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little-diable · 10 months ago

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Cocky Tornado Wrangler – Tyler Owens (smut)

Finally watching Twisters tonight. My poor aunt who has to listen to me gush about our husband. Thank you so much for the love on my other Tyler fic, I hope y'all will love this just as much. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: There are many things (y/n) would prefer to having to share a room with the man she hates. But does she really hate him? Or will the bed they share be enough to push them closer together?

Warnings: 18+, smut, oral (f), piv, enemies to lovers, lots of teasing

Pairing: Tyler Owens x fem!reader (3.8k words)

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Her voice dripped with exhaustion, eyes tired and ready to flutter shut any moment now. But fuck, she couldn’t give in just yet, had to fight yet another battle with the self proclaimed tornado wrangler who was staring down at her with his signature smirk glued to his lips.

The smirk he wore in every video of his. Videos she watched whenever they were uploaded to his channel. Not that she’d ever tell Tyler that. And god forbid he’d ever stumble upon the saved favourites she watched in moments where she needed distraction from everything but him.

“Well, seems like your prayers were answered, pretty. An EF4 and now we get to share a room, certainly feels like we’re even closer to heaven now, doesn’t it?” Tyler’s hand found her waist to give it a soft squeeze before he gently pushed her further into the motel room. It had been an exhausting day, filled with adrenaline highs as they chased tornadoes until the late evening. Even though they had been mesmerised by the beautiful disaster, they were now forced to stay in one of the close towns, cut off from the highway heading home.

“I can take the couch.” She had her eyes set on the rather worn out couch which had been pushed against one of the walls that were painted in a faded out pink colour. The whole room made her feel like she was back at her grandparents home, letting an almost melancholic feeling settle in the pit of her stomach.

“You sure you don’t wanna share? The bed’s big enough, or I could take the couch.” Tyler hung up his still wet hat before placing his bag down on the bed. (Y/n) watched him take in the room, giving her a few seconds to curse him for wearing a white shirt that now clung to his muscular upper body. His back muscles were shining through the wet fabric, letting her get lost in the thoughts of how it must feel to brush her nails along his soft skin. Thoughts that shot heat straight down to her core, knowing that she’d have to take care of that cursed longing in the shower.

“In your dreams, Owens, and we both know you won’t fit on that couch.” His raspy laugh left her grinning, unable to stop her tired face from reacting to the man (y/n) claimed she hated and yet needed to feel close at any given chance.

“Trust me, baby, my dreams are all about sharing a bed with you and so much more.” With a wink thrown her way, Tyler plopped down on the bed. He studied her for a moment, taking in her wet frame while his tongue kissed his teeth and his muscular arms were locked behind his head. She needed to get out of here, needed to find shelter in the warm shower before her body would do something she couldn’t stop it from doing.

“I’ll grab a quick shower.” (Y/n) didn’t wait for his reply, darting for the bathroom that was just big enough for her to let go of a deep breath.

She hated that she had dreamt of moments like these, wondering how it may play out with Tyler by her side, having to share a bed while the world outside was ending. And all they’d have eyes for would be one another, no matter how many tornadoes called for them.

Within seconds, (y/n) had shuffled out of her wet clothes only to step into the small shower. She couldn’t stop her soft moan from leaving her as the warm water cascaded down her back as if it were hugging her. The silence she was now offered forced her thoughts back to the longing she couldn’t shake, the need to take care of the pulsing between her thighs that grew stronger with every passing moment.

Her fingers moved quickly, knowing that she didn’t have much time before Tyler would disturb her peace, desperate for a shower himself. With her teeth buried in her lower lip, (y/n) let her fingers circle her pulsing bundle, imaging Tyler’s fingers instead of her own.

Would he touch her with the same kind of urgency? Would he draw the same moans from her she oh so desperately wanted to give in to? No, he wouldn’t. He’d make her feel things she had never felt before, clashing through her like a tornado stronger than she had ever been fortunate enough to study. Tyler Owens was her own personal disaster and she was close to letting him rip her off her feet, close to allowing him to have his way with her without being able to protest.

“Fuck,” the word rolled off her tongue all too quickly, knowing that she was already close to giving in to her high. (Y/n) didn’t pay the ache in her forearm any mind, didn’t worry about the way her fingers begged her to move slower, all she was focused on were her thoughts that painted a picture of Tyler and the way he’d touch her.

And with her head rolled back and her lips tightly pressed together, she came. (Y/n) let her orgasm wash through her, rubbing her pulsing bundle a few more times before her tired body found its way out of the shower.

It took her a second to realise that she hadn’t taken any clean clothes with her, drawing yet another exhausted groan from her. Carefully, she opened the door, hiding behind her towel while her eyes found Tyler’s frame. No longer was he wearing his shirt, exposing his muscular upper body to her eyes which tried to burn every inch of his naked skin into her mind.

“Tyler,” her soft voice drew his eyes from his phone. “Do you have a shirt I can borrow?”

She expected a snarky comment, anything to tease her and rile her up some more, but Tyler stayed quiet, eyes focused on the parts of her body that weren’t covered by the door or her towel. (Y/n) could have sworn that he had swallowed heavily first before rising to his feet to reach for his bag. His eyes stayed glued to her while he reached a shirt out for her to take, letting his fingers brush against hers for a moment.

It was cheesy almost, the buzz of lighting striking her at the small contact. A touch so small and yet so significant, her mind would probably think of it for days and nights to come.

With a small “thank you” rolling off her tongue, (y/n) stepped back into the bathroom to put on the shirt, grateful that it was long enough to cover her panties. Trembling legs carried her back into the room, not daring to look at Tyler, whose eyes she felt on her frame. No words were spoken between them as he pushed past her into the bathroom, allowing (y/n) to deeply exhale the second she was left alone once again.

……

The moments after Tyler had returned from the shower, wearing nothing but boxers that clung to his body just as tightly as his wet shirt had, had been filled with a tight atmosphere. Barely any words had been shared between them, not as she had made herself comfortable on the couch, not as he had turned off the light while stretching out on the bed.

She had turned her back to him to stop her eyes from wandering, knowing that no matter how tired she was, her mind wouldn’t let her rest. Not when he was so close to her. Not when she heard his uneven breaths that told her he was still awake. Not when she could easily move closer to feel him pressed against her.

What was he thinking of? Was he still riled up by today’s chase? Or was he also thinking of those moments where he had passed his shirt to her?

Even though she begged her body to stay calm, to not move back towards him, she lost the fight within seconds. Her front was turned towards him, letting her eyes rest on the parts of his body that weren’t hidden by the blanket, making her awfully aware of how close he was to her.

This was unusual for them, quiet moments where neither spoke, where no teasing or bickering could be heard. Nothing but the breaths both let go of while he kept his eyes focused on the ceiling and she wasn't strong enough to look away from him just yet.

“I can feel you staring, pretty.” Tyler rolled his head towards her, eyes meeting (y/n)’s like lightning striking a tree, buzzing straight through it to set it ablaze. “What’s going on in that confusing mind of yours?”

“Just because you’re not smart enough to understand my thoughts it doesn’t mean my mind’s confusing.” The words had left her all too quickly, drawing a gritty laugh from Tyler. A sound she loved hearing, no matter how hard she tried to deny it. A sound that left her smiling the second her ears were fortunate enough to hear it.

“You wound me. I’d say we’re a pretty good team when it comes to understanding your plans.” Heat spread through every part of her body, a heat she was all too used to by now but still didn’t know how to work with. She rolled her eyes at Tyler before refocusing on his handsome features, taking in every part of the face she knew like the back of her hand.

Her breath hitched in her chest as he lifted the blanket, patting the spot next to him, “Come up here, I don’t need you complaining about back pain tomorrow.”

(Y/n)’s body moved without holding back, crawling to the spot next to him as if she had done this numerous times before. It felt awfully right to lay next to him, to feel Tyler’s arm slowly wrap around her middle to cage her against his chest.

“Do you remember the first time we chased together?” She tried to stop her hand from moving as he spoke, she really did. But yet (y/n) miserably failed, unable to keep away from his soft skin any longer, needing to feel it beneath her wandering fingers as she traced slow patterns on the skin of his warm chest.

“I wanted to break your nose that day, god, you were even cockier back then. Do you still think people instantly recognise you when you meet them?” He shook his head with a smirk playing on his lips, tightening his grip on (y/n) as she shuffled even closer. That day was replaying in her mind every now and then, remembering how he had misjudged her for a fangirl, expecting her to almost faint when shaking his hand. And yet she hadn’t known much about him, had never watched any of his videos before that day. Something Tyler hadn’t taken as lightly as he should have, turning into the cocky asshole she had cursed for the past months.

“I no longer care about that, only worry about impressing you, pretty.” He pressed a kiss to her hairline before he let his eyes flicker back to the ceiling. His sharp jawline was exposed to her wandering eyes, making (y/n) awfully aware of how easily she could kiss him right now. It took everything in her not to move, to hold still as her heart picked up its beat. Whatever it was that had urged her on to fight against him these past months, it was now gone, leaving her unable to fight back and in need of something more.

“We both know that’s a lie, Owens. All you worry about is tornadoes and busty women who ask you to sign their cleavages.” Her laugh was mixed with his as he let his gaze find hers again while squeezing her side. She fought against his grip, hating that he had found her most ticklish spot that made her toss and turn against him. Tyler seemed to enjoy the sight, letting his fingers find the spot again while shifting her around to hover over (y/n). With one hand pressed to the pillow and his knees caging in her right thigh, he left her no room to move away from him.

“Do I hear jealousy?” His eyes wandered over her face, focusing on her lips as she fought against the need to look away. “You know there’s no need to be jealous, pretty. All you gotta do is give in and stop fighting our bond.”

A sharp reply was burning on her tongue, and yet her body managed to win the fight, letting her fingers find the back of Tyler’s neck to pull him in for a soft kiss. He instantly replied to the touch, adding more pressure to the kiss with his body shuffling closer. It felt as if they were burning, tied together like two matches setting a petrol station ablaze, ready to alight the darkening night.

With every swipe of his tongue, with every moan rumbling through them, it set in further that this was finally happening, that they were finally crossing that last bridge. No longer was she set on fighting it, purely focused on Tyler’s touch and the need to feel him as close as humanly possible.

“Talk to me, baby, what do you want?” Her mind was torn between the kisses they kept sharing and the feeling of him growing against her thigh, telling (y/n) that he needed and wanted this as much as she did. Her fingers combed through his hair, letting her nails scratch his skin with just enough pressure to leave him tingling in excitement.

“Everything, I want all of you, Tyler.” Hours ago she would have cursed herself for giving in so easily, for admitting that insatiable hunger she had felt for months now. But she no longer found it in herself to care, could no longer shy away from having whatever Tyler was about to offer her. Her words drew a groan from the tall tornado wrangler who kissed his way down her throat while shifting his weight onto his knees. They held eye contact as his hands disappeared beneath the shirt of his she was wearing, finding their way straight to her chest.

“Fuck, feels like you were made for me, every part of you.” His praises sank in like a ship hitting the ocean ground, sinking lower with every passing second, forever resting on the ground like the praises he spoke to her. Forever etched into her mind. Forever remembering the way they made her feel lightheaded and giddy.

Urgently he pulled the shirt over her head, set on exposing her body to his hungry eyes. Tyler let go of another groan as he looked down at her, making a silent promise that he’d have to take a picture of her in that position one of these days. He dipped his head down to suck on her nipples, making her moan for him while she spread her thighs for him. His core met hers, leaving both breathless as his clothed cock rubbed against her clothed heat – a feeling so intense, it only urged Tyler on to move further down her body.

“Will you let me taste you, pretty?” Only a breathless “Please” left (y/n), drawing a smirk to his lips. She watched his eyes light up as he pushed her panties down her legs, looking like he was marvelling at art – art so mesmerising he couldn’t stop staring.

“Let me make you feel good, baby.” Those were the last words Tyler spoke before his tongue brushed her folds, drawing a moan from the both of them. His arms wove their way around her thighs, keeping her pressed to him as he ate her out like a starving man, high on her taste and the sounds she made for him.

Nothing but moans managed to leave (y/n), getting lost in the feeling of Tyler sucking on her pulsing bundle, while he pushed two fingers into her – doing just what she had imagined him doing in the shower a while ago. He instantly managed to find that spot that made her see stars as he pressed down on it with his fingers, forcing (y/n) to choke on her sounds.

“Oh god, Tyler,” he chuckled against her skin, letting the sound vibrate through every part of her. From the corner of his eyes he could see her fist the covers with her free hand, the one that wasn’t buried in his hair, telling him that she was already close. And yet Tyler knew that he’d pull away soon, wanting to feel her cum around his cock like he had imagined her doing the past months.

Tyler had worked hard for her attention, knowing that he had fucked it up the first time they had met. She had instantly managed to push him off his high horse, bruising his ego with her sharp words he could still recite today. And yet it had only made him desperate for more, set on pulling her closer like no other woman before her.

“I could die a happy death between your thighs, pretty, but I need to fuck you now.” The dazy look she shot him made him feel proud, knowing that she had been about to cum on his tongue. She didn’t reply, at least not with words, with nothing but a whine did she pull him towards her for another kiss. He shuffled out of his boxers, freeing his twitching cock with a few movements.

“Let me grab a condom.” He left her side for a moment, allowing (y/n) to sort through her thoughts which were all over the place. And yet she couldn’t carry about anything but the need to feel him buried inside of her, knowing that once she knew what it feels like to have him so close, she’d never be able to let him go again. A thought that left her torn between excitement and anxiety, unsure what was awaiting them.

“Do you still want this? We don’t have to do this if you’re unsure, (y/n).” Tyler’s whispers ripped her out of her spiralling thoughts. She shook her head at him before pulling back in, focused on his handsome face, mustering every spot she could blindly find.

“I want this, want you.” That’s all he needed to hear before aligning himself with her heat and slowly pushing into her. With his forehead pressed against hers, both needed a moment to adjust, not expecting to feel this, unable to put the sensation into any words that would make sense to their minds. It felt like they had been made for one another, made solemnly for this moment that felt as if the world had spinning, thrown off its path.

“Move, please, Ty’.” He instantly gave in, pulling out of her only to push in with more strength. Their bodies met with every ferocious thrust, sending bolts of electricity down her spine. She arched her back off the mattress, needing to be even closer to him while he kept burying himself inside of her.

Blood rushed in her ears, drowning everything out but the sounds Tyler made, sounds so raspy and deep she feared it was another tornado growing in the distance, guttural sounds which left her walls fluttering around his cock. Her fingernails scratched at his shoulder, set on leaving red marks that wouldn’t fade for days, claiming him in the most primal way she could come up with at that moment.

“God, I can’t wait to fuck you like that for the rest of my life.” The words roll off his tongue just like that. There was no way he could stop them from leaving him. And for the first time in minutes she finds herself ripped out of her state, staring up at him with wide eyes. But Tyler doesn’t say another word, all he does is study her while fucking her closer to the edge.

“Do you mean that?” She struggled to speak, needing to ground herself before choking on her words. Their eyes kept holding contact, even as he nodded his head while watching a smile grow on her slightly swollen lips. “Good, I don’t want you to let me go again, Owens.”

He took the words as a challenge, adding even more pressure to his thrusts to throw (y/n) back into her dazed state. With his fingers circling her pulsing bundle, he knew that it was only a matter of moments before she’d cum around his cock, allowing him to take in the most beautiful sight he’d ever be fortunate enough to see.

His name left (y/n) one last time before falling off the edge. His hips kept meeting hers, fucking her through her high while feeling his own crawling closer. She clung to him, murmuring his name like her own personal mantra as he followed her, letting go with a groan she’d forever remember.

It took both a moment to move again, for him to pull out of her and to get rid of the condom and for her to slightly shift around on the mattress, watching his every move with her weight balanced on her forearms. Tyler found his way back to her within seconds, hovering over her to press another kiss to the lips he’d never get tired of kissing.

“Are you okay?” His whispers left (y/n) grinning, nodding against his lips while another wave of euphoria swapped through her.

“More than.” Unspoken feelings were hanging heavily in the air, knowing that both would have to address them rather soon, but all they did was look at one another, marvelling at the person they never wanted to let go of again. “Thank you for this.”

“Nothing to thank me for, pretty. And hell, I’m not even close to being finished with you tonight.”

