of those women were here now. None of them needed to be here now. She had learned much, and gone far, and now, at last, she was free.

She was free to make and reject favors as she liked. To ignore any responsibilities she did not wish to undertake. To make something of herself in this land, so far away from the familiar.

The train had left and was gone, and she found her way to borrow one of the local beasts of burden, a rroneek. The man who handled the animals looked her over warily, but was more than happy to handle her custom.

“Where you goin’?” he asked, as he helped her with the animal.

“Stonewood,” the woman said. “And when I arrive there, do you perhaps know where I might go for information?”

He scratched his head, thinking. “Well, I might try Miss F’lhaminn’s cabar-” he began, but then he looked up at her, and was startled to see that she had fixed him with a big grin that had entirely too many teeth and looked entirely too dangerous.

“Uhm, actually, I think you should try around at the Saltlick,” he said quickly. “Ask after the proprietor, she’ll steer you right enough.”

“Thank you,” the woman said, as she climbed up onto the rroneek.

Well, that would be a fine start, she considered. A new start for a new woman.

A new woman with a new name. One she had given much consideration. And now that she was here, there was little attaching her to who she was or where she had come from. Her train ticket had not even had a name on it, just a seat number.

She was satisfied.

And so, free, Zoissette Vauban spurred herself forward, to settle in to Stonewood.

[canyoufucksoniccharacters]

I am DEEPLY sorry about making you dive down this rat’s nest of a lore hole, but I’m back with another question that should be cleared up: Can You Fuck Shadow the Hedgehog?

I have a feeling this is gonna get complicated real fast…

I've had this one in mind for a while, so this shouldn't be all that hard to write.

CAN YOU FUCK: SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG?

...

YOU FELL FOR IT! YOU ALL FELL FOR IT!

To any reasonable person, Shadow should have been included in the Sonic post, alongside Surge, Mighty, etc. But you want to know why I didn't? Because if I did, it wouldn't give me the proper opportunity to rant about something.

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS NOT 50 YEARS OLD. HE NEVER WAS, HE NEVER HAS BEEN, AND HE WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE.

This is a misconception that has permeated through the fanbase for Chaos knows how long, being repeated over and over and over again, ad nauseam.

Why do people even say this? Well, Project Shadow started 50 years before the event of Sonic Adventure 2. Which means Shadow's creation happened 50 years ago.

So, people take this as "Oh, Shadow was created 50 years ago, this must mean he's 50 years old!"

DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD "STASIS" MEANS.

During Sonic Adventure 2, Eggman breaks into a military base to unleash a "top secret military weapon" for his plans. This weapon, is, of course, shadow. The screenshot above is from the scene where Shadow is released.

What does this look like those particles are? What do they look like to you? Usually, thick white air particles like these are a result of the use of cold to pause biological processes. On top of that, the shot right before it displays the object atop the machinery pretty well, although with some distance.

This is a pod. Like, this is very obviously a pod. Shadow is even standing on top of it once he's revealed.

And what does he say when he's revealed?

Note how he says "Awakening". This is taken from a re-translation of the Japanese script, since the official translation makes him refer to being released as opposed to being awakened. Remember, translations for these games in this era were... Less than stellar.

(seriously, don't go there yet? to the guy telling you he shouldn't have ever been born? like maybe you're right maybe you shouldn't have been born but we don't know enough to say that for sure. ok, buddy)

So, yeah, Shadow isn't 50. I've been saving this for a standalone post, because it is baffling to me how people still keep spouting that "Fact" over and over, even though it makes no sense. He was frozen. He didn't develop mentally or physically. I'm not a Marvel fan by any means, but this is like if you added 66 years to Captain America's age because that's how long he was frozen. For these characters, if you just knocked them unconscious and then sent them to the future, it literally would not make even a bit of a difference.

He's not 50. Moving on.

Oh yeah, uh. That whole immortality thing.

(Source: Japanese dub, translated.)

Here and there, official material will mention Shadow as being "Immortal" or "Ageless". While never stated in the 2005 game, it makes complete sense, as Shadow was made with Black Doom's own genetic material. Black Doom is immortal, Black Doom's genes are in Shadow, thus, Shadow cannot die of old age.

There is, however, no implication that he does not mentally mature. In fact, it would make sense for him to start out quite young to then become more mature as time goes on, since part of the reason he was made was to accompany Maria, in a sibling-like relationship. Although it's unlikely that the Sonic Channel artwork is canon, most of it at least, it does convey a situation akin to this, which would be horribly out of character otherwise.

Look at em! They're doing their homework together! And then a few years later, after Maria's death...

Look at him! Using a minigun for the first time!

His maturity in SA2 also seems just about on par with Sonic's, so it's safe to assume that when that game happened, they were about even in terms of mental development. In general, Shadow is a Sonic counterpart. A very, very close counterpart.

... Very... Very... Ah screw it, let's just bite the bullet.

This happened! An entire Bumblekast episode dedicated to Sonic, Shadow, and mostly Sonadow. It's pretty recent, too! From 8 months ago! In fact, it was made for Pride Month 2023; after Frontiers released. So, Ian Flynn by then became not just a comic writer, but a writer for the games.

I'm not saying Sonadow is canon, obviously, but if the current writer of the games is willing to entertain it for an entire episode and even go as far as saying it's actually really easy to make happen and you don't need to do too much work for it to happen, then it's probably safe to assume the characters are on even ground in terms of maturity.

So, if Shadow can hypothetically, in a fully canon-compatible way, make out with Sonic, and Sonic is fuckable, then Shadow is, by extension, fuckable.

Honestly this is entirely longer than necessary. I could have brought this one up earlier and saved myself the work. Where's the fun in that, though?

Either way, verdict is;

You can, in fact, fuck Shadow The Hedgehog.

