#a man who needs zoloft

[quakearts]

various twt requests.

[scouting4love]

Please talk about it so bad this tangent sounds so interesting

Omg... I will go on my bipolar, brain rot rant for you 🫵

I do think that Roxas & Riku are really good narrative foils for each other, especially at the end of Days, tragically so! I think it's also looked over and brushed off quite a bit, my reason being that, in the game, Roxas and Riku only interact once on a meaningful level and that's the fight at the end.

Days, as a game, is about the emotions that make us human. Throughout the game, Xion and Roxas see things like love (Beast's Castle), friendship (Aladdin), and experience those things along with sorrow, desperation, etc. On the flip side, Riku is "real", he was never split in half. He doesn't have to learn all of those things and he knows what he's feeling; e.g. when Xion tries to cut him deep and asks if Riku hates her and Riku answers with "No, I'm just sad." (He's so fucking emo during this game.)

Riku also has a purpose during this game and that is to wake Sora up. He's working with Naminé and DiZ to do so. Roxas is collecting hearts for "kingdom hearts" so everyone in the organization can be "complete again." Throughout the whole game, we read in his diary, hear him talk to his friends, and hear in his inner thoughts that he doesn't know what the fuck that means. He doesn't know what a heart is, he doesn't know what having a heart means, and he doesn't know why he's doing what he's doing. He just knows he was given an 8-8 blue collared job, a roof over his head, and he's part of a cult now.

Personality wise, during the game, Roxas is very curious and sweet. He wants to know more about having a heart, he's always concerned when his friends are hurt, and he's always trying to cheer them up. His temper does flare (especially concerning Saïx) and he's a shit talker. At the end of the game, he is fucking PISSED, as is his right! One of his friends has been lying through his teeth to him, the other is dead due to work place negligence, no one is telling him the truth, and he wants answers! Riku is in what I like to call his "Zoloft Era" because he needs it. Since he's gotten, basically groomed in the first game, dealt with all the shit in Castle Oblivion during CoM (watching his clone die and killing people), and now he has to put up with DiZ's grown ass throwing a hissy fit, he has mellowed out considerably. He makes level headed decisions, like giving Xion time to decide on what she wants to do and has confidence that she will do what's right and doesn't pressure her. He also doesn't shit talk like he does in the first game, he has learned his lesson.

So, at the end of the game, when it all comes to a head, it does so in the saddest fucking way. Roxas understandably upset because his best friend just fucking died and he's the only one who even remembers her (sound familiar?) is going to destroy "kingdom hearts". If he does that, he's gonna get his ass kicked! He's acting on sheer impulse and anger but can you blame him? He's 15. DiZ tells Riku that the only way to get Sora to wake up is to bring Roxas over so Riku leaves to do that and he stops Roxas before he gets to the castle where they fight. When Riku asks what Roxas is doing and he tells him, Riku can remember Xion but just barely like how he can remember Sora just barely but she's slipping away. Riku understands what Roxas is trying to do but he can't let him go through with it.

The end of the fight is the most important part, in my opinion. Roxas beats Riku's ass twice, breaks his fucking wrist, and is sick of his shit. He also shit talks Riku which Riku does not participate in. Riku knows what he has to do at this point and takes off his blindfold, accepting the darkness in his heart, and taking on the appearance of the man who possessed him in the first game. Doing this, allows Riku to win and they put Roxas in the VR Twilight Town. The whole reason Riku won is from taking off the blindfold, by resigning himself to looking like Ansem, Seeker of Darkness. He is willing to give up his sense of self, his identity, his existence, just to get his best friend to wake up. Roxas isn't willing to, isn't able to do that and that's why he lost.

Roxas' character is about identity, personhood, what makes a person a person. "I feel this, so surely I exist, so surely I am meant to be here." The things he is being told, i.e. you're not supposed to have a heart, you're not supposed to feel, don't line up with what he is experiencing and he has to find out what it means to "be" by himself. That's what being a person is, figuring things out, finding out things for yourself, finding out who you are, what you are supposed to be. It is inherently selfish and there is nothing wrong with that, I think it's good for his character. The problem is that it's a double edge sword, it is his ultimate downfall. "My heart belongs to me."

Riku's character is about sacrifice. We have seen it plenty of times throughout the whole game series. He puts himself in the realm of darkness, he spends a whole year trying to wake Sora up, he becomes Sora's dreameater, he sacrifices himself for Sora in KH3 (gay ass). The point is, he is a protector. He puts himself in harms way without a second thought for the sake of his friends. He doesn't want to look like his fucking groomer from the first game but if it'll help his friend, he's gonna fucking do it! "To protect the things that matter."

