#a lot of my writing seems to be internal monologue-heavy but i enjoy it when his voice comes across :>

[worldoshaking]

15 lines of dialogue

Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Thank you @ferrocyan for the tag! <3 Tagging @theworldwalkerswols and @crystal-verse if you want to do this :)

*

‘This is, of course, entirely my fault,’ said G’raha. ’I shall be sure to tell Rowena so.’

‘I don’t think the toad was,’ said Fyfnar. ’You could hardly have anticipated that.’

’I—I suppose not,’ said G’raha, a little uncertainly.

Fyfnar began to laugh. ’Oh, Raha. This isn’t nearly the worst mishap I’ve had on an errand. At least it’s the boxes in the lake, and not us.’ Then he stopped, struck by a sudden thought, and eyed the ripples speculatively. ’Now there’s an idea. Hold my hat.’

*

‘Have you seen a pink chocobo?’

’I saw one in Ishgard last year,’ said Fyfnar, trying to keep his head still. ’It was exceedingly fluffy. It did try to bite me, but I’m sure there were faults on both sides.’

G’raha coughed. ’I think he means a sighting of a more recent provenance.’

’Oh! No, we haven’t,’ said Fyfnar. ’Have you lost one?’

*

’There was something of a contretemps on the way here,’ said G’raha. ’You see, we, er—’

’There was a very big toad,’ said Fyfnar.

*

“Smell the mountain air! Isn’t it splendid?” said Fyfnar rapturously. He lifted his face to the sky and took a deep breath, only to start spluttering as an unaccustomed aroma hit his nose. “Actually, I wouldn’t recommend doing that,” he said, chastened, when he could speak again.

*

‘Raha, Raha!’ said Fyfnar. He resisted the urge to take him in his arms and squeeze him very hard. ‘I’ve lost you three times now. I can hardly bear to let you out of my sight for fear you’ll slip through my fingers again. And besides, I wouldn’t go to bed at this hour.’

*

(excerpt from correspondence with Ser Aymeric)

’As for what I’ve been doing, I’m not entirely certain how much I ought to tell you. The truth is, I have been engaged in some endeavours of a rather dashing nature, that I think the romantic in you would appreciate, but that perhaps the statesman in you had rather not know about. Rest assured, my friend, that it will mean nothing but the good of your land and many others, although our manner of achieving that good might be better not spoken of—for the present, at least.’

[wrathofrats]

hi hi hello could you please expand on aether's complicated feelings about dew's elemental transition? (im so hooked on your lore hdv3bdkcg)

Hi omg I’ve been meaning to write a longer official piece about this, so thank you for the excuse for something like that! I’m so happy you’re enjoying my lore side of stuff omg it makes me so giddy???

Basically going through aethers internal monologue of what he feels following the events. Reminder he is going through very heavy guilt and his feelings are a lot more dramatized than what actually happened

No one blames him, only he blames himself

Warnings for angst, guilt, mild self destructive behaviors

For the lore I’m talking about or more context please see #wraths ghost lore (not super necessary, just know aether did dews transition)

He remembers how the magic burned through his fingers.

The way he could see it creep through dews veins as he bled it in through his arms. He remembers the panicked look he gave omega who kept dewdrop subdued on the table as he screamed.

The thoughts don’t go away, haven’t left him in months. The sight of dews face twisted in pain stains the back of his eyes when he sleeps and he can’t look at him without seeing the wounds that have long since healed. It’s his handiwork at the end of the day. The scars over dew's gills are his doing, the burning flare ups dew gets in his joints are his fault. The breakdowns dew has over his new element can only be blamed on aether and he doesn’t think he will ever feel right with himself again over it.

Dews told him it’s not his fault more times than he can count. The now fire ghoul can feel the shame and pity that aether stares at him with.

“I wanted this aeth” dew rubs his hand over aethers shoulder “it had to be done”

“I know” aether leans into the touch.

But he doesn’t

The blood on his hands doesn’t seem to dry. No amount of reassurance that he had to do it takes the guilt away.

There are people out there that have to put down sick dogs, and aether wonders if the blood on their hands disappears when they clock out. Aether wonders if maybe that’s his fate too. If his job was something akin to putting down a sick dog. If he’s intervened in a divine destiny and he’s only created some half put together Frankenstein of his own friend.

He wonders if he’s only simply prolonged the inevitable.

And even if he did save dew he wonders if it was fair to have the responsibility put on himself. A god of force and not of willingness.

The sight of dew sometimes is too much to handle. Not because of any physical shock, he still looks like his dew, but the knowledge of the pain makes aethers stomach crawl up his throat. Dew would’ve been better off without him, he’s sure of it considering how he only seems to hurt him. The thought reassures itself more and more as the time passes. Dews' desperate attempts to wrangle his friend from the depths of guilt only make him feel worse. This shouldn’t be his job. Not after what he’s been through.

Aether retreats. Closes himself off more and more from those who wish to support him most. The genuine belief that he’s harmed someone is truly more than he can bear to handle, let alone to constantly see the fruits of his labor tell him how much he loves him.

His door stays locked most days. His relationships slip from his fingers in his own self wallowing. A recluse of his own fault but

Is there a more fitting fate for him?

[teanderthalrex]

Swordcrossed by Freya Marske

I picked this book up originally because the cover is GORGEOUS. And the description sounded fun and it seemed like an easy read.

I was right on all counts.

The story follows Matti Jay, head of a prominent textile household on the verge of destitution, as he solicits the help of swordman and con-artist Luca Piere to ensure that his wedding to a local wealthy wine-owner's daughter goes smoothly. In the deal they make, Luca also agrees to give Matti lessons in the sword. The lessons quickly go from instructional to steamy, and not only that, but it seems there may be a conspiracy afoot to bring Matti's entire family down, and our protagonists must keep their hands to themselves long enough to get their hands on the evidence as they unravel the fabric of this mystery.

The spice in this book is delectable and there's a surprising amount of political drama around textiles that I wasn't expecting. Marske has a writing style I can only describe as couldnt-put-it-down akin to fanfic. I think I read this whole thing in 24 hours? If I have a gripe about this, it's that it fell into a trope for a few chapters in the back half I wasn't a fan of but it handled it quickly and I enjoyed the rest of the book so much it didn't make much difference.

If you want more queer romantasy in your life, definitely pick this up. 4/5 stars.

Spoilers Below vvv

Okay.

I had a moment while reading this book (I can tell you exactly where) when I mistook Luca for Stiles and now that lives rent-free in my head. Like, I'm honestly tempted to write a conspiracy theory about it. Though I think a lot of the similarities are coincidence.

That aside, as a Sterek reader, I have a love of responsibility-heavy trash fires who fall for mouthy pretty boys so if you do too, please read this.

Luca and Matti have a moment of what I can only call classic miscommunication trope for a couple chapters in this that I would have liked to have seen Marske work in a different way. I just don't really enjoy miscommunication when I know the genre and can see how it won't last. It puts me in a waiting room, reading-wise, where I'm just waiting for either of them to talk to each other.

That being said, there's an aspect to those chapters that kind of redeems it. Like yes it's miscommunication but also Luca did betray Matti's trust by lying to him about who he was and I think the chapters where they aren't speaking are made better by the attempts Luca makes to redeem himself to Matti (even if I totally get not outing yourself as a fugitive to a guy who's marrying someone else soon anyway). So I didnt hate hate it.

I don't know how to feel about the -nesh ending at the end of all the Jays' names. And I felt some of the villains were a wee bit cartoonish (Corus and his son).

The best parts of the story were definitely anytime Matti and Luca were on page together and anytime Matti was interacting with his family. Also Luca's internal monologue.

I'm definitely going to check out some other stuff by Marske in the future (A Marvelous Light has been on my TBR since like 2022 so I'll probably start there).

[lookedlikethebins]

Could you tell us about all the wips you have planned cus I can't keep track anymore 👀

omg i'm so so sorry i really do talk about a bunch don't i? i've always got a bunch of fics going at once so no matter what i feel like writing i have something i can jump into... which must make keeping track a nightmare. so yes! let me recap for you:

in no particular order we have:

shirt-sharing fic: this one keeps changing (and taking longer to write than i wanted lol) but essentially the bare bones idea is matty borrows a shirt from george before a interview with the whole band and it Doesn't Go Unnoticed.

new parents fic: a brief glimpse/collection of glimpses into the life & times of new parents george and matty!

the "if i believe you" fic: based on a line in a poem: "God did a very good job with you." it's in the country recording studio/abiior-era and matty just has a lot of thoughts about how God makes good things-- of course He does-- but he, himself, is not one of those things. but george is. george is divine, matty just is. (very prose/internal monologue heavy and i'm loving writing it tbh.)

non-famous!matty fic: george, ross, and adam are still (a version of) the 1975. waughy has this really nice officemate at the uni he's teaching at that's a TA/PhD candidate for the lit dept. george has to pick waughy up for rehearsal one day and the rest is history... we just get to see matty being The Biggest Fan of the 1975 and also, entirely by coincidence, being bespectacled and having hot takes on books (that i'm reading...)

the gatty ft. raughy fic: matty is apparently the last person to know that two of his closest friends/bandmates are dating and he's confused that 1. he missed it completely 2. everyone else (including his own husband) seemed to know but him and 3. they let him just Be That Oblivious for years. he starts paying closer attention and enjoys seeing his friends happy (with the correct context now)

camera roll collection: basically i found a bunch of candids (taken by the band/jordan) of matty and/or george and said, context be damned, i'm using this as a photo prompt like i'm in middle school and this is a timed essay. first picture is this 2019 pic of matty at the airport.

the hours of the left behind part ii: this fic was originally intended to be a standalone of the hours right after george drops matty off to fly to barbados. but now part ii is when george picks him up and tries to help matty readjust to being home. but also matty begins to sees how george was while he was away (having put on a brave smile every time matty called).

(be my) god and country ch 3/epilogue: not sure how i want to expand this universe bc i really love the foundations that fic has for timelines/ideas on certain aspects of their relationship that i want to keep returning to and building on (and not rewriting again and again lol) BUT i have ideas for a honeymoon maybe, a wintering-type fic where they go home for christmas, they talk about having kids... it's a whole world of possibilities!! open to suggestions...