#Tyler Owens smut #Tyler Owens x reader #Tyler Owens imagine #Glen Powell smut #Glen Powell imagine #twisters

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11hedonistic · 1 year ago

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Astrology Observations 🌴

air venus/air mars are usually the type of people to fall for the friends or find nothing wrong with having a fwb (friend with benefits)

venus touching the ascendant (no matter the aspect) can manifest a beautiful appearance (same with mars but with mars, i would say this gives more of a sex appeal vibe)

scorpio moon/mars definitely wins the title for holding grudges the longest/being the most unforgivable if you cross them

i realized that a lot of aries mercury people don’t really think before they speak😂

taurus mercury people are those type of people to repeat what they already said just to make sure everyone understood

my gemini mercury people.. i know how hard it is for you to stay focused. you’re doing great reading this sweetie

cancer mercury people have craaazy intuition

if you’re looking for someone to tell a good story, find you a leo mercury!! these people are such good story tellers 😂

virgo mercury people can be brutally honest people when giving advice, which can hurt people in the process but that’s not their intention most of the time!

if you need a mediator during an argument, find u a libra mercury. they’re always looking at both sides of an argument

scorpio mercury people can become very rude/disrespectful if they feel annoyed or bothered. especially if they have sag/cap placements.. scary

sagittarius mercury people almost always come off as too blunt

capricorn mercury people, how often are you put in leadership positions? 🤔

aquarius mercury people and their way of coming up with ideas no one else could think of >>

pisces mercury people.. you and that imagination of yours. always in your head. i know you enjoy living in your imagination dont you (my neptune 3rd house can relate so you’re not alone lol)

taurus moon + scorpio venus lovers >>

the best omg this guy that im talking to right now has this combo and he’s always spoiling me with gifts, mind you we’re not even dating 😂 and they’re SO observant. like i play my music around him sometimes and yesterday he literally surprised me with a playlist of my favorite songs & his favorite songs (he’s moving away so he made it for me to listen while he’s gone when i miss him 💔) but wow. if you want real love, these people are it

pluto 4th house people.. how’s your family/home life?

pluto 1st house people.. how many times has it felt like you killed your old self just to make a new one? coming back stronger and stronger each time of course

im soo tired of this gemini venus slander and saying WE CHEAT! we dont cheat we just lose interest fast if you’re boring or fail to keep our brains stimulated. just dont be monotone/boring, make us laugh & we’ll be willing to work on the connection 😁 its also just that we dont really deal well with a bunch of intense emotions being thrown at us. give us time

capricorn moon people.. are you ok? and dont lie to me

scorpio suns.. how is your relationship with your father?

i saw someone say how saturn in 1st house people hate the inverted filter & they were nott wrong. my sister has this placement and she despises it. always picking at every single flaw she has whole time she looks fine lol

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angstywaifu · 3 months ago

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Black Dahlia - 33. An Unlikely Hero

Summary: Celebrations for Reunification Day are well under way. But it's not a day for all to celebrate. Something a certain family member makes sure she doesn't forget.

Garrick Tavis x OC (Dahlia Aetos)

Black Dahlia Masterlist | Masterlist | Support Me

The party was now in full swing, the crowd a mix of pale blue, cream, navy blue and black. The one time of year all the Quadrants interact in celebration of our win over the rebellion. I wave at Austin, Liz and Kai who are with the rest of our squad. I want more than anything to go join them, but I’m stuck with Dain for the evening. Garrick was right, for someone who normally didn’t care about people I sure gave a damn tonight.

”Well I hear you two are excelling in the Quadrant.” A familiar voice says from behind, turning to see General Sorrengail looking at Dain and I. “Sounds like I have some promising prospects for our front line when you two graduate.”

”Thank you General. Hopefully we can serve our nation proudly.” Dain says with a smile I swear he reserves for when he’s sucking up to his superiors.

”I’m sure you will. With signets like yours on our side, nothing can stand in our way.” She says with a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. She almost looks… worried. Why would she be worried? “Anyway, I have a lot of people to see. Enjoy the night.”

I watch her leave, unable to shake the look in her eyes from my memory.

”I see your usual entourage are missing.” Dain notes as he scans the crowd.

I scoff, “Can you blame them? Were celebrating the death of their parents. If you were in their shoes would you want to be here?”

He narrows his eyes at me. “They aren’t the only ones who lost someone on this date.”

Ouch, low blow. And he knows it. I swear I see regret in his eyes before I turn, his hand grazing mine as I walk away, heading for the staircase I know will take me back up to the corridor leading back to the quadrant. I hear him call out to me but I ignore him. He knows I am well aware what today means for us. It had been years since I’d been reminded due to this celebration taking priority. But I still fucking knew.

”Disappointing. Just like always.” His cold voice drawls from behind me as I reach the corridor.

I turn and see my father leaning against the wall, his gaze down on the crowd below. He’d been watching me. Probably waiting for me to sneak off.

”Like I said in that tower, I’m use to being this disappointment. Just another day for me.” I tell him sternly, noting the tick in his jaw at my words.

”And always will be it seems.” He states as he turns his attention to me. “First your mother. And now you fall in with that lot.”

”You know that day wasn’t my fault.” I hiss at him as I bawl my hands into fists at my side.

”It was entirely your fault. If you hadn’t gone running off with those infantry boys, nothing would have happened. If you had been in training like you were meant to, nothing would have happened. And today wouldn’t be tainted by what you did.” He snaps at me as he stalks over to me.

”I didn’t throw the rock!” I nearly yell at him, instantly regretting it as fury washes over his features.

”You might not have thrown it but you were the reason it was thrown. And you chose to throw yourself in with those marked ones. You made those choices, and you will deal with those consequences.”

I shake my head, chuckling nervously at his words. “Trust me, I deal with them every day thanks to you and your lies. But don’t worry, those marked ones you’re so worried about aren’t an issue any more.”

I hated to speak the words, but they were true. I’d already noted how Xaden had been more reserved around me. How much quieter Bodhi had gotten with me. Even Imogen had been around less at training. Either due to me reverting back to the usual cold demeanour I’d had prior to coming here, or due to what had happened with Garrick. Either way, I’d already noted the shift since that night.

”Ah, they finally figured out the disgrace you are. They were going to find out eventually.” He sounds almost pleased by the idea.

”She’s not a disgrace.” Someone calls from behind me, my body going rigid at their voice.

No. Why the hell was he here? He shouldn’t be here. Not today. He should be far away from here. He didn’t celebrate today, and he’d made it clear what he thought of me attending. And yet he was here. Right behind me and…. defending me?

”Please, that’s rich coming from someone like you.” My father shoots back as he narrows his eyes while looking over my shoulder.

”Well aware. But she’s not a disgrace.” Garrick states, his footsteps getting closer and closer.

”And what would you know about her?” My father says cockily, as if he has the upper hand.

”A lot more than you it seems. She’s strong, determined and a hell of a strategist. Hell she’s been running circles around me all year with out blinking an eye.” Garrick rattles off with ease. “And it’s not just me she’s doing it to. She could probably run circles around most of the Wingleaders without a second thought.”

”She’s only like that because of me.” My father lying through his teeth.

”No.” I say loudly, my father shifting his attention to me. “None of that was because of you. All of the was because I was trying to get your approval. When I was young and naïve enough to think if I could do better than Dain that you would love me again.”

”There is nothing you could do to get my approval after killing your mother.”

The words leave his mouth so easily I barely register what he’s said at first. But he said it. He said the words he’s only ever spoken to Dain and I. I look over my shoulder at Garrick who is right behind me, as if standing guard. He doesn’t even seem phased over my fathers words.

”Is that what you tell yourself at night to make you feel better?” Garrick says without missing a beat.

My fathers eyes meet his again. “How dare you speak to me like that cadet. How dare you stand there act like you know better than me.”

”And I will continue to do so, because it’s abundantly clear you know nothing about your own daughter.”

As I look at Garrick, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this angry. Not even at me. The way he looked at me earlier feels like nothing to how he’s glaring at my father. He was the epitome of if looks could kill. And for the first time since I was a kid, I was actually worried for my father. But I can’t help but feel something else. A feeling I can’t describe because I’ve never felt it before. Not even an hour ago Garrick was pushing me away, being completely shut off to me. And now here he was defending me like I mean something to him.

”And you think you do?” He snaps back at Garrick.

Garrick fucking smirks at my father while crossing his arms across his chest and leaning towards him as he looks down at him. “Definitely. Because if you did you’d realise how amazing she is without any of the so called help you denied her of.”

My father scoffs, taking a step back from Garrick and I. And with a shake of his head he turns and marches down the stairs I’d just come down from. I breathe a sigh of relief as I watch him disappear into the crowd below. Garrick might have won this one for me, but I knew this was far from over. Especially with Garrick stepping in.

I turn and look at Garrick, unsure what I should say. There’s a part of me that wants to yell at him for defending me like that and stepping in. But there’s another part of me that isn’t quite sure how to feel about it. No one had ever defended me like that. Especially not to my father.

”Why?” I ask him finally as I turn to look at him.

Garrick shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes flickering with something I can’t quite place. Hesitation, maybe. Or guilt. “Because it was the right thing to do,” he says simply. “No one should talk to you like that, not even your father.”

His words hit me harder than I expect them to. I cross my arms, partly to shield myself from the sudden vulnerability I feel and partly to keep my hands from trembling. “You don’t understand. It’s… complicated. My father and I—”

“It doesn’t matter how complicated it is,” he interrupts, his voice firm now. “Respect isn’t something that should come with conditions. You deserve better than that.”

I blink at him, stunned. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. The air feels heavy between us, and for a moment, I don’t know what to say.

“I didn’t ask you to fight my battles,” I murmur, though the words feel weak as they leave my mouth.

Garrick lets out a soft laugh, but there’s no humour in it. “You didn’t have to ask. Sometimes, people need someone in their corner, even if they don’t realise it.”

I look away, the knot in my chest tightening. I hate that his words make me feel seen in a way I’m not ready for. “You’re awfully quick to play the hero,” I say, trying to keep my tone light, but it comes out sharper than I intend.

“I’m not trying to be a hero,” he says, his voice softening. “I’m just trying to be… someone you can count on.”

The sincerity in his voice disarms me, and I feel my defences crumbling, piece by piece. I shake my head, letting out a shaky breath. “You don’t even know me, Garrick. Not fully.”

“Maybe not yet,” he admits. “But I’d like to. If you’ll let me.”

I nod, dropping my gaze to the ground as I try to figure out the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside my head. Which wasn’t uncommon in the last few weeks and months since that night in the gym. I look back up, Garrick’s hazel eyes already on me, watching and waiting. There’s a softness and warmth to them I’m not use to seeing and it sends my heart into a chaotic rhythm. The last time he looked at me like this was in that tower after I’d used his signet.

”Garrick….” I start, but I’m unsure what I want to say to him.

”It’s ok,” he says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “You don’t have to say anything.”

But I do. I want to so badly. But I have no idea how to put into words the whirlwind of emotions I’m feeling. Instead I take a step closer, feeling the space us shrink, my heart now pounding loudly, so loud I’m sure he can hear it. Because it’s all I can hear right now.

He doesn’t move an inch, watching as I step towards him. But his eyes flicker down to my lips for the briefest second, enough to make my breath catch. I swallow hard, trying to stop the slight shake that has started in my hands. Before I can stop my self I raise my shields, closing this distance between us as I grasp his flight jacket in my hands and pull him down to me, pressing my lips to his. Fuck it.

@imtoanonymousforyou @simplyme-fornow @omalmal @lalaluch @wolfbc97 @leptitlu @fullmoon-94 @the-fandom-ness @fan-of-many-bands @awkardnerd @heeseungthel0ml @acourtofsmutandstarlight @fairchild06 @freyagallileaevans @pit-and-the-pen @hannraumari @elliot-rain @thestarseternaal @stupid-and-contagious01 @hyperfixation-train-station @lxnvmvrzx @thebreadisthetruevillian @red0202 @fangirling-galore @craftytrashprincess @taliyahvermillion @xadenswhore @fenixyrie @lagrandeourse @hellodarling1357 @iambored24601

#fourth wing #fourth wing fanfic #the fourth wing #garrick tavis #the empyrean #fourth wing imagine #garrick tavis imagine #garrick tavis x reader #fourth wing x reader #garrick tavis x oc #garrick tavis x dahlia aetos #dahlia aetos #black dahlia #dain aetos #xaden riorson #colonel aetos #bodhi durran

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crowsofdarkness · 4 months ago

Text

Soldat: Chapter Three

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader. Slight Steve Rogers x Female Agent! Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, kidnapping, violence.

Summary: Agent Y/N has worked alongside Steve Rogers at SHIELD for some time all while keeping a dark secret from everyone. Until one day that darkness faces her head on and she's forced to make a choice. Continue fighting along side Captain America? Or find her home once again with Soldat?

Authors Note: This was originally published on my old blog as a trilogy so I will be in the slow process of adding it to this blog. This is the first of the trilogy and will take place during The Winter Soldier. If anyone is interested in being tagged, let me know!

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox

Soldat Masterlist

The bickering had reached a whole new level of annoyance. Natasha wanted to jump right into the fight; for Nick. Steve wanted to think about a plan of action first. He hated not having a plan. And Steve’s new friend, Sam, was fine with whatever we decided; he was happy to help in whatever way we needed. I, however, did not want to do anything. I sat at the table in Sam’s kitchen with the rest of them, chipping away at my nail polish, trying to drown out their voices knowing they would try to make me choose a side.

It had been one hell of a 48 hours. After Steve and I barely managed to escape Shield Headquarters, Natasha, and I found what was on the hard drive Nick left Steve; a location in New Jersey. Come to find out it was where Steve was trained for the war; pre serum. And what we found there was something that still wasn’t sitting well with any of us.

Hydra had infiltrated Shield years ago thanks to Dr. Zola and had been creating weapons that could be used to eliminate millions of people all over the world. We had also found out who had killed Nick, granted I knew before any of them but decided not to tell them.

The Winter Soldier.

Once Shield had found us in New Jersey and after dropping a bomb on us literally, we made it back to D.C and were currently hiding out in Sam’s house. I was tired, hungry, and desperately needed a shower however everyone was bickering about what our next plan of action needed to be.

I continued to remain silent, hoping that Steve could make the decision without me. I had seen a lot of shit during my years on Swat and in the FBI. I also faced a lot of scary things but nothing scared me more than the Winter Soldier and I was not about to tell my team why.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” I reluctantly looked away from my fingers and rested my eyes on Steve’s face.

The bags under his eyes were heavy and his shoulders were heavily weighed with the guilt of everything happening. We both needed to rest before we did anything drastic.

“What do you think we should do?” He questioned.

They waited patiently for my answer, causing me to groan.

“Please don’t make me choose,” I begged while pushing away from the table, “I need some time alone.”

Ignoring their stares, I walked down towards one of the spare bedrooms Sam allowed us to stay in and fell onto the bed with a large groan. My body started feeling heavy, darkness starting to engulf me in sleep, and I almost succumbed when voices in my mind awoke me with a start.

Soldat? What are you doing here?

You need to leave now.

No, I’m not leaving you. I lo-

“Y/N?”

Raising from the bed, I leaned back on my elbows and gave Steve a weak smile. He was leaning against the door frame, the muscles in his arms tensing as he crossed them over his chest.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“Yeah. I’m sorry for snapping earlier. I haven’t slept in over 21 hours and my body feels like it’s been thrown through the ringer. I need a massage and a hot shower,” I admitted while rubbing my shoulder.

Steve nodded towards the bathroom that was attached to the bedroom. “I was about to shower. You can go ahead.”

Sucking in my bottom lip between my teeth, I took in his appearance, suddenly wishing I could see him underneath the stream of water. He was only wearing his jeans with a white tank top and I fought the urge to suggest that we should shower together.

“Or you could join me. Save water, ya know?”

Fuck.

Steve’s eyes widened at the request and coughed, trying to hide the arousal that pooled in his stomach. “I’ll just use the shower in Sam’s room.”

My cheeks burned in embarrassment when Steve turned me down and I simply nodded before dragging my feet towards the bathroom.

“Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I mumbled.

“Y/N-”

Steve’s voice called as I slammed the door shut behind me. A twinge of guilt pulled at my heart for snapping at him but I was embarrassed that I had even suggested that in front of him with everything going on. I should have been worrying about what our next steps were going to be, not having shower sex with Steve

Groaning out in pleasure, I let the hot water cascade down my body, the dirt and sweat rinsing away with ease. Not wanting to be rude and use up all of the hot water, I stepped out a few minutes later wrapping a towel tightly around my chest.

“Y/N?” A soft knock sounded on the other side of the door.

Natasha.

“Yeah?” I called back.

“There’s some fresh clothes for you on the bed. Sam said an ex of his left a bunch of her clothes here so they’re fair game.”

Even though I couldn’t see her, I knew Nat had a smug smile on her face.

“Thank you, I’ll be out in a minute.” I giggled.

Once I knew I was alone again, I used my fingers as a comb to untangle the knots out of my hair before leaving the bathroom, shutting the light off behind me. My feet padded against the carpet but came to a halt when I saw the figure walk through the door, a towel wrapped tightly to his waist.

Steve jumped a bit when he saw me, not realizing I was out of the shower yet.

“Sorry! Nat said she had some clothes for me in here,” He apologized.

“Of fucking course she did,” I scoffed.

Silence fell between us as we both stared at each other. Steve’s hair was pretty damp still, water running down his broad chest, and I had to lock my feet into place to stop myself from running over to him, licking up the little drops of water. The sexual tension between us was getting thicker each second that passed and Steve had to discreetly adjust himself under his towel .

“Did the shower help?” His voice came out raw and husky.

Licking my lips, I shook my head. “I still think I could have used some help.”

Steve’s body went rigid and slowly nodded. “Sorry.”

