#a masterpiece of a fan vid

[stagefoureddiediaz]

I don’t know if this user has a tumblr - but here is the link to their Twitter post with the most epic masterpiece of a video edit

Bathena buddie parallels perfection

[stagefoureddiediaz]

I have found the creator!!! Everyone watch this and the. go show @bucksdaylight some love for their amazing masterpiece of a video!

sorry idk who's the ultimate op as apparently that ig account had reposted it from somewhere. but genuinely. what are we all doing here

[ujuro]

Here she is…one of the best songs ever made… cold prescription ~ the phantom of hedonism…Teto win

[smuttysabina]

When Editing Goes Wrong

(Pokimane's Editor (You) x Pokimane, 3.3k Words) Tags: Excessive masturbation, gooning, sex surprisingly enough, anal sex, oral sex, foot sex, butt sex, obsessive behavior, a stunningly brave tale about the perils of editing for your masturbation material, absolutely degenerate behavior all around, also like damn dude you really couldn't resist telling her huh? Current events, breeding

You had done it, you had acquired your dream job, being the video editor for your favorite streamer; there was just one small problem, an afterthought really, an understatement. You were totally and utterly addicted to every inch of Pokimane's body. Her luscious hair, her gorgeous eyes, her perky lips, her smooth skin, her bodacious breasts, her toned arms, her delicate hands, her smooth stomach, her shapely hips, her puffy mound, her thick thighs, her tempting feet, so perfectly shaped and formed and begging to be licked- Oh dear, you did it again, another hour gone and several tissues filled. You were supposed to be taking Poki's raw, uncut footage and removing all the parts those filthy gooners would enjoy too much, obviously some slightly erotic shots would be left in to titillate them, but not enough to make her haters online accuse her of being a slutty tease. The issue was that there was simply too much delicious content to sort through, and you were unable to resist slamming your meat for hours on end to all of the content she was sending you. You would hump your hand for hours on end to your own private compilations of lewd moments, groaning Pokimane's name as you worshipped her in the only way you knew how. Of course, this made getting videos and vlogs out on time somewhat difficult, since editing actually public-friendly videos did in fact take some time, so things were getting to the point where you might have to start asking for extensions...

You sweat nervously as you hurriedly type out a message to Poki, explaining to her that you would be unable to get her video out this week, that you had hit some unexpected snags while cutting down her content. Nothing to be worried about of course, just a normal hazard of splicing together all of those disparate clips, you should have the vlog out in time by next week, for sure! Your typing is made a touch more difficult by the fact that you were doing so one-handed, even messaging your goddess got you all worked up. Her response of course, is as kindly and supportive as always, "No worries, these things do happen! I am looking forward to receiving the vlog by Wednesday of next week." Next Wednesday? You look at your calendar and groan in despair, it was going to be hard to fit editing time into your schedule with all the gooning you had been planning on doing... But you managed it, somehow. The thought of disappointing your goddess, as arousing as that was, had goaded you into putting the effort in, and you had made what you knew was a masterpiece. You smile proudly as you send the vlog to Poki, you were sure her fans would love it, and they did! "Good job on that last video Editor, that extra time sure helped, didn't it?" Your goddess praises you, so of course you have to hump your hand in celebration, you finish several times to that simple sentence.

The next few weeks pass by without much incident, with you throwing together videos in time for the deadline while still blasting rope to Pokimane constantly. Your videos had been doing extremely well judging by the viewer-count, your subtle blend of inside jokes and community memes with vaguely provocative shots had been largely popular with the fanbase. Of course, you kept the most delectable cuts to yourself, so while those degenerate coomers online were filling their pants to some risque stills, you were pumping furiously to the good stuff. The editing for the upcoming week's video was running into some blockages however, since for whatever sadistic reason Poki had chosen to include almost half an hour's worth of video pointed down at her bare feet as she wanders around her apartment chattering away. You had been unable to resist such potent stimulation, and had been beating your meat almost continuously to her feet. So lost in your lusts were you, that when Poki messages you, you feel inclined to answer honestly, "What's the hold up on next week's video? Its almost Sunday and I haven't gotten it yet?" Your orgasm-fried brain misfires as you try to conceive an excuse, but the thought of telling her the truth is simply too exciting to resist. So you tell Poki that you had been too busy blasting rope to her perfect feet, pumping and edging to her delicate toes and smooth soles so much that you were unable to fit in any editing. You climax when you hit send, obliterating several tissues as you end your hours-long session with a catastrophic orgasm; then of course you realize what you had done, and start panicking. Not that you should have worried though, as Poki swiftly responds, "Understandable, but please try to stop jacking off long enough to do your job." Suitably chastened, you comply; but not before squeezing another fap in.

Over the next month, you start to notice a subtle change in the content Pokimane sends you. Whereas before the more sensual shots would go by swiftly, now she seemed to... linger a bit on certain areas. Normal people would not have perceived this development, but as someone who had spent the past year consuming endless hours of her content, it was obvious. Poki would now spend on average an extra second giving you a view down her bodice, show off her meaty ass for just a little longer, playfully flex her toes before moving onto something else. Of course, you react to this novel situation by offering her with yet more of your seed, while still barely managing to get a video out on time every week. Editors truly have it rough!

Then it happened. In the middle of a vlog about household products, Poki was busy blathering about her automatic cat feeder when she suddenly pauses and stares at the camera. "I know you're watching, Editor. I just wanted to give you a special thank you for all of your hard work." Then she pulls up her shirt to reveal her breasts, wiggles them around, before yanking it back down again and continuing her spiel where she had left off. You gawp in absolute shock, sure that your mind had been playing tricks on you, that your fantasies had bled into real life, that this was actually just a surprisingly accurate wet dream. But no, as you rewind and replay the section, Pokimane had in fact flashed you, she had shown you her slightly tan breasts, each perky while still carrying some heft, graced with a dark-brown nipple upon a wide areola. Your response is entirely predictable, you pound your fleshlight for an entire day straight, not even stopping for food or rest as you honor your goddess's bountiful blessing. When you collapse, it is only from sheer exhaustion, your body and balls utterly drained by the sight of Pokimane's boobs. Upon awakening, you discover that a large amount of time had passed, and that you had a minimal amount of time to complete your deadline. Working like a man possessed, you furiously throw together a video, not even touching yourself once where before you would have savored every tantalizing moment. Through some holy miracle, you are able to send Poki the week's video on time, a feat that she seems suitably impressed by, "I thought you would have to be late again this week, good job Editor."

The next week's content is lacking in such stimulation however, simply a return to Pokimane's usual slight teasing, which still excites you, but leaves you yearning for more. Which was no doubt her intent, because in her next footage, she abruptly turns around, bends over, and pulls down her pants. The mere sight of Poki's monolithic ass in the nude has you painting the underside of your desk before you can fully process what you are seeing. Her fat cheeks wobble provocatively before she languidly reaches back and spreads them and reveals her glistening slit- By the time you have regained control of yourself, you are literally covered in cum, and far, far past your deadline. Panicking, you open your messages and hurriedly inform her that this week's vlog would be delayed due to a medical emergency you had to deal with; yes indeed your health had truly been threatened by what you had seen! Pokimane's response seems amused, "Don't lie to me Editor, you were too busy blasting rope to my ass, admit it." Moaning, you have no choice but to agree with her, informing your goddess that you had been unable to resist relentlessly pleasuring yourself to her; begging her for forgiveness, "It's fine, just be sure to have two videos done by the end of this week, or I'll have to find a new editor, got it?" The mere thought of being cut off by your queen has you in shambles, and you grovelingly assure Poki that her will would be done.

