#a million days later and I finally finished the chapter

[bi-panic-at-the-disco]

y’know maybe I should just try to continue working on my fics

[hearts4golbach]

The Night Shift.

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

Chapter 30.

the day before the concert, tara and i spent hours putting together our perfect Falling in Reverse concert outfits. with the two of our closets combined, and with the help of Jake and Johnnies too, but they don't need to know that, we were finally content with what we were going in. clothes were scattered everywhere, but we'd worry about that later.

Tara decided on a mini skirt with 3 different belts that we had found in jakes closet, which she had stacked strategically. she took one of my blinged up hot pink crop tops that i hadn't worn since 8th grade and had that as her top. she threw a fur coat over the top of everything. she threw on her chunky black boots with spikes and a cute pair of leg warmers on to finish the look. she had been planning on the makeup she was going to do for months, but all it was was her usual makeup with pink eyeshadow and eyeliner stars on her cheek.

i ended up wearing [outfit of your choice] and paired it with [makeup of your choice].

johnnies outfit was jaw-dropping. he chose his black lace button up and obviously wore it halfway unbuttoned. he layered about 10 different necklaces and rings. he also decided on wearing a new pair of dark red skinny jeans with his usual black boots. he tied it all together with his leather jacket. for johnnies makeup, he smudged red lipstick under his eyes and streaked black eyeliner down his face.

jakes outfit was just as cunty as the rest of us; he wore a cropped black tank top paired with his favorite pair of flared jeans. he also chose his belt with bullets on it. he decided on not even bringing a jacket with his reason being "he has tattoos for a reason." he also wore platform shoes and an arrangement of bracelets, some i had never seen before. jake decided to wear no makeup to the concert.

tara slept over so it'd be easier for all of us to take the 4 hour drive early in the morning. we had decided to rent a hotel so we could all get fucked up during the concert and not have to worry about driving home when we could just call an uber. all of us were restless that night, but forced ourselves to sleep so we were really ready for the concert.

i woke up the next morning wrapped in johnnies arms, per usual. the alarm was reverberating in my ears as Johnnie was also starting to stir awake. he opened his eyes and squinted them to look at me, a small smile forming on his face. "mornin'." his groggy sleep voice greeted.

"good morning. you excited?" i asked, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. i climbed out of the bed and stretched, making a million different bones in my body crack at once. "we gotta hurry up and take our showers since everyone else needs to, too."

Johnnies eyes scanned over my body. he sighed and propped himself up on his elbow. "do you want to just take a shower together? it'd save time." he smirked, gently squeezing my hand before he began fidgeting with my fingers.

"i like that idea." i placed a gentle kiss on his lips before dragging him out of bed into the bathroom.

i started the shower, making sure it was nice and warm as Johnnie got undressed. i wasn't far behind him, getting undressed myself before stepping into the shower with him. the warm water on my back woke me up as much as it was relaxing. i watched as the water trickled down Johnnies body and seeped into his inked skin. he ran his moist hands down my body and grabbed the body wash. he squirted some into his hands and began to wash my body. he had nothing but admiration in his eyes as they trailed over every part of me. he made sure no part of me was unwashed before going to wash himself. i did the same for him, helping him wash every inch of his pale skin. he shampooed and conditioned my hair, and while i wash washing mine out, he cleaned his own. he kissed me softly, but passionately before turning off the shower and climbing out. he wrapped me up in a soft towel, as well as himself.

we made our way back to our bedroom to pack our 1 day trip bags quickly. i stole johnnies pair of chunky pajama pants to wear on the drive, as well as my Lana Del Rey tee that was beaten up and bruised from all of the use. i packed all of my makeup and my concert outfit. i didn't bother packing an outfit for the second day there since we were leaving and heading home as soon as we got checked out of the hotel. Johnnie packed pretty much the same thing as i did, the only difference being he did pack an outfit for the second day. he threw on a pair of black skinny jeans and a My Chemical Romance tee shirt to wear on the drive there.

there was a small knock on the door before tara's bright voice called out, "you guys up?" we both answered yeah at the same time. she opened the door and greeted me with a hug. "morning!" she greeted excitedly.

i hugged her back tight. "morning, Tar." i heard the shower start from down the hall. "damn, is Jake just now getting in?"

"yeah, it took me, like, 20 minutes to actually get him out of bed. he snoozed his alarm 3 times before i had to go in there and drag him out of bed myself." she sighed, sitting on the bed next to me.

Johnnie shut down his PC so it wasn't wasting electricity while we were away. "well, that's Jake for you."

tara rolled her eyes. "yeah, well, he needs his beauty sleep, anyway."

"did you get your bag fully packed?" i asked, tossing my bag over my shoulder.

"duh, i got everything ready." she smiled.

the three of us moved down to the living room, bringing our bags and everything else we needed with us. Johnnie sprawled himself out over the couch. i made my way into the kitchen and grabbed a bunch of water bottle and a few snacks for the road, putting them in one of my goat bags and setting it with the rest of our shit. Jake ended up joining me in the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"okay, slut." i mumbled under my breath jokingly. i walked back out of the kitchen to join Johnnie on the couch.

"i know you are not talk to me, skank." he snapped his fingers and grabbed his zyns and decaf coffee off of the counter. he threw that shit in the microwave like it was nobody's business. he leaned against the counter and went on his phone.

i rolled my eyes, "is your bag even packed?"

"no," he answered nonchalantly before taking a selfie. i realized later on that he had posted it on his instagram story.

"that's wild that you're worried about your coffee right now, then." i laughed, "what if we're late to see Ronnie?" i over exaggerated.

he pursed his lips, "well, Ronnie can wait for my coffee." he smiled, taking a sip before heading up to his room.

tara had hopped in the shower immediately after jake did. she always took extremely long showers, but she made it quick today.

Jake made his way back downstairs with tara by his side less than 10 minutes later. with all of our bags and shit we needed on hand, we headed out the door.

Johnnie and I climbed into the back seat while jake and tara took the front. tara had music privileges for the first hour of the drive. her music taste was definitely different from mine, but I didn't mind it.

I leaned my head against johnnies shoulder and stared out of the front windshield, watching as all of the buildings and cars sped past. he wrapped his arm around my waist, his hand resting on my hip as he went on his phone to scroll through tiktok. my eyes flickered to his phone, watching as he reposted silly edits of himself, and of me and him, that fans had created.

Jake and tara had begun bickering about her lip smacking that annoyed jake ever so much. I felt johnnies shoulders jiggle, signaling that he was laughing. I quietly laughed along, aswell. they fought like a married couple, sometimes.

I could feel myself becoming drowsy as the car lulled me to sleep. my eyelids felt like bricks. it was way too early in the morning for this, especially when I was in and out of sleep all of last night. I gave in, letting my eyes fall shut as I slowly fell asleep on johnnies shoulder.

I woke up about an hour and a half later. johnnie was now watching Netflix on his phone. tara was passed out in the front seat, and jake was next to her, gently bobbing his head to the slower song playing on the radio. johnnie had felt me stir awake and began to rub my hip gently.

johnnie cleared his throat, "was that a good nap?" he teased.

I stretched my back before placing my head back on his shoulder. "Actually, yeah. your shoulder is a great pillow." I placed a kiss on his cheek, nuzzling my head further into his neck. "we should stop and get breakfast somewhere."

"I second that." jake stuck up one finger before rubbing his tummy. "I could eat a horse pussy right now."

his weird comment made tara finally open her eyes, as she had been stirring for a while. "what a great sentence to wake up to, jake."

he patted her knee, "sorry, sweetie."

we pulled into the closest McDonald's and bought breakfast. jake ate with one hand as he continued to drive, nearly fisting the breakfast sandwiches he had gotten. Jake and I both got coffees and the same breakfast sandwiches, a mcgrittle. we were practically twins at that point. I smiled at johnnie as he happily munched on his breakfast next to me. he smiled back.

by the time we were all done with our breakfast, we were about an hour out from the hotel. jake and tara switched seats since she offered to drive the rest of the way.

the rest of the drive was silent except for the soft music on the radio. I could tell we were all pretty tired from the long drive, and we'd all probably need a nap whenever we got to the hotel. to be fair, the coffee did wake up me and jake, though. honestly, nothing slaps like a good McDonald's coffee with extra creamer this early in the morning.

we had finally made it even earlier than we expected. I climbed out of the car and stretched, cracking my back before grabbing my things out of the car. Jake got the key card for the hotel while we unpacked the car, although there wasn't much to unpack. we brought all of our bags inside and made out way up to the hotel room.

the room was extremely nice. there were two beds, a large window with a beautiful overview of the city, and the usual hotel room accommodations.

I threw myself onto the bed I was claiming for Johnnie and i. I watched as jake filled the mini fridge with water bottles. we all took our concert outfits out of our bags so they wouldn't get wrinkled from staying cramped up for too much longer.

Jake and I ordered lunch from the hotel, although it was a pretty late lunch. the three of us started on our makeup, which influenced jake to actually do his own. he ended up smudging eyeliner in his waterline before calling it a day.

none of us changed into our outfits. we all sat on our respective beds and ate our lunch-dinner while watching some random ghost hunting show on the channel that was already on whenever I had turned on the TV.

before taking another bite, I spoke up. "are we going to leave as soon as we're ready so we don't have to wait in a long ass line to get inside?"

Jake gulped down what he was chewing. "That's what I was thinking, yeah." Tara and Johnnie agreed with him. 

after finishing our food 10 minutes later, we all got changed. I smoothed out my outfit in the mirror.

Johnnie came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "you look great, baby." he smiled, planting a kiss on my cheek.

"thank you," I turned around, hooking my arms behind his neck and kissing his lips softly.

Tara's chunky shoes clumped down the hallway as we made our way to the elevator. "over here sounding like a fucking elephant, damn." jake teased her, gently shoving her shoulder.

she shoved him back harder. "shut up, they're cute!"

Johnnie gripped my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine. I scanned his whole body, admiring how good he looked in his outfit. fuck, he looked hot. I smirked slightly before turning away. a blush was painted across his face as he smiled.

Jake called the Uber as we waited out front of the hotel.

"why did you just now call it? why couldn't you have called the Uber when we were getting ready, it would've been here by now." I scolded, not actually caring, just wanting to complain and annoy jake.

"because I didn't know how long it'd take you ladies to get ready. don't act like I haven't heard the conspiracy theories about girls taking forever to get ready."

"conspiracy theories?" I repeated, "conspiracy theories is wild."

"well, they seem to be true." he crossed his arms, popping his hip out to the side.

"like you don't take 2 hours in the bathroom every morning playing with your hair." I retorted, looking around to see if the Uber was close.

"okay, well, that's different." he rolled his eyes.

"mhm, right."

the Uber arrived eventually. we all piled in the back, pretty much sitting on top of eachother. we were all buzzing with excitement, and we weren't even buzzed yet.

"I think my first goal when we get there is to get a drink," I admitted with a sly smile plastered across my face.

"I second that." Tara was fixing her makeup in her phone camera.

"me too." jake and Johnnie responded in the same tone at the same time.

the 20 minute drive to the stadium felt like a 20 year drive, but I knew that was just the excitement and eagerness getting to me.

whenever we arrived, it took us 30 minutes to get inside, which was much better than it could've been.

we wandered around the stadium, looking for a good bar that had been set up. we ran into 3 before finding one with a good menu compared to the other ones.

we hurriedly ordered our drinks and made our way to our 'seats,' although none of us would be sitting during the actual concert.

we were an hour and a half early, or at least an hour and a half early for the openers. I had high hopes for the concert, I mean, it was a rock, emo, whatever you wanna call it, concert after all.

I sat back in my seat, propping my feet up as I sipped on my drink. to say it was strong would be an understatement, even though I was far from a lightweight.

"wanna try a sip of mine?" johnnie offered, handing me his clear plastic cup.

I gratefully accepted, handing him mine in return. I hummed at the taste of his, "I think I like yours more."

"honestly, me too." he laughed. we ended up trading drinks.

tara took a video of the four of us. "holy shit, falling in reverse!" she screamed over the hundreds of other people in the stadium that were most likely saying the same shit. she ended up posting it on her story.

the openers came on with a bang. smoke covered the stage before a much smaller artist, I wasn't sure of the name, strutted onto the stage.

the crowd cheered, but not as loud as I knew it'd be whenever Ronnie came on.

the small band played 6 different songs, and they were all surprisingly good. they were more of a nu metal band compared to Falling in Reverse. I mean, I wasn't complaining.

the four of us spent majority of that time taking pictures for our Instagrams. I mean, obviously. what else would you expect?

Jake and I were on drink duty. we sped back to the pop up stand and ordered everyone the same drinks they had had before, except me and johnnies were flipped.

we made it back just in time for the openers last song. it was a bug finale, to say the least. the LED screen behind them flashed before everything went dark. the crowd roared with excitement.

we were left in the dark suspensully. i was practically shaking with excitement as i heard the low murmurs of the crowd. the LED screen turned to a dark red moments later.

finally, Ronnie walked out onto the stage with the rest of the band members following. everyone cheered and shouted as they came out on stage. johnnie and jake seemed over the moon with excitement. but, so were me and tara.

Ronnie greeted the crowd, earning a screaming mess of greetings back. he laughed before getting into the very first song.

of course, he had to open with one of his most popular songs, 'The Drug in Me is You.' I knew this song like the back of my hand, just like every other song by him.

I gripped johnnies hands, shaking him as I screamed the lyrics in his face. I was as dramatic as I could possibly get, and he returned the same energy.

Johnnie took out his phone and recorded a snippet of the first song before flipping the camera to us and pulling me in, kissing me on the lips before ending the recording. I knew his fans would eat that shit up whenever he posted it.

we went just as hard for the next few songs before another one of my favorites came on, 'Get Me Out.' I practically screeched whenever I heard the first few words of the song.

to say everyone's hair was a mess at this point in the concert would be an understatement. Me, Johnnie, jake, and tara were sweaty and dirty, but that didn't stop us in any way.

Johnnie gripped my waist tightly as we screamed the lyrics out into the crowd and towards eachother, our energy never fading.

there was a short intermission, which gave me and jake just enough time to run and grab more drinks. to be fair, all of us were pretty drunk at this point in the concert, but who was there to tell us no?

we scrambled back to our seats as we heard the drum rhythm for 'I'm not a Vampire' begin.

I could see johnnie singing the lyrics as he watched the performance on stage. since we were still a bit of a walk away, I took a picture. seeing him in the stadium lighting was heavenly, and he seemed so into the music, it just made for the perfect picture of him. I planned to set it as my lock screen as soon as we got back to the hotel.

there was not much different about the last few songs, except for the fact that I was exhausted and out of breath. I had a feeling I wouldn't have a voice in the morning, either.

as the last chord of the song rang throughout the stadium, Johnnie gripped my waist and kissed me passionately. I reciprocated, kissing him back with the same intensity. he pulled away, his eyes sparkling. "I love you."

my lower lip quivered as I couldn't help but smile. "I love you, too."

[mlm-writer]

Home (Peter Parker x GN!Reader)

Pairing:  Peter Parker (TASM) x Gender Neutral Reader Rating: General Audiences (except for one swear word) Words: 1652 POV: Second Summary: The Big Tober Day 2 - Love Confession Tags: college AU, you're both studying mechanical engineering, Peter is a genius, you're just ken, fluff, kinda cheesy and kissing

It’s always something. You can never have a normal exam week, where you just spend your days in the library surrounded by fellow students, mutually fuelled by caffeine and stress. Supervillain of the week literally burned down the public library and there was an alien spacecraft that crashed into your favourite café. It felt like you still had a million chapters to read and another five thousand words to write for an essay and not to forget that your stupid project partner still has not even opened the Google Slides link you sent them. 

A long sigh, mixed with a frustrated growl left you as you once again couldn’t find a single spot on campus to sit down and study. It was always crowded like this during exam week. If you wanted a good spot, you better come to campus at 6:30am, but who had the energy for that? Fortunately for you, there was a small pebble on the road that led through the fields of yellowed grass between the main building and the main gate. You kicked it as hard as you could, letting all your woes leave you through your foot and into that little rock. It flew forward and - unexpectedly - up. “Oh shit!” You exclaimed as you followed its trajectory with your eyes. It was going straight for someone’s head, but before you could tell the brunet to watch out, he turned around and caught the pebble midair. 

