#a padded cell with a pic of those two just hanging up

[lupeloto]

just trying to do homework in starbucks and their wedding dance song starts playing… let me LIVE

i feel SICK THIS IS LITERALLY ONE OF ED SHEERAN’S MOST FAMOUS SONGS AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE THOSE TWO QUEERS

[love-fireflysong]

Welp, and as promised here's me once again restarting up WIP Wednesdays! I think we can all agree to just forget the fact that my last update for one of these was back in *checks archive* NOVEMBER????? Oh, uh shit. Huh. Damn that creativity slump was really kicking my ass there for a bit oops. Did not realize that it had been an entire four months since I last shared anything lol.

So, from the bottom of my heart: my bad. So please find it in your hearts to forgive me asjdhjakshdas.

Thankfully at least, I think I'm starting to find a nice after work/morning routine that should hopefully keep that creativity up again. Four mornings are spent cross-stitching for a couple of hours with a little bit of pc gaming afterwards, one (which is smack dab in the middle of those four days) is like 4-6 hours hanging out in a starbucks/library and ONLY writing, and the other two mornings are my days off of work where I just game for like 12 hours straight lmao. Routines are good for the heart and soul me thinks.

Plus, the slightly warmer weather and more sun is making me feel WAY better about life and picking my ass up out of that seasonal depression so that also helps a shit ton not gonna lie lol.

Enough taking about me trying to get some semblance of a life back together, here's the shit that (almost) everyone's actually here for: a teensy little sneak peak from my new outlast au piece!

The only reason that Ashley refused to give in to the pain though, was because she knew that no matter what pain she was currently feeling, Chris was feeling it magnitudes worse. That he could feel far more than the metal slicing into muscle, that he could feel the stickiness of the blood that coated Josh's back, the fabric of the more than likely entirely soaked jumpsuit digging into the cuts and making them only sting more. That he could feel each and every one of the small pieces of rubble that still continued to dig into the bloody palms of Josh's hands, left nearly shredded from his frantic attempts to chip at the thick wall of his padded prison cell in order to make a gap just barely wide enough for him to squeeze through. All as he dealt with not only the insistent, burning itch in Ashley's left arm from where the word carved there was still healing—plus whatever other aches and pains she had gained in the last couple of hours since her long-awaited release—but his own long, angry, and still weakly bleeding gash on his right arm. A parting gift from one Rick Traegar during his own desperate escape from the confines of the Male Ward. A ward that he had only barely managed to escape with his life in that first hour.

And now for the bit for the people who don't give a shit about my writing: cross-stitch update! Obviously not a huge amount of progress since my last pic, since I've only sewn once since then. But that skiploom is certainly coming along okay and should hopefully be finished tomorrow morning if everything goes smoothly!

[chickensarentcheap]

I Found

Chapter 5

Sorry this is so long. But it made no sense to split it up.  I promised @c-a-v-a-l-r-y som Ovi and I didn’t want to let her down ;)   also tagging @alievans007 and @hemmyworthy

“I've got a bone to pick with you,” he says to Ovi three hours later.  It was a conversation that would be best done in private, but with thousands of miles and countless hours separating them, face time was the next best thing.  “A big fucking bone.”

The kid looks good. Taller. Muscled. More mature in the face.  It is surprising how someone can change in the course of just a year.

“What did I do?” Ovi laments. “I didn't do anything.”

“Cut the shit, kid. You know what you did. What was the first thing I told you? When Esme gave you her email and her cell number?”

“To make sure that I didn't accidentally send her anything dirty off the internet. And to make sure none of my friends got my phone and sent her dick pics.”

“Okay. What was the second thing I told you then? Do you remember? The second and more important thing.”

His brow furrows as he strains to remember.  Then his eyes widen when he realizes his mistake.

“Yeah, you got it now, don't you, mate.  You figured it out.  I specifically told you not to message her about serious shit. That if you got any chatter about bullshit going on over there that you were to get a hold of me. Not her. So why the fuck up?”

“I don't know,” Ovi laments. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did it. I just did. I didn't mean to. It just happens.”

“That's the kind of bullshit excuse guys make when they fuck someone else or knock someone up.”

The kid frowns. “What?”

“Never mind. Point is, you opened a whole can of worms over here, mate. You really stirred the shit pot. Can you guess what happened? Can you just guess?”

“You got into a fight?”

“You're damn right we did. And this wasn't your normal fight about leaving the seat on the shitter up or leaving dirty socks on the bedroom floor or drinking the last of the milk straight out of the carton. This was the kind of shit show that happens when your girl asks you if she looks fat in what she's wearing and you say the wrong thing. This was almost months...if not years...of me sleeping on the couch, kid.  And I'm sorry but I kind of like sharing a  bed with my wife. You're lucky I can't reach through this thing and strangle the ever loving shit out of you.”

“I'm glad you can't. That ending would not be good.”

“No. It wouldn't.  You really freaked her out, kid. She's fifty shades of fucked over here. And not fucked in the fun way. Her nerves are all over the bloody place now. She's freaking the hell out. And I'm the one that has to do battle against that demon. Not the particular hill I want to die on.”

“Die? Why would you die? She's going to kill you? I don't want her to kill you because of me. Let me talk to her. Let me...”

“It's a bloody saying, mate. But with the state of the things over here, she just may smother me in my sleep or poison my food.  I know you didn't mean to do it, but fuck mate, what a goddamn mess.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause trouble. I just thought...I don't know...I just thought maybe it was better to talk to her.  So you wouldn't get upset with me.”

“So I get upset with her instead? Well played, kid. Well played. Don't let it happen again, okay? You come to me. If it is shit like this. She doesn't need it. She's got enough shit to deal with. Don't add to her plate.”

“I'll call her. To apologize.”

“Just leave her alone for now. Let her come to grip with things. It's not a good time right now. She's not in a good place. So do me a favour and just hold off, okay?”

“Okay. I really am sorry, Tyler. I didn't mean to cause trouble. I just thought maybe she could help so I wouldn't have to come to you. Please don't hate me.”

“I could never hate you, mate. You know that. So what's up? What's going on? I only got so much out of her before shit hit the fan.”

Ovi delves into a tale of increasingly suspicious and frightening behaviour.  What started out as simple hang ups on his cell and home line had someone transformed into dead animals left at the front door,  graphic images sent to his email of dead bodies blown apart by bullets, warnings to watch his back when he was out on the street; that he better have eyes on the back of his head. And within the last two days  things had really stepped up: extremely vivid descriptions of how and where he would meet his untimely demise.

“Let me guess,” Tyler says. “The bridge.”

Ovi nods.  He looks as if he may cry. Or throw up. Or both.

“Mother fuckers,” Tyler mutters, and rakes a hand through his hair. “Did you tell the guys watching you all this? What did they say?”

“They said to just ignore it. That it was probably just someone playing a sick joke.”

“Rookies. You always take this shit seriously. Did you call Nik?”

“She's the one who told me to call you. But I got scared and I called Esme instead.”

“Scared of me? Why?”

“You get so angry. You get so angry and you said the doctor said you're going through a lot of stuff and...”

“Yeah my brain's mighty fucked up but that doesn't mean you keep shit from me.   There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, kid. You should know that by now. Outside of this, how are things going? How's school? What about the cute girl that you said you've been checking out for a while?”

Ovi is clearly relieved with the change in conversations. And he willingly and happily dives into tales of both his school exploits and his social life. The kid's become the hell of a story teller since coming out of his shell'; leaving no stone unturned, no details (even the most trivial out). And his face is content and his voice animated and it's almost enough for Tyler to forget about the shit the kid is dealing with. Alone, without the protection and the guidance of his father, with nothing more than servants, maids, and bodyguards to give him necessary human contact and care. It's a shit life. Sure, the money was great. And everything that came with having that kind of money. But how do you live day in and day out knowing what kind of prick your old man is? Knowing he's responsible for putting drugs out onto the streets and into the hands of vulnerable kids? Always having it on your mind that he was capable of killing another person?

That last part hits hard. He was that man. He was more than capable of taking a life. He'd shown it hundreds of times. And he wonders if he'll ever tell his daughter about that side of him. About his mercenary days.  And how she would react to the news. It would suck coming from someone else, he supposed. Honesty was the policy. But how to tell your kids about something like that without totally fucking them up? Without them hating you?

That last part is a brutal kick in the nuts.  The thought of his daughter hating of...thinking less of him...well it fucking kills him. And he briefly closes his eyes and struggles to get that thought of his mind.

“Tyler?” Ovi's voice. “Are you okay?”

He gives a reassuring smile. “I'm fine mate. Just a killer headache. It's been a long day.  So there's nothing on the girl front? You haven't made your move yet? What's wrong with you?”

“I'm nervous,” he laments. “I don't know what to say to her.”

“I'm going to have to give you some pointers when I get there. Light a fire under your ass.”