[xviistrings]

I feel like fanning some flames today.... Why do you hate N_oto (a) I'm rly curious ,':^

i would like to answer this calmly and rationally. i would really like to. but i'm going to be angry (and will use they/them for naoto)

naoto is a shit character no matter what angle you view them from. a major aspect of their story is struggling with being taken seriously in their line of work because they are both a child and female; the gender aspect is especially relevant to naoto, since the child thing is kind of just a problem that solves itself........

naoto's gender is a widely debated topic among fans. some people see them as a trans man because of naoto's desire to be viewed as a man, some see them as a cis woman because that's just the conclusion they come to at the end, some see them as a trans woman because it feels like naoto is forcing themselves to go back in the closet but they can't fight their true feelings, some see them as nonbinary because they don't want to be a woman but they also show discomfort being a man....

yeah i've heard every single argument for every single kind of different gender identity naoto could have and i've concluded that no matter what angle you look at it from, naoto is still a shit character.

this isn't to invalidate anyones headcanons, idc do what you want forever, but naoto WAS meant to be written as a cis girl. but they did such a shit job at writing them as such that believing they're otherwise is so so understandable

naoto is apparently supposed to have internalized misogyny. we never even see a hint of that like we do with everyone else. we see chie be pushy about getting the mc's opinion on yukiko because of her jealousy towards her, we see yukiko being very gloomy when she's busy with the inn, etc i don't wanna list everything it's late rn

naoto's screen time is mostly spent on them just kinda. detectiving around. that's not bad and it's a very proper introduction, it's just that.......... there are scenes where naoto hangs around the entire investigation team, including the girls. if their hatred is so internalized to the point where its affected their outward appearance, is it that much of a stretch to say that they'd also project their hatred outwards?

like. yk. being rude to the girls and not accepting their input on discussions. that would've been an interesting trait to introduce to this supposedly respectable and polite smart detective guy. and later on, when we discover the source of that behaviour, it makes a lot more sense than it just suddenly being thrust on us.

plus, it would give them a flaw for them to overcome via apologizing to the girls and attempting to engage in femininity in a healthy and positive way. it doesn't have to be that long of an arc, i know there was very little time between naoto's dungeon and the namatame stuff, but it really could have been as simple as a scene or two of naoto bonding with the girls, changes to preexisting ones (COUGH COUGH BEAUTY PAGEANT), and then their social link deals with the rest.

like. dude.

i get what they were trying to go for, honestly, but i just wish they handled it better. if a lot of persona 4's jokes weren't outlandishly sexist and at the expense of the girls, maybe i could absolutely get on board with a lovely story about a girl recovering from a life of self hatred and insecurity and learning that she doesn't need to have a stick up her ass all the time, and that she has a whole group of friends that will accept her for who she is beyond gender, beyond age, beyond any other labels and the expectations placed on her because of them. that would be really really nice if we had that.

but we do not. i don't think naoto really feels like part of the friend group most of the time. it's kind of the same problem haru has where she's introduced very late and not given nearly enough time to develop before we get right into the final arc of the story. naoto helps with the investigations, sure, but otherwise naoto doesn't really get to be in too much of the team bonding moments. maybe that's an issue that gets fixed in golden? idk? i only played vanilla

the thing that really pisses me off about naoto is not just that they're underdeveloped; i love a lot of underdeveloped characters and i like exploring their potential. it's that the main element of naoto's story is handled so clumsily that it makes me wonder what the fuck they were trying to say in the first place!!!!

naoto doesn't want to pretend to be a man anymore and they want to be a woman. so here are several scenes of them being visibly uncomfortable when experiencing womanhood. naoto doesn't want to follow any gender norms and just wants to be themselves before a label. so let's have one of the flags for their romance route be a dialogue option saying you'd only like them if they were feminine. what are you doing guys

i'm rewriting naoto in my head all the time . i've seen a billion tboy naotos but i think i can do cis girl naoto justice. and i will do it because without this naoto will just piss me off forever and ever and ever. ugh

[leiflitter]

about our saltburn boys, idk in what universe/timeline but i'd like to hear about their first proper date from you 🖤

So I am doing a minor bend on this prompt because at this point it's always the YAH!canon but look. Can you blame me? And if you want to read their INTERRUPTED first actual romantic date in YAHcanon, then behold:

Also, to the assorted Saltburnites out there... Feel free to send me art prompts, ficlet prompts, headcanon prompts, YAH questions... Whatever you want, I love answering em!

OXFORD, 2007.

Felix had a suspicion. It was one of those little niggly ones that you couldn't quite put your finger squarely on; a hunch, that was the word, and he'd been tossing it around in his head for long enough to want to act on it.

Oliver was, clearly, inexperienced.

It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Olls had clearly spent too much time studying, and had neglected his social education. Felix couldn't blame him- after all the stories about his parents, Ollie not being a Casanova was pretty much par for the course. If he had gotten a girlfriend back up in Liverpool, then where could he have taken her? Welcome to my house, it's full of rats and used needles would send any decent lass running in the opposite direction.

Ollie probably needed a girlfriend, too, just for a little bit. It'd be a learning experience. Even better, he and Oliver could go on double-dates with whoever his flavour of the week was. Felix's code of ethics regarding relationships was fairly... Lackadaisical, true, but he had morals. So, yes, he'd shag a girl and be her boyfriend until she got boring, but really... What did they expect? He wasn't about to look for a Future Lady Blabla Catton until at least third year, but this was groundwork. He wanted to find out which girls were the most bearable- and if he didn't go out with them, then how would he know? Besides, there were some right nutters out there. The ones who said I love you after a week, or went all doolally when he called it quits. Or ended up, well... Felix didn’t dwell on that, though. It wasn't his fault; if he blamed himself for everything other people did, then he'd never get out of bed in the morning.

Back to the matter at hand. Oliver Quick's love life, or lack thereof.

Oliver, inexperienced with the fairer sex; happy enough to shag 'em but not confident enough to bag 'em. Besides, he had it on good authority that Ollie wasn't shagging properly. He'd been eavesdropping, yes, but that meant it was far more likely to be true.

Oliver Quick? We hooked up... Well, sort of, he went down on me for ages, I think he was too drunk to get it up, but...

Why else would you do that, other than avoiding the main event? There was nothing in it for Oliver; Felix was a devotee to the snog, finger, fuck pipeline for a reason, and it was mostly because if he had his hand up a girl's skirt, she'd be giving him a little action through his jeans. Quid pro quo- and if she blew him, well, that was her choice, wasn't it? Didn't mean he had to venture down south and get his face all slimy.

Felix didn’t want to ask Ollie if he was a virgin, but he definitely wasn't fucking before Felix took him under his wing. Again, it wasn't bad, just... The first time was always a big deal, and Olls probably wanted to have an actual connection or something girly like that. Farleigh had agreed, slyly, smirking all over his face when Felix had asked for a second opinion. Farls seemed to think of it as somehow insulting; Felix almost thought it oddly nice. Ollie took things seriously, that was all. He probably wanted to do it for the first time with someone he loved.

