#a man in his mid 50s is a great-great-uncle

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Just looked at the family tree I had to make myself for Sins Of The Father & realized that Boremund is Yorick & Ella's Great-Great-Uncle

[pashterlengkap]

Donald Trump is “fearful of Alzheimer’s” since his father had it too

Mary Trump, the clinical psychologist and lesbian niece of GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump, discussed her uncle’s risk for dementia due to his family history, as well as how he had “no patience” for his own father’s cognitive decline in the 1990s. Fred Trump Sr., Donald Trump’s father, started showing signs of the disease in the late 1980s and was formally diagnosed with senile dementia in 1991. In the mid-1990s, the entire family met with Fred Trump Sr., where he didn’t recognize two of his own children and even appeared to ask his son, Donald Trump, for permission to buy a car. Related: Conservatives wanted “mental acuity” to be a top 2024 election issue. It’s blowing up in their face. “His mind is scrambled eggs!” “Donald just walked away, like, ‘Oh, God, get him away from me. He’s so annoying,’” Mary Trump told the Washington Post. “He had no patience, none whatsoever.” Your LGBTQ+ guide to Election 2024 Stay ahead of the 2024 Election with our newsletter that covers candidates, issues, and perspectives that matter. Daily * Weekly * Good News * “Turning 50 does make you think about mortality, or immortality, or whatever,” Donald Trump told Playboy in a 1997 interview. “It does hit you.” Associates of Donald Trump say that he grew more and more afraid that he, too, could suffer from dementia one day because of his family history. “Donald is no doubt fearful of Alzheimer’s,” an unnamed Trump Organization executive said. “He’s not going to talk about and not going to admit to it. But it’s relevant because every day he is hitting Biden with whether or not he is capable mentally of doing the job.” Donald Trump claims that he took the Montreal Cognitive Assessment — a test for signs of cognitive decline — twice, but the only time for which there are publicly available details is when he took it in 2018. He famously discussed taking the test with the media, repeating over and over how he was able to remember the words “Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.” Related words, like “man” and “woman,” aren’t used in the sequence on that test. That test was administered by then-White House physician and current Rep. Ronny Jackson (R-TX), who drank so much while working at the White House that the U.S. Navy demoted him even though he had already retired from military service. Donald Trump has lied about the test to the media, claiming that he got “extra credit” for some of his answers (it’s not that kind of test) and that it included the question “Multiply 3,293 times four, divide by three.” The test is for basic cognition, not complicated arithmetic. “That’s not on the test,” Jackson, a Trump ally, admitted about the math question. “He was making a joke about how difficult it was.” The test, though, is not difficult for someone who is not suffering from dementia. The average score for a 71-year-old – the age when Donald Trump took it – is 27 out of 30. But even if he passed the test in 2018, the creator of the test – neurologist Ziad Nasreddine – said that it isn’t valid after six years and that someone at Donald Trump’s age should be tested every eighteen months to two years. “I don’t think we can state a test six years ago is valid today,” he said. “There’s higher risk as you get older, and it could turn into getting worse.” Donald Trump is also at a higher risk due to his family history. Alzheimer’s disease is partly genetic, with 40% to 65% of people diagnosed with it carrying one specific gene. “Trump does face an elevated familial risk of late onset Alzheimer’s disease (AD) as this was a major contributor to his father’s death,” the authors of a 2020 medical journal article wrote. Mary Trump noted that her uncle has said he is a “super genius” because of his “great genes,” so it’s not surprising that people are raising questions about Donald Trump’s possible cognitive decline. “If intelligence is a genetically inherited state,… http://dlvr.it/T4Y2tz

[sporadicarbitergardener]

Patriarch Richard Barker, born in England circa 1621, was one of the original proprietors of Andover, arriving in the new world with his wife Joanna in the late 1630s. In fact, he might even be called the first settler of Andover. He was among a group from nearby Newbury and Ipswich who had petitioned for land in 1640. The first recorded business transaction in Andover, dated August 13, 1643, was Barker’s deed to land and livestock.

Barker originally owned 7 acres, then 10, and eventually, 300 contiguous acres, near “the Great Pond,” or Lake Cochichewick, in what is today North Andover. Barker was one of ten freeholders to establish the First Church of Andover in 1645. In August of 2000, Marjorie Wardwell Otten wrote in the Essex Genealogist (Vol. 20, No. 3), “There was hardly any town affair of importance for 50 years on record which does not bear Richard Barker’s name as party to or witness of, petitioner, etc.”

Between 1644 and 1663, Richard and Joanna had nine children. The families of three of their sons (John, William, and Ebenezer) and one daughter (Hannah) were directly affected by the witch hysteria that first arrived in Andover in May of 1692 with the arrest of Martha Carrier, and escalated in mid-July with ever-increasing accusations against Andover citizens. When all was said and done, more people were accused of witchcraft in Andover than in any other Essex County town.

On August 25, arrest warrants were issued for the Barkers’ second-oldest son, 47-year-old William Barker, as well as his 13-year-old niece Mary Barker (daughter of oldest Barker son John). William’s niece-by-marriage, 27-year-old Mary (Osgood) Marston, stepdaughter of youngest Barker daughter Hannah (who became Christopher Osgood���s second wife in 1680) was also named on the warrant. The complaint against all three was made by Samuel Martin of Andover and Moses Tyler of Boxford. Author Richard Hite, in his book In the Shadow of Salem: The Andover Witch Hunt of 1692, says, “This marked the beginning of the second phase of the Andover persecution.” All three were arrested by August 29, examined, and jailed in Salem.

The three Barker relations were accused of “woefully afflicting and abusing” three recently-afflicted local girls. One was Rose Foster, the teenage granddaughter of Rebecca Eames of Boxford (who had herself been accused of witchcraft earlier in August). Rose’s father was Andover constable Ephraim Foster. Another afflicted girl named in the complaint was Samuel Martin’s 16-year-old daughter Abigail. The third person, soon to be the principal accuser in Andover, was Moses Tyler’s 16-year-old stepdaughter Martha Sprague.

By this point, it was widely-thought that confessing was the only way to save one’s life. During his examination, William made a remarkable and elaborate confession, saying “he has been in the snare of the devil three years, that the devil first appeared to him like a black man and [he] perceived he had a cloven foot, that the devil demanded of him to give up himself body & soul unto him, which he promised to do…” William went on, in great detail, to explain that he had, indeed, tormented his three accusers, that he had signed the devil’s book in blood, and that the devil promised to pay all his debts. William said he previously attended a meeting of about 100 witches in Salem Village, where there was a sacrament of bread and wine, led by Reverend George Burroughs and the devil. (Burroughs had been hanged by this time, on August 19.) William even explained the devil’s intentions to “set up his own worship [and] abolish all the churches in the land.” William begged forgiveness for what he had done and promised to renounce the devil.

Thirteen-year-old Mary Barker also confessed to afflicting her three accusers, and said she had attended the witch meeting with her uncle, had been baptized by the devil in Five Mile Pond (known as Spofford Pond today), and she also accused Goody Johnson and Goody Faulkner of witchcraft (both were members of the extended Ingalls-Dane family), and added this colorful detail, “she has seen no appearance since but a fly which did speak to her, and bid her afflict these poor creatures which she did by pinching with, and clinching of her hands, for which she is sorry.”

Mary Marston’s confession was similar to that of her relatives – she confirmed that her uncle William Barker, her cousin Mary Barker, and she herself were witches, that she had afflicted her three accusers, and that she, too, had attended a witch meeting in Salem Village. When she was asked how long she had been in league with the devil, “she now saith that about the time when her mother died and she was overcome with melancholy, about three years since the black man appeared to her in the great room and told her she must serve and worship him. And so she did.”

On September 1, William’s son, 14-year-old William Barker Jr. was also arrested. He clearly had heard the details of the Barker confessions before him, as well as the news of the day, because his story was similar to his father and cousins, and he named recently-accused “witches.” Like his relatives , William Jr. was accused of tormenting Martha Sprague, Rose Foster, and Abigail Martin “which he did not deny but could not remember it.” He said he’d been a witch for six days and, “as he was going in the woods one evening to look after cows he saw the shape of a black dog which looked very fiercely upon him And he was much disturbed in his mind about it and could not sleep well that night.” He went on to describe a meeting with the devil, his own baptism in Five Mile Pond, and his mark in the devil’s book. He also named Mary Parker as a witch (she’d been accused of witchcraft in late August, along with four of her family members) as well as Samuel Wardwell, his wife Mary, and two of their daughters. The Wardwell family had been accused and arrested in late August and were examined on September 1, the same day as William Jr.

The last Barker family member to be caught up in the Andover witch hunt was Abigail (Wheeler) Barker who had married the third-oldest Barker son, Ebenezer, in 1686. On September 7, at the Andover meeting house, the infamous “touch test” took place. It was believed that an afflicted person would be “cured” if she or he touched a “witch.” The evil, it was thought, would flow back into its source. The touch test had been used in Salem examinations since May, but on this day, all of Andover’s accused and afflicted were gathered together at the meeting house. The accused “witches” were blindfolded and were led to the afflicted girls. If the afflictions ceased after touching one of the accused it was believed a witch had been identified. By the time the touch test was over, all of the accused women and men, at least seventeen people, had been confirmed as witches. Among them were Abigail Barker and Mary Osgood (wife of Richard Barker’s lifelong friend John Osgood).

Abigail Barker is particularly remembered for an account of the touch test in “an undated declaration prepared and signed by six suspects [one of whom was Abigail] just prior to the resumption of trials in January 1693,” according to author Richard Hite. All of the accused had been forced to participate, and all were found guilty. Said the remarkable declaration, “…we knowing ourselves altogether innocent of the crime, we were all exceedingly astonished and amazed, and consternated and affrighted even out of our reason; and our nearest and dearest relations, seeing us in that dreadful condition, and knowing our great danger, apprehended there was no other way to save our lives, as the case was then circumstanced, but by confessing ourselves to be such and such persons as the afflicted represented us to be, out of tenderness and pity, persuaded us to confess what we did confess.”

Although the date is uncertain, it is known that after his indictment, William Barker Sr. somehow escaped from jail and fled. As a penalty, his cattle were seized, and his brother John had to pay £2 10s to get them back. (William’s descendant George Barker has a theory that William may have hidden on an island in a nearby swamp, until it was safe to emerge after the trials.) Once the hysteria subsided, William Barker Sr. lived in Andover for the rest of his life, holding various jobs in town, including fence viewer and constable. He and his wife Mary Dix had thirteen children. William died in 1718 and is buried in the First Burial Ground in North Andover.

On October 3, 1692, John Barker and Francis Faulkner paid the bond for the release of three of the youngest accused: John’s daughter Mary Barker (aged 13), her cousin William Barker Jr. (aged 14), and Mary Lacy Jr. (aged 18). John Barker and John Osgood (whose wife Mary was also accused) later paid for the release of the rest of the jailed Andover children.

Mary Barker and William Barker Jr. were tried and acquitted by a jury in May of 1693. In 1704, the cousins, who had shared such a traumatic experience twelve years earlier, got married. The couple had eight children. They continued to live in Andover for the rest of their lives: William Jr. died in 1745 and Mary died in 1752. Both are buried in the First Burial Ground in North Andover.

Mary (Osgood) Marston and Abigail (Wheeler) Barker were both tried and acquitted in January of 1693. The former died in Andover in 1700, the latter in 1743. Abigail’s husband Ebenezer, who had waited until he was 35 years old to get married, lived to be 95, dying in 1746.

Patriarch Richard Barker died in March of 1693, and his good friend John Osgood died shortly thereafter.

Not everyone involved in the Salem witch trials is remembered in the same way. It’s important to highlight this quote from Marjorie Wardwell Otten in the Essex Genealogist, “Three men of Andover stand out in their efforts to defuse and to bring forth the falsities of the accusations: John Barker, John Osgood, and Reverend Francis Dane.” John Barker, who married Mary Stevens in 1670, was not only one of the voices of reason during the terrible events of 1692, and one of the men who paid to release the accused children, but he was a Deacon of the First Church, became a Sergeant in the militia in 1702, and a Captain in 1708. He died of smallpox in 1732, and is buried in the Mount Vernon Cemetery in Boxford.

What led to the accusations against so many members of such an upstanding and respected Andover family? Sometimes the reasons are hinted at in the records – family feuds, personality clashes, long-standing neighborly accusations. In the Barkers’ case, there is nothing in the records that explains it. Author Richard Hite speculates that there may have been some dispute between the accuser Moses Tyler and the accused William Barker Sr. Their farms were only a mile apart, possibly even abutting, so perhaps there had been previous altercations. We will likely never know.

There are two additional family connections to the witchcraft trials worth mentioning: Rebecca Eames of Boxford, and her son Daniel, were both accused and jailed. Daniel was married to Lydia Wheeler, sister of Abigail (Wheeler) Barker.

The other intriguing relationship involves Andover’s Samuel Wardwell (hanged on September 22). When Wardwell was examined after being accused of witchcraft, he spoke of a disappointment in love from twenty years earlier: “He said the reason of his discontent then was because he was in love with a maid named Barker who slighted his love.” The target of his affections was oldest Barker daughter Sarah, who chose to marry John Abbot instead of Wardwell.

Today, the Barkers remain a pillar of the North Andover community. Barker’s Farm was established in 1642, and has been run by 10 generations of the family, making it the oldest continuously owned and operated family farm in the United States. Barker’s Farmstand on Osgood Street in North Andover is one of our favorite places.

Special thanks to George and Dorothea Barker, and Karen, Laurie, Beth, Dianne and Sam, for their help and generosity researching their family history.

Barker’s Farmstand is at 1267 Osgood Street (Route 125) in North Andover.

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

Name: Janice K Jones

Nickname: Jan, Jones, JK (all from her family and friends)

Birthday: February 5th

Age: 20

Appearance: Janice has light olive skin, large almond shaped dark brown eyes, full natural pink orange lips, mid back long wavy dark brown hair, freckles across her cheeks, usually having rings on her fingers and red painted nails.

Clothes: She has a very limited wardrobe dedicated to her life style and job, tank tops, lose tee-shirts, basket ball shorts, jeans, etc. But her main outfits when she's free mostly at school when she's free from work is a air of dark jeans that have rips on them (obviously) black or brown combat or fishing boots, a black harness crop top or a white lose maybe too big tank top, and a worn down red biker jacket with a large sailing ship patch sewn in the back, and a matching red choker

Personalty: She's in the middle of very mature and childish, very tough and honestly intimidating to those who look at her first, but is literally the meme of "looks like they'll kill you but actually is a cinnamon roll". Don't try and say she won't fight, that girl will in fact beat you until you feel the pain in 50 years still if you mess with her family and friends more than if you mess with her personally. Is very kind and calm most of the time with an Scottish roar in her soul.

Schooling: First Year in College, Marine Bio/Science

Likes: Ocean, the night, fishing, MMA, playing pool, winning bets, coffee the black the better, comedy, action movies, astrology, bubble gum, summer, rock music, alternative rock, her family, the rain, stormy skies, burning candle while reading a good old book, wool socks, sweaters, girls, Maria, cats, fish, folklore, mermaid merchandise, classical music

Dislikes: Her bio-family, losing a game of pool, losing a catch, seeing her friends upset, seeing Maria cry, being called "damaged goods", being reminded of her bio-family, someone lusting after her dad, littering, really annoying people, being late, when seagulls get in the diner

Abilities: Great with kids, cooking, running, lifting things heavy, swim, knows Irish, French, and Spanish

Story: Janice was a youngest daughter of two older sisters and three older brothers from a somewhat middle class rich family who acted like they're better than others, Janice was just not that person. Her brothers got great jobs and her sisters got married easy to men from good families leaving little Janice the only one being pressured by her parents to get grades better than others, dress better than others, and snag an amazing man to marry.

When she was in the 4th grade she developed her first crush on a girl in her homeroom and felt it was right despite her parents claiming it wasn't every time an LGBT new story comes on TV. During this time she found out about her estrange uncle James who, from what she gathered when overhearing the arguments between her bio-dad and him, was basically forced out the family for different views. (this can be LGBT, religion, the fact he lives on a boat, etc. your choice yall) However, when he was there he and Janice bonded and even told her to do what makes her happy. So, she did. She went to the girl she had a crush on and confessed her feelings. It went as you imagine but worst as the girl harshly reject her but then told the class and teacher what happened who in turn her family found out. After dealing with verbal abuse from all and some physical abuse from her mother Janice ran away three nights after the confession and ran to the docs to where she knows her uncle was.

She joined his journey to Spain where she told him everything and he comforted her and allowed her to stay until he returns. However by the time the month in Spain was over the two grew very close and ached to imagine them separating, James knocked on his brother's door to return Janice but was shocked to find the family straight out reject her to her face (they were informed of the trip the night she ran away in case they tried to call the cops) and said they'll only take her back if she becomes their perfect daughter. This left James taking her back and deciding to be her father from now on.

With his best friend's help, they home-schooled the girl and taught her how to run a boat and stuff about the sea. They soon made set in America as their main home running a fishing dock and tackle shop connected to a sea food/sea themed diner with some fun lesson of marine facts of the "Jolly Rodgers", a name of the business. Currently Janice is going to college, crushing on a cute girl named Maria, living on her own personal smaller boat on the same doc at he tackle shop/diner as a normal worker and waiter while helping fishing on special days

Name Meanings: Janice - Hebrew for "Gift from God". And fun fact, her name Janice was gifted by the main character/child from Candle Cove which is my favorite Creepypasta/maybe real TV show Jones - English/Welsh for "son of John"

[study-coffee-chicago]

Who Would've Thought? A Government Teacher and an English Teacher (A Halstead Brothers + Upstead + Halstead Daughter! Imagine; Part of AU-gust)

A/N: Thank you for reading! Remember to like/reblog and comment! I'm also donating all the proceeds that from my buy me a coffee account to Save The Children to help the children of Afghanistan. Link to buy me a coffee.

Anyway, enjoy!

"Hey, I know you aren't a morning person," your dad said as he walked up to you sitting at the bar in the kitchen with a piece of paper in his hand.

"You're right, I'm not," you said.

"All I need is for you to look over the seating chart I made for the juniors."

"Make sure you didn't put people who have beef next to each other?" you asked.

"Exactly. And I figured, since it's your class, you'd be the perfect person to do it."

"And because I'm your daughter."

"That, too."

He set the paper in front of you. "Since I'm doing this for you, care to make me my coffee?" you asked

"The pumpkin spice one?" You nodded. "Kid, it's the first week of September. It's like 75 out (23.9 celsius). Fall's not even close. And, technically, it's still summer."

"Listen, Dunkin' came out with their pumpkin spice stuff in mid-August. And, you know the minute it hits September, I get in the fall mood."

"But you still won't go to a Bears game with me and your Uncle Will," he said.

"Dad, I don't understand football."

He pulled the K-Cup out and put it in the Keurig. "I told you that me and Uncle Will could teach you. And, you seem to understand it when you're at school football games."

"I just cheer when everyone else does. It's not that hard."

"Fair enough."

He pointed to the counter of the bar, so you looked down at the seating chart. You waved him back over to you as you heard the sputtering of the Keurig, telling you that all your coffee was almost in your tumbler.

You pointed to two seats. "These two girls have had beef since middle school, so throw them across the room from each other." Your dad grabbed a pen from his breast pocket and drew a line to put one of the girls on the opposite side of the room. "These two are dating, so unless you want them talking all the time, I suggest you at least move the guy to a different group." He drew another line on the seating chart. "And this guy dated these two girls, so you need to make sure that they're as far away from each other as possible."

"Which one is he dating now?" your dad asked as he drew more lines.

"Neither. He was dating both of them at the same time. Get why none of them can be by each other now?"

"Gotcha."

He took the seating chart from you and handed you your tumbler of coffee. "I don't drink it black," you said as you raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, believe me, I know, but I'll leave you to do that because I don't want to mess up your coffee to creamer ratio and have you get mad at me for it."

"Fair enough."

You sighed as you poured your creamer into your coffee because you thought about all the homework that was going to be piled on to your plate this year.

"What's wrong?" your dad asked.

"I'm gonna be drowning at the end of today."

"Can't argue with you there. But tell me if you think your homework load for APUSH (AP US History) and AP Gov (AP Government) is getting too much for one class. I'll talk to the teachers. And, you have me to help you with your government homework." He said the last part with a huge smile on his face.

"Dad," you groaned. "You've been waiting for me to be a junior forever now just so you could be my teacher."

"Yup, and you chose AP over me. How rude."

"Sorry, but college is expensive. It was only like 50 bucks a class when you went to college back in the olden days."

"Young lady, I am not old."

"Fine, you're vintage. Better?" He just glared at you while you finished stirring your coffee and then started making your breakfast. "But, at least Hail- Miss Upton doesn't give us a ton of homework because she knows we're drowning in homework already and have the SATs to worry about, so that's nice."

You were super thankful for your Honors English 11 teacher, who also taught AP Stats. She gave you at least half an hour each class period to do your homework since she knew that most of you had sports or after-school clubs or a part job to get to and didn't have all night to do homework. She was the one who also said to send her an email if you couldn't get the assignment done and she'd give you an extension. She said that your physical health and mental health were way more important than you finishing your homework.

Your dad was like that, too. Granted, he didn't give the students in his class a ton of homework to begin with, and he made the class fun...at least, that's what you heard from the kids who were juniors last year. The only time your dad really gave homework was when he gave out study guides to fill out. He'd give them out a week before the test and then after two days, he'd check that everyone got them done and go over them in class so that everyone had the right answers to study from. Mr. Jay Halstead also didn't give tests on a Monday because that was just cruel...and he knew that when he was in high school, he absolutely hated homework, so he didn't give a lot of it. And, he hated coming to school on a Monday when he forgot to study over the weekend, so he didn't give tests on Mondays.

"You're not going running this morning?" you asked as you cut up a banana to go into your oatmeal.

"No, I think I'll run with you guys after school today at practice."

Your dad was also the high school cross country coach. You weren't a fast runner by any means, but your best friend, Emma, had made it to regionals and was a great runner. And, your dad said that you either play a sport in high school or you get a job, so you joined the cross country team. In all honesty, you liked running for the endorphin rush it gave you after the run and just talking to some of your teammates while running or listening to music or podcasts while running. But, you weren't competitive, so that's probably why you weren't as fast as Emma, and your dad knew this. But, he was just glad you were being active in some way after school and that you enjoyed exercising even if you weren't the best or the fastest runner. He just wanted you to live a long and healthy life, and he knew starting to exercise in high school would help you build those healthy habits.

But, usually what your dad did in the morning was go to school at like six in the morning, so he'd be up at five, and then he'd utilize the weight room or the indoor track to workout. Then, he'd take a quick shower and get ready there, and be teaching by 7:30. Yeah, he was crazy for running that early.

"You know," you started, "Miss Upton likes to run. Maybe you should see if she'll co-coach with you? Or maybe she'll run with you in the morning?"

Jay shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. "Y/N, how many times do I have to tell you that Hailey and I are just friends. Nothing more."

"Says the man who lesson planned with her last week," you said, wiggling your eyebrows.

"Y/N, she's a coworker. I would've done that with anyone. It was just coffee. You read too much into things."

"Dad," you sighed. "You haven't dated in years."

"Yeah, since Abby dropped you off on my doorstep." He used to refer to Abby as your mom, but she wasn't around, so when you were around 14 years old, you just started referring to her as Abby. After all, you had never even met the woman, and she didn't want you, not even leaving an address on the note attached to your pajamas, so she didn't deserve the title of Mom.