When he was turned around, you recognised him. Out of all people for that pebble to almost hit, it just had to be your crush. “Peter!” You called out to him as you jogged over. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to kick it your way… good catch by the way.” 

Peter held the pebble in his fist and smiled at you; he was so cute when he did that. “Oh hey!” He beamed at you. When you complimented his catch, he hid his hands behind him and avoided eye contact. “Thanks, I got uh… good reflexes.” He cleared his throat and then looked at you. “Already done with studying for the day?”

You let out another frustrated sigh. “Ha! I wish. I came here to study, but it is fuller than a Blackpink concert stadium here. Guess I’ll have to settle for my tiny desk in my shoe-box dorm room.” 

Peter snorted at your comparison. He seemed to want to say something, but he was hesitant about it. “Uh…” You raised your brows at him, awaiting his words. “I just uh… finished my final presentation for the thermodynamics course-”

“Oh how did that go?” “Got an A, but that’s not important-”

“Not important? Bro, you’re kidding, that's great!”

Peter was getting a little red. You liked how humble he was in spite of how smart he was. He was a little awkward, but during presentations, he often had his own flavour of charisma that made you listen instantly. He was good on the eyes too…

“Uhm, thank you… what I wanted to say is uh… I’m going home now to study. My aunt won’t be home until late and you’re free to join me at my dinner table - to study, I mean, but you’re welcome to join for dinner too of course!” 

You kept forgetting Peter still doesn’t live on his own. Sometimes you envied him, sometimes you were happy with your freedom. “Are you sure? That’d be really cool. Studying together is way more fun than on my own anyway. Oh, do you maybe have notes for our material science course that I could borrow?” 

A little later those notes were in front of you as you were seated at Peter’s dinner table. You had never been in his home before, but the Earthy tones and natural lights just made it feel like a home. There was love in the pictures that decorated the place, there was personality in the old books that scattered the house, one of a shelf on the wall, another one next to a vase with flowers, another on the side table by the couch… 

“Here you go!” Peter put a glass of juice next to you. You thanked him with a smile. You did not realise how your warm smile fit right in that room, how it made Peter’s heart leap and his stomach flip upside down. He just sat down across from you like there was nothing going on. 

You managed to concentrate for a good half hour, but after that your eyes drifted up and caught onto a sight that was way better than a schematic drawing of how tension affects different materials. Peter had this cute frown of concentration on his face, a pencil balancing between his lips as he typed something up on his laptop. He abruptly paused and looked straight at you. The change was so sudden; your eyes widened, before you forced them back onto Peter’s notes. Your face felt hot. Peter definitely caught you staring and you had no idea what he thought of it. Did he suspect you fantasised about kissing him whenever he info-dumped on you? Did he know how his smile could light up your whole day? Did he have a clue or was he just that oblivious? Most smart people were.

Suddenly, Peter let his head fall onto the dinner table. “I can’t do this anymore!” He exclaimed. You gave him a worried look, not that he saw it with his face planted in his notes. 

“Wow, I didn’t know even the genius Peter Parker suffered from exam breakdown,” you commented. You genuinely thought Peter thought exams were a breeze. His grades were all exemplary, except that one time he was down with the flu so bad, you didn’t see him for three weeks. 

“That’s not it! I’m-” he lifted his head. He was clearly upset, but as he rose from his seat to walk back and forth along the kitchen counters, he couldn’t put a single sentence together. He had paced the length of his kitchen at least five times, before he spoke up again. “This is so not how I envisioned this going, but I feel like I am gonna burst if I don’t say this now!” He walked over to you and, in an incredible display of strength, turned your chair with you on it to face away from the table. His arms were caging you, holding the back of the old, wooden furniture. “I’m so in love with you and…” He seemed to realise what he said and physically backed up until his back was against the wall. 

You didn’t know what to say. It was hard to believe your ears. You just stared at him in shock as Peter did that thing you adored so much – rattling on like someone who did not prepare enough text to fill up their 30-minutes presentation. “And I don’t need you to feel the same, sorry, that was coming off a little strong, but I mean it. It’s like I’m in pain when I’m around you and I can’t hold you. Wait no that’s cheesy. Is it? I don’t even know, you make me wanna say cheesy stuff!” Peter was suddenly very interested in the couch in the living room, his eyes never leaving it as more words poured uncontrollably from his mouth. “When you look at me all my instincts are telling me you feel the same, but it could be wishful thinking, but I am so sure, but what if I’m wrong, I mean if I AM wrong, then that’s fine, I just…” 

You stood up. Peter immediately shut up, eyes shifting to the floor. He looked like a child caught with his fingers in the cookie jar. You took a deep breath to settle your nerves and then closed the distance quickly, putting one hand on the wall behind Peter. Your classmate froze up and you wanted to relieve him of his nerves, but you had your own that clogged up your throat and wound your vocal cords tight like a scrunchie holding a very heavy ponytail. “Whenever you talk, I never want you to shut up, but when I look at your lips moving, I cannot think about anything but making you shut up with my own.” 

Peter looked up, glistening eyes pulling you in. You were scanning each other’s faces, both scared this was all just some prank or a dream. “I’m going to ruin this moment by talking about material science if you don’t shut me up right now,” he almost whispered. You chuckled and put an arm around him, pulling him against you until your lips met. It was like coming home, like hot chocolate in winter, like a cosy blanket by the window on a rainy day. 

Your lips touched like they were meant to do so from day one. It was your first kiss together and yet it felt like you had been doing this for ages. Your whole body felt like it was going haywire and the look in Peter’s eyes when you parted did not help. Neither of you said anything, kissing in the kitchen over and over again, as if you were memorising each other’s taste, while you should be memorising that schematic you still had open on your laptop. 

When you finally found it in you to take a step back from Peter, you were both smiling giddily at each other. You broke the silence between you two, before Peter did. “All jokes aside, I actually do need you to talk to me about material science. I think I’ll be much more concentrated when you explain it.” 

Peter let out a chuckle. “Ok, but when exams are over, you are buying me dinner.” 

You slowly walked back to your chair. “I’ll even throw in a movie as well,” you replied, suddenly feeling a lot better about your exams. 

—————

REBLOG TO SUPPORT YOUR FANFIC WRITERS

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[canonicallyobserving911]

"You don't know math!" - Ficlet

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

The first ficlet in the "What do you want?" Series in now available on AO3.

New Buddie Fanfic and New Buddie Series

"You don't know math!"- Buck is forced to choose while Eddie might be presented with another option.

"You don't know math!"

3.2K Words; Rated: General Audiences

___________

Here are two snippets, one for Buck and one for Eddie.

___________

Buck

“EVAN?!”

“What?” He replies with a frown because Tommy must be foolish to think he can yell at him like he’s a child.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Uh… what was that?”