That made Felix feel a little nauseous, but why wouldn't it? All that mushy stuff triggered his gag reflex. Besides, Felix didn’t want Olls to get all long term committed. He just wanted Oliver to get his dick wet, because he was a good friend and hated anyone missing out. Oxford was heaving with skirt; he didn't want Olls to have a reputation as an overly-licky limp noodle.

Said noodle was trying to focus on an essay while Felix lay on his bed and slowly deconstructed his crisp packet in the hope of finding some more crumbs of salt hidden in the creases. He jammed a finger into his mouth; nothing, more's the pity, and Felix let the packet fall to the floor as he wiped his greasy hands on his jeans. "Olls."

Ollie was ignoring him, but he was sitting a little straighter. Felix rolled over, resting his chin on his hands. "Ollie-Ollie-Oliver, earth to Oliver, s'terrible manners to ignore your host, mate..."

"Just lemme finish this sentence, Felix, then I'm all yours." Oliver lowered his head determinedly, pen scratching against his notebook.

"Oliver Quick, I know how long your sentences can be. You'll get semi-bloody-colons involved, and I want to ask you something."

Oliver sighed, put the pen down, then gave a cursory glance behind him before flopping to Felix's grubby carpet. From this angle his weird eyes looked awfully big; Felix smiled down at him, the plan firm in his mind. Train Ollie up, turn him into a proper Romeo by the start of second year, and then they'd have loads of fun. "Would you like to go on a date, Oliver?"

Ollie's face screwed up. "Y'wha?"

"Fuck off, not like that, mate, I'm not bent. But I bet you've never ever been on a date before, yeah?" Felix was using his most reasonable voice. "It's like Rocky. A training montage."

"I don't want to date, Felix. Got enough on my plate as is." Oliver was still all scrunched-looking. "I'm fine as I am. No montage needed."

"And that attitude is exactly why you need my help." Felix pushed himself up, crawling off the bed to jab Oliver's ribs with one bare foot. "C'mon. Off you trot, put on something nice. I'll pay- fucking starving, up for Chinese?"

Oliver went all floppy, like a recalcitrant toddler, before nodding, slowly hauling himself upright. "Fine. But only for free food. Don't get any ideas."

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Felix thought that Ollie might only have one nice shirt. It wasn't even a decent nice shirt, that blue plaid thing, but Felix had excellent manners. He'd smiled as Oliver begrudgingly opened his dorm room door. Now, seated across from each other at a two-person table, Felix was going to teach Oliver how to carry on a polite dinner conversation.

"I have to say, Ollie, the colour of that shirt really brings out your eyes." Felix shoved another complimentary prawn cracker into his mouth, giving Oliver his most attentive smile. Ollie took a swig of his beer, nodding slowly.

"Thank you, Felix. You look... You look lovely, too." That was coupled with a very grim little smile, and Felix shook his head.

"I told you, Olls, you've got to pretend I'm, y'know, a fit bird. Not me. Try it again, mate, with feeling this time."

Oliver sighed, loudly, before reaching over and putting his hand on Felix's wrist. The eye contact went from fleeting to intense so quickly Felix felt as if he'd been pinned to some metaphysical wall; Oliver smiled at him, dimples puckering his cheeks, going all squinty and bright. "You look lovely tonight, Felix."

"Oh." Felix blinked, and the glow faded from Ollie as he withdrew his hand, returning to his usual, friendly little self. "Christ. No, you- you've got that down, mate. Good job."

It was a good thing Felix wasn't a girl, else he'd have gone all giggly and flustered; a result which meant there was nothing Felix could teach. A shame, really, but after that it definitely felt a lot safer having dinner as mates.

[theflashdriver]

Shades of Silver

"Are you really still not going to say anything, seriously? How long have we been trapped like this and he's still not saying anything? If they really were me, they would have said something by now," The hedgehog to her left had been ranting on and off for over an hour now, "Blaze, you must have realised the truth by now, right? I'm the real Silver, he's some sort of imposter. He's not answering any of my questions or..." The psychic's words continued to fill the air as Blaze rubbed her temples.

The guardian of the Sol Emeralds was sat within the dungeon of her palace, on an archaic bench that surely hadn't seen use for a century. She frankly couldn't remember the last time she'd been down here, it had surely been when she was a child or a young teen at the latest. The basement was far from well maintained, disused for centuries at this point as criminals now typically went to proper prisons rather than directly beneath the seat of power. This collection of cells was perhaps the only place in the palace that Gardon didn't dare tidy.

Before her stood two matching versions of Silver the hedgehog, held in side-by-side cells with their hands cuffed between the bars. Both of them looked to be approximately the same age, even if recent experiences marked them both differently. The first to arrive had been covered in soot and so had been quick to clean himself up, while the second still wore countless dark stains upon his white fur. There was also the matter of bandaging, tending the hedgehog's wounds was typically the first thing they did together upon his return from whatever timeline he'd found himself in- only the first psychic to arrive had been afforded that effort.

That latter truth led to the reality Blaze had been ruminating on ever since she'd taken this seat. It would be a lie to say that she hadn't noticed any abnormality in the first Silver upon his arrival... but, though she surely couldn't stand to admit it, she had been rather swept up in those differences. Perhaps even captivated by them?

He'd met her at the beachfront, that had become their most frequent rendezvous point. The dimension hopper had stumbled out from a whirling blue portal, as he did more commonly than not when able to return by his own hand. The soot covered hedgehog had tumbled right into her lap, landing chest to chest with her. Rather than quickly rise, the hedgehog had hugged her tighter than ever and murmured endlessly about how much he'd missed her.

She'd tried to drag him back to the palace, but he hadn't been so quick to seek treatment. While he told her of the world he'd survived, the hedgehog had repeatedly rerouted them to wander. The two had ended up strolling the beachside, then waltzing over waves he'd hardened with psychic power. They'd practically danced around the entire island's perimeter, wandering over rock pools and beneath leaping dolphins. He'd told her of his time away, of the terrible state he'd found the world in and his plan to make it better, but he'd worn a smile rather than his usual sullen seriousness. His talk would always return to how happy he was to be here again. To be with her again.

When they'd finally arrived at the castle grounds he'd literally swept her off of her feet, one of his arms around her shoulders and the other beneath her knees. Before the cat could blink they were floating, less than a moment later soaring; flying over the royal gardens and around to her bedroom window. With no more than the wave of a single finger the balcony windows had opened and he'd carried the cat over the threshold, letting them in without so much as Gardon noticing. He'd grinned at her, much too proud of himself, and forgotten to put her down for far too long.