"So, 17 years. You haven't dated in 17 years, Dad. You gotta get back out there. Even Uncle Will said you need to."

"You talked to your uncle about this?" he asked. "Oh, and put some egg whites in that oatmeal for some extra protein."

"What? You gonna make us lift weights today at cross country practice?"

He shrugged. "You never know. Now, no more talking to Uncle Will about my love life."

"There's not even anything to talk about. But, he does think you and Miss Upton would look cute together."

You added some egg whites to your oatmeal and put it back in the microwave for an extra minute.

"This has been going on for way too long now, Y/N. We're not gonna date. We're just friends and coworkers. Just drop it."

You put your hands up in mock surrender.

Ever since freshman year when you had Miss Upton for creative writing (yes, she taught one section of AP stats, one section of creative writing, and she also taught Honors English 11 and regular English 11 for the rest of her sections), you knew that her and your dad would be a great match. So, you confided in Emma and she agreed. Ever since then, you hadn't really let the topic go.

"Fine," you groaned...even though you and your dad both knew that the topic would not be dropped in the slightest.

"Now, do you want me to drive you, or do you want to drive yourself?"

Usually, since he left before you, you'd just drive yourself to school since you were 17 and had been driving for a year now. But, during the first week of school, your dad didn't do his morning workouts, so he always gave you the option if you wanted to ride to school with him.

You pursed your lips. "Fine. I'll ride with you, just cause it'll save me gas."

Jay laughed. "You're not even the one who pays for your gas."

He was right. He was the one who paid for your gas because you had always studied hard...and you played a sport, so you didn't have time for a part-time job. Because of this, Jay decided he'd pay for your gas. But, you did have to work a part-time job in the summer.

"Fine. It prolongs the time before I have to go to the gas station. How's that?" you asked.

"Miss Upton would be proud of how you worded that."

"Maybe you should tell her that, Dad. It'd be a great conversation starter."

***

"So," Emma began as you were warming up for your run after the school day ended, "how'd the chat with your dad go?"

You sighed while jogging. "I don't think it's ever gonna happen. He's too damn stubborn to ask her out and he claims that they're just friends and coworkers. I hate it. They'd be so damn cute together."

"I know," Emma agreed. "You know, I overheard her in the hallway between classes saying that she was going to chaperone the homecoming dance. Maybe your dad could get in on that and that's how they could talk more?" she suggested.

"Emma, that's a great idea, but I really don't want my dad at homecoming. That is awkward as hell."

Emma laughed. "Sorry, didn't think about that."

"Hustle up!" your dad yelled. "Time to stretch!"

You started your normal stretching routine before your dad started to give his normal beginning of the school year speech. "Alright, I need all of you to listen up. I don't want anybody talking over me, you hear me?" You all nodded. "Okay, good. So, I know that some of you have heard horror stories about the old cross country coach who said that if you miss a practice, then you miss a meet...unless it was for being sick." Most of you nodded.

Before your dad started coaching and the other cross country coach retired, a lot of the students hated the previous coach's coaching style. His coaching style was run more to get better at running...which sounded good in theory. But, this didn't actually work. You see, what would end up happening was that he'd make the runs longer and longer. He'd even make the athletes do a long run on Saturday and then a short run (which to him was three miles) on Sunday. If an athlete didn't send him the screenshots from apps like map my run, then they wouldn't be able to race in the next meet. This obviously was a recipe for overtraining and injuries. You heard that one girl even hurt her IT band from running so much! So, it was no surprise that most people hated the coach and so many parents complained, so he stepped down, and then your dad came in to coach.

"That's not how I coach," your dad continued. "School and your grades are really important. So is sleep. I don't want you guys not getting sleep or not getting to spend time with friends or not have other social interactions because you have to practice for two hours and then go home and do homework and get to bed late. I don't want you guys to be sleep-deprived zombies." Most of you laughed at that. "With that being said, if you're overwhelmed and feel like there's not enough time in a day, just come talk to me and we'll figure it out. Whether that's only coming to practice for an hour or taking a few days off to study for an upcoming test or taking time off for a family emergency, we'll figure out what to do." Everyone nodded. "Alright everybody, let's go run the big loop. Keep track of your split times."

***

You were walking inside with Emma to go grab your stuff from your locker after you had finished practice. Perks of having your dad be a teacher? You and your friend could leave your stuff inside instead of bringing it outside with you.

"Just meet me in my room when you're done, Y/N," your dad told you. "Have a good night, Emma."

"You too, Mr. Halstead," she replied.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Jay when it's not school or practice hours?" Jay smiled and then walked down the hall to his classroom to retrieve the stuff he had brought with him for the day...with his shirt sticky from sweat since he had run with you guys today.

He walked out of his classroom with his backpack and gym bag, to come face to face with Miss Hailey Upton walking out of her classroom as well.

"Run with the team today, Jay?" she asked.

"Yeah, you know, first week of school, kind of hard to get my early morning runs in when there's so much to do on the classroom side," he answered.

"Understandable. I've been doing mine after I lesson plan and before dinner. Hopefully, I'll be back to nightly runs soon before it starts getting dark earlier and earlier."

"But, when it gets too dark, then you'll be running in the mornings soon...and then it'll be cold," Jay pointed out.

"There's this thing called a treadmill, Jay. I utilize that in the winter."

"That shows that you're an English teacher: you use big words."

Hailey rolled her eyes. "I see you reading books during your lunch period. I know you know big words, you just prefer not to use them."

"Yeah, because I want the kids to think I'm a cool teacher...not a snob."

"I am not a snob!" Hailey jokingly argued.

"I'm kidding, Hailey! I'm kidding! And, I know you lesson plan and grade on your lunch break, too instead of going to the teacher's lounge."

"Spying on me now, huh?"

"Our rooms are right across from each other and we have the same lunch period, what else am I supposed to do?" he laughed.

Hailey sighed dramatically. "Oh, I guess. Tell you what: come to my room during our lunch period and I can give you some good book recommendations."

"I get enough book recommendations from my daughter, thank you very much. But, I guess I can always use more."

"So, see you during tomorrow's lunch period?"

"See you then. Have a good night, Hailey."

"You, too. Tell Y/N I say hi and not to work too hard on all her homework."

Then, they walked down the hallway and Jay walked back towards where you were still chatting with Emma. All the while, he was thanking God that you weren't there during that conversation between him and Hailey because he wouldn't hear the end of it. But, he was also wondering what the hell he'd just gotten into.

***

"You will not believe what I just saw!" Emma whispered to you the next day in your AP gov class.

"What?" you whispered back.

She had forgotten her laptop in her locker and had to go get it. Which, the route to her locker from the classroom you were currently in went right past your dad and Hailey's classrooms.

"Your dad and Miss Upton are in her classroom eating lunch together."

Your eyes practically bulged out of your head. "No way!"

You received a glare from the teacher and were quiet. But, you'd be sure to ask your dad about this when you went home tonight.

***

"Uncle Will's coming over for dinner in an hour," your dad told you when you got inside your house after practice. You had decided to drive yourself to school today instead of riding with him. "How much homework do you have?"

"Uh..." you blanched and set down your backpack and unzipped it. Then, you grabbed your planner and flipped it open, laying it out on the kitchen table. "I have an AP stats worksheet that's due tomorrow, I have to read half a chapter in my AP bio textbook by Monday, I have to read a full chapter of my AP gov textbook by Tuesday, and I have an APUSH assignment due tomorrow. Oh, and I should probably read a chapter of the book I chose to read for my English class plus I have to annotate a few paragraphs of crappy 16th-century literature by tomorrow, too."

"Christ," your dad said. "So, what do you have to do tonight?"

"AP stats worksheet, APUSH assignment, and I have to annotate for English. I could always not read the chapter in the book I chose to read if I don't want to."

"Do you want me to just tell Uncle Will to come over this weekend?" he asked.

Jay know knew you absolutely loved his brother and that you were always excited to tell him about your day and how school was going. It had always been this way because, when Jay found you on his doorstep, he was 22, and had just started undergrad and was working on his teaching degree. Because of this, when Will wasn't studying in his last two years of med school and later working in a hospital as a new resident, he was your go-to babysitter. And you absolutely loved when he came over...despite not being able to remember much because you were so young. Apparently, you had been particularly fascinated by Will's red hair and would pull on it every chance you got. But, he'd let you play with it until it really started to hurt him because you were his favorite (and only) niece and he knew he'd do anything for you. This came in handy as you got older because you realized you had him wrapped around your finger and would always ask him for homework help. Or, if your dad wouldn't give you spending money, you'd go straight to your Uncle Will, and usually, he'd give you some.

"No," you answered. "A doctor needs to know stats, right?"

"I think so," your dad answered. "Why? Are you struggling already? Do you need to go into the regular stats class instead of the advanced one?"

You laughed at your dad's concern. "No, I'm fine. Just figured he'd be able to check it for me to make sure I did everything right."

"Oh, good. And, I'm pretty sure he can do that. Now, go take a shower so you can get started on your homework before he gets here and so I can start on dinner."

***

"Guess what?" you asked as all three of you twirled your spaghetti onto your forks at the dinner table an hour later.

"Chicken butt," Will said.

Jay rolled his eyes. "I swear, I wonder if Mom and Dad were lying when they said that you were older. Maybe I'm the older one and they just lied to us because you sure do act like the younger brother."

"Relax, Jay. Just because I'm more fun than you and Y/N likes me better, does not mean that I'm immature."

"Anyway," you said, wanting to tell Will what you had found out earlier today, "do you want to know what I have to say or not?"

"Go ahead," Will said.

"Okay, so today during AP gov, Emma had to back to her locker to grab her laptop. And she went right by Dad and Miss Upton's classrooms." You paused as you looked over at your dad and saw his eyes slightly widen and then go back to normal. "And they were eating lunch together in her classroom!"

"Awe," Will cooed. "My little brother's back on the market. Good for you, man." Then, he turned to you. "Upton's the short, blonde English teacher you've been trying to set him up with for years now, right?"

"He's not supposed to know about the set-up part!" you hissed.

"Oh, sorry. Jay, forget I said that."

"Y/N, I already you've been trying to set us up," your dad laughed. "It's been kind of obvious."

"Now that that's settled," Will started, "how'd it go? What did you two talk about? And are you having lunch together tomorrow?"

"You two are terrible, you know that?"

"Oh, we know," Will said. "But, you can't ground me, so I can be as terrible as I want."

Jay laughed. "She won't get grounded for that, Will. She might get grounded if she keeps procrastinating her stats homework, though."

"Need help, kiddo?" Will asked. "I have to read stats for things like new drugs and stuff, so I'm good at that. Don't know if I can help you with actually solving the problem because it's been ages since I've done that, but I can try."

"No, thanks, though. I just took a long shower so I have to get it done after dinner. I understand it all, though."

"Good, you can always come to me if you need help with it, though," Will offered. "Or, since it's Miss Upton--" He looked directly at Jay when he said Miss Upton and then turned his attention back to you. "--who's your stats teacher, you can always ask her. But, be sure to drag your dad along with you."

"Will!"

***

Two weeks later

"Might want to tell them to drink a ton of water after this, Jay, because it's so hot," Hailey Upton said as she walked up to Jay Halstead--and Coach Halstead for the next few hours--at an away cross country meet on a Wednesday afternoon in mid-September. "Or better yet, get them some Gatorade."

"Hailey?" Jay asked as he turned around, getting his stopwatch ready. "What are you doing here? And, I'd get them Gatorade if I could. I kinda forgot to pick it up last night."

"I'm here because some kids asked me to come to their meet. And, I always try to come to those things if kids ask me."

Jay cocked an eyebrow. "Would two of those kids be my daughter and her best friend?"

"Among others."

He looked down at the rolling cooler she had brought. "What's with the cooler?"

"Well, you may not have had time to pick up Gatorade, but I did. So, there's one in there for each kid plus the coach...and me of course."

"How'd you know Gatorade would help?" Jay asked. "Other than logic of course."

Hailey laughed. "I've run a few marathons in my life, Jay. I know all about proper hydration and how important it is to refuel after a hot run."

At this, Jay raised his eyebrows. He knew that she ran, but she didn't know that she ran marathons. "Oh, wow. Which ones?"

"You know, the Chicago marathon obviously. Always wanted to do like Boston or someplace, but you have to qualify for those, you can't just go and sign up like here in Chicago. Oh, and I've always wanted to do a Disney marathon. I think it'd be cool, you know? Run through Disney World, maybe hop on some rides during the race."

Jay smiled. "That actually does sound really fun."

The announcer said that it was ten minutes until it was time to race.

"I gotta get to the first mile marker," Jay said.

"Okay, where's our tent? I'll go put this cooler under it."

Jay told Hailey where the tent was and was about to leave when she stopped him.

"Where do I get the maps? I can go to the second mile marker to help out with times in case you can't get there fast enough," she suggested.

"That'd, uh, that'd actually be great, Hailey. Thank you. And, you just get the maps from the table right over there," Jay answered and pointed to a table about 200 meters away.

"Awesome, thanks. See you after the race, Coach," Hailey joked.

Jay nodded and started to jog off toward the first mile marker. But, all the while he wondered what the hell this woman was doing to him. Because he felt his cheeks heating up in a blush as he jogged off.

And, as for Hailey, well she was watching as Jay jogged away and loved the way he ran with perfect form and how his biceps flexed just enough that she could see the muscles slightly bulge.

She laughed to herself. If they ever went running together, she'd have to tell him to loosen up because you weren't supposed to run with your arms as taut as his were; he was wasting energy.

But, for now, she just made her way over to the tent and left the cooler and then went to get a map and start off toward the second mile marker to help out a fellow teacher...well, maybe he was starting to be more than just a fellow teacher. Neither of them really knew at this point. But, Hailey liked the thrill of it all. She felt like she was in high school again...a high school student, not a high school teacher.

***

You panted and winced as you crossed the finish line. Shit, your shin splints were really acting up this time, and God, it was so hot out and you felt nauseous and even had to walk during some points of the race. We'll see what your dad had to say about that.

Wait, was that Miss Upton coming up to you?

It is! She actually came!

"Y/N, are you okay? I saw you walking," she said worriedly while your dad jogged over since you were the last one on your team to finish.

"You good, kid?" your dad asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. My shin splints just hurt really bad and I think the heat's making me feel sick."

"Okay, well, I have to go watch the boys and make sure they're ready. Hailey, can you, uh, help Y/N? The medical tent's across from here. Maybe make sure she gets under our team tent without puking and get her something to drink?"

"I can do that, Jay, don't worry."

Emma walked up to you. "Good job!" she exclaimed.

"Girl, I didn't even run as fast as you! You flew through there. But, it's hot as hell!" you said.

"It is really hot. You gonna watch the guys' race?"

"No, Dad told me to sit under our tent in the shade. Gotta get some ice for my shins first, though."

"Shin splints acting up?"

"Yeah."

Then, you, Miss Upton, and Emma walked over to the medical tent where you got bags of ice wrapped around your shins.

***

"I'll run to Mcdonald's and get you ice, too," your dad said before you got in your separate cars back at school after the meet. "What do you want?"

"Uh, a ten-piece nugget--don't forget the honey mustard--a medium fry, and a medium lemonade," you said as your dad typed it into the notes app of his phone. "Thanks."

"I'll see you at home. Drive careful."

"See you in like half an hour."

Then you drove home and decided to start on some homework while still in your sweaty cross country uniform.

When your dad got home, you gobbled down your food because damn, you were hungry after that mentally taxing race. Then, you and your dad filled the bathtub up with ice and cold water.

Time for hell...aka an ice bath. At this point, you'd do anything to prevent your shin splints from getting bad. At least the old coach wasn't coaching because, from all the horror stories you heard, it'd be worse for your shins if he was coaching and not your dad.

After you changed into a pair of spandex shorts and a long-sleeved running shirt and a hoodie, you lowered yourself into the freezing and icy water. You set your phone timer for eight minutes and braved the cold for that long.

Then, after that, you drained the bathtub and took a very hot shower. But, as you were in there, you started feeling nauseous again. You crouched down and actually ended up throwing up a bit in the shower. It was nothing major, you just figured it was from eating too fast. But, you were still really tired.

And this is what you told your dad when you got out of the shower.

"But, I still have homework," you said defeatedly. "I kinda wanna just go to sleep now. It's already 7:00 and I have at least two to four hours of homework to do."

Jay sighed. He never wanted to play this game, but he wasn't going to let you run on not enough sleep tomorrow when you weren't even feeling your best.

"What classes?" he asked.

"Uh, I have to get APUSH done which will take me like at least two hours, and then I have English and stats homework," you answered.

Jay sighed. "I'll give Hailey a call and explain the situation and see if she'll give you an extension on the English and stats homework."

Your eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes, now go grab some water and get started on your APUSH homework. And.. it will only be a one day extension."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best Dad ever!"

Then, you grabbed your water and went back upstairs to your room.

But, all you could think about was that your dad and Miss Upton were talking over the phone outside of school. Maybe they were becoming more than just co-workers.

Jay dialed Hailey's phone number and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Jay?" she asked when she answered.

"Hi, Hailey. Yeah, it's Jay. Listen I have a huge favor to ask you," he said.

"What is it?"

"So Y/N puked a bit in the shower, probably because of the amount of sodium in those damn chicken nuggets she wanted, and then she took an ice bath and then a hot shower, so the quick and significant temperature change probably played a role. Anyway, how it happened isn't the point. It's just that she's really tired and she has AP US history homework that she has to finish. So, would it be okay if you gave her a one day extension on her English homework and her stats homework? If not, I completely understand because you can't just make exceptions because she's a teacher's kid and--"

"Jay, relax," Hailey laughed. "Yes, I'll give her the extensions. What is it that you always tell your team? Their physical and mental health comes first?"

Jay chuckled and then took a sip of his beer. "Yeah, that's about right. And, thank you. Y/N will greatly appreciate that."

"No problem. But, I also have a favor to ask you."

Jay cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"So, we're short on chaperones for the homecoming dance and I was wondering if maybe you could chaperone? And, I figured that since you have a kid and would probably want to be there for her pictures before the dance, you don't have to help us set up. Maybe just chaperone and then help us tear down? If not just chap--"

"Hailey, of course, I'll help out. Now, Y/N, she might not be happy that I'll be chaperoning her school dance, but I'll be there. Count me in."

***

2 weeks later, 3 days before homecoming dance

"Okay, I know I'm just your English teacher," Miss Upton started at the beginning of class that day, "but I still care about your guys' safety. So, please, please, please do not drive drunk or buzzed. Call your parents to pick you up. I can absolutely promise you that they'd be happier that you called them to pick you up than you trying to drive home and getting into a car accident."

"What if my parents will be mad at me for drinking anyway?" one kid asked.

"So, if that's the case, you can always call me and I will come pick you up from wherever you're at. I can lose a few hours of sleep to make sure that you guys are home safe." She started writing numbers on the whiteboard. "Right here is my cell phone number, if you think you'll need it, write it down or make it a contact in your phone. Again, I'd rather not come to school on Monday and learn that one of you is in the hospital because of something that could have been prevented."

You pulled out your phone, you didn't think that you'd need Miss Upton's number, but you figured you'd put it in just in case since two girls from your AP gov class asked you to be the DD for a party. You were kind of friends with them, like you studied for tests together, but that was it. But, you had debated it because it was a party after homecoming and you had never been to a party before...let alone one after a dance.

"Oh, Miss Upton," you said as you put your phone face down on your desk.

"Yes, Y/N?" she asked.

"What color dress are you wearing when you're chaperoning the dance?"

"I haven't really thought it much." She furrowed her eyebrows as she wondered why you were asking this question. "But, probably red. Why?"

"Just wondering."

And now, you just needed to make sure that your dad had a red tie and that he actually wore it when he was chaperoning the dance.

***

3 days later, homecoming

"What about this?" your dad asked as he walked out of his room in dress pants, a white shirt, a navy blue tie, and a sport coat.

You were already in your dress and had gotten your hair and nails done earlier in the day, so now you were just waiting to take some pictures with Emma and then actually go to the dance.

"Hmm, I don't know. The shirt and tie are kind of what you wear to work everyday, so I think you need something different. Maybe a brighter tie or something," you said and then walked into his room and opened his closet.

You sifted through the closet until you found what you were looking for: a black shirt and a red tie.

"I think you should wear these," you said and laid the two pieces of clothing on his bed.

"What? Why? You know I never wear red. That tie has been hung up in my closet since you were probably ten," he argued.

"That's the point, Dad! You need to get out of your comfort zone and wear something besides what you wear to school...or in your case, work. It's a dance, so you have to wear something fancy."

Jay groaned. He knew he wasn't going to be able to win this argument.

"Fine. I'll change."

"Good."

Then, you walked out of his room.

Your plan had worked.

***

"Mr. Halstead," Hailey said as she saw Jay walk onto the dance floor a few hours later when all the lights were off and the cleared-out cafeteria became full of students dancing.

"Miss Upton," he greeted. She laughed. "What?"

"It's nothing," Hailey said quickly. "It's just that, well your tie..." she trailed off while his eyes raked down her body in the slightly tight (but not too tight because they were at a school function) spaghetti strap bright red dress that she was wearing. "Let's just say I now know why Y/N asked me what color dress I was wearing."

Jay groaned and shook his head. "My daughter. Always...you know, I don't know what her game is at this point, but I should've suspected something when she told me to go change."

But damn, Jay thought, she does look good in red.

God, Hailey thought, I wish he'd wear those kind of black shirts to work more often.

***

It was now after the dance and you and your dad had arrived back at home at around the same time.

"You're a little devil, you know that?" he asked when you were both inside.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I plead the fifth," you replied.

"Very funny. You can't do that."

"Yes, I can. You should know this, Dad, you teach government."

"You can plead the fifth in court, but you cannot do it with your dad. So, I know that you asked Hailey what color dress she was wearing just so my tie could match it."

"Oooh, so we're calling her Hailey and not Miss Upton now. I'd say that's a step up. What did you two talk about at the dance? Because I know for a fact that you didn't ask her to slow dance."

"And you didn't slow dance with anyone either, so we're even, kid," Jay retorted.

You rolled your eyes. "I'm gonna go take a shower. Get this hair out."

"Okay." Your dad yawned. "I'm gonna get to bed. Now I know why you sleep until noon the day after dances: they're exhausting."

"Tell me about it. Goodnight. Send Miss Upton-- well, Hailey now-- a text to make sure she got home safe!"

You didn't even wait for your dad's witty reply before you bounded up the stairs and into your bathroom.

But, you didn't actually end up taking a shower. You ran the shower while you washed off your makeup and re-did it into something more party-appropriate and then took down your hair and put it up into a ponytail.

After half an hour, you turned off the shower and wrapped your still dry body in a towel after you had stripped off your dress. You peeked out of the bathroom to see that your dad's bedroom door was closed, which meant that he was asleep.

Then, you tiptoed into your room and changed your clothes.

You pulled out your phone to tell the girls to park a few houses down so your dad didn't hear the car pull in the driveway or see the headlights.

Your plan of going to your very first high school party was a go.

***

It had been two hours since you had snuck out and it was nearing two in the morning. And, you weren't feeling too hot. You had decided not to drink because you were the DD out of you and the two girls from class. And, you had kept the car keys away from them so that they couldn't do anything stupid...and so you could keep them safe. You hadn't drank anything, but you had eaten the fruit off of the top of the spiked punch bowl and, for whatever reason, you were starting to feel lighter and happier.