Tommy exasperatedly sighs then with his arms folded over his chest, he says, “Evan, all you had to do was go in there and keep your head down since I told you what type of guy Gerard is.”

~~~

Eddie

About 20 minutes later, the bartender sits his wings and fries in front of him along with another beer but right when he’s getting ready to eat one of his wings, he hears someone say his name.

“You’re Eddie, right?”

He turns around and sees a man who’s 6.2’ or 6.3’, with eyes that are as blue as the ocean, a big million-dollar smile and muscles for days. He asks, “Do I know you?”

“I’m Chuck with the 121 and uh, maybe you don’t remember me but…”

Did Buck breakup with T*mmy too late? 🙃

Did Eddie just meet someone new? 👀

___________

"What do you want?" - A Series of Ficlets

This is a series of “Ficlets” that I’ll be writing over the course of the next few weeks and my goal is to keep them under a certain number of words. I’m challenging myself to do it this way for multiple reasons but mainly because I want to see if I can write a full Buddie story by including smaller fics in a series in comparison to the multi-chapter fic I’m still in the process of writing titled, “I’m still in love with you but… I needed to learn how to love myself too!” I only have 9 chapters left before I finish it but once I’m done, I’d like to continue writing Buddie fanfics. However, this time I’ll start with my dislike for the way season 7 ended instead of the way season 6 did. Finally, I have a lot of WIPs that I want to finish and I figured I can turn them all into ficlets to build the full story for Buck and Eddie.

"You don't know math!" - 3.3K Words; Rated: General Audiences: Buck is forced to choose while Eddie might be presented with another option.

Now Available on AO3

[wewereborntomakehistory]

How Do I Do This?

Fandom: Chicago PD/One Chicago

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader; Kelly Severide x Platonic!Reader; Stella Kidd x Platonic!Reader

Warning/s: Mentions of Divorce, Anxiety and Alcohol Consumption

Request: No

Word Count: 979

A/N: This is based off of the song, How do I do This? by Kelsea Ballerini. You don’t need to listen to the song to get this by any means but I recommend you do! It’s a song that’s been on my mind for a while and I just love Kelsea’s music as a whole! It got a little away from me so apologies for that! I’m also still working on requests and some more chapters of my Jay Halstead fic so please be patient with me.

Enjoy!

***

Are you free Saturday? I know a spot

Those two texts come in rapid succession as you finish cleaning the store up. You’d usually try to avoid checking your phone so often in front of your manager, but by this time you were usually the only one left.

What did you have in mind?

You erase the message in-between organizing the new book shipment.

Saturday? That’s a little too close for me.

You erase that message while balancing the books for that day.

By the time you lock up the store and head home, you had thought up a couple million ways to respond before erasing them. Putting your key in the lock and you finally respond with a simple Yes.

Your next thought was right before you slid into bed for the night. Where the hell is your dress?

Specifically, your little black one that showed off all of your curves. The one that was probably lonely from being unused for so many years.

Having split from your husband over a year ago and trying to start fresh back in Chicago, you were worrying yourself into a spiral. You hadn’t been on a date since you were 22 and you were feeling out of place, getting back into the dating scene at 29.

You and your ex had grown apart from the moment your marriage started. You had done everything you could to keep everything together. You—being the one who made more money—had bought a big house. One that had room for you two to grow a family and have a backyard for a dog. It felt right at the time, maybe it would be enough so the walls didn’t seem like they were closing in.

You and your ex had been fine. But that’s all you were…fine. You finally convinced him to do therapy with you and, unfortunately, the final straw for you was when you realized that he loved you more at 23, then at 27.

You had filed for divorce not long after that. He claimed he hadn’t seen it coming, and fought you for the house. You gave into it, wanting him to just sign the papers and be done with it. In the end, when you signed your lease back in your home city of Chicago you finally checked the box “divorced.”

It had been quite the change, getting used to being back in the city. You contacted one of your oldest friends, Kelly Severide, to hang out and catch up.

It was at one of those meet ups that you met Kelly’s girlfriend, Stella Kidd, and the two of you hit it off instantly.

Now a year later, Stella and Kelly were getting ready to get married, and you voiced your thoughts to them about dating again. Stella said that she had a friend who was your type.

You had no idea what that meant, but after a few failed attempts at signing up for one of those awful dating apps, you gave Stella permission for her to give her friend your number.

The day after the first two texts were sent, he texted you again saying: Great! I’ll pick you up at 7.

You remembered at 22 being a little more cautious about a man picking you up for a date, but you trusted Kelly and Stella so you tried trusting this guy too.

It was hard, everything you’ve ever known about dating, relationships, and love had been ruined with the breakdown of your marriage. Now you wished it wasn’t affecting your thoughts this long after.

So is it any wonder that it’s 6:52 on Saturday and you’re trying to reassure yourself by saying you got this during your last looks in the mirror.

“You’ll be fine,” Kelly was saying over the speakerphone as you contemplated taking a shot to calm your nerves, “Do you think we don’t have your best interest at heart?”

“Kelly,” you say plainly, “It’s been years since I’ve been on a date. I’m gonna look so stupid stumbling over myself and what if he brings up my marriage? You told him about that right? How do I fucking do this? Is it wrong if I take a shot of something?”

“Stella,” you hear Kelly call from his end, obviously feeling like he needed backup, “she’s freaking out.”

“Yes I am.” You almost growl in confirmation, “I blame you both for this. What was I thinking?”

“Relax, girl,” Stella’s voice says over the line in a reassuring tone, “I got you. Look, I’ve known Jay for a while okay, and I’m sure you’ll charm the socks off of him.”

“Oh god,” you say, slapping a hand to your forehead almost dramatically, “I know he’s too good to be true. What have you done, Stella.”

“Breathe, Y/N,” Kelly says, his voice clear and unyielding.

There was a knock on the door. You jump slightly, looking up at the clock on the stove. 7:00 on the dot.

You curse, telling Kelly and Stella that he was there. They told you to have fun and they’ll call you later for details before immediately hanging up on you.

Cursing your friends once more, you open the door, and your breath lapses. You were going to kill Stella for understating his looks by saying he was “good-looking”.

He was much more than good-looking. He was gorgeous. His dark hair was cut evenly. His eyes were a mix of blue and green and freckles littered across his features. He was dressed for a date, his outfit lining the structures of his body. You feel slightly better about choosing your black dress for this, you may even want to wake up tomorrow with it on a floor that isn’t yours.

I’m ready, you tell yourself in your head.

And for the first time since this whole thing started, you believe it.

[butterflydm]

this is random but i just remembered that ages ago i saw an ask game for asking fic writers their 5 favorites/ones they're most proud of of their own fics, and i would love to know yours if you're up for it! it would be so interesting to hear a Butterfly Career Retrospective haha

feel free to be flexible on the number and discuss as many or as few fics as you feel like, and to count a whole series as a single entry (like voice, although if you have any particular favorite installments or interludes within that that you'd like to note i'd be curious to hear that too!)

This took a while but I finally got it done, @markantonys!

I have written a lot of fics, so this was a difficult challenge. I am somewhat helped out by the fact that old fics tend to fade out of my memory… but then if I reread a bit of them, I tend to remember why I wrote them and what I loved about them. I did not limit myself to five fics (I tried!) but these are roughly in reverse chronological order of when I posted them.

not in the stars, but in ourselves - trying to bob and weave and make something that feels narratively satisfying out of the mess that is Mat Cauthon's late series arc has become something of a hobby of mine! This is fic is one of several where I narratively examine parts of the canon that didn't work so well for me and try to rearrange them into something that feels like it rings true for the previous characterization and choices.

This fic in particular really made me see how the roadblocks that existed in each of the character's main plotlines was so much easier to solve if they had access to the other main characters (and I suspect that's part of why Jordan kept them so unnaturally separated during these arcs).

I also really enjoy the romance in this fic, and how the characters interact with prophecy in more unexpected ways, and how Rand and Mat help each other through their traumas, and how each of the members of the polycule bring their own perspective to the relationship.

the caffrey exception in White Collar fandom - this fic languished mostly unfinished on my harddrive for a long time before polyweek gave me an excuse to finish it up and post it! I wasn’t really in White Collar fandom, was the problem, and I always write and post more consistently when I have fellow fandom people to encourage me. I also was originally watching WC with my (now ex-)girlfriend and I stopped watching after we broke up, iirc, so I didn’t actually finish the show until years later. And by the time I was writing it, I didn’t feel like there was all that much visible fandom around. But it had a nice little response during polyshipweek, so I was really happy with how it all turned out. Makes me think that one day maybe I’ll finish up and post that RENT fanfic that’s been on my harddrive for eighteen million years.

negotiating with the truth in The Wheel of Time fandom - you can tell I got fancy with this fic because I gave the chapters titles, lol. This fic leans hard into Mat being an unreliable narrator and playing around with that, and it was a lot of fun to focus on and explore that part of him. I do love a lot of the fics I've written in WoT so trying to narrow it down more was tough (and I still only managed to narrow down to three!) but I really loved writing this one and exploring the differing ways that Mat and Rand were approaching this relationship of theirs and how they come to a compromise in the end. I think I really liked that they genuinely do have different wants and desires that need to be navigated.

voice interlude: feels like falling for the first time in The Wheel of Time fandom - this is, a little bit, subbing in for the Voice series as a whole, but I wanted to pick out a complete story and not something still in progress. I am pretty hopeful that Voice will get finished (there are three more main fics in the series, I think — one that mostly spoils through bk9: winter’s heart; one that mostly spoils through bk12: the gathering storm; and then one with whole-series spoilers) but I have some fairly long unfinished works in past fandoms, so eggs and hatching & etc.

What makes this fic in particular stand out to me is how I was able to really take this one moment in time in the series and expand on it so that I could deep-dive into Mat’s characterization and what he was thinking and feeling, and it’s such a revelatory moment for Mat. I enjoy showing characterization via writing about sex, and the interludes in the Voice series really allow me to do that.

my mouth (your lips) my hands (your hips) in The Magicians fandom - This fic where Margo and Eliot approach Quentin on this more equal ground (of them competing to see which of them can land him first) and it developing into a true polyam relationship… I really loved exploring how messy but ultimately loving it was. I also loved delving into Margo as an aromantic character in this fic, and how the great love of her life is her best friend.

A lot of my own fears and pains and worries made it into the three main characters in this one, though all in ways that make sense with their own base characterization, I think. There’s this one line that Eliot thinks - “he had always been better at self-preservation than bravery” and that is 100% canon Eliot but… yeah, it’s also me. One of the things I am working on in therapy is loosening the stranglehold of my self-preservation so that I can be a little braver when it comes to reaching out to other people.

If you like my poly fics in WoT fandom, you might also enjoy my marqueliot fics (but I wouldn’t recommend the show tbh. Or, well, I might rec it up until the episode “All That Hard Glossy Armor”. That’s a good one to end on. And it’s a Margo episode!).

searching for a sound (we hadn’t heard before) in The Magicians fandom - I wrote some serious fix-it fics in this fandom. But this fic was me taking the kind of ridiculous angle on a plotline that I think that the show might have actually pulled off, if it had been so inclined. This fic was also me balling up all my frustration at the poor writing choices and lobbing it at the show’s forehead. It was very cathartic to write. And I think it’s pretty funny too, so that’s a bonus.

(I’m Not Calling You A) Liar for Steven Universe fandom — I am cheating here and including a vid. This vid is… if I sliced up my heart (Hannibal style) and laid it out on a plate, it would look something like this vid. I actually started watching Steven Universe because I saw the “Stronger Together” clip with Garnet but soon after I started watching… holy shit, Pearl and her deep heartbreak over Rose just grabbed me by the throat and did not let me go. Watching her slowly process and begin to resolve her grief was a very healing experience when I was watching the show. There was something very much intensely yearning about Pearl at the start of SU, and how she was trying so hard to hide it (from Steven but from the other gems as well). But she can’t move on until she confronts and heals!

My favorite of the vids that I’ve made, I think, and the one I’m proudest of. There is maybe one single clip that I would change now if I went back to edit it again, but that’s it. I’m fully satisfied with the rest of it; and this is not the case with most of my vids. My Yuri! On Ice vid is probably the other one that comes closest to feeling like I wouldn’t change anything now.

Enyo’s Daughter in MCU fandom — so I am a bit of an odd one out in MCU fandom, because the ship that I liked the best, over any other… Tony and Natasha. Iron Man and Black Widow. It’s a complex and thorny ship, but I liked exploring it. Tony and Natasha both get to be messy and fucked up and exploring situations like that can be interesting. It was written pretty soon after the first Avengers movie came out, if I recall correctly. I never did finish the sequel to this fic, which I am kinda sad about.

Any fandom where canon is currently developing can be kinda tough for me to stay ahead of, in terms of writing any big fic series(es) — this is also why my big Star Wars WIP is destined never to be finished, tbh. I started writing it before a lot of the current canon even exists, and trying to go back and finish it would be difficult because the new shows & movies have changed so much and it can be hard to mentally reconcile what I knew back then vs what I know now when it comes to canon. Once the new MCU movies after Avengers came out, this fic was kinda doomed to never get the sequel finished, alas. And this is why WoT having a closed book canon has made writing fic for it easier, I think.

Melt into Time from American Idol RPF — time-travel fic! I’ve attempted it from time to time, but this one I actually finished. I don’t remember the actual process of writing this anymore, because my memory is for crap, as I mentioned at the start, but it is probably my favorite fic that I wrote in this fandom overall. It deals with second chances and a lot of yearning and people being emotionally messy (a theme for me, for sure).

Justice, Be Not Blind from Dexter — my one and only Dexter fic. What I remember most about writing this fic is that despite how short it is (less than 1k), I did so much research. Miguel Prado was hands-down my favorite character who ever appeared on Dexter and so I wanted to write a fic for him, but I wanted it to sound as true to his character voice as possible. I don’t even really remember the extent of the research that I did and it’s been so long that I couldn’t tell you anymore whether or not the character voice is accurate, but I remember how much I wanted to get this right and how much work I put into trying to get Miguel to feel genuine.

Travelers Without Map or Compass for Doctor Who fandom - cute romantic fluff, but I’m very fond of it. It captures a sort of vibe in the Doctor & Rose relationship that was very appealing to me, and I enjoyed exploring and expanding my thoughts on some of the rooms in the TARDIS.

Another Nameless Planet in the Star Wars (Prequel) fandom — I wrote longer fics in Star Wars fandom but honestly I think I captured Anakin best in this small fic that’s not really about anything in particular except Anakin wanting to be treated as an equal (by Obi-Wan specifically).

I have fics that I wrote before this point, but most of them I genuinely don’t remember writing to the point of going, “huh, oh, wow, I guess that was me, huh?” lol. But going back over my fics… man, it really is like having the deepest yearnings of your heart spread out in front of the world sometimes, isn’t it?

Thanks for sending me on this journey to the past! I hope you enjoyed it. <3

[anonymousauthorsblog]

Turning Passions

chapter 7- understood.

this chapter does include writing

lowercase intended

the greatest - lana del ray

.•.••.•.•.••.•.•.••.•.••.•.•.••.•.•.••.•.••.•.•.••.•.•.•

y/n pov 3rd person

y/n sighs as she finally makes her way to her dorm, she stops in front of the dorm before putting her head down against the cold wood. she shuffles her feet, feeling the pain of overworking herself and finally sighs before entering her key and walking into the dorm. maki and toge are already at the door waiting for her to arrive. “HEY Y/N” toge yells, “yo” maki adds on. “how was the tryouts or whatever” maki asks after. y/n is hesitant with her answer because she doesn’t want to jinx anything coming fourth. “it was a bit more scary than my other ones but we find out tomorrow.” “dang that fast?” toge says with a surprised look, “don’t they need like a few days to choose” he continues. y/n shrugs her shoulders and explains “that’s college for you i guess and these teachers truly don’t mess around” “well there’s dinner in the fridge to eat” maki says with a stern look. toge jumps in after “yup auditions are over so it’s time to have our amazing and not mean y/n back” y/n turns her head and stares him down. “kidding” he says putting his hands up in defense, “but seriously please y/n it’s time to bring you back to health” y/n nods before replying “ok well um i’ll eat later im going to get ready for bed” the other two friends nod before they say their good nights before eventually going on to their own rooms. y/n then goes into her room, dropping everything when she enters. she strips from her ballet clothing before putting on her pajamas, throwing her dirty clothes on the floor not caring about the mess. she then rips down her hair, leaving it with the product still in, before jumping into bed. exhaustion finally taking over and before luring into a deep sleep.

y/n is suddenly awoken by the noise of someone banging on the door, she looks up and tries to get up and out of bed. she finally makes it out of the tangles of multiple blankets as she stumbles down to the floor- making her way to the door. she finally opens her room door not making out of the image of who it is. she blinks and rubs her eyes a couple of times to then see maki at the door irritated. “you know what time it is?” y/n hums as she rubs her eyes once more. “y/n! your classes for today? or is that going to be optional for you?” maki yells at her. y/n is then fully awake from the full force news to her sleeping in. “oh shit” she says as she rushes towards her school bags digging to quickly organize and change textbooks for her classes today, “oh shit is right” maki mumbles as she leaves the doorway. y/n then grabs her school bag and makes her way to her bathroom. y/n tries to get ready mainly focusing on the basic necessities- not making any effort to her appearance, only focusing on the mess of her hair she has from not showering the night before. she races across her room trying to reach the door before she suddenly trips over something, slamming down to the ground. she groans as she looks up before realizing she tripped over her dance bag. dance. she then realizes and gasps as today she would find out if she got the black swan. y/n slowly gets up and accepts that she won’t make it on time for her first class. she puts down her stuff before starting over her morning- this time making sure she’s prepared and ready for the day with the recognition of dance. including the million dollar news that could help start her dream- or ruin her chances of dancing forever.