[ragnarlothcat]

👐, 💋, 💫 , 🍭, 🎈

Thank you for so many!!! 💙💙💙 (for this ask game)

🤲 what do YOU get out of writing?

I mentioned the personal and creative fulfillment in the previous ask but the other thing is the community and immediate gratification of fic writing. I do write original fiction too and I miss the feedback I get when I post a new chapter in a fic. It's hard finishing something up without getting to hear people's favourite silly little joke, you know? I'm weak!!!

💋 when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

Hmm I don't feel especially strongly one way or another 🤔 If I've asked a question then I suppose I like getting an answer. And there have been a couple of times I've left an author multiple comments and not gotten responses and I do slightly worry that it's because they hate me and want me to stop commenting but I recognize that my reaction is ridiculous and entirely in my head. In general I'm fine either way and if an author isn't replying because they're busy and/or overwhelmed I get it and I would never want to add any pressure to them!

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

It's probably a cop-out but I really do like most of them! Yeah the in-depth comments with theories and notes on characterization and stuff are incredible (and I am hugging everyone who has ever sent one of those) but I do enjoy the simple heart emojis or "kudos!" comments too.

I guess the only things I don't like are impatient demands for an update (believe me, I promise I feel bad enough about my WIPs already) or when people are very critical of a character or call them stupid in a non-affectionate way. Most of the time the vibe is "they're stupid because the pining is so obviously mutual!!!" but in a fun way because we know we're reading an idiots to lovers fic so obviously the pining is mutual but sometimes the tone is off or something and it feels like a criticism of my characterization because Obi-Wan is not that stupid in canon so why am I writing him like that? Idk, even when my characters are doing something dumb I want their actions to seem rational to them and it makes me worry I'm not accomplishing that. I'm probably being too sensitive but those comments do make me overthink (even more than usual).

🍭 why did you start writing?

It's a bit silly in retrospect but I started writing obikin specifically because I'd been reading fics for a couple months (and loving them!) but it seemed to me that a lot of fics were about how handsome and amazing Obi-Wan is and there were fewer talking up Anakin. Which I do get a) because Anakin goes on multiple killing sprees and helps run a fascist dictatorship for 20 years and b) it's harder to write Obi-Wan pining over Anakin because of the power imbalance between them. Even I struggled with it when I wrote my one master/padawan fic and I made it extremely clear that Anakin had been in love with Obi-Wan for ages already.

But the first obikin fic I ever wrote was a 5+1 that could be summarized as "everyone thinks Anakin is extremely charming and pretty" and honestly I've never really strayed from that. I like to think there's more going on but whenever I write from Obi-Wan's POV I tend to go a bit overboard with the immediate attraction. In my defence Anakin is very cute.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

I'd say: not very poetic, lots of dialogue (I write dialogue first and fill in the gaps afterwards) and heavy on the POV character's internal monologue. I often struggle to describe what characters are doing and then I start making everyone shrug constantly to compensate. If I didn't find first person POV kind of annoying it would probably be a natural fit for my writing. I try to change things up occasionally especially if I'm writing in a different genre than usual but I feel like my style is still pretty consistent. But I could be wrong!

[michelleelizabethtanner]

"Maybe he could be just a feeling she might someday have, even if she didn’t quite know where from." damn this line hit me right in the heart

Excited for the next chapter! no idea what beth is gonna be like when she finds rio and the baby lying on her couch lol

Thank you for reading My Girl, Anon! And I’m so honored that you liked that line. 🥹🥰 Rio is so dramatic. I have to admit, that line felt so over the top to me. I fiddled with it a lot and almost removed it. I just wanted to show the dramatics of Rio’s hopelessness with his situation. Because he believed what Beth told him and he mourned that possibility. Nevermind that he had just as much control as she did to lay claim to this child. He didn’t see how he, himself, was choosing to give her up in that moment. Was choosing his own interests and money and power and his lifestyle over this baby he was claiming to want. It’s so much easier to have these big, dramatic feelings of like “oh, maybe someday if she hears a whisper of wind in the willows she’ll remember my tortured life,” than to do the hard thing and file for sole custody.

What’s hard for me about writing Rio’s POV is that he is in a very different kind of denial from Beth. It’s so much easier in Beth’s POV to heavy-handedly make it obvious how wrong Beth is about all her internal assumptions and how obviously Rio is in her corner. I’m finding this much more challenging writing from Rio’s internal monologue. He’s more honest than Beth (in some ways) about why he is the way he is, but he also doesn’t perform his feelings in an appropriate way. He does unhinged things to hurt her because she’s hurt him worse. And he doesn’t look into WHY she’s hurt him. He assumes it’s selfishness on her part, and doesn’t bother to consider even the basics of her circumstances.

Like, has he considered that maybe she also doesn’t want to give up her money or power or lifestyle to raise their baby? Maybe she also has struggled with this same level of mourning the impossible outcomes of their situation? And she’s had to be the one to carry this kid to term. The circumstances of the delivery, as we can see from this last chapter, were so dangerous and so traumatic. Did he consider how frightening her life had been for those 30+ weeks? How she’s had to ignore medical recommendations for her own health and safety to not lose her place in his world. And in the present-day timeline it’s like he doesn’t understand that she’s a single parent, freshly postpartum, after the trauma of that specific delivery. Just the physicality of everything she has to do everyday and how painful that alone is…

I’m actually really really really REALLY glad Rio is coming across as sympathetic! Because he’s an unreliable narrator to this story and I was worried it would be too obvious just how out of touch he is. But the fact that his internal monologue is making him seem sentimental and worthy of empathy means that the story is flowing juuuuuuust right. As the chapters progress, I’m so curious to see how his changing perspective comes across. I hope he continues to stay sympathetic and some of his resolution keeps him in character.

I mostly just appreciate you reading! Thank you for letting me go on and on like this. How indulgent. I really am so so glad and thankful and all the ✨positive feelings✨ that this line caught your attention and that you’re enjoying the story. Thank you for reading it. ❤️

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[loisroo]

random recs for july:

currently watching:

wwdits (season 4)

extraordinary attorney woo

watched:

mr unlucky has no choice but to kiss-

not a very long show, something lighter. the idea behind it is unique, that two people with opposite luck start to balance each other out. i didn’t particularly like the unlucky main character, he was shallow and manipulative and i know that was sort of the point to see his growth but even at the end I still didn’t really like him. Japanese shows have a habit of over-the-top internal monologues which are normally wonderful and funny but the unlucky lead just felt really obnoxious. was cute but won’t really watch again.

the uncanny counter-

so much funnier then i thought it would be!!! i value humor a lot and i really love to laugh so i enjoy many types of humor. the humor in this show was 100% why you could watch the whole thing and it not become too emotional (but I had to pace myself because lort it was still emotional). i cried and i laughed and raged and all the feelings and any media and writing that can make me feel that much is good in my book. i will still give a pace yourself warning.

I thought the effects would be more cgi because of the spirits and power aspect of the show but it was actually really well done. also the guy that played the main villain/evil spirit (ji cheong shin) was TOP fucking notch. i could watch him be a villain in every show in existence.

one of the few things I wish was different was showing more of the spirits from Yang’s interactions with each other and with their counters. (besides mama chu and her boy which was the fucking best and worst) sometimes you just felt really disconnected from them and i think that had been some of the point at first but then it made their more emotional interactions with each other and their counters come off very flat and fake.

the bear-

i wasn’t sure if i would but i enjoyed this show a lot. it deals with suicide and grief and doesn’t shy away from the ugly parts of it which i really applaud. it really felt like the lead was grieving, his choices driven by it and it making him impulsive and aggressive at times. they made him a complex character and where like ‘yeah he’s a jerk sometimes but he’s got the spirit’ and without romanticizing it too.

the characters feel real and i love the idea that we get to see very little outside of what exists at the restaurant. we rarely ‘go home’ with the characters besides the main lead so you only see them exist and interact with each other in this certain setting. it actually forces you to take everything at face value and with these characters that makes it a little wild. lol

also just my pet peeve: there is no way in hell all those kids drank xanax and all just fell asleep. i know that’s such a weird thing to focus on, it’s a work thing i guess but i made my husband pause the show so i could say that to him. he was like “okay then.“ but no really— if you are gonna do grief this well at least get psych meds right. lol

cherry blossoms after winter-

this is just cute. very much so a manhwa come alive. the writing was a little choppy in some areas and felt a little incomplete in some areas but i liked the chemistry between the leads. Some angst sprinkled in at the end was a nice touch and i liked the idea that they would need to be brave and believe in their love.

this isn’t super long and i used it as a filler show between my very heavy shows. i watched it before bed sometimes because it just has an overall good feel to it and the leads were actually super adorable so I found myself grinning stupidly at parts.

old fashion cupcake-

i really enjoyed this!! which seems to be a theme with japanese bl/lgbtq shows. they talked about gender in this and what society deems acceptable for men and women to do. i had been a little worried when they were talking about the aging process and ‘being a girl’ but then nozue decides himself that he doesn’t need to be a girl to enjoy these things and i was super happy they did that.

the confession scene was like the best thing my angsty heart has ever seen. and it was done in one shot for the most part, the chemistry and the feelings between the leads are subtle but true and it was really enjoyable. i found myself rewatching a few parts as soon as the show ended.

the story was told, it was told well, it made you feel, and then it ended. It felt very finished and i rarely feel that way about shows and stuff. it felt like a truly complete story and was very satisfying. i will watch this again.

heartstopper-

this was a good show and well written, had a decently diverse cast too. i’m really digging these shows coming out lately where the teens actually feel like teens.

the issues with self worth and the realities of coming out were portrayed honestly but there was a happy ending. which is important because historically many lgbtq stories end in tragedy or they end up making the characters into villains. this is one of those shows that just makes you feel good watching it.