“Next time,” I jokingly suggested.

“Definitely.”

Steve’s eyes went dark with lust as they grazed over my exposed skin, as if taking a mental picture for himself. Feeling the desire pool between my legs, I pointed behind me.

“I’m going to get dressed in the bathroom. Feel free to use the bedroom.”

Grabbing the black leggings and the maroon tank top, I scurried into the bathroom, Steve’s burning gaze on my back. Once alone, I let out a few strong breaths to steady myself.

I wasn’t sure what had come over Steve but whatever it was, I wanted to find out if it were his true feelings or just being caught practically naked that caused it. Biting my lip, I opted out of the leggings, deciding to just wear the tank top and underwear and after tousling my hair a bit, I walked back out into the bedroom, hoping Steve would still be there.

He wasn’t.

Letting out a disappointing breath, I pulled back the sheets of the bed, suddenly wanting nothing more than to take a six hour nap. I was about to crawl underneath when the door opened, Steve returning wearing nothing but sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. His hair was brushed back, a few strands falling into his face, and he had a glass of water in one hand.

He looked like a fucking dream.

I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. “I thought you left?”

“I did. To grab some water for you.” Steve placed the water on the bedside table before locking his gaze with mine.

“Have we decided what the plan is?” I questioned.

He nodded. “We’ve got a few leads we can follow. Sam suggested we rest up before though. We’re leaving in a few hours.”

“Okay,” I responded.

Steve stuffed his hands in his pockets before nodding towards the door. “I’ll come wake you up when we’re ready to go.”

“Stay,” I breathed.

He blinked before nodding, not bothering to ask if it was okay. He knew I didn’t mind.

We crawled underneath the covers together, Steve’s body warmth immediately warming me up without me touching him. I went to turn my back to him but his arms engulfed around me pulling me into his chest. Not fighting it, I rested my head against it, absolutely loving the feeling of having a body pressed against mine. It had been years since I’ve been in bed with anyone and had missed the feeling of it terribly.

“Is this alright?” Steve questioned.

“More than alright,” I cooed.

We fell into a comfortable silence and I felt the darkness starting to take over when Steve started running one hand through my hair, the other tracing shapes on my bare thigh. His lips grazed the top of my head and his breath hitched when I placed a leg over his hips.

“Is this alright?” I mimicked his question, the sleep slowly taking me.

“Sweetheart, you don’t even have to ask.” Steve groaned.

“Let me go you asshole!” I screamed pounding on the bars in front of me.

“Shut up!” The guard spat towards me.

“You’ve kept me prisoner for days now. I’ve told you before, I don’t know anything!”

“I said shut up!” The guard pointed his gun towards me, immediately shutting me up.

Biting my lip, I fell against the wall of my cell, a sob escaping the confines of my throat.

“SOLDAT!You’ve returned. Watch her. I have to take a piss,” The disgusting guard demanded of a man who I hadn’t noticed before.

The man stepped closer to the slightly dimmed cell and my breath caught in my throat. The light cascaded his metal arm and I scurried farther away from him.

“I swear I don’t know anything about Zola, please.” I sobbed.

Soldat turned his head to the side, studying me, his hair falling into his face. He pushed away the strands of hair with his metal fingers before looking around the small cell. Using his metal arm, he ripped the door to the cage open causing me to scream. I crawled away from him but the cool fingers wrapped around my ankle, dragging me over to him.

Sitting up in bed, I let out a large scream, eyes snapping open as I took in my surroundings. I was in the guest room of Sam’s house, taking a nap with Steve.

Steve.

Looking to my left, I noticed the empty spot that was no longer warm, meaning Steve had left the bed awhile ago.

“Y/N?!”

Steve had busted through the door when he heard my screams and was kneeling in front of me. “What happened?”

I shook my head, not wanting to get into details. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“The hell you are. Your scream woke the damn birds outside.”

My eyes snapped to the doorway where Sam and Natasha stood, worrying etched over their faces.

“I said I’m fine.” I reassured and tried to get out of bed before Steve stopped me.

His hands gripped my hips, keeping me locked in place.

“What the hell happened?” He asked, “And please don’t lie to me.”

My heart fluttered at Steve’s worried eyes but I still couldn’t find the words to tell him about my past.

“Please Steve, I don’t want to talk about it.” I begged.

“Y/N, he needs to know.” Nat’s soft voice suggested.

I looked at her dumbfounded but let out a low chuckle. “Of course you know. You’re Natasha-fucking-Romanoff.”

“I’ve known for a while now. I’ve just been waiting for you to tell them,” She admitted with a small frown.

“Tell us what?” Sam asked.

“Sweetheart, what are you talking about? I thought there were no secrets between us.” Steve squeezed my thigh.

“It was something that happened way before I met you or Nat. I never thought to mention it because I didn’t think I would ever run into him again.” I quietly admitted.

“Who?” Steve placed a finger under my chin forcing me to look at him.

I clasped my shaking hands together and sighed, trying to find the courage to say his name out loud.

“The Winter Soldier. Or I knew him as Soldat.” I breathed, “It was years ago, back when I was in the FBI. I was undercover in Russia gaining intelligence on a possible terrorist group run by Dr. Zola when I was kidnapped. Only at the time, I didn’t know what I know now about Zola.”

Steve squeezed my hands. “How long were you a prisoner with them?”

“I stopped counting the days after ten. For all I know, I could have been held there for six months.” I revealed.

“You didn’t know his name?” Sam asked, referring to Soldat.

I shook my head. “No, the men only ever called him Soldat. It took me a while to understand what it meant; soldier.”

“That’s why you froze on the roof?” Steve suddenly started putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “He was the one who kidnapped you.”

“God, no. He was my savior. He was the reason I escaped,” I assured them, “I don’t think I would be alive if it wasn’t for Soldat.”

Jealousy raged through Steve’s eyes at the mere thought of someone else protecting me, saving me. His grip on my hands tightened and I had to gently brush my fingers across his cheek. His face softened, only for a split second before he rose to his feet, his hands dropping from my hips.

“He still killed Nick. So he’s not the Soldat you remember,” Steve’s demeanor and voice changed, almost with venom before he nodded towards Sam. “Have you heard from your informant?”

Sam nodded. “He’ll be leaving lunch in an hour.”

“Let’s suit up then,” Steve demanded, not bothering to look in my direction as he left me and Nat alone in the room together.

“Man, jealousy does not look good on him.” She chuckled.

“Whatever,” I mumbled before dragging my body to the bathroom to get ready for what I didn’t know would be the craziest, fucked up next couple of days.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan #bucky barnes and reader #the winter soldier #marvel #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier smut #bucky barnes x agent!reader #james barnes smut #james barnes imagine #james bucky barnes #james barnes #james buchanan barnes #soldat bucky barnes

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oacest · 3 months ago

Note

oacest scholars, do you have any gcest fic recs for a beginner?

we decided to answer this in brief and limit ourselves to three recs each or, as evidenced by past failures to answer this same simple and straightforward request from other people, we'd spend forever quibbling about our choices and never actually post the dang thing. here, in no particular order, are some good jumping off points:

trill's recs:

1) @snickfic's baby, you're gonna be the one that saves me, aka my fave fic (technically series, it's got two parts) in this entire fandom. in which liam gets knocked up in the mid 90s by someone who's not noel, to noel's intense anguished jealous heartbreak mild dismay. even if you're not really into mpreg this one is well worth it. the characterization is god tier. bal and i insisted that jackie, who staunchly doesn't like mpreg, read it and even she was converted.

2) i could be your lover, you could be all mine, by hapaxlegomena. a collection of unconnected porn ficlets. lots of extremely tasty stuff in here, i reread random bits of it regularly.

3) the D'YA WANT SOME? series by one of our own triumvirate, bal! im sure she's squirming in horror that im including it but it is by far the best, most well-written, most well-characterized, thoughtful, hilarious, hot, fascinating work in this whole fandom imo, and is a perfect intro to the whole concept of pre/early days oasis and what noel+liam might have been getting up to behind the scenes (as it were) before they were famous.

bal's recs:

1) Filmstar, an orphaned fic on Ao3. This one gets recced plenty but for good reason. It's very funny in a deadpan way and the Liam in it is such a perfect little weirdo. It's a great fic to start with, readable even if you don't know all the lore and whatnot.

2) outta sight and outta mind by lustmord. this author writes Trauma and specifically the brothers' trauma in a way I find endlessly compelling. (for all that Everyone Knows about their shitbag dad, it is still such an unspoken and often unpredictable presence in the room; you can't really get into them without tangoing with it in some fashion)

3) Let Me Be The One, by @savageandwise. absolutely fantastic Liam voice, this author just GETS him. I often think about this quote as a literal thesis statement for Noel's whole insane deal:

You think he's perfectly willing to allude to it in public if he's the one pulling the strings. Cause he thinks he's cleverer than the rest of the world. He thinks it's edgy and rock and roll when he does it. It's his brand of anarchy. And when you do it you're just stupid and embarrassing and determined to destroy everything.

jackie's recs:

1) Trying To Find A World That's Been and Gone by @storyshark2005. my colleagues graciously let me be the one to put it on my list because this is Thee fic. as we were all getting into Oasis initially, this fic was our constant companion and teacher, holding our hand as the fixation unraveled within us. it's a present-day fic that beautifully and masterfully unpacks the entirety of their relationship from the glory days to the estrangement and it is so jam-packed with research and details, you can just assume that everything that's being referenced is based on something that actually happened. in my opinion, this is where any new fan should start.

2) If I Had a Gun by @savageandwise. it's probably cheating to put another fic by this author when bal's already done it, but... I don't care lmao. in many ways we're splitting hairs because all this author's fics are worth your time. but I do hold a special place for this one because it so wonderfully captures the tenuousness of their dynamic at any given moment. how they could go from fighting to flirting to hating each other to needing each other in rapid succession. it feels so true.

3) Here's Looking At You, Kid by RedheadAmongWolves. don't be thrown off by the fact that this is one chapter away from completion, it's still totally worth it. the characterizations are great, the vibes draw you in, the UST is delicious. honestly, this is really meant to function as an overall author rec. there were several here I could've chosen.

#communiques #fic #fic rec

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sass-ruby · 2 months ago

Text

Alright, so we shall talk about these two videos and the new channel :DD

First off all, for the new channel, me and my friends noticed they used MASM to make it

Understandable honestly, it's probably easier that way- since MASM already had subscribers and all

I was so confused on how I was already subbed 😭

Also don't mind the MASM logo for the second picture, I dunno how to make it go away

ANYWAYS ONTO THE EPISODES

Ah, usual moon things.. making robots that end up wanting to commit genocide ☠️ (reminds me of that one MASM episode with the raccoon)

Sundroid is so silly. THE SINGING AFTER EVERY SENTENCE GOT ME TBH

He's just a silly innocent guy :33 that wanted to pull a ruin but that's unrelated

I find it kinda cute that moon made sundroid based off of sun, adding the things sun usually does- it's just sweet in a way djdjjs

Sun was SO done with moon tho- WHICH WAS FUNNY

"you are a genius, but you are so SO STUPID AT TIMES" I LOVED IT FR

I was laughing my ass off 😭😭

Also KILLER SUN MENTIONED ‼️‼️

when sundroid entered the void/a dimension (idk I don't remember), there was a certain voice at minute 14:00.. it sounded A LOT like killer sun, not just by voice but by the way of talking

I love killer sun, I hope he gets more attention on the channel.. because ngl I like the dynamics-

Sun cannot STAND killer sun, bro would kill him in an instant. HE LITERALLY SAID SOMETHING LIKE "should've thrown a firebal-.."

I like how sun and moon kinda switched places- before moon was the one wanting to kill anyone who's a slight annoyance, but now sun seems to be like that. Like, when they first met killer sun, sun immediately told moon if he doesn't do anything, he's gonna kill him with NO hesitation

They really remind me of this picture (not my art!)

The amount of change they've both been through, holy..

IT MAKES ME A BIT SAD THINKING ABOUT IT

Back to killer sun and the dynamic-

Killer sun seems to be a huge annoyance to sun.. it sort of reminds me of past nexus and past ruin, the ruin who acted insane

Past nexus HATED ruin, sun was the one who tried his best to not intervene and probably tried to get past nexus to not kill ruin (?? I forgot)

Now, moon is the one staying quiet.. that killer sun himself mentioned

Meanwhile, killer sun? He's just a silly guy, alr? 😭 HE'S JUST SILLY AND I SUPPORT HIS RIGHTS AND WRONGS

(totally not contemplating deleting this part because I'm scared I'll get backlash for my observations being wrong or something)

TO THE SECOND EPISODE!!

(pic again because yes)

This was- one way to introduce the new channel ☠️ (In a good way!!)

I'm really looking forward to this channel ^^ it'll be neat! And it will most likely become another one of my new hyperfixations <33

I'm glad it's this and not lunar and astrals or something.. I don't really like the star power thing, plus, why would they make a channel?

No offense to those who wanted it tho! We all have our preferences, it's completely normal

I thought it would be called sunny and moony show- I didn't expect femme nights at freddy's but oh well, that's probably to make it easier to differentiate since when shortening it, it would be the same-

TSAMS (the sun and moon show)

TSAMS (the sunny and moony show)

Can't put moony first either, that would be MASM then. It'd be really bothersome- so the shortened version of this show would beeee...

Insert deep thinking

Help- it'd basically be FNAF 😭 um- I'm sure people will find a shortened version that'll fit good enough! Maybe like- FMAFS? I DON'T KNOW 💔

I wonder if they'll get traumatized though.. or if it will just be a silly show

I'M SO EXCITED FOR NEW VIDEOS OF THIS SHOW EEEEEE >:DDDDD

Tsams answered my prayers frfr (I did hope that they wouldn't just be a one time thing)

I like them, they're silly!! Their models, voices, personalities.. EVERYTHING. I LOVE IT ALLLL

And I like how chaotic they are with sun and moon 😭

LIKE IN THE VIDEO- THE BANTER MADE ME LAUGH SM

AND THE STRESSING-

"I HAVE THE NUKES READY :3"

"WHAT????"

Also monty in that universe having a bunch of nitroglycerin in his room.. ☠️ I LOVE HOW THEY'RE BOTH LIKE "that's just a monty thing!"

I didn't know nitroglycerin was used to make bombs!! THANK YOU FOR THAT INFORMATION DEAR EPISOD- /J

Another thing.. The mention of sun's adaptability is fascinating to me

Sun always seems to be the outcast/dumb one, but there's always ONE thing that surprises the others. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BETTER

Example is in that simulation- sure it's only a simulation, but the way merged sun+eclipse was surprised about sun's emotions

"I feel the need to kill that- thing! Yet I have this.. unending thankfulness.. is this what it's like to be sun?!"

I'm not sure if the need to kill moon in that simulation was a part of eclipse's or sun's emotions, but I think it could be both.

I always headcannoned that sun does feel a bit of resentment towards moon. I came to that conclusion by some of the things he says sometimes. They're brushed aside by most, but not with me :3

Example is when sun said to himself smt like- "two moons?? I can BARELY deal with on- okay no.. stop." Or something like that, I can't find the episode so not sure of the exact sentence.. but the way he STOPPED himself, it was like he was telling himself to stop being angry or to not hold a grudge

Yet, as the merged fellow said, he feels unending thankfulness at the same time which is seen by a lot of things-

That's just one of my personal headcanons, I feel that feeling too and I see myself A LOT in sun sooo

But YEEEE

I hope the new channel doesn't end up like MASM 😭 I doubt it will tho

These two episodes were fun, and got a really good laugh out of me jdjdjsj

THAT WOULD BE ALLLLL

TOODLESSSSSSS <3333

Edit:

I just realized- sun calling moon a genius yet telling him he's so stupid reminds me of that one meme-

"there's a thin line between being a genius and being an idiot... Sebastian uses that line like a FUCKING jump rope!"

THAT MOMENT WAS SO THEM 😭🙏

I love their brotherly dynamic frfr

#sams #tsams #sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #fnaf sun #fnaf #fnaf moon #sundrop #moondrop #female sun #female moon #new channel #I havent posted here in a long time holy-#WEEEE WOOOOOO

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starlightsuffered · 11 months ago

Text

Hate Fuck

Info - enemies, hate fuck, a little cnc, clothes breaking, cocky Timothée, insults during sex, legs not working from a good fuck, unprotected sex

I was so sick of hearing all about Timothée. Timothée this and Timothée that. So he'd landed a small role in a movie. He wasn't a star or anything.

Eleanor only wanted him along because she was ga ga for him. Her brother Henry was as well. Then there was Violet, Mary, and Harry. We'd all been friends since little up. Henry and Elenor were newer to our group and had brought Timothée into it.

Timothée had been like a shiny toy to the lot of them. I used to be the one they followed and admired. I used to be the one to make them laugh. Now everything was about that bastard of a show off Timothée Chalamet.

We had all scraped our money together to go on a trip to Florida and bask in the heat and beauty. It had taken a lot of work and planning but we'd managed it. At the absolute last moment Timothée had waltzed in and asked if he could go.