Through a herculean effort, you manage to complete your task, sending two videos of the highest quality to Poki, "Good job, I'm impressed! Next week I will not be posting though, so enjoy your time off." Most employees would celebrate having an entire week off, but being denied fresh content has left you morose; no matter, you still needed to enjoy her last gifts to the fullest. Then a notification pops up that you had received the usual weekly content file from Pokimane, and curious, you open it. Inside there is only one file, an hour long titled: 'For My Editor'. Thoroughly intrigued, and not a little excited, you start to watch it. The video starts with Poke modeling in a sleek black dress, nothing unusual there, as she poses and shows off her angles until she pauses and looks into the camera, "Hello Editor, after working so hard last week, I decided to help you get through this one." Whereupon she confidently pulls her dress over her head and tosses it aside, revealing her voluptuous body to you in all its glory. Pokimane leans forward, cupping her breasts with an arm while making slow stroking motions with her other hand, "Jack off for me, Editor. Pump, pump, pump," she growls huskily. Then she explores her body for you, fondling her weighty breasts, running her hands down her fertile tummy, teasingly rubbing her slit, turning around so that she can show you how heavy her ass is as she bounces it with her hands. All the while she encourages you to pleasure yourself to her, motioning with her hand for you to masturbate, "Edge for me Editor, I want you all worked up for the real show..." Poki opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue, rolling her eyes back in a perfect ahegao face for a full minute before ending with a devilish smirk. Her teasing grows ever more obscene as her own arousal heightens, "Imagine how wet my mouth would be wrapped around your cock, how soft my boobs would be, how tight my ass would be, how breedable my pussy is..." She moans ecstatically, her fingers squishing against her lower lips as she masturbates, as she angles the camera downwards towards the floor. Poki crouches in front of it, breathing heavily, her face flushed, "How would you take me, Editor?" She gets on her back, spreading her legs for you so that you can see just how sopping wet her pussy is, how it would be to pump between her meaty thighs, "Missionary?" Before rolling over and hoisting her thick ass in the air, pressing her chest against the ground to show you her sensual arch, "Doggy?" She gets up onto her knees and turns around, lustfully humping their air while groping herself and licking her lips, "Or would I need to put all the work in?" Poki leans forward, purring, "I want you to fuck me, Editor. I want every last drop of your cum, understood?" Wet slopping noises grew louder as her face became more and more red, as she nods encouragingly as the camera, "Do it, now. Cum for me, Editor. Cum in me!" Then Pokimane lets out a little gasp before moaning unashamedly, her eyes rolling back as she climaxes right in front of the lens, shuddering with pleasure until it is over. She sighs sensually, "Enjoy your week off..." before giving you a wink and ending the video. Needless to say, you did not get much done that week.

Or the next week for that matter, so busy were you blasting fat reams of jizz to your Goddess's instructions; so lost in an endless cycle of cumming for Pokimane that you only stopped when she messaged you again, "I guess you've been too busy stroking for me to get any work done, so here's a little incentive for you. Finish a video, and I'll give you an hour of my time, deal?" Of course, you had no choice but to obey, even with images of your queen's naked body prancing through your addled brain, you still managed to pump out a video in a reasonable amount of time; as well as an unreasonable amount of loads. A few hours after sending the video, you hear a knock on your apartment door, and more than a little annoyed at being interrupted while worshipping your goddess, you go to open it. Imagine your shock then when you find Pokimane on the other side of it, wearing a sleek outfit of deep red, dolled up to perfection. Pushing past your gawping form, she stalks inside, wrinkling her nose at the stench of semen she plops herself on your much-stained bed before licking her lips and giving you an expecting look, "Well? You have an hour, how would you like to fuck me?" You let out a piteous groan as you shamble forward, your cock already bulging and dripping, your mind unable to believe that your goddess is before you, but your body knows what to do. You dreamily turn her around and pull down her panties, humping Poki's fat ass as she amusingly informs you to go in raw, "After all, I am on birth control, and I doubt I have to worry about any STDs..." So you mount Pokimane like an animal for an entire hour, grunting like a beast while she passively waits for you to finish, you don't stop pumping for a single moment, nor do you ever stop filling her up with your cum until it leaks out of her cunt. Before you know it, her phone is buzzing loudly, and she commands you to stop, your hour is over. You notice she is limping slightly as she leaves, "Fuck I am so full..." she murmurs, before cheerfully saying, "I'm looking forward to your next video, Editor" and leaving.

The subsequent months pass by in a blur, you swiftly and skillfully produce a video for Pokimane, and soon after she arrives at your door, ready to be used. And god, do you use her. You lick and fuck her feet until they are squishy with your semen; you pump between her mighty thighs, breeding her continuously as she moans beneath you; you mount her fat tits more often that you can count, humping her chest until her breasts are smothered with cum; you make her suck you off, making her clean the fluids of your coupling off your cock so many times you know the contours of her mouth better than she does; you violate her anus with her cock, often without any lubrication, groaning as her tight coils milk your dry within minutes; you plow her from behind, again and again and again, unable to resist her thick ass you simply give in and fuck; you spend several hours simply jacking off onto her perfect face, until her hair is soaked and her face white; you make her ride you in every position imaginable, bouncing and swaying on your cock while her breasts flop around her chest, as she tirelessly drains you of load after load; you masturbate to porn together, until you are both staining the sheets afresh with your cum; you ask her to peg you, which she does with great enthusiasm while your cock sprays like a firehose; you dress her up in all sorts of cosplays, roleplaying a wide variety of scenarios that always seem to end up with you breeding her while howling her name; you fuck her while watching the video she sent you, so that you are pumping to Poki porn using Poki's perfect pussy, achieving a gooner's nirvana.

All the while you continue to churn out videos like a machine, all of which rack up an ever growing quantity of views and interactions; you are single-handedly (because the other hand is busy) driving up Pokimane's numbers on Youtube. You reach your zenith after editing while your goddess's head bobs between your legs, sucking you dry even as you complete your masterpiece. Eventually though, you begin to tire of it all, your videos begin to do progressively less well, and you feel a growing indifference towards Poki. You had flew to close too the gooner sun, your wings had been burned by the intensity of your fulfilled passions for her. No longer did her every message and word carry the power to compel you any more, no longer was she your Aphrodite, now she was simply a high priestess, the pedestal of goddess left unoccupied as your ardor cools. None of which goes unnoticed by Poki, so that one day she messages you, "I think we may need to go our separate ways Editor, let's discuss this at your place," and you agree. She patiently explains that the quality of your videos had declined recently, and that she was firing you, "Send me a copy of all the recordings you made of us together though," she smirks at your shock, "what, you thought I wouldn't notice? That much content will be useful for when I launch on Pornhub." You shudder at the thought of Pokimane gracing the porn scene with her presence, much seed would be spilt that day... "Also, I shot your reference to a friend of mine who needs a good editor, so expect to hear from her soon." You thank her profusely for this generosity, and she smirks in response, "Once more before the road then? I know how much you love fucking me..." So you spend the next hour pumping Pokimane full of your semen, and making her suck the resulting mess off of your dick; she even stays an extra few minutes to make sure it is extra clean. You hear her mutter as she leaves for the final time, "Well that one lasted a while..."