I think the line, "Forgive me, Roxas," is probably one of the most heartbreaking in Days and it's so so so so depressing that it's not in the game (it's in the manga). If they had put it in the game it would be more clear that they are narrative foils and give the audience more sympathy to Riku's character. In the end, both of them just want to save their best friends but Riku knows he has to take away what Roxas is fighting for not only himself but for Xion as well. He doesn't want to, he's fucking 16 but in the end, he is willing and able to give up is personhood to save the thing he cares about most. Even though Roxas wants to save Xion, he is unwilling to give up his agency and as an audience, technically as Roxas' friends (cause we have been playing the game and reading his diary, etc.), we understand that he had every reason to fight. We also understand that Sora needs to wake up and we understand why Riku needs to do what he needs to do. It's kind of a lose lose because both of them don't end up on top at the end of the game either. Riku may have won, yet he gave up the thing that Roxas was fighting for, his agency, his personhood, his sense of self and identity but he got his best friend back in the end. Roxas lost and had to go back to Sora but ended up keeping himself separated (as we see in kh2 and DDD) but he lost his best friend in the process. They are really good narrative foils and I don't think it is talked about enough..!!

[keys-hellscape-1020]

Gaz Headcannons

Damn y’all, sorry for disappearing for six months. I’ve been in and out of the mental hospital like a yo-yo, so uh, have some headcannons to make up for it ig.

SFW

Tw: Cursing, brief mentions of violence, (very brief) sexual themes.

I picture him as a night owl, but that doesn’t mean he likes sleeping in super late. He likes some structure in his day (a side-effect of being in the military) and if he’s not out of bed by 9 he starts to feel guilty, like he’s wasting the day.

Despite me saying he’s a night owl, he’s not truly a night owl so much as he just gets so absorbed in what he’s doing he looses track of time and next thing he knows it’s 2am.

From an outside perspective it would be easy to assume he has more trauma than the rest of the 141- but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. He probably has the same amount for the most part, he’s just the only one who handles it in a healthy way. He’ll reach out for help if he needs it, has a therapist he sees regularly, and takes a low-dose of anti-anxiety medication (I want to say Zoloft cause that’s what I’m on lol). All said, he’s the only one who actually acknowledges it and doesn’t pretend it’s not there.

This man definitely games. He might play a first person shooter here and there, but honestly I don’t think he’d like them, they remind him to much of work and in his free time that’s the last thing he wants to be reminded of. I can see him playing Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, and Graveyard Keeper (it’s not well known but it’s SO good). The grim themes while still managing to be a cozy game really appeal to him.

His perfect date is you two ordering take-out and eating it on the couch while you play games together. He just absolutely adores being in your presence.

Despite this, quality time is not his main love language (although it is a close second). His first is words of affirmation. He loves how you get flushed and turn away from him when he compliments you out of nowhere. Literally you could just be in the same room, not even interacting, and this man would out of nowhere be like “You’re so fucking gorgeous. It’s a miracle I don’t drop to my knees every time you enter a room.” And then just causally go back to what he was doing.

On that note! This man is so into body worship. Just let him kiss, and lick, and suck, on you to his heart’s content and you will have one happy Gaz.

Also he just adores showing you off. He likes staying home sure, but he also likes taking you out on date nights and flaunting you (respectfully). He’s just so very proud to be in a relationship with you.

On the theme of bars, if someone gets close to you or touches you without your permission, this man is watching. He won’t say or do anything, he’ll just silently watch the person’s behavior. His years in the military have made him very good at reading people.

If he sees that they’re getting closer than you want, or otherwise making you uncomfortable, he’ll suddenly get very close to you. He won’t outright say anything, he knows you can handle yourself, but he’ll rest a hand on your shoulder. Both telling you that he’s there if you need him, and the creep to watch themselves.

If they back off without him having to intervene, great, you both can go back to enjoying yourselves, if he does need to get involved gods help the person his aggression is aimed towards.

He’ll take a few steps towards them, subtly growling (you know that one scene with price? Yeah that). He’ll tell them to back off, that you’re obviously not enjoying the conversation. If words don’t work, he won’t hesitate to resort to a fist fight. He won’t land the first hit however, he knows better. He might not be as physically strong as Ghost or Price, but this man has technique, and his opponent is knocked out in an heartbeat.

After that he is all over you, asking you if you’re alright, if you want to go home, etc. Whatever you need or want will be provided. He isn’t feeling jealous in that moment, just concerned. He wants to make sure you’re okay more than anything. After the fact, when he thinks back on it, he may feel a spark of jealousy, but it’s nothing he can’t quickly and easily reason away. After all, he trusts you completely.

NSFW

Tw: Body worship, nipple play (but no mention of breasts), biting, mentions of BDSM (in general), choking, slapping, Praise kink, minor degradation, quickies, aftercare

As mentioned earlier this man is the king, of body worship. He’ll work you up slowly, sensually. Kissing, licking, and teasing every inch of you before he even thinks of touching in-between your legs.