Everyone had voted yes except for me. It made me so mad that I had saved for SO long to help pay and he had just grabbed a wad of bills from his pocket. I fucking hated him.

The night felt long and I never slept well in hotels. I decided that I would make use of the out door pool. Perhaps the exercise would make my anger decrease.

The whole flight I'd had to listen to Timothée talk about his time on the movie set. As he spoke Eleanor gushed. I was sat beside Henry and he kept turning back to listen and comment since he was also enamoured with Timothée.

I had a migraine by the time we landed. Timothée had also be elected to choose where we ate that night.

Apparently, since he was part French, he would have better taste than us.

It felt like he was possessing my friends and I was sick of it. At least this swim would be Timothée free. I grabbed my towel and bathing suit. I headed into the bathroom and gasped in annoyance.

I thought for sure l'd packed my new bikini. However, in my hand was my old one. They were both pink, so l must've grabbed the wrong one. This one had clips that easily fell apart and my boobs had grown a bit so that there was a worry about them falling out.

I sighed. I'd have to buy a new suit when we went shopping tomorrow. This would do for now. It wasn't as if anyone else would be out there.

I walked the cold hallways, the ac was always blasting. It was like a blanket of humidity was thrown on me as I exited the hotel. I gasped as the heat hit me. The short walk to the pool had me swearing,

I jumped into the cool water. It soothed my heat prickled skin. I felt calm under the quiet surface. I could finally forget Timothée even existed. All would be right in my world.

SPLASH!

Someone jumped into the pool. I wanted to scream. Of course my nice midnight swim had to be ruined by someone. When I came up and saw who it was I wanted to scream again.

Timothée stood there with dripping curls and a smirk. I hated that he looked godlike in this lighting. His high cheekbones and perfect bone structure. It would be a hell of a lot easier if my arch nemesis was ugly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded.

"Taking a swim," he offered as he leisurely paddled.

"It's midnight!" I shot back.

"You're here," he said blandly. I couldn't deny he was right. I put my hands on my hips and took deep breathes to calm myself.

"You know the world doesn't belong to you y/n. I can go places. I can make friends. I can come on trips. I can go swimming. I can-"

We both flinches as the clasp on my bikini top sprung open. My breasts fell out heavily. I would double D bras so there was a lot on display. Timothée's eyes were right on my nipples. I was too stunned to cover myself.

Suddenly, everything changed from slow and stagnant to fast. Timothée moved towards me. He was feeling me up and kissing me. I'd never felt such electricity. No one had handled my tits the way he did. The perfection in the way he squeezed, the way he rolled the nipples, the way he shuddered into my mouth.

"What are you doing?" l asked, but I didn't stop him.

"Kissing you, feeling you, worshiping your perfect body. It's all l've wanted to do since I first met you," he groaned. He pressed against me and I gasped. He was rock hard in his trunks and he felt big.

"Y-you hate me," I stuttered as one of his hands reached around to my ass. It all felt so good. Perhaps he deserved to brag and eloat if he could make someone feel like this.

"No, you hate me., I adore you," he professed.

"Well you're a pompous idiot, always showing off and-"

He grabbed my jaw and looked into my eyes. He looked filled with lust, like someone on the brink. He was pulling against restraints that would break any moment. Then, in the most surprising and gentle movement he leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. It left me breathless and needing more.

"Why do you think I show off?" He asked me quietly, and then his long fingers were hooked in my bottoms. "Why do you think I brag and big myself up? Why do you think I mention only my best qualities and abilities?"

"Because, ohhhhh," I cut myself off as my bottoms were pulled all the way down. His large hands left me for a moment. I knew he was pulling his dick free and I couldn't imagine why I wasn't stopping him.

"To feed your own ego. To sound important. To make everyone obsessed with you," I snapped.

"No," he shook his head. I keened when his thick head pressed at my entrance. I could tell he would hit my g spot without even trying. He was so big. My clit throbbed. I hadn't been fucked well in so long.

"For you," he said as he pushed his head in. I grabbed wildly at his biceps.

"All for you, everything I do and say is to get your attention," he said. He had his forehead pressed against mine now. We were heaving together. I nodded slightly to the question that hung in the air.

He pushed all the way inside me. I held back but his moan of gratification was almost enough to make my knees weak. I clung to him. He began to rock his hips. His huge cock was filling me again and again.

"Uh oh fuck, it's even more perfect than I imagined. Uh, uh, uh," he groaned as he slammed home again and again.

I couldn't hold back my pleasure any longer. My nails were already embedded in his skin. I was clenching my jaw so that it ached. I had to make a noise or a sound or something to express how fucking, damn, good I felt!

"I hate you," I whispered, trying out the words on my tongue.

"What's that?" He panted as he pushed deep inside me. He had me against the pool wall. His hands were greedily feeling all over me.

"I hate you," I moaned as he hit a delicious part of me.

"I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world," he whined as he attacked my neck with kisses. I grasped the nape of his neck.

"You're hideous," I responded, my eyes squeezed shut in bliss.

"Your pussy feels, fuck, like heaven," he retorted.

"I can't even tell you're inside me," I nearly cried as he slammed in. He chuckled dark and low in my ear.

The water was splashing everywhere. He was mumbling hot compliments in my ear. I couldn't help but lift my legs up and put them around him.

"Mm, mm, mm," I nearly squealed as he went at me like an animal in heat.

"Please," he gasped

"Please what?" | growled.

"P-please," he said again. He sounded like he was pleading for his life. "Let me cum inside you. You can call me any name you want, just please, can I let loose in this perfect cunt."

"I-l- oh, fuck, yes, you fucking piece of shit, cum inside me raw," | screamed.

"Oh yes!" He shouted and rammed his cock inside me so hard I was seeing stars. My world was spinning as rope after rope of cum filled me up. Then I was coming too. I was exploding with lust and desire and pleasure. I was panting and clawing and making such pathetic noises as we both erupted.

"That was.... Wow," Timothée moaned as he reluctantly pulled out. I sneered at him as best I could.

"Speak for yourself," I said as I got out. However, Timothée giggled when my legs refused to work right when I tried to walk. I glared at the idiot.

#reader insert #timothee chamalet #timothee fanfic #timothee chalamet #timothee x reader #timothee x y/n #timothee imagine #timothee x you #timothée chalamet #x reader #timothée chalamet smut #timothee chalamet smut #timothee smut #smut

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aste-te05 · 1 month ago

Text

𝑀𝑜𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓃 𝒲𝒾𝓈𝒽𝑒𝓈

A tfp Optimus x Reader

NO I DON’T HATE WHEELJACK I SWEAR HE JUST PLAYS THE PART TOO WELL

Your thoughts fuel your every move, your every being. Every day is filled with silent repercussion, and every night is filled with voices that take pleasure in torturing you. You’re not sure why you placed yourself in this position or why you chose to do this to yourself. Long time ago Wheeljack and you used to be close friends, maybe not friends friends but something of the like. You’d hangout together everyday, and go on adventures… but then that changed. He changed. You couldn’t pick out the exact moment by mind but your gut could. The way you froze and that common sense switch turned on. Made you uneasy, Wheeljack had gotten too comfortable with you, he was more touchy, more flirty, and he’d ask you to hangout way later at night, then what you were used to. He liked you but you didn’t know why, you didn’t know how to deal with it either. There was too much interest, too much chemistry, and as nice of a mech Wheeljack was, he wasn’t stable. He wasn’t someone you could settle down with.

But Optimus was.

Enlight of coming to the conclusion that Wheeljack was pining, it had dawned on you that you needed to take a few steps back. There needed to be space, some boundaries if you will. So gradually and as often as you could, you hung out with Optimus instead. You two didn’t go on many exciting adventures, maybe recon once in a while, but you did go on drives. Long winding drives, through canyons, deserts, snow and rain. You both got to bear witness to Mother Nature in her entirety, something Optimus had come to really appreciate doing with you. It felt right, more so than it ever did with Wheeljack funny as it is. And eventually, as time went on, two worlds collided one very late but faithful night.

You and Optimus had both decided you needed time away from the base, a party was being thrown and if there’s one thing you know is that Prime’s never party, but neither do you so when you saw the opportunity to leave with Optimus you jumped to take it. Making some lame excuse you had to leave early to finish some work. You both found a quiet field where the grass swayed and crickets chirped, and seeing as the two of you enjoy stargazing together that’s what was decided on. You’re more than content as the night air is still and cool, the sound of Optimus’ intaking is lulling you into a sense of ease. Suddenly his voice cuts through the silence.

“I believe I might have something to share with you. Something that might change the trajectory of our relationship. It has been eating away at me for some time but for the sake of my mind I wish for you to hear it.” He had said, wanting to be at full attention you had gotten up to a sitting position as you were laying down before, what Optimus had said piqued your interest.

“Go on” you said, giving him a reassuring smile that indicated whatever he had to say wouldn’t change anything between the two of you, you were certain of that at least.

“I believe the feelings I have for you human are that of a different nature, different from friendship but something stronger. I hadn’t expected for it to overcome my being but I find my isolation without you to be the death of me. I understand you might not feel the same way, we are of two different species, but I believe it was of your right to know how much you are on my mind..”

If your heart could melt it’d be a pile of goo, you can feel your face get hot as your mind races. What even is the appropriate answer to this?

“I believe you should know how much you’re on my mind as well Optimus, I didn’t want to say anything though, the clarity of our friendship means a lot to me, I wouldn’t want to ruin that for the world.“ you say, hugging your knees up to your chest and letting your head rest on them as he gazes down upon you. He nods and returns his eyes to the night sky, you believe he’s deep in thought but at this moment, the autobot leader is totally unreadable.

“Is there a certain way you humans choose to proceed? In this circumstance? Are there any earthly customs?” He asks. You look away for a moment and shrug blatantly.

“Honestly it’s changed throughout the decades, back in the old days the man would court the woman, like bring her flowers and take her on carriage rides and things like that. Nowadays it’s similar, you go on dates and talk to them for a little bit before you both decide if you want to take it further. We call it a “talking stage.” You say as your hands signal air quotes. He slowly nods again and proceeds to think of it further.

“I have read here and there about courting in the earth books I indulge in from time to time, it seems to build a strong bond between pairs, if you wish earthling, I’d be willing to court you if you are most comfortable with it.” Your heart skips a beat at this, is this going too fast? Should you both take a second before you agree on a standpoint? Before you can think about it any further however, your words suddenly have a mind of their own.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea Optimus.” You watch as he smiles down at you, you’re washed with a feeling of ease as you put your mind and worry to rest. Maybe this might be a good idea, a new path to a better you. Being friends with him has benefited you so much, how different is it to be his partner?

“Then court you I shall.” And with that the night ends, you both agreed to talk more in the morning before making your way home. He drops you off at your house and gives you a solemn goodbye, and you watch as he drives through the ground bridge that was set down the road. You ponder for a moment on your front porch before deciding you’ll debrief inside where it’s warm, as you walk through your door and slip your shoes off you’re greeted by a soft meow. Looking towards your living room, your cat Stomper sits atop your couch, his tail flicking back and forth and his big eyes watch as you close your front door and giddily make your way to him. He jumps into your arms and you both prance over get comfy in the seat cushions, putting a blanket over the two of you and turning the TV on to binge together. As you switch between shows and Stomper begins to nest in the blankets, purring as he rubs into the pets you’re graciously giving him, your mind wonders through the nights events as it replays endlessly, suddenly Wheeljack pops into your head and you get a sense of unease.

Was this really a good idea?

Nowadays time seems to fly by as you spend more and more time at the base with Optimus. It’s been over a year since that night in the field and the two of you are happy, content even, in each others presence. Spending time together has broadened your knowledge of cybertrons technology, and you spend your days practicing the language and reading archives that Ratchet has saved in one of his many computers. It’s a leisurely task that you don’t mind doing while your partner is out on his missions but it does get boring, thankfully, you have taken up writing as a hobby too. Whenever you feel the boredom creeping up on you a pen and notebook suddenly make their way into your hands and you end up scribbling away. It’s a good way to past time, your fantasia becomes true as your mind goes wild. On one of these days you’re writing on the couch when an unexpected visitor happens to drop by.

Wheeljack.

The bots have returned from their mission and you walk to the rail to meet your partner who was already making his way in your direction. You can never get over how happy Optimus seems whenever his eyes fall on you, it feels right, and you just get giddy at the meer sight of him. You’re suddenly stopped however, when a familiar figure comes into view behind him. Wheeljack is standing near the opening of the bridge, scanning the room before his gaze falls onto you. He looks between you and Optimus before continuing to walk away, following bullhead to the training room but not before taking another glance at you behind his back. It makes goosebumps crawl up your arm and you shrink at the thought, Optimus is worried of your unease, not noticing wheeljack behind him as he focuses on your body language.

“Are you okay my love?” His words bring you back to your senses and you snap out of your awkward trance. Nodding briefly before holding your hands out to him, he gives you his finger and with care you give it a small kiss. Smiling up at the giant mech.

“I am just fine, thank you.” You both continue to debrief about the mission, he fills you in about the deceptions and you take into consideration of the growing threat.

Night falls and you and Optimus go through the ground bridge, as you both set foot in front of your home, you watch as he mechanically shifts into a smaller version of himself; still metal, still way taller than you, just shorter than his usually towering size. Some nights, he likes to rest in your house with you, it’s only when he believes there won’t be any threats abound however. Thankfully, Decepticon activity has been low enough that he’s been able to let his guard down and spend more time at your home. As you both enter through the front door, you can’t help but smile slightly as you watch Optimus walk through the frame, even if he’s smaller than usual he still has to duck to even make it through. It’s humorous to you but not wanting to make him embarrassed it’s a thought you keep to yourself.

With Optimus finally getting settled on your couch, putting on a show you both enjoyed to binge (more so him) You start cleaning around the house so it’s at the bare minimum, acceptable. While you’re sure Optimus doesn’t care too much about the state of your home you still don’t want to seem like an animal. Speaking of animal however, Stomper has grown accustomed to the mech, suddenly when Optimus is near you’re just a meer being in his presence as Stomper loves onto your partner. It’s a shared affection between the two, stomper gets some good pets and Optimus gets the joys of loving a cat. Win win for both you guess.

Finally finishing the last load of dishes you sit in the rocking chair next to the sofa, you have to finish up some work before getting comfy as you swiftly pull your laptop and set it onto your lap. Optimus glances at you and back at the TV and you smile at him before diving into your computer, reading through emails and responding if needed. An hour or so goes by before your phone buzzes with a text. Catching his attention, Optimus watches as you grab your phone and as the screen lights up he notices your face change slightly. Your brows are suddenly furrowed and a small scowl has formed on your face as he begins to worry.

“Is everything okay?” He asks, you look at him slightly startled before smiling and slowly nodding your head. He’s unmoved as you set your laptop on the table and get up from your seat.

“I have to call someone I’ll be right back dear” you say before rushing out of the living room, past your kitchen and onto the back porch, shutting the door behind you, you press the contact and the phone begins to ring. It rings twice before you hear Wheeljacks voice on the other end.

“Hello?”

You take in a deep breath. And press the phone onto your ear.

“Hey, You wanted me to call you?”

“Yeah I was hoping you’d wanna go for a ride or something. You know like we used to do, I needed to get out cause between you and me, Miko can be a handful sometimes” He chuckles and it brings a small smile to your lips. Suddenly the reminder of your small escapades and adventures comes rushing back to you in a wave of nostalgia.

“Yeah I agree, she’s something alright.” You pause before glancing back through the glass door, Optimus is already looking at you with Stomper loafing on his lap, as you both lock eyes he smiles and waves in your direction, and you wave back before turning away from him. “But unfortunately I can’t tonight, I’m busy.”

There’s a beat of silence as he thinks of a response.

“What are you busy with this late in the evening?”

You’re hesitant to say anything, Wheeljack isn’t quite up to beat with everything between you and Optimus, it makes you nervous as you begin to speak, “Uhm, Optimus is over here, we’re relaxing for bit before I make dinner, then we’re both heading to bed.”

The silence is grueling after that last sentence and your think wheeljack has hung up before you hear his voice again.

“So that’s who my replacement is now?” It throws you off for a moment and you’re about to respond before you hear him hang up. Rude

As you pull your phone away from your ear, there’s a sense of anger that derives from you. Why is he so weird about it? But even worse, why do you feel like the worst person ever? You did the right thing so why did you feel so guilty? Not wanting to ponder about it any further, you decide to head back inside, pushing the thought of Wheeljack away seeing as you’re only going to get more upset. As you close the screen door behind you and turn towards the TV that is suddenly now shut off, the lack of a certain mech on the couch catches your attention. Coincidentally there’s also no Stomper. Looking through the rooms in your house you’re partially relieved to find the both of them in your bedroom, Stomper is on your mattress watching as Optimus waves his little mouse on a stick around in the air in front of him. He notices you in the doorway and immediately puts the toy down, (to Stompers dismay) and makes his way over to you, engulfing you suddenly in a embrace, the feel of cool metal is welcoming as you melt into his touch. His eyes are soft as they look down to you.