this felt like a show made just for teens, there was some parental involvement but home lives weren’t really explored much, i think the only parent that talked for more then a few lines was tao’s and nick’s so it really was focused on the kids, school, and coming out. (i sort of expected a more love, victor vibe because coming out usually means to family as well but i like how they did it here. it made it feel more identity based and about self discovery)

jacksepticeye’s ‘stray’ let’s play-

(if I watch longer let’s plays I like to review them as well) i really liked this let’s play! jacksepticeye’s gaming style suits my brain really well and i’m 100% certain it’s because of the adhd. he’s not afraid to mess up or be goofy, he laughs at himself and makes similar jokes that i would make playing the game. i enjoy putting his let’s plays on when i’m doing laundry and tasks similar to that. plus then i know if i want the game and/or if my kid can play it too.

the video game looks really awesome and my eight year old could definitely play it. she loves cats and really broad pretty worlds. she might need some help in the later parts of the game or more strategic parts but she’s a fast learner, and playing it in day time just to make the darker areas less scary. this could also spark some conversations and has the potential to be used for mindfulness if done correctly.

also jacksepticeye acting like a cat and talking about cats is magnificent

still slowly watching because of adhd:

inspector koo

my name

sense8

taxi driver

[artificialqueens]

Something More (Taywhora) - pureCAMP

A/N - Hi Ortega, love you xx

Here’s a cheeky little girl band au in which A'Whora is sort of in love with her bandmate, Lawrence is sort of in love with her makeup artist, and Bimini has no idea what’s going on. Enjoy, bing bang bong <3

Death by a thousand cuts lingers on A’Whora’s mind. There seems to be a million ways to express how she’s feeling; the straw that broke the camel’s back, the final tipping point. The way that little things just build and build and build until their crushing weight is suddenly made noticeable to the poor fool trapped beneath them, already without any hope of survival.

Maybe she’s being dramatic, maybe poetic. Maybe that’s why she’s good at writing lyrics, why she scribbles them down in glittery notebooks that Lawrence makes fun of her for buying. They can hardly use what she writes in her free time, the need for fun, relatable and light-hearted lyrics far outweighing the demand for her emotional ramblings, but nevertheless she’s still alright at it.

More than anything, it’s the numbness that bothers her. This pain isn’t jarring, soul destroying, artistically tragic like she wishes it was. She mostly feels an ever-present nothing, with the occasional empty hole like a vacuum in her stomach that weighs on her late at night, alone in bed. The feeling is heavy and cold, but she can’t describe it any better than that. She’s tried, and the scrunched up paper and furiously crossed out words provide more than enough explanation as to how that endeavour went.

Is she ridiculous to be angry over wanting a little communication, knowing she herself hasn’t done it either? Is she hypocritical for internally begging Tayce to explain when she knows full well she’s not explained her side?

Whatever the answer, she’s an idiot for hooking up with her bandmate.

Sighing frustratedly, she throws her pencil across the room, likely to never be seen again, and shuts her notebook. The pencil flies through the air and hits the wall just as Lawrence enters, missing her head by mere centimetres. She reels backwards out of shock and then clings onto the doorframe, one hand on her heaving chest.

“Fuck me! You trying to kill me or something?” Lawrence demands, her expressions every bit as big and blown up as they are on stage.

A’Whora flops onto her bed as Lawrence sits on hers - they’re sharing the hotel room, Tayce and Bimini paired up across the hall.

“Not you, babes.” She rolls her eyes at herself, stretching her legs out as her head crashes into the pillow.

Lawrence snorts. “Trouble in paradise?”

“It’s far from fucking paradise and you know it, you nasty bitch.” A’Whora shoots back, relieved that neither of them are stupid enough to interpret any malice in the harsh way they speak to one another.

Truth be told, A’Whora and Tayce’s hooking up is probably the worst kept secret in all their band management. Tayce seems to think nobody knows, and she’s all the happier for it, but A’Whora knows for a fact that Lawrence, the entire style team and their management all know what’s going on - it’s really only Bimini, bless her, who’s in the dark about it. The second worst kept secret is Lawrence and their makeup artist, Ellie, but that’s the farthest from A’Whora’s mind currently.

“It used to be fun, you know what I mean, like? Like it’s just me and Tayce and we’re having a good time and everything, there’s no pressure for dating or nothing like that, ‘cause she weren’t ready for it.”

Lawrence blinks. “Am I supposed to be sensing a problem here, or?”

A’Whora groans. “Shut up, bitch, I’m trying to do a fucking monologue for you! Anyway, it’s just weird because I swear like I haven’t done anything and nothing’s changed at all but her texts are really friendly rather than like flirty now?”

“And you haven’t sent me off to Ellie’s room in a while so the two of you can fuck like rabbits.” Lawrence finishes, a sly grin on her face knowing that she’s just pissed A’Whora right off by interrupting the aforementioned monologue.

Crude as she is, she’s right - and A’Whora probably would’ve worded it in a way more disgusting manner herself. It’s a decent system that they’ve rigged up, honestly. Whenever Tayce texts, or A’Whora texts her, she sends Lawrence off to go find Ellie, makes up some lie about why their bandmate isn’t sleeping in their room tonight, and then they can spend some quality time together. It’s simple but efficient, hence its brilliance.

“Sorry babes. You know you can still go see her even if I’m not seeing Tayce?”

Lawrence snorts. “Nah, you’re fine. To be honest she’s fucked me right off recently so I’m not in the mood to see her.”

It’s horrible, but A’Whora’s secretly glad that she’s not the only one entangled in some kind of romantic or sexual turmoil. “Aw, what did she do?”

“None of your business, you nosy bitch!” Lawrence half-yells, but bizarrely, she’s still not mad. “You were ranting about your secret lover?”

“Fuck off,” She shoots back, “I was done, anyway. She’s just, like, reset. I don’t get it.”

She’s not strong enough to confide what she really thinks. It clouds her mind constantly, a small part of her brain daring her to just come out and say it in the malicious hope that she’ll find out how it feels to broadcast. Her stupid, selfish brain is worried that Tayce has met someone, someone she likes, someone she’d be willing to, or interested in, pursuing a romantic relationship with. Because romance has never been part of their deal, something they’d agreed on. Romance was off the table for Tayce because she wasn’t ready, and A’Whora was fine with that.

Maybe she was in the wrong for going along with the hook ups and flirting under false pretences. A’Whora had hoped, secretly, that over time, Tayce’s aversion to love and commitment might begin to soften, and surely the most natural, safe way to ease into it would be with someone who she already knew could have a fun flirty rapport with her, not to mention a metric fuckton of sexual chemistry?

Behind every flirty text held the secret hope that Tayce’s feelings would one day find the strength to break out. A’Whora hadn’t meant to get attached to her bandmate like she had, but there seemed to be fuck all she could do about it now.

“Well,” Lawrence announces, rolling onto her back and gesturing up in the air with her arms, “You’re fucked off, I’m fucked off, I say we go and get absolutely steamin’ and forget that we’ve ever felt a positive emotion towards someone who doesn’t give a fuck.”

A’Whora closes her eyes, heart sinking. “I’d actually love to, but we can’t just go the two of us, because then we’re leaving out the others. Bims’ll wanna come, and if Bims comes we have to invite Tayce and I literally don’t wanna see her because it’s so weird that I’ve been like, demoted to friend.”

“She removed the benefits,” Lawrence nods understandingly, “In many ways, we could compare her to the Tory government.”

“Could we fuck,” A’Whora laughs in spite of her own heavy misery. “You’re literally insane. Loz, what the fuck do I do about this?”

Lawrence shrugs. “I told you, my best solution is to go and get smashed! If we just drink here then we didn’t go out without anyone so we didn’t break any friend rules and they’re none the fucking wiser to our collective romance issues.”

The word romance makes A’Whora tense - it’s uncomfortable to think about it like that, almost embarrassing to dwell on her own feelings as having a romantic nature about them from a purely sexual relationship. Luckily for her, a sneaky or perhaps Freudian slip catches her attention and drags it away from her own issue, A’Whora bolting upright to stare at her friend.

“Lawrence Chaney. Did you just say collective romance issues? I thought you and Ellie were just fanny friends!”

Understandably, Lawrence is horrified at her turn of phrase, but A’Whora doesn’t miss the telltale reddening of her ears that suggests she’s said something she shouldn’t have. An eye-roll powerful enough to induce a tsunami follows Lawrence shifting herself up, glaring at A’Whora, and then scowling.

“First,” She replies, one finger wagging in front of her, “Never fucking say fanny friends ever again. Second…”

A’Whora gasps, already anticipating some gossip.

“You’re gonna get me a fucking gin if you’re gonna make me talk about this.”

-

More intelligent girls, or perhaps just less heartache-y ones, would know better than to get wasted in their hotel room the night before a show, but A’Whora and Lawrenced have never been the best at smart decisions. Ironically, it’s the deceptively smart bimbo Bimini who usually is able to reign them in, though she often chooses not to. Left to their own devices, there’s a lot of gin and a little bit of lemonade that seems to mysteriously disappear as tongues get looser and inhibitions get lowered. Before they even know what’s happening, both girls are sitting on the floor between their beds, legs stretched out before them, bemoaning their woeful, humiliating love lives.

It’s almost as if they think that if they don’t get it right now, they never will. To some extent, in A’Whora’s mind, that’s true, even when she knows, realistically, that she’s only in her mid-twenties and life goes on. But really, what is love if not an agony freezing you in time, a force that makes the past a mere blur and the future non-existent? Love is present and now, and if she misses her chance, who says there’ll be another?

(Almost everyone says there will. But A’Whora is drunk and her words are happy and her mind is sad.)

Luckily, Lawrence has been talking for long enough that A’Whora doesn’t have to spill all her thoughts into a drunken spiel that she knows wouldn’t make a lick of sense. She keeps swearing and avoiding the point, but somewhere in her long-winded ramble confessions start to unravel themselves, and a good scandal is enough to distract her for the time being.

“So I fuckin’ - aw fuck, hen, do me a favour and refill me?” Lawrence asks, A’Whora just passing her the bottle and gesturing for her to continue. “I fuckin’ asked her, y’know, are we just doing this or are we something more, like, fuckin’ stupid thing to ask honestly and I regretted it as soon as I did but then she answered and fuck me.”