y/n pov 3rd person

y/n finishes her first class of the day, closing her phone from getting the text from the new group chat she was added in a week ago. she makes her way to the center because the first class of the day was also her last one before dance. she then stops in front of the door. she sighs and takes a deep breath as her nerves are starting to kick in. she then finally enters and makes her way into the dressing room. she does her usual routine before entering her classroom to practice like usual. today is different the only person in the room is kai. her one and only competition, but this time she’s viewing her as someone who she would share the main stage with. she walks in before entering the dance floor and she begins turning. as she’s turning the vision of disappointment appears in her mind as the memories of her first dance class comes in. she views the mistakes and the need to grow, she starts to panic but tries to push through. but the thoughts don’t stop as the fear of failure comes in and the anxiety of not getting role clouds in. she then feels her foot start to feel weak as she bobbles her last turn before ending the whole entire sequence itself. she then puts her hands to hear knees trying to keep her breathing steady- she eventually looks up to see herself in the mirror. but then she sees that kai has been watching her. “those were good but you bobbled the last one, why?” y/n looks at kai from the mirror. she takes a long pause, thinking of a response before answering, “why?”. the one word usage surprises kai. kai then smirks and crosses her arms. “because your my competition of course, i know im the best so you’re obviously right up with me, why did you bobble your last turn.” y/n scoffs before turning to face her. “because I just did? is that a good answer for you” slowly growing irritated. kai hums before walking out of the room, “we may be auditioning for different parts which is lucky for you, but know later into the season when there’s only one main part to get- just know that i’ll get it.” y/n is left there with silence, she stands there stunned for a minute . shes never really had a problem with kai and always thought this competition was more friendly and something to push each other. until now. y/n looks up, tightening the grip of her hands before going towards the barre. even though she’s irritated with the new “acquaintance” she gained, that doesn’t build up enough emotion to stop the sport she loves. dance. so instead of taking the frustration on kai and walking out like the dancer who tried to scare her off. she leaves it to the dance floor and resumes her practice. a few minutes passed then 15 have and the class has started. the class starts with no word on the main leads and instead straight into a ballet piece from the swan lake the teacher wanted everyone to learn- the 4 little swans. they take the whole class learning before the teacher announces, “i know many of you’ve been waiting for me to announce the roles so here it is. i won’t sugar coat it, this is the field of dance. but if you tried out and didn’t make it then i still want to see more of you in the more less dramatic roles for our upcoming project. when i call your name for these two roles come see me after class because we need to talk” the old teacher glances the room and pauses before continuing in a strict but cold manner. “congratulations to kai everden for the role of the white swan.” she pauses and looks around. y/n starts to sweat, she gets nervous and starts to overthink her performance. her head feels dizzy and she starts to get lost in her own thoughts. until the loud booming of the voice of her teacher interrupts her. “and to y/n l/n for the black swan.” y/ns face brights up she glances to her teacher to see her already facing her. her face beamed with a smile and she’s filled with relief. she then sits up more taller filled with confidence as she then waits to hear the rest of what has to be said from the instructor.

the dance teacher continues “that’s it for class other part auditions will be next week, goodbye. then as a until the other dancers exit, most of them filled with emotion as those who tried out didn’t get the chance to be the main lead. y/n and kai get up to approach the dance teacher before she starts. “don’t think because you got the role you are perfect, you guys are not. this sudden outburst draws the faces of both dancers and takes the color of both of their faces. the teacher continues. “i’m surprised you guys tried out for the roles you did-you guys actually fit each others roles perfectly. y/n scrunches her eyebrows and tries to wipe her confused face off before letting her teacher continue. “i made the decision that if i don’t see improvement of you two becoming and getting into your character that you got i will change it.” kai intrudes in “what do you mean?” the teacher raises her voice “i mean if i don’t see you being graceful and dance with perfection and become the white swan i will turn you into the black one, the same for you y/n” she yells. y/n adds on “so your saying im not into character enough” “im saying you’re dancing like the white swan and im seeing kai dancing like the black. this changes everything for you two now. you now are going to have to continue fighting for your original roles.” “understood” y/n replies defeated. “if you both cannot do it and complain then i’ll replace you both she continues. there’s silence in the studio. “there are multiple ladies who would kill for this role in this dance program. be thankful you have one chance that i never usually make, that’s it. see you next class with more details about extra rehearsals. y/n finally looks up as the teacher leaves. kai looks at her before taking her leave too. y/n is now left alone in the dance room confused. she thought she lived through the black swan, all the practices and videos on hours and hours didn’t pay off. she looks up before leaving the class room entering the dressing room, before taking her bag, changing in peace. to leaving the studio this time with her head and heart held low.

authors note: hey guys!! welcome back to chapter 7! sorry it took a while school is kicking my butt!! today we have a short chapter (no megumi pov 🫤) but UPCOMING MEET WITH ALL STREAMERS + Y/Ns GROUP!!! also our little dancer finally got the role! (idk if she wanted it to go like this though… but anyways see you guys next chapter because that one will definitely be a fun and much longer one! anyways see yall later! <3

fun facts:

• toge and maki know when y/n is upset and it’s usually because of dance but they try to help and comfort her by spending time and doing acts of service for her (so cute)

• megumi usually never says hi to someone first so when he did it to y/n, yuji and nobaras megumi+y/n ship went OFFFFFF

• yuji loves gaming but wants to explore doing other things for his channel

my tags list should work now, if not then trust i will email tumblr or some. anyways if it doesn’t please comment down your blog name so i can try again, thank you for your support! <3

taglist! -

@catobsessedlady @prettynai @notveevee @1l-ynn @xcalkenf @heyheyitsurdaily @aceakariii @meltedoctopie @hannahgcherry

[twincaptains]

Obsequium: Part I: Chapter Two - Dipper's September

TITLE: Obsequium Part I: Chapter Two: Dipper’s September PAIRINGS:  Dipford (Ford x Dipper), Bipford, (Bipper x Ford), regular Billford (Bill x Ford) Pinecest (Dipper x Mabel), Stancest, (Stan x Ford), and possibly others. SUMMARY: Dipper writes to Mabel about his experiences back in Gravity Falls. He’s learning a lot! He is also suffering. I’m not sure he’s okay, actually. NOTES: I am posting to Tumblr for now, but eventually will be cross-posting to Ao3. I am in line to get an account, and should have one by the end of the month. Warnings for this chapter – as well as for the rest of the story – under the cut!

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Drug abuse, caregiver neglect, mind control OVERALL WARNINGS: Incest, sibling incest, minor, coercive control, mind control, caregiver neglect, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, dubious consent (dubcon), body horror, suicidal ideation, food restriction, sleep deprivation, self-harm, drug abuse, being drugged, lost time, and I’m going to specifically going to warn for “Ford being cruel to Stanley”, because it made me upset when I wrote it so I want to warn for it. If I forgot anything, please let me know and I will fix it IMMEDIATELY. I will add more if anything else comes up.   Chapter One is here!!

-

Sunday, September 4th Heyyyy Mabel!

I'm currently trudging around the woods looking for the source of a mysterious voice. What could go wrong, right? In all seriousness this thing is getting annoying. We'd at least like to find the source, if not a way to get it to be quiet.

I miss you already. It's kinda the worst. Even worse, I can't say that out loud or I'll get a stupid lecture. I love Great Uncle Ford, I really do, but he relates to other people the way a zookeeper relates to their animals. I'm not sure he's ever actually really loved anyone or anything. If he did, he forgot how along the way. I get that he's probably done that to protect himself, but what happens when we finish our work and there's nobody there to clap? I'm slowly trying to reason with him, but he is stubborn. More stubborn than Grunkle Stan, if you can believe that.

I'm really sorry I talked your ear off about that girl I have a crush on. I just hoped you knew what I should do, because I certainly don't. It's true, I can't ever tell her. She can never ever know how I feel. I think I'd literally die, and she'd never speak to me again and I don't think I could handle that. I get to spend so little time around her already that I don't want to risk it. Still. I can't stop thinking about her, even now, in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, with wet socks and a dwindling supply of trail mix. So I figured ... hey. Why not write to Mabel?

I'm going to try and be more consistent with my letters this fall. I know I tend to sink into my work and time gets away from me, but I've already sat down and marked days in my planner to set time aside to write to you. I've also set eight million reminders in my PDA. Rumor has it that we might be getting an upgraded cell tower in town soon, which means I'll FINALLY be able to TIMEFACE you like a PROPER RESIDENT of the TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY!!!!!

I hope you're doing well in school; I know that math is hard but I believe in you. You just have to try your best, that's all. Your best is always good enough.

Anyway, back to the woods. Hurrah.

Love, Dip

-

Thursday, September 8th

S'up S'up S'up Maaaaaaaaaybeeeeee

So my week has already been weird. Apparently while I was gone, Great Uncle Ford made me this wild VR helmet that's helping me get my mind off that girl I like. I have to admit, it's kinda weird? It's function and purpose is actually a little dystopian, if I'm being honest, but it's really doing the trick for me right now so I'll question it years later when I'm unpacking this portion of my life to a therapist.

It's really freed up my mind in a way that I never thought was possible. Do you remember me telling you I was stuck on some of my school stuff? I got through it this afternoon no problem, like I'd known how to do it the entire time. Breakthroughs like that feel amazing, and are why I keep trying even when I'm struggling with something. I don't know how much I can credit to the VR helmet, or how much to credit myself, but somewhere in the middle I'm really starting to get a grip over here. As long as I don't trip and fall, I should be golden.

Bill's influence is still all over the place. I really hate it. I have tried, time and time again, to talk to Great Uncle Ford about my experiences with Bill and how they've messed me up, but he doesn't really seem interested. Or rather, it makes him actively uncomfortable. I don't know what he's hiding about his relationship with Bill, but it makes him want to throw up. I don't know who he thinks he's fooling, but it’s kinda obvious, right? Am I imagining things? They had a thing, right? Why wouldn't he want me to know that? We also had a thing ... sorta ... it's not like I wouldn't understand??? He just doesn't want to tell me too much. He doesn’t trust me.

Why not??????

I've worked insanely hard to prove myself and even now he still keeps me juuuust outside of the loop. It's really starting to grind my gears, I'm almost an adult and I should be treated like one. I'll just keep being a Good Little Assistant until he lets me inside of his head. Things will only improve from there.

I think I'm gonna try and sneak a nap. I'm weirdly tired lately, maybe it's the light changing.

Love, Dip

-

Monday, September 12th

Yo! Mabel!

I'm sinking my teeth into some new subjects for school and I'm having a really great time with it so far! I get to make three-dimensional models that have hidden fourth, fifth, and sixth dimensional sides -- it's absolutely wild and I cannot wait to start arranging my first array. You know how I feel about complex shapes, I'm going to have an amazing time with this.

Things with hidden dimensions are just so cool, Mabel. I think you'd really like them, because they're so beautiful -- like genuinely pretty. They remind me of how you doodle in your notebooks, especially in the margins. Can you doodle in the margins of your next reply a bit? Dumb thing to ask, I know, but I miss them. I even miss them showing up in MY notebooks. I'm sorry if I ever yelled at you for doing that.

To answer your questions about the VR Helmet: 1. It's called the OBSEC... bunchanumbers. Nothing cool. 2. I have no idea how it works, I just know what it does. 3. What it does is kinda really embarrassing, so I'm gonna try and do my best to get my point across without passing out or throwing this letter in the garbage. Basically, it lets you sorta play through little... scenarios, anything you could think of, and along with that comes a certain level of .... biochemical involvement. That is to say, your brain pumps a bunch of feel-good chemicals into your bloodstream because it thinks you're doing something fun -- even though you're really not! This is helping me become more focused and less distracted by my teenaged-boyness. Obviously, given my performance at school lately. Feels like I'm cheating the system somehow??? But I think that's the entire point.

One more thing: Have you been calling Grunkle Stan at all? He seems really, really lonely. Worse than usual. He's been leaving Great Uncle Ford messages on his answering machine this whole time, but in the last few months he's gone from calling a few times a week, to calling every day, sometimes twice. Great Uncle Ford won't even listen to the messages, he makes me delete them for him. Playing armchair psych here; I think he feels kinda bad about what a jerk he's being, but isn't ready to admit that yet. Hearing Stan's voice, and knowing that Stan refuses to just ... hate him the way Great Uncle Ford wants him to ... it's starting to get to him. I see cracks like that here and there, which is why I'm not giving up hope that they can maybe patch things up someday. I think Great Uncle Ford needs to figure out that he can trust us, and that he'll be safe here if he does.

Anyway. Miss you, love you ... all that stuff.

Love, Dip

-

Thursday, September 15th

Mabel

I wanna die right now. My unyeilding rage won't allow it.

I was really getting into my coursework, and I asked Great Uncle Ford if he had anything to keep me up a bit longer because I felt like I was close to figuring something out and didn't want to lose it if I went to bed. I see him take stuff all the time, and he had no qualms about handing me ... something.

What I expected was Adderall. Or at least, something LIKE that, you know?? I took those for years! They caused more problems than they solved, sure, but that was because I was taking them long-term. This was supposed to be a one-off thing, a normal all-nighter.

It was not like that. It was not like that at all.

Worst anxiety attack of my life. I don't have the capacity to calculate exactly how long I was awake? But it was too long, and I'm mad that I'm awake right now.

The worst part about all of this? Great Uncle Ford acted like this was somehow MY fault. Like I'm some kind of wimp for reacting badly to mystery space drugs. Like I lied to him about what I could tolerate, or something. He just stood there and huffed at me, shaking his head and asking me "Are you done?" about every 15 minutes.

I'm currently not speaking to him. At least not today. Maybe not tomorrow, either. He resents that I'm angry at him for not giving me any type of warning about what that drug was about to do to me, I assumed I was about to become awake and alert -- not achieve nirvana by being fired out of a canon at mach fuck straight into a glass wall. Very annoyed. Very annoyed that he's acting this way.

I think I'm going to have to get him back for this, somehow. I'll need to bide my time, but he'll regret the way he tutted at me like I was some kind of preschooler throwing a tantrum.

Love, Dip

-

Sunday, September 18th

-Maybee Baby- Ms. Mabel Mack,

Got a little sick and tired of the mood in the house being so chilly, so I offered an olive branch of sorts: using my audio equipment to try and capture those whispers we keep hearing. Great Uncle Ford said we should go out looking for them (I think he was just hoping to change the subject), and I countered with staying near the house and using my stuff to make sure we're hearing what we think we're hearing.

I was right, we didn't need to go out in the woods. We heard a lot last night, and I definitely got some on my recorders. Enough, in fact, that it was worth coming out for a second night. That's what I'm doing now, well, that and writing to you.

The whispers are making me uneasy, but in a way that makes me want to keep pursuing them, you know? I feel like that once I figure them out, a lot of other things will start to make sense. Not exactly THE answers I'm looking for, but the thing that's going to set me on the path that takes me to them. For the time being I'm grateful they've been getting us out of the house. I spent so much of the summer inside and underground. You saw me! Was I the crimson adonis I usually am? No. Pale as dough. And I'm only going to get paler as winter creeps in. I may be translucent by Christmas.

You said you've been e-mailing some old friends? Heard back from anyone? I sometimes run into people when I go into town, but nobody seems to want to talk to me. I think they're mad, and I guess they have a right to be, but it really reinforces how alone I am out here. I honestly thought it would take me less than a year to get Great Uncle Ford to see the light and reconcile with Grunkle Stan.

I really miss you.

Love,

   D I      P -

Tuesday, September 20th

Mabel

I'm so fucking angry right now that I want to scream. Grateful for the Screaming Closet Great Uncle Ford installed the first summer we were here, I'll tell you that much. I had to try and keep calm and be reasonable so that I didn't explode, WHICH WAS THE WORST.

UGH.

Oh. My god.

I caught him researching restraining orders. You can guess why, and for who. I don't even want to put it in writing because it's just going to make me angry all over again. I can't fucking believe him.

I don't know what it is, but he seems extra moody and distant lately -- and get this, he accuses me of the same thing. Yeah, you know what? I AM a little peevish. Miffed, even. And lately he's doing and saying things that make me not want to be around him, so I've been distant. I also have a lot on my mind that has nothing to do with anything in particular, but it's taking up time and space so I'm a little short on change for the Putting Up With His Bullshit Express.

As if that weren't enough, guess who's analyzing ALL of the audio we recorded over the weekend by himself? I had three devices running for almost 20 hours total over two days. Ghost Hunter Plumbers don't have to work under these conditions. Neither do the guys from Dudebro Ghost Show. He could very easily help but he is choosing not to, and I think that's what makes me the maddest, out of all of it.

He isn't great with computers? Not hopeless, but very rigid and unwilling to exit his comfort zone, which is a weird combination of things we haven't done in 30 years and things we won't be doing for another 200. I don't think my Fruitbook would be that hard to figure out, they're made to be intuitive, but what's intuitive for everyone else generally isn't for Great Uncle Ford. I think he gets embarrassed about that and would rather pretend it's beneath him than reveal he's bad at it.

Lots to think about. Aiee.

Love, Dip

-

Thursday, September 22nd

Mabelfish,

I'm doing a lot better, thanks. Especially since someone sent me a five pound bag of blue raspberry BubbHeddz.

Thank you, by the way.

I'm finishing up my analysis of all that audio I recorded, and I wish I could say I felt good about it. There is a message buried in the sounds we've been hearing, flipped and reversed -- so that we'd have to work to find it. The weirdest part is that I know, deep down inside, that this message isn't for me. It's for Great Uncle Ford.