Shit.

Your dad had warned that fruit soaks up alcohol. How could you have been so stupid to forget that? He was going to kill you! There's no way you could call him to pick you up, absolutely no way!

Somehow, you found your friends, they were by the makeshift bar, no shock there because you knew the only reason they were there was to get drunk. Note to self: if people you only know because of one class ask you to come to a party for the sole purpose of being the DD, do not go.

Luckily for you, one of the girls' boyfriends played on the football team and wasn't going to risk his season just for one party. So, you told him that you needed to leave and that you were the DD and asked if he could get the two girls home safely. He agreed and you passed off the car keys to him.

Then you walked outside, the chilly mid-October night air helping to slow the nervousness coursing through your veins about facing your dad.

You pulled out your phone and hit the contact you had made in class a few days ago.

"Hello? This is Hailey," you heard Hailey's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Miss Upton, it's Y/N Halstead," you said.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" You heard shuffling on the end of the line and assumed that Miss Upton was standing up from somewhere.

"I mean, I'm kinda woozy I guess. But, I snuck out and my dad doesn't know where I am." You hung your head. You couldn't believe you had been so stupid.

"And you had a drink so you can't drive home?" she finished.

"Yeah." She didn't need to know the details. All she needed to know was that you needed help getting home.

"Okay, send me your location and I'll be there soon, okay? Is it safe for you? Do you need me to stay on the phone or call the cops?"

"No, no, I'm perfectly fine. Just need someone to drive me home."

"Okay good. Send me that location and I'll be there soon."

Then, she told you the model of her car and the color so you could spot her easily. Once you were off the phone, you sent her your location and she replied with a thumbs up, telling you that she got it.

Your phone rang. You thought it was Miss Upton, but then you looked down and saw it was your dad.

Double shit.

***

"Please don't tell my dad," you said when you pulled up to your driveway half an hour later.

"Y/N, I have--"

But, she was saved from telling you that she needed to tell your dad when the front door flung open.

Your dad must've seen the headlights.

"Go," Miss Upton said. "You're only prolonging the inevitable if you stay in here."

You sighed. "Will you walk me up?"

"Sure."

So, both you and Miss Upton exited the car.

The minute your dad saw you, he ran down the steps to you.

"Young lady!" he yelled. "Where were you? Do you know how worried I was? You could've gotten seriously hurt!" He paused. "Get over here!"

You knew to listen to him when he pulled out the dad voice.

He put two fingers underneath your chin and tipped your head up. "Breathe. Now."

It was faint, but it was there, your dad smelt stale vodka on your breath...mixed with a citrusy scent and teeth that hadn't been brushed since the previous morning.

He sighed and clenched his teeth. Then, he put his hands down and he finally spotted Hailey. "Hailey, what are you doing here?" he asked, unclenching his jaw.

"I always tell my students that they can call me if they need to get picked up from parties and can't drive. So far, Y/N's the only one who has utilized that."

"Well, thank you. I'm sorry she had to make you come out at this time of night." He turned back to you. "As for you, go inside. Not only did you drink, but you went to a party, too. We'll talk in a few minutes."

You hung your head and made your way inside and sat down on the couch in the living room.

Jay walked up to Hailey. "I'm really sorry about her. But, thank you for getting her home safe. How far did you have to drive? I can give you gas money for all of this on Monday."

"Jay, it's fine. I make this offer for homecoming and prom every year. You don't have to pay me. I just wanna make sure all the kids get home safe, that's all."

"At least let me buy you coffee or something. You brought my little girl home safe when I didn't even know where she was. I think that warrants some type of reward."

"If you want to repay me that bad," Hailey began, "I'm lesson planning and grading at Starbucks tomorrow. I guess you can buy me a coffee."

"Done. Text me the time and I'll be there."

"Will do."

"Now, excuse me, but I have to go deal with my daughter."

"Goodnight, Jay."

"Night, Hailey."

Then, she drove off and back to her house while Jay walked up his front steps and wondered what he was going to say to you.

"Look at me," your dad demanded when he made his way into the living room.

You looked up. "I'm so--"

"No," your dad said quickly, cutting you off. "You don't talk. You only listen. Do you understand me?" You nodded. "Good. Do you know how worried sick I was when I couldn't find you inside? I was beside myself, Y/N. I didn't know where you were, I didn't know if you were hurt. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you. What you did was stupid and reckless and please do not ever, ever do that again. Never do that again. Do you hear me?"

"Yes," you answered.

"Good."

You took a deep breath before you asked your next question. "Am I in trouble?"

Your dad sighed and sat down next to you. "As much as I want to ground you, no you are not in trouble. I'm just so relieved that you're home safe. And, you made the right decision by not driving and calling someone to pick you up...even if it wasn't me."

"Do you want an explanation as to why I went?" you asked.

"No, God no. I may look calm on the outside, but on the inside, I'm still pissed."

"Can I ask how you knew I snuck out?"

"You forgot to leave your fan on and I knew it was way too quiet in your room."

The doorbell rang.

"Shoot, I forgot to tell your uncle that you're home safe. But, you better go up to bed before me and him talk and think of a punishment for you."

"So you're still mad?" you asked.

"A little mad, but mostly I'm just relieved and disappointed. I thought you knew better." You hung your head. "Now, go to bed."

"Okay." You stood up. "Goodnight, I love you." You gave him a hug.

He gave you a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, too, kid. Now, get to bed."

You went upstairs, but instead of going all the way to your room, you sat down on the landing, intent on listening to your dad's and your uncle's conversation about you.

"Hey, she's home. It's all good," Jay said as he answered the door and then motioned for his brother to come inside.

"Oh, thank God. Where was she?" Will asked as they made their way to the living room and sat down on different couches, facing each other.

"Apparently she went to a party. I know she drank because I smelled alcohol on her breath. It was just a bit, but it was there."

"If you want, we can bring her to Med and I can do a tox screen to see the level of alcohol in her system," Will suggested.

"You know, that's not a bad idea actually."

Jay quickly stood up, but Will stopped him. "I'm kidding, man! Don't do that! She was still lucid when she came home, right?"

"Yeah, she was walking and talking normally."

"Okay, then sit your ass back down and don't drag your daughter to Med. Did you ground her?"

"No, I actually didn't."

"There's a shock. You always said you'd ground your kid if they snuck out. Oh, how things changed."

"I was just so relieved," Jay said and sat back down. "When Hailey pulled in the driveway and Y/N got out of her car--"

"Wait," Will started, cutting Jay off, "Hailey picked her up? Hailey Upton?"

"Yeah," Jay answered. "Apparently she'll give out her phone number to the kids in case they need to get home safe from somewhere after prom and homecoming. And, Y/N called her and not me."

"I wouldn't call you either," Will joked. "You'd probably scream at her in front of everyone at the party."

"I would not!" Will cocked his head to the side. "Okay, maybe, but that's beside the point. All that matters is that Y/N had the wherewithal to know that she couldn't drive and she solved that problem. God, Will, the amount of adrenaline that left my body when I saw her get out of that car was astronomical."

"I bet. So, do you know where she went?"

"I just know it was some party. She got lectured when she got home, don't worry about that." Jay put his head in his hands.

"What? What's wrong, Jay?"

"Anything could've happened to her, Will, and I wouldn't have been there to protect her. I wouldn't have been able to protect my own kid."

"Jay, you can't blame yourself. Hell, most teenagers do this stuff."

"I know, I know. It's just that her grades have been slipping slightly and I'm wondering if I should have her transfer schools." Your eyes widened as you listened to that part of the conversation. "Maybe, having her dad teach at the same school isn't helping her. She went to a party, Will. Maybe it's the kids she's meeting in class, maybe being at another school would be better for her."

"Jay, you can't make a decision like that based on one stupid decision the kid did." He knew his brother was torn up about this, so he changed the subject. "What'd Hailey say?"

"I offered to pay for her gas, but she shut me down."

"Anything else?"

Jay sighed. He knew his brother wouldn't let up. "We're going out for coffee tomorrow to grade. She said I can repay her by buying her coffee there."

"Aw, you're going on a date."

"It is not a date! It's just two coworkers working in a coffee shop together...in their off time."

"Sure, keep telling yourself that."

A few minutes later, the conversation was over and Jay walked Will out, so you made your way to your room.

One thing was for sure: you were not giving your dad another opportunity to even think about you switching schools.

It was time to grind...starting tomorrow because you desperately needed to sleep right now.

***

You woke up around 11:00 the next day, which was Sunday. Then you got up and went downstairs to eat some breakfast.

"Morning," your dad said. "I made breakfast sandwiches. There's two in the fridge if you want one...or both."

"Thanks," you said. You wanted to ask if he was still mad, but you didn't really want to have an argument right when you woke up.

But, being around teenagers all day must've given your dad a sixth sense.

"Listen, kid, I'm not mad at you if that's what you're worried about. You just... you scared me last night. If something happened to you because I couldn't protect you-- because, as a parent, it is my first responsibility to keep you safe. Anyway, if I couldn't keep you safe because I didn't know where you were, I would never be able to forgive myself."

"Can I tell you why--"

"No. As a teacher at the school, the less I know the better. I really don't want to have to tell the administration and then get kids suspended from their sports for drinking. So, all I know is that you snuck out, went to a party, and drank. I don't wanna know who else was there or whose house it was at."

"But, I--"

"Y/N, end of discussion. Now, I have to go and meet Hail-- Miss Upton, for coffee since she so graciously picked you up when you made a bad decision last night. Don't do anything stupid when I'm gone or else you will be in trouble, got it?"

"Yeah, I got it. I'm just gonna study for the SATs."

"Good idea. Be back later. I love you."

"Love you, too, Dad."

***

"...And whatever she's having," Jay said and slid over so that the barista could input Hailey's order.

"Just a grande vanilla sweet cream cold brew, please," Hailey ordered.

Jay paid and then he and Hailey waited by the other side of the counter for their drinks to be ready.

Jay laughed. "You and my daughter have the same taste. You both like vanilla sweet cream cold brews."

"I'm shocked you let her get that with the amount of caffeine in cold brew," she said.

"Eh, it's just like once a week. On my rest day when I don't have to be at school before dawn to run, I'll grab her and I something from Starbucks, and then she'll just stop by my room to get it before school starts."

"That's nice of you," Hailey mused.

"Yeah, but nothing compared to Miss I have coffee in my room for the kids and you can drink as much as you want Upton."

"If you've ever heard kids talk about how little sleep they get like I do since I teach AP classes, then you'd get why I do that, Halstead. I hear kids saying that they normally only get four hours of sleep a night because they're up so late doing homework. While I don't think they should become dependent on caffeine at such a young age and need to be getting a lot more sleep than that, they need to stay awake during school. That's also probably the reason why you and I don't give a lot of homework."

"And it's ridiculous how early school starts anyway," Jay said and grabbed their drinks off the counter.

"I'll drink to that," Hailey laughed and then poked her straw in her cold brew and took a sip.

Once they took their seats, they talked a little before starting to grade and lesson plan.

"Not to pry or anything," Hailey began, "but did you ground Y/N? You don't have to answer it if you don't want to, I'm not her parent, so I know I'm not the least bit entitled to that information."

"Well, you did pick her up when she needed help, so I'd say you are entitled to that information," Jay chuckled. "But, to answer your question, no I didn't ground her just because I was so relieved that she was home. The amount of adrenaline and cortisol that dropped in my body when I saw her get out of your car was amazing, Hailey. Thank you so much." He paused and took a sip of his cappuccino. "But, we did have a talk about how she shouldn't be doing that because it's dangerous and if something happened to her, that I wouldn't be able to help her and since I'm her parent, my first job is to keep her safe. She does know that if she sneaks out or goes to a party again, I will be grounding her, though."

"Well, you had a much different and a way better reaction than my dad did when he learned that I snuck out," Hailey muttered.

But, Jay had great hearing and heard her. He put down his coffee and furrowed his eyebrows. "What happened? You don't have to tell me anything you aren't comfortable with."

"Why did you become a teacher?" Hailey asked instead.

"Why did I become a teacher?" Jay repeated and Hailey nodded. "Well, as you know I was in the Rangers in Afghanistan and, while I was there I saw so many kids walking super far to schools or us accompanying children to school. They had to go through so much just to get to school, and I wanted to make a difference in kids' lives here Stateside. So, when I came home, I enrolled in college and got my degrees in education and a minor in history." Hailey had known that he was a veteran, which explained why he took every September 11 off, but she didn't know he became a teacher because of what he saw over there. "What about you?" he asked. "You went into social work before you became a teacher, right?"

For the past almost month and a half, the two teachers had been eating lunch together in either Hailey or Jay's classroom, and during those, they obviously talked about their experience with education and what made them want to go into the teaching field. Hailey mentioned one time that she was originally a social work major but then switched it to education. But, Jay didn't know why.

"Yeah, yeah, I was originally a social work major. But, it uh, it brought up some really bad memories and I didn't think I could handle being around that all day," Hailey answered, staring directly at her coffee.

Jay cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean? Again, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

"Um, it's okay. It's a part of my past. So, why I said that you were a lot nicer to Y/N when she snuck out was because, well, when my dad found out that I did, he uh, he..." she trailed off.

Jay's gaze was soft and sad as he finished for her. "Physical?" he asked, referring to the type of abuse she had endured as a child and teenager.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Hailey, I am so, so sorry that happened to you. I'm honored that you'd tell me this."

"It's uh, it's why I give those kids my phone number in case they need help. And, at the beginning of the year, it's on my syllabus, too," she said.

"In case they need a way out, they can call you," Jay said, piecing it together.

Hailey nodded.

Jay reached across the table and gently grabbed Hailey's hand in his. "You're a good woman, Hailey Upton."

She smiled sadly and nodded, grounding herself by focusing on the feeling of Jay's hand in hers.

"Do you want to get started on grading now?" she asked after a minute had passed.

"That might be a good idea," Jay laughed. Then, he let go of Hailey's hand. But, neither of them wanted that little handhold to end.

***

One month later

God, you were in pain. You didn't wanna get out of bed; you just wanted to sleep. Hell, you needed sleep.

Over the past month, you had thrown yourself into studying. You wanted to stay at this school. You loved all your teachers and you didn't want to leave your friends, especially your best friend Emma. And, you were also scared that if you had to transfer schools, that you might not do well on your AP exams or that you'd have a bunch of other requirements that the new school had that you'd have to do the last half of your junior year and during the entirety of your senior year.

You didn't want any of that.

So, you had come up with a plan.

The day after homecoming and that next week, you studied an hour or two hours later than normal. But, you still felt that you had work to do if you didn't want your dad to transfer you at the end of the semester. So, during your study hall hour, you'd go to the teachers and ask how you could get your B+ up to an A- or your A- up to an A. You'd even review questions you got wrong on quizzes so that you could get them right when those types of questions showed up on the tests.

Yes, the teachers probably thought you were crazy because you had good grades already and were trying to be Little Miss Perfect (or they thought that you were trying to get into another scholarship bracket for college or trying to become valedictorian), but you didn't care if you looked crazy. You wanted to finish your high school career at the school you were at now.

Also during this time, you had been "going to sleep" around 10:00-11:00, which was your normal time, just so that your dad didn't get suspicious. But, what you'd actually do was sleep for an hour-ish and then get up and study more.

It started with you studying until midnight and at the latest 1:30 in the morning...and then you'd wake up five hours later at 6:30. It wasn't ideal, but you could manage. Because, since your dad went to school earlier than you, you just brought extra coffee to school and he didn't notice a thing.

But, since all the teachers wanted to get their tests in before Thanksgiving break, for the past two weeks, you had been doing your power nap thing so your dad assumed that you were asleep, and then would wake up and do homework and study until 3:00-3:30 in the morning. This meant, that during the week, you were running on just three to three and a half hours of sleep a night. And, it wasn't like you could catch up a ton on the weekend, or else your dad would get suspicious. So, you just got like seven or maybe eight hours of sleep on the weekends. So, you were constantly in a state of sleep debt and in desperate need of caffeine.

You had done the extra cup of coffee for the first two weeks, but for the past two weeks, you had been drinking two cups of coffee at your house before school and finishing the second cup at school right before classes start, but then going into Miss Upton's classroom and getting another cup of coffee. Then, you'd also get another one from her room a little after lunch. (You made sure to never go in there during her lunch period because your dad and her still ate lunch together and you didn't want him to get suspicious.) Also, sometimes you and Emma would go to Starbucks to study after school. So, lately, you had been averaging four to five cups of coffee during the week and just two on the weekends. Because, again, you couldn't have your dad getting suspicious.

And, your dad and Miss Upton ran together in the morning before school now, so you really had to be careful about what you told Miss Upton. You couldn't have her telling your dad that you were drinking a couple additional cups of coffee. You just told her that your coffee never stayed warm long enough when you brought it from home, which is why you opted for hers. And, she bought it.

To cover the bags under your eyes, you had been wearing a bit of extra foundation and cover-up. And, to make sure that your dad didn't notice at home, you'd wash off all your makeup after school, but then quickly redo the area under your eyes.

So far, he was oblivious.

But, for a week and a half, your stomach had been super achy and you couldn't stand to eat anything in the morning before you had at least one cup of coffee. So, what would typically happen was that you'd end up eating a bowl of overnight oats in your car in the school parking lot before walking inside so that your coffee had time to digest. You figured out that you were fine after that. Well, it was still achy, but not as bad as in the morning.

God, you wish you were at that point right now.

For the past five days, you've been feeling nauseous and your stomach has been achy, but in the morning, there'd be a stabbing pain before you had any coffee. You'd roll out of bed when your alarm went off and go straight downstairs to get coffee because that seemed to be the only thing--besides ibuprofen--that would alleviate the pain.

But right now, right now was the worst you had ever felt in your entire life. You felt like someone was stabbing your stomach and it wouldn't let up. You felt nauseous like you'd puke any second. And, trying to get into another position didn't help. Nothing helped.

Fuck, you had to swallow your pride and your secrecy and go tell your dad.

You needed help and you needed it now.

So, you got up. But, that just made it worse. You swallowed, trying to keep the lump in your throat and not have it go on the floor.

You whimpered and then walked a few steps and opened your bedroom door.

Then, you threw yourself on the floor and crawled across the hallway.

You held your breath as you stood up, anticipating a ton of pain--which came--when you stood up and opened the door to your dad's room.

Then, you went back on the floor and crawled in there with tears streaming down your face.

It took all your energy to whisper, "Daddy."

***

Jay blinked sleepily. He thought he heard his daughter mumble "Daddy", which she hadn't called him in years. But, then he heard it again.

He looked down and saw a figure curled up in a ball on the floor.

"Daddy, make it stop, please," you whimpered.

He quickly flicked on the light so that he could get a better look at you.

"Y/N, baby, what's wrong?" he asked quickly when he saw your tears, your face contorted in pain, and how jagged your breathing was.

"Hurts," you whimpered as more tears fell and you clutched your stomach.

He jumped out of bed and knelt down next to you. "Your stomach?" he asked urgently. You nodded. "Can you sit up?"

You nodded and leaned against his bed. But, that was a bad idea because the minute you were upright, you puked right down yourself. You groaned and pressed down more on your stomach, which just caused you to vomit more and more.

The minute you started to vomit, Jay looked at the clock. He started to soothe you by rubbing your back, but then quickly stopped and ran into the adjoining bathroom to grab the trashcan and put it underneath your mouth instead.

"There you go, there you go," he soothed as he held the trashcan with one hand and rubbed your back with the other. "Get it out. It's okay. It's okay. I'm right here. I'm right here, Y/N."

But, when you puked for almost four minutes straight and were still in pain after, Jay knew something was seriously wrong.

"Don't get up, you'll make it worse," he said. You nodded weakly. "I'm gonna go grab you some water and Gatorade and put those and a bowl in the car. Then, we're gonna go to Med to get you checked out." You nodded again. "I'll be right back. I love you."

He gave you a quick kiss on the forehead and then sprinted off into the kitchen to grab the stuff he previously mentioned. Then, he ran outside and unlocked his car, turned it on to start heating up, put that stuff in the backseat, and sprinted back inside.

"Y/N, you still awake?" he asked when he walked back into his room.

"Mhm," you hummed with your eyes still closed and your hands still clutching your stomach.

"Okay, I'm gonna throw on a hoodie and my shoes, and then I'm gonna run into your room and grab you some shoes and a hoodie because it's pretty cold out. Are you okay here?" you nodded slowly. "Okay, I'll be right back. Don't get up."

Five minutes later, you had your shoes and hoodie on. You weren't much help getting those on; your dad basically had to dress you as if you were a baby again.

"I'm gonna pick you up and bring you to the car and we're gonna go to Med to see Uncle Will."

"Uh huh," you said, letting your dad know that you had heard him. Then, you felt yourself being lifted off the ground and soon felt the chill of the late November air and then the leather seats of your dad's truck on your back and the warmth of the truck.

"There's water and Gatorade. I want you to take a few sips," your dad said. "There's a bowl, too in case you have to puke again."

You drank a few sips of Gatorade and then laid back down and closed your eyes.

As your dad backed out of the driveway, he called Will to explain the situation and tell him that the two of you were on your way to Chicago Med.

After the call, he threw his phone into the passenger seat and reached his left hand into the backseat, and grabbed one of your hands. You gripped your dad's hand weakly as he drove as fast he could to Chicago Med.

He had to make sure that his little girl was okay.

***

"We've got a treatment room right here," Maggie said when she saw Jay sprinting into the ED with you in his arms.

She quickly led him to it and he laid you down in the bed.

Will rushed in with Natalie and April a few seconds later.

"Y/N, Y/N, can you hear me?" Natalie asked.

"Hurts," you mumbled.

"Jay," Will started, "did she puke on the way here at all?"

"No, no, she didn't. She just puked for almost four minutes straight at home and it's worse when she sits or stands up. She's been clutching her stomach since she woke up."

"Gonna- gonna--" you started to heave and a pink basin was thrust under your mouth and then you emptied the few sips of Gatorade into the basin. You started to cry even harder once you finished. "Make it stop, make it stop! Please make it stop!"

Natalie turned to your dad. "Do we have permission to administer medications?"

"Please," he answered, his voice cracking. He was terrified. He was terrified something was seriously wrong. He had never seen you in so much pain. "You have permission. Just please help her."

April pushed antinausea and pain medications as well as a light sleeping medication because it was apparent that, along with puking and being in a world of pain, you were also utterly exhausted.

"Y/N," April started, "you're going to get sleepy soon. But, can you give us your pain level on a scale of one to ten?"

"Ten. My stomach hurts at a ten," you answered while tears still ran down your face.

"Did you eat anything you weren't used to? Drink anything?"

"No, no," you panted. "Just- just lots of coffee. Not a lot of sleep. Studying."

Will and Natalie shared a look. They knew what this could be. And, at least they got it out of you now, because it was clear that the meds were starting to work and you were fading fast.

"Hun," Natalie began, "we're gonna leave April in here with you in case you get sick again. Is it okay if me, your Uncle Will, and your dad have a chat outside real quick?"

"Want my dad. Please."

Natalie smiled sadly. "Okay, he'll stay. We can talk to him later."

Your dad reached for your hand and held it and rubbed his thumb over the top while you drifted into a medication-induced sleep.

Five minutes later, you were out.

Jay looked at his brother. "What's going on? What's wrong with my kid?"

"From what she told us, it sounds like the acid in the coffee she's been drinking has been irritating her stomach lining. Has she been drinking a lot of coffee lately?" Will asked.