Your nipples will be sore by the time this man is done with them. He’s just enthralled by them, watching them get hard at he pinches and bites.

Speaking of bites, it’s not just your nipples. Afterwards you’ll find plenty of dark bite marks on your chest, neck, waist, and inner thighs. The feeling of your flesh under his teeth is just… exquisite.

Yes this man may be a tad bit… nippy, but he isn’t into anything that would truly hurt you. The farthest he would go would be choking you (after a long conversation and plenty of research), or a quick slap or two to your ass.

He also mixes degradation and praise together beautifully. Things like “such a beautiful little slut for me.” And “Damn, you’re such a good little whore.” He’ll sprinkle in a healthy bit of praise to. His main priority is your pleasure after all. <3

While he isn’t opposed to aspects of BDSM, I can’t see him being interested in the strict dynamics side of it, at all. Yeah sure he enjoys doming and subbing but I can’t see him wanting to bring them outside of the bedroom. And even in the bedroom, there’s no strict rules. He just wants to have fun with it, and he wants you to as well.

He isn’t opposed to quickies. He doesn’t partake in them often as I see him having a sex drive that is average to low. But if you both need to be somewhere soon and you just have to have him? He’ll get on his knees and make sure that yours are wobbling as you walk out to the car. Don’t worry about him darling, you can make it up to him later. Like I said, your pleasure is his priority.

When all is said and done this man takes very good care of you. He’ll insist on a shower or bath together (depending on if you can stand or not). He seriously enjoys taking a bath with you afterwards though. He’ll run a bath that is steaming hot, “To relax your muscles” he says. He’ll also add some lavender and sandalwood oil to the water, to relax and ground you.

He’ll take such good care of you. If your hair needs washed he’ll give you the best scalp massage you’ve ever had. If it doesn’t (or you just don’t want him to) he’ll put it in a remarkably neat bun on the top of your head so it doesn’t get wet. And if you don’t have a lot of hair/no hair? You’ll still get a scalp massage. It doesn’t matter how little hair you have, this man is rubbing shampoo into your scalp claiming “It helps keep you clean!” Just let him take care of you please.

After he’s dealt with your hair he’ll lather up a rag with a generous amount of soap and take his time gently cleaning off every part of you. He won’t ask you to, but his heart will melt if you return the favor and wash his body clean.

After you both are clean he’ll take his time drying you off with the fluffiest towel he can find. This man knows your skincare routine by heart and WILL make sure every step gets done in the correct order. Once you’re all clean and dry he gives you some of his clothes to wear. And you know this man wears oversized clothes when he’s off duty for the sole purpose of making sure they fit you.

If you’re hungry he’ll order your favorite take-out, if your not he’ll still insist you eat a granola bar and drink some water. You burned a lot of calories and sweat a lot! You need fuel!

If you’re somehow still awake after all this he’ll gently pick you up and bring and you to bed. Falling asleep in this man’s arms is a dream come true. <3

A/N: I’ve never written any kind of smut before, so constructive criticism is very welcome. I got kinda out of control with the aftercare part. I had to stop myself. Plz let me know if you enjoyed!!

[totaldrama-showdowns]

Round 3 Match 4

Propaganda

Zee: I think we’ve all just collectively decided Zee is nonbinary

World's most nonbinary-looking character, come on

What if the world was made of soda

The most a total drama character has ever gendered in the history of the show

They are all of the genders AND none of the genders

the milk is a gender?

My guy has no gender, Zee is way too powerful to be bothered by this kind of social constructs. Soda is way more important than any gender

No gendar

Damien: Transmasc autistic swag!!!

he got that t-boy swag

his tboy swag

just look at him, he has trans swag like no other‼️‼️‼️

Are you kidding me, that dude just has the strongest vibes.

Chris picked the reboot cast and threw in some normal guy named Damien just to traumatize him

Come on man look at him. The bomber jacket over the sweater. The absolute geekboy swag. The blatant need for at least 50mg zoloft. He's got it all

THE tguy of all time for realz

his weird pencil moustache is giving "ive only just started growing facial hair and im just trying things out"

[detentiontrack]

More CZ facts (with context) for those who are new here

1. Got abandoned or was born in the wild and was a homeless kitty for a year until we found him digging around in the trashcans in front of our new house for food (he then walked into the house and took a nap on the couch)

2. HATES men. Will hiss and bite or hide if a man other than my brother is in the same room as him

3. Ate a piece of thread he pulled off of a towel and needed a $5000 surgery to save his life (I’m still paying it off)

4. HATES my mom for literally no reason. She’s an animal person and has always been kind to him. But he attacks her every time she comes into my room and needs to be physically restrained