“Is everything alright?” He asks and you feel like melting.

“Yes everything’s fine, it was just a work call, not a big deal.” You shrug. He nods before grabbing your arm, he leads you to the bed and you both lay as he holds you in his arms, you both settle with the blankets covering only you as Stomper takes place in between, as he gets comfortable with the heat radiating from your bodies, you can’t help but smile as your eyes fixate on him, holding your arm out you gently pet his soft fur before pulling it away to finally rest. The three of you find peace in your shared slumber as the peaceful night goes on.

You’ll just have to deal with wheeljack tomorrow.

___________________

Surprisingly I’m not dead (I’ve been moved to the 12 hour shifts at my job so I might as well be) anyways, sequel coming soon, I’ll probably come back to this post to edit since I’m too tired to right now, let me know if you guys have any headcanons or requests :]

-JenJen💖

#transformers prime #transformers #optimus x human #optimus x reader #tfp wheeljack #tfp optimus prime

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lilbrattythoughts · 2 months ago

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The Waiting Game

And so begins The Waiting Game.

With a sigh, I glance over my shoulder. I’m standing in the corner of the room in nothing but my underwear as I slide my thighs together a bit nervously, but oh so excitedly, too. I can hear Damien in the bedroom as he goes through the chest where all the punishment toys are kept. He’s searching for the perfect one.

In all honesty, I had known as soon as he walked me out to the car that this was where my comment at dinner was going to lead. A mere statement from him that turned into an outburst from me. I hadn’t wanted to go home yet. It was a Friday, after all. The night was still so young.

But we had a big day tomorrow, it being our anniversary, and that meant that I needed to be good and rested.

At the sound of my partner’s footsteps, I can’t help but give an excited shiver. He runs his fingers softly across my bare shoulders before leaving me where I’m at. I don’t dare move as I hear him walk into the kitchen and pull the chair out from the table.

It has been a few weeks since I last earned myself an actual punishment, and it shows.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Damien asks, his voice low but still somehow so alluring even when he’s about to beat my ass. There’s a soft knock against the table as he lays down what sounds like the leather strap. Oh. He knows me way too well. That was exactly the one I wanted.

I feel my toes curl up in anticipation as I look over my shoulder at him. He is so perfect standing there in that satin red dress shirt and slacks. So muscular and strong. It’s every bit of what I want and is all mine for the taking.

“No,” I tell him, tilting my chin upwards in that naturally brat-like demeanor. Even still, I try not to whimper as he takes me gently by the wrist. He leads me to the table and takes a seat at the chair. My eyes fall onto the strap, my mouth going dry as I stand there waiting. My usual desire to banter wins out as I go on more hesitantly. “Why is it that big of a deal?”

I hate being in trouble.

But I love it so much, too.

And he bloody well knows it.

“You know the rules, Princess.” Damien says with a shrug. He gives a seductive smirk at me as he places a soft hand against my bottom, rubbing his thumb against it in smooth, cathartic circles and bringing me up right beside him.

He’s so calm and nurturing, yet still holds every bit of the control as he explains what this punishment is for. I gave him this power long ago, and while I still know that it all stops and ends with a safe word, I also understand that he won’t give me anything that I don’t deserve.

Plus, the aftercare is always phenomenal.

“You caused a scene in front of our friends,” He begins, speaking more sternly now. I don’t interrupt, biting my lip as I lock eyes with the brown mocha gaze beside me. “And that’s not going to work. You’re lucky I didn’t stripe your pretty backside right in the middle of the parking lot. Now, we’re going to give you your punishment. Then, you’re going to call Joey and Rebecca and apologize to both of them for your behavior because it ruined what was otherwise a fantastic dinner. After that, it’s off to bed and you’ll wake up tomorrow with better behavior. Understood?”

“I don’t want to, thoughhhhh...?” I can’t help but whine. As I do, I lean my head into his shoulder, hoping to get a little bit of mercy for the tantrum I’d thrown. This earns me a soft scoff but nothing more.

“Have it your way then,” Damien affirms.

Giving a sigh, he picks up the belt beside him. He gives a soft clap against his thigh before taking my forearm and directing me over his knees. He then slides my panties down so that they fall to my ankles, leaving me bare and slightly humiliated as I try to squirm out of his lap. He takes my arms and gently presses them with one firm hand against the small of my back.

Before he begins, his hand brushes against my hair, pulling it back so that he can see my face.

“I know you enjoy being over my knees,” he whispers into my ear. “But we’re going to make sure this lesson really hits the spot for you tonight. You’ve just been a bit too mouthy lately. You’re a good girl, but it seems you’ve forgotten who you belong to. We’re going to fix that.”

I give a moan, already way wetter than I’d like to admit before I feel the soft, enthralling leather run gently across my cheeks.

“Yes, Sir.” I finally submit. “I’ll be a Good Girl.”

Damien starts out easy, not even using the belt.

As the first few smacks of his hand fire down upon my bottom, I can’t help but try to squirm out of his understandably tight embrace. This is definitely not one of our usually fun spankings. Not at all. I had stepped out of line, and it was his job as my Dom to help me understand that.

My ass is already heating up when he stops to rub gingerly at my cheek. We’ve been through this plenty of times for me to understand that the punishment isn’t just the butt whipping itself, but also the stiff talking to that comes with it.

“Do you remember when we first started this...dynamic, of sorts, between us?” Damien asks.

I’m actually slightly surprised at the question. That wasn’t at all like what I had expected to come out of his mouth. I knew tomorrow was our one-year anniversary but I didn’t think we were going to reminiscence just yet.

“Yes?” I offer, turning back to look at him, one arm extended towards the ground and my other leaning lazily against his slacks. He suddenly lifts his hand and gives me a sudden yet telling pinch as his fingers bite into my backside. I grimace and rephrase my statement as I give an aggravated nudge to his thighs, trying to adjust myself so I can look at him better. “Yes, SIR?”

He smirks at the sass I’m still giving him, even when I’m laying ass-up in his lap.

“Good Girl,” He tells me, glad that I got the message. He leans his face down beside mine then. He begins to run his fingers through my hair, fixing it so that it’s not so messy from my struggling. “And you are still enjoying it, right?”

I hesitate to answer. Damien gives me a soft squeeze to my backside, something like a massage.

“Is this a trick question? Of course I’m enjoying it.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Damien says, only to top it off with a rather menacing yet thought-provoking chuckle. “We’re going to do things a little differently with your punishment tonight. I’ve got a number in my head. It’s the number of swats you’re going to get with the strap. I want you to tell me how many you think you deserve.”

My head tilts to the side as I consider this game of his.

“You’re letting me choose?”

“Not quite,” He says with a simple laugh before he goes onto explain. He gives me another gentle squeeze as he speaks. All the sensations are running through me and it’s everything for me to control myself. I want him so bad right now. “You’re going to guess a number. If you guess too low, then you’re going to get double whatever I’ve already picked for you. Too high, then you’ll get yourself the original number I’ve already chosen plus any extra left over. In a sense, you’re going to mete out your own punishment.”

I can’t help but laugh, although my center is throbbing at the prospect. “That sounds like a fucked up version of Russian Roulette, SIR.”

He smiles at my snide comment. “Any version of that game is fucked up if you think about it. But this isn’t a game. It’s a punishment, Darling. So what will it be?”

For a few moments, I don’t answer. This is actually fairly genius on Damien’s part. Either way, I’ll get at least the number of swats I’m due and probably even more. I try to figure out what number my partner must have chosen but everything in me wants to low-ball it.

At the same time, if I’m too low, it’ll just make it harder on myself.

Not that I would care...would I?

Oh my god, this feeling of helplessness is invigorating. Exactly what Damien had planned on it being. I can’t help but wonder when he first came up with this plan of his.

Finally, and whether it was on my own accord or not I can say, my mouth finally whispers a number.

“What was that?” He asked, pretending not to hear me. He gives me a firm spat on my ass, cupping his hand so that it makes a louder clap. And a much more pronounced sting. I can’t help but gasp as his command exits his lips. “Speak up, Little Brat.”

“Fifty?” I offer, though the way I trail off makes it clear that I’m not too certain in my answer. I try to go on and explain my reasoning. “I embarrassed us in front of our friends and also the entire restaurant. You give me twenty just for fun so I think that’s a good number, Sir...”

For what feels like an eternity, Damien stays silent, continuing to draw little rhythmic circles across my warmed cheek. He finally gives me a gentle pat on my ass before he picks the belt back up.

“Good Girl,” He tells me. As he hands down his approval, I breathe in relief. A gentle chill travels down my legs. “I’m glad you recognize that you’ve earned yourself some consequences and are taking this seriously. I was going to suggest forty, so we’re going to go with yours instead. It’ll make a better impression on you. You’ll also be counting them.”

Although I can’t bring myself to complain, when the first swat of the belt lands, I give a gentle gasp of something that feels very similar to ecstasy. The sixteenth has me shaking from adrenaline and excitement. Number twenty-nine is when it starts to really burn, and by forty I’m seeing stars in my vision. I try and try to pull from his lap but even I know it’s hopeless.

“Please, please, pleaseeeeee,” I beg him, my entire body feeling like it’s on fire. I refuse to use my safe word, because in some strange and fucked up way, I’m enjoying every bit of this. “Please, Sir. I promise I’ll be better.”

Once that last swat with the belt comes down, I can do nothing but cry.

All struggling has stopped.

All pleading ceased.

Now that my punishment is over, Damien has given me ample time to catch my breath. He helps me adjust into a sitting position on his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my chin on his shoulder as he holds me. My partner rubs tentatively at my back as he waits for me to come back down from all of the emotions and sensations I’d felt.

As much as my face is covered in tears and my ass burns, there are feelings going on inside of me that can only be understood by those who understand the beauty of being a submissive.

My worries are gone.

My walls are down.

All my stress and desire to have things under control have vanished.

“Speak to me.” Damien finally says. He pulls back from me and tilts my chin up so that I can look him in the eyes. He gives a gentle tsk of his lips as he eyes me down, analyzing every bit of how I responded to his rather firm punishment. “Tell me how you feel.”

I simply smile, and push my head further into his chest.

“Thank you, Sir.” I breathe.

#bd/sm kink #patriarchy kink #rough kink #daddy's good girl #edging kink #free use kink #domestic discipline #oneshot #spank me harder #spank me pls #spankee #k1nky #daddy k!nk #control kink

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roger-that-cap · 23 days ago

Text

running back to home base (you)

part two (2/4)

destiel highschool/college/work AU

Chapter Summary: Dean runs into Castiel at his local diner years after everything goes down in college. It doesn't end well for Dean, but Cas? Well, he's as cool as a cucumber, and as pretty as ever. But luckily for us, it's our turn to look at whatever the hell it is that Dean has been doing.

word count: between 5.8 and 6k! not sure anymore guys this thing will not turn me loose

I changed it from three parts to four because this one was getting absolutely ginormous (12k unedited). The plan is four, but if the fourth part gets away from me, then five might be the way to go. Happy reading!

Dean Winchester had a lot of recurring dreams. Most of the time, they were pleasant. They were mostly of his glory days, the days when all that mattered was if he could swing his bat. He would dream about running the whole field, charging past every base and going home every time. He would dream about being in the dugout, or being surrounded by his favorite teammates from high school and college alike, like he was in some sort of mixed timeline. He had those dreams over and over enough to remind him of simpler times.

And then there were the recurring dreams that were more like nightmares.

They weren’t nightmares because they were scary. He didn’t wake up terrified, or in cold sweats, crying. He didn’t wake up reaching for a light or trembling. He woke up from these dreams with a sinking feeling in his gut, one close to guilt and even closer to loss.

He hated it.

These dreams were different, but they were all the same. They were all sweet, and that was what was haunting him. And they were so close to his real memories, the ones he suppressed in the daytime because they threatened to push him to insanity.

They all involved Castiel Novak.

It was a name that bounced around his head as much as he allowed it to. It was trapped behind iron bars, thrown in a metal box that had a key that Dean convinced himself was thrown away and buried. His dreamscape always opened it without problem, always when he felt he had traveled far away enough from the burial site.

The dreams themselves were relatively normal. It would be him and Cas, kicking around rocks or throwing them into the lake, trying to see who could skip the most. The next dream would be something like them fake wrestling, or rolling down hills, sneaking out just to go to a late movie, skinny dipping in the same lake that ruled all of their summers. They were normal things. They should have made him feel normal things. He should have been able to brush them off and move on with his day.

Dean felt anything but normal every time he woke up and remembered what his mind had forced him to relive.

Castiel was years in the past. He was Dean’s high school best friend, his rock, the boy that understood him more than his own mother did. Castiel was Dean’s favorite person in the world for a very long time, and he supposed his dreams hadn’t quite let go of that yet.

He wasn’t sure if he let go of it, either.

The five minutes after he woke up from one of those dreams, he let himself think. It was a dangerous game, him sitting in silence after a dream like that, but he did it every time. He let himself dwell, let his mind trail off into the killer what-ifs. He went down paths that would have never amounted to anything in the comfort of his own mind for five minutes, and then he forced himself to move on.

But he never really did move on. Even if he didn’t realize it.

He hadn’t moved on, not as he went through women like they were pages in a book. Not as he left college and mellowed out and tried to settle with the first one who didn’t like him just for his looks. Not as he left her and was alone for a while, building up his career. Dean was convinced he had left it all behind, baseball and Castiel Novak alike, until he was sitting by himself, all alone.

Or worse, sitting across from a kind, smart, beautiful woman and realizing that she just… wasn’t enough.

He was enough of an adult to recognize that the problem wasn’t the women. They were all kind, all sweet, and he couldn’t ever point out any negative traits. He knew that he was the problem. He was the problem, and something else that he couldn’t put his finger on was the problem, too. But he wasn’t dumb or cruel enough to put the blame on them.

Another thing about Dean Winchester was that he was successful. He was big in finance, he had money, he had a place of his own. He had a job where people depended on him, and he was respected. He even lived in the same town as Sam. On paper, Dean lived the best version of his life that he could.

But once again, something was still missing.

He figured it was a companion, so naturally, he tried for that. Dating apps, meeting organically, blind dates. He tried them all, and even if he had fun, it just… wasn’t enough.

There were so many beautiful women who were also smart who wanted to be with him. He had been set up with so many of them, too. But they never clicked. It never worked. Dean would shrug it off like it didn’t bother him year after year, but he was getting older and still, he had no one to come home to. He had no one to bring home to his mom at Thanksgiving. He had a place that was big enough for a whole family, but his house was hardly a home.

Sammy had Jessica, a really sweet blonde woman who he had met in college. They were sweethearts from the start, and it worked out beautifully. Dean loved watching it unfold from afar and giving his little brother advice that he would have never followed himself, but it all worked out. Dean expected nothing less cookie cutter than that for Sam, and he was infinitely happy for his brother. He got the cool lawyer job, he got the girl, he got the white picket fence with a dog. He had everything that Dean didn’t.

Dean wasn’t jealous of Sam. He was happy for him. All he ever wanted was for Sam to be happy, and he was. But he couldn’t lie and say that he didn’t sometimes look at Sam and Jess, watch them hug and kiss and look at each other like they both had hung the stars for each other, and ask himself why he couldn’t have that, too.

Dean was at Sam’s house on a random Wednesday night. He typically came around once a week, and Wednesdays were usually the night that worked for the both of them. Sam had offered to grill up some steaks and Jess was cooking the rest, and Dean couldn’t say no to that. A nice little three-person dinner, and he didn’t have to cook? He was there.

The grill was on and so was the music in the background, and Dean stood there watching Sam man the grill. It was quiet between them, but comfortable. Dean was thinking about work, throwing his mind into it as a distraction, and he didn’t even realize Sam was talking to him until he turned.

“Dean?”

“Huh?”

“Do you think you’ll try to call him one day?”

Dean was so focused on work that he wracked his mind for any person from his job that Sam could have been talking about. He lifted a brow. “Call who?”

“Cas.”

Dean’s head whipped up. “What?”

“I mean, Castiel,” Sam said like it was a name they always said, a name that was constantly in rotation. It was in Dean’s head, of course it was, but in recent years, Sam hasn’t dared to bring him up. “When are you gonna call him?”

Call Castiel? What the hell? “Why on earth would I call him?”

“Because you’re successful, and you have a lot of money, and you’re a handsome and extremely eligible bachelor with more women at your feet than ever,” Sam said, and Dean frowned, “and you’re still miserable.”

“Me being miserable has nothing to do with Castiel from high school,” Dean scoffed.

Sam flipped the steaks. “Are you sure?” He asked casually.

“Sam,” Dean said, taking in a deep breath, “why did you just bring him up?”

“I haven’t brought him up in years.”

“Exactly, so why in the hell are you bringing up a friend from highschool right now?” Dean scoffed defensively, and if his tone didn’t give it away, the way he crossed his arms did. “Don’t do that again.”

Sam shrugged his shoulders and nodded, giving Dean that face that meant that he understood, but he still thought he knew best. It pissed Dean off to no end. “Okay.”

“He’s… he’s in the past.”