You spend the next week in a morose stupor, lost without a goddess to worship, unable to even achieve an erection. Even when Poki glibly announces on stream that she had to fire her pervert of an editor, you don't get hard even from this humiliation. Your depressed mood continues until a fresh notification pops up on your work account, piquing your interest; it reads, "Hello, I was looking for a new editor, and Imane recommended you to me! I need to have this video out by tomorrow, so please get it done ASAP! -AriaSaki" Curious now, you open up attached files, and feel a faint stirring in your crotch. Several hours later, and you send the video to her, your cock leaking from your constant edging, eager for her response. You don't have long to wait, as a short video arrives soon after, you open to see the goddess talking excitedly to you, while wearing little more than short-shorts and a blue pushup bra, "OH MY GAWD, thank you so much Editor! This looks so freaking good, let's discuss terms tomorrow okay? Thank you thank you thank you!" Before ending it with a beaming smile. You are smiling as well, as semen drips down from the underside of your desk, anything for your goddess AriaSaki...

And so the Editor finds a new job, and the cycle continues...

[goldfades]

★ YOU AND ME, WE'D BE A BIG CONVERSATION─── PB⁵ (part 1/3)

❪ requested -> "paige x famous!reader (singer, actress, up to u) inspired by endgame by ts where p reveals that r is her celeb crush in an interview and a few days later theres a vid of r responding to it saying shes been obsessed w paige lately / its such a big deal bc r has been involved in a lot of romantic drama lately so everyone is kinda iffy abt her rn, causing her to put up a tough guard. but p sees thru the facade when they start talking and allows her to be herself, making r fall even harder 🥹 " ❫ for my disco nonnie!

─ warnings | gossip, a lot of drama and random ass names (sorry i get confused when i don't name them), mention of panic attacks, hurt to comfort, pretty sure nothing else?

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!

"Y/N L/N, ONE OF the biggest names right now in the music industry has found herself at the center of yet another romantic scandal involving her ex and now, reportedly a new lover."

The 22-year-old pop sensation, who recently topped the charts with her latest single, was spotted last night leaving an upscale Los Angeles restaurant with actress and heartthrob, Camilla Harrison. The two were seen getting into the same car, sparking rumors of a budding romance.

This sighting comes just weeks after Y/N's highly publicized breakup with fellow musician Lauren Marie, with whom she had a tumultuous on-again, off-again relationship for over two years. The split was reportedly mutual, with both parties citing busy schedules and the pressures of their careers as contributing factors. However, sources close to the couple suggest that Marie was unhappy about Y/N's close friendship with Harrison, which began on the set of her recent music video where Marie made a cameo appearance.

"Y/N and Cam have undeniable chemistry," says an insider. "They've been spending a lot of time together, and it's more than just a professional connection. They're trying to keep things low-key, but it's clear there's something more than friendship between them."

Despite the drama, Y/N continues to thrive professionally. Her upcoming album set to release in the next couple month, is already generating significant buzz. Critics are calling it her most mature work yet, with deeply personal lyrics that reflect her recent experiences.

Meanwhile, Harrison, 26, known for her roles in blockbuster films and her good looks, has remained tight-lipped about the rumors. Her publicist declined to comment, stating that Marie is concentrating on her upcoming film projects.

──

"Okay, next question," the reporter smiled as she scrolled through her phone as Paige gave a tight-lipped smile toward the camera. "Oh! Found a good one, okay. Who is your celebrity crush right now."

"That's easy!" Paige laughed as she glanced toward the reporter. "Y/N L/N, she's beautiful and insanely talented,"

The room filled with laughter as the reporter raised an eyebrow, clearly delighted by the response. "Y/N L/N, huh? That's a popular choice these days, a lot of people are big fans. Have you met her?"

Paige shook her head, her cheeks slightly flushing. "Nah, I wish. But I'm a huge fan of her music. Every song is a masterpiece and I'm not usually into pop,"

"Interesting," the reporter leaned forward, intrigued. "You know, there are rumors about Y/N's love life all the time. How do you feel about all the speculation surrounding her personal life?"

Paige shrugged, maintaining her relaxed demeanor despite the stupid question. "I think it's tough being in the spotlight like that. People forget that celebrities are human too. Everyone deserves a bit of privacy, I'm more interested in her work and what she brings to the music industry rather than whoever she's dating."

The reporter nodded, appreciating Paige's perspective. "Absolutely. It's refreshing to hear someone focus on the artistry rather than the gossip!"

──

"Okay, quick. Who's your celeb crush right now, other than Cam," Bowen Yang, grinned at you, raising an eyebrow as the audience laughed, eagerly awaiting your response.

You laugh (and decide to ignore the comment about Cam), feeling a slight blush creep up your cheeks. "Oh, come on, Bowen, you can't put me on the spot like that!"

Bowen leaned in, his grin widening. "Come on, Y/N, the people want to know!" He pointed to the crowd as they cheered, causing you to put your face in yours hands.

You then take a deep breath, pretending to think hard. "Fine, if I have to choose... I'd say Paige Bueckers. She's incredible on the court, and I've seen some interviews with her ─ she seems like such a cool person."

The audience erupts with loud cheers, causing both you and Bowen to laugh. Bowen's eyes widen, clearly delighted by your answer as he clapped. "Ooh, scandalous! Paige Bueckers, I love that! Have you met her?"

You shake your head, smiling. "No, not yet. But I did see a clip of her saying some really nice things about me recently. It was super sweet."

Bowen's face lights up with excitement. "She was practically gushing over you, this is perfect, we need to make this happen. Maybe you could collab, I don't know how but uh, if anyone could make it happen, it's you."

"Thank you, I think?" You laugh, nodding. "Totally, we'll see what happens."

Bowen turns to the camera, his enthusiasm infectious. "You heard it here first, folks! Y/N and Paige Bueckers, the crossover we never knew we needed but now desperately want!"

The audience erupts in applause and cheers, and you can't help but smile at the idea. Bowen turns back to you, his tone shifting slightly more serious. "Alright, before we wrap up, I have to ask ─ how do you deal with all the attention and rumors about your personal life? It seems like you're constantly in the spotlight."

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, caught off guard by the serious question. "It's um, definitely challenging at times, but I try to focus on the positive aspects. I love making music and my fans. As for the rumors, I just remind myself that I can't control what people say or think. I stay true to myself and the people who really know me, and that's what matters most."

Bowen nods appreciatively. "Wise words, Y/N. And that's why we love you so. Thank you so much for being here tonight."

"Thank you for having me," you reply, genuinely touched by the support.

"And that's Y/N L/N!"

The crowd erupts in cheers as you genuinely smile, happy for the support, waving toward the audience.