In the private sanctum that was the royal bedchamber, she'd managed to finally force him to sit still and take treatment. They'd spoke for hours about the world he'd arrived in, all the while she'd tended his wounds. He'd told her of the impossible future he'd arrived in, of a world where the earth beneath his feet would writhe and flex as if it was a living creature. He'd seen eyes in the dirt, jaws made of stone, and clay arms grasping up- all of which came in countless shapes and sizes. Apparently he'd been pushed across an entire continent by a giant wave of earthen refuse, struggling to keep himself on the surface of that impossible tidal wave. If he hadn't cast the portal in front of himself, it sounded like he'd have been thrown off of the continent and into whatever had become of the sea.

The whole time hey'd sat together, there'd been a certain tension had hung in the air; he'd worn a certain bashfulness that she hadn't often seen from him. The hedgehog was always clingy upon his return, but this time he had been more extreme. His touch had lingered upon her forearms, her cheeks, and further so very casually, so comfortably. No fewer than thrice he'd leaned in so very close with an over serious expression on his muzzle, but when she'd pry as to what was on his mind he'd turn away and mutter a half-hearted excuse. He'd grown more and more regretful in the aftermath of each ask; the cat had thought she was doing something wrong, that perhaps his wounds were more serious than she'd anticipated.

Well, she'd tried to convince herself of that likely reality, rather than consider certain other imagined truths.

Her administering of aid had been interrupted by a knock at the balcony window. Blaze had turned after securing another bandage, expecting some poorly timed prank from Marine, only to find herself face to face with another Silver. She'd thrown a look back at the psychic she'd tended only to find a look not of surprise on his face, but realisation; Blaze knew for certain that the first hedgehog hadn't been shocked to see another of himself. From then on, that version's actions had only gotten stranger.

That first Silver wasn't even looking at her- he'd turned away and kept his face to the far cell wall, not even looking in the direction of the more talkative Silver. Unlike the other one, this hedgehog had simply done as she'd commanded without a word of complaint. She hadn't ever led Silver down here before but the hedgehog had seemed to know exactly where he was going, even walking into a cell by himself. Without hesitation, and before she could request it, he'd shut the door and stuck his arms through the bars to be cuffed.

Peculiar as his actions were, they weren't those of an invader. For one, if anything, he was making himself look more suspicious with his current charade than he had been while roaming free. He'd let himself be walked to the dungeons and locked up, even though he was obscuring his face it wasn't as if he was truly hiding anying. Regardless, going from talkative and kindly to mute wasn't doing anyone any favours, no matter what his origins were. If he was meant to be some sort of threat, he was doing an extremely unthreatening job.

The Silver on her left had stopped talking, the feline looked up. He was staring out at her, fingers caressing the chains connecting his handcuffs. The sight of him in this position was odd enough, let alone there being a second version stood only separated from him by a thick stone wall.

"You've gone quiet now too..." Contemplation had claimed his expression, "Could it be that I'm in the wrong dimension?"

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking. I don't think you're in the wrong dimension," Blaze answered, "I don't think either of you are."

"What, you think this guy is my future self or something?" Clearly he'd had the same thoughts as her already, "But if that's the case, why isn't he saying anything! Why did he fight me?"

"You attacked him first," Blaze bluntly pointed out.

"Right, but if he'd just said something I would have stopped," The talkative Silver kicked the cell wall that separated them, "Why aren't you talking?!"

The second psychic didn't so much as flinch as a stone tumbled free and into his side. He was still facing that wall, head practically tucked into the front left corner of his cell. Despite his attempts to obscure his face, the potential time traveller's body language was easy to read. That Silver was buried deep in though, keeping his musings contained behind his lips- unlike the one on the left.

Moments after his arrival at her window, once the floating hedgehog had locked eyes with his sat counterpart, he had smashed through the glass and surged toward his doppelganger self. A psychokinetic brawl erupted in the heart of the royal bedchamber; palm-strikes and psychic shockwaves had shook the space and tossed clutter all across her room. The pair bounced off of each other, their abilities perfectly neutralising one another- that was until the stained hedgehog had crouched with his feet planted against the far wall. 

That Silver had pounced enveloped in a sparkling aura, sending cracks through her bedroom wall as he flew with palms raised. His bounding attempt was caught by his mirror image; grasps locked and psychic energy sparked like lightning. Harnessing the leaping hedgehog's momentum, his standing counterpart spun him around before launching him back into that already cracked wall. The second hedgehog smashed through brick but was quick to rise, his body still fully aglow.

It was only in the wake of one gaining the upper hand that Blaze dared to intervene; throwing a fireball between the pair and having it expand to form a blockade. From then on the bandaged Silver hadn't so much as grunted, no matter how the other chastised and barked. It was only when she had raised the solution of separating them for interrogation that he had so much as moved, on the walk to the basement he had simply stewed in quiet contemplation and thrown the occasional scathing look at his double. Even though he was still refusing to talk, a choice which had greatly impacted the interrogation, the guardian was certain he was assessing his counterpart with the same scrutiny as he was being analysed with.

"It's obvious he's the fake, isn't it? If he was like me he could break out of these cuffs without even trying," The Silver on her left insisted, "Watch."

The hedgehog braced against the bars with his boot and stared to lean back. Cyan light flared bright, the hum of psychic might filled their quiet surroundings to echo deeper into the dungeon. His teeth grit as the feline jumped to her feet. 

"I know you can break free," Blaze stepped closer, "Coming down here was a test of willingness and to separate you both so you'd stop fighting, you don't need to-

The bar broke before the cuffs could; the hedgehog was sent tumbling back over himself. He crashed backwards, slamming the back of his head through a hanging bench made of long rotten wood. 

"Are you okay?" She asked, already mostly knowing the truth.

"I'm fine," His already stained fur was now a shade greener.

There was something strange in his tone, more than just embarrassment. Silver often got angry at himself; when it came to saving the world, he'd beat himself up whether he was successful or not. This was different though, an emotion he hadn't really experienced from him. The cat couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"I'll get you cleaned up when this is all over," She promised, battling back her own overthinking, "We just need to sort whatever is happening here first and make sure we're safe. My world might be in danger from one of you two, I can't put my people at risk."

His expression softened, "You're right. I shouldn't-

"Okay," The Silver to her right finally spoke, Blaze's head spun, "I think, with him having broken the bench, I can start talking now."