“Alright.”

“It’s over with us. It’s been over a decade.”

“Mhm.”

“And besides, there’s no-”

“It’s clearly not over for you, Dean,” Sam said, “you’re still talking about it.”

“I’m trying to explain it to you, Sam,” Dean spat back.

“Maybe you should…” Sam trailed off. “Meet up with him. Even if he has someone now, he knows you. Maybe it would help you to talk to someone who you can connect with. And I know you feel bad for what you did to him.”

“What?”

“Him seeing you with those girls, telling him you didn’t love him when you did-”

“I wasn’t in-”

“You were, Dean. You were,” Sam said. “You probably still are. That’s why you’re miserable.”

It was a slap in the face. It was weighted, and it was a slap that he had been waiting on for years. “Sam, where the fuck is all this coming from?”

“You know it’s okay to be gay, Dean. Like, no one cares.” Dean’s eyes went wide. Sam had always been honest with him, always straight forward, but it was rare that Sam outright said exactly what was eating at Dean, hitting the head on his biggest regret and insecurity all in one. “No one would give a damn about you liking men. No one.”

“Leave it.” Dean looked away from his brother. “And it’s not like he’a around here, anyway. He’s long gone. He’s… he’s probably far away from here, now.” He had always talked about getting away from their home state, branching out. “He’s gone.”

Sam didn’t say another word.

The weekend was either one thing or the other for Dean; a time to relax and recharge after a long week, or a time to go out hunting for a woman that he would spend the night with and never see again. As he left the building on Friday night, he could feel in his bones exactly what type of weekend it was going to be.

It took no work at all for him to look decent enough to go to the bar. That was his main spot, anyway. He bar-hopped each weekend that he went out, rotating each bar for the night, trying not to dip his toes in the same pool too often. He ended up at the one closest to his house, single and incredibly ready to lose himself, and before he knew it, he was knocking back drinks and winking at the bartender.

He couldn’t help but think about his brother’s words. Castiel was a huge part of his past, but that’s where he had to say. In the past. Dean had no other choice but to leave him there, trapped in a deep corner of Dean’s mind like a pretty bird in a cage. A bird with wilted feathers. Or maybe it was taking care of its wings on its own, out of his sight. He'd never know.

There were pretty women everywhere. It was a big city. There were so many to pick from, so many throwing themselves at him, but he couldn’t commit to more than small talk and flirty eyes with any one of them until he was no less than four shots deep. Even then, there was something nagging at him in the back of his mind, something scratching at his skull and wiggling around in his stomach, voicing discomfort.

He eventually found a girl with dark hair and blue eyes and ignored all the feelings, anyway. He agreed to go back to her place because it made her feel safer, and he fucking hated that he wasn’t as into it as he should have been. He despised it. But he went through the motions anyway, he relished in the touch of someone else, he laid in the warmth of another person just for the sake of doing it.

For a moment, a fleeting moment or two he swore that the arms around him were enough. It felt real. She felt close enough. She felt good enough. And just like all the other times, just like every other attempt, he crashed from his high and realized it wasn’t. He was chasing something, something he didn’t even know anymore.

He kissed her on the mouth like she mattered, like any of it mattered, and laid down next to her as she settled into the bed, and he was entirely too distracted by the dark hair on the pillow next to him to get a good sleep.

She looks like the real thing

Dean shot up, head pounding as he ran a hand over his face. There was someone next to him, and judging by the vanilla scent surrounding them both, it was a woman. His memory came back to him as she sat up in the bed, and he blinked as he looked at the naked woman in bed with him.

She tastes like the real thing

The woman started to stir next to him. Dean’s eyes went wide as the lyrics settled into his skin, sinking into every pore and rattling his blood. “Who-” Dean choked on his question for a moment. “Who is playing that?”

“Ugh, my roommate,” the woman said, running a hand through her hair. “She cleans every Sunday morning. I told her not to, who even plays Radiohead anymore?”

Dean blinked a few times, as if that could take the despair away. He felt sick to his stomach as he forced himself to nod, to accept his situation, and he pulled the blankets off of himself. He was thankful that he wasn’t too hungover as he stood up out of the bed, immediately searching for his clothes.

“Hey, don’t you want breakfast, or something?”

“Oh, no, no,” he said, giving a small smile that he was certain was unconvincing. “I’ve got uh, a busy morning. Thank you, uh,” he stuttered out, and he gave her a nod as he pulled his jeans on. He left right out of her bedroom door in the most awkward exit he had ever done, thanking God that he was a creature of habit even while drunk as he grabbed his car keys off of her kitchen table.

The second he got home, he took a shower and scrubbed down. He wanted to scrub his braid, to scrape the ache off of his heart, but he knew that was impossible. So he stood under the scalding hot water for what felt like hours, got dressed, and sat on the couch in silence, unable to escape his own thoughts.

He fucking hated Sundays.

Monday morning came too quickly, but it was a nice change. Sunday had been full of reflection that Dean figured was unnecessary. He wasn’t ever really good at sitting with himself and digesting his life. He was ready for Tuesday, to watch some baseball and sit and think about what his life could have been if he kept going after college. He was ready to eat with Sammy and Jess on Wednesday. He was ready to do anything but have another weekend when his only choices were sleeping with someone who didn’t matter to him or sitting alone at his house.

Now, Dean had no problem going out to eat alone. He was a businessman, and he traveled often by himself. He ate in restaurants and sat at bars and went to hotel breakfasts all alone, and he never had a problem with it. He didn’t have one as he sat at the local diner, ready to eat a cheeseburger at his favorite restaurant in much needed yet much avoided silence.

Dean wasn’t looking as he opened the door to the restaurant. He was on his phone, aggressively texting back a client, when he felt the door push open while he pulled. He shuffled to the side, letting the other person out first.

“Wow.”

That one word was familiar. It was deep and gravely, mature even, and it sent a chill down his spine. Dean’s head whipped up, and he had to bite his tongue to stop from screaming when he saw who was standing in front of him.

It had been years since he had seen Castiel. Not in person, not on Facebook, not on fucking LinkedIn. Nothing. His image of Castiel was of how he looked twelve years ago, the very last time he saw him.

The time when Castiel saw him kiss a girl in the bar after he broke up with him.

It had been years and years, and Castiel looked different. He was still gorgeous, but he was older. Dean wouldn’t admit that the aging made him look even better, not even to himself. His eyes, still that brilliant blue, seemed to be lighter. Like there was less weight on his shoulders. Dean had a million questions, a million things to say, but he couldn’t find any words more than just one, a name he hadn’t dared to mutter in years.

“Cas?”

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said, and then casually, as if he hadn’t just ruined Dean’s entire fucking day or threw his entire thought process off course for the next month, he stepped to the side of the door and let it close. They were outside together, and Dean was standing in front of Castiel. “How are you?”

How was he? How was he? Dean didn’t have an answer for himself, let alone his high school ex… whatever, who was clearly happier without him.

“I’m…” he couldn’t get the lie out. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I live here now,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. He looked so carefree. “I was in California, but I wasn’t the biggest fan of the heat and the trash. So, I moved back closer to home.”

“Oh.”

“You look fancy,” Castiel said, looking him up and down once, and Dean wondered why. When they were kids, Cas would look at him for what felt like hours.

“I uh, I’m on my lunch.”

“You must be some sort of…” Castiel trailed off. “Finance bro? That’s what you called it, right? Didn’t you want that?”

Didn’t he? Was that even a question? That was all Dean had talked about besides being a baseball star. How in the world had he forgotten?

Dean hadn’t forgotten a goddamn thing that Cas had ever told him.

“Uh, yeah. I work in finance now.”

And then Castiel smiled. He beamed, like he was truly happy for him. “That’s great, Dean!”

��Yeah.” It was. On paper, it was. He made a lot of money and he was grateful for his job, but that didn’t change the fact that his apartment was empty. There were paintings hanging on the wall for decoration, but they weren’t Castiel’s. There was a bookshelf that was full of papers and documents, not of Castiel’s favorites, or of the ones he had written and printed out himself. “Um, are you still painting?”

“Yes, I do it as a hobby.” That shattered Dean’s heart. He had always hoped Cas made his dream a reality. “But I’m a writer now.”

Dean’s heart jumped. That was always his second favorite thing to do. Castiel was always creating something, always forming something whether it was words on a page or clay. “Wow, that’s… that’s really good. Um, you sellin’ any copies?”

Castiel chuckled. “Yes. My books have been doing really well. They’re my livelihood.” Dean was terrified to even ask what the books were called. He didn’t want to know, because then he would have to find them. He wasn’t sure he could stomach buying them one day, having a piece of Castiel and his brain and his words inside his home, shoved onto a shelf- “I’m very happy.”

“I can tell.” Dean could practically see it radiating off of him. Castiel’s joy was the same color as the sunlight that seemed to be absorbing into his skin as they stood outside, and Dean both wanted to never look at Castiel again and never stop. “You look happy.”

For a moment, Castiel just looked at him with his interrogative blue eyes, and Dean heard the sounds of traffic between their silence. Dean let Castiel look despite how uncomfortable he felt under his stare, because he had missed those eyes. He had missed them so much, even as they looked at him with a guarded expression that he had never seen in them before.

“Well, I’m gonna go ahead and order my burger,” Dean said, gesturing toward the door, and Cas smiled at him again.

“Sure,” Castiel said as if Dean needed permission, “it was good to see you.”

Good to see you. That was what two people who used to sit next to each other in chemistry years ago said. That was what acquaintances said to each other when they intended on never seeing each other again. That wasn’t what Castiel was supposed to say to Dean.

How fucking painful.

“You too, Cas,” he said, and he hated the way that the last word faded out. Dean opened the door to the diner and was about to step in when he heard Castiel take in a breath.

“Hey, Dean?”

Dean’s entire body tensed up at that, and he turned around, hoping that it wasn’t obvious that he was about to fall apart. “Yeah?”

“I hope you’re doing alright.” And then, he watched Castiel give him a small smile, and walk right away from him all over again, with a certain light jog to his step that was new to Dean, leaving him to walk into the diner with a dazed look on his face, and tears in his eyes the second he finished ordering.

Dean ate his lunch in silence. His burger tasted like ash in his mouth as he thought about the bridge he was sure he had sent crashing down in flames years and years ago. His hands shook, almost like they used to all the way back in middle school when he stopped up to the plate to bat. His heart was racing in his chest, and when he realized his time was up, he left enough money to pay for the tip and left without saying goodbye to his favorite waitress.

As the day went on, most of what Dean did, he did in silence. Where he would usually be talking or being charismatic, he was a blank sheet of paper. Whether that was the breakroom or the printing area, he didn’t say a word. He clicked away at the computer on his desk with no music on, no background noise, and his door was completely closed.

On his drive home in his Baby, he didn’t turn the music on. That was a first as he drove right to the liquor store, lost in thought and letting his muscle memory guide him. He went right in, grabbed what he needed, paid, and then walked right out, and before he even realized it, he was home and slipping his key into his apartment door.

Dean’s house was empty. Of course it was. It was clean, but there was practically nothing in there. There was nothing that stood out. There was no personality. He could imagine that it was the absolute opposite of what Cas’s place looked like. He stomped to his prized cabinet and slammed it open, trying not to think of how there would be at least seven paintings hanging up in his hallway if Castiel shared his space.

He slammed the liquor bottle down on the table just to open it. He stomped to the cabinet and took out a glass way too big for what was about to be poured into it, and he got to it. He didn’t feel the burn, and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was simply used to it, or because it blended in with the agony that he already felt.

There was too much to think about. He had blocked out so much, ran from so much, that it was all catching up to him in one night. His entire kingdom of not being lonely was crumbling, and it was crumbling because of one sighting. His whole adult life, all that he had built without any consideration of who he once was, was being dismantled because he saw the ghost of his past once. Once.

As Dean sat at his small kitchen table, he thought about the way Castiel’s eyes had looked years ago when he said the words that broke both of their hearts. He thought about the ache in his own chest while he watched his best friend, his something more, walk out of his bedroom for the last time.

Seeing Castiel again was like a round of rock salt to the chest, and it had him regretting that it wasn’t a real bullet to put him out of his misery.

They had dreams together. They had spoken about it under the stars. There were so many that they had thrown out there like most kids in high school did, but the dream was for Dean to be exactly what Castiel had almost not remembered, a “finance bro” who had money. And Castiel wanted to be a painter or an author, and Dean always believed that he could. He was always so good at it. And they were supposed to do it all together.

He remembered when Castiel used to believe in him, too. Used to believe that he could do good, that he could be strong enough to play through a minor injury, that he could pass all his tests. That he could be a good partner. A good man.

It all crashed over him at one, and he reached out and threw the bottle into the wall. “Fuck!” It shattered, and instead of it bringing him back down to earth, he got even more angry. He looked down at the table, and he was hit with memories from the summer of junior year, when his dad let him and Castiel paint an old table. Cas had made that old, light brown wood into an entirely new piece, transforming it into a beautiful landscape of a garden. Of course Castiel could make regular wood into something worthy enough of being in a museum. He had tried to do the same with Dean, but Dean was just the wood that wouldn’t be sanded down into something smooth, the wood that was too warped-

“Goddamn it!” He shouted, and he punched the table as hard as he could. He ignored the way his knuckles cracked, and he flipped the entire table in a fit of rage, sending glass flying. He picked up the nearest chair and flung it right into the wall, and he was shocked by how easily the legs shattered.

He was losing it. He could feel his mind spiraling faster and faster, like water in a whirlpool, and he felt like he was seconds away from getting sucked right to the bottom. He put the heels of his hands against his eyes, pressing hard, as if that could rid his eyes of the burning of his tears and the images of Castiel, the ghost that haunted every corner of his mind.

Dean wasn’t an idiot. He knew when he was getting to the point of no return. It was rare he needed help, and even more rare when he wanted it, but he could feel himself starting to hyperventilate, and he knew that he didn’t have a lot of time left before the real descent into despair kicked in, and there was only one person who could even begin to help him.

He grabbed his phone, scrolling for one name and one name only. The phone rang three times before it picked up. His hands shook, and his breath was ragged as he tried to speak. “Sammy, I need you to come here.” He offered no explanation and hung up, sliding down to the floor with his head in his hands.

Dean sat there with his hands cradling his head against the wall silently crying to himself. It was the first time he had openly cried in a long time, let alone about Castiel. His heart was heavy as he leaned against the wall, and his mind was racing with so many thoughts that he didn’t even notice Sam come in until he was being touched.

“Woah, Dean,” Sam said, putting his hand on his shoulder, “what- are you okay? What the fuck happened?”

Dean could see his brother looking around the room at the disaster he had caused. Sam looked so concerned that it made Dean’s heart clench even more. He must have looked like shit. “I saw Castiel.”

Sam’s brows shot up. “I’m sorry, you- what?”

“I saw Castiel.” He repeated it just the same, shaking his head. “I fuckin’ saw him at the diner.”

It was quiet for a few moments, and Sam’s hand left his shoulder. “He’s back in town, that’s right,” Sam murmured, and Dean slowly turned his head to look at his brother.

“What do you mean, ‘that’s right’?”

“I keep up with him,” Sam admitted with a shrug, and Dean’s heart dropped. “I knew he was moving back in the area, but I didn’t think you would run into each other. Not so soon, either.”

“You knew?” Dean asked, and he felt his temper rising. How in the hell could Sam know that Castiel Novak of all people was coming back and not mention it? “You should have told me he was coming back.”

“In my defense, every time I pitched the idea of you talking to him, you lost your mind.” Sam looked around again, and Dean didn’t need him to speak to know that he was using his current state as an example.

Dean’s mind made him circle back to one of the first things Sam said. “You keep up with him?”

“He was my friend too, Dean,” Sam defended. “I knew him too.”

“So, what, do you two text each other, or something?”

“I call him on holidays,” Sam said casually, and Dean’s eyes bugged out of his skull.

“Really, Sam?”

“Castiel’s family wasn’t too nice when we were kids and it only got worse,” Sam said, “he doesn’t have a ton of people to go home to during holidays like we do, Dean. I thought you would have remembered that.”

The anger swirled through Dean again. “You think I fucking forgot anything about him?” How could he? Why did everyone think that Dean had just miraculously forgotten everything? Why did everyone think that he didn’t give a fuck? “I didn’t forget, Sam.”

“Well then, you should know why it’s a good idea to call an old friend at Christmastime, Dean.”

They sat there in silence, shoulder to shoulder in brotherly camaraderie. The quiet was nice, even as the urge to scream again started to swell inside of Dean. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, begging to be released from the sight of Castiel in his mind. He was seeing images of him from when he was younger, and he was seeing the newest version, the way he looked now. It was all too much.

“I think that…” Sam sighed. “I think that you should try to meet up with him, Dean.”

“I don’t know if he wants to see me.” Dean wasn’t sure if he could stomach seeing Castiel so close to him again, either. Not without throwing up all over his shoes. Not without falling to his knees and letting the guilt and regret take him.

“I didn’t say that he would say yes,” Sam said, holding his hands up. “But I think you should try. This is… clearly something that’s been sitting on your chest for years. Years.”