“You're coming? Here?”

“Looks like it. But there's a lot to work out. I've got to get a hold of Nik and make some arrangements.  It's going to take a few days at least. And my wife won't let me come alone...”

The kid's entire face lights up.  “All three of you are coming? I get to meet the baby?”

“I'm not making any promises, okay? There's things that Esme and I need to talk about and work out. But she's pretty adamant about not letting me go alone and I've learned to pick my battles. Do me a favour, would you? Send me those pictures you got. Did you take any photos of the shit sent to the house?”

“Of course. I do remember some things you told me.”

“Send those to me too.  What about the calls? You get any numbers?”

“All unknown numbers.”

Tyler knew it was too much to ask for things to be simple for once.

“I want you to send me anything and everything you have. And don't breathe a word of this to anyone around you, got it? Not a word. Not what's happening, not who you've been talking to. Don't even say my name. Less people know, the better. I'm still not sure if those fuckers know I'm alive or not. But let's just be on the safe side for now.”

They know, he thinks, as Ovi rambles some more about school and the girl he likes and how excited he is that he's going to be getting pointers from someone with experience. His friends know shit, after all. They're just as green and awkward as he is.  

They know I'm alive. That's the only reason for this. They're trying to get me back there. And if they know I'm alive, they'll figure out my name. And once they know my name, nothing will be able to stop them from finding out where I am. Where I live. With my wife and my child.

And suddenly, it all becomes so much more serious than he initially thought.

*****

“What are you doing?” Esme asks later, as finds him at the kitchen table, the laptop open in front of him, a pen and a pad of paper off to the side.  “Watching porn? Learning new moves? You have to write them down so you'll remember?”

“Smart ass,” he grins, and she stands behind his chair and rubs his shoulders before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He watches as she crosses the room; the way she has to stand on her tip toes to get a coffee mug down from its shelf.  That simple movement and the stretch of her arm causing the bottom of her t-shirt to rise up. Not only revealing a slice of the tattoo that covers her entire left rib cage, but gives him a peek of that ass clad in a lacy pair of black boy shorts.

 “Don't you have any clothes of your own?” he inquires, as she pours a mug of tea from the pot she'd prepared before heading for a shower.   “I swear that's all your shit taking up the room in the closet but you're always wearing my things.”

“I like your shirts better,” she replies. “They smell like you.”

That sounds like a good enough reason as any, he supposed.

“Baby asleep?” he asks, as she slips into the chair across from him.

“Finally. She was hungry again. She is your daughter. A bottomless pit for a stomach”

“She's growing,” he reasons, a hint of sadness in his voice. “I see it every day. How much she's changing. She pays more attention now. She looks for us when we talk to her. She smiles.”

“And before long she'll be bringing her first boyfriend home and asking to go on birth control.”

His eyes narrow as he stares at her. Long and hard.

She smiles and innocently sips her tea.  

“Did your father go gray at an early age? Did you give him wrinkles? Cause him to drink excessively?”

“He had five kids altogether. I'm the second last. So he was already a wrinkly, gray haired, borderline alcoholic before I came along. And you know why ? Because  had three boys before me.”

“Yeah, I'm sure that is exactly what caused his issues. The three sons that came before the first daughter. “

“You don't know my brothers,” she reasons.

It's true.  He doesn't. They've never actually come face to face.  He's seen pictures and vice versa and he's briefly chatted with them on the phone,  but he knows very little about them. Nor do they know much about him. All they really did know was that their sister went on a 'business trip', hooked up with some random Australian, and never went back to Colorado.  He was a mystery to them; ex army, someone that travelled a lot for work,  got mixed up in some bullshit that ended up with him in the hospital and needing months of recovery. They knew his name. What he looked like. His age and where he was from.

But that's where the details stopped. Their wedding was small and secretive. She didn't tell her family there was a baby on the way until the last month arrived.  Or why she had to be 'laid off' from work. It was messy and complicated; a lot of little white lies gathering into one huge fib. But it was for their own good.

“They're bat shit insane,” she adds. “They're savages.”

“My kind of savage or...?”

“Baby, there is no one out there that is your kind of savage. They're normal savage. They're normal human beings that do normal human being things. And we're...well we're...”

“Fucked up?”

“Well I was going to say complex but you always have had  a way with words.

Leaning back in her chair, she stretches her legs out and rests her feet in his lap.  Quietly sipping her tea as his one hand disappears under the table; dragging his knuckles slowly up and down the top of her foot, then along the bottom. Slowly, methodically.  His eyes focused on that pad of paper as his right hand mindlessly scribbles and doodles.  He's hard to read; a million and one things going through that beautiful head of his. Memories of his previous life. The things he's seen. The things he's done.  Replays of conversations that they'd had today on the beach, the argument that they'd found themselves embroiled in.  And more than likely some thoughts of Ovi and what ever had happened during their behind closed doors face chat. It wasn't cause for concern when Tyler fell quiet; he was a man of few words, the strong and often silent type. It was when he grew quiet and he got THAT look.  Where his brow furrowed and his eyes darkened and he'd absentmindedly (and repeatedly) dragged his top teeth  along his bottom lip. That twas when you should worry.

“What's up?” she asks casually. This is a thin line to teeter upon. Like walking across thin ice that you can hear cracking under your feet.

“Just tired,” he replies with a small smile, tilting his head to the side and causing his hair to fall across his forehead.

His knuckles continue to brush against her foot; over each toe and down the instep before travelling onto the ankle and down onto her heel and over the bottom. In the past few months he'd become increasingly needy when it came to physical touch. Both seeking it and giving it. Not that that wasn't a welcome change. This is a man who'd had to learn what it was like to love again. And to be loved.  “It's been a long day,” he adds. “Too much sun. Always make me tired, you know that.”

She nods slowly, both hands clasped around her mug, the rim pressed against her lips.

“I'm sorry,” he says. “About our fight earlier. For some of the things I said.  I didn't mean them. I say shit when I get upset.  I lash out when I'm pissed off. Always at the people who don't deserve it. And I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that.”

“I know. But to be honest, you were pretty tame. You've said a lot worse over a lot less.”

“Maybe. But I still hate myself for doing it.  I shouldn't have snapped like I did. I just wasn't expecting it, you know? It caught me off guard.”

“It's okay,” she assures him, and rubs her toes against his stomach. “And I'm sorry too. It probably wasn't the best time or place to bring all that up.”

“To be fair, that's kind of our history. It's how we met. Letting things happen in the wrong place at the wrong time. Seems to be our go to.”

“Remind me to never tell our daughter that. We're going to have to come up with a really good story for when she asks where she came from. Do you really want to be telling her she was conceived in some flea bag motel in Dhaka while you were trying to rescue a drug dealer's son?”

“Not exactly something you want to tell your kids.  We're definitely not a love story that someone would write home about.”

“I don't know.  It's the thing movies are made of, don't you think? Two people falling in love in the midst of some crazy shit? Surviving things that would kill most mortals? I'd watch it.”

“Would there be nudity?” he teases. “I'd watch if if there was nudity.”

“If it's about us, there'd be tons of nudity,” she says with a wink, and he can't help but chuckle.  Their sex life has always been epic. Right from the very beginning.  

“And I'm sorry for bringing Austin up,” she adds, and he glances up at the mention of his son.  “I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have stooped that low.”

“You didn't stoop low.  You had a right to bring him up. I know I don't talk about him much.  And you know I don't like to talk about him. But you were right.  I do think that way. I do feel guilty at times. I feel like a shit father who is forgetting about him. Who doesn't love him anymore because I brought another kid into the world to take his place.”

“She isn't taking his place, Tyler. That isn't why she's here. She's here because two people fell in love and they made something so incredible together. There's no other reason. She's here because she's meant to be. And she's here as her own person. She isn't a replacement.”

“I know. I do. But I can't help but think that way some time. My brain is fucked up.  All those fucking pills...” he jerks his head in the direction of the microwave stand. Where a wide variety of medications prescribed in his name take up residence in a locked drawer. Pills for the pain. Pills to help him sleep. Pills for anxiety. Pills for depression. Pills for every single fucking thing under the sun. “...they fuck with my head. Some days I can't even remember what day it is.”

“That's not the pills. That's old age.”

He smirks.  “First a Viagra joke and now a crack at my age? Do you want a divorce?”

“Not particularly, no. I kind of like having you around.  I think I'll keep you.”

“Yeah? Good. Because I kind of like hanging out here.  The food's good. I get my laundry done. I get laid on a regular basis. Things could be a lot worse, I figure.”

“You mean like sleeping on the couch for the rest of your naturally born life?” she teases, and he nods in agreement. Once again they fall into a comfortable silence; no noise except for the tick of the kitchen clock, the slight drip of the tap, and the hum of the laptop's fan. “So?” she eventually asks. “What are you doing?”