"What do you mean start talking now?" The one to her left grumbled, dusting off his quills from his still prone position.

"The me in this cell didn't start talking until I'd fallen over last time," The right Silver exposited.

"Last time?" The left Silver groaned.

"I am indeed a future version of the hedgehog in the cell to my right," He explained, eyes still locked on the wall furthest from the other hedgehog.

"You're only admitting that now, after we explained that was a possibility," Blaze tutted, glowering at him, "You understand how that looks, don't you?"

"I do, unfortunately," The hedgehog sighed, "But, like I said, the version of me in this cage didn't start talking until I'd put my head through the bench."

"But it's not as though anything was actually stopping you from talking, was it?" Blaze pushed back, "Taking his falling as a good point to start talking, that seems much too simple."

"I know he just put his head through the bench," He pointed out, "Isn't that proof?"

"That's easy enough to guess," Blaze rationalised, though she was slightly convinced, "You heard him at the bars and you heard him fall back. It makes sense that he'd go through head first."

A quiet pause filled the stagnant air, leaving a void which Blaze easily filled with thoughts. There was a reason she had come up with this as a hypothesis, it was what made the most sense and was the most obvious. Neither of the hedgehogs stood before her had truly caused any trouble or harm to her kingdom, only to each other and her bedroom. One had been given the perfect opportunity to attack or hold her captive, the other had been free to travel the islands and steal the Sol emeralds, but neither had taken advantage of those most ideal situations. Both hedgehogs, albeit one more begrudgingly than the other, had let themselves be brought down here and incarcerated. There was no true malice in either of them, no sign of a darker motive. Perhaps he was telling the truth, but she couldn't act on a hypothesis alone...

"Look, I just don't want..." The other Silver still wasn't looking her way, "To risk altering the timeline. Other me, you should be committing all that I say to memory. I would have told one of you to grab a notebook but the older version of me didn't do that last time, didn't mention it until now, so I can't chance it."

"You're even scared to make the wrong face, that you'll change something by doing that," Blaze realised aloud.

"That's stupid," The lying Silver fumed.

"It can take less than the flap of a butterfly wing to change the future," Despite the angle of his muzzle, Blaze could tell by his figure that the hedgehog was still more than a little frustrated by his counterpart, "Well, I'm hoping that much won't change things drastically enough to undo all of our work. I don't remember everything this version of me said and did perfectly..."

"What do you mean undo our work?" The once fallen Silver had finally hopped back to his feet.

"Come on, we both know this better than anyone," The other Silver hissed, "Changing the past changes the future. If I change your experience, I change my own." 

"Even if what you're saying is true," The now risen Silver scoffed, "We've not been affected by time paradoxes ever since that first one with Solaris. Why would changing things matter now?"

"Right, we haven't been affected, but the worlds we travel to have been replaced time and time again," He half shouted over, still facing the wrong way, "We probably weren't even born anymore, but the futures we would have been born into have been shaped by how we've change in the past. If I say the wrong thing and slip up, it might mean you'll act differently and that could result in a different future when you return to see how the world next ends."

"What, you're thinking that a few minor changes will be enough to make a time paradox that will rewrite all of the time paradoxes you've supposedly caused?" Silver questioned, "Considering all the effort it takes for me to change history, what damage could a few minor shifts actually do?"

"I don't think it's worth chancing," The other countered, "And you won't either when you're in my position, not if you value the lives we're saving."

"Well now it sounds like you're trying to make me the villain in this situation," The second arrival followed up, "I think you're trying to make Blaze take your side while explaining as little as possible."

"He's only saying what he is now because you will go on to say it, having heard it from him in your then past which is now..." Blaze considered aloud.

"You can't tell him about the future I've come from," The right Silver very quickly informed her, "You didn't when I was stood in that cell and you never did afterwards."

"Well, if you won't talk about our future, how are we mean to prove that I'm going to become you?" The left Silver countered.

"You still don't get it, I can talk about our future," The apparent older hedgehog grumbled, "Just only the parts I already heard myself say."

"Then when are you from in my future, how much further on? That's the first question that came to my mind, so surely you asked it too," The apparent youngster pried.

"I did ask that, but I'm not giving you the answer. You could use it to change my past and your future," The right psychic responded.

"Ignoring the future, you can surely talk about your shared past, correct?" Blaze cut in.

"I can now that you've asked me," He answered, "What do you want to know?"

"Oh so you'll answer her questions, just not mine," The other Silver grumbled out, "He's trying to get on your side again Blaze, trying to turn you against me."

"What state was the future he just left in?" Blaze asked, ignoring the more talkative Silver's words but pointing to him, "I haven't heard about that yet, he can confirm it."

"The future he came from is just as destroyed as every one we've found prior. The streets are stalked by creatures from another world coming in all shapes and sizes. Giant worms, three legged lunging spiders, living disks that float through the air, and so much more. All of them implanted with strange circuitry," At the sounds of a grumble from his parallel cage, the older hedgehog continued to elaborate, "His investigation has shown that Eggman was responsible. He sent a message out into space, trying to attract all manner of interstellar travellers only to steal their crafts and combine their technology with his own. He used the guise of alien arrivals to secure meetings with governments across the world, then harnessed some sort of mind control technology to gradually take control. With the aliens to blame, the doctor got our friends on his side," Regret had entered his tone, "He was able to convince them because of a prior invasion by a group called The Black Arms. One by one Sonic, Amy, and everyone else was put under mind control. It was all Eggman's doing."

"Of course Eggman was involved, he's always involved," The second Silver to arrive battered back.

"He's right about everything though, isn't he?" Already able to tell by the crouching hedgehog's frown.

His face scrunched up, that was answer enough, "Yes."

"How could he have known that if he isn't you?" The cat questioned.

"He could have been there in the future, watching me investigate, plotting to take my place. He could even have watched the very past that he's explained happen and then travelled here to match me," The likely younger Silver's hands were tugging at his chest fur, "If that's the case, he must understand the Chaos Emeralds or be able to harness a power like them; he could have timed his arrival to get here before me. We both know he arrived early, I was on time."

"Were you?" The slightly older hedgehog prodded, "You had to come find her, we can't know that for sure."

"I only had to look for her because you took her away!" The left Silver barked, "It doesn't change the fact you were early."

"I don't think I was particularly early," They really weren't getting along, "Though, as my position here does suggest, my most recent journey has gone awry..." The hedgehog made silence only to quickly fill it, "I don't want to explain why that mistake happened, because you might try to avoid it and cause a paradox."