5. Can’t be separated from me for more than 5 hours and will scream and cry at the door until I come home

6. Sees ghosts

7. Terrorizes my mom’s 65lb golden retriever for his own entertainment every chance he gets (she’s terrified of him)

8. Has to wear a sweater in the winter because he gets cold (he also enjoys when you dump warm laundry on top of him and will yell at you if he sees you take clothes out of the dryer until you do it)

9. Likes people food more than kitty food (despite having a sensitive tummy and needing special food so he doesn’t throw up on my bed every day)

10. Has the full legal name “Collector Zoloft the third” (he’s my first cat)

[godza]

i got put on zoloft at like 12 and been on it ever since and now im on the max dose but i need it man i get such bad withdrawal after more than two days bc ive been on it for years. and my brain sucks ass without it i need my serotonin locked in or i will start killing people. one time i was withdrawed ans on my period i started threatening people like i told my friend i was genuinely going to kill him but he laughed bc im 5'4" and hes built like a brick. it was so bad but they gave me max after the hospital and im doing good but cannot lower my dose or i start killing the hostages. and witjdrawal from my mood stabilizwrs just makes me nauseuous. just tuped out hungry bc im hungry. i dont have any time for lunch tmrw bc i accidentally booked myswlf out. hopefully adolescence will end early. damn. anyway the police lights outside always jumoscare me atop flashingggggg. im so tired man i gotta go to bed but im evil. what am i gonna read tmrw durinf breaks i have novels im super behind im but i miss kse so bad already and its only been less rhan a day. my baby. i need to go to bed but the flashing lights are pissing me off go away who is doing crime on a monday night

[screamingiminlovewithyou]

Tell me about each show you’ve been to and your seats!!!

oh fun!!! I became a fan in 2009, but due to terrible anxiety and not-right medicine (thanks, Zoloft), I didn’t attend the Fearless tour when she came back around in 2010. I remember my sister and her friend were going but my mom said she couldn’t attend and I could go with my sister or not at all. The me of today reply regrets this.

2011- Speak Now Tour in Sunrise. 6/3/2011. This was my firsttttt concert! I wore this shirt and I think I was in 7th grade. That isn’t how I remember the shirt, it was the pictures from Hey Stephen in the Fearless Booklet. However, i do remember having a meltdown about my outfit and eating teriyaki chicken. We were in nosebleeds and I couldn’t really see a thing. I don’t remember it that much.

2011- Speak Now 11/13/11. She came back around and my mom and I got tickets in the lower bowl for like 97 each. It was SO much fun. I made a sign that said I love love love you but I was too shy to hold it up. She came so close on the love story float. I wore the haunted speak now shirt that I still have.

2013- Red tour Miami 4/13/13 (she loves Florida on the 13th). My mom and I went and I remember being at school and SO ready to go. I wore black glitter Keds. Black high waisted shorts. A red glitter 13 on my hands. And this shirt. My friend at the time (we just fell out after graduation but I loved her), had nosebleeds and my mom very kindly gave her her seat and sat with her aunt. We had a blast. Taylor sang today was a fairytale.

2015- 1989 tour NC. I think 6/15/15? Maybe? Or 6/8? Cursed trip due to my mom’s dreaded ex and I was so desperate to meet taylor i sort of put myself in a mood. However, I gave taylor nation a whole booklet of letters from fans. Last arena show I saw of hers.

2015- 1989 Tour Tampa 10/31/15. Went with the same friend and we had nosebleeds but it was the BEST! Leaving was a disaster filled with ant bites, being stranded, exploding diet cokes, and bus rides to unknown locations. We made it home though.

2018- Rep tour Tampa 8/14/18. Same friend and had a BLAST!! We had lower bowl and a great view. She sang invisible and the person who requested it was behind me and was extremely emotional lol.

2018- Rep Tour Miami 8/18/18- Got last minute tickets on StubHub for 100 (fuck!) and went with a different friend and my mom. Had last row seats but it was worth it! She sang breathe and I cried cause that song makes me think of my parents divorce and i didn’t want to hear it lol. My mom was also had lowkey sassy to me so I was a little irate. Had frat bros near me who spilled some beer on my leg.

2023- Eras Tampa- 4/14/23- Middle bowl but I didn’t wear my contacts and was so mad at myself. Magical nonetheless and she sang The Great War and YOYOK for the first time. I left needing so badly to go again that I was led onto a journey of desperation, scammers, and depression. I believe someone near me spilled some beer on me, AGAIN!

2023- Eras Minneapolis 6/24/23- Lowerbowl and amazing seats! Wack ass couple in front of me and the man was like nine feet tall and the girl was drunk and pissy and they completely blocked me from seeing. They were rude and I cried and my mom attempted to ask security for assistance but he was rude as fuck. I cried during the whole lover set cause I couldn’t see anything (of course you can dance and have fun but bro if you’re that tall and you guys are being that annoying have some decorum. I was just so happy to be there and so excited that my bubble was dramatically bursted when i realized i was completely visually blocked. But they ended up scooting over and so did i but I’ll never forgive them). Dear John and Daylight.