Sighing heavily, he turns the laptop to face her. The screen displaying one of the photos that Ovi had sent him: a headless cat with its blood smeared on the front door.

She grimaces. “I won't lie. I wish it was porn you'd been watching.”

“Ovi sent me these. And a whole bunch of others. Just weird and creepy shit for the most part. But whoever is doing this isn't messing around. It's all very deliberate.”

“You don't think they're just trying to scare him.”

“This goes above and beyond just trying to scare someone. This is bonafide psychotic bullshit. Whoever is doing this, they're after him. They're sincere with their threats. They're too invested in this. It's not just some passing fancy or some kid doing shit because they think it makes them look cool. This is the real deal. This is scary shit.”

“So he's definitely in danger.”

“No doubt in my mind. Maybe if it just went as far as the hang ups and the pictures, I'd say it's just someone fucking around. But the dead animals? The threats? The letters? That shit is very real.”

“Someone attached to Asif? Or even someone pissed off at Ovi's father?”

“This is definitely someone that's pissed off that Ovi got away and Asif died. Don't get me wrong; Nik had every reason to shoot him in the fucking head. But it is coming back to bite us all in the ass.”

She nods slowly, considering his words. “What's this?” she inquires, as she leans forward and picks up the note pad.

“Just some research I've been doing. Names mostly.”

Her eyes study what he has scrawled, eyes narrowing at one particular name.  “Farhad? That one sounds familiar.”

“It should. That's the little fucker that shot me in the neck and nearly killed me.”

“Hmmm...” she traces a finger over each letter, as if committing it to memory. “...no last name.”

“None that any of my contacts could come up with.  I'm sure I'll be able to find him if I put some feelers out.”

“Why would you want to? To kill him?”

“To talk to him. He's probably behind this bullshit. Why would you say kill him right off the hop like that?”

“Well, I wouldn't exactly blame you if you wanted to kill him,” she reasons. “Or if you did kill him. I think it's a reasonable response considering he almost killed you.”

“I'm not out for revenge. I'm out to help Ovi. This isn't about me.”

“But revenge isn't always a bad thing,” she gently argues. “And I think in this case...in our case...it's the only natural response.”

Tyler frowns. “He's a kid.”

“That shot you in the neck.”

“He's still a kid.”

“Why does that matter? Look at what he did.”

“He was only doing it to impress some drug lord dick head.  Now he's probably up to shit thinking he's big and bad because he did supposedly kill me.  But he's still a kid. A fucked up kid. But still a kid.”

“A kid that tried to fucking kill you!” she snaps, and he blinks at the anger in her voice.  It's the first time she's ever truly snapped at him. Not the little flip outs she has when she has to tell him twenty times to do something or when she's tired and he's getting on her last damn nerve. This was different. This was rage. Vehemence. And those were the eyes of a woman possessed.

A woman out for blood.

“Well he didn't succeed did he? I'm still here. It's water under the bridge.”

“The bridge. The fucking bridge! Always the fucking bridge!”

“The bridge? What the fuck...?”

“The bridge! The bridge where he shot you! The bridge where you almost fucking died! I was on that bridge too! I was the one that held you when you were dying. I was the one that had your blood all over me. I was on that fucking bridge too, Tyler!”

“I know,” he rubs and squeezes her foot in an attempt to settle her down.  “I know you were.  But just calm down and...”

“Don't you fucking tell me to calm down,” she snaps, and yanking her foot out of his lap, pushes her chair away and jumps up with so much force that it nearly topples over.  “Don't you do that. Don't you act like my feelings aren't valid!”

“I wasn't. That's not what I was trying to do. I know you were there. I know what you saw. And I wish every day it never came down to that. That you never had to see that. But I can't go back and change it. Didn't you say that to me today? That I can't go  back in the past and change how I did things?  This is the same thing.”

“No. It's not. It's the same damn thing at all! Don't you dare try and downplay this.”

“Esme...settle down...just take a breath...take a breath and let's talk about this calmly. Reasonably. Please...” he reaches for her and she slaps his hands away. “I'm not the enemy here, love. I'm not the bad guy. Don't push me away. You've been trying to do that for almost a year now. And I haven't gone anywhere yet.”

“How can you just sit there and be so calm about this?” she snags the pad of paper. “How can you act like this doesn't matter any more? That this name...this fucking name!...doesn't mean anything to you.”

“Because it doesn't. He isn't the first person that has tried to kill me.  And he probably won't be the last.”

“Jesus Christ, Tyler. Are you really trying to normalize this?”

“It's the nature of the beast. All part of the job. You knew that when Nik dragged you into this. You really think he's the first asshole to try and kill me?”

“He's the first asshole that's tried to kill you right in front of me!”

Sighing, he runs his hands over his hair and through his hair and then leads back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest. “Maybe you should stay behind. Maybe it's better if you and the baby stay here.”

She stares at him incredulously.  “You have got to be kidding me.”

“If shit hits the fan, which it probably will, it's probably best if you're not there. You went through it once. You don't need to see something like that again.”

“So you just wander off like you're fucking John Rambo and I stay with our baby...your baby...while you get killed?”

“What is this obsession with me getting killed? Do you really have that little faith in me?”

“Oh don't you play that card with me. I'm the only one around here that has had faith in you.”

“Then what the fuck is going on? What is happening right now? Because I honestly have no idea.”

“You're not a stupid man, Tyler Rake.”

“Well I must be because I have no fucking clue what you're going on about.”

“You almost died. You're not just some random of the street. Not some guy I was just randomly fucking. You're my husband. The father of my child. And you have the gall to ask me why I'm so upset? Oh I don't know Tyler. Maybe I'm upset that I saw you get shot in the neck and you were bleeding out all over me. Maybe that has something to do with it, do you think?”

“Okay settle down. Just settle down. Before you say something totally stupid you'll regret. I get it. I do. But you've got to let it go.”

“I'm never going to let this go. Not until this piece of shit...” she tosses the pad down onto the table. “...is lying dead in the street. I want revenge. You deserve that.”

“I don't want that. We got revenge when Nik killed Asif. Isn't that enough?”

“No. It's not. It won't be enough until that little bastard is stone cold dead and in hell where he belongs.”

And with that, she storms out of the room.

[expectyaytions]

Can you do #49 and #51 for SweetVee? Preferably in the same Drabble bc I think it’s funny contrast lol

Sorry, this is a few days late!

-//-//-

#49 - “Your voice is sexy.”

“Your ass is sexy”

&

#51 - “Seriously the chimney?”

“The squirrel can’t win.”

He woke up early, starting the coffee pot and unloading the dishwasher. He was still tired from baby proofing their apartment the night before. He hadn’t realized how many electrical outlets there were, or how hard it was to install a baby gate. He poured a bowl of cereal and added cream to his coffee. He could hear the shower turning on upstairs. Jughead and Betty would be by in less than an hour to drop off Ophelia. He headed upstairs, almost falling over the baby gate. He stepped out of his boxers and opened the door to their master bathroom. The sound of “Penny Lane” filled his ears. His wife’s nude body was blurred by the foggy glass. He opened the glass door and joined his wife under the warm spray. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head, “your voice is sexy.” He whispered into her ear. She turned smirking,” your ass is sexy.” She proved her point by grabbing it. He wrapped an arm round around her and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. His other arm held the wall for support. She moaned into him and he was a goner. They spent the remnants of their shower connected at the hip. Sweet Pea pulled on a pair of jeans and a black tea shirt while Veronica verbalized the pros and cons of wearing leggings, jeans, a skirt or dress. He made the bed while she pulled out options. When she was finally quiet he voiced his opinion.

“Well you know we’ll be keeping up with Ophelia all day, so I’d wear something comfy that you don’t mind getting dirty.” She nodded, hanging up the dress and skirt.

Betty and Jughead showed up at 8:00am on the dot. They were the punctual people around. Their eight month old was tucked into her car seat sucking on a pacifier. Veronica had just finished her yogurt and granola when the doorbell rang. Sweet Pea was pulling out the toys and baby swing they kept in the living room closet for whenever their friends visited. Betty and Jug let themselves in calling out, altering their arrival. They convened in the kitchen.

“Veronica, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in leggings before.” Jughead commented looking impressed and puzzled all at once. Betty rolled her eyes at her husband. She pulled out a sheet of paper detailing Ophelia’s usual feeding and sleep schedule. There were doctors numbers on the back along with FP and Alice’s cell numbers. Betty had also added the best way to warm up her breast milk and reviewed it as she piled it into the freezer and fridge.

“We’ll be back before dinner!”

“Take pics!”

“Duh, we’re going to need your input on which house is the best.” She gave Veronica a hug before squeezing Sweet Pea. “You guys are life savers. Thank you so much.” Jughead had put the car seat on the table. Both parents kissed her cheeks and smoothed her hair before being pushed out the door. Ophelia just stared at them sucking her pacifier and clutching her blankie.

