#a new fren or maybe just an acquaintance

[caramelcuniculus]

*autotune baby sound effect* need to roleplay crispin .... :<

[stargazing-enby]

hi, hullo, i'm new on Tumblr (not new "new" but like i was just reblogging before) and i wondered how to make friends ? like i want to talk to people w/ the same fandom as me and make friends ; this sounds so cheesy n random omg but can i ask sum advices? (ps: I rly rly like ur writing♡)

Hi! Thank you 🙈😊 and sorry I took so long to reply—I've been trying to come up with a good reply, but I've just accepted that I'm no online-friendship-expert and can only speak from my own experience. Which is:

- DISCORD. That's where conversations happen! If you're active on a discord server, chances are you'll find someone you get on well with. People ask for betas and alphas and cheerleaders all the time, people bring up random topics and headcanons and prompts for people to add on to all the time... It's awesome 😍

- But servers can get overwhelming and take up too much time/emotional energy, so here's some ways I've become Internet friends (or at least Internet acquaintances) with people through Tumblr:

- I made a personal post about my gender, someone told me they related and we just kept talking (we even met irl!)

- Person messaged me to ask for writing advice, then started randomly sending cute animal posts, aka my greatest weakness. I started sending them back, and we just... kept talking 😂

- Some people reblog from me often and I do from them too. If they also tag me in posts that remind them of me, I immediately consider them my friends, even if we haven't had an actual conversation 😂

- Some people send me nice chain asks or tag me in lovely posts (the "tag 10 people who are awesome" kind); immediately frens.

- I tag people I like in lovely posts/send them cute asks and they start sending them back; omg!!! Frend!

- I commented on someone's amazing fanart and they replied; the conversation just went on. Yay! :D

- I realised I lived close to someone I follow, got excited with them about it — we met irl!

- Some people have reblogged my posts adding tags about how they really like my way of explaining something or of writing, or just saying they admire me, and I'm always like: 😳😳🙈 I'm your friend now. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

- Basically if you reblog/like someone's posts often, chances are they recognise you! So don't be scared to comment on posts they make that you relate to, and if you come across a post that you think they could like, why not share it with them? (maybe that's just me, but I love it when people do that 😂😍) Sending asks off-anon when people are doing ask games (or just randomly) is also a good idea! And you'd be surprised how many people just reach out to chat about headcanons, or asking for beta help, or to collab, or just wanting to say hi!

- One thing I don't recommend is DMing someone saying just "hi" and/or "how are you/what's up"—I don't know about people without anxiety, but I at least need to know where the conversation is going, otherwise I'll feel awkward. Small talk online is too much for me!

[jihoonscafe]

r u m o u r : joshua hong.

Inspiration : Based on K.A.R.D’s comeback Rumour, the lyrics for which are in the bold.

Summary : It seems like she had moved on, but had he?

Word Count : 1,665 words.

dedicated to my lovely wife, @fluffyshua and thanks to @kaori-yuki-chan who helped me proof-read this thing~

Special mentions : special thanks to @nachoshi for making this moodboard for rumor, thank you !!

Someone told me

They saw you recently, oh no

Joshua had never known himself to be so desperate for anything in his life before, nothing at all had made him so desperate as to let his ears perk up at the sound of a name, or to eavesdrop silently if a conversation brought it up, brought you up.

You had made him this way, so desperate, so needy for your love once again, but he knew you weren’t coming back this time, back to him, back home.

And now he sat in front of Seungcheol and Jeonghan as they quietly talked to each other, his headphones plugged in as they spoke, him being painfully aware of the pitying looks they threw his way each time your name escaped their lips, after all they did think that he couldn’t hear, wouldn’t know what had happened.

But he did, his ears had perked up the second the syllables of your name had escaped Seungcheol’s lips and how Jeonghan had panicked, before realising that Joshua had his earphones in, not knowing that they were on the lowest volume possible, that he was not listening to anything than what they were saying.

They said you looked so happy babe

Then I felt strengthless

Apparently the younger ones, Seungkwan and Vernon, had seen you when they had gone wandering around the park the day before, and for a second he breathed again, the air filling his lungs sweet as the thought of you rejoicing on the days you had spent together, kissing on the benches in the park, entered his mind.

But alas, it was only a dream, and as was ironically written on the first sticky note on his laptop, a dream was a wish that the heart had made.

He remembered you typing it up on his laptop after a night of binging on Disney movies, and kissing him, whispering that he was the only wish you had made because he was your dream, your beautiful fantasy, and he had fallen in love right after.

But now it mocked him, mocked his love.

They talked about the way you had looked so happy, walking into one of those coffee shops at the end of the next street, the street where he had first met you, and had sat down, that ever so vibrant smile on your face.

Maybe I hoped you would be unhappy

Are you over me already?

There’s no way.

He could almost imagine you, lounging in the cafe, phone in hand as you browsed one of your social media accounts, wrapped up in a warm coat, your cheeks that pretty shade of pink they always turned in the cold, and your lips, covered in that vanilla chapstick which he had so often tasted.

The image hurt him. More than he had thought it would.