“It’s not his job to clear my conscience.”

“Exactly. And I think you know that now,” Sam said candidly. “I think… for the first few years you were feeling more guilt than anything else. You weren’t ready then. But recently it seems like you finally realized that the sinking feeling in your gut isn’t pity.”

He was already sick of Sam and his little therapist act, and he was ready to rip his own fucking hair out. “What?”

“I think you’re finally understanding why nothing helps,” Sam said vaguely. “It's a regret that you’re feeling now. You regret leaving. And I don’t think you’re ever going to be able to move on unless Castiel slams the door on you himself.”

Dean’s heart stuttered. “Slams-”

“He may open it, who knows? But you hurt him real bad.”

“I know.”

“The last memory he has of you is of you hating yourself for being gay.”

“I’m not-”

“You’re gonna have to cut out that denial thing, and you better do ti fast,” Sam said, shaking his head. “You like men and you like women. You can’t keep a girl around because you miss one man in particular. I get it. It's no big deal.”

For a moment, all Dean could do was look at his brother, his little brother who was taller than him, and even more to Dean’s disdain, smarter than him. Emotionally and otherwise. And he knew Sam was right. He knew that he was, but that didn’t change the fact that he was in his millionth year of fighting a battle he never thought he could win.

“I… it’s hard, Sammy.”

“I know it is,” Sam said quietly. “But it’ll be okay. I just want you to be happy, and I think that talking to Castiel might really help you. Whatever it leads to, I really want you to try. I think that one day you two might be able to be on speaking terms. Is that… something you think you would want?”

It was a hard question. Did Dean even want to live knowing Castiel was back in the area, knowing that they wouldn’t ever be anything but cordial if they saw each other again? Or would he rather be his friend, be someone that Castiel smiled at but held at arm’s length? What was worse? Was there a better option? And then Dean remembered how sick he felt when he saw him unprepared, and Dean nodded his head slowly.

“But before you try, Dean,” Sam said, “you have to do some work on yourself. You have to. Or you’re just gonna make it worse. Sit with yourself for a while, okay? Get your mind straight, come to some conclusions. Ask for help if you need to. And when you’re ready, ask me for his number. Alright?”

Dean hardly remembered agreeing, but he must have muttered something, because his brother patted him on the back, sat with him for a few more minutes, and then got up to leave. Dean looked at the nearly empty bottle of liquor from where he was on the floor, and he turned his head away from it.

********

heyyyy people 🤪 i needed this out of the drafts IMMEDIATELY and it was ready!! the next part shouldn’t take long at all, especially because it’s mostly already done. i’m gonna try to catch up on the fourth (and likely last part, unless it runs away from me yet again lol). but yeah if you enjoyed this let me know!! thank you so much for reading 💕💕

@actuallymothman here ya go!! 💕💕

#destiel #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #dean winchester x castiel #destiel au #deancas #dean x castiel #destiel fluff #destiel fanfiction #destiel fanfic #my fics #i wrote this one

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lousypotatoes · 8 months ago

Text

Red Wine

"So we back in the club

With our bodies rockin' from side to side, side-side to side, uh

Thank God the week is done

I feel like a zombie gone back to life, back-back to life~"

DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love - USHER, Pitbull

Previous Next

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And I think the answer is plain to see

I wanna be famous

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags 'cause I've already won

Nothing to do, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

I wanna be

I wanna be famous

I wanna be

I wanna be famous~

Y/N was sleeping soundly in her bed, her pajamas snug to her skin, and the warm blanket covering her body.

All was well, until stupid Chris decided to wake everyone with that stupid horn.

Y/N, and all the other girls in the cabin woke with a start, freaked out by the sound.

"Is he seriously going to wake us up this early in the morning?" Y/N groaned.

"I hate him so much," Bridgette sighed, getting down from the top bunk.

"Campers!" Chris shouted from the megaphone. "I want all your butts outside in ten minutes!"

"I'm lighting myself on fire," Y/N mumbled, as she started to get ready for the day.

All of the team members stood outside the cabin, waiting for Chris' instructions.

"Morning!" Chris said in a way too chipper voice. "Hope you slept well."

"Hi, Chris, you look really buff in those shorts," Heather said, making Y/N want to gag.

"I know," Chris winked. "Okay, I hope you're all ready, because your next challenge begins in exactly one minute!"

"Um what do you mean in one minute?" Y/N spoke up.

"I don't know if that's enough time to eat breakfast," Owen sheepishly said.

"Oh, you'll get breakfast, Owen," Chris smirked. "Right after you complete your twenty-kilometer run around the lake!"

"Oh, so you're funny now?" Eva remarked, walking up to Chris.

"You know what I think would be funny?" Eva asked, Duncan and Geoff trying to hold her back.

"Eva, please try to control your temper," Y/N reasoned.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Eva snarled at Chris.

"A little," Chris smiled. "You have thirty seconds."

~Confessionals~

"Okay, Eva is actually kinda cool, but seriously she needs to learn how to control herself," Y/N explained. "She's already thrown her suitcase out the window and broken the lock on one of the bathroom doors."

"Okay runners!" Chris called out.

Most of the campers were in position to start running. Y/N decided that she was going to run the first half of it, and walk the other half, not wanting to tire herself out too much.

"On your marks, get set, go!"

People like Y/N and Trent immediately began to sprint, but then there were people like Harold and Heather who opted to walk instead.

~Confessionals~

"I don't run," Heather said. "And I definitely don't run in high heeled wedges."

After about an hour, Y/N decided to slow down, stopping for a moment to catch her breath.

"Chris should have given us water," Y/N panted. "Holy shit, that was a lot."

"I didn't know you could run like that," Duncan said out of nowhere, making Y/N jump. "Seeing you run makes me feel a little bit self-conscience."

"Duncan!" Y/N exclaimed. "You scared me!"

"My bad, sweetheart," Duncan laughed.

"How the hell did you catch up with me?" Y/N asked, the two of them walking. "I'm like, one of the farthest ahead."

"It's not that hard to run, you know," Duncan playfully scoffed. "Are you calling me fat, Y/N?"

"Sure, whatever you wanna believe," Y/N said, too tired to defend herself.

"Not even gonna try to deny it?" Duncan asked. "I like that in a girl."

"That makes no sense at all," Y/N said.

"Woah, Y/N!" Chris said, driving buy the two of them on a mini motorcycle. "You're the farthest ahead, I'm impressed."

"Uh, thanks?" Y/N said.

"Surprised to see you here, Duncan," Chris said. "Thought you would of been all the way in the back."

"Eat shit, McLain!" Duncan snapped.

"There's no need to get so vulgar," Chris chuckled. "Anyways, if you're not back by dinner time, you don't eat! So you two might want to pick up the pace."

And with that, Chris drove away.

"Ugh, I hate that guy so much," Duncan frowned.

"I think everyone here does," Y/N said. "How many piercings do you have?"

"Why you asking?" Duncan asked.

"Cause I want to tear them all out," Y/N sad bluntly. "You dumbass, I'm bored and I want to get to know you. Is that allowed?"

"Sorry," Duncan laughed. "No one's ever asked me that, it caught me off guard, my bad."

"So?"

"Oh, right," Duncan sheepishly said. "I have one on my lip, two on my both my ears, and one eyebrow."

"So, five in total?"

"Yup,"

"Cool,"

"I guess,"

There was an awkward silence for a moment, the two of the continuing to walk.

"How long have you had your nose ring?" Duncan asked.

"Only a couple of months," Y/N said. "It was my birthday gift from my dad."

"Did you do it yourself?"

"Nah, I was too scared to,"

"Lame,"

"Go fuck yourself,"

After about an hour and a half, Duncan and Y/N finally made it to the mess hall.

"Chris," Y/N snapped as they walked in. "If I don't get something to drink, I'm setting this whole island on fire."

"Calm down," Chris said. "Since you two are the first ones here, you guys get the privilege of water."

"Water isn't a privilege, but thanks, I guess," Y/N took a water bottle from Chris and handing one to Duncan.

"It is in Africa," Duncan said.

Y/N hit Duncan over the head with her water bottle.

Y/N laid her head down on one of the tables, watching the rest of the campers arrive.

Each one looked more tired than the last, all of them looking like they were going to pass out.

"Clear a table, stat!" Owen suddenly said, barging in.

He was carrying a passed-out Noah and set him down on the other table.

"Oh, God, is he okay?" Y/N asked as Owen started doing CPR on Noah.

"What took you so long?" Courtney whined as Harold arrived. "We just lost the challenge!"

"I think I'm having heart palpitations," Harold said, clutching his chest.

"Hey, wait a minute," Gwen said. "If they lost, that means we won the challenge.

Everyone on the Screaming Gophers started cheering, even Noah who had mysteriously just now woken up.

"Woah there, hold your horses, guys," Chris laughed. "That wasn't the challenge."

"What did you just say?" Gwen asked.

"Who's hungry?" Chris asked as purple curtain opened up, revealing a buffet of delicious food.

Y/N almost burst into tears at the sight of all that food.

There was turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls, gravy, pie, sausage, bacon, and all of Y/N's favorites.

~Confessionals~

"No joke, when I saw that, I was literally about to start bawling," Y/N said. "It was better than other buffet I've been too."

~Confessionals~

"And then I saw it!" Owen said. "The buffet table! It was beautiful. There was turkey, and baked beans, and maple syrup. Can I have a minute?"

Owen then started to cry

Y/N groaned in pain, clutching her bloated stomach. She was now beginning to regret eating all that food.

But at the same time, she wished she ate more.

"Okay campers!" Chris said with the megaphone. "Time for part two of your challenge!"

"I thought eating was the second part," Owen said, his mouth full.

"What more do you want from us?" Gwen asked.

"Weird goth girl is right," Heather agreed, making Gwen glare at her. "Haven't we been through enough?"

"Um, let me think about that," Chris said. "No!"

"It's time for the Awake-a-thon!"

"The what-a-thon?" Owen asked.

"Don't worry," Chris said. "This is an easy one. The team with the last camper standing wins invincibility."

"So, what you're saying is that the twenty-kilometer run that we did, and all that food we just ate was to make it harder for us to stay awake?" Y/N asked.

"That's right Y/N!" Chris smiled.

"Damn, he's good," Y/N frowned.

"Move! Move! Move!" Chris exclaimed.

"How long do you think it'll be before everyone's out cold?" Duncan said as him and Y/N walked out the mess hall.

"Mhm maybe an hour," Y/N answered, but then she saw Owen already looking like he was about to pass out.

"Maybe less,"

Twelve hours later, and Y/N already felt like she was dying.

All of the campers, including her, had dark circles under their eyes.

"Woohoo!" Owen said. "I can do this in my sleep!"

Owen then passed out, falling asleep.

"I knew he was going to be the first one to go," Y/N mumbled.

~Confessionals~

"The Awake-a-thon was definitely the most brutal thing I've ever done in my life," Gwen said

"This is the most boring thing I've ever done in my life," Y/N heard Gwen say.

"Could be way worse," Trent yawned.

"Oh yeah?" Gwen asked. "How?"

"Well, I could be stuck here without you to talk to," Trent smiled.

Y/N and Duncan fake gagged.

~Confessionals~

"So, my strategy is to get two other campers to form an alliance with me and take to the final three," Heather smirked. "The only question is who can I find that is either desperate or dumb enough to do whatever I say?"

"Duncan," Y/N said. "If I die because of this stupid challenge, promise me you'll play Britney Spears at my funeral."

"You like Britney Spears?" Duncan laughed. "I should of know you'd be into white girl music."

"I don't know whether to be offended or to laugh," Y/N scoffed. "What do you listen to then?"

"Green Day or Avril Lavigne," Duncan yawned.

"You listen to Avril Lavigne?" Y/N laughed.

"Did I say that?" Duncan corrected himself. "Nah, I like uh, blink-182."

"You can't make fun of me for liking Britney when you like Avril," Y/N giggled.

"Fine," Duncan sighed. "I like Avril Lavigne, a lot. But you gotta promise not to tell anyone."

"Your secret's safe with me," Y/N smiled.

"Good,"

"So what's your favorite song from her?"

They had just now passed the twenty-four-hour mark, Y/N and Duncan were still awake, but barely.

The one's who fell asleep on the Killer Bass Team were Harold, Bridgette, Katie, and Sadie.

"Favorite snack?" Y/N asked.

"Probably pretzels," Duncan replied. "What about you?"

"Umm F/S," Y/N said.

"Good choice," Duncan nodded. "Uh, favorite drink?"

"Probably-"

Suddenly, they were interrupted by the sound of Tyler screaming.

"What the hell?" Y/N giggled.

"Congratulations campers!" Chris said. "You've made it to the twenty-four-hour mark. Time to take things up a notch!"

Chris took a white sheet off of a big lump, revealing a big pile of books.

"Fairytales," Chris smirked.

"Oh, he's not serious," Gwen frowned.

Y/N had to cover up her mouth to keep from laughing when she saw Chef dressed in a pink sheep suit, holding a harp.

Chris cleared his throat before he started to read.

"Once upon a time," he said very slowly. "There was, inside this boring kingdom, a boring village. And inside this boring, sleepy village, filled with very boring children, who did very boring things...."

"I have died and gone to Hell," Y/N mumbled. "That is the only explanation for this."

"At least we're in Hell together," Duncan smirked.

"You wish," Y/N scoffed.

Out of nowhere, Chef appeared again, but this time, he was wearing a pink ballerina outfit.

Y/N could only stare in shock and in amusement.

He started dancing, throwing sparkles at the campers, which made them yawn.

"What the hell did I sign up for?" Y/N yawned.

It had now been officially forty hours since the challenge started.

Y/N didn't even know how she was still awake.

"Uhhh, favorite movie?" she asked.

"Die Hard, all the way," Duncan answered.

"Ugh, of course you like Die Hard," Y/N scoffed.

"What's not to like?" Duncan said. "There's action, and guns, and people die."

"I know, I've seen the movie,"

"What's your favorite movie then since you wanna judge so much, huh?"

"You promise not to laugh?" she yawned.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," he also yawned.

"Beauty and the Beast," Y/N said.

"I knew you would be into the cheesy love stories," Duncan laughed.

"I think it's romantic," Y/N said, hitting Duncan's arm. "And besides, you can't beat the classics."

"Die Hard is a classic,"

"Beauty and the Beast is more of a classic,"

"No it's not,"

"Literally yes it is,"

"No it is-"

Y/N and Duncan's bickering got cut of by the sight of Owen sleep walking.

Now normally, this wouldn't of of bothered them, and they would of went back to bickering over Die Hard and Beauty and the Beast.

But Owen was completely naked.

Y/N's eyed widened as she saw his clothes strewn on the ground a few feet away from her and Duncan.

Y/N and Duncan looked at each other, looks of disbelief and disgust on their face.

"I think I might barf,"

~Confessionals~

"Did I mention that I ate the entire dish of baked beans and maple syrup?" Owen said. "Funny thing about baked beans they make me sleepwalk."

Duncan and Y/N were leaning their backs on each other.

She felt like her eyebags were burning themselves into her skin.

"You still awake?" Duncan asked.

"Unfortunately," Y/N said. "It's like I'm so tired that I'm not tired anymore. Does that make sense?"

"I have no idea, sweetheart," Duncan asked. "Favorite TV show?"

"Friends," she replied. "Favorite color?"

"Neon green, obviously,"

"Oh, don't be a smartass,"

"You like it, I know you do,"

"Uh-huh, I like it so much,"

The two of them sat there without saying a word. Y/N looked up at the dark starry sky.

"I can't wait for this challenge to be over," she finally said.

"You and me both," Duncan yawned. "At least I have you to talk to,"

"Keep all that mushy stuff to yourself," Y/N slightly giggled.

"You know what I meant," Duncan scoffed, lightly punching her arm.

It had been fifty one hours since the challenge started.

Y/N felt like she was getting ready to go crazy.

"Look at him," she heard Gwen say. "He's like a statue!"

Y/N looked up and saw that Gwen was talking about Justin

He was standing upright and his eyes were completely open, not blinking once.

Y/N raised hey eyebrows in doubt.

"He hasn't moved in over fifty hours!"

Gwen and Trent then started to make noises, hoping that Justin would blink or acknowledge them.

He didn't.

"Amazing, look at the concentration," Gwen said.

Y/N, smelling the bullshit, stood up and walked over to where Justin was. She poked him in the face, and he stirred.

He opened his eyes

Turns out his eyelids were painted.

Gwen gasped, while Y/N smirked in satisfaction.

"His eyelids are painted I saw it!" Eva yelled.

"Get out!" Chris said in disbelief. "Oh, I've got to see this."

Chris walked over to where Justin was standing and started to inspect his face.

"That is so crazy incredible!" Chris exclaimed. "But, you're still out dude."

Eighty five hours.

It had been eighty five hours.

Is this what Hell is like?

Is this karma for some of the bad things Y/N did?

Y/N didn't even know if she was alive.

The only people that were awake were Heather, Trent, Gwen, Y/N, Duncan, and Eva.