“This going to be easier than I thought.” Sweet Pea said.

“You probably just jinxed us.” She smacked his chest with the back of her hand before reaching in and unbuckling the baby. She rested her head on Veronica. “She smells so good.” Sweet Pea rolled his eyes but indulged his wife leaning down to smell the top of his god-daughter’s head.

“Do all babies smell like that, or is it just organic, all natural, earth is best stuff Betty uses?” Veronica shrugged. They walked to the living room and sat on the couch. Ophelia was a quiet baby, she always had been. Veronica put her on the blanket they’d laid on the floor they scattered toys around it for her to reach and explore. She was just starting to get an itch to crawl.

“Do you care if I go to the office and make a few calls? I want to make sure everything is in order for the upcoming week at the office. Sweet Pea nodded reached for his coffee beside him. Ophelia played and gurgled with her toys, he joined her on the floor making noise with the hard plastic rings and his fingers. She’d smile and giggle in delight. At 11:30 he picked Ophelia up and they headed into the kitchen for her first feeding. He followed all the instructions, checking the temp, before finally giving her the bottle. He headed to master bedroom and sat in their fancy chaise while she feed. She looked like Jughead, except for her hair and nose -those were all Betty’s. He’d been nervous about messing things up. He was worried he’d get everything wrong and she’d cry the entire time. But so far she was very calm. She started to drift off as the remaining milk dwindled. He lifted he’d and burped her based on what he’d seen Betty and Jughead do and the YouTube videos he’d watched last night while Veronica finished up at the store. He laid her on center of their bed surrounding her with pillows. He laid next to her, pulling his phone out to snap Betty and Jug more photos. He and Veronica had never really discussed having kids. There would be the occasional - I hope our kids don’t inherit your clumsiness, or I hope they have your nose, eyes etc. They had been married for almost two and half years. He felt himself dozing off.

Veronica completed her phone calls. She still needed to make a conference call with a designer in LA, but that wasn’t until 1pm. She walked into the living room expecting to see her husband and god-daughter, but found nothing. She searched the house before finding them both asleep on the bed. Sweets had his arm curled over Ophelia. She had both her hands above her head resting on his arm. She melted at the sight, and quickly pulled out her phone to snap pics. They looked so angelic. She sighed before deciding to get some more work done while the pair napped. She headed back to her office and pulled out some fabric swatches that had been sent to her from the Italian office.

He was awoken by a small whimper and as he opened his eyes a teeny body colliding with him. When he looked down Ophelia’s eyes were wide and her bottom lip trembling. He blinked a few times before pulling her pacifier out his pocket and into her mouth. He pushed himself off the bed and Ophelia was quick to lift her her arms up and grab for him.

He scooped her up and they headed downstairs for bottle number two and a diaper change. While the bottle was warming he laid out the changing pad and pulled out diapers, wipes, lotion and rash cream. He’d seen Jughead do it and he’d even done it a few times under the Jones’ guise of “practicing.” Now, he was happy he’d done it. After taping up the diaper and cleaning everything up, they returned to the kitchen. He talked to her in his baby voice and blew kisses on her tummy as she giggled at him. She eagerly reached for the bottle once it was in her sight. Her pacifier slipped from her mouth leaving a long line of drool. “Cute,” He muttered. He couldn’t he took a nap. He hadn’t done that since college. Eyeing the clock and noticing it was 2:15, he decided to make lunch for himself and V. He’d waited until Ophelia had finished her bottle, burped her and then went to find the vibrating chair this she liked. Once she was set up on the counter with her toys and chair, he got to work making turkey burgers. She gurgled to herself, and he sang the few disney songs he knew - most of which were from The Lion King. She laugh and drool at him as he sang into the spatula. He’d used his phone to actually play the songs. Veronica joined them, Just as he was dressing the burgers and adding chips.

“Look at you two, having all the fun without me.” She kissed Ophelia’s head before kissing him on the mouth. She joined him for the last bit of “Circle of Life” and he twirled her around. Ophelia squealed from her chair smiled at them. They settled in to eat at the countertop, turning Ophelia to face them. The chatted and made faces at Ophelia.

“Do you want kids, V?” She swallowed the chip in her mouth.

“I think so. I mean assuming you do too?” She smiled nervously.

“Yeah, I’d like to.” He kissed her. “Let’s talk details tonight?”

“Okay,” she smiled, “I’m finished with all my work, what should the three of us do for the next few hours?”

“I think Ophelia mentioned to watch the latest Disney film her godfather picked up.”

“Oh really? That sounds doable.” He picked up their plates and everything from lunch and put them in the sink, while Veronica took Ophelia out of her chair. Sweet Pea was lying to himself if seeing Veronica with a baby didn’t tug at his heart. He set up the dvd and they all snuggled onto the couch. Veronica laid with Ophelia on her chest and her feet on Sweet Pea’s lap. Ophelia rolled around before sitting and reaching for Sweet Pea. She snuggled her face into the crook of his neck and grasping his tshirt. “I guess what they is true.” Veronica piped up.

“What’s that?”

“There’s nothing sexier than a man with a baby.” He laughed and attempted a seductive wink. Ophelia stayed put while the couple watched the film.

“Seriously, the chimney?” Sweet Pea loud whispered, and shook his head.

“The squirrel can’t win.” Veronica laughed. “I’m getting a little too into this.”

“I think it’s cute.”

“I think I could get used to this. You, me, baby and animated children’s films.”

“It's not going to be this easy. Ophelia is rare.”

“I know, but still.” He beckoned her with his hand and puckered his lips. She sat up and kissed him and snuggled into his side. They stayed that way for the remainder of the film. They were watching the special features per Sweets request when Betty and Jughead called out. The couple found them in the living room.

“Well isn’t this a sight.” Betty gushed.

“She’s an absolute angel.” Veronica told her. “Did you guys find anything you liked?”

“Oh my god, let me show you these two we looked at that I loved!” Veronica stood up and together they headed towards the kitchen. Jughead sat beside him.

“How awful was it?” Sweet Pea asked. Jug just looked him. “That bad huh?

“It was so boring. Betty knows what she wants and such. I told her all I want is an office. She suddenly knows all these wood types, and colors, and types of houses like cape cod and ranch and colonial. And i’m standing there like wood is wood - how can tell if its oak or maple or cedar or whatever.” Sweet Pea laughed.

“I Tivo’d the latest Criminal Minds, you want to watch?”

“Fuck yes. I’m so sick of HGTV. Did you know there is an entire show dedicated to people buying tiny houses?”

“What’s a tiny house?

“You don’t want to know.” They settled in, Veronica bringing them each out a beer and a bag of chips before returning to Betty. “Have you seen the latest development on the golden gate killer case?” Sweets asked.

“Yeah! I can’t believe they finally caught the guy - a cop no less. You have to listen to this new true crime podcast I found - I think you’ll like it. I want to incorporate some of the banter they have into my next novel.”

“I’ll have to check it out. I liked the other you found - the Australian one.” Sweet Pea couldn’t but think maybe someday soon, there’d two babies hanging out with their dad’s watching crime tv.

[aircoil50]

Looking for Inventive Specs in Today's Cell Phones

In the event this year’s front runner cellphones have made anything at all crystal clear, it’s that just about every mobile phone in our pant pockets is very dull. Every single mobile phone is expensive. Just about every gadget is powerful. Every single mobile phone provides a nice display screen and an impressive camera. Phone creativity has come to slow crawl. Important sector players are scrambling to justify the every year enhancements they’ve, devoted almost 10 years normalizing. Women and men are transitioning less than previously. We are hearing rumours that we’ve hit top smart phone. Every that’s still left are software and environments related to the cell phones. Apple’s most innovative iPhone XS launched distinctive features like Smart HDR and adjustable depth options. Google’s -pixel 3 touts Top Shots, Super Move, and contact screening. Samsung’s devices have raw gaming power and Huawei targets trendy technology.

High priced components have sprung up as a side-effect of the increasing difficulty of selling smartphones on their own. For your Apple iPhone, you’d better obtain the AirPods. Oh, yet don’t forget the Pixel Stand, the HomePod, and the House Hub for your Google Pixel 3. What about the Samsung Equipment VR or super fast Charge Cordless Charging Stand? There’s also the Huawei EnVizion 360 Camera or maybe the Moonlight Selfie Stick,  who can live with no those? There is a reason 2018 is the time of new form factors, giant screens, color choices, and quirky notch-based methods to stretch the screen. All of these are fancy upgrade lure for regular people still keeping onto their old mobile phones. None of that is poor, necessarily. Dull or boring smartphones are a testament to their utility and pervasiveness. The pcs within our pockets are becoming better at lasting much longer. The environment  and your budget gains when you hold on your phone longer. Soon after ten years of the first mobile phone (iPhone) release, the equipment parts of mobile phones have at last swept up with the program’s capability.