"I won't!" The second Silver harrumphed.

"You might, even subconsciously," The response rang, "Besides, when I was in that cage I didn't get a proper explanation either. I'm not risking a time paradox when I already know this will all work itself out."

"That's very convenient," The left psychic fumed, "Both that you can't explain and that your apparent mistake made you arrive before I did."

"Judging by our current situation, I would argue that the opposite is true," The right sighed, "To be honest, when I arrived I noticed things were slightly different between me and Blaze, but I was exhausted and didn't want to assume anything. I thought it'd just been a long day..."

What did that mean? Blaze felt her heart skip a beat as her mind started to race. Their brief time alone together had brought with it an upwelling of thoughts the cat had been suppressing for a very long time. Was there a reason for that? Did his assumption explain why she felt a spark in the air? Was that Silver's relationship with his present Blaze more-

"If you really are a future me, what am I going to say next?" The potentially younger Silver asked, cutting off her train of thought, "If you are repeating the timeline correctly, then I must be about to say the same as what you did. I'll commit that to memory and be able to recall it when I'm you."

"No, you won't. Because, as I was told and am about to tell you, that won't work because if I do say what you were about to say then you'll surely say something different, resulting in me never having learned what you meant to sau," The hedgehog claimed.

Blaze wasn't sure that was correct, wouldn't the Silver sat in the left cage have to just remember what he thought he was going to say rather than what he literally intended to say? Then again, if the Silver to her right was repeating all he'd heard said, then issues in their shared logic had to be repeated to. After all, it wasn't as though this situation had ever happened to them prior. Well, it had happened to one of them prior? This was all more than a little confusing.

"Fine, I'll be specific, what am I thinking right now?" The second Silver to arrive interrogated.

"That if I was somehow able to guess what you were thinking, you'd be certain I was actually some sort of villainous telepath and that is how I'm deriving all my knowledge," The other Silver bluntly responded, "You came up with that theory just before proposing asking me what you were about to say."

The expression of the Silver who'd asked said it all "Well, you're right but that hasn't improved our situation at all."

"That only would have worked if I was wrong, as it would have proven that I'm a threat pretending to be you," By the flick of his ears, Blaze knew that the Silver on the right had rolled his eyes as he gestured to his supposed prior self, "That's what he's thinking now, to be clear."

Blaze looked to the more frustrated Silver and instantly knew the other was correct. This was exhausting. Despite purportedly being the same person, the two plainly did not get along.

A thought entered Blaze's mind- a stupid idea, the kind that forced her gaze from the pair and to the ground. Were they fighting over her? Was that why the two were so annoyed with each other? The second Silver to arrive would have seen at least the last moments of her time with the first; how he had been sat on the foot of her bed, the space that had only ever been used by him. Well, it still had been, they were the same person! Well, they probably were... either way though, it seemed like-

"Blaze," The left Silver's call stole the cat from her thoughts, "Have you realised something?"

"No," She snapped much too quickly, fidgeting with the keys to their cages, "Be quiet, I'm thinking."

"Why are you taking his side again?" He grumbled back.

"I'm not taking sides," The cat pushed back against him and her own juvenile thoughts, "I'm trying to figure this out."

If the Silver on the right was correct then there was no problem here. The two of them could co-exist, if only they would get along. Presuming that the older hedgehog knew what to do to avoid causing paradoxes, the two could probably even live together in the palace- if not, then spread across her kingdom. Perhaps all would be fine if she could keep the two apart, limiting their risk of damaging the space time continuum. She could split her time between them...

The thought of having two Silvers, still surely competing over her sprang back into the cat's mind. Immediately her brain was flooded with all manner of foolish ideas; of the endless spiral that was their potential battle over her. How often would they fight over her? Would they compete in other ways? Would they try to-

Blaze's fists clenched as she forced away those foolish thoughts, she could send away the older psychic- forward to his own time. The only wrinkle was the evil he could do if he truly was a liar, despite all the sense he was making. If he had been planning something, and her Silver had arrived in time to catch him off guard and stop it, then the apparent older hedgehog was possibly just biding his time. By going along with all this and being affable, she was affording him the benefit of the doubt. What if she sent him away and he was some sort of dimension-jumping shapeshifter, what if he had gained some important information about her kingdom? He'd gone the extra mile, he'd danced her around town rather than letting her treat his wounds immediately...

"Are you okay?" She had been looking down, the feline stared blankly at the pair of them.

"Which one of you said that?" The cat had to ask.

"He did," And "It was me," Rang out in the exact same voice, indicating the Silver on the left, now sat back on the ground.

"Well, he said he thought you'd had a long day," That Silver explained, "Between that and this confusion, I realised you'd been questioning us without us checking in on you."

"He's right," The other piped up, "How are you, has everything been okay today?"

"I'm fine," The cat insisted, "I'm not the focus, we still have-

"Given when I think we are, you should be debating with yourself over how best to spread the Sol Emeralds across the various islands. You want their local inventors to have the opportunity to use them, to upgrade island infrastructure, but you also need to keep the kingdom safe," The future hedgehog accurately predicted, "It's been keeping you up for nights on end... or, at least, it will?"

"Can't you just tell her how to sort that out?" The sitting Silver enquired, "You know, give her the best layout possible? The one she settles on." "I wish," The standing hedgehog grumbled, "By the time you next leave and come back she'll have sorted it, without any help from us..."

"Again?!" His counterpart sounded so frustrated, "We're not good at the royal stuff..."

"Eventually we'll get better at keeping up," Was that another hint? "I mean hopefully, in the future at some point. I've not caught up yet, she keeps surprising me," Probably not, "She's always a step ahead of us..."

"She is, she always is," The second to arrive psychic was grinning.

Now they were on the same side?! A two pronged assault on her from concerned Silvers was the last thing she needed. Whether the one on the right could read minds or was from the future, he still hadn't got it through his head that she didn't take compliments well. At least the one on the left wasn't being argumentative anymore, but this was arguably worse. They were both so naive!

"I can't really blame you for taking my spot," The more talkative hedgehog continued, "That is, if you really are my future self," There were still shades of doubts at least, they weren't a perfectly united front against her, "You've been away for two weeks too, right?"

"A little less this time, due to an emergency escape. Things went wrong in ways I can't explain to you," Just when she thought they would return to bickering, that Silver continued, "All that is to say though, I know what you're feeling, more than just because I've literally been you..."