──

"Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast I'm Lila, and today we've got a lot to talk about. Y/N L/N is at the center of yet another romantic scandal, and there's even a new twist involving basketball star Paige Bueckers. Let's dive in!" Lila said, her enthusiasm palpable.

"Yaya, so excited," Maya chimed in, adjusting her headphones. "So, Y/N was spotted last night leaving an upscale LA restaurant with actress Cam Harrison. They got into the same car, which has everyone buzzing about a possible new romance."

"Yeah, and this is just weeks after her very public breakup with Lauren, I think that's her name? It's been a whirlwind, to say the least. But honestly, I think Y/N is handling it all pretty well. She's focused on her music, and she's just living her life. What's your take, My?" Lila asked, leaning in slightly.

Maya sighed, her skepticism evident. "I don't know, Lila. I get that she's young and living her life or whatever, but it feels like there's always some new drama with her. First Lauren, now Cam Harrison? It's starting to look like a pattern."

"But that's thing, with being in your early twenties. Figuring out what you want, who you want to be with? I mean, she's also incredibly talented and driven. Her new album is generating a ton of buzz and it hasn't even been released yet," Lila countered, her voice full of admiration.

"Sure, but it seems like she's always entangled in some romantic drama. Maybe it's just the nature of fame or whatever, but it can also come off as messy. And now, with Paige Bueckers gushing about her in that interview, it adds another layer. I just hope she’s not stringing people along," Maya replied, her tone annoyed.

Lila nodded, annoyed at Maya's words but maintaining her supportive stance. "I get where you're coming from, but did you see Paige's reaction? She was genuinely excited about Y/N. It was sweet. Plus, Y/N responded so positively on the SNL interview. I think it shows she's got a good heart and she's just navigating her way through a complicated life!"

Maya hesitated for a moment as she glanced at the camera, then continued. "I mean, look at Taylor Swift. She's known for her string of high-profile relationships and breakups, and it hasn't always been received positively. It feels like Y/N is heading down a similar path- What?"

"Come on, Maya!" Lila glared at her, clearly displeased. "Comparing Y/N to Taylor Swift isn't fair. Taylor's faced a lot of unfair criticism for just living her life and expressing herself through her music. Y/N is her own person, with her own journey. She's navigating her twenties in the spotlight, and that's not easy."

Maya just shrugged as she glanced toward the camera, before adjusting her mic. "Well that got awkward, moving on..."

──── COMMENTS

sela 🐾 | is she wrong though... love her music but why'd paige gotta get involved too? ♡ 108

↳ l/nslover | cause they like each other???

↳ 🦕 | has bro ever heard of a pr relationship 😭

↳ ari! | THEYRE NOT EVEN TOGETHER YET BROOO😭😭😭

sarah™️ | LILA GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE BROOOO 😭😭 i never liked maya tbh this is just a weird ass take ♡ 1.7k

kayla 🎀 | listen as a y/n girly i also understand maya's point of view cause.... shes kinda for the streets ♡ 879

↳ ™️ | dont call yourself a """"" y/n girly """""" if ur gonna say she's for the streets??? the fuck??

���️ | i was understanding maya's pov up until she started saying all that taylor swift bullshit, they're two separate artists LET US LIVEEEEEEE ♡ 2k

josie may | hardest watch of the day 🥲 maya u let us down with that dumb ass take

──

"I just kinda... wanna disappear for awhile," you confessed, your voice quiet as you pressed the phone to your ear. "Don't know why this keeps happening, you're the only that can... help me through it. Sorry if I woke you up-"

It happened again ─ over the last couple of months (ever since you'd broken up with Lauren) you'd gotten pretty severe panic attacks. You were told by everyone on your team to just stay off social media and what had you done... exactly the opposite of that.

"No, no, I was awake anyway, promise," Paige's voice echoed through the phone. You heard shuffling through the phone as you sniffled, sighing. "And I don't mind, like at all. I meant what I said, I'm always here for you,"

Your heart swelled as you managed a smile, as tears began to build in your eyes. You and Paige had only been talking a month and she already understood you more than anyone had in what felt like forever. Her steady presence was like an anchor in the storm of your life.

The constant media scrutiny and the aftermath of your breakup with Lauren had left you feeling alone, but Paige’s calming influence was slowly becoming your safe haven.

"I just... I don't know how to deal with all of it. The rumors, the pressure, it's all so overwhelming," you admitted, wiping away the tears that had started to fall. "Half of it, it isn't even true."

"Hey, it's okay, I know, I believe you," Paige's voice was soothing, almost like a warm embrace over the phone. Even the smallest affirmation from Paige made you feel all okay again, even if it was just for the moment.

"You're not alone in this. We can figure it out together, step by step."

That part made your lips twitch up in a smile, feeling yourself relax again. You took a deep breath, feeling a bit of the tension ease from your shoulders. "I just feel like I can't breathe sometimes. Like the walls are closing in, y'know?"

"I get it," Paige replied softly. She'd know about it all too well, she'd been through it herself plenty of times. "Sometimes it helps to focus on the small things. One step at a time, remember? Have you tried any of those breathing exercises I taught you?"

You nodded, even though she couldn't see you. "Yeah, a little. They help, but it’s hard to remember in the moment."

"Next time you feel a panic attack coming on, call me. Anytime, okay? We'll get through it together," Paige's voice was firm, reassuring. "You don't deserve the shit they give you, like at all."

"Thank you," you whispered, feeling a surge of gratitude. "I don't know what I'd do without you, P."

"You don't have to thank me. I care about you, and I wanna help. Plus, I like hearing your voice," Paige added with a light chuckle, trying to lift your spirits.

You couldn't help but smile at that. "Me too, especially your cute tired voice."

"Cute, really?" Paige laughed through the phone and you swore you felt like your whole world felt even again. "But uh, if you do really wanna disappear you can always come to Connecticut."

The thought of escaping the relentless spotlight, even for a little while, sounded like a dream. "Really?"

"Yeah, you can stay with me for a bit, if that's uh... what you want." Paige explained through the phone. "My friends are super chill and it's always a fun time, if you ever wanna come. Think about it?"

The idea of spending time with the basketball player you'd quickly become enthralled with, seemed almost like a dream. And getting away from LA and all the madness that came with it sounded heavenly, you were going to give Connecticut a thought.

You sighed, feeling a warmth spread through you that had been absent for far too long. "Yeah, I will. And Paige?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. Really."

"Anytime, Y/N. Sweet dreams."

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[blue-disco-lights]

✨ weekly tag wednesday ✨

I love this week's theme since i get to talk about this fandom and all of you 💕 thank you @jrooc @lingy910y @creepkinginc @energievie @doshiart

@suzy-queued @mybrainismelted @deedala for the tag! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

how did you get into the fandom? I learned about gallavich in a subreddit, where i hung out for a while until it started to get real toxic (too much mickey and debbie critique in there for me!). from there, i wandered to twitter, met some lovely people and that led me here to tumblr!

how long have you been here? since December 2021

what's the first fandom channel you found? (youtube, reddit, tumblr, insta, twitter, FB, other?) well as i have massive fomo, i’ll see you on most of them. but reddit was first.   

what's your favourite now? tumblr and discord

which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom? i think it’s @silvanshadow and @samantitheos from twitter! I was verrry shy to interact at all but you were both friendly and fun to talk to :)

which tumblerinos did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know? the two above, but also @palepinkgoat @notherenewjersey @ms-moonlight-inn @gallawitchxx (blush but also HI 🩵)

first gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)? 