The annual new product (phone) discharge from each and every phone machine can't exhibit any amazing mysterious feelings and are not able to create an excessive amount of excitements for customers to imagine. In the early times of the mobile phone, software was waiting for hardware to accelerate in order to enjoy in the same recreation space to make gadgets better. Immediately after 10 years of the first mobile phone (iPhone) inception, the hardware components of mobile phones have finally caught up with all the software’s capability. Therefore , it runs quicker and better. Also, all of the magical tricks that software program can give to hardware are starting to be given to most of the mobile phones from mid-range to the high-end devices. The yearly cool product (smartphone) discharge from every single smartphone manufacturer cannot exude any remarkable magical feelings and are unable to create too much excitements can be to expect. Generally there isn’t any revolutionary “the next big thing” is present anymore. Every single product discharge has been an pregressive hardware update or, even, simply a software refinement or trick. As we mentioned that the hardware advancements together with the software improvements on the mobile phone turf allow leading mobile platforms blend in the middle of the road in a sense. iOS has been ruling in the high-end mobile phone segment and the hippie circle as well as fashion target segmentations despite the fact it was missing in features (hardware) and capabilities (software) in the early days. Android has been thriving across the most segments thanks to its technique similar to the early days of the computer vs Mac pc war period. Although google android has been acquiring market shares all across segments, it fails to really enter into the core high-end gadget users. Of course, those end users buy and try range topping android mobile phones but they do not use google android phones as their daily drivers. Worse, they used android telephones because their beloved iPhones could not do a handful of certain items that google android gadgets can do. Right now, what google android has, hardware-wise, iPhone has as well. All of the advanced equipment enabled the application to factors all the benefits that android phones got but iPhone didn’t into both systems products. iPhone owners are no longer needing to bring an android telephone for a handful of features only android phones have. For android users, iPhone has turn into a lot more like its two brothers and sisters not only they alike yet act alike (gesture control on each of those devices). The mobile phone war is over to the eye of consumers because it is not important which system they select, the shifting cost is getting cut to a minimum. Usually the ones who suffer are the businesses that produce the device. Mobile phone earnings are decreasing, and companies like Apple almost specifically count on that revenue to pad their particular balances. To make on with the slow down, price ranges are gradually sneaking upward. You can view this change in technology corporations’ keynotes. Once eagerly awaited (and reported), these notifications are barely holding onto their viewers. Instead of concentrating on how insane that new camera is, notifications describe how augmented reality can make bouncing blobs hang-out in your living space, or enhance your photos following the fact, or maybe the way your mobile phone interacts with you via tone of voice, and so on. They are about functionality bumps, other features, or other software-based additions. Probably some of all of them will matter, but the majority would not. All of them point to one thing: the end from the smartphone wars. I do not believe there’s an additional big revolution around the corner, simply arguing more than notches, camera lenses, and several other banalities that are little intended for the end user. Ten years following the launch of Apple’s iPhone, you'll find killer hardware anywhere you appear. Do you miss the old days any time a subsidy iPhone only cost us regarding 99 dollars or the priciest one was only $399? We perform miss those times. However , all those good old times were over for a while (thanks to T-Mobile); in the present day, an mid-range smartphone will run you as much as the premium devices used to cost you during the smartphone subsidy model period. If you want to get a flagship gadget from idol brands such as Samsung, Goggle and Apple, you’d better get around $1,000 USD cash ready for these devices. Sometimes from self-proclaimed "Flagship killer" names including OnePlus and Xiaomi, the cost of gadgets from those companies are about $600 USD. It is a small fortune to trim from potential customers to get only a minimal update device compared with the model a season in the past. Even as we referred to that mobile phone market previously reached the grown-up stage in terms of the hardware plus software enhancements from about 2 years ago. The annual cool product release is just a minor equipment upgrade along with software marketing tips. Then again, it’s another one thousand bucks purchase if you opt to update your mobile phone. For that reason, we now have our marks to give to determine if you should update your device every 12 months or not. In case you are a parent and you take tons of photos of your child then . You ought to upgrade your smart phone each year. Keep in mind, the give-in the following is that we imagine 1000 dollars won’t break your bank. Really, it’s not because of the photo or video clips characteristics are going to be totally distinctive in case you upgrade your cellphone. It may be the emotional feeling that if you don’t own it, you would not grab the best of it when you take photographs or movies of the kids. That thought can actually make a huge impact on some couples’ thoughts. For this reason, in case you are a parent, you ought to consider to do so. If you don't take a lot of videos and pics, in that case there is no rush to pay for the most recent smart phone. You should not look at upgrading your mobile phones every year even though you have the funds to do so. Seriously, why throw away $1,000 USD to pay for a telephone with some photograph upgrades that you cannot even see? Or pay one thousand us dollar bills to upgrade your telephone to get a different design of display (top notch or a little bit more curved)? Honestly, it is best to just use that 1000 bucks looking after yourself for something better such as a trip to Las Vegas just for the holiday weekend or just to visit a very good cafe for a night. You really will not care the between the new iPhone and the iPhone you simply bought 12 months ago in case you aren’t the lover of the smart phone. Therefore … why do so? Because of this, the decision seriously goes down to the mind of users. In the event you psychologically will feel you are in an inferior placement if you do not have a most current cell phone in hands, you must fork out the cash and move forward and upgrade your gadget. If not really, you ought to happily make use of that one thousand dollars someplace else. If you mentally will feel you are within an second-rate position if you don’t possess a most up to date cell phone in your pocket, you should spend the money and just proceed and update your device What we’re experiencing now is an ecosystem clash. What happens next is anyone’s guess, and I suspect it is about to get crazy,  though not inherently significantly more wonderful.

[nerdymedzebra]

Round up of my mentions of MCAS reactions

“ Escape to the mountains for breathable air! I know grass makes my throat swell up and my chest get tight, but but I've not known what my other triggers are. Til recently. I downloaded the weather Channel app on my phone and now it alerts me during Ozone Action/Warning Days, and woops, they match up with my swelling, too. So this weekend I saw that the grass pollen was high AND it was an ozone action day, and tho I hate using the car on such days, my house apparently doesn't protect me from bad air (and I sure as heck can't afford an air purifier) so I just needed to escape. Picture 2 is just outside of Boulder, where I live, and my throat was already swelling up before we made it out of the area. But by the time we got into the mountains, it was calming down again.thank goodness! And TG for accessible overlooks, like in Pics 1 & 3! No hiking required to see prettiness. :) “

“ Whoa there, face. You look like you've been outside in the cold for an hour.. But I haven't left my couch all day! It's hard to get with this annoying portrait filter I can't turn off, but you can see the diff between my face and neck. I usually look much more pallid and anemic! ) I always say I have very little skin involvement with#MCAS (and I've only had hives once in my life) but I wonder how much of that is true and how much is just me not putting two and two together before. Like, my face has felt hot all day, I used to call this "fevering", but I've recently realized it's only my face that's hot and red, so it's prolly MCAS flushing, not a fever at all. Which is interesting that before I had an app for it, the only way I knew I was about to start my period is that I'd get one of these "fevers" for an hour or two the night before! I must be reactive to one of my own gd hormones. 😅😅😅 Yup, sounds like an MCAS thing! As I'm on my period now, (tho I don't think I usually am flushed at this poiny/for this long) and my stomach still feels full of good from yesterday, and who knows what else, but maybe I'm just reacting to a bunch of stuff. My face is redder irl, and I startled myself a few minutes ago when I went to the bathroom and saw my face. I've NEVER seen it this red while just sitting around the house! “

“ Oops I ate an often-trigger food without tacking my Cromolyn first. :( I feel like I have a fever and my belly is angeryyyy. Sighhh. “

MCAS & Cromolyn

(Jan 2019)

#MCAS: where normal food can make you shiver violently while your face blazes and your stomach thinks it's been poisoned.

Woops forgot to take my Cromolyn Sodium before eating. ☹️😷😱☠️

Also, this is what it looks like. Supposed to take 2 viles 4x a day, but I have yet to remember all 4 even once. :-x

Edit 1 hour later: my stomach and face have calmed down, but now my heart rate Is in the 130s as I'm laying here, and I feel like if I open my mouth I'll be like a megaphone and the sound of my speeding, thumping heart would loudly reverberate through the house.. It honest to God feels like my heart has grown wings and is violently trying to escape my chest.