2024- Eras MIAMIIII 10/18/24. Last minute tickets. Restricted seats but the view was fine. We had an easy time seeing. Some drunk girls in front of us who also blocked our views and were asked by not just my mother (she can be a bit Karen-like at times) but others to move a little or chill and they were not having it…but eventually they just moved before taylor even came on. I wanted NOTHING more than a fearless or debut song, specifically Tim McGraw cause i never went to the fearless tour and I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE SANG IT!!!!!!!!!! With timeless. I also wanted a folklore song, specifically mirrorball or this is me trying and she sang TIMT. I weirdly had a moment in the car driving down where I felt like she was going to play daylight again and, yes, she did! But that’s okay. It was perfect and I’m so happy i went!!

[conflictandscotchblog]

Trying To Meet Women The Old-Fashioned Way

I'm not sure why women would give me their numbers, even unsolicited on my part. When they do, and I reach out, why do they not return my calls? Is it a game, give out their number, then see which idiot calls. Is there a bell near their phones that they ring, like bartenders when they receive tips.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

I have a face made for online dating. Not because I am devilishly handsome, and women fall for me at first sight.

On the contrary, with online dating, I control the first look women have of me. I decide which slightly blurry old photograph, taken at just the right angle, where I pass for attractive. This way a woman could get to know me before meeting me face-to-face.

Why do I need this buffer?

Well, if there is one thing I know about myself, I can write funny e-mails. Once I get someone to laugh, I've won half the battle.

However, before online dating, I had to meet women the old-fashioned way.

Drinking, and going to bars.

I admit, I’ve never been good at meeting women, whether in a bar or on the street (not hookers). There aren’t many success stories of a long-term relationship with a woman I met in a bar. I met my ex-wife in a bar, though (enough said).

Maybe it was me, the way I presented myself. One Friday night long ago, I stood at the bar at a local restaurant. After only two beers, the bartender asked me if I was alright.

I assured him I was fine, but asked why the inquiry.

"Okay," he said, "I had to ask,” then added, “you look angry."

The next night, in another bar, after one or two beers, that bartender came up to me and asked me if I was okay.

I assured him I was.

"Okay," he said, "just wanted to check,” then added, “you look angry."

I understand, but let’s look at the other side of that coin.

Would you rather see someone upset, or see a six-foot-two-inch man, with wild grin, alone, at the end of a bar, as he sipped a beer and stared off into space?

I’ll take what’s behind Door Number One.

Live and learn.

Although, I did have a few barroom encounters which I thought could have ended better.

Let me preface this first encounter by stating the following:

After my initial separation, I had a hard time concentrating or getting any sleep. This went on for quite a while, to the point where I needed some help.

A doctor (bless her heart) to whom I just told my aforementioned problems, reached into a drawer and handed me samples of Zoloft. Not only that, she prescribed additional supplies.

While on Zoloft, I had no anxiety, zero.

I credit Zoloft and the beer I wasn't supposed to be drinking, with what happened next.

It was a random Saturday afternoon in Hoboken, New Jersey, and found myself standing alone in a bar. I looked over and saw a very pretty woman being bothered by the man that stood next to her. With each step back she took her unwanted companion matched it with his own step forward.

I then did something I had only seen done in movies. Something I had never done before, or since. I stepped in between the woman and her unwanted friend, slipped my arm around her waist and said, "There you are, I've been looking for you" and glided her away.

Thank you, Zoloft.

The rest of the day flew by, we had great conversations, and we laughed, a lot. She lived in Brooklyn but her family was originally from East Brunswick, New Jersey, which is not far from me. Just before she left with her friends, I asked for her number, and she gave it to me.

The following Monday I called her from work.

"Hello?" she answered.

I said who I was, and she quickly replied, "Can I call you right back?"

That was over a decade ago, I'm almost ready to give up hope she’ll return my call (almost).

Jump ahead a few years from that encounter and again I’m in a crowded bar (Zoloft free). I’m with my friend Kevin, who looks over my right shoulder as we talk. He told me a woman across the bar kept looking at me.

I laughed it off, but he insisted that she was. I turned and scanned the crowd (I am so smooth) and found the woman on the other side of the bar. A man stood next to her, who leaned in close, and talked to her, continuously.

She looked bored, and a few seconds later, she turned away from him and looked directly at me. She then repeated the routine.

She listened, she listened, she turned, she looked.

This was new.

A short time later she left her companion and moved toward the restrooms. However, instead of taking the less obstructed route, she cut through the crowded bar and squeezed past me.

"She did that on purpose," Kevin said, and I surprisingly agreed.

On her return, she took the same path back, until we stood eye-to-eye. Her right hand appeared, and she handed me her business card, all without saying a word. She returned to her companion but continued the flirtatious glances in my direction.