Y/N sat on a log, watching as Duncan put a sleeping Harold's hand in a cup of warm water.

"Oh, gross it works!" Duncan exclaimed. "Dude peed his pants."

Y/N wanted to laugh, but felt like she didn't have the energy to.

Harold gasped when he woke up, trying to cover himself up.

She looked around and saw everyone who was out of the challenge begin to wake up.

If this were any other circumstance, she would have peed her pants from laughing so hard when she saw Noah cuddling Cody and kissing his earlobe.

"I'd kill for a coffee right now," Gwen yawned.

"Literally same," Y/N smiled, getting a small smile from Gwen in return.

"What is the matter with you people?" Chris sipped on his coffee. "Come on, fall asleep already!"

"You gotta hook me up, man!" Gwen said, pulling on Chris' leg. "I'll even eat the grinds! Anything!"

Chris shook Gwen off him.

"Alright, you six stay with me," Chris said to the people who stayed awake. "The rest of you go and get a shower for Heaven's sake! You stink!"

Y/N rubbed her eyes as all the other campers walked off.

"I didn't want it to come to this. I said that to Chef Hatchet last night," Chris said. "I said 'Chef, I don't want it to come to this, but damn it, these campers are tough' and so I've come up with the most boring sleep inducing activity I can find."

~Confessionals~

"Oh come on, what now?" Gwen said. "Okay you know what? Bring it on!"

~Confessionals~"

"There's nothing more boring than trying to stay awake for eighty hours," Y/N grumbled. "Whatever he thinks of is going to be a piece of cake."

Chris pulled out a large, thick, red book.

"The history of Canada," he smugly said. "A pop-up book. Chapter one, the beaver. National symbol, and a 'real' fine hat."

Everyone groaned and grumbled.

"Whatever you do, don't fall asleep," Duncan mumbled, sitting next to her as Chris droned on and on about a dumb beaver.

"You too," Y/N whispered, staring at the ground.

Now there were only four people left.

Gwen, Trent, Duncan, and Y/N.

Y/N smirked when she saw that Chris was also getting tired.

"Trent!" Gwen said suddenly.

Y/N looked and saw that Trent collapsed on the ground, fast asleep.

"Don't leave me!" she said.

"Time for a bathroom break!" Chris suddenly said. "Any takers?"

"I've held it for this long, I can go all day!"

Duncan looked like he about to burst.

"Yea, but can you hold it for another ten chapters?" Gwen smirked.

"You've got five minutes," Chris said. "As long as you don't mind a little company."

Gwen sighed.

"Y'know, you and Trent would be cute together," Y/N smiled.

"Really? You think so?" Gwen asked.

"Totally,"

"Thanks," Gwen smiled. "You and Duncan look cute together, too."

"Not my type," Y/N scoffed.

"Uh-huh, whatever you tell yourself."

Y/N closed her eyes for a second, only a second, but didn't want to open them back up.

So she didn't.

Before she knew it, Y/N was being woken up to vote who she wanted to go home.

Y/N didn't really know who to vote for, so she chose someone random.

She didn't remember who though, since she was on the brink of death.

Everyone on the Killer Bass looked like they wanted to sleep for the next month.

Y/N felt the same way, except she wanted to sleep for the rest of her life.

She sat on a stump next to Duncan. She had to force herself to keep her eyes open, because she knew that if she closed them, even for a second, she was going to collapse.

"You've all cast your votes and made your decision," Chris said. "There are only nine marshmallows on this plate. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers and leave. And you can never come back. Ever."

"The first marshmallow goes to Y/N,"

Y/N very slowly walked up and claimed her marshmallow.

"Duncan,"

"Bridgette,"

"Courtney,"

"Katie and Sadie,"

Both of the squealed making Y/N cringe.

"Tyler,"

"DJ,"

"Geoff,"

The last two that were left without a marshmallow was Eva and Harold.

"Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening," Chris said, staying silent for a few moments for the dramatic effect.

Y/N ate her marshmallow, not really caring in that moment who stayed and who went home.

All she really focused on was how good this marshmallow was.

Were marshmallows always this delicious?

"Harold," Chris finally said.

Harold smiled and claimed his marshmallow.

"Eva, the Dock of Shame awaits,"

"Nice," Eva seethed. "Really nice. Who needs this stupid fucking TV show anyway?"

As Eva stomped away, she stopped and kicked Chris in the shin.

"Ow!" Chris yelled. "Have a good night's sleep tonight, you're all safe."

~Confessionals~

"I feel bad for Eva, but not really," Y/N said. "From what I heard from Bridgette, she was acting totally crazy. You can't act like raging psycho and then get mad at people when they don't forgive you."

~Confessionals~

"So Eva was one of their strongest players," Heather smirked. "And now she's gone. I am so running this game."

Y/N trudged off back to her bunk, not even bothering to say goodnight to Duncan or anyone else.

She would explain to him another time, but for now, all she really cared about was getting some sleep.

Without putting her pajamas on, she fell asleep as soon as her hit the pillow.

She hoped that the next challenge wasn't as brutal as this one.

if i had to stay awake for eighty hours straight, i would probably commit a felony tbh

AINT NO WAY IM STAYIN UP FOR THAT LONG

stay safe and drink lots of water <33

xoxo, Issy

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dominos-pizza-squad · 11 months ago

Text

"You're going to have to."

I don't usually write meta on account of doing my best to avoid Fandom Drama like the plague and even a hint of Star Wars meta is like a siren call to Drama but. I have Thoughts about this scene and now I'm going to share them and if you're here for anti-Mace Windu thoughts this is not the post for you my friend.

Every time I see meta or reference to this scene it's used as more 'proof' that Windu was totally the worst and we shouldn't feel at all bad about him being maimed and thrown to his death which sure is a take, and on the surface I can understand why. When you don't bother to look more into that scene it does come off as Windu being a rude bitch to a child whose dad died in front of him, which is pretty uncool.

But this is a meta post and I am here to look more into this scene. I want to start with the concept of forgiveness, because when I go, I go big. I feel like a lot of the antipathy toward this scene (and by extension toward Windu) come from the fact that again, on a surface-level reading, it looks like Windu is demanding Boba's forgiveness for Jango's death, when we all know that's not how that works. That is, in fact, a concept that to most of us is viscerally offensive- our knee-jerk reaction is something more along the lines of "screw you i resent you more now" than it is "well okay that seems reasonable". Because you can't just demand somebody's forgiveness and expect it to happen. All that is is another wrong against the person you've already wronged. It's pure conceitedness and self-interest.

It's also not what Windu was trying to say to Boba in that scene. Not even remotely, in my opinion, and I'll explain why.

Think about the way the Jedi teach, particularly the way they teach philosophical concepts- they don't simply tell their students what to think, they tell them something and then make them think about themselves. Jedi are always expected to look deeper into a lesson to see what they can get out of it, this is the way Windu's lived his whole life, of course this is the way he speaks to Boba even though Boba's not a Jedi.

It's not exactly a hot take to say that Mace Windu and Boba Fett have very different ways of approaching the world. This is important to remember, though, because it guides the way that Windu interacts with Boba in this scene. When Boba swears he's never going to forgive him, Windu looks him in the eye and says, "Well, you're going to have to." And when he says that he's not saying that as some kind of ultimatum, he's saying that as a statement of fact.

What Windu is really saying to Boba in this scene isn't "forgive me 'cuz i said so". What he's saying is "your father cannot come back, and you will have to find a way to live with that so it doesn't consume you". Because what was Boba saying when he said "I'll never forgive you"? It wasn't just "I hate you", it was "I hate you, and I hate you so much that I don't care who I destroy in the process of destroying you". Sure, he expresses regret for all of the actual human beings that died because of his actions, but he follows it up with an utter refusal to acknowledge that those actions were wrong. What he was saying was "I hate you, and I hate you so much that I don't care who I destroy in the process of destroying you, even if it's myself."

Boba has done some genuinely horrible things by this point. He's put other children's lives at risk. He's crashed a star destroyer and killed who knows how many people. Maybe he didn't shoot the injured clones himself when they went in and took their hostages, but they wouldn't have died there if it weren't for him. He is directly responsible for the death of a man whose only crime was walking through the wrong door at the wrong time. He has charged headfirst down a path of death and destruction that will spread misery everywhere he goes.

And now Windu- who has just lost all of these men, lost Ponds, nearly lost his own life to Boba's actions- is looking down at this twelve-year-old boy, and he doesn't want this for him. He so badly doesn't want this for him, but he cannot make Boba's choices. All he can do is try and tell him "this path you're on is not worth it".

Because that, in my opinion, is what he means when he says "You're going to have to." He's not saying that he's entitled to anything from Boba (because he might have killed Jango in self-defense, but his motives and intentions don't change the fact that his actions hurt Boba), he's saying that Boba has to let go of that hatred before it ruins his life.

Which is exactly what it does! What happens to Boba in the end? He continues alone down his path of hate and misery, until he gets eaten by a sarlacc and enslaved by Tuskens. He had so little, and he loses even that. And it's no one's fault but his own.

But.

But. Finally, so many years after he started down that path, he does what Windu said. Finally, he lets that anger go. Finally, he gets to become what he could have been if he hadn't let himself be consumed by his rage. And that's why I liked The Book of Boba Fett, despite its flaws, because we get to see that change. After forty-odd years of strife, Boba finally gets to be a man at peace. And that's exactly what I think Windu would have wanted.

#i drank four mai tais and stayed up til 2 am and these are the thoughts that came out #pro jedi #in defense of the jedi #my star wars opinions #star wars #star wars prequels #the clone wars #star wars meta #mace windu #boba fett #long post

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poptartcat · 2 months ago

Text

My 100% honest thoughts on The Outsiders Musical

Hey so I watched the musical and I definitely have Thoughts. But to make things easier I’ll start with my bad ones and good ones (they’re about equal)

Bad things

Holy crap they all got butchered.

Dally’s so soft??? I knew he probably would be and it feel too off for Run Run Brother and by Little Brother he’s already been like “Woah Johnny’s gone” so it didn’t feel wrong but the whole time? Yikes man. And he’s not supposed to be so nice to Johnny, and definitely not the rest of the gang. And in softening him it kind of loses the blow of WHY him deciding to take his life was so big. I DO like their decision to talk about how much he traveled and how they thought he was skipping town though, and to make it him getting hit by a train. My guy Soda is shirtless a lot of the time he’s on stage (or at least at the start) and it kinda rubs me the wrong way. And I didn’t really like his section during Grease Got A Hold bc yes, people think he’s hot but he’s much more than that and the musical doesn’t touch on that as much as I hoped. And I literally had to read the freaking script to realize Steve was even in the musical to begin with. I didn’t know that other guy was him. Two-Bit… well, nothing really. But he’s not as relevant as I expected so I can’t even really note much. I think Ace was an unnecessary addition because she didn’t do anything. At all. Didn’t even remember her name. Just was confused as to who she was and I think the musical fandom has their work cut out for them.

Ponyboy, Darry, and especially Johnny got well done compared to their book counterparts. I like how we get a less fearful dynamic but at the same time, it’s only been a week within the musical since he got jumped so why isn’t he more affected? Why isn’t he as scared as he was in the book or movie? I constantly forget he got jumped but he’s super faithful to the book and movie. I think Darry’s a little more aggressive than I expected but if they dialed down the physical nature of it a smidge I think he was otherwise perfect. I think their choice to have Dally and Darry have this kind of rivalry was interesting but it would’ve been better suited as maybe Soda and Darry with Darry seeing how Pony idolizes Soda and getting angry (and maybe manifesting in him later yelling at Soda which then causes the slap yk?). And also just SO MUCH rejecting of being a greaser was also interesting because yeah, he could’ve been a soc but he didn’t hate being a greaser. More like he hated that it held him back sometimes. (Also I noticed he wore the same pants Socs did and idk if that was intentional but that was SUCH a cool detail.) Ponyboy was maybe the most in character. The only thing I really disagree with his how much they kind of tried to push the “he’s our chance! He’s very different from everyone else!” (“Look he wants to be a Soc” comment from Bob at the start. Soda when they’re in bed. Great expectations existing. Grease Got A Hold existing like as if he didn’t already smoke and grease his hair and get into rumbles) and they just treat him like this innocent like he’s not no connection to this world he grew up in, yk? Didn’t always like it but was def part of it.

The pacing was bad. They put so so many songs almost back to back there was no time to breathe. The only one I thought fit was Grease Got A Hold right into Runs In The Family because it’s the majority of the gang and then Darry, who keeps rejecting his greaser name throughout the musical. But I think Grease Got A Hold, Great Expecations, and Trouble, maybe Far Away from Tulsa and/or Death’s At My Door could’ve all been cut out, as much as I love them. I think they could’ve spent more time building the story and possibly the character dynamics. I also think Grease Got A Hold could’ve replaced the scene where Ponyboy asks everyone why they fight. I did think it was and I think it makes so much more sense there because Grease Got A Hold literally felt so thrown in there as I was watching. Tf you mean this chronic smoker, proud-of-his-greasy-hair boy needed to be dubbed a “real” greaser?? No??? But really if I wasn’t previously invested I wouldn’t really understand. I didn’t understand at moments even with that knowledge.

And this one’s a small gripe but Paul and Bob Just how it felt like Paul was only thrown in because Paul and Darry but they don’t actually do anything with that. Nothing with Pony also knowing Paul. Nothing with Darry knowing Paul. Nothing with Johnny now knowing Bob by name and all them knowing Paul and Bob associate and how Paul and Darry’s past may be why they targeted Ponyboy and Johnny and later Two-Bit because it’s all so glossed over it makes me mad. You have this now do something!!

Even smaller gripe but Ponyboy remembering his dreams :( He’s not supposed to that’s why they’re scary. And they’re not dreams they’re nightmares. That’s why Soda and Ponyboy sleep together.

Good things

THE ACTORS WERE FABULOUS!!! I kept looking at the background to see how the other characters reacted and they were ALWAYS acting that is real dedication!!! Even the little glances, the fiddling, the subtle pout just UGH IT WAS SO AMAZING!!! They were also SO GOOD at conveying the emotions. Their acting felt so raw, so real!!!! Freaking phenomenon.

The choreography and cinematography was GOREGOUS!! The rumble? Mmm so good!!! I geeked out when they all synced. The scenes where everything freezes or slows had me so excited, like the slap or the fountain!!! And OH MY GOD Justice for Tulsa was so cool with the flashlight and how they interrogated a bunch of people individually was SO MAGICAL GENUINELY!!!! Also when the way they play with lightning was so genius!!! The way some characters go in and go out and sometimes it snaps into place and sometimes it’s a soft switch!!! Oh and during the fire scene and Johnny’s final scene I was SAT. And they’re all such good dancers I gasped when they did that thing where they jump and do a crap ton of turns or were super synced or the slow-mos that genuinely had me forgetting they were doing that LIVE!!

Their singing was next level!! I know they’re literally on broadway but I squealed like a pig every time they started and I could talk for hours about it! (Pun intended)

I like their decision with Dally and the train. I think it’s the next best things that suits his character because they’re both always on the move, always going from place to place, which they mention a lot of Dally doing in the musical. They’re also both unstoppable. You can’t stop them until it’s too late. They didn’t stop, as expected.

Also the choice to have the Curtis parents hit by a not just a train, but actively mention that it was the one that “ran down the belly of the beast” I just LOVE. I think it symbolizes like, the tragedy both sides share and maybe how the rivalry, the split will be the thing to end them all (sounds stupid but idk exactly how to phrase it). Just the train existing as their split had me sitting up and listening intently. ALSO THE FACT THAT IT WAS ON DARRY’S BIRTHDAY!!!! He’s a winter baby, the Curtis parents died in the winter but I just can’t believe it exists in one of the canons. Pony’s birthday present was no frosting and dead parents, so when I think about it like that I can actually see why Darry’s so aggressive. Hm. His birthday isn’t his birthday anymore it’s his parentification day. It’s his hopeless, hopeless day and I think the musical should’ve touched on both that and his and Paul’s relationship more. (But I already said that)

Just. The train. The train being the center, the middle.

Johnny being there for the slap has fed me. I especially noticed the background acting there bc Sky I think looked uncomfortable. And it’s a good lead up to Far Away From Tulsa, and very in character I think because if the Curtis brothers are hitting each other? Yeah no. And he only didn’t run away bc of the gang but now he can only really trust Pony (Darry didn’t mean it but he’s probably lost some trust there) and Pony’s telling him they should leave so why not?

I liked the Cherry lore drop abt her family. This + Emma’s hc of Paul and Cherry being siblings + their dynamic has me begging for more.

And Marcia I really like here in particular. I think the actor (I feel really bad for not knowing her name) just conveyed her in such a way that it clicked. And they did it well without Two-Bit as a catalyst for jokes. I think also the acting in Justice For Tulsa was really great!!!!

THE USE OF STAY GOLD’S INSTRUMENTAL WHEN THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT THE POEM HAD ME JUMP AND POINT LIKE AN ANIMAL I LOVED IT!!!

That’s all I can think of at the moment but I may make another post if I can think of more things.

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