“ Ok you can't really tell here, but my face is rosy. I'm wondering if these random few-hour "fevers" I've always gotten are really jus t flushing? Does your face feel warm and tight and similar to when your fevering when you're flushing from #MCAS? Or Allergies? We are house sitting a doggo, but I'm allergic, and I'm feeling it way more than I have before when we've watched him! Waaah. "I need vogmask, but for my eyes!" Me, earlier. “

“ Wait, what?! I react to freshly cut grass exactly the same in all months. Could it really be from different things?! Although maybe I do react differently. I feel wayyy itchier lately and maybe less swollen sinus cavity & throat, but I've only recent started noticing how itchy I get when I'm walking outside, particularly if I'm sweating even minutely, which could mean it's started up recently, or not. Adhd makes it so hard to keep track of symptoms :( :/ Fwiw, I think the same allergy test that told me I was allergic to grass said mold as well... 🤔 This post brought to you by my overwhelming need to scratch all my skin off. (Also my skin doesn't seem to really turn red til I scratch it, then it gets v angry btw). #allergy #GrassAllergy “

“ Ugh, motility issues are more than just delayed!! My psych had me request a emptying study from my GI to check for RAPID emptying (bc my meds don't work if I eat with them and she needs the results for dose adjustments) but this report is clearly looking only for delayed. Now, I sometimes do experience delayed for a few days a month, but I don't mind it much, it's the rapid that screws with my meds and makes it risky to eat at a restaurant without hanging around a half hour afterwards in case I have to run to the bathroom (in those cases my dysautonomia (and pain) also flares while my stomach is emptying, then I seem to get hit with reactive hypoglycemia or whatever it's called. Ugh.) Nausea is only a small symptom a few times a month, max, yet it is THE symptom on this test. Annoying. As I said day-of, my stomach was behaving that day, so I'm not surprised it was normal, but from the penciled in average emptying time I found, it does suggest that even when it's not acting up, it is a bit faster than normal. “

“Post treadmill stress test dinner. Vegan Pad Thai. It's been almost two hours and my muscles are still goop and I'm still extra shakey. My body did not approve. I'm surprised I made it a whole 5 minutes tho, tbh. “

“ Reverse progression of my chest today. I just now took the first picture. I removed the electrodes 6 hours ago, and boy, my body still wants it to be known that, I guess the gel that was over the round electrode itself, And to a lesser extent, the sticky stuff, was v annoying. When I first took the Holter monitor off, it was really only red on the circle bits, and where I'd been scratching (see pic 3). But then once they were off, I scratched a bunch because OMG, and that left me super red itself (pic 2) now where the sticky bits were seem red too. Is this normal, or allergies or mast cell (I've never been tested for it, but I think I should be) or what. 6 hours seems a long time to still be so red! “

Gastro follow up: Endoscopy, MCAS talk!

(Apr 2018)

During the appointment I told her that I had less rapid gastric emptying than I had been before, but more constipation and fullness-- but especially BLOATING.

I don't think I fully realized how frequently I have the sensation of bloating or stomach discomfort, because, I have noticed, when I experience it, I instinctively... eat... MORE. Especially crappy foods that frequently cause the rapid gastric emptying symptoms. That makes sense, but it's interesting to realize since I was doing it pretty unconsciously! But it hasn't been super helpful lately AND I've gained 10lbs in the last month alone! (after having gained 30+lbs in the ~8 months prior!)

And finally, I told her that I had been reading up on Mast Cell Activation Syndrome/Disease lately and it's fairly likely that I have it, and it seems to have a huge effect on the GI system. Surprisingly, her eyes widened a bit and she said that, in fact, she had just been to a conference this weekend, and they talked about Mast Cells as a cause of Functional GI Disorders! So, she said she will read up more on MCAS & EDS/HSD and how they influence the GI system.

[girlsbtrs]

GBTRS Advice: What to Bring on Tour

Congrats, you’re going on tour! Before you leave, make sure you have everything you need to be your best possible self, all tour long.

Clothes

You’ll want to pack enough clothing to last you around 7-10 days. Any more, and it’ll take up too much space. Any less, and you might get stuck wearing dirty clothes for awhile. Here’s what you need:

Socks and underwear. (Pack extra!)

1 or 2 good pairs of shoes. (If you’re getting new ones, make sure to break them in early enough)

Something comfy to sleep in,

Pants: Try to only bring a few pairs. Make sure they’re ones that you can wear multiple times between washes (like jeans), and also bring something comfy (like leggings).

Shirts: The weather will play a role in what type of shirts you’ll need. If you're going to be in hot places, T-shirts and tank tops should make up most of your wardrobe (but bring something warm just in case). If you’ll be somewhere cooler, consider bringing mostly long sleeves, or short sleeves and a jacket. For longer tours or those that pass through multiple climates, bring clothing that’s easily layered and can be mixed and matched.

Keep in mind: black is the best color for hiding stains!

Personal Care

These are some of the most important but often forgotten items you should bring! Don't put yourself in a predicament, running to the store at an odd hour for one of these things:

Earplugs: Trust me, you need these. They’re good both for falling sleep around other people, and for making sure you don’t lose your hearing at a young age.

Hairbrush, hair ties, and any other hair-care items you need.

Chapstick: Even if your lips “never get chapped,” you don't want your first time to be on tour.

Baby wipes. (It’s like a shower-in-a-can)

Washcloths: Also good for the above purpose and for a quick face-washing

Toothbrush and toothpaste: Bring an extra set just in case someone forgets or you leave yours behind somewhere!

Deodorant.

Bath towel: Good for the rare occasion you can shower if you’re in a van and not staying at a hotel.

Toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, soap).

Razors, if you need them.

Dry shampoo.

Tiny first aid/emergency kit: Bandaids, neosporin, melatonin, ibuprofen (or other pain medication), tweezers, something for upset stomachs, any other medication you might need.

Tampons/pads, if you or someone may need these.

Nail clippers: Good to have on longer tours, especially if you play an instrument where it helps to have short nails.

Vitamin C (and any other vitamins you need).

Medication.

Sunscreen: Even if you don’t usually burn, it’s still a good idea to protect yourself from the sun if you’ll be out and about somewhere where the sun is lurking. (Even if it’s cold, remember that the sun can reflect off sand and snow!)

Makeup (and makeup remover).

Contacts (and solution/storage). (Bring extra if you can.)

Anything else that’s part of your daily routine: Mentally walk through your daily morning and evening care routines, and see if there’s anything you absolutely need that isn’t already listed.

Convenience and Comfort

These aren’t necessarily needs, but you’ll definitely be better off with them than without!

Portable charger: Once you get one of these, you’ll never want to go anywhere without one.

A power inverter for the car: At the very least, you’ll want to be able to charge your phone while on the move. You can also get an inverter that turns your car port into a regular outlet, which can be super handy for charging laptops, camera batteries, or anything else that doesn’t charge from USB.

Extra chargers: Odds are that you or someone else will lose or break a charger along the way, so do everyone a favor and bring at least one extra to avoid a last-minute stop.

Pillow: Sleep is good, need I say more?

Eye mask: See above.

Reusable water bottle: Hydrate or die-drate. If you’re worried about tap water, find an option with a built-in filter.

Snacks: Always good to have food options on-hand. Do your best to bring healthy/nutrient-dense options, like trail mix (mixed nuts, raisins, maybe a lil chocolate), peanut butter, or even baby carrots if you have a cooler.

Trial-size laundry detergent: Worst-case scenario, you might have to wash your clothes in a sink. Use a bit of detergent, swish things around, and then squeeze it out and hang dry. Everything should be dry by morning except for jeans!

Shower shoes: Just in case - you don't know what's been in there.

Blankets: If it’s cold at night and you might be sleeping in your vehicle, make sure you have enough blankets to keep you all warm!

Hand sanitizer: Avoid getting sick from dirty doorknobs and handshakes.

Dryer sheets: Keep a few in your suitcase to keep your clothes smelling as fresh as possible.

Plastic bags: Both grocery bags and zipping bags can be useful for a variety of things - collecting waste, storing dirty clothes, compacting clothes for storage, etc.

Toilet paper: Just in case.

Sewing kit.

Extra headphones/earbuds.

Backpack/drawstring bag: Good for keeping all of the items you need on a daily basis organized and easily accessible. Also good for grab-and-go situations, like running to the shower.

Going abroad?

If you’re going to a different country, there’s quite a few more things you’ll be needing:

Passport: Obvious, but don’t leave home without it.

Universal adapter: If you’ll be going somewhere with different outlets, don’t get caught off guard. Check ahead of time to see if you’ll need an adapter, and, if so, which type. Consider investing in an adapter kit if you’re planning to take on the world.

International data: Maybe you’ll need a new SIM card, or maybe your cell plan covers travel! Either way, make sure you’ll be able to stay connected while abroad.

Foreign currency: Always good to keep some cash on hand in the local currency. Also, make sure you know ahead of time whether you’ll be hit with foreign transaction fees with your card, as those are definitely not a fun surprise.

Tourist pouch: A fanny pack is always a good option, but also consider an option that holds your valuables closer to your personhood (they might be a bit more fashionable/less noticeable too).