Conflict of Interest by @vitalspark (is incredible) and was the first story i  left a comment on back in December ‘21 and that just started it all. 

That and You Deserve Good Things by @chat-noir12 and Like Real People Do by @gallavichy were the first I bookmarked - i remember reading those stories and just sitting in shock about how GOOOD these stories were. It was just unbelievable to me at the time. Thinking how did I go through covid times without them and generally, my whole adult life without fan fic??

first fan art that blew your mind? This is such a tough one there are SO many - but probably something by @steorie (here) @filorux (here) @psychicskulldamage (here)  

And here's a favorite from @doodlevich (here)

fanfic trope that you were sure wasn't for you but now you low key (or high key) love? never thought much about fake dating tropes, but there some great stories with that one what surprised you most about this fandom? this fandom IS SO kind, friendly and open. And the TALENT. I still can’t really believe what you all create - here’s a masterpiece I made at home on a Tuesday night, a free gift, please enjoy. you're all amazing 🤩

moment in the show (or YT vids if you're one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with gallavich? “Don’t” - definitely. my showtime app has never had that much rewind and playback action. 

ian or mickey? oh but that’s a hard one. gotta be Mickey - i dont remember ever connecting with a TV character like this. the sass, the one-liners, the development, the facial expressions.  I could go on, but you all know. 

which gallagher or milkovich are you? maybe Sandy? I admire her for being a cool cucumber who just happens to land in the messiest, most chaotic family and seems to really enjoy having a front row seat!

tagging everyone up ⬆️ there if you'd like and would love to hear all of your stories friends: @sweetbee78 @ian-galagher @transmurderbug @spookygingerr

@solitarycreaturesthey @sgtmickeyslaughter @mmmichyyy @too-schoolforcool

@transsexual-dandelions @sleepyfacetoughguy @rereadanon @heymrspatel @michellemisfit

@darlingian @thepupperino @vintagelacerosette @mickeysgaymom @krysmiss

@callivich @sickness-health-all-that-shit @gillyp @bawlbrayker @crossmydna

@jessieoneday @em-harlsnow @reganmian @heymacy @gallavichsuperfan

@depressedstressedlemonzest @gallapiech @spacerockwriting @wehangout @burninface

[spoofy-drawings]

IM AT SUCH A CROSSROADS-

Thomas is such a talented individual, to the point he can just sound slightly different and we as fans can recognize that he’s acting as different characters.

I KNOW he’s talented enough to pull off badass works of art, especially when it comes to Sanders Sides.

Now all of a sudden, after making MASTERPIECES like the Into The Unknown cover, and SVS (part 1 and 2) AND WTIT, he can’t make a decent Sides vid?

I love the new vid, don’t get me wrong. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I will love Thomas’ work regardless of what it is.

However, the HUGE downgrade NEEDS to be talked about.

So let’s discuss my thoughts on the uproar of anger at this new episode.

First and foremost, the makeup. It TANKED. Just look at this- How did Janus and Virgil go from this -

TO THIS???

Like, Thomas what happened. I can 100% understand that Janus’ scales are far from easy to do, so his is more understandable, especially bc he has a new makeup artist. It just looks like it’s the artists first attempt?? If that makes sense??

On the other hand, I have NO experience in makeup, absolutely zero. Yet, I still think I could manage to do Virgil’s makeup- it’s one step.

The writing was so off this whole episode too. Roman was almost unrecognizable until the other sides appeared- like why was he so out of character-

Janus’ whole character was so complex, and I loved it, and then this asides episode came out and he’s suddenly just a sassy wine aunt. What did they do to my boy?

THE BIGGEST THING THAT TRIPPED ME UP THO.

Why does this episode exist?

We already talked about how anxiety will look different to other people. YEARS AGO actually. VIRGIL WAS THE FIRST TO SAY THAT. And yet we are here. Why?

GRGRGGRGR IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY- I JUST WANT SANDERS SIDES CONTENT, BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE QUALITY DROPPING. I will gladly wait these nearly four years for an episode, but if the quality looks like THIS, I don’t want it. I don’t want the season finale that badly. Quality over quantity, Thomas.

[sparks-polls]

Tumblr's Favourite Sparks Music Video - The Finale

We have our finalists! Congratulations, When Do I Get To Sing "My Way" and I Predict!

When Do I Get To Sing "My Way"

Defeated opponents: Edith Piaf (Said It Better Than Me), (When I Kiss You) I Hear Charlie Parker Playing, Music That You Can Dance To, Funny Face, Call Girl

What people have said about this video: #my way hands down #for the whole story #also have you seen russell in that one? #i picked my way specifically because of russell in that video #it's gotta be my way. the drama and the story and the atmosphere is just so good #they're so classy in it - A+ looks and concept. and I love the whole idea of advertising a movie #I need my brothers torn apart by ambition #when do i get to sing my way (the video) inspired me to write a whole-ass novel #i'm happy as long as my way goes through #i voted my way. against this kind of opponent hardly anything stands a chance #my way takes it all #this isn't even a competition #another masterpiece of a video #the story & storytelling & all 3 of them looking amazing in black and white with that lighting #Ron glaring jealously from behind the curtains!!! #THERE'S ONLY ONE SONG I KNOW (iconic!) + RON DANCE (in colour for he gets to sing his way hell yeah) #Russell's smiles #old hollywood drama & the way the texts are displayed (excellent concept) #russell's model turn in my way for president #DO TWO BROTHERS TORN APART BY AMBITION MEAN NOTHING TO YOU? #the gorgeous old hollywood film that is my way is so important and special to me #it's got to be My Way for me - out of the videos left that is my champion <3 #i think my way deserves to win this contest overall #when do i get to sing my way is just so...

I Predict

Defeated opponents: Beat The Clock, When I'm With You, Johnny Delusional, No. 1 Song In Heaven [Plagiarism Version], All You Ever Think About Is Sex

What people have said about this video: #i predict should win this whole thing #i predict every time. #i made my french class watch the i predict music vid in college. i dont remember why. #but that's how much I loved it #only one answer that i can give #I Predict is just so PERFECT #ron in drag wins #nothing gets better than ron in drag #i predict that i predict will make it very far into the competition #nothing beats i predict i'm afraid #voted i predict because how could I not #i will always root for Heidi #this took zero thought #i predict duh #ron mael striptease should win it all #ron striptease para siempre #if my baby's taking me home can't win (sobs) then I Predict will be an honourable tribute #i predict deserves the win #I Predict is just so much more entertaining to me #and this is coming from someone who doesn't have a huge thing for Heidi unlike most Ron fans lol #i just love how committed he is to the striptease and Russell shining like a star in the audience and the fact that #the whole thing takes place inside an amplifier (a speaker?) #also it feels very Twin Peaks

[slycopersicum-in-disguise]

Every 911 fan vid maker from now on, when trying to decide if their masterpiece is finished or not:

"Hmm... this is good. But is it 'makes Oliver cry in the shower' good?"