The next day (too soon?) I called the number on her card. Unfortunately, it went directly to voice mail.

I told my female co-workers what happened, and asked them if I should call her again since she hadn’t replied. They unanimously agreed that I should not call her again. They all agreed I should wait for her to return my call.

So, of course, I called again and left another message on her voicemail.

Maybe she was on the phone with the girl from Hoboken, but I never heard from her.

I'm not sure why women would give me their numbers, even unsolicited on my part, and then never return the calls.

Why not just give me a fake number, anything that begins with ‘555’ will be fine.

Once met a woman at a bar, she gave me her number, and I called it as soon as I got home. Just wanted to be sure she didn’t give me the number for the local Pizza Hut (it wasn’t).

Back to online dating I went. But, just to be safe, if in the future you happen upon a slightly blurry man who, given the right angle could pass for attractive, and is grinning wildly to himself while sipping a beer, that will be me.

[conannxl]

Okay, Drowsy Chaperone fans unite to help me.

If I get the part of man in chair, what should I do. There's a bunch of you little critters out here and I figure if there's a general consensus I will follow it, and of course whatever my director says. Here's my absolute YAP session of a post:

I'm just going to put it out there and say that whenever I do a show even though I'm extremely amateur, I study it. A lot. I've been going through Reddit, YouTube, news articles and interviews etc. trying to find a good answer, although I guess good is objective. I find man in chair to be a very confusing character at times.

Many theorize that the whole thing could be him with his aforementioned zoloft addiction finally overdosing and living through his final moments hallucinating the show, or perhaps at the very end it's when he overdoses which allows him to finally interact with the characters. I've heard people say that he kills himself at the end, which I agree is feasible, but it takes away from the point of the show, along with the zoloft theories. I'm not saying that his love for the show is only boiled down to just being high, but its a show that's near and dear to him, and having it be "hahaha I kill myself my favorite show" seems really just unnecessarily edgy even though it might come off as more deep.

I really, really, deeply enjoy Bob Martin's portrayal of the character and I admire him so much. I feel like the Broadway's ending was very ambiguous, but I'd like to believe that if anything, it's him finally becoming content with the ending of the show (and his opinion of the show) and the direction his life went, or just him finally dying, not from some sort of drug induced episode. With other posts that have the same question as this one, many commenters mention how you really need to go with the director's vision which makes a lot of sense.

But like I said, I really want a more definite answer. Is it leaning more towards him finally giving in and taking his own life at the end, or finally being happy with himself? Moreover, do people really believe that its just him dying?

I really like people saying that he's agoraphobic, Jewish, or a closeted gay man which really gives me a decent idea of where to place his character. I can get the first half down. (Where he's just talking about the show or defending it, whatever, basically before the drinking) But after he gets tipsy, towards live or leave, I'm a bit lost again. Is it more anger and sadness, or just recounting the story in a funny way because he's under the influence?

There are so many dreadfully sad monologues in this show that I think get over taken by the humor in it. You always want to be true to the material and your director's vision but just burning it all down to just for laughs takes away the meaning- I cant figure out his intentions- I despise when people laugh during those monologues because like I said its so sad but its a comedy so why do those jokes have to be in there? And when people finally do portray him in a way that takes away from that humor during those deep moments, the actor gets absolutely torn into. Please help! If I even get the part, I want to be able to feel like I did it right, and not have some snappy guy be like, well this left a bad taste in my mouth because blah blah blah. No offense to anybody who might've left a comment like that but if you don't agree with somebody's choices for a character you can say it in a way that isn't being a dick jesus christ.

Thanks if you can help.

(I apologize if this is hard to read/follow, I'm not a good writer)

(Forgot to mention, I saw this very interesting video called "The Intoxicating Nostalgia of The Drowsy Chaperone" on YouTube. please go watch it if you're interested!!!! It talks about how the show itself was racist at times and not defendable and the whole show is really the man in chair finding reasons to still endorse the show with its nature.)

[blogpostatron3000]

anyways time to BLOGPOST (as is my GODGIVEN RIGHT)

my roleplay characters have all irreparably fucked up the way i speak. i say "ought" and "shall" and "need not" now. i have a character who capitalizes words for emphasis because she shouts 90% of the time and now i type that way too. i cannot turn off the "18th century high society english" character voice when doing improv on a different character. it is just like. Engraved in my soul now. which is amusing because it was very difficult to do when i first got started, to the point where id spend hours tweaking dialogue but now it just happens. By itself. Thanks Pride and Prejudice

this happened a while back with my old old warlock but it was worse because she spoke like she was genuinely like impaired in some way. really really childish. got to the point where i was saying okey-dokey irl and feeling dread upon saying the word fun