"You'll trip and fall right in to me."

Is this why he's been acting weird lately? Is he at risk of a Bill relapse? I dunno. I almost don't want to tell him, but I know I should. Who knows, maybe this will shift his focus away from being mean to Grunkle Stan and back to being mean to Bill.

I'm gonna sleep on these findings and see how they feel in the morning.

Love, Dip

-

Monday, September 26th

Mabes,

I went a little longer than I usually like to without writing, but I was on a roll with my schoolwork. I haven't felt that 'in-the-zone' in a REALLY long time. Up until the end of last year, I hadn't really had much trouble with anything Great Uncle Ford threw at me. These last few subjects though, woof. I know they're going to be important later on, at least -- that's what Great Uncle Ford says, and I kinda have to trust him on that.

Shame that trusting him is harder and harder to do lately, but what can you do?

In addition to advancing my studies, we had to do some cleanup around the property. It's funny, I used to hate doing stuff like that, but I had a great time being outside and getting fresh air. I still ache in places I didn't even know it was possible to ache, but it's a GOOD ache, one that accomplished something. It certainly keeps my body from acting in ways I don't want it to.

Not that that's a problem I usually have! My body is definitely fine and I am in complete control of it at all times. But between my sleep being all weird and that pill I took earlier this month, I feel a little less than square sometimes. I'd like to say stress is also a factor, but with the OBSEC-8177 I'm not really experiencing a whole lot of stress. When I do, it's temporary, and usually Great Uncle Ford's fault.

I think you'd like the OBSEC-8177 a lot. If you're ever allowed to visit here you can give it a try. I doubt Great Uncle Ford would let me take something like this out of the house, so you'd have to come here. We should figure out a way to make that happen.

Love, Diiip

-

Thursday, September 29th

Maybe it's Mabel,

Against my better judgement, I'm sitting here decoding more audio. Great Uncle Ford grabbed my recording devices and started rolling when I stepped inside for a little bit and, unfortunately, he caught some things.

More backmasked talking, and it makes me feel kinda gross. It's nothing particularly threatening, though definitely threatening, it's just layered with a certain level of ... familiarity, I'll call it. It kinda comes off as flirty?? But that doesn't seem right, does it? Maybe I can somehow regain access to my e-mail and I can send you these clips so you can see what I mean.

It is 100% Bill, by the way. It wouldn't be the first time we've received weird little voice notes from him, but these are different than anything we've encountered in the past. Real "the call is coming from inside the house" vibes: "Don't be so sure." and "I'm closer than you think." Personally, I think we should stop engaging ... but Bill is making that hard. I have found that vocally acknowledging these noises makes them quiet down for a bit, but the longer you go without confronting them the louder they become. I think we should probably try and figure out a way to fortify the house a bit better? Hard to bring that kind of thing up, because Great Uncle Ford gets really tetchy if you imply something he's done isn't good enough.

Can it be Thanksgiving yet?

Love, Dip

[oreosmama]

In the Black Widow’s Nest (Henry Creel x Reader) 🕷️Chapter 2🕷️

*GIF not mine*

Summary:

Prince Henry of the Creel Dynasty is finally in search of a wife, and in the spirit of courtship, King Victor has invited young royalty from all neighboring kingdoms to vie for his hand. But with so much royalty introduces the need for many more maids in the castle than usual.

Enter: You.

You’re nothing but a servant in his home, an intruder in his prized library, and an utter nuisance in his mind. But then you survive his attack, and in an unexpected way nonetheless. That makes you… interesting.

You’ve caught his eye—congratulations! Now, you must deal with the consequences of loving a heartless prince in a world where far worse things lurk in the castle than dirty garderobes.

Chapter 1

A/N: yay, another chapter! and not a million bajillion months later, either, aren’t u guys lucky? I worked hard on this one! Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy!

Word count: 4809

The maids of the castle did not have an organized way of awakening. The first one to rise from her cot never rang a bell, nor did she make a sound as she bumbled about the room. The others simply roused at her activity and moved to follow her lead. A soft ray of warmth would peek through window curtains, illuminating the rumpled sheets and the scuffling shoes as the ladies donned their uniforms: white pinafores over black smocks, black sleeves down to the wrists with white cuffs, white bows, black slippers.

A light chatter had begun after one maid, a new recruit hired for the season, had asked another for assistance in tying the pinafore’s bow at her back. By the time the bow was finished, the rest of the room had followed suit. Conversations erupted, and some of the more experienced women had taken to helping the newcomers with their garments. When one began to brush her own hair, so did another. When one adjusted the strap on her own shoe, so did another.

They moved as one body and looked as one body, as was expected of them. None dared to lose their opportunity to work with the castle's wages and living, especially during such a season.

The prince of the Creel Dynasty was finally searching for a wife.

The kingdom had long awaited this announcement from the handsome young heir. In preparation for the many balls, galas, and other festivities promised by this news, the castle staff had welcomed a myriad of new members, all of whom had to be trained before the kingdom could host any visiting royalty.

The maids, therefore, had the strictest schedules and regimens. The nature of their duties made it most plausible to come in contact with a royal, and such required a level of propriety unobserved by them in their previous homes.

But a new fear had struck the collective consciousness of the trainees.

One that made the threat of interacting with royals all the more potent.

You rose from your cot at the tap of the girl beside you. A fierce spasming fired along your spine, where your new wounds must have reopened from the movement.

Briefly, you considered lying back down, letting your headache swallow you whole. Considered Miss Miriam, in a devilish state, screaming at you, dismissing you, dragging you out of the castle. Crawling back home with no money, nothing to show for your promises of dragging them out of the village and whisking them away to a life of less hell. You consider coming out of the castle like you came in. Still nothing. Having nothing.

But a pretty sight struck you—Miss Miriam, with her crop, coming up behind you, and you, twisting and grabbing her by her gray hair, shoving her face into a used chamber pot.

Then swatting the old harpy with her own weapon.

A smile split your face, causing the bruise on your cheek to throb.

One day.

But until that day, you were stuck here under the shameless eyes of your own fellow maids. The show Miss Miriam had put on for the others was one that must be burned into the backs of their eyelids, because the maids did one of two things.

They watched you, or they blinked.

You folded in on yourself, turning away and grasping your uniform tucked neatly beneath your bed. When you rose back up and reached for the hem of your nightdress, you hesitated.

The gazes were so heavy you could drown. Even now, you could feel the oozing blood sticking to the thick fabric. However prominent the bruise on your face was nothing compared to artwork that mangled your back; something was peeling, another splitting, and much was bleeding. It was all one collective wound, one scab healing so slowly that any movement you made renewed the process.

You did everything quickly and quietly. You tore off your dress, peeling off fresh skin with it, and stretched the other one over your head, thankful the black smock wouldn’t stain so evidently. The gasps didn’t slow you down. You tugged on your shoes and straightened your sleeves. You whisked your hair out of your face as you worked, tightening and adjusting and grimacing your way through it.

Tears burned at the corners of your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall. You were surprised you had any left after last night—your own tongue sat as dry as a rock in your mouth. How could there be more?

But they sprang forth when you pulled the pinafore over your sleeves and realized you couldn’t tie the bow yourself. Not as tightly as it should be. Your own body wouldn’t let you do such a thing to your wound.

You needed help. Would any of them be willing to even speak to you? To be seen associating with the first pariah of the group?

You couldn’t imagine yourself doing it. Self-preservation was at an all-time high after your public whipping. Would anyone even believe that you hadn’t wanted any of this? That you hadn’t been a crown-hunting girl begging for trouble? That something bordering on preternatural had invaded your mind and drowned out your senses, and all you could do was cling onto another human as you grappled for reality—who gave a damn if the man just happened to be Prince Henry, the one person women in all the known kingdoms were trying to obtain?

No.

No one would believe you.

Dear God, you sounded deranged. One step away from fleeing into the woods waving sticks and crying demon at every creature you crossed.

The church bells, of all things, being the sounds you’d heard when your own life was slipping away before your eyes. You may as well hang yourself right now, if the king couldn’t decree it any faster.

You dropped the two fabric strings of the pinafore with a muffled snivel, cupping your bruised cheek and letting your eyes fall closed.

Three months. Just three months to shed the new label and secure yourself a permanent position in the castle. Real servants’ lodgings, proper pay, daily meals. You could live the rest of your life not acknowledged by another soul if you could just stay here, safe and content and unheeded.

What more could a person want out of life?

A gentle touch at your shoulder blade drew your attention, and you flinched away before it got any closer to your injuries. You spun around and bumped into your cot, eyeing the other maid warily. Her gaze was kind and bordered on innocent, vibrant blue barely peeking out from behind a wall of curly brown hair. She looked about your age, and at first glance, you would never notice the proud, acute way she held herself.

Like she always knew what she was doing, and yet always knew too much.

And when she offered her hands like a sign of peace, you did not try to back away again. Far be it from you to reject the first kindness you had experienced since you had arrived here.

“I can tie your bow, if you like?”

That same accent, unrefined when compared to what usually bounced off the gilded walls, and you surmise that she must have come from another small village like yours. Unlike you, however, she seemed to have less fear when navigating through unfamiliarities like castles and cruel maids.

Why else would she bother offering the one persona non grata a helping hand?

You pause at her offer, gnawing on your lip as though you had other options to consider. Perhaps there was some ill intent to her aid, but even if there was, you couldn’t figure out what and why and why bother.

“Yes…” you swallowed. “Please.”

She smiled gently and gestured for you to turn around. When her hands tied the bow, it was all light fingers and quiet conversations.

Her name was Nancy, and you learned she had come from the village next to yours. When she couldn’t get a job working for a seamstress, she wound up as something of a governess in the kingdom’s walls, traversing back and forth between her home and those of higher standings nearer to the castle. She was good at watching children, but the castle was offering far more than royalty’s butlers and vicars could afford.

And she was also very sorry for you. What happened yesterday was hard to watch.

You asked her to tighten the bow, dismissing her small hum of concern, and swallowed the bile that rose when the pinafore dug securely into the gashes of your back.

You both knew she had been fixing to leave it loose, letting you decide if the risk of an untidy uniform was worth the comfort.

It wasn’t.

The other maids, it seemed, had grown uninterested the second your wounds were covered for what would be the remainder of the day, and returned to normal conversation. Few glances were thrown your way since Nancy had tied your bow, and you noticed yet another phenomenon.

Caught up in a sea of black and white, the only difference between you and Nancy, between any one maid and another, was her hair. Brunette and blond hair intermixed with black and ginger, all blended seamlessly when plaited or swept up into a bun.

Yours hung loose and knotted down your back, and without a word, Nancy began to wisp the tendrils into a braid. You wanted to stop her, but you couldn’t. Your own arms could barely raise as high as your heart, and your hands shook the second they entered your vision, lifted to stop Nancy’s at your nape.

“There,” she murmured, dismissing your thanks, “now you really blend in. By tonight, the others won’t even remember which bed you’re in.”

“Should I be concerned they know that now?”

She laughed softly. “I suppose not, although I have overheard a few girls bitter about you being with a royal.”

You blanched. “What? That’s what they’re focused on?”

Maybe… maybe you should have guessed some of them might focus on that fact. But look where it got you, and you hadn’t even been trying.

Properly flogged, and now in the sights of one Miss Miriam.

Nancy shrugs. “Just a few. Most have been scared for you. But,” she pauses, pursing her lips, “you must understand that we’re… thankful, in a cruel way.”

Of course. You could understand that.

It terrified you, angered you to no end, but you understood it. Someone had to be a lesson for the others. A demonstration. The new maids needed a spectacle to understand where the power lied—that power did not lie solely within royalty. There were pockets of it left scattered throughout the castle, and cruel-enough servants snatched it up whenever possible, and lorded it over whoever would listen.

But… you wanted to cry at the unfairness of it all. You never thought it would be you.

The collective consciousness reigned over the servants once more, and they began to line up. You spotted a girl, younger-looking than most, step away from the door, and guessed she must have heard footsteps. Nancy nodded at you before joining a line, and you followed.

Like clockwork, the door slammed open, and Miss Miriam entered with a silencing swoosh of her black smock. When her second-in-command entered, goosebumps ran down your spine.

You could still feel yourself struggling in her arms, sobs wracking their way through you as she steadied your form for another lashing. Your heartbeat began thundering in your back, right underneath the bow of the pinafore.

“Ladies, today is a day of utmost importance.” With small, black eyes narrowed and surveying each and every young girl before her, Miss Miriam furrowed her brow and frowned, wrinkles tracing the expressions with ease. Her face pinched together so tightly it resembled a sun-dried grape. “The royal family will be welcoming four promising princesses today, and it will be your duty to clean every inch of the castle they will roam upon before they arrive. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Miss Miriam.”

“We will work as one. We will bow as one. We do everything as one, today and all days, ladies. Efficiently, and quietly.” Her eyes fell on you. “No one will cause trouble today. Understood?”

You gulped. The maids chimed together once more, and you could only mouth along with them.

“Yes, Miss Miriam.”

Her gaze left yours, and the tightening of your throat eased.

“Moira will delegate assignments. Those tidying halls will follow me.”

The hallways, all gilded columns and glistening marble, flared victoriously in the morning sun. Most aspects of the castle seemed to emphasize the Creel Monarchy’s pride, their devout sense of self-satisfaction the principal aspect of every painting, vase, and snuffed sconce.

A portrait of the long deceased King James, great-great-great-great grandfather to Prince Henry—though, you pondered calling the number of greats preceding his name into question (and the word great itself)—sneered down at you, seeming perpetually pleased to be two hundred years in the ground and still lording himself over every subject that roamed his halls.

Disdain for all others must have been passed down the family line religiously.

You dragged your eyes down and away, busying yourself instead with dusting the marbleized snoot of Julius Caesar. The crystalline windows of the castle acted like a magnifying glass against you as you worked, adding a heat to the already aching skin of your back. You were a cockroach wandering too close to a flame, and any second now you could burn up from the inside out, crushed with a crunch rather than a squelch.

Using the back of your hand, you wiped the sweat from your brow, eyes wandering dangerously to the maid who worked beside you.

Nancy, owning the more bearable appearance between the two of you, had been sent out to deliver and replace new bed sheets along with thirty other girls. But the girl beside you, taller and owning a mess of dirty blonde hair swept into an apathetic bun, had somewhat of the same spirit of Nancy. A small glimmer of rebellion shone in her eyes each time Miss Miriam wandered far enough down the glittering hallway so as to only be seen by squinting.

Then, with a wry twitch of her freckled face, she’d rasp five blasphemies she’d decided described the witch in that moment.

Musty shrew appeared to be a favorite.

The girl glanced up from where she had been polishing a rickety wooden chair and flashed you a smile, glancing each way before rising from her knees and approaching. She reached out and plopped the brush she had been using on the table holding the marble statue head, and plugged a finger into each of its ears.

“I don’t suppose Jesus here will strike me down for my profanity, will he?”

You looked down. Chiseled above its wrinkled forehead was a laurel crown, and you couldn’t recall a Bible passage describing Jesus’ sabbatical in Rome. You blinked at her.

“I’m pretty sure that’s Julius Caesar.”

The blonde glances at the statue again, gray eyes darting over it before she shrugs. “Same difference. If there is a sculpture of Jesus somewhere in this castle, I have no doubt he’s going to receive the same mouthful of feathers you’re forcing on poor Caesar here.”

“Only if Miss Miriam deems it so.” You nodded your head in the skeletal maid’s direction. “Her words are as good as gospel, after all.”

“And yet, each time she speaks, I feel like I’m taking orders from Satan.”

You let out a ghost of a laugh, biting your tongue when your wounds contract and throb.

Her face splits into a smile, and she lets out a short laugh too. Something flits along her face, though, and you get the sense you didn’t hide your pain well enough. The subject is easily danced around; the maid releases her grip on the statue and instead grasps her skirt, lowering into a teasing curtsy. “The name is Robin, milady.” Her eyelashes flutter rapidly and she waggles her fingers in the air, perfectly, in your opinion, mimicking the interactions between royalty that you’ve seen thus far. Haughty, majestic, and filled with intentions barely skin-deep.

You do the same.

She lets your name roll off her tongue a few times, letting it thud against the crisp white walls in her hoarse tone before saying decidedly, “Very fitting.”

Before long, Miss Miriam decides the hallway is clean enough and herds all the maids, the vast majority of them being newcomers like you, out and away into the next wing.

A chill wracks through you when the word “residential” gets passed down the line of one hundred girls, followed by “prince” and “bedroom” and “handsome.” You scan the white, stone columns as you pass, watching them curve into elegant archways shadowed through the frosted windows. This wing is covered in significantly less dust, and a faint scent of roses and pines floats in the air.

You try to flood out the memories, thinking vigorously about the red carpet before you, the soft slap of two hundred clogs, small shuffles and whispers. Everything around you you swallow up whole, eyes wide as though it will help you take in everything and think about nothing. But you cannot avoid it for long; not when you pass by the entrance to the royal throne room, in all its scintillating enormity, golden thrones set with silk, inlaid with gemstones, all wide open spaces.

And hovering above all four was a single, large oil portrait of the living Creel sovereigns.

King Victor, with his light blue eyes caving underneath the lustrous crown, crisp white beard neatly trimmed. His hand hovered over his wife’s shoulder, smile thin and pale.