"Not that I've noticed. But, sometimes there's a little less in the coffee pot than I think there should be. But, even if she is drinking two cups, that can't cause this, can it?" Jay asked worriedly.

"No, two cups shouldn't. But, if she isn't sleeping a lot, sometimes lack of sleep can make people feel pretty crappy. So, if she's drinking more than her normal amount of caffeine and not sleeping, then that could be what's causing it."

"But, she goes to bed at her normal time," Jay argued.

"That doesn't mean that she's sleeping. She could be lying awake in bed. Has she seemed more tired to you?"

"No, not that I've noticed. Uh, what do I do, Will? Can't you run some tests?"

"I mean, I can run one to see if she's sleep-deprived, it's a plasma cortisol test. If her levels are elevated, that means she's not getting enough sleep. But, it wouldn't give us the reason why her stomach's hurting so bad and why she's nauseous and vomiting," Will answered.

"Then don't run the test," Jay said. "If it's not going to figure out the problem, then I don't want to put her through that. But, what do we do?"

"If it's what I think, an irritated stomach lining, then we keep her for observation for a few days, ween her off of caffeine to a healthy amount, give her antinausea and pain medications, and just wait for her to go home until she feels better," Will answered.

"Okay. I guess we wait. You mind grabbing me some coffee?"

Will laughed because they had just been talking about how you had been possibly drinking too much coffee and now Jay was asking for it. "Yeah, I can do that. My shift ends in an hour, so I'll be down here to wait with you then."

Jay smiled. "Thanks, man."

***

It was 7:30 in the morning the next day, which was Thanksgiving Day, when Jay's phone rang, waking him up. He answered it without checking the caller ID because he didn't want to disturb your peaceful sleep.

"Hello?" he asked groggily.

"Jay? Where are you and Y/N?" he heard Hailey's voice through the phone.

Shit, the Turkey Trot, he thought.

He and you always ran the Turkey Trot every Thanksgiving, sometimes dragging Will along if he didn't have to work. Then, you'd have your Thanksgiving feast later in the day. Granted, your dad had to keep pace with you for the entire time, so it really wasn't a race. But, it was a nice bonding experience, so the two (sometimes three of you) kept it up.

Jay had mentioned it to Hailey one morning when they were running the indoor track before school started, and she said she'd sometimes run it, too. So, Jay had invited her to run it with him and you, and she agreed.

You were convinced that Miss Upton and your dad were secretly dating.

But, Miss Upton had been waiting for you and your dad at the designated meeting spot for half an hour now. And, Jay Halstead was not one to be late.

"Listen, me and Y/N aren't going to be able to make it. She had some stomach issues last night and now she's in the hospital and the doctors are trying to figure out what's wrong," Jay said.

"Oh my God," she said as she started to walk away from their planned meeting spot and towards the parking garage where she parked her car. "What hospital are you at?"

"Chicago Med," Jay answered. "Why?"

"I'm gonna find someplace that's open and grab breakfast and then I'll be there."

"Hailey, you don't have to."

"Jay, I want to do this. I'll be there within the next hour."

Then, without waiting for him to protest once more, she ended the call.

***

When you woke up a few hours later, you rubbed your eyes, despite the IV in your hand, and rolled over.

"Well good morning, or almost afternoon," your uncle Will said and stood up. "How's the pain on a scale of one to ten?"

"Uh, maybe a six, seven?" you said.

But then, you looked around the room.

Why was Miss Upton here?

"I'll go get a nurse and let you three talk," Will said and then left the treatment room.

You looked at your dad and raised your eyebrows. At the same time, the achiness in your stomach started up again and you clutched it.

"Gonna be sick?" your dad asked.

"I don't know," you answered.

He handed you the pink basin anyway (a clean one because last night's was gross and went off to get cleaned) and you set it on your lap.

"Feel like you can eat anything?" your dad asked. "Hailey brought food...and coffee, but we'll have to check with the nurses about how much coffee you can drink."

"You brought it?" you asked as you looked at Miss Upton.

She smiled. "I did. I called your dad to see why you two weren't at the Turkey Trot yet, and he said you two were here, so I figured I'd find somewhere that's open and get you breakfast." She rummaged around in the bag and pulled out a container. "He mentioned you were having stomach issues so I opted for something light, so the fruit and nut oatmeal from Mcdonald's. I also grabbed a packet of syrup in case you wanted it sweeter."

She passed the food to you along with a spoon and a napkin. "Thank you," you said as you took them from her. "Sorry I messed up your run."

Hailey laughed. "It's okay. My run's the least of my problems. Me and your dad just want you to get better."

You tried to hide your smile. She said she and your dad. She cared about you more than she did other students...and you were just waiting for them to slip up and call each other babe at this point.

"Hey, I'm back," Will announced as he walked into the room. This time, he had Dr. Choi and Monique in tow. "Natalie and April have Thanksgiving off, so you have Dr. Choi as your doctor and Monique as your nurse."

You nodded.

"Hi, Y/N, I'm Dr. Choi, as your brother just mentioned. Monique here is just going to check your vitals." You nodded again. "I understand you've been having some stomach issues. Can you tell me when they started? Any changes to your diet or routine that I should know about?"

Here goes nothing.

You looked at your dad as tears formed in your eyes. "I'm sorry," you said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Your dad moved his chair closer to you and gently grabbed your hand. "Tell me what, baby?"

"I- I went to that party because--"

"Y/N, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to know why because I'm a teacher? Me and Miss Upton are both teachers."

"But I didn't go to drink at all! I hadn't even planned on drinking! I didn't even drink a drink!" you yelled, causing Monique to take a step back. You took a deep breath and turned to her. "Sorry, sorry. I'll be calm so you can do your job." After a few breaths, Monique went back to checking your vitals and you continued your story. "These two girls I know from my AP gov class asked me to come to the party to be their DD. So, I went. But, when I was there, I ate the fruit from the punch bowl and I forgot that the fruit absorbs the alcohol. I'm sorry."

"And when you realized what happened, you called Miss Upton?" your dad asked.

"Yeah," you confirmed. "And, I even made sure to give the car keys to one of the girl's boyfriends who wasn't drinking because he plays sports so that they'd get home safely."

Jay smiled slightly; he had taught you well.

"Did you keep drinking consistently after?" Dr. Choi asked. He couldn't see one drink causing all these problems.

"No, God no!" you said. But, then you clutched your stomach and took in a deep breath.

"Pain?" Dr. Choi asked.

"Yeah, it's not as bad as last night, though."

He looked to your dad. "If she wants more pain meds, will you allow it?"

"Yes," your dad answered.

"Do you want more pain meds?" Dr. Choi asked.

"Please," you answered.

So, Monique started to get the pain medication ready to go into your IV and then pushed the meds.

A few minutes later, once the medication had started to work, you continued your story.

"I heard you and Uncle Will talking," you said.

"When?" your dad asked. "Me and Uncle Will talk a lot."

"The night I snuck out. You and Uncle Will were talking and you said that you might make me transfer schools if my grades don't get better. I don't want to transfer schools, Dad."

Your dad sighed. "Kid, I was mad, but in reality, I wouldn't do that. That was just me being angry and trying to find a solution when I wasn't in the right headspace. Were you so nervous that your stomach hurt all the time?" he asked.

"No," you answered. "but, I started staying up later and doing homework."

"Really? You always seemed asleep to me."

"I'd sleep for an hour and then wake up and study more." Your dad sighed. "I'm sorry. And then I was just sleeping for like three hours, so I'd drink four or five cups of coffee a day and my stomach hurt so bad in the morning if I didn't drink any coffee, so I'd eat breakfast in my car before school."

"For how long?" your dad asked. "For how long have you been bottling this up? For how long have you been waiting to eat breakfast?"

"The stomach aches started a week and a half ago. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." You started to cry harder.

"Hey, hey it's okay. We know what happened now, so hopefully, Dr. Choi and everyone else here can fix it." He looked up at Dr. Choi who had been intently listening as well. "Right, Doc?"

Dr. Choi smiled. "That's right, Y/N. And, what it seems to me is that you've just been drinking too much coffee, and coupled with the lack of sleep, have had abdominal cramping and nausea due to all the caffeine irritating your stomach lining. So, what we'll do is ween your caffeine intake back down to one to two cups of coffee per day, not go cold turkey because you'll probably feel pretty crappy if we did that, and then continue giving you pain meds and antinausea meds. We'll probably keep you here a few days upstairs in a recovery room just for observation to make sure nothing else is going on."

"So, I have to spend my whole Thanksgiving break in the hospital?" you asked.

"I'm afraid so," he answered.

"Well, this sucks." You looked at the table next to Miss Upton. "Is that coffee for me?"

"It is. I don't know if you can have it, though," she answered.

"She can have it," Dr. Choi answered. "Just, no more after this one seeing as that's a large."

You nodded.

"I got you a vanilla iced coffee. Since apparently, we have the same taste because your dad said you also like vanilla sweet cream cold brews as much as me," Miss Upton said and then handed you the coffee.

"Seeing as everything looks good, me and Monique will check on you later." He turned to the three adults in the room. "If she pukes up that food or her stomach pain gets worse, come get us."

"Will do, Doc," your dad answered.

"Jay," Hailey started, "can I talk to you for a minute? Outside?"

Jay furrowed his eyebrows slightly but nodded. "Of course. Be right back, Y/N. I love you."

"I love you, too, Dad," you said.

Then, your dad and Miss Upton left the room.

Outside the treatment room, Hailey took a deep breath, grounding herself as she prepared to talk to Jay.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out.

"For what?" Jay asked, utterly confused.

"I knew she was drinking extra coffee but didn't tell you! Well, she told me when she brought it from home, that it would get cold too fast, so she always came to my room and had two cups during the day. If I knew she was drinking some at home, too, I would've never let her have any. I'm so, so sorry, Jay!"

"Hailey," Jay began and placed his hands on her shoulders, "it's not your fault. Hell, I didn't even notice it and she's my daughter."

"I know, but I just feel slightly responsible for her being in that hospital bed--"

"It's not your fault, Hailey. I promise. I don't blame you one bit and I know Y/N doesn't either."

Meanwhile, back in the treatment room, you really needed to use the bathroom.

"Uncle Will?" you asked, causing him to look up from his phone where he was trying to figure out what restaurants were open for dinner on Thanksgiving. He really didn't want him and his family eating hospital cafeteria food for Thanksgiving dinner.

"Hmm?" he hummed and gave you his full attention.

"I really need to go to the bathroom," you told him.

He pocketed his phone and stood up and moved over to you. "Okay, I'm gonna help you up and with one arm, I'll hold on to you and with the other, I'll hold onto the IV pole for you. Is that okay?" You nodded. "Do you think you'll need help in the bathroom? I can grab a nurse if you need me to," he offered.

"No, just help me to the bathroom, please. I should be good when I get in there."

"Okay." Then, he helped you up and the two of you made your way over to the bathroom where he stood and waited while you went inside.

Back with Hailey and Jay, Jay reassured Hailey once again that none of this was on her.

"If anything," Jay began, "I should be thanking you. You got Y/N home safe after that party."

"Jay, we've been over this. I would've done it for any one of my students," she said.

"But, would you take their dad up on their offer of buying you coffee if it wasn't my kid you picked up?" Jay asked and tilted his head to the side.

"Probably not," Hailey said, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"Can I ask why?" She stayed silent. "Listen, Hailey, it's been a long time since I've seen you as just a fellow teacher," Jay admitted.

She looked up at him. "Since we're all sharing secrets today, it's been a long time since I've seen you as a fellow teacher, too, Jay."

Jay smiled and moved a piece of her hair behind her ear. He leaned in. "Can I?" he asked.

He didn't get a response because she quickly pressed her lips against his. It was the kiss she had been waiting for since she asked him to eat lunch with her that first week of school.

You and your uncle Will had chosen that exact time to make your way back to your treatment room. You two had seen everything: your dad putting a strand of Hailey's hair behind her ear and them leaning in and kissing.

You were glad that one of your hands was free because you whacked Will across the chest in excitement.

It was finally happening!

Jay and Hailey pulled away and looked at each other and smiled.

"I uh, I hope that was okay," Hailey said quietly.

"Oh, it was more than okay. I'd happily do that again, but we should probably get back into Y/N's room. She's probably wondering what's taking us so long," Jay said.

Hailey laughed. "Probably."

The two turned around and saw you and Will standing thirty feet away. Jay's eyes widened. "Uh..." he trailed off as Hailey blushed hard.

"Finally!" you exclaimed.

"Yeah, I agree with Y/N on this one," Will laughed. "But, who would've thought? A government teacher and an English teacher?" He started to help you walk back to your treatment room but turned his head back to Jay and Hailey. "Oh, don't stop on our account."

"Will!"

A/N: hank you guys so, so, so much for reading! Again, please remember to like/reblog and comment because I love reading all your comments and seeing that you liked/reblogged because that means you enjoyed reading the imagine! Again, I am donating all my proceeds on buy me a coffee until the end of AU-gust to Save The Children to help the children in Afghanistan. Buy me a coffee here.

As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’d be happy to add you!

Taglist: @theambracer88@virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

[phoenixyfriend]

I really enjoy Star Wars but only from your perspective/takes do you have any fic you recommend your mind is a wonderful place to observe Star Wars much better than those movie should be

I still haven’t seen the movies lmao, and a lot of the fics I read aren’t necessarily the kind of thing I actually futz about with? But here are a few that mostly err on the side of comedic (I don’t have the energy to include disclaimers and warnings, so please check tags before you read anything):

Either outright comedies, or plot-heavy with significant comedic moments:

Untitled Soulmate Game - soulmate AU where the main plot device is that one morning a goose shows up and bothers you until you find your soulmate

Be Careful What You Sith For - Palpatine does A Sith Magic that results in everyone in the galaxy getting the name of their death (in the default timeline) written out on their arm. I... can’t remember if this is actually funny but there are certainly moments.

Sith Lord Swell - Luke and his students (Ben Solo is mid-teens) end up pre-TCW and... decide the best cover is to pretend they’re all Sith Lords. It’s all very silly and Luke goes in real hard on being a big ham, it’s great.

Wake the Storm - Mid-TCW Anakin swaps places with ANH Vader. His body comes with him. It’s all very confusing. I don’t remember how funny this one was, but.

Lies About Jedi - Cody uses a shiny trooper to guilt-trip Obi-Wan into taking a nap

Shining Bright Above You - chatfic clone hijinks

The Happening - yet more chatfic clones

GAR Requsitions - clones deal with bureaucratic nonsense

Soft Wars - TCW but, like, soft

Senator Obi-Wan AU - AU where Obi-Wan isn’t a Jedi, but insists on running into danger even more than Padme does

Old Man Luke - Sequels Luke ends up mid-TCW

Shifting Sands - Sequels Leia shows up on Tatooine a year pre-TPM, forcibly adopts herself into the Skywalker family. It’s not... technically a comedy, but there are a lot of satisfying “Why are you LIKE THIS” moments for everyone involved

Realign the Stars - time travel (Anakin, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, Cody, Rex) not primarily a comedy but there’s a lot of moments that are just like “Anakin won an entire moon and half of Tatooine by rigging the bets in a race” and that’s just. It’s choice.

An (Un)fortunate Haunting - Anakin is haunted by Vader’s ghost

The Corteous Art of Correspondence During A Galactic War as Performed Aptly by Certain Sith and Jedi - Rael Averross sends bitchy letters to Dooku during TCW

Bar Fights and Beaches - short and sweet, Anakin is very “dis mine” about his soldiers

Everyone is confused but R2-D2. - Vader finds out his children exist while on the Death Star, proceeds to cause problems

Din Djarin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Time Travel Incident - Din Djarin time-travels to mid-TCW. Everyone assumes he’s a Mandalorian from so far in the past that the Jedi/Mando rivalry didn’t exist yet. He does not realize this, and accidentally keeps confirming their suspicions.

Not comedies but very good, mostly time ravel:

Living in Borrowed Time - Ahsoka & Rex do mental time-travel from their deaths to a day or so before their first meeting

wilder mind - Force-sensitive Rex!

Don't Look Back - shortly post-OT Leia gets physically transported back to just before AotC

Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns - Sequels Leia goes to sleep the night after Han dies and wakes up nineteen again, on the Death Star

Reprise - Ben Kenobi dies, wakes up physically thirty-five and several hundred stories below the Temple main floor, claims he’s 16yo Obi-Wan’s uncle, things spiral wildly in directions that make political sense but are also Very Odd if you want stations of the canon

Probability Matrices - Darth Vader dies, Ben’s ghost does A Thing, Anakin Skywalker wakes up a week before Qui-Gon arrives with almost forty years of memories he shouldn’t have. This series is like 50% therapy by volume so I love it. Din Djarin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Time Travel Incident

The Dark Path Lit by Sun and Stars - Mental time-travel for Ben, de-aging and physical time travel for the OT trio. Feelsy.

The Desert Storm - Ben time travel, mostly serious, very long, good if you have a few weeks to waste (I admittedly took only a few days but binge-reading your weekends away is not recommended)

Double Agent Vader - a classic

into the desert - Anakin doesn’t go evil, fic is very heavily 

Well It Goes Like This - Anakin doesn’t Fall, but everything else mostly still happens as it did; he manages to save a handful of kids and escape O66

[popculturebuffet]

VeggieTales: The Star of Christmas Review (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Ho ho ho all you happy people! I’m Jake I review stuff and my blog’s christmas slurry continues with some brocolli, celery, it’s gotta be VeggieTales, courtsey of my good friend Emma. 

For those who don’t know what the heck this is, VeggieTales was a series of religious direct to video specials for kids done from the 90′s to the mid 2010′s starring antromoprhic vegtables, as the simple shapes needed for that were a god send to early 90′s cg. The franchise still persists today, having both had a mediocre and mildly terrifying netflix show and currently a show on an obscure christian streaming service. Despite wearing i’ts secular nature on it’s sleeves (several specails were outright remakes of bible stories and god is mentioned in every episode but never appears, like their version of Norm’s Wife from Cheers), the series blew up in popularity with kids of all kinds. 

Like many kids I grew up with these, or at least the earlier ones, and loved them dearly, not even realizing they were relegious despite obvious evidence till I was an adult. The show just had pure charm, with great voice acting, fun characters, and a wonderfully silly sense of humor. These 50 specials are a classic for a reason and these characters have lasted this long for much the same reason. 

SO naturally I was happy to cover this for Emma on comission. The result... was easily the thing that pushed my sanity closest to the brink in a year where i’ve had to deal with covid restrictions returning because people are stupid, a disaasterious trip to denver i’d rather not get into, final space and infinity train both getting canceled while owl house had its third season cut to ribbons because “it wasn’t disney content” aka “because it’s very gay and I know we can’t say that but we can certainly imply it”, and a general sense of doom and gloom that while not as bad as last year wasn’t great.. and this was the thing to nearly push me over the edge of insanity. 

See you might think with that leadup this means the special is bad. It’s not. It’s not the shows best, but it’s not half bad. What it is however.. is crazy town banana pants. This may be one of the most batshit things i’ve reviewed on this blog. And in my two or so years doing this i’ve seen Santa untietoinally let his family die because he dosen’t know how doors work, a man who makes golems out of his skin flakes watch two women wrestle in oil, Pinoccio somehow be part of the Donald Duck universe because fuck off, Scrooge McDuck BUY AN ENTIRE ISLAND JUST TO TEACH HIS NEPHEW A LESSON, and whatever the fuck this is. 

But this my friends takes the case for sheer batshit insanity. This my friends is the Christmas Star and trust me, your going to want to unwrap this one with me under the cut. This.. this is a trip. 

So for starters we’re just plopped right into the story. No real intro, no Bob and Larry on a countertop telling us things like the earlier shorts, just suddenly we’re in turn of the century London with Bob and Larry who are wearing fancy mustaches. Not even a minute in i’m a bit thrown off but thankfully we get caught up to speed quick.

Bob and Larry are two playwrites who have done adverts and what not for toothpaste, but want to do stage shows. They also have diffrent names in this one, but i’m ignoring that because...

While Bob and Larry and the rest of the cast are TECHNCIALLY playing characters much like say, looney tunes, just because their in a diffrent setting dosen’t mean they act any diffrent. So i’m keeping the original names, if you have any issues with that please see my complaint department

So our heroes convinced Larry’s Uncle, Played by Nezzer, to let them use his theater for a show on christmas eve in a few days, with Bob’s big gimmick for it being electric lights on the set, provided by his friend Pa Grape, who went to engineering school in this timeline and thus is a kooky inventor, though still as always the voice of reason in this crazy mixed up world. He also brings along his chekovs gun of a car that runs on rockets for the climax later. What a considerate cgi blob he is. 

Bob manages to wrangle a famous actress played by Madam Blueberry and a prince, played by of all the possible characters Mr. Lunt. Why?

Seriously I feel Archibald Asparagus would’ve made more sense. Maybe it was just because having such a side character, and a normally shady one, play a mostly offscreen difgnified prince who shows up for the finale was inherently funny, which if this was intentional.. well played. Honestly I could just as easily buy they needed all hands on deck for this one and thus went for one that was still a decently sized character, but not one they needed in a more fitting roll elsewhere. 

Bob gets the prince, whose also a theater critic because plot convience, and the actress on board but encounters another problem: he finds out there’s another performance at a church that same night. 

It’s the annual christmas play by Junior Asapragus, whose being a little merry monster to everyone as he overworks his actors and refuses to accept a pea’s wool allergies. He died the next week. Charges were never filed. 

Junior’s dad is the local preist who is heading off to feed a poor family who needs it, something Junior questions. 

That said the special DOES use this to teach a valuable lesson: The holiday should be about giving out of the goodness of your heart, about doing it for others. Not about the flash and trappings. It’s done slightly subtly, without beating you in the head with it but obvious enough younger kids will get it.  It’s charity like this WHY I don’t dismiss religion out of hand: I won’t deny it’s been used for massive harm: churches are responsible for massive amounts of homophobia, transphobia and generally unhelpful moral outrage, not to mention fueling republican assholes by blindly telling people to support them despite clear corruptions and in some cases ARGUGING AGAINST vaccine mandates despite you know, those being in place to keep ups alive. My point is a LOT of people associated with the church or who go to it are dumb.  But there are also plenty of christians, catholics and other jesus and god loving types who arne’t homophobic jackasses and just want to help out of the kindness of their heart. My Aunt Paula for instance works at a chruch, but is a nice, kind woman who has been nothing but the nicest person i’ve ever known and may ever know.  She set off my lifelong love of comic strips and has been nothing but supportive of me my whole life. Religion isn’t inherently bad, it’s the morons who refuse to think for themselves with it and the assholes who use it to back up their own barely contained bigotry that’s the problem, but when done right.. it can lead to people geninely helping other people simply because they feel it’s the right thing to do and help nudge them to their best instincts. It’s why despite growing ot be cyncial about religion.. I still don’t hate these specials. They try to teach kids the best part sof the bible, helping others and knowing right from wrong and i’m never not going to be okay with that. 

So the first ten minutes or so as you can tell really aren’t all that crazy though I did supsect this would be about Bob the Tomato getting overly competitive with a chruch production of the birth of christ. And good news Bob The Tomato, childhood icon to many DOSEN’T try to run a children’s production out of town.  He does something MUCH worse that we’ll get to soon. 