She makes an effort to impersonate Ellie - a slightly higher pitched, slightly less intensely Scottish accent with something of a mockingly nervous whine to it as she repeats, “I’m keeping my options open. Fuckin’ options! I’ve no’ had anyone since her and I wouldny’ fuckin’ want to either and she’s fuckin’ got A, B, C or D all the fuckin’ above! It’s fucked.”

A’Whora gasps. “Bitch, you proper like her! You like Ellie!”

“Say that any louder and I’ll box your fuckin’ ears,” Lawrence threatens, only half kidding judging by the glare in her eyes. “Am I wrong to feel fuckin’ betrayed that I didn’t know she was seeing others as well as me?”

She snorts. “Loz, babes, I’m losing my mind at the very idea that Tayce has found someone, look who you’re talking to.”

Lawrence shrugs in agreement. “Makes me feel sick.”

There’s a pause. “Actually, that might be the gin.”

Another pause. “Oh, it’s the gin.”

She all but launches herself up and towards the bathroom, A’Whora instantly going into a flap. If Lawrence is sick on the carpet she’ll literally never forgive her, but she needs to help her friend, but fuck if she’s gonna stand there in the bathroom gagging at her. She decides, vaguely last minute, to run out into the corridor and grab some cold water from the machine, panicking and shouting her plan in the general direction of the bathroom before dashing outside. Embarrassing, but at twenty five years old A’Whora still can’t handle someone being sick.

A brief but unwelcome thought flits into her head - I’d help Tayce. She shakes it away, tells herself she wouldn’t, but a sad stupid part of her knows she could sit there and painfully gag her way through helping Tayce if she needed to, because she’s a spineless idiot who fell for her bandmate. There’s a flash of guilt for the fact that she wouldn’t do the same for Bims or Lawrence, but reasons that she has to draw the line somewhere.

The hotel has this awful chintzy carpet, a weird swirly print on a red base that reminds A’Whora of weird-smelling care homes and outdated grandma’s houses. Just looking at it makes her head spin uncomfortably - maybe she’s a little drunker than she thought. Perhaps she’ll get two cups of ice water instead, sober herself up a bit and all.

Then Tayce is standing in front of her all of a sudden and A’Whora has no idea how she’s got there.

(Did she… summon Tayce? Manifest her presence?)

“Girl, you alright? You look a state,” She greets, her accent charming enough to rid the words of their potential offense.

A’Whora vaguely points ahead of her, aware of how dumb she probably looks. “Goin… getting water for Loz. She’s absolutely pissed.”

Tayce laughs, baffled. “Babes, what are you playing at getting drunk the night before a show? Gotta make sure you shake off the hangovers before or else you’re done for!”

“Water fixes all.” A’Whora has no idea what to say. Why would she? She’s been lamenting this girl’s very existence for the past…. God knows how many hours, and now she’s here and she has to slip the besties facade back on except she’s a bit too drunk to remember how to do it properly. Sober A’Whora is going to cringe for days over this, she already knows.

Unsurprisingly, Tayce starts to follow her to grab the water, declaring “Well I’m coming with you, sounds like you’re gonna need someone sober to put you both in bed, you absolute lunatics.”

They’re just walking next to each other and yet A’Whora has never analysed her own way of walking so much in her life before this moment. Are her steps too large? Her arms swinging too much, or too little? Which foot comes next? Is Tayce thinking about how weirdly she’s moving? Should she be trying to keep pace with her or will that be even weirder and she’ll realise what a creep she’s been hooking up with all this time and fully decide against any possibility of something more between them?

They’re just walking. Just one foot and then the next.

Ahead of them, the water cooler glistens like a mirage in a desert, a tantalising goal signalling the end of their journey. A’Whora almost feels like she’s been trekking for hours next to Tayce, unsure of what to say, unsure of what her own act to keep up with is.

Naturally, she fumbles in her attempt to get a flimsy plastic cup from the stack, and then all come crashing down before she can even realise what’s happening. She turns to look at Tayce, the both of them momentarily stunned.

“Oh my god, you absolute beast!” Tayce screeches, her voice hushed for the sake of the late night but laughing all the same, clutching the cooler for balance. “We gotta pick all these up now!”

They do; A’Whora thinks about accidentally brushing her fingers over Tayce’s as they scramble to get everything, and then doesn’t. She thinks about abandoning the water and fumbling keys into locks until they fall into one another and forget everything else. She thinks about just blurting out the truth.

By the time all of the potential scenarios have flown dizzyingly through A’Whora’s drunk mind, she finds herself with two cups of water in her hands, Tayce with the same, leading her back to the hotel room and giggling as she instructs her not to spill a drop. A’Whora laughs, pretending like she’s not struggling to figure out how tightly she should be holding them.

Pretend is easy and she’s always been good at it. Pretending she’s a real rockstar with her Sing Star microphone and Playstation 2 in the living room. Pretending she’s not nervous the day before the biggest audition of her life. Pretending she’s a real musician in a band and not one of four girls shitting themselves backstage at the biggest arenas in the city. Pretending like Tayce might fall for her one day.

Once they get inside - it takes four swipes of A’Whora’s key and brief panic that she’s somehow got the wrong one - it’s clear that Lawrence is done with throwing her guts up and has settled herself in a chair, furiously typing on her phone.

“This room smells like a minibar, you hounds!” Tayce half admonishes, her grin entirely downplaying her words and making A’Whora’s heartbeat jump into overdrive. “Lawrence, what are you doing?”

“Communicating-my-feelings,” She answers through gritted teeth, each word punctuated with a particularly aggressive stab at her screen.

Out of curiosity, A’Whora peeks at the screen, and upon seeing a horrifically large wall of text typed out in the chat box with no end in sight, snatches the phone immediately. “Tayce! Hide it! She’s writing a fucking essay!”

Whether A’Whora’s drunk coordination is better than when she’s sober - hopefully not - or Tayce is just talented, she deftly catches the device and locks it.

Lawrence all but springs up, incensed. “Fuck off with that! Ellie needs to know- I’m fucking pissed!”

“Ellie?” Tayce pauses, looking down as if she’ll still see the message. “As in, makeup artist Ellie?”

“Who fuckin’ else?!” Lawrence lunges and misses.

“Knew it.” She’s adorably smug, so much so that A’Whora decides against telling her that literally everyone knows. Her perceived victory makes her face light up and she’s already so beautiful that ruining childlike glee like that should be considered blasphemous. It would be a sin to wipe that smile from her face using anything other than her lips.

She holds the phone up in the air above her head, unreachable. “Right. Well, Lawrence, you can have this back after you’ve drank this water here, brushed your teeth and got into bed, okay? I think that’s a fair deal.”

“Get fucked,” Lawrence responds, totally deadpan as she snatches the plastic cup, spilling half of it down her front and not noticing. “I will drink your magic water and then you will fuck off and I will tell Ellie that she’s a slimey wee bitch.”

Tayce laughs, unfazed. “On second thoughts, darling…” She tucks the phone into her bra and gives a little flourish. “Sort yourself out and I’ll get it back to you in the morning. I’m not having you abusing our lovely Ellie ‘cause you’ve had a lover’s tiff.”

Lawrence squints. “Fuckin’… A’Whora will get it for me. I’m sure you won’t mind feeling her up, eh hen? Though I bet your girlfriend might have something to say about it. OOP!”

A’Whora feels her face flushing, and the panic slams into her like a wave hitting the beach full force, washing over everything. At first she was glad Lawrence was drunker than her, hoping to make less of a fool of herself in front of Tayce and direct the attention onto their favourite Scottish menace, but Lawrence being drunker means Lawrence with an even looser tongue, and for someone who loves to crack a joke and make a cheeky observation at the most inopportune moment, A’Whora finds herself wishing she’s passed out snoring instead. Tayce just laughs and manages to mother hen her into the bathroom, where A’Whora spots her in the mirror, grumpily brushing her teeth like a petulant toddler in the midst of a tantrum.

“Tell you what, I could never have kids, this is bloody exhausting!” Tayce explains, her big bright smile distracting A’Whora, thankfully, from the bulge of Lawrence’s phone. At least, it’s easier to pretend, even mentally, that that’s why she keeps looking at her chest.

“God, I know!” She laughs back, faking it harder than ever and sipping her cup of water. She feels sobered up already, though she’s sure she’s probably not, all too aware of her red cheeks and Lawrence’s loose tongue and terrified something else will be said.

“I mean, what on earth was that? I don’t have a girlfriend, I can tell you that.” She chuckles as if the idea’s ridiculous. A’Whora wonders if she genuinely thinks that, if she doesn’t realise just how many beautiful men and women would fall down at her feet if she so much as paid them a glance.

Lawrence stumbles out; in the two minutes she’s been gone, she seems to have forgotten entirely about her phone, and she looks at the pair with lidded eyes. “Fuckin’ shattered, girls.”

Tayce beams at her. “Get your arse in bed, then!”

A’Whora finishes her water, and Lawrence is asleep in seconds. For good measure, they poke her a couple of times, but since she’s very clearly breathing and seems fine, they decide to stop tormenting her and to just let the poor girl sleep. Tayce sets down Lawrence’s phone on the nightstand next to her, making sure to plug in her charger so it won’t be dead when she wakes up, and the tiny act of thoughtfulness makes A’Whora’s heart swell in a manner she’s wholly embarrassed of.

As if she’s swooning at a girl charging her friend’s phone? It’s ridiculous and she knows it.

“Shall I walk you to your door?” She offers, holding her arm out. Tayce laughs and takes hold of her elbow, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Ooh, promenade!”

“You’ve been watching far too much Bridgerton, you have,” A’Whora teases her, jabbing her side as they make their way back down the empty corridor. “Do I have to start calling you My Lady or something, babes?”

Tayce swats her away. “In bed, maybe. Oh, I’ll happily be a Duke or a Duchess, I mean have you seen the pair of them? Bloody gorgeous!”