The second time traveller caught her eyeline, there was panic in his stare, "We probably shouldn't be talking about that right in front of her though, right?"

"Oh, right, yes" Her stare turned to the other psychic, only to find him still facing the corner, "You're not... sorry, I forgot. It's not been that long since I was you but it feels like longer. A lot has happened."

"I'm not what?" A response rang, What's going to happen?"

"That I really shouldn't say, you wouldn't want me to spoil that,," Another answer tutted, "You're going to have to get-

"Will you two please go back to fighting?" The cat couldn't stand to look at them, "This is-

A wave of heat rolled through the dungeon, turning Blaze's head to its source on the far right. Bright orange light flared through the dingy dark of the dungeon as fire swirled to form of a shimmering disk on the cat's far right. Once the disk had fully manifested, flashing and swirling, a much too familiar form stepped through it. A purple feline dressed in a long coat and tights, a grey Sol Emerald in one hand and a ring of rusted keys in the other. If what Blaze thought was happening was truly happening, then she had been right in her assessment of the first Silver to arrive. The second Blaze to enter the dungeon tonight wasn't noticeably older than the first. They looked exactly the same...

"What's that noise?" The Silver on the left called out, too far away to see.

The keys in the other feline's hands were immediately familiar, they were the exact same as the set between her legs. Without so much as blinking the second cat strode up to the far right cell and undid the cuffs of the enclosed hedgehog. For the first time in what felt like it'd been hours Blaze saw that Silver's expression- it was one of complete and utter shock. Meanwhile his prior self in the other cell was moving around his cell, plainly trying to figure out what was happening but lacking the necessary angle to see the second Blaze.

As if it was the most normal thing in the world, that cat went on to unlock the cage she'd presumedly historically locked her partner in. The Silver she'd freed had gone to speak, but the newly manifested guardian had grabbed him by the shoulder; pulling him out of the cell with one swift tug. Before Blaze or he could could pipe up, so very smoothly, so casually, the newly arrived pyrokinetic had captured the lips of her psychic counterpart in her own. The surprise in his eyes was immediate but that Silver quickly melted against the other Blaze's embrace. The cat felt her temperature skyrocket as he melted against that other her; she felt herself bite her tongue and curl her toes. Despite how massively flustering as this was, the guardian couldn't look away.

Words quietly trickled out of the grinning hedgehog's mouth, "So that's how this ended..."

The other feline rolled her eyes, turning to Blaze in the process. She gave no more than a nod, not speaking so much as a word, before disappearing back through the fiery portal with an arm around her Silver's waist. Well, that would be easy to remember.

"Blaze," The remaining hedgehog's voice stole the cat from her thoughts, "What's happening? I can't see."

"You're gone, Silver," She answered, her gaze falling.

'Huh, what?" The hedgehog pressed his head against the bars, still trying to catch a glance of what had already concluded, "What happened?"

Her fingers brushed her lips, was that why he'd been so forward, because she was the same? Was this their future, was it fated? He hadn't looked any older than her Silver; how soon were they destined to become like this? Was he about to make the first move? Would she? Or had she only kissed him then because she'd witnessed it now?! Was that moment set to be the start of their relationship?!

"You'll find out soon enough," Was the only reply she could muster.

[thebrightestwitchofherage]

Believe Jewish Women.

Unfortunately, this doesn't seem obvious to some people here, and it seems like I have to make another post on the matter: Whenever I write about how Jewish/ Israeli women and girls are treated by Hamas, I receive at least one comment along the lines of Once again, Please read this article as it perfectly sums up the horrors Israeli women and girls have gone through:

I have shared this article before in the hopes of preventing rape justification and violent rhetoric often used against Israeli women.

Unfortunately, that is not the case.

-Global women's rights organizations have constantly failed Israeli / Jewish women and girls since the events of October 7th.

It has taken more than 4 months for them to report on the matter: https://ynetnews.com/article/hy0kjj6ra

Their silence and lack of proper response personally infuriate me and other Jewish women worldwide, and it will not be forgotten.

-I've had people here try to justify what happened to Israeli women and girls on October 7th- nothing justifies that.

Jewish women deserve to be believed, just like any other woman. Their identity shouldn't deny them of that. They deserve to be taken seriously and protected as fiercely as others.

It's believe *all* women, not only women you like.

----

Another popular response I get to my posts is " The IDF rapes or abuses Palestinian Women in jails".

Not only is this a false accusation, but it is also an infuriating case of "What about-ism", it is meant to discredit what many Israeli and Jewish women have actually gone through on October 7th.

-The most popular example of this false claim is a 13 girl allegedly raped by her Israeli jailers, while held in Israeli jail. This has been proven to be completely fake and untrue.

In fact, it has been proven that no girl that age has been incarcerated in Israeli jails in recent years.

In the few extreme incidents where it did happen, the incident was heavily criticized, and the perpetrators were sentenced to lengthy jail sentences. ----- It seems like Anti-Zionists here can not fully read and comprehend my posts if they don't align with their false narrative and antisemitic agenda. Perhaps a video will help: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3Xwsv5ocBA/?igsh=MXJkN2w4OGZjM2NpeA== Israeli journalist Emily Schriber has described this topic perfectly, and I hope that she helped you understand my points.

----

The facts are simple: Hamas used mass rape, gang rape, and mutilation of Israeli Women, girls, and men on October 7th. They continue to do so against Israeli hostages currently held in captivity.

There is so much physical proof and witness accounts. Don't look away or deny what happened.

[hogans-heroes]

https://www.tumblr.com/hogans-heroes/743601634680193024/thinking-about-how-buck-wouldnt-share-a-bed-with

this was my ask and of course avonne took my one little thought and wrote something so beautiful and angsty but also give urself some credit cause ur one little tag (about buck getting sick) GOT ME. imagine bucky hearing from the other guys that they thought buck was like seriously unhealthy cause he always had a cough or a sniffly nose but now he’s like totally fine and looks alive again. and when bucky asks him about it buck is like well it was cold i don’t know what to tell u! bucky might be upset that his anti touching tendencies led to him being sick all the time and honestly i do think bucky would share a bed with someone else if he really needed to. he would obv miss buck like CRAZY but he’d do it, whereas the thought of being up close and personal like that with anyone he doesn’t trust as much as he trusts john makes buck’s skin crawl. anyways bucky might be upset to hear that, but he couldn’t help the part of him that finds it endearing 😅

You are SO right on the money here. Bucky would deal with it but for Buck it’s a hard no go.