[senseisy]

Here it is after a long time, the awaited stuff with Yuko and Sado ! This is the fuckin vid of the century guys, yeah ! The most precious one indeed. There's a lot to say about it but that love story between Yuko and Sado can't never be replaced neither compared with the other girls. It was extremely important to give a recognition about these two. We're talking about the Majijo Leader and the Vice Rappappa President here, no mistakes allowed with Yuko and Sado, we keep it straight always we just deliver perfectly. Masterpiece.

Nothing is quite normal when I work on Yuko usually and it reminded me kinda the same feeling that emanates softly, sweetly from this stuff on another MG vid years ago. Rare feeling, great vibe. There was no way to put the parts, difficult ones you guys expected surely from me in there, no haha ;) . It was obviously not the aim of that vid anyway, unlike Center and Nezumi's ones. And I'm gonna tell you I still don't like those parts ! But maybe one day I'll include them so.

The focus here, you can feel how it's vibrating about Sado, because she's the one who really suffered with her strong feelings for Yuko. Girl's gonna commit suicide at that rate. All the pain, memories, once again we never say it enough but Mariko really did a great job. Big shoutout for her. Not a tricky stuff actually it was smooth, just working on putting Yuko a little aside for not stealing Sado's spotlight in there. A single mistake and it ruins everything. I'm satisfied.

It's been a long time I was looking for a song that could fit on the fic I wrote about Yuko and Sado, Eternal Love, well that one is perfect for me. It's rare to feel something like that... I poured my heart for these two. Exceptional stuff for exceptional problems with the sound on the export ! Til the end yeah, I've seen everything. A vid without sound it's a little pity but why not, I'm gonna start the new trend what you think ;) ?

Well, love for the fans of Yuko and Sado, this is for you I hope you enjoy it. While dropping it I'm just having sex too, so you see guys I do everything at the same time ;) . Let's get back to fucking otherwise my partner is gonna be mad. I have energy to spend til the sunrise.... aahhh...! Anyway, enjoy there YouTube : >>> Generation Gangstas Senseisy 1991 <<< Thank you for watching guys. Love !

[gracieblood]

fav tmf fan vid ever?

this masterpiece which i’ve already sent to some people but hey now u can watch it too anon

[mxry-kat]

my full thoughts on the new versions of the original 1989tv songs for anyone who cares:

wtny: mostly similar, no complaints i like the updated sound

blank space: so much more CRISP omg and the seagulls fighting in the lyric vid lmao

style: the guitar riff is DIFFERENT but style is always a slay

ootw: jack and taylor know wtf they're doing, always have and this song has always been such a masterpiece in production. amazing

ayhtdws: if there are no ayhtdws fans, that means i have died. anyway again it's more crisp and i literally had to get up and dance along, i couldn't sit still it's PERFECT

shake it off: super good, 10/10 would play it at my wedding to get people out of their seats, love the "bah bah bah baaaah"s at the end as always

iwyw: love how clear her voice is, no complaints but what's that background sound at the end? was that there before?

bad blood: takes me back to 2014 immediately, sad there's no version with a kendrick feature (edit--it's back!! love that there's a deluxe). the music/production never gets talked about enough, it's super good i'm hoping tv fixes this

wildest dreams: obviously we've already heard it but omg her voice is so good i love taylor i loved this song in the original era and loved getting it again in 2021 when i was first becoming a proper swiftie

hygtg: loving the overall clarity and snappiness with the snare. the background vocals are more noticeable in the chorus, i love that. and the squeak in the second verse!! oh my god??

this love: will never get over the little lyric change (in a good way). this will probably never be among my top ts songs, but much respect for its lovers

i know places: love it, super true to the original but elevated, which is what i hoped for

clean: this SONG. everyone loves it for a reason. quite different from the original (backup vocals mostly, but some other stuff too), but i like it as its own entity. i'll miss the original but i will learn to love this one lol

wonderland: love love love the clearer/more mature vocals and love that the little squeaks (is there a term for these?) are still there, they give the song such character. 10/10

yail: super good, loving the clearer music, i've never really listened for it beneath the vocals (other than the main bits) in the original, so i like that it's amplified. the end of bridge/start of the last chorus "YOOOOU are in love!" is a little lackluster though :/

new romantics: pop perfection. what more can i say? there's a reason this song is so heavily associated with this album/era as a whole. the vocals are a little quiet for my liking in the chorus (at least on yt and w/ my headphones, idk) but still 10/10

overall obviously i'm not used to it yet and it will take time to get used to it instead of the original because i've listened to this album so much (esp compared to fearless tv and red tv and their originals, since i was just becoming a swiftie in 2021) but it's REALLY good, excited to keep listening on repeat. thank you taylor x

[suckbabe]

Honestly good shit for mixing it up 🤝 if you want another country album to enjoy Starting Over by Chris Stapleton might be a masterpiece 🫡

Maaaam fuck all that, this is your blog and if they don’t like your cool concert vids, they can go fly a kite with no wind 😤 LMAO but awe what the heck he posted you?! 🥹 actually sick af

Yeaasssss I was fan girling hard that night and nice I will check that out and k I’ll post oneeeeeee from that nihht

[wobblyprinny]

Happy Holidays....

Well, my anger and disgust at ppl has simmered back down to tolerable levels that no longer stop me from being unable to write and work on other creative projects, and I'm about done with the design doc on mini prologue/practice project #2 and a few stories I post, mostly fan fics to just... weeb out I guess, along with getting practice in things like dialogue writing in a shorter, less straight up book, style.

But, yeah, how was everyone's Turkey Day?

I don't really have family to enjoy it with and honestly, my heart really wasn't in it to try and deal with the whole 'dinner with other ppl' bit, but... I still felt it worth making a holiday appropriate dinner and try to think of things I was thankful for....

Short list honestly, much shorter than I'd like but, oh well. Such is the hand I've been dealt and all that.

More to the point, I hope everyone else's holidays went well, or at the very least, weren't total disasters...

Anyway...

One game I've been playing, partly for research, partly bc I like it, has been very good in seeing just what I can aspire to. I don't think I've seen so much variable checking that goes to show how damn near every choice you make for 2 chapters leads to one hell of a great payoff at the start of Ch. 3 using an RPGM engine 3 generations older than mine! It's testament to the skill in the craft. And, while I do have some gripes about what I'd prefer in terms of storytelling and game experience, it's a very well written and sophisticated piece of interactive fiction. It really is teaching me a lot just by playing it with the sorts of things I want to create and how I could go about doing it, with the help of tutorials.

Come to think of it, I've come to really, REALLY like games that explore their geopolitics and whose harem relationships are about making each other happy and like a family, even if it takes a lot of work ot make it work, heheh.

Plus, dungeon crawling.

Also been watching a lot of medieval to 18th historical vids to brush up on things like cooking, culture, history and all that too... Not saying my world is gonna be a masterpiece so much as I just wanna be thorough.

Well, that's all for now.

[scrumpledorph-writes]

Koben’s Biggest Fan (A Seventeen Year Old Nerd)

I

Packed up just about everything I own, rather not take the chance on any looters or squatters finding it. Huxley gave me a strongbox and key for the valuables – I can’t imagine anything other than the credits would be at risk, but the security is appreciated. Guess all that’s left to do is go meet his son.