So Bob decides NOT to steam his competition and have Larry devour the remains unkowingly, again confident he’ll have the better show and achive his goal of “teaching london to love”. Oh yeah I forgot to mention this takes place in england.

That confidence lasts until God decides Bob needs to be punished for his hubris and Archibald Asparagus just HAPPENS to show up and hear him takling about the star. And thus things take a hard left turn into 

As it turns out the star Junior’s using.. IS A PRECIOUS HISTORICAL ARTIFACT. Yes the church has had it for centuries and this CHILDREN’S CHRISTMAS PAGENT is the first time it’s being displayed in all that time due to various kings trying to loot it including one who liked eating anything star shaped. That bit got a chuckle out of me but it dosen’t detract from the fact this play is centered around a centuries old artifact.. that’s being USED FOR A CHRISTMAS PAGENT. It’d be like if Charlie Brown just happened to find the arc of a coveneant in the basement of the .. wherever he was that was having a christmas play and used it as the manger. 

So Archibald puts it in the paper, leading to the prince canceling on them. As such Bob’s solution is LIGHTS, LIGHTS ON EVERYTHING. A WHOLE ELECTRIC ORCHESTIRA OF

 LIIIIIIGGGHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSS

Putting them on costumes now. Unsurprisingly this dosen’t work. And here’s where things turn into a tinsel decked fever dream folks. See my first instinct when hearing about the star is “oh okay so bob’s going to steal it” but I stuffed that away, especially when they pivoted to the lights thing. SURELY a christian childrens show for young children wouldn’t have one of it’s most iconic and beloved characters steal from a chruch. Surely. And they wouldn’t.... no instead...

For those of you who haven’t seen the special this is what ACTUALLY HAPPENS. I swear to god. And I don’t take swearing that lightly he’s pretty harsh on people who lie in his name. 

I just.. their in the wrong and all but.. you’d think Big Idea would look at the script a bit more before realizing what they’d done. Bob and Larry, two of the most innocent characters I can think of steal from god’s summer home to save their flagging careers. DId Mel Brooks write this one? What is happening. 

And somehow the special gets even more insane as the two stay in the chruch past closing, now guarded by the scottish carrot who rarely shows up , who in this one is Moyer the Destroyer, a former boxing champ, a nice subtle joke.  They grab the star while he’s napping but larry NATURALLY causes a ruckuss leading to a long protracted chase scene which consists of Bob and Larry trying to escape with their stolen goods from a chruch while an old scottish man mutters at them incomprehinesibly the entire time. 

Our heroes narrowly escape with what they and moyer think is the star. Now your probably thinking SURELY it can’t get any more what the hell right? Right?

For starters we have play rehersal now with more lights and more stolen religious artifacts! So this seems normal.. till the costumes and bulbs all short out.. and cause an electrical fire....

Yes really everyone flees and Bob is upset no one is by his side now he’s comitted arson, minus the peas but they really just count as one person. Now you were probably wondering “Wait how was Bob going to get away with the star thing anyway, Moyer saw their faces, their publicly credited on a poster, and he’s pubicly promoting having it. What was his plan”. Well his plan was jack and squat as Moyer brings the police, played by the yellow guy and ...

So it’s time for VeggieJails as Bob beomoans his horrible actoins and is mocked by a cockney green onion in the corner over trying to make london love again by doing a stage show. I. I don’t know what you want from me at this point. 

Our heroes however are saved.. by the very people they robbed. In a nice gesture Junior choose to forgo the play to let them out. The pastor and son aren’t pressing charges. It’ sgeninely sweet.. even if it underlines that Junior.. really isn’t a character here. He’s more of a plot device, his play setting up bob’s theft and his saving them setting up the last act. J-Dawg is set UP for a character arc of growth and what not.. but... it just dosne’t happen. he’s just nice because we need a climax. 

Turns out though the pagent is in ten minutes, and our heroes feeling bad this kind act has cost the kid his play vow to get him there using Chekvo’s rocket carriage. So we get a decent race the clock scene in a rocket powered car, which normally would be the higlight of insanity for this show but .. well see above. 

OUr heroes naturally make it in time using all the rockets including the forbidden last one, and while their without a star bob subtstitues using larry surronded by hallogens. We get a message about jesus being the real star, blah blah blah, and we segue into our happy ending: Nezzer suprisingly dosen’t send our heroes to Debtors jail, simply having them work off the debt in his factory, and the prince loved the play and wants to implicitly back our boys next project, and will likely pay off said debts for the theater. Why they didn’t just have him do that instead I don’t know. 

We get one final bit of insanity. While it should be a sweet moment, earlier the green onion or whatever he is complained about never having had a truly selfless act of kindness done to him in his life, so bob brings him dinner. But it’s set to just the most morose JESUS JESUS JESUS christmas song you could imagine, taking the special and the last shreds of my sanity with it. 

Final Thoughts:

Well.. that was insane. Seriously I don’t know why.. any of this. It was enjoyable to watch though and for kids it wouldn’t be bad as the impact of you know, one of their childhood icons going to jail likely woudln’t hit the way it did for me and i’ts got a good message, it just needed more time for some better pacing is all. And also the theme song which was sorely missed. So yes this speicial is kind of insane but also great for it. Check it out, it’s free on Tubi which is how I watched it and there’s hardly any ads so go do that. Then maybe check out supseria or something I dunno, I don’t know how you holiday. Maybe you’d prefer some duel masters. Whatever floats your jingle boat

If you liked this review, freel free to join my patreon for exclusive reviews and to help me keep the christmas lights on here. 

LINK IS HERE

Have a happy holiday, thanks for reading. 

[dkscribe88]

First off, I am not back from my self-imposed hiatus from this platform. I was asked if I might do something by my friend @tunnelscreamer so I am. Secondly, I did not draw the above image. This is something @fenth-eiria drew for me. I still owe them a story for it, so I just want to say to them I have not forgotten. I’ve just gotten busy with life and school. This drawing is my Sifa crew from my AO3 story Meet Me by the Seafarer’s Lantern chapters 4-6. Two of the characters seen here are @fenth-eiria’s. The Dousan girl with the whit blouse and blue dress, and the male Gelfling in the way back. Four other Gelfling are all canon characters. Tae with the orange hair, Onica sitting at the table, Captain Madso holding the sword and Ivo, the redhead standing at the table, which is a character from the AoR: Tactics video game. The only thing non-canon about any of them is that I made Madso a Spriton, where the books suggest he might be Stonewood. I’ll introduce my OCs down below.

First up is Aedra. She is the pale pinkish haired lady being held by @fenth-eiria’s OC. Her name comes from the Hebrew name: Adira, which means majestic, strong or noble. She is in her mid-50s. She is of mixed clan heritage with her father being a Sifa and her mother being Drenchen. She has healing vliyaya from her mother and also possesses great strength, able to do the work of three Gelfling in addition to healing. If I’m remembering the backstory I gave her correctly, she lost her entire family in a shipwreck at a very young age. This caused her to adopt an anti-social personality throughout most of her life. Anyone that tries to get close to her gets pushed away for fear that they’ll just end up leaving her anyway. She gets work on various fishing boats as both a healer and deckhand. One day in Cera-Na she finds a young girl wandering around near the entrance to the Crystal Desert, and this is where my next OC comes in, Zili.

Zili is one of my favorite OCs. In the picture, she is the indigo-haired woman hanging from the rafters. She was inspired by the best friend I had in elementary-high school, mixed with Kate McKinnon’s Ghostbusters character and a few other inspirations. Her name is Hebrew for My Shadow, although I originally got it from the name Ezili, which is the Benin goddess of beauty, water and love. I can’t remember her exact age, but she’s around 19-21 in my story.  She is thought to be of mixed clan heritage Dousan/Sifa, but it hasn’t been confirmed. Her backstory is that she can’t exactly remember anything before meeting Aedra. At first, Aedra sought to get rid of her, but it felt irresponsible to do that, so she kept her around. Zili stayed quiet, scarred by her past for the longest time, but then one day she just started talking and has rarely stopped since. She is hyper and eccentric, often doing random things that make no sense to anyone but her. She and Aedra both get hired by the Sifa Maudra as a guardsman and healer respectively. Zili is known for being very fast and agile on foot and in the air, and very clever. Often outthinking her opponents and getting them to defeat themselves.

My next OC is Tae’s boyfriend Galen. His name is Greek and means calm. He is 22 trine old. He’s the black and white haired young man holding Tae in the drawing. Another mixed clan of Sifa/Spriton/Vapra heritage, his father was a Vapra who fell in love with his Spriton/Sifa mother. This relationship caused his father’s family to disown him and kick him out of the clan. To this day, Galen’s Vapran kin don’t know he even exists, nor do they care. Galen grew up on various ships, eventually ending up first mate to his uncle, Captain Madso. Galen is funny, flirtatious, brave, kind and reserved at times. He does not drink alcohol, and thus can watch out for Tae when she drinks to excess. He’s also very analytical, able to think several steps ahead of most people, except Tae. She always has him beat.

The final OC in the drawing is Fram. His name comes from the Norwegian word fram, which was a type of ship used in expeditions back in the late 18-early 1900s. He’s full Sifa, age 24, with sandy blond hair and a scar across his face. He is Ivo’s love interest, although neither of them have expressed their feelings for the other yet. Fram is gruff, coarse, and very off-putting to everyone around him. The only known survivor from the last Sifa expedition to the isle of Diabhal, he is Onica and Tae’s guide to the treasures of the island and the dangers they must face to get them. During this quest is when he falls in love with Ivo, and much like little boys that don’t know how to express that they like a girl, Fram picks on Ivo, causing Ivo to believe that his own feelings will never be returned. By the end of the story, they are friends but have not made the leap to lovers yet.

I’ve many other OCs that I didn’t list on here. All of them can be found in various chapters in Lantern, so if you liked these, check out the story on AO3. Well, that’s about it for me. I might do one other post for createforthra, but I don’t know for sure. Back to my hiatus - DK

[wanna-be-bold]

Bodyguard

For anon - Cliche Trope: 22. You’re my new bodyguard and you’re cute.

Eleanor Bishop had been a best selling author for over five years now but the one thing she still couldn't get used to was the need to have a bodyguard around at all times. When she first became an author she never imagined the fame that could come with it. One day she was just taking a relaxing stroll down the street, no one paying her any attention, and the next she was a recognizable face everywhere, unable to go out without people surrounding her. Her agent hired her a bodyguard immediately after that, a guy in his late 50s named Chuck who had just retired from the Army and wanted something calmer for work. 

Ellie immediately created a friendship with Chuck, he became like an uncle to her so it was with great sadness that he was retiring today. As much as he loved his job travelling the world was getting to be too much and he wanted to be around for his first grandchild. She couldn't blame him for wanting to be around family more but she was going to miss him. 

Putting down her tube of mascara Ellie took a deep breath. She just said goodbye to Chuck and would be meeting her new bodyguard in a few minutes and she didn't know what to expect. 

A knock on the door broke her out of her thoughts and she looked up as her friend and agent Kasie walked in. 

"Hey B, this is your new bodyguard." Standing up she brushed off her pants and walked over to where Kasie was standing with a man. 

"Nick Torres. Nice to meet you Miss Bishop." She had to blink a couple times to gather her thoughts. He was nothing like Chuck. No, this man was younger, mid 30's if she had to guess, and clearly muscled if the way his tight tee fit him was any indication. And cute, very cute. A throat clearing from Kasie broke her out of her thoughts and she felt the blush creeping up her neck before shaking her head minutely. 

"Um Ellie, please. Nice to meet you Mr. Torres." Holding out her hand, she didn't expect the electricity she felt when his hand grasped hers and, by the look of shock on his face, he felt it too. 

"You can uh, call me Nick." The smile on his face was warm and bright and she sent one right back, hoping Kasie didn't notice the look of interest in her eyes. 

Maybe getting a new bodyguard wasn't such a bad thing. 

[thetravelerwrites]

Dr. Maël Halvorg (Fae)

Rating: Teen Relationship: Male Part-Fae/Female Part Fae Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, Fae, Naga, Reader Insert, Anthropology, Genetics Content Warnings: Children, Pregnancy, Incubation, Infertility Words: 4723

A commission by @ivymemnoch​​! With Amai and Yenuno's children getting older, they need a teacher, and Amai calls a friend to help out. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

“Amai, it’s great to hear from you!” You said, sitting back and sipping a coffee. You were typing up reports at your desk when she called. “God, it’s been forever since we last spoke. How are Yenuno and the children?”

You were surprised to get a call from your old friend while you were working overseas. You and Amai had gone to college together, and while she was getting a law degree in civil rights, you were studying anthropology. You were both in fields specializing in non-humans, which is why you were studying together.

There was a college that offered specific studies in exology, or the study of non-human sentient life, Exanian University. It provided classes in medicine, law, sociology, politics, cultural exo-anthropology, and many other subjects that focused solely on non-humans.

It was established in the early 1890’s and originally only taught humans about the nine Established races. The Established were allowed to attend school in the 50’s, and during the Neogon rights movement in the 80’s, the campus and curriculum was expanded to included education on the newer races that had begun to emerge as well as open its doors to non-humans. In addition, they began to petition and encourage other colleges to offer exological studies. Many alumni of E.U. were now teaching exological studies at other colleges.

You were now a research professor for E.U., studying newly emerged races and reaching out to those shy about integrating. When you first started your career, Amai and the firm where she worked would often help draw up protection papers for the new races until they were formally recognized as a Neogon race and therefore protected under the Neogon act, which granted them the same rights as humans and the Established. Though, as time went on, new races were much rarer, and you hadn’t needed their services. The surprise call was the first time you’d spoken in months, and you hadn’t seen her face-to-face in eight years.

“They’re well, thank you!” She said. “Whereabouts are you these days?”

“Portugal,” You replied. “We’ve had reports that the Encante people may actually exist, and we’ve been attempting to locate and make contact with them. Unfortunately, because they’re underwater creatures, they’re ability to shapeshift, and their reputation as seducers in the mythology of the region, it hasn’t been an easy task. Although, several people in the local villages claim to have Encantado ancestry, so we’re running blood tests to determine the legitimacy of that claim. If they’re blood comes back with unidentified DNA, we can start the protected race process. I assume that’s why you’re calling? You must have heard the news from Song. I sent him an email about drawing up papers a few days ago.”

“He did tell me, yes, and that’s wonderful news,” She replied. “But that’s actually not why I’m calling.”

“Oh?” You’re head rocked back, surprised. “To what do I owe the pleasure, then?”

“Well,” She sighed heavily. “The older children are at the developmental stage enough now where they should begin school, and the younger ones could use some help with supplemental skills. But both Yenuno and Dr. Halvorg don’t think putting them in a normal school a good idea, so I’ve been outvoted. At the very least, they need a tutor. I’ve done what I can on my own, but I’m not a very good teacher. At least, not for fifteen children. Soon to be eighteen, actually.”

“You’re carrying a new clutch?” You said, excited. “That’s wonderful! Yenuno must be very happy.”

“He is, and so am I,” She said, sounding please but tired. “Although we think this might be the last one. My body isn’t recovering as quickly as it used to and Yenuno worries about my health.”

“Understandable. So why did you call me?”

“Well, Yenuno doesn’t know anything about the educational system, having grown up in the wild, and Dr. Halvorg wants to hire some stuffy colleague of his who will bore the kids into a drooling stupor. Halvorg won’t accept anything less than the best, which I mean… I guess it’s nice that he wants the kids to have nothing but the utmost quality, I just wish he wasn’t so damn rigid. He needs to get laid, honestly,” She huffed, and you stifled a laugh. “Do you have someone you could recommend?”

“To get him laid?”

She snorted. “No! You know what I mean. Do you think any of your colleagues at the university would be interested in educating the children of a rare, endangered race? That’s got to have appeal to you academic types, right?”

“Hmm,” You hummed, sitting back in your chair and contemplating. “I’m not sure. You know, it occurs to me that I’ve never even met your children. Or your husband, for that matter.” You sat up and looked at your calendar. “You know what? I’m due for a vacation. Why don’t I come back state-side and meet all of your little ones? I can get a better idea of who would be a good fit for them. I know several people in early education who could be great for tutoring a large group of children at different development levels.”

“Ah, you’re a lifesaver, thank you so much,” Amai said. “I’ll owe you one big time.”

“Just find me a man and we’ll call it even,” You said, laughing. “I’ll text you when my schedule frees up and we’ll make some plans.”

Two weeks later, you stepped off the plane of the airport in Coleville and rented a car. Willowridge was an out of the way town that had the E.U. campus where you and Amai had gone to school. It was a little bit of a drive from the city to get there, but Coleville had the closest airport.

You arrived at the research facility sometime around mid-afternoon, greeted out front by Amai and her youngest child, Yenu. Yenu was a 50/50 hybrid between naga and human, which was unheard of; all other hybrids were a 95/5 percent split since the males both created and fertilized the eggs. Females were simply incubators in the breeding process. Yenu was a curious mix between Amai and her father, from her stubby little legs to her long snake tail and the blue scales running down her neck and back. From an academic perspective, it’s no wonder this Dr. Halvorg was so keen on keeping her and her siblings in the facility for study.

On the other hand, she was adorable, and the entire world needed to know about it. You wondered how many specialists actually knew about her existence and why there wasn’t more published about her in scientific literature. You’re fairly sure there was only one article based on her, and it was authored by Dr. Halvorg. They were likely keeping her under strict protections until she was older, to spare her the media circus.

“It’s so good to see you!” You said as you scooped her into a hug. Her belly wasn’t big yet, but you could feel it’s hardness against your own belly. Yenu squealed happily in her arms as you squished the two of them.

“You, too!” She said, kissing your cheek. “How was the drive?”

“Scenic, as always,” You said, following her as she went inside. “I got the email from Dr. Halvorg last night about accommodations. You’re right: he’s a little abrupt, but in all honestly I’ve yet to meet a geneticist that isn’t.”

“Believe it or not, he’s way less uptight than he used to be. The children really help lighten him up.”

“He likes kids?” You said, your opinion of him rising slightly.

“Oh, very much,” She said, then her voice lowered to a sad whisper. “He can’t have any children, apparently. His kind are bad breeders, he says.”

“His kind?”

“He’s part fae,” She replied.

“Oh,” You said, frowning. “That’s odd.”

“What is?”

“Well, I’m part fae, too, and I have three brothers. And I know of several subraces of fae that are prolific breeders, several of which I helped integrate myself. Exogenetics is still an evolving science. Perhaps he has been so focused on his current work that he hasn’t checked recent literature in the field. He’s been working in conservation for several decades, didn’t you say? I’ll make some calls and see what I can find.”

“I forgot you were part fae,” She said thoughtfully. “What subrace are you, again?”

“Russian Bereginya,” You replied. “What is he?”

“I’ve never asked,” She said. “He very rarely talks about himself at all. Honestly, it seems like a sore subject with him, so I’ve never brought it up. Even Yenuno seems hesitant to ask, and he gets along better with Dr. Halvorg than I do. The only reason I know his first name is because I’ve seen it on official reports. Only the children are allowed to say it, even if it’s to call him ‘Uncle Maël’.”

“A hard nut to crack, huh?” You asked as she led you into the public lobby and fished out a personnel I.D. badge.

“You could say that,” She said. “He and I don’t always see eye to eye, at least.” She swiped her card in a card slot and pressed her thumb on the printpad. “I’ve got a temporary I.D. waiting for you in the back. It’ll be good for the next two weeks. Let me know if you decide to stay longer, and I’ll have the expiration extended.”

“Sure, thanks,” You said.

“You’re about to meet the man himself,” She said as she walked though an automatic sliding door. “Plus my man, and my children. You remember their names?”

You nodded. “It’ll take me a while to match names to faces, though. You always were an overachiever.”

She laughed.

The two of you walked into what looked like the receiving room of a warehouse, except it was empty. There was a large, rolling aluminum wall that was raised and led to a forested area outside. There was an enclosed greenhouse type thing that had several nests built, as well as a cottage at the far end.

Each little nest had a small body with blue scales and warm almond skin lying in it, curled up into a coil, eyes closed and breathing softly. The cottage at the far end also had a movable wall, which was up, and a large, blue naga with long, straight, black hair and pale skin was sitting there, typing on a laptop that was perched on a standing desk.

“Yenuno is a bit socially shy, so he connects with others through the internet,” Amai whispered. “It’s about as much social interaction with the outside world as he can tolerate sometimes.”

“It must be naptime,” You whispered back, nodding toward the kids.

She laughed softly. “The older ones only need to eat once a day now, depending on the size of their prey, and they get tired after hunting and feeding, so we schedule it for noon. They should be up soon, though.”

She waved her hand to get Yenuno’s attention. He looked up and smiled, closing the laptop. He slithered down the ramp, over to Amai to plant a kiss on her lips, and then took Yenu in his arms, tossing her up once to make her giggle before squishing her in a big hug and blowing a raspberry into her cheek. Amai shushed him.

“Let’s go to the lounge to talk,” Amai said quietly. “Yenuno, this is my friend I told you about, the professor from E.U.”

“It’s nice to meet you finally,” Yenuno said as the three--no, four--of you went to a sitting area nearby. Half of the room had chairs and a couch, while the other side had cushions with a table in between. “Amai has told me many stories about you.”

“Most of them are true,” You said, sitting. “But I won’t say which.”

He laughed and set Yenu on the floor in front of him, watching her carefully as she scooted her way across the carpet. “Dr. Halvorg will be around soon. He usually talks to the children after their naps about their hunting experiences.”

“Jeez, I thought I was a workaholic,” You said. “Does he ever relax?”

“Not that I’ve ever seen,” Amai said, handing you a cup of coffee from the bar behind the couch. “If he’s awake, he’s in research mode. He even works through meals.”

“Well, I’ll hope he’ll make some time so I can discuss the children’s developments with him.”

“Oh, if it’s for the kids, he’ll make time,” Yenuno replied. “He’s practically adopted them.”

“I swear, if he thought he could get away with it, he’d forge our signatures on adoption papers,” Amai said sardonically.

“Speak of the devil,” Yenuno said, jerking his head at the open loading space near the greenhouse. A man stood there, surveying the sleeping children for a moment before heading over to the lounge area. He was thin and tall with long, white-blonde hair in a sleek braid down his back. He was pale complected and had a sharp, angular face with bushy eyebrows and vivid, amber colored eyes. His ears had a definitive point to them.

Yep, definitely Celtic fae heritage; you could spot it a mile away. It’s true that the Celtic fae populace had dwindled over the years, though you hadn’t really considered why. You chalked it up to interbreeding with other races or being edged out of their territory. Historically, since fae were immortal, or at least very long lived, they often didn’t feel the biological incentive that mortal creatures felt to procreate. Could their long-held disinterest in breeding have eventually rendered them infertile? That was a startling thought.

“Is this the professor I’ve heard so much about?” Dr. Halvorg asked as he approached. Yenu toddled her way over to him on her short little legs and he picked her up, popping her onto his hip like a pro.

“Yes,” Amai said and introduced you. Dr. Halvorg used his free hand to shake yours.

“Lovely to meet you,” He said. “I look forward to working with you. You have an impressive reputation. I’ve actually been following your progress for quite a while.”

“Really?” You asked, surprised.

“Oh, yes,” He replied, shifting a squealing Yenu to the opposite hip. “You’re the foremost anthropologist in the field currently. You and your team are responsible for integrating over thirty percent of known Neogon races in the last ten years. As a geneticist, as a scientist, seeing the steady expansion and confirmation of known non-human races happen in my lifetime is pretty incredible to watch.”