“I couldn’t. I just couldn’t, they weren’t you.”

And Bucky melts a little because he knows Buck’s history and his aversion to touch and he’s had a perpetual cold because Bucky wasn’t there and it overwhelms him with love but also sadness. You’d better believe he’s never leaving Buck’s side again and is going to cuddle him within an inch of his life every night. That first night back in each others’ arms is the best sleep they’ve both had in ages and they sleep very late the next morning. No one has the heart to wake them up.

OH MAN a big angst thought just hit.

So when Bucky arrives at the camp he’s obviously in bad shape and goes downhill with his wounds and fever, we’ve been over this a lot. So what if, since Buck has been treading the edge of sick from the cold and no sleep and stress, he crashes too? Now they guys have to deal with BOTH Buck and Bucky feverish and very sick. Buck with a horrible cough and Bucky with his infected wounds etc. The guys try to take care of them but it’s too much and they finally beg the guards for a doctor. They bring in a German one who examines the boys and promptly demands they are brought to a proper local hospital (which did happen with prisoners who were bad off enough). Of course the guys have a hard time letting their majors get taken away by Germans but they don’t have a choice. And the poor boys would be scared in that state too.

[glitches-and-bugs]

The State Of The Community (From an outsider)

Let me preface this by saying that this is all based on information I could gather on my own from the Discord and the various blogs involved. I will do my best to be as accurate as possible but since nobody involved in the situation came to explain, I'm quite limited. Thank you to the two of you (Aside from my main contact) that approached me to tell me what was going on, even though you were both distant from what was happening. I wholeheartedly appreciate you.

Let's get started, shall we?

The Server

This will address both the previous state of the server, the current state, and the demands presented in order to reform the server.

Firstly, the previous state. It's abundantly clear that none of you involved in the management of that server 1) know how to run a server with a mixed age range, 2) Have enough emotional control to not abuse moderator positions, and 3) Know what to include and not to include in a server in order to provide a healthy environment. This is not calling you out, this is a statement of fact because this community is mostly children. Yes, yes, some of you are close to 18. But I'm fucking 25. You're children to me.

The current state. Though the NSFW channels seem to be removed (Which they shouldn't have even existed in the first place without proper age verification and a moderator group of adults), there's still aspects present that should NOT be in a healthy server. Let's break it down. The Trigger Channel. Though I understand that it might be seen as necessary for you to make sure that people don't misstep, you do realize that people can use those against you, right? You should NEVER discuss your triggers publicly. The sheer amount of Vent/Mental Health chats. Look. It's clear that you're all trying to take responsibility for each other and that's nice and all, but none of you have boundaries. These types of discussions are fine to have with friends, it's important to have a supportive net of friends, but you should NEVER have a vent chat unless it is in private. These discussions you're all having in there are things that should be brought up to medical professionals. Some of you should be going to HOSPITALS. The fact that there were NSFW chats at all. This is a community of mostly children. I know nothing can stop you kids from exploring on your own, but there should never be a place where adults and children can go at the same time that has sexual connotation. I know y'all might not think this is serious but you kids can get adults into trouble, or end up in compromising situations yourselves. I pray nobody's groomed or grooming any of you.

Now the demands, reviewed by someone that worked as a professional Twitch/Discord moderator for a few years. Things I understand why you want to change it: The sheer amount of moderators. Too many cooks spoil the stew. By having so many people with that much power, you cause confusion and disarray. Limit your moderation team to 1 moderator per like, 20-30 members, with a good spread of time zone variance. Transparency of moderator decisions. Sorta. This should always be a given. Any rule changes and major events should be publicized, but things like rule violations, bans, and things as such should stay in the background. You are not entitled to every piece of information. No-nonsense moderator applications. Being a moderator is something to be taken seriously. You're ensuring the safety of your peers, not making a secret club. Things I do not understand: Public moderator applications. This isn't necessary. Sharing applications with the moderation team is all well and good, but it's not a public affair. You aren't voted on like parliament or the senate. "Collectivized" server ownership. A server should be made up of one trusted owner and a team of moderators. This isn't a government, it's a leisure activity. A big server I'm in has one moderator per 50 members. YOURS has at LEAST one for every FUCKING EIGHT. That's oversaturation. Any further collectivization and you may as well just make everyone a moderator. Server owner rotates between moderators. This isn't going to work. I promise you with all my little rotten heart that this isn't going to work. You're either going to give up or someone is going to just... Not give up the server owner position. You do realize that can happen, right? That they can just not give up the Server Owner role? What happens then? Did you have a contingency plan? Opt-in Mental Health channels. It's better than just leaving them free and open, but having them at ALL is still not good. Like I brought up before.

Phew, and that's all just the SERVER.

The Tumblr Community

As some of you may know, I was one of the handful of founding blogs in this project.

It has gotten way out of hand.

We have lost the spirit of what we started as, and as a result we have become a very toxic, disorganized community built on the backs of people who cannot support it.

People are being exiled from the community left and right for reasons I cannot figure out but am certain are petty in spirit. You're all great kids, but you're ruthless. You're going to cannibalize this community someday. I pray it happens soon, so you can all get over the grief that much sooner. I pray it rips off like a bandage, quick and efficient, a grand hoorah that leaves this place etched in the annals of Tumblr history. But we all know it won't. You'll all slowly cannibalize the community, ousting any member that stands up against whatever in group is most popular at the time, and you'll slowly decline in number until it's just a handful of you all bickering with yourselves about what went wrong. You'll look back and wonder what happened to change this community so much and there won't be anything to pinpoint because it's not just one event that caused its downfall. It's dozens.

If you know what's best for you, you'll leave on your own terms before that day comes.

Go touch grass. Stay in school, go to college, follow your dreams, and go to fucking therapy. All of you.

I promise you, as someone who was once in your shoes; young and stupid with a big RP blog and a lot of moxie, I know how this ends. Godspeed Tem-ily, you beautiful Undertale blog.

Final thoughts

I'll give a summary of Glitches' and Bugs' storyline tonight or tomorrow or something. Feel free to send me asks through the day, maybe tomorrow. but after that I'm gonna abandon the blog for good.

As an adult of my age, I shouldn't have even stayed when I realized how young some of you were. This is me rectifying that mistake. Any adults are free to hit me up, but i don't wanna deal with y'all being so young compared to me. It's just not right for us to interact.

Goodbye and good luck.

Glitches.