Figure if he knows me from security footage he’ll mostly recognize the armor. Fine by me, changing out of it would be a hassle. His room’s at the very back of the manor, I suppose he likes his privacy. Even if he’s young he’s still a criminal, should make sure to announce my presence – not catch a reflexive pistol bolt. ‘Jaxon, can I come in?’ ‘Yeah, sure, whatever.’

Covered windows, poor ventilation, dim lighting; a far cry from how his father styles his space. Now how do I introduce myself? I doubt my name’s been pinned down on any of those holovids he’s watched, and I’ve never had a fan before. Maybe he can take the lead once he recognizes me. ‘Your father told me you liked my work, could you turn around so we can speak properly?’

‘Yeah sure, whate- no way, are you serious?! You’re not just one of his goons in a costume he had whipped up, are you?!’ ‘I don’t have any way to prove that.’ ‘Oh shit you are, that’s just what you’d say! I’m Jaxon, but you already knew that I guess. I’d seen footage of you slaughtering that gang over in Dunton, by the way that was some of your best work – the way you crashed through that wall and towered over him at the end was an absolute masterpiece – but I never thought I’d actually get to meet you! Unless you were hired to kill me, of course.’ This feels wrong, somehow.

I’m no stranger to violence, but I don’t do it for fun. He sounds like a voyeur. ‘He hired me to-’ ‘Oh oh oh, can I touch your plating?! How is it always in perfect condition after every vid, do you have a dedicated mechanic? Can I meet them too?’ Seems like I should let him get this out of his system before I put him through boot camp. I can take an arm plate off.

‘There’s a layer of thermal weave under each plate, it absorbs most of the heat from blaster bolts. I check it after every mission and replace any spent fabric as needed. I also have a protective paint I reapply to the plates whenever it wears thin that prevents corrosion, rust, and other everyday weathering. Sometimes I need to take them to a specialist to remove dents, and I needed a new breastplate machined once, but they’re very durable when taken proper care of.’ It is nice to talk to someone else about this stuff, equipment maintenance is the most important part of the job.

‘No way that’s so cool, you can just swap the plates out whenever they get worn down. I thought they were just one big welded chassis, but I guess whoever built you must have wanted you to last forever! Where are your circuits though, is this fabric some sort of camouflage for your neural harness?’ What the hell is he talking about?

‘I’m not a droid, I’m a human.’ ‘What?! No fucking way, you’re kidding, can you just hold on a sec while I get my holovid recorder and say that again? That debate’s been raging for years on the forum.’ ‘There’s a forum for talking about me?’ This is getting weird.

‘Not just you specifically, it’s for fans of all kinds of bounty hunting footage! The section for outlaw bounty killers is a lot smaller, so topics get pretty insular and retreaded fairly often. Obviously I’ve always argued that you were a droid, because I mean, come on, the way you carry yourself is so exacting and precise, and you’re so big and strong, that you couldn’t blame me, right? Umm, you’re not mad at me, are you?’ ‘This sounds inconsequential, so no.’ Hopefully putting him through some real combat training will make this hobby less appealing.

‘Oh, phew, glad to hear it. I’ve kind of spent a lot of time theory crafting about your origins, do you want to hear?’ This feels like it could go on all day. ‘Maybe later. Your father hired me to train you. If you take well to it, we can talk more about this at the end of the day.’ Not used to reward based motivation, but Imperial punishments probably won’t go over well here.

‘Oh, in that case, yes sir!’ ‘I’m a woman.’ ‘You are? But I thought...wow. Okay, yes ma’am! I’ve never done anything like this, what should we do first?’ He looks so emaciated his arms wouldn’t even need leverage to snap, and I’ve never seen a chair with such well worn grooves. ‘Physical conditioning – we’ll get a feel for your limits, then start pushing them. I’ve been told this place has a gym, meet me there. Change into something more breathable, I’m going to do the same.’

It’s been years since I’ve had to exercise with anybody else, and these clothes I bought don’t leave as much surface area uncovered as I’d like – but it would be irresponsible to meet him in my underwear. He’s already obsessed with me, and Seline said that I have an attractive body. If anybody can be considered an authority on the subject it would be a prostitute. With how little exercise he gets, he might have a heart attack. I can double layer my casual shirt and roll the pant legs up as far as they can go, that should suffice.

II

‘W-wow, hey there ma’am. Could I get your name, by the way? It would be huge if you told me what it was, that’s another thing that people debate on the forums.’ He’s having a hard time looking me in the eye, his are darting all over the room. My first name shouldn’t hurt, a gesture of trust for a future partnership. ‘Koben.’ ‘Aww, seriously? Uhh, sorry, that’s a nice name, it’s just that that’s one of the going theories I didn’t believe.’ I’m actually starting to get curious about all this, how deep do these discussions go?

‘What was your theory? Tell me while we warm up with some stretches, copy my movements.’ Basic aerobics so he doesn’t end up in a bacta tank doing the harder exercises. ‘Oh, you actually want to know? It’s kinda stupid, don’t worry about it.’ ‘Let me rephrase: as your instructor, I order you to tell me. And straighten your knees.’

‘Yes ma’am – Koben! Well, you don’t exactly talk while you’re on the job, I get it, you don’t want to give anybody clues. Not like the glory chasing bounty hunters who only take big flashy jobs so they can get a toy deal.’ Who’d want toys of a bounty hunter? If you’re going to be enthralled by violence, at least do it yourself. ‘I killed one of those yesterday. Stay focused, and switch legs.’

He seems distracted, far in excess of just his storytelling. ‘Anyway, most of the time when other people in your videos refer to you, they call you “trooper”. Working off my droid theory at the time, I figured that must have been short for a designation – Tr00p3r. In hindsight it was a bit of a shitty theory, I never could find a droid designation that matched that name, but the guy who kept saying it was just such an asshole about it that admitting he was right would have driven me up the wall.’ This forum is starting to sound like it has too much information on me.

‘How many people use this forum?’ ‘Well the main forum has thousands of posters, but if you mean how many people talk about you, it’s maybe a couple dozen at the most. I keep the place curated, anybody who shit talks you catches a lifetime ban.’ That’s a low enough number to track down, but also a low enough number to be unlikely to accomplish anything with that information. I won’t worry about it, if he’s their most powerful member then they’re harmless.

‘Noted, thank you. Let’s continue in silence for now.’ He’s having a hard time doing basic stretches, even the academy conscripts were better off than this. It would help if he could watch my demonstration longer than five seconds. I’ll bring it up after the set as something to work on tomorrow.

This is kind of nice. He really seems to appreciate my work. It felt uncomfortable at first knowing that there were eyes on me, but the only part anybody else ever appreciated about it was the results. Knowing there are people who can recognize all the training that went into being able to do it almost makes me feel like I owe it to them to keep going. Then again, with this payout I likely won’t need to work for a while. Losing a few fans is worth taking some time to relax.

‘Koben, can we please take a break? My arms feel like they’re on fire.’ He’d have gotten the rod for that in the academy, but I need to temper my expectations. There were plenty of washouts, but I don’t get paid if he quits. ‘Fine. You barely managing that gives me a good grasp on your physical abilities anyway. That was the more important part.’ Let’s go grab a drink.