A’Whora’s chest seizes up at the casual mention of being in bed together. Is the stalemate over? Is Tayce about to explain why she’s suddenly frozen on her and decided she no longer wants to hook up? What the hell even is the reason if there’s no girlfriend? She’s just gone off A’Whora now?

“Oh my God. Tayce, I can’t do this.”

It’s out there. She can’t go back now, can’t reel it back in. She’s fucked.

Tayce stops mid-hallway and frowns, worried. “You alright? If you don’t feel well you can go back, you don’t have to walk me to my room.”

“No, not that,” A’Whora massages her temples, trying to encourage some kind of eloquent thought to help her out, trying to stimulate the part of her brain that writes lyrics, to no avail. “This, us, the weirdness, I can’t do it. I have to know what’s going on, I’m literally going spare over it.”

“I don’t- I don’t get what you mean.”

“Us!” A’Whora cries, then shushes herself, acutely aware of her volume and the people sleeping adjacent to their conversation. “You- you don’t text me the same, and we haven’t- in ages, and I just… Tayce, do you like me?”

Tayce frowns even deeper. “Of course I like you, Rory.”

“Do you proper like me? Do you like me like I like you?”

She feels like a child, enacting a schoolgirl crush with a scribbled note that asks them to tick a yes or no box drawn in pink felt tip, the kind fuzzy from little fingers pressing too hard. If anything, it’s worse than that; at least some prior planning went into those, and a clear question with a yes or no response indicating some kind of confidence. A’Whora has no idea what she’s doing, where she’s going, anything.

“Rory�� do you-”

A’Whora cuts her off. “Lawrence thought you might have a girlfriend because I thought you might have one because I was ranting about us to her and how shit I feel that you’ve lost interest in me. We got drunk to ignore how shit we both feel and it didn’t work because she almost blabbed to Ells and now I’m here blabbing to you but I literally can’t help myself. I never can when I’m with you.”

It’s only when she’s finished that she realises Tayce’s expression is full of fear, and her heart sinks like a lead balloon.

“You told Lawrence about us?”

She swallows, guilt seeping in like cracks in a dam. “Tayce, I… We’re not the big secret you think we are. A lot of people know, or suspect. Is… Is that the issue?”

Tayce chews her lip, eyebrows furrowed. Every millisecond that she doesn’t speak is agony, each second another stab to A’Whora’s heart, tiny needles of time cutting into her as she waits and waits for the ugly truth. This is it, now, the swirling nausea in her stomach tells her, this is when it all ends. This is where you scare off the love of your life.

The… what? The fucking what? The who of her what?

Too late now.

“I haven’t lost interest in you. I don’t think that’s even possible. I’m like, obsessed with you.”

A’Whora freezes, expecting virtually anything but that. “You- what? But- huh?”

“Yeah!” Tayce laughs nervously, unsure of how to react - they have that in common, at least. “I mean, girl, look at you, you’re gorgeous. I was getting freaked out by how much I, like, feel, so I just shut everything down and denied it all. I mean, I figured if I was freaking myself out, you must think I’m a right old weirdo. Have I got this all wrong?”

The ice melts. A’Whora can feel the shards shrinking, the wounds closing up, the warmth returning to her in a blossoming not unlike the flowers of spring, freshening the air and sweeping away her anxieties.

“I’ve never been so happy to call you an idiot in my life,” A’Whora tells her.

Tayce cocks an eyebrow. “You dirty liar, you love calling me an idiot,” She bites back, not leaving room for A’Whora to reply before kissing her right then and there, in the middle of a hotel corridor, leaning up against the wall for support. A million chemical reactions spark off all at once, a frenzy of activity rendering her incapable of doing anything but wrapping her arms around her bandmate, her best friend, her everything, and kissing her until she can’t breathe.

When they have to come up for air they do, all gasping and pink cheeks and dazed eyes. Every cell, every nerve, every neuron in A’Whora’s body is awake and alive, drawn towards Tayce like a magnetic pull. She can’t ignore it, and can’t think why she’d ever want to.

-

“Will you fucking stay still?”

“I haven’t moved an inch, hen, your shaky hands are not my problem.”

Ellie huffs, big pink earrings dangling from her ears swinging as she moves her head. They’re shaped like hearts, the word ‘doll’ in cursive across the middle in sparkling letters, and it’s adorably Ellie Diamond in every way possible. Even irritated, she’s oddly cute.

“Lawrence! I’m not trying to make you look ugly, stay still for me!” She pleads.

A’Whora watches from her chair, face already expertly done. She woke up pleasantly early, nestled happily in Tayce’s arms after everything. They’d decided to go back to A’Whora’s room, just in case Lawrence woke up and tried to send reams of abuse to Ellie, and ended up laying together cuddling until they fell asleep. No matter how sober A’Whora swore she was, Tayce just giggled and told her there was no chance of anything more than a cwtch, at least until the morning.

Thankfully, they’d kept Lawrence’s phone away from her, but there was nothing she could do but watch helplessly as Ellie and Lawrence engaged in a battle of attrition while doing makeup.

Lawrence rolls her eyes so hard A’Whora can practically feel it from across the room. “Not to worry hen, there’s more than one girl in the band, I’m sure you’ve got options on who can look pretty and who can’t.”

A’Whora winces at the low blow, and judging by Ellie’s expression, all pouty lips and big sad eyes, she’s hurt. More than anything, she wants to rush in and fix things for them, help them do the big talk and work it all out, but she knows it’s not really her business. They have to do this for themselves, so she sits quiet and prays that they will.

“Oh my god.” Ellie sets down her brushes and stares Lawrence in the face, awfully bold and completely unexpected. “Are you gonna hang this over me forever? I just - didn’t want you to think I was too forward! I’ve been regretting it all night, I regretted it as soon as I even said it! I can’t stand you being upset with me.”

Lawrence’s expression softens. “What?”

“You’re, like, the best person ever. I look up to you so much, I don’t think I could admire anyone more than I admire you. I really didn’t mean to upset you, I didn’t want to come on too strong.”

There’s a pause - A’Whora holds her breath, and notices that just across from her, Bimini is suddenly paying attention, her phone long since abandoned in her hand as she gapes at the two of them, dumbfounded.

Lawrence throws her arms around Ellie, squeezing her in an embrace that seems too tender to be looking at, the next best thing to a kiss when in the middle of painting someone’s face. Ellie squeezes back, her lips mouthing words that the other girls can neither hear nor try to. This is for them and them alone.

Tayce enters just as they break apart, throwing herself into the seat next to A’Whora and grinning. “Hiya, gorge, what’d I miss?”

She leans over and kisses A’Whora’s cheek.

Bimini’s eyes pop open. “You and- and then her and- what the fuck? Babes, I think we skipped a few chapters!”

“You just haven’t read the book,” A’Whora winks at her.

“Right, right,” Bims nods understandingly, ever one to just go with the flow. “And is the big lesbian orgy before the concert or after?”

[mego42]

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie​’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them. 

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study 

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers​

another grief study! 

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch 

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!! 

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!! 

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire​

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee​

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless​

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues​

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E  A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks​

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux 

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur​

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety 

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87​

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy 

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87​

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio? 

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is? 

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d 

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian​

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania​​

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy 

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

[fancyfade]

Well I got super impatient and decided to post a day early. If you do click on and read CW: Child abuse. The tone isn’t like depressing the whole way through, I’m not interested in pointless grief, but it starts pretty heavy

For the preview have this bit I am glad I got an excuse to use finally (wrote it before this fanfic had to find a place to work it in I think it works really well here)

Father and all his people always found the most stifling, condescending, worst possible way to think about Damian. They wanted to protect him, but only half the time – only if they could imagine him as a sad, tiny child, helpless and afraid. They didn't know what to do with the other half – they didn't know what to do with him when he was fighting or behaving unacceptably or being always too too much. They couldn't decide whether they see him as a victim or a villain, and while neither would be ideal, he'd prefer the latter. A villain has power and agency, and he can't help but thinking of a victim as someone who's been stripped of both.

keep reading

Writing decisions (These will be LONG AS FUCK)

So there are two major moments from the 2009 B&R run I wanted in my fic at least that happen in the same plotline. I'm breaking it into two moments in different plotlines for the below reasons:

The first moment is when Damian both explicitly rejects Talia's offer to go back to being an assassin and chooses to stay being Robin

and then after the dumb slade part of that plot, there's the second moment, where he asks Talia to love him as he is, not as she wants him to be.

I feel the important things here are Damian explicitly rejecting being a supervillain and then Damian wishing he could be treated different by one of his parents (his primary caregiver up until he was 10 years old here in my verse, but in new earth canon she did not meet him until he was 9). Since Morrison, obviously Talia was the one Damian would both reject for supervillainry and ask for parental approval of, but I'm obviously having Ra's represent the more supervillainy side of things here.

This is also important why Damian knows that the letter was a lie before this plot could happen, because when he rejects Ra's he's doing it 100 percent with the knowledge that his dad didn't want him (from his POV) and he doesn't have another patriarchal figure of approval. He's just rejecting Ra's because Ra's is cruel to him and wrong, not because he has a better option waiting.

The other important moment in canon (Damian expressing dissatisfaction with how he is treated by Talia) will obviously have to change significantly in my fic but I do want him to have some type of interaction with her where he explains how he wants ot be treated

For canon basis of Damian and Ra's' interactions:

We have pretty scant Damian and Ra's interactions in canon mostly what I can think of are sort of Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul, the flashbacks in Teen Titans Rebirth (first six issues), and the weird Shadow/Batman comic.

The consistent theme seems to be that Damian exists for Ra's, not as a person. In RRAG Ra's refers to Damian as “it” and is surprised/offended that he does not immediately acquiesce to being a backup body, in Teen Titan's flashbacks Damian's oath is “I am yours” - that he belongs to his grandfather – and ra's calls him the greatest weapon in his arsenal or smthing, and in shadow/batman ra's continuously tries to impress upon damian that damian only exists because ra's allows him to/ at ra's' mercy.