anyways REALLY EXCITED TO BE ROLEPLAYING AGAIN sometimes i get afraid my friends dont really like the way i roleplay because im not as fast as they are, or Canny With The Bit as it were. but i have been having fun. one of them did bring up to me that he's concerned i don't roleplay much with my current character outside of just finding people to pvp ("murdering people can't be your entire personality " he said) which is true in some respects but he obviously doesn't have the full picture because we have been around each other IC for like THREE DAYS and i keep getting hired to do these assassinations. and who am i to say no man i need the money.............. SORRY I DO SO MUCH DAMAGE AND THAT ALL THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WANT TO PAY ME. they hate to see a barbarian winning

anyways if i weren't on Zoloft now i would have gone insane over that interaction but i am on Zoloft now. And i will take every opportunity to tell people im on Zoloft now. actual miracle drug except for the part where i can't sleep at all ever

BUT YES ROLEPLAY im excited to have hobbies again this semester. we shall see how long it lasts

[oliversdumbshit]

bro please go into my asks, im abt to go to sleep and I need something funny to laugh at, or maybe like a theory or something. Just don't like be creepy or anything

Just send me some goddamn like requests for a fic, maybe? But unless it's sanders sides, i aint doing it, sorry. Im literally gonna cry if by the time its 12 pm or whatever time i log onto tumblr tomorrow and i aint got nothing. Please

im so fucking bored

my therapist wont let me go on anything above 25mg on my antidepressants AND IM ON ZOLOFT!

ZOLOFT, PEOPLE!

jesus christ man

even if i dont know who u r, i will be happy

[totaldrama-showdowns]

Round 1 Match 8

Propaganda

Scott: "COURTNEY I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND"- Scott (Total Drama All-Stars)

"Courtney I'm your girlfriend"

courtney I’m your girlfriend

🦅🦅TRANSBIAN SCOTT REAL🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

Damien: Transmasc autistic swag!!!

he got that t-boy swag

his tboy swag

just look at him, he has trans swag like no other‼️‼️‼️

Are you kidding me, that dude just has the strongest vibes.

Chris picked the reboot cast and threw in some normal guy named Damien just to traumatize him

Come on man look at him. The bomber jacket over the sweater. The absolute geekboy swag. The blatant need for at least 50mg zoloft. He's got it all

THE tguy of all time for realz

his weird pencil moustache is giving "ive only just started growing facial hair and im just trying things out"

[nervousheartgiver]

I've decided that I need to journal again. I need to do it consistently. I'm trying to teach myself to do everything consistently. I like routines but less the part of creating it but being in it. I like that. I like knowing what's going to happen next.

Anyways, when I woke up today, I scrolled on Instagram for far too long. I'm going to stop scrolling like that when I just wake up. It puts me behind.

I only had a few things I had to do today, but still, I think that would be a good habit.

I took my car to the dealership to see if I could get an anti-theft device installed on it. I knew it was a possibility that it didn't need this, but I second-guessed myself because my Dad scared me. They did inspect my sunroof since there was a recall for it but mine was in good condition.

After that, Pops and I went to Pizza Hut. I had my Arby's interview. I think it went well even though I kept getting tongue tied. I did give a couple of vague answers, so I'm not sure. We'll see the results in the next few days, though.

I don't like that Pops continuously forgets about buying Plan B. It makes me not want to have sex with him because it comes off as "I got what I wanted so brain no think anymore." It's been several different occasions, and even when I remind him, I typically have to remind multiple times. Yet he'll get defensive at times when I mention or comment his forgetfulness. We did end up getting the Plan B though.

We also picked up a lot of good free furniture from a local queer person, which was very cool. We're even going back to get a bed for Pops!

Oh, and my father is helping me pay off the car. I don't think he's going to apologize about the things said to me. I will probably have to heal from that on my own... which is.. so.. super.. duper.. fun...

Overall, today was a good, peaceful day. Nothing too crazy. I took an man-made edible(not your regular thc) on Saturday, and I still feel wonky from it. I don't like it. I feel like I'm on Zoloft like I pushing through wet sand. I'm not really here. I hate talking to people and interacting like this because it's overwhelming, and that feeling then turns into anxious frustration. I'm thinking tonight with enough water I should be fine tomorrow.

I also get some well-needed space from Pops tomorrow. We talked about getting a bunk bed today. I don't know if he actually wants to do that. Sometimes, he reminds me of the bad parts of me.

I feel like I need to work out tonight, so it starts a pattern, but I really don't feel up to it. I have a friend who works out first thing when they wake up because if they can get through that, they feel they can conquer anything. I will try that tomorrow.