Anything you need for your job

This one is a bit open-ended, since each position on a tour is different, but here’s a few things to get you started:

Photographers:

Camera (duh

Extra SD card

Extra camera battery

Battery charger

Laptop (for editing)

Laptop charger (and possibly car charger-adapter)

Lenses for low light (there’s always one venue that’s super dark for no reason)

Merch:

Plastic bins

Credit card reader

Sharpies

Cash box (or other secure storage place for money)

Fanny pack (good to hold everything you may need)

Extra cash for change

Laminated stickies or masking tape for prices

Something to display merch with (not every venue will have a rack, if that’s how you like to display merch)

Clips/hangers (to help hang merch up for display)

Something to help you keep track of what you’ve sold/inventory

Artists: 

Stage clothes: If there’s something specific you like to wear on stage, make sure to bring it! If you’re trying to coordinate a look, make sure everyone in the group knows what’s up.

Gear: You probably know what you need, but make sure you have it. Always bring extra cables if you can, as well as extra strings/sticks/picks. Better to have extra than to be short.

Other suggestions for that possibly-mythical extra space:

Extra pillow case: not a need, but definitely nice to have, especially if you’re prone to greasy skin or will be away for more than a week or two

Portable steamer: If you want to keep your clothes looking fresh, you can get a small steamer to bring with you and help keep your wardrobe wrinkle-free.

Air mattress/sleeping bag/bedding items: If you’re going to be sleeping on floors, and you have some extra space in the van, bring something to make your sleep a little more comfortable. Air mattresses that aren’t too loud are a good option, as are sleeping bags, and (my personal favorite portable sleep option) foam mattress toppers.

Film camera: Always fun to get some good pics throughout your travels!

Your confidence

You got this! If you’re going on a tour, that means that the world knows you're ready. Hopefully you’ve got everything you need to take the road by storm, but if you happen to forget something, it’s not the end of the world. Stay calm, and have fun!

- article by Stevie Priller

[allofbeercom]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Murder On The AYTO Express

HELLO AND WELCOME to without a doubt the most lit episode in history with the most fucking braindead bunch of degenerate fuckpoles you’ve ever seen. Seriously, the casting this season is A-1. And by A-1, I mean that half of these castmates will probably end up in jail one day.

As someone who thrives on the drama of others appreciates good reality TV, this episode brought me more joy than I could have hoped, and I actually learned a thing or two in the process. For instance, did you know that behind the creatures that live on Geles’ eyelashes, there is actually a genuinely fucking insane monster-woman?

Also, in exciting news and by request, my betchy Jewish mom has decided to return the world of and I’ll be featuring some of her commentary. This show is such a great bonding experience for us because I can consistently say “see mom, I at least I’m not throwing bananas at people on National TV” and honestly, I think that’s all a parent really wants to hear from their kid <3

AFTER THE MATCH UP CEREMONY

They got 4 beams and party like crazy, because nothing is more exciting than being drastically behind in life.

Keith celebrates by lifting weights in overalls, and watching him do so is as close as I’ll ever get to the Midwest. He’s talking to Alexis about how the best way to handle not being a perfect match is to have a threesome with whomever their perfect match actually is. Alexis is like “seems like a legit solution” and this kids, is why our country is in shambles. 

They both eventually promise not to hook up with their perfect match. Psh, sure, Jan.

Kareem and Alivia are considering pulling their heads out of their asses and accepting the fact that they are almost certainly a no-match. Alivia is like “Keith is literally what I asked for in this game” and it’s like, soooooooo, wanna tell us what you’re doing with poor man’s mobster over there?

THE CHALLENGE

Keyana apparently got way too lit while celebrating and sprained her foot. Because it’s Keyana and the only athletic thing she’s ever done in her life is run in whatever direction Michael is in, she is in crutches with a full fucking cast. *cough, cough* pussy *cough*

It’s officially the best challenge of the year: The exes are hereeeeee! And hey, there is Taylor from last season? Hun, if you wanted another 15 minutes of fame, shoot for the stars and audition for . 

Apparently she’s Joe’s ex and color me shocked. I honestly never pegged Taylor as Joe’s type (and vice-versa) but I think it’s so cute that they can cut costs and share hair products. Lord knows everyone from season five needs to save as much money as possible.

The game is speed dating like and the castmates have to hang out with their ex while other castmates come and interview them. One time my boyfriend and I saw my ex at a bagel shop and I legit hid behind a trashcan, so honestly I’m cringing forever.

Here’s a couple things about the exes (sorry, you’re not safe from this either):

UCHE’S EX: My mom and I both agree that either she met him at Church or she helped him when he had fallen and couldn’t get up. Seriously, how old is this dude?

SHAD’S EX: If Shad was as good of a boyfriend as she said he was, he should have kindly pointed her to the nearest hair salon.

CLINTON’S EX: Poor girl got the fucking FBI shakedown from Uche, but I don’t trust anyone who calls fooling around “sexual encounters.” Who let the narc on this show?

DD’S EX: Is from her junior year of high school. Damn, the desperation levels are strong with this one.

MICHAEL’S EX: Looks like she probably has the personality of cardboard. So very obviously still into Michael, which makes me think she probably has the brain cells to match her shining personality.

MALCOLM’S EX: “Well… she’s not what I expected.” – Mom. That’s putting it kindly.

MY FACE LOOKING AT MALCOLM’S EX:

ANYWAYS, Geles and Taylor seem to be hitting it off in the way only two fame-hungry, moderately hot girls can: fucking screaming at each other over a dude with a man bun and chipmunk teeth. It’s not a good look for Taylor, but as the professional drama expert here at Betches (please see my LinkedIn for more), I’m putting my money down that Geles probably came in more crooked than her left eyelash atm.

As they continue to insult each other, I realize this might be the fight I never knew I needed? TBH watching people sink to their low really has got me thriving. Either way, putting on my expert hat again, editing is a fickle bitch and I’m going to explore the ever-loving fuck out of Twitter (or employ the detectives on the AYTO subreddit) to find out EXACTLY what happened.

Oh also, I forgot to mention that Shad apparently lasts for like, three seconds in bed. Just a heads up!

Overall, Keith and Alexis win the challenge. Say what you will about these redneck trash bags, but those fuckers know how to win. Take notes, Democratic Party. Anyways, Keith picks Alivia. Alexis, in a form of petty that is honestly inspiring, picks Kareem.

MOM: Alexis and Kareem need to reroute their date to the nearest asylum. 

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Anthony decides DD might be his match and wants to get to know her better. Cute, stupid Anthony. Anyways, he sets up a drinking/20 questions game on the balcony of the boom boom room.

Malcolm, the perpetual cheater, gets super mad that they even looked in the direction of the boom boom room and is like “WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE BOOM BOOM ROOM!” Of course, in a move that MTV def made happen was exceptionally dramatic, he runs and tells Geles too.

Geles is like “DD is easy and I want to throw her down a flight of stairs.” Well that’s not cause for alarm. Maybe Kareem and Geles should give love a shot. Also, that’s pretty tough talk coming from a girl who is like 85% silicone. DD would beat some ass, so I’m pretty excited about this possibility.

What’s even worse is that this game Anthony and DD are playing is totally innocent. He even asks her if he can kiss her and she says that “she has too much respect for Malcolm to do that.”

Meanwhile, in probable-domestic-violence land, Alivia tells Keith that Kareem is like pushing her away by being the most controlling and shitty human ever. Huh, what a weird concept.

She tells Keith that she’s afraid of Kareem and Keith’s like “I’m not afraid of Kareem.” Okay, so suddenly the whole fanbase (me, the subreddit and six teenage girls in Brazil) want to fuck Keith. This episode has so many twists.

Keith and Alivia start kissing and Alivia immediately does what she ALWAYS does and runs her ass to Kareem to tell him. She’s like “I’m sorry, I wanted to be honest.” Whoever told you honesty is the best policy was seriously disturbed. Of course, Kareem feels so betrayed, which is crazy because I didn’t know psychopaths could feel any emotion.

When DD leaves the date with Anthony, Malcolm immediately calls her a “dick rider.” Which would be okay if you were starring in a superhero porno, but otherwise it’s like, the most insulting shit I have ever heard. DD rightfully flips out because that’s just like, the rules of feminism.

MOM: Well, this explains his ex. — That’s like, way harsh Tai. REAL PIC OF MY MOM AND I:

THE DATE

They go to a palm reading and tarot cards reading date. Really MTV, y’all take Kareem’s and Alexis’ crazy asses into a witch shop? This is the lamest episode of ever.

Alexis is like “I’m super into witchcraft” and I’m honestly afraid for Keith rn. She’s got little white bread voodoo dolls in her eyes.

Alivia and Keith have a pretty real chemistry so they start making out again, obviously. Nothing gets Keith’s dick harder than the fact it’s probably going to be chopped off by Alexis within the next few hours.