This water is good. Is it fresh? Most of what I’ve bought on this planet has been reprocessed, has a chemical taste to it, but this tastes pure. He doesn’t seem to appreciate it. ‘There’s no use drinking that much at a time, your body won’t process it. You’ll just end up wasting it.’ ‘It’s water, we can drink as much of it as we need.’ Definitely spoiled by a life of luxury. ‘On desert planets like this, my squad used to get attacked for our water rations. Appreciate it.’ ‘Yes Koben.’ I should find out what his problem was during the workout.

‘You seemed to be having a hard time watching my demonstration.’ ‘Oh, uhh, yeah, sorry, I’m just not used to keeping eye contact with folks is all, I spend so much time online.’ Deflection. A nervous tone. It’s better to get rid of any obstacles now. ‘You looked me in the visor with no difficulty.’ ‘Well, I mean, that’s a visor, y’know? That’s different. I mean, c’mon, I thought I was talking to a droid, not a...’ I think I can piece together where this is going, but making him say it is the only way to drag him over this hill. ‘Finish that sentence.’

‘A really hot babe...’ That’s what I thought. This is awkward for me, but it must be a hundred times worse for him. ‘You have permission to speak freely about me. We’ll be spending the next week together, so we should get any difficulties like this out of the way now. No use wasting your father’s credits on ineffective training.’ ‘Well when you were in the armor you were just kind of a vaguely human shaped blob, nothing weird about that even when you said you were a woman, but then to go from that to this, like, immediately with no warning – like if you’d showed up wearing lighter armor I would have had time to get used to it, y’know? But you went from a faceless genderless droid suit to a muscle girl pinup poster in no time flat, that’s just not fair!’ This is getting somewhat endearing. I used to feel this way about a few of the disciplinarians.

‘I considered this before meeting you in the gym, and thought I took sufficient steps to mitigate it. I don’t consider my attire sexual – and I know this is going to keep being awkward, but could you describe specifically what about my presentation comes across that way?’ Now I’m starting to feel bad for pressing him, but this really needs to get taken care of if we’re going to be able to work together.

‘Well, I mean, okay, sorry – I didn’t mean to call you a pinup model. But, it’s just, there’s a lot of nuance to it that’s really hard to convey, and the fact that you didn’t even try makes it even hotter.’ ‘I’m willing to listen as long as it takes to solve this. Embarrassment is the least arduous thing I’ll be putting you through.’ ‘That, come on! That’s an innuendo, don’t say stuff like that!’ How could he possibly misconstrue that as sexual? That was a borderline threat.

‘I was referring to training. Knife fighting, blaster handling, and basic unarmed combat are all foundational to my work, and your father wants you to learn them.’ ‘Okay that’s – just say what you mean. I’m not dumb, I know that obviously there’s no way for there to ever...be anything between us – like it’ll never happen, but that doesn’t stop my mind from wandering when you leave a statement open ended like that. You must think I’m just a creepy little fucking freak, don’t you?’ I’ve been getting better at being emotional lately, but this is going to really test my skills. It helps that he reminds me of myself when I was his age, under all the training.

‘No. I understand exactly how you feel.’ ‘What, how? You’re so stony and focused, no shot you ever felt like this about anybody.’ That hurts a little. ‘I’m going to tell you a story, but only if you promise not to tell your forum. It’s personal.’ ‘Sure, you’ve already given me like ten times as much info as we managed to scrape together ourselves.’ ‘When I was in the Imperial Storm Trooper Academy-’ ‘You were a Storm Trooper? That makes a lot of sense actually. Sorry, that’s another thing we debate about, I’ll try not to interrupt again.’ What part of my life haven’t they dissected at this point?

‘When I was just starting, they used to discipline me for my accent. They said it was unbecoming of a Storm Trooper, because a representative of the Empire needed to sound clear and confident.’ I’ve never told anybody about this, almost can’t believe I am now. ‘What the fuck, that’s horrible!’ ‘For minor infractions it was just my instructor, but those minor infractions built up into major infractions. Major infractions were carried out by a dedicated disciplinarian.’ Hopefully me embarrassing myself will make him feel more comfortable. Talking about this feels good, somehow. Like someone taking a supply pack off my shoulders.

‘You seem to have a healthy sexual appetite, so imagine what this did to a fifteen year old boy’s brain.’ ‘You said you’re a woman though.’ Oh right, not everybody grows up the way I did. ‘I was a boy, who became a soldier, who became a woman, who became an outlaw. Regardless; how do you think you would react if an older woman, about the age I am now, in a skintight Imperial Black uniform locked you in a stockade and whipped you across the back with a crop?’ He doesn’t even need to answer, I can see him picturing it. I’m laughing. I guess this is all pretty absurd, why not laugh about it?

‘Holy shit I think I’d bust on the spot!’ ‘I don’t know what you mean when you say “bust”, do you mean-’ ‘Don’t say it, but the horniest interpretation you can think of is the right one.’ Dialects change so strangely. ‘Anyway, that’s – I mean damn, for one thing that’s awful, I’m sorry to hear it. But also, like on the other hand – holy shit. Why the hell do they need to go around conquering planets, the Empire could fund all the projects in the galaxy if they just got into the porn industry.’ He really is starting to sound like some of my old foul mouthed squadmates. The fun ones.

‘I think I’d have done a lot worse at that career than at being a soldier. The point is, I would think about that for days after it was done. We lived in barracks with a rigorously regimented schedule, so I never had an opportunity to-’ I still don’t think we’re familiar enough for me to say those words out loud yet.

‘Yeah, I getcha. So, uhh, and let me know if this is me reading it wrong – but are you saying you’re okay with me practically drooling over you? Because, I mean, like, that’s totally doable. I was looking away to try to be polite because otherwise I’d just have been thinking about, well – y’know; like, the whole workout.’ At least he knows when to be honest with an authority figure. ‘You’ve managed to maintain eye contact throughout this whole conversation. Have you been doing that this entire time?’

‘No. No, now that you mention it I haven’t. I guess, I dunno, now that we’re talking you feel less like a celebrity and more just like a person. A person who went through some really fucked up shit, by the way, just want to reiterate that part. But, uhh, yeah, I don’t really talk to people much, and women even less, so I guess – sorry for being weird about it.’ Not used to accepting apologies without reprimanding someone.

‘Well, if you ever need to be weird about it again, let me set a guideline so we can stop talking about this and get back to your training: I don’t encourage it, and I’ll certainly never participate in it, but whatever actions you take that don’t involve me and that I’m left unaware of; I have no say in. Do you understand?’ ‘Yeah, crystal clear. I’ll, uhh, well – I certainly won’t talk about anything I may or may not hypothetically do to relieve any theoretical awkward feelings that arise due to any potential opinions I have about any parts of your body.’ He’s a funny kid, not sure if he’s doing it on purpose or not. Huxley should cut him some slack.

‘With that many qualifiers you communicated almost nothing at all. You’d make a great officer. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, our break is over. You’ve had enough time to recover from your warmup, time to start the real workout.’ ‘Fuuuuck.’

[cheek-kisses]

If you love Young Royals, adore Prince Wilhelm and admire the brilliant acting of Edvin Ryding - watch this! An editing masterpiece!