[bloodsalted]

sam's looking like he's planning on staying for the long haul the more the lady starts crying. down among all those mortals, his brother looks up towards dean and his curious companion--gives the pair a slightly confused look--before giving dean a wave that the older brother seems to interpret without any need of a word. he was telling him he was sticking around. probably going to see her home. dean was on his own for a while. well. sorta. he had company. did he not?

the kinda company you come across at a burial for a hunter. not normal. unique and a whole lotta weird but..did he just call him doll? an uneven grin greets that sentiment. that's a new one. he's never been called DOLL before. kinda catches him off-guard. and yes. that's a slight dusting of pink above the collar of a well-loved leather coat.

not acknowledging the heat that it brings over his neck is precisely what dean plans on doing as he takes the bottle back and swallows another shot's worth of a gulp. teeth are bared but it goes down with the ease of a man who's had far worse and plenty of it. not a skill anyone should be proud of. being able to put it away like that. stay in his world long enough? comes with the territory. prescriptions for prozac, zoloft, xanax or all those other fancy benzos that put the brain to rest don't get dolled out to hunters. whiskey, scotch, bourbon and beer? those come easy.

dean wouldn't take that other stuff anyway. scares the hell out of him. what that stuff would do to him. make him like. nah. he'll deal with insomnia, nightmares and his own shit. "yeah. guess he doesn't have to worry about a damn thing anymore." least dean hopes so. he hopes the man's resting peacefully somewhere. that it's the true end for him and he's at rest. that no monsters were waiting for him. no bitter afterlife. only rest.

"she's gonna be okay. she'll have a lot of people who will make sure. it'll take a while but she'll get there." the stranger's question quickly sobers the hunter up. dean's smile drops. so does his chin. one hand lifts from the bottle and moves to rub at the back of his neck. a flinch of his mouth into a grimace of a grin. "yeah. uh. a few. too many. all started with my--," he cuts himself off. brows crinkle together. "uh.. yeah you weren't asking that part. i--ah. how about you? ever walk in her shoes...?"

The Nightmare's arms are folded across his chest. Simply watching the procession with the curiousity of a bystander. Drawn to the grief displayed by those who mourn the loss of a loved one.

He tries to imagine how it tastes. How would it feel to grieve? He could take the eyes of that poor heartbroken woman and find out.

But he's not stupid enough to try it here. The Corinthian knows what kind of company this is.

Hunters are curious folk. Willing to sacrifice their lives in the persuit of slaughtering those who succeed them in the food chain. They never ceased to entertain the Corinthian when he once frequented their dreams. Always weary, always on guard. They made for difficult prey to hunt, and all it did was encourage the Major Arcana to delve deeper into their dreams. To hone and finesse his skills. Taking a hunter by surprise and twisting their dreams into a brutal and torturous nightmare, he took pride in his ability to do that.

He casts a sidelong glance at the handsome young thing whom the monster had been drawn to. Its own innate nature drawing it close to its most natural prey. A good looking man- far from the crowd- drowning his sorrows.

His tongue flicks out across his lips, and he gratiously takes the bottle. Downing a generous sip of the hearty liquid before he swallows and takes a glance at the label. Listening to the mortals rambling all the while. He's fishing for knowledge, an understanding of just what the Corinthian knows.

Do you think that's all there is?

"Course not, doll." The Nightmare shoots him a soft smile as he hands back the bottle.

"But he ain't gotta worry about that any more. It's everyone he's left behind that has to bear the grief." A light gesture made towards the crowd. His attention lingering on the sobbing woman.

"You ever lost anyone close?"

[leaf-green-spring]

I am such a calm and well-adjusted individual, so untroubled, I am not sweating bullets

[signalhill-if]

⚕ — EMIL "DOC" ZHAO — he/him — DRUGGIST

If you asked Doc if he was a real doctor, he'd tell you a firm no. "Doctors need to swear by the Hippocratic Oath. I'm not prepared to say I'll do no harm." You could say he tends to take a more... heroic approach to medicine. Still, being one of the only physicians in the city who will treat you for no cost, people tend to trust him.

Doc's more like a pharmacist- if your pharmacist strapped on a gas mask and a sniper rifle to retrieve your Zoloft prescription from the ever-burning, raider infested wreck of an abandoned chemical plant. While he's away on his expeditions, he leaves his colleague, Joyette (who is a real doctor) in charge of their clinic. It was on one of these expeditions that he found you in your unfortunate state and saved your life.

Gender: Cis man Sexuality: Bisexual Relationship option? Yes

Appearance When you first met him, Doc was an intimidating sight- tall, broad-shouldered, clad in a black cloak and a gas mask modified to resemble an old-fashioned plague doctor mask. He's a lot more approachable in the clinic- his eyes are a warm, tired brown, his features are soft but refined, and there's a dusting of freckles across the light skin on his face. He's a reserved man, but he gives off the impression that he knows what he's talking about. Typically he has his silky black hair up in a well-kept bun, but occasionally you'll catch him wearing it long and loose around his shoulders.

Doc is probably the only truly friendly face you'll find in this city. So maybe try not to antagonize him. Just a thought.