Kareem and Alexis, meanwhile, are bonding over their shared mental instability. Kareem decides to tell Alexis about Keith and Alivia’s kiss and they rile each other up faster than a Disney Channel movie basketball team hearing an inspiring speech in the locker room at halftime.

They are like “just because we fucked up and did the same thing doesn’t mean that anyone else can!” Republicans have the weirdest logic.

Alexis and Kareem do the mature thing and confront Keith and Alivia on their date. Alexis yells at Keith for not telling her and how they agreed not to hook up with their matches. Keith is stuck in the age-old predicament where he tries to decipher what “hooking up” means.

Alexis thinks it’s a kiss and Keith thinks it’s anal. Tale as old as time.

If you think Alexis is crazy, Kareem is like, hold my beer. He’s hitting shit and yelling at Alivia while Keith stares on, wondering how this dude escaped his padded cell. Of course, Kareem has to fucking throw a table at Alivia and now MTV brings in producers, because maybe, just they have a problem here.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

The only thing I have seen Geles do in this house is shit talk, apply makeup and pine over a very average-looking dude named Anthony. Geles is basically every sorority sister I have ever had.

Geles and Malcolm team up to belittle DD for doing nothing wrong, and DD is not having it. She and Audrey start yelling back at Malcolm/Geles and it’s a mess.

TYLER: I hate this place, but it’s great.


ME AND MY MOM: #tru

TRUTH BOOTH

DD and Anthony explain exactly what happened and Malcolm is like “everyone knows what happens in the boom boom room.” Everyone knows there is money in the banana stand.

Terrence J is like, “you know the boom boom room is like, the only room with a door, right? Maybe they just wanted to get away for a second.” Malcolm acts like someone just explained quantum physics to him.

This show should just be called “twentysomethings considering basic concepts.”

Nurys and DD, bonded over the fact that Malcolm ain’t shit, make up and become friends. There is no stronger friendship than one bonded through mutual hate. That’s like, the only friends I have.

Keith word vomits that he and Alivia kissed again and of course Alexis and Kareem flip the fuck out.

Alexis tells Keith “to go die” and is two seconds away from asking her murderer cousin for a repeat performance. Terrence J is like “damn that’s harsh”, which is a weird way of saying “YOU ARE A FUCKING CRAZY PERSON.”

Alivia calls out the hypocrisy of this whole thing and tells the house about Kareem throwing a table and everyone in the house is like “what, Kareem?! No way!”

Shad’s like “hey, if I was a girl I would not want him to be my perfect match.” As a girl I also want sex to last longer than two seconds, but sometimes dreams are meant for when we are sleeping.

Zoe is like “I thought Kareem was my match but he’s getting a little too domestic violence-y for me.” Oh, did you not tell the matchmakers you wanted that?

MY MOM: You know poor Alivia’s mother is somewhere praying on her rosary that Kareem is not her match.

Kareem stands up, starts yelling, and leaves the room. He swears that Keith and Alivia are not a match and now he hates Alivia and is going to start the smallest chapter of the He-Man-Woman-Haters Club in the boom boom room.

Of course, Keith and Alivia go to the Truth Booth. They like, want this to help them win the money, but more importantly they want this so they can tell Kareem to take his perfectly sculpted facial hair and fuck right off.

The episode is about to end, and if it ends on a cliffhanger I will throw my laptop across the room. Kareem is obviously affecting me.

Because there is no such thing as happiness on reality TV, they are a NO MATCH. Gotta say, this bummed me out.

Kareem and Alexis start laughing their asses off, while Alivia and Keith make their walk of shame towards two people who legit want to murder them.

MY MOM: Is this going to turn into a murder mystery show? I actually really like that angle. — Your move, MTV.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-murder-on-the-ayto-express/

[visionsando1992-blog]

When it comes to cheating on your girlfriend there are so many different views, some dudes think it’s no big deal, some dudes think it doesn’t count if it’s in a different area code and some dudes swear it’s the worst thing any guy can do. For some reason the dudes that think it’s a crime punishable by death are the same guys that cheat the more than Tiger woods in the playboy mansion. No matter what your stance is if you’re going to cheat then goddammit you better do it right so let go over the “Unwritten Rules for Cheating on your girl.” Rule 1: NO LOCAL CHICKS If you’re going to have some side action then treat it like you’re a Marine, all the missions should be on foreign soil. You never EVER take on a side mission anywhere NEAR headquarters. To many great men have banged the maid and lost it all ..Sorry Arnold. When it’s time to pick a side chick NO DISTANCE is too great 30 miles, 50 miles shit if you could find chicks living on the moon that would be great. You don’t want to be in the mall with your main girl and then like a glitter covered grim reaper here comes that stripper you banged that works at the club 4 miles away from where you live. When looking for a side chick you should in the mind set of the great trail blazers of the past, Lewis and Clark, Hernan Cortez, Captain James T. Kirk  you want uncharted lands. I can guarantee when Christopher Columbus landed the first thing he claimed in the name of Spain wasn’t America …it was a piece of foreign ass. Rule 2: NO REAL DATES Stay focused, you don’t want another girlfriend you want KICK ASS SEX. The moment you start buying birthday gifts and going out dancing the next thing you know you got two girlfriends and that’s basically what the waiting room for Hell looks like. Remember, when it comes to being with your side chick you should treat it like a bank robbery you want to get in and out as fast as possible and leave no evidence. Sleeping over is a NO NO, cuddling is a NO NO; remember you already have a girlfriend and she will give you PLENTY of that bullshit. You’re here at this random chicks house so you can jump off the top rope like Macho Man Randy Savage, hit her with the flying elbow and pin that ass for the 1,2,3. Rule 3: DON’T CHEAT WITH UGLY CHICKS Remember you could get caught and you want to make sure if you do lose your main girl at least you can upgrade to the big titty stripper you have been hanging with. I often feel bad when I see some dude losing his girl that was a solid 10 for the 4 he cheated with. Losing your hot girlfriend because you got caught with some Walmart cashier is like selling your corvette to buy a laminated bus pass. Remember the ugly chick COULD find you in public and no guy wants to be in the mall and hear “BABY” yelled from across the food court only to turn around and there she is Marmaduke running full speed hurdling tables like an Olympic athlete,  her knuckles dragging on the ground as she drops her sack of 50 sliders from white castle just to throw those thigh like arms around you. Now not only are you upset she found you but Mall security threatens to call the police unless you can produce a license for having a wild animal. Rule 4: MAKE SURE SHE IS A FREAK IN THE SHEETS  What’s the point in cheating just to have the same old face to face boring sex your girl gives you. Sex with your girl sucks and you know it, every valentine’s day your girl buys lingerie and thinks that’s a gift …I’m sorry but if simply rewrapping the same old ass I get every day makes it a gift then on Christmas I’m going to take back the bracelet I gave you wrap it again and yell surprise Christmas morning. That’s right Fellas lay out every freaky, dirty, insane awesome thing you have ever wanted to do and if your side chick doesn’t want to do it DROP HER. I don’t care what your into she should do it THAT’S THE POINT OF GETTING WITH HER. I don’t care if you want to stand over her butt naked and deliver the speech from training day, if that’s what you like then jump and yell   “You think you can do this to me IM THE POLICE YOU MUTHAFUCKAS WILL BE PLAYING BASKETBALL IN PELICAN BAY …SHOE PROGRAM” The side chick should ALWAYS BE A TOTAL sex maniac and willing to do it all. I once knew a girl that wanted to dress up in full football pads and be naked from the waist down and actually tackle me before sex. Do you think I did it?? Well let’s just say her ringtone was the Fox Sports football theme. Rule 5: Never give her your real phone number  Get a goddamn prepaid cell phone from the drugstore and you keep that thing hidden like the Taliban hid hostages. Guys always make the mistake of keeping text messages and when their girl goes through their phone AND SHE MOST CERTAINLY WILL they get caught and it’s a massacre. Once every call is made every text is sent ERASE them. You need to treat every picture and text and voicemail like its evidence and imagine your main girl is a CSI detective. Don’t take pictures with your side chick I can guarantee you just became her new Facebook profile pic. When it comes to pictures you should be like bigfoot, every shot should be out of focus, blurry and from far away with no way to positively identify you. When it comes to side chicks they should have a better chance of getting a selfie with Jesus and Santa Clause high fiving than they do of getting a picture with you. Rule 6: Don’t tell ANYBODY Don’t tell anybody not your brother, cousin, Dad, classmates, Co-workers, priest, Jesus, bums, hobos, your imaginary friend NOT ANYBODY because guess what THEY WILL TELL AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON. You have to resist that school girl urge to giggle and tell someone about your conquest but remember it’s going to work against you.  When some dumb ass guy tells his girlfriend who will then undoubtedly tell YOUR GIRL you will see why you NEVER tell anyone! Treat these rules as law gentlemen and your rewards shall be plentiful. Happy Hunting fellas and may the force be with you.