Queen Virginia, known for her devout faith and kindness, her amber hair falling in ringlets down to her sides. She sat prim and proper on a ruby-cushioned chair, hands folded prettily, eyes dim.

Princess Alice, the spitting image of her mother, bar her father’s eyes and the last twenty years. Second only to her brother in terms of popularity in the kingdom and out, something distinctly complacent set her brows in such a way you knew instantly why she was desirable to royals and dodged by anyone below them.

And then him.

A part of you hadn’t believed Miss Miriam when she’d called him so.

Your Highness.

But as you looked at him now, standing taller than the rest of his blood, proud and ramrod straight, broad shoulders held back by an invisible force, you knew the portraitist had gotten something wrong.

The hair was right; the golden crown of tousled waves, parted neatly and befitting him far more than any scrap of the earth. The lips, pink and pronounced, and the softness of his brow, and, of course, his posture. All perfect.

But it wasn’t Prince Henry. Not quite.

The eyes. Slate blue and cold, cold, cold. How could the artist have not seen that?

Instead, they were warm and too dark a blue. Almost navy, and gentle, and so soft he almost looked like he was frozen in a smile.

No, no. That wasn’t the Prince Henry you had seen.

Where was the darkness? The cruelty? The evil that shadowed every inch of him?

This was some sterilized version of the crown prince, some unattainable, unreliable, utterly purified visage of him being displayed to the kingdoms in pastime.

He radiated divinity, in and out of the portrait. But without that quality of his that effused danger so potently, you could not help but feel the kingdoms were being sold a lie.

The nervous hiss of your name and a strong grip rattling at your wrist spared you from Prince Henry’s trance once more.

Too much power, he had. Too much… something.

“I get it,” Robin whispered, eyes flitting back and forth as the herd marched on, “completely, I understand. But, you cannot just stand and stare at royalty all day. That’s kind of how you…” she gnawed at the inside of her cheek, “you know, got into your situation in the first place. I’d hate to think what Miss Mule would do if she caught you with a Creel of all people.”

You hesitate to tell her that it was, in fact, a Creel that had gotten you in this position. But if Miss Miriam had decided to hide that information from others, you could only guess there was some merit to hiding that you’d thrown your arms around a prince that was already in high demand.

You had wound up committing one of the worst possible treasons with the worst possible man. You supposed it was quite like learning to swim a day prior and diving into a deep lake the very next day—you’d hit rock-bottom, and you’d only just begun.

To think you shouldn’t already be swinging by your neck right now, face blue and tongue swollen, had the head maid hoarded some minute amount of mercy for you.

That, or she’d known your actions had no great impact upon the integrity of the prince’s pursuits—whether it be accidental or otherwise, Miss Miriam viewed yesterday’s nightmare as a tragic attempt to escape your fate, some sick wishing turned to action wherein you wooed the prince and thus he would marry you.

Of all people. You.

You could retch at the thought.

You’d been raised proper, your parents teaching you well about respect, understanding who deserved it and who did not. They had also taught you that people could be born deserving respect, that it was some inherent betterness of their circumstances that, in turn, warranted curtsies and bowed heads.

Which, in your humble opinion, seemed utter tosh, but so be it. For now, you had a head on your shoulders, feasted somewhat regularly, and slept in warmth. Your clothing had not been sewn by your own hands, and your family was receiving enough coins to not worry about your wellbeing.

No matter that they probably should.

Far be it from you to look gift horses in their mouths, but you felt yourself afforded a nice level of circumspection after your back had been torn to ribbons for a mishap over which you had no control.

You didn’t want to marry the prince. You didn’t want to touch him, and you didn’t want to think about him. And, ignoring all the memories of his larger hands, his blue gaze, his golden strands, and how he may haunt you for years to come, you were quite certain you never wanted to see Prince Henry ever again.

Your back twinged in agreement.

The multitude of fluttering pinafores ahead of you slowed their swishing. Clomping clogs eased into a gentle tapping and finally stopped, and the movements were imparted upon the rest of the maids. A smaller form bumped into your back, and you flinched away, spinning and biting back a cry.

A maid a few years younger than you gaped her mouth, innocence and fear mingling in her expression as brown curls fell over her brow. She seemed so much smaller than the others, more unwitting. Your eyes fell to her hand, a clenched fist in the creases of your skirt, as it hesitatingly fell away.

More distanced shuffling disseminated down the corridor, and you watched the assorted heads of hair in front of you split and separate, clinging to either wall, leaving a wide breadth of distance for someone to pass through. Sunlight filtered between the silent shadows of maids and formed a golden glow of a path.

You followed the others and split off to one side, opposite a window, and grasped blindly for Robin’s hand when she didn’t move to follow. A gentle tug at the fabric of your backside conveyed that the other, younger maid had restored her grip.

From your position, the sun blinded you heavily, and you squinted as a yellow shine overtook everything you saw. White spots splattered your vision when you blinked, but you looked past the maids anyway, curiosity jostling its way down the two lines.

“Your Highness.”

So far ahead, you couldn’t see and only heard Miss Miriam and her staunch and clear-cut announcement. That same loyal tone, somewhat saccharine, frayed your nerves in a second.

The prince?

Curtsies flowed like a wave through the maids, and when you bent low, head bowed, Robin and the young maid followed on either side of you, just as gawky. Nobody rose, and, per Miss Miriam’s orders, nobody would rise until the royalty had passed.

But… dear God, wasn’t it an awful affair that you could tell who it was without even looking? That you could feel a quiet sizzle over the rows of women and girls alike, heard the soft, prideful gait of his finely polished boots.

Back in your village, you’d hated how slowly people could walk. How they’d force you to flounder behind them as they puttered, how they could wander one way and then the other, each footstep a guess. Like they had all the time in the world.

You never would have guessed that a fast pace could be just as troubling. Like he couldn’t stand to be in the same corridor with so many servants, Prince Henry was a brisk wind over the ruby carpets. Even so, you could feel the rise and fall of elation, soft gasps partnered with perfectly timed peeks.

He was a sight to behold—that much had been imprinted on your mind. But he couldn’t possibly be as rumpled as he’d been in the depths of the frosty library, hair thoroughly rakish, white tunic clinging to his golden skin. No; royals held a certain standard of propriety, even as they indulged in the most hedonistic of lifestyles. He must be sheathed in some proper velvet tailcoat, and his face must be severe and sharp, slicing along everything he saw.

Breathtaking in an entirely different way, you were sure.

No, you didn’t look. You couldn’t. You can’t.

Not even as his footsteps approach.

You focus your gaze on your swinging braids, watching them refuse to settle against some unknown breeze. A strain forms in your knuckles with how hard you grip your skirt, and your spine throbs with each heartbeat against the tightened back of your uniform.

Prince Henry slows.

The atmosphere tightens around your little grouping of maids, sun soaking into your black clothing so heavily you can barely breathe.  

We must be in front of a door, some corner he needs to turn to. Something.

Some disturbed pulsing blossoms in your gut when he stops just before you, black boots just inches away. Lithe fingers laden with metal rings hover in your vision.

Prince Henry’s too close all over again.

You want to cry out; you want to say nothing and everything. You want to sink into the furthest recesses of your home miles away just as much as you want to stand at the top of a hill and hold your arms out, waiting for it all.  

Your heart is racing—wild, damned little thing. An insufferable hypocrite after all the ways it had condemned him yesterday for what had happened.

Fingertips, gentle and soft as a single breath, rise and brush over your flaming cheekbone.

A tingle of pain jolts through the bruise so suddenly you flinch away, followed by an indifferent grunt that hangs in the air.

No pity in the sound. No remorse. Barely a hint of acknowledgment.

You want to cradle your cheek and press, hard, at the bridge of your nose, will those wobbling tears to stop. His hand hovers again, twitches near, and, when you lean some scant distance away, falls back to his side.

Within that same second, the boots that hadn’t even turned toward you stalk away. Still fast and proud, no more slows and stops. No more grunts.

But, without a doubt, it was Prince Henry. You’d peeked as the other maids had peeked.

You’d done all that they had done, yet you knew that single touch had doomed you.

That must have been his game. A nice bit of teasing for the maid who'd embraced him; let her be thoroughly beaten down to her station. It was some cruel recognition of what happened to you, some silent sanctioning of a proper punishment.  

Servant does a bad thing; servant gets punished by her peer.

Royal approves. No blood on his hands.

You were right, of course. That portrait was missing Prince Henry’s most vital characteristic: Wickedness.

When the maids rise from their curtsies, trembling thighs and huffed breaths, all eyes fall on you. A range of emotions bombard you before you can rub your cheek.

Wonder.

Awe.

Envy.

And—you can only assume from the thundering footsteps—Miss Miriam’s unparalleled rage.

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[spicywhenspeaking]

Star-Crossed Connection: chapter two

Nick Folio x Original Female Character

WC: 3k

masterpost

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

Seraphina Holloway is Hollywood’s new it girl. But, when an embarrassing viral video of her ex / costar publicly dumping her goes viral, she thinks she needs a quick fix to help maintain her image. When she’s set to appear at her new movies premier she scrambles to find a date to bring that will help take the white hot spotlight away from her public dumping and show that she’s still desirable to all. Enter Nick Folio, drummer of the metalcore band that’s taking over the scene, Bad Omens. He’s a sweet down to earth guy with a heart of gold and when a smokin hot movie star asks him to be her fake boyfriend for a week he agrees to help. But will the line between fake feelings and reals ones start to blur when Seraphina lets her true self show.

Taglist: @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @to-be-written @bngurngheart @jessicafg03 @knivesforapr0 @thatchickwiththecamera @somewhere-diamond @sorrowsofsilence @malerieee @dsireland86 @collapsedglasshouses @jilliemiw86 @samanthasgone -> tags are open !

A few days later I’m finalizing my festival outfits with my stylist. The photos the paparazzi took were splashed all over the tabloids and drama blogs the day after they found Folio and I were ambushed on our date. 

My plan worked like a charm. Every article or blog post was gushing over me and my newfound love. It was almost too easy to sway the public perception. All it took was a few perfectly timed photos of a new hot guy shielding me from the onslaught of flashes and pestering questions from pathetic men who have nothing better to do than follow girls like me around day and night trying to get a million-dollar photo. 

Looking into the 360 mirror I admire the beautiful black one-strapped ball gown my stylist picked out for the movie premiere. “It’s lovely, this was an amazing find, Lala. Did you find any cute stuff for skiing?” Lala smiles and pulls out another rack of clothes with several snowsuits in all different colors. I decide to try on the pink one and the all-white one. 

“I’ll take both of these they’re so hot, so all that’s left is a few choices for the press junket and I’ll look through some of the options you brought for my date.” I move to look through the outfits she’s picked out for folio and choose a black Armani tux and full black snowsuit along with some jewelry that one of my brand deals has sent. “These are perfect, he is going to look so hot,” I say finishing up and choosing a few more accessories from the table. I grab several rings, necklaces and a few different bags. “So things are getting serious between you and this new guy?” Lala asks and I put on my sweetest lovesick smile, “Oh yeah, he’s great. The perfect guy for me. Nothing like the egomaniac actors I usually date. He’s so real.” I answer, fighting the internal ripple of shame that overwhelms me. Folio and I have been texting back and forth since our paparazzi fiasco and he really is a nice guy. I’m a massive asshole for using him like this but it’s just a week and then I can say something about how it was a mutual decision because both of our careers are so hectic. 

Just then my phone pings with a new message 

Nicky F 🏍️❤️‍🔥: TMZ is blowing up my phone about those pics, what should I say?

Seraphina 👑: you can tell them no comment. Or ignore it, it’s up to you! I’m sorry they’re bothering you, I figured they would just bombard me. 

Nicky F 🏍️❤️‍🔥: No worries sweetheart, you can’t control the crazies that follow you around. 

Damn, I fucking suck. I should just be honest with him. It’ll definitely make it easier if he’s in on my plan. 

Well, I’ll explain it all on the plane when we leave in a couple of days and if he decides just to turn around and go back home I will totally understand. It’ll totally ruin my plan and I’ll look even more of a loser but I can’t just keep lying to him about everything. 

I don’t have any plans for the rest of the day so I decide to head home and rot on my couch. While I’m rewatching Gossip Girl for the millionth time on my couch I get a surprising call from a certain motorcycle-driving drummer. I answer it and am surprised by the smile that spreads across my face at the idea of talking to him. 

Hey Folio! 

Hey sweetheart are you busy? 

Um no, just watching TV what’s up?

Are you up for a ride up the coast to watch the sunset? I know a place.

That sounds great! I can be ready in 20. I’ll text you my address. 

Okay, I’ll head over soon. 

Okay! Bye!

Alright, looking forward to it sweetheart. 

Thirty minutes later I hear the hum of a motorcycle from outside and get a text from Folio that he just pulled up. I run out of my front door wearing my black levis with a plain white tee under my cropped black hoodie. “Hey!” I call out over the sound of the motor. “Hey!” he responds quickly hopping off the bike to wrap his arms around me in a quick hug. “You ready to get out of here?” he asks and I nod enthusiastically “Yes, I’m excited!” 

He climbs back over and I throw my leg over the side behind him and wrap my arms around his waist as he starts up the bike again. “Hold on tight sweetheart” he drawls out as he turns out of the driveway and down the road. 

“I’m taking you to a spot near Malibu that’s beautiful at sunset,” he says over the sound of the roaring motor. 

It takes over an hour to get to the beach, the sun is low but there are still maybe 10 minutes left before it’s fully set. We park and Folio grabs a blanket from a storage trunk on the side of his bike. We walk hand-in-hand to a spot with little foot traffic. He unfolds it, it’s thick, hand-woven, and dark red. It’s large and looks big enough for us to both sit comfortably off of the sand. He spreads it out on the ground so we can sit and watch the sun take its last moments before dipping below the horizon. 

“So, Phi, can I call you Phi?” he asks softly as his gaze slides from the sunset to me. I nod softly as he continues, the orange light of the sun covering him in a warm glow. “so Phi, I want to help you with this whole festival thing, but can you give me some information about what I might expect? Will the paparazzi be around every corner? Or is that only when you give them a heads up where you’ll be?”  

I try and fail to hide the embarrassment and shock that’s written all over my face. “What- what do you mean? Heads up? What do you even mean?- I” his unamused face is all it takes for me to drop the act. I had said to myself I wanted to be honest with him but I guess I didn’t anticipate getting caught. “I’m sorry,” I say with a sigh, “how did you know?”

He laughs softly and tosses a rock he found on the other side of the blanket towards the crashing waves. “I had a hunch, and a photographer friend of mine may have given me a heads up.” He arches a brow at me, waiting for my reply.

“I was going to tell you, I swear. I know that doesn’t mean anything now but-“ I look up as the sun finally disappears, leaving the sky a beautiful orange and pink. “I didn’t want to keep lying to you. I know we’re practically strangers and for some reason, you’ve agreed to help me with this absurd plan, but from now on I promise I will keep you informed on all of the things I can control” I turn to face him, prepared for him to either tell me the plan is off or by some miracle bless me with forgiveness. 

“You know, we could’ve given them way more of a show if I had known” he laughs and the tension I was holding between my shoulders drops. “I don’t really understand your world or how it works but if you teach me I’m happy to play along,” he says and it feels so sincere, I almost wish this was real, but he’s right, he’s just playing along. 

“I think I’ve just let this whole situation get to me too much, I mean look at me, asking some stranger to pretend to be my boyfriend because I’m too--well, it doesn’t matter. I just, all I’ve ever wanted was to act and my parents did everything to help me get to this point. I can’t help but think of how ashamed my dad would be to see me now” 

Folio bumps lightly into my shoulder before throwing his arm around me and pulling me closer into his side. “Strangers? I don’t think so, but there’s definitely more I want to learn about you Phi. I don’t think he’d be ashamed at all.”  He says as he rests his head on the top of mine while we watch the final colors of the day disappear and the darkness of night blanket the sky. “What are you doing tomorrow?” 

“Just final packing for the trip, didn’t have much of anything planned,” I answer. 

He takes a moment to think before he speaks again, “What if instead of flying to Colorado we rent a car and drive to Colorado together? It’s only a 14-hour drive. It will give us time to get to know each other better and since it’s a rental we can just fly home at the end of the week. What do you think?” He asks gaze still fixed on the horizon. 

Humming in thought I consider his proposition. “You want to road trip to Colorado? I guess I could get a last-minute rental, we’d need to leave tomorrow though, you can be prepared for that?”

He huffs out a laugh, “Yeah, I can pack pretty fast.” I laugh as well at the absurdity of the way this is all turning out. But it sounds like it will be a fun adventure. We spend a bit longer on the beach making idle conversation. I was able to work out a rather quick rental agreement thanks to my brand deal with Hertz and I sent a quick text to my assistant that I would be traveling up a day early. She and my glam team are going to meet us at the resort. “Well, your spontaneity has worked out in our favor. I have the car teed up to be sent to my house at 7 am. I can pick you up after and we can head out.” He excitedly agrees to the plans and even offers to just meet at my house, as long as he can park his bike there while we are gone. 

After Folio drops me off later that evening I rush around to pack a quick bag. Jules, my assistant, has already arranged for my clothes to be sent to my hotel room at the festival so I just need to pack a few essentials into my suitcase, my daily makeup and toiletries along with my loungewear and casual clothes. It’s already late and I’m exhausted by the time my head hits the pillow so sleep overtakes me quickly.

I’m awoken by the sound of my alarm going off at 6:30 am and I find myself feeling excited about the prospects of the day despite the early hour, especially after getting way less sleep than usual. No worries though, nothing a little coffee can’t fix. I throw on a comfortable outfit for a long car ride and begin making my first coffee of the day. Around 6:50 am I received the text that the car was here so I run out to accept the key and sign the final paperwork. 

“Oh shit! You’re Seraphina Holloway! I’m a huge fan, your show on MTV was amazing! I can’t believe they canceled it!” the guy who dropped off the car said with a huge smile spread across his face. “Haha thank you! I loved being on that show it was such a fun time! I’m glad you liked it!” I reply. He leaves with a giddy smile and waves excitedly as he pulls away in the car that followed him in with the rental. I ended up with a black 2024 Chevy Tahoe and it looks so cool. 