“Wow,” You said, stunned. “I didn’t realize I had such a reputation.”

“Well, you’ve been in the field for a long time,” He said with a smile. “It’s not surprising that you might not be aware of the impact your work has had on the world.”

You may have blushed, but you’d never have admitted it. Thankfully you were spared from finding a way to follow up that statement by a range of sleepy groans issuing from the enclosure. One by one, the children began to stretch and yawn and make their way over to their parents, the first of which was one of the youngest.

“Mommy!” He said, his curly hair bouncing as he slithered over the lip of the carpeted lounge area. “Who’s that?” He pointed directly at me.

“Osan, it’s not polite to point!” She said sharply. “This is my friend who I told you was coming to meet all of you. Wait for your brothers and sisters to get over here before we start introductions, okay?”

Osan shot across the enclosure to rudely awaken the rest of his siblings. His excited hollering echoed throughout the empty enclosure.

“Ah, youth. I’d love to siphon some of that energy and drink it like an espresso,” Amai said.

“Girl, I hear that,” You replied, chuckling.

A small army of nearly identical naga children came following Osan, curious about you, chattering and craning their necks to get a better look at you.

“Kids, line up, line up,” Yenuno said, wading out into the sea of small clones of himself. “These are the five year olds: Keenai, Tani, Fuma, and Amaia. The four year olds: Nenish, Tahara, and Sadji. The three year olds: Jinsa, Ishni, Chidil, Itheti, and Dashu. The two year olds: Osan and Khuzho. And little Yenu is eight months old.”

“I don’t know how you tell them all apart,” You laughed.

“I have a mole!” Sadji said, pointing at it. “See!”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” You said, bending down to pat his head. He shook off your hand but laughed. You tickled his chubby cheek and he giggled, trying to fend you off.

“So what would you like to do?” Amai said. “I assume you already have a plan.”

“Yes,” You said. “I’d like to interview each child with a behavioral therapist and get a sense of their development levels myself, and then Dr. Halvorg and I will compare notes. I can make my determination then.”

“Sounds good,” Amai replied. “But it doesn’t have to be today, does it? You just got into town. I’d love to take you out for an early dinner, if you haven’t eaten. Yenuno hunted with the kids, so he likely won’t eat again until morning.”

“Sure, I’d love to,” You said. “Dr. Halvorg, do you have dinner plans?”

“Oh, no, I have a lot of work to do,” He said. “Besides, I’m sure the two of you will want to catch up. Please, enjoy yourselves. If you all would excuse me, I have a report to write.” He kissed Yenu on the cheek before handing her back to Amai and tousled a few of the kids’ hair as he passed. “Come along, children. Let’s do our interviews and I’ll take you all out to the playground.”

The kids cheered and followed him down the hall to the offices.

“You weren’t lying, Amai, he is really good with kids,” You said.

“Between him and the volunteers, we never have to hire a babysitter, which is nice,” Yenuno replied.

“Some days, it’s his only redeeming feature,” Amai said with a sour smile. “I still haven’t quite forgiven him for what happened when I was pregnant with Yenu. If I sit too long, thinking about it, I get mad all over again.”

“Think of the eggs, my love,” Yenuno said patiently, patting her belly. “He’s apologized many times since then. You can’t hold a grudge forever.”

“I absolutely can,” She said churlishly. “I understand his job is conserving and repopulating your species, but our marriage is an entirely separate thing and he can keep his nose out of it.”

“Well, let’s get a cheesecake and forget all about it,” You suggested.

“Sound good to me,” She said. She kissed Yenuno on the lips and waved goodbye to him. “There’s a new Italian place that’s got really good reviews.”

“No seafood! Or wine!” Yenuno called after her.

“This ain’t my first rodeo!” She called back.

The Italian place was as good as Amai said it was, and the two of you went to Tumble’s Cafe for dessert and coffee. Tumble had actually been a client of Amai’s when a hate crime had been committed against him. Now his wife and kids had two shops open in town and were doing very well for themselves.

Lucy, Tumble’s wife, was a few years your junior and a mother of three. Amai and Lucy had become close friends over the years and they were both in an interspecies mommy group. You knew of her, since you’d both grown up in the same small town, but you hadn’t actually met her before. Amai told you that the triplets often played with her children at the park, and you had to stop for a moment and contemplate the strange image of bunnies and snakes playing together.

“Is this the professor?” Lucy asked as you came in with Amai.

“Did you tell the whole town I was coming?” You asked Amai.

“I didn’t need to,” Amai replied with a laugh. “Word gets around.”

“What can I get you guys?” Lucy asked, a big smile on her freckled face.

“Coffee and cheesecake to go, please,” You said.

“Oh, no coffee for me,” Amai interjected. “Can I have a decaf iced cinnamon chai instead?”  

“You got it. Whipped cream on top?”

“Yes, please. Where’s Tumble?”

“Putting the kids to bed upstairs,” Lucy said. “Such a good daddy. We’re talking about having more.”

“More than three?” You asked as she handed you a steaming cup of coffee. “I can’t imagine having more than two, at the most.”

“I guess it comes with having a non-human partner who’s used to the idea of having many children,” Lucy said, nodding at Amai, who tilted her head in agreement. “Not all non-humans have litters or clutches, but the ones who do always want more kids. At least the girls are in school now andTumble gave me a good five years before asking for another litter, unlike supermom over here. How’s that going on your end, by the way?”

“That’s why the professor is here,” Amai said, bumping you slightly with her shoulder. “She just got in today. The evaluations start tomorrow.”

“Well, good luck.” She handed you a box that contained two generous slices of cheesecake.

“Thanks, Lucy,” Amai said as the two of you left. “I’m sure I’ll be back in here soon. Tumble’s pastries are the best in town.”

“I’ll tell him you said that!” Lucy said with a laugh, waving.

The next morning, you began setting up for the individual assessments when Dr. Halvorg entered the room.

“Good morning,” You said. “Are you observing with the behavioral specialist?”

“I am the behavioral specialist,” He said. “I have a PhDs in child psychology and clinical psychology.”

“How many degrees do you have?” You asked, impressed.

“A few,” He admitted. “I’ve been alive for quite a long time, so I go back every once in a while to get another, or for a refresher. The education for each degree is much different now than it was fifty years ago.”

“How old are you?” You asked. “I know you’re part fae.”

“Amai told you that, eh?”

“Maybe,” You replied. “I mean, I’m part fae, too, so it’s not like I’m bothered by it.”

“You are?” He asked, looking at you keenly. “That wasn’t in your dossier. European?”

“Russian, and it’s not really a secret. I’m surprised you didn’t already know; I figured Amai would have said something. I was actually thinking you and I should have a conversation about that.”

He looked at you with an indecipherable expression and opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, one of the eldest children came in the door.

“Later,” He said. You nodded.

The evaluations were interesting. The children were advanced for their ages, though Dr. Halvorg told you that was normal among nagas, who had to mature quickly in the wild. Watching them problem solve during the assessment was actually fascinating. They grasped new concepts relatively quickly and were wildly curious. They actually seemed happy to learn new and unusual things and kept asking you about your work with new races. You imagined they got a lot of that exuberance from Amai. Yenuno seemed a great deal more anxious and withdrawn.

The assessments took the entire day, and Dr. Halvorg asked you back to his office to compare notes when they were done.

“I think Ishni is slightly behind the others in his age group, or rather his brothers are more advanced. Honestly, it’s hard to tell with nagas. Their development is so unusual.”

“I would agree,” Dr. Halvorg said. “With Ishni being behind, that is. But it’s nothing some focused work won’t fix. The rest of them are advancing well, based on the available statistics for their age groups.”

“Yes, it’s shocking how quickly they pick up new things. I wouldn’t be surprised if they completed a full curriculum in just a few years.”

“Based on today’s evaluations, do you have a candidate in mind who would work for them?” He asked.

You sighed heavily. “I do,” You said. “I actually know of several that would be good fits. Unfortunately, all of those people are currently under contract.”

“Oh,” Dr. Halvorg said. “I thought you said you knew someone who would be perfect for this job.”

“I said early development!” You replied. “But these children don’t need early development. That’s shapes and colors and numbers and things like that. All of these kids can already read. Even the two year olds! They need more advanced tutelage, and I didn’t realize that when Amai first asked.”

“So what would you recommend?”

You sat back in your chair. “Give me a few days to think it over and make some calls and I’ll get back to you. In the meantime, just go about things as normal. I’d like to observe how things run here naturally.”

“Is that in reference to the search for an educator?”

“No, it’s for my own personal observations,” You said, smiling. “I am still an exo-anthropologist, after all, and quite honestly, the last couple of days have been riveting.”

He grinned. “A woman after my own heart.”

Two nights later, you walked into the enclosure after dinner to a strange sight: Dr. Halvorg reading the kids a bedtime story. He was sitting on the ground in the circle of nests and reading from a big book of non-human fairy tales. Race appropriate ones, of course. It was so unusual that all you could do was lean against the doorframe and listen.

When he finished, he helped settle all of the children and wished them a good night, and set the lights to starlight, with little pinpricks of light shining through the ceiling. When he saw you, he walked over.

“So, no good,” You said. “There aren’t any teachers who can come in on short notice.”

He sighed unhappily. “Well, what now?”

“I’ve decided that until they make contact with the Encante people, I’m not needed, so I might as well make the most of my time here and be the kids’ tutor until I need to go back or a teacher is made available.”

“Really?” Dr. Halvorg said, surprised. “Well, the kids like you, and you’re certainly well-educated. Have you ever taught before?”

“Briefly at E.U.,” You replied. “I taught one year of anthropology. It was nice staying in one place for a while, and the students seemed receptive to me. I only left because I was needed for a first contact situation.” You looked around. “Where’s Yenuno and Amai?”

“Date night,” He said. “They’re off… doing whatever people do on dates these days. I haven’t dated in decades, so I’m not certain what that entails anymore.”

“I could fix that, if you like,” You offered.

He smiled, but tilted his head. “How do you mean?”

“You could go on a date with me,” You said. “Since I’m going to be staying a while and working with you, it’ll be nice to get to know you better. And… maybe more than that.”

He looked like you’d hit him with a brick. He was still smiling confusedly, but his mouth was open and he couldn’t seem to speak.

“You okay there?” You asked.

“Ye--yes,” He stammered. “Forgive me. I… I appreciate the offer, but… I... I, uh…”

“It’s okay to say no, Maël,” You replied, laughing a little. “You don’t have to find an excuse. ‘No’ is a valid answer.”

He laughed a little self-consciously. “I’m sorry. I’ve been married to my work for so long that I just haven’t considered the possibility of dating. It’s… not something I’m interested in. I hope you understand.”

“Of course,” You replied. “That’s completely fine. And if you change your mind, that’s fine too. You know how to get in touch with me. No pressure. We’re both adults, after all.”

“Yes,” He said, adjusting his glasses. “I appreciate that. Thank you for the offer.”

“Think nothing of it,” You said. “I should get back to work. See you tomorrow.”

“Yes,” He repeated. You waved and walked away, unaware of his curious, piercing gaze on your retreating back.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[waggingtongue]

I think I'll pick on my own kind for a bit.

Men are interesting creatures. Not complex or deep, just peculiar. So much of our life is spent trying to remind others that we are still men. We feel it necessary to do so in case they didn't notice our receding hairlines, facial hair, low voices and boisterous behaviors. The first thing we do each morning is not pray or look at our appointment book--we remember that we are guys and review the manual on how to always look, act and be aggressive.

After a cursory scan of "all things male” we look in our favorite mirror that lies as much as we do by convincing us our muscles and pencil are as big as our ego. We say "pish posh" to science that explains why our favorite body part looks its grandest at first light. How fortunate we think we are to have been born so well endowed. A cold shower can quickly puzzle a mans thought process by wondering what happened to his business card. He will have a question mark hovering over his head thinking he has upset the phallic gods. Of course at my age mornings are just "business as usual." I'm lucky if my morning erection shows up by mid afternoon. As my great uncle used to say, "It's hell getting older."

Here is something else about us guys I've noticed over the years. How many times have you shaved and then swum a few laps, walked a mile in the rain, taken a shower and someone had to remind you that you still had shaving cream near your earlobe? Puzzling isn't it? Stranger than science.

Poor men. So full of drive and false bravado to tirelessly qualify daily for the "men's club." Always bragging about their physical parts and how it's a game of inches. These are the same guys that walk into the latrine where there may be a trough 20 feet long with one guy standing at the far end but we timidly choose to hide in the stall to take care of business. If you really want to freak him out, strike up a conversation. There is a reason men don't go to the restroom together...except at sporting events where there is no alternative. Then, we are often subjected to open troughs or miles of urinals with no dividers and a line behind us longer than the one with commoners who weren’t pre-checked by TSA. This is the time when guys have that talk with themselves... there is nowhere to hide. It's showtime: everything is okay...you can do this with the best of them. Just think about trucks, hunting and NASCAR and whatever you do, don't let your eyes wander. Look straight ahead with no expression like you do when trying to convince your wife you're not lying.

Ladies, you might appreciate this. I've heard men brag that they can shoot a deer through the heart with a bow and arrow from 50 meters. Ironically, they can't hit a porcelain toilet with an 18 inch circumference even when their shins are touching it.

God must have a sense of humor. About the time many women are reaching their sexual peak in their 40s, many men are befriending the pharmacist to help recapture their manhood which is missing in action. We are paying good money to find more hair, to join more gyms, to buy motorcycles and sports cars, to search worldwide for what was once so freely ours. Some seek heavy therapy for years...others become writers. Some find it necessary to do both.

It's hell getting older.

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

Talk + Vodka = Truth (Marvel AU)

Plot: AU The Avenger caught the blonde stalking him for the past few weeks and he wants answers.

Characters: Hawkeye/Ronin!Changbin (SKZ) x Yelena Belova!Felix (SKZ), plus mention of Black Widow!Minho, Kate Bishop!Yeji, and other MARVEL characters

Rating: PG-13 (Language, spy behaviors, the Snap/the Blip, Red Room, assassin work, death, drinking, mention of PTSD)

Notes: This one shot is based on the MARVEL x SKZ moodboards I’ve been making for fun. The story is set between the events after Black Widow, Avengers: Endgame, and before the Hawkeye Disney+ show. If you’ve not watched the first two films and wish to avoid spoilers, please skip this story. Additionally, the contents of this one-shot are fictional and were created for fun.

Happy Birthday Changbin!

                                        --------------------------------

“You sure you’re old enough to be here, Kid?”

The blonde rolled his eyes, before reaching into his jacket to produce an ID.

The waiter and the man seated across from him watched as the ID was handed over. The former scanned the front and sighed as he passed it back to the blonde.

“Sorry, guess The Blip screwed you over - you look young for your age,” the waiter apologized. “What can I get you?”

“Vodka,” the blonde replied. “How much for the bottle?”

Changbin raised a brow and stared at the young man seated across from him. This guy could put away a whole bottle of vodka? It didn’t seem right, plus that was pretty unhealthy to be drinking that much. 

“Let me check with the bartender on that,” the waiter said. He turned to face Changbin and asked if he wanted the usual.

“Unless he intends to drink the entire bottle, I’ll take whatever vodka he wants,” Changbin responded.

The waiter excused himself and went to check on the vodka situation.

“Drinking a whole bottle of vodka in one go is bad for your liver,” Changbin noted as he folded his hands in front of him.

The blonde snorted and quipped that Changbin sounded like his brother. The comment made the Avenger raise a brow and he straightened up in his seat.

“The bottle is gonna cost you $35, tip not included,” the waiter announced when he returned.

Before Changbin could grab his wallet, the blonde beat him to it and placed a crumpled $50 into the waiter’s hand. “Keep the change.”

The waiter unfolded the bill and immediately left to grab the bottle and some glasses for serving. The place wasn’t busy for the early to mid-afternoon, but Changbin had a feeling the waiter wasn’t used to getting a larger than average tip during this time. The pair watched as the waiter returned within seconds with the bottle and two glasses.

Changbin flashed the waiter a light smile and told him to take it easy. He slid the bottle closer and opened it, before pouring some of the contents into one glass and nudging it across the table. “So, wanna tell me who the hell you are and why you’ve been stalking me for 2.5 weeks?”

The blonde barely had the glass raised to his lips when he heard the questions. He looked up from his glass and parted his lips slightly in shock. This made the Avenger snicker as he poured some vodka into the other glass for himself.

                                       --------------------------------

About a month and a half after burying Tony and Minho, Changbin noticed that the same blonde guy would show up in various places around the same time. The guy tried to be less obvious with disguises and using remote ways to track him, but after working with Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. for years, the Avenger’s picked up on people attempting to trail him.

Earlier today, he sensed he was being followed and urged his new protege to take Lucky and get somewhere safe. Sure Yeji gave him lip for trying to protect her, but the last thing he’d want is for her to get killed, thanks to someone hunting for him. Once the young woman had left with the dog, he hung around the area and pulled his bow on the blonde, who had a regular sidearm pointed at him. For a while, he tried urging the blonde to drop the gun before he shot first, but the blonde remained defiant with his gun pointed at the Avenger. What made them stand down was the sound of a siren and the blonde looked a little concerned when he heard the alarm.

Changbin made up his mind and told the young man to follow him so they could get under cover somewhere to finish the matter. He chose this hole-in-the-wall place that he visited at times during The Blip, often sitting and brooding over his missing family in between kills.

The blonde swore in Russian and put his glass down. “All right Old Man, I’ll make this easy for both of us. Name’s Felix. My employer told me you killed my brother and that I’m supposed to bring you in. But before I do that, why did you do it? He was telling me before The Blip that the Avengers were his real family, not me or our parents.”

Changbin tilted his head as he looked closely at the blonde across from him. If the kid wasn’t an assassin, he looked like the good kid you’d find in a suburban neighborhood, probably playing sports and making lots of friends. But the Russian, the mention of his brother again – wait, was this...?

“Min,” he offered in a soft voice.

The blonde nodded sharply and he picked up his glass again. “He’s dead, thanks to you. I’d like to know why you killed him, before I decide if I wanna bring you in dead or alive.”

The Avenger stiffened when he heard the accusation. His partner told him to go for counseling after fighting Thanos, as he was suffering terribly from losing Tony and Minho. Talking to the counselor about Minho was hard and the former couldn’t convince him that it wasn’t his fault that Minho insisted he sacrifice himself for the Soul Stone. Telling his kids that their Uncle Min wasn’t coming home was horrible, as they asked where he was and talked about their favorite memories of the red-haired “uncle” they had come to love.

“Do you know anything about Thanos and the Infinity Stones in that goddamn gauntlet he wore?” Changbin asked after prolonged silence.

When Felix shrugged, Changbin sighed and pushed his glass away as he recounted the attempts to stop Thanos from killing Vision for the Mind Stone, losing everyone he knew, then trying to get the stones again to undo what happened 5 years ago.

“It was the shrinking guy’s idea, some kind of time heist,” Changbin said. “Minho and I went to some planet in space, while the others went elsewhere in time for the other stones. We get there, this creepy red skeleton guy tells us that one of us has to sacrifice ourselves –”

“So you chose my brother?”

“YOH! I wasn’t done talking, you little shit,” Changbin snapped as he narrowed his eyes. He took a deep breath and groaned as he tried to explain what happened next. This was the hard part whenever he went to therapy – it was difficult to talk about Vormir without getting choked up and replaying the images of Minho using a stun function in his cuff to distract him, and Changbin trying to grab his hand to stop the former spy.

“Damn it, I told him I was supposed to do it!” Changbin yelled as he slammed his fist on the table. “He actually tried to keep shit together after The Blip. Me, I, I lost it. I lost my whole family. My partner. My kids. All while we were at home, having a normal day. Then I went out and I hunted down every bad guy, every gang, every criminal organization, everyone that survived and didn’t deserve it!”

The Avenger hung his head and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep it together without crying. He could hear Minho’s voice, urging him to let go of his hand on Vormir.

“Let me go.”

                                        “No. Please don’t.”

“It’s okay...”

The blonde took small sips from his glass as he watched and listened to the Avenger. Despite hating his time in the Red Room, he has to give his instructors some credit for teaching him the art of lying and reading a target’s body language. Based on what he’s seeing right now, the Avenger is telling the truth and Minho actually sacrificed his life to save the world. Which means, his employer lied or she exaggerated the story a bit, just to force him to cut his time off short. It wouldn’t surprise him – Val refused his request for a pay raise before handing over Changbin’s information for his next assignment.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m working for a female version of Dreykov, Felix thought. He put his glass down and stared across the table at the Avenger.

“Surprisingly, I believe you,” Felix replied. “Last time I saw my brother, he was going on about how he was trying to do good and forget about...yeah, well he was telling me how great things were with the Avengers before the Accords.” He played with his glass and tilted his head slightly. “You weren’t...dating my brother, were you?”

Changbin jerked his head up at the question and he paused for a few seconds, before laughing loudly. The blonde shot him a quizzical look and Changbin shook his head as he tried to compose himself.

“Oh man no, no way. Min was my colleague and sometimes, he thought it was funnier to ignore most of the shit I said,” Changbin said. “I swear he did it to piss me off, but other than that, we were friends.” He propped his elbow on the table and looked thoughtful as he recalled their mission in Budapest.

“He ever tell you about Budapest?”

Felix nodded and recounted his story of running from Dreykov’s project, otherwise known as Taskmaster, while protecting a serum to remove the brainwashing effect on the other Widows. “He makes me bleed out a bit, then we’re crammed in an air vent. An air vent. Think I saw tic-tac-toe games scratched inside the vent.”

“Wait, in the subway?”

“You mean it was the same vent you two hid in after you tried to kill Dreykov?” Felix asked. “That must have been...”

“Oh that was a weird three days!” Changbin laughed. “He got so annoyed by me complaining that I was hungry and said I was too loud. Once we got outta Budapest, he complained on the Quinjet that it was amazing I had someone in my life at all. But wait, what do you mean by ‘tried to kill Dreykov’? I thought Min said it was a hit – I saw the building go up in flames after the guy’s daughter went in. Don’t tell me that guy’s your employer.”

Felix made a face and he picked up his glass again.

“We’re going to be here a while...”

[iimanga]

The Whole Marvelous Super Ultra Cosmic Magical Comic Book Universe

The produce of imagination and business that was Marvel Comics was a synchronic harmony sounded by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko and every one of the creators and craftsmen and inkers and colorists who worked there. Everything began during the mid 1960's the point at which the Fantastic Four and Spider-man and the X-men (The Uncanny X-Men) were framed from the creative mind of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.

X-men was a film industry crush the previous summer. I'm certain you additionally recall the profoundly effective Hulk TV show.

The most punctual X-men comprised of Jean (Marvel Girl) Gray (who later turned into the amazingly well known Phoenix), Professor X (Xavier), Cyclops (Scott Summers), the insightful Beast (Hank McCoy), and Iceman (Bobbie). Freaks brought into the world with exceptional "super-freak" capacities.

Later came the New Mutants with more youthful characters having freak controls that occasionally appeared to have them (the main sort of comic book story I don't care for).

These characters from X-men including (Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Storm, Banshee, Kitty) advanced with the appearance of the imagination of John Byrne (beginning in issue #108 of X-men) and Chris Claremont (Giant Sized X-men #1 and Uncanny X-men #94 now esteemed at $500. up in "mint" condition. The most famous person was the principle star in the X-men film- - Wolverine. There makes certain to be a continuation for this film industry crush.

X-men Comics instructed kids that bias is shrewd. Individuals who live in dread and in this way eagerness attempt to annihilate what they don't comprehend.

Fascinating that both the latest Star Wars film and X-men film truly investigated lawmakers (Congress). In the event that force undermines totally is it conceivable our framework is totally bad? The Senator in the X-men film took in his example somewhat late.

Insect man- - the new Marvel film in progress - is about a typical young child anxiety (menaces thumping him, not getting any darlings, skin break out, etc is gentle stuff contrasted with the present school encounters -, for example, not having chance and killed while going to or going to the everyday schedule lured by a destructive medication or tainted by a stellar infection) is only nibbled by a radioactive bug (revolutionary stuff for the mid 1960's).

This gives Peter Parker super powers- - creepy crawly controls - whenever intensified a man could lift a truck and convey it 20 miles as insects do. (Try not to get me going discussing Henry Pym the Antman who became Giant Man in the Marvel's Avengers ((Capt. America, Thor the Thunder God etc.))). Add to that Peter Parker was likewise a splendid understudy who had the option to concoct a web shooter and other extraordinary innovations. What's more, Spider-man was brought into the world as a bi-result of the bi-item known as radioactive material (which Science actually doesn't have the foggiest idea how to dispose of). (Take a stab at telling that to the Bush organization). Everything is energy! Recall Tesla curls.

However, Marvel was not by any means the only spot strutting superpowered characters.

D.C. Funnies (Time Warner), as well, used folklore and accounts of Biblical extents to entrain, invigorate and energize ages of youngsters, children and grown-ups from the 1940's to introduce.

A few characters like Superman, Atom, Flash, Batman, Green Lantern, JLA and others and even D.C's. adaptation of Capt. Wonder might have been propelled by profound writing which recounted Hindu Gods and Goddesses and surprisingly Biblical personages who could remain in fire and so forth

Contents and Wit

Superheroes: starting through human creative mind and from writing, folklore, religion.

However most likely comic makers just made up their wondrous stories.

When I talked with Gerry Conway for the Comics Journal he conceded to me that he had investigated a portion of the funnies he composed. Conway's companion accomplice Roy Thomas no question investigated Conan and Thor and other material while author and supervisor at Marvel. They cooperated on the incredible enlivened Fire and Ice film. (Ralph Bakshi/Frank Frazetta).

Also, at first Thomas got the Conan property over to Marvel from Edgar Rice Burroughs in Tarzana, CA. (Tarzana- - Tarzan...get it? That's right, it also is a comic.)

More seasoned society know and love the endless Films and TV shows and serials highlighting these and other most loved brilliant characters: Buck Rogers, Flash Gordon, Commander Cody (which might have enlivened the Rocketeer comic and film).

COMIC BOOKS - Born by the sheer exhurberance of the actual Universe through the vehicle of the Human Being!

The Comic Industry is an analogy forever. An inestimable dramatization unfurling. In any case, not to place old wine into new containers: Many occasions in the past Marvel and D.C. have joined to do specials that helps the play of imagination. I initially met Stan Lee while I was the administrator of a Comic Book Store in Studio City, California in the 1970's.

Or then again, more precisely, I met him through his works at Marvel Comics - his exceptional contents and mind in 1961.

Exceptionally astute association with the fans through clubs and letter sections in bygone times caused one to feel like one was a piece of something. With Merry Marvel "we had a place."

Stan Lee's accounts contained genuine person's, finished with issues and the start of incredible groundbreaking thoughts and standards for carrying on with a decent life.

As when Spider-man didn't stop a Burglar - a similar Burglar who later killed his caring Uncle- - Peter Parker (Spider-man) got the message - serve humankind. With extraordinary force comes liability.

Furthermore, obligation is the capacity to react.

Energizing anecdotal stories loaded with experience and energy with ethics. Outlined lavishly.

Wonder Super characters were at first looked on by society as trouble makers. Even subsequent to saving human butt large number of times.

J. Jonah Jameson (modest Editor of the Daily Bugle paper) has abhorred Spider-person for more than 30 years. Jameson really attempted to annihilate Spider-man by turning into a super reprobate.

Adrenaline junkie (blind Attorney yet Batman-esque in capacities and actual strength and spryness - however with uplifted faculties) the Man unafraid was regularly marked a scalawag too from the start.

Similar to the always well known Incredible Hulk - first deified as a comic book during the 1960's. Who went from dull and idiotic to approach virtuoso relying upon the decade where this suffering person is perused.

What we dread we regularly view as shrewd.

Funnies have attempted to instruct us that the means are pretty much as significant as the finishes they produce.

What we do en route decides the outcome we will get. Funnies are distributed in light of the fact that a word sounds great to the distributer. However, a portion of these new youthful free distributers need to find out about the significance inside these words (thus do their clients). However, more capacity to these ambitious youths.

What is Yoga, Meditation, Tai Chi, Mantra? What is Zen? (One youthful upstart distributer of "Harmony - intergalactic Ninja" had never known about Alan Watts - incredible advertiser of Zen until I let him know Alan Watts was a renowned and famous scholar turned maverick Philosopher and Author (one of many) liable for acquainting Eastern Religions with the profoundly starved West- - frequently heard on KPFK radio. Alan Watts is potentially the chief advertiser of Zen. Watts' book " The Wisdom of Insecurity," specifies, for goodness' sake, Comic Books. What are Chakras? The Tao implies what? When children grow up and find out with regards to Meditation will they be spoiled by our ineptitude and insatiability?

Trendy expressions ordinarily lower cognizance and create turmoil. Obviously when I use to distribute stuff as a young person I made up names that sounded great however had almost no significance, for example, Beyond Infinity, مانجا لاند, Eon the Magazine of Graphic Illusions. I know less now than I did then, at that point. What is make, craftsmanship, Love, Truth?

I held a few signature parties with Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in the 1970's and 1980's. I tossed more than 50 effective signature parties with numerous awesome comic book specialists and authors. I'd have the occasion, give rewards, do all the publicizing, realistic workmanship, official statements, and so forth It was an invigorating encounter. It was enjoyable to cooperate with professionals and fans. I parted with a ton of free promotion stuff.

10th Nebula's first signature party was held with Stan Lee, distributer of Marvel Comics. For a considerable length of time my shop suffered in North Hollywood, CA nearby to the world's most seasoned Science Fiction Club (an inherent crowd of companions and fans and PC monsters).

The Stan Lee occasion evoked long queues of Comic Book devotees of any age slobbering for Stan's mark on the sprinkle page of their old and new funnies. These days experts sign funnies on the front of their title en mass which I don't support. (Yet, who pays attention to me).

Funnies structures are frequently manhandled by hopeful youthful distributers who utilize a few pointless full page sprinkles when the impact could be accomplished in a minuscule board - misuse of cash, ink and paper if you were to ask me. Not at all like bygone times when Steve Ditko gave us our best possible value as around 6 boards for each page - he in his manner resembled a Zen Master - the accuracy of his work matched the craft of Chinese Calligraphy (see his one of a kind style in old Atlas Comics from the 1950's). A portion of the new experimentation's by Frank Miller and different gifts have all accomplished outstandingly imaginative work as well.

[sporadicarbitergardener]

Barker Blood lines of Witches Story

Patriarch Richard Barker, born in England circa 1621, was one of the original proprietors of Andover, arriving in the new world with his wife Joanna in the late 1630s. In fact, he might even be called the first settler of Andover. He was among a group from nearby Newbury and Ipswich who had petitioned for land in 1640. The first recorded business transaction in Andover, dated August 13, 1643, was Barker’s deed to land and livestock.

Barker originally owned 7 acres, then 10, and eventually, 300 contiguous acres, near “the Great Pond,” or Lake Cochichewick, in what is today North Andover. Barker was one of ten freeholders to establish the First Church of Andover in 1645. In August of 2000, Marjorie Wardwell Otten wrote in the Essex Genealogist (Vol. 20, No. 3), “There was hardly any town affair of importance for 50 years on record which does not bear Richard Barker’s name as party to or witness of, petitioner, etc.”

Between 1644 and 1663, Richard and Joanna had nine children. The families of three of their sons (John, William, and Ebenezer) and one daughter (Hannah) were directly affected by the witch hysteria that first arrived in Andover in May of 1692 with the arrest of Martha Carrier, and escalated in mid-July with ever-increasing accusations against Andover citizens. When all was said and done, more people were accused of witchcraft in Andover than in any other Essex County town.

On August 25, arrest warrants were issued for the Barkers’ second-oldest son, 47-year-old William Barker, as well as his 13-year-old niece Mary Barker (daughter of oldest Barker son John). William’s niece-by-marriage, 27-year-old Mary (Osgood) Marston, stepdaughter of youngest Barker daughter Hannah (who became Christopher Osgood’s second wife in 1680) was also named on the warrant. The complaint against all three was made by Samuel Martin of Andover and Moses Tyler of Boxford. Author Richard Hite, in his book In the Shadow of Salem: The Andover Witch Hunt of 1692, says, “This marked the beginning of the second phase of the Andover persecution.” All three were arrested by August 29, examined, and jailed in Salem.

The three Barker relations were accused of “woefully afflicting and abusing” three recently-afflicted local girls. One was Rose Foster, the teenage granddaughter of Rebecca Eames of Boxford (who had herself been accused of witchcraft earlier in August). Rose’s father was Andover constable Ephraim Foster. Another afflicted girl named in the complaint was Samuel Martin’s 16-year-old daughter Abigail. The third person, soon to be the principal accuser in Andover, was Moses Tyler’s 16-year-old stepdaughter Martha Sprague.

By this point, it was widely-thought that confessing was the only way to save one’s life. During his examination, William made a remarkable and elaborate confession, saying “he has been in the snare of the devil three years, that the devil first appeared to him like a black man and [he] perceived he had a cloven foot, that the devil demanded of him to give up himself body & soul unto him, which he promised to do…” William went on, in great detail, to explain that he had, indeed, tormented his three accusers, that he had signed the devil’s book in blood, and that the devil promised to pay all his debts. William said he previously attended a meeting of about 100 witches in Salem Village, where there was a sacrament of bread and wine, led by Reverend George Burroughs and the devil. (Burroughs had been hanged by this time, on August 19.) William even explained the devil’s intentions to “set up his own worship [and] abolish all the churches in the land.” William begged forgiveness for what he had done and promised to renounce the devil.

Thirteen-year-old Mary Barker also confessed to afflicting her three accusers, and said she had attended the witch meeting with her uncle, had been baptized by the devil in Five Mile Pond (known as Spofford Pond today), and she also accused Goody Johnson and Goody Faulkner of witchcraft (both were members of the extended Ingalls-Dane family), and added this colorful detail, “she has seen no appearance since but a fly which did speak to her, and bid her afflict these poor creatures which she did by pinching with, and clinching of her hands, for which she is sorry.”

Mary Marston’s confession was similar to that of her relatives – she confirmed that her uncle William Barker, her cousin Mary Barker, and she herself were witches, that she had afflicted her three accusers, and that she, too, had attended a witch meeting in Salem Village. When she was asked how long she had been in league with the devil, “she now saith that about the time when her mother died and she was overcome with melancholy, about three years since the black man appeared to her in the great room and told her she must serve and worship him. And so she did.”

On September 1, William’s son, 14-year-old William Barker Jr. was also arrested. He clearly had heard the details of the Barker confessions before him, as well as the news of the day, because his story was similar to his father and cousins, and he named recently-accused “witches.” Like his relatives , William Jr. was accused of tormenting Martha Sprague, Rose Foster, and Abigail Martin “which he did not deny but could not remember it.” He said he’d been a witch for six days and, “as he was going in the woods one evening to look after cows he saw the shape of a black dog which looked very fiercely upon him And he was much disturbed in his mind about it and could not sleep well that night.” He went on to describe a meeting with the devil, his own baptism in Five Mile Pond, and his mark in the devil’s book. He also named Mary Parker as a witch (she’d been accused of witchcraft in late August, along with four of her family members) as well as Samuel Wardwell, his wife Mary, and two of their daughters. The Wardwell family had been accused and arrested in late August and were examined on September 1, the same day as William Jr.

The last Barker family member to be caught up in the Andover witch hunt was Abigail (Wheeler) Barker who had married the third-oldest Barker son, Ebenezer, in 1686. On September 7, at the Andover meeting house, the infamous “touch test” took place. It was believed that an afflicted person would be “cured” if she or he touched a “witch.” The evil, it was thought, would flow back into its source. The touch test had been used in Salem examinations since May, but on this day, all of Andover’s accused and afflicted were gathered together at the meeting house. The accused “witches” were blindfolded and were led to the afflicted girls. If the afflictions ceased after touching one of the accused it was believed a witch had been identified. By the time the touch test was over, all of the accused women and men, at least seventeen people, had been confirmed as witches. Among them were Abigail Barker and Mary Osgood (wife of Richard Barker’s lifelong friend John Osgood).

Abigail Barker is particularly remembered for an account of the touch test in “an undated declaration prepared and signed by six suspects [one of whom was Abigail] just prior to the resumption of trials in January 1693,” according to author Richard Hite. All of the accused had been forced to participate, and all were found guilty. Said the remarkable declaration, “…we knowing ourselves altogether innocent of the crime, we were all exceedingly astonished and amazed, and consternated and affrighted even out of our reason; and our nearest and dearest relations, seeing us in that dreadful condition, and knowing our great danger, apprehended there was no other way to save our lives, as the case was then circumstanced, but by confessing ourselves to be such and such persons as the afflicted represented us to be, out of tenderness and pity, persuaded us to confess what we did confess.”

Although the date is uncertain, it is known that after his indictment, William Barker Sr. somehow escaped from jail and fled. As a penalty, his cattle were seized, and his brother John had to pay £2 10s to get them back. (William’s descendant George Barker has a theory that William may have hidden on an island in a nearby swamp, until it was safe to emerge after the trials.)  Once the hysteria subsided, William Barker Sr. lived in Andover for the rest of his life, holding various jobs in town, including fence viewer and constable. He and his wife Mary Dix had thirteen children. William died in 1718 and is buried in the First Burial Ground in North Andover.

On October 3, 1692, John Barker and Francis Faulkner paid the bond for the release of three of the youngest accused: John’s daughter Mary Barker (aged 13), her cousin William Barker Jr. (aged 14), and Mary Lacy Jr. (aged 18). John Barker and John Osgood (whose wife Mary was also accused) later paid for the release of the rest of the jailed Andover children.

Mary Barker and William Barker Jr. were tried and acquitted by a jury in May of 1693. In 1704, the cousins, who had shared such a traumatic experience twelve years earlier, got married. The couple had eight children. They continued to live in Andover for the rest of their lives: William Jr. died in 1745 and Mary died in 1752. Both are buried in the First Burial Ground in North Andover.

Mary (Osgood) Marston and Abigail (Wheeler) Barker were both tried and acquitted in January of 1693. The former died in Andover in 1700, the latter in 1743. Abigail’s husband Ebenezer, who had waited until he was 35 years old to get married, lived to be 95, dying in 1746.

Patriarch Richard Barker died in March of 1693, and his good friend John Osgood died shortly thereafter.

Not everyone involved in the Salem witch trials is remembered in the same way. It’s important to highlight this quote from Marjorie Wardwell Otten in the Essex Genealogist, “Three men of Andover stand out in their efforts to defuse and to bring forth the falsities of the accusations: John Barker, John Osgood, and Reverend Francis Dane.” John Barker, who married Mary Stevens in 1670, was not only one of the voices of reason during the terrible events of 1692, and one of the men who paid to release the accused children, but he was a Deacon of the First Church, became a Sergeant in the militia in 1702, and a Captain in 1708. He died of smallpox in 1732, and is buried in the Mount Vernon Cemetery in Boxford.

What led to the accusations against so many members of such an upstanding and respected Andover family? Sometimes the reasons are hinted at in the records – family feuds, personality clashes, long-standing neighborly accusations. In the Barkers’ case, there is nothing in the records that explains it. Author Richard Hite speculates that there may have been some dispute between the accuser Moses Tyler and the accused William Barker Sr. Their farms were only a mile apart, possibly even abutting, so perhaps there had been previous altercations. We will likely never know.

There are two additional family connections to the witchcraft trials worth mentioning: Rebecca Eames of Boxford, and her son Daniel, were both accused and jailed. Daniel was married to Lydia Wheeler, sister of Abigail (Wheeler) Barker.

The other intriguing relationship involves Andover’s Samuel Wardwell (hanged on September 22). When Wardwell was examined after being accused of witchcraft, he spoke of a disappointment in love from twenty years earlier: “He said the reason of his discontent then was because he was in love with a maid named Barker who slighted his love.” The target of his affections was oldest Barker daughter Sarah, who chose to marry John Abbot instead of Wardwell.

Today, the Barkers remain a pillar of the North Andover community. Barker’s Farm was established in 1642, and has been run by 10 generations of the family, making it the oldest continuously owned and operated family farm in the United States. Barker’s Farmstand on Osgood Street in North Andover is one of our favorite places.

Special thanks to George and Dorothea Barker, and Karen, Laurie, Beth, Dianne and Sam, for their help and generosity researching

[spartanxhunterx]

Bug And Shell(d): The Bubbler.

Normally Nino was excited for birthdays, between him, Kim and Marinette they were often a blast or at least memorable.

Today, however, was Adrien's birthday and Nino was a little afraid on how to proceed, just slightly really.

He'd only known Adrien for all of a few weeks and he felt like he didn't know much about his new bro-friend.

So he had decided to pick out a gift based on a little something that he did know about him. That was wrapped up in the box.

For now though, Nino's attention was drawn to the other item that had arrived with it. All very last minute but he didn't care. Opening the packaging he pulled out his brand new wireless headphones, gone was the plain orange and black colour scheme.

His new ones were custom designed with the outside of each ear piece looking like Carapace's shield, the inside was a dark green much like the darker shade on his costume and the head band came with a soft plush cushion of the same colour.

Overall, not bad and he could always claim it was his way in supporting the heroes, even if he looked a little biased towards his own alter-ego.

As long as their wasn't any harm, then there would be no foul.

 "I'm not as caught up with technology as I probably should be." Wayzz stated as he flew around the headphones, inspecting them. "But I'd imagine these won't last forever, power wise at least."

 " No they won't, " Nino picked up the headphones before pointing to a small cover, opening it to reveal the ports for wires. "That's why these are here, so I can re-charge it and not worry about power."

 he placed them on his neck, feeling a little tension fall out of him at feeling the weight on his neck. He'd gotten slightly stir crazy without his last pair, which he had broken helping that old gentleman, he had almost been tempted to break out the old-old headphones that he kept locked away.

 "That's better, come on dude." He opened up his jacket and waited for Wayzz to fly into the inner pocket. Picking up the wrapped present he tucked it under his arm before he left his room, messing up Chris' hair as he walked past him he called his goodbye as he shut the door.

-

 "Here you go dude." Nino placed the slightly haphazardly wrapped present in front of Adrien before he swung around the table to sit in his seat. "Happy birthday dude."

 " Oh, " seeing that look of genuine surprise on Adrien's face made this worth it, seeing the real excitement as his hands rested on top of the box before he turned to him. "Thanks Nino, you didn't have to do this you know."

 " I know. " Nino leaned back slightly. "I wanted to, you're my buddy after all."

 He leaned forwards, arm leaning against table. "Besides what friend would I be if I didn't celebrate my buddies birthday?" Holding up a hand to cut off Adrien's protesting he pointed to the gift. " Now are you going to sit there all day? Or open your present? We gotta get it done before miss Bustier gets in here. "

Nino watched as Adrien gave in, fingers carefully peeling back the paper as he tried so, so hard to not tear the paper.

Nino was patient though and let Adrien open it in his own time. By the time he was done the standard red paper was half torn off, half preserved and left all over their desk. Not that he minded though.

He saw Adrien peer into the clear plastic, seeing the Ladybug themed wireless headphones that were the same model as his.

It felt a little cheap or unoriginal but when the headphones came with a '50% for a second pair' deal he couldn't not capitalise on that. Besides, now he could also make the argument that they symbolized their friendship as they both had a single set of the pair.

 "100% accurate, Ladybug themed headphones dude. How's that for a B-Day present?"

 "Its... Wow, thanks Nino, I don't know what to say."

Slinging his arm over his shoulder he pulled Adrien into a side hug. "Its cool dude, Don't need to say anything," He smiled at him, getting one in return. "Say, why don't I throw you a party?"

That made Adrien's face drop slightly and Nino's own smile dropped as well.

"I don't know Nino... My father... I don't think he'd allow it."

Nino was about to respond, however, Both Marinette and Miss Bustier had entered the room. Marinette handed a wrapped gift to Adrien as she past him. "Happy birthday Adrien."

" Thanks Marinette. "

Before Bustier could get on their cases about the mess Nino scooped up the torn paper before depositing that into the trash bin as Adrien slipped the gifts into his bag.

 "Alright class, hope you've settled down now. Cause its time we get started."

-

 " Come on man, it's your B-day, Insists. " putting away his tube of bubble mix Nino wrapped his arm around Adrien's shoulder, leaning himself closer to him. "You know what? I'm gonna have a conversation with your pops."

 "Don't waste your time, he's not going to change his mind." Nino shook his head. His best bud wasn't going to go without a birthday party, not if he could help it.

 "Adrien, dude, I promise you, I will get your father to let you have a birthday party. I promise."

 Adrien turned to him, about to respond but was interrupted by Chloé, who had come running from behind them and latched onto him in a sort of awkward hug.

"Adrikins! Happy birthday!" She pulled back and Nino caught onto the genuine smile she seemed to give him. Perhaps Nino was imagining things but he was sure Chloé had been smiling more ever since Adrien had started going to school. It was subtle, but he could see it.

Perhaps her friendship with Adrien meant more to her then people realised.

 "Anyway. I ordered something special for you for your birthday, it should be there by this afternoon... Provided the moving guys aren't lazy or anything."

 " Thanks Chloé, I'm sure I'll enjoy it. " A cars horn went off several times and the trio turned towards Adrien's limo as it pulled up. "Anyway, I gotta go, Photo shoot."

Nino's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "On your birthday? Not cool dude."

The two of them watched as he walked to the car and Nino adjusted his hat so it wasn't loose. "Looks like I've got some business to take care of with Adrien's old man."

"You. Speak with Gabriel? Don't make me laugh Lahiffe, Gabriel would never waste his time with you."

He shrugged at the blonde girl, a small smile etching onto his face. "So? I thought you of all people would have been thrilled that someone was trying to give Adrien a B-Day party. "

 "I'm just saying it how it is." Chloé spoke as she examined her nails. "Uncle Gabe is very stubborn and set in his ways. So don't come crying to me when you can't do anything."

 "I'll keep that in mind... Cosplay."

 " Hey! "

-

Standing in front of Adrien's house made Nino feel slightly inadequate and nervous. Here he was, outside his buddy's house that looked big enough to house his family, cousins and other distant relatives and still have empty space inside.

Given that it was only Adrien, his dad and several staff, he could understand why Adrien was so keen on getting out of the house. It must have been terribly quiet.

Stil, he resolved his nerves and pressed the button on the intercom as Wayzz nestled into the crook between the headphones and the back of his neck for his comfort, yet out of the way of prying eyes.

He was not, however, expecting to have a large camera come out of the wall and nearly smack him in the face.

"Yes? How may I help you? "

Must've been some fancy camera.

 "Uhh... I'm Nino..." He spoke slowly, confusion clear in his voice. "I'm a friend of Adrien's and I was hoping to speak with his father regarding his birthday."

With each passing moment that was silent Nino grew more uncomfortable.

"Please wait, I'll be out there to guide you in a moment. "

within a minute the gates pulled back open and he could see someone walking towards him, he stepped several steps forwards until the two of them met.

"Come with me. Mr. Agreste will see you but only for a moment, he is a busy man."

Ah, this must have been his assistant. Nathalie, if he remembered correctly from when Adrien would take about his home.

The two of them stepped into the front door and Nino's hands shot into his jackets pockets and his hand fiddled with the bottle of bubble mix that was in there. He could feel Wayzz wiggling his way down his top and had to tense to not squirm in front of Nathalie.

Hqer head turned to him with one eyebrow raised but she didn't say anything.

"Nervous. Just a little."

She nodded before peering at her tablet before looking back up at him.

" Mr. Agreste will be here in a moment. "

Great... Just Great. He brought out his tube of bubble mix before unscrewing the cap, his hands fiddled with it as he waited, not spilling a drop.

Even though he knew they could most certainly afford to have to pay someone to clean it up.

Was it him or did the house feel cold?

"Adrien's not home yet." The sharp voice of the man of the house brought his attention to the top of the stairs, his hands freezing in place as he was dragged out of his thoughts.

He suppressed a shiver as he looked Mr. Agreste in the eye, he could feel no warmth coming from those eyes, not like what he saw when he looked in his mother's eyes.

Closing the cap of the tube he swallowed down his fear. "No I know du-Sir. I came to speak with you, actually."

" Me? " There was a shift in his posture that Nino couldn't place and the raise of an eyebrow that made him worry.

"Yes, I came to ask about giving Adrien a party du-Sir, it's his first birthday with some real friends and I think he really deserves to hav-"

" No. " Nino blinked at his cold voice, causing him to stop mid-sentence. "Adrien is my son, and I say what is best for him."

Somehow his eyes grew colder and Nino had to fight to not cringe away. None of the those present in the room noticed as Adrien slipped in behind them.

"Du-Sir. Adrien has been working really hard lately." Slowly Nino extending his fingers as he started his list. "Piano, Photo shoots, fencing, Chinese. I think it's only fair that he gets one day to enjoy himself. "

"Nino?" He turned to his side seeing Adrien next him. " You're here? "

Wrapping his arm around Adrien's shoulders he pulled him closer before before bumping his fist to his shoulder. "Of course, you're my buddy."

" You know what young man? " Looking back up the stairs Nino grew hopeful, maybe he had gotten through to him. "I've just decided that you're a bad influence on my son." Both boys eyes widened at that, Nino's hands tightening around his bubble tube. "In fact, you are no longer welcome in my house ever again, leave."

" Father. " Adrien called out, pulling away from Nino but Gabriel didn't listen as he turned and walked to his study, adjusting his tie as he went.

Nathalie stepped in front of Nino before he could try to follow. "Goodbye."

Eyes darting between between her and Adrien, he took a deep breath in before turning and walking out.

Adrien caught up to him after he was a few steps out and stopped him by placing a hand on his shoulder. "Nino, I'm sorry, my father is stubborn... Thanks for trying though. "

"Its not fair Adrien..." Nino struggled to form his words as he gestured to Adrien, as if he could convey his thoughts that way. "Its totally not cool dude. "

Pulling his strap up his shoulder he turned and stalked away, he could feel Wayzz moving up his jacket again and he simply tapped where he was gently.

-

Plopping himself down on the park bench he pulled out his tube of bubble before taking the wand out and blowing a few bubbles out into the air.

"That dude it straight up not cool."

He switched forwards before resting his elbows on his knees. Trying to regulate his breathing and calm himself down, it wouldn't do to stay in a bad mood.

"But dad!" His eyes shot up, landing on the child who was trying, and failing, to break out of his father's grip.

"No Son, it's not playtime, you've got chores to do." He watched as the boy was taken out of the park before blowing a sharp breath out of his nose.

"Why have parents got to ruin everything man?"

Feeling Wayzz moving around again he opened his jacket enough to let him pop his head out. He didn't want to make him feel like he was trapped, not in the way Adrien was.

"You agree with me right little dude?" He turned his head away as he shook it. " I mean, we're kids, we should be allowed to have fun and be ourselves. "

"While I agree, I must say kids need adults, to guide them through life." Nino didn't stop him from floating out of his jacket, just a little in front of him as he started to look around. "But please calm down, being angry won't solve anything."

"Maybe not but I'm just so... Ugh, " he kicked his leg out at the grass, watching as it bounced back into place with ease.

"Please. Master, copy me. Deep breaths, in and out, copy me."

Nino turned to him, missing the pleading expression Wayzz was giving him before he groaned and rubbed his hand down his face. "You don't need to call me that dude, it's not necessary."

Today had been going so great until now and he couldn't help but feel like it was his fault.

He jerked slightly as Wayzz thumped against his temple. " Nino. Akuma. " The words spoken in his ear caused his head to jerk up, eyes widening as they landed on the black butterfly that was making a direct path to him.

"Woah!" He threw himself off the bench, before backing away from the butterfly without letting it out of his sights.

Why was an Akuma after him? He had a miraculous. Didn't they grant him immunity to being akumatised?

He grunted as his foot hit a upsticking root of a tree and he fell flat on his butt. His eyes darted back and forth as he tried to find some way out of this situation, his arms pushed against the ground as he tried to back away.

"Think happy thoughts!" Wayzz fluttered around him, trying to be both encouraging and hidden. "It can't get you if you're happy."

Happy thoughts? What was his most recent happy thought? Seeing Adrien happy this morning? Maybe Marinette's smile? that made him happy.

He could tell it wasn't working as the Akuma grew closer, his eyes darted to the tube in his hand and he threw it at the butterfly without thinking. As it made contact it sunk into it, leaving it to go a horrid grey colour.

"Ohh... That was close dude. Sorry about that." He kept his eye on it as he fell back to lay down on his back, just in case it came out on his own.

Wayzz landed on his shoulder before patting his check. " it's my fault, I should have warned you sooner, you're not immune to the Akuma's, I should have told you. "

Rubbing his head, Nino gave a slight huff. "Not your fault, I shouldn't have assumed." He sat up pulled Wayzz into the crook of his neck and gave him a one handed hug. "What are we gonna do about that?"

"We need to get Ladybug, then we release the Akuma and she can purify it. Don't touch it. "

 He nodded as he began to stand. Eyes looking around to find the closest place to transform. He didn't want to leave the Akuma unattended for long.

 "No!" His attention was drawn to the centre of the park, the boy from earlier was back and it looked like he was out for round two.

He watched as the boy ducked and weaved around people, doing his best to avoid his father. It looked like he really intended to stay at the park for as long as he wanted.

Which, now that he was looking at it more calmly, didn't look as good as it did before. He Could just imagine himself and Chris in that situation... It wasn't good.

Feeling Wayzz tugging at his clothes he was about to turn away before he saw the kid catch sight of the tube of Bubble mix. His eyes widened as he saw the kid make a break for it, no doubt thinking it was nothing more then bubbles.

"No, Kid! Don't! " Despite trying to run to it first, he had thrown it a good distance and had neglected to move closer in case the Akuma sprung out of it.

He, unfortunately, wasn't fast enough as the kid had picked it up before he could stop him. Hawkmoths symbol appeared over his eyes and Nino could see the discoloration that occurred around his eyes.

 "Kid!" he Stopped before him, hands hesitating to reach for the akumatised object, in case it somehow affect him too. " Don't listen to him kid, he won't help you. "

The boys father stopped not that far from him, seemingly hesitating to come closer. Nino grew hopeful when the boys eyes looked towards him and not spaced out, maybe he did get through to him.

"Yes... Hawkmoth." Oh Speakers, Hats and tables that was not good.

 The dark bubbles clouded around him and Nino scrambled to get a few feet back. As the bubbles peeled away he caught sight of the Akuma's form. And... ugh, it was going to make him sick just looking at it.

The boy now looked like a cartoon character, his top half was a bright red colour while his arms where a solid black, small 'bubbles' were sat around his joints and his legs were the same. He looked entirely like he was made out of plastic.

"Jason?" His father seemed to snap out of his stupor, stepping closer to his son. Nino was torn between running off to transform and staying to try to convince him to hand him the Akuma.

The akuma, Jason, turned his head towards the man with a frown on his face. "My name's not Jason." Quick as anything the boy raised his wrist and Nino saw what looked like a water gun strapped to his wrist , a small tube lead back to a tube looked backpack on his back. "Its bubble boy!"

In an instant a large bubble shot out and captured the man within it, turning it from its original purple to a sharp green, as the man floated up Nino decided that was his moment to finally get away.

-

The sound of an explosion caused Marinette to stumble off her chair with a scream, her dinner going flying, her mother jumped from the noise too.

scrambling to the window she could see both Carapace and an Akuma fighting it out.

"I... ugh, I'm going to my room! To hide!" Marinette scrambled up to her room, not giving her mother a second glance. Said woman stared after her daughter in confusion before closing the shutters on the window, just to be safe.

-

Carapace dodged to the side as another burst of bubbles shot past him, the park had long since vacated she to the Akuma and now it was just him and said Akuma.

"Listen to me kid! This isn't the way. This isn't solving anything, just causing more problems."

The akuma screamed at him, much in the same was all kids did when they were angry before pointing his bubble gum at him. "It's bubble boy! And I say it's playtime, Forever! "

Bubble boy fired off three massive bubbles towards him, two red and one purple. He knew he could deflect the red ones but he also couldn't touch the purple one without getting caught in it. He also would have time to deflect the red ones of he avoided the purple one.

He was about to cast Shell-ter when he felt something wrap around his torso. He was quickly yanked up and over the Akuma, at the peak of his impromptu swing he caught ladybugs eyes from where she was flying before he landed to a skidding halt well behind the Akuma.

"Just as a serious question. Is this going to become a regular thing with you? "

Fluttering down next to him, Ladybug let her yo-yo hang limply. "You're my partner, of course I'm going to protect you."

 "Yeah, but that's my job." He muttered quietly before taking his shield off his back and holding it in front of him. " Be careful of his bubbles, red explodes, purple captures you and they're unbreakable. He's already sent someone high up with one. Akuma's either in the bubble gun or in the backpack. "

 "Right," She nodded, eyes squinting at the Akuma . "Then let's get this done before I'm missed."

 Spinning her Yo-Yo into the air she called out- "Lucky Charm!" - The ladybugs swarmed around each other into the air and came together to form A- "Skipping rope? How's this going to help?"

 "He did say that he wanted playtime to last forever."

Ladybug nodded as she looked around, her nose scrunched up in thought. " Right I got it, " She tossed one end of the rope to him, which he caught. "You ever tie yourself up?"

Catching her meaning he nodded before he brought up his shield, the rope handle in his other hand. "Right, ready?" Receiving a nod he ran forwards, Ladybug floating just behind him.

 "You won't stop me!" Bubble Boy raised his hand at them, a large red bubble forming at the end of the bubble gun. "It will be Playtime!" He launched the Bubble and it shot towards them with speed.

 "Shell-ter! " A small semi-circular shield formed around his shield, protecting their front halves and allowed them to keep moving without removing it.

The bubble hit dead on, causing it to explode against it, the force caused his arm to real back. Instead of fighting against it he let himself be spun, throwing the shield once he was fully turned around again.

it flew through the air until it sailed right past the kids head, causing him to flinch in surprise.

Taking advantage of the momentary distraction Carapace slid to the boys left while Ladybug flew past his right, as soon as both of them passed by his shoulders they turned to loop behind him.

Carapace ended up on his right, while Ladybug was on this left, the skipping rope was looped around his chest and arms, loose.

 "Now!" Both of them pulled, tightening the rope just enough to pin his arms down. Slowly Carapace wrapped his side of the rope around his arm as he moved closer.

Grabbing the Akumatised object he carefully removed it from the boy before violently tossing it towards his returning shield, where it shattered on impact and released the butterfly within. Ladybug released her end of the rope to capture it and purify it.

Carapace relaxed slightly as the boy when more limp in his arms as his Akuma form was stripped away from him. He carefully pulled the skipping rope away before throwing it to Ladybug And pointing upwards. The boys father was still up there after all.

"Miraculous Ladybug!"

 There wasn't nearly as many magical Ladybugs as before, given the lack of damage, but Nino knew he would never tire of seeing them swarm the area.

 "Jason!" And there was the boys father, Nino released the boy and both of them collided into each other in a hug. He couldn't help but smile at the sight. What had he been thinking when he was groaning about the adults earlier?

The ringing of their miraculous brought him out of his trance and he turned to Ladybug as she began to hover slightly. "Not to charm and dash but I've gotta go."

" Bug wait! " He reached out and grabbed her wrost, stopping her from flying away for just a moment. "We need to talk."

Oblivious to Ladybugs face growing darker he looked to the father son duo as she began to talk. "Now's not a good time Cara, our timers."

 " I know," as if to punctuate her point their miraculous beeped again. "Eiffle tower, Tonight, ten thirty, yeah?"

Carapace was so caught up in organizing what he was going to say that he missed Ladybugs dreamy sigh. " Yeah... ok... " Snapping out of it Ladybug shook her head. "I mean, yeah sure, Ten thirty, not a second late."

 Nodding Nino let her go, watching as she fluttered away, chuckling as she looped in the air. Flashing the duo a peace sign he made his own quick exit.

-

Adrien's birthday might have been a bust but he had learned several important things today and Ladybug needed to know about them.

Which is why he found himself waiting on the top of the Eiffel tower, far above where anyone else could even reach. He didn't mind the height, despite how it was a little difficult to actually get up there for him but they needed the privacy.

Especially since what he was going to talk about was not something he wanted any civilian to hear. Lest he cause a little bit of a panic.

He was a little nervous about bringing it up to Ladybug, given that the Akuma was originally after him and he couldn't quite say that without worrying Ladybug and/or revealing who he was. Both of those things were bad in their own right.

The heavy thump of feet hitting metal caused him to spin around, meeting Ladybugs eyes with a nod. "Sorry I'm a little late, didn't want to get caught sneaking out."

Nino chuckled as he shook his head. " Oh, I know that feeling. The paranoia that you're being watched, your heart racing like it's beating its last. I know it well. "

"Sneak out a lot then?" Nino couldn't quite place the look that was in her eyes but he got the impression that she was... Impressed? Or maybe evaluating something about him.

"Not a lot, but sometimes I just needed some air and a walk around, you know?"

She shrugged, her wings fluttering behind her, despite being on the ground. "I guess, sometimes I need new stimuli to be able to work on some of my projects. "

He nodded and the two fell into a sort of awkward silence, he offered with his hands, finger brushing over his miraculous as Ladybug swayed side to side slightly.

"So?..."

 "I learned something today, a few things actually." Slowly Nino moved to the centre beam that stuck up the middle, before hitting his back against it and skidding down till he was sat down.

"We're not immune to the Akuma's bug. " Unknown to him, his words had ripped Ladybug out of her hypothetical daydream of Carapace confessing to her atop the tower.

Thoughts on having a hamster on hold she moved closer before kneeling down in front of him. "What do you mean? "

"Earlier, with the akuma," when he got a nod from her he continued. "The boy, he wasn't the original target for the Akuma." Seeing Ladybug about to open her mouth he held up his hand to signal that he wished to finish .

"There was this other boy, had these sick headphones styled after me, he was upset..." He completely missed the way how Ladybugs eyes widened in surprise, he had not way of knowing that she knew his civilian self. "Or mad, I dunno. "

"Point is, it went for him and he threw... Whatever the item was and it absorbed the Akuma but didn't turn him." He took a breath in as he pulled one of his knees closer. " The boy picked it up, became the Akuma. "

"Oh..." Ladybugs eyes darted around for a moment before she moved and sat next to him, their shoulders touching. "So we can trap Akuma's?"

" As long as no-one touches the item and we somehow get you there to purify it quickly. "

"Ok?..." Ladybug twisted her hand in a Thoughtful manner. " So, how does all that connect to us not being immune? "

"I made an offhand comment to Wayzz, about being glad we were immune. He said we weren't, that Akuma can come for us and we need to be careful."

He shivered as he remembered how close that Akuma had come to him, never again. Noticing the far off look in ladybugs eyes he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and bumped their shoulders together.

His missed as her face began to go the same shade as her suit, hands shaking slightly from the surprise contact. "Don't worry about it too much Bug. Just ask your Kwami to help you find your happy place, that should do it."

 " Yeah... ok... "

Despite it all, Marinette couldn't stop herself from looking at Carapace in slight awe. She leaned into his hold, glad to be able to take advantage of this moment, even if it wouldn't last.

[thewebcomicsreview]

What’s that? I’m talking about Homestuck too much lately? Well, too bad, it updated and I’m-a livebloggin’ it. This chapter contains a content warning for child abuse and I’m thus putting the rest of this post below a Read More, though I’m live blogging and don’t know what the child abuse content actually is. 

Looks like we’re with Jane, so this might be the chapter with Yiffy in it! But probably not, because they’re gonna drag it out. Incidentally, since the rebellion consists of two max-level characters, four god tiers (John, Jake, Rose, and Jade), and now Vriska who is the 8est fighter 8y far, how does Jane even stand a chance? Good thing for her that she pre-emptively took a hostage! 

JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.) JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I do like that Jane, a genocidal human-supremacist dictator, is worried about being “inclusive” in her propaganda. I wonder if she’s starting to drift from Trumphitler into Nancy Pelosi, now. Also interesting: She’s apparently using Gamzee’s death for propaganda value, cool and all, but her superpower is literally raising the dead. I can buy that Jane would rather use her ex-boyfriend for propaganda than revive him, but won’t the people of Earth C have questions? 

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

I realize that Yiffygate made the patreon rocket to the stratosphere, but I hope we’re not actually getting to see her so soon. It’s more fun to speculate. For instance, she’s apparently getting meals in a dog bowl. Is that because she’s literally half dog, moreso than Jade, and is feral in some way? That’s been hinted at a little, but it’s also possible Jane’s just tormenting her to be a bitch. As we saw when she was Crockerfied in Act 6, Jane’s got a bit of a sadistic streak in her.

Well, that was answered pretty fucking fast! Okay, let’s not click next just yet. If we’re only getting one panel to speculate, let’s milk it like a dying webcomic franchise: Preppy bording school outfit, but with cleats, so she’s apparently an athlete. Lots of pink highlights on her outfit (shoes/socks/tie). She’s got a black dog tail, but appears to have light hair? I like this design, actually, or what little of it we’re seeing. I was half-expecting Yiffy to be a full-on Deviantart parody, but I think the angle we’re going here is “a mostly normal girl, besides being part dog, who’s just been absolutely shit on by life and every adult she’s ever encountered”. It’s not her fault her name is Yiffany, y’know? She didn’t ask for this. 

Let’s see how right I am.

JANE: Well, go on then. JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

The fact that this chapter had a content warning for child abuse makes this read a lot more “Yikes” than it might’ve otherwise.

DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???)

I feel like this is actually worse than if Jane put the food in a dog bowl to torment Yiffy.

I told you we’d fall in love with her. I told you dog.

....I don’t know if the MSPA art style lends itself to slightly raised camera angles like this, it looks like Yiffy’s face is 50% forehead. 

*Lore hat on*

Okay, first off, dick move electrocuting a child. That out of the way. Yiffy is communicating in wolf howls (she must be a big fan of Toast, from my webcomic Saffron and Sage!), but she’s also literally being electrocuted so lets cut her some slack. What’s more interesting is that her Awoos are in red. 

Vrissy shares a font color with Vriska, who she’s trying to emulate. They even use the same CSS class in the site code. Tavros shares his with Gamzee, his abusive uncle (and doesn’t have the same CSS class). Harry Anderson has a unique font color that’s pretty close to his dad’s, but isn’t quite the same (possible to make Harry/John chats more readable, whereas Vriska and Vrissy being hard to distinguish is the joke?). Yiffy, however, does not speak in either Jade’s green or Rose’s purple, she speaks in red. It’s a unique shade of red, I checked, and while it could potentially be in reference to Dave, let’s get real

Obviously, she’s the new Handmaid. This was obvious enough that I was making that comparison even before we learned her red text and rebellious personality. So I’m starting to see what they’re going for here (and, god help me, I’m starting to come around to Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley as a concept). She’s not a one-dimensional joke of a character, she’s just a normal girl having a fucking rough time of it right now and also always. Speaking of time, red is connected to the Time aspect, which isn’t confirmation of anything but a little note to put in the back of your pocket.

Also to put in your back pocket, Jane’s the new Condesce and Yiffy’s the new Handmaid. The Condesce killed the Handmaid. 

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over.

That’s some efficient expositing! 

Man, I really am coming around to this Yiffy thing, holy shit. I actually think her reveal last chapter was actively designed to get fans to hate the concept as much as possible, and not just from a Controversy Creates Ca$h kind of way (though that didn’t hurt).The entire fandom has been calling Yiffy a disgusting mistake for three weeks, and now here’s Jane doing it, and we’re being asked to consider this from Yiffy’s perspective: Given a stupid name as a joke, shunted off to boarding school by parents who were ashamed of her existence, repeatedly told she’s a disgusting mistake and tortured, even the fans all hate her on sight, and she literally hasn’t said a word yet! That’s....legitimately pretty cool writing, right there. A deft and entirely intentional juking of the fandom’s emotional state to get us to hate a character conceptually so that now when the comic’s trying to get us to sympathize with her it’s an easier sell because we feel a bit guilty. I dig it. Shit like this is why I still read Homestuck, it can be very clever at times, even now.

(Pierced ears, in case the punky aesthetic wasn’t obvious). Also, the page with a gif of everything going dark as Yiffy passes out has a black background, which is a nice touch.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Then we cut to a chatlog (with the all-black background, which is just really nice here at selling the mood), and even Vrissy doesn’t want to talk about Yiffany.

AG: It was Cute, 8lright???????? AG: Or, at the very least, a 8*cketload less vomit worthy than everything else that Went Down with our parents.

She’s “vomit-worthy”

I think the update that introduced the Candy Kids was the most enjoyable, but this was, by miles, the best thing to come out of the Homestuck EU. It completely redeemed everything this comic did with Yiffy so far and made it all work. And this black-background-no-image gimmick, while simple, was shockingly effective at conveying the lonely empty mood they were going for (admittedly it probably helped that I was already listening to spooky music), and it’s something Homestuck had never done. This was....

This chapter was great. This was Act 5 great. Like, it’s literally just beating up a child for a whole chapter, but in terms of getting the emotional response they wanted, this is Homestuck at its absolute best. It wasn’t just “here’s a cute girl, let’s beat her up a bit for sympathy”, all the stuff in the last chapter, infuriating the fandom like nothing I’ve seen in webcomics in years, Jade’s dog dick, it was all for this. It was all to get us predisposed to fucking hate Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley so that they could flip the switch and make us love her, make the very fact that we hated her so much part of the reason we love her now. No other webcomic would do that, no other webcomic would have the balls to do that. This is why I read Homestuck, this is why I’m still hanging on to this rock has the wave of cheating dog dicks keeps smacking me in the face. This is avant-fucking-garde, man. I’ve done a full 180 on Homestuck 2. I’m sold. I stan. I’m Homestuck trash again. 

EDIT

Oh, and Vrissy suddenly passed out mid-sentence right around the same time Yiffy passed out (hmmm!), and apparently she’s narcoleptic like Jade (hmmm!)