Maybe the sick, twisted part of him had wished that you would be like him, mourning the loss of your gorgeous relationship, wandering the places you both had been to together, imagining him sleeping next to you in the night, imagining that when you woke up, drowsy from your sleep, he would be there to kiss you good morning, as he always had.

Because that is what he did.

That is how he survived from day to day, breathing memories rather than oxygen, living in the broken past.

But now he wondered, had you forgotten him?

"No, no Joshua", he urged himself to believe, he would never give up on you, even if reality was threatening to crush him, his hope.

What do I do? I can’t acknowledge this

How you easily forgot me and are so happy

"She was too happy, Cheol-ah. Look at him, he is crumbling, she looks- looks overjoyed"

Overjoyed? Overjoyed to crush his heart, crush his soul, crush him?

Maybe the boys had seen wrong, yes, they had simply seen wrong. Maybe you were smiling because you missed him, smiling because the shop brought you memories which you both had made, maybe it had been a sad smile.

It’s too cruel, you’re a cruel woman

I never knew this till now, I’ve been deceived

"Cheol, she is moving on"

The words pierced him, left him silently gasping for breath as he doubled over in pain, in actual pain, his eyes tearing up slightly at the sound of those two words.

"He isn’t moving on Cheol, he is stuck"

Jeonghan seemed to say, but Joshua was too deep under water, struggling to breathe as his lungs filled up with water, poison really as it choked him, took away the oxygen from him.

I haven’t forgotten you yet

Whatever I do, your smile won’t get erased

Moved on? What was that supposed to mean?

He had moved on too, he had tried so hard to at least. He had gone on blind dates, had gone to clubs and parties, had even met up with old acquaintances, but everytime he looked at another’s eyes, he was only reminded of your warm ones, the way they used to twinkle when you looked at him, twinkle with pure love.

Everytime he saw a smile, he thought of your bright one which he swore lit up any room once it came out. Everytime he breathed, he thought of you and sometimes he wondered, why couldn’t he just forget?

There’s no way, this doesn’t make sense

I wanna believe that they saw wrong

It’s so hard, pretending to be alright

He wanted to believe that they saw wrong, he knew they saw wrong, what evidence did he have, but something in his heart refused to think you were gone, refuse to leave you because you were what made him feel like himself again.

It was hard pretending to be himself.

It was hard to laugh at the jokes now which otherwise would have had him on the floor, laughing away because on a usual day, you would have been next to him, in his arms as both of you would have laughed, and he would have stared dreamily into your eyes, his heart content in every second of such moments, broken only by the boys throwing something at you both which always never failed to make you flush that bright colour of pink.

It was hard to breathe without the warm and comforting smell of your perfume wafting around the dorms, it was hard to breathe without the minty smell of your new shampoo each time he bathed, it was hard to sleep in his own bed and smell the last hints of you, of your warmth and homely fragrance.

According to my friends

You already found someone new

Will you tell me it’s not too late?

Joshua had the urge to get up and leave, to run away from his conversing friends and keep living in the bubble of hope he had created around himself, to protect himself from the very thought of being gone forever.

But he was so whipped, so very in love that the moment your name left Jeonghan’s lips, he froze back into his seat, his heart beating in anticipation for the next piece of information about you, to know how you were doing, if you were smiling, if you were okay now even if he wasn’t.

"Vernon told me they saw her while coming back too"

"Jeonghan, I-"

"She is dating somebody else now. That boy from her college class who she had told us about once, remember?"

"She used to hate him"

"Now she doesn’t I suppose"

The whole of the conversation ran over his head, and suddenly he was numb again, the world around him broken and distorted, his eyesight fuzzy as his headphones slipped off and his inside began to wither away, his heart utterly broken.

The memory of the tall, black-haired boy came into remembrance, a boy who you had tutored once, once when you had still been in love with him, when you had texted him instead of talking to the lanky boy who he remembered had those sharp dark eyes, and a face which had made Joshua proud that he had been the one to take away your attention so easily from the stunning boy next to you.

Now, he had lost you to the same boy.

Please, give me one more chance

Where U at my love

Where U at my love

He excused himself from the room, giving the excuse of a dying phone when in reality it was him, it was his heart which was dying, dying away with no one to save it.

The second the lock of the bathroom door clicked as he entered it, Joshua sank down to the floor, onto the warm red carpet you and him had bought an year ago at a small shop, a day he still remembered among all others he had spent with you because each and every day with you in it was special, was a story he wanted to remember forever to tell to your children, an opportunity he relaised he would never have now.

With shaking fingers, he opened his messages and scrolled down to yours, tears falling at the last message which was an old and now useless "I love you" from him, one which he noticed you never replied to, like you had always done before.

"Hi, how is life treating you?"

He typed, his finger wavering before it hit the send button and he leaned his head on the door, trying to pull himself together, trying to believe in himself and your love, and not the rumors which flew around him, his phone’s screen gone black, lying on the floor.

The ding of a notification had his eyes flying open as he reached frantically for his phone again and opened it up, smiling at the picture of you and him which was still his background and then looked at his notifications.

One new message from Love of my life 💕

Who is this?

Be sure to give me your thoughts frens~

Tagging some beautiful angels to my trash : @sweetsugars, @aceangel-official, @deleallis, @choco-seventeen