I am bringing out my bag to load into the trunk when I hear the rumble of Folio’s bike coming up the road as he turns the corner up my driveway I can’t help the goofy smile I give him, I almost feel self-conscious about how happy I am to see him until he whips his helmet off and is wearing a matching smile of his own. “Mornin’ Phi, how are ya feeling?” he asks while hanging his helmet off of the handles of his bike. He walks over to wraps his arms around me in a big hug. “Hey Nicky, I’m feeling great! I’m excited about the road trip. How are you?”

He sides my bag onto his shoulder and gestures for me to unlock the trunk. “I’m feeling great sweetheart. I’m excited as well! I hope you’re prepared for a killer playlist.” 

“Oh you’re on! We will see who’s musical prowess puts who on top.” I jokingly tease. He laughs and puts the rest of his things in the car along with my bag. 

I invite him inside while I finish locking up, I offer Folio a coffee and he accepts thankfully. “Oh my god yes please, my roommates drank the last of the creamer and I cannot drink black coffee.” I laugh as I make us two fresh vanilla iced lattes for the road.

Heading towards the car I offer to drive the first leg. Nicky tried to offer to drive the whole thing but I can’t allow that. Plus splitting it up will help it go by faster. 

“Alright! Let’s hit the road, Nicky! Next stop Colorado baby!!!” I pump my fists in celebration and before I can feel the embarrassment of the action take over he’s pumping his fists as well “WooHoo! Hell yeah! Lets gooo!” he calls out and I can’t help the joyus laugh that takes over as we back out and talk off down the road. My phone is connected to the carplay so I have control over the first music rotation. “Alright, this is my time to shine. For your consideration.” I say before hitting shuffle on my road trip playlist.

It starts off with playing Panama by Van Halen. “oh shit! Starting it off strong with Van Halen. You are more than meets the eye Hollywood.” 

I laugh with my whole body, “Not what you expected huh? My dad used to quiz me on car rides, I was raised on classic rock.” 

jump back, what's that sound ? 

Here she comes, full blast and top down. 

Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue. 

Model citizen zero discipline 

Don't you know she's coming home with me? 

You'l lose her in the turn. 

I'll get her!

“Panama, Panama Panama, Panama Ain't nothin' like it, her shiny machine. Got the feel for the wheel, keep the moving parts clean.” we sing along together. 

When the song finishes and “Go Your Own Way” starts next. “So I found this list of questions to get to know each other better on the road,” Folio says. “So, starting off easy, what are your three favorite movies?” 

“Oh crap, oh my god? Easy?? Okay….three favorite movies are Pride and Prejudice from 2005, Pacific Rim but NOT the sequel and oh god, um I’ll say Secret World of Arrietty, which is a Studio Ghibli. What about you?” I ask.

“Okay I love Pacific Rim so I trust you and will be watching the other that you mentioned. I like Star Wars Empire Strikes Back, Kill Bill, and the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” 

“I love horror movies! And omg okay nerd of course you would say the name of the episode instead of just Star Wars.” I joke and he laughs. “alright alright, it’s an important distinction. Real fans know what’s up. Okay, next question, what is your favorite photo?”

I think for a moment about all the pictures I’ve ever taken and am hit with a beautiful memory, “there was a summer my family took a vacation to the Florida coast and my cousins and I started a sand castle competition. I built a huge three-story sand mansion. My dad helped me get the towers just right. My mom took a picture of us right as a tower fell,” I laugh softly, “my dad and I are laughing hysterically as it falls, I didn’t even care about winning I was just having fun with my dad.” 

I turn my eyes off the road for a quick moment to look over at Nicky and he’s smiling thoughtfully. “That’s beautiful Phi, sounds like it was a great trip.”

“Oh god no, our hotel was infested with fleas, and my dad’s credit card got stolen on the second day, but those hours on the beach made it all worth it. Okay your turn, favorite picture.” 

Folio opens his phone and scrolls through rows of photos until he finally lands on one, “this one is for sure on of my favorites.” I look quickly and it’s a photo of him and the other guys from his band all grouped together with huge grins on their faces, almost like they’re laughing. “It was after the first concert of our first tour, I was the happiest I had ever been and when I knew that I’d do anything to make this dream come true with those guys.”

“That’s amazing Nicky, and you guys did it! That’s amazing.” 

We continue our game of a million questions for a few more hours of the drive while listening to music in the background. One question leads to more conversations and I feel like I’ve talked more genuinely about myself than I have in years. It’s so refreshing. At the halfway point we pull off in a small diner and eat a quick early dinner before Folio takes over for his leg of the drive. 

The great music and conversation make the last hours of the trip fly by, before I know it we are passing the Colorado state line in the late evening and finally pull into the resort’s long drive way at nearly 3 am for our check-in. I take a deep breath, “okay, are you ready fake boyfriend?” I ask him and he gives a mock salute, “oh I’m ready girlfriend, it’s gonna be a good time.”

next chapter ->

[anansianansi]

Hot Heavy Summer update!!

Three years ago, I decided to write a fic that mirrored the Clexaweek2021 prompts. Time flies, etc. etc. and I've decided to finish this story up.

Fic summary: By all accounts, Clarke Griffin, Hollywood's most bankable superstar, has made it. Except a decision, and a sacrifice to get there has haunted her for years.

Chapter 1 (Accidental Love Confession) is here; Chapter 2 (Wanna Bet?) is here.

Chapter 3: Reunited

“Just look at this.” Niylah tossed a newspaper down on the marble tabletop; it skidded to a halt before Clarke, who was sitting cross legged on the velvet lounger, her silk bathrobed-self framed by the brilliance of another perfectly rising day in the wall of windows behind her. Without raising her head, Clarke cast an eye over the front of the tabloid. “Hmmm.” She slurped a particularly loud sip of her green-powered smoothie, alternating with it a bite of her avocado-laden slice of toast.

Niylah sighed, crossing her arms. In spite of her annoyance, she studied Clarke’s nonchalant pose carefully; then, moving quickly, she pulled out her phone, snapping a series of photo bursts, the miniscule differences between them - in the shift of Clarke’s shoulders, of her lips pursed slightly more appealingly in one over the other - being the decisive factor for the winning contender that would make it to Clarke’s Instagram, just in time for morning cereal with a side of fawning for her millions of followers. That would be what Niylah’s coffee break would be for. For now, there was a much larger fire to put out. 

“Clarke! It’s all over the news. Here. And here.” Niylah laid out the remaining papers deliberately, making sure each headline was clearly visible. ‘It’s ‘show’time!’; ‘Who is Clarke’s dirty little secret?’; ‘Clarke G bets her a** and her heart!’; ‘Clarke’s Charity is Jaha’s Jackpot.’

Still, Clarke said nothing, but her eyes lingered over the last, blaring front page at the very corner of the table. ‘Is Finn In….or Clarke Out?” She made a note to at least skim over that one later; the editorial team had a penchant for particularly vicious, mostly wildly inaccurate spins on her life. Mostly.

“And I haven’t even checked the online news alerts yet.” Niylah ranted on, sinking down in her chair, running her hands across her face. It wasn’t even seven AM, and she was exhausted. “This is an unmitigated disaster. You’ve put yourself between a bullet and a target.”

Clarke snorted, finally looking up at her publicist, sarcasm painted across her face. “So what you’re saying is that nothing’s changed.” She raised an arm to the back of her neck, massaging it gently, trying to ease the crick that seemed to have ossified there in the last three days. “Relax, Niylah. They can work themselves up over nothing, as usual. I’ve got this.”

“How? Just how have you “got this”? It’s chaos...chaos, outside. I don’t even know how we’re going to get you out of here today.” Niylah reached for an empty mug, helping herself to the freshly brewed coffee on the table; Clarke didn’t touch the stuff, but still had a pot sent up every day. In the mad rush before the Oscars, Niylah had spent more time in Clarke’s hotel suite than at her own, tiny apartment across town. “They’re going to be on you like hyenas. Why did you do it, anyway?”

“Because I fucking wanted to. Doesn’t that count for anything any more?” Clarke snapped, brow furrowing as she felt the first prickle of annoyance of the day.

Read the rest of the chapter here.

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 8 Matsuribayashi pt. 4

What peculiar timing on my part that I started reading this in an election year. Of course how could I have known way back in June the series would eventually take a turn into the world of politics? Also, not to make assumptions, but do you suppose the KKK is a well enough known organization in Japan? What other “secret society with white hoods” exists?

I didn’t know a zaibatsu was their term for a shadow government. I just thought it was a giant massive megacorp. To be fair though, I only really ever heard the term in the Tekken games with the Mishima Zaibatsu. Or Grand Theft Auto 2.

I have no evidence to support this theory, but I am willing to bet that Takano’s butt is a rather firm butt. She strikes me as the sort of woman who would do the popular eighties work out routines to tone it to a nice touchable degree. What sort of butt do you think Miyo Takano has?

Also given information we learn later on regarding Koizumi and Takano this conversation becomes a bit more squiffy. But enough about Miyo Takano’s butt, loath as I am to move on from such a topic.

From asses to nuclear weapons, you never know where Higurashi will take you next. As a brief aside, doesn’t everyone dream of the scenario where someone gives you a briefcase full of money? Tens of millions of dollars worth especially?

There’s a part much much later on where some of the government officials who are more or less the financial backers into the Hinamizawa Syndrome research who speculate that the entire operation was an embezzlement scheme. So looking back at it now, I have to wonder about when along the timeline this section takes place. Because reading it makes it sound like it’s happening before the establishment of the Irie Institute. Also why Koizumi just so happened to have hundreds of millions ready to go to in attache cases to give to Takano.

It’s somewhat clear that this was meant to get the ball rolling for official government support/backing to begin the research in earnest. But I’m just curious about the tentative timeframe of events, also if Takano just took the bags of money, and established a small research lab in Okinomiya, say, until she was able to secure funding for the larger research.

I’ve heard rumblings that Matsuribayashi isn’t as well-regarded as the other chapters in the series. I can’t help but wonder if this is part of the reason why? The sudden change into going from a story about supernatural murder turning to a story about mind control parasites, to now diving into a history lesson about some of Japan’s actions in World War II? I’ve not finished the chapter as yet, so I imagine there’s going to be something much stupider/worst that’s going to occur at some point to really undercut my enjoyment. But I wonder if part of the negative reception to this particular entry is because of the lengthy interludes about politics and history?

For what it’s worth I find these swerves into the political upheaval during the war to be fairly amusing. Because of the notion that during the final days of the war the Japanese government was trying to Resident Evil their way out of the situation. But at the end of the day pulled the plug on it because trying to make a bioweapon out of Hinamizawa Syndrome would’ve taken too long to be a solution to their problem.

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 29

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"What about this jacket?"

"What about it?" I ask.

"Does it look good with these jeans?"

"Yeah."

"Val, you haven't looked at me."

"You look really good" I say, quickly looking at Pedri and then back at my laptop.

"You didn't have time to check me out."

"Pedri, right now I only have time to finish this before the last day of school. I'm sorry."

"You could do with a break."

"I actually could, yes" I sigh. "My eyes are starting to hurt."

"A good way to make them feel better is by looking at your hot and extremely handsome boyfriend."

"You are so modest" I laugh. 

"But I'm not lying, am I?" 

"Well…"

"Rude" Pedri says, sticking out his tongue. "What are you going to wear?" he says while getting changed.

"What do you mean?"

"The Barça party, Val. What are you going to wear?"

"What?" I ask with a confused look.

"Don't you remember? We talked about it a few days ago. The club is throwing an end of the season party to celebrate that we won the Copa del Rey."

"No, we didn't talk about it."

"We did, Val" he says, rolling his eyes. "It took me ages to convince you to come with me."

"You convinced me to go to Ter Stegen's party, not one by the club."

"You said yes to both!"

"I didn't!"

"You did! I already told them that you are coming with me and they saved you a seat!"

"Then tell them to cancel it, because I'm not going" I shrug.

"What?"

"I'm not going" I repeat.

"Val, c'mon" he says, sitting down on the bed next to me. "It's just a party."

"No."

"C'mon…"

"I said no."

"But why? We promised we would tell each other everything, Val. That this time we were going to do it right."

"I know."

"Then why don't you want to go to the party? Are you afraid that because it is a Barça one, it may make Real Madrid finally forbid you from going back to the Bernabéu?" Pedri asks with a teasing smile.

"They've probably done that already. I'm sleeping with the enemy, stupidly in love with him, and a couple of weeks ago I celebrated that they won a title."

"I think Florentino will understand. He knows I'm irresistible."

"Maybe not so much if they didn't want to sign you" I smirk.

"That's low, Val" he chuckles. "Anyway, the party."

"Yeah, change the topic" I laugh.

"The party. Why don't you want to go?"

"Because…" I say, taking a deep breath. "Because it is a club party, and that means photographers waiting outside to catch you all arriving. The moment they see us together, they will go crazy and take a million photos of us that will end up on the internet five minutes later, and your fans will go nuts like happened after your interview on La Resistencia."

"That could happen, yes."

"It will happen. And things won't be nice after that. They will tear me to pieces and overanalyze everything, from what I'm wearing to the way we are looking at each other, holding hands… everything. And when they realize I am Ferran's supposed girlfriend, they'll start theorizing about me being the reason why he left, that I cheated on him with you, that I was seeing you both at the same time, that we were a threesome…"

"What?" he laughs.

"It's the internet" I shrug. "But there is more. Because the moment someone who knows me sees those photos, they'll start gossiping about it and judging me because I'm dating someone way younger and who happens to be a football player. And then whoever exposed me after the Camp Nou incident, which I believe was Isabel, will start posting photos about me, sharing details about my life, definitely lie… It will get nasty."

"Or not."

"It will, Pedri. You know it will. And I'm not ready to go through all that yet."

"Ok… But what if we don't arrive together? What if we do it in a group with Gavi and Eric and some others? That way they won't know who you are attending with."

"No."

"Then what if…"

"I said no, Pedro!"

"There is no need to yell, Valeria!"

"Then stop insisting! I don't even know why it is so important if I go to that stupid party or not."

"Because it isn't stupid?" he laughs. "We are celebrating that I won a title, remember?" 

"One we already celebrated when you won it. I don't need to do it again."

"Val…" Pedri sighs. "I'm tired."

"So am I. I've been working on this thing for ages."

"Not like that" he says, rolling his eyes. "I'm tired of this. Of us hiding our relationship, of arguing because of it." 

"We are not hiding anything, we are being private. It isn't the same."

"We are hiding it, Val. Since the world knows I have a girlfriend, we are constantly worried about someone seeing us together and taking a photo to the point that we don't even go outside for a walk around my neighborhood. And I can't keep living like this. I want to be able to do normal things with my girlfriend like we used to."

"It isn't that easy, Pedri."

"I know, but… There must be some middle ground, right? It doesn't have to be black or white. And I understand your fears, I truly do. The way some people will react also scares me. But I… I need more, Val."

"I'm already going to the other party" I say. "And I promise I will mingle with the others, that I won't sit down in a corner and look miserable."

"Ok" he says. "But what about us, Val? About not hiding?" 

"I can't give you more right now, Pedri. You know how chaotic things are at the school, and then with my mum nothing has improved, it has actually gotten worse. I can't add more to it, more worries."

"Yeah…"

"I'm sorry, Pedri" I say, reaching for his hand.

"It's ok" he replies, avoiding my touch before getting up from the bed and leaving the room. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Oh my God, it can't be. Valeria at a party? I must be dreaming."

"Shut up, Ferran."

"I've missed you too" he chuckles. "Hello, bro" he says to Pedri.

"Hi" he replies. "I'm gonna go get myself a beer."

"I also want… one" I say. But he has left already, definitely not hearing me. Or not wanting to.

"What happened, Val?" 

"Uh?"

"Between you and Pedri. What happened to make him act like that?" Ferran asks me.

"I happened" I sigh. "But I don't want to bother you with our problems."

"Val, you guys are my friends. Let me help you."

Since he had left Barcelona, things between Ferran, Pedri and I had kind of gone back to normal. Or as normal as they could be. So maybe...

"Ok, fine" I sigh again. "Why don't you get me a beer and I tell you everything? We also have to catch up on your new life in Manchester."

"Perfect. But you go first."

"I go first" I say, trying to smile.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val…"

"I know, Ferran. I know."

"You have to do something."

"Yes, but what?"

"I… I don't know… But look at the people here at this party. You see some of the girls supporting their partners at their games and then don't hear about them again. It doesn't have to be hiding or posting about each other on Instagram 24/7, you know?"

"I know. Find a middle ground like Pedri said."

"Exactly!"

"But that's easier said than done, Ferran. Because these girls don't have an army of rabid teenagers following every step their boyfriend takes and tearing apart every woman who dares to go close to him" I say.

"Val, you need to stop worrying so much about the teenagers. Yes, they will cry, and get mad, and write disgusting things. But there will also be fans who will support your relationship and ship you like Marina says because they can see how happy Pedri is with you. Not all of them are brainless" he laughs.

"I know. The nasty ones usually are just a loud minority. Or a very loud minority in this case."

"Then let them scream all they want and live your life, Val. You've had a tough year, so enjoy your holidays with Pedri and don't give a shit about what anyone says. Just be happy."

"When did you become so wise, Ferran?" I laugh. "Is it the Manchester air?"

"The air… and a certain redhead perhaps" he smiles.

"What? Tell me everything. Now."

"Maybe another day. Now you are gonna go mingle with the other wags like you promised Pedri."

"Please don't call me a wag, I hate it."

"Ok" he laughs. "Now go talk with the girls."

"Fine, I'm going. But you owe me a conversation" I say, threatening him with my finger.

"And you will have it. Now go."

"Thank you, Ferran" I smile.

"Anything for you, Val" he replies.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"That was nice, wasn't it?" Pedri says on our way home after the party.

"Yeah."

"Thank you for keeping your promise, by the way."

"Uh?"

"About talking with the other girls. When I saw you with Ferran I thought you would spend the rest of the night with him."

"Nah… though he owes me a conversation. Did you know he is seeing someone?"

"He also owes me that conversation" Pedri laughs. "But what did you talk about, then?"

"Us. I mean, you and I. He gave me a really good piece of advice."

"May I ask what it is?"

"That I need to stop worrying about the crazy teenagers and live my life. So that's what I'm gonna do this summer. Enjoy my holidays and my boyfriend and not care about anything else."