(Yes the “ You're recalcitrant. Emotional.” dialogue is straight from Batman Bad Blood Talia, but when Talia is being villain balled she often comes across as woman-scorned version of Ra's so I don't feel bad stealing it and giving him that dialogue)

Anyway so needless to say its toxic as hell.

Ra's is also portrayed as generally using his family for his own means/ being very controlling/possessive – like in Batman Chronicles #8 he thinks (in his internal monologue) that he will never allow Talia to be free and that he needs her especially to continue his lineage and not be alone. He also kidnaps her when she leaves him in the early 2ks plot after tower of babel.

Miscellaneous decisions not based on those interactions:

the guard was based off of the dude who Ravi called the hand of ra's in robin: son of batman. I assumed they might have slightly different dynamics with Tali and Damian than the other leaguers because they call Talia by her first name, which seemed to not be what the other leaguers did. I'll be real they don't flesh out the league members who don't have names a ton, I had to do a lot of guessing.

I feel like even though Damian's upbringing in the League of Shadows was abusive as hell, he'd still miss where he grew up, especially the parts that were just like... day to day stuff and not fighting (Granted he still did obviously miss some of the way they did fighting interactions too).

I actually googled some geography to try to describe the place the Cradle was in because in the comics I don't think they gave us a location (besides that the last city they were at was Baghdad) and then the scenery did not give us much detail. I wanted to be able to describe the scenery a bit and not just say “um, it looked like a desert” (it looked... vaguely deserty in the comics?) especially since it would be significant to Damian. And I didn't want to just go with whatever preconceived notions I had.

I had Ra's make the fetus that may eventually become heretic here because I feel like if we're going with the RRAG backup body theme that might be a reasonable justification for Ra's cloning him (it was so unclear what Talia's motives for making Heretic were in the comic)

anyway SUPER Long but i'm really proud of this scene and Damian's confrontation with Ra's so I hope you all enjoyed it

[suibianscenarios]

Duty Calls!

Pairing: Lan Yuan x Wei Wuxian ft. Lan Wanji, Lan Xichen

Description: Parenting may be tough but being Wangxian's son comes with its own set of challenges.

Genre: Fluff!! Parents AU, Modern AU, liquor baron LWJ, music store owner WWX, drabble inspired by this post by @wuxianphobic​ !

Warnings: Themes of ADHD, probably indicative of anxiety, hOmEwOrK!

A/N: Hello, hello! I am a writer in the kpop fandom, this is my first time writing for MDZS / CQL. I hope you all enjoy this piece and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it :))) Come say hi?

Word Count: ~ 900   

Wei Wuxian scraped his shoulder length hair up in a messy bun with a red hair tie, rubbed away the ennui from his eyes, and rested his head on his hand, lips protruding in a pout. His seven year old shook his arm and murmured in a tremulous voice, "Baba, thirteen times seven?"

At this point, Yuan’s anxiousness was inversely proportional to his father’s patience and his father’s patience was wearing thin. The homework Yuan had been assigned with was straightforward - writing down multiplication tables from eleven to twenty but Wei Wuxian was just...not interested. He'd had a rough day at Chenqing - a sixteen year old walked in with his uncle and plugged in a huge mesa boogie stack and started playing some death metal riffs on full blast, driving other potential customers away. When Wei Wuxian asked him to turn it off, he stomped out of the store with his uncle following closely behind, both of them muttering something along the lines of bad customer service. 

"Baba?" Yuan whispered, snapping Wei Wuxian out of his reverie.

He let out a deep sigh and nodded, "A-Yuan, A-Yuan, A-Yuan! Look at the time! Let's fix you up some noodles."

"But - "

"Carrot soup, too? Okay! And Baba bought us a freshly baked loaf of carrot cake last evening. We can have that for dessert with some ice cream!" Wei Wuxian clapped his hands, an excited grin lighting up his features. He ruffled his son's unruly hair and marched into the kitchen.

Fragile fingers held up his heavy head as Little Yuan glanced at the clock and found that it was at least an hour until dinner time. He'd learnt to read time way before his peers. Actually, he'd learnt to do a lot of things long before them, courtesy of his overachieving fathers, one of whom suddenly seemed to be lacking in the discipline of mathematics.

***

Wei Wuxian’s devious plot was to distract his son with a hearty dinner and his favourite movie playing on TV until he fell soundly asleep. What’s a punishment or two, he thought, kids these days are too sheltered, anyway...this should help build his character and toughen him up... and, according to Yuan’s dear father, a punishment was something that always made for an interesting story worthy of attention.

Pfft, Wei Wuxian continued his internal monologue, besides, writing these tables twice or thrice over is probably the worst punishment A-Yuan will get. He was well prepared to save his son’s bacon another day but today was simply not the day.

“Baba,” little Yuan wiped his mouth clean, pushed the two now empty bowls of less than palatable noodles away, and huddled closer to his father whose attention was entirely fixed on Elsa crooning ‘Let It Go’, “noodles finish. Can we -”

His father let out a deep sigh and exclaimed, “A-Yuan, shhh!”, pulling him into the cage of his arms. “Looks like the seeds have sprouted!” Wei Wuxian whispered teasingly, poking the side of his son’s jutted out belly, reminding him of the watermelon seeds he mistakenly swallowed last evening.

Another thing to take care of, a dejected Yuan mused.

He struggled with his father’s controlling embrace and floundered out of the couch, and waddled to where his workbook lay with his father’s keen eyes on his back all along. He placed the book in Wei Wuxian’s lap, pleading eyes boring into his, he asked, “Thir..thirteen times seven?” 

Wei Wuxian slammed the workbook shut and ruffled his son’s hair, lips stretched into a deliberate smile, “Aren’t we forgetting something, Turnip?” 

***

Dessert made up for the disaster that was dinner and albeit briefly, it did help uplift Yuan’s mood.

“Baba -” He grinned, smacking his lips.

Wei Wuxian’s rationalizations and deflections seemed to have weighed heavy on his eyelids. In the face of his son’s trepidation, the father had slipped into the sweet state of unconsciousness...

A-Yuan's face fell.

.

.

.

'Wei Ying -'

'You worry too much, Lan Zhan! A-Yuan and I will manage perfectly well without you for a day. What do you take us for!'

'I might -'

'- not be able to make a single call, I know, I know. Now go do your businessman things.'

His father had important things to take care of at the office today, of that Yuan was aware but the last thing he ever wanted was to be branded with the likes of Jingyi!

With indecisive fingers, he unlocked Wei Wuxian’s phone and an overjoyed Yuan grinned at the one who wore a frown.

The inconspicuous corner of Lan Wangji’s eye landed on his lit up phone.

“Go ahead, Wangji, it must be A-Yuan,” said Xichen, swallowing the yawn that rose in the back of his throat.

Lan Wangji almost flew out of his chair and excused himself out of the Board Room. The takeover of Moling’s Sparkling Water could wait for the Executive Director of Emperor’s Smile but never his son’s phone call.

“Baba,” his son’s voice smoothed the lines on his forehead and suffused a twinkle in his dry, fatigued eyes.

“Mn-”

“I need your help with -”

“- math homework?”

“Yes.”

“Turn Wei Ying’s laptop on. Can you connect with me on Skype?”

“Yes, Baba.”

[readingaccountability]

snow crash - neal stephenson

my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)

final thoughts:

okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.

the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.

one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.

however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.

the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.

y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,

i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)

please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.

i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!

honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.

the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.

and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.

i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)

ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.

howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.

the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.

[thoughtfulfangirling]

January 2021 Books

I tend not to come to dislike or hating things very easily. Generally, the things I try, I can find a lot I like in them and go with the flow. I feel like it doesn’t make me very good about recommending things because I’m not too picky once I get invested in things, but here are my takes on the books I’ve read this month. (I can be super picky about what I pick up in the first place, but once I overcome that and get a foothold in something, the above applies.)

Anyway, belatedly, here’s last months reads and blurbs on my thoughts under the cut (long)

1. A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas

I somehow didn’t realize this was YA. It has the plot simplicity I’m used to seeing in YA but it definitely got darker and more sexual than I would have expected for the genre. I actually rather appreciate this series for that reason. It did some things alternatively I didn't expect and was quite delighted by it. Fantasy, romance (f/m), fairies, light political intrigue (setup for book 2), etc.. I have since read book 2 and would have caveats about this depending on who was interested.

2. This is How you Lose a Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone

This was amazing! A quick read of poetic language and dark love across sci fi warring factions. Primarily told through a series of letters exchanged back and forth between protagonists and focused on the characters.

3. Sparrow Hill Road by Seanan McGuire

What a great ghost story! it's told a lot like a series of short stories that come together into a winding narrative of a ghost's journey through the roads of America. Heavily American mythology vibes. Fascinating world building, intriguing characters, and beautiful message and arc. I'm thinking I might pick up more from this series in October. I got pointed in this book's direction due to how the way the book is structure feeling like a great depiction of trauma and how things get segmented and out of order and intangible, and it was just a really neat book. Would definitely recommend.

4. No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder

I’ve now read a fair amount on the topic of domestic abuse, but they have largely focused on the individuals involved, and while this book does pick particular individuals as an example of extreme DV, this book zoomed out and looked at this problem from a broader perspective, talking about stats and looking at environmental and systemic factors. It’s a dark book that gets heavy and dissects sensitive situations but didn’t feel like it failed to humanize the issue, sometimes more so than a reader may expect. I definitely found it an insightful and interesting read. It’s the first book in quite a long time that was a physical book I held in my hands. I expected I might struggle too much between it not being audio and being nonfiction, but I moved through it quite quickly.

5. Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins

This was a re-read. It’s a cute little wlw class romance. I think I read it in 2018, and it was fun to revisit. It’s a quick read with some enjoyable characters, and for those who do audiobooks, some cute accents. 

6. The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett

This was a beautiful story about grief and the way our connections open us up to new possibilities and changes in our lives if only we’ll reach out grasp them. It’s a slow paced story, functioning mostly in the internal monologue of our protagonist dealing with the loss of the man she’s loved and the things she comes to find out she didn’t know about him. 

7. Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

This was another reread, doing a chapter an evening with Empty. It helped so much to listen to this a second time between being able to see the pieces put down and not listening to it at such stressful times and in such a fragmented way. I love how it is somehow a puzzle, a haunting, and a journey of growth in an old relationship that seemed doomed to fail in so many ways. Plus I love big, sarcastic, sentimental butch disaster Gideon so goddamn much. XD 

8. Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova

This was very enjoyable, but I can definitely tell that I’ve outgrown a lot of YA. It’s not that there’s anything wrong these stories-I would have loved to have grown up with this book-it’s just that it lacked a complexity I’m getting used to and that I look for in these stories. I’m so glad though to be seeing more writers of color writing experiences and characters more like them getting attention in the literary world, and I will continue to find reading these stories worth it to get glimpses into that, but I wish I saw more of this sort of hype for these writers around more adult books. It’s out there I’m sure; I just have to find it yet. Working on it! But for a YA reader I think this is a great story. I like the worldbuilding so much and the costs of the magic and the journey. I might still have to check out book two when I need an easier read. 

9. Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist by Franchesca Ramsey

I’ve been holding onto a hard copy borrowed from a friend of this for well over a year now. I got this book around the same time I got my hands on So you Want to Talk About Race and thought they were going to have very similar contents. I was incorrect. Well, That Escalated Quickly is much more about what it means to have a popular online presence. It was a really great read in a time when being online is, right now, for many of us, the only consistent way we can interact with others. I really appreciated her sharing her stories of her mess ups both as someone who needed to be called out and as someone who, for a time, was considered a ‘call out queen’ and her thoughts on community responsibility and bearing responsibility on both ends of those spectrums: it’s not just a person who messes up who bears a responsibility to act with community goals in mind to reduce harm, but also the responsibility of those who call out and when and how those might look for most effectiveness for change, personal wellbeing, and community responsibility. (The term community responsibility I’m using probably comes more from Conflict is not Abuse than this book, but I could very well see this book being a great primer for Conflict is not Abuse and might rec this to someone not yet ready for the later.) 

10. A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas

This book was a roller coaster. I started off really excited about some ideas and themes it was exploring that I don’t really see done hardly ever and was really intrigued. About a third of the way through, it did something that I felt very much undermined one of the themes I was enjoying a lot, and up until the very end, I was very close to deciding against reading book three. At pretty much that last minute though, it intrigued me enough to want to see how a thing would be played out and a resolution would be found. I don’t even know if I’d say I super liked the book and thus series by the time I was done reading this one, but I was intrigued. Sometimes I get the feeling the author doesn’t trust her audience and spells certain things out way too much, sometimes to the detriment of the plot, and I’m really not a fan of the ‘so totally outclassed, all odds staked against the heroes’ thing that’s pulled in this book that comes out of nowhere and when this time we actually have powerful characters but here we are. I don’t think I’d actually recommend the series to others unless I knew their tastes aligned well, but I think I will be finishing it. 

[remromfantasies]

He Been Knew — RemRom

Warnings: Sexual talk / sex mention, secret relationship, lying, and swearing!

Word count: 1.2k

Summary: Roman and Remus’ secret gets out (just a tad ((and also by their own doing))).

Also tagging @uncensored-creativity and @pumpkinpadparadscha because it’s kinda sorta based on uncensored’s prompt :D I hope you guys all enjoy it!!

Roman snuck into Remus’ room, letting out a heavy sigh once he’d made it safely inside. Remus, laying on the bed, sat up and smirked at his brother.

“Something wrong?” He teased, leaning back on his forearms. Roman made his way over and flopped on top of the duke, curling his arms around him and pressing his face into his neck.

“It is impossible to be quiet about this.” He muttered, relaxing in their hug. “Like, we can’t even pretend to just be brothers, let alone lovers! They think we hate each other so just hanging out in the same space is impossible!”

“Ah, forbidden love,” Remus joked. Roman looked up at him with a pout, merely receiving a grin back. He rolled his eyes and leaned down for a kiss, letting out a content hum. Roman’s hands wandered across the duke's chest, playing with the chest hair peeking out of his v-neck and then slipping his hand up the base of his shirt. Remus chuckled seductively and pressed his brother close, raising his shirt as he rubbed along his skin.

“Roman!” They heard. The two kept going. They figured if no one responded that they could keep doing their thing, but it just increased the yelling. “Roman!!”

“Fine, I’m coming!” He called back. He groaned into his partner's chest, making him laugh lightheartedly.

“I’ll be here,” he winked, dragging his hand along Romans back as he left.

Roman jumped, startled out of his resigned state as Patton yelled into his ear.

“Roman!” he said. “Why were you in Remus’ room? Are you okay?” Patton was quick to check over the prince, making sure he wasn’t injured or upset.

“Padre, I’m fine!” He assured, taking his hands and smiling softly. “He merely messed with my stuff again. A small reprimand and it’s all better now. Everything is back as it should be!” Patton visibly relaxed and let out a sigh.

“Oh, good. I know he’s your brother, but I can’t help but worry.” Roman internally grimaced.

“I know, sunshine. Thank you.” The creative side glanced at the door and felt a pit of sadness fall over him. He hated lying to the others this much; it would be so much better if people could just let him and Remus live how they wished. It’s not like one of them would become pregnant! That is the concern, right..? Whatever it is, at least they consented and are happy with where their relationship has gone. Right?

After helping Patton in the living room, then Virgil in his bedroom, and lastly Deceit with a monologue, Roman was finally able to head back to his and Remus’ room. He was two rooms away, when he froze at the sound of a sharp, deep voice.

“Roman, a question, if I may?” He turned to the logical side and plastered on a semi-real smile.

“Anything, brainiac! Fire away.” Logan stepped in close, pulling out his phone and adjusting his glasses to read.

“I’m looking for a more creative mind in this, so I thought you could help. There is this idea going around of 2 or more siblings, finding romantic interest in each other.” Roman’s heart plummeted. He tried to remain a calm exterior as he internally panicked where this conversation would head. “Apparently, people disapprove of the romantic aspect, yet a lot seem to find interest in the sexual acts the siblings partake in instead. I, personally, have no opinion, merely for the fact that everything has been very black and white. I’m looking for some actual answers besides ‘it’s wrong’ or ‘love is love’. I believe you would have a more open mind about this sort of thing? ” Roman blinked, and tried to vouch.

“Well, I mean, I do fall more to the latter of the two options you gave, the whole… love is love part, I mean.”

“Alright, how come?” Logan whipped out a clipboard-- from where, we may never know-- and began to write notes. Roman stared in confusion, but once Logan met his eyes and didn’t seem weirded out any, he continued his thought.

“Well, complications in such a relationship can occur, such as DNA mixing and the effects of procreation, but it really does just come to love. If someone finds themselves fancying their sibling, who can rightfully tell them that it’s wrong? It’s not. Because for it to be wrong, it would require consequence, which it does not if experienced properly.” Logan nodded along, scratching a pen across the clipboard. “Say, example, two brothers. If they fall in love and decide to act on their feelings via touch and words of comfort and so on, why is that wrong?” Logan tapped his pen on his chin in thought.

“You do have a valid argument. There’s some heavy complications to factor, but if the pairing does know of the issues that can arise and they do not act on it, it really is just ‘two bros loving each other’. Right?” Roman winced at his wording, but chose to disregard it.

“Right! So, do you have an opinion?” Logan tossed away the clipboard and dropped the pen.

“No. It’s not my business so why should I involve myself so?” Then he walked past Roman and shut the door to his room. The creative side blinked, but then proceeded to rush into Remus’ room, nearly slamming into him as he did.

“Remus! You’re not going to believe this!”

“You mean Logan not having an opinion and choosing not to involve himself in endeavours such as our relationship?”

“Logan doesn’t have an opin— hey, wait. You heard everything.” Remus winked with a smirk. “You spoiled the surprise!”

“Awe, come on, Ro, I'm just as shocked as the next sour weeaboo. Do you think we can tell him?” Roman bit his lip in thought. Remus watched as his brows began to slowly furrow and sat up in their bed. “How’s about this! I’ll go bother him, and bring this up. You stand and listen on the other side of the door. Then we can tell. Yeah?” Roman took a breath, then let it out and agreed.

“Howdy, buttmuncher.” Remus cried, dropping onto the logical sides’ bed. Logan startled, but barely jumped. “Looking a little bland in here. Care for a little creativity to liven this place up?”

“Actually!” Logan raised a hand and spun his desk chair to face his companion. “I had Roman lend a hand with decorating not too long ago. He made sure to keep my aesthetic while creating a more uplifting atmosphere.” Remus hummed, glanced around.

“Ah, that Roman. What a dreamboat, am I right?” He rolled onto his back, looking at Logan for a reaction. The reaction was a mere eyebrow raise.

“I’m not sure I would use that term in particular, though he is rather generous.”

“You’re right, perhaps there is a stronger term. How about, foxy? Ravishing? Ooh, I like that one!” Logan tilted his head.

“There’s a reason you’re choosing these words, isn’t there?” Remus rolled back onto his stomach, putting his head in his hands.

“Maybe. Can you guess?”

“Roman told you about what I spoke to him about and you’re here to tell me you two find yourselves in a situation of romantic attraction to one another?” Remus gasped and pulled his hands to his face in mock surprise.

“Logy wogy, you’re so smart~!” The logical side made a small face of agreement, adding in verbal confirmation to his ingenious. Also the fact that the two weren’t exactly subtle in the eyes of someone with his level of intelligence and eye for detail. “Oh, and we fucked, too.” And that, Logan unfortunately already knew as well.

[aver-no]

Real to Me (A Sanders Sides Princess and the Frog AU)  Prologue

First | Next

Summary: Virgil Bast grew up in a poor neighborhood in New Orleans, learning from his family’s work ethic and never once slowing down from the day he could get a job of his own. He’s always been kept company by his best friend, Patton La Bouff, son of the richest man in New Orleans. 

Prince Roman of Maldonia has always been surrounded by praise, money, and almost anything he could ever want. Prince Remus, on the other hand, has never really been what you might call the pride of Maldonia. 

And the Shadow Man has only ever wanted to punish those who’ve done wrong, helped along by his Friend on the Other Side.