"Really?" 

"Yep. And since I'm into keeping my promises… I promise you I will do that. Enjoy the summer and you."

"And I promise I will make you enjoy the summer, me, and yourself" he smirks.

"Always thinking about the same, Pedro" I say, rolling my eyes. 

"I could promise you I will stop thinking with my dick, but…"

"Not happening."

"Nope" he laughs. "But I can promise you another thing."

"I'm listening."

"I can promise you that I will love you until the day I die."

"You are so cheesy" I laugh. "But I promise that too."

"You do?"

"I do. I love you, Pedri" I say, kissing his cheek.

"I love you too" he smiles.

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

illicit affairs | twenty three

*I would suggest listening to Who are you? on repeat for this chapter...you'll see why :)*

*Ellie's POV*

“Everyone’s gone, now what?”

I looked over at Noah after the guys left to head out on their trip. The house was so quiet and I felt like I could breathe. Bryan was dropping hints of not wanting to go and staying behind to hang out but Noah practically dragged him out to the car. Between moving and having Liam for three weeks because Tyler was in Europe with his family, we hardly had any time to ourselves. Liam was with Tyler as well, so now we finally had some alone time.

“Well, we have no groceries…” I sighed, rubbing my twitching eyes. Between unpacking and emotionally preparing for Matt to show up my energy was drained. “El…” Noah walked over to me, wrapping me up in his arms. “You go sit on the couch and pick out a movie for us. I’ll go out and grab us something.” “Internet and cable guy doesn’t come until tomorrow.” I whined into his chest, causing him to softly laugh. “Use my phone as a hotspot.” He suggested as he kissed the top of my head. “I’ll be back…I love you.” I pouted as I watched him leave the house, today was too much for me. After finding a blanket in one of the million boxes around here, I plunked myself down on the couch and waited for Noah. My eyelids started to feel heavy as I got comfortable on the couch. I drifted off in a matter of seconds, sleeping off the day I had.

“Ellie, I’m back.” I woke up to Noah’s hand on my shoulder, gently waking me up. He kissed my forehead softly before I followed him into the kitchen. My mouth started to water as I saw he picked up Greek from one of our favourite restaurants, along with a case of Diet Coke. I didn’t even have to tell him what I wanted to drink, he just knew. I’ve never met a man who could let me fully shut my brain off quite like him.

We had no plates unpacked yet so we took our take out containers into the living room and ate while we watched Terrifier 2 on Noah’s iPad. People would think we were crazy for watching something this gory while we ate but it didn’t phase us at all.

“How did you get so good at this?” Halfway through the movie, Noah could feel how stressed out I was and my body wouldn’t relax. He spent the rest of the movie massaging my shoulders, neck and temples. He even volunteered to French braid my hair for me to get it out of my face. Another first for us, but damn… was it ever relaxing. My eyes closed, feeling his fingers gently run through my hair as he picked up more pieces and gently tugging it tighter with each braid he did. “May I remind you of how long my hair was?” “I remember.” I paused, remembering how I used to watch him on twitch when I was still married to Tyler. “That feels like a lifetime ago I was watching you play fall guys and losing your mind every time.” “It's insane to me that the love of my life was watching me be an idiot online." I chuckled, “I weirdly felt like I was falling for you even back then…now look at me.” His lips pressed onto my neck ever so gently after finishing up with my hair, “I’m so happy you’re here.”   I admired my surroundings, completely blessed to have what I did, “I am too.” 

“Wanna go for a swim?”

“I’d love to.” I replied as Noah helped me off the floor. 

Moments later he came down the stairs with two towels for us. I asked about swimsuits and he playfully smirked at me, insinuating that we were gonna skinny dip in our pool for the first time. Noah went to turn on some music for us and turn on our patio lights. I quickly stripped myself and jumped into the pool, hoping our poor neighbours didn’t see anything. What a way to introduce ourselves to the neighbourhood. 

As I came up for air, Noah met me in the middle of the pool, instantly wrapping his hand around my neck and kissing me desperately. My tongue grazed his teeth as I felt his hands wander, keeping us a float as we enjoyed each other’s company. I started to grow cold, but Noah wanted to swim for a little longer. I wrapped myself up in a towel while I sat at the edge of the pool watching him. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, the way his tattoos glistened with the water, how his hair was perfectly slicked back from being wet. He was so beautiful. I still had to pinch myself to believe he was real and this was real. “Damn this pool is the perfect size.” Noah commented as he started to slowly swim towards over to me, making my heart pound in my chest as I anticipated his next move. He locked his somber eyes on me as he floated between my thighs, slowly moving them apart. 

“Noah what are you -“ 

“Shh.” He coos, kissing my inner thighs gently. “Bring yourself closer to me baby.”

Swallowing a lump in my throat, I did what he asked. He smirked as I got closer, practically hovering over the pools edge. I was met with his warm tongue and my eyes immediately rolled into the back of my head.

“Fuck, Noah, I -” 

I bit my lip to swallow my stifled moans. He brought my legs over his shoulders so he could get closer, licking my clit with the softest strokes. I laid back on the patio looking up at the sky but all I saw was the stars Noah was making me see. My body began to squirm as that all familiar feeling fluttered in my stomach as I got closer. He stayed persistent, talking me through my orgasm between breaths. My body became limp as I tried to gain my composure. Noah gently kissed between my thighs before sending me the sweetest smile. 

“I think I’m gonna love living with you.”

[canonicallyobserving911]

Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 22 will be posted soon.

Currently 21 chapters completed: 797.4K Words; Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

[#1 Previous snippet from Several Sentences Sunday]

[#2 Previous snippet from WIP Wednesday]

____________

I'm excited to finish writing Chapter 22 because there's less than one day remaining until Buck and Eddie get married.

For anyone who hasn't read Chapter 21, here's a brief overview: Buck and Eddie finalized everything before the three of them left L.A. on Friday, December 15th. On December 10th, Buck agreed to meet with his biological father and Eddie and Chris will be present with him when they meet at 12 noon at the restaurant Edward selected. Buck still doesn't know Chris is going to ask him to adopt him on Christmas morning and neither Buck nor Chris knows anything about the gift Eddie bought to commemorate the special moment. Also, Eddie's planning several big surprises for Buck on their wedding day and for a week later when they arrive in London but Eddie doesn't know Chris and Buck are planning a surprise for him too. The three of them are speaking Italian more frequently and finally, Maddie, the 118 and Athena are still planning to throw them an engagement party because they don't know they're getting married which means New Year's Eve at Maddie's and Chimney's is going to be interesting 😉.

Buck and Eddie will tie the knot before Christmas 2023 but they are NOT getting married in the U.S. and they won't have a wedding ceremony until May 2024. They've revealed their relationship, their engagement and the fact that they're going to Europe to their found family during the 118's Thanksgiving dinner (Chapter 17), to Eddie's parents, his sisters, his abuela and Tia Pepa (Chapter 18) and Buck told the Buckley parents he's getting married and that he has a son (Chapter 19). Only three people know they're getting married and they are Chris, Carla and Malone. They told Carla and Malone (Chapter 19) because they asked them to be their witnesses at the Italian Consulate and they told Chris (Chapter 20) that evening after they got the "Atto Notorio" (Declaration) signed but no one else knows. In Chapter 21, Buck, Eddie and Chris arrived in Rome, Italy and they're preparing for the big day.

___________

Here's another romantically fluffy snippet from Chapter 22 of Eddie and Buck having a conversation while they're in their bedroom inside of their villa in Roma, Italia.

___________

Since Buck’s currently lying on his back soundly sleeping, Eddie decides he’s going to wake him up with a kiss.  He walks over to the bed and when he’s standing next to it, he slowly pulls back the blankets along with the top sheet in an effort not to wake him.  Once the covers are off to the side, he climbs on top of him the same way he did the night he got home from work and Buck was asleep on the couch.  He’s careful not to put all of his weight on him but once his face is in front of Buck’s, he leans down and places a soft kiss onto his pretty pink lips.  After he pulls back, he waits until his gorgeous fiancé stirs.

As soon as Buck’s eyes open, the sight of them literally takes Eddie’s breath away and he becomes mesmerized the same way he does every morning when he sees his beautiful blue eyes.  They’re always the bluest of blue this time of day and they’re so bright they remind him of a pair of shiny sapphires.

He kisses him on the lips once more, then he pulls back, smiles and greets, “Buongiorno, amore mio”.  [“Good morning, my love.”]

Buck returns his million-dollar Eddie smile and in his sleep ridden and raspy British sounding morning voice, he replies, “Buongiorno, piccola”.  [“Good morning, babe”.]

“Avete dormito bene?”  [“Did you sleep well?”]

“Sì, l’ho fatto.  Hai fatto?”  [“Yes, I did.  Did you?”]

“Sì.”  [“Yes.”]

Without taking their eyes off each other, they stay in the moment with their faces only millimeters apart and their bodies pressed together from their chests all the way down to their hips.  Eddie’s legs are in between Buck’s and he fits perfectly because the space was created just for him.

“Ti amo cosi tanto.  Sei la mia anima gemelli e non posso vivere senza di te.”  [“I love you so much.  You’re my soulmate and I can’t live without you.”]  Eddie admits.

“Ti amo anch’io.  Sei l’amore dell amia vita.”   [“I love you too.  You’re the love of my life.”]

As he gazes into those ocean blue eyes he loves so much, he moves his head and softly kisses his cheek, then he places an open mouth kiss onto his neck right underneath his earlobe and whispers, “Oggi é il giorno del nostro matrimonio” [“Today is our wedding day”] and he lifts his head so he can meet his eyes again.

Buck’s smile widens even more and he’s so happy he thinks he might burst and he knows if he does, his body will ooze love goo for Eddie because he’s head over heels in love with him.  He lifts both of his hands and places one on each side of Eddie’s face.  “Lo é e sono cosi felice.  Non vedo l’ora di sposarti.”  [“It is and I’m so happy.  I can’t wait to marry you.”]  Right after the words leave his lips, he gently pulls Eddie’s face closer to his and passionately kisses him.

Their soft and sweet kiss quickly turns heated when Eddie rolls his tongue and they immediately get lost in it.

Eddie moans and gasps into it so much so that he never wants it to end but he knows it has to or else they’ll never get out of bed.  It’s imperative they do because he’s planned a lot of things he’s going to do for Buck and the first one will happen as soon as they leave the room.

After about a minute, Eddie breaks the kiss and it causes Buck to poke his bottom lip out into a pout.

He chuckles then he kisses it away and says, “Vieni con me.  Andiamo perché ho una sorpresa per te.” [“Come with me.  Let’s go because I have a surprise for you.”]

Buck raises his eyebrows and asks, “Una sopresa per me?”  [“A surprise for me?”]

“Sì, amore mio.” [“Yes, my love.”]  He kisses him again and after he pulls back, he admits, “Oggi é il tuo giorno Diaz.”  [“Today is your Diaz day.”]

What does Eddie have planned for Buck’s first “Diaz Day”? 👀

How many surprises will there be? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Has he planned even more than those he coordinated with Appolonia before they left L.A.? 🙃

___________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-21 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

Chapter 22 will be posted soon.

[sorry-moots]

Inversion of Genesis But I Changed It

so i started mha and subsequently was imbued with the urge to Create but i harnessed my inspiration and finished chapter 11 because i left you guys starving so i could be emo and get a job characters featured: yvette (oc), nilou, pierre (oc) cws: none wc: 1,449

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Chapter Eleven

Yvette found you at some point. Being employed by Lord Scaramouche, she was in the same boat as you– stranded in a foreign nation with a comatose employer and no friends or family.

Having her around made things easier. The night that your master slipped into his coma, you were effectively jobless and homeless. The next morning, you leased an apartment together.

About a month has passed since then. Bit by bit, you’ve been chipping away from the savings that you brought with you. You were already low on funds from the deposit and the down payment. Though you had split the cost, Yvette couldn’t afford to cover more than a fourth.

I need to get a job… Only, it’s not that simple. Everyone could tell you were a Fatuus. It’s obvious from the way you dress, the way you talk, the way your eyes scan the entire environment as you move through it.

No one trusts the Fatui and less than no one likes the Fatui. Finding someone willing to hire you would be almost impossible and even then you could be fired for the smallest of slights.

Still, it’s not fair to Yvette. As soon as you told her what had happened, she went out in search of a job. Now, she’s working as a maid for the mysterious lord of the Palace of Alcazarzaray.

You get to work writing your resume. “Assistant to the Sixth Fatui Harbinger” might not get you anywhere with most people, but there’s gotta be someone out there who doesn’t care. Right?

*****

Two months later, you finally strike out.

Since the Akasha was shut down, scholars from every Darshan are struggling with the return to traditional research. It’s been hard to get past the initial shock— they went from having all of Sumeru’s knowledge whispering in their ears to permanent radio silence. Everyone is desperate for any help they could get; the House of Daena librarians could only handle so many requests at a time.

Back in Snezhnaya, everything is filed analog-style. Chronologically ordered documents within filing cabinets of alphabetized folders, rolodexes with names and addresses for every Fatui contact of import, binders with detailed reports of missions and related expenses. Having the expertise of a professional secretary, you get a job working for some student researchers.

The pay isn’t glamorous in the least, but no one else would hire you. Not the stockbrokers, not the grocers, not even the owners of the Puspa Café or Lambad’s Tavern. No one with any customers to lose wanted a former Fatuus working for them, so this was your only option.

Your job is very straightforward: find and assess relevant subject matter. The actual execution isn’t quite as simple. The House of Daena is the largest library in Teyvat, boasting a collection of over three hundred million books, scriptures, and tomes. Combing through it all is a huge effort.

Once you find the suggested literature, you still have to make sure the contents are what is needed for the research study. Even just an inspectional reading— table of contents, indices, glossary, etc.— takes hours. The worst part is when the material proves to be useless in the context it’s needed in, making all your work in vain.

Nevertheless, poverty is a good motivator. Though your days at the library often stretch into the night, the hefty pouch of mora you claim at the end of each project brings you great relief.

*****

With your jobs, you and Yvette find it easiest to do your grocery shopping late in the evening. Once a week, the two of you leave work early, meet at the apartment, and leave with a couple baskets each to buy the most basic of essentials.

Your first stop is always, without fail, the tavern. While you usually take turns cooking, it’s become a weekly ritual to dine out and relax before shopping. More often than not, this entails visiting the fortune teller to pet her cats.

Most of your groceries come from Hamawi’s stall, but you like to check out the Grand Bazaar every so often for some less-than-essential goods. On this particular evening, the atmosphere feels different… electrifying almost.

As you take in your surroundings, you realize that the shoppers and stall owners are murmuring and gravitating toward the stage. Forgetting the weight of the baskets on your arms, you pull Yvette with you into the crowd.

You get some looks, presumably because of your uniform, but it’s worth it. When you make it to the front, you hear the strum of a sitar and your eyes land on a lone dancer.

She bears a striking resemblance to Yvette. Her skin is pale, her hair is bright red, and her eyes are like aquamarines. The longer you stare at her form as she dances, the easier it is to imagine her as your companion.

Finally, her performance ends and you’re released from your trance. The crowd begins to disperse and you turn to leave with Yvette.

“Wait! You, with the red hair!”

The two of you turn to see the dancer pushing through the crowd. Your eyes meet, confirming your suspicion that she was referring to Yvette– there weren’t many people in the room with red hair. 

“I totally get if you don’t want to, but hear me out!” She takes a deep breath before continuing. “You and I look almost exactly alike. If you danced with me, I could choreograph new shows where you pose as my doppelganger! It doesn’t matter if you don’t have experience either, I can teach you!”

As you stare blankly at one another, she blurts, “It pays really well, too!”

From the look in her eye, you can tell just what Yvette is thinking: she’s interested. “How much would she earn?”

“Oh, I earn about 800,000 mora for every show,” the dancer responded.

Without sparing your roommate another glance, you give your answer.

“She’ll do it.”

*****

A lot has changed in the few weeks since you met Nilou. With Yvette being a fast learner, the theater was able to include her in their most recent show as a backup dancer. Her paycheck was less than Nilou’s– 500,000 mora– but that was to be expected. It would be hard to shine as bright as the star of the Zubayr Theater.

Aside from your elevated financial status, your time in Sumeru had changed your appearance almost beyond recognition. The pallor from Snezhnaya’s inhospitable winters was chased out by Sumeru’s sunny weather. Your hair was no longer bound and trapped in unyielding updos.

Best of all was your updated wardrobe. One afternoon, as you were having lunch with Nilou and Yvette, you spotted a blue skirt with brightly colored fish. She noticed you staring at the garment and convinced the vendor to lower the price so you could buy it and a pretty white blouse to go with it.

The difference in treatment was instantaneous. Passersby no longer whispered when they walked past you, merchants called out to you to buy their goods, waiters smiled at you when you entered restaurants.

It would almost feel good if you could forget.

*****

Eight months after the incident, you wait at Bayda Harbor, watching the ships pass by. Normally, you would go through research material while waiting for something, but today is different.

Any one of the dozens of ships in the harbor could be host to your most loyal companion, Apollo.

Before leaving the city, you did your best to make some snacks for Apollo. They didn’t have the same varieties of carrot that were available in Snezhnaya so you improvised and dipped some hay and mint leaves in boiling sugar water. Crystallized, it made the perfect rock candy for horses.

I hope he likes them, you think to yourself as you check to make sure the treats haven’t melted in the heat.

As the sun nears its peak, you think you hear your name being called. You look around until you see not just a familiar snout, but a familiar face as well.

“Pierre!” you call out with a grin. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, someone had to bring your horse, miss,” he replied fondly, with a tip of his hat. “Besides… It’s about time I went on vacation.”

The two of you chat for a while as you feed Apollo the snacks, which were much to his liking– he even nibbled at the tin when you ran out.

Once the two of you part ways, him to the desert and you to the city, you squeeze Apollo tightly.

“I missed you, Apollo,” you whisper, sniffling. “It’s been so hard without you. Without you both.”

He says nothing. He is a horse.

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tags: @lacunaanonymoused, @dollpoetwriting, @constantlyoverthinking, @littlesliceofcheese, @yourfavoritefreakyhan, @magicalink , @swivi a/n: if you saw the version of this where i mourned the loss of a tag list member no you didn't