Relationships: Platonic moxiety, eventual prinxiety

Characters: Virgil, Patton (eventual Roman, Remus, Janus, Logan, C!Thomas)

Warnings: None for this chapter! (There will be eventual unsympathetic Janus and Remus, but they get redeemed. There will also eventually be racial prejudice, but no slurs or physical violence.)

Word count: 1644

A/N: Hi, I’d like to preface this fic by saying that I’m not black. Although I am non-white, I also don’t have the same experiences as black people do and therefore cannot do their stories justice the way that they can. 

I really debated on how best to write this au, because I want to give the best representation that I possibly can, and I even considered just scrapping it. However, I was really excited about it, and in the end I wanted to provide what representation I can, because as a racial minority myself, I know that some representation (so long as it’s accurate) is better than none at all. 

There are no internal monologues about being black in this story, because I don’t know how that would go. I also realize that not all black people share the same exact thoughts/opinions and since I can’t use my own personal experience with racism for this, I figured it best to leave out the internal aspects of it altogether, so that I don’t misrepresent the black community. There is, however, some racism aimed at some of the characters by others. This is something I felt like I could accurately write about, having witnessed and experienced racism myself. The racism is there, presented, and condemned, but I don’t offer much more than that. Discrimination on the basis of race and/or color is something that too many people have faced, and I felt that it was too important to leave out of the story altogether (especially considering it’s part of why Tiana struggled to get her restaurant in the movie itself).

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!! This is something I’ve worked hard on, and I really hope you enjoy it! This first chapter is going to be mostly characterization and setting up the rest of the story, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! 

Without further ado, I give you Real to Me!

“Just at that moment, the ugly little frog looked up with his sad, round eyes and pleaded, ‘Oh, please, dear princess, only a kiss from you can break this terrible spell that was inflicted on me by a wicked witch!’”

Virgil felt Patton lean over to him to loudly whisper, “Here comes my favorite part!” Virgil mentally prepared himself for what he knew was coming next.

“And the beautiful princess was so moved by his desperate plea that she stooped down,” Patton was leaning in now, “picked up the slippery creature,” Virgil was leaning away, “and kissed that little frog!”

Pat gave a squeal of delight and grabbed the cat that was walking by, squeezing it so tightly its eyes seemed to pop out. All while Virgil was dramatically sticking his tongue out as far as he could.

That was one thing about his friend that Virgil would never understand. How could Patton possibly think that the story was anything but unrealistic and unsanitary? The princess could’ve contracted some disease! Or maybe the frog was lying and he wasn’t even a prince?! Who came up with those stories?? He needed to have a talk with them.

“...and they lived happily ever after!”

He heard Patton sigh with delight before looking at Virgil’s mama with pleading eyes. “Will you read it again Mrs. Bast?”

“Sorry, honey, we’d better be heading home,” she said with a kind smile. “Say goodbye Virgil.”

“There is no way I’d ever ever EVER kiss a frog. Yuck,” Virgil ranted as he gathered his things from around the room.

“Even if he turned into a prince after?” Patton asked.

Virgil nodded hard. “Especially if he turned into a prince. Princes are just rich boys who do nothing all day but ride on their horses and dance with pretty ladies. I’d have to do all his work for him!”

“Nuh-uh!! Princes are brave, and polite, and after you’re married, they only dance with you!” Pat defended.

“You don’t kn-!”

“Evening Eudora!” Patton’s daddy called as he turned into the room.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Pat jumped up and down excitedly. “Look at my new dress!!” He twirled around to show off the fluffy, sky blue gown Eudora had sewn for him.

“Why, I’d expect nothing less from the finest seamstress in New Orleans!”

“Well thanks, Mr. La Bouff,” Eudora Bast replied. “Sorry to leave so soon after seeing ya, but we’d best be heading out now.”

Virgil vaguely heard Mr. La Bouff give his well-wishes to his mama as Pat was walking over to say, “What if the prince wasn’t lazy and boring? Would you marry him then?”

“I’d only marry him if he wasn’t just some prince in a book,” Virgil stated matter-of-factly. “He has to be a real person that I can talk to.”

“Well duh, silly! You can’t marry a book!” the blond boy laughed.

“Virgil! It’s time to go home baby, your daddy should be home by now,” Eudora called to him.

He ran over to where his mama was standing in the wide, elegant doorway and shouted, “Bye Patton!”

“Bye Virge!!”

~

Virgil always liked the ride home. He could watch the other people on the tram, and wonder what they’re like, and stare out the window at the fuzzy streetlights in the distance. Plus he got to lean his head on his mama’s shoulder and feel the tram rock side to side. It made him feel safe. 

When they got near their neighborhood, Eudora whispered, “Go ahead and pull the cord.”

Virgil waved goodbye to the driver as he hopped off the tram and onto the sidewalk. He looked up at his mama as they walked down the street. “Why does Pat wanna marry a prince so bad? He’s already a prince, pretty much.”

“I don’t know sweetheart.” The lights made his mama’s face look so warm. “Maybe he wants to make it official. You could ask him sometime.”

“No,” Virgil said thoughtfully, “I think I’ll just help him find his prince. Oh! That can be his birthday present this year!!”

Eudora laughed lightly and smiled down at him. “I think that’s a great idea, hon.”

Voices rang out from houses along the streets, and Virgil could see families laughing together through some of the glowing windows. The two of them stepped up to the old, brown house and the door that creaks when you open it. As soon as he stepped inside, Virgil smelled the most amazing gumbo in the world, the kind only his daddy could make. He could almost taste it in the air. That, in combination with the yellow light coming from the kitchen and his daddy’s heavy, brown coat draped over the living room chair made Virgil feel like there was a fire in his chest, the kind that you have at Christmas. 

“Daddy! We’re home!!”

Mr. Bast looked over his shoulder at the two coming inside, and smiled big. “Hey, Virge! I’m almost done chopping veggies, you wanna help me finish?”

“Yeah!! Can I taste it?” the boy asked as he dragged a chair over to the old stove.

“I’d be hurt if you didn’t,” James joked, helping him up. “How ‘bout you put these peppers in?”

After they’d let the ingredients stew in the pot for a while, Virgil put the wooden spoon to his mouth and his daddy asked, “How’s it taste?”

“Hmm…” Virgil tapped his chin a bit before quickly sliding to the floor, running over to the cupboard, and grabbing a bottle of tabasco. He dashed back over to the pot and shook in some of the sauce. “There! Try it!” The curly-haired boy handed the spoon over to his dad. He laughed as his daddy made a big show of tasting it.

“Mmm, now that has to be the best gumbo I ever tasted!” James grabbed Virgil under the arms and swung him to the ground. “Why don’t you go with your mama to call the neighborhood over? I’ll grab the pot.”

Virgil slid out of his daddy’s arms and nodded before running to the door. He flung it open and shouted as loud as he could, “Hey, everybody! I made gumbo!!” His mama reached where he was standing on the porch and stood behind him proudly, while the neighbors greeted him with “Woo! That smells good!” and he replied with “I made it almost all by myself! My daddy helped a little though.” Mr. Bast spooned out some gumbo into everyone’s bowls, and one by one they picked up their spoons.

It was quiet for a little, the kind that happens when your family’s sat around the table and it’s been a long day, but now you get to eat something and it barely even matters what it is because you’re all eating it in the same place at the same time. Then, though, people start saying things like “Mm-mm-mmm!!” and “this is fantastic Virgil, you must’ve gotten your daddy’s talent.” He could barely stop smiling long enough to chew. (His mama didn’t say anything about chewing with his mouth closed.) (This time.)

~

That night, when Virgil snuggled under his covers, he was smiling. He felt his mama sitting down on the bed by his feet. James was standing right next to her.

“You know the thing about good food?” Virgil looked up at his daddy. “It brings folks together from all walks of life. It warms them right up and it puts little smiles on their faces.” He tapped Virgil’s cheeks when he said it. James pulled a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket and showed it to Virgil, a drawing of a beautiful golden room with fancy tables and soaring ceilings. There were lots of people in the picture, musicians and waiters and diners with nice clothes and big feathers. “When I open up my restaurant, I tell you, people are going to line up for miles around just to get a taste of my food.”

Virgil sat up at that. “Our food.”

“That’s right, baby. Our food,” his daddy laughed and handed him the picture. The boy held it gently in his hands, like it was the most precious thing in the world.

Suddenly, Virgil got up and said, “Oh, look!” He stared out the window.

“What is it, hon?” Eudora craned her head to see what he was looking at.

“Patton’s fairy tale book said if you wish on a star, it’s sure to come true!”

James smiled at him and said gently, “Well, you wish on that star. You dream with all your heart. But remember, Virge, that star can only take you part of the way.” Virgil looked away from the star and back at his daddy. “You’ve got to help it along with some hard work of your own, and then, yeah, you can do anything you set your mind to. Just promise me one thing.” Virgil held his eyes. “That you’ll never, ever lose sight of what’s really important. Okay?” He nodded hard, twice, just to be sure his daddy knew he was serious. 

His mama reached over to rub the tight black curls on his head. “See you in the morning, baby.”

“Get some sleep,” James told him.

“G’night,” Virgil whispered as he snuggled deeper into bed.

When the door closed, he hopped up again and went to the window. He could still find the star he had been looking at earlier — it was the brightest, and almost in the very middle of the sky. Almost like it was standing on a stage, waiting to be seen. Virgil closed his eyes and held the drawing to his chest. “I wish, I wish, I wish…”

Rrrrrribbit.

Virgil slowly turned to see the frog on the windowsill. 

If he screamed, it was nobody’s business. (His mama and daddy were lucky enough to enjoy his company that night.)

~

A/N: Ok so I realize that it’s a lot of just quoting the movie, but I liked the way they set it up so I figured why fix it if it’s not broken right? But from here on, the characters deviate more from those of the movie, so the dialogue will be a whole lot more of my own :) it’ll be a lot more interesting next chapter, I promise. (And Virgil will be grown next time.)

Taglist: @prinxiety-shipper101 